#and like sometimes I wanna be a dude but the idea of having a dick? absolutely fucking not I KNOW I don’t want that

[yuribalisms]

Lesbian or trans guy…. Lesbian or trans guy… lesbian or trans guy…. That is The question

[slvtforoldermen]

Pedro’s Characters: The Dick-tionary

How big are Pedro Pascal’s characters and some NSFW headcannons

(WARNING: DETAILS OF PENISES AND TALKS OF SEX - MDNI)

Part Two <3

A/N: Sorry I never continued Fluff February :(, I lost motivation so I’ll just write them and post them as a prompt list for whenever…

Joel Miller:

Okay, all his characters are big, it’s a known fact, but Joel is 100% the biggest. Probably about 8.5 inches, with a pretty pink mushroom tip, and GIRTHY AGH! There’s a vein on it that is really visible when he’s hard. Oh and his balls are big too. Everything about Joel is just big. Not only is he big but you best believe he knows how to use it too. He’s got a daddy kink… Fav positions are missionary and cowgirl, however when he’s angry doggy or the mating press are a no-brainer. Daddy kink! DOMINANT!!! There’s no way this man is a sub, it just doesn’t work, he’s just so dom yknow, and when he’s soft, he’s the sweetest he’s ever been, but if he’s angry, hard dom Joel comes out and that’s a man you don’t wanna piss off if you wanna cum. He’s got such a daddy kink. “Fuck babygirl/boy, you’re so fucking sweet, sugar. So fucking good for daddy. Yeah baby? You like that? Such a good little girl/boy, so fucking sweet.” Daddy kink is such is a big thing for him. Hair wise? Well it’s the apocalypse so it’s probably hard to find the Manscaper 3000 or whatever. He trims his hair with some scissors, honestly he didn’t really care for shaving before you, so he just let it grow, but once when you were sucking him, you almost sneezed from how much it tickled your nose and made a little joke about it after, which made Joel feel a little bad so he cut them just a little shorter. Oh I’m sorry and did I mention… DADDY KINK!!!

Javier Peña:

(Here I’m purely writing about Javier Pena in a fictional sense AS PEDRO, not the real guy, this has nothing to do with the real Javier Pena)

Okay, Javier, my baby daddy. Um, who said that- ANYWAYS! Javier is probably the second biggest, in joint place with Oberyn, definitely about 7-7.5 inches, as he’s nicknamed by moi, the Pussy Slayer of Medellin. It goes without saying that Javier is rough, as we’ve seen, side note: I don’t know why I thought watching Narcos with my family would be a good idea… I was sat on the couch like “😀 okay, I’m watching Pedro have sex next to my mum, just a normal Saturday morning…” anyways back to it (hehe Negan reference) but Javier is rough, doggy and cowgirl are his favourite positions, but sometimes when he’s feeling a little somber he likes a little missionary. As how domestically-kinky I like my men, I’m a little disappointed that Javier isn’t a committed man, but he does have a tiny 🤏 breeding kink, he defo isn’t a fan of being called daddy, in fact just call him Javi and he’s yours, and he’s dom obviously. “Oh carino, you take my cock so well, you good little whore… fuck… my sweet little angel.” I mean, we’ve all seen his hair, so do we really need address it, that also might genuinely be my fav sex scene in all of cinema history.

Oberyn Martell

Okay, admittedly, I haven’t seen any proper scenes of Oberyn, because I’ve just started GOT, so I have no clue what his character is like apart from being a HUGE BISEXUAL SLUT, so he’s just like me 🤭

Oberyn, tying with Javier, is about 7-7.5 inches, and I feel like his cock is definitely a lot more tan than others, idk why, it’s just an instinct. Defo uncircumcised. His fav positions are definitely cowgirl OH and dude is the literal definition of a pillow prince, again, just like me. Suck his dick, please, just suck his dick. Again, I don’t know how he’s presented in GOT, but I’m like 74% sure he’s dominant? From the clips I’ve seen 🫣 Hair wise, do razors exists in the GOT world? Or does my man just shave himself with a sword.

Javi Gutierrez:

Oh my sweet baby Javi… he’s so kinky. I’m fully convinced he’s into full BDSM, not so much where he has to do it every single time, but maybe like once a month. When I was watching TUWOMT for the first time, when Nick is about to go into the room with all his merch and stuff, I was dead convinced it was gonna be a sex dungeon. There’s no way a man is this sweet and adorable without being into some freaky shit.

Anyway, Javi is about 6.5 inches, with a sweet pink tip and he’s definitely a giver not a taker, don’t get him wrong, he ADORES you with his dick in your mouth, but he prefers to eat you out/suck your dick for hours on end. Oh and he’s a sweet talker, when you guys aren’t being full kinky, he’ll praise you to hours on end, mumbling in your ear how good you are in that sexy accent of his. Is a little bit of a switch, but mostly dominant, soft dom if it’s a normal night but if it’s that special night, only your safe word will pull him out of hard dom space. Definitely the type to overstimulate you in a sweet way “you can take it right sweetheart? Mi amor~ just take my cock nice and good, ahí tienes.” Um, daddy kink for surely, but not like every single night like Joel. But when he’s between your legs, and he’s stimulated you so far into sub space, and you’re struggling to keep your eyes open, and you’re reaching up for him, babbling how good his cock feels in your hole, he can’t help but coo down at you and praise you so hard. He’s not bald, but his hair isn’t long, just trimmed to the point where it tickles your nose when you suck his cock.

Din Djarin

Okay, so I think it’s canon that Din hasn’t really ever felt human touch, so I feel he’s really inexperienced… but the dude’s got a pretty dick. Like it’s just so… pretty. About 6 inches with a sweet baby pink tip, he’s so sensitive too. He loves head but he really can’t say it, he’s just too embarrassed. I just get the vibe that he’s mostly subby. He tried to be dom once but the poor baby couldn’t handle it all. But then he tried again and he did so good, but it tired him out, so if he’s domming, which is once in a blue moon, he’s going to be soft, maybe even softer than Javi. Mommy/Daddy kink!! “Please, I’m good right? Please, please tell me I’m doing good… you always feel so so good, I love you so much.” Please, he’s so sweet I love him. It’s rare that you guys get off together because of reasons due to his upbringing and stuff so he just likes being taken care of, the sweet boy. Before you, he never really cared for shaving, so when you first strip together, he’s a little nervous about it, and then after that he trims it, quite short.

Marcus Moreno

If anyone says this man is a hard dom they’re just kidding themselves, this man is the sweetest man out there, obviously not as much as Din ofc <3.

Marcus has an obsession with using his hands, making you cum just by fingering you. Then when he’s inside you, he slips his fingers into your mouth, or around your neck, or on your cheek. His dick is about 7 inches, and like everyone else, knows how to use it perfectly. Angel is one of his favourite nicknames to call you. “My perfect Angel, taking my cock so good baby…” whilst hes thrusting into you ever so gently. Would never EVER do it when Missy is around, so quickies before picking Missy up from school are his go to, but he loves the days where his mom can take her out for the day or even a grandma sleepover so he can be with you for hours. You under him, over him, him inside you, his good girl/boy, his good angel. Pleasuring you until you get numb. The armpit hair in the scene of the gif gets me and idk why, I have never had a thing for armpit hair but maybe I’m just really horny, but his hair down there is nice and trimmed, not bald, never bald.

Tim Rock(Hard)Ford

Here we go…

Oh Tim man! I have a teensy 🤏 detective kink so when Pedro played this role it was over for me.

Maybe it’s the greying, like Joel, but I feel like he’s huge, just like Joel. He’s 8 inches, living his best life. But he’s just a tired old man, so when he gets home, please just get on your knees for him, he’ll just lay there, stroking your hair, praising you, telling you how good you suck his cock. Then he’ll bring you up to the bed and return the favour, making sure to always get you to tell him about your day as he does so. Saturday nights are always his favourite time to rail into you, he’s had the whole day off, just resting, watching you walk around, getting him so worked up. He has a domestic kink. So seeing you do chores get him so hard. Loves fucking between your thighs when you’re sleeping because he gets home so late and just needs a little relief, but you look so cute and peaceful while you sleep and because he’s so considerate, he doesn’t wanna wake you. “So good for me baby, so good for daddy, gonna fill you up, you’re not gonna let any of my cum slip out right, gonna keep it all in your tummy, yeah, that’s it, cum for me.” TALKS YOU THROUGH IT!!! Sleeps naked. Not trimmed, not shaved, just grows it out, he’s old so he doesn’t care, it’s not like anyone but you would be seeing him like this anyways.

Dieter Bravo

I love Dieter, he’s so cute.

Not dom, but not sub either, just dom enough to see you break under him but sub enough to whimper and get soooo desperate. Such a huge pillow prince, he loves it when you suck him, especially when you grab his balls and caress them, he cums so quick when that happens. He’s about 6.5 inches, and it loves fast, not as in quickie, but he loves seeing you fall apart as he jackhammers into your hole. When you ride him he gets so sweet, and he can last long, don’t worry, but you just look so pretty on top of him, he can’t help it, please don’t be mad at him. Has a thing for dry humping, especially in the morning when he’s too lazy to move properly. “So good baby, oh yeah, fuck, grind against me just like that, mmmf fuck…” loves to beg and watch you beg, he’s so good to and for you, don’t doubt him ever. He doesn’t shave, he trims it, but he’s so goofy, so once he shaved it into a heart.

[skylarsblue]

✦Incorrect C.O.D Quotes, since AO3 is down✦

Gaz: I wanna know what exactly your type is. Y/N: I'm not just gonna give you more fodder to throw at me- Gaz: I have an idea of it already, but I want details! Y/N: No! Gaz: Like- König! Would you- Y/N: Of fuckin’ course I wanna fuck König! He’s huge, he could LITERALLY snap me in half and my dad didn’t love me, of course I want him to fuck me! Soap: *does that weird inhale-choke-cough*

— (Dick mention + a woman’s experience of a dude making gross comments. It’s funny I swear-) Fem!medic!Y/N: most of the time, people are pretty nice and sometimes impressed when when I bring up I’m a medical professional. Other times…eh.. Soap: Eh? Y/N: Sometimes you get conspiracy theorists. Soap: Ohhhh… Y/N: Some evangelists, gross dudes. Gaz: Gross dudes? What’s the worst you’ve heard? Ghost, sipping a whiskey: This outta be good. Y/N: Uh, once I told this man hitting on me I was a field doctor? He said, and I quote. “Been awhile since my last check up, mind checking me for ball cancer.” And I- Gaz: WHAT Soap: YOU’RE KIDDING Y/N: I am not. I just- I walked away. Price: Fuckin’ hell. Y/N: It’s fine. He got shot in the dick next mission, ended up with a male doctor. Ghost: Karma at its best.

- Graves: Oh FUCK YOU Y/N: Tsk, oooo…you don’t have enough money for that. Soap: HAHA!

- Soap, drunk: Back Street’s back, alright! Do do do do- Gaz, drunk on Price’ shoulders: Dodooodo- Price: Simon, get your boy. Ghost: *picking Soap up by his belt, carrying him like a bag* Yes sir.

- Recruit: When you gonna stop giving me blue balls? Gaz: Whoa hey!- Y/N: Aight, I got my steel toes on. How bout we make’em black and blue? Recruit: I- Y/N: Shut the fuck up. I’ve already turned you down, get a hint. Word of advice? Rather than shoot for the stars, maybe shoot your shot in your lower bracket, yeah? Recruit: Gaz: Someone get a fire extinguisher, this dudes been burned. Soap: On it. *sprays recruit with fire extinguisher*

- Soap: Nice onesie, does it come in men’s? Gaz, in his pyjamas: I think you cum enough in men for the all of us. Soap: ACK- Ghost: *slides out of the room*

- Ghost: Have you ever considered, just once, using your brain first? Soap: Now why would I do that?

- (Insert random name I HC for Laswell’s wife) Kate, after being in a bad explosion and ending up in this hospital: My wife, she’ll get upset if she sees you rubbing me like that on my chest. Diana: I am your wife. Kate …. Diana: :) Heart rate monitor: BEEPBEEPBEEPBE- Kate Hi. Diana: Hehe, hi. Gaz, in the corner: Oh to be in love. Soap: This is disgusting, why can’t I have this? >:,( Gaz: Cause your type in men is awful. Soap: Hey!

- Y/N: *walks into common room* Hello, I am very upset. I feel a meltdown coming on and you are all buff men, so I would like to request being picked up and held like a baby for a short period of time, please. Soap: Do you want to talk about what’s bothering you? Y/N: Nope. König: ….*slowly approaches and picks Y/N up from under their arms* Y/N, clinging to him like a koala and hiding in his shoulder: Thank you, I appreciate you. König: *awkward back pat*

- König: :) Y/N: Bloopbloopbloopbloop- Horagi: Y/N! Y/N: What? Horagi: Tha-That is our colo-that is a dangerous man! Y/N: He’s not a dangerous man! Horagi: What are y- Y/N: We’re bloopin’! Bloopbloopbloop- König: -w-

- Price: Kid, I need you to- Gaz & Y/N: *dancing like they don’t have jobs to do* Gaz: Go stink! Y/N: Fuck it up! Gaz: Go stink! Y/N: Fuck it up! Gaz: Go stink! Y/N: That’s what’s up! Gaz: Go stink! Y/N: I’m in love! Price: AHEM Gaz: Oh shit- Y/N: HEEEYY captaaaaiinn, what’s uuupp ahaha… Price: *sigh*

- (Based on; Me if COD was real. Deadass. Full serious. I am not kidding) Gaz: So have you met the Captain yet? Y/N: No. Gaz: Are you nervous? Y/N: No no, I have a firm belief that they’re just people. Obviously I’ll respect him as a superior but that’s nnnnnnnnwho the hell is that? Y/N: *fucking breaking their neck* Gaz: Oh- Nope. No no, THAT is Captain. Don’t think about it. Y/N: I’m thinking about it. Gaz: That’s not allowed. Y/N: Ive done worse for less, if he asks I’m sucking it, you can’t stop me. Gaz: Jesus Bloody Christ- Y/N: Tell him to call me when he’s on leave. Gaz: Stop-

- König: *walks in* Ghost: ?? Soap: Oh, hey! Gaz: Y’a need somethi- König: *picks up Y/N under his arm while humming, leaving the room* König: I love stealing, I love taking things!~ Ghost: What the f-

- Colonel!König: I’m 42 so, I don’t- Y/N: YOU’RE 42?! Colonel!König: Yeah. Y/N: …it’s okay no one has to know babygirl~ König: NEIN! Nein, don’t call me babygirl!-

- (Based on this awful Gaz outfit I saw on Twitter) MILF!Y/N: *doing paperwork* Gaz: Would you date me? Y/N: Baby we couldn’t even get a drink together. You can’t buy me nothin. Gaz: What do you mean? :( Y/N: Look at your outfit! What are you wearing? Gaz: I think I look pretty fly. Y/N: For who, your mom? Gaz: :((

- Gaz: STOP DATING MY CAPTAIN Y/N: ….you know what, I’m gonna start dating him even harder. Gaz: What’s that supposed to mean? Y/N: You know what it means.

- MILF!Y/N: *shoving apple juice into a cart* They gon’ need nutrition. Laswell: How many kids do you have? MILF!Y/N: Eleven! Laswell: So I’m assuming your kids really like apple juice? MILF!Y/N: No but they looove orange juice but they’ve been bad this week. Laswell: What grade are your kids in? MILF!Y/N: Sixteenth grade. Laswell: PFFT Sixteenth- that’s not even a grade! So your kids graduated college? MILF!Y/N: No they, they- …where are my kids?

- (Her “kids” on the other side of the store) Price: Boys please- Gaz: I AM NOT LOSING! Soap, in a fuckin’ headlock with him: Yes you fuckin’ are!! Ghost: *slipping cookies under his mask, he did not pay for them* König: *looking for a fruity snack* Horagi: *grabbing as many packs of spicy chips as he can* Alejandro: This is a disgrace. *holding up frozen burritos* Rudy: These are worse. *motions to frozen tamales* Alex: Did you know you can use coke as rust remover? Farah: …and you want to drink it??

- Y/N: So. Kyle. Gaz, already afraid: …yes? Y/N: I found some of your old playlists… Gaz: Y/N: Gaz: Y/N: You an emo? Gaz: I was a SCENE as a teenager, get it right.

[hana-no-seiiki]

I’ve been stuck on this idea. Jinx reader with the batfam…I know you had it in your master list and I’ve been thinking about it for a while. Maybe when the reader was little, they doodled and made little trinkets like powder. So I’m thinking that the reader doodled on batmans tools. Kinda like how powder/jinx made their weapons with faces on them.

So maybe Batman and the rest of the boys were gone and reader snuck into the bar cave and started doodling on their masks and weapons.

And just another thought 😅

When reader is older, they become a vigilante, causing chaos for the fun of it but also doing it for good. They also move out when they were a kid, because maybe Batman called then a jinx (I’m really going for the arcane storyline 😭😭😭)

Maybe the batfam tries to bring her back, but she just kinda runs away laughing while throwing glitter bombs 😭😭😭

Just something I thought of

I don’t usually write reader as childhood friends with the guys here unless it’s cat villain (which is more like childhood rivals) so this is quite the change.

In my og storyline which i have semi spoiled and will spoil some more here : Jason and Jinx! Reader were part of a found family and Jason having a massive crush on reader gave them tools to make explosives they really shouldnt have. Which is kind of poetic knowing how he ‘dies’.

I’m not sure if this ask is platonic or romantic so I’ll just go with my preference, the latter.

this is just a little snippet since i started working on jinx reader again huhu wanna save the juicy stuff for that one

Jinx! Reader was known as the runt of the litter among Bruce’s adopted children. Physically weak, above average in smarts but nothing compared to the rest. The only thing they had going for them was their skill with firearms which Bruce heavily discouraged and admonished the practice of.

Jason and you bonded with rebelling against him. He’d often bring you out to abandoned arcades that you two would repair from scraps you found in the Batcave. Dude was down atrocious. He kept bringing you to missions purely because he couldn’t resist your face. Sure he was snarky at times, but your common upbringing made him more soft around you. (Sometimes he purposely puts you in situations where you’d get caught just so he can ‘save’ you. The way you hold unto him for dear life is…simply exhilarating)

But try as he might, he could never fill the hole you had in your heart. Your desire for a complete family. For validation. For Bruce to finally acknowledge your worth. For Damian to stop calling you a fucking waste of space.

You ended up screwing a mission so badly that you indirectly killed dozens of Gotham citizens.

Usually you would just compromise their positions during patrols but this was… this was something irreversible. Something that affected friends, families, actual living breathing people.

Bruce had a tight cap on his emotions, but he just couldn’t stop himself from taking out his anger, grief and frustration out on you.

Dick and Jason managed to pull him back before he could hurt you beyond a punch to the face, but the psychological damage had already been cemented.

You run away, running into Harley Quinn.

But instead of following the path my og jinx reader did, Joker wasn’t there to fuck with your head even further. So you sought to repay for your sins.

Still, the screams. The way Bruce called you useless, a jinx. The memories of being neglected and inferior.

Sometimes chaos was the only way to make it shut up.

[jar-of-something-else]

LET THESE FREAKS FUCK NASTY!!

i'm sick and flipping tired of nobody letting heavy, pyro, or scout be insane and it's my american right to make it happen (this is for the anon that wanted mean pyro and for another anon that wanted heavy) (scout is for me)

under the cut obvs!!

WARNINGS: AFAB reader, crazy nsfw, CRINGE ASS DIALOGUE BITS!!!!! i wanted to try something new tell me if it's too gross and i'll stop and delete my whole account, mercs being MEAN!!!! also there's some russian (google translate russian) promise i'll provide translations <3

under 16 DNI !!!!!!!! please and thanks :)

Pyro:

-pyro has a neat little storage ottoman at the foot of his bed and guess what!! it's filled with sex toys!!!! who could have guessed!!!!!

-he's got a very wide variety of items 'cause he likes to keep it crazy; these items are included but not limited to: icy-hot (for temp play), handcuffs of many varieties, non-abrasive rope (for comfort), insane amounts of phallic rubber items (and glass he doesn't care) and just so so many more

-obvi the rope is used to tie you up but it's less shibari and more just restricting your movements by tying you to the bed/tying your arms and legs together

-obviously not the biggest talker (at least not anything you can understand), so whenever he wants to humiliate or degrade you, he'll grab your jaw and make you look into the goggles on his mask (it's a little scary) while he does whatever the hell to you

-not above teasing you in public and on the battlefield, he gets a laugh out of it

-touching a little more on the waxplay thing, pyro has a variety of candlesticks as well as regular candles in the jar containers. usually, he lets the ones in the jar burn for a bit until there's a pool of wax that he uses to cover larger areas on you, and the candlesticks are burnt while he drips the wax across your body

-into the idea of exhibitionism, hence the willingness to get you going in public areas, but he wouldn't actually want another person there during actual sex

-voyeurism on the other hand he is 100% down for

-wouldn't want to permanently damage you or anything, but pyro does like to use matches or a lighter to burn you just a teeny tiny little bit

Heavy:

-oh lord

-in my personal opinion, i think heavy is around 7 feet tall and 360-400 pounds so he's a BIG FUCKING GUY and obviously that's gonna translate to his dick

-more girth compared to length but sweet baby jesus it doesn't really matter at this point dude is SCARY big

-if you don't stop him (or if your begging doesn't get to him), he could prep you for hours on end. he wants to make sure he doesn't hurt you but another part of him very much enjoys overstimulating and making you beg for him to do something else

"Ты думаешь, что готов, маленький зайчик? Я не согласен. Мой член слишком велик для тебя." (you think you are ready little bunny? i disagree. my cock is just too big for you.)

-when heavy does finally decide to fuck you for real he goes wayyy too slow; he tells you it's for you to adjust but he just keeps dragging it out to tease you even more

-due to the whole "lets drag this thing out as long as possible" experience, it could lead to a lot of overstimulation. naturally, heavy's response to this is to just edge you until you're so desperate that you can't see straight

-like i mentioned in my first nsfw post, heavy has a BIG ASS breeding kink. he won't tell you (unless you know russian) but he does refer to himself as daddy when/if you let him cum inside you; he just thinks it's embarrassing after the fact and he doesn't wanna tell you

"Ты был так хорош для папы, ты заслуживаешь награды." (you've been so good for daddy, you deserve a reward)

Scout:

-my favorite part of the whole post !!!

-very very fast paced (obviously) and does enjoy slightly disorienting you with the speed he does things. whether he's fingering you, eating you out, or actually fucking you he makes sure to speed up as a little surprise

-sometimes he'll go hard enough to make his (or your) bed frame rock against the wall and he will rub it in the other mercs faces if someone knocks on the door to get you guys to shut up

"Oh wassat? You jealous I'm gettin' laid and you're not? Take that shiny bald head of yours and shove it up your ass, pal, I'm a little busy in here!" (could be talking to heavy or engineer you choose)

-i mentioned scout calling himself daddy in my last post (which IS canon i double checked) and it just got me thinkin so hard....he doesn't let you call him by his real name while he's fucking you, otherwise he'll stop what he's doing completely until you say it

"I don't know much about dis Jeremy guy you keep talkin' about, but it's startin' ta piss me off how often you're sayin' his name. Why don't you tell me who's really fuckin' ya this well, huh doll? Go ahead n' say it fa daddy." (i tried to write out his accent i love it so much but i'm so sorry to boston)

-whenever spy is out on a mission and you and scout are back at base he will sneak into spy's smoking room with you and fuck there. scout doesn't appreciate the subtle flirts he sees spy send your way, so he likes to give him a little reminder of who you chose to be with (even if it's in the form of cum stains on spy's velvet couch)

[elsweetheart]

what’s the worst that could happen to a girl that’s already hurt?

🎀 when your best friend ellie stands you up, the man who raised you both swoops in to save the day.

🎀 kittie??? using capital letters?? well i never. i present the much awaited father figure joel fic! it’s also a bff!ellie fic! double homicide. warning: it’s pretty angsty in some places, mentions of your birth father being a shitty guy, mention of alcohol (unrelated to your dad), all around daddy issues, ellie’s kind of a dick in this, fem!reader, reader is a woman luver, this is NOT hate towards dina she is simply just there, lemme know if i missed anything! p.s i’m trying out adding little cover pics to my fic, tried to make this one have the same vibes as like a journal / diary entry with stickers n stuff ? ok bye

Ellie was an everywhere kind of girl. She was strong, capable, intelligent, and always knew what to do. To you, she was truly a superhero around Jackson, always making sure that everyone was safe and doing her best to take on the jobs she thought was too dangerous for everyone else. Her selflessness was what drew you to her in a romantic sense in the first place, not that she had any idea. In her eyes, the two of you were long time best friends who grew up together — experiencing just about everything together, and you were certain to her that’s all it was. You’d liked her since you’d met.

For the most part, it didn’t suck. getting to be close with Ellie made it worth it, smoking together, laughing, and sometimes even playfully flirting (the butterflies in your stomach can attest to this.) There were hard times of course, Ellie getting with other girls and telling you all about them, the fact she probably saw you as a little sister, and most recently — she’d gotten super busy. So busy, that you had to start going out of your way just to say hi to her each day, always running about Jackson to find her. To you, it was worth it. You missed her.

“Boo!” Two hands grabbed you from behind as you swept the hay in the barn making you yelp and turn around with a wide eyed expression. “Totally got you.” Ellie smirked, backing off. She wore her khaki green jacket that you loved over her hoodie, done up with her jeans and her backpack on.

“What’re you doing here?” You asked softly, chest swelling with affection. She stepped around you, going to pat one of the horses as greeting.

“Thought I’d stop by, about to head out on patrol.” She took a carrot from the feeding tray and fed it to the horse.

“You always seem to be on patrol.” You smiled, and you cursed yourself at how it came out. It sounded kind of bitter, and shit — maybe you were a little bitter— but you knew it wasn’t ultimately her fault that you felt neglected. Perceptive as ever, Ellie turned her head towards you quickly wearing guilt on her face.

“I’m sorry, dude. I miss hanging out.” She took a step towards you and you let yourself sulk, turning your back to her and continuing to sweep. “I do.” She took another step closer.

“Don’t call me dude. I’m a girl.” You were being a little pathetic now, punishing her when she didn’t fully deserve it.

“Since when?” She chuckled and you whipped your head to her in shock, a look of anger and disbelief accidentally showcased in your expression. “I mean since when did you care about me calling you dude?”

When you didn’t respond, Ellie sighed— stepping up directly behind you. “Alright, I didn’t wanna have to do this. But I’m gonna have to call in reinforcements from the tickle monster.” She spoke seriously, and before you got the chance to protest this her hands were jabbing into your waist, fingers wiggling up and down your ribs as you squealed, a smile making a breakthrough onto your face as if despite everything your body couldn’t help but enjoy her touch.

“Ellie stop!” You chortled, your hands falling loose on the broom. Before it fell, Ellie reached around and caught it before swinging it round and hiding it behind her back. You spun around to her, lurching forward to try and grab it but instead just stepping right up close into her space.

It seemed like everything froze, just like that. Your faces were close and her eyes were boring into yours — the green of them almost painfully bright today, her cheeks looking like they’d caught a bit of sun, hair jostled in her messy half bun from all the commotion. You blinked up at her, collecting yourself as she smiled back smugly.

“Give my broom back.” You breathed out, confidence slightly lost at the close proximity.

“One condition.” She whispered and you leant on your hip with an attitude, tilting your head at her as if to say ‘what?’. She sucked in a breath, and you swear her eyes flickered to your lips for just a second but you might have imagined it. “Stop being mad at me. Let’s hang out.” She proposed and your heart fluttered. Finally.

“Alright.” You muttered with a shy smile and she tilt her head, grin widening.

“Yeah?” She seemed equally excited, and you felt elated. You had gotten in your own head a little with Ellie being so busy, thinking that maybe she’d been busy for a reason — trying to politely get you off her back. This was the confirmation you’d needed that you were overthinking, as usual.

“Remember how you said you were gonna teach me about skin… care…stuff? Let’s do it. It’s about time I start acting like a girl.” She chuckled, stepping back and breaking the tension of your closeness a little. You stepped back too, a little flushed from the moment and nodded happily. Footsteps approached the barn, capturing your attention for a moment before you rushed to organise your little hang out session.

“Tonight? At mine?”

Ellie’s head was turned towards the door, distracted by Dina poking her head around and realising she had been keeping her waiting. Her head snapped back to you as she wiped her hands down on her jeans nodding.

“Yeah, cool. I gotta get going but I’ll see you, yeah? It’s a date.” She rambled out, walking backwards for a moment to face you before turning around as you bid her farewell. You tried not to overthink the ‘it’s a date.’

Night time rolled around, and you were cringing at yourself in the mirror. It was just going to be a chill little night in with Ellie, the same way it always was since you’d had your own place in Jackson— but you’d put in a little extra effort to look cute, despite wearing just a tank top and pyjama pants. You did your hair all pretty, applying a little bit of makeup you’d made yourself from ingredients, which you’d learnt how to make from a book about female prisoners. You felt cute, and you were hoping Ellie might think the same— but you didn’t wanna get ahead of yourself.

A knock at your door sounded a little while into the night, and you tried to quell the relieved butterflies tearing through your stomach by taking a deep breath, heading out your room to answer it. You swung the door open, expecting Ellie — only to be met with Joel. Your smile faltered for no more than a second, wondering how long Ellie’s patrol was going on for before fixing your face, not wanting to hurt his feelings.

Joel was what you thought every man should be. You’d first met him and Ellie a few days outside of Jackson when they were trying to find Joel’s brother, Tommy. You were headed to Jackson too to find the only person that might’ve been alive in your family, your dad. You were no more than a year younger than Ellie, out there all by yourself and Joel couldn’t let you continue on that way. You were headed to the same place, so he let you tag along — plus, he figured Ellie might want a friend. So it turned out, your dad wasn’t the greatest guy. He was just as neglectful and angry since the last time you’d seen him as a child. After causing more damage, he packed up with his new family and left the safe haven of Jackson to live in a warmer climate (for whatever reason.) You were just a kid, a damaged and lonely kid — and Joel being the man he was, stepped up. He wasn’t just caring for Ellie, he now had you on his hands— making sure your needs were met and you were living comfortably in your new residence. The two of you had grown close over the years, he was the closest thing to a father you ever had.

“Y’asked to borrow sugar for those cookies you said you’d make for Maria’s thing?” He drawled, swinging his backpack off his shoulder to dig through it— having remembered the favour you’d briefly asked of him a week ago. “Got a whole tub of it, right here. Don’t let anyone else see that, they’ll come knockin’ and you’ll be out again in no time.” He presented you with a wooden tub, filled to the brim with brown sugar. Your expression softened, taking it in your hands as you looked up at him gratefully.

“Knew I could count on you, old man.” you grinned, the nickname you and Ellie had so kindly gifted him never losing its charm. He nodded, shy of affection but smiled anyway — your sweet ways poking him right in the soft spot. He stepped back to walk away, and before he could go any further your voice cut through, stopping him in his tracks.

“Joel.” you shot out, almost urgently. God, you felt a little desperate.

“Yeah?” He gruffed, and you paused for a moment, brows furrowed as you started to realise how late it was actually getting. Was Ellie coming at all? He saw right through your expression, knowing that something had to be bothering you. Joel stepped a little closer, tilting his head at your far away expression. “What’s up, kiddo?” Any other time you’d smile at the nickname. Ellie was kid, and you were kiddo. That, or ‘thing one’ and ‘thing two’ from that old Cat in the Hat book he’d shown you.

“Have you seen Ellie tonight, at all?” you gnawed on your bottom lip, trying to hide your concern and failing. Joel seemed to falter, his eyes skimming from you to behind you, noticing how you’d set up your living room. Jars of the skincare, face masks, the lot of it — laid out on the coffee table. Bowls of snacks sat out, untouched, with blankets strewn about to make the couch look comfy and fun. You’d even hung up some fairy lights that had been a pain to find batteries for if he remembers correctly, you begging him to always look for them on his hunts. He was piecing things together a little when your voice dragged his attention back to you, your frown deepening. “It’s just, she said she was gonna come round and hang out with me tonight. ‘Was gonna teach her about skin care. We haven’t hung out in ages and I guess… I just thought…” You trailed off, Joel’s eyes dropping down to his shoes briefly.

“Yeah, uh.” He cleared his throat a little awkwardly, unsure how to approach the situation that he was realising to be more delicate than he thought. “Saw ‘er at the bar with that Dina on the way over here. They… were gettin’ pretty wasted.” He sounded apologetic, like he knew just how pathetic you were and you couldn’t stop your face from falling — rejection and humiliation swiftly settling in making your cheeks heat up.

“Oh.” Your eyes widened, before they dropped away from Joel’s pitying gaze. “Yeah, makes sense I mean they were just on patrol together.” You rushed out a chuckle, hand resting back on your door like you wanted to close it. “Well thanks for stopping by with the sugar Joel, you’re the best.” You hurried, backing up so you could send him away, not wanting to give away how upset you were. It was no use though, Joel knew you. He knew the look on your face all too well, that same look of rejection on your face that he’d seen when your dad was still around. You had tells, your face would go all tight and rigid like you were afraid any display of emotion might send you hurtling over the edge into tears. Joel placed his hand on the door before you had even made an attempt to shut it, gazing at you for a moment trying to find the right words to say. It wasn’t often he had to do this kind of thing, a dad duty.

“You uh— you got room for me in there? I’m startin’ to look a little old, maybe I could… benefit from this typ’a thing.” He suggested, voice serious like it always was with a softness to his expression. You stared back at him, slightly surprised but considering it. You could send him away, spend the rest of the night in tears and eating all the snacks you’d prepared, or… “Until Ellie decides to show her sorry ass, of course.” He added, throwing in a jokey smile at the end. Joel smiling was rare, so when he did smile you always found it contagious. You pushed your door open wider, stepping aside.

“Welcome to my spa, mister Miller.”

Before long, Joel’s coat and boots were kicked off at your door and he was sat on your couch, your cold hands smearing your home made face mask over his face.

“You really need to shave. This beard is what’s making you look old.” You joked, the pink goo narrowly avoiding his beard hairs as you rubbed it into his cheek.

“Yeah yeah, you try findin’ a razor that’s worth shit around here.” He shook his head making you tut at his movement obstructing your application. “This supposed to burn?” He frowned, pointing to his face. Your eyes widened, pulling back. You were sure you had made it hypoallergenic, but the book you learnt how to make it from was pretty dated — maybe it was wrong. He chuckled at your expression, relaxing. “m’fuckin with ya, kiddo.”

You scrunched your nose angrily, scooping out some product and smearing it over his mouth so he couldn’t talk, his reaction to this making you burst out laughing. He wiped it off with the back of his hand, glaring at you, scrunching his own face up in disgust.

“Tastes like shit.”

“Well that’s because you’re not supposed to eat it, it’s to replenish the moisture barrier in your skin.” You enunciated, repeating what you’d read in your book proudly.

“To what?” He sarked and you rolled your eyes playfully, prodding his cheek gently to get him to turn it.

“No more questions. Let me finish this, grandpa.” You concentrated, applying the rest of the face mask to his skin. You leant back, admiring his glossy pink mask, all done. “Well, don’t you look pretty.” You held back your laugh, and he reached up to gently touch the sticky layer over his skin.

“What, you ain’t got no cucumbers for my eyes?” he leant back in his seat and you laughed at the imagery as you picked up your hand mirror, beginning to apply the face mask to your own skin.

“C’mon now Joel. You know that cucumbers are a luxury this time of year, I’m not wasting them on you.” You scooped out product, smoothing the refreshing slime across your cheek. He chuckled, raising his eyebrows as if to say ‘fair enough’ before falling quiet. You glanced his way, nodding at the popcorn bowl on the table. “Help yourself to the snacks, or i’m just gonna eat them all.” You chuckled lightly. He didn’t, as expected— arms crossed over his chest.

“So what do I do now? Just wait?” He looked around, taking in the way you’d decorated the place with hopes to impress Ellie. His heart was old and damaged, but it twinged in sympathy for you — knowing her repeated absence was probably weighing on you, the pair of you once joined at the hip.

“Yeah, it’ll dry and then you can peel it right off.” You smiled, your focus now centred in on making sure you didn’t get the mask in your eyebrows.

“Kiddo, I’m sorry you got stood up.” He turned to look at you and your movements froze, turning to look back at him caught off guard.

“Really, Joel— it’s okay, and I really appreciate you being here.” You smile, trying to convince him that you weren’t hurt by Ellie ditching you for Dina, the pure existence of the dark haired girl filling you with nerves and slight insecurity.

“But you’d rather her be here, right?” You wanted to put your defensives up, but his thick comforting accent made you sigh— putting down the jar and mirror, finished on your face. It was hard not to tell Joel the truth, maybe it would feel good to talk to someone about it. You opened your mouth to speak, and he cut you off. “You like’er.” He stated, and your words died in your throat. Surely he wasn’t calling you out like that?

“Of course I like Ellie, she’s my—”

“Not… like that. You love her.”

Your throat closed up and you blinked, how the fuck did he know? You said nothing, confirming his suspicions with your silence and your eyes got a little glassy, sure that this ordeal was making you look even more pathetic than before.

“And, hell— I want you to know it’s alright by me. Not that you need my permission or anythin’ but— i’m… i’m good with the gay stuff, always have been. N’ you two make sense together. I think i’ve always kinda known.” His forehead line deepened as he tried to word things sensitively, being gentle not exactly his forte.

“Well… thanks Joel. i’m sure i’ll just… get over it.”

“What I’m sayin’ is… You can talk to me. Alright?”

“Alright.”

You’d helped Joel peel off the mask, and now you were applying a cooling moisturiser that you’d made to his skin that was a little pink from the peel. “Now you’d better not go around tellin’ anyone I’d had a spa day with you. Don’t wanna damage my reputation.” He weakly threatened you as you smoothed the pearly product into his rough skin. Times like this, when he was going back and forth with you in such a humorous way made it easy to forget what he was capable of, how many people he’d killed effortlessly.

“And what’s your reputation. Grumpy old man?” You raised an eyebrow making him chuckle.

“Watch it.”

You moved on to apply the product to your own face, and he picked up your hand mirror, checking out your handiwork. To him, he looked the same — just a little shinier, though he wasn’t sure what he was expecting. A comfortable silence fell over you as you smoothed the product into your skin, reaching forward with your other hand and stuffing some popcorn into your mouth. His chuckle faded into a fond smile as he watched you miss your mouth with some of the kernels, giggling to yourself.

“You and Sarah would’a got on.”

Maybe he was feeling sentimental, it was always harder not to face your emotions later on in the night — and perhaps the ambience of your home that you’d made was reminding him of old times. You slowed your movements, as if you’d move too fast and burst his bubble of reminiscing. You wanted Joel to feel comfortable like he’d made you. You even chewed slower to be quieter, staying silent to let him speak as he stared into space at one of the lit candles on your fireplace. “She always liked doin’ this kinda thing. I always said no. Was too much of a manly man.” He scoffed with a sad smile at the silliness behind his reason, shaking his head slightly in regret.

“I would have liked to know her.” You admit softly, staring at his profile— still glowy from the product you’d applied.

“She was all girly, like you. Always wearin’ pink n’ purple. Would’a been the best of friends.” He finally turned to look at you, his eyes a little sad and glossy at the distant and lost possibility. Yours were too, you couldn’t imagine his loss— Joel never spoke about Sarah. You realised now, that he was sharing something vulnerable with you because you’d been brave enough to fess up to something vulnerable too that night, which made your heart expand in size by ten. For tonight, your Ellie wound was patched up by Joel. You touched his arm, and you shared a smile.

Joel stood with his boots on, pulling his coat on at the door — having just reached midnight and he figured it wasn’t appropriate to stay any longer.

“You feeling like a new man after that facial?” You jabbed with a grin. He chuckled, buttoning up his thick jacket preparing for the snowy weather.

“Damn right.” He went along with it making you laugh. He stood up straight after pulling his backpack on his back, looking down at you with more sincerity now. “You gonna be alright kiddo? Can talk to her if you want but I reckon you… got it handled.” He trailed off knowingly when your eyes widened at the suggestion.

“No, I’m sure me and her will talk… and i’m okay, thanks Joel.” You nod at him with more meaning than you’re both willing to address again and he nods back.

“I’ll see you.”

Jackson was quiet that time of night, watching his step as to not slip on melted ice. Joel’s eyes flit up from his boots to the figure fumbling away from the bar on the path towards the living spaces. Ellie, drunk as a skunk hobbling home, Dina in the distance stumbling her separate way.

“Ellie.” Joel greet, stepping up behind her and she swung around, gleefully throwing her arms up.

“Joel!”

“Let’s get you home.” He nodded, stepping by her side to make sure she didn’t fall and hurt herself. He wasn’t mad at her, she probably didn’t even know — but he couldn’t help but sigh at her thoughtless, joyful mood.

“Why’re you out so late, old man?” Ellie slurred slightly, head bowed to watch her step carefully.

“Don’t you worry about me kid.” He took a hold of her arm when she stumbled lightly, having lost the card game one too many times with Dina. Dina had needed cheering up after a spat with Jesse, and Ellie had stepped up to help being the good friend she was. It was mainly to get her to stop whining about it on their shared patrol trips.

“You had plans tonight. Shouldn’t’ve been in there gettin’ wasted. You know that.” His voice was quiet but meaningful and Ellie’s head rose from its position, staring ahead with a confused expression before it settled in realisation, saying your name.

“Shit.” She swore, wiping a hand down her face as she arrived at her house, right beside Joel’s. The thought of blowing you off so badly seemed sobering and she climbed the porch step, fumbling for her keys and turning to look at the man stood before her, even in her drunk state recognising the fatherly look of disappointment on his face. “Was she mad?” She squint and Joel stepped back.

“No.” He confirmed and she sighed, watching him for a moment. “Make it right, Ellie.” He nodded, before departing to his own house. Ellie sighed once more. She’d fucked up, bad.

♡ ♡ ♡

[yall-hate-kids-tourney]

Loser Round 4: Damian Wayne (DC) vs. Jason Todd (DC)

A rematch? It's so funny how the bracket turned out this way.

Propaganda under the cut.

Damian Wayne (9-14):

Damian is a kid who was raised as an assassin and because of that when he first appears he has some really messed up ideas of how to prove himself to his father by being aggressive with the criminals they capture and attacking his brother. Because of this people act like he is the most evil character ever and refuse to give him any grace. They make him out to be this awful irredeemable monster who just wants to kill his brother and hurt people. If the fandom isn’t making his out to be The Worst(tm) then they are ignoring his existence all-together. He is a really interesting character who has done some not so great things but he’s grown and learned a lot through various character arcs (as much of an arc as a comic book character can have) and he deserves to be acknowledged for himself and not just as a villain so that people can woobify his brother.

——

HES JUST A LITTLE BABY GUY!!!!! Little baby man raised as an assassin and learning how to be a real person <3. But because he was kind of a dick and also a little stabby early-on, especially to the fandom's main "so sad uwu depressed baby" blorbo (and also he's not white), people treat him like he's satan incarnate

Jason Todd (~12):

Most of the Tumblr fandom likes this guy but if you step outside this website then wham so many people say he got what he deserved as a kid and Batman can't be cool if he's a dad so it's important for Batman to trash-talk his dead child constantly so we can all agree what a bad idea it was. Also wanna highlight that a lot of the records we have from fans at the time were clear they disliked Robin for BEING a child. Like a lot of the little dude characters in this tournament are treated too harshly for making an ugly choice and the fans aren't being understanding or sympathetic that the choice is made by a child character who is immature and not developed and strong enough to make a good choice and stuff. But THIS little dude was specifically hated FOR being a child. People wanted tough loner guy Batman not Batdad and his little buddy. The first Robin would drive back from college and guest star sometimes and be advertised as the Teen Wonder and people were like yeah okay but then Batman actually starts being a single parent for a child with needs and people were like UGH not the BOY Wonder. Today pretty much everywhere you see Batman fans saying Batman is better solo, no kid, it's not realistic to have a kid, a kid shouldn't be in the movies blah. Even if the comics they always find a way to send away the new kid so that Batman never has to parent. So all the Robins are being excluded from the narrative but I think this one is THE symbol of Batman fans hating a child character just for being a child.

-

Robin, Jason Todd, THE hated child character. In the 1980s, Batman comics had become increasingly dark and gritty. According to editor O'Neil himself, the courted audience wasn't kids but 19-40 year old men with disposable income. Batman's child sidekick, Robin, was offensively campy and childish. Fans called him wimpy, annoying, dumb, bratty, etc. Also people complained that Batman acting like an affectionate dad was unmanly and gay. Robin acts violent and emotional and people are like "ew he's so childish and emotional"—and then Batman literally acts just as murderously and emotionally within literally the same exact story and people are like "wow he's so dark and tortured". So in 1988 (after brutalizing Batgirl to get rid of her for being too bright and nice and kid-friendly), DC held a paid poll for fans to vote for Robin to live or die. O'Neil claims he heard a fan (a grown man with a dayjob as a lawyer) programmed a phone to spam kill votes. One fanguy claimed that he sold his Mercedes to buy kill votes (probably an exaggeration but still). By less than 1% margin, the vote decided to kill Robin in a spectacularly violent way. Anyway the 1989 Batman movie brought in a huge wave of new child comicbook fans who liked the new Robin (a very cool teenage high school Robin with a driver's license and a girlfriend), and DC started a separate Robin-less Batman series called Legends of the Dark Knight to make the anti-Robin writers and fans happy. But to this day, many fans agree it was a good idea to kill off the other Robin so that his foolish death reminds other characters to never be childish and stupid again. Bonus: the current Robin (usually a traumatized 10-year-old) has also been facing some pretty loud hatred for over 15 years.

[mattsdae]

so mean

// matt stone x fem reader , mean dom!matt , degradation , verbal humiliation , man handling , generally rough sex , dacryphilia , cunnilingus , vaginal intercourse , fingering , cum eating (kinda?)

nsfw under tab

matt has a special ability that isn’t too impressive. if anything, it turns most people away from him and he understands why. telling someone your talented at being an asshole isn’t the best look. he isn’t always a dick, though. he’s actually really respectful to people, but whenever they turn their back, it’s free game.

you always liked that about him. it was funny seeing him go from sweet and respectful to rude and down right mean as soon as they get out of ear shot. sometimes you’d hit him on the arm or tell him to shut up, but you always laughed. he loved making you laugh, especially at other peoples expense.

sometimes you wondered if he talked about you before in the same manner. most people would be insecure about the idea, but you found it strangely attractive. he was mean and you liked it, even if it would be directed at you.

“matt? matt stone?” a man came up. matt paused and nodded. people didn’t stop him often, but when they did, he was always sweet and respectful. even when they’d turn their backs, he didn’t say much. he only liked talking shit about people he felt deserved it.

“dude, it’s such an honor!” he grinned and held out his hand. matt shook it and nodded.

“nice to meet you,” matt responded. you knew how much he hated being hyped up. it was sweet at first but people often went a little too far with their praise, sometimes bombarding him with compliments on the show. he was a normal dude, so hearing strangers praise his work was a hit jarring, even after being in the business for such a long time.

“oh my god, do you think you can do me a huge favor?” and there it was, the final nail in the coffin. you already knew what was coming. matt nodded awkwardly as he pulled out a thick pile of papers with a show title on the front. you looked away to hide your smile. “do you think you can read this over and tell me if it’s any good? i really want to pitch this to comedy central and i just wanna know if it has any potential.”

“uh, yeah, sure,” matt looked visibly uncomfortable, but people like this were never socially aware. the man quickly pulled out a pen and wrote his phone number on the front.

“just gimme a call when you read it! thank you so much! and put in a good word for me, will you?” matt nodded as the guy walked off. you held your hand over your mouth.

“this motherfucker really said put in a good word for me,” matt finally started. you bursted out laughing.

“i was trying so hard not to laugh,” you said though giggles. he shook his head and started walking.

“it’s almost admirable how dense that dude is. i mean, does he know how many of these i get?” you shook your head. “think about it, how many scripts have i read that’s been given to me by fans,” he airquoted. he knew people who truly enjoyed the show would never do something like this.

“none-“

“fucking goose egg,” he interrupted. you laughed again as you started heading into the restaurant matt’s been talking about. “you see me with my girl, obviously dressed up for a date, and you think it’s a good time to give me a shitty ass script?”

he laughed as he went up to the host stand, giving the name for the reservation and asking her to throw away the script. you chuckled again as you were seated.

“sometimes, i feel like i can be too much of an asshole, but shit like that makes me feel like i’m too nice to people.” you nodded as you glanced over the menu.

“you are an asshole, but you get away with it ‘cause you only talk shit to me,” you chuckled. he shrugged as the waitress came up and asked for your drink order.

“i hate being rude, but i can’t not talk shit about people like that! they act like i fuckin’ own the place,” he laughed after she left. he shook his head. “knowing my luck, i’ll tell someone to fuck off and they’ll go to tmz.”

“since when did you care about tmz?” you laughed.

“i don’t! but i don’t need random people speculating about my personality! anyone would get pissed off over constantly being given stupid script after stupid script. and to ask me to put in a good word to?!” you laughed.

“you’re still stuck on that?” you ask as the waitress put down the drinks.

“of coarse i am!” he said before ordering for you and him. “what good word would i put in? oh, this guy that randomly walked up to me in the street and harassed me into reading his script actually has a good pilot! you should make this into a show, mr.comedy central! fucking pathetic.”

you laughed along, but the last sentence made your chest flutter. even though most of what he said was true and not exactly mean, you still found yourself getting a little wet at the way he spoke.

“one day, i’m gonna have to actually take someones script and call them a few days later and just tear into it. tell them how unfunny the jokes are, how unnatural the dialogue is, or just tell them it’s shit and to never make another person be forced to shit through 20 pages of garbage.”

“that’s so mean!” you respond with a smile. “you’re gonna make them cry, matt.”

“good. maybe they’ll stop being a lowlife and leave LA instead of taking up space.” you rolled your eyes with a smile. he moved on after that statement, instead focusing on you and how your day was. the food was good, the conversations were better and by the time you got home, you were all over eachother.

“matt,” you pulled away. he had you pinned against the front door within seconds of getting into the house and he instantly went in for a messy and desperate makeout session. “you know how you’re an asshole?”

“i guess,” he chuckled. you looked away and let your hands run up his chest.

“do you think you can do that to me?” you look up and smile. he looked away with a smirk before finally returning to your gaze.

“you sure about that, sweetheart? i don’t wanna make you cry,” he teased and leaned closer, keeping eye contact as he tilted his head. “why? do you want me to.”

you nodded quickly as he started kissing your neck, his hands grabbing at your hips and pulling you closer. you moaned as his hands explored your chest and waist. he smiled against your skin.

“you gotta tell me if i’m going too far.. you know how i can get,” he said and glanced up towards your face, seeing your head fallen back and mouth agape. “talk to me, princess.”

“okay, i’ll tell you,” you responded, feeling your stomach warm up at the sterness in his voice. he nodded and kissed you on the neck gently.

“good girl. go to the bedroom and get ready. i’ll be up there in five,” he said and pulled away, smiling at your reddened face. “and if you’re not ready by the time i’m up there..”

he trailed off, looking you up and down like a piece of meat. you nodded and scampered off to the room, blushing harder when you heard him chuckle behind you. once the door shut, you immedietly started pulling off your clothes and throwing them to the corner.

you knew this would end like every date night, so you already had your pretty stuff on. he always gawked over you when you wore pink, so the pink bralette and panty set was an obvious choice. after going to the bathroom and touching up your makeup, you got back in the bed and kneeled.

waiting was possibly the worst part. the time between getting ready and him walking through the door always invited insecure thoughts. it sucked, but as soon as he enters the room, it always disappaited. you smiled when he opened the door, still dressed in his slacks and button up. it all fit him perfectly.

“aw.. i see what you’re doing,” he said. you felt your stomach tense. his voice was more gravely than normal and he sounded like a movie villian. “you trying to look all cute so i’ll be nicer to you?”

“no, i just-“

“did i tell you to talk?” he cut you off and glared. you shut your mouth and swallowed, shying away from him. his dress shoes clicked against the hardwood before entering the bedroom. for once, you felt truly intimidated by him. “why do you look scared? i thought you asked for this.”

he stood over you, head held high. you looked down and jumped when he grabbed your jaw, making you look back up. he leaned down, his face right next to yours.

“is this okay?” he said gently, completely opposing his original tone. you nodded. “use your words.”

“yes, it’s okay.” he nodded and leaned back. he looked over you, making you feel the need to cover up. like a predator looking at its prey, he seemingly drooled at the thought of destroying you.

“you look so pretty. touched up your makeup too, hm?” he said as he ran his finger along your jaw, glancing at your lips. “too bad it’s gonna get ruined. go ahead and get on your knees in front of me.”

he stepped back and smirked as you immedietly followed. you looked up at him again, now feeling even smaller than before. he crouched down and untied your hair, letting it down before twirling it with his finger. looking up at him was intimidating enough, but now that you two were eye to eye, you felt like you were gonna cry.

he looked at your lips for a moment before his hand found its way to your jaw, rubbing his thumb on your lower lip. you looked at him as he made you pout. he smiled.

“you are just too cute,” he said before tapping your lip. “open up.” you did and his slid his thumb past your bottom teeth and let your lips close around it. you kept eye contact as you sucked.

you knew matt, arguably better than anyone else, but the look in his eye was something you’ve never seen before. his gaze was piercing, almost daring you to disobey. he didn’t say what he’d do if you weren’t ready in time, but the look in his eye made you question if you wanted to find out.

“you wanna suck me off?” you nod, his finger still pressed against your tongue. “go ahead and ask.”

you looked at him, confused. he rose his eyebrow at you before rolling his eyes and standing, combing his fingers through your hair. you gasped when he gripped onto a chunk and pulled your head back.

“am i gonna have to spell everything out for you?” he said. your stomach flipped. “go ahead and ask if you can suck me off.”

he glared, arms crossed and everything. your lip trembled as you looked down. your hands formed into fists. you still felt his eyes on you as you tried to speak. a tiny whimper came out when he hooked his finger under your jaw and made you look up again.

“can i.. please?” you ask, embarassed to actually say it. he tsked and shook his head.

“you’re gonna have to try harder than that, baby.” you swallowed and blinked, letting a tear fall. he smiled. “aww, are you really crying? come on, you can’t even take a little teasing?”

you wiped your face and sniffled. you heard him laugh above you as you tried to speak again, stuttering through your words.

“wow.. can’t even speak clearly. it’s gonna be a long night if you can’t follow these simple orders.” he tilted his head again and smiled, teasing. you whimpered and looked up at him. he leaned forward a bit and cupped his ear.

“can i please suck your cock?” you asked. he smirked and stood straight again, rolling his shoulders as he unzipped his pants.

“good girl,” he said. even though you were eye to eye with it, you were still a bit suprised by how hard he was.

you knew he was good at being mean, but you didn’t expect him to enjoy it this much. he wasn’t exactly kinky, always just going along with what you wanted. it was a nice change of pace, though. you leaned towards him, only to be pulled back by your hair. you looked up, teary eyed again.

“i’m taking the lead, remember? just open your mouth and let me do the work.” you nodded and parted your lips, almost instantly gagging as he forced himself down your throat. you pulled back and coughed while he laughed. “okay, okay, i’ll be gentle. just wanted to see what you’d do.”

you glared at him and he mouthed sorry before tapping the head on your lip. you opened again and he took hold of your hair, guiding you forward. other than the rough start, he was still pretty tender, refusing to let you sink too far. you pulled off.

“matt, please-“

“you got mad about gagging just a second ago. just wanna make sure you don’t choke again,” he smiled. you whimpered as he guided you again, slowly pushing you lower. “you think you can get it all?”

you nod as he slowly pushes you further and further down, grinning as tears welled up in your eyes. eventually, your nose met his naval and you swallowed around him, making him moan. he pulled you off roughly and made you stand.

“go lay down,” he said and pointed. you nodded and went to the bed, laying on your back. he slipped off his shoes before climbing in after you.

“you aren’t gonna get undressed?” you asked. he looked back, confused.

“why would i?” he said as if it was a stupid question. you nodded as he kissed down your neck, slowly slipping off each strap of the bralette.

“i just thought-“

“did i give you permission to talk?”

you shut your mouth and he went back to touching, running his fingers over the lacy fabric of your bralette.

“you know, i thought you’d be better than this,” he studied your face, making sure he didn’t hurt your feelings before saying more. “you can barely follow orders, you always talk.. can’t even listen properly.”

you nodded along, whimpering as he exposed your breasts and let his fingers trail lower as he kissed down towards your nipple. he licked over the bud in the stripe, smiling as you shivered. his hand slid underneath your panties as found your clit, circling it slowly.

“i didn’t think you could get so wet,” he said as he plunged his fingers inside you, making your back arch. “it’s okay, baby. i know you like getting treated like dirt, no need to be ashamed.”

you squirmed as he kissed lower and lower, eventually reaching your hip. he used his free hand to pull down your panties and discard them. he looked up at you. even at a stereotypically submissive position, he still looked just as dominant as before.

“i think it’s cute. getting wet every time i shit talk must be torture. do you think about it often? me treating you like nothing more than a play thing? a pathetic mess i can touch whenever i want.” the words slipped out like nothing as he fingered you, curling them into your g-spot. his kissed moved from your hip to your thigh, biting and licking along the skin.

“matt, please,” you whimper, squirming. he glanced up at you and tilted his head.

“what? you want me to fuck you?” he asked. you nodded.

“i’m not gonna ask you to say it ‘cause your last attempt was a little pathetic. don’t want to set you up for failure, you know?” he chuckled as his mouth made its way to your clit. you gasped as he fucked you with his fingers and flicked his tongue. your hand reached down, grabbing onto his hair. he moaned, causing you to shudder.

he loved eating pussy. if he could list it as a hobby without being weird, he would. from all the practice he got from constantly giving you oral, he became pretty good at making you cum. it got to the point that he was seemingly too good, making you feel close to orgasm within the minute at times.

“i’m gonna cum, please,” you moan. he pulled away as you said it, chuckling as your hips bucks and you whined loudly.

“relax. i’m gonna let you, just not right now,” he said with a cocky smirk. “who knows, maybe we’ll do this a couple more time..”

“no, matt, please. just fuck me already?” you begged. he leaned back on his knees, thinking.

“you’re gonna have to ask a little nicer than that if you want me to listen,” he teased. his thumb circled around your clit, just close enough to feel, but not satisfy. you rolled your eyes.

“can you please have sex with me?” you said sarcastically. you covered your mouth as you said it, freezing up when you felt his hand pull away. your eyes shut, almost scared to see the look on his face. you whimpered as he grabbed your jaw roughly, squeezing.

“you really got an attitude problem, huh?” he nearly growled into your ear. your hands grabbed his wrist, whimpering. “are you gonna knock it off or will i have to teach you a lesson about respect?”

“n-no, sir, i’ll stop.” you looked up at him with teary eyes. you could see the frustration in his eyes from the disrespect. normally, he’d laugh with your jokes, but now he saw it as pure disobedience.

he let go, pushing your head back into the pillow. you rubbed your chin as he pulled away, pumping his cock a few times before lifting your hips and positioning yourself.

“if you cum, i’m gonna punish you. understood?” he said in a low tone. you nodded, not trusting your vocal cords enough to make a proper response. he lined himself up and plunged inside you.

“fuck!” you yelp, arching your back. he held your hips against his, gripping hard as he started attacking your neck again like a wild animal. he was still for a few seconds as you adjusted, but quickly picked up a brutal pace. you almost couldn’t make any noise, all the moans getting stuck in your throat as he fucked you without any regard.

he pulled away from your neck and glanced down, putting a hand against your stomach and chuckling. you whimper as he presses down, feeling himself inside you. you couldn’t pull away if you wanted to, only able to twitch every few seconds as he gripped harder and harder, holding you exactly where he wanted.

“does that feel nice? knowing i’m the only one that can make you feel so good you can’t even speak? what’s your name, baby?” he leaned close, listening, but all that came out were choked moans and whimpers. “that’s what i thought.”

“please, please, i’m so close-“

“i already told you no.”

“just- please, matt.”

“what did you call me?” he asked with a particularly hard thrust for emphasis. you whimper.

“s-sir,” you respond. his chuckle makes your skin tingle as he fucked you, almost like he had this pent up for years. he pressed against your stomach harder, moaning as he felt himself. you cried out.

“fuck, i’m close,” he moaned against your shoulder before biting down. you sob as he does so, squirming under him. you throbbed around him, desperate for release. he knew you couldn’t hold off much longer, but that was the fun of it.

“i’m gonna.. please,” you cried.

“if you hold off until i’m done, i’ll make you cum, promise.” you nod, still whimpering. he bit down harder as his hips started to stutter and he pulled out, cumming all over your pussy and stomach. he moaned as he pumped out the last few ropes.

“matt..” you whine. he lets go of your shoulder, licking over the teeth marks before looking down at the sight. he chuckled and went back down, licking up his own cum as he went down.

“you wanna cum? you think you can beg for it?” he asked as he licked everything up, ignoring your throbbing core.

“i-i can’t. please, i’m so fucking desperate i can’t even think right, fuck,” you confess. he chuckled and licked over your slit, smiling as you shuddered and nearly came just from that.

“you’re a quick learner, huh,” he joked before finger fucking you again and suckling on your clit, his tongue swirling. you sobbed as you clinched around him, your back arching as you moaned louder and louder, heat bubbling in your belly.

“fuck!” you squeal as you came. his fingers curled as he passaged your g-spot, pushing every ounce you had out of you. you sobbed, covering your face as he pulled away, swiping his thumb over your clit. you shuddered and squirmed.

he looked down at you, smiling at his work. you were absolutely wrecked, bite marks littering your shoulders and red dots along your hip from where his fingers dug into you. he slowly ran his hand up and down your thigh as you caught your breath.

“was that mean enough for you?” he asked. you nod, unable to form a proper response. “i wasn’t too rough, was i?”

“nahhh,” you say. he chuckled. “why didn’t you take off your clothes?”

“‘cause i thought it was hot. you being fully exposed but you don’t even get to see me shirtless.” he slid to the edge of the bed, slipping off his slacks and unbuttoning his shirt as he looking through the dresser for something to sleep in.

“it was kinda hot..” you mumble. he chuckled and pulled on a shirt before sitting beside you on the bed.

“you need help getting cleaned up? i don’t think my tongue did too good of a job.”

“yes, please..”

[cocomochicakes]

ASKING NON-BG3 FRIEND WHAT THEY THINK ABOUT THE COMPANIONS

So I asked my friend, who has NEVER played BG3, what they think about the characters based on watching my gameplay and clips from TikTok and this is what they said:

ASTARION

Moody brat, except he’s really sweet sometimes? But still a brat. Very hungry and wants to use Tav as a capri sun. He’s also a chaotic goose. Goostarian.

KARLACH

BEST GIRL BEST GIRL BEST GIRL! Heart of gold (and metal…and fire…) She’s a bimbo Barbarian, what’s not to love???? Also her broken horn is so cool. She’s so punk, I just wanna kiss her so bad.

HALSIN

Big horny bear man. I guess the dick is bigger in bear form??? Can Tav even fit that inside them??? Everybody loves Astarian imitating Halsin “enjoying the freedom of nature’s gifts.” Idk, Halsin scares me for some reason…? Maybe it’s the horndog thing. Horn…bear…?

WYLL

Nobody talks about this guy, so I have no idea who he is. Just your average Joe warlock who just wants a cup of coffee, I guess. I think he’s a monster hunter, though? He and Astarian sass each other.

LAE'ZAEL

Frog lady with a tiny nose. She wants to be dominated by Tav. I used to think she was ugly, but I actually think she’s cool looking in her own way. Makes the silly “CHUHK” sound with her tongue. People ship her with Shadowheart…?

SHADOWHEART

EMO EMO EMO!! She comes across as bratty to me. I saw a little bit of her story, and I think it’s cool that she defied her god, but yeah. Sucks to be abandoned by Mommy.

GALE

I heard somebody say once the boy likes to mansplain, so Gale left a sour taste in my mouth after that. Uhhh people say he’s autistic, too? In my friend’s play through, he had electric boots and was standing in ankle-deep water, and then went on to talk about books or something…? Also he’s the guy you meet in the beginning and you can slap his hand. I think that’s funny. His god groomed him, though, so that’s no good. Um…yeah, I think Gale standing in water with electric boots talking about books kinda sums up his character for me.

MINTHARA

I thought she was the Drow with the tainted blood, but she’s not. To recruit her, you gotta kill kids, and is it worth it? Some might say yes. I say that we lose Karlach for it, so no. It’s cool that she thanks you for not killing her. Gotta be some good angst there. I feel like most people just kill the Tieflings without thinking, so she’s probably a second play through kind of character.

☆☆BONUS☆☆

JAHEIRA

My friend said she’s coded Hispanic, so now I just imagine her making tacos and burritos in camp for the crew. (Is that racist…? Is it racist if I think she scolds people by hitting them with her shoe?) Mom of the camp, as told by my friend. Elder milf mommy elf. She can hit me with her shoe and I’d thank her and put it back on for her, and I hate feet.

MINSC

Burly Barbarian-looking dude with…a hamster…? I admire the ability of BG3 to make a barbarian with a hamster named Boo, and also make him attractive enough that people would want to romance him. Can you romance him? I feel like BG3 is just a dating sim with extra steps, so he’s *gotta* be dateable, right? Idk, I’d recruit him. I wanna pet his hamster.

[itsfuntobeavampiree]

I'm going through a really bad break up right now is it okay if you write slashers comforting reader during breakup? Maybe give some tips to move eon cause it hurts si bad I didn't know someone could feel this hirt

Aw poor you :( hope things get better!<3

Not proof read

Contains: brahms heelshire,OGMichael myers, RZmichael myers, Stu macher, Billy loomis.

Slashers when S/O is going through a breakup

Brahms heelshire

I mean he would try to comfort you but in his head he's so happy because now he can have you too himself! But then his thoughts would be interrupted by your sobbing. 'Poor baby' he thinks

He'll let you cry into his chest while he rubs circles on your back whispering reassuring words. "Shhh it's ok y/n, don't let this break up bring you down"

After like a week and your still sobbing your eyes out in bed and brahms doesn't know what to do because he doesn't know how to care for himself he tries his best to think of an idea to try and make you feel better. He rummages in the kitchen cupboards to make you a nice snack, he goes through the bathrooms to get you tissues and gives you his pillows for extra and his duvet for more comfort. He knocks on your door and waddles in with all the items, you giggle a little before helping him with the stuff. "B-brahms what's all this?" You sniff but he pushes you over to the bed. He lays everything out and lies you down before he himself shuffles in. He hears you cry again and he thinks he failed. "Oh no brahms I'm just crying because this is so sweet" you mumbled as he relaxes and cuddles up to you.

After a week or two you settle down and try to move forward and he's by your side every second of the day. Not much of a change for him though lol.

OG Michael myers

Even though this mans stiff as a board he'll still awkwardly wrap his arms around you.

He'll try his best to reassure you through expressions. As much as he would love to say something he just can't which you understand.

"M-mikey do you think they keft ne because i was clingy!?" You cry into his shoulder, he shakes his head violently and tightens his grip on you.

He tries to distract you after a while by giving you some candy he admits he 'bought' and just sits there when you need a cuddle buddy.

RZ Michael myers

....do...do you want him to kill them for you??? Like what do you want. He just associates everything with murder, if you mention any name even he's asking you if you want the person dead. He's very comforting as you can tell.

He's a bit different to OG, he wouldn't be as tense like if you dive into his arms be sure to be scooped up.

He gives you real stern looks when you start blaming yourself like 'wtf?don't say that!'

Makes you a mask to take your mind off things and it surprisingly helps. After he gives it you become more interested in it and forget what you were crying about.

Stu macher

"Aw damn dude....wanna like watch scary movies or something?" Why was he the first person you thought of telling? Nobody knows but hey if your looking for a good time,HEY! Not sex dipshit, than he's your man.

Would have to er.....go walk his goldfish for a bit so yk....don't look at the news.

"Woah don't worry man! It happens but don't go kicking yourself around about it" he says with a goofy grin while he harshly pats your back like the bro he is.

He would buy a cake mix so you two can just bake and cry cause after all that you'll have something sweet to eat. Think of it as a reward, you let all your problems come crying out and at the end you'll have something edible!

Billy loomis

"Oh really? Who's the dick head who'd breakup with you?" He'd try to playfully flirt but at that moment you'd want nothing to do with love and just angrily stare at him for already hitting on you. He'd scold him self and gives you a well needed hug

"You know...breakups aren't that bad, sometimes they lead into a massive glow up" he'd say proudly thinking he's doing gods work but when you reply with a " Wait you think I need a glow up? Omg maybe that's why they left me I'm so ugly and they were jsut desperate and-" he covers your mouth gently and shakes his head violently realising that between him and stu neither of them and smart when it comes to comforting.

Decides that a nice stroll would clear you mind so he gets you a jacket and shoes and takes you out side. He offers his arm out so you could link arms which you did. Obvs, incase someone you know sees you and you need something to hide you puffed up face.

"Stay here ok?" He says as he walks into a shop and cones out with a slushee just for you and a bag full of goodies for when you get home.

[pinetrees-in-the-water]

hiiii, can you do Tim/masky as a father figure to emo/scene kid teenagers??? C:

Oh my god of course!! This is so wholesome, as an emo myself and former scene kid I approve of the Dad Tim/Masky agenda <3

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

◇Masky/Tim Wright as a father figure to emo/scene teenagers◇

-He never thought of himself as the fatherly type considering all his addictions and his past with the Operator, but he found out that he WANTED to try his best to be a role model after meeting these kids.

-Actively doesn't abuse any substances around the kids as he doesn't wanna normalize it for them.

-He is so supportive. (Even if he can be a little aloof sometimes)

-Tim listens to some emo bands (I think he'd like Good Charlotte and Three Days Grace most) but overall never got super into the style side of the subculture.

-So he's completely facinated when the kids show up with racoon tail hair and gel spikes, hed seen kids back when he was a teenager with the style and is a little amazed kids are still dressing like that.

-If any other kids were bullying his kids he'd scare them, Tim's an intimidating man normally so him appearing behind them or yelling usually does the trick.

-Now if any adults decided to be dicks.....

-He wants to be a good influence and despises what the Operator made him do in the past so nothing TOO bad would happen but they'll certainly get a bit "roughed up".

-Gets the kids old 2000s magazines to go through so they can learn more about what the subculture was like at its peak.

-Tim would absolutely dig up all his old CDs for ANYTHING relevant and play them on car rides. He struggles sometimes when the nightmares or intrusive thoughts hit hard so sometimes a car ride with loud music and singibg teens is just what he needs.

-Road trips and stops by Gas station fast food places are a VERY common occurrence.

-Asks them to do his eyeliner (It becomes a regular occurrence since it hides his bags a bit and he pulls it off VERY well)

-Cannot dye hair, will offer to help if the kids are struggling but its a bad idea.

-Constantly reminds the kids to wear heat protectant when straightening their hair, will even buy them wigs if their hair is getting too damaged.

- "You can't dye your hair green if you have no hair left kid"

-Fucking despises shopping because of the crowds. He's been wearing the same old jackets for forever because "They work".

-Despite this he'll still try and come along for the kids, maybe stand a little suspiciously in a corner of the shop until they're all done.

-Takes the kids out to all the concerts in the area (mostly sneaks them in ngl hes not a bad influence but hes not the best one either)

-Likes how colorful scene clothing can be but does not get all the memes and subculture norms, dude doesn't have a social media.

-"What is XD and :3?"

-Asked if Invader Zim was a rat as a joke, this was followed up with all the kids and Tim binging all the episodes with the kids (he ended up enjoying it).

-The more time he spends with them, unknowingly he starts to see them as his own :)

[gojossugarcandy]

Bad Girls Deserve Punishments, Don't They? | Hanma Shuji x fem!reader | Minors Do NOT Interact | MDNI | NSFW

cw : MDNI, NSFW, mentions of oral sex, submissiveness, explicit words, mentions of cigarettes/smoking, jealousy, male dominative, mentions of forcing reader to use Henma's cigarettes

Just got an idea about Shuji Hanma.

By expanding the post , you have read the warnings stated above and consent to view explicit content.

______________________________________________________________

You didn't even know how you fell in love with this possessive beast everyone calls Shuji Hanma.

And sometimes you hate him for it. Though you come back crawling to him the very next hour

Just Like today, You went out with one of your he-friend. It was a simple reunion between you both, meeting after almost 7-8 years.

But when he found out, not that you were trying to hide it, he was pissed off to no extent.

Thus leading you in a very weird situation.

You remember arguing with him, cussing him and telling him that you would never reveal even a single detail about your friend, knowing fully he was capable of finding the dude's whole life history as easy as scrolling through social media.

Then who knows what happened and you ended up in this situation.

You were on your knees, taking his cock and sucking it like a popsicle.

Him peacefully standing, with his hands in your hair, pulling you towards his cock. Occasionally sending some "All you have to do is tell the name, babygirl" and "You won't get your pleasure if you don't tell about the short-dicked-boy you were with." and many others.

Then you saw him taking his cigarette out and lighting it. You hated it when he used those cigarette. They could lead him to his....you just hated even thinking about these scenarios, but couldn't help yourself.

You were worried sick and tired of telling him to stop or taking and stomping on his cigarettes or taking those boxes and throwing them in the trash.

Just then an idea came in your mind. A bad one.

You stopped deep throating him, removing you head and sealing your lips tight. (Yep, that was your idea)

He looked down at you, one eyebrow raised, taking a puff before asking "Did I allow you to stop?"

You sassily replied "Did I allow you to smoke?"

"Oh, so now you think you are in charge of the situation? Nice joke, now go back to sucking or simply cut this short by telling that dickhead's name"

You moved your head in a no.

Little did you know, how much you were gonna regret this.

He looked at his smoke once before squishing you cheeks between his fingers, puckering them.

He then took the smoke he was holding and pushed it in you mouth.

"Take it babygirl, you definitely don't wanna see me angry"

After you forcefully smoked, he said in a very deep and raspy voice

"Bad Girls Deserve Punishments, don't they?"

______________________________________________________________

I saw this Image and wrote this fic. Imagine the man on his knees is you.

The image credit goes to ezah💧 from twitter

[agaypanic]

Can you make hcs of rory or Benny dating someone who’s gender fluid? 🫶🏻

Benny and Rory Dating Someone Who's Genderfluid Headcanons

Masterlist

Request Something!

A/N: im also genderfluid so this was fun to write lol i hope this doesn’t read too much as an afab reader but if it does, that’s bc im afab and i imagine myself in the story/situation to make writing easier, so sorry if it reads that way!

***

Benny

I think it might take him a minute to fully understand

But no matter what, he’s supportive

Like, number one defender against assholes and haters

Will try to figure out a spell or potion to help with dysphoria

“Abracadabra, you have a dick” “Alacazam, you got titties”

Sometimes, his magic doesn’t work as planned tho

Today was one of those days where nothing really felt right. Whatever you threw on, however you did your hair or makeup, none of it made you feel the way you wanted to feel. It quickly made you irritable.

“You okay, babe?” Benny asked as you paced around in frustration.

“No.” You said a bit meanly. You didn’t mean to sound that way, but you couldn’t help it. “It’s just… Nothing looking right!” You sighed sadly, flopping on your bed and looking at your boyfriend. “But it’s not just the clothes. I… I don’t wanna be in this body right now, you know?”

Benny pursed his lips, wishing he could take your frustration away somehow. The two of you lay in silence for a bit before Benny sat up slightly, having an idea.

“I might know a spell that can help!”

“The last time you said that, you gave me a tail.”

“That was one time!” Benny flopped back down, laughing a little at the memory of you having to go to Grandma Weir with your tail between your legs. Literally. He held your hand, thumb sweeping over the back of it as he looked at you. “One day, I’ll figure it out. Then you’ll never have to feel like this again.” He kissed the back of your hand, making you smile. “I promise.”

Rory

Tbh i kinda headcanon that rory’s genderfluid

At the very least, that dude is not cis

I truly believe that

But ANYWAYS

If you have a more feminine wardrobe but are feeling more masc or androgynous, he lets you take whatever you want from his closet

Just hope that you dont mind nerdy shirts bc that’s the majority of his tops

Always does a pronoun check, even if you’re presenting yourself in a certain way

When you’re at the mall looking at clothes and whatever, you’re mainly looking for things to share

“These jeans look cool.” You mutter, holding the pants up against your body to show Rory, who was going through a rack of shirts. 

“Ooh, what about this shirt?” Rory asked, holding up a blue dinosaur shirt, grin wide and bright.

You held the pants to Rory’s body, trying to imagine him in the outfit. It looked good in your head, so you nodded, and then Rory held the shirt up to you to do the same. He nodded, and you both decided to go to the fitting rooms.

Before you reached it, you got distracted by a rack of accessories.

“Should we get a belt?” You asked, and that was when Rory noticed that you weren’t next to him anymore. He sped back to your side, looking at all the options. “What about this one?” You held up a chain belt, and Rory nodded.

“Yeah!”

“Okay, now let’s go.” You say after grabbing the chain, pulling Rory off to the dressing rooms.

***

Benny Weir Taglist: @batmandallyboy

[bangtanmix73]

Being best friends with Paul Lahote

Warnings: Gn!human!reader, platonic, swearing, dog jokes, slight mention of sex (not with reader), Rachel (Paul’s actual imprint), might make one for each of the pack members, I have more for a whole part 2

Chaos duo.

He’d take you cliff diving, even if you’re scared of heights. If you refuse to, he pick you up and jump with you.

You poke fun at other pack members together.

You jokingly insult each other, none being taken to heart. Of course, if you have boundaries, he wouldn’t cross them. He can be a dick, but he’s respectful <3.

Just randomly texts you “you wanna go raid Jacob’s kitchen?”

You’re friends with Rachel. She was iffy about you at first, but once she realized you and Paul have the ‘everyone thinks you’re a couple, but you’re not’ friendship with no romantic feelings on either sides, she warmed up to you.

Dog jokes.

“You should phase so I can play tug of war with you” “ok, first of all, fuck you..” “or maybe fetch”

Rachel definitely calls you when she doesn’t know what to do with him

He’d talk about his ‘fun nights’ with Rachel and you’d just sit there like “this is the same guy I made slime with 15 minutes ago.”

Coming up with weird nicknames for each other, mainly insulting.

“Wolf boy”, “ratatouille built bitch”, “dense prick”, “bland pork chops”, “godless thot”.

Absolutely goes to a random fast food restaurant at 2am with you.

Can be protective of you if you’re into guys, only because he knows how they think and how the world is :/.

He’s fine with you dating, he’s not your dad, but if they’re toxic? Hell no, he ain’t tolerating it. Break up now.

Don’t even think about going near the Cullens. He doesn’t 1. Want you to get hurt, turned, or killed. 2. He doesn’t want to lose his best friend to one of them.

If you ever go missing, it’s probably his fault. He drags you out of bed at 8am, into the woods, just for his entertainment.

“If I got a cat, would it piss you off?”

When it snows, he drags you out early in the morning with the pack. You go on a drive, not just any drive…someone drives, someone holds the rope, at the end of rope is a sled, and someone’s on that sled.

One word: wrestling.

Now he’s not very rough with you like he is with the others, but that’s only because of his super strength.

Having deep conversation late at night then laughing at whatever was said and making jokes.

If you’re upset, he’s not very good at comfort, but he’s good at listening. Sometimes you’d have to remind him to listen and not go beat someone’s ass.

If you have your period, again he’s not good at comfort, but he’ll buy sweets and drinks at the first sign. He’d throw them like grenades then duck and hide. It’s entertaining to watch really.

Since he imprinted on Rachel, the three of you have spent a lot of time together. Which means, (if you have your period), yours and hers are in sync.

You and Rachel are the only people he’s actually scared of. 

One time you fell while climbing a tree, he won’t admit it, but he was worried about you.

You were doing something you parents told you not to do once and he threatened to snitch on you. It didn’t work well for him, you took off your shoe, throw it at him, he fell and you dragged him outside and left him there.

You get along well with the pack. You’re not fond of Bella because she hit Paul. You can’t lie, you probably would’ve punched her if you were there.

You think Jacob’s fun when he doesn’t go on and on about Bella.

When Paul has time off from patrol, he’d take Rachel and you on dinner dates.

Always together. People ask where’s the other when they’re not there.

“The coffee shop guy asked me where the ‘ripped gang dude’ was because ‘I’m always with you.”

Rachel’s Halloween idea was her as Lilo, you as stitch, and, for her entertainment, Paul as the big sister, Nani.

If you’re shorter than him, he makes fun of you for it all the time.

“Aww does Y/n need help down?” “Hey Rachel, I hope you didn’t want Paul alive.”

Probably has copies of your baby photos for blackmail.

In marko polo, you yell “Paulo” instead of polo.

Two hot best friends

[quinloki]

I had the dumbest thought the other day at work that we should just get those blow up puncher things and these dudes could settle their beef with those

Which me me think like oh, maybe they do something similar on the moby to settle beef

Cause like you’re on a giant pirate ship stuck with the same people all the time, there’s gotta be some peeps you just don’t vibe with. So instead of an all out brawl I was like huh maybe they just have some little fight club or something where they get the chance to just absolutely pound on eachother

Maybe some little cuffs to help keep devil fruit users from using their powers, and no weapons

The visuals give me Yusuke and Chuu fighting in the dark tournament, knives to their feets and just pounding on eachother

And the other crew members get to watch (serves as entertainment too!) and they bet on it and shit

Just imagine joining the moby dick and you’re all the sudden pulled up by someone excitingly going oh it’s fight time! And just being like excuse me

(Be interesting even in the yandere bc you maybe get to see one of the guys ‘keeping’ you fighting and you’re like oh that’s extra scary. Like Thatch just absolutely demolishing some dude with his fists and realizing how soft you’re being treated in comparison)

And it’s not even always beef just sometimes two dudes are like hey bro you wanna bet let’s fight

But the commanders organize it or something bc it’s much easier than dealing with constant animosity and fist fights and honestly in my experience most dudes get along better after just punching it out so yeah

Also hot visuals of two shirtless dudes just totally wailing on eachother

(I enjoyed the yyh moment maybe a little too much)

Sometimes you just need to do something physical to get the irritation out of your system, so I can see it. These are fit guys too, so some No Haki/No DF fist fights aren’t going to do much damage, but there’s still the physical exertion.

And they can just yell at each other too.

Maybe sometimes someone wins the fight but the crew is collectively like “yo, you were the asshole, brother. Apologize.” And in that way you get to see the dynamics and culture of the ship.

Honestly it would explain why no one was sussed about Ace’s way of coping when he came into the crew. It’s a little different, but the situation wasn’t the same either, so it worked out.

I loved that scene in YYH too, it was just so raw. It was also a moment for Keiko and Yusuke too.

I like the idea.

I like the idea that, except for when someone was doing it just for fun, Teach never entered the ring. He never has a “beef” with someone. Everyone gets along with him, who would doubt him?

But also, yeah, seeing Thatch and Ace and Marco fight and realizing how gentle they are with you. You see Izou “fight” once, but this shit just keeps easily dodging until his opponent is tired then lays them out. He never drags anyone into the ring, but he won’t reject someone wanting a word with him.

Few do.

Only Marco’s ever landed a hit, and it took Pops stepping in to end that fight. Not that there’s a grudge or any bad blood, but they’re both monsters and things were dragging on too long.

[youmakemyhearthowl]

Punk Princess

Ao3| Part 1| Part 2| Part 3| Part 4| Part 5 | Part 6| Part 7| Part 8 (Next Part)|Part 9 | Part 10

And just like that, a tradition was born. Every Tuesday night, when Hopper was out working the late shift (because apparently Steve lived with him and El what? ) Eddie would come over to the Hopper-Harrington residence and host DnD nights.

This was quite literally killing Eddie. 

“Gareth, dude you don’t understand, now that he’s more healed up than before he’s started walking around in like tank tops and he has a monster tattooed on his fucking arm. I didn’t think he could get any hotter. And, and he is so fucking soft with his sister El, it’s insane. Like a total mom about her and it’s killing me. Gareth I’m dying, I’m dead, I wanna suck his dick so bad” Jeff groans from somewhere in the back of the garage, setting up a few of the amps.

“Eddie I swear to god, I’m going to kill you if you don’t shut up.” Gareth grumbles, slamming a drum stick down on the symbol for emphasis.

“Yesterday he fucking, just sat in my lap on the throne they have for the game set up, because there wasn’t a chair and it took everything in me not to pop a woody right then and there. Have you seen his ass?”  Eddie couldn’t contain the dreamy sigh he let out as Mack cursed him out from somewhere to the left. 

“Wait, you said he had a tattoo?” Jeff perks up leaning his arms on the amp in front of him. Gareth groans.

“Jeff, don’t encourage his behavior.”

“Jeff my man, he has two tattoos, the one on his arm is this super sick art work of some creature whose mouth opens like a flower and it’s just covered in teeth. Will told me he drew it for him and they call it a Demogorgon even though it looks nothing like the actual one in DnD. And there's one on his hip, although I don’t know what it is cause I only saw a little bit of it peaking out once but it looked like flowers or something.”

“Wait Steve knows DnD?” Mack is the one to speak up this time, and Gareth just bangs his head on the drums in front of him.

“Yes!” Eddie shouts, hopping up off the couch he’s on to pace out some of the energy just thrumming under his skin. “Sometimes when we play, he’ll be with the girls like braiding Max’s hair while El braids Robins and he will just, fucking chime in with his knowledge of something or other that’s happening in the campaign. Dustin gets unreasonably attached to whatever Steve recommends too, even if it might be a poor play.” 

“Huh, maybe you should invite him to Hellfire.” It’s Gareth that speaks up this time, a mischievous glint in his eyes that makes Eddie feel a little nauseous.

“No, absolutely not.”

“Eddie come on, you never shut up about the guy, and this way it’d give you another reason to spend time with him. And we wouldn't have to hear you wax poetic about his ass during a campaign.” Jeff offers out, and actually that’s not a bad idea, even though he can see Gareth and Jeff and Mack exchanging sneaky looks out of the corner of his eyes, he thinks they might actually be on to something, Because if Steve comes to Hellfire, he’ll be on Eddies turf, and maybe for once he’ll have the upper hand and get Steve flustered. 

“Alright, yea I’ll do it. I’m gonna ask Steve to join Hellfire.” He nods his head spinning on his heels and scooping up his guitar. “Are we gonna practice or what?” 

He just barely misses getting hit in the face by the drum stick Gareth sends flying at him.

~

Eddie’s absolutely terrified walking into school Thursday morning. He’s got a whole speech planned out to convince Steve to join Hellfire staying up late to prepare and practice it, but he just knows in his gut he’s gonna fumble the execution. 

Gareth comes saddling up next to him as he makes his way down the hall towards the outside bleachers where they usually spend Hellfire’s free period. He knows Robin and Steve are usually out there as well so the conversation is sneaking up on him fast.

“You gonna ask him?” Gareth whispers in his ear, a shit eating grin spreading across his face.

“Obviously.” He knows you can hear the nerves in his voice and Gareth just throws his head back and laughs.

“Alright, good luck.” He offers before skip stepping over to where the rest of Hellfire is sat, and Eddie takes a deep breath, squaring his shoulders as he turns towards where Steve and Robin are.

He fucking flat lines.

Steve's standing on top of the highest part of the bleachers, his battle vest sitting over his black denim jacket open to reveal the soft pastel blue sweater he has underneath, and his arm is outstretched with a long roll of paper, pretending like its a sword or something as he marches back and forth. His hair is spiked slightly today to make it a cross between a traditional mohawk and the fluffy hawk he usually wears it as, and his eyes are lined in a bright blue liner with gray smoke around them. He notices idly that Steve had pierced his other eyebrow to make up for the one Billy had ripped out, and he’d shaved a little extra in the scar where the old one was so he has a slit in his eyebrow now.

Fuck he can’t do this.

Shit why is Steve so fucking hot.

He can hear Gareth and Jeff cackling off to the right as he just stands there, hands in his pockets open mouth gaping at Steve, but he can’t get his feet to move.

“Oi, Munson.” It’s Robin's voice that brings his brain back online, Her hands waving back and forth over her head. “Come here, I need your opinion on something.” And who is Eddie if not too oblige to that demand. So he takes a deep breath and squares his shoulders and saunters his way over to them.

“Okay so Steve thinks he’d be a barbarian in DnD right? But I’m convinced he’s more of a Cleric. What do you think?”

And isn’t this the perfect opening. The universe shinning down on him for the first time in his life, and he’d be stupid if he didn’t grab this opportunity by the balls and run with it.

“Actually, Stevie, I think you’re more of a Paladin.” Steve stumbles slightly on the bench he’s still marching on, hands shoved deep in his jacket pockets now, Eddie can see a soft blush rising to his cheeks. “Like okay, you know how Paladins have their belief and their oath right? Well your oath is totally the kids, or in this case The Party you’d play with. And you’re damn loyal too so you’d bend over backwards to make sure your party stays as safe as they possibly can no matter the quest.” As he talks he sees Steve's cheeks steadily grow redder and redder, scratching the back of his neck and turning his face bashfully. Hook, line.  

Eddie’s on his own turf now, he’s just gotta see if he can drive it home.

“If you wanna try your hand at it, we are starting a new campaign in Hellfire tonight, and you can join. Robin too.” Robin's face lights up, joy mixed with mischief and he wonders if it’s a good idea to actually have her in the same room as Gareth and Jeff. But Steve's eyes are shining a bit as he ambles down the bleacher bench till he's standing almost nose to nose with Eddie.

“You asking me on a date, Munson?” God fucking damn it, this fuckers smooth . Eddie groans internally, because apparently Steve seems to always have the upper hand, and Eddie can't catch a break. Taking a deep breath, Eddie rolls for charisma and leans a little bit closer to Steve, the tips of their noses brushing.

“See if you can even survive the campaign and maybe I’ll think about taking you to dinner, Princess.” Steve’s eyes grow big and he sucks in a sharp breath through his teeth, nodding his head slightly.

And sinker . Eddie’s got him right where he wants him.

Ao3| Part 1| Part 2| Part 3| Part 4| Part 5 | Part 6| Part 7| Part 8 (Next Part)|  Part 9 | Part 10