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#and now he feels even more alienated by top's very selfish way to try and make it up to him
ctl-yuejie · 8 months
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i cannot yell enough about top not telling mew he slept in his bed and even without that knowledge mew tries not to have anything to do with him - that last scene was very much not a romantic gesture
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naturepointstheway · 18 days
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My 10 Longest Fics on AO3 As of May 30, 2024
So out of curiosity, I went to my AO3 works (username there is HathorAroha, which was my old username before I changed my tumblr url to my current one), and sorted my works by word count, and here's the top 10 longest ones so far in order from biggest:
Of Ghosts and Carols - Beauty and the Beast - G - No Warnings Apply - 39,379 words (multi-chapter) A few days before Christmas one year, Prince Adam, already turned selfish and bitter by his past and by his now-deceased father, is visited by an Enchantress who foretells his visitation by three ghosts who will show him his past, present, and what may be in his future if he does not learn to try to open his heart again to love now that his cruel father is dead.
30 Days of Beauty and the Beast: One Line, Different Character - Beauty and the Beast - T - No Warnings Apply - 33,758 words (multi-chapter, but all just one shots if that makes sense) As the title suggests, thirty one-shots for thirty days where I take a single line from the movie spoken by one character, and give it to someone else, however likely or unlikely. Characters and other tags will be added as each one shot is added day by day. One-shots' lengths vary from tiny drabbles to long ones, and I'll aim to be mostly fluffy/non-angsty. Take note, I said "mostly".
Snowflakes, Witches, and Eternity - Frozen/Snow Queen Crossover - G - No Warnings Apply - 27,767 words (multi-chapter) One afternoon, an unexpected blizzard carries little Anna and Elsa to the Land of Oz. The sisters are separated, with Elsa lured into the Snow Queen's embrace and Anna lost somewhere in Oz. While Elsa stays in the Snow Queen's castle, Anna searches Oz for her beloved sister, whose heart has been turned to ice. Anna must find Elsa before it is too late and she loses her for good.
Beauty and the Fourteen Prompts - Beauty and the Beast - G - No Warnings Apply - 18,535 words (multi-chapter, but a series of one-shots) A collection of my fanfic responses to the 14 writing prompts in @tinydooms' #BATB14fics writing challenge for January 2019 on Tumblr. I am doing it out of order of her list of prompts, going with which ones are inspiring me most first, and leave the rest for later. Even if "later" is two years later! See Chip's excitement over a new writing desk (very grown up indeed!), the village baker's thoughts on Belle's remarks on his job, and more! And that's all my multi-chapters (I tend not to like doing multi-chapters because i get bored way too quickly XD). Now it's ALL one-shots, and of COURSE my first ever explicit fic ends up being the biggest of them all. Why. Why. *shrugs*
Manes, Magic, and Pleasure - Cats the Musical - E - No Warnings Apply - 9400 words - Tuggoffelees (Mistoffelees/Tugger)
Misto gazed up at him with a rapturous, untethered grin full of pure joy, his eyes sparkling like a moonless, clear sky. Beautiful, phenomenal, magical. Tugger couldn’t help but press a kiss on his soft cheek and one more on his temple, paws still interlaced with his."
Just shy of a whole year after the last Jellicle Ball, Tugger discovers one day that Mistoffelees is ready to go farther with their relationship, despite his worries about overwhelming him with the sensations. At the end there is trust, so much trust, and so much love.
6. House and Home and Security - Life is Strange 2 - T - No Warnings Apply - 8193 words Hours after leaving prison behind forever, Sean finds himself at Daniel's new home, a house he can never feel is his, no matter how much Daniel insists it's his home too whenever he needs it. And there is a strange, forgotten feeling both alien and familiar, one he has nearly forgotten over the last fifteen years he had spent in a prison cell. And how is it that Daniel is already so grown up, a young man of twenty-five years?
7. On the Breath of a Storm - Life is Strange - T - Major Character Death - 8011 words - Pricefield (Chloe/Max) - Alternate Timeline "Our" Max, the Max of our timeline, leaves a note behind on the offchance that the alternate timeline with Chloe in a wheelchair will continue without her. Alternate Max "awakes" to the letter, and is forced to face what has happened to Chloe. A storm still approaches the bay, unseen and all warnings from this strange Max not of this world unheeded.
8. And So the Little Wolf Outlived the Big Wolf - Life is Strange 2 - T - No Archive Warnings (read the trigger warnings in the tags though!) - 7923 words - Lone Wolf Ending It is seven years since Sean's death at the border, and the day Daniel has dreaded since then has come: the day he officially outlives his older brother. On the night of Daniel's seventeenth, Sean comes to him in a dream and makes him promise to call someone, anyone, just so he isn't alone anymore.
9. I'm Somewhere, You're Somewhere, I'm Nowhere, You're Nowhere - Life is Strange - T - Major Character Death - 6214 words - Alternate Timeline - Pricefield
Maxine Caulfield wakes up after a night of partying it up and clubbing for her eighteenth birthday to discover a text on her cellphone:
"Max, it’s with a saddened heart I have to tell you Chloe passed away last night, 21st September, at 11:30pm."
She resolves to visit Chloe one more time, like the hypocrite that she is.
10. The Mute and the Maine - Cats the Musical - T - No Archive Warnings apply (read the tags for trigger warnings, however) - 5744 words - Tuggoffelees (Mistoffelees/Tugger)
Troubled by Demeter's words about Mistoffelees, a mute cat mostly outcast by the tribe, Tugger takes it onto himself to have a talk with Misto, and let him know he is not alone. [Originally posted on Tumblr] [Based on Lindsay Chambers' Mistoffelees from the very late '80s/very early '90s in a Zurich production.]
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muiltifandomnerd · 4 months
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Adventures of Chika Hanabusa: The Restoration of Earth
Disclaimer: This book follows the events of Percy Jackson and Heros of Olympus fanfic, this fanfic will not include Trails of Apollo, The Kane Chronicles, and Magnus Chase.
Chapter 24: Gaia’s Guilt
Chika PoV
I went to sleep after the reunion party after Nico dropped the both of us back to my home even though it was the afternoon. I felt myself going back to the unconscious realm. The field is still full of different flowers and plants. I never thought that this place could be pretty. Guess who decided to appear before me, it’s the same being that terrorizes innocent people. Gaia seems to be wearing jeans with a green tank top. Her humanoid form is about 7 feet tall with brown hair similar to tree roots and she does have the hugest bust I see. I'm not going to lie, she's super attractive.
“Oh, why to thank you, demigod, for the compliment, I’m glad that you found me appealing. By the way, I heard everything from this reunion party” Gaia stares at me with tearful eyes. Oh no, she can hear my thoughts. Wait why does Gaia look sad than flight out evil or angry? She suddenly pulls me in for a hug and kisses my cheek. Wait what is going on, last time she was all like 'I hate humanity'? I think Mother got her crazy mood swings from Gaia, that's what makes Gaia scary. It's the fact that I'm dealing with a rated-R version of my mother.
"You poor children, I never know your godly parents are nothing but deadbeat failures. This entire time, I just victimized another species that were harmed by those golden-blooded idiots. I honestly just assumed your kind are nothing but a bunch of glory-seeking idiots like back in classical times like Achilles, Hercules, and other selfish heroes." Gaia kept hugging me to her chest, which was surprisingly comfortable.
“I wish you give demigods a chance before you start another war," I say in an annoyed tone. Gaia holds her chin as if she is rethinking her strategy in some checkers' game. Gaia just decided to give me another cheek kiss and kept on hugging me to death. What is with the Earth being very bipolar? Gaia is super confusing; Well, I guess even she is more alien than the gods themselves. Sometimes nature can be warm and sweet like a sunny day with birds flying everywhere and suddenly earthquakes and tornadoes happen the next second.
“Perhaps I should have, but I still want your kind to stop damaging and polluting my domain.”
“Of course, I do want to save the Earth from pollution, but I'm not going to kill demigods or humans to achieve that," I say assertively while Gaia just pats my head.
“We don’t need to do that anymore. Besides your kind burned me for it, so I learn my lesson" Gaia laughs at her joke while I facepalm.
“I’m not sure what to feel about you Gaia and I know that you are not sure about me. Maybe we can try to form a partnership. We need to trust each other; I don’t want to go through that scenario when you possess me to eat gods.” Gaia just starts sitting in front of me and staring at me, but it’s not in contempt. She looks deeply ashamed and remorseful about it.
“You’re right, we do need to trust each other. I’m very sorry that I possessed you to consume Nyx’s kids that day and that I won’t possess you again. This will be a very slow process.”
“You’re right, it will be a slow process. I’m willing to forgive you for that day, but I don’t want to go through that again. Please swear on the river Styx that you will never possess me to harm others again.” I bowed before while she still stared at me.
“Whatever you want mortal, I swear on the river Styx that I will only help you if your life is in danger and by your permission to do so.” Thunder strikes between us, signifying the pact between Gaia and me.
"Now then mortal if you are serious about your goal, seek the current Lord of The Wild, Grover Underworld. He has taken Pan's spot, and you must help him on his mission.” Gaia says in a low cracking tone that sounded like tremors.
“I will seek him, thank you for the meeting.” I still bowed while Gaia walked over to me and held me up like a little kid. She is super strong; I would not want to get into a fistfight with her.
"Now go mortal, I hope you are better than the others. Help me restore my realm. "She said and suddenly I woke up on Reyna's chest while she was sleeping on the couch. She must have taken a nap as well. I have no idea how I ended up sleeping on Reyna's chest. I guess the party took a lot from us. You know what, I'm still going to lay on Reyna's chest because Reyna looks super peaceful while she takes her nap. Plus, I don't want to be an annoying jerk to her, I proceed to lay my head on her boobs and try to fall asleep again. Gaia and I are still at an uneasy truce for now but maybe our relationship will improve with time.
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captnjacksparrow · 3 years
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if you had to rank your fav naruto characters how would it go? love your blog btw!!
Hmmm... Complicated ask, anon.😂
[My personal life would be splashed here and there. Please bear with me]
Before 5 months, if you asked me about Naruto, my response would be ‘What the fuck is that?’. I absolutely had no idea such a treasure existed. For me, it started out like a blockbuster movie for the sheer variety of fights and the resulting emotions it brought within me. 
However, there was a point I stopped and thought, ‘Wait a fucking second. This resembles my family dynamics. This person is speaking the exact same lines I spoke to my parents few years ago. This person’s situation resembles mine. Did this creator a time traveler?’. Naruto is the only piece of media that gave me such feel. Am not even exaggerating, believe me. 
I really liked so many characters very much but am going to try my best to list just 10. 
The only characters I hate in this series are Danzo, Sakura and Hinata in no particular order. Meaning, I absolutely cannot see any positives in them. They are crassy, cringey and completely detestable.
FAVOURITE NARUTO CHARACTERS
10. Killer Bee
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HaHaHa :-) Just seeing this character makes me smile and light-hearted.
It’s a pity that he is the only character who don’t belong to Konoha in my Top 10 rankings who was developed well apart from Gaara.
I loved him from Frame 1 onwards and I sincerely wished Team Taka should be packed up with their ass beaten up mercilessly. And that’s what happened.
Despite being a Jinchurikki, he never bothered to mind his surroundings and filled his heart with love from his over protective Brother alone was nice to watch.
He makes a great Tag Partner with Naruto next to Sasuke. No doubt.
The way Killer Bee treated Team Taka like some annoying flies and his cool and don’t care attitude was top notch. It’s not just with Sasuke, Bee treated Naruto with the same IDGAF attitude at first.
Best Moments:
Lariat punch to Sasuke (TBH, Sasuke deserved it. LOL)
Blasted off every member of Team Taka like a doll
His entire conversation and fight sequence with Kisame (Their banters and exchanges are way too hilarious)
His dynamics with his Elder Brother (God!!!! Whenever Raikage gives him an Iron Claw.... What a hilarious duo!!!!)
9. Hatake Kakashi
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Kakashi was my most favourite character when I started the series for simply being ultra-cool with the way he conducted the Bell-Test and taught a valuable lesson for those bratty kids in Team 7 called ‘Team Work’. 
Best Moments:
Kakashi vs Obito Hand-to-Hand Combat (the best in the series)
Kakashi in the Gaara retrieval arc (His fight with Itachi & Deidara gave a good start to the shippuden series. His Mangekyou reveal was surprising).
Kakashi & Guy teaming up with Naruto to reveal Obito in a twisty and tragic way. (Kakashi couldn’t handle the truth at all and neither did I)
Kakashi vs Zabuza (That’s when I realized that the series was getting real serious)
8. Jiraiya
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Jiraiya was my next favourite to Kakashi during my Part 1 days. His open perversion and his entire dynamics with Naruto was one of the best things during the Chunin Exams arc. Taught Naruto about Chakra Control and about the way of a shinobi by just enduring. Naruto follows this even today.
Best Moments: 
Kuchiyose No Jutsu training (Man, I never expected him to push Naruto off the cliff)
Rasengan Training (One of the best arcs in part 1 and it was soo satisfying to see Naruto punching his first Rasengan on Kabuto, He also acted like a quasi parent to Naruto... heartwarming)
Jiraiya Vs Six paths of Pain ( 6 vs 1 was always doomed but still he had the guts of a shinobi and plunged ahead)
7. Uchiha Madara
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Geez. What is there to not like him?? 
Everything he did was absolutely wrong ever since he broke up with Hashirama in a romantic way much similar to how couples break up in my country.
I am an Uchiha. You are a Senju. I wish it had been different.
This roughly translates to how 75% of lovers break up and marry someone else from their own clan in my state. (Duh!!!)
I am from XXX clan, you are from XXX clan. So we can’t love each other and my parents won’t accept this relationship. So let’s break up.
Alright, my first shipping couple in this series is HashiMada for this exact reason. (I started shipping SNS only after episode 478). 
Just like Hashirama, Madara had an extensive build up right from episode 1 where Kurama compares Sasuke with Madara. And flashbacks from Itachi and Tobi spiked my curiosity and I wanted to see his face so badly ever since.
But the moment he landed gracefully like a diva in episode 321.... Woaahhhh!!!! He literally danced in the battlefield and ate up 100′s of guys with just a fucking Sharingan. 
Best Moments:
Going Shirtless before 1000′s of people with Hashirama’s face, no less (Well, I literally went heart-eyed for 5 minutes. Sorry Sasuke, your ancester was way much sexier than you in the Orochimaru hideout and beats you by a million points).
Screaming Hashirama’s name like a cockatoo for 300 times even till the very end (Sorry Naruto, your obsession towards Sasuke for about 6 arcs is pale in comparison to Madara’s obsession which was established in just 6 or 7 episodes.)
I have 25 clones now. Do you want me to put Susanoo or not? You can’t answer. The answer is yes. (Man, his I don’t give a fuck attitude is just an alien level thing)
Openly admitting Only Hashirama Can Beat Me (Say what you will about Sasuke, Madara has no qualms about accepting his inferiority in terms of power. An absolute Straight Forward diva-queen)
Awakening Sharingan for breaking up with his ‘friend’ rather than for his 3 dead brothers. (Geez, Poor Soul. He is the forefather of a Romantic Uchiha. That romantic blood still flows in Sasuke)
6. Senju Hashirama
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Man, I would have placed him somewhere in top 5 if only he was introduced early or had more scenes. I started watching Naruto only because of this very name. There is a local podcaster in my state who goes under the alias of Senju Hashirama and in his podcasts, he hinted about this character and how he was inspired by his ideals. I just googled and saw that this character belonged to Naruto series and I considered watching it. Here I am, making analysis on that very series.
There was this excellent build up for him right when we got introduced to Captain Yamato. He was constantly referred in flashbacks from Itachi and Tobi especially.
But the moment he was reanimated again..... Geez..... It was an hilarious ride all throughout. Out of all the flashbacks we got from this series, Founders Era flashback was my absolute favourite.
From where I come from, we are still under the stupid influence of Clan infrastructure and are not growing up in many aspects like people in western countries do. For me, I hope, one day, someone like Senju Hashirama appears in our state and change our lives for better by uniting all clans as one and treats everyone equally without the shitty favouritism for their own children, friends, parents, siblings.
That’s why this dialogue struck a thunder in my heart
“Be they a friend.... Be they a sibling.... Be it even my own child. I will not forgive anyone who threatens the village.”
Because the clan leaders in our place are absolutely selfish, trash bastards who serves their own needs with no regards for other people from other clans. For a person like me, Hashirama is not just a fictional hero, he is someone who many aspires to become. No wonder that podcaster chose this name as his alias.
He rightfully deserved the title ‘God of Shinobi’. And no one can surpass him, not even Naruto.
Best Moments:
Wood Style vs Eternal Mangekyou sharingan + Kurama powered Madara (He just beats Madara’s ass by a wide margin. This shows he was a whole fucking different level than Naruto + Sasuke combined. In terms of strength, nobody surpassed him YET. Sorry Naruto and Sasuke, you guys are no match even now with your Rinnegan and Kurama lost forever).
His entire banters with Madara (ROFLLLL. Without him, it would have been just another lifeless arc.)
5. Senju Tobirama
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Hmmm, let me tell you something about him.
First off, he is not a racist or fascist as many hardcore Sasuke fanatics claims. He is one of the best hokages according to me. He is abso-fucking-lutely practical, rational, logical and holds no grudge. And Sasuke resembles Tobirama with all these characteristics as compared to soft and naive Naruto. If only he had more screen time, he would be easily in my top 3. 
Just because he didn’t lick the boots of Uchiha (many people’s favorite clan or may I say the only clan that was given any shit about in this series), it doesn’t make him a racist or fascist.
No, he never persecuted the Uchihas. Danzo, the crass bastard, driven off the Uchihas only after the Kyuubi incident. It was explicitly mentioned in the databook and was clearly explained in the series. 
He literally gave the highest position in the village for the entire clan. That is, a military power inside a military village. ‘Shinobi who can cause crimes can only be stopped by shinobi who are even better’. In my state, if a powerful clan decided to persecute another clan, they simply start by cutting off basic amenities like Water and Electricity. Compared to what I’ve seen, Tobirama did nothing but given the Uchihas, the highest position in their village. 
Orochimaru only said giving such a power made them conceited (arrogant). Tobirama had a trusted subordinate called Kagami, an Uchiha in his team. He suggested Kabuto to help Sasuke and even teleported him on his request. He even spited Madara for killing Sasuke, an Uchiha. He openly claimed Uchiha clan exceeds Senju in terms of Love. He openly appreciated Itachi and Kagami as someone who sees beyond their clan. In what world, would a racist or fascist do all this for a clan he hates??? 
Yes, he was cautious of Sasuke at first because he saw him with Orochimaru and even went full-on battle mode because of Sasuke’s carefree threat to destroy the village. But once he decided to go to the battlefield to fight Madara, he simply forgot everything that happened before and started to work with him as a comrade, and even helped him twice. In which world, a racist or fascist behave this way?
Believe me, a person like me who was grown with these clan politics surely can say who is a fascist. He was not. He was just cautious of them because of their ability to attain superpowers with just emotions alone. Let me ask you all this, ‘Would you be okay with people getting crazy powers whenever they are depressed?’. Being cautious is not racism. It really disrespects people who faced real oppression under fascism.
What Madara and Danzo did was a classical example of fascism. 
And No, Izuna didn’t die only because of Tobirama. He died because Madara was too arrogant to instigate war with Senju clan. And this was way before forming Konoha. If Tobirama killed Izuna after the alliance between Uchiha and Senju, I would agree that he was a racist. Izuna lost his life just like any other Uchiha and Senju soldiers in that battlefield. 
Just because he shitted your beloved ‘Sasuke-Kun’ doesn’t mean he is a racist too. Tobirama saw Sasuke along with that scoundrel Orochimaru who once used this very two hokages to destroy the very village they strived hard to create and protect. What will you do, if you were in his place?? Please don’t lie and say ‘I wouldn’t be judgemental’. 
And Imagine you are Tobirama, Sasuke is threatening to commit genocide against the entire village who had no idea about this coup detat instead of going against those old hags. Will you sit quiet as a Hokage?? 
He was the first person to suggest his brother, Itama, that Revenge against Uchihas are futile. All we need is an agreement to make truce. That gave the idea for Hashirama to pursue his dream. And Tobirama was happy to follow that dream and very supportive. 
It’s because of all these reasons I placed him above Senju Hashirama.
Best Moments:
Amazing power display against Sasuke & Co with just an index finger (It was a pleasure to see everyone’s face trembling with mild sweat including Sasuke).
Acted as a decoy to save his young subordinates. (The way he sacrificed his life saying young wills of fire must be protected is just Woow!! I wish his subordinates listened to his words and passed the mantle to the younger ones rather than playing game at such an old age and screwed up many lives. Pfft!!!)
Any time he says ‘Shut Up’ to Hashirama (ROFL)
His absolute ‘I don’t give a fuck’ attitude to Naruto, Sasuke, Hashirama, Minato and Madara (He trolled them all mercilessly and I love it)
4. Senju Tsunade
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It hurts me to say that Tsunade is the only female character in my list because every other female characters were written in a much more piss poorly way. Only Konan came close to Tsunade but her role was very short. 
Despite her character’s purpose revolved around another male character (Dan) and a blatant objectification of her breasts, I liked everything about her other than those mentioned above. 
She is the Second Best Hokage who took Konoha right after the destruction made by Orochimaru, excellently handled the aftermath by making friendly relations with Suna (Sand village), provided her best medical support to Konoha in the Pain Arc and successfully handled the fourth Shinobi world war. 
She is such a badass who developed her own original jutsu called Byakugou no Jutsu, which can heal herself. 
She is just way too amazing and it’s a pity that we got very less scenes in Shippuden.
Best Moments:
Took 25+ stabs from Madara’s Susanoo like a piece of cake (Man, I simply couldn’t describe that scene. All the other Kages were shocked and even Madara too)
Lifted her advisors like a cabbage sack (Those fucking old hags deserved it. Those shits should’ve died)
Her index finger flick assault on Naruto (Aww, Naruto was definitely bratty in his first meeting and Tsunade didn’t hold back at all)
Played Orochimaru like a basketball (In that same arc, she fought Orochimaru mercilessly like a devil left and right. Someone who claimed to have surpassed Tsunade never even dared to fight Orochimaru’s student and crying for his attention after just receiving one stab from Madara. Just saying)
3. Uzumaki Naruto
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Naruto is the titular character and your emotions evolve along with him. He surely deserves a spot in Top 3. The only reason I didn’t place Naruto even more higher is because he didn’t experience something very important which many characters in this list faced. That is, Losing a loved one before his eyes. Every villain in this series became what they are because they lost someone important before their eyes like Nagato, Obito. (Nope, I don’t count Neji as his loved one). I think this tests the mettle of any character and Naruto failed to experience this. The only person he ever lost was Jiraiya and that too from off-screen. That’s why I felt his journey to his dreams seemed little easier compared to the rest of the characters.
His best block of episodes will always be the part 1 Episode 1, 2, 3. Episode 1 is the character defining episode for Naruto and what he learned there will be applied everywhere till the very end of the series. He learned 3 things
Forgiveness, Empathy and Acceptance
Talk-No-Jutsu
Kage Bunshin no Jutsu
From then on, this boy wins many friends to his side, not only from Konoha but from other villages too and even made them to acknowledge his strength only through his sheer hard work. 
However, there is this person, whose acknowledgement he wants the most.  That person is his most important bond along with Iruka Sensei. He is none other than Sasuke. One day, Sasuke left him alone for some unavoidable reason at the end of part 1 which left a huge scar in him and he vows to bring him back to the place where he belongs. That becomes his ultimate goal rather than becoming an Hokage.
The way he goes to any extent to protect the people he cares about is just simply entertaining to watch.
Every time he makes an heroic entry to save the day was never boring, not once. 
Best Moments:
Sobbing from his heart after hearing Iruka Sensei acknowledging him (It just makes me feel heavy for no reason. The anime team did an awesome job to capture his emotions convincingly)
Awakening Kyuubi Mode for the first time after seeing Sasuke die in his arms (Man, out of all the collective hatred he got from the villagers, this moment affected him a lot speaks volumes)
Punching Neji from the underground to win the Chunin exams (God, I honestly believed Naruto lost but he just surprised us heavily from nowhere. And that failure speech was just pure bliss to watch even today)
Pain Vs Naruto (One of the best arc for Naruto. Because unlike other arcs, where Naruto fought with a team, this arc he was all alone fighting a person with Rinnegan. Be it the exuberant landing from the frogs with a dramatic kabuki music, creating multi-step attacks, coming up with novel solution in that difficult situation, finally ending the conflict without killing the enemy, becoming an hero. Superb journey. The only thing I didn’t like in that arc is some shitty selfish proposal. PUKE!!)
Bearing the burdens of his most important person and die along with him (This boy always shouts he will never die until he becomes an Hokage. But for Sasuke, he was ready to die along with him in order to not leave him alone proves how much he loves him. This shows his emotional maturity rather than shouting at Sasuke like he always did before which never reached his ears. This time it did)
Final Good Bye to Minato (Honestly, I was bawling just like Naruto in that scene no matter how many times I watch it. It started out slow but as he speaks more and more, he simply couldn’t hold back and wept a sea of tears 😭😭😭)
2. Uchiha Sasuke
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One of the well written characters in this series, with all the flaws and positive stuffs which makes him more of an Anti-Hero. He always subverts my preformed opinions and never ceased to surprise me.
Despite being aloof and cold, his warmer side will always be exposed towards Naruto. This is evident by many things he had done for Naruto which he don’t have to or no reason to. Starting right from roasting Sakura, offering lunch, asking for tips, enquiring about breakfast, protecting him many times and dying for Naruto. 
Why I placed him above Naruto is because of his unavoidable decision to tread in a complicated dark path primarily due to the trauma he carried and was stirred up again by collective factors such as Orochimaru’s cursed seal, Itachi’s arrival and Naruto’s growth. Compared to Sasuke, Naruto had an easier path because he never saw anyone die before his eyes and hence he don’t carry any trauma which can divert his path.
Even after watching his entire clan and family members murdered before his eyes at an age 8, he managed to pull himself and never snapped out like many other good characters does. But the moment when he found out that Itachi was good all along, he simply couldn’t tolerate the truth and gave himself to Vengeance. Because, he loved his brother more than he hated him all these years. This shows he loved his brother more than his parents. His resolve to destroy Konoha was perfectly understandable. But is it good? Nope. He can kill Danzo and those old hags but killing other people was never justifiable.
But still, his resolve to have his vengeance was diverted by Naruto and weakened by Itachi, at some point. So, he decided to know the truth and when he heard it, he understood the Hokages also sacrificed many precious things to protect this village just like his Brother Itachi. He understood the mistakes of his clan and decided to protect the village which he swore to destroy. [Many Sasuke fanatics think that he succumbed to the Government and Kishi wrote Sasuke to bootlick them. Their idea was to tackle genocide with another genocide. What a stupid idea!!!!]
And No, I don’t consider him trying to kill Sakura, Karin and Kakashi as his bad moments (though I feel bad for Karin). For the simple reason being, he became a monster by losing himself in the darkness who lost the rationality to differentiate friends from foes. Much similar to how Naruto lost himself to Kyuubi’s hatred against Orochimaru and in Pain Arc. It’s so hypocritical to ignore Naruto and accuse Sasuke here. Plus, Sakura had no business to be there otherwise Sasuke would not have tried to kill her. 
But does it mean Sasuke did nothing wrong???
Nope.
He definitely shouldn’t have joined Akatsuki and hunted Killer Bee like an animal. Because, he knew that Tobi was the one who helped Itachi massacre the clan. When fighting Itachi he specifically vowed to kill Madara (Tobi). On top of that, Itachi passed on Amaterasu in his eyes specifically to stay away from Tobi. Why did he ally with him? Plus, Sasuke was one of the few characters who was exposed to the name ‘Akatsuki’ in part 1 itself. He clearly knew that this organization targets Naruto, his closest bond. Why did he join there? This is where the stupid part of Sasuke came out. I was grunting... ‘Oii Where did that clever Sasuke, who faced 1000 soldiers without killing any of them, went??’. 
And his plan for Revolution???? I thought it would be reasonable. But his vision was eerily similar to Danzo’s vision. Grrr..... Danzo also wanted to create his ideal village by destroying the current Hokage. He wanted to unite the Five Village and put himself on top of everyone as evident from the Kage Summit arc. 
I appreciate him that he finally adopted the Will of Fire, by wanting to protect the village at all costs just like Itachi and Hashirama did. But his methods are not very democratic. Plus, he wanted to do it alone. I was screaming at him... ‘Grrr, Sasuke, did you listen to Itachi at all???. He failed because he did everything alone. Why can’t you understand????’ This is also another instance, Sasuke’s stupidity glanced out.
I am happy Naruto knocked some sense into him by telling him not to do it alone but together.
Many fanatics also ask, ‘What did Sasuke do wrong to atone for his sins at the end?’.
I was like ‘Reallly????’
He joined Akatsuki, an organization which terrorized all the 5 villages and he hunted someone like an international criminal.
He spoiled the Kage Summit and attacked Raikage who lost his arm because of him. I know what happened over there is not Sasuke’s fault. But these are the kages who was loved by many people in their own villages. How can the world forget it and simply let him go?
It’s exactly because of all those lovely stuffs he did in Part 1 and all these mistakes he did in Part 2 but willing to correct his mistakes by sharing the burdens of his other half in the end made him more interesting, complicated and exciting and that’s why I love this character.
I also have a personal bias to love this character sooo much because of the character on top of my list.
Best Moments:
Defending Naruto before Sakura (Awww!!! Such a good boy he was. Eventhough I thought he was a typical arrogant K-Drama hero, he just subverted my opinion in that one scene. I always have a thing for people who stands up for someone even though they don’t have to. This is where I started to like Sasuke)
My body moved on its own. (Is there anything that trumps this scene in terms of emotions and love in this series?. This moment is where I understood the depth of Sasuke’s emotions towards Naruto).
What is a Clan? What is a Village? What is a Shinobi? (I was really hoping for Sasuke to question himself something similar to this. Because he was so self-absorbed in his hatred and failed to look outside him ever since he left the village. It was so gratifying that he did that)
Killing Orochimaru (I always thought Sasuke will kill him only after he tries to take over the body. Never imagined that he will strike the snake first)
Killing Danzo (Man, what an amazing battle!!!. It was so gratifying to see such a crass bastard die many times over and over).
His dramatic confession through his monologue (After the mystery of Who is this Tobi, Sasuke’s obsession towards Naruto remained a mystery for me. Why did he listen to Naruto under the bridge? Why did he protected Naruto in the War? I got the answer only after this confession. It was so heartwarming to see this mellow side of Sasuke)
1. Uchiha Itachi
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I could write pages about him. The foremost reason I like Itachi and earns the top spot in my rankings is because he shockingly resembled me in many ways. As I already said, I come from a place where clan politics plays a major role and when I see Sasuke’s flashback in part 1, I was simply dumbstruck by such a detailed similarities.
Elder child of the family - ✅
Have an adorable younger sister who loves me more than my parents - ✅
Same age gap (5 years) with my sister as Itachi and Sasuke - ✅
Parents paying total attention on me while ignoring my sister completely - ✅
Parents constantly comparing my achievements with my sister - ✅
A sister who bear hugged me every time I entered the home after returning from my school - ✅
Despite my mom being a teacher, my sister always prefers me to teach her stuffs as she considers me to be way too better than my mom -  ✅
Love my sister more than my parents - ✅
Clan-Obsessed parents - ✅
Used me as a tool for the benefit of the clan - ✅
Sending another person from my clan to spy on me - ✅
Strained relationship with my parents - ✅
Disgusted with my clan - ✅
Most importantly, this dialogue from part 1 episode 129,
Clan? Clan?
Obsessed with the organization, Obsessed with the clan, Obsessed with the name, that’s merely the detestable action that restrict yourself.
I have given up all hope in this worthless clan
Because, people obsess themselves to their clan, a thing so petty, they lose sight of the things that are truly important.
A real change cannot occur under restraints and controls
I confronted my parents with the exact same dialogue (almost 98% similar) in my own native language some years ago. 
I didn’t even know the existence of Naruto series at that time. I was simply shell-shocked by all these similarities with this character. 
And Yes, The moment I heard these dialogues, I knew Itachi, was a good guy, who had a very strong reason for his actions and I instantly knew Sasuke’s revenge will not bear him any happiness. 
It is exactly because of all these striking similarities of myself with Itachi, and my lil’l sister with Sasuke, my family dynamics with the Uchiha family.... I could understand the magnitude of Sasuke’s love towards Itachi. 
And precisely because of that, I could understand Sasuke’s love towards Naruto is not fucking ‘brotherly’ one but something that leans towards Attraction. 
No wonder, Itachi left Sasuke in Naruto’s care. 
Anyways to speak objectively, 
Itachi is an extremely self-sacrificial person whose life is full of pain and miseries but never blames it on the world unlike other Uchiha members like Madara, Obito and Sasuke to an extent.
He did things considering the bigger picture which never benefitted himself in anyway and was willing to go to any extent even at the expense of his own family and his brother’s happiness. That is, Uchiha Clan Massacre and Joining Akatsuki. None of this benefitted him in anyways but he did it anyway, for the village of Konoha. 
His ideals are shockingly similar to Hashirama, Which Sasuke pointed this out and Hashirama acknowledged that Itachi was a better shinobi than he was. ❤️❤️❤️
Now, does this means I support Uchiha clan massacre?
No way. Even Itachi didn’t.
This massacre happened because of the huge clusterfuck from Hiruzen’s incompetence, Danzo’s paranoid arrogance, Uchiha clan’s devious plan to over throw the government by force rather than approaching it in a peaceful way, say, a peace talk or a protest. 
All these people acted on their own self-interest. Itachi and Shisui caught in their whirlpool, bear their burdens and paid for it with their life. Sasuke suffered for it.
But, it’s not the only reason I love this character. It’s because, the moment he decided to massacre everyone, he marked his own death by the hands of his beloved brother. I love people who owns up their mistakes and face the consequences rather than making excuses (even though it’s not entirely his mistake).
Itachi is also the only character in this series who realized his failures on his own without anyone’s interference or Naruto’s Talk-No-Jutsu. 
And he apologized for everything he did to Sasuke.
Again, some hardcore Sasuke fanatics criticize/hate him for torturing their poor ‘Sasuke-Kun’ with his Tsukuyomi. I was like ‘Hmmm...What?’. 
First off, Itachi apologized to Sasuke for not thinking out from his point of view and also for not telling him the truth earlier.
Second off, Sasuke never even blamed Itachi for anything (even he didn’t hold him for killing their parents). If Sasuke himself, forgiven Itachi... Why are his fans being so rabid?
Third off, for all of his supposed ‘crimes’, he paid for it by dying as a disgraceful Madman rather than a Hero who really saved the village. He is someone who should be celebrated like Naruto but instead died proudly as a Traitor of Konoha.
All in all, One of the wonderfully written character I have ever seen in the media. 
Best Moments:
Itachi vs Sasuke (That battle was a pure brilliance and highly emotional especially after knowing the truth. When Sasuke released his Kirin, Itachi showed off his ultimate armour Susanoo like a badass. Seeing Susanoo for the first time gave me chills. No, Sasuke didn’t kill him. Itachi died on his own)
Itachi vs Orochimaru (Man, Itachi may look mellow but when it comes to Orochimaru he is a pure Sass. He screwed that snake up both the times by a wide margin. It seems Uchiha brothers like to fuck up Orochimaru, LOL)
Talk-No-Jutsu’ing Naruto (Geez, Naruto was being completely bratty and was full of saviour complex like he was going to bear everyone’s hatred by himself. I was almost annoyed. Thanks to Itachi, he realised. Probably he is the only character to shut Naruto using his own jutsu)
Izanami’ing Kabuto (Other than Naruto, he is the only character to go out of his way to empathize with a villain and put extreme effort to change him. I think this is why Sasuke loves Naruto, for seeing these similarities??? ).
Goodbye to Sasuke (The first time when he said ‘Forgive me, Sasuke. This is the last’ by poking his forehead and finally closing the distance by butting with Sasuke’s head softly saying ‘I will love you always’.... It always evokes uncontrollable tears in me, no matter how many times I watch it 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭)
HONOURABLE MENTION
Uchiha Obito
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God, Am such a sucker for Uchiha guys individually, though collectively as a clan they fucked up big time. I simply couldn’t find the place for him in the top 10. He is a classic example of What Naruto will be like if he becomes a villain?
However, all those horrible stuffs he did just for a girl whom he had a crush on which was never reciprocated seems childish. That’s why I couldn’t put him in Top 10.
And his understandable but weird obsession on Naruto was always enjoyable to watch. 
One cute thing I liked about him was, whatever criminal stuffs he may have done, he was never a cheapskate though. He had every chance to take back Kakashi’s Sharingan to activate his own Susanoo. But he never even thought of such an idea. He was a bad guy. But a good friend, no matter what. 
Pure Baby!!! But lost his way!!!
Best Moments:
Importance of Team Work (’In the ninja world, Those who break the rules are  scum. But those who abandon their comrades are worse than scum’. This very legacy he left to Kakashi came to defeat him later. And Naruto follows this motto even today)
Sacrificing his Sharingan (’I am giving you my Sharingan. No matter what the villagers say, you are a great Jonin. Please take it’. Awww!!! Obito. He left his Sharingan which helped Kakashi to complete a jutsu called ‘Chidori’, which is a go-to jutsu of Sasuke)
Thanks for the ask, anon. I thoroughly enjoyed writing this. ❤️
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milstrim · 3 years
Text
Comfort in My Shadow
Chapter 1: Hand in My Pocket
By @iwritedumbshit for @iron-mum
Rating: Teen and Up Audiences
Relationships: Peter Parker & Tony Stark, Minor Pepper Potts/Tony Stark
Characters: Peter Parker, Tony Stark, Pepper Potts, Ned Leeds, James “Rhodey” Rhodes
Summary: Soulmates are definite in the universe. Nobody knows exactly why they exist, or what dictates who is bonded to who, the only thing known is that they are never wrong. But Peter's not so sure about that.
Living at the group home had taught Peter a lot about laying low and how to stay alive when nobody cares. But he'd always clung to the hope of the shadow at his feet reflecting his soulmate that had watched over him for years.
Typical that his soulmate is actually a superhero that Peter is convinced shouldn't want anything to do with him. Maybe, just this once, the Universe was wrong.
But Tony Stark is desperate to prove that it is right.
Ch 2 // Ch 3 // Ch 4 // Ch 5 // Ch 6 // Ch 7 // Ch 8
—-
The red glare of the setting sun set the City That Never Sleeps in a persistent glow as the last of the golden rays disappeared behind the pillars of the city, outlining every shadow. There was the silhouette of buildings, of cars racing along the road, of people stalking down the street in the usual New York bustle, and there was the shadow of Spider-Man as he swung overhead. Not that it was really his shadow.
Where there should have been a perfect replica of the boy clinging to a web as he dipped low (one that outlined his lumpy goggles and rumpled suit) there was instead the poofiness of fluffed up hair and sharp slacks. The movements of the shadow replicated the boy, like they were supposed to, but nothing else indicated that this shadow belonged to the vigilante swinging through the street.
And Peter liked it that way.
Observing the difference between people's shadow had always been a game to the boy, to watch a thin woman walk around while a curvy figure followed her, or too see a little boy being tracked by the silhouette of a tutu and puffy hair. Until very recently, the teenager had loved to stare at his Aunt and Uncle's shadows whenever he could, always fascinated by the way they reflected each other with a broad smile on his face.
Now, though, neither of them had shadows, and Peter didn't smile as often. He didn't feel like there was much reason to. It had been his fault, after all. His fault they'd never get to see flashes of each other when their shadows disappeared in the dark, his fault they'd never walk under the sun with their shadows in line with the other. It was his fault they'd bled out in an alley so dark their shadows hadn't even been there to comfort them as they left.
Spider-Man rattled an anxious, forced breath through his tight lungs as he propelled himself upwards on his webs. He instinctively looked for the taped together watch he kept on his webshooter to catch the time, though he knew he had plenty. Still, after his last time missing curfew at Queens Pinehill Group Home for Boys, he wasn't anxious to repeat the experience. And he did have to swing across the bridge to make his way back to Queens since he'd branched out to Manhattan for the night.
The cracked watch read that it was barely seven, though, so Peter still had a few hours before he had to be back. Mr. Fowler didn't care much what they did as long as they were back before ten, unless it was one of his "days," which really just meant he was as drunk as a skunk and completely willing to smack a few boys upside their head and be unreasonably dickish about the rules. But other than that, Peter was usually left to his own devices to patrol around the streets of his city and try everything in his power to make up for what had happened barely six months ago.
But it would never be enough.
Peter stopped on top of a billboard that clung to the side of a building, landing clumsily and only barely managing to slip his fingers around the poster for a new movie. His world swam--just a little bit--as he regained his bearings. He shook his head at the dizziness that had become a constant ever since moving to live at the Queens Pinehill Group Home for Boys, but it wasn't like it was their fault. All the boys were reasonably well-cared for, with regular mealtimes, a generous curfew, and easy access to schools, but they weren't really equipped to deal with Peter.
The teenager held back a sigh as his stomach grumbled painfully. He'd eaten the last of his stash of granola bars that he'd bought after a tourist he'd helped had forced a few bills on him. He didn't like taking money, but he couldn't deny that those bars had helped for the two weeks that he'd made them stretch.
Forcing down a hungry grumble of annoyance, Peter turned to survey his shadow instead, the one that had always been the same. Ever since he could remember. Even when he'd been in kindergarten, there'd been the tall and protective shadow of his soulmate behind him. Despite everything, and despite how selfish it felt, it was comforting to look down and see that familiar crop of hair. He reached a hand up to touch his head, never quite used to the way his fingers brushed up against cloth but the shadow underneath him swept through fluffed up tufts.
His soulmate's hair today was messy, not as poofed up as it usually was. Today must be a casual day for him or something, which weren't very often, but when they did occur they often lasted for days. Other days he could make out the outline of glasses and the sharp angles of clothing that made him think of a business suit, though he couldn't be sure. They were only a shadow after all. Peter wondered what his soulmate thought about his own shadow, if he'd noticed anything odd, but, then again, Peter's shadow probably just looked like he was wearing a hoodie all the time, and maybe what could pass as some pretty obnoxious glasses. He'd used to have those anyway.
Peter tilted his head, enjoying the way the hair on the sidewalk underneath him flopped with him. For some reason, Peter found it very amusing when one had hair showing and the other didn't. It just looked a little ridiculous. Recently, it had been the teenager who had been donning the hoodie over his head, but Peter assumed that his soulmate was usually wearing something too. More often than not, he'd look down to see the hair gone, covered by a sharp outline that really had him questioning his soulmate's fashion sense.
The thought brought a snicker to his lips. He nestled more comfortably atop the billboard. There hadn't been any good action in a while anyway.
"Where do you think we should go next?" he asked aloud, and he didn't know if he was asking himself or the shadow of his soulmate underneath. He didn't know why, but he'd always felt like they'd give really good advice. "There hasn't really been much going on, and I haven't seen any of those alien-weapon guys since the knock-off Avengers robbed that bank. Maybe we could try and find out whoever you are again. That'd be kind of fun."
'Kind of fun.' Yeah, right. It was the only thing Peter looked forward to anymore.
Before, he'd always been excited to graduate, to go through college and apply to Stark Industries, his Aunt and Uncle's smiles egging him on the entire way. He'd looked forward to band and robotics and, while he'd stayed, decathlon too. It wasn't as fun as it had been before, but Ned was still there. Liz too. They were nice, and it was good to see their smiles and hear their occasional pitying encouragement that usually only pissed him off (not that he'd ever let them know, they were just trying to help after all), but they weren't what Peter was looking for.
Then again, Peter wasn't 100% he knew what he was looking for either.
He was pretty sure his soulmate was something to look forward to. Ben and May had always described what it felt like to find your soulmate, to be able to stare at shadows your entire life until you found who you were looking for. You would touch their hand and your shadows would switch, and when you let go, the shadow remained to your universe approved bond again. The satisfaction of finally piecing together the flashes you got whenever both shadows disappeared into the darkness. It was something Aunt May and Uncle Ben had always enticed him about, always encouraged.
Maybe if he could find his soulmate, everything would be better. Everything would be perfect, like May and Ben had always proclaimed.
But that was childish, and Peter knew it. Soulmates didn't fix everything, and meeting his soulmate certainly wouldn't improve his situation. They were a regular person with a regular life. He was a second-rate vigilante that had been orphaned twice. Besides, nothing could really help Peter. Not that he needed help. He just needed to grow out of the system so he could make something that actually felt like life rather than the scraping by that it had become.
By the time Peter moved from his spot, it was because his shadow had dimmed with the entrance of New York darkness. He stood up, barely able to make out the faintness of his soulmate, and flicked his wrist out. He still had a little bit before he had to be back at the group home, so he reckoned he'd be fine. He'd be back in time that Mr. Fowler wouldn't give him another strike and he could still eat dinner. He'd do his homework, go to bed, and the next day would be the same horrible numbness of before.
"Any ideas on where the best crime is, Matey?" he asked his shadow, "Maybe superpowers can leech over to soulmates. That'd be really cool actually. Soulologists haven't been able to prove anything other than memory flashes. We could break that entire field of study if that were true."
His soulmate, of course, didn't answer. But the scuffle of a fight and a warped sound unlike anything the teenager had ever heard, did.
 ---
 Tony glanced around his emptying lab, a tired glint in his eyes as he did. Large portions of the tower had been emptied and organized into large crates as they anticipated the move from the tower to the compound. Most of his lab had stayed the same throughout the process, as staff weren't allowed up here, leaving it mostly up to the billionaire himself to pack up his things. Glancing around at the piles of disheveled work and unfinished projects, he might have to get some help anyway. Or, if he started packing now, he'd have plenty of time to do it by himself.
He turned back to the suit he was working on.
The horribly challenging nanoparticles as part of his newest suit were barely coming together. It was incredibly difficult, which made it the most fun thing he'd worked on in a while, which also meant he'd been working on it for two days straight. It was a good thing Pepper was working in another country at the moment and wasn't there to make him go to bed or take a break or anything worthless like that. Then again, he guessed Pepper wasn't the only one with the power to do that.
"Sir," Friday started, "You are approaching your extent of working without a break. I suggest you go to sleep."
"I'm almost done, girl," he replied at the same moment the gauntlet he was working on sparked. He hissed in pain as he withdrew his newly burnt fingers, his vision swimming slightly. He blinked furiously to clear the dark spots from his sight. "Okay, maybe a break isn't such a bad idea."
"Great choice, sir."
"Don't patronize me," he scolded, grabbing a nearby jacket to throw over his stained shirt and a pair of sunglasses despite the late hour, "I'm taking a break, not going to sleep. Keep the lab running for me, I'm gonna go grab a coffee."
"Might I suggest a calming tea instead?"
"You most certainly may not."
Tony stepped into the brightly lit elevator, staring down at his shadow as he usually did when he was alone. The sight of the usual hoodie brought a smile to his face. His soulmate must have a hoodie addiction as strong as his coffee one, though he usually preferred whenever he could see the kid's curly hair before it was eventually tamed down by what he guessed was a godly amount of hair gel.
His soulmate had turned fifteen recently, he knew. August tenth was the first day he'd had a shadow, one of a tiny baby curled up at his feet. He remembered fondly what it had felt like to look down one random morning and see the dark blob at his feet, the confusion and the joy as he'd realized it moved with him. After thirty-one years, a soulmate of his very own.
He'd loved to watch them grow through their shadows, though his favorite was the little snippets he'd get of their life. Like for everyone else, they were very rare, especially in the bright cities he was accustomed to living in. There was always just a little bit of light somewhere in New York, but he remembered vividly the little snatches he'd managed to get from his soulmate's life when both of their shadows faded into a shade of the dark completely.
A deeply nerdy room with Star Wars posters. The bustling streets of a city. And, more recently, dark alleyways that had made him more than a little nervous. His soulmate was only a kid after all, but it was a bit hypocritical for him to be any kind of judgmental after his own teenage years, and it wasn't like he could do anything.
Other than what he was doing now.
The flashes of the streets he'd seen in his soulmate visions had reminded him deeply of New York (though they could just as easily have been from another city in the States), so Tony had made the effort to go out more whenever he could. Usually he couldn't stay for long, he was pretty busy after all. Still, local coffee shops and street vendors had become frequented by Tony Stark as he'd searched. He knew it was a little ridiculous to parade around the streets of New York City in the hopes that he would stumble upon his soulmate, but after everything that had happened with the team, he could at least try to throw in a little optimism.
The mechanic blinked out thoughts of the broken team as the elevator opened on the empty bottom floor, making his way through the darkly lit lobby and out the door into the streets. Street lamps were lit brightly, and, coupled by the headlight of cars and the alternating colors of traffic light, his soulmate was able to walk alongside Tony as he crossed the road and began down the sidewalk.
"Any recommendations for a good coffee shop, my little shadow?" Tony asked his soulmate. The people on the street paid him no mind, not that it was unusual for people to talk to their shadows. "If you do live around here, you must have at least a few recommendations. Well, I guess you are a kid, but I drank plenty of caffeine when I was your age, so."
He shrugged to himself, stopping at a street corner and pursing his lips as he thought. He'd really only explored Manhattan when looking for his soulmate, but walking across the bridge into Brooklyn and Queens would take much too long. He did want to get back to his project after all.
Tony made a turn, resolving to just find whatever new café he could. Maybe he'd explore Brooklyn or Harlem after the move. Or maybe Queens, he had been wanting to try and meet that Spider-Kid for a while anyway. He'd thought he'd had an opportunity when Rogers and his merry band had taken Barnes and left in Germany, but everything had gone by just too quick and he didn't even know the guy's identity. Not for lack of trying. The guy was pretty good at avoiding cameras, it almost made Tony jealous.
The billionaire walked for about fifteen minutes, passing by every coffee shop he'd already been to in search of a new one. There were plenty in Manhattan, but Tony had been to so many at this point it was a little ridiculous. He stopped, ready to pull out his phone and see where the nearest one he could find was, when he caught sight of a man out of the corner of his eye.
He frowned. How long had that man been following him? A few blocks at least, he recognized that green jacket from when he'd passed by Beany Business.
The light turned from an orange hand to a white silhouette, and Tony hurried across the street. He hadn't brought any kind of weapons with him, and he really wasn't in the mood to cause some kind of scene. If he was quick, he could probably lose this guy and still get to his coffee shop without some kind of annoying disturbance.
Tony allowed himself to be swept up in the crowd of late-goers, moving with them quickly. He let that crowd trickle by and joined another, and then joined one more of a drunk afterparty before finally slipping down an alleyway when he could no longer see the green jacket. He blinked in surprise as he caught sight of a coffee shop just across the street, bright red letters reading 'The Coffee Club.'
He smiled. Perfect.
Stuffing his hands in his pockets, he strolled down the alleyway towards the cheap looking café. And then a figure stepped in the entrance, blocking the view from across the street and slapping Tony's easygoing smile off of his face.
The billionaire immediately tensed as his eyes roamed over the green jacket, the covered face, and finally the gun pointed towards him. His eyebrow raised as his gaze rested on the weapon that wasn't really a gun. It was splayed out like a robotic arm, shiny and just a little bit clunky but clearly dangerous.
"Hands in the air, Stark," the man ordered. Slowly, he followed the man's orders. "Phone and glasses on the floor. Now."
"I'm gonna have to move my hands for that," Tony snarked. The man gave him a slight snarl.
"Just do it. Slowly. And throw them over here."
"Sure," he agreed, fishing his phone out of his pocket and taking his glasses off of his face before letting them clatter to the ground. The man kept the robotic gun trained on him as he grabbed the devices, placing them in a pocket in the thick of his jacket. Tony frowned. "So, what is this? A kidnapping? Taking my wallet? Genuinely interested."
"I've been watching you for a while, Stark," the man said, "You go out at night a lot. I knew it'd only be a matter of time before I could get what I want from you."
"And I would love to know what that is. As well as where you got that neat little arm-gun there. Is that Sokovian?"
"Shut up, Stark. I don't need your snark, just some information, and I'll take your wallet too."
"Mind leaving me enough cash for a coffee?"
The gun cocked. "What did I just say?"
"Hmm, I forgot."
"Very funny."
"Thanks, I thought so too," Tony joked. "Anyway, back on topic of what this is all about."
The gun whined and then quickly shot, whizzing past Tony to burn the wall just behind him. Tony turned his head to glance at the large ring of smoke before facing the man in the green jacket again.
"Shut up," he ordered again. "No more words from you unless they're the password into the DODC."
"There's more than just one password. You got a pen? This could take a while."
"No, you're coming with me."
"Oh, so this is a kidnapping."
"I can't have you changing the passwords and alerting anyone of this," the man answered like it was the most obvious thing in the world, but Tony could already count five thousand ways this could go wrong for Green Jacket Guy. One being that Tony wasn't up for being kidnapped at this moment in particular, and he definitely wasn't going to let this schmuck take him while he was just trying to get a decent coffee. "Keep your hands in the air and don't move, or else I'm hitting you with this."
When he gestured to the gun, Tony just gave him a bored look. "You know you're not getting any passwords or anything if you kill me, right?"
The man flicked a switch on the gun. "It's set to stun. It won't kill you, but it will definitely knock you out for a few hours."
"Good to know."
Green Jacket Guy approached, a pair of cuffs poised to slip around his outstretched hands. The man's steps were jauntily hesitant, but clear apprehension didn't stop the man from grabbing his hand and forcing the first cuff around him. He moved to click it around the billionaire's other wrist, but was met with a snapping punch to the face.
Green Jacket Guy stumbled back, a hand pressed against his newly bloody nose in a grunt of clear pain. Tony dove when the man quickly gathered himself and raised his gun, forcing himself behind a trash can as it whined and then fired. The trashcan forced itself against Tony, slapping the mechanic against the wall with a shouted groan, his shoulder barely breaking his fall. That was going to bruise in the morning.
Forced to his knees, Tony scrambled back up only to be faced with the robot-arm-gun pointed directly in his face. It charged up in its now annoyingly familiar warped whine, and there was nowhere to go. He was trapped and he was not excited to be blasted by this thing and if he got kidnapped again Happy was going to have a heart attack, he might as well--
"Hey! Watch where you're pointing that thing!" called a squeaky voice. Tony and Green Jacket Guy both turned as a red blur shot into the alleyway, a thwip! knocking the gun from the man's hand and the red blur knocking into him. The man was barreled to the ground with a pained groan before he was covered in a flurry of webs, the Spider Guy standing over him. "Pointing guns at people is illegal y'know! Sorry to be a party pooper, but I will be calling the police."
Tony blinked, forcing himself to his feet fully as the vigilante turned around, the lenses of his goofy goggles widening in comical shock.
"Oh, whoa."
 ---
 "Oh, whoa," Peter breathed as he caught sight of literally Tony-freaking-Stark dusting off his pants as he stood up. His eyes instinctively fluttered to the man's shadow, expecting the long hair and slim figure of Pepper Potts but catching sight of a short and rumpled man instead. Huh.
"Whoa yourself, kid," Mr. Stark responded, stepping over to where the man was knocked out cold and webbed to the ground. He dug through the man's exposed green jacket and pulled out a pair of glasses and a sleek phone, but Peter's eyes were locked onto the strange gun on the ground. His eyes narrowed at how similar it looked to the ones at the bank. "What're you doing out here? You're a Queens guy aren't you?"
"Oh, uh, yes-yes, sir. Usually, but I was just, uhh, I was just around and I heard the fight and, and yeah..."
Mr. Stark turned to look at him, an eyebrow raised in suspicion as he glanced over Peter's ratty superhero suit. He shuffled on his feet nervously, trying desperately to keep himself still and untense his shoulders, not that it had much affect. The teenager choked down agitation, trying his best to not glance at his watch. It was getting late and, while Iron Man was his second favorite Avenger, the last thing he needed was Tony Stark finding out his secret identity.
"What's your name?" Mr. Stark asked.
"Spider-Man."
"And your real name?"
Peter paused. "Spider-Man. On my birth certificate and everything."
Mr. Stark frowned, and Peter thought he was going to demand a legitimate answer, when he shrugged and stepped away from the guy on the ground. "Fine. You helped me out, I won't bother you about it. For now."
Peter let out a low sigh, muttering, "Thank you, Mr. Stark."
"I am going to bother you about other things though," Mr. Stark said, "I've been meaning to talk to you, and no time like the present."
"Oh, uhh, I kinda have to--"
Peter was interrupted by the painful rumble of his stomach. His face turned as red as his mask, and he was thankful the man couldn't see his embarrassment, not that that stopped the superhero's teasing smirk. With a wave, the man stepped out of the alleyway. "C'mon, let's go."
"Go--go where?"
"Coffee. I came to get a good black coffee and I refuse to leave without one."
Peter glanced down at the guy he'd webbed. "What about him?"
"My AI already called the police. They'll be here soon. Now, c'mon. I'm not gonna ask you twice."
"Yeah, yeah. Ah, okay, Mr. Stark."
 ---
 Peter shuffled his feet nervously, his arms crossed and constantly turning so that he could peer at the time on his watch. Twenty minutes. Not looking great, but it wasn't like Peter could really leave while Mr. Stark ordered his coffee. That would be rude, and plus it was Iron Man, so, overall a bad idea.
He glanced over from where he was leaning against the brick wall of the coffee shop to stare at the clear door. Like a final answer to his prayers, the billionaire stepped out, a drink carrier in one hand and a small brown bag in the other. The man didn't look exactly like he'd thought he would. Tony Stark had always been almost hilariously imposing in his mind, with a sharp suit and a sharper goatee, but this man was softer. Rougher.
His clothes were stained, his leather jacket rumpled, his hair messy and his face worn with the lines of memories. He seemed almost familiar somehow, and it unnerved Peter just as much as it comforted him.
"Here ya go, kid. Black coffee for me, hot chocolate and a snickerdoodle for you," Mr. Stark said once he'd walked over. Peter blinked in surprise, but managed to accept the drink and the bag with stumbling fingers.
"Oh, wow. Thank you, Mr. Stark, but you really didn't have to."
"Billionaire here, Spider-Kid. I can afford a cookie and a drink."
Peter thanked him again and, after a moment of hesitation, pulled his mask up to just above his nose, starting on the cookie. It was almost impossible to not fork it down immediately with how starved he felt. Mr. Stark waited patiently until he was finished with his snickerdoodle to start speaking, and Peter's ears burned.
"So," Mr. Stark started, "New York's benevolent vigilante that directs tourists and saves kittens from trees. Doesn't seem like a very exciting gig."
Peter narrowed his eyes, shuffling on his feet again nervously. What was his game?
He shrugged, taking a sip of his hot chocolate before answering, "It doesn't have to be exciting. I'm just trying to help out."
"Why?"
"Why--why help?"
"Exactly," Mr. Stark pointed, and suddenly he wasn't strangely familiar, he filled up the whole street. "Very few people help just to help, and even fewer dress themselves up in something that embarrassing just to help a few old ladies across the street. Why are you doing this? I gotta know. What's your MO? What gets you out of your apartment and into that onesie in the morning?"
"It's not a onesie," he muttered. Peter forced his fingers not to grip around the cup as images of a bloody street and dying shadows filled his head, instead redirecting the agitation into the scrunch of his face. He imagined he had his usual and embarrassing puppy scowl right now. He tried to release it with a sigh, but he didn't feel much better as he answered. "Because...because I've been me my whole life, and I've had these powers six months..."
Mr. Stark hummed in confirmation, goading Peter on. He swallowed down sick at the image of his aunt's brown hair drenched in blood before he continued. "I...I tried to move on at first. Just, hey! I have powers and I'm just gonna ignore it and showboat it. But...when you can do the things that I can, but you don't...and then the bad things happen..." He took a deep breath as Mr. Stark leaned in closer. "They happen because of you."
"So you wanna look out for the little guy? You wanna do your part? Make the world a better place, all that, right?"
Peter nodded fervently. "Yeah, yeah just looking out for the little guy. That's--that's what it is."
Mr. Stark nodded, his eyes glanced Peter up and down quickly before he asked softly, "And what about looking out for you?"
Peter startled, glaring at the man defensively. Did he just look like shit that much?
"What are you talking about? I'm doing fine."
"You reek of someone who hasn't been taking care of themselves, kid."
"I'm not a kid," he muttered, "And I'm fine."
"Yeah? Your arm's shaking."
Peter glanced down to see that, yes, his arm clutched around the hot chocolate was indeed shaking. Peter switched the drink to his other hand before shoving his arm in the pocket of his hoodie. "Just tired."
"It's barely ten."
"And I've been patrolling for--did you say ten?"
Mr. Stark seemed perturbed by his sudden shift, but Peter couldn't be bothered at the way his voice had lowered and shaken with slight fear or the way his entire self had tensed. Peter tore his hand out of his pocket to glare at the watch on his wrist. 9:57. Shit.
"Shit--fuck!" Peter exclaimed, pulling his mask back down. "Oh, shit. Sorry, Mr. Stark, I gotta go. Thank you so much for the hot chocolate, sir!"
"Kid, wait--"
He flicked out a wrist onto a nearby building, bending to leap when Mr. Stark's hand wrapped around his wrist.
Peter blinked at the odd sensation, holding back a flinch at the unexpected touch and tensing as his vision seemed to leap just a foot to the left before fizzing back to what it had been before. It left him dizzy and disoriented, but he only had a minute to get all the way from Manhattan to Queens. Maybe if he made it home within ten minutes he could get away with it or--
"Oh, my God..."
Peter turned at Mr. Stark's voice, realizing the man's hand was still gripping his wrist. He followed the billionaire's horribly stricken gaze to stare at whatever had left him dumb. Peter's jaw dropped as he caught sight of his shadow. It was his shadow.
The fluffy hair of his soulmate was suddenly gone and, instead, Peter's masked silhouette stood in its place. He glanced down at Mr. Stark's shadow, actions slow and jerky as he caught sight of it perfectly reflecting his own perked up jacket collar and outline of glasses. Carefully, Mr. Stark let go of his hand in a motion that felt like he was testing the waters. The shadows switched. The hooded figure shadowed Mr. Stark while the fluffy hair stood where Peter's shadow once had.
"What the..." Peter trailed off. His breaths felt lighter all the sudden. Fast. Too fast. The street was closing in, the cars passing nearby too loud and too bright and oh God his soulmate was Tony Stark. He swallowed painfully, tears biting at his eyes as he struggled for a breath.
His soulmate wasn't supposed to be Tony Stark. Peter couldn't--Peter couldn't live up to that! Mr. Stark had saved the world and he was an Avenger and he was the smartest man in the world and Peter was just some useless kid who got bullied and had a curfew and Jesus Christ he was going to be so late Mr. Fowler was going to be so mad and--
"Kid?" Mr. Stark asked, placing a hand on his shoulder. Peter flinched and ducked away, the cup he'd been holding clattering from his hands as he stood opposite the man. Defensive. A shadow flashed against the man's face.
Peter read it as disappointment.
"I'm sorry," he choked out. He shot a web and leaped away, but he could never escape his shadow.
Ch 2 // Ch 3 // Ch 4 // Ch 5 // Ch 6 // Ch 7 // Ch 8
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eleanore-delphinium · 3 years
Text
Reciprocate II (2021 version)
DISCLAIMER: Repost with additional details and edits from same title piece found in DAMIRAE ENTRIES.
But this particular one didn’t really change much as compared to the 2021 version of part 1.
Finale: Reciprocate III: The After
Reciprocate II: Damian
 In a sterile white room devoid of any color and of any indication of ownership or personalization, laid a single figure on top of a white medical bed, white sheets tucked over her sternum. The room felt bright because of the color, it was also rather lonely and rather very empty—except for the pale woman with long purple hair that laid on the bed. An empty chair on her right side and bedside tables with nothing on top, on either side of her bed. Her hands laid on her sides and her eyes closed. There was no indication of movement except for her quiet breathing.
The door opened to reveal Damian Wayne in a white button up shirt, sleeves rolled up to his elbows, black slacks and black dress shoes. Despite his neat outfit, his hair was a mess and his eyes were bloodshot with eyebags underneath. He looked as though he had not slept well at all—which was likely the case.
Afterall, he had not slept well since the day Raven got stabbed. There were good days and bad, now—today was a better day. He walked to the empty chair beside Raven’s right hand, his back facing the door. He sat on the chair and gazed longingly at the figure on the bed.
And he recalled what had transpired that night—the night that caused Raven’s current medical condition.
Raven had fallen and her eyes slowly fluttered close. He could tell that she was trying not to lose consciousness. Raven lifted a hand towards Damian and Garfield’s general direction making Damian wonder if she was trying to reach out to him or Garfield.
‘It had to be Garfield.’, He thought because it would not make sense if Raven was trying to reach out to him. Damian couldn’t help but feel very bitter inside. She would never choose him. She would unlikely want to hold him with her dying breath. 
At this moment the creature was distracted by Tim who was on the other side, seeing this—Damian took the opportunity to run to Raven. He took note of the footsteps that followed behind him, Garfield was right behind him as they ran toward Raven.
Her raised hand was faltering and Damian felt as though his heart was about to jump out of his throat-- out of fear.
No. You cannot close your eyes. I will not allow it! 
Damian ran faster towards Raven and as her hand fell to the ground, he finally reached her side. But her eyes had also closed, and Damian held his breath as he-- so very gently, held her in his arms.
“Raven! Raven!” He called to her frantically. “No. No. No. Don’t close your eyes, please come back, stay conscious!” His breathing was ragged, his heart beating loudly in his ears. Damian bit his lip and held his breath in a conscious manner, as he tried to calm himself, and think. He had to think.
“Raven! Oh god no.” Garfield stood hovering above Raven, and the next second he was reaching out to Raven. But Damian pulled her closer to him and gave Garfield the darkest and cruelest glare Garfield had ever seen. And Garfield froze, he took a deep breath and gulped down his fear.
“Gar…” Terra came running towards Garfield, and her eyes laid on Raven. “No, if-if she didn’t try to protect me—” Damian gave Terra the same glare Garfield received, making her unable to finish her thought. She froze in fear too.
“We have to stop her bleeding.” Damian absent-mindedly said, his voice cold, and as he scanned Raven’s wound, his eye twitched. Raven had a gaping hole on her chest, Damian did not want to think about it—but the situation was truly grim.
“How are you going to—” Garfield received another glare from Damian.
Damian was not asking or seeking their help to stop Raven’s bleeding, he had said what he had said to inform them only. He will deal with Raven’s injury, no one else is suitable.
Damian reached for something in his utility belt, and he pulled out three silver balls. His facial expression seemingly frozen in a cold and uncaring manner as he placed the one-inch sized ball strategically on her gaping wound. He placed one on top and two at the bottom, forming a triangle. It beeped and glowed a faint blue and from it came out a purple like foam.
Damian’s right eye twitched, his lips pressed together so much that his lips became pale and his brows drawn so closely together, that he looked like he would punch the next person who would touch him.
He had no choice. This was the only way to ‘plug’ Raven’s gaping hole. She was losing too much blood because of it.
Damian clenched his teeth even more, if that was even possible. He leaned Raven on his right arm as his hands clenched tightly. If he had not had gloves on, then anyone would be able to see how white his fist had become. His brows still tightly knit together, it looked painful to watch his brows like that.
And to Garfield and Terra, he looked like the scariest man on earth. They seemed to fear Damian more than the unbeatable monster that had stabbed Raven into this state.
Damian hated what he had to do. He hated that he had to plug Raven like this. He hated that he knew he had to put her down now. Now.
There was a moment of hesitance, but Damian bit his lip till it bled to keep his focus.
“We need to put Raven in a safe spot,” He said in a clipped manner as he picked Raven up in his arms in a princess carry, “Distract that thing and keep him far away from her.” He continued absent-mindedly as his eyes quickly analyzed the best spot to hide her away.
And at the same time, he recalled her injury. There were no organs that were damaged, that at least is a good thing. And he hoped and prayed-- at that same moment-- that Raven can survive this.
With Damian standing on his full length, Garfield snapped out from his frozen state and had begun to reach out for Raven once again.
“Don’t you dare touch her!” Damian snarled in such an unsightly manner that Garfield remembered the initial fear Damian gave him. Terra did not feel the fear again because she was looking at Garfield with worry and realization. Terra missed to see Damian’s expression and his words did not register in her mind because she knew at that moment while looking at Garfield—that Raven and Garfield will always have history.
Of course, she knew of Raven and Garfield’s relationship and didn’t mind it. Raven was simply his past. Garfield told her that he loves her, and that he would never go back to Raven—if that was something Terra worried about. And he must have kept his word. But the years Raven and him shared was something that could never be erased. And emotions built up throughout those years was something that couldn’t be replaced so easily. To realize such a thing now of all places—
Damian had accidentally hit Terra as he started moving, cutting Terra’s thoughts. For a second her eyes laid on the boy wonder—and to her, she did not see a hero protecting or saving someone. She saw a man holding someone in a way that showed he was too afraid to hold any tighter in fear of losing her. A man refusing to blink, too afraid that it would be his last sight of her and that she would turn into dust any moment now. He held her in such a cautious manner—that it hurt to see him so forlorn like that.
That was something she thought she would never see in Damian Wayne. His body—every cell seemed to radiate a want to not let go of the woman in his arms. A conflict of holding her so tightly so he can remember how it feels to hold her and yet—still, he was a man of responsibility. Despite his desire to just be with her—he knew where he stands—the monster was still there.
Terra quickly turned, refusing to see Garfield’s expression—it was something she did not want to see right now.
“I will cover for you, Damian.” She told him firmly not waiting for a response and simply initiated her suggestion.
Damian sighed loudly in the white room, his forehead resting on his hands that was propped up on the bed beside Raven’s right hand. When they finally got to neutralize the enemy, the first thing Damian did was run to where Raven was. He was so afraid that when he got there, she would be cold and blue.
But she held on.
She held on.
He sighed again, as he turned his head that was resting on his right hand towards Raven.
He begged his father to help him keep her alive, and the first few months—God those were awful. When they arrived to have her healed, nothing was working. Whatever that creature was and what he did, messed with her. He begged his father to do anything—anything. Somehow, they found a way to stabilize her and close the gaping hole in her chest—of course every step was a struggle.
Seeing her with so many tubes and monitors, some advanced tech and some actual alien tech, hurt Damian in a way that a bullet shot could not compare. And he felt so helpless. It was probably the helplessness that hit him even worse than a bullet wound. 
Damian Wayne—son of Batman, son of Bruce Wayne, a robin—a boy wonder—an assassin at some point, still a man seen as the heir of the Demon’s Head—felt so powerless despite all the titles and honor and glory those titles held. He still felt powerless.
He held the woman he had loved for years in his arms, and had to leave her in her injured state to defend the world of the very same creature that injured her in the first place. He left her all alone in a corner—not even knowing if she would be alive when he returned. He knew that having someone guard her would be a waste of manpower. He had to think of the bigger picture—because it is his responsibility, he couldn’t put her over that. And a small part of him hates himself for it.
He had seen her struggle to survive day after day, and night after night since then. The rejection her body faced—and his selfishness, thinking—hoping that she would survive it.
And she did.
She survived everything. And most of the tubes and monitors were finally taken away. Of course, she still had an IV drip and a monitor checking her vitals, just in case. Still, it was fifteen less tubes and monitors—and doctors and scientists.
Damian reached out for Raven’s right hand with his left, his palm resting on the back of her hand. He had gotten so used to all the tubes and monitors, that the first week without them was so unfamiliar to him.
Every time he visited her, he expected the tubes and monitors to multiply and revert back to when they couldn’t seem to cure her. Up until just a few weeks ago, he expected that they would return because she would become unstable again. But it never happened. He was so thankful it never happened. He slipped his right hand under hers, his worries just seemed like paranoia.
“Raven, won’t you wake up already?” He muttered as he had gotten used to talking to himself whenever he visited her.
“I still planned to confess to you,” He chuckled emptily “Won’t you at least let me do that?” He brought her hand to his forehead. “Let me be selfish…”
 ~.~.~.~.~
 The door to Raven’s personal room opened, revealing Damian in his robin uniform, his mask off. He walked to her in a slightly slump manner and he took her hands on his and sighed.
“I’m sorry Raven, it appears that I can’t visit you for the unforeseeable future. Something came up.” He looked at her sleeping face sadly.
“Don’t be angry, I try to visit you every day after all, even if it’s just for a couple of minutes, but I never missed a day since you got injured.” He paused a vacant look on his face. “If you ask me, I’m pretty sure they were lenient on my lack of participation in missions recently because I looked as if I had lost a lover.” He laughed in a broken manner.
“It’s funny-- how I am reacting as if I had lost a lover—when we never really got to be together. It would be nice if you wake up—at least let me confess to you clearly. And you can put a rest to my pining.” He didn’t know why, but he felt that he had to rearrange her hair before he left and so he did.
“I will come back, I promise you.” He said as he reluctantly let go of her hand. He refused to look back as he left the room, and took his mask from his utility belt and puts it on.
 ~.~.~.~.~
 The door opened gently again as Damian Wayne in an all-black outfit walked in. He was in his signature black turtleneck. He had on a thin black framed eyeglass on his nose and held a book on his left hand. He had gotten used to opening the door slowly and gently, out of the fear that when he opened the door she wouldn’t be there anymore.
At first, he thought that it was an unreasonable fear, but clearly it was not. He was afraid that the time he wasn’t with her, she would have long been gone. And when he comes to visit, he would be greeted with an empty bed. And he would not be able to even say his farewells.
He closed the door even more gently—because when the door is closed this time was theirs—well his. Because she was still unconscious—still very unaware of his presence.
“Hey Raven, I brought the book I last read to you—I have enough time today to read to you just a few chapters.” He said as he walked to his position beside her. He took a seat on the chair and held her right hand with his right hand. “It would be nice if you woke up soon.” He smiled grimly, the words have started becoming something he said out of habit.
Damian gave her a little recap of what he had read to her before as he held her hand. After that, he continued where he left off, holding her hand when he wasn’t flipping through pages. He read in a slow manner; his mind more aware of the fact that her hand felt so very right against his, instead of the words he was saying aloud.
 ~.~.~.~.~
 Raven was still lying unconscious in the white room, on her white bed. Everything was quiet inside.
“Damian it’s been almost eight months!” Came a voice from outside the room.
“So, what Grayson!” Yelled back the voice of Damian Wayne. He was in an argument right outside of Raven’s room with Dick Grayson, his adopted brother—also known as Nightwing.
“Are you serious Dami?” A pause. “At least let others see her!”
“By others you mean Garfield, right?” A loud bang was heard from inside the room.
“Well—shit, yes! Why won’t you let Gar see her? He has been asking about her or where she is.”
“Don’t you dare bring Garfield to see her—don’t you dare!” A furious reply from Damian as shuffling footsteps were heard.
“Look man, I get it. I really do. But Damian, you can’t just hide her away from her teammates.” Dick said in a tone of anxiousness.
“You see her too.” Was Damian’s quiet response. 
“You know that’s not what I mean.” A louder bang entered Raven’s room ending Dick’s words.
“She planned to leave anyway.” Damian said defensively. There was silence for a few seconds and a frustrated humph could be heard from outside the room.
“I—I didn’t think anyone would be able to deal with seeing her in that way—I” Damian paused. “I don’t think they’d want to see her in a coma—I thought it was for the best. I—I’m sorry Grayson, I will let them see her—but—just not Garfield, Grayson. That is all I am asking from you, just not him. He caused her enough pain.” And the door to Raven’s room opened. She still laid there asleep. Damian did not wait for Dick’s reply and he slowly closed the door behind him.
He was in a black button up polo shirt tucked into his black slacks, that was held into place by a black belt with a silver metal piece and he wore his black leather shoes. He looked tired but there was no hint of anger from what had transpired outside Raven’s bedroom.
“You must have heard our little argument, huh?” He said approaching the familiar chair he always sat on when visiting her. “I’m sorry to have disturbed your sleep.” He continued as he sat down on the chair and took her hand in his again. “Of course, I didn’t disturb your sleep, after all you're still unconscious.” A hollow chuckle soon followed.
Damian placed the back of Raven’s hand against his forehead. “You can wake up now. Scold me for being so selfish. For not allowing Garfield to visit you. In fact, for not letting anyone else visit you aside from a select few. But—mostly Garfield. I will not allow him in here too— in this space-- so why don’t you wake up and just tell me how selfish I am.” He tilted his head to look at Raven while her hand was still pressed on the temple of his head.
But as usual there was no response, he was so used to talking to himself by now. At this point, Damian was very convinced that Raven had tried to reach out for Garfield, one last time, before she fainted. And the thought was something that caused him bitterness.
Even in her near-death, Garfield was the last in her mind.
 ~.~.~.~.~
 Damian was sitting on the same chair holding Raven’s hand. Three months have passed since Damian and Dick’s heated argument outside of Raven’s bedroom. He wore a red hoodie with black pants and black shoes. This time around, for the first time, he looked less tired since this whole ordeal happened.
“It looks like you had a lot of visitors this month too.” He glanced at the flowers on both bedside tables, pictures in frames of Raven with the team and other things. Now the room seemed to have a little bit of a personality.
“I think it’s great that you have some visitors. Though I admit, I think that eventually they will come to visit less and less, so I think you should wake up soon. Everyone misses you a lot. I think the longer you stay asleep people would forget about you. Everyone you know is a hero Raven, and even though you stay asleep—we still have to defend the people. Everyone’s priorities will shift and they would have less time to see you. And because they have started settling with your absence, for sure the visits will lessen. But I promise, I will visit you every day until you wake up.” Damian placed a gentle kiss on the back of her hand and he froze.
His lips hovering over her hand. He wiped the spot he kissed her at, with his thumb.
“I’m sorry, I should be asking permission. I didn’t—” He stared at the back of her hand. “I’m sorry I don’t know since when I started doing that, but I’m sorry. I overstepped.” He gently placed her hand back on the bed and stood up. “Let’s see what’s in the drawers, shall we?” He muttered to himself and surveyed every nook and cranny and objects in her room, keeping a mental inventory.
“We will be starting a new book soon. I no longer keep track of the books we’ve read.” He said after finishing his inspection of the room and went to sit back on the chair and crossed his arms across his chest.
“Well—I mean I keep track of the titles but no longer itemize them…” He added quietly, he used to count them but stopped at around the fifth book because it seemed like the list would continue to grow. And seeing the number rise would just be another reminder of the fact that the days waiting for Raven to wake was stretching to impossibility.
 ~.~.~.~.~
 It was a little over a year since Raven has been in her comatose state. The room felt heavy and she stirred because of it. Her breathing a little louder—a little labored. Her eyes fluttered open—her vision a blur. She saw two figures at the foot of her bed. The taller one looking at the shorter man. The shorter one was looking at her startled—he seemed to have an odd skin color. She could almost swear it was green. Raven’s eyes started to roll back to unconsciousness.
“Dick, she’s awake!” It was a familiar voice; Raven couldn’t help but think.
“What?” Dick turned to look at Raven, her eyelids slowly closing, her labored breathing slowly quieting down.
“I saw her eyes open; I swear it!” She recognized the voice as Garfield, but knowing who it was did not give her any extra motivation to fight her sleepiness.
“What the fuck is going on here!” Another familiar voice furiously entered Raven’s faltering consciousness. She wanted to wake up—to fight the tiredness she was feeling. But it was simply too late now.
The door had banged open when Damian entered. Damian was still wearing his black outer coat, his shoes dirty as he had just arrived from outside. He had no time to freshen up to visit Raven because he found out what Dick was up to.
When his eyes laid on Garfield who was looking at Raven, he wanted to rip Garfield’s head off. Damian Wayne looked like he was going to pop a vein on his neck. He glared at Dick with such open hostility that Dick was taken aback, and Garfield beside him recalled the fear Damian instilled in him that night Raven got injured.
“Her eyes opened; I saw it!” Garfield said frantically, hoping that would ease Damian’s anger. Damian stole a glance at Raven—but she was at the same state he had last seen her in.
Comatose.
“I asked you one thing, Grayson!” He growled as he slowly stomped his way to Dick whose hands were up in a ‘I surrender’ way. Damian grabbed Dick’s coat collar and pulled him close. “One thing Grayson!” He shoved Dick and pointed at Garfield.
“Look—you can’t continue denying someone who wants to visit a friend.” Dick tried to calm his brother down as he straightened his coat.
“Friend?” Damian snorted in response.
“Look, Damian I begged Dick to bring me to her.” Garfield said and he received Damian’s angry glare.
“Get. Out.” Damian simply said, he looked as though he would kill either of them any second now. For some weird reason Garfield got a little more courage at that moment, he began to open his mouth. Dick seeing Garfield’s lips open—quickly intercepted by pulling Garfield by the arm and pulling him towards the door.
“I’m sorry little D, we will talk about it outside.” Dick said as he draggedGarfield out, giving Garfield a stern look to ensure Garfield’s silence. Garfield wasn’t happy but he understood that Dick was looking out for him.
Damian stood where he was, glaring at Raven as he waited for the door to close behind Dick and Garfield. He was stiff in his spot and his fists clenched so tightly. He was still very much angry. He stood like that for five more minutes before he tried to calm himself down. His fist unclenched and his brows unfurrow.
“So—well, stop pretending then—he's gone now—so wake up.” He demanded in a low voice as he hovered beside Raven near the chair. She did not move. And Damian laughed brokenly as he fell on his knees. He reached out for her right hand absentmindedly and rested his nose on the back of her palm.
“So, it turns out you just needed him to visit you to wake up?” Damian whispered as tears fell on her hand. “So why aren’t you awake already?” He sobbed.
It was never him—she never chose him.
 ~.~.~.~.~
 It had been four months since Garfield had been regularly visiting Raven, and at times he would also bring Terra with him. Damian had conceded Garfield's wish to allow him visitation rights to see Raven. Damian could not stay angry at Dick for over two weeks, and the pair reconciled, despite Dick undermining Damian’s wishes. Damian understood that Dick was looking out for him.
Damian’s family was very much worried over him since Raven’s fall. He acted more detached and unapproachable. He wasn’t sleeping well and every second he could spare he was always hovering over Raven. In fact, he slept well hunched by Raven’s bedside with Raven’s hand against his hands and forehead. Damian was even unwilling to celebrate his twenty-second birthday with Raven still unconscious. And they could see the toll it was taking on Damian.
His family knew he needed a little push to try and let Raven’s state go and pushing Damian to allow Garfield entry was the way to do it. Damian needed to move on.
But here he was again, in the white room he specifically prepared for her. Her accommodations are all arranged by him, and his visits are always a constant. But the past four months were difficult, as he was also actively avoiding having to meet Garfield when Garfield was visiting Raven.
When Damian was able to take a step back from his anger at what Dick did—he knew that his family did it to distract Damian—to keep him away from lurking around Raven. He understood it was made of good intentions. Damian reached out for Raven’s hand, a habit he has come to develop long ago.
He wore a plain white shirt with jeans. His hair was not as neat as it usually was, and there were eyebags under his eyes yet again.
“But I guess I am a man who will only love one person in their lifetime.” He muttered, placing Raven’s hand against his right cheek. “I’ve come to wonder sometimes if I am unfortunate to be such a man—or to fall for you—” he studied her face; he has memorized every detail about her. How could he not when he was here, beside her so frequently.
“I’ve come to learn that loving you is not something to be regretful about. In fact, I am rather thankful for it. But you really got me pining over you, Raven.” He sighed, his eyes not capturing even the smallest of movement from Raven. “I love you.” He whispered and brushed his lips against the skin on the back of her hand.
A week and a half after, Damian paced at the foot of Raven’s bed, very much frustrated. He paused and glared at Raven, running his hands through his head, a sign of his developing anger. He stomped towards his spot as he glared at Raven again.
His hair was a mess, his eyebags had gotten darker. His clothes that was a plain black shirt with jeans had creases, very uncharacteristic of him.
“I don’t get it!” He said, containing most of his anger. “You obviously woke up the first time Garfield visited you! Tsk, as it turns out, all you need was for him to visit you-- for you to wake up. So why did you go back to sleep!” His tone louder now and he sighed to try and dispel a little of his anger. His hand at his side clenched into balls.
Damian was seething in anger, and he exhaled and inhaled in air as if he was palpitating. Finally, the anger he had dissipated. But it was replaced by raw hopelessness, anyone who would see him in such a state, would feel their hearts knot.
“You really—really got me pining over you.” Damian said as he knelt on the floor with a hunched back as he took her right hand in between his palms. “It’s funny how you pined over someone else as I pined over you—it seems that you're making me pine over you just as long as you pined over him.”
The chair he usually sat on was across the room, toppled down. A droplet of water falls in front of Damian’s right knee.
 ~.~.~.~.~
 Two months passed just like that. Raven’s friends had long since stopped visiting her as frequently as they did the first three months. Asking them to take so much time off of their busy hero life was too much to ask for. But Damian always made time for her, and at almost a year and a half the toll of doing so had fully manifested.
He looked so tired, his eye bags are in the darkest shade it had been since the accident. He looked thinner, not scarily thin, but it was obvious he had lost some weight. His clothes were as neat as it could be. His white button up shirt crisp and so is his black slacks. His black leather shoes are very shiny. He placed a lot of effort in his appearance because even he could tell that his health has waned, and he was compensating with his clothes.
When Raven was in ICU for the first three months, he was in such a bad state. When she finally got relatively cured but was in comatose, he looked better-- more relaxed. Then a little after, he had to continue with his responsibilities, particularly as a hero and somehow, he managed. The weight he had initially lost, he had regained and now he had shed perhaps even more than he did at that time.
But now at almost a year and a half of juggling hero life, personal and family life. Being with Raven almost every day since the night she got hurt. To actively avoid Garfield while Garfield was visiting and arranging his own visits to go around Garfield’s visitation, but also keeping to his schedule and preference of seeing Raven on a very regular basis. And Raven still not waking up—Damian was quite spent.
He was sitting on his chair facing Raven’s right hand. His head propped onto his hands which were propped up on his knees. He was looking at Raven’s face blankly, dark circles under his eyes. He didn’t know how much longer he could do this.
Raven’s state was always at the forefront of his mind. And when he was on a mission, he tried to put it as a lesser priority. But when he is near to death his first thought is: If I die who will look after Raven? And so, he fights with every screaming fiber he had, even when he was in such excruciating pain. After all, he still had to see her wake up.
One would think a year and a half wasn’t really a long time—but it did not feel like it has been just over a year for Damian—it felt like he has been waiting for her to wake up for five years.
He had just realized quite recently, just exactly how much stress he had gotten due to all this. And it was taking a major toll on him. He now completely understood why his family was worried about it—about him. Hindsight after all is 20/20 and he now clearly saw exactly how concerning his state was.
There was only one solution. His eyes flickered to Raven—he had not noticed that his gaze had drifted off of her and was surprised when his eyes laid on her again. He sighed and suddenly stood up, and picked up a lock of her hair.
“Raven, your hair has grown quite a bit—it's already at waist length. I thought of having it cut—but I think that should be your decision.” He placed it back down. “If you don’t wake up any time soon—I’m afraid I would have to let you go.” He mumbled to himself as he turned around to lean on the bed and gaze at the ceiling blankly.
Two weeks after, Damian was back in her room, looking even worse. This time he was just standing beside Raven with a very empty gaze. He had been standing there in his black slacks, black dress shoes and a green button up polo shirt for fifteen minutes already.
“I give up Rae.” He looked down on the ground. His words were so soft because he was very much afraid of the implications himself. He knew he had to let her go.
“I—I don’t think I can visit you like this.” He fought the tears as he said his words a little louder. And there was nothing left to say, he just softly touched her hand for a second and pulled away and then looked at her blankly.
A month after Damian’s decision to let Raven go, he realized getting to the conclusion and acknowledging what had to be done and executing his decisions were two completely different things. He was still visiting her in the same consistency that he always had. And he knew he had to fight to break the habit that he had already formed. Seeing her was second nature to him, and he simply had to break it.
 ~.~.~.~.~
 Two months after, Damian was finally able to decrease his visits. And had even met Garfield a few times and actually didn’t mind it. His visit reduction was not really significant but the fact he was able to decrease it at all, was a win for him.
He was in jeans and a red shirt, looking very casual and he looked more unbothered and not so tired. His hands in his pockets as he just stood. For the first time, he looked genuinely relaxed. His gaze at her was soft and the eyebags he had been sporting in different shades, for almost two years, were significantly less dark this time.
“I know I don’t visit often anymore—and you probably can’t tell—aside from the obvious,” A small twinkle in his eyes at the little joke. The fact that he could make a joke like that, spoke volumes of how far he had come. “You really made me pine over you for the duration you pined over Garfield. Nine years—you really made this whole thing come into full circle. You pined for him for nine years and decided to move on completely—but this happens.” He gestured at her generally.
“Now I have pined for you for the same duration, and I have decided to move on too.” He said grimly and the hint of playfulness he had prior was gone. “It really came full circle.”
He just stood to her right with a small smile. He tried his best not to stay so long to visit her nowadays. Damian found that standing was the best option in order for him not to stay longer than he intended.
Damian puts his hand atop Raven’s, he has also avoided holding her hand properly or else he’d find himself sitting on his spot and just holding her hand. He would then talk to her and the intended short visit would become like his regular visits from before.
“I have decided. I am moving on—I am letting you go.” And he pulled his hand away a little too quickly, afraid of the temptation that was the familiarity of her hand against his—or maybe it was his hand against hers. After all, it was always him holding onto her.
His head had looked away to look at the flowers on her bedside tables. He has been talking to her about visiting her less, and letting her go for a few months now. At first it was just a passing thought. But the last two months, it seemed Damian had to tell her every time he visited. He was unaware of how frequent he was telling her that. But in retrospect, he could tell now that he had been dropping hints.
It started from hints, to telling her absentmindedly, to repeatedly telling her every time he visits—until finally he was able to visit less. And because Damian turned his head, he missed the small twitch of Raven’s hand when he pulled his hand away, to look at her bedside tables.
There was silence, as he looked down and closed his eyes. He squeezed his eyes for a moment then sighed as he looked at Raven, a faint smile on his lips. He took a step back, feeling as though he was leaving his heart on this spot. He then turned feeling lonely yet strong and regretful at the same time.
When he was gone, Raven’s eyebrow twitched.
The next day when Damian decided to check on Raven’s condition, he was frozen in fear to see the scientist and doctors hovering over Raven who was attached to so many monitors and tubes.
It was like he had stepped into the time she was brought in to close up her wound. He was unfrozen when she saw her spasming. He ran towards her, as her chest lifted and she was choking, black almost slime like blood came out from her mouth and spilled from her oxygen mask.
“Sir—we need you out of the way.” A doctor pulled Damian away. “Who let this one in!” The doctor added and a nurse took Damian away, trying to console him.
“This is odd—there seems to be no traces of the compound we found last time. But her body is rejecting something.” Damian heard the doctor say, at that moment Raven’s eyes opened and her line of sight fell on Damian’s instantly. Her hand lifted slowly to his direction; her eyes wet as her face slowly turned red from the lack of oxygen. A doctor had already punctured her lungs to assist her in breathing, but black blood was oozing out from it.
“Let me, the fuck go!” Damian yelled as he strongly shoved the nurse off of him. He was normally someone who didn’t do this, but seeing Raven’s face slowly contort to fear and resignation, he actually went against the nurse. He remembered when she was in ICU for the first few months he observed quietly from the distance, but he couldn’t now.
“Raven!” He called out as he knelt on the floor and held her right hand that she had stretched out. “I promise, I will not leave you. So, you have to fight this!”
She squeezed his hand in hers as best as she could as her eyes closed and a tear slipped from her eye.
“Sir—I’m sorry but you are being a distraction.” A bulky man approached Damian, giving him no choice but to let go of Raven’s hand and put his hands up as he slowly left the room.
“She’s—I heard the subject has powers—” A person in a lab gown said, perhaps a scientist.
“Patient.” A doctor cuts off the scientist.
Before Damian was shoved out of the room, he stole a glance of Raven, her hand was glowing a faint purple black hue. And it seemed that she could breathe.
“Sir—there seems to be something appearing—” And that was the last thing Damian heard before the door was shut close in front of him.
Two weeks later Raven was finally stable but still in a coma. They were fighting with her condition for those two weeks—cross referencing and analyzing data, finding and testing out new information. And everything has now calmed down. He was only allowed entry today after the stunt that he pulled.
Damian was sitting on his chair, holding her hand. He wore a white t-shirt with many creases. His hair is a slightly better case compared to his shirt. And the outfit was complete with a plain pair of jeans and casual shoes. And to top it all off, his eyebags had become darker again.
”You really scared me. God, I forgot how afraid I was of losing you recently—you really know how to make someone remember, huh?” He muttered as he put her hand against his forehead, he was shaking a bit, as he fought his tears. And he felt her hand twitch against his—and he choked as he looked at her face.
Her eyes were still close but for the first time, he actually felt her react. In two years, she finally moved. He smiled tightly and nodded his head. He brought her hand against his lips and softly kissed her hand.
“You reached out to me that night, didn’t you?” He put her hand against his cheek as he turned his head towards her again. “You have to wake up and clarify that to me.” And he heard her loudly inhale.
For the first time in months, he finally had hope that she would wake up. “I promise you; I will wait for you to wake up. This time, I will not break this promise.”
 ~.~.~.~.~
 The door suddenly opened with a panic stricken Damian. He was unable to take off his outer coat and change into cleaner shoes because he heard a crash from generally where Raven’s room was located, on the second floor, when he had just entered the building. 
“Raven!” He called out his fear practically at the base of his throat.
When he heard the loud crash, he feared for the worst. His eyes at first saw an empty bed, and his heart almost jumped out of his chest. The vase on her right bedside table with flowers had shattered on the floor. He quickly searched for Raven, and exhaled deeply when he spotted her at the foot of her bed. She was holding onto her bed with great difficulty. Her eyes observed Damian wearily.
He approached her, thinking that maybe this was a dream.
“Raven.” He whispered when he was two feet away, her violet eyes did not show any recognition at seeing Damian. He picked her up and carried her in his arms, and despite not recognizing him at first, she wrapped her arms around his neck.
“Damian.” She whispered and he squeezed him back. She rested her forehead on his shoulder, as he carried her back to her bed. He set her down gently as he pulled away, she grabbed his right hand.
“It feels so perfect.” She gently told him, and Damian was startled by her words. A smile slowly formed and he found himself chuckling.
“I’ve been here almost every day, holding your hand. Maybe your hand molded into mine—” He shook his head. "Or maybe the other way around.”
“I—my memory is kind of fuzzy,” Raven said as she laid back in bed. “But I know you, I remember you. I heard you so often. It became scary when you weren’t there.” Her eyes started to flutter, she seemed a little bit too tired. But she continued to hold his hand until she fully fell into slumber, to which her grip loosened.
Damian took the opportunity to call the doctors and scientist to inform them of her condition.
When she awoke again the doctors, scientists and Damian were talking.
  ~.~.~.~.~
 A month after, Raven was already walking by herself inside her room. She started walking around the villa quite recently. But she has not been able to walk outside yet. She found that once the door to go outside the villa was opened, her knees would buckle. So, for the past month she was mostly roaming indoors.
She had found out that this was one of Bruce Wayne’s properties, and Damian had asked for the property. Damian was someone who would never ask anything of anyone if he could do it himself, so it was surprising to everyone that Damian had asked for this villa. And because of that Bruce granted Damian the property, if not for that, in the very least to give Damian some peace of mind. At least then Damian would know Raven had a place to stay and would not be kicked out if he so much as vanished.
She also found out that Damian did not spare any expense in her recuperation and that her situation was quite odd. The creature’s origin could not be quite narrowed down, thus its effects on her were up on the air. But that was where the doctors and scientists and all the tech was for, alien tech included. With the collective resources provided, they were able to make something to assist Raven’s condition.
“Raven, I think you should really try to get out.” Damian said as he walked in. He looked so happy seeing her, just standing by the window gazing out. She turned her head to smile at him.
He looked better—in fact the happiest and relaxed he had ever been in two years. His clothes were pressed well, it was a casual attire, and he had no hint of any kind of weariness. No more eyebags, and his eyes no longer looked so dead.
“If you go with me, I can try.” She responded, she had not seen him in two weeks due to his busy schedule, with the team and talking to her doctors and scientists. Him learning and relearning everything about her condition since she got attacked, and he also had family matters, he didn’t really have time to be with Raven recently and she understood.
She kept herself busy by building her physical strength through walking within the walls of Damian’s villa. She also used the time to comb through her thoughts.
“Okay.” He agreed as he offered her his right hand and she accepted it with both her hands. Until now he couldn’t believe that she was awake.
“I really thought I was dreaming when you woke up a month ago.” He confessed again as he sighed and led her to the door.
“I’m here. Everything is still a bit fuzzy. But I know you—I trust you. Your Damian.” Raven responded unhurriedly as she placed a hand on his arm.
Fifteen minutes later, Damian came in with Raven in his arms weeping.
“I—I can’t… it—it…” And she wept.
“I’m sorry, we will take it step by step. I will be here if you ever want to try and go outside.” He comforted her as he placed her on her bed. She nodded as he wiped away her tears.
“I thought I was going to die—” She sobbed. “There was something I wanted to do… I don’t—” Another sob, “I don’t recall what.”
He held her hands and then she suddenly froze on the spot. She looked at him in the eyes, and she blinked as the tears fell. “I didn’t want to leave you.”
And this time it was his time to freeze on the spot. Raven pulled her hands away from his, and she placed her fingertips on either side of his face.
“I was afraid that I didn’t have enough time with you. I wanted to know you more.” Her vision seemed to go back to that night. “I wanted to be with you.” She absent-mindedly brushed her lips against his. And when the pressure registered in her brain, she pulled away, an apology at the tip of her tongue.
Raven was surprised to feel an even heavier pressure against her lips. And she returned the kiss as well as deepened it. She noted how she was reacting very naturally over the situation, and how inexperienced Damian was. And she pulled away.
“Is this your first kiss?” She asked him. And he looked away with a small blush on his face.
“It’s—I’m very inexperienced with dating…” He admitted, and she observed him as she wiped her tears.
“I’m assuming, I have dated before.” She replied impartially. 
“Yes, Garfield.” He responded blankly, and when the name came off Damian’s mouth, he saw her expression soften. His eye twitched as he looked away. He suddenly felt her hands against his, making him turn to look at her again.
“Gar… field…” She muttered, his hand clenching at the way she called his name. “Was he the only one I dated?” Damian nodded in response.
“I see…” She said with furrowed brows. “My head is aching a bit. I think I should rest…” Raven lets go of Damian’s hands.
“Can we try going outside again tomorrow?” Damian was pulled out from his reverie with the inquiry, surprise in his eyes.
“Of course, I would love that.” She smiled at his response.
“Can you—” She looked at him hesitatingly. “Can you hold my hand when we do?”
He was even more shocked to hear those words, and he smiled as he placed a hand on her cheek. “Of course, Raven.”
“I would like to date you, Damian.” Raven stared at Damian, who just pulled his hand away from her cheek and straightened his posture as he looked away.
“Your memory isn’t like what it was Raven, I think it’s too early to say that.” His response wasn’t something she enjoyed but Raven pressed her lips together and did not push him.
She didn’t recall her love for Garfield at the moment and assuming she would choose Damian when she does recall, would  be too much of wishful thinking on Damian's part.
~.~.~.~.~
 The sun was setting and the white room was filled with an orange hue from the setting sun outside. Raven and Damian had just arrived from walking outside. This time around she was able to stay outside longer without having flashbacks of the night she got stabbed. It was great progress. But she always held Damian as if he was the only remaining lifeboat in an open, turbulent ocean.
Damian and Raven were continuing a pleasant conversation they had outside in her bedroom, when suddenly the door opened.
“Raven!” Garfield came in with such a relieved look on his face, his eyes expectant as he searched for her. Damian and Raven’s happy conversation grew stale as they turned their head to the door.
“Raven!” He called out again when his eyes landed on her but Raven remained in place. “Of course, you wouldn’t tell me she is awake!” Garfield added with a glare to Damian, whose head was casted down.
“Tsk, Greyson.” He muttered, Greyson right behind Garfield but was hidden from Damian’s line of sight. Despite Damian’s head casted down, he took note of Raven’s reaction.
She was still, she stood in place, but Damian could tell, she was so close to running to Garfield and hugging him. And all Damian could do was squeeze his eyes shut, as he inhaled softly while clenching his fists.
Seeing Garfield, Raven felt like her soul from inside her was vibrating with excitement. And yet, at the same time it felt as though a thin layer of frost blanketed her entire body, and it was enough to render her frozen. Despite her deep desire to hug Garfield, her feet were so heavily planted on the floor, that she didn’t even move an inch. Her breathing was shallow and unhurriedly soft, and she just focused on that.
The days had passed so pleasantly after Raven woke up that Damian had thought that he had a place in her heart. But seeing her like this, he knew—Garfield still outweighs him.
“Get out.” Raven said, to which Damian snapped his head to Raven’s direction, who had simply turned her back and walked to the window. “All of you.”
Damian wanted to say something, his fists curling and uncurling by his sides, but he saw her stiff figure with crossed arms as she stubbornly looked outside. He was the last to leave.
He came back a few hours later, to see Raven sitting by the windowsill looking outside.
“He hasn’t left has he?” She whispered hoarsely not looking at who entered. Damian shook his head as he replied, even though she would not see it.
“His downstairs, hoping you’d at least see him.” He got no response, but she tilted her head.
“I didn’t see him leave.” She muttered vacantly.
“I’m here to convince you to eat dinner.” And Raven turned to look at him, a frown on her face.
“Okay,” She sighed. “But you are eating with me.”
Damian was startled at hearing this, a second passed before the words sunk in.
“Alright.” He blinked at her.
“Here.” She added and he told her that he would be back, as he left for a moment to get them their dinner.
When he arrived with food, they sat on a pub table that was added a little after Raven woke up. It could only sit two people, and it was made of some nice honey brown wood. The cushions of the chair are red and its frame is made of the same wood as the table. It was rather small for two people, but they made do.
Raven was vacantly playing with her food while Damian observed her with a frown. He had not yet scolded her for not eating, as he was giving her just a little more time.
With a sigh she said, “It’s odd, when I saw him, it felt like I just realized the world was a puzzle with missing pieces, and his presence just made all the missing pieces appear on it’s designated places. He was familiar, he was someone I knew—love, maybe even… but something didn’t sit well with me. I didn’t want to approach him. And I didn’t want him to approach me.” Damian just listened as she said her piece. 
The two were enveloped in a tranquility that evidently belonged to them, and them alone. They felt secured in each other’s presence and there was no response needed.
 ~.~.~.~.~
 It took Raven three days to be able to even meet Garfield. The sun was setting, and from Raven’s window, one could see Raven talking with Garfield. They were sitting on a bench facing the sunset, their backs facing the window in Raven’s room.
So, it was a given that the two did not see Damian observing them from the window. He did not look upset nor joyful with the scene he was seeing. But once Garfield placed a hand on Raven’s hand, and she tilted her head a bit towards Garfield, you could see Damian’s face slowly turn into unpleasantness.
When the minutes passed, and Garfield nor Raven had not pulled away from one another, his face contorted to wanting to storm out from Raven’s room to standing still and just holding his breath—just hoping and wishing—that she had not chosen Garfield.
But the minutes continued to pass, and Garfield’s hand continued to rest on Raven’s hand. And Raven glanced at him with a smile forming on her lips. And Damian couldn’t help but think that despite Raven having difficulties in leaving the building with him, if it was Garfield with her—of course it would be easier for her to be outside with him-- with Garfield.
And Raven started closing in on the space between her and Garfield, and Damian did not want to see that. So, he turned around quickly, and he stood with his back against them, as he flexed his fists, and sighed. He had hurried to see her; he had gone through the garage so he was unable to see them in the yard. Once he got into her room, and she wasn’t there, Damian absentmindedly walked to the window. That was when he saw her and Garfield together on a bench, looking like lovers.
He wondered how long he stood by the window looking at them. He closed his eyes and sighed again, by the end of the day it was never him. He walked to the door without looking back.
A few days later, Raven is pacing her room anxiously. She had not seen Damian in days, she worried he saw her and Garfield the other day and that was why he was nowhere to be seen. But she wanted to explain to him what he had seen wasn’t what he thought. She had to tell him.
And she could feel the panic go up onto her throat. She sat on her bed, facing the door. She had refused to step out of her room after she talked to Garfield—not without Damian. She could not find the strength to go out of her room after her chat with Garfield.
Raven buried her hands on her face as the tears started to stream from her eyes. All she could see under her closed eyes, was the time—that night, when she reached out for Damian. The pain when that black spike hit her sternum.
She recalled her desire to be with Damian, but right now she felt it so very intensely that she was afraid. She was so afraid that she had lost that chance. And the door opened, and in an instant she was up on her feet with wide eyes. Seeing that it was Damian, she sobbed as she ran towards Damian and tackled him with a hug.
He was startled and it took a moment for him to realize that she was hugging him so tightly. He gently returned her hug.
“I thought you wouldn’t come back. I was so scared.” She wept on the nook of his shoulder, her feet not even touching the floor.
“I’m sorry for worrying you.” He replied softly, and tightened his hold on her as he set her down a bit so that she could touch the floor. They stood like that for a moment.
Raven eventually pulled away and tried to collect her bearings. She wiped her tears and looked at Damian in the eyes. On the other hand, he was wishing she hadn’t pulled away-- maybe that was the only time he could hold her like that. And she reached for his hands and it felt so right.
“When Gar came, and guided me outside, I couldn’t find the strength to step through the door. All I could think about was that I need you. I need you to hold my hand as I step outside. While that night kept flashing through my mind. But he held my hand—and it felt so familiar. And all my fears just vanished.” She looked down on their feet. “And I found myself outside—with him.” There was guilt in her face and on the tone of her voice. And Damian honestly did not want to hear what she had to say next. But she held his hands tighter, making him decide to just keep quiet. A small smile formed on her lips as tears fell and splatter on the floor.
“I forgot the time I was injured, till the time before he held my hands. It felt like I could breathe again.” Damian’s right eye twitched, he wondered what was her point. She suddenly flicked her head to look at him, and he was startled.
“He will always be someone that matters to me, we will always have history. I have loved him for nine years, we shared so many memories—so many firsts. But I do not want to be with him. I want to be with you. And I know I am asking a lot, but if all these don't bother you—I would love it, if you would date me.” But she was greeted with silence. “I want you. I want to be with you.” She softly added, her confidence fading.
“I don’t mind.” He said so softly, but Raven didn’t hear it.
“If that is an issue for you, then I completely understand.” She continued on.
“I don’t mind.” He repeated.
“I know it’s been two years, and that there must have been someone you became interested in. Or maybe you’ve even dated a bit. I know we don’t talk about it, but I get that—” She squeezed her eyes, her tone ready to break in a sob.
“Raven, I want to be with you.” He cupped her cheek and tilted her head towards him. She looked at him with the slightest hint of distrust. “I’ve always wanted to be with you—I waited for you.” He said, being able to say those words felt like such a relief to Damian. And the tears started falling from Raven’s eyes as the distrust was washed away.
“I almost gave up, I admit that.” He couldn’t bring himself to look at her anymore. She cupped both of his cheeks.
“If I were in your place, even I would waver.” She told him, trying to catch his dodging eyes. When she finally was able to lock her eyes with his, she added. “Garfield will always have some meaning to me—his all I have known for nine years, even before sleeping for two years—my history with him is half of my life. I was afraid. I thought he was the only one who could possibly love someone like me—I was wrong. I was so, so wrong. I want my next memories and moments-- with you. And slowly those memories I had, and my history with him, will just be a fraction of my life. I want you. I want every possible milestone with you, Damian.”
He slowly nodded, and when Raven’s eyes registered the nod, he couldn’t help but smile and chuckle. But she looked like she was going to cry out of happiness and disbelieve. This time she has chosen him.
“I never thought this day would happen.” He leaned in to rest his forehead against hers, and a soft smile formed on her lips. And they shared the moment in silence. After a while, Damian talks.
“I was afraid to ask, or open up about this, especially since you were still recuperating—and your memories are fuzzy. But who would have thought you would catch me by surprise and open up the topic yourself?” Raven took the opportunity to plant a kiss on his lips, and he conservatively kissed back to which she deepened the kiss. And she pulled away recalling Damian’s inexperience last time.
“We will take it step by step. I might still remember more about Garfield, and I might get a little confused. But remind me that I chose you since that night.” She leaned her forehead against his, eyes locked with one another. Damian’s eyes flickered with surprise and the confirmation that she chose him that night, made his eyes soften with the acknowledgement. He caressed her face with his thumb.
“I finally caught up to you.” He whispered, a giggle bubbling up on the base of Raven’s throat.
 ~.~.~.~.~
 A few months later, the white sterile room was no longer white nor empty. Raven had flipped the room with Damian’s help and approval. Its walls were now a soft lilac color. The room’s furniture was either accented with white, glass or silver metals. And the ceiling was littered with little crystals, that once the lights were off, would illuminate like stars in different colors. The medical bed swapped for a king sized bed. Her sheets were navy blue and white.
“Raven, are you ready?” Damian’s voice came from outside her open door. She turned in her white fitted dress with the thinnest spaghetti straps. Her long hair that passed her waist was tied into a fishtail braid.
“Of course!” She replied happily, as she ran towards the door, and tackled Damian with a hug and giggled.
“Excited for our brunch?” He teased.
“Absolutely!” She replied without missing a second.
Later that night they were in her bedroom. Damian sat on her bed and she was kneeling over his lap. Raven’s hair slowly unravelling from its braid. Their lips have been intertwined with one another for minutes now. He had one hand on her waist and the other on her thigh, a bit too afraid to rest it on her bum. While her hands were on his neck and on his chest.
Raven broke off the kiss, and started kissing his neck.
“If we’re going too fast, you can tell me.” She muttered in between kisses. But when she did not hear any response, she pulled away to look at him.
“I know Garfield and I had a lot of firsts together, if that bothers you…” Damian broke away from his dazed state and looked at her questioningly.
“I admit, at first it did,” His eyes followed his hand as it traveled from her thigh to her waist which he caressed. “Thinking of how he knows how to please you…” He looked back at her conflicted eyes. “But that just means I have to learn how to please you my way. You two were together for so long—it would be a given that I’m not your first. That is alright. But you are mine.” He admitted a small blush on his face. And she smiled as she kissed his eye and trailed kisses to his jawline. He was being brought back to his dazed state.
“I feel honored.” She whispered in between her kisses. And she playfully bit his ear after. Damian was startled and grabbed her butt and she gasped.
“Then I will take the lead then.” She whispered alluringly by his ear, as her hands travelled under his shirt. Her braid was completely undone at this point, soft black wavy waist length hair cascading  down her head.
 FIN.
 Bonus Scene:
Garfield and Raven were outside on the yard and they had been talking for hours that the sun had finally begun to set.
“You know, when I woke up, I couldn’t find myself to walk out of my room. Eventually, I was able to overcome it. But I found that it was so difficult to step outside the villa. All I could see was that night and being stabbed, and the last person I saw.” Raven confessed and Garfield placed a hand on hers to comfort her.
“But Damian was there, he guided me and stayed with me as we walked outside.” A small smile on her lips. “I always held him like I was in open water and he was the lifeboat. I was afraid of losing him. I mean, I still am. I still hold him so tightly, because I’m afraid that it would be my last chance with him. I thought I was going to die that night, Gar.”
“But when you offered your hand and held me, after you said you knew of my condition—my fear outside.” She glanced at the open area. “I forgot how afraid I was of going outside. It was like my fears these few months were nothing but a phantom. You were always associated with love and happy memories for me. But you and I both know, Gar, we were imperfect. We were destructive. We had become unhappy together for a very long time.” And she glanced at him fully.
“I want to say goodbye.” She finally said, and Garfield looked at her gently as Raven extended her arms to hug him. “I want to start a new romance—with Damian.” She whispered as they embraced one another.
“I wish you two happiness.” Garfield said as he pulled away.
“Yes, thank you.” She looked back at Damian’s villa. “I was so afraid I would lose him, I still do now, it's why I always hold him tightly whenever we go outside.” She looked back at the sunset that was facing them.
“I held on because of him—I’m sure it was him, I could feel his hand and hear him every now and then, until all I knew was his presence.” She mumbled mostly to herself.
 Alternate (timeline) Ending:
 Damian was asleep on the table, and had woken up with a jolt, all teary eyed.
“Damian, what’s wrong?” Raven said as she approached the table.
“I had a dream, you got injured and you were in a coma.” He replied. And he tells her what happened in his dream.
 Alternate’s Alternate Ending: (Reciprocate timeline)
 “I had a dream, you got injured and you were in a coma.” He replied as Raven sat down beside him. She gently places a hand on his, as she smiles softly.
“Damian, that did happen.” She replied unhurriedly.
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batboyimagines · 4 years
Text
Cold-Blooded [Damian Wayne x Male Reader]
Your Dad and your Ma’s relationship is... rocky to say the least. They were never actually together, no marriage or anything. It was just one night of bad decisions that made you.
So your birth wasn’t well planned. You think the reason your ma even kept you was because she was lonely. She’s raised you to the best her ability for they past fourteen years but it was only recently your dad found out. Now they have joint custody.
See, all of that isn’t normal per say, but it’s not bizarre or anything. Just two inexperienced, lonely people screwing up in more ways than one to make a whole nother screw up. However, your parents aren’t exactly average. One’s not even human. Anymore.
Medusa and John Constantine. By the gods, that’s probably the worst match imaginable. Moms great and all, you really do love her, but she’s a little crazy. Being exiled on an island all alone does that to you. And Constantine’s just... a mess. Not even a hot one.
Even so, you don’t mind being pawned between the two. They’re both great in their own ways and you appreciate the both of them. Right now you’re hanging out at your dad's house. Though it feels more like hanging out with an awkward uncle than a dad.
It’s nearing about 8:00 in the morning, not that you know that. You’re asleep on the couch, gazing blankly at the ceiling. You forgot to close your eyes while you sleep again. It’s sort of creepy.
A sudden pounding on the door startles you up, breaking the staring contest you were having with the ceiling. A contest which you totally won. You blink dazedly and the pounding starts up again.
Mournfully slipping out from under the soft, warm stack of blankets you slept under, you lumber towards the door. You squint through the peephole.
Through the peephole you see a warped view of six costumes lunatics of all sizes. You lean back from the door and let yourself have a begrudged yawn. Gods, it’s way too early for this. Dad’s still asleep even with all the racket.
The littlest lunatic in the hood pounds the door hard enough for it to shake in its frame and you decide you’ve had enough. You don’t bother with the chain latch and just open the door a crack.
“Do you know how early it is?” You groan. The little lunatic, who is actually around the same height as you, scoffs.
“It’s eight pm. A normal person would be awake and ready for the day by now.”
“Well, I don’t know how you people are up then because anyone who dresses like that isn’t normal.” The green guy snorts.
“Listen, we’re sorry to wake you, but is this the residency of John Constantine?” The guy in the black leotard asks.
“... no, why?” You ask suspiciously.
“We are the Teen Titans and we are in need of magical assistance.” The really tall, really exposed, redhead says. “We require his assistance, on behalf of the justice league.” You tense a bit at that.
Okay, you don’t hold the things that the gods did to your mom against those two members of the justice league, Aquaman and Wonder Woman. They seem like nice folks who really do want to do good and not for the selfish, vain reasons gods usually do, but…
They got their abilities from the same gods who really, really messed your mom up for no good reason. So call you petty, but you don’t want to associate with them.
“Sorry, he’s not here.” You say attempting to close the door on them. The hooded lunatic jams the door with his hand.
“This is a matter of utmost importance, you will take us to Constantine.” He demands. You scowl at him and try to shut the door on his fingers.
“Screw off weirdo, he’s not here!”
“He is, you are lying!”
“Am not!”
“Are too!”
“Am NOT!”
“Are TOO!”
“Christ on a cracker, what the bloody hell is going on?!” Your dad shouts, slamming the door shut, fully unlocking it and swinging it back open. Looks like the racket finally got him up. He sags at the sight of the troupe of crazies. “The hell do you people want?”
“We need your help.” Leotard man says.
“Of course you do. With what, I mean?”
“My father, Trigon, has possessed the justice league and we need a way to stop him.” The girl in purple replies. Your dad tenses.
“Trigon, eh? Sounds like a piece of work.” He says. You pretend to cough.
“Says the piece of work.” You tease under your breath because what’s even the point of a dad if you can’t make jabs at his life choices? He gives you a look and you just grin up at him.
“Why should I help you? The kind of magic that I’d have to use against that guy is expensive and tricky. I’m not gonna do it outta’ the good of my heart.”
“Because if you don’t help us, he could destroy the world.” Leotard says.
“Of course he could.” Dad breathes out as he sags against the door frame. You pat his arm. He looks at you and you give him an awkward smile. It seems to help him to a decision. He straightens up. “Well, I guess I don’t want the world to end. I need somewhere for this one to grow up.” He pats your head affectionately.
“Thanks.” You say, a bit embarrassed. Half because that’s the sappiest thing he’s ever said to you and half because, well, it’s nice to know you mean something to him. Even if he didn’t know that you existed until a few months ago.
“Well, come on in then.” He says turning from the doorway and into the apartment. The troupe of crazy people that nearly just broke into your house follow. You flounder for a moment.
“Wait, seriously? We’re just gonna let some random strangers, who nearly just broke in our house, inside just like that?” Your dad looks a bit guiltily at you. 
“Sorry bud, but this happens a lot more than I’d like.” He raises his hand hesitantly and gently lays it on your shoulder. “You can go back to your mother while I deal with this, if you’d like.”
“No, no it’s okay,” You quickly reassure, “it’s not bad it’s just… kinda weird. You know it’s weird right?” He snorts.
“Of course I do, but to be honest it’s almost normal for my line of work.”
“You should get into a different line of work then.”
“You know, I probably should.” 
Leotard man clears his throat- you know what? You want to know their names before they commandeer any more of your father-son bonding time. “By the way, what are your names? I feel I should know them before we do anything else.”
“Oh! My apologies,” Redhead replies, “I am Koriand’r, of Tamaran. And this is Blue Beetle, Beast boy, Raven, Nightwing, and Robin. We are the Teen Titans.”
“No offense, but you look more young adult than teenager?” She smiles sheepishly.
“Well, I was part of the original titans. I am now the leader.”
“Oh, okay, makes sense.”
“Alright,” your dad cuts in, “so what’s your plan for Trigon? What exactly do you want from me?” He and the Teen Titans begin to plan. You stick around for a bit, to get an idea of what your dad does. It’s not very interesting. So ten minutes into planning, you slip away to make breakfast.
Now, your dad is a mess. Not kind of a mess, a straight up mess. The kitchen is almost a reflection of your father. It’s a huge mess. There’s takeout boxes and dirty dishes strewn across every counter, no room for literally anything there is so much garbage. And this is only a few weeks worth of build up. Dad actually cleaned up before you arrived. 
Before you can even begin cooking you have to clean off the counters for some space. You’re trying to balance takeout boxes on top of the overflowing garbage can when a voice sounds from the doorway.
“This place is repulsive.” 
“HUAUGH FUCK!” You whip around flinging the takeout boxes across the room. Hooded lunatic, uh Robin you think, dodges them expertly. He seems a little surprised. You clutch at your chest, “Jesus, Christ man!”
“Apologies, I… did not mean to startle you.” He raises his hands a bit, as if calming a rapid animal. 
“Apology accepted.” You calm your rapid heart. Your freak out seems to have spooked any animosity Robin had earlier. The two of you stand around awkwardly. He’s a stranger in your house and he’s in a strangers house, which does not make for easy conversational partners. He looks around, avoiding your gaze. His eye catches on a painting on the wall.
“That is… an interesting picture.” He tries.
“Uh yeah, that’s actually a picture of my mom.” You say, playing with your hands.
“That is Medusa.”
“Yeah, she’s my mom.”
“Oh.”
“Yeah.”
“I see.”
“She doesn’t actually look like that, that painting’s really inaccurate.”
“Why does your father keep it up?”
“I dunno,” You’d feel weird cooking with him watching you, so you make your way past Robin and into the dining room, “I think either pettiness or affection.”
“Pettiness?” He asks following you.
“Yeah, I mean, they aren’t together? I think they were at least acquaintances before they, uh, ‘conceived’ me. But they don’t seem to like each other very much nowadays.” You say, pulling a chair out from the table. You push the one across from you out with your bare foot and gesture towards it. Robin hesitates a moment, but decides to sit down. “What about your parents? They like each other any more than mine do?”
“No,” He snorts, “I think they like each other much less.”
“Oh.”
The conversation stalls. You shift uncomfortably. Robin stares a hole into the grimy table. 
“Why not?”
“Pardon?”
“Why don’t your parents like each other?” He seems to think over his answer. 
“They are on opposite sides of the law.” 
“Oh, that’s tough.”
“Yes.”
“There’s tons of couples on opposite sides of the law though.” 
“Not them. My father’s moral code cannot bend to suit my mother.”
“Ah, I see.” You lean across the table and pat his arm. He looks at it a bit suspiciously, you pull it back. “I’m sorry about your parents.”
“No need to apologize, I’ve already come to terms with it.”
“Yeah, well, still sucks.” You say standing up. “I was gonna make food, wanna lend me a hand? I’m still new to cooking appliances. And electricity.”
“How are these things new to you?” He asks, even as he stands up to help anyway.
“Dude. I grew up on an island with no electricity or WiFi. All of this,” you gesture to the space around you, “is totally alien to me.”
“Ah, I see. Yes, I will assist you.”
“Thanks.”
He failed to mention that he has never used a toaster either. You both nearly burn down the apartment, had it not been your dad’s fire extinguisher.
TO BE CONTINUED
543 notes · View notes
rafeswife · 3 years
Text
CHAPTER ONE
Don’t forget to call me when you make it there safe!”
My mom yelled out at me as I scrambled to the door in a rush. A bag was on my shoulder full of hidden alcohol I had wrapped inside of towels, along with some snacks. I was currently on the way to see the pogues, unknowing to my mother who thought I was visiting the Cameron’s with baked goods.
I had lived in the Outerbanks for only a few weeks and the slang I had accumulated from hanging around the island still felt alien to me. My mother was a Interior Designer for one of the biggest home renovating shows in America, so moving around was nothing out of the ordinary for me. We had traveled from California to Ohio and my mothers next big project was none other then the North Carolina coast.
I had only met few people in my time on the island. On the second night of my stay I was greeted by a blonde girl who I soon placed as Sarah Cameron. The resident princess of the island; at least thats what I picked up on from listening to the Pogues. She was kind to me, it was a short exchange at the market. She recognized me as someone who wasn’t local and told me to text her if I ever needed help finding my way around the Outerbanks. We exchanged numbers and she left in a car of others in a rush.
Bringing me to my very first group of people I met on the island. My new house was in a place called Figure 8 and my next door neighbor was Kiera Carrera. One day while I was moving boxes into my house, I looked back and saw a Kiera on her porch she was in some sort of argument with her parents. I didn’t mean to eavesdrop but their voices were anything but quiet. She was in a fight with her parents as she made her way down the steps. They shouted words that I didn’t understand at the time like “pogues” and “kooks” and “midsummars”.
All I knew was that I had been through what she had and I wanted to tell her it was going to be okay. Although it was none of my business, I waited for her parents to go inside as I placed the box of antiques down and made my way to the curb she sat on. I spoke to her about my parents divorce and I told her that it was okay to feel the way she was feeling. Our exchange led to her inviting me to her friend John Bs house. I don’t know why they added the B in John but I didn’t bother to ask. I met John B, and two other guys at his house. It gave me a close feel to a cabin with a tropic twist if that makes sense. John B was genuine, he told me stories of his father and welcomed me into his home with his arms open. On the other hand JJ was skeptical at first taking a minute to warm up to me because of the place where my home resided. He explained to me how the Kooks were selfish, rich people and the Pogues were the ones always ready for a good time on the island. He was fairly good looking but I shook away that thought because I could feel tension between him and Kiera. He then offered me a drink and told a few jokes that made me ugly laugh. Pope was the last boy I was acquainted with, he struck me as intelligent and determined. He seemed more worried of what I thought of them, telling JJ to calm down at times and asking Kiera questions about me. Overall the group and I had a good time and I left a good enough impression to be invited back.
Which leads me back to where I was headed. Kie invited me to a giant get together, they called it a Kegger which was just a party in Pogue language. I hopped inside my car and made my way to the beach, looking for a spot that others hadn’t found out about yet and parking. Shutting my car door and hitting the locks, I slung my backpack around me and followed the crowd. Which would’ve been the only way I knew where I was going if it wasn’t for the massive bonfire that was radiating smoke. I walked down to the secluded area and around the corner of a building saw hundreds and hundreds of people.
this has to be half of the town.
Quickly my anxiety began to creep up inside of me. As strange as it sounded because I moved all the time, I was very nervous around new people. Taking my shoes off of my newly tanned feet I stepped into the sand. I searched the beach squinting looking for the familiar faces of John B or Kiera but I was out of luck. I excused my way through strangers hoping I would run into one of the four Pogues. Digging my fingers into my hands and tugging at my backpack, I began to grow impatient.
Suddenly interrupting me from my intruding thoughts was a warm substance seeping down my white top. My eyes were met with a tall boy, who’s shoulders were broad and hair was slicked back. He held a bottle of beer in his hand as his blue eyes were set on my top.
“Oh no, I’m so sorry!”
I blurted out, it was my fault he had spilt his drink after all. I wasn’t paying attention to where I was going causing me to ram into the guy.
“I should be the one apologizing, here come with me my sister probably has a extra shirt.”
He then proceeded to grabbing my hand and pulling me through the crowd of guests.
This guy was really hot if I had to admit, his collared polo complimented his body and his hands were filled with veins. Not to mention he had on a ring, A RING! I normally didn’t try to involve myself with boys because of how much I moved around. Having to leave the last boyfriend I had behind was gut wrenching, but… I could make an exception. It had been forever since I had been with any guy and I was craving something a little more than holding hands.
As we pushed past the final few people we stopped around and empty area. The boy looked off into the distance at a girl on top of some sort of wooden post and a blonde guy struggling to get her to come down. In fact, I knew that girl. It was-
“Sarah! Come here!”
I was startled by the loud outburst beside me. Sarah was his sister… That must’ve meant he was Rafe. Dammit.
flashback
“Every Kook is BAD, now repeat after me”
JJ had a very strong opinion about the richer class, I wonder what the reason was. What about Sarah Cameron, she seemed sweet.
“I met this girl named Sarah the other day, she was actually really welcoming.”
“Sarah CAMERON?”
Kiera blurted in sort of a grimace. She didn’t seem to be too fond of her.
“Sarah Cameron is the epitome of a snobby, entitled little brat. She always gets whatever she wants and doesn’t care about anyone other then herself.”
Kiera seemed to share a popular opinion amongst the Pogues based on their reaction to her outburst. They all nodded their heads in unison.
“Don’t even get me started on her brother Rafe! He is even worse, he treats the Pogues like shit and gets away with it every single time because he goes crying to his daddy.”
Her opinions on the two struck me as cruel. I didn’t know the two so clearly I couldn’t just defend them but, I didn’t like the way the Pogues spoke so poorly of the Kooks. It seemed wrong. Especially because when I met Sarah she was anything but a “brat”.
“Just don’t get involved with them. For your own good.”
JJ said, I could tell he was amused with making fun of the Cameron siblings. John B looked at my face and could tell something was off.
“Alright, Alright, I think you guys are started to scare the girl. Let’s go check out the waves.”
end of flashback
Sarah jumped off the pole without any regrets swinging around in what I assumed to be her boyfriends arms and making her way over to the two of us.
“Yes Rafe. What is so important that-“
Her gaze met mine.
“Alexis!”
She pulled me in for a hug quickly, my nose whiffing the smell of alcohol on her. Or on me.
“Hey Sarah”
“What happened!”
She exclaimed looking down at my shirt that was stuck to my skin.
“It was an accident,”
Rafe butted in.
“Rafe.”
She drug out in anger.
“We haven’t even met the girl for more than a second and you already have spilt your drink on her. Typical.”
I looked over at Rafe in pity for a split second but then I remembered this was a sibling thing to do. It was normal for brothers and sisters to argue, I didn’t know much about it because I was an only child.
“Shut up Sarah”
“It was my fault honestly, I wasn’t watching where I was walking.”
I nervously broke the tension. They both looked at me for a split second and then the silence was stopped by Sarah taking her shirt off. I was surprised by the Cameron girls boldness.
“Chill out girl, I’ve got a swimsuit and from the looks of it you don’t plus since Rafe did this too you he can kindly take you to his car so you can change.”
Sarah tossed me the top and ran for the water waving a goodbye with a warm smile. She was gorgeous, and she made me feel good. The Pogues seemed closed minded, and my views on things were beginning to shift since they were no where in sight, even though they said they were going to meet me here. Adding onto my perspective was the fact that Sarah and Rafe were there.
“She’s a handful. I’m Rafe by the way, which you probably gathered.”
His eyes were a little red, he must have been smoking. His voice seemed a little droopy but it was still sexy. My feet followed the direction of his as I held the shirt in my hand.
“Nice to meet you, Rafe. I’m Alexis.”
My voice was a bit shaky but confident. I liked to sound confident when I met others even though I wasn’t. We shortly arrived at his jeep, and he unlocked the doors.
“Can I put this bag down somewhere?”
I said picking the heavy weight off of my shoulder.
“Yeah, here let me see it.”
I rubbed my sore skin as he grabbed the bag and sat it in the trunk.
“Beer in the towels, huh?”
I looked back at him.
“Hey, who said you could be nosy?”
I playfully smiled at him.
“No one, but I was just curious what you were carrying around, I mean for all I know it could’ve been drugs.”
“You probably would’ve been happier with that outcome, huh?”
He laughed. His laugh. Holy shit his laugh. It was so hot.
“Can you grab me a drink?, I need one”
I asked desperately.
“If I can snatch one too then deal”
I nodded at his remark and hopped inside of his car grabbing the drink from his hand. I sat the drink in a cup holder as I took my soaked shirt off. I sat it to the side and then looked at my bra.
“Shit”
It was soaked too, I took it off as well praying it wasn’t getting any colder tonight as I slipped on the yellow tank top Sarah gave me.
I grabbed my drink, took a swig and opened the car door. I looked out and Rafe was already crushing his can sitting on the hood of the car.
“Want another?”
I offered reaching in my bag and extending my hand. He turned his head and looked at me for a few seconds. My hand waiting for release from the beverage but it never came. Then I realized why as I looked down at my shirt. You could see through. Before I looked back up he grabbed the drink clearly as embarrassed as I was.
“Yeah uh sorry”
His hand scratching the back of his neck as he opened the can. I brushed off the exchange and got up on the hood of his car with him looking at the party from afar taking another sip.
“So, you’re new ay?”
Rafe said.
“Yeah, I just moved here a couple of weeks ago.”
He wasn’t making eye contact with me and neither was I. It wasn’t uncomfortable though. The scenery was calm. The stars looked perfect and the sound of the faded party and waves were in perfect harmony.
“Who invited you here?”
“Just some people I met, they told me they would meet me but didn’t follow through.”
“Screw them. You should come hang out with us.”
His invite made me feel warm. I looked over at him taking a sip of the drink, I watched as it gilded down his throat. His adam’s apple bobbing. He was a masterpiece. I must’ve been looking a little too long because he whipped his head around at me. I quickly averted my gaze away embarrassed.
“Yeah I will definitely take you up on that offer, I can’t stand unreliable people.”
We were close. His hand smoothed it way to my knee. Yes please.
“Neither can I, good thing we are reliable. Even got you a new shirt.”
He stared back down as he made this statement clearly looking at my boobs. Quite frankly I was flattered.
“Eyes are up here buddy boy”
I cringed at my own words but being a couple of drinks in at this point I didn’t care.
“I know”
He said. His hand slid a little further up my leg placing on my thigh. Higher. and higher.
“You have a boyfriend?”
He asked, I laughed at this. Hard. My laugh was one of those laughs that sounded so stupid other people would laugh at it. So as I kept laughing he began to laugh as well.
“w-what”
His high was probably making my laugh sound even more strange then it already was.
“Nothing just that question is funny.”
BOOM
Both of us flinched as we looked away from eachother. That was a gun shot. I frantically got up.
“What the fuck, we need to get out of here”
Rafe yelled. I looked at him in a panic.
“What about Sarah!”
I shouted back.
“We will grab her in the car, now get in.”
The Pogues were still down there. I looked at Rafe as he sat in the car and looked down at all the people running away from the scene. I had to make a decision quickly.
The Kooks or The Pogues
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floralguccistyles · 3 years
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nine: aliens, bigfoot, and nerds, oh my!
“Have you been eating, sweetheart? You’ve lost at least ten pounds since the last time I’ve seen you.”
My father rolled his eyes from over my mother’s shoulder as she pulled me into a big hug. Every time I saw my mother, she mentioned how skinny I was getting even though I was sure I had gained about five pounds since the last time I’d seen her. It was usually an excuse to come into my flat and make us a giant dinner, which I would never complain about. Her arms squeezed my shoulders as she released me, pulling back so she could look at my face.
“Pretty as ever, sweetheart.” 
“Eva, can I please hug our daughter hello now?”
I laughed as my mother made a big deal of moving out of the way so my father could hug me. His embrace was familiar, his arms the ones I ran to when the bullying in secondary school got too bad to handle on my own. He had wiped my tears away and said “you’re one of a kind, mija, and they’re jealous of that.” 
“Was the drive okay?” I asked them, pulling away from my father after he planted a quick kiss on my hairline. Their suitcases (the ones they had owned when they came to England) were decorated with vibrant stickers from Cuba. They were worn now, scratched at the corners, but their color had miraculously remained. 
“It was wonderful. It’s been so long since we’ve been to London, and now look at us! We’re here to celebrate our daughter’s book!”
Inviting them to the book release party had been a last minute decision, but I found myself happy that I had. Though I knew they were proud of me, I also knew that they didn’t really understand a lot of the fandom stuff I had discussed in several chapters. They would read it to support me, of that I was sure, but I was uncertain about if they’d actually enjoy it. 
“You probably won’t understand a lot of it, Mum.”
“You don’t know that. Your father and I have been watching that Doctor show...what’s it called, Roberto?”
“I don’t know, Eva. I fall asleep when it’s on.”
“It’s called Doctor Who, Mum,” I snorted out, biting back a bigger laugh. 
“Whatever it’s called, we’ve been watching it. And we were alive when Star Wars came out, you know. I was there for the Darth Vader reveal and everything. Mamá took me to the theater and got me an extra large popcorn.”
I liked hearing little stories like that. It was almost too easy to picture my mum, sitting there in a little theater in Cuba when the true identity of Darth Vader was revealed. My grandmother had probably grasped her chest with her hand and shouted “¡Dios mío!” at the top of her lungs. If I eventually travelled to Cuba, if the movie theater was still there, I decided I would visit it.
The three of us piled into the Uber I had called for us, which wasn’t hard because their suitcases were so small. On the way to my flat, my parents regaled stories about their drive to London and how she was upset my dad wouldn’t let her listen to Dua Lipa on the radio because “that Dua Lipa girl was very talented, Petra.” We made it back to my flat with only three arguments broken out between them.
“You guys are staying in my room and I’m camping out on the couch,” I informed them, helping my mum to carry her suitcase in. “Sorry it’s so cramped. It’s perfect for me, but unfortunately having guests is a little difficult.”
“We could have stayed in a hotel, baby,” My father commented.
“I’m not going to make my parents pay for a hotel room. I can sleep on the couch for one night and survive, Dad.” They had been to my flat before, but I still showed them where the extra towels and soap was in the bathroom. “The party’s at seven tonight, and dinner will be served. I’ve got to go a little earlier, but I’m just a text away if you need anything.”
“My baby,” my mum said, her eyes glistening, “we are so proud of you!”
I found myself enveloped in another tight hug, this time joined by my father. The lump in my throat grew when I thought of their praise. Too often, I had taken their support for granted. “I love you both.”
“We love you, mija.”
A sudden knock on my door had us pulling apart. “Were you expecting anyone, baby?” my mum asked, going to the front foyer and looking out the foggy windows. “It’s a boy, Roberto!”
“What?” 
I moved around my frozen parents to answer the door, swinging it open and greeting Harry Styles’s smiling face with a blank look. I had no idea what Harry was doing here, but he really had very impeccable timing. 
And by impeccable, I meant shit. 
“Morning! I was thinking about grabbing something to eat at a little bistro around here and thought I’d come by and see what you were up to today. Wanna join?”
Speech wouldn’t come. I felt the stares of my parents behind me, still hidden from Harry’s view, and how they would squeal and gush when they found out I was on somewhat good terms with Harry Styles, something they’d been trying to get me to do for years. “Harry—”
“Harry?” My mum’s voice asked loudly from where she was standing. She marched up behind me and swung the door open a little wider so he could clearly see her. “Oh my goodness! Harry Styles! Petra, it’s Harry Styles!”
“I know who he is, Mum,” I whispered in an embarrassed voice.
“Last time I saw you, you were about four feet tall,” My mother cooed, stepping forward. Before Harry could react, she had him in a tight hug, wrapping her arms around his body. “Petra didn’t tell me you were friends again!”
I bit down the urge to argue that we were never friends, but my mother wouldn’t listen. She never had when it had come to my bullies at school. “Just give them a chance to change, Petra,” she had told me when I would bury my face in her shoulder and cry that I didn’t want to go to school.
“Hi, Mrs. Gallego. I didn’t know you guys were coming to town. Sorry for intruding on family day. I was just coming down to this part of town to grab some lunch and wanted to see if Petra could come. No worries, though. I don’t want to take away—”
“Nonsense!” My father cut in, reaching out his hand for Harry to shake. “Nice to see you again, Harry. Feel free to take Petra to lunch. We’re probably going to nap a little before her release party tonight. The drive was long.”
“Release party?” Harry asked, glancing back and forth between my parents and me.
I awkwardly scratched the side of my head. “My, er, book is being released tonight.” 
“What? Petra, that’s amazing!” His smile seemed genuine enough, but all I wanted was to shut the door and rewind the last five minutes. I never would have answered the door in front of my parents if I had known it was going to be Harry on the other side. “If you, um, want to go...it can be a celebratory lunch. And obviously you all are invited, Mr. and Mrs. Gallego.”
“Oh, Harry, we’d love to come, wouldn’t we, Petra?”
My eyes moved between Harry’s cautiously hopeful face and my parents, who were already grabbing my mum’s purse and getting ready to leave. In their eyes, I had already agreed. “Sure,” I said uncomfortably. “That’s fine. Let me just call an Uber for us and we’ll follow behind you.”
“Oh, don’t be silly, Petra. We can call an Uber and you can go with Harry.”
There was no arguing with Eva Gallego when she set her mind to something, so I just nodded. “Okay. Er...I guess that settles that.”
We awkwardly stood around in my foyer until my mum cleared her throat. “Petra, darling, aren’t you going to invite Harry in while we wait for our ride?”
“Right. Come on in, Harry.”
His gaze locked on mine, expression questioning. I knew he felt the tension that was creeping up inside me with having him in the same room as my parents, but I didn’t want to get into it. Not when I knew it would ruin my night. The morning had already started off with self-destructive behavior as I looked back at some of the tweets about my day out with Harry from February. I had never been as aware of my appearance as I was in that moment, scrolling through absolute strangers saying the worst things. I had an extra appointment with Doctor Thorne this week to make up for it.
“How long have you and Petra been hanging out again?” My mum asked as we all sat in my living room. 
“A couple of months. She contacted me in January about being on the show. It was an amazing experience.”
“I just love listening to Petra’s podcast,” my father said happily, reaching over and patting my knee. “I have no clue what she’s talking about half the time, but she sounds damn smart saying it.”
“She’s incredibly smart,” Harry agreed, and I ignored the urge to bang my head on the coffee table. I didn’t want him agreeing with my parents about my intelligence. We weren’t really that good of friends, if I even considered us friends yet. I had admitted to myself that Harry had definitely changed for the better, but that didn’t mean the past hurt went away.
“I almost forgot, mija! Your grandma sent you Materva. She said you wrote her an email about it.”
Normally, I would be jumping for joy. The first and only time my grandmother had visited from Cuba, she had brought Materva with her and it had become my favorite drink. With Harry here, however, I felt uncomfortable and self-conscious. I squirmed a little in my seat.
“That was nice of her. I’ll email her and tell her thank you. Want me to put it in the fridge?”
My father went off to my room to grab the Materva and Harry raised a quizzical eyebrow. “What is Moterva?”
“Materva,” my mum corrected with a smile. “It’s a soda.”
“And it’s delicious. Remind Petra to let you try some later,” my father said, returning with a set of six cans. “She sent us more, but we’re selfish and kept the rest of it at home for us.”
He stocked them in my fridge and pulled out his phone when he heard the small chime. “Our Uber is here. We’ll see you two at the restaurant.”
I made sure they made it into their car okay before I hesitantly pulled open the door of Harry’s. We both got ourselves situated, clicking our seatbelts into place. 
He didn’t start the car.
“I didn’t know your parents would be here,” he said, offering me an apologetic smile. “I could tell it...it made you uncomfortable.”
“I’m just not used to this.” I gestured back and forth between us with my hand. “And my parents...they mean well, but when I was in secondary school and coming home to them crying, they told me to try and make friends with you guys. They didn’t really understand how hard that would have been. They think I should let bygones be bygones and I want to...but I don’t know if I can just yet.”
“I completely understand.” He tapped his fingers against the steering wheel. “Can I ask you something a little personal?”
“I don’t know if I’ll answer.” Honesty seemed to be the best approach with Harry.
“Why do you seem so embarrassed when your Cuban heritage is mentioned around me? When your dad brought out the soda, it looks like you were going to stab yourself with a fork.”
Go back to where you came from, Gallego. Nathan Penrose’s voice filtered through my thoughts. To them, I wasn’t English enough for England. But it was almost worse to feel that I wasn’t Cuban enough for Cuba.
“It’s about what that prick Nathan said when we were younger, right?” he asked softly, his fingers tightening around the steering wheel remembering it. “I so wish I would have punched him in the face.”
“It’s not just Nathan. That’s a big part of it, but it’s not just you I feel uncomfortable talking about it with.”
“Okay. You don’t have to talk about it, but...just know you can, if you ever want to. I’m serious about trying to be friends, Petra.”
The rest of the car ride was spent in silence, with some pop song playing lowly over the speakers. It wasn’t an uncomfortable silence, per se, but it made me wriggle around in my seat and wish I was sitting at the restaurant already. I wasn’t used to silences with Harry not trying to fill the space with his random thoughts. I appreciated that he was letting me just sit and absorb the moments, but it was also unnerving.
We pulled up to the little bistro right after my parents, who had already decided to get a table for us. Harry walked around to the other side of his car and opened the door for me, holding out his hand to help me out. My parents waved us over from their table outside, pulling out our chairs. I was seated between Harry and my mum, across from my father. It meant that I caught the sly looks they gave me whenever Harry was engrossed with his menu.
“What’s good here, Harry?” My mum asked after a couple moments of looking.
“I like their vegan buffalo wings and macaroni.”
“You’re vegan?” I asked in surprise, raising a brow at him.
“No, but I eat plant based meat when I can. And most places make their vegan wings with cauliflower, which hurts my stomach. This place makes them with mushrooms.”
“Petra loves mushrooms. You should try them, sweetheart.”
I set my menu down without really looking at it. “I’m getting a bagel and their cucumber and edamame salad.” Since both of my parents loved cucumbers, I knew I would be sharing at least a few bites with them. It was normal for us to sample each other’s meals. “What are you getting, Mum?”
“Maybe the chicken breast and mashed potato lunch special. Your father, predictable as ever, is getting a burger.”
My dad shrugged. “Don’t fix what isn’t broken.”
The waitress eyed Harry a little longer than necessary when she came to take our orders, but eventually left. I could tell he would be getting asked to take a picture before he left, despite how unprofessional that was. Then I thought about if it had been Hayden Christensen if I had been the waitress and understood what the fuss was about. 
“So, Harry,” my mum said after a long sip of her lemonade, which I knew meant she was going to ask a lot of questions, “what have you been doing now that you’re solo? I ran into your Mum when she was visiting home for a couple of weeks and she showed me one of your music videos. You’re very talented!”
I’d never seen Harry Styles blush, but I noticed a faint twinge of pink on his cheeks. “Thank you, Mrs. Gallego. I’m writing some more music right now, but I’m not sure when the next album will be out.”
“We just love listening to your first album. We listen to your group stuff too,” Mum commented, tapping her nails on her wrist. “Petra has a wonderful singing voice, did you know?”
Before Harry could question the statement, my father and I both snorted. “No, she doesn’t, Eva. No offense, mija.”
“None taken. I sound like a dying animal. Mum, I hate to tell you this, but the last time I sang, you were very intoxicated and would have thought our next door neighbor’s cat was Shakira.”
“Petra’s good at other things, though. She’s awesome on Alien Crossing. And I’m sure her book is going to be fantastic,” Harry supplied helpfully. 
“Has she invited you to the party tonight? I know her other friends are coming. Jeremiah, Veronica, and Melody?”
I shifted in my seat. Harry looked pained, like he didn’t want to say anything that would hurt my mum’s feelings. I hadn’t invited him to the book release party because this book was mine, something untainted by the memories of secondary school. Talking about my nerd stuff on AC was one thing, but publishing them on paper was another. “Mum…” I trailed off.
“He could come with us! Are you going to buy a copy of the book, Harry?” 
“Mum, he’s not going to buy—”
“Yeah, actually. I preordered it on my phone. And I was going to buy a hard copy, as well.”
Harry’s words had my mouth closing in surprise. I blinked over at him, at his secretive little smile when he raised his soda up to his lips and took a sip. “You preordered it?” I whispered, my throat thick with some emotion I couldn’t identify. “You’re not gonna understand it all.”
“Well, I’ll understand the Lord of the Rings bits now. And anything unfamiliar I come across, I’ll just make a note to watch or read it.”
This action felt more significant than anything that had happened in our hesitant friendship thus far. Even though he had introduced me to John Williams and had brought me a plant, this was the thing that felt essential. I felt like the Grinch in that moment, my heart growing a size bigger and allowing room for hesitant optimism to sink in. Maybe Harry Styles and I actually could be friends. 
Which was why when my mum suggested him coming another time, I shyly looked over at him and said, “Of course you can come if you’d like. I’ll text you the details.”
~
My publisher had rented out the Aldgate Library at my college for the release.
It felt weird stepping back into the library, stumbling a little in my black heels when I accidentally grazed a rock on the sidewalk right outside. The last time I had been here, I had my hair in a messy ponytail and was in tears at midnight trying to study for my last finals of my university career. Now, I was publishing a book. It felt surreal.
I smoothed down the skirt of my red dress, trying my best not to chew on my lip. Veronica had meticulously spread some kind of red lip stain on it that was supposed to be long lasting, but I didn’t trust it’s longevity against my teeth nervously biting at it. Plus, I knew pictures would be taken tonight and the last thing I needed was to have lipstick on my teeth. 
“Petra!” My publisher said, walking out of Aldgate in a tailored suit. She was also wearing a little badge that had “Aimee Metcalfe, Dorrance Publishing” printed right underneath a fantastic photo of her. I found myself jealous. My ID photos never came out that great. “What’re you doing standing outside? Come in, you numpty!”
I gave Aimee a quick salute and followed her inside, trying to keep up with her. As familiar as she was walking in heels, it was a new skill set to me entirely. She led me through the front of Aldgate and back into one of the large common area study rooms, which had been transformed for the launch. There was a giant banner hung up on the far left side, with #Aliens #Bigfoot #Nerds printed over it in sparkling letters. In front of the banner was a table decorated with cupcakes and cake pops, each the same color blue as my book cover, which featured a picture of myself that I hated but Aimee had insisted the readers would love. Jeremiah and Zach were shoving their faces with one of the cake pops, while Veronica looked on in disgust. Bailey was chatting with Melody by the photo booth that Aimee had suggested, which when printed, would frame the pictures in the same hashtags the banner provided.
My parents were crying in the corner of the room.
I went to them first, holding out my arms. My mum immediately let out a wail, pulling me into an embrace. “This is supposed to be a happy day, Mum.”
“Oh, I’m so happy for you, sweetheart. You have worked so hard. And you look beautiful.” She pulled back to examine my dress and makeup, pressing her hand to her mouth when she did. “Such a beautiful young woman, inside and out. Oh, how did we get so lucky, Roberto?”
My dad smiled at me. “Proud doesn’t even cover it, mija. Your mum has demanded she be first in the book signing line.”
“Oh, I did not, Roberto!”
“Petra,” Aimee said, interrupting our conversation. She introduced herself to my parents and then led me over to the podium. “You’re going to do the reading, and then Terri and I put together a fun little trivia game about some of the fandoms in the book. Whoever wins that will get a free signed copy. Afterwards, you’re on book signing duty. We’ve got about twelve hundred Sharpies lined up for you. Questions?”
My head was spinning with all the information, but I found myself growing excited. This was something I had put blood, sweat, and tears into. And I was finally getting to share it with the people who meant the most to me. “None so far. I’ll flag you down if any come up.”
“Good. Oh,” she said, reaching into her bag, “keep this close. This is your best friend when you’re up there reading and when you’re signing books.”
She handed me a water bottle with room temperature water, which was apparently better for the vocal cords. Then she was pushing me towards the podium and I hid the water bottle on the hidden shelf on my side. My book was sitting there, my own face staring back at me.
When I looked into the sea of people, I saw my friends giving me encouraging looks and my parents crying happily, my mother now with a tissue from the dessert bar that she pressed underneath her eyes every five seconds. The rest of the people in the room were people who were avid listeners of AC, the ones who sent in messages for me to read. I noticed Daisy Callahan sitting at one of the tables, shooting looks over to Jeremiah and smiling like a smitten school girl. I made a mental note to ask Jeremiah if they were officially together after the reading.
And then, there was Harry Styles.
It looked like he had just come in, dressed in a nice suit in a dark red color. I was so used to seeing him in bright neons when he was dressed up that the muted burgundy almost faded into the background. However, he was still Harry Styles and it was hard for Harry to do anything but stand out. He was fidgeting with his suit jacket, messing around with the collar of it before he looked up and caught my eye.
I wondered what he saw, looking at me standing up on the podium. I knew what my friends and family saw; they saw me finally getting one of my big wishes to come true. But what did Harry Styles, who already got his dream, see? 
I didn’t have time to think about it, because Aimee was gesturing for me to start the reading. She was helping usher people to their seats, and I felt the weight of more than just Harry’s eyes on me.
“Good evening everyone,” I said into the small microphone attached in front of me. “Thank you all for coming. This is the culmination of blood, sweat, tears, and other bodily substances I won’t mention. I can’t wait to share it with you. This reading comes from chapter seven, in which I discuss why Game of Thrones actually became so popular and how I think the last season is going to go, amongst other things.”
Jeremiah let out an embarrassing whooping sound and I rolled my eyes. 
Then, I read.
If I had expected to be embarrassed standing there in front of a crowd, reading the words I had written, I was wrong. Instead of feeling down, like I had so many times before when I discussed the things I loved, I felt powerful. Because yeah, Nathan Penrose could be a racist asshole all he wanted, and his friends could drop all my books in the puddle. But I had done it. I had written my book, I had a kickass podcast that introduced me to my best friends, and I was filled with an uncharacteristic pride.
So I went along with it. It’s what Doctor Thorne would have wanted. But more importantly, it was what I wanted.
Aimee had been a lifesaver with the water, as I found myself finishing up my excerpt and drinking nearly all of it during the applause. “Thank you,” I said after I had capped the bottle and set it back where I had it hidden. “Thank you to Aimee Metcalfe, my knight in shining armor through this process. Thank you to Terri Patterson, who spent night and day editing. Thank you to everyone at Dorrance Publishing who put up with trying to get copyright issues taken care of because I wrote about some of the biggest money shark companies in here,” I paused for the light laughter that trickled through the room. “But most importantly, thank you to my friends and family and everyone who supported me through this. It means the world. I hope you enjoy the rest of the book.”
There was a small table with stacks and stacks of my book. I didn’t think I’d ever seen that many pictures of me in one place before, including my parents’ house. Aimee started up the trivia game, and I heard the first question asked about what the aliens that destroyed New York in the first Avengers movie was called while I took my seat at the table.
“The book is awesome.” I heard from my left. I turned, seeing Harry standing beside the table, leaning against a pillar. “I could tell you love it when you were reading.”
“It’s a little overwhelming to see it all finished,” I said, awkwardly gesturing to the pile of books in front of me. 
“Would you ever want to write fiction?”
I shrugged. “I’m not sure. For now, no. I might change my mind later.” He nodded, fixing his suit jacket again like he had been earlier. “I didn’t expect you to come,” I said after a few moments.
His eyes crinkled and his head tilted to the side, like he was confused. “Why? You invited me and this is important to you. I wouldn’t miss it.”
“It wasn’t hard...with the paps or anything?”
His jaw set and told me everything I needed to know. “I’ve got someone on security here tonight, just in case. I’m not gonna let anything ruin your big night, including paps. There was someone who recognized my car, but I don’t think anyone else is coming.” He unclenched his jaw and looked down at me. A softer look took over his face. “You look gorgeous. That color reminds me of the dress you wore to prom.”
I blinked. “You didn’t talk to me at prom.”
In fact, I had spent most of prom standing in the corner, nursing the lemonade I had gotten myself. Nathan Penrose had spiked it, but not before I had gotten myself a cup. I had saved up all my money for the pretty red spaghetti strap dress, but looking back it was a useless purchase. I didn’t have fun and was home drinking tea and watching Legally Blonde by midnight.
Harry gave me a small smile. “No, but I saw you. I remembered thinking you looked so beautiful and how I was an idiot for how I’d treated you.”
“You did not,” I argued, rolling my eyes at his statement. “You were thinking of your audition and what song you were going to sing. I wasn’t even a blip on your radar.”
He shrugged, bringing his own water up to his lips. “Think what you think. Doesn’t change the fact you looked gorgeous— then and now.”
I fiddled with one of the books in front of me. I didn’t know how to take his compliment. It was something I’d always been bad at, but especially when it came to Harry. Part of me wanted so badly to believe he was telling the truth; he had seen me at prom and thought I looked pretty and was looking at me now and seeing the same thing. The other part of me was hardened and cold, telling myself not to fall for it.
In the end I just decided to ignore his comment. If I didn’t acknowledge it, then I didn’t have to dissect my feelings on it.
“I’ve got to take off. I’m sorry I can’t stay long. I’m flying out to Los Angeles tonight for some meetings. But I wanted to be here.” He held up one of my books and set it in front of me. “Last time I asked, you said you wouldn’t sign it.”
“Wipe that cheeky grin off your face. Of course I’ll sign it.” He slipped a fifty pound note onto the table (more than double what he actually had to pay for the book) and opened up the title page.
The blank page stared at me. There were so many things I could write. Aimee advised me just to sign my name, but that felt too impersonal for Harry. Uncapping the pen, I held down the page with my other hand to keep it steady.
Live long and prosper, my young padawan.
Petra Gallego
He grinned when I handed it back to him. “I’m reading this on my flight to LA.”
“Might put you to sleep.”
“I don’t think it could,” he argued, tucking it under his arm. “Think I could...um...text you while I’m there?”
“I can’t control what you do or don’t do, Harry.”
“Yeah, but I wanted to give you the choice.”
The choice to talk to him. It was something I didn’t have in secondary school, but I realized a small part of me acknowledged that it was something I didn’t have now, either. There was something in me that wanted to see where this friendship with Harry went and if we could make it work.
“Yeah, Harry. You can text me when you’re in LA.”
Which was how I woke up the next morning, with a message reading: Made it to LA. Didn’t stop reading once. And despite what you may think, I didn’t fall asleep either.
~
A/N: Here is the next installment of AC! I hope you guys liked reading as much as I loved writing. I’m just so happy for Petra!
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keytomythoughts · 3 years
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Perfection Imperfections | Chapter 1
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Chapter Index 
»»—————————————- 
Finally, summer break. It’s been a while since I was able to go home. Having to attend high school rather far from my home in Seoul, I never thought that I’d adjust to the new environment. Fortunately, I wasn’t entirely alone, since I stayed with my aunt for the four years of my high school life. School wasn’t so bad, but the homesickness is what killed it for me. Even though it was my parents' idea to send me a rather vast distance—me not being too excited about it, but I knew I wouldn’t get my way in the end—there was some good that came from it. The two only good things, actually. 
I glance outside the train window, the buildings of Busan zooming past me. Sure, it may not be my home, but I won’t lie. I’m really going to miss this place. My phone suddenly vibrates in my lap, glancing down to see a text from my group chat, smiling as I respond.
(Binnie)
R u still on the train?
                                                               Yeah have been for the past like 30 mins
(Eunuwu) 
Going back to ur parents? Or r u moving out?
                                                                                                                      Funny
                                                                        Yk I can’t move out, at least not on                                                                            my own. My parents won’t allow it
(Binnie)
:/
What about Jaehyun?
                                                                            Idk, they rlly dc what he does tbh
                                                                       They’re just hell-bent on me getting                                                                                    into the top schools and shit
(Eunuwu)
Damn, rough
                                                                                                                        Mhm
(Binnie)
Try talking to them, u never know
They might change their minds?
                                                                 Nah, I already know how it’s gonna end
                                                                         Me crying and stuffing myself with                                                                           pints of ice cream
(Eunuwu)
Doesn't sound so bad
(Binnie)
¬_¬
(Eunuwu)
Except for the crying part ofc
But c’mon it cant really be THAT bad
I’ve been over plenty of times, they seem nice
(Binnie)
U’ve been to her house??
                                                                         Yeah him and oppa are friends too
(Binnie)
Righttt forgot lol
                                                                  And that’s bc you were there dumbass                                                                    and half of the time ur either in oppa’s                                                                    room or out somewhere
                                                                  Interaction with my parents = minimal
(Binnie)
That sounds awful ngl :( sorry Hyuna
But hey we should all hang soon!
(Eunuwu)
I’ll be in Seoul for the summer too so y not?
                                                                                                           I miss y’all :’(
                                                                   Ok I should be there around like 5 ish                                                                     so I’ll text then
(Binnie)
Aww I miss u toooo 
(Eunuwu)
*puke*
                                                                                           Shut up, ur just jealous
(Eunuwu)
Me? Jealous?? Of what, ur face?
Yea no thx, Ive got a great face already
And personality 0:)
                                                                               Gr8, explains why ur still single
(Binnie)
LOLL
She got u there bro
(Eunuwu)
Shut up
Ur talking as if u’ve got a gf
Idiot
(Binnie)
At least I didnt reject them as coldly as u did lol 
                                                                                             See? My point exactly
                                                                               Your fAcE scared off every girl                                                                                   in sight bc of tht pErSoNaLiTy
                                                                           I almost feel bad for them, u little                                                                             heart breaker
(Binnie)
He made a couple of em cry I heard
                                                                                                                     Rlly?!?
                                                                                                                         YAH
                                                                                                               U MORON
(Eunuwu)
Bin wtf
(Binnie)
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
                                                                                    U JERK HOW COULD U??
                                                                                              Those poor girls omg
                                                                               Im so kicking ur ass when I c u
(Binnie)
Me 2
(Eunuwu)
Wtf?? Y???
(Binnie)
No reason lol, just feel like it
                                                                                         And this is why ily Binnie
(Binnie)
:D <3
(Eunuwu)
GROSS
                                                                                                        Can it u demon
                                                                                                         Read 4:02 PM
I snort, turning off my phone and placing it back down on my lap as I go back to staring outside my left-hand window again. Meet Cha Eunwoo and Moon Bin, my two best friends. The only reason I got through high school how I did without major setbacks. Sure, there was the occasional homesickness and all, but had I not met these two, I probably wouldn’t have even attended and graduated. 
Being so far away from the place I grew up never really suited me, and they saw it right away from day one how lonely and upset I looked. I didn't seem to fit in, especially since I skipped a grade and was placed in classes that were very advanced for me. Not that I minded the vigor, but it was hard for me to socialize, let alone make friends. 
That’s when I met them. Freshman year in homeroom before my first literature class. Moon Bin, a boy with parted, coppery-golden hair accompanied by his shy, puppy-eye smile and sweet nature, offered me an empty seat next to him in class, even going as far as to share his textbook and asking how I found the school. No doubt, I was embarrassed and immensely shy, stuttering over my words and failing to meet his soft gaze. However, he didn’t make fun of me nor find me odd. All he did was smile, laughing lightly at my slightly flustered state. He stuck his hand out, introducing himself (most people just call him Moonbin or Bin) with that smile of his, thus the start of our new friendship. Since then, he became someone who always knew how to cheer me up when I was feeling down. No moment was ever dull with him by my side. 
Eunwoo, the tall, brooding black-haired and charismatic student almost everyone knew (and crushed on) of, was usually with Moonbin when we hung out together, but he normally kept to himself. Though quiet and sometimes reserved with his intimidating looks, it didn’t take long for him to break the ice with us, the three of us becoming close friends. Promising to stay like this until we went to college and beyond. Regardless if we all diverge and tread different paths, we would always converge and come back to one another. 
Four years flew by and graduation was upon us. Just like that, the two became like family to me, my ride-or-die duo. The two who were able to turn my world upside down, finding solace in a time where I thought it was nearly impossible for me to.  
My thoughts are interrupted by my “Move” ringtone—yes, I’m a huge Lee Taemin fan—looking down at my phone again to see it’s my brother calling. I sigh, picking up the call.
“What?” 
He gasps dramatically. “Is that any way to address your loving older brother after being away for so long?”
I snort, shaking my head. “Loving my ass, oppa. How are mom and dad?”
“They’re fine, living. Didn’t you tell them you’re coming home?”
“Nope, I don’t even text them that often. You already know this..”
He sighs. “Yeah, I figured.” 
There’s a slight pause on his end, but he continues. “You took the three-thirty train, right? So you’ll be here around five or so?”
“Yeah, give or take.” 
I look out the window again to see the endless stretch of greenery and flowing springs, sometimes even children playing in the fields. I grin mischievously, deciding to poke fun at my brother when he doesn’t respond right away. 
“What, you miss me?”
He makes a sound similar to throwing up. “As if. I got so used to the peace and quiet. I’m not ready for it to go away.” 
“Yah!” I realize that I had yelled a bit too loudly and eyes were now trained on me, and I bow my head in apology. I lower my voice, “You’re such an asshole.”
“Oh, I know, but you still love me anyway.”
“Shut up.”
I can hear his laugh resonate through the phone and a smile unknowingly tugs at my lips. I wouldn’t say it out loud, but it’s true. When I lived with my aunt in Busan for the duration of high school, I missed Jaehyun a lot. Though two years older than me, he didn’t seem to alienate me the way my parents do. While I hate the notion that they spoil Jaehyun endlessly and let him do as he wishes, I won’t lie and say that he was a prick about it. He could’ve been, but he never came off as selfish. I’m really close with my brother, shocking as it may be. Sibling relationships are like that—one minute you want to strangle them with their intestines and the next you’re singing duets together. Crazy, but that’s how it is for us. My parents don’t really pay me any attention, so Jaehyun decides to do that instead. Not complaining though. I’d rather take his pranking and teasing over my parents’ demands and reprimands any day.
“Aight, I’m heading out for a bit. Text me when you arrive.”
I smile again. “Will do, but make sure to get me food!”
“Let me think…” He hums, and I can practically sense the smirk on his end. “Nope. Get your own.”
“Oppa!”
Jaehyun laughs. “See you in a bit, Hyuna. Get here safely. Bye!”   
He hangs up the call before I get a chance to retort, and I scoff. Typical of my brother. He knows how much I enjoy street food, and every time he goes out, it’s almost certain that most of the time he stops somewhere to eat. Did he ever bring food back? Sure, but by the time I’d get to it, most of it was gone anyways. That only lasted a little while before I had gone upstate anyways, so he had more food for himself, I guess.
As the train barrels down the tracks, I feel my heart racing in excitement, but there’s also a slight ounce of dread. I really don’t know why. I want to believe it’s because I’ve been away for too long, but part of me knows it’s the fact that I’ll have to face my parents again. Knowing that I only have two months to decide where I wanted to go and what I wanted to do, I know the bitter truth is that those decisions won’t be left up to me. Last time, I was sent to Busan.
God knows where I’d be sent to now.
***
“Final destination of the KTX Busan-Seoul train at Seoul Station is approaching and will arrive at 05:30 PM. The doors to alight are on the right hand side. All passengers are requested to dismount the train upon arrival. Thank you.” 
That’s my stop.
Gathering my bag and hand luggage, I patiently wait for the train to pull up at the station. Seeing the familiar shops and buildings around me makes my legs bounce up and down in both excitement and anticipation. 
Four long years away from Seoul...
Before getting off, I quickly text the group chat and then my brother, letting them all know that I’ve reached safely. Side-stepping the other passengers exiting the subway doors, I carefully land onto the platform with my luggage in tow. I breathe in the air around as I stretch my arms up into the sky, the grin widening on my face.
It sure as hell feels good to be back home.
I try my best to maneuver through the crowds, but it doesn’t stop the rush of people knocking into me. At times like these, I curse my genetics for favoring my older brother instead of me in terms of height. Eventually, I come to a clearing and when my eyes glance upwards, I spot a rather familiar dark brown-haired six-foot-tall male amongst the small crowd waving me over.
“Hyuna, over here!”
I gasp, my eyes widening. “Oppa!”
He smiles as I begin walking towards him, my feet hurriedly moving across the concrete. The distance between us shortens and I abandon my luggage as he opens his arms wide. 
Only for me to sucker punch him in the stomach.
He yelps in pain, grimacing as he holds his abdomen. “Shit, that hurt. What has Aunt Sua been feeding you up there? Rocks?”
I smack his shoulder, my blood slightly boiling in anger. “Yah, why didn’t you tell me you were coming?! Do you know how much money I blew off for the bus fare?”
He straightens his back before going to rub his shoulder, then behind his neck.
“Fine, fine. My bad. I wanted to surprise you, but I guess that didn’t work, did it?” 
I cross my arms over my chest, huffing in annoyance. He sighs, nodding.
“Okay, okay, I’ll compensate you. Dinner’s on me.”
At this I grin, blinking excitedly. I grab onto his arm and shake it vigorously. “Really? You mean it? You’re the best, oppa!” 
“Look at this brat..” he taunts, shaking his head. In a flash, he headlocks me and rubs the top of my head harshly with his knuckles, upsetting the neatly-tied auburn ponytail. 
“Yah! Quit it!” I smack his arms and flail in protest, but he chuckles, saying this is what I get for cunningly finding a way to exploit him the minute I stepped back into Seoul. 
What can I say? It’s a talent. 
He lets go eventually, and I try to smooth down my already-tangled hair. I grumble incoherently but Jaehyun pulls me into his embrace, wrapping his arms around me. His free hand gently pats the side of my head in comfort.
“Welcome home, sis.”
I stand there stiff for a second before hugging back. He squeezes me tighter and I find myself smiling into his shoulder. 
“Good to be back,” I whisper. 
We stand like that for a moment before he pats my back a couple of times, us pulling away from each other soon after. He reaches behind me to grab my hand luggage as he shoulders my bag. I tell him that I can carry them just fine, but he starts walking away from the platform to the parking lot. I call out after him as I run to catch up, and I can see the corners of his mouth twitch. Jaehyun leads me to his car, a sleek matte-silver convertible Mustang. My mouth drops open in shock at its stunning beauty, my body forcing itself to remain composed for the sake of avoiding public self-embarrassment. 
He throws my luggage in the back seat before he turns to me, smirking at my expression. “You like it?”
“Shit, do I like it? I love it!” I run my fingers over its metallic surface, the silver exterior gleaming in the evening glow. Grinning, I stare up at my brother who catches my gaze as I stand next to the driver’s seat, my fingers already curled on the handle.
“Can I—”
“No.”
“Please—”
“Nope.”
I pout as I pull my hand away and step to the side. Jaehyun chuckles, rubbing my head playfully before getting into the driver’s seat and starting the car. The engine purrs to life as my brother pulls out his shades and wears them. He looks at me and cocks his head to the passenger seat. 
“Don’t just stand there. Get in.”
Smiling, I quickly make my way over to the other side and slip into the passenger seat. I barely have time to buckle in before Jaehyun speeds off. I scream in fright, but he laughs heartily, telling me to let loose.
With the wind harshly whipping around us, I close my eyes and tilt my head upwards, absorbing the remnants of my childhood in a place I’ll always call home. A place where my heart always feels at ease.
My name is Jung Hyuna. I’m eighteen years old, and this is my story.
Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 |  
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it-sy-bit-sy · 3 years
Text
The ending of Attack on Titan: a shallow analysis
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(I don't think I should have to put a spoilers alert on a blog about the ENDING OF AOT, but in general if you mind being spoiled on a series, I advise you to refrain from attending discussions about the body of work until you've finished it in its entirety/come up to speed on the current chapter/episode. Screw hype dude, do you like being hurt? Also for the TLDR, it’s that Attack on Titan explores the cycle of hatred (Eren’s journey) AND love which is why Mikasa and Ymir become relevant at the end of the story.)
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
PREFACE
Since the newly added panels of AOT’s ending have been likened by some to the ending of Naruto, I'd like to say that Naruto's end truly hurt me; the way it flows into Boruto is so contrived it burns. A story that's always centered around powerful ninja bloodlines fighting political wars suddenly introduced aliens that harvest planets for energy as the super antagonist, and additionally they're the source of all our characters' powers as well as the jinchuriki and tailed beasts themselves. Then when you look at the plot of Boruto which heavily relies on the Otsutsuki clan as an antagonistic force, their whole existence feels like the transition from Dragon Ball straight into the first DBZ arc with Goku learning he’s really part of an alien race that was meant to destroy Earth.
I didn't detect so forced a role in the ending of AOT, but it's absolutely plausible to speculate that the alternate ending was influenced for this reason, as we know Attack on Titan wasn't produced through Isayama's involvement alone. Certain compromises are made when operating as a team, though it would be wonderful if the original intent of authors were more absolute in the world of production than they are known to be.
And as much as I don't enjoy half-hearted continuations of series for a royalty check, I ALMOST can't blame them for doing it...it creates (many) happy fans, more jobs, and Isayama gets his royalty check. The rest of us suffer but hey, artists need money I guess... 🥀 Moving on. -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
#1. Eren's development as a character
I never saw Eren's goal steered in the direction of breaking the cycle of revenge or hatred. He was acting wholly in his own interests. He's intensely selfish, doesn't want to change his views, and exists in the story to further the cycle itself. According to me, Chapters 129 and 131 perfectly explain his motivations for the rumbling.
Now before I go on, I'd like to bring a particular scene to mind. I do remember him saying this once (to Historia who had just told him killing the rest of the world is unjustifiable and wrong):
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Yes, he said that, but I don't think that is what he ever intended the rumbling to be used for.
After he stated that 80% of humanity was wiped out so Paradis will be safe for the time being, he neglected to answer Armin's questions in 139: "Did you really need to go that far? Are you sure you did all of this for our sakes?" We may also consider the thoughts he chose NOT to share in chapter 131:
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That combined with this excerpt from 129 is pretty much all there is to Eren's convictions.
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Those are the same words he said in Chapter 2 after his mother died.
So despite his brief period of self-loathing when considering 1) the countless lives in survey corps sacrificed for his sake, 2) being confronted with his and his father's involvement in the Reiss family, 3) everything he learned about his enemy--that all titans are formerly human, that the titan shifters were just children deceived by their world--he even admits to Reiner during Tyburn's speech (Chapter 100) that they are indeed in the same boat--and on top of that, admitting that the rumbling will do nothing to fix the course of history, he settled with the same conviction he held the moment he decided to do something to change the world.
Again, here's his words from 139 showing us just how angry a boi Eren was.
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This was Eren Jaeger...he didn't even really know what he was doing.
As a human being, Eren was very much in the cycle of revenge as much as everyone else was. His course of action never deviated too far from that path. He knew better, but he lashed out at the world to protect the few people he cared about anyway. He took freedom away from the ones who threatened him. He was a mass murderer, and so were the other soldiers in this series fighting for their own reasons, since titans were people. Survey corps were always slaughtering these people whom they saw as monsters. Marley viewed Eldians as monstrously and with as much hatred as Eldians viewed the titans. Eren did not try to justify his actions to everyone. He simply stopped seeing the value of life in others not important to him, as humans often do.
So what did he sacrifice 80% of humanity for? From 129 again:
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Them meaning his immediate friends.
No, he didn't care about their children's children and beyond because there's no way to control what happens when you're gone from this world. It wasn't his problem. Eren had 4 years at most left to live, and he wanted to do what he could to ensure his friends were happy before he left.
And as jarring as it was to see Eren become undone in the last chapter, I didn't find it completely out of character, because for one he was talking to his closest friend moments before his own death, and secondly, Eren was just a stupid human like the rest of the people in this series. Obviously, most people just want a normal life that they can spend with people whom they love. Eren was the same way, but was denied that future (and happened to be able to do something about it). Very selfish goals, but those chosen few were his world. Along with a general distaste for humanity, that's how I understand his character motivations.
*Which is to say in relation to the extra pages, Ymir's curse returning a generation or two after the events of AOT doesn't entirely void his actions. I’m assuming the power of Ymir apparently exists as a force of nature on this version of Earth period, so I suppose this points us to an endless cycle of humans eventually finding the power and using it as they see fit *
#2 Why is Romance Relevant to Attack on Titan?
I wasn't expecting a romance factor to be relevant at the end of the story, however considering that Mikasa's affection for Eren WAS her most prominent personality trait as a character, then the events that followed, I was forced to look back to a few moments in the series that could lend light to why, in the end, a romantic subplot ended the curse of Ymir. My conclusions are as follows:
1. Quite literally, the cycle of hatred never ends. Humans will always have a reason to be unkind to one another. We are animals after all; this trait cannot be reasoned through with logic, bred out, or defeated. We are a self-aware species (Eren's even aware of his own hypocrisy in Chapter 131). There will always arise those who take what they want for themselves because they decide in the end they don't care about others as much as they care about their own interests.
2. To make this second point, I'm stealing these words out of a certain machine lifeform's mouth, but bear with me here:
"But the humans...? Now THEY are interesting. Because they are an enigma! They killed uncountable numbers of their own kind, yet loved in equal measure! It's fascinating, don't you think? What could possibly drive such behavior? We have dedicated ourselves to unraveling this riddle of humanity..."
--Adam from NieR:Automata
AOT uses Eren and Mikasa as a case study of humanity. Humans hate and love in equal measure.
In Ch. 129, Zeke's piece here foreshadows the significance of those two for the story, I guess?
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Now everyone reading this series as well as the characters in it had noticed how much fondness Mikasa always had for Eren, and how aloof he always was towards her in return...that's something for them to work out.
Despite never really reciprocating Mikasa's feelings, Eren told Armin at the end of the series that yes, he enjoyed receiving her attention; he would have liked to live a happy life with her. So, Mikasa just liked Eren, Eren liked her... And similar to Mikasa, Ymir just liked King Fritz. It doesn't matter whether we think these feelings were sound or not; they did what they wanted with themselves. I suppose that explains the reason she was a mega simp for Eren in the whole story. Yes, this turn in the story reads like a different plot now, not one about war and killing monsters, but I'm pleasantly surprised that this trait taken as a flaw of Mikasa’s actually served as a necessary condition to end the conflict of the titans.
Eren wouldn't let go of his hatred of the world for his own satisfaction, Ymir wouldn't let go of her love of King Fritz for her own satisfaction, and Mikasa is the only one who decided to let go of her convictions in the interest of someone other than herself. That's what moved the curse.
I think Isayama used the characters of Ymir and Mikasa to demonstrate that while there is a cycle of hatred and revenge running rampant in humanity, the cycle of love doesn't stop either.
In closing, and I truly apologize for such a lengthy post; I hope I didn’t reiterate my point too often here...I didn't think about any of this until I heard so many readers upset with the way AOT ended. I'm not personally left with any disappointment in where the story went. I didn't know where it was going to go in the first place, and I think it could have been much worse for us in different hands. 
*shrugs*
AOT is a story about the nature of humanity.
*And in regards to Jean, if that is supposed to be him with Mikasa in the new panels, all I can say is dude likes his girl. He was a simp for her and she was a simp for Eren, but the fact that they shared their lives together means a lot even if Eren was never completely buried in her heart. He meant a lot to her man, idk...
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siderealscribblings · 4 years
Text
Zelda was silent as they rode to Hateno, but her fingers never strayed from the patch of skin exposed between the hem of his shirt and his buckler.
The few times they had to pull away to tend to their needs, Link could sense the anxiety and unease wriggling just beneath the surface of Zelda's troubled expression. It was almost as clear as the relief she felt when they came back together and she could invent a new excuse to put her hands on his arm, his shirt, his belt-buckle.
If he was confused, Link wasn’t complaining.
ao3
They rode into the darkened streets of Link’s second home with Zelda’s hands wrapped around his waist for warmth. The threadbare white garment she wore was barely enough to keep the autumn chill out and even under his cloak, he could feel her quivering against his back. Her hand lingered on his as he tugged her down from the horse’s back, neither of them seemingly willing to break the link between them. Exhaustion hung heavy on their bones as Link nudged the door open, tugging the weary princess into his little cottage.
Zelda sat swaddled in a thick Rito blanket as Link warmed the house up, igniting a flaming sword and lighting the hearth. As shadows and light filled the room, her eyes fell on a collection of weapons that adorned the wall, trophies from battles she had only the faintest inkling of while holding Ganon back.
Her eyes lingered on the single bed in the upper corner of the loft, swallowing heavily as Link tugged some spare blankets out of the chest under the stairs. “You should have the bed tonight.”
Link could say more with a look than most people did with a speech, a single eyebrow raised and the corner of his lip turned up as though the idea was somehow funny.
“I’ll not argue with you,” Zelda chided playfully. “Or displace my host from his own bed; a poor guest that would make me.”
Link shook his head, letting out a small huff as she tugged the blankets from his arms. It amazed her how the rough, scratchy blanket sent a shudder running through her body, the texture feeling alien against new fingertips. She wasn’t sure if the body that she had was the same one that she sacrificed to seal Ganon, but it felt new in uncomfortable ways; like it didn’t know how to process the act of feeling quite yet.
Everything felt too keen; the heat from the hearthfire behind her prickled her skin. The course blanket rubbed awkwardly between her fingers. Her bare feet gripped the smooth wood, tensing and relaxing as she got used to the cool surface.
And then there was Link.
His fingers brushing the back of her bare arm set off a tingle that raced up her arm and she almost instinctively drew closer to him, leaning against his sturdy frame with a soft sigh. It was grounding the way he touched her; her link ( her Link) to a world that felt strange and alien to her after viewing it from afar for so long.
Link seemed to realize that he was lingering longer than he usually was, and he pulled back to set about locking the house away for the night. She fought the urge to whine as he left, fidgeting in the strange little house as traitorous thoughts bubbled up inside her mind.
This isn’t real, her mind told her. This is a scheme by the Calamity to weaken your resolve. None of this is happening; you’re still trapped, you’re still-
Breathing through her nose, Zelda fumbled for something to grab on to, steadying herself on the dresser as she saw a familiar shade of blue cloth poking out of the top drawer. Heart thumping, she reached out for the fabric, feeling the soft cotton roll between her fingers and diverting her disquieted mind to the way it felt in her hands. Soft...warm... Link’s…
The threadbare clothing she had worn for a century was on the floor in a heap by the time Zelda knew what she was doing, the short-sleeved tunic falling over her head and landing mid-thigh. The weight of it seemed to calm her as she breathed in the smell of it, relishing the faint remnants of Link’s soap she could smell in the cloth.
This is real, Zelda argued with herself. I am safe...I am alive...I am here with Link…
She insistently repeated the mantra to herself, oblivious to the fact that Link was standing in the staircase, hand resting on the banister as though the sight of her wrapped in his clothing had upset his balance. There might have been a time where Zelda would have been mortified at being discovered like this, her admiration for Link on shameless display in front of him. But her pride and her ego had been bludgeoned into dust by decades of mental conflict, replaced only by want, want, want.
“Actually...might I ask something of you?” Zelda asked, voice scarcely more than a murmur as she turned to face Link. “I just...well, it’s rather selfish of me but...might I impose on you to lie with me tonight?”
Link’s piercing blue eyes landed on hers; if she lived a hundred more years, she wanted to live with his eyes on her. She wanted to wear his attention like a crown, hold on to it like a shield, hide in it like a cloak until she felt safe and more like herself again. The fantasy of Link's clear, beautifully blue eyes had sustained her in the moments between skirmishes with Ganon, and now that she could see them in person again, she never wanted to look away.
“I...I think part of me thinks this is all just a cruel prank,” Zelda laughed somewhat bitterly. “The Calamity would...show me things that weren’t true to try and break my resolve…but he could never replicate touch. Or smell...or taste.”
Zelda ran her tongue over her lips, trying to piece together what she was asking for. “It helps if I have something to ground me in reality…” Zelda said, fidgeting a little uncomfortably as Link’s stunned silence seemed to stretch on. “Sorry...I’m overstepping my boundaries, aren’t I?”
Link blinked, shaking her head before attempting to sign something a few times.
<Tell me what you need,> Link finally managed to get out, throat bobbing as Zelda felt warm relief flood her. Of course he would help her; as much as she didn’t want to take his devotion for granted, he had never given her reason to doubt that he would always provide the things she required.
I would do the same, Zelda thought with a familiar ache in her chest. Goddess, let me give you my world in exchange for yours.
Biting her lip, Zelda settled down on the edge of the bed, tugging her makeshift skirt down as she lay back against the Rito down. Link busied himself snuffing out the lights as she crawled under the quilt, a shiver running through her body as her bare legs grazed what must have been silk from the Gerudo desert. The soft, swaddling cloth encompassed her as she felt Link’s weight sink onto the mattress next to her, turning to watch him undo his boots and kick his socks off. As he leaned forward, a patch of bare skin exposed a thin, ropey scar that Zelda could scarcely remember from before the Calamity.
Her fingers were running along it before she could stop herself, causing Link to tense as he looked back at her. “What happened here?” Zelda asked, voice distant and curious as her fingertips traced the bumpy edges of the scar.
<Moblin,> Link signed awkwardly over his shoulder, biting his lip as Zelda’s hand rode higher and higher up his back, lifting his shirt as she went.
"Here?" Zelda asked, tracing a long scar that ran from his right shoulder to his hip.
<Lynel sword,> Link replied with a wince as though the memory itself still pained him. They had suffered in different ways; Link’s suffering had been etched on his skin in bruises, scars, and cuts that still seemed to be patching themselves together. More than ever she wished she had Mipha’s knack for healing so she could erase the memories of his wounds.
Link tugged his shirt off as Zelda’s fingers ran around his sides, pressing against a bump on his hip.
“Arrow?” Zelda asked, earning a nod from Link as the feeling of his warm skin under her fingertips sent ripples running through her body. Crawling up onto her knees, she wrapped her arms around him, laying her head on his shoulder and pressing herself tightly into his back.
This is real, Zelda reminded herself, feeling him shift a little as he kicked his muddy trousers off. He’s here...I’m with him...it’s going to be okay...it's going to be okay...it's going to be okay...  
Turning around, Link shifted under the covers with her, head resting on the down pillow with a weary sigh as she wriggled up next to him, head resting on his chest like a pillow as her legs threaded through his. After a moment’s hesitation, his hand came to rest on the small of her back, his free arm pulling her into a long, long overdue hug.
And then they were clinging on to one another like letting go meant tumbling back into the nightmare they had just escaped. And then her tears were rolling down his bare chest while warm droplets of water rolled through her hair. And then Hyrule disappeared, the entire universe beginning and ending where her skin brushed against his; the only real thing she knew for sure after so many years of confusion.
In the dark, his fingers traced letters into the small of her back, words flowing from his fingertips into her body without sound. <I...am...proud...of...you…>
A soft sob bubbled up from Zelda’s throat as she nuzzled her nose into the nape of his neck. “Goddess...I’m so proud of you too...so very very proud of you…you did so beautifully, my dear…”
He seemed to uncoil a little at this; as though her words had lifted some terrible burden he had been shouldering longer than he knew he was carrying it. <Thanks...to...you.>
Zelda sniffled at this, chest swelling with so much tender affection that she worried she might burst into a shower of confetti. There was more that she wanted to tell him; so many beautiful and awful things she wanted him to know. She wanted to tell him how she had stared down the Calamity as he hurled everything in his power at her, how her love for her people and her hero had been a shield for her to hide behind. Zelda wanted Link to know that she wanted all of him in her life; wanted to devour him with hungry kisses until the taste of his mouth was burned into hers.
But she was tired and sad and so terribly terribly happy that all she could do was hold him, fingers running along his scars as she drifted off into the first peaceful sleep she could remember.
There would be time for love and everything else in the morning.
111 notes · View notes
wissbby · 4 years
Text
Forever and always - Oikawa Tōru
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⤙ Summary: you seem to be the only person that gets Oikawa back to earth once he feels like he has lost himself again. ⊹ Genre: fluff ⊹ Word count: 1176     ⊹ Warnings: none, really ⤙ Author’s note: this imagine is dedicated to @seijoh-loving-hours​. I hope this is fluffy enough for now. I just need to get out of this “angst-writing-drive”. Also, big thanks to @dreamykou​ for sharing her mind. Thank you, bby xx
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You were currently sat on your boyfriend's lap, foreheads pressed against each other.
Friday had finally arrived. A week full of training, school and chores seemed to catch up with your lover. The colourful colours like red, orange and pink had left his face and evaporated into the open sky, nothing but a pale face left behind with eyes as empty as a train at four in the morning.
When you spotted him walking out of his last class of the week, you ran up to him to intertwine your fingers and sprint your way out of the building that seemed to impact his mental health a tad bit more than usual.
Once outside, you noticed how small drops of water got cried out by gloomy, grey clouds above of your heads. Giggling, you pulled him along to run towards your small, yet cosy, apartment.
Jumping a centimetre or five up into the sky to land in a puddle of freshly cried out tears from the clouds, seemed the best way to enlighten the gloomy mood that had wrapped its arms around the slim body of your boyfriend.
And there it was, a weakly, cracked smile.
But a smile, nonetheless.
So you kept jumping into puddles when you saw them lifelessly laying along the empty, wettened roads. Every time you did so, you made sure to capture the small smiles that didn't seem to reach his eyes.
It seemed to take a little longer than usual, but you had finally arrived at your apartment. With a playful smile engraved into your lips, you twisted the doorknob and opened the rectangular piece of wood. Shoving your boyfriend inside and pushing him down the couch -after forcing him to take off his shoes- were the two actions before you left to step into your kitchen.
You slid the knife that you had wrapped your fingers around into various fruits you knew would boost his mood and energy. The taste of fruit always refreshed the pretty setter, always leaving him with a satisfied grin with a following "Thank you.".
When you placed the fruits on top of their plates, you finally heard the alarm of your microwave ringing through your ears. Taking out the hot mugs and putting them on a tray along with the fruit, was your last activity to finally leave the kitchen.
"I cut up some fruit," you announced, handing him his plate and placing the hot mug in front of him on top of the small, wooden table. "And made you some chocolate milk since you look like you're feeling under the weather, today."
You barely caught on his mumbled "thank you" as you took a seat beside him. In moments like these, you knew how he could get; he would keep his distance, not wanting to pull you into the same mood as he was currently at.
In that perspective, Oikawa was the most selfish person on earth. He didn't see a reason to share his pain, stress or well-being.
You simply didn't deserve that, in his eyes.
Complete silence seemed to drown the two of you. There was no denying in the fact that it was a bit awkward, but nothing unbearable.
Once Oikawa finished his fruits, he reached out for the white mug with an outlined alien on it. Placing his lips on the edge and let the warm liquid trail down his throat.
With a content sigh, he left the mug alone and leaned back into the couch, eyelids covering his eyes.
"I'm sorry, Y/n," he breathed out, a thin, shimmering layer of tears just blocked by his eyelashes. His face twitched, trying to hold his tears back in your presence taking over his will to just let go and let himself go.
He just wanted to release his emotions.
“Let go, Tōru,” you stimulated, catching a glimpse of his twitching face and shining tears. Your body unconsciously leant in, fingers brushing his hair out of his eyes. To Tōru, it felt like the trigger was pulled, tears now streaming down his face like there was no tomorrow.
“I’m so sorry,” he choked out. “I’m so so sorry.”
Throwing you right leg over his leg still didn’t seem to give the setter the courage to look you into the eyes. Tilting your head slightly, you let a gentle smile engrave into your face. Relaxed, soft eyes stared right at the crumbling boy.
“It’s okay, my love,” you murmured, thumb and index finger caging his chin in to force him to look at you. And when he finally opened his eyes, they were a soft red colour. With the same soft smile still plastered on your face, you wiped away his tears, thumbs gently caressing the increases underneath his eyes.
"I feel like you haven't really been at your very best, lately." Someone from school wouldn’t have noticed the change of behaviour. If you had told them Oikawa was going to break again, very soon, they would look at you with knitted eyebrows and laugh at your statement.
“Can’t you see the smile on his face?” In fact, you did. The difference between you and them was that you knew this was another front, another mask, another way of pushing his emotions behind a brick wall.
But even brick wall breaks every now and then.
And that’s fine.
“And that’s completely fine. It’s life, after all.” You had tangled your digits into his hair, something bound to relax him.
Oikawa would often be mistaken for the guy with the perfect guy. In reality, Oikawa didn’t see anything near a perfect guy whenever he stood in front of the mirror, his reflection staring right back at him.
He saw someone weak, someone who wasn’t able to bring the best out of himself when everyone needed him the most.
But to you, to you, he was nothing less than perfect. He outstood every human being that walked on earth, let it be a female or male.
Oikawa stood above them all.
"I just want you to know that you can always tell me whatever you want," you sang, eyes glistening with nothing more than love, pure love. "Not wanting to share anything is just as okay."
“I just want you to know that I’m always here for you, forever and always.” Tears seemed to fill his eyes again. Only this time, because of all the love that he felt radiating from your body.
One of the many reasons Oikawa would never be able to let you go, was the support. Somehow, you always were there for him. The day and time wouldn’t matter. If he felt as if he was about to drown in his own insecurities again, and the clock had struck three, he would be sure you’d still open the door to hold him and whisper sweet nothings in his ears.
Usually after some scolding, but you would always be there.
With the weakest smile, Oikawa intertwined your fingers and stared at you with the same love-filled eyes.
“Thank you, mi todo.”
108 notes · View notes
captainkappa · 3 years
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Fanfic:: Falling
Besides, leaving means going back to an empty ship. Leaving means counting down the days until he saw Grogu again. Leaving means counting down until he could come with a good enough excuse to come back to Tatooine.
Din doesn’t want to leave. Not just yet.
AO3 Link
Do you remember this post I wrote about Din Cobb going to see Space Cherry Blossoms? Well I wrote a whole fic about it! It’s pure fluff and pining, I hope you enjoy!
And a huge thanks to @staranon95 for betaing!
-=-=-=-=-=-
“Do you want to go for a ride?”
Din hasn’t meant to offer it. He knows that opening that gate would open others, but in the shade of Din’s new ship the  Mudhorn , Cobb leaning against his speeder to say good-bye, it slips out. During the job this time, Cobb had finally put into words Din had suspected, that he’d had never been off Tatooine, which isn’t that surprising when you consider the culture of Tatooine is scraping by for your next meal.
Cobb freezes for a moment. “You sure? You don’t have someplace to be?”
“No, I can spare a few.”
He’s not wrong. He’s not on contract from the guild, he probably has a couple of days before Bo-Katan contacts him again for the saber, his calendar is blissfully free. Besides, leaving means going back to an empty ship. Leaving means counting down the days until he saw Grogu again. Leaving means counting down until he could come with a good enough excuse to come back to Tatooine.
Din doesn’t want to leave. Not just yet.
The smile that Cobb has threatens to blind him. “Alright, lemme comm the town, tell them I’ll be back a little later.”
Cobb steps away and Din takes this as his chance to take a breath. He’s doing this, he’s just going to bring Cobb up to see a brand new planet then back to Tatooine before Mos Pelgo can miss him.
That’s it.
He lowers the ramp and packs up the supplies he got while on planet. It’s busy work that he can use to distract himself from thinking about how Cobb fought today, ruthless in the face of the slaver camp they came across, how the new durasteel armor hugs him in all the right places. Taking inventory should prevent his thoughts from drifting to how Cobb tilts his head back to laugh, the way he smiles when he gets an idea, and how he held out his hand to help Din up after the fight was over.
That is, until a thought pops into his head. Not only a thought, a planet, a planet he thinks he might want to show Cobb, someone who’s only used to the sand plains of Tatooine. He none so gently kicks the final crate into the hold before going to the cockpit. He plugs the coordinates in, just to see how the hyperspace lanes look.  
He blinks at the screen showing them optimal for a quick trip. No traffic, no anomalies sending them off course. It’s the perfect storm for space travel.
He glances at Cobb, still talking with Jo or Issa-Or. He turns back and pulls out a busted datapad and checks one more thing about the planet in mind.
He was right; it’s peak season.
He leans back in his chair, allowing himself to be selfish and look at Cobb. Is this the Force? He’s had conversations with his son’s teachers since he got his frequency and he still doesn’t understand it entirely, but is this what the Force is? Pulling him to this conclusion that it’d be a crime to pass on the opportunity?
His thought process is interrupted by Cobb’s light steps up the ramp. His eyes wander the whole breadth of the ship, drinking it all in, before finally landing on him. His gaze is so bright, Din has to fight the urge to fidget.
“Alright, so what’s the plan, partner? Quick trip up and down?
“Actually, if you have time,” he starts, sounding more confident than he feels, “there’s a planet not too far away we could visit.”
Cobb tears his gaze away from the hull to look at him, eyes full of restrained emotion.
“Really?”
Din swallows, not knowing why his throat feels so dry. “Yeah. There’s a hyperspace lane freed up. Two hours there and back.”
“That easy?” And Cobb clamps his lips shut and Din can see where he’s coming from. The freedom of space is enticing. He’d be lying if there hadn’t been a day or two in his youth when he just wanted to forgo a bounty to just explore.
He nods, giving Cobb the time to consider.
“Two hours?” he parrots and Din nods again. Cobb considers this for only a moment before saying, “Ah, what the hell, once in a lifetime opportunity, right?”
“Alright.” Din hopes Cobb can’t tell how hard he’s smiling as he starts up the ship.
The ship rumbles beneath his feet, a familiar sensation. Cobb, on the other hand, jumps five feet out of his seat when the ship around them starts to move.
“Sorry,” Din says before Cobb can get a word in edgewise. Should’ve thought of that. “I’m gonna have us start climbing now, okay?”
Cobb manages a nod. Din pulls up on the controls and the ship is airborne. He lets the control tower know they’re leaving before pushing the ship to accelerate to break the atmosphere. He keeps turning his head to face Cobb, whose eyes are plastered to the viewport.
This time he warns Cobb what he’s doing, trying to remember how it felt the first time he entered hyperspace.
“It might… feel weird,” he explains as he plugs in the hyperspace coordinates.
Cobb snorts. “Very descriptive, partner, thank you kindly for the warning.”
Din huffs out a laugh before pulling the lever back, watching as the familiar blues of hyperspace fill the cockpit window. There’s a sudden gasp from his left and he turns to look at Cobb, to make sure he’s okay.
He hasn’t been expecting tears. Silent, quiet tears falling down Cobb’s cheeks. It makes Din’s throat close up with want. What he wants, he’s not sure. Want to bring Cobb with him? Cobb wouldn’t want that with his roots already set down in Tatooine; the politics of Mandalore wouldn’t appeal to him.
Or at least, that’s what Din tells himself, avoiding any consideration of the opposite because what if it wasn’t that Cobb wouldn’t leave Tatooine, but that he wouldn’t leave  with Din .
Din has had too much heartbreak for one lifetime. He doesn’t think he could handle much more.
He tells Cobb he’s free to wander the ship, but Cobb just nods, eyes transfixed. Din settles in himself. He’ll leave the cockpit if Cobb asks, but he really hopes he doesn’t.
-=-
As predicted, the flight is short and soon they are out of hyperspace. From space, the planet is a motley of colors, but Din angles for the dot of pink that grows larger and larger as they enter the atmosphere. Cobb’s eyes never leave the viewport as the planet widens before their eyes, details coming into focus. First, its coastlines, then mountains that disappear with the curve of the planet, then the natural borders of biomes, then thick forests of multicolored trees, until they arrive at the patch Din had thought of.
They touch down on a flat patch of earth, no official landing strip for miles. Din flicks the last switch before turning to Cobb. His eyes haven’t left the window, hands in fists in his lap.
“Cobb?”
Cobb jumps, turning to his voice.
“Are you ready?”
Cobb blinks. “We can head on the planet? Just like that?”
“Yeah,” Din says, standing up. “There’s no major space port here, mostly uninhabited on this side. We’re not breaking any laws.”
The other man chuckles. “Not worked about law breakin’.”
“Then c’mon. There’s more to see.”
He nods and falls in step with Din, wide eyes never leaving the tops of the trees. Din allows himself a moment to look as well. The trees stand at least another person taller than both of them, branches full of fluffy bright pink blooms. Even with the branches looking as full as they are, there’s a thick carpet of pink under their feet, decompressing with every step.
Cobb finally breaks his silent awe. “Are they…always this color?”
Din shakes his head. “The flowers fall and grow back a different color for each season. Last time I was here they were blue.”
Cobb breaks away from their twinned steps to walk up closer to one of the trees. Din watches as he feels the bark between his fingers, reaches up to feel the silky textures of the petals and Din’s heart seizes with what could be; traveling together and visiting planets Cobb could never conceive of. Din wants to hand the galaxy to Cobb and ask where he wants to go, because if there is one person who deserves a little reverence and adventure, it’s Cobb, who cares so much for the people around him but so little for himself.
“Wait for me,” Din says, as he nearly loses sight of the man.
“We just landed on an alien planet, and you want me to wait?”
“Don’t want to lose track of you. I could easily mistake you for a tree.”
Cobb snorts, pushing on one of his pauldrons before breaking away, keeping a closer distance this time.
A breeze blows through and shakes the branches, loose petals are thrown into the air, twisting and twirling in the air, but Din only has eyes for Cobb. Cobb, with eyes wide, head tilted up to try and take it all in. Gentle pink petals catch in gray hair and that red scarf and Din can barely breathe for a second.
“It’s beautiful,” Cobb says, his gaze to the sky.
“Yeah,” Din says, eyes never leaving Cobb.
Cobb’s eyes sweep the valley before stopping on him.
He stifles a laugh. “I think you have some petals in your…”
Din looks down and sees the petals have caught in the junctures of his armor.
“Here, lemme help you.”
Din looks up and Cobb is suddenly much closer, fingers brushing in the spaces between armor, where the flight suit suddenly feels as thin as silk for all it keeps out the heat of Cobb’s fingers.
“There we go,” Cobb says with one last brush of his fingers.
“You too.” Pink dots Cobb’s salt and pepper hair. Before Cobb can move and before Din can properly think his actions through, he’s bringing gloved hands up to Cobb to gently brush the petals away. He’s thought of this before, but without the gloves on, hands lingering in the gray strands, wanting to know if they’re as soft as they lookl, or are there grains of sand lost between them?
Cobb’s eyes close for a moment and Din takes the second to drink him all in, at the freckle under his eye, the way his hair has shifted in the breeze. It’s only for a second before he’s looking into familiar hazel again.
And Din realizes just how close they’ve gotten.
“C’mon,” Din says, clearing his throat when his voice comes out rougher than he anticipates, “One thing I want to show you.”
Cobb’s face breaks into a familiar grin. “Something else? Mando, I’m startin’ to feel spoiled.”
You deserve it.
Din takes a step back, nodding, before gesturing to follow him. He leads them through the seemingly endless forest, guided by muscle memory of the last time a bounty brought him here and his HUD showing how the terrain changes.
It’s a short walk from where Din remembers it, the lake where he finally caught that bounty. The water is covered in petals so that it nearly blends in with the ground. Din pauses just before the ground turns to mud. He turns to explain the circumstances of finding the place, when he realizes Cobb is still walking forward.
“Wait!” Din throws out a hand to grab him by the elbow pulling him back. Cobb is immediately on alert, thinking there’s something dangerous. Instead of explaining, Din pulls a rock from the ground and throws it into the lake in front of them. The impact sends the petals on the surface rocking in the waves, revealing the dirty green water they had been covering.
Cobb blinks, staring at the ripples.
“Maker,” he whispers. “I ain’t never seen that much water, let alone covered like that.”
Din nods. Silence descends like the falling flowers as he lets Cobb explore the area, throw more stones into the lake, and watch how the petals shift on the lake.
Suddenly Din is reminded of something his buir taught him, back before the covert had relocated to Nevarro, when they were on a grassy planet with what felt like a million lakes.
He looks down at the shoreline and it doesn’t take long to find what he’s looking for.
“Cobb!” His head snaps up, rock slipping from his fingers to crash near his feet. Din bites back the smile on his face as he says, “Watch this.”
He crouches down, curls his finger around the flat rock in his hand, and lets it go. It skips twice on the water before disappearing. Cobb crows in delight at the first skip, eyes glued to its movements.
“What kind of Mando training lets you do that?”
“That’s not Mandalorian training,” Din says, helmet already tilted to find another rock. “Besides, that was shit. I can get nine skips on a good day.”
“Bantha shit,” Cobb says and Din looks up and sees a smile that looks like a challenge.
“Well, with the flowers in the way-”
“No, no, no backpedaling now,” he points a determined finger in Din’s direction. “You promised me nine skips, I want to see it.”
“Alright,” he says, stooping down to really start looking for the perfect rock. He pulls off his gloves in the process, sticking them in his belt.
He stands up with a couple of decently flat rocks. He weighs the first in his hand, before dipping low and letting it fly. It gets five skips before slipping underneath the surface. Cobb lets out a low whistle.
“Here,” he says, handing a stone to the other man. “Try it.”
Cobb hesitates only for a moment before taking the stone, fingers brushing. Din coaches him through the movements, shaping his fingers around the stone, showing him how to get the right angle by crouching down low.
Cobb’s eyes never leave his hands, but his first throw sinks like a rock. Din gets a good six skips.
“Try again,” Din says, already handing Cobb a new rock before he can let loose the expletive he knows is behind his tongue.
The sun is low in the sky, casting a warm red light over them by the time Cobb can skip the stone more than once and Din can get a stone to skim the water ten times before going under. The look Cobb gave him when he finally got a stone to skip once is one Din knows he’ll remember for a while.
The walk back is quiet, both men exhausted after a long day. Was it just this morning that he and Cobb flushed out a group of slavers? Can a day feel so long and yet so short?
What if he has more days like this?
He shakes his head as the ramp to the ship lowers. They’re friends, that’s all. He’s not about to mess up a good thing, one of the rare good things he’s managed to hold onto since giving up Grogu.
He’s about to step up when he feels a hand on his arm. He stops and turns to face Cobb, who looks so earnest in the light of the setting sun, it hurts.
“Din, thank you.”
“It’s no-”
“No, really. Thank you, for all of this. I never… I used to dream about leaving Tatooine as a younger man, but I-I could never think of anything like this.”
Din nods, because if he tries to clear his now dry throat, tries to string two words together, he’s going to regret it. He’s going to say something like “stay with me” or “can I go home with you” conversations that will end in disaster.
Or at least, that’s what Din tells himself as he watches Cobb walk into the ship. Din lets out a steady breath before following.
Take off goes smoother this time, Cobb being more prepared for the feelings and sounds. This time, Cobb breaks his gaze from space to ask about the ship, how it functions and its name.
Space travel has never felt so fast. It feels like the next minute he’s bringing the ship down onto the familiar yellow sands of Tatooine.
The ramp of the  Mudhorn  lowers, a small puff of sand kicks up. Neither man moves.
“Well, until next time, Marshal.”
“Of course, don’t be a stranger. And thank you, again.”
But still, neither one of them moves. Din’s about to ask if something’s wrong when Cobb steps close.
“Please don’t tell me I’m reading this wrong.”
Before Din can ask, Cobb reaches for his hand, bringing it up to his mouth so fast it looks more like he’s punching himself with Din’s fist rather than kissing his knuckles. Cobb pulls back just as quickly, back ramrod straight as he takes Din in.
“Don’t feel obligated-”
“I’m not-Maker, you are dense sometimes, aren’t ya?” Din’s about to contest that but Cobb keeps going. “I’ve damn near been in love with ya since you flew out of that dragon’s mouth! Your visits make my month and I… I wouldn’t be opposed if they weren’t always for business.”
“Cobb-”
He makes to pull back. “If I misread the situation, then my apologies, but-”
Din squeezes tight on his hand. “You didn’t.”
“Oh.”
“Yeah, I… I don’t show just everyone planets full of flowers.”
Cobb breaks into a grin. “Well next time you take me out on a date, let me know it’s a date so I can get dressed up.”
Next time . Din likes the sound of that.
“It’s a date.”
11 notes · View notes
nyxxon · 3 years
Text
Persodroids (Asui Tsuyu and Hatsume Mei)
Request:
@Genos — Quotev
Anything specific to include: One Day, a young rich girl is taken to an Android store by her servant to buy some friends for Y/N while the mother was away. Y/N decides on Tsuyu and Mei, whom are on sale (Both have speakers for mouths and are in their hero outfits). Once home, and Y/N's mother leaves, Y/N turns the two on, having lots of fun with them over the next week. One night, while Y/N and the two cuddle together, Y/N wishes she could be like them, going to sleep snuggled between the two androids.
» Changed it up more to be more of a basic introduction. Possible part 2 with the end as you had described. Hope that is okay.
———
The drive to the large and extravagant store hadn't taken long since, before you knew it, your driver—Sero Hanta—pulled up to the store with you and your maid, Uraraka Ochako, sitting in the back seat.
     Remaining inside the car, you knitted your brows as you looked out the window at the large store with what appeared to be humanoid robots on display..? You weren't sure if that was the proper term, but it'd have to do for now.
     You knew you and Uraraka were going shopping for the day even though you hadn't wanted to. But she and even your mother had insisted you come with Uraraka to where she was going for some reason or another; however, that was all the info you had managed to gather from her during the little ride.
     As you were looking out the window and trying to figure out the reason behind it, it didn't take long for your view to soon change as Uraraka had since exited from the car and made it to your side of the door, opening it.
     Hesitantly you came out of the car before turning to look at Uraraka, "What are we doing here..?"
     "Hmm. You'll see!" She replied almost excitedly as she shut the door of the black car before she began walking towards the store, you following behind her.
     Upon entering, you both were greeted by even more of the humanoid robots all dressed in different and bizarre outfits while all also looking completely different from one another. But they all had speaker-like areas for mouths which was, admittedly, a bit offsetting.
     "Your mother asked me to bring you here to choose out two 'Persodroids' of your own."
     "Uh, 'Persodroids'..?" You blinked at her.
     Uraraka nodded, "It's like a friend of sorts, except it's an android." She stated, "They're quite popular actually."
     "I see . . ."
     Well, that explained why she and your mother wanted you to come to the store.
     "You can choose whichever two you like." Uraraka stated, "I'll wait for you here as you look around."
      You hummed, "What if I don't find one?"
     "I'm sure you will."
     You sighed, "I guess I'll look around then."
     With that, you started off in a random direction to look at all the "Persodroids" that were hanging in display boxes or sitting in human-like positions and whatnot. Each android had a little paper beside them describing them.
     Walking towards one of the androids, one with blonde hair that had a black lightning bolt in his hair, you read the paper: Kaminari Denki is a friendly, social, and energetic boy who likes to hang out with people. He is rather casual when interacting with others although he's also not above petty complaining or overreacting if feeling annoyed or shocked enough. Kaminari may come off as blunt and reckless at times but is always well-meaning. He is also very flirtatious.
      Frowning, you went to the next one beside him. It was a pink-skinned-and-haired alien-looking android of sorts. You read her description paper: Ashido Mina is a cheerful and easygoing girl who displays a smile on her face most of the time. Highly social and excitable, she loves to hang out with her friends and is shown to become very upset when denied an opportunity to be at a gathering.
     She possesses a strong fashion sense and likes to go shopping. Due to her athleticism and energy, Ashido enjoys and is very skilled at dancing. Her demeanor becomes more strict and perfectionistic when teaching others how to dance, in direct contrast to her usual happy-go-lucky nature.
     It seemed they each had their own personalities along with likes and dislikes . . . so it appeared you'd need to look at each card to find your best match.
     With a sigh, you began reading each and every card of the majority of the Persodroids . . .
 
 
After what felt like a few hours, you had read just about every single card for each Persodroid. However, even so, you hadn't managed to find anyone you liked—not that you had expected any different since you honestly didn't have much interest in doing so.
     "Unable to find one you like?" A voice sounded from behind you.
     You jumped a little as you turned around, instantly being greeted by the sight of a rather tall curvaceous woman in a white blouse and tight black pencil skirt with spiky dark purple hair with a pair of striking blue eyes.
     You blinked at her, "Who are you?"
     "Oh, dear. Excuse my rudeness." She started, "I'm Kayama Nemuri, the owner of the Persodroid Store . . . but as I was saying, you appear to be having trouble."
     "I guess."
     She hummed as she looked you up and down, "Come with me." She turned and started walking.
     Blinking at her as she began getting farther and farther, you reluctantly followed her as she began leading you past all the androids you had already read about, opening a door that appeared to lead into a back room of sorts before leading you to a pair of female androids who sat against the wall—alone.
     One had long dark green hair and a skin-tight green and black bodysuit with tan-colored gloves that had buckles around each wrist while also somewhat resembling a frog in a way—possessing larger than average hands.
     The other was a girl with salmon-colored hair styled in thick dreadlocks while wearing a plain black tank top with workshop coveralls tied casually around her waist—a pair of red and gold steampunk goggles on top of her head.
     But both had the basic speaker-like mouth that all the other Persodroids appeared to sport.
     Though with that said, were they messed up?
     "I have a feeling these two may be to your liking." Kayama stated as she handed you two pieces of paper, snapping you from your staring at the two androids.
     You stared down at the papers in her hand before reluctantly taking them and reading over them, reading the one that had "Asui Tsuyu" on the top: Tsuyu is a straightforward and aloof individual who always speaks bluntly from her mind and what she thinks about others. Tsuyu prefers to be called "Tsu," but only by people that she views as friends. She commonly refers to everyone with the honorific "-chan"—save for authority figures.
     She is noticeably calm and collected, being able to stay levelheaded and focused even during the most stressful situations. An honor student since middle school, Tsuyu has great judgment, can communicate her intentions easily, and is rarely moved by emotion, making her an incredibly dependable friend.
     You then proceeded to the one that read "Hatsume Mei" on top: Hatsume Mei shows no fear when it comes to failing, seeing it as an opportunity to learn and do better next time, which is why she does not mind when her inventions fail. She can be seen as self-centered due to putting her love of inventions and gadgets above others, but this selfishness is not a negative as it is out of motivation to improve herself.
     She does seem to be a little bit absent-minded as she is easily distracted and can sometimes be completely unaware of her surroundings. She can also be a bit manipulative at times. Furthermore, she seems inept at reading body language and social cues.
     Admittedly, these two androids did mildly pique your interest—more so than the other ones who had been out in the open. However, you were curious as to why these two were in the practically empty backroom.
     "The green one is Tsuyu and the pink one is Hatsume." Kayama stated.
     "Why are they back here?"
     She hummed, "They are too good just for anyone."
     You raised a brow, "What do you mean?"
     "They're special."
     "Special?"
     A smirk played at her lips, "If you buy them, you shall see."
     You looked at her for a moment then back at the two girl androids. This seemed like the most basic of "buy this" convincing you had ever seen. However . . . you were a bit curious about these Persodroids.
     Perhaps this had been what Yaoyorozu Momo, one of your friends, had been talking about and described one of her maids to be when you two had talked over some tea when you had gone to her place though you didn't pay too much attention to her rambling.
     "So what do you say? Kayama eventually asked.
     "Fine. I will take these two."
     Her smirk widened, "Very well."
     With that, she had soon gotten a few of her workers to prep them to be packed up and placed in your car out front while she led you back to the front desk to ring you up—Uraraka handling the payment once you had told her you had found two you were interested in.
     After Uraraka had paid for the two androids, you both were soon escorted out with the two workers who helped you load the two androids into the trunk of the car before you soon entered it instantly followed by Uraraka.
     After you both had gotten settled, the car was soon off and heading back home. On the way, Uraraka was happy you had found two you wanted as she asked many questions about them.
     Not really wanting to partake in any conversation, you simply handed her the pieces of paper with their descriptions on them as she gladly read it though she did ask which was which with you telling her before she began talking about one thing or another on the way back home as you ignored her—your mind filled with curiosity of the androids you had just bout and, that if what Kayama said was true, what was so special about them.
     Once you had gotten home, the two androids stayed in the car as they waited to be unloaded by two of your own personally helpers around your home who had started towards the car right as you headed inside to see your mother.
     Right as you walked inside, it didn't take long for your eyes to land on your mother as it appeared she was off to head off, a suitcase in hand—being the CEO of one of the biggest companies of Musutafu, so she usually had to attend long meetings which usually had you being alone most of the time.
     As she walked towards youz you began to speak, "Mom–"
     "Oh, (First Name), you're back!" She interrupted, "Did you find two Persodroids you like?"
     "Ah, yes, I did."
     "Wonderful!"
     "But why di–"
     "I have to go, I'm going to be late for my flight if I don't head out now." She stated, "I'll be back in a week."
     "Oh . . ." You had almost forgotten she had a week-long meeting to handle and that her flight left today.
     She placed her hand on the top of your head, "Love you, have fun with your new toys." With those words, she soon left you to your own as you watched as she walked through the door right as the two guys bringing in the boxed androids made their way inside.
     "Where do you want these?"
     You glanced at both of the men carrying the large boxes, appearing to be internally struggling though not saying anything, "You can put them down in the living room."
     The two men nodded as they headed into the living room. After a few seconds, they soon came back into the lobby before heading back out to handle what they had originally been doing before your arrival.
     Making sure you were alone and seeing as Uraraka had left to handle her regular maid duties for the time being, you soon made your way into the living room. Spotting the two large boxes on the ground, you walked towards them before stopping once you had gotten in front of one of them. Bending down, you opened both of the boxes, revealing the two androids.
     As you looked at them, you wondered how you turned them on . . .
     Looking around, you soon found a piece of paper inside one of the boxes. Grabbing it, it was obvious directions on how to turn them on. It appeared you'd have to press the little button on their necks—simple really.
     Hesitantly, you pressed the button on both of their necks. At first, it did nothing so you were about to press it again since you thought that maybe you hadn't pressed it hard or long enough for it to process your actions; however, the one dubbed Tsuyu's eyes snapped open followed by Hatsume's before they slowly began to rise up from the boxes.
     The sudden action of them sitting up caused you to scoot back as you stared at them with somewhat wide eyes. It was a little off-putting with how realistic they looked aside from their mouths, of course.
     You continued to stare over at them silently with your eyes still a bit wide and a bead of sweat on your cheek, taking notice of their eyes appearing to glow with a "processing" symbol. Though their eyes soon reverted to more normal-looking ones—Hatsume's still a bit odd-looking though—after a few more seconds as they began to scan the room, soon stopping on your form.
     Tsuyu was the first one to speak—her voice perfectly human even with the odd speaker mouth, "I'm Tsuyu Asui. But you can call me Tsu."
     "I am Hatsume Mei!" Hatsume said directly after, her voice relatively normal as well, "Who are you?"
     "Uh . . ." You paused for a moment, "(L-Last Name) (First Name)."
     Both of their eyes seemed to turn into the "processing" symbol before reverting back to the more regular eyes.
     "It's a pleasure to meet you, (Last Name)-chan. We are your Personal Androids or 'Persodroids' for short." They said in unison though Hatsume's was a bit more excited sounding, "Basically, we are your android friends."
     "Android friends?"
     "Yes!" Hatsume started. If she had a normal mouth, you were sure she'd have a smile on her face, "We will do anything and everything with you!"
     "As long as you keep us charged that is." Tsuyu came in, her voice not as enthused as Hatsume's, as she placed an oversized finger to her speaker mouth.
     "Our batteries last for three days on average while running on a full charge." Hatsume stated, "We can also function while being charged!"
     "I see."
     "You don't talk much, do you?" She asked.
     "She doesn't seem like the type." Tsuyu answered for you as she studied you.
     "I–"
     "You have such a nice house, (Last Name)!" Hatsume said as she glanced around the living room, her eyes switching to that of computer-animated 8-bit sparkles.
     "Yes, it'd really nice." Today agreed.
     "Are you rich or something?!" Hatsume turned her gaze back to you.
     "Uh, you could say that."
     "Wow, that's so cool!"
     "I agree." Tsuyu came in as she began to gaze about the lavishly furnished living room herself, "It must be nice having such a lot of money."
     You frowned, "I guess."
     As you silently stared at the two "Persodroids" who looked at your house in complete amazement (Hatsume more so), you couldn't pinpoint what was exactly so "special" about them. They looked exactly like all the other androids that littered that store, and you were sure they function the same as the others as well.
     You wondered if there was a way to shut them off, you were sure there was. After all, you didn't care too much about them and had only got them because of what had been said to you as well as Uraraka being very adamant about you getting one . . .
     But at the same time, you were still quite curious about these "Persodroids" as well as curious if they'd eventually show you how special they truly were or if what Mrs. Kayama had told you had been a bunch of bull just to get you to buy them.
     So for the time being, you'd allow these "Persodroids" to continue to run—you watching them closely to see if what the owner of the store had said to you was actually true or not through the passing week. And who knows, maybe they may actually grow on you though you highly doubted that.
     However, with the days to come with the passing week, you weren't expecting the two androids to slowly do just that. In the end, a small friendship between the three of you was destined to begin in that short amount of time . . .
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penny-beee · 4 years
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A Fathers Sins
Pt. 1/2
Draco x Reader
Description. Readers family is killed by Dracos father and they must overcome it.
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Thumps of despair emitted from my body, sweat dropped down my burning cheeks. The room had grown dim, lamps thrown around; books and framed memories in places not meant. Mothers body laid sprawled out, while father was pushed against the wall with gashes covering his now unrecognizable face. My own body curled up in the corner of the living room, I could just barely see. I softly whipped my aching nose, blood pooling next to my head. I glanced over to my mother seeing her body slowly rise and fall. She was dying, slowly and very painfully. The tall brute that had attacked my family tapped his cane on the ground as he walked away, blonde hair glistening in the hall light.
I gazed over at mother one last time, her mouth now gaped and eyes staring back into mine; a single tear fell down the side of her temple. I felt like screaming, belting out gibberish until my parents were healed. Father was lifeless, his stare - empty. I reached for them, my tears streaming down and meeting the blood. The cries grew my mind and body exhausted, sinking me into my last peaceful slumber.
Since that night in London, I had nightmares almost every night. The faces of my murdered parents haunted me, I was unsure of why my loving family would be murdered before my eyes.
I clungg tightly to my school books, knuckles turning a pale white. I could feel the stares of my peers as I walked down the hall to potions. From the attack, I had acquired a scar from the top of my hair line down to my right eyebrow. Mother had pushed me out of the attackers way; causing me to topple onto a broken picture frame.
Uncomfortable, I sped up my pace - almost running to potions. I plopped down in my permanent seat at the back of the class. The second day of sixth year, the second year of being completely and utterly alone. After the unfortunate ‘accident’ two years ago, I closed my doors off from everyone. My two closest friends Draco and Pansy never got an explanation, I just disappeared. Only a few weeks later had I put the pieces together to figure out that Dracos father was the murderer; concluding in me that I would push Draco the farthest away. I never spoke to him again.
Days usually blurred together, I’d pay attention when needed and get good enough marks to pass each class. Although a pure blood, I had grown to the wizard life and world. The cruelty, selfishness, greediness, etc. I resented it. I tried to vanish after classes; study in my room, eat and then sleep.
Today was no different, I finished my last meal of the day and headed for my dorm. My small feet drug on the stone floor, mind empty of any worthy thought. I rubbed my clammy hands on my cheeks, basically out of despair that was my reality. As I went to look ahead, my nose ran into a hard surface, my feet stumbled under me causing me to fall slightly backwards. A long arm extended to help balance me. Glancing up, Draco was there towering over me just as he used to - many years ago. His eyes furrowed in pain, his ocean eyes growing cold.
“Watch it, orphan.” He snapped, he retracted his arm from my shoulders quickly.
I couldn’t take it personally, he didn’t know about what his father did and I was the one to shut him out. Ashamed, I whispered a ‘sorry’ and continued on my way to my room. There was a weight in my heart having to walk away from the boy I loved but resented so much for the second time.
The following month Draco wouldn’t stop glaring, his eyes wouldn’t leave mine. At times, I grew heavily uncomfortable and shift in my chair awkwardly.
“Y/N, why don’t you come and give this a whiff?” Slughorn tore me from my thoughts.
The seat creaked as I stood up, my hands grew moist - anxiety levels rising. I cleared my throat quietly and took a long sniff at the pot.
“So?” He questioned.
“Uh, soggy robe - a musky smell of pine and muddy shoes.” I coughed out - I knew exactly who that was.
“Draco! We have to go back! We’re going to get hypothermia!” I shouted worriedly.
“Oh don’t be shy Y/N, it’s just a little rain.” Draco laughed maniacally.
What was he up to, I wondered. He turned his back to the castle and slowly turned into a jog backwards - whirring around he darted. “Hey! No fair!” I giggled, chasing after the boy.
His long legs had carried him far, his nice oxfords met a huge mud puddle and splashed the front of his pants and shoes. We made our way into a corridor and stopped to catch our breath. I gazed over at the panting boy, his hair all a mess and clothes filthy - the smell of mud and soggy fabric filled my nose.
“As much fun as that was, we should probably go get washed up and head to bed.” I laughed through my loss of breath.
“Alright little rule follower - I’ll see you tomorrow!”
I cherished that memory, one of the last that I had with him.
The first day back from the attack, my eyebrow was healed but the scar shinned bright no matter where in the room. Hogwarts felt different, cold and dark. The hallways felt lonely, so many people filled them but somehow I felt absolutely alone. Draco and Pansy showed up in my vision, both staring down at my scare and only that. Alienated, I felt ugly - weak. Who was going to be friends with the orphaned freak, I held the tears that threaten to spill over my kids. Draco held a serious face as Pansy just broke. She pulled me into a tight hug, her tears wet my shoulder. I didn’t even feel it, didn’t feel the sadness she emitted. There was nothing in me anymore, no light. As she pulled away, Draco felt it was his turn.
He wrapped his arms around my waist, I had never been so close to him. We had hugged a few times but only quickly and never out of anguish. I buried my head into his neck, taking a last whiff of his piney cologne, I couldn’t imagine even looking at him anymore. The blonde hair destroyed me, just as it destroyed my parents. His hands rubbed my back soothingly, Pansy joined in, wrapping her arms around the both of us. No words said - just the comfortable silence of three best friends.
A tear threatened to spill over, I nodded my head at Slughorn - giving me a look of empathy I’m sure he thought it was of one of my parents. I turned and out of the corner of my eye I could see Dracos expression had changed from a glare to empathy. His eyes slightly lowered and hands in his lap. Clearing my throat, I made my way back to my wooden chair.
As class was dismissed, I was pulled off to the side of the corridor. A grunt left my mouth as I was stopped next to the wall. Draco. His face incredibly close to mine. Something had changed since I’d last looked. His skin more gray, eyes heavier, hair dull. He wasn’t sleeping; it was obvious he was slowly killing himself.
“Why? Why say those in potions? Do you want my sympathy? You left us.” He sneered.
“I just said what I smelt.” His hand lingered on my bicep, slightly weirded out - I pulled my arm back at my side.
“Why did you do it?” He pressed.
“Draco, this isn’t something that can be fixed so stop prying.” My finger connected with teeth, biting down to pry at my cuticles - a feeling of uneasiness filled my head.
“Tell me, Y/N. You were my best friend and one day you just left.” He kept pressing, pestering and pushing.
“Fine Draco, your father killed my parents and tried to kill me. He left my family and I for dead. You happy?” I stopped and looked to my side. “I can’t look at you without seeing your father. I loved you Draco, but I could never give that another try.” I ended. No more, that was enough explaining for a life time. I fixed my clothes and left the boy flabbergasted in the hall.
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