#and maybe what they're saying is appalling but that's not what this is about this is about non-appalling stuff

[diodellet]

Top 3 Victims of Getting Whipped by Jamil Viper's Long and Luscious Hair

i wanted to get the gunk from not-writing out before i go back to my pressing wips and i was thinking of how i used to get hit in the face by my friends with long hair…hence these crack hcs. content warnings: -this is crack. this is unserious. (couldn't help myself from hinting at angst. but this entire post is unserious, dw) -unbeta’d, all mistakes are mine. -im okay with this being rb’d and tagged as ship (then in that case this counts as pre-slash if you squint?) word count: 771

3.)  Ace Trappola

Nearly took out his eye, those damn braids.

Okay, maybe he's exaggerating. Just a little bit. Then it’s back to business and completing this Alchemy worksheet early!

(Ace is a bit dramatic in that moment, only if it means that he gets to tick off one of his more put-together upperclassmen)

Maybe that’s on him for trying to put on the eager underclassman act (If only to get Jamil to do the brunt of the work for this joint class)

No, he’s not trying to get on Jamil’s good side. Don’t get it twisted. That guy is unbribable. (So Ace thinks, little does he know he’s going about it the wrong way.)

And while one can say that he’s learned his lesson, it doesn’t stop the occasional accident from happening. 

And, well, it’s just funny to surprise Jamil. Aside from throwing a fake roach onto his gym bag, that gets boring really fast.

(So Ace says, but he likes to milk the 0.5 seconds of concern. He’s a little brother. It’s an easy way to get some attention drama around here.)

2.)  Floyd Leech

Jamil's usually diligent enough to make sure his hair is secured during basketball training. But on a day where Floyd feels like putting in effort…

Well, things get messy. more than the usual amount of chaos that comes with team scrimmages. 

And in Jamil’s quick pivot, one thing leads to another, you know.

More than being hurt, Floyd was: Surprised.

And secondly, he notices: Huh, Jamil's hair smells good.

A normal person would ask what products Jamil uses 

Floyd’s intrusive thoughts, on the other hand, are like, “yo... what if we took a bite though?”

(0.5 seconds elapsed, we are working in bullet time for those last internal thoughts^^)

And it’s very hard to resist a prospect like that when you also throw in the shininess of Jamil's hair ornaments to the mix.

Cue remix of Beansfest: Hounding Jamil Pt. 2 Electric Boogaloo

(On his low energy days, Floyd doesn’t care. On his bad low-energy days, he’ll yank at the offending braid.)

Either way, Jamil already knows to give Floyd a wide berth on default. That’s why he’s relatively low on this list.

Honorable mention to Azul Ashengrotto

Well, it's only happened twice.

But the guy was changed after those incidents. (Epiphany?? Revelation??)

Maybe the first time he got stunned into silence from getting hit was a fluke, but then it happened again.

And once again, total silence.

(Is Azul supposed to feel appalled? Is this blackmail material? How can he spin this into a surefire conversation to rope Jamil into Octavinelle once and for all? *insert bluescreen noises*)

Jamil’s stopped feeling bad about it when the initial embarrassment wears off.

If Azul gets smacked across the face and loses his glasses, that’s on him. Jamil’s speedwalking away from the crime scene, call that plausible deniability.

Unlike certain people on this list, Azul’s conscientious enough to respect Jamil’s physical boundaries

(For the most part. Sometimes Azul gets too into his “Benevolent Housewarden” persona—it’s the untapped Theater Kid Energy in him—that it could happen a third time.)

1.) (Are we even surprised?)

It's Kalim al-Asim!

When they're at class, when they're going to the school store, even at the safety of the dorm.

(Who knew Kalim had the capacity for stealth when he’s not wearing any of his usual jewelry or accessories? Has Jamil been belling him like a cat?)

It has to happen at least once a day, so decrees the law of the universe

Maybe it’s a consequence of Kalim’s lack of personal boundaries.

(Well, after the events of Book 4, I could say something angsty about that but that can be its own post. This is supposed to be a lighthearted crack scenario) 

The worst of it probably had to be during VDC rehearsals. Especially when they were getting the formations down.

Ace has made a tally of each time it has happened, Rook has confirmed the numbers. It cannot be denied any longer, there is Objective Statistical Proof. 

Congratulations, Kalim! Here’s a hastily-made certificate of recognition! (Vil would sermon them for goofing off, but he can indulge in some levity. It’s the night before the performance. It’s better than seeing them nervous.)

Kalim’s confused about the makeshift award, but it’s ok, his default response to 97% of things is good-natured laughter.

Jamil on the other hand is done. He wants to sleep. (But, when you compare it with the stress of their initial rehearsals, this kind of situation doesn’t seem so bad. He’ll never admit that out loud though.)

a/n: anyway happy pride jamil, the guy with the most gender, i wudve wanted to give u a harem but my brain said to torment u at ur expense oops (i've had this wip since april, can u believe? omagah) i wasn't sure how to format a post with multiple characters (oh my god icb this is my first twst post that doesn't feature only jamil 🗿🗿) anyway, i hope this was entertaining a read!💕💕

[maddy-ferguson]

i have never in my life seen a fandom hate fun the way this fandom does. someone will post a headcanon and preface it by saying "i know this would never happen but wouldn't this be so cute" and within 20 minutes someone else will make a post saying "um if you think this could Ever happen you are gravely mistaken. you don't understand anything about the show. how dare you post this on the internet. you should be ashamed of yourself" all because the first person didn't take every "agreed upon" theory into consideration like bro maybe they aren't here for that maybe they just wanna be silly and have fun maybe you should consider shutting up

[snickerdoodlles]

one of my most formative fandom experiences was a comment i had gotten on a fic i wrote for a halloween themed fandom event.

this was for a manga/anime, so the fic was a general ghost story obviously set in Japan. the beginning of it involved a pizza delivery and while writing it, i had spent like 30 minutes just double checking tipping customs and the types of pizza they serve and even fell down a wikipedia rabbit hole looking up the history of pizza in Japan.

now, i just like the research part of writing, i do stuff like this because i have fun doing it. and while i was writing this particular fic, i had laughed at myself for my 30 minutes of googling that amounted to 2.5 offhand lines in a 3500 word fic. i didn't think anyone would care about or even notice those particular details except for me, especially since none of them were relevant to the ghost part of this ghost story.

except, when i had sent this fic to a Japanese friend, the first thing she said to me about it was "OH MY GOD YOU GOT THE PIZZA RIGHT"

and that was the moment when it had really clicked for me. what had just been 30 minutes of effort on my part had become a moment of relief for her. my friend was far more used to reading ethnocentric fic that ranged from unintentional ignorance to outright superiority against part of her culture (the original story's culture no less). and even with the "innocent" ignorance (heavy quotes on that) far outstripping any outright maliciousness, that's still so many people saying her culture was not worth learning about. the pizza in my story was a small detail, but i had cared enough to put in some effort to check it. and for her, coming from a fic experience where her norm was bracing for hundreds of inaccuracies born of ignorance, especially at that time after a flood of stories centered around "Halloween as a cultural holiday in the US" premises instead of the "Halloween is a commercial gimmick in Japan" reality, seeing someone put in some effort even for minor story details meant something to her.

this also throws me back to the discourse that arose in a french show fandom a few years ago because there were a lot of fic authors that wrote 'dollars' instead of 'euros'-- but when people brought this up as a prevalent issue across the fandom but an easy one to fic/watch out for, many of these writers instead pushed back to complain that they were posting stories for free and it wasn't that big of a deal. which really upset a lot of people, but then this upset was met with a new wave of indignation that people needed to 'get over it' because they're writing fic ~just as a hobby~. but, even if 'dollars' instead of 'euros' wasn't a big deal, by digging in their heels about the issue, they were saying "your culture isn't worth even five minutes of my time or effort."

I've been thinking about these things lately because the ethnocentrism in Thai drama fandoms is...staggering. just over the turn of the year, there were waves of Christmas fic for Buddhist characters. and just. Christmas in Thailand is a tourist thing at best. sometimes a pop culture gimmick for international audiences or maybe an offhand high school thing to blow off steam between midterms. it's not a cultural thing. and even if a character is a part of the Christian minority, a Christian Thai's holiday customs and culture are going to be vastly different than a Christian's customs in the Americas or Europe. and while the Christmas fic is at least finished for now, I'm already bracing myself for the Easter fic wave that also seems to pop up for Thai dramas. it's so frustrating to see this sort of cultural overwrite all the time, especially since most Thai drama holiday works aren't about Thai holidays.

but the thing that really got me bristling about all of this again was i saw a post the other day where op said that they weren't going to write [thai drama] fic because they don't know much about thailand.

what an absolutely appalling statement to make.

google is right there. wikipedia is free. you don't even have to leave tumblr or AO3 to learn more because there are Thai natives in fandom who write essays to explain common elements of their culture. hell, even just watching these Thai stories and considering the values and messages imparted by the narrative framework and story lens tells you something about that culture. the audacity to look at a culture different from your own and say "this is not worth my effort or time to learn anything more about," are you kidding me?!?

the messages and values of a story tell you about the writer's values, which are going to carry their cultural values, beliefs, and biases. Thai culture is going to be heavily relevant to any Thai story, even the ones that aren't explicitly about Thai culture/customs/etc. (hell, Thai bl/gl as a genre alone-- just the fact that queer Thai writers are making these stories in Thailand's current political climate is highly political, even the "fluffy" ones that don't seem to make outright political statements.) to approach any story like it was made in a vacuum is to remove the writer(s)' culture and values and to overwrite them with your own.

especially because this is fandom. these are the lowest stakes to learn! it sucks to see people say things like "but i'm scared i'll get something wrong" and hold up that fear as a shield to justify their ignorance. no one's expecting anyone to get every detail right, especially not for a culture that isn't theirs, just make an effort to learn something new about it. pick out something that caught your eye as different to learn more about and see where it leads you.

and for the record--making a mistake trying to broaden your horizons is a far, far better thing to do than to superimpose your culture on everyone else's because you're scared to confront your ignorance.

edit: check out this reblog thanks

[phantomrose96]

I've mentioned this thing in tags before but I've decided fuck it, it should be its own post.

I've seen this sentiment lumped into Eat the Rich posts which goes like "if you're worth more than $1 million I think you should die" and I think tumblr users need to know this is not the Eat the Rich statement they think it is.

Someone being worth $1 million doesn't mean what you think it means.

A 71-year-old widow who bought a single-family 2,000 sqft home in Somerville Massachusetts with her husband 40 years ago to raise their family in, who now lives in this home all alone because her children are grown and her husband is dead, is--without a shadow of a doubt--worth more than $1 million. Maybe even $1.5 or $2 million. And it's because of her home equity, because that's what single family homes go for these days in that area.

The 71-year-old widow may be living pension check to pension check, because her millionaire status can only be dipped into if she's removed from her home and sells it. And if it's the home she's loved for 40 years, where she simply wants to live out the rest of her time peacefully in, I wouldn't put her to the guillotine for that.

Maybe that comes off as an extreme example, like that's just an outlier of the "we hate millionaires" agenda. But I don't think it truly is. I'll scale back and tell you the median U.S. home price right now is about $430,000. And that's just median. Half of them are more expensive than that.

The statement "I think people should be able to afford to buy and own the homes they live in" is, I would desperately hope, not a radical statement to anyone on Tumblr. I think that's a pretty well-received idea. So someone who's done that, who's bought their home and worked many years to pay off the mortgage and now owns it fully, is worth close to half a million dollars on average. Many of them more than that, as many areas rapidly gentrify and drive up housing worth.

Statement 2: "I think people deserve to have a retirement fund which would comfortably support them through end of life." Too radical for anyone? I hope not. And I won't pretend to be an expert on how much retirement money is ideal. I'm sure it varies with cost of living in places. But considering this is money which, ideally, should support someone for the remaining 10-20 years of life (money which may be necessary to cover the absolutely crippling medical costs of end-of-life treatment) I'd bet it's well into the many hundreds of thousands. Even if someone was simply living off $30k/year of take home money and just making that work, then 15 years of retirement, costing $30k/year, plus maybe $50k+ of end-of-life medical costs... That's at least $500k.

Which is all to say, if you show me someone approaching retirement age who's "worth" $1 million dollars, my hope would be that their house is paid off and their retirement fund is comfortable. I'd be happy for them. I would want this for them.

Even that may not be true, though. Someone "worth" $1 million maybe owns a paid-off house which has rapidly appreciated to being worth $900k, and their $100k in retirement is something they're trying to stretch through end of life. Maybe someone worth $1 million owns a house which has ballooned to $1.1 million, and they're in fact $100k in debt.

And the fact that SO many Americans will never even meet this bar is significantly more appalling to me than the existence of people worth more than $1 million. "I own my home and can retire comfortably" is a bar we want every American to meet. I want more millionaires who are millionaires because they meet these criteria.

If Nana Somerville's house burns down tomorrow, she'll have lost everything. If a billionaire were to similarly lose $1 million of worth, he would not feel it. That's a fickle day at the stock market. That's Tuesday. That's the rich which desperately needs to be eaten.

[shadowbriar]

Regulus Black ‐ Jasmine, Lavender, and Poppy

Pairing : Regulus Black x (she/her) Reader Word Count : 0.6k Warning : Nothing, just pure fluff. Synopsis : Regulus made sure that she would never forget his scent ever again. Notes : My first blurb. Should I make more of these? If you like this story and would like to support me, please visit my kofi page and perhaps get me a coffee?☕  

She remembers his scent well. That very special smell of oud and leather, something that portrays luxury and obscurity. Something that feels like home. Something that screams him— Regulus Arcturus Black.

But poking on Regulus has always been one of her most favourite things to do. Even before they were romantic, teasing him has always been second nature for her. His reactions have always brought her bliss. Their harmless banter is what fuels their day and it feels like the perfect time for her to pull the first taunt of the day.

"I don't smell you from the Amortentia," She lied, teasing her boyfriend whose brows are now pinched high from the offensive words she spilled "I smelled cinnamon, wet grass, and linen."

"Bullshit, I smelled you. There's no way you smelled someone else."

Shs shrugs, closing her textbook that hasn't been read ever since they entered the library, "Maybe you smelled wrong."

"I'm never wrong about these kinds of things."

"Yeah?" She challenges, propping her chin in the palm of her hand "What did you smell?"

"I smelled jasmine, lavender, and poppy."

"That doesn't smell like me. You're just listing random flowers."

Regulus raised an eyebrow, "Your perfume's base is jasmine. You drop a few lavender oil to your seal wax on all of our letters. Your garden is filled with poppies. You are jasmine, lavender, and poppy."

A smile blooms on her face. It was one thing to be satisfied by teasing your boyfriend and another to have him spelling the little details of you. Regulus has always been the observant party of the two, she just never realised how much of her he's taking notes of.

"Also, Love, your house is always decorated with those three flowers on every corner. You are what I smelled from Amortentia. You are my soulmate."

"Well, no one said Amortentia smells like your soulmate. They say it smells like someone you're attracted to so maybe that's why." She continues her scheme, concealing her blooming heart "Maybe I'm attracted to someone else now."

Regulus' brows rose higher, looking even more appalled at her words, "Are you being serious right now?"

She shrugs.

Regulus stood from his seat. Perhaps teasing him in the library when they're the last people there wasn't such a brilliant idea. Merlin knows what he might do now. Regulus might be a calm and collected person but wrong poke and you'll wake the fury inside him.

She started to inch away, pushing her seat back until it hit the wall, giving her no other space to escape. Regulus kneeled down, levelling to her eye level and eyes her deeply. His brows were still knitted in displease but his eyes were soft. Her plan to keep an aloof expression has evidently failed as a playful smile cracks on her lips, anticipating for his next move whilst praying that he wasn't genuinely angry.

"You're a menace." He says before kissing her.

Regulus pulled her chair closer, locking her in place as he put his hands on her sides. It wasn't like she's planning to leave, anyway. No one in their right mind would want to go when they're being kissed by him, especially with such an intimate and asserting position.

One hell of a man, Regulus is.

A victorious smile was plastered on her face when they pulled away. It was a short kiss. Just enough for him to prove to her just how wrong she is about the scents she's attracted to. Regulus knew that she was lying, that she was just trying to get his reaction, yet he complied with her charade anyway.

Regulus now stands from his position. He took off his robe, tossing it carelessly to the seat he occupied a couple minutes ago. He then takes off his jumper, making her cheeks burn from the sight. He surely knows how to keep her around.

"The library might not give you the best privacy if you're planning to go nude, Love." She comments.

Regulus rolls his eyes, handing her his jumper, "Wear it."

"Why?"

"So you won't ever forget my scent again."

[mangostarjam]

silent reading time — kaiju no. 8, hoshina soshiro x reader, use of foods as nicknames, childhood best friends dynamic, biting, 1.4k words

Hoshina Soshiro is staring at your thighs.

... you think.

It's hard to tell, since you aren't looking at him. Quick, fleeting glances out of the corner of your eye aren't enough to discern the true aim of his line of sight, but it really kinda looks like... he's looking at your thighs.

Why, though?

It's just a typical weekday night. You dropped by his room the way you have for the past twenty-odd years, holding a paperback book with a purple pen tucked behind your ear, ready to indulge in your favorite pastime of silent reading in your best friend's company. Soshiro has his own paperback in hand, green pen spinning around his fingers. The two of you jot little notes as you read, and once you finish you swap books. Later, you'll go to one of your favorite cafes together to talk about them. Soshiro's neat scrawl is as familiar to you as the back of your own hand.

For a brief moment you debate calling him out on his staring. But — nah, it's probably nothing. Maybe your pajama shorts are a little worn and he's just appalled you're wearing something so flimsy.

"What's up, beansprout?"

You glance up from the words you haven't been reading and meet your best friend's gaze. "Huh?"

Soshiro closes his book but keeps his finger tucked to hold his place. His green pen spins in a blur. "You've been starin' at that page for ages. You sleepy or somethin'?"

"Nooo..." you draw out the word as you think of something to say. "Just wondering if I should get new pajamas."

Well — you didn't call him a creep, but now he's blatantly staring at your thighs and maybe this is... worse? You can feel a flush rising up your body at his scrutiny.

"What's wrong with these?"

"... Nothing?"

Soshiro gives you a doubtful look and before you have a chance to retreat, he's caught you against the bed, pinning you down with his elbows on either side of your shoulders. Your books and pens go flying across the mattress, landing with a thunk and a clatter as the room settles back to stillness. The sudden proximity of him looming above you takes your breath away. You squirm a little at the abrupt weight. Soshiro chuckles, his breath warm by your ear as his legs press yours into the mattress.

"Tell me, egg tart."

He's close enough that the strands of his purple hair tickle your forehead. You know you have no chance of getting away from the Vice Captain of the Third Division in close quarters, but you wiggle half-heartedly anyway. "Get off of me, you big oaf!"

"Oh? That's not very nice," Soshiro's grin is playful. He eyes you for a second, and then he pouts. "I just wanna know what's runnin' through that pretty lil head."

Well that's just unfair. He knows you're weak to him when he makes that face. You scrunch your nose at him and giggle when he mimics you. He's steady, hovering above you, as if it's nothing for him to basically hold a modified plank pose on the soft surface of his mattress. Something about that makes you feel... a little warm.

But he's your best friend. You've known him since you were toddlers, training in swordsmanship together at the Hoshina estate, following him into the Defense Force until you hit a wall and pivoted to research instead — you know Hoshina Soshiro, and he does not make you feel warm like this.

You gather your wits about you slowly, like your braincells are moving through molasses. Soshiro seems content to hold his position, familiar grin still firmly in place. You can feel the warmth radiating from him, the careful way he keeps from squishing you entirely, even though he's stopping you from running away from the question.

"It's really nothing, promise," you say, "I just thought maybe you kept looking at my pajamas because they're so old."

There's a moment of silence as Soshiro digests this. You listen to him breathing above you, the thick fabric of his sweats warm where his legs press into your bare skin, the overhead light haloing his purple strands and casting his carefully blank expression in a faint shadow.

"Dontcha think you're a lil too comfy 'round me?" His voice comes out low, almost missed beneath the sound of your rapidly accelerating heartbeat. "I'm a man, too, y'know."

You blink. Soshiro's now wearing the vaguely amused smile he always seems to have on when you're around, but there's something lingering along the edges that sends a shiver up your spine.

Forget molasses. Your brain shuts down entirely, bluescreening as you frantically try to reconcile his words and his meaning and why is he looking at you like that? Like he wants to — to eat you, to swallow you whole — and why does he keep glancing at your lips? Do you have something between your teeth?

But, no, wait — Soshiro is a man. You know this. You've known this for ages. It's impossible to train with the strongest close quarters combatant in the entire Defense Force and not realize this simple fact. You've seen Soshiro take down more miniature and mid-sized kaiju than you can count, and he's a brilliant leader of his platoon and division. Everyone respects him and works hard to live up to his expectations, though you know he works three times as hard in the shadows.

Your childhood friend is certainly not a child any longer. One glance at the densely packed muscle on Soshiro's body is enough proof of that. You peek at his biceps tensing as he shifts above you and gulp.

Yeah, he's definitely a man.

But what does that have to do with anything...?

"Of course I'm comfy with you, Soshiro-kun," you say. Why does your voice sound like that? All... breathy and soft? You clear your throat and try to inject some normalcy in your tone. "You're my best friend! You'd tell me if my pajamas are too worn out, right?"

Soshiro just looks at you blankly. This is where he's supposed to crack a joke, this is where he flicks your forehead and calls you 'sugarplum' and rolls off of you, this is not where he suddenly leans down close enough that you can feel his breaths puff against your ear before everything narrows down to the singular point on your neck where he bites you.

"S-Soshiro-kun, what the hell?!"

"What's wrong? We're best friends, ain't we?"

"Yeah, but why'd you bite me?"

Soshiro's laugh is pressed into your neck like honey dripping from the comb. He's not... He hasn't moved away. You haven't moved away.

You could. He's left you room to move.

But you don't.

It's warm. His legs are still pressing against yours. The faintly woodsy smell of him is all around you, seeping into your skin as you shift amidst his blankets. "No reason," he says airily, lips brushing your temple as he brings himself to hover above you again. "Just takin' advantage of my best friend privileges."

"By... biting me?"

"By showin' ya I'm comfy 'round you, too."

The tension pops. You can't help but laugh, something like relief and the bittersweet tinge of regret flushing through your bloodstream. "What are you, an animal? Who the heck bites people and calls it comfortable?"

"Are ya uncomfy?"

"Well, no, but—"

"I've always wanted to bite you," Soshiro says. You can read the truth in the curve of his smile as his purple strands waver above you. "Ya look like you'd taste good, chestnut."

"That's it," you wrinkle your nose at him. "You've gotta come up with other nicknames for me, or else you'll keep thinking of me as food!"

Soshiro hums in thought. You can feel the sting and the faint imprint of teeth along the sensitive skin of your neck. Something about it makes you feel fuzzy inside, like a tv antenna struggling to search for a signal. You shift anxiously as the silence stretches, yearning for something unknown.

"No can do," he says brightly. His red eyes gleam as he leans down again. "But we're comfy with each other, yeah? Want me to inspect these old pjs for ya?"

The blush blooms beneath your skin with a force that startles you. "Uh, what—? No, Soshiro-kun, definitely not—"

He grins and it's bright, but a little strained. You reach up unthinkingly to cup his face in your hands, smoothing your thumbs along his jawline and cheekbones and smiling when he leans into the touch. The knot in your chest loosens. The two of you bask in the comfort of each other for a moment.

"You should really tell me off," he breathes, tilting his head. "You should tell me ta quit messin' around."

"Are you messing around?" you ask.

Soshiro laughs, a quiet sound in the stillness of the room. "I'm never messin' around when it comes to you."

[verysium]

how bllk boys would react when u draw them, could either be rlly good or rlly SHIT u choose idk (plz include barou and the itoshi bros) 😊😊😊 i love you and ur works, and the way u write the boys and ur content makes me laugh fr, one of my fave bllk authors mwjahaja 😓 have a great day, ily:3 and the icks post made me smile like all of ur posts do!

thank you so much anon ♡ this ask had me contemplating very seriously, so apologies if it's a bit late:

sae is definitely awestruck in some way, even if he doesn't immediately show it. i think i talked about this in a previous headcanon, but he has a deep-seated admiration for artists who can grasp abstract concepts because he himself cannot. he would be somewhat flattered if you drew him since he's never considered his own appearance to be particularly inspiring. would be appalled if you considered him your muse. like....why? to him, his looks aren't anything of importance (clearly he is blind.) would probably say your drawing was inaccurate but then hang it up by his nightstand so he can look at it every night before he goes to sleep. if you're a full-time artist, he probably keeps a little stash of your gifts in a small box beneath his bed. sometimes if he's having a bad day or he lost a game, he goes back and flips through them just to make himself feel better. secretly loves the way you draw his bangs and the little swoop you do in your signature.

kaiser corrects every single detail in your drawing. stands behind you and gives you little pointers here and there. he should have an 8-pack, not a 6-pack. his jawline isn't sharp enough in your initial sketch. poses shirtless in front of you so that way you can encapsulate the full extent of his sexiness. shows off your drawing to every living creature in existence. "isn't he handsome?" like...🙄 yeah, michael we know. he's probably the hardest to draw because of his tattoo, so i think he genuinely appreciates it when you put in the effort to capture his intricacies. will never admit this but he's low-key proud of you and your talent (mostly just your ability to make him look good.)

rin is one of those people who doesn't understand hyperrealism. like why does he need a highly detailed sketch of his face when he can just take a photo and print it out? i don't think he understands art in general. probably despises modern art too. he'd take one look at a rothko painting and be like....i could draw this too...in my sleep. similar to sae, i feel like he's just numb to the sentimentality of gift-giving. doesn't understand why you would waste your time drawing a little picture of him, but it does make his heart feel strangely fuzzier, so maybe he'll keep it this one time. lo and behold, months later he now has a collection of your drawings he doesn't have the heart to throw away. refuses to let isagi or anyone see them because they're meant for his eyes only.

yukimiya has impeccable taste. in fact, he's probably an artist himself. i think it'd be cute if you both drew little sketches of each other throughout the course of your relationship. but neither of you ever knew until you gifted him your sketchbook for christmas, and he was like....guess what...i drew you too. thinks you're pretty even when you don't think so. sometimes when you're having a coffee shop date, he scribbles a portrait of you on his napkin because the sunlight hit your cheek just right in that moment, and the birds were chirping, and he fell in love all over again. i think it's also tragic that he's slowly losing his eyesight, so he won't be able to enjoy your drawings and the vibrant colors you infuse into them. that's why he treasures them even more. probably thumbs over the pages from time to time. memorizes every stroke and line.

isagi likes the way you always draw that little tuft of hair that sticks up on the top of his head. it looks like a cute little bean sprout. he pins your drawings up above his bed next to a polaroid of you two in germany. buys you a professional art set for your birthday. if you're a digital artist, he buys you a new tablet and stylus.

bachira adds his own doodles next to yours except he makes a chibi version of everything. always pesters you to include his little fangs. uses the boldest combination of colors. he would definitely be a messy artist. paint everywhere. fingernails perpetually stained a different color. you both draw during class, so when you two trade notebooks to actually study......there aren't any actual notes.

barou acts like he doesn't know what to do with your drawing of him but then the next day you visit his house, and he's already put your artwork in a fancy picture frame. refuses to let anyone else even stand within a ten meter radius next to it because he doesn't want their "nasty fingerprints" all over your beautiful masterpiece.

[beaniegaebie]

i don't really have any solid conclusions about this yet but i noticed A Thing in a rewatch and i haven't found it mentioned elsewhere yet so here we go

(apologies for the appalling image quality you're about to see, i can't screenshot easily rn pls bear with)

OKAY so in the scene where crowley confronts gabriel about "shut up and die", something about the arrangement of book stacks caught my eye a little

the majority of the books are angled so that we mostly just see the page edges and not the spines clearly, EXCEPT for a particularly shiny and familiar colour combo right here-

but nothing too weird going on there, i thought, crowley coloured books in a bookshop so what? right up until i registered crowley's line when we get a closer look-

hhhhmmmmMMmmmm yes yes "everything just the way you wanted" huh, very interesting considering that we know how much thought goes into props huh

and for most of the shots we get of crowley in this position those freaking books are just quietly nestled right there in the corner-

look at that god damn framing i fuckin see you, you glorious bastards

so i paused to see if i could figure out what the hell was up with those fuckers and this is when i absolutely lost my mind, your honour

A and C you say?? in crowley colours???? framed like this?????? localised entirely within your kitchen???

anyway long story short they're two books from an Agatha Christie Crime Collection set (24 volumes, three stories per volume) and guess whats on the mfing front covers I'm-

(its a rant for another post but when paired with this other set of initials spotted in s2 i want to scream actually)

ANYWAY back to the books, through an absolutely unhinged comparison of the formatting of gold text blobs i reckon the two we have here are:

(on top) The Pale Horse; The Big Four, The Secret Adversary

(on bottom) 4:50 From Paddington, Lord Edgeware Dies, Murder in Mesopotamia

(I'm fairly confident but if anyone has a better image to confirm/correct this pls do)

now here is where I'll need a bunch of help from some Christie-heads out there bc I haven't read any of these and I've only seen the tv adaptation of one of them, so i dont know for sure if these are like A Clue, or A Cool Thing, or if I've just fully brainrotted myself into a fun lil corner here? wa-hoo

but here's some initial stuff that jumped out at me after skimming the basics:

(some of) the titles: Pale Horse/Big Four - death's horse ofc, the four horsemen mayb? the them+adam?? ; Mesopotamia is a very biblical choice bbz ; 4:50 From Paddington- azi likes trains i guess? idk that one's tenuous lmao ; honestly no idea with the other two but Secret Adversary feels a tad ominous

iirc Big Four just has kind of an unusual history, it was initially twelve short stories that she later compiled into one, and it was published fairly soon after christie's mysterious disappearance/reappearance

in Big Four, poirot fakes his death at one point and doesnt even let hastings in on it and I'm hoping sure its totally irrelevant to the ineffable bois

part of the Pale Horse story is a group of assassins that basically try to pass off all their murders as being actually caused by like ✨satanic powers✨ which is interesting

christie knew a fUCkton about poisonings thats why she wrote so many into her work and, while i don't believe the poison coffee theory myself, it sure is an interesting link with how cyanide is associated with almond smell/flavour and that metatron chooses almond syrup in particular

(ALSO random side note that is mostly meaningless but I've worked in a good few uk coffee shops and have never worked anywhere that stocks almond syrup; almond milk yes, hazelnut syrup yes, but never almond syrup...? prob just the places i worked though lmao)

EDIT forgotten point: I've seen some speculation that the bently's plate reading "CURTAIN" could be a reference to poirot's last story, along side that alternate scene of crowley ordering the sherry for "miss marple", its just one too many agatha christie references for my melted brain to handle and I'm SUS

so this is where i run out of idea steam and hand it over to you lot because i have no clue what this could mean, if it even means anything other than a cool set feature

is there something here actually or am i yelling into the void just for fun?

who knows, who cares!

[muddyorbsblr]

timeless

See my full list of works here!

Summary: While doing some research to help out Mobius on a 'moonshot project', you and Loki come across a startling revelation about your lives. All your lives.

Pairing: TVA!Loki x TVA!Reader

Word Count: 3.5

Warnings: some talks of smutty times, but overall this is just fluff [let me know if i missed something!]

Things to be aware of: established relationship, talks of soulmates, references to my other stories

"I really don't get why you're in here bugging me for something to do, Y/N," Agent Mobius chuckled, shaking his head as he thumbed through another folder's worth of records that he hadn't told you quite yet what they were for. "No high-level variant threats have been reported, timelines are--well, they're relatively stable. Things are quiet for a change. I say enjoy it while it lasts and go on a vacation or something with Laufeyson. Just don't--"

"Don't cause any Nexus events, yes yes, Mobius, we know." A smile broke out on your face at the sound of Loki's voice cutting off the TVA Agent, your cheeks nearly aching from your grin widening when he walked up behind you and long arms wrapped around your waist, pulling you close. "Thing is we already have partaken in quite a handful of adventures across the timelines, indulging ourselves in the…numerous pleasures and luxuries that they have to offer."

One look at how you were reddening with the implications of your boyfriend's words had your fellow Agent scrunching up his face in feigned appalment. "Time and place, you two, jeez."

You and Loki shared a confused look when an analyst from another table yelled "And you did it at my birthday dinner!" and rendered Mobius into a cackling heap, laughing into his sleeve to muffle the sound.

"Anyway…" you spoke up, making the grey-haired agent look back up at you. "Are you sure there isn't anything we can help with? Doesn't even have to be high-level, I'll literally take up a timeline reset caused by a woman at a grocery store grabbing a can of peaches instead of a can of mangoes, I'm getting antsy here."

"Alright alright fine," he sighed, motioning toward you and the god behind you. "It's something of a moonshot but we've been trying to find proof of the existence of soulmates throughout the timelines, so we need concrete cases that no matter the circumstance, no matter the obstructions between two souls, they always find each other and they always end up together."

"You mean like in that TV show where they've got fairytale characters in like Maine or something and there's this couple that constantly goes--"

"I'll find you, I will always find you," you and Mobius said at once, causing you both to break out into laughter.

"Exactly like that," he confirmed when he calmed down some. "Preferably without the cheesy catchphrase because in case you do find one I would actually prefer to not include in my report that all soulmates have some line they tell each other that's so cheesy it's pungent."

"Right so…soulmates, no cheesy lines, across the timelines. Got it." You gave him a little salute before you went off to the shelves, holding Loki's hand as he followed a few steps behind you.

"Darling we have been scouring through files for hours. Perhaps it's time to report back to Mobius. Tell him that every pair we've found so far have broken the pattern at some iteration down the line. The most we've come across is a pair that were together for five iterations of their lives before the sixth showed they never even met in that lifetime."

Your shoulders slumped over when you placed your latest folder on your pile, of failed attempts, just about  half the size of Loki's own little mountain of case files. Maybe he was right; every possible lead you'd found all ended up a dud, and that alone would be proof enough that this was all a wild goose chase of an assignment for Mobius.

Then again, he did call it a moonshot, so the realization didn't smart too much.

The frustration you felt began to melt away the moment Loki's hands touched your shoulders, leaning into him when he started working at the knots that he found with expert precision. "Okay, you're right," you sighed. "Let's go tell Cubey his moonshot's a single needle in a city of haystacks."

He placed a kiss to the top of your head, using his seiðr to stack the case files into neat stacks arranged by file number. "Thank the Norns that ridiculous magic dampener fractured some when the timelines diverged," he mumbled, chuckling into your hair. "Now how about I bring us to a nice hot spring and we could simply…enjoy one another's company?" You let out a giggle when his hands traveled down your sides, lightly grasping your waist and pulling you against him.

If only you could have silenced the little voice in your head when you were just seconds away from him whisking you off to Jökulsárlón or Hakone, clad in a dark emerald bikini that your lover would peel off of you as he made good on his promise for you both to enjoy each other's company.

"I can nearly hear the thoughts forming in your mind, darling," he cooed, pressing his lips to the back of your neck, chuckling against your skin when you wordlessly confirmed what he'd said by slumping over again. "What is it?"

"Just one last try?" You wouldn't ever let yourself live it down if you'd gone down this road and not looked at this particular set of files.

He let out a sigh, his slightly cool breath tickling your skin before pressing a tender kiss to the back of your head. "One last attempt. And if we reach another dead end--"

"You can whisk me away to any destination of your choice and have your wicked way with me," you finished for him, letting out a little yelp when he brought his lips to the spot between your neck and shoulder, playfully nipping at the skin.

"What a deliciously reckless promise, my love," he teased, smirking against your neck when he proceeded to lightly suck at the sensitive skin and you had to bite your lip to muffle the whimper that slipped through your lips. "I look forward to collecting on it in a short while."

He rested his chin on your shoulder, still holding you close when you called out for a bit of assistance on your final hunch. "Minutes?"

Your eyes squinted to adjust to the sudden brightness when the orange hologram appeared on the desk in front of you. "Well hello there, lovebirds. What can I do for y'all?" she asked with a small wave of her cartoonish stick arm.

"Could you pull up our files?"

"Well sure I can, Y/N! How much of your files are we talking here?"

You shared a look with Loki before you answered, "All of them?"

"Before I hand 'em over, I think it's best y'all know from the get go that you're about to deal with thousands of files. It'll take a whole lotta time before you can sort 'em all out," she cautioned you both, already giving you a digital visual of how many files she'd already begun to pull up.

"Minutes, as I've come to understand it, we variants apparently have all the time in the world," you countered, shrugging your free shoulder and giving the living hologram a little smile. "We can take it."

"Alright well suit yourself," she comically shrugged both her hands before making the files that were already on the table disperse and go back to their original locations throughout the library shelves before stacks upon stacks of folders materialized in their place. All of them sectioned off into two sides. "Have at it, y'all."

You picked up the first folder from the stack closest to you, your brows knitting together already once you read the name on the file. "Minutes, I don't think this is mine, it says Eve but that's not--"

"Your name?" she finished for you. "Darlin', Y/N is your name in this lifetime--Well, the lifetime you came from before your Nexus event, you get what I mean. The file you're holding is from another lifetime, heck, might even be from another timeline. But one look at that file and you'll see that that's you. All of these are you. Doesn't matter if you're goin' by a different name, the soul remains the same."

The air left your lungs when you opened the folder to find a picture of you with pale skin and matted ivory hair on the front of the file. Only thing was that this version of you wasn't quite human in her lifetime. In fact centuries of it were spent as a vampire.

A few moments later she spoke up again. "Well then that's my cue. Happy sortin', y'all!" And then she disappeared. Leaving you and Loki alone with your couple thousand files each to rifle through.

Had you been there on a different objective, you would have spent a bit more time thumbing through the pages that detailed the life of this version of you, rubbing elbows with numerous prominent figures throughout history and having her fair share of trysts with a handful of them. But your only focus was her most prominent affair. Her great love.

When you reached that page, you felt yourself go breathless once again looking at the picture that stared back at you. "Loki," you breathed out, holding out the file to him so he could see for himself. The god's eyes widened at the photo in front of him. The ebony hair may be matted and the skin somehow even paler than his usual complexion, but there was no denying it. This Eve's companion throughout her years, this Adam, was another lifetime's iteration of Loki.

He began to rifle through his own stacks of folders, finding the one that had the same variant number and interlocked his and your folders together, starting a new stack at the center of the desk. "If you're right, and this yields the moonshot result that Mobius has been searching for, you can pick the destination and have your wicked way with me."

"Why Mischief, how reckless of you," you said coyly, batting your eyelashes at him. "What if I wanna tie you up?"

"It's endearing that you believe you could, my darling." He lightly poked your side, quickly pulling you into his arms the second you started wriggling and giggling in his direction. "But if that is truly what you want then I can promise not to break out for an hour."

"Two," you countered.

"Ninety minutes."

"Deal."

"Now if I'm right and this leads to another dead end, I whisk you away to any destination of my choosing for a fortnight, no tempads, no missions, and not a stitch of clothing on this glorious form of yours." His lips skimmed the side of your face, pressing a kiss to your cheek when you let out a squeal at his finger deftly undoing the top button of your shirt. "Do we have a deal, my love?"

"Okay okay," you relented, turning your head to steal a quick kiss before bring your attention back to the folders you were about to sort through. Before you could pull away, his free hand went up to the back of your head and deepened the kiss.

"What if I told you I've been plagued with visions of stripping you bare and laying you out on the desk before me? That I'd been thinking of enjoying every delectable inch of you as if you were my own personal dessert board?" You let out a gasp at the lustful image his words had conjured in your mind, allowing him to easily lick into your mouth and turn you into putty in his arms the moment your tongues met.

"I'd say I'm not surprised," you breathed out when he pulled away, placing your hand over his before he could undo a third button from your shirt. "But the faster we get this done, the faster oneof us will be at the other's mercy and maybe you can even bring that desk fantasy of yours to life." You pressed another quick peck to his lips before managing to wriggle your way out of his embrace, jutting your chin at his side of the desk. "Pick a file, Mischief."

The next file had you and him initially on opposite sides of the Battle of New York, your story starting in Stuttgart when he had clones force you down on your knees and the injuries from that encounter permanently damaging you. A handful of times throughout the day of the actual battle, he went out of his way to save your life, ensuring your safety from a fatal fall and even the Hulk; the document even had a mention of him asking Thor of what came of you after he was apprehended because you weren't among the Avengers that saw him off to Asgard, only to find out the true extent of your injuries. Then he found himself back on Earth to serve his sentence and falling in love with you, using his magic to undo the physical damage that he dealt you. And then you two went on your own adventure to have 'do-overs' in places that held bitter memories for him, from Stuttgart to Asgard and even the balcony in Stark Tower.

Another file saw Loki as an English baronet named Thomas Sharpe, and you as his final wife and a sort of partner in crime. Initially you teamed up to play a dangerous game of sneaking around his ancestral home to gather and send out evidence that would put his incestuous and murderous sister Lucille behind bars, and somewhere along the way you two had genuinely fallen in love with one another.

You then found a good handful of scenarios where you both lived in the Avengers Compound, having a bad case of mutual pining and both of you being too hesitant and overcome with doubt that neither of you made a move until the situation practically forced you to confess. One even involved you photographing him for an Avengers calendar where he stripped for you during his session.

"Yeah, this definitely sounds like you," you joked when you showed him one of the pictures from the photoshoot in question where he laid on his side on a white bed wearing nothing but a pair of white boxers. When you opened the next file, you let out a whiny groan out of sheer frustration and disappointment.

"Darling, that is a sound I only wish to hear when I elicit it from you. What's wrong?"

"Might as well just lie down on the table right now because there's no way this isn't a dead end." You waved the file in your hand in the air.

"Much as I would thoroughly enjoy claiming this particular prize, perhaps we need not be so hasty, my love. Tell me what would be such a hindrance that you'd be ready to give up your theory--"

"Place of Birth: Asgard," you read out, cutting him off. "Born to Lady Sif of the Warriors Four--"

"Alright well Sif would surely have some choice words with me if I courted you but--"

"And the Crown Prince Thor, God of Thunder." You gave him a look as if to say "This is why", the realization dawning on him as well that yes, this would be the dead end that would grant him his victory. And yet for some reason, you decided to keep on turning the pages. "Gotta be honest, though, I thought that what would break our streak is if we never met in these--Oh what in the Game of Thrones Targaryen nonsense is this??"

"What is it?"

"The streak isn't broken yet," you croaked out, the disbelief entering his eyes as he frantically started searching for his corresponding variant file. "We were married for two and a half thousand years."

"I surrendered my claim to the throne of Asgard for you," he declared in astonishment. "We have children in this timeline." His voice began to hitch at the end, making you immediately close the distance between you to lace your fingers together.

"Looks like even something as monumental as being your brother's daughter couldn't stop us," you noted with a little smile, breaking out into a full grin when your comment made Loki exhaled in a rather loud chuckle that traveled across the library. You took your two folders and interlocked them, adding to the pile in the center. "Let's keep going."

It was several hours later that you two had finally found your way back to the desk that Mobius occupied, the more tenured agent pinching the bridge of his nose and rubbing at the inner corners of his eyes in clear frustration.

"You still got nothing, Cubey?"

"One of these days I'm gonna find a name for you that's just as annoying, Y/L/N, just you wait," he groaned, his posture visibly slumping when he saw the interlocked stacks of folders that you were carting around. "What in the name of the Alioth is that?"

"We found one," you proudly stated. "Proof that soulmates exist and…only some of them have a catchphrase."

"That's just one?!" he boomed, immediately getting shh'd by a more elderly analyst a few tables behind him to which you and Loki shh'd her right back without missing a beat. You nodded your answer to Mobius. "So what's the catchphrase?"

"I was made to be yours," you began, letting go of the cart to hold your hand out to Loki.

"And I yours," he finished, lacing your fingers together before draping his arm over your shoulder and pulling you closer to him.

"Wait a damn minute," Mobius said suspiciously, pointing a finger between the two of you. "Are you two trying to tell me that the first and so far only case of soulmates we have on record is--"

"Us," you finished for him, nudging the cart in his direction with your foot. "Every single lifetime on every single timeline accounted for."

"What about your own?" he questioned. "You both mentioned that you'd never met your timeline's version of each other prior to your Nexus events."

"Well see that's the thing. These files only cover everything prior to a variant's Nexus event, or what the events were in their own respective sacred timelines. We met each other after our Nexus events. So maybe our souls never found each other in the lives that we left behind because…we were meant to find each other here."

"Huh…" he mused, looking carefully at the two of you. "Could be. Nice catch, you two. I knew I made a good call giving you a partner, Loki."

"My darling mortal is quite brilliant," your lover beamed, pressing a tender kiss to the top of your head. "I believe I owe you a debt of gratitude for our introduction."

"Well, you really don't have to but if you feel so compelled, I'm willing to take a jet ski and a vacation to Miami if you two can swing it."

"We'll call you if anything serious pops up, just keep your tempad charged," you shot back, extending your free hand toward him to shake. "But really, Cubey. Thank you. For introducing us. For vouching for me and making sure that I didn't get pruned during my trial with Rennslayer--"

"Otherwise you might have crossed paths with that one-handed variant in the Void and who knows what nefarious and depraved intentions he would have had with you," Loki interjected, resting his head on yours.

"You have a Captain Hook variant?"

"Nah it was a president," Mobius answered with a wave of his hand. "Got his hand bit off by an alligator."

"So…a Captain Hook variant."

"Yeah, you know what you're right. Loki has a Captain Hook variant. You'll meet him soon enough when you get sent on a mission to the Void. Loads of highly dangerous variants usually find themselves there when they try to escape processing."

"If he even dares touch you I'll divest him of his remaining hand," Loki grumbled, once again pressing his lips to your temple. "That heathen can find his own variant of you. You're mine."

"All yours," you beamed, bringing your joint hands to your lips to press a kiss to his knuckles. "And speaking of…we're off for a few weeks, Cubey. We have a date to get to."

"Please don't get arrested for indecent exposure. Or public fornication," the senior agent groaned. "That's a timeline I'll need therapy for if I have to be the sorry ass to reset it."

Neither of you responded other than a little wave and a thumbs up in his direction as you walked away, the god giving you a dimpled smirk as you two made your way to your shared apartment.

"Where shall we head to first, little mortal? A hot spring? Or perhaps a nice scenic tundra? Or perhaps a cherry blossom forest? I can already picture your beauty with the backdrop of the falling petals…"

He stopped listing options when he saw you shaking your head, mirroring his smirk with one of your own. "Bedroom first. And give me your tie. You owe me ninety minutes."

A/N: I'm so glad to finally get this out for y'all to see! This was originally supposed to up weeks ago for something but some of my own revelations were made (translation: I got bitch slapped in the face by reality) which led to the postponing of this story. Anyways, I hope y'all liked it even if it is kinda cringe and silly. I'm always gonna be cringe and silly, so manage expectations accordingly. 🥴🫡

Also if you got all the references within the files (except the OLLA one that's a freebie) I officially love you. 💖💛

'everything' taglist: @sailorholly @loopsisloops @imalovernotahater @coldnique @loz-3 @huntress-artemiss @salempoe @vickie5446 @athalialaufeyson @lokiprompts @kats72 @kikster606 @evelyn-kingsley @lokixryss @thomase1 @mischief2sarawr @peaches1958 @lovingchoices14 @lunarnights95 @goblingirlsarah @iamlokisgloriouspurpose @creationsbyme @maple-seed @mjsthrillernp @ladyofthestayingpower @mygfloki @sititran @glitterylokislut @ozymdias @fictive-sl0th  @lokidbadguy @mochie85 @silverfire475 @joyful-enchantress @elizabethmidnight2017 @holdmytesseract @smolvenger @gigglingtiggerv2 @lokidokieokie @lunarnights95 @superficialdomina @anukulee @kmc1989 @november-rayne @goddessofwonderland @buttercupcookies-blog

[singingcicadas]

More thoughts on Cyclonus.

Nova's evaluation of him in this panel is brutally accurate. That last sentence. Ouch.

On the surface level Cyclonus appears to be portrayed as this stiff proud warrior with an austere, diehard take on his own internal code of honour and patriotism, but the more I think about it his actual character is pretty much the opposite? He doesn't have any hardfast values or stances of his own aside from shallow romanticism for the preachings of others.

His whole life is comprised of hanging onto other people. First it's Nova and his group, despite Nova and Jhiaxius looking down on him and insulting him to his face and being very forthright about the actual purpose of their mission, which Cyclonus apparently had different ideals about. Theoretically. But he didn't say anything after Nova corrected him.

Then it's Galvatron, after Galvatron backstabbed Nova. Even when Galvatron became increasingly unhinged and violent toward him and also started insulting him to his face, he still continued to follow Galvatron around because Galvatron's powerful, hope he stays on our side.

Then after he broke off from Galvatron post-Chaos Theory he joined the Lost Light, an Autobot ship, despite not liking Autobots, because it had something that he wanted: the chance to start again.

His defense for murdering all those people in Kimia is literally "he made me do it." That's all he can come up with. He even knows it's a bad excuse.

And he always corrects people when they assume he's a Decepticon. Here he directly says that he doesn't want to be a Decepticon. Why not, if he clearly admires their ideology?

One possible reason is maybe he doesn't like their ideology that much. Enough to romanticize it from a safe distance but not enough to commit to it himself (since doing that would force him to do actual introspection about his own role in what made the Decepticon ideology so appealing in the first place). Second reason's simpler: Decepticons have to wear inhibitor chips. No thanks. They're the losing side.

Once on board the Lost Light he followed Rodimus' command fine despite Rodimus accusing him of murdering Red Alert without any proof. Then after he developed a relationship with Tailgate, he put Tailgate up on a pedestal and made Tailgate the center of his universe.

But then there's also this 🔽 after he thought Tailgate dumped him:

I don't even know what he's trying to do there😂

His lack of true conviction is evident in the little things too: he thinks it's unethical for Rodimus to perform mnemosurgery on Tailgate while he's unconscious and unable to give consent but drops the subject after Rodimus distracted him with fireworks. He thinks that mutiliating an enemy's corpse is appalling but doesn't say anything when Rodimus said they were going to use Skip's corpse as a shuttle to get off Necroworld. It's Nautica who raised ethical objections, not him. He's supposed to be really religious but when the guiding hand did their big reveal at the end of Lost Light, he got nearly zero lines because of compressed screentime except to argue with Epistemus over sending Tailgate into danger.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that Cyclonus is essentially a go-with-the-flow sort of person. Nothing he holds is uncompromisable. Not his ideals, not his values, not his pride, not his faith. To an extent, not even his love for Tailgate, at least not completely, because he left when Tailgate told him to leave even when he suspected that Tailgate was lying about not loving him without making more of an effort to understand why. It all depends on the person he's hanging on to at the moment. And his choice of which leader to follow is ultimately based on self-serving reasons. This pattern is first broken when he turns on Galvatron, then fully subverted after he learns to love Tailgate as a sign of character growth.

He's not an intrinsically cruel or callous person. The way he learns to love Tailgate, befriend Whirl, and being kind and supportive to everyone when Rodimus left him in charge on the Necroworld are all attestments of his better nature. Water takes the shape of the container in which it's kept; surround him with people like Galvatron and Nova and he'll be their murder machine. Put him in the company of people who's mostly decent like the Lost Light crew and he'll grow into a compassionate person and a reliable friend.

[bonny-kookoo]

Sugar (C)Rush Short: Heated 🔞

In which you finally get what you want, but its more than you'd thought.

Tags/Warnings: Wolf!Jungkook, Dog!Reader, Smut, NSFW, Slow sex, protected sex because we wrap it up in this household, knotting oops, a lot of.. fluids, very fluff, soft, so soft, nesting, biting?, they're so cute

Length: 2k Words

There is no taglist for this fic.

-> Masterlist

♥━━━━━━━━━━•.♡.•━━━━━━━━━━━━♥

Jungkook is definitely not in a hurry, that's for sure.

He seems entirely content watching you struggle on his lap, grinding into his hand for any sort of relief, though it's not that easy. "Have you ever spent it with anyone before?" He asks gently, tucking some of your hair behind your ear before his hand holds your lower back again, giving you a sense of security on your position on his lap.

You shake your head, and he chuckles, curling his finger a little, which makes you jump from the sudden movement. "So I'm your first?" He wonders, and you nod, stilling a little.

"Is that.. bad?" You ask, a little confused and also out of breath, but he laughs, and shakes his head.

"Means I don't have to compete first of all-" He jokes, before leaning back a bit further, and pushing your behind forward- making you realize rather quickly what exactly you're now sitting on. "-but also makes me wanna make sure I'll stay your one and only." He hums with a dark gaze, something that makes you squirm a little.

"But-" You worry a little, ears tilted backwards, as his hand reaches out to caress your cheek. "-you're a wolf? Don't you wanna.. have fun, you know, until you find your mate?" You ask, and he smiles at you, shrugging.

"Who says I haven't found it already?" He tells you charmingly, making you shy away a little from him. "I'm not joking." He tells you, and you're not sure what to say now.

"Can we.. maybe, nest together?" You ask, quietly as if you don't want to be heard- but he hears it clearly, and nods.

"Of course. We don't have to do anything at all-" He tells you, but you shake your head, without thinking pressing down a little on his pretty obvious tent in his pants, making him groan out.

"Oh- sorry-" You apologize, but he's still smiling, taking it lightly. "But uh.. I do want to, but like, I don't know.. properly?" You wonder, and he nods, understanding.

"Of course." He smiles, helping you onto your feet to go gather all the blankets you think might be necessary for a proper nest- constantly looking at Jungkook for reassurance, which he happily provides. You're worried the longer you take the less he'll be interested in.. well, that, but it doesn't seem like he's bothered at all.

It's relaxing, comfortable. Makes you feel more at ease than you thought you would be.

You're not sure what to really do as you move the blankets and pillows around in the living room, but he's quick to help you in that task. And as soon as he realizes you're satisfied with it as you lean into the sides of the nest, finally laying down to rub your scent all over it, he's all over you. His hands are pressing your back into his front, face in your neck as he nips at the skin, teeth biting playfully, not enough to hurt.

He's still just playing around.

But you want more.

You let yourself fall down onto your back beneath him, eagerly accepting his heated kisses while you squirm under his exploring hands. Unbeknownst to you, your scent is already driving him crazy- but he's using all of his willpower to control himself and take things slow. Not just for your sake-

But also because he really enjoys seeing you so desperate.

He complies with your wordless request to lose his shirt- and while you're a little bit intimidated, you try and stay calm. It's not like you believe he'd hurt you. It's more the insecurity of your currently very much not as lean body he's about to see, lower stomach a little bloated from the hormones rushing through you- for once without any medication to control them.

But he doesn't seem appalled at all once he pulls your top over your head. If anything, he appears to be even more eager now, hands running over your warm skin, lips kissing your neck and shoulder. "You're so pretty." He compliments randomly, breathlessly, and you can't do much more than whine, tail wagging. "Hm?" He chuckles, leans back on his heels as he pulls your legs over one of his shoulders, pulling both your shorts and underwear off in one go, before he lets them fall down somewhere in the distance. Your legs are lowered again, and so is he- mouth and hand on you now, clearly starting to explore what makes you feel the best.

His fingers feel foreign inside you, so much better than your own, and you can't help but buck your hips a little at the sensations of it all. His tongue is warm, sometimes running flat over your heat, and occasionally, he closes his lips over your sensitive nerves to gently suck. It's all so new and unclear- you never really know what's coming next, and maybe for once, you're not scared about that fact. Because it's him- and he knows what's best, right?

Once he's pleased with whatever he's been doing to you does he open his own jeans, finally getting rid of the last pieces of clothing hiding his skin away from you.

And one look is enough for you to now know why he'd brought that.. bottle of clear lube with him.

"You know, I brought the lube for a reason.." He almost.. shyly tells you, hand teasing you between your legs, almost playfully coating his own fingers in your clear arousal. "..but I don't think I actually need it." He teases, before he moves to roll the condom over himself, the hand that's been occupied with you just moments prior now running over the entirety of his length base to tip, making you swallow almost impatiently at the sight. "If anything hurts-" he starts, but you just whimper in complaint.

"-I'll tell you. Please-!" You beg, legs pulled close to your stomach to present to him, and he can't help the soft growl that escapes him at the sight of your submissive impatience, skin all flushed and hips unable to stay still it seems. The hairs of your fluffy tail stick together in little groups at the base, wet from your own arousal having slowly traveled down, slowly reaching the sheets below you by now.

He pulls on your knees before be adjusts your position to his preference- having you lay somewhat sideways, one leg held by his hand under your thigh over his waist while the other stays on the bed, comfortably stretched out. He doesn't need much help even from himself to find your entrance, tip easily slipping inside, and he can already feel you clenching around nothing. "So needy.." he teases, before he pushes quite a bit, a sigh leaving you as you feel him filling you up inch by inch.

He goes slow, steady, let's you adjust for as long as you have to, patiently scanning your body and face for any signs of discomfort as he moves along. He's making your head spin and thoughts go silent, nothing on your mind but him- as you slowly let yourself go, very much aware of what's happening to you- and one look is shared with him, before you let your instincts take control, his own reacting almost immediately.

And then he pulls back, just to push back in with a lot more force than before, a wet smack accompanying the motion. You can't keep your voice quiet, the moan escaping you soft but audible, and he smiles to himself, watching you. He does it again, leans over you now, free hand pushing into the blankets you're laying on right next to your waist, lips finding yours in a heated kiss.

Now you understand what other hybrids mean when they say how good your heat can feel with the right partner.

The deeper he goes, the more your body feels like it's on a Rollercoaster- that distinctive feeling in your stomach making your hips writhe while he leans back a little, holding your thigh to keep you close while his hips move sinfully. Normally, your mind would be full of worry.

But right now, it's just filled with the need for pleasure- the need to be as close as you can to him.

"So good.." he sighs, eyes focusing on the sticky strings of your arousal clinging to his skin already, wet sounds accompanying every soft thrust he delivers to you, slow moving, everything still casual, soft, gentle- and he plans to keep it this way, for now, to slowly ease you into it. He can't wait to breed you properly one day, make love to you until your body gives up- but for this time, he behaves, goes slow, let's you adjust.

This isn't about him, after all. It's all about you, and the connection you're creating in this moment.

And he can't say that he's missing anything either- though true, that he's typically a more.. active lover, always needing a certain sense of excitement and primal form of aggression, but for the first time, he doesn't actually mind this slow love at all. He enjoys this fully, if only for the look on your face, head pushed back into the pillows below, soft sighs and eager whining coming from you, as you stretch your arms above your head, back arching in pleasure. You're pushing yourself closer to him, leg now moving to turn yourself over onto your back instead, ankles pulling yourself closer as your heels push against the small of his back, making his hips snap against you a little harsher, skin against skin now louder in the room.

"Such a pretty girl.." He hums breathlessly, hands grabbing at your thighs as he pulls you closer, your legs becoming restless as you begin to clearly chase your first high. your tone raises in pitch, breaths coming shorter, as you clench around his length inside you, and he himself can feel his own high approaching as well. His hands become eager to touch, your skin too warm and soft and enticing to not run his fingers over, the need to feel you suffocating almost.

It's then that he changes positions once more, now leaning over you, lips catching yours in a heated kiss that's clearly trying to steal your breath. His tongue is eager to taste you, and you willingly let him, all shame thrown out the window as he picks up the pace, finally giving you the last push you needed as you whine out, tipping over the edge as he snaps his hips into yours, moving to instead bite at your neck, your shoulder, your collarbone. He needs to mark you up, has to claim you, because if this isn't love, then love has to be a lie.

He has to keep you. Needs you at his side forever. You're it for him, and he knows it- realizing only seconds after his knot locks him inside you, that the bond between you both has snapped into place.

Mates.

He never thought it was actually a real thing- always somehow thought it was just a very romanticized fictional story people talk about when they think of their partners. Like soulmates, it was just a pretty little story to him- but this? This is real. So much so that it almost hurts.

He holds you close long after you both reached your highs, and it's not just because of his knot keeping you locked inside you. It's also to bond with you fully, arms reaching to adjust the nest around you, pulling the blankets closer to support your back, while he makes sure to not make you uncomfortable or hurt you by moving too much.

You on the other hand just cling to him and his warm skin, his scent and his care and his overall emotional energy keeping you close, as if there's an invisible string keeping you attached. You don't know it yet- you'll probably figure it out once you're in a more rational headspace again, however. But for now, it doesn't matter.

For now, you just exist.

For now, you're both just simply in love.

[the-ace-with-spades]

Unhinged buddie fic idea again -- Tia Pepa starts setting up Eddie on dates but with a bit of an AU twist.

Tia Pepa starts setting Eddie up on dates. Which Buck is fine with. Obviously. Why wouldn't he be? Eddie is his best friend, he wants him to be happy. He's also straight and maybe Buck liked having him all to himself but realistically, that couldn't last forever.

Whatever. He can get over it. Or he can at least pretend he got over it.

So Eddie is complaining at the firehouse about another set-up date and Buck tries to be positive and encouraging and says something about how Eddie could at least give them a chance - even if every word is said through gritted teeth.

And Eddie is appalled and says something along the lines of, "Maybe my tia should be setting you up, if you're so open to the idea." And everyone from the team claws at the idea, teasing Buck about being single and wanting to marry into the Diaz family through Eddie's cousin or something (which, a bit too close to the truth, ha).

Eddie finds the idea so hilarious that he tells Pepa about it. And regrets it not a minute later when she says, "Why not? I could set your Buck up with someone nice."

This actually makes Eddie grit his teeth, there's just something that makes him itch, even just thinking about Buck going out with any of the women Eddie went out with---Just no.

What he doesn't know is, Tia Pepa goes over his head on this --- just calls Buck (because of course she has his number, he's family and Eddie's and Chris's emergency contact). She sweet-talks Buck into it over the phone, telling him how Eddie told her about how he's single and how she knows just the right person for Buck and it'll be nice to keep Buck close in the family if it works out.

Obviously, Buck is skeptical --- there's just one Diaz he wants to be with and he's unavailable --- but then Pepa keeps on going how she knows just his type and how he's not going to regret it and just one date never harmed anyone and, well, Buck caves in because he's weak against most Diazes it seems.

He doesn't tell anyone about it. Not even Eddie. It's probably just going to be one date that he'll ruin like he always does and the girl will tell Pepa all about it and then Pepa won't even bother to set up another poor girl with him.

He gets a text with the place and time, a small hole-in-the-wall place that's just about Buck's thing, and an ominous message with Addy will wait for you there, look out for a red bandana.

And Buck is expecting some cute girl in dungarees and with a bandana holding up her hair but when he enters the place, it's almost dead and there's just some elderly couple, a group of teens, and a guy. A guy in jeans, a white t-shirt, sunglasses, and with a red bandana tied around his neck.

Turns out Addy is short for Adam, not Adelina or Adriana like Buck thought.

Adam is also gorgeous. Dark hair, chocolate eyes, tan skin, fit and strong. Addy has a six-year-old daughter, is no longer in contact with his ex-husband, works as a nurse in the ER, loves quiet indie places, and would love to travel the world every chance he has.

When after the date --- which goes on for so long the cafe's owner has to ask them to leave because they're closing --- Buck calls Pepa to tell her how it went and when can't really make his mouth produce words, she just tells him, "I told you I know your type, mijo."

Needless to say, Eddie finds out about that fast because Addy is his cousin and texts him for ideas for a second date with 'his friend Buck.'

His brain resets. Then restarts. Then resets again.

He did not know that about Buck. He would've known that about Buck.

He's calling his tia before he knows it and demanding answers.

Eddie, well, Eddie is fuming inside but Buck seems happy and Addy seems happy and they're both good guys so he shuts up whatever unreasonable, surprising anger he's boiling with and helps Addy prepare a date --- tells him about the water show in the aquarium he was planning on taking Buck and Chris to.

But the day of the show comes and Buck isn't answering his texts and he's just walking in circles around the kitchen table and before he realizes what he's doing, he's packing Chris into the car and, "Oh, look at that, what a coincident we're meeting you here."

He feels like an absolute madman when Addy tells him, when Buck and Chris are distracted by colorful fish, "If you didn't want me to date him, you could have just said so."

And a couple of days later both Pepa and Buck are at Eddie's for dinner and he feels like an absolute asshole when Pepa tells Buck Addy doesn't want another date. For about five minutes, that is, because after that Pepa looks Eddie straight in the eyes, he swears, and says brightly, "Don't worry, I know plenty of young single men that are just your type, Evanito."

The history repeats, obviously, and Eddie uses Chris to just 'run' into Buck on his date with another of his cousins. At some point, his cousins probably start to warn each other about it because they stop talking to Eddie about Buck's favorite activities and foods.

But they tell Buck the date places. And Buck tells at least one person on the team, always, and Eddie might be a madman but he's a madman on a mission so he always tricks the info out of someone -- Chim is usually the easiest and Hen won't admit but she likes to gossip about people's love lives. He even manages to trick Bobby into telling him where Buck is on his next date under the disguise of concerned 'Buck sure is going on a lot of dates lately,' etc. and Bobby actually falls for it and Eddie feels guilty about it until he hears Buck is going on a date with his godawful cousin Marco.

(Meanwhile, every time Buck 'runs' into Eddie on a date, he's cursing the universe and its stupid, obvious signs... Like, he knows he's in love with Eddie, the universe can shut up and stop screaming at him.)

Eddie is at Pepa's again and she comes back from where she was talking to someone on the terrace and silently sits down opposite Eddie with that look and says, "So, that was Marco."

"Yes, exactly. Marco. How could you set him up with Marco of all people?"

"Well, I'm running out of candidates because someone keeps on scaring them off."

Eddie doesn't look her in the eyes. He's truly become a madman since the whole thing started happening but like hell he'll admit it.

"You know, Eddie, if you don't want Buck to date any of your cousins, there's an easy solution that will solve this dilemma and will let us keep Buck in the family."

"Pepa---"

"Tell you what, I'll set one more date for him, tomorrow at seven at that ice cream sandwich truck Chris likes," she says, raising her eyebrows pointedly. "You decide if his date stands him up or not."

He never ever again wants to see Buck going out with any of his cousins.

Which doesn't mean he isn't a coward. He doesn't tell Buck. He tries to leave the house three times, changes his clothes about six times, and by the end of it, he's late.

Buck is easy to find between people, towering over most.

Buck smiles when he sees him but it doesn't quite reach his eyes. "Let me guess, he decided it wasn't worth it and backed out last minute," he sighs. "And Tia Pepa sent me a personal cheer squad to humor me up and pay for my ice cream."

"No, he's here," Eddie says because the it's me doesn't want to leave his mouth.

"Oh," Buck says, and his shoulders don't look so slumpy anymore but he still doesn't look, well, happy. "Where is he then?"

Eddie makes an elaborate wave with his arm and deadpans, "Ta-da."

There's a moment when those big baby blues blink at Eddie dumbly and Eddie swears Buck stops breathing for a few seconds before finally managing to push out, "Oh."

[thelaurenshippen]

finally taking the time to read through the SAG agreement summary and oof, I hope they have an AI town hall soon because...well, there are things to discuss!

so, in case folks are curious, here are my immediate takeaways from the deal as a SAG actor, a SAG producer, and person who is not any kind of expert but spends a lot of time being skeptical of contracts I sign. this is a summation/commentary, not a holistic breakdown of every point, nor even an in-depth discussion of the points I do talk about. and it is, of course, in no way legal advice or voting advice.

this post is already maybe the longest post I've ever written on tumblr (lol) and I feel like I've barely scratched the surface. to be clear, nothing I'm saying here represents how I'm going to vote, how I think other actors should vote, or my be-all-end-all stance on a particular issue. this is me reading through, flagging what concerns me, and asking myself questions. and I'm here to take your questions too! though of course my expertise is limited.

(what?? something I wrote got annoying long?? in my tumblr? it's more likely, etc. huge write-up after the cut)

the good

self-tape stuff: this is one of the more niche/the thing that the general public will find least interesting, but they've put in a lot of provisions to make sure self-tape auditions have limits (# of pages, no stunts, no nudity, doesn't have to be professionally shot, etc.) which is amazing because these types of auditions have gotten out of control since the pandemic. this feels like a great gain

data transparency: in no world did I think the streamers were ever going to agree to any data sharing with either the wga or sag so even though the data is limited, this still feels huge to me.

folks who sing and dance will be paid for both of those things now, which is great

they've added MLK day and Juneteenth as holidays (about time)

a performer cannot be required to translate their own lines

principal performers are required to be given hair and makeup consultation or reimbursed for obtaining their own services - this seems like a small thing, but it's being put in here pretty much entirely because HMU services have generally been appalling when it comes to textured hair/a variety of skin tones. there's also stuff in here about working to hire more diverse HMU artists

it looks like it's going to be easier/provide a path for folks getting IMDb credits even if they're not credited on screen

miscellany: there's a bunch of gains in wage increases, P&H increases, relocation fees, franchise language etc. that all seem good to me, though my limited knowledge on those subjects prevents me from going in depth on them.

this is not important, but it tickled me, there's a term to replace all instances of "telegraph" in the contract with "email & text" which like...why has it taken us thirty years to do that lol.

the "...hm..."

intimacy coordinators: oof. when I watched the press conference SAG gave, I was fucking thrilled when they said that the new agreement required folks to hire intimacy coordinators for nudity and simulated sex scenes. that was almost reason enough for me to vote for it tbh - not requiring it is the exact reason I voted no on our last contract. however, reading the contract summary now, the exact language is: "Producer must use best efforts to engage an Intimacy Coordinator for scenes involving nudity or simulated sex and will consider in good faith any request by a performer to engage an Intimacy Coordinator for other scenes. Producer shall not retaliate against a performer for requesting an Intimacy Coordinator." this....sucks. "best efforts" and "good faith" are not the same as "required". IMO, an intimacy coordinator is the same thing as having a stunt coordinator or, like, any number of health and safety requirements. OSHA doesn't say you must "in good faith" put your "best effort" to providing fire exits. it's great that performers can request coordinators for any kind of scene, and this is still the strongest language we've ever had in a contract but....c'mon guys.

residuals: look, I can't speak to these new terms in any concrete way. there are increases, there are bonuses for streaming success, there's a whole thing about a fund regarding those successes that I need explained to me more in depth, but overall, it looks like we made some in-roads here. as someone who employs actors under digital distribution contracts that has no residuals (podcasts), I know how genuinely cumbersome the unholy trifecta of "views-success-profit" can be (as in views do not equal success, success does not equal profit, etc.). I also have no sympathy when the majority of companies dealing with that cumbersome trifecta are massive media conglomerates. anyway, long story short, idk if this is good enough, I'm hoping to attend the next info meeting sag has.

the bad

the new hair/makeup provisions are explicitly for principal actors. while I hope it leads to better, more inclusive HMU services all around I haaaate that this implies supporting or background actors (who oftentimes also have to sit in HMU) don't deserve the consideration. (then again, background actors are usually required to do their own HMU/bring their own costumes, but for productions where that's not the case, the same HMU provisions should apply IMO)

as with every contract, there's language that could be stronger, clarity that needs to exist, and important things missing - but this isn't the final contract and I'm not a lawyer, so I'm gonna leave that stuff to the experts.

but, "lauren", you say, "what about all the AI stuff? where does that go?" well, reader, I was planning on including that in the above but it's the hot-button issue right now and I think it's wickedly complicated, so I wanted to break it down separately, after I had a chance to point out all the good-bad-in-between stuff that's not getting talked about.

a note: in my career, I've learned there's two big things to keep in mind when reading a contract you might sign:

what is the worst case interpretation of this language (thank you to my lawyer, prince among men, for teaching me how to do this in practice (that said, anything I say here is not legal advice, he'd also want me to say that lol))

what are you willing to lose/compromise on/what are the limits of your pragmatism? contracts are not about a company giving you everything you want out of the goodness of their heart - it is always a compromise. pragmatism has to be a part of the equation.

so, with that said, I'm going to play a little devil's advocate here, and a) try to find the good/the pragmatic and b) catastrophize the worst case scenario. but first, it might be handy to look at this SAG infographic for some basic definitions. let's go.

the AI good

a ton of stuff here requires consent. that is not a small thing, and the consent continues even after your death (whether it was a yes or no; though this can be complicated by your estate/your union)

the language does establish that the consent must be a separate signing from the employment contract, even if its in the contract, which is great (but more on that below - timing matters)

actors often do get paid for use of their digital replicas, though it's different based on the use/type of replica.

the actor must be provided with a "reasonably specific description of the intended use". this language is vaguer than I would like, because it allows producers to decide what "reasonably specific" and "intended" means - there's always going to be some vagueness when it comes to this specific thing, but a good start would be for producers to require not blanket consent, but conditional consent for each significant use of digital replicas.

if the replicas are being used in other mediums, that must also be consented to, thank god.

replicas cannot be used in place of background actor counts on a given day - if I'm understanding this correctly, this means a production can't just have a bunch of fake background actors by themselves, they have to engage real people up to a certain number first (which in this new contract is 25 for TV and 85 for movies). we're already filling in background with digital people or copy-pasting of the same crowd over and over and have been doing so since at least the late 90s, so it's good we're continuing to put up boundaries around that.

the AI "...hm..."

it's unclear (to me) when an actor can be asked to consent. IMO, everything is meaningless if the consent is happening as part of regular contract negotiations. these things have to happen when - and only when - the actor has already been engaged in a role and feels empowered to say no

the use of independently created replicas (replicas pulled from existing footage, not created by the actor) being allowed without consent under first amendment reasoning - this is obviously concerning a lot of people bc first amendment arguments are so broad. that said, there's a pragmatism part of me that understands this is already happening/has been happening for a while and used in ways I think are perfectly fine - I was just watching the new episode of For All Mankind (one of the best TV shows right now!) and it's an alternate history, which meant that in the opening scenes of this season they had some bonkers good deep fakes of Al Gore saying stuff he never said. I think that's okay to do in a fiction show that imagines a different US history! "but Lauren", you might be saying, "Al Gore isn't a member of SAG!" are you sure? are you positive? because I'm pretty certain he is - he was in several episodes of 30 Rock, way more people are in SAG than you think (every NPR reporter for instance), and the two worst presidents we've had in the last 50 years (yes, those ones), are both definitely members of SAG (even if one is dead). now, the other side of this is that public figures like politicians are under a different social contract than actors, and if they wanted to sue, they could, unlike the average SAG actor who might have their image abused. this is why this is in the "hm" column - deep fakes and parody/satire/commentary use of replicas is already here and there's always going to be a 1st amendment argument to make, so we need to figure out how best to limit those and protect the most vulnerable.

alteration: with this language, a project can digitally alter without consent if the script and performance stays "substantially" the same. again, this language is too mealy-mouthed. I don't know that I have a huge problem with a line of dialogue getting replaced with a digital version of that actors voice if, for instance, a word was mispronounced, or wind garbled the sound or whatever - yes, it would eliminate the need for ADR, but if we put some limit on it like..."if there are more than 5 lines in a given episode/movie that require digital alteration in the service of clarity, the actor must be engaged for an ADR session or paid for the digital replacement" then I could see this being workable. I'm also personally okay with things like costumes being digitally altered but, again, we need limitations on that. digital altering cannot replace the art of costuming but, for instance, if a costume needs to be altered to include a hate symbol or something, I think that's fine (example: I have friends who worked at the VFX house for an alternate history TV show that involved a lot of Nazi costuming and set design - a huge part of that VFX house's job was to put swastikas in places, rather than props making nazi flags. I'm okay with that!) but again, these fringe cases do not a compelling arugment make, and this contract language can be interpreted too broadly for my comfort! like everything else in this "hm" category, I need to see the final contract language to decide.

the AI bad

there's a bunch of circumstances in which actors don't get paid for creating their replica/use of it and those circumstances are too broad for my taste.

synthetic performers - this is just awful. no. no, we should not be allowing AI to generate entire actors. just............no. there's some language about the producers having to talk to the union if the synthetic performer is "used in place of a performer who would have been engaged under this Agreement in a human role" but this doesn't apply to non-human characters so....wouldn't that be all roles?? leaving the producers room to be like "this role has to be synthetic, we never would've cast a human!" is bullshit. also, even if we're having AI create a magical talking unicorn whole cloth (which, like, also no, we have artists for this), that unicorn still needs to be voiced by a human person. this whole section is a disaster.

the exceptions to consent for digital alteration are bad-bad. I talked about the potential ADR replacement above and that has a whole host of issues with it that I didn't even get into, but I can see the argument. the rest are very troubling:

there is an exception under "any circumstance when dubbing or use of a double is permitted under the Codified Basic Agreement or Television Agreement" - okay, so does this mean we can replace dubbing artists and stunt performers entirely? this section is about digital alteration, but who's to say alteration couldn't turn an actor broadly miming a fight into an entirely digital, expertly performed fight that usually a stunt double would have done? with AI translation technology, does this mean we're replacing VO artists for dubs entirely? bad!

similarly, "Adjusting lip and/or other facial or body movement and/or the voice of the performer to a foreign language, or for purposes of changes to dialogue or photography necessary for license or sale to a particular market" - Justine Bateman has a great twitter thread on the terrible puppetry potential of this but I want to draw attention to the particular market bit - we all know that selling to china is such a huge part of studios' strategies that they'll remove entire scenes or lines around queer stuff. to me, this clause makes all of that so much easier. I know the argument here is going to be "we can replace swear words and license it for kids!" which.......sure? fine? but, uh, we already have ways to deal with that? and the potential for abuse here is terrifying to me. with all the digital alteration stuff too, there's just so much icky implication for the beauty/body standard to get so much worse.

if a background actor’s digital replica is used in the role of a principal performer, they'll be paid as if they actually performed the days for that role, which, sure, but uhhhh why are we saying it's okay for a digital replica of a background actor to suddenly be a leading role!?!?! I can't think of anything more demoralizing than going to set to act in background (a job I've done! an important job! a fun job a lot of the time! but creatively limited) and then getting a much bigger role (the dream!) and.....not being able to, you know, act that role or be in scenes with other principal actors or do the thing that you've dedicated your life to doing. nightmare stuff.

woof. there's so much more to say but I'm going to leave it there. these are the concerns I'm going to go into SAG's meetings with, and the concerns I'll be considering as I decide how to vote. I know there are things I didn't address and very possibly things I misinterpreted or misrepresented - if you're an actor, I highly recommend a) reading that Justine Bateman thread and b) attending SAG's meetings to ask questions and express your concerns. and I'd love to hear what y'all think! my ask box is open.

[mylovelies-docx]

Dinner & Diatribes

A/N: Hey, wow, look at me posting another fic!

This one has also been in the works for a while (if you know when Dinner & Diatribes by Hozier came out, you might realize just how long).

Highly suggest giving the song a listen! Or anything by Hozier, really. I finally get to see this man in concert, so I'm ecstatic!

This is 5k words of pure smut. No plot. I'm not sorry about it.

Plot (or lack thereof): You and Bucky attend a dinner party for a couple you saved on the last mission. Unbeknownst to the couple (or maybe they just don't care), they're being total cock-blocks.

C/W: Smut, smut, smut (18+, Minors DNI)

Kinks: Edging, choking, hair-pulling, spanking, fingering, public sex, semi-public sex, overstimulation, cock warming, Bucky's metal hand (yes, it is a kink), reader is cock-drunk for half of the story. Probably more, let me know.

“Save some people one time, and they think they’re obligated to your free time,” you mutter into Bucky’s ear. He laughs softly and tightens his arm where it lays around your shoulders. Bucky knows that there’s no real venom behind your words, just disgruntlement that you’re not spending the evening alone like you had planned.

A destination wedding. How cliche. You didn’t know the couple, but your publicist insisted that you and Bucky attend their wedding. You’re currently sitting around a cramped table in the hotel restaurant, sipping greedily at your alcoholic beverage hoping to take the edge off.

The couple nearly broke down your and Bucky’s door an hour earlier, insisting that you join their wedding party downstairs for dinner. Their pounding on the door kept you from getting pounded by your boyfriend, and now you’re frustrated beyond belief. This nice dress should have been crumpled on your hotel room floor next to where you’d left your panties earlier. You wiggle in your seat as you’re reminded of your bare ass against the leather.

Buck reaches his metal arm across his body and rests his palm on the top of your thigh, giving it a light squeeze. “The head is a talking type, yeah?” he whispers to you, nodding towards the head of the table who had been droning on (and on) about how they’d met their significant other at a galaaaa and they’d had canapes and spaaarkling waaaater while looking out from the verandaaaa in Viennaaaa. 

Seriously. Could they be any more pretentious?

You roll your eyes and bring your glass up to cover your mouth as you say, “Sounds like Tony before he ate a slice of humble pie out in the desert.” Bucky nearly chokes on his drink, spluttering and coughing into the back of his hand. He quickly recovers with an apologetic little smile and wave when the wedding party gives him a look, appalled that he’d dare interrupt the speech. They all face forward again when Bucky places his glass back on the table.

Bucky leans his head down so that his lips brush the shell of your ear.

“You better watch yourself, doll.” Bucky’s hand on your thigh slides to where your legs come together, too far to be of any use to you at the moment but tantalizing as the cool metal heats from the warmth of your skin. “The more we interrupt, the longer we’ll be here in hell.”

A smirk curves your lips as you place your hand on Bucky’s cheek and guide his head so you can whisper in his ear. The roughness of his stubble against your soft palm has you thinking of where else you’d like to feel the burn of his beard.

“I’d suffer hell if you’d tell me what you’ll do to me tonight.”

Bucky’s normally soft blue eyes find your own, and his gaze darkens as he stares intently at you. Your own pulse rises to match the thud of his heart where your palm has slipped down to cup around his neck. 

Bucky uses the arm on your shoulder and the hand between your legs to pull you closer on the padded bench. Your dress was too short to tuck underneath you as you sat down, and you’d been so turned on earlier that the slick between your thighs had escaped and caused your thighs to stick to the leather. The abrupt movement vibrates your skin, sending pleasure straight to your core. You close your eyes at the sensation and the feel of Bucky’s warm breath across your face. He’s pulled the thigh he was holding so that your knee is hitched up over his leg, leaving you open to the cool breeze flowing from underneath the table. 

“Yeah, sweetheart?” he coos softly, “You want me to tell you what I’d rather be doing right now?”

You breathe out heavily as your thigh brushes against the bulge in his pants, opening your eyes to look into Bucky’s bright gaze. “Tell me.”

His metal fingers inch their way up your thigh, coming closer and closer to where you want him most.

“Or would you rather I show you?” he breathes against your mouth right before he places a small, hungry kiss on your lips. You hum, trying to follow him as he pulls his face away. He nestles your head against his shoulder and acts like he’s paying attention to the speech again, but his index finger ever so gently runs along your slit, gathering the wetness that only continues to grow as he caresses you.

You whimper silently, aware that the people next to and across from you could look over at any moment and see Bucky’s hand at your exposed core. You grasp at his shirt and ever so subtly shift your hips. Bucky tsks softly and moves his arm down off your shoulders and around your hips so that he can hold you in place.

Bucky’s voice is husky in your ear. “You don’t want these people to see you grinding on my hand like the needly little thing you are, do you?”

You gasp as one thick finger suddenly thrusts inside you. You press your forehead hard into Bucky’s chest, barely stopping yourself from crawling into his lap and straddling the hard length that’s straining against the fabric of his slacks.

Just then, the person that had been talking for the last eternity finally ended their speech. Bucky curls his finger once inside of you before extricating his hand from between your tense thighs. You whine at the loss as Bucky very casually licks his finger and pulls his arm away from your hips. He shoots you a shit-eating grin as he claps for the next person standing up to speak.

“You wanted to know what I’m gonna do with you later tonight, right? I’m thinking something like that.”

You laugh as it sinks in. Bucky is only teasing you, and he’d never intended for you to get off on his fingers – or even come close to it – here at the table. Or at all, if he’s thinking of edging you all night. You can scarcely speak, thinking of what all he has in mind for tonight.

The dinner drags on. Bucky refuses to do anything more than kiss along your neck, or gently graze your nipples as he reaches across you for something, or hike your leg higher over his so that he can quickly rub your clit with his thumb for no more than a few seconds. 

You’re nearly out of your mind with lust by the time the end of the party is in sight. You’ve been able to drown out everyone’s voices with the brief feel of Bucky’s lips and hands, with the dirty visions of your anticipated release later tonight. 

You’re so wound up that you barely register the parting words of the final speaker until you notice everyone turning away to reach for their glasses. You compose your features into an expression that you hope is passable despite the heat suffusing your face and chest. Your unsteady breaths are barely concealed by the fake little laugh you let out as you raise your glass with everyone else. Your eyes travel from Bucky’s slick and shiny fingers all the way up his arm and to his face. He’s looking at you with eyes that promise so many things once you’re alone.

“And a thank you to our very special friends: the Avengers. Thank you both soooo much for taking the time away from saving the world to help me celebrate my world.”

You snap your gaze away from Bucky’s heated one and chuckle a little awkwardly as you look around. Everyone is looking at you now, and you hope like hell they’re oblivious to what Bucky has been doing to you for the last hour. You’re extremely conscious of the fact that you’re basically sitting in a puddle of your own juices, so turned on that you’ve soaked through the side of Bucky’s pants where your core has been trying and failing to grind against him.

The dinner party begins to make their goodbyes and stand to leave. A spike of anxiety shoots through you at the thought of having to stand up and expose the shine and slick coating Bucky’s leg and the seat beneath you. Your hand clenches around Bucky’s knee and you turn your face up to look at him. 

He gives you a soft smile and places a kiss on your temple before reaching for something on the table and ‘accidentally’ spilling a large glass of water as he pulls his hand back. All the contents in the cup cascade over the side of the table and into both of your laps. You jump up at the cold liquid hitting your sensitive thighs and feel Bucky jump up behind you, his entire lap soaking wet.

“You okay, dollface?” Bucky asks as he wraps you in his arms and pulls you away from the rapidly spreading puddle at your feet. You nod your head and wrap your arms around his waist. You’re so lust-rattled that you’ve turned into a needy and clingy little thing, unable to think any coherent thoughts until after Bucky lets you cum.

Bucky wraps his arms low around your waist, hands perilously close to groping your ass in front of everyone. You feel his cock pressing hard into your abdomen as you cling onto his front, causing you to shimmy against him. Bucky sucks in a quick breath before making his excuses and guides you both out of the dining room. He pulls you away from him so that you can walk beside him normally, but he grabs your hand in his large one and squeezes so that you know he doesn’t want to let you go.

He hustles you to the elevator and rapidly presses the call button. You turn so that the arm holding your hand is pulled into your body, cradling his bicep between your breasts. You grab at the other and entwine your fingers, lowering your hands so that his knuckles press into your mound right above your aching clit. You whine loudly at the feeling, uncaring of the people around you.

Bucky curses and pulls his hand away from your heated flesh. Pushing his now free hand through his hair, Bucky looks quickly around the lobby. He spots what he’s looking for and drags you through a door at the end of the room. Before the door even closes, he grabs both of your hands in his metal one and pushes you against the wall with your arms pinned above your head. He uses his flesh hand to grab at your knee and pull it up to his waist. You moan at the feel of him pushing against your center.

“Hell, sugar, you can’t do that in the middle of the fucking lobby.” Bucky rubs his nose along your jawline and up into your hair, breathing in deeply against your scalp. “There’s paparazzi standing right outside those windows.”

“Don’t care,” you whine, using your position to grind satisfyingly against his cock. “Need you, Bucky. Please.”

“Jesus, doll,” Bucky groans low in his throat, “you’re gonna get us in trouble.” But he’s as addicted to you as you are to him, so he drops your wrists and pulls you up into his arms, letting you wrap your legs around his waist and settle against him fully. You throw your head back against the wall and look above you, seeing dozens of sets of stairs spin into the highest reaches of the hotel.

Your moan bounces up into the echo chamber of the stairwell when Bucky thrusts his hips against yours roughly, fighting against the fabric of his pants to feel your wet heat on his cock. He grinds himself between your legs, the rough fabric covering his hard length providing the friction you've been looking for all evening. You gasp and tighten your legs where they've pulled Bucky in as close as you could get him, wanting – needing – to feel him buried inside you.

"Are you close, baby? Close to coming all over me in this stairwell?" He stops grinding for a moment to bounce you higher up the wall, putting a millisecond's worth of intense pressure on your clit. "Huh?" Bucky prompts.

"Yes," you mewl pathetically. You have one hand pushing against his shoulder while the other clasps his neck and pulls him into you, the stimulation too much for your body to know if it wanted Bucky to make you come or not.

Of course, you want it, your brain tells you. You want it oh so bad.

"Bucky. Please. I'm – ah."

"Yeah, baby?" Bucky teases you, using one hand to turn your face so that he can look into your cloudy eyes. What he sees there must spur him further in his own desire, because he suddenly plants a hard kiss on your lips and pulls away from you.

You drop down, barely catching yourself in time for your wobbly knees to support you. You nearly cry at the loss of contact, tears starting to form in your eyes. But as quickly as Bucky had dropped you, he scoops you up and over his shoulder. You feel a firm smack against your skin where your thigh meets the swell of your backside, and you can't help but cry out as the sensation travels through your skin and vibrates deep inside your pussy.

"Quiet, doll," Bucky admonishes as he climbs the stairs three at a time, "not a sound until we're in the room. Got it?" He asks again with another smack.

With your ass on full display over Bucky's shoulder, all you can do is wrap your arms around his waist from the back and feel the rush of blood flow to your head. 

"Good girl," Bucky hums at your silence. He massages the juncture of your legs, his long fingers nearly inside your slit. You gasp quietly with every bump as Bucky powers up the stairs to your floor.

Once at the correct level, Bucky wrenches open the stairwell door, making sure to keep you balanced up on his shoulder. He walks quickly to your room, digging the keycard out of his pocket and swiping it against the reader. You can’t see the red light, but you hear the indicator deny your entry.

Bucky curses and tries again. Another error code. 

You whimper pitifully from where you dangle, close to crying if Bucky’s cock isn’t inside of you soon. “Bucky. Baby. Please. I can’t wait anymore.”

Your cries force another curse from Bucky’s lips. He can’t stand how painfully needy you sound. Can’t stand not giving you exactly what you want from him.

He grabs the handle with his metal fist, forcing it downwards and breaking the locking mechanism. Finally gaining entry, Bucky walks in and kicks the door closed with his foot. Not wasting any more time, he throws you onto the bed, where you bounce several times on the plush surface. You spread your legs wide, laying there for several seconds. You enjoy the view of Bucky’s eyes on your exposed pussy as he shucks off his suit jacket and unbuttons the shirt beneath.

As his hands get to his belt, his eyes trail up from your glistening folds and pierce directly into your lust filled gaze. “All fours. Now.”

Not wasting a second, you turn over onto your stomach, pushing yourself up onto your knees and hands. You spread your legs apart, granting access for Bucky to slide in between them. But instead of a dip in the bed behind you like you’re expecting, you feel Bucky’s large hands grab onto your hips, pulling you backwards towards the edge of the bed.

You squeal in anticipation, feeling Bucky’s long legs press into your thighs. One of his hands circles around from your hip and cups your pussy. The other slides up along your spine until it reaches the back of your neck, forcing your top down until you’re resting on your elbows instead.

“I’m going deep, dollface. Take a nice big breath for me.”

If Bucky hadn’t reminded you, you’d probably have suffered from hypoxia since you’re sure you haven’t taken a breath since turning over.

You suck in a lungful of air as Bucky’s hand on your neck slides back down to your bottom and gives a quick slap. You shudder against him and almost collapse onto your face as he takes the hand from your pussy and lifts your thigh up and over the leg he plants on the bed.

Without a second’s hesitation, Bucky plunges his cock directly into your aching hole, filling you full to the brim.

You cry out in shock, your pussy spasming around his girth. No matter how many times you’ve taken him and no matter how wet you are, your body always forgets just how massive he is.

“That’s right,” he breathes, giving you a moment to adjust. “Just like that, baby.”

You moan and arch your back, hoping to accommodate quickly to this angle. When Bucky said deep, he meant deep. You can feel his cockhead nestled right up to your cervix, barely any room to spare. You’re so full – it feels as if your lungs can’t expand around his presence inside you. 

You take in gasping breaths, so turned on that you can barely hold yourself up. Bucky’s flesh hand soothes your backside, rubbing gentle circles around the red handprint you’re sure is there.

“Breathe, darlin’,” he reminds you.

Once he sees your chest expand with oxygen, he slides out nearly all the way before plunging back in fiercely. You scream in pleasure as he continues to pump into you with abandon, feeling the way his abs flex against your buttocks, how his cock slams over and over into your slick hole, how his balls slap against your clit. You can’t help the whimper that leaves your mouth on a particularly deep thrust, tears welling up and spilling out of your eyes. 

You reach one arm forward, grabbing for a pillow to bury your face in. The sensations are so intense that you need to bite down hard on the pillow, just needing to release the pressure building and building inside of you. You inhale your own hot, humid air as you struggle to take everything Bucky is giving you.

You’re so close to coming that you can’t think straight, but the rest of Bucky is so far away. You need to feel his whole body against you, need to feel his heat along your back and taste his tongue in your mouth.

“Bucky,” you whine, reaching a grabby hand behind you and looking to grab onto any part of him that you can reach. 

Your fingers barely scrape along the V of his lower abdomen, but Bucky scoops up your hand with his flesh one, the metal one still holding your thigh over his leg.

“What is it, baby?” he huffs. “What do you need, kitten?”

“You,” you gasp, leaving a trail of spittle from your mouth down to where you’ve had your jaw locked onto the pillow.

He huffs out a small laugh. “You’ve got me, Sugar.” He takes your entwined hands and uses your combined fingers to rub against your clit. “I’m right here.”

You sob at the pressure, too wound up to truly enjoy using the juices dripping from your pussy on your bundle of nerves. You shake your head, trying to figure out how to get your point across with what little vocabulary is left inside your sex-adled brain.

“You,” huff, “on me. My back.”

Bucky releases your hand and grabs your bicep, hauling you up until your back is flush with his chest and you’re sitting on his cock. You moan and bite your lip hard, leaning your head against his shoulder because you don’t have the strength to hold it up.

“This, baby? This what you’re wantin’?” he breathes against your ear, using both hands on your thighs to hold you up so that he can keep pistoning up into your cunt.

Shaking your head again, you take in the air Bucky is breathing onto your face, getting high off his pheromones. “Want you to – ah – lay on me. Hold me down.”

Bucky growls in your ear. Securing you against his chest, Bucky climbs fully onto the bed without breaking contact, leaving you impaled on his swollen member. The heat radiating off of him has beads of sweat rolling down your back and gathering in your hair. 

He stops at the pillow you dragged down earlier. Spreading his legs wide, he splits you open on his shaft before laying you both down onto the bed. His body crushes you into the comforter, your hips at an angle where they lay on your abandoned pillow so that he’s still able to leverage into you.

Totally ensconced in Bucky’s heat, you can feel every muscle of his as he grinds into you. The pressure of his body on top of yours collapses your lungs, making it hard to breathe. But that’s exactly what you wanted.

Bucky’s long, deep thrusts from your last position turn into short, brutal pumps. Your pussy clings onto his cock so tightly that you don’t think he could pull all the way out even if he tried. His hips beat against your ass, sending jolts to your clit where it grinds against the pillow.

Bucky’s metal grip winds its way up your body and into your hair. He grabs a handful and pulls your head up and around so that he can plant a sloppy kiss against your gasping mouth.

“This is what you were wantin’, ain’t it, sugar?” You nod as much as his hand in your hair will allow. Feeling his whole body working to give you pleasure sends every nerve fiber sizzling down into your core, putting you right on the edge of release.

“Wanted to feel me on you. In you. All over you? Huh?” Bucky’s words are harsh as he pants against your lips between thrusts.

There are no coherent thoughts in your head. You are so close you can taste it, but you need something. Something. Your blissed-out mind can’t think of what it is you finally need to tip over the edge.

But Bucky does.

His metal hand tugs hard on your hair before sliding down underneath you to grab at your throat. What little oxygen you were able to pull in before is now completely cut off, Bucky’s metal fingers dig into the soft flesh and nearly cut off circulation. His human hand snaps down to your clit and rubs harsh circles.

“Come.” He commands.

No sound escapes your mouth as you come hard on Bucky’s cock, spasming around the thick shaft and pulling him deeper into you. The world turns black as you ride wave after wave of pleasure, seeming to fall endlessly into ecstasy. 

When you’ve almost passed out from lack of oxygen, Bucky’s grip loosens just enough to revive you. You breathe in and out harshly, the air leaving your lungs in sharp gusts as Bucky continues to pump into you rapidly. 

“So good for me, baby,” he coos softly in your ear. You babble incoherently as he presses a soft kiss to your temple, breathing in deeply against your hair. “My sweet girl.”

You smile drunkenly at the praise, knowing that if he kept going like this you’d come again soon.

But before you can climb much higher, Bucky raises himself onto his elbows and slides out of you. The slick pop as the head of his cock leaves your tight entrance sends you spiraling at the loss.

“No, no, no, no, no…” you whine, trying to follow with your hips in the hopes that he’ll slide back in.

He laughs at you softly and kisses a trail across your shoulder blades. “Just a second, darlin’. I want to see your face.”

Bucky’s arms slide under your pliant body and flip you over onto your back. He grabs your ankles and plants your feet onto his shoulders so that you’re bent in half. He leans down until your knees are spread wide near your head and his lips are only centimeters away from yours.

If you thought it was hard to breathe before, this position shrinks your rib cage down to nothing, barely allowing for your lungs to expand more than a couple of inches. Bucky uses his metal hand to guide his cock back into your wet heat, setting a slow and languid pace.

His flesh hand comes up to cup your face, bringing you up so that he can kiss you lazily while taking long strokes in and out of your pussy. You huff dizzily into his mouth, trying your hardest to respond to his kisses. You bring your hands up through your legs and slide your fingers into his hair, keeping him close so that you can breathe the same air while he makes love to you.

The slow, gentle lovemaking sends you into a different kind of orgasm – one that starts as a soft fluttering of your walls and slowly morphs into a vice-like grip on his cock. You keen directly into his mouth, unable to pull yourself away from his lips even as you come apart. Bucky licks into your mouth, sucking your tongue and releasing it before nipping at your bottom lip. Picking up the pace, Bucky pumps into you until he reaches his own peak, grinding against you as his balls tighten and his warm seed leaks out of you.

“Bucky…” you breathe into his mouth. Your arms circle around his head and shoulders, pulling him down so that his face is nuzzled into your neck and you can plant soft, almost kisses to his temple.

You feel him grin into your throat and swipe his tongue briefly against your pulse. You giggle softly and tug at his hair. He raises up to look with a small smile on his face, letting your legs fall from his shoulders so that you can take a normal breath. You refuse to lose that much skin-to-skin contact, so you wrap your legs around his hips to keep him from pulling out of you any time soon.

He continues to grin down at you, sweeping a lock of your wet hair from your sweaty face. You smile up at him beatifically, basking in your post-orgasm haze.

He pulls your left arm from around his shoulders with his flesh hand. His eyes trace his gliding fingers as they make their way down your arm until he reaches your hand. He places a small kiss agaisnt the diamond ring sitting on your fourth finger before looking back at you.

“That’ll be us down there before too long,” he says to you, entertwining your fingers together and leaning back down to kiss your lips.

“What?” You question sarcastically. “That’ll be us cock-blocking some heros that saved our lives?”

“No, smartass,” he responds, tugging that same lock of hair from earlier with his metal hand. “It’ll be us not being able to shut up about how much we love each other in front of some heroes that saved our lives.”

“Yeah, well,” he responds slyly, “I’d already gotten you well and truly cock-drunk before Steve and Nat forced us on that ‘mission’.”

“Don’t let anyone on the team hear you say that,” you tell Bucky as you start scratching at his scalp with the hand he’s not currently holding. He closes his eyes and leans back down to rest his head on your chest. “They’re already insufferable since they think they set us up. Don't remind them they've saved our asses a couple of times."

You gasp lightly and playfully smack his head. “Bucky!”

He laughs heartily before he wraps both of his arms around your waist and nuzzles into you further. The movement causes you to feel his shaft begin to swell inside you once again. You wiggle against him and sink down further on his cock. He groans against your sternum as you flex your walls around him. “What, sweetheart? It’s the truth.”

You grab his cheeks with both of your hands and pull his face up to look at you. You pout your lips out in mock offense. “It’s not nice to point it out, though.”

He laughs and gives you a peck on your pouty lips. He rolls you both over until you are laying on top of his chest. His hands fall to your hips again and he looks up at you with mischief in his eyes. “Well, dollface,” he begins. “What can I do to make it up to you?”

You rest your palms on his chest and push yourself up. You grind your hips experimentally and watch as his eyes flash.

“I’m sure we can work something out.”

~•~○~•~○~•~○~•~○~•Fin~•~○~•~○~•~○~•~○~•

Please pay the Troll Toll: likes, reblogs, and comments mean the world to me! I'm always looking to improve my writing (I also like validation, please and thank you)

[em0zombie]

the emperor reversed

Onceler X F!reader

MAIN STORY MASTERLIST

(also posted on Wattpad: @-beachboy !)

1. Fresh Start

It was a quiet ride to truffula forest, "Sorry about my mother back there.." Onceler apologized for his mother's actions. You wanted to smack him in the face for apologizing for his mother's behaviors, but you couldn't do that. His mother never liked you either, maybe she was scared of her son getting all successful and you stealing it- like you'd ever steal anything. "It's fine, Isabella needs to grow up and see that we both hold success in our future!" you place an arm around his, right arm up in the air, "Thneeds and Candyality!" He certainly was glad someone had trust in him. "Yeah, exactly!" Onceler responds and you grab both of yours blueprints from the back to look over them.

...

     "Are we there yet?" You groan while laying in the back. No response, "Oncie- I asked are we there-" siting up straight you see the view that you're in. All of the trees with pink and orange hues sway in the wind, you couldn't believe your eyes. "They're all, something alright..." your crus- friend speaks aloud. "Yeah!" You get out of the wagon and so does he.

     "Good job, Mellie..." you hand the mule a carrot while your friend watches. "Why are you staring at me like that! He needs to be given another treat!" "You're gonna make him gain weight that he doesn't need!" Once yells from the back. You roll your eyes and feed the mule another carrot, he deserves it after having to deal with the two of y'all this whole trip.

...

The house was pulled out and held the two of you perfectly fine, until it came to the bed situation. There was only one.

     "It's fine we can share no big deal!" Once said as you tried to hold in your excitement. "Better than when then the bar-bo-loots tried attacking us..." you mumbled while bringing your luggage inside. "Wait what?" Once yelled out, no response. Sighing, you sit on the bed wishing he was right next to you. God that stupid crush of yours was something dumb, you didn't mean to have it- it just happened? Growing up with the guy you saw how tall he was compared to other kids and how he had a kind heart to...some people?

Outside you can hear Once cutting down a tree which means he's starting to make more thneeds. From one of the windows you can see him dragging the tree, damn was he strong. He turned to see you staring at him, sent a smile your way that you returned back. You got off of the bed and took out your plans for your idea, Candyality.

The idea was basically a candy brand; lollipops, marshmallows, chocolate you name it! Your sweet tooth showed which Onceler would crack a joke about sometimes.

As you're going through your plans you heard bickering outside, Oncie and another man? Standing up you start to see a part of the house falling inward which causes you to scream while running out the door.

...

"What the hell was that?" The Lorax asks, Once almost yells at him again. "That was Y/N!" You hear the two yelling at each other from the back and you walk around to see the commotion.

"That damn wall almost fell onto me! Once, I thought you tied the foundation down-" you're cut off by seeing the short orange figure. "Who's this?" You point in confusion, the figure is appalled by finger pointing. "He calls him self the Lorax, he speaks for the trees." Once mocks. You bend over to see the man, "What an interesting species..." "Why didn't you tell me you had your girlfriend in there! I would never hurt a woman!" Lorax points at you, your eyes in shock. "Woah woah woah!" The two of you say in sync, "We're just friends!" Once states placing a hand on your shoulder. You nodded replying yet the Lorax sees otherwise.

"This man right here tried hammering pipsqueak into the ground!" You look at Once with frowned eyebrows, he doesn't like the sense of judgment coming from you. "Woah woah! You tied him to it!" he defends himself, "I would never hit this little guy! You however, I would gladly pound you and your mustache into the ground!" You couldn't help but giggle, he could never hold his temper. "For shame..." Lorax states, the other animals agree with him. "Look here I'm gonna chop as many trees I need to and you can't stop me!" You realized how bad this may start to get, "And replant them to help the forest stay as it is!" You lean onto Once's side, "Yeah!- what?" He replies.

"Yes! If we cut down trees we have to replant the same amount to keep the balance, and cut only a certain amount each time!" The Lorax becomes skeptical of this idea, but at least he keeps his trees. "I've done research and truffula trees only take 10 years to grow compared to any other tree that takes about 20!" Once is confused, "Are you on his side or mine?" he points to the orange man with his hammer. "Both." you state placing a hand on his shoulder with a mocking smile, you walk over to the Lorax.

"Believe me, I'll help replant them, I can see how much they mean to you." He still seems hesitant, crossing his arms you stand up and drag Once inside to have a talk with him.

...

Closing the door as you're about to have serious discussion with him, he yelps. "Oh what is it now? A spider again- Woah!" You turn around to see Lorax on the desk. "You've left me no choice..." he falls onto the ground, "If you do not replant those trees, all the forces of nature will be released upon you!" Once seems scared yet you're just confused. "You have been warned..." finally ending his monologue. You grab the door to open it for him as he struggled. "You have been warned..." closing it you turned back to Once. "Pound him and his mustache into the ground, really?" He places his hands into the air, "What else was I gonna say?!" You let out a small laugh and go over to the fridge, "What do ya' wanna eat?" You ask leaning and grabbing some stuff out.

...

"It was one tree, Y/N," Once sits down on the bed with his food stuffed mouth, "One tree! Not like I'm gonna cause chaos..." That's what you were most worried about, if it all went down hill. "Don't worry, if I'm by your side nothing will go wrong." Sitting by his side you eat some spaghetti, "And if you help me with my project as well!" Giving him a soft punch on the arm he looks back at you, "I'm glad to have someone like you by my side, you keep all of that hope inside of me..." You chuckle and eat, "Okay no need to get all sappy now..".

___________________________________________

Hi! Sorry if this chapter was pretty short, I'm busy with graduation and college stuff right now so yea 💀 I'll make a new chapter soon!! - Val

[gendercomsumer]

Twisted Wonderland Confessions Part 5!

A/N: We're almost finished with the series! Idk what I'll write for after but I'll figure it out eventually. Also my computer broke in the middle of writing this- so yayyyyy

Warnings: Not proof read, Ooc Sebek, Lilia being a menace /hj (Also not knowing how to write him-),

GN!Reader

Characters: Sebek Zigavolt (773 words), Lilia Vanrouge (509 words), Leona Kingscholar (761 words)

Sebek Zigavolt

You'd meet him during the spell drive tournament (Book 2 w/ savanaclaw) When there was the plan to take Diasmonia out of the running for the whole thing.

It was only a small moment you two saw each other but from first impressions he was loud, and most definitely not afraid of showing his loudness off.

You ran into each other again during school realizing you had more classes with the fae then you first thought.

While Sebek is very loud at times, he's diligent and takes great and very organized notes (Even if they're only in pencil with no indicating colors.)

As a friend Sebek is a bit strange

You'll usually find him doing his own thing or lecturing a student on the topic of respect.

You two would hangout during lunch usually close by Malleus in case he needs Sebek to guard him.

A personal head canon is that he's also a bit suspicious of everyone, not like heavily so but it came naturally with him being a knight.

So he might not fully trust you at first to be able to be at two arms length of Malleus.

I mean at least he's being a good guard am I right?

He will let you borrow his notes if you need to, saying some comment along the lines of, "Ha! Of course a human would need my notes!"

While he can help you in math and science he does struggle in art and the more creative classes.

Help him with those and he'll see it as a favors for favors situation.

I can't really see him easily identifying let alone accepting his feelings for you

He at first thinks he's sick, or if you know magic you've somehow slipped a curse on him

He goes to Lilia for guidance and this old man while he looked composed was cackling on the inside.

Lilia explains that Sebek is most likely falling in love with the human and Sebek seems almost appalled by the suggestion.

Him? A fae? Falling for you some random pathetic human?!

No no that can't be right!

This was one of the only times he started to question Lilias judgment and views on the matter.

After getting the same opinion of Silver as well, and a lot of thought, he comes to the conclusion that maybe, just maybe, he might have a teeny itty bitty crush on you.

That's as much as he was going to admit though.

Lilia what do you mean when will he tell them? He's not!

He tries to act the same but the words of his family stuck to the back of his head.

How passionate you were about things you loved and how you have done so much despite being only a human

at times you could catch his stone face starting to melt into a soft lovesick smile

Maybe that crush wasn't as small as he said it was

But he'd never admit that

Confession wise, either he puts it off for as long as he can or you decide to go up and confront him on his very badly hidden feelings.

So for this let's say you've picked up on his hiding of feelings and decide that now's the best time as any to let him know how you feel

You kept your fingers crossed that he felt the same as Lila led you through their dorm

"Alright third door on the left should be Sebek's, don't get too crazy now kids!"

Lilia left down the stairs with a childish laugh as you went down the hall hearing Sebeks voice through the walls.

It really showed how loud his voice could be considering the dorm was made of stone

Standing outside the door you could easily hear Sebek monologuing to himself about... He was talking about you?

The mention of your name was sudden followed by the names of Lilia and Silver.

"If both master Lilia and Silver say that I've... Fallen for this human, does that mean it's true!? mater Lilia is rarely wrong... But I can't be! They're just a human! A human who makes me feel like I'm in front of the thorn fairy herself at times... No no! How dare I compare the two!!"

He continued and a dust of color was brought to your cheeks to raise a hand to knock on his door hopefully loud enough he'd hear.

There was a long pause before the door was opened by Sebek and at the sight of you his face flushed.

In an uncharacteristically quiet way he asked "Please tell me you didn't hear any of that... Did you?"

Lilia Vanrouge

One day You walk out of your dorm planning to go get some food from Sam's shop since it had been awhile since you went on a grocery run.

It was a beautiful day out with the just right amount of clouds

You take a step out of your house, and Lilia appears seemingly out of thin air hanging upside down from your shade on the porch of your house

Yep that's how you met, him almost scaring the living shit out of you on a random Tuesday morning

What a fun way to start off!

After him almost killing you with that scare he would randomly pop up at times scaring anyone and everyone around you (after awhile you got used to it)

He's a very fun person over all despite what he's been through with the fae war and all

His jokes and lightheartedness are usually welcome lifting any bad mood you may have.

he'll try his best to help in any classes, he's a fucking god in history having lived though most of what they're teaching

And as the feelings start to appear he's a bit taken aback by their sudden appearance.

He's had many lovers in his years but this time the love feels different almost?

It's hard for him to describe, hell it's hard for him to comprehend, but nonetheless he enjoys the soft feeling you give him when you're around

He'd consider a long while on whether or not he would want a relationship with you

You are a human and he will most definitely out live you no matter what the world has in store

It's just the sad truth of having an extremely long life span like his

Once he is sure of this he will start to make more moves on you and attempt to gauge your reaction to them.

Depending on your reaction will depend when he confesses to you, or how much longer he wants to wait to confess.

I can see his confession being one on the more romantic side, but not like not as romantic as Rook.

Most likely he would confess in the middle of a hangout he'd be subtly flirting with you whether you notice or not is most likely up to how dense or oblivious you are

He'd be laying on the couch of the living room possibly (most defiantly) upside down

You'd be talking about some random topic and you look away for moment and suddenly oop there he is floating upside down in front of you.

You jumped and laughed questioning Lilia what he was doing

He stayed silent for a moment staring at you in a manner some would consider creepy before letting out a small laugh.

You asked what was so funny in a bit of a cautious manner and Lilia smiled at you "I've had plenty of lovers... but none were a stunning nor did they make me feel as strange as you do... so tell me, will you help me explore what makes you the one..?"

Leona Kingscholar

After the events, to say the least, of book two he's very salty about everything for at least a week

Eventually and inevitably the two of you need to work together (Either during or before book 3)

Or Ruggie some how convinced you to help him out with the lazy Lion

And either way hey it worked!

Most of the time Leona is either bored, sleeping, or secret option number 3! bored and wanting to sleep...

He's an interesting character to get along with and once you do it's a different side you see other than the one that's just a lazy ion that Ruggie and the other students need to deal with

You learn very quickly that he's very smart and knows most of what the teachers are teaching.

He just normally doesn't have the energy or the want to participate in classes.

Which in my opinion fair my dude

But because he's really book smart if you ask and he's in a good mood he would "dumb down the lesson" in reality he's reteaching it just in a way that's easier to understand.

He sleeps a lot so he knows how important it is to get enough of said sleep.

So if you're close (good friends and such) if he sees you start to drift off during class or fall asleep, he'll cover for you but will scold you that that's not a proper place to take a nap

He then proceeds to take a nap in potion class with Rook in the room. What was that about proper nap locations Leona?

But either than that he's a bit sassy at times and can joke around, hell he calls you Herbivore all the time, that should be evidence enough.

One time you had fallen asleep under a tree (Silver kinnie energy-) and Leona found you

He ended up staying with you and skipping class to take a nap of his own and that's when his feelings for you start to fully come into light.

When he saw you sleeping there, there was a small part of him who wanted to stay with you and protect you, silly right?

Now Leona's well versed in emotions. He'd seen how his brother acted around his now sister in law and here they were now with the menace of a child Cheeka.

So once these feelings start to become stronger and more prominent it starts to reflect in his behavior

I am an avid believer in the beast men/ mermen are possessive change my mind (warning you can't)

He'd start to stay around you a lot more than normal and once Ruggie joked that you had cat nip in your pocket and Leona was following you because of it.

Leona makes sure you get enough sleep a day. Didn't get 8 hours at least last night, whelp hopefully nothing important is happening in Crewels class cause you're skipping to take a nap!

He also makes sure you're eating right and not burying yourself in your work (I'm looking at you Crowley)

He also gets protective over you and if people look at you the wrong way they will have a lion glaring them down.

As for confessions I can see him being pretty nonchalant about it.

One day you had been studying in your room since you needed help in History.

Leona went to go get something and you decided to ley your head down on your bed to see if you could catch some quick rest

Leona returned sometime later and looked at you confused

you were still awake but you didn't want to bother to open your eyes as you were in a comfortable position and sleep sounded like a very nice idea at the moment

"Oi, Herbivore, are you asleep?" You stayed quiet and still as Leona looked over your face and gave a mischievous smile.

"Well isn't that adorable.. and here I thought I was the lazy one.." He gently brushed some hair out of your face and placed a feather light kiss to your temple

"It was your idea to study and you're the one to fall asleep.." You could feel the color come to your face as Leona sat at the end of the bed watching you

You eventually sat up and Leona laughed seeing the red color across your face "Thought so I wouldn't think you'd fall asleep that quickly, so tell me Herbivore.." Leona leaned closer to you with a smug smile

"you do know it's dangerous to fall asleep around a lion, don't you?"