#and now I'm on 12 hours awake after sleeping with 6 hours left on my current shift

[7thedisasterdyke]

...

(vent in tags, you can respond if you want)

[beautifulplaceofyouth]

CHAPTER FOURTEEN | SERIES 

Excuse me for spelling the chapter number wrong, I was in a hurry and didn't have time to change it.

Ch. 1

Ch. 2

Ch. 3

Ch. 4

Ch. 5

Ch. 6

Ch. 7

Ch. 8

Ch. 9

Ch. 10

Ch. 11

Ch. 12

Ch. 13

Ch. 14 (End)

When you keep bumping into your personal royal guard by accident not knowing he is your guardian angel

Pairing: Jeon Jungkook!fallen angel!royal guard! × fem!reader!virgin!princess 

Word count: 2.4k

Rating: 18+

Genre + warnings: Fluff, smut, angst, paranormal romance, historical fanfiction, Kook being cold and mysterious, and just being his sexy self. Possessive over his princess. Happily ever after with a fluffy and spicy scene involved. They have one more person in the family. Just a happy emotional ending. The story isn’t real, just my imagination running wild so just enjoy reading!

a/n: The long waited epilogue is here. I hope it's not too sloppy. I know it's pretty short, sorry. \: Haven't have time to publish it earlier because of health issues but I wanted to end the series finally so you don't need to wait longer! Enjoy .

TEN MONTHS LATER

Jungkook POV

Leaning back in the chair, he felt exhausted from the paperwork which needed to be done because of his kingdom's new adjustments and changes since his wife started living with him so if he wanted this place to be peaceful for her health, he needed to get it sorted out.

It meant better security around the castle and banning all the people who wanted him gone from the throne. It was hard work for several months but it was time to be able to breathe better once he finishes everything.

Massaging his neck, he felt stiff after working so much in the office all day. He already missed his wife and the little sunshine.

He smiled at the thought.

She gave birth to a beautiful baby boy and he was grateful for her giving him such a gift. He had his wife's blue eyes, father's nose but already growing small wings which was surprising considering the fact his wife is just a human. He at least inherited something from his world too and he was glad that the baby boy will have freedom to fly like his father can.

His love for her was so strong that he even rejected his position as guardian angel from heavens above.

It was not a hard decision. He already knew he will have Y/n by his side for eternity but the high angel council was disappointed in him to lose his powers because of a human. Months later they started to see that they can't do anything to change his mind so they allowed him to live on earth and still have his wings at least for protection.

Now he had people to depend on. A beautiful family by his side and he couldn't be happier.

The link with his wife allowed him to feel her emotions and as he sat there, thinking about her, the distress was getting stronger than usual. He didn't understand why.

Mindlinking her, he sent her his thoughts.

"Are you awake, my love?"

His question was left unanswered so it meant that she is sleeping because it was late at night already.

Immediately standing up, he took his cloak as well as his sword and headed out of the door. He needed to find out what's wrong with her.

His royal adviser Minho, the fallen angel was already waiting by his chambers when he bowed to his king," Your Majesty."

"My wife. Is she inside?"

"Uh, yes. She hasn't been outside for several hours so I assume the young prince also is inside."

He furrowed his eyebrows," And you are informing me only now?" he glared at him, his eyes blazing with emotions.

Minho bowed again, trembling in fear," I'm sorry, Your Majesty. It will not happen again."

"You better. Now leave," dismissing him, he went inside his chambers.

Leaving the cloak and the sword on a small wooden bench by the door, he went further inside, only just to stop in his tracks.

His wife was sleeping on a rocking chair, holding their baby boy, both were dreaming about something but the look on his wife's face worried him.

Is she ill? She was sweating.

Silently approaching them, he took his son in his arms when she blinked her tired eyes open," Jungkook?"

"Hey, love," he softly whispered and leaned down to kiss her forehead, feeling her face burning," Do you have a fever?" His concern was obvious.

She shook her head and just closed her eyes. That alarmed him.

Taking his son to the nursery room, he put him inside the crib to sleep, kissing his the crown of his head," Goodnight, Fin. I will go take care of mommy so sleep well my sweet boy," in response, the the baby boy just murmured something in his sleep.

Smiling, he went back to the living quarters to see Y/n in the same position as before.

He gently picked her up as soon as he reached the bed, putting her on the middle pillow where she usually slept in. It was strange that she wasn't moving at all. He could feel that she was burning, distressed about something.

Completely undressing from his attire, she didn't even resist when he pulled all of her clothes off so she isn't hot under the covers.

"Sweetheart, darling, are you sick?" His worried hushed tone made her whimper when she burrowed herself in his arms, suddenly shivering like she was cold.

This won't do.

Lifting her up in his arms again, he carried her towards the big bathroom where the biggest bath was located in their private space that they used for whenever they were together or for times when one of them has a headache. There was also a special medicine cabinet in case either of them have an emergency.

When he entered the bathroom, he quickly placed her inside the huge tub. Turning the tap for warm water, he let it run into the tub filling it up until it was nearly at the top. Then he turned off the water and added some smelling herbs for her to heal the body faster and possibly temperature will drop to normal again.

Taking the medicine for the headache and fever in the small bowl, he put it beside the tub for easier access.

Sliding behind her, he pulled her naked body between his legs, hugging her to his chest, her hair already wet and sticky against her skin. Gathering it together, he tucked her hair in front of her over her left shoulder so they doesn't tickle his nose that much.

Kissing her neck slowly, he takes one medicine pill and gently tips her head up with his hand beneath her chin, his fingers resting against her throat in a gentle hold," Open your mouth, baby."

Her tired eyes open with little strength as she obediently opens her mouth. Smiling at her, he slips the pill between her lips," Suck it gently. It's has a sweet taste to swallow better," he explains.

He watches her tongue wrap around the pill as she starts to suck it and he felt proud that she managed to keep it inside of her mouth so long before finally swallowing.

"Good girl," he coos, running his fingers through her long, silky hair and massaging the soft scalp.

She snuggled closer to him, nuzzling against him making him chuckle at her cuteness," Are you sleepy yet? You've probably been tired of nursing our son all the time and I haven't even checked your health. I'm sorry for failing you," he dropped his head against her shoulder in guilt.

Like a good wife she always is, Y/n lifts her hand over his head, massaging his hair gently," It's okay, Jungkook. I'm fine now because of you."

"No, it's not. You deserve more," he said as she moved away slightly and looked at him with sad blue orbs.

His heart clenched as he noticed how pale she was and how thin she has gotten over the past few months. "I promise I will spend time with you and our son more often now. It's just my duties require so much work that I..."

"It's okay, Jungkook. I know. You're the best husband and king in the world. To me you're perfect in every aspect. Times can get rough sometimes but that's why we are here for each other to support and help in the times of need. Being parents are not easy but I'm glad to be here with you, with our baby living the best life every woman could ask for. You've given me the world and I love you for that," her eyes are full of love for him and he can't help but feel tears forming in his eyes. It was hard to breathe for a moment.

He still couldn't believe that she belongs to him. This beautiful woman was his forever. And so is the son she gave birth to.

Taking her cheek, he seals his mouth over her inviting rosy lips, the tears escaping his eyes in silent waterfall. His emotions were too strong, too overwhelming.

The link between them showed him that she is really telling the truth. She loved him unconditionally and always would.

"I love you," his breath shuddered in fear to lose her, afraid to look away from her beautiful, soulful blue eyes.

As if reading his mind, she cupped his face between her hands, caressing his cheeks lovingly with her thumbs. Her eyes filled with joy and warmth which brought him happiness as well as relief.

A soft smile appeared on her lips," I love you too."

He never cried. Never. The life before made him grow up with nerves of steel but now the thought of something happening to her and his son, the thought of losing them scared him beyond belief.

But this time it happened. Everything came crashing down in a matter of seconds and he couldn't hold it in anymore. Not when she told him that she loves him. Forgives him for not caring enough about her feelings or health issues.

He was shaking uncontrollably as he held her tighter. His eyes shut tightly while he sobbed uncontrollably in her embrace.

She was ill so he didn't wanted to burden her with worry for him but she just held him tightly back, slowly straddling his lap, kissing him with all of her last energy from how tired she was but it was like she doesn't care. The only important thought was reassuring him, to show him how much she loves him.

Pulling slightly back, his eyes were blurry from the crying, probably red when he rested his forehead against hers," You're my whole world, Y/n. You and Fin are the most precious souls in my heart right now. I'm so happy that you chose me," his smile is brighter and this time his wife is holding her tears back but failing miserably when she starts crying and laughing.

When she calms down, she looks at him," We are such sappy fools."

He chuckles at that," You're right. We are a mess. But only with you," he says in a low voice and suddenly realizes their position when her clit slides against his hardness.

"Fuck," the feel of her wet slit against his throbbing cock makes him drop his head back on the edge of the tub.

"Baby...If you don't want me to fuck you right here, I suggest you to leave the tub. I'm really hard because of you," he whispers in husky voice, watching her carefully for her reaction.

She still blushes even after all these months together, even after giving birth, she always seem shy when he talks to her dirty.

"Sweetheart," his plead was enough to make her lift her hips in encouragement as she hid her face in his shoulder.

"All right," she breathes and that's what it took to grab her hips and push his length inside of her, sinking deep enough to feel her walls contracting against his length. He groans at the feeling that they're connected by nothing but skin and his arm wrapped tightly around her waist keeping her close to himself as he pulls out only a tiny bit then thrust back in with a strong thrust before taking her again.

"Jungkook ah," she whines in pain as he moves fast and harder.

Not able to take any more, he grabs her ass as he leans forward, lifting her body up high above the surface of the tub, spreading her legs enough to split her in two, causing both of them to moan loudly at their new position.

'Fucking hell! I can't stop myself. She feels amazing. Too good to be true. So beautiful.

"I'm so sorry, love. I can't help myself," he chokes out while pulling out to come deep inside of her once more.

Y/n throws her head back, screaming his name.

With an angry grunt, Jungkook pushes harder into her, grunting again in pleasure at the feeling of being filled, filling her until his balls hurt but he can't find any ounce of self control because of her and her smell, her taste.

He couldn't help the loud, guttural noises as his cock jerks against her, pumping so powerfully inside of her and he knows it's coming soon.

He knew that Fin is sleeping two rooms away but fuck, she felt incredibly good and he had to make sure this moment stays between them until they reach heaven and the end of their journey.

Pushing himself deeper inside of her, he holds her tighter to him, his body trembling with ecstasy. His eyes closed tight and he grunts louder, almost moaning," Come for me, Y/n..."

His thrusts became harsher, his grib beneath her ass leaving bruises but her moans only intensified as he comes faster and deeper into her, feeling how she clenches around him and the way his seed bursts inside her with one powerful thrust.

Silencing her last scream with his mouth, his tongue diving between her hot lips, he felt almost feverish as she when they both began to feel tired from the powerful orgasm. His thick forearms held her in the air till he slipped out of her, both of their cum dripping out in the water.

Lowering her back into his lap, she clings to him tightly, breathing heavily against his ear.

"You're incredible," he kisses her neck.

"And you're insane," she giggles softly, still out of breath," I feel like Fin will wake up after this because of us."

"Well, not my fault that my cock feels so good that you scream and beg for it more," teasing her, she only blushed but with a smile on her face.

Closing his eyes, he hugs her to him again before they go to the bed.

Not soon after there was crying heard outside and his beautiful wife pokes him in the ribs," Told you."

He rolls his eyes but chuckles," Yeah, yeah, yeah but this time you go to bed. I will take care of him, okay?"

She looks worried," But,-"

The stern look shuts her up when he kisses her temple," No, you need to rest. End of discussion."

"Fine. But come to bed after, will you? I miss your warmth," she pouts.

Kissing her one more time, Jungkook promises her," Always, Ms. Jeon. My queen.”

Since he was born, his duty was to protect Y/n and now he was glad that she has chosen him.

He will always love her and that will never change.

THE END

p.s. All images and gifs are not mine, some of the edits are mine edited but not every picture. All the credit goes to their rightful owners

DO NOT REPOST THIS WORK AS YOUR OWN BECAUSE THIS IS THE ORIGINAL OWNER’S STORY

Taglist: @lepau123 @the-princess-of-mischief-1998@11thenightwemet11 @khadeeeeej @almosttoopizza@jiminismine4ever (If you want to be tagged, please message me)

🅒 All rights reserved

[d3ath-on-2-legs]

So I managed to only eat 1052cal for the day (including the monster cal i had with vodka but fuck knows for the rest of the drinks, I've been drinking for 16 hours) and I'm happy with that. Got some fridge raiders after the first drink (6% local cider hit me like a brick after only eating a plain scrambled egg and carrot 5 hours before) and got some chicken bites and onion rings at spoons at about the 7 drink mark (6pm). Had some left over onion rings when we got back to my house for afters (10pm-ish) and that rounded off the day.

Its now 9am and we're just heading to bed, I'm not even going to try and count the calories in the drinks because 1) no idea how much I've actually had and 2) I don't think I want to know because I will hate myself.

On the plus side I'm not feeling that drunk anymore (even after being awake 25hr and like I said 16 of those drinking, witht the last drink being 5 mins before I came upstairs) but my insomnia is kicking in hard so I'm going to try and stay awake to reset my sleep to normal, plan on taking my sleeping pills tonight.

Saying that im only supposed to take 3x a week but I have 12 days until these pills expire and I have 12 pills...

Apparently they're highly addictive but these shits cost me like £10 I'm gonna use them.

God speed let's hope I don't get addicted.

Edit: I did not stay awake and woke up at 3pm

[wills-significant-annoyance]

"𝐼 𝑎𝑚 𝑛𝑜𝑡 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑐ℎ𝑖𝑙𝑑 𝐼 𝑤𝑎𝑠 𝑠𝑢𝑝𝑝𝑜𝑠𝑒𝑑 𝑡𝑜 𝑏𝑒." 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐈

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TW: child abuse, r@p3, blood, gore, self harm, ED, disassociation

aaaaa thank you @nicoswill2live and @k-is-for-potassium and everyone else who helped me!! (i was honestly overwhelmed about my notifs being blown and had a lil panic attack) this is also my pjo oc's backstory and some take place in books, altering the storyline so yeah!

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reminds me of aces backstory so yeah :)

━◦○◦━◦○◦━◦○◦━◦○◦━◦○◦━

"𝘐 𝘥𝘰𝘯'𝘵 𝘶𝘯𝘥𝘦𝘳𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘸𝘩𝘺'𝘳𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘥𝘰𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘵𝘰 𝘮𝘦.. 𝘐 𝘥𝘰𝘯'𝘵 𝘸𝘢𝘯𝘯𝘢 𝘥𝘰 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘣𝘶𝘵 𝘐 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘵𝘰. 𝘐'𝘮 𝘴𝘰 𝘴𝘰𝘳𝘳𝘺.." 𝘈𝘤𝘦 𝘴𝘢𝘪𝘥 𝘢𝘴 𝘩𝘦 𝘨𝘳𝘪𝘱𝘱𝘦𝘥 𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘰𝘣𝘴𝘪𝘥𝘪𝘢𝘯 𝘴𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘥 𝘣𝘦𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘦 𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘳𝘨𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘢𝘵 𝘈𝘭𝘺𝘻𝘻𝘢.

•❅──────✧❅✦❅✧──────❅•

Ace never knew who his real dad was. But he did know that his biological mom died when she gave birth...Which left him to his alcoholic father.

....

"Dad- I'm sorry-" A 7-year-old Ace cowered as he was hit with another alcohol botttle, shards of glass embedding themselves into his arms as he cried out in pain.

"Do you how much money I waste off you, you ungrateful brat?! And a D- is all you give me?!" Ace's dad yelled as he grabbed Ace's hair. "I'll show you what you deserve you son of a bitch!"

...

Ace was in his room, shaking as he was only in a sweater. Warm tears making themselves into his scarred skin as his dad zipped his pants up.

"Next time I won't be so easy on you, brat." Ace's dad spat venomously as he left the room, slamming the door as Ace's legs shook.

Ace stood up shakily as he walked to the shower, cleaning his body. Looking down as he stared terrified of the blood in the water.

≪ °❈° ≫≪ °❈° ≫≪ °❈° ≫≪ °❈° ≫≪°❈°≫

"Here dad.." A 10-year-old Ace said as he passed his father a bottle of whiskey, his arms wrapped in bandages and his face filled with band-aids.

"𝙵𝚊𝚔𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚊 𝚜𝚖𝚒𝚕𝚎 𝚒𝚜 𝚜𝚘 𝚖𝚞𝚌𝚑 𝚎𝚊𝚜𝚒𝚎𝚛 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚗 𝚎𝚡𝚙𝚕𝚊𝚗𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚠𝚑𝚢 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚊𝚛𝚎 𝚜𝚊𝚍." - 𝚞𝚗𝚔𝚗𝚘𝚠𝚗

"Good boy. And it's sir, now go scurry off you incompetent child." Ace's dad said gruffly as he snatched the whiskey bottle from Ace.

"Yes, sir." Ace said, bowing slightly as he went back to his room. Tears prickling with tears as he felt his sould crumble into pieces like a flower vase as he stared at a lighter his father might've left after he'd molested for getting a F- in English this semester...

He reached out and grabbed the lighter, flicking it open as he stared at the flame, as if drawn to it. Half of him told him not to do it, it wasn't worth it..Yet he wanted to feel the pain that he deserved.

Ace stood in front of the bathroom mirror, staring at the burn marks on his arms, he could faintly see a silhouette of the fire in his eyes forming a skull then everything started to get disorted. What was happening?... The next thing he knew, he was on the bathroom floor then blacked out.

Everything felt weird, he was back at his home town in Germany...Why was he here? Then he heard a voice. Spinning around, he saw a dark tall figure.

"𝐷𝑜 𝑛𝑜𝑡 𝑓𝑒𝑎𝑟 𝑚𝑒, 𝑚𝑦 𝑑𝑒𝑎𝑟 𝑐ℎ𝑖𝑙𝑑. 𝑌𝑜𝑢 𝑤𝑖𝑙𝑙 𝑓𝑖𝑛𝑑 𝑦𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑝𝑙𝑎𝑐𝑒 𝑠𝑜𝑜𝑛." The deep masculine voice said before disappearing then Ace jolted awake, still on the bathroom floor.

He rushed out the bathroom and into his room, checking his phone only to see that it was 12 midnight?! It had been 6 in the evening earlier then 6 hours just like that?...That was a strange dream...He sighed as he flopped into bed, he needed sleep because he had a test tomorrow..

.

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Im sorry if this makes anyone uncomfortable but please dont hate comment and just scroll, let me live my lifee💜

had a fun time writing this for my moots and i hope you like this!!!!!

[dopaminergicaddictions]

3/7/24

11:38 p.m-updated

The sad thing is, last night with no weed usage. I was trying to sleep and I heard, "hello" in my ear... it sounded like the hearing test I took in January. I heard another word like that a few weeks after my hearing test. Just one.

I've been hearing a few weird things at night such as Bart Simpson's voice. Or something once or twice before I fall asleep...

So Mexican, Michelle and Gabapetin could all just be similar experiences to that, but it's not worth it....

I did get a call from that psychiatrist my old countertransference therapist referred me to. After leaving a detailed message about Xanax and wanting to switch to a similar dosage of estrazolam. I woke up so late to get my 7 hours that I didn't have the time to call them back.

Unfortunately 5 a.m is 12 hours of being awake. My circadian rhythm is between 6:30-8:30 a.m..... I'm taking a higher dose at 6 a.m to put myself right in that 8:30 range at maximum effectiveness and I might just use antihistamines too.

I hope the psychiatrist will give me estrazolam or something better for sleep... it's a small ray of hope.

I hope I didn't damage my brain too much from the weed I smoked today... in 3-5 days as an Infrequent user, it will be out of my system.

It's just not worth it. I'll update this when I talk to the psychiatrist and keep track of my mental pictures and the auditory hallucination.

The new words scare me bc its been like an autobot of, "Happy birthday," "I have a birthday present for Deadname Blanchette," "successful right now," "Nathan," "Deadname," and "the bussycunt feels bad for deadname or Nathan," or "the depressing part is," and thats about the extent of its speech minus a few random occurrences prior to the weed.

What I didn't like was those random occurrences are never the same voice, it sounds like a different voice and is one word.

Where as on the weed, the random hallucinations sounded like my voice auditory hallucination. Which sounds like a girl and has a very distinct recognizable voice. I can't risk it. I don't think I did too much damage I did excessively hit it as to assess for anxiety. I wanted to assess early in the day if the hallucination changed, if I hallucinated more, how I felt. I didn't count my hits but it ranged between 10-20... all I know is I wanted to test it early to really hear and feel the difference and I wanted to know if I panicked or had anxiety from the dangers of starting to smoke again and also just from the thc as it can cause anxiety.

Either way I won't do it again. I hope the psychiatrist comes through for me. I hope I didn't do too much damage to my brain.

I cleaned out my weed box, I threw away my capsules and my dumped all my tinctures. All I have left is vapes. I'll either smoke if I ever recover or I guess I'll throw them out..

I have a cbd tincture and I might go buy a cbd vape at the cbd store. It's made from hemp so it has like .3 % thc in it. Which is significantly less than what I smoked today... I need something else to smoke or vape. I smoke cigarettes like a chimney. I barely eat cause of my diet and I replaced weed with cigarettes. I'm debating the cbd vape bc of the small amount of thc in it. I might go to a local store and get a couple so I can have something else and slow down on my cigarettes.

I smoked over 400 cigarettes in 1 month.... 2 whole cartons...

[survey--s]

685.

1 - Who was the last person to give you a gift? What was the reason for it?  Suzanne got me some chocolates as a "thank you" for looking after Charlie for a few days while they went away.

2 - Are you a good cook? If so, who taught you? What’s your favourite thing to cook?  I can cook but I don't really enjoy it. My dad actually taught me most of the basics and then I was self-taught for the rest.

3 - When was the last time something in your house broke? Did you manage to fix it or did you need to buy a replacement? The xBox stopped working a while ago but when I tried it yesterday it seemed to be okay. I think it must have just overheated or crashed or something.

4 - Is any part of your body hurting right now? What caused that pain?  Yeah, my left hip which always plays up when it's cold and snowy.

5 - Do you have anything exciting planned for the upcoming weekend?  It's Sunday now and we have a snow day. Next weekend I have work on Saturday and then it's my birthday on Sunday so we're going out for lunch.

6 - If you could spend two weeks in any city in the world, which city would you pick and why?  Tokyo, just because it's somewhere I've always wanted to go and it looks like one of those places where you'll never get bored.

7 - When was the last time you tripped or fell in public? if there was nobody around to see you, did you still feel embarrassed? I skidded on the snow this morning but it was only in the garden. I wasn't embarrassed, just glad I didn't get hurt tbh, haha.

8 - The last time you made a sandwich, what did you put in there? I have no idea, I never really eat sandwiches. I had peanut butter on toast this morning though!

9 - How many hours sleep did you get last night? Was that enough for you or could you have slept for longer? About seven? I woke up wide awake at 6am for no apparent reason.

10 - What’s your favourite time of day? What’s your favourite thing to do at that time? On workdays I love my afternoons. I finish work around 1.30pm, come home, feed the animals, shower and then I have the rest of the day to do what I want. Normally I watch TV, mess around online, play games or sometimes see friends. On weekends I love lazy mornings.

11 - Where did you go the last time you left your house?  I haven't been out properly since Friday but I've been out in the garden to play with the dog in the snow a lot.

12 - Are you tired right now? Will you be going to bed anytime soon?  I'm kinda tired but I won't be going back to sleep. It's nearly lunchtime so I'll feed the animals after this and then probably make myself something to eat.

13 - How many times a week do you get takeaway coffee, if you get it at all?  On average, none lol. It's just too expensive for me to justify on a regular basis. I buy the syrups and stuff and make it at home.

14 - What radio station do you listen to the most?  Radio One.

15 - If you eat steak, how do you like it cooked? What sauces or sides do you like to go with it?  Rare, and I like it with mushrooms, fries and onion rings. In terms of sauce, I like blue cheese.

16 - Do you prefer sweet or savoury pancakes? What toppings do you have on them?  Sweet. Normally I have blueberries, honey and bananas.

17 - Are you someone who cracks their joints a lot? Which one(s) do you tend to crack and click the most?  My joints crack whenever I move, haha. Normally my toes, knees, back and neck make the most noise.

18 - Have you ever taken medication or tablets to help you sleep? is this something you do on a regular basis? Yeah, both prescription and herbal ones, but I haven't needed either for a good six months now.

19 - For you, what’s the worst thing about getting up in the morning? What about the worst thing about going to bed tonight?  I just hate actually getting out of bed, especially in winter. I'm fine going to bed at night.

20 - Do you prefer regular or diet soft drinks?  Diet. I find the regular ones too sweet.

21 - What do you tend to wear if you’re just hanging about the house for the day?  Leggings and a hoody at this time of year. In summer normally shorts and a t-shirt.

22 - When was the last time you dyed your hair? Did you do it yourself or get it done at a hairdresser?  A couple of years ago. I always do it myself.

23 - Does having to wear a mask stop you doing things? Is this because you struggle wearing one or you just don’t like it?  I couldn't wear one because of sensory issues. I have autism and having something covering my mouth and nose makes me nauseous and panicky. I could cope for a few minutes but nothing longer.

24 - Have you ever witnessed a car accident? Or have you perhaps been involved in one yourself? Were you at fault? I've never witnessed one but been involved in a couple - neither were my fault, though.

25 - When was the last time you baked a cake? What cake was it? Years ago. I don't really like baking. I did make bread during lockdown though using one of those kits.

26 - Do you like wearing bows or accessories in your hair?  Nope.

27 - How many books do you read in a year? Do you enjoy reading or do you have to really force yourself to sit down and read?  I haven't read a book in ages. I never read anymore, I just don't seem to enjoy it in the way I used to.

28 - If you have pets, where did they come from? A breeder, a rescue or maybe a friend who bred their pet? Purrlock is a rescue, Simba and Toby are farm kittens and Archie is from a breeder.

29 - Do you make your bed every morning when you get up?  Yeah, every single day. It feels wrong not to make the bed.

30 - When was the last time you got takeaway food? Was it good? Last week, and yeah, it was pretty good.

[laffy-taffy-creations]

Day 12!

This fic was cross-posted on AO3 here

Bedtime

Red | Insomnia | "I'm up, I'm up"

Fandom: My Hero Academia

Words: 611

Warnings: insomnia, sleep deprivation, refusal to sleep

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Pssst, you up?”

I turned around in my chair to the person standing in my doorframe. It was Ochako.

“Sure am, what are you doing at my dorm?” I asked.

She looked sheepish, “Well, I couldnt sleep and your door was open so…”

I gestured for her to come in. She stepped in and shut the door.

“So… what are you doing awake?” she asked.

“Chronic insomnia. You?”

She yawned. “Just couldn’t fall asleep. Felt lonely.”

“Well, now you have me. Sit.” I patted space on the bed and turned back to what I originally had been working on.

She complied and I heard the rustling of sheets. When I looked back over she had tucked herself into my bed.

I must have been wearing a weird expression because she said “Well if you’re not gonna use it I might as well.”

I shrugged. Her reasoning was sound enough.

“Are you sure you should be working without sleep?”

“Hush. I’m fine. Besides, what else am I gonna do?”

“Lay down. Cook something. Watch TV. Scroll online. Not work.”

“If you want to do those things you can but I like what I’m doing.”

She shifted a bit trying to get a better look. “What are you working on anyways?”

“Not important.”

“You’re… building something?” she guessed.

“What of it?” I asked, trying to get back to the wiring.

“How long has it been since you last slept?” her tone becoming increasingly concerned.

“Days, but who’s counting?” I responded, trying to attach one of the transmitters so there could be communication between each of the masks.

“OV if you’re being serious right now-”

“Since when have I been known to joke about serious topics?” I cut her off.

She simply stared at me while I finished attaching all the new components to one of the masks and set it to the side. As soon as it was fully out of my hands she lunged forward and smacked me on the arm, activating her quirk.

“Ocha!” I shouted.

She didnt respond. Instead, she floated me to the bed, flopped on top of me, and situated the blanket. “You’re not fucking moving until the sun rises you got it you idiot?” She said in a stern voice.

I sighed and struggled for a bit to free both my arms so I could take off my mask. She smirked, knowing she won and snuggled in closer.

She managed to fall asleep in about 10 or 20 minutes, meanwhile I was still trapped under her for the next several hours.

I heard an alarm go off, apparently hers. She started to stir and reached to where she left her phone to turn it off.

“Mmmmmvee?” she mumbled.

“I’m up, I’m up.”

She made some sort of incoherent noise and stretched.

“Morning sleeping beauty,” I greeted her.

“Mornin’ Vee…” she yawned. “Wait… were you up… all night?” she slurred, trying to rub the tired out of her eyes.

“Mhm. You trapping me here didnt do anything, hate to disappoint.”

Her eyes narrowed. “You need to see a doctor. Now.”

I hummed in acknowledgment and got up, swiping my mask from the side of the bed and putting it on.

“I’m serious. Go see a doctor, or a nurse. You know we’re not in America right? It wont cost you anything to go see RG, go fucking see her.”

“Ochako. It is currently like 6 in the morning. I am not bursting into her office at an ungodsly hour such as this.”

“Fine,” she sighed, exasperated. “But I am forcing you to see her after classes, got it?” she demanded.

I chuckled and nodded. “Whatever you say…”

[pens-swords-stuff]

Just dumping some of my thoughts here because I don't have anywhere else to put them. Not looking for advice, just looking to vent, scream into the void and maybe some support if anyone is willing.

Trigger warnings: Death of a family member, grief, hospitals, COVID, proceed with caution.

Reblogs are disabled to keep this on my blog, but comments are welcome.

I actually found out that my grandmother was dying yesterday. It went very quickly from "she's going to stay in the hospital for a bit" to "she only has about 5-6 hours left before her death."

As a lot of you know, my family is in Japan whereas me, my parents, and one of my uncles live in America so we weren't able to be there. My aunt and her family were there though, so they video chatted me and my parents so that we could see her again and talk for one last time. It was a pretty weird sight to see multiple people holding up phones to her while she was in the hospital bed. She looked so frail and weak, and she must've been in a lot of pain — they were holding off on giving her painkillers for a bit because she probably wouldn't wake up afterwards.

My aunt had to really encourage her to open her eyes to see us, but when she finally managed to, she saw me and the first thing she immediately said was how pretty I was. And that might be the very last thing she ever says to me.

The entire family was able to be there, half in-person and half virtually. At one point I was video chatting another family member and holding up my phone to my mom's phone so she could also be with my grandmother through two layers of videochat.

It turns out that my grandmother had cancer, and she didn't tell anyone that she wasn't feeling well because she didn't want to bother or worry anyone.

We were told at the time that once they gave her painkillers, she wouldn't wake up. She'd pass peacefully in her sleep, without being in pain. They didn't know when, but estimated it to be around 5 to 6 hours, depending on how much strength she had left.

Well, apparently she had a lot of strength left because she made it through the night and woke up. Her blood pressure was back to normal levels, and she's awake and alert and she pulled through.

I can't emphasize enough how amazing of a woman my grandmother is. She's in her mid-nineties, and she's never experienced any of the typical aches and pains of aging. She's never experienced hip or back pain, she kept really active as much as she could (she lived on the 4th floor of an apartment building that she owned well into her 70s. The stairs were ridiculously steep and there was no railing and it's enough to make any adult wheeze!), and she was always finding ways of stimulating her brain so that she could stay mentally sharp. She's also dainty and elegant like a princess, and loves dressing nicely.

This actually happened just yesterday — the day before my licensing exam. And I was so fucking scared of failing because I couldn't make my grandmother the reason I failed.

And I passed! I actually scored amazingly well despite the circumstances, but it's really hard to be happy about it when so much going on. Moving on with being licensed, transitioning into a new job... It feels really weird with everything happening right now. I've always been avoidant and anxious about it, but this is making it ten times worse and all I want to do is hide in my bed to keep everything away. Because if I don't leave my bed, the day can't start, and if the day doesn't start, nothing bad can happen.

(Despite what I might sound like right now, I am actually very functional and am handling this well, don't worry. Staying in bed past noon when I don't have anything to do that day is one of my indicators that I'm feeling really anxious. And these days my internal clock wakes me up really early, so even after procrastinating leaving my bed I actually get on with my day around 11 or sometimes 12, and I'm currently unemployed so it's not like I'm missing anything important. I'm doing fine. This is just my rambly thought dump so everything sounds much more dysfunctional than it actually is.)

Right now we're in a very weird stasis of grandma is still alive, but we don't know what's actually happening. Because of COVID, no one is allowed to visit her, and the hospital is apparently short staffed so we're not getting a ton of updates. My cousin managed to talk to a nurse by chance when she was delivering some clothes and toothbrushes for my grandma, and as far as we know right now, she's alert and she's stable. But it also doesn't seem like there's a huge chance for recovery? I don't know the details but they're giving her painkillers, and are draining... something periodically, but it doesn't sound like there's any treatment happening.

I guess we're just waiting to see how long she holds on before she's ready to pass?

Part of me thinks that she'll be okay in the end. I really, truly thought that she would easily live past 100. Other part of me is already grieving.

It's so frustrating, because there's literally no point for me and my parents to go to Japan right now. Even if we did get there, we wouldn't be able to visit. My aunt, uncle and cousin were only allowed in yesterday because they really thought that this was going to be the end.

And what's even more frustrating is that I haven't seen my family in Japan for five years. We had tickets to go to Japan in May of 2020. COVID stole away at least two summers that we would've been able to spend with my grandmother. And what makes it worse is that these were my last summer breaks. I was in grad school. I had the summer off; I wasn't working or taking classes, I was legitimately on summer break and goofing around doing nothing productive.

But now, I'm about to start my career! I accepted a job that I was really excited about and I'm going to start really soon. And it's going to be really hard to take extended time off! (I'm already negotiating a couple weeks off in August for a nonrefundable trip, which will make it even more difficult to ask for more time off in the first 3 months of my employment if something happens). It was my last chance to easily spend a month or three in Japan, and the pandemic took that away. Even if I hopped onto a plane right now and went to Japan, I still might never see my grandmother again because visitors aren't allowed due to COVID.

Also it's a busy time for flights to Japan right now because everyone goes in the summer; there are almost no seats left and the ones that are, are ridiculously expensive. My family doesn't have a ton of money; it would be worth it, but it would also be really difficult to make ends meet if we bought tickets. One ticket would be tight but manageable, but not three — and if we're sending anyone, it would be my father, since it's his mother.

it just really, seriously sucks right now and the timing of everything going down just makes it worse on multiple levels because it's giving me a lot of "what ifs" and "if onlys".

The emotional roller coaster has been wild over the past 36 hours, and I just want to get off.

[shallyne]

Because you're my Friend

Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9 | Part 10 | Part 11 | Part 12 (Alternative Ending)

I got a little inspiration! I don't know if there will be a second part, I will try to write something if inspiration kicks in. If not it's a cute oneshot. Hope you enjoy!

TW: none

Feyre and Rhys have to do a project together. While Feyre is over at Rhys's house she realizes she might not be as lonely as she thinks she is.

Feyre tried her locker combination for the third time now. The two times before she always had some mistake, she had to thank her exhaustion for that. She had a late shift in the diner the night before and wasn't home before 2 AM. She just took a quick shower and then she fell into her bed. After her shift she couldn't even think about doing homework. Feyre was awake again at 6 and tried to cook something for breakfast. Her father couldn't stand long enough with his injured leg and Nesta and Elain would rather go hungry than try to cook for themselves. Feyre wasn't good at cooking, not even close. One could mean she would improve after doing this for years, they would be wrong. At least it was edible. Simple, but edible. Not that they had enough money to cook something greater. After that she left their apartment without any goodbyes. Usually she used the time before school began for drawing but since she began her job at the diner she was just too exhausted to do anything. She couldn't use the time to sleep longer because the next bus would arrive way too late at her school.

"Finally." Feyre muttered after her successful third attempt at opening her locker. She threw her books in and closed the locker again. Rhys suddenly stood beside her, grinning like an idiot. "So, you're home or my home?"

"What?" Feyre asked, irritated.

Rhys snorted. "You really fell asleep in Strygas class, that's brave. Anyways, we have to do a group project and Stryga put us in a group together."

"Great." Feyre sighed. "Do it without me."

"What? No! We're partners now, Feyre. It's our project." he said.

"I don't have time. Tell Stryga I bailed on you and let her give me an F. I'll survive." Feyre replied, picking up her backpack from the ground, where she kicked it when her locker annoyed her.

Rhys was looking Feyre up and down, saying nothing for a moment until he looked her back in the eyes. "Feyre, are you okay?"

"Yes, I'm fine." she said, about to turn around and walk away. Done with the conversation. Rhys on the other hand wasn't done at all and he gripped her wrist. Strong enough to stop Feyre but softly enough not to hurt her. Annoyed she asked "What?"

"You're obviously not fine." he said. "When did you eat the last time?"

"It's none of your business." she said, shaking his hand off. "I am fine."

"No you're not!" he said. Feyre silently cursed herself for letting 11 year old Rhys share his sandwich with her, letting him into her life and making him think that he can interfere with her life now.

"I have to be fine, alright? I can't afford to not be okay." Feyre said, this time she didn't care and just walked away.

Rhys didn't care either and followed her. "I am not making this project alone. We're beginning today, at my house." when Feyre opened her mouth to tell him to fuckk off he raised a hand and just continued to talk "I know for a fact that the distance to your lovely diner is shorter from my house. Call your sister and tell her that coming home after work."

Feyre grunted annoyed. "I don't have to tell her."

"Then tell you father." he said.

"He doesn't care, either." Feyre replied.

Rhys looked at her, pitying. Feyre just rolled eyes.

A few hours later they really stood in front of Rhys's home. Feyre knew that Rhys's family had money but she didn't expect this. Their house was huge. She would even go that far and call it a mansion. "If you're so rich, why are going to a public school?"

Rhys just chuckled and entered his house, Feyre followed. She didn't know how it was possible but it looked even bigger from the inside. Rhys led her to a luxurious kitchen.

"My family should be gone for a while. We'll, most of them. My mother is home but she's working." Rhys said.

"Actually," a soothing voice sounded behind her "I was just taking a break."

Feyre turned around and in the doorway stood a beautiful woman. She was around 40, her long black hair was in a braid. Her hazel eyes slid to me, her mouth curving into a smile. "Hello. I didn't know Rhys is bringing a friend home."

"We're doing a group project. Mom, that's Feyre, Feyre that's my mother." Rhys said and turned back to the fridge.

"Feyre!" Rhys's Mother said, pulling me into a tight hug. "It's so nice to meet you! You can call me Naya. I heard so much..."

"Mom!" Rhys interrupted. "Where are the leftovers?"

"Rhys, they are in front of your nose."

"Where?"

Naya sighed, going to Rhys and taking a container out of the fridge. "That's not enough for two."

"I'm not hungry." Feyre said.

"Do you like Mac'n'cheese?" Rhys asked.

"I- I don't know. I never tried it." Feyre replied.

"Then it's your first time." Rhys said.

"Sit down, Rhys." Naya said.

"Why? I can help." he said.

"Sit down." Naya repeated. "I don't want you to burn my kitchen down. Especially not when we have a guest."

Rhys sighed as he sat beside Feyre at the kitchen island. "I wouldn't." at Nayas raised brow he added "That was Cassians fault!"

Feyre snorted. "You almost burned down your kitchen?"

"Cassian." he said. "Cassian almost burned down the kitchen."

"So." Naya said while preparing the meal. "You have to do a project together?"

"Yes." Rhys answered. "For Stryga. It's making up 20% of our grade."

Feyre turned to Rhys. "Really?"

Rhys looked at her, concerned. "Yes."

"Stop looking at me like that." Feyre said silently, hoping Naya won't hear her.

"Like what?" Rhys asked, as quiet as her.

"Concerned. Stop that." Feyre said.

"Well, I am concerned if you look like the living dead, failing every test, not doing any schoolwork and fall asleep during classes. I never see you eating, either." he whispered.

Feyre looked to Naya, checking if she hears them. When she's sure she doesn't Feyre turns back to Rhys. "Again, it's none of your business. Why do you care?"

"I care because you are my friend!" he said.

"Since when?" she asked.

Rhys leaned back on his chair. "Since you accepted my sandwich."

"I didn't realize a sandwich would make us friends." Feyre said.

"Of course not if you always keep me at distance." he said, crossing his arms. He looked Feyre directly into her eyes, his gaze son piercing that she had to look away. Friends. Ridiculous. Still, the thought of having a friend made her feel something weird. Something like happiness. Was it happiness? She didn't know, she didn't feel that in a long, long time.

"Now that I think about it." Rhys said. "I didn't see you drink anything today, either. I'll get you water. Or do you want something else?"

"No." Feyre said, her cheeks heating. "Water is fine. Thanks."

Feyre realized now that she had a friend for years and she never realized it. The thought of having Rhys as a friend didn't want to make her throw up instantly, either.

[yourmidnightlover]

i’ll never be ready

Summary: when you've been taken by the recent unsub, you both come to a shocking realization.

TW: torture, self-hatred (derek, spencer), scars, noah (the sucky date guy), angst, fluff if you squint. let me know if i missed anything*

WC: 3,486

————————————————————————

saying the case was rough was under kill-which, ironically, was opposite of the unsub's mo. everyone had nearly lost count of how long they had been awake. 36, maybe 38 hours of nonstop work? going over case files and reviewing them for something - anything you might've missed. it all seemed a bit pointless because each time you reread a file you felt your eyes dropping down, threatening to betray you and make you succumb to the sleep.

"y/n," hotch spoke. "you've been up the longest. go back to the hotel with derek and get some rest. be back here in 5 hours," he demanded in a soft tone.

"won't argue with that," you chuckled best you could before morgan grabbed the keys, ushering the two of you to the car.

your hotel room was a few doors down from morgan's. he bid you goodnight before he opened his door, allowing you to continue on to your room. you decided to get a bottle of water - the sleep deprivation probably making you feel more dehydrated than you actually were.

after you paid for the bottle, you took a swig of it and trudged on to your room. only, you didn't make it. it felt as though the sleep you yearned for had finally taken over as it was accompanied by a throbbing migraine in the back of your head.

-

"what's taking them so long?" emily asked, looking at hotch for answers.

l"i'm not sure. i told them to only be gone for fi-" he was cut off by morgan slamming into the police station.

"she's gone," he uttered plainly, worriedly as he avoided any eye contact with the rest of the team.

"what do you mean 'she's gone?'" jj argued, feeling the worry bubble up inside of her as morgan continued talking.

"i knocked on her door to let her know that we had to leave. i-i thought she might've just slept through her alarm. but then she never answered," his eyes finally met someone on the team's. "i kicked through the door and the bed -it-it wasn't even slept in. i'm so sorry," he mumbled to that particular team member.

spencer felt his heart drop in his chest. he wasn't angry, per say. he was furious. he was frustrated and confused and wanted to hit something - someone. but not morgan. he wasn't mad at morgan. it wasn't his fault you were gone. at least that's what he thought until Garcia pulled up the footage from 6 hours ago.

the image of derek going inside his room, allowing you to wander past yours and retrieve the water before walking halfway back to yours, only to be hit over the head, was the only thing he could see. and what he did see... well, what he saw was in red.

"you didn't even walk her to her room?!" spencer accused derek.

"kid, we were all tired. i'm sorry, i really am," he pleaded with the young man.

"don't 'kid' me! 'sorry' won't bring her back! we know what this guy does to people and you didn't even make sure she was safe!" spencer walked closer to derek. "i can't believe you. we all had a discussion about how she was the unsub's type. you knew that and you still let her get taken," he poked his finger in his chest.

"i didn't let her do anything. i didn't want this to happen, reid," morgan tried to calm him down, only for them to be interrupted by jj coming into the room, asking for spencer to come with her before promptly leaving derek by himself. "i-i swear, babygirl, i didn't think th-"

"that's the problem, derek," she cut him off. "you didn't think," she said in a calm, sweet tone. "i love you, i truly do, but even when your guards are down when you're tired... you need to think."

"i know... i know. i don't- i don't know what to do now," he wiped the tears from his eyes.

"now you go be the hero i know you are," garcia smiled before signing off, leaving derek staring at a blank, black screen.

-

"look who's up," the unsub sang as you turned your head whilst lying on the cold, steel table. "before you try anything, there's no point in fighting. you're strapped down with reinforcements and the room is sealed with a steel door that can only be unlocked with my key."

"so what? should i just let you do whatever you want to me?" you scoffed as you rolled your eyes, observing the state of the room.

it wasn't very clean. it was dirty and grungy and the smell was absolutely horrid. you nearly gagged upon looking to the corner of the room, seeing an abundance of takeout and old pizza boxes - clearly old and moldy.

"that'll happen regardless, sweetheart," he brushed a strand of hair behind your ear, humming as he did so. "such a beautiful girl, truly," his hand travelled further south, grasping your neck tightly with the one hand before he brought a second one up to join it.

you stared him in his hooded eyes as he strangled you gently. you didn't make a show if it - that's where he got off. you wouldn't give him the satisfaction. although you would have to throw him a bone so he wouldn't kill you.

he was a sexual sadist. he got the relief from your pain and struggle. he would keep at it until you gave him what he wanted - your pain.

the profile had revealed that the unsub had a history of hatred for women from his own mother - who was most likely abusive. it was assumed that his father left at an early age and his mother blamed him for his departure.

"damnit!" he slapped your face, relinquishing his grip on your throat to allow you to breathe.

"what? can the big-strong-tough-guy not get off?" you mocked him, another slap hitting your face.

"shut UP!" he shouted at you. "when i get back you better be more cooperative," he spat out before grabbing a duffel bag and leaving.

a sigh of relief left you when the doors shut, hearing the deadbolt latch lock to signal you were stuck. you wriggled your wrists around, noticing they were bound by leather straps, as were your ankles.

-

"alright," hotch began as they gathered in the makeshift conference room, "so he has a 12 hour lead on us with her. we've profiled that the unsub keeps all the women at the same location. it'd be too difficult to move them with all the equipment he uses on them..." he looked towards spencer as he spoke, wanting to make sure he was alright.

"this has to be a power assertion move," emily added.

"you're right," rossi agreed. "taking a fbi agent would make him arrogant."

"so maybe he'll screw up? maybe we could find her?" spencer lit up at the brief sight of hope.

"don't get too excited, we still need him to make that mistake. but, yes, there's hope," hotch agreed.

penelope appeared all too sudden on the laptop screen, looking rather worried before she announced, "i'm gonna send you the video that just appeared on every screen in my bat cave. just... be prepared."

and then you were there.

you were strapped to the table, your shirt cut open to reveal your skin to the screen. the camera seemed to be hovering above the bed, focused on your body and the marks that already adorned it. you had a hand-shaped bruise on your trachea; a bruise on your cheekbone underneath your eye was contrasting your pale skin. the gag in your mouth held it open in what seemed to be an uncomfortable position. you looked tired. reasonably so, you never did get that proper rest you wanted.

and spencer would never get to tell you what he wanted if you couldn't make it out of there alive.

he never thought of you as anything but a friend but now that there was the possibility of you not making it back to him, he couldn't help but feel different about you. his heart was aching and he knew it would never stop until he was able to give it to you. now, he knew he wanted to hold you as more than a friend. he wanted to dance with you romantically rather than a silly platonic friendly thing. he wanted to kiss you, and tell you that he'd never leave you alone again. he just wanted you.

"look at how pretty she is lying there on the table," a voice that was off-screen cheered out. "although she's always quite the hottie, isn't that right... spencer? was that the name you told me, agent?" he grasped your chin, forcing your face to contort as you tried to wrangle yourself free from his grasp. "it was, wasn't it?" he laughed before releasing your face.

your eyes welled with tears upon the realization that the team might not make it to you on time. you had tried to put up a fight - you swore you did. but you could only fight so hard for so long. the light left your eyes in the form of tears streaming down your face, leaving them on display for your own team to mourn with you.

"looks like he won't be saving you, after all," he chuckled as shuffling was heard from over the screen. "let's see if they like the show, huh?" he brought a knife from out of his bag before removing the gag from your mouth.

"turn it off! turn it off!" you begged. "they-they don't need to see this, hudson," you revealed his name.

"hudson was the deputy that went home 13 hours ago. he was the one that gave us the files and intel on people in town. i guess he didn't actually go home," reid reminded the team.

"shut up, BITCH!" hudson wiped the knife down your right arm, a light hiss leaving your mouth from the intrusion.

"how about we get something to eat, yea? order some more jonny's pizza?" you emphasized before the knife went back into your skin, this time on the other arm.

"jonny's pizza is in a neighborhood only 10 miles away from here. hudson might own property near there. garcia?" spencer announced once more.

"on it," penelope declared before working her magic. "it says here that hudson's family owns an old restaurant that was shut down three years ago. it was passed on to him once his mother died. i'm sending the address your way."

"morgan, you're with me and emily-"

"i'm going with you," reid interjected.

"are you sure you're in the right-"

"i have to see her. i have to... i have to make sure she's okay," spencer tried to reason. hotch sighed before nodding his head in agreement.

they brought an ipad with them so they could watch as they traveled to the location. your arms were bleeding, but he had avoided the major arteries that would've killed you. your sobs wracked through the device, shattering spencer's heart more than he thought possible.

when they got to the restaurant, there were wooden boards surrounding every entrance. they left the sirens off in hopes to not scare the unsub into killing you.

"fbi!" morgan did his classic entrance, kicking the door in promptly. "hudson williams! fbi!" he led the team to the back of the room where a large, steel door rested.

spencer and hotch went to the sides of morgan, nodding at him to continue before he kicked the door in. the three, followed by more swat members, flooded inside the room quickly. spencer's eyes locked on yours as you lay on the table, looking sideways to see him. he saw the tears flow from your eyes as the unsub swung his knife up into the air, intent on stabbing you once more, this time fatally. spencer could swear he saw you mouth something to him before a shot rang through the air.

he looked to his side to see morgan had fired the shot that killed hudson, his knife falling beside your body as your body began shaking with sobs.

"let me go! let me go ple-please! get these off!" your arms struggled at the restraints before spencer holstered his gun, running to your side to work at the leather bindings.

"i'm here," he undid your wrists before you wrapped them around his neck, burying your face in his shoulder before sobs overtook you. "you're safe now, you're safe," his hand stroked the back of your head as you cried into his skin. "here," he pulled back momentarily before he shrugged off his vest and cardigan, handing you the cardigan to pull over your body.

"thanks," you sniffled as you pulled it tight over your body, covering your exposed state before embracing spencer once more, pulling him as close as you possibly could.

"i'm never letting you go again, y/n," he whispered before placing a kiss to your hairline. "never."

"good," you responded before he took you in his arms, carrying you to the ambulance that made it's way to the restaurant soon after they did.

you were severely dehydrated. the lacerations on your arm caused you to lose a lot of blood. you had a concussion. but you would be okay. you were alive. by some miracle, you were alive. you were alive and he'd never let you out of his sight again.

the entire time you were gone, you couldn't stop thinking about spencer. i mean, yes, your team entered your mind but not as much as spencer. who did you cry out for when he would hurt you? spencer. where would you go to distract you from what was going on? spencer's arms. spencer was the answer to all of your problems. it was spencer.

"spencer?" you asked as your head was resting on his shoulder, his arm wrapped around your shoulders as a mild attempt to keep you warm.

"yes?" he turned his head down to face your droopy face.

"i..." you stopped once you realized what you had planned on revealing. "please don't leave?"

"i won't," he gently took your chin in his hand, lifting your face up to see his. "i promise."

you nodded your head contentedly, satisfied with his answer. you couldn't say anything about how you felt now of all times. you needed him, as selfish as that seemed. you needed him to lean on as a crutch right now. telling him how you feel is risky. he could run away and distance himself from you once you open your mouth. so instead, you'd keep it shut.

as the weeks went by, your wounds healed. your heart tried to mend itself as time went on, but the process wasn't as smooth as it was with your external wounds. it was a rollercoaster process. you tried to convince yourself that you didn't love spencer. each night when he would come to your house to check up on you and watch a tv show or movie, you allowed yourself to imagine a life with him. a life where you didn't have to hide your feelings from him.

and spencer thought that telling you right after might've brought on too much stress for you. he thought it would be selfish to tell you such a thing after you nearly died. so, he pushed his feelings down as well.

and then penelope happened.

she had set you up on a date with one of sam's friends from counter-terrorism. you didn't really want to go, but you felt bad enough after skipping all of the girls' nights once you got abducted. so, you had gotten ready.

you wore a long-sleeved blouse and a skirt, the sleeves to avoid a conversation with a stranger you truly weren't ready for. to be honest, you were dreading whatever would happen tonight. you had mentioned the date to spencer, telling him how you didn't even want to go anywhere; you weren't ready to go out in public by yourself yet. he wasn't excited for you, who would be after you confessed your hesitance on going anywhere.

"i'm heading out now, spence," you walked out of your bedroom and into the kitchen where spencer was standing, waiting for you to get ready.

"al-alright," he nodded before turning towards you. "you look... you look beautiful, y/n," he sighed, making you blush lightly.

"thank you," you went to give him a hug, wrapping your arms around his torso. "for everything," you kissed his cheek before pulling away. "i don't think it'll be that long, i hope it's not that long," you chuckled before continuing, "so i'll see you after?"

"uhm, yea," he agreed. "i'll see you later."

you sighed before grabbing your keys and leaving, driving to the restaurant penny had told you to go to. it had only been two months since your abduction. you hadn't been anywhere without someone with you, most of the time it was spencer. you parked the car, grabbing your purse from the passenger seat and placing it in your lap.

you shouldn't have come. you shouldn't have done anything. you should've stayed with spencer. you should've let him know how you felt. you should've...

you felt tears well in your eyes before you pushed those thoughts down. you took a deep breath to compose yourself before you walked into the restaurant. you were led to the table noah miller would be at by the host.

"hi," noah greeted you.

"hi," you tried your best to muster up a smile as you sat down.

"uhm, penelope mentioned how beautiful you were, but i think it was severe underkill," he chuckled,

"oh, wow, thank you," you smiled. "you look pretty great yourself," you motioned. there was a moment of unsettling silence before you continued, "i haven't been out in a while. so, be patient with me tonight."

"sam mentioned that you went through something... an abduction, i believe?" you nodded your head. "that is beyond cool. do you... do you have any scars?" his eyes widened at the thought.

"ex-excuse me?" you furrowed your brows at the question.

"do you have any scars from the abduction?" he asked once more as if he didn't sense what was wrong with it in the first place.

"you... you're seriously asking to see the scars from when i was almost killed?" you scoffed before leaning back, crossing your arms over your chest defensively.

"are those your scars?" he awed as he pointed towards your arms, the sleeves had ridden up on your skin.

"what the hell is wrong with you?" you jerked your sleeves down once more before you stood up and grabbed your purse. "i hope you rot in hell you freak."

you ran out to your car before calling spencer, tears already streaming down your face as you locked your car door.

"spencer reid," he answered the phone.

"spence?" you sniffled, wiping your nose.

"y/n? what is it? what happened?" he rose from his spot on his couch, shutting his book worriedly.

"i just... the date it - i need you, spencer," you cried out once more.

"do you need me to pick you up or are you alright to drive to my place?"

"i-i can drive," you replied as you wiped your tears.

"alright," he said. "i'll be waiting. should i stay on the phone with you as you drive? you could put me on speaker?"

"yea-yes, please," you answered before putting the phone on speaker.

you drove there as he read his book to you. his voice calmed you down a bit... only a little bit. not as much as his touch would. so, you sped there as fast you could without getting pulled over.

once you knocked on his door it opened in a matter of milliseconds. spencer's arms went around your waist as yours went around his neck, pulling him even closer to your body. your sobs rang through spencer's skin as he rubbed circles into your back, walking the two of you inside his apartment before he closed the door.

"what happened?" spencer asked as you curled into him whilst sitting on the couch.

"the guy wanted to see the scars," you sniffled. "when i got upset he saw them because my sleeves rolled up and well... the rest is history," you chuckled humorlessly.

"he really...?" spencer leaned back to look you in the eyes.

"yea... i know," you rolled you eyes.

"well whoever that guy is sucks. he doesn't deserve you," he twirled your hair in his fingers before continuing. "would you want to talk about it?"

"mm-mm," you shook your head. "not yet. i'm not ready."

and then it was more than abundantly clear. you might not ever be ready to tell him.

taglist:

@averyhotchner

@greenprisca

@muffin-cup

@spenxerslut

if you’d like to be added to the taglist, please don’t hesitate to message me or leave a comment!

[zensayr]

Fun executive disorder story.

I once took two weeks off of work because of a car racing event that I wanted to participate in and I needed a lot of time to finish my car.

(Background: No Suspension, no gearbox, no safety cage, no differential, electronics incomplete,...)

The first day of the 12 days that I had to prepare the car, I did a bit of work(Removing bushings out of the suspension). Continuing like that and investing 3 hours per day would have sufficed.

The 8 days following that I did nothing.

So I have 3 days left and not only am I 24 hours behind my schedule, but there's also 9 hours of work that would be ahead of me AND I have to prepare myself, pack my stuff and drive 6-9 hours till Dresden and be well rested to drive on the racetrack.

So basically my day starts and I /suddenly/ notice that I only have 47h+16h(8h sleep per day) left and that I need to invest 42 hours to finish the car.

This is when my brain goes from "You have to use your free time and still have enough time to finish the car" to "You have to start immediately!".

I start at Tuesday at 11am. Apart from visiting my parents once and making it to a job interview, I'm constantly working on my car.

Now you might say "wait, does the math check out?"

Yes, it does... When you exclude sleep.

Fueled by ice tea and choco waffles I manage to keep focused and work for 3 days straight on my car without sleeping.

After finishing it, I shower, take 20 minutes nap, eat something that isn't a pre packaged desert and start the 600km drive.

Around halfway into the drive I had a blackout and woke up parked infront of a gas station, still buckled into my harness, and with another 20 minutes missing from my schedule. Seemed like I noticed that I need to rest again and that I drove off the highway and found a place to park... But I had and have no memory of it whatsoever.

After that I managed it to arrive at the racetrack on time and was able to race.

TL:DR: Was awake for 58 hours and spent 40 hours of it doing critical work - because of my executive disorder + high determination.

[morimakesfanart]

Sindria's Prophet #13

[1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] [8] [9] [10] [11] [12]

[AO3]

((edited because I figured out to add some more history facts that I think are important))

~POV Sinbad~

"The Kou Empire, huh?"

"That is going to make things risky."

With all of the Generals caught up with what happened in Balbadd, they needed to start planning for King Sinbad's trip to the Kou Empire, as well as catching him up with everything that had happened in Sindria while he was gone.

"LadY YamuRAI H AA AA A" A yell came from the hallway accompanied by the sounds of running.

((Sinbad is hidden on the left. There's a hint of him poking out.))

A panting magician gave apologies for disturbing their meeting and ran to the head of Sindria's magicians. "I wish I knew you were here so I didn't search the tower first~" Then he started explaining about some magical proof. Most of his words sounded like gibberish to the rest, but it was clear that he had made some kind of break though.

Yam jumped out of her seat. "How did you finally figure it out?! Who figured it out?!" She whipped her head to her King, "Sorry your majesty," and then looked back to the other magician.

"It was the work of the Prophet!” the magician answered. "We were talking about her illness and she pulled out scrolls that- you just have to read them for yourself!”

Mori had said that she had written other scrolls before she started coping down Fate. This must have been what she was working on.

Both magicians bowed out to go test out this new information. Before they could leave, Sinbad ended the meeting; there was no way he was going to wait to learn what other information Mori had blessed them with. Ja'far followed as did a few of the other Generals.

When they got into the court yard, the doctors that had been sent to take care of Mori were already pushing their supply cart back to their main building. The magician that had stayed behind spotted them and raised two scrolls up triumphantly. "She let me take the scrolls!"

---

News of the scrolls written by a Prophet spread throughout the Black Libra Tower within an hour. Yamuraiha and the doctors explained their significance to King Sinbad.

If even a fraction of the theories in the scrolls proved true it would completely changed their understanding of how illnesses work. If Mori wasn't sick she would undoubtedly be swarmed with questions and demands for proof. According to the magicians, nothing in the scrolls went against any known information. Instead, they gave explanations to why certain things that had been attempted in the past had failed. What she wrote about 'cells' was what really caught the eyes of the white magicians and doctors. As an example, according to Mori's writing there were blood types and most couldn't mix; that would explain why most past attempts at blood transfusions had failed.

The 2nd scroll showed a break down of even smaller particles, and how the structures of different particles made up everything. This was going to bring alchemic magic to a whole new era. Sure, such things would most likely be limited to high magicians, group efforts, and the Magi, but it looked possible now. A lot of common magic of the current day took extreme amounts of magoi in the past because they hadn't found the right formula yet. Mori's writing -if true- could easily be used as a guide to finding the right order of commands for many spells.

And even more than that, Mori had said that she had even more information to share; she had just ran out of scrolls and ink.

Mori's presence in Sindria, and everything that went with it were Fate and the Rukh's guidance. King Sinbad could see it -the future he wanted.

---

~POV Mori~

In Sindria's Palace there is a Great Bell. It is rung during celebrations, and to signify the King returning home like it did earlier that day, but it's main use was to ring every 2 hours to tell everyone the time since clocks weren't invented yet. So even though I was a sick person trying to rest during the day, I was woken up by the Great Bell every 2 hours... which of course is also situated right on top of the guest tower.

For obvious reasons, I was awake again.

I wish I knew how the others responded to the scrolls. I really wanted to know Yam's opinion most. Those scrolls basically gave away the secret to Yunan's signature alchemy magic.

I still had the first scroll I had worked on -the one on the science behind blimps-, and the last science scroll I had started. That one was on DNA, and reproductive systems. It was the last one I started in Balbadd. I hadn't started working on it until sunrise on my 2nd sleepless night and it showed; there were missing words everywhere, many incomplete sentences, and I couldn't stay in topic.

These mistakes were too great to fix with an ink knife. Editing was going be super annoying and time consuming since I couldn't work digitally. I'd have to physically cut up the first draft to put everything in the right order before making the next one.

Wait- Did this world have scissors???

Back home the first evolution of shears that could be labeled as scissors was in Roman barber shops in the last hundred years or so before Rome fell. China would spontaneous also create something akin to scissors not long after. Reim and the Kou Empire seemed to line up with Rome and ancient China for the most part, so I tend to use them to place the time period, but the dress Princess Dunya wears is centuries off and throws all historical accuracy questions out the window. Rome was long gone by the time boning was added to women's undergarments, and that dress had all the signs of boned corsetry.

Fuck it. I'll ask for scissors and if they don't have them I'll just invent them myself. I had been drafting professionally for the past 4 years. That may have been for microelectronics, but it uses all the same skills; I could do this. I needed to get a ruler -or at least a straight edge- and a drafting compass which they probably have based on the look of maps in the series, and pencils, or at least colored inks if they had them. I probably needed to reinvent the French curve(stencil tool used in art & drafting)...

Since I was struggling to fall back asleep I moved to the table and pulled out my test scroll. It was full of random marks and some of my early drawing attempts that I used to practice with the dip pen -it's also where I wrote down the dreams from the Rukh. I'd write the list of things I needed, rip the section out of the scroll, and pass the list to someone who could get me what I was asking for. I added some living necessities too like sleep wear and a comb.

The maids that came to give me dinner, and next dose of medicine were not pleased that I wasn't in bed -I was an important guest who was sick after all. And I wasn't pleased to have to drink more of that bitter medicine, but we can't have nice things all the time, now can we?

My voices was strained but I managed to communicate enough. I gave them my list, and laundry (the clothes I wore on the boat) before they left. They'd get me the things the next day. I was instructed to sleep until someone brings me breakfast the next day... which is what I was going to do anyway since the sun was practically gone. I might be a bit of a workaholic but I'm not going to let myself pull an accidental all-nighter when I know I'm still sick. I'm far more self aware than that.

And besides, the Great Bell didn't ring at night.

---

Maids brought my breakfast (& meds) the next morning and let me know that my clothes would be cleaned and dry by the end of the day. I guess they didn't use magic for everything.

They also gave me all of the drafting and inking supplies I asked for except for scissors. In one of the omakes Sinbad was shown cutting his hair with a knife as a part of his normal grooming. I had hoped he was just old fashioned.

For the greater good and the future of my own hair care, I drafted up detailed designs for a few different types of basic scissors. They wouldn't look fancy, but hopefully I had put enough of a detailed explanation on everything for the smith to figure out what I was asking. Steel wasn't developed until the middle ages and some of the counties of this world matched that so I hoped

that God and anime were on my side. I really wanted scissors that would be a good quality.

And if that didn't work I'd just have to get used to using knives and bladed rollers like a regular person.

The Great Bell rung for 10 am. There were at least another 2 hours before someone would show up, to give lunch, that I could ask to take my draft for the scissors to a black Smith.

I should be resting as a sick person. I should be more exhausted and in pain as a sick person. What was making me recover this quickly?

I still didn't feel like laying back down, so I decided to start drafting up the materials and equipment for proving everything I had written in the scrolls I gave the previous day.

Globally, micro-organisms, viruses, and bacteria were not really accept or proved until the late 1800's. Since Magi seems to take place some time around our 100AD-1300, and Yunan hinting at chemical compounds was seen as shocking by Yam, I knew that my bio scrolls were probably causing an uproar in the Black Libra Tower. I refused to use actual people or wait for an outbreak to prove it like how it happened in history -like how John Snow proved it when finding the cause of cholera outbreaks in 1848 and 1854 England. No, I needed to show how to prove these things in a lab, and to do that I was going to need to explain how to keep samples and invent a way to see microorganisms.

First was for a glass petri dish and other containers for samples. I'd need at least 3 -preferably more. I know glass works have been around since BC, and that this world had glass windows in some scenes, but I worried about the quality of the glass contaminating the experiments. I was going to have to boil them beforehand to sterilize them anyway.

Gosh I wish I had access to nonporous, air tight containers, and a temperature controlled environment. The heat and humidity of Sindria could easily mess everything up.

Wait... I suddenly remembered a scene from the Magnostadt arc when they showed how a sample was being stored. They already had good enough glass. I knew there were magic bio experiments but I had no idea how they worked.

With the realization that I was getting ahead myself, I switched to writing about how to use the scientific method to test for germs. It was basically the bread in a bag test to teach young children about germs but with petri dishes. I also wrote about how to analyze samples with a microscope to see micro organisms so I was going to have to figure that out next.

Lunch came as the perfect break.

Just thinking about reinventing this thing made me nervous. I knew magnifying glasses existed in ancient Rome, but they would be nothing like what I was used to. I had to explain how light moves and made multiple diagrams showing how concave and convex lenses affect light as well as the material of the lens. I ended up also showing how to make a telescope even though I knew Yam already had one.

Magicians were the only ones shown with glasses. Maybe now the rest of the world could have them too.

4 o'clock came and so did 3 doctors and a magician. It was less than yesterday, but still more than necessary to treat or analyze one person. I only recognized one of the doctors from the previous day. All of the new faces looked nervous. None of them looked young by any measure, so I really doubted this was their first time treating someone.

They weren't happy to see me at the table and made me return to my bed -their loss.

The doctor from the previous day was the one doing most of the talking. "Your recovery is amazing. You will most likely be better in another 3 days at this rate if not sooner. It's practically a miracle."

I smiled. "It's pretty shocking for me too." As long as I spoke quietly and kept my comments short, I found I could talk again for a bit.

The doctor was silent for a moment before changing the subject. "I know you need rest, but would you be willing to answer a few questions about those scrolls from yesterday?

The 3 other men looked expectant. This was why they were here.

"I don't mind as long as you don't make me talk too much."

Then came the question I was expecting since I had first made the scrolls. "I know you are a Prophet and the information came from your visions but is there any way you can prove what you wrote?"

I pointed to the table with the scroll I had started earlier. "I can't prove it with the current equipment I have, so I've been drafting up the needed equipment and processes for proving it."

They all turned to look at where I was pointing.

I added, "It's not done, but you're welcome to read what I have so far."

I was thanked as they went to the table they had called me away from when they entered.

'He called it 'visions?' Really?' I had to ask Sinbad later what he was telling his people about me so I could keep the story straight.

The magician confirmed for the others what I wrote about light bending. There was magic to do that, but not everyone is a magician. I had just invented a way for non-magicians to bend light.

Just wait until I show them a prism that can split light into colors. Or teach them how light is perceived in the eye. Or even better, show them the double slit experiment that proves that light is a particle not just a wave... Did they know light was a wave yet?

"Lady Prophet."

I was pulled out of my thoughts.

"You said this isn't finished and there is plenty of space in this scroll for more, but would you let us take this back to the tower so we can get started?"

I wanted to say 'no.' I was still coming up with things to add to it, but I also knew that holding things back because I wanted to save paper was a fool's game. Besides, I could always add more to it later.

I nodded and they thanked me before making me promise not to leave my bed. They were grateful for this new scroll but not at the expense of my health -they were doctors after all.

And then they left.

It was probably about 5pm if my internal clock was on schedule, so I had about an hour before the next ring of the Bell.

Even if I wasn't a man of my word, I would have lost the motivation to work with my current project taken from me while I was still in the middle of making it.

So, I did the thing I grew up doing when I was bedridden from illness: I looked out the window. From the bed I could only see the tops of the buildings on the other side of the courtyard. The Tower that was just poking in from the left had to be the Black Libra Tower.

The waves in Sindria were calmer yet stronger than those in Balbadd. It was probably due to Sinbad's influence. He brought stability and security to his people. I could understand why so many chose to follow him or ally with him. But I knew where all this would lead. As he obtains more power and influence he will stop being able to see himself from the pedestal that he and everyone else put him on; his greed will make him blind to the wants and needs of others, and like a middle aged parent that isn't ready for their child to leave the nest he will take out his frustration on the world that was moving on without him. When Sinbad dies at the end of the manga, Drakon realizes that they all put too much on Sinbad's shoulders.

To change Fate, I was going to have to make sure I never put him on that pedestal nor rely on him for much. And I was going to have to convince the 8 Generals to do the same -or at least to start pulling more of the weight.

The 6 o'clock Bell came faster than I expected, as well as my dinner not long after. They brought my clean laundry, a sleeping gown, and some other common clothes and things for my convenience.

I would have preferred something much shorter for the night gown since I hate having a lot of extra fabric around my legs when I already have blankets. I was not going to risk being walked in on by doctors or whoever when sleeping naked, so I would make do for now.

There was no way King Sinbad wasn't going to reward me for those scrolls. If it was some kind of treasure I'd sell it and buy a new wardrobe for myself that actually suited me, and if the reward was a request then I would ask that he pay for everything directly.

The light coming in my windows changed, and I watched my 2nd sunset in Sindria.

When Sinbad found this island 10 years ago, he completely terraformed it. He didn't get rid of all of the vegetation that was here, but he did break down one of the sides to allow for easier access by boat. The side he carved out faced northish towards all of the other known countries, so no boat would have a reason to circle the island. It was a decision that would benefit the merchants and make it easier to defend.

It also meant that my windows faced west, so I could watch the Sun set every day. I couldn't help but see that as a blessing and a curse. Sure not getting the sunrise meant I'd need to put more effort into

waking up in the morning but that wasn't the part I was worried about.

See- The thing is... I have synesthesia (having 2 or more senses overlapping). I see sounds, letters, and numbers as colors and textures. I have it mild enough that I can normally block it out so it's not too distracting (thank God because music is a main stim), but sometimes I'll hear something and get overwhelmed by how it looks.

Each letter and number is a color. So every voice can make every color, but language, pitch, tone, and accent all affect the colors and textures I see from a person's voice like a filter. There have definitely been some people that I struggled to give my full attention to when I first met them because I was entranced by how their voice looked. The more I hear a person's voice the more I'm able to move its visuals to the background so I can focus -desensitizing myself to it.

Luckily, Sinbad's voice is normally not so distracting that I stop paying attention. Since it's like a merger of every voice actor I've heard play him (All the characters I had met so far were like this.) I'm already desensitized. The similarities across all of the VAs meant that his voice looked like a sunset -full of deep purples and magentas, and bright reds, peach, and gold, and with a smooth and flowing texture like painting in acrylic with a wet brush -like a painting of the last moments of a sunset.

His voice was as pretty as he was.

I hadn't actually gotten to see or hear him for a whole day. But I'd get to look at his voice's equivalent every day while living under his protection.

It was frustrating to admit -I barely knew him as a real person- yet I couldn't deny that I missed him. I feel asleep watching the sun set.

((I wasn't going to write about my synesthesia, but this is my fanfic and I thought it might be fun to reference the colors peoples voices make when the characters talk. I'm not going to paint every VA and head cannon, but I will describe them as I go. Ja'far's Japanese and English VAs have voices that look very different so finding the middle ground is proving tricky.

Also, anyone who noticed that the purple I see in Sinbad's voice is the same as the purple I've been using for the illustrations and comics is super smart and cool.))

[hot-wiings]

The One Where Father!Keigo Dresses Up As Santa.

Edited: 12-6-2020

You huffed as you watched the clock on the wall. Each minute that passed turned into an hour, and with each passing hour, you found yourself growing even more frustrated and upset. Keigo was supposed to take the week off on holiday, but he had to go out for an emergency. You knew your husband's occupation as a hero meant sometimes he'd be busy. As a Todoroki you knew this better than anyone, but it still hurt when he was absent. You were fine with Keigo leaving for an hour or two, but an 'hour or two' turned into the entire morning, which turned into the afternoon, and now it was already nine in the evening on Christmas eve.

The media wasn't even covering whatever emergency he handling which only infuriated you more.

Keigo promised to be here for the holidays, here for you and your daughter but he wasn't. It was important for him to be present for your daughter, she was at the age where she still believed in the magic of Santa, and old enough to look back and remember it once she was older. These were the important years. These were the important, fundamental years for a child, but her father wasn't even here, instead it was just you and your younger siblings, Natsuo, Fuyumi, and Shouto.

"Mommy! When is daddy gonna be home? Aunt Fuyumi said we have to be asleep for Santa to come. If daddy comes home and he's awake Santa won't come!"

"Oh, little bird, daddy's gonna be home soon, and I'll make him put on his pajamas and we'll all go to sleep as soon as Aunt Fuyumi and Uncle Shouto leave, okay?"

"Okay... But he better be here soon or I hope Santa gives him coal."

You chuckled at your daughter. The little out she gave you was adorable. With her lip jutting out and her arms crossed you could certainly tell she got her pouting genes from her father.

"If he's not home by the end of the hour I'll personally see to it that Santa gives him some coal."

A knock on the door broke you and your daughter away from each other. She flew to the door like a fly to light, a trait passed down through courtesy of her father. You followed after her so you could answer the door, stranger danger was something you were currently big on with her. She knew she wasn't allowed to open the door alone, even if she thought it was her father. You unlatched the door and opened it expecting your husband, but it wasn't. Instead, you came face to face with your younger brother Natsuo in a Santa suit.

"S-Santa?"

Your daughter shyly hid behind your legs as she peered up at the man before her. With his white hair and fake beard, your brother was a convincing fake Santa. You mouthed a quick thank you to your brother before kneeling to talk to your daughter.

"[D/N] it's Santa!"

"But Santa doesn't come until we're asleep, Aunt Fuyumi said so."

"Well, I make exceptions for the very good little girls. I needed to stop to let my deer use the bathroom, so I figured why not visit the Takami household and let little [D/N] open one gift early."

Your daughter gasped, looked up at you and tugged on your dress with a wide smile on her face.

"Mommy, can I open a present from Santa?"

"Of course baby! Why don't you go take him to the tree and I'll bring him some cookies we made. But only one before bed, okay?"

You chuckled as watched your daughter grasp Natsuo's hand tightly and pull him further in the house. You shut the door and locked it to preserve the heat before going to the fridge to pull out some milk and cookies. It wasn't long before you heard the sound of keys jangling, with milk and cookies forgotten you made your way to the door, unlocked it, and swung it open.

"Well, look who finally decided to show up."

"Baby..."

Keigo gave you a sheepish expression as he made his way inside the house. He kicked off his snowy shoes and placed them by the door before turning to you. He knew you were mad, furious even. He knew he should've told them he couldn't come out, he should've said he needed to be with his family, but he didn't.

"I know you're angry."

"What gave it away?"

"I shouldn't have gone out on Christmas, but I'm a hero, and that's what heroes do."

"I know that Keigo, I know that, you know who doesn't? Our seven-year-old daughter. You wanna know who's been asking where you were all night? Our daughter."

Keigo let out a ragged sigh as he made way to the bedroom. You hadn't even noticed he had a plastic bag in his hand until he set it on the bed and started to pull clothes out of it.

"If you think gifts are gonna make up for the absence, think again. I know firsthand that means shit, besides, Santa's supposed to come tonight."

"You think I'm that simple-minded?"

Keigo turned to you with a shit-eating grin as he held the material from the bag up to his body. Red with white linings, it was a Santa suit, and you were sure there was a beard and hat still in the bag.

"The absence of her father is going to be meaningless once Santa shows up."

You chuckled as you looked at your husband. This was his grand idea? Show up as Santa and everything will be fine. While it might've been a good idea, your daughter could never pass her father off as Santa, she saw him every morning, every night. Besides that fact, Natsou was already out being a believable Santa.

Then again, the idea of Keigo going out in a Santa suit when Santa was already here amused you. You could already feel your anger dissipating.

"How are you gonna pull that one off? Last I checked, Santa didn't have wings."

Keigo turned around and scrambled his hands into the bag searching for something. Finally, with said item in hand, he turned around and waved it in front of you.

"I got a harness. I use it when I go undercover, it helps conceal my wings."

Keigo began to strip himself and then he pulled on the Santa suit. Before he got to the top he slipped the harness on. It had two straps on each side meant to go under the arms and wrap around his wings. Keigo put his arms over it and tried reaching behind to pull it through the loop and tie the ends together but he couldn't reach. Usually, he had his sidekick do this.

"Can you help tighten it? I can't reach."

"Oh, how the turn tables have turned."

"Just help me, I promise I'll never tease you for your height again."

"That's a lie, and we both know it."

You huffed, but never the less grabbed onto the harness and pulled the lines over his wings. You pulled the right tie through the metal loop on the left and pulled tight.

"Damn baby, could you be any tighter? Might have to bring my harness home more often."

"Don't make me put you on the naughty list."

Keigo chuckled as you tied off the harness and handed him his coat. He buttoned himself up and put the fake beard on before turning to face you.

"How do I look?"

"Like you're too skinny."

"Hey now, don't body shame Santa. I could put you on the naughty list."

Keigo walked out into the entertainment room where you had the tree put up to find his daughter. He could just imagine the look of surprise and happiness on her face when she saw Santa.

"Ho-ho-ho, Santa is here!"

Upon seeing him, Keigo's daughter was anything but happy. She was rather upset that her father dared to claim he was Santa, not when the real Santa was behind her.

"Daddy! What are you doing?"

"I'm not your father, I'm Santa!"

"Daddy, Santa is behind me, he's gonna put you on the naughty list."

It was then that he noticed Natsuo in a Santa costume behind her. Your daughter ran up to Keigo so he knelt down to her height to talk to her. She grabbed into his shirt tightly and urgently.

"Identify theft is bad daddy, Santa will throw you in jail."

"What? No."

"Lucky for you, I've spent the evening with Santa. I'm going to give you a once in a lifetime opera- opporatunity- chance. A once in a lifetime chance."

Keigo's daughter leaned into him and whispered quickly in his ear.

"I hope you're a good liar, in exchanged for you sneaking cookies past mom, I'll tell Santa you were forced to do it by the Grinch."

"Kid, I like the way you think, peanut butter or sugar cookie?"

"Sugar cookie."

His daughter broke away from him and ran up to Natsuo, or rather Santa Claus. She threw her arm into her head dramatically, like she was in a soap opera.

"Santa, oh Santa. The evil Grinch is back at it again! He forced my daddy to put on a suit and steal your identity. Please don't send him to jail! Or worse! The naughty list."

Natsuo gave his best hearty chuckle that he imagined Santa would give. Honestly, he just did his best to mimic All Might.

"That Grinch sure is a scoundrel! I'll let your father off the hook this time, but next time he better watch out, and he better not cry."

Keigo stood up and walked over to you. He wrapped his arms around you and let his head rest on your shoulder which you gladly accepted.

"You set me up."

"Maybe... But hey, at least you're off my naughty list."

Keigo might be absent from time to time, and you might get angry at him for it, but he always came back. He made you happy, he made you and [D/N] happy and secure. In the end, that was what mattered.

[bepatientandpersistent]

Y'all, I have really been struggling this month. With everything. My weight, my body image, my eating habits, not drinking enough water, school, finances, my social life, my love life, my mental health, everything. It's been rough. I can't tell if things are getting better, but I wish they would. I don't know how to make things better. I don't know how to make myself feel better. I've been taking Lexapro for one month. I suppose it's helping, because I haven't had any more breakdowns, and most of the time I'm not sad, but I think that's because I'm always too stressed to be sad lol. I have noticed that it is still making me feel very fatigued and all I want to do is sleep. It has also been making me dream, and have some scary thoughts I've never had before (leaning towards suicidal but not quite). It's starting to concern me a little because I don't want them to escalate. I have a follow up appointment with my doctor in a month to see how I feel about the medication overall. I'll discuss all these things with her then.

Anyway, the point of this post is that I finally made myself go to the gym tonight! I think the breaking point was my fatigue today. I didn't sleep well last night, and took a nap between classes, and after that I just had no energy. I didn't wanna get out of bed. I think I've felt that way for the last month. I used to be able to sleep 4-6 hours and be on the go for the whole day. Sure, I'd be tired, but I could function. Recently I have been having to force myself to get out of bad, even if I have slept 10-12 hours, or even more. I've been sleeping 6-8 hours back to back with only a few hours of being awake, if my schedule allows for it. And still feeling tired. So I decided today that I have to drag myself out of that cycle. I have to start exercising again to try to give myself more energy, and also improve my mood. The way I've been recently isn't helping me any, it's actually caused me to fall behind in one of my classes and miss out on things with family and friends. Time to try something new.

I worked out for about an hour, doing a mix of cardio and weight machines. It felt great to move my body and get my heart rate up for a while. Right now I feel a little energized but I worry that once I go upstairs to my room to work on homework, I'll just wanna go to bed.. guess we'll see! I'm gonna try to stay up for a few hours to get some homework done that I'm behind on.

Also, I only have 2 weeks left this semester! I'm so so ready for our winter break that will be almost 1 month long! It is much needed!

[wintrgarden]

a latte for your thoughts?

// a fan fiction dedicated to the winter garden couple of hospital playlist //

-----

"Ikjun, do you have my warm cup of hot latte?" Jeong won said, while walking towards him in the hospital's open space to take a break during his night shift.

"Here. Isn't it tiring in the PICU these days?" Ikjun replied with worried eyes.

"A little. I don't mind it though.

Yah, do you remember my liver transplant patient, Mina?"

"Yeah, the one where we had to cut the donor's liver to a quarter because it won't fit the tiny baby's body. What about her?"

"I went to her a while ago. She woke up, and winked at me like this!" Jeongwon lit up whenever he talks about his patients' recovery. His eyes sparkled and his smile widened. He repeated the wink so much that it could have been mistaken for a blink. In fact, he was so giddy that he didn't notice someone approaching.

"Professor Ikjun? The test results of patient Jiwon are out. Could you take a look at it?"

Jang Gyeoul, the third year resident of General Surgery has been standing there for a few moments, waiting for the two professors to actually notice.

While hiding his laugh, Ikjun followed suit. Jeongwon was left on the bench with an unwavering smile on his face.

Looking at him, one would think that his drink was too sweet to make him smile like that. Eavesdropping on their conversation would transform him into a humanitarian. But to delve into his thoughts --- now that, that's a different story.

It's nice to actually see an angel, once in a while. Just enough to keep me on my feet. I might be even enthralled by its eyes that don't wink but are enveloped with fascinating halo-like things. Even if this angel doesn't have wings, it has the most power to chase evil away. I wasn't sure if this angel could save me --- until it actually did.

------

"Yah, Ahn Jeongwon, are you sleeping here again?" Junwan said, while entering their shared office.

"O~ I just finished my night shift. I just lied down."

"Have you eaten?"

"I'll eat later."

"I also haven't eaten yet. Let's eat breakfast."

"Will you stop bugging me if I eat?" Junwan then pulled Jeongwon out of the cot, and dragged him to the packed cafeteria to fall in line.

------

"One iced latte, please. Oh, and a sandwich."

With the same baggy eyes and pale skin, Gyeoul was ordering her morning coffee. Just enough to keep her awake until she gets home.

"Annyeonghaseyo~" She greeted the two professors.

"De~" Jeongwon said, while Junwan nodded in response.

CODE BLUE --- CS. 3RD FLOOR. CODE BLUE --- CS. 3RD FLOOR.

Without a beat, Junwan, a Cardiothoracic Surgery Professor, left hurriedly. Jeongwon was then left alone. Gyeoul took her order and searched for a seat.

"One warm cup of hot latte and a pancake, please."

After getting his order, Jeongwon followed through and tried to find his way in the crowd. It was full of doctors and nurses waiting to start their morning shifts, so the noise was understandable.

"Professor! Here!" Gyeoul pointed to a newly vacant seat in front of her. The morning rush got the best of them that Jeongwon didn't think twice and made his way.

The crowd was boisterous. Jeongwon and Gyeoul's silence was awkward. It was not the kind of environment you'd want after a 12-hour shift.

But it was all worth it. At least for one of them.

"How was the Emergency Room last night?" Jeongwon blurted after taking a bite of his pancake.

"It's okay. There were a lot of unpredictable cases, most of which were tiring, as usual." Gyeoul's detailed answer was so calm. It seemed that the Professor's unexpected friendliness didn't bother her.

"Do you have someone to take you home?"

"What? No. I can go by myself." With a polite tone, Gyeoul showed her surprise with the question.

"I'll give you a ride home."

"No, you don't need to---"

"I insist. I still haven't bought you the meal you asked from me, anyway. Can a ride home suffice?"

Gyeoul was bewildered. But with the professor's kind nature, it seemed like something he would do for literally anyone. He wasn't called the "Buddha" for nothing, anyway.

-----

"It's that apartment on the right, Professor."

"This one?"

"Yes. Thank you for the ride."

"It's not a problem. The next time we catch ourselves on a rough patch, I can take you home again."

Gyeoul smiled. Her first that day. Then, she opened the door to get out.

"Oh, shit! I forgot!" The car stopped. Jeongwon's shock even surprised Gyeoul.

"Why, Professor? What happened?"

"I totally forgot about it. I was scheduled to get my car battery change the other week, then I forgot and was planning to do it today."

Sleeping in the cot that morning wasn't just to save time to rest up. He actually had long, overdue chores and was saving some energy to do them.

"Do you have a contact to a car battery seller?" Gyeoul asked.

"Yeah, I'll contact them now."

It was still early in the morning, around 6 o'clock. The service opened at 9 o'clock, so delivery wasn't possible after an hour or so.

Gyeoul stayed with him until things got settled. It was getting chilly, and the overwhelming fatigue got the best out of Jeongwon.

"Professor, you could rest a little in my place... if you like. You can sleep while waiting."

Jeongwon hesitated a bit, but decided to give in.

------

"I'll just get an extra pillow and some blankets." said Gyeoul, while Jeongwon helped in fixing the convertible sofa bed in her living room.

Once fixed, he sat and removed his shoes.

"You live alone?" he asked Gyeoul once she got back.

"Yes, for a while now." she replied as she handed him the pillow.

"Ah, I see."

"I'll just be in my room. You can call me if you need anything."

"Thank you... Also, I'm sorry for being so troublesome." His shy look gave him away.

"It's nothing, don't worry." Gyeoul smiled, and went into her room.

Jeongwon lied down. He couldn't believe what was happening --- and how the situation could naturally give a wrong impression. If he told Ikjun about this, he would make fun of him and joke about how he got things to escalate so quickly. Junwan would tap him on the back and commend him for finally picking up some tricks of his. Songhwa would be very much amused, and would romanticize the whole situation. Meanwhile, Seokhyeong would remind him that he's an OB-GYN Professor, and that he delivers babies very well. He would be of service to Jeongwon if ever he needed one.

His thoughts started to tone down, and after no time, he was asleep.

-------

"Professor?"

......

"Professor? I fixed some lunch. Do you want to eat?" Gyeoul wore an apron over some loose shirt and pajamas now, and sun was already high up.

Jeongwon looked at his wrist watch.

2:24 PM.

He quickly sat up.

"I'm sorry, did the service arrive? I must have been in a deep sleep."

"Yes, they arrived a few hours ago. I tried to wake you, but you were soundly asleep."

"I'm really sorry. You had to pay them, didn't you? I'll just pay you back."

"The receipts are there, over the table."

Jeongwon went to get them, and was distracted with the smell of food coming from the kitchen.

"Professor, I fixed some lunch for us, if you want to eat..."

He felt ashamed to take another offer, but hearing his stomach grumble made him look the other way, again.

Gyeoul was already fixing the table for two, while Jeongwon sat quietly and contemplated how much trouble he caused her all in a single day.

"I'm really sorry... I meant to wake up, seriously. I was just really tired from last night."

"It's okay." Gyeoul said with a chuckle. "I'm not holding anything against you, Professor." she added as she handed out his chopsticks.

"Thank you for the meal." he then said.

Everything was new to Ahn Jeongwon. He didn't need to wipe the table, or arrange the food, or even wear an apron. He didn't even need to worry if he was going to get enough food, as everything was already at his disposal. This new scenario keeps him gushing.

Being alone with a girl, in her apartment, eating her cooked food, and feeling something that only grown-ups alone in an enclosed space would feel. It wasn't like this was the first time something like this is happening, he often said to himself. It somehow eased his discomfort.

All while knowing the truth that this is in fact the first time.

But it's not like Jeongwon didn't have the opportunity and ability to; he just chose not to. His faith led him to a different path, and he was decisive to go this way. For the longest time, this weighed more than any choice he had to make in his life. But this time, something, or perhaps someone, was gonna tip the scale.

-----

"Yah! Jang Gyeoul! What's this?" Chu Minha screamed as Gyeoul entered the GS Department, in time for another night shift.

Someone left iced latte for her. With a double bacon sandwich. And some patches to ease pain. It came with a written note, saying:

"To my Good Samaritan. Thank you~

---- Ahn Jeongwon"

The handwriting made Gyeoul smile.

"Why did Pediatric Surgeon Prof. Ahn Jeongwon gave you coffee? And why are you smiling?"

"Nothing. It's just to repay a good deed."

"That's the most vague yet unsuspicious answer I've ever heard! Good deeds really cannot be questioned at all. I wish someone would also give me coffee." Minha wouldn't stop, but Gyeoul wasn't listening either.

She focused on the note. And the coffee. And the sandwich.

While remembering the long day with Ahn Jeongwon.

[ka-za-ri]

Hi ~ I'm not sure you're still taking requests for the sensory prompts but if you do : 56 Takahiro please ~

I’m still taking them! I’m workin’ hard to clear up my backlog so I can keep taking them! This seems to have come at an ideal time seeing as it’s Takahiro’s birthday today :3 

Someone accepting the bad parts of you without judging

Midday, halfwaythrough June.

Sunlight beatrelentlessly down the back of his neck as he bolted down the streetsto meet up with you. Late. Late. Late again, as usual. But, Takahiroclung onto the hope that you would still be there. Across thehustling crowds of the city, he panted in time with his heart thathammered in his chest from anxiety. He hoped, prayed, wished that youwould remain steadfast in your love for him.

Left turn. Rightturn. Right again. Right once more. Or was it to the left? His mindran in circles while his legs carried him aimlessly. Time and timeagain, he boarded the train only to run out at the wrong station.Again and again he sent a wordless prayer and a quick text message,hoping you’d believe him.

I’m on my way.

See you soon.

I’m almostthere.

Three hours pastyour appointed time, you paused your life in hopes that he wouldappear. Only when the ruthless summer sun set and washed the worldwith its glowing embers did he appear, drenched in his wishes to seeyou.

“You made it.”

“Sorry I took solong.”

“It’s fine.”  

Takahiro’s grip onyour hand tightened just a little and your heart felt light. The waitwas worth it in the end.

October 6:34 PM.

Coffee too sweet andtwenty degrees colder than you had expected it to be was his idea ofsaying ‘I’m sorry, I forgot about our date.”

Wrapped in a scarftoo garishly colored to be acceptable, he asked for forgiveness as heheld onto your hand and tugged you on the most amazing impromptuplayground excursion he could manage.

Not much to remembersave for the sound of gravel crunching underfoot, the squeak of aswing being pushed and the gentle warmth of scarf he shared aroundyour neck when the winds blew a little too loudly. He gathered pilesof crimson gradient leaves to fling towards you in a shower ofappreciation, hoping you could forgive him for his nature for hisinability to ever find the right time to see you.

While the steam fromthe coffee disappeared into the night, you opted to keep warm byplucking at the piles of leaves and finding ones that matched thecolors of his kisses on your cheeks.

“Sorry I forgot.”

“It’s fine.”

He’d smile, name the stars after your eyes and you’d forgot how to be angry at him for a little bit. 

December 8thfive seconds past midnight.

“Happy birthday,Takahiro.”

He turned towardsyou, cracking open a bleary eye, not registering what you had saidwhen you gently woke him from his sleep. “Five more minutes.” Hegrunted before falling back into deep slumber. You wanted to be theone to greet yet another year with your love and he was barely thereenough to acknowledge it.

The only day he wassupposed to remember was the one that he called his own. Yet, therehe was, sleeping right past his alarm for the sake of a few extraminutes.

Midday.

His phone wouldn’tstop buzzing from alerts and well wishes from his friends. He spentmost of the morning replying to as many as he could, now regrettingthat decision as he rushes out the door to catch his train on time.“I’ll make it up to you, I’m sorry. So much has come up and…”He trails off, unable to find any more excuses for his flightiness.

“Just come homesafe.” you replied, hoping to quell any sadness you had for notbeing able to spend time with him.

“Of course.” Hereassured before the door slammed shut and his phone was left buzzingmadly on the coffee table from birthday wishes not your own.

11:59 PM

Hours seemed longand the day was spent forgiving Takahiro for being who he was. Whenthe day just about clicked over, you held your breath in hopes thathe would make it home on time and be awake enough to hear your ownbirthday wish for him.

12:01 AM

Sometimes, birthdaywishes didn’t come true.

3:14 AM and 15seconds past the minute.

“I’m sorry I’mhome late.”

“It’s fine…”

He kisses yourdrooping eyelids softly, apologetically and runs his hands throughyour hair.

“I’m glad youwere the first.” He murmurs.

And all was forgivenas he held you in his arms until the sun rose.