#and the absolute DROP in animation quality

[gaywatch]

*screams very quietly because it's the middle of the night* MakoHaru 😭😭😭

Listen man, MakoHaru was so fucking pure. Some of the best friends-to-lovers ever created. I should have been losing my mind from RinHaru's impeccable unresolved-exes vibes but MakoHaru ended up drowning all of that out for me. How that anime did all of the gay things without explicitly stating the obvious was some serious witchcraft. Can't believe the series happened in 2013 and I haven't rewatched it since, I'm a criminal.

*I imagine a fully canonical Boys' Love anime in 2013 would not have gotten half the budget or a quarter of the exposure that Free needed to succeed. Truly walked so that Yuri on Ice could run, imo.

[why-animals-do-the-thing]

Folk were really into the post I made about Tandie, the zoo lion with a (then) undergrown mane due a period of time on testosterone blockers. He's having quite the glow up this summer.

But!

Did you know that manes are hormone dependent in both sexes of lion?

Let's talk about maned lionesses!

To recap the previous post quickly: the existence of a mane, and it's color, appear to be pretty heavily androgen-dependent. Neutered males or males put on testosterone blockers, like Tandie was, will drop their manes - but like Tandie, if taken off the meds, it will generally grow it back. Darker manes are indicative of higher testosterone levels, and long/lush manes are generally a good signal of a male's fitness and mate quality. Females seem to show a preference for males with longer, darker manes and other males will preferentially avoid scuffles with them. (Yes, as many comments have pointed out, that means Scar was actually a hunk. Do with that as you will.)

The fascinating thing about androgens being linked to manes in lions is that it goes both ways - females with higher levels will also grow manes!

Mane growth in females lions is most commonly seen with elderly animals who have stopped cycling and are basically in lion menopause. And they have to get pretty old for it to happen - captive lions generally only live into their late teens and early second decade, and most of the maned ladies I know about started growing manes around like, seventeen.

Not all old female lions grow manes, but some of the career cat people I've talked to said it happened to about a quarter of the females they've worked with over the years. Which... is an interesting contrast to the news articles about Zuri, who we'll meet in a bit, that breathlessly reported in 2022 that her mane growth "left scientists baffled."

Old lady lion manes are just... precious. They grow in first at the chest and then around the sides or on the back of the head, but they don’t normally get the length, density, and connectivity seen in the mane of an adult male. It leaves the lionesses manes kind of awkward, in the way I associate with very young males, and they're absolutely adorable. Prepare yourself for the photo spam.

I have to start with Daisy, because she's the only maned lioness I've had the privilege to meet in person.

I don't know exactly when she started growing her mane, but she was over 20 years old when she passed in 2019 with these luscious locks.

Here's another female at the same facility, named Adeena. On the left is a photo of her from 2021, on the right is from this spring (I think she's mid-sneeze in the photo). She turns 20 in October.

If you've heard about maned lionesses before, it’s probably because of Zuri, at Topeka. She’s the most recent one to get media coverage and she went a little viral.

(Just a side note here, but I have some strong feelings about knowledge loss in the exotic animal management world due to political/philosophical schisms. This is one of those topics where it's clear: Topeka told a reporter that the zoo had “never" heard of this happening before, but it's common enough to be well known as a thing in other sectors of the exotic cat world. There's so much expertise and knowledge being lost due to infighting between accrediting groups, and it drives me up a wall).

Anyway. Zuri had one of the best manes I've seen on an elderly lioness. It grew long and lush and she totally could have done shampoo commercials. I mean, look at this.

Zuri lived with her sister, who didn't grow a mane in her old age. Here's the two of them together, Zuri on the left, Asante on the right.

We don't completely know what's going on with these golden girls to cause them to grow manes. It's theorized to be related to the end of estrus and higher levels of androgenic hormones, although it's not clear if that's just due to lower levels of other hormones during "meownopause" or if there's something else also going on.

There was some speculation with Zuri's mane growth that it was caused by the death of the male she lived with, in some biological need to "take over the role." The zoo dismissed that idea pretty quickly, and it makes sense, although there is one other instance where I've heard of that happening before.

The cat people I've talked to say that older lionesses who grow manes don't tend to act differently - they're not taking over new social roles in their prides or anything. Sometimes they can be less active, or be a little more nervous around males, and want to be left alone more, but it was emphasized to me that those behaviors could also just be associated with the fact that manes tends to develop in elderly lionesses.

The mane growth can happen pretty quickly, as we saw in the photos I've posted of Tandie over the last year. Here's Bridget, from the Oklahoma Zoo. The left photo was taken in March of 2017 and the right in November - look how much hair she gained over six months!

The zoo did some research into what might have cause Bridget's mane growth, and found that she had elevated levels of androstenedione, which is a hormone that can be converted by the body into either testosterone or estrogen, depending. In AFAB people, it's known to have a masculinizing effect. The zoo theorized that this was the cause of her mane growth, and that the elevated levels might have been caused by a benign tumor. Fascinatingly, though, blood draws revealed that her testosterone levels were the same as her mane-less sister, Tia.

Tia is on the left in the photo below, Bridget and the beginnings of her mane are on the right. Bridget was 17 when her mane started growing in.

I don't think there's any formal hypothesis that there might be a genetic component to lionesses growing manes in old age, but it's interesting to note that one of Tia's daughters, Zari, also grew a mane. (And she grew it young! It started around age 13, interestingly, also right after their male died). She's on the left in the photo below.

And to circle back around to where we began: Tandie is related to a number of maned ladies! His father, Xerxes, was Bridget's son; Zari was Xerxes' half-sister.

Here's a few more beautiful maned ladies to leave you with. In order, Ngala, Pepper, Skye, and Dandy Lion.

Next up, and last in this lion mane series, is the story of five younger lionesses in Botswana who not only have manes but also express a range of masculine behaviors.

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.

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A huge thanks to all the folk who shared photos of and stories about their golden girls for this post: M. Townsen, S.W. Simpson, E. Day, S. Cook, M. Stinner, M. Paul, K. Vanaman, D. O'Halloran, R. Simpson, D. Souffrant.

[mingtinys]

what dating seventeen feels like

pairing : seventeen x gn!reader

headcanons , fluff , misc

warnings : none

word count : 1.1 k

requested ? no

a/n: just a small collection of the things i love in life that i associate with seventeen

choi seungcheol

falling asleep on the couch and waking up in bed. chocolate-covered strawberries. the kind of love found in romcoms. expensive dinner dates and champagne.

cologne that lingers on your clothes and bed sheets. tight, bone-crushing, hugs. his hand almost always under the hem of your shirt, skin to skin (it grounds him). him letting you win when you play wrestle. cute aggression victim.

having a rock to hold on to amidst a raging current.

yoon jeonghan

diving under a crashing wave to find calm, gentle, water. rollercoasters with big drops. feathers. lavender fields. leaving the theater and realizing night has fallen.

always saying the same thing at the same time (it scares seokmin). naps on the couch. sending each other pictures of weird-looking animals with the caption "you" or "us." partners in crime. braiding his hair.

having not only a boyfriend but a best friend in jeonghan.

joshua hong

warm blankets, fresh from the dryer. pancakes and orange juice in the morning. raw honey. the scent of freshly baked bread. scented candles and wax melts.

lives up to the gentleman title. opens doors, bides by the sidewalk rule, lends you his jacket, etc. acts! of! service!! fighting over who pays the bill (he's actually ambushed your waiter to pay before you can even see the check). domestic, mundane, slice-of-life type of love.

a honeymoon phase that never ends.

wen junhui

walking down empty streets without a care in the world. morning cartoons. clingy cats. ice cream for dinner. frozen pizza with red wine. airport liminal space hours.

taking pictures of sunsets to send to each other. doodling on his hand. staying up until 3am accidentally. back hugs galore. resting his chin atop your head. him getting as close as possible when showing him something on your phone (i'm talking cheek smooshed up against yours). sleepy jun asking for kisses every morning.

living life in the moment because you know the future can wait for you two.

kwon soonyoung

energetic snow days. sledding, snowball fights, building snowmen. energy drinks and all-nighters. watermelon sugar. summer bonfires. the ambiance of muffled music through club bathrooms.

zoo dates. always wins you the biggest prizes at carnivals. his favorite place to nap is your lap. sweaty post-dance practice hugs. he gets pouty if you start a tv show without him. baking brownies at 3am. talks about you non-stop to anyone who will (or won't) listen.

excitement that isn't momentary or overwhelming. excitement that makes life meaningful.

jeon wonwoo

tulips blooming in the spring. waxing gibbous moons. amethyst. resting after a long, busy day. the scent of old, yellowed books. rhythmic clicking of a keyboard. warm, smooth, riverbank stones.

re-adjusting his glasses for him after every kiss. let's you design his character's outfits in video games. tells you about the book he's reading like it's gossip. he's always taking candid photos of you. quiet mornings. elderly couples who see you two are reminded of how they fell in love.

defining love not by how much it's said, but by how it's felt.

lee jihoon

thunderstorms that lull you to sleep. shiny, red guitars coming to life with smooth melodies. the crackle of a fire. rosemary. empty highways at night. lightning that strikes twice.

morning coffee dates at home. napping on his studio sofa while he works. quality! time! absolutely spoils you every chance he gets. pretends to act all cool when you catch him staring. writing songs for you. his hand routinely finds your knee when he's anxious. he prefers intimate and private acts of affection to the alternative.

cherishing all the little things that make your relationship important.

lee seokmin

wishing on dandelions. blue skies. morning dew on grass. golden hour. that burning sensation you get in your lungs when laughing too hard. iced lattes.

always asking permission to kiss you. so, so attentive. falling asleep on facetime. pillow forts. lots, and lots, and lots of nose kisses. him never wanting to leave you in the morning. "five more minutes" type of guy. his favorite feeling in the world is making you laugh.

finally knowing what it means to love someone so much you'd give the world for them.

kim mingyu

sleeping by a window with the sun warming your skin. hearing your favorite song on the radio. silky white sheets. first date jitters. first love. receiving a bouquet of roses.

admires you so, so, much. talks about you 24/7, much to his members' annoyance. (jk, they love you, they just like to tease him about it). literally a sponge the way he starts picking up your habits and slang. he's physically incapable of rejecting your puppy-dog eyes. likes to lay sprawled out on top of you. he'll often seek you out if he needs a little extra support.

the feeling that comes with knowing you've found "the one."

xu minghao

the autumn leaves changing. winter constellations. a solar eclipse. the quiet of a house before everyone wakes. those cozy granny-square blankets. white wine. laughing at scary movies.

wine and painting nights. him always making two cups of tea. art museum dates. swaying together to music in the kitchen. him secretly being a sucker for your doting. has your mannerisms memorized and prides himself on it. somehow always knows what to say when you're feeling down.

growing, learning, and experiencing life alongside each other.

boo seungkwan

warm, summer air. mystery flavored lollipops that somehow taste like every flavor all at once. rosy red cheeks.

teasing each other and inside jokes. nicknames like loser, stupid-head, idiot etc. (affectionate). hours long gossip sessions. kisses that taste of coffee and tangerine chapstick. stars in his eyes whenever you're doing literally anything. having his undivided attention.

resident happy pill and mood-maker seungkwan knowing he can let his mask fall around you without judgement.

hansol vernon chwe

watching city lights blur past in the passenger seat of a car at night. cereal at 1am. falling asleep while watching tv. poorly handmade, yet meaningful gifts. assorted candies. buying road trip snacks.

communicating with a single look. ice cream dates in the middle of winter. speaking purely in movie and tiktok references. late-night conversations that take a weird turn. (you've once debated if aliens would like pineapple on pizza). pretending not to notice how shy he gets when initiating physical affection.

loving the strange, bad, and hidden parts of each other as much as the good.

lee chan

the comforting buzz and motion of a subway at night. toothy smiles. watching reruns of your favorite childhood show. surprise parties. the first snow of the new year. concert lights.

driving at 2am, singing at the top of your lungs. random dance parties in the living room. getting noise complaints and giggling about it. pillow fights and board games, competitive, yet both trying to let the other win cause it'll make them happy. asking him to open jars. him getting exceptionally giddy to open said jars. (you're completely capable, but know he likes to feel needed).

making each other's inner child feel safe.

[punkitt-is-here]

Read These Frequently Asked Questions Before You Send An Ask!

Patreon | Ko-Fi | Youtube

Heyo! I get a TON of asks each day, so I'm making this post so that folks know what's already been asked so my followers don't have to see the same stuff over and over, haha.

Hi! I'm Punkitt! I'm a game developer, artist, editor, director, and a bunch of other stuff! I'm working on an RPG called Astral Guard, a platformer called Susan Taxpayer, and I have a couple more fun projects in my pocket like Happup and Super Mario Death Row.

Did you know you look like weird al?

YES jesus fucking christ i get told this every day. if u send me a message in my inbox saying i look like weird al im killing you with like wizard spells and shit.

Why do you have so many hats? Do you know you have that many hats?

ye i like hats. :) free tumblr badges for one pea i like one piece and took as many as i could. free.

Where can I find your art/game development/horsecomix?

Great question! Everything I make that's my own and not a reblog is under "my posts", every bit of art I do is under "my art", any game development I do is under "gamedev", you can find all my MLP art under "mlp, my art" or "horsecomix" for the best stuff. I also have an "animations" tag and a "shitposts" tab. I also properly tag all my asks to be asks and write out the asker's name, so if you don't wanna see those just mute the ask tag.

Do you have a Patreon or a Ko-Fi?

I do have a ko-fi here! I also JUST launched a Patreon, which you can find here :)

What do you use for your art?

I use FireAlpaca and Paint.net for misc. effects!

What are you using to make your games?

I use FireAlpaca do make my assets! Astral Guard, Happup, and any other top-down RPG games I make are all made in RPGMaker 2003. Susan Taxpayer is made in SMBX2 Beta 4, a Mario fangame engine with lua support!

Why are you using a 2-decade-plus engine to make games?

It's fun!

Do you have a sideblog or something for your art?

Not right now! What you see is what you get. I do have a sideblog for Astral Guard though, if you want to follow that game specifically! @astral-guard

Can I make an OC based on your work? ABSOLUTELY!!!!!!! THATS THE COOLEST THING EVER!!!! LET ME KNOW IF YOU DO!!!! I WANNA SEE!!!!

Can I do dubs/redraws of your comics? As long as you credit me! I get a ton of notifs each day, so if you wanna show me (and PLEASE i so do wanna see fun dubs and redraws!!!) tag me or DM me!

Can I use your art as a PFP? Sure! Just credit me somewhere. :D

Are you the one who trapped her coworkers in a room and made them listen to TF2 lore?

Yep! Everyone had a blast actually. :]

Did you make that comic where Fluttershy eats the weed brownie/Rainbow Dash has a male living space/someone has a cutie mark that says they'll kill Ronald Reagan?

Yep! That's me.

Where are you in MLP right now?

Currently just finished Season 7! Haven't watched the movie yet.

Have you watched Equestria Girls?

Yep! Thought it was super cute. I watched up to Rainbow Rocks and plan on watching more.

What's your opinion on MLP so far?

I love it! I think it's cute. I really don't agree that there was some sort of huge quality drop after season 2 or whatever.

What do you think of G5?

Not my style! I don't really like either animation types and it just seems like I'm not in the audience anymore. That's totally chill, but it just doesn't grab me!

Have you watched any other MLP stuff from previous generations?

Nope! But I did see a compilation called Minty Being Autistic for Six Minutes Straight that I loved. she's perfect.

Favorite pony?

Don't got one, I love all the Mane Six a LOT, but I'm particularly fond of Fluttershy, Applejack, and Rarity!

Favorite episode/season?

I'm so bad at picking favorites! But any season past Season 1 I have a blast with because I feel like it's just more my style. I don't have a favorite episode, but the most recent one I can remember LOVING is the one where Starlight bottles up her emotions because it was REALLY funny.

Do you like Pony.mov?

Nope! And stop saying my stuff reminds you of it, it's a lil annoying!

Have you watched the Mentally Advanced Series/Friendship is Witchcraft/Other fandom vids?

Probably not! My interaction with the MLP fandom prior to last year was pretty minimal, so I'm making my way through the show first!

What do you think of Fallout: Equestria?

I think it's super weird but really fun because of that. I've never properly read any of it but it's very fascinating to me.

Are you transgender?

Yep! I go by she/her, I'm a trans woman. Have been for many years, but I only recently came out online!

Are you a lesbian?

Nah, I'm bisexual!

Can I commission you?

Yeah! I only have my commissions available on my Ko-Fi at certain times though, so keep an eye out! I usually announce slots being open at least 12 hours beforehand. Slots are usually first come first serve, but we'll see.

Can I use your art as a Discord emote?

Yeah man i'm not scouring every discord on the planet to find stickers of my work. i think it owns if people take my stuff and make it stupid injoke emotes between friends that makes me very happy.

Can I send you an ask inquiring about gender dysphoria?

I feel like this is beyond my capabilities of advice! I'm actually very comfortable with my body and I have been for many years, so I don't know if I can give any good or helpful advice on that front. Apologies, but there are many resources out there where you can ask about those things if you look for them, like Discord channels!

Favorite Color?

I'm a sucker for blue!

Favorite coffee?

Can't drink coffee, my stomach is cringe.

Favorite tea?

I'm lame and can't drink most tea but I love this one orange-flavored tea a lot. I also LOVE ice tea.

Can I say you're horsegender/punkittgender/a little gender goblin void thing?

Well, I can't stop you, but I'm kind of beyond that phase now! I really am a boring ol' plain she/her girl, and I like it that way. It's not much, but it's honest gender.

What's your favorite game series?

Mother, Kingdom Hearts, Mario, and I USED to say Fallout, but I found out I'm really only a big Fallout New Vegas fan.

Favorite game from those?

Mother 3 is one of my fave games of all time! I love KHII, and I'm tied for SMB3 and SMW. Also Fallout New Vegas fucks hard.

Any other favs?

Bug Fables, SLARPG, and TF2!

Favorite Movie?

Everything Everywhere All At Once, no question.

Oh, are you going to college?

Yep! I'm a film/theater major.

Do you have a YouTube channel?

Yeah! Click right here for it, I stream there and upload footage of my games/animations/my film projects + other stuff.

What is that little orange creature I see?

That's bweenop, my little persona that I use when I'm feeling a little scrunkly.

Do you have a ponysona?

Yep! Her name is Star Magnolia, you can search her on the blog to see art of her.

When will Susan Taxpayer/Astral Guard/etc. be out?

No clue! I take things slow, that's just how I am.

How do you work on so many things at once?

I make small, satisfying amounts of progress! I never try to complete one giant thing all at once, I just like doing small bursts of fun stuff. I got ADHD, so I learn to work with it.

Did you know you look like Weird Al?

Im going to run you over with a clown car watch out

WHY do you work on so many things at once?

Fun! I like learning, I like making cool stuff, and I like showing it to people :)

Do you need any help with your projects?

Potentially! I'll probably put out a post asking for help if I need it.

If you could be a horse, would you?

You kidding me? Several ton beasts with the frailty of a sickly Victorian boy; my clumsy ass would never survive.

Are you some sort of...furry?

yeag

Why do you reblog so much?

Brother I LOVE posting. that's just how it is.

Fav music artists?

It changes literally ALL the time but I will recommend ANYTHING by Vylet Pony, its music is incredible and probably the reason I'm a weird niche microcelebrity now.

Why are you like this?

theater kid + having a lot of fun on the internet makes you a bit silly hehe hoo

SUSAN TAXPAYER QUESTIONS

Is it out? Not yet! But hopefully sometime in the next year. I dunno! I take things at my own pace and keep stuff fun. :)

What are you using to make it? SMBX2! It's a free fangame engine for Mario episodes, but it's incredibly versatile and has a wonderful community, so I decided to make Susan Taxpayer in it.

Is there a demo? You betcha! You can find it right here. I'll also probably put it up on my itch.io.

How do I install it? I made a post here about how to run the SAGE '23 demo!

[slutt4ellie]

Summer Blossom

masterslist

PART 2 //

Falling in love is hard. Worse when you know it can’t happen.

Summary -> It’s the summer of ‘73, the absolute last thing you wanted to do is spend summer with your dad all the way in his farm house, which just so happened to be located in the country, far from all your friends. That was until you met her..

Warnings -> Homophobia / Reader denies feelings / Tiny bits of angst (for now) / Avoidant / Reader is 18, Ellie is 19 / Guy hits on reader / Slight bits Jealous!Ellie / Blood! / Description of injuries / Getting outed / (Eventual smut!)

WC: 6.9k

(Not proofread!)

Summer in your dad's farmhouse.

That was easily the last place you wanted to be. 

It’s the summer of ‘73, and your mom had the bright idea of getting some quality time in with your dad.

The reason why is because soon enough you’ll be packing up far away from your hometown and going to collage.

Your parents split up young, 10 to be exact, there were no hard feelings that came along with it, it just happened.

Almost naturally, they simply just grew apart, as some people do. 

You decided to stay with your mom, with all your friends being in that area. Another split you weren’t really willing to lose.

Your dad was always close, 30-45 minutes out to the straight country. 

Nothing but grass and farmland, meaning you didn’t visit a lot. 

On special times like your birthday and holidays, your dad or mom would travel to see each other. 

They named it important to you, but you’ve always convinced yourself it didn’t bother you.

So when your mom suggested you should go up to your dad's for the summer (and wasn’t taking a no) you ended up here.

You didn’t like it to say the least.

It was hot, none of your friends were here, and the last time you’ll ever be freshly graduated at 18 years old you were spending it alone. 

It didn’t help you were also an only child. 

You had no one but your dad. 

So now your in your current predicament. 

You were lying down on your bed. 

Knees pointed up towards the ceiling as you’re slowly drowning in the heat. Which feels like it’s covering each square inch of your room. 

You were reading a book yet weren’t paying attention, the creeks of the floorboards and the birds chirping outside your window had your focus dwell in many different ways. 

A shitty thing that was always on your mind was the fact that you didn’t know if there were people your age, your dad only has one car and it’s strictly named for business purposes. 

It wasn’t until the floorboard creeks were slowly coming up the stairs and the sound of a car pulling in which finally made you drop the book putting it closely beside you. 

There were a few short knocks and your dad's voice came through. 

“Hey, kid?” Your dad mumbles outside your bedroom. 

It was always awkward with him. 

Not because he was a shit dad or anything. On the contrary, he was nice, he always tried his best and was there for you. You guys just didn’t relate much.

He liked hands-on activities, like working on cars, taking care of the many farm animals, and stuff that involved getting dirty.

You enjoyed, staying inside, not getting dirty, sitting in an area with air conditioning, which is the main thing your dad's place fucking lacked.

“Yup?” You sit up rubbing your hand across your sweaty forehead. “Come in” You awkwardly continue. 

Your door opens and your met with your dad. The first thing he says is “You okay?” He asks noticing your tired expression and sweaty face. 

“Yeah.” You sigh slightly exasperated. “Just..” You pause. “Hot.” 

You’re almost confident you’ve never been in a more awkward situation and the fact he’s your own blood, your father for crying out loud? It made it worse. 

He follows by just nodding mumbling a quick agreement. 

He doesn’t talk for what feels like forever. But once his mouth finally opens you know he’ll continue. 

“My buddy is comin’ over?-“ He paused then smiled “He’s here actually!” The smile continues, he’s just hoping you’ll finally get out of your bedroom, at least for a little.

He hated seeing you bored by his mere presence. 

“Daughter around your age is downstairs.” He perks. 

It caught your attention too. Because maybe having someone who might relate to you will ease the straight boredom which is being caused from this house. 

“Oh yeah?” You ask slowly, swinging your legs over your bed before standing up.

“Yup!” He smiles and continues. 

“Been tellin’ them about how you’re coming down for the summer- she seems to be bored out of her mind too.” He chuckles. 

You then sigh, because you kinda feel bad for making it so obvious you were bored. Made you feel like a mean daughter. 

You know not being able to deal with the simple presence of him.

“Dad-“ You try, obviously trying to apologize.

He waved his hand dismissively. “No-! Trust me I get bored round these parts too.” He smiles not trying to cause you guilt. “So hot movin’ around seems like a liability.” He dryly chuckles.

You chuckle too. “You’re telling me..!” 

Once you finish your sentence it’s ended with a nod.

He tilts his head in the bedroom’s door direction suggesting through mannerisms you two should go downstairs.

To which you follow. 

You hear talking. The girl downstairs seems to be hesitant, you can’t really hear what she’s saying, having reminiscences of a mumble. Even so, sounds like a short “I really don’t have to meet her-“. 

But she was quickly cut off when she saw you.

You guys both lock eyes as you're walking down the stairs. 

Just another awkward moment you didn’t need! 

She has green eyes, they seem vibrant while contrasted with the sun that gleams through the window.

Her hair represents a faded red falling more along the lines of brunette, it’s in a shaggy mullet, a bold choice compared to what other people have.

Something you instantly noticed.

Despite the blazing hot sun, which is creating what feels like deathly temperatures, she’s accompanied by a skinny pair of jeans and a t-shirt. 

And in this moment you’ve came to the realization you’ve probably never seen a girl dressed like that before.

It looks like an outfit a male would wear, which throws you for a loop. 

Even though she was mumbling about how she “really didn’t need to meet you” her posture turns straight and a smile presents. 

The man who you can only assume is her father talks. 

“Your old man tells me a lot about you- shame we haven’t properly met yet.” He smiles holding out his hand to shake. 

You awkwardly smile stepping forward to hold out your hand to simply shake back. “I’m Joel- this is my daughter, Ellie.”

His grip peels from yours and he grabs Ellie’s shoulder lightly, making her take a step forward in front of him, she’s now facing directly towards you. 

He feels like it’s to give her a light push to properly introduce herself. Knowing that Ellie wouldn’t take that step on her own.

“Nice to meet you.” Ellie smiles nodding her head awkwardly. 

“Yeah, you too.” You smile back at her. 

It’s awkward, everyone in that room senses it. 

So Joel speaks. 

“Ellie’s got a truck!” Joel perks up, an almost suggestive tone leaking. 

“Was thinkin’ the two of you could head down to town...Your dad was talking about a barbecue” He smiles the last sentence directed towards you.

Ellie’s head turns and she shoots him literal death glares.

Because why in his right mind would he suggest the two of you should go into town. A 10-minute drive after not even knowing each other for 5 minutes. 

What would you even talk about?!

Your dad instantly hops on the idea. Thinking it’s about time for you to step out and find a friend down here.

“Great idea!” He smiles. 

You and Ellie both look at each other, neither of you trying to hide the tired sighs which leaked through your lips..

You both don’t want to really go. 

“Okay..” Ellie nods before turning to the front door. 

“We’ll be back in like 30?” Ellie says.

All you do is follow behind her, she opens the door for you first, before you both are hit with the sun. 

Ellie unlocks her truck hoping in the driver's seat. 

She stretches over the centre console opening the door before you reach it.

All you feel like you can do is mumble a quick thank you. 

And that was the start of the painful car ride. 

It took 4 minutes at least of straight silence for one of you to talk. 

Even though Ellie didn’t want to. She spoke first. 

“So- you like it here so far.” She asks clearing her throat.

“None of my friends are here- so like it’s a bit..boring…” Once you finish your sentence, it’s followed by Ellie nodding to show understanding. 

“Yeah- it’s not bad though. Like once you get used to it.” Ellie smiles tilting her head towards you before turning back.

“You live here?” You ask. You’re somewhat interested..hardly... 

“Yeah- my dad always wanted land..! When I was like 2 we moved, I really don’t remember much before this.” Ellie says looking at the road. 

You just slowly nod. 

“What do you do…? Like all the time.” You ask. 

Ellie’s face does form into a frown. Ellie’s not popular, she’s never been popular. There was a point where she had a good amount of friends.

And that came down in a big crash.

Yet still never popular, not through middle school nor high school, nothing. 

Even though she knows why, she doesn’t plan on telling you. 

“Friends are a big thing!” She lies with a chuckle, hoping it comes across as sounding truthful. 

You buy it, you didn’t even assume it was lying. And plus, say you knew she was lying, you didn’t really care. 

You simply didn’t know Ellie. 

“We close?” You ask Ellie, your tone is dry, and she can easily read you don’t care about what she has to say. 

Ellie nods “Few minutes.” 

And that went in a blur because it wasn’t long till you and Ellie were walking into the grocery store. She leads you to the section that displays all the items you could possibly need for a barbecue. 

Ellie crouches down about to speak before a voice draws both of your attention. 

“Oh, Williams! Didn’t realize you were here?”

Ellie recognizes it immediately. And her face was already red out of pure embarrassment. 

It was ironic, the same guy who made her life shit throughout high school was still sulking in the same area she was. 

Ellie often saw him as the prime example of peaking in high school.

He was horrible to her, constantly. 

Jack McNeill. 

He was a “perfect jock”. 

He caught every girl’s attention, with his blonde hair and blue eyes. Something that drew everyone’s physical attraction. 

She remembers it firsthand when her best friend fell for him. A story she doesn’t feel like even thinking of right now. 

And in all fairness, he needed the looks, his personality was shit, and she knew that more than anyone. 

But still, everyone who knew him loved him, unless you were one of the ‘lucky’ ones who gained his unwanted attention. The one where he’d practically torment you.

“Who’s this?” He smiles with a cocky expression, it’s directed towards you.

Ellie frowns and looks at you.

You guys lock eyes, Ellie’s eyes are silently expressing that she’s sorry. But you can’t tell why.

Nothing that’s been said needed any sort of apology.

“Or…is she for you?” He chuckles. Just by his tone you know it’s lurking with an accusatory tone. Having slight reminiscence of disgust.

You didn’t get what he meant by that comment “Is she for you?”.

It felt like you were being bided on. 

And it hardly made sense! Why would he direct that comment to Ellie, someone who you hardly knew?? 

And who’s a fucking girl? 

“She’s my dad's like- it’s his friend's daughter..” Ellie quickly stands up trying to get out of this conversation as fast as she can, even though it’s hardly working. 

Ellie knows she doesn’t owe Jack an explanation, but he doesn’t ever stop pushing once he starts, something you’d expect from a toddler, not someone who turns 20 in a month.

“Ahh…What’s your name?” He smiles at you, it physically makes you cringe at how his tongue pokes out of his mouth out of pure concentration. 

You look at Ellie and then back at him. 

You know 100% this look and this sentence worked on other people, you see how confident he looks, it’s almost gross.

“We’re in a grocery store?” You chuckle tilting your head.

“Mhm?” He questions. 

Ellie’s looking back and forth between the both of you. Starting to think the charm that Jack seems to have on every fucking girl on the planet will end up working on you.

So she can’t even help but roll her eyes. 

“Thank you, but no thank you.” You nod politely. 

“Wanna go?” You question turning to Ellie. Now realizing she has everything that she actually needs in hand. 

Ellie just nods looking at you then back at Jack, she has a smirk plastered all over her face. She didn’t care if you and Jack went out or something, it just helped to see his face drop.

It’s like it’s the first time he’s ever faced rejection.

Granted it probably is.

It only took till you guys got outside for you to talk. 

“That guy is a dick?” You smile looking at Ellie.

Ellie also smiles, nods lightly, and talks. “Little bit huh?” 

And even though that moment seemed so insignificant from any other viewpoint, it genuinely felt like that’s what sprouted yours and Ellie’s friendship.

And at this point picturing a summer day without her seemed simply impossible.

Because after spending almost a month together, being apart seemed odd.

It had you basically dreading on the fact that summer will eventually end, and you’ll be far from not only your family or friends.

But you’ll be far from Ellie.

She easily fit in the category of a friend. Just you felt like you’ve never connected to someone so fast, meaning calling her one, was something you’ve never fully thought about.

Because Ellie didn’t seem like just a friend?

She seemed different.

Either way it didn’t matter. You always tried to shrug off any thoughts before they could even form.

All she realistically is, is a friend.

Strictly.

I guess you just hated finding yourself constantly overthinking when it comes to Ellie.

The lines of friendship were blurring, and you didn’t like that...

Like when you guys wouldn’t act like just friends, situations where you would share the same bed during sleepover, when you and her would lay on your wood floor (since it was cooler than the air) and her head would be on your shoulder peeking over at the book you were reading.

It was the little things.

You’ve come to the consensus forgetting about it would somehow ease the awkward and unwanted feelings.

I guess it also didn’t help Ellie and Joel practically come over everyday. Which allowed your friendship to grow all that more.

Even though you guys were different, extremely fucking different you felt like you got each other in the more important ways.

Because you told Ellie certain things, and she told you some back.

She was a secretive person, it didn’t bother you much, because you’ve always labeled her as shy, since your first interaction that is.

Even though she was already socially awkward her being shy really just seemed like an add on.

She’s never would expand on how high school was for her, if she had friends, a boyfriend even. She never fucking talked about it.

You’ve never met one of Ellie’s friends, you’ve asked, but she comes up with the same reason. Or in Ellie’s mind an easy excuse to stop the questions from coming any further.

“There out for the summer.” Ellie mumbles following you up the stairs to your bedroom.

Ellie and Joel arrived around 5pm, your dad quickly suggested the idea to have dinner with them.

Of course that went with a shit ton of talking, with a hint of alcohol. Your dad always got chatty when liquor was involved.

Joel also got a few drinks cracked in him, nothing heavy but enough to tell Ellie that they should just crash at your dads place for the night.

In order for them to do some “manly bonding.” Or whatever the fuck they called it?

it ended up making it easier for Ellie, because now that the both of them were staying the night, Ellie didn’t have to carry a stumbling Joel back into their place.

So here you are.

Walking up the stairs with Ellie going on about how you really wanted to meet her friends you read the clock.

It’s only 8pm. The sun is still out due to the earth's tilt..

Which worked in your favour.

Because you had an idea.

After Ellie grumbled her little “There out for the summer.”

All you can reply with is a short sigh.

“Okay what about parties?” You ask looking at her.

“Parties?” Ellie laughs thinking you’re joking.

Both of your legs moving into your bedroom.

“What?” You question turning around to get a good look at her.

Awkwardly it created a close environment for the both of you, practically nose to nose to be exact. To which you backed up as Ellie stayed frozen. Cheeks tinted pink.

You stepped back probably as soon as it happened. You didn’t talk, just looked at her.

Ellie then snaps out of it, trying to forgot that fact she definitely felt your breath on her lips. Ellie was starting to hate herself for even thinking about it.

She knows the both of your are friends. And more importantly you don’t even know about it.

Ellie clears her throat watching as you backed up, quick reminder you definitely didn’t see Ellie like that. Not that it mattered.

“Okay since when do you party?” She ask tilting her head, a quick smile painting right on.

“Whatever?? Tonight- let’s go!” You smile looking at her.

Ellie shakes her head and laughs. “No?? Your dad would kill me? It’s going to get late and- what fucking party.”

“My dad and Joel wouldn’t even notice El? Their drunk. And plus It’s summer! There’s 100% a party happening.”

Ellie sighs.

“Actually?” Ellie questions, she’s praying you’re joking. Because again, she’s not the most popular person around town.

You tilt your head and smile. “Please..!” You sigh out.

“I don’t know..?” She shrugs, and looks at you before continuing. “I just- like what if it’s not fun?” Ellie’s trying to think of any lie that’s realistic. You know other than ‘I don’t feel good’

You look at her shining one last smile hoping it will work.

“Okay- okay fine.” Ellie sighs dramatically, you quickly hug her and pull back.

“Okay let’s get ready!” You suggested.

“No?” Ellie laughs.

“What do you mean ‘no’!” You chuckle grabbing her hand to make her sit down on your bed.

“What if there’s a cute guy you see?” You say suggestively which gets Ellie to cringe back and shake her head. That wasn’t happening..

“I doubt it?” She chuckles looking at you.

A frown is now present on your face. Ellie was so avoidant when it came to the subject of boyfriends. She seemed physically repulsed by them, almost men in general.

And it was getting hard to ignore it now.

You’ve figure she might of had a secret boyfriend, but that was shut down real quick after Ellie denied for a solid 10 minutes after you asked her.

You just didn’t get why she was acting like this.

“No?” You question.

“‘No.” Ellie confirms looking at you. “Trust me I won’t see any guy there that I actually, you know, like.” She shrugs.

“Why?” You ask.

Ellie quickly stands up. Putting on a fake smile. “Let’s go!”

It almost gave you whiplash, I mean it wasn’t new. There’s been countless moments where Ellie just disregarded whatever you said. The first time it happened it ended with you laughing, thinking it was a simple joke.

But she does it a lot. If she doesn’t want to answer, she try’s to act like you didn’t even say it.

Now creating an endless cycle you were genuinely getting tired of.

“Okay.” You follow after Ellie.

You were driving with Ellie. She knew a party nearby. Not that she was invited, she just heard around.

Ellie and you haven’t really spoken since the moment in your room. It’s not like your mad at her, just the secretive act has been getting..annoying.

You told Ellie a lot about you- and it’s like she’s scared to give you anything fucking personal information.

“What..?” Ellie sighs turning over to you before her eyes gaze back on the road ahead.

One hand is on the steering wheel while the others on the centre console.

“I didn’t say anything..?” You shrug looking at Ellie.

Ellie nods awkwardly with a twinge of nervousness. She knows herself she’s being avoidant, and she doesn’t want to lose you because of that.

After Ellie finishes her little nod she talked.

“Are you mad at me?” Ellie ask looking back to you, your gaze is glued to the window purposefully avoiding her.

Ellie hated that.

“No” You just sigh and finally lock with Ellie’s side profile. “You just don’t tell me shit.” You tilt your head.

“I tell you shit.?” Ellie shrugs and smiles trying to ease the tension in the car.

She’s eyeing you once again.

“Get your eyes back on the road.” You groan rolling your eyes, Ellie’s mannerisms were hard not to fold over, which is annoying..

Ellie shifts her eyes to the road.

“What do you wanna know?” She now ask, her teeth are slotted in the bottom of her lip out of nervousness.

Yet her poker face is good enough for you not to get the memo.

“I don’t know- about you?” You say shrugging.

“There’s not much to tell?” Ellie says with a chuckle.

The car stops and she gets out first before opening the door for you. “You’re such a fucking liar?” You chuckle hopping out.

“Im-“ Ellie try’s to defend it, but you shake your head.

“No i’m getting your drunk and i’m hearing all about your little secrets” You joke with a smile.

Yet Ellie definitely wasn’t the one who got drunk.

Because just an hour later you were a slurring, stumbling over your feet trailing back to no other then the kitchen.

There sat the blonde hair blue eyed guy who you turned down a little over 2 weeks ago.

His poster straightens up when he sees you.

“Hey..” He smiles and grabs a red solo cup before handing it to you.

“Hi!” You say excitedly.

He tilts his head and looks around, looking for the other girl who can realistically turn down what’s happening. “Where’s Ellie?”

“Sheees..” You slur looking around, you don’t notice her figure. Which is strange because she definitely stands out.

You quickly turn your attention back to him. “Not sure!” You chuckle.

So does he.

With that he steps forward.

“You’re Jack, yeah?” You ask remembering how Ellie told you on the way back to your dad's place. Leaving the grocery store you two were previously in.

“Mhm?” He smiles moving his hand to your shoulder.

“Do you know my name?” You ask, you notice the way his eyes light up, clearing thinking of something, your eyes on the other hand are glossy from the liquor coursing through your veins..

You’re definitely not thinking straight.

“Why don’t you tell me upstairs?” He suggest. The cocky tone from the grocery store coming right back.

You’re not a hook up type person, you’ve genuinely never been. You can tell by Jacks suggestive tone he’s doesn’t just want to ‘learn your name’. Fuck you’re not stupid.

But..there’s thoughts in your mind about Ellie. Shit you don’t like, stuff you’d never admit. Not even if you were in a life or death situation.

When you’re talking to Jack. They start to falter, go quiet no longer disrupting you.

So you nod. Hesitantly, while a flash of Ellie’s face becomes apparent.

When his uncomfortably big hands loop to your wrist, it’s more forceful than you’d like, yet you agree. You guys are both walking to the stairs, you’re almost falling over due to still being drunk.

“What the fuck?” He groans feeling a sudden grip on his shoulder. His eyes are turning around as yours are too. Once you see green eyes you just sigh. Those previous thoughts coming back.

“What do you want Williams?” He smiles looping his arm around your waist. It ended up closing the little distance you too just previously had.

Ellie doesn’t answer her eyes just go to his arm, the one that is looped around your waist to be exact.

“We're going back.” Ellie says sternly looking back at the two of you.

“Jealous?” He taunts stepping forward.

“Oh fuck off.” Ellie says trying to step closer towards you, something you wouldn’t mind right now. It’s awkward watching this whole interaction on the sidelines. It feels like you’re just spectating.

He steps forward again his arms pushing Ellie back from her chest forcefully?

“Your little friend knows then?” He questions turning back to you. Just by the way he’s speaking down to Ellie. You know it’s not good.

“What?” You say looking back at Ellie. Her face is pale mixed with a bit of red. It’s out of embarrassment, yet you can also tell she’s scared of what he might say.

Jacks laugh fully echos in the house, it’s  obnoxious and loud.

Currently being the only thing you can hear right now.

He then shrugs looking at Ellie.

“Wanna tell her, or should I Williams?” Jack questions licking his lips, it’s taunting.

Ellie doesn’t answer, she can’t answer. Her whole body went numb, because she really can’t experience this feeling once again.

From the silence Jack then shrugs mumbling a “So be it?”

“You know, the fact she’s a little dyk-“

It went in a flash. That whole moment.

The last thing you saw was Ellie’s fist flying straight at Jacks face, Ellie got a good hit in. But his arm was swinging back, quicker and way harder.

And soon enough, despite being the drunk one. You had Ellie’s arm slinging around you while you both walked out.

There was other party attendees rushing out of the door. Some laughing, some even yelling at Ellie. Calling her shit you wouldn’t ever repeat.

Then there was Jack, fuck was he the worst of it. Sure people were saying horrible things to Ellie as she walked out.

But each one of his words made you wince.

You ran an unlocked Ellie’s car before opening the back seat so she has a place to sit down comfortably..

Her nose had to be broken. It was practically spraying with blood and you didn’t know what to do.

Ellie’s hands were shaking and her eyes had a few tears leaving it. Which she attempted to hide from you.

Didn’t work though.

You lightly rub her cheek with your hand trying to wipe them just as fast as they come out.

Soon pulling back wondering if it’s to weird.

“You have something I can stop the bleeding with??” You asked probably just as panicked as her. All she could respond with is a quick nod of her head and a few words.

“T-trunk” Ellie says.

You run to the back of the trunk and look. She has a spare white tank top.

Once you run back you apply light pressure to her nose.

Ellie holds your wrist trying to calm her nerves the fuck down.

“Breath El..” You say trying to get her to calm down.

Ellie’s chest rose slowly and you felt her breath come through the balled up tank top.

Your other hand went to her jaw then neck.

“What was that Ellie?” You say looking at her.

You heard the stuff they were calling her, it would be a ironic and nearly impossible for everyone in that party to randomly come up with the same insult.

Not to mention the shit Jack was saying.

Some talk of an ex best friend was mentioned..You heard all of it..

Ellie fucking knew that too. So all she can reply with is a simple shake of her head.

And this time you understood why she was being so fucking secretive.

Because say you were like her, and in that position. You’d probably avoid it too.

So you’re finally accepting that fact she doesn’t want to talk about it..

Ellie stands up abruptly causing you to flinch back.

She seems colder now. Like she’s masking clear embarrassment with the face of no feelings.

“We can go.” It’s a statement not a question. Ellies whole personality shifted. You watch as she trails back to the trunk throwing the bloody shirt somewhere.

Ellie clears her throat and gets in the car she’s facing only forward, she physically can’t look at you.

What if you knew now.

The one thing she’s been trying her absolute hardest to hide.

And why?

Because Ellie’s a coward.

Probably the biggest fucking one, she can’t go through the feeling of losing another friend simply because she’s..

————

“You’re lesbian..?” Emma says. It sounds like she scared to ask. Worrying about any confirmation that Ellie might ensue.

Emma and Ellie have been friends for longer then both of them could even remember. There was a point where they weren’t friends though. About 4 months. That was until Ellie was born.

So they’ve been together in the little moments like preschool, and middle, finally reaching where they are now, high school. They’ve always been together.

They met through each others parents. Ellie’s dad Joel, and Emma’s father Adam were practically the same men. They liked outdoors, fishing, shit like that.

Ellie swears if she hadn’t known better you could even call them twins.

There was only one difference.

Emma’s family was an extreme stereotypical “Perfect family”.

They had a nice house, christian, perfect looking animals and kids, plus Ellie’s almost confident she hasn’t even heard Emma’s mom swear. Not once.

Yet she just sorta assumed it never passed to Emma?

Ellie’s whole face is red. All she can reply with is a nod. She’s embarrassed, yet not scared.

Because fuck. Emma’s her best friend.

She’s never once considered the fact maybe Emma wouldn’t accept her? Because she simply could not see why.

It’s still Ellie. It just felt like a tiny part of her was hidden.

“D-do you like me?” Emma stands off her bed. Now concerned with the fact Ellie’s in love with her or something. Which just wasn’t true.

Ellie loved Emma, of course. But fucking platonically. She wasn’t alluded with her or something, it almost felt like Emma was joking.

Either way Ellie’s face dropped, because out of all the possibilities she wasn’t fucking excepting this one. A one where maybe Emma didn’t accept her.

“Wh-what n-no!” Ellie’s a stuttering mess now standing up off Emma’s bed. She feels all her nerves turn to jelly. What does she say?

“The fuck Ellie- we’ve- we’ve slept in the same bed before.“ Emma’s tone is loud. It’s like she’s yelling at Ellie now. Like she’s mad.

And Ellie’s never been able to read a face more clear then Emma’s that day.

Pure disgust.

“E-Em?” Ellie try’s stepping forward trying to reach her hand over.

Emma shakes her head and backs up again, she’s acting like Ellie’s infected. Ellie’s searching for any signs of hope. Like it’s some sick joke. Her eyes are just trailing up and down..

“You know I like Jack?” Emma says.

“I kn-“ Ellie starts again, quickly stopped by brown eyed girl.

“Ellie get the fuck out!” Emma yells..

The sound made her wince. Emma never yelled like that, none the less directed towards Ellie.

That night Ellie stumbled out of Emma’s house tears streaming down her face, because she didn’t really have anyone after that. Sure she had some other friends, Joel would be there for her. But fuck..it was Emma.

Someone she simply couldn’t replace, not if she wanted to.

The next day was probably worse.

Ellie woke up to Joel sitting pulled into their kitchen table a little mug rested in the middle of his hands, which was of course full of coffee.

Joel’s never up early, so she already knew she was fucked.

It started off with a short.

“Kid you know I love you. No matter what.” He sighs out.

“Adam called me. He was tellin’ me about some crush on Emma?” He shrugs standing up.

“Is that true?” He questions.

Ellie’s eyes are already glossy, she really didn’t need to be immediately reminded about the disaster which was last night..

“N-no I-I don’t like her?” Ellie puts her head in her hands wiping the tears just as fast as they come.

Joel stands up wrapping her in a bear hug.

“I’m not being buddies with someone who will talk badly about my family.” Joel crouches down reassuring Ellie.

So yes Joel did end up taking it well. Ellie explained everything. What Emma said. Everything.

She just wasn’t prepared for the shit show at school.

Because apparently Emma called Jack McNeill whining about some shitty betrayal. Like she was the one who was hurt.

So not only did Ellie lose Emma, she lost all her remaining friends, her whole school would talk about her like she’s not there, the girls locker rooms would be cleared if she were to ever step foot in them, and she was sorta just alone.

Ellie made a decision right then, she’s not telling people anymore.

————

“El?” You question looking at her. Repeating yourself for the second time.

It looks like she just glitched in real life.

She doesn’t respond but by the fact her eyes didn’t seem so deep in thought you decided to assume she heard you.

“Are we going to talk about it?” You ask once more, silently begging for a response.

The car stops abruptly.

Your eyes are met with the quiet home which belongs to your father.

The lights are off so you know Joel and your dad are sure to be sleeping.

“I’ll see you later.” Ellie says coldly, she’s only looking forward, purposefully avoiding how your eyes won’t peel away from her side profile.

You were scared of how you felt for Ellie, but you were drunk. And right now she seems like she’s going to cry once again. So you pushed that down and talked.

“Ellie it’s late.” You sigh.

She doesn’t respond, she just clears her throat..

Once you shut the passenger door she assumes you’re leaving. But nope..

Ellie watched as you walked over to the driver seat opening the door.

“Come on” You hold out your hand.

Ellie looks at your hand and sighs. “No-“

“Come on…” You pause for a few seconds. “Please.”

Ellie steps out of her truck ignoring how your hand laid open for hers. Ellie decides to stuff both of hers inside her pockets. Creating an easy way of ignoring it.

“You’re the one who punched him Ellie. Don’t know why you’re being bitchy with me.” You say sheepishly.

Because frankly you’re annoyed, she’s acting like it’s your fault.

“Wouldn’t have to..you’re the one decide to practically stumble with him upstairs.” Ellie says harshly. She didn’t mean for it to come out that way. It just..did?

And for that reason you frowned.

You only opened the door for her.

“Go to the washroom.” You say looking at the body which trailed beside you.

“What?” Ellie questions face turning red.

“Your shirt” You confirm. “It’s covered in blood.” You say dryly. You’re clearly mad at her.

Ellie just nods, she’s embarrassed at her own actions, her choice of words also weren’t the brightest..?

Once she gets into your bathroom which is right beside your bedroom she just sits on the sink for a few seconds.

It doesn’t take long before she heard your light knock. A signal you’re outside waiting.

“Yeah come in.” Ellie sighs. Rubbing one hand down her face avoiding the throbbing nose.

You hand her a t-shirt and a pair of pyjama shorts.

Ellie looks down at them then back at you. “I’m sorry..” She says shortly continuing. “For the fight- ignoring you. Then what I said after.” She says.

“Thank you.” You say awkwardly.

It hasn’t been this awkward since the day the both of you first met each other.

This is because Ellie knows a certain questions on your mind.

You know it too. It’s looming. And even though you wanna ask it, you don’t.

Your voice comes out quiet. “I’ll wait in my bedroom.” You clear your throat. “For you” You nod.

Ellie nods too and smiles. “Okay” She mumbles out.

You laid flat on your bed until you heard the door opening. Ellie walked in your bedroom, throwing her previous clothes somewhere on the floor.

She didn’t say much. She just got beside you in bed, something which was overall normal when she’d stay the night.

Just this time it was quiet and cold, despite the hot weather.

You guys both tumbled during that night, you still felt tipsy, and your head felt like it was spinning. Something which wasn’t going away.

The fact Ellie was moving around meant she was definitely fading between consciousness and a deep sleep.

So since you both were in that tired state, it hardly registered when she turned sideways having her arm draped over you, falling right on your waist.

And that was the first issue.

Because did you pull back.

Nope!..

You fucking pushed yourself back into Ellie, finally feeling her lips shadow your neck.

Her breath was warm, extremely steady and she was fading into that deep sleep she lacked a few minutes ago.

Because now once she was holding onto you, it felt like she was on cloud nine.

And for her it didn’t even feel like it went to her brain, if you told Ellie that moment was all a dream she 100% would have believed it.

You moved your body around now so your faces where positioned in front of each other. You looped one arm around her waist and the other behind her neck, head positioned right on her chest.

Your lips hit her collar bone, and it wasn’t like you kissed that area or anything.

You just let them sit there.

“You okay..?” Ellie sleepily mumbles.

“Mhm..” You say.

Waking up in the country was odd.

Because it wasn’t peaceful, nope. There was a rooster which worked as a free alarm clock. Always starting around 8am, so really extremely bright and early.

You woke up with the feeling of a hand on your back, and your head is sat on another body. The hand on you was poking between the sliver of skin between your shirt and shorts.

There was a thumb dragging back and forth and your hips.

Yet you soon realized that hand that belonged to Ellie.

Your whole face turned red.

And you’re now in auto pilot, because you’re jumping out of your bed like there was a million ants that laid there.

But no, only Ellie..

Her eyes opened slowly, the pain in her nose now becoming more prominent then ever..

But she didn’t care, not right now at least.

Because last night wasn’t a dream? Nope.

You guys slept in the same bed. Hugged, cuddled, and at one point your lips were on her skin..

And both of you are now dealing with the consequences the next morning.

Ellies eyes can’t scan your face, she doesn’t know what the fuck you’re trying to relay but it’s not processing for her. And maybe because you yourself don’t even know what to feel.

You were in a moment of shock. Not knowing what to say. Or even what to fucking do.

So you do the only think you can think of.

“Ellie you should leave!” You spit out. It was a panicked statement. Yet it just came out harsh and rude. Now leaving Ellie to feel like the idiot.

“What..?” Ellie questions, she’s fucking shell shocked herself.

She didn’t know what to except, just wasn’t this.

“You need to leave!” You spit again. “Now!”

Ellie stands up collecting her clothes off the floor. Even though the scene which is playing out almost seems like a hookup. It was so fucking far from that.

Because instead of it being a hookup you’re going insane over one stupid night, which on the contrary could mean absolutely nothing.

But you know that you felt something, that makes everything worse.

Ellie’s puts on her shoes before looking at you.

“You’re ridiculous you know?” She says looking straight at you before turning to leave your room.

You only follow her out though, convincing yourself it’s only because you need to make sure she’s really leaving. Which doesn’t make a whole lot of sense.

“What.?” You say following her down the stairs.

“Don’t fucking act all innocent.” She says looking at you.

“I asked you last night- I asked if you we’re okay!” She yells, she sorta wants it to come out as harsh. Yet it just comes out tired, weak like.

“I was drunk?! For fuck sake Ellie!” You yell back at her. It was a pity accuse for sure. It was just easier that way. You wanted to make her feel stupid.

Yet you felt stupid, because you we’re currently denying what you felt for Ellie, and you were doing that by hurting her.

“The people at the party were right. Jack- all of them.” You couldn’t even process what you were saying, it just came out. In another moment of panic? So your face frowns, really fucking fast.

You immediately remember thinking last night how you would ‘never repeat the shit they said to her.’

And you didn’t, but you almost said worse.

Causing you to switch up fast shaking your head.

You start fast. “Ellie I didn’t mea-“

Ellie shakes her head opening the front door. “Fuck you.”

You knew you fucked up.

Joel’s still here and you’d have to think of some lie as to why Ellie went home early.

And to be fair that’s the last thing you cared about, because you single handily said the worst possible thing in that moment.

And because of it.

You’ve lost Ellie.

A/N -> new series 😋😋

I’m switching up my style a bit and going back to the past, I wasn’t fucking born in the 70s so don’t come for me if something is not historically accurate?

I genuinely remember searching up “skinny jeans 70s” tryna see if it was accurate, and spoiler alert (mfs where not wearing that! 🗣️) Like they sorta were but not rlly.

But idc!

As i’m writing this I haven’t even started fated hearts start with fire soo yeah! But maybe if ur lucky it’ll be posted by the time this comes out.

That’s all, hope you enjoyed reading and lmk if you wanna be on the taglist!

(Likes and reblogs are always appreciated)

[willtheweaver]

Ways to add horror and suspense

• Restrict what the narrator can see! First or third person limited is best. (Let the imaginations of the narrator suggest the worst)

[Character] could barely see a thing in the gloom. All in front were shadows hidden in the mist. They were going into this totally blind. For all they knew, the ground could be littered with sinkholes and pits that were not seen until it was too late.

• Short sentences create a sense of urgency. Keep paragraphs short and add exclamation points.

I ran. Faster than I ran before.

Feet hammered. Heart pounded.

Behind the door shuttered.

Crash!

It was blown clean off its hinges.

• If there is a monster, don’t over describe. Less is more. Drop information in gradually.

In the shadows were two eyes. Blood red, they glowed like a furnace. Barely visible, the outline was humanoid with long, spidery limbs.

…

The beast halted and sniffed the air. Every now and then it would turn its jagged, vulture-like head in an attempt to regain the scent.

• Atmosphere, atmosphere, atmosphere

The wind had a mournful quality about it, and every so often, the crash of the waves against the sea caves embedded in the cliffs sent off sounds that went from low moans, to cries of anguish, to eerily human mutterings.

• The uncanny valley is a great way to make characters uncomfortable!

The entity was… I wouldn’t call it human. There was a waxy quality about it. All the features were smooth and looked painted on. Their eyes were doll’s eyes; glassy and lifeless.

• Places can be uncanny too.

From the first moment he opened the door, [character] knew something was off. This place was absolutely lifeless. No evidence of ever being occupied. No dust, no abandoned furniture, no game trails or other signs of animals. The walls were smooth and seamless. No sign of degradation. It was like a computer rendition of a building interior.

• Anything can be scary. Maybe the narrator had a rare phobia.

The square always made my heart pound and sweat pour down my brows. All those people in one place. A writhing, crushing mass of humanity. A rolling tide ready to sweep away those who let their guard down for even a millisecond.

• Put character(s) in a situation where they are powerless, and the monster is in control.

Whumpee was thrown across the room. They hit the wall with a loud thud before slumping to the ground. Whatever the torturer was…it was a total monster. It had a complete mastery over the facility, and could appear when and where it pleased. There was no escape. The only way one would know the torturer was near was when it clamped down with vice-like strength, and a speed faster than any runner.

[mikeysagereblog]

⊗ superhero cartoons to watch when little!!! (or big, they're that good imo!!) ⊗

✧.* i've been wanting to make this list for a while now, mainly because i wanna talk about my fav cartoons/open up opportunities for other littles to find something awesome to watch!!! there's gonna be a lot of ranges in age ratings to add some variety for older/younger littles :)

✧.* also, i'd like to put a disclaimer here and say that a lot of these are on streaming services that i own, but other littles may not. i would also like to say that there are ways to get around a paywall if you can't afford certain streaming services!!! you can find full episodes on youtube/other sites for free!!! (just use an adblocker if you're on a site other than youtube if u can!!)

✧.* another disclaimer: any regressor of any age can watch any of these shows!! i just wanted to put the age ratings for those who want to stick to media that's more in their age range!! so, don't feel like you have to limit yourself from watching certain shows just because of how old you regress to!!

✧.* spectacular spider-man (2008-2009, 2 seasons): suitable for 7-8+, but i'd say it'd be okay for littles who regress younger to watch, too!! honestly, my all-time favorite spider-man cartoon!!! not only is it fun to watch while little, you can truly appreciate the show when you're big, too!!! josh keaton's voicework as spider-man is just- ahhhh it's so amazing imo!! the story is really good, the animation/style is just so iconic, and the colors are very easy on the eyes!!! (especially if you're sensitive to bright colors when little/in general) absolute banger of a theme song, too!!!

✧.* x-men: the animated series (1992-1997, 5 seasons): rated for around 7-8+, but i do admit that there can be some scary scenes for especially younger/more sensitive littles. honestly, this show is great!!! i loved all the different story arcs, how colorful the show is, the characters themselves- a lot of cool stuff about this show!!! be warned, there's a sudden drop in quality during season 5... i think they switched animation studios/va's or something because season 5 is NOT the best season of the show, i'll tell you that... 0_0

✧.* x-men '97 (2024-present, 1 season so far): rated for 14+, so this show is more suitable for teen regressors. it's a continuation of x-men:tas, and oh man... this is it. my favorite cartoon of all time!!! the animation is just oh so beautiful!!! the fight scenes are awesome!!! the soundtrack- oh golly the soundtrack!!! the remastered x-men:tas opening is just- wow!!! but, there's definitely reasons why it's rated 14+... not gonna spoil anything, but there's a lot of scenes in the show that can be upsetting for younger littles. trust me, watching some scenes when you're little is just- too much sometimes... (speaking from experience) it's an amazing show, but watch at ur own risk if you're a younger regressor!!!

✧.* batman: the animated series (1992-1995, 4 seasons): i'd say it's for around ages 9-10+, since it can be fairly dark at times. (same goes for a lot of batman related media!!) honestly, this show's pretty good!!! the style of the show is very dark visually, so it's easy on the eyes for those with bright color sensitivities!!! the artstyle itself is also very nice to look at!!! the voicework is amazing as well, especially kevin conroy's (rip) performance as batman himself!!! from what i can remember, the plotpoints were also pretty on-par!! i remember liking the show a lot when i was a kid!! :)

✧.* hulk vs. wolverine (not a show but an animated movie, 2009): this one's rated pg-13, since there's depictions of violence. but, i gotta say- this movie had me hyped up when i watched it as a kid!!! this was part of a straight to video two-movie collection, (the other being "hulk vs. thor") and i gotta say... this movie was awesome!!! the fight scenes were rad as heck, the animation was amazing, even deadpool was in the movie!!! (which, fun fact, was his first appearance in animation!!! other than the 2 second cameo in x-men:tas) very fun movie!!!

✧.* these are just some recommendations!!! i really liked these when i was a kid, and i hope you'll like them too, if you decide to watch them!!!

✧.* (also yay!! finally have a new banner!!! + i updated my blog's theme because nightcrawler is so awesome and he's literally my cg guys!!! he said it himself :3)

[crazylittlejester]

Wars knitting plush toys in his spare time and giving them to his brothers. They all drop them off in their homes when they return (they always end up with several between visits). HOWEVER they all have one they keep on themselves at all times. It does not get dropped at their house, it lives in their packs

What kind of plushie do you think each member of the chain would keep in their pack?

OOOOH

He’d ofc make Legend a bunny (because he’d for sure go up to Sky like “hey what dyou think Legend would like?” and Sky is secretly an evil shit and he’d all innocently say “A pink bunny” and Wars would be so confused why Legend reacted the way he did when he gave it to him, but Twi and Sky were dying laughing so he just brushed it off). I think Legend would just be so touched by the fact that Wars made something for him, that little pink bunny would be so important to him

Sky would get a little loftwing, Wars could use one of Sky’s carvings as a reference!

Wind would get a seagull. And he’d carry it around with him until the day he died.

Twi’s gettin’ a goat. A goat army, actually. Wars has made him several and Twi cries every time because they’re so cute and dorky looking. First one Wars made for him was a little uneven and odd looking and Wars almost didn’t give it to him because he felt bad it wasn’t perfect but Twi literally loved it so much it’s his favorite one

The one that Four keeps ON him is one he actually asked Wars for, and it’s a little stuffed Shape. He needed something he could just squeeze that wouldn’t break, and that he could just kinda mess with that wouldn’t end up hurting him, and a soft little squishy Shape was perfect. Wars gave it a little happy face. He’s made Four other actual ANIMALS, but the Shape is the one Four keeps with him

Wild got a blupee, he showed Warriors a picture of one once and Wars was like “i need to make this.” and Wild got super excited. He absolutely adores it, it’s on the bigger side but he stores it in his slate so he doesn’t have to worry about it taking up too much space. INCREDIBLY fuckin’ huggable and very nice for him to just Hold, especially at night

Hyrule I think would appreciate just any little gift any of the others gave him, but his favorite one Wars gave him that he carries around in his bag with him is a little opossum. It has an incredibly silly little face (this is partly inspired by @hero-of-the-wolf’s headcanon he’d be an opossum if he touched twi’s crystal)

Now Time’s is a very fucked up lookin’ horse meant to be Epona that Wars made intentionally hideous as a gag gift, but it is honestly one of Time’s most treasured possessions now. It genuinely means so much to him, and he treats it very gently. Warriors has since made him things that are actually very high quality but nothing will mean as much to Time as that incredibly fucked up looking little Epona (he definitely sticks it on his bedside table and stares at it every night once the journey is over and they’re all back in their own eras)

[melehound]

141 + König catch you staring! GN READER!

Cw: a little cursing I got a little mess with this one 💀

Kyle “gaz” garrick

He’s so cocky 🙄

He thinks his physique is very impressive and he works out a lot (every time he sees a mirror he stands in front of it flexing and checking himself out for 5 straight minutes 💀) so when he catches you staring he feels validated

The second he catches you staring he can’t help but smile like a dork

After that he starts snapping you those shirtless pics in front of his mirror randomly like “whoops didn’t mean to send those to you my bad lol haha 😛” like mf yes you did 💀

John price

He does it on purpose he’s been doing it since you met him he just looks at you to make SURE your watching and then will start working out (he has a makeshift gym in his cold ass basement)

If your in a relationship with him you always know where to find him if he’s not in the bathroom manscaping he’s in his cold ass basement working his ass off

He likes when you watch him work out it makes him feel great about himself and he’ll say something like “I’ve still got it, yeah?” When he catches you staring

John “soap” mactavish

Turns it into a full flexing contest with himself he turns you into his mirror

He really likes to work out he’s not like a gym bro or anything but he likes it enough to do it outside of work biweekly

Sometimes before you pick him up from work he’ll be all sweaty because he wants to take a shower with you after working out but he’s a big fan of sending you shirtless pics with 0 context or warning

You can be in the middle of cooking dinner and he’ll send you like 5 different pictures of him flexing and posing in the gym mirror for absolutely no reason

Simon “ghost” Riley

Genuinely either didn’t know that you stare or he’s doing all this physical stuff in front of you on purpose it could be a mood thing

Like if you walk in on him lifting he’s not worried about you looking but if you were to be hanging out with him and THEN he’d start working out then that’s a sign he wants to see if you’ll stare but it looks like hes the one staring and he’s still wearing his mask so it’s so obvious when he’s staring 👁👁

He’s scaring you a lil bit it turns into a little bit of a staring contest (he almost drops a weight on his foot because he’s not paying attention)

After that he’d try and do what gaz did but he’s a little worried because his old broken decrepit ass phone has such shitty quality but somehow you can see all the scars on his ribs and torso so when he takes shirtless pictures he looks like a red room victim

König

He also takes so much pride in his body type it makes him feel more confident sometimes he thinks his physique is slipping because of how much he likes to eat

So when he catches you staring he gets a little burst of confidence and maybe he’ll flex at you a little bit MAYBE

But most of his happiness is inward he thinks about it before he goes to sleep that night smiling kicking his feet like a teenage boy and he tried to send you shirtless pics on snap but he was sweating his ass off and his hands were all wet and he chickened out

((✿: “she’s gotta be running out of cute hello kitty stuffed animal headers!” think again mfs))

[itsthestutterforme]

Convince Me Otherwise (Jack Reacher x reader)

Summary: You are the youngest cadet in the Special Investigators. So no one really took you seriously. No one except Reacher and Neagley.

Notes: GIF is not mine, all mistakes as my own, dark themes (mentions of murder, death by suffocation)

Prompt credit @creation tivepromptsforwriting : “I’m not the right person for you.”“You’re doing a great job at convincing me of that.”

Requested by: @screechingdreamercollectorsblog SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG OMG

**

“Wow, you’re really reaching for that promotion, aren’t you, kid?” O’Donnel taunts, purposely closing your laptop so you couldn’t ignore him anymore.

“No, I’m not.” You grumble, attempting to open the laptop but O’Donnel holds it closed.

“You never go out with us. You’re missing out on quality bonding time, you know.” He continues.

“Yeah, you’re missing David getting his ass bear in pool.” Neagley prods, lifting David’s hand from your laptop.

“And get your grubby hands off her laptop. Rude.”

“Here we go. Let the nerds unite.” David starts.

“These nerds can run circles around you, pretty boy.” Neagley taunts, sticking her leg out to trip him when he walked by.

“Awe, you think I’m pretty?”

You and Neagley made eye contact before rolling your eyes.

“That’s enough, O’Donnel. Let her work,” Reacher mediates when he walks into the room.

You smiled when Neagley threw you a wink before walking back to her desk. It was her subtle way of saying ‘awe, he’s defending you’.

She knows about your crush on Reacher for as long as the unit came together. You knew it was never going to happened en because of your age difference.

But there’s nothing wrong with a crush (tat would absolutely lead nowhere).

You had just turned 20 a couple months ago, and this year, you graduated from MIT at the top three in your class.

A part of you was pissed that you just barely missed being nominated as valedictorian for your class.

But that was just your perfectionism getting the best of you. You’re sure that your dad would have been proud that you are doing so well in your studies and graduated a whole year and a half early.

When your dad was enlisted, he would tell you about all the tips he’s made and beautiful sights he’s seen.

And before he died, he didn’t mention anything about the place he was stationed. He didn’t write a single letter talking about the climate, the trees, not even the animals.

Nothing.

And when you asked for pictures, he told you no and to drop it. That in itself peaked your interest but out of respect for him, you didn’t pry anymore.

The following week he was injured in combat and spent the night in the infirmary. You said you were going to see him.

You had the clearance for it anyway, but he begged you not to go. After a few minutes of arguing, he finally told you.

He was sent there to investigate a string of murdered. He found what he was looking for. The culprit.

And he was 99 percent sure that he wouldn’t make it through the night. They were watching him, waiting the catch him alone.

They orchestrated him getting hurt in the field just to get him alone in the infirmary.

You didn’t listen to him; you took the next flight to Iraq and he was gone before you could get to him. They gave you his uniform and folded flag on top of it.

You demanded a copy of his autopsy since they wouldn’t let you see his body. And they refused. You didn’t have any connections there so you had no choice but to accept what they said. For now.

Something wasn’t right with your father’s death. And you were going to figure out what happened. But as much as it hurt, you had to wait a while before you could start investigating.

Chances were you were being watched and you wouldn’t be much help finding your father’s murderer if you were dead.

When Reacher hand picked you to join his team, you told him about it. He was on board with you investigating, under one condition: get out if they ever pay you a visit. He didn’t want to see you dead.

He’s been to enough funerals for several life times. He sat on your desk and you gave him your undivided attention.

“Any luck?” He asks, his hazel green eyes trained on you as he waited for your response. Your cheeks burned under the intensity of his gaze.

“No, sir. I don’t know what I’m doing wrong,” you leaned back in your chair and linked your arms above your head. Just looking at your computer made your eye twitch.

“What have I told you about calling me sir?”

“I’m sorry, it’s out of habit.”

He remains silent for a moment, taking in your facial expression.

“I’m tapping you out for the day,”

“Reacher, no. I got this. Let me-“

“Tomorrow is another day, Y/N.”

You released a long breath when he stands from your desk, but he doesn’t quite leave your area yet.

“If I see you lift a finger to open the computer, I will take it for the night.” He states.

He made it all of one step before turning around and taking your computer into his hands.

“Hey!”

“It’s was too tempting for you not to open it anyway. Go home, Y/N.” He calls over his shoulder and he leaves you alone in the empty room.

Everyone left at least an hour ago, so it was just you. And without your computer, you were practically useless.

You stood from your chair with an emphasized groan and listened to what Reacher told you.

**

Dixon’s chuckles echoes throughout the office as she flirted with Reacher. Your heart clenches in your chest because you knew that Reacher always flirted back.

You and Neagley met eyes over your computer screens and rolled your eyes at the same time. You both had other things to be worrying about. Like our actual jobs and what exactly was Dixon doing?

Playing Regina George with Reacher. That’s what she was doing.

You clicked on the next file in the your folder that Reacher gained access for you. All he had to do was pay the man a visit.

He was giving you a hard time; withholding the files that your father gave him and told him to guard with his life.

Your father had told him to keep it away from seeing daylight ever again, but most importantly, to keep it away from you. He didn’t bank on you having a Jack Reacher as a part of your chain of command.

The file loaded and launched the media player on your computer. It was CCTV for the hallway camera perpendicular to the infirmary.

There was a man dressed in Class D uniform that walked over to your father’s bed rest, taking a pillow from a bed that he passed along the way.

Your eyes widened as you quickly realized that was about to happen.

Your father’s legs were kicking as the man covered his face with the pillow, aggressive suffocating him.

You clicked out of the file and slammed your computer closed, standing from your desk.

Reacher looked away from Dixon to you, much against Dixon’s choice. You walked over to Reacher’s desk and he stood when you approached, immediately noticing the difference in your energy.

“I need to talk to you,”

“He’s a little busy right now,” Dixon starts.

“I’ll come find you, Dixon.” Reacher interrupts, letting you lead the way to the conference room:

“I’m not sure it’s wise to speak freely here,” you said, your voice shook with every word. Hearing you like that made Reacher suddenly feel the impulse to protect you.

“Did someone visit you?” He asked and you shook your head no.

“Did you crack it?”

You hesitated a moment before nodding.

“You want me to take care of them?”

“No, no. I can handle it.” You said desperately, wiping your tears before they could touch your cheek.

Much to both of your surprise, he wiped a stray tear away with the pad of his thumb. An act so simple that told you one thing: I’ll protect you.

“Promise me you’ll be careful,” he pleads.

“I was going to tell you the same thing,” you said, sighing when he held the side of your face.

“This shouldn’t be happening. I’m not the right person for you,” Reacher says, not moving a muscle.

“You’re doing a great job at convincing me of that.”

[elbdot]

I love your Pokemon comics so much! I've reread them a ton of times, EAA has become such a comfort read. I just adore how you make Alola feel so alive, and the characters all feel so much more complex and interesting. Out of curiosity, were there other comics (Pokemon or otherwise) that inspired you? And are there other Pokemon fan comics you like or would recommend?

AWWWW Thank you so much!! 🥹🥰 Actually, I wasn't really inspired by any other Pokemon comics at the time I began making my first short comics. Despite Pokemon having one of THE most MASSIVE fandoms on the internet, it's honestly surprising how little ongoing fancomics there are. I've seen many artists starting Nuzlocke comics but I only know of ONE artist who ever finished drawing one (And I'm ebarrassed to say I didn't fully read it yet and don't know the name of it anymore, it's been so long 😂)

I think if there was any comic inspiration at the time in 2016, it must have been the webcomic Avas Demon. Not in terms of STORY or genre, but in terms of how the story was told in a 16:9 format like a storyboard or color test for an animated movie. I took a lot of inspiration from that in the way I boarded the comic and wanted to make it feel like a movie sequence, making more individual panels with varying expressions. But that ALSO ABSOLUTELY blew my work-load on each comic out of proportion, thus resulting in VERY irregular updates due to how detailed my backgrounds and shading became plus A LOT of additional poses like here for example:

I'm proud of what I created back then, but after the most recent Arc I have decided to step BACK from this approach and have now heavily simplified my shading and am experimenting with reusing backgrounds and using new panel sizes and formats 😂 You'll see what I mean in the upcoming update this week. Surprisingly enough, I don't think the quality of art has dropped because of these changes! Also my love for adding additional expressions between panels has remained, they're just my favorite thing to do to bring life to the comic!

[yinyangofnevermore]

So you’re considering watching RWBY

Or you’re trying to convince someone else to watch it

(I made another similar post about this a while back)

But you/they aren’t sure. Something is holding you/them back. Like:

“But the animation n stuff is SO BAD!” - Sure. In the beginning it’s not great (though many of us now look back on those early volumes with fondness.) But you have to understand, RWBY started as a passion project at a small company with a budget of like $20 (yes I’m exaggerating but STILL.) They simply didn’t have the funds for good animation. But, after volume 3 came out, the show became a literal international hit and so the budget increased. And, subsequently, so did the animation quality. You can see that progression easily enough here. The quality goes from this:

To this:

“It looks stupid and childish!” - Yeah, in the beginning it’s meant to seem silly. And it still has its cartoonishly silly moments later on too. But those silly moments are meant to soften the blow of the PAIN. Because, while RWBY starts off as a silly, “good always triumphs over evil” slice of life magic academy type show it does not STAY that. There is PAIN. LOTS OF IT! If you keep watching, you’ll find out within like 6 hrs worth of watching that it’s not just some silly slice of life show. There is a complete 180 along the way when you find out what RWBY is truly about. The show actually delves into some pretty heavy stuff. PTSD, abuse, neglect, abandonment issues, alcoholism, loss, the inability to move on from loss for some, and more. For more on this, check out this post.

“I saw some stuff on Twitter/Tumblr/Youtube about how bad it is.” - That’s because there are ppl out there who want the show to be something it’s not. Or they got upset when things didn’t happen the way they wanted. Like Blacksun shippers or Adam and Ironwood Stans. Or they just want to shit on something. But EVERY show has its haters. Every piece of media has its haters. And they like to be loud edgelords about it. Sometimes just to be controversial and pick a fight. But that doesn’t mean shit. There are ppl out there who absolutely hate your favorite pieces of media, whether you’re aware of it or not. And that doesn’t stop you from liking it, does it? Don’t let a few haters prevent you from potentially finding your new favorite thing. Because there are a LOT of ppl out there who absolutely LOVE this show.

“I tried watching the first few episodes and I just... Couldn’t.” - Dude, I get it. Trust me. I did the same exact thing when I started watching. I watched the first couple of episodes and literally turned it off. But then I saw a few ppl posting about it here on Tumblr a while later and gave it a second shot on a whim. And BOY did it not disappoint when I got far enough in (and yes, that took a minute.) Mind you, this was back when Volume 3 was originally airing, so the drastic improvements in animation hadn’t happened yet. But I stuck with it anyways. And now look at me. But the show does take a while to really ramp up, so to speak. The beat doesn’t DROP until a bit later on in volume 3.

But, if you enjoy character growth and analysis, then you will most likely enjoy this show. The number of analyses on Tumblr and prolly Twitter as well are MANY. The main 4 characters are badass ladies learning how to fight and deal with life. Every character in the show is based on either a fairy tale, mythology, history, pop culture, etc. (sometimes they have multiple allusions to different degrees) and teasing out those details on top of everything else is quite fun if you enjoy searching for Easter eggs, significant imagery, foreshadowing, parallels, and so on. Interesting villains too. Not just the standard “Evil Witch because she’s evil with henchmen” thing. But fleshed out villains that have their Reasons™️. Like “Cinderella took so much abuse as a kid/teenager that she fucking snapped” type reasons. There is SO MUCH you can delve into with this show if you want to. Details as small as a whale statue in Gepetto’s office, or Belle reading a book with a candelabrum that looks like Lumiere, or characters wearing the colors of the person they love, or characters having eyes the color of their love’s aura (an extension of their soul.) SO MANY PLACES TO FIND THESE DETAILS. Including the lyrics to the music.

Which leads me to the music in this show is freaking AWESOME. And if you can’t appreciate that Casey Lee Williams has been singing in these soundtracks since she was like 13 or 14 (and listening to how she’s grown as a musician throughout it all to the point where she is now one of the music leads for the show) then I don’t know what to tell you. The music is all produced in house. And the lyrics reflect that. Each song is from the perspective of a RWBY character (or like team RWBY in general, depending on the song) and the lyrics give insights either about the characters or about stuff in the show (lore, foreshadowing, etc.) And they’re as fun to analyze as they are to jam out to.

The writing is FANTASTIC. Is it perfect? No. Of course not. They made mistakes along the way. Prolly will make some more. But every piece of media does to some extent. People aren’t perfect and so neither are their creations. But those imperfections don’t outweigh how amazing the story they’ve woven is. The writers of RWBY constantly subvert expectations in a BRILLIANT way. Not in a “wtf?? Where did that come from?” sort of way. But in a “OMG! Now that I go back and watch this again it makes SO MUCH SENSE” sort of way. And things that happen in early volumes actually COME BACK to affect things later. The show doesn’t just MOVE ON. The writers have been playing the long game this whole time. And rewatches will almost always show new details and foreshadowing you might have missed before.

Also, it GAY. And it’s THE major romance of the show. Not just a side story. And the voice actors are the Captains of the Ship! And it’s a beautifully written slow burn romance (amongst other romances also in the show) with yearning and pining for DAYS.  I believe it was Monty who said, “Good romance is earned.” And boy are they earning it!

So, in short, FUCKING WATCH RWBY.

DAMMIT.

If you do decide to watch, Volumes 1-8 are all on RoosterTeeth.com for free or everything is on Crunchyroll. And I definitely suggest starting with the 4 trailers, in order: Red, White, Black, then Yellow.

[why-animals-do-the-thing]

I just wanted to drop a note to thank everyone who has supported the Patreon over the years, or signs up for things like my (free) Substack. It really means a lot.

I update both of those platforms infrequently. I’ve tried to build better habits about that over the years and continually run into the same problem: I don’t want to post anything about what I’m working on unless I’m 110% sure my opinions is informed as possible and I am not sharing anything erroneous. There is so much misinformation out there regarding animals in general and zoos and exotic animal politics especially that I absolutely do not want to add to it.

What that means in practice is that topics often take months to years to research, and big projects need multiple years to end up with something I’m comfortable publishing. (That accreditation reporting writeup was an idea I chewed over for easily two years prior to starting work; then it took spent six months to researching write it up). I have one project in the wings where I can’t even start a major part until Feb 2024, because data collection has to happen after the implementation of a new set of federal regulations. These things are great for creating quality work, but less good for providing people who are supporting your work with something tangible on a reasonably frequent basis.

Also, at this point? Most of my current big projects are so complex - and such novel things to study about the zoo industry - that I’m taking the extra time to really cross every t and dot every i with the research, and then get them peer-reviewed through credible academic journals. I think there’s four or five different projects that will be papers I’m working on simultaneously (and sporadically) right now. And as many of you know, this is a hobby, not a paying profession.

So. Thank you for sticking around through the long silences and the intermittent publications. I have so much I want to talk about, but it has to wait until I can do it right. I have so many cool things planned (like, multiple interactive websites) for once everything is finished and published. Whether or not you’re on the Patreon or just awaiting infrequent Substack updates, I really appreciate all of it.

[boobav]

Rotten Petals

William Afton x Reader

content: afab!reader, angsty smut ;P

word count: 1.5k

ao3 link

It was true that his hands left black marks on your skin, on your soul. Deft, filthy fingers pressed deep into your flesh time and time again, acid-laced words slithering into your mind and silencing the rational part of yourself that said that this was the last time.

You bring a hand to your face.

It'd been a week since you'd last seen him, he was busy, he'd said over the phone, busy dealing with Freddy's and the absolute mess it had devolved into. You'd been to that place once for a family gathering, and never again. You knew what took place there; you could see the screams on the walls, the blood scrubbed by those very hands that you let touch you- and it was sickening. You'd watched as your family laughed and played, completely unaware, and glanced over as he stared you down from across the room with a grin on his face. Those missing posters recently plastered on milk cartons made your insides churn, made your mind run in circles trying to find some justification. Moonlight streamed through the blinds onto your skin; you felt the ghost of his hand around your throat, the ghost of a knife pressed there too- and you sighed.

A knock at the door makes you jump. A rapid, almost violent string of knocks follows, and your stomach drops. 

Every hidden, tucked away piece of rationality lodged into your mind leaps up at once, begging you not to open that door, pleading desperately with you to stay in bed and hold the pillow tighter, cry quieter and pretend that nothing's wrong until that knocking goes away. But these voices are too quiet. In reality, there was only a moment of hesitation, a mere blip with the lifespan of a mayfly before you were on your feet, stumbling over discarded clothes to reach the front door. You fumble with the locks, heart beating with the ferocity of a prey-animal as a mixture of dread, excitement, fear and desire fight for dominance in the pit of your stomach.

And then he's in front of you. 

The light from the corridor lights up one side of him, leaving the other in deep shadow. There are stains on his white button-up, dark and unsettling, but today they appear to be nothing more than motor oil. His sleeves are rolled up to his elbows, you note, as your eyes drag along the vein running up his arm, along the creases in his shirt, and finally reach his own eyes that have a crazed, hardly hidden spark in them. He smiles, a genuine thing that juxtaposes the death and distaste that fit along the lines in his face. His hands find your waist as he steps forward, squeezing, kneading and moving you back into the small apartment he's marked as his property; his beard scratches your neck as he lays unnaturally sweet kisses against your throat- and you want to give in, you need to let your brain turn off, but a shaky excitement is wrapped tight around his figure- and you're terrified of what that means.

"William..." You mumble, barely forming the syllables, but he hushes you immediately, his breath warm against your neck as he consoles you in an almost mocking way. But you take it, you love it, you whimper as he smiles against your skin and laughs at your pathetic response. You're back in your bedroom now, moonlight flittering over the two of you as he slumps into your bed and pulls you into his lap; that look is still in his eye, and you find yourself asking, "What happened?" without actually wanting to know. His hand comes up to loosen his tie, and his words escape with a breathless quality. 

"They moved- they-" He clears his throat, and meets your gaze. "They moved again on their own, but more fluidly. More alive, more..." The horror in your mind is tangible to him, he feels it instantly, and he begins to stroke your hair, to tuck it behind your ear lovingly. "More alive works. They appeared more alive today." 

The only response you can give is a wavering hum, and a momentarily bowed head. And you know he revels in it- revels in the disgust you feel for him and the inability you have to live without him. He laughs lightly, nothing more than an exhale, and lifts your face back to his. 

And then you're kissing him, hard, because you don't want to think about what he's just said- you don't want to think about anything but the way his skin feels against yours and the way his grip crushes you into nothing but rotten petals again, and again. 

Your hands slip off his tie as his cold fingers slide up your shirt- you swallow your gasp and almost laugh at the tease, willfully forgetting that the man you were about to fuck had just reminded you that he was a murderer, a disgusting man that hell had gurgled up one day and spat onto the earth for its own sick amusement; he was dangerous, horribly so, and the thought alone sent a filthy shock through your abdomen. He flips you over, pressing you into the messy covers as your shirt is peeled off without thought. His hands squeeze your neck, your breasts, your waist whilst pressing sweet kisses to your stomach. You stare down at him through a half-lidded gaze, squirming every time his eyes flit up to yours whilst he tugs down your slacks, his breath hot against your thighs, his bites erotically painful. 

You throw your head back with a hitched breath as he licks a strip up your pussy, and you wonder for a hot second why you continue to let this man defile you with his searing touch and horrifying cruelty; he laps you up like water, thumbing your clit all the while, and the heat in your abdomen clashes with the disgust in your chest- and you feel your eyes sting. There was something so undeniably broken inside you, because you liked it, you loved it when he held you, when he choked you and when he fucked you like a man starved. You moan as he pushes a finger inside you, then another, shuffling up just in time to see a tear run along your face- and he hushes you, he consoles you, whispers a gentle, "What's wrong?" and smiles when you tell him it feels too good, too overwhelming. You taste yourself on his tongue as you kiss and arch your back as his fingers undo you with ease, but as your grip on him tightens, as your whimpers and moans heighten, he pulls his hand away. You re-open your eyes, whining, reaching down to touch yourself but he stops you with an iron grip, and tuts. 

His belt clinks as he discards it into the already-impressive pile of clothes that's been on your floor for a week. He palms his already-hard cock, lining it with your entrance in a messy, impatient motion as you throw your head back in desire, in disgust, in relief that he prefers fucking you to killing you. Your hands drift from his shoulders to his hair peppered with various shades of grey, and his first thrusts are slow, thoughtful even- but then his fingers wrap around your throat like a necklace and he starts fucking you like an animal. His shirt is still on, you realise, as he presses his body hard against yours and shoves his face into the crook of your neck, biting, rasping out grunts and dirt-covered words you can barely hear. Your moans and cries hitch as his grip on your throat tightens, loosens, and his other hand pulls at the fat of your hips; the sound of skin-against-skin fills the small room and the knot in your abdomen is tight again already, brutally so, and as he fucks you into the covers you moan brokenly into his ear. An undeniably violent wave of ecstasy washes over your body, over your eyes, over your heart, and you feel wonderfully helpless against his ravaging of your body.

In this tiny, brief moment, you forget all about his misdeeds. Even with his hand wrapped tight around your throat and his hips stuttering against yours, you feel peace for a second, pretending to yourself that William Afton loved you, that he cared for you and he'd done none of the things he'd openly confessed to doing. He was simply your troubled lover, nothing more and nothing less.

His groan is hitched and raw as he cums pressed deep inside of you, breath hot against the side of your face. You stroke his hair for a brief moment as he recovers, chest heaving, but soon he shifts over and lies down beside you, leaning up against the headboard. You can already feel the bruises forming, the bitemarks that he'd left scattered over your flesh. He meets your eyes again, that crazed look temporarily satiated, and asks for a cigarette in a tired voice. He did last time, and the time before that, so now you had a pack on the nightstand waiting for the occasion; you lean up against him, wrapping yourself around him like ivy as the lighter clicks a few times, and then the flame comes to life. It lights up William's face for the few seconds it's on, and then the sharp smell of smoke hits your lungs and poisons them that slight bit more.

[user-without-a-cool-acronym]

New trailer just dropped in french and you know what that means! Time for a new analysis

So we first see the team in cloud kingdom(ignore the notification) and it looks like the mask in the first trailer was indeed Nya, not Jay

Then some clips of Ras, holding a speech to his troops, with Cinder looking devious over there. He seems to be overall much more convinced of Ras plan then Jordana was in previous trailers

Then we have Cinder, powering up what‘s probably shatterspin, already wearing that armorpiece he got in the first trailer and spinning in this gorgeous tornado of red lightning

Afterwards he seems to fly upwards in a cloud of smoke and absolutely punch Wyldfyre into the ground, which is probably where her injury in the other leaks comes from

He then either turns into smoke or leaves a trail of smoke, as he flies down towards her. I feel like we moght be getting into some anime levels of fighting with him and i love it

Wyldfyre hits the ground, which can‘t be good for her health

In a short scene that probably takes place before the battle, on their way to Cloud kingdom, Lloyd says something to Nya (and probably the others off screen)

Glacier shippers are gonna get fed, i can feel it in my bones

Arin and Sora are concerned, while Riyu has officially completed his transformation into a shocked pikachu

And then we finally get a look at the one, the only… PLACE FROM THE BOX OF THE EGALT SET! I‘ve been waiting for so long. We also get a rather blurry look at Egalt himself, landing

Sora and Ryiu are training their balance, which just looks goofy with Ryiu

The others seem to train under Egalt and we finally get a better look at him and OH MY GOSDWFEJHF , this dragon is gorgeous. The beard, the little braids of fur on his neck, THE HAT

Beyblade let it rip! Lloyd, Nya, Kai and Arin seem to be training in some sort of special spinjitzu arena, while Egalt flies overhead

So it looks like Sora isn‘t the only one, who gets one of the new hook pieces. And at least the one Lloyd has, seems to be able to split apart, with a rope made of energy connecting hilt and hook, a lot like the box art on the sets

Rock Cole! Rock Cole! looks like he is fighting in the land of lost things, judging by the background

Another clip of Riyu fighting the wolf warriors in cloud kingdom, the only really interesting thing here is, that the standard wolf warriors seem to use that new dual molded blade piece from the march wave, so that seems to just be a standard weapon

Kai‘s climber mech looks awesome

The shot of the gong being hit in Lloyd‘s vision, which we already got in the first trailer, nothing new here

And lastly an army of wolf warriors in the land of lost things, who can apparently summon their claws out of thin air? That‘s cool i guess

Sp that‘s it for this trailer, really hope some of this stuff is in the trailer reportedly releasing on the 7th and i personally cannot wait for this season

Edit: higher quality clip now available

[ju1cyfru1t]

Yellow!! How are you? Hope you are doing good! Just wanna say your whipped Donnie?? Soft Donnie?? Headcanons?? :((( it was so cute :((( literally I’m like your pfp rn :((( absolutely adorable

Idk if you are accepting requests (if not you can ignore it!!) but could you do a similar one for either Raph or Mikey?? I adore the disaster twins, but Raph and Mikey get so little recognition, Headcanons or scenarios :( if you are not feeling it that’s totally ok!! Hope you have a good day! ♥️🧡💜💙

I’m so glad you liked it!!! Have some soft Raph hcs 🫶🏻❤️ hope this is alright???

Rise! Raphael x reader

fluff :D, gn reader, romantic

soft raph hcs :(

- the first time you told him you loved him he just said “thank you” out of panic but tbh it was the funniest shit ever and his brothers never let him live it down.

- More than happy to help you with anything, he is doing it ALL for you.

- Opening and holding every door for you

- You can’t reach the top shelf? Don’t worry, Raph’s got it.

- You need help carrying your groceries in? You need help changing that lightbulb? You need someone to walk you home? Literally anything at all? He’ll be there in 5.

- You’re tired? Sure, he’ll carry you!

- He would pick up hot coals directly from a fire with his bare hands if you asked him to.

- He loves quality time and the little things! Like watching movies, playing games together, having lunch together, almost anything! All that matters to him is that he’s with you.

- He is so scared that he’ll accidentally hurt you yk cuz he’s big and spikey :( so, so gentle

- Treats you like you’re made of glass sometimes

- you make him very nervous, he’s scared he’ll say or do something wrong

- he lacks confidence sometimes, poor Raphie

- will explain all of the Lou Jitsu and Jupiter Jim lore to you as best he can + would insist that you watch all of the movies together (he just wants to spend time with you but he doesn’t know how to just say that)

- tries really hard to think of gifts that you would like

- protective and always looks out for you, not in a possessive way but in the way that he just wants to keep you safe yk? they got a lot of enemies

- “LEO! I told you not to make a mess!” “It was me, sorry-“ “don’t worry about it, let Raph take care of everything.”

- He wants to take care of you. It’s just how he’s used to showing his love.

- esp from his dumbass brothers (Mostly Leo. Donnie and Mikey USUALLY let you live in peace)

- -> “I thought I told you to leave Y/N alone!” “Whaaat? I was just saying hi!”

- Softens and completely drops his usual intimidating, angry demeanor whenever he sees you and the quick switch is painfully obvious. He just thinks you’re so cute. but don’t worry his brothers won’t forget to point out how obvious he is (LEO)

- idk why but I feel like he would have some kind of stuffed animal that you guys act like it’s your child and you take turns taking care of it 😭 yk what I’m talking abt?

- one time he accidentally called you babe in front of Leo, Mikey, Donnie, and April but denies it ever happened

- -> “Hey Raph! Remember when-“ “NO THAT NEVER HAPPENED IDONTKNOWWHATYOURETALKINGABOUT-“

- would never let anyone say anything bad about you

- really appreciates your private moments when you two are alone, he feels much more comfortable this way

- Hesitant, but he will be vulnerable with you because he knows he can be without judgement.

- Please give Raph any kind of reassurance and he is misty-eyed. Tell him he has nothing to worry about, that he is a great leader and boyfriend and you’re proud of him, too many things to list. TELL HIM HE’S PRETTY.

- He LOVES to hold you to his chest, it makes him feel like he’s keeping you safe that way.

- Stares at you all the time, and is embarrassed if you catch him. “sorry-“

- if he were to call you a pet name, most likely to call you ‘baby’ or ‘babe’, maybe even a ‘babydoll’ if he’s feeling bold

- very very sweet overall :(

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ty for reading <333 rlly appreciate all the notes on everything

still working on + accepting requests !