#and it's like I'm 10 years old again seeing two of my best friends leaving me out in everything

[dreaisgrayte]

Camp Maple | Sanemi Shinazugawa x fem!reader

Warnings: NSFW, MDNI, kissing, friends to grudge to friends to sassy to lovers? childhood trauma, masturbation (fem and male), tad bit of angst, unprotected sex, cream pie, more to come? Honestly the ending could do with a rewrite but I'm too lazy for that right now.

word count: 17.5k

a/n: writers block sucks so I'm sorry if the end is trash. I wanted to get this out before school started up again. Unedited.

It’s fucking summer again. That meant working for your mother’s sleepaway camp. Maple Woods was a fun enough place to work when your mother wasn’t visiting, but if you had to work with that asshole again you highly doubt this would be the best summer ever that your mother promised you. At least last year he wasn’t scheduled to be a leader with you.

The main office is where you would grab your schedule and overall camp theme for this summer. It’s also where you could check what group you were head of. Luckily, the office building was right off the parking lot. The mess hall was a few yards down a worn rock pathway from the old brick building you were heading into. 

The yellow screen door swings open with a screech, and you’re met with the steady whir of box fans pointed at the one lady you enjoyed seeing every year. Her straight blonde hair flutters in the heavy breeze as she looks up from her monitor. Once her caramel brown eyes settle on you, a sugary sweet smile overtakes her features. “YN!” She exclaims, standing from behind the counter. “I’m so glad you decided to come back, sweetie.” She extends her arms, walking out toward you. This is your aunt, Yena. She practically helped raise you when your mother would drop you off. Your childhood home was a 10 minute drive away, and where you lived now was around 15 minutes, depending on how long you procrastinated in traffic in an attempt to prolong accidentally running into your mother. Yena made sure your group of friends had snacks and unlimited access to her office. She was there when you had your first period. In other words, Yena was like a mother to you, at least more than your actual biological one. 

You embrace each other, and the overwhelming smell of cinnamon hits your nose like a tidal wave. It was like home in a hug. “Like I had a choice.” You mumble but laugh with her after a beat. This felt nice, but you needed to settle in before the rest of the counselors flooded in and started the pre-camp party. “Ah, do you happen to know which cabin group I’ll be in charge of?” You inquire, holding her back from you. 

Her brows crease with thought, and then she looks excited, holding up a finger to tap your nose. “Ah my little honeysuckle, you are co-leading the caterpillars.” She hums in delight. You tilt your head. Co-leading? 

“Co-leading? With whom?” Your chest feels heavy. Last year, your co-leader was a slacker, leaving you with all the work and little time for yourself. Your group of kids were absolute sweethearts, so you didn’t mind too much. Still, the experience had put a bad taste in your mouth. Yena’s back to concentrating on your question, but this time, she shakes her head with a slight frown. 

“I’m sorry dear, I don’t remember. Though, I do remember thinking that you two are sure to make a good pair!” She clasps your hands excitedly at the latter part of her sentence. You force yourself to smile through the anxiety. 

“Heh, yeah.” In translation, you were screaming internally. “I’ll go figure it out.” The only thing you could do was head to your cabin and hope to bump into your co-lead. Maple Woods usually had 2 young adults co-lead a group of kids to keep things safe. The co-leads shared the head cabin, no matter what. It was the first cabin in a ring of 4 other ones. The campers were divided by age – that’s where the different sections came from – then put into co-ed cabins. One cabin could fit about 8 comfortably, depending on how many kids signed up. The caterpillars are the 2nd and 3rd grader sections. The co-leader cabin was bigger, but that’s only because of the shared bathroom and small kitchen area. 

The air smells fresh, and you get lost in memories for a moment. There was the main hall where the welcoming ceremony would be held, and a cement path through a small patch of trees off to the side led to the different sections of cabins. On the other side of the path, surrounded by a small patch of trees, was the mess hall where meals and activities would be held. The older kids had cabins further into the woods while your section of cabins was situated right by the lake. Down the middle, past the mess hall and cabins, was the maple woods lake. The sunlight is glittering off the ripples already. Peace. That’s what the lake reminded you of. Up a trail on the north side, there was even a secluded waterfall, but the kids didn’t get to know about that part. 

You walk down the cracked cement walkway, puttering around with a rock as you go. The green doors are easy enough to spot against the orangey light wood of the cabins. You were lucky. You got the cabins right by the lakefront. You hike up the stairs, noting a suitcase outside the left door. Okay, so someone was here. That was a good sign. Walking through the right door it hits you that you didn’t grab any of your bags from the car. You stop in the middle of the room, groaning loudly. “Shit.” You curse, turning on your heel. It takes about 10 minutes for you to clamber back into the room this time with your bags haphazardly strapped across your body. They slip off your body with no regard for your hair or your skin. 

The room is simple, a bed in the corner, a closet, a desk, and a nightstand with a cute lamp on it. To the left are two doors, one leads to the kitchenette area – the other leads to the Jack and Jill bathroom, in which you can hear rushing water. Your co-leader must be taking a preemptive shower. You give an approving nod, wishing you could take a shower yourself. Instead, you decide to wander through the far door and into the kitchenette area. There’s a round table with a chair on either side of it pushed under a window. A small amount of counter space – treated pine countertops – decked out with a stove, sink, and a few cabinets. A fridge acted as the counter stopper, which was right next to your room – hmm, useful. Across from the kitchen area was a single sofa with a TV mounted on the wall. You always loved the counselors’ cabins because they were full of useful amenities. 

You pull out a chair, sitting down at the table to peer out the window at Lake Maple. You hear a door open and turn your attention toward the sound with a cheerful smile. You had the full intention of greeting your co-leader. Instead, you’re met with the bare chest of a silver-haired and lilac-eyed asshole. A simple cotton towel is wrapped around his waist, water droplets still lazily pathing their way down his sinewy chest and past the line of the before-mentioned towel. Your brows knit together, and he does the same. “Sanemi,” you grumble, forcing a smile upon your lips. “Please tell me you’re a figment of my imagination.” This cannot be happening. Sanemi Shinazugawa can not be your co-leader. 

When you met him for the first time both of you had bonded over having a shit parent. His father was abusive, scarring his son emotionally and physically. Despite the jagged pink scar that travels over the bridge of his nose and three crossing over each other on his forehead, Sanemi was excessively attractive. He wore his scars as a badge of what he’d overcome, but you knew there was underlying disgust that was hidden away.

He rolls his eyes, frustratedly peering to the corner of the room. “Believe me darlin’ I’m just as annoyed by this as you are.” Heat floods your cheeks at his casual way of speaking. You cross your arms over your chest, standing up from your chair with dramatic grandeur. 

His eyes follow your actions, concentrating on the way you nearly stumble to the side. He quirks a smile and this only fuels your annoyance, which was amusing in its own right. “There has to be a way we can switch out,” You throw your hands up, exasperated. Sanemi shakes his head, placing his hands on his hips. 

He then jerks his head toward the general direction of the main office. “Already checked with Yena, they don’t trust anyone else but you’n me to run the caterpillar crew.” He explains, disdain practically dripping from his voice. You groan toward the ceiling. 

Of course, your mother would pull some shit like this. Making you work with the one person that could make you falter at your job. Was this a test? It was sure as hell annoying especially with Sanemi standing half-naked in front of you. “For fuck’s sake can you please go put on a shirt or something?” You pinch the bridge of your nose squeezing your eyes shut. 

Your words only earn a dark chuckle from the man across from you. “Why? I thought I could wear this to the bonfire.” He shoots back smugly. 

A long sigh blows past your lips as you decide not to honor him with a response. Instead, you head back into your room and slam the door. You fuss around with your hair, unpacking while you search for an outfit. Sanemi was so aggravating. With that smug look on his face and- you throw your hands down in frustration, frowning into the handheld mirror you propped against the wall. Sun earrings dangle from your ears, a simple gold chain around your throat, and mascara lifts your lashes. You put on high-waisted jean shorts and a pink bleach-washed tye-dye tank. Tennis shoes and white socks wrap it together. 

Your heart hammers an overwhelming rhythm as you blow out a breath. Sanemi Shinazugawa was sleeping in the same cabin as you, sharing food, time, and a bathroom. You had to get over this stupid grudge against him. It wasn’t healthy to latch onto something so silly for such a long time, but back then it hurt like hell. For the children, you had to put your past behind you. Maybe if you got drunk enough tonight you could talk to him about it, but those odds were very unlikely.  

There were a few people you wanted to chat with at the bonfire, have a few drinks, and then you’d be nicely tucked into bed ready for campers to start arriving tomorrow. Simple as that. A grin makes its way onto your face as you slip out of your cabin, but it quickly drops when you notice Sanemi leaning against the deck railing. You try not to sigh too loud, but he must hear it because he quirks a brow in your direction. “Why are you creepily waiting outside my door?” You inquire, gesturing to him. He huffs out a breath, stepping out of his leaning position. 

He’s wearing a black hoodie with shorts. You’re mildly upset by how good he looks in darker clothes. It contrasts his hair in such a way that captivates you. You shake those thoughts out of your head as he trots down the stairs, hands stuffed in his pockets. “I can’t very well leave you to walk to the spot by yourself.” He nods in the direction of the dark path that winds through the woods and up the rocky ledges. 

You raise your brows, joining him on the ground. “You think I can’t handle a little spooky path on my own?” You scoff. Sanemi rolls his eyes and the action pricks your skin. 

He starts walking toward the path’s entrance and when you don’t follow he gives you a pointed look. “Shall I remind you of when we were seven?” 

“Sanemi hold my hand! I’m scared!” You whine, grasping his hands when he doesn’t make a move. “Promise me you won’t leave my side!” 

You whinge, shuddering at the memory, but jog to catch up with him anyway. He turns his head to watch the path become progressively darker, a few lamps hung on trees here and there. A grin finds its way onto his lips at the way you walk closer to him every time you hear a noise. “For a girl who grew up out here, you sure are jumpy. If you get too scared you can always hold my hand again.” He blurts, not meaning to tease you, but when your reaction is flushed cheeks and a high-pitched squeak, he can’t help himself. 

Eventually, the flickering light of a campfire and the sound of laughter distracts you from the man walking next to you. You rush ahead, excitedly finding your way to Shinobu and Mitsuri, two of your closest friends. The only people invited to this bonfire were the kids who grew up coming to this camp and eventually became counselors or otherwise affiliated. 

Gyomei Himejima; the stern, yet emotional one that usually dealt with the older kids. He claims the young ones are too selfish and he’s unable to keep them in check. He’s the oldest one here but still has such a soft spirit despite not having any family to go home to. Gyomei honestly loves the summer gig, but always chats about his pet cat that he can’t wait to get back to. You guess that was his family to get back to. 

Tengen Uzui; Mister Casanova with the other counselors, but he’s rumored to be otherwise attached. Which was fine by you, Tengen was all talk, no action. Besides you didn’t want any action from him – his fan club would hunt you down and no matter how many defense classes you took, you would not be able to stop them.

Giyu Tomioka; the quiet one. He was great at his job but not the best at talking with the other counselors. He usually sat and listened to all of you talk on, interjecting a few times with his opinion. He was a genuine and good guy, you enjoyed talking to him one-on-one.

Kyojuro Rengoku; no one else could handle the little rascals than him. He worked with the younger children since he was as kind-hearted as they come. It takes a special type of person to do his job and no one could do it better than him, except maybe Mitsuri.

Mitsuri Kanroji; also works with the nursery and younger kids. She was a nurturer at heart, caring for the young ones was her specialty. You kept in contact with her and Shinobu the most outside of camp. 

Shinobu Kocho; was the head of the infirmary, in case a child got a pretty bad scrape or needed medication. She may appear stern, but she was actually a big softy when it came to caring for the injured.

Obanai Iguro; head of the kitchen and helps lead exploration hikes. Obanai didn’t talk much either, he had that mysterious bad-boy thing going for him – which unfortunately Mitsuri fawns over. He was also Sanemi’s best friend. 

The bonfire was an annual party held the day before camp starts. There was a rocky clearing at the top of the waterfall that fed into the lake. This spot had a perfect view of Camp Maple, overlooking the soft glowing lights and some people rushing around for last-minute chores. Memories intertwined themselves with the breeze rushing through the trees surrounding the group. It was like a second home up here or maybe more of an escape. Either way, the light feeling growing in your chest was a welcomed change from knowing you’d have to work with Sanemi. It wasn’t the worst thing in the world to happen to you. It still felt like a firecracker ready to explode in your face at any moment. There was bound to be trouble with this arrangement.

You glance at him, his eyes reflecting the warm glow of the fire. He’s grinning as he chats with Obanai, bringing a can of beer to his lips. You watch as his throat bobs, a dribble of liquid pooling at the corner of his mouth and eventually trickling down his neck. Before you can look away his eyes catch yours, a smirk lifting his lips as he pulls the can away. He raises his brows and your back straightens, your gaze quickly darting away. 

“Hey YN, have another drink.” Shinobu nudges you, passing you a bottle of liquor. You grin as you take it from her. 

The cool glass feels great against your mouth as you take a swig. The liquor burns a little as it slides down your throat, but it has a nice fruity taste to it. “Thanks,” You raise your glass to clink against hers. 

Mitsuri is on your other side, nervously wondering if she should talk to Obanai. “YN, would it be…weird for me to interject in their conversation?” She whispers in your ear, motioning discreetly to Obanai and Sanemi. You let out a soft sigh before chugging the rest of your drink. Your body fizzes with the warm gooey feeling of alochol. Mitsuri watches you with wide eyes, they sparkle in amazement. “Woah, that was really cool!” She exclaims. You huff out a laugh, extending your hand for Shinobu to hand you another. She does as you request and you pop open the cap with your teeth, letting the contents of the bottle slip into your mouth. Mitsuri claps excitedly, gaining the attention of the guys next to her. 

Sanemi stares at you, his brows knitting together slowly as he watches you swig one more bottle. You stand, swaying slightly as you turn to Sanemi. His gaze is trained on you, standing up as you stumble toward him. You crash into his arms, a dumb grin lining your lips. The group now looks on at the spectacle. “Nemi~” You coo, swinging your arms over his neck. Sanemi’s throat bobs, wrapping his muscular arm around your back to stabilize you. 

He laughs nervously, smiling with gritted teeth toward the rest of the group. “I’m going to take her back down,” He begins, pressing you tighter into his grip. You’re frustrated with how good his body feels against yours and when your shirt rides up a bit his skin feels like fire. Everyone seems in agreement, but you twist in his arms to shoot Mitsuri a thumbs up and a wink. Her face erupts in a red flurry and your goofy smile turns back to meet Sanemi’s gaze. 

You giggle at his stern expression. “Boop!” You squeak, tapping the tip of his nose with your finger. His brows raise slowly as he takes in your slumping condition. 

Sanemi turns around, squatting down on his haunches. “Get on.” He motions with his head for you to climb onto his back. You hum excitedly, slinging your arms over his neck. Your legs wobble as you try to position yourself over his back. He sighs, reaching behind him to swipe your calves out from under you. You squeal as he repositions you, sliding his warm big hands under your thighs. “Hold on tight darlin’.” He instructs and you listen well by pressing into his back, nuzzling your chin onto his shoulder. “Well, have a good night everyone.” He tries his best to wave, the group saying their goodbyes. 

The view from his back is enjoyable as he hikes down the trail. “You’re so strong,” You mumble, spanning your hands down his chest absentmindedly. Sanemi pauses, his muscles constricting as you touch him. 

He shoots a look over his shoulder as you grope him. “Yeah, I work out, now please stop harassing me.” He jumps you further up his back to keep you from slipping off. You giggle at the jostling motion. 

Despite his earlier complaint, he lets your hands roam over what parts of his body you can reach. There's a comfortable silence that falls over you both but as you peer into the woods a memory you’d rather not think about seeps into your mind. “Sanemi,” You start, trying to swallow the way your heart is beating – hopefully, he couldn’t feel it against his back. “I’m sorry I was so angry at you.” The apology comes out of nowhere, but Sanemi knows what you’re talking about. 

He stops in his tracks, shutting his eyes for a beat. “Don’t apologize for what you have every right to feel.” He takes in a deep breath, you can feel his body rise with the motion. “I didn’t think your mother would do that, I-” His voice cracks and he clears his throat before continuing. “I was just worried about you. I was too scared to find you so I went to your mother.” 

Your brows scrunch and you feel your chest tighten at his words. You tap his back. “I want down.” He silently helps you slide down his back. He still holds onto you, making sure you can stand on your own. You glare into his soft expression, bottom lip trembling. “You should’ve found me,” Your nose stings with the pressure of tears welling in your eyes. He watches you with a solemn frown. “You should’ve come to me!” Your voice raises, a tear falling down your cheek. You hit his chest, letting out a choked sob. “You knew Sanemi, you knew she’d be angry.” Your fist drops from his chest, coming up to cover your soaked face. “I hoped beyond everything that you would appear over the hill, not her.” You throw your hands down, shaking your head. He just stands there, letting you drunkenly yell and cry like an idiot in front of him. Letting you hit him, throw your words at him, and relive a past you’d rather forget. 

He takes a step forward, yearning to reach out for you. “YN…” His voice is soft and comforting – you hate the fact you want to fall into his arms again. Have him carry you to safety like he should’ve done all those years ago. 

You step away from him, raising your hands in front of your face. “No, no, I need time.” Your voice trembles and as you leave Sanemi standing there in the dark you cry all the way back to your bed.

❦❦❦❦❦

“Welcome to Camp Maple Woods!” Your mother clasps her hands together excitedly. You groan from your position against the back wall with the rest of the counselors. She continues with the opening speech, her grating voice making your hangover that much worse. Mitsuri bumps shoulders with you, an all too happy smile on her face. 

You wish for just a second that you could have her resilience, but being perfect sounds like too much work. “Hey!” She whispers loudly to you. You peer around you, acting like she was talking to someone else. Mitsuri isn’t pleased with your antics because she crosses her arms over her chest and gives you a pointed look. You immediately halt and motion for her to continue. “Obanai and I texted all night.” Her stern expression lifts into a grin as her cheeks light up with a rosy color. 

You’re about to celebrate with her when Sanemi walks through the back doors. The happiness you share with Mitsuri washes away. You swallow hard, eyeing him as he leans against the wall next to Obanai. Unfortunately for you, Mitsuri is very observant. She glances between you and Sanemi, narrowing her eyes. “Now campers are you ready to go on your tours!?” Your attention is drawn to the front where your mother claps her hands together. For a brief moment, she meets your gaze and your blood boils. “May all our wonderful counselors head up to the stage!? We’ll be getting into our sections now!”

You put on your best smile, following Mitsuri to the stairs. Sanemi jogs up behind you and the resolve you’d built up this morning before heading to the main hall nearly crumbles to the ground. You had done your best to wake up early, hate your life as little as possible, shower, get ready, and escape the cabin before bumping into him. His presence behind you is an annoying warmth you want to swat away. Mitsuri joins Kyojuro and you awkwardly stand next to Sanemi with a strained smile. 

His shoulder brushes against yours and your breath hitches quietly. Your mother appears in front of you both, a blank expression on her features as she holds out a caterpillar sign to you. Your throat tightens, but Sanemi swipes it from her before she can shove it in your hands. You glance at him, brows knit together. The last thing you hear from your mother is a click of her tongue as she moves down the line. “Thank you.” You whisper, heart thumping in your chest. Was he trying to make up for what you talked about last night? 

He glances down at you, his smile shifting to something different. “Come find us caterpillars!” He yells and you gawk at him. He shoots you a wink and your lips part in awe. Did he just wink at you? That was so… weird. You shake your head and flail your hands in the air. 

Children start surrounding you, awkwardly shuffling to make room for others. Sanemi hands you a slip of paper with a list of names on it. Attendance doesn’t take long since everyone seems to have gathered around you. “Alright crew, let’s head out on that tour!” You exclaim, pointing your hand toward the double doors in the back. “Squirm to it you little caterpillars!” You shoo them down the stage, giggles erupting from a few of them as you jump off the edge. 

Sanemi follows the rest of them down the stairs, still holding the sign in the air. You giggle at how seriously he’s taking the task. “Mister Sanemi?” A small girl tugs on his shorts once everyone is outside. He peeks down at her with an award-winning smile. “Why is she not miss Sanemi?” She points to you and your eyes go wide as you tense. What kind of question is that!? Was there some code of conduct that camp leaders had to married to each other? Was two names that hard to remember?

Sanemi squats down and suddenly you get a flashback of him doing the same thing last night for you. You swallow, watching as he jerks his head in your direction. “Miss YN isn’t my wife, so she doesn’t share my name.” He explains. You drag a hand down your face. You didn’t expect this type of question to be asked so soon or at all. 

The little girl frowns and another kid points at Sanemi. “B-but I saw you wink at her!” The boy yells accusingly. Shit.

Sanemi glances at you with a ‘I fucked up’ look. He turns back to the group of children swarming him. He laughs easily. “I had something in my eye…” He deadpans. All of them suspiciously glare at him. 

You step into the circle, patting the top of Sanemi’s head. “It’s our secret leader code,” You begin, nudging him with your hip. “Whenever we have info on the big bad boss we wink at each other.” You wink at the children and their little faces light up. “Now you’re all in on our secret mission. Ready caterpillars!?” You stomp your feet and salute them with seriousness. They gasp and follow suit.

“Yes miss YN!” Sanemi shoots up from his squatted position, saluting you with a stupidly handsome grin. You stutter for a moment, before going back to at ease. “Now, what do you say we drop all these heavy bags off at the cabins and start exploring?” Sanemi suggests, pointing to the small path that led to the caterpillar cabins. As he excitedly starts leading them off into the distance you make sure to gather the stragglers. A smile of your own tugs on the corners of your mouth. Maybe you did make a pretty good team. 

Sanemi takes a seat on the stairs of your cabin, observing the kids form cabins of their own. You plop down one stair down from him, an amused grin forming on his lips. “What are you grinning about?” You quiz, glancing at him. 

He shrugs, shifting himself onto the same step as you and leaning back against the other steps. You can’t help the way your heart seems to pick up river dancing, beating fully. “Just figurin’ since we’re agents together we should be close.” You glare over your shoulder, met with his lazy smirk in your direction. A huff compresses out of your mouth as you roll your eyes. “What? I like the way you act when I get close to you.” He laughs, eyeing your reaction – which was exactly what he wanted. 

From his vantage point, Sanemi can just about manage to see your cheeks flush before you turn away from him, hiding away in your arm. “Like I’m being infected?” You shoot back, quickly standing up and – definitely pretending – to stretch. 

Sanemi’s eyes slowly rake up the exposed skin of your back, his tongue swirling around in his mouth as if trying to imagine how you would taste. “Mmm, somethin’ like that.” He hums, grinning widely when you narrow your eyes at him. 

The group of children start lining up in the grass, playing with each other while waiting for the rest of them. Some of them you recognize from last year, it’s crazy how fast kids can grow and change. Once you recognize all of their faces you and Sanemi start the tour. 

There are specific things that a sleepaway camp needs to have. Such as the obvious answer, cabins. The next obvious thing on the list is a beautiful lake. “Lake Maple was discovered way back when and this camp was built around it to preserve the landscape. There are canoes, swim gear, and a nice dock to carefully jump from. Make sure if you go to the lake that you have either Mister Sanemi or myself with you for safety.” Sanemi watches you recite the information you were supposed to give out, but you seem genuinely excited talking about the camp’s history. It was endearing… and the way your eyes gleam reminds him of when you were little, climbing trees and always reaching your hand out to him. You never left him behind. He sighs, turning away from your speech. 

The next thing a camp needs is huge buildings where lots of kids can gather. “This is the mess hall, where we’ll have breakfast, lunch, and dinner! It’ll also be where some indoor activities are held. If we don’t gather here, we’ll meet up by the picnic benches back at Caterpillar Circle. Over there is the infirmary where Miss Shinobu will gladly help you out. The main office is the building you should’ve passed when you were dropped off, that’s where Mrs Yena will be with, sadly, the only phone that has any service.” You point out, then turn toward the woods on the other side of the main camp area. You gesture widely to the expanse, taking in a deep breath. “And this, my little squiggles,” the children giggle, “Is Maple Woods, where we will hike trails, explore the wonders of nature, and fight off the evil boss.” Without thinking you wink at Sanemi. You can tell by the way his eyes bulge that he wasn’t expecting it, but as the little heads slowly turn to watch his reaction he quickly winks back at you. You catch yourself sighing in relief that you wouldn’t have to lay in bed staring at the ceiling for too long tonight because of that. 

A little girl you recognize from previous years – Himari you think – raises her hand. You nod to her in recognition. “Are we going to have the first-day campfire?” She jumps up and down, the girls around her getting excited as well. You glance down at your watch, then up to the sky, then do the girls. 

It was already late in the afternoon, the kids would have dinner and then gather back at Caterpillar Circle for an evening get-to-know-each-other campfire session. You grin, kids always enjoy the fire for some concerning reason. “Way to steal my job Himari!” You laugh and she giggles along with you. “Okay everyone, you heard Himari, head back to your cabins and get ready for dinner. Then we’ll have some time to get closer before bedtime. We have a busy day of fun tomorrow.” When they stare at you blankly, obviously waiting for one of you to start leading the way, you start marching your way down the path with as much vigor as you can muster. 

Soon enough, you and Sanemi are back in your positions on the stairs to your cabin. That comfortable silence blankets you again, like the setting sun’s warmth. “Ya’know you’re really good at this,” Sanemi begins before blowing out a breath and turning to face you. “M’glad we get to work together.” He finishes, a distant glimmer of emotion swirling around in his lilac gaze. You suck in a breath, a storm brewing in your stomach. 

Sanemi was a good guy, that much was obvious, but all those years ago had driven a wedge between you two. He hadn’t said the words ‘I’m sorry’ yet, which was a small nuance in the grand scheme of things. Sanemi was never really the type to say an apology, instead, he showed you. You can’t expect that much to change within him and you’re kind of glad. He would make it up to you until you were sure the wounds had begun to heal. He was giving you time to make up your mind on whether or not you wanted to forgive him. “Me too,” You whisper against the breeze. 

A whole column of picnic tables lined up edge-to-edge belong to your crew as you file into the mess hall. A couple of other groups are already sitting down with food, including the littles. Mitsuri and Kyojuro wave excitedly at you and Sanemi. You grin, waving back. “Alright squiggles, show me how nicely you can line up to receive dinner. Then come sit down and we’ll have a little camp saying before we start eating together.” They scramble toward the food and you kick your legs under the table part, deflating slightly. 

Sanemi comes up behind you, placing a hand on your shoulder. It makes you straighten your back and whip around to look at him. His lips curl in a playful grin. “Want the usual?” You glance at the kitchen, your stomach growling softly. You look back to Sanemi, nodding eagerly. 

As he walks away you think back to when he’d grab you dinner all the time, sitting in this exact mess hall. “Don’t disappoint me Shinazugawa!” You yell and he shoots you a smug grin as he scoots in line next to one of the boys in your group, Kenji. 

Mitsuri peers at you from her table, glancing back at Sanemi. Something seems fishy, she just can’t put her finger on it. Before this month you were complaining about seeing him again and now you two appear to be chumming again. Did something happen that you weren’t telling her? She pouts, nuding Kyojuro. “Do those two seem friendlier?” She asks in a hushed tone. Kyojuro furrows his thick brows, humming as his gaze flips between his white-haired friend and you. He’s about to tell Mitsuri she’s off her rocker, but he catches Sanemi throwing a look back at you while you are otherwise occupied with kiddos sitting down next to you. 

Kyojuro turns to Mitsuri, concern written all over his face. “Yes,” He hisses and now Mitsuri is concerned you may have ingested a little too much alcohol trying to help her out.

After a couple of minutes, Sanemi places a tray of vanilla pudding, tater tots, and chicken tenders with honey mustard sauce in front of you. “M’lady.” He grins, slipping onto the bench across from you with a tray of his own. Hana smacks Sanemi’s arm and he peers down at her with a surprised look. “What was that about Hana?” He questions, holding onto his arm where she hit him. 

She puffs out her lips and points at you angrily. “Mister Sanemi, we just went over this. Miss YN is not your lady.” She crosses her arms glaring at him. His brows shoot up, giving you a look of amusement before patting Hana’s head.

She looks like she might bite him at first, but then she leans into his hand. “Only because Miss YN keeps rejecting me..” He smirks at you. Ha! As if!

You roll your eyes, but gather the attention of your tables. “Let’s sing my favorite camp song!” You lead them in the Camp Maple fighting song that ends with chanting the name of the camp. “Wake me up wake me up we’re going to camp! I can’t wait I can’t wait we’re going to camp! There it is there it is we’re going to camp! Which one which one!? C-A-M P…M-A-P L-E!” They seem to enjoy every second of it, mainly because they get to scream as loud as they can. Sanemi meets your gaze for a blissful second before you busy yourself with your food, biting into one of the chicken tenders. Delight rumbles from your chest as you swallow the meat. 

Sanemi can’t help but watch you stuff your face. On one hand, he’s amused by how you still enjoy the simple things in life. On the other hand, he’s concerned when his heart races at you picking up the vanilla pudding. Being the heathen you were, as a child you’d just eat it with your finger. You claimed you could get more out of a cup if you used your finger. He grips onto the bench, gritting his teeth as you follow suit, sticking your pointer finger in. The creamy pudding sits there momentarily before you pop it into your mouth. 

It’s a simple, innocent – completely fucking innocent – motion, but his thoughts shift to something more warm than the humidity. Fuck why was seeing you damp with light sweat making him hungry? When you let your tongue swirl around the tip of your finger it drives Sanemi mad. Is he panting? He feels like he’s panting. 

A bit of pudding is on the corner of your mouth, waiting there. His heated gaze mimics how your tongue darts out to collect it. He sucks on his lips, regarding how your plump lips look so fucking delicious right now. 

The only thing that snaps Sanemi out of his daze is Hana plopping a spoon in front of you with a disgusted look on her little features. “You know Miss YN, if you needed a spoon you could’ve just asked.” She grunts, shuddering. Your cheeks flush and for the briefest seconds, you gape, staring into his eyes. Your cheeks flush a vibrant pink and suddenly Sanemi is picking up the spoon and using it in his own pudding. Hana and you both gawk at him, but if he were allowed to feed into one desire this whole time, it would be watching you eat pudding with your finger. Especially if it meant you’d look at him like that again. 

“This is the best pudding I’ve ever had.” Sanemi mumbles and Hana sighs frustratedly. “Something wrong Hana?” He asks. She whips her head toward him with a frown. 

Sanemi has to roll his lips into his mouth to stop from laughing at how cute she’s glaring at him. “Yes, I’m going to have nightmares.” She huffs. Yeah me too, but they aren’t exactly going to be nightmares Sanemi thought. 

Dinner finishes and children run around your feet as you walk out of the mess hall. The short walk back to Caterpillar Circle feels like an eternity with Sanemi walking silently beside you. “Can we wear our pajamas to the campfire!?��� Aoi breezes past you yelling. 

You quirk a brow. “How about we make it a race? Whoever is back at the picnic tables first… wins.” You eye the giddy looks on all of their faces. “Ready? Go!” You don’t expect Sanemi to bolt toward his side of the cabin. Oh, so he’s going to play it that way?

Kids scramble to their cabins, giggling and yelling. You’re also laughing as you quickly swing your door open. You spot the pajamas you’d laid out earlier this morning with a smirk on your lips. The one reason you suggested a race is because you had an advantage. Cheating? No, strategic gameplay.  

You tug your clothes off, and toss them in the hamper beside your desk. A pair of shorts and an oversized shirt later you’re rushing out of the door in your slippers. You glance to your side, grinning mischievously when you don’t see Sanemi coming out of his door. You pump your hand in the air victoriously, spinning around in a mini victory dance. You proudly take your time prancing down the stairs, but when you turn to head toward the picnic tables Sanemi is leaning against the end of one with an amused smirk tugging his lips upward. Your mouth falls open, glancing back at his door. “How…? You…?” You slump in defeat as you reach him. 

He chuckles softly, bumping arms with you. “Your victory dance was pretty cute.” He teases. You glare at him, shoving him back with your side. 

Cute? In what way did he mean that? Sanemi must’ve talked too much with Tengen to pull one of those lines. You mutter a string of curses as you sit down in one of the green plastic lawn chairs. The arms dig into your hips and you grunt uncomfortably, pushing yourself into a less painful position. 

Your thighs are pressed together as you squirm around in the chair and Sanemi finds himself ogling the space where your shorts disappear under your tummy. He wanted to run his tongue along that area while grazing his teeth along your thighs. A lascivious smirk pulls on his mouth as he clears his throat, turning his face to the sky. 

The campfire starts with each kiddo introducing themselves, where they’re from, and three interesting facts about them. After the introductions, you bring out the s’more fixings with a twinkling grin as the kids scream enthusiastically. The night ends with you and Sanemi carrying some of them who fall asleep back to their beds. It was a euphoric space in time, something about today felt so right. Maybe the following weeks wouldn’t be so bad.

❦❦❦❦❦

You were wrong, so wrong. Sanemi stands to your side with his swim shorts on, assessing your outfit. “So… you’re not going to swim?” He cocks his head, quirking a brow. You lean back further into the armless beach chair, crossing your arms over your chest. 

He closes his mouth, glancing at the group of kids playing with water toys in and out of the water. “Nope.” You reply. “Observing from a distance is more my thing.” You continue, sliding your sunglasses over your eyes so you don’t have to squint through the rays of the sun. Sanemi sighs, disappointment finding its way into his mind. 

This morning when he saw you in a camp shirt with jean shorts he was sure you had a bikini on underneath. The only reason he got through a kid screaming about not getting any bacon this morning was the light at the end of his tunnel – you in a tight flattering bikini. “Y’know I knew you weren’t girly, but this is a whole new level.” Sanemi pokes at you, hoping that the fiery spirit within you will shoot out if he bugs you enough.

You glare at him, gesturing to your outfit. “This outfit is very girly I’ll have you know.” Sanemi shakes his head like he doesn’t believe you so you scoot as quickly as you can out of the chair. “Fine, watch the kids. I’ll be right back.” You snap. As you’re stomping back to your room you can’t help but think maybe you acted exactly how he wanted you to. If that was the case, then you’d give him what he wants, but he’ll pay the price. The malicious grin that forms on your lips as you pull out your lavender string bikini is grounds to have you locked away. 

Sanemi throws a beach ball at a group of the boys in the face as they giggle. In the back of his head is a flurry of lewd images of you spread out on that damn beach chair with a revealing swimsuit on. The boys throw the ball back at him and it plinks against his chest. He shakes his head, reaching for the ball as the boys groan. Fantasies of you were a distraction so he couldn't even imagine what the real thing would do to him. “Woah…” He hears one of the boys whisper. He glances up, met with the heavenly picture of you walking down the bank in a light purple string bikini that laces across your front. The cups are simple triangles with a string wrapping around the back of your neck for support he would only suppose. The bottoms rise above the roundness of your hips, showing off the fullness of your body. Damn, his mouth felt dry as he can’t tear his eyes away from you. 

His stomach was a trainwreck of emotions, the ball long forgotten by Sanemi. He blinks rapidly, trying to get you out of his eyes, but it was damn hard when you slowly lay back down on the chair, crossing your ankles over each other. He can see the side of your ass and for a beat, he feels like he might lose control. Then one of the boys throws the beach ball at him, it smacks against his face. This was torture. He expected you to look good, but the thin fabric allowed him to see the indent of your nipples – a vivid image he was never going to forget. 

You smirk while lounging in the chair, studying the way Sanemi’s mouth falls open ever so slightly. It was a strange sense of gratification that he was so enraptured by how you appeared in the bikini. Almost like you were happy he was gaping at you, a fire lit behind his eyes that ignited something in your chest. If you weren’t careful you were bound to let it out at some point. 

Since you were lost in your thoughts you hadn’t noticed Sanemi stalking up to your side. You squeak when he appears next to you, dropping a towel over your exposed skin. You glare up at him through your sunglasses. “Did you walk out of every boy’s fantasy?” He grumbles, running a hand through his damp hair. 

Clicking your tongue, you toss the towel to the side and sit up in the chair. “Does that include yours Sanemi?” You inquire, pushing your sunglasses up through your hair. He stares at you for a while, mulling over what kind of response to give you. 

Suddenly, he scoffs and turns his back to you. “Yeah. Yeah it does.” You swallow hard at his confession, the sun’s heat no longer feeling as hot. You scoff, leaning back into the chair. He gives you one last glance before running back to play with the boys in the water. 

Was he being serious? He couldn’t have been…right? It wouldn’t make sense for Sanemi Shinazugawa, the guy whose seen you eat a bug, to have a fantasy – or whatever he meant about you. The confusion made the victory bikini less fun. 

At dinner, the kids are enraptured in a conversation about tomorrow’s canoe outing in the afternoon. This might seem silly, with you being a sleepaway camp counselor that has a giant lake as its main attraction… but you never learned how to fully swim. You can keep your head above water if you’re able to touch the bottom. It's something you haven't mentioned to anyone due to the fact you would die of embarrassment. “How quickly can you go Miss YN?” Hana’s eyes are pleading with you to answer her inquiry. 

So you smile, despite the obvious anxiety of where this answer might lead you. “Faster than Mister Sanemi.” You reply, jerking your thumb toward the white-haired male sitting a bit further down from you. 

He perks up at the mention of his name, meeting your eyes. “Did you just say you’re faster than me?” He laughs, scooting down to sit across from you. Hana nods ecstatically before you can brush off the challenge dripping from his voice. 

You sigh, shaking your hands in front of you. “Of course not. I wouldn’t dare reveal the truth about you being a slowpoke.” You tease. Sanemi quirks a brow, letting his eyes look you up and down. The simple motion makes your muscles tense with a buzzing sensation. 

He hums to himself, leaning back with a shake of his head. “I bet you can’t win in the beginners' course against me.” Sanemi smirks, the boys around him snickering. 

Your eye twitches at the smug look on his stupid face. You clasp your hands together, smiling with gritted teeth. “You’re on Shinazugawa.”

That was your second mistake of the week as you shakily got into a canoe the next morning dressed in a white shirt and comfortable black shorts. The kids were fine with pushing off the hike to another day to witness this extraordinary event. Sanemi is grinning victoriously already. It makes you want to slap him with the paddle you’re holding. “Ready?” He asks. 

The grip you have on the paddle tightens as you nod curtly. “Ready as I’ll ever be.” You respond. Sanemi nods to one of the kids who starts a countdown before they all scream GO! Everything is going fine until you reach the turn. Sanemi is already far ahead of you and this becomes more of proving you can do it to yourself than winning against that smug bastard. 

With the paddle dipping into the water you manage to turn around the flagged buoy, children cheering your name. Your heart nearly explodes with happiness at the accomplishment. You make it a few more feet before you get too overzealous and the canoe starts to flip. As you crash into the water you knew you’d just have to flip yourself back over to – well, not drown. But something goes wrong and you slip out of the canoe, into the deep end of the lake. Murky water crowds your vision and a few thoughts crowd your mind. 

Will you get out of this alive? Is this some sort of divine intervention about how you’ve been previously living your life? Was this your canon event? You’d laugh at that one if you weren’t still sinking to what felt like the depths of the lake.

Would your mother even care? Okay, that one stings, but it’s something you think about a lot. When you’re driving and have one of those intrusive thoughts about wrecking. Would she care? Noticing a creepy person walking behind you at night. Would she come to your funeral? And now, as you lose the will to breathe. Would she remember what you smelt like, sounded like, looked like? 

Sanemi crawls out of his canoe, raising his hands in victory. He turns around to gloat in your face, but he’s met with your canoe upside down. You are nowhere in sight and after a second of you not popping back up, Sanemi frantically dives into the water. Where are you? His hands glide through the water, searching for any sign of your body. Where are you? Water fills his ears, only making the pounding in his chest louder with each stroke of his arms. He breaches the surface, gasping for air and twirling around to see anything – anything that would lead him to you. “Mister Sanemi! There!” A child screeches, pointing to the front side of your canoe. 

He plunges back in after taking a large gulp of air. He will find you this time. He’s not scared anymore. Not like all those years ago. He couldn’t lose you, not like this.

Amid some plant life is your floating body. If Sanemi were above water he thinks he’d cry with joy. He quickly moves toward you, scooping you up and pushing both of you toward the surface. Please please please don’t be too late. Sanemi’s mind is whirling with anxiety and his heart is pounding with the lack of oxygen. You both break through the surface, Sanemi pulling you along with him to shore. He deposits your limp body on the sand, panting and scanning for any sign of injury. 

You’re not breathing. Damnit. Sanemi’s jaw ticks as the children rush toward him. “Mister Sanemi give her CPR!” Hana yells, stomping her foot and mimicking the pushing rhythm he should be performing on you. He wipes his mouth, nostrils flaring as he slides to your side. His insides were twisting in unbreakable knots, squeezing his lungs of all air.

He pinches your nose and lowers his mouth to yours. “You can yell at me later,” He breathes quietly before connecting his lips to yours. As he pushes air through your lungs his lecherous mind drifts to how very wonderful your lips feel against his. They’re wet and taste like lake water, but they’re so damn soft. After a few more blows he worriedly looks at your chest. He doesn’t want to break your ribs, but if he has to in order to save your life – he’s going to.

Luckily, you chose now as the moment to gasp in air and then start hacking up lake water. Your eyes wildly scan your surroundings, locking onto the man hovering inches from your face. You squirm away from him, coughing into your hand. Sanemi and the children watch you with concern-stricken faces. You touch your throat gingerly, meeting the swirling lilac gaze of the male in front of you. “You saved me,” You croak out as it all falls into place, furrowing your brows. 

Hana pops into your view shaking her head. “Took him a long time to kiss you!” She yells, an annoyed pout on her lips. You glance back to Sanemi, his gaze still locked onto you. 

He cocks a grin in your direction which makes your heart swell. “I gave you mouth-to-mouth.” He explains and the worry about you being unconscious for your first kiss with Sanemi – not that you’ll have a first kiss with him – drifts away. The thought of his mouth on yours stays wandering in your head regardless. “Kids, can you hang out in the mess hall while I take Miss YN to the infirmary?” Sanemi questions, the children eagerly following instructions. He peers down at you once they’ve all scurried toward the big building. 

With a grunt, he slides his hands behind your neck and knees, hoisting you up bridal style. You yelp at how easily he holds you against his chest. “Hey, I can walk,” You grumble, glaring at his concentrated expression. He shakes his head, climbing up the bank. 

As he climbs you nearly tumble out of his arms. He cracks a smile, shifting you in his grasp. “Might wanna hold on tighter than that darlin’. Don’t worry, I won’t mind.” 

Begrudgingly you wrap your arms around his neck. The walk to the infirmary takes less than a couple of strides when he reaches the walkway. Shinobu worriedly meets your gaze when Sanemi kicks open the door with his foot. She stands from her desk, hurrying over to his side. “What happened!?” She assesses you with a scrutinizing look. “Put her down on that bed. I need to go get another bottle of aspirin from the main office. Sit tight.” Shinobu huffs, running a hand through her hair before slipping out of the door. 

Sanemi gently lays you on the bed, giving you a scan of his own. You swallow hard, wondering why your body feels so warm despite the brisk ac making your wet clothes stick to you. The way his lilac eyes regard you made something inside of you switch. He’d shown you how deeply he cared for you by saving your life. Granted, any decent person would’ve jumped in to pull you out of the water – but Sanemi looks shaken up. Like he almost lost you. It makes your chest heave, a heavyweight tugging on it as you reach up to touch his cheek. 

His worried look turns to you, a slight wobble in his irises as your thumb strokes the side of his face. “Hey… I’m here. I’m okay. You did such a good job.” You whisper, but yet your voice seems too loud. Sanemi leans into your touch, shutting his eyes as he takes in a shaky breath. 

It was all fun and games until he had to think of a world without you in it. The bottom line is he wouldn’t have a world without you. The grass would shrivel, the color would drain, and sunlight would simply cease to exist. “You should’ve told me you couldn’t swim.” His brows furrow and he opens his eyes to stare into your very soul. “Why didn’t you tell me? I was so worried YN.” He rolls his lips into a thin line, his chin trembling. 

It’s like you lose your breath all at once. This man, the one you thought didn’t have an ounce of compassion for you, was about to start crying because you failed to mention your lack of skill. You bump your forehead against his head, kissing his hairline. “You’re right, I’m sorry.” At your words he jerks away from your head, his eyes wildly scanning your face. Your breath holds tightly in your throat as time seemingly slows. 

Then his eyes fall to your lips and everything in the universe pulls you two together into a soft brush of the lips. Given the state of it, hidden behind a white curtain on the infirmary bed, the kiss felt too precious. Too wonderful. Your hand falls from his face and before you have a moment to give in to whatever was happening, Sanemi pulls away. He shoots to a standing position, turning on his heel. Your body cools instantly. Oh. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have,” He begins, taking a couple of steps toward the curtain. Oh. He quickly glances over his shoulder. “I shouldn’t have done that.” He hisses, then rushes out of the building nearly bumping into Shinobu as she walks back with a pill bottle in hand. She jumps back, eyes widening as she watches Sanemi stalk toward the mess hall. If it hadn’t been for the heat she might’ve mistaken the red on the tip of his ears as something else. 

❦❦❦❦❦

Weekends are set up for the kids to decide what they want to do. It’s a free period within reason. Most of them hang out in groups around the buildings, playing games or swimming. Weekends allow the leaders to get chores done around the campgrounds, like picking up trash, organizing things for the next week, arranging laundry, and supervising more involved things. 

You happened to spend most of the first weekend with a group of girls who wanted to use the craft supplies for next week. Since Sanemi was your co-leader there were times you had to speak with him, which made avoiding him incredibly difficult. 

The thing that upset you the most was even after he ran off, your heart still flutters at just the sight of him. Weren’t you supposed to be the master of your own emotions? It frustrated you to no end how you sought him out in crowds. At first, you tried to convince yourself it was a strategy to avoid him, but when he didn’t come to talk to you somehow your heart sank. 

Before you know it, Monday morning arrives, casting a stormy forecast for the rest of the week. It’s pouring heavily outside the mess hall windows. Fortunately, your group of kids are behaving even though it couldn’t be easy stuck inside all day. Your eyes are drawn to the other group happily stringing beads onto yarn. 

Sanemi sits amongst them with a warm smile on his face, actively trying not to glance at you. He can feel your gaze on him and it was making his heart feel weird, like he’d just run a mile or hiked up a trail. He presses his lips into a thin line, laughing absentmindedly at one of the boys spilling beads everywhere. 

The kiss. That’s all he could think about and it was ruining his life. All night he tossed and turned thinking about knocking your door down so he could do it again. Regret ran through every fiber of his being when he walked away. He thought he’d gotten over his fears, but it turns out that realizing you might have feelings for your good friend is not the easiest situation to be in. He was in a panic, fucking terrified you would hate him for kissing you. He didn’t even ask you, it just happened. What kind of scumbag was he? 

He groans, turning to face away from you. You huff, rolling your eyes. Fine, he could be that way if he wanted. He’s the one who kissed you anyway. This was all on Sanemi. Hana nudges her friends Keiko, Mai, and Akane. They all slowly turn to stare at you, then toward Sanemi. Keiko narrows her eyes while tying the knot on her bracelet. “Somethings wrong,” She mumbles, slipping the adorably crafted jewelry onto her arm. 

Mai and Akane nod vigorously. “Why are they avoiding each other?” Akane hisses, glancing back at their other leader. Hana shakes her head, stroking her chin in thought. 

Kenji appears behind the group, causing them all to jump. Mai slaps his shoulder and he giggles. “What’cha talkin’ ‘bout?” He pokes his head in between Akane and Mai’s shoulders. They collectively sigh, rolling their eyes at the annoying boy. 

Hana gestures to both leaders, pinching her brow. “For some reason, Mister Sanemi and Miss YN are avoiding each other.” She explains snappily. 

Kenji pops his head up, glancing at both of you. His mouth forms in the shape of an ‘o’. “Ah, this reminds me of when my mom and dad would fight and then ignore each other.” Hana perks up at his suggestion, slowly turning to look at her friends. 

Mai raises a brow and then grabs a piece of yarn. “There’s only one way to fix this.” She valiantly collects a bunch of green beads to mix with lilac ones. She picks out two heart-shaped beads that sit on either side of a letter in the middle. When she’s done, two bracelets sit in front of her. One has an ‘S’ with two red hearts on either side, followed by a pattern of lilac and green. The other is the same, except in the middle is the first letter of your name. “Matching friendship bracelets,” She holds them up, smiling triumphantly. 

Hana claps her hands together. “Wonderfully done Agent Mai, now let’s give it to them!” She grabs the ‘S’ one from Mai’s hands, running over to your side. “Miss YN!” She yells. “We made this for you!” Without much consideration for your wrist, she shoves it past your hand. 

“Here you go Mister Sanemi!” You turn to see Kenji holding what seems to be the same bracelet in front of Sanemi’s face. A roll of thunder shakes the valley outside and his eyes meet yours momentarily. It sends a shock of emotions through you.

Later that night as the rain plips against your window you stare at your wrist in awe. A growl echoes around your room and it takes you a moment to realize it was your stomach. It almost makes you crack a smile. You would’ve if you weren’t in such a daze as you walk out into the living room area. 

What you don’t expect to see is Sanemi leaning against the counter shirtless, with his sweats hanging loosely around his athletic hips. You swallow, taking your time to rake your eyes up his bare chest. When you end up meeting his gaze his lips tug into a smirk. “Enjoy the view?” He mutters, picking a peach up off the counter. 

Your brows furrow and you cross your arms over your chest defensively. “As a matter of fact, no I’m not.” You snap, scoffing and lying through your teeth. 

Sanemi shrugs, biting into the juicy peach tantalizingly slow. Juices leak from the broken skin, dribbling down his chin as he takes the flesh into his mouth. His tongue darts out to lick up a droplet escaping down the side of the fruit. You gulp as he continues to eat. The noises alone were enough to drive a woman mad, but the fact you were ovulating made everything so much worse. “Want one?” Sanemi asks, licking his lips of all the sticky juice. 

If you were crazy your mouth would fall open, allowing him to put the one he was eating into your mouth. “No.” You grumble, yanking a can of Pringles out of the cabinet. 

Sanemi watches how your ass curves as you stretch to reach into the upper cabinet. “Suit yourself,” He mutters, biting into the peach again. You roll your eyes and march right back into your room, tossing the pringles onto your bed. You ruffle your hair, silently screaming into the night. Fuck that guy for being shirtless. He waltzed around like a whore scrounging for some loose change obviously trying to get a rise out of you. Would the kiss go unmentioned forever? How were you supposed to be around Sanemi when all you could think about was how badly you wanted to jump his bones? You’re absolutely fucked. You grit your teeth together as you glare at the door. But damn did he have such a perfect body. The sweats, the lazy smile, the damn peach he bit into. It was all torture and he damn well knew it.

He wasn’t likely to figure out the full extent of your feelings– hell you didn’t even know exactly what you felt, but if he kept this up you might as well walk around with a neon sign on your forehead that reads I’d like to fuck Sanemi Shinazugawa. Maybe then your mother would pay attention to you. Not that you care.

You glance down at your wrist again, the letter ‘S’ spreading a grin across your face. This was stupid. So stupid. What if Sanemi was still in the other room? Or using the bathroom? What would you do then? You have a pit of desire and you wish Sanemi would clean it off with his teeth. Were you jealous of a peach? Groaning, you slip out of your bottom layer of clothing, discarding it on the floor. Things were getting dangerous. Your thoughts were supplying you with a fantasy world and you were about to become delusional. At least then you wouldn’t have to face the reality of this stupid – well, whatever it was. 

Positioning yourself against the corner of your bed, you spread your legs apart. The cool breeze from the ac hits your damp pussy and the sensation makes you slump against the wall. If Sanemi were between your legs right now he’d probably lick his lips and spread them even wider so he could have full range to lavish his tongue against your sensitive clit. A tiny moan whines from your throat. 

The image drives you to reach between your thighs, hissing when your fingers brush against your clit. His tongue would feel warm, wet, and slick as it laps at your folds. Your fingers plunge deeper, a strangled moan falling from your mouth.

Your breathing pattern stalls, hiccuping as you work yourself into a frenzy – the inside of your stomach feeling gooey and hot. His long thick fingers would slip into your pussy, teasing the entrance where you’d beg for him to fuck you later. He’d smirk, pleased with how you’re so desperate for his cock, for all of him. But he’d make you wait, good girls always wait for permission. You groan – a guttural pleasured groan. It rolls through your chest, cracking into a whimper at the end as you edge yourself closer to your crest. 

It’s like you’re seeing stars with how your fingers feel, you only wish Sanemi were here, ready to please like he usually is. His words and touch always elicit a response from you. He had to know that. What kind of response would he get out of you as he lined the tip of his cock up at your entrance? Making you bed for him to fuck you unconscious. You’d be such a good little slut for him. Taking all of him inside your hungry cunt until he clung to your hips, spilling his seed inside of you. 

A tense pinch of pleasure squeezes your core, crashing through your body with a string of perfectly pretty moans. Sanemi hadn’t meant to listen to you masturbating. It was an accident – he’d come to your door to apologize for allowing you to misunderstand his intentions. His knuckles had brushed against the wood of your door when he heard you gasp. Wondering if you were okay he pressed his ear to the door. Then, his muscles tensed as you purred out a moan. 

Sanemi was a decent man – or so he thought until his hand slips down to his growing bulge. He hisses as you whimper, gasping for air – your bed squeaking with movement. He wants to swing the door open and take in the sight of you sprawled out. What kind of face were you making while moaning like that? More importantly, what were you thinking about? 

You’re whimpering and the glint of the beads around Sanemi’s wrist sends his thoughts spiraling. The very same bracelet he wore on his arm was around yours. It was like he was between your legs, pressing his thumb against your clit to proudly watch you squirm in pleasure. His mouth waters, imagining how you’d taste after cumming. His cock aches to burrow into your wet warmth and stay there forever. 

He presses his forehead to the wood, letting out a tight breath as he strokes his length through the cloth of his sweatpants. If he stayed here any longer it would surely result in him knocking down your door. Not the valiant way he had thought about confessing. Sanemi steps away from your door, cursing under his breath. He holds up his arm, staring at the matching bracelet until he notices the first letter of your name. His gaze slowly makes it way back to the door. Was there an ‘S’ on yours? For his name? His eyes flutter shut, a trickle of possessiveness racking through his body. 

Tuesday is finger painting. The kids each get their own easel and insist you and Sanemi paint with them. The morning ends with Sanemi having paint smeared across his face and you with splotches on your arms. The afternoon is bubble painting, which results in bubbles being blown everywhere. Wednesday is crafting things with clay. You proudly present your monstrosity at the end of the day. Sanemi and the kids try their best to compliment whatever you had created, but you can tell they’re just being nice. 

When Thursday rolls around the kids want to draw and color all day so Sanemi and you make sure they have lots of construction paper, colors, and other supplies. You’re sitting with Hana’s group of friends and Sanemi is across the room with a group of boys, drawing furiously.

Kenji peers down at what Mister Sanemi had drawn. “Hey, that kind of looks like Miss YN,” He points at the stick figure holding the hand of the other one. Sanemi covers the page and shakes his head. 

Kenji somehow manages to push his arms off, grabbing the paper. “Oi! Brat, give that back!” He yells as Kenji runs over to your side. You smile down at him as he hands you the page. 

You cover your heart and your smile grows. “Aww, Kenji did you draw this?” You ask, your voice softening. 

He shakes his head vigorously. “Nope! Mister Sanemi drew you and him holding hands!” You glance up, meeting the flushed face of Sanemi standing over Kenji. His eyes look pleading as you drop your eyes to the drawing again. It did kind of look like you, but that would be impossible. Why would Sanemi draw something like this? 

“YN, listen…” He starts, brushing up against you. Your body stiffens at his close proximity. “I hadn’t finished, I was going to draw the kids in next.” He explains. You wish he would step back from your side because his warmth is driving you insane. 

Kenji giggles as he rushes back to his group of friends. “It wouldn’t matter anyway.” You state, handing the drawing back to Sanemi. “I could honestly care less what you draw.” You smile sarcastically and turn back to your group. Sanemi stands behind you for a moment, his heart yearning to reach out and touch you again – but he doesn’t want to make you feel uncomfortable. He obviously already fucked up when he kissed you, after all you’d been avoiding him. It was best that he kept his distance to figure out how to talk to you and give you space so you’d listen to him.

The next morning you manage to chow down your breakfast before Sanemi enters the kitchen area. In all honesty, you were aware thinking about someone you were mad at while masturbating… wasn’t the best look. You didn’t want to think about the realities of what that meant for you since Sanemi was still being an asshole about the whole innocent kiss thing. The thoughts going through your head last night were far from innocent. 

You’re sitting in a lawn chair, writing down some ideas for today’s craft. The kids had to make puppets and come up with a script to perform in the afternoon. With your group of kids, things were bound to go smoothly. You grin, shutting your notebook and checking the time on your phone. It was almost time for the kids to meet you and Sanemi near the picnic benches. You glare at your cabin, waiting for the white-haired male to step out of his door at any moment. The knob turns and you quickly act like you weren’t blatantly waiting for him. “Mornin’ YN,” Sanemi calls, jogging up to your side. You roll your eyes, glancing at the casually attractive outfit he has on. A pair of fitted black shorts that accentuate the size of his muscular thighs with a loose gray shirt tucked into one side. 

He plops down next to you. “Why were you so late?” You interrogate. Sanemi quirks an easy smirk, eyeing you out of the corner of his eye.

Sanemi props one of his legs over the other, leaning further into the chair. “I had to take a shower,” He begins, raising his brows. “Could’ve used the company.” He cocks his head toward you, his lilac eyes filling with an expression you couldn’t pinpoint. 

Your brows furrow despite the blush spreading across your cheeks. “Scared of showering by yourself just like you’re scared of kissing people?” You snap and his playfulness is immediately wiped off his face. Where were these words coming from? Were you going crazy? The inside voices are becoming the outside voices! It’s too late now to back peddle. You scoff, turning away from him. “Don’t, I know you regret and it’s fine. I just figured you would’ve cut back on the flirting.” You push out of the chair. “I’m not some girl you can flirt with for the summer and then fuck off to wherever, okay? If you’re going to accidentally kiss me then fucking own up to it and talk to me like an adult. You made me feel so uncomfortable because I somehow thought it was my fault. So this whole cool-guy act needs to stop. Until we have a real conversation about what happened I would rather go back to friendly hating each other.” 

As you stomp away Sanemi feels the ‘oh shit’ factor roll through him. While he’d been trying to figure out his feelings toward you, he’d been allowing you to figure it out for him. You assumed he wanted some summer fun and thought better after kissing you, but that wasn’t it at all. Sanemi was falling, so fucking deeply in love with you. He had been ever since you were kids, but as a boy who grew up barely knowing what kindness was, it was hard to seek out those emotions. Now looking back to how he felt when you ran away into the woods that night… he realizes the panic of finding your mother was so you would be found as quickly as possible. No one saw you for a week after that and he’s still not sure what happened, but he knew it wasn’t good. 

He was stronger now and he’d stand up to your demons, slaying them with you by his side. He would protect you no matter what, but right now he had to explain this misunderstanding before it was too late. Kissing you was the best thing to happen to him – accident or not. It made him forget how shitty his life was and how blissful it could be by just seeing you. He’d fucked up.

After cooling off you wandered back to the growing group of children that rush you when they spot you. It makes your heart warm that they’re so excited. Sanemi watches you from a distance and you’re glad he seems to finally be listening to you. 

Leading the kids to the mess hall through the light morning rain is more peaceful than it should be. No one tries to jump in the mud, they stay in between you and Sanemi, walking politely. When you explain in detail what they’re supposed to do all of them get to work using craft paper and whatever was leftover from the week. The morning blows past and suddenly you’re sitting in a seat next to Sanemi as groups of kids put on puppet shows. Some of them make you snort with laughter and others are downright works of art. Then, Hana and her group of friends present their show. A spikey white-haired puppet and one that looks eerily like you pop up into the makeshift theater. 

Your eyes widen realizing what’s going on. “Hi there darling! I sure do love your face!” Kenji yells, playing the white-haired puppet. 

Slowly you and Sanemi make eye contact. “We should love each other’s faces forever. Then love our baby’s faces. Then love our-”

You shoot into a standing position, clapping your hands together. “Okay, that’ll wrap up the puppet shows everyone!” You demand, laughing nervously. What the actual fuck? You whisk around to glare at Hana and Kenji dramatically making the two puppets kiss. “Oi, William Shakespear and Agatha Cristi get over here, now.” You point to the spot next to you and Sanemi. Akane and Mai scurry away with the rest of the kids heading toward the snack table. 

Kenji and Hana meander toward you; pouts puffing out their bottom lips. “Guys, you can’t keep doing this.” Sanemi gestures to the puppets on their hands. “Miss YN and I aren’t some story you can just use willy-nilly. We’re real people with real emotions.” 

A scoffed laugh falls from your lips. “Mister Sanemi has a hard time with emotions anyway, that’s why this show wasn’t even true to life. He would never call someone darling.” You explain dully. 

Hana shakes her head, pointing to Sanemi. “Nu-uh! He called you darling the other day!” She exclaims. You glance at Sanemi and then drag a hand down your face. 

“Hana, this isn’t something you should be concerned with.”

“But we just want you and Mister Sanemi to make up.” She huffs, crossing her arms over her chest. “It’s no fun while you guys are fighting.” Your eyes bulge as she talks. Did the kids care that much? And they noticed? Gosh, that was kind of sweet. 

Sanemi leans forward, ruffling Hana’s hair. “Don’t worry about it kiddo, we’ll work on it.” He glances at you with a slight smile. A sigh rushes through you as you nod in agreement. Kenji and Hana rush off to the snack table to join their friends. You can remember a time when you and Sanemi played pranks on the camp leaders. A growing ache suffocates your next breath. You peek at him, wondering where things went wrong. Part of you was mad that he walked away after the kiss and another part was angry because you enjoyed it so much. No matter what happened it felt like you couldn’t be friends with him. It was like the universe was keeping you away from each other for a reason unbeknownst to you.

When you both get back to the cabin nothing gets talked about. It’s an awful feeling, like abandonment all over again. Sanemi didn’t care enough about you to talk or explain why he kissed you. Everything was so nice until that stupid kiss that you couldn’t stop thinking about. The fact that it was that good, yet lasted about two seconds drives you mad. 

It’s not until Saturday morning as the sky quakes with thunder and heavy rain, that you decide enough is enough. If he wasn’t going to talk to you, then you’d have to take it into your own hands. That was until there was a knock on your outside door. You get out of bed and open it to find Yena holding an umbrella. Her eyes are filled with some sort of sorrow as she blows out a heavy breath. “YN, deary, I need to speak with one of your kiddos. Can you bring Kenji to the main office? His mother is on the phone.” She explains, a sad smile creasing her lips. You nod your head, looking toward the cabin you knew Kenji was sleeping in. 

You look back to Yena, wondering how serious it was for her to be so affected by it. “Yeah. Let me get dressed and I’ll bring him over before 8.” You reply, a cool wash of anxiety coating your insides. Yena nods. 

“I’ll see you then.” She turns to leave, walking out into the downpour. You study her retreating form before shaking off the dreadful feeling that was wrapping around you. After slipping into a comfy pair of shorts and a hoodie you run over to cabin 3. 

Knocking on the door a sleepy boy answers the door. You recognize him as Mikey, one of Kenji’s close friends. “Hey Mikey can you get Kenji for me, please? Tell him to get dressed and meet me out here.” You explain and the little boy shuts the door. 

A couple of minutes later Kenji pops out of the door, eagerly running up to you. He hugs your legs and bounces up and down. “Are we going on a special mission Miss YN!?” He yells, grabbing onto your hand. For some reason your heart aches, sensing something is off.

You bend down to his level anyway, putting on your biggest grin. “We sure are! I needed my bravest soldier to help me on a secret quest.” Your face becomes stern and Kenji giggles, running around in a circle. 

“Don’t worry Miss YN! I’ll protect you! Did’ya know I’m stronger than Mister Sanemi!?” He squeals, punching the air. You stand up, laughing off his comment about your co-leader. All those years carrying you around and taking care of his little brother were bound to build up excess strength. Plus those muscles of his were no joke…

Kenji latches onto your hand again as you walk the path to the main office. It’s not raining as hard as it was moments ago, but thunder still rolls through the sky. You walk him through the main office door, Yena waiting behind the counter with the phone pressed to her ear. She spots Kenji and waves him over. He sends a look at you over his shoulder before releasing your hand to walk to Yena’s side. She hands him the phone and his face instantly drops.

The hands of your past crawl back into your stomach, clawing out anything good and leaving behind gouges of trauma, boiling toward your throat. Kenji’s eyes start trembling as he clutches the phone to his ear. “No! No! You can’t!” He suddenly yells, pushing the phone away from him, sobs flooding from his mouth. You take a step toward him but he angrily glares at you before bursting through the front door. Yena slumps defeatedly against the wall. 

You glance at the door still swinging shut. “Yena, what’s going on?” You inquire softly, terrified of the answer she’d give you.

She looks up, a pained expression taking the light away from her face. “Kenji’s parents are divorcing. His father isn’t going to be there when he gets back.” 

Her words coast around in your brain before you turn on your heel and bolt after Kenji. No, no, please no. The similarities between your past and this moment is laughable as you cut through the trees. Your eyes wildly search for little Kenji, anywhere, somewhere. Thunder claps above your head but you ignore it, traveling further into the woods. “Kenji!” You scream, rain spitting into your eyes. “Kenji please come back!” You yell, cupping your hands around your mouth. You feel empty, yet full of terror. The same way you felt back then when your mother kicked your dad out of your life. The man that would take care of you when your mother got too angry or too drunk. He was gone forever, your protector. Left you to be fed to the monsters your mother harbored. 

You split through a clearing, breathing heavily as the rain comes down with torrential intent. You feel like crying, screaming, throwing yourself off a cliff even, but you catch a glimpse of Kenji’s red shirt huddled up against the hallow of a tree. “Miss YN!” He cries, holding out his arms for you. “I’m scared.” You rush to his side, bringing him tightly to your chest. 

The both of you cling to each other under the cover of the tree, sobbing with the sky. “It’s okay, it’s okay, I’m here.” You breathe, stroking his head. Kenji curls up in your arms, trembling with tiny hiccups. You knew these woods like the back of your hand, but as the rain blurs your vision the realization crashes over you. 

You had no idea where you were.

Sanemi watches the rain from his window, wondering what you were doing right now. He grunts as he slides off his bed, heading through the kitchen area to your door. He knocks lightly, aware that you might still be sleeping. “YN?” He calls out softly, but you don’t respond. He furrows his brows knocking harder. “YN?” His voice is firmer, but yet nothing comes from your room. He reached for the knob, twisting it open with ease. The door swings open revealing your empty room. He glances around, breathing in your scent and trying to push down the excitement of being in your personal space. He moves around your room, heading toward your outside door. He walks through it, feeling the cool breeze of the storm against his skin. 

Where were you? He spots a group of boys sitting outside their cabin. He jogs over to them through the rain, stopping under the cover of their deck. “What’cha up to?” Sanemi inquires, planning on asking them if they’d seen where you went. 

One of them looks at him. “Miss YN took Kenji and we’re waiting for him to come back because he wanted to play games with us.” He explains and Sanemi quirks a brow.

What was that about? “Do you know where?” Sanemi pushes. The same one that was talking to him shakes his head.

“They were headed toward the main office, but I’m not sure where exactly they were headed.” Sanemi thanks the group of boys before running toward the main office. When he swings open the door Yena is sitting at her desk with her head in her hands. She glances up when he walks further into the door. 

Her features soften, a worried expression crossing her face. “Oh Sanemi, thank goodness. I’m so worried.” She rises from her seat, crossing over the carpet to his side. 

A sense of dread hits the pit of his stomach like a weight of bricks. What was going on? Where were you? Why did Yena look so anxious? “What’s wrong?” Sanemi glances around the office, wishing that you’d pop out to surprise him. 

Yena places a hand on his shoulder, turning his attention back to her. “Kenji ran into the woods and YN followed him.” She explains. 

The feeling of concern amplifies as his blood cools. Not the woods again. “When?” He snaps, a strike of lightning illuminating the sky. Yena sighs, glancing at the clock on the wall. 

“About an hour ago,” She trails off, furrowing her brows together. “Sanemi, please, find them.” Without a second thought, he runs into the woods. A flash of when he was younger causes him to halt at the tree line. His heart is beating erratically in his chest as he stares through the trunks of thick forest. He’d been too scared to continue on back then, but you were probably frightened too. Who was he to love you if he couldn’t face your terror? It’s then that he lifts up his wrist to view the matching bracelet. He shakes off his nerves and starts jogging through the foliage.

The rain soaks through his shirt, slicking his hair to the side of his face. He had to find you. Just a week ago you nearly drowned on his watch because of a stupid bet and now you were lost in the woods during a strong storm. Were you trying to test his patience? No… you most likely ran after Kenji because of your inner child. Something wanted to heal that part of you. Being a child was difficult, especially when you were taught that emotions were wrong. 

Sanemi can remember the way your mother screamed as he pulled you angrily by your arm. Her grip left marks on you, red splotches of hatred spanning your tiny arm. She was cursing, screeching about how much of an embarrassment you were, if you loved your father so much then why didn’t you go find him? She was a pure blur of her past demons boiling up into one entity – against her own daughter. 

Now, he would plunge a sword through her heart and save you from the wild beast. Take you away somewhere safe. If only he’d understood more back then. It was all his fault. He had no right to have these feelings toward you when all he caused you was turmoil. Yet, he can’t help but see your smiling face, blushing cheeks, and sparkling eyes. The way you stop to smell the breeze of the lake. How joyful you are with the kids, genuinely caring for them. Your sassy remarks when he got too flirtatious with you. The way your lips felt against his in that blissful moment. He… truly loved you. Every ounce, curve, and flaw. “YN!” He screams, the beating of his heart echoing in his ears. 

Sanemi wants to tell you everything, instead of running to someone else. This was between you and him. He couldn’t last another second without telling you how much you meant to him. “YN! Where are you!?” He’s scanning the treeline, worry creasing his brows. 

You and Kenji still, then look at each other. “Is that Mister Sanemi?” He asks, eyes welling with tears again. You brush your thumb over his plump cheeks, soothing him.

It’s not helpful that your heart picks up its beating rate at the thought. Sanemi had come to find you – well you and Kenji. Regardless, you’re a little too happy about it. “Over here!” You scream, covering Kenji’s ears. 

Sanemi’s heart thumps against his ribcage as he hears you scream back for him. He glances around his surroundings, his eyes finally landing on a hint of red in the distance. “Hold on! I’m coming!” He charges toward the area your voice came from. 

He sees your face, a sloppy mess of tears and wet hair, and he wants to drop to his knees. “Thank goodness…” You whisper, letting Kenji run to hug Sanemi’s legs. His eyes are locked on your every movement, studying if you are okay. 

“We need to get you back, I don’t think you could’ve made it out of the forest.” Sanemi holds Kenji’s hand, waiting for you to start following him. Something holds you back though, a sinking feeling of guilt or shame – you weren’t sure which. 

You had cried and hidden away just like when you were younger. Sanemi didn’t come to save you… he came to prove a point. You were still just that little girl, running away from her problems. You’re silent the whole way back, emotions dancing with thoughts. Yena hugs you and then yells at you for running out without a map. Kenji is sent to get a check-up from Shinobu. Everything feels like it’s underwater, floating past you. Only when you’re in front of your cabin do you snap out of the daze, peering up at Sanemi. “You didn’t think I could make it out on my own…” You mutter. He turns to you, knitting his brows together. “I thought you were there to save me, but you were just there to prove that you could do it. It had nothing to do with me.” Your body feels frozen, numb even. 

Sanemi opens the door to his room. “That’s not it at all. Just give me a moment and we can talk about this later.” He replies, closing his door behind him. Later huh? You didn’t want later. Now was later. 

You rush to his door, swinging it open angrily. “No, you don’t get to walk away. We’re talking about this now.” You snap, taking in Sanemi without a shirt. Why did he always have no shirt on? You halt, mouth gaping. 

He sighs, tossing his wet shirt into his hamper. “Fine, you want to talk, let’s talk. It was careless of you to just run after Kenji like that.” He hisses, motioning to you. “Do you know how worried everyone was? I understand why you did it, but what if something had happened to the both of you? What then YN?” 

You march up to him, poking at his chest. “You don’t understand shit Sanemi! Kenji ran into the forest. What was I supposed to do? Stand there and wait for some big muscley man to go in and find him? I did what felt right and you cannot blame me for that!” Your voice is quaking, on the verge of tears. 

Sanemi scoffs, throwing his hands up in the air. “I’m not blaming you! For fuck’s sake can you stop thinking that everyone is out to get you!? I am not your mother. I care about you and blame myself every fucking day for what happened back then.” Wow. Did he really just bring up your mother? A tormenting ache twists your gut, sucking up any energy you had left.

His nostrils are flaring and your body buzzes with a newfound heat. It’s anger, it’s sexual frustration, and its adrenaline all wrapped up into one. “Yeah well, you have a real funny way of showing how sorry you are. It’s so funny how you can kiss me one day and then act like nothing happened the next.” You laugh tightly and watch as his brows shoot up.

A sarcastic laugh bubbles out of his throat. “Unlike you, I don’t face everything head-on. I was terrified after I kissed you, because yes I kissed you. Do you have any idea how confusing it is to realize after all these years that I’m in love with you? Then to realize that I’ve fucked up so massively that there’s zero chance of anything ever happening?” He hisses, rolling his lips into a tight line after his confession. This wasn’t how he pictured telling you, but at least it was out there now for you to hear.

Your body tenses, staring at Sanemi with wild eyes. Love? He was in love with you? It was like a slap in the face and a warm blanket at the same time. “Then fucking change my mind,” You order. 

Sanemi’s eyes widen and his throat bobs with nerves. “Y’know I love it when you get bossy,” He whispers, grabbing your face with gentle vigor. The kiss starts off soft and genuine. Your hands travel into his soft hair, moaning lightly against his lips when his hands find their way to your ass. That’s when something animalistic awakens in the both of you. Sanemi spins you around and walks you back against the wall, pressing his knee between your legs. You groan through your mouth at the lovely pressure. 

His lips work against yours, deepening the kiss into something feral and needy. “God, I want you.” You huff out between a break. You feel a cocky smirk on your neck where Sanemi nips at the junction of your shoulder. All those times you imagined the quick peck between you both was nothing compared to this. Kissing Sanemi was like pouring hot magma onto a frozen lake. Your body was alive with pinpricks of electricity. 

You peer down, shakily watching him explore the planes of your body. This was all too much. He was someone you cherished, someone you hated… someone you – was it possible for you to even love someone? You care deeply for your friends, the kids, and this camp… but love? It's something so deep, so pure that it transcends everything. Did you love Sanemi Shinazugawa or were you crushing on him? The line was thin, but at the same time a cavern impossible to jump over. “Hey hey hey, where did you drift off to?” His voice breaks you out of the daze you were in. Your eyes blink up to meet his, soft and beautiful.

His warm hand reaches up to cup your cheek. “Do you need me to stop? I got caught up in my own selfish desires…” He trails off, looking away bashfully. Huh? Was this gruff man actually…adorable? 

Leaning into his hand you shake your head. “I was just thinking about insecurities,” You laugh, meeting his gaze. Sanemi’s face softens and for once you wish your home life had been different. There were times you were grateful that what happened to you made you stronger, more resilient to people’s bullshit. Spinning it into a postive made you think less about the trauma. Now… you want to be something soft Sanemi can mold with his love. You yearn to fall into his blanketed warmth where somehow you’d be safe. “But I’m better now.” You finish, realizing all at once that it didn’t matter if you loved him, because you could love him. Love was something you were able to feel, eventually, that is. He could teach you. “Sanemi, I really like you… do you think – do you think we could continue kissing?”

An airy laugh blows through his nose as he guides you into a sitting positon on his bed. “M’course, just let me know if you want to stop.” His eyes light up micheviously, bending down to peck your lips teasingly. He sinks to his knees, sliding his hands down your outter thighs. 

Sanemi was never someone you thought would stun you into silence, but as his gaze drops to the apex of your legs it suddenly becomes hard to speak. “What? Got no smart ass response?” He glances smugly up at you, rolling his tongue over his lips. Instead of replying you spread your legs apart for him. Your action brings his longing attention back to your clothed pussy, which clamps on nothing. “Mmm, I guess your body can do enough speaking,” He hooks a finger into your shorts, pulling them down your waist. “S’pretty.” He hisses, reveling in the way your panties cling to the dampness of your cunt. “All mine,” He’s muttering to himself like a mad man and maybe he was, but it brings a flush to your cheeks. 

You squirm to fling your short to the side of his room, wiggling out of your underwear next. He watches like he’ll die if he looks away. “Sanemi I can’t hold back, please, I need you to do something.” You give him enough room to stay between your legs. His smirk worries you only slightly.

He stands, the girth of his cock outlined in his pants. “Just remember you asked for this. We’ll have plenty of time to take it slow later, but right now I can’t wait anymore either.” His eyes are a dark brooding purple as he slips the belt out of its loops smoothly. It’s one of the hottest things you’ve ever witnessed. Your childhood friend was about to fuck your brains out and the fact that you’d been fighting only made the tension in the room that much thicker. 

Sanemi’s cock is longer than anyone you’d been with before and you can’t seem to look away from it. How the head weeps and is blush pink with untouched desire. He’s barely holding on, but the weight of reality slaps you across the face. “Do you have a condom?” You quip and he freezes. His cheeks blush as he glances at his nightstand. 

“Can’t think why I wouldn’t pack condoms coming to a job where I’ve never had sex before…fuck. I can stop if you want to, I wouldn’t dare-”

“Sanemi, I could care less. Right now all I want is you. We’ll figure it out together.” You grab the back of his neck to bring him in for a kiss. As his lips work against yours he lines himself up at your entrance, brushing the head of his cock against the slick of your arousal. He hisses into your mouth as the tip slips into your warmth. A shaky moan echoes through both of you as you push your foreheads together to watch his cock slide into your pretty pussy. 

You blow out a breath, throwing your head back in utter bliss. Sanemi fills you out beautifully, stretching your walls just enough to send shivers up your spine. “You feel perfect…you’re perfect,” Sanemi kisses you, slowly starting to move his hips. The muscles in your stomach tense with a hot iron of pressure. 

“Haa, Sanemi, please,” You begin but he snaps his hips into yours. A loud slap of skin rattles through his room. Your eyes go wide and a sharp gasp pushes through your body. 

He grins over you, sliding back on his knees and bringing you with him. “Mmm, shh babygirl, m’gonna take care of you.” He strings your legs over his hips, rocking you on his cock. 

Moans burst from your mouth as you cling to his neck. “F’ Sanemi,” You gasp, his cock plunging deeper into your pussy than the previous postion. 

“That’s it, let go pretty girl,” Sanemi burrows into you, a fucked out grin coating his lips. You feel like you’re almost split in two, but the sting bleeds into a sharp pleasurable throb. It radiates through your core, spreading tingles across your skin. Your head lolls to the side a bolt of electricity twisting around your stomach, coating it in the crashing waves of your climax. You’re both panting as Sanemi fucks into you, gripping your hips onto him. 

The overstimulation makes you squirm on top of him, but he chaces his own crest, finally finding it when you grip the back of his head, fisting his hair. Warm cum coats your insides, Sanemi gently laying you back down on the mattress. You feel gooey inside, but there’s a silent happiness that brings a smile to your face. 

“Fuck, I’m so sorry, I promise next time I’ll last longer- I, I…shit let me go get you a rag.” Sanemi pushes himself up on his elbows but you caress his cheek, calming the anxious glaze in his eyes. 

“No, stay.” He’d finally found you… and you weren’t about to let him out of your sight for a long long time.  

[saintsgrrl]

bro istg I'm getting way too stressed

[mysticficti0n]

hey girlie I have a question!

sooo I rlly rlly love ur writing and literally I read most ur stuff every night 🤭 but I was wondering maybe if you could write one about Colby Brock.... and just any idea but like I rlly want to see what you could do

from

Bun

I do not mind one bit! I grew up watching Sam and Colby so ofc!! For this I am gonna make up a place because I feel like it heheheh but this is my first Colby fic so don't judge pretty please <3 Ive tried my best and checked for mistakes and hopefully there's none (or very little)

Haunted house

･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆

warnings- ColbyBrockxFem/Reader, swearing, mentions of death, death of children, fire, hanging, fluff/teasing, Y/H/T= your home town, smut!! kissing, smut, P in V, no protection,

words- 10k (sorry ☹︎)

"sooooo are you gonna come tomorrow?" Sam asked me over the phone, it's Halloween tomorrow and he, Colby and some friends had been working really hard the whole of October and decided on the 31st they wanted to do a haunted house sleepover, and this house was in the middle of fucking nowhere, 4 hours away, and miles from the nearest town "because we need to leave like... 9am ish tomorrow to get there in time to meet the owners" I waited a few seconds mentally reviewing my life and really asking myself I wanted to do this

"umm- yeah okay" I agreed and already regretted it "I'll walk to yours and be there for like 8-8:30?" Sam made a noise as if he was talking to someone else then made a huh sound to me "I said I'll walk to yours-"

"ohh- Colby said he can grab you but you'll have to go to the store with him"

"okay no problem, what time though?" Sam said 8am so I set my alarm for 6:30, enough time for a shower, get ready, pack then get in the car with Colby, our conversation continued until another voice interrupted telling the boy he needs to get ready "alright then, see you tomorrow"

"Bye-Bye" he sung and the phone cut. Tomorrow was about to be very interesting...

BEEP BEEP BEEP

I opened my eyes to find my room dark, and my phone reading 6:30am "ughhh" I groaned rolling out the warm covers and slowly made my way into my bathroom, I switched the light on and then put the shower on, turning the heat to the warmest it could be, sleepily I pulled my clothes off and jumped into the shower humming as the water washed over my skin. My morning went quick, at one point it was 7am and I need to still pack and now its 8am and my front door is being knocked because Colby is already here "shit shit shit" I chanted quickly stuffing chargers, torches, batteries and whatever else I could quickly grab before I sprinted to the door "morning!" I panted

"good morning, you okay?" he laughed putting a hand on my shoulder

"fi-fine yeah" I smiled standing to look at him properly "you good?" he nodded walking in "I've just gotta put a few last things in my bag, wanna come sit in my room?"

"oooh" he cooed, I slapped his arm as we made our way to my room, he walked in and quickly jumped onto the bed that was freshly made and crumpled the sheets which I made a face to, a cheeky smirk painted the tatted mans face as he shuffled creating a larger mess "you excited?"

"oh yeah- cant wait" I sarcastically answered grabbing my card "how like- bad is it?" I asked which I probably shouldn't have with the wide smile that crept onto the mans face

"well its known to have had 6 people hang themselves in the attic, two of those were children like 10 years old" my stomach sank, eyes widened "i'm kidding! only one 10 year old was hung" I sighed again regretting agreeing to going to this place and mentally slapping myself

"you're not helping the nerves I have right now" he laughed lying himself back, grabbing a pillow to go under his head "what are you grabbing from the shop?"

"water, snacks, any like little bits we need, plus were not filming it so we don't need much, oh and Amanda is coming, you guys will get on great" I smiled, I had seen Amanda in a few videos with the guys before and she seems really fun and interesting to work with as she's a medium

"okay well I'm ready now" with a breath he stood, fixing my bed and giving the pillow a slap to make it 'comfy', I pulled my little suitcase of the bed and onto the floor to follow me

"you'll love It once were there" Colby spoke grabbing my bag off me, carrying it down the stairs and walked to his car to put it in his trunk as I locked my door

"I've been told that one to many times" we shared a look before a laugh spilled from both of us

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The shopping was done, some water, crisps, and some lollipops, I sat myself in the front and waited patiently for Colby to get back in "oh another thing- one of the spirits at this place has a thing for touching girls backs and leaving like little bruises"

"great! gonna get molested by a ghost man" I grinned sarcastically looking to the dark haired boy "as long as I don't get like pushed down stairs or something I'm good-ish"

"well-"

"ugh" Colby laughed starting the car, sending me a quick smirk before we drove back to his house. It was a quiet drive, only the radio playing some songs, and the noises of traffic around us, It was defiantly the calm before the storm tonight.

We arrived at the house and went inside, I saw Sam and a blonde sat on the sofa talking but quickly stopping as we entered "Ayyyy she's here!" the man called holding his hands in the air "Amanda this is Y/n, Y/n this is Amanda" I looked to the girl

"hey how are you!" she asked sending me a warm smile, she was really pretty, dressed in a white knitted jumper, blue skinny jeans

"hi i'm great, how're you?" she looked a little taken-back but still with a smile

"Oh you're British?" I nodded "ohh- where are you from?"

"Y/H/T (if you're not from England just chose somewhere to be from), grew up there then moved to Kansas when I was like 14" she smiled and looked back to Sam, I turned to Colby who was stood leaning up the door way staring back to me "what?" I mouthed and he shook his head with a smile

"right guys, we need to leave like in 5 minuets, it's a 4 hour drive- and I have to drive" he groaned "who's sitting in the front with me?" I watched as Amanda quickly placed a finger onto her nose "Amanda is sat with me then!" she grinned grabbing her bag

"Looks like were together then" I said looking to the dark headed man still behind me, he giggled before quickly hurrying away to the stairs and went up, he's so weird sometimes "okay before we go ima go for a piss" Sam threw me a thumbs up and I went to the bathroom. I finished and washed my hands, I looked into the mirror and stared at my make-up, I hadn't put much on but my lips looked slightly chapped so I pulled out my lip gloss and swiped it onto my lips, with one last look I walked out and was met with the blue eye gaze of Colby

"that for me?" he looked to my lips and back up

"of course" I smiled, biting my lip jokingly, I walked past hitting his shoulder slightly, but the feeling of his grip on me pulled me back to be in front of him, I turned to look to his face but he nodded to his free hand, the one not still holding my other hand that was gently drawing circles on with his thumb, I looked to his hands and saw him holding something "whats that?" he opened his palm and revealed two cross necklaces

"one for me and this one is for you" I smiled at the gesture taking mine from his hand and putting it into my pocket, but that made me think- how bad will this place be if I need to wear a cross...

"right come on were going!" Sam called and hurriedly I grabbed my bags to now put in his Tesla, we didn't all have that much, just some extra clothes, food, drinks, and equipment for the investigations we'd be doing, everything was in and I climbed into the left side of the car, fastened my belt and took off my shoes getting comfy, Amanda got in after me and turned to me passing me a bag of something

"try one!" she offered, my hand dipped into the purple bag and pulled out a yellow boiled sweet "mango and passionfruit" my eyes widened at the tase, it was great

"holy shit" I laughed "please tell me you have another bag?"

"I have three- they're my favourite sweet in literal world" we high-fived in agreement and she sat back into her seat, the boys joined us, Sam in the front, Colby with me. As the car turned on some random song began to play which Colby let a huff out, throwing his head back in some sort of protest

"Dude put something good on" he complained "put- Christina Aguilera on" Sam flicked his head back to his best friend who just shrugged

"why her?" he asked with a confused grin

"first name that came to mind" Soon the sweet voice Christina came on and our journey began, I went into my pocket pulling out my phone, flicked onto snapchat and quickly felt my phone pulled from my hands and Colby turned the screen to him "pose bitch" he yelped, I quickly sat forward putting my hand on his shoulder and my head rested next to his, he thew up a peace sign and the picture was taken "I look so sexy"

"sure you do" I sat back feeling the gaze of him fall on me, crossing my legs and letting my head fall back "so whats up with this place? I asked this dickhead and he told me basically people hung themselves and me and Amanda might get touched by a ghosty man" the group laughed before the girl in front turned to me

"okay so the house is called Elgor Manor House, it was passed through around like six generations of the Sails family, the one of the last known member of the house walked out to find a women stood at the gates, she said she had red-ish eyes, very boney and long dark hair yelling it was on fire, and when she turned around she saw smoke and flames eating the house, she ran in to try find her children and they were found in the hall crying pointing to the attic, she supposedly ran up and found the attic door open and matches up there- her husband Charles Sails had done it" I nodded taking in all the information "Charles was known to have some mental issues... so assumed, but she said when she saw him, his eyes were black, skin very white, and his shirt was ripped open and where his heart was a huge red mark was there, like as if he'd been clawed. Cherrie, the mom then just ran out with her children but sadly- 3 out the 5 died but when she got out the women wasn't there but Cherrie believed it was a saviour as without that women she would've been able to save the children she did despite her appearance being quite devil like- thats what she told the newspaper anyways, and then she died about a year later; Charles was never seen again so he was told to be dead, and then the 2 children she escaped with both were mysteriously shot two days apart the day after their mothers death" my jaw dropped "all under 18 years old too" I couldn't believe what I herd, and Amanda just nodded

"fuck- when did that all happen?"

"1926, but thats not even the weirdest bit, Charles' great granddad, Stephan Sails was told to always let the children start fires around the land as if they got out of hand many times it resulted in some servant dying and never landed back on him, there's still a tree there thats all ashy, but anyways, the way he died was getting into the attic, and then there was a fire, and when they found his body- even though he was so badly burnt- there was a huge red mark over where his heart was" Sam added, pulling to a stop at a light "the odd thing is though, so many people died in that attic, Charles, Stephan, the other 4 and then one of those were a girl named Marlie, from what we know she was about 10 and was Stephans Grandmothers sister, and she was found hanging off the 6th rafter with a rope, wrapped 6 times on her neck, and 6 of her toys surrounding her, and one of those toys still remain in the house after the fires and over about 200 years" I sat astonished, no words able to leave my mouth

"so 6th rafters, 6 times around her neck and 6 toys around her? could this mean something maybe... took over her? because well 666 is the devils number" Amanda agreed sending me a knowing look "holy shit" I breathed

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"anyone hungry?" Sam asked looking back at everyone "there's a McDonald's over there" we all agreed to go grab something to eat, we still had a while to go till we got to the house anyways, the blonde pulled into the car park and all got out. The four of us walked in and went straight to the touch screens

"whats everyone having?" Colby asked, Sam quickly chose his food and Colby went after him, Amanda went next then me "ooh they have ice cream" he hummed in a childish tone, clapping his hands excitingly

"shall we all get one?" I asked and everyone nodded, so I added 4. I grabbed the receipt, me and Amanda stood waiting at the counter for the food while the other two went to find a table

"so how did you get to know the boys?" she asked

"oh I joined there school when I was 14, so... freshman year? because I had just moved from Y/H/T to Kansas because my mom got a job there, and I was in a few lessons with Colby but I was mostly with Sam, and they knew each other because of band that they were forced to do, then we started talking more and more until I found out we didn't live that far apart, started going to Sam's more, Colby was there a lot and then yeah, just stayed being their friends and we all moved here together but I bought a little place like 5 minuets away" she nodded, grabbing the one bag of food while I grabbed the two trays of drinks and ice cream

"to be completely honest when I first herd about you it was through Colby and I thought you guys were together from how he was saying it, he kept smiling while thinking of things to tell me and showed me photos of you, even blushed when I said you were pretty but I can see you two are just like really good friends" we laughed as I shut down the allegations, we were just best friends, every best friend sometimes have little flirty games together right?. We found the guys sat in a window seat laughing over something and me and Amanda sat across from them

"Whats funny?" I asked passing out the drinks

"just watching you two gossip like girls at school" Sam giggled red faced, him and Colby began impersonating us with high pitch squeals, I looked to the girl next to me and we just sighed ignoring them.

We all finished and got back into the car, I flicked my shoes off again and placed my legs over Colby who gave a stare to which I just smiled, placing my hoodie behind my head and laying back "really?"

"mhm" I yawned closing my eyes "feel free to give me a massage" he pretend heaved, but still placed his arms over my legs leaning back himself, the feeling of his rings felt cold against my skin, even through my jeans as he softly rubbed my legs. Slowly my body began to feel lighter, and the chatter and music became quieter.

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"Y/n.... Y/n/n" my eyes fluttered opened to the smiling face of Colby "we're here" he sung pulling me up, I turned to look out the window and saw the sign, a concrete block engraved with 'Elgor Manor' and soon the house came into sight. Sam parked the car and we all got out, a chill ran down my spine despite the warmth of the day. The exterior of the house seemed to loom over us, casting an eerie shadow across the grounds. The structure, though grand, appeared worn and weathered, as if the weight of centuries pressed upon its dark, aged wooden frame.

Massive, gnarled trees surrounded the property, their branches reaching out like skeletal fingers, seemingly trying to grasp onto the last remnants of life. The overgrown bushes and tangled ivy obscured much of the house, adding to its air of neglect and foreboding. The windows, adorned with tattered, moth-eaten curtains. Despite the expanse of land stretching out around the manor, it felt suffocatingly claustrophobic, The overall appearance was not shabby but uncannily surreal, as if the passage of time had twisted the reality of the place. It was as though I had stepped into a realm where the laws of nature and perception bent in unsettling ways.

"woah" I sighed "this is....creepy but beautiful" I spoke looking back to the group, they nodded staring back to the home, soon the noise off tires scraping along the rubble drive appeared behind us, we all turned and were greeted with two people, one walked up, a grin put across his thin lips covered by a white beard, his matching long hair tied into a pony tail, the next to come out was a women, black hair, freckles, and bright red lipstick painted on her lips, with a pearly white beaming smile.

"Hey there!" the man greeted shaking all our hands "I'm Jack, this is my wife Mary and welcome to Elgor Manor" his wife came over shaking our hands again then finding a spot next to her husband "so Elgor Manor, is a very very old house, built around 1798 from what we know, past through many generations of the Sails family but nobody has lived here since 1940's, We found out in about 2020, our friend, Timothy, is actually a distant relative of this family, he was Charles Sails fourth great-grandchild and his great-aunt was the last to own the house-which is now a great new fact we can tell you all" he laughed

"yeah we've herd so much about this place its crazy the history behind it." Colby spoke to the two "We herd about Charles and Stephan"

"Oh oh- they're just the start of it all, its when you hear Marlie's story and her mother Carol-Anne" we all went quiet "you haven't herd about her have you?" we all shook our head no "you'll learn" I gulped, a cold feeling running through me "what're all your names by the way?" Mary asked

"Y/n"

"Colby"

"Amanda"

"Sam" she smiled nodding

"so Y/n, Amanda- you being girls need to be careful tonight, if you go into the back dining room or sometimes in one of the bedrooms there's a man there, his name is Christopher Sails- he was very well known around here for being quiet the player, a playboy you may say in the late 1800" Me and Amanda shared a look, one of slight fear "he's known for touching girls back, leaving marks, and sometimes you may feel your cheeks get warm but then in the middle cold- thats him giving you a kiss... but he is... nice... just be- careful" she sounded slight unsure, I gave a look to Sam who sent me a small unsettled thin lip smile

"well we will get to the tour -we are going to quickly unlock the doors but anyways after that we can take you round!" Jack smiled walking away with his wife, Sam and Amanda went back to the car to grab different bags and I turned back to Colby

"I am terrified" he laughed wrapping an arm around me, giving me a slight squeeze "if I get fucked by a ghost or some shit I'm going home"

"eh don't worry- a ghost wont fuck you" I looked up to the man who smiled back

"who will then?" I hummed walking away from him feeling his eyes follow my moves

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It was time to go into the house, Colby and Amanda went in first and me and Sam followed behind, we walked into the hall and it was grand, gold accents everywhere, two huge mirrors, little objects protected by glass coverings "this part has been restored to how it would've been in 1910's, as you can see lots of gold and dark oak, this rug you see here has been here since 1890 and has been seen to move or make noise like its being slapped against the floor which is what the maids would've done" The couple went into another room, one with green-washed walls, plaster pulling from the walls, two sofas, wooden details decorating the outline, and a TV, we were told about the objects that have been told to move, especially one called Jessies Glass, it was a piece of glass with some spikes coming out

"so this is Jessies glass, so you see all the spikes- this was used agaisnst misbehaving children and staff, either they would stand on It or it was pushed into their backs" Mary commented making all of us do a collective groan "we've had experiences of people hearing screams by children and mostly maids as the heads of the house would usually punish those who didn't do their job right"

We carried on the tour around the house till we reached the last door on the third floor, it was shut, locked and had a sign reading 'Do not enter' I didn't even have a handle "so this is the staircase upto the attic. Obviously where Charles, Stephan, Marlie and others died" we nodded looking back to the ominous door "just- don't go up" we all nodded again and followed the guides down the stairs back to the last room

"think they'll know if we go up?" I hushed Colby who had a playful smirk twitching the sides of his lips "I know we all thought it" he whispered as we walked

We all walked into the dining room and stood around the grand oak table "so see that rocking chair in the corner, thats Christopher's, he's not here right now but That'll start rocking when he's in. He usually -in the day visits the yard, sits in the swinging sofa" all our eyes cast a gaze outside to the yard "mh doesn't seem to be out there either- odd" Mary spoke "well, thats everything, please call if you need anything, keys on the table so yes, just be careful, and respectful"

"thank you" Amanda spoke, the couple said a quick goodbye before leaving us in the house, we went back to our car pulling out all our things: EMF reader, music box, tap torches, spirt box and cat balls, then our things "Y/n wanna stay in one of the rooms up stairs or down here?"

"I think we need to sleep upstairs"

She agreed and the two of us ended up running up two the second floor "which room, Yellow or blue do you think?"

"oh defiantly blue!" as I spoke I herd a dismissive noise from below "what was that?"

"we want the blue room!" Sam yelled coming up the stairs "it's literally the most active, you herd what Jack said- we want it"

"we've already dibbed it" I sassed looking to the blonde

"fuck you" he pouted walking back down the staircase "Colby they're having the blue room"

"NU UH!" the other groaned as a smile crept on mine and Amanda's faces as we placed our things on the bed

"tonight it going to be amazing, do you see anything yet?" I spoke out of interest as I pulled on my hoodie

"no not yet, not even had any feelings either- might just have to wait a bit" I hummed listening to her explanation "why don't we go into the garden, see if Christopher is out there?" quickly we made our way down the stairs and into the kitchen to get to the garden, we stepped out and the warm air hit us, my eyes looked to the swinging seat, it was still.

"maybe we should try sitting there" I spoke making my own way to the cushioned seat, I sat back looking round while Amanda came over, I swayed gently on the swinging bench, my gaze wanders across the garden, taking in the peculiar blend of beauty and eerie ambiance that surrounds me. The garden appears deceptively tranquil at first glance, with an abundance of vibrant flowers in full bloom. Lush, colourful petals dance in the gentle breeze, painting a picturesque scene that should be serene.

The fragrance of the flowers hangs thick in the air, a delightful mixture of sweet scents that should evoke joy, yet there's an underlying sense of foreboding. It's as if the very essence of the garden is intertwined with an unspoken mystery, a silent narrative woven between the petals and leaves. Then I see a pond, the pond, nestled amidst the blossoms, reflects the azure sky above, mirroring the beauty of the day. Yet, despite the shimmering water's surface, there's a certain depth that seems to hold secrets, as if it conceals more than just fish and lily pads beneath.

"its really nice for a place thats meant to be extremely haunted" the girl spoke next to me "maybe... maybe it wont be bad" I hummed relaxing more into the seat

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The time ticked away, 2pm, 5pm and then the time finally hit 9pm "nothings even happened" Sam groaned "we've been around the whole house with all the equipment and nothing this is so stupid" The four of us had sat In the living room, Amanda in the arm chair, Sam, and Colby on the two seater and I sat on the floor flicking through channels on the TV "I mean even you haven't seen anything" he argued, I finally settled on some random sitcom and sat back leaning against Colby's leg for support

"it might just take some time" the brunette behind spoke

"fuck it taking time- we've been here since fucking 1:30 and nothing, I'm calling bullshit" Sam got up from his place and stormed into the kitchen grabbing a water bottle and basically gulping the whole thing muttering some words, I looked back to Colby who gave me a smirk then looked back to the TV

"well I'm gonna go change" Amanda said standing "come?" she gave her hand to me, pulling me up to meet her height, still in hand we began to go up the stairs, running like children to our room "Sam is so pissed off"

"I know, I've never seen him like this" I laughed pulling off my jumper "like he's never this angr-" I was cut my a creaking sound, then a thump "fuck was that?"

"probably the guys?" she spoke walking to the door "Sam?! Colby?!" she called, no response, then another bang- above us

"that was upstairs..." quickly I pulled my hoody back over me and walked out the room up the small crooked staircase, I looked down the hall, Amanda stood close behind me "nothings moved-"

"Y/n- there's a little girl, ran into the door down there" the blondes voice was small "red hair, blue bows, light blue dress" I looked to where she was gesturing to

"that...no- that fucking door is open" my heart sank "we need to grab the guys" the two of us hurried down the first flight of stairs then the second "the doors open!"

"what door?" Colby asked sitting up

"the door with no shitting handle and the don't enter sign" we all shared a look before they quickly came up past us running to the door, I quickly grabbed the Rempod and followed, switching it on so It was ready when we got to the door. I crept up the steps and was met with the back of Colby, I let my arm creep around his waist

"FU-fucking hell Y/n" he breathed turning to look at me, I gave him a quick sorry smile before squeezing past with the Rempod, I walked past the other two and went face to face with the door "be careful" he warned

"If there is anyone here... please touch this antenna" I spoke stopping the conversation between the two blondes , I took a few steps back looking at the machine intensely "we're not here to cause any stress, harm, anything negative- just want to talk" I spoke again. the box began to beep, red light flashing, I took a glance back to the group who's faces lightened "who are we talking to, erm can you touch once for a child, twice for adult" and there again it beeped once

"she's back- behind the door" I looked up facing the door, slowly I went to my knees, holding a warm smile on my face

"hi" I whispered and the box buzzed again "are you Marlie?" everyone went quiet "Marlie Sails?" the Rempod beeped again, I tried to not seem terrified and kept my stance, hands shaking by my sides

"She's gone... I'm guessing up the stairs" I stood going to take a step through the door

"wait" a hand gripped my forearm, I felt all the cold rings press against my skin, the same familiar feeling from earlier in the car "be careful- have you got your cross?" I nodded going into my pocket and pulling out, Colby took the necklace from my grip and gently moved my hair to the side, lifting the dainty metal over my head and clipped it around my neck "okay" I looked back seeing a tent pushed into his cheek, eyes low looking to me, sending me an unspoken message, Slowly, I pulled the door open more listening as it creaked, revealing deformed, water-damaged steps that ascended steeply to the attic. Each step groaned and protested beneath my weight, as if the old wooden structure itself was begging me to turn back.

With each step, the protest of the wood grew louder, a cacophony of distress that reverberated through the dimly lit corridor. The air felt heavy and suffocating, as if the very walls were watching, waiting for my next move.

Reaching the top, a chill slithered down my spine, instantly sending shivers across my skin. The attic lay engulfed in darkness, besides the faint glimmer of moonlight that seeped through a small window, casting elongated shadows that danced along the floor.

I squinted into the darkness, my eyes adjusting slowly. Shapes emerged, barely visible in the dim light, and among them, the faint outlines of rafters became visible. Counting softly, my voice barely audible in the oppressive silence, "One, two, three, four, five... six." My gaze fixed on the sixth rafter to my right, the very beam from which Marlie's life had been stolen. As I extended my hand to touch the wood, a shiver of uncertainty coursed through me. "You were so young," my voice quivered, barely louder than a whisper. "Why?" The words hung in the air, swallowed by the quietness of the attic.

A sudden change in the atmosphere sent a wave of warmth around me, a stark contrast to the chilling aura just moments before. My hair prickled on the back of my neck, standing as if trying to flee the unseen force that enveloped me. "Is... is that you, Marlie?" I stammered, my voice faltering as the air grew thicker, charged with an otherworldly energy.

"Y/n? everything okay?" Amanda called, I turned my head to look down the staircase where her voice was coming from

"can you come up?" I asked and herd the quiet steps coming up the stairs and then the face of the blonde girl appeared, her smile quickly dropped "what?"

"the little girl is down there- by the window" I turned my head looking to the window, it seemed blurred unlike before "she's looking directly at you"

"H-hi Marlie" I spoke "how are you?" I felt my stomach flip, my head going misty "does she look- happy?" I asked and Amanda looked back her eyes flicking around the girl

"she seems- okay? not happy but not anything else, almost emotionless, I...oh" my head went back to Amanda who seemed worried herself "she's gone"

I felt a cold chill run through my body as if something walked through me "shit" I spoke feeling my body quiver "shall we go back down?" I asked seeing Amanda's shadow nod, we began back down the staircase, we left the last step and looked to the two boys who stood silent looking to us "she was up there"

"I've never seen something like that- so....so clear" Amanda breathed scratching her head

"Marlie?" Sam asked and we nodded "woah- maybe we should take the spirtbox up, or at least stand here and do it, maybe she could speak?" we all agreed, Sam hurried down the stairs to the first room grabbing the things

"I need a drink before we do this" Amanda spoke looking to us "you guys want one?"

"please" I spoke looking back to the door, the girls footsteps wondered away leaving me and Colby again "this is crazy"

"Are you alright?" His words were barely audible, whispered with a gentle concern that wrapped around me like a comforting embrace. His arm extended slowly, encircling my waist and drawing me closer. I hummed softly, shifting my gaze toward him "you had me worried going up there" and a wave of reassurance washed over me as I met his eyes. There, I found a small but warm grin gracing his lips, instantly soothing my unease and bringing a sense of safety and care. Our eyes met, his piercing blue ones looking into my Y/C/E, Our breaths seemed to halt as we watched each other, our faces inching closer and closer, my heart stopped, falling but in the best way possible "can I-"

"Y/n grabbed you a water" hurriedly we pulled away, turning to see Amanda holding three waters, and Sam not far behind "have you felt anything since?" she asked handing my the bottle, I couldn't tell her the hot feeling that ran through my body was because I was close to kissing my best friend of 13 years

"er- no, nothing" I answered quietly pulling away from the man next to me to grab the bottle

"mh strange" she spoke

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The four of us now sat in a small circle as the clock struck 3:30am, little tea lights surrounding us, the spirit box in the middle "anyone wanna do the Estes method?" Sam asked

"can I try?" I wondered seeing everyones eyes flick to mine

"are you sure?" Colby said, I nodded picking up the blind fold and bringing it to my eyes, I held it behind me and faced my back to the brunette boy, he took the silky material out my hand, slowly he tied the knot and it tightened to my head "okay here are the headphones" he put the pair in my hands and I put them on, the static noises filling my ears almost defining me, I kept listening waiting for some words

"up..........tight..........sick..........momma..........help me..........waiting..........Rosa..........Dining room..........blue..........you..........Samual..........ten..........no care..........duck..........help..........kill..........he did..........made me..........devil man..........father..........fire" My breath began to pick up, chest heaving up and down, my body rocking trying to catch breath, 'he made us die' voices breathed into my ear I ripped the headphones from my head, pulled the material from my eyes "fuck that" I shuffled back from my place clutching the sofa behind me

"what what happened?" Sam looked to me with slight panic in his eyes

"something- something whispered 'he made us die' in only the left ear- and it was like multiple voices said it" I cried, eyes filling with tears "like a little girl and loads of others too but I could hear her the most"

"we do think it was Marlie we were talking to a lot" Amanda said gently, my lip kept quivering, I couldn't stop it was all to real "I saw her twice, peaking around the door" I smiled weakly

"need a break?" Colby spoke, I nodded I really needed some air, I got up walking to the front door and stepping out onto the porch, I let myself hang over the railing catching my breath while wiping away the tears that kept falling down my cheeks, I looked out into the pitch black landscape "drink?" I freaked turning to see the tatted man holding my water bottle

"thanks" I breathed taking a sip "that was terrifying" the warm feeling of his hand cupped my back, standing closely behind me, comforting me after the fright. I sucked another breath and leaned into him resting my head on his shoulder

"every question we asked got answered you know- but at one point you started rocking and...eh doesn't matter" I looked up to him, questioning him with my eyes "I was gonna grab you but didn't wanna ruin the experiment... yeah the experiment " he answered avoiding my gaze

"mh, maybe you should next time" I followed looking back to the darkness

"only if you let me" he whispered into the shell of my ear making my body go from freezing to burning

"maybe I will" I teased, I turned to meet his gaze, a smile teasing the corners of my lips. "So, what were you going to ask me earlier, upstairs?" I inquired, leaning in slightly, feeling a rush of excitement as Colby's head fell closer to mine, our breaths meeting in the air between us. Our lips were tantalisingly close, the anticipation crackling like electricity, a teasing tension building with each passing moment.

"you really wanna know?" I hummed, nodding my head gently "I was wondering if maybe I could-" before he finished his sentence another person walked out

"oh should I" Sam coughed, we tore apart going away from the sides of each other "erm me and Amanda are gonna go to bed its like 4 am so" I pulled my jumper straight and gave the blonde boy a quick smile

"yeah I'll go up- night guys" I said quickening my pace back into the house and up to mine and Amanda's room "hey" I called walking in

"hi- feeling better?" she asked settling into the sheets

"much" I grinned going to the bed and pulling my side open "first day meeting and already in bed together" I joked hearing a laugh come from the girl "anyways goodnight" I smiled one last time before I turned my lamp off and closed my eyes

"night"

･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆

"Y/n....Y/n" I heard a whisper shout in my ear "wake up.... Y/n please" my eyes flickered open "someones in here" her voice was small

"what..who?" I asked sitting up, the room was pitch black, I grabbed my phone turning on the flashlight "one of the guys?"

"no...well its a man, he's In the corner watching" I turned my head to the corner of the room, shining my light there and there it was again a hazy mist "Y/n I see things like this but he seems different- I cant get anything from him, he seems.. I don't even know"

"shall we leave?" I asked pushing the covers off my body

"yeah- erm let me just grab my paper quickly" rapidly I left the bed, grabbing my jumper I seemed to have taken off and waited for Amanda to come to me, she followed me as we left the room and went next door, I pushed opened the door to reveal the two sleeping boys tucked untidily in the sheets "should we wake them up?"

"yeah- Sam, Colby" I called seeing neither of them shift, I went over to the bed shaking Sam by his shoulder and his eyes opened

"what the fuck Y/n- what?" his whispered, voice full of sleep "its like- 6 in the morning" the covers on the other side shifted and a murmur came from the boys mouth

"Amanda saw a man in our room" I spoke being quieter, I turned back to see the girl sat In the small desk chair looking to her notepad

"what do you mean? a real man?" Colby spoke up, the covers fell from him showing his toned body

"no- it was an older guy, green robe, little hair, and like I kept getting the words like 'ladies' 'kiss' and 'beauty'" Amanda told with a breath

"sounds like that Christopher guy" I shook my head feeling my cheek go hot then cold in the middle "Y/n whats wrong"

"I think you're right" I answered "he kissed me, like I felt what Mary or whatever told us" I sat myself on the bed setting back onto the frame "my cheek felt hot then ice cold In the middle"

"why has he followed you guys into here though? he must really like you" as soon as Sam finished a huge bang rattled the house "fuck was that" he called

"did you follow the girls in here Christopher?" Colby asked "Knock once for no, knock twice for yes" we all went quiet listening to the two thumps that filled the room

"you have no right to touch us- don't ever do that again" Amanda warned, her tone slick with anger "its wrong to follow girls like that- or anyone for that matter. Never do that again you hear me Christopher" the sound of footsteps rattled through and soon faded down the stairs, he left thankfully

"fucking hate this so much" I muttered looking to my phone, I unlocked it I switched onto snapchat, soon the dark outline of Sam Colby appeared on my screen "smile" I voiced, trying to take my mind from everything thats happened seeing the two sleepily posed and I pressed the button snapping a picture, it loaded back onto my screen and I went to look "no- fucking - way!"

"what?!" the three asked scrambling over to see, I pointed to in-between the two "is that a face?" Sam yelled, hands gripping to his hair, and there it was two eyes, nose and mouth "who is that?"

"let me see" Amanda said taking my phone "it looks like...Carol-Anne? like the painting in the living room, thats gotta be her"

"we never learnt anything about her" I spoke "is that you, Carol-Anne?" I felt a nudge next to me "oh" I called looking over my shoulder "is that a yes?" I felt the push again "Okay- erm why don't we get the spirt box out again" I said

"yeah but no Estes this time" Sam answered going into his bag and pulling at the box switching it on, the static taking me back to only a few hours earlier

"what happened to you?" I asked

"daddy" we all looked to each other

"your dad did something?"

"push"

"he pushed you? where did he push you?" Amanda asked grabbing her note book again writing something dow

"woods"

"pushed you into the woods?"

"dark...cold"

"where in the woods did it happen?" I questioned

"grave"

"holy shit was she buried alive?" I turned to Colby who's jaw was open

"yes"

"OH MY GOD" we all called horrified by the response

"why?"

"Naughty baby" it answered

"naughty baby? maybe she was looking after the baby and it did something?"

"moved"

"did you hurt it by accident?"

"poorly head" my eyes widened "speak no more" it finished and the static got louder and louder

"fucking hell" I sighed "well thank you" Sam reached over turning off he box

"well I'm not sleeping anymore" we all laughed "and why dod everything touch me!" I called flopping down into the bed

･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆

the time ticked by until it reached 9am, we all decided to get ready for the day and wait down stairs until Jack and Mary returned, Me and Sam sat slouched in the living room looking around at the different history in the room "did we ever check if that other door closed? the one in the attic?" I asked looking up the the blonde

"me and Col checked- its closed and I couldn't even pull it back open.. do we tell the owners it opened?"

"maybe but just don't say me and Amanda went up" I told sitting back up "speaking of I think they're here" together we got up, watched as their range drover pulled onto the gravel drive

"Hi guys" Jack called walking into the house with Mary in hand, we all greeted the pair again before they led us to sit in the dining room. I pulled a chair between Amanda and Colby, across from the couple

"So what happened?" Mary spoke crossing her hands

"well nothing happened till about 9pm, erm me and Manda went to change or something up stairs and then we herd a massive noise from the third floor... we went up to see and you know the do not enter door?"

"did- did it open?" Jack asked with a worried tone

"mhm and we promise we did nothing to it, we hadn't touched it or anything, we put the Rempod there and it beeped, and I saw a little girl, red hair, blue bows..."

"Marlie- she doesn't come round much" Mary smiled "did she speak to you? she's often very shy" we all nodded telling her what we knew "was there anyone else?"

"we had Marlie, Christopher and Carol-Anne" Colby answered "can you tell us what actually happened with her before we tell you what she said?"

"sure, so she was the mother of Marlie, Kelsie-Rose, Robert and a toddler we believe the name was Marcus or Marc, one day while looking after the children she was struggling and Marcus kept misbehaving and while in her arms and she dropped him and he passed out but her father caught it happen, bare in mind she was 20 with 4 children, and her father was so angry he made the servants of the house dig a grave in the woods and she was buried alive because of it on January 9th, but the wood was chopped away for the garden and her grave is actually in the pond" my heart skipped- I knew there was something wrong with that pond

"thats what she told us" I said, my voice barely above a whisper

"its a horrible story- poor girl" Mary told looking down "when did she tell you?"

"this morning, around 6ish"

"thats when it happened, 6am she was buried, we found it in a diary that was brought up from the old basement- obviously that basement is gone now though" the group as a whole let out a breath, one of pure shock

"fuck" Sam groaned

Soon it was time to go, we all went up grabbing our stuff saying our good byes to the house, Jack and Mary too, we all went out to Sam's car, putting all our things into the back. I opened my door getting into my back seat and looked to the floor, the same sweets from the day before, I picked up the pack tipping a few into my lap.

"guys were going to do no stops so if you need a piss then fuck it" Sam called staring his car

Soon everyone was settled in and the trip began again, Colby looked over to me sending a quick smile my way as I toyed with the sweet pack in my lap , I handed him a sweet and he happily opened it putting it into his mouth

"good?" he nodded letting his head fall back leaning onto the window "I'm so tired" I jawed, Colby looked over to me again, patting his lap "you sure?" he nodded not sharing any words but turning himself to be comfier for me, I leant down letting my head rest on Colby's thigh "goodnight" I joked, I closed my eyes feeling a soothing warmth come over me, subtly I felt Colbys hand stroke down my arm, stopping near my wrist and his other going to my scalp drawing small circles around my head, slowly I felt myself become lighter and soon I was fast asleep

･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆

"look at them" someone spoke "they're gonna laugh at this when they're awake" someone else said, my eyes flittered open to the two smiling, staring faces of the two blondes "hello" Sam cooed

"mor-morning" I hummed stretching slightly, my hand hit something and I looked up to see the other sleeping face of Colby above me, I couldn't stop the shy smile from appearing on my face "Col" I called shaking him slightly

"no babe I'm tired" he muttered turning away, my heart stopped 'babe'? he was asleep, he didn't know he said it.. but everyone else herd

"he's gonna regret saying that" Sam sinisterly grinned with a wicked laugh

finally we all got out, Colby sleepily shuffled inside the house, scratching his hair out his face "that went fast" he huffed falling onto the sofa

"indeed it did babe" Sam giggled looking to me and back to Colby

"what?" he spoke looking to us

"nothing- anyways I've gotta take Amanda to the airport" I looked to the blonde girl who pouted coming over to me, I wrapped my arms around her

"thanks for the last day it was so cool, and it was great meeting you, we'll, have to hang out again" I grinned coming away

"absolutely! I loved this so much, see you soon Colby" the boy stood hugging her too and we both waved goodbye as Sam and her pulled away, we both walked back into the living room flopping into the couch with a sigh

"gonna come to the next haunted place?" he spoke looking over to me

"hm maybe- just don't wanna be kissed by a random ghosty man again though" I giggled facing Colby again, I hadn't noticed how close we were, our shoulders grazing against each others, faces inches away

"maybe you could get kissed by someone else?" he questioned, eyes falling to my lips then back up to me "...can I tell you what I tried to tell you this morning?" I nodded, no words able to leave my mouth "I was wondering if maybe I could...if I could kiss you?" I looked to the boy, paralysed by his words

"yes please" I answered, it came out my breathy then I imagined but the smile that crept onto the boys face made me realise it wasn't a bad thing. Gently Colby's hand slithered up to my jaw, cupping my face pulling me in lightly

His breath hitched, a low, deep moan escaping as our lips melded. It was a soft collision, yet every touch carried an electric charge, as though our mouths were destined to be together. Each motion felt instinctual, a choreographed dance of desire. Sensing Colby's longing, his tongue traced a path along my lips, a silent plea for entry that I welcomed eagerly. The kiss intensified, a symphony of heat and passion, a growing ache in my stomach got so much needier.

My actions became thoughtless, almost instinctive as I straddled him, our connection unbroken. ''God, you're incredible'' he murmured, his hands finding their place on my waist, his voice a deep, gravelly whisper that sent shivers down my spine. The air crackled with an intoxicating blend of desire and appreciation, his lips moved from my lips to my jaw and then my neck

"Mhmm Co-Colby" I whined as he reached the sweet spot, hearing my sigh he kept going, sucking deeper and harder "agh fuck" my hands gripped his shoulders, scrunching into his shirt, my back arching making me come away from his lips

"if you keep acting like this we might need to go somewhere else" I smiled looking down to the boy "my room?" he spoke and I just nodded jumping from his lap watching him intently as he stood grabbing me again, lifting me to meet his lips, I curled my arms around his neck pulling him as close as I could.

We began climbing the stairs, Colby's hands keeping me steady around his waist until we reached the top, he set me down softly and my hands went quickly down to his waist, fingers curling around his his shirt lifting it above his head and threw it to the floor, his actioned mirrored mine, my shirt quickly being on top if his crumpled on the floor, his hands quickly found the underneath of my thighs again and lifted me up carrying to his room.

"you're so beautiful" he whispered, as he set me on his bed, my fingers went to my jeans, pushing the button out the hole and soon down my legs and onto the floor, as soon as they were off Colby crawled above me, eyes eating every inch of me "look at you" he cooed, hand drawing up the side of me until it met my bra

"take it off?" I teased, a playful glint sparkling in my eyes as I curved a seductive smile on my lips. A subtle nod from him and I propped myself up, stealing a swift kiss before turning around. I could feel the warmth of his gentle fingers as they skillfully unhooked my bra, his lips tracing a tantalizing path against my bare skin, sending shivers down my spine. I turned to meet his gaze again, a coy expression playing on my face, silently inviting him to continue

"holy shit" He gazed in awe, his eyes tracing down my body as his head dipped closer. With a delicate motion, his lips caressed my breast, the tantalizing touch of his tongue flicking along my nipple sent shivers cascading down my spine, igniting a thrilling sensation that lingered

"fuck fuck fuck" I sang as he sucked harder his hand massaging the other "Colby- please fuck I need you" I cried, hand wrapping into his hair pulling him up "please" I begged, I pulled his hand from my waist to my heat letting him feel my need, his pricing eyes glared into mine with the most lustful grin play along his lips

"shit" he smirked, quickly he stood pulling down his cargos revealing the tent that had formed in his boxers that were tightly pulled on his skin, he sat back onto the bed and I couldn't help but crawl onto him again, my heat meeting his bulge, my lips went to his jaw, sucking as sweet mumbles fell from his lips. Unintentionally I let my hips grind against his, I couldn't help but create some sort of friction "fuck doll" his head lulled back, his body hitting the mattress moments after, my hand lay against his abs keeping me up while I pushed harder onto his tent

"Colby?" I asked seeing him look to him again "I really need you" my voice was shaky, needy. My finger traced a path from his v-line to his boxer strap, toying with the underneath begging for entrance

"fuck- need to be in you" he spoke, as he sat on his elbows, I grinned taking that as a yes to pull off the restraint from his cock "ughh" he quivered as it sprung to his stomach

"fuck me" I breathed, it seemed to light a fire in the boy, I felt our position switch, Colby towered above me, his arms reached above my head

"let me take care of you Y/n" he asked, peppering my face with small kisses, I nodded feeling his fingers go to my hips pulling my panties from my skin, the cold air hitting my burning core.

his fingers sweep my entrance "unnngh" I sighed eyes clamping closed, I reopened my eyes to watch the boy stick his slick fingers into his mouth, sucking off the reminiscences of me off

"you're so sweet baby girl-just like those fucking sweets" Colby looked to me, and without any words shared my mouth opened, and his two digits entered my mouth "mm"

It was enough teasing, we knew we couldn't keep teasing each other, it was torturous, his hand grabbed his cock slipping it gently between my folds "Col-Colby please" before I could even finish my pleas his tip pushed in me "aghhh" I called, my finger tips dug into the sheets, slowly he pushed deeper, incoherent noises fell from my lips, he stopped, our bodies meeting as he bottomed out

"shi-shi-shit Y/n... fuck" slowly the brunette pulled back achingly slow, feeling every inch of my inside before plowing back in, moans, groans, yelps of pleasure started to seep from us as he found a fast pace, the sound of sex filling the room, Colbys hands gently groping the skin

"Colby- Colby" I chanted, I grabbed one of his hands leading it to my neck, delicately his hand held me, not restricting my breathing but enough to make me want more of him, I traced sharp lines against his skin until my grasp fixed to his hair, every time his tip brushed my core my body shivered and pulled a tuft of his brown locks

"thats it Y/n- Take it take it take it!" Colby growled, his cock disappearing into my body "shit-" he swallowed

"Deeper Col- Fuck- Dee-deeper" I cried as I curled my hands around his head. Colby's eyes snapped to mine, those god damn blue eyes- the ones I stared at for years but never got to see them like this before, half shut but open enough to see his pupils growing larger with every hit

"say my name-" he moaned, I took one last gasp of air before the name 'Colby' flowed from my mouth sending rhythmic shivers down his back "ugh- Y/n I need you to keep doing that for me" for the first time since we began the pace slowed, his cock barely coming out of me "Fuck Y/n/n I'm so close" he whimpered sending a chill through my burning body "are you?" I nodded, no words escaping my mouth, our eyes locked, his eyes seeming to be darker and more lust filled than before, his hands moved from being around my neck to caging around my face "I cant hold it any longer babe" he moaned, his hips stuttered each time hitting my g-spot

"Co-Colby I'm going to- fuck- I'm gonna cum" I purred, hands scratching into his skin making him hiss in pleasure, soon we both groaned, his head falling into the crook of my neck

"ffffuuucckk" he cried as he pumped his load into me, I rolled my hips against him gently, riding out my high before I felt myself come down to the soothing feeling of lips against my face

"fuck you were so good sweetheart" Colby breathed, looking at my face checking I was okay

"I... I cant even speak" I smiled, hands holding onto his face, tracing his features

"fucked you that good?" he smirked jokily, slowly he pulled out, his hand rubbing over my stomach

"shut up" I grinned. The two of us lay there quietly for a moment, his arms coming around keeping me embraced to his side.

"you wont believe how long I've waned to do this with you" he soothed, pressing a kiss to the corner of my lip

"I always thought it was just me" I spoke

"wanna go grab a drink?" I nodded standing going to grab my panties off the floor "need a shirt?"

"yeah I think someone through mine onto the floor"

"Oh who was that?" I shook my head taking the t-shirt the boy handed me, I slipped it over my body taking in the cent of him, I went to take a step by my body felt shaky "you okay?" he laughed, hands gripping my arms

"mhm- just need a second" I giggled standing myself back up, soon we made it down stairs walking to go in the kitchen, my view was full with a blonde giving the most evil look, but not evil in a bad way, the way were straight away I knew the both of us were in for it

"so?" he spoke cocking his eyebrow up

"when did you get back?" Colby asked, pulling the fridge open and getting two bottles of something out

"about 10 minuets" I sighed, closing my eyes trying to ignore the blush from burning a hole in my face

"I called it years ago" Sam grinned coming from his place and hitting the back of the other boy before walking away

"aha don't go all shy Y/n- it's fine" the hands of Colby wrapped around my waist pulling me into a hug "you know he's only playing- but he isn't wrong, he called that we'd be together one day"

"Together?" I asked looking up to meet the eyes of the boy

"well- that was my next question" he sighed, lips pressing against mine "what do you think?"

"mh- I think its a good idea" my arms wound around his neck, pulling him to kiss my lips again "what do you think?"

"I think calling you mine sounds perfect"

[the-froschamethyst4]

He’s just a bit older

𖤐Pairing: Soap x Younger F! Reader

𖤐Pronouns: She/Her

𖤐Warnings: smut, older Soap young Y/n, age gap, P in V, eating out, language, dads' best friend

AN: If you’re not comfortable with this age gap type of stuff this isn’t probably for you. By age gap I mean early 20 year old Y/n and early 40s Soap

Y/n is Price’s daughter and she’s had a bit of a crush on her dads best friend, John Soap MacTavish

But Price is caught up at work that he forgot him and Soap are meeting up to watch the soccer match (football for the Europeans)

Could Soap and Y/n get away with fucking each other without Price ever knowing

——————

———————

“Y/N! I’m going to work!” Price yells at his daughter.

“OKAY!” She yells back. She had gotten out of the shower and was going to hang out with her boyfriend Hunter.

It was their 10-month anniversary, and she was very excited to hang out with him. Sure, they hang out almost every day, but she was just excited for today.

She brushed her teeth and blow dried her hair, she even spread her favorite lotion on her skin to smell good for Hunter. She even put on some light make up on as well.

Y/n grabbed a bright pink tank top and white tennis skirt. Hunter and Y/n were going to see the Barbie Movie together and she was very excited.

Y/n grabbed her purse and went downstairs and was going to wait for Hunter to come and get her for the movie. She played on her phone and looked at the time, sure she got ready a bit early at least she'll be ready.

As she took a couple of photos of her outfit and captioned them with 'Date Night with @/h.hunt14' she smiled seeing the likes and comments she was getting from her friends.

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK

"PRICE!" She looked up from her phone and looked at the front door hearing a thick Scottish accent.

"Soap?" She asked as she got up and opened the door.

"Hey, Y/n. Where's your dad?" He asks with a case of beer in his hands.

"Umm work? Why are you here?" She leaned on the doorframe, crossing her arms and looking at her father's best friend.

"He invited me to watch the football game."

"Well again, he's not home," she mumbled.

"Yeah, I see that. So, could I still come in? Your dad already knows I'm supposed to be here."

"I guess," Y/n let him inside and he placed the case of beer of the kitchen counter.

"Where are you going?" He asks, cracking open a beer.

"To the movies. Hunter and I are going to see the Barbie Movie together for our 10-month anniversary." She smiles when she brings up Hunter and Soap smiled hearing that she found someone to be with.

"That's cool," he smiles before taking a sip of his drink.

"I'm going to text my dad and see if he knew you were supposed to come this early."

"Yeah," he agrees.

Y/n: *Dad, Soap is here. Is he supposed to be here this early?*

Price: *Ah shit, I told him to come early, I didn't expect him this early, tell him I'll be home around 2-3*

Y/n: *K*

"My dad said, he'll be home around two or three. Just make yourself comfortable," she says as she went back to the couch. "I'll be leaving around one for the movies." She yells him.

"Okay, yeah sure," Soap said as he watched Y/n head back to the couch. He looked at her skirt seeing it raise up went she plopped down on the black couch.

He saw her white panties and smirked just a little bit but soon wiped it away. He remembered this isn't right, this is his best friends only daughter.

---------

Some time has passed, and Y/n was now waiting on her boyfriend to show up. She was texting him asking him where he was and all but no answer.

She ran her hand through her hair and let out a soft sign, Soap had turned on the TV to watch a pre-game before the actual game. He looked at Y/n seeing her being distressed.

"What's wrong?" He asked.

"He's not answering the movie starts in a like 30 minutes..." she said.

"Did you try calling him?"

"I didn't want to bother you though."

"It's fine, go ahead," he says as Y/n went upstairs and called Hunter.

But it went straight to voicemail. "Hey, Hunter, are you coming to get me, or did you forget about me?" She kind of laughs at the 'forgetting' part. "Just text me or call me back and let know what's going on."

She walks back downstairs sitting next to Soap again. She crossed her arms over her chest and leaned back ignoring her phone now. Maybe he's on his way and can't answer her?

"Everything okay?" He asks.

"I don't know," she said as she looked at Soap. "If you think something is going on with your partner...would you keep texting them or would you ignore them?"

"What do you mean? Are you expecting him of something?" He asks, placing his beer on the table in front of them.

"No, but...he's just been...distant I guess."

"How so?"

"Like now, he's ignoring me, sometimes will just flat out not talk to me for a long period of time, I have to start conversations, I have to make plans and invite him to join-LIKE NOW I asked we should see the Barbie movie, he said 'cool that's fine' like he wasn't really interested." Her eyes looked red and glossy; she seemed like she was about to cry.

"Hey, hey, it's okay...the best thing to do is get rid of the problem...if it was me...I'd break up with them, but you love him, I know you do. I can see it in your eyes that you love him. But that's up to you," he said.

The tension between them was hot now because they understood each other. Was it sexual? No, it couldn't be. Price would kill both of them if he caught them.

Soap looked down at Y/n's lips seeing lip gloss on them, her lips were plump and looked so soft it he kissed them. He bit the corner of his bottom lip as Y/n played with her fingers. It was like she was thinking about something, and she was.

She looked down at his crotch seeing his bulge in his pants. She gulped and looked up at Soap.

Y/n didn't hesitate, she crawled on top of Soap's lap. Soap put his hands up he didn't know what to do with them. She just smiles and moves them to her waist.

She then placed her arms around his neck and ran her fingers through his hair.

"Wow...your fingers...they...they are like magic, this is so calming," he chuckles.

Y/n giggles too. "I mean...I don't know? I do it to myself sometimes, it feels so good."

"Yeah," he coos, he looked up at her. His hands moved from her waist down to her butt, she moans slightly. He leans forward and kissed her neck, earning another moan from her.

He pushes up the bottom of her white skirt and grabbed at her soft bare ass cheeks. His lips felt so good on her collarbone and neck.

"F-Fuck-" she moans.

Soap then snapped back into reality. Soap looked up at Y/n staring into her eyes. "W-we shouldn't b-be doing this," he stutters a bit.

"My dad won't know...and neither will Hunter. This will between you and I, Soap."

"No, no, we can't," he moved his hands back to her waist trying to push her off his lap.

"Fine..." she got off his lap. She stood at the doorway before walking to her bedroom, but she turned back to Soap, she brought her leg up and flashed her panties to Soap.

"Don't-Don't do that, Y/n."

"Oh, come on, Soap. You know you want it," she says as she began to walk away, and Soap got up and followed her to her bedroom.

Y/n sat on the edge of her bed, she crossed her legs and looked at Soap with a smirk on her face. She uncrossed her legs, and she lifted up her skirt again exposing the front of the panties.

They were white, lace with a small pink rose in the middle.

"Come on, Soap, my dad won't know," she smiles at him.

"Fuck," he closed her bedroom door and Y/n smirked knowing he finally got his attention.

"Come on, Soap," she said.

He walked to her, and she started to remove her tank-top and Soap grabbed her skirt and pulled it down. His hands went to her panties and pulled them off as well. He rested his hands on her thighs and looked up at her with a smirk.

"Are you sure, he won't know?" Soap asked.

"Promise, he won't be back so soon, and he always values his work first."

"That's not true, he values you."

"Not really," Y/n closed her legs and covered her exposed area and looked down at him. "Why do you think him, and my mom got a divorce? Because he worked so much and valued his work over mom and me, that...they called it quits..."

"But...he talks about you a lot when we hang out."

"Doesn't matter...he sure as hell doesn't show it..." She looked down at him, his hands slid up her thighs and rested on her exposed hips. His hands soon went around to her butt and gently squeezed, earning a soft moan from her.

"He talked about you when you were high school and how you were so nervous in freshman year, you were scared if you and your friends would drift apart but you all stuck together through high school..." Soap lifted up the end of the skirt. "You were nervous about your Prom thinking Hunter wouldn't show but he did..."

Soap then moved forward closed to her area, she could feel his hot breath on her. "...Your Senior year...you were crazy nervous about a test that was 100% of your grade...you passed...and...he took you out for dinner..." he then licked between her folds earning a moan from her. She grabbed his hair and leaned on her elbows.

"S-Soap-"

"Senior Prom...you left early because you were homesick...you wanted to spend the rest of you night with your dad because you...he may be lonely when you were out..."

Y/n's grip tightened on his hair that she got a groaned from him. She looked down at his eyes as he kept licking her and talking to her about what her father has said about her.

Y/n always thought that Price valued his work over her...Price is a good father, he's been to all her soccer games even when he had tuns of work, he'd put everything on hold just to go watch her play.

Even when she joined the dance team, he put everything on hold just to go and watch her.

She realized how more present he was in her life versus her own mother...hell...her own mother told her that she should go live with Price because she didn't want to deal with Y/n and all her actives during school that Price was there even when she didn't want her there.

Soap licked between her folds some more and started to insert two fingers inside of her. He started to move them in and out of her quickly, she moaned his name and let go of his hair and started to grip the sheets on her bed.

"H-Holy fuck," she moans.

"He was mad...when you and Hunter first broke up...he thought he would...have to kill him because he...broke his little girls' heart..." Soap mumbled. He looked up at her and hummed a little bit.

He stood up and pushed her on her back. His hands slid up her shirt, he felt her bra and unhooked it with one hand and got it off her chest. He pushed her tank top up exposing her breasts to him.

She ran her fingers up her stomach to the tank top to keep it out of his way. His hands went to her sides and looked down at her small body as his big, veiny hands just caressed her.

"You fit my hands so perfectly," he mumbles and kissed her neck and moved up to kiss her lips.

His hands roamed all over her, his hand then started to fiddle with his belt and started to remove his belt and pull his pants down, he removed his shirt and then pushed himself against her clit.

"H-Holy-" she moans.

He started to fish himself out of her boxers and pulled his boxers off his lower half.

"I-It's not f-fair that I'm fully clothed and y-you're not..." she moans.

"You're not technically fully clothed...you're just in a skirt and tank top, you don't have panties and a bra on..."

"Half naked but still."

"Fine," he quickly rips her skirt off her lower half and pulled her tank top over her head. "There...now we're even," he smirks.

"G-Good," she mumbles and Soap without warning pushed himself inside of her.

He thrusts were sloppy but soon started to pick the pace even more and she let out a satisfying moan that made his head spin. Hearing her moans make him feel like he's doing such a good job.

To tell the truth. Soap wasn't that experience. Price always teased him about how needs to get out more and have some more experience with a woman. He only had 2 girlfriends in his life and a wife and wasn't that experience.

His hand cupped her face and rubbed his thumb under her eye, he watched her face and smirked seeing her face become so red and watching her expressions change as well.

"Goddamn, I d-didn't think I w-was that good," Soap groans.

---------

Price looked at his phone seeing the time, but he also knows that Soap's 'waiting' on him at the house. Price looked at his computer and saw he has 5 more emails and then he can be done.

He answered them and then texted Y/n.

Price: *Hey, I'm almost done soon, let Johnny know I'm coming soon, and we can watch the game*

Y/N: *.....*

Price just looked at the dots on the screen letting him know she was typing.

Y/n was on her stomach as Soap was hitting her from the back, she was a moaning mess as she couldn't even type properly. She only got a few words typed out but couldn't even hit the 'send' button.

"H-He's a-about done s-soon..." she moans as Soap gripped her hips and smacked her butt watching his handprint form on her left cheek.

"Then...w-we better h-hurry..." she could feel him smirking behind her.

She dropped her phone on her bed and gripped the bedsheets. She felt her stomach start turning, she was about to cum. He could feel her about to cum, he gripped her hips even tighter knowing he was going to cum as well.

"Holy fuck," Soap moans and so does Y/n. She felt herself leak onto his dick and he pulled out and she felt his cum leak on her lower back.

Y/n was panting trying to catch her breath as Soap rested his forehead between her shoulder blades and kissed her shoulder.

"I didn't hurt you, did I?"

"No...I'm okay...I need to c-clean up..." she sat up and moved off her bed, Soap fell on his back on her bed and looked up at the ceiling and heard the water start.

He looked at her bathroom seeing the door open, and he could see her figure in the shower, he rubbed his temple and grabbed his boxers and jeans putting them back on.

DING DONG

"SOAP, CAN YOU GET THAT!?"

"Yeah," he grabbed his shirt and put it back on and walked downstairs to go answer the door. He looked through the glass and saw Hunter. He opened the door with some force making Hunter jump a little.

"The fuck you want?"

"Who are you?" Hunter asked, he looked around to make sure he has the right house. "Is this the Price's?"

"Yeah, it is," he crossed his arms over his chest.

Y/n had a towel wrapped around her waist and a towel in her hair. She walked downstairs and saw Hunter at the door and Soap intimating him.

"Hunter?"

"Who the hell is this guy?" Hunter asked pointing to Soap.

"He's...my dad's best friend..." she said.

"Why are you wet? Did you get out of the shower?"

"Wow, no shit Captain Obvious," Soap said.

"Soap..." Y/n warned. "What do you want Hunter?" She asked him.

"Just wanted to come by and say I'm here...come on...let's go to the movies but I see...you're not even ready...and...this guy is here," Hunter tried to intimidate Soap back but of course, Soap isn't scared of some random ass kid.

"Are you...KIDDING ME! WHY THE HELL WOULD I GO TO THE MOVIES WITH YOU NOW!! YOU IGNORED ME FOR THREE HOURS AND ALL OF A SUDDEN YOU SHOW UP!! I AM NOT GOING ANYWHERE WITH YOU!!" She slammed the door in Hunter's face and leaned against the door. "Holy fuck...is he fucking serious?" She asked, looking up at Soap.

"I see now what Price was talking about."

"What?" She asked.

"You can definitely handle yourself to where...you don't even need a guy..." Soap smiles.

"He said that?"

"Again, kid, he talks about you all the time...even when you think he doesn't think about you or talk about you, he does...and he's very grateful and thankful to have you in his life," he said, leaning down and kissing her lips.

"I know, he loves me and all...but like I said...he only loves his work...I have to go get dressed now..." she said, walking up the stairs.

--------

1:30PM

Price got in the driveway and saw Y/n's car and Soap's car, he smiled at his daughter's car, a 1967 Chevy impala, it was Price's first car and he found back it in a garage at his old home where it lived for probably 20 or more years, he fixed it up just for her. She takes care of it like it's her child.

He grabs his keys before entering his home. He unlocks the door and opens it seeing Soap on the couch, a beer in hand and Y/n sitting on the love seat far from Soap reading her book, her legs to her chest as she looked up from her book seeing her dad walk in the door.

"Hi dad," she says with her usual sweet smile on her face.

"Hey, lovely..." he sets his stuff down at the door and grabbed a beer from the fridge. "Has the game started, MacTavish?" Price asked as he plopped on the other side of the couch.

"Nah, not yet Price..." He smirks before taking a sip from his beer.

"Damn, if I knew you were coming this early, I should have been home earlier."

"Nah, it's good," Soap looked at Y/n who hid her red face behind her book.

Y/n left the living room and headed to her bedroom.

Price looked at Soap before taking a swing on his beer.

"I know you two had sex while I was gone," Soap spit it his drink out, he coughed and wiped his chin before staring at Price.

"What?" He choked out.

"Soap, I have cameras around the house for Y/n's protection while I'm gone...I saw them go off when you two were alone and I have one outside her bedroom door, you two went in and you shut the door, you came out an hour later fixing your shirt and opened the front door to Hunter asking for her, you both handled it pretty well, I should say...Just...don't let that ever happen again, you got it?"

"Yes, sir...and...sorry..."

"It's fine."

"Are you going to tell her, that you know?"

"No, I'll let her know that you two didn't do anything..."

[carlos-in-glasses]

Where All This Love Comes From

I'm so excited to share what has been known as Flashback Fic! 107k words, with all 14 chapters here on Ao3, rated E.

Six months after Gabriel Reyes’ death, TK grows concerned about Carlos’ drinking and brings him to a meeting at the Y. Afterwards, over omelets at the diner, the husbands open up to each other. TK reflects on meeting Carlos after years of addiction and self-destruction, while Carlos has continued to seek closure by uncovering two unknowns: The identity of his father’s killer, and how his father truly felt about Carlos as his son.

************************************************

Carlos puts his arms around him from behind and holds him still, kissing his neck. TK tries to twist in Carlos’ grip, but he won’t let him. He starts walking him towards the bedroom. “I’m desperate for you,” TK says, his blood hot, cheeks red, eyes pricking with tears. “I know.” “Make me forget everything.” “I will.” “I only want to think about you.” “You will.” Carlos stops for a breath. He smells TK – his clean hair, his evanesced cologne, his natural man scent, his salty tears that have imbued his skin, the sweat of stress. Sad, but still beautiful to Carlos. TK, delicious. “I never thought I’d have you. I never thought–” he can’t speak anymore.

***********************************************

Chapter 1: A Trail to Follow

In 2023, TK discovers something that triggers memories of heroin withdrawal seven years before – and Carlos makes amends with Gutiérrez after accusing him of his father’s murder.

Chapter 2: A Very Nice Sweater for the 'Y'

TK takes Carlos to the N.A. meeting – but when things don’t go as hoped, he instigates another method to get Carlos talking.  

Chapter 3: Snowballing

A messy situation in 2010 causes TK as a high school junior to lash out. In 2023, Carlos realizes it's time to tell TK about one more secret. 

Chapter 4: Original Sin

In 2013, Carlos accidentally destroys Gabriel’s oldest friendship. Nine years later, he attempts to make peace after he and TK get engaged.

Chapter 5: Between Two Bridges

In 2022, a grieving and struggling TK is compelled to talk to Owen about his 2020 overdose, which leads him to remember when his addiction nearly killed him years before. In 2023, TK asks Carlos about his history with alcohol. (Note: Chapter features TK using and gets fairly graphic)

Chapter 6: One Tequila, Two Tequila, Three Tequila, Floor

TK and Carlos compare notes on when they first came out – with Carlos spiraling in 2011 after an unexpected outburst, while TK in 2008 is embraced (and embarrassed) by his parents. In 2021, both handle the raw days of their breakup differently too.

Chapter 7: A Boy's Best Friend

In 2009, Gabriel attempts to connect with his increasingly distant and unhappy teenage son. In 2013, the fallout of Carlos leaving Iris has begun, and he knows his relationship with his parents will never be the same. In 2023, TK tries to talk to Gabriel about the bombshell revelation that Carlos doesn’t want kids.

Chapter 8: Your Heart, As If It Was My Very Own

In 2011, TK is left bewildered after he loses his virginity. Years later, with Carlos, TK's mind (among other things) is blown in a whole new way. In 2022, TK has an important conversation with a certain visitor when he wakes from his coma.

Chapter 9: Coffee with Gutiérrez

In September 2023, Carlos seeks an important but painful truth from Gutiérrez, and finds an unexpected ally within the 126. Two months later in Blue Moon Diner, TK gets ready to tell Carlos more about his past in New York.

Chapter 10: The Day Begins Like Any Other

In 2016, after TK experiences an assault and sees an old friend again under devastating circumstances, he makes a life-altering decision when his dealer suggests he try something new. In 2009, TK is attacked at school. (Note: Please heed the tags and the chapter note. Reader discretion advised. Look after your hearts).

Chapter 11: Lonely as a Sparrow in the Rain

When Carlos confesses to TK about where he went with Judd back in September – and why – TK has to tell Carlos something he won't want to hear. In 2014, a rift develops when Carlos shows off his new Camaro to his parents.

Chapter 12: Happy For You, Son

Before moving to Austin, TK falls out with his parents over his relationship with Alex. In December 2020, it's a different story as Carlos hosts Owen and Gwyn for TK's birthday meal. In 2012, Carlos has some unexpected news for his own parents, but Michelle tries to intervene. When TK and Carlos get engaged a decade later, Gabriel has something to say about it.

Chapter 13: The Risk of Love

In May 2023, Owen and TK save a spiraling Carlos from making the biggest mistake of his life when he thinks he’s found his father’s killer. In 2020, TK and Carlos become boyfriends beneath a sky full of aurora borealis.

Chapter 14: A Night Worth Celebrating

On a rainy night in 2020, TK and Carlos meet for the first time. In 2023, weeks after their big talk at Blue Moon, TK celebrates his thirtieth birthday with his husband, their family and their friends by his side – and Carlos is a little bit better at sharing his secrets.

Read on A03

[shadow4-1]

You're Not My Boyfriend! - Crazy!Soap x Reader Imagine (SFW)

[I just found out that my best friend of 10 years thinks we're dating (even tho he knows I'm married and have only ever referred to him as a friend - albeit my best friend). Idk what mental hoops he had to jump through to get to this point. Instead of dwelling on this interpersonal fact, I'm going to distract myself with a imagine on why Soap would most certainly act with the same kind of crazy.]

The two of you crossed paths for the first time because you're someone who works a support role for the 141 (ie. the medical/technical fields). You're not in the 141, in fact, you rarely see them because you're too busy with your own duties behind the scenes. You know they're important/a big deal because your superiors tell you so, but it's not like you really care. You don't deal with them enough to.

When you finally crossed paths with Soap, you find all of the team a bit brutish. You don't really like talking to them, and if you have to, you keep it curt. Soap is the one who actually tries to chat you up. You still keep up the same behavior because no thanks. He smiles too wide, and he doesn't blink enough. You're 95% sure all of these men are psychopaths.

A few weeks go by, and you completely forget about him. It isn't until flowers and chocolates and teddy bears with your name on it start showing up. The same note is always inside: Can't wait to see you again. Your stomach flips because you haven't been on a date in a couple years. All of your coworkers think you finally have a new significant other. They coo over the gifts and talk behind your back about how someone like you doesn't deserve the effort. You don't have it in yourself to speak up nor would it really matter.

You throw yourself into your work to distract yourself from the gossip. You tear through assignments like it's no one's business. Eventually, your productivity is noticed by Laswell. Unbeknownst to you, she does a background check on you. She finds out you've already been noticed by the 141 and have been receiving gifts from a particular member. She's half tempted to tell you but decides against it. She knows this won't end well either way. Laswell decides to leave you be, but manages to pull some strings to get you a well-deserved promotion.

The gifts stop for a few months but start up again sporadically. Rumors start about how the timing of the gifts matches up with the 141 deployments. Someone on the team has taken a liking to you. You roll your eyes at them, and you don't want to believe them. Those meatheads from the 141? One of them likes you when they've got dozens of other pretty young things working in their peripherals? Ha, likely story. The person actually sending you the gifts is probably the old janitor. After all, chivalry is so dead nowadays.

The gifts keep coming even as you enjoy your new promotion. The notes start to change, but they continue to remain anonymous. You start to accept that your favorite flowers are being sent from a 141 member. You have to see them more often, thanks to your new post. It doesn't take you long to figure out which man has been trying to capture your attention. God, why does it always have to be the creepy ones?

He's too touchy and too insensitive, and he's loud and makes you feel small. You want him to leave every time you have to be in the room with the team. Why couldn't it have been the Captain or the maniac in black? Why does it have to be the Scottish one who won't shut up?

You learn (against your will) that his name is John "Johnny/Soap" MacTavish, he's single and ready to mingle, he loves his mum and his sisters and he thinks you're "bangin" (whatever that means). It's so obvious he's got a crush on you, but you desperately try to play it off. He's a puppy, and all you have to do is wait for him to grow up and realize it's never going to happen.

One night, you decide to head out with your coworkers for drinks. And lo and behold, guess who dragged his whole team out to the same bar? You're understandably pissed off, but you can't bear to tell Soap off in front of everyone. It's probably the biggest mistake of your life.

He physically sweeps you off your feet and refers to you as his "bestest girl". Despite how annoying he is, his good mood seems to run off on everyone...including you. He buys you drinks, and you keep him at a respectable arms length. Despite how much you really don't like him that way, you have to start admitting he's got a weird charm to him.

You make him repeat it back to you. He seems all too happy to agree with you.

Later on in the night, you take him off to the side. You explain to him clearly that the two of you are friends. Only friends. You'll never be more than that. But, he's a good guy, and if he needs someone to talk to, you're down to be friends.

"Yes, Bonnie. We're only friends."

With a sigh, you slap his shoulder and tell him to buy you another drink.

Weeks drag on. The romantic gifts stop, but the gifts keep coming. At first, it's nothing you'd really bat an eye over from a good friend. It's Scottish hot chocolate tablets that he swears you have to try. It's CDs of his favorite bands because your taste in music should be broadened! It's books and bags and stupid little trinkets to personalize your desk.

You can't believe you find yourself humoring him, but you do. After all, it seemed like his crush on you disappeared. You get him weird snacks and make him mixtapes for his longer missions. Always under the guise as a treat from the rest of the staff, you send care packages if you can. Johnny calls you out on it but you feign ignorance. He's your friend. You'd actually hate to know he's slogging around in mud, hungry and alone.

That sounds like pure hell.

"Y' git used to it, Bonnie."

Eventually, he suggests spending time outside of work. He mentions he'd gotten a new gaming console you'd been dying to have yourself. That night, the two of you sit comfortably side by side, trying to kick each other's asses at a video game. When he wims, he leans back and laces his arms beneath his head, grinning and laughing. He looks so proud of himself. A part of you whispers that it's because he'd weaseled his way into your good graces, but you were in too good of a mood to listen to that part of your brain.

Just as you were about to get ready to leave, Johnny stops you. It was late. You should take his bed and get some rest. He'd take you to work in the morning. Despite yourself, you agree. It was late, and you were tired, and the drive back home would be too long. You take off your pants, crawl into his huge bed and pass out.

The next morning was normal. You had an extra uniform in your locker, so you got changed at work. You had gotten a great night's sleep, so you didn't think about your appearance. But apparently, everyone else did.

The gossip began at full force. Someone saw you changing despite the fact you always came into work in uniform. Johnny looked terrible. It was obvious he hadn't gotten great sleep last night. You looked well rested. In fact, you were even glowing! And Johnny had dropped you off, too?

Oh no.

You wanted to address the new rumors, but that's all they were. And even if you did, you were sure it would just backfire. You tried to keep your head down, but one of your best friends (a fellow coworker) came by your desk. Apparently, Johnny was bragging that his bestest friend spent the night over.

You were so mad you tracked him down and pulled him to the side. You whispered angrily at him, chastising him for making it seem like the two of you were an item. You were only friends!

"Yeah, you're m' bestest girl." He shrugged, grinning happily. "N' m' you're bestest boy. We love each other."

The deranged pieces were starting to come together. The way he brushed off the advances of the other girls. The way all of your prospective partners disappeared after getting into it with him. The knowing, almost pitying glances of the 141.

"W-we're friends!" You squeaked. "You're not my boyfriend!"

"Boy friend. Boyfriend. What's th' difference?" Johnny laughed hard, doubling over. "We're together."

After that, you blocked his number and tried to ignore him. Of course, it didn't work. Johnny was relentless. He got new phone numbers to text you. He started sending gifts (this time a mix between the romantic and the mundane). He sent letters of all kinds during deployment. He even sent pictures you were sure would get him in trouble.

You tried so hard to ignore it all until one night, he messaged you on social media.

He was out on a mission again, but he just had to say how he felt:

I can't wait to get home and see you again. I miss you so much. You're one of the only people I can talk to and laugh with. I'm sorry if I made you upset. We should talk about it over dinner. My treat, Bonnie.

You knew better. God, you knew better. But that part of your heart that wanted to trust and love won over. You agreed to talk when he returned, but you made it very clear that it would be a meeting between coworkers, not even friends.

The day eventually came, and the two of you sat across from each other at a too fancy restaurant. There was a dress code, so you had on a nice dress. You were mad from the jump, you couldn't believe you'd let him talk you into this.

He was dressed nicely in a suit, with a bushel of flowers and a medium-sized gift box. He apologized for making you feel uncomfortable. He'd never meant to make you feel that way. He really did see you as his best friend. In his eyes, you were the only person who truly understood him. He let his physical attraction blind him, and for that, he was sorry.

"I'll admit, I did a few bad things against y'." He offered you the box. "I wanna give it all back, wipe the slate clean, love."

Love?

You shakily opened the box and felt bile rise up in the back of your throat. It was pairs of your old panties, missing chapsticks, nail polish, scrunchies, and even a dirty uniform shirt you thought you had lost. The contents of the box had a slightly musky scent that no longer resembled yours. He'd stolen these things and had kept them for a long, long time. Perhaps even before the two of you had become "friends".

You covered your hand with a mouth as you felt like you were getting sick. What the fuck?

"We'll, now tha' everything's been laid bare..."

You watched in shock as a few classical musicians with their instruments came around the table. They encircled you and began playing a romantic piece with sweet vibratos. The guests at other tables started to gasp and point at you. You tried to stand, but John put a hand on your shoulder to keep you sitting. With a voice loud enough for the whole restaurant to hear he began to talk.

"These last couple years you've been my bestest friend, m' bestest girl." He sighed dreamily before getting down onto one knee.

You were mortified. You tried to pull your feet away from him, but he placed a firm hand on your knee. He pulled out a shiny box from his suit pocket. The music hit a peak that made you start to cry from overstimulation. No, no, this couldn't be happening. He's crazy!

"Please, be m' bestest girl forever." He practically pleaded, opening the box to show off a much too large diamond ring. Women at the tables behind you gasped. The music began to stop, but the whine of the violins hurt your head. Tears began to spill down your face.

"Marry me, love."

The entire restaurant went silent.

You could feel dozens upon dozens of eyes on you.

The pressure was too much for you to outright say no.

But you couldn't say yes, either.

You began to sob loudly. You covered your face and tried to hide away from the gaze of the strangers. John shushed you and cooed and pulled you into his arms. You wanted to fight him but his large body shielded you from the petriying public gaze. He rubbed at your back and whispered encouraging words to you. Eventually, he got you to stop blubbering and pulled away from you just enough to look down into your face.

"I love you. N' 've always loved you." He smiled.

You squeaked at the feeling of ice-cold metal being slipped down your middle finger.

You looked down at the ring in shock.

The entire restaurant erupted into claps and whistles and congratulatory whoops.

"N' now we'll be bestest friends forever, love."

[justwearthegoddamncardigan]

Back on the platonic gladers when Thomas and newt go save minho Reader tags along (10-13), but instead of newt dying reader saves him and gets injured or dies

Hello again! Thank you for requesting, I was hoping someone would want a part 2 to Shields (read here). Hope you enjoy :)

Shields - Part 2

Set during tdc - saving Minho (movieverse)

Gladers x young! fem!reader (platonic)

Notes: this is a continuation of my other fic Shields, highly recommend you read that first. also, this fic jumps around a lot cause I couldn't string it together properly. not my best work, but hope you enjoy anyway :)

Warnings: canon-typical violence (you get injured), YOU DON'T DIE (I did not have the capacity to write that lolll). NOT PROOFREAD

"Yeah, that looks good." Harriet adjusts your grip on the gun slightly.

You've watched your friends shoot guns for months now, and you're pretty familiar with the movements and everything.

"Do I just shoot now?"

She nods. "Watch out for the kickback though, it's gonna recoil."

You hone in your gaze on the target, a piece of paper taped over a dead tree, and pull the trigger.

The bullet slices through the paper, ending up embedded in the tree bark.

Vince nods appreciatively. "Not bad; not bad at all. We could make a real fighter out of you."

You glow with the praise, turning to where your friends are grinning supportively, Frypan holding up a thumbs up.

"Nice shot, Y/n," calls Thomas.

You continue with shooting practice until your hands are sore, and then you break for lunch.

You sit with Thomas, Newt, and Frypan on the floor in an abandoned building, eating spaghetti right out of the can.

"What's the plan for today?" asks Thomas through a mouthful of food.

"We should be getting to the new base by today. It's gonna be a temporary setup, just for a year at the most."

"Then we get Minho?" you ask.

"Yeah," responds Vince. "Then we get Minho."

⭒----⭒

Months later, you plan and enact a rescue mission for Minho, which fails.

You sit on your bed, hopeless, as you lean your head into your hands.

"Thomas, we can't wait another six months," you say.

It's just the two of you, sitting in the empty sleeping room.

"I know," he says quietly. "I'm leaving tonight."

"So you know I'm coming with you?"

"Yeah, I know," his grin glows in the fading light, and you stand to pack your things.

⭒----⭒

Newt and Frypan end up coming on the mission, and you're joined by Brenda and Jorge as you start towards the Last City.

You see Gally again, who'd always looked out for you like a little sister.

"Y/n," he says in shock, the first time you hold up your gun.

"You taught her to shoot?" he whirls around to Thomas, staring accusingly.

"She's old enough to fight, and strong enough to make her own decisions," retorts Thomas.

"Guys," you interrupt exasperatedly. "Let's just find a way in, so we can get Minho."

⭒----⭒

All of that leads you to now.

"Minho!" you shout, ducking around doors looking for him.

"Y/n, over here!" Newt's voice calls from behind you.

You run over and see Thomas and Newt, and Minho.

A sob catches in your throat as you sprint up to him and leap into his arms.

"Hey," he says, giving you a grin. "Long time no see."

"Idiot," you respond, punching him in the arm.

He takes you in fully, eyes sweeping over the combat gear you're dressed in, and the gun and knife strapped to your hip.

You wait for him to berate you for coming, for being too young and too small to fight.

It never comes.

"Guess you're a warrior now, huh?" he says, giving you a small smile.

You grin back, but the moment is interrupted as the WCKD soldiers find you again.

"In here!" yells Thomas, and you all stumble into the little storeroom.

You stand back as Newt and Minho barricade the door.

"Alright, anyone got any ideas," asks Newt.

"Yeah," says Thomas, staring ominously down through the window.

You step up and see a pool of water down below, and let out a sigh. "We're gonna die," you say matter-of-factly.

"Yep," agrees Minho.

They smash a gas canister through the window, and you grab Minho's hand as you step up to the edge.

There's a loud bang as Janson's team crashes through the door. "Jump!" yells Thomas.

You leap away from the building, wind roaring in your ears as the ground gets closer, and you hit the water feet first with a smash.

⭒----⭒

You look on in concern and fear as Thomas helps Newt down inside a burning convenience store, away from the fighting rebels.

"We need to get the cure," says Thomas, gazing at his friend worriedly.

"I'll run ahead," responds Minho. "Gally can cover me."

Thomas nods. "Go."

"No," you interrupt, standing up. "We all know that cure's not gonna work. We need Teresa, and it has to be Thomas' blood."

"We can't drag 'im back there," says Minho, and you remember that he's been tortured by WCKD for months. He looks exhausted.

You shake your head. "I'll go alone. No one will stop me." You gesture to yourself. "Just a kid, right? I'll get the cure from Teresa and meet you where Brenda and Vince are."

A chorus of objections rise against you.

"Are you kidding?"

"No way, Y/n."

"Guys," you say, frustrated. "Newt's not gonna make it if we just send Minho and Gally. And Cranks are strong. When Newt Cranks out, and he will, Thomas and I will be dead first."

"I come with; I'll cover you," says Minho finally.

"What?" exclaims Thomas. "Why're you letting her do this?"

"You're the one who let her come in the first place," challenges Minho.

"No one is 'letting' me do anything," you interject.

"Hey!" calls Gally. "You better just go. We're wasting time here. I'll stay with Thomas; if Newt Cranks out, we can hold him off until you two get back."

Minho grabs Gally's walkie so you can communicate, and the two of you leave.

You run in front of him, setting the pace since you both know he'd be sprinting ahead of you.

You try and almost succeed at sweettalking your way around Ava, until she's shot by Janson.

You don't hesitate; you shoot him in the foot and run with Minho until you find Teresa.

She's bent over a microscope, and spins quickly as you and Minho run in.

"The cure," growls Minho, pointing his gun at her.

"It's almost done," says Teresa calmly, reaching for a syringe to transfer a deep blue liquid into a vial.

Minho turns, and you get an idea. "We need a ride, one of the aircraft things."

Teresa nods, expression staying infuriatingly calm. "You'll need someone to pilot it."

"Whatever," says Minho, "Just get us out of here."

As Teresa flies you across the city in a mini air-car, you grab the walkie talkie. "Thomas, you there?"

There's no response.

"Thomas, say something, please."

It takes a few more tries before the other side crackles to life.

"Y/n." Thomas' voice is scratchy and tense, and you can here his heavy breathing. "Have you guys got the cure?"

"Yeah, have you reached Vince?"

"No, listen. You need to come find us. We're in some sort of station. An open area, sheltered. Newt's Cranked out and Gally and I are struggling pretty bad. Please find us. I think- shit!"

"What? What was that? Thomas, are you okay?"

"Listen Y/n, I gotta go. Come find us!" The sound cuts off and you stand there, clutching the walkie and staring as if it'll help your friend.

"They're in some kind of station," you tell Teresa.

"Station..." she says, frowning slightly in thought.

"They said it's an open area, and it's sheltered."

"I think I might know."

Teresa pilots the air-car down and opens the doors, and you and Minho leap out.

"I can hear them!" exclaims Minho, taking off towards the station.

You sprint after them, not caring what Teresa does, and you freeze at the sight of Newt bringing a knife down on Thomas, before Gally jumps in to throw him off.

"Hold him still," you call as Minho jumps into the fight.

You prepare the cure and hold it carefully, waiting as your friends take down Newt, subduing him easily with 3 on 1.

You find Newt's neck and administer the cure, and your friends relax as he sags immediately.

None of you notice when his eyes fly open, still blown black, and he grabs his knife.

Only Thomas realises, and he does too late. "Y/n watch out!"

Newt, still Cranked out, sees you, the person who just injected him in the neck, and swings the knife at you.

As Newt stabs the knife into your side, all you know is pain.

You can only gasp the knife is yanked out and blood streams from your wound, Gally and Thomas grabbing for Newt as Minho dives towards you.

"Nononono, Y/n. No." Minho yanks his jacket off, pressing it to your side, but the blood snakes past, pooling in his hands.

Your gaze slides away, and you watch as Newt wakes up, the cure finally setting in, and his eyes land on you.

"Did I... No. Y/n!"

Your friends crowd around you, Newt cradling your head as Minho and Thomas try to stop the blood from flowing.

"I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to- Y/n, I'm so sorry." He smooths a hand on your hair, and you can feel his tears dripping onto your cheeks.

You can hear Gally yelling desperately into the walkie talkie, and Minho's repeated mutterings of "nonono, please".

"Stay with us, we're so close Y/n. I'm so sorry," Newt's head stays bowed over you, hands only moving to wipe his own tears off your face.

"It's okay," you manage to say. "W- wasn't you."

Newt shakes his head, and you hear Thomas start to shout as the blood doesn't stop.

"Come on!" he yells. "I'm not losing you too, I'm won't."

You feel your eyelids start to grow heavy.

"No!" Newt jolts your head slightly, tapping your face with his thumb. "Stay with us, okay? Just a little longer, please."

" 'm tired," you whisper.

"I know, just keep holding on."

"Hurts."

"I'm sorry, I'm so, so sorry." He looks up. "There! Vince is here, Y/n. Everyone's here, they're gonna take care of you. Just please, stay awake a little longer. Promise?"

"Okay."

You're unable to keep your promise, cause the blackness closes in, and your mind shuts off.

⭒----⭒

You awaken slowly, scrunching your eyes against the soft light of your room.

As sit up carefully, your hand comes up to brace against your side. You feel a bandage there, and the skin around it feels healed.

You swing your legs off the bed you're on, and you stand.

You push the hut door open, lifting an arm against the brilliantly bright sun, and you stare at the wide beach ahead of you. Is this the Safe Haven?

You walk out until you see your friends, standing near the beach.

Newt sees you first, a hand coming up to cover his mouth as he points you out, and then everyone's sprinting over.

Minho reaches you first, lifting you into a tight hug.

"Y/n, shuck," he mutters. "We thought we lost you."

"Hey, I'm still a little injured by the way."

Thomas pulls you in next, gentler than Minho, and he bends to look you in the eye. "Never again, okay?"

You huff out a soft laugh. "Never again."

You turn to Newt, who's watching you with half joy, and half regret.

You step up to him and wrap your arms around him, feeling him immediately melt. "If you start apologising, I'm gonna stab you," you warn.

As you're met with silence from everyone, you wince. "Too soon?"

Newt laughs. "Definitely."

After you've hugged and greeted everyone, you look out at community and buildings that have been set up. "This is the Safe Haven?"

Thomas grins at you. "Welcome home."

Sorry for the wait, hope you enjoyed!

[scrollonso]

First Kiss (Race 15)

A strollonso AU where 18 year old rookie Lance Stroll falls helplessly in love with the notoriously mean world champion. (1.3k words, seblance, so cute, then ANGST. but then fluff?) [@v3lnys @biancathecool] {I don't like the end of this but fuck it we ball!!! and now writers block starts}

last part - masterlist - next part

Lance walked into the grid with Sebastian, he was going to be driving for Sauber during free practice so the two got to catch up until then.

They'd been in karting together for years before Formula 1 was even an atainable goal for the boys but now that one was a race winner and the other was negotiating a contract it was insane. Sometimes Lance wondered if him and Nico got on so well because he'd practically grown up with Seb and the two were pretty similar.

"Scared?" Lance asked, looking down at his friend as they just wandered around the paddock, it felt nice today.

"Should I be?" The German boy laughed, overgrown blonde hair being blown all over the place as they walked

"Five Germans on the grid today, I'm scared." He laughed as well, grabbing his shoulder in response to his friend smacking him

"Piss off" Sebastian groaned, speeding up to pass Lance, smiling as he heard his foot steps speed up, the Canadian pleading for him to slow down

Sebastian did well during free practice, Lance going to the Sauber garage straigjt away to congratulate his friend

"Kumpel" He called, pulling the shorter boy into his arms as he patted his back "Good job, Sebby"

"Sebby is insane." The German laughed, hugging his friend back

"Expected you to crash" He added, smiling once Seb pushed him away, cursing at him under his breath "Joking, joking, I knew you'd do good."

Qualifying came to an end, Lance in 8th, Fernando in 10th, and Nico in 19th. A very diverse group.

"Nando" Lance said, having found his boyfriend first because he'd been to busy with Sebastian to find him any earlier

"Hola, Lancito" The Spaniard smiled, it looked like a weight had been lifted off of his shoulders just because he saw the Canadian. "How are you, mi vida?"

"I'm good" He nodded, Fernandos smile contagious. "Are you okay?"

"Si, why wouldn't I be?" Fernando questioned, not caring what place he qualified now that he was talking to Lance.

"Brad told me Quali wasn't the best for you are Fisichella, I figured you'd be upset."

"Am fine, just slower than usual. Engineers are looking at my car, not sure what is wrong." Lie.

Lance and Fernando spoke for a little longer before they began lining up on the grid, both Renault's in row 5 behind him and De La Rosa.

The race got off to a much better start but only 10 laps in Brad told him Nico was retiring, driveshaft issue, but his car seemed to be perfectly fine.

He didn't respond, just nodded to himself like Brad could see him.

In the next 20 laps both him and Fernando had managed to go up 3 and 4 spots, in 5th and 6th place respectively. Yamamoto and De La Rosa had also retired so now it was down to 19.

Another 13 laps went by smoothly, Lance and Fernando now in 4th and 5th until the Spaniard lost control and his engine blew, leaving a cloud of smoke and a worried Lance on the track

"Is Fernando okay?"

"Is Alonso the renault whos off the track?"

"Yes, is he okay?"

"He is, now focus, Lance." Brad said, unsure if the man was okay but he knew telling the Canadian that would just hurt his performance.

Lance ended the race in 4th, 8 seconds behind Robert but he couldn't bring himself to care as he went straight to looking for Fernando, his engineer telling the boy where he was.

He knocked on Fernandos drivers room, waiting for a second with no response so he knocked again "Nando?"

The door opened right away and before he could speak the Spaniard was hugging him

They spoke for a bit, going over the race together.

"You did so good, mi vida, so impressive for a rookie."

"I'm sorry about your race"

"Is okay, I do not care anyway." Lie. Fernando shrugged, simply brushing off the fact that his engine blew on track and he didn't finish.

"You don't care?" His eyebrows furrowed, wearing his emotions on his face.

"Lancito, am not sure why exactly you are upset, you finished the race in the points. I do not care about me not finishing, I simply have to try harder next week" Fernando was calm, how was he so calm. Michael Schumacher was 2 points behind him in the world championship. A seven time world champion was 2 points behind him in the world championship.

"Exactly, Nando, that's the problem! We're so close to the end of the season and you're so close to winning the world championship again and you just- you don't care? How can you not care?"

"The championship doesn't matter to me, all the media and hastle of being on the podium, is not what I look forward to, I love my job, Lancito, you know I do, but is not the only thing I have anymore." Lie.

"I know, you've said it a hundred times, Fernando. Of course I know you love racing. But I just- god I feel like it's my fault distracting you, I hate knowing that you're okay with losing because you get to see me, I hate to see you lose, you were born to win, you're too talented to give it up because of me."

"Lancito-" Fernando paused, running his hands through his messy hair "am sorry but you are wrong, that is not why I am fine with not winning, you are not at fault here, mi sol." Lie.

"Fine, but that doesn't change the fact that you have something good here, Nando, being a two time world champion is fantastic, I just-" Lance knew what he meant he just had no idea how to put it into words, he felt like the Spaniard wasn't understanding where he was coming from. He didn't want Fernando to throw anything away, he didn't want him to make any decisions where he considered Lance before his career. He loved having Fernandos attention, he loved being alone with him, he loved loving him, but the championship should be more important than that.

"Is that really what this is about? Me winning the championship?" Fernando asked, knitting his eyebrows together, somehow not surprised that the world championship is what Lance is most worried about "If this is about the title, Michael can take it. I don't want it without you."

"Fernando. Don't waste your talent because of me. You have a hunger." Lance shook his head, stepping away from him as the Spaniard desperately came after him "You're brilliant, you want to win, you want to be the best, and you are. Don't settle for second because of me."

"Okay, am sorry." Lie. He spoke softly, just wanting to end the conversation as his arms reached out and pulled the Canadian to him, one hand on the small of his back as the other stroked the boys hair, feeling how shakey his breaths were, he almost regretted lying about being sorry but now part of him was. "The rest of the season I'll be on that podium for you."

Lance didn't respond, he just settled his head in the crook of the Spaniards neck, eyes shutting as he took in the scent of the older man, embarrassed at how worked up he'd gotten himself over another persons race

"I'll win again, I'll win for us." Fernando said with false confidence, truly not caring whether he won or not. It was weird. He'd never cared about anything how he cares about Lance. He's never enjoyed losing but now he didn't mind it as long as he got to see Lance when it was over. But now he knew to never admit that to Lance so he would lie, just a little white lie.

[itscaptaint]

Good Vibrations

Pairing: Dean x reader

warnings: smut, cheesy writing, masturbation, Dean being too hot to handle

You had taken a solo case again to try and clear your mind a little bit. Living in the bunker had been great, but the alone time was pretty sparse…especially with the eldest Winchester sleeping right down the hall. 

Sam knew you had been harboring a crush on his brother for years and just wouldn't act on it because you didn't want to ruin your friendship. Dean was your best friend. Hell, he was basically just the male version of you. You were two peas in a pod. One night, the three of you had gotten blitzed after a bad vamp hunt and Sam had put the pieces together. You couldn't stop flirting with Dean, he had lingering glances towards you, it was obvious as hell to Sam, just not to either you or Dean. So you both just ignored it and went on as if there was nothing there. 

That's why a solo hunt was much needed. The sexual frustration was getting to be too much. And you knew you couldn't handle spending one more night alone with the man you wanted to jump just down the hall. If you took a case, that meant an empty motel room, a stranger from a bar and hopefully a little release to get you through for a bit. You didn't think you needed to leave too many details for the boys, just enough to know you were working and we're safe. So you left a note…

Headed out for a few days, helping out an old friend with a case in Denver, I'll call if I need rescuing.

It was a perfectly good note, at least you thought it was. Sam did too. But Dean didn't. 

"What the fuck is this?" Dean growled from the other end of the phone. 

"Well hello to you too, Dean," you chirped as you were walking into your motel room for the night. "I guess you saw my note?"

"Yeah I see the fucking note. Why didn't you ask for help?"

"Dude, I took care of it," you sighed, sitting down on your bed. "I'll be back tomorrow." 

You could tell from the tone of his voice he was more frustrated than pissed. He hated when you got hurt and couldn't do anything about it. "What if you needed help? What if you got hurt?" 

"I told you, Dean, I'm fine. Perfectly good condition. I just needed some alone time."

"Alone time?" Dean questioned. "So you decided that meant you were going to go hunting solo without backup?"

Now you are getting frustrated. He knew you could handle yourself, so why is he all concerned now? 

"Dean," you sigh. You were so tired and just wanted to sleep and take care of some personal business since the bar was a total bust. "I'm a big girl, I can handle myself, and I needed some time away from-" you started to say. 

"From what, Y/n?" 

"Good night, Dean," you sighed, hung up and turned the phone off so you couldn't be bothered for the rest of the night. Once the phone was off, you showered, changed into one of Dean's old flannels he knew you had stolen but never made a fuss over, and then gave yourself a pretty damn good orgasm thinking of Dean before falling asleep. 

When you woke in the morning, you had forgotten the phone was off, so when you plugged it in for the drive home, it automatically turned on. And started buzzing with missed texts and calls from Dean. Typically when you drive on long trips the phone rests.on your thigh so it doesn't fall between the seats or clunk around the cup holders. Sometimes it ends up between your legs and you've never thought anything of it…until now. 

You reach down, send a quick text to the boys letting them know you'll be back in a few hours, then put the phone right back on your leg so it's out of the way, but handy if needed in an emergency. About 10 minutes later it starts vibrating. You look and see that it's Dean. You just told him you were on your way home and don't feel like arguing while driving so you just let it keep ringing and go to voicemail. The last vibration of your phone that was notifying you of a missed call moves the phone just enough so that it slides down between your thighs. At least it won't fall on the floor. 

A few more minutes pass and you feel the phone start vibrating again, but this time it's right on the seam on your jeans between your legs and is sending a slight tingle to your core. You know it's Dean again so you refuse to answer and let it ring through. By the time it's done ringing, you realize that the vibration of the phone against your crotch has got you slightly turned on. 

"Son of a bitch," you mumble to yourself. "That mother fucker has me getting horny and he's not even here."

Dean calls you 7 more times before you get back to the bunker. You ignored all the calls simply for the fact that you'd been wanting Dean to make you feel good for years and it was finally happening. You don't see the Impala in the garage and decide to enjoy some peace and quiet before heading inside. No Impala, no Dean around. And no Dean around meant a perfect time to fantasize over the man that had been accidentally edging you the whole way home. 

You turn the engine off, close your eyes, lean your head back against the headrest. You let your hands wander to the place Dean had been torturing the whole ride home. It didn’t take long to finish since you were already hot and bothered and probably a good thing too since the rumble of the Impala startled you into alertness. Fuck you Winchester. Can’t even enjoy the post-orgasm bliss. You get out of the car and grab your things from the trunk. As you're reaching up to close it, Dean is at your side closing it for you. 

"You ignoring my calls, y/n?"

"Obviously," you sigh, rolling your eyes and heading inside. 

"You could have gotten hurt by yourself, why didn't you ask for help?!" Dean chases after you. 

"I'm a big girl, Dean. I can take care of myself," you shout, turning the corner to head to your room. "In more ways than one," you mumble under your breath thinking Dean was out of earshot. 

"What did you just say?” Dean interrogates, grabbing your shoulder and turning you around to face him. 

“I can take care of myself, Dean. You know that,” you say, standing a bit taller. You were in a slightly better mood after easing your frustration but still not as calm as you should be. “Now, if you would let go, I would like to shower and enjoy a day off.”

Dean rolls his eyes and releases your shoulder. “Fine. But next time I’m coming.”

“Mmhm,” you smirk and slowly shut your door. If only you were both cumming…

……….

It’s been three days since you’ve been back from your solo hunt and every little thing Dean has done has turned you on. It’s like he doesn’t know how to turn it off. You passed him in the hallway after a shower with just his towel on and wanted to just tear it from his body. The way he sipped his beer made you wish his lips and tongue were on your overly sensitive clit making you scream his name. He was even making you horny as he was mixing up the ground beef with his bare hands for burger night. Dear lord how you wished he would manhandle you the way he was dealing with your dinner.

“Alright,” you sigh, sliding your chair out from the table. “I’m headed out.” You needed a night out of the bunker. Dean’s been causing all sorts of sexual frustration and you were hoping there’d be someone at the bar to help ease the need. 

“Wait, let me grab my jacket,” Dean chirps. 

Well fuck me then. How am I supposed to get laid now with Captain Cock Block joining me. Might as well invite Sam too. You head down the hall to the library where Sam had been eating. “You wanna go to the bar with Dean and me?” Sam kind of just grunted, clearly really focused on whatever he’s reading on his laptop. “Maybe you could keep him occupied so I can get laid by a total stranger?” Sam chokes on his beer. That got his attention. 

“Seriously, Y/n?” You just shrug your shoulders and smile real big hoping it convinces him to join. “Why can’t you two just-”

“You comin’ Sammy?!” Dean practically skips around the corner. 

“He’s being a party pooper,” You stick your tongue out like a kindergartener at Sam and make a mental note to use real eggs for his breakfast tomorrow instead of just egg whites. “Let’s go. You’re driving.”

About 4 beers and 3 shots in, you decide to abort your mission for the night. Usually Dean is the one looking for a hook-up, but he doesn’t seem interested in any of the women throwing themselves at him tonight. And unfortunately, no good prospects for you either. "What do you say we take this party home and get roaring drunk in the library?" You suggest sliding out of the booth. 

"Deal." 

By the time you get back to the bunker, Dean has already decided that a drinking game was a must. Turns out his idea of a drinking game was just asking each other super personal questions, and if an answer was refused, it was time for another shot. You were up first. 

"So Dean," you say, stroking your invisible beard to appear as if you have to think real hard about this question. Little does he know you're pulling out the big guns right away. Helps that you've have a little liquid courage to loosen the tongue. "What's your favorite sex toy?" 

"Damn, y/n, you can't even ease into it, can ya," he chuckled. 

Before you can process what you were saying "That's what she said" came flying out of your mouth. 

"Jesus Christ," Dean gives a full belly laugh. "Well if you must know, I'm a simple man. Handcuffs, blindfolds, headphones, ya know…" 

"Simple, huh?" You smirk, pouring yourself another glass of tequila. You knew you were probably going to regret the drink of choice tomorrow, but oh well. 

"Never had a complaint about my simplicity before," he winks, tipping his glass in my direction. 

You could feel your face heating up, but you weren't sure if it were from embarrassment, jealousy or the fact that you knew this night would end in one of your favorite solo missions. "Alright, pretty boy," you huff, sliding deeper into your chair. "Hit me with your best shot." 

Dean doesn't even have to think about his question. "What's your favorite guilty pleasure song?" 

Wow, that was a tame one. You were really thinking he was about to hit you with something deep and raunchy. "Is it still considered a guilty pleasure if I tell you?" You question.

"Well, darling, you don't have to tell me but then it's a full tequila shot for you." 

"Fine. It's Cut to the Feeling by Carly Rae Jepson," you nod, proud of your answer. 

The questions that followed from each of you were silly and personal, but nothing wild. The "game" aspect went out the window an hour ago when Dean polished off his whiskey and you only had a few sips of Tequila left. You told Dean it was bedtime, and since you started the night, he got the final question. 

"You ever been so turned on that you came without a man even touching you?" 

"Only once," you sigh thinking of that time Dean had you all hot and bothered from the excessive phone calls on your way home earlier that week. 

"Oh I'm gonna need details on this one," Dean says, sitting up a little taller in his chair, placing his elbows on the table. You hadn't realized it but he was staring so deep into your soul just now that even though you wanted to call him out and tell him that the game was over and that wasn't a question, you couldn't. There are two ways this is going to go: it’s either going to end in you feeling more embarrassed than you’ve ever felt before, or it’s going to get you what you’ve wanted for a long time. 

You throw back the last little bit of tequila in your glass, prop your chin in your hands making eye contact with Dean and then utter the three words that will either make or break this night. “Eight missed calls.” You continue staring at Dean, a look of confusion on his face.

 He tips his chin upwards, squints and sports his best thinking face. “What about missed calls?”

“It’s truly amazing what a cell phone vibration can do for a girl,” you sigh and stand up, slowly making your way over behind Dean’s chair. He was still thinking about what you said and was trying to put the pieces together. You weren’t sure what just got into you but the thought of Dean making you feel really fucking good - and hopefully from his own touch this time - had you feeling bold. You pull out your phone and lay it down in front of him, showing your missed call log from the other day. Eight missed calls, all from him. You don’t say a word as you take a seat on the edge of the table, your thighs just inches from Dean’s hands. 

Dean didn’t need to audibly respond. You can see him take a breath in and slowly lift his gaze to meet yours. A wave of panic hit, hoping he wouldn’t give you his pity eyes. But his eyes were different. Before, they were filled with mischief and fun, now they were dark and just filled with pure lust and determination. It was a look you had been wanting to see aimed at you for a long time. You return his gaze and your breath hitches ever so slightly that he can hear the small, excited tremble. Dean’s hand reaches out and rests on your thigh. The man has barely touched you and you are already wet for him. You needed him right now and Chuck be damned if he didnt want you too with that look in his eyes. 

You reach out and cup his cheek. “Wanna see what happens when you’re actually touching me?”

“You’re fucking killing me, Y/n,” Dean groaned yanking you onto his lap and crashing his lips to yours. 

It was a sloppy kiss and you were both fighting for dominance. Dean’s hands found your waist and were already sliding your shirt up and over your breasts. You release your hands from being tangled in his hair just long enough to dispose of the trapping garment. Before the shirt hits the ground, Dean has one nipple between his teeth making you throw your head back, pressing your chest closer to him.

“Mmm, you like that?” He mutters, switching over to the other wanting breast. 

Instead of answering, you just grind down deeper onto his lap. You can tell he’s already hard and enjoying this as much as you. He brings his head back up to yours, finding your lips again allowing his hands to grip your waist and set you back on the table. Dean stands to get closer to you and you take advantage and rid him of the flannel you had been wanting to see on the floor alongside yours all night. Once shirtless, you just stare. “Like what you see? Because I know I do,” Dean smirks, diving back into you, this time reaching for the button of your jeans. You lay back and lift your hips to easily get rid of the pants that you felt were holding you hostage. 

The table was cold on your naked ass, but worth it. Dean peppers greedy kisses starting from your neck all the way down until he reaches the crease of your hip before stopping to look up at you. “Last time I made you cum, was it with my mouth, my hands or my cock?” 

Even just his words were making you squirm beneath his touch. “Well, Dean, if you must know, it was all of the above.” 

“Oh baby, then we’re making that happen again tonight. Gotta make sure I see it this time.”

His last words barely a grunt before he delves into your wet folds with his tongue immediately finding your clit. You can hear how wet you are against Dean’s mouth and know this won’t take long. Dean’s teeth latch onto your clit as he slides two fingers into you and begins stroking quickly. He’s a man on a mission and knows how to get what he wants, and Dean wants you to cum…hard. It doesn’t take much longer before you are completely screaming his name, shaking and dripping all over his mouth and hand. 

You barely have time to come down off your high before he tears his own pans off and is sliding his cock into you. “Oh my god, you feel so much better than I imagined,” you groan, falling back onto your elbows. 

“Y/n, I never want you to have to imagine the feeling of me again,” he said, thrusting as hard as he could. “You’re getting the real deal from here on out.” Dean continued thrusting until you could feel his rhythm falter. You knew he was close, as were you. 

“Dean I’m so close, please make me cum again,” you beg, reaching your hands to your breasts for something to hold on to. 

“Fuck, Y/N. Are you trying to kill me?” He groans with a final thrust sending both of you over an edge you didn’t think was possible reach. 

After you both catch your breath, Dean pulls you back up into his chest for a sweet kiss. When you pull away, he’s just smiling. 

“Why are you so happy Winchester?” 

“Because I think I won the game.” 

You just shake your head and hop off the table and start to head towards your bedroom leaving your clothes all over the library. “Woah, where are you going?” Dean throws his hands up looking like a lost child at the mall.

“To change my phone ringtone to Good Vibrations,” you shout back, before stopping and turning to look at him. “And to prep for round two.”

[jizzlords]

knowing your partner can potentially make writing together a lot easier.

– BASICS.

♡ NAME: helvetica

♡ PRONOUNS: he/him

♡  SEXUALITY: lesbian™

♡  TAKEN OR SINGLE: ✌🏾

– THREE FACTS.

♡ i've had approximately two (2) individuals pay me more than once because they liked my writing. ( 〃 ．．) it wasn't on this site. but it was fairly recent. and i'm always dumbfounded looking back at it. ♡ i've aspired to be an animator. idk how possible that is now, dark ages for artists. but i'll try. i'd like to be strong enough to pursue digital artistry. at least. this is where the cool artist friends i've met here and knew for a while come in. ♡ i think a lot of you are super fuggin cool. and are really inspirational and comedic. idk how possible it is to know everyone but i'd love to.

– EXPERIENCE.

♡   HOW LONG (MONTHS / YEARS?): 10-11 years on this site. i'm prone to sticking to muses for maybe a year to 4-5 years, it depends. :}

♡   PLATFORMS YOU’VE USED: facebook, chatango, tumblr, discord.

♡   BEST EXPERIENCE: i really like tumblr's way of rp and connecting. faulty platform aside, i've met a lot of memorable people. i have some on my twitter even though we don't write anymore, i still love seeing them. and i am fortunate enough to run into old friends again on here. sometimes we even run into the same fandom without realizing.

– MUSE PREFERENCES.

♡   FEMALE OR MALE: males ... it's usually the funky ones i'm stuck with. or the beautifully intimidating ones.

♡  FLUFF, ANGST OR SMUT: hopeless romantic. but i like all 3. since one of you said all 3 make a good story in a thread, i haven't looked at this question the same.... it's true... it makes a nice balance.

♡   PLOTS OR MEMES: both. i rely on neither but i'll partake in both. if my partner has a preference, i'll work with it. easier for me lol.

♡   LONG OR SHORT REPLIES: a fine medium. it'll progress as replies keep going. pls don't make them too short, it leaves me reaching :{ and frying my own brain lol.

♡   BEST TIME TO WRITE: when i go back to work, nights (dead late nights). but now, it flows steadily.

♡ ARE YOU LIKE YOUR MUSE(S): yea. lol. :} natural big-hearted whores.

TAGGING: @girlishgiggle, @gctchell, @vanaglcria, @ladiesofhell, @lcftcult, @prnkill, @videoaux, @k1ttyb0t, @clwngasm, @edenpoise, @spyderdust, @pridetempt, @arachnaemboss, @xluciifer, @queenhells, @helluvaflames, @hazbintales, @damnedrainbows, @discoinfernos, @chthonicrage, @yukikorogashi, @l-ucitiel, @r-adio, @pridefell, @infernalight, @filejpg, @voxistem, @helldustedstories, @fizeroli, @fizziifrxg, @the-delightful-temptation, @houseofasmodeus, @bloominghands, @spiderslvts, @outforlve i kinda wanna tag everyone not wanting anyone left out. lol. steal this if you feel comfortable answering these, i wanna know.

[multifandoms27-blog]

It's time to d-d-dress up!

Halloween is probably my favorite holiday. I really like horror and being scared. You could say I'm a thrill seeker. Anyway, enjoy this filler while I work on other stuff lol

• ───────────────── •

Content: Various Yugioh people x gn!Reader

Warnings: Sexual themes (Yami Marik) but no actual sex so it's still SFW, unsure whether or not Yami Marik's fake blood is actual blood

Notes: Halloween is my favorite holiday. I wish I could do this for every fandom I write for, but that'd be too much for me right now, sadly. I'll probably do one or two more, but that's about it

• ───────────────── •

❥Yugi Muto

You and Yugi would obviously go with a couples costume.

He would be the dark magician, and you would either be dark magician girl or celtic guardian (they get shipped the most with dark magcian)

You two probably wouldn't trick or treat, probably just party with your friends while helping grandpa hand out candy

Would kiss you as much as you were comfortable with, because you just look so pretty/handsome to him

He's also grateful that you decided to match with him this year

Takes a shit ton of selfies to remember this moment and to post on his story/social media

Before Halloween, he probably would have spent all of October decorating the shop with you

Would absolutely want to make certain cut out cookies with you, he thinks the ghost ones are cute

Very wholesome Halloween. 100/10.

• ───────────────── •

❥Atem

You already know mans isn't original with Halloween costume ideas

He'd go as an Egyptian Pharaoh and would like it if you went as his queen/king, though he wont force you

He wont know what Halloween is about until you tell him, he's just a confused old man lol

He would love being in Pharaoh-like clothing again after so long. He'd proably try tanning the entirity of October, then be confused when there isn't much of a difference.

Help him, he's trying his best lol

Would also help you decorate if you asked, but he'd be asking questions non stop about the meaning of lights and window stickers. He doesn't take "tradition" or "it's fun" as an answer lol

A little annoying, but still wholesome. 8/10.

• ───────────────── •

❥Seto Kaiba

Seto isn't crazy about Halloween. It's six days after his birthday, that's the only way he remembers the holiday exists every year.

Because he's not crazy about the holiday, he hasn't dressed up for it since his parents were alive

Mokuba still dresses up, and he tries his hardest to get Seto to as well, but it just never happens. You're not an exception, unfortunately

Unless you get a blue eyes white dragon onesie.

He'll go as himself then, and you're his trusty dragon

Otherwise, he won't care about dressing up and will let you go as whatever, so long as its outside of the scandalous range. He's very much in the public eye, remember? He's also a raging virgin, so leave the risque costumes for private time

He'll probably especially enjoy it if you tell him it doubles as a birthday present

Either very funny or very boring. 5/10.

• ───────────────── •

❥Joey Wheeler

He'd probably be the cheesiest motherfucker out of them all

Would definitely have you two go as matching vampires or werewolves

He has such a generic look on horror and monsters in general

Dude you literally play duel monsters, there's more than just vampires and werewolves-

Would buy cheap fake blood that ends up staining your skin for a week after.

It would also strangely taste like apples?

You should probably go to a hospital after the party

Halloween with Joey is accidentally lethal. My kind of party. 10/10.

• ───────────────── •

❥Marik Ishtar

Dude I have no fucking idea what he'd be, and therefore neither would he lol

He has 0 creativity when it comes to this, so usually he'll turn to you for costume ideas

Would also be like Joey with the cheesy, overdone costumes

I can really only see him being werewolf and you being little red riding hood

He'd probably get a kick out of that, in multiple ways...

Marik doesn't understand Halloween decorations, but if it makes you happy, he guesses he'll help you put stuff up

Absolutely sneaks candy for himself though

Pretty average Halloween. 5/10.

• ───────────────── •

❥Yami Marik

Absolutely a vampire. No. Shh. Shut up. I am taking ZERO criticism on this one.

He takes it all the way. He's basically a blond, Egyptian dracula lol

He'll probably have you not dress up so he can be the vampire that corrupts you

He takes it a little too far, biting your neck with his fake fangs in

He also sprays fake blood on himself and everywhere else, but you're not entirely sure it's fake blood...

Like Marik, he also sneaks candy for himself, but very openly. He knows you can't do anything to him anyways

Yami Marik will help you put up decorations once he learns just how spooky Halloween is supposed to be

If you were hoping for a cuter Halloween, where children weren't afraid of approaching your house, then kick Yami Marik out until Halloween is over lol

Terrifying Halloween, but a great 'afterparty.' 7/10.

• ───────────────── •

Here is my Masterlist in case you want to request, or look for more of your favorite character!

[destinygoldenstar]

☀️SHAKING SCREAMING CRYING THROWING UP-☀️ - Total Drama Viewer Reacts to Disventure Camp Season 1 Episode 10 “Medal Of Dis-honor”

💗🍉Cuties, that's what they are🍉💗

There's no Jam emoji so I'm using watermelon instead.

I've jinxed how many people now with these headings?

This time, I'm kind of expecting Tom to go this episode. I'll be surprised if he's not. So like, at least I can CONTROL the jinx I guess?

Whatever. They're happy. That's what matters. They're leaving the show, somber goodbye after this elimination, and after the show they're gonna get Chinese and watch the sunset by the lake.

But yeah, I think this heading is jinxing their separation due to elimination. Fiore and Alec are DEFINATELY finding an idol, and that's gonna get Tom out. And Jake and Ellie, being good friends, are gonna agree "We gotta take them out."

That's my prediction, anyway.

Both my best girls left back to back. Someone's gotta avenge them.

So, let's get into it.

Oh they're actually strategizing. Okay.

"Hey, we're outnumbered, maybe voting off Grett wasn't a good idea... even if there wasn't any way we could've saved her."

"Even if we can persuade Ellie to vote with us, we need someone else."

Which she won't do cause YOU GUYS betrayed her TWICE

"We must find a way to divide them."

Get them to split the votes on you two maybe?

"Hey, you shouldn't vote me! Vote Alec! He's the bigger threat!"

Then Alec can tell another person the same thing!

And if you ARE gonna convince Ellie to vote with you (somehow), that's 3-2-1, and BOOM. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.

...I keep saying I'm bad at this game, but think about it.

"But they won't listen to them"

Okay, then SHOWCASE your abilities in front of their faces and paint two narratives on who is the bigger threat.

"I recall Grett saying something about Jake having some drama with his ex."

"We can use that to our advantage!"

"From what I've seen, Jake isn't exactly the sharpest tool in the shed."

OOOOHHH...

Oh NOW I know what they're gonna do.

And they KNOW Jake is gonna fall for it because of said trauma being ignited...

You two are BALLSY for PERSONALLY SCREWING WITH SOMEONE'S PTSD.

"But first, we have to give Ellie back on our side."

She WON'T. If she's SMART, she WON'T.

YOU TWO HAVE BETRAYED HER TWICE

I think convincing JAKE to vote with you is a better option if I'm being honest. And he might not even be AWARE he's voting with the villains.

"Miriam, these cupcakes are delicious!"

THOSE DON'T LOOK APPETIZING.

But look at them! Look at them being so cute!

"How old are you?"

"Rude to ask a woman her age, but I am seventy two years old."

I WAS CLOSE.

First episode I said 70. I WAS CLOSE.

"Ellie, can we talk?"

"No."

"Why? So you can betray me again?"

Yeah exactly. She ain't stupid!

NO. DON'T GO WITH HIM. I JUST SAID YOU WEREN'T STUPID-GODDAMMIT.

"Don't forget LYING to me AND voting out Gabby!"

THANK YOU.

"This game is much more than grudges or friendships."

"Meanwhile, we're planning to toy with one of your friend's grudges and friendships."

Just saying, there's A LOT of ways you can play this without getting into personal stuff and psychologically torturing someone.

But they're villains, so you know, they would do this.

"But I want you to consider what happens once me and Fiore are voted out."

FINAL FOUR. It LIKELY wouldn't matter if it was social status.

PLUS I think Miriam would gladly take an L for these kids.

So no, your point does not work.

"Fine. I'll think about it."

"But if I'm gonna flip, I'm don't have to hurt them personally. I have more dignity than to stoop that low!"

So... if she IS siding with them, (which I dont agree with), she's gonna protest hurting Jake THAT way, but reluctantly do it, and she's gonna come clean once it's over out of guilt and apologize and realize her mistake.

I DO NOT see Ellie as this sociopathic emotional manipulator that will stoop to Fiore's level of psychologically tormenting people for her own selfish benefit.

There's a way to win this game and NOT hurt people that way. JUST SAYING.

"I trust that you're smart enough to make the right choice here."

And that's NOT ditching the majority alliance you're apart of because THESE FOLKS CAN'T BE TRUSTED.

I DON'T KNOW. THAT'S JUST MY THOUGHTS.

Oh good god that's a lot of challenges.

Well this is gonna be a long episode.

How is it raining? Wasn't it CLEAR at night just a minute ago?!

"Looks like the Disventure Camp gods are not having a good night."

Are you talking about me? Cause I didn't do that this time.

What happens if it's a tie?

ACTUALLY THAT WOULD MAKE SENSE IF THEY'RE FORCING ELLIE TO FLIP

"Well shit, they both have immunity. Guess I HAVE to flip to save myself. Sorry guys."

THAT makes sense.

"There, you can look for a newly buried immunity totem."

CALLED IT!

I didn't think TOM would find this though.

"I didn't come here to play the game, but I'm glad I did cause I got to meet Jake."

Aw, that's sweet.

Yeah, Tom's not gonna take it personally if you vote him off. He's not winning anyway.

He will gladly give this idol to save Jake, any day.

"How are you doing Jake?"

"I've been trying to knock over this stupid vase for five minutes!"

You sound like me in math class fr.

"I've been trying to solve this math problem for THREE HOURS."

"Why don't you teach me and I'll get us both necklaces?"

Yeah. That's sweet.

See? He's not selfish. He's helping.

This is so cute, I love them 💗

THE GRANDCHILD SHE NEVER HAD!

"So this is what it's like to have a grandson."

💗

"I found the clue to the location of an immunity totem. It should be right here."

NO WHY WOULD YOU TELL HER THAT-

Okay he doesn't know of her thinking about flipping, to be fair. But still.

"I sure hope no one STEALS this idol or anything!"

They're gonna steal it.

Ellie's gonna tell Fiore & Alec, "Hey guys, I know how to save you guys. Tom has an idol. Steal it from him and use it for the council."

That's definitely a plan!

CAN YOU TELL I'M PARANOID SINCE THE START OF THIS EPISODE?

"This is Golden speaking in your head. There are impersonal ways to play this game and save yourselves. You DON'T have to hurt Jake that way. DON'T YOU DARE. I WILL give him slay pass and I WILL torment you the rest of this season!"

"COME ON! Why Jake?! What did he ever do to you?!"

"This is not good. That totem gives Tom more power than he already has."

THEN STEAL IT.

PROBLEM SOLVED.

"That money will fund my dreams of fashion school! No more sleepless nights, barely making rent, working from dawn to dusk... whatever I need to do to win, I'll do it!"

I DO sympathize with Ellie.

I don't want to make this come across like I don't. THAT is a perfectly understandable and routable motive to want to win.

But you gotta ask yourself: What do you mean by 'whatever it takes?' Are you really willing to destroy your morals, relationships, and put people in bad mental places, to make this happen?

IS THAT WORTH IT??

And I'm not even saying she shouldn't side with the villains if that's a game move that works for her. There's just a dozen impersonal ways to play this game.

You can win, AND keep your friendships!

Just find out who the target is, steal the idol from Tom when he isn't looking, use it to prevent the tie, and then FLIP.

He's got it!

"I need to ask about the votes tonight."

Okay she's gonna tell them.

"If I vote with you, won't it just end in a 3-3 tie?"

"Not if we find a way to split that alliance."

OR STEAL THE IDOL.

"You talk to Jake a lot, you must have noticed how insecure he is."

"If you can trick him by telling him some lie about Tom, he'll surely believe it."

SHE'S NOT GONNA DO THAT.

JUST STEAL THE IDOL. YOU KNOW WHO HAS IT.

"But how would they steal the idol?"

Just tell Tom and Jake to go hang out and be all cute, like go swimming or something. Tom will have to leave his stuff behind for that. And when they're gone, STEAL THE IDOL.

"But he'll notice"

MAKE A FAKE ONE AND SWAP THEM.

Ellie KNOWS what these idols look like. Gabby used one for her!

YOU DON'T HAVE TO HURT JAKE.

"Is that gullible idiot's friendship worth losing a million dollars? And for what? To go back to the same pathetic life again?"

😬

Goddammit Fiore...

She's gonna do this? Isn't she?

Well this is FIORE'S plan, so I can't really blame Ellie...?

So yeah, the hate goes to Fiore. Ellie's just trying to survive.

"There's no other way Ellie."

I CAN THINK OF SEVERAL OTHER WAYS AT THE TOP OF MY HEAD-

"SHUT UP GOLDEN, VILLAINS DON'T LISTEN TO YOU."

...I'm gonna save this till the end.

Cause YES, this is A LOT of ways she can survive and NOT do this.

"If I do this, I want something in return."

"I want two necklaces."

I mean what makes the difference if Ellie gets immunity? She's not a target for the other guys right now.

"If I win immunity, I'll vote for whoever you tell me."

And so she's turned...

Goddammit.

I do understand WHY though... I don't agree with it, but I understand WHY she'd want to do this.

"I'll also make sure Jake never trusts Tom again."

WHAT?! NO!!!

YOU DON'T HAVE TO GO THAT FAR!!!!!

JUST STEAL THE IDOL FROM TOM AND FLIP

I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SAY THIS ALL THROUGHOUT THE EPISODE

YOU DON'T HAVE TO DESTROY SOMEONE'S RELATIONSHIP!!

Oh god...

This is totally why they're targeting Jake as well because they KNOW he'll get paranoid.

I don't care what anyone says. I WILL say it. Whatever happens for the rest of this episode. NONE of it is Jake's fault.

It's Fiore. HATE ON FIORE FOR STOOPING THIS LOW.

...I am going to hate this episode, aren't I? Strap yourselves in.

"I trust that Ellie won't throw her own game with her silly friendship with Jake."

Watch her actually do that and own up to this.

"Yeah, um... so I REGRET what I did. And I would rather us be friends and win this together than split apart and become a monster like Fiore."

Again, Ellie is NOT a sociopath...

Right...? She's not a sociopath...

RIGHT??

AWWWWW 😢💗

OH THAT'S SO SWEET, OMG

DON'T DO THIS TO ME. THEY WERE WORKING THINGS OUT! THEY WERE DOING WELL!!

LEAVE THEM ALONE

I don't want them to be pissy again 😭

Why is Fiore shivering?

No. I don't feel bad for you. FREEZE.

"Tom possibly has an immunity totem."

Okay. Steal it.

"We need a plan to counter it."

NO YOU DON'T. STEAL IT.

STEAL THE FUCKING IDOL

Oh boy...

Guys, I already KNOW this is gonna BREAK me. So HEADS UP.

We're not even halfway through the episode. This is gonna be UGLY.

"I heard something I shouldn't have... I'm sorry Jake, this may not be the right time, but..."

*DREAD*

"Have you seen that Tom has a radio?"

"I saw him using it in private. I heard him talking to his... boyfriend."

*DREAD*

I HATE IT CAUSE THAT'S SO PERFECT TO MAKE JAKE PARANOID WITH...

GODDAMMIT

"He said some horrible things about you. Things I can't repeat."

YEAH THIS IS GONNA TRIGGER SOME SHIT FOR HIM

(I don't think I need to tell anyone this, but for morality sake. DON'T EVER DO THIS. If you aware someone has PTSD and anxiety, and you know their specific triggers. Don't ever trigger it. For any reason. You are screwed up if you ever think this is a good idea to use on people. You can SERIOUSLY HURT the person in one way or another.)

"The second this season ends, he'll be out of all our lives."

*DREAD*

That's what Tom said about his spy mission too...

"No... he wouldn't say that. Maybe you heard wrong."

Oh?

He's NOT gonna believe it??

Okay I didn't expect that. I expected him to be stupid and fall head first into it. But he's ACTUALLY QUESTIONING this.

"Trust me Jake, you're my friend, and I'm only saying this because I don't want you to get heartbroken."

OOOOOWWWWWW...

"Tom is a scumbag. You can't trust him."

GODDAMMIT ELLIE. DON'T MAKE ME HATE YOU. I WAS LIKING YOU. DON'T DO THIS.

Why Jake, man?! I get he's an easy target. Why him?!

*coughs laughter*

Okay you can't make that up.

"Tom's a scumbag."

"I got breakfast!!" 💗😄

"Jake, those fish are poisonous! He's trying to KILL YOU!"

"Fish? Is that really what you were up to?"

Oh boy, here we go...

"Don't you get tired of lying to my face?!"

Goddammit...

"...huh?"

*snicker*

"HUH?"

Oh god... I get it though. I get why Jake would believe this.

"Jake's being his usual self."

That's his usual self? He yelled ONCE before, AND apologized for it MULTIPLE TIMES.

"Jake's so gullible! He believes everything he's told! After all this time, you'd think he'd at least talk to me about it!"

Okay, I'm gonna defend here. I'm sorry if this annoys you.

When Grett told Jake Tom was a spy, he actually DIDN'T instantly believe that. He thought it was a joke. It was only when Tom blew his own cover and said the wrong thing that he realized she was telling the truth.

That is the ONLY incident throughout the season that MIGHT imply Jake as this 'gullible moron'. And even THEN, 'gullible moron' implies he believed that shit right away, when he DIDN'T.

And I'm not using a headcanon. There's TEXT PROOF.

2) He JUST yelled at you and Ellie dragged him away. "You'd think he'd talk to me about it". Yeah. He WOULD.

IF HE IS GIVEN THE CHANCE.

BUT CURRENTLY, HE IS NOT.

3) Jake DIDN'T instantly believe Ellie. She had to gaslight it further for it to work and had to drive home some personal shit to get him to snap. Which, snapping like that, IS a PTSD response to a trigger.

If Ellie ONLY said "Tom cheated on you lol" and that was all it took, then YES, YOU'D HAVE A POINT.

Look, if THIS is the episode that is supposed to trigger me to despise Jake or something, IT'S NOT WORKING.

I mean, WHY would he believe a FRIEND over TOM?! THAT MAKES NO SENSE. TOM DIDN'T LIE ABOUT SHIT TO JAKE AND HAS BEEN COMPLETELY 100% HONEST WITH HIM THE ENTIRE TIME.

OH WAIT.

THIS IS A GASLIGHTING PLOT. PLAIN AND SIMPLE. AND YOU'RE GONNA BLAME THE PERSON BEING GASLIT?!

Okay. Sure.

Look, I'm not saying Jake is flawless. Hell no. And I'm not even saying he's doing the right thing here. HELL NO. I'm saying it's believable he'd act this way given what we know about his character, and it's not the fault of him, it's the fault of the people gaslighting him to act like that.

If he acted this way WITHOUT their help. That'd be a different story.

But he's not. So... am I supposed to hate him now??

"I know Jake can be dense, but he's a good boy."

"You keep on saying that, but he never learns!"

Learn WHAT?

To talk to people and tell them everything that's happening? He's been doing that throughout the season FAR MORE THAN YOU, TOM.

I'm not hating Tom, btw. Just making a point.

If he's gotta learn something, then teach him "Choose who you trust." "Don't let your emotions get the better of you." "Don't let other people take advantage of your paranoia and anxieties to control you." "Sometimes the problem is you and you have to apologize and make things right." "Don't be stupid."

Just so you can't say "Golden is completely ignoring Jake's flaws." NO I'M NOT.

And "NEVER" learns? THIS IS THE SECOND TIME. WHAT DO YOU MEAN "NEVER"?

"Does my care and affection mean nothing to him?"

Aw, Tom. I'm sorry.

It means the world to him! JUST TALK.

"Every day I'm here, I like being around Jake less and less..."

What?

You guys kissed last episode. You spent a month in a zombie apocalypse together.

Where the hell is this coming from?

He yelled at you TWO TIMES. And the first time he tried to make it up to you.

And it just cuts. Okay. Sure.

"Yeah! Fuck Jake! He's a piece of shit! I guess..."

Are we seriously gonna say this whole thing is ALL Jake's fault?

Cause um... NO.

"Why do they always see me as an idiot they can lie to?!"

"I don't know."

Ellie says as she treats him as an idiot she can lie to.

"I should confront Tom."

SEE?!?!?! WHAT HAVE I BEEN SAYING?!?!?!?!

"But last time, I promised he we had problems, we would talk things through. Something's not right. Tom would never do this to me."

ATTA BOY.

HE'S AT LEAST 'TRYING' TO THINK STRAIGHT.

He's still not, but that's on Ellie for gaslighting him to not think straight.

If she wasn't gaslighting him to think irrationally. It would be a different story.

"He's been lying to you, and you're worried about keeping your promises? He's cheating on you Jake. It seems like he's been cheating for a long time."

🔥"Lemme just uh, casually ignite some more fuel to this fire. Hey Jake, remember when you got cheated on in the past? Remember how much that HURT you and DEVASTATED you? Doesn't it HURT BEYOND BELIEF?! DON'T YOU WANT TO BUILD YOUR WALLS AND NEVER TALK TO ANOTHER GUY AGAIN?!?!"🔥

"So he's been making me make these promises so he could keep me under control?"

"I'm an idiot!"

"You're not Jake."

"I'm just gaslighting you to BE an idiot."

Fuck you Ellie.

I think she's gonna regret it though and try and make up for this.

"I feel so bad that I have to lie to Jake, but I know when I win the million dollars, it'll all be worth it."

Right, so she's just ditching her morality AND her friendships for money.

I get it. But WOW.

(This is a LONG Tribal Council. And there's a lot of screaming going forward. So... there's your warning.)

Elimination already? Damn...

This is gonna be UGLY...

"I did my part. Now who are we going to vote for?"

You know what the weird part is? I don't even know how this benefits you guys.

Tom has an idol.

You didn't even have to gaslight Jake. You could've just stole the idol.

I'm pretty sure the game NEVER said that the person who got the idol was the only one who could play it.

😭Just steal the goddamn idol...😭

"Vote for Jake."

What?

Oh my god, what are you doing??

Why gaslight him then?!?!?!

"Jake, we need to talk."

"Fine. I guess I should give you a chance to explain yourself."

PLEASE. PLEASE TALK.

NOOOOO DAMMIT

Don't break them up, please... 😭🙏

"I don't know what's wrong with Jake this time, but I'm sure it was your fault."

YES. YES IT WAS.

So they are voting Jake...

So they're gonna keep their mouths shut and not worry about the idol?

I mean if they don't know Jake's in danger, they can't play the idol, right?

I THINK that's what they're doing.

"Wait. I have something to say to Tom."

...what are you doing?

"It's about Jake and all the drama surrounding him."

What are you doing? I thought you were gonna keep your mouth shut.

What's your plan? You WANT Tom to realize you're using Jake?

"Oh wait, shit! It wasn't Jake's fault this time! Welp, guess our alliance is back!"

But they already voted, so... goddammit...

"I care because it was all a lie."

"Ellie told Jake that Tom has a boyfriend and he was cheating on him. She kept them from speaking to each other all day."

WHAT IS YOUR PLAN HERE?!?!?!?

WHAT WAS THE POINT OF GASLIGHTING JAKE THEN?!?!?!?!

"Wait, what?! Is this true?!"

Oh shit now he realizes.

"Goddammit Jake, you promised you would talk to me this time!"

DID YOU NOT HEAR HER?! ELLIE WAS PREVENTING HIM FROM DOING THAT!!!!

IF HE COULD, HE WOULD HAVE.

WHY ARE YOU GETTING MAD AT JAKE?!?!

"Tom, I didn't know! I tried to talk to you, but Ellie told me not to!! Please you have to believe me!!!"

HONEY NO...

"Why are you listening to her?!"

"I thought I could trust her. I'm sorry Tom..."

"And you didn't think you could trust me?! After everything we've been through?!"

💔

I mean, okay, that is valid. That is on Jake.

"Children, children, stop fighting please!!"

Aw Miriam 💔😢

"Wait, this doesn't end here."

OH MY GOD WHAT NOW?!?!?

"Tom, we know about your totem."

WHAT IS YOUR PLAN HERE?!?!?! I DON'T UNDERSTAND.

DO YOU WANT TO GET ELIMINATED?!?!?

"Alec, Ellie, and I voted for Jake. So if you don't use your totem to save your little dumb boyfriend, he's gone tonight."

WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!?!?!?

SO YOU'RE ASKING TOM TO USE THE IDOL. WHY?!???!! THAT SCREWS YOU OVER.

Unless she's lying and she and Alec flipped...

But THAT WOULD BE EVEN WORSE.

You betray Ellie, YET AGAIN. You LOSE HER as an ally.

Unless you're trying to boot her and have her be 5th place. BUT THEN YOU HAVE JAKE AND MIRIAM AS AN ALLIANCE TO WORRY ABOUT.

YOU DON'T NEED TO DO THIS. YOU DON'T NEED TO GASLIGHT JAKE. YOU DON'T NEED TO SAY ANY OF THIS SHIT.

Just convince Ellie to be on your side to get her to flip, vote for who you want out, convince Tom & Jake to go do something that forces Tom to leave the idol behind...

AND THEN. STEAL. THE. MOTHERFUCKING. IDOL.

THAT IS THE EASIEST AND CLEANEST SOLUTION TO ALL YOUR DAMN PROBLEMS.

AND YET YOU CHOOSE TO DESTROY THESE PEOPLE INSTEAD AND MAKE THINGS TOO BLOODY COMPLICATED.

WHAT THE FUCK IS YOUR PROBLEM?!?!?!?!?

"I'm sorry, I just can't leave here 4th place. I know if I stuck with you guys, I'd never make the finals."

"And you decided you'd mess with my personal trauma just to get further in the game?!"

YESS!! BE PISSED!!!!!!! CALL HER OUT!!!!!

"You're screwed up Ellie. You need help!"

"Actually... yes."

*snicker* Okay, that was good.

"I don't ever want to talk to you again!"

"No need to yell like that."

UM, LET'S BE HONEST. I THINK JAKE DESERVES TO BE VOCAL HERE. HE WAS GASLIT BY YOU GUYS.

"Times running out Tom. What'll it be?"

Don't play it Tom.

They're tricking you. Don't play it.

Though that's kinda bad on his end, cause that'd be him saying "Nah, fuck you Jake. Go to the bus and drive it to hell."

"Tom, please, I know I've been bad, but I promise, if you save me, we can talk tomorrow and work things out!!"

I don't think that's gonna happen...

He's begging so bad here 😭

You screwed up Jake. You screwed up...

"What's stopping you from believing another lie they tell you tomorrow?"

Insert my rant before here.

"Tom, I get that you're mad at Jake, but if he goes, you and I will go right after."

No I don't think that's how it's gonna work...

My heart is HURTING right now btw. I'm actually shaking.

"Why are you so relaxed?! If Tom plays the idol on Jake, we're screwed!"

EXACTLY. WHAT'S YOUR PLAN HERE?!??!?!?! IT MAKES NO SENSE.

"Can I please read the votes people?!"

The host is just done with it...

"I'm going to use my totem to save Jake."

Aw....

Even after everything he loves you... 😭

No...

They flipped. They HAD to have flipped...

Oh no...

*I'm burying my face in my hands to hold back wet eyes*

They flipped.

She's so unbothered. They flipped.

They flipped.

*DREAD* THEY FLIPPED.

Is the next one Tom?

I KNEW IT

I KNEW IT OH NOOOOOOO...

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO😭

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH

I have a bad feeling... Jake voted Tom cause he was mad.

He was trying to throw his vote on Tom to save the trouble, AND IT BACKFIRED HORRIBLY.

*Buries face in hands again*

I can't... I can't... no...

"I wonder whose fault that was."

Yeah...

"Tom, I'm sorry, please, you have to forgive me-"

"SHUT UP."

"YOU AND I ARE DONE. DON'T EVER SPEAK TO ME AGAIN."

💔😭💔

Oh my god...

Oh my god no...

No...

Oh god...

So... I'm not welling up bawling or anything...

But I am SHAKING.

I am SCREAMING.

I am on the verge of CRYING.

I fell nauseous, so add THROWING UP on that list too.

I'm so upset.

I mean I get it, villains gotta villain, but holy shit...

They were doing so well too. They could've been so great together!

THEY COULD'VE GOTTEN CHINESE TOGETHER LIKE THEY WANTED

GODDAMMIT...

This is some shit Heather would do.

And did.

I mean... compare that episode to this episode as much as you'd like. I don't really care.

My heart is actually sunken right now.

That hurt.

I think this elimination broke me.

WHAT THE FUCK DID I JUST WATCH?!

Is Jake pissed? He's gotta be.

"The plan worked out great. We kicked out the biggest threat in challenges, the totem was misused, and now Jake hates Ellie."

YOU SUCK FIORE. I HATE YOU.

I HOPE YOUR KARMA COMES SOON.

"I was playing with fire when I sided with Fiore and Alec. I should have seen through their tricks."

Yeah Ellie. YOU TOO.

Though I don't necessarily HATE YOU, cause you were just following a plan, but GOOD LORD YOU FUCKED UP YOUR ENTIRE GAME.

WHY WOULD YOU SIDE WITH THE BACKSTABBERS YET AGAIN?!?!

AND NOW BOTH SIDES WANT YOU GONE.

YOU ARE AN IDIOT. I'M DONE SAYING YOU'RE NOT.

"I won't rest until Ellie is sitting on the bus of losers!"

👏

YES JAKE! GET REVENGE!!!!!!!

So... yeah. We stan Jake in this household. And he deserves this.

He gets slay pass from me.

And he BETTER get revenge!!!

I SUPPORT HIM.

He's stupid, but I SUPPORT HIM.

🔥OPERATION GET REVENGE ON ELLIE IS A GO!🔥

...and I deserve it too because I put them in the heading and destroyed their ship with it. So you know what?

🔥OPERATION GET REVENGE ON GOLDEN IS A GO!🔥

Awww Tom 😭

I'm so sorry Tom. YOU DID NOT DESERVE THAT.

I SHOULDN'T HAVE PUT THEM IN THE HEADING.

I SUNK THE SHIP.

I wish I could give you a virtual hug but I'm out of images... 😭

I WOULD be happy to see Gabby again, but also... I'm too upset right now 😂😭

Oh my god...

You know, I compared that to the TDI Episode for a reason. I see the similarities. The one where Trent gets booted.

And THAT was my least favorite episode of that season too!

...okay I mostly just hate THIS episode because of the feels. So it's completely subjective. Objectively I'd have to think about it.

I mean at least in this one there wasn't any sexual harassment involved. So that's a plus.

Um... so couple things.

Ellie flipped. Didn't see that coming.

I'm very mixed on how I feel about this.

On the one hand, I think her plan was dumb. This is the THIRD TIME Fiore & Alec betrayed her. And by the first time, stretching the second, she should've known damn well that siding with them was a bad idea and would lead to an even worse outcome than if she stayed with the Tom Jake & Miriam alliance. If she stayed with them and they were final four, yeah she probably would've been next pick to go, but also, she doesn't know what the Final Four challenge is. There could not be an elimination ceremony. If it's a sudden death round, then I'd say she'd beat Jake no problem. And even if there was an elimination ceremony, Tom wasn't here to win, Jake lost his motive, and Miriam turned over a new leaf. If you were all on good terms, one of them would've understood and dropped out for her sake as a sign of friendship. Course I can't guarantee that, but think about your odds with Fiore and Alec, two people known for betraying and screwing people over. Take your pick. And by doing all... THIS. BOTH SIDES don't want her, and now unless she gets immunity, SHE'S FUCKED.

On the other hand, she has a sympathetic motive. I can admit that. She has a reason for what she does, and it's completely understandable. Her lifestyle and circumstance sucks. And she NEEDS this money more than anyone else. So yeah, she has to play the game the best and most strategic way she can with the hand she's been dealt. And in circumstances of the social game, there was a disadvantage she had. So her resorting to "I'll do WHATEVER IT TAKES to win that money" IS a very interesting route to take for a character in this kind of show. And I am very fond of that idea.

Are you willing to ditch your morals and your relationships to get that money? It seems like to her, that answer is yes.

I DO NOT HATE ELLIE. Okay? I get her POV and I took it to account. This is a VERY complicated situation.

My problems aren't with Ellie as a character, my problem is the strategy she decided to go with.

I already said this, but there's gameplay, and then there's being personal. Which that DEFINATELY was. She re-ignited a guy's traumas that she KNEW about, just for her own selfish benefit. She ruined his relationship. She REALLY broke him mentally. IT IS NOT OKAY.

Cause let me say this: It is possible for her to have been strategic, AND not personally hurt anyone with it.

There were A LOT OF WAYS, actually.

Stay in the Tom/Jake/Miriam alliance and make it to the Final 4. They're good people who are taking the time to understand you, and so long as you are on good terms with them, you're more likely to make them helpers to your victory rather than as enemies to defeat.

"But what if she can't trust that and Fiore and Alec is the better option?" Okay, then flip. Cause a tie. So long as they think you're on their side, they won't vote you, they'll vote either Fiore & Alec. You can explain your reasoning in the tiebreaker and claim you'll side with whoever wins said tiebreaker.

"But what if a tiebreaker is too risky and you have to have Fiore & Alec's side win?" Then lie and deceive to all three members of the other alliance. Make them think "Oh, Fiore is the better option to vote" "Alec is the better option to vote", so there's no communication. Jake is at least gullible enough to believe something like that. So he throws his vote, your 3 vote with Fiore & Alec is the majority, and one of the people in the other alliance get out.

"But what about the idol?" In this universe, Tom got the idol. He told Ellie he was getting it. She could've convinced Tom "Hey, give that to me, I need it more and I can help you if you take me to the finale." If Tom agrees, you have an idol and you are in a much more protective position than you were previously.

"But what if Tom doesn't want to give anyone his idol?" Are you ready for it?

STEAL. THE. FUCKING. IDOL.

The game NEVER says that the one who finds it is the only one who can use it. So if you STEAL it, you can use it to nullify the other alliance's votes and get someone there the boot instead.

You didn't need to pull any of this flipping bullshit that Fiore & Alec did here. It was a complication that was not necessary.

"But what if Tom doesn't ever part with his idol?" Then MAKE HIM part with it! Invite Tom and Jake to go swimming or something, a situation that forces Tom to not take the idol with him, and when no one is in the cabin, make an excuse to leave, and steal the idol.

"But what if Tom notices the idol is gone?" Make a fake idol. Ellie knows what the idols look like. Gabby used one for her. You can find some twigs and sticks to craft a fake one. You can swap out the two.

And if you're really gonna side with Fiore and Alec, which again, is not the option I would go with but whatever, then you successfully get one of the other alliance's members out, and you get majority and power. AND you don't sour any relationships that put a TARGET ON YOUR BACK.

I'm just saying, there WAS a way out of this mess.

She CHOSE to go along with Fiore's plan to hurt Jake and Tom to that degree. So either she's stupid for thinking there was no other way, or she's a sociopath.

And when it comes to Jake, I would ESPECIALLY not go the personal route because Jake is a very emotional person! You hurt him to that degree, HE WILL GUN FOR YOU AND YOU WILL NEED TO SLEEP WITH ONE EYE OPEN TONIGHT 🔫

This is a pretty morally complicated situation. Fiore's obviously the worst of them all and she's a psychopath and she did everything wrong morally. That's something I think we can all agree on without much argument.

And Jake...

Um, with some of the scenes and discussions in this episode, I FEEL like this episode is trying to make me HATE Jake. They keep slandering him quite a bit here.

And like... he WAS stupid and emotionally impulsive. Traits that have been there since day one. He did not do the right thing here and he made a mistake and suffered the consequences for it.

But I'm sorry, this is gonna annoy some people, I WILL BE A JAKE APOLOGIST

He was GASLIT this entire episode. By a friend he trusted with some very personal information. Said friend ignited his PTSD, that CLEARLY affected him, and purposefully did so, so it would CAUSE his flaws to be ignited.

Yes it's his fault those flaws are even there. But when he was getting better and finding people he could work on something with, others took advantage of him and brought them back with triggers.

Yes these are PTSD triggers.

Trust me. I've been gaslit in my life multiple times in the past. I know these are very appropriate reactions.

And on top of that, he DID try to see through this lie, questioned it, and DID try to talk to Tom about what was going on. But the episode both told and showed that Ellie was preventing him from doing that and putting more fuse in that fire each time he questioned it.

THAT IS GASLIGHTING.

He also, AGAIN, realized his mistake, apologized for it, and WANTED to make up for it. BUT IT WAS ALREADY TOO LATE.

So OF COURSE Jake is gonna believe this shit and act the way he did. I DO NOT BLAME HIM, PERSONALLY.

So... yeah. If you thought this would be the episode where I hate Jake, you thought wrong. My thoughts became the opposite. XD

I'm on his side. I completely understand why he's pissed and in my opinion, he has EVERY RIGHT TO BE PISSED.

What these people did to him was FUCKED UP.

I SUPPORT HIM WANTING REVENGE.

I said this during the reaction too. If Jake was actually whining 24/7 before this, if he never questioned the lie whatsoever and Ellie never needed to add more fuel to it for it to work, if he didn't apologize for shit, if he had the chance to talk to Tom and chose not to, IT WOULD BE A DIFFERENT STORY. But the evidence is there that... I just fail to see how this was his fault.

He got gaslit and taken advantage of.

AND WHAT DID HE EVER DO TO YOU?!?!

I'm not saying Jake doesn't have flaws he needs to work on. It's because of said flaws he became a target. I'm saying the reasons why these flaws were ignited were understandable here and thus completely fail to convince me that I should hate him.

He needs to get better, but it's not his fault if other people are pulling him away from doing that.

But sure, let's blame the target for the gaslighting and manipulation and not the people DOING said gaslighting and manipulation.

If the dog is being abused by the human, I guess you blame the dog because it let itself be abused. Therefore the dog deserves all the hate and blame.

"Fuck Jake! He did exactly what we wanted him to! What an asshole! He deserves the worst!"

(If you hate him though, I can’t stop you and its wrong on my end to claim you’re wrong when it’s an opinion)

Tom, my sweet, I am so sorry, you don't deserve this treatment.

I knew he was gone, but I didn't think he'd go like THAT. That was BRUTAL.

I thought they were gonna be happy! Gosh NOOOOO...

Oh god... so I think my reactions just got ten times more polarizing. I'm sorry. This is a very morally complicated and polarizing situation. What do you expect?

If you guys want me to continue these reactions, be sure to let me know.

[glindaupland]

The Phantom of the Opera | Seoul, South Korea | October 8-14th, 2023 [REVIEWS]

Wow it's about time I posted these reviews that I kept lying about (this week! tomorrow! in 10 years!) Better late than never?

In this post I'll drop a few general things about the production, but the performances are analyzed in my reviews linked here. I recommend reading those all in order since I revisit points about actors I've made previously along the way to avoid repeating myself. Also leaving a disclaimer that these performances are from October so there are some changes in what the actors are doing now (with the exception of Jeon Dong-seok since he left in November) Apologies in advance for my wordiness, but this is more of a "release my feelings for my sake and if anyone else likes it that's cool too" kind of thing? Listen - I wrote a lot of notes on my performances there. So just go in knowing this is the more coherent version of my insane looking notes app!

Before I start I want to thank a few lovely friends who helped me out with this trip because it wouldn't have gone as well as it did without them!

Thank you to @lucygold95 for helping me so much with planning over the past months and for giving me the best time in Busan. Thank you @capitanogiorgio for all the shenanigans we went through and the most special time going to the 1500th and meeting Yoon Young-seok. Thank you to @fadinglandtragedy for the fun talks and the good advice before my trip! The best part of things like this is making friends of course! : )

PERFORMANCE REVIEWS:

| October 8, 2023 | October 11, 2023 | October 12, 2023 | | October 13, 2023 (M) | October 13, 2023 (E) | October 14, 2023 |

STAGE & THEATER

This was as close to the original staging as possible. So I was able to take it in one more (or I guess 6 more?) times post-Broadway closing. The Charlotte Theater is a lot smaller than the Majestic so every view was pretty solid in my opinion, even the second to last row. I took a video of my view from 4th row under the chandelier during the exit music on October 11th so you can see! The angel and chandelier are shown halfway through. I'd say 5th row was almost the cut off for the chandelier drop (that was my spot next day) Broadway seats in this area were always too expensive for me so I'm glad I was able to grab these spots for this production

There were photo zones you can take pics at which you've probably seen. One was a large rose wall, the other was the cute statue of their mascot 오유령. People also take forever lining up for the cast boards for photos and yes I was one of those people. Here's a comparison of the cast boards from the second season (pictures I found when reading old reviews on Naver) and the cast boards now (I forgot to take a photo of one on the top floor though)

I found this review where someone took more detailed clean photos than I did if you're curious about the layout and decorations!

MERCH AND GIFTS

The tickets had these designs! If you booked on Yes24, you received a special envelope and a ticket holder with the face of the Phantom performing for that show

I only didn't receive a second Ju-taek because that was booked on another site - Interpark (bottom middle ticket). I also received paper masks with printed autographs every day I went to commemorate the 200th performance of the run/100th for Seoul and the 1500th overall Korean performance. We used them for the curtain call photos on those two dates (with Jeon Dong-seok then Kim Ju-taek). There are multiple versions of the program book and at the time of writing this I have all except the Daegu one. The first Busan program book was pretty bare and only had the teaser pictures - the same was the case for my Les Mis program book in Busan. -There are different photos in each one, so to me it was worth grabbing them all. My third version signed by Kim Ju-taek is currently on display as you can see below! (The writing says "내 노래를 날게 해 주오 - Make my song take flight") Once again thank you to Lucy for this! 🥹❤️

Here's some of my POTO merch (including a spare cupsleeve from the coffee shop next door, I also had a keyring, but I forgot to show it) RIP to the second program book I sacrificed for scans I still have the pages stored/displayed though! I'm not wasteful! I'll have more to post soon after sharing these reviews

TRANSLATION

Let me emphasize this: my Korean abilities are limited, so don't look to me as the expert on this at all. But I'll still share my notes and perspective as an outsider who's studying The lyrics have changed quite a bit since 2001-2. There are still lines kept or songs that are mostly similar. MOTN had a lot of similarity to 2009-11 even with its changes, STYDI was identical to 2009-11, but Angel of Music was pretty different from even the last season, etc etc. The Phantoms all have unique lines sprinkled here and there, mainly in MOTN (this happens sometimes in Korean musicals). You get some things like random single line changes in some parts depending on the actor or different order/wording of the same lines as well. Just tiny diversions from the script. This is the case for the Christines and Raoul to a lesser extent. Additionally, actors are often permitted to do some occasional improvisation/ad libs. Some unique lines are pretty normal parts of their interpretations now, some appear depending on the feeling of the performance, some are one time only events. I'll mention some of the actor-specific ones and such in their actual reviews, but I have been trying to mark down all of the differences like these for example

Of course, some things obviously have to be adjusted to make sense because of cultural / linguistic reasons. So one example would be the "Wrote...written" line in Notes I. Firmin speaks rudely and informally, but quickly tries adding a more respectful ending particle 요 after Raoul and André give him a shocked 'what did you just say?' kind of look. So "대체 뭘 썼다고 하는 건데...요!" is pretty much like "What the hell are you saying I wrote?" André would look so embarrassed by this each time 🫣

퇴근길 / STAGE DOOR

Stage door doesn't really work the same as it does in places like New York, London, etc. Most of the time if an actor comes out it's more like a quick greeting or chat with the fans. Some actors (not in this case) might sign or take photos in designated spots, but it really depends and it's not so common. It's gotten more restricted ever since COVID as well. 퇴근길 -> "way home from work" is literally what this is called. Dong-seok did wave at us a few times happily after the 200th performance, Gun-ha briefly came out to thank fans after the 1500th while Ceci and I waited to meet Young-seok who had agreed to meet us. I did not have the time (or strength) for the Seung-woo mob, but he usually greets fans after shows.

I literally asked Yoon Young-seok directly on Instagram if Ceci and I could meet him and give him gifts because I figured it didn't hurt to try! When he agreed, my anxiety was not necessarily about meeting an actor, but more about my ability to express my thoughts in another language. But he was truly the sweetest guy and incredibly patient. I think he got that I understood everything he said, but that replying was a whole other challenge. I'm glad I was making enough sense that he was able to get my points and helped me finish sentences if I looked stressed about it 😂 I basically told him I had been planning this trip since the cast announcement because it was too perfect to miss and that I came for 6 shows. I really like to listen to his Phantom on the cast recordings and I thought he made the shows I had seen so far so much fun.

We both said where we were from (the US and France) and he was amazed. He was also shocked when I pulled out my original Korean cast recording (I still laugh thinking about the way he said "와, 세상에!" like "Wow, oh my god!" and enthusiastically took it agreeing to sign when I was mid-way asking him haha) I also thought it was funny when he asked Ceci if she saw his Phantom last season. We wish! But she mentioned she had gone to Busan a few times and he looked very touched and appreciative that we went to multiple performances 🥹 This poor man was tired he signed our things with November (11.13) though and he also spelled Ceci's name wrong first time, but it was the 1500th show though okay. And if he says it's November...who are we to question him? Ceci should also legally change names so he isn't wrong. Anyway, ramble over you can find the art we made for him in this post

OTHER

Here's just bonus fun I had that I will manage to connect to POTO despite it not being POTO because I love doing that. I mean I went because I like these musicals as well (otherwise I would've been foolish enough to go see Ben-Hur but I have, uh, standards for my plots sorry to Park Eun-tae 😭), but it's fun to point out these things. I'm happy to share my show experiences in a different post if anyone's interested in my thoughts on those

Rebecca

I went to see Rebecca, mainly focused on seeing a scheduled date for 이지혜 Lee Ji-hye (Ich) and 장은아 Jang Eun-ah (Mrs Danvers). The whole cast was fantastic. Some Korean musicals have special encore bits they do where the leads sing a part of a song from the show during bows so that was really fun. Unfortunately, we don't get to have fun at POTO like that haha

Lee Ji-hye was in Y&K Phantom as Christine in the same cast as Jeon Dong-seok (Erik), Yoon Young-seok (Gérard Carrière), and Lee Sang-jun (Cholet). Two other cast members in Rebecca were in Y&K as well - 에녹 Enoch (Maxim) who was Philippe and 신영숙 Shin Young-sook (Mrs Danvers) who was Carlotta. Sadly, they had such few shows this season due to a busy schedule, so I couldn't see them (when will trot give Enoch back to musicals). Original Korean ALW Raoul and Y&K Erik 류정한 Ryu Jeong-han was also on rotation as Maxim, but I picked another day for my show so I didn't see him either

Les Misérables

I went to opening night of Les Mis in Busan! It was the Dream Theater, same place POTO played at before. As many of you already know, Choi Jae-rim is playing Jean Valjean at the same time as the Phantom.

I could recognize him easily as the Phantom, but honestly when he appeared at the very start of Les Mis it took me a minute to process that it was him! While I did enjoy his Phantom a lot, I think I enjoyed his Valjean performance a little more. It was only opening night, so curious to see how things develop!

The actor who played Javert that night, 카이 Kai (stage name), was a former Y&K Erik for two seasons too. So many Phantoms!

Frankenstein

On the last day I got to see Dong-seok and Ji-hye once more in a concert for the musical Frankenstein which they have been in together. So have some pics I took without a mask blocking his face!

Ending Note

Thinking back to December 2022 when I said: "Maybe I'll go to Seoul and see Dong-seok once or twice and that's it, I can have my first international POTO" That was funny. That was really very very funny and silly of me to say. 9 performances and 6 of those were POTO! But I'm so grateful and I have zero regrets about it. This is one of the best experiences I've had even if it might look ridiculous to some people to do something like this...I don't care! I hope my crazy essays can help paint a good picture for you!

[randomingoftherandomness]

Fic: Love is when you try to place it out your mind

A/N: For @lovesickfolly and based on their deliciously wonderful plot bunnies :) The title is based on Mona Lisa by Dominic Fike

Fair warning, as of writing this fic, I'm on episode 10 of the show but I'd been Tumblr-watching it while it was airing so I have a gauge of what's what. If there are some discrepancies with the details or whatnot, *handwaves* consider this a Canon Divergence?

As a whole, I hope I did the prompt I chose some proper justice. This fic is not betaed. Enjoy!

--

It happens a little like this:

Fang Duobing holds on a little tighter just to keep Li Lianhua from running away. Li Lianhua uses some sleight of hand to keep him at a distance. Fang Duobing falls for it but only for a moment, before he catches the corner of his sleeve, holding on just long enough to say, "I love you, I have loved you for the longest time. I can't live when you aren't near, yet I can't breathe when you are away from my side."

"You frustrate me, you drive me insane, but there's no one better for me. In this life, I want no one else. I've never had to beg anyone for anything but, please..."

"Fang Duobing, I think you've drunk too much tonight."

A gentle push at his wrist that he doesn't fight is strong enough to have him stumbling back. Hurt lances through his heart at the way Li Lianhua's dark gaze lifts and meets his own unwaveringly. Like two bottomless pools in a moonless night, there is little he can do but to listen to his heart break when Li Lianhua says, "I'll forget everything you just said. Bury this deep and never think about me like this again."

It ends a lot like this:

Li Lianhua leaves him behind without a second thought.

It has been a year since he last saw him.

It feels very much like this:

An ache in his heart follows him closer than a shadow, far more familiar than his own skin, settling deeper in his marrow than his own blood. He cannot eat, he cannot sleep. The best wine is tasteless, the finest dishes are ash on his tongue.

For the first month, he knows his mother spends sun up to sundown cursing the jianghu. It takes his youngest Aunt coming to his room to hold him by the hand as she'd used to do when he was little and ill from a bout of sickness, tearfully pleading with him to please, just eat something, just one bite, one sip of water, just do something instead of staying in his room like he'd lost all his will to live.

(if he only climbs out of bed because his mother and aunt threaten to bring this case up to the whole of the jianghu, if he only takes his first bite of food because they bring Fox Spirit to his side to comfort him, that's something for him and him only to know)

By the time the seasons change, his mother only kisses his cheeks in goodbye and tells him to take care of himself on the road when he leaves to roam the jianghu and carry out his duties to the Baichuan Court.

And through all that, the ache settles in like an old friend. His aunt says that heartbreak will take time to get over. Fang Duobing doesn't know if he wants to wait to find out.

He's probably cursed at this point, but there's nothing much to be done about that.

The first time he hears that Li Lianhua is back is half a year since he spilt his heart out and it is through gossip he overhears in a tavern in the middle of escorting a criminal. There's a twinge of instinct like a cut-off nerve ending that still feels sensation even when it shouldn't, to get up, ask those men where they heard such a piece of news and chase that man down by hook or by crook.

Instead, Fang Duobing takes a deep, calming breath, swallows down his mouthful of food, and takes another breath.

In the months after, it's as if he is seeing ghosts.

A glimpse of a lotus leaf hairpin on someone, the scent of herbs and fire on another, the sight of red ribbons floating in the wind. The touch of warmth on his wrist as he walks in a crowd. Despite all these, Fang Duobing trudges on. Smiling when he has to, laughing because he wants nothing but to put the frown off his mother's brow, joking when all he wants to do is scream that the withered and dying heart in him is so hollowed out that nothing matters.

Not helped is how the rumour of Li Lianhua's return was anything but an exaggeration.

Everyone seems to have seen him. Everyone but him.

The masters of Baichuan Court had a meal with him a week ago. Su Xiaoyong managed to corner him for tea a day ago and Qiao Wanmian is having him over for lunch in a week. Sometimes, if he comes back at the right time, he spies Fox Spirit's food bowl filled with his favourite snack that only Li Lianhua knows how to make.

He swallows down the bile and keeps trudging on. Pulls himself up by the boots and solves case after case, making an empty glory for himself. Runs himself ragged so that at night he can just fall into bed and sleep. It is a small bliss when he doesn't have to think about how Li Lianhua hates him so much that he won't even seek him out to show him just a glimpse of the hem of his robe.

What goes around comes around. Or so the saying goes, and no good deed goes unpunished. Fang Duobing would call it a relief when he slips up enough that a rogue swordsman can get an upper hand long enough to stab him through and through with a blade, pinning him up just enough that he can get away.

As the darkness takes him, Fang Duobing wonders if he can sleep this time without dreaming of Li Lianhua.

"You fool."

The ceiling he wakes up to is not his own. The bed he wakes up in is familiar in a way that makes his heart stutter and skips a beat in pain. He must have groaned because deft hands are quick to be at his shoulder to settle him down. Fang Duobing gasps. Gropes through the breathlessness at a thin wrist, looking up to meet eyes that watch him with undisguised worry.

"You con artist..."

Li Lianhua sighs, the corner of his lips twitching. "I probably deserve that."

"You absolute mother--"

"Hey, no need to bring my mother into this!" Li Lianhua laughs, trying to pull away, only for Fang Duobing to hold on to his sleeve.

"I..." He tries, licking his dry lips. Blinking rapidly, he looks around him. "Where am I? What happened?"

"You got stabbed. The fogeys at Baichuan Court brought you to me, telling me to help." Fang Duobing can taste the familiar acridness of rejection creep up the back of his throat. Letting go of the sleeve in his hand, he huffs a soft chuckle.

"So that's the case." Fang Duobing swallows thickly. "You're only helping Baichuan Court."

A silence grows and sits between them. Eventually, he hears Li Lianhua drag a stool closer to the bed. "Fang Xiaobao, look at me."

He closes his eyes, turning his face away with great difficulty. "My apologies Physician Li. I am sure this is a great inconvenience to you that I am here. Let me rest awhile and I'm sure I'll be well enough to leave by then. I do not want to bother you too much."

"You-- Fang Duobing, you fool, look at me!"

He pulls the covers over his shoulders. "That's not necessary--"

"Fang Duobing, look at me, please..."

The thread of pleading is thick in the syllables, and by the gods above, Fang Duobing has never mended his walls to protect him against Li Lianhua. So, he opens his eyes, slowly turning back to look.

And sees the red-rimmed eyes. Then sees the long grey hair that is a shade away from white. He sees the lines on Li Lianhua's face that have deepened in the year that they've not seen each other.

"Li Lianhua..." Fang Duobing starts, heart pounding like a war drum when he reaches out to run his fingers through his hair and finds that instead of pulling away, Li Lianhua is leaning in.

Pressing his cheek into the palm of Fang Duobing's calloused hand, he lets out a shaky breath, as if he is releasing all his worries in that one exhale. "I don't deserve you, Fang Duobing. I never have."

"You came into my life and you made yourself home like you've always been there. You didn't care for how much hurt I inflicted, you didn't care that I pushed you away. You stayed when all others left." Li Lianhua lifts his hands to keep Fang Duobing's hand to the side of his face. The curtain fall of his hair wraps itself around their hands, tangling black to grey on the bedspread. "Every time I tried to hide, you always knew where to find me. Every time I ran, you followed. You've bewitched me, body and soul."

Li Lianhua sighs, turning his face into Fang Doubing's touch. Giving into an impulse, he reaches out, ignoring the twinge of pain. Carding his fingers through Li Lianhua's hair.

Softly, he whispers, "Please don't say things you don't mean."

The hurt that colours the browns of Li Lianhua is tinged with regret. But with a blink, it is replaced with a steely determination that has Fang Duobing reeling when he barely has a moment to process how Li Lianhua swoops in and slides their lips together.

"Li Lianhua--"

He shakes his head, lips still pressed to the corner of Fang Duobing's. "I'm a normal man now. I have nothing to give you. Everything that you have loved about Li Xiangyi, everything that you idolised about the man I was, I am not that anymore. That's why I couldn't reciprocate your feelings that first time. I didn't even know if I was coming back. That's why I ran."

"And what's this?" Fang Duobing asks, the words tripping over themselves as they burn their way into the air between them. "Did you do all this because of, what? Guilt?"

Li Lianhua looks absolutely gutted at that. He shakes his head, eyes begging him to believe him. "No! Never! I... I came the moment I received word that you were injured." Ducking his head, he presses his lips to the jut of their joined hands. "I knew I couldn't stay away from you. I know now that I shouldn't have."

Fang Duobing lets himself process this. Sniffling a little and not fighting Li Lianhua when he smiles wetly as he wipes away the tears that make tracks down his cheeks.

"You hurt me."

"I did." Li Lianhua leans in again. This time, Fang Duobing moves back so that there is space on the bed for him to climb into.

"You really hurt me."

"I know, but if you're willing," Li Lianhua says, the light of the sun catching in the pale strands of his hair as he pledges. "I swear on everything good and true, on everything I have left, on the love you have given me, I, Li Lianhua will be good to you, will spend the rest of my life making it up to you for every moment you were hurt by me."

Fang Duobing feels himself smile genuinely for the first time in a very long time. Lifting his hand to cup at Li Lianhua's face, he rubs his thumb over the dark circle under his eye. "Liar. You can't promise me the rest of your life if we aren't married."

This sparks a gleam of mischief in Li Lianhua's eyes that curls something warm in his gut. Something alive that he wants to chase and pin down with joy.

"You did promise to take my name if I could bring a dead man back to life." Li Lianhua murmurs, plush lips curved upwards. "Haven't we been married since then?"

And really, who is Fang Duobing to deny that? Especially since he has the rest of their lives to figure it out.

The hurt isn't gone. Not by a long shot. But as Li Lianhua willingly takes strands of their hair, braiding them together with a smile before carefully kissing his shoulder and laying back down beside him -- the weight of him so very real, so warm to the touch, and here because he wants to be -- he can feel the space where his heart is start to come back alive.

And that, if nowhere else, is a good place to start again.

[coping-via-clint-eastwood]

*siiiiiigh* Soooooo, first of all, I would like to apologise to @jencsi for taking so long to answer the ask. But then of course when I want to answer it, Tumblr has it made it disappear. So anyway I'm posting as a post. This is for the character asks thing. Jen asked all questions for Gil Grissom.

1. Why do you like or dislike this character?

EVERYTHING???????

2. Favorite canon thing about this character?

HOW DO I PICK WHEN THERE ARE SO MANY ANSWERS????????

3. Least favorite canon thing about this character?

HOW DO I PICK WHEN THERE ARE NO ANSWERS????????

4. If you could put this character in any other media, be it a book, a movie, anything, what would you put them in?

Sherlock Holmes 🤷🏻‍♀️

5. What's the first song that comes to mind when you think about them?

I know that I'm the resident Linkin Park fan, and I'm all over 9x05, but, LOATR is just about one particular aspect of his life.  It doesn't encapsulate the full depth of him.  And, honestly, that's what I really hope that I captured in my video.  It's basically a marriage proposition to him at this point.  I hope I did the song and him justice.

(I am using Leave Out All the Rest this year though (:  )

6. What's something you have in common with this character?

Autistic.  Hearing impaired.  Misanthropic humanist.  I love bugs because of him.  I'm learning to sign because of him.  I got into CSI because I love bioscience.  Ghost/social outcast until we find the right people.  Struggle with emotions and relationships, and ultimately learning to choose love over fear (which is, one again, something I learned from him. If he can do it, so can I. The fact that my role model is a fictional being). Bullied because of being nerdy.  Bullied because of "weirdness" aka autism.  We're uncomfortable around people but care very deeply about them, especially if they're our loved ones.  Honestly a lot of it is the autism and everything that comes with it.

7. What's something the fandom does when it comes to this character that you like?

Lemme just say, boy am I glad I am on the we want to fuck that old man website.  Because, at first, I was embarrassed and self-conscious that I was in love with someone much older than me (hence why I love GSR; it gives me so much more confidence), but then as I got into the tumblr fandom I saw that I'm not alone.  So thank you everyone.

8. What's something the fandom does when it comes to this character that you despise?

When people hate him overall for the way he treated Sara well in the early seasons.  Like, hello *gestures to his whole development arc*  you see this?  Or were we not watching the same show?

9. Could you be roommates with this character?

Oh my god it's gonna be so fucking quiet.  For once in our lives we'll have someone who'll actually respect our sensitivity/stimulation needs and not belittle us.

10. Could you be best friends with this character?

We're two of a kind.

11. Would you date this character?

I WANNA MARRY HIM!!!!!!!!!

12. What's a headcanon you have for this character?

His father's name is Arthur, since that's his middle name, and it's not uncommon for catholics to make their first name the middle name of their child.  And irl Billy's dad is named Arthur Edward Petersen, and his brother is Arthur Petersen Jr.

13. What's an emoji, an emoticon and/or any symbol that reminds you of this character or you think the character would use a lot?

🐛🐜🐞🦗🪲🕷️

14. Assign a fashion aesthetic to this character.

15. What's your favorite ship for this character? (Doesn't matter if it's canon or not.)

GSR

16. What's your least favorite ship for this character?

Someone jokingly tagged a post with [#otp: i have bugs in my office] and while I'm glad it's not an actual ship...yeah I'm glad it's not.  It gave me fucking whiplash.

17. What's a ship for this character you don't hate but it's not your favorite that you're fine with?

Grillows.  I'm actually multiship.  I ship GSR, Grillows and Kessom.  I've even been okay roleplaying Grissom/Nick with someone in the past, and I'm also okay with Warrick and Greg being shipped with him.  Hell I even find him being dopey with Teri Miller cute XD

18. How about a relationship they have in canon with another character that you admire?

Catherine.  #brotp: it will play our song forever

19. How about a relationship they have in canon that you don't like?

I wanna say Ecklie but that's like, everything about him

20. Which other character is the ideal best friend for this character, the amount of screentime they share doesn't matter?

If not Cath then Heather XD

21. If you're a fic writer and have written for this character, what's your favorite thing to do when you're writing for this character? What's something you don't like?

I love loving him.  I write my stories with him with so much love and care.  And I'm proud that my audience say it's obvious how much I love him.

I don't like him being hurt so I never write it.  Like, I'll just say it:  I'm glad it was Nick who got caught in Grave Danger and not Gil.  If it had been him I...I don't know what I would've done.  Even though I'd have known  that he was gonna be fine in the end, during the process I'd break down, no matter how many times I've watched it.  The thought of him being hurt just...I can't say it.  Sorry Nick, I love you too but Gil...Gil is the most special to me.

22. If you're a fic reader, what's something you like in fics when it comes to this character? Something you don't like?

I love when people write about his disabilities.  His hearing impairment, how he signs, his experience speaking both English and ASL.  His social and emotional struggles because of his autism.

My dislike would be when people write him as allosexual...  💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀

23. Favorite picture of this character?

24. What other character from another fandom of yours that reminds you of them?

Sherlock Holmes

25. What was your first impression of this character? How about now?

First impression:  wow he's so cool and smart and good at science.  I wanna learn from him.

Now:  Will you marry me?

26.  Freebie question.

Extra headcanon:  along with riding a rollercoaster with someone every 9 years and 34 days because that's how old he was when his dad passed, his favourite is the Mosaic because his parents took him on it for his 9th birthday.  Then a month later Arthur kicked the bucket, so Gil likes the memory of his father.

[kissorkill16]

Stay Out Of Trouble: A Hello Neighbor Fanfic

Summary: Enzo and Ivan run into Mr. Peterson while setting up a new treehouse in Ivan's backyard.

P.S., for @fallenfelina

Ivan and Enzo were carrying boxes of tools to the new treehouse that Ivan himself set up. Ivan Torre, a 10 year old, in middle school, built this very treehouse with his gloved hands. Some might find it unbelievable, but not if you're a genius.

"One problem, Ivan. How're we supposed to climb the ladder if our hands are full?", asked Enzo.

"Don't worry, Enzo. I planned exclusively for this. I built an elevator in the back. Follow me."

The two boys walked to the back of the house, and set the boxes down. Ivan pulled the rope that lifted the elevator up into the inside of the treehouse. As they were inside, they started unpacking all of the tools.

"I can't believe you did all of this.", said Enzo.

"Well believe it, my friend. And while you're believing, let's go get the rest of my tools."

They made their way down the elevator of the treehouse and ran to the yard which was littered with boxes, they picked up one box each and started making their way back to the treehouse, but instead ran into the broad chest of a towering Mr. Peterson.

The two boys stilled in their places, clutching the boxes in their hands. Mr. Peterson loomed over them, but he didn't do or say anything, he just stared at them. It was extremely creepy.

Enzo cleared his throat and nervously smiled at the man. "Hello, neighbor.", he said, trying to sound casual, but instead sounded more scared.

Ivan wasn't standing in fear, but amazement. He had always had a celebrity crush on Mr. Peterson. He loved all of his rollercoasters, all of the beautiful, daring, high rides he built. Ever since he was a little kid, he had always wanted to meet him, he hadn't even known he recently moved to Raven Brooks. Ivan nearly dropped the box in his hands.

"You know him?", asked Ivan.

"Uh...yeah. He's my ex best friend's dad.", Enzo whispered back to Ivan. "Met him a couple of months ago."

"And you think to tell me now?!", Ivan nearly yelled.

"You were busy building your treehouse!"

Ivan pushed the box he was holding into Enzo's hands, and turned back to Mr. Peterson. "Hello, Mr. Peterson! My name is Ivan Torre. It's so nice to meet you. I've always wanted to meet you!", he said. His eyes sparkled with delight, it was the cutest thing you'd ever see, considering Ivan was only ten.

Mr. Peterson didn't say anything, he just kept staring at him. He looked behind him to the treehouse, then back at him. "Did you build this?"

"Uh huh."

"How old are you, young man?"

"Ten years old, sir."

Mr. Peterson's eyebrows raised in surprise. Like I said before, it's pretty unbelievable that a ten year old built a treehouse.

Enzo just stared at Mr. Peterson, he didn't like what he saw, but he couldn't look away. The man had eye bags, they almost looked darker than his gloves, which were covered in something that looked like blood. Blood? Why does Mr. Peterson have blood on his hands?

Meanwhile, Ivan and Mr. Peterson were just chatting away about how remarkable it was that Ivan built this treehouse all by himself. Enzo intervened about a minute later.

"Listen, Mr. Peterson. I don't want to sound rude, but we're a little busy at the moment, so if you could please leave, that'd be great.", said Enzo.

Mr. Peterson raised his eyebrows again, but nodded. "I apologize, I didn't know I was interrupting something.", he said. He turned around to leave, but before he did, he turned back around and said "You two stay out of trouble."

Ivan didn't know what he meant by that, but Enzo had a pretty bad feeling that he didn't mean something pleasant. Enzo waited until he couldn't see Mr. Peterson anymore before he gave Ivan back his box.

"What's the matter?", asked Ivan. "Do you have something against Mr. Peterson?"

Enzo looked back at him, "I'd tell you, but I'm scared you wouldn't believe me."