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Guilt and Love
Summary:
Lou is left to raise Rachel alone after her mother passes because of a horrible illness. It's difficult to raise a five year old alone, and even more so when you aren't sure you ever cared for them in the first place.
Notes: I will warn that there are a few moments in this fic that might be a bit heavy to read. It's a story that focusing mainly on grief and loss, so there's that to watch out for obviously. There's also some abuse, depressive episodes, and I think one suicidal thought, but nothing too bad. I just want you guys to be prepared and if you were hoping for something really wholesome and happy…sorry 😂
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Under a large bright Hunters Moon, in a small hospital miles and miles away from the place he once considered home, Lou sat in a waiting room, leg bouncing anxiously. He couldn’t be sure if his restlessness was due to the fact that he was missing the first night of deer season, or if it was the fact that after tonight his life was never going to be the same.
He’d been told multiple times that he could go into the delivery room with his wife, but he’d refused. He didn’t want to be there. He didn’t want to see it. He didn’t want to hold her hand. He kept considering leaving. His truck was downstairs in the parking lot waiting for him. His crossbow was in the backseat, ready to be used for the hunt. The sky was bright and the woods were filled with prey. Something kept him here. Something had been keeping him here. That curiosity. That nagging voice in the back of his mind that had kept him tightly bound to Elizabeth since their first date. That something that kept him from breaking up with her after that first night. The same something that kept him from letting her live in her car. The something that made him buy a ring. That made him run away with her. The something that brought him to this hospital with her in the first place.
He couldn’t figure out what it was. It wasn’t love? Was it? This couldn’t be love! He was a proud pure blooded esteemed hunter! He couldn’t be in love!
No, it was guilt! Guilt is what kept him stuck in this little hick town when he’d rather be back in DC with his father and friends. He felt guilty that he’d made her think he actually cared about her so he took her on more dates. He felt guilty that he’d gotten her pregnant and shunned by her own parents, so he moved to New Jersey with her. He felt guilty that she was going to have to raise this child on her own, so he’d stayed. Yes, it had to be guilt. There was no love here.
She must’ve felt the same way, because he knew damn well she didn’t love him. Not anymore at least. She might’ve loved him in the beginning, before he’d grown so cold and bitter towards her. She told him the day she revealed that she was pregnant that she’d originally planned on terminating pregnancy. Apparently due to complications the child didn’t have great survival odds as it were, and when her family had found out about the infant they’d kicked her out of her home. It just hadn’t seemed worth it. Yet, when her father scolded her for her recklessness, he’d referred to the unborn child as “that thing” and something in her snapped. It made her angry! It fucking pissed her off! And that was when she’d realized it. She cared so much about how her father addressed the baby because she already loved them. She wanted to keep them.
“Mr. Fairchild?” The nurse asked and he stood on wobbling legs, giving her his full attention. “Would you like to meet your daughter?”
He followed the nurse into the delivery room and before he’d even had the chance to take in the scene, a much shorter nurse was already putting something tiny in his arms and instructing him on how to hold it.
The baby was much smaller than he’d been expecting. Elizabeth looked huge when she was pregnant, how come this tiny bean was all that came out? Were there six more of her or something!? No, just one. One tiny squirming bundle with vibrant red hair that was already starting to curl slightly. Her little hands had been covered with mittens already so she didn’t scratch herself with her nails. She was only a few minutes old and she was already struggling in Lou’s arms, trying grab at stuff and move. She let out a small whimper like noise, and Lou practically melted. Damn it, he didn’t even want this little thing and yet there were tears sliding down the sides of his face. His heart was thudding in his chest and he found himself never wanting to let her go. He was falling in love.
No! No it was not love! It was just guilt! Just more guilt. He felt guilty for the life this little freak was going to live. That’s all the feeling was. Nothing more.
“Is she okay?” Elizabeth was asking in a weak voice, “She’s still okay?”
“She’s…” Lou swallowed, glossy eyes staring down at the little creature nuzzling closer to him. “She’s perfect.”
If only perfect could’ve lasted forever…
***
“It’s not looking good I’m afraid.” The doctor explained, running a hand down his sour face. “She’s been fighting hard, but I think she’s reached the end.”
Lou just nodded, staring out into nothing, arms wrapped around himself. Why did this damn hospital always feel so cold?
Elizabeth was only diagnosed with Chronic Withering Disease eighteen months ago, but it felt like it had been years. Having to not only be constantly available every time doctors called, check in with her every single day and bring her anything she requested that was within his limits, was wearing him down fast. He constantly had dark bags under his eyes and her hair was disheveled. He looked as sick as she did at this point.
No. That was a lie. She didn’t even look sick anymore. She looked dead. Lying in the hospital bed, emaciated and frail. Cloudy eyes and dry, thin hair. Lou didn’t need a doctor to tell him she wasn’t going to make it much longer, he could tell from looking at her.
The worst part was that while she was in the hospital, they’d actually grown much closer than they ever had before. He’d come sit with her everyday and just talk. About life, about work, about everything. He found that she was a much better friend than she was a wife. She was a great listener, and extremely understanding. Hell she even asked him about his fucking love life! She knew he’d want to move on once she passed, and a few times she’d ask him how he felt about the nurses in the building. She was mostly joking, but there were hints of truth in her teasing.
Of course now that he’d actually grown to care about the bitch she was leaving him.
It was good, right? I mean, obviously death was never good, but it was an easy ticket out! He could go back to his old life! He could reconnect with his family and friends and go home to DC! Act like the past four and a half years never happened!
Wrong. He couldn’t do any of that, because he was still stuck with Rachel.
The annoying little thorn in his side. The little red head had been so precious and adorable at first, but now she was nothing but a pain. She was much closer to Elizabeth than she’d ever been with Lou. Once she’d grown enough that she no longer had to be rested on Lou’s chest to sleep, she suddenly acted as if she was afraid of her father! She never wanted to be around him! She stared at him with fear filled blue eyes and dropped to the floor, covering her head, whenever Lou so much as looked at her the wrong way.
“Sir… I know you’ve been holding off on bringing your daughter to say her goodbyes, and trust me I don’t blame you. But… If you were planning on letting her see her mother one last time, you might not have a lot of time to do so.” The doctor continued, drawing him out of his thoughts.
He glanced at the thick glass window separating them from Elizabeth’s bed. He’d been told before that he could bring Rachel to see her so long as the door to her room remained sealed and they only interacted with each other through the safety of the glass since Elizabeth was so frail that a single wrong move could cause her bones to snap. They’d done several blood tests on the child after her mother’s diagnosis just to be certain that she didn’t have the extremely fatal genetic disease along with her.
He had yet to bring his daughter to see her. As much as he and Rachel didn’t get along, he feared for her getting sick. No, he’d not wanted Rachel in the beginning. On some level he still didn’t want her! Still, he wouldn’t wish this illness upon anybody, especially not a child! Aside from fearing that Rachel would somehow catch the disease through the glass despite it not even being contagious, he also feared how the child would react to seeing her mother in such a sorry state.
Ever since she’d been taken away, Elizabeth had asked about Rachel every single day. She understood why she hadn’t been to allowed see her, but she still wanted to know if she was alright. She asked about her schooling, about her health. She wanted stories of her, and photographs. She wanted to know her baby was okay. And Rachel wasn’t much different. She begged for her mother every day. Asked where she was, when she was coming home, why she left. Lou had raised his voice several times, the constant repeat of questions growing old. Still, Rachel didn’t let up. She’d gotten in trouble a lot at school for her behavior. She’d been acting out so badly that her teacher couldn't do anything with her. She’d even talked about having her removed from her class! It seemed the longer she spent away from her mother, the more aggressive she became! If Elizabeth died and Rachel never got to see her again, she’d never truly grasp what happened to her. She’d never understand why she disappeared. She’d never come to terms with the fact that she wasn’t coming back. She’d just continue to grow more and more aggressive until Lou couldn’t do anything with her.
As scary as it was, he knew it was time. He had to bring Rachel to say goodbye.
***
“Remember what I told you, Curls.” Lou breathed as they stepped into the hospital side by side, holding tightly to Rachel’s hand. He nodded at the receptionist as they went past the front desk. She knew him well by now.
“Be on my best behavior.” Rachel squeaked out in a tiny voice, tensing slightly as she took in the scenery. Even a child, unable to grasp the concept of pain and death, seemed to understand the sad and eerie atmosphere.
“That’s right.” He nodded, “And why do we have to be on our best behavior?”
“Because mommy is sick.” Rachel swallowed.
“Right.” The elevator dinged and they stepped inside.. He pressed the button to take them to their floor without even looking. He took a deep breath inward. “Now, I already told you once, kid, but I’m gonna say it again. Your mom is going to be in her own room, and we can’t go in, okay?”
Rachel was staring up at him, listening harder than she’d ever listened to anything in her little life. Absorbing every word.
“We have to stay on our side of the window, and she has to stay on her side.”
“Why?”
“Because she’s really sick plus she’s very tired and you might accidentally hurt her”
“Like with the chickens pots?”
“Chicken Pox.” He corrected, “And no. It’s a little worse than chicken pox.”
The elevator dinged again, the doors opening and letting them out into the quietest floor in the entire hospital. They walked through the silent hallways, feeling like the only people on earth, before finally coming to a desk with a single nurse sitting behind it, looking tiredly over a computer screen.
“Morning Nancy.” Lou nodded.
“Morning Nancy!” Rachel repeated, nodding her head to mimic her father.
The half-asleep nurse stood from the swivel chair and looked over the counter, peering down at Rachel. Her tired eyes lit up upon seeing her and she gave her a kind half smile.
“You must be Rachel.” She sighed, “Your mother has told us all so much about you.”
“You know my mom?” She asked, standing straighter, “Have you been to her room? Did you get the chickens pots?”
“Rachel.” Lou growled under his breath and the child flinched, her legs bending as if she was about to drop to the ground but she managed to stop herself.
“No, sweetie. I didn’t get chicken pox. I’m one of the nurses that takes care of your mom. Are you here to see her today?”
She nodded, a small smile creeping over her face.
“Okay. Well I’m sure your dad has already told you, but I’m gonna tell you too. You can’t go in your momma’s room with her, you have to stay on the other side of the window.”
“Right.” She nodded.
“And your mom is really sick, honey. So she’s going to look different than when you last saw her, okay?”
She nodded again. Her smile disappeared and she searched the ground before looking back up at the nurse with a nervous expression. “When will I be able to go to her room?” She asked. “When will she come home?”
The nurse walked around the desk, getting down on her knees in front of Rachel and taking both of her little hands into her own, running her thumb over the back of them as she took a deep breath.
“Listen sweetie, your momma’s body isn’t working like it’s supposed to anymore, okay?” She explained softly, “One day, it’s going to stop working. Her heart won’t beat, and she won’t breathe. She won’t be able to see or hear or feel anymore.”
Lou watched Rachel’s eyes widen, scanning the nurse's face, taking it all in.
“Wh…When will it start working again?”
“It won’t, baby. We won’t have her around anymore. At least not like you used to. You will always have her in your heart, but she won’t be able to be with you anymore.”
Lou had been dreading that conversation. He’d tried multiple items to explain what was going to happen to his daughter, but he couldn’t find the words. He’d expressed this to nurse Nancy before, and he was glad she seemed to have been prepared to help him.
“Death isn’t like a trip. She’s not going to come back, but she will always love you, okay honey?” Nancy asked, giving her hands a small squeeze.
She was quiet. Too quiet. Lou couldn’t tell if she was understanding what she was saying to her or not.
“Dead like the heads and antlers on the walls?” She breathed quietly, eyes cast down at the tile floor.
“Oh…” Nancy swallowed, glancing up at Lou. she hadn’t been prepared for this kind of a response. She hadn’t realized that Rachel, the five year old, already had at least a little experience with death. “Well…”
“Sort of, kid.” He interrupted, clearing his throat.
Nancy took the hint and stood up, dusting off her knees. She’d done enough parenting his child for one day.
“Well then, if you follow me I’ll show you your mom, okay?”
Rachel nodded quietly before following behind the nurse, Lou bringing up the rear.
The air felt heavier as they marched onwards, closer and closer to the large glass window at the end of the hall.
“Mom?” Rachel asked, perking up slightly. From her short height, she could make out a vague shape lying on the bed by the glass. The nurses had moved Elizabeth’s bed up against the window to make interacting with others easier. This way they could stop and speak to her without going into the room and then having disturb her from her rest every single time they had a question for her.
Nancy put the thin mask over her face and gave Rachel a small nod before she went into the room, switching on the light inside.
“She went in! Is she gonna get the chickens pots- er- the chicken pox?” Rachel asked, tugging on his pants leg worriedly. Lou ignored her, instead watching as Nancy very carefully woke his wife from her slumber.
Her milky white clouded eyes struggled to focus on anything, and when she sat up her body shook weakly. Her eyelids were drooping, and even without being on her side of the glass, he could practically feel how exhausted she was. He wished he could help her. Not because he loved her or anything, but because he felt guilty. Guilty that she was having to suffer through this illness while he was out here, perfectly healthy. On some level, he wished he could switch places with her. If one of them had to die, it should’ve been him. He’d been the one making all those stupid fucking mistakes. He should be the one in the hospital, and she should be the one staying alive and raising Rachel.
Thanks to the speaker mounted on the glass, they could hear the goings on inside Elizabeth’s room, and she’d be able to hear them once her mind had caught up with her body and started functioning enough to understand what was happening anyway.
“Mrs. Fairchild, I believe there’s someone here to see you.” Nancy smiled, pointing out at Rachel through the glass.
He watched his wife slowly piece together the nurses words, understanding what she was saying. She turned slowly and looked down at the red haired child… But something was wrong. She wasn’t smiling down at her. She wasn’t pressing hands against the glass. She wasn’t speaking. She wasn’t acting like someone who’d been stuck in a hospital for eighteen months finally being reunited with their child! In fact she was acting like-
“Where?” Elizabeth’s hoarse voice quivered, vacant eyes scanning the ground all around where Rachel was. She couldn’t see her. As bright as her hair was, she couldn’t see it!
Lou could practically hear the little girl’s heart shattering in her chest as Rachel got closer, standing on the tips of her toes and pressing her hands against the cold glass.
“I’m right here, mommy!” She called out. Elizabeth didn’t even twitch at the noise, it was like she hadn’t heard her at all.
“Look.” Nancy encouraged, moving closer and pressing her palm against the glass near Rachel’s, “It’s your daughter. It’s Rachel!”
Elizabeth stayed in place for a moment longer before slowly turning back to the nurse, eyes narrowed weakly. “Who’s Rachel?”
“Mommy!” Rachel’s voice broke, she balled her tiny fists and hit the glass once before Lou got down on one knee, carefully but forcefully snatching the back of her shirt and pulling her backwards before she could hit the window a second time. “Mommy I’m right here! Can’t you see me!?”
“Rachel, sweetie, take it easy!” Lou swallowed, trying to make his voice calm and gentle like Nancy’s had been.
“Why can’t she see me!?” The child sobbed, trying to get closer again. Lou wrapped his arms around her torso, pulling her back while she struggled to escape. Desperately trying to get closer. “Why can’t she see me, I’m right here!”
“Sh-she has bad days sometimes.” Lou tried to explain. He didn’t have a good way to put it into words. “She forgets me sometimes too, kid it’s not that she-”
“She forgot me!?” She interrupted, tears cascading down her face. “No! No, mommy don’t forget me! Please see me!”
“Rachel.” Lou shushed, noticing how Elizabeth’s eyes were starting to dart around. Trying to filter through the strange crying sounds coming from absolutely nothing.
He felt Rachel’s stomach move under his arm. Her chest shook as something primal deep within her threatened to rise up.
“No, Rachel. Don’t-”
Before he’d been able to finish his sentence, the child was wailing. A desperate attempt to get her mother’s attention. Elizabeth stiffened and her dull eyes widened, but she still didn’t seem to comprehend what was going on. They were stressing her out! He threw a hand over Rachel’s mouth and the little girl started shaking her head, kicking her feet, and scratching at Lou’s arms in a desperate attempt to escape, tears heavily flowing down her face the entire time.
Lou scooped her up, holding her back to his chest, keeping her mouth covered. He had to lean backwards to keep the little girl’s flailing legs from kicking him, and no matter what he tried, he couldn’t calm her down.
“I’m going to take her home, Nancy!” He called to the nurse over the commotion. “We’ll try again tomorrow!”
“Mmm!” Rachel cried out, voice muffled by her father’s hand “Nnmm!”
“Rachel, we’ll try again tomorrow.” Lou growled through gritted teeth, backing away from the glass, towing the still fighting child with him.
The tight hold Lou had on his daughter finally loosened once they were out of earshot of his wife's room, and Rachel didn’t hesitate to shake his hand away from her mouth. “Mom!” She screamed, voice broken up and scratchy. Large salty tears and snot covered her face, and she kept kicking her legs, trying to force Lou to drop her. “Mommy! Mommy I’m here! I’m here please see me!”
“Rachel, you have got to calm down!” Lou begged through his teeth as he hauled the energetic ball of sobs through the halls of the hospital, drawing the attention of everyone they passed.
“NO!” Rachel screamed. One of her kicks managed to make contact with Lou’s ribs and the man had to stop walking momentarily, the force knocking the wind from his lungs momentarily. “No! I want my mommy! I want my mommy!”
“I already told you, your mom is having a bad day!” Lou growled, heart thudding in his chest. “We will try to visit her again tomorrow, don’t you understand!?”
“No!”
Finally they made it out of the hospital! Finally away from all the prying judgmental eyes. Everyone staring at them. Judging him. Wondering why on earth he couldn’t get control of his own damn child!
They made it to Lou’s truck and he threw open the back door, practically tossing Rachel down into the seat next to her booster. The hair on the back of his neck raised and he bared his teeth. Snarling down at the child, seeing nothing but red.
“Listen to me you little shit!” He shouted, causing Rachel to flinch and begin to curl in on herself, lying down flat in the seat, body shaking as she desperately tried to contain her sobs. “I already told you. Your mother is having a bad day! I am sorry that she couldn’t remember you, but I can’t help it! You’re going to start listening to me when I tell you to calm down, do you understand?”
“I-I want my my mommy!” Rachel sobbed, looking up at him with large glassy eyes. “I just want my mommy!”
“I know!” Lou snapped, “I fucking know! You already said that! Crying about it won’t fix it, okay! You’re just making things harder!”
“I-I-I’m sorry!”
“You’d better be sorry!” He huffed, taking a step backwards. “Now we’re going home. If I hear one more peep out of you I… I…” He searched the girl’s shivering body for something, anything, he could use as a leverage before remembering something the child had mentioned earlier “I’ll mount your head on the wall, do you understand!?” He finished, clenching his fists.
That seemed to do the trick, because Rachel’s eyes had gone wide, and her trembling grew worse. She didn’t speak. She didn’t move. She stayed in place, watching her father carefully. Shaking like a leaf.
“Good.”
That evening, Rachel was quiet. She sniffled every so often, never quite getting over her crying spell from the hospital. She messed over her food, refusing to eat anything, but this was normal. She’d been doing that since her mother had gotten sick. Lou knew it was because she was used to eating balanced meals. Lots of fruits and veggies and meat in moderation. Now she was being served by a hunter who could barely cook for himself. Steaks, burgers, chicken or more often than not venison, he found it easier to cook whatever his latest kill was. At first Lou wondered if he was doing something wrong, but he’d just tell himself it was fine. The girl was probably supposed to have more meat in her diet anyway. All those evenings she’d been spending lying around complaining about an upset stomach was completely unrelated. She’d be fine.
They were going to be fine.
It was late that night. Rachel was asleep, curled up in her bed, squeaking out in her sleep the way she often did when she was having a bad dream. Elizabeth would often hear her from across the house and she never thought twice about crawling into her bed beside her, holding her close. Her heart beating beside her seemed to chase the darkness away, similar to the way Lou had been the only one able to soothe her to sleep as an infant. He could never bring himself to even attempt to comfort her that way now. He wasn’t cut out for parenting and he knew it.
He was standing out on the front porch, smoking a cigarette in the crisp fall night. Listening to the sounds of the leaves rustling in the trees above them. His phone began to ring in his pocket, and he took a sharp breath inwards. He knew. He didn’t know how he knew, but he knew.
Lou answered without evening looking down at the screen, his breath visible in the cold. Tears were already starting to form in his eyes.
Elizabeth was dead.
***
“Rachel, listen. You remember how that nice nurse the other day told you that your mom’s body would stop working soon? Well, it stopped. Your mother is dead, Rach.
No, we can’t go see her. She’s gone, and she can’t come back.
Because that’s just how life is, Rachel!
I know I told you we’d go see her again, but we can’t!”
He sat on the couch with his head in his hands, leg bouncing anxiously the way it had the night Rachel had been born. The kid hadn’t understood any part of this process, and he didn’t know how to help her. He kept telling himself that it wasn’t happening. This wasn’t real. Elizabeth hadn’t passed. She was just pulling a horrible horrible prank on him. Just getting back at him for all the years he’d been so mean to her.
The funeral had gone just as bad as he’d imagined it would. Only a handful of people actually came. None of her family, only a handful of coworkers. Her former boss had stayed the longest, seemingly offering more support to Rachel than Lou, which was fine. Lou hardly even knew the man, he most certainly didn’t need his sympathy. He didn’t need anyone’s sympathy! It wasn’t like he’d ever loved her! It wasn’t tears of a broken heart, it was just guilt.
Of course, she’d been cremated so there was no body. Nothing for Lou to physically show Rachel. Nothing to do to force the little girl to understand. She was there. She wore the black clothes. She stood in the line. She listened to the priest jibber jabber while people in attendance who barely knew Elizabeth swiped away at fake tears, pretending to care more than they did just so her small and pathetic little memorial service would feel real.
Rachel had been given a week out of school, but they’d told Lou that when she came back they were transferring her to a different class. That stupid teacher had finally had enough of her. Lou bit at his tongue, holding back his words. He wanted to tell her that he could see right through her. He wanted to tell her she was being a bitch. He knew damn well she was only having her transferred to another class because she didn’t want to have to deal with a grieving five year old. He couldn’t say he blamed her. He didn’t want to deal with it either, but he was stuck with the little freak! Unlike her, he couldn’t just pawn Rachel off onto whoever this new teacher was. He wished he could.
Later that night after Lou had decided to go to bed he twitched at a sudden scraping noise coming from down the hall. He listened for a moment before curiosity got the better of him and he stood, making his way towards Rachel’s room.
“Hey!” He barked, opening the door to find his five year old standing on her bed, using her plastic toy tools to scrape at the wall by the window.
The child jumped at his voice, dropping down onto the mattress and grabbing her hair, body starting to shake.
“Kid what the hell do you think you’re doing?” He raised an eyebrow.
I… I needed to let momma inside.” Rachel squeaked, and Lou’s breath hitched for a moment.
“You… What?”
“I… I heard momma.” She shivered, “Sh-she was outside. I need to let her in.”
Lou’s eyes narrowed and he glanced at the window, the markings on the walls, and the unmade bed sheets.
“Rachel, you were dreaming. Your mom’s not outside.” He sighed.
“But- But I heard her!” Rachel whimpered.
Lou swallowed back tears, a shiver running down his spine. He wished it were true. He wished she were standing outside. He wished he could open the window and let her inside. Deep down he knew it couldn’t be real. It was a dream and that was that.
“You were dreaming, kid. Stop scratching up my walls.”
Rachel didn’t stop scratching the walls. As the days passed, she kept waking up from delusional dreams and frantically trying to tear an opening into their home. There were tiny markings all over the walls and floors at the little girl’s level. It was growing old. No matter how many times Lou tried to convince her that it wasn’t real, she just couldn’t get it through her head.
It was two in the morning when Lou had finally had enough.
He’d been awoken by the all too familiar sound of plastic against wood. Rachel was up again. At the front door by the sounds of it. This had gone on too long. This was far enough.
He bared his teeth and climbed out of his warm bed, slinking through the cold house. The icy floor freezing under his feet and causing goosebumps to rise up on his skin under his shirt.
“Rachel!” He snapped, turning the corner into the living room.
Again, Rachel dropped, hands covering her head and grabbing at her curly red hair.
“What the fuck are you doing, kid!?” He snarled, eyes narrowing.
“I… Mom needs to-”
“Rachel, your mother is dead!” Lou interrupted, ignoring the glossy eyed stare the child was giving him in the dark.
“But… But she said she was-”
“You are dreaming! Do you fucking hear me!? You’re dreaming! Your mother is dead and nothing we do is going to fix that!”
Tears were starting to leak down the sides of the five year old’s face now, her little chest moving up and down rapidly. “Sh-she’s outside! She’s j-just lost!” She sobbed.
“No!” Lou stomped closer, snatching the little girl by the collar of her pajama shirt and lifting her up to eye level. “Rachel enough is enough! You have got to stop this! Your mom is not coming back, okay!?”
“Sh-she-”
“She’s not coming back!” He growled, teeth bared.
Rachel was crying too hard for her words to be comprehensive anymore. Little nails scraping across Lou’s arms as she struggled to free herself, wanting to be put back down.
“She was ju-just holding me!” She finally choked out in heavy sobs, “Sh-she was in my room! She said she had to go but she-”
“Stop!” Lou shouted so loud that she had to cover her little ears, face scrunching up. “Stop talking like this, Rachel! You were dreaming!”
Rachel hung in his arms, crying, biting her own fingers in an attempt to stop herself, hardly able to breathe through the tears threatening to drown her.
“Say it.” Lou snarled, eyes narrowing. “Say you were dreaming!”
“I-I-I was-was dre-dreaming!” Rachel coughed.
“Say it again.”
“I wa-as dreaming!”
“Louder!”
“I was dreaming!”
They stayed there silently. Lou kept his eyes glued to the child struggling in his hold before eventually releasing his hold on Rachel’s shirt, letting her fall unceremoniously onto the hardwood floor.
He stared down at her for a moment. A puddle of tears and sobs on the ground. He felt nothing but cold. He turned and went back to his room, leaving the child behind.
If only that stupid woman had taken better care of herself. If only Lou hadn’t gone out hunting quite as much. If only if only if only.
He wished he’d never gotten so defensive when his fathers hunting friends challenged him. He wished he’d never agreed to their rules. He wished he’d never taken Elizabeth on that first date, or any of those dates. He wished he’d never stayed in her van longer that night. He wished he’d looked away from those big brown eyes. He wished they hadn’t had such a strong hold on him.
He wished he’d never fallen in love with her.
He shook himself off. No. He wasn’t in love with her! He’d never been in love with her! He’d… He thought about her smile, her laugh. Her beautiful eyes, her sweet voice. He thought about the way her hand felt intertwined with his. He felt about the way she laid her head on his shoulder when they sat next to each other on the couch. He thought about how she slept with her arm wrapped around him. Her hugs, her jokes, her heartbeat.
He loved her. He fucking loved her. He’d loved her the whole fucking time.
Oh God, he’d been in love. He’d been in love with her! He’d loved her enough to go on a second date. He’d loved her enough to go on a third! He loved her enough to have sex with her that night. Enough to agree to help her raise the child. Enough to run away with her! Buy a home! Start a life! Raise a fucking baby! He’d loved her.
And now she was gone.
She was gone forever.
He barely registered the things going on in the house that morning. He’d thought of nothing but Elizabeth’s face all night. He could hear dishes in the kitchen. He could hear the clatter of things moving throughout the house. He heard the clicking of little shoes on the hardwood floor, and saw the shoes stop in front of him. He looked up, making eye contact with Rachel, dressed and ready for school with her backpack on her shoulders.
“A-are you going to t-take me to school?” She squeaked nervously. Lou sat silently staring at him for a moment, processing. God why did she have to look so much like her. She had her face. She had her curly hair. Her nose, her smile. Why the fuck did she have to look like her!? He wished he didn’t have to look at that face all the time.
“D-dad?”
He shook himself off.
“School.” He swallowed. “Yes. School.”
He didn’t want to take Rachel to school. He didn’t want to do anything. He wanted to lay in bed and die. What was he supposed to do with his life now? What was the point?
He blinked and suddenly they were in the drop off line in Rachel’s kindergarten. He looked in the rearview mirror and saw Rachel in her carseat, gripping the seatbelt tightly with a horrified expression on her face, body shivering. He couldn’t for the life of him remember how he’d gotten here. Had he driven the car out here?
When it was their turn, a short woman opened the back door, letting Rachel jump out of the car onto the sidewalk. She gave the woman a hug, which seemed to shock her for a moment, before she bolted into the school without even saying goodbye. Lou was driving away before the woman had even gotten the door closed all the way.
Another blink and he was standing in the shower, staring down at nothing. Letting the water wash over him.
Why had he been so fucking mean to her? Why had he yelled at her? Fought with her? Why had he thrown things? He hit her! He fucking hit her! Dammit he’d been hitting Rachel too. Dammit he was fucking everything up. Why did he keep fucking everything up? Why hadn’t he realized he loved her.
Suddenly the water was freezing. How long had he been in the shower!? He stepped out and wrapped a towel around himself, picking up his phone. Oh shit! It’s nearly nine o’clock in the evening. He was supposed to go pick up Rachel hours ago! He frantically pulled up the phone number of the school and dialed, but nothing happened. When was the last time he’d paid the phone bill?
He shook his head and rushed into his room to get dressed. Somewhere between getting dressed and leaving to get Rachel, he’d gotten lost and ended up sitting on the bedroom floor, staring down at his hands as tears dripped down his face, his chest aching. He fucking loved that woman. He loved her even though he didn’t want to. He loved her and he’d never told her.
Light stretched across the floor and hit him in the eyes. How long had his eyes been closed? What time was it now? He picked up his phone again, but it was dead. What was he doing? What was he supposed to be doing? He got up and finished getting dressed, walking into the living room. He took in the scratches and markings on the floors and walls. Rachel. Where was Rachel?
As he was trying to figure out what had happened to Rachel, he got distracted by the couch. He’d sat with Elizabeth on this couch so many times. He sat in what used to be her favorite spot, closing his eyes and taking a deep breath. Why was this her favorite spot? Was it because the other spot belonged to him? Which one of them had picked their favorite spot first?
What was he doing again? Rachel! Where the fuck was Rachel!? He went towards the child’s room, looking inside. Rachel hadn’t been here for a few days by the looks of it. So, where was she?
He twitched at the sound of a car pulling into the front yard. He cleared his throat and rubbed his eyes before going to stand on the front porch. He watched as a blond woman with a kind face got out of the car. Trailing behind her as she walked towards the house, was a very tired and very scared looking Rachel.
He leaned against the support beam of the porch. “Can I help you?” He asked.
“That depends.” The woman swallowed, “Are you Lou?”
“Yes ma’am.”
“Hi, I’m Mrs. Jolly, I live near the school, I don’t think we’ve ever officially met. I tried to call you after school yesterday when you missed pickup time.”
Shit, he’d completely forgotten! He knew he’d been forgetting something.
“Ah, shit. Yeah, the car was outta gas.” He lied, unsure how to explain what had actually happened.
“That’s your excuse?” The woman asked, hands on her hips. “And you couldn’t call the school or-” She stopped, letting out a frustrated sigh, “You know what, I have a lot I’d like to say to you, but I’m not going to right now. Not in front of Rachel…” She trailed off, turning to look behind her where the little girl had dropped onto the ground. “Rachel?”
“She does that a lot.” Lou nodded once, watching as the woman walked over and went to try and make the frightened child stand again. “Her mother said it was a phase, but I hope she outgrows it soon. It’s really annoying.”
The blond woman cut him a look. “So… Your car was outta gas. Was your phone out of gas too?” She asked, raising an eyebrow.
Lou bit his tongue. What was this bitch’s problem!? She had no idea what was going on in his head. He didn’t even know what the fuck was going on in his head right now!? It had only been a few months since Elizabeth died, and the last thing he wanted was for this woman to come into his yard and start shit! She needed to just hand over the fucking kid and leave already!
“Funny. No, smartass.” He growled, “I can’t get down to pay the bill without a car now, can I?”
“Hey, here’s a suggestion.” Said the woman who’d somehow managed to get Rachel into her arms. She was clinging to her like a monkey in a tree, head pressed into her shoulder and body visibly trembling. She was terrified. Lou had done that. “Since you’re having trouble with your car, and I go to the school every day with my own daughter anyway, why don’t we just let her stay with me for the rest of the school week? I mean, if that’s okay with you.”
Lou swallowed, looking back down at Rachel’s shivering form in the woman’s arms. Clearly he wasn’t in the right headspace to look after the kid right now. He hadn’t even remembered to pick her up for the past two days for fucks sake! As horrible as it sounded, maybe this lady was right. He couldn’t let them know how scared he was for himself though. He had to play it off like he was fine. He couldn’t let them know he was struggling. Couldn’t let them know he’d ever fallen in love with his wife. Couldn’t let them see that he was grieving.
“Well, I don’t see why not.” He shrugged, “It’d give me a break from the little gremlin. Sure, you wanna come in and pack a bag?”
This was good. He just needed a few days to get ahold of himself. He couldn’t let anyone know what he was going through, that he ever cared for his wife. He’d be fine. Everything was going to be fine.
…
End (for now)
—————————————————————————
“Oh he realised what he was doing was wrong so that means he’s gonna change right?” *LOUD INCORRECT BUZZER* Nope! If anyone thought that you have too much faith in him.
This is what happens when I let the angst parasites win.
So there we go! This was a sort of more in depth look at Lou in a way, going into how he thinks and views these situations.
I may write more stuff like this in the future mainly just because the thought of little Rachel is too cute to not write more about 😂.
Obviously if you want more info on anything mentioned feel free to message or comment or whatever or you can look at the little info posts I’ve posted in the past, just click on either Lou or Elizabeth’s tag and you’ll find them quickly lol.
Tags cause omg Sophie actually wrote something and finished it for once: @barclaysangel @nicascurls @morganandtheemorgana @sigyn-foxyposts @sayitwithsizzle @squidsharky if anyone else wants to be tagged in anything I write in future lmk
#Favourite thing I’ve ever written: Chickens pots#Kid dialogue is so cute#and so fun to write#killing Lou with rocks#chucky#chucky fanfic#miss fairchild#rachel fairchild#chucky au#lou fairchild#elizabeth fairchild#chucky oc
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Loved the first chapter in the third book. The entire time I wanted to knock Guy’s lights out. Looking forward to the next chapter!
Thanks for the love 💚 Making Guy as punchable as possible was the main goal and was really fun to write, so I'm glad it got through!
#answered#best laid plans#i actually really like guy gardner#he's such an asshole#and so fun to write#but he really does need a slap
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ppl were drawing mikus from all over so heres habesha miku and her lil twin sibs rin and len!!
#this trend sparked so much joy in my soul#i saw many fun cute and silly mikus#i love drawing habesha clothes but a lot of them require small detailed embroidery that makes me go insane#this is why ppl use pattern brushes cuz damn i had to simplify everything basically#also im bad at writing amharic and tigrinya oops!!#this was fun it got me outta a slump i was in all damn week#interestingly... their faces look a lot like my siblings and i? i didnt mean to do that at all tho... huh#my art#hatsune miku#kagamine rin#kagamine len#vocaloid
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the four steps between (best) friends and lovers
summary: Long-time best friends, it's not a surprise that it's you Steve comes to when he needs a fake girlfriend. One little white lie, one perilous family dinner, one evening of pretending to be a couple.
How hard could it be?
[ 12k + best friends to lovers + fake dating + fem!reader]



STEP ONE: THE PROPOSAL
"Be my girlfriend."
The glass held between your fingers slips and makes a loud bang as it hits the sink. The water from the tap pours over it, unaware of the incredibly unusual change in the universe that just occurred.
You tilt your head up, ignoring the lost glass, and raise your eyebrows high. "Come again?"
Steve huffs a little, as though you're the one being rather dramatic, and leans further forward across the island. His hands are planted firmly, his hazel eyes wide as he all but pouts at you. You're still grappling with where the hell that came from.
"Be my girlfriend. Please." He says. "For just one dinner, I promise. I swear I wouldn't be asking if I wasn't actually desperate."
You blink, clearly having missed a beat somewhere.
Frowning, you finally shut off the tap and rescue your abandoned glass from the bottom of the sink. You pick up and give it a quick once over for any chips. Scot-free, luckily.
"Okay, back up." You say, giving a small shake to clear your head. You make a face. "First of all, Harrington, ouch."
Steve sags a bit. "C'mon, you know that's not what I mean."
Not even a hint of a smile at your dig — which tells you he's probably pretty serious then.
"Secondly, what dinner is this? What could be so important that you have to show up with a faux-girlfriend on your arm?"
Steve properly slumps this time, a loud groan accompanying the languished movement. His forehead presses against the counter-top and you bite your tongue to avoid making an unhelpful, teasing comment about it. Instead, you refill the glass in your hand and wait patiently.
"I…" Steve begins, his voice muffled against the counter-top.
"MybrotherisintownwithhisfiancéeandI—"
"Steveeee," You interrupt as you give in to the urge, leaning over and poking him in the head. "If you want my help, please stop mumbling into the counter and tell me the problem."
He doesn't move for a moment, still face down, but you can see the rise and fall of his back as he sighs deeply. He shifts, twisting so his face is no longer hidden. It's noticeably pinker than it was a minute ago.
"My brother is in town next week." He explains. "With his fiancée. And my parents really love to kick up a fuss whenever he gets brought up, whether it's, yanno, like, about jobs and shit or whatever."
Steve waves a careless hand out. He rises from his slumped position, tucking his chin into the palm of his hand.
"And, like, this time it was about relationships. It was all," Steve's voice pitches up, whiny and nasally. "When are you going to get a serious relationship like Brandon, Steve? When are you going to settle down, Steve? When are you going to stop being a disappointment, Steve?"
He huffs another sigh, this one tinged with more defeat. You feel your face twitch in sympathy.
"So, just to get them shut up I…" Steve averts his gaze to study the counter-top suddenly. He draws an idle circle with his free hand. "I said that I was actually dating someone."
You take in his words. "But you're not."
"Thank you, genius. I had no idea." Steve straightens up with a scoff, throwing his hands out. Dragging them down his face, another groan warbles out of him.
"But now they're expecting me to show up to this dinner with someone — someone I'm dating — and I cannot admit I lied. So, please, be my girlfriend for one night."
You snort. His distress, a disaster of his own making, is just a tad bit funny. Just a little. A smidge. "Dude, chill. Just say your girlfriend is sick and she can't come."
Steve laughs mirthlessly. "That's like the adult equivalent of saying oh you don't know her, she goes to another school. No, I can't do that! C'mon, please."
His hands clasp together, raised in a plea.
"Think of it as one hugely, massive favour."
You take a moment to think it over.
"When is it?"
"This weekend, Saturday, 5 o'clock."
"Dress code?"
"Formal. Duh."
"How many people?"
"Uh, my mom, my dad, my brother, his fiancée. Maybe my uncle? Four or five."
Saturday was only a couple days away. He'd left it awfully late to ask—and you're not exactly sure who else would step up for the job if you said no. For the first time since he threw out the insane suggestion, you properly consider it — and feel your face screw up instinctively.
You? Pretending to be Steve's girlfriend?
Sure, to some girls that probably sounded like a dream come true, but it hadn't ever been like that between you and Steve.
You weren't even sure if you could picture it, being tucked under his arm, receiving delicate kisses on the head instead of noogies. Your nose wrinkles again at the oddity.
It wasn't like people didn't like to speculate — men and women can't just be friends, after all — but getting on Steve Harrington's kiss list had never really been a priority to you. Would you even be able to pull it off?
Your mind casts out to the girls that Steve tends to date, nit-picking as you try to think of what separated you from them. While Steve would certainly vehemently deny it, you're pretty sure you can pick a pattern out from the array of girls. A type that you certainly wouldn't see yourself fitting into.
Steve just… doesn't go for girls like you.
Steve, watching you closely, sees the hesitation sink in. He leans forward again, bargaining face on.
"You can veto every movie we watch for the next month."
You squint at him. Raise your chin an inch, forcing yourself not to smile too obviously. It's not often you get to see Steve looking ready to actually grovel for something.
He narrows his eyes, catching onto your deviousness. "Fine. I'll pay for your shakes for the next month, too."
You take another moment to think it over, exaggerating the hmmm sound you make. You tap your finger against your chin, indicating you're not quite convinced yet.
Steve leans further forward, his expression inching toward a bitchy disbelief. A muscle in his jaw twitches.
He looks as though he might start another slew of scoffing, his tongue pressed into his cheek, before he seems to re-evaluate what's at stake here.
He says, "I will drive you up to Indianapolis on—" He holds up one finger. "—one occasion when you ask."
Grinning, you stick out your hand for him to shake.
"You've got a deal, mister."
Steve sighs, his shoulders sagging in relief as he drops his hand to rest in yours. You give it a firm shake and just when you can see the thank-you forming on his lips, you tug his hand forward. You grin wider, almost taunting.
"I would've done it just for the shakes, just so you know."
Steve does scoff this time, ripping his hand back from yours. "You're an awful friend."
You bite down your smile, already dreaming of the free shake you'll be sipping all the way out to Indianapolis. You take a sip of your water and raise your brows at Steve over the lip of your cup.
"Hey. Don't you mean awful girlfriend." You wiggle your brows, not failing to see the hint of pink that colours Steve's cheeks.
Despite the colour in his face, Steve manages to deliver a long, unimpressed stare at you.
His eyes flick down your figure, clearly turning your words over in his head, then back up. As though he's actually realising what he's asked you to do.
He huffs another sigh, running his hand down his face. "Jesus Christ. This is an awful idea."
"Hey, it's your idea, not mine."
—
A stray blouse flies from the closet, landing in an unceremonious lump at the foot of your bed.
You toe at it gently, narrowed gaze travelling from the murky colour up toward the closet, to the perpetrator currently tearing your wardrobe apart. He doesn't even pause, hands still digging, almost resembling a dog burying a bone.
Sighing, you drop your head back, hair splaying against your pillow. The water-stain on your bedroom ceiling greets your sigh with silence.
You had thought that, while sure, yeah, the Harrington's are a fancy bunch, it ultimately wouldn't be that much of a hassle to step in as Steve's date.
You'd have to dig through your closet for the nicest thing you owned (and seldom wore) and you and Steve would concoct a ludicrous story that could be the next John Hughes film.
It would take an hour, tops.
A severe underestimation. Maybe the promise of one hugely, massive favour should've tipped you off.
"Are you being serious right now?" You moan from your place on the bed. You shift your head forward again, eyeing your best friend across the room.
Steve, still buried in your closet, makes a loud harumph in answer. His voice comes out muffled against the clothes, too swamped amongst the fabric. "—Y'know, this wouldn't be so hard if you actually had anything wearable in here—"
You make a noise of indignation, tipping your head further forward. Your necklace shifts, the pendant sliding down the chain and hitting the comforter beneath you.
"And just what are you trying to say?"
Steve pauses for a moment, his hands halted on a pair of coat-hangers. He leans out from the clothing and lets his head loll back, his hazel eyes forming a flat stare.
"Har har." Steve says sarcastically. He turns back to the closet, the coat-hanger in his hand scraping as he pushes it along, assessing each piece with quick, attuned eyes. "I'm just saying you have a lack of clothing that my mother deems acceptable."
He turns back for a second. "Which is a good thing, by the way."
You hum in agreement, letting your head flop back onto your pillow. You've seen the pantsuits Cynthia Harrington wears.
Steve continues his barrage through your wardrobe, making a noise of disapproval every couple of seconds.
You also can't say you had expected to get started so soon; as in immediately post fake-girlfriend proposal. It occurs to you that perhaps you've said yes to something bigger than you expected.
"You're taking this really seriously." You comment.
"Yeah, well," Steve reaches in and tosses another blouse, this one pale-blue, on the bed by your feet. "I know you've met my parents before but they're, like, different when Brandon comes around."
"Different?"
"Like worse. Way, way worse." He draws a line with a flat hand. "Brandon makes them just so—"
His hand curls up, forming a fist. He sighs, dropping it to rest on his hip. For a long moment, he stares into your wardrobe.
You push up on one elbow, brows knitting together. "Steve?"
Steve jolts lightly at your voice, torn out of his thoughts. He reaches out and plucks another blouse from your wardrobe, a maroon pleated one that you'd sworn you had thrown away. It's horrendous and definitely picked out by your mother. He turns and chucks it on the bed, crumpling atop the others and looks up at you, hands perched on his hips.
"Just, like, the smoother this dinner goes, the better, okay?"
You sit up completely, catching the seriousness leaking into Steve's voice. Damn. He actually sounds pretty worked up about the whole thing.
You smile, aiming for comfort. Even if you hadn't quite grasped what you had said yes to, Steve was still your best friend.
His parents were… difficult on the best of days. It was clear he was going for the least eventful, head-down approach as he could for this.
You could do that.
"Okay." You nod, more serious this time, eyeing the blouses on the end of the bed. You miss the relief that shutters across Steve's face. "We got three days til Saturday. What do you need me to do?"
"You can start," Steve says, spinning back to face your chest of drawers this time. His eyes flash over, with a hint of mirth. "By telling me if you even own a skirt that goes below your knees, you scandalous woman."
You laugh and get to your feet, wandering towards your drawers to pull open the bottom most one. Fishing around, you try to recall if you have anything church-worthy, tongue poking out your lips.
A hideous woollen skirt gifted to you for Christmas a couple years ago springs to mind. You shiver.
"Below the knee, huh?" You say. "You better start telling me about the role I'll be playing if I can't even turn up as myself."
You're only half joking. Your fingers curl around the scratchy fabric and you wrinkle your nose in recognition. Tugging it forward, it escapes the confines of your drawers and splays out with a sudden poof. You get the joy of remembering just how ugly it really is.
Twisting, you hold it up to Steve who has taken your place on your bed, laid back.
"Think this'll do?"
Steve's head perks up and he locks onto the skirt in your grasp. "Ugh, it's awful. Perfect."
You drop the skirt, abandoning it to take your place next to Steve on the bed. The springs creak slightly as your weight joins Steve's, the bed dipping and forcing you closer together. A smile sneaks onto his face.
"Okay, but for real," You jab a finger into the softness of Steve's side and he makes a little noise of complaint. "You've gotta tell me what I'm expecting for this, dude. It would be, like, catastrophically mean of you to send me in there blind."
Steve sighs — something he's really doing that a lot recently — and rolls toward you, propping his head up with one arm. The edges of his polo stretch as his bicep bulges. He frowns down at your comforter as he thinks.
"I don't know if I actually can prepare you for it." He admits, raising his gaze to look at you through his lashes. "Like, I think we're gonna have to just come up with a story and fend off the questions as best we can."
Another thought occurs to you. You frown. "Wait, don't your parents, like, know about me already?"
Steve's gaze darts away, this time staring at your comforter with a greater intensity. He gives a mirthless chuckle. "Yeah, well, that's why it'll work. They basically already ask me when we'll be getting together."
Your brows jump. A teasing grin taunts your mouth but you forsake it for a more helpful approach.
"Alright, then," You say. "Then let's do better than fending off the wolves. If I'm gonna be your fake girlfriend, I'm not gonna half-ass it. Let's knock the socks off your parents."
Steve's eyes jump up, meeting your stare and it takes another moment before he realises you're being genuine. You grin, poking him in the side again.
"And Brandon."
"Yeah?" Steve smiles. He sounds a tad awed at your dedication, his eyes roaming over your face gently. After a moment, he shakes his head, as if clearing his thoughts. "Okay. Uh, we have to come up with a backstory first."
"And it has to be one that your parents will believe too."
Steve nods, then pauses, a frown knitting together his eyebrows. "Wait, when did we get together? We can't have just started dating that's— like, almost as bad as showing up without a girlfriend."
You blink, perturbed. "What?"
"Oh, hey mom and dad." Steve says, his tone sardonic and flat. "Oh yeah, this is my girlfriend who I somehow started dating just one week ago, coincidentally just in time for this family dinner."
You cringe a little. He does have a point.
"Fine." You say. A little worry burrows into your brain — the longer you make your 'relationship', the more details you have to construct, to remember, and recall correctly.
You worry your bottom lip. "How long is long enough though? If it's too long, we have to remember more things."
Steve's mouth twists in thought. He gives a hmm.
"I think the last time you saw my parents was… sometime around New Year's Eve, right? They had that party, d'ya remember?"
You wrack your brain and find a memory with glittering fireworks and greasy hot-dogs. Steve had too much champagne and emptied his stomach into a bush. Faintly, the memory of passing by Mr and Mrs. Harrington fits in there— only for a moment.
"Yeah," You say.
Combing over the last years' events, you try to think if there's anything else you would've seen them at.
Graduation? You try to smooth out the wrinkles of that memory too; sunny day, sweltering gown. You hadn't remembered seeing Steve's parents there. "'Cos they didn't come to graduation, did they?"
"Nope." Steve says, popping the p. He rolls back to lie flat on your bed, folding his hands to rest on his chest. "What about after one of my basketball games? The final one of the season." He proposes, eyes tracking back to you.
You laugh without meaning to, spurred on by Steve's surprise.
"Really? At your basketball game? That's when the sparks went flying and we got together?"
Steve's mouth drops open an inch in offense. He throws his hands up. "What? That's, like, totally romantic." He defends. "Besides, it's a good reason for our friendship to have changed."
"You lost that game."
"I still scored!"
"Fine." You appease, laughing lightly. "We got together after you lost the last basketball game of the season."
Steve wrinkles his nose again. "Well, don't put it like that."
You laugh again, soft and light.
"Who asked who?"
"I asked you." Steve says.
You nod, carefully trying to commit the detail to memory. Your head spins as you try to think up the variety of different questions you might get asked at the dinner.
What sort of questions might his parents ask? Or his brother? They'll probably want to know the basics — how you got together, how it's going. You might get a shake-down to see if you're worthy of dating a Harrington.
Then, of course, there is the matter of ensuring you're a convincing couple. In love enough to be brought along to an exclusive family event.
That means… getting touchy. The thought sends a jolt through your stomach— will you have to kiss?
You bury the thought. You'll cross that bridge and have it's subsequently unavoidable, awkward conversation when you get to it.
You're not sure who'll you will have more trouble convincing; Brandon or Steve's parents. But from what you know of Steve's family, you'd bet none of them know him that well.
For all you know, this could well be a walk in the park. Maybe the easiest free trip to Indianapolis ever earned.
"What's Brandon like?" You ask, trying to get a better sense of who you'll be fooling. "Do you think he'll ask many questions?"
"He's…" Steve's eyes shift from you to the ceiling, his mouth forming a flat line. "An asshole, like my dad. He's got this amazing talent for getting under my skin. Which usually includes undermining just about anything I have going for me in my life. Or—" He gestures to you with a sigh. "—what I actually don't have going."
He rolls his head in your direction, his mouth twisted into a bitchy frown.
"He used to always rat on me to our parents when I was kid. He once got me in trouble for going to see Tommy just because he didn't want to walk me over. Said I disobeyed authority." Steve makes quotations with his fingers.
Your brows raise in disbelief. "Isn't he, like, fifteen years older than you?"
Steve huffs a mirthless laugh. "Yep. Told you, asshole. So, yes, he'll probably ask questions but I don't think he'll expect I'd do something as desperately pathetic as faking a girlfriend so hopefully we'll fly under his radar."
Reaching out, you whack Steve on the arm, relishing in his annoyed ow!
Eyes narrowed, you wait til he's looking at you with his what gives? face before you say, "What you're doing is not pathetic, nor is it desperate. It is an act of survival against your shitty family, okay?"
Steve stares at you for a moment before his shoulders seem to melt, the tension leaking from them. He flops his head back.
"Okay." He murmurs in agreement.
"Alright," You say. "Now, let's get this story straight. We got together at the final game of the season, which would mean we've been together for nearly…"
STEP TWO: THE ACT
Your legs itch and you fight the urge to readjust your tights for the umpteenth time.
Steve, in the driver's seat beside you, drums his hands against the steering wheel too rapidly to be casual. He keeps darting one hand to his mouth, teeth worrying at his thumbnail.
You'd reach out and smack him to get him to stop but you're beginning to feel the lurch of nerves yourself. The drive from your house to Steve's has never seemed so, so entirely too short.
"Okay, uh," Steve's throat clicks, clammed up from his silence for too long.
He hadn't spoken much when he had picked you up, other than to laugh at your joke at the mismatch of yourself and your prim outfit.
You'd ended up finding a double-breasted blazer in your mom's closet and you look almost ready to run as the local mayor. You're even wearing tights.
"We got together the 20th—"
"—of June, last year." You finish for him.
Steve nods, his face still facing forward. His eyes look a tad unfocused, even as he reaches out to adjust the collar of his dress shirt. "Right. So we've been together for, uh, about ten months."
You nod encouragingly, checking the details in your head. "You asked me out. Our first date was—"
"—at The Hawk." Steve cuts in, parroting off your memorised answers. "We saw Labyrinth and, uh, then I drove you home."
That part isn't technically untrue. You and Steve had gone to see Labyrinth together back in June of last year, but it certainly hadn't been a date. You find the details lend themselves quite easily regardless.
"That's when we had our first kiss." You remind him, even if it makes your face heat minisculy. "What did you get me for Christmas?" You quiz.
"Uh," Steve's hand rabbits against the steering wheel, nerves evident. He finally breaks his stare from the road to glance at you, his brows furrowed together, eyes worried. "Fuck, I can't remember."
"It's fine," You stress, waving a hand. "You got me tickets to Billy Joel and we drove out to Indianapolis for the concert in April."
Steve nods a bit too manically, his perfectly coiffed hair coming a bit loose. The houses flashing by the window gradually get bigger, fancier. He bites his thumbnail again and this time you do reach out and tug his wrist away.
"Thanks." He murmurs.
He turns the wheel, the engine droning as the car takes the corner to enter his street. Your nerves hike a mile higher and you tug at your tights fruitlessly again. The street is lined with nice cars — not unexpected for Steve's neighbourhood.
What is unexpected is the sheer volume. You and Steve peer out the car windows, eyes wide, as you take in the full street. When you swallow, your throat feels particularly dry.
You turn to Steve. "I thought they said it was a family dinner?"
Steve, his eyes darting from car to car, either trying to find a park amongst the packed sidewalk or maybe just panicking like you are, takes a moment to meet your eyes. He looks a lovely shade of chalky white.
"They definitely did."
There's a free space down the end of Steve's street, the driveway already full with two cars, neither you can recognise.
Steve's foot hits against the brake too abruptly and the car jerks to a stop, rocking forward. You grip the edges of your seat tightly as Steve kills the engine. For a moment, neither of you make a sound.
"What if there's more than just family in there?" Steve croaks, turning slowly to face you.
The paleness in his face has pitched toward something greener. He swallows heavily, twisting back to stare out the windshield and his hands on the wheel tighten. "Oh my god, this is— this isn't gonna to work."
"Steve."
"Valentines, we did Lover's Lake," Steve mutters to himself, eyes still out the window. "Fuck, this is so stupid."
"Steve," You try again. His own panic is worsening your own and if he continues to spiral, you fear you might never make it out of the car and you did not wear itchy tights for that to happen.
"You got me the Michael Jackson record for my birthday," He rattles off again, almost absentmindedly, as though his mind can't pick between panicking about trying to remember all the details or the apparent extra guests.
"This is— oh my god, we're never gonna convince them."
"Steve." You say firmly. His head snaps around, broken from his mutterings. He blinks at you.
You take a deep, exaggerated breath in. Steve follows instinctively, his shoulders rising as he inhales.
"We will convince them." You insist earnestly.
Offering out your upturned hand, you wait for Steve to shift to place his bigger hand in yours. When he does, your fingers curl around it, cradling it.
You can feel the rabbit of his pulse at your fingertips and you meet his eye as you say, "We know each other—really well. We're best friends. We've practised, we look the part, okay? Now, all we have to do is… be a couple for an evening. It's going to be fine."
Steve swallows and for a moment, he doesn't say anything. Then his breath bursts out in a release of tension, his hand finally squeezing yours back. "God, what would I do without you?"
"Crash and burn, probably." You tease, thankful when unease hanging on his frame is replaced by something more familiar.
Steve makes an appalled noise, tightening his grip on your hand so you can't pull it back. His other hand moves, his fingers dancing across the ticklish skin on the inside of your arm til you shriek out in laughter, yanking your hand back.
Your laughter seems to have dimmed the nervousness a bit. You glance over your shoulder, down the street, and track an older couple dressed primly entering the Harrington home. As you turn back to Steve, you swallow to gather your nerves.
"Ready?"
Steve doesn't look like he is, his shifting, unsure eyes and stressing hands. He pushes his palms against his slacks and takes a sharp inhale, before meeting your eyes. "Ready as I'll ever be."
You count the steps up to the doorway without even meaning to, arriving at the Harrington doorstep in approximately 47 steps. The maroon double doors before you seem taller than usual. Steve raises his hand to knock and then halts, his attention shifting to his upraised hand.
He quickly tucks it back against his side, except this time with his elbow held out for you.
A faint pang of surprise in your chest, coloured with something softer, nicer. You’ve seen somewhat what Steve’s like on his dates and you’ve certainly heard plenty of the aftermath. But you’ve never been on one, of course.
As you loop your arm to nook in his, you find yourself unexpectedly eager to find out exactly what it’s like to be Steve Harrington’s date.
Steve knocks on the door, then twists the knob and lets himself in.
Despite seeing the earlier guests, there’s little to prepare you for the room full of people that stand on the other side of the door. Moving on instinct, clinging to Steve’s arm, you step through the threshold and into the lion's den.
Your nerves fry. Never mind lion's den; you feel more like a fly caught in a web. Frog boiling in a pot? No, that doesn't work because you know exactly what you were signed up to when you said yes to Steve.
Well, not precisely. You survey the crowd, counting at least three times as many people as you were expecting with nervous eyes.
Your little white lie with Steve just graduated to having an entire audience. No pressure, right?
“Steven.”
The croon of Cynthia Harrington greets the pair of you.
You feel Steve stiffen up beside you, his shoulders rolling back, his entire body straightening up. His throat bobs as he swallows nervously.
“Mom,” Steve says. His voice is a bit dry and he swallows again. “You didn’t say there were going to be this many people here.”
He’s polite enough to not word it as an accusation. His niceties don’t work, bouncing off the painstakingly sculpted smile of a businesswoman.
“Please, it’s a networking event, I’m not sure what you expected.” She adjusts her diamond earring, swaying and heavy, as she speaks dismissively. “I told you this, Steven.”
You never hear anyone call Steve Steven other than his parents.
“No, Mom, you didn’t.”
There’s a barely restrained bite in his words.
That catches Cynthia’s attention. She stops her roaming gaze to focus on her son, not even glancing at you. After a moment, she gives an exasperated huff.
“Well, why else would we be back, Steven? Your father is trying to close business with Mr. Collings.”
The sting isn’t even for you — in fact, you don’t even think she realises she’s dealt it — but you feel it all the same. Steve’s arm looped with yours tightens, a minuscule motion.
Though you know he thinks they’re all assholes, it doesn’t stop Steve from hoping they’ll come back for him.
“Right.” Steve says, voice tight. “Sure. Of course.”
You’re just thinking about dragging him away from this barbed conversation, clearly pricking all his sensitive spots, when Cynthia’s sharp gaze slides over to you.
Her eyes gleam in recognition and her posture changes.
“Oh, is this the girlfriend you’ve spoken of?”
This time you’re the one who stiffens up. It’s momentary. You know that Steve’s likely freaking out too and at least one of you has to pull yourself together.
The most winning smile you can manage glides onto your face.
“That’s me.” You squeeze Steve’s arm with your hand. It's half in genuine comfort, half in show.
Cynthia regards you for another long moment before she manages to straighten up further, as though pinched.
“Oh! Yes, I recognise you. Remind me of your name, dear?”
It’s a struggle not to grit your teeth. Steve and you have been friends for nearing ten years now.
Still, you relay it politely for her. Your smile feels a bit wooden now.
“Oh, Steven. How nice.” Cynthia says, a touch of patronisation in her tone. Her beady eyes slice back to yours. “He had such a crush on you for the longest time, it’s—”
“Mom.” Steve hisses, cutting her off. Another unexpected jolt of something warm in your chest. Wait, really?
You chance a glance up at Steve. His ears are tinted pink.
You’re not entirely sure what to make of how that makes you feel, so you shelve it for later. Maybe when you’re not being thrown to the sharks by Steve’s awful parents.
Okay, too many animal metaphors. Falling asleep to the Discovery Channel last night is definitely taking its toll.
“We’re gonna mingle, find Dad.” Steve says hurriedly. He moves forward, past his mother, and tugs you with him. Your legs itch with the reminder of your scratchy tights.
“Alright, Steven. Make sure you say hello to your brother!”
Steve huffs, loud enough that you hear it, and you let him lead you through the throngs of middle-aged people. He stops when he reaches the kitchen, finally unwinding his arm with yours.
He does it so he can shove his hands in his hair, a stressed motion from Steve if you’ve ever seen one.
“God, okay, that went well.” He says sarcastically.
“Stop. You’re ruining your hair.” You reach up and rescue his lochs from his harsh grip, fingers around his wrists to tug his hands away. You’re far too aware of how long it had taken him to do.
Steve lets you. When you focus on his face, you notice the pink from his ears is also on his cheeks.
The question jumps off your tongue, unbidden.
“Was she telling the truth? About… the crush? Or was she just trying to tease you?”
The pink dips closer to scarlet. Steve sighs, his eyes closing for a moment.
“I— she- yes,” He admits. Your heart shudders at the revelation. Steve’s eyes open and he twists his hands so he can hold yours in them. “But, like, not now. In the past. Years ago, I promise.”
For his sake, you do your best not to take it too seriously. Even if you wanted to pry, now is not the time nor the place to do so.
However, you can’t resist a small, teasing grin. Steve catches it and his embarrassment gives way to exasperation instantly.
“You likeeed me,” You say in a sing-song voice.
Teasing is not unfamiliar in your friendship with Steve and getting to joke around, even at this strange party, feels nicer. Steve groans dramatically, his eyes closing and his hands pushing against your hands to shove you away.
A new voice interrupts.
“Liked? I sure hope he likes you now, being his girlfriend and all.”
You and Steve both snap out of your easy joking, remembering that you’re supposed to be presenting as a couple. Head turning to who had spoken, it only takes a couple of seconds for you to place who it is.
He looks a little bit like Steve, but not really.
The eyes are different, not as slanted and he hasn’t got any of Steve’s beautiful moles. But the nose, the mouth, put together with matching brown hair and tan skin, you know who this is without having to ask.
“Brandon.” Steve says. The name is stilted in his mouth.
Brandon smirks, his same hazel coloured eyes dragging a long, scathing once-over of his younger brother. He doesn’t look impressed, if his disinterested expression is anything to go by.
Then he does the same to you.
It’s almost tangible, the prickly feeling of his gaze raked over your body. Searching, hunting, nearly making you want to perk up to gain his approval.
God, Steve was right on the money. This guy is like his father but worse.
“The eye-candy of the month, huh?” He says to you, chuckling as if he’s made a joke.
You consider, then make the decision to throw all pleasantries out the window. You don’t smile back.
“Actually, Steve and I will be coming up on one year soon.”
Tangling your hands back together as you say it, you lean into Steve’s side. It’s warm, smells of his cologne. Only when you gaze up at him, do you let a smile grace your lips. It’s soft and genuine.
Steve smiles back down at you, crooked and lovely.
“I’m surprised anyone could settle him down,” Brandon continues and you turn back to him, fighting the urge to narrow your eyes. It doesn’t escape you how he’s jumped from one slight dig to the next.
He’s clever with it. Polite enough that Steve can’t exactly bring it up as an issue.
Brandon continues, swirling his crystal tumbler of whiskey idly. “Surprised he wanted to. Little bro always seemed like such a womanizer. Didn’t think he’d want just one chick.”
He leans in and socks Steve on the shoulder, hard, when he says the word womanizer. He’s grinning.
You have to admit, Brandon’s far too good at this — good at getting under your skin. If you hadn’t been forewarned of his behaviour, if you actually were Steve’s girlfriend, it would certainly rub you the wrong way. He’s certainly doing his best to sprinkle grit and strife between you two.
And you know it hurts Steve to hear — Sure, maybe when he was a thick-headed freshman, with no clue about the world, he had acted that way.
Nowadays... Anyone who knows Steve, even a little bit, knows he wants the real deal, more than anything.
“Not anymore,” Steve says, though it’s not nearly as confident as he usually is. He clears his throat and casts his gaze around. “Where’s Ariel?”
“Ah,” Brandon hums, looking around himself. He takes a long sip of his whiskey. “Not sure. I think I left her in conversation with the Erickson’s from across the street. She’s been pleading with her eyes to be saved but hey, she’s gotta learn sometime, right?”
Your lip curls up in distaste before you remember yourself. Fingers intertwined with Steve’s, you clutch them tighter for some semblance of strength.
You’ve got to get the two of you out of here before you start outright sneering at this man — which is very much not the heads-down approach Steve had asked for.
“Babe,” you say, effectively dismissing Brandon’s comment as you look up at Steve. He looks down at you and squeezes your hand. “Can we grab a drink, please? I’m feeling thirsty.”
Steve murmurs his affirmation and you both turn back to Brandon to bid a polite goodbye. His left eye twitches just once, the only indication that he’s put off by your subtle rejection.
“Well,” Brandon fixes his features, his smirk sliding back into place. “Don’t let me keep you. What was your name again, sweetheart?”
“I didn’t say.” You say, forcing the politest, more nonchalant expression on your face. You let him stew in the awkwardness, waiting for him to break and ask.
He doesn't. Brandon just smiles, though this time it doesn’t quite reach his eyes. He holds out his hand and despite how you don’t want to, you place your own in it to shake it.
“Well, it’s been real nice getting to meet you. I hope I’ll see more of you later tonight.” He smiles like a promise. His grip tightens in the handshake.
You grip his hand tighter, matching his strength, and for the first time in the whole conversation, you match his perfectly fake smile.
“Not if I see you first,” You say, spoken pleasantly enough that the meaning of your words doesn’t sink in until you’ve pulled back. You urge Steve somewhere, anywhere that’s not here.
“C’mon, let’s get that drink.”
There’s a punch-bowl out in the living room, thankfully. Displayed next to it is a large jell-o mould, arsenic green, and jiggling gently whenever someone bumps the table. Rich people stuff, you assume.
You eye it curiously as Steve quietly ladles a cup for you, then himself.
The punch is pineapple flavoured but peachy in colour. You sniff the cup Steve gives you hesitantly before you take a small sip. It’s nice. Mostly juice.
You peer up at Steve over the next sip and the cup hides your near hiccup of surprise when his hand slides along your waist. His hand, warm and large, settles on the small on your back and urges you closer.
“That was— wait, this is okay, right?” He pulls his hand back an inch, hovering over your waist. You nod without having to think about it.
“Okay,” He sighs in relief, resting it back down. His thumb moves, soothing along the fabric almost absentmindedly.
He grins at you, “That was, like, amazing to watch. The whole —not if I see you first— just, god, his face. Amazing.” His hand on your waist squeezes lightly. “You’re amazing. I didn’t know you could be so snobby.”
He says the last word slightly too loud and you laugh, worriedly stealing a glance around the room. No one’s paying you much mind. You do notice, however, that Brandon’s meandered into the living room now.
You sidle closer, tucking up under Steve’s arm.
Surprise touches Steve's features; his brows raising a bit, lips parting, and cheeks colouring that ruby colour once more.
It’s as if, despite all your previous agreements, he’s forgotten that you’re supposed to be acting like a couple.
As if he’s forgotten that couples act like this. In love, that is.
“Are you finding this weird?” He murmurs, volume control on this time. It’s said just to you, muffled into your hairline.
From afar, you think it might look like he’s kissing your forehead.
You take another sip of the punch, peering at his dress shirt, and consider his question. It’s not weird, per se. You tell him as much.
“I think it’s just new,” You look up at him — closer than you usually ever see him. His lashes are long and spidery. His hazel eyes are lighter under the lights. “Just different to what we’re used to. It’s… nice, I think.”
“You think?”
You expect Steve to tease you for your own unexpected soft answer but instead, his response comes out with a strange reverence.
If you had to pick a word, something traitorous would maybe call it hopeful. Wait, traitorous? Wait, hopeful?
"Yeah," You shrug a little, no big deal. "I mean it's not that much different from how we already are, right? Just a little more..."
Steve's thumb swatches along your back, more intentionally this time.
"Touchy?" He provides.
You nod and pretend the strange acknowledgement isn't making you feel a tad more flustered.
The touchiness is really quite nice. It’s sweet to have an anchor in this freaky social situation, very much unlike the aforementioned and abandoned Ariel. Steve’s hand on you is a grounding touch, a constant soft reminder of the person who has your back—literally.
And the person is Steve — which, again, isn’t really that different from what you’re used to. He sorta always has your back anyway.
You suppose it hasn't really crossed your mind before, not in depth at least, the small changes that would occur if you and Steve really did date.
How different would it really be?
Chin tilting up, you slyly steal a look at him as Steve scans the party. He's probably planning escape routes, jaw clenched subtly. He's clean-shaven, not a whisper of that stubble that you think suits him rather well.
Would you still be friends, if the two of you dated?
The question feels silly the moment you think it, even if it's only spoken in your mind. You wrinkle your nose lightly and hide it behind another sip of punch. There's an easy answer to that.
Of course you would. It's like you just said: not that different from how you are now. Same teasing dynamic, same loyal history, same sharing embarrassing secrets and same driving around doing nothing, loving it.
Just more. More of this.
Steve squeezes your side warmly, his head twisted to look back down at you. He's asked you a question you realise.
"Hm?"
"I was asking how long do you think it's acceptable to wait to fake a heart-attack to get us out of here?”
Amusement draws your eyebrows up. You grin up at Steve. "A heart-attack? At your youthful, healthy age? C'mon, Steve, they'll never believe it."
Steve's expression twitches closer to bitchy as he considers your rebuttal. You take another sip of punch. He relents.
"Fine. What else? I’m not above faking haemorrhoids.”
The punch in your mouth comes back out in a surprised splutter, thankfully landing mostly back in your cup. A drop of it streaks down your chin.
Your surprise quickly morphs into a glare, eyes shifting up to deliver it to your best friend.
The shit-eating grin on Steve’s face tells you that his timing was not accidental.
“You’re unbelievable,” You hiss because what happened to the polite, head down, and not eventful approach that Steve had all but pleaded from you?
He reaches for a napkin for you without asking — and then tugs you in closer with the hand around your waist, brings the napkin up to your face. He hovers, giving you a moment to realise what he’s doing, before he dotingly swipes away the streak of juice.
“Careful now, honey,” He says, giving the petname a teasing intonation.
How he managed to pick the petname that does actually make your heart perk up in your chest is beyond you. Maybe he knows you better than you think.
“Oh, that’s how it’s gonna be?” You ask, brows raised, pretending to be annoyed. Your bitten-back grin gives you away. “Making me spit my punch and then just sprinkling in a petname—”
“—like you didn’t do that first, with Brandon in the kitchen.” Steve interjects. He crumples the napkin and drops it back on the table.
“Okay," You say. "Fair."
"We forgot to discuss that, actually," Steve says. He sounds casual but he looks away, studying the punchbowl rather intently. "What... like, do you like to be called? In a relationship?"
It is an oversight both of you managed to miss, which makes you feel a little foolish now. You focus on the question.
"I like honey," You admit gingerly. A tepid smile threatens at your lips and when you look up at Steve, he's already turned back to watch you closely. "It's a bit old-fashioned. Sounds more like something you say if you're married but...I think it's nice."
"Yeah," Steve says softly. "Me too."
Something hums brightly in your chest at his gentle expression, his fondness zeroed in only on you. You break his gaze to swallow, your mouth suddenly dry.
"What about you?"
Steve chuckles. "Don't like babe."
"Too late."
“Yeah, well, obviously.”
There’s a beat and you think if you’ve ever had this conversation before. Sweetened preferences didn’t usually make it into your gossip sessions. This is new territory.
“I like sweetheart too,” Steve says, somewhat offbeat. As if he’d thought for too long if he’d say it or not.
He peers down at you, a scrunch in his nose. “Not like Brandon says it though. He might’ve ruined that one for me.”
“He can ruin this dinner, but not that.” You decide for him. “C’mon, sweetheart. We look like we’re stealing all the punch.”
Using your hand in his, you lead him away from the punch table and weave through the people milling about the living room. A touch of resistance makes you glance back. You can see a pink glow painted on Steve’s cheeks.
Your feet come to a halt, twisting back to properly face him. You can’t resist the urge to tease. “Oho, you weren’t kidding- you do like that one.”
“Oh, shut up,” Steve murmurs, his tongue pressed into his cheek and his eyes narrowed.
“I don’t believe I raised you so poorly as to address a lady like that, Steven.”
You jump at the intrusion, realising you’d unluckily managed to stop right beside Mr. Harrington. Fuck, why are all of Steve’s family so good at sneaking up on you? You chalk it up to their snakeish tendencies.
“Dad.” Steve says hurriedly. Then, with a quick swallow, he corrects himself. “I’m sorry, sir.”
Mr. Harrington is not what you’d call an impressive man. Sure, his suit is tailored to fit and you have no doubt his overwhelming cologne costs more than three paychecks combined — but in substance? He lacks. Severely.
You’ve met him thrice.
Every time, you wonder how someone as wonderful as Steve, can come from someone like him.
Though, it certainly explains the god-awful ‘King Steve’ phase Steve had gone through in his freshman and sophomore year. You shiver at the memory.
“It was warranted, Mr. Harrington, believe me,” You jump in to move the attention of Steve’s father back to you, easily shouldering the blame. A smile, cool and collected, graces your face. “I was teasing him, after all.”
Mr. Harrington grunts in disagreement. “Hardly an excuse to speak so crudely, especially in front of guests.”
Opening your mouth to defend him again, Steve speaks first. “You’re right, sir. I apologise, it won’t happen again.”
Steve still shoots you a thankful glance. You clamp down your half-formed response and squeeze his hand instead. He squeezes back.
Maybe the two of you should’ve learned morse-code with all the squeezing you’re both doing. You hadn’t anticipated holding his hand for this long.
You could let go. You don’t really want to — and you’re pretty sure, neither does Steve.
You can’t remember the last time you held his hand.
“Your new girlfriend, I presume?” Mr. Harrington nods to you.
Steve barely gets a moment to respond when his father is waving him forward, stepping back to open a circle of middle-aged men behind him.
“Come, there’s a few associates I’d like you to meet, Steven.”
There’s no question, only a demand. Despite how it feels like stepping into a pit of vipers — damn you, Discovery Channel — you and Steve join the circle.
“Gentlemen,” Mr. Harrington addresses the four men before you, a wry smile on his face. “My son, Steven.”
Then, as an afterthought, with a glance your way. “And his girlfriend.”
“Oh? Not fianceé?” One of the men speaks up. He’s balding, his hair combed over in an attempt to cover his ruddy coloured scalp.
“I’m afraid you’re thinking of my other son, Brandon.” Mr. Harrington says, words suddenly imbued with a proud tone. Steve’s hand grows rigid in yours, though you don’t think he’s even noticed. You send a squeeze back.
A different man speaks up. This man has all his hair, but also has a pot-belly that threatens to send buttons on his dress shirt flying.
“Ah, well, fianceé to be, I bet.” He says, speaking directly to Steve and ignoring you. “Soon it’ll be the ol’ ball and chain. Enjoy your freedom while it lasts, son.”
Then the fucker winks at you—as if you’re in on some big joke. A deep, miserable pity dawns in you for their wives.
“Actually,” Steve begins. There’s an edge in his voice.
You glance up at him concernedly — sure, these guys are douchebags, but you know that. Throwing in the polite and heads-down approach in front of his father might be the worst timing ever.
“I’m not sure what you mean.” Steve says. The bite in his voice has receded and instead, he sounds calm. Polite. “My girlfriend is one of the best things in my life. She’s smart, talented, beautiful— and why she chooses to waste her time with me is a mystery to me.”
He speaks as though he believes every word he’s saying, a hundred percent. You realise you’re holding your breath when Steve turns to look down at you. His hazel eyes are soft, genuine.
“She makes me a better person. She’s… She’s my best friend.”
The line between your genuine friendship and this fake concocted act blurs entirely — and suddenly, you can’t tell what is real and what is not.
Worse, you’re not sure which you'd prefer more.
Does he really think all those things about you?
Steve, who should probably, definitely take up an acting gig after this, plants a quick, nimble kiss on your forehead to sell his loving words.
He turns back to his father’s business friends.
“Believe me, if I ever get so lucky as to marry her, I’d be the ball and chain.” He chuckles. “Not the other way around.”
You’re still holding your breath, heart stuck somewhere halfway up your throat. The businessmen before you show varying amounts of surprise and annoyance—none more of the latter than Mr. Harrington himself.
It doesn’t matter. Steve’s said it all in that perfectly polite way that’s so often been used against him. Something within you glows hotly with pride.
“Now, gentlemen, if you’ll excuse us,” Steve says politely. He drops your hand to re-link your arms once more, then nods to them. “I need to reapply my haemorrhoid cream.”
You’re pretty sure Steve turns you both away from the conversation as fast as he does, knowing that you’re gonna laugh. You do, his last sentence so unexpected it turns your laugh into this foul half hacking, half coughing noise.
Steve pats your back, expecting it, raising his voice as he walks you forward, “There, there.”
There’s a little smugness in his tone. You wait until you pass back into the front hall — now Cynthia Harrington free — to unlink your arms and smack him on the chest.
“Asshole!” You exclaim, but you’re already laughing. Steve’s laughing too, the sound bright and honeyed amongst the dull murmur of the event. God, the looks on their faces.
“I didn’t think you would actually do that.”
“Hey, it got us out of the conversation, didn’t it?”
“Yes, but,” You worry your bottom lip between your teeth, gaze falling from his for a moment. “I mean, won’t your dad…?”
Steve sighs and then shrugs. “I think I’m done trying to impress people like that. If you’re not up to standard to them, why the hell would I care about their opinion of me?”
Your heart feels a little wobbly at that. Steve has always been devastatingly earnest; it’s just less often directed at you. The two of you are used to teasing.
You fall back on it. “Awww,” You coo, gripping his forearms and leaning forward with a coy grin. “You got haemorrhoids for me, honey? That’s so romantic.”
Steve narrows his eyes, trying and failing to suppress his own smile.
“Hey. Fake haemorrhoids, thank you very much.”
“Eh, what’s the big difference?”
“One is my bleeding heart, the other is my bleeding ass, is the big difference.”
He can barely get through the sentence before his laugh takes over. You dissolve into laughter too, cheeks beginning to ache with the force of your grin.
“Steve? Leaving so soon?”
The sweet bubble of laughter around you and Steve pops at the sound of Brandon’s voice. He’s in the doorway that leads to the kitchen and at your attention, he steps toward you, slow and deliberate.
“Yeah, actually,” Steve says. His eyes track Brandon with every calculated step his brother makes til he stops, a few metres from you both.
“Y’know, I heard that hasty exit in front of dad. Did you know that was in front of Mr. Collings? Y’know, the one guy dad’s trying to close a deal with?”
Shit. You swallow heavily. You didn’t know that. You know neither did Steve.
Beside you, Steve grows tense. When he swallows, you hear his throat click from dryness.
Brandon watches and revels in the tiny reactions, his smirk growing. He tucks his hands into his suit pockets casually.
“I talked with mom, too. Learned some interesting stuff, especially about your pretty lady here.”
He nods to you, hazel eyes slicing across to meet yours. Your nerves start to stand on end, something threatening in his calm demeanour setting you off. You grip Steve’s forearms tighter.
“That she is the best friend you’ve been mooning over all these years. And I just thought—” Brandon clicks his tongue. “Man, what are the chances that we don’t hear a thing about you two getting together until this conference? Crazy timing, if you ask me.”
He tilts his head to the side, examining the two of you closely. His smug nature is far, far too much like that of a predator toying with its prey.
“It’s like- wait, no—”
Brandon cuts himself out, fishing a hand out his pocket to gesture to you, grinning smugly like something is funny.
“Is he paying you?”
You recoil back, so baffled and taken aback by the cruel mockery Brandon jumps to make of his younger brother. To make of your best friend.
“What the fuck is wrong with you?” You snap.
Brandon blinks, surprised, and a bit of his smugness dries up. He draws his hand back, holding it up defensively.
“C'mon, like it's not just the kind of pathetic move he’d pull. I haven’t even seen the two of you kiss.”
He chuckles as if the idea is ludicrous.
STEP THREE: THE KISS
You act without thinking — turning back to Steve, your hands reach up to tightly grasp the collar of his dress shirt.
You see Steve’s hazel eyes widen ever-slightly, then you’re pulling him down, pressing up on your toes, and kissing him.
And… oh.
He’s not half bad at that, you think. It takes Steve a moment, but then his arms circle your waist and after a tentative moment, he kisses back gently, deepening the kiss. Not bad at this at all.
For one brief, precious second, you’re kissing your best friend.
And it's entirely incomparable to any kiss you've experienced before—immeasurable in passion and utterly undoing in a thousand ways.
Steve breathes a little heavier, his cheeks flushed, when you break away. You sink back down off your tiptoes, hands dragging off Steve’s rumpled collar to rest on his chest. You turn to face Brandon.
He doesn’t look so smug anymore. He looks ticked off. Good.
“Brandon, you’re an asshole.” You state plainly. “I hope one day, soon, your fiancée realises what a cruel and shallow bully you really are. And I hope she leaves you for it. Truly.”
The ticked off expression on Brandon's face veers closer to aghast and offended—as if he can’t believe you have the gall to speak to him that way.
“I hope you realise what a stain you are on other people’s life and I sincerely hope that I never have the displeasure of meeting you again.”
Moving to grip Steve’s hand in yours, you move towards the door without a goodbye.
STEP FOUR: THE AFTERMATH
It’s bright outside. Stepping out feels a bit like waking from a stress dream, where in reality, the sun is shining and things that were driving you nuts aren't really problems you actually have.
You stall on the front doorstep, where you were just an hour or so ago.
Well, that didn’t go… awfully, you think. In fact, you’re feeling quite happy with serving Brandon a perfect brand of his own medicine.
You’re about to open your mouth and say as much when Steve drops your hand, brushing past you to head down the stairs, “C’mon, let’s go.”
Your stomach drops at the tone of his voice, a prickly disappointment draped over his words. You’d think you’re reading into it — if Steve wasn’t currently heading for the car, not even waiting for you to catch up. A dead giveaway.
Tights itching from the hasty movement, you quickly follow him and puzzle for a moment. He’s mad. But at what? It takes only a moment to hazard a pretty good guess.
Before the dinner, the awkward conversation of how touchy you two would be had been breached. You and Steve both agreed; no kissing. Even with how close the two of you were, it felt like strange territory to cross into. An unspoken line not to cross.
By kissing him, you’d broken that rule.
Guilt wells up within you. Your moment of telling Brandon to suck it suddenly feels tainted by the sliminess of kissing Steve without permission. You pull at your tights uncomfortably, trailing behind Steve on the sidewalk.
As you reach his car, you swallow the lump in your throat, and speak up.
“I'm sorry, okay?"
Steve, who's reached the driver's side door, looks up and over the top of the car. Then furrows his brow.
"What?"
"For..." The word gets stuck in your throat like wet paper. "Kissing you when we said we wouldn't do that. That was-" You inhale sharply and study the trim along the edge of the car window.
"I just really couldn't stand how he was talking to you. And I thought that would shut him up."
You glimpse back up at Steve. He's softened a little at your words, the crease between his brows gone now. His eyes dart away, a muscle in his jaw working tightly.
"Yeah, well, you were right. It worked."
Steve seems to hear how short his words sound right after he says them, especially as you rear back an inch. He gives a sigh, his eyes falling shut for a moment. "Look, I'm not mad about the kiss, okay?"
His particular wording isn't lost on you.
"But you are mad." You press.
"I'm not."
You step closer to the car, desperate to understand. He is mad but he's not mad about the kiss? Does that mean he is or isn't mad at you?
"You sound mad."
Steve makes a sputtering noise, like he's torn between denying it or not. You catch it, pressing your hands against the car window to lean in even closer.
"So, you are mad. At me? Are you sure it's not because of the kiss?"
“Yes. No." He's furrowing his brow again, confused between how to answer your question correctly. He pinches the bridge of his nose with another sigh. "It’s- no, I'm not mad at you.”
Still not an exact answer. You eye him warily, your guilt still lingering at the front of your chest, aching painfully. It forces out your next words, reminiscent of a rambling apology. You take a step back from the car and begin to pace.
"It's okay if it is the kiss, Steve. I- I mean, we said we wouldn't and I broke that- and I don't want you to ever feel like—"
“I just— I didn’t want our first kiss to be like that!”
That halts your pacing, feet quite suddenly rooted to the spot. You turn rapidly back to Steve, your eyes wider than they were a moment ago, heart jammed back up your throat. Did he just say...?
Steve realises what's escaped him a moment after you do. His hand leaps to cover his mouth as if he can smother the secret he's just let slip.
His eyes crush closed. He smushes his hand against his face more forcefully as though he's trying to push the words back into his mouth.
"What does that mean?" You ask softly. "Steve?"
He clears his throat, dragging the hand down and off his face sluggishly. "That, ah, no- nothing!" He deflects, hands making a crossing motion. "It means—zilch. I just, ah, you know- it's—"
He's thought about it before—about how he'd want a first kiss between the two of you to go.
A glow in you dissolves, the saturated sweetness of it riding through your veins like a sugar rush. You have a sudden wish you weren't wearing such a ghastly outfit for this conversation.
"Steve," You interrupt him. You round the front of the car slowly, stopping with still some distance between you. Let him meet you in the middle. If you're right about all this, that is.
"If there's even a small part of you that wants to do that again," Your breath shudders at your inhale. "You need to tell me."
"A small part?" Steve echoes your words, his tone incredulous. He rounds the car to meet you, his hands out in front of him, flexing into fists. "Don't— don't say what I think you're going to say, if you don't mean it."
He pauses in front of you, eyes blazing with a fierce emotion as he stares down at you. He studies your face and then groans, tipping his head back and burying his hands in his hair.
"It's a big part, y/n. A huge fucking part of me wants to kiss you again and has wanted to for awhile." Steve stresses. His hands sag down from his mussed hair to hang off his neck before he gestures back to the Harrington house.
"What I said in there? About my crush on you being ages ago? I lied. I've had a crush on you for years and I don't think I ever stopped and so if you don’t mean what I think you mean, please don’t… Don’t give me hope.”
There's desperation in his final plea.
A thousand emotions course through you, all competing for your attention. You squint incredulously at Steve, half tempted to sock him for the feeling of a kept-secret. You're best friends for gods sake. Years. Years, he said.
A tremble takes your heart. You open your mouth and try to find the right words.
"Wha... You never said anything."
It comes out a little insulted.
Steve stares at you, flabbergasted. "You never seemed interested!"
"I didn't think I was your type!"
Though it seems impossible, Steve's eyes widen further, his hands shifting to hold out before him, fingers spread wide.
"Are you saying you've thought about it before!?"
"No!" You exclaim, suddenly stressed. You run your hands across your face agitatedly. "I mean, yes. Of course, I've thought about it before!”
Your fingers splay against your cheeks, pulling an expression not unlike the painting The Scream. You're not sure you've ever been this stressed, this undone before.
“Every day through fuckin' high school someone asked me if we were a thing. I just... hadn't, like, considered it til today. Properly."
"Okay, okay," Steve breathes in deeply.
He brings his hands together, clasping them, and he rests them against his forehead. For a second, he stares at the ground before he meets your gaze, dropping his hands.
"And... now?"
Fuck. Right. Cards on the table, you guess.
"Like," You don't know where to put your hands now. They drop off your face and hang loosely at your side. "I told you, I hadn't really, like, thought about it — but we were in there and it just wasn't that different!"
It's a heavy effort to keep yourself looking at Steve. There's no decoding the expression on his face, not when you're already frantically trying to unscramble your own feelings.
"If we did actually, yanno—" You stumble over the words, a fierce and bumbling heat flaming your face. "—date and be—I don't know—boyfriend and girlfriend, like, I guess what would actually change? And now I think we've just been one step removed from dating this whole time!"
Steve takes an almost quivering breath in and takes a step forward, bringing you both closer. He asks the million-dollar question.
"Would you... want that?"
"I," You flex your hands anxiously. "I don't think we can go back to the way things were." You say truthfully.
Something crestfallen ripples across Steve's face. It's hidden away in the next second. You gulp involuntarily. You feel so nervous you can feel it's fizzing inside you, bubbling like a freshly carbonated drink.
But more than that, it feels like you're balancing on the precipice of something good. Like waiting for news on whether you get something you desperately want.
And there it is; the true revelation.
"And I don't think I want to."
The admittance hangs between you, strung out and tinged with your apprehension and Steve's disbelief. He stares at you, brown hair tousled and messy, pink lips parted in his surprise.
He's your best friend and he's been waiting all this time. Holding the torch quietly, the flame flickering low sometimes, but always burning, always for you.
How the hell did you miss it?
"You..." He croaks. He reaches up and tugs at his tie as if it's suddenly too tight around his neck. "You mean that? You'd want to, like, date me?"
What you really want is to kiss him again. To chase away the tender look of disbelief in his eyes with a passionate press of your mouth against his. But you won't kiss him without asking twice in one day.
"I would like to try," You say. It takes a lot of courage to not lose your nerve. You rock up onto the balls of your feet to let out some of the rampant nervous energy.
Steve clocks it, some part of his brain that knows you, and all your tells well, finally coming back online. You're as nervous as he is, and maybe just as unsure.
But you want to try.
That's about all Steve's ever wanted. A chance for more between you.
He closes the distance between you, his hands shifting up and sliding along your neck to cup your jaw. It's ticklish enough to make you shiver and Steve smiles at the motion. He draws your faces closer and you push up on your toes to reach properly, magnetically drawn in.
He pauses just before your lips can touch.
Your eyes scan his face and he does the same to yours, both of you drinking in the intimate closeness. This close, you can see the tiny quiver hidden in his lips.
Fondness percolates between you, sweeter than sunlight and softer than a daydream. You can't resist the smile that toys at your mouth. Steve smiles too.
You're excited.
His pupils are blown wider than usual, only a ring of hazel around them. It might be your new favourite colour.
"I imagined," Steve murmurs lowly, his eyes now trained on your lips. "Our first kiss would be more like this."
The kiss is different from the one in the hallway. There's no surprise in it, no hesitance — Steve cradles your face between his hands preciously and kisses you so fiercely you ache.
He kisses with painstaking reverence. With an unfaltering adoration. Steve kisses you as though he envies anything that's ever touched your lips.
You grapple to find purchase on his suit jacket, your fingers curling around the material and pulling him closer without breaking the kiss. Steve hums into your mouth, his nose pressing against yours. You're both trying to pull each other closer.
"That was-" You breath heavily against his mouth as the kiss breaks. Your eyes open. Steve's gazing at you through his lashes, honey-eyes doting.
"You-" You try again, realising you haven't finished your sentence. You can barely get a word out, a relentless grin overtaking your lips. "I mean—you thought it- like that?"
"I hoped." Steve whispers. He's grinning too, not yielding any of the nearness between you. His thumbs on your jaw swatch softly across your skin.
God, he'll undo you entirely. This newness, this intimacy, it's ruining you. You capture your bottom lip with your teeth and bite it meanly to try to contain your grin.
"So, like, you wanna try? For real?" You say, matching his whisper. Speaking too loud feels like it breaks the moment—and you want to savour it as long as you can.
You can't even imagine how Steve must be feeling, waiting all those years. You take your feelings and multiple them tenfold. It's dizzying. It only endears you even more.
"Like, being boyfriend girlfriend?"
Steve's eyes crinkle in happiness as he scrunches them closed for a moment. His nose scrunches a little too at the motion. He takes a deep inhale and opens his eyes.
"Dating, boyfriend girlfriend, sweethearts, I don't care what you call it." He breathes. "Yes. Yes, to all of it."
Then he kisses you again, stealing the affection off your lips with an ardour that threatens to make your knees weak.
You kiss and kiss until you and Steve are both smiling too much to properly continue.
Only a couple days ago he'd asked the same question you had asked him, except as a begged request to help his ruse. He's the only one you'd have said yes to, you know now, the only exception.
One can only wonder how the two of you would have carried on if you had said no — never gone along with his frankly ridiculous plan, never showed up on his arm to fool an event full of people, never kissed him just to piss off his brother.
Never known the true depths of affection Steve held for you.
As you crowd in closer — your lips skimming across his gently, hearing the hitch in Steve's breath before you kiss him once more— you're thankful you'll never really know.

taggin some peeps below! @illyrianbitch @headkiss @brettsgoldstein @spideystevie @djotime
@katsu28 @inthehystericalrealm @djarinova @cheugyphobe @sunshinesteviee
@sunlitide @citrinesparkles @bigfrogs
just ppl that either expressed interest in the preview or i thought would enjoy! <3 i don't know what possessed me to pick this draft up and straight up like double the word count and finish it in one day but whew,,, i enjoyed that sm
#if u think this has nick & jess energy from new girl you would be correct; i took insp from their first kiss hehe#heavy inspo tehe#steve harrington#steve harrington x reader#steve x reader#steve harrington fluff#steve fluff#steve harrington x you#steve harrington imagine#steve harrington fic#steve harrington fanfiction#best friends to lovers#fake dating#getting together#ruby writes steve#I HAD SO MUCH FUN I HOPE IT DOESNT FLOP#also yessss i did reuse a line from a different fic in this one no one point it out pleek
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[insert poetic title here]
fun fact: this did not start out as isat fanart
(rambling in tags)
#I was actually doing some personal writing and when I read it over a few days later I could only hear it in loops voice#speaking of which#i totally recommend watching ShortOneGaming's playthrough of the game#their voices for the characters match so well in my mind i can't separate them XD#also i have no clue why but this took FOREVER#I had the thumbnailing and paneling done so quickly but my motivation to finish it just left me midway through the third page T-T#Even though this is one of the shorter comics I've made (AND NO COLOUR) it somehow took my like twice as long -3-#loop is so fun to draw!#well actually fun to colour would be more accurate lol#also did you know that a keyknife was an actual thing??#I wanted to check if their was an a visual asset of it in the game only to find out they're just everyday objects you can own???#maybe im just seriously out of the loop lol#and i know the buttons are wrong but i was already mostly finished inking by the time i realized so lets just say its a stylistic choice#isat fanart#isat spoilers#sasasaap spoilers#two hats spoilers#cw body horror#??? i think#comic#artists on tumblr#fanart#digital illustration#digital art#isat#isat siffrin#isat loop#in stars and time spoilers#my art#my comic
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sometimes all you need is one passionate person who goes berserk for your work to keep you creating
#I have 1 person like that with my jn and 1 person like that with my joshaz and their aggressive acclaim means I’m writing more 😂#I mean there’s a few more of y’all too and I have said before I enjoy niche but big passion#I’d rather share in those with the handful of genuine enjoyers of Very Specific ships and dynamics#it’s what makes fandom so memorable and fun for me#anyway#rebloggable
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Smau: "I want you back." ☹️❤️🩹
The guys getting you back after a breakup. ♥️
(nanami, geto, choso, toji, sukuna, and gojo)
contains: angst w/ happy ending, fluff, a bit of crack
a/n: thank you all so much for 100 followers! here's a little treat. 🥰










#gojo's was fun to write lol#sukuna's too. just hella dramatic.#jjk smau#jjk#jjk x reader#choso x reader#geto x reader#gojo x reader#jjk fake texts#jujutsu kaisen#jujutsu kaisen smau#jujutsu kaisen x reader#sukuna x reader#nanami x reader#jujutsu kaisen fluff#jjk fluff#also really#tysm for the support so far#<3
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attractive things they do while you're dating
pairing: batboys (plus clark lol) & reader ❀ׄ ꥈ
𓍢ִ໋☕ cassidy's note: for funsies. not edited. i love reading variations of these. i haven't written since 2020. if you can like this, reblog too.






bruce 🦇ᡣ𐭩˚.
navigating paparazzi: the careful way he guides you to block the flaring flashes from cameras with his broad shoulders.
bruce wraps his fingers to pull on your waist, tugging you further behind him, ensuring no shots of you are taken on what was meant to be a private night out.
despite the urgency of the situation--his face still stays controlled and imperturbable, but his grip is firm to reassure you, as he leans down and mumbles in your ear, "just a bit farther, the car's close," before his voice cuts through the cries and shutters lowly: "we're done here."
listens intently, and remembers every single detail about you, despite whether you think it's significant or not for him to know.
bruce stores your favorite shampoo and conditioner in his bathroom when you stay the night over.
and when you're sitting on the edge of his sink, removing his makeup from under his eyes, you notice it sitting amongst his own body-wash and pine scented soap.
but when you ask him about it, he simply shrugs and waves it off.



dick 🏙ɞ♥️*
teaches you self defense: his hands gently curl over yours to demonstrate how they should look before you throw a punch.
his touch is light, "keep your thumb on the outside", dick's finger taps the inside of your palm, "if you keep it inside, you'll break it--not fun."
he whistles when you hit him solidly in the side with a wide grin, despite the force of your blow, "better."
insists on helping you put on all your jewellery and shoes.
he turns you around, and pulls your hair to one side of your neck, before fiddling with the clasp. he's clumsy at first, but eventually gets the hang of it the more he does it. his hands linger on the slope of your neck for a moment longer than necessary.
later, as you reach for your shoes, he beats you to it, kneeling in front of you. dick's motions are all exaggerated as he does it.
your hand cards through his hair when he's looking up through his lashes after he's fastened the straps, and kissing the inside of your calf slowly.



jason ❤️🩹⋆。
reads on public transportation: jason pulls out a beat up paperback he picked up from a secondhand bookstore from his back pocket. it has dog eared pages and a weathered spine.
there's a baby crying on the train, but he doesn't seem to notice as he flicks a ringed finger to the page he last read.
he pulls a pencil from his jacket pocket, and traces a line in a passage--a part he thinks you'd like. when he leans forward, his shirt rides up a bit so a strip of his skin is visible to you.
doesn't wipe your lipgloss from his cheek.
the shimmer from it stains his cheek after you pressed a kiss to it. you go to wipe it with a laugh, reaching with your thumb, and jason catches it mid-air. "you've got glitter on your face jay, people are gonna-"
"next time, wear red."



tim 🪽❥˚
gnaws at his lip as he concentrates.
the hum of the keys click in the batcave and papers rustle. tim's focus is sharp as he attempts piecing together his newest case, and his teeth catch in his bottom lip. an unconscious habit.
you can't help but tease him about it, "that's a terrible habit to have, you know that?" you lean against his desk."it helps me think."
sure enough, he does it again. "you're gonna chew your lip off your face one day." his lips curve upwards at your observation, but your gaze was now intense as you observed his lip in his teeth, and before you can state another snarky remark, he shoots you a knowing look before pulling your belt loops, and kissing you.
wears your hair tie on his wrist. it was never really ever a big deal. one day you handed it to him while getting ready for bed one night as you pulled out your ponytail and he snapped it onto his wrist without much thought. now, it's routine. it doesn't matter where he is exactly, if tim's at a gala or in a meeting or out in gotham on patrol, the hair tie is around his wrist.
you heard him cursing from the other room when he misplaced it once.



clark 🌟.*☆
saves you a seat, always: whether it's evenings in or out, clark always makes you feel like you're the most important person there.
it's not something that's said but understood, as he pulls the chair next to him, letting it be out long enough for you to get comfortable, before gently scooting it inwards.
when you eat, and when he thinks you're not looking--clark will adjust your plate, and glace over at your water glass to make sure it is filled. and if you want extra bread, don't even worry because he kept an extra piece on his plate for you.
pushing his glasses up. there's something kinda charming about the way he does it that you wish you could explain it better. it's absentminded, he does it a lot!
when he's looking over articles or reading or just talking to you. in the elevator, he'll lean forward to look over the numbered floors, and they won't stay in place, sliding down the bridge of his nose. you don't say anything, but smile slightly, and he'll return it goofily and with more teeth, before he asks, "what?"
tags: @retvenkos
#holy gyatt this was fun#bruce wayne x reader#the batman#batman x reader#dick grayson x reader#nightwing x reader#jason todd x reader#redhood x reader#tim drake x reader#clark kent x reader#superman x reader#dc x reader#i need tim drake#cassidy writes#dc#x reader#im in love with clark too he's so sweetie
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At the Emperor’s Word -Viktor x Reader x Jayce

Summary: Sneaking around the academy after hours sounds like a good idea right up until you get caught; then, it becomes a great idea.
Pairing: Dom!Viktor x Sub!Reader x Switch! Jayce
Word Count: 6K
Warning: Explicit (PwP)
Tags: Threesome, Kissing, Handjob, Voyeurism, Obedience Kink, Praise Kink, Slight Cuckolding, Edging, Degradation, Dom/Sub Dynamics, Masturbation, Voice Kink, Vaginal Fingering, Lap Sex, Light Punishment Kink, Big Dick Viktor, Pet Names, Begging, Slight Choking, Vaginal Sex, Teasing, Rough Sex
Notes: A little fashionably late, but here is my absolutely filthy piece in celebration of Viktor’s birthday 🎉!! Viktor, my dearest, thank you for being my beloved husband and the devoted father of our many children. Glorious ovulation everyone ✌️💕.
You try to stifle a chuckle.
“Jayce, we can't-”
He's warm, so warm. You always feel yourself melt under his touch.
“C'mon, just a minute…” he insists.
You can't help but giggle breathlessly as he brings your hand into his pants, a large hand wrapping your fingers around his already half-hard cock. His body presses yours against the workbench, the firm wood digging into your lower back. His other hand slides against the fabric of your skirt, cushioning the strain, and not so subtly placing his palm over your ass.
He nuzzles his face against the top of your head, letting out a pleased groan when your fist starts moving. You suppress another laugh, trying your best to remain quiet, but you're positively enamoured of those sounds he makes when you touch him. Without even seeing his face, you know the content smile hasn't left his lips; he's so easy to please.
He's twitching under your grip, gripping your cheeks to the rhythm of the strokes. You quicken the pace, and he lets out a low moan that echoes through the empty lab.
This wing of the academy is always empty at this time of night, but there's something exciting about having to stay quiet. You can feel how close he's getting, the slight rutting of his hips a now familiar sign. His breath hitches, he's almost there, just a little more-
“I hope I am not interrupting anything.”
You yelp in surprise, pulling out your hand from Jayce's pants so fast your arm hits the wooden desk behind you. Jayce lets out a confused, frustrated shout at the sudden loss of friction as you wince in pain.
There, at the entrance of the lab, stands a looming figure, holding one of the large doors partially open. The light from the corridor obscures his face from the darkness of the lab; but there is no mistaking who this silhouette belongs to.
Viktor makes a single step forward, the metallic sound of his crutch against the tiled floor making you wince, as he lets the door close behind him. The room falls into obscurity again, the pale glow of the moon and the distant city lights only faintly shining through the windows.
“Ah, Viktor!” Jayce almost bellows in an overly cheery tone, walking backwards to put some distance between the two of you. “I- We were waiting for you! Got a bunch of interesting notes about today's experiments to show you !”
Viktor's face is blank, his eyebrows slightly furrowed in cold annoyance. He is neither amused nor does he seem the believe Jayce's jovial act. He nods curtly at the other man's pants, which are obviously, painfully unbuttoned. Jayce cringes as he quickly stumbles to reattach them, sliding the buttons in the wrong slits. You're frozen in place, eyes wide in fear, incapable of looking away from Viktor's frigid expression. But his focus is not on you; it's on Jayce.
“So,” he starts loudly, not bothering with whispers, “You barely spend any time working in the lab anymore. You have not even checked any of the upgrades I have suggested for the hexgates in the last month.” His voice is apathetic and dry, and his eyes narrow when he says the next words:
“And this is what you've been up to?”
Jayce opens his mouth like he's ready to argue, but the glare from his work partner seems to change his mind. He lowers his head silently, like a puppy being scolded. Viktor's golden pupils slide to you, and you now understand exactly why Jayce prefers looking at the floor.
“From Jayce I could expect,” Viktor remarks, the weight of his stare making you shrink, “but from you? I'll admit I'm disappointed.”
You bow your head in embarrassment. Your cheeks are burning, and you know there's no way to pretend like this is only a misunderstanding. You wish you could vanish on the spot.
Jayce, always the hero, comes to your defence quickly: “Viktor, it wasn't her idea-”
“I'm so sorry sir,” you interrupt him, stepping forward. You know Viktor well enough to recognize he's not a fan of poor excuses or avoiding accountability. “I swear this internship means the world to me. I know how many other students dream of working on hextech. It won't ever happen again.”
He seems pleased by your answer, although his expression stays perfectly stoic.
“That's good to hear,” he hums, walking closer to the both of you. He stops a few feet away, a ray of moonlight passing through a coloured beaker catching in his auburn hair. It illuminates him in an eerie, reddish glow, like he's not quite human, almost a phantom. “Well then, do not let me stop the both of you. Keep going, as you were.”
You have to assume he's joking, even if his tone sounds anything but, and you let out a confused, nervous giggle. But he isn't laughing, and neither is Jayce.
“Viktor…” there's uncertainty in the taller man's voice. It's not fear, or alarm, but he's apprehensive about something.
Viktor lets out a small sigh of lassitude, discontent evident. He looks at you again, with these amber eyes that make you feel like the world around you vanishes. Like there's nothing but him, and the words about to leave his lips.
“It would appear my partner is suddenly hard of hearing. Were my instructions unclear to you as well?”
You swallow. Your lips feel dry. Jayce is still unmoving next to you, still as a board, watching your interaction with his lab partner with an uneasy look.
“…No sir,” you mutter, just loudly enough for both men to hear. Viktor gives you the shadow of a smile.
“C'mon Viktor, you've humiliated her enough,” Jayce argues softly, raising his hand in a gesture of peace. But the other man has clearly decided Jayce hasn't gained his favour for the night, barely sparing him an icy glare.
“I do not believe I was talking to you,” he states matter-of-factly. The man of progress makes a strangled sound of protest, clearly insulted, but Viktor seems to have all but forgotten about him, now. It's back to only you and him, and the teasing smile dancing on his lips.
“He's always like this. Begging for attention,” Viktor tells you in a tone of confidence, like the topic of the conversation isn't standing less than a foot away from you with a baffled look on his face. “One has to wonder if he is compensating for something, but I figure you are in a good position to tell, right?”
You can’t prevent the corners of your mouth from lifting at the underhanded jab; Viktor seems emboldened by your reaction, voice louder when he continues:
“I certainly hope he's been more of a gentleman to you than this. Or does he only bend you over in our lab like an animal?”
The comment is enough to pull Jayce out of his stupor, and he raises his arms in protest.
“Hey, I'm not that-” he starts heatedly.
“Jayce.”
It's just his name; nothing else. You've said it to him hundreds of times. But there's something different in the way Viktor says it, the slow pronunciation of the syllables, the hardness of the accent, the deepness of the voice. Whatever it is, Jayce is compelled by it just as much as an order. He stops right in his tracks, his arms falling uselessly back to his side, like a dog listening to a command.
Viktor hums in approval, but his stare is no less punishing.
“I was not talking to you. When it is your turn to speak, you will know.”
Jayce's mouth is slightly agape, his eyes wide, an expression you can't quite read on his face; but he obeys. He stands there like a puppet, unmoving, drinking Viktor's words. You can't help but notice the still present strain in his badly buttoned pants.
The thinner man's gaze softens once more as it falls on you. He makes another step forward; close enough that you could reach him with your hand if you tried. He looks at you encouragingly: “Answer the question, sweet thing.”
The room feels like it's shrunk to barely a tenth of its size. Your breath has become shallow without you noticing. But isn't quite from fear anymore.
“T-twice in the lab before,” you stutter, the embarrassment of recounting your adventures to your direct supervisor burning your cheeks. The arousal in the air is undeniable now, and he's visibly aware of it. “And in the library. Once in my bedroom.”
Viktor hums pensively, studying your answer. It almost feels like you're passing some kind of final exam; the world's most sexually charged exam, undoubtedly.
“So he is aware of the basic notion of privacy behind closed doors, then,” Viktor concludes, the thin smirk now fully on display. “Who would have thought.”
He doesn't look away from your eyes when he finally speaks to the other man again.
“Jayce. How close are you?”
You glance at the taller engineer; he's started palming himself through his pants, his breathing irregular. His hair is dishevelled from your previous activities, and his cheeks are a bright crimson against his caramel skin. He's usually so dominating, on top of things, handling you like a chiffon doll up and down his dick with that cocky smile of his. You've never seen him like this; flustered, desperate, seeming so small despite all of his stature.
“Pretty close,” Jayce almost moans out, voice raspy for exertion. He's biting his own bottom lip so tightly it might start bleeding. “Just a little more.”
Viktor finally gives him a slight smile, though it's dripping with self-satisfaction. He's close enough to you that you can smell him now, that you could brush away the wayward strands of hair on his forehead. His face has been marked by the passage of time and countless hours of work, heavy bags under his eyes, cheeks almost gaudy. And yet, there is no sign of him ever losing control of this moment. Nothing could change the hypnotic power of his eyes, the controlling tone of his voice, or the subjugating effect of his slightly crooked smile.
“I suppose we should oblige,” he suggests lightly, his free hand brushing your cheek. His fingers are thin and lithe, cold against your skin, and you lean into the touch. He gives you a moment to pull away, if you want to; but you don't.
The kiss is slow at first, gentle, just the way little girls dream their prince charming might one day give them. He lets you decide when to pick up the speed, and you initiate after a few seconds by slipping your tongue in his mouth. It's messier, now, teeth clashing every now and then, saliva pooling where your lips meet. He tastes nothing like Jayce, his flavour of dark coffee and fresh mint; Viktor is sweet, like milk and honey, like a slice of lemon cake in the summer heat.
When he pulls away for air, you feel like time has started to move once again, as if you've just emerged from a dream. He's smirking confidently, still, but not entirely unfazed; his pale cheeks have turned pink, his breathing is slightly laboured, and there are traces of smudged saliva on the corners of his mouth.
A foreign whine makes you both turn towards Jayce, who is clearly on the edge of orgasm. He's abandoned any pretence of innocence, his cock fully pulled out of his pants as he rubs it furiously, eyes locked on the two of you.
“Stop,” Viktor only says.
Jayce groans in frantic frustration, slowing his rhythm but incapable of removing his hand. He's harder than you've ever seen him, his tip almost a painful red.
“No, no, c'mon V, don't do this. Please keep going,” he begs, looking at you with pitiful eyes, pleading silently. You want to touch him, to let him touch himself. But you know it's not your decision; it's Viktor's. And he's made his ruling, so you're not about to get on your research director's bad side again.
The head engineer offers a proud smile at your lack of answer to Jayce, the kind he usually reserves for reports submitted in advance or ingenious schematics. You recognize him more like this, strict, but never unappreciative of your efforts. He never forgets to slip a word of encouragement when you're stuck, never hesitates to reread your notes with you when the math isn't quite adding up. The cold anger seems to have fully passed, and now only the teasing, taunting satisfaction remains.
“I believe you may have forgotten that as per her contract, she is my assistant. Meaning she is under my direct command.”
He's looking at Jayce now, whose hand is still wrapped around his length, but unmoving. His cock is twitching in his grasp, desperate as the rest of him. His whole body shifts to the rhythm of his respiration, large shoulders slumped in defeat. Viktor doesn't turn to you when he asks you the following question, choosing instead to stare deeply into Jayce's citrine eyes.
“Is that not correct?”
You don't hesitate with your answer this time.
“Yes sir.”
His focus is still on the other man, but he strokes your cheek again with his left hand. He rests his weight comfortably on his crutch, like he doesn't have a single worry in the world in this moment.
“Good girl.”
You feel yourself tighten at that. That voice could tell you to find a way to harness the power of the goddamn stars before figuring out the hexcore, and you would comply.
“Jayce, could you bring the chair over here? The larger one.”
Viktor points with his chin towards a wooden chair with a flat backing, in a corner of the lab. Jayce looks back and forth between the chair and his partner, like he's unsure if he's joking or testing him. When no additional directions come from Viktor, he sighs in discomfort, clearly disgruntled, unceremoniously shoving himself back in his pants to go fetch the chair. The thinner man hums in appreciation when he brings it back and places it next to him.
“Thank you, Jayce.”
He sits, using his crutch for balance as he shifts slightly to find a comfortable position. His hand leaves the burgundy handgrip, instead settling on the metallic upper section. He looks like the king of a forgotten kingdom, resting on his wooden throne, sceptre in hand. You and Jayce, his obedient consorts, can't do anything but await his next command.
It comes in the form of a simple motion of his hand, beckoning you closer. You only stop when your legs bump against his, standing above him. His fingers caress the fabric of your skirt studyingly, like he's committing the feel to memory. They eventually catch on the waistband, tugging it questioningly. His golden eyes look up at you, the colour of the sunrise etched in his pupils. You nod earnestly in approval, and he lowers the skirt down until it reaches your knees, letting it fall to the floor. You're suddenly very thankful you dressed up this morning knowing you would see Jayce.
The design is simple, a line of flowery lace hugging your hips, and curving to the shape of your ass. It's the kind of thing Jayce loves; he'll even make you keep your panties on sometimes as he fucks you, just pushing the bottom of the fabric to the side to fit himself inside you. It's the lace he can’t resist, you think, the way it barely covers anything and rests against your skin like a present for him to unwrap.
It doesn’t seem to have the same effect on Viktor, but you can tell he’s still appreciative, cold hand sneaking under the lace to squeeze a cheek firmly.
“This is fucking torture,” Jayce groans in complaint, standing still just barely a few feet away. He's obviously aware he's not supposed to interfere with the two of you, or to touch himself for relief, but the glistening sweat on his forehead and down the prominent vein on his neck indicates how difficult this is for him.
“And you should know better than to have sex next to a table covered in explosive materials and one-of-a-kind prototypes,” Viktor retorts, sparing him a slightly displeased glance. “What if you had broken something irreplaceable?”
Jayce seems genuinely embarrassed by that; he may not show it as often these days with how busy he is, but you know he still cares about the academy's research and the state of hextech.
“I'm sorry Viktor. I wasn't thinking…”
“I am aware you were not thinking. And that is exactly the issue. You forget how much of our profession relies on thinking, not talking.”
It's crystal clear that's going to be the end of the conversation, for now. Viktor's fingers slide to your hip, following the shape of the panties until your inner thigh. A small tap with a single digit tells him everything he needs to know.
“Look at this,” he smiles, taunting but affectionate, “Already so wet just from a kiss. Or was it the sound of my voice that did it, I wonder.”
Both, it's both, and every single thing that has happened in this lab since he entered it. You tremble when his finger moves slowly against the damp fabric, not quite oversensitive, but a little on edge.
“I, um-” Jayce hesitantly speaks up from the side. “I fingered her a bit earlier. I… think she should be alright?”
This time, Viktor doesn't reprimand him for talking; he seems surprisingly pleased, eyes boring into yours for confirmation.
“Is that so?” he exhales softly.
You nod breathlessly. Why is it always so difficult to talk when he's studying you like this?
The teasing finger slips under the fabric, gently making its way into you. You let out an involuntary sound of eagerness as he verifies if you've been loosened up, analyzing you with the precision of a machine. He removes the digit with a crooked grin when he judges you've passed, and you whine at the loss; it was barely anything in the first place, but it soothed the feeling of total emptiness in your core.
“Color me impressed,” Viktor declares, half genuine, half mocking. “I do not think I have ever seen Jayce do his work in advance.”
Said man groans in defeated complaint:
“You're turning her against me.”
Viktor lets out a wry snort:
“You do that well enough on your own. You touched her without even making her cum?”
He pats your pussy comfortingly, and you almost sing to the feeling. Your panties get lowered swiftly, and you discard them with little decorum. Viktor's assertive expression has softened enough that you feel emboldened enough to try to join in the banter:
“Jayce thinks foreplay is watching him get undressed. He's not exactly an expert.”
Viktor laughs at that, a charming and genuine sound, and you feel yourself glow with pride. The topic of mockery doesn't seem as pleased, his cheeks red, his lips thin:
“See? Told you. You've already worked your fucking magic on her.”
Viktor starts unbuttoning his pants, the teasing smile still etched on his angular features. His fingers work nimbly, swiftly, with the precision only the best engineer in Runeterra could muster in such circumstances.
“It is not magic, Jayce. Simply talent and practice.”
He does quick work of lowering his pants, just enough to expose his underwear. The confirmation that he is indeed not as unbothered as he still may seem is poking through the fabric. Judging by the defined outline and the sizeable tent, you can instantly confirm a hypothesis you've had since the start of your internship: the Assistant to the Dean of the Academy is packing.
He's not unaware of it either; his golden eyes follow the movement of your own, playfully examining your reaction. It's different from Jayce's endearing ego and constant need for praise; Viktor knows his worth, but he revels in the admiration, the stares filled with awe and devotion.
If Jayce needs to feel worthy, then Viktor needs to feel wanted.
He finally frees his cock from the restrive fabric, letting the member bob slightly. He's not even fully hard, and he's huge, the length imposing, the bulbous tip a pleasant shade of pink. The skin is as pale as the rest of him, blueish veins marking it like porcelain; only a few well-trimmed auburn curls at the base remind you he's not sculpted from actual marble.
Jayce lets out a low, tentatively playful whistle as the other man’s slender fingers wrap around the shaft.
“Flattery will not get you far, Jayce,” Viktor comments absentmindedly. “You and I both know this is nothing you have not seen before.”
He moves his hand in an open, loose fist, evidently without any real intent to finish himself off; not with the way he's made you stand right above him, not with how he's looking right at you. You swallow with difficulty, licking your lips for moisture. The energy between the two of you is tangible, electric, as he keeps working himself tantalizingly slow.
“Darling. Sweet thing. Do you want this?”
You nod vigorously, the words stuck in your throat again.
“Tell me, then. Please. Tell me how much you want this,” he requests, and it's hard to tell whether that's an order or a plea with the way his voice lowers, just barely louder than a whisper.
You feel like you're high, your mind a jumbled mess of adrenaline and lust. There are no sentences that could possibly express how he's got you under his spell. How many times have you imagined a scene like this, in only a year of being his assistant? The stolen glances, the passing touches, you had no reason to believe they were anything more than figments of your lustful imagination. The very idea that he could be the one doubting your interest in him is laughable, and yet his gaze is probing you for a response, his lips parted with bated breath.
“I want this. I want you,” you swear to him, staring back so deeply into the amber irises there could not be a single question left. “Please, sir.”
You bring a hand to the crook of his neck; the coolness of the skin under your palm, the sharpness of his collarbone against your fingertips, the beating of his heart below your thumb. He has to know this is real.
Viktor smiles slightly, the little mole above his lips shifting alongside his dimples.
“I would ask you to be weary of my right leg, then. It is not quite as strong as it used to be, although that is not saying much.”
You've never seen the emotion that crosses Viktor's face in that moment, gone in under a second. It's so subtle one might have missed it; bitterness, regret, defeat. The tragedy of a man brilliant enough to change the whole world, but who wouldn't live long enough to see it. If Janna truly watches over the lost children of Zaun, then she is turning a blind eye to the brightest of them all.
You could say something, try and comfort him, but you choose not to. There's nothing that can be said to change things; there’s only the present, and there are only actions.
You sink down on him slowly, the both of you moaning in unison. You can't help the array of whines escaping your pinched lips. The heat from where your bodies meet is overwhelming, the stretch delightful and filling. He's not fully inside you and you're already wondering how much more you can take. It's dizzying, the pain making you grit your teeth, but you persist, fingers clenching on the back of the chair. When you've fully bottomed out, you let out a shaky breath you hadn't realized you were holding. Viktor soothingly pats your back, and you hang on to him for dear life, wrapping both arms around his back.
“Are you alright?” he whispers softly, worry evident in his voice. You want to answer, but you're quite certain if you open your mouth you'll only get confused gibberish out, because fuck, he's filling you so much it's hard to even think. You shift your grip to his shoulder blades, trying to anchor yourself, absentmindedly noticing the cool feeling of metal under his uniform. You trace the intricate patterns with your fingers to ground yourself, recognizing the shapes of bolts and screws, as you feel your breathing slowly even out
“I’m ok,” you eventually manage to exhale. “I just- need a second“
Viktor makes an understanding hum, his hand caressing the valley of your back like you're doing with his, his strokes mellow. He moves his head slightly to look at Jayce behind you, throwing him an irritated glare.
“So much for your preparations,” he points out with irony.
Without needing to see him, you know exactly the kind of disgruntled face Jayce is making: “She only needs three to fit me, you're just stupid big.”
“I can move,” you interrupt them, the pain now only a vague tingle; all that remains is the yearning for him.
You place both hands on the back of the chair to balance your weight, being careful of Viktor's weaker leg. You bring yourself up slowly, tantalizingly, before letting yourself fall back on his length. There's no other way to describe the broken moan you release than dirty.
“Eh,” Viktor remarks slyly, groaning when you start moving again. “S-she does not seem to think it’s stupid.”
You fuck yourself on him with abandon, fast, rough, not caring of how debauched you may look. If anything, Jayce seems very appreciative if his moans and curses are any indication.
“Fuck, baby,” he pants somewhere behind you, too far to feel his warmth, but close enough to hear he's pumping himself to the same rhythm you're riding Viktor. “You're doing such a good job taking him, princess…”
He's truly begging when he calls the other man's name again, delirious from the unending edging:
“V, please, make her turn to my side, I have to see her face.”
Viktor's hooded eyes bare into yours, his raspy pants echoing through your head as you thrust up and down his length.
“Do you think he is truly sorry, now?” he asks, the ever-teasing glimmer in his pupils shining despite the clear physical effort from his body.
You can't even remember what Jayce has to be sorry for; you whimper a positive ‘huh-uh’. Viktor nuzzles his head in the crook of your neck for a moment, gently bitting the sweaty skin in a surprising hint of possessiveness, but he does finally agree to free Jayce of his torture.
“I will trust your good judgment. You can come here, Jayce.”
You yelp in surprise when two strong but familiar hands suddenly grab you at the waist and turn you around, almost pulling you off Viktor's cock and into a messy kiss. The slight tickle of Jayce's stubble is pleasantly itchy, his tongue desperately searching for more of your taste. You moan wantonly against his mouth when you feel Viktor twitch inside you, but the man under you doesn't seem fully pleased: a thinner but firm hand brings you back against his chest, and he throws Jayce an irritated glare.
“I give you an inch and you take a mile. Typical,” the older man accuses him with a bitter tone, his accent more pronounced, rigid. “You do not get to touch, and you are only allowed to cum on her.”
His lips come to your ear in the ghost of a kiss, velvety smooth:
“Would that be agreeable to you, sweet thing?”
You just know you want to keep going, really; so you do exactly that as a reply.
This position is harder for movement, since without the support of the chair’s back, you would have to rely on putting pressure on Viktor's knees. Thankfully, with Jayce’s proximity, you can use his muscled chest for balance. He certainly doesn't mind being used like this if the expression he’s wearing is any sign: his entire face is crimson, his eyes heavy, laboured breaths escaping his abused lips. He's still following your pace, pumping up and down every time your ass meets Viktor's hip bones. It has to be painful by now, with the way he's been rubbing himself raw for so long without release, but he's either too entranced to care or getting off the burning friction
“So obedient,” Viktor praises you, his free hand moving to your lower stomach, long fingers digging gently into your skin; you wonder if he’s trying to feel himself move inside you. “We might still be able to make a top student out of you. What do you think, Jayce?”
Much like yourself, Jayce seems beyond the capacity for words. He's looking at you like he wants to devour you, like he wants to take you off Viktor's lap and fuck you right on the floor. But you both know he wouldn't do that without Viktor's approval, at the risk of getting on the other man’s bad side again.
Viktor's cock hits a peculiarly sensitive spot inside you and you cry out from the sudden shock, loling out your tongue involuntarily. Jayc makes a strangled sound at the sight, and it visibly takes all his self-control to not shove himself into the warmth of your throat.
“For once, I cannot get you to talk when I actually want you to,” Viktor tsks in disapproval, but it's clear he's not frustrated; rather, he seems to enjoy the trance-like silence Jayce has been reduced to.
“F-fuck, I think this is the hottest thing I've ever seen,” the younger man sputters, delirious, his fist moving with a frenzied pace. “I can see your cock in and out of her every time she bounces like that. Her tits look so good…”
You recognize that slight pitch in his voice, the rumbling in his throat; he's close again.
“What else?” Viktor hums, not letting him have a moment of respite. You can hear ragged gasps next to your ear, parts of heaved curses indicating he too is nearing his end, but he's still firmly insistent on being the one in control of it all.
Jayce whines in struggle, but it's hard to hear with how loud the sound of your own moans echo in the room. You've been using Viktor's cock to hit that one spot over and over, chasing your high without restraint, the familiar clenching of your walls maddening.
“She looks all fucked out. Like she -fuck- like she's so close to cumming around you…”
The other man seems pleased by that if the way you feel him twitch inside you is evidence. “Good observations,” he replies in playful irony. “Perhaps there is still a scientist in there.”
The hand on your stomach leaves its comfortable position to wrap around your neck, the pressure light, just barely restricting airflow.
“Sweet thing,” he calls out to you once more. “You can pick up the pace a little. I want you to never look away from Mr Talis's eyes.”
It's a hard request to fulfill considering how badly you want to squint your eyes shut in the agonizing pleasure; but you try your very best, unshed tears of exhaustion starting to pool and blurying your vision.
The sight of you so desperately trying to obey Viktor's order to focus on nothing but him is what finally undoes Jayce, who lets out one final loud curse:
“Shit-!”
He cums all over your academy blouse with a shout, little droplets reaching as high as your chin. It barely takes three more thrusts against Viktor for you to join him, crying tears of relief as an intense wave of bliss rocks your entire body. With your limbs reduced to nothing but putty, your head falls forward in exhaustion, thankfully stopped by Jayce's strong torso; the fabric of his dress shirt feels like satin against your face, burying your sobs.
Viktor takes a moment longer to reach his peak, fucking into your exhausted body with concentration, thick eyebrows furrowed. It's too much, too rough, and you throw your head back to whine against his neck pitifully. He mutters something unintelligible under his breath before he finally unloads into you with a long groan.
“Shh, good girl,” he compliments you soothingly as his warmth settles into your core, kissing your neck leisurely in praise. “You have done so well.”
He bends your head back slightly more to catch your mouth in an open-mouth kiss, slow and tired, sloppy from your mutual exhaustion. Jayce groans, his hand somehow still on his softened cock, pumping it lazily; his stamina is utterly unbelievable.
“Okay, actually, this might be the hottest thing I've ever seen,” he comments hoarsely, absorbing the way your tongue dances with Viktor's with every inch of his capacities.
Viktor concludes the wet kiss with a small peck on your lips, smiling as your head falls back on his shoulder in fatigue, your eyes shut close.
“Because you managed to get yourself all over her?” he throws back at Jayce, as calm and confident as if he hadn't just made you go through the most intense orgasm of your life. “Your ego will never cease to impress me.”
The stars behind your eyelids are still spinning; you weakly try to move an arm, finding it almost completely unresponsive.
“Sir?” you ask, and you almost don't recognize your voice with how rough and broken it resonates in the empty lab.
“I think we have reached the point where you are allowed to call me by my name in private,” Viktor amusedly hums close to you.
“Viktor, I…”
You want to open your eyes, to look into his golden eyes again and see the way he looks right after sex, but they're sealed shut from how worn out you are. “…I don't think I can move right away.”
That earns you a content chuckle from one man and a disbelieving laugh from the other.
“Jayce,” Viktor asks, now with a tone of request rather than command, “be a gentleman for once and carry her to her bedroom. The poor thing is exhausted.”
Jayce snorts, for once tonight the one hitting back with irony:
“And whose fault is that?”
Viktor’s fingers, still loosely wrapped around your throat as lightly as feathers, slide down to massage the tender muscles at the base of your nape. You moan brokenly into the touch. You couldn't move even if you wanted to.
“Undeniably yours. I am not the one sneaking around in the academy for nefarious purposes,” Viktor retorts playfully, tiredness noticeable but skillfully hidden in his voice. “But if you were to have a bad idea like this once more… I believe I can offer you my services as her supervisor. For both your sakes.”
#CAN I GET A YEEHAW#this was so much fun to write ashgfff#arcane#viktor arcane#jayce talis#viktor x reader#viktor x reader x jayce#jayce x reader#arcane smut#viktor smut#jayce smut#jayce x viktor#happy birthday viktor
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i love learning cursive just to write text for exactly one character
#fun umbral lore. i can barely read cursive#if you want to hide anything from me then write it in cursive and i will literally never be able to read it#or write it. i had to google cursive text generator and copy it for this#ill settle on textbox designs also eventually#god its been so long since i've drawn the manor gang i think#saw this post and i immediately thought “cyn”#it has nothing to do with her being my number 1 blorbo. bite me#murder drones#art#murder drones n#murder drones v#murder drones j#murder drones cyn#serial designation n#serial designation j#serial designation v#they're so gay also they blushed immediately after this and made out probably im still torn between like 5 different ships#curse you fanfics for putting these ideas in my head
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(I am ~buzzing~ with ideas…. Allow me to release some)
Once Danny was an adult, he decided to join Ellie in her ‘permanent world tour’. It’s better than staying in Amity where the opinion of Phantom hasn’t gotten much better. Besides, the portal caused the veil to get weaker, allow ghost to wreak havoc where ever they want.
He’s met a lot new ghost cause of this too. Old as Mycenaean Greece to non humans who came to Earth and died there. Danny’s learnt so much from them that he’s basically a walking in Encyclopaedia.
So, Danny’s decided “fuck it.” and has it became a part-time history teacher. It’s fun! He knows the details by heart and is able to make it more fun than just droning on about the same old wars and whatever. He enjoys it, the kids enjoy it and the ghosts having their stories told!
Of course, this does cause some problems when people try to correct him. Danny’s argument? “I got them correct sources.”
And when anyone asks him how knows his sources are correct? “My source was there when it happened.”
Cue the dc world thinking that Danny’s just some immortal guy whose decided to use his immortality for good(TM)
#dp x dc#Dc x dp#dcxdp#dpxdc#dpdc#dcdp#writing prompt#I’m thinking this happens either in Gotham where everyone kind of just accepts that he’s there#Like “yup. Immortal guy. Doesn’t really do much beside tell his stories like an old man”#It would be funny if Damian ends up in his class and is so into because he can ask ANY question from ANY area/time period and Danny answers#-well enough that Damian has found a new favourite#“He’s not even family!”#“Tt.”#Or it happens in Central city#Because I think that’s also a city that would see this funky dude and just go “Yup that’s normal!”#(I JUST REMEMBERED THAT WALLY GETS WRAPPED UP IN A BUNCH OF CULTS STUFF!!!)#Wally totally goes up to Danny and starts spilling the entire case…#Without actually spilling it#Danny gives him all the missing clues in the form of the stories of (old ass god from obscure religion)#It would also be funny if Bart is his student#Like Danny 100% sometimes mixes up timelines and has to go#“Yeah so the queen stabbed the king in revenge- wait no. Sorry. the king killed the queen and the princess stabbed the king.”#Bart is BUZZING(/pos) cause he was there!! He went to that timeline to fix it!!#It’s very obvious that this immortal guy is immune to time travel shenanigans#Bart has fun subtly mention old timelines with him#Danny’s already decided this is his kid now. Back off Flash. I’m stealing your side kick.#(EVEN FUNNIER WITH BART 100% SUPPORTING THIS AND WALLY HAVING A CRUSH)#(“Nu uh! You don’t deserve Mr. Fenton!” “Dude I’m basically your older brother! If we date he becomes actual family!” “Nu uh. I claimed him#Already!” “Barttt-!”)#I need me more Danny & Speedsters
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FORGETTABLE-AU (page 97-100)
* Where could she be?
[BEGINNING] [PREVIOUS] [CONTINUE]
#WE'RE AT 100 PAGES OH MY GODDDDDDDDDDDDD#WOW#Amazing#I REWROTE THIS SCENE....SO MANY TIMES... YOU GUYS HAVE NO IDEA...#It's so hard to sound smart when I'm not actually a scientist myself lmekdlwk#“Sure let's do it”#- famous last words from Sans#I think it's very interesting how much more energetic and talkative Wingdings is with Sans compared to how he acts with Alphys...#He's so extra#Why is he doing all that#Ohhhh Sans... It makes me so sad to write him at this stage where he hasn't had an existential crisis yet...#Sans is such a nice guy I can'tttttt#These guys are so fun to write interacting#THE BACKGROUNDS KILLED ME WITH THIS UPDATE#I NEED TO GET BETTER AT THEM#Okay that's enough rambling I think...#undertale comic#undertale#papyrus is gaster#sans#wingdings#undertale au#forgettable-au#This is soooo chapter one core but with more colors
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DC x DP Prompt: Bruce is bad at emoting but at least ghosts are empathic (too bad bat kids are not)
Was reading Twincognito on AO3 when I stumbled across this gem again:
~
" “Danny, Tim. I was just…checking in. Is everything alright?” Curse his inability to make meaningful conversation when it wasn’t a life or death situation.
They glanced at each other and shrugged.
Then Danny hauled himself out of the bed and walked over to Bruce.
Bruce tried not to let too much excitement show on his face. "
~
Now I really want to read a story where Bruce adopts Danny post Meta trafficking and is being his usual emotionally constipated self. His kids keep getting mad at him because he's treating their new meta brother who was trafficked poorly (generally being stilted in conversation with him, walking away hurriedly mid-conversation, avoiding Danny when he's feeling really awkward, etc). They think Bruce is discriminating against Danny for being a civilian, meta, dealer's pick, but really it's just Bruce being horribly socially awkward. Danny knows this because of ghost empathy and find the whole thing hilarious. The whole thing comes to a head with the Bat Kids staging an intervention in the Bat Cave.
#dpxdc#dc x dp#dp x dc#dcxdp#batfam#batman#danny phantom#danny fenton#bruce wayne is a good dad#bruce wayne#bruce is terrible at feelings#the whole thing comes to a head with the bat kids hosting an intervention in the bat cave#maybe like a five plus one set up?#each time one of the bat kids thought bruce was discriminating against danny#and one time where they realized 'no#he is just that awkward'#dealer's choice if alfred thinka bruce is discriminating or not too#thinking this is either before adopting duke or not long after#because its one thing to be a light and shadow meta and another to be as OP as Danny is#also i'm thinking they don't know danny is a halfa#like they think he's just an unfortunately useful meta that got trafficked#could also have danny encountering his new siblings in and out of uniform knowing who they are without them revealing it for extra fun#couldn't get this out of my head#my original post#fic prompt#story prompt#prompt#please guys i have no spoons but i want to read it so bad#🥺#RayneWolfeRune writes
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ALPHA KIDS: Draw your best friends!
DIRK: I'd say I'm better at one on one character interaction work of the more intimate variety, but I think this piece came together nicely. DIRK: Fun for the whole family style wholesomeness, any motherfucker in the radius of a screen displaying this image will instantly get hit with a sore case of heartburn and their tear ducts will clock in overtime at the weeping factory.
ROXY: im so proud of these i think these are my best designs yet :3 but omg dirk callie and jake were SOOO peculiar about their damn designs over my shoulder. jake wanted me to clarify that even in pink pen form his little guy is BLUE. so there. sigh this is the one occasion they could take notes from janey.. JUST LET LE ARTIST WORK!
JANE: Boy! I don't draw often but I always was fond of calligraphy growing up. I was kind of inspired by all of the other's works, but especially Calliope's swirls she puts in her art. It's very fun to add!
JAKE: Im not quite the best with posing, but i find the head very fun to study! Especially skulls.. so good ole calliope makes for the perfect muse! (hehe)

CALLIOPE: i realized i hadn't ever made a piece with Us in the same place at once. u_u CALLIOPE: bUt since it's reality now here's all of Us together, United at last! ^u^
==->
#homestuck#alpha kids#dirk strider#jake english#calliope#jane crocker#roxy lalonde#dirkjake#callieroxy#my art#zan0tix#This was so fun tho Im dipping my toes into homestuck writing.. be prepared.. projects are in the works people#I have detailed explanations and references for jane and jakes styles and why they look that way but basically.#For jane i referenced her handwriting and june and jades art styles#and jake loves comics! and he very quietly observant (brain ghost dirk) without knowing it and he had bold fast hand writing so i think-#hed be a good sketcher#I SHOULDVE BEEN THERE IN THE 2010S MAN. I SHOULDVE BEEN MAKING STUFF LIKE THIS BACK THEN. whatever#making up for it now </3
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Court Story Idea
TW: the Joker
Where the Joker is being prosecuted for his crimes within the Ghost Zone and each side (defendant and plaintiff) is able to choose the lawyer for the other side. So that means that the Joker is able to choose an attorney for the plaintiffs AKA Jason, along with other victims, both alive and dead. (For drama’s sake, let’s say that the Justice League is there too, along with the younger generation of heroes.)
When everyone hears this, they’re like ??? Because isn’t that just going to help the Joker??
And the Joker, realizing this, is looking for the most weakest, most vulnerable person to exploit within this ghostly court room and he looks at the back of the room…
And finds Jazz, who’s sitting in a corner behind King Phantom, head down, trying her best to be unnoticed, nose in her papers as she’s writing down what’s said as the court reporter.
And the Joker picks her.
Nobody understands why everyone from the Ghost Zone is suddenly either 1) flabbergasted, 2) completely delighted, or 3) laughing so hard that it’s like they’re about to die a 2nd time.
Because the Joker chose the only person in the room with an actual law degree who is not only the big sister of the literal Ghost King, but also loves children, is fiercely protective of them, and most importantly, has never gotten the opportunity to show off her hard earned degrees in criminology, psychiatry, or law until now.
(Inspired by this post where someone says that Jazz would be the court reporter)
#the joker thinks he’s so smart and then he gets served a plate of cold cold karma#jazz completely destroys him and she has so much fun doing it#she never gets to use her degrees 😔 until now 😌#jason is like …can I flirt with my lawyer??#dc x dp#dp x dc#jazz fenton#danny phantom x dc#dp x dc crossover#dpxdc#dcxdp#dp royal court#dp au#writing prompt#danny fenton#joker gets prosecuted#jason todd
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fanfic is so good bc the premise of some genres of fic are just inherently funny. I want these two grizzled crime drama protagonists to have some fucking fun for once, so they go to a water park. I dont care how i have to logic my way into them going there i dont care who has to drag them Theyre Going
#this isnt abt a particular fandom btw just like a general observation#basically: if ur trying to write outside the genre of the media ur in its gonna be so fun for me to read#its like explaining to your friends why kirby should be at the next united nations meeting. youre right and i love you but How
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