#and the thing is she’s rich and thinks her 13 year old gay son is the messiah

[livvyofthelake]

your cousin from florida who works in marketing (your dads age. she’s not my age) will come stay the night at your house and it will literally become Bother The Recent College Graduate About Career Prospects Night. i don’t mean to be rude but i am literally going to hide in my room for the rest of the night like peace and love but the next person who asks me what i want to do will be getting strangled

[katakosmos]

mhmm arthurian cycle mhmmm irene mhmmm tell me more. tell me much much more. specifically on lancelot!!!! how do you see him??? is he a remus variant, is he a barty variant…i’ve seen loads of options thrown around, but i love decided to consult the oracle.

after 5 attempts, i've decided this will be a why-lancelot-is-a-sirius-AND-a-barty-variant essay (in a world where arthur is james and guinevere is lily).

lancelot lost his father when he was still an infant, in a war that destroyed his kingdom. his mother, elaine, was desperate, and the two were forced to flee. but, in the general confusion, lancelot was kidnapped by a powerful sorceress: the lady of the lake. she raised him for 15 years on her lush island of eternal spring, avalon, the land of magic. lancelot lived for many years in an idyllic world, growing up with powerful and ancient sorcerers, such as merlin.

yet, when it was time to reclaim his name and origins, he became a knight of the round table. he didn't regain his kingdom, he didn't even marry to live the life of a king. no, he gave up everything to follow a handsome man on his extraordinary adventures. in a world he had never seen and that he didn't know. this sounds like a sirius black behavior to me.

lancelot was arthur's biggest fangirl, he adored him in every way, he was the closest knight to the king. and arthur trusted him completely, with his life and also with his wife's (because lancelot was guinevere's champion). and here we could make another parallel between lancelot, charged with protecting the king and his family, who actually becomes the main cause of arthur's death, in the war caused by his and guinevere's betrayal; and then sirius, who was supposed to protect the life of james and his entire family, but who then backs out, indirectly causing the death of his best friend.

also, lancelot is described as the most handsome man in britain, because he has both feminine and masculine traits. men went crazy for him, and women too (guinevere was obsessed with him; morgana loved him as much as she hated him, and she kidnapped him a couple of times; and elaine, his wife, tricked him just to get pregnant with his son).

speaking of his relationship with women, i would like to introduce the barty variant 😈 because women made lancelot's life pure hell. especially guinevere, lily in an ideal universe, who was married to a rich and powerful man, but still decided to obsess over the strange gay boy with signs of mental instability. and also, i like to think that at first he was forced by guinevere to appear romantically involved with her, because she was the queen and he couldn't say no (like: "i order you to flirt with me", which is totally unrealistic since guinevere and lancelot are both extremely religious — in fact, as soon as they escape from camelot they both retire to a convent — , but let me enjoy a bratty guinevere).

it is true however that guinevere was extremely touchy and jealous towards him, to the point that when she found out about what happened between lancelot and elaine (which was not consensual btw since elaine pretended to be guinevere), she banished him from the kingdom for like 2 to 5 years, and he went crazy in the woods.

in conclusion, i have to admit that for me lancelot is not perfectly represented by any marauders era character (even if i really like him as a sirius variant). so for me he is: tall, with shoulder length black hair and surprisingly gay, not bisexual (because his love for guinevere is nothing but the reflection of his love for arthur. in fact, adding something to the story of the convent, lancelot and guinevere destroy a kingdom with their desire, but when they run away to live together, they look each other in the eyes and decide to become a nun and a monk. this means two things: what guinevere felt for lancelot was only a silly teenager crush, cause when she got married she must have been 13 years old; and lancelot's love for guinevere was closely linked to arthur: when he lost arthur, he also lost his love for guinevere).

[foxydivaxx]

Gossip Girl AU Prequel: Z After Dark Chapter 3

A Gossip Girl story ain't a Gossip Girl story without Gossip Girl herself showing up. So this is Gossip Girl's first recorded appearance in-universe. Warnings: sexual content, alcohol

This just in!! Mihawk Dracule has filed from divorce from Terra Roronoa!! As if that ain't enough, Arashi, Zs father has filed for divorce as well. Apparently, the guy filed for divorce but somehow the woman blocked it.

Great news for Z, his new music has been widely acclaimed. Now the question remains, what is Z's next move? Watch this space because things are about to get heated as the summer holidays come to a close.

And who am I? That's one secret I will never tell.

XOXO,

Gossip Girl

Zoro wakes up screaming and panicking. “Baby what’s wrong?” Sanji asks groggily as Zoro’s screams woke him up. The greenette begins to pant, gasping for air as fear begins to paralysed him. He was having yet another nightmare relating to his mum and her abuse. This one involved his mother beating and kicking him repeatedly several times. This was why he asked Sanji to stay with him.

Sanji looked at him with deep concern and cups his face in his hands. “It’s okay, baby. That woman is not here and if she dares lay a hand on you, we will make her pay.”

He then hugs Zoro who simply hugs him back, tears flowing down his eyes. His childhood robbed, his identity stolen. All he ever is is a broken boy. That little boy that used to be there died the moment that woman began her work on him.

"I...I....I don't deserve this. All this fame. All this love. Everything." Sanji hugs Zoro tight and kisses his forehead. "You are wrong Marimo. You deserve everything and much more."

The greenette could only nod whilst Sanji continues to cuddle him. Sanji can understand how it feels to be in Zoro's shoes better than anyone. He is the son of Sora who is the Queen of Pop. Imagine the big shoes he and his siblings have to fill. Plus the fact that their father, rapper Judge Vinsmoke is a deadbeat dad and an abusive bastard at that, then you have traumatized kids.

"Remember when we first met?

Sanji grins. "You made fun of my brows and called me Curly and I fired back and called you Marimo because of your hair and we had a nasty argument that day."

They both laughed. "I believe we were 6 year olds then." says Zoro. "Yeah. I think so. The fact that we are still together is funny. I mean, everyone thought we hated each other till one day out of the blue, I called you my husband."

Sanji falls over laughing. "I still can't believe you fucking said that!!"

"Got jealous because Maria kissed you." Sanji just giggles. "Jesus fucking Christ!! So that was why you pulled me away from her?!" Sanji asked. Zoro nods.

"I envied Sukuna because that bitch had rizz back then. Still fucking does. I even thought he was gonna steal you from me." Zoro admits. "So that is why you even act bitchy towards him huh?"

"That plus that was why I lost my virginity at that gay bar in Italy to Griffith. You know? That rich guy I met at the club there. He was my boyfriend for like 3 months then."

Sanji gasps. Everyone knows the Griffith story but not the full details. He never knew how wild Zoro was back then. Considering he himself did similar shit, like hello he worked at a strip club at the time so he knows the drill. But damn. "Dude!! How did you fucking sneak into a fucking gay bar?! Like you were fucking 13 then!!"

"Perona helped. That is all I can say about that. Either way, the guy was quite charming and good looking."

"Yeah but not as hot as I am right?"

"Yes."

"But what made you break up with him?"

"The motherfucker cheated on me with some French model. Like the bitch used me for cheap publicity. Not helping was Sesshomaru leaking out my private details to the press around that time."

"Now I get why we never saw you in school for years."

"Either way, that is the past. You know what? Maybe I should come back to school. But before that, we should celebrate the summer. Like I wanna do fun stuff with you my buddies. I mean, can you believe that I have never chilled in the fucking pool not even once?!"

A bright idea pops up in Sanji's mind. "I think now is the time to host a pool party."

"THAT SOUNDS AWESOME!!"

"Like we can host it this weekend. Of course we will ask Mihawk for permission. Then we will invite those that we trust. Food, booze, you name it. We will sort that. And most importantly..."

Sanji rolls them aorund so that he was on top of Zoro and kisses his lips. "I will give myself to you that day. Yes Daddy, I want you to dominate me that day and fuck me silly and make me your sugar baby officially. I want you to be the King you fucking are."

Zoro was taken aback by this at first. He did not expect Sanji to be that open about it like that. Though to be frank, he and Sanji have been acting like a couple for a long time. They never brought up the sex conversation before.

"If that is what my baby wants, then I will give it to you and spoil you rotten." Sanji giggles and proceeds to make out with him.

************************************************************************

Later that weekend, all of Zoro's friends get invited to the pool party that was being hosted at Mihawk's house. The media gets wind of it of course and every single blog talks about it.

Zoro no longer gives a shit. He is all about having a great time. None of the adults are around. Well, the staff are obviously but the parents are out of town so that the kids can have their fun.

"Now this is what I'm talking about!!" says Sukuna as he sips on some beer in a plastic cup. "About time Big Z hosted us properly without a certain someone breathing down our damn necks!!" says Rukia.

Zoro snorts with laughter. His eyes then fall on Sanji who was having a chat with Nami and Gojo next to the barbecue spot. Sukuna and Eren exchange smirks.

"Are they or aren't they fucking?" Usopp asked. Everyone laughs. Sanji blushes. "OI!! BITCH WHAT THE FUCK?" Zoro raises an eyebrow. "Really dude?" he says in a joking tone.

"Just what I wanna know too." Zoro rolls his eyes. Of course this motherfucker would show his dirty face at his own party. He whips around and glares daggers at a smirking Sesshomaru.

Zoro remembers the conversation he and Sanji had the night before. He no longer fears anyone anymore. "Why the fuck are you here? No one fucking invited you."

Everyone stops what they are doing and watches the drama unfold. Sesshomaru has a fake hurt expression on his face. "Oh come on!! That is no way to speak to a friend."

"You stopped being a friend the moment you leaked out my whereabouts and private information to the paparazzi and media.I also got intel that my mamma was paying you to spy on me."

Jaws drop at that revelation. "It's not what you think."

It was at this point that Zoro just explodes and goes off on him. "Or really? Oh and what about that that interview you gave where you said shit about my sex life? I get that I was underage and stuff but bitch you had no fucking right!!" Sesshomaru gets on the floor and tries to crawl away. Sanji places a hand on Zoro's shoulder. That calms him down.

"Good thing you showed your dirty face here. One less bitch left to deal with because I have already started weeding all you fake bitches out of my life which as why I never invited you!!"

He gets down on his knees, the signature Roronoa death glare in place. Compared to before, the death glare was a lot more menacing. Everyone in the room literally cowered in fear. "I suggest you and your little bitches run because if I still fucking find you bitches in here, I will not hesitate to send you bitches to hell." he says in the coldest tone he could muster.

With that, Sesshomaru and his cronies run for it. "Bet the bastard will go report to his mistress." says Sanji. "Let him. Besides, the woman has no power anymore. Either way, bae you and I got something to attend to." Zoro whispers.

Sanji grins. "Lead the way." Zoro takes Sanji's hand and pulls him away. The others snicker as they all knew what was about to happen.

Once they are in Zoro's room, Sanji locks the door behind him. Zoro grabs his lover and slams him against the wall, kissing him passionately.

Sanji lets out a moan as Zoro leaves a trail down his neck. Thankfully, they were wearing boxers which makes things easier for them. They pull down each other's boxers and move over to the bed.

Zoro crawls on top of him and stares lovingly at Sanji. "Why ain't I a lucky son of a bitch?" Sanji chuckles. "I can say the same about myself too."

The greenette gets to work and begins to kiss and bite certain parts of the blonde's skin, leaving him a moaning mess. "You are mine Sanji. Remember that." Zoro growls out. Sanji could feel his cock twitch with excitement as Zoro was now taking more control, owning his sexiness for once. He was finally maturing into the tiger that he truly was.

"Ah...Zoro...."

It seemed like the Sesshomaru incident had caused Zoro to snap as he kept on torturing Sanji but teasing him relentlessly. He spies the lube on the bedside table and grabs it. He pours a generous amount on his fingers and inserts one into Sanji's hole.

Sanji hisses in pain at first. It has been a while he has had sex. "You okay babe?" Sanji nods. "Been a while." Once he feels settled, he nods at Zoro who begins to slowly push his finger in and out of Sanji's ass.

Sanji moans in pleasure. "Fuck that feels good....." Zoro smirks and begins to get aggressive and inserts a second finger in, continue to thrust, earning more moans.

He then inserts a third one and increases his speed. "This is just the beginning bae. Once I insert my cock into you, I will make you lose your mind."

"D-DON'T TALK DIRTY LIKE THAT YOU FUCKING MOSSHEAD!!" Zoro laughs and pulls out his fingers. He then flips Sanji around so that he was on all fours. "Oh you are seriously asking for it you dirty brat!!"

He then proceeds to smack his butt real hard, earning a loud howl. Zoro continues to spank him until his asscheeks are completely red.

Sanji was happy about this. This was what he clearly wanted. He wanted Zoro to lose his mind like that and dominate him like the bad bitch that he is.

Sanji just smirks. "That all you got." Zoro raises an eyebrow. "Don't get too cocky bitch." He then spreads his ass cheeks and without warning, inserts his cock into his hole.

"AAH!!"

Zoro smirks and continues to pound into that ass without warning. "Oh my...fuck!! AH YES!! FUCK ME!! FUCK ME HARD!!" Sanji screams.

"That's it you dirty slut!! Take all of me!!" He keeps on fucking the living daylights out of him. Sanji begins to cry out some incoherent gibberish as it just feels good.

Soon, Zoro hits his prostrate which makes him see stars. "AH!! FUCK!!!" Zoro keeps on attacking that same spot, pulling Sanji back and capturing his lips in a kiss. "Fuck...I...I'm getting close." With one last final thrust, both men cum at the same time.

"Wow..." Sanji says, panting. Zoro soon pulls out and falls on the bed, chuckling. "I think I overdid it."

"Nah that felt good." Zoro helps to clean them up and the two head back outside, holding hands. "So, does this make us official?" Sanji asked. Zoro grins. "Yes it does."

Meanwhile, Sesshomaru is dragged and dumped in front of Terra. "Useless fool." she says. "I couldn't kill him. Not with that many people there."

"Excuses. Excuses. Excuses." She pulls out a gun and points it at him. "Say hello to your mother for me." Without hesitation, she pulls the trigger. Sesshomaru closes his eyes and says a silent prayer, preparing for the worst only for nothing to happen.

He opens his eyes to see a flag sticking out of the gun saying "Sike." She smirks. "Be grateful I did not stoop that low." She then whispers in his ear. "You were always a more worthier son to me than Zoro anyway." With that, she walks way with her guards following her, leaving a confused Sesshomaru behind.

Things are getting out of hand here. Terra as you can see is one heck of a scary woman.

[anwynb2003]

Um... I think I made a BatFam AU while half-asleep...

Ok so, I wake up, and it seems last night I wrote out a messy explanation of a story that I just might have to write now... but I've read literally one Batman comic (Death in the Family), and all my knowledge comes from either YouTube, Wikis, and stories on AO3...

Hyperfixation is fun, isn't it?

Anyway, here's a copy-paste of what I wrote in my half-asleep state at around 2:00 last night (note, the doc itself is simply titled "C'mon. You Know."):

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tireeeeed let’s do this

Okay so

AU: No superheroes. Bruce Wayne is just a rich dude who starts taking in orphans because reasons.

First up was Dick Grayson, who he adopted when he was 9.

7 years later, he added 13-year-old Jason Todd.

3 years later, 12-year-old Tim Drake.

2 years later, 14-year-old Cassie Cain.

And finally, 2 years after that, he learned of and gained custody of his only biological son: 10-year-old Damian Wayne.

Only a year after Damian joined the family though, Brucie boy died, presumably in a “tragic accident”, but it’s quickly revealed that someone’s altered his will, leaving his kids with none of the family’s fortune; not even their home.

Dick, who’d moved out a few years ago, now has custody of his 3 youngest siblings, and only a small, 2-bedroom house in Blüdhaven to care for them in.

Jason, who for a variety of reasons had run away at 15, and had stayed away for the most part, reluctantly agrees to move in Full House style to help Dick, while all the siblings work with their ex-butler/grandfather figure Alfred, and family-friends Jim and Babs Gordon to figure out the mystery of their father’s death and will.

Tensions run high, Dick’s having a breakdown, Jay’s struggling to Dad (verb), Tim’s gay and spiralling, Cass struggles with speech, and Dami’s emotionally stunted. Yay!

So we got:

Dick, 24-year-old officer of the BPD. Adopted at 9 years old after losing his parents in a circus act gone wrong, Dick stayed with Bruce until he was 18, when after a heated argument he left for college. He made up with his father over the next couple years and stayed in contact, often visiting him and his siblings.

Jason, 21-year-old, works part-time at a gym in Crime Alley, Gotham City. Adopted when he was 13, after several years of living on the streets after his step-mother’s death by overdose and his father’s “peace out” moment. Discovered the identity of his birth-mother, ran away to go find her because teen angst and increasing fights with Bruce, then she was found dead a week later (her ex was charged and found guilty) and while Jay couldn’t be found, much of the blood at the crime scene was his. Then, randomly, he contacted his family again 4 years later, at 19. Didn’t move back in, and things were quite tense between him and Bruce, but still hung out with his siblings outside the home (though he was angry at Tim at first, for being adopted less than a year after his “death” and "replacing" him).

Tim, 17-year-old honours student. Adopted when he was 12, but actually started hanging around the house a little before that, as Dick was tutoring him after school. This helped both Dick, and Bruce to discover how neglectful and emotionally abusive his parents were, and Bruce literally had to sue for custody for this kid. He won.

Cassie, another 17-year-old. Adopted at 14, she’d been on the streets much like Jason had, but of her own volition… to a point. She was scarred after seeing her father do… something, when she was only 8 years old (she’s repressed so hard that even she doesn’t remember exactly what), and so ran away. This thing traumatized her so much that she lost her ability to speak for years, and has only just started learning to talk again. Instead, she usually uses ASL.

And Damian, an 11-year-old ball of politeness, good manners, and pure, unadulterated rage. He was born nine-months after his mother date-raped his father, and was raised in quite an… odd way, by said mother and her father. Long and short of it: crime family, but not a close one. He rarely if ever actually saw his mother, and when he did she wasn’t overly affectionate. He spent most of his early days being groomed to be his grandfather’s heir, only for their entire organization to be captured by police when he was 10. It was now when the emotionally stunted, spoiled brat was put into his father’s custody.

Main issues:

-Dickie boy stressed ooooooouut, gotta be a breadwinner and keep his siblings together and safe

-Jaybird technically never made up with Bruce; they’d actually made plans to get together and talk things out, but then, y’know, death

-Timmy, poor thing, is balancing school, work at Wayne Enterprises, and investigating the case of his father’s death, and has seemingly forgotten what sleep is. Adding on the fact that Bruce being dead means his (granted, chosen) role as heir to the company seems much more real (even despite the fake will, he's confident he'll figure it out and find the real one), he’s not doing all that great

-Cassie, sweetheart, has been emotionally traumatized for years, and now just has more trauma to add to that with Bruce being dead. She’s getting better, but struggling

-Dami, baby bird, is filled with more rage than usual, and is endlessly worried about all the animals in his “zoo”; Alfred remains at the manor (though he has not met his new employer), for the sole purpose of making sure they stay fed, watered, bathed, and more or less cared for.

So, to sum up, Dick’s working to support them and trying his best, Jay’s Dad-ing while Dick’s at work since his hours are more flexible, Tim hasn’t slept in years, Cass needs therapy and hugs, and Damian has a growing army of stuffed animals to fill the gaping hole in his life where his zoo used to be (since he could only bring Titus and Alfred the Cat with him to Bludhaven).

Will they be able to figure out who had their father killed and get their family legacy back?

Hell if I know, I haven’t written it yet. Probably. Get off my back.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

So, long story short, I seem to have issues, but this is happening now apparently.

Not right now though, Ima go play Minecraft.

[quinnfebrey]

Saw your reply about how Gretchen’s existence disproves her theory that women should be in charge. So you think men should be in charge then?

bro what?

the whole point of the show and my comment is the fact that it isn’t as simple as “women are better leaders” if you don’t dismantle the broad generalization of women into intersectionality

you can’t just say “women are better” because white women upheld slavery for years and years and years. and you can’t just say “women are better” because it’s cis woman who have been shoving trans women into boxes, and reinforcing those same oppressive roles onto other cis women as well. you can’t just say “women are better” because it’s straight mothers who send their gay teens to conversion therapy and it’s women who force their daughters to carry pregnancies to term at 13 years old and it’s women who put down other women to get in with the men and it’s women who feed into the patriarchy and every other institutionalized system of oppression, especially rich white women

ever heard of the term “women like hunting witches too”? ring a bell with nora and linh agreeing to be accomplices at one point or another? or fatin’s mother siding with her father when he’s the one who wronged them both? or shelby turning on becca in the heat of her own fear?

gretchen thinks it’s horrible what happened to linh, but is fine drugging the rest of them and stranding them on an island. gretchen thinks women should be in charge, but hires primarily white men for her team. gretchen likes when girls speak up and challenge the norm, unless they’re doing it to her. gretchen went to the women’s march, but is stripping the teens of their autonomy and rights every second they’re in the study. gretchen thinks what her son did to nora’s friend is terrible, but basically mimics his behaviors with her response to linh’s death

the whole point of the show isnt that it turns out men are better at being leaders, it’s that “women are better” is an extremely limited way of viewing things.

and what better way to showcase that than having the self-proclaimed cheerleader for feminism be the one trampling all over nine young, marginalized girls to get where she wants to go

[coffeebeannate]

Nate Watches Things: A Saga

Or in this case, one thing. One thing that was far too long of a thing, but such a bizarre venture that I felt rather compelled to put an actual review of said thing together.

Why? Because I can and because others HAVE to experience this..this journey. A nice lil journey called Die Pfeiler der Macht/ A Dangerous Fortune. And I watched it solely because Luca looks cute in Victorian clothes, and I was intrigued by the gifs.

Curiosity has always been such a great human motivator, eh?

And..guys. I just. I don’t know what the 3-4 hours (it’s two movies, and I took a couple days to watch it) WERE, exactly, but they were..a thing? I know that it’s based on a book by Ken Follett and that this production is German. Despite being based in England. 

Oh, and Luca’s character Mickey Miranda, is uh, Spanish. Make of that what you will.

So the summary is this:

A shocking secret behind a young boys death leads to three generations of treachery in this breathtaking saga of love, power and revenge, set amid the wealth and decadence of Victorian England.

And no it does not do this thing justice whatsoever.

Review under the cut. It’s too long *again, two movies here*, and I took far too many screencaps of this absolute wtfery, and uh, it’s probably better suited for a real-time live blog but nah. You can have this instead.

Some images under the cut are NSFW because nefarious boning is a key point in this..thing.

SPOILERS. So many spoilers. This thing is a spoiler fest. The caps have a very obvious Luca bias, I know why we’re here everyone. Hehe. There’s also some triggering stuff in this thing, so be warned there too.

BEHOLD:

So, a point I want to make is that the costuming in this movie is LEGIT. If absolutely nothing else works? Note that the costuming absolutely does.

The opening credits are very nice, Luca’s very pretty, this cap serves purely to showcase that because I’m a very serious man doing a very serious review.

Pretty.

So the beginning is..confusing. We have a girl, Maisie Robinson. (Around 10-13 here?) Her father is very poor and it’s her and her two siblings. He works for a man who is part of our main characters, the Pilasters?  and they run this bank. The head of the bank commits suicide, since they’re having financial troubles and he cannot repay his workers. He pens a note to his young son *under 12 at this point*, Hugh. 

Hugh never finds out about this letter, but anyway. At the moment, it’s 1866. Maisie’s father was one of those employees. Destitute, he leaves Maisie to..raise her siblings, and goes to America.

We never hear from this man again.

Hugh goes to live with his aunt (Augusta/Augustina?), uncle Joseph, and cousins, Edward and Clara.

THEN IT’S 1877 (we jump ten years)

Maisie’s two siblings have died, and she has a daughter, Rachel now. Who is also dying. This movie is very keen on people dying. I’d also like to point out that there is like, endless plots all happening alongside one another, and it took me until mid-way into part two to even really grasp what the main plot is.

The movie has a LOT of bank talk as well. I cannot express this earnestly enough, there is SO MUCH bank chatter. SO MUCH. This thing does not have to be as long as it is but again, bank stuff.

Anyway, the one plot is that Maisie is from the poor area, she’s had a horrible life and has struggled from day one. She’s in a constant battle with Hugh, and they argue a lot. A lot. (They like each other, they met as kids, but they’re from very different worlds. Hugh has money, she doesn’t, but Hugh has suffered as well and basically it’s your normal class struggle social commentary thing).

Maisie and Hugh in 1866, as kids, after Maisie’s father left for America. This is the funeral for Hugh’s father. So that’s the theme I mean.

Anywho.

Back in 1877, this is Samuel *left*, Joseph *middle* and Edward. The Pilaster’s get marched into work like they’re freaking army Captain’s and not just rich ass bankers. Imagine saluting your CEO. At work. Outside of the military. WHERE IS THIS A THING? Maybe this was a thing in Victorian England I have no clue I’ve certainly never come across it in my studies. Ffs.

Anyway.

So while all this is going on, there’s this man that wants to marry Maisie. 

And his name is,

(That’s Rachel, Maisie’s daughter). Anyway, Solly here loves Maisie and wants to marry her. But Maisie loves Hugh, and neither of them realize this yet. Solly is a himbo and we mostly like him, but stay tuned because that doesn’t stick. Sorta. Depends on how-

Nevermind I’ll just keep going.

ANYWAY, more plot.

Here’s Edward again, doing drugs, being gay, and overall..useless. Edward is..Edward is kind of like a person who would make an interesting wall decoration. Fun enough to look at, but utterly freaking hopeless, and useless, and so dumb. Just so dumb. This character is given the substance of ash fault. Kinda like, only vaguely solid enough to be entertaining. Kinda.

I don’t know guys, BUT LOOK!

It’s his good old pal Mickey! And he’s slapped Edward awake out of his drug coma (okay he grabs his face and shakes him rather than slapping but given how much slapping happens in the rest of this movie I think I can be forgiven) and he has PLOTS.

Mostly it’s his dads plot, but it’s a plot. A very devious scheme and he needs our favourite wallpapers assistance!

(Sorry Edward, but it’s true)

So keeping in mind that the ‘theme’ of this movie is bone-and-soul crushing sadness paired with periods of intense chaos and insanity that  you never see coming, our plots continue to thicken.

What Mickey means here, is that Edward’s family denied Mickey’s father what he wanted *weapons deal*, and beat the crap out of Mickey in a carriage. But that’s fine that’s fine Mickey is not deterred! BECAUSE.

*sigh*

So.

OK.

This scene.

Remember what I said about how this movie goes from being incredibly boring to so off the walls bonkers without actually WARNING YOU that it is going to do this? Yeah.

Edward, you see, really does not ‘do’ women. He’s gay. He’s extremely gay. Edward’s mother wants him to marry Florence Stalworthy for idk rich people reasons.

So..Mickey. Uh. Mickey’s solution is..this.

What is this, you ask??

Fuck if I know.

Anyway, no, uhm. This is a brothel. So (not) pictured here (I can’t post the scene on tumblr guys we have a ban) is Edward on a couch across from mask-and-feathers MIckey and this tied down woman, with another woman who is not tied down. And this is Mickey..showing Edward..how to.have sex with women. Apparently. Sort of. His lesson falls very flat. It is not a good scene, Mickey’s ‘instructions’ get increasingly louder, and he at one point makes this noise that sounds like a Joker laugh.

It is...it’s something.

(Also note there’s some extremely uncomfortable, misogynistic name-calling on Mickey’s part here..so yeah).

Oh, and it doesn’t convince Edward. At all. IMAGINE.

Around all this time, the Hugh/Maisie/Solly plot is also ongoing. And that also encompasses bar fighting (bare knuckles boxing and wrestling I think? And gambling)

Hugh has gambling debt we’ll get back to this. (He’s also obsessed with getting Russian bonds into the bank, again, the banking plot losses me a LOT)

So meanwhile, Mickey meets up with Edward’s mother.

But why Edward’s mother, you ask??

Well. *sigh*. Something I didn’t mention earlier is that Mickey likes Ed’s mum. A lot. A lot a lot. Mickey wants to take that woman to town and then some, is a very basic way of me putting it and-

Fuck it. Mickey wants to bang Ed’s mum. BADLY.

(She’s not opposed either, at all)

So their little scheme here is that Ed’s mum wants Ed to take control of the bank, but with the father-in-law alive, that’s not going to happen. So they’re plotting to take down the next person in charge who would succeed said father in law, (Samuel) who is in a relationship with the secretary mentioned above, Michael.

Yes, another GODDAMNED PLOT.

(Samuel is fairly unpleasant like all of these people, so I don’t feel that bad for him. He also kinda treats Michael like garbage, and is called out for this by Joseph later in the movie)

So the scheme here is to get rid of the father-in-law, and get Ed married. Cake walk!

(Also, while ALL THIS is going on, Mickey’s got his own mini-plot about doing these things for his father, the weapons and stuff but we don’t actually find out about the main goal of that whole thing till the end, you’ll see)

Oh, and since we’ve not had a good dose of ‘WHAT THE FUCK’ lately, Solly proposes to Maisie with an honest-to-god Alice in Wonderland party.

Yeah.

Meet the Mad Hatter! He’s a guide, he says nothing. Other people are in costume too, but you know-I have enough caps as it is.

So anyway, Maisie and Solly get engaged, Maisie and Hugh meet up at some point and bang instead. 

And while that’s happening, Edward is convinced by Mickey to marry Florence.

So he does.

Lookit this shit faced smug ass grin.

(Also ahead is Samuel again, and Hugh)

BUT THEN the bank finds out about Hugh’s gambling debts. So he leaves. Taking his cousin Clara (Edward’s teenage sister-at her insistence) to the USA. And just like Maisie’s dad, another man abandons her for the States.

So the father in law is still alive, so! 

It’s murder time.

Perfect wedding time event yeah?

So Mickey murders the father-in-law. (He jumps on him, suffocates him with a pillow, gets caught by Augusta and then they do this..weird ‘tensely make the bed thing’)

Murdered.

And then, exactly five seconds or so later..

Nothing like some murder pre-boning with the dead guy two feet away amiright?

Anyway at this point I was just:

And yelling at my ceiling. Not pictured.

I was a Hannibal fan and I STILL went !?!?!?

END PART ONE.

Part two starts out in 1912, and then cuts back to 1882. So in this messy timeline, note it has been six years since part one. And Hugh is married now to Nora, an American singer, and Clara is older and pregnant. (Father is never determined, but he’s a married man and that’s why Clara didn’t stay)

SO the three of them are returning home. Maisie and Solly have a son, David, and Maisie is depressed and distant, so Solly is the one who spends all the time with David. He’s shown as a legit good dad and it’s quite cute watching them.

(The kids Hugh’s, btw, he and Maisie both know this, Hugh does not, it’s revealed dramatically later but we still have so many plots)

Edward and Florence are childless. Edward doesn’t sleep with her. Everyone knows this.

(At this point I kept asking myself when this would end, I cannot stress how LONG this thing feels at times)

So Hugh and Nora meet up with Maisie and Solly, and they chat and there’s more love plots, more bank plots and a masquerade party where at some point Maisie thinks a little girl at the party is Rachel (who died in the end of part one, sorry!) and there’s a fire and Maisie and Hugh make out and Nora and Solly are both upset and it’s a whole thing.

Samuel now does something of a side business that’s unspecified with Michael, and pregnant Clara is being persued by the only man who might be a good match for her (she’s not keen on getting married. But he’s also..really old.) PLOTS.

And Mickey and Augusta are..still a thing. And Edward being chlidless is becoming an issue. So what is the solution dear friends??

*BANGS HEAD INTO A WALL*

Why the fuck not.

Absolutely flawless! Eddie will NEVER notice.

SO with this plan in motion, Mickey sets out to seduce Florence, Eddie’s neglected wife. He starts in a church, and I have to admit, this one line he gives is quite funny.

“I don’t go to church.”

Cannot begin to imagine why.

Also, around this time is when we get the infamous scene about how he fcked the wives of the three men and then made the guys suck his dick one by one. I didn’t cap that since it’s in gif form, but yeah.

Hugh and Solly and Nora and Maisie are still having their love issues. And there is still bank stuff as all this is going down.

But while on his Florence quest, we see Mickey beat up a guy who was abusing a small boy, and Florence see’s him do this as well and:

He looks so baffled. 

‘Me? GOOD? I really don’t think so.”

She’s also holding a baby, and he gives the infant this face:

“Eugh, what is that?”

He also finds her in church again at some point and comes alongside her like this:

”Sup? Whatcha prayin’ about?”

Anyway, while doing all this, he’s still having some issues. He needs Eddie’s signature for a bank transfer (for his father, his father’s plot is STILL a THING) and so it is time to seduce someone ELSE. This time it’s Edward. This won’t be hard. Edward wants him so bad you could probably see it from fucking space.

Mickey is well aware of this.(I don’t think it’s one sided either, he looks at Edward all wide eyed half the time, but he’s so manipulative it’s hard to judge).

Actually me right now tbh.

So that’s this followed by the infamous gif set.

Edward takes him up on it.

‘Come along my dear there’s nefarious boning to be done’.

Absolutely vital screencap below (which is the most we get anyway and I didn’t cap the line about the freaking signature because fuck plots over nice images okay)

Vital

Anyway Edward gives him the bloody signature. And then Mickey goes along to talk to Augusta. But at this point Mickey is very much beginning to unravel. His goal seems to be more centralized to finishing whatever long ass convoluted job his father has been making him do for the last six years (possibly more tbh) and he’s sort of done with everything.

And Edward see’s this exchange. Le. Oof.

SO! IN BETWEEN ALL THIS. There’s some party where there’s drama and then basically Nora..willing gives up Hugh so he can be with Maisie and Solly just..I don’t even know, single dad for life and all. Edward knows that his family has basically been doing shit all around him, and Mickey STILL seduces Florence. He has her meet him outside that night at two am and they get together, but when he’s with her he kinda has these doubts but she wants him anyway so they bang.

Yeesh.

AFTER that there’s Edward again, because Edward knows shit is up, Mickey goes to a room to grab a bag and see’s Edward there. He tells Edward goodbye, but Edward pulls a gun. Mickey just...drops the bag, tells him to shoot. Edward doesn’t, instead he turns the gun on himself and then Mickey shoots himself in a chair.

Yeah.

DEATH! SADNESS! REMEMBER-THIS MOVIE LOVES DEAD PEOPLE~!

At some point in all this, Augusta goes to her daughter, Clara, apologies for being an absolutely evil mother for her entire life and then the movie sort of begins to wrap up.

Maisie and David were going to leave for the States together, but David wants to stay with Solly, who well DID raise him despite him being Hugh’s kid. So Maisie and Hugh are alone and David lives with Solly and the Pilaster bank has discovered the ACTUAL FREAKING PLOT OF MICKEY’S DAD AND THE ENTIRE BACKGROUND THING. Which was this:

THIS DIDN’T NEED TO BE ALMOST FOUR HOURS, GERMANY.

SO Hugh lets the mob inside. We don’t see what happens after that, but Augusta comes in to tell Joseph Edward shot himself.

Lots of sadness.

So the movie ends in 1912, with David and Hugh meeting up. David never saw Maisie again *she’s deceased now, as is Solly.* they talk, there is some moral lesson or something about love. The goddamned end.

OOF.

SO overall?

I don’t know.

It’s a movie. It has a script and plot and..it was put on screen? The costumes are legitimately amazing. They might be the best thing about this thing. But it REALLY feels like Ken really wanted to make a movie about banking, noticed that’d be boring and tried to make it spicy.

It’s so bizarre. So depressing. So many people are horrible. So many bad things happen. So much slapping, so much weirdness. There’s nothing happy in this thing. Not one. The so called ‘good’-ish ending falls flat amongst a sea of depression and I re-iterate, IT DOES NOT HAVE TO BE SO LONG.

I distinctly recall lots of clock watching at times, wondering how I could POSSIBLY have more to go. It then goes so completely off the rails that you just don’t know what is happening and it’s just WEIRD.

At times that weirdness makes it fun, but overall it’s really not great. I probably would never rewatch it, and I can say that it’s an uh, experience in movie-watching.

A good one? I don’t know. But an experience, none the less.

[ginwhitlock]

At 12, I was doing my best. But when I was 13, I went through a traumatic experience. I lost my dad to cancer and after that, I was horrible. Obviously I was bound to act out after that but I was so hateful for a very long time. I didn't start properly healing until I was about 18-19. And I do have my issues spotting unhealthy relationships even now. I was in an extremely toxic relationship for about 4 years until I realized something wasn't right.

And I do agree about understanding certain parts of Edward's character. Specifically not liking the kind of person you are. My biggest issue was that he did act extremely immature at tjmes. But I did have a soft spot for Jacob. I too was in love with one of my best friends and did not knkw what to do about it. And he always had the best intentions for Bella.

Low-key my biggest conflict when it came to Twilight in 2008 was being in love with Rosalie and realizing "oh dear, I am not straight." Which was alarming because I was very sheltered and grew up in a very conservative area and I was nervous.

You may know, I grew up in the south. Like. Deep South. I’m from a medium sized town called Summerville SC. My grandfather (and every son before him) was a preacher and a wonderful man, but that didn’t mean being gay was something I was allowed to talk about or acknowledge. I have a lot of trauma I could dump about my CA growing up but it’s old news, but I understand being scared finding out.

Funny enough, I hated Rosalie. And like. Hate is a strong word I’m a Christian and you know you shouldn’t be throwing rocks when you yourself have a glass house (or wishing harm or hating anyone. That’s like a whole doctrine) but I really didn’t like her. Maybe it was because I’m dirt poor and she was the high up rich girl from the north that I couldn’t possibly relate to other than with her being assaulted— and maybe that made me even more hateful knowing that the seemingly most important thing about me was my SA but that neither here nor there. But what’s funny is I never found her hot?! I like blonde girls, strong ones at that, and not once did I ever look at Rose and go.., hmm. Pretty lady. LMAO

I think Edward had good intentions but he failed when he did not involve Bella into her own life plans. Like he made plans for her and not around her. She is a girl with issues surrounding responsibility and independence and he really fucked with that.

[owlghost]

1-25 for the ask game, for 25 I choose Danny!

hot damn okay!

1) When did you first watch Danny Phantom?i watched it the day it premiered! i was eight years old wowie

2) What’s your favorite fic?OH SHIT idk man i have read and loved way to many to pick a fav uh i personally really love horror and angsty stuff, which is very easy to find lmao

3) If you could canonically rewrite any episode, which would you chose?obviously phantom planet. i like the concept of a crazy-ass asteroid thats going to destroy the earth unless ghosts and people join together to ~save the day~ but it couldve been done without all the other bullshit i probably dont need to explain

4) What’s your favorite ship (if any)?pitch pearl holds a special place in my heart since it was one of the first that i ever liked, otherwise im neutral on most of them

5) Thoughts about Amethyst Ocean?i hate it and i dont like sam either

6) Thoughts about Gray Ghost?im neutral on it

7) Thoughts about Swagger Bishie?i used to like it a lot, even now i enjoy the dynamic but otherwise neutral

8) Thoughts about Wes Weston?if written well he can be a really good addition, so yeah i enjoy his character

9) Thoughts about Vlad?couldve been a really good antagonist, but hes too rigid of a character in canon. theres a few fanon versions i really enjoy- one being where he’s still a bad guy for using his powers to get rich and blackmail people, but hes not out for murder (tho maybe still bitter) and doesnt want danny as his son. like hes a bad guy but not a Bad Guy if that makes sense

10) Would you rather wear the striped pants or ‘It’s not gay if he’s dead’ t-shirt?those pants are atrocious, give me the shirt. tho maybe confusing since im a lesbian lmao

11) Most underrated fic trope?nobody knows au, please give me more i am starving

12) Most overrated fic trope?field trip into dannys head/ghost zone, its just been written so many times that the dead horse is now ground meat

13) Which do you prefer more, ghost hunger or dissection fics?AW FUCK MAN dont make me choose both are so gross and horrific that i love them equally

14) Have you ever read a dissection fic and if so, do you remember your first one?ya obviously, and it was lab rat which was also the very first fic i read for the fandom and i was fuckin HOOKED

15) Who’s your favorite character?i mean danny bc im basic but other than him either frostbite of wulf

16) Would you rather Danny be an astronaut or the Ghost King?not to project but i’d rather him be an astronaut bc i personally know the pain of growing up and working so hard to do a specific thing, but then having something happen that completely destroys all that work. okay im 100% projecting but let him live out his dreams BLEASE, for me

17) Would you rather Danny expose his secret to his family or classmates?both are good but probably family so there could be some heavy duty hurt/comfort

18) What do you think ghost speak would sound like?like a recording of someone speaking but its played in reverse w an overlay of static and an echobut i also like where its just a jumble of letters so it looks and sounds like gibberish but theres obviously rules and grammar and whatnot

19) Thoughts about field trip fics?the horse is GROUND BEEF guys(write whatever u want idc, just have fun)

20) Thoughts about “season four” fics?i dont think ive read any so idk

21) Which two characters would you like to swap bodies for a day?MAN IDK i dont really like body swap stuff

22) Any headcanons about the Infinite Realms?its the opposite of space so anything and anyone could and does exist bc its truly infinite and ever expanding

23) Any headcanons about the A-Listers?kwan and star are actually pretty nicedash has a shitty home lifepaulina is middle class At Best but has amazing sewing skills so she can make any garment look expensive

24) Any headcanons about Dani?shes nomadic so she doesnt stay in place very longanonymously runs a very popular instagram where she takes pictures and videos of the places she visitschanges a lot of aspects of her appearance so she doesnt look like a danny clone anymore- basically becomes her own person physically

25) What song do you associate with Danny?enter shikari - airfield (thats also a link to the song)

[jamiebluewind]

A Story On Life and Death and Funerals

Yall ever have the conversation with someone? The one when you admit outloud what you would want done when you die? I did. More than once to a variety of people. The reason I'm bringing it up is that I had a bit of a reminder today as to why it's important.

Today I was in therapy. This was only my second visit with her since I moved here, so we are still covering a lot of the basics. The subject got on my mamaw (southen word for grandmother). The woman who I had thought of as a mother and often introduced me as her youngest daughter or her baby. She live next door to me most of my childhood and I practically lived at her house. I loved her. So very much. The only person who liked me as I was. She put aside time every day to work on spelling and reading with me. In fact, all her hard work and patience with me is part of the reason it took so long for anyone to realize that the girl with some of the highest grades in class had dyslexia and minor dyscalcula (near perfect scores every test and assessment, but flunked pop quizes)! It turned out she had it herself, recognized it in me, and knew that getting frustrated and giving up would only make things harder when what I truly needed was to read every day. She taught me how to bake tea cakes and play with recipes. To always be kind to others, unless they gave you a reason not to and then you give um hell! To be myself (as long as it doesn't hurt you or anybody else), even if other people think it's weird. She was a white Christian woman from the deep south who played basketball with boys back in the 1930s and 1940s, got an education, built bombs during the war, was the first woman in her (very large) family to get a driver's license and own her own car, made more money than her husband (they were far from rich, but they worked hard, managed their money, and used their skills to make their lives better than people with twice as much) and would shut him down when he tried to control the house or what she did, built a picnic table in her own yard to feed the hobos (homeless people who road the trains) when she could afford it, had black friends who she would invite over to share a homecooked meal while segregation was still in full swing, made sure that their dogs always ate and were cared for, sewed simple shorts and tank tops using fabric scraps to give to neighborhood kids to play in, would skip church if someone was sick or just needed her help, ripped her brother-in-law a new one in the late 70s/early 80s when he tried to disown her nephew for coming out as gay (it didn't matter who he loved, he was still his son) and then stormed off to go comfort the boy, sang in a quartet and played piano and guitar, gardened most of her life (a huge vegetable garden with her family and a plot of various flowers, despite people calling them pointless), and on and on. A thousand things big and small that got her called weird (and worse). This woman who taught me so much through words and actions and never forgot my birthday (she made me a strawberry cake every year and when she got to old to bake she bought one and when she couldn't get out to do that, she got me a strawberry snackcake somehow) even when everybody else did... she was the best thing in my life for a long long time.

But I was "just" a grandkid. Despite all our history. Just a grandkid. Despite the fact that when she had a stroke when I was a teenager (15 or 16 I think?), I was the one who fought to keep her out of a nursing home and stayed with her 24/6 with no help for two months (caring for her, doing physical therapy with her, and crashing and sleeping the whole day somebody took over for me) and 3 to 4 days a week for months after that (she got an aid that came by a few hours in the mornings during the week to help out and two of her kids started taking one to three days a week each) until she recovered enough to live in her own home for years, dying in a retirement home 12 or 13 years later. Despite her and I having a long conversation about what we both wanted to happen after we died. Just. A. Grandkid. She got the funeral they wanted. I wasn't included in the talks or even allowed to tell them what she told to me. They didn't even let me give them her favorite socks (knee high fuzzy striped socks that made her laugh because she thought they made her look like the wicked witch) to put in her casket.

The funeral has lots of cut flowers instead a few simple ones. It lasted nearly 3 hours (Southern Baptist and the time does not count the viewing) with an introduction, a group that sang hymns at multiple intervals (including one longer set), multiple group prayers, a group hymn, two in church sermons, the church presenting a gift to the family, and a graveside sermon (no drive as the grave was beside the church) instead of something that was under an hour (because some people have bad backs, some people are old, kids get figity, and it's already hard enough on the family). They focused heavily on religion and how godly she was (even saying she put god first and family second which would have made her roll over in her grave) and gave the family a Bible with her name on it (as the family suggested despite her skipping church as much as her daugher would let her the last 3 years because it exhausted her too much). Her grandson-in-law gave the second sermon and after more talk of how religious she was and how closely she followed the Bible (the same woman that was proud of me for arguing with the preacher on bible logic when I was little, supported her gay nephew, and said it was fine for a couple who made each other happy to live together because there were more important things in life than a piece of paper), he inserted the only story told about her life which was bits and pieces about when she built the table for the homeless men (a story he heard from me) as an example of what a godly woman she was, with added embelishments, alterations, omitions, and a big part about her being called to do it by god (she did it in part because her husband was a hobo for a short time years before they met, part because nobody else would do it, and part out of pure spit for saying she couldn't). She wanted something that focused on her life and her family with a prayer and a couple songs mixed in and a few words from the preacher to comfort those left and hurting. A big potluck before or after the funeral for people to just talk and laugh and comfort each other.

But the truth is, I don't know everything she would have wanted. I don't know what might have changed in the ~5 years since we had talked about it, how well the memory aged for me, or if my memory was clouded by my own biases. I know she picked out a dress and told her daughter, but not me. I know there is probably more.

Then I started thinking about what I had said to her that night on the couch when we talked about what we would want to happen after we died. That me from just a decade ago is not the me today. Some of the things I wanted are the same. Some have changed. Some are things I would actually NOT want to happen at all! So maybe, just maybe, a version of my mamaw wanted that funeral at some point. Perhaps she told her kids years ago, before her stroke (which took the dexterity in her dominant hand and gave her a strong slur, making it hard for people to understanding her words or have the patience to wait for them). Maybe that's the real reason why it all played out like it did. But they don't know. And I don't know. And everybody has hurt feelings over it.

So, tonight I mentioned what I wanted when I died to my best friend because it was on my mind. I went about my day and my evening, but as I was getting ready for bed, I realized something. I had made the same mistake. I have people who know what past me wanted, know what current me wants, and think they know what current me would want, but none of them are exactly right or completely wrong or even know all the information. It's not all in one place and memories can fade with time.

So think about what you want to happen instead of placing it all on your grieving family and the mourner's version of a used car saleman. Open up a dialogue. And most importantly, create a living will (so family won't have to guess for end of life care) and share copies of it with your doctor and family (updating as needed such as if you move to a different state or your wishes change) and have your wishes (for what you want to happen after you die) in writing on a seperate thing from your will (which is often not located and read until most of the decisions have already been made), share copies with relevant people (or look into services that will give it to them after your death or email copies to a list of people), keep a copy in a folder with other important documents (like your living will, last will and testameny, titles, mortgage papers, and such), and make sure to check it (a reminder can help) every so often (once a year or once ever ten years, as long as you do it) to make sure nothing has changed, needs to be added, or no longer applies. An expression of funeral wishes is not legally binding (like a relative I knew that wanted one that would have left two well stocked small flower shops practically empty), but they are better than having nothing and your grieving family fighting over guesswork.

So... yeah. Don't be afraid to do it or worried about what it means or feel like it's too depressing to think about. Better you than them.

[richincolor]

New Releases this Week

September 2019 is a busy month for YA publishing. We have another great week of releases to look forward to tomorrow (September 10, 2019).

A Match Made in Mehendi by Nandini Pajpai Little, Brown Books for Young Readers

Fifteen-year-old Simran “Simi” Sangha comes from a long line of Indian vichole-matchmakers-with a rich history for helping parents find good matches for their grown children. When Simi accidentally sets up her cousin and a soon-to-be lawyer, her family is thrilled that she has the “gift.”

But Simi is an artist, and she doesn’t want to have anything to do with relationships, helicopter parents, and family drama. That is, until she realizes this might be just the thing to improve her and her best friend Noah’s social status. Armed with her family’s ancient guide to finding love, Simi starts a matchmaking service-via an app, of course.

But when she helps connect a wallflower of a girl with the star of the boys’ soccer team, she turns the high school hierarchy topsy-turvy, soon making herself public enemy number one.

His Hideous Heart edited by Dahlia Adler Flatiron Books

Thirteen of YA’s most celebrated names reimagine Edgar Allan Poe’s most surprising, unsettling, and popular tales for a new generation.

Edgar Allan Poe may be a hundred and fifty years beyond this world, but the themes of his beloved works have much in common with modern young adult fiction. Whether the stories are familiar to readers or discovered for the first time, readers will revel in Edgar Allan Poe’s classic tales, and how they’ve been brought to life in 13 unique and unforgettable ways.

Contributors include Kendare Blake (reimagining “Metzengerstein”), Rin Chupeco (“The Murders in the Rue Morge”), Lamar Giles (“The Oval Portrait”), Tessa Gratton (“Annabel Lee”), Tiffany D. Jackson (“The Cask of Amontillado”), Stephanie Kuehn (“The Tell-Tale Heart”), Emily Lloyd-Jones (“The Purloined Letter”), Hillary Monahan (“The Masque of the Red Death”), Marieke Nijkamp (“Hop-Frog”), Caleb Roehrig (“The Pit and the Pendulum”), and Fran Wilde (“The Fall of the House of Usher”).

Pet by Akwaeke Emezi Make Me a World

Pet is here to hunt a monster. Are you brave enough to look?

There are no more monsters anymore, or so the children in the city of Lucille are taught. With doting parents and a best friend named Redemption, Jam has grown up with this lesson all her life. But when she meets Pet, a creature made of horns and colours and claws, who emerges from one of her mother’s paintings and a drop of Jam’s blood, she must reconsider what she’s been told. Pet has come to hunt a monster, and the shadow of something grim lurks in Redemption’s house. Jam must fight not only to protect her best friend, but also to uncover the truth, and the answer to the question-How do you save the world from monsters if no one will admit they exist?

In their riveting and timely young adult debut, acclaimed novelist Akwaeke Emezi asks difficult questions about what choices a young person can make when the adults around them are in denial.

The Magnolia Sword: A Ballad of Mulan by Sherry Thomas Tu Books

CHINA, 484 A.D.

A Warrior in Disguise All her life, Mulan has trained for one purpose: to win the duel that every generation in her family must fight. If she prevails, she can reunite a pair of priceless heirloom swords separated decades earlier, and avenge her father, who was paralyzed in his own duel.

Then a messenger from the Emperor arrives, demanding that all families send one soldier to fight the Rouran invaders in the north. Mulan’s father cannot go. Her brother is just a child. So she ties up her hair, takes up her sword, and joins the army as a man.

A War for a Dynasty Thanks to her martial arts skills, Mulan is chosen for an elite team under the command of the princeling–the royal duke’s son, who is also the handsomest man she’s ever seen. But the princeling has secrets of his own, which explode into Mulan’s life and shake up everything she knows. As they cross the Great Wall to face the enemy beyond, Mulan and the princeling must find a way to unwind their past, unmask a traitor, and uncover the plans for the Rouran invasion . . . before it’s too late.

Inspired by wuxia martial-arts dramas as well as the centuries-old ballad of Mulan, The Magnolia Sword is perfect for fans of Renee Ahdieh, Marie Lu, or Kristin Cashore–a thrilling, romantic, and sharp-edged novel that lives up to its beloved heroine.

Frankly in Love by David Yoon G.P. Putnam’s Sons Books for Young Readers

High school senior Frank Li is a Limbo–his term for Korean-American kids who find themselves caught between their parents’ traditional expectations and their own Southern California upbringing. His parents have one rule when it comes to romance–“Date Korean”–which proves complicated when Frank falls for Brit Means, who is smart, beautiful–and white. Fellow Limbo Joy Song is in a similar predicament, and so they make a pact: they’ll pretend to date each other in order to gain their freedom. Frank thinks it’s the perfect plan, but in the end, Frank and Joy’s fake-dating maneuver leaves him wondering if he ever really understood love–or himself–at all.

How to Be Remy Cameron by Julian Winters Duet

Everyone on campus knows Remy Cameron. He’s the out-and-gay, super-likable guy that people admire for his confidence. The only person who may not know Remy that well is Remy himself. So when he is assigned to write an essay describing himself, he goes on a journey to reconcile the labels that people have attached to him, and get to know the real Remy Cameron.

The Other Side: Stories of Central American Teen Refugees Who Dream of Crossing the Border by Juan Pablo Villalobos, Rosalind Harvey (Translator) Farrar, Straus and Giroux

Award-winning Mexican author Juan Pablo Villalobos explores illegal immigration with this emotionally raw and timely nonfiction book about ten Central American teens and their journeys to the United States.

You can’t really tell what time it is when you’re in the freezer.

Every year, thousands of migrant children and teens cross the U.S.-Mexico border. The journey is treacherous and sometimes deadly, but worth the risk for migrants who are escaping gang violence and poverty in their home countries. And for those refugees who do succeed? They face an immigration process that is as winding and multi-tiered as the journey that brought them here.

In this book, award-winning Mexican author Juan Pablo Villalobos strings together the diverse experiences of eleven real migrant teenagers, offering readers a beginning road map to issues facing the region. These timely accounts of courage, sacrifice, and survival—including two fourteen-year-old girls forming a tenuous friendship as they wait in a frigid holding cell, a boy in Chicago beginning to craft his future while piecing together his past in El Salvador, and cousins learning to lift each other up through angry waters—offer a rare and invaluable window into the U.S.–Central American refugee crisis.

In turns optimistic and heartbreaking, The Other Side balances the boundless hope at the center of immigration with the weight of its risks and repercussions. Here is a necessary read for young people on both sides of the issue.

— Cover images and summaries via Goodreads

[cmyknoise]

Early 1900′s Sanders Sides AU

Okay so, this is kinda weird. Honestly it pretty much stemmed from Patton’s clothing choice, and also that if you look up 1950′s dad, a lot of the formal looking ones look like they could be something Logan would wear. 

I am pretty sure a lot of this isn’t exactly historically accurate. I tried with the time periods and dates, but I’m not all sure what’ll be accurate and what wont be. Honestly it’s for fun....and angst....and an excuse to make Logicality 1950′s dads, as well as Virgil being around when rock and roll and the whole bad/punk movement first rolls in, the coming of Elvis, ect. Also Prinxiety, they’d be young adults with the first LGBTQ+ movements ever so....yeah? This is just for fun, so apologies if things aren’t horribly accurate. I don’t mean to be disrespectful at all with this. If I got things wrong, please correct me and I’ll try and fix it! 

 Feel free to add on! 

!! 1950's AU Thing !!

-Patton grew up with an absent father- not that he had the choice. His father was always drafted to the wars of the time. -Patton was born in 1921. His father survived WWI, came back, woohooed with mom, and they had Patton. -Due to all of the wars and only living with his mother and twin brother (deceit, my name for him is Delyn), they weren't very rich. Patton stopped going to school at the age of 13 (this is in 1934) to help support their family. He was a newspaper boy, did chores, and for a short while factory work. -His education was limited, he doesn't know how to read much above 5/6th grade level, and he can't do math. -Found out he was gay in 1936. Being raided in a early Christian home he was ashamed and didn't dare come out. He found out when a cute older boy pulled him aside after factory hours and they kinda kissed, a lot (not much more than make-outs happened.) That said kid got drafted two weeks later for military, never saw him again. -He lived through several wars. America went into WWII, when he was just 20. -His father was drafted, and died soon after. -He meets 20 year old Logan out in the streets. It was nighttime, and there were major war threats. Patton had went out on a grocery run, Logan was exiting a bookstore. One of the first bomb threats happened while they were out. Patton and Logan both saw each other on the streets, complete strangers. Patton was close to home so he drug Logan on with him to their bomb shelter. Nothing ended up happening, false alarm, but he and Logan were pretty inseparable. since -Patton was drafted in 1943 to go over seas. He was unable to stay for long due to a major head injury, and also the fact that his sexuality was found out. He luckily healed pretty fine, it did worsen his eyesight and balance. He returned and much of the town he was from knew he was gay. He dealt with slander and names, but he was home and that’s all he could care about.

-Logan wasn't drafted because he has a few medical problems. -Logan had grown up on a farm and did heavy work from a young age. He has a fucked up back, and horrible eyesight. -He ran away and was put in an orphanage from the age of 10-17. During that time he worked in factories. -He ran away because he wanted an education. The nice orphanage lady offered to teach him to read. He's pretty fluent and knows a lot pertaining to science.

-Logan told Patton in private that he too was gay shortly after Patton came out to the town. Patton helped him keep a secret. -They moved into a house in the suburbs together shortly after, still in their early 20's. No one knew for sure that Logan was gay, so he was the one to go out and get what they needed, work, etc.  -They can't get married, especially publicly. But, they know. -Can't adopt kids either, even though Patton desperately wants a family.

-Logan gets them a cat and they name him Thomas ( ;) ) -Good news though (I mean, not really /good/) Logan's sister (he has a sister-) had a kid a year before -She ended up passing away, and Logan was first to get custody of the kid, Virgil (at this point he's only 1, Logan and Patton are both 24, it's 1945) -Technically, they got to keep him :))

-Bad news, they are still constantly under the threat of bombs  -Threats get worse with introduction of atomic and nuclear bombs -One of the worst happens in 1947. Virgil is 3, and Logan and Patton are 26 -Think of the beginning scene of Narnia where there's heavy gunfire, planes, etc -They were in the bomb shelter for days, Logan and Patton both practically clinging to their 'son', fearing for their lives -They manage to survive. -WWII ends, so fear slowly dies down, but it's always there, especially after America enters the Korean war and Cold war in later years

-Virgil is 5 in 1950, Logan and Patton are 29. -He goes to school. He's instantly one of the 'delinquent kids'. Oof one of the first punks at only 5. -Logan and Patton love him dear, and happily raise him, and vow to protect him at any cost.

-Logan is still in the closet about being in love with Patton. The only ones who know are Patton and Virgil. -Virgil doesn't talk much at school, but he does a lot at home. -Virgil calls Logan a bunch of names. 'Ma' 'Mama' 'Lo' -He calls Patton 'Dad' and other fatherly names.

-Virgil really likes the first comings of rock and roll. -When he turns 8/9, oh boy, it's all over for the 'squares; in school. Instant fan of Elvis -Manages to catch a certain boy's eyes.

-This boy is Roman Prince

-Roman has one mom and mom’s best friend (at least to the public. he’s got two moms. one is his birth mom, the other is her gf/wife)

-He understands the situation of ‘Don’t tell anyone about my parents’ when he finds out about Virgil’s dads

-They’re best buds literally all throughout elementary school, middle school, and highschool

-Boy do these guys not separate. Ever. 

-Roman becomes a local singer/performer. Virgil writes some of his songs. 

-Both were 25 when the first LGBT movements came around, and they sure as hell took part in all they could. 

-Cough cough

-You bet your ass that Patton and Logan got married when it became legal- even though they’d be in their mid 90′s. 

[lilrooroo]

Au were The sides are all cousins of thomas and they visit for family reunion.

So first lets get the fam down

Patton Sanders

28 years old

Patton is Thomas “Uncle” the younger half brother to his mother. Thomas’ mother dad remarried after his daughter went to college

Patton was born a year after Thomas,

Loves treating Thomas like a Nephew and making jokes about it. Ever since they were kids.

Logan is his younger twin brother

Both Patton and Logan grew up fast due to having to basically raised themselves.

Their father died when they were 2 and their mother suffered bad depression. Their mother ended up dying when they were 13 and they moved in with Thomas’ family

Patton and Logan ended up taking care of their mother more than she took care of them when she was alive due to her depression just being too much

Still lives with Logan

He has a job as a preschool teacher. Adores caring for children.

Knows his brother regresses and will be his caretaker.

Regresses himself to get a taste of what they missed out on.

His little age is 3 - 4 (Kind of like the his students)

When little calls Caretaker Logan Big Bwo, if Logan is also little will just call him Bwo Bwo

Will call Little Logan Log / Login (Logan loves it)

Logan Sanders

28 years old

Logan is Thomas’ “Uncle”

Like his brother Logan doesn’t let Thomas live it down. Mostly just uses it as an excuse to claim respect. Despite being a year younger

Patton is Logan’s older twin brother by 6 minutes

Grew up emotionally detach due to growing up with a depressed mother who couldn’t take care of herself for 11 years before moving in with Thomas’ family

Sometimes hates emotions and tries to logic his feelings away, because they just hold you back

Hates it when people don’t keep proper care of themselves. Will scold people who don’t get enough sleep or don’t drink enough

Still lives with Patton

He became a high school science teacher. Loves it, and cares for his students

Will literally send a kid to the nurse to get some sleep if they pulled an all nighter, but will give them detention in which they will be able to retake a test or do the work form class

Learned about regression first and started it secretly, Patton found one of his work books

Patton didn’t get angry but rather wanted to try it too (and offered to take care of Lil Logan)

Logan was over the moon and loved the idea of his twin being his playmate and caretaker. Offered to take care of Patton when he was little if Logan wasn’t

His little age is 3 - 4

When little calls Caretaker Patton Big Budder if Patton is also little will call him just Budder

Will call Little Patton Patty Cake

Virgil Moonly

26 years old

Cousin of Thomas

Raised by a single parent, Remy Moonly. His mom died giving birth

His dad worked a lot of jobs and always tired due to it

Like father like son both are addicted to coffee

Never left his emo phase, but will beat you up if you call him emo

Suffers bad Social Anxiety

Even going to family reunions stress him out

Grew up in the same neighborhood as Thomas

Always was in awe by Thomas and Patton (Those are his two favorite family members)

Spent a lot of time at Thomas’ house due to his dad being busy with work

Despite how many jobs he had, would always take time off to see Virgil in plays (Despite the fact he was just a techie and never on stage. Because his work was very important!)

Had to take time off from works a lot because schools would end up calling him a lot for meetings to discuss Virgil’s behavior

Still lives with Remy, but now helps with the bills so Remy only has one job (He’s a bartender)

Virgil is an amazing coffee barista and his dad is just so proud because now he can ask Virgil to make all the complex coffees

Regresses to cope with his anxiety, his dad knows about it completely fine with it and even takes care of him.

His little age is 2-4

Deceit Picani

25 years old

Adopted Cousin of Thomas

Adopted son of Emile Picani

Has been part of the family since he was 10.

Only Emile knows his birth name, They changed it when they changed his last name to Picani, Emile wasn’t sure about the named, but caved into his new son’s request

Was abused by his birth family resulting in bad burns on his body and a fake eye (he has a yellow eye)

Has tattooed over his scars to look like a snake now

Doesn’t talk about his past with anyone but his Pops. 

Lies about his scars and eyes to everyone. Has a million stories about them, none of it true. 

Deceit is a tattoo artist and that’s how he met his boyfriend

Doesn’t care Roman doesn’t like being sexual accepts Roman for who he is, and is Roo’s “Dadee” when he’s regressed

Calls Roman his Fairy Princess (Little or big)

He brought his boyfriend to the family reunion his Pops was forcing him to go to 

Roman Fae

21 years old

Deceit’s boyfriend, been dating for 2 years

Ran away / kicked out from home at the age of 15 because he was gay and a crossdresser

Legally changed his last name at the age of 18

Comes from an abusive rich family

Involuntary regressor since he was 14

Met Deceit when he saved up enough money to get fairy wing tattoos.

Fell madly in love with Deceit the moment he saw him

When Deceit asked him out Roman blurted out “I’m a guy” Afraid he thought Roman was a female (He had tried dating before and got rejected when they found out he was a male)

Deceit was just like “Yea and I’m gay”

While he’s uncomfortable with sexual things, Deceit was utterly okay with this.

Roman works at a toy store and loves his work

Calls Deceit his Dragon Knight

Was afraid of Deceit finding out about his regressing at first. But, when he did finally regress in front of him, Deceit just took care of him

They had a long talk and Dee told Roman he wanted to be his everything, His boyfriend his daddy his protector his everything. Roman cried of happiness

His little age is 1-2 years old

Very nervous about the family reunion and thinks everyone will hate him

Thomas and the others get all the gang gets here early and they are being friendly and stuff. While they are getting comfortable Thomas finds a light blue pacifier. Now all the sides are worried that it’s their pacifier. Because no one can tell and they all thinks (besides the twins who know about each other) it’s their pacifier and are freaking out.

I didn’t think I would like this AU so much

[maladaptive-dreamer]

Here are some cool paras!

Yay para-talk!  [Little warning: English isn’t my mother tongue and I also never really trained it so whatever it will be absolutely awful and embarrassing but I hope you can deal with that!]

[Little A/N warning: TRIGGER WARNING IN SEVERAL AREAS.]

 - Self-harm

 - Sexual assault

 - Drug abuse

Asher Winter - Born as Shlomo Winter is a 22-year-old student (studies business administration) who currently lives in Vienna. He shares a flat with his boyfriend Emil and the siblings Moira and Jasille whom they keep calling Rommel (for some reason which I freekin dunno) or Vanilla (since Asher and Emil are into BDSM + Asher also enjoys pup play a lot and Jasille isn’t into kinky stuff at all). Emil isn’t his only boyfriend since the couple is polyamorous. Money is always a huge problem since none of them get help by their family’s (Asher left his family by the age of 18 without ever telling them where he went, Emil can’t stand his rich and patronizing parents, Moira doesn’t get any money either because of her huge drug problem and Jasille is able to earn money himself since he’s working on becoming a musical star and does a pretty good job with that but he rarely shares his money cause in his opinion the others have to get themselves together) and are mostly ‘not working’ themselves (Asher has some pretty bad payed jobs, Emil tries his luck as street musician and Moira can’t work since she got huge mental problems after she got raped by her very own boyfriend. This trauma also led to her drug addiction). Asher is something like the 'mother of the commune’ who tries to take care of everyone. He’s known for being a little bit weird because all of his plants and also the kitchen appliances for example got names (he has the tendency to overact if someone forgets a name) and also he’s got huge problems with concentration. The explanation for him being unable to focus for 'longer’ time spans is that he’s a maladaptive daydreamer himself. One of the reasons why he left his family was in fact that they became too concerned and he felt like he’d have to leave to 'safe’ his daydreams. He mostly doesn’t recognize that his disorder has taken over his life and is also able to use his fantasy for writing since it’s his goal to become an author (which he somehow already reached since he was able to sell two of his books already but they are pretty unknown). Other characteristics are his love for platonic body contact (he’s always cuddling with/hugging someone, running his Hand through their hair etc.), his heterochromia (his eyes are ¾ bluegrey but half of his right eye is dark brown) and his calm and somewhat 'slow’ nature (him being 'slow’ is a lil connection with the village he came from since there are many jokes about how the people from there use to be dumb + slow talking etc. which isn’t true about Asher but he never causes drama so whatever). Most people also wouldn’t see him as a Dom - just as they don’t think of Emil as a Sub. Both partners are polyamorous demisexuals and are a couple since about one year or may a few months more. Anthony Bishop - Dis boi needs therapy. Born as the oldest son of a Redneck family, Anthony is pretty conservative for an 18-year-old. Also he’s mentally ill and diagnosed with major depression, insomnia, pica-syndrome (eating non-nutritive substances such as plastic, nails, cigarettes and even dirt) and also used to experience psychotic symptoms. He’s pretty autoaggressive (mostly visible through cutting himself) and his psychotherapist also thinks that he’s got a personality disorder which combines antisocial and borderline symptoms. Anthony rarely has any interests except Gore and also got a Gore blog himself on which he uploads pictures and Videos oh him torturing and killing animals which sceletons he also collects. He’s pretty aware that he’s mentally ill and also that he may die cause of his destructive behavior but he doesn't really care and also plans on killing himself a lot even if he lately found some friends and spends lots of time with them, finally learning to socialize. It also seems like Anthony will have even more problems in the future cause of his romantic/sexual orientation. He isn’t 100% sure yet but even if he’s heterosexual he’s definitely not heteroromantic which is a huge deal since he’s homophobic himself - just like his whole family. His opinion on LGBT* changed a little after becoming friends with a gay jewish dude called Yves Honigblum and a bisexual boy named Oliver Coleman but it will still turn his word upside down when finding out that he’s romantically attracted to guys only. Janosch - Also called Kurosch sometimes was part of a whole other universe somewhere in the near/not so near future. He was a 27-31 year-old rebel who fought a dictatorship together with his 'mother’ (an ex-doctor who saved his life by the age of 12-13 years and became an outlaw after she got caught stealing medicine for the poor) and her followers. He got executed shortly before the Situation escalated and the rebels won the war. Even if he went through lots of terrible things (suffered any kind of abuse from an early age, had to work as a child-prostitute etc.) he grew up to be an energetic and lovely dude who never lost his spirit. His special talent was hacking both, machines and humans which was the main reason why he became the 'leader’ of a small group within the rebel formation. His team consisted of a female gun-fetishist. a mostly mute genius, the genius’ caretaker/a moral supporter and a bomb specialist who lost his mind after Janoschs death and got killed also after committing a few terroristic attacks against the military. Even if the rebels mostly supported a somewhat communist system Janosch himself was an anarchist who just accepted leaders for the period of striking down the dictatorship. It would have been pretty interesting to see him after the war but the revolution devours all it’s children and Janosch - even if he was a kind and loyal soul - wasn’t born to live in a good world. He was there to fight and also Change something but not to get what he deserved. [So this are three of my paras, even if one of them is dead already I thought it would be interesting to read about 100% different ones. If you want more information about them, just tell me. I love to talk about my paras and their experiences/lives/stories.]

[One last A/N: “My English will be absolutely awful” aaaand cue perfect English :) I cannot describe how thrilled receiving this submission made me!! Thank you so much for deciding to share your paras :) It’s funny, Asher is my younger brother’s name...so that was a bit weird, but that plot sounds SO INTERESTING so it was all good. Honestly, I would read the hell out of that book/watch the hell out of that movie with any of these plotlines. I hope this bolsters the courage of the rest of you - send in your paras!!]

[shoelace-and-friends]

Dream Daddy dadcanons/predictions

…I know I’m kinda trash for coming up with headcanons and predictions before the game is even out, but…It’s too late for me my dude. After seeing the character designs, I just GOTTA.

Brian (bear dad): The most dad of all the dads. A goof who makes dad jokes. Big and buff, but with a bit of tum. Likes camping, football, barbecuing, and the great outdoors! Been single for a while and is looking for love, and he is a VERY loveable guy. He’ll smother you with affection, hugging you into his big bara tiddies. Has 3 or 4 kids of varying ages, male and female (Maybe 5,8, and 11?) who all live with him. Might’ve had a wife for a while before realizing that he’s gay. He’s fully embraced the “bear” title and the gay community ever since though. Lives in a fairly good-sized two-story house with a pool. Pool parties are frequent and always a good time. He’s in his mid-late 30s.

Hugo (Scholar/teacher dad): He’s REALLY smart, and a college professor (Maybe teaches law or medicine). He has a doctorate, and is fairly well-off. Divorced his ex-wife quite some time ago. He’s a really sweet guy. He has a daughter who is probably like 10-13 years old, and she’s just as smart and excellent as her dad is.  His job allows him and his daughter to live in a nice two-story home. He is quietly starting to explore his sexuality, and can be considered as bicurious. Not many people know about this though- he’s sort of afraid of what his students/colleagues might think, and that his daughter might get teased if someone found out about him liking men. He’s in his late 30s/early 40s (looking damn good for his age).

Mat (Cool dad): Idk why, but he gives me “main dad” vibes. Bi, runs a cafe. Probably the most popular. He met the kid’s mom in high school and the kids were born in their college days. They raised them together for a couple years. He and the kids’ mom are no longer together, but they still get along okay and split custody. He lives in a ranch house, just big enough for him and his kids. He’s got a boy and a girl who are both around 5 or 6. His kids are his world and he enjoys playing superheroes and catch with his son, and having tea parties with his daughter and braiding her hair. He wants his kids to have the best he can give them, because he didn’t have much himself growing up. He’s very into music (rock, hip-hop, pop, all of it) and plays guitar. He seems to attract a lot of potential suitors, both male and female, so you have some competition. He’s in his late 20s/early 30s.

Damien (Vampire/goth dad): Yes, he’s actually a vampire. Because of that, he’s the oldest dad in the game. But he looks pretty young. He lives in a big, black, old, victorian-style mansion at the end of the road, that stands out from the rest of the houses in the neighborhood. He tries to keep his vampirism a secret, but rumors are already spreading through the neighborhood because of his strange nature. He wears black almost exclusively, and seems really into gothic and morbid/creepy things. Think the Addams family. Not quite sure if that wine glass is filled with wine or blood. He has a brooding, goth teenage-looking daughter, two twin boys who look about 6 who are always together and eerily quiet, and a four-year old-looking girl who inexplicably likes the color pink and is very girly. He doesn’t understand her, but loves her anyway.  He’s still trying to get over the death of his (very) late wife. His age is indefinite.

Craig (Young sporty dad): He is the youngest dad in the game.  He’s a college student. He had a drunken one-night stand which ended in him getting the girl pregnant- and him becoming a father. The mother is unfortunately out of the picture (perhaps she’s an addict and deemed unfit to raise a child). Craig took it upon him to raise their baby himself- all while trying to complete college.  He’s struggling and barely knows the first thing about raising a baby, but he’s learning. It’s very hard to balance his schoolwork and his parenting though. His parents are helping out financially, but he’s still trying to not completely rely on them, which is what makes it more difficult.  He’s an athlete who has sports commitments, but he’s afraid he might have to give those up. He lives in the smallest house in the neighborhood that his parents are paying for, in order for him to have a proper place to raise a baby that’s close to campus. The other dads give him advice at times- especially Hugo, who is one of his professors.  He’s struggling- but he’s REALLY trying. He may or may not also be closeted or questioning his sexuality. He’s only 20 or 21 years old.

Joseph (Rich dad): Yeah, he’s rich. Living off a family fortune, his ex-wife left him after finding out that he had been sleeping with men behind her back. He has no regrets about it though, and has now finally came out. He loves to party and live the good life, spending a lot of time yachting and hosting “backyard bash” parties, which he often invites the other dads to. He has a bit of a rivalry/enemy relationship with Vampire dad though- who wouldn’t want to go to his parties anyway. He lives in a huge gated mansion, which is the biggest home in the neighborhood. He’s just a bit high-strung and high-maintenance, but not a bad guy.  Overall lives life like it’s a party and enjoys it to it’s fullest. He’s just a bit effeminate and tbh acts the most “stereotypically gay” of all of them. He has a 6 year-old daughter that he spoils the hell out of- and he’ll spoil the hell out of you too, if you play your cards right. He is in his early-mid 30s.

Robert (bad boy dad):  He spends his time off work riding his motorcycle and hanging out at bars, fucking, partying, and sometimes getting into fights. He has a “I don’t give a fuck, don’t fuck with me” attitude.  He was very wild and rebellious in his youth, having many flings with both men and women. In high school, he managed to seduce the prim and proper student body president, getting her pregnant. However, as basically a super woman, she not only finished both high school AND college graduating as the valedictorian and getting a very successful business career- but she also nearly-singlehandedly raised their daughter as well. Given how opposite they are, his relationship with the mother did not end well had always been…just a little hostile. But while she’s lived a life of success, HE on the other hand, still struggles to this day to slow down, get ahold of himself, and realize that he’s not young anymore and the way he carelessly breezes through life doing whatever he wants and not giving a fuck just doesn’t cut it anymore. This especially hits him now that he’s older- and his wife has dropped off his now teenage daughter, expecting him to take care of her while she’s off on a business trip for an indefinite amount of time. His relationship with his daughter is very strained- she lived with her mother her whole life, …while he wasn’t really there for her that often. In his  storyline,  you teach him how to settle down, appreciate life slowly, be more responsible, become a better dad- …and how to be a lover. He’s in his early-mid 30s.

I wanna look back on this once it’s out and see how wrong or right I am. 

[aion-rsa]

The Weird History of Nightmare on Elm Street Comics

https://ift.tt/2BNWUsq

Watch Freddy Krueger kill his way through several different companies in our weird history of Nightmare on Elm Street comics.

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As a concept, the A Nightmare on Elm Street franchise is something I both love and hate at the same time. On one hand, it’s a killer idea with a charismatic villain, awesome set pieces, dark humor, and over-the-top violence. On the other hand, it’s a completely broken idea. The fact that it’s a franchise makes it completely hollow. As great a villain as Freddy can be – and it says a lot that a child murderer was somehow celebrated as an '80s icon – he inherently breaks the story.

Freddy Krueger has what I’d call, for the lack of a better term, “bullshit invulnerability.” See, every Nightmare on Elm Street movie is based on the idea of him being this unstoppable boogeyman that our cast has to survive. The heroes of each story have to struggle to stop him in some way and destroy him. But you can’t destroy him because then how can you do a sequel? So it’s pointless. They’ll come up with some crazy way to stop him, do it, then the final scene will say, “Whoops, that didn’t work, I guess! See you next year!”

Freddy is so ill-defined and relentless that even the first movie is kind of ruined by the final minutes. When I decided to read through every Elm Street comic book, I knew it had that nagging, jagged puzzle piece in the way of giving us actual decent storytelling. But there are still a lot of interesting ideas thrown around in all the various publishers where Freddy had called home.

Much like his rival Jason Voorhees (who has his own weird history on the printed page, which we explored here), Freddy was sort of late to the party when it came to comics. By the time Marvel got the chance to make Nightmare on Elm Street comics in 1989, they were in the middle of releasing A Nightmare on Elm Street 5: The Dream Child. So Freddymania was in full swing.

Freddy Krueger’s A Nightmare on Elm Street lasted only two issues, released as black and white, magazine-sized comics. The great Steve Gerber (co-creator of Howard the Duck, among others) wrote it while Rich Buckler and Tony DeZuniga took care of the art. It’s a good-looking book and darker than you’d usually find in late-80s Marvel. Too dark, actually. The book was selling really well, but there were enough complaints from angry parents to shut it down, robbing us of a Peter David-penned Freddy story.

Rather than focus on a group of teenagers, it focuses mainly on two people. Allison is a girl who, like many children, is being haunted by Freddy every time she sleeps. The story begins with her body being found in critical condition with her parents being blamed for the crime. She’s still able to put up enough of a fight against Freddy to not die and it becomes apparent that Freddy’s interest in her is more than just another piece of meat to torture. There’s something special about her.

read more: Marvel's 31 Best Monsters

Enter Dr. Juliann Quinn, a woman who has been studying Freddy as well as how to control your dreams so you can better evade him. She comes to help Allison and discovers that years ago, Allison stumbled onto the same ability to enter the dreams of others like Freddy did. That’s why Freddy is after her: he sees Allison as a threat.

The thing that sticks out to me is how much fun it has with the lore when the movies themselves haven’t fleshed them out all that much by this point outside of the stuff about his mother. Remember, this came out before Freddy’s Dead, which spelled out Freddy’s backstory and how he came into power. Freddy Krueger’s A Nightmare on Elm Street is Steve Gerber’s vision on how Freddy came to be and while it isn’t too different, it’s certainly better written.

There are two things that really make it great. First is the fact that the magic of his abilities isn’t quite explained, but there’s just enough for us to understand without ruining the mystique. Second, for a comic that came out only a short while after Watchmen, it’s easy to see similarity between Freddy’s upbringing and Rorschach’s. It almost spells it out that Freddy is what would’ve happened if Rorschach’s experiences led to him becoming the dog-owning child-killer that drove him off the deep end instead of a crazed vigilante.

There’s also a bit that suggests that Freddy isn’t alone. There’s a whole community of freakish dream demons, only Freddy appears to be the most evil and proactive among them.

read more: 13 Essential Horror Comics

The Marvel Elm Street run is enough of a story to stand on its own, but it does leave you wanting more based on how abrupt the ending is.

In 1991, the publisher Innovation took on the franchise and released a short-lived ongoing and two miniseries, all written by Andy Mangels. Nightmares on Elm Street (now that I think of it, they should’ve gone to plural with the title years ago) lasted for six issues with two story arcs. The first of which has art by Tony Harris, which is at times stunning.

It has to do with Cybil, a woman who studies Jack the Ripper and has been having nightmares about a guy who’s similar to Jack but with a burned face. One of the dreams also leads to her stumbling across the house of her old college roommates Nancy Thompson. She investigates and discovers that Nancy’s died years ago. She gets in touch with her other roommate Priscilla (whose entire panel-time in the comic is about reminding us how gay she is) and A Nightmare on Elm Street 3: The Dream Warriors survivor Neil Gordon. Soon it’s discovered that although Nancy died, she was reborn as kind of the Anti-Freddy. If Freddy is a dream demon, then she’s a dream angel, only she’s too young and inexperienced to stand up to him.

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The highlight is Freddy killing Cybil’s husband with a printing press. As the guy gets chopped up from falling into the machinery, it spits out bloody newspapers with his death as the headline.

But like I said, some stuff doesn’t work. Being an Elm Street story, we need people to fall asleep for the sake of moving the plot along. That leads to a moment where Cybil’s on the phone, sitting on the couch, and she ends up standing up so fast that she passes out and enters the Dream World by accident. Um...sure, I guess.

Then there’s the twist ending, which is complete nonsense. More than your usual Elm Street ending. It’s this scene that’s supposed to be shocking and clever, but all I can do is scratch my head and wonder, “Wait, what?”

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The remainder of the series is penciled by Patrick Rolo and decides to play with the cast of the old movies some more. It’s five years after the events of A Nightmare on Elm Street 5: The Dream Child and survivor Alice and her son Jacob revisit Springwood to meet up with fellow survivor Yvonne because of the recent death of Alice’s father. With Jacob – who can read minds – being around, Freddy tries to butter him up and convince him to help him out. Also involved is Neil Gordon, reduced to a coma due to the previous story arc.

There’s a wild card introduced who brings some life into an otherwise lifeless cast named Devonne. She is basically Freddy’s agent in the waking world, helping him out of desperation. When she was a child, she burned down her home to kill her abusive father, but her mother died as well and Devonne’s been broken since. Not only is the incident the only thing she dreams of, but when she talks to people in real life, all she sees is them as skinless, much like how she last saw her mother. She figures that if she kills people for Freddy, Freddy will grant her at least one night of peaceful dreaming.

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But we know better.

Freddy ultimately wants to take over Jacob’s body so he can exist in the real world and while the plot is kind of weak at points, Mangels does scratch the surface of what’s a really intriguing idea that finally gives Freddy some much-needed stakes.

While the comic barely goes into it, Mangels suggests Freddy’s logical conclusion as a monster and how his reign of terror is his own undoing. Mangels establishes that Freddy’s nightmare rampages are localized to Springwood and only Springwood. He has no other jurisdiction. If he kills enough people and enough people move away, what does that mean for him? Granted, Freddy’s Dead kind of sidesteps this whole idea, but it has enough pepper to it that it’ll get used down the line in future incarnations of Freddy comics.

In an exercise in doing as many callbacks to the previous movies as possible, it’s also established that all of Freddy’s victims are stuck in his world as tortured souls unable to escape into the true afterlife. This allows appearances from the likes of the Dream Warriors, Nancy’s cop father, and Jacob’s father Dan, but even if they’re all good people, they’re still desperate to escape Freddy’s eternal torment and will do just about anything to help him.

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The whole thing just barely holds together and the ending is also really weird. It’s an actual happy ending, but even for an Elm Street plot device, it’s really odd.

Mangels would then do the adaptation for Freddy’s Dead: The Final Nightmare with art by Mike Witherby and Robb Phipps. Shockingly, it’s the only Elm Street movie to get its own comic. I’ll admit, it’s been a long time since I’ve seen the movie, but I don’t remember there being any big differences. Well, except one thing.

The movies around this time got hit hard by the MPAA and had to cut out a lot of gore to pass muster. This is a comic from a company that gives no damns about the Comics Code Authority. So you don’t have to worry about censorship here. When Freddy makes the deaf kid’s head explode, it isn’t just a balloon popping. It’s a goddamn exploding head!

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Cool thing about the three-issue mini is that there are two versions of the final issue. To go with the movie’s gratuitous use of 3D, you could buy an issue that’s mostly in 3D...albeit without color. Still, that’s a cool gimmick.

Mangels would close out the Innovation run with A Nightmare on Elm Street: The Beginning with Dan and David Day on art. Considering they just made a big stink about Freddy being gone for reals this time (yeah, right), Mangels had to rein in the Freddy aspect. The miniseries focuses on Maggie, daughter of Freddy and hero of Freddy’s Dead. She keeps having nightmares about becoming like her father and feels the need to visit Springwood to get answers. Fellow survivor Tracy goes with her.

Storywise, not much seems to happen. It’s mostly Maggie having visions of Freddy’s origin. Seeing him kill people, watching his ill-fated trial unfold, standing helplessly as he’s lynched, etc. The only interesting part is how it goes back to young Freddy killing his foster father (Alice Cooper, you may recall) and that was some kind of sacrifice to the dream demon sperm creatures from Freddy’s Dead. Maggie and Tracy unearth the corpse and it releases some kind of magical energy that causes the house to collapse.

The second issue ends with Maggie visiting the boiler room where Freddy originally died and then vanishing. All that’s left for Tracy to find is Freddy’s hat and echoing laughter. A neat cliffhanger that simply wouldn’t be resolved.

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Innovation went out of business. Shucks. Mangels did have the script for the final issue online for a bit, but it’s long since fallen into the pits of the cyberspace abyss.

A year later, Freddy would make a minor comic appearance as Topps Comics did a three-issue take on Jason Goes to Hell: The Final Friday. Said movie is mainly remembered for the final scene that hints on the big money throwdown between horror icons.

Freddy remained quiet for over a decade. It’s not like he had much going on. New Nightmare didn’t really seem comic-friendly in its meta movie design and Freddy vs. Jason was stuck in developmental Hell. Shockingly, even when they DID get around to making the movie in 2003, there were still no comics to capitalize.

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It took Avatar Press to finally break the silence in 2005. They started with a one-shot simply called A Nightmare on Elm Street, put together by Brian Pulido and Juan Jose Ryp. Being an Avatar Press book, that means you have a lot of unsavory gore and unattractive drawings that are supposed to be attractive to look forward to. Seriously, it’s like nearly every female in an Avatar Press book has to wear high thong straps and a halter top.

Though it is neat that we have confirmation that Freddy and Leatherface apparently coexist in the same continuity. This continuity, at least.

The Avatar run goes with the status quo introduced in Freddy vs. Jason. Sort of. The local government wants to keep him under wraps so that teens won’t be terrorized by him. I thought the concept was done really well in the movie. On one hand, it worked. It actually cut Freddy off at the knees and made him too weak to do any damage whatsoever, hence the need for Jason. At the same time, there were still the moral implications of what Springwood was doing and the question of the ends justifying the means. You feel for the teens involved, but you also know that they’re doing horrific damage by unraveling the conspiracy.

It makes no sense here because Freddy is still able to do his thing. He’s just as capable of committing dream murder as ever, so there’s no point to the conspiracy. He isn’t underpowered or anything like that. He’s still offing kids, only they now have Men in Black guys on their backs to silence them. For what reason?! Their big plan isn’t doing a damn thing! There is no house of cards to knock over!

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Anyway, this one-shot is just about teens being killed while the government conspiracy is happening around them. Just nihilistic, violent, and pointless, like much of Avatar’s licensed comics.

The same creative team then did a three-issue miniseries called A Nightmare on Elm Street: Paranoid. Due to delays, it took about seven months for the whole thing to finish. The plot is a follow-up to the previous story where we get a lot of, “You can’t talk about Freddy or people will die!” while people are fucking dying regardless.

There are two parts here that are really good, though. First is how Freddy wants to spread the message that he’s out there and decides to use a kid named Mike as his megaphone to the world. Mike’s dozing off at a football game and Freddy casually meets up with him, asking for confirmation that Mike’s a hemophiliac. A confused Mike says he is, so Freddy pokes him with his finger and Mike explodes in a fountain of gore in the stands, leaving a message.

But it’s the ending that’s so close to being brilliant. The main character Claire reads up on Freddy’s so-called defeats from over the years and while nothing’s really worked in the long run, she’s inspired by the attempts to drag him into reality. Sure, making him physical and killing him hasn’t put him at a permanent end, but she knows how to use it.

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She draws him into the real world, but makes sure it’s in front of a pep rally. The entire high school is there and she and her boyfriend are armed and ready. Claire unloads on Freddy while telling everyone what a joke he ultimately is, successfully dressing him down with insults. He’s a gigantic, pathetic loser. Seeing him so vulnerable works its magic and everyone in the building is bonded in their belief that Freddy is nothing to be afraid of.

Freddy loses control of the souls he’s collected and his victims start to tear him apart. This could have been the best ending. Let me explain why with a little tangent.

Back in the early 90s, Peter Jackson had a movie screenplay for an intended sixth installment called A Nightmare on Elm Street: The Dream Lover. It was about Freddy being deemed such a worthless joke that teenagers would go to sleep for the sake of finding him in the Dream World and kicking the shit out of him for laughs. Without anyone fearing him, Freddy is in a Clockwork Orange situation where he’s at the mercy of anyone and everyone. Then he eventually regains his mojo and builds a body count to get some revenge.

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It sounds completely awesome and of course they went with Freddy’s Dead instead. Though to be fair, Freddy’s Dead was about offing him "forever" while Dream Lover was about revitalizing the franchise.

So anyway, in a better world, they would have made a comic adaptation of Dream Lover as a follow-up. This whole climax with Claire exposing Freddy in front of all the other teens would’ve been the prime setup for how he becomes a dumpy punching bag.

And instead we get the, “LOL Freddy wins!” ending. Fantastic.

On another note, Juan Jose Ryp has some issues with his art. More than the usual Avatar issues. It’s like he glossed over the script at times. During the pep rally scene, it’s mentioned multiple times that Claire and her boyfriend are armed with shotguns when they most definitely carry handguns in every panel. Or there’s this bit.

Now, I don’t want to be THAT GUY, but...does she really got back? She’s got the ass of someone who sells propane and propane accessories.

A Nightmare on Elm Street: Fearbook finishes off the Avatar Press run, brought to us by Brian Pulido and Dheeraj Verma. This one is actually a lot of fun and plays with the Freddy concept to bring us something unique and original. It even begins with a rather funny fake-out where a student falls asleep during class and the infamous Freddy song is overheard as if she's about to meet her doom.

As it turns out, things are going pretty well in Springwood. Hypnocil, the drug that prevents you from dreaming, is given out all over. Everyone is now immune to Freddy’s wrath and it’s driving him mad.

Enter a gang of thugs driving through the area, completely ignorant to Freddy's existence. They rob a drug store and things get violent fast. When it becomes a hostage situation and one of the hostages starts drugging the killers with sleeping pills, it translates into a pretty neat revenge story.

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We’re so used to the constant compassion and helpless panic in these stories that it’s outright jarring to see someone vindictively watch over a sleeping person, knowing that Freddy’s about to have his way with them.

Just as Avatar Press said goodbye to Elm Street, Wildstorm went to work with eight issues of A Nightmare on Elm Street. Chuck Dixon and Kevin West are the creative team for the series, though Joel Gomez fills in on the art in the fourth issue.

The first three issues is a story called “Freddy’s War,” about a girl named Jade. She and her family just moved in to Springwood after years of constantly moving due to her father’s military status. We quickly jump in to action as her brother is killed and Jade knows she’s next. In a breath of fresh air, her open-minded father is totally willing to hear her out on this whole dream demon situation. It’s honestly refreshing to see a parent in a horror story seeing his daughter suddenly waking up with bloody claw marks on her back and going, “I am totally willing to believe whatever you’re about to tell me.”

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There’s also a subplot about one of those creepy little girls who always shows up in the protagonists’ dreams. For once, we get an actual explanation instead of her just being a random construct created by Freddy for the sake of being spooky. Being that this is Chuck Dixon, we get a climax based on Jade’s dad using his military weapons and training in the Dream World to fight Freddy, but come on. We know how much good that’ll do in the long run.

At least the follow-up issue tortures Freddy a bit. That little girl is able to do as she pleases in the Dream World and Freddy appears to be powerless to cut her up. Finding out that she’s going to be moving away soon, he gets increasingly desperate to end her before it’s too late.

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Then there’s a three-issue story called “The Demon of Sleep.” This one’s pretty cool. A group of geeks are being targeted by Freddy and one does some research and discovers an Aztec deity known for protecting people from bad dreams. He gets a talisman and comes up with a plot to summon the god to take care of Freddy.

Much like Freddy vs. Jason, the only thing stopping Freddy from being taken out for good is morality. To put the god at its full strength, they need to do a sacrifice. The ringleader opts to sacrifice the local jock bully, but the others aren’t really sure if they can go through with it. It all ultimately leads to a dark and tragic ending where hopes are dashed.

The final issue is a tale of a guy working at a local fast food place who stumbles upon the dreams of others being killed by Freddy. His dreams are so traumatizing that he’s in a constant, dazed state of work and fantasy, unable to tell the difference.

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A couple months later, Wildstorm released a one-shot called New Line Cinema’s Tales of Horror. It featured a short Texas Chainsaw Massacre story followed by an Elm Street story. The short story “Copycat” is by Christos Gage and Stefano Raffaele and it’s great.

Freddy is annoyed when one of his victims awakens only to have some fat dork dressed in a striped sweater kill her instead. Freddy discovers it’s this guy named Otis, a sociopath that Freddy passed over during Otis’ teenage years because Freddy thought him too pathetic and that death would be doing him a favor. Years later, he’s a total Freddy fanboy and wants in on the action as Freddy’s sidekick.

Freddy’s not interested, but his hands are tied. Remember during the Innovation run where I talked about how Freddy’s only vulnerability is an empty plate? Gage embraces the idea. Freddy needs to be discrete to do his twisted work. If his existence is public knowledge, then Springwood will simply empty out and he’ll be out of a hobby. Otis knows that and blackmails him so that if Otis is killed or Freddy refuses his help, tons of evidence will be emailed to the media.

To deal with this problem, Freddy stumbles upon another fanboy. It’s simply wonderful because the very idea of people idolizing him takes Freddy out of his comfort zone and even he finds this completely absurd.

The ending ties things up nicely and there’s a funny aside about a teenager on meth that Freddy considers a threat. Track this one down. It’s easily the best Freddy comic.

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Then in 2008, Wildstorm and Dynamite teamed up to give us Freddy vs. Jason vs. Ash, a six-issue miniseries based on the unused screenplay for a suggested sequel to Freddy vs. Jason. Coincidentally, Bruce Campbell always thought such a movie was ridiculous because he believed nobody in their right mind had any interest in seeing his aging ass reprise the role of Ash Williams.

And now, of course, Mr. Campbell knows better.

Freddy vs. Jason vs. Ash was written by Jeff Katz and James Anthony while drawn by Jason Craig and...*sigh*

Okay, listen, folks. I’ve been writing for Den of Geek for years now. I’ve talked about Freddy vs. Jason vs. Ash when I did my list of ridiculous appearances by horror icons in non-movie media. I talked about it again when I did a list of comic book sequels to movies. Then yet again when I went over the history of Friday the 13th comics. I’m probably going to do an Evil Dead comics retrospective down the line and talk about it a fifth time!

Guys. I’m so tired of writing about Freddy vs. Jason vs. Ash.

Anyway, the series picks up after Freddy vs. Jason and throws Ash into the mix, out to keep the Necronomicon out of the hands of both Freddy and Jason. It’s great because for once we have a genuinely charismatic hero to cheer for. I mean, the best hero character we’ve had up to this point is, who, Nancy? Yeah, Ash is a huge step up and it helps knowing that he has plot armor, so we’re assured that at the end of the day, he’s not going to be easily snuffed out to make way for the next hapless protagonist.

The final battle between the three is kind of rad, even if the artist decided not to draw any backgrounds for most of it.

A year or so later, the creative team would follow-up with Freddy vs. Jason vs. Ash: Nightmare Warriors. While it’s a definite love letter to the three franchises and has a killer hook, it also needed a handful of rewrites and art that wasn’t rushed out the gate. The hook is that a support group is put together of people who have survived Freddy and/or Jason. It’s headed by Elm Street survivors Neil Gordon and Maggie Burroughs and includes other heroes from the various movies. Ash is invited since he’s had success against both Freddy and Jason at the same time.

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As this is going on, Freddy becomes empowered by the Necronomicon and attempts to take over the world with Jason and the Deadites on his side.

Things get completely ridiculous and not in a good way. It’s total nonsense with Maggie going evil just because, dressing slutty, and making out with her dad to drive home how suddenly evil she is. A lot of stuff just happens without explanation. But hey, we do get some random bits of nutty fanservice, like when Nancy’s ghost appears to help Neil out.

But the one cool thing about the mini is Freddy’s fate. This is the last Freddy Krueger comic and the last use of the Robert Englund incarnation of the character in any media, so this is the last word. In the end, he’s completely stripped of his powers by the ghouls living inside the Necronomicon. Reduced to a human and begging for his life, Freddy is then shot in the chest by Ash and his boomstick. Freddy’s corpse is blasted into a vortex. Then a random government agent character is also knocked into the vortex and we discover that he was the very cop back in the 60s who didn’t sign Freddy’s arrest warrant. He magically winds up back in the '60s and signs the warrant, thereby preventing Freddy’s lynching and origin.

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So in review, Freddy is completely depowered, as killed as killed can be, and then has his history as a demon murderer erased via time travel. You have to give this book credit for being thorough.

Overall, the Freddy comics aren’t going to blow you away, but there’s smatterings of brilliance and flashes of interesting ideas to be found buried in there. With the reboot movie falling flat, there’s no reason to expect another Elm Street comic for a long, long time. Maybe if the next attempt reboot works out or if another publisher wants to gamble on some more nostalgia.

But hey, at least we have Scary Terry in the Rick and Morty comic! Close enough, bitch!

Gavin Jasper thinks people should use Dokken as a weapon against Freddy Krueger more often. It worked like gangbusters the first time! Follow Gavin on Twitter.

Read and download the Den of Geek NYCC 2019 Special Edition Magazine right here!

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Feature

Movies

Gavin Jasper

Oct 26, 2019

A Nightmare On Elm Street

Freddy Krueger

steve gerber

31 Days of Horror

from Books https://ift.tt/346Szwt

[its-a-queer-thing]

The Gallavich family facing homophobia

Ian and Mickey had been married for 9, almost 10 years. Yevgeny was already 13 years old and in middle school. About five years ago they adopted a beautiful little girl from a family down the street who was ready to send her to foster care. The family named her Abigail, but Ian and Mickey called her Abbi. Now 8 years old, Ian and Mickey were ironically just discussing how seamlessly she had integrated into their family when she came bursting through the door and ran to her room slamming the door behind her. Ian looked to Mickey who was staring after her, confused.

“What the fuck was that about?” Mickey wondered. Abigail was usually a level headed child and was anything but a drama queen. This display was beyond out of character and appalling to both of her fathers.

“Should we—Should we go and ask her what's wrong?” Ian stammered. They knew this day would come when the men would have trouble delving into the feminine mind of their daughter, but they had hardly considered the enigma of the female brain would confound them when she was as young as 8 years old!

“Don't ask me, I only have one sister and I never knew what the fuck she wanted.” Mickey replied. They sat there another moment in silence, thinking. Yevgeny walked through the front door throwing his backpack to the floor and making his way to the kitchen when he caught Mickey's disapproving look. Yev deflated and walked back to his backpack to hang it where Ian had installed hooks by the door just for this purpose.

“Yevgeny, what the fuck is up with your sister?” Mickey asked as Yev rummaged through the fridge.

“Umm...” He pulled his torso out of the fridge and looked at his fathers with an uncomfortable expression. “I don't think you want to know...”

“Why? Is she okay?” Ian asked.

“Well... Yes and no.” Yev replied, ever the orator like his biological father.

“Son—” Mickey warned.

“Well, after parent-teacher night last week some kids from the bus recognized the four of us leaving the school and realized you both were our dads.”

“Yeah? Fucking and?” Mickey demanded.

“Dad, we're dealing with rich yuppy private school rejects. They are homophobic as—”

“Consider your next word, son.” Ian warned. Yev smiled and closed the fridge door, apparently having lost his appetite.

“What do you mean homophobic? They are making fun of her because of Ian and me?” Mickey asked incredulously.

“Well—yeah. I mean, kids have been giving me a hard time about it for a long time, I just ignore it.”

“Why the fuck does it matter?” Mickey wondered out loud, thoroughly enraged.

“I don't know Pop, it just does. We're poor people going to a rich school district and the rich kids wanted to get into a fancy school but weren't smart enough so they pick on whoever they can to make themselves feel better.”

“Why did you never tell us?” Ian asked Yev who shrugged.

“I just didn't really pay attention, I guess.” Yev replied.

“Yev, come here.” Mickey demanded. Yev looked nervous. Mickey was a strict father figure though never abusive. But for some reason Yev always seemed nervous around Mickey, especially when he adopted the tone. Ian suspected that Svetlana was too forthcoming when describing Mickey's past as well as Terry's parenting style which she probably thought influenced Mickey. The truth though, Ian was always blown away by the nurturing side of Mickey despite his overall strict style.

“You see people picking on your sister, you need to defend her, got it? She's not Milkovich by blood, she doesn't have that steel defense we have.”

“I'm not there all of the time, Pop.” Yev argued gently. Mickey considered this.

“Know any people who know karate? Tae-kwon-do?” Yev nods. “Ask them if they will teach your sister and if they don't seem to want to, ask what it'll take.” Yev nods again and looks to Ian.

“I'd defend her if I could—” Yev starts.

“No, it's not your fault, son.” Ian assures. “She needs to know to stand up for herself. You just keep having her back like we know you already do.” Yev nods again and exhales deeply. He looks to his biological father, looking to be excused. Mickey pats him on the shoulder and Yev sags with a grin. Ian never understood what it was about Yev that made him nervous about affection with Mickey but he always seemed happier with distant and subtle displays rather than the blatant hugs Ian tried to give him.

“I've got a thing—”

“Yeah, yeah.” Mickey rolled his eyes. “Go on.” Yev laughed and went to give Ian a pat on the shoulder to match the one he received from his father. Ian let him go and sat still, staring at Mickey.

“You know there's nothing we can do, Mick. If we bring attention to it at the school—”

“I know, I know it'll put a target on her back. Like asking for more.” Mickey rubbed his eyes and stared at the ceiling.

“Let's at least talk to her.” Ian insisted. Mickey nodded, gathered himself, and followed Ian to Abbi's door. Ian knocked in a rhythm Abbi had come up with when she was 6. 'Abbi-code' she'd called it after watching a movie with her Dad that had a reference to morse code.

“What?” Her miserable mumble echoed through the door. Ian and Mickey's eyes met, their hearts simultaneously breaking.

“May we come in, sweetheart?” Ian called. She was silent for a moment, probably considering. They heard her sniffle, and then heard footsteps as she approached the door, opening it just a crack. Ian went ahead and pushed through slowly. Mickey would have waited for the invite, but not Ian. Ian's concern was too high a priority.

“Tell us what's wrong, Abbi.” Ian requested. She leaned against the foot of her bed, eyes downcast and still sniffling. Mickey leaned against her dresser, willing to wait until she answered.

“I heard Yev tell you. You already know.” She replied after a while.

“Well, we have his side, but not why you are upset.” Ian explained. She sighed and turned to face her redheaded father. One look at him though made her lips tremble again. Ian held his arms out to her and she raced into them. He wrapped her in a hug and pulled her into his lap where she continued to cry. Mickey's fists tightened until the tips of his knuckles bleached white. He looked absolutely murderous. He and Ian made eye contact and Mickey forced himself to breathe.

“What other kids think doesn't matter, Abbi, you know that.” Mickey said as gently as he could.

“But why do they hate you two so much when they don't even know you?” She wailed. “They said I'm a freak and that you and Daddy are going to hell, and I'm going to go to hell because I'll grow up gay and... I just didn't know what to say!”

Ian hugged her tighter and let her cry. Mickey sighed and rubbed at his eyes with the tips of his fingers.

“Look, Abbi. Those people can say whatever the fuck they want about your Dad and me. It's not going to change what we have going on here. Are you happy here?” Abbi peeked up from Ian's chest and nodded. “You know you're loved and looked after?” She nodded again. “Then that's all that matters. These kids are probably just pissed about whatever is going on in their shitty lives so to make themselves feel better they pick on someone smaller and who they think is an easy target. So you know what you've gotta do?” She just stared at him. “You've gotta prove that you aren't an easy target. Yevgeny is going to get someone at school to teach you some self-defense so if anyone tries to hurt you, all you've got to do is lay 'em down.”

“Don't go starting fights,” Ian interjected, “but you can definitely finish them.” She nodded.

“But what if they say—”

“Say what? It doesn't matter.” Mickey shrugged.

“It still hurts...” Abbi replied looking at her lap. Ian sighed.

“It can hurt, sure. But you just have to remind yourself that they don't know you, they don't know us so everything they are saying is coming out of hate and ignorance. You can't fix stupid, Abbi, you can only ignore it and prove to them that their stupidity isn't going to get you down.” Ian said. Mickey nodded and crouched in front of her.

“Don't give them the satisfaction. You know we are happy, we love you, and that those people are just pissed off about something they don't understand. Just... let it roll off. But like I said, if anyone tries to physically hurt you, you lay their asses down! No child of mine is going to be a fuckin' doormat.” Mickey smiled at her, trying to get her to return the expression. Naturally, she did and she wrapped her arms around Mickey's neck. Mickey in turn wrapped his arms around her little torso and cradled her to him. He and Ian made eye contact and smiled at each other. They hated how mean kids could be, but they had known long ago that this was a possibility and had prepared to strengthen their young ones up to face the harsh realities of an unforgiving world.

“You okay now?” Ian asked, rubbing her back. She looked down.

“It still hurts, but I know you're right. I just can't stand when they say mean things about you when they don't know you.”

“It's understandable that it hurts, you just can't let it show to anyone else or they will walk all over you. If you are ever mad about it just wait until you're home and we can talk about it some more, okay?” Ian  explained. She nodded. She released her grip around Mickey's neck and gave Ian one more quick hug before settling on her bed.

“Want to come out into the living room, or do you want to be by yourself?” Mickey asked. She grinned, grabbed her backpack and settled at the dining room table.

 One of the most delightful things about their little family was how normal it was despite the circumstances. Abbi loved school and she loved working on her homework with her dads nearby to help if she had a question. Mickey was terrible at school so mostly Ian helped with schoolwork, but Mickey had developed a knack for cooking (beyond just pizza-bites and other frozen foods, mind you) and so he usually made dinner, tossing in some humor if Abbi ever got frustrated or needed a quick break. Yevgeny was usually in his room all night doing god knew what, but tonight he came out to be with his family. While Mickey cooked, Yevgeny actually shared his day with his father. Mickey was always shocked when Yev acted so attached to him because the sentiment came and went so much he could never tell how his son felt about him that day. He listened though, really listened and engaged. It was still hard for Mickey to attach to Yevgeny who was a constant reminder of that horrible day Terry walked in on him and Ian. It wasn’t fair, but there it was. He worked every day to ignore those memories and focus on the human being before him, and though it was rough he could say with certainty that he and his son had a relationship--and he was proud to say it.

Ian wished desperately they could somehow take a snapshot of this picture: Mickey cooking, Yevgeny hanging out with his father, Ian and Abbi working together on her fractions. There'd be something to show the haters: look you assholes, a loving family doing the same shit you guys do but with two men instead of only one. And look, our kids are fucking happy! Put that in your judgement pipes and smoke it! Of course that wasn't possible, but Ian was satisfied by the mental image anyway.

That night as Ian put Abbi to bed he made her promise not to ever take a negative word from a stranger to heart and to think of this night if anyone was ever getting her down.

“The truth,” he said, “will keep you afloat when people try to drown you in negativity. Just remember who we are and what we do and remember that if they don't know shit... then their opinion is irrelevant.”

Abbi considered this for a moment, grinned, and nodded.

“Okay, dad. I love you.” She said.

“I love you, too.” He replied and kissed her gently on the forehead. “Good night.” Mickey was standing at the door, watching the whole thing.

“I love you, daddy!” She called at Mickey. He smirked and crossed to her bed, kissing her lightly on the forehead right where Ian had.

“I love you too, kid.” She closed her eyes contentedly and snuggled under the covers, easing off into sleep.

Mickey had never dreamed he and Ian would have a life like this. But at moments like this he was so grateful they did. They both knew their kids would be subjected to more hatred, because that was the human way--to hate things they don’t understand. But the hatred would just make their kids stronger and feel more secure in the family they had. 

As the couple prepared for their own nighttime routine, Mickey and Ian both felt satisfied that despite the assholes, they were definitely living the life together they had never dared to dream.