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#and never any time or energy to try to get back into hobbies
curly-cottage-girl · 8 months
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I feel like I’m losing the battle of treading water and am just starting to drown in exhaustion now
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gallierhouse · 3 months
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“is armand a coward?” “is he insane?” “is he smart or stupid?” “is he honest?” IS HE BORING THO? the only question is he boring?????
I know you’re being silly, but I have actually written about this before. Multiple times, actually. But my organizational system is so bad I have no idea where any of those posts are. It’ll be in the tag somewhere if you want to look. I’ll sum it up here, though.
Armand both is and isn’t boring. In a vacuum, he’s an interesting person. He’s 500 years old and he’s got no hobbies to speak of besides gardening and torture. He’s got a penchant for v-necks. He led a cult and burnt people alive and then he led another cult and had them murder people on stage every night for a hundred years. He used to wander museums at night. He has a large collection of sunglasses. He’s been following a painting of him paid for with his body for 500 years but he never took it home or destroyed it. He’s surprisingly adept at real estate for someone who lived an ascetic lifestyle for 200 years. He’s got neat handwriting. He doesn’t have a real accent. He’s numbered his memories chronologically. So all that’s interesting. Even if he were actually a soft, beige pillow, he’d still be interesting by virtue of having lived five centuries. But Louis finds him boring because Armand’s always trying to please him. Armand has an idea of what Louis wants (“not Lestat”), so everything he does is designed to not be Lestat, and to fulfill the submissive role in their D/S relationship. By being who he thinks Louis wants him to be, he makes himself boring. He’s not actually boring, but Louis only ever gets to see the boring version of him, because it’s all he’ll ever show Louis. He’s always modulating his behavior to meet the expectations of the people he wants approval from, which makes him boring to that person. It’s boring if someone only ever does what you want and what you say. “You can pick what we have for dinner, I don’t mind” every night for 77 years. It’s boring!
Armand’s not boring. He’s just backed himself into a corner that makes everyone he wants approval or attention from see him as boring. It’s a silly problem to have. Louis would probably be more attracted to him if he showed the side of himself he shows to Lestat. But Armand’s so devoted to pretending to be a civilized, well-adjusted person who isn’t violent and isn’t unstable and isn’t selfish and isn’t anything like Lestat, and isn’t anything besides stable and safe and patient and kind and loving, that he’s filed off his own edge. You can see him compartmentalize it. He hunts alone. He leaves the penthouse. That’s something he does for himself. The only time he allows himself to be whoever he really is without the expectation of someone else, and it’s out of sight for both the viewer and Louis. He declaws himself for the sake of others, and he’s naturally hurt when people say things like, “Where are your claws? Why don’t you have claws? You’re boring!” It’s a mean thing to say to someone who spends all their time and energy attempting to be interesting to you, even if their method is self-defeating and stupid. I think Armand might think of himself as boring, though. But his metric for what’s normal and abnormal is so far removed from any conceivable standard of normalcy it’s not really a valid opinion to hold. He’s silly, okay?
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headspace-hotel · 6 months
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kinda feeling like my stamina took a permanent hit back during the Bad Time. when I first dropped out i was so exhausted it's hard to even explain how difficult it was to do anything. like I didn't even have the energy to talk to my family, i only left my room to eat and go to the bathroom. and this went on for MONTHS.
2022-early 2023 was the happiest time of my life and the time when I knew myself the best and was doing the most good for humanity and the world. and I was unemployed, not in school, and living off my parents lol.
my menstrual cycle was regular for almost a year during this time, something that had never happened before
and now i'm back in school and working trying to prepare for my future but i'm just such an empty husk I don't have the ability to navigate my path any further ahead than the next few steps. is this the major i want to be in? I don't know. Do I want to do an internship? I don't know. I haven't gotten to know any new people outside of work. I haven't gone to any event I wasn't forced to go to. I don't socialize, I don't have non-work-related hobbies, I don't read books, I don't do anything creative/artistic. I barely even play minecraft or work with spinning my plant fibers anymore.
I'm a significantly worse student than I was when I started college. Last semester was hell but I honestly had more energy, this semester I'm burning out so hard and whenever I get some spare energy to reflect on my life I just feel so hollow
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yuri-is-online · 5 months
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I’d like to hear a little about Idia’s Yutu. I bet he was pretty startled to see his hair suddenly catch fire + any other physical changes associated with the curse. (Do you think the yellow eyes and shark teeth are even caused by the curse?)
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Idia is a popular boy and I have a lot of thoughts about him in general; I feel like I gave him a lot to deal with in this particular au... Jade is probably having a worse time mentally but Idia has a bunch of work I know he wasn't asking for.
As for the talk about the curse, I kicked it around in my head a bit and I am going to say yes the teeth are caused by it but the eyes are just something Idia got from his parents. I know I talk about thinking there is something wrong with Trey, but I don't think that's because of a curse and his eyes are definitely yellow. Idia's do seem to glow a bit so if you want your Yutu to have different colored eyes I think it would make sense if they had a bit of a glow to them, but that's just me.
notes: they/them used for Yuu, for context on the fyuuture kid au can be found here and here. For this post, I would recommend reading this explanation of what happened to the boys as Idia has a pretty big role in the bad timeline, and his actions will be somewhat referenced here.
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Idia has the benefit and the literal curse of being in charge of S.T.Y.X., meaning that when blot investigations are conducted he tends to be in the know. His Yuu and Yutu should have been safe from anything the Marshall's decided to do but they weren't. Unlike pretty much everyone else in this AU, Idia learns what happened to his family. He knows that Yuu was cursed, he knows they were sent back to their world. But that's about it, he tries to find some sort of way to make contact with your world so he can bring you home but then things go to shit and his progress is severely delayed. By the time he has to help bury Leona it's stopped completely. Ortho tries his best to help, but Idia doesn't really want him to. As much as he wants to see you again, he doesn't want you to have to suffer through any overblots again, nor does he want to raise a child in a dying world.
Sometimes when he is alone, energy drinks scattered around his desk he'll look over to the little digital photo frame he loaded up with pictures of you, from back at NRC all the way up to your wedding and wonders if he should just let you go. There's a chance you being forced to forget about him means you would have moved on, maybe met someone else and had other kids. Was his kid anything like him? He hopes they ended up looking mostly like you, and knowing there is no way for the Shroud curse to reach them does make it slightly easier to sleep at night. He tells himself when he comes back to work tomorrow, he'll put the frame in a drawer along with his wedding ring but he never does. In his mind, he is still your husband, just waiting for fall to come so you can try to be together again. Fall might be another life, but Idia surprisingly doesn't mind. He can wait for you.
Idia! Yutu was a massive crybaby when he was a baby. Very clingy to Yuu and very afraid of his own shadow let alone his teachers and peers. He grows out of the crying as he gets older but not the social anxiety. Yutu wants friends, he just sucks at making them and is extremely stressed out by being around people. I could see Yuu maybe getting an animal of some sort to help with the stress and anxiety their son was feeling. And just by typing that I have become attached to the concept: Ida! Yutu gets a dog Yuu feels inclined to name Cerberus. Yutu adores her and takes very good care of her without any fights about his chores.
Yuu remembers Idia as being more of a cat person, but they tell Yutu they think he really would have approved of Cerb. They remember him as being a socially awkward, but extremely passionate about his work and hobbies. His love of retro games causes a lot of Yuu's cursed pains, they know he liked those sorts of games but they can't for the life of them remember the titles. Yutu tries to reassure his parent it's just nice knowing a little bit about his dad and that he doesn't need the specifics. Hearing about his dad's interests motivates him to learn about emulators as he gets older, and he builds Yuu a nice family computer after scrounging for parts.
Yutu prefers single player or local co-op games, but makes an exception if Yuu has a long term MMO or something like a genshin account because he does like playing with Yuu. It helps soothe his social anxiety to talk to people while he knows his parent and Cerberus are near by, but when they aren't online he's essentially a solo gamer.
Unfortunately for Yutu's potential inner gremlin, Yuu also remembers Idia's shut in tendencies and is determined to get him outside from a very young age. Cerb does her best to help with that too, it's Yutu's job to walk her and he swears she keeps trying to introduce him to people. He's had so many awkward conversations with the people in his neighborhood because of her. His other chore used to be helping out in the little vegetable garden Yuu started to help cut down grocery costs, but that quickly ceased being a chore and became a full blown passion.
Idia! Yutu loves flowers. He fills his windowsills with plants that are safe to be around dogs and has Cerberus help him dig a flower bed around your home so he can plant more of them. Sure the veg garden is nice too, but he loves the significance of and variety that can be found in flowers. If you live in a place that can keep bees then he will absolutely bug you about wanting to get some.
Twisted Wonderland looks horrible to Yutu. It's dark and cold, he's been snapped into a room full of people in a place he doesn't recognize, and his parent has gone non responsive as he tries desperately to shake them awake. He tries snapping at the fancy looking man that comes to help and accidentally bites his tongue, and that's when he notices it.
Mostly because Cerberus tackles him and tries to put him out.
"Owowowowowowowwww-" Yutu tries to push Cerberus back but she keeps whining and trying to lick at his face. She yelps as Yutu catches his breath as he sees what she's trying to paw at. His hair is on fire, or to be more accurate his hair is fire. He can hold it, he can tug at it, it's warm and is not burning his clothes but his hair is on fucking fire-
"STAY." The voice is so commanding that both Cerb and Yutu freeze, the strange man from before with his dual colored hair looks oddly nostalgic at his little command, eyes obviously softening at the dog as he shakes his head. "Good girl, no need to worry. Your little master is ok, he isn't going to combust." Cerberus whines, but she relaxes and Yutu stands shakily. "Though full warning you might feel like you are once I am done explaining things to you."
Idia and Ortho are called to NRC for an emergency and debriefed on their way over. Yuu holds on to life just long enough to speak with Idia a little, the first time Yutu meets his dad the two of them are saying goodbye to a now comatose Yuu. The silence is awkward, but the hold Idia has on Yutu isn't. I like to think that Idia and Yuu had talked about what they would have wanted to name Yutu, and that memory had carried across the world so there was no awkward introduction phase between the two of them. The sort of fall into each others lives immediately, the want for the other to exist overriding anything else.
Cerberus helps too. Idia might be more of a cat person but cute doggies are good too. ESPECIALLY one with such an awesome name, she's the most spoiled girl in the entire apocalypse. She's an old dog at this point, so Idia takes her back to S.T.Y.X. where she becomes a sort of unofficial mascot for the research teams. Idia makes her a uniform and everything. He regularly sends pictures to Yutu while he's busy at school.
Because of Yutu's love of gardening trumping his interest in technology, he ends up in Heartslabyul instead of Ignihyde. He is very embarrassed about this at first (he really hates the uniform) but Idia reassures him that he doesn't care about that. His kid could probably kill someone in front of him and he would not care, especially not at this point. So long as he is able to talk to his child about manga and games he doesn't care what extra circulars they're into. I can't see him being super excited about having to go to sports games, but then again maybe he would just think about it like a sports anime to help psych himself up to go (his kid would obviously be his favorite character).
Bad timeline Idia is a lot calmer than his younger self. He still loses his temper and goes on smug rants, but in general he speaks exactly like he does in book six to the S.T.Y.X. employees. His true personality only really comes out when he's alone with Ortho and Yutu, but he tries to keep his more pessimistic side in check. He wants Yutu to have some hope for the future, but the more he runs the numbers the bleaker things look.
Ortho is beyond excited to have his nephew back. He always liked hanging out with Yuu because of the lack of data he had about them. Every conversation he had with them was unique, and he was really looking forward to having the same experience with Yutu. He was just as if not more distraught than Idia when you both disappeared, so having Yutu back brings a bit more spark to his soul. Yutu was so stressed out from all of the changes he was experiencing that meeting Orhto felt weirdly normal. What's weirder: having an artificial humanoid for an uncle, technically being part alien, having fire for hair, or having a spell that literally opens the gates of hell. Yutu is not taking option one that's for sure.
Ortho and Idia are the ones who propose going back in time, but when it's their Yutu who is making the journey the suggestion is extremely difficult to make. Idia doesn't like the idea of asking his son to do this, it feels selfish. But then, Idia also feels like bringing him into existence before he could break the family curse was selfish, no matter what Yutu was always going to be doomed. But that just means he should be the one taking responsibility for this... Ortho volunteers himself for the mission but Yutu points out that that would probably be even more dangerous than sending him. It's a tearful goodbye, everyone knows that if the missions succeeds this timeline will cease to exist and they will never get to see each other again. They have a little party at NRC and Idia takes Yutu aside to visit Yuu's grave, firstly so they can say goodbye and secondly because he has a confession to make
"I was mega cringe when I was at NRC." His dad can't even look him in the eyes, and Yutu swears he sees him shaking. He has to blink a few times to make sure he is seeing things right, this doesn't look like overworked dad, or stressed dad, or angry at something mundane dad. If he didn't know any better, he'd say he was-
"Well isn't everybody?" The tips of Idia's hair turn pink at the question and Yutu's quickly mirrors him from feeling like he's done something wrong. All he's done is repeat his dad's own advice back to him though. "You're always so cool and confident-" Idia wheezes and Yutu almost has to catch him. "I mean I'm sure you can't be bad as me-"
"Oh you are going to regret saying that." His dad can't really bring himself to elaborate further but the thousand yard stare does all the talking for him.
Idia! Yutu was given three very simple instructions by Uncle Ortho about going back in time:
1) don't try to lie to me about who you are, I will run scans and figure it out. Grandma and Grandpa finding out would probably be bad and just complicate things. Easy enough, having Uncle Ortho on his side makes the transition between future and past a lot easier. Current Ortho might be a lot more innocent? Naive? He isn't sure if those are the words he would use, but he is certainly less used to having a soul and being his own person than his Uncle is. Not that this makes him any less accepting of Yutu... if anything he is even more excited about him than he was in the future.
2) try to keep who you are a secret from Yuu, but get close to them. We need them to stay alive, even if we don't know why yet... Less easy than hanging out with Uncle Ortho, but still easy enough. I tend to write all Yutus as not fully realizing how much they missed or loved Yuu until they got to see the younger version of their parent... but out of all of them Idia! Yutu is certainly up there for just how hard it hits him. Mostly because of Rule 3:
3) I am so fucking sorry for what you're going to have to deal with please be patient with me!!! I promise I love you and your parent so much I'm just not going to know-
So that obviously came from Idia and not Ortho, but Yutu really disregarded that warning until he accidentally ran into his dad while trying to find Ortho and saw him take out a tablet? That he used to talk with and got very panicky about when he asked a very simple question about it. Uncle Ortho helpfully tells him later that Idia uses it to help him speak in public because of his anxiety, and is very pleased to learn Yutu has never seen him use it in the future. But that doesn't really change how things are now...
On the one hand, Yutu gets it. He has bad social anxiety himself, but because he had a very supportive parent who worked with him to challenge himself in healthy ways he never got to the point that Idia is. He also was a lot older when he had his first experience with a traumatic loss and had Idia (who is a bit too experienced) and Ortho (who is just so understanding) there to help him through it. He knew that was not the case for his dad, they talked about it a lot in the future because Idia felt like he had a right to know, but I don't think he fully comprehended how bad Idia's mental health was.
Because no matter how much he might get it, this guy is still his dad and Yutu really wants to interact with him. He wants to impress him and maybe finally beat his high score on Star Rogue, Yutu just knows there are a bunch of stories he never got to hear because his dad was too embarrassed to tell him and this is maybe his one chance to find all of them out. But his dad is such a shut in he barely even interacts with Yuu! Yutu was always way too embarrassed to ask him about how they got together and now he swears he'll never know because him being in Ramshackle seems to have scared his dad off.
That's only half true, Idia doesn't really see Yutu as a romantic rival... like Cater he assumes you are related in some way because of the similar appearances and tastes in manga. Even when the two of you deny it he shrugs it off, hey maybe Yutu is just you from a different reality? He thinks he read a manga like that once... either way not his monkey not his circus. But like. It could be, Ortho really does like to remind him that Yuu is much less judgemental than everyone else on campus so if he wanted to make some progress on his journey of self improvement talking to them might not be such a bad idea. wink wink nudge nudge! But going over there still means he has to interact with someone other than Yuu and Mr. Grim and that's stressful.
He doesn't think about it at all when Yutu keeps finding excuses to not be there when Ortho drags him to visit because of how relieved he is to not have to socialize with him, at first anyway. He notices when Ortho excuses himself too, they certainly seem to be buddy buddy which isn't something he's going to complain about but as Idia does get closer to Yuu and *ugh* admits to himself he's got some feelings he starts to feel like he should at least know something about the kid other than his name. He does not completely figure it out, but he notices all of the relevant data points before he's slapped in the face with who Yutu is.
Like Lilia! Yutu's reveal, I think Idia finds out about who Yutu is in the middle of a fight. Yuu gets injured by a really strange blot phatom Idia has never seen before and Yutu absolutely looses it. His hair flares up and for snaps his hood to cinders as he's roaring out spells and trying desperately to make sure that thing doesn't touch his parents. Something you both hear loud and clear.
At first this makes Idia beyond excited. He probably joins the little fit his son is throwing except in raw joy because he's fantasized so much about this! He even has a little sims save where Yuu and him are married and they've got a kid and a cat and wow just look at Yutu he looks even cooler in real life than he does in a life sim! Yuu look at him, you guys have a-
A kid. You have a kid. With him. One that's got his teeth and hair and your nose and is sobbing in his arms about how much he missed you both and doesn't want to watch you die again. The sheer worry eclipses his second hand embarrassment at his own smugness as he awkwardly holds on to the sobbing Yutu and looks towards you for help. He's never been good at this whole emotional comfort thing, pls assist. So you pick yourself up and join the group hug and all three of you just sort of sit there for a bit while Yutu tells his story. About growing up in your world, how he came to NRC and his friends in Heartslabyul (Idia is blaming that on you, as a joke ofc he doesn't care what house his kid is in), and the plan to go back in time because of how hopeless the future is. It's not a story Idia takes lightly, especially when Ortho confirms it and sends him all of the data he and Yutu have collected so far. Idia is a bit gloomy and prone to complaining, but if you are in a bad place there are few people more reliable. He is a lot like death in a way, he'll always be there in the end.
Idia is a bit awkward around Yuu for a bit after the reveal, I like to think of you as being newly together at this point so Idia hasn't really revealed just how... detailed some of his fantasies about you are just yet. There are a lot of them, he has uh. Maybe written some of them down, pleasedon'tmakehimreadthemoutloud and most of them are perfectly normal and respectable (lies). It stops when you tell him Yutu had to come from somewhere and he dies, buries himself under his covers, and rises again a changed man. Yeah that's right, his kid did come from somewhere NORMIES. He had se-
He's not super big into PDA but he is comfortable being clingy around Yutu and Ortho, though he tries not to be overly cheesy around Yutu. He hates seeing his parents be all lovey dovey with one another and he likes to keep his compliments quiet and for your ears only anyway. I do like the idea of Yuu being a tiny bit more outgoing and embarrassing him a bit around "the kids" (Grim and Yutu) so his hair is in a damn near permanent shade of pink any time he's around Ramshackle. It's one thing to have your younger brother think the world of you, but to have a kid think so highly of you that he travels back in time to save you from an apocalypse? Idia feels super unworthy, it fuels his determination to work out the "problem" Yutu has given him even if his natural pessimism makes him want to give up.
"... Just leave it to your dad." It's an echo of the only other promise he 100% intends to live up to. He really does mean it, Idia is not loosing this match. Just you wait and see...
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dyns33 · 8 months
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The way to communicate
Being a while since I did a Din Djarin x female reader.
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It was rare for Din Djarin to get angry.
It's hard to say if it was because of his creed or if it was in his temperament, but he did his best to always keep his cool.
Becoming the father of a little green gremlin who had a hobby of getting into mischief probably forced him to be even more patient than he was before finding the kid, or meeting Y/N.
Even when the little one put himself in danger, Din didn't scream. Maybe he knew it wouldn't have any effect on Grogu, but he gently picked him up, using an equally gentle voice to scold him.
“I already told you not to do that.” he often sighed, patting the child's head. "You know you risk choking if you swallow a whole frog. Especially since you've already had two meals, you're not hungry."
“Gah !”
"No."
Y/N watched the scene with sparkling eyes and trying to hide her smile, because a great Mandalorian warrior, no matter how patient, probably wouldn't like to be thought of as adorable. He was supposed to be scary and awesome.
When he was with Grogu, Din Djarin wasn't scary at all. He didn't scream when the little one drew on the walls, or hid in a corner, or played with the buttons. Never.
Of course, it wasn't the same with enemies or bounties. He didn't like killing, he would avoid it if possible, but he had no problem accomplishing his mission without the slightest remorse. It was the Way.
Honor, strength, and protection of his clan were his priorities. As he was patient, Din was discreet. A man of few words, preferring actions.
Because of this, Y/N wasn’t sure where she stood in relation to his family. After she helped him find a former Empire general, while risking her life to protect his son, they had stayed together.
At first, Din had considered himself indebted to her. Then, he offered her a job, seeing that she took good care of Grogu when he was absent and that she had some knowledge of mechanics, very useful when the ship had some problems.
But could she consider herself a member of the clan ? Y/N wasn’t sure.
It would have been easy to ask the Mandalorian directly. He would then have clearly answered whether he saw her as a member, or as just a flying partner who took care of his child.
Asking the question directly meant taking the risk of having to face reality and accept the possibility that she wasn't as important to Din as he and Grogu were to her.
She therefore preferred to say nothing and take advantage of the time offered to her with them, experiencing many adventures, as well as wonderful moments.
Until the announcement.
"There are no new contracts at the moment and Grogu needs some rest, so we'll head back home to Nevarro."
"Oh. Okay. I'll probably go to Coruscant then. You can contact me if necessary." Y/N said without looking at him, continuing to play with the kid.
"… I'll drop you off."
The silence in the ship grew colder than calm as they headed toward Coruscant.
Rather than wait to get there, Din decreed that it was necessary to make several stops to buy supplies, check that they had enough energy, that the engine had no problems, and lots of small details that wasted their time unnecessarily.
"We could do all of this on Coruscant. It's not that far."
“I don’t want to take a risk.”
"But we checked everything before the last mission and…"
“I said we were stopping for water !” the Mandalorian then repeated with a loud voice and violently placing his hands on the dashboard.
This made Y/N jump, but also Grogu, who stared at his father with wide eyes, full of surprise and fear. Visibly ashamed of his reaction, Din sighed before muttering that he needed to cool off, leaving them alone in the cockpit.
Things didn't get better when they arrived in Mos Eisley. Not really wanting to stay idle, Y/N took advantage of the little one's nap to go for a walk in the market, while Din chatted with Peli.
She didn't want to go to Coruscant at all and all these stops might have been a blessing, but like with a bandage, she knew it would be better to leave right away rather than torture herself like this.
It was normal that the clan wanted to go home to rest. It was normal that she wasn't invited since she wasn't part of the clan.
What was less normal was Din's behavior, who seemed to avoid her as much as possible and be tense whenever they were in the same room. He had no reason to be angry with her, who continued to work normally despite her sadness.
The situation was also complicated for Grogu, who felt that something was wrong between the two adults. The poor kid ate less, sticking to Y/N every chance he got. It was almost impossible to get him off.
So Y/N wanted to take advantage of this little moment alone to get out of the ship and clear her head.
She didn't expect to be caught by bounty hunters who had spotted the Mandalorian's arrival. Despite Moff Gideon's death, there were still some people who wanted Din Djarin's head.
Since he was training Grogu to be a fighter, Din had also shown her some techniques, so she could defend herself if needed. Although he always added that it wouldn't be necessary, since he would be there to protect her.
Fighting a nice Mandalorian who held back his punches was one thing. Trying to do the same thing with three guys who didn't care about hurting her was something else.
Fortunately for Y/N, when she had just taken a blow to the nose which had made her fall to the ground and the leader of the gang approached to pick her up, Din arrived at that moment, quickly shooting the brigands without missing a target.
He then ran to pick Y/N up and take her back to the ship to tend to her injuries. Wanting to help when he saw her bleeding, the kid used his powers before his father had time to grab the first aid kit.
The panic subsided, a long silence returned, only broken by the little noises of Grogu asking to be carried by Y/N. But when she moved to lean towards him, the Mandalorian spoke.
"What possessed you to leave alone ? Without a word, without saying where you were going ? You were lucky that I noticed your absence and went looking for you."
"I didn't think I needed permission. And I didn't ask to be attacked."
"That's not what I said. But you could have gotten kidnapped ! You could have died ! Why didn't you tell me you were leaving ?! I thought… I thought that you left us. That you had gone to find another means of transportation to Coruscant."
“Why would I do that, since you’re taking me there ?”
“Don’t pretend to be stupid !” Din then shouted, pointing at her, almost scaring her.
The gesture probably scared Grogu more than her, who knew he was going to do nothing but scream like an idiot, but something happened that they would have thought impossible.
With his powers, the child pushed his father against the wall of the ship, as far away from Y/N as possible, then he jumped on her knees, clinging to her while moaning in fear.
The two adults remained frozen. Even though she couldn't see his face, Y/N could guess Din's shocked and hurt look, who understood that his son had thought he was capable of hurting the one he seemed to consider his mother. He saw fear in Grogu's eyes.
"No, I… I shouldn't have shouted." he whispered as he sat on the ground, lowering his head in shame. "Sorry."
"It's okay. I know you weren't going to do anything."
“Obviously he doesn’t know.”
“He doesn’t like shouting.” Y/N said, stroking Grogu’s head to comfort him. "He doesn't like arguments. We should go to Coruscant quickly, it would be better for everyone."
“You really want to leave us so quickly ?”
Din's voice almost broke at the end of his sentence. Y/n stared at him, but he didn't raise his head to look back at her, thus not seeing that she didn't understand his question.
"… You're the one who wants me to leave. So you can return to your home to Nevarro."
"… I meant our home. Grogu, you and me. I thought… I thought you understood, Cyare, but you rejected the invitation. I thought I misunderstood and that you didn't want to to be part of our clan."
“You mean… I’m part of the clan ?”
"Of course." the Mandalorian whispered, finally looking at her. "Mesh'la, we have traveled together for so long. We fight together. We raise Grogu together. I know our customs are different, and we haven't taken our vows yet, but…"
"Our vows ?!"
"… Yes. I've been courting you for a while. You accepted the gifts. You train with me. You let me kiss you. I didn't think it wasn't clear. Forgive me, cyare, I shouldn't have had any illusions."
Words were less important than actions to the Mandalorians, even if they had certain songs and rites. Y/N totally didn't understand that receiving a weapon and touching the helmet with your forehead had special meanings, and Din hadn't told her that.
In his corner, Grogu had only understood that his parents loved each other, because that was obvious, and they just needed to be together to be happy. The rest didn't matter.
All it would have taken was for Din to take them back to Nevarro without opening his mouth, and Y/N would have been surprised but delighted to be welcomed into their little home. Instead, he had tried to communicate, and it had been a disaster.
Now the son was afraid, trembling against Y/N who was processing the fact that Din had been thinking about marrying her for some time, until he realized that he had done everything wrong.
He had yelled at his clan, even if it was because he was afraid of losing Y/N. He hadn't known how to protect them properly. He was covered with shame.
"I don't want to go to Coruscant."
Since he didn't move, too busy determining if he had poked his head by being thrown by the Force, Y/N slowly got up, keeping Grogu close to her, to join him on the ground.
"I was disappointed that you didn't ask me to come. It wasn't clear to me that I was part of the clan, but it was my dearest wish. To stay with you and the little one. If you still want of me…"
“Cyare !” Din sighed, taking her hand. “Nothing would make me happier.”
“Bah ga ba !”
Grogu stirred then, patting his father's hand insistently so that he let go of Y/N's, his large eyes piercing the Mandalorian's berskar.
"... I have already apologized."
“Pato !”
"… I'm sorry for scaring you, and for yelling at Y/N. I won't do it again. I will never hurt any of you. And I'll make sure there are no misunderstandings before drawing conclusions."
“Aaaaaaaah.” was Grogu's response, who smiled again, holding out his arms to be picked up by Din, who complied without hesitation.
This made his parents laugh. They hadn't laughed in a long time.
The ship's coordinates were changed to go directly to Nevarro. No need to make any more unnecessary detours, since all the stops they had made so far were useless. Din was only trying to buy time, not knowing how to get Y/N to stay.
“So, you talked about vows ?” she said shyly as they landed, the kid sleeping on top of her.
"Later, Mesh'la. My request wasn't very romantic."
“Mandalorians worry about romance ?”
"No. But I imagine it will please you."
Y/N could have said she didn’t need all this. Knowing that he saw her as a member of his clan, as the mother of his son, was enough. But she didn't want another misunderstanding that might hurt Din, and she would be happy to be his wife, so she just nodded.
There was no more arguing, no more shouting. Not even when Grogu swallowed the ring that Din had the Armorer make. He simply sat down in a corner, grunting while tapping his helmet, while the little one hiccupped, regretting having eaten the little shiny circle.
“We can get it back in a few days.”
"No."
“We’ll clean it up.”
"Cyare, there's no way I'm giving you a gift that was eaten by the kid and which passed… Hmm !"
Luckily, the ring was spat out, but it took a while for Din to agree to take it back, and then officially offer it to Y/N. He insisted on going to Mandalore to purify it in the waters, while announcing to his peers that he would soon have a riduur.
He didn't bring Y/N and Grogu with him on this trip. The little one was too tired, and someone had to watch over him.
“Karga could have kept him.” Y/N remarked when Din had returned.
"He would have ended up losing his mind after Grogu destroyed everything in his office. I don't think the kid would have liked to be left alone either. Besides…"
"What ?"
"You are beautiful, Mesh'la. Some Mandalorians might have wanted to take you. I would have had to fight and kill them to prove that you are mine. I preferred to avoid that."
It sounded ridiculous, but he said it very seriously, his tone quickly becoming dry and somber.
Din Djarin did not often get angry, except when it concerned the protection of his clan, when someone tried to hurt them or take them from him. He hid his anger and jealousy beneath his armor, but it was there, ready to come out against those who had the audacity to confront him.
But never against Y/N and Grogu. Only for them.
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Text
February 1
rating: G cw: none prompt: Love is letting someone take care of you
It wasn't a lesson Eddie learned easily, or all that willingly. No one had cared for him after his Mama had died. Not for a long time after.
He dad likes to pretend he'd tried. When Eddie was feeling generous, he'd even say he agreed. His parents were so in love it was almost sickening. Losing her must have broken the part of his Dad that knew how to love fully. He didn't turn mean, not like some dads did, but he definitely cared more about his next scheme than he did about the kid that looked too much like his Mama.
Wayne taught him that people who care about you take care of you. They take care of you when you're barely nine and have burned yourself on the stove twice this week, even if you think you should have learned after the first time. They take care of you when you've been caught stealing candy from Melvald's, and skipping school, and flunking senior year (and then doing that again), and even when people accuse you of murder.
Wayne has taught him that people that really, really love you are there when you need them, care for you when you need them.
And Eddie's heart aches that no one seems to have taught Steve that.
Eddie's trying. He steps in to help with "babysitting" duties, especially when Steve looks particularly run down. He started inserting himself into the Platonic Soulmate thing Steve and Robin have going because he wants to be an established replacement Temporary Soulmate while Robin's at college. (Being fair, this was Robin's suggestion. She's worried about how he'll be when she's not around to look after him.)
He's started hanging out with Steve without Robin, too. They get along well, it turns out. Eddie loves to talk and Steve loves to listen. But, more importantly, Eddie's good at getting Steve to talk. As a rule in general, Eddie isn't a good listener, but he could listen to Steve read him the phone book and never be bored. He tries to take an interest in Steve's hobbies. He doesn't have the hand/eye coordination for basketball, or the lungs for swimming laps, but he does have the energy to keep going even when he's bad at those things.
Steve seems to appreciate it, if the soft smiles he gives Eddie is any indication.
And it's not all up hill. Steve's got hangups that seem to crop up when he thinks he's failed at something. He's got a quick temper but it's never physical anger. He's only ever yelled at Eddie twice, and being fair, that first was deserved. Eddie's pushed too far, in his desire to help, not knowing the limit yet.
Eddie gets pissy, too, he's no saint, either.
There's been no fight they haven't gotten through, though.
But the lesson, the thing Wayne was really trying to teach him, comes when Steve gets sick.
No one but Robin has ever seen him sick. She's off at college now and it's just Eddie, fumbling to make soup and not dribble water down Steve's front while he holds the glass Steve is too weak to and Eddie forgot to get some straws at the store.
Steve tried to get him to leave only once. It was the third day in a row Eddie was there.
"You don't have to be here, you know," Steve had whispered, throat still feeling like he ate glass.
Eddie just met his eye and gave a small smile, "I do know."
Steve looks surprised, which is ridiculous, because he had to of known the answer Eddie would give. But then that surprise softens to a new look. Sappier, eyes a bit wetter, and Steve must not want him to see because his whole face scrunches with how quickly he shuts his eyes.
Eddie sets the sleeve of saltines down on the night stand and reached for Steve's hand. Just to give it a squeeze.
He finds he can't take his hand back when Steve tangles their fingers together and drags their joined hands to his face, where Steve rests his feverish forehead against Eddie's hand.
Steve teaches him that, yes, love is caring for someone. But sometimes, it's also letting someone else take care of you.
-
@steddielovemonth @i-less-than-three-you @nburkhardt @afewproblems @skepsiss
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ghouldtime · 6 days
Text
Ghost'ed
Been thinking about literal Ghost! Ghost. Maybe it's playing too many ghost hunting games or watching too many shows but I cannot stop thinking about it. You also cannot convince me this man wouldn't be a restless spirit. His entire life is troubled and I don't see him going down in a peaceful way or leaving until he feels the job is done - and likely ending up trapped as a result
I wrote this at work so sorry in advance for any typos or slip ups!
💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀
Ghost hunting wasn’t exactly what most people would list in "Top ten relaxing hobbies" - but it's not like you were most people. You were simply you. The same you who thought spending your time speculating about spooky specters was one of the best ways to pass by those few stretches of free time that could be all too fleeting in the hellscape known as adulthood.
The stares that followed you when you announced paranormal investigation as a hobby was something you knew all too well. After all, telling someone you’re a ghost hunter only stood as a slightly more socially acceptable version of telling them you believed in bigfoot (you did, but that’s beside the point). The dozens of cheesy TV shows certainly popularized it but they did little to help with the perception of it.
When the face of popular ghost hunting media was full of grown men who screamed like a squirrel high on helium at every little thump of a house settling, it did little to help what people automatically thought of when they heard of your unique hobby. Plenty still turned their noses up, scoffed slightly as they rolled their eyes and sneered, “Aren’t you too old to be doing that?” 
Or worse. They gave a tight-lipped smile, nodded, and crinkled their eyes as they said, "Oh, interesting." While the tension in their body told of holding back laughter or wanting to bolt right on out of there, far far away from you.
Quite frankly, you didn't care what they said anymore as it was your life to live, not theirs. You’d seen enough to know without a fraction of a doubt that there was more beyond the veil of life itself, hiding just out of sight. The hundreds of hours you spent wandering dark hallways and dilapidated ruins with nothing but your flashlight and ghost box proved otherwise. At least it proved it to you.
Proving it to others was a horse of another color. Skeptics who spit their criticism loud enough to deafen even the most positive prevalent of voices in the community were a dime a dozen. Unfortunately, their existence was as certain as the sky is blue. Skepticism was apart of human nature, after all. They would always exist as long as the day and night kept up their eternal dance.
Convincing them was a fruitless effort. You'd sooner be able to convince hippos to fly than you'd convince them of the truth you knew. Trying to get everyone to agree, to acknowledge the paranormal, was hopeless and something you certainly weren't going to waste your life on no matter what they called your or what they said.
As far as you were concerned, being paid to sit in the dark alone and find evidence of life beyond the grimy waters of death itself was a pretty sweet gig. The naysayers could seethe in their own jealousy all they wanted because at the end of the day, you’re getting paid to do what you love. That they never could take away from you.
They'd never be able to have the same thrill that you did as you took on another case, ready to see even more of what the phantasmal realm had to offer.
Anticipation, nervousness, and excitement rolled together in a palpable energy you hid beneath a calmer exterior every time you took a job. There always would be that wonder there, the question of what exactly you might find dangling just out of reach, the hope that maybe, just maybe you might see even more than you already have. Another chance to investigate meant yet another night spent lurking in the shadows, tirelessly trying to find more evidence of the great world beyond the grave and its inhabitants. Tonight certainly would be no different.
An older couple quite reluctantly booked an appointment for a standard investigation after mysterious things that they really could not explain, no matter how they went about it, happened time and time again. They'd tried to ignore it, they said, but it only got worse.
Footsteps that echoed through the house at first in a gentle patter had become confident strides. When they went to look, no one was there. Doors that used to slowly creak open, as if blown by the wind, instead started to rattle the frame with force as they opened or slammed in the middle of the night. The husband looked particularly miffed when he groused about the TV going on at odd hours of the night, while his wife seemed more concerned about the possibility of someone having broken in and the fact that it kept doubling in intensity as time went on. The list went on and on about their complaints ranging from things being moved around to always finding a light turned on in a room in the middle of the night. There most certainly was something going on if all of what they were saying was true.
The glaring parade of red flags that easily would send others running for the hills lured you in. Like a dog with a scent, you weren't going to drop the trail, oh no. You were there to sink your teeth and claws in and not let go. Come hell, heaven, or high water - nothing would stopping you.
True to your title, you were a paranormal investigator which warranted a lot more work and professionalism than the standard ghost hunters you saw on TV who couldn't tell the difference between a gust of wind and a ghost. Your job was to research, conduct a proper paranormal investigation, and provide your evidence - or lack of, if it was truly devoid of haunting. But here hardly sounded like it.
Taking your time and reassuring them that you were, indeed, a professional, you went over all the usual questions with them: when did this start, how old is your house, any history of deaths in it, have you acquired any new items recently, do you have any items that were second hand or antique, any family heirlooms in the house, was it in any particular location, etc etc.
Every angle had to be considered, especially the mundane. Plenty of times, people just had a poorly constructed house, deeply held superstitions, and a touch of paranoia to make for a perfect combination of nothing happening at all. That didn’t seem to be the case here, however. While none of their answers pointed in a clear direction of what it might be, it still all pointed to signs of something unworldly happening. But that's what you were there for. To determine if there actually was a ghost, why it was there, and maybe who it was (if things went well and it felt like cooperating). 
You bid them a good night as they headed off with family friends in a beat up convertible, chattering away without a care in the world as if they didn’t have a paranormal parasite problem. At least they were going to go enjoy their night by having an evening out instead of breathing down your neck like some of those who hired you. Locking the door, you trudged in with your gear and began the initial inspection with practiced ease.
A haunting in a house as young and modern as theirs was quite unusual. Open, airy rooms completed with white, sleek, almost eye-hurtingly clean interiors made up the entirety of the house. Even as night crawled higher and higher into the sky, pulling its dark cloak over the land, the house stayed bright. Nothing about it said haunted or caught your eye. The scariest thing there was likely the heating bill. 
As far as your research showed, there hadn't been a death in it or on the land. The owners also seemed quite appalled at the idea of antiques (go figure) so that went right out the window, too. Normally there might be some stashed somewhere that they weren't thinking about, like the attic, but this house didn’t even have that. No basement, no attic, no creepy graveyard in the back; it was a normal, suburban house that shouldn’t have anything going on.
Perusing the house at a leisurely pace, you browsed each and every room with a thorough consciousness of finding something, anything, that could possibly have started it. Yet you turned up empty handed. Everything was as pure and alabaster as the marble countertops and the expensive sleek metal furniture. 
Oh well, not every job would be easy. And not every haunted house was obligated to look run-down and rustic. Some ghosts just had more upper class tastes - or were unfortunate enough to be stuck in an eyesore like this. Maybe a ghost would add some actual personality to their home...
Seeing as they'd said there wasn't exactly a rhyme or reason as to where things would happen, you decided a central room was your best bet. The living room was open enough for everything and an easy place any spirits could find. It had plenty of room for your equipment and the open layout meant you had a great vantage point for the whole house.
Preparing your gear came as naturally as breathing to you, the tasks you've done dozens of times over were a matter of habit. Moving through the motions was your second nature as you worked, not batting an eye as you checked batteries and strategically stationed your gear. It only took a matter of minutes to have your cameras, light system, motion activated interactable objects, ghost box, and the rest of your fancy gadgets set up all around the room.
Placed on the coffee table was your heaviest piece of equipment - your modified spirit box that you had made some special adjustments to just to make sure your results were as accurate as possible. The broken antenna and attached amp weren't standard, nor were the noise reducers, but they stood as a testament to why you were a professional and why you kept getting called out to different places. You knew how to get results and tuned every tiny thing to your needs. There was no room for error or doubt alike in an already uncertain field.
Double checking everything was ready to go once more once more, you plunged the room into somewhat true darkness as you drew the curtains shut and pressed the button on the spirit box, causing it to crackle to life. Speeding through the static of radio stations, it scanned the many frequencies in a blur, far too fast for any natural noise to come through. The whirring of it evened out into a constant, muffled background noise that you’d spent countless hours listening to. Its familiar hum lulled you into a relaxed state, your heart as steady as your calm breaths despite the slight buzz of familiar adrenaline you always felt when you first started. A small beep signaled the successful activation of the digital thermometer as you walked around in a slow, even pace, checking all around. 
Taking a deep breath, you began as you always had. In a confident, but even tone you called out, “Is there anyone with me right now?”
....
........
Silence.
The static of the spirit box continued to filter through in its usual constant churning hum of white noise. Typical. Many supernatural beings wouldn't want to interact, especially not at first. You don't blame them. If a stranger barged into your house and demanded if you were there, pestering you with questions as threw their belongings around, you'd not want to answer them either. That wasn’t even considering that many were so unused to people hearing them or trying to talk to them, not at them. They didn't exactly register on the same frequency that humans did most of the time.
Walking around the room, your boots echoed on the tile flooring. Your footsteps ricocheted off of the high ceilings, amplified by the lofty ceiling and wonderful acoustics this house apparently had. Keeping your attention ever shifting, you kept alert for signs of anything happening. Looking too long in the dark and expecting things to happen would only yield false results and cause paranoia. You knew far better than to do that. 
Nothing lit up, nothing beeped, nothing changed. There was conclusively nothing happening for the first few, long minutes as everything kept at an unwavering constant. Visiting each room, you rechecked their temperatures and tried to find anything amiss or out of place. Yet all seemed well, still, and normal.
Only when you crossed the hallway back into the living room after a quick visit to the bedrooms did your hair stand on end. A chill ran down your spine, the once warm air now holding the barest bite of cold on the edge. Holding up the thermometer, you narrowed your eyes at the steady decrease. While it wasn't quite freezing, it kept dropping and dropping. Numbers ticked lower and lower, your hair stood further on end as a small shiver ran through you as the chill dipped lower and lower. Bingo. First sign of activity of the night. It wasn’t much but it was plenty to know that something was happening here.
Despite the crisp chill, nothing else shifted in the room. Silence prevailed behind the distant drone of your equipment; mainly the comforting, steady typical static of the spirit box. Even the appliances seemed to have gone quiet, exchanging their usual low thrumming rhythm for a break that suspended them in a noiseless limbo.
Your shifting movements echoed far louder than you would have liked as you paced around the room, looking for something new, anything. An actual tangible reaction you could record would be just what you needed but so far, the haunt was holding out.  “What is your name?” You asked, keeping your voice as steady as you can as you tried to switch it up. 
Continual feedback from the spirit box sounded as steady as can be. Still, there was no voice trying to get through it. The fabricated noise reigned supreme as it did its job, whirring away. Pressing your lips into a thin line, the smallest hint of a frown tugged at your lips as disappointment flickered through you. Okay, that's fine. It usually took a few tries anyways. 
A faint, sparkling crackle escaped from it as you heard one, tiny word in a rumbling timbre. One, single word that halted you mid step, your head snapping towards the machine. 
“Ghost.”
Doing a double take, a grin split across your face as your heart jumped with joy. A response! A true, actual response. Not that it exactly answered your question but it meant something was listening.
There was something here!
Nearly tripping over your own feet, you scampered over to your beloved machine. Your eyes fixated on the glowing orange screen, gleaming with glee. 
“W-what’s your name?” You repeat a bit louder unable to hide the excited tremble in your voice or hands, figuring the ghost likely didn't hear you right. 
Static white noise continued for a few seconds, the little x in the corner flashed once, twice, before it lit up solidly. 
“Ghost.”
The smile you held dropped only for a fraction of a second before you cleared your throat. Well, maybe your slight stutter and excitement got in the way. You did talk fast when excited, after all. Taking a deep breath, undeterred as can be, you repeated in a far steadier voice, “What is your name?”
This time you made sure to enunciate every single syllable, speaking clear and confidently into the air. 
One flashing X glowed in the corner of the screen. Another flash. A third. Fourth. Fifth.
Yet again, the deep voice came a bit louder and rougher this time. A thick Mancunian accent that barely picked up through the filter didn't dull the single word you were trying to avoid, “Ghost.”
Okay. Your brows furrowed deeper, your nose wrinkling slightly as your heart sank. The minor disappointment couldn't be kept off of your face as you really had hoped to hear something else. Approach one clearly isn't working. 
Maybe he didn't speak English. Or maybe he wasn't sure that he was dead. Whatever. There was a ghost and he was answering, that's what mattered, you reminded yourself forcefully until the smile came back to your face and the smallest bit of a headache dissipated. Focus on that. Not on the slight annoyance you felt and the agitated twitch of your fingers.
Exhaling, you pursed your lips. Your grip retightened on your flashlight as you racked through questions in your mind, trying to find something that it would have to answer differently too. 
“Can you do something?”
Hopeful, your eyes trailed around the room, praying that maybe the ghost would do something like interact with the many objects scattered about, or even the motion sensors. 
Nothing happened for a few long moments, silence once again prevailing in the otherwise empty house.
Orange light flashed from the spirit box as the X lit up again, only for a second before the dreaded word repeated itself. 
“Ghost.”
Before you could ask what that even meant, or curse it out for that matter, the spirit box and your flashlight shut off, plunging you into true darkness. The flashlight nearly flew from your hands in surprise as you flinched instinctually, your heart leaping into your throat. Frantically flickering the button of your trusty tool did nothing as you desperately tried to turn on your one source of light with the only way you knew how - only to be met with the continual sight of empty, non-shining bulbs. 
Curses spilled from your lips in all the languages you knew as you fumbled for a battery pack, only to find them missing. What? But you swore that they were right there -- ugh, nevermind. This just wasn't going to be your night.
The initial panic subsided as the chill left the air, the residual regular warmth of the house sinking into the room as if blown in by a lazy breeze. Your hair still stood on end as you walked around with cautious, hesitant steps, having given up on the flashlight. There wasn't coming back from that.
It's only when you approached the spirit box, trying to turn it on to no avail, that you realized what he meant. You asked him to do something and he obliged.
He ghosted you. 
God fucking damn it. 
As you glared at the air in frustration, threw your hands up and personally cursed the fiend, you could've sworn you heard a resonating chuckle behind you as breath brushed against the nape of your neck in a way that sent shivers down your spine for a whole new reason.
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sencrose · 3 months
Text
-- SAPPHIRE PASSION
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pairing: gojo satoru x f!reader
tags: dubcon, extremely dubious consent?, idol AU, object insertion, pain, coercion, praise, masturbation, fingering, creampie
wc: 5.1k
a/n: i'm taking notes from underground jp idol culture, if you have any questions feel free to ask (would love to talk more about it despite my pretty shallow knowledge, i am begging actually). in short: chekis -> polaroids, oshi -> fave/bias, oshikatsu -> showing support for your fave. ao3 link with alot more notes here
summary: you're too eager to please, and Satoru's all too willing to take advantage.
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Sometimes you wish you had a more socially acceptable hobby. It’s hard maintaining friendships when your days are constantly blocked out by concerts, when you spend all your money on chekis and oshikatsu goods. Whenever you try to explain, you’re met with looks of disgust and snide comments about how you’re throwing money into an endless pit.  
In terms of romantic prospects, it’s not like you can invite anyone over to your apartment either, cramped and covered in a plethora of merch that most people would find strange at best and downright creepy at worst. But that wish washes away as soon as you step to the front of the line.
”Oh look who’s back! How have you been?” Satoru beams with a smile that puts the sun to shame.
”I’m doing great, how are you?” you greet back, handing him your ticket.
“I’m doing great as well!” He gestures to the staff member to get ready to shoot. 
”What kind of pose do you wanna do this time?” he asks. 
”Can we do heart cat ears?”
”Oh, I don’t think I’ve done that before,” his hands press together to show his excitement, “how do you do it?” His eyes peer into yours, sparkling with anticipation.
You bend your index finger while keeping your middle straight and put them on top of your head, two halves of a heart placed to look vaguely like cat ears.
”Aw, that’s so cute! As expected of my cutest fan.” 
He says that almost every time you’ve met him. You’re sure he says it to all the other fans as well, but it never fails to send blood rushing to your face.
The cameraman counts down from three and the two of you get posed up. With a flash, the picture is taken. The film slowly slides out of the polaroid camera, and Satoru swiftly takes it, shaking a paint pen in his other hand to get ready to sign it.
”Did you enjoy the show today?”
”I did!” You exclaim, maybe a bit too excitedly as your voice squeaks unexpectedly. “It was amazing as always.” 
”Aw, that’s great. We’ve been working really hard, I’m so glad you enjoyed it.”  Satoru signs the polaroid while talking, decorating it with hearts. “What was your favorite part?”
“I don’t know, everything was so great…” you hesitate, attempting to collect your thoughts. Your nerves creep up on you, and you curse how this happens no matter how many times you’ve done this. Satoru simply nods to show he’s listening as he continues signing the polaroid.
“T-the new stage outfits are so gorgeous and they really make you shine,” you pause, trying to think of the other highlights of the night, hands gesturing in an attempt to expel your nervous energy, “but I didn’t expect you guys to perform the new single so soon, so that was a really pleasant surprise.”
“I’m glad you had such a fun time.” Satoru responds, finishing signing the polaroid with a dramatic flick of the wrist, signaling that your time together is coming to an end.
”I’ll be here to cheer you on for all your future work as well!”
“I’ll be looking forward to seeing you then!” Satoru holds the polaroid gingerly, blowing on it to aid the drying paint. “Now remember, be careful, hold the picture by the edges so you don’t smear the paint.” 
“Of course.” You grab hold of the picture, holding it carefully by the edges as he’d demonstrated. 
“See you next time! Thanks for all your support!”
”See you next time!” You wave back. You take in the view of the polaroid, slowly developing, the smiles of you and your oshi permanently encapsulated in the thin film. Just looking at it puts a cheesy grin on your face as you make your way out of the venue.
After the paint has had ample time to dry, you place the picture in your wallet, in the transparent slot that’s usually reserved for your ID. This is more important anyways.
---
You must be losing your mind. There’s no way this is real.
You were adjusting all of your chekis, moving them between your mini photo albums. The most recent polaroid had something written on the back:
Text me sometime? xx-xxxx-5429
After finding this hidden message, you dug through the rest of the chekis you’ve collected over the years, only to find nothing. It’s just this one. When did he even get the chance to write this?
You can’t help but burst into laughter at the absurdity of it all. Should you even message it? Are you willing to cross that line?
You are. You definitely are. 
---
you: hey, is this Satoru?
Satoru, maybe?: depends, is this my cutest fan?
Satoru, maybe?: with the heart cat ears? ♡ॢ₍⸍⸌̣ʷ̣̫⸍̣⸌₎
You slam your phone down on your bed in a panic, as if it’s been possessed by a demon. Your heart races as you grab on to your chest, attempting to inhale deeply to collect yourself before unlocking your phone and typing again. 
you: haha yeah
you: but wait, how do i know it’s you?
Satoru, maybe?: <1 attachment>
Satoru, maybe?: does this prove it?
You open the picture with bated breath only to realize it really is him. It isn’t a picture you recognize from his SNS accounts, considering he barely uploads anything to them. 
you: i guess it does :)
Satoru, maybe?: then i was wondering
Satoru, maybe?: did you wanna go out sometime? 
Satoru, maybe?: my treat of course
Alright, play it cool, take a deep breath. This does nothing to still your racing heart. It’s a once in a lifetime opportunity, after all. 
you: yes i’d love to!
Satoru, maybe?: awesome! are you free this saturday?
you: yeah i am! :)
Satoru, maybe?: cool, meet me at the station at 2?
you: sounds like a plan 
Satoru, maybe?: alright, see you then :)
you: see you then :)
---
Saturday couldn’t come fast enough. 
You spent all morning agonizing over what to wear, and you can only hope that it was the right choice. You wait anxiously by the station exit, keeping your phone on standby for any incoming texts. 
“Hey!” Satoru approaches you, although heavily obscured. Baggy black hoodie and pants swallow his figure, along with a baseball cap, mask, and sunglasses covering his face. “I hope I didn’t keep you waiting too long.” He tilts his face down towards you so you can get a look at his eyes, and prove that it is indeed him – not that you need the evidence, you would recognize his voice anywhere.
“Oh no worries,” you smile nervously, noting just how close he is to you, “I just got here.”
“That’s great!” he says, punctuating the end of his sentence with a clap, “Well, let’s get going!” 
“Where are we headed?” You follow behind him, letting him lead the way.
“I thought a cafe would be nice.” He looks over his shoulder to meet your eyes. “You like sweets?”
“I do!”
The two of you make your way to the cafe, engaging in casual small talk along the way. You feel like you’re walking on clouds alongside him, the distance between you so close that his hand occasionally grazes yours.
You find yourself in a quaint cafe hidden in an alleyway. It’s a hidden gem, you’d never find it without his recommendation. A quiet oasis in the middle of a bustling cityscape.
“They have really good pastries here. Feel free to get whatever you want.”
You look into the display case, dozens of artisan pastries and baked goods lined up neatly at your fingertips. 
After a moment of deliberation, the two of you order your food, an array of pastries, along with two coffees showing up at your table shortly after.
“I ordered some extras too in case you wanna try any of them.”
”Oh, thank you.” You reach towards what you assume is a chocolate croissant, ripping a piece off. It has a light crispy skin, melting in your mouth as soon as you take a bite. 
“Wow, this really is good.”
“Right? I love coming here.” Satoru exclaims, taking off some of his layers.
“Are you sure about that?”
”Yeah, don’t worry I come here all the time. Plus,” he says, gesturing to the empty tables, “Nobody’s really around.”
You already knew you were on a date with him, but it feels so much more real when his sunglasses and mask are off. You take in the sight of him and even under the dim lighting of the cafe, his beauty shines, almost blindingly so. You notice yourself staring a bit too long at his face, eyes shifting to the side.
”You can look all you want,” he teases, placing his hands on the back of his head as if he’s trying to show off, “I don’t mind.” 
You bring yourself to look at him again, but he has that award winning smile that has heat blazing a trail to your cheeks.
”So…” you trail off, unsure how to carry on the conversation. It’s one thing when you know you have two minutes in a controlled environment, it’s a whole other beast when you have all the time in the world. Any conversation topic that you’d usually keep slotted in your back pocket eludes you.
“You’re wearing a different outfit than usual. It’s cute.” Satoru picks up where you left off.
“Ah, I guess you’ve only seen me wearing merch at concerts, huh?”
“Yeah, but this is nice too,” he says before taking a sip of his coffee, “‘lets me see another side of you.” 
“I guess we’re both seeing different sides of each other.”
“Am I that different?”
“Maybe,” you pause, a hint of hesitance to your voice, “just a little.”
“What’s so different about me?” he asks, his chin leaning on his hand, tilting his head so he can show off his sharp jawline and the sparkle of his eyes with the sunlight shining through the window. Something about him seems just out of touch, like he’s hiding behind a mask. That said, it’s a beautiful mask.
“I’m not so sure,” you answer honestly. If you really put your head to it, he’s every bit as charming now as he is when he’s performing. Maybe even more so, but you’re not sure you have the guts to confess that. 
“You wanna know what I think is different about you?” he asks, his fork cutting a slice into his tart before pointing it at you, like an accusation of a crime, “You seem more nervous than usual.” 
“Am I right?” he asks, his voice dangerously low, before taking a bite of his tart. 
How could you not be? Your favorite idol is on a date with you of all people, and you’re well aware he’s well out of your league. 
“Yeah, you are,” you confess, eyes looking off to the side, unable to meet his gaze.
“Do I get a prize?”
“What do you want?” you ask awkwardly, shifting around in your seat ruminating on the possibilities. 
“What do you think?” He grins, his eyes tracing the features of your face until he lands on your lips. 
This might be the most forward you’ve been in your life. Time feels like it slows as you scoot your chair closer to his. With your eyes closed, you steel yourself, lips pouted, lean forward, closer — this is what he wants, right?
“Ah,” Satoru’s voice breaks your trance, “but I don’t wanna force you to do anything you don’t wanna do, that’s not fun.”
“O-oh,” you collect yourself, plopping back down in your seat a bit too fast, wishing you could curl up into a ball and disappear, “right.”
---
You messed up.
You wouldn’t be surprised if he just ghosted you after this. Maybe the rest of the date went fine, you’re not sure, too preoccupied with the embarrassment hanging over your head. Why did you try to kiss him?
The jingle of the door notes your departure and interrupts your spiraling thoughts as the two of you make your way back onto the busy street. The air shared between the two of you is stagnant, a clear cut contrast to the noises of the city. 
“Um, I had a lot of fun today,” you break the silence as you continue walking, “thanks for taking me out.”
“Of course! But it doesn’t have to end just yet.”
“What do you mean?”
“Maybe we could head back to yours?” he proposes casually, eyes meeting yours.
You look back at him, eyes nearly bulging out of your head as your grip on your bag strap tightens. Your gaze shoots nervously to the floor, staring at a crushed soda can that piques your interest for the moment. 
“I-it’s a bit messy,” you look back at him only to realize he’s staring right into you, “I don’t know if you would want-“
“I don’t mind a little mess,” he says, casually wrapping his arm around your shoulder. “You’re not scaring me off that easily.” There’s a tone behind his words you don’t recognize, something that doesn’t seem quite as rehearsed or put together like his usual self. You try to find it in yourself to protest, but the words on the tip of your tongue melt away as Satoru looks at you with a burning desire behind his eyes.
“S-sure.”
---
You make your way back to your apartment, with Satoru following right behind you. 
“Make yourself at home.”
Your place isn’t actually that messy, but it is small, feeling even more cramped when it’s covered in an embarrassing amount of merch. You didn’t actually expect him to come over, so you didn’t make any preparations to make your room seem like that of a normal person. Promotional flyers, album posters, concert apparel, smother your walls without a speck of empty space to be seen. 
His eyes are drawn to the display shelf in the corner, fit with several can badges and acrylic stands of his likeness, customized light sticks, and a fan with his face plastered on it. 
“Must be a little weird seeing this, huh?” you attempt to joke, but your awkwardness is too candid to be hidden. 
“I don’t think so. It makes you even cuter in my book.”
“Really?”
“Really,” he states with a conviction that catches you off guard, “you mind if I take a look?”
“Not at all.” You gesture towards the case with your hands and a slight bow, a bit too formally for the situation at hand. “Go ahead.” You swear his eyes sparkle as he looks over the case before settling on one of the light sticks.
“Did you decorate this one yourself?”
“I did! It was before you released official light sticks.”
“That’s so sweet of you. Do you mind?” he points at the stick.
“Sure.” You open the case, reaching for the light before handing it over to Satoru. Once in his hand, he taps on the buttons, cycling through the colors until it turns a beautiful shade of blue.
“Wow, this shines pretty bright.” he comments, admiration glimmering in his eyes.
“I have to show my support from the crowd.” you say, waving your fist as if you’re holding a lightstick in your hand.
Satoru mimics the chant patterns you yell at his shows with an earnestness that has you grinning ear to ear. You can’t help but chuckle as you watch him make a fool out of himself. He really is better suited to be on the stage. After a few moments of waving the light stick around he puts it down.
“God, your arms must be tired after doing this the whole show.” he says, holding onto his shoulder as he stretches. 
“I’m pretty used to it. If anything, it’s a great workout,” you say, raising your arm to flex the less than impressive muscle, “and you’re working out way more than I am!”
“Well with fans like you, I gotta be able to keep up.”
Before you know it, his face hovers dangerously close to yours. Your eyes meet his, an unreal crystalline blue you’ve never seen this close. His hand brushes against yours, fingers gently slotting into yours. His other hand caresses your chin with gentleness you’ve only dreamt of. Satoru brings his face towards you, sealing your lips with a kiss. The scent of vanilla and cardamom fills your lungs, a stark and welcome difference from the sweat and stale odor of the venues you usually see him in. 
It’s just a kiss, but you can feel yourself getting lost in his lips, heat building in your body as you press into him. He presses further into you with a fervor that overwhelms you as he wraps his hand around your waist. His kisses become more intense, like rain clouds swirling into a storm, asking, demanding for an entrance you’re all too willing to give him, parting your lips. The taste of coffee and sugar dance on his tongue, intoxicating like a spell, pulling you in further. Everything about him is overwhelming, the way his body is pressed flush against yours, his grip around your waist, how he maneuvers you closer to the foot of your bed until you fall gracelessly onto it. Satoru hovers above you, toned arms on either side of your head, white strands framing his face, eyes filled with lust. 
“Could you do something for me?” The question is simple enough, but you sense something darker behind his words. You’re not sure what you’re getting yourself into, but after that debacle at the cafe, you’re far too eager to please, to make amends in any way you can.
“Y-yeah.” 
“Show me how much of a fan you are.”
He places the penlight in your hand, wrapping his fingers against yours. His hand guides you to lift the hem of your skirt, the light now pressing against the fabric of your underwear.
“Would you do that for me?” he asks, sultry and sweet. 
Your breath catches in your lungs, face burning as if your cheeks are flint and he’s lit a match under your nose. The beat of your heart rings rhythmically in your ears, as you question if you heard his proposition correctly. Is he asking what you think he’s asking?
“I-I haven’t done anything like this.” you say, not exactly answering his question, hoping he accepts your answer. 
“Don’t worry, I’ll guide you every step of the way.” His fingers hook into the side of your underwear, sliding up and down your slit. “I’ll even help you get started.”
You’re at a loss for words, nerves paralyzing your tongue, only able to give him a shy nod. 
He continues playing with you, fingers finding your clit and drawing languid circles that are just a bit too slow. An unfamiliar tension grows in your core, begging for release.
“You really are my cutest fan.” he whispers in your ear, honey dripping off every word.
His finger teases your hole, slowly inserting to a shallow depth before taking it out. Your muscles squeeze in anticipation only for him to play with your entrance, rubbing against your folds before entering you again. Your hole envelops his finger as he pushes it in. He starts with a curl, his finger digging around as if he’s searching for something. Within a moment, he’s pressing against the spot that has you leaning into him, chasing for more. 
You can’t keep your satisfaction hidden, low gasps spilling from your lips as you realize your hips are bucking into him. His fingers build a steady pace, and you meet him there, desperately humping into his touch. 
“So needy, huh?” he teases before inserting another finger into you. It slides in without any resistance, a testament to your arousal. 
A warmth builds in your body, your breathing labored as he has his way with you. You melt under his touch, like putty in his hands. It’s a wasted effort to keep your voice back, volume rising as you bite back on your hand.
Satoru pauses for a moment, fingers slowly exiting as he admires your arousal on his hands. He reaches out for the penlight, bringing it towards your hole. The plastic presses uncomfortably against your slit, collecting your slick he slides it up and down your lips. Your heart feels like it’s beating in your throat, and a twinge of fear hits you when you realize you’ve never had something so large inside you. 
“S-Satoru, I’m not sure about this.” You hold his wrist firmly, an attempt to have him pause.
“Don’t worry, it’ll feel really good, I promise.” Satoru ignores your grip, slowly pushing the light stick into your hole, the object feeling foreign inside of you. The stretch is uncomfortable, cold unfeeling plastic separating your walls. You can’t bring yourself to look at him, or the intrusion inside your body, eyes darting across the room to look at something, anything else — a daunting task when his likeness is plastered all over the walls. 
“Just like this.” He brings your attention back to him, patient hand holding onto yours, gripping you as he slowly fucks you with the light stick. Your pussy envelops the light, blue sheen disappearing as he pushes it in more. With every thrust, you can see your arousal glossing the surface of the light stick. You don’t recognize it as the object of your affection, custom made for him. It’s molded into something else altogether, a vessel solely there to deliver a hot tension to your core. 
The discomfort from the stretch slowly dissipates, a flare of pleasure building in its place. It starts to feel less foreign as it warms up to the temperature of your insides. Satoru starts to pick up the pace, lewd squelches escaping your cunt with each pump.
“You’re doing so good for me,” he coos. His lips graze the nape of your neck, a subtle lick to test the waters, earning a high pitched squeal that comes out more like an excited moan. You feel him grin against your skin, kisses tracing a line towards your shoulder. You can’t deny yourself the heat that builds in your core, the way your breath hitches in your chest with every kiss, every drag of the light stick.
“Show me how good you feel.” His eyes watch intently as his hand lets go of yours. You continue fucking yourself with the light stick, free hand rubbing circles on your clit, desperate to soothe that building ache for release. Satoru watches intently, his hand stroking himself through the fabric of his pants. 
Heat rises in your face, in disbelief that you’re doing this in front of him — but he’s getting off on it too, a blush painting his face as he unbuckles his belt and frees his cock from his briefs. Satoru lifts the hem of his shirt before biting onto the fabric, revealing muscles you’ve only seen on stage in fleeting moments of fanservice. Even from those short glimpses, you knew he had a well-maintained physique, but it’s much more sinful when it’s mere inches away, for your viewing pleasure alone.  There’s something arousing about watching the image of your picture perfect idol falling apart as he loses himself in the throes of passion. He moans under his breath, desperate for release as he strokes his cock harder.
The view’s enough to send you over the edge, waves of pleasure washing over your body as you gush over yourself, walls fluttering and clamping onto the illuminated plastic. Satoru’s close behind you, soft moans escaping him as he cums, hot ropes of semen covering your pussy.
You’re barely able to gather yourself, chest rising and falling at an abnormal pace, a sheen of sweat covering your back, causing the fabric of your shirt to cling to you. Aftershocks of your pleasure shoot through you, phantom spasms clamping to the intrusion inside your cunt. Your walls clings to the light stick, feeling a bit of resistance as you pull it out. Your muscles shiver at its absence, core aching at the emptiness. The light flickers before turning off permanently. Guess it wasn’t waterproof.
Satoru chuckles as he collects himself, still out of breath from his orgasm. “Wow, you actually did it. Maybe the rumors about my fans are true.”
“What rumors?”
“They’re sluts.”
His words deliver a sobering realization that brings you down from your high and back to reality. Your face twists in embarrassment, blood rushing to your cheeks in a wicked heat. 
“Don’t worry sweetheart, you’re the first,” he purrs low, kissing the nape of your neck. You’re not sure you can believe him. “And for what it’s worth, I really enjoyed it.” 
“Look what you did to me,” he teases, stroking his hard cock, already raring to go. “Gotta do something about it, yeah?” His cock presses against your slit, slowly humping into it, his pre and your juices mixing together. The stimulation so close after your orgasm makes you shiver.
“You’ll do it for me, right?” His head tilts inquisitively as the tip of his cock hovers over your hole, moments away from penetrating. The size of his cock strikes fear in your chest. Even compared to the light stick, you can tell you’ll struggle to take him in. You’re not sure if you’re ready for something like this, but when he asks with that honeyed tone dripping from his words, you feel charmed to say yes. You want to make him feel good too, giving another hesitant nod blessing him with the permission he craves.
“Good girl.” With a swift thrust, he forcefully pushes himself inside you, an uncomfortable stretch building into a harrowing pain. Of course a light stick doesn’t hold a candle to the real thing. Everything about it is just too much. There’s just too much resistance, too much of him inside of you. You struggle to take him in as he presses in further, holding your breath in hopes of a relief that never arrives – just a fullness you’ve never experienced before. A pained hiss escapes you as he starts humping into you recklessly, air knocked out of your lungs with each thrust, without any regard for your comfort.
“Wait, S-Satoru, it hurts.” You’re barely able to get the words out between pained groans. You attempt to squeeze your legs shut, but it does nothing to soothe the pain or slow Satoru’s pace.
“But you’re making me feel so good.” He spreads your legs apart further, fucking you with slow but hard strokes. His hands grip onto your inner thighs, using it as leverage to push himself deeper inside you. The slap of skin only gets louder, a pain striking in your core as he hits your cervix. Any attempt to drive your attention away from the pain fails, only leading to your hands gripping onto the sheets, knuckles turning a blistering white. The cool and collected facade of your idol fades away to dust. You don’t recognize the man in front of you, all greed and desire, rutting into you searching for his own high.
”Satoru, p-please, it’s too much!” you plead, hand momentarily letting go of the sheets to push against his chest.
”C’mon sweetie, I know you can do it,” whispering in that sweet yet hollow tone that hasn’t left his lips since the moment you met him, not that it does much to soothe. His tongue licks the shell of your ear, a gasp escaping your lips. 
You attempt to power through, biting down on your lip and letting your favorite idol have his way with you, ravaging your pussy like it was made just for this, just for him. Tears swell in your eyes as you try to put on a brave face. You can’t bring yourself to look at him, clenching your eyes closed as you let out choked back sobs.
”Don’t cry, you’re being so good for me,” he says in an artificially sweet tone that now sounds alien, overplayed like a broken record. One hand gently pets your head before gripping onto your hair, only serving as a support for him to push himself deeper into you. 
“You’ll feel real good soon, I promise.” You’re not sure you believe him, not sure you can believe him until his hand makes its way to your aching clit. The graze of his fingers is already enough to have you keening into him. Little shocks of ecstasy shoot through your body as he finally slows down, his hand focusing more on the bundle of nerves. His other hand reaches up to your chest, fingers crawling under the fabric to play with your tits, kneading the flesh before catching your nipple between his fingers. With his aid, your body gets acclimated to his size, the burn from being stretched out subsiding and a dull but undeniable pleasure taking its place.
You don’t recognize this version of yourself, desperate for a high you’ve never even tasted, falling back onto base, primal emotions as you start to match his tempo, pathetically pressing your body into his. You don’t recognize the salacious moans spilling from your lips, the look in Satoru’s half lidded eyes as he watches you give in to your desire. 
”See, what’d I tell you?” he pants into your ear, warmth from his breath sending a shiver up your spine, “feels good, right?”
And you hate to admit it, but he’s right: it does feel good. Better than good even, heavenly. How his length fills you up so deep, the way your cunt anticipates him with each thrust, your walls slowly taking the shape of him. Any words on the tip of your tongue disappear without a trace, head too fuzzy and scrambled to form any coherent thoughts.
The tension in your body comes to a head, body tight as your muscles clamp around his cock like a vice, panting his name with a reverence fit for an idol. Pleasure shoots through every nerve of your body, head light and hazy with bliss as he fucks you through your orgasm. Your hands ball into fists as he teeters the line of overstimulation, a whisper of pain too quiet to be felt before it fades. Satoru’s close behind too, pace erratic as he moans a string of hushed expletives under his breath. He comes with a deep thrust inside you, warm sticky ropes of cum coating your insides.
Satoru takes a moment to catch his breath before removing himself from you. Cum spills out of your hole, and you wince at the emptiness. You both lie on the cramped bed, out of breath, sweat clinging to your bodies. A gentle yet unreadable smile paints his face, and you’re not sure what to make of it. 
“You really are my cutest fan.”
92 notes · View notes
animehideout · 9 months
Note
Your work is super good! Would it be possible to have the Sfw alphabet for gojo pretty please? Or what he's like when he falls in love and is committed? Whichever you would rather do.
SFW Alphabets For Gojo Satoru ♡
a/n: Thank you Anon for this cute request I really had fun writing this one, I hope you enjoy it <33
Note: I'm working on all the requests so don't worry my loves 🫶🏻🩷
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A: Affection.
( How he shows affection?)
Gojo is openly affectionate, whether in private or public settings, be it during meetings, on the street, or in the presence of his students, colleagues, or even higher-ups. He consistently engages in subtle displays of affection, such as holding hands or loosely wrapping his arms around your shoulder or waist. Indifferent if others are looking, he doesn't mind if your lovey-dovey interactions make others uncomfortable or cringe. Especially at home, he'll latch himself to you as if he were a 6Ft tall koala.
B: Babies.
( Does he want to settle down and start a family?)
Gojo is good with children, he's able of taking care of them financially and never fails in making them laugh with the silly faces he makes. Eventually he likes to get married but he only lives the moment with his partner till both of you are ready to take that step. Satoru doesn't want to rush things concerning kids he would like to have children but that depends on your decision, might also consider adoption if you want kids but don't want to go through pregnancy.
C: Cuddles.
( How does he cuddle you?)
This 6ft giant is definitely the big spoon. Would he crush you with his arms? yes. Would he let go of you once he traps you in his embrace? No. When both of you are cuddling, his strong arms would engulf you and give you all the warmth you need. When he gets home exhausted from work he loves to get babied, he lays his head on your chest, your steady heartbeat soothes him to sleep.
D: Dreams.
(Dreams he wants to achieve with you?)
Gojo is a guy with big dreams, and having a partner makes achieving those dreams even more exciting. He dreams of traveling the world with you, collecting souvenirs from every country and city both of you visit. Probably would make a shelf full of souvenirs collection. Satoru has got a sweet tooth, so he's eager to try the various sweets and pastries from different countries, even planning to make you a sweet tooth too so you can enjoy them together without you complaining that it's too much sugar.
E: Ending.
( What would make him break up with you?)
Cheating is a deal-breaker for him; he would end the relationship immediately. He values himself highly, so if his partner picks someone else, it hurts his dignity and pride. He won't hesitate to break up on the spot and won't give any second chances or even care to listen to explanations or excuses. He sees them as a waste of his precious time and energy. ( who would cheat on Gojo tho🤔? )
F: First Date.
(How did he ask you out? and how it went?)
Confident af yet so laid-back, he'd casually ask you out, assured you won't say no. Being a busy guy, he'd likely do it through a text or call, saying something like, "Hey, wanna go out on date with me? I'll pick you up at 8:00 p.m." Without giving you much chance to respond, you might think it's a simple hangout. Surprise! He takes you to a fancy, high-end restaurant, covering all expenses for your first date and every date thereafter. He's a true gentleman🥹🤌🏻.
G: Gifts.
(What kind of gifts he gives you?)
He likes buying expensive gifts from expensive brands, especially accessories and perfumes, and he does it randomly without occasions, just to spoil you. Spending money on you is like a job for him because he sees it as his duty. However, he doesn't really think about what you might like; instead, he picks things based on what he personally prefers. Surprisingly, you end up liking them because he has good taste 🤌🏻.
H: Hobbies.
(What hobbies he enjoys doing with you?)
Satoru has two main hobbies to do with you; shopping and watching movies. You prefer shopping because when you watch movies, he often spills the beans and gives major spoilers about what happens, making you frustrated with the messed-up order of events, and sometimes canceling your movie night. On the other hand, he enjoys shopping together because he gets a free fashion show from you. Would make you try on various clothes, and he even lets you pick out shoes for him. It's like you both are bees, buzzing around from one store to another, making fun of ugly clothes and having a good time gossiping and judging designers.
I: Impression.
(Your first impression of him?)
You'd be excited to meet the strongest sorcerer, the famous Gojo Satoru that everyone talks about. However, when you see him for the first time, you might be surprised, thinking, "What the heck?". It's hard to believe he's a teacher with significant responsibilities. He appears childish and unserious, He may seem annoying and talkative, mostly bragging about himself, and you could notice him being a disrespectful to older folks. This creates a negative first impression. Yet, as you get to know him better, you'll discover that he's truly wise and responsible, although he does have a hefty ego.
J: Jealousy.
(Is he the jealous type? How does he deal with it?)
Satoru is a chill guy who doesn't easily get jealous or offended. He's confident in how he looks and who he is, believing he's better than other guys out there. If a guy comes up and starts showing off in a not-so-smooth way, he'd mock and tease him, laugh and make fun of him. But if another guy comes along and seems capable, oh boy, he'll go all out to try and make him look small, overshadow, belittle and embarrass him in front of you. Gojo will do whatever it takes to show that he's superior and the perfect match for you.
K: Kisses.
(How does he kiss you?)
He likes giving hugs, but when it comes to daily kisses, he's all about the goofy and playful ones. He plants them all over your face, making a sound like 'MWAH,' even squishing your cheeks and giving them a big ass kiss. He giggles during these kisses and enjoys how you playfully push him away. Annoying you with his love is something he really likes to do.
L: Love Language.
(What is his love language?)
His has two love languages combined; physical touch and giving gifts. He loves having his hands on you, and he's also a fan of PDA ( Public Display of Affection) . He became addicted to your touch, even if it's just a pat on the head. Additionally, he enjoys giving you gifts because 1st, he loves you, 2nd, it's also a way for him to flaunt his wealth.
M: Mornings.
(His mornings with you?)
For a man with heavy responsibilities hanging on his shoulder, he would wake up quite early and you are forced to wake up with him, and the thing is, he doesn't wake you up like normal people do, he would be overly hyped and excited. Would tickle you till you fall off bed, would literally startle you in your sleep with his random tickle attacks. Whines a lot if you refuse to wake up or if you hit him with a pillow. Once you're fully awake he likes to enjoy breakfast with you in the balcony while both of you enrich your bodies with an intake of vitamin D. 🌞
N:Nights.
(His nights with you?)
He's a night owl, nah seriously lacking in sleep, yet always full of energy. During the night, he might suggest dining out, but if you're tired, he'd order food delivery and just hang out at home. He'd even join you in your skincare routine, then tucks you to sleep. He watches over you, making sure you're comfy, and only then does he join you in dreamland. He never drifts off before you. 🌌
O: Opressive.
(Is he controlling in a relationship?)
Gojo is super open-minded, values independence, and trusts you a lot. Normally, he's not the controlling type, but when it comes to your safety, oh hell no, he gets strict and over controlling. If there's something risky going on outside, he won't let you take a single step outside the house without him knowing about it.
P: Pet Names.
(His favorite pet names?)
He likes giving you cute, cheesy names in public to make you blush like “Pumpkin spice of my life” or “Cute lemon cupcake”, but mostly calling you “baby”or “babes”. He also enjoys being called by cringy pet names or anything other than his real name. If you ever use his real name, Satoru, he tends to overthink, worrying he might have done something wrong or that you're upset with him.
Q: Qualities.
(His good and bad qualities?)
He's got plenty of great qualities ; responsible, supportive, funny, and attractive, making him total boyfriend material. Like everyone else, he has flaws; he can be really egocentric, always showing off his looks and skills, even though everyone already knows what he's capable of. It's just how he is, but sometimes it might make you feel a bit insecure or less important in the relationship.
R: Rules.
(Do you have any rules in your relationship?)
Rule number 1 : never underestimate him, or he'll break up with you. Rule number 2: trusting each other, is crucial, without it, your relationship could fall apart. Rule number 3: express your feelings openly, give him praise, and shower him with compliments.
S: Sad.
(How he cheers you up when you're sad?)
It can swing either way – he might make you laugh and lift your spirits, or he could say something that deeply offends you. If he's all about you, flirting, tickling, promising your favorite food, and cuddling protectively, he's sure to bring a smile. But, if he cracks just one egocentric, self-absorbed joke, you're gonna snap.
T: Teasing.
(How he teases you?)
Gojo loves to see you mad at him, he finds amusement with your annoyed expressions, that's why he pulls pranks on you so often. After arguments he places things on the higher shelves so he can tease you about your height, tall or short in all cases he looks like a giant next to you “oh can't reach that babes? lucky for you your handsome man is 6ft tall”. Would also make you blush and tease you a lot if he catches you staring at him.
U: Unique.
(Something unique or special about him?)
He's got this adorable habit of doodling, and surprisingly, he has a bunch of markers. He likes doodling on your shoes and phone case. These doodles usually reflect his mood. He's actually quite talented. His drawings often bring a smile to your face or make you laugh.
V: Vulnerability.
(Is he vulnerable in your relationship?)
Being vulnerable is tough for him; it hurts his ego and shatters the image he maintains as the strongest. When he's sad, he avoids letting his facial expressions betray him. Despite trusting you, he prefers to keep his worries to himself, even if it feels overwhelming. When he's emotional, he retreats into solitude, needing time alone with his thoughts until he calms down or figures things out.
W: Wedding.
(How would he propose?)
Even in serious moments like a marriage proposal, he keeps it playful. He might take you to the top of a building at night to enjoy city lights, and then suddenly, he drops the bomb: "I think we shouldn't be dating anymore." It gets super serious; you might even tear up, wondering what went wrong. He silently watches as you bombard him with questions, then out of the blue, he suggests, "Let's get married instead," leaving you completely stunned. With a silly smile, he adds, "Hm so what do you say? I even brought you a ring," pulling out a velvet box from his pocket. He makes up for the scare with a romantic night afterward.
X: Xtra.
(Extra headcanon)
Surprisingly, he enjoys gossiping and spills all the details, especially about those higher-ups. He uses a bunch of curse words and can spend hours talking shit about them and about how much he wants to use his curse technique on them to get rid of them. You often join him in these gossip sessions, especially when someone gets on your nerves.
Y: Yuck.
(Something he hates in general or in you?)
Gojo dislikes weakness, especially in people with potential but are afraid to try or improve themselves. With his strength, weakness irritates him. He hates it when you gives up on something you're good at just because you're anxious or lack self-confidence. He'll go out of his way to try and motivate you and knock some sense into you.
Z: Zoo.
(Does he like pets?)
Gojo is open to the idea of having a pet, like a puppy, because they're energetic and adorable. However, his busy schedule doesn't allow him the time to properly care for it—feeding, showering, and regular walks. But if you insist, he might consider it.
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lace-coffin · 9 months
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Hello! Could you please write something about The Collector (Asa Emory) who falls madly in love with fem!reader who lives a very lonely life? At first the man begins to stalk the reader, but one day he still decides to kidnap her and brings her to his den in order to give her a happy life that she truly deserves. Thank you so much!🦋🌺💖
Asa Emory x lonely!fem!reader
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Requests are open!
I really hope you like this! Thank you a bunch for the request I love writing for this silly little guy !
You could try convince yourself that your life wasn’t mundane but…let’s be honest. It’s the same in and out, wake up, drag yourself to uni running on a cup of shitty instant coffee, try keep your eyes open and focus on said lecture, grab something quick to eat on the way home and then rot in bed until it’s time to sleep and start the cycle all over again.
It wasn’t like you didn’t have any friends, well not many but that’s beyond the point. You just don’t see each other much, always busy with university or work, god knows you don’t have the energy to meet up on your free days anyway. Keeping up relationships was always a struggle for you and it felt easier to just quietly drift.
Despite this you still get lonely, it can be an isolating existence when the only people you interact with daily are your lecturer and maybe the shop staff. Unfortunately narrating to yourself at home doesn’t count as company.
Little did you know that your lecturer had taken interest in you, he didn’t really have reason to in your mind, but to Asa you were different, reclusive and usually quiet, didn’t answer many questions but usually knew the answers when asked.
You stood out to him despite your best efforts to blend into the background noise of the class. Asa loves to dissect people like you, he finds there’s often more under the surface than you expect, maybe a reason for their timidness, or an unexpected shady social life. This is why Asa is currently keeping a good distance between you as you go about your day, lurking just far enough as not to raise suspicion but close enough to study you like a bug under a lens.
This was not the case for you. Asa couldn’t help but feel a little disappointed, instead of some shady back alley business or home drama he just witnessed a depressingly mundane day. Maybe you would meet a friend after uni? Maybe you would come home to a lover? Maybe you would have a fun hobby? None of those things.
Asa watched through the blinds as you sling a microwave meal in and slouch at the table, resting your head on the cheap wooden surface and groaning in defeat. To be honest Asa was bored out of his mind, having been trailing you for the entire evening and witnessing nothing of interest. After you lay in bed and start having some kind of breakdown, Asa thinks he’s seen enough, deciding to leave.
Later in the evening Asa can’t stop wondering about you, surely you can’t be content living like that, a young women like you should be in your prime years, eating at cute cafe’s with your friends and partying on the weekends, right? At least that’s what Asa thinks the 20 somethings are doing these days, he’s to old for this.
This won’t do, it’s not like you’re an unpleasant person, always an angel in his lectures but keeping to yourself, the way you move to put your hand up to answer questions but pull it back in shyness is endearing to Asa. Sometimes he asks you anyway because he feels you deserve to be heard.
After a few weeks and a couple more days of watching you, you wake up contorted into a box. Fantastic. You go through the motions as all captives do, the hysterics, crying, pleading, fighting and bolting. Usually this part is the most inconvenient for Asa. He’s never threatened by it, knowing well that he’s the one in control. With you he can’t help but want to coo and tell you everything will be ok if you’re good for him. Maybe he’s getting soft. Or maybe you just have that effect on him.
Time passes, a few months maybe, and things are better. Your body has softened out a little from your masters insistence on you eating good balanced food, a healthy glow in your cheeks and a little extra fat on your curves. You still attend lectures at the uni only now you’re arriving with Asa and parting ways until class starts, not wanting to raise any suspicion. It turns out it’s a lot more helpful to just have your tutor at home if you get stuck with work, Asa loves teaching you anyway, getting to talk about his special interest to his favourite pet? Beautiful.
On your free days you visit restaurants and events together, the way your face lights up when you try a new yummy food or find a cute trinket tugs at your owner’s heart. Sometimes you think about how you could just run now and not look back, easily lost in the sea of people at the market, however the idea no longer appeals like it did months ago. Given the choice you wouldn’t want to leave anyway, tied to your master so deeply by now. Call it love or Stockholm syndrome, you don’t care anymore, your days finally feel more like a new opportunity and not a burden. You look forward to weekends again, Asa jokes an old man like him isn’t the best company but you wouldn’t want to spend the time with anyone else.
This is how it should be, how it should’ve always been. Asa thinks, as he unclasps your collar for the night. enjoying the pleasant hum you let out as he massages your neckline, rubbing his coarse hands over it gently, tracing the faint red lines the display of his ownership left behind. “Let’s get you to bed cricket” Asa says softly, scooping you up and depositing you onto your shared king bed. You waste no time in snuggling into his soft fuzzy tummy once he’s stripped off his day clothes and settled into bed. With one last chaste kiss to the forehead Asa leans over and turns off the lamp, draping his arms over you. “Goodnight cricket, I love you” “night sir, love u” you mumble back, already half asleep.
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Here's a two-parter idea for hc (idk this time if it's a full or a Mini, I'll let you choose ;) )
1. How do the M6 hold babies? Who's a natural and who has the stiff "toddler who's meeting their baby sibling for the first time" hold? Who likes them & vice versa? Who's the person you hand a baby to & then immediately have to take it back bc something about their aura immediately made the baby freak out?
2. Similar vein; like the wands in Harry Potter, we all know kids pick and choose who they like & nobody has a choice in the matter. Which of the M6 do kids like? Who's a natural child repellent? Who do the kids always undyingly attach themselves to even though by all means that person seems like the last parson the children would fall in love with?
Feel free to include the courtiers or any other side characters too if you like, I think that'd be funny
The Arcana HCs: M6 with Kids
~ @themushroomgoesyeet this started out as a mini-hc and then I got so carried away I turned them into a full series. XD thanks friend! ^.^ - brainrot ~
Julian
Loves kids!! so young! so small! so full of life and energy!
Kids tend to be initially cautious when approaching him (he's so tall, and edgy-looking, and kind of loud)
But as soon as he notices them he's folding up his gangly legs so he can crouch at their level and make eye contact and ask them about their day and introduce himself to their toys
And oh my, the stories he comes up with - it's not uncommon for you to lose him in the marketplace and come back about thirty minutes later to find him seated on a crate, about fifteen children of varying ages sitting in front of him, hanging onto his every word with stars in their eyes as he props up a toddler with one hand and wildly gestures with the other
Depending on how enthusiastic his audience gets and how much time he has to work with, he may or may not teach them the basics of improv and catch them up in acting out his story
It's impossible to pull him away once he's appointed different kids to their roles and gotten them started on his fantastical adventure
Remembers all their names and faces and preferences and goes out of his way to wave hello to them if he ever spots them while he's out and about
Asra:
Kids love the look and smell and feel of them but they rarely approach them because of how generally detached they seem
He's quite fond of kids himself, and they will straight up worship him if he puts effort into connecting with them, but most of the time he's too lost in his own wanderings to get around to it
Has strong feelings about their well being though, and will drop everything if they see one in need of assistance and not receiving it
Always accidentally ends up in a teacher's role (it's his infinite patience), he's just bad at knowing what might or might not be a good idea to teach them
How to knit? Wonderful! Now they have a new, soothing, productive hobby and skill set
How to pick a lock? No!! Now they're going to apply their scary levels of creativity and tininess to getting access into spaces they really shouldn't be in!
Known to randomly distract them during scary public things (you found them putting on an impromptu magic show in an alleyway for all the kids in the street right after a nasty cart crash)
Has an easier time with kids than with babies. Babies can't talk, if something's wrong they just cry while you try to troubleshoot
Nadia
She regards them with distance and respect and they do the same for her
It's much easier to care for them with improved infrastructure and accessible education than it is to learn what kinds of bodily fluids are normal on a child and what kinds aren't
(spoiler alert - snot is normal. snot is expected. snot will be everywhere. snot can never be fully cleaned up.)
Kids pick up on this, and are generally more likely to admire the very pretty lady from a distance than they are to walk up and start talking to her
Every now and then, though, some precocious child will start following the trail of her perfume, which will lead them to her skirt, which they will bury their snot-covered face in because it's soft and smells nice
And every time, without fail, Nadia will pause what she's doing and bend down to politely introduce herself and ask for their name without a single though to the mess on her clothes
She actually does better with babies than with kids, because it's easier for her to hold and physically protect a baby than it is to try to have a conversation with a child and quickly discover just how different Toddler Logic is from Adult Logic
Muriel
Small children congregate around him in droves and he has no idea why
They are small, they are fragile, they are living creatures who do not deserve to be hurt or abandoned, why are they crowding around his feet instead of holding onto their parents???
From a child's point of view, it's quite logical
Man is tall. Man is quiet. Man stands still. Man has gentle aura. Man provides shade. Man is clearly a tree (for chilling next to, and attempting to climb on, and occasionally bringing flowers to)
If Muriel can muster enough courage to break his initial "freeze" response, he'll find a corner to sit in so he can be extra stable and not run the risk of accidentally crushing someone
You found him like this once at a party, sitting still as a stone, with two kids chatting with each other on his lap, one scaling the sheer cliffside of his back, one perched on his shoulder sticking flowers in his hair, and two more playing with his hands (which are easily the size of their faces)
He gave you the same look you'd expect from someone stuck with a cat sleeping on their lap
Will listen to and remember any story he gets told and mention it later in conversation
Portia
Loves kids!!! x2
Unfortunately, she tends to scare the shy ones off at first with her intensity, which does make her cry herself to sleep sometimes
She has both the physical energy and the delightful imagination that perfectly suits her to joining into any game the kids around her come up with and making it one of the most exciting experiences of their tiny lives
She's also brilliantly prepared to comfort a child through any burden their small souls carry
Runny nose? She's got a handkerchief. Skinned knee? She's got band-aids. Dehydrated? She's got a water bottle. Hurt feelings? she gives the best (seriously, the best) comforting hugs
Nobody can mediate squabbles like she can (she brokered a trade deal with Firent, she can easily handle playground territory fights)
Over the years she's become the confidant of many tiny ones and you've caught her more than once mending a torn skirt or fixing a broken toy for a kid who didn't want to have to confess to their parents and face the consequences on their own
Does she fill you in on all the little one's gossip and drama? Of course. Does she take it just as seriously as her job? Absolutely
Lucio
He likes kids more than he thinks he does. Unfortunately, they're not usually fond of him at first
When he looks at kids he just sees tiny people who aren't quite big enough yet to go to real parties or do anything interesting with him
That said, he also likes to help people. In the past it was partially to show off, but he genuinely enjoys making someone else's day brighter and knowing he was the reason for it
Plus, kids are considerably easier to impress than grown ups are
Children, on the other hand, are more likely to see a very loud blonde man with a scary metal arm and walk in the other direction
Lucio does not like it when anyone, child or otherwise, takes one look at him and walks away
He must convince them otherwise
Usually resorts to sweets (he's got his own weakness for cookies, even if he still has no idea how to make them)
You've watched him win the admiration of about thirty tiny people in fifteen seconds flat when he loudly proclaimed that he'd be buying any treat any children wanted from the baker's stall
To say that he was still talking about the stars in their eyes when they looked at him three weeks later is an understatement
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em-dash-press · 1 year
Text
Why Creative Writing Might Make You Anxious (Even If You Love It)
When I sit down to write, sometimes I get so anxious that my stomach gets queasy. It can happen even when I’m wondering if I’ll have time to write today.
Anxiety affects even the best writers, so let’s talk about why your favorite hobby might also put you on edge.
Your Stories Involve Topics You Care About
Great stories always have centralized themes. Your theme drives your plot, informs your character’s choices, and draws readers in.
They’re essential, but they can also be deeply meaningful. You might feel the weight of being a voice on the topic, even if you’re talking about it through a goofy or unrealistic story.
Solution: Remember that you’re continuing a conversation, not presenting yourself as the all-knowing leader on any given theme. Give your perspective and thoughts on the theme through your work. Your unique take is why your readers will pick up your work.
Your Work Relates to Your Past or Present
Inspiration comes from anywhere. You might get an idea while walking the dog, but you can also think of stories when reflecting on your past or present.
Sometimes that means opening up parts of our history that wounded us. They might still feel like pressing on a bruise, even if you’re only writing a story for yourself.
Solution: Be gentle with yourself if you’re writing about a deeply personal topic, event, subject, or period in your life. Recognize that your anxiety is likely your brain trying to protect you, not sabotage you. If you can’t let it wash over you and continue your writing, consider starting therapy before writing your short story or novel. OpenPath is a great affordable option, along with sliding-scale therapists in your town. You might need to process that sensitive subject before you can write about it.
Your Story Feels Complicated
Longer stories can be overwhelming, even if they’re stories we desperately want to finish. They might involve more plotlines than you’re used to handling or a bigger cast of characters you need to develop.
We grow as writers by taking on new creative challenges. A few things I want to remind you if you feel like this is the source of your creative writing anxiety:
There’s no rush to finish a story. Ever.
Give yourself extra time when you’re trying something new. You wouldn’t expect a new runner to finish a marathon in 2 hours.
Take breaks to reset your energy, especially when you feel frustrated or anxious.
It’s okay to not finish a story.
Read that one again.
It really is okay to not finish a story.
You might come back to it in a year or two or three when your plot management or character development skills are better. It’s never a mark of failure to leave a draft in a to-be-finished folder.
Solution: Read through the bullet points above. Be gentle with yourself. Practice in shorter story forms, even with the same characters. You always have the judgment-free choice to finish a story or delete it entirely.
You Don’t Have a Plot Outline
Free writing is great. It’s a completely valid way to write short stories and novels. Some people excel at it. Others need an outline.
You might feel anxious about your current writing sessions because you don’t know where your story is going or how it will end. It’s a normal thing to experience and doesn’t make you any less of a writer—even if creating a plot outline changes your writing method temporarily.
Solution: Acknowledge that it’s okay to change your writing process sometimes. Every story needs a different support structure. Write your story idea in a single sentence, then expand on it in a paragraph. You can transform that into a bullet-point list or outline that makes writing the story more manageable.
You Haven’t Been Writing For a While
Some writers dream of having the time to write every day. Others like to write, but wouldn’t want to spend hours every day with their latest draft.
No matter what you prefer, sometimes returning to the craft of writing can spark anxiety if it’s been a while since your last creative venture. Whether it’s motivated by guilt, embarrassment, or shame, you’re not alone. It’s a typical form of creative anxiety and it’s something you can absolutely handle.
Solution: Give yourself some slack. Writing routines always change. Sometimes life draws us away from our creative writing for months or years at a time. You’re still a writer. Whatever your story becomes will be valid.
You Have a Loud Inner Critic
We’ve all been there. You’re trying to write but your inner critic is holding you back. You might want to jump into editing so you only continue with a perfect draft. Maybe you’re constantly polishing your world-building or character details.
The pressure naturally translates into anxiety. It’s okay to step away from your work if this anxiety makes you uncomfortable. You can always return when your inner critic is distracted or you feel more naturally confident.
Solution: Ask that inner critic to take a backseat. They’ll give you a powerful advantage when you move from the writing phase into the editing phases. Linework and structural editing can always happen later. But to reach that point, you need a draft. Preferably, your worst draft possible. Go wild with your writing—that’s what a first draft is for.
-----
It’s okay to love creative writing and also feel anxious about it. I think the only time anxiety didn’t affect my writing was when I was a kid and had never received criticism, constructive or otherwise.
Be gentle with yourself as you reflect on your anxiety triggers and potential solutions. You’re in the for the long run. Sustainable help will be your best source of help.
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wonderingsoftly · 4 months
Text
Not Too Big
something i've been playing with that i like...wanted to populate the blog with a little quick, fluffy wg fic...just a boyfriend and girlfriend realizing they want him even bigger
no major warnings, just a lot of hugging and squeezing and admiring
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Theo gorged desperately on the pizzas he bought, chewing loudly and grabbing wildly at the next piece.
He had to get bigger. His mind screamed that it was a matter of keeping his beloved girlfriend, Charlotte, by his side.
There was no indication that she was unhappy, in fact she and him seemed to enjoy every minute together.
But…she was gone on a business trip for the next two weeks. He achingly remembered the way she ran her hand through his short blond hair and placed a kiss on his lips. She promised she would be back before he knew it.
He constantly checked her social media, staring at her pictures of the two of them, then looking at her latest posts--where his thoughts became prickly and relentless.
It was that latest picture.
Her smile was big and cordial as she stood with a big, fat man. Bigger than Theo was, and he far outsized Charlotte.
He was her coworker, and he had met him before, exchanging pleasantries. Theo had never been offended by him or anything, but every picture he saw of Charlotte with the man made him wind up tighter and tighter.
And then he snapped.
Theo was not a small man by any means, quite muscular and bulky himself, and he knew Charlotte liked him that way. He knew she liked big men, which was part of why they started dating in the first place.
They got on like a house on fire, immediately falling in love with each other and sharing hobbies and interests. Charlotte was kind and sweet and fun and endlessly attractive with beautiful, black, wavy hair and near-black eyes, deep and easy to get lost in.
He considered himself incredibly lucky to have landed her, and sometimes that translated into a bit of a need to do whatever he could to make sure she was happy. This wild train of thought was his latest attempt at this.
Though on the other hand, Charlotte was much of the same. She loved watching Theo show off his gains from the gym and would cook delicious meals after a strenuous workout. She praised him often and comforted him when he needed it. She encouraged him to reach his goals. She could rarely be seen without her hands on his skin in some way or another, always trying to be in physical contact with him.
And he…he couldn't bear to lose that.
So he had to get bigger. To his mind, it would be a surefire way to keep Charlotte around. More of him for her to touch and grab.
He ate even more furiously, his stomach starting to protest against his jeans.
He would load and bulk up tonight, cutting the rest tomorrow at the gym. He’d put these calories to work and grow.
Though…a small part of his mind didn't mind if his belly pooched out or if his muscles were padded with a nice layer of fat. It would only make him look bigger, give him more leverage to lift heavier and heavier weights, and in turn make him even bigger.
He imagined Charlotte's eyes looking him all over as she returned to him, his arms and chest pumped and heavy.
Some might call this a dirty bulk, but…bulk was bulk to Theo at this moment in time. He was desperate to fight against his spiral, and the only solution that seemed to stop his brain was preparing calories and energy to change into gains.
He would sleep soundly once the pizza was gone, knowing he’d be big for Charlotte.
***
The day of Charlotte's return arrived, and Theo struggled to button the nice shirt he had bought a few months ago. His stomach firmly fought against the buttons with every closure he managed.
He exhaled long, trying to flatten his torso enough to close up the shirt. With some effort, he managed, but in the mirror it was evidently clear he was one sudden movement away from popping the buttons off.
Perhaps his dirty bulking worked too well.
Even his arms strained in the short sleeves, the lack of stretch emphasizing their size.
He heard the doorknob start to turn and he rushed out to the living room, the shirt’s buttons creaking slightly.
He got into place, eagerly watching as Charlotte walked in, her smile wide and relieved.
“Theo…” she said happily, like music to Theo’s ears.
He rushed to hug her, sighing happily as he felt her arms wrap around and squeeze his torso.
Where she belonged.
“You look good, Theo,” Charlotte murmured, rubbing his back.
Theo's stomach somersaulted at her touch and comment, and he felt vindicated. It had worked. She was happy.
“Thought I might…work hard to bulk up a little extra for when you got back,” he admitted. “It’s surprising how much I could do in two weeks.”
“Aw, for me?” Charlotte giggled, looking up at Theo. Her cheeks were flushed pink and she gave his side a squeeze.
“Always for you.”
They hugged close again, breathing slowly and happily.
All was well again. Or so Theo thought.
“I…wanted to talk to you…a little about this, actually,” Charlotte said reluctantly, patting his stomach and then rubbing his arm.
Theo's heart dropped, immediately thinking of the worst case scenario. Her return had been amazing, what could she mean?
“Nothing bad, really!” Charlotte gasped, sensing Theo's fear. “But I just…I mean, I was thinking about it while I was gone and how you know I like how big you are…”
Theo looked at Charlotte curiously, his fear starting to dissipate a bit. She was blushing dark now, looking at her hands as she wrung them together.
“I kept thinking of you the whole trip…and how I…I’ve been wondering just how big you want to get? And if maybe…I don't know, I’m sorry–”
“Do you like this? The muscle and…the little extra?” Theo asked quietly, gesturing at himself.
“I love the muscle, but Theo…seeing you stretching this shirt–you’ve only worn it once before, and it was almost a little loose.” Charlotte laughed nervously, pushing some hair behind her ear. “If your ‘little extra’ did that…I…”
Her pause sent a shiver through Theo.
She looked at him longingly. “I want so much more.”
Theo looked at Charlotte in shock. A slow smile crept across his lips, pulling her in a tight hug.
“I…got a little jealous seeing you in those pictures with…what's his name, the big guy… Paul?” He sighed.
Charlotte let out a sad little whine. “Oh, I’m so sorry, baby.”
“No, no, it's not your fault, but…I just…wanted to be the big guy you’re always next to. I…let myself get carried away in my thoughts and just wanted to be there in his place, so badly.”
Charlotte laughed, squeezing Theo’s middle.
Theo moaned out a sigh, relishing the way her arms wrapped around him. She could barely reach her arms all the way around him.
His thoughts wandered to future possibilities. What if her arms couldn't reach totally around him at all…? If there was so much of him she’d never get bored…to lay on him at night, comfortable and warm.
“So, so badly, Charlotte…” Theo moaned in a low voice, his thoughts putting him in a warm, longing haze.
She squeezed him again, rubbing her cheek on his chest, the fabric of his shirt pulled tight and smooth over him.
Charlotte pulled away, Theo placing his hands on her hips. She trailed her fingers up the straining buttons, picking at the little bunches of fabric where the shirt closed.
She smiled, tapping the top button with her finger, looking up at Theo.
Her cheeks were flushed and her eyes were tantalizingly dark. Theo felt his own cheeks heat up as all of Charlotte's fingers now rested on the same button.
With a small pop, Charlotte skillfully pushed the button through the hole, and his shirt opened in slight relief.
He silently begged her to keep going.
Charlotte's fingers trailed down to the next button, doing the same. His shirt opened more and more eagerly with every undone button, revealing his soft skin.
She reached the final button, his pooching belly freed from the shirt.
Theo let out a sigh of relief, finally registering just how tight the shirt was.
She hummed appreciatively and ran her hands over his stomach, gently dragging her nails over his skin. She patted his stomach, making him jiggle slightly.
Theo chuckled, placing his hands on hers.
It seemed like he and Charlotte were on the same page.
“Would you…be okay with getting nice and big for me? Maybe…a little less gym time and a little more eating time with me?” She looked up at him with big, wide eyes.
Theo blushed, running his thumb over her cheek. “Something tells me you’ve given this some thought already.”
“Well…I had a lot of alone time at night. Missing you…and maybe sometimes I let my thoughts run away with me…”
“Let’s do it then. I'll make more time to eat whatever delicious stuff you cook up and then we can cuddle.”
“Um…” she started, her gaze falling nervously to his stomach.
Theo tilted his head curiously, wondering her next thought.
“I know I just unbuttoned you, but…I also…want to see you…” she paused, her voice trailing off.
“I want to see you pop the buttons off this shirt,” Charlotte quickly sputtered, her blush now reaching her ears.
Theo looked at her blankly for a moment, processing her request.
He began to belly laugh when it finally registered. He pulled her into another hug, feeling her wrap her arms around his torso under his shirt.
Her arms were cool and soothing and her cold hands sent goosebumps over his body.
“Let's make something to eat then. I'm probably only a few spoonfuls of something away from busting this shirt open, anyway.”
Charlotte responded with a low, pleased laugh, giving Theo another squeeze.
***
Theo looked at himself in the mirror hanging on their closet door, his sides actually outsizing the width of it. He bit his lip, shuffling a little uncomfortably as he placed his hands on his round, hanging belly.
He was big. Almost 450 pounds big. Bigger than he’d ever been. But it was as they had planned over two years ago. It was just…surprising to really observe himself.
He turned to the side, one hand still on the top of his belly and tracing his eyes along the sagging bottom line of his stomach. It hung almost completely over his waistline, making an apron over his hips. His pecs were now sagging breasts, connecting to his back rolls. His eyes came back up to his face, still framed by his short blond hair, but his cheeks round and full–his neck basically disappeared beneath his double chin.
Charlotte kept insisting that he was incredible. She praised his expanding waistline, all the while giving him third and fourth helpings of the decadent dinners she made almost every night.
“My arms too…” he said with a sigh, lifting and wobbling his massive, soft arms. What definition he once had was totally covered by fat. He gently squeezed his left arm with his other hand. Warm and wobbly…he gave it a gentle pat and made it shake.
“You can still move around! And really well!” he could hear Charlotte's sweet voice in his head, remembering when he asked about her thoughts on his weight so far after he had found he had outgrown his favorite shirt.
“You're in great shape,” he remembered her voice cooing as she gently rubbed her hands on his stomach, uncovered by the outgrown shirt. That would have been debated by almost anyone else, but from Charlotte's mouth, he treated it like gospel.
Oh, and he loved that feeling. Her cool hands on his always-warm skin. The way her dark eyes sparkled as she admired him, when he accepted the next serving of dinner she would offer him.
And she was right, he was still able to get around. While his walk had become a waddle, he still considered himself pretty strong, helping her around the apartment with the heavy lifting chores--under the couch, moving the tables, things like that. He would only rarely be out of breath, and he was as sweaty as he usually got when he used to regularly exert himself at the gym…
Though, admittedly Charlotte insisted he stay seated and just relax while she took care of him, especially after a big meal. She didn't want her enormous prize of a man to have to worry about what she called ‘little things.’
When he sat, he took up almost all of the couch, Charlotte often squeezing herself next to him and absently jiggling his rolls as they watched a movie or show and snacked. His huge legs spread to make room for his giant belly and he found himself resting his arms on it. He had to admit that he was making a good place to set bowls within reach to munch from.
He let out a short exhale as his legs were starting to tremble from the effort of standing in place and observing himself for so long, his breathing starting to become heavy. He waddled himself around a little, watching ripples shake his huge rolls and belly. It took a moment for the shaking to settle, and Theo took a deep, satisfied breath.
But…besides all that, the clothes were really the only problem, and he was often in the comfy sweats and roomy athletic wear she had bought for him.
He was happy to let her spoil him too. Rough days at work? Delicious food. Tons of snacks with movies. The belly rubs, the increased intimacy…
She had always been loving and sweet, but it seemed like lately she was always running her hands over him and having increasingly lingering hugs. He definitely noticed the times she gave his sides a long, jiggling squeeze, but…man, it felt so good.
She knew all the best places to grab and squish, and she knew how to make him feel like he waa a god. Her hands traveled over every roll and curve he developed, her eyes sparkled every time he stepped on the scale.
She's would lovingly rub his huge belly, gently slapping and wobbling him around. It felt so good, and he would moan happily as she played. And when they went to bed?
Theo smiled smugly at himself, thinking of how excited Charlotte got almost every night when she watched him wobble himself to bed and heavily land himself on the edge. The little pink and purple hickies all over his covered chest were evidence of such.
Everything he had been afraid of losing that one night Charlotte came home was nothing but a distant dream now. Charlotte was totally his and he was all hers.
And you know?
Maybe he actually wasn't that big. Sure, it was the biggest he had ever been, but his girlfriend loved him more than ever.
He grabbed his belly and gave it a shake up-and-down. It bounced and jiggled and he felt himself smile with surprising satisfaction.
And he couldn't deny he liked it too. He wasn't enormously big, but he liked being the biggest guy in the room now. The way everyone acknowledged when he entered, his girlfriend holding tight to his huge arm. Her affectionate belly pats when they talked to their friends. Doorways were smaller, seats struggled to contain him, and he eclipsed Charlotte with his huge body.
And it was fine. He wasn't too big. He could still walk, still go out with Charlotte–it would even be fine if he got a little bigger. She always found a way to help him fit through and into places. He wore his huge, fat body well and Charlotte loved it. What would a few more pounds be?
His sweet girlfriend would be back soon with bigger clothes and they could settle down for another nice meal. He was feeling especially hungry now too. Maybe she picked up a giant meal from his favorite barbecue place? He figured he would call her and put in a request if she had nothing else planned.
He smiled at himself in the mirror, his chubby face grinning back at him. He hefted his belly up again and let it drop, watching it jiggle.
“I’m not too big. I’ve still got room to grow,” he said to himself with a pleased smile.
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aphrostarot · 5 months
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A Message From Someone Who Loves You Pick a Pile
As this is a general collective reading, some things may not resonate with you or your situation. DO NOT try forcing it to fit. If you would like to book a personalized reading with me go to my profile and follow the instructions on my pinned post.
If you enjoyed this reading and wanted to support me further you can do so by tipping me in the link in my bio or by booking a personal reading with me.
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Pile One:
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Who are the people who chose this pile?
Seven of Water, Ace of Air, and The Fool:
You are a very optimistic person at your core. You embody all of the characteristics of a dreamer, someone who never lets the world bring them down. This is not to say that you don’t think things through or are blindly optimistic, actually, you are quite the opposite. You are a very intelligent person who doesn’t make any decisions before you think it through first. You have so many big dreams and can imagine yourself accomplishing almost anything you set your mind on. Nothing can hold you back or make you change your mind when you’ve decided that something will bring you joy. Many people would describe you as someone who is constantly smiling, always happy, and seeing the world for the good not the bad. You know that there is bad in the world, you just choose not to dwell on it.
Who is this person coming forward with a message?
Patience, Nine of Earth, and Page of Earth:
First off, I want to start by saying that for many of you, this person may be someone you knew who passed away. For others, this may be someone in your spiritual team, a deity, an angel, etc. While for some of you, this may be someone who is still in the material realm that you know. This person could be an earth sign (Virgo, Capricorn, or Taurus) or just have a very down-to-earth chill vibe. They may also be someone who is or was very interested in the Earth or space, either as a career or as a hobby.
This person is very practical and ambitious, when they are interested in something they set their mind to it and stop at nothing to complete it. They are very successful and self-sufficient because of their ability to push through all the chaos and keep at it until they see the results they want. You may admire them for their ability to almost always have a practical solution for almost anything that comes their way. They are always growing and looking for ways to grow which is something you may try to emulate.
What is their message to you?
Justice, Four of Fire, Nine of Air, and Six of Air:
You have been struggling with anxieties and fear for quite some time and they see that. They are saying to you that there are people in your life that are making you feel this despair and you need to let go of them. You may be waiting for the right moment to get revenge but, they are telling you that karma will come around no matter what, they will make sure of it, and you don’t need to worry about that. What you need to worry about right now is yourself and the energy you surround yourself with, make sure you are keeping your space and your energy clear of negativity so you can get out of this darkness you’ve been finding yourself in.
Why haven’t you been able to receive this message?
Five of Earth, Eight of Earth, and Strength Reversed:
For those of you who resonated with this person having passed away, you have been stuck in that grief that when you feel their presence trying to get your attention you ignore them because it is too hard for you to address it. This is why you have not been able to receive this message. For the other people that this person is still in the material realm, you have been feeling that loss and grief more towards yourself, and your belief in yourself. Since you have been surrounded by negative people and energy for so long, they have drained you of your energy, making you believe you aren’t worthy which is why you have been so blinded to this message trying to come through. This person has been trying to reach out to you, or maybe even has been telling you this but you have not been aware of it. You’ve been so distracted by the things in your life, maybe a hobby that you’ve been so focused on that when this person is talking to you, you may just brush them off. Or, you hear them trying to tell you that you need to let these people go because they are not good for you and you just don’t think you are strong enough or confident enough to do that or, you don’t want to cause any problems or drama so you stay in these negative relationships.
How can you better receive this message in the future?
Ten of Fire, and Messenger of Earth:
Patience is needed while you work through these messages. You have been in such a dark place and may be unaware of how the people in your life are the ones playing a huge role in why you have been in this darkness so, having this person trying to tell you to let them go comes as a surprise and your first reaction is to get defensive and shut them down. This is why you need patience, you are in such a sensitive state lately that allowing yourself time to process will really help you feel less frazzled and stressed out. It is also worth noting that you need to recognize how much responsibility it is to address the energies you keep in your life and when you start to approach cleansing these energies out of your life you need to be mature and sensitive towards others and towards yourself.
Bottom of the deck energy:
Three of Water:
The Three of Cups is the card of friendships and community, as well as celebrations and gatherings. So, having this as the overall energy of this reading is again, clarifying that you need to look at the energy you keep around you, especially in your friendships. When you want to throw a party or are invited to one, before you go or start inviting people, be careful and mindful of the people who you want around you so you don’t keep bringing yourself down.
There is a lot of Aries energy in this pile so, you could be an Aries or have strong Aries placements.
I was also getting a lot of images of bugs coming through while I was doing this reading, specifically stink bugs, so that may be a symbol for some of you.
More Specific Messages (Extended Reading)
Pile Two:
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Who are the people who chose this pile?
King of Swords, Four of Swords, and Death:
You have gone through an ending of some sort in your life recently. I believe that this ending was a relationship, either a friendship, or a romantic relationship, and because of this, you have been feeling heartbroken, not knowing what happened in that relationship and why this ending happened. Because you have been feeling so upset and down in the dumps you have been giving yourself time to rest, wanting to hide away and not show your face because you know you won't be able to hide how you’ve been feeling. I was feeling very nauseous while doing this reading so, many of you may actually be experiencing physical sickness not just mental sickness because of this ending. For those of you who can’t hide away all day long and have to go out in public for work or for whatever reasons, I believe that you have been forcing a smile and pretending everything has been just fine in your life while you have actually been really struggling internally. Lots of you may be feeling like your brain has been in a fog like it’s been moving slower than usual. There was a very heavy, dark energy with this pile, I had to walk away and finish this reading another day. Many of you have been living in that darkness for quite some time now and I am sorry that you have been experiencing this, I hope that this reading can help bring some light and healing into your life.
Who is this person coming forward with a message?
The Lovers, Five of Swords, and The Empress:
I think this is why it came as such a shock to you that this person could ever do something to betray you because they are such a kind and nurturing person. They have such strong feminine energy, giving off strong maternal nurturing energy that you would've never thought that they would be the type to hurt you. I think that what you didn’t see though, was that this person was also hurting, they were going through some sort of conflict in their life when they did whatever it was that they did to hurt you. I believe they had no intentions of hurting you with whatever they did, it feels almost like it was a miscommunication between the both of you that caused this fallout. Based on the energy I am getting from this person I believe that they miss you and they never meant to hurt you. They are deeply saddened by what happened between the two of you.
What is their message to you?
Five of Wands, Three of Pentacles, Five of Cups, and Page of Swords:
Like I said above, this person is deeply saddened by the loss of you in their life and they really want to reach out to work things out with you. They may have already been trying to reach out but you have them blocked or just have ignored all of their messages. They want to get together with you and explain to you their side of the story. I don’t know if they want to start a relationship with you again, but I do know they want to talk with you to explain everything that happened. It feels to me that they don’t like leaving things on a bad note and they want to resolve these issues so that there is no bad blood between you anymore.
Why haven’t you been able to receive this message?
Seven of Wands, Knight of Swords, Two of Cups, and Two of Swords:
When you were with this person you thought they were a soul mate of yours that you two were destined to be in each other's lives forever, but then they did something that betrayed you and now you are in a state of defending your ego. Not wanting to even see this person because it hurts too much and you have put up walls trying to protect yourself from getting hurt and embarrassed like that again. However, all of that being said, there is a part of you that wants to hear this person out because you still care for this person deeply and that makes you even angrier because you wish you were the type of person who could just drop somebody without thinking of it but you’re not, you are very sensitive and this may be something you are embarrassed about. On top of all of that, you may be the type of person who doesn’t open up to someone very easily and you open up to this person only for them to betray you, which is another reason why you are not willing to hear this person out. You are very embarrassed and hurt at this moment and are on the defensive, trying to protect yourself.
How can you better receive this message in the future?
Queen of Swords, The World, and The Hanged Man Reversed:
I believe that there is a part of you that understands that this person is desperate to communicate with you and that part wants to hear them out but you are on the defensive and are letting your pride get in the way of this. What you need to do is let this go, stop letting your ego dictate your moves at this time. I know this is hard to do but once you do this you will heal parts of yourself you feel will never heal. The Queen of Swords is someone who is very good at making decisions without letting their feelings get in the way and this is something you need to embrace for you to hear this person out. You are moving nowhere in your spiritual and healing journey by letting your ego drive you in this moment and your guides are telling you here that by letting this side of you go, you will be able to move forward.
With all of the swords coming out, there is strong Air energy in this reading. So, you could be a Libra, Aquarius, or Gemini or have these placements in your chart. There is also strong Cancer energy with this pile as well so you could have Cancer in your chart or this person could also be a Cancer.
Bottom of the deck energy:
Ten of Swords:
The Ten of Swords is the card of victimization and betrayal. So, this is another confirmation that you are feeling this betrayal and feeling like a victim at this moment.
More Specific Messages (Extended Reading)
Pile Three:
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Who are the people who chose this pile?
Seven of Pentacles, Seven of Wands, Six of Wands, and Five of Swords:
Right off of the bat pile three it seems that some conflicting energies are coming out for you. On one hand, you are seen as a very successful and patient person who embodies the definition of perseverance and contemplation. However, on the other hand, you are also in a very difficult place right now. Internally you are struggling. You may believe that you have to constantly prepare yourself for opposition in everything you do in life. This may be a defense mechanism that you have developed because of people in your life constantly belittling and second-guessing every step you take. However, based on the energy of this reading I do not believe you need to be defending yourself. I don't believe that there is anyone in your life at this current moment who has the intention of putting you down. But, you still feel like there is so, you are in a place at the moment where you are jumping down people's throats for no reason. I believe that you are very spiritual. You have strong intuition and you know this but you may be afraid of it, so you stuff it down and ignore it which is not helping you at all. This may be why you have been struggling to discern whether or not people have negative intentions toward you or not.
Who is this person coming forward with a message?
Ten of Wands, Seven of Swords, and Ace of Cups:
This person who is coming forward with a message for you is a mentor of some sort. For many of you this may be a deity that you worship who is helping you in your spiritual practice, for others this may be your inner child coming forward with a message for you. This person may seem like they are intentionally hiding things from you and not giving you the full picture, which is why I believe that for many of you, this is a deity that you work with. This person has a lot of love for you and is coming forward with open arms, wanting you to feel their love and warmth, but, they are also struggling deeply right now. I feel like this struggle they are facing is because of you. As I said before you are highly spiritual but you have been ignoring that side of yourself and since this person is a mentor for you, specifically in spirituality, they are struggling because you are not listening to their advice. It’s almost like you speak with them sometimes and ask them for help but you don’t actually listen to what they have to say to you and you aren’t actively working with them which is what is causing this struggle for them because they don’t understand why you are wanting to work with them when you don’t actually do any of the work.
What is their message to you?
King of Cups, Five of Wands, The Fool, and Quote:
The quote that is specific to this deck came out for you pile three. It says; “What we see in the symbology of tarot derives in large measure from our own intuition and, once revealed, reflects back upon each of us to further enrich our lives.” As I said above pile three, you are highly intuitive but you do not tap into it. Instead, you choose to ignore it and pretend it doesn’t exist, and to that, this person is telling you that your intuition is not a bad thing, in fact, once you start listening to it, it will actually improve your quality of life. The King of Cups represents an advisor, someone who is very balanced between their head and their heart. This person wants you to know that they are in your life to help you, to guide you and it is time you start to actually listen to what they have to say. They say you worry too much, that you think way too much about the what-ifs, and that you are letting your ego get in the way too much when it comes to your spirituality. Instead, you need to just let go, and let your intuition guide you with the aid of this person. It can be troublesome when you have control issues to let go and let something or someone else take control but, it’s important to remember that your intuition is also a part of you. So, when you’re letting go and letting your intuition take over it is still you in control just not the part of you that over-intellectualizes everything. Overall, it seems like their message to you is to stop hiding from your spirituality and to actually start tapping into it. It’s time for you to start living a spiritually fulfilled life.
Why haven’t you been able to receive this message?
Page of Cups, Knight of Pentacles, and The Star:
I think this is where I am getting your inner child coming forward. It seems as though your inner child is the reason you are not able to receive this message and I think this is because a lot of your defense mechanisms are coming from the wounded part of your inner child. You as you are currently, are very hard-working and practical, however, your inner child is the opposite. It seems like you have some very deep wounds from your childhood that you have not dealt with which is what has been causing you to block out these messages. Since you have not healed your inner child, and instead choose to ignore that part of yourself as well, you are stuck and will continue to be stuck until you address these issues that are holding you back and making you not see these messages that are coming through.
How can you better receive this message in the future?
The Emperor, The High Priestess, and King of Swords:
What is interesting to me, pile three, is that you have control issues yet, when it comes to healing parts of yourself and working on your spirituality, you act as though it is out of your control. I know I said above that you need to give up your control issues when it comes to your spirituality and listening to this mentor but that does not mean that you just give up and do nothing. You are still in control of your life and are in the driver's seat of your life so, what this means when it comes to your spirituality and your healing journey, is you need to listen to the advice of this mentor and then make the moves for yourself. Give up your control and need to be the one who makes all the decisions. Instead, let this mentor guide you while you implement their practice and advice into your life.
Bottom of the deck energy:
Six of Cups:
The whole underlying energy of this reading is nostalgia and memories. What this confirms for me is that some healing needs to be done when it comes to your past traumas because they are what is holding you back right now.
The colors gold and purple were big with this pile so, they may have some significance to you.
For some, it may be that you should start wearing gold jewelry, or surrounding yourself with gold decor while you practice your spirituality.
Fruit was a big symbol with this pile as well, specifically red fruit. To me, this is a message from this deity that they want you to start eating more red fruit and if you have an altar for this deity they may want you to leave them some red fruits.
I was also hearing “days of the week” so, some of you may need to start scheduling times throughout the days to sit down and work on your spirituality. For some of you, this may be the only way that you will actually do it.
More Specific Messages (Extended Reading)
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twst-drabbles · 5 months
Text
Floyd 11
Summary: You were smoking by the window when Floyd decided now would be an amazing time to dive into the pool you had installed. In his full form. And now he won’t stop looking at you for attention. Haa, you know what, you were in need of a distraction anyway.
(Hehehe the subject is rather heavy, but Floyd is as Floyd does, saying things seemingly vague but not really. Cheeky eel.)
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You’ve been working on getting rid of the habit, you swear. Sure sure, you don’t exactly look convincing when you’re leaning on the window sill, packet of cigarettes at hand as though they never left your side and taking gentle drags like you’re trying to savor it, but this was your first cig in a while. You had this same pack for about a few months.
It’s slow going, but you’re going. Soon you’ll stop. Soon you’ll be at the point where you’ll just forget the urge to reach for your lighter. But not today. There’s too much energy in your spine and your head has been itching. Waiting. Like it’s anticipating something even though there’s nothing.
Haa… you don’t understand this. You don’t know how to fix this.
You took a slow drag and breathed out. Something within you quieted a bit and you couldn’t help but close your eyes. Wind drifted over your face. It was nice. Relaxing.
Then you heard a splash. You and your cigarette were drenched in water.
“Hey!”
You opened your eyes to see a large Floyd lounging on his slick tail, lazily waving at you like he didn’t have the energy to do anything more, despite his big, toothy grin.
You snorted out water then sighed at the sight of your useless cigarette. You dropped it in the ash tray.
You thought you were alone, since everyone is usually doing their own thing outside or in their pocket homes, but you guess you can’t always rely on the convince of routine to keep you safe. Floyd saw you, clearly, and intentionally made a splash at you.
Floyd, when he first saw you, wanted in on this bad habit of yours. But, when you said no, he basically made it his job to stop you when he sees you. It’s easy to see it as him being childish. ‘If I can’t have it, you can’t either,’ type of thing, but that’s not quite it, now is it?
You want to get rid of this bad habit, so Floyd will be the menace to get you to slow down and stop. Weird, weird eel.
Well, not like you can ask for anything else. This too was something you appreciated, as annoying as he can be.
So, when you finally noticed that Floyd’s eyes have never once left you, you figured it would best to join him, if only to keep yourself from scratching that addicting itch.
“So,” Floyd slithered right next to your knees as soon as you sat down, “what’s bothering ya? You haven’t been that careless in a while, so what’s got you smoking right where I can see you?”
“Hmm, I don’t know,” you splashed your hands, attempting to scrub out a spot in your palm, only to find that that’s just another scar that won’t fade, “It just feels like something’s nagging at me. Kinda wound up. Tight. Can’t tell you why that is, though.”
“So that’s what made you smoke?” Floyd dragged his upper body out, not caring for the water that surged and soaked your clothes, “’Cause you can’t think of anything else that’ll make you feel better?” He picked at a loose thread laying on your thigh, pulled, then snapped it off. Another place for your clothes to fray open.
Lot of them have been falling apart, actually. Huh. You never noticed how worn out your clothes have been. Guess they’re just too old to handle any more stress.
“Don’t do that,” you said, though you did nothing to stop his claws from tugging the loose end of your shorts, “Well, I guess. It just easier to de-stress with a pack around and a lighter in your pocket. Not like I know anything that’ll help me.”
You had hobbies but those become hard to keep up with when you spent all that time just looking for your lost ones. And trying to get back into them, you know you’ll be frustrated at the decay in skills. So you’d rather not bother.
“Hmm,” Floyd lowered his head and plopped it right on your lap. He started to playfully tap your knuckles with his claws. “What about me?”
His tail exited the water and curled around you.
“What about you?” you grabbed his hand and gently pushed against the webbing between his fingers. He really had the gall to pretend to think about it, like there were no other choices for him to pick from.
“You can use me,” Floyd’s smile was small, cheeky as he basically trapped you in his tail, “in any way you like. That’ll help get the stress out, right?”
You can take a guess as to what he’s talking about.
You chuckled as you leaned back.
“Alright, then I’ll use you to rest my back,” you smiled at the frown that spread on Floyd’s face, “Resting is also de-stressing.”
“…you’re no fun.” Floyd grumbled but didn’t fight it.
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Text
The Knife in You Brings Out the Life in Me - Danny Johnson x Reader
Masterlist
Prologue ~
Summary:
Y/n was never close with her cousin Billy and hadn’t seen him in years, but when he shows up at her roadside home, running from the law and with a Stu on his arm, she figures it’s best to let him stay. He wouldn’t.. gut her? Right? Best not take any chances! The real kicker, however, is when their inspiration - the real and original Ghostface - shows up. She has less faith he’ll let her live if she isn’t careful.
"How could this happen? Am I dreaming again? Her body's not moving I'm assuming she's dead"
- The Greatest Story Ever Told, Ice Nine Kills
———
"Fuck, Billy! What'd we do now?" Stu stressed, knife in hand, gesturing wildly.
"Well... our face is on every news station, too many people around here know who we are." Like Stu, Billy still wore his shitty dollar store Ghostface costume, albeit their masks were tossed off to the side. Both were covered in blood, Billy slightly more so, and Billy was trying to keep his cool while Stu made every effort to panic.
"Ok, so.. we need to lie low?"
"Exactly. I have a rich cousin who doesn't live far from here, but still pretty out of the way. She's a recluse, we won't be bothered there... assuming she'll take us in."
After pulling off their first couple murders scot free, Billy and Stu decided they couldn't let the thrill go. Of course it was going to bite them in the ass eventually, but how were they supposed to know karma is a cold hearted bitch? Welp! They sure do now...
Their latest victim managed to get away, and while she didn't see their faces, she was damn sure she knew the killers. The two slash happy teens had taken a hit at another one of their classmates who they weren't too fond of, and they got cocky. Gave a hint hint, wink wink, at who they were behind the masks to scare the poor victim into thinking she was going to get her guts spilled by the guys who sit across the classroom to her in chemistry. It's all part of the thrill!
Except this time the bitch got away and ran to the police.
Stu was quiet for a moment before another thought occurred to him. "What about... you know who..? How will he find us if we drop off the map?"
"For all we know Danny's watching us right now! He's probably laughing about us fucking up.. he'll find us or he won't, that's up to him. Right now we need to get out of dodge."
———
Danny Johnson. The original Ghostface. Billy and Stu thought they were funny copycatting such a famous psycho. He was their role model of sorts.
Things changed when good ol' Jed Olsen started being pally with Billy and Stu, though. He was older. Sort of came out of nowhere. Knew things he shouldn't have known.
At first the pair were worried he knew what they were up to and just needed confirmation before going to the police, but Jed seemed to find it more funny than anything. He had this energy about him that made them cautious.
One night they were getting ready to start stalking another future victim (Miss run-away-and-blab-to-the-police funnily enough) when they got a phone call.
"Do you like scary movies?" The familiar staticky voice had spoken. "Who am I kidding? Of course you do! Why else would you both be starring in one? The question is... are you really the predators? Or are you actually... the prey?" The line had gone dead a moment later.
But when they shared a slightly concerned glance and decided to continue to leave for their midnight hobby, they opened the door to see a matching - though much more pristine mask  - staring back at them.
The Ghostface at the door didn't wear a cheap, scraggly, dollar store Halloween costume like Billy and Stu. He wore thick, black, sturdy material with straps and combat boots. Ohhh fuuuuuck... this guy is serious.
Danny gave them a good scare and let them fear for their lives for a while. Danny's a better killer than them. More experienced. More ruthless, and far more premeditated. But despite planning on killing them at first (they stole his entire thing, they couldn't get away with it, Danny had been planning this for a while) in the moment, he saw potential in them. Also they were a good laugh.
From then on, Danny took them under his wing and turned up when he felt like it to guide them in stalking and nurture their talent for murder.
Danny wasn't typically the kind of guy to help out other killers, especially ones who steal his likeness, but these guys had the same raw psychopathy that Danny sees in himself. And also, what the hell, he gets bored, they buy him free meals, they treat him like a god, what's not love!
And so Billy and Stu met their hero and dedicated their time to someday be as great as him. (Danny knew they'd never live up to him, he can always kill 'em when they get boring).
But now they've fucked up. Their victim got away. Danny's laughing and hiding in a bush somewhere vowing to never let them live it down. And Billy and Stu are hitching a ride to Billy's cousins place, hoping y/n will look past the blood and murder and let them crash for a little while.
———
A/N: ok this is the prologue for my new fic! Now I know I've written fuck all in a long time, and I apologise to anyone who's been waiting on updates to my other fics if you've read any, but I've got to go where the inspiration takes me!
I hope you enjoyed this little intro and please leave a comment if you have any ideas!
Have a great day/night,
~ trick-or-fucking-treat
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