#and the way i saw my younger self in them was terrifying

[nyaorin]

if you're the kind of person who gets exposed to a lot of discourse online, or if you're extremely attached to a community to the point you're neglecting real life or experiencing things like dissociation and suicidal thoughts fueled by your relationships online, please try taking at least a few months off of social media.

back when i was 14, i was super invested in tumblr discourse, to the point that i unknowingly made my mental health so bad that it was life-threatening. out of practically nowhere, i decided to stop using social media completely, and kept that up for a few years. i felt like shit at first for ignoring everything going on, but i pretty quickly realized it was the right choice to make.

i owe my life to that split-second decision, and i genuinely cannot stress this enough when i say that being too obsessed with stuff on the internet almost made me kill myself, and i hate to see that happen to people now that i'm back.

internet and social media addiction are often overlooked or ridiculed, but it genuinely is something that can end up being deadly, and you never notice it yourself until you actually get out of it. please stay safe

[lovifie]

Simon was in complete awe of your captivating persona from the very beginning. He always imagined you as a serene, well-read, and graceful princess. Your persona was so angelic that he believed you descended from the heavens. He assumed you were born with a silver spoon in your mouth, surrounded by opulence and luxury. But all of his preconceptions changed when he met your parents at a family dinner. To his surprise, your dad was a retired veteran colonel, and your mom was a retired military pilot. They were acting cruelly…hell even the children at the dinner…The realization hit him like a bolt of lightning, that you and your siblings were raised to be soldiers, and your training began from childhood….

This is the second time I write it because the only time I chose to write directly on Tumblr.com it bugged and deleted it (I wanna rip my eyes off) Hope that you like it 🩷

It was a dinner arranged by your parents, the whole team was invited. You thought about not saying anything, keep to yourself and tell your parents the team said no. But they would read right through you, and the moment you mentioned the team was sold.

Now, Simon used to think that you came for an extremely wealthy family. That you joined the military in an act of rebellion, that you could have easily chosen an easier job because you wouldn't have to worry about money in your life. You always move so gracefully while fighting, always so serene when talking, he had yet to see you cry or get mad. Almost like a porcelain door.

What he didn't know was that it was simply a mask that had been forced upon you by your parents. And it was during the dinner that he started to see the little cracks.

He finally saw you be tense, every thread of your person pulled to their limit ready to snap. He understood why you always seemed so relaxed under Price's orders. In comparison to your parents, the man was a loving mother. At some point they even expressed their doubts even of the captain's abilities. He didn't even want to think about how much self doubt they have helped you form.

It slowly started to make sense, how he would never see you in the mess hall. Always working, always training, always practicing, always studying, always getting better.

He looked at your siblings, younger, worse at hiding their emotions. He could see their tiredness, their fear of your parents. You have seated yourself between your father and your siblings. Trusting more to seat them next to Ghost than your own parents.

Your youngest sibling was sitting next to him, and when he noticed them looking up to them he looked back. The kid didn't even look away, and Ghost winked at them making the slightest smile appear on his tiny face.

“We are eating.” Your mother chastised, your sibling face terrified as he went back to eating. It didn't escape him the way you jump, not the slight disgusted expression it put onto your father when you did.

He standed up, motioning you to follow him outside. You panic for a second, forgetting that you no longer lived in your parents house and didn't need to be afraid. You slipped through your father's hand, walking behind the lieutenant when he went outside to have a smoke. You sat on the floor, sighing and with tears pricking your eyes from the frustration.

Ghost asked you about it, and you finally let go of it all. You told him about how your parents believe that dying at war is the most noble way out, how the only job valid for them was in the military, how you have never seen them cry, how you were sure that they would never cry if you died, everything.

By the end of it, you were hugging his leg, your head resting on his thigh as he rubbed your head with his hand consoling you.

“Wait here.” He threw the cigarette to the floor, stepping on it and went back inside.

A moment later the four men were out again.

“C’mon, kid.” Price said with a smile on his face. “There's an emergency, let's go.”

Just when you were standing up, drying your tears the door opened.

Your siblings walked out, giggling each with a backpack. “We heard the world needs saving, shall we go?”

And then, with your team and your siblings, you went into the most rundown, almost destroyed pub. Ate the most greasy food that you were certain would give everyone food poisoning and went on to have the best family dinner of your whole life.

[buckybarnesb-tch]

I am Yours, You are Mine -Aemond T.

This is an A/B/O fic. You have been warned.

Everyone knew, they had always known.

It wasn’t hard to figure out from what I assume, my mothers children are all boys with brown hair and brown eyes, I have white hair and purple eyes. Everyone knew my older brother Jace and my younger brothers Luke and Joffrey were Harwin Strongs children and just like that, everyone knew that I was the daughter of Daemon Targaryen.

Laenor hadn’t been able to give my mother a child and I looked nothing like him, Daemon however…I’m told I’m the spitting image of him. So while I am technically a bastard, I’m also full Targaryen, so I was never treated like it. I was born only 5 moons after Aemond was and therefore was raised with him in a way, as we grew up his older brother Aegon and my older brother Jace got close, at least closer than they were to us and Aemond got picked on a lot. He didn’t have a dragon, and while I didn’t either, everyone knew to leave me alone, whether it was because I was a girl or because I was Daemons daughter I don’t know. My father is the only current Targaryen Alpha in the world and that made people so much more terrified of him than they already were.

Most people in the world present as Betas, it’s normal and no one really thinks twice about it, an Alpha however is a blessing from the Gods. He will be stronger, and tougher, and defend your family better than a Beta can, at least that’s what people believe, an Alphas instincts being so much stronger than a Betas, the only presentation stronger still is an Omega, and an Omega is considered a blessing from the mother herself. Presentation happens around puberty but usually you can see certain traits in children to tell if they will be anything other than a Beta, my mother believes I will be an Omega because even with a father like Daemon I’m quiet and sweet, always the most submissive in the room which for a Princess is a good thing.

Aemond and I spent more and more time together as we got older, him being shunned from the group with his older brother and mine, along with Luke who followed them around like a puppy and didn’t mind getting pranked once in a while. Aemond was the smartest of all of them, he enjoyed learning, and training, but most of all, he had no dragon. Neither of our dragon eggs hatched and the both of us bonded over that, and I always tried to make my uncle feel better when they had been particularly cruel, like the day they gave him a pig instead of a dragon. We skipped dinner that night and sat together in the library for hours just talking. He was my best friend, and my closest ally in the world, we made promises to always be there for each other.

The promises of children never seem to last though…even if the children weren’t the ones to break them.

After Joffrey was born mother moved us back to Dragonstone, me kicking and screaming, clinging to my uncle who held me just as tightly until our mothers gave up. We had a small second of hope as I wrapped my arms around his neck and he held me to him so tightly it almost hurt. That’s when our mothers called for their guards and we were yanked apart harshly and I was carried all the way to the ship that would take us home.

We weren’t apart for long after that, my fathers wife dying in childbirth brought us back together for her funeral. As soon as I saw him I pulled away from Jace and ran to Aemond who held me close and breathed in my scent as I did his, it was a comfort that only we seemed to give each other. I stayed by his side holding his arm while everyone spoke about Laena, saying kind words about a women I barely knew while my “father” stood in the ocean below, crying for the Gods only know how long.

Aegon was with us for some time, watching the maids and being his normal vile self and eventually we were alone, speaking as if no time had passed at all. That moment as we sat on the steps talking would be one I regret for many years to come, watching Aemond as he gazed at Vhagar. I knew my uncle wanted a dragon, more than even I did and I told him he should go, as the sun went down and people filed inside to bed, I encouraged him to mount her while he had the chance. 2 hours later I was awoken to a knight running into my room to check on me and seeing I was in bed and fine. I followed him downstairs to my mothers relief, Luke was bleeding from the nose, Alicent was angry beyond belief and my uncle and best friend sat with a maester stitching his eye up. I moved to his side quickly, taking his hand in my own and holding it tightly, allowing him to squeeze it as he got stitched up and everyone continued screaming. I didn’t care for the politics, I didn’t care for the threats, or insults, only that my favorite person sat beside me maimed and my brothers had done it. I stayed by his side for the rest of the evening, even as the maester gave him milk of the poppy to be able to sleep, snuggling into his chest and feeling his arms around me as he slept soundly and all the while I felt sick to my stomach knowing that what Jace had said to me when I hugged my mother had been completely true… ‘This is all your fault’

I was taken from Aemond’s bed late in the morning, he had awoken to eat and been put back to sleep, all the while clinging to my hand. My mother took us home immediately, we went back to Dragonstone and so did Daemon who quickly married my mother as soon as Laenor passed.

Jace and Luke were quick to blame me for everything, knowing that I had encouraged Aemond to mount Vhagar, maybe if I hadn’t he would still have his eye and I wouldn’t have had to leave again. Maybe Rhaena wouldn’t despise me for “helping to steal her mothers dragon” even if I don’t believe you can have claim to a dragon if it hasn’t chosen you. Jace and Luke spent all their time with Baela and Rhaena and I was left alone, not wanting to be near my brothers to hear about how much they and Aemond despise me, how the only person I had ever truly loved besides my mother wouldn’t even write to me anymore no matter how many times I wrote him apologizing. My mother and father were the only people I ever spoke to anymore, Daemon practically claiming me as his own even if he couldn’t “officially” do that and I learned that being alone is better for everyone, especially once I presented. Jace, Luke, Baela and Rhaena had all presented as Betas as expected but I was “blessed” to a life as an Omega, suffering through my heats alone in a locked room, only maids to bring me food and try to relieve my pain which never worked.

I was 15 before I was truly blessed with anything in my life, out for a walk by myself, having escaped my guard and stumbling upon a dragon. The Grey Ghost was a name given to a shy, pale dragon, one I never hoped to even get a glimpse of in my life and I suddenly had, his eyes locked on mine as if waiting to see what I would do and so I reached into my bag to get the bread I brought with me and the fish I planned to cook on my little adventure, tossing them to him and watching as he snubbed the bread and ripped the fish apart. I had sat down on a boulder, watching as he ate, assuming this would be the only time I would ever see this elusive creature but it wasn’t. He had laid down to nap after eating and the next day he sat at the same spot as I brought him an even bigger fish. That went on for nearly 2 weeks of me bringing him food and talking to him before he approached me and allowed me to touch him, letting me mount him after that. I kept him away from the pits, away from everyone who only saw him when I went flying, knowing he was just as comfortable around people as I was, which was not at all. I even had all of my riding gear dyed as close to his color as I could, making it truly impossible for anyone, even another dragon rider to find us in a cloud bank. Daemon was impressed, believing it was a useful skill, especially for an Omega to be able to hide like that. Life continued on like that until Corlys’ injury, resulting in all of us needing to return to Kings Landing to fight for Luke’s inheritance. I was less than enthusiastic about going but my mother forced me onto the ship.

In Kings landing once again I was stuck with Jace and Luke as mother and Daemon wanted to go see Grandfather, forcing me to follow them to the training yard that I hadn’t seen since I was a small child. Everyone’s attention was on a fight in the center of the yard and I pushed between Jace and Luke to be able to see, seeing Criston Cole fighting a young man with an eye patch and knowing instantly that it’s Aemond, and that he is winning, dodging the mace repeatedly before his blade was at Cole’s throat and I ducked behind Jace and Luke, catching a very strong Alpha scent as I did and feeling my stomach twist into a knot.

‘Nephews. Have you come to train?’ He questioned and I knew they were no where close to as good as he is, he would kill them. They had continued training but not very much and Aemond is clearly quite passionate about it. ‘Niece, lovely to see you again…or smell you I should say, and what a lovely scent it is. Hmm?’ I blushed darkly, not moving from behind my brothers until Jace turned and pushed me to walk back the other way.

‘I would stay close if I were you sister, wouldn’t want to be alone with him, would you?’ Luke teased and I wanted desperately to strangle the cocky little bastard but the last time I had hit him I’d given him a black eye and made him cry like a bitch, mother made sure I knew Omegas should never be violent, especially when they’ve been trained by Daemon and could make a man feel emasculated enough to be murderous.

I sighed, rolling my eyes and following them inside, finding my room as quickly as I could and locking the doors. I sat on the windowsill and stared out over Kings Landing, seeing a dip in the clouds and knowing my dragon had followed us, it was a comfort in case I needed an escape and knowing my family, I definitely will.

I stayed in my room until my mother came to get me, walking all of us together down to the throne room where I stayed as close to my father as I could, feeling men’s eyes on me, flinching from one who leaned in to smell me making my father turn and glare down at him, the man moving to the other end of the room quickly. I held onto his belt as Otto Hightower spoke, feeling eyes on me and knowing Aemond was staring as well. That same Alpha scent was back and my stomach felt like it was quivering as the wonderful smell assaulted me. My attention was only drawn when the doors opened to reveal our grandfather looking rough…half dead honestly as he walked into the room, stumbling up to his throne, Daemon helping him as he dropped his crown and leaving me exposed with no one to hide behind until he came back. I watched on, thoroughly entertained as Vaemond shouted about Luke and Jace being bastards, and actually couldn’t contain my snort as Daemon cut off his head though as expected nothing happened to him and Luke keeps his inheritance.

‘Now, if we’re through with this useless event, I think we can-‘

‘Actually my King, if I may?’ Otto asked, approaching the throne and mumbling something to him quietly.

‘Are you sure? Rhaenyra! Why was I unaware of your daughter presenting as an Omega?’ The King asked and my blood ran cold, Daemon pushing me completely behind him.

‘She was not ready for every noble man in the kingdom to be vying for her hand Father, I was protecting my baby. I apologize if you think I’ve hidden it from you but that was never my intention.’ She explained.

‘My girl, this is wonderful! Otto is right, there’s no need for anyone to look for a husband when we have a perfect Targaryen Alpha right here. Honestly I always did believe Aemond and Y/n would end up marrying, they were so sweet when they were babes.’ I backed away from Daemon, moving around the crowd and moving towards the doors the maids use to get to the kitchen quickly. ‘My son, you will take Y/n as your wife, do you have any objections?’ The King asked and I waited a moment, waiting for him to start yelling, or begging to get out of it…but he didn’t.

‘It will be my honor Father. Thank you.’

‘Well then it is settled, there will be a wedding, right here tomorrow night-‘

‘Tomorrow?!’ My mother exclaimed.

‘I’m a sickly, old man Rhaenyra, I would like to witness their union before I pass on. You can afford me that, can you not?’ He questioned and I knew my mother would cave at that as I got to the door, pushing it open quietly.

‘Father, I would like to request one thing. Since it must be such a quick wedding, I would like to do it in the traditional Valyrian custom.’ Aemond asked and I took pause.

When we were children we discussed just this, we talked about how we would be married one day and I told Aemond that I wanted to do it right, in the old customs. Since the day I learned of the traditional wedding I thought it was beautiful and I wanted it more than anything, Aemond promising me the perfect wedding. The idea that he remembered and even cared enough to request such a thing brought tears to my eyes.

‘I don’t see why not, I leave it to my wife and daughter to sort out the details with the bride and groom.’ My mother and the queen? And they want me in the middle of that? Fuck no.

I turned, leaving out the door, quickly running down the corridor and into the kitchens which were busy making dinner, allowing me to run through quickly and out another side door. I just made it to the gardens and down the steps, hiding in the bushes when a guard rushed out after me. ‘Princess! Princess! Your mother demands your presence!’ He shouted, running into the garden while I crept out and down the side of the castle. One good thing about growing up in a castle, you learn how to get around quickly and unseen.

I looked up to the sky, hoping to see my dragon, knowing exactly what he looks like now that I’ve spent so many years by his side and on his back. ‘Come on Ghost! Where are you?’ I questioned, getting down the stairs to the front of the castle, peeking around the corner to see many guards and I quickly moved around the wall and past the gates to the plaines where I knew Vhagar rested by the water. I kept far away from the resting place of the nearly 2 centuries old dragon and whistled, seeing the grayish white color separate from the clouds and dive down towards the ground, landing just ahead of me and just as he nudged his giant head into me in greeting a voice stopped me.

‘Byka Zaldrīzes!’ I froze, knowing only my uncle had ever called me that. He had since we were kids and I was trying to comfort him when he was upset about not having a dragon. My child brain figured, I’m a Targaryen, I can be your dragon and it made him laugh so hard he couldn’t breathe. He called me Little Dragon ever since. ‘Where are you going to go?’ He asked, not yelling…not even seeming angry.

‘Home…’

‘Going home already, and I didn’t get a hello or a goodbye. I admit, I had hoped for a different reaction.’ He stepped closer, Ghost growling but not doing anything more as I shushed him to keep him calm. ‘You used to be excited by the prospect of us being married.’ That wonderful Alpha scent came over me again and I could no longer deny that it was him I was smelling, though deep down I knew it was. ‘You can’t even look at me?’ His voice held more emotion now, upset at the idea I couldn’t face him.

‘Please Aemond, please stop this? You don’t want to be married to me, there’s no point in whatever you’re doing…’ I told him, turning to face him and I couldn’t deny how beautiful he is. I had always found him cute but he had become incredibly handsome the past 9 years.

‘You dare tell me what I want? You?! After all of this time?! I have always wanted you Y/n and I always will, nothing will change that apart from you telling me you no longer love me and that my face is too much for you to accept as your Lord Husband.’ My eyes widened and I took an unintentional step forward.

‘Aemond, you are beautiful, you always have been! No scar changes that, and it could certainly not change the way I feel for you-‘

‘Then why do you run from me? Why have you spent 9 years not answering my letters? Why do you find it so hard to look me in the face? Why-‘

‘Because it’s my fault!’ I shouted, unable to take his questions anymore. ‘Because if I hadn’t encouraged you it wouldn’t have happened, no one would have fought, you wouldn’t have lost your eye! It’s my fault! And Jace and Luke, they tell me all the time and I don’t want to hear how much you hate me! I don’t want to hear you lie and tell me I ignored you, I wrote you every day for months! You never responded and I don’t think I can handle hearing how much you hate me Kepa…I can’t…’ the tears were now streaming down my face like crazy and as I reached to wipe them away he grabbed ahold of my wrists, forcing me to look at him.

‘You think I blame you?’ His voice was so soft it actually startled me. ‘Y/n…first of all I never got letters from you and I’m realizing you didn’t receive mine either which I’m assuming was your brothers but Gods Y/n! I have Never blamed you for that night!’ His face was so serious and hard I knew he wasn’t lying.

‘Never?’

‘Not for one second! You are the only one who gave me any kind of comfort, everyone else was either scared or angry, but you just held me. I loved you so much in that moment I thought my heart would explode! Waking up next to you in the morning, in so much pain, but you were there to make me feel better…then you were gone. My Little Dragon was gone and I couldn’t even speak to her, and now I come to find out you’re carrying guilt that has never been yours to hold! Your brother did that, not you, Luke! He chose to pick up that blade and slice my face, not you! And Vhagar was no one’s to claim, she chose me and I chose her, and yes you helped make me feel better about it but I was going to go to her no matter what you said…please let go of that guilt, my Princess?’ I nodded, sniffling as he let go of my arms and used his thumbs to wipe my eyes before leaning close and pressing his lips to mine. ‘You’re mine Byka Zaldrīzes, all mine!’ He swore, kissing me again, harder this time and pulling me flush against his chest. ‘My Little Dragon is going to be my wife, the mother of my children, my perfect little Omega…Fuck you smell amazing!’ He groaned, digging his face into my neck and inhaling deeply.

‘That’s enough!’ A deep voice shouted and Aemond jumped but I knew exactly who it was.

‘Father, you ruin everything.’ I teased and he just smiled as he got closer, Ghost rumbling in irritation at how many people are here now, seemingly willing to deal with my Alpha and that is all. ‘Did you take my letters?’ I asked and he instantly looked confused.

‘What?’

‘The letters I wrote Aemond, and the letters he wrote me, we never got them. Was it you? I am asking you despite the fact that you’re the least likely…I’m going to kill Jace…and Luke.’ I told him and he seemed irritated.

‘If they really did that, then they will be punished, I assure you. However right now, we need to get you back inside and help your mother plan a wedding.’ I hesitated but nodded my head, moving to follow Daemon and he turned to walk away as well just as I pulled away from Aemond and climbed onto Ghost.

‘Y/n, what are you doing?’ He laughed.

‘You think I’m going to mediate our mothers? Not gonna happen, by this time tomorrow we’ll be married or they’ll be dead, but I won’t be in the middle. Bye father!’ I shouted, hearing Ghost rumble. ‘Sovēs!’ I commanded before he leapt into the air and began climbing towards the clouds. ‘You saved my life, you know that?’ He screeched and I snorted. ‘Not really I suppose, but it wouldn’t have been fun…at all.’ We stayed like that, flying contently over the clouds for several minutes before Ghost seemed agitated and I turned to see the shadow of a large dragon above us causing me to push Ghost down before seeing Vhagar behind us, Aemond laughing while Ghost complained. ‘Not Funny Kepa!’ I shouted, diving after him as he turned to land on a nearby island.

‘I like it when you call me that, Princess.’ He told me as we both got our feet back on the ground.

‘Really? I would have thought you would hate it. My father does, it makes him feel Old when my mother uses it.’ I laughed and he just snorted, laying out his jacket for me to sit on so I could be comfortable.

‘He is nearly 20 years older than your mother, of course he hates it. When you say it, it just excites me.’

‘Hmm, well then I will refrain. Wouldn’t want to excite you too much, would we?’ I leaned into his side and he wrapped his arms around me, Vhagar laying down behind us and Ghost wanting to lay his head on my lap but I wouldn’t let him with Aemond here too.

‘I knew you would be a perfect little Omega, I just knew it. So perfect Y/n, and all mine.’ Aemond’s nose trailed through my hair and I loved the feeling.

‘Not yet Kepa, you need to wait to say that until we’re married-‘

‘Are you going to tell me that you belong to someone else, Omega? Because I will remove their organs.’ He threatened. ‘I’m already keeping myself from killing your brothers so save yourself more problems. If any man has dared put their hands on you-‘

‘Aemond!’ I exclaimed, laughing as he went on his tirade. ‘No one has touched me! Jace tried once when I went into heat the first time but I smacked him so hard his ears rang for a week. I love the possessive attitude but no one has touched me.’ I teased him, giggling as he trailed his nose over my scent gland, groaning.

‘Good, because I would’ve killed them. I told you before, you’re all mine Byka Zaldrīzes, Alphas pretty little Omega.’ His lips wrapped around my scent gland, sucking on my neck and making me cry out. ‘Oh, such sweet little sounds you make for me, my good girl.’ He teased, pushing me onto my back and laying over top of me, arm circling my waist. ‘I’ve waited so long to have you under me like this, to have to wait one more day is torture.’

‘You will survive Kepa, no one will keep us apart again…I am yours, and you are mine. Forever.’ I trailed my fingers up his jaw to his cheek and removed his eyepatch, dropping it to the ground and taking his face into my hands, his eyes closing as I held him.

‘Should they try, I will set this whole world on fire my love. No one will dare take you from me again.’ His voice was firm and fiery, every bit the Dragon that he was always meant to be.

As he leant down, I turned my head and let his lips touch my cheek. ‘We’re not yet married Aemond.’

‘Surely you can afford me a kiss, we will be married by this time tomorrow, don’t make me wait to kiss you one moment longer.’ I had to giggle at the way he made it seem like a life or death situation. ‘I had your first when we were only 8, I would have your last before you’re married.’ His fingers trailed over my cheek as I blushed a dark red before I leaned closer and felt his lips on mine. They were soft and warm as he held me close. I touched my fingers softly to the scar under his eye, hating that he had had to suffer so much pain and I couldn’t even be there for him, or even write to him. ‘I am sorry this is the face you must look at for the rest of our marriage, I-‘

I glared up at him and flicked his nose hard before he could finish speaking. ‘You will not speak ill of the man I love that way! Do you hear me? I care very little about a scar, I’m just sorry that I could not stop it.’

‘Little Dragon-‘

‘All this scar shows me is how strong and tough my husband is. It tells me that I will be safe in his arms and bed, and that our children will never know the feeling of danger…I love you Aemond.’ I could see the unshed tears in his eye that I knew he would never let fall and I pressed my lips to his again.

‘I love you Y/n. You are mine, and I am yours. ‘

For everyone who asked me for more Aemond content as well as those who asked for more Alpha/Omega fics.

I hope you liked it, cause I loved writing it!

Aemond Targaryen Masterlist

[in1-nutshell]

And hey continuation of The last ask of old predacon buddy how would the decepticons react to Old Predacon buddy revert back into their younger form like out on the battlefield most of them would most likely be terrified (more specifically Megatron because he had to fight old Predacon buddy back then a long time ago)

Megatron is not going to have a fun time when he finds out.

Hope you enjoy!

Bot Buddy the Old Predacon turns to their younger self fights the Con's

SFW, Platonic, Cybertronain reader

The Autobot had been ambushed by the Decepticon’s.

They were being swarmed from every angle.

Buddy was becoming more and more restless hearing the sounds of battle through the console as Ratchet turned on the groundbrigde and went in to help.

“Ratchet let me help! We both know I can fight!”--Buddy

“This isn’t a game, Buddy. We can’t have Megatron know that you’re here like this.”--Ratchet

“And what about the others?”--Buddy

“If something does happen then come. But only as a last resort, do you understand?”--Ratchet

“…Fine.”--Buddy

The kids did their best to keep the Predacon calm while they kept on swishing their tail around in irritating fashion.

They were doing a good job keeping things under control despite everything.

“Don’t worry Buddy. They’ll be back before you know it!”--Raf

“Such faith you have Rafael. And such patience.”—Buddy

“It doesn’t look too good, but usually the bots have it covered.”--Jack

“They’ll be okay. The team’s been ambushed plenty of times. They always—”--Miko

“BBBBBBBEEEEEEEEEPPPPPPPPP! (OPTIMUS NNNOOOOO!)”--Bumblebee

“AAARRRGGGGHHHH!”--Optimus

“…”—the kids and Buddy

“…Rafael. Ready the groundbrigde.”—Buddy

Buddy slowly walks to the groundbrigde as Raf activates it.

They go through the portal.

Both sides saw a bridge open on the hill above them.

The bots optics widen knowing who it was.

Optimus was holding on to his wound on his side with Megatron in front of him.

Megatron also looked at the portal curiously.

What did the Autobots have up their…

Oh…

The giant predacon walked out of the portal and scanned the area.

Megatron actually stepped back seeing the site of the young Buddy.

It was almost like seeing Buddy when he first started out as a gladiator.

Soundwave was already planning several portals to help with the evacuation.

Buddy finally set their optics on Megatron and Optimus.

“MEGATRON!”--Buddy

“Is that—”--Megatron

“GET OFF OF PRIME!”--Buddy

Megatron narrows his optics at the Predacon.

“Megatron obeys NO ONE!”--Megatron

Megatron kicked Prime’s wound harshly.

The audial piercing scream that came out of Buddy’s throat made everyone try and cover them up.

It was too fast for anyone to comprehend.

Buddy had flown straight down and tackled Megatron off of Prime and proceeded to beat the ever-loving daylights out of him.

Megatron did put up a fight.

But the fight was already set the moment Megatron kicked Prime in his wound.

Buddy held no remorse for this mech.

This was no longer the Megatronus they knew from their days as gladiators.

This monster.

This Megatron.

Was the enemy.

They were close to offlining him, but Soundwave had tackled them to the ground.

Soundwave quickly sent out the groundbrigdes for the troops and Megatron could escape.

Buddy did manage to tail whip him before he went to the portal.

Buddy huffing as they carefully walk back to their team.

Ratchet is trying to patch up Prime’s wounds.

Buddy kneels down.

“Anyone who can’t walk, get on my back.”--Buddy

Buddy stayed by the injured bots side the entire time.

They absolutely refused to get treated until everyone was treated.

They absolutely did not leave Optimus’s side through the entire way, even afterwards.

“Has anyone seen Optimus?”--Jack

“No, not today.”--Arcee

“I saw him earlier with Buddy.”--Smokescreen

“Found them.”--Ratchet

Buddy has their wings and limbs around Optimus effectively trapping him to the med slab.

“You are not walking till I say so.”--Buddy

“Buddy—”--Optimus

Buddy moves their wing in front of Prime’s face.

“Sleep Pax. I’m going after Bumblebee and Ratchet next.”--Buddy

[vinillain]

Great wave spoilers//

WHATTATTATATATT

THE TONE SHIFT WAS CRAZYYYY

I love these two and the newly weds paralleling each other. Maybe I’m reaching but they literally look like genderbend Amalia and Yugo (THE SAME PONYTAIL??) I also feel absolutely awful for them because considering the high tensions and that they are the first official now married Elia-Sadida couple besides their king and queen they have a TON of pressure on them that rides on their relationship.

(I saw a hc that they met on the battle field which is soooo cute… the war is tearing both sides apart but it brought them together 🥺)

I feel so bad though, this poor Eliatrope who’s lost her parents in a war, been stuck in a timeless dimension for 10k+ years- gets out to be apart of this elite squad and then loses her family AGAIN+ all the younger siblings she spent so much time with. Falls in love and gets to be happy but has to represent her people and the ties, I imagine she has a lot of weight on her shoulders. (side eyes Yugo)

And on top of that she watches her king who she and the few of her people that are left rely on get poisoned, likely by the very same people she has to live among every day. Next to her husband 😭😭😭 I LOVE that last shot with them at the other end of the table paralleling Amalia and Yugo. I feel soooooo bad for her. Just when things were going smoothly too :(

Also this is weird but I genuinely like Aurora?? She’s a total b*tch but her crazy jumps in logic and genuine narcissism and insanity infatuate me. While I’m sure she might have some sympathetic traits she works a lot better as an antagonist when you aren’t trying to look for a sympathetic villain. She looked at this wedding and immediately made it about herself. “Armand wouldn’t have” BABE… Armand might not have but he would not be acting the way you are 😭😭Honestly I like this direction?? Maybe that’s just me but it’s fun to see her character get explored and not just be… there. Sitting next to her husband forever and not being allowed to speak.

I actively want to see her downfall but I hope it’s really fun. She’s so self centered but it works so well. A but like Azula from avatar, I feel like she’s going to grow worse over time and do crazier and crazier things until she’s completely lost it. And I am so here for it.

It seems like the pregnancy is genuine. There’s always a possibility she’s lying or there’s another factor we won’t see until later. But until now it does seem somewhat real. And I don’t think they (or at least Aurora) had a hand in poisoning Yugo. Since Osa says “Let them enjoy this last party.” But that could also have been a last as in “I’m going to kill them-take them out” it’s been said but it’s likely Amalia will accuse Aurora since she’s the “outsider” and the most suspicious at the moment. And Aur might be hurt by this since she lost her husband too. Etc.

“Wow maybe royal duties aren’t always so b-“ and then he immediately throws up blood.

Poor Yu 😭😭 I’m wondering if Amalia’s drink was poisoned too. She didn’t sniff it or anything, maybe she just got the feeling something was wrong? (Sheram Sham intuition) I feel soooo awful for her. I honestly can’t blame her for immedietly freaking out, she’s lost so much. All of her family is gone and after a long stressful day with Yugo’s nightmare, the arguments, Aurora showing up and having to manage an entire very important wedding with high tensions, seeing the love of her life and really her only family get sick with a possibility of death right before her eyes is terrifying.

These two really can’t catch a break (and this all happened in ONE day)

Anyway considering how slow the last few chapters have been the build off is definitely paying off. On the edge of my seat for next week (hoping for some Yumalia comfort :,)

Wip for a piece “to Poison a god” ;)

[just-jordie-things]

[part six] to build a home - gojo satoru

word count: 5k warnings: !!manga spoilers!! swearing, jjk-verse style fighting series summary: when (y/n) (y/l/n) catches wind that the notorious sorcerer killer, toji fushiguro, has children, she makes it her personal mission to find them. the catch being she couldn't tell a soul about them- the risk of the zen'in clan learning about them was too great. keeping the secret isn't the hard part, it's lying to her friends, shoko ieiri, geto suguru, and of course gojo satoru, that she struggles with. especially when satoru has suddenly become so keen on keeping an eye on her lately.

series masterlist

[part six] : "I Held On As Tightly As You Held Onto Me" ___

The day after her little excursion with Satoru, (y/n) wakes up bright and early to get off campus before anyone else awoke.  The alarm that blares in her ear is harsh and unforgiving at nearly six in the morning, but she doesn’t waste a second getting herself ready and rushing out to the front gates to get to town as soon as she could.

To her surprise, she wasn’t the only one awake this early in the morning.

“Nanami,” (y/n) stops in her tracks as she sees the lone sorcerer jogging through the gates.  He seems just as surprised to see her.  “What’re you doing up this early on a day off?” 

“I could ask you the same thing,” He stops just a few feet before her, his head tilted to the side.  “You’ve spent quite a bit of time in Tokyo, huh?” 

“You don’t know that’s where I'm off to” She replies, and it’s meant to be playful, teasing, but Nanami’s bullshit detector might rival Suguru’s.

He eyes her up and down.

“Looks to me like you are,” He says bluntly.  “If you’re not, then where are you off to?” 

(y/n) remains silent, unable to come up with even a half-decent lie.

“That’s what I thought,” He chuckled.  “Don’t worry.  I’m not one to spill other people’s business to those they’re hiding it from” 

Taken aback, (y/n) scoffs, shaking her head awkwardly.

“I’m not- I’m not hiding anything from anyone” 

“You’re a shitty liar,” Nanami replies, and it sounds harsh, but he’s just blunt with his words.  “Lucky for you, I’m tired of Gojo sticking his nose in things that don’t involve me, let alone him.  So I won’t tell him I saw you,” 

She’s trying to keep up a clueless act, but the relief she feels at his words is obvious.

“But a little advice?” Nanami asks, and she nods her head in a small motion, eyes flickering over him.  “He’s going to catch on sooner or later,” He tells her.  “So whatever you’re doing, whoever you’re seeing…” He trails off, seemingly to find the right words.  “You better get your shit figured out.  I’ll keep this to myself, but I don’t need Six Eyes in my business the way he got into Yu’s just to protect you” 

She nods again, slowly processing what he said.

“Thank you, Nanami,” Her voice is barely above a whisper when she finds it.  “I wouldn’t ask any more of you.  Thank you” 

The blonde sorcerer is still and silent for a moment, lost in his thoughts.  He doesn’t consider this an act of kindness, more so an act of self preservation.  He knew better than to get involved in something that would inevitably have upset Gojo Satoru.  Nanami may have subtly despised the older sorcerer, but  he was smarter than to go out of his way to upset him.

After a long pause, he nods back at her, and turns to continue his jog.  (y/n) reaches out before he can leave.

“Wait, Nanami,” She calls.  “One more thing?” 

Begrudgingly, he stops in his tracks, giving her his attention once more.

“You said Satoru was bothering Yu?” 

“Bothering is an understatement,” Nanami scoffs.  “Safe to say Yu’s terrified of him now.  If he wasn’t already.  But…” 

(y/n) waits impatiently for him to continue, hanging on to every word he spoke.  What business Satoru had scaring Yu, she wasn’t entirely sure.  But she wondered if it had anything to do with the last time he’d brought up the younger sorcerer’s crush.

“... I suppose Yu knew he was signing up for such treatment when he decided to pursue someone that already had a claim on them” 

(y/n) blinked, her mouth dropping open slightly, but no words came out.  No words even came to mind.  Nanami chuckled, smiling for maybe the first time she’s ever seen, before he gave her a small wave and jogged off.  She was frozen in place for a minute, and even when she finally brought herself to go on her way, she wasn’t quite sure what to make of their whole interaction.

She decides to pack it away in her mind for now, and keep her focus on the rest of her day.  She owed Megumi and Tsumiki big time for yesterday, and she planned to start the day off the right way- with apology donuts.

Last night (y/n) had called Tsumiki like she’d promised she would, and the little girl didn’t seem too bothered that she hadn’t made an appearance that day, but she’d said that Megumi wasn’t in the mood to talk.  Leaving (y/n) to believe the young boy held a little more of a grudge.  

Not that she could blame him.  She’d dropped the ball by not holding to her promise.  She hoped that some day, when they were older, they would understand why she had to keep them a secret.  It was for their own good and she knew that now, but they weren’t quite old enough for her to explain.

She just hoped that they could forgive her, this time.  And she hoped that she’d never have to go back on their word again. ___

Satoru strolled into the courtyard, finding his friends relaxed at a picnic table, their lunches and a pack of cigarettes between them.  They were laughing at something he hadn’t heard before approaching, clearly sharing their food and a cig.  There was just one thing missing.

“Hey,” The white haired sorcerer greeted, throwing one leg over the wooden bench, facing Suguru as he sat.  “Where’s-” 

“Before you ask, we don’t know,” Shoko cut him off, passing the cigarette back to the man across from her, and picking up a pair of chopsticks in exchange.  “Went to ask her if she wanted to have lunch with us, but she wasn’t in her room.  Again” 

“Again?” Satoru asked, brows furrowing.

“(y/n’s) absent almost more than you are these days, Satoru” Suguru commented.

“With what? Tutoring?” 

“Who knows,” Shoko hums.  “But she’s not on campus” 

Satoru gives her a hard stare from behind his dark shades.  The girl throws her hands up defensively, before reaching in front of Suguru’s plate to snatch up a rice ball.

“She’s been off having her own little adventures for the last few weeks,” Suguru says.  “We don’t know where she goes.  She likes her privacy” 

“So you don’t even know where she is-?” 

“Satoru,” Shoko mumbles through a mouthful of rice ball.  “You worry too much about her.  If she was in trouble, she would tell us” 

Suguru points a finger at her, silently agreeing with what she said.

“You’re both the worst” Satoru mutters, earning a laugh from his friends.

“You’re worried she’s with a guy?” Shoko muses, her eyes wandering over Suguru’s plate, trying to decide on what to steal next.

Suguru lets out a whistle, an amused smile on his face.

“Did she say something about a guy?” He asks before Satoru can.

“Maybe,” Shoko replies, eyeing a juicy looking piece of beef, and plucking it up before Suguru’s chopsticks can beat her to it.  “Maybe not” 

Satoru’s jaw is locked in place, and he feels his eye start to twitch like it had the day he approached Haibara.  Meanwhile, Suguru is laughing, like he’s excited to hear such news.

“(y/n) with a non-sorcerer?” He thinks aloud.  He’s laughing so much his shoulders are shaking.  Satoru thinks about smacking him upside the head.  “How fascinating” 

“She’s not seeing a guy,” The white haired sorcerer snaps.  “She would have said something” 

Shoko scoffs.

“Not likely” 

“What makes you say that?” 

“Because she’s always been private about her romantic interests?” Her voice tilts as though asking a question, as though it was an obvious answer.  “I swear I’ve had to pry it out of her” 

“Oh do tell” Suguru purrs, leaning over the table curiously.

“Or don’t,” Satoru grumbles.  “I’d like to keep my lunch inside of me, thank you” 

“Don’t be such a jealous bore,” Suguru waves a dismissive hand towards his friend, before turning back to Shoko.  “So, who has she been with? Because I would just love to hear about a few of those little underclassmen in the sack” 

Shoko giggles, reaching over to snatch the cigarette that had been ignored in his fingers for far too long.

“I wouldn’t be a good friend if I told,” She winked.  “You’ll just have to sleep with them to see for yourself” 

“You’re both insufferable, you know that?” 

“Speak for yourself” Suguru replies.

“I’m a little curious about Ijichi, though.  What do you think?” Shoko ponders, to no one in particular.

Suguru hums thoughtfully.

“So you have no idea where (y/n) is, or what she’s been up to, but she’s been sneaking off for the last week?” 

“We never said she was sneaking off” Suguru shrugs a shoulder.

“Oh, I would,” Shoko speaks up, blowing out a plume of smoke.  “Saw her sneaking back in on Friday” 

Suguru raises an intrigued brow.

“Late?” He presumes.

She nods, a small smirk on her lips.

“Almost midnight” 

Suguru whistles again.

Satoru was getting tired of their gossip that led nowhere.  They could both tell that he was annoyed, they just didn’t care enough to drop the topic.  It was fun after all, getting him riled up.  It was also fun to chat about what they thought she was up to.

“Definitely a booty call, then,” Suguru decides, snatching a piece of beef off his plate before Shoko could.  “Why else would she be slinking around so late?” He ponders.

Satoru can’t wrap his head around (y/n) sneaking out to hook up with some nobody in Tokyo.  How would she have even met this person? And she didn’t seem the type to have some meaningless fling.  But perhaps that was all the more reason for her to have one? The secrecy of it all gnawed at him, made him queasy.  He ran a hand through his hair stressfully.

“Come to think of it, a few weeks ago I also saw her get in pretty late.  Not that late, but it was probably around ten o’clock” Suguru pursed his lips as he thought about it, knowing full well that she had in fact been sneaking around.

But he didn’t have to share that information just yet.  Making Satoru squirm was far too entertaining.

Satoru suddenly stood from his seat.  Both of his friends watched him curiously, wondering if he was going to blow up or just storm off.

He turns to walk off, but before he can get too far, Shoko speaks up.

“I wouldn’t go after her”

Satoru turns around, crossing his arms over his chest.

“And why shouldn’t I?” 

“Tch, isn’t it obvious?” Suguru scoffs.  “If you go after her now, and catch her in- well whatever or whoever she’s up to, she’ll be pissed” 

Satoru grinds his teeth, not wanting to admit out loud that his friends were right.  Even though they all knew it.

“You don’t want to piss her off,” Shoko chuckles, stumping the embers off the butt of her cigarette on the wood table.  “(y/n’s) fiery when she’s angry,” She lets out a short chuckle as though she were recalling her own experience with upsetting the girl.  “But, maybe you’d like that” She adds with a little smirk.

Suguru snickers across from her.

Satoru’s jaw finally relaxes.  And then in a blink, he was no longer standing before them.  They don’t know where he teleported off to, but their focus shifts right back to the lunch before them.

“You really think (y/n’s) got a hookup in town?” Suguru asks.

Shoko shrugs.

“Don’t have another explanation for it.  You?”

“Yeah.  Me neither,” He agrees.  “You think Satoru’s gonna go track the poor fucker down?” 

“Yep” 

“Yeah.  Me too” ___

In fact, Gojo Satoru hadn’t teleported himself into Tokyo.  His friends had gotten too in his head for him to go searching for (y/n).  No matter how much his curiosity was eating him alive wondering what she could be up to, he was more afraid of losing her in the long run if he stuck his nose in her business.  He’d have to figure out some other way to get her to fess up.

He’d just gotten too annoyed with his friends, so he’d teleported himself into the school, and as soon as his feet touched ground, his fist was launching into the wall.  The wood splintered and cracked, but luckily he hadn’t fully punched through it.  Yaga would probably be upset.

Shaking out his now sore and bruised hand, he looked over, realizing he hadn’t chosen an empty hallway to punch out his frustrations.

Nanami Kento stood there, just a few feet away.  His face expressionless, but still staring at the sight before him inquisitively.

“Something bothering you?” He asked, his voice monotone.  Satoru sneered back at the sarcastic remark.

“Mind your business” 

“You’re the one that showed up in front of me and started punching” Nanami scoffed.

Alright.  That was true.

“Whatever” He muttered.

“Why would you punch something without your infinity up?” Nanami asks, his head nodding to the bloodied knuckles of Satoru’s hand.  “Doesn’t that hurt?” 

Satoru wants to repeat himself, tell him to mind his business, flip him the middle finger and storm off, but for some reason, he chuckles.

“Yeah, it does,” He answered.  “Guess I was too angry” 

The blonde sorcerer hummed, tucking his hands into his pockets.

“You’re going to leave Yu alone, right?” He changes the topic, taking a few steps forward.

Satoru looks him up and down, raising a brow curiously.

“What, you got a reason why I should?” He asks.  

Honestly, Satoru had no intention of going after the younger sorcerer anymore than he already had.  Even if by some landslide (y/n) decided he was her dream man, he would leave him alone.  But Nanami’s question sparked an interest in him. 

“Besides the fact that he hasn’t done anything wrong?” Nanami quips back, his voice never wavering above it’s steady tone.

Satoru chuckles, and shakes his head.

“Don’t worry, I’m not gonna kill your friend just cause he sticks his business where it doesn’t belong” 

“Hypocrite” Nanami bites back.

“Me?” Satoru laughs again, but this time it’s humorless.  Irritated.  “I’m the hypocrite?” 

“You’re the one that barged in on us, demanding him to tell you about his encounter with her.  You’re the one that was acting like a dog marking it’s territory” 

Satoru’s interest in this conversation was quickly turning to rage.  He should have just told Nanami that he had no qualms with Haibara Yu, but now it was too late, and he was getting pissed off.  

He takes a long stride forward, his eyes hardening.

“Are you calling her my territory?” He asks, voice losing it’s playful tone as it lowers.

Nanami knew that if they were to get into a fight right now, he was bound to lose in a mere second.  But he was protective of his friend, and this conflict was pointless.

That said, Gojo Satoru was starting to get on his nerves, walking around like he could act however he wanted, treat people however he wanted, Haibara and (y/n) alike.  Yu hadn’t crossed any lines, and despite how the Six Eyes user may feel, (y/n) wasn’t spoken for.

“I’m saying (y/n) isn’t spoken for,” Nanami voices his thoughts, even though deep down, the instinct in his blood told him to back off before this got ugly.  “She doesn’t belong to anyone,” 

Satoru is all but oozing his jealousy.  He’s glaring at him, his chest puffed, his hands in fists at his sides.  Nanami would have laughed had he not been completely serious.

“And if she were here, she’d probably tell you so” He finished.

They stand in silence for a minute.  

One of them glaring, huffing in annoyance.  

The other is calm, collected, unwavering in his stance.

The silence is long, and deafening.  Until Nanami finally walks away, without a word, without a second glance back, he leaves Satoru alone in the hall.  His work feels completed.  Haibara Yu shouldn’t have any issue with the older, more experienced sorcerer again.  He’s not sure if he’s solved any conflict for (y/n) (y/l/n) or made it worse, but he feels little to no care if he’s disturbed her relationship with Gojo Satoru.

However, as he leaves, there’s a slight nag in the back of his mind.  A worry that he’d done her a disservice by speaking on her behalf.  He tries to brush it off.

Suddenly he’s reminded of the way she’d thanked him that morning, for keeping a small secret for her.  If he could even call it a secret, it’s not as though he’d known what she was up to at the crack of dawn, and he’s not even sure why he cared to keep that to himself now, even when he could have used it to get under Gojo’s skin.  Something told him not to bring it up, for her sake.

Nanami Kento didn’t know (y/n) well, she was a year above him after all, so the only time he’d spent any time with her at all was during the Exchange Event with the Kyoto school.  Even then, all he could gather on her was that she was a very skilled, very thoughtful fighter.  It wasn’t like there was any spare time to get to know her better.  So he doesn’t know why he’d chosen to keep her secret.

Perhaps Yu had spoken too fondly of her as of late, and it had gotten to his head. ___

(y/n) had spent all day chatting with Tsumiki, about anything and everything she’d wanted to talk about.  They talked about school, what manga she was reading, what friends she had hung out with as of late, the conversation seemed to flow with ease.  (y/n) was grateful that the young girl had forgiven her, seemingly easily, and she made sure to assure her that she would never go back on her word again.

They’re sitting on the couch in the living room together when (y/n) tells her this.

“I know, (y/n).  It’s okay” Tsumiki had said.

“I know you say that,” (y/n) had spoken seriously, the light mood in the living room suddenly warping.  “But I want you to know that I mean it.  When I make a promise about something, I won’t ever go back on it.  Not with you.  Not again” 

Tsumiki nods, giving her a small smile.  She seems to understand how important it was for (y/n), so she decides to treat it with importance too.

“I think Megumi was a little upset,” She admits, quietly.

(y/n) nods in agreement.  She’d already gotten that feeling, since he hadn’t left his room, even when she’d brought him a donut for breakfast.  It had been hours since she’d arrived at the Fushiguro house, and he was still holed up in there.

“He didn’t say anything,” Tsumiki continues.  “But he gets quiet when he’s upset.  Even though he’s always quiet”

(y/n) chuckles softly.

“I don’t blame him for being upset with me,” She replies.  “If he doesn’t want to talk to me, that’s alright.  It won’t bother me” 

It’s quiet.  Tsumiki plays with the hem of her dress while (y/n) pensively glances out the window.  She means what she said, but she hopes that Megumi would crawl out of his shell soon, so that she could properly apologize to him.

“(y/n)?”

The sorcerer hums, looking back over to the child.

“It’s been really nice… having you around,” Tsumiki says, so soft that she’s almost whispering.  She’s still staring down at the skirt of her dress, held tightly in her small hands.  “I’m really glad you found us” 

Her heart swells with so much love that (y/n) can’t help but grin.  She reaches out, tucking a loose strand of brown hair behind her ear, before smoothing her hand over the back of her head.

“I’m glad I found you too, Tsumiki,” She tells her.  “I hope you know you can always ask me for anything.  Whatever it is, I’ll do anything I can to do it for you.  Okay?” 

Tsumiki nods, her cheeks blossoming with pink as she smiles back at her.

“I should probably go bug your brother,” (y/n) sighs, dropping her hand and leaning back in her seat.  “He’s not going to be happy with me, is he?” 

Tsumiki giggles, shaking her head.

“If you hear me screaming for help, come save me?” 

Still giggling, the nine year old nods this time, and (y/n) smiles playfully back at her, before standing from the sofa.

Making her way down the hall and to the front of Megumi’s closed door, she takes in a deep breath, knowing he will be harder to crack than his sister.  Megumi had always been more reserved, even when he opened up to her it was always by handing out scraps.  She wanted to make this right.  He deserved that much.

She knocks gently on the wood.

“Megumi?” She calls, before knocking again.  “Can I come in” 

It’s quiet for a beat.  Before she hears a small, “Fine” 

Still, as she opens the door, she’s slow, and she doesn’t step inside right away.

Megumi is sitting on the floor with his back against his bed.  He’s reading Charlotte’s Web again, the book propped open in his lap.  (y/n) wonders how many times he’s read it now, and her heart weakens a little at the realization why he held such an attachment to it.

But she can’t cry for him, not right now.  Right now he needed to see that she was strong, and she was here because she wanted to be strong for him, for both of them.

“What have you been up to today?” She asks, leaning against the doorframe.

The boy doesn’t answer aloud.  He simply holds his book up, before placing it back in his lap.

“Reading?”

He blinks at her.

“That’s good.  I was too much of a brat as a kid to enjoy reading.  But it’s a good hobby.  For smart kids” 

“You’re saying you weren’t a smart kid?” He asks.  (y/n) chuckles, shaking her head.

“Absolutely not,” She admits.  “I was a troublemaker.  I get the feeling you wouldn’t have liked me if you’d known me back then,” She tells him.

Young Megumi’s eyes are wide.  He’s shocked to hear someone say such a thing.  He’d never thought an adult would admit something so silly.  Usually adults always acted like they were perfect, and they knew best.  

He supposed he already knew (y/n) was different.  She wasn’t like other adults, probably because she wasn’t quite yet a real adult herself.

“Not that I assume you like me now,” She continues, only half teasing.  “But I think you would, if you got to know me better,” 

Megumi drops his head, staring down at the pages of his book.  He picks at the edge of it’s worn spine.

(y/n) tilts her head to the side, watching him thoughtfully for a moment, giving him a minute to take in everything she’d said before she continued.

Megumi and his sister were vastly different, for as close as they were.  Tsumiki was bubbly, chatty, happy to get to know anyone and happy to let anyone get to know her.  Megumi was quite the opposite.  He wasn’t shy, but he was more reserved than any other eight year old (y/n) had met.  He didn’t want to open up, seemingly ever, and he also didn’t show much interest in other people opening up either.

“Megumi, if I ask you something, do you think you could be honest with me?” Her question is carefully worded, hoping that he could see she was trying to present an olive branch.

He looks up at her, thinking for a moment, before nodding his head.

“Are you upset with me for not coming by yesterday?” She asks, tilting her towards her shoulder.

“You don’t owe us anything,” Megumi answers, dropping his eyes to his book again.  “You don’t have to come here.  You don’t know us” He pauses, his fingers tugging roughly at the spine of his book now.

(y/n) steps inside then, crossing the room to kneel down in front of him.  Her hands gently wrapped around his, stopping him from damaging his book further.

Megumi freezes, but he doesn’t push her away, and doesn’t snap out of irritated protest.  (y/n) realizes she’s never touched him before, and she wasn’t sure when the last time someone could have touched him gently, affectionately.  His father surely wasn’t the type, and she didn’t know how long his mother had been out of the picture.

She wraps her hands around his small one more securely, pulling it away from the book.  He’s staring at her hands as though it was his first time seeing them.  When she looks at him, she can see his eyes have a gloss to them.

“That isn’t what I asked,” She reminds him.  “It’s okay if you’re upset with me, you know.  You’re allowed to be” 

He looks at her now, his little eyebrows pinched together as he tries to figure out what he’s supposed to say.

And then he remembers that she asked him to be honest, and he supposes he has no reason not to be.

“I shouldn’t be upset,” He huffs.  “You’re not our family.  And I should have never expected you to stick around anyways.  No one sticks around” 

(y/n) shuffles to sit beside him, with her back pressed to his bed.  She lets go of his hand to take his book away, marking the page before setting it down on the floor in front of them.

“You’re right,” She hums, thoughtfully.  “I’m not your family, and I don’t need you to treat me as such,” She adds.  “But Megumi, I want you to know, that I will always come back,” 

He blinks at her, his eyes filling with more tears.

“I’m not going anywhere.  I’m sticking around whether you want me to or not.  And I need you to believe me when I tell you that,” 

(y/n) feels herself get choked up as well, but she clears her throat and wills her eyes to dry.  This wasn’t about her.

“If only you knew how long I looked for you,” She confesses, placing a hand on his unruly head of hair, ruffling it playfully.  “Once I knew you guys were out there somewhere, on your own, I didn’t stop.  I never rested.  And to be honest, I still don’t.  I probably never will,” 

Megumi sniffled, and wiped his eyes on his arm.  (y/n) dropped her hand from his hair, smiling softly at him.

“You’re important to me,” She tells him.  “Even when you’re being a little shit,” She adds in a teasing voice.

Megumi’s eyes widened at the curse word, in disbelief she would say such a thing to a kid, even if it was true.  She chuckles at his reaction.

“I’m so sorry that I didn’t come yesterday,” She hums.  “I should have been here.  I told you I would be, and I should have.  It’s not okay that I lied to you.  And I will never lie to you again, alright?”

He nods his head in a small action.  A tear slips down his cheek.

“I’m really proud of you for getting all of your schoolwork done,” She says.  “I’m really proud of you for being so grown up, and taking care of yourselves all this time,” She adds.  “You’re a brave kid, Megumi.  Probably the toughest I’ve ever met,” 

More tears pool out of his eyes, dripping off his eyelashes and splashing down his cheeks, staining his shirt.  He’s sniffling as he cries, and he’s given up on trying to wipe away all of his tears.  They’re falling too fast for him to catch them all.

“And I promise I’ll always be here for you,” (y/n) reaches a hand out, cupping his small face and wiping away his tears with the pad of her thumb.  “Always.  Okay? For anything you need.  You understand?” 

“Okay” Megumi’s voice cracks.

His eyes shut tight, and before (y/n) can reach her other hand out to dry his other cheek, he launches forward.  His arms reach around her back, grabbing the back of her shirt as he hugs her tightly, crying into her sweater.

(y/n) looks down at him for a second, taken aback by the sudden action.  But she snaps herself out of her surprise, wrapping her arms around his small frame, and hugging him closely.  She held on as tightly as he held onto her.

He’s shaking slightly.  She rubs his back in smooth, slow circles, resting her chin on the top of his head as she soothes him quietly.  

It’s several minutes before he stops crying, but even still, he remains in her hold for a little longer.  (y/n) doesn’t mind.  She’d sit here with him for the rest of her day if she had to.  She’d do anything to put him at ease.

She’d do anything to build a home for these kids.  It dawns on her now, something Megumi had said about her not being family.  Perhaps they weren’t by blood, but still her heart grew and ached for these kids. They were like family to her.

They spend the rest of the day together relaxing, watching funny movies and eating snacks.  (y/n) makes them a big dinner, with plenty of leftovers for them to heat up throughout the next few days if she can't stop by.  She makes them promise they’ll eat the vegetables even if she’s not around.

That night when she puts them to bed, Megumi crawls into Tsumiki’s bed, happily listening to (y/n) read the next chapter of Charlotte’s Web, even if he’d already read it countless times.  He falls asleep in Tsumiki’s bed.

(y/n) brushes their hair from their foreheads so it wouldn’t tickle them in their sleep.  She leaves the room silently.  When she gets outside, she says the incantation to lower the protective curtain.

Her walk home feels more quiet than usual.  Her thoughts aren’t buzzing with paranoia of getting back so late, or worry that she was overstepping in the Fushiguro’s lives.

She felt content.  Calm. All she could hope was that her kids had a good night’s sleep, and that the next time she saw them they had nothing but good things to share with her. ___

taglist: @whats-humanity-lol @malinq-ashida @mor-pheus @bekahtaylorgriggs @pookiea @megumimind @thealchemical @pearlstiare @niallerhere @96jnie @purpleguk @peqch-pie @yukinemaroop @makis-girl @sadtoru

xoxo - jordie

[rose-tea-and-strawberries]

Imagine Leona after his overblot, never taking off his gloves even when he plays magift/spell-drive life he used to, yet still seeing everyone flinch from his hands. Imagine him being thrust back to when he was young, where the whispers of the staff curled around him like he wishes his mother’s arms would have, feeling like a monster for something he doesn’t understand, didn’t ask for, didn’t want to have. Imagine him, who already saw his hands as a symbol of destruction and evil and cruelty, being shown yet again that people will only ever fear his touch.

Except, imagine that the Prefect is there. Imagine the prefect is hearing these whispers, sees the flinches, and is angry. The Prefect was there- magicless and terrified- in the middle of a sandstorm, fighting to survive and fighting to make sure her friends survive, who felt what King’s Roar does when it touches your skin, who has a matching scar with Ruggie from the battle against Leona’s blot. How can these nobodies, who have never known the sting of sand down to the molecular level act like this? How dare they, who had only seen Leona’s grumpy tsundere type of care and not the scars from the fight, now act like they understand the dangers of King’s Roar?

Imagine the Prefect, caught in this righteous anger, storming up to Leona.

Imagine Leona bracing himself for another emotional wound, knowing that from anyone- he deserves the scorn and hatred and fear that you may spew at him. He knows it will crush him in a way that no others could replicate, save maybe for the tiny cub that he pretends to not love.

Imagine the prefect stopping in front of him and grabbing his hand, taking off the gloves and placing the bare hand on their throat.

Imagine the whole school stopping.

Imagine Leona’s heart stopping.

Imagine the shaking in his hands, the weakness in his knees, the tear welling up in his inner child’s eyes when you say, for all the world to hear, “these hands aren’t evil. Leona isn’t evil. King’s Roar isn’t evil. I was there when these hands were used, when they were turned against me as weapons, but I trust them, I trust Leona.”

Imagine Leona, for the first time since his unique magic showed up, feeling someone trust him and his hands completely, without any covering or barrier or safety net. For the first time since King’s Roar ruined his life, he felt the warmth of another person on his bare hand.

Imagine Leona being able to tell his younger self that someday, he will find the most stubborn, annoying, foolhearty, beautiful, selfless, kind, amazing herbivore who will give him their lives to hold in his bare hands without flinching.

Imagine Leona being able to tell his younger self that someday, someone will love all of him, including his hands.

(My first time writing something, usually I just gush and reblog to @/scared-reader-electric-boogaloo, so let me know if this sucks or oversteps a line!)

AAAAAAAHHHHHH

ASDFGHJKLYTRTTREARSAW

THIS IS SO FREAKIN GOOD HOLY GUACAMOLE IF YOU HAVE A BLOG PLEASE SEND THE @ TO ME BECAUSE EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS IS SO *CHEF'S KISS*

I've seen the trope of character A puts the hand of character B around their throat as a show of trust in a fanfic in two other fandoms I've been in and that is literally my kryptonite because it literally put's the whole "I trust you with my life" thing in a whole new context

(I've also had this WIP/blurb of Fem!Yuu/Reader doing something similar with Rook by having him shoot an arrow at an apple on her head from a distance (probably whilst blindfolded as well) and when he releases the super sharp, pointed metal arrow, she just stares right in front of her, completely straight-faced and unblinking, without even a hint of fear - kind of like this scene from The Addams Family Musical mixed with that scene in Divergent where Four throws knives at Tris)

But you know what's great about this trope being pulled of with Leona? Since he's a lion beastman - an apex predator built for hunting prey - he has enhanced hearing which means that he can hear Yuu's heartbeat and can literally have solid proof that Yuu isn't scared since their heartrate hasn't increased a bit.

And also, he loves his herbivore so much. Who needs a kingdom or a throne when he has the world?

[abysswalkersknight]

Another late night drabble! I kept seeing all these wonderful fics and headcannons of Lilia interacting with his younger self so I thought to contribute something. Eventually I hope to be able to 'get the point across' in my fics or try to make more sense of them but right now I hope you like this piece.

.............

It was a horrible sight. Terrifying. Sickening! Never had Vanrouge ever imagined he would see himself cosying up to the humans of this dreadful school, let alone the offspring of their enemy, even going as far as to raise it. At least with Mallenoa’s son he could understand, he’d been entrusted with the egg’s care and all. But he could never wrap his head after the fact that his older self willingly chose to let the human live and care for it as well as embracing that cuteness that is utterly childish and unworthy of someone like Lilia. It was maddening even to see Malleus doting on the boy or that Baul’s child decided to marry a human of all things, the world has become madness itself. He couldn’t understand, looking at that face… All he could see was the killer of their princess what had changed in all those years for his older self to see something past that, to let that cold heart of his to melt into sludge for a mere human, a mere child! It was terrifying to see someone with his face and calibre act so carefree and loving with this child, to see that even someone like him could live a life of such tranquillity despite all that was lost. Of course he’s felt fear before, when your on the battlefield fear is bound to pierce even the most hardened of souls, and it was this same fear he felt as he watches his future self, this insatiable beast, whose very name strikes fear into the hearts of both man and fae, grow ever so daft, so soft. It was like watching a wolf become some house mutt, a blade with no edge, is this what I’ll become?!

An old thing of a fool doused in hot pink, weak and growing weaker by the minute, staring lovingly at the enemy’s spawn with the prince. He can only laugh, Vanrouge had thought this was a showcase of his downfall, a punishment for allowing his friends and family to die. 

Until that night.

As he had been stewing in similar thoughts, his future self’s human (he refused to say son) must have sensed his melancholy because he sat up from where he rested his head next Lilia’s shoulder watching him play a game on his phone, Malleus and Sebek were elsewhere, and suddenly he was in front of Vanrouge reaching out with a concerned expression, he didn’t know what was happening, he didn’t realise that Silver only meant to check on his well being, all he saw was the knight of dawn reaching out with hands stained with blood. Everything was blank until a cry of pain echoed in his ears, red filled his vision and a volley of black and pink suddenly descended upon him before the phone had touched the ground. 

‘Don’t you dare touch him!’ Lilia shrieked, gripping the general around the throat before dragging him away from the boy clutching the side of his bleeding face. Admittedly he’d been on edge ever since his boys insisted on housing the general in a secluded area of Diasomnia, he knew what he was like in his youth and he’d rather not have his son around such hostility only to be proven correct when Silver fell back and blood dripped between his gloved fingers. All that pent up anxiety burst into unrivalled rage which he regrettably unleashed upon the source of all his fears, slashing and striking without pause barely giving his younger self any room to retaliate. As they both scrapped Silver did his best to try to separate the two but with the flaring pain next to his eye he was merely shoved out of the way, eventually they stopped when it took both Malleus and Sebek to wretch them apart, Lilia with only a few scratches here and there while Vanrouge was thoroughly beaten, cuts and bruises everywhere and he had a slight limp when he shook off Malleus. No words were spoken until Lilia snarled at him ‘I don’t care if you're me or anything else, mark my words if you lay another finger on my son I’ll make sure they’ll never find your body.’ With that his features softened and he turned around to tend to Silver.

The boy hissed as Lilia gently pried his fingers away ‘alright let's get a good look at that’ he murmurs taking a handkerchief from his pocket and carefully cleaned around the wounded area with some water that was conveniently around ‘oh dear, well at least it’s not as bad as it looks’ he says. Two decently deep scratches marred Silver’s cheek, Lilia worried over the one closest to his eye, had Vanrouge moved just slightly it was sure to had struck the eye itself ‘hold still now’ diving into the his drying reservoirs of magic he drew a tender finger across the scratches and under his thumb the skin knitted itself back together until it was as if nothing had struck it at all ‘there good as new!’

As lilia cleaned the rest of the boy’s bloodied cheek, Vanrouge tended to his own injuries. Lilia had not been kind in his onslaught, each blow harder than the last, fierce rage burning in his gaze, yet he watches as Lilia oh so tenderly fusses over his child over such tiny scratches, he can’t help but take back his words. His older self may be stupid and soft, but he was not weak, in fact Vanrouge recalled a time when Malenoa told him about a parent’s abominable strength when it came to protecting their child, I suppose you may be right, princess.

Yet how could it be that I turn out just like that.

[bubbles-lounge]

!Their Younger Sibling!

Summary: You had successfully escaped you're older brothers and you one and only friend Azul(Or how reader calls him Zuzu). You had were texting Yuu about meeting him with his friends, the ones you met before heading for you're brothers, and Azul. What will their reactions be?

A/N: Part 1 There's mention of a bag, you pick how the bag looks and what type of bag it is. Debating on making a series of the octavillene trio having reader keep running off and befriending the main cast. Remember to look after yourself and get rest!! Enjoy.

You put you're phone in you're bag as you looked around you making sure you're brothers nor Azul were near. You weren't worried about the other students too much since you have similar speed and strength to you're brothers, although abit weaker than them. Once you were sure they weren't near you stood up and ran for the botanical gardens, keeping an eye out for any of the first years you saw with Yuu or Yuu himself.

You eventually reached the botanical gardens, looking around for Yuu and the rest of his friends. Spotting them not to far you walk up to them.

"Hey, Yuu!"

Yuu turned around to see you smiling at him as he waved at you.

"(Name), You got here fast!"

You chuckled abit as the other first years saw and recognised you from earlier that day. You remembered each of their names roughly, the one you think was juice?? No, Deuce!

"Hey There, Your (Name), the leech twins younger sibling, right? We met you earlier on today!" Deuce smiled at you and extended a hand for a handshake.

"Yes, that would be me! You're Deuce if I'm correct." You shook his hand as he nods confirming you was right. It was bit awkward for you, not because of the people but because of the socializing. The only friend you'd ever had was Zuzu, so it felt awkward but they all seemed pretty laidback.

They all introduced themselves, Sebek seems to be loud constantly, though you were used to Floyds random yelling so it wasn't too bad. They are a lively bunch, it was quite enjoyable, your awkwardness and anxiety went quickly as you hangout with them.

"Hey (Name)."

You look over at Jack as he approaches you, you've noticed he is quite sensible probably the most sensible here.

"Yea? What's wrong?" You stare at him confused as he scratches the back of his neck and looks away.

"Don't take this badly towards you're brothers but, you're not really like them, you know? I mean it in the sense you not as terrifying as you're brothers make themselves nor do you try and make you're self unsettling like them."

Jack was now looking at me in an almost confused manner as you laugh abit at the statement Jack made. You weren't offended to be honest, you just found it funny how right he was. Epel had joined the conversation and agreed with Jack, you replied to them.

"Well, I try not to appear unsettling or anything of the sort. I'm here for abit and my brothers are protective of me. I've never actually had a friend that wasn't Azul. Its only been us four basically my entire life..."

You look at Jack and Epel sheepishly, it felt weird to tell others about you're brothers way of looking after you. It almost felt wrong to be talking to these guys, but you pushed those feelings away and looked at them. The others had at some point had joined the conversation as they looked at you with pity.

"You've never had anybody out of those three??! That must be tough...We're your friends now! Therefore you now have people out of those three!" Deuce wrapped an arm around you're shoulders as the others seemed to agree.

"Yeah, you don't seem so bad, what harm could it do?" Yuu smiled at you confidently.

You smiled at them all, this was nice. Having a group of friends like this was nice...Your phone buzzed ruining the moment of happiness you felt, you only had 5 contacts outside of the people currently around you, 2 of those contacts were your parents but they had already told you they wouldn't text you until you did a week at NRC, the other 3 were you're brothers and Zuzu. You got caught, shit.

The others look at your panicked face as you run over to your bag, they question what's wrong.

"My brothers and Azul know I left the monstro lounge. They said I wasn't to leave due to the people at this school not being trustworthy enough for me to even talk to."

The others looked at you with concern, until Ace spoke up.

"They do that?! They stop you from interacting with people like at all?!"

I nod my head as I search my bag for my phone, you grab it quickly and look at their texts.

After you had read their texts and you felt sick to you're stomach you shoved you're phone into you're bag and threw the bag onto you're shoulder as Sebek yelled.

"THATS UTERLLY WRONG. YOU'RE STRENGTH OUT DOES THE NORMAL HUMANS STREGTH. THERES NO REASON FOR THEM TO DO THAT!!"

You don't stay around much longer as you bolt for monstro lounge. You slam open the door but make sure not to scare any customers, you dint need those three anymore angry than they already are.

You think back to what Sebek said about being inhumanly strong like you brothers, it does make sense why they d-, you're thoughts were stopped by the tap on you shoulder looking at the person to see you brothers. Floyd grabs you and drags you into the V.I.P room and puts you on the couch as he starts going on about how you weren't meant to leave this place and you could have gotten hurt. Jade interrupted Floyd and looked at you.

"Elver. Did you speak to anyone?"

Jades voice was stern, you knew damn well that you couldn't avoid answer him. Not with Floyd and Azul right by.

"Yes..."

You watched there faces morph into disbelief. Now Azul and Floyd were yelling about how you're meant to stay by their side and not run off to talk with others. That's all they could yell about, not only did you leave monstro lounge like a normal human but you talked with others. Jade just let them go off at you, you don't think you've see him so angry. You knew this was the punishment, you knew they would tighten security on you.

You decide that, they aren't gonna stop you. You were 16 for fucks sake! a year younger than them. You not gonna sit idle by their side and alone, not when you now have friends. Of course you weren't gonna tell them that you just looked at the floor and listened to their yelling.

This will be an interesting time at NRC...

[atelierlili]

It's time take you back to the past

to play the shitty games that suck ass.

Some besties wanted a list of Everlark fics recs where Katniss and/or Peeta are blasted to the past/alternate universe to relive the events of the games to fix it, so here we are!

Time Is Never Found Again...Or Is It? (113,000 + words) by blahblahblah1703

Katniss, after talking to Snow in his rose garden, finds herself somehow back in her childhood home. She has seven months until she enters the arena for the 74th annual Hunger Games, along with the love of her life, who when she last saw him, was still struggling not to kill her, just perfect.

The pre-game everlark that happens here is 🤌. This is part one of a larger series. The sequel (which is wonderful as well) can be found here. This is the series that got me into this rabbit hole.

Afterburn ( 104,000+ words) by BlueMaple

Katniss Everdeen-Mellark goes to the woods surrounding New Appalachia, a.k.a the former District Twelve, on the morning of the fiftieth anniversary of the final Reaping of the Hunger Games. There, she is literally waylaid by her own past, and wakes in the past, six weeks before Primrose was first Reaped. Alone, grieving, terrified, and without a clue on how she got there (and then), she realizes that it will be impossible for her- on every level- to simply live through events as they transpired in her personal future. With no way to return her to that future, she is nevertheless determined to get back to her own party - hopefully with a lot less damage and fewer crucial casualties along the way.

This is apart of the All Sorrows Less series, which is still being updated. It's filled with wonderful side characters, mindblowing twists, a baby I will kill people for and GILF Katniss, what more can I say?

Second Burn ( 127,000+ words) by carnationhes

Katniss wonders if things could be different if she got a second chance. And then she gets one. This morning she wakes up back in District 12 after Peeta's warning of the bombing on Thirteen.

Have you read Second burn? Why haven't you read it yet? You should read it. It's amazing. Literally makes my brain chemistry tingle. I think this is most accurate depiction of a Katniss being blasted to the past with no meta explanation why. It's sooo soo soo good. I'm on my knees please read it and please read the sequel Ignite as well. This series is so underated please.

over and over (lost again) (13,000+ words) by TeaBrigadier

I died in the Hunger Games. It isn’t even the first time it’s happened. I’ve died in the Hunger Games five times now

This is a very self contained time loop where Katniss continuously relieves the first games until she gets it right. I know it doesn't really fit the theme, but this one makes my feel happy feelings and i wanted to recommend something that's isn't so long so I'm adding it anyway. Deathloops are fun!

Ongoing:

Catching sparks (19k words) (Last update 26 Feb 2024) by Silver_Cleo

The time when 23 year old Katniss and Peeta get transported from their home in what had once been Victor's Village of District 12, and into the bodies of their much younger selves, who have just woken up from exiting the arena of the 74th Hunger Games.

Here Katniss and Peeta get traveled to the past to the point where they just win their games. It's a great WIP. I love Everlark working together and being cute + humanizing the 74th tributes and their family <3

I'm probably missing a few, but these are my favourite ones so far. As much as I love the trope, I know it's a monster to take on from a writing standpoint so props to the writers!

I hope you enjoy them <3 There's nothing I love more than shining a light on amazing fics new and old. If you have recs of your own, please send them my way. I love this trope so much haha

@bbrooklynbabe @nightlocked-in @waywardangel-wilds

[catboybiologist]

Weird ramble and asking for advice here.

When talking about biology, I sometimes run into a problem where I don't even realize that the level I'm talking about is beyond what most people think about. That isn't supposed to be a brag, its literally this often-memed xkcd:

I have a point/vent here.

I'm kinda prepping to come out to my parents in probably about a week and a half. I'm terrified, tbh. I'm kinda realizing that this is me with gender too.

What I'm trying to say is that I'm going to be coming out to two people who are on the borderline of boomer and gen X who have never extensively interacted with a trans person in their life. I wrote a document to come out to them, and I'm trying to emphasize that their acceptance shouldn't be contingent on understanding. But I also know that they'll want to understand, even in an accepting, "get to know me" kind of way.

Thing is, I'm a decade or more into self exploration and realization, theory and rabbit holes about gender, synthesis of biology concepts with the way I understand gender, and they, well... they're not.

So what I'm doing now is going back to a lot of video essays, online resources, and the like, and trying to think about what would both accurately describes my experiences, but is also at a level where they won't just understand- but they won't write it off as being "overcomplicated" or "wishywashy". And that's.... hard. Because the video I want to show them is this:

(btw, I love Lily Alexandre to death, please check her out)

I don't think this'll go over their heads, but I do think they just won't pay attention because of how.... "not set in stone" it is? Thing is, this video, especially the early parts, are pretty much exactly what I want to get them to understand. If you saw my vents earlier, both of them (but my dad is louder about it) have said that people transition to "escape" something, or as a result of some kind of mental health crisis, and usually have regrets.

But I don't know how to get that through to them.

Idk. The thing I'm trying to emphasize is that I'm a biologist, and an adult, with a light sprinkling of "you have 0 financial control over me", but I'm worried about them worrying. About them making an enormous deal in their heads about something that they think is a cry for help, or a sign of something else.

Idk. I guess I'm asking for advice. Which is- what are the best "intro to trans" videos or resources for parents of adults? Most of the things I can find are explicitly aimed at parents with children much, much younger than me, and talk about things like support in schools and such. I don't even need my parents to support me, I just need them to not work actively to hurt me or themselves.

[shakespeareallanpoe]

Talks With Father

Word count: Idk

Warnings: none, unless you're terrified of Bruce being a good dad 😕

Dedication: @purp1e-ph0enix & @bradshawsbaddie

_____________________

"You mention her often."

Damian turned to look at the vigilante beside him, his finely tuned senses and years of knowing his father filling in everything Batman didn't say. There was no prompt, no segway into this conversation. They were sitting in the Batmobile while the computer program inside was rebooting and nothing but comfortable silence between them only a few seconds previously. It was offered as conversation starter and Damian knew Batman wouldn't push. In his own bat-way he was telling his son he was aware- the greatest detective in Gotham City was always aware.

Damian didn't put much stock into his father's experience with relationships, and they both knew Batman wasn't offering advice. Damian could leave it there. Batman wouldn't tell anyone and his son knew he would likely never mention it again. Damian almost took it, and if it was a couple years ago he would've. But since he had joined and left the Titans, Damian had seen the effects of allowing relationships to deepen beyond the surface level his league training always taught him to maintain. Being back with the league as their leader, he saw just how inhuman they had expected him to be. Damian rarely got the genuine moments his younger self always scoffed at, and he knew his mental and emotional health wasn't benefitting from it.

It's how he found himself occasionally visiting Gotham. At it's worst it was a filthy city that reeked of crime, and never failed to have some crisis or another. Damian was a hero here. He knew he was violent and brash but that's what the city needed when the police failed. Gotham always needed him for who he was, and Damian remembered telling his father these things go both ways. He needed Gotham as well. To take a break from the league, when that world got so toxic it became hard for him to breathe. Hard to see the man in his mirror.

Only Alfred and his father knew. Of course they knew. But Batman put a great deal of effort for the sake of his son, and allowed Damian to come and go as he pleased. It was hard for the man with trust issues and severe paranoia, but a week before he passed Dick had spoken to Batman about letting Damian go. That he would fly true if he was given the chance to spread his wings. And everyone knew the bat was trying to live by his first son's final wishes.

It didn't weigh on Damian's mind for long. His relationship with his father had greatly improved, to the point that they now worked together during Damian's visits. His father already knew. And self growth could only make a person stronger for it, so why not?

"I want to know how she is. She has yet to leave my... heart."

Batman exhaled, a sign that he'd heard his son's even response. Damian never reached out to his old teammates, but he did occasionally inquire as to how they were after the spilt. Batman kept tabs on them for these moments, and while he knew little about Raven, what he did know he always shared. Despite it hardly ever being good news.

"Raven is strong. She is with Kent at the moment and doing all she can." Batman's dark voice offered.

Damian didn't hesitate. "Just because the burden is carried well does not mean it is deserved. She is innocent, suffering, and still trying to save those who are the same. Magic is the only difference between the people and their hero."

Batman knew he and his son's tendencies towards philosophical pessimism would only darken their conversation. This world was a mess and those who fought for justice rarely got justice of their own. His first son was dead. His biological son existed because someone he cared for took advantage of him without remorse. But Batman, in his heart, desperately wanted the best for the youth of his city. All the children who could have lives he never could if only he sacrificed himself in every way for his city.

Looking across the Batmobile which had 4.33 seconds left in it's update, seeing the face that looked so much like his own at the age when he was lost in his determination to become the hero his life never had, Batman smiled softly at his son. "That doesn't mean she isn't cared for."

Damian, halfway lost in his own mind, truly a mirror of his father, had no response. Raven deserved so much more. She worked so hard and never gave a sign of the pain and pressure she had to endure. This world was a mess and those who fought for justice rarely got justice of their own. Damian's oldest brother was dead. His father hated him in the beginning because he was the physical reminder of how cruel the world could be. But Damian, in his heart, desperately wanted the best for Raven. He wished he could rewrite her fate, which seemed to be carved with blood in the stars, and give her the peace she sacrificed herself for in every way for her world.

Damian eventually found his own voice breaking himself from his musings, spilling from his mouth as if it took no thought. "Please help them. Save her."

Batman nodded, his finely tuned observation filling in everything Damian didn't say. The older man silently handed his son the keys to the Batmobile and moved to get out of the driver's seat. "Damian. The things that mean the most to us are the things we sacrifice everything for. You both care for the world and one day, you have to believe that the world will give it back to you."

"Tt. That sounds like a Hallmark marathon in the Wayne Manor was finished recently." Damian shot back lightly, grabbing the keys with a grin.

"It might have been." Batman replied evenly, holding the driver's door open while his young superhero climbed in. "I expect the car in perfect shape when it inevitably returns past your curfew."

"High expectations. We'll see what the criminal underbelly of Gotham has to say about that. Could be a rough night."

Batman stood back from his car in anticipation for his youngest's depart. "Shouldn't be a problem then. But if you want your first date to be a seaside picnic on the Wayne Beach with Alfred's cookies, I look forward to seeing the Batmobile in good shape tomorrow morning."

Damian blushed- only faintly- as only a teenager talking to his father about his crush would. "Perhaps your Hallmark movies do provide a potential benefit, however miniscule and insignificant."

Batman smiled almost teasingly. "There's no need to suffer through the cinema you don't enjoy. I've already collected quite the list of romantic outing ideas I think the two of you would like."

"Father! Do not meddle with my life!" Came Damian's indignant and completely flustered response from the interior of the giant black vehicle. He didn't want to know how long his father had been collecting romantic ideas for a potential future he may have with his Raven.

Batman snorted. "Alfred's idea. Told me to put my time in the theater room to good use. Kate is the one who went out of her way to buy Raven a series of date night dresses. I believe she called them 'adorable' in her description to me. Do you think Raven would look suitable in them?"

Damian in that moment was busy thanking every god he didn't believe in that the blackout window was up to hide his scarlet face as he violently shifted the car into gear and raced out of the batcave.

Do NOT think about Raven in an adorable purple dress

Do NOT think about Raven in an adorable purple dress

[mellkellyismyhero]

Jonathan Stroud and Kipps

You know, as a kid reading Lockwood and Co., I LOVED Lucy, George, Lockwood, and Holly. They were all my age! Every time a new book came out I’d imagine Lucy was growing up with me.

But that meant that I didn’t have much of a connection with Kipps, who was kind of L&Co.’s punching bag (affectionate). I liked him, but I never loved him the way I loved everyone else.

Now, I’m older than L&Co. Reading the books and watching the show feels like revisiting my younger self. I was expecting to love the L&Co. trio dynamic- and I did! But one thing I really wasn’t expecting was my newfound appreciation for Kipps.

Jonathan Stroud’s decision to focus on Kipps’ transition from brilliant teen agent to terrified, washed-up adult... It didn’t speak to me as a kid because I was too busy identifying with how cool Lucy’s Talent was. But now that I’m in Kipps’ age range, I identify with Kipps a lot more over Lucy. I can’t really put it in words- this is probably going to be the first of many posts of me spewing emotions and love for Jonathan Stroud’s writing skill- but I’m going to try.

Minor Kipps-related spoilers for L&Co. books under the cut.

Kipps, in the show and books, is 20-22 years old. He’s college-aged. And he cannot do the one thing that he has trained his entire life for, and needs to adjust to that. As a kid, I just kind of saw that as the same kind of “kids rule, adults drool” thing that happens in all kids adventure stories. Can’t have the responsible adults ruining the kids’ fun!

But Kipps was unusual in that you get to SEE him go from ‘competent rival agent’ to ‘technically a useless adult’. He’s straddling the line in the way that other series, where kids get to have magic because they’re good and pure or whatever don’t.

The thing is, it would’ve been easy for Kipps to be forgotten. Just let him fade into the background and never be mentioned again after book 2. But he’s there in book 3, and 4, and 5, still doing his best to fight ghosts even if he can’t see them. As a kid, I was just like ‘huh, okay, that’s a choice’ and kind of ignored him. Who cares what Kipps is doing when Lucy and Holly are having an epic argument that’s going to bring a million ghosts down on their heads?

As an adult, I LOVE that Stroud chose to keep Kipps around. I love that Kipps found a new way to keep fighting (the goggles). I love that Kipps kind of became a member of Lockwood and Co. I love that Stroud made the readers and the characters confront the reality that one day our beloved main characters would lose their Talents too, that even Lucy would go deaf one day, instead of just ignoring the generous but very real time limit the characters had hanging over their heads.

(Side note: part of my love for this series might be stemming from my complicated feelings about the Seven Wonders book series, where a kid is told he has less than a year to live and will likely spend months in debilitating pain and then... spends that year fucking around looking for magical artifacts and not actually having any kind of physical consequences for LITERALLY HAVING A DEADLY ILLNESS-)

Anyway.

Kipps is fantastic. The way he represents the inevitable future of Lockwood and Co... the way he represents the thousands of other agents who grew too old to sense ghosts and couldn’t keep fighting even if they wanted to... the way that he tries so hard to keep the kids he’s in charge of alive but can’t because he’s only one person and he’s losing his Talent...

He’s going through such a major transition and doesn’t know what his place in the world is anymore, and honestly, what early-twenties person does? There’s something there about Talents and childhood trauma and taking your first few steps into adulthood without the tools that saved your life as a child because they don’t work anymore...

In conclusion: Kipps was an amazing character, and I’m sorry I didn’t appreciate him sooner.

[alwritey-aphrodite]

hihi! i absolutely adore your tbosbas writing and i was wondering if you had any other ideas for covey!reader/ district 12!reader and sejanus? i have no specific scenario i just love the way you write them! I hope you have a great day :))

This took me forever and a half but I hope you enjoy! As always, this is dedicated to the love of my life and my secret twin @beybaldes

There’s a special side of you that not many people have ever seen, with the exception of the Covey. In the words of Lucy Gray, you have a laugh and a smile that could replace the sun. The more comfortable you get with someone, the more that classic Covey attitude starts to show itself, and you’re teasing and laughing and drinking with the rest of your cousins in the blink of an eye.

For the most part, Sejanus has cherished the brief moments where your true inner self shines through and you feel comfortable enough to tease him with an easy smile until your shyness gets the better of you and you hide your grin. He’s smitten with you, and no matter how shy or how bold you are, he’s in awe of you all the time.

Now, though, waiting with Lucy Gray and Coriolanus for you to finish altering Maude Ivory’s dress, he can’t keep the smile off his face as the sound of your voice carries through the crack in the door.

“If you keep movin’, I’m gonna keep sticking you,” you tell the younger girl, and even without seeing your face, Sejanus can hear the grin in your voice. There’s a squeal, followed by the sound of your giggles and the slamming shut of a chest. Soon after, Maude Ivory emerges in a newly fitting dress with a scowl on her typically sunny face.

“Don’t let her near you with needles,” the girl warns Sejanus before stalking off, despite Lucy Gray’s attempts to get her to do a twirl in her new outfit.

“Quit moping and sit still next time!” You call out to Maude Ivory as you leave your little workroom, the smile on your face only growing when you finally notice Sejanus.

It almost makes him blush, just that slightest indication that you’re happy to see him enough to send him reeling.

“Do you boys ever work?” You ask, a playful smile growing on your face, your delighted teasing enough to send Sejanus to an early grave.

“Not as much as you’d think,” Coryo answers, well aware that his friend has most likely lost the ability to speak the moment he saw you.

“Oh, we could put you to work,” you tell him with a wink, making the rest of your little group chuckle, even as Lucy Gray nods in agreement.

Before a tiny inkling of jealousy even gets the chance to bloom, you’re looking to Sejanus and your playful smile has melted into something softer, something sweeter that sends his head spinning. The two of you head outside to your little forest path, wanting to give Lucy Gray and Coryo some privacy and soak up the fleeting sunshine as you do. Your hands swing while you walk, brushing against Sejanus’s every few steps, both of you wanting to grab hold but neither quite sure how to make a move.

A few minutes later, you come to a fallen tree that’s in the perfect spot, sunlight streaming through the canopy of leaves like the alcove was made just for you. It’s silent, the only sounds the rustling of the trees and the animals scurrying around, neither of you quite sure what to say or how to say it.

“You make me nervous, Sejanus,” you confess to the forest floor, much too scared to look into those deep, trusting eyes of his. He panics, terrified that he’s said or done something awful and determined to make things right even without knowing the problem. Floundering for words, he sets a hand on your knee, sending shivers and flames through your body.

“You’re just so perfect I never know how to act around you,” this time you turn to look at him after you’re done speaking, watching as the terror in his eyes melts into something softer. He’s unable to speak, some unnamed emotion squeezing his throat and cutting off the connection between his brain and his tongue, but he doesn’t need to say anything because you already know, just from looking. You turn back towards the ground, leaning forward just enough to pick a handful of the flowers you had seen in all your staring earlier.

The conversation veers towards something lighter, childhood memories and favorite foods, even as your statements hang in the air like the dust motes dancing in the sunshine, and your nimble fingers thread together the flower stems in the same practiced movements of your needle and thread. You could do it without looking, but you think you might combust if you look at Sejanus for too long so you keep your head bent towards your work as you talk.

After a while, you tie together the ends of the chain, creating a perfect loop, before turning and placing the circle of flowers onto the top of Sejanus’s shorn head, your fingers gentle as they brushed against the soft remains of his curls. Neither of you say anything, but neither of you need to, and now Sejanus is the one turning away, unable to look at you as his heart threatens to explode right then and there.

[bowtiepastabitch]

On Religious Trauma

I grew up in a high control religion, and on a fundamental level, I can see myself in both Crowley and Aziraphale, ESPECIALLY at the end of season two. Let me explain. (TW for religious abuse)

Within the church I grew up in, there was a very strong expectation that you build your identity exclusively within your religion; that you see Christ as the only source of good in yourself. It's one of the things that made coming to terms with my queerness and transness so intensely complicated. I had built my entire self image on being a good perfect Christian. Even after being forced from the closet at 16, I clung desperately to that identity because it was all I'd had my entire childhood. Even in the face of direct abuse pulled straight from that belief, I still couldn't let go of the only 'good' I'd ever seen in myself. I thought I could change my dad's mind if I could just prove that I was a good Christian and prove that the Bible didn't justify his hate. He didn't listen.

It took another year and a half for me to separate myself completely from Christianity. I'd been questioning my faith since 14 and it was an enormous source of guilt and shame, so letting go of that was a long healing process. The people I grew up with now go to religious unis and volunteer at the summer camps we went to as kids. It's surreal every time it comes up on my insta, and I feel like I'm the one who escaped, who saw through the sham to what was really going on. More than that, I know in my heart that my family (father aside) are also victims in their own right. I grew up watching my mother struggle, and I watch my younger sisters grow up wrestling with these same ideas. Perhaps even more strongly, having watched my fall from grace. But I can't DO anything, because I can see the fear in my mom's eyes when I reminder her why I'm not comfortable going to church with her; she was raised, just as I was, in desperate fear of seeing the damnation of those you love. She's terrified of being responsible for my eternal torture in hell. So we don't talk about it at all, because it hurts both of us.

I remember the overwhelming pressure to evangelize and convert, even as a literal child, because it was our responsibility to save them from hell. Aziraphale isn't CHOOSING angel Crowley over the one in front of him. He still hopes he can save the one person he loves more than anything in the universe. I've been there. It fucking hurts. But now I'm here, and that hurts too. Because I can see the people I love looking at me the same way and I have to say no.

Aziraphale never had a choice. Even in the face of cruelty, he sees heaven as the good in himself. It's the only identity he has. And he's scared out of his mind.

[overleftdown]

i saw this review a bit ago and i've been thinking about it a lot. i want to talk about it. i love hilton als, good god (although how could you hate any character more than oliver? i suppose it's the reality of people like farleigh).

"...while leading a nearly completely fictive life and pretending said gallery isn't paying them to be black. or some branch of show business. authenticity is their enemy, and declaiming 'whiteness'--usually in the press--covets it, reveres it. emotional exhibitionism is all, but not truth--if they could find it." this is such a poignant explanation of what it means to be colored and to exploit said color. declaiming whiteness covets authenticity. emotional exhibitionism is all, but not truth. GOD.

this concept of what it means to utilize your marginalization--to externalize it, to remove yourself from it only until it's useful, to disconnect so ardently from that which is a part of you. it's something i've thought about a lot. als' specific words get me, "the piddling career." because it is piddling, isn't it? god, is it meaningless and pathetic. it makes me think of archie's quote, "i understand this sort of peddling you're doing, trying to catch up to these people."

when i look at farleigh, i see him the same way i see the other boys at school that try so hard to obey whiteness and everything that comes with it. i see him the say way i see my younger self, surrounded by invisible strings that i was terrified of tripping into. running away from something so uncomfortable that you'll use any self-contained currency you own. unsure of when to use your race for the sake of social credit, or when to attempt some odd form of camouflage that never really works. and there's other things that follow or maybe prelude that; your body, your name, the fabric of what makes you an individual. it's heartbreaking and terrifying all the same.

i guess farleigh is my own form of escapism, in the way that i can imagine whatever future i'd like for him. i can imagine that he learns to love, deeply and entirely, what it means to be hurt and heal from it. maybe i kind of do resent part of this fandom for unknowingly attacking my hopeful imagination. whether they hate the character or whether they create their own imaginative realities of farleigh that don't really fit into mine. i have an unhealthy attachment to this character, basically. chatterboxing, who's abt to step into the ring w me?