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#and then is forever left with the haunting feeling of wrongness
cluelessteam · 2 days
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Whispers Through Time: {~Shadows of Suspicion~}
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Summary: After being mysteriously transported into the world of House of the Dragon, a modern-day woman poses as a seer to gain entry into the Targaryen court. Armed with knowledge of the future, she secretly warns Rhaenyra and Daemon of looming dangers while hiding her true identity. As she grows closer to both, romantic tension builds, but so do the risks of her deception. With Daemon's suspicions rising and Rhaenyra’s trust deepening, the reader must navigate her lies while trying to alter their tragic fate—before everything unravels.
Characters: Rhaenyra & Daemon
Pairing: Rhaenyra x Fem!Reader x Daemon
Word Count: 1383
Tag List: @snowtargaryen
Chapter 6 --- Chapter 7
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The tension in King’s Landing was mounting.
You could feel the shift in the air every time you walked through the castle’s halls. Eyes lingered on you for just a moment too long, hushed whispers followed your movements, and the weight of suspicion grew heavier with each passing day. The silent game of intrigue you had started was becoming more dangerous than you ever anticipated.
Daemon’s words haunted you. Secrets don’t stay hidden forever, Y/N.
He had known. Or at least, suspected. And Rhaenyra—there was no doubt in your mind that she had already started connecting the dots. The princess had become colder in your presence, her once friendly demeanor replaced by something much more calculating.
You had managed to keep your secrets for this long, but how much longer could you maintain the facade?
You sat in the dim light of your chambers, a piece of parchment laid before you. The next warning was written carefully, the ink still drying as you watched the words you had
crafted to change the course of history. Each note you left was like a ripple in the timeline, spreading outward and impacting events in ways you could never fully control.
The next message was vital—one that would steer Rhaenyra’s decisions in a crucial way, altering the fragile balance of power.
But this time, you hesitated.
The previous close encounters with both Rhaenyra and Daemon had shaken you more than you cared to admit. Your heart still pounded at the memory of Daemon’s smirk, his quiet threat, and Rhaenyra’s piercing gaze as she subtly questioned your every move. One wrong step, and it could all come crashing down.
Yet you couldn’t stop. Too much was at stake now. You had already planted the seeds, and now they had to be watered. Carefully, delicately, you folded the note, preparing to deliver it when the time was right.
You hadn’t seen Daemon in the last few days, and part of you had hoped that perhaps his interest had waned. But when you least expected it, he made his presence known.
It was late in the evening when you found yourself outside in the garden courtyard, seeking solace in the cool night air. The stars above twinkled faintly, and the quiet hum of the distant city offered a rare sense of peace.
“Out enjoying the evening, are we?” a familiar voice drawled from behind you.
Your pulse quickened, but you forced yourself to remain calm as you turned to see Daemon standing just a few paces away, his usual smirk plastered across his face.
“I needed some air,” you replied evenly, your heart racing despite your calm tone.
Daemon stepped closer, his hands casually resting at his sides, though you could feel the tension radiating from him. He studied you for a long moment, his gaze sharp and probing.
“I’ve been thinking,” he said, his voice low and dangerously smooth, “about you.”
You swallowed, your throat suddenly dry. “About me, my lord?”
Daemon took another step closer, his eyes never leaving yours. “You’re quite the enigma, aren’t you? Appearing out of nowhere, earning the favor of the princess, slipping through the cracks like a shadow.”
Your mind raced, searching for a response that would divert his attention without raising further suspicion. “I serve the realm, as any loyal subject should,” you said carefully, avoiding his direct challenge.
His smirk deepened. “Do you, though?”
Before you could reply, Daemon leaned in slightly, his voice dropping to a whisper. “Everyone here has a role to play. I wonder—what’s yours?”
You forced yourself to hold his gaze, even though every instinct screamed at you to run. Daemon was no fool. He was testing you, pushing your limits to see how far he could go before you broke.
But you couldn’t break. Not now.
“I am but a healer, my lord,” you said softly, your voice steady despite the pounding of your heart. “Nothing more.”
Daemon’s eyes narrowed slightly, and for a moment, you thought he might press further. But then, just as quickly as the tension had risen, it dissipated. He straightened, his smirk returning to its usual playful expression.
“We’ll see,” he said cryptically before turning and walking away, leaving you standing there in the dark garden, your heart still racing from the encounter.
You had passed his test this time, but how much longer could you keep this up?
The following morning, the air in the castle was buzzing with anticipation. A high-ranking visitor had arrived at court, though the details were being kept under wraps. You could hear the servants whispering about it in the corridors, speculating on who it could be and what their business might entail.
You knew better than to ask questions openly, but your curiosity burned all the same. The arrival of someone important always shifted the balance of power in subtle ways, and you couldn’t afford to be caught off guard.
As the day wore on, you noticed the increased activity within the Red Keep. Servants rushed about, preparing for what you assumed would be a private meeting between the royal family and their guest. It was clear that whatever business was being conducted, it was meant to stay behind closed doors.
But then, by sheer chance, you overheard a conversation between two courtiers that set your mind spinning.
“It is him, isn’t it?” one of the courtiers whispered, glancing around nervously.
The other nodded, lowering their voice. “Yes. The Prince of Dorne.”
Your heart skipped a beat. The Prince of Dorne? Here?
You couldn’t help but feel a spark of intrigue. The presence of Dorne in King’s Landing meant there were discussions of alliances—or, worse yet, potential conflict. This was information that could change everything if used wisely.
And it was information that Rhaenyra needed to know. But how?
The weight of the folded parchment felt heavier in your hands than ever before as you made your way through the shadowy corridors of the Red Keep. You had to be even more careful now, knowing that Daemon’s eyes were on you and Rhaenyra’s suspicions had grown.
The Prince of Dorne’s arrival was significant. You couldn’t ignore it. But you also couldn’t deliver the note in the usual place—not after your recent encounters. You needed to be smarter, more careful.
You made your way to the hidden alcove in a part of the Keep that was seldom used. The old stone walls loomed around you, the only sound the soft echo of your footsteps. You checked your surroundings carefully, ensuring that no one had followed you.
After what felt like an eternity of waiting in the silence, you slipped the folded note into the small crevice in the stone. It was a new hiding spot—one you had discovered by chance—but it was discreet enough that only someone who knew where to look would ever find it.
You took a deep breath, feeling the tension in your shoulders ease slightly. The warning was delivered. Now, all you could do was wait and hope that it reached the right hands.
But as you turned to leave, a flicker of movement in the shadows caught your eye.
You froze, your heart leaping into your throat.
Someone had been watching you.
You could feel the blood drain from your face as you stood there, paralyzed with fear. For a moment, the world seemed to stand still as you tried to process what had just happened. Someone had been following you. But who?
Had Daemon sent someone to spy on you? Had Rhaenyra finally figured out that you were the one leaving the notes?
Your mind raced, but there was no time to think. You had to move—now.
Without looking back, you quickly made your way down the corridor, your footsteps soft but swift. You couldn’t let them catch you. You couldn’t let them know that you had seen them. Whoever it was, they had been careful, staying in the shadows, watching from a distance. But their presence had been undeniable.
You didn’t stop until you reached the safety of your chambers, your heart still pounding in your chest. Whoever was following you knew something—and that knowledge could be your undoing.
You were running out of time. The game of shadows and secrets had just become much more dangerous.
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zukkaoru · 2 years
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it's all "must a book have a plot? is it not enough to just write about vibes?" until nathaniel hawthorne writes a 300+ page novel based entirely on haunted house vibes. then it's suddenly "too long winded" and "nothing happens" and he "took 300 pages to say something that could have been said in 40"
#/hj#is this the best novel i've ever read? absolutely not oh my god he goes on and on about philosophy and his paragraphs are SO LONG#but listen. it's about the vibes. it's about the haunted house. it's about the generational curse and is it actually a curse? who knows!#it's about the mystery of whether or not something supernatural is happening or if everything has an explanation#it's about the cyclical tragedy and characters both doomed by the narrative and haunting the narrative#it's about how dwelling forever on what could have been will prevent you from moving forward#it's about how you shouldn't judge someone based on appearance#it's about how the end of your life is only the beginning of your legacy and YOU get to decide if you will be simply repeating the actions#of your ancestors. or if you are going to be the one who finally breaks the chain and says NO. this is wrong and i won't stand for it#it's about choosing which family you hold onto and which family you distance yourself from#it's about the fact that alice deserved better and hepzibah's loyalty deserves recognition and phoebe might give everyone sunshine#but she should learn to keep some of it for herself too#it's about the fact that hawthorne takes 300 pages to say:#our property and every physical thing we have in this life will not follow us and we should not live our lives according to the whims dead#men left in their wake. but it does no one any good if we erase the past entirely#you just have to be willing to see it#SORRY APPARENTLY I HAVE. A LOT OF FEELINGS ABOUT THIS BOOK LOL#hello grace here
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cushblunticoot · 7 months
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sorry dint mind me basically just thinking very normcore about how fuckingeh syckk it woukd be. For crezia to be a good guy for most of their relationship w astarion and helping him out until her hardship inevitably catches back up with her for the 60billionth time and just retconning everything and them both deciding like. Actually fine. Lets make us both worse. Its where we were always going why not just let it be what it may
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poisonf0rest · 2 months
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𝐎𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐜*𝐦𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐖𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐞𝐫’𝐬 𝐁𝐥𝐨𝐜𝐤 2
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𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐈, 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐈𝐈, 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐈𝐈𝐈
love and deepspace: zayne x fem!reader
tags: smut, teasing, oral, cunnilingus, road head, car sex woohoo, pwp
word count: 6.6K
synopsis: Between being in the midst of your medical residency and being an up-and-coming author, it’s safe to say your personal life has been placed on stand-still. That is, until your editor decided that your next novel needed explicit smut scenes. That is, until your mentor and boss ends up striking a deal for you to help with “inspiration” for said novel. That is, until you fuck Zayne four times and your life changes forever. - partially inspired by manga of the same name by Nae Awaji
original ao3 link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/57209872/chapters/145519015
art credit: @/kaito_aii
This is the last time you have sex on a weekday.
When Zayne left your apartment last night, you tried to write while the aftereffects of everything he did to you- everything he watched you do- still lingered. But you were beyond distracted, unable to even sit still without being assaulted with vivid flashbacks, a mix of mortification and lust coursing anew. 
You shut your laptop and scream into your pillow. 
Only after feeling sufficiently lightheaded do you shut off the lights and try to sleep, but the damned thing avoids you like the plague, and you stare at the ceiling for an untimed eternity. Everything feels wrong. Your blanket feels too thick, your skin too tight, the entire room too warm, too empty.
You don’t get more than three hours of sleep that night.
But it should be common knowledge that hospitals rest for no one, and you jolt out of bed to the sound of your pager beeping, rushing in while the sky is still dark.
The ambulance pulls in at the same time you do and the paramedics are already yelling out the status to everyone at the bay: forty-three-year-old male, chest trauma, performing CPR. It’s a race, a rush and rhythm you know well. You’re scrubbed down and entering the operating room alongside two other surgeons. The patient is intubated and they give the countdown before cutting him open.
It took two and a half hours to perform the surgery and stop all the internal bleeding, and by the end of it, you were exhausted, both physically and mentally. 
But this was the most in control you’ve felt for a while. A sharp sort of stress that forced your hands into a trained precision and your mind into a rigorous sort of calm. It was almost as though you became a different person entirely, one you both admire and hate. 
She’s calm and collected, only speaking when needed in commands to the operating room. She demands respect. She is who your mother is proud of, who you were supposed to be.
You’ve only just washed your hands and finished debriefing when you feel that half of you begin to slip away once more. And as the stress leaves, your mind wanders back to last night. To Zayne.
Thoughts that haunt you for the rest of the morning.
Finally, the clock hits eight and the ER is busy with the morning crowd. You do what you can until the other residents clock in, leaving to finally eat breakfast and get some sort of caffeine before your headache gets any worse. 
Luckily, the vending machine has your favorite melonpan and green tea, and you get two of each. Sitting down, open your laptop and begin eating in the hallway outside the surgery bay, your manuscript staring right back at you, mocking.
Your eyes burn holes through the cursor blinking at the top of the page, and you try to will yourself to just type something, anything, but it doesn't work, and you end up slamming the computer shut with a sigh.
Unintentionally, your male lead has begun to resemble Zayne more and more- not physically, at least- but in his little mannerisms, his overly formal speech habit, and even his uncharacteristic love of sweets. Your lips quirk up at the memory.
But speak of the devil, and he shall appear.
Zayne comes from the other end of the hallway, looking like he also might be coming out from a surgery. He’s only meters away when his eyes lock onto yours.
You straighten against the chair, a shiver of heat racing down your spine as his mere presence sends an onslaught of flashbacks that are nothing short of sinful.
Stop. What happened last night is part of a professional, mutually beneficial deal. Zayne is still your mentor— your boss too, in some contexts— and you refuse to have these thoughts about him in your place of work.
Smiling, your fingers still against the keyboard as you hope the whole thing doesn’t look as strained as it feels.
Zayne looks the opposite of amused. If anything, he appears pissed.
His gaze narrows on you, and for a second, you think you spot something else behind the cold indifference. But the look passes as quickly as it appeared, his face back to its usual stony expression, and you must have imagined it.
“Good morning, Dr. Zayne,” you say.
Zayne stalls, shoulders tensing for a moment before he nods and continues walking. He doesn’t spare you another glance as he passes, doesn’t say another word, the awkward tension so thick it almost makes you choke on your melonpan.
Your eyes trail after him until he rounds the corner.
Well, that went splendidly.
You try to type again, but it turns out your brain is a useless lump of flesh because no matter how many times you read over the paragraph, the words fail to register. You huff out an exasperated breath, slam the laptop shut, and drag yourself to your office to prepare for rounds.
Even so, you go through your morning routine with a strained smile, a newfound weight pulling against your chest, a sharp sort of pain between guilt and longing you’ve never felt before. 
—----
Zayne is going to lose his fucking mind. 
He is an adult, he reminds himself. A well-mannered, respectful, professional adult. 
So why can’t he stop imagining your face underneath him as you come undone? Why can’t he get the memory of every sound you made, the overly sweet way you said his name, the very cadence of your voice out of his head? 
And the way you said please. 
Zayne grinds his teeth hard enough that something clicks in the back of his jawbone, his usual flat expression twisted with a scowl that sends other doctors and residents scrambling out from his path. His clipboard groans under the pressure from his grip, and Zayne can’t make it to his private office fast enough before he slams the door shut and drags his palm down his face. 
He sees you every time he closes his eyes.
“Fuck.”
Zayne swore to himself that helping you would change nothing in the workplace, and yet clearly, only one of you was mature enough to hold that part of your deal up.
This must be a new level of depravity Zayne never assumed he would stoop to.
But it had been torture to only watch you last night. A beautiful, painful torture he would subject himself to again and again and again just for the chance to have you writhing against him like that once more. 
The way your doe eyes had practically begged for him to fuck you all on their own when he forced you to look up nearly made him come in his trousers. And thank god you were too far gone to notice how desperate he was, grinding insistently against your bedsheets while you came around his fingers. And now… 
And now Zayne was fucking hard again in his office of all places. 
It was a wonder he got anything done anymore.
Zayne hasn't had a lover in years and it's beginning to wear him thin. And yet, the idea of finding someone else to satiate his needs doesn’t appeal to him in the slightest. Not when his mind is so consumed with the thought of you, and the sounds you made, the way you looked at him, the way your eyes would roll to the back of your head every time he curled his fingers into that spot inside of you.
God, he should have just asked you out on a date first. 
Restraint had come easy to him. Zayne was practically raised on it, his very life dependent on his ability to restrain his Evol, the lives of others dependent on his patience and restraint in the operating room. 
But no, when it came to you, everything failed him. 
Maybe he had been a little harsh this morning. Zayne doesn’t know. He doesn't want to think about it.
Running a hand through his hair, Zayne imagines bumping into you again. Would you still be happy to see him, smiling as you did this morning, or would you ignore him just as he did you? 
“About this morning,” Zayne stops, restarts. “I’m sorry for avoiding conversation earlier today.” A groan, “No, I can’t begin like that. This morning I wasn’t myself, there was a patient who required percutaneous coronary intervention and the stress must have gotten to me.” 
He tries again, and again, gesturing to his empty office before dragging a palm down his face. “I must be going insane.”
Zayne has never felt more foolish in his life.
He doesn't even have the excuse of a lack of experience in this field. In his previous relationships, he was always the one to initiate dates and intimacy, and it was the same with any relation that had lasted longer than one night.
But you are different.
The thought of taking his time with you makes him weak. To finally have your legs wrapped around his waist, to finally hear his name on your lips, to finally have your body pressed flush against his and hear you beg for him once more.
He wants to do so much more for you, wants you to use him as you need, to take and take everything he has to give. Wants to surrender to your every whim and every outrageous idea you’ve ever had floating around in that unpredictable head of yours. Wants to taste you, and see if you taste as sweet as you sound when you beg.
Wants to know how your cunt feels and what face you would make when he finally, finally fucks you.
God, Zayne wants to ruin you.
He wants so badly it drives him mad.
Zayne can't avoid you, and he shouldn’t. There are still matters to discuss for your novel and a deal to hold up. He is a man of his word.
A date.
That could work. Just a way to get closer, as colleagues, as partners. 
You would have to spend time together outside the hospital, where the air is clear of any distractions and expectations and Zayne can get his head on straight. Even moreso, it should be something nice, something that will hopefully take your mind off your impending deadline. 
Right, that would be perfect. An opportunity to simply be providing you with the proper inspiration and guidance, as a good mentor should, and keep his end of the deal should you ask for another inspiration session.
Turning back in his chair, Zayne begins filtering through his email and paper files, until something slips from the growing stack. 
The annual charity gala.
As a resident yourself, you were likely already invited, so proposing the two of you go together shouldn’t be too ostentatious, right?
Zayne stares down at the gilded gold lettering.
No. It was definitely out of line in so many ways. But the only other option was to continue down this path, to continue fooling himself that he only agreed to be your fuck buddy out of courtesy and care, and not these wretched thoughts that plauge his every waking moment. 
It would mean he’d be completely at your mercy for seeing you next, whenever you needed him. Or his body, at least.
Zayne doesn’t have the willpower to last that long. Besides, this is more efficient.
So, Zayne opens the letter, pulls the invitation card from its envelope, and begins drafting an email to you in hopes of preserving a little bit of his dignity. 
He didn’t even have to wait an hour to get your response: you said yes. 
______
Zayne opens the car door for you, ever the gentleman. 
Sliding into the passenger seat, you take extra care not to snag the hem of your cocktail dress on your heels or the door. By the time you buckle your seat belt, and the car roars to life, dashboard glowing a soft orange.
"Ready?" Zayne asks, adjusting his cuff as he begins to reverse out of the parking spot.
It’s the first time Zayne has formally invited you to be his plus one, and the thought of being seen beside him like this- at such a formal gala, no less- is all at once thrilling and nauseating.
Zayne steals another glance at you, and where your hands lay clenched in your lap. "It’s just a hospital event, you may very well see other residents there."
A laugh. "I'm not sure if that makes me feel better or worse."
Even without the extra stress from attending this gala, your stomach has been in knots all day long-- your manuscript is due in less than a week. You’ve written a lot, and Zayne’s hands-on “experience” helped you get ample inspiration for most of the main scenes. Yet you can feel the deadline creeping up, the sense of impending doom looming over you.
Of course Zayne notices. "We'll try and have fun, it's just a couple of hours. I heard they also have billiard tables, if you’re interested?” A tap on the steering wheel, then he adds, a little quieter, “Your dress is nice. The color suits you.”
You smile, but your eyes don’t leave the road. Instead, you seem to zone out on the row of streetlights, shadows cast over your face as they pass by, one by one. 
“You clean up pretty well yourself, doctor.”
Zayne continues. “Tell me more about your novel’s progress, then. If you need any more assistance…” he trails off, and you feel a prickling heat creep up the back of your neck. Finally, you look away from the window, and Zayne relaxes against his seat. 
So you begin to tell him about the newest trope your editor wants you to include, a classic in enemies-to-lovers books: forced proximity. “The concept is great. Who doesn’t love it when the two characters who swear they hate each other accidentally get stuck together and turned on at the worst possible time?” 
You ramble, propping your arm against the car armrest as you turn to face Zayne. "So,” you say, ”I'm trying to think of ways they could find themselves in such a situation. Maybe they're cornered by guards or captured by a mutual enemy, or we combine the classic injury trope so they can’t move.” 
"That is one option," he says, eyes still on the road. A turn, and Zayne shifts gears as the car speeds ahead. 
“A classic my mind says no, but my body says yes dilemma.” You debate telling Zayne about the premise around aphrodisiacs and sex pollen, but you think that really might be pushing him too far. You are in a car, after all, and an accident is the last thing you want. 
Instead, you ask, "Have you read any enemy-to-lover books?"
He shrugs. "I've had some experience."
"I'm sure you have."
Zayne shoots you a sharp look. Your smile grows, slow and wicked. 
"And I've done a bit of research," he clarifies, voice flat just to prove a point.
"Right, research."
"Well, to best help you, I thought…” Zayne’s brows furrow as he merges lanes, letting the blinking of the indicator fill the silence before clearing his throat. “I thought reading a book or two in the same field would help me understand your own book better. I must say yours is far better written than some of these popular novels.” 
The mental image of Zayne sneaking a read at some filthy romantasy book has you giggling.
"And you’re sure that's the reason?”
"Of course," he says, though his face is slightly pink.
You feign suspicion, poking at Zayne’s arm. "What if this whole time, you’ve been hunting me down as a means to read my unreleased books?  Then the only reason you agreed to this arrangement is because you're secretly a stalker fan."
"Interesting theory,” a smirk, one you see pull at the corner of Zayne’s lips. “But not the only reason."
"Oh? What’s the other then?"
Zayne smiles, the dim light from the dashboard sharpening his features. Another turn, you spare a glance at the GPS only to see you’re nearly at the gala venue. But still, no answer came, not as Zayne seemed to refocus on the road, shifting gears as the light turns green. 
You groan, “You’re not even listening anymore.” 
“I am.” Zayne shoots you a look from the corner of his eye, one hand leaving the wheel to rest against your thigh. “There is, however, a difference between listening and answering.” 
But now it’s your turn to stop listening. You can’t, not when his thumb does that thing again, tracing mindless circles against your inner thigh while he looks back at the road. 
It does something, to have his hand there, warm and heavy. Something that has your thighs pressing together, heat creeping down your neck.
Zayne catches the motion. Of course, he does. And he squeezes, just a little.
And then a brilliantly wretched idea hits you.
"Do you have any suggestions?" You ask, trying to keep your tone innocent, even as you part your thighs just a little further. "I mean, you did research and all. Surely, you remember something useful about the plots. Or the sex scenes."
"The sex scenes," Zayne echoes, his voice tight.
"Well, yes. They're kind of important. They're why people buy the books." You lick your lips. "For example, surely one of those books you read for research had interesting forbidden tropes?"
"It's likely." His jaw ticks. "You'll have to be more specific.”
"Well..." you draw the word out, shifting in your seat. “You know where else would be a really inappropriate place for a character to get a boner?” Reaching over, you glide your hand up Zayne’s thigh, mirroring his placement on your own. “In a car, doctor.”
Zayne thanked every god for their mercy the moment he got to a red light, car jolting to a halt as he eyed you with a frown.
“Behave," he scolds. "This is beyond reckless."
The genuine frustration edged into Zayne’s voice makes you hesitate, and you move to sit up, retreating your hand from his thigh when it brushes past something unmistakably hard. 
You feel Zayne tense beneath you, the car jerking forward before speeding along as though nothing had happened. Oh, but your lips cracked into a vicious grin as you stretched your way fully over the center console, wriggling your ass in the air on the far side of the seat. 
Really, you should have realized that the stern, self-deprived Zayne gets off on scolding you as much as you did. 
You watch him closely, but despite his harsh words, he never moves to actually stop you. So you continue, scraping your nails up his trousers as your mouth follows, hot breath leaving damp spots against the expensive cotton as Zayne’s thigh jumps under your touch. 
God, the click of his belt coming undone elicited a nearly Pavlovian response at this point, the sound of metal on metal making something in your core flutter. You waste no time going for his zipper, palming at the bulge straining into your touch as it pushes out from between the metal all on its own.
Zayne laments all the trust you placed in him as a driver. Despite being only minutes from the venue, he swore he was gripping the steering wheel hard enough for it to snap. A car behind him honks and Zayne swears under his breath, thoughts clouding over as your hands finish sliding his zipper down, gently palming at his cock as he inhales sharply at the feeling of your hot breath over clothed skin.
And the moan Zayne lets out when you lick the head of his cock is enough to have you gushing. But you never take him any deeper, blocked by your position over the passenger seat, settling with unsatisfactory kitten licks up and down his length, leaving sloppy marks without ever speeding up. 
Zayne shudders, huffing in frustration and restraint as he unconsciously tries to buck himself into your mouth, failing due to the awkward side angle you placed yourself in. Instead, you splay your hands over his lower belly, untucking his shirt as your fingers rub against his v-line, as you begin to suck just barely over this throbbing head. 
“You shouldn’t– fuck." His jaw flexes, and his fingers are white-knuckled, the veins in his forearms standing out with the strain.
The shock of hearing Zayne curse was almost a physical blow. The word was spoken more like a prayer than a profanity, something desperate and violent caught in his throat, a warning and plea all at once. It made something hot coil deep in your gut.
It made you want to push him further.
You must have made some type of sound muffled over his cock because Zayne hisses, his hand coming down from the steering wheel to grab at your hair, fingers threading into your scalp and pulling, just enough to hurt. 
"You are absolutely insufferable." Zayne's voice breaks into a moan. "Stop teasing me."
You pull off of him with a wet pop, sitting up and wiping the drool from your chin. "But I’m hardly doing anything. Don’t tell me you’re getting so hard just from a few kisses."
"Reckless. Lack of foresight. Do I need to teach you how to behave like an adult?" Zayne's grip on the steering wheel tightens, his jaw clenching. You can practically feel the heat radiating off him.
"No," you lean forward and kiss the head, lips wrapping around it as you swirl your tongue. Zayne's foot presses down on the gas and the car jerks forward. "But maybe I could use some help learning my lesson."
You swallow him down, and his hips jump. Humming around him, Zayne’s cock twitches, and before you can stabilize yourself he’s pushing your head down further. You don’t think he realizes he’s doing it, not with the way his hips stutter upwards, thickly corded muscles of his thighs tensing as you nearly choke. 
Another broken moan fills the car alongside the wet sounds of your mouth, drool leaking from the corners of your lips as his cock bumps the back of your throat. You gag, and Zayne’s grip on your head finally loosens, the wheels spinning over loose gravel as you pull off just to breathe.
You can't see him, not with the angle, but the feeling of his eyes on you, burning into the side of your face, and the heavy throb of his cock against your tongue was enough to know just how close he is. 
You're so distracted, tears blurring your vision, that you don't notice the car has stopped, not until Zayne's other hand is reaching over to cup your jaw, forcing your mouth off his cock and forcing your head up to look at him.
The moment your eyes meet, he frowns, thumb rubbing across your bottom lip, cleaning your smeared lipstick and spit from your ministrations. "Look at you," he hums. "What a mess."
The nearby spots in the lot are empty, but you’ve arrived early, and you can see cars parking close enough to send your heart racing. 
You glance at the clock- seven forty-six- and you know despite how Zayne’s windows are tinted, it would take someone looking over from a meter or so away to see the two of you, to see the way Zayne's hands are fisted in your hair, to see you arched over the middle console, to see how hard he was and hear the slick, wet noises you made around his cock.
You nearly yelp as Zayne pushes you off his lap, messily tucking himself back into his trousers before climbing out the door. It shuts with a bang and you’re about to scramble up when you hear the passenger door open and are roughly hauled out of the car and slung over Zayne’s shoulder.
You don’t even have time to scream. The next thing you know, you're being tossed on your back into the back seat, barely having time to right yourself before Zayne follows you, door slamming shut. He's pulling at your dress, bunching the fabric up and around your waist before dragging you under him.
“Did I not satisfy you thoroughly enough last time?” Zayne scolds between breaths, teeth scraping over your pulse point before he bites down. “Or perhaps what I should have realized is that you’re simply a filthy little girl who gets off on being punished?”
The sound you let out is obscene, a whiny moan that has Zayne groaning as he pulls away, his mouth slick and shiny with spit. He grinds his cock against your stomach, his hand coming around your throat and forcing you to face him.
It’s almost effortless, the way he holds you against him, folding your thighs to your chest as he bends to avoid hitting the roof of his car. His cock is still rock hard and pressed against the back of your thighs, only the thin slip of your dress shielding you from his greedy eyes.
"Zayne- fuck, we're gonna be late." You choke out, a gasp following as his hips grind into yours.
“Answer the question.”
Another bite to the plush above your breast and you cry, fearing more for the possibility that he leaves a permanent mark more than anything else. As if hearing that, Zayne bites again. Harder. 
“Yes!” You thrash, trying to kick him off you but there’s little room in the back seats and the leather sticks to your sweat-slick back as Zayne works to pin your hips. “Yes, I’m sorry. I only— I wanted to see how long you’d last.”
A laugh, short and cruel. “How long I’d last?” 
Zayne grabs your wrists and holds them over your head. He leans close, so his lips brush yours when he speaks, and the words are low and soft. Dangerous.
"Well, then. Allow me to return the favor.” Zayne lifts your leg, pressing a kiss to your calf as your foot hits the window, one heel falling off with a thud. “If memory serves me right, isn’t this a trope too?” 
It’s almost effortless, the way he lifts your hips all the way up, your legs kicking helplessly over his shoulders as they’re forced up against the roof of the car. Shifting his weight around in the tight space, Zayne coaxes your calves to cross behind his neck, giving a small grunt as his face is pressed into your inner thighs, one arm straining against the leather of the car seats. 
“Where they’re stuck in a small space, right?” Zayne’s eyes never leave yours.  “Maybe a cave,” his tongue trails up the bare skin of your quivering thigh, “Under a desk,” licking his way up, “in a car?”
He doesn’t give you a chance to answer, not when the heat of his mouth presses directly onto your clothed clit, licking over the lace of your panties as you arch off the leather seats.
You’re already a dripping mess, writhing against the leather of the seats and the hard muscle of Zayne's shoulders, the sensation of his hot tongue pushing against your clit through the lace a painful sort of pleasure. Not enough. Not nearly enough.
Zayne pulls off and stares at the string of his spit and your arousal, warm and sticky, against the soaked patch of cotton between your legs connecting to his lips. Involuntarily, he bucks into the cold emptiness underneath you.
Fuck, he’s so hard he might come from this alone.
You hardly notice, not with the way every muscle and nerve quivers and begs for release, jaw falling slack as Zayne’s lips are quick to tease you again, this time pressing his tongue flat against the crotch of your panties and laving across the entire seam. The gorgeous arch of his nose presses up into your clit, and you moan, one hand flailing backways as it slides against the fogged-up window. 
"Zayne, fucking hell, just eat me out properly!" The curses tumble out of your mouth before you can think of the repercussions, but there was no way he could keep eating you out through the material, no matter how good it felt.
"So desperate." Zayne mumbles between open-mouthed kisses to your cunt, "So needy."
"Fuck- please," You draw one hand through his hair, pulling his face closer. "Please, please, please-"
"Poor thing. I suppose it would be against my oath to leave my patient in such pain." And he roughly presses his thumb up against the hood of your clit.
You sob, hands scrambling for something- anything- to hold on to as they slip down the window and dig into the leather of the seats. But Zayne was nothing if not observant from your last night together, and it doesn't take long for you to cum as soon as his mouth latches onto your poor neglected cunt through your panties. 
Still riding out each trembling wave of your orgasm, Zayne doesn’t fight the way your thighs clench around his head, kissing you through it until he readjusts your legs against his shoulders, forcing you higher onto your upper back. His fingers toy with the edge of the fabric, pleased with the way it sticks to your skin. 
All you can focus on is his breathing, heavy and fast, as he stares down at your cunt so intensely it makes you blush, helplessly exposed with your thighs pinned across his broad shoulders. Spread for him like every inch of the offering he intended on devouring you as. His goddess, his sacrificial lamb. Gods, he wants to know how every part of you tastes.
Zayne’s cock twitches again, and he shudders violently, a fat glob of precum falling onto the leather seats below, mixing with your slick that has already slid down his chin and your thighs.
If left alone, no doubt it’ll stain. 
“Look at the mess you made.” Zayne scolds, forcing your jaw to the side so you can see the puddle staining the seats. You whimper, and Zayne shakes his head.  “Well, we can’t just leave it. I suppose I’ll have to teach you to take responsibility for your actions.” 
Your hips jump. It's so hard to focus when he's talking like that, and the only coherent thought you can muster is that Zayne would be a fantastic writer if he ever decided to switch professions.
But he begins to shift you around, and your brows furrow as Zayne’s hand dips between the two of you, down to the leather, sweeping across the splattered mix of cum with two fingers before forcing your jaw towards him again. 
“Clean up your mess.” 
You think something is permanently fucked in your brain with the way your cunt flutters at that. 
Zayne’s unyielding face stares down at you, his dripping fingers pressed against your lips as you wrap around them and suck. It’s heady, the scent of sex overwhelming as Zayne practically fucks the digits into your mouth, sliding them against your tongue until you gag, thumb tracing loving circles against your bottom lip as though coaxing you to take them deeper. 
Only after gagging twice more does Zayne take mercy on you, withdrawing his fingers from your mouth. Instead, the pads of his fingers press against your tongue, and you take the hint, beginning to suck at them until the taste of you disappears. 
His fingers slip from your mouth, a trail of spit connecting his fingers and your mouth before Zayne breaks it. Your tongue flicks out to swipe at the excess drool, and he wipes your bottom lip. 
“Good girl, tasting just how desperate you are.” Every word of praise Zayne whispers goes straight to your cunt, nearly making you dizzy until he finally sits back. 
“And now…” he finally moves to push the ruined fabric to the side, “I get to taste, too.”
The feeling of his hot tongue directly on your slit nearly has you in tears, and your hand lurches into Zayne’s hair to force him closer. 
“No pulling. Behave,” Zayne warns. “This is still meant to be discipline for your earlier stunt on the road.”
Whimpering, you nod, parted lips swollen and shiny from the abuse Zayne put them under with his fingers. Satisfied, Zayne finally gives you what you need, kissing the swollen flesh of your clit directly before curling two fingers into your aching cunt. 
“Zayne-”
He’s addicted to the way you say his name. He’s addicted, and he’s going to come in his pants if you don’t stop. 
You begin begging again before Zayne covers your mouth with the palm of his hand, muffled cries still enough to drive him insane as he focuses on getting you past that high. 
Despite his threats, you can’t help but tug at Zayne’s hair, needing him against you as your hips began moving or their own accord, bucking and grinding senselessly against his face until you were practically riding his tongue. Chest heaving, you looked up to see him staring directly at you, silhouetted from the car window, green eyes nearly aglow with wretched desire.
Just like that, you’re coming, hard, thighs clenching down around Zayne’s head until he’s certain you’re trying to kill him. But gods, he never wants you to stop.
Addicted, Zayne presses open mouthed kisses to your cunt, swallowing everything you give him as his eyes roll back.
Desperate, you try to crawl away from him, but there’s nowhere to go. Your head hits the car door before Zayne drags you right back, forcing your hips up higher as your back is arched into the air, nearly perpendicular as you sob, legs kicking over his shoulders. 
But still, Zayne continues, and he knows. He feels it the moment your thighs lock up, the way your stomach goes tight and the way your senseless pleading still muffled by his palm reaches a higher pitch. And he takes advantage, not letting up as he curls his fingers until your cunt clenches down on his digits and tongue, squirting into his mouth.  
Almost in apology, Zayne finally withdraws his fingers as he opts to instead clean you directly with his tongue, nose accidentally overstimulating your swollen clit as you weakly fight to push his head away.
Zayne takes the hint this time, lowering your sore legs onto the seats below, finally set on a solid surface after being held in the air for so long. The slit of your dress is askew across your stomach instead of thigh, and Zayne gently tugs it back into place.
Leaning down, he picks up your forgotten heel before slipping it back into your foot, buckling it as you shiver every time his fingers brush your ankle. 
When Zayne finally faces you again, the lower half of his face is a complete mess, and you should be mortified never having squirted before let alone on your mentor’s face. 
But Zayne merely wipes the back of his hand across his mouth, smiling like the slick dripping down his chin was won in victory and not debauchery. “Well then, shall we?”
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reidmania · 2 months
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I MISS YOU IM SORRY | spencer reid
good riddance x spencer reid one shot series masterlist!!
summary; Spencer calls after being broken up for a month.
warnings ; fem reader, hopeful/happy ending, angst, exes to lovers, mentions of arguments, breakups, miscommunication, avoidant reader, loving spencer, break up bc reader pushed him away bc of self doubt, pretty tame. i love this i think
an ; RAHH fic twoooooo ehehehe. risk is coming soon i just had to pump out the angst really quick ok bare w me!!
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You said, "Forever, " in the end I fought it Please be honest, are we better for it? Thought you'd hate me, but instead you called And said, "I miss you", I caught it. You said, "Forever, " and I almost bought it I miss fightin' in your old apartment. Breakin' dishes when you're disappointed. I still love you, I promise. Nothin' happened in the way I wanted. Every corner of this house is haunted And I know you said that we're not talkin' But I miss you, I'm sorry
The call came as a shock. When you were holding onto the doors of your pantry, leaning back slightly as your eyes skimmed over the contents of it — Which was not a lot. You we’re thinking about that fact you needed to go grocery shopping.
How long could you avoid that?
It started right after you and Spencer broke up, where you refused to go because of the chance that you might see Spencer there. It was right between yours and his apartment so the chances weren’t completely low — and normally you and Spencer did the grocery shopping together.
It would normally consist of you dancing around the store picking up random things and Spencer watching you fondly as he pushed the cart. He would mutter something about what was healthiest and you would hum approvingly then grab the opposite of whatever he suggest because it ‘tasted better’ He would chuckle and press his lips to the top of your head.
You wanted to relive that so bad that the idea of being inside the shops without him seemed so wrong. It felt like doing something behind his back. Like watching an episode of the show you two were watching together without him. It just felt wrong.
So you decided you would go to a different shop, an hour drive away. Just to be safe, but who just had time for that?
Which was how your pantry had gotten near empty.
You still had the big bag of his coffee beans that he left here. The ones you weren’t a fan of buy it didn’t matter because Spencer would compromise and just buy both, or just yours. You had use all of yours and started using the ones he left here.
They left a bitter taste on your tongue and a sweet sensation down the back of your throat, they were strong and kept you awake for hours longer than your normal ones did — but weirdly enough; they felt like home.
The bag was brand-less, and you should’ve memorised what it was you were sure you knew. You just couldn’t remember.
How were you suppose to ask? Call him? Message him? Pop by his house and ask. You were sure if he got any soft of contact from you— about anything, you would be blocked in milliseconds. The feeling that thought provided made your stomach tighten more than you’d like to admit.
You almost stumbled over your own feet when you closed the pantry as your phone started to ring, you saw it light up with a contact but your mind paid little attention as you answered, not even actually looking at your phone, your attention elsewhere.
“Hello?” You muttered as you walked towards the coffee machine you and Spencer had decided to get as an anniversary present. To fuel both your coffee addictions. You shoulder held your phone against your ear as you grabbed the bag of coffee beans — Spencers coffee beans.
You heard a harsh breath on the other side of the phone, “Hey.” The voice. His voice. Tired and groggy as if he had just woken up but you knew him well enough to know he didn’t. You pulled your phone away from your ear as your mind clouded foggy. Your eyes danced over his contact for a moment. He was calling you — He called you. it sent familiar butterflies to your ribcage.
“Spencer?” You exhaled, despite already knowing it was him. You wondered if maybe this was some prank, if he was just calling because he needed something or maybe to call you and degrade you over every mistake you made in the ending of your relationship — you deserved that.
He had every right to hate you for how things ended, he had every right to hate you, period. You had assumed that was how he felt towards you. Hatred. You knew he loved you throughout your relationship, that wasn’t something you had to question but the idea of that still being the case after everything unfolded the way it did.. It didn’t even seem fathomable.
“Hi” He repeated. His voice was low and quiet, you didn’t know what that meant and it was driving you insane. Your feet pattered around the house suddenly feeling cold in the kitchen. Nothing but memories fogging your mind every corner you looked — that didn’t go away as you moved around the house. It was filled by him and it was consuming you whole. 
You let out a heavy breath. “Do you need something?” It didn’t come out how you wanted it to. It wasn’t harsh or anything but your voice weakened half way through your words making embarrassment creep up the back of your neck.
The other side of the phone was silent for a minute, making anxiety pool in your stomach. Your head tilted as you sat on the corner of the couch, wrapping yourself in the blanket on the couch — the one you used more often than you’d like to admit, since some night sleeping in the bed that was suppose to be shared with Spencer felt all too consuming, the way his scent lingered faintly over the sheets and his little nothings covered the window sill, his jacket still hung up in the closet.
“Spence are you okay?” The nickname fell from your lips before you could try to stop it. You heard a muffled sound on the other end of the phone making your stomach twist. Slight worry and confusion filled the wrinkles by your eyes as you squinted slightly.
“Ye- Im.. Im okay” He breathed out his voice heavy and filled with something you couldn’t place if you tried. You were sure it was an emotion you had felt since you felt a sick feeling of familiarity in your abdomen. “I just- Can we talk?” He asked.
Your eyebrows furrowed as your knees pulled to your chest. “Okay. What do you want to talk about?” You asked, in your mind there was a point to this conversation, there was something specific he needed to talk to you about or why else would he call. He wouldn’t, you thought.
“No-Not like that, i just- I just want to talk to you, about anything. Whatever you want I just—” There was a pause, his voice got quiet, almost a whisper, “I miss you.” The words that left his lips buried themselves deep inside your chest, building themselves a home there.
Your head span. He said it so quietly you were scared you might’ve missed it if he said it any quieter. But you didn’t, you caught it. A deep breath left your chest as your hand came to your forehead, your mind was so focused on the fact that, he missed you. He called because he missed you. You almost forgot to answer him. You figured if he said the comment so quietly, maybe he didn’t want a reply on it, so you continued on with the conversation as the words interfered with the rhythmic beating of your heart.
“What coffee beans to do you buy?” You settled on. You heard him chuckle on the other side of the phone before passing a comment asking ‘why? You hated them’ It made your heart flutter uncomfortablely. The two of you continued talking about coffee beans for ten minutes before he muttered about how he had to go, you knew it was probably work related. But god he sounded so sad saying it.
“Spencer?” You asked softly, your voice coming out quieter than what you expected. You heard his soft hum on the other side of the phone. You didn’t want to admit how much you missed him, how your entire being craved him every minute of everyday regardless of what you did — nothing in the world could fill the him-shaped- hole that took up the space of your gut.
“I’m sorry” You apologised and you hoped it was clear you were apologising for everything, for the arguments, for the breakup, for pushing him away for no real good reason beside your own self doubt. It was the sorry you were too proud to mutter out a month ago.
There was a moment on the other side of the phone where you were almost convinced he was going to hang up — you worried you brought up what he didn’t want to talk about.
But instead, “I miss you.” He said louder this time, as if he believed you didn’t hear it the first time. The words made your stomach clench tightly and your muscles both tighten and relax at the same time.
You sigh, you should have shut up. He had to go, you know that but the words came out honestly as “I still love you” You said. You wanted to slap yourself in the face, now you really weren’t gonna be surprised if he hung up and blocked you.
There was a heavy breath, you couldn’t tell if it was good or bad. “Well-“ He huffed, “If you still love me, and- I still love you..” He muttered out intentionally, hoping you caught on to what he was insinuating. Your mind however was captivated by the fact that, he still loved you.
“We should probably talk” He finished when you didn’t, “Please?” It was thrown in there both to use manners and to show how badly he wanted this. You weren’t ever gonna say no in the first place.
“We should. Do you need to go grocery shopping?” You asked, your teeth sinking into your bottom lip as you almost smiled. You could almost imagine his confusion.
“Um— I guess that depends —Do you?” He asked. You huffed out a small laugh, nodding your head absentmindedly as you realised he couldn’t see you. “Do you still go to-“
He cut you off, “No. No i started going to the one across town, about an hour away” He said, honestly. You head tilted slightly as you realised he started going to the one you were going to. The conversation continued as you both ignored — or forgot the fact he needed to go.
“Why?”
“So you didn’t feel uncomfortable if I was there when you were” He said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. It made your stomach scrunch up and your chest to bruise your ribcage as the beating of your heart only increased.
“Let’s go grocery shopping, at our shop. Then um— you can come here and I can make you coffee?” You suggested slightly awkwardly, as you worried about the chance of rejection and the embarrassment you would feel.
“It’s a date.” He smiled, you could hear it in his voice.
“Okay.” You exhaled out.
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ohisms · 9 months
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↪     𝑺𝑬𝑻𝑻𝑰𝑵𝑮 𝑷𝑹𝑶𝑴𝑷𝑻𝑺 , updated .     (  a  collection  of  various  settings  meant  to  inspire  drabbles  or  be  used  as  prompts .   )
001.   the seaside ,  as the sun is setting .
002.   a cabin in the middle of the woods .
003.   a picket-fenced home in the suburbs .
004.   a dark bus stop lit only by street lights .
005.   a private jet miles high in the sky .
006.   a funhouse’s room of mirrors .
007.   an office building ,  bustling and busy .
008.   the back row of an empty movie theater .
009.   a run - down motel room .
010.   a loud house party on a suburban street .
011.   a university lecture hall during a class .
012.   the rooftop of a very tall building .
013.   a great ballroom during an elegant party .
014.   the back of a wailing ambulance .
015.   the wine cellar of a large mansion .
016.   behind the school’s gymnasium .
017.   a boisterous bonfire at the lakeside .
018.   an otherwise empty parking lot .
019.   the shady bar of a noisy , dark club .
020.  the grounds of an empty summer camp .
021.   a large hedge maze ,  easy to get lost in .
022.   a neglected or derelict treehouse .
023.   a spacious ,  light-filled meadow .
024.   an underground illegal fighting club .
025.   an abandoned scrapyard .
026.   a large penthouse overlooking the city .
027.    an apple orchard in the middle of spring .
028.   an empty playground with squeaky swings .
029.   an extravagant greenhouse .
030.   the base of a large waterfall .
031.    a spacious walk - in closet full of lovely clothes .
032.   a solemnly quiet hospital room .
033.   the dark depths of an abandoned mine .
034.   the deck of a fishing boat at night .
035.   the thick crowd of an audience at a show .
036.   a long ,  winding road .
037.   the scene of a violent crime .
038.   a fork in a hiking trail deep in the wilderness .
039.   a cramped dressing room .
040.   a dusty antiques shop full of relics .
041.   the street of an unfamiliar city at night .
042.   between the tall shelves of a thrifted book shop .
043.   a building abandoned during construction .
044.   a house without power or running water .
045.   a mysterious trail found in the woods .
046.   the back of a taxi stuck in traffic .
047.    the inside of an elevator that won’t move .
048.   fairgrounds during a large event  (or after hours) .
049.   a garden bountiful with flowers or produce .
050.   a childhood home or bedroom .
+   30  more  setting  prompts :    1 / 3 / 2024
051. the site of a horrible accident .
052. a closed pool , after everyone has left .
053. a home holding horrific memories .
054. by the side of a dangerously quick river .
055. a private hotel room .
056. a police station in the middle of the night .
057. a ferris wheel carriage under a sky of fireworks .
058. a lavish , invite - only party .
059. a public transit stop as rain is pouring down .
060. the back of a taxi going in the wrong direction .
061. the underworld .
062. a dusty , forgotten attic .
063. on the set of a television show or movie .
064. a lighthouse overlooking the raging sea .
065. in a post - apocalyptic bunker .
066. on a ship hundreds of miles from the nearest coast .
067. on the rooftop of a perilously tall building .
068. a tent pitched in the middle of the woods .
069. a crowded stadium during a football game .
070. the morgue during an identification .
071. an otherwise empty library during a late study session .
072. a place that feels familiar , yet you've never been here before .
073. a long hallway that seems to stretch on forever .
074. a signpost at the start of a hiking trail .
075. a bar or tavern bustling with life .
076. the dance floor of a masquerade ball .
077. inside of a car parked in a secluded area .
078. at the edge of a cliff overlooking a large lake .
079. inside a very old house with very old haunts .
080. the antiseptic interior of a space station .
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tiredfox64 · 4 months
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Hello! How you doing? I hope you're having a great day :D
I have a small request based on a funny picture I saw on twitter, where reader asks their crush/lover "Do you like sleeping?" and they're like "...yes?" then reader says "Wow, me too... We should try it together sometime"
I just can't choose which mk1 character, since I love all of them lmao. So I'll leave that up to you! Can be with anyone, sfw or not! your pick :p
Nap Time?
Yip notes: Hello! I’m doing alright, hope you are doing lovely (^∇^). This seems like such a fun idea. And you are letting me pick! Got me squealing.
Pairings: Tomas, Havik, Rain, Reiko x Afab reader
Warnings ‼️:NSFW, choking, biting, overstimulation (a bit), many positions
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Tomas
Why would you ever trust Johnny to give you good advice? Trusting Johnny is a gamble, especially when you ask him for dating advice.
You were unsure of how to flirt with someone so you had to ask Johnny for help. And the help he gave you…was in the form of memes from Instagram and Twitter. He swore to you up and down that this would work on Tomas. You believed him, just like that?
So you tried it out. It might kill you to try to flirt but at least you made an effort to do so. You were a little nervous as you approached Tomas who was supervising the initiates. Immediately when he saw you he broke out into a smile. Your heart was going crazy from just looking at him. You didn’t realize the loving look in his eyes every time he stared at you. You two had a casual conversation for a bit, just the usual. You took a deep breath and tried remembering which pickup line you would use on Tomas. Something that will capture his attention but won’t be too forward.
“So…uh…do you like sleeping?” you asked.
He looked at you, his eyebrow cocked up in confusion, “…yes?”
“Wow, me too…we should try it together sometime.”
That was too forward girl! I thought you would be better than me.
You put your head down in shame before quickly walking off. A walk of shame if you will. That meant however that you missed Tomas’ reaction to your flirting. It was super effective! He knew what you meant because Johnny told him before. Thanks, Johnny. He went from his usual pale self to a shade of pink that only a rose could replicate. You’re just gonna leave him like that? All flustered like you didn’t just ask him to sleep with you. He didn’t know you felt that way about him.
You left him in an uncomfortable position. He couldn’t go find you because he had to supervise the initiates. But he was also trying to keep his composure and not think too much about being in bed with you. He can’t think about how his hands would be all over you, feeling your soft skin as his body is pressed against yours. Ah, too late he’s hard just from that. Pathetic. Better hide that.
The moment the initiates were done training he went looking for you. You were in your room, groaning into your pillows from the embarrassment you still were feeling. You thought this memory would haunt you forever. Oh how wrong you were.
Tomas was knocking on your door, still trying his best to keep his composure. You got up and opened the door. Before you could try to apologize for what you said he asked you something.
“Were you being serious? Please tell me you were being serious.” He said in desperation.
You were shocked. The pickup line worked? And he wanted you to be serious? Alright, ain’t you a winner.
You nodded your head and that’s all Tomas needed. He pushed his way into your room and only then did you notice his boner. It’s really hard to hide it with the uniform he has on. Well, go on, fix it. You started the war you better finish it. Get in bed! Scratch that, he will carry you to bed.
══💤══╡°˖✧🦊✧˖°╞══💤══
Your groans of embarrassment soon became groans of pleasure. And pants. And moans. And whimpers. Everything actually.
The pickup line sure did work. It got Tomas into bed with you, naked and desperate to pleasure himself with your body. You heard him groan and whimper every time he thrusted into you. He had you on your side with his chest pressed against your back and his hand on your thigh. He held your right leg up to have easier access to your pussy. His other arm was wrapped around your neck. He wasn’t choking you but holding you in place. He could choke you if that’s what you want.
You had no idea how long you guys were at it. It was like one second he was carrying you to your bed, the next he was ripping your clothes off, and now he had his dick inside of you. The dick must be good considering you were drooling in seconds and could only focus on how much he was stretching you out.
Don’t count yourself short because Tomas is just as dazed as you. Your pussy was as warm and tight as he imagined. When he first slid his cock in he let out a satisfied sigh, like he was relieved to feel your pussy squeezing him. The passion he was putting into each thrust was phenomenal. It’s like he was trying to fuck his love into you. That love sure was hitting your g-spot and making your moans go up a pitch. Soon your leg was shaking and you were telling him not to stop. He wasn’t planning on it. Tomas was as close as you were.
That pleasure was becoming greater and you both couldn’t handle it. One more deep thrust into you and you both were finished. You heard Tomas let out whimpers and moans as he came inside you. He was still thrusting a little which pushed the cum further into you. You would have been moaning as well if it weren’t for the fact that Tomas started choking you with his arm. You were not complaining. The lack of oxygen with your orgasm was the best feeling you have ever had. You could have sworn that the heavens opened and you were looking at the angels who looked down at you and asked ‘Is he gonna put a ring on it?’ Tomas better put a ring on it because you don’t ever want him leaving your side. Neither does he.
Tomas finally let you breathe once he realized he was choking you which you thanked him for doing. Like the gentleman he is he checked and asked if he hurt you anywhere. You told him to not worry and that you were fine. Once that was over he pulled you close to him and gave you kisses all over your face. He could stay here for hours with you so he could cuddle and kiss you. That lovemaking session sure did a number on you guys. It tired you out that you were soon falling asleep in his arms.
Looks like you slept with Tomas in both ways.
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Havik
You’re trying to flirt with Havik? Right…how well do you think that will go for you?
Havik is not an idiot but some things go flying over his head. Using unfamiliar terms might not hit the mark. You have to be blunt essentially. But it’s hard to be blunt about wanting Havik to be your partner and asking to have sex with him. Whoever could do that is a maniac or just extremely bold. That’s not you. So the best you could do is flirt and hope it hits the mark.
You approached him as he was in the middle of looking at weapons. That mace is looking really nice to him. Whatever, you’re there now and you seem to be asking for his attention. Not literally, you were actually staring up at him until he noticed your presence.
“What?” He asked.
“I have a question for you.” You replied in a shy tone.
He fully turned his attention towards you, curious as to what you had to say considering you never got this shy before.
“So…uh…do you like sleeping?”
“…yes, why do you ask?” Don’t fuck with him. Havik has no clue what you are getting at.
“Wow, me too…we should try it together sometime.”
There was a silence that followed. A long, uncomfortable silence followed as he stared at you. His head tilted to the side a little to indicate his confusion. This might have been a failure on your part. What were you thinking? You turned around to walk away only to be grabbed by the back of your shirt by Havik. He pulled you back and held you up by your shirt. You can’t walk away after saying something so confusing to him.
“What does that even mean?” Havik interrogated you.
You didn’t want to answer him. This situation was already incredibly embarrassing for you and it doesn’t help that he wanted you to explain it to him. You begged him to forget what you said and put you down already. Havik was not gonna listen, even you knew that. He wouldn’t let you down until you told him what you meant. In a moment of chaos and stress you blurted out the truth.
“I want to have sex with you!”
I mean I would have lied but good on you for being truthful.
There was silence once more. You watched as Havik squinted his eyes. You were unsure of what he was doing until you heard him let out a dark chuckle. If his face weren’t mutilated you would be able to see that he was smiling. But since he has a permanent smile on his face it probably works out.
“Why didn’t you say so? We could do that right now.” He said with pure delight. Get to it!
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You knew Havik was a freak but you didn’t expect him to be this freaky. Who would have thought that the first position he would pick to do you in was the mating press.
Eight inches slamming into you, damn! Of course, he was going rough. He pushed your legs back as far as they could go so he could go as deep as he could. You were already crying and panting in the first few minutes. He made sure you kept looking up at him. He wanted to see every expression you made and watch every tear slip down your face. Watching your eyes roll back every time he slammed into your g-spot made him want to devour you even more.
Havik was beyond reason. His mind was only on one thing and that was fucking your pussy. You had to stay exactly how he wanted to. Every time you tried to look away from him he grabbed your face and forced you to look at him again. He wouldn’t let go until he got a nice reaction out of you.
“Aww, what a pretty face. I wonder what face you will make when I do this?”
You felt his hand wrap around your throat. Your eyes widened as you stared up at him. The excitement in his eyes was apparent. He squeezed tighter and went rougher. With the position you were in combined with everything else he was doing; it was no shock that you ended up cumming. Strained moans left your mouth as your eyes rolled back. Drool and tears were slipping down your face. Your hands could not take Havik’s hand away from your throat. You were forced to cum on his cock as he choked the life out of you. Sounds started to grow duller but the orgasm you felt was heightened. Every stroke was felt, his dick was hitting every spot down there. You could not ignore the painful pleasure you felt. And when it seemed like you were about to pass out, he let go.
You were trying to catch your breath but it was difficult since he was still fucking you. You were catching your breath in between moans and pants that were hoarse from being choked. Luckily for you, he was close. One, two, three more thrusts and he was golden. He slammed so hard and deep inside you that you could have sworn that he hit your cervix. Havik let out this loud groan that seemed to drag out. His tongue stuck out, causing some of his saliva to drip down onto you. Oh, he was satisfied alright.
Once his little moment of nature’s pleasure was over he pulled out and immediately collapsed onto you. He wrapped his arms around your waist. Tonight, you will be his pillow. You have no choice he is too big to move. Plus he wants to stay in this position with you. You are his girlfriend now. You both had sex that’s how it goes, at least in his head that’s how it works. You heard him lightly snore away. You were happy with the outcome of your pickup line. It worked incredibly well. You slowly started to fall asleep as you held Havik in your arms.
Be careful he drools in his sleep. Wait, never mind, he’s chewing on your titty in his sleep. That’s a bigger issue. At least he does it lightly.
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Rain
Ah, going after the high mage himself. It’s an interesting choice to pick a man who might have never felt the touch of a woman other than his mother.
If only you had his confidence you could be better when it comes to flirting with him. Hiding behind a pillar and watching him do magic does not count as flirting. You can talk to Rain but if you try to suggest something or flirt you freeze up. He’ll ask you if you’re alright, you’ll lie and say you’re fine before walking off, and the cycle repeats.
But maybe this time will be different. When the tournament was going on you heard in the background one of the Earthrealmers, probably Johnny, using a certain pickup line on Kitana. It seemed to work since it got a laugh out of her. So it has to work for you, right? You could only hope that this man will get it.
The next time you saw him you ran up to him with a smile on your face. Rain was delighted to see you again. You always manage to make him feel warm on the inside. You get him thinking about you instead of his studies or his duties. You’ll most likely do the same right now. The conversation is going well and you’ve made him smile. Go in for the kill!
“So…uh…do you like sleeping?” you asked awkwardly.
His eyebrows furrowed in confusion, “…yes? I would imagine everyone does.”
“Wow, me too…we should try it together sometime.”
The silence was loud.
“You have your own bed, why would you need to sleep together?”
For a smartass he sure can be a dumbass.
You were beyond crushed. Just like usual you froze up. You didn’t give Rain a chance to ask if you were okay, you walked off quickly. You left him standing there, confused and unsure if he did anything wrong.
The rest of the day went on. You stayed hidden in your room after that embarrassing fail. Rain consulted with Mileena and Kitana about what just happened. He went on and on about how he didn’t understand what you meant. He was confused about why you wanted to sleep in his bed. When Kitana asked exactly what you said Rain relayed the pickup line. In a matter of seconds, Kitana and Mileena’s faces changed. They knew what you meant. Rain saw the look they were giving him and asked what was wrong now.
“Rain,” Kitana started, “She was flirting with you.”
“She was asking to sleep with you. You know…” Mileena made the gesture with her fingers that indicated what she meant.
Computing…computing…loading…load-SEX! YOU MEANT SEX!
“By Argus, why didn’t she just say that!?” Because that’s not casual, Rain.
Rain booked it out of there, almost forgetting his water staff in the process. He was at your door in minutes. He kept banging on it with little regard for his hand. You groaned as you picked your head up from your bed. You quickly opened the door thinking there was an emergency.
“Be more direct next time.” Rain said as he pushed his way into your bedroom.
Shall we begin the party?
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He can be an idiot at times he will admit that. Let him make it up by taking care of you.
You were facing Rain as he had you on his lap. He thrusted into you mindlessly while his mouth was occupied with your nipple. Everything about you was soft to him. He couldn’t get enough of your skin. His hands wandered all over before wrapping his arms around your waist. Occasionally his hands would move down just to get a handful of your ass. It’s too tempting how could he not squeeze it.
Your breasts were doing wonders for this man. The moment he saw them he pulled you in so he could shove his face in between them. He looked so peaceful as he sucked on your nipple. Your breasts have become his new happy place. Your fingers ran through his hair which made this more pleasurable for him. He doesn’t want this to end.
You sure were enjoying yourself. With the position you were in you were sitting right on seven inches. Seven inches that was going in and out of you at a steady rhythm. Don’t forget the fact that your clit was being rubbed every time he thrusted into you. Hell even when he took a breather and you would start grinding, your clit was getting the attention it needed. You were in a drunken daze, whimpering and pants with each thrust. It felt like his cock was reaching into your stomach. Every time he hit your g-spot you would twitch and bring his face closer to your breasts. You’re suffocating the poor man but he loves it.
Why Rain is so good at this is a mystery. A mystery you don’t care to solve you are happy with living in this cock drunken state.
This party must come to an end. You both had your fun and you couldn’t hold back your orgasm. You felt Rain’s cock twitch inside you, letting you know he was close. You made him look up at you. You saw how his eyes twinkled when he stared up at you. That look encouraged you to start kissing him passionately as the orgasm hit you both. Hot strings of cum shot into you as your pussy clenched around his cock. Both your moans were being muffled by the kiss luckily.
He held you in his arms for a while as your both caught your breath. You got off his lap and immediately collapsed onto your bed. Rain quickly came to your side and brought you in close. He had your head resting on his chest, allowing you to listen to his heartbeat. His heart was beating for you.  
What a romantic evening.  
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Reiko
Going after a man who only knows war? You’re just brave at this point.
This has to be easy, right? Not many ladies are brave enough to ask out any Outworld soldier, let alone the lieutenant himself. The girls who were brave enough to ask Reiko out were either turned down or he didn’t understand what they were doing. The fact is there are no other ladies trying to go after your man. They see it as a losing game while you see it as a challenge.
You spotted him out on the training grounds with other soldiers. You ran nearby and watching from a distance as he took down his fellow soldiers. Once Reiko noticed that you were there you waved him over. He told everyone to take a quick break as he walked over to you. Once he was right in front of you he questioned why you were around and why you seemed to be waiting for him. You told him you had a question for him.
“So…uh…do you like sleeping?” you said with some confidence.
“…yes? Sleep is important to a man like me.”
“Wow, me too…we should try it sometimes.” You finished with less confidence.
“You don’t want to sleep with me.”
“Oh…” You were quiet for a bit before deciding to walk off.
His skull is too thick I fear.
Reiko stared at you before turning around. His soldiers looked at him like he was crazy. He asked them what they were looking at. They started yelling at him that he fumbled so hard. They asked if he really didn’t want to have sex with a pretty lady like you. They said Reiko was so lucky to be flirted with by you.
“Sex? She didn’t ask to have sex with me. She asked to sleep with me.” He replied.
“It’s the same thing!” They yelled back in unison.
“That’s just stupid! If she just said sex I would have said yes!” Too late, idiot!
Reiko was upset by everyone and everything. He decided to visit you once he was done training with the other soldiers. He found your home and like the weird brute he is, he climbed up to your window. You heard tapping at your window as you were getting ready for bed. You were surprised to see Reiko at your windowsill. You opened the window immediately to let him in.
“Is it really that difficult to ask for sex?” For a man like him, probably not.
You don’t need to do much to get Reiko started, your nightgown was doing the work for you.
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Oo look how strong Reiko is. Holding you up as he fucks you against the wall, show off.
He needed to show you how much of a man he was. He’s an idiot, not a heathen who doesn’t need sex. Everyone needs a little bit of fun.
His lips were attacking your lips in a rough kiss as his body pinned your body against your bedroom wall. He held onto your legs and kept them wide open as he thrusted into you. His thrusts were angled a little to allow him to rub against your clit. When it comes to sex, Reiko gives it his all. He never wants to lack. So he’s gonna make sure this will be a night you remember.
You sure will remember. Your pussy will definitely remember and crave his cock again. You will remember how its curved shape was a glorious feeling. Combined with his thick size you won’t be needing any other man. He stretched you out that the pain was pleasurable.
Reiko is a rough lover in general so his thrusts were just as rough. All you can hear is the sound of skin slapping, wet sounds, and heavy breathing. You felt his teeth lightly biting down on your lower lip. He didn’t want to ruin your perfect lip so he moved down to your neck. His teeth sank into your soft skin, littering it with marks. Bite marks were appearing all over your neck and shoulders. Each time he marked you his tongue would run over the mark he just made.
“You’re going to look so pretty when I’m done with you. Can’t wait to see everyone’s reactions when they see that you’re my lady now.” He is such a cocky bastard.
You were loopy but were on cloud nine. The pain and pleasure were a devious combination. It’s a high. A high you could only get from Reiko. He is your drug that leaves evidence of his effects on you.
Highs have to end eventually. You started panting fast as you got closer to cumming. Reiko watched your face as he went faster. Your head went back against the wall while your eyes began to shut tight. Your lovely moans came flowing out of your mouth and into Reiko’s ears. He thought the only noise he ever liked was the sound of his enemies dying. But it seems like you’ve proven him wrong.
Your body went somewhat limp but he still held you up. He’s not done yet. He was still pounding away, feeling how your pussy grew wetting to the point it was dripping. He made you stare up at him as he kept fucking you. He wanted to watch you lose yourself more from this. The sight of your eyes growing wet from being overstimulated was delicious to him. It was enough to send him over the edge. You saw the satisfied smile on his face as his cum filled up your pussy. He was trying to shove it as deep as he could like he was trying to mark you even more.
He held you in his arms as he pulled out. His cum was dripping out of you and onto the floor. Whatever, you guys can clean it up in the morning. You both need rest after that rough session. He placed you lightly on the bed before getting in himself. He laid on his back with one arm behind his head and the other wrapped around your body. Reiko was a satisfied man. What would make him even more satisfied was if you asked to be his girlfriend. You need to be blunt when you ask that one.
Give this man a cigarette he is giving off that energy.
Yap notes: WOO DOGGY THAT WAS A LOT. Had to put my mind into it. Thank you for letting me pick I’m glad to do more of my favorite/ underrated men! It was enjoyable to write. Now I need a nap. Adiós!
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xo2dee · 4 months
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ᴊᴜᴊᴜᴛꜱᴜ ᴋᴀɪꜱᴇɴ ᴍᴀꜱᴛᴇʀʟɪꜱᴛ
ᴏɴᴇɪʀᴏᴅʏɴɪᴀ
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𓆩♡𓆪 ᴘᴀɪʀɪɴɢ: Nanami Kento x (Fem)Reader
𓆩♡𓆪 ᴡᴀʀɴɪɴɢꜱ: angst, hurt/comfort, spoilers for the shibuya incident arc, mentions of violence, descriptions of nanamis body injury, descriptions of gore, body insecurity, depictions of dealing with PTSD, mentions of pregnancy
𓆩♡𓆪 ᴡᴏʀᴅ ᴄᴏᴜɴᴛ: 8200
𓆩♡𓆪 ꜱᴜᴍᴍᴀʀʏ: He tried to hide it, but the haunting behind his closed eye spoke the most for him.
𓆩♡𓆪 ᴀ/ɴ: originally i wrote this for the guide (shameless plug go read) but this could be read as a stand-alone easily. just wanted to imagine if kento had actually been married and what could've happened if he survived shibuya. but mind the warnings!
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He could feel his world shrinking in on him, his throat closing in as claustrophobia suddenly overwhelmed him and confined him to a world of fear he never knew he could’ve felt. He tried to struggle, get himself free from its coiled vines, tried to open his eyes out of the darkness that was drowning him, heavy like the tons of water from the ocean washing over him, but he found he could not.
Something was wrong, and when he finally opened his eyes, he understood what it was.
It was completely dark; vision wrapped up in a coat of noir that he couldn’t break free from. On the right everything was still horribly vivid; however, the landscape of that day was forever compacted into his brain as he could trace out every line behind a closed eye to draw it up once more for a retelling, or perhaps in a way to continue to haunt himself. On the left there was nothing; a space free from sense, nothing but a hole filled with darkness reminiscent of nothingness and loneliness, something dire to his being and for his view on the world alone.
He couldn’t see out of his left eye.
Because he no longer had a left eye.
It was jarring at first, not even noticing for a moment that his eye had been plucked out by the fish from that Domain Expansion and he had remained still for the moment as he realized he couldn’t see out of it any longer, frozen in time wondering what happened to bring him to that point before the throbbing pain hit him all at once. He had gritted his teeth and bared it, completely throwing it to the side as he had to keep his attention focused on Megumi and Maki, as their lives mattered more in that moment despite all his injuries then. He had to stay focused, and perhaps he could do it right that time.
His body was burning with adrenaline, muscles bunched forward with tension and nerves lit up alive inside of his veins. He had never been in pain like he had been as of that moment, and he had never felt the need to fight much like he did then, and yet he had continued to stand, refusing to feel that uselessness that he had felt when he found Kiyotaka prone on the floor bleeding out from an injury. It brought back an old memory he thought back to every time he fought; a young boy laid out onto the ground missing the entire lower half of his body, the entire ground coated with blood as it dripped out onto the pavement while he carried him back to the school on his back.
It made him furious.
(It had stained his uniform, his shoes, his hands, pieces of his hair were caked in Yu’s blood, but he couldn’t find himself to even care. The dollops smacking onto the pavement were louder than his own thoughts; vacant and speaking so much for everything in spite of him remaining deathly silent and calm as he slowly walked back to the school heading for the Morgue.)
He refused to let anything like that happen again.
(He could feel the blood seeping out the vacant socket where his left eye had been, the same way it dribbled along out of Yu’s body and stained his clothes, much like how his blue button-up meshed into a violet color the more it was ruined.)
Despite his vision, he knew Megumi wasn’t anywhere in his presence, taken away from that mirrored image of his father and there was that underlining need to run after him, but his concern was lying elsewhere at the arrival of another curse that was more of a horrible threat than the one from before. Its head was bulbous and white, possessing only one eye like a cyclops, and he knew who it was as he shifted all concern to Maki for the moment.
He could see his hand, palm out and short, stubby fingers spread, and he realized his momentum was too fast for him to stop before he touched him. He remembered flexing his abdomen out of habit from the unwanted and foreign touch, and he remembered the way he had smiled up at him (cruel, wicked, evil, inhumane, murderous) before his world was suddenly brighter than it had ever been and bursting into a world of white-hot and orange damnation and he barely felt the burning sensation of Jogo’s cursed energy engulfing him.  
It was hothothothothothothot – it was too fucking hot. He couldn’t breathe for a moment (his throat was closing up again; airways constricted and lungs twisting and diminishing, he couldn’t breathe and everything fucking hurt), and he truly believed that he was going to die from suffocation in that moment if it wasn’t over as fast as it came.
He was numb for a few moments while it happened and after it happened, ears ringing from white noise and feeling like he wasn’t even in his body any longer and he was but a shell – a husk of what he used to be. Everything was stinging like needles pricking into every nerve and his body was still buzzing with adrenaline, but he felt numb. He knew what was happening, and despite it all he still stood back up; his legs still worked, he could swing his weapon, and that was all that mattered for the time being.
If he didn’t do anything he would feel useless as he did back then, he couldn’t stand to be a victim of his own incompetence any longer.
Yet, his right eye caught a glance of his left side when he lifted his left arm, and he paused as he looked down at what remained of the left side of his body.
Like the sun opposed to his moon from losing his left eye, the fire spread quickly over his body and melted away parts of his flesh on the left side of his body, leaving nothing but the exposed layer underneath his skin peeling away to blood already beginning to ooze out from the catastrophic wounds. He had lifted his left hand, staring at the remnants of what remained of his skin long gone before raising it higher to touch the empty socket where his left eye had sat.
He wasn’t sure if he was supposed to be feeling anything with his burnt flesh (it felt fake, yet smooth free of any blemishes, but also rough like it didn’t belong), but it was cold in spite of the scorching heat that had engulfed him. But more importantly, it was a dead fact that he wasn’t dreaming and everything that was happening in Shibuya was the reality he was living in.
Satoru was sealed.
Suguru had sealed him – No, not Suguru, he was dead. But someone was wearing his face.
So many people had already died… Civilians…
Regardless of his wounds stinging and stretching like he was peeling off various scabs making him hold back the hisses of pain, he continued onwards to fulfill what he made himself promise to do that moment he returned back to Jujutsu Sorcery and to never feel that worthlessness any longer. He was severely wounded, and he knew that he was on the brink of death, but it couldn’t matter at that moment.
He had to do something.
So, he walked forward, despite everything burning and aching, and despite feeling so tired and hollow inside in that moment, he continued on to do what he sought out.
If you don’t fight for something, you’ll fall for nothing.
He didn’t know how long it was before he came across the hoard of all the mutated humans, but the feeling of enervation was beginning to consume him. He had to take them on, however, it was what he was brought up to do, but even then with his need to carry on he had to stop but for a brief moment and think about what he truly wanted most in the world.
There was nothing more he wanted at that moment than the serenity of sitting along a beach shore with his feet covered in the sand that it brought, listening to the waves crash forward and feel the wind sing through his ears and breeze by his skin as he read all those books he had bought stashed along the bookcase in his bedroom on the beach. He could retire and rest there, he had enough money to do so and he could always just grow his own little vegetables and fruit if he had to. He could have a simple life there, quiet and in the grace of Mother Nature at her finest, and the more he envisioned it, the more it became a clear vision.
Build a small house on the beach, it didn’t have to be much, just enough to feel cozy and at home – domestic. He could see the figure in front of him walking along the shore barefoot, a short, white sundress coating their form as they dipped their toes in the water and seemingly danced along with the wind. It made him exceedingly happy to watch them, seeing them happy and at peace, safe and healthy, and he didn’t know why it did perhaps at that moment, but it was enough for him to sigh in contentment for the world he could envision.
Malaysia.
Kuantan, Malaysia.
(He was in so much pain.)
He almost nearly wanted to put his weapon down, just to lay down and finally rest as he was so tired, but his mind was fighting his body all at once, telling him there was more that he needed to do before so. That there was something holding him back from doing so, and he sighed as he fought through every memory he had for that pull.
Though he thought of Maki, Megumi, Naobito, hoping for their safety then, that wasn’t what was buzzing in the back of his mind. He thought of Yuji, wondering where he was for a brief second before he realized he must have been going after Megumi, and then understanding that it wasn’t him. He was flitting over each face in his mind that might’ve been in Shibuya and needed him (Nobara, Ino, Toge, Akari, Kiyotaka, Yaga, anyone that may have been in Shibuya), but coming up short, yet he ended up pausing before taking a swing at the mutated humans beginning to crowd him in.
(That figure on the beach with him in Malaysia, he knew that figure. He had etched every single inch of that figure’s skin into his mind, being able to trace lines like constellations in the sky every time he closed his eyes so that could map out everything about them and perfectly envision them in his dreams and memories. It was all black and white at first, then an upsurge of all the hues in the color spectrum that rushed over until you were brought to life like a page in a coloring book and standing in front of him on the shore of a beach in Malaysia living the rest of your lives together like he had dreamt of so many times unbeknownst to you.
That figure… it was you, his family.
His most beloved.)
Where… were you? Here? God, no, you couldn’t be.
No… you were at home.
He remembered it clearly; your eyes shining up at him and making that face he never wanted to see regardless, nearly looking like you wanted cry again when you had not cried in so long and he had sworn to himself he’d never be the reason you cried ever again. He got the call about Shibuya, but you did not; bedridden over an illness you seemed to have picked up and had just gotten home from the doctor over it. You weren’t supposed to be going out anywhere, and he didn’t want you going anywhere if you were sick as was, your health was more important than anything and he would’ve been damned if you were out trying to work sick.
Yet still… something had been off about you.
You had fisted your hands into his shirt, a small smile on your face that didn’t quite reach your eyes as he had curled his arms around your shoulders with his fingers digging into the sweater you wore that was his, however he didn’t mind it since he loved it when you wore his clothes around the house. He had asked you what was wrong, and you had pressed yourself closer to him, with a sheen in your eyes that was the tall-tale sign of your eyes watering. He was nearly ready to drop everything for you just to see what was wrong with you, but you finally answered him, and it startled him just as much.
“When you come home, I have to tell you something.”
“Why can’t you tell me now?”
“They need you… But please come back to me, this is… Promise me you’ll come home, Kento.”
He did; he promised you that he would.
You had sent him off after that, his stomach in knots as he thought back to your worried face and tear-filled eyes the longer he sat on that train to Shibuya. He didn’t know why you had been pushed to the back of his mind, though perhaps it was because he knew you were safe at home, away from everything that was happening and safe at home. Though when you returned back to the forefronts of his brain, he remembered that promise.
He was never one to make promises, but you were adorably cute every time you’d make him do pinky promise over something so trivial that it made him want to laugh and he couldn’t help but to play along. However, those promises from before were nothing compared to the gravity of the oath he swore to you before he left for Shibuya.
He couldn’t break it to you and raising his left hand again to spy the ring (it was miracle it was still there) marring his ring finger, he knew he had to come home to you. And yet… (he let his eye wander over the flesh that was no longer there, red hue startling him more than the sign of blood pouring out of a wound on his body, and knowing that it would never heal over to skin or be the same again; that left side of him was completely tarnished from how it used to be) he wondered how you would perceive seeing him…
He couldn’t think about it too much longer, for the mutated flesh and blood that were the remnants of the humans were closing in on him, and he realized then if he wanted to complete his own promise to live a life free of regrets and free of any uselessness he had to keep fighting for the sake of you.
(He was in so much pain.)
If he ended up leaving you alone, that would be his ultimate sin... His biggest regret.
He took on the mutated humans (every swing was pain; stinging in each limb as blood spattered onto him and the floor), swinging (the burnt flesh along his arm screamed from each quick, rapid movement of his shoulder, the tendons in his muscles stretching and snapping; bleeding) and slicing (his vision was getting hazy, the loss of his left eye beginning to finally take its toll on him as it became too much for one eye to handle everything that was coming at him), until all of them fell away to his feet (the way they diminished and were put to rest made him sigh in longing; it looked so comforting to be put out their misery) and he was left standing.
(He was tired, and his breathing beginning to leave him.)
He wasn’t sure where he came from, but it was a beat and there was another hand touching him; a light tap that made him pause and look up to who was touching him. Mahito was there, palm upon his skin and fingers spread much like Jogo, and the humming of a nauseating cursed energy of his that settled heavy in a squeeze along his esophagus and a coil within his gut. He knew what it meant.
He knew then he had failed in altering the course of what was the happen; the Butterfly Effect already set in motion for what was to happen from the moment he stepped foot onto that train for Shibuya; the moment you told him he had to go because you were prioritizing his work over you (he wanted to laugh; why would you ever think he cared more about work over you?) and he listened to you despite the worry something was wrong with you.
It was all falling into motion, and he couldn’t change a damn thing.
He had felt the same way whenever he had been trapped inside of Mahito’s Domain Expansion, yet that time Yuji wasn’t busting through the veil that had covered them to save him. He wasn’t going to be able to watch you nearly break Yuji’s ribs with the hug you had given him when he had told you what had happened. He wouldn’t be able to hear you tease him over the soft spot he had developed for the boy; Itadori Yuji reminding him so much of Haibara Yu –
It was brief, but he remembered Mahito and he speaking, though the conversations words were lost on him the moment he stopped seeing Mahito and in his place was a face he had not forgotten and wouldn’t forget for as long as he lived.
Yu stood in front of him once again, youth frozen in time while he kept moving forward with age despite that hollow feeling in his heart the moment he realized Yu was dead. He only stared at Yu for a long moment, the toll of his injuries rushing forward all at once and the adrenaline beginning to fade away as all the pain crashed over him like a tsunami’s wave and he just grew so tired. Yet he did not fall there, he let himself fade to a time before, when he had decided to come back to the school after four years and resume what he had been doing for years, but he still wondered as he stood covered in burns and missing an eye what he truly returned for and if anything he had done really ever amounted to anything in the end.
He looked at the boy smiling at him still, despite it all, and wondered if he could find his guidance there.
Haibara, what the Hell was I trying to do anyway? I ran… Even though I ran away, I came back with the vague reason of the finding the work worthwhile…
What was the reason?
He was startled when Yu seemed to hear him, the thought he had kept deep within the recesses of his mind unknown to everyone for the façade he put on, and watched slowly as Yu’s arm raised, pointing an index finger to the left and he heard the name before he saw him.
“Nanamin!”
Yuji…
He could hear Mahito greet him as well, but could not see him, as he told Yu that he could not tell him that and it only be a burden and a curse placed upon the boy’s shoulders in the end. He already had enough on his plate as was, he could not do that to Yuji. He would settle for something not as heavy for boy… and perhaps… maybe tell him something to say to you.
I’m sorry.
(He was getting sleepy.)
However, before he could get the words out to reassure Yuji, Yu moved again, head turning slightly with a gleaming grin painted on his lip to look slightly behind him. He felt confused, but when he heard the oncoming footsteps from Yuji and from the second unidentified person as the harsh crackle in the atmosphere shifted from the arrival of a strong source of cursed energy, he supposed he knew then.
It nearly happened to fast for him to comprehend as Yu’s visage faded away in a cloud of dark colors and he was suddenly looking back at Mahito, whose eyes had widened and had removed his hand from his chest to turn and try to stop the oncoming assailant before the side of their foot slammed into the side of his head in a devastating crack and he heard the flesh tear away and bone crack within the arm that he had placed upon him. He watched the blood fall along the arm, realizing the kick had sent Mahito several yards away crashing through the wall and his arm had been completely torn off.
He knew he wasn’t dead however, his arm would regrow and he’d be back up, but he was more worried at the heartbreaking expression on your face whenever you stood in front of him taking in what he looked like after everything that had happened.
He wanted to ask you what the Hell you thought you were doing, why you were there, why were you crying, until he realized it was all because of him.
Don’t look at me like this, please.
How were you ever going to look at him the same again?
He didn’t say anything, realizing his breath was beginning to leave him the same moment he spotted Mahito again. He couldn’t speak though, legs finally failing him as he collapsed and started to spit up blood in hacks, his body beginning to shut down as he heard you and Yuji scream at the same time.
Mahito would hurt you both, and he couldn’t do a damn thing.
You wouldn’t be able to take on Mahito, he was far too strong for you and could kill you.
He had to do something, but the image of yours and Yuji’s faces hovering over him was blurry; hazy as the one eye he still had begun to close. He realized then the breaths he was taking were panicked, and he couldn’t move his legs or his body as his heart in spite of withering away was pulsing at ridiculous pace.
He was dying.
He couldn’t move, he couldn’t see, he couldn’t feel –
He had to save you and Yuji, but he couldn’t move, he couldn’t see, he couldn’t feel –
He could hear you both though, calling out to him as he fell down, his world shrinking in on him in the pitch darkness that he slowly begun to fear when he remembered the people within the light he had to care for. He didn’t want to leave you alone, but his lungs were closing; burning like his body when he had been set on fire, and his vision closing into a pit of nothingness like the socket of where his left eye had been.
He had to do something, or else he really was worthless in the end, but –
He couldn’t breathe… and he was dyingdyingdyingdying –
He couldn’t breathe –!
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When Nanami Kento awoke, he took a long inhale, eye opening to the familiar ceiling of his bedroom, but not able to hear anything other than the own ringing in his ears and his heart resounding inside of his chest. He was aware he was panting, and everything felt too hot and constricted around him despite the cool breeze wisping through an open window in front of the bed. His throat felt raw and sore, like he had been hacking and choking on his own breaths and saliva in his sleep, and there was an anxiety-stricken situation gripping his heart as he realized he couldn’t move for the moment and suddenly he was thrown back into his dream – no, his memory of that Halloween night five years beforehand.
The world squeezing him tight, his body failing him and everything just fucking hurting again. It was so much pain, and it was too much, everything in him screaming at him as his tendons pulled and snapped, his body stung and bled, and his mind told him to lay down and rest.
He fought it off, he couldn’t fall that time.
Not again, he couldn’t do it again, he had to get up and fight that time…
He could do something – he had to do something.
He had to get up and fightfightfightfight and keep Yuji and you safe –
“Breathe, Kento.”
The voice nearly startled him, but it was spoken so gently and cautiously that he couldn’t find himself to be afraid of it for the moment. It nearly sounded underwater, distorted even as he had to repeat it back into his mind a few times to fully understand what they meant, and when he let the vibrations of it ooze into his skin and let the words spoken twirl around his brain like a ribbon, he understood he knew that voice and it wasn’t there to harm him.
It was your voice.
“You’re okay.”
It made him calm down a little, and you kept your distance for the moment until you knew that he was okay and repeated a mantra that had been told to him many times by the doctor and you whenever he had the horrifying tidbits late at night.
“Count and breathe. Take as long as you need.”
Yes, that was right. He could breathe, his lungs weren’t failing him and his heart was okay.
Kento just needed to count and breathe until he was sure he was able to go on and he was okay.
One; inhale.
Two; exhale.
Three (his fingers twitched, and he realized he was gripping the sheets so hard it was a wonder they didn’t rip); inhale.
Four; exhale.
Five; inhale.
Six (he let go of the sheets, the softness of the comforter returning to his sense of feeling as he realized he was not lying on the cold ground bleeding and instead in a warm bed that molded into his body and let him rest well); exhale.
Seven (the white noise in his ears retreated for the crash of the waves from the ocean along Malaysia outside the house, and the blurred vision of the ceiling fan spinning became clear and allowed him to see the moonbeams from the night glare in and bathing the bedroom in its heavenly shine); inhale.
Eight (he could move again, stretching his legs and wiggling his toes as he blinked rapidly and could move his tongue once more, and there was the soft smell of you wisping up his nostrils as he realized you were there and he was there); exhale.
Nine (he wasn’t in Shibuya anymore, he was at home with you and you were both alive and safe); inhale.
Ten (he wasn’t in Shibuya anymore, he was at home with you and you were both alive and safe); exhale.
Kento blinked the moment he let out that lasting and deep exhale, his mind and body returning to him as he came fully to his senses and finally calmed down. He had that mantra on his mind as he felt himself fall into ease and swallowed down the nausea brimming in his stomach, the burn in his throat subsiding for good as his heart settled down along with his breathing. His lungs no longer screamed for air and his body was his own again.
He was home.
He was alive.
It was just a dream (how many times was he going to be plagued with the images of it?).
And more importantly, you were right next to him, alive and safe still.
“You’re sweating and burning up; I thought you were coming down with another fever again until I heard you.”
Kento nearly sighed when he felt the cool touch of your hand wipe across the back of his forehead to swipe the sweat away, keeping his eye on the ceiling fan spinning for a grounding sense of reality that he was no longer staring up the shrinking, claustrophobic darkness that had threatened to swallow him whole. Your touch would forever soothe him, a solace you offered him along with just your mere presence that he greedily drunk in like the glass of water you were pressing to his lips then.
He felt your other hand slide underneath his neck, fingers tickling the overgrown undercut he had long since abandoned in favor of letting just all be one length, and you lifted his head off the pillow to coax him into drinking some of the liquid. He of course was more than welcome to allow you to do all of it, as it had become a routine of sorts from the various nights the event would happen.
(And as much as he loved it receiving that sweet attention from you knowing you truly loved and care, Kento hated it. He felt like burden each time it happened and you were there to take care of him. You had reassured him so many times, and so many times he liked to pretend that his nightmares didn’t bother him, but it was futile in the end with you. You two were married, you knew everything down to each other’s favorite scent candles, all the way to what made each of you tick.
He hated how pitiful he felt over the trauma of everything, and you were the one lifting him up and comforting him when that’s all he wanted to do for you, and he felt he no longer could.)
“Drink,” you told him, thumb rubbing his nape in comforting circles, “It’ll help your throat.”
He did as you said, parting his lips and letting you tilt the glass forward so that the refreshing and cold water swished along the inside of his mouth and he swallowed it with gluttonous intentions. His throat immediately felt soothed from the refreshing drink, the burning that had been reaching all the way to his ears subsiding as he took a good four gulps before signaling he was done. His tongue slid out to lick along his dry lips (and the one side that’d forever remain that way), and he finally spoke since waking.
“Thank you…”
Kento heard you set the glass back down onto your nightstand, returning to him as your fingers traced along the contours of his face and push away his hair laying over his forehead. “Mm, you don’t have to thank me…” you paused for moment, letting a hand slide down to rest in the middle of his chest, cautious present in your movement and from the way he heard your breath intake and lips part, “…Another nightmare?”
He learned a long time ago that not talking about it made it worse. “Yeah.”
You leaned closer, voice slightly wavering as your sweet smell made him slightly dizzy, yet grounded him, “Was it Shibuya again?”
Against his wishes, his throat closed up and his stomach balled into nausea, a foreign feeling manifesting itself into his eye as he blinked rapidly to try and get rid of it. It wasn’t the mention of Shibuya so much that tore him apart, it was the memories that accompanied him from it and how much he never could escape it despite it being five years since it had happened. He was nowhere near Shibuya, or Jujutsu Sorcery as a whole since he had retired from it after recovering from his injuries, and the society as a whole falling apart on itself after the incident and the many lives that had been taken in the end from the devastating event.
All the lives they had lost… the people he knew that were gone…
He swallowed as that sensation crawled up back into his eye and answering you as he hated the way his voice sounded when he did.
“When isn’t it?”
He felt you shift and then your smell was completely submerging him; shielding him away from all the terrors that threatened to tear his sanity apart and leave him in ragged strips, and his heart threatened to burst through his ribcage for when you came to him for his vulnerability and showcasing your love.
Kento could feel the tear that wanted to fall from the eye he no longer had when you pressed such a tender and loving kiss to the charred skin below the desolate socket free of the eyepatch he wore to kept it hidden from the world, feeling your touch on the same left side of his body completely scarred with the flesh burnt away when you ran your hand along his chest and caressed the area over his heart. It still would beat healthily underneath his ribcage and your touch, a full reminder he was still alive despite everything that had happened. He was still alive with you, and everything was safe.
He was safe.
You were safe.
(You’d be so disappointed in him over his constant worry over you, but he couldn’t help it, not after what had happened that Halloween five years before and the circumstances that pertained to you that day.)
“I’m sorry.”
Your eyelashes fluttered against the wounded skin of his cheek, lips still sweet on him as your hand slid away from his chest and you cupped the smooth side of his face. You turned him to face you, and he was suddenly awestruck like always looking at your figure bathing in the moonshine coming from the various windows of your shared bedroom, every contour on you seemingly shining in the light the moon graced the Earth with as he wanted to find the words to tell you that you were beautiful in spite of telling you so many times before.
One strap of your negligee had slid down your arm, and the soft sigh that left you matched the tenderness in your eyes, “What’re you apologizing for?”
Kento swallowed, wondering how you were still able to look upon him like that when he looked the way he did, “I woke you.”
You sighed and leaned down to press a quick kiss to the area over his heart, pulling your hand away from his face to instead curl your fingers around his own (they were so soft compared to the grooved flesh of his own, and he wondered what it felt like to you each time you touched the left side of him and when you would place a kiss on his mismatched lips). “You know I don’t sleep so much at night as of lately.”
How could he forget? You were twenty-three weeks pregnant. Again.
He paused and lifted his hand, settling it over your belly that was protruding outwards as he remembered his son liked to stay awake at night and kick as opposed to sleeping during the day with you most of the time. He wasn’t sure when you picked up that messed up sleeping schedule (and he didn’t necessarily like it either, often reprimanding you for staying awake into the deep hours of the night and only falling asleep when the clocks began to turn for the morning and sun was rising over the horizon of the ocean), but it made him feel all more bad when you would be awake while he slept soundly half the time.
Holding your stomach brought him more comfort; relaxing him as he remembered the pregnancy along with your daughter’s was an accident all the same. Regardless of it, he was more than happy for a second child (he wanted to laugh when he remembered you told him two was the limit since your daughter was already a handful as was), as deep down he always dreamed of being a father, but being the father of your children only made him all the more ecstatic for what was to come.
“He kicking bad tonight?” he eventually asked, taking to rubbing your belly to see if he could coax any movement out of your son. He loved it when he would kick his hands, his entire body warming with an emotion he couldn’t quite describe as it reminded him of the life inside of you was his family and the very first time you grabbed his hand and let him feel your daughter move.
You stretched and moved to lie back onto your back, Kento subconsciously following you as he rolled onto his side and pressed his lips to your shoulder, and a short yawn left you, “Yeah, though I think he’s starting to take after you and your night owl behaviors.”
“I didn’t stay up late last night.”
“I know, you went to bed at eight. You haven’t done that in so long, thought you might’ve been reverting back to your old man habits.”
He was not old. He was only thirty-three, and you were a year behind him. Kento slid his arm underneath your chest and pinched your side, relishing the small laugh you gave before he sighed and remembered just why he had went to bed so early. “Miho wore me out. I never knew the energy five-year old’s can have.”
“Mmm, I know, she was still wired when I put her to bed. But it doesn’t help you give in and spoil her too.”
“You don’t complain when I spoil you.”
“It’s different.”
He let a hum be his answer, closing his eye and basking in the relaxation he was beginning to feel with you. Yet there was still that lingering darkness haunting him behind his closed eye, and every time he looked into the mirror and saw himself. Kento had never been one for vanity or caring particularly how he looked, however he would admit back when you two had first gotten into a relationship he may have spent a little more time sprucing himself up in the mirror because he wanted to impress you. He had told you many of times he looked like some random guy in comparison to you parading around by his side.
You had told him it was surely the opposite however, reprimanding him for not ever seeing truly how handsome he was.
Nevertheless, he was not a vain man nor took any pride in over his looks, but the moment he looked in the mirror at himself in hospital restroom and saw what he would look like for the remainder of his life, all he could think about was how you would perceive him. Would you look at him in disgust each time he removed his patch and saw the empty place where his eye had sat? Would you shy away from his touch when he would reach a hand out to touch you? Would you never kiss him, hold him, or even touch him again?
Kento knew it was pathetic on his behalf to even think about it, but he wasn’t going to blame you if you were scared of him.
In the end all of it proved to be just his overthinking, you still kissed him the same, still hugged him the same, still held his hand the same, and you still even let him touch you the way he had done so many times before and even waited on him to become comfortable enough again to have sex with him again. It was folly he thought like that, remembering the many times you had kissed every inch of his skin and told him how beautiful he was, but he couldn’t help it at times to think about it.
Especially when it came to his daughter and upcoming son.
Pressing a kiss to your bare shoulder and not yet ready to fall back asleep, he started up another conversation, trying to get any dampening thoughts out of his head, “Thought of a name?”
The sigh that left you made your shoulders droop, your hand moving to thread your fingers into his own as they rested on your ribcage, “No, I even looked at websites… God, don't laugh. You’re a better thinker than I am, have you?”
He hummed and rubbed his cheek along your shoulder, “I have some, but I want you to name him.”
“Kento…”
“It’s only fair. I named Miho, and I thought back then if we were to have another that I’d want you to name them.”
“…You were already thinking about another back then?”
He snorted into your skin, “I told you that having a family with you was something I wanted, even back when we got married it was on my mind… Just didn’t think both times would be unplanned either…”
Sadly, it was true, Miho had been the world’s biggest surprise for him (actually you as well) and the circumstances behind your pregnancy had nearly given him a heart attack when he awoke in that hospital bed, and it was one of the first things that he was told… He could laugh then remembering how pissed you were that you weren’t the one that got to tell him, but the overwhelming emotion of happiness that drowned him knowing you were okay and that he was going to have a child with you won out. His surprise had vanished for an oozing of love and adoration that he was going to have a family.
(You often teased him on how long he held you and how much of a Mother Hen he became over you when he finally got to come home, but he didn’t care, he prioritized you and Miho’s life and health over everything.)
Your upcoming son, however?
He wasn’t sure when that happened, and it wasn’t talked about either as for a long while Kento had thought he’d become infertile from the incident, but fuck, was he wrong. Yet he was not unwelcomed, he was more than happy with you to expand your family by at least one more.
You giggled and he let a small smile press into your shoulder, cherishing in the sound before he felt himself grow sleepier from your voice alone. “I know, but we’ve known longer with him than her, and you got her name out so fast.”
“Give it time, beloved, we still have some months to go.”
You didn’t answer him that time and shifted, turning your head so that your cheek rested atop his hair, the breaths from you tickling his scalp as he realized you were restless. However, you not picking up another conversation was letting those thoughts run their course again, and he was moving his mouth saying and pouring more words out before he could stop them and reprimand himself for bothering you.
“I hope he looks like you…”
“I highly doubt that,” you gave an amused huff and traced a pattern onto the back of his hand with a nail, “he’s more than likely going to look like you.”
He wasn’t sure he wanted that. “Miho looks like you.”
“She has your eyes though, I think my genes only came through because she’s a girl… Though I don’t think that’s how it works…”
Honestly he wasn’t too sure either, he himself knew absolutely nothing about pregnancy and had to read up on it as much as he could to cater to you and tend to your needs. Kento’s eye reopened and he sighed, voice coming out more quieter than he wanted, “…You don’t think he won’t wonder why I look like this?”
He hated that those words passed his lips, but it was fleeting thought he had to let free the moment it passed his mind. He couldn’t hide anything from you any longer, you vouched out every single insecurity to him and he was more than glad you did so that he was able to comfort you, and you had told him many times to let you know if anything ever bothered him; regardless of if it was an insecurity or something you did.
“Kento,” you turned to face him, hand already finding its way to his face as you stroked your thumb along his cheek, “I know he won’t care or wonder, and Miho is proof enough for that too. She’s never once asked you, and she thinks you’re a cool, super, secret hero,” you poked his nose, leaning forward into his face and pressing another kiss onto him while lightly laughing, “She thinks her daddy is a pirate too, she told me today if she thinks if she asked, ‘really nice and with a pretty please’ if you’d take her out on the ocean one day.”
He couldn’t help the rush of heat that flooded up into his cheeks, the flusterment and blush from your sweet words and his daughter’s thoughts about him nearly too much for him to bear. No doubt from the patch he wore over his lost eye she thought that was so, and the few cartoons she had watched that depicted a pirate she associated it with him. It was the most satisfying reassurance he could’ve had knowing Miho never once doubted why her father looked like that and accepted it as was, her childlike fear she may have possessed nonexistent from how much she clung to him.
He had been worried about what his daughter would think of him when she grew old enough to register faces, and even holding her after you gave birth he had been nervous that he was just tainting her alone with the touch of his burnt hand along her soft skin. You had reassured him as quickly as you saw the anxiety present in his expression, something he didn’t think would be possible after everything, and told him that would never be the case. You had told him he wasn’t a monster, that he was still the same Nanami Kento from before and still the same man you had fallen in love with when you were a teenager and would continue to love no matter what.
Kento felt your finger trace down the slope of his nose, breath mingling with his and sweet against his lips as you whispered so softly with a chaste kiss to his top lip, “You really are beautiful, and I wouldn’t trade you or how you are now for anything in the world y’know… You can’t get rid of me so easily either, dork,” you lifted your hand and wiggled your ring finger in his face, the diamond on it glinting and luminous in the moonbeams, “I meant it when I said it that day.”
Eye lidded and sleep beginning to truly befall on him courtesy of your soothing voice and presence, he let a small, lazy smile grace his lips, the hand he had trapped under him and the one forever rough sliding forward to caress your cheek with a thumb stroking your skin as he leaned into you to press a firm kiss to your awaiting lips. You slid your hand down to his heart, fingers splaying as you felt his heartbeat and let him know once more that he was still alive, he was still healthy and you were there with him.
He knew he was more a man of actions at times rather than words, but marriage had made him more sentimental – you had made him more sentimental and he never felt the slightest bit of embarrassment or self-consciousness in ever telling you.
Kento mouthed them against your bottom lip; a lethargic kiss he had placed on you as he let you know from his heart and soul alone like he always did.
“I love you.”
You sighed against his mouth before he pulled away, his eye heavy with exhaustion as you threw a leg over his hip and ran your fingers through his hair, “I love you too, handsome.”
Every time you told him, he stored it away into his heart, keeping it as close as he could as he knew you meant it just much as he meant it every time he told you. Each time you told him was as special as the first time you ever told him, and each time he knew he wouldn’t ever love someone like the way he loved you.
He knew he was able to fall asleep then, the harrowing thoughts and memories gone as you and your touch brought forward new ones he liked to look back into that helped to have the sweet dreams he so longed for that he knew your warmth in the bed with him alone could bring. Yet his sleepiness brought forward more of his eccentric behavior, words flying free of his vocal chords before he could stop them in a rouse to keep the content mood going as he didn’t want to leave you awake without parting you with perhaps something unlike what he would say and knew would make you laugh and lift your spirits.
(And probably tease him over as well in the morning.)
“I’m gonna tell Pumpkin since Imma pirate then you’re the mermaid who captivated me with one look, and now we’re married, and you live on land, and she’s secretly part mermaid.”
“If that wasn’t so cute about Miho, I’d call you corny, Kento. God, you’re such a dad.”
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henrycangelbaby · 1 month
Text
In which: He feels foolish, admitting his fears out loud, for they seem so silly, but he wants to be honest with her, always.
or
Logan feels unfit to be a father.
He sleeps most nights, always on the left side of the bed (he used to sleep on the right until they started sharing a bed, and they quickly found out she had no hope of sleeping peacefully when on the wrong side for the night). He had given up the right side easily; if he had achieved anything else in all his years of life, adapting to change (new sleep conditions) now came easy to him.
She always sleeps on the right, her back curled into his chest; sometimes she even cuddles his arm close. It causes his shoulder to ache in the morning, but it feels like it’s worth it. Her happiness is always worth it.
He hasn’t been sleeping as much as he usually does. He’s not well rested or peaceful, and despite all his sleeping experience, he cannot seem to get a good night's rest. In recent months, it’s his thoughts that have been keeping him awake. His doubts and worries haunt all his thoughts day and night. He should speak to her about it; he knows if he brought it up, she would scold him for not bringing it up sooner. They were in this together, and he could always tell her anything.
Part of him feels guilty; she shouldn’t have to bear his burden; she’s already doing so much for him, growing their child and giving them the gift of a family. He might never be able to repay her for it. Part of him feels embarrassed. Why is he feeling so many stupid feelings? All this anger and self-pity is so stupid that it makes him, well, angry.
Sometimes it makes him sad, a kind of sadness that he can’t seem to shake off; it lingers deep in his chest, and sometimes only when she sleeps quietly next to him does he allow it to consume him. A few silent tears slip from his eyes as he splays his hand, covering the expanse of her stomach. His eyelashes feel wet.
She sleeps peacefully next to him, her eyelashes gentle against her cheekbones. He can feel the way her stomach rises and falls with her breath, his palm spread across the bump. Well, it isn’t just a bump; it’s her bump. His baby is in there, their baby. He’s not quite sure how to refer to “it” yet. Not to sound rude, but the whole “kid” thing had never really been on his radar.
Logan knows many things; he knows violence and death, fighting and killing, loneliness, and years and years of loneliness. He’s not actually been lonely; he's always been surrounded by people, but he never quite had the love and intimacy that Y/N has brought to his life. It was new when they first met; she was so young, sweet, and loving. The sun shone so brightly whenever they were together that he swore his tan got a shade or two darker after he saw her. They would bask together, sleeping peacefully in the yellow hue.
There is no hue right now; in fact, he feels like the sun may have retreated forever, leaving him in a gloomy darkness. And it’s all his fault. Y/N still loves him the same; nothing has changed, only his feelings.
He can feel the tears again; they burn his eyes, blurring his vision. His chest feels tight; it aches as it begins to beat faster. He feels different from before; never have his emotions felt so heightened before. He has to get out.
He throws the covers off his body so fast, not giving a second thought to where they land. He finds himself in the dining room, hazardously throwing on the big light. Before he can think about it and compose himself, they come out. His claws suddenly shoot through the wood of the dinner table.
"Fuck,” he curses, and it hurts like a bitch as well. Logan has had control over his claws for quite literally decades; he has grown to understand the pain of it, but so unexpectedly, this time it hurt. He can’t stop the tears in his eyes as he yanks the metal out of the wood, leaving the splintered wood behind.
“Lo?” Y/N's voice comes from behind him. Sweet and sleep-ridden, she walks quietly from the bottom of the stairs, tiptoeing towards him. “Why are you out of bed?”
Her eyes suddenly catch the busted wood he stands over, and caught at the scene of the crime, he feels a sense of shame wash over him. How had he let his emotions get the best of him like that? This was the whole fucking problem.
She spoke again: "Is everything okay, honey?"
Fuck, she shouldn't be worrying about this. He apologizes before he can think about it. "I'm sorry for waking you, baby; everything's fine; go back to bed."
She doesn't listen to him as he expected, stepping closer to him, eyes skimming over the damaged table before coming to stand right in front of him. He goes to flinch away when she reaches out for his hand. She soothes her other hand up and down his arm for a second. God, he feels so fucking dumb right now, acting like a feral street cat.
The soft petting worked, and she softly grabbed his hand without resistance, pulling it up to her lips to plant the softest of kisses on it. It's an act of affection that he only allows Y/N to do; he feels like a feral cat when other people try to touch his hands, almost hissing at the touch.
He had opened up to her about the pain, while it healed instantly, he often felt it linger there, a tenderness that could only be healed by kisses from his sweet girl. She always treated them like it was real pain, kissing his knuckles after a long day and ensuring he takes hand cream with him everywhere he goes (he would never usually use something like that, but she buys them the same one, and he quite likes the sugary scent that reminded him of her).
"You can tell me what's bothering you." It sounded less like an offer and more like a demand. She must have seen the hurt that flashed across his face at her words, "I would never judge you."
It seems uncanny that she always knows what he needs to hear; her reassurances mean the world to him. She guides him to sit down on one of the dining table chairs standing between his legs. He looks up at her, and she smiles back at him. She always looks so beautiful when she smiles.
"You'll always be safe here, with us."
Logan couldn't help it; the tears started leaking out of his eyes. "Us," he knew what she meant by that, their baby—the reminder of the burden he was about to become in the family that they had created together. His silent tears dribbled down the soft fabric of her t-shirt, creating a wet patch at the top of her rounded stomach. She let him cry, shushing him gently, as he imagined she might do in a few months with their baby.
There are so many things he wants to say, so many apologies he wants to utter out loud, but nothing comes out except more tears. "Tell me what's hurting you, honey; maybe I can help fix it."
He shakes his head. "You're already doing so much for me; for our family, I just can't."
"Can't what?"
He feels foolish, admitting his fears out loud, for they seem so silly, but he wants to be honest with her, always.
"I'm scared," it comes out barely as a whisper, his confession quiet, but he knew she heard it. She nodded wordlessly; it was enough to encourage him to keep going. "I'm scared to be a dad, scared that I'm a bad person, a violent and unfit person to raise a child, a man as horrible as me tainting such an innocent thing."
She holds him tighter, his head resting against the home of their baby.
"You are not a bad person." Her words are firm as she tilts his head upwards, forcing him to make eye contact with her. "Honey, you are the nicest person that I know."
He opens his mouth, but she shakes her head at him before continuing, "You are many things, Lo, so loving and so kind, and not once have I felt unsafe around you, yeah?"
He stopped crying, wiping his eyes, and apologizing. "I'm sorry, bub."
She shakes her head with a chuckle. "None of that; you are always valid for believing these things, but that doesn't make them true. You are the best husband, and I know that you will be the best daddy ever."
Before he can think about it, he pulls her down into a kiss and smiles into it. For the first time in months, he feels fine, like everything will work out just fine.
"Come on, let's go back to bed." She grabs his hand, leading him out of the room. He casts the splintered table a glance as he turns the light off.
"I'm sorry about the table, bub."
She just smiles at him. "That's okay; it was ugly anyway," is all she says before picking up the pace towards their bedroom.
Wait, he picked out that table.
"Hey!"
A/N: first fan fic i've ever published and finshed, pls be nice. Also i have the grammar + spelling skills of a dyslexic baby, i did put this through a checker but please just ignore it. also also feedback is always welcome idk if anyone will read this but i heart Hugh Jackman
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sycamoregirlsworld · 7 months
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Cowboy Like Me- L. Castellan
Luke x fem! reader
shorter then usual
“now you hang from my lips like the gardens of babylon. with your boots beneath my bed, forever is the sweetest con.” - taylor swift
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Nothing had felt right since Luke had left. Days seemed duller, nothing was exciting anymore, it was a chore to just get up every day.
The pitying glances thrown her way had long turned cold. No one cared to check up on her anymore when she stayed in bed all day, the rest of the camp thought she should just get over it.
It made (Y/n) feel pathetic. Luke had betrayed them, he had left her without a goodbye! So why did she miss him so much?
She found it stupid, she found him stupid. Luke knew she would’ve gone with him without even so much as a ‘please.’
So why didn’t he ask her? Why didn’t he take her away?
Instead, she was left at camp. She was all alone, people didn’t want to talk to her anymore. Everyone was scared that Luke’s girlfriend would turn out just like him. That maybe she was a spy for him.
She supposed their feelings weren’t wrong, if given the chance she would leave like Luke. If given the chance maybe she would’ve been a spy for him.
But he hadn’t talked to her in months, not since the day he had disappeared without a trace.
She missed how it used to be, she missed the happiness. She longed for when Luke would sneak into her cabin late at night to hold her in his arms, or how they’d sneak away from the campfires to be alone, she even missed when he’d tease her over at bad she was at sword fighting but still assist her in any way he could.
It wasn’t like that now, and it would never be that way again.
She slept alone now, no longer with Luke’s warmth enveloping her. She found it annoying how her siblings would tease her when they found them cuddled up in the morning, but now she yearned for it more then anything. It was better then the harsh glares they sent her way.
Campfires were lonelier then ever. She never stayed long anymore, memories of the happier past haunting her. The fire burned at her skin, and the songs hurt her ears.
As she looked around, her eyes caught sight of Annabeth laughing and joking with Percy. She didn’t understand how Annabeth could act like nothing had happened, she was his sister..
Maybe it was her jealousy talking, it wasn’t fair how everyone had just moved on and (Y/n) was still stuck in her grief.
Had no one cared for Luke? Did no one care that he had betrayed them?
She had to leave, it wasn’t like anyone would’ve cared if she left anyways.
She slipped into the woods like her and Luke had done time and time before, trudging over the sticks and underbrush to the one place she knew would bring her comfort.
(Y/n) found herself in a secluded area near Zeus’s fist. It was a place her and Luke would come often, whether they just wanted to hang out or if Luke needed her and there were people in the cabins.
She slid down to her knees in front of a little opening in the rocks, (Y/n) reaching her hand in to retrieve the duffle bag she and Luke had hidden there long ago.
At some point, the bag had held all the things the needed when they were alone together. Snacks, a blanket, condoms Luke had snagged from Gods-knows-who, and a couple of mixtapes.
But now, the bag held all the remnants she had left of Luke. Clothes, stupid jewlery she had made for him, and poloroids of them were stuffed into the bag.
She had done this many times since he was left, sneaking away from camp and grabbing the duffle bag so she could pretend that Luke was still with her.
This time, however, the smooth fabric of the bag didn’t meet her fingers. (Y/n) frowned as she shoved her hand deeper into the crevice, but her hand only met dirt.
“What the fuck…” She mumbled as she lowered herself to the ground to look into the hole. “Where is it?”
Panic started to rise in her chest as she started swiping at the leaves that surrounded her, in hopes of finding the bag.
This was all she had left of Luke, she needed this bag!
“Where is it!?” Her breaths came out labored as tears started filming over her eyes.
Her shaky hands snaked into her hair, tugging on it in stress.
“Looking for something?”
(Y/n) froze as she heard the voice behind her, this wasn’t real. This had to be a stress induced hallucination.
She craned her head around, her mouth going dry as she saw Luke standing behind her with the duffel bag hanging from his fingers.
What was wrong with her? She’d dreamt about the moment he’d come back to her for so long, making up scenarios of what she would say or do to him.
Would she beat his ass for leaving her? Cry? Make-out with him?
But as he stood over her, dark curls hanging over his eyes, she was frozen.
“L-Luke?” She croaked out.
Luke smiled softly as he crouched down in front of her, his hand grabbing her chin as he tilted her head up.
She almost started sobbing right then, realizing just how much she had missed his touch.
“Hey, baby…” His breathed out. Now that he was closer, (Y/n) could see his face more clearly. He looked different, stronger. His face was more mature, and his clothes looked more expensive then the stupid camp shirt he had always worn.
But his hair was still the same curly mess she loved, and his eyes were still the same ones she adored.
“Why are you.. here..” Her voice shook as she gripped his wrist.
He unzipped the duffel with his free hand and pulled out a mixtape. “I wanted this.” He shrugged before tossing it back in. “It’s a plus that you kept all my stuff in here, needed some of that.”
(Y/n) felt her face grow hot in anger, he was here for that stupid mixtape? What about her! Was he not going to come steal her away?
She shoved his hand off her chin and stumbled away. “What about me?” She glared at him.
“That’s why I wanted the mixtape..” He frowned and reached out for her again. “I’ve been going crazy without my girl with me..”
She saw red at his statement. He was going crazy? How did he think she felt!?
“Then why did you leave me?” She spat out as she slapped his hand away from her, tears falling down her cheeks involuntarily.
“I didn’t want to get you involved—” Luke rushed out, trying to crawl closer to her. “I didn’t want to leave you, but it was too dangerous to take you with me.”
“You shouldn’t have made the choice for me!” She sobbed, head falling in her hands. “I need you, and you left me…”
“(Y/n)….” Luke whispered. He tilted her head up as his thumb brushed her cheek, wiping her tears away with fond eyes. “Don’t cry, sweetheart. You know I hate seeing you like this.”
Her cheeks flushed as she gazed up at him with wet eyes. She hated how after all this time, he still had this affect on her.
She was supposed to be angry, she should want beat his (pretty) face in with that stupid mixtape, but instead all she wanted his him.
She wanted—no, she needed—his comfort, she needed his affection, she just needed him.
“C’mon pretty girl, I know you’re happy to see me.”
(Y/n) squeezed her eyes shut and looked away from the boy, she was happy to see him.
“Take me.” She blurted out as she looked back up at him, her hands meeting his sharp jawline.
“What do you mean..?” Luke mumbled, his hands reached up to grab hers.
“Take me with you this time, I want to be with you..” (Y/n) begged him.
Luke hesitated as he stared down at her. His eyes flicked between her eyes and lips, desire clouding his thoughts. How had he been holding back for so long? He’d been so needy for her for months, and now that she was in front of him he hadn’t even kissed her.
“But what about camp?” He tilted his head to the side, reaching a hand out to run his thumb along her cheek.
“I don’t care about camp.” She immediately shook her head, melting into his embrace. “I just want you”
Luke sighed before tugging her forward, his nose brushing against hers. “You know there’s no coming back from this, right?”
“I don’t care, as long as I’m with you.”
Luke’s restraint snapped, and he captured her lips with his in a frenzied motion.
(Y/n) moaned as his hand gripped her throat, applying just the right amount of pressure that sent shivers down her spine.
Despite the months apart, he still knew her intimate desires. The knowledge made her heart pound in anticipation.
Her hands ended up in his curls, tugging at them softly as she desperately pulled him closer. The kiss was rough and desperate with longing, their teeth clashing as they tasted eachother for the first time in months.
“Fuck, I missed you so much.” Luke groaned as he pulled away from her lips and started to kiss down her neck.
(Y/n) crawled into his lap and gripped his hair, her nails digging into his scalp. “I missed you too, don’t ever leave me again.” She pleaded as she felt Luke suck on her neck, no doubt leaving marks along her skin.
Luke grunted as she climbed into his lap, bucking his hips up into hers with a needy whine. “Never again.” He mumbled into her neck, his hands gripping her hips tightly.
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Good Luck, Babe! (6)- Standing Face To Face
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Wanda Maximoff X Reader 18+
Inspired by the song 'Good Luck, Babe!' by Chappell Roan
Summary: Returning to Westview after twelve years away causes you to look back on your secret love affair with Wanda, to remember the intimate moments you shared together before her refusal to accept her true self drove the two of you apart, leaving you to pick up the pieces of your broken heart alone.
What happens when you reunite with the woman you've been trying so hard to forget, forced to watch her suffer in an unhappy marriage that was slowly drowning her, still too scared to confront her true feelings?
Chapter 6- 5k Words
Good Luck, Babe! Masterlist
Chapter 1 | Chapter 5
Having to live next door to the woman who haunted your thoughts for the last decade, who still had a piece of your heart despite everything that had happened, was the cruellest joke the universe could have played on you. It tore you apart a little each day when you’d leave the house and watch as she tried to ignore your longing and pleading gaze, the way she’d try to hurry the twins up to get into the car so she wouldn’t have to interact with you. It felt like she was… repulsed by you, by the feelings you stirred within her and it only pressed against the wound on your heart harder every time. It hurt, it hurt so fucking much and you weren’t sure how to untangle the mess of thoughts in your mind, how to start unravelling the whirlwind of emotions that flooded through you every day when she’d ignore and avoid you.
You couldn’t decide what broke your heart more, the fact that you had to push down everything once again for her and pretend that she was just the woman next door, that she didn’t mean anything to you because she shouldn’t. It brought back all those memories of bottling up your feelings, putting everyone else before yourself and having to experience the dull ache that settled in your chest with every forced smile, every lie you told to make her feel better as that’s all you ever cared about. You only ever cared about her.
The other thing that slowly twisted the knife lodged in your chest was the fact that she had finally gotten the life she always wanted, the life she desperately thought she needed, and she wasn’t happy with it. You knew Wanda, you had known her better than anyone else, you could read her body and understand exactly what was wrong with her with a simple look, and you knew that she wanted nothing more than something different from the life she had built with Vision.
You could only watch helplessly as she pushed herself through each and every day, watch as the two of them would argue constantly when the twins were away at their grandparents or uncle’s house, the way she’d be left with tears in her eyes and no one to comfort her. It broke you in a way you couldn’t imagine, the sight of her wiping her tears on the doorstep as he stormed past her, the many times it had happened and how it hung over her like a shadow. It was a dark presence that loomed over her joy, the corner of her never lifting as high as she’d want them to because of how trapped she felt.
You just wanted to make her smile again, but you didn’t want to interfere, clearly reading the signs that she was still confused and shocked by your arrival, likely still trying to wrap her head around the swarm of emotions that were dug up just like you were.
A deep sigh left you as your hands reached up to rub your temples, your mind unable to stop thinking about her, about the two of you, what the two of you were. You needed to stop driving yourself mad, to just stop thinking about those green eyes for once in your life. It was over, it had been for years and it forever would be. There was no point in torturing yourself by thinking about what the two of you could have been, the fact it could have been you two living with your family like the way you had always dreamed.
Another frustrated noise left you as you couldn’t stop your thoughts dragging you down a negative spiral, your body stilling in your hallways with Lucky’s lead in your hand as you took a deep breath, trying your best to compose yourself before you would inevitably see Wanda, knowing she’d likely be getting the twins in the car soon for school.
It took you a minute to gradually relax yourself, Lucky’s eyes staring up at you, tongue hanging out of his mouth as he waited a little impatiently, clearly excited to go for the walk when a knock at the door surprised you both, your heart fluttering in your chest briefly. Was it Wanda? You shook the thought away almost as soon as it came, a sudden nervousness crawling through you as you tentatively opened the door, a sigh mixed with relief and disappointment escaping you at the sight of a slightly older woman with a bowl of cookies in her hand.
“Good morning dear, you’ll have to forgive me for how long it’s taken for me to welcome you to the neighbourhood,” the woman said, her eyes raking up and down your body as you were in your workout gear, her smile lifting a little bit as mischief flashed in her eyes, her head tilting in an enticing manner. “My husband only told me yesterday that you had officially moved in,” she continued, her eyes eventually meeting yours, her gaze expressing how she was looking at you like fresh meat, her hand reaching forwards in greeting. “I’m Agatha, I live in the house across the street,” the older woman introduces, her tone cheery as you smile at her politely, shaking her hand whilst observing how her gaze eventually leaves your figure to Lucky, her smile faltering for a minute at the sight of a pet before returning to her joyful state.
“I’m Y/n, it’s lovely to meet you,” you reply kindly, taking the bowl from her with a soft smile whilst thanking her, her fingers lingering against yours, brushing against you purposely before she moves her hand, clearly trying to flirt with you. You brush off her actions, knowing you weren’t interested in her, only one woman present in your mind as the sound of two young boys and their tired mother caught your attention, your head turning immediately at the sound.
You missed how Agatha’s gaze remained focussed on you, watching curiously as the look in your eyes changed to longing as you stared off at Wanda trying to get the twins into the car for school, Tommy seeming to be grumpy as he trudged his way over to the vehicle, a small wave directed at you as he saw Lucky sat by your feet, his mood still sour though. You shyly waved back to the boy as you did every morning, Wanda’s head naturally turning to see who he was acknowledging, her body seeming to freeze momentarily at the sight of you and Agatha, her hand affectionately on your shoulder. A flash of something appeared on her expressive features, your brows furrowing slightly at the hurt you saw before it immediately faded away as she needed to get in the car, the twins running a little late for school.
Reluctantly, you tore your attention away from the other woman and back to Agatha, an intrigued glimmer evident in her eyes as she smiled at you, her hand still on your shoulder making you shuffle slightly, the older woman getting the hint.
“I don’t mean to be rude but I need to get going now,” you say, one of your hands rubbing the back of your neck awkwardly as your eyes flickered to the red car reversing out of the drive, catching Wanda’s green once more before refusing to look in that general direction again until she had gone, not needing any more confusion to cloud your mind.
“No worries dear,” her tone is still chirpy despite your rejection of her advances, “If you need anything I’m just across the road,” she reiterates, a small nod coming from you as you place the bowl of cookies on the side in the hall, making sure you had everything you needed for your walk as she continued, “I mean anything Y/n, don’t be shy to come over,” she adds before saying goodbye, the suggestiveness not missed in her voice as you just smile once more, trying to kindly get rid of her.
“I’ll keep that in mind,” you softly murmur, locking the front door after she had left you, another deep sigh escaping you as swarms of doubts and insecurities filled your mind, that hurt expression haunting you for your entire walk.
***
Throwing the tennis ball to the bottom of your garden, you chuckled at the way Lucky sprinted to chase after the ball, his body jumping slightly to catch the item as it bounced against the grass, a proud look on his face as he pranced back over to you, excited to continue playing. Your fingers gently threaded through his golden locks affectionately as he dropped the ball for you to throw again, his tongue hanging comically out of his mouth as he stared at the item in your hand as if it was the most important thing in the world, his brown eyes tracking every little movement of your hand as you went to throw it again.
Just as you were about to toss it, the sight of a football being kicked over the small fence caught both of your attentions as it rolled against your grass, Lucky running off to investigate the odd object whilst your head tilted to the side, chuckling at the sight of two sheepish boys looking over the fence. Billy’s face was plastered with embarrassment as he apologetically looked at you, his eyes briefly meeting yours before looking over at the where the ball had landed, his gaze brightening at the sight of Lucky sitting next to it, the golden retriever having stolen both of their hearts. Tommy’s expression contrasted his brother's, the brief apologetic look on his face swiftly turning into excitement once he saw the dog, the brunette always elated to see Lucky and desperately wishing he could spend more time with him, his mouth moving without thinking.
“Can we come and play?” he asked instead of apologising for kicking the ball over or asking for it back, your brow raising at his reddened cheeks as he realised he should have said sorry first, Billy muttering something to himself at his brother’s actions. “Please?” He added sheepishly at the end, another amused chuckle escaping you before you considered his words.
You could tell that both of the boys were eager to spend time entertaining the bundle of fluff, the anticipation in their eyes as they waited for you to respond enough of a hint that they were wishing you would say yes. Personally, you didn’t mind if they wanted to come over and play, the two of them most definitely going to be able to match Lucky’s energy levels and tire him out, the issue was whether Wanda would be alright with it. You didn’t want to seem as though you were meddling in her business or with her family, but you were desperate to find an excuse to stand face to face with her and have a proper conversation, unable to keep ignoring or pushing away the feelings that resurfaced every time you saw her.
“Yes but only if your mother says it’s ok,” you answer, their smiles practically reaching their ears as they run off inside to find Wanda emphatically, your body moving to play with their football as you were waiting for them, Lucky rolling around in the grass by your feet. As you were doing kick ups, the sight of auburn hair caught your attention, your focus slipping causing you to miss the ball as it dropped to the floor, your heart pounding against your ribcage as Wanda stood by the fence, looking over at you with a confused look, her emotions masked as the twins stood next to her, bodies practically buzzing with excitement.
“Are you sure it’s alright if they come and play?” she asks, her voice staying composed and void of any emotion, your features conveying your disappointment as she avoids your gaze, simply looking over the work you had done in your garden instead.
“Yes, as long as you’re fine with it,” you softly murmur, your tone gentle and encouraging her to look at you, those enchanting eyes briefly flickering to yours and almost stealing your breath away, her cheeks tinting a subtle shade of pink as she averts her gaze, focussing on her children instead.
“Behave and have fun,” she mutters in a motherly tone, pressing a quick kiss to the both of their heads before they run off to go to your gate, Wanda’s eyes meeting yours one last time before she tries to turn away, the sight of her walking away from you, still trying to stay away from you, causing a flash of hurt to wash through you.
“Wanda, wait,” you rush out, walking as close to the fence as you could, hope bubbling in your chest at the way her body stills. Hesitation was evident on her face as she reluctantly turned to look at you, the emotions she was desperately trying to keep control of flooding through her as she didn't hide the hurt, confusion and longing in her eyes, your shoulders slumping slightly at her despondent form.
Wanda wanted to talk to you, she wanted to escape reality and savour spending time with you, knowing that you somehow seemed to make the world disappear and lift the corner of her lips no matter what, but she couldn’t. Every time she looked at you she was reminded how she made the wrong choice, how she had the life she was told to have and not the one she wanted. She was also reminded at how loveless her relationship was and how under-appreciated she was, how little she cared for Vision and their marriage as that hopeful look in your eyes stirred more in her than any look he’d offered her for years. You were looking at her with something more, something more genuine, and it always managed to stir something deep in her soul, making her crave your presence constantly. You looked at her as though she was the world, eyes filled with memories of love and joy but also agony and heartbreak, bringing up the events of that day and forcing reality back down on her. It was a meeting of changed souls, you weren’t the same person you were twelve years ago and neither was she. You were both forced to move on.
“I’m sorry Y/n, I’m busy at the moment,” she tries to excuse herself but you see straight through the lie, the wound on your heart tearing open as she meets your gaze apologetically.
“Please,” you whisper out, lacing your voice with desperation as you needed to talk to her, it tormented you not being able to speak to her, to keep everything bottled inside you, your emotions ready to burst. “Please, just five minutes whenever your free,” you plead, the tone of your voice and that same longing look in your eyes making her relive that heart-breaking moment with you, cracking her composure as she nods, gradually retreating at the sound of the twins entering your garden to distract you.
With a familiar ache settling in your heart, you stare at the back of her as she walks away from you, the twins running over with ecstatic grins on your face, forcing you to wipe off the anxious expression on your face and smile at them playfully, the corner of your lips not quite reaching as high as you wished they would, your mind consumed with the thought of their mother.
***
The next hour or so with the twins passed by much quicker than you expected, the constant laughter spilling from their lips eventually evoking a sense of happiness and delight from you at the amount of fun they were having with you. The three of you gave Lucky an endless amount of affection as you played a variety of games with him, competing with one another to see who could throw a tennis ball the furthest for him to fetch, running around your garden like lunatics whilst playing a version of tag as the bundle of joy liked to chase you all playfully until he became tired, deciding to sit for a little bit after having had a drink, the sound of his lapping amusing to the twins.
The small smile on your lips stretched wider at the way Billy collapsed on the ground next to Lucky, carefully leaning into his body and cuddling with the dog in an adorable manner as Tommy asked to play football with you, somehow still full of energy as he ran around chasing your ‘poor’ passes, unaware at how you were just trying to tire him out.
“I thought you said you were good at football,” Tommy teased whilst he panted for breath, his cheeks flushed red from the exercise as a small amount of sweat built on his forehead, your head shaking, a sign of your amusement as you flicked the ball up in a skilful manner, briefly showing off to the boy.
“I am good,” you chuckled back whilst you passed it straight to his feet, a look of realisation appearing on his face as he laughed, playing a rubbish pass back to you on purpose to make you sprint to catch it as a small act of revenge before he started to ask you to teach him some skills, wanting to be able to do more tricks to impress his friends.
Nodding to his request, you moved closer to him to show him the basics of how to start off doing kick ups more efficiently, your body crouched by his as you held the ball, showing him the motion you wanted it to travel in. You were patient with him as you demonstrated how he should do it with the best form, your smile never leaving your face as he attempted to reach his goal of ten without dropping the ball, his cheeks tinting a darker shade of red as he kept messing up.
“Hey,” you softly murmured as you could tell he was getting embarrassed and shy with how he kept failing, his gaze avoiding yours. “You’ve got this, just keep going, you’ve nearly got it,” you encouraged, trying to reassure him as you offered him a calm and tender smile, patting his back in a motivating way as he took a moment to compose himself before attempting it again.
Too busy watching how Tommy did, you missed how Wanda slowly walked out of her house to check up on the twins, wanting to let them know dinner would be ready soon and observe how you interacted with her children. A smile stretched across her face at the sheer joy on both of their faces as Tommy played with you and Billy with Lucky, the genuine sign of her happiness slowly fading as a lump clawed its way into her throat, her heart clenching painfully at the sight of what she could have had. She could have had a life filled with laughter and love, she could have had someone to call home, someone who would care for the family they’d created together and someone to enjoy life with but she didn’t. She wouldn’t let herself be loved by you, by a woman, so she threw it all away to please her family. Why couldn’t she just admit the truth? She didn’t want any of this, she wanted… No, she couldn’t say it.
She hated the emotions flooding through her, the regret and shame she felt whilst she continued to look at you and reminisce on your past together, your words ringing around in her head almost mockingly. ‘You can’t run away from…this forever’ tormented her thoughts, drowning her in despair as she didn’t want to run anymore, she didn’t want to be scared of what it meant but she just couldn’t accept the truth. It terrified her, she didn’t know how to tread through the uncertainty, insecurity and doubt filling her mind when she even tried to consider her true feelings. It felt like she was lost at sea and she knew whose hand she wished would pull her from the darkness and shame that surrounded her, but she knew that would never happen. It couldn’t happen.
A glimmer of defeat appeared in her eyes as she savoured the sight of the three of you, her heart skipping a beat when you turned your head and met her gaze, her lips attempting to pull up into a soft smile whilst your face morphed into concern, the boys missing the saddened look on their mothers face as they ran over to the fence, wanting their mother to join in on the fun.
“Mom, come and play with us!” they exclaimed enthusiastically, wanting to spend time with her whilst also staying with you, preferring to play with you than sit at home with their father who was too busy to pay them as much attention.
“I’m sorry Dorogie but dinner is ready,” she murmurs, her hand cupping Billy’s cheek as he stands near the fence, disappointment etched on both of their faces, the fact they had to leave you upsetting them a little bit. “You both need to come back now and wash your hands before food,” she continues, a weight pulling on her heart at the dispiritedness of her boys, her eyes cautiously flickering over to your inquisitive gaze, her eyes catching the tender smile on your lips, a little irritated at how much it soothed yet hurt her.
“But I don’t want to go yet,” Tommy mutters, looking at you hopefully, wanting you to help persuade his mother into letting them play longer.
“I’m sorry but your Mom is in charge here,” you say to the boys, not wanting to give them false hope as they begrudgingly start to move, Wanda offering you an appreciative gaze before speaking up,
“If it’s alright with Y/n, I’m sure you two will be able to go over again another time,” she softly says, their faces lighting up at the possibility of doing this again, their heads snapping around to look at you, further brightening at the way you nod in approval. “Now come on, dinner is nearly ready,” she says once more, her motherly tone seeping into her words as the twins swiftly say goodbye to you before spending more time saying goodbye to Lucky, your hand dramatically going to your heart as they run off laughing at your theatrics, a small smile present on Wanda’s face before you turn to her, a tension slowly building in the air as you are finally left alone.
Standing face to face with her after all these years was more daunting than you had imagined, a sudden lump forcing its way into your throat and preventing you from saying anything, your hesitant and uncertain eyes staring at her, seeming to get lost in her enchanting eyes whilst your chest tightened. You longingly gazed at every swirl of green you had memorised that day, your eyes slowly drifting from her green to her other features, truly admiring how much she had changed over the last twelve years. It was odd, looking at her after all this time and noticing how the world had affected her, the way her features had matured, the way her eyes held less hope and naivety in them, a hidden sense of brokenness clear for you and only you to see.
You were both a shadow of your former selves as you simply stared at one another, unsure of what to say as the silence spoke volumes, expressing how old wounds resurfaced for the both of you.
“Wanda…I-” you tried but you couldn’t find the words to describe how you were feeling, to explain to her the mess of thoughts in your head constantly tangling together, making it impossible to think clearly without thinking of her. You sighed in despair, your shoulders slumping slightly as your mouth opened and closed repeatedly, her mesmerising green looking just as equally torn and confused as you both failed to find the words to help summarise the years of yearning that coursed through your veins.
“Why?” Is all she can muster out, her voice wavering as you notice her lips trembling slightly, the sight cracking your heart open even more as you see the pain clearly on her face. “Why did you have to come back?” Her voice is barely above a whisper as the words are forced out of her, raw with emotion as she feels tears pricking at the corner of her eyes, her trembling hands coming up to swiftly brush them away.
Her words unsettle something deep inside you, the way that they weren’t laced with anger or venom but heartache and confusion making you feel almost nauseous at how much this hurt you, how much facing your buried feelings tore you apart. It was agonising, realising for definite that she was only avoiding you because it physically hurt her heart to see you again after spending so long desperately trying to forget you, to bury that part of her that she was forever ashamed of.
“I… I had to leave England,” you eventually manage out after taking a deep breath, your mind finally thinking about something other than Wanda, part of you regretting that as the events of the last couple months came flooding back to you, only filling you with more pain and heartache. “It hurt too much to stay,” you whisper after a moment, your thumb subconsciously moving to your ring finger, expecting to twist a small band as it had become a nervous habit, the pad of your thumb simply brushing against bare skin though.
You tear your gaze away from her for a moment, brief memories of your life in the UK flashing through your mind as you remember her, remember how deeply you fell in love with her just for her to throw it all away, to slice open another part of your heart and leave you bleeding out in agony.
When you muster the courage to look at her again, you know she can see the tears threatening to spill, her brows furrowing as curiosity and concern overflow from her expressive green at your troubled state, a sigh escaping you as you owe her at least some explanation, even if you didn’t want to say what had truly happened.
“I was stupid enough to fall in love again,” you whisper, letting out a breathless laugh as you continue, “I thought maybe, just maybe, I could love someone the same way I loved…” Your words trail off as you realise you were about to say ‘you’ to Wanda, her eyes staring at you attentively as her heart pounds against her ribcage, waiting in anticipation at what you were about to say. “I could love someone again but it didn’t work out the way I thought it would,” you mutter out, letting her hear the bitterness in your voice before you take a deep breath, pushing away all the screaming thoughts in your mind. “I just needed to come home,” your voice is small as you look away from her, unsure whether the home you were referring to was Westview or Wanda, the woman standing opposite you somehow still a place of safety despite everything. Why couldn’t you just move on?
“I’m sorry,” she whispers back after a moment, staring at her hands as you both struggle to hold the oddly intimate gaze, your lips pulling up into a soft, appreciative smile as you assume she’s referencing what you had recently gone through, missing the underlying regretful tone to her voice. Her eyes were trained on the gold wrapped around her finger, the words that fell from her lips meaning more than you could imagine as she subtly confessed her sorrow for what had happened between you two. She was sorry for everything, for giving into her desires and wanting you, for believing that she could hide the shameful part of her forever, for lying to you… She was sorry for letting you fall for her first, even more apologetic for falling for you harder but never wanting to admit it, knowing it just made things more complicated.
Letting your eyes drift back to her, you watch curiously at the way she stares at her wedding ring, her undecipherable gaze soon switching to exhaustion and annoyance at the sound of a male voice calling her name, interrupting your moment as her eyes flicker to you, trying to savour the last bit of comfort your presence provided.
“Wanda, can you come and serve dinner now?” Vision called from the patio door, his impatient mood evident in his voice as he asked for his wife’s services, the woman in front of you sighing despondently, knowing she had to go back to the life she told herself she needed.
“I have to go now,” she murmurs before offering you a small, forced smile, your body wanting to reach over the fence and grab her hand, to give her some sort of comfort but you stopped yourself, knowing you’d be crossing too many boundaries.
“Wait,” you say, halting her once more as she turns back to face you, clearly reluctant to go inside. “I know it’s not my place to say anything but I’m here for you Wanda,” your voice is tender and soft, wanting her to know that despite everything you still cared for her, earning an appreciative and gentle smile in return, the prominent ache in your chest lifting at the sight of it as she holds your gaze, losing herself in your caring eyes.
“Thank you,” she whispers before turning around a final time, leaving you standing in your garden with a small, familiar warmth wrapping around your heart, the idea of slowly being able to mend your broken bond causing the corner of your lifts to tug up into a small, hopeful smile. 
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exactlyyoungchaos · 5 months
Text
Loss of my life.
(ex) husband Simon X f!Reader
Part 2.
CW: divorce, hurt, angst, mentions of emotional cheating, trauma. let me know if I missed any, enjoy!!!!
(Don't mind the mistakes.)
If you know it in one glimpse, it's legendary
You and I go from one kiss to gettin married
Still alive, killing time at the cemetery
Nobody prepares you for something like this. What do you do when someone you loved more than your own life, rips apart your soul in pieces? What do you do when the one person you trusted your heart with, leaves you to gather scraps of whatever is left of it?
It's been months since that day. The day you found out that the man you love loved someone else. You moved out the next day, he didn't try and stop you, didn't try to argue or make you stay, he just stood in the corner and watched as you packed up your whole life in a suitcase and left.
When your lawyer served him divorce papers, he didn't hesitate. he signed it immediately as if he was trying to get rid of you, or maybe he was. you don't know, you don't know anything anymore.
When you were young, you were scared to be in relationships because the idea of trusting somebody with everything and giving them the power to hurt you was ridiculous. you always thought love was a sham, just something for romance books and movies.
it was when you met Simon you realized it was all real. the chemical reaction inside your brain that makes you want to stay with someone forever. Laughing at their stupid jokes, waking up next to them, love them was all real. Or maybe it wasn't.
now all you recall, was how you almost had it all. how it all just slipped from your hands without warning.
maybe it was your fault. maybe you weren't enough. maybe you didn't know how to love properly, maybe you were unlovable.
maybe, maybe, maybe.......
Or perhaps it was a sign that a prophecy in your name had already been written. you are not meant for love, you were sent here to be alone, to be betrayed by whoever you trust, to be unworthy. so others would know what not to be.
You sat on the bed of your new apartment, looking at your wedding ring that was still on your finger. you couldn't get yourself to take it off. your heart wasn't ready to accept what your brain already knew.
You couldn't cry anymore, your tears were gone, and all that was left was a deep ache of loss in your chest.
Why? Why did he do this to you? why did he make those vows when he never meant to keep them? you wanted answers, that you knew you'd never get.
If your parents saw you in this state, they would be ashamed of you. you're ashamed of yourself. you can't eat, you can't get out of your bed, because something counterfeits dead.
The house you once called home is haunted by the ghost of lies and deceit. How long has it been going on? how many times did you lay with him in your bed and he wished it was her instead of you?
You were driving yourself crazy. Day by day you were losing your sanity as you combed through your whole life trying to find where it all went wrong.
you've been getting calls from your friends, and messages that you keep ignoring. What were you going to tell them? They bought his lies too.
He said forever and you bought it.
And the worst part is, you miss him. You miss your life, how it used to be filled with laughter, love, and light with him. How he used to hold you when you broke down. How he caressed you when you were in pain, how he made love to you.
Now you're sitting in a cold, dark, and empty apartment on another continent, you don't know who to call and ask for help.
All of your things remind you of him. Do you throw all of the things you built together or keep it? you were tired, mending your gashes on your own. He dealt a final blow and left you to deal with it.
And he doesn't care. He's already with her. he already replaced you. Nothing you two had was real.
But then why do you feel like dying? Why was it that you can't feel anything anymore? Is this how it will always be? Will you ever be okay enough to want to live?
all of these were very big questions you weren't ready to ask yet, or maybe you never will be.
you needed a distraction and you needed it fast.
you picked up your phone for the first time in the day and went straight to the one person you knew who could give you a reprieve from yourself.
Laswell.
You felt numb as you dialed her number as if a switch had been turned off in your brain. She picked up on the third ring.
"Sparrow,"
She still called you by your code name. Your first team that you were assigned to as a rookie medic gave it to you.
"I need a job," is all you said.
AN: SOOOOO!! DID WE LIKE IT? THOTS? I might have shed a tear or two writing this. don't mind me.
@ssc7514 @rrtxcmt
If you want to be tagged in the next part do tell me.
Until next time sugarplums.
ALI-💋💋💋
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miirohs · 7 months
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kiss me more [c.s]
pairing: Choi San x GN!Reader wc: 0.7k cw: n/a an: i blame nyx (@yangkitties) and choi san for these fuckass ideas haunting my brain… live laugh love ateez yall
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“Baby.”
You hummed in response, despite your eyes never straying from your mirror.
Once again you applied the red lipstick, frowning at how it looked on you. It didn’t look quite right. 
“Baby?” 
“Did you call me-“ You started, pausing for a moment as Sans’ arms curled around your waist, his face settling in the crook of your neck. “San?”
“What’s taking so long? Are you okay?” He questioned, leaning on your back as he gave your bag a curious look, looking at the products littered across your bed.
“I’m fine, Sannie.” You sighed, slightly agitated as you slammed the lid of the lipstick on the bottle.
“No, you’re not,” He murmured, grabbing it from you and turning you around to him. His dark eyes peered into yours, holding all sorts of affection towards you even as you actively shoved him away. You could’ve sworn staring at him forever would’ve solved all your problems.
“Can you tell me what’s wrong, please?” He looked at you, a slight pout forming as his lips.  “Nothing is going right for me today,” You sighed, picking up the tube and holding it up to his face, “this little shit isn’t working like it should and i really liked it.” 
“Is that so?” He chuckled, taking it from your hand and gently shaking it. “Bad lipstick!”
You gave him a small smile as he handed it back to you, a grin on his face as if he was wholly satisfied with having abused the small object in his hand. “Are you feeling better now?” He asked, leaning into your space once again.
“A little,” You admitted, rolling the tube in your hand, “I can’t quite tell what's going wrong though.”
“Look at me real quick baby?” His hands grabbed your face, bringing you closer to him. You could almost feel his lips on yours, closing your eyes as he ran a thumb over your cheekbone comfortingly.
“I have an idea that could help you fix it.” You gave him a curious look. “Kiss me as many times as it takes and I'll help you reapply if it doesn’t look good in the end?” He offered, head tilted as you opened your eyes in shock, gaping at him.
“San? I’d basically be-” He hushed you, bringing your hand up to his own face, warmth spreading through your fingers. “I said it’s okay, why are you hesitating?”
You nodded weakly, getting up. 
Standing between his legs, you leaned into him as he pushed up on his hands, unflinching as you got closer. He tilted his head as you got close, heart squeezing as he looked you square in the eyes.
“I think you look even more beautiful up close,” He cooed, scrunching his nose up as you pressed down on the bridge, leaving a bold red imprint behind. “I think that’s enough, don’t you?” You blushed, looking away as he gave you a mischievous smile. “No, I still think there’s some left… why don't you kiss me a little more baby?”
Cringing, you peppered his face in kisses as he sat there patiently, leaning into your touch with a proud look on his face.
“You… you look ridiculous,” You said, stifling laughter at his puzzled expression once you finally got a good look.
“You were supposed to tell me I look amazing,” A pout settled onto his lips again as he tilted his head at you, lipstick marking up almost every corner of his face. You could see how it lit up his face, happiness in his eyes as he watched you move around him.
“You know, it doesn’t look half bad,” You said, rubbing some of the smudged product away.
He didn’t respond, too busy memorizing the look on your face, taking in everything.
“Hold on,” He said, forcing you to pause as he pulled you into his lap, “You have a little something… right here.”
He ran his thumb over the corner of your lips, leaving a soft kiss where his fingertips had traced, following a path down to the column of your throat.
“Hey Sannie,” You hummed, looking up at him, “Can I have another one?” 
“Another what?” He answered in response, acting oblivious.
“You know what it is!” You groaned as he wiggled his eyebrows at you, completely unserious. You’d have to drag it out of him.
“Fine, but it might ruin your-“
“Oh just shut up and kiss me already.”
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novaursa · 8 days
Text
The Last Flight
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- Summary: You go to Dorne instead of your sister Rhaenys. And you never come back.
- Paring: sister!reader/Aegon I Targaryen
- Note: This short story covers one of possible endings of The Broken Crown series.
- Rating: Mature 16+
- Tag(s): @sachaa-ff @alyssa-dayne @oxymakestheworldgoround @fiction-fanfic-reader @fireandblood-mharmie @poisonedsultana
- A/N: You want another scenario? Let me know.
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The scorching heat of Dorne clings to your skin, the sun a burning coin suspended high in the azure sky. The wind carries with it the dry, acrid scent of sand, yet beneath you, there is power—an unrelenting force. Tesaerix, your magnificent golden and cream dragon, moves effortlessly through the air, her deep red eyes scanning the terrain below. You feel her muscles ripple beneath your thighs as she soars above the arid wasteland, the pride of your House and the symbol of your strength. Her scales shimmer in the sun, the blood-red undertones flashing like molten fire beneath her brilliant hide.
Your thoughts are consumed by Aegon. You can feel the weight of his presence, even when he is miles away. His absence is a shadow in your heart, a constant reminder of your duty you accepted with time, not only as his wife, his queen, but as his sister. You are bound to him in ways no one else will ever understand. And now, as you carry his second child within you, the bond feels even deeper, even more unbreakable.
The Dornish, however, are not so easily subdued. Even now, beneath the beauty of the clouds and sky, you know they scheme. They have always been the most defiant, and as much as you admire their resolve, you cannot allow it to stand. Your mind drifts to the days of battle yet to come, to the throne you and Aegon are building together, stone by stone, blood by blood.
But then—suddenly—Tesaerix stiffens beneath you, her wings faltering for just a fraction of a second. You feel the tremor run through her powerful frame, an emotion you had never associated with her before: fear. Your hand grips the reins tighter, your body leaning forward instinctively. Something is wrong.
And then you hear it.
The sharp, mechanical twang of a scorpion ballista firing, followed by the deafening roar that reverberates from Tesaerix’s throat, echoing through the sky like the crack of thunder. A bolt of dark metal tears through the air, faster than you can blink. It pierces Tesaerix’s left eye, burrowing deep into the vibrant red that once glowed with ferocity. Her scream of agony is a sound that will haunt you forever in the afterlife, shaking your very soul. You can feel the shockwave of her pain radiate through your bond, filling your mind with white-hot anguish.
“Tesaerix!” you scream, your voice lost in the howling wind. She convulses beneath you, her massive wings faltering, her graceful flight collapsing into chaos. She spirals downward, her roars now guttural, filled with unending torment. The wind tears at your hair and clothing as the ground rushes toward you both. You grasp desperately at the reins, but it is useless. The beast that was once the queen of the skies, unstoppable and unbowed, is now at the mercy of gravity and death.
You feel her strength waning, her fire dimming. She struggles to keep you aloft, her wings beating sluggishly, a far cry from the power they once held. She has always protected you, shielded you, but now... she is dying, and there is nothing you can do to save her. Your heart shatters, not only for her but for the life inside you, for the child that will never know the world you fought to create.
The last thing you see before the ground rises to meet you is the faint glimmer of Tesaerix’s blood-red scales flashing in the sun, her body contorting as she crashes into the earth. And then, everything is fire and darkness.
Pain explodes through your body as you hit the ground with a force that knocks the air from your lungs. The impact shatters your bones, but it is the silence that follows that is the most terrifying. The bond you shared with Tesaerix, the link that had always thrummed with life, is severed. There is no heartbeat in your mind, no flicker of her presence. She is gone, and with her, your world unravels.
You try to move, try to reach out, but your body betrays you. Blood fills your mouth, the taste of iron sharp on your tongue. You can feel the life slipping away, faster than you ever imagined it would. Your hand instinctively moves to your belly, to the child within, but even that small motion is agony. Tears sting your eyes as you realize there will be no future for them. Aegon’s son or daughter will never be born.
Your thoughts drift to him, to your king, your husband, your brother. You wonder if he will feel it, the moment your life leaves your body, if he will know that his child is lost. You can see his face in your mind, the steely resolve that always made you feel safe. You want to tell him you love him, that you fought until the very end, that you died with your dragon by your side. But the words are lost in the blood that bubbles in your throat.
The sky above you dims as the world around you fades. You are alone now, alone with the silence of the dead, and the heat of Dorne’s relentless sun beating down on you.
With a final, shuddering breath, you close your eyes and surrender to the darkness.
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The sun had begun its slow descent when Aegon received the news. He stood at the edge of the war table, his hand resting lightly on the hilt of Blackfyre, his ever-present symbol of command and power. But in that moment, the weight of the blade seemed insignificant, a mere tool in a world that had suddenly lost all sense.
A raven had come from Dorne, its message blunt and brutal, stripped of all the delicate lies courtiers usually crafted to soften blows. Tesaerix had fallen. She had fallen.
Your name was written on that small, crumpled piece of parchment, but it was as if he couldn’t comprehend it, as if it were not real. His mind swam, drowning in confusion, in denial. You—his sister, his queen, his love—were gone. The child you carried, his unborn son or daughter, gone with you.
For a moment, the world fell silent, save for the relentless beating of his heart, pounding in his chest like a war drum, louder and louder until it consumed everything else. His grip tightened around the edge of the table, knuckles turning white as the world blurred before his eyes.
Visenya and Rhaenys were there, though he barely noticed them at first. Visenya stood stoic, her sharp, regal face as unreadable as ever, though her eyes betrayed her. There was a glint there, something unspoken. She felt the loss too, he knew, but she didn’t speak. Visenya rarely needed words to convey the force of her presence. Rhaenys, on the other hand, had tears in her eyes, her lips parted as though she wanted to say something, anything, that would take away his pain. But nothing came.
He slammed his fist down on the table, sending maps and markers scattering to the floor. The room seemed to close in around him, suffocating. His vision darkened at the edges, a storm brewing in his chest, too fierce to be contained. Aegon, the Conqueror, the man who had never faltered, had never broken—was crumbling.
"How?" he finally rasped, his voice cracking in a way it never had before. He demanded answers from the silence, but there was no one left to give them.
Rhaenys stepped forward, her soft hand reaching for his, but he pulled away sharply, the touch unbearable. It was as if his very skin recoiled from the comfort, the warmth he could no longer feel. He didn’t want her pity, her gentle reassurances. They meant nothing. How could they, when you were gone?
"She... she died bravely, brother," Rhaenys said, her voice thick with sorrow. "She fell with her dragon—"
"Do not speak of her bravery to me!" Aegon roared, his voice filled with a fury that silenced even the birds outside. "She was my wife, my queen. I should have been there. I should have protected her!"
Visenya’s calm mask finally cracked. "Aegon, there was nothing you could have—"
"Enough!" he shouted, his chest heaving with each breath. The words felt hollow, empty. No matter what his sisters said, the guilt gnawed at him, tearing him apart from within. He should have known the dangers. He should have been with you, should have flown by your side. The image of you—falling, lost, dying with Tesaerix—flashed before his eyes. It was unbearable.
He turned his back to them both, his hands trembling as they hovered over the hilt of Blackfyre once more. It would be so easy to lash out, to let the sword take away this unrelenting agony. To cut down those who had taken you from him.
"I will burn them," he whispered, his voice cold, deadly. "All of them."
Visenya and Rhaenys exchanged a glance, but neither dared to argue. They had seen this side of him before—the part of him that was not just king, not just conqueror, but something darker, something ancient. The dragon that slept within him had awoken, and it hungered for vengeance.
Aegon turned, his eyes burning with unshed tears, yet blazing with the intensity of dragonfire. "Dorne will pay," he said, the words venomous. "I will rain fire upon them until their deserts turn to glass. Every man, woman, and child who had a hand in this... they will know my wrath. No one will escape it. I swear it."
Rhaenys, always the one to temper his fire, reached for him again. "Aegon, vengeance will not—"
"Do not speak of mercy to me, Rhaenys," he snapped, his gaze cold, distant. "I will hear no more of it. They took her. They took my child." His voice cracked again, and this time, it broke something in him. He sank to his knees, the weight of it all too much to bear.
For the first time in his life, Aegon Targaryen, the dragonlord, the Conqueror, wept. His shoulders shook, his hands gripping the cold stone of the floor as if it were the only thing keeping him tethered to the world. Visenya knelt beside him, her hand on his shoulder, but even her presence could not reach him now.
He had lost you, and in losing you, he had lost a part of himself. His sisters could not comfort him, for there was no comfort to be had. There was only the aching void where you had once been.
And in that void, only one truth remained. The fire of vengeance would consume him, just as it would consume Dorne. He would not rest, not until the ones responsible had been reduced to nothing but ashes and bone.
The dragons would fly, and the world would burn for what they had done to you.
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mothtral · 3 months
Text
to you, the rain had not stopped rising since geshu lin disappeared. most would tell you at this point, to try and move on. that you'd planted a flower--the first flower--in the field jiyan made, so didn't that mean you'd accepted it, at least a little bit?
you hadn't. you won't accept he's gone until some trace of him was found. his necklace, the one you made for him before he left you behind the first time to head for the front lines. scraps of the armor that covered his arm.
jiyan used to approach you, in the beginning. though well-versed enough in consoling people in grief to not push you until you were ready. jiyan never told you, but it wasn't hard to figure you weren't the only one who would see geshu lin whenever it rained.
(though, you have a feeling what he sees is a different geshu lin to yours.)
you weren't part of the midnight rangers, or work for the magistrate. you meeting geshu lin was by chance, or fate, as yangyang used to say. you were a small seller, taking up crafting jewelry or fashioning clothing from scraps of fabric and yarn. it was during a large market that the midnight rangers returned home to, years ago.
that was the night you met geshu lin. you didn't know who he was at first, apart from clearly being a member of the military. it was something geshu lin would tease you about, unaware that the big bad general was haunting your doorstep. he was heavily bandaged, with scars covering the slips of skin you could see.
you crafted him a set of earrings after urging him to choose the beads he liked best, and sent him on his way, refusing to take his money. you said it was thanks for protecting the city. the next day there was a welcoming ceremony, and you nearly fainted once you discovered just who you met the night before.
and somehow, it carried on from there. little meetings and small gifts between you two. one late night you showed geshu lin how you made your jewelry, and woke up the next day to him sliding a ring onto your finger, something he spent the entire night on. the crown jewel was from the original earrings you made him.
you hadn't taken it off. the only change was that you wear it on a chain now, scared it might slip off your finger when you weren't paying attention one day and it's lost forever. just like--
today was the anniversary of geshu lin disappearing, and no one has done anything. you knew popular opinion these days is that he got what he deserved, refusing to fall back. as if these people knew what the midnight rangers went through everyday, with the limited knowledge on retroact rain back then.
the celebrations today are for the other rangers that fell that day, and it planted a bitter root in your heart. you hid in your home that day, waiting until the flower field was deserted to visit. you won't pay your respects, as everyone else did. instead, you will sit with the flower you planted and watch the stars, something you did every time geshu lin came home.
(something else jiyan never said, biy you knew once a certain time hit, he would usher people away from the field to give you a moment alone. whatever you did to gain a friend like that, you'd never know.)
there's a watering can set to the side, and you take it to gently trickle water onto geshu lin's flower. you were about to start with your ramblings of the day, when soft footsteps crept toward you.
"come to finally join me?" you asked over your shoulder, assuming it was jiyan making his way to you.
"yes," an achingly familiar voice said, low and rough, like it hasn't been used in years, like it's been torn apart from screaming.
your head snaps up as your body twisted around, almost falling over into the grass. there, standing at the edge of the field, was the man that stole your heart and disappeared into the rain with it. but... something is wrong.
maybe it was the strange light in his eyes, or the heavy air that surrounded him like a second skin. his clothes traded from the standard black with accents to gain red and white, and his arm almost tucked behind him, like he was a child trying to hide the vase he broke. this was not the same man that left for battle and never returned. "i'm sorry it took so long for me to come home," geshu lin said. he took a step closer, and it was then that you saw what became of his arm. it had turned to blacken scales, glimmering in the starlight. purple glowed from the cracks, like his ability couldn't turn off. "i never meant to leave you alone. i'm home."
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loveindefinitely · 8 months
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༊*·˚ FOREVER WINTER (IF YOU GO) — task force 141 x reader
09 — I'M HIGHER THAN THE HOPES THAT YOU BROUGHT DOWN
featuring. simon 'ghost' riley + johnny 'soap' mactavish + kyle 'gaz' garrick + john 'bravo six' price + (non-endgame phillip graves)
warnings. nsfw, fem!reader, fmmmm, enemies to lovers, slow burn, polyamory, ghostsoap, pricegaz, alerudy, heavy angst, requited unrequited love, graphic violence
series masterlist. read on ao3. read on wattpad. fanfic playlist.
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When you had taken down the organisation by Shepherd’s side, it was the beginning of everything.
The first time you had drawn someone else’s blood was with a rifle in your hand and a vengeance burning in your veins. A single order from your General – your only support – to kill anyone with the organisation’s uniform. Anyone who raised a scope to you.
It’s difficult, usually, to remember what had happened. 
Sometimes, in your deepest of sleeps, the nightmares of your past came to haunt you. Flashes of blood on your skin, corpses underneath your feet, the crackle of a radio sounding in an empty room.
A congratulations from your General.
Congratulations for seeking revenge, and executing it like a soldier well-trained. Another cog in the military’s rusting machine. A weapon for them, more than a human with free will and determination.
You’d thrown up, after it all.
Heaving, sweating, crying, the endless guilt of what you’d just done. Were you no better than them? Sure, they’d killed your mother, but you had just carried out the same in turn. Tenfold. They had families that they’d never report back to. Families that they’d never get to say goodbye to. Dinner left untouched.
Shepherd had pat your back – then, he’d been in service, active duty. You hadn’t known it, but taking down the organisation was his last mission.
You never even learnt the name of the organisation. Shepherd had said that it was better that way, to detach yourself, not get yourself muddled with the logistics of it all. You weren’t meant for that. You were meant for weaponry and death and destruction.
That night, when you laid awake in the small camp set-up just a few klicks out from the organisation's site, you determined that you wouldn’t take another’s life without certainty. Unless it was for defence.
That night, you’d known that you would ask to be trained for field medicine.
Oh, how naive you had been. Young, aching for a chance to get revenge, to get what you felt you deserved.
Ten days later, you met one Phillip Graves.
A day after that, he offered you a place within the beginning of his mercenary company.
Half an hour after you signed the contract, General Shepherd announced that he was no longer suitable for active duty.
How naive indeed.
*
You think, in the very back of your mind, with the smallest grip you have on thought, that you’ve been carried to safety by men more than you have in your life, these past few days.
In and out, your mind wavers, senses completely gone, consciousness an impossible thing.
Minutes, hours, days. You’re not sure. How does time even work? What is time? Are you alive? Is this death? Another third, universally unknown state, an in between?
These past few days, the utter mess your life has become, has it finally worn you out? Destroyed you from the inside, shrapnel embedded into your flesh? A direct hit, a ticking time bomb gone wrong? A suicide mission with no preparation, no warning, no hope?
If you could, you’d cry.
Let tears fall down your cheeks, crystalline and pure against your dirtied and sinful skin. A mocking of all things good and right and beautiful.
Oh to be beautiful. To be right. To be good.
Heaven would taste like fairy floss melting against your tongue, you think. Sweet and pink and soft. It would furl around your tongue, season your mouth with the feeling of cotton and freedom.
White.
White blinds every inch of your body, the darkness of your eyelids lit with the shade. Chemicals fill the air, a stagnant, all too damning smell. Beeping, too, a constant background noise as you slowly come to.
Hospital – or, at the very least, a Med Bay. It’s something quite familiar, but the feeling of being a patient in one is a very rare instance for you.
That feeling of blood, sticky against your face and arm, has gone. Instead, the itch of fabric and bandage replaces it, an IV drip attached to your inner arm an annoying sting. Your hair feels as if it’s been carefully spread over the pillow underneath your head, a blanket wrapped over your form.
If your spatial awareness is at all correct, you think you can sense a few other people in the room, too. Soft murmuring chimes in over the beeping, now, as you return to full consciousness.
“Can’t believe all three of ‘em are down.”
Gaz – that honey-esque, smooth voice instantly has you recognising the Sergeant. From where his voice is coming from, he seems to be sat beside your bed. 
“It’s not your fault, Kyle.”
Price. Captain. He sounds… softer than you’ve ever heard him. Lost, maybe, upset. Disappointed? It’s hard to place, his tone, but it seems almost forlorn.
“Had a whole fuckin’ team of Marines and we couldn’t make it to ‘im in time. If it wasn’t for her–”
“I know, Sergeant,” Price snaps, shutting down the younger man’s nervous, distressed rambling. A scrape of a chair sounds, the sound of pacing footfalls a moment later. “There wasn’t anything we could do – and it’s not like any of ‘em are dying, now are they?”
“Don’t act like this didn’t affect you either, Captain,” Gaz bites back in return, his chair, too, scraping against the linoleum floor. “I heard your yell clear as day.”
“I can and will write you up for insubordination, Garrick,” Price warns, stern and cold.
Gaz’s responding laugh is biting, grating. “No, you won’t, Price. Because if you do that, you’ll have to report the others too. You really wanna risk losing us all?”
“Don’t test me.”
“Thought you liked that about me, Cap.”
“Kyle –”
“Good morning to you, too.”
Both men turn, then, to look at you with wide eyes. With a small groan, you move to sit up, eyes burning with the sudden overhead lights. Your shoulder aches, your cheek, too, but not as badly as they had before.
“Be careful, don’t –” Gaz goes to say, moving towards you, before you show him your palm.
“I’m fine. I know my limits, Gaz,” you say, a small reprimand as you shift into a comfortable position. “I’ll be out of this bed within the hour if I can help it.”
“You dislocated your shoulder,” Price says, insistent, brows furrowed as he looks down at you, arms folded over his chest. “It’s in a wrap. You’re lucky, Colonel, that they could perform the surgery here.”
Your brows raise.
“Surgery? How long was I out?” You frantically ask, sitting up straighter, wincing when you bump your shoulder. Your mind races with theories, fear trickling down your spine like a cold vice. There was so much you had to do – had to investigate, now.
“Only about a day. You were under anaesthesia – and your body near shut down,” Gaz leans forward as he sits, elbows on his knees. “You were awake, under high-intensity stress, for nearly four days.”
Four days? Had it really been that long? What had only felt like a day – it had been four?
You must show your inner panic on your face, because Price takes a step closer, hand moving to rest comfortably on your shoulder. He has a calming, understanding tilt to his lips that you appreciate. His eyes examine your body, before his blue eyes meet yours.
“Graves is already planning his next movement,” he says, gruff and true. His hand squeezes. “We were playing checkers, seems like he wants to play chess.”
The beep of the machines sat beside your bed and the overall feeling of hospital and gauze and injury has you realising something. A flash in the back of your mind, a bell ringing for you like a dog on a leash.
“Where’s Soap and Ghost?”
Price and Gaz share a look, before Gaz flits a nervous grimace to you. “Ghost… refused to be treated unless he was put in the same room as Soap. Soap, is, well…”
“Get yer bloody hands off me, aye am fine, let me see ‘er–”
Soap’s voice carries down the hallway, the standard-issues curtains surrounding your small area doing nothing to block the sound. Your eyebrows shoot to your hairline, Gaz buries his face in his hands, and Price heaves a long-suffering sigh, muttering something under his breath about decorum.
“Sergeant, the doctor’s –”
“Tell Sarah tha’ aye can bloody well handle maself!”
A crashing noise follows the last statement, along with the sound of confused yelling, before the curtain surrounding you gets ripped open by none other than Soap MacTavish.
His grown-out faux-mohawk is messy, obviously having been laid on for a fair bit, his eyes wide and chest pounding in sweeping movements. Fist clenched in the scratchy fabric of the curtain, his frantic eyes focus on Price and Gaz, respectively, before landing on you. His shoulders loosen, and he lets go of the curtain as he trails down your form, analysing for any injuries or a single hair out of place.
“Sweetheart,” he breathes, sounding all too like that single nickname is a lifeline, “Yer alright.”
You softly shake your head, disbelieving and confused and shocked and. 
And maybe slightly grateful. Lucky, even, to have someone care for you enough to act like your very presence is their saviour. Like your blood is as worthy as their own, your lungs virtually theirs, too.
“I’m not the one that nearly fell to my death,” you exasperate, voice as soft and vulnerable as you’ve heard it. At the very least, the most open you’ve sounded since your mother was around. “Did you just kill one of the nurses to get here?”
Soap’s creeping smile turns into a full, toothy grin as he shakes his head. “Nah. That’d be Lt.”
“Fuckin’ hell,” Price mutters from beside you, along with Gaz’s choked off laugh. You can’t help your own private smirk.
“And here I was, thinking you were the dog, Soap,” you tease, except for the first time, it isn’t with the intention of goading. Of poking the beast. You’re… teasing just for fun. Because it feels natural and right and.
Oh.
Oh.
Soap scoffs. “Aye, ye did say that, didn’t ya? Ye haven’t seen a guard dog like Mr. Lt, lass,” He taunts, freckles dusting his nose, the hospital lights doing nothing to wash his tan skin out.
He says, as if your world hasn’t been flipped over, shaken about, and sat down on your shoulders like a snowglobe.
He says, as if everything is fine and normal and not cataclysmic.
“The nurse is fine.” 
Everyone, including Price, jolts where they are situated, eyes darting to where Ghost leans against the wall opposite your bed, picking at his nails.
He’s.
Unlike the balaclava, of which is all you’ve known of the bulky man, the only thing covering his features is a standard black medical mask, covering his mouth and nose. No ink stains the upper half of his face, either, and for the first time – you see his hair.
Dirty blond.
It oddly suits him, the shortly cut mess, the strands hanging over his forehead and ears. What strikes you is the lack of scars from the skin you can see, the unmarred skin, the softness of it. 
He’s pretty, in a rugged, unabashed way, and what a realisation that is.
With just a black compression shirt, sleeves cut to the mid-section of his upper arms, sleeves of talented ink cover his pale skin. A snake, intricately designed, covers his left, curving around the muscle. On his right, what looks to be a Greek god, its depth shadowed with blacks and greys.
“Good to see you in one piece, too, Lieutenant,” you say, and if it was at all possible, you’d swear that sparks shoot up your spine when his deep brown eyes catch onto yours. 
He raises an uncovered brow – pale and soft. “I meant what I said,” he threatens, a glint in his eye.
So, you suppose, not all has been forgiven. Your memories are shaky at best, but a few words stand out from your confrontation – kill, belonging, rank. A promise of death, but a vow of protection, too.
“What’re you talking about?” Gaz asks, looking between the two of you with a confused expression.
Neither you, nor Ghost, break eye contact as you simultaneously say; “Nothing, Gaz.”
Both Sergeants share a look, a cheeky one, the type that no one else in the room can decipher. You had seen the way that the two shared comments, winks, hits up the back of their heads. Joking and full of life, but with an unbreakable bond between them.
Yearning was becoming too familiar of a concept for you, you were finding.
“Laswell found a hit on some intel,” Price breaks the tension of the room, hands bracing on his knees as he looks to the four of you. A grim expression settles on his face when he looks to you. “It’s in the home of one of your Lieutenants.”
Your heart stutters in your chest as you swallow around a dry mouth. “What kind of intel?”
Everyone seems to collectively move in closer – Ghost’s hand rests at his belt, Soap’s at his back pocket, Gaz’s on the chain adorning his neck, a guitar pick attached to the gold.
“Intel on an ‘organisation’,” Price says. “A group of people wanting to overtake the military, one with a rising number of members.”
It’s as if you can feel nothing but the beat of your heart, the sensation of your fingers, the pain in your chest. The organisation. They were. You and Shepherd, you hadn’t eradicated them. Maybe stumped their growth, for a while, but you hadn’t.
You hadn’t realised they were still around. Growing, even, thriving.
The urge to just cry, pour out your emotions and weep is the strongest it’s been since your mother’s funeral. To just pull up the covers over your head and let tears fall down your cheeks, mourn in your misery, scream and claw at your skin and feel.
If only you could be that woman. Just for a day.
Instead, you reply.
“When are we going?”
Soap is, both surprisingly and unsurprisingly, the first one to speak up. His hands land on his hips as he studies you with a narrowed gaze. “Ye need to rest, lass. Yer broken.”
You throw your unwrapped hand in the air, waving in their general direction. “Have you guys seen yourselves? How the fuck you’re out of your gowns is almost crazier than you storming into here gunsablazing!”
“We didn’t get a concussion, a wound on our cheek, a dislocated bloody shoulder,” Ghost challenges, and your hackles rise in turn. When he gives, you return. The moon and the sun – the two of you, always taunting the other with a bone just to see if the other will bite.
“I saved your ass,” you seethe back, and with only a small wince, you pull the IV drip from your arm. If Price or Gaz debate that move, you ignore it. “And his. I don’t seem to recall hearing a single thank you, either.” You rise on shaky legs, pushing through the ache, pushing through the thunderstorm in your chest. You turn to Soap, “So don’t tell me what I can and can’t do,” you turn to Ghost, “And you don’t tell me what injuries deem me weaker! I’ve survived this long without the lot of you, and you don’t need to start babying me now.”
The silence in the room should dispel your nerves, but it only serves to increase them tenfold.
“We’ll scope out the area and decide what to do after. Five days ‘til we perform an undercover mission, I suspect.”
With a small tilt of your head, you look to Price, who rubs at his jaw, scratching at the hair lining it. He looks deep in thought – ever the calculating leader.
You sigh, quiet enough to not be heard. “Thank you, Captain.”
The wrapping around your set shoulder seems recently done, and when you move the ligament in small circles, the pain is nothing more than a dull ache. Your cheek, too, has been bandaged, but the sting is nothing if not prevalent.
Someone had spent the time putting socks on your feet, so you’re grateful for the small mercy as you move to the side table and swallow down mouthfuls of water from the plastic bottle placed there.
A thought comes to mind then.
“Where do I sleep? Or should I, um…” You trail off, because the idea of finding a shoddy motel in the middle of nowhere is definitely not a pleasant one.
Silence.
Slowly turning around, bottle in hand, your brows furrow when you see that none of them are meeting your eyes. Even Ghost, which is most definitely a first.
“Are you banishing me? Worried I have cooties?” You tease, bouncing on the soles of your feet. When no one responds again, you truly start to worry. “That was a joke,” you confirm, as if they didn’t know that.
“There’s no spare rooms,” Gaz blurts out, and your eyes go wide.
Of all the things that had briefly crossed your mind, a lack of space was most certainly not one of them. The consequences of that fact is the next thing to be brought to the forefront of your muddled ideas.
“Right,” Soap nods, as if this is a newly found concept. He gestures to Gaz, a smile creeping onto his face. “Thanks for offering to let ‘er crash with ya, lad.”
“I didn’t say that –” Gaz starts, expression slowly creeping into one of exasperation as Price interrupts with a slap to the Sergeant’s shoulder.
“Real generous, Garrick,” Price commends, moving to stand from his chair and leave the room. Ghost follows closely behind him, shooting a look between you and Kyle, simply saying, “Thanks, Sergeant.”
“You’ve got to be joking,” Gaz groans, head falling against the chair backing as he slides down the wood. Soap is quick to bound away from the room, too, with a cheerful, ‘See you tomorrow!’.
Gaz, eyes squeezed shut, seeming to try and melt into the floor, flutters one eye open to look at you where you stand. He grimaces, before slowly getting to his feet, too.
“Sorry for,” you bite at your lip, looking everywhere but at the man who seems to want to die more than host you, “Being a nuisance. Really, I’m fine sleeping at a motel, or whatever. Seriously.”
His hand grasps your chin, moving it so you’re forced to look up at him, his analysing gaze searching your own. The brown of his eyes glisten in the bright light, his features shining with it, and you’re hit with an overwhelming want to be cherished by this man. 
How bad had your concussion really been, to be making you think this way? You should really talk to Sarah about it, ask what kind of side effects came with one.
Oddly enough, you don’t think that this realisation is as sudden as you’re forcing yourself to believe.
“I didn’t,” Gaz begins, quickly looking away and setting his jaw before meeting your eyes once more, “I didn’t mean it like that. Just. Embarrassing, y’know?”
“How? Got a secret collection of pornos you don’t want me finding?” You quip back, a soft tilt to your lips.
He chuckles, a soft, girthy thing, shaking his head. “Nah. Nothin’ like that. Just… havin’ a girl in my room on such short notice is a bit scary. Gonna kill them all when I see ‘em tomorrow,” he mutters the last few words under his breath.
“I really am sorry,” you promise, “I didn’t realise that I’d have to impose on you like this.”
“You’re not imposing,” Gaz says, stern, thumb brushing along your jawline. “My bed should be big enough, anyways.”
Your cheeks heat at the implication, mouth opening and closing around nothing. “Your – Your bed? I can just sleep on the floor –”
“No,” he interrupts, shaking your head side to side softly. “If anything, I’ll crash on the floor if you’re uncomfortable. I won’t let you sleep on anything but my bed.”
“Such a gentleman,” you lean in, whispering the words over his lips, a smirk forming on your face as you pull back. Heading for the door, you miss the way his fingers raise to hover over his mouth, gaze flitting to you before he follows behind.
“Do I need to see Sarah? The only reason I was really in there was ‘cause I was passed out, right?” You ask, turning around as Gaz meets you, opening the door for you to walk through. His hand falls to the small of your back as he directs you down the hallways.
He shakes his head. “Nah, Price messaged ‘er. If your pain starts up again, just take some pain meds or see her.”
“I like the way you run things here,” you hum, looking around at the concrete walls and linoleum floors, barren of personality. “No wasting time or resources.”
A draft carries down the hall, and you find yourself rubbing your arm, biting at your lower lip from the cold. Gaz’s hand wraps around your waist, pulling you into his body heat subtly, and you’re silently grateful. “I’ll give you some of my spare clothes to sleep in,” he says, thumb rubbing against where his hand sits in tight circles.
Your stomach growls, then, and you can hardly find the energy to be embarrassed when you haven’t eaten in four days. Yikes.
“Sorry –”
“I made you. Um.” Gaz looks away, bringing up his other hand to rub at the nape of his neck nervously. “I made you some wraps to eat, because the guys love ‘em, and Price kept getting pulled into meetings. So.”
The smile that pulls at your cheeks burns as you softly say, “Thank you.”
His grip around your waist tightens, the smallest amount.
You don’t comment.
“While you change, I’ll go get them from the fridge,” he says, as the two of you pause outside a standard door. The barracks look the same as every other corridor in this base, you’ve found, three other doors sitting close to this one. The 141’s rooms.
Unlocking the door, he switches on the light, and as you step in, you look around at the small room.
A double bed, narrow but long, sits in the corner next to a small window. Next to it, a wooden bedside table, with photos atop it, and a few random medals and gum wrappers. A single poster is stuck to the wall – and as soon as you see it, a laugh bubbles up in your chest.
“What?” Gaz asks, looking through his chest of drawers, looking to you with flushed cheeks. “It isn’t that bad.”
Your laughs continue, racking your body with each inhale as you point to the poster, eyes watery as you look at the man. “Didn’t realise you were into the Spice Girls, Garrick.”
He shoves his clothes into your face, only making you double over with laughter. 
“It was from my mum,” he grumbles, and you grab for his cheeks, squeezing them as your eyes near-shut with the manic laughter bubbling from you.
“Mama’s boy,” you tease, pulling at his cheeks until he’s face level. He huffs, pushing you away with a hand to your jaw, making more giggles erupt from your chest. “It’s cute, Gaz, I’m not being mean, pinky promise.”
“I’m getting the wraps, you twat,” he tries to sound accusatory, but his dimples deepen in his cheeks, his mouth pulling into a stubborn smile as he shoves you onto the bed, slamming the door shut behind him as he goes.
The fondness in your chest aches, and as you pull on his clothes, taking off the medical robe, you realise something. A niggling, in the back of your mind, one you can’t seem to shake as you tie off the oversized grey sweatpants around your waist.
A singular realisation, but a damning one, nonetheless.
Your smile doesn’t fade.
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