#and then he just says something and my brain goes whelp fuck

[dontmindme2600]

Zagreus’ voice is so hot like omg how are almost all of his voice lines attractive

[sonicasura]

Kaiju Kafka Headcanons

I said I would do a full thing on Kafka's Kaiju side. Thus here it is. I already gave some examples in my previous post where the man gets shoved into a parental role. Not talking about the tiny Kaiju that gave Kafka said form btw. This is the whole thing so let's get started.

Kafka's Kaiju side is the equivalent of a curious cat. This stems partly from how powerful he know he is and can handle threats that bother him. (Like a cat.) Kafka inspects anything that garners his interest whether it be places, animals and people.

He will also swipe items to even food whether its his or someone else's. Someone can immediately garner Kaiju No.8's interest if they offer him something, not afraid of the monster, be friendly in a genuine way, etc. He has no preference on food as this feral side will eat anything. Even kaiju meat like brain matter to intestines.

He claims whatever he likes through scent marking as his scales release a unique pheromone that gets rubbed in by nuzzling the interest in question. Only kaiju can pick up on it and it's a nonverbal way of saying 'Fuck off, this is mine.' These pheromones are VERY VERY potent since they correlate with the power Kafka wields.

Anyone who doesn't get the message will be subjected to very vicious attacks. Kaiju don't fuck around when it comes to their claims. The same goes for Kafka's as he won't hesitate to make an example out of the offender. Whatever remains are strewn up to be a morbid example to what would happen to potential offenders.

Kafka's Kaiju side is susceptible to the instinct of wanting to find a mate. This partly stems from the man himself since he did say he wants to be someone's bride in the second chapter. Can I say RIP the Defense Force as any offspring from Kafka are gonna have Kaiju blood.

And maternal kaiju can be fucking horrible to deal with. These monsters will go utterly berserk if any harm is done to their offspring. A lot of damage alongside potential deaths are often contributed to someone disturbing a kaiju's whelp whether it be a sole individual or intruding on a nest.

If Kafka finds a romantic partner then his kaiju side will mark them as well. Just like with offspring, kaiju who are protective of their mates can be very vicious. Separation tactics tend to be utilized by the Defense Force as it's the least destructive method in dealing with these particular targets.

This protective behavior will also go to anyone Kafka cares about. Whether it be people he views as his kids, family, sibling figures, parental figures and even close friends. The kaiju inside will mark them. Basically super possessive.

Going into further behavior, Kafka's kaiju will make changes to their shared form. These include tail, wings, extra appendages like arms, size to even webbing. It mainly depends on how useful these adaptations can be and try to make them permanent.

Kafka's Kaiju evaluates from an outside source such as animals to other kaiju, human half's knowledge, then finally experimentation. Adaptations that been decided on to be permanent are very difficult for the human side to will away. A struggle Kafka constantly deals with when it comes to his monster side.

Especially if it's wings, size or a tail. Kaiju No.8 is very stubborn in keeping these particular adaptations. The tail and wings being prehensile in nature with the former either ending in a hand, serpentine mouth or both via a split. Size is a more important issue since Kaiju No.8 has a preference for Medium(50 meters) to even Large(120 meters) if feeling spiteful.

Should Kaiju No.8 be in control then there are differences to indicate this. The eyes become slitted but also glow a bit brighter, posture shifts to a more animalistic kind like sitting on his haunches(cat behavior), presence of claws alongside talons and acting out instincts completely uncaring. No.8 will possess his human form if need be. (Latter would have be unconscious, willingly give control, or gets overwhelm by primal instinct.)

Simplest indicator being if Kafka grooms someone using his tongue then that's his feral side in control. He can handle the purring, nuzzling, hissing, headbutting and even grooming but the man draws the line on tongue baths. It just feels very weird to him. The least accurate tell is vocalization.

Kafka's kaiju can speak should he want to. His mannerisms are similar to the human side, aka a dorky himbo, albeit more blunt and rugged. He will also use more primal terms such as whelp, mate, hatchling or brood to name a few examples.

Some of these are accidentally used by the human side. Kafka never wanted to bury himself in a hole so fast when he accidentally calls Kikoru his hatchling. (She wasn't offended and thought it was cute despite it how weird it been.)

The feral side also fights much differently. Kaiju No.8 is calculated in his strikes and won't hesitate to use all of his body. Tearing out chunks of flesh through razor sharp teeth, goring via horns even turning his dorsal fins into long sharp blades for Sonic's Homing Attack: buzzsaw style.

Serious threats are dealt with quickly so they don't survive and become stronger. Kafka's kaiju won't even care for an interruption unless it's aimed at his core or a precious claim. You have to be a suicidal bastard for the latter since he will be extra vicious in his elimination next time.

In short, everyone is in a very wild ride with these headcanons being present. Especially if I go for Kaiju No.8 focused. That's all I have for now! Until next time, I'll see you later.

[ecoamerica]

Watch the 2024 American Climate Leadership Awards for High School Students now: https://youtu.be/5C-bb9PoRLc

The recording is now available on ecoAmerica's YouTube channel for viewers to be inspired by student climate leaders! Join Aishah-Nyeta Brown & Jerome Foster II and be inspired by student climate leaders as we recognize the High School Student finalists. Watch now to find out which student received the $25,000 grand prize and top recognition!

[bokunoheroanalysisforthefuture]

Okay, so the brain’s a bit caught up in one of my other writing projects, but I refuse to abandon this entirely. So I’m gonna just power through this and then get back to Vibing™. 

Actually, it’s kinda cute that the hero Thirteen is introduced in chapter thirteen. I wonder if Hori did that on purpose or just managed it as a fun coincidence. 

[No. 13 - Rescue Training]

So we start off on Wednesday morning (which would be April 12th/11th) at 7:35 AM. There’s a hostage situation by a villain who looks like a goddamned pokemon (my brain has made the ‘buff ditto’ comparison and now I am Shook) who is, according to Mt. Lady, a serial robber and murderer by the name of Habit Headgear. Kamui Woods, whose wood bindings have apparently been broken trying and failing to contain the guy, is tossed back on the ground as he notes the villain is strong and a quick strategist.

Seems like she and Kamui Woods have teamed up together! Or at least responded to the same villain attack again. Also, who’s this dude?

Random Mii Blaster escaped from Smash Ultimate and is now in BNHA, when will the madness end. 

Naturally, the hostages are not handling this situation super well, though the crowds watching don’t seem as worried? IDK hard to tell from far away. The buff ditto villain uses double team, no wait I mean agility, actually his high speed to show how outclasses the heroes on the scene are. 

As he announces his plans to escape, we see All Might rushing in loud enough for the stomps to be heard. He announces his arrival mere moments before he fucking snaps the villain’s neck with a handchop - or, well, not really, but damn that had to be a hard hit. All Might also managed to grab the family out of harm’s way in the process, announcing that he’s on his morning commute. 

The crowds cheer for All Might, while Mt. Lady and Kamui Woods are somewhat put out - they appreciate the help, but also worry All Might will put them out of business.

(I guess this is where all those fics that do bring up how All Might cuts down the hero job market on his own pull from? Or just coincidence, who knows.)

The police thank All Might with salutes for the help, and All Might give his own quick responding salute before he declares he needs to head off so he won’t be late. Of course, that’s when he hears about a hit-and-run (that super hearing lol) and takes off, just so coincidentally in the direction of said trouble. Despite that fact that he needs to get to work. This man.

While he’s in the air, he considers how his speed has dropped, and that he’s been weakening since he passed on his power. Not to mention that after his rescue of Izuku and Katsuki from the sludge villain, his maximum time went down. Which is not at all referencing him about to overdo it again and lose more time, no siree.

We descend into a flashback to right where we left off after the battle trial, with All Might confronting Izuku about telling Katsuki about (some of) One For All. All Might is surprised and a bit nervous? Worried? Or that bead of sweat in the flashback might be from the strain of holding the form when he’s about to run out of time. 

In any case, Izuku in the past apologizes and says he hasn’t even told his mom, but that he had to tell Katsuki something… All Might determines this might be a consequence of not being explicit enough about keeping the secret, since Izuku isn’t the type to brag or boast. Also calls Izuku too sincere, hah, isn’t that the truth. All Might says it’s lucky Katsuki thought he was joking, so All Might can forgive the slip this time, but that Izuku cannot tell another soul. 

(Stares at this.) (Looks at recent manga events.) Whelp.

Anyways, All Might catches the car of the hit and run guy (and man, that face the dude is making) while thinking about how, suitable successor or not, Izuku’s still just fifteen, so All Might had to make things clear. Of course, then All Might overhears about a hostage crisis the next town over, and, well.

We transition to right after lunch (12:50) with Aizawa announcing that that day’s hero training plans - something supervised by himself, All Might, and one other teacher. Izuku realizes it has to be a special class, while Sero raises his hand to ask what they’re doing. Aziawa’s reply?

I swear this is exactly the same shit All Might did before the battle trial, gimme a second-

Bahahahaha incredible. Though then again, I wonder if those are security cards keys to certain locations. It would make sense, though then I wonder how Katsuki and Izuku were able to get into Training Ground Beta without one… hrm…

Anyways! Kaminari, Ashido, and Kirishima end up talking about it; Kaminari says it’ll be a rough day, with Ashido pumped as she agrees, and Kirishima also pumped as he says that it’s what being a hero is all about. Asui notes that she’ll be right as home in a flood. Aizawa silences them with a glare, saying he’s not done. He presses the button to unveil the costume lockers, telling the class that it’s their choice whether or not to wear their costumes, since some of them are ill-suited for this kind of activity.

Oh boy, will this put you on the path to the hero you’ll be come… but not for the reasons you think, buddy. The joke here is trauma.

It seems like most of the class does still choose to go in costume, barring Izuku - whose costume is still being repaired after the damage done to it in battle training. However, he still has his belt, gloves, knee pads, and mouth guard (with the mouth guard being new) on him. 

Golly, I wonder why your costume needed to be replaced, Izuku.

(thonk.)

Also Tenya jkfdkjdgfkj Oh My God You Dramatic Egg. He’s got a whistle and he’s directing the class to line up by ID number so they can fill the seats in an orderly fashion. 

I’m love this boy so much. And it’s even funnier because the bus has an open layout, meaning it was pointless. Poor Tenya is in Despair, with Ashido teasing him for his efforts being wasted. 

Savage. But yeah, looks like it’s Sato, Izuku, Asui, Kirishima, Tenya, Ashido, Aoyama, and Kaminari in the front seats. And Asui - sorry, Tsuyu - just outright says she says what’s on her mind, which startles Izuku since he didn’t expect her to talk to him I guess? She tells Izuku to call her Tsuyu, then turns to him and just says his quirk resembles All Might’s. 

Izuku, being the sincere boy he is, stutters and stumbles out something that almost looks like a denial, before Kirishima, bless his himbo soul, points out that All Might doesn’t get hurt by his own quirk, so they’re already different in that way. He then goes on to state that that kind of simple, strength enhancing quirk is awesome and that a lot of cool stuff can be done with it. 

Kirishima then goes on to show off his hardening, saying that it’s good for a fight, but otherwise boring. Midoriya ‘holy fuck I love quirks’ Izuku thinks otherwise, actually sparkling as he proclaims the quirk to be neat and more than enough for going pro. Kaminari notes that heroes also have to worry about popular appeal. Aoyama says his navel laser quirk is both strong and cool, and thus perfect for heroics. Ashido then kneecaps him by adding in that that’s as long as he doesn’t blow up his own stomach.

Ashido’s Savagery: The Sequel.

In the next panel, we see Katsuki’s been paying attention to this convo, which has me wondering if this is when he was first starting to piece together OFA from Izuku’s mention of ‘getting the quirk from someone else’ and ‘like All Might’s’. However, when he is brought up in the conversation (alongside Shouto) as examples of ‘strong and cool quirks’, he feigns disinterest and looks away, trying to play cool.

(Also, he doesn’t seem to have his gauntlets on him here, though I know he’s brought one with him as seen a bit later. I wonder whether he chose to leave one of them behind or if he might have been restricted from bringing more than one by Aizawa… interesting either way.)

Tsuyu then brings up how Katsuki being so unhinged means he’ll never be popular. Katsuki, naturally, takes offence and slams his hands on the rail in front of him, demanding to know what she just said. Tsuyu sticks out her tongue as she points at him making her point. Poor Jirou, having to be seated next to someone so loud.

And the moment literally the whole discord was waiting for, Kaminari’s brutal vocabulary takedown of Katsuki, something cut entirely from the anime. Friendly reminder that Kaminari is, in fact, a major lit nerd! He’s Not Dumb! Stop Making Him Dumb In Fics! He not only has the most verbose vocabulary in the class that isn’t from the rich kids (and in some ways is even more so), he also has Katsuki absolutely pegged despite only knowing him for a few days. He Earned His UA Spot.

While Katsuki snaps back at Kaminari, Izuku is hunched over in disbelief that Katsuki’s the one getting bullied for once, but he supposes that that’s UA for you…

To the side, Yaomomo declares the conversation vulgar, while Ochako is laughing and saying it’s fun. Offscreen, I’m assuming that it’s Kaminari mock-marvelling at how he didn’t think Katsuki’s mouth could get any fouler. 

The last panel on the page is Aizawa interrupting them to announce that they’ve arrived at the training grounds, and to look sharp. The whole class (I guess?) snaps to attention.

And that’s the halfway point, so I will leave the USJ proper for next time! This has been a Savage Mina and Smart Denki appreciation post, so appreciate them, or else.

[imaginejamesandsirius]

Hey! I love your work so much. Thanks for writing this ship!! Something about Sirius getting too shy to ask james for a kiss and James is all like ‘why didn’t you just ask?’ and just cute and fluffy prongsfoot. Thank you!

Sirius knew that it was silly. He knew that. But it didn't stop him from worrying about it. Him and James had been dating for exactly fifteen days, and not once had they kissed. Sirius wanted a kiss. For Merlin's sake, he had earned a kiss after dealing with James pining loudly after Lily for the past five years-- possibly six, but Sirius didn't normally include first year in that since James had been preoccupied with pranks and his new best mate rather than chasing birds. 

They had been dating for fifteen days, and Sirius had not gotten a single kiss. He could have initiated one of his own. He should have done before it got late enough in their relationship for him to realise there was something going on. And alright, he'd noticed this after a week, and with every passing day, it felt worse. How long was this going to go on? Was Sirius going to suffer-- unkissed-- for months? He wasn't sure he'd be able to survive that; he really really wasn't. 

He'd thought about bringing it up to James the moment he noticed, but before he got the chance, unpleasant thoughts started creeping in. Was there a reason James hadn't kissed him yet? Maybe he wasn't sure about Sirius. Maybe he was fine with snogging Sirius, but not if it meant solidifying their relationship. Damn it. Damn everything. He kept turning it over in his head, and he never felt better about it. 

The bare bones of it was that Sirius wanted to kiss him, they were dating which was the perfect background for kissing someone, and for whatever reason, James hadn't kissed him yet. It was enough to drive a bloke completely mad. 

Sirius had the bollocks to cuddle up to James and heavily hint that he would like to be kissed, but he didn't have the bollocks to actually do it himself or talk to James about it. Somehow, and in some way, James was missing the signs. Sirius thought that sitting on his lap would be a pretty big sign that couldn't be misinterpreted. When that didn't work, he tried unabashed cuddling. That didn't work either, but he liked the way both of them felt, so he kept on. And now they were at day fifteen and he hadn't gotten so much as a peck on the cheek. 

"I don't know what to do Wormy," Sirius said. 

"Well the first thing you should do is talk to Prongs about it, not me." 

"That's not an option." 

Peter glared at him. "Let me see if I'm remembering this correctly, alright?" 

"Alright." 

"James hasn't kissed you." 

Sirius nodded. 

"You want him to kiss, right?" 

Sirius nodded again. 

"And you refuse to kiss him yourself or talk to him about it." 

"Yeah." 

"Whelp, those were your two options for solving this, so either do them or bugger off and bother Moony about this so he can tell you the same thing." 

"Fuck no, I'm not talking to Moony about this." 

"Why, you're afraid I'll be right?" 

"More like Moony doesn't listen half the time, and the other half, he goes and does something to try and solve it himself. I don't need that kind of meddling shite right now." 

"Kinda feels like you do," Peter muttered, and Sirius threw up a v. 

Then Sirius straightened with a jerk. "You're not going to say anything to him." 

"I won't." 

Sirius narrowed his eyes. "Solemnly swear, Wormtail. We have a sacred oath to keep secrets for each other." 

"Yeah, from other people, not within the group." 

"Me and Prongs are dating, the rules are different." 

Peter rolled his eyes, but dutifully said, "I solemnly swear not to share the contents of this conversation with Prongs until such time that they are already known to him." 

"You don't get to tell Moony about it either. He's not doing the dirty work for you." 

Peter waved his hand to include him in the pact. "Yeah, yeah, sure thing mate. This stays between you and me even though the smart thing would be for you to bloody talk to your dumb arse boyfriend." 

Sirius flicked a quill at him. He was too far away for it to land, but he knew that Peter got the sentiment. "Don't call my boyfriend dumb." 

"If he wasn't dumb, I wouldn't have had to listen to whinge for the last hour." 

"Pete, what did I just say?" 

"I'll agree to the pact, but not calling James dumb is where I draw the line. He's been a dumb arse since first year, and that hasn't changed." 

Sirius knew when he had lost but wasn't willing to admit it, so he said, "Bugger off. Just remember that you agreed not to say anything." 

"Burned into my brain, Pads. Couldn't forget it if I tried." 

"Good." 

*

James was handing him a bouquet with a bright grin on his face. "Bat orchids. Took bloody forever to find, but I wanted this to be perfect." 

Sirius didn't know much about flowers, but these were absolutely gorgeous. There were little strings budding from each flower that looked like cat whiskers, and Sirius was about to ask if they tickled when James kissed him. James. Kissed. Him. It took Sirius a moment to get his brain to work, but he kissed him back as soon as he had the wits to do so. He had to move the flowers to the side so they wouldn't get crushed between their bodies as they leaned a little closer. 

James was somehow grinning wider than before when they separated, and Sirius knew he was blushing from the heat in his face. 

Sirius cleared his throat and looked down at the flowers, then leaned in and smelled them. "Thanks, they're beautiful." 

"Good. They- erm, took ages to find. I wanted to have them for when I asked you out, but I'd been looking for like two months and found nothing so I thought to hell with it. And then I found a florist that could send me some, but it still took like, two weeks or summat, so I figured first kiss would work." 

Sirius blinked. "You were waiting for these to come in to kiss me?" 

"Yeah." 

A laugh startled out of Sirius. 

"What?" 

"Nothing," he said, shaking his head. 

"No, really, what is it?" 

"Well I erm- I'd been wondering why we hadn't kissed. Got all nervous about it. Went and bothered Wormtail over it, that sort of shite, y'know?" 

"You were nervous? What for?" 

Sirius shrugged, blushing harder even as he willed for it to go away. To try and make it seem more casual, he moved the flowers to one hand and put the other around James's shoulders and started walking them back to the castle. "Eh, worried that you were having second thoughts. Like I said, it was a load of tripe." 

"Why didn't you ask me about it?" 

"Merlin, you sound just like Peter." 

"How confusing for you," James teased. "Really though, we've been able to talk about anything. You could've asked, and I would've told you, then poof! No more worrying." 

"Yeah, just..." 

"Just what?" 

"Nothing." 

"Aw c'mon Sirius, we tell each other everything! What's a few more embarrassing moments between us?" 

Sirius thought about avoiding the question again, but he knew that James wasn't going to let up. "It's not a big deal, alright?" 

James gave a dutiful nod. 

"I er- well I sorta thought that you didn't want to because it was me. You know that I've never kissed anyone before, so I was... y'know. A little worried that you'd be disappointed when we did end up kissing." 

James cooed obnoxiously, then pressed a smacking kiss to his cheek. "Sirius Black, the most gorgeous bloke in the entire world, was worried that I would be disappointed with him. Love, you could never disappoint me." 

[popculturebuffet]

Animation Reviews: OK KO: Red Action 3: Grudgement Day

Whelp I said i’d do all three in one day and I MEANT IT. And I may do it again just to stay on schedule in the future, but for now i’m just proud and exausted to have gotten this done. And after a rather “eh it has some things but it’s mostly just there” episode” we’ve come to our last episode and my personal faviorite, Red Action 3: Grudgment day. Also as a quick note I forgot red was actually a major part of “I hope this thing flies” back in my first review, but I probably would’ve left it out as while the plot is her racing with Rad, it’s entirely a rad episode, and like plaza prom which I had to realize wasn’t important, isn’t really necessary.  One last where we are in the series thing. We’re in season 3 and as I mentioned last time, RIGHT before the final episodes and one episode before the three part final arc and unrelated but beautiful epilogue that closes out the series. I didn’t go into my throughts on season 2 but it was good, the ending was just a  really sloppy end to an otherwise good arc that i’ll get to. Season 3 is somehow even better, using it’s shorter run time to tie up loose ends and character arcs left and right and , after trying all series to do it, crossing over with Sonic the hedgehog, another thing for another time, and the final episodes, both the wrap up to the story arc “Let’s fight ot the end” and the wonderful where are they now epilouge “Thank you for watching the show”, are absolutley amazing and how you end a show.. and thankfully endings of this calibur became the trend this year given that same year star vs ended terribly and the bad taste is still in my mouth over that one but that’s a story for another bunch of reviews. The point is as I said the crew used the time wisely and wrapped up most ongoing character and story arcs that needed resolution. And given they spent two episodes on it the team decided to pull the pin on red and enid getting together, and solve one dangling issue the fans likely had all in one go. IT’s grudgment day under the cut. 

We open with Rad and Red arguging and KO looking at them in a way that just screams:”Third mom, Rad, please stop fighting”  Enid comes in and wonders why one of her two best friends and her girlfriend are fighting. She dosen’t use the term but given the kiss at the end of the episode, more on that when we get to it, the general way Enid acts about this and the way Red acts around her this ep.. their a couple at this point.  I do wish they had an episode of them becoming offical, adressing Enid and Elodie.. bucnhes of other things but I concede that the crew was blindsighted by having a smaller season and had they you know NOT BEEN CANCELED FOR NO GOOD GOODAMN RESAON, we might have gotten more renid and more stories and a full on steven universe crossover with both sides. But I digress.. CN’s managment is terrible right now... but that’s not the reason for this article so we’re moving on.  Anyways Enid wants to know why their so pissy when she arrives, and Red .. is in the right this time. Showing her growth while she still got heated with rad.

Rad did at least start it, as she simply came in to take enid jelly surfing and was kind enough to ask him to come along.. and KO implictly given he’s there and their buds now and all that. But when rad insults her again she quits the explaning and goes right back to arguing with him while Enid and KO look on awkwardly. Then Red decides to go into a mocking impression of rad, which is not NEARLY as mean as it could’ve been given the guy has canocially, had a super virus get worse because he refused to get rest something the villian that gave it to him was COUNTING on as part of his evil scheme, was left on the floor in pain over his cocoa being too hot, and once confused his 6-11 year old friend for a doppleganger despite having GIVEN said friend his nametag, though to be fair red’s own best friend also thought he was rad and gave him her number, so everyone was kind of dumb that day but still, the point is she has a LOT of ammo. In contrast Rad STARTS light saying she says words like Cowabunga (she only does once at the end of this ep and has not at any time).. before saying Enid deserves someone better and flinging her surfboard... which Crinkly Wrinkly jumps on and crashes into a wall because of course he does.  Anyways Enid is offended at this and reveals rad’s been acting like a raving dickhead to Red anytime she shows up, which were this season 1 would be on brand but after 3 seasons of becoming a better person and an episode earlier this season where he rejected his dudebro friends once and for all, who by the way: Beefer and Mega Football Baby are the worst and I hate them and i’m greatful that their final apperance is rad realizing what a bad influence they’ve been and telling their asses off for their toxic masculinity. But I will however give OK KO credit as their SUPPOSED to be obnoxious, and the crew still dialed back hteir apperances to almost nothing when they realized it went horribly right, versus Rusty whose still mildly to massively annoying, but has yet to be fixed or removed from LIncoln’s crew, despite the show having a good track record for taking problematic characters and fixing them. And i’ve gotten entirely offf topic because all three of them piss me off so much, so let’s move on.  Where were we.. ah yes, since Rad being a dickhead this consisently is now an exception not the rule, Enid rightfully demands to know why and Rad.. makes up two very petty, weak and obviously pulled out of his butt to try and cover the real reason up reasons for his actions: Red didn’t follow him back on Social Media, which is both a website and what the website is in this universe apparently which Is brilliant, and that she took the last bit of cake at prom... you know after he realized he was screwing it up and fixed it all with a homoerotic dance fight. Plaza Prom is amazing. When pressed because Rad fired his stupid friends, Rad hastily challenges red to a power battle, which I haven’t had to cover yet: Basically a hero can challenge another hero to a fight, usually for respect, to settle a grudge or who took the last bagle, and it’s a socially accepted thing called a power batttle. Really given it seems like KO’s world has not had a hero civil war, and the one time we’ve seen heroes on heroes outside of these things has been when POINT was acting shady as fuck and thus needed to be stopped, it seems like a resonable mesure, especially since most heroes just.. shrug off damage from battles and stuff after a bit.  Unable to convince her girlfriend not to punch her best friend in the face, however much he deserves it, Red gives enid her belt with her time capusles inside, so they don’t go off mid fight and gives her an air kiss. Awww. Enid bemoans the fact this is happening for such dumb reasons when KO relaizes they can just use the belt to fix what once went wrong and end this petty fight before rad dies.  First stop, the Bodega a few months ago, which KO proves both by the fact they have mean beans, which theys topped selling months ago and is one of the single best refrences this show did and it’s done a LOT, and the social media feed being from months and months ago, with Beefer bragging elodie beat him up. Ewwwwww.... I don’t wnat to kjnow what he’s into. Gah gotta scrub my brain. ONe brain scrub later Rad needs only one more follower to 100. I hear when you get 100 this happens. 

Rad asks for a follow for follow from Red, who says she dosen’t have her phone. Enid is sure she’s lying, which she is, and follows Rad for her. Also I love rad’s file photo

Seriously they use this any time they need a picture of him. It’s one of the series best runners and is only topped by homer simpsons various terrible ones and this gravity falls masterpiece as being the best stock photo used for a character.

I will use this any time I have an excuse to and I have no shame about that. Anyways they go back but

As things have only gotten more heated at the power battle, so they try the prom to see if that’ll help.  Cue PROM. Seriously why they never did a second Plaza Prom episode is really beyond me. Lot of potetinal with that concept.. plus I like episodes that put tons of cast, main and supporting, in one event together, ever since venture bros. It’s always a fun time. Anyways, Enid wants to stop a paradox but KO has already interacted with his past self.. which is the KO enid’s talking to and a great gag.  So the two seeing Rad and Red both about to go for the cake decide to pull a destraction: Enid goes over and talks to Red to hold her off and get the cake to rad, while KO does what any sane person would do: Jumps onto Rad’s face while yelling rad I love you, and Rad is clearly more annoyed he’s on his face and this has very obviously happened before. .... I miss this show.  Anyway after giving the explination that she’s a shadow clone to explain why her past self is still up there DJing, she offers to dance and the two have a good cute time until enid gets the cake into rad’s mouth and bolts.. and now we get the thing I hinted at earlier. Red talks to the other Alley Teens about it, and notes that while she dosen’t know Enid she kinda likes her.. then backpedals as the teens make faces but are clearly not fooled by they all look really creepy especially Gregg. 

WHelp I have ny nightamres for tonight. But yeah this is implied to be what got Red to ask her out in the first place. Time travel is weird and inconsietent. This does give me a chance to adress the fact that the alley teens.. sorta stopped beiing a thing eventually. I mean their stillf riends as of the season 2 openoer but red and drupe show up for their own eps or supportingroles while Gregg just kinda vanishes, poor person. That being said given this interaction and how close they were I DO think their still friends; I mean gregg and drupe was confirmed by the flash forward as they visit rad’s cafe, but Red would still be their friend, they just all likely have more stuff to do as they grow older: by the end of season 2 Drupe has a buisness and gregg is probably in college. But I expect Drupe would be Red’s best woman at her wedding. I mean gregg would probably be her best person but still. Anyways they return to the present again and.

Yeah that. Their now battling in cars and Enid decides to cut the bullshit and just ask Rad why he’s pissed at Red, asking Red to pause the fight, which she agrees to.  KO and Enid throw rad int he back of his van tied up and ask him to be honest about why he’s so pissed off. After some dithering he says he lo.. lo.. and instead of saying he loves enid, thank god i’m so sick of love triangles, may they die in a fire, like the episode hinted at it’s a swerve. and unlike a vince russo swerve which ends in A “Buff Bagwell’s mother on a forklift match”.. no really

This is actually a great one: Rad’s fully moved on and I like that, evne if the finale does leave it vauge if those bodegamen at the end are theirs or not, given Rad’s her best friend by the end and she and red would need a surrogate, it’s not a huge stretch to say Rad sperm donored for them and is still a beloved uncle and figure in their lives. Anyways the point is Rad’s real beef is.. suprisingly sweet. Turns out Rad’s still pissed at the whole “Teens humilating, burning and spanking” ko thing and Red posting it online. Which is likely to adress the fact they.. never adressed that and was a good call and a good way to show rad’s growth: he’s not jealous , he’s not mad she’s taking up enid’s time, he’s mad that his best friend is dating someone who beat up his other best friend for just trying to help them then put it online for a cruel laugh. Granted Drupe did the same thing and he not only danced with her but is on good terms with her to this day, but odds are given they see her more and she’s in fact the designer for their mission outfits in season 3, she probably apologized off screen while Red figured KO forgiving her was good enough and just wanted to forget it, running away from things as usual. IT speaks to the diffrence in their personality: Red runs hot is stubborn and takes time to admit she’s wrong, Drupe is very chill and as the series goes on very nice, and probably wanted to get it out of the way asap given she frequents the bodega more often, either in the background or foreground.  Anyways after KO reveals he actually enjoys the video as a treasured memory of when he first met the alley teens, disturbing his friends, seriously this kid needed to remerge with his edgelord side yikes, Enid gives rad a headpat and kudos for being normal and Enid decides to take all of them to go fix this.  Back in the past we’re back at the bullying and before past red can post, present red explains she should stop and after clarfying this isn’t an end of the world situation, not an unfair assumption given you know time traveler, she reveals it’s for someone unimportant.. but whose important to someone they care about, and that what they were doing was a terrible thing they’ll be ashamed of anyway. It’s a good scene that shows how far red’s come: from pushing everyone but two people awaya nd treating most like garbage in a vain attempt to avoid being who she used to be, to accepting it, finding love, and becoming friends with someone she hurt and accepting she hurt him. Rad is also clearly moved seeing that Enid did indeed choose wisely. Back in the present. 

... NO not this time. No instead red and rad are pals, talking about how shredded they are and what not, and while Enid finds it annoying, understandably, she’s glad their not trying to kill each other and dosen’t have to buy Rad’s gravestone or visit her girlfriend in prison. In the alterted timeline, which their also aware of by rad’s comment, time travel just go with it, they were already planning on going jelly surfing and invite enid, and implictly ko along. 

So we end on our main trio and Red jelly surfing, Enid and Red sharing a board before wiping out, laughing about it and then, as if you hadn’t already seen the header but fuck it. 

Yup. The subtext just became.. text. Awww. In case you were wondering, I do like them as a couple, especially after this quintology, as it’s made me realize just hwo much they click and how much chemistry they have, and by this point their just adorable, their drama gone and they can just be happy and gay together. And that’s something cartoons are doing more of and tha’ts wonderful and it’s wonderful that, with all else he had to wrap up, Ian felt confirming the gay couples lasted was extremley important, as two others are shown married in the finale. And we’ll get to the finale more in a bit, but first Rad floats by with an “I support this”, to approving smiles, and enid thinking he’s a weirdo. Also I love the meta text of having a character voiced by the shows creator say that.  KO however is sad that the video is gone but ENid says the memories will last. Rad is understandably not sad about it suggests they make new ones and we end on our quintent taking a selfie together. THE END. Before final thoughts, this wouldn’t however be the last we saw of them. The finale has a bit more as it flashes forwards a bit: the relevant part is one shows Enid take over KO’s mom Carol’s dojo. with red, the two kissing again and alllooking over some supsciously familiar kids who look supsciously like the hue troop, but are probably there great grandparents. While Red dosent’ show up again after that, and could’ve gone back to the future eventuallyf or all we know, I like to think she stayed, and that as noted above, she and enid had kids together with Rad’s help given the similar looking kids we see running the bodega... which admitely was kept vauge by Ian on purpose so fans could draw their own inclusion so that’s the one i’m drawing; rad is still there for them aand still family to them, but isn’t with Enid in a romantic sense, if you think diffrently that’s fine. But My ending is these two crazy kids worked it out and are now happy ever after. and that ain’t bad.  Final Thoughts: A fantastic episode with TONS of great jokes, call backs and a great resolution , showing off Rad and Red’s character development greatly,f ixing a possible plot hole and giving fans the kiss that many of them had wanted for some time. ONe of the series best I can’t gush enough about it but I shall stop for your benifit. If you liked this review, subscribe for more, check out the backlog via the convient pages on my blog, and shoot me an ask, wether it’s to suggst an episode or just to ask me about my opinons or yell about them or ask what I think about certain shows or what i’ll cover. And until next time, later days. 

[meirimerens]

If you're accepting fandom questions could we have some elaboration about those mgs jupiter family alaskan daydreams please? Also your amazing TEW art got me into the series so thanks, I'm liking it a lot!!

first of all, i’m so deeply honored that my art could get you into a game, and also : god i’m fucking sorry lol

second of all

oh god oh fuck alaskan daydreams time

okay so long /, the read mores don’t work, you’re gonna have to bear with it

so tldr i have… EXTENSIVE imaginated stories about dave, hal and sunny living in a little remote cabin in alaska. 

BACKSTORY 

i’d imagine it’d come somewhere post-mgs2 even though sunny is already a bit grown so maybe like just disregard canon OR imagine a different timeline i don’t know, and it’s from a place where hal and dave don’t have anything to do after the mgs2 incidents (so no mgs4 and love of god NO accelerated aging i can’t deal with this), and there is this atmosphere of… “we’ve been sticking together for so long, i can’t see ourselves just parting ways (plus we have a kid to raise and i can’t imagine raising her alone) so how about we make the rest of our lives together” and dave is just like… “hey, we’ve been running all across the country, jumping from shitty motel to shitty motel to shittier apartments, and i have this cabin i once lived in, how about we just all move into it and re-inhabit it” and that’s just how it starts. 

THE CABIN

it’s a cabin i have extensively thought about (because i’m obsessed with cabins and being a hermit, so that helps). it’d be near the shore of the Twin Lakes, Alaska (taken from the canon fact that this is where snake lived pre-MGS1), so they’d live off-the-grid and in almost-self-sufficiency (they become more and more self-sufficient as time goes on and they make more adjustments to the cabin). 

i imagine it would look similar to Proenneke’s cabin (which incidentally is also near Twin Lakes), maybe on the other shore, all wood with a vegetation/moss roof + a slight porch/elevation to protect the entrance from a bit of the snow. it’d be surrounded by wooden little dog kennels/crates for the huskies (more on that later) similar to the ones in [this video] around the 0:59 min mark (warning for animal death/general stuff that goes on in a trapper’s lifestyle for the vid).

it here’s a floor plan of the cabin, not to proportions because i’m just shit at it :

(good luck reading that)

not pictured : when sunny was smaller (before the addition), her bed was like a little shelf just above the big bed (that hal and dave share) with little like “walls” so she doesn’t fall and a thick mattress, which was discarded when she got her new room.

later would be added an outdoor kitchen and a chicken coop (more on that…….. later)

EATING THERE

as i said, they’d first be living in semi-dependency : every ¾ weeks they’d have to go to Port Alsworth/Anchorage or somewhere else to stock tf up. Snake would fish (you can fish for subsistence if you’ve been living in Alaska for over a year according to law) and hunt (seems to be the same type of law when hunting for food, YES i’ve researched this, leave me alone) for food. As he has done odd jobs to afford his cabin, I imagine he’d have done crabbing, and would show up to help on crabbing boats from time to time to get some of them crabs.

later, I imagine they would get 4 rescue hens to get some of them fresh eggs. snake would build a chicken scoop from forest wood. 1 of the hens wouldn’t be able to make eggs because she was traumatized from the industry but they still took her in because she was close friends with the other hens and they didn’t want to separate them. 

I imagine Snake had been growing his own herbs in the kitchen but maybe they’d get a greenhouse ready.

they’d go foraging for berries, fruits and mushrooms according to the seasons and make a SHITTON of jams and preserves.

LIVING THERE

i imagine there would be a lot of solidarity with the surrounding populations. for exemple, Hal would help set up and manage online dictionaries for Iñupiat, Yup'ik or Alutiiq languages with the local communities, maybe help wire up some schools, things like that, and as thanks some people would go check on them and give em veggies or something.

THE DOGS :

Snake is getting them.

since we don’t know what happened to his huskies around mgs1, i suppose/guess they were at some time confiscated from him, so first, he’s get a lovely husky female from a shelter (i also have long thought about how he’d never go to a breeder and only adopt, because the whole “creature created with a man’s ideal in mind” hits a bit too close for him you feel) that would later be revealed as pregnant with like 5 puppies (it will come back later as relevant as promise). Then he’d do his best to regain contact with his huskies, maybe setting up a call on social media (THIS WILL BE PART OF A BRAIN ROTTING DEGENERACY I WILL EXPAND ON IN A MINUTE) to find them again. i imagined he would get to see one of his old huskies, who has well aged, who was adopted by some nice nice people. then said nice people, after his visit, insisting on him getting his husky back because “since you left she hasn’t been herself, she refused to eat. we think she misses you too much. we love her tons and it breaks our heart to let her go, but we think she would be so much happier by your side” type of deal, i’m fucking crying just thinking about it.

of course, once his team is back in shape, he’s run the Iditarod again. Hed keep contact with hal over walkietalkie during the race. hal would jump in his arms when he crosses the finish line, the pic would circulate in the news. it’d be cute i’m saying.

THE HENS :

as I said, adopted, in a little scoop snake built himself. they give eggs. sometimes they let them roam free and they bully hal when he peels vegetables (i’ve drawn smth about this). sunny feeds them in the mornings. things are good.

MORNING ROUTINE :

Snake wakes up around 5AM because he don’t need no sleep and goes to his huskies. feeds them. then make them run. when he gets back around 8 to 8:30, hal is still asleep. snake makes breakfast. the scents wake hal up. things are good.

SUNNY?

Sunny is taught by snake how to chop wood. he makes a tiny axe for her tiny hands. he and hal teach her how to swim in the Twin Lakes. the waters cold but she grows immune to it, strong and stronger. she learns how to differenciate which mushrooms and berries are edible.

they try to send her to school but she’s WAY too advanced and is bored to death. she stays at home. she’s outside all day or she learns astrophysics with Hal, who’s taking online classes in his free time. she learns some Athabaskan languages at a community class once in a while, she makes some friends.

HOW’S THE WEATHER

They go on hikes a lot. Often, and long ones. At first, sunny is in a little baby back carrier (i have drawn about this), then she walks just right. Alaska has gorgeous national parks, they explore them, year after year. They arrive in a town, exhausted and beat, they find a hotel room. It has a bathtub and warm water. Hal is OVERJOYED.

in the earliest hints of spring, snake takes them to Fairbanks through the beautiful alaskan railroad. they see the most beautiful and powerful of northern lights during the full season. hal and sunny can’t tear their eyes from the skies.

THIS IS WHERE I GO CRAZY GO STUPID.

ok…. so bear with me.

i mentioned an internet/social media presence.

it’s because in a deviation of this daydream, snake has a little youtube channel (and an instagram to go with it).

it’s not much. it’s really not, but hal has a few cameras and more that he finds and fixes.

it’s mostly lowkey, chill vlogs. stuff like 

“slow alaskan winter day (no talking)” 

“sprintime berry picking ( + jams recipes!)”

“alaskan summer outdoor fire cookout ( + wild moose and caribou near the lake)”

“denali national park hike (day 1)”

stuff that like you know. as well as some more…

“i ran the iditarod (and won)”

“we got hens (building a chicken scoop, meeting the rescue hens and more)”

“musher’s morning routine (i’d recommend you didn’t try this at home if you are not the genetically engineered clone of a super-soldier, for your sake)”

and as you guessed…

“so our rescue husky was pregnant… (i’m an idiot who didn’t notice, trip to the vet, building a whelping pen, whelping, bottlefeeding tiny pup + all the puppies’ pictures!)”

where dave would teach hal how to bottlefeed a puppy and you’d be able to hear hal’s “oh god oh god oh god oh god”s from out of frame as the camera focuses on dave’s hands holding his to have him perfectly cup the puppy in his palm and carry the bottle. this type of deal.

then follow-up videos of the puppies climbing the bed where hal is, playing on his gameboy. he chuckles nervously and then heartily when a puppy licks his face.

some winter days, the videos have snake bringing all the huskies in the small cabin. some of them sit calmly on the wide bed where hal studies his astrophysics.

and an instagram with wilderness pictures… all except a few taken by hal. some of snake posing in front of the snowed in cabin. some of warm drinks made on winter days. you know the deal.

and they’d have such a nice… positive… lowkey and easy-going comment section. dave would reply to a lot of them. 

he’d get quite a share of “hey man, i love your vids so much, thank you for posting this content. i was wondering, sorry if it’s a bit too personal, are you and your roommate dating? you two seem very close, but i don’t want to assume anything 😅 absolutely love your content either way, you’re the only youtuber i have notifs on” to which he’d reply “thank you so much, really appreciate it. and we’re not, we’ve just known each other for a long, long time. we’re aware two straight guys raising a child and living together isolated makes for a bit of confusion, but it’s totally platonic between us. thanks for sticking around.” but one day he uploads a vid that’s like 

“crabbing in juneau ! + life update (please read description)”

and the desc + the first 20 seconds of the vid is a text superimposed over embarassing pictures of hal and it reads “hey all / quick personal update, i’ll make it quick / otacon and i realized we loved each other / (as more than friends that is) / so if we seem just a bit closer in the videos from now on this is why / no idea how this is going to turn out for up / but yeah. if he seems a bit more affectionate it’s because we’re dating now, or something like that / and to everyone whom i told ‘it’s just strictly platonic between us’:  / well. ha ha. whoops. / anyway thank you for reading / enjoy the video” and all the comments would be like “that’s so dope i’m so happy for you” and other “tbf we saw that coming” and snake would smash that like button on these comments.

and he’d have a video of the whole iditarod race as taken from a camera on his jacket/on his sled… and he’d have videos of him filming hal film the landscape through the window of the train during their trip to fairbanks… and of hal and sunny in said train sharing a tangerine… and of him building a little axe for sunny…. and he’d always ask her if she is okay with being on camera, and when she’d say no he’d make sure she doesn’t appear on here or add a cute husky sticker on her face so she’s not seen.

just lowkey. chill. upbeat. simple life moments. he’d disappear off the internet for a month because he’s just enjoying the life and when he’d come back everyone would be very understanding and glad to see some cool pictures or vids. you know? just chilling. just chilling. just living.

one day before a “hiking through lake clark national park” he has the same little life update thing and it goes “hey / so otacon and i got married / sunny and aksinya [rescued pregant husky] were our flower girls / otacon cried / i cried / anyway, enjoy the video” over pictures of the tiny alaskan wedding. and it’s well.

[ecoamerica]

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[airlock]

so, folks, I’m here to start another heinous text post series!

once again, we have results on a FEH poll -- and once again, IS has fucked up the vote counting beyond repair, leaving me filled with desire to tally things up nicer and properer. which I will try to do anyway, but the only numbers published were the ones above their top 100, so I guess we’ll technically have some missing information

but then, I thought, hey, while I’m at it, why don’t I offer some pointed critique as to whether the most voted characters deserve their votes?

let’s start with the professors. below the cut: the top 15 most wanted teachers in Fire Emblem, and whether they are any good as professors!

#1: BYLETH (10574 votes across all genders and forms)

yeah, yeah, that figures; if you don’t want to think too hard about this, why not go with the character who is only known as Professor, right?

that said, I’ve had classes with professors whose facial experssions never change and whose dialogue choices don’t matter, and let me tell you, regardless of who was controlling them behind the scenes, I can’t recommend that experience

#2: ROBIN (3110 votes across all genders)

ehm, sure? I mean, if taking over the plot and arbitrarily succeeding at everything you try are teachable skills, sign me up I guess-

#3: CECILIA (2426 votes)

our first extant personality is here, and not a bad choice at all! I mean, if her curriculum is whatever Lilina is doing, then I’d learn happily. even if she can be astonishingly blunt and I happen to have weaknesses and insecurities-

#4: CAMILLA (1303 votes)

look, I get it; those of you who played fates are ever so often telling me that, despite all the hype, there’s an actual character there somewhere beneath the slab of meat. I’ve heard you tell me a million times by now. but please, by all means, explain to me what this can possibly represent if not 1303 people with a teacher kink

and yeah, I hope you’re bracing yourself for that already, because we’re going to be running into multiple characters who are obvious horny votes. potentially even some who are sneaky horny votes -- like, sure, Cecilia is a good teacher, but she’s also the series’ first bangable teacher, and I have no way of knowing where one ends and another begins out of her 2426

#5: IKE (1121 votes across all appearances)

what’s there for him to teach, anyway? how to get away with yelling at a foreign monarch whose help you need? how to do handstands with a sword? ... actually, you know what, sign me up for both of those, even if this is basically an additional horny vote

(pew pew peeeeeeeeeeew I went there)

#6: LYN (877 votes)

er, I don’t even... are people counting it as “teaching” if she sometimes talks exposition at the player character? I mean, even as far as that goes, exposition usually falls to the other people in her team anyway...... hmmmmm

like yeah, regardless, she’s passably nice -- opinionated, sure, but that doesn’t usually grate much -- and dedicated to self-improvement... like, it’s not that she has any outstanding qualities for a teacher, but she’s already a better candidate than probably half this list

#7: CLAUDE (869 votes across all appearances)

869 votes total, of which 619 are for his post-timeskip appearance. nice. (and also, booyaka booyaka)

... I guess you can accuse this one of being a horny vote also, because I mean, it’s claude, he does that to everyone -- but considering that Dimitri didn’t get into the top 15 despite what Erica Lindbeck would have wanted, I think it’s safe to assume that this is at least partially about Claude’s brains.

that said, though, being clever doesn’t alone make someone a good teacher, so, what does he really have going for him? well, he’s very eloquent -- although he’s never struck me as the good-at-being-the-center-of-attention type. and he’s funny, which is a thing that a lot of people look for in a teacher, although let me tell you, years of cram school have really shown me to only want that in a secondary capacity,

... wait, on second thought, how many people voted for this just because of Joe Zieja?

#8: SHANNAM (852 votes)

wow, I can’t believe 852 people have been completely duped! ... well, he did accidentally teach Mareeta how to Astra, but that sounds like it had nothing to do with what he was doing at all. I guess it’d be nice to discover a hidden talent just like that, but it doesn’t seem to be something we can rely on Shannam for. just like everything else

incidentally, I’m told there’s going to be a lot of random Jugdrali nobodies on the next categories too -- I’m guessing that must be the newest FE Reddit mob prank. too bad there’s probably not going to be a category that Dorcas can take over

(in case you’re wondering, the actual shannan has a modest 171 votes to his name)

#9: MANUELA (851 votes)

I’m not going to call this an outright horny vote, but one thing I can tell you all for sure is that nobody who’s voting for this wants to have an actual class where things get done

like, sure, she’s not without her share of admirable wisdom, but we’re talking about someone who openly felt like jumping into a lake when someone told her they look up to her and think she has made good decisions

#10: TITANIA (818 votes across all appearances)

the very first character on this list I can’t fault or make fun of at all, and it’s taken us the entire top 10 to get there. bravo, Fire Emblem fans. and bravo IS for splitting the tellius votes again, making her rank even worse on the official list

#11: EDELGARD (766 votes across all appearances)

what. I mean, sure, she’s a fantastic public speaker, but like, I hope you haven’t had enough yet of the teacher who boasts about how they WILL fail you

#12: SETETH (733 votes, possibly with uncounted change)

being taught by seteth is, presumably, like being taught by snape, minus all of the venom. solid choice, I suppose!

plus, if we’re following up on the Joe Zieja thing, I’d really be lining up to take classes from Mark Whitten. or Allegra Clark. or Christian La Monte, but that’d just be because he’s adorable and I’d watch him doing like anything

(get your mind out of the gutter)

#13: CANAS (685 votes)

I’m like, at least halfway sure that’s the one I voted for. hell yeah!

what’s there not to love? sure, he might be a spot awkward, but that unmatchable passion for knowledge is one of the best traits to have as a teacher, not to mention that he’s humble, happy to teach, and even good with kids! er, other people’s kids, that is. kids other than Hugh

(technically, he’s also voiced by Joe Zieja, but eh, I doubt anyone’s thought of that)

#14: ATHOS (664 votes)

if Seteth was the Snape pick, this is the Dumbledore -- again, without the venom, if he does have skeletons in his closet. that said, he forgets to eat just because he probably doesn’t have to anymore, so y’know, brace yourself for how that translates into keeping the class organized

(incidentally, his student Pent just barely missed my cut, as he is #16)

#15: LUKAS (647 votes)

you know what? it’s not that Lukas isn’t kind and passionate for knowledge and a bunch of other things that make a good teacher, but I regret to say I am 100% calling this both a horny vote and a voice actor vote. a horny for the voice actor vote, if you will. you’re not looking for a class, you’re looking for an ASMR roleplay of one

HONORABLE MENTIONS (highest vote in their continuity, without reaching top 15)

Maiko (622 votes): I haven’t played TMS#FE, so someone else will have to gauge the extent to which this is a horny vote

Marth (544 votes across all appearances): look, marth’s whole thing is how he’s just a naïve whelp standing on the shoulders of giants, so let’s be real -- you want Jagen to be your teacher. and hell yeah, so do I

Plumeria (400 votes): holy shit, look, 400 people who aren’t funny at all. like not even a little bit

Eirika (363 votes): it’s strange that she’s beating out the plethora of proper teacherly characters in Magvel, like Saleh and Duessel. I guess the upshot is that she’s never going to catch you cheating in a test?

unlike what I normally say on my heavily opinionated text posts, I’m eager to hear what you all have to say about all that -- this poll is a lot less fun than the discussions it raises! so yeah, who deserves all the votes they got here? did the one you voted for make the cut? are you on the defensive because I’ve seen right through you? let me know in the replies and reblogs!

[mynameisdreartblog]

Structural Isomers 2

Leo: 2,3-Dimethylheptane. It’s just… my life is so average that I gotta force myself into others’ situations; how else am I gonna get a thrill? Do you feel me, Viz? <The amusement park ride begins to take off, revealing the mildly broad view of the Guatemalan cityscape. The smell of barbeque holds back the tears Oro was ready to shed because ferris wheels strike a particular emotional nerve for him.> «Uh… my advice is that what you’re doing isn’t necessarily a bad thing. To be philosophical, nothing anyone does is bad.» Even murder and like, murdering children? «Yeah, not even that can constitute you as a bad person. And that’s true ‘cause everyone alive now has come here with a purpose, and those purposes can manifest in many ways in our lives.» <The carriage buckles a bit, enough to make noticeable the snot on Oro’s hand> ...You sound like you’re heading into some wacky territory, but I’ll bite. <Viz takes another bite into the corndog that seemingly materialized from his pocket> «So, because of this highly encoded model of fate, that means that even the worst shit that happens to you happens for a reason.» Even cancer and like, terminal cancer? «Redundant, but yes.» Hmm… <Oro takes a small bite of Viz’s corn dog while he’s distracted> I think there’s some moral holes in that, Viz. «It’s funny ‘cause that isn’t real either!» Okay, you’re just fucking with me now; may Jesus find your lost soul. «Sounds like you can’t see past yourself!» <The carriage buckles again but harder, knocking the corn dog out of Viz’s hand and revealing the loogie Oro was hiding.> So you’re saying that it’s commendable for me to put myself where I don’t belong? «Hold on, I never said that, but… actually, you should just be proud for who you are. Take yourself as you are, and you can then begin to do the same to others. Forget about the idea of souls and deeper selves entirely.» Whatever you say, homie.

Taurus: 3,3-Diethylpentane. «Gresham.» <He peeks his head from washing the dishes to divert attention to the voice that called him> What is it, Sanjay? «Hmm, I was gonna ask you questions about how nonsensical this world is, but my mind immediately shifted to asking you how you got to this point.» This point? Like, the quality of life I possess currently? «What else?» I would’ve preferred to point out the ridiculousness of this whole ordeal, but I understand your shift. Shoot! «Do you think the ways you’ve gotten to where you are now were… unethical?» There’s a lot you’re holding in your mouth when you ask a question like that. As a lover of difficult questions, I won’t answer that until the day’s done. «Uh-» No complaining, or I’ll cut your pay by 30%. <Sanjay thinks to himself> That’s exactly what I wanted to talk to him about: He has to be aware, right? There’s no way his skull is that dense, and his jokes are too clever! <Gresham finishes washing the last remaining plate and slides it atop the rack. Afterwards, he walks back to his usual position in the restaurant and waits for any new service.> [...] <Sanjay flicks his used cigarette from his mouth and onto the elaborate ashtray outdoors. In impatience, he goes back inside and demands the accountability he thinks he deserves> «It’s been three hours and nobody has shown up; you want to start removing that answer’s date back?» <Gresham breaks his inhuman concentration to make a firm statement> Clean up your ashtray first. «Are you teaching me an ecological lesson? Is this some lesson of your Tantra?» No, I’m just conscious about any numbers of fires that could emerge from cigarettes. «Fine.» <As Sanjay begins to go back outside, Gresham speaks again> Trust me, I wish I could escape the clutches of this cast we thrive and suffer under. However, no matter where I go, the world still refers back to where I came from. Is there value in not persisting forwards but backwards? <Sanjay looks back with hesitation, thinks briefly “the Manusmriti?” but scoffs at his datedness> Also, If you walk out, I’ll assume you’re doing terrible things, so don’t. «What about the-» The ashes will know where to go. «Why do you put on this faux mystic attitude? You’re a restaurant owner!»

Aquarius: 2,6-Dimethylheptane. <Aukai finds herself awake in her unsheeted bed, further disorganized beyond possibility. She forcefully motions her lips and breathes words of lucid wisdom through her dry chords.> There’s an anxiety that grips me sometimes, and it’s that every passing second I don’t recognize the artistic potential of something, it gets lost to time. What I fear the most is my head getting cracked wide open, losing consciousness, and awakening to a future that robbed me of beautiful scenes for new pieces. «This anxiety seems… unlike you.» <Aukai is surprised by the fact that her client is awake. Fear would gain control of her if it weren’t for him snoring afterwards, indicating it’s sleep-talking> Men are more beneficially judgmental when they’re asleep, huh? Whelp, I can leave while the night’s still middle-age. <Aukai gets dressed, particularly struggling to get her galoshes back on to weather the incoming rain. Once outside, she dashes through the rain almost oafishly, betraying the expectation of feminine grace. She thinks to herself> Even beyond how ridiculous it sounds, the life of an artist is a religious one: One where we’re conflicting our reality with the one produced on canvas. Well, that’d make the process more like the foundations of a religion than the application of it. The completeness isn’t there yet, but hopefully I can figure it out by the time I’m home. <The moonlight becomes secondary as the artificial lights create new scenes at every corner, torturing Aukai’s poor, traumatized eyes. She simply looks into her hands to avoid all these temptations.> [,] <There’s now tears mixing in with the raindrops, and on the way home, Aukai is stopped by an obstacle she couldn’t see coming. Facedown in the asphalt, she looks up to see a beautiful scene, etching itself into her eyes to haunt her next gig.> G-goddamn you <Aukai pounds her fist into the ground.>

Pisces: 2,2,4,4,-Tetramethylpentane. <Maghazi is walking down the crowded afternoon streets of Dakar, gleefully filling his lungs with the smell of pollution and fried fish. Here, he feels at one with the natural world, leaving no space for false misconceptions of the monism he lives and, well, breathes. Here, there’s people he can both condescend and praise, leaving ample room to leave a web of both shrinkage and growth. His baggy pants are scruffed from the leftover paint of the bricks he vaulted and leapt over for the style of the action: Something to move the body he believes serves no purpose other than preserving the valuable brain.> Hmm, my ears are pointing me somewhere ambiguous: 20 meters away. <It appears he’s detecting something his senses designated as important to him. Despite this, he was never really the opportunistic personality, at least never one that took what was in front of them. Maghazi takes more determined steps, inching closer to the source> If I had to guess, it’s likely a drone chip. They don’t exactly make their existence a secret <He rubs a special knob on his glasses, enabling a process we can’t witness or understand> …Found them. <Maghazi stumbles upon the source, which is a group of teenage boys in an alleyway kicking around a hacky sack, which he believes to be the source of the signal. Wondering how to approach, Maghazi comes to only the most optimal method> Oh, it looks like I’m substituting today. «Man, who are you talking to?» You guys: Who else? ²«Nobody agreed on that.» I never said it was democratic. All I need now is to be in this space and access to that hacky sack. «Get your own.» What if I told you it was an explosive device ready to go off and I was the only one who knew how to disarm it? «We’d die happy then.» <Maghazi is irked as there’s no other plans of approach left. In defeat, he walks away with a hunched demeanor. He thinks to himself how humorous it’d be if the hacky sack blew up like in his absurd hypothetical, but he’s quickly disappointed by the unpoetic reality> Nothing’s gonna happen.

[phantomphangphucker]

You Can’t Keep A Phantom In Mind - Phic Phight

Prompt Creator: @kinglazrus Prompt: After getting hit by his parent’s newest invention, Danny discovers he is trapped in Phantom form and can’t change back. Summary: Danny is hard on peoples brains and he’s not ok with that.

Warning: mild angst

“Uh dude, what the fuck are you doing?”, Tucker asks as he and Sam walk up to Danny Phantom, not Fenton, opening his locker door. Danny turns to them, “my parents happened that’s what, this is the last semester of school and I’ve decided I’m just fucking done. But you know what’s fucked? No one has even batted a damn eyelash, no double takes; nothing. Not even Valerie has called me out”. Sam and Tucker look around the hallway and notice that he’s right, “Wow, this is kind of sad actually”. Danny nods at Sam, “I don’t even know if they just think I’m in costume for no reason or if I have some weirdass affect on people”.

Danny flings his bag over his shoulder and the trio walk to class. On the way there Dash walks up, “hey Fen-”, Dash cuts himself off as he tilts his head at Danny. Blinking a few times and shaking his head, Dash just walks away. “Ok what the fuck”, Danny flat out glares at Dash’s back as he goes up to Dash. Stepping in front of Dash, “did you have a fucking aneurism or something, Dash?”. Dash shrugs awkwardly, “I don’t know dude, I just really don’t want to hit you now. Somethings up with you I think”. Danny just gapes at Dash as he walks off, turning to Tucker, “you have got to be fucking me”. Tucker just shrugs as they rush off to class.

Lancer looks at Danny only once as he enters, he raises an eyebrow but shakes his head. Danny at this point just wants someone to damn call him out, so he doesn’t even bother grounding himself; just floats a bit above his chair and lets his hair float about. By the end of class Danny is just writing his notes with telekinesis instead of his hands, while Tucker and Sam both gape at both him and the rest of the class. As the bell rings Tucker leans over Danny’s shoulder, “dude what?”. Danny shrugs, “I really have no fucking clue dude, but I am so taking to Mr. Lancer. That guy won’t lie to me and he honestly is rather trustworthy”. Sam sighs as she drags Tucker out, “well whatever’s going on, it would have been nice to know this along time ago”. Danny nods at them as they go, before making his way up to Mr. Lancer.

“So, I know I’m not the most forthcoming student but do you have the slightest clue why the hell you and the rest of the school haven’t called me out on my appearance?”, Danny leans his hip against the teachers desk, making a show of being non-threatening. Lancer shuffles around some of his papers and studies Danny’s appearance before answering, “well, it’s hard to describe Daniel. As soon as I look away from you I just forget. Then when I am looking it’s hard to even think about it. I’m aware but not quite sure what’s going on with you. I’m curious but not enough to actually ask”. Danny shakes his head, “that’s insane, explains so damn much though”. Mr. Lancer shakes his head and blinks a bit, “now Daniel I know you have other classes as do I so, if I’ve satisfied your question you should get along”. Walking out Danny looks back at him, “Uh, thanks I guess”.

Catching up with Tucker in his next class, “so dude, what’d he say?”. Danny shakes his head and laughs, “apparently he literally forgets when not looking at me and can’t even think about it when he is. Completely fucking absurd and I feel like I’m fucking mind controlling people in mass”. Tucker slaps his back, “fucking sweet man, new power!”. Danny rolls his eyes, “something tells me this isn’t new and dude, it’s fucking invasive not cool. I’m quite literally fucking with peoples heads”. Tucker just rolls his eyes as class starts.

During lunch, Dash walks up to their table fully intending to dump his tray on Danny but just stops when he sees him. The trio watch as Dash opens and closes his mouth a few times and just walks away, “wow dude, anti-bully magic boy, that’s what you are”. Danny slugs him, “it’s still fucking wrong, but I won’t deny it’s handy. I seriously hope this works with my parents”. Sam sighs, knowing how Danny is, “of course you of all people would be bothered, Danny. But I think this is good, just like everything else. Don’t abuse it. You’ve got a reason today, so chill”. Danny just shrugs awkwardly as the bell goes off.

In fifth period Skulker shows up in class, everyone but Danny books it out of there and Skulker stops short of shooting Danny, “Uh whelp I’m not one to question your ways but this seems rather reckless even for you”. Skulker moves his hand up and down Danny’s Phantom form as Danny snickers, “turns out I’ve got some mind control shit, none of them can actually really tell or remember how I look right now”. Danny chuckles as he shoots Skulker, “I really should pay more attention to my parents shit before I touch it”. Danny just shrugs as he lets Skulker pelt him with an ectobomb. While Danny fires back Skulker replies, “you are very reckless ghost child, but that ability is quite impressive. You’re even more desirable now!”. Danny laughs as he kicks Skulkers head off, “I’m starting to think you actually have a thing for me”. Skulkers scowls at Danny as Danny sucks him into his thermos. Danny just shrugs as he straight up phases through the walls and floats into sixth class to avoid being late.

Star, who sits next to him, jumps and then looks completely puzzled, “can you run really fast or something? Where’d you even come from?”. Danny sighs and rubs his temple, muttering “god this is a mindfuck, literally”, then turning to Star, “came from fifth class”. Star just nods and accepts this answer.

Danny has final period with Lancer again and he can’t help but feel sorry for him. Lancer has made a habit over the past years to stare at him to make sure he’s paying attention and that is resulting in a lot of rapid blinking and head shaking today. Danny mutters to himself, “he’s going to give himself neck cramps at this point”.

Halfway through class there’s another ghost attack, this time it’s some animalistic ghost. Danny just sighs, throws a pencil at it, and slowly floats over to it; while everyone but Lancer flees, since he’s more or less pinned by the ghost. Inches from the ghost face Danny blasts it point blank with an ectobeam. He’s sighs as he pulls out his thermos and sucks in the ghost. Turning to Mr. Lancer, “ok I’m probably going to give you an aneurism or something if I don’t explain, huh?”. Lancer looks from where the ghost was to Danny, who’s floating a solid 2 feet off the ground and just nods. “Kay well, Phantom Fenton, same person. I’m not all dead just halfway there, halfas the word”, Danny watches as Mr. Lancer blinks once and tilts his head before going wide-eyed, “I, wow, so this is what’s been so weird about today. Well this certainly explains a lot Daniel, though I would hope you’re aren’t just walking around school like this to mess with peoples head”. Danny shakes his head as he plants his feet on the ground, “no, I didn’t even know I could have this sorta mind control effect on people. Basically one of my parents things pretty much turned off my ability to change back to Fenton for 24 hours. Not happy about it but I pretty much decided, screw it and didn’t bother even trying to hide it”. Danny helps Mr. Lancer get off the ground, “well I’m glad you help people Daniel but maybe you should be more careful”. Danny just shrugs as he waves goodbye to Mr. Lancer. Lancer shakes his head at the now empty doorway, “I think my most disappointing child became the one I’m proudest of”. Shaking his head as he goes to sit down and stares at Daniels unfinished assignment with a small smile.

“So Mr. Lancer knows now”, Sam and Tucker both look at Danny like he’s lost his mind. “Dude, what the hell?”, Tucker is the first to speak up. “Tucker I literally shot an animal ghost in front of him while floating, and I’m pretty sure his mind was already melting or some shit before then”, Danny rolls his eyes at Tucker. Sam shakes her head, “pretty sure his brain would’ve been fine you self-sacrificing dumbass”. Danny shrugs as he waves goodbye to them.

Looking to his house door he takes a deep breath and assumes that if he just acts normal the mind thing will work. But at the same time, it’s been years and he’s kind of just done; specially when it comes to hiding from his parents. Pushing the door open, “I’m home! What’s for supper?”. Maddie sticks her head around the door and squints at Danny, who just smiles at her, “Uh, hmm, it’s Spaghetti...Danny?”. She says his name like it’s a question, which in a sense it was, “yeah it’s me and spaghetti is good, uh. Is there like, anything? You want to ask?”. Maddie scratches her head while staring at him, she eventual pulls down her goggles and then lifts them up, then down, then up. Which is confusing the hell out of Danny, “okay? I think I have a question first, what are you doing?”. Maddie blinks, takes off her goggles and shakes her head at them before looking to Danny, “I can’t tell what you look

like but yet I can? What’s going on Danny? And why do you look completely like Phantom through my goggles?”. Danny face palms and mutters quickly, “of course, they’re probably special goggles”, smiling softly he looks at his mom, “yeah been getting that in a sense all day, had a reaction with that weird purple cube thing”. Maddie shakes her head, “I don’t know how all our stuff seems to either be affected by or affect you. Well most things anyways”. Turning her head around she dashed back into the kitchen and shouts, “foods ready!”. Danny sits down at the table and smiles somewhat sadly at his mom, “um sweet”. As Maddie gives him his food she blinks at him a bit, “sweetie I don’t like that something we made has messed you up. You sure this, whatever, will wear off.  That you’ll be ok?”. Danny sighs and nods, “yeah, I’ll be fine after another few hours. Sorry about the mindfuck”. Maddie glares at Danny who just exaggeratedly shrugs, “sorry I can’t think of a different word to describe it”. Maddie sighs and shakes her head as she sits down.

“So uh, where’s dad?”, Danny asks as he puts away his bowl. “Hmmm? Oh yeah, he went out to talk to Phantom. Which I’m starting to feel was pointless? Maybe?”, Maddie shakes her head as she looks at her goggles again but doesn’t put them on. Danny chuckles, “not an easy fellow to find unless you really know where to look”. Maddie smiles softly, gets up and kisses Danny’s head. Ruffling his white hair lightly, “well whatever the reason I’m pretty sure I’m glad we came to a truce”. This makes Danny smile and chuckles lightly, saying softly; more to himself, “me too, me too”.

End.

[shirtlesssammy]

8x14: Trial and Error

Then:

Sam and Dean finally have a home.

Now:

Kevin Tran is living the dream on “Fizzle’s Folly” (omg). He’s working hard translating half the (demon?) tablet, drinking coffee, and frying up hot dogs, day after day after day...the boy isn’t doing so well. 

One day, he looks at his board of clues and exclaims, “Holy Crap!” He promptly gets a nose bleed and passes out. 

At the bunker, Dean is busy placing his new room in order: New Zep album, guns on the wall, and photo of Mary on the desk. Sam stops by to scoff at Dean’s enthusiasm for a real room. Dean’s too busy loving his new memory foam bed to care. 

Later Sam is digging through books in the library (yeah, you say this isn’t a home but you’re already hooked, Sammy). Dean brings him food wearing just a henley (Nesting looks so good on Dean). Then Sam starts to be crappy about Dean cooking (and YOUNG MAN, who cooked for you your whole fucking life?).

Before Dean can take a bite into his amazing burger, he gets a cryptic call from Kevin. 

They get to the houseboat to find a very sick Kevin. He figured out how to close the gates of hell! Germaphobe Dean gives Kevin a big hug and then Kevin breaks down what has to happen.

It’s a spell said in Enochian after completing three trials. 

The first trial: Kill a Hell Hound and bathe in its blood. Dean is pumped! He sets out to get goofer dust and better food for Kevin. Sam is tasked on finding someone who has a demon deal coming due. 

Sam takes a moment to tell Kevin to take better care of himself. “Saving the world? It’s a marathon, not a sprint.” Kevin knows that if they close the gates of Hell, he can get his life back. He wants this over asap. 

Dean comes back and essentially tells Kevin to do the opposite of what Sam just said. Sam tells Dean about the Cassity family and their weird luck 10 years ago. Dean’s game! 

Shoshone, Idaho

The boys arrive at the Cassity estate. They find the farm caretaker, Ellie, and she mistakes them for potential employees so they roll with it. They then meet Carl, the husband of one of the adult children in the family. After two seconds of interacting with the brothers he thinks they should be hired. Ellie reluctantly agrees and shows them their quarters. Then they get to do their “crap work” and by that, Dean finds out, she means actually cleaning horse stalls. 

They witness a fight between Eliie and Alice, Carl’s wife. She’s frustrated with the exchange and doesn’t pay mind to Dean’s casual flirting. 

It’s all to figure out who has a hellhound on their ass and both brothers assume it’s Alice.

That night over dinner, Alice and Carl hear the howl of a dog in the distance. 

Alice decides to go check on the horses. The brothers follow. 

Back at the dinner table, Carl gets a visit from a hungry invisible hound. Whelp.

Later, Sam tries to ask some questions at the investigation but doesn’t get far. They learn that all the Cassitys will be flying in soon. The brothers think that Carl had to have been the one to sign the deal and now he’s dead. Dean suggests they get out of there now that they didn’t get the hellhound. 

Sam heads to the stables where he runs into Alice. He asks if she’s ok, and she says she’s fine. 

She knows she should feel bad because she loved Carl, she just doesn’t remember why. This sets off alarm bells for Sam so he asks more questions. She grew up with Carl, but didn’t really see him until a Valentine’s Day party ten years prior. 

Sam meets up with Dean in their quarters. Dean wants to summon a cross-roads demon. Uh, dude, slow your roll. Sam tells Dean about his exchange with Alice, and how it seems that he sold his soul for her, not the family oil. A demon made multiple deals with this one family 10 years ago. 

The rest of the family arrive. There’s Noah Cassity, 71, worth a billion and just married wife no. 5. Then there’s Cindy, the middle child after Alice. She’s an alcoholic washed up country singer. Finally there’s Margie. She ran away 10 years ago and lives in Paris. 

Ellie needs help now that the family is all there. Dean tasks Sam with waiting on them and Ellie gives Dean grill duty. She’s very impressed with his meat handling. 

*Horrible Family Dinner Alert*

The family sits down for dinner. Sam serves wine (but not enough for Cindy). 

Or maybe too much, because she reveals that Margie and Carl slept together before Alice and Carl were together. 

Alice tries to remember the last time they had dinner together. It was a long time ago. Their father had invited a traveling salesman to join them. Charming, English, and named Crowley. Upon hearing that, Sam’s brain breaks.

Sam drops the news on Dean and they both worry about Crowley dropping in on their hellhound killing mission. Kevin calls with a new bit of timely trivia. The only way to see a hellhound is to either be damned or through an object scorched by holy fire. Dean nabs two pairs of protective eyewear to douse with holy oil. 

The Cassitys continues to be The Worst. Noah and Margie head out with shotguns (and a little too much booze in the system) to kill themselves a wolf. This can only end well. Sam catches up with the bad idea gang and offers to join their posse - mostly to keep them from getting killed. 

Ellie saunters outside, looking awfully fine. She clearly thinks the same of Dean by the way she’s giving him the look-over. 

“I think you’re really hot,” she tells him. “You wanna go to my room and...have sex?” Like, YES? Dean’s brain basically stops working for a moment before he turns her down. He asks for a rain check and her face settles into something more serious and almost sad. “This is one night only.” Ouch, man. Ouch.

Sam’s crew has made it into the woods (super plan) where they start to get followed by the blurry handheld camera-de-hellhound. Sam peels off, tracking an odd sound, and ends up face-to-face with Noah. Margie’s off on her own. Cue the screaming and the blood! And now we’re down another family member since the hellhound has hauled Margie off to the pit.

Back in the house, Dean and Sam drop the pretense. The dead members of the family Cassity all sold their souls to a demon and hellhounds are using them as chew toys. They handcuff the family to the furniture (so they don’t freak out and hurt themselves), seal up the house with graveyard dirt, and head out to stalk the hound. That’s...one way to do it. 

Dean orders Sam to stay safe in the house with the family while he goes out and does hero work. Sam calls him on his bullshit and Dean tells Sam that the trials are going to end in the death of one of them. “Or worse.” And if someone’s gotta go, it sure as hell’s gonna be Dean. Sam sees a way out but Dean - poor, fatalistic Dean - thinks he might as well go out in a blaze of glory. “I'm gonna die with a gun in my hand. 'Cause that's what I have waiting for me – that's all I have waiting for me. I want you to get out. I want you to have a life – become a Man of Letters, whatever. You, with a wife and kids and – and – and grandkids, living till you're fat and bald and chugging Viagra – that is my perfect ending, and it's the only one that I'm gonna get.” Oh, Dean. Always trying to feed up Sammy. A true parent!

Dean stalks the farm with his Clark Kent glasses and heads to the barn. There’s light and music playing and it calls Dean in like a siren song. 

The Cassitys continue to break down. They suspect that Margie made the deal that made them rich. 

Meanwhile, Dean walks in on Ellie drunk and dancing to “I touch myself.” She prowls into Dean’s space and Dean goes full-on awkward on her, telling her to stay inside no matter what she hears. “There’s something evil out there.”

“I know,” she says. She’s waiting for the hellhound to arrive and collect on HER deal. Oof.

Sam heads to the window and sees the hellhound prowling through the yard. At the same moment, Alice freaks out and breaks out of the house to run to her car, leaving Sam no choice but to race after her. The hound growls nearby and Sam shoos her back inside.

Ellie spills the details to Dean. She met Crowley that same night he made a deal with Margie. Ellie sold her soul to heal her mom from Parkinson’s and send her to a happy retirement. When Dean berates her, she asks him what he would have done if it was HIS mom. The same damn thing, his face says.

Dean also learns that Crowley never told Ellie that her ticket was up in 10 years, or that she’d be torn asunder by beasts. The beast howls and Ellie starts to hallucinate Dean’s face going all demon-horror. Dean pours out the last of the graveyard dust into a circle and orders Ellie inside. He heads out to face the hellhound. 

In the rest of the barn, the horses are all SUPER quiet considering there’s an apex supernatural predator prowling around. Dean puts on his glasses (HAWT) and starts tracking the hound. He offers up some quips to the unappreciative beast and then is knocked aside and sliced across the ribs by the hound. It approaches him, ready to rip him apart, when Sam shoots at it. The hound scampers, Sam grabs the knife, and slices himself a fresh hellhound in the heat of the moment. 

He’s doused with black gooey hellhound blood. Well. That went perfectly to plan!

They plan to create a hex bag for Ellie and tell her to run and hide from Crowley. Dean grabs some of the blood from Sam’s clothes and tries to do the first spell. It’s a total bust. 

Sam tells Dean that he’s planning on doing the trials. And then he drops a truly wonderful, cathartic speech. “I want to slam Hell shut, too, okay? But I want to survive it. I want to live, and so should you. You have friends up here. Family. I mean, hell, you even got your own room now. You were right, okay? I see light at the end of this tunnel. And I'm sorry you don't – I am. But it's there. And if you come with me, I can take you to it.” SAM!!! What a good speech. He also tells Dean that he’s more than a grunt - he’s a genius hunter. Awwww, Sam - what a good brother! He asks Dean to BELIEVE in him.

Dean hands the spell over, a little resigned. What a MOMENT! Sam does the spell and it works instantly. Sam’s arm lights up with power and he grunts at the pain of it. And then he collects himself. “I’m okay,” he tells Dean. Oh Sam bby.

______________________________

You Look Like Clark Quotes in Those Glasses:

Memory foam. It remembers me!

I'm nesting, okay?

This whole saving the world thing? It’s a marathon, not a sprint.

Did you know that there are like 6,000 kinds of tomatoes.

I do like a man who can handle his meat.

You're not a grunt, Dean. You're a genius.

______________________________

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[ours-is-feral-love]

Summary: Caroline’s dog goes into labour in the middle of the night, and the only person who can help is her neighbour, Klaus. Who she happens to hate. Very much.

​Help Me, Hate Me, Love Me

She wakes up to a scratching on her door. Her eyes snap open. The dark room is silent save for the small fan whirring in the corner, there only to combat the New Orleans heat. She waits, her breath held, her heart colliding with her ribs, for a repeat of the scratching. After a few moments of quiet, she settles back underneath the covers and closes her eyes. It must have been a branch on her window. Or a phantom noise in a dream. Nothing to worry about. 

Several seconds after she closes her eyes, the scratching returns. She sits up, frightened despite her usually rational disposition. Pressing her silk nightgown against her chest, she takes in a single deep breath and goes over her options. She can call the police. But that would be silly - she doesn't even know what the source of the scratching is. It could be nothing and then she would be humiliated for wasting police time. She can grab the scissors on her bedside table and investigate. If it is someone breaking in, hopefully they don’t have a gun. She hasn't played this specific twist game of rock, paper, scissors, but she is fairly certain gun beats scissors every time. 

Or, she can listen to the rational parts of her brain - truly, the majority - and leave the scissors and her cell phone and check on the rest of her small house by herself. She is brave enough for that. 

Climbing out of bed, Caroline Forbes straightens the lacy bottom of her nightgown against her thighs and tucks her blond hair behind her ears. One must look confident to be confident. She has always thought so. Heading for the door, she swings it wide open as if to spook whatever intruders may be lurking on the other side. She almost says ha! But there are no large men wearing black ski masks and brandishing guns. There is only a fat border collie lying on the floor outside her room, her head lifting just enough to look Caroline in the eye. 

"Hey, Addie, what's the matter?" Caroline asks, crouching. She weaves her fingers through the dogs thick fur. Addie whines in response and looks at Caroline pleadingly. 

Caroline frowns. Smoothing her hand lower to Addie's swollen belly, Caroline's eyes go wide. "No," she whispers. Of course. How could she forget? "But..." she sputters, "but you're not due for another week!" 

But there is no other explanation for the scratching at the door and the lethargy and that human-like glint in her dark eyes. Addie is in labour. Her puppies are coming. 

And Caroline has no clue what she is doing. 

Scrambling to her feet, Caroline races to the closet outside her bathroom and grabs the dog birthing bag she gathered when she discovered the first foster dog she ever brought home was pregnant. She rushes back to Addie. Her mind races as she dumps the bag at her feet. Out pours the whelping kit - a handful of old newspapers, cheap towels, a couple of raggedy bed sheets, a pair of round tip scissors plus a haemostat she is not prepared to use in the slightest, and dental floss in case Addie starts bleeding from one of the umbilical cords. She gets to her knees and quickly sorts through everything, placing each item to the side in order of when she should need to use it. 

"Okay," she says aloud after spreading the sheets and newspaper out and helping Addie on to the makeshift bed. "We can do this, right, girl?" she asks. Addie side-eyes her. "Yeah, I'm kinda freaking out too. And I guess you can pick up on that. But it's okay, because we've got the internet on our side!" She waves her cell phone around. Addie continues looking unconvinced, and Caroline thinks this is the most judgemental look anyone has ever given her. 

Twenty minutes pass by and nothing has happened, and Caroline starts thinking that they do not, in fact, have this under any sort of control. She panics internally, hoping Addie cannot pick up on her freak out but knowing damn well she can. 

All of the websites she has looked at say to phone the vet if a puppy hasn't been delivered within one-two hours of the start of active labour, but Caroline doesn't actually know what that means. 

"I'm gonna kill you and your puppies, aren't I?" she says, stroking Addie's belly. The dog whines as if asking, begging, for help. "No, I was kidding. I hope. We can do this. You can do this!"

Another ten minutes goes with no movement. 

She cannot do this. Nor can Addie it appears. 

Caroline gets to her feet and starts pacing. Then she remembers something she wishes she didn't remember. One of her neighbours grew up on a breeding farm. The thought sours Caroline's tongue, but if he can help in any way, it would not only save Caroline a huge load of money, it would mean getting this done sooner rather than agonisingly later. 

The only issue is that she and this particular neighbour have never gotten along well. Literally never. The first day Caroline moved in, he rebuffed her offer of homemade triple caramel cupcakes and they have been practical enemies ever since. 

Does she really want to invite him inside her house? 

Addie makes up Caroline's mind for her. She lets out a long, pained whimper and Caroline finds herself banging on the man's door one minute later, wishing she had put something over her rather revealing nightgown. 

It doesn't take long for him to come to the door. 

"Who the fuck do you think you are," he says as the door opens, "knocking on my door at two o'clock in the fucking morning?" 

He is dressed about as indecently as her. He is in boxer shorts and nothing else, and in the moonlight his sinewy torso glistens. His bronze curls are a mess atop his head. Stubble dots his cheeks. Sleep invades the corners of his blue eyes. 

Caroline wastes no time. "My dog is in labour. I need your help. Something isn't going right. Please." She didn't have to add the please. She actually wishes she hadn't. The British bastard doesn’t deserve it. 

A look of pure confusion wafts over his sleepy face. He scratches his jaw. "Is this a dream?" he asks, his eyes wandering to her breasts. 

Caroline stands her ground. "Are you gonna help me or not?"

He rolls his eyes. "I've not aided in a delivery since I was 17."

"Right. Well, I've never done this, so I think the fact that it's only been fifteen years for you compared to thirty years for me, is a fucking ridiculous point for you to make."

"You think I'm only 32," he says, his hand going to his chest. "How flattering."

"I don't care how old you are! Will you help me? Please." The damn word sneaks out again. 

"Fine. For the dog. Not for you."

"Thank you," she says, ignoring the jab. 

And that is how she ends up with Klaus Mikaelson standing in her upstairs landing wearing only his boxer shorts and a pair of latex gloves. 

Her friend back home in Virginia, Bonnie, would be freaking out if she saw him. She has always had this wild idea that they secretly want to jump each other's bones. Caroline supposes she isn't all wrong. If she had a chance to jump on Klaus's literal bones, she might take it. 

"You're not happy, are you? You want them out and they're just not coming," Klaus says soothingly. His hand goes back and forth over Addie's belly. The furry beast looks at Klaus with no condescension in her eyes. 

"Is anything seriously wrong?" 

Klaus, seemingly reluctantly, looks over his shoulder at her. "I don't think so. She isn't in distress. She's just uncomfortable. We can get these pups out without issue, I think."

"Oh, thank god." Caroline leans against the wall and smiles. For the next however long, she can put her hatred for Klaus in a little box and then as soon as these puppies are all out, they can go right back to seriously disliking one another.

 . . .

"And that's the last one," Klaus says, handing the wriggling, slimy thing to Caroline before removing his gloves. She wipes it off, giggling, and places it beside the other five, and takes off her own gloves.

It took nearly an hour for all six to come out, but there they are. All goopy, tiny, and the cutest things Caroline has ever seen. Addie nudges them, cleaning the stuff Caroline did not get to. 

"We did it!" Caroline exclaims to Klaus, standing at the same time as him. He is covered in blood and fluid. And he is smiling. She doesn't think she's ever seen him smile. It suits him. "We fucking did it!"

She goes in to hug him. At least, she thinks that was her first instinct. Hug. 

But it isn't a hug. 

In a momentary lapse of common sense, maybe because of all of the adrenaline, it is their mouths that meet. Caroline almost squeals in surprise. Her eyes close as her lips press against Klaus's. His hands cup her cheeks. Hers hold his forearms. 

He tastes like mint. 

Heat blooms across her cheeks, and when she finally pulls herself away, she is panting. 

"Um," she says, placing her hands on her hips, "thanks, by the way. For your, uh, for your help."

He shrugs, sitting back against the opposite wall as if they did not just spend a few long seconds with their tongues in each other's mouths. "I'm sure you could have done it. I think she could just pick up on how terrified you were. She needed a stable influence."

Caroline scoffs. "Right. You, stable."

"I've done this countless times. She knew that I was better prepared than you," he says smugly.

"She's my dog," Caroline defends. "She trusts me."

"Clearly not enough to safely deliver her puppies."

Now that the ordeal is over, that box snaps open. "Whatever. Thanks for your help, Klaus, but you can go now. I've got this." Caroline makes a move for the bathroom, and suddenly someone is clutching her wrist. She looks down. 

"Wait, wait, I'm sorry," Klaus says. Another first. After all the things he's done - mowing over her flower bed because it apparently was creeping on to his lawn; calling the police on her when she has having a small get together with work friends all because he didn't like the music they were listening to; sneering at her and Addie whenever they passed him on a run; kissing her - he has never apologised. "I'm glad I was able to help. This just brings back all sorts of unhappy memories."

He is still holding her wrist. His touch is warm. Hot. Blistering against her skin. 

She wants to pull away, but she doesn't want him to stop talking. 

"What kind of unhappy memories?"

His eyes go in a circle. "All you shrinks are the same," he says. But he goes on, his hand around her wrist, his index finger pressed against her pulse point. "When I was kid in England, I had this dog. His name was Doodles"--

--"Doodles?" 

"Right, you Americans don't know what the Tweenies is. Doodles is a puppet dog from a British kids show."

"Ah." Caroline nods her head. "Go on."

Klaus lets go of her wrist and she suddenly feels ice cold. "Well, I loved this dog. He was my best mate, and for a while I thought he'd never die." Klaus stares at the puppies, and Caroline's stomach turns over. "Well, when I was 17, my dad found out I'd been sneaking out at night. He didn't like that. So, he took Doodles and shot him. Right in front of me as punishment for disobeying him."

Caroline's jaw goes slack. She wants to say something, but how the fuck does one respond to that? 

"I - I'm so sorry," is what she settles on. She looks down at Addie. In just a couple of months, the dog has managed to climb inside Caroline's heart. She can't imagine losing her. And she can't imagine what it would be like if in ten years someone took her and killed her. Someone she was supposed to trust. "That's horrible."

He shrugs again. As if it's nothing. "I left that afternoon. Crashed on couches doing odd jobs until I could afford a ticket to the States. Wound up here. I'm happy now, I think." 

Caroline doesn't think, but she refuses to say that out loud. 

"I should go," he says, getting to his feet. He looms over Caroline even though he can't be more than a few inches taller. 

"Yeah, okay," she says softly. Then she says something else. Something stupid. Something she would never normally say. "Or, you could stick around. We're both pretty disgusting. I have a shower that can easily fit two people."

She will forever blame it on the excitement of safely getting the pups out of Addie. On Klaus’s sob story. On Bonnie’s insistence that they were secretly in love with each other.

But it was the kiss. On top of everything else, it was the kiss. And those eyes. Those sad blue eyes.

Klaus tilts his head. He looks exactly like Addie when she's perplexed. "I thought you hated me."

"So what if I do?" she challenges.

"I thought I hated you," he says.

"Again, so. What."

He smiles again, only this one is darker. Dangerous. 

"Lead the way," he says. 

Caroline matches his smile and reaches for his hand.  

[caemthe-a]

     So I ended up reading Kinsella’s Táin in a day (something I should’ve done first since it’s far more comprehensible than older translations, but I’m didn’t because I’m a dumbass) and here are some details I didn’t pay much attention to when reading other translations until yesterday and also other things because I find them extremely amusing: 

It’s all Conchobar’s fault ngl.

The Táin properly starts on a Monday after Samain’s feast (Oct. 31) and ever since Cú never slept “unless against his spear for an instant after the middle of the day, with head on fist and fist on spear and the spear against his knee” (p.143, yes I put page because I’m annoying like that) until a Wednesday after Imbolc’s feast (Feb. 1), which means that Cú had been fighting the enemy armies without sleeping for MONTHS.

Until Cú was badly wounded so Lugh (aka Cú’s father) appeared to watch over him and heal him while Cú slept. Cú slept for 3 days and 3 nights. (Must’ve been some awkward days for Láeg since he was there too). That also meant that Ulster was defenseless against its enemies but Uster’s boys’ troop (150 young boys who were training to become warriors under Cú’s guidance) fought and they were all slaughtered. But they were no mere children because they managed to kill 3 times their own numbers. Absolute legends. (Actually, it’s very sad once Cú wakes up and is told that the boys’ troop been slaughtered... and then he goes full ríastrad on Medb’s armies)

Lugh is a storm god theory is WHACK and a stretch to try to compare him to another god of Norse mythology. (Alright, this isn’t particular to the Táin, it’s just me being salty about this very specific topic.)

Remember when I said Cú was a morning person? Well, that’s WRONG and I’m stupid. Cú actually hates waking up and no one ever tries to wake him up because, when he was a kid, some dude tried to wake him and baby Cú accidentally punched the dude’s brains out. (Another of baby Cú’s stories includes him hiding under Conchobar’s bed after punching about 50 boys and then you got the entirety of Ulster + King Conchobar + Fergus trying to pull him out). Anyway, back to the Táin.

One of the armies that were allied to Connacht was really efficient and fast and Medb didn’t like that one bit so her solution was to kill them all. Aillil: ‘What a womanly thing to say! We can’t do that!’ Fergus agreed and was the bigger brain then and therefore it was decided that the badass army should be distributed among the other armies.

I actually really like Fergus’ character during the entirety of the book and how he kept making fools of Medb and Aillil the whole time to delay their armies and give some time to Cú to recover and fight back. I’m giving him some rights back because I’m Cú biased.

Right, for at least 3 months, the war was only between the armies of Connacht (+ armies sent from other regions of Ireland... they all pretty much said Fuck them Ulster) against Cú Chulainn (with Láeg and his horses as emotional support). You would think that the armies of thousands of warriors would easily win against one 17yo boy, right? Haha... You would also think that considering Cú’s kill count, this enemy forces would start considering Cú as a serious threat and respect him, right? Absolutely not! Aillil actually has to threaten his troops to stop them from badmouthing Cú (Context: As soon as anyone insulted Cú, Cú would use his slingshot to blow their heads. He’s always watching... and listening!) Also, Cú has to wear a fake beard on TWO different occasions because, otherwise, the warriors wouldn’t fight him. (The best part of this is that the people actually bought the fake beard thing.)

Unless someone’s talking shit about him, Cú can’t aim for shit. (He does things out of spite.) For nearly three months he tries to shoot Medb and Aillil’s heads but he keeps missing each time and hits other targets instead. Sad.

Sometimes Cú likes to lie practically naked on the snow while staring at nothingness and tbh? Mood.

At some point, The Morrígan shows up disguised as a beautiful princess and tries to seduce Cú in a quite forceful manner, to which Cú says hard pass. The Morrigan gets offended and decides to make Cú’s life miserable from then on, to which our best boy says: Bring it on, WENCH! (Jokes aside, in concept, it’s really interesting that the goddess of death, victory, and war falls in love with a hero fated to accomplish greats feats and have his name remembered forever in all of Ireland and to die young.)

Then, The Morrigan transforms into an eel/fish and makes Cú trip when he’s crossing the river to meet the Connacht armies. Apparently, this is THE WORST that could ever happen to Cú because he gets so embarrassed and flustered that he just lies there and tries to hide a little. It’s so bad that he has no will to fight and Láeg has to give him prep talk so that he stands up again. I said Láeg was his emotional support!

And also Cú’s only brain cell! Because when Medb sent a message to Cú to meet her without carrying any weapon, Láeg went ‘Yeah, dude, don’t be stupid, that’s a trap.’ And of course it was a trap! This made Cú kinda annoyed because Medb had tried to deceive him and therefore destroys all the armies that Medb sent to kill him. And upon seeing her warriors getting slaughtered, Medb goes ‘This is so unfair! He’s doing injustice against my people!’ Mmm, I wonder who’s fault that this.

Ferdiad and Cú’s battle is always overwhelming and depressing and there’s gay drama no matter what.

An iconic moment from that battle is when Ferdiad asks his charioteer to look and see if Cú has arrived yet, to which the charioteer says ‘no, Ferdiad, buddy, we arrived like... 3 hours early to your date, what the fuck’. And Ferdiad goes, ‘Look again’ and the charioteer says, ‘Hey, dude, I know your boyfriend is tiny but he’s not THAT tiny’.

The book doesn’t explicitly mention how short is Cú but the people keep comparing him to a little hound, little deer, whelp, calf, little goat, etc.etc. etc. There also was this one time when Cú went ‘hey, hey what the fuck. I went full ríastrad last night. I can’t have people thinking I’m ugly.’ So he puts on his cool clothes and walked between where the Kingdoms of Ireland were gathered and the crowds went WILD. The men were standing there looking at Cú all dumbfounded but the women (their wives) couldn’t see him (like I said, he’s really short) so they got on the men’s shoulders to look at Cú. Medb got curious about what was the ruckus about and got on some dude’s shoulder’s too and looked at Cú and went ‘Hey, what the fuck! He’s a literal baby and you’re telling me that he’s the one who has been humiliating my troops?!’ Medb wasn’t amused.

Btw the reason why Medb and Aillil didn’t grab the brown bull Donn Cualigne and yeeted themselves out of there was because the bull was a powerhouse and no one could actually grab him. He would kill a fuckton of people whenever they tried to grab him so they decided that that was a bad idea.

Anyway, by the end of the Táin, the men of Ulster recovered from the pangs of Macha. (It was a curse that fell upon them for being major assholes. Don’t force pregnant women, who are about to give birth, to participate in chariot races, that’s just bad. Btw Macha, the pregnant woman, won the race.) And so everyone starts talking and making a huge deal of THE GREAT BATTLE and there are these cool and long introductions to the warriors of Ulster, Conchobar is all ‘I just came here to laugh at you’ at Medb and Aillil. And so you get a bunch of warriors come and go from THE GREAT BATTLE, and Cú says, ‘Damn, Laég, you better tell me all about THE GREAT BATTLE’ (Cú can’t participate because he’s still too wounded from his battle with Ferdiad). But they never actually show you THE GREAT BATTLE. Sad.

Also, sadly, there wasn’t nowhere nearly enough content of Conall Cernach and his dog-headed, man-eating, gore-covered, foaming monster horse and I think that’s a damn shame. ucu.

[ceejay1163]

The Teal* Bronco (*Turquoise)

First off I want to tag the amazing @aquadolan whose hilariously accurate reaction videos make me laugh cry every time I see them and makes me feel like we are experiencing the video together and having a laugh like a couple of mates despite being in opposite sides of the world.

Now for my reactions to 'Tricking my brother into thinking his car was flipped'

The ring mmhmmm just yes

The clapping tho? Not about it

Ethan has a shorter attention span then me and that's impressive

I did not pick the boys to like roller skating although they ice skate so it makes sense

Little bitch haha

I like the jumper. It looks fuzzy and cozy

How long did this take to plan? Honestly it seems like it would be taken forever

Roasting the matchingness to the car

He seems to actually be jealous that Gray's favourite car isn't the one he bought. That's adorable. Fuck I'm not even 2 mins into the video

And now the car is broken

Wait did I fuck up? Am I recording?

The gum Ethan. Eww for fuck sake mate don't be a pig.

'I have really bad attentional problems' yeah.. your English might need some work too

When's the last time I ate? -literally something I say most days

Roast him for dropping out of school and not remembering common phrases and sayings

Why do all Ethans pranks involve Graysons cars?

Also not wanting to say what time you wake up. Same

Laughing at yourself

I'm cool, I'm cool actually no I'm not

Groggy or drunk?

Slap. Pain kink anyone?

That damn projector

Air quotes

Did anyone understand the car mumbo jumbo? Like at all? Did anyone care?

Good job keeping a straight face Ethan. He won't suspect a thing.

Fun-ny

Why do boys turn everything into challenges? My nephews do it all the time

Full actor mode

Too many words in Google mate. Google doesn't care why you need a Photoshop artist

More air quotes. Except out of sync.

It's just a prank bro.

Bitter he can't go skating. Poor bubba

Morning voice half an octave lower. Yes please

Groaning. Thank you

I always end up falling asleep at least twice after waking up the first time before getting up. V relatable

Him jumping into bed to pretend to be asleep reminds me of being a kid and bolting through the house in the middle of the night after getting up to get a drink or something, trying to avoid monsters or waking up the parents

Jumpers with shorts?

He's got slippers. Awww

Realising a flaw in his plan when the car doesn't work.

Too many cars in the driveway

CRINGEY PHOTOS. WOO.

Fucking drama queen

That stupid photoshopped photo

Real us. Not actor mode us haha

Mr Dolan 😏

Doesn't analyze it too much. Good idea

He has such bloke-ish child like writing

The calf tattoo 🥺

Socks and slides Grayson? That's almost as bad as socks and sandals. Fucking hell

Love a man in light grey sweats

Run Ethan go back to bed. You're so grounded (idk)

He pulled Ethans hip so hard. Jesus

What is that bike thingy in the background?

WHO DOESN'T LOCK THEIR FUCKING CAR??? YOU FUCKING IMBECILE

Now Gray let's put on our big boy thinking caps. It's not Ethans fault. Entirely. You also didn't lock the fucking car

Booty 👀

Not knowing if you have insurance. Mate you should look into that. (Also a very me thing to not know)

Gray is loosing it. Like actually looks like he's gonna do the frustrated crying thing

"That's not chill you need to fix that." Pretty sure sleeping is pretty chill. Also how does one fix being a heavy sleeper (other then by having kids)

"You need to be able to wake up in the morning and get shit done" no need to call me out like that

Let me call the *mumble mumble mumble*

It's fucking turquoise- whelp fuck have to change the title

Who steals a turquoise car at 9am? He's loosing it

Awe he doesn't want people to get hurt. Cutie

Seriously why hasn't he called the police yet? When I got home from my nanas funeral to find my house broken into the first thing I did was call the cops. And then cry cos it was like 10pm and I'd just driven like 12 hrs so I was hella tired

He's V loud. And then V quiet.

You motherfucker. Ok rude but understandable

That sigh of relief and the laughter

All of the adrenaline just left Gray immediately. Also hiding under a blankie? adorable

"Where did you put it?" Immediately forgets haha

Did you ruin it and turn it pink or something? You're getting a rep E and why does Gray assume it would be painted pink?

The sound effect over Gray pulling up his pants to hide his plumbers crack 😂

You need to rub it out. I mean ok sure

"I kinked up bro" just why 😂

Slap. SPINNING. It's a theme park ride

You stole my car- Dude where's my car movie anyone?

Car upside down you say? Forshadowing

Grayson gives up on life.

Nope never mind he's dramatically throwing himself onto the bed and screaming into the blankets like a teenage girl

Also booty

FROG

Don't dance Grayson

It's all in the puff bro

Mr Dillon, not Dolan, Dillion

Grayson has left the building look

Nose boop

The eye movement. Wait you what?

Beard pulling

Give me the phone. No you are having the phone. Ok fine.

Intense eye contact for real tho

That dumbass look on his face. Grayson is shooketh to hell

Do they even understand any of this car mumbo jumbo? Does it even make any sense?

I don't know shit about insurance. Seriously dude that's not smart

MY CAR

That's not chill bro that's not chill at all. Putting them on a ban for the words chill and bro. More to be added. They use those words more then I use the word mate and that's impressive

I'm taking the phone and subtly suggesting human error (negligence) and a potential law suit

Oh you have footage? Talk to my older brother

I don't know much about cars. Dude

More stupid looks from Gray

I don't wanna see it

More screaming

More yelling Grayson

We can move your car but it's gonna cost you more money

Not falling for that pic

Just put it on the next one. Gray it's not a fucking bus. There's no schedule to have the next one come out. Use your head darlin'

More yelling in the car and swearing

How did he organise the street thing? Like actually.

Also surely it's illegal to pretend to have roadworks and fuck up traffic

VROOM. You go lil blue car

BULGE 👀 this is when I stopped paying attention the first time I watched it.

What is the camera guy (kyle?) wearing? Who said that be one were allowed to be a thing again? I'm not impressed

Grayson is v frustrated

DON'T LITTER

Neither of you should be allowed to dance. Its not good

That's the wrong question to ask about the camera guy's clothes

Fist clap

Wait where's the car? Is it safe? Poor Gray his brain is malfunctioning

Camera goes to Grayson. Ooh look bulge. Pans away. Move back ooh bulge.

If they keep upping the ante someone's gonna get hurt

I don't know what's inside of me. Never a good thing to say

Still allergic to dogs 🥺

HOLY SHIT THAT HAPPENED

I haven't heard you scream that much for that long 👀

Grayson's pretty loud. I would like to test that. Please and thank you.

Deep breathing

SOOOO HARD. (I volunteer)

I am going to prank the actual s out of Ethan. Really taking the not swearing thing seriously huh

Sure whatever you say. He doesn't believe you'll get him back Gray. Kick his ass

Bruh

Eric deserves a medal for his phone acting. Well done faceless dude named Eric

I give up. I give up on everything. If that's not a fucking mood

Double bitched sounds like it should mean something else. Just saying

Boob caress

My guard's up. No your guard can't be up. Pretty sure that's not how it works Grayson

Just don't hurt me. Grayson is so not listening to him. He's still mad

No rules

It was fake There's no rules

Ethan being hurt Gray doesn't love his present

Still mad.

Rubs sweat all over comfy jumper. Childish

HE STILL LOOKS FUCKING LIVID.

Alrighty take three of finishing this thing. Tumblr crashed yesterday after I spent like 2 hours writing this and deleted half my comments. I couldn't finish it then cos it was almost 2am and I had work today so I redid it from like the 20 minute mark of the video. Then I saved it to my drafts And published it but it deleted the last like 5 minutes of comments so I had to redo them again. Here's hoping Tumblr sorts it's shit out cos it's late and I have work again tomorrow. 🐨

[ryouverua]

Love Key #5 - Kaito Momota

Well SHIT it took way too long to start that Saimota train! I'm ready to hop in for the ride though too so CHOO CHOO GET OUT THE WAY

Wow it really didn’t get long for those Saimota vibes to get going!

Of course Kaito charges into this with his voice raised. Of course.

Have we... gone full shounen sports anime???

Shuichi is just thinking oh god what the hell am I about to compete in - if it’s wrestling I swear -

“I am nothing if not fully committed to whatever role I have thrust upon me! potentiallypunintended”

But man, Shuichi is determined to get his bearings ASAP. To what end, Shuichi? To what end? 

“Because I’m totally okay with it if you are. In fact, I think the genre we’ve shifted into requires a half-to-full episode of reminiscing about all the hardships we’ve overcome to get to this moment! Preferably via montage with our OP song playing in the background!”

“Kaito this is already an incredibly weird situation - please don’t get too meta on me, my poor bi heart can’t handle it.”

A fellow astronaut?

I think we actually were talking about the position Kaito would take as an astronaut, and pilot was mentioned as a strong possibility - so I guess I shouldn’t be surprised to see it up here! Yeah... hotshot pilot really does go well with Kaito’s character, doesn’t it...

“Kaito what the fuck are you talking about and who am I and -”

“Hold up fellow rival I’m totally monologuing right now ANYWAY AS I WAS SAYING -”

Honestly though does anyone else find it hilarious that Shuichi’s absolute confusion didn’t break Kaito’s immersion in the fantasy in the slightest?

I do love the word ‘eccentric’ for Kaito, because it honestly wouldn’t have been the first thing to come to mind for me - but I guess to Shuichi, who is so withdrawn in himself and anxious all the time, an aggressively positive extrovert who chases his ambitions and believes in himself/everyone around him so strongly would be a completely alien concept to him! I actually think that it’s the fact that Kaito believes in Shuichi so strongly, and not just in himself, that throws Shuichi off the most, too!

So, um, did you guys have judges giving you scores? Was this done in private or via actual accredited competition? It’s clearly not a traditional race based on speed, so...

Assuming this fantasy is one that’s being judged by other people (because once again I’m thinking about the fantasy scenarios way too seriously), I can sort of see this taking place in the hangar before they go into their planes. So Kaito spots his rival pilot and confronts him, because this will be their last time competing together and chances are he’s just realizing how significant the ‘rival’ pilot has been in his life.... hm ~ 

Oh! He’s getting serious!

It is their way of connecting. What else will they have once the competition is put to rest?

Kaito is going to have to confront the fact that all of the people he’s trying to nurture and help grow will be left behind once he goes into space, though. I... suppose this is hinting at that, just a little bit. He dreams big, but big dreams come with sacrifices.

But, of course, then he wouldn’t be able to ever achieve his dream of going to space.

S... Shuichi, you do remember that you aren’t actually the pilot he’s ‘talking’ to, right? It does seem significant that Shuichi is losing himself to the role, though. Has he done that in any of the other events? Minus Kokichi’s of course, considering the fact that Shuichi was himself in that one, I haven’t noticed anything on this level from the ones I’ve done so far. And with that said, you could easily read into it as Shuichi commenting on their training nights together. They do seem like the only times Shuichi has been legitimately happy - outside of his time with Kaede, of course.

Ah, that stings a bit. 8′D This is a pretty good reminder that, despite me loving the ship so much, Kaito’s perfect fantasy is not Shuichi - or at least, not Shuichi as he is now. Actually, I know the game is pushing for potential Maki!endgame but I think Kaede might fit the bill better. I remember noticing it a lot in the first chapter (and... uh, low-key shipping them tbh), but Kaito always seemed really impressed by Kaede, and whenever Kaito was about to chip in with what I imagined to be a big friendship/supportive-type speech about ‘never giving up!’ and ‘believe in your friends!’, Kaede would always beat him to the punch... and yet Kaito never seemed to feel threatened by her. They’re both pretty headstrong, and Kaede did strike me as being competitive in her own way - honestly, as a rarepair ship they would work really well together!

With that said, I can imagine Shuichi’s fantasy involving someone supporting them through all his worries (COUGHKAITOCOUGHKAEDE) so... you know. It almost feels like Shuichi is getting to live out a bit of his own fantasy situation right here - being in a position where he can hold his own against Kaito, and where Kaito recognizes him as an equal while still being his supportive self, with his eyes only on him...

also I feel like I should note, just because Shuichi isn’t Kaito’s ultimate ideal doesn’t mean that he wouldn’t be up there. In fact, I’d argue that Kaito’s big thing is raising people up to the level where they can be as confident in themselves as he is in them, and in himself. Maybe in the future when Shuichi reaches that level Kaito could see something more in him? okay maybe not in the game canon but post-game fan material wink wink nudge nudge guys plz

Ah, so he is able to move on. Whelp, Kaito is officially in a better mental state than me, hoarder of physical items, internet tabs and memories lmao

All jokes aside, it is pretty impressive to be able to work towards your goal with such determination. I can understand why Kaito could probably grate on a few people playing this, but I really find that sort of attitude impressive.

.... Quick question. Is Kaito saying ‘man’ as general slang or is he acknowledging Shuichi as a man? As in, Kaito is confirmed to be at least bi under the right (shounen) circumstances? I’M JUST ASKING... FOR SCIENCE...

Shuichi just remembered that he isn’t an actual pilot, huh. 8′D Just pilot with your mind, sweet cheeks! You already drive brain cars; surely a plan can’t be that big of a jump, right?

OH MY GOD I THOUGHT THE SCENE WAS NEARLY OVER BUT APPARENTLY NOT

I AM OKAY WITH THIS

Kaito really likes someone that can keep up with him energy-wise, huh?

Oooooomfg this is so shounen-genre it hurts

“My... ahoge... is so.... confused right now....!”

DID YOU REALLY ONLY JUST REMEMBER

I... I think this is the first time Shuichi acknowledged the bed itself as a tool of the room before actually interacting with it in any way lmao

Whoa Shuichi whOA

Oh yeah, this is definitely Kaito trying to provoke a reaction from someone he thinks will fight back, not an attempt at intimidation.

KAITO YOU HAVE TO BE DOING THIS ON PURPOSE

is it close enough for Shuichi to feel those scraggly goatee bits I don’t know why but his goatee will never not be funny to me

:O !!!!

This is basically the closest Kaito can get to a confession, huh?

It’s interesting to get it at this point, after the reveal of the disease he has. It’s another clear indicator that Kaito has trouble being honest with other people about vulnerabilities despite him doing his best to encourage other people to rely on him. And it’s strange, because he’s fully honest and eager about his own ambitions and passions! And love itself is a passion of sorts, but this is the type of thing that requires a certain level of vulnerability, and it’s also something where he doesn’t have full control over his destiny the way he does over his other goals - if the person doesn’t love you back, then there’s very little you can do about it. I hesitate to go so far as to say that he has a fear of rejection, but he definitely doesn’t want to be the one to say ‘I’m in love with you’ before the other person does, as far as I can tell...

“Quite literally, actually. See, look!”

But man, Shuichi is literally acknowledging the situation he’s in (dubious as it is lmao) and knows that there’s a 99% chance that Kaito wants to confess to his feelings to ‘him’. Shuichi, you do realize what a powerful position you have right now, right?

So I guess the question is whether Shuichi is hesitating because he doesn’t feel the same way, he just doesn’t want to take advantage of the situation... or whether Shuichi wants to earn that confession as ‘himself’, and not just as some fictional ideal manufactured by the power of the room they’re in. I suppose that depends on the viewer!

I’ve made it pretty clear that I’ve been shipping them for a while so, uh, you all probably know how I want to read it, but there is plenty of room for other interpretations too ~ they do have a fantastic bro-ship going on too!

Aaaah, Kaito :( I have a feeling that while he’d be willing to pursue a gay relationship with pilot!Shuichi, he understands how unusual that would be in ‘that world’. I wonder if that means he would be that open and understanding with his own sexuality if it ever came up in-game? He doesn’t seem to be struggling with his own feelings in the sense of ‘oooh ~ forbidden love ~’, but rather the idea of his rival’s own feelings being returned.

Between Kokichi’s love key and this one, Shuichi is a mess.

Ooh, maybe I was wrong? He’s psyching himself up to do a proper confession after all!

Well, adrenaline does have a way of ramping up all of your emotions! Aaaw, Kaito looks so excited! Rain or shine, rejection or no, he’s officially decided to come clean after all!

NO SHUICHI TAKE SOME INITIATIVE

This is the one issue they have in the game too - Shuichi is relying on Kaito to do all the emotional and communication-based heavy-lifting, and it means that Shuichi won’t press Kaito on the issues that need to be pressed in his attempt to stay in Kaito’s good graces. Aaah, I’m so worried about my boys...

“BE THE SHOUNEN RIVAL YOU WERE MEANT TO BE, SHUICHI!”

“I’m already being a stand-in for the original protagonist, what else do you want from me?!”

“It’s how I get turned on, okay?”

“It’s what - ?!”

“I-I mean fired up! Yeah, I totally meant fired up...!”

This is the gayest competition-based ship I’ve seen since Yowamushi Pedal’s Toumaki

You would like it to be that way, huh? Man, I do wish we could see some of the consequences of these nights in the interactions during the game, but I guess what would be super tricky to program and, uh, game-breaking... but I suppose that’s what fanfiction is for, right? 8′D

I really didn’t expect this to be so enlightening on the two of them as characters though, and their platonic relationship as well as their shipping potential! This may be up with Kokichi’s as one of my favourites ~

[brogueinoxfords]

continued from x

“……….who th’ fuck says that when their family just fuckin’ died?!” It’s not what he means to say when he opens his mouth, but in the pain and cloud of grief, his brain to mouth filter seems to be gone. “ ‘couldn’t be bothered’? Y’ know what? Fuck you, lady. I ain’t gonna stand here an’ listen t’ y’ disrespect ‘im. I might not be family by blood, but I’m apparently more family to ‘im than you ever was.” To Eggsy’s embarrassment, his lower lip trembles a little, eyes filling with tears he fights to hold back. “He was my world. Don’t talk about him like he was nothin’.”

“Who are you to dictate what precisely, it means to be family? Morgan Campbell lied to our faces for thirty years, and when he finally does die, doing something stupidly dangerous no doubt, he expects me to be content with a young little brat like you taking /our family things/?”

The woman was tall, and did resemble Merlin, with her strong nose and severe countenance. But in her eyes was a mixture of sadness and rage. “He wasn’t ever around and never could tell us anything and then goes off somewhere to get himself murdered.” She seethed, gripping onto her folders and papers tightly.

“My younger brother thought helping people was the right thing to do, and now he’s gone and you get what remains of him! A whelp from the slums of England he was most likely fucking!” Her nails were digging into the envelope that she practically threw at him, the sneer on her face seeming to tighten with pain.

[brightlycoloredteacups]

Phone Calls

Whelp, what can I say? You guys are nothing but a wealth of inspiration. As always, spelling and grammar mistakes are mine entirely. 

NSFW: Phone sex. 

Have fun guys!

You whip your phone out the minute it buzzes. Looking at it, heat spreads over your face. “What are you wearing?” you sigh, declining to answer it. Normally, you would send something back to Ivar, but right now, you had reports to fill out. Not the most riveting thing in the world, but you were nothing if not efficient at your job. Undeterred by the lack of responses, he keeps sending you texts. “I miss you.”

“My sheets smell like you.”

“I wish you were here so I could touch you.” Eventually, you become too distracted. You send him a text back “not now, working.” And turn your phone off. You go back to filling your reports, only to have your phone ring a few minutes later. You state the name of your company, your own name, and ask how to help the person on the other line. “You’ve been ignoring me.” Ivar whines on the other end of the line.

           “How the hell did you get this number?” you hiss, mortified. If your boss caught you, you’d be fired on the spot. “Gladys gave it to me,” You squeeze your eyes shut. Of course, she had. Your friend was entirely too invested in your relationship and would relish the story you’d be able to tell her after today. You stopped that line of desire in its tracks. “Ivar, I have to work.”

“But baaabyyyy,” he whines. “Don’t you want to talk to me?”

“No, because I know exactly what you’re up to, and I’m too bus-”

“Where you aware I’m so hard, it’s painful?” You groan. “Don’t you have a job?” you hiss, feeling the beginning of arousal start between your legs. Heaven’s that voice would be the death of you one day. “It’s your fault.” You remain quiet, biting your lip. “you always wear that perfume. It lingers on my sheets for days. Always reminds me about what we’ve done in my bed.”

           You make a rather valiant effort to plod through with your work, but your face was red and your folds were most definitively wet now. “You know, the way you drag your tongue across the length of my cock, teasing me. The way it circles my tip, and then slowly goes back down.” you hear his voice getting heavier, a little breathier. That’s when you realize, “Are you touching yourself?” you ask quietly. You can’t actually believe this is happening. “Of course I am, I always touch myself to thoughts of you.” You let out a pleased squeak. This is definitely happening right now. “You drive me crazy you know.”

           “Oh? Tell me more?” You bite your knuckle, cursing yourself. Your heart spoke before your brain did. Ivar chuckled, it was too late to back out now. So, you listened to him talk, wishing for nothing more than to be with him and do all the things he’s describing. “well, you do this thing, after you’re done licking me, you give me this wicked, wicked grin. That’s the moment I know you’re going to devour me entirely. And you do, you’re such a naughty girl.” You shift in your seat, trying to relieve some of the pressure between your thighs. “It drives me crazy when you suck my cock the way you do. Using that smooth hand of yours to get at the places you can’t reach.”

           He lets out a loud groan that damn near has you bolting from your seat to get back to his apartment. “But what I like best is being between your thighs. You taste so sweet baby, and you make the most delicious sounds. All those squeaks and moans. The way you tug at my hair and roll your hips as I suck your clit. Then you go quiet when you’re close, and you tense.” He lets out another ragged moan.

           “Then, your legs start to shake with the force of it, and I know if I angle my fingers exactly right, you’ll call my name, breathless, needy. Do you need me baby?”

“Yes.” You whisper desperately. “Yes, I do.” Ivar chuckles. He goes quiet for some moments, breathing heavy. “Ivar?”

“Mm?”

“What comes next?”

“I thought you were busy.”

“Ivar,” you whine, not caring if someone passing by heard you. You were far too deep into it now. “Well, I fuck you next.” He says as though it’s the most obvious thing in the world. “You’re so wet by that time, my cock just slides right into you. Then, I start thrusting away. I make sure to nibble that spot on your neck, and twist your nipples between my fingers. I know you like it when I do that, don’t you baby?” You swallow the lump in your throat. “Of course I do.”

“Your hips push back against mine and you moan, your nails scratching at my back. And we just fuck and fuck until,” he lets out a loud groan and curses, calling your name breathlessly, as if in prayer. “I’ve just made a mess.” He says, sounding satisfied.

           You were going to reply when your boss peaks over the top of your cubicle. “Are you done with those reports yet?” he snaps. “Uh oh, looks like I got you in trouble.” Ivar teases. “N-no sir, I’m working on them,” you say.

“Hop to it! I don’t pay you to sit on your ass all day talking to your mother!”

“Yes sir.” You mumble, You sitck your tongue out at him the moment his back is to you. “Ivar, I really have to go now.” You tell him. “Of course, I’ll make it up to you. I promise.” You smile, “I know.” You tell him. Hanging up the phone.

           Somehow, you manage to push through the rest of the day, getting the reports in on time. On the drive back to Ivar’s apartment, a smile never leaves your lips. You can’t wait to get your reward.