#and so many people will never see that stuff (although a lot has been rescued at this point)

[maliro-t]

everything i've heard about the candela live show is solidifying the direct line i've seen since launch from sagas of sundry to where we are now and I'm just so 👐👐 excited about it

[farity]

Rush

Pairing: Modern AU!Aemond Targaryen x reader

Summary:  A gallery debut for a beloved little cousin has the two of you running into some interesting people.

Warning: Smut

“Shireen! This is wonderful, you are so talented!”

The young woman beamed at you and gave you a huge hug.  “Thank you for making it, I know how busy you both are oh my gosh your dress is gorgeous!”

Aemond stepped in, giving Shireen a quick hug.  “Good job, kid, we’re never too busy to support family.”

Your second cousin Shireen might be young, but she has been an artist for years and this is her first showing at a prestigious gallery.  Her family name is enough to gather many of the city’s elite and you are delighted for her.

“We’ll let you chat with your admirers,” you added, “text me if you need rescuing, ok?”

“Will do!  Enjoy the food!”

* * * * * 

“She’s crazy talented,” Aemond said absently, studying one of the larger pieces on display.  “I wouldn’t mind this in my office,” he mused.

“Well,” you said, teasingly, “it is mostly black.  It will go with all the other black stuff.”

He leaned in, playfully biting your ear while you laughed.  “Be careful you don’t swallow my earring, it’s from this guy I met years ago.”

He let go of your earlobe and kissed your neck.  “Hmm, he must like you a lot, it’s a pretty big diamond.”

“Oh yeah he does,” you said nonchalantly, although what his mouth was doing to your neck was definitely making you want to find an empty room somewhere.  “I like him a lot, too.  He’s brilliant and so fucking hot.”  You ran your hand over Aemond’s ass, giving it a quick squeeze.

“I told you they would be all over each other.”

The man’s voice startled you and Aemond and you turned to see Oberyn Martell with his long-term partner Ellaria.

She smiled coquettishly at him.  “Then you have won the bet, my love.”

“I will be collecting later,” he said, kissing her hand, and then extended his hand to Aemond.  “Good seeing you, it’s been a while.”

“Oberyn, did you make the trip just for this?”

You kissed Ellaria’s cheek while the men chatted.  She was such a different creature from the go-getters of the city.  While everyone rushed, she seemed to glide effortlessly, and she seemed untouched by worry or time.

“We just escaped Jaime Lannister’s latest humblebrag.  Apparently he now has a Tesla at every one of his homes.” She whispered, rolling her eyes.  

“That’s Jaime, all right,” you replied, “at least Cersei is not here.”

“That woman is poison,” Ellaria snapped, then shook out her hair.  “Let us talk about nicer things.  Come and have dinner before we return to Dorne.”

“That sounds lovely!

“It will be a very small, intimate gathering,” Ellaria said suggestively, a soft smile on her lips, and you noticed her long glance at Aemond.  “Just the four of us.”

Ah.

“Well,” you replied, not missing a beat, “let us know and we will check our calendars.  It’s always so good to see you.”  You hugged Ellaria, kissing her cheek before Oberyn took your hand and kissed it.

* * * * * 

Aemond spoke to one of the gallery attendants to secure the painting he wanted for his study and caught you as you drank your wine.

“Hey gorgeous, you ready to go?” he said, slipping his arm around your waist as you handed him a glass of whisky.  “Are you purchasing anything?”

“Yeah, I already had them secured for me.”  You smiled up at him.  “We just got propositioned.”

“What?” he nearly choked on his drink and looked at you with pure disbelief in his eyes.

“Oh yeah,” you continued.  “Oberyn and Ellaria are inviting us to one of their "intimate” parties.  Like the one they had with Tyrion and Shae,” you whispered.

Aemond pulled you closer.  “Too bad for them, I do not share.”  He downed the rest of his whisky and let his hand ghost over your ass.  “Your delightfully bouncy ass is all mine,” he murmured against your temple, “your silken breasts are for my hands and mouth only,” he brushed your hair out of the way for another kiss on your neck, “and your most delectable-”

“Hey guys!”

You turned at once, your face burning, in time to see your brother-in-law, Aegon, and his wife Margaery smiling at you.  

“Oh hey!” you hugged Margaery, moving to the side a little to avoid crushing her pregnant belly.  “How are you feeling these days?”

“I am doing well,” she said, “my boobs are huge, for once, my hair is thick and glorious, and my nails are long.  Pregnancy for the win!”

You hugged Aegon, and started telling him about one of the pieces that you thought would look good in their house.  “We’ve been looking for something for over the fireplace, wanna go take a look, love?” he asked his wife, who gave you a little wave before following him.

“Okay,” you said, finishing your wine and putting the glass down on a table.  “I’m about done being caught making out with you.  Take me home and ravish me, Aemond.”

“Oh good, we found you!”

Fuck.

Your mother in law’s voice washed over you along with all the shame and embarrassment of knowing she had probably heard your last few words.

“Hey Alicent.  Viserys,” you kissed Aemond’s parents, who loved you like a daughter and had made you feel at home the moment Aemond brought you home years ago.

“Kid’s doing good, isn’t she?” Viserys asked, indicating Shireen.  He leaned in conspiratorially, “I have a feeling my wallet is going home empty tonight.”  

Alicent rolled her eyes at her husband.  “That is never happening.  Dinner on Sunday, right?” he asked you and Aemond.

“Definitely.”

The moment they left you turned, Aemond’s hand in yours, and began walking out.

“Should we say goodbye to Shireen?” he asked.

“I’m not saying anything to anyone any more.”

Aemond simply smiled as you walked out and much to your surprise, he grabbed you, lifting you off the ground, and kissed you, right in the middle of the street.  When he released you, you had to hold on to his arm to steady yourself.

“I don’t give a fuck who sees,” he said, “but I will take you home and ravish you all the same.”

* * * * * 

The front door slammed open while she laughed and he tried to ignore her hand down the front of his trousers.  He kicked the door shut and grabbing her hands, pressed her against the wall.  “I’m going to have you right here.”

“No,” she teased, “I want my nice, comfortable bed.”

“Three,” he said, looking straight into her eyes.

She blinked, dropping her bag on the floor.

“Two.”

Her eyes widened, and she started running upstairs, cursing the killer heels she wore. “I’m going to break a fucking ankle, Aemond!”

“One.”

He heard her throwing one shoe aside as he ran after her.  He would have her wherever he found her, maybe torment her a little as payment for her damn hand on his cock when he couldn’t do anything about it.

She’d gone into her dressing room and was struggling to undo the strap on her shoe.

“You’re mine.”

“Let me get this fucking shoe-”

He reached her before she finished and pushed her down on the fancy plush bench she had.  He’d never fucked her on that bench, he realized, and decided to rectify things.

“Aemond-”

“If I want you to use your mouth, I will let you know.”

He pushed up the hem of her short dress, tore off the lacy underwear, and fastened his mouth between her legs.  

She whined loudly as he devoured her, his mouth and tongue relentlessly working her to a quick, hard orgasm.

“Good,” he said, looking down at her, “we got one out of the way.”  Undoing the tiny buckle on her shoe, he tossed it aside and draped her legs over his shoulders.  He traced a slow circle around the sensitive knot of nerves, feeling her belly twitch with the aftershocks of her first release.  She was incredibly sensitive after, and he could usually get her to come again with the lightest of touches.   A few moments later, he was rewarded with a second orgasm, and he stood up, watching her limp form.

Walking to the other side of the bench, he pulled her up to sitting and unzipped the dress before pulling it over her head. He tossed it on the floor, and turned to find her on her knees before him.

She smiled coyly at him and ran her hand up the front of his trousers.  

“What do you want, my love?  You may tell me.”

“I want to return the favor, Aemond.”

“You want me in that tempting little mouth?

She nodded, biting on her lower lip.

God damn her.  He could never say no to her, naked or not, kneeling or not.

He cupped her cheek and she pressed against his palm.  “I fucking adore you,” he murmured, and she beamed at him before starting to unbutton and unzip.

She mouthed his hard length over the fabric of his boxers and he cursed.  This game, these amusements, she knew he would never in a million years hurt her beyond a smack on the ass or a tug on her hair.  He would cut his own throat before he ever hurt her.  

Her slim fingers slipped into the waistband of his boxers and Aemond wondered how long he was going to last because he was painfully hard and when she tugged down the garment and wrapped one hand around him, he nearly came.  Her mouth was soft and wet, her tongue swirling around as she worked him with her hand.

He would not come in her mouth, he would not come in her mouth, he would not-

In desperation, he pulled her off him and pushed her back onto the bench before driving inside her.  “Fuck, you feel too damn good.”

She licked her lips, “likewise.”

He began pounding against her, holding her hips so he wouldn’t push her off the bench, and she wrapped her legs around him, her breasts bouncing with every hard thrust.

“Fuck yes,” she moaned, “oh fuck, fuck-” she threw her head back, screaming, and watching her, her body taut in ecstasy, finally did him in, and he surrendered to his own orgasm.

* * * * * 

By the time the world stopped spinning, you realized Aemond was still kneeling between your legs, his head right under your breasts.

“I can’t stand right now,” he said in all explanation, and you began laughing, your skin still shimmering with pleasure.  

You couldn’t imagine sharing yourself - or Aemond - with anyone else.  You’d been his since the moment you first laid eyes on him at the hospital, where he had come in after a horrific eye injury.  While you started his anesthesia, you’d realized how much he was shaking, and had held his hand until he went under.

When you’d gone in to check in on him post-recovery, he’d thanked you for holding his hand.  “It’s the last thing I remember, your hand in mine.”

The eye had been too badly injured to save and he’d gotten a prosthetic replacement, until one day when he came in to thank the surgeon, and then pulled you aside.  

“So, are you officially not my doctor any more?”

You’d smiled, “no, not really, I was only there for the surgery,” you’d said, blushing at the intensity in his gaze.

You hadn’t known what to say next, and he’d extended his hand to you.  “Well then, it sounds like there is no doctor-patient bullshit to stop you from going out with me.”

And that had been that.  You’d gone out to dinner, gone back to your place, and then he’d never really left.  

“So I propose-”

“Again?” you teased.  

He raised his head to give you a look.  “I suggest, we move this party to the bedroom, now that I can stand.  I think.”

* * * * * 

Later, he watched her drift off to sleep, curled up against him.  He thought of the worst thing that had ever happened to him leading to the best thing that had ever happened to him and had long ago decided it had been a fair trade.

He’d told himself he had nothing to lose - he’d already lost an eye, he would have a nasty scar on his face for the rest of his fucking life, and he could tell himself that she had turned him down because she’d been one of the doctors on his case.

So he’d summoned his courage and after he’d talked to the rest of his medical team, he’d caught up with her and taken her aside.  And she’d said yes to going out with him.  When he’d asked her a different question a year later, she’d said yes, too, between tears and laughter.  

Whenever he told someone that he was a lucky man, he always caught the split second of disbelief.  But he knew better.

* * * * * 

Tagging:

@arryn-nyx​   @  girlwith-thepearlearring    @greenowlfactif  @hydrationqueensworld    @megzdoodle@melsunshine  @queenofshinigamis     @throughgoeshamilton   @travelingmypassion   @hb8301   @kaemond-zafiro    @arcielee

[greenerteacups]

Because Lily's best friends are (presumably) all dead, her greatest characterisation in canon is given through Snape's memories of her which... isn't great, because there's a lot of stuff going on there. It's through Snape's memories that we see Lily as a kind, loyal and fiery teen girl. The real person rather than the saintlike characterisation Harry gets from other people who speak of her... though of course, Snape's perspective places her on a pedestal too. I don't think Lupin talking about Lily with Harry is book canon as much as movie canon, and ditto the Slughorn fish story, although he does say she was brilliant at Potions and a favourite student of his.

I'm aware that both are from the movies, but I'm still interested in them as instances where the storytellers have made the deliberate decision to invoke Lily's memory, since it doesn't hardly ever happen in the books. The exception, as you said, is Snape, whom I suspect more of being incomplete than inaccurate, honestly.

It's never clear how close Lily ever was to him, or what Lily thought about him before the friend-breakup in fifth year. We know he's obsessed with her, and they hang out together at Hogwarts pre-Snape's Worst Memory, and we can imagine they spend a lot of time together in the summers, since they'd be the only friends around; but none of the other people who knew Lily ever discuss her friendship with Snape, making me think that probably it wasn't nearly as important to her as it was to him. No one brings it up when they're discussing Snape's loyalty or lack thereof to the Order of the Phoenix; no one thinks to mention it to Harry, and I suspect that's because there's nothing for anyone to remember. Like, I don't know who my friends were pals with back in middle school, and I don't remember the details of most of the drama that happened when I was 15. It's conceivable to me that many, if not most, of Lily's friends post-fifth year legitimately do not know that she ever had a connection with Snape, much less how deep it went (if it went deep for her at all). It's certainly conceivable that the Marauders don't know or remember it.

Does that mean she wasn't close to him before? Not necessarily. But we obviously can't ask her, and considering how little knowledge people seem to have of Lily in general, it's probably not something we can ask any other living character in the Harry Potter series. So it's indeterminate, in my opinion, whether Snape "knows" Lily in the way his level of obsession/love suggests.

To the point, we do get the one objective piece of characterization when she tries to rescue him from James, which is a great scene and does a lot of work to build her as a real person. Since in-universe it's patently obvious when a memory's been tampered with, we have no reason to believe Snape's remembering this inaccurately. But the framing of the scene suggests her rescue effort isn't so much about Snape as a person rather than the fact that James is doing this at all; it's not like she would have sat there and been fine with it if James pantsed someone else. And Harry's first encounter the memory, in fifth year, doesn't even tip him off that Lily and Snape were close. Which, candidly, it doesn't seem to me like they are! If their relationship has already decayed to the point where he's comfortable shouting a slur at her in public, one imagines their friendship's been on the decline for at least a while.

[tehloserprince]

I was tagged by @santacoppelia - thank you! 🥺🧡

1. were you named after anyone? Michael Jordan, ha ha. No, really, my mom's a huge fan. She's followed his career ever since his UNC days. I love telling people that's how I got my name. For the record, although I have an obligatory fondness for my hometown team and a nostalgic love for the Bulls in their Jordan Era, I'm currently a Bucks fan.

2. when was the last time you cried? It's really difficult for me to cry. It's such a relief at times, tho. I cried a few weeks ago, when I realized my special needs dog was having some epilepsy-related issues. I've mostly accepted that I'll probably never see him with a grey muzzle, but I really hope we can share more time together. There are still so many things I want to show him.

3. do you have kids? Nope. Sorta did, once, but I don't really talk about that much. It was a good experience, and I still love/think about her. But my kids are all the critter variety these days ;) I enjoy hanging out with my friends' kids, but they're all growing up too quickly :/ What even is time

4. what sports do you play/have you played? I never really played anything professionally, but I liked soccer, basketball, and running when I was younger. I got into boxing and Muay Thai when I was a little older, and also did a lot of hiking. Unfortunately I'm crippled, so I'm limited in what I can/should do. I try to go on lots of walks with my pup and swim whenever I can. Sometimes I still wrap my hands and hit the bag, which is fun.

5. do you use sarcasm? No, never. (/s obvs)

6. what's the first thing you notice about people? The way they treat other people - especially the most vulnerable - and animals. Physically, eyes and smile. I'm more impressed by people who can be genuinely kind without ulterior motivation.

7. what's your eye color? Hazel.

8. scary movies or happy endings? Depends on my mood! In terms of scary films, gore feels lazy and boring to me. I need a film to get inside my head in order to be scary. But I'm a sucker for happy endings too, which is a lot of projection on my part, ha ha.

9. any talents? Err. Uh. Writing, I guess? Remembering a lot of random info? Friends are consistently surprised that I'll remember so many little details, especially if it's like ... me surprising them with something they mentioned liking at some point. Funny enough, I'll frequently forget why I walked into a room these days, but I'm glad some parts of my memory still excel! I'm also told that I'm extremely patient, if that counts as a talent.

10. where were you born? Charlotte, NC.

11. what are your hobbies? Writing, reading, watching movies and television shows (mostly with the BFF), random crafts, DIY home improvement stuff (I painted my entire house despite my health worsening over the years and I'm very proud of that), canine behavior/training, and playing video games. I don't have as much time for games, but I still enjoy it. Started a new game of Red Dead Redemption 2 this winter, and I've been spending hours just roaming the land with my horse.

12. do you have any pets? Ha, yes! I do a lot of animal rescue and have some life goals related to that, so hopefully I'll always be surrounded by critters. My beloved dog (Skippyjon) passed away in 2022 (old age and CHF). I had a cockatiel for 21 years - a birthday present when I turned 8. We basically grew up together, and the house is still way too quiet without him. I had other dogs (Smokey and Locke), and a lot of fish. In college, I had an "illegal" hamster, Kai (Kaizoku). He was fat and wonderful. I chose him because he squeezed past his siblings, sat in their food dish, and started shoving food in his mouth. King behavior tbh. I had a rat named Stevie in my late 20s. Currently, I have a deaf special needs dog (Oscar aka Ozzy), a cat that I hand-raised because she was found abandoned shortly after birth (Swayze), and a rabbit (Shasta aka Bad Bunny). At some point, I decided that all my rabbits would be named after soda brands, ha.

13. how tall are you? About 5'10".

14. favorite subject in school? Literature, Spanish, Philosophy, sometimes History, Classical Studies, Art. Anything that wasn't math, because I always struggled with that.

15. dream job? If I could make a living off of writing and spend a lot of my time doing animal rescue, I'd be content. Even if I was wealthy, I'd ultimately pursue a simple, cozy life without a lot of fanfare. I'd love to have more money to invest in animal rescue and local community welfare (kids should always have basic necessities imo). Maybe someday ...

Tagging anyone who feels like doing this! Feel free to reblog or tag me if you wanna let me know that you did it. Thanks, this was fun :3

[tsarisfanfiction]

Hello! For the WIP game, I’m very intrigued by….. well, all the titles, really. But to keep things simple: TAG Mundus Occidit Fratrum Meum and TAG Rarepair

MOFM was already asked about here so I won't repeat myself beyond a warning that it's probably the darkest thing I've ever seriously started to write so watch out for potentially triggering stuff over there.

TAG Rarepair is exactly what it says on the tin. This doc is more notes than actual written snippets of story so far, but I'll talk a little bit about the history of how this came to be, and see where we go from there.

People who were around when I was most active in the TAG fandom will know that I dislike Kayo and I can't stand the Scayo ship at all - which ended up reaching a rather surprising conclusion. I used to write a lot from prompt lists (and I wish I still had the free time to keep writing like that because it was fun and I still have so many yet-unanswered in my inbox), and there was one list in particular that I remember eyeing some of the options in fear - because this was before I'd really made my stance on Scayo, in particular, clear, and one of the potential prompts on the list was very obviously romantic, and I was worried someone would request it with Scott and Kayo.

I worried so much about this, in fact, that I twisted the prompt round and round and round in my head until I realised that if this scenario did occure (it did not, luckily no-one has ever asked me to write Scayo and at this point I will be very surprised if anyone ever does - please don't) I had a crafty little escape plan in place. Namely, I would pair Kayo up with some other character and twist the prompt so that she and Scott are talking about her other half. Obviously, I never needed this escape route, but it was certainly a relief when I found it.

As for who I paired Kayo up with... another Scott ship I hate is Scott/Marion (actually, I'll be honest, there isn't really a Scott ship I like at all, barring Penelope under certain circumstances). Kayo and Marion, meanwhile, seem like the sort of partnership where no-one around them will ever be safe but they'll have the time of their lives, and after a while my random little crackship made as a get out of jail free card started growing on me, so I started wondering if I could actually make a story out of their relationship. Will I ever actually write this? Unlikely, but it ended up being fun to think about.

There's a very small snippet of something written for this, though, at the end of the note-filled doc, so have a couple of paragraphs:

“Kayo,” Scott said, a little wearily, although she could only tell because she’d known him for so long, “this is Lieutenant Marion van Arkle, the GDF’s expert on nuclear power.”  He gestured towards the short woman in her radiation-rated GDF uniform.  “Lieutenant, this is Kayo Kyrano.” Kayo knew all about Marion van Arkle, of course.  She’d never met the woman in person before now, but she’d dug into everything she could find out about her since the uranium mine fiasco not far from Pretoria – just one of many ‘rescues’ that could have been avoided if it wasn’t for her uncle’s greedy plots – where she’d almost killed Scott. Scott had seemed to be content to let bygones be bygones, even going so far as to get the woman a job – not that Kayo could really disapprove of that; if the nuclear expert was under the GDF’s control, she wasn’t being a potential wildcard, and uranium expertise was a dangerous wildcard – but Scott was a hypocrite like that.  If it had been any of the rest of them bashed unconscious, trapped under a mech suit, and almost radiation-poisoned to death, Scott would have been the first person in line with the threats. Just look at his strained relationship with the Mechanic. In the absence of Scott’s ire, Kayo had stepped up instead.  The woman was still dangerous – while not the threat in Scott’s second encounter with her at Shackleton, her hypocritical nature towards Fuse’s right to be saved hadn’t escaped any of them. Not even Scott, and Kayo knew that was the reason behind his slight weariness in his voice. Now wasn’t strictly speaking the time to assess the woman in person, to match the live thing with the reams of data and holographic images Kayo had amassed of her throughout her life – from a young girl playing in crosscut tunnels to the lieutenant standing before her now – but Kayo’s job was to gather as much information on potential threats as she could. Marion van Arkle was certainly a potential threat.

[harrumphingtons]

!!!TBB S2E14 "Tipping Point" Spoilers Under the Cut!!! -- Episode Thoughts

THIS EPISODE WAS SO GOOD AHHHHHH THAT WAS AMAZING

CAN CROSSHAIR PLEASE JUST BE SAFE AND HAPPY NOW I AM BEGGING YOU FILONI

HOWZER IS SAFE HOWZER IS ALIVE HOWZER HOWZER HOWZERRRRRRRRRRR

Echo was such a badass omg that whole sequence was incredible Echo is back Echo is going what he does best yessssssss

Echo is also wearing pants!!! Not just the kama!!! Makes him less conspicuous and less recognizable i guess? Although I kind of miss a kama and I definitely was wishing he'd. y'know. have rex's handprint back on his chest. i really thought that would happen.

CROSSHAIR WAS NEVER TRYING TO ESCAPE HE JUST WANTED TO PROTECT WITH BROTHERS AND SISTERS I CANNOT PLS HELP ME AHHHHHH

Also him missing shots and being genuinely out of it was like. Thank you for actually showing some side effects of drugs and torture. But please stop this is scaring me. Can he be rescued very soon please and thank you.

Wrecker being so happy fishing and helping out rebuilding ahhhhhh I love it I love the domesticity I love that they're putting down roots I love that he's happy and I HATE that it is likely not going to stay this way

OMEGA MISSED ECHO SO MUCH OH ME OH MY I ALMOST CRIED THAT WAS SO SWEET

Aside from me ranting about smaller details in the episode, I do have some actual speculations and theories and stuff:

Echo and Hunter's conversation was very, very, very intriguing, as many others have pointed out. I've seen a couple people saying, in regard to the "when will it be enough thing?" thing, that Echo likely feels like he has to atone for all the brothers he "killed" while he was imprisoned, even if he rationally knows it wasn't his fault. I think this might be part of it, but I also feel like the point of this conversation was to further highlight the differences between Echo and the rest of the Batch in terms of how they think and who they consider family. Hunter doesn't understand the point of trying to rescue all the other clones and sees it as a sort of valiant mission that Echo and the others will eventually have to give up on when 1) they feel they've done enough, or 2) they realize it's impossible to save everyone. meanwhile, Hunter's greatest objective is keeping his family safe. However, Echo (and Rex and Gregor and all the other regs in the network)'s mission objective is more similar to that than Hunter realizes. When Hunter points out the the Empire is too powerful to defeat, Echo says, "It's not about that. It's about fighting for our brothers." Echo is fighting to keep his family safe, too, but his family isn't like Hunter's--it's a lot larger.

Echo and Rex and the rest of the "regs" have always been shown as regarding the entirety of the clone army as their brothers. No one in the Bad Batch has ever shown that kind of attitude. I'm not saying that's without reason; they likely grew up isolated and when they did come into contact with regs, they were often bullied. But it is important to note that the Bad Batch's family does not extend beyond Hunter, Tech, Wrecker, Omega, Echo, Crosshair somewhat (given obvious current tensions between him and the others, he's not entirely part of their family at the point), and to some extent regs who've treated them with kindness and care about them, like Cody and Rex. However, Echo's family not only includes the Batch but also Rex and Cody and Gregor and Howzer, and every other clone in existence because all of the regs were raised together, as brothers. Echo's dedication to (since the very beginning of season 1) fighting the empire, joining Rex, freeing or otherwise helping other clones, etcetera, has never been about taking down a power he knows is too powerful to defeat. It's always been about saving and protecting his family, the same way everything Hunter has done since the Batch took Omega and left Kamino has been to protect his family.

Another thing I've been seeing talked about a lot: Hunter's skepticism in regard to Crosshair's message. A lot of people have been criticizing him for this, but I personally think he was completely justified. Crosshair did, after all, choose to stay with the Empire of his own accord, and since Hunter has no idea when Crosshair's chip was removed (although I'm pretty sure it's widely assumed to be right after the ion engine scorch on Bracca), he can't be sure which actions of Crosshair's can be blamed on the chip. Did Crosshair order his squad to fire on Omega on Bracca, or was that the chip? Hunter doesn't know. And like I said before, Hunter's main priority is protecting his family, a family Crosshair is currently not exactly a part of. His belief that it is possibly a trap is not unfounded, at all.

Moving on from that, I'm very excited to see how the last two episodes go down. Theories: Obviously, the Batch, now including Echo again, and maybe with the help of Rex, Gregor, Fireball, or another clone in the network, is going to end up trying to rescue Crosshair. Whether this happens because Omega is taken to Tantiss or just because they want Crosshair back is to be seen, but I think it's going to be the first one -- or maybe even both mixed together. The Batch will leave Pabu with the intent of finding Crosshair, and this is how Omega is captured, and this is how the find Tantiss in the first place, which leads them to Crosshair. As much as I hate to think about it, it is very likely someone will die at the end of the season and it's probably going to be either Echo or Crosshair. If it is either of them, it'll likely be in a sacrifice move to save the others -- or, in Crosshair's case, maybe even to save just Omega. Ultimately, either of those deaths would tie into the title of this episode, making either Echo's differing thoughts or Crosshair's situation and one of their subsequent deaths Hunter's tipping point. It would be what pushes him over the edge and into the fight against the Empire, for revenge for his brother.

[aceofwhump]

15 Questions, 15 Mutuals

Thanks for the tag @hold-him-down!!!

1. Are you named for anyone?: I am actually! My real first name is the feminized version of my fathers.

2. When was the last time you cried?: The day I watched The Hobbit: The Battle of Five Armies I sobbed my heart out. That was, what, 4 days ago I think? I'm now about to watch LOTR: Return of the King and I suspect I'll be crying then too. Nearly cried multiple times two days while watching Fellowship and any allusion and mention to the events of the hobbit gave me feels. BUT! I did not cry. I'm quite proud of myself for that. Oh wait. No I lied. I definitely cried when they found Balin's tomb in Moria and Oris skeleton was there next to the tomb.

3. Do you have kids?: Nope. Not at all and I don't want kids. I'm never going to have children. I've got my cat: Sable. She's my baby. For now and forever all my children will be cats.

4. Do you use sarcasm a lot?: Lol yeah I do. Far too often. I need to tune it down sometimes lol.

5. What’s the first thing you notice about people?: Oh interesting. Umm... I guess either their tone of voice is they speak first. I'm very conscious of people's tone of voice. If they don't speak I'm usually noticing style of clothing.

6. What’s your eye color?: Blue

7. Scary movies or happy endings?: Happy endings definitely. But I love scary movies and so many of them don't necessarily end happily. Although now that I think of it a lot of my favorite scary movies do end on a positive/happy note (as happy as a horror movie can be lol). So yeah happy ending. I love me a happy ending. Don't enjoy movies that end sadly.

8. Any special talents?: Uhhh yes? Let me see...I can play the trumpet and the bugle (pretty much the same instrument just a bugle has no valves). I can crochet. I can pick a padlock. I can operate a 1940s era switchboard and field phones. I can untie any knot you give me no matter how complicated (my sister uses this weird super power of mine all the time when her box of necklaces get tangled together. I've never not been able to untie a knot). Do photoshop skills count as special talents?

9. Where were you born?: Ohio in the USA. Not getting more specific than that sorry.

10. What are your hobbies?: My main hobbies are crocheting and historical reenacting. That's where I put all my time and money. Some other things I enjoy as a hobby are photoshop editing, writing, reading fanfic, watch tv/movies, and seeing musicals at the theater.

11. Have you any pets?: Yup! Got a cat named Sable, my weird little rescue baby. And I've got a dachshund/jack russell mix named Penny. She's 13 years old and still a spitfire.

12. What sports do you play/have played?: I don't play anything now because I'm super lazy and poor and all the leagues around me cost like $200 to play but I played softball and volleyball in high school. Volleyball is my favorite sport. I miss it terribly. I was a libero. Did basketball for a year but ended up hating it. And on occasion I'd play touch football with the neighborhood guys. I couldn't pass for shit but I'd catch anything thrown at me. Also, and I'll fight you on this, but marching is a sport and I was in marching band all throughout high school and college. I consider that my main sport.

13. How tall are you?: 5′7″

14. Favorite subject in school?: History!!! I loved that subject so much I took two history classes at once in senior year and then went on to get two degrees in it.

15. Dream job?: I'm gonna be really borng here for a second but I don't think I have a dream job anymore. Mainly cause I really don't want to work. I want to have enough money in my life to never have to work at all. But since that's not the case, my dream job is something related to history. Something where I can sit all day surrounded by historical objects. Spending the day by myself, only having to talk to someone on occasion, where I just get to sit at a desk and look at historical stuff. My dream job is quiet and peaceful but has fun times with a few coworkers. I get to do something that gives me a sense of purpose and fulfillment. And pays really well so I can afford to travel and buy all the stuff I don't need but so desperately want.

tagging: Anyone who wants to do it!!!!

[arandomperson5647]

Misty Island Rescue rewrite draft.....thingy

(I copy+pasted this from my original wiki post btw. Idk if that actually matters, but whatever)

Technically it's more of a summary/outline cuz I haven't even written it. Idk IF I'll actually write it, but this is just an idea of what might happen. This is actually my first time trying to write for Thomas, and my first ever time trying to write a multi-part fic so things may or may not be consistent. I've considered posting this outline here for a while just to see what others think but I never gathered the courage to do it (it might be cringey, idk) until now. (Also, the "how" Thomas got on Misty Island is probably really dumb and stupid cuz I can't think of any other reason. I wouldn't mind any suggestions)

I started this in June or smth and I haven't touched it since the end of that month. Now it's August so idk what the deal is with this

What I'm posting here is not all I have, but I don't want to post all of it yet, in case I actually do write it and don't want to spoil it or smth.

It is summer on Sodor. There have been many strong storms and stuff, which have caused many emergencies. The emergencies varied throughout the season. The Sodor people decided that they need a rescue station for all the rescue vehicles. They want it to be built in a strong material. Hiro tells Sir Topham Hatt (STH) and the mayor about Jobi wood, and that it is the strongest wood in the world. He also says it's only found in Japan. Although expensive, it would be worth it cuz a rescue center is important.

A month later, the preparations for the rescue center are close to an end. The blueprints are basically done and a location has been decided. Everyone is excited for it. Soon, the Jobi wood comes in. An engine takes the wood to the lumber mill. A few days later, during the early night, a dry thunderstorm occurs. Thomas was making his way to the shed when he sees smoke in the distance, so he decides to check it out. He comes to the lumber mill (which is closed, meaning no one's there) to find that a tree was knocked down and landed on the Jobi logs. The tree was on fire from lightning and it spread to the logs. Thomas had to make a decision. He decided that he'd go to the nearest signal box to call for help and then use the water in his boiler to temporarily control the fire. He knew he couldn't put out the fire, so he tried to not let it spread. Unfortunately it had already spread to a few flatbeds of Jobi logs. Despite feeling weak from lack of water, Thomas keeps going. When the fire service finally arrives, Thomas was shunted away near a water tower. He comes back to see that the fire was put out.

The next evening, STH announces what happened to the lumber mill and Jobi wood. A lot of the Jobi wood was destroyed so the building of the Search and Rescue Center will be delayed for a while. STH says that the mainland was asking for him to loan an engine for a couple of weeks, but he hasn't decided who yet. As a reward, he sends Thomas. Thomas is very excited.

A few days later in the afternoon, Thomas and his friends are waiting at Knapford Harbor for him to be loaded on the ship. Thomas did a couple jobs in the morning before going to the harbor. He's about half-fill on water and forgot to refill before going but decides to refill at the mainland. The bridge is under repairs at the moment, which is why he's going by boat. The reason why he's not at Brendam is cuz no ships for engines were coming any time soon or smth. Salty is also there because he had to take some trucks to the harbor. While they wait, Salty tells the tale of Misty Island:

Misty Island is an island. Although it's not too far away, it is hard to find due to it always being covered in mist. Nobody today remembers seeing Misty Island. No engine nor human. Many years ago, near when it was first discovered, a railway was being built. No one knows why, but it was later abandoned. They say a few engines remained there, engines that were different than Sodor engines. They keep each other company, hoping someone finds them. Some say that before their steam went out, they puffed 3 clouds of smoke as their last hope for be rescued. No one knows if the engines are still there in one piece, or if they've decayed throughout the years.

At some point during the story, Edward mentions that he thinks he's seen, or at least heard of Misty Island. Because he isn't 100% sure, he doesn't explain much. After the story, Thomas realizes that the engines must've used smoke signals. Upon questioning, he explains that his driver once told him about it. 3 puffs mean "danger" or smth. He says that he'd also use 3 puffs if he was in danger. Percy says that they'd come to help him.

Soon, the ship is ready to load Thomas on. Everyone says bye and Thomas leaves. Unfortunately, a storm happens during the journey at night. It blows the ship off course. Thomas' chains come loose and he falls off the ship or smth. They were relatively close to Misty Island so Thomas kinda floats to it (while also sinking cuz he's an engine). He ends up on shallow enough water so he doesn't sink anymore. Out of fright or smth, Thomas passes out. The waves kinda push him onto shore even more than before he passed out.

Thomas briefly wakes up to see himself beached on land. It's the middle of the night and he doesn't know what to do. He's exhausted and can't stay awake so he falls asleep again. With no crew to wake him up, he stays sleeping for a while.

The next afternoon, STH gets a phone call. He was told that Thomas wasn't on the boat when it arrived to the mainland. Thomas' crew did arrive, they were the first to notice their engine was gone. STH is very surprised by the news. STH decides to tell the engines the news that night cuz he doesn't want to interrupt their jobs and knows how they'll probably react. He figures the engines will spread the news so he doesn't gather everyone.

That night, all the engines are in the shed talking about their day. STH comes in his car, surprising them because he doesn't usually come at night unless there's smth important. STH tells them the news, shocking them. They ask questions like "when" or "how" is happened. STH doesn't know but answers the best he can. After STH leaves, they talk about the situation. They wonder where Thomas could be, especially since he disappeared in the middle of the ocean.

[catthu]

Puppy Parenting, Baby Parenting, Education

I got a puppy back in March. Somehow I'd really believed that if I didn't train my puppy to be a good dog, and at some point had to give her up to a shelter, she would be un-adoptable and would be put down. So I took my puppy training duty super seriously. The first month or two were very difficult; I barely had time for work, minimal rest, and nothing else. As soon as the puppy became fully vaccinated, I sent her to puppy school to both get her better training and get myself time to catch up on the mountain of work accumulated. There hadn't been a day during the first month when I didn't think about sending her back to the shelter ‒ to ease the work on myself, to give her a better life (where's the big yard? the pool? other dogs to play with? a family with multiple people to give her attention?), and to give her a drastically better chance of being re-adopted, while still a puppy.

Nikki is a little more than a year old now. She's very sweet, super cuddly, rarely barks, has never met a stranger (or strange dog), has never shown aggression. I consider this a success. But what passes as success now is different from my preconception of success before I got a dog. I had thought, from previous ideas and hours reading about dog training, that successful training meant a calm, obedient dog: a dog that walks well on leash, sits when you tell her to, knows a handful of impressive tricks, curls up calmly by the couch instead of jumping all over guests, gets off the counter and not get on it in the first place, gathers fallen leaves in the garden into a pile on command (no really, I did think I would teach my dog this). Nikki doesn't do any of that. It would certainly be convenient if she did. But the convenience would be for me, not for her. And the thing is, all of that stuff that had once presented themselves as necessary fruits of successful training now seems utterly unimportant.

Most people praise the puppy's confidence when they first meet her. This is noteworthy because rescue dogs suffer all sorts of fears and traumas. Nikki doesn't have deep-seated fears or traumas; she explores with refreshing curiosity that makes you see the world differently with every walk. Nikki has a pulling tendency on leash. I actually looked into training her out of this, but decided not to, because the "solution" involves training the dog to pay attention to you the entire walk, ignoring the surrounding. What a limiting way to live! She extends herself eagerly towards every person, every dog (although she could benefit from learning boundaries). This, to me, is success.

As always, the breakdown of nature vs. nurture is not clear, but it's fair to say that both contributed some amount. Imagine a parallel universe with an abused Nikki; she would be fearful and traumatized.

In humans, scientific literature leans heavily towards nurture having very little effects on the big five personality traits. To say that nurture doesn't matter, however, is misguided. For one, there are many other personality dimensions. More importantly, good nurturing is not guiding children towards a destination of ideal personality types, but to provide the tools with which children can make the best of their personalities, in their journey towards themselves.

This holiday season, I got to spend some time with a good friend and her two-year-old. The baby reminds me of Nikki: confident, no fear, no traumas, friendly towards others, unbounded curiosity towards the world. I had thought that there was a lot of parallels between raising a puppy and raising a baby, and discussions with my friend confirmed that our approaches were similar in important ways. (Sometimes people also look at me weirdly for comparing a kid to a dog, so be assured that the parents weren't offended by this comparison.) Much of traditional parenting is akin to teaching a puppy obedience and cool tricks. I wouldn't go so far as to say that that approach is wrong; but to raise a being, human or puppy, and allow them the space to grow into positivity and confidence, and grow into themselves, means to prioritize their personality over your own (and sometimes, other people's) convenience. To offer guidance and a secure base, but get out of the way.

Mainstream discourse oscillates between two worlds: you're a tiger mom, or you're coddling your children. But my friend's baby is the living and growing demonstration that there are better ways. The baby is smart and self-sufficient for her age. At less than two-year-old, she can recognize most letters in the alphabet. She runs around by herself chatting up other people; when she trips and falls, she stands up without crying. Her days are full of laughter. She's rarely told that she can't do something. She rarely cries; but when she does, the parents know something is wrong and offer affection. Babies likely won't remember specific memories of when they're two years old, but if ignored they will likely remember, subconsciously or not, feeling abandoned when scared and needing attention. Same for a dog ‒ leave a dog alone for several hours in the cargo hold of an airplane, and they will remember feeling scared and abandoned without their owner. To answer these cries at the right time is to offer a secure base from which they can grow.

I lead an education non-profit, and have pursued better education intervention for years. As children get older, challenges to their education grow exponentially: you have to help them to not only learn new things, but also unlearn old things. So a more effective intervention is to help younger children. All roads in educational thinking lead to the Roman empire of childhood parenting, not at the early school age of kindergarten, but at the even earlier age of babyhood. It's a shame, I think, that parenting education ‒ teaching parents how to do a better job ‒ isn't considered more of a public good. I think it's worth it to pay people to attend parenting school. But that's a subject for another day.

My friend, mother of the two-year-old in this essay, pointed out that even the "teaching" attitude of education is condescending and assuming. Children understand themselves, know (explicitly or implicitly) what they need, and in many cases, they have as much to teach us as we to teach them. I've long been interested in non-coercive education, with Sudbury schools in the US one example of such models. This isn't an essay about Sudbury schools, so I'll be brief in summarizing the important points. There's no curriculum, no requirements, other than being present in school a couple of hours per day. Children interact in a mixed-aged environment, between 5 and 19 years old, and participate in a one-person-one-vote democracy governance system, along with school staff, regardless of age. There has not been a lot of studies into these schools yet; there exists preliminary assessments that Sudbury students who choose to go to college do comparably to their traditional school peers, and all students as a whole lead happier lives. Regardless, the idea is intriguing. My hunch is that Sudbury does the "get out of the way" part very well. The guidance part, however, might benefit from extra structure. A sometimes pipe dream of mine is to open a similar school, with rooms for rotating "X-in-residence" every semester where X could be anything (astronaut, artist, chemist, entrepreneur...). The in-residence professional would do their work in their office, interact with the students when approached, introduce them to the work and profession. Not only would this provide more guidance and inspiration, it would also bridge the gap between school and the real world.

At the end of the day, a school is just a school. Another school doesn't solve the scalability problem of education. Another Sudbury school might provide an intermediate milestone by further popularizing the idea; but to me, the holy grail is not to open more Sudbury schools, but to bring the philosophy of Sudbury schools into the household of every child. Teach parents to respect their children's personalities and get out of the way. Allow children to decide how they want to spend their time. Give children a voice and a vote in decision making processes. More public goods in the form of free, accessible events with inspiring people, so children can explore their interests. Give parents incentives to bring their children there. Every child should be given security and the space to grow into the best version of themselves.

[prince-rowan-of-the-forest]

Fantasy Au??? I WOULD LOVE TO HEAR ABOUT IT!!🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩

Ok sorry for taking a hot minute but I keep forgetting haha

I'm just going to talk about the character's backstories here, (this post is a bit more info on the characters themselves, go read it- or don't, but some stuff might make more sense if you do)

Roman, Remus and Logan

They basically grew up together in the palace.

Logan is about six years older then Roman and Remus, so while he isn't actually related to them, he's like an older brother figure.

Logan's father is the royal adviser and Logan is training to take over the role when his dad retires.

His current job is to keep the princes in check, he's just a glorified babysitter.

Remus doesn't want to be the crown prince, Logan often has to drag him to the lessons so that he actually goes.

When Remus ran away, Logan was glad he was picked to accompany Roman, although he doesn't show it, he loves his honorary brothers.

Patton

Patton is the son of the village healer, so he knows a fair bit about medicine and healing practice from her

When he wasn't helping to run his mother's shop, he was out in the village running errands for people of helping them with chores/tasks.

His village was pretty small

When he was around 16 years old, Patton realised that the people in the village didn't actually really need him. Everyone was as happy and healthy as they could be, but he still wanted to help people, so he decided to leave and find other villages to help.

He's been travelling all over the place for around 10 years before meeting Roman and Logan.

From traveling so much, he's heard a lot of gossip and rumours, he'd been hearing tidbits about the crown prince for about a month before meeting Roman and Logan, so he had helpful information for their quest.

Logan really didn't trust him at first, but Patton gains his trust over time, don't you worry :)

Virgil

He's been locked in his tower for 15 years, and he was taken there when he was 5 years old, so he doesn't have that many memories of his kingdom.

He's grown to strongly dislike his parents for doing this to him without telling him why. Yes, Virgil doesn't know why he's stuck here except that he has to stay and wait to be rescued.

The dragon that guards his tower is actually really chill and nice, at least to Virgil, she acts like a mother to him- in her own dragon way.

She decides whether potential rescuers are worthy of her 'son' or not- and kills those who aren't which is most of them.

Virgil could probably just have left the tower whenever he wanted, but he's gained pretty bad anxiety about the outside world, he's scared by how much he doesn't know.

You can guarantee that the goodbye between Virgil and the dragon when Roman rescues him is very sad.

Janus

I have his design here! If anyone wants to see it :)

He was sold into captivity as an egg. He's never known his parents or any others of his kind.

He's suffered quite a lot, qt the hands of multiple different races, but he has lived long enough to know that some people can be good.

He's never learned his native language or culture, because he was never exposed to it, he has been able to learn the common language spoken by most people though, just from overhearing others.

He can transform into a fully human form or a half snake form, and he's managed to hide this from most of his captors.

The last place he was captive in was a circus that used him as an exhibit, the ringmaster was abusive and just kinda horrible.

He escaped with the help of a tabaxi trapezist who found out about his human form

They got split up somewhere along the way and Janus hasn't seen them since.

Considering he has hardly any knowledge of how people function in a society and also the fact that he has major trust issues for obvious reasons, he struggles to survive on the streets, having to steal and hide to survive.

He knows the men from the circus are still after him, so he's also on the run from them.

Roman saves him from two asshole guards who caught him stealing and were going to hurt him for it (imagine the scene from Aladdin where the merchant threatens to cut off Jasmine's hand for stealing)!

Patton helps to heal the wounds that Janus already has, and insists he joins their party because he's obviously injured and malnourished and Patton just wants to help him.

Janus sees this as a pretty good opportunity and joins them, but he's still increadibly wary of them and does his best to keep as much distance as possible.

He acts like an asshole to protect himself.

His backstory makes me sad.

Another infodump, haha. I apologize again.

[archived-kin]

you go to a devildom zoo and a penguin attempts to seduce you (the brothers are not happy)

note from kin: this was meant to be out way sooner but covid-19 and a whole lot of catch-up coursework said no to that idea >:(

anyway formatting on mobile is actual ass so let me know if this ends up unreadable!

enjoy, darlings!

fandom: obey me!

character(s): gn!reader, lucifer, mammon, leviathan, satan, asmodeus, beelzebub, belphegor, diavolo (mentioned briefly)

pairing(s): demon brothers/reader, penguin/reader (one-sided), a bat also very briefly tries to seduce you

warning(s): reader really loves deadly creatures which i know isn't really a warning but just as a heads up for those who can't relate i guess??? also this is ended up WAY longer than i intended lmao

genre: fluff (but also crack)

oh the pure joy you felt when you found out that there are zoos in the devildom

zoos full of sphinxes, chimeras, hydras, krakens, manticores, basilisks and griffins, but zoos nonetheless

in fact, you’d argue that the fact that the zoos here are full of potentially lethal legendary beasts is even COOLER

so, naturally, you begged lucifer to let you go to one

his response?

“absolutely not, you could be killed.”

well now that’s just unfair

there are so many things down here in the devildom that could kill you! the heat, the food, the dragons just wandering around in the skies, your fellow students at rad, belphie, not sleeping enough, the stupidly narrow staircases, lucifer himself! in fact, you’d argue that lucifer has already come close to killing you more times than any of those creatures at the zoo

unfortunately that was entirely was the wrong thing to say because now lucifer’s gone all broody on you

you just KNOW he’s gonna spend all of next week either drowning himself in work or sulking in the music room if you don’t cheer him up quickly

so you guess it’s time to pull out the puppy eyes and hope that they work

spoiler alert: they do. you also end up being stuck in lucifer’s arms for about five hours afterwards as he cuddles out all of his negative thoughts, but that’s not a bad thing, so you’re not complaining

the next day, however, you are BACK on your bullshit

and you are back with a vengeance!

you are getting a trip to that zoo whether lucifer likes it or not and you will not rest until you succeed

your first idea is to go to diavolo for help because.... he’s diavolo and lucifer would listen to that demon before anyone, including himself

unfortunately that doesn’t work because diavolo is out on a business trip to the human world with barbatos

(which means your butler buddy, who could probably have helped you make your case, is also out of the picture)

you suppose that you could try getting simeon in on the scheme but you’re pretty sure he’d end up making it worse with his insatiable penchant for teasing lucifer

your final solution?

cry

and it worked a treat too!

lucifer is just a sucker for his human and he doesn’t like seeing them sad okay :((

he finally agrees to let you go to the big zoo just north of RAD since it’s directly under diavolo’s jurisdiction, but he also makes you promise that you’ll take at least one brother with you

(he’s hoping you’ll choose him)

but then you uno reverse card him!

jokes on you, lucifer, your human wants a family day out!!

lucifer would be lying if his heart didn’t swell slightly when you proclaimed you wanted all the brothers to come with you so that you could all spend the day together having fun

although you may have just made a mistake because now lucifer is going to do everything in his power to make sure the day goes perfectly, and if that means smiting the rude demon in line in front of you, then what about it?

(luckily you stop him from the killing someone before you’re even inside, but it was a close call)

the moment the eight of you step into the zoo satan whisks you off to look at the devildom equivalent of big cats

which means the sphinxes and manticores first, then the giant fire-breathing tigers

he’s planning to have a nice heart-to-heart conversation with you while the two of you stroll along the exhibit, but then you both get distracted by how cool the animals are

so the two of you just end up dragging each other back and forth to look at one creature after another

not the romantic scene satan initially had in mind, but he’d be lying if he said this wasn’t also absolutely perfect

holding your hand while you talk enthusiastically about how majestically that manticore leapt thirty feet into the air with your entire face lighting up like the most beautiful lantern in the world? stunning. outstanding. he wouldn’t want to be anywhere else.

meanwhile, back at the entrance, levi is sulking, mammon is fuming, beel is already stuffing himself with overpriced food stall delicacies, belphie has crawled under a bench to nap while he waits for you to come back, asmo is taking pictures with the extra long-legged flamingo billboard, and lucifer is so preoccupied with trying to figure out just how the hell the walking system here works that he hasn’t even noticed that you and satan have just disappeared into the void

in the end the remaining brothers split off into pairs, all agreeing that whoever is the first to find you and satan will get to have some one-on-one time with you next

and, drumroll please, that lucky pair turns out to be... beel and belphie!

(really they have an unfair advantage though since beel can smell out anyone he knows from a mile away)

meanwhile satan has just spent just about all of the grimm he brought with him on a hideously overpriced plush version of the manticore you were so fascinated with

but the smile on your face when he gives it to you?? the LIGHT that exudes from you when you declare that the plush’s name is now greenie because it has green eyes just like his?? worth it. absolutely worth it.

but uh oh, the moment is soon to be gone, because guess who’s here?

beel and belphie can’t let satan have all your attention! beel is a little more forgiving, but belphie is going to make sure he’s the first to get a kiss today, anti-lucifer club alliance be damned!

he’s not going to admit that of course. instead, he’s going to very subtly hip-bump satan out of the way so that he can hold your hand instead (beel can have the other hand, but if he tries to pull you away, he’s getting what-for.)

normally satan would be pretty miffed by this, but hey, he’s in a good mood right now and he doesn’t want to spoil the day by getting pissy, so he lets the twins get away with it. younger sibling privilege, am I right?

belphie wants to take you to his particular favourite exhibit here, the giant carnivorous cattle with horns the size of chair legs

beel, on the other hand, suggests that maybe you don’t want to see a gargantuan mammal tear apart a giant piece of meat that may or may not have been sourced from a human graveyard (the giant carnivorous cattle are picky, okay? at least they’re not murdering people for the meat)

you, however, are absolutely fearless

besides, what harm can a giant carnivorous cattle with horns the side of chair legs do to you when it’s being kept behind six inches of hellfire trench, with three of the devildom’s most powerful demons close by to swoop in to your rescue?

beel begrudgingly agrees to go see the giant carnivorous cattle, but makes you promise to stay slightly behind him so that he can jump to defend you should they get out of hand

your big strong demon standing in front of you, protecting you as you get to look at a super cool and also deadly creature? you are absolutely on board with this.

(satan is slightly concerned by your willingness to go near creatures that could tear you to pieces in a second, but if he gets to see you smile like that again then... well, what can he say, he’s a simp)

so off you go!

the giant carnivorous cattle are AWESOME. you get to watch a trio of them eat what appears to be an entire car in, like, two seconds, tops, and they don’t even look bothered by the metal disappearing down their massive gullets.

(you ask belphie in an undertone why the cattle are eating cars if they’re carnivorous. his response is that even giant carnivorous cattle need their minerals, so the zookeepers feed them a bunch of the metal stuff you get in human scrapyards.)

(sounds like an RSPCA violation to you...)

you’re practically tumbling over the fence as you lean forward to get a proper look at them and their adorable tiny wings, so belphie ends up having to pull you back

just as he does it, however, he has a very bright idea

so instead of gently tugging you back as he’d originally planned, he practically yanks you into him, conveniently slipping your hand out of beel’s in the process

listen, it’s not that belphie resents letting beel hold hands with you at the same time as him. a demon’s just gotta get his hugs sometimes, alright?

of course you’re a little miffed about being so violently yoinked, so you’re about to turn around and give belphie a piece of your mind, but then he pulls you close to him and nuzzles his nose into your hair

how are you supposed to scold him for that???

he seems so content and he’s even doing that adorable little purring thing demons do when they’re happy that he never does in public

you can’t just pull out of his arms! it’s probably illegal!!!!!

belphie gets a pass for being cute this time. only this time. no more.

(as an aside, this sort of thing happens at least once a day because belphie’s a whiny little baby who can’t go twelve hours without your love)

anyway now beel looks a little downtrodden which you are not having

your solution? wait until belphie lets go of you on his own and then you can give beel a hug of his own.

unfortunately belphie doesn’t seem interested in separating from you

luckily you don’t end up having to deal with that, because then satan steps in

partially because he feels bad for beel and also partially because okay that’s enough touching now, know your boundaries

which means it’s BEEL’S TURN TO SHINE

does this demon want you to die? because that is what’s going to happen if he keeps being so friggin sweet

first of all he buys you a bunch of treats from the nearby food stalls with his own money and offers every single one to you

is he on drugs? is that what’s happening here? what happened to the avatar of gluttony who ate first and asked questions later???

of course you aren’t going to be so cruel as to take every single one of the treats he’s offering when you can physically hear his stomach rumble as he holds them out to you

instead, you take a handful or so and tell him to eat the rest himself because he deserves it

beel almost tears up he’s so happy he loves you so much in that moment

some may say he’s being dramatic but beel says that every moment with you is a treasure and he has every right to be emotional

belphie is a teensy bit pissed that satan simp-policed him when he’s just as whipped but it’s beel so... he’ll stay down

satan, meanwhile, starts snapping pictures of you at every opportunity, most of them candids, to save to the album he has dedicated especially to you, and also to send to the brothers’ group chat to brag

asmo responds to each one with even more heart emojis than the last, levi always has some kind of jealous comment to make, lucifer stays silent (satan knows he’s saving the photos to his own gallery to gaze affectionately at later though), and mammon just keeps sending angry stickers and then quickly adding that they’re not aimed at you but at satan for having the audacity

anyway, the four of you end up leaving the giant carnivorous cow exhibit after spending a few minutes just sitting together on one of the giant benches while you and beel (mostly beel) eat the giant pile of food he purchased

(beel’s not evil so he offers satan and belphie some obviously, but he makes it clear that you’re getting first pick)

beel’s about to ask where you want to head next when

here comes trouble

and make it double

asmo and levi are IN the building (zoo)

levi, having gotten so antsy waiting for you to show up, disregards all subtlety and basically throws himself right at you, scoops you up, and takes off

leaving behind your poor manticore plush, a stunned satan, beel, belphie, and asmo, who immediately starts running after the two of you, shouting ‘hey, that isn’t fair!’

satan, belphie and beel are left to exchange disbelieving looks and attempt to follow

(don't worry about greenie, satan picks him up and vows to keep him safe until he meets up with you again)

meanwhile you are being quite literally swept off your feet

“levi. levi stop i can walk. levi i’m coming to aquarium with you. you don’t need to pull me. levi i’m getting a little dizzy over here. levi please”

luckily you are saved from your impending doom (because, realistically, there is no way mr hasn’t-exercised-in-several-millennia can carry someone halfway across the biggest zoo in all three realms without tripping) by asmo

now, asmo does not like exercise. it makes him all hot and sweaty (and not in the sexy way) and it’s just... not it. however, because it’s you, he will make an exception just this once.

so he grits his teeth, pins back his long-ass fringe with a cute butterfly clip, and runs for it

normally jealous-mode levi will not stop for anything, but a running asmo in the right situation is even more terrifying than a quiet angry lucifer, and a quiet angry lucifer normally means multiple people are getting burnt alive

so what does levi do? naturally, he stops in his tracks, lets out a scream of such a high frequency that he disturbs a flock of deathseye hawks nesting in a tree nearby, and almost drops you on your head

asmo immediately stops running, takes a moment to dab off any sweat on his forehead with his dainty little pink handkerchief, and lets his hair back down

because he is not exercising for a second longer than he has to

anyway, now that you’re not being torpedo’d halfway across the world, you can finally take a second to breathe and actually ask levi what he wants

he goes pink and stares shame-facedly at the ground and refuses to say a word, especially with avatar of lust ‘i like teasing my brothers to the point where it might be sexual harassment’ asmodeus Right There behind you

but you want your purple boy to be honest!! which means it is puppy dog eyes time again

finally, staring determinedly off to the side, levi mumbles, “you promised we’d go see the fish...”

oh your poor heart

you’re inclined to start pressing kisses all over his face, but you just know he will immediately blow up on the spot if you do in such a public area, so you settle on giving him a subtle hug and reassuring him that yes, you will go see the fish with him

now, asmo’s a hoe for attention, we all know that, but even he has his moments

so, making you promise to go see the birds of arcadia with him later, he departs with a wave and a very sneaky kiss planted on your cheek to let you and levi have your time together

thanks asmo

so off you and levi go!

the aquarium FUCKS

sorry that was too strong

the aquarium is GORGEOUS

it’s got this beautiful deep blue-green ambient lighting, and there are enormous tanks for the giant sharks that essentially make up the walls and ceiling

and there are SO MANY FISH!

rainbow fish, neon pink fish, fish with tiny markings that make them look like they have moustaches, fish with scales that change colour every five seconds, glow-in-the-dark fish, fish the size of a small car

literally any kind of fish you can imagine? they HAVE THEM

you’re almost too distracted to notice levi tugging aggressively on your sleeve

when you do, though, he quickly ushers you over into the tunnel exhibit, where the dolphins live

devildom dolphins look pretty similar to regular human dolphins, except they live in what’s essentially hydrochloric acid and are pitch black in colour with bright purple eyes

you’re pretty confused as to why levi wanted to drag you in here so quickly - you’d have thought he’d go for the goldfish, or the venomous water serpents, or even the special hydra exhibit they’ve got for a limited time

but then levi pulls you over to the very edge, taps his fingers lightly on the glass, and... starts clicking and chirruping?

you’re about to very concernedly ask if he’s feeling alright when something amazing happens

the giant male with scars all over it who, according to one of the signs along the tunnel, spends most of his time skulking as far away from the glass as possible and will eat any demon who comes too close, swims over to him

then, wearing the gentlest little smile, levi turns to you and tells you to say hello to captain

you almost yell out of sheer excitement, but you manage to collect yourself

instead, what comes out is an aggressively whispered:

"hello!! hi, captain!! it's lovely to meet you!! i love you!!!!"

and captain loves you too!!!!!

he swims right up to you and butts his nose against the glass

well you can't not immediately press your face against the glass as well so it looks like you're bumping noses with him can you???

so you do exactly that

all the while going "hello!! hello!! you're such a pretty boy!! what a handsome boy!!"

levi almost cries because you are just too perfect

you love captain? and captain loves you too? he seriously has to hold himself back from dropping to one knee and proposing right then and there

after taking a moment to get his heart to calm down, he translates what you're saying to captain, who immediately starts clicking back

and guess what??? captain says you're the prettiest!!!!!!!!! you’re the handsomest!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

now you're going to cry

you and levi spend ages in that tunnel together, just talking to captain and holding hands and exchanging little kisses now and then

levi is so in his element here in the aquarium that he isn't even as nervous and stuttery with his affection as usual

it's almost jarring, but are you complaining? absolutely not

when and levi emerge from the aquarium, both a little giddy and still enthusiastically talking about all the other creatures you said hi to after captain (who you are most definitely coming back to visit sometime), asmo is waiting outside so impatiently that he's getting a lot of irritated looks for his aggressive foot-tapping

levi wants to go see the reptiles now, but then asmo plays the 'i let you get away with having alone time, now let me have mine, bitch’ card

and to be honest levi's pretty sure that even self-proclaimed romance expert asmo can't top the mini-aquarium date you've just had with him, sooooo...

buying you a little keychain replica of captain just to get a final one over his brother, he bids you goodbye and goes off to the reptile house on his own, pulling on his headphones on his way so that he won't accidentally end up talking to some stranger again

it is now asmo's time to shine!!!

and so off the two of you head off to the birds of arcadia exhibit

however, it seems that asmo doesn’t have much interest in the birds themselves apart from for taking pictures with them for his devilgram

the birds are beautiful indeed, but guess what else is also beautiful? here is a short and concise list:

1. holding asmo’s hand

2. giving asmo kisses

3. receiving kisses from asmo

4. giving asmo hugs

5. receiving hugs from asmo

6. cuddling with asmo

7. sleeping with asmo (in the literal sense)

8. sleeping with asmo (in the not so litera—)

this has been a short and concise list of things that are very beautiful and you should absolutely do right this second (not ghost-written by asmodeus, avatar of lust, not at all)

anyway, it’s kind of hard to concentrate on that adorable neon striped pecker sitting close by to you when asmo is draping himself all over you like a damn scarf

it’s cute! it’s cute. but.... the birds...... you want to see the birds.........

in the end the two of you settle on a compromise: asmo will let you have some time to just look at the pretty birds as long as you keep holding his hand, and then the two of you will go and get matching face paint together

asmo’s kinda pouty about it at first, but he quickly changes his mind when he sees how enamoured you are by the birds

you really are too cute!! he just wants to scoop you up and cover you with kisses, but he’s already promised to leave that for when you aren’t in the middle of a busy public space

(he definitely isn’t the slightest bit jealous of them because he wants to be the only beautiful thing that you look at like that. he knows he’s prettier than those birds.)

(but, like... he’s still gonna puff up his chest a bit when he catches one edging just a bit too close to you. he may be the avatar of lust, but he does have his moments of jealousy as well… even if they’re at blooming birds.)

finally, when you’ve decided that you’ve had your fill of gorgeous birds, asmo immediately pulls you off to the face-painting booth

all the designs the demons managing it have come up with are pretty beautiful, so he’s not bothered about which one to get as long as you two are matching

which means you get to choose!!!!

at first he thinks you’ll ask for the super popular one that imitates the feather pattern of the most popular bird of arcadia, the lesser spotted spectra

but then you turn to look at him, think for a moment, turn back to the demon doing the painting, and ask if they do custom designs

asmo can only watch on, confused, as you and the demon whisper conspiratorially back and forth for five minutes

then the demon has started painting, and the cheeky little grin on your face is making him a little worried that you’ve deliberately asked for a really stupid design just to mess with him

but then, as the strokes and colours all come together, he realises something that might make him a little teary eyed. just a little bit.

the design you’ve asked for just so happens to be the gorgeous, swirling pattern of the avatar of lust’s pact mark

and it’s not just that, either. he takes a closer look and realises that the little flowers added around the edges are his favourite kind of rose as well

and THEN the demon doing the painting turns to him and tells him with a smirk that, by your suggestion, the paint he’s using has been enchanted so that it goes rainbow when you kiss the person who’s wearing it

oh, he really should have had more faith in you! this is even better than anything he could come up with!!!

(he takes about a million photos of you while he’s waiting for his own turn and sends at least a quarter of them to the group chat)

asmo is practically vibrating with excitement as he sits there getting his own face painted

and if you think he doesn’t drag you off to some secluded corner for a good half an hour just pressing little kisses all over your face and giggling when he pulls away and your face paint has gone all the colours of the rainbow, you are severely wrong

of course, he wants kisses as well. this is a give-and-take system and he wants just as much as he gives!!!

unfortunately, there is one disadvantage to spending so much time just canoodling

the others haven’t heard from you or asmo in a good hour and they are beginning to PANIC

mammon in particular is practically shooting off the walls and just constantly spamming you with ‘WHERE ARE YOU’ and ‘COME BACK’ messages

asmo doesn’t want you to go but he’s also kind of running off a high right now so he decides it’s okay and sends you off you find mammon with a cheery wave (and a love struck sigh once you’re out of earshot)

you find mammon just walking in circles in the communal area outside the cannibalistic not-zebras exhibit

he almost bursts into tears when you come up to him and tap him on the shoulder because it feels like he hasn’t seen you for what feels like hours and hours and he just,,, he missed you okay

after five minutes of him just furiously rubbing his eyes and refusing to admit why, he gathers himself and asks you what you want to go see

you have to think for a good long while because, while you’ve been to plenty of zoos in the human world and know by now the sorts of animals most of them have, devildom creature species are unpredictable

you could jokingly say ‘hyper-aware empathetic goose’ and they’d probably have one

but then you have a look around you and see the big map

and what is the first thing you see on that map?

‘vampiric venomous bats’

oh fuck yeah

mammon is a little concerned because the vvbs are known to randomly swoop down and attack the people who walk into their exhibit

he knows you can protect yourself!! but when you’re being swarmed by a horde of more than fifty giant bat creatures with enormous teeth full of venom that can kill you in seconds, there’s really not much you can do

and there is no expressing the amount of absolute misery that would descend on him if he let you get hurt

so instead, you make a compromise and decide to go to scheduled talk on the vvbs in ten minutes instead

normally mammon finds these zoo talks boring as all hell, but heck, if he gets to hold your hand for a whole forty five minutes without having to make an excuse to do so, he’s down

so off you go to the talk!

you’re having the absolute time of your life as the keeper shows you one of the more lethargic bats and describes exactly how it paralyses its prey with high frequency screeches and then kills it with a single bite to the neck

mammon, on the other hand, is honestly kind of spooked

that bat may be half-asleep, but it’s got the eyes of a murderer

so what if he shuffles a little closer to you every time the bat moves?? it’s not like he’s scared of it or anything! no way!

(please hold him or he may cry)

but then... DISASTER strikes

the keeper looks out across her bright-eyed audience, listening attentively to her explanation of how the vvb detects prey through the slightest vibrations in the air... and asks if there are any volunteers who want to hold it

everyone goes quiet. they’re all looking at the floor and avoiding eye contact like students who don’t want to be picked to answer a question in class. they may be demons, but even they know danger when they see it.

except...

mammon is just commenting to himself in amusement about how quiet everyone’s gotten when he looks to the side and practically feels his heart freeze

your hand has flown straight up into the air, and before he can pull it down, the keeper has called on you

mammon may be just as terrified of that bat as everyone else, but he isn’t going to let you go near that thing without him to protect you

the keeper looks a little befuddled as to why one of the most powerful demons in the devildom is following you up to the front like a very attached duckling, but luckily she goes along with it

first she gives you a super thick dragonhide glove to wear, just in case the bat gets violent

then she attaches the little lead around one of the bat’s feet to the end of the glove, so that even if it tries to attack an uncovered spot on your body, it’ll just get pulled back

(meanwhile, mammon, standing just behind you, is just barely holding back from bursting into demon form and wrapping himself around you to protect you)

and so, as you watch in anticipation and mammon in terror, the keeper slowly moves the bat from her arm to yours

at first it just kind of sits there and blinks and... doesn’t really do much

the keeper, however, seems very happy about this

“it means she already trusts you!!!”

and she tells you to try a simple little trick

“just flick your wrist up and she should swing down to hang from your hand!”

mammon is very pointedly whispering to you that that’s enough, you’ve held the bat, come on let’s get out of here

but you are determined to continue putting your life in danger, it seems, because you do exactly what the keeper says

and it works!!!

piki, which you have learned is the name of this particular bat, lets out a quiet squeak and drops to hang from one of the enormous fingers of your glove

you immediately go ‘wooAAAAAAAAAH’

mammon almost bites his tongue in half because of how on edge he is, but it turns out that he doesn’t need to be

because the bat turns to you, blinks once, and suddenly puffs up around the neck

you panic a little at first, but the keeper seems incredibly excited

“she’s displaying!!!!!!! she likes you!!!!!!!!!!! she sees you as a potential mate!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

okay mammon is not having any of that

he is not about to be upstaged by a goddamn bat

and so the instant the bat and glove is removed from you, he grabs you by the hand and charges right out of that room, shouting something about it being urgent

leaving poor piki the vampiric venomous bat squeaking sadly because her new crush is gone

sad :(

now mammon is buying you a giant plush to make up for dragging you away like that

happy! :)

and you KNOW this means a great deal because mammon does not part with his money very easily. in fact, most of the time, one would have to physically threaten him into buying something for them

and the fact that mammon bought you a ridiculously expensive enormous plush that probably dug a pretty big hole in his savings without you even asking??? your heart basically melts on the spot

now you definitely can’t get angry at him for pulling you away so suddenly

so instead the two of you go to see the giant narwhals

you’re fascinated, but mammon is too distracted to even look at the narwhals

he just keeps staring at you looking so happy hugging the giant plush he bought for you so close to yourself with this giant dopey grin on his face

(s i m p)

he’s shaken out of his infatuated daze when he hears a camera shutter directly behind him

at first he whips around ready to fight because he’s expecting levi or asmo, but then he looks up slightly and comes face to face with none other than his beloved older brother

lucifer doesn’t even try to hide the tiny grin on his face as he very slowly raises his phone and takes a photo of mammon’s half shocked and half irritated face

mammon is so dumbfounded by how much kinder lucifer looks when he smiles like that. he doesn’t even recover in time to tell you who’s just showed up - you end up noticing by yourself

you should have given lucifer a bit of warning because the moment you turn around and and greet him with such a bright and happy smile on his face he is DECEASED

all you and mammon see is his cheeks going pink but let me tell you this man is screeching like a trapped possum on the inside

lucifer may act like he’s a Big Important Unfeeling Demon but everyone else knows that this man would quite literally bring you the moon if you asked (he probably wouldn’t be able to pull down the entire moon, but damn him if he isn’t going to try)

he has to stay silent for a moment because he knows that if he speaks his voice is going to crack and mammon absolutely would NOT let him forget that for the rest of his long life

once he’s managed to get his puddle of a heart back to a state where he can speak without sounding like the physical embodiment of being smitten, he’s quick to offer to take you to the nearby penguin exhibit

he’s paid attention to the messages he’s been receiving periodically from the other brothers throughout the day about the things you’ve been getting up to with them, and he has seen a pattern in the sort of creatures you like the best

that pattern is: the more deadly, the better, with bonus points if it still looks cute

and lucifer has been to this zoo enough times to know most of the best exhibits pretty well (especially since diavolo’s taste in deadly creatures is very similar to yours, so he knows that any of the demon prince’s favourites will probably end up pretty high in your list as well)

therefore he knows that the devildom’s penguins are about two and a half meters tall, with millions of retractable fangs in their beaks and venom sacs in their necks that they can spray so violently and quickly that they’ve become known as ‘venom machine guns’

and you are ALL ABOUT THAT

you’re so excited by the concept of these penguins that you don’t think twice before tucking your arm into lucifer’s outstretched one and following him off to the exhibit

leaving mammon pouting furiously behind the two of you

now, while the avatar of greed doesn’t dare to directly interfere with his older brother, he most certainly dares to inconvenience him

what does that mean? it means that mammon is immediately whipping out his DDD and shooting a quick message to the group chat specifically made without lucifer to let everyone know what’s going down

and, within ten minutes, every single one of the other brothers are heading right for the penguin exhibit as well

lucifer is in the middle of listening to you excitedly talk about piki the bat when he feels something hit him in the back

he turns to see, with great dismay, that the six other brothers have started following behind the two of you, and have begun taking turns throwing things at him. satan doesn’t stop even when he realises that he’s been spotted.

lucifer feels a vein pop in his cheek when satan manages to nail him right in the middle of the forehead with a screwed-up ball of paper

unfortunately for lucifer (and fortunately for the other six brothers), you quickly take notice of the group following behind you

the avatar of pride can only watch in dismay as you call out for the others to come join you to see the penguins

well, obviously, the others are coming now that you’re inviting them over!!

asmo immediately jumps to give you a little kiss on the nose just so he can see your face light up in all the colours of the rainbow again

(which earns several surprised noises from the other brothers since, while they knew from the pictures from asmo that the two of you had gotten your faces painted, they didn’t know the paint did that)

belphie subtly shuffles up behind you to give you a little prize figurine he spent way too long trying to win on one of the zoo’s mini claw-machine games, while beel attempts to find a stealthy way of sneaking the bag of treats he’s carefully sourced for you into your pockets, but ends up giving up on that and just hands you the bag instead

levi is still on a bit of a high from the mini aquarium date, so his face immediately goes fifty shades of red when he sees you, but instead of running off like he usually does when he’s flustered, he just offers you the WIDEST smile

satan is a little disheartened when he realises just how much bigger the plushie mammon got for you is than greenie... but who cares!! greenie is small and cute!! he most definitely isn’t puffing up slightly like an indignant owl when he sees you hug that plushie to yourself like it’s the softest thing in the world!! no sir!!!!!!

mammon is being kinda whiny about lucifer barging in and ruining your one and one time together, but then satan reminds him that they’ve all just interrupted lucifer’s one on one time with you before it could even really begin, and also points out (a little saltily) that, judging by the giant plushie in your arms, he’s already spent more than enough time with you

(luckily mammon isn’t exactly perceptive so he doesn’t pick up on it or else satan would be in for one hell of a teasing)

you, meanwhile, don’t miss the way that lucifer not so subtly presses himself closer to you as the eight of you are walking to see the penguins

so close that your arms are physically touching

it’s not like lucifer to be this clingy (well, clingy by his standards, anyway), but you aren’t going to bring it up considering that he would probably immediately move away out of ~pride~ if you did

unfortunately the other brothers don’t need you to point out lucifer’s behaviour to immediately start attempting to sabotage him

by the time you all get to the penguin exhibit, you’re surrounded completely by all seven of them, and they appear to be executing a genuine attempt to crush you if the pressure on all sides is anything to go off of

looking on the bright side of things, though, the penguins are SO CUTE

sure, they’re about nine feet tall with beaks full of millions of tiny serrated teeth and very toxic-looking feet-claws. but they’re ADORABLE

you love them so much!!!!!! but now the brothers are being big MEANIES and aren’t letting you get close to the fence

“those penguins can shoot venom up to twenty feet, we’re not taking any chances” so WHAT you just want to see the goddamn penguins!!!!!!!! you’ve survived countless near-death experiences down here, you can manage a bit of venom!

eventually your very pointed complaining finally gets most of them to relent (asmo is still against it, but majority vote says you get to get closer to the penguins, so HA) and you are allowed to go right up to barrier that separates the attraction from the spectators

you’re absolutely delighted, but the brothers quickly realise that their concerns about this whole thing were not unfounded

because that fucking penguin over there is totally giving you the googly eyes

levi is the first to notice - as the general of hell’s navy, he has a natural connection to all animals of the seas, even the ones that are only semi aquatic

satan notices soon after him - he’s been to plenty of ‘taming dangerous creatures’ club meetings, and he knows how to recognise attraction in animals

you yourself are pretty clueless until you suddenly notice that one of the flock is now sliding beak-first on its belly towards you

levi silently hopes you’ll be scared into leaving, but instead you just lean right up to the barrier (lucifer hurriedly grabs you by the arm before you fall over it) and whisper-shriek “hi baby!!!!!!!!!!!”

oh the brothers did not like that at all

but the penguin seems absolutely THRILLED

you’re pretty sure you see its eyes light up. like physically light up, not in the metaphorical sense - its eyes glow

(do devildom penguins understand human/demon speech?? you could swear from the penguin’s reaction to your greeting that they do, but when you ask satan about it later, he just scowls and shakes his head, proclaiming that devildom penguins have ‘a brain smaller than a tangerine and the motor function of a slightly bent paper clip’)

(damn satan you didn’t have to do the penguins like that)

anyway, this penguin, now thoroughly convinced that you are its destiny, hops to its feet, nods its head several times, then proceeds to start making the weirdest noise at you

you don’t even know how to describe it. it’s like a laser beam has been combined with a motorbike combined with a vacuum cleaner combined with levi when his favourite idol group releases a new song combined with that godawful screeching violin satan has been playing on repeat for two weeks just to annoy lucifer combined with, i don’t know, a turbo-charged printer or something. and then the whole thing’s been shoved through a dubstep filter.

it’s such a rattling sound that asmo, mammon, levi and belphie clap their hands to their ears, beel frowns so hard his entire face squishes inwards, satan recoils so far backwards that he’s about two feet further away from you than he was at first, and even lucifer actually physically flinches

(short break for a personal headcanon of mine but hear me out here: this man probably listens to nothing but full professional orchestra classical all day. he absolutely has that thing where his ears are sensitive to poorly played notes or just harsh grating sounds in general. you know, like how lan wangji and lan xichen in mdzs are physically repulsed by the sound of bad music? yeah that)

you wince slightly, but the pain in your eardrums is overpowered by your thrill about the fact that this penguin is actually talking to you

you smile wide and reply, leaning right up to the banister, “hello!! hi!! it's nice to meet you too!!”

if the penguin was happy before then it’s absolutely over the MOON now

it makes the weird honking sound again, nodding its head furiously at you, all the while shuffling closer and closer to the barrier

you are positively delighted by this development, but each of the demon brothers seem to be taking the penguin’s approach as a personal threat both to them and to you

beel’s expression is steadily scrunching up more and more in displeasure as each second passes, asmo’s glare could probably boil the penguin alive, and you’re pretty sure you just heard levi hiss at it

you turn around to try to tell them off for getting jealous over a penguin out of all things, but they are just not listening to reason

the penguin meanwhile is desperately trying to get your attention back by nodding even more frantically and honking so loudly that lucifer actually reels back a little

you try to turn back to it but then belphie decides that he’s going to shove his way right between you and the barrier and block the penguin’s line of sight

the penguin immediately sets up an extremely loud complaint, but belphie refuses to give it any rope at all

at this point the other brothers begin catching onto what he’s doing

mostly because of his weird twin telepathy thing, beel is the first to join belphie’s quest, with his giant frame being substantially more effective as a barrier, while asmo and satan work together to not-so-subtly start ushering the entire group backwards and away from the penguin

you’re attempting to protest, but lucifer is practically shouting over you about how interesting and fun you’ll find the giant giraffe exhibit, which just so happens to be on the other side of the zoo

the penguin is positively screeching at this point, but a moment later is suddenly goes silent. for a moment you’re afraid that one of the brothers have lost their nerve and actually killed it, but then you manage to spot it sliding away again around beel’s massive shoulder

turns out that, though his brothers don’t seem to care about his status and power placement at all, the avatar of greed’s glare is enough to silence even the most passionate of penguins

while the brothers exchange triumphant looks as they lead you away from the penguin exhibit, though, you’re more than a little upset by this whole ordeal.

the disrespect? abundant. the lack of sympathy? rampant. the audacity? sheer.

you make your displeasure very clear by scrunching up your face, crossing your arms, and refusing to respond to any of the brothers when they try to ask you something

goddammit, it was supposed to be a good thing that they saved you from the so obviously dangerous penguin, but now you’ve got them feeling bad

in the end, though, you still can’t stay mad at your boys for long

they all apologise (well, all of them except lucifer, whose pride will forever be his downfall, and belphie, who genuinely doesn’t think he’s done anything particularly wrong), and you can’t bring yourself to keep dampening the mood

so, with a short scolding that’s really little more than a light slap to the wrist to remind the boys that you don’t need to be protected from everything like some sort of delicate glass case despite how much they might think that’s the case, you’re back to your previous happy self

thank fuck

the rest of the day goes smoothly! the eight of you do indeed go to see the giant giraffes, which you actually get to feed, and beel somehow manages to knock down an entire row of rigged carnival targets to get you a pretty wooden carving of a super cool dragon

(you’re still not entirely sure how that happened but it was probably the sheer willpower)

you convince all of the brothers to take about three hundred photos with you in the cheesy green screen safari booths (it was mostly levi, lucifer and belphie who needed convincing, since beel and satan weren’t too fussed about it either way, and mammon and asmo were downright thrilled to do so)

lucifer buys the whole group matching keychains, despite the fact that they were pretty basic wood-and-plastic affairs but still cost a good fifty grimm each

(you’ve noticed that he seems to like doing that, considering the harrison porter keychain you’ve still got from that trip up to the human world back during the whole body swap fiasco)

he gets himself a fire-breathing peacock, mammon gets a gold-hoarding crow, levi gets a sea serpent, satan gets a good old regular cat, asmo gets a lesser spotted spectra, beel gets a manticore (since they’re known to eat more than three times their body mass on good days), belphie gets a giant carnivorous cow, and he begrudgingly lets you pick out the giant penguin design - as an apology for his actions earlier.

(you don’t fail to notice the slightly irritated looks levi and satan in turn both send the keychain as you tuck it safely into your pocket)

all in all

a lovely day out

10/10 would do again

[sweet-s0rr0w]

This is my Wheel of Drarry gift fic for the lovely @hogwartsfirebolt, E, I hope you like it!! 🐺❤ It's (obviously) werewolf Drarry, and I'm going to post one part each day. Thanks (er, mostly in advance) for the fab beta, @graymatters, you're an absolute gem! It's first person alternating POV, roughly T rated and has no real CWs, although there's a lot of meat consumed so vegetarians be aware! You can read it on AO3 here if you prefer.

Part One

Before we start, I want to make something clear.

There’s only one reason Potter came to me, and it has absolutely nothing to do with our history. Sure, it wasn’t a coincidence that he turned up on my doorstep, but it wasn’t due to some hidden desire to cause me bodily harm either. And it certainly wasn’t because of a longstanding crush, no matter what Witch Weekly thinks.

No, Potter chose me because he was looking for the best. And I’m it.

I’ve been doing this for a long time now, you see. The best part of two decades, give or take, and I’m bloody good at it. Go ahead, ask anyone in the know who’s the man (ha) you go to for this kind of thing, and they’ll all give you the same name: Draco Malfoy. Pans teases me about it, calls me the celebrity wolf whisperer. It pisses me off, but I’m always telling her she’s just my glorified make-up girl, so I guess we’re pretty much even.

Yes, I’ve seen it all before… or so I thought. People are all the same, you see. You’ve got your shy ones, your meek ones, the ones who tremble in their boots as they stand on my threshold. I had a teenage girl who was actually afraid of the dark once – can you imagine? But those types don’t cause me any trouble. I just let the wolf inside them do its work. When you’re top of the food chain, you soon find that there’s nothing left to fear.

I find the angry ones harder to deal with. The people who hate our kind, who blame me, by proxy, for what happened to them. I’ve been attacked in my own home, you know. More than once. I mean, it’s not like they can actually harm me, not really, but it is rather… frustrating.

Worse still are those who turn up depressed. Fatalistic. Would rather take an AK to the chest than accept what they’ve become. But hardest of all are those idiots who find themselves actually pleased with the situation they’re in. You won’t believe me, but they do exist. Usually got themselves bitten in some stupid dare, or a fight at a dodgy bar, and now they’re drunk on blood-lust and pissed as hell that the Ministry wants them to integrate when they’d be quite content to just get out on the hunt. Not easy to rein in, that lot. They often end up causing me quite a bit of bother.

Fortunately, most of my clients don’t fall into any of those categories. Most of them are regular wix, caught in the wrong place at the wrong time, who just want their old lives back. There’s still so much stigma, despite our best efforts here at the Foundation (the aforementioned reckless pricks don’t exactly help that, either), and many of them are still in shock themselves.

But whatever their circumstances, whatever their crimes, I do my job. And it’s always the same – I take them under my wing, spend a month or two working through their issues, then send them on their merry, wolfish way.

In twenty years, though, I’ve never had a client quite like Harry Potter.

You’d think if Potter was going to get bitten, it’d all be a kind of big heroic thing, wouldn’t you? A daring raid or something. Exposing a necromancy ring or dragging orphans from a burning building. Rescuing a Kneazle stuck in a tree. That’s the sort of stuff that ran through my mind, anyway, when I got the Floo call. Twenty years, and to me he’s still that faultless, shining Gryffindor darling. The Golden Prat. Shows what I know, I suppose.

Mind you, until he showed up on my doorstep, I’d only clapped eyes on him a handful of times over the years, and we’d never spoken. Although… well, I suppose that’s not completely true. A few years in, when the Foundation was starting to make a name for itself, even though it was still just Badru and me working night and day to modify the Wolfsbane, some grateful parent nominated us for a Ministry award. And we won, and – just my luck – who d’you think was up there on the dais, Order of Merlin pinned front and centre, handing out the envelopes? Yes, you guessed it. Malfoy, Potter had said to me then, grasping my hand so lightly that our skin barely brushed. That was it, just Malfoy, and a nod, the world’s most feeble handshake and the click of a lens, and then Potter’s eyes moved quickly onto Badru, and it was over. The Death Eater and the Boy Who Lived, and never the twain shall meet, I thought. Although the Death Eater thing – that’s not quite right either, is it?

Back to Potter, though, and the bite. Turns out, it wasn’t an Auror thing. I didn’t even know he’d quit the DMLE, although when I asked Pans about it, she just rolled her eyes, like I should have spent less time working and more time keeping up with important things, like the Prophet’s gossip pages. Potter’s up at Hogwarts now, she tells me; everyone knows that. Apparently he took the job as groundskeeper after Hagrid buggered off to France to get married. So Potter’s got all that power, all that potential, all that political sway, and he chooses to spend his days bowing to Hippogriffs and dragging First Years out of the Forest. Sounds about right.

I can’t pretend it doesn’t suit him, though. When he turns up at my front door, all brooding and petulant like we’re still fifteen years old – jaw set, arms folded sulkily so his white t-shirt pulls across the expanse of his chest – I swear to Merlin my first thought is shit, getting bitten hasn’t exactly done you any harm, has it?

My subsequent thoughts, of course, are much more professional.

[mamitomoesyandereblog]

First time doing one of these, how about some yandere mami tomoe x reader headcanons?

Of course! You can certainly tell by the whole aesthetic of the blog; but Mami is my favourite character from the series. That being said; I'll try to do my best. Hope you like it; dear anon. ^^

Tw;

Yandere stuff, unusual behaviours, unhealthy relationships, mentions of kidnapping/Stockholm syndrome , mentions of suicide

I don't support this kind of actions or behaviour in any way; this is just fiction and should stay fiction.

(Spoilers For Puella Magi Madoka Magica ahead)

💛Yandere! Mami Tomoe Headcannons💛

First things first; how you two met. The request didn't specify whether they wanted the headcannons to be romantic or platonic so I'll try to keep it somewhere in between.

It was just another normal school day and you were walking home on your own; since your friends were all busy today. But then, as you're walking, you suddenly feel dizzy. It's as if everything around you is deforming in some sort of way. Whispers of "Were your friends really busy?" and "Maybe you're too pathetic for them, you would be better off dead" were ringing in your ear. Before you know it you're in a witch labyrinth.

Long story short; a certain blonde magical girl came to your rescue.

After saving you she introduced herself and made you promise to keep it a secret. She insists to walk you home and on your way there she shares with you more about magical girls and her experience as one in general. And then you reach your house and the two of you never speak again. Or so you thought.

The next day something unexpected happen. You find her and talk with her again after school. And the two of you become friends.

🍵 After meeting you Mami feels like she's finally not alone anymore. Maybe you're not a magical girl but you're still someone she can talk to, share her problems with. You're the only one she has at the moment, the only thing she looks forward to besides her magical girl duties. So it's only natural that she's a bit clingy, often texting you multiple times and passing by your class at school (if you're not in the same class or you go to the same school)

🍵 She tries her best to put a brave act in front of you, she wants you to look up to her and feel safe with her. She wants you to see her as someone you can always rely on. She feels comfortable enough to vent to you though. You've seen her cry at least once, you've comforted her multiple times. You understand, you're the only one who understands. In her eyes at least.

🍵 She's definitely the type to be touchy but not full on like giving hugs. Maybe if you guys were official she would but as friends she just does small gestures. Such as putting her hand on your shoulder or holding your hands from time to time; often pulling you closer to her without even realising. It makes her feel safer in a way. It reminds her of how close you are; it reminds her that the most important person in her life is here with her.

🍵 If you ever started spending less time with her, especially because of other people, she'd definitely get emotional. As we've seen in the anime; Mami isn't really emotionally stable. So if something like this were to happen she'd instantly go into panic mode. She wouldn't get jealous, she'd get scared. Scared that you're going to leave her, just like an old "friend" of hers did in the past. So she'd ask you to talk about it. At first she seems calm and has a smile on her face but the more she goes on the more emotional she gets, even starts crying.

🍵 What would happen if you decided to leave her out of your life immediately though? Maybe you start avoiding her on purpose or you outright announce to her. Either way; it ends the same. If you avoid her she'd come up to you, maybe in an alleyway near your house or somewhere you can't back away easily. If you announce it to her what's to come would happen then and there. She's silent for a few seconds. Then she starts sobbing, panicking more than she's ever panicked before. You then attempt to walk away and for the first time in her life as a magical girl she uses her magic out of the battle.

🍵 Most of her magic is based on ribbons, so expect to wake up with a bunch of em' tied around you, keeping you in place. She's a magical girl and you're just...a normal girl/boy/person. There's nothing you can do against magic ribbons. If even Homura couldn't get out of the ribbons then there's no way you would. She'd probably try to act as if those ribbons don't exist though. As if you're just a friend, or even something more, staying over for the night. Although it's going to be a lot longer than just the night.

🍵 Keeping in mind that you're tied with a bunch of magical ribbons that get tighter the more you struggle there aren't really many ways you could misbehave. Yelling at her would be the only thing you'd be capable of doing and she could either ignore it or have a ribbon cover your mouth as well. She's trying to convince herself that what caused her to do this never happened, trying to pretend all this is normal.

🍵 Once you gain her trust she'd let you out of the ribbons. It would be quite easy, to be honest. Her entire mental stability depends on you at this point since you're the only one she has. Good luck with trying to get out of her apartment. Everything is locked and it's too high for you to jump off. If you somehow did manage to go out though... It's you against a veteran unstable teenage girl with the power to summon hundreds of rifles at once. So once again; good luck.

🍵 If you did really learn to love her she'd be so so happy, crying tears of joy even. She'd get a lot more physical as well when you're in her apartment so you'd get a lot of hugs. And free desserts. Unlike some yanderes she'd let you get out of the house; on your own as well. As long as you came back in time. You'd also be able to go to school again, although you'd spend all of your time by her side. She'd even force Kyubey to help you telepathically talk to eachother during class as well.

🍵 If anyone ever made a move on you she'd probably get between the two of you, literally, and threaten them. She'd somehow make herself seem intimidating while still sounding pretty calm and wearing a smile. If someone decided to hurt you though... Well; if they were to insult you they'd get the same treatment as making a move with you. If they actually hurt you physically...oh boy. At first it's just a playful threat. Once you leave that fake smile on her face would be gone though, replaced by a glare instead. She'd threaten the person again, this time sounding more determinated than before. She wouldn't use her magic though, she still has to keep the whole Magical Girl thing a secret after all.

🍵 When and if she learnt the truth about witches... It'd be tough. Learning that she's going to either die fighting or become what she's been fighting all this time messes her up by itself, but realising that she's never going to be with you no matter what makes it one trillion times worse. She would still do the same she did in the series. What if one day she turned into a witch and ended up hurting you? No. She'd rather end it all sooner, it was for the better. If she somehow learnt it without the Sayaka fiasco happening and the circumstances were ideal she'd send you a voicemail before ending it all. Her last goodbye.

🍵 I'd imagine her witch form to be the same but with some changes. For example; her familiars would give the people who entered the labyrinth a missing poster that read "Vidisti amica mea?" before walking them to the tea party. I can even imagine the witch taking people in hopes of finding someone one day. She can't remember anything about who it was exactly but she's just desperate to find them; maybe they'd make the tea party more fun, whoever they were.

Aaand that's everything! I apologize if it wasn't exactly to your liking dear reader, it's my first time writing yandere headcannons.

(Also don't worry about the reader not being a magical girl/boy, I'm saving that for the future 👀)

With all that being said; I hope you liked the headcannons! Or some of them, at least. Requests are still open of course. Have a lovely day/night! 💕

[canary3d-obsessed]

Restless Rewatch: The Untamed Episode 09 first part

(Masterpost) (More Canary Funsies)

Warning: Spoilers for All 50 Episodes!

This episode features so many eternal minutes of zombie shambling that I thought I could fit everything into a single post. HA HA HA HA nope. 

Zombie Temple

The trio do their best to fend off the not-zombies in the temple. Lan Wangji tells Wei Wuxian that he can’t go carving them up because they’re not actually dead, and drops a callback to their very first meeting at the gate of Cloud Recesses, when Wei Wuxian caught his attention with his pillowy lips comment on the not-dead cultivator. 

Lan Wangji: You said it in that golden moment that will be seared into my memory for eternity, where I heard your voice and laid eyes on your angelic face and lost my heart forever, remember? Come on, babe, it was our very first zombie! How baked were you?

Wei Wuxian: I jerk off to the sword-fighting memory, not the zombie memory, you weirdo.

Nie Huaisang’s fear of the definitely not undead has apparently gotten him the rest of the way over his fear of Lan Wangji, because he’s now yelling “Lan-Xiong!” right along with “Wei-Xiong!” as he struggles. Note that although he later mentions that his fan is made of some fancy metal, we don’t see any evidence that he wants to fight with a fan any more than he does with a blade. I don’t hate anyone’s fan-fighting NHS headcanon, but my take is that he just isn’t a physical fighter, and that’s ok. 

This is a good time to remember that our entire experience of the Nie clan so far in this story is 1. Clever but hopelessly combat-unready tiny artiste Nie Huaisang 2. Quietly helpful, absurdly pretty sidekick Meng Yao. 

We don’t know yet that Nie Huasang’s gege and Meng Yao’s sugar daddy is literally the toughest motherfucker in the entire cultivation world. But his friends do! Which makes me love these dynamics even more, because not one of them criticizes Nie Huaisang for being the person he is. 

(more after the cut!)

Never Let Me Go

This scene is where Wei Wuxian gives his tacit consent to being used as the eventual agent of Nie Huaisang’s vengeance....ok not really.

But he does make it clear what Nie Huaisang should do when he’s in a pickle. And NHS doesn’t forget things.

Priorities 

Meanwhile, Lan Wangji isn’t nearly as patient as Wei Wuxian, and he drops a silence spell on Nie Huaisang basically out of annoyance. It’s not like they’re trying to be sneaky. 

Lan Wangji: How about you have an exquisitely crafted ceramic cup of shut the fuck up?

Flute Girl

Wen Qing comes to the rescue by summoning all of the not-zombies, who happen to be her extended family, to come toast some marshmallows. 

She’s another person who unwisely demonstrates, where Wei Wuxian can hear her, the power of flutes over zombies. 

This move doesn’t seem to do anything important but it looks cool. 

Brother Dynamic: Bad. Really Bad. 

Jiang Cheng shows up in the temple and trolls everyone, because this is a great time for childish antics. Wei Wuxian is super happy to see him and runs over to hug him, which earns him a shoulder slam. 

This is a regular part of their body language with each other. Wei Wuxian covers his hurt reaction very, very quickly, with a smile that doesn’t involve very much of his face. 

Ow

Wei Wuxian is so good at pretending his feelings aren’t hurt, he probably convinces himself. 

Then he gives a too-honest answer when Jiang Cheng accuses him of...daring to enjoy himself, basically.

That’s more truth than Jiang Cheng was looking for, and he raises a hand to Wei Wuxian, who hides behind Nie Huaisang. This move is interesting because on one level it’s just clowning; obviously Nie Huaisang can’t protect WWX from anything, and WWX doesn’t need protection from Jiang Cheng. 

WWX can easily beat JC in a fight, as he’s let us know before. On another level, this retreat signals WWX’s harmlessness, his childlike-ness, in a semiotic dance that has been playing out for over a decade between the brothers.  NHS is taking on Jiang Yanli’s role in the choreography, this time.   

All of this troubling hostility doesn’t make Jiang Cheng a bad person. He’s young and he’s still under his parents’ control and subject to their abuse at home. It takes time to develop mindfulness about this stuff and learn to treat people beneath you differently than the way you are treated. 

Jiang Cheng isn’t ready for that yet, any more than he is ready to say out loud that he cares about his brother. 

Leave My Boyfriend Out of It

This interaction is noteworthy for Wei Wuxian defending Lan Wangji to his brother, before Jiang Cheng even has a chance to blame Lan Wangji. 

Wei Wuxian says that following Lan Wangji was his own idea, and then gives LWJ the sweetest, warmest smile.

Lan Wangji also gets a pair of totally unearned, delighted smiles of thanks from his two besties when he lifts the silence spell on Nie Huaisang. 

Being mildly dickish all the time works out fine, I guess, if you only make friends with people whose brothers are legendary grouches.

Grilling Wen Qing

Wei Wuxian finally decides he’s had enough of Wen Qing’s crap, and gets slightly aggressive in questioning her.

He’s not actually roughing her up but he is approaching her as a near-enemy for the first time, rather than as someone who wants to be her friend. Once Wen Qing tells him what’s up and agrees to a sort of temporary alliance, he goes back to being his normal slightly awkward self with her. 

I don’t romance-ship WQ and WWX, except maybe as corpse-mountain era FWB, but I do like their chemistry. And their friendship is really refreshing and interesting, based on sharing goals and working together, not on emotional intimacy. It’s nice to see people with a lot of barriers around their hearts, building a strong, trusting bond without having to actually open up very much.

The idea of perfect sharing between people is a nice one, but it’s pretty alien to many of us who are recovering from trauma, or people who just aren’t wired that way, and it’s good to see other models of friendship and love. 

Wei Wuxian, at Lan Wangji’s direction, parts the Red Sea drops a cage on the other 3 cultivators before going to hunt the dire birdy.  

Jiang Chang is, predictably, pissed off about it, in spite of Wei Wuxian’s “you’re good at this” parting words, and says, according to the subtitles, “you bastard!”

“Bastard” is a pretty specific epithet, in English. In the current century, it’s generally used to mean “asshole,” more or less. But it still does carry the meaning “of illegitimate birth,” and since The Untamed is often concerned with legitimacy it seems pretty strong for JC to use with someone who is rumored to be his own Dad’s by-blow. 

Let’s have a look and see what he really is calling him... 你混蛋 =  Nǐ húndàn = “you bastard” per Google translate. Wow, Jiang Cheng, you really went there, huh. 

Wen Granny

Wen Qing and the others in the golden cage watch as the not-zombies try half-heartedly to get to them. Wen Qing is super sad about it, as opposed to the two guys who are just annoyed (Jiang Cheng) or scared (Nie Huaisang).

The first time I saw this, it was just - oh, Wen Qing sympathizes with this poor random woman, she feels bad about what's happening, this is to show us she has a heart.

Now though --  that's HER granny. Maybe not her bio-grandma but clearly a granny of her clan, who she knows well, who later cares for A-Yuan when he's a child, so may very well have cared for A-Qing and A-Ning when they were small, too. Owie.

Dire Bird Hunting

Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian run off to hunt the smoke bird together. They are quickly trapped in cool-looking fog. Kudos to the Director of Photography.

They spend some time being confused and also being peak Wangxian 1.0 as they help each other out. 

Lost in the fog and unable to summon talismans, Wei Wuxian is mainly about checking on Lan Wangji, making sure he’s ok, making sure he’s near.  He doesn’t spare any worry for himself.

(We get a rare instance of seeing an actually glowing sword here, instead of just having a character say “I saw the beams of swords!” to save money on VFX.)

Lan Wangji, meanwhile, understands the mental attack they are under, explains it to Wei Wuxian with only a little snark about Wei Wuxian’s overly busy mind, and teaches him how to handle it.

Lan Wangji is super disciplined in mind, body, and sword - his fight moves don’t change, really, throughout his life, but he gets better and better at execution. Wei Wuxian isn’t exactly undisciplined, but he’s super creative and busts out a new skill in nearly every encounter. Lan Wangji sees this and is learning to make use of it.

After Lan Wangji helps Wei Wuxian overcome the confusion that is blocking his talisman use, he tells him which talisman to use. 

This isn’t a talisman that LWJ uses himself, it’s just that he’s paying very close attention to WWX’s battle moves, and has a great memory, so he knows which ones will work. In a pretty short timespan he’s moved from thinking like a solo swordsman to thinking as part of a team with a broad range of battle skills. Very soon, he’ll be starting to use Wei Wuxian’s talismans himself. 

WWX takes a hit from the flying death chain, but uses it to his advantage, as in so many encounters. He’s not just self-sacrificing--he is definitely that--but he’s also a chess player, knowing how to use a sacrifice or an injury to his advantage. Cue Lan Wangji being worried for the entire rest of his life.

Part Two is here!

[everythingsinred]

Let's Talk About NatsuMikan: Natsume (pt. 14)

Natsume has been putting himself on the line for his sister. He's currently manipulating his way into the Hana Hime den, completely unaware that he's falling for a trap set for him. At the same time, his manipulations involve spending a lot of time with Mikan, and how his feelings of love for her complicate things.

Chapter Fifty-Six

The boys dutifully dress in girls’ kimonos, even if they are embarrassed. Natsume will do anything for his sister, so dressing in drag is really nothing compared to all the other stuff he has done and will do for her.

Upon arriving at the house for the party, Mikan is very excited, waving her hands (including the one not-actually-stuck to Natsume) and dragging him all over, which he surprisingly allows.

Yeah, yeah, the scans are low-quality, but what matters is LOOK AT THEM. She's so excited and dragging him around and he just lets her! I'm obsessed.

They enter, escorted by Shizune, who leads them past the party on the first floor, which is open to all Middle school girls. They are headed to the more exclusive party on the second floor. Many of the Middle school girls gossip about the group headed up the stairs, but Mikan is happy to notice Misaki and Nobara in the crowd. Nobara is excited to see her, until she sees Natsume there too. Her mood changes from excited to scared, asking why Natsume has come to this place and warning Mikan to get him out because he won’t be safe there.

Nobara is surprised to see him, but also scared for him, which gives off the impression that either she didn't think Natsume would fall for the trap or she wasn't aware that there was a trap at all but knows that the Hana Hime den is a dangerous place for him anyway. With this in mind, we can see that something very dangerous is awaiting Natsume. If he does find his sister, it won't be easy getting her out safely.

Chapter Fifty-Seven

Almost immediately after arriving, Hotaru is able to separate from Ruka and Youichi, which spurs Natsume to finally give up Mikan’s hand as well. The MSP is obviously peeved by the boys’ presence and the role she was forced to play for Persona.

The flower princesses have decided to cheer the MSP up by choosing one of the incoming group to bully. Hotaru is absolutely out of the question, as she is the only one the MSP actually intended to invite. The boys are not chosen either, as Natsume is to be sacrificed to Persona and the princesses find them all cute. That leaves Mikan, who is immediately obnoxious and loud, the perfect target for ridicule.

Mikan is very excited about the traditions and rituals of the flower party, but she is very persistently excluded from each one. Even the boys get flower names (other than Yo-chan), but Mikan is ignored when she asks for one.

She is then excluded from the feast, with all the dishes purposefully taken from her and placed in front of other people. She is then given a “medicine” which only makes her smell bad so the other attendees want to stay away from her. Hotaru seems to be distracted by the special treatment she was so looking forward to, but Natsume is visibly bothered by the strange way in which the flower princesses are treating Mikan.

The games they play either exclude Mikan, mock her, or both.

In no time at all, she is thoroughly lonely, depressed, and hungry, her face painted all over.

They all sit around for another game, and the flower princesses decide that Mikan shouldn’t be invited for this one at all. Though Ruka and Hotaru are put off by this, Natsume has had enough, so he leaves the circle completely. Hotaru's way of defending Mikan is to get back at the girls through a game she invented, but Natsume's technique is a bit more straight-forward.

Natsume doesn't even like these people. Mikan, on the other hand...

Natsume has gone to fetch a dumpling for Mikan, a chestnut kuri kinton shaped like an orange. Perfect for her, he says. He then says he’s unbothered by the smell of her medicine, especially compared to the perfumes sprayed all over the place. Natsume doesn’t care about being polite and courteous to the MSP. He’s here to save Aoi, and standing by while these girls bully the love of his life won’t exactly help him save Aoi, so why should he do it?

So they end up bickering over something stupid again, and Mikan seems all cheered up.

She even seems sad to see him go to the bathroom, telling him to hurry so they can eat and spend more time together.

Pretending is so much harder when he can see that she actually enjoys spending time with him. How is he supposed to be okay with his fate when this is so much more pleasant?

He shuts her down, like it’s no big deal, but it is, of course, like everything else he borrows.

But he can’t have her waiting for him when he knows deep down there’s a chance he might not come back. He’s here for a reason after all, and that reason is sadly not to eat kuri kinton with Mikan. It’s to save his sister, who might be captive in a dungeon somewhere.

The MSP warns him not to explore too much, as she won’t be responsible for anything that happens to him.

He begins by looking for a bathroom, but there are no boys’ bathrooms, so he wanders around. His attention is immediately grabbed by some girls talking about “Yuki Aoi”. This is a trap, of course, just like everything else. He follows the girls downstairs into the basement, trying to look for Aoi, but the girls quickly report to Persona that it’s all going according to plan. It almost seems like too obvious a trap, but Natsume is desperate. He hasn't heard from Aoi in too long. He's so eager to find her that he doesn't see the warning signs, like that all the hints about Aoi are a bit too obvious.

Now is time for the Dangerous Ability Discipline Squad to be deployed.

Chapter Fifty-Eight

Natsume descends into the dungeons, perfectly aware that he could end up staying there forever, and that he’ll be horribly punished for sure. There isn’t a lot of Natsume in this chapter actually, but his friends grow concerned about his long absence from the party, and wonder if Natsume has perhaps been punished as the MSP warned, for wandering where he shouldn’t.

We learn that the MSP has a very strong barrier alice, one that protects the whole school, and that it is very powerful in the dungeons, where Natsume is.

When we do see Natsume again, he has only gone deeper into the basement, when he sees a cell with a girl in it. He quickly rushes to her side, convinced that it’s his sister, but is disappointed to find that it’s actually Nobara with a wig, unconscious.

The problem is, now he’s locked in a cell.

Chapter Fifty-Nine

Nobara, desperate as she was to make sure Natsume was okay, took Tsubasa with her into the dungeons, only to be isolated and put into a trance state. Natsume knows what the trance state means: it’s the only way she can be made to use her alice on missions, as she is usually good-natured.

He knows he’s in danger now, that the DA class has trapped him and that he might have to fight. And just like that, the Discipline Squad is there: Rui, Hayate, and Yakumo, all waiting for him.

Natsume has been acting out of line for quite some time now. He’s been going on missions that go against the agenda of the school, all to help his friends, specifically his "kitten of a different color". He’s been smiling and joking more, happy when he’s supposed to be eternally despairing. The higher ups don’t like that, and this is his punishment.

Rui explains what’s going on, since Natsume goes on missions on the outside and isn’t familiar. The Discipline Squad is a subdivision of the DA class to punish people who aren’t toeing the company line. The Hana Hime den basement is where they usually do their work. Tsubasa was once victim to Rui’s alice specifically as a punishment for his troublemaking, hence the curse mark under his eye. Natsume’s punishment will likely be much more severe.

Persona then appears, holding the unconscious Nobara, informing Natsume that this was the final test: that Natsume should have been obedient and not wandered down into the basement. However, he has failed the test and stepped out of line once again, and this is the last straw.

Ah, how nice to see the Discipline Squad, my beloveds. And Natsume looks so pretty in that kimono.

Natsume is immediately on the offensive, grabbing Persona and demanding to know where Aoi is, but Persona uses his alice on Natsume’s wrists so he pulls away. Persona then instructs one of the Discipline Squad to go and get rid of the four new intruders who have descended into the basement, so now Natsume knows he has an extra responsibility beyond simply rescuing Aoi (not that rescuing Aoi was ever going to be simple).

Despite always putting others first, he never considers that his existence matters to people, and that if he's in danger, his friends will come to protect him.

The squad decides Hayate will go, although he complains because he had apparently been waiting a very long time to be able to beat Natsume up. We can see that Natsume isn’t popular in the DA class either, and perhaps that Yo-chan is the only one who might admire him, even in a class where they’re all in a similar boat.

The silly antics and childish jabs of the Discipline Squad too are very interesting. They act big and tough, and were perhaps given heavy responsibilities, but they’re still children. Every single person in the DA class is a child, someone forced into these actions in some way or other, whether through emotional blackmail, physical coercion, or manipulation. All of these kids are under the illusion that they are more important than they are--simply pawns obediently doing their duty for the school’s benefit.

It’s an effective tactic to pit oppressed or victimized people against each other so they don’t focus on the real enemy, Persona and the ESP. The DA class demonstrates this quite well. Back in the day, Luna was pitted against Yuka. Natsume hates most of his classmates except for Youichi. He can lash out at Nobara, who is loyal to Persona, because he can’t lash out at the man himself. And all the other kids hate each other, get mad at each other, argue amongst each other. Hayate getting angry that Rui is calling the shots even though the real person in charge is Persona (and even further up, the ESP) is a great example of this. They are all so busy being mad at each other that they don’t realize the person pulling the strings is the one they should be angry at.

Anyway, Persona warns Natsume that because four new people have entered the fray, he might want to submit. After all, the dungeon has the highest concentration of the MSP’s alice, and he isn’t accustomed to it, like the Discipline Squad is. But if he refuses to submit, then Persona will give him answers if, and only if, he can defeat all three members of the squad. If he cannot defeat them, well, he’ll be trapped in the dungeon for the rest of his life. Naturally, Natsume has no choice but to agree to the deal. His sister’s safety is at stake, after all, and he would do anything for her, including possibly allowing himself to be locked in a dungeon forever.

Chapter Sixty

Persona leaves Natsume alone with Rui and Yakumo, and Natsume thinks to himself that this is an impossible situation. His upperclassmen are very powerful and their alices suit the name “dangerous ability”. At the same time, he realizes that he has to win, because he wants to save Aoi and avoid being locked up. But Rui decides to take off, sensing Tsubasa in the dungeon, so Natsume is left with only Yakumo, which might make things easier. One on one is easier than two on one, after all.

But Natsume is actually not relieved. If Rui senses someone he’s marked, then there might be another person down with them. In any case, he doesn’t want Rui to meet his friends. Hayate is one thing, but Rui is far more dangerous, and they might be in serious danger if he decides to use his alice. After all, Natsume can hardly use his alice properly, so even if his friends had a chance with their alices, they’ll be at a serious disadvantage in the dungeon.

Yakumo tells him to snap out of it, to stop being distracted, because then Natsume will certainly lose. So Natsume has no choice but to hope for the best for his friends and that the mystery fifth intruder will protect them in his place, and focus on his fight with Yakumo for now.

This translation is a bit unclear, but he's pleading for the mystery intruder (Tsubasa) to protect his friends because he can't.

It’s interesting, from what we see of Yo-chan standing up for the other intruders in the dungeon, that Natsume told him to look out for the others in case something happened. Why did Natsume entrust such a task to a toddler, and not to Ruka or somebody else? Well, for one, Natsume has been entrusted with caring for everyone around him at a young age too. It was his job to be the serious and mature one after his mother died, taking responsibility to be as adult as possible and protect his father and sister, even though that shouldn’t have been on his shoulders at all. He won’t think it’s unfair to ask Yo-chan for this, because he’s been through it too and it’s normal for him.

Another thing is that every kid in the DA class is extremely powerful. To be in the DA class, it’s not enough to have a potentially dangerous alice, or many other kids would be in it. Tsubasa could have been in sooner, or Ruka could have been enlisted. Even Iinchou’s alice could be potentially terrifying if used in the right way. But they’re not DA students, because the alice has to be powerful enough to exploit. Yo-chan isn’t just in possession of a creepy alice; he’s a prodigy as well. He has control of his power and can do terrifying things with it. He’s been put on missions and trained too, even as little as he is, and he can do much more with his alice than the others can. Natsume trusts Yo-chan because he knows how dangerous these situations can be and he’s the most qualified to protect his friends.

Natsume please. He's just a baby.

It’s tragic, but it’s the truth. The DA students are living very different lives from the rest of them, much better acquainted with the school’s darkness than anybody else could comprehend.

And Natsume might be locked inside it forever.

Chapter Sixty-One

We learn that Yakumo has insect pheromones. Natsume is fighting hard, using his alice to protect himself, thinking hard of Aoi to keep himself aware of what he’s fighting so hard for.

There sadly isn’t much Natsume in the chapter. He’s busy at a stand-off with Yakumo and the battle isn’t really going anywhere.

Something of note is Narumi, looking at Ruka’s postcard from his mother, pondering why the children haven’t returned yet. He knows something is up, and has no doubt known the whole time at the very least that there were too many coincidences involved in the banquet to be mere coincidences. At most, he was somewhat aware that Persona was planning on punishing Natsume. With Narumi, it’s hard to tell.

And he was right all along...

Narumi recalls saying that Mikan could be the key to Natsume’s future, because he’d had the hunch that Mikan would become Natsume’s light. Natsume has, after all this time, realized that as well. Nobody wants to be locked up forever, but he especially doesn’t after he’s found something that helped make him happy again. So he will fight hard, because he wants to see Aoi again, and because he wants to see Mikan again too.

Conclusion

Natsume is ready to fight his hardest to find Aoi and keep from being locked away forever. He was aware before that he might not be able to easily make it back out, but it's become harder than he had imagined. Now that he knows Mikan and the others have followed him, he has even more to consider.

It’s a shame that I won’t be talking about Natsume and Ruka’s backstory in this essay. I brought up what I wanted to at the very beginning of this essay, and I won’t say much more than that here. I’ll touch on it in the Mikan POV essay, and I’ll go into every detail I can when I eventually analyze Natsume and Ruka’s relationship, but for now, there’s not much I’ll say.

This may be surprising! No Natsume backstory analysis in a Natsume essay?! But I’d be repeating what I’d said in the beginning. This isn’t just a Natsume essay after all. It’s a ship analysis, and I’ve said what I needed to already. I’m sad to skip it because it’s one of my favorite arcs in the whole story, but I’ll beat it to death in the future, so all is well.

I'm sorry if this was underwhelming. Like I'd said before, this arc is all about discovering Natsume, and Natsume... is Natsume, so he doesn't need to discover anything. I don't want to repeat myself or beat a dead horse just to fill up space. I reckon there will be one more part to this arc! I'm also sorry for posting this kinda late. I got very busy this morning and now everything is off-schedule. I'll try to post at a normal time tomorrow.

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[opbackgrounds]

so I was doing some research after watching movie 6...

...and apparently it was originally written as a comedy

Yeah, I was surprised, too

Baron Omatsuri is not my favorite One Piece movie—Film Z has too many of my favorite tropes to be usurped from that position—but I do think it is the most daring. Of all the supplemental material I’ve seen and read, it feels the least...One Piece-ish. 

Yes, that includes the noodle commercials. 

If you haven’t seen the movie and can stomach a little spookiness, do yourself a favor and give it a watch. Unlike movies like Strong World or Z that have the look and feel of a manga arc, Movie 6 transplants the Straw Hat Pirates into a world that doesn’t feel like a One Piece story, taking risks and exploring themes that would never fit in the manga proper. 

In addition to the obvious changes in art and animation style, there are supernatural elements that don’t make sense within the One Piece world. None of the Straw Hats win a fight—Luffy included, although he is heavily implied to have killed the big bad at the end. The moral of the movie, if it can be said to have a moral, is if you lose the people closest to you, the answer is to forget about them and make new friends. The story ends with many questions left unanswered and the main drama between the crew unresolved.

And, if you allow me to get philosophical for a moment, I wish there were more movies like it. As I wrote in my review of Novel A, I don’t go to supplemental material or side stories looking for a repeat of what’s in the manga. Oda has written 1000 chapters of One Piece—why not spice things up a little and try something different for a change?

I know the answer isn’t that simple, and by their very nature not all risks will pan out. There will be people who don’t like this movie because it’s different, both in look and tone. But there’s something to be said about a creator putting their heart and soul into a work and having it show in the final product. 

Which brings us back to the original premise. How does a movie go from a light-hearted comedy based on a variety show theme to...this

Baron Omatsuri was directed by Mamoru Hosoda and came out in 2005. To put that into perspective, the movie was in production when the Luffy vs Usopp fight was first seen in the manga. Manga!Luffy had not yet faced the challenge of an inter-crew disputes when the story was being written and boarded, nor did the creative team have the events of Sabaody and Marineford to see how Luffy would react to the loss of his loved ones. They were working without a full understanding of Luffy’s character, and to a lessor extent the character of the Straw Hat Pirates, and it seems like Oda was much less involved In production than has been in movies since Strong World and beyond. 

Likewise, Hosoda had just left a tumultuous situation at Studio Ghibli while working on Howl’s Moving Castle, and if this interview is anything to go by (https://instrangeaeonsblog.wordpress.com/2016/04/24/mamoru-hosoda-on-omatsuri-danshaku-animestyle-interview-part-1/) was going through a lot of personal shit when he was brought on as director. The script he was given was originally written like a variety show—something that was carried over into the various trials seen in the final movie—and meant to be a lighthearted affair after the relatively serious Movie 5 (which I have not seen am thus unable to compare tone). 

With that backstory in mind, it’s easy to see how the bickering and backbiting between the Straw Hats early in the movie is a metaphor for Hosoda’s time at Ghibli, which is something he admits to in the interview. Movie 6 feels different than any other One Piece movie because it’s the project of a man who has had to endure the loss of those who he was close with, at least in a professional capacity. 

There are moments in Movie 6 where Luffy doesn’t feel like Luffy. More than once a member of the Straw Hats ask him to intervene during arguments, moments Luffy either ignores or doesn’t notice. It’s a version of Water 7 where instead of fighting Usopp, Luffy ignores the underlying differences within his crew, and as a result loses everybody. 

The structure of the three trials follows a clear path of deterioration within the crew, the initial goldfish scooping game showing the Straw Hats at their best and inciting the jealousy of the Baron, the ring toss sowing discord among the crew even as they snatch a narrow victory, only for them to be utterly crushed in the third and final challenge as they’re unable help one another survive. 

It is somewhat implied that the Breaking of the Fellowship(TM) is magical in nature—that like the One Ring, the Lily Carnation was able to influence the Straw Hat’s thoughts and actions, but this is never stated outright and I prefer the more mundane interpretation: That without strong leadership the Straw Hats fell victim to the manipulative machinations of the Baron, and simply self-destructed as a result.  In the end, it’s up to the interpretation of the viewer. 

And speaking of things up to interpretation, I love how the Lily Carnation isn’t explained in the slightest. The plant that initially absorbs the Straw Hats looks more like the stem of a devil fruit than a flower, it for some reason rings like a gong when hit, and somehow is able to turn pieces of itself into facsimile of the Baron’s old crew who can somehow move around despite being plans. It’s weird, it’s wonderful, and the element of the unknown works so well in the horror-lite setting. 

My personal theory is the island somehow managed to eat a devil fruit which manifests itself as the Lily Carnation (which due to the L/R conflation in Japanese, is pronounced ‘reincarnation’, which I think is a nice touch of foreshadowing that may or may not have been intentional).

(Also, I can’t decide if little chewing animation it makes when it’s eating people or the weird bullseyes it makes when shit gets real are the most terrifying thing in the movie.)

Hmmm, tasty.

Anyway, this is getting long, so here are some final thoughts:

1) This movie has some low key fantastic outfits. The Straw Hats all look very cool without being over designed like a lot of recent movies. Big hat Robin is of course a fave, and makes me really want to see her in a Carmen Sandiego getup.

2) Screenshots do not do the animation of the movie justice. It’s very fluid and has a lot of excellent expressions/poses, although I admit the 3D is jarring at times. Do not let the art put you off if you haven’t seen it 

3) Also, I don’t think there’s any shading? Like at all? The movie does a lot of cool stuff with color instead. For example, the scene where Luffy initially loses to the Baron his skin goes all grey, and I thought it was because he was fighting at night, but it stays grey even in the better lighting of the underground tunnels and stays that way until he finds out the Straw Hats are still alive, where it returns to his normal color

4) There’s an extended Benny Hill-type gag when Luffy first chases after the little mustache pirate that’s perfectly timed to the music, and ends when Luffy just uses his power to grab him. The comedic timing is amazing and it’s probably my favorite funny moment in the movie, of which there are several despite the overall darker tone

5) The extended jungle shot from Nami’s POV? Very cool

6) I love how from the earliest scenes nothing is as it seems. The opening text is Robin reading the map, but the storm that’s seen on screen is the one that sank the Baron’s crew. Likewise the whole fancy city is shown to be fake panels early on, the goldfish catching game is a trap, etc., etc. It does a good job clueing the viewer in early that’s something’s very wrong on the island, even if they don’t realize it at first

7) I don’t think this type of movie would work in modern One Piece without somehow nerfing Luffy. Horror works best when the protagonist is weak and vulnerable, and that fits best with a pre-Gear 2/3 Luffy (same with the rest of the crew, tbh. I was waiting for Nami to use her lightning stick during the games, forgetting it hadn’t been boosted yet). 

8) I like how there are four captains on the island representing different levels of loss—the Baron has lost his crew and wants to destroy all others because of it, mustache pirate lost his crew and is willing to put it behind him to make new friends, Luffy has freshly lost his crew and hasn’t decided what path he will go, and coward dad hasn’t lost his crew yet but is at risk if he doesn’t change his cowardly ways

9) I think the reason why Chopper was the first Straw Hat to disappear is he’s the most likely to play the part of peacemaker. He’s also the only crew member needing rescuing at the end of the goldfish scoop game, when Luffy foolishly puts his life at risk trying to save him from drowning, just like he recklessly charges the Baron at the end of the movie. Except that time there was no Sanji to save him, leaving Luffy to get his ass thoroughly kicked

10) This is a very good Halloween movie, and I’m glad I watched it in October