#and when i woke up this morning i had this weird urge to check the google reviews again

[paingoes]

Rubies

Check In

this is the most living weapon its gotten in a while

(Content: living weapon whumpee, recovery, conditioning, past abuse, guilt, emotional whump, death mention)

Delta rolled over in the bed. He didn’t startle so much when he woke up anymore; the room had become familiar. Even weeks later, he still slept much more there than he ever had on the Thorn. He was still so tired all the time. They’d said it was okay for him to rest. He was grateful for that.

The only issue was how disoriented it made him. He didn’t know what time it was when he awoke, but the sky outside was bright and airy. He slowly rose up, about to brush his hair out of his face when he remembered it wasn’t there anymore. So weird.

He cracked open the bedroom door, doing his best to keep quiet. It was a force of habit. He slipped out into the hallway.

Levon was standing in the kitchen.

Delta dropped as soon as his eyes fell on him. Before Levon could even get a word out, he’d already gotten onto the floor, bowed down about as low as he could get.

He didn’t hear Kitty approach, but she was at his side soon enough, gently urging him off of the ground. He almost fought her. He didn’t want to. He reluctantly stood up, but he could not bring himself to look up. In his periphery, Levon leaned back against the kitchen counter. 

“Good morning, Delta.” He was unperturbed by the display, not upset with him for standing, as deeply wrong as it felt to do it.

It was the first time he’d said his name. Delta paid careful attention to the way he’d handled it. No contempt. No anger. 

Apollo stood back against the stove, staring daggers at Levon. He dropped the expression just as soon as he was caught doing it, but the discontent was still written across his face. A few bags were laid out on the counter.

Kitty’s hand still hung loosely in his own from where she’d picked him up off the ground. He found himself gripping it a little tighter. She bumped into him, nuzzling a bit like she was trying to mark her scent on him. He was already wearing her jacket.

“Thought I’d drop in to see how things are going. I brought you some clothes and some groceries. I’d have stopped by early, but I’ve been a bit preoccupied lately.” 

Something changed in Levon’s voice on those last few syllables. Nobody else would have noticed, but Delta had become adept at measuring people’s emotions. Finding their tipping points. It’d been a matter of survival.

He resisted the urge to drop to the floor again. He wouldn’t beg for forgiveness. He didn’t deserve it. But he was sorry. He knew what preoccupied meant.

“Things are going fine.” Apollo’s tone didn’t betray any of his enmity. “Maybe you’d like to give him a minute to get his bearings? He just woke up.”

“I’m okay,” Delta said weakly, surprising himself. Surprising them, clearly. 

He clamped his hand over his mouth just as quickly. He hadn’t been given permission to speak, not in front of Levon. He wouldn’t have normally. He didn’t like to object, but he had an override: Levon didn’t need to give him anything.

“It won’t be long.” Levon rested his elbows against the counter. “You’ll have the rest of the day to yourself, I promise. Just a talk.”

“Yes, sir,” Delta confirmed cautiously, since he hadn’t been punished for speaking the first time. 

Kitty leaned closer against him. Out of the corner of his eye, he caught her wink.

~

They went outside. Levon had obviously wanted to talk alone, but was not so audacious as to kick Apollo out of his own house. Delta pulled on a pair of blue and white tennis shoes he’d recovered from the den before stepping out into the morning light. He hadn’t come out to this side of the house yet, certainly hadn’t ventured as far as the dirt road that led up to it. 

Levon’s ship was parked in the yard, nearly the same size as the house. It was a bright, electric purple, reflecting the sunlight out at harsh angles. His leather boots paced unbothered through the grass of the yard, getting dust on their edges as he walked out into the road. Delta followed after him. It was a bit hard to keep pace when Levon was so much taller. Levon slowed down to accommodate the difference.

It was warm out. Delta studied the trees of the forest around him — mostly Arecaceae. They were further South then he’d realized. Bright birds moved upwards in the canopy.

The wildlife was much easier to focus on than the figure beside him. He couldn’t help himself from tensing as Levon spoke.

“How’s your arm?” He cast a glance at the cast. Delta held it up for him, the way he would’ve under examination. If nothing else, Paris had at least made a clean break. It didn’t hurt much anymore. 

“It’s better. Thank you.” Delta blushed for some reason. It was hard to accept concern from Kitty or Apollo. It felt stranger coming from Levon. More taboo. He didn’t know why.

“You cut your hair,” Levon observed.

Delta flinched. 

“They…said I could,” he defended weakly. He shouldn’t have. He should’ve just left it alone, he didn’t know why he had even said anything in the first place. He started to apologize.

“No, it looks nice,” Levon said, “Lot less heavy, I’m sure.”

It was.

~

The road eventually led up to a tributary, which led up to a large lake. It was cooler by the edge of it; the wind carried off of the water.

“I wanted to check in to see if you were adjusting okay. I wanted to make sure that you were ready to come back,” Levon admitted, toeing at a stone with his boot. He cast Delta a sidelong glance. “Are you ready to come back?”

Delta stared at him blankly. Levon nodded; of course he didn’t know. Nobody had bothered to explain it to him. 

He passed him a smooth shaped stone. He didn’t know why. Gesture of moral support? Delta took it anyway.

“There’s going to be a trial. Nothing big. We just need to catch some of the council up to speed on your situation and establish a plan going forward.” He paused.

Delta had returned to staring at the ground. The thumb of his good hand turned anxiously over on the stone; he gave no other indication he was upset. Everything else remained perfectly neutral.

“This is only in the interest of security,” Levon tried to reassure him, “It won’t be punitive — though that may come up in conversation, nobody will go for it. I’d veto it before they could. I gave you my word that you wouldn’t be harmed and I mean that. Still…it may be a difficult experience for you. And your friends are concerned it may be too early.”

~

Delta blinked. They’d said that?

They’d been concerned about him. That strange, dull ache started up in his chest again. They’d defended him.

Not punitive, he’d said. Why not? He’d have deserved it. Amnesty was a promise they had made to him; it was never anything he had asked for. All he had wanted was to get out. Whatever they decided to do with him afterwards was beyond him. He’d have accepted it gladly. It was the least he deserved.

What plan, then?

The answer came to mind nearly before the question did. How best to utilize him. What targets to hit. How he’d need to be disciplined — not punished, disciplined — and how he’d need to be re-trained.

He’d do it. If Levon asked him to, he’d do it.

He thought of Lemuria. He thought, funnily enough, of the seagulls he’d once vaporized midair when they’d been in proximity of the target ship. What had the gull ever done wrong?

“I’ll go, sir,” he said, though he didn’t feel ready. By the end of the month, he’d be closer to it. He didn’t want to delay it. He didn’t want to be difficult.

“We’re still preparing,” Levon nodded, “You should be, too. It’d be nice to have a clearer view of what your desires are for the future. It’d give us something to work around. I don’t know if you’ve given it any thought, but I’d be remiss not to ask.”

A large waterfowl descended from the sky, landing noisily just at the edge of the water. His attention was drawn away for a second. He was still looking at it when he answered.

“I’m not sure I understand, sir.” He found himself gripping the rock tighter.

He could only read the question as a probe, something to get caught on. But he didn’t get the sense of Levon trying to trick him. He couldn’t untangle it.

“Would you want to stay onboard Galatea after all this? Or do you want to be done with it? I can’t make any promises, but we’d take it into consideration during the ruling.”

Oh. Oh.

They don’t need you.

The realization hit with both relief and devastation. The devastation won out. He couldn’t stop himself.

“I can still operate,” he said. He had never once had to fear obsolescence. It was a brand new terror. “I’m not at full capacity anymore, but it’s still viable. If you wanted me to. Sir.”

His hands traced the collar unconsciously. 

Levon had been standing with his hand on his hip, his head cocked to the side in a post that made him look younger than he was. Rebel heartthrob — he’d never forgotten how to act like it. As the offer, his posture dropped, his expression turning much more serious. 

Delta flinched from the way his face fell, the minute shift of his shoulder. But the hit didn’t come, again. 

“Delta,” he spoke calmly, but there was a sternness beneath it, “Do me a favor.”

“Yes, sir.” His fingers twitched. Anything.

“Don’t ever suggest that again.”

He shut down.

They didn’t want it. All his life he’d been indispensable and now they didn’t even want it. In that instant, the thousand discreet instances of indiscriminate killing came secondary to his desire to be needed.

Levon’s expression softened, his lips parting slightly as his eyes searched.

“Is that what you want?” he asked quietly. “To keep being a weapon?”

There was no good answer, no right one. To his horror, he realized his eyes had started watering again. What the fuck was wrong with him?

“Oh, oh, no,” Levon’s eyes widened in surprise, all his harshness leaving. “Okay. Easy.”

“Sorry.” He wiped at his eyes frantically. “I didn’t…mean to.”

Fuck.

“You’re alright. So, more time then?” 

He hated to ask for it. He didn’t answer.

“Okay. More time,” Levon confirmed.

“I’m sorry, sir.”

“You don’t have to apologize.”

It was his thousandth time hearing that. It never sank in. He’d never be sorry enough.

~

It was a somewhat awkward walk back to the house. Kitty hopped off the porch as they approached, making grabby hands. Delta took the one of them, letting her slide into place beside him. He appreciated the proximity. She glanced at his eyes, still a bit inflamed from crying, and leveraged herself in between him and Levon.

“Whaddya talk about?” she purred.

“The future,” Levon answered.

“Oh no.”

Delta pressed his forehead against her shoulder. He’d just woken up, but he was tired again. It was the kind of exhaustion sleep wouldn’t fix.

“I can extend the grace period if you really need it. Not by much, I’m afraid.” he cast a cautious look at Delta, “But you’d have more time to think it over.”

She moved up onto the porch. Delta hovered between her and the front door, unsure if he was being dismissed. Levon leaned against the railing at the bottom of the stairs, his hand returning to his hip.

“Really?” Her voice was bright, pleasantly surprised. “You’re gonna be able to hold up without me?”

“I know you’re still working,” he leveled. 

She giggled in response, the edge of her tail flicking back and forth, “I thought you needed the help.”

“There is no overstating how much help we need.”

Delta still hovered by the door, overcome with the strangest feeling of loss. He felt like he was witnessing something alien, the way people spoke when they did not have daggers drawn.

Levon pulled off of the lawn. The engine’s cacophony broke up the quiet morning, then was gone just as quickly as it appeared.

“It was nice of him to drop off clothes,” Apollo managed, the picture of civility. Delta slid into the chair by the pass-through, leaning his arms against the counter. He flinched as Kitty passed behind him, interpreting any movement he could not see as a threat. She just hopped up on the counter, swinging her legs a little.

“What’d he say to you?” She asked, a bit of the levity gone but none of the gentleness.

Delta bit his nails; it was a worse habit than the hair-twirling, but his hair was too short to do that now. He shrugged.

“…Asked what I wanted to do.”

“Oh,” she paused, “What do you want?”

He shrugged again. It was disrespectful. He should’ve stopped. It was just hard to speak.

“Hadn’t thought about it,” he mumbled. 

Because he hadn’t. He didn’t think it would matter, that anyone would even bother to ask.

He wanted to be useful, if he had to pick one. And he didn’t really want to kill again. Those two seemed at odds with one another. 

~~~

…………

tags:

@catnykit @snakebites-and-ink @vivulapom @scoundrelwithboba @whatwhump

@pumpkin-spice-whump @deluxewhump @fuckass1000 @fuckcapitalismasshole @defire

@micechomper @writereleaserepeat @aloafofbreadwithanxiety @flowery-whump @littlebookworm69

@lordcatwich @human-123-person @paperprinxe @whomeidontknowthem

[youregoingtoeathimwithmyface]

smoking bong in the rain…..word around town is the property management company of the apartment i was signing for is the devil hiself so i decided not to go thru with it

[exhaslo]

Over-Time Ch3

(CEO!Miguel x Shy/Clumsy!Reader)

Ch1, Ch2

Warning: MINORS DNI, eventual smut, slow-burn, mentions of sex, bullying, cussing, fluff

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

"On behalf of those of us at Alchemax, we would like to welcome you to our company. Please arrive at the Human Resources floor tomorrow with the information sent via email. We are happy to have you join us."

The shudder in your voice as you resisted the urge to squeal was sharp. You were at your current job, trying to hide from the crowd outside. This phone call was important, you told everyone that, and you were glad you took it.

"(Y/N)! GET OUT HERE WE NEED YOUR CLUMSY ASS!"

You yelped towards your coworker. Tears threatening to spill towards their harsh tone. Luckily you had just finished the phone call. How cruel could they be?

Hurrying back onto the floor, you yelped as another coworker tossed you a bunch of orders. Hurrying towards you station, you tried your best to make the orders but the pressure was getting to you. Everyone's yelling and the pace was too much.

"Strawberries, (Y/N)! Not Blackberries! Damn!"

"S-Sorry," You whimpered.

You hated working here. You hated this job, but this was the only place that could hire you fresh out of college. Everywhere you really wanted to work claimed that you didn't have enough work experience. Well how the hell were you supposed to get that if they didn't give you a shot?

"Hey, goofball, you're taking my shift tomorrow."

"H-Huh?!" You questioned, spilling the drink you were making, "Ah! No, no-"

"It's from 7am to 2pm."

"I-I can't!" You stuttered, trying to clean the mess you made, "I-I have s-something....something important to do!"

"Well change your plans, I already told the manager that you're taking my shift, goofball." Your coworker snapped before bumping into you, "Stop fucking up the drinks!"

You were biting the inside of your cheek as you tried your best to hold back your tears. You weren't going to let your cruel coworkers ruin your chance at a better life. You weren't going to deal with them anymore after today.

You just had to finish your shift.

And never look back.

----------

You woke up early for Alchemax. Triple checked all of your paperwork and identification. This was the most prepared you were ever going to be. You had blocked your current job from calling you so they wouldn't stress you out.

You even had some time to bake a small 'thank you' cake for Miguel, if you got the chance to see him. You were truly grateful for his help in getting you here. Hopefully it won't look weird on your end. This was just your way of thanking someone.

Once you arrived, you went up to the Human Resources floor to submit your information. As you waited, you focused on the elevator and saw Lyla step out.

"Ah, there you are." Lyla chirped, approaching you.

It was night and day from when you saw her during the interview. She was much more peppy than before.

"G-Good...morning," You whispered, feeling slightly nervous as to why she was looking for you.

"Is all her paperwork done?" Lyla asked the front desk lady, "Perfect, (Y/N), grab your stuff and follow me. I'm going to show you around~"

"Oh....Thank you,"

This felt strange. As you collected all of your things, you hurried behind Lyla. She was so nice and friendly. You weren't used to this, so it was a nice change of pace.

"Now that you're officially hired with us, you'll be getting paid for your time here today. I'm going to show you around the building first, then your station. I'm sure you'll love working here~!"

----------

Miguel grunted lowly as Lyla abandoned him during an important meeting. She wanted to meet you personally, leaving Miguel to suffer with the wolves. Miguel had very little patience with these men and now it was going to get worse.

Once the meeting was over, Miguel hurried back to his office. He needed a drink. There was only so much stupid and ignorance that he could deal with. Being a CEO was difficult. The patience that Miguel had to show was honestly a talent.

"This is the cafeteria! We have a large selection of goods here,"

Miguel could hear Lyla's voice from one of this monitors. Honestly, that woman was good at testing Miguel.

"Whoa, h-how much do we have....to pay for this?"

Groaning softly as Miguel sat at his desk, he took a sip of his vodka. Your soft voice now echoed from the monitor. Miguel resisted a chuckle as he watched the two of you walk around. Lyla must have set this up, normally Miguel only watched certain interviews.

"I've been meaning to ask, what's in the little box you've been carrying?" Lyla asked you.

"A-Ah....Um...I-I wanted to say thank you to...Miguel for helping me out. Is...Is it too much? I thought....I usually bake as a thank you," Your voice was getting lower as you started to cover your face.

"Hehe," Lyla looked directly at the camera, "I'm sure he will love it."

Miguel grunted in response as he drank the rest of his liquor. Lyla was abusing the fact that you didn't know that he was the CEO. Miguel couldn't wait until you did find out. How shocked would you get? How red would those cheeks turn?

Clicking his tongue at his thoughts, Miguel decided to meet with you. After all, it would be rude for you to be waiting much longer. You had a cake to give him.

How cute.

--------

Lyla was currently showing you some of the labs. There were a lot of floors that you weren't going to be anywhere near, but Lyla said it was good to know where everything was. Honestly, Alchemax was even more impressive than you thought.

Arriving at the next floor, you gasped softly as you made eye contact with Miguel once the doors open.

"Oh, Miguel, funny to find you on the relaxing floor," Lyla said with a grin.

"I don't find it strange at all," Miguel huffed and smiled towards you, "Ah, (Y/n), right?"

"Y-Yes!" You squeaked and lowered your head, "Um...I..."

Your heart was racing. This was weird. So very, very weird. Maybe you shouldn't have baked him a cake. Maybe just a thank you card was enough? You couldn't find the courage to give him the baked good. It was too embarrassing.

"Awe!" Lyla cooed and pulled Miguel inside the elevator, "Why don't I show (Y/n) where she will be working! Miguel, come with us."

"Sure," Miguel grunted lowly.

"Ah, here!" You nervously handed Miguel the cake, avoiding his gaze, "I....I wanted to say...thank you for...for helping me with the interview! S-So, thank you!"

"You didn't have too," Miguel smiled as he took the small box, "But thank you."

Finally raising your head, you felt your cheeks burn as Miguel smiled towards you. There were butterflies in your stomach as you watched him. Miguel was so kind and handsome. You hoped that you could see him often here.

"Huh? You can smile?" Lyla mocked Miguel, causing him to grunt.

"When is your vacation again?"

It was fascinating watching the two bicker. That sweet and kind Miguel was grumbling towards Lyla. As if they had been friends for quite some time. It made you feel even better about working here.

"Here is our floor! C'mon (Y/n), let's leave the brute to himself," Lyla chuckled, grabbing your hand.

"W-Wait...Isn't this the top floor-"

"Hm? Oh, yes, you were hired to be my replacement while I'm away on vacation. You're going to be the CEO's secretary." Lyla said casually.

Your eyes widen in shock. You wanted to question Lyla, but honestly, thinking about your interview, it made sense. Lyla just smiled as she showed you her office, wanting to get you comfortable.

"S-So...I'll be working...with the CEO?" You asked softly, taking a seat on her couch, "Um...How are they?"

"Ugh, so annoying. Always uptight, always cranky, never laughs or smiles. Honestly, this change will be good for all of us. I'm sure you can get that grunting brute to loosen up. The job is pretty easy itself as you've seen during your interview."

"Mhm, will there be...anything else I have to do?"

"Not much, but I'll go over all that with more details tomorrow. Why don't we work on your schedule as of right now?"

"Okay,"

--------

Miguel waited for you to enter Lyla's office before he could enter his. He took a seat at his desk and pulled out a fork as he undid the box you gave him. Miguel raised a brow at the cake before him, it was small and a little sloppy, but the effort was there.

Taking a bite of the cake, Miguel winced at the salty taste. You did admit that you were clumsy. Swallowing, Miguel went to grab a water before seeing a small note in the box.

"If it is too salty, I'm so sorry. There is a small packet of tea that goes well with salty items...just in case." Miguel read aloud.

Finding the tea packet, Miguel scoffed softly as he got himself a glass of hot water. You were well prepared. Miguel seemed to recall you saying that you only got clumsy when nervous. Were your nerves getting to you about the job?

"Well, can't have that now," Miguel hummed, drinking the tea, "I quite like (Y/n). She'd make a fine edition to the team."

"This is the big bad CEO's office," Lyla said from outside Miguel's doors.

Miguel just smiled as he imagined you on the other side. Lyla was making him to be oh so scary. Appraoching the door, Miguel kept a calm composure as he decided to open the doors.

"Stop scaring the new girl," Miguel hummed. He watched as your eyes widen,

"Huh? Miguel? Y-You're...You're the C-CEO?"

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Next Chapter

@timidquindim @decentsoupperson @ivkygirly @reader-1290 @daddyfroglegs @eepybunny0805 @ddreabea @iamperson12280 @migueloharasoulmate @tojishugetiddies @koko-1025 @hyeinwluv85s @daisy-artfield @migueloharastruelove @a-lil-whore @hcqwxrtss123 @the-pan-liquid @tojisfav @pochapo @bubblegumfanfictions @brighterthanlonelythoughts @ghstypaint @mangoslushcrush @synamonthy @scaleniusrm @moonspectorx @dorck26 @a060403 @lunablackcosplay @soraya-daydreams @lovefanfic1 @mymrsweirdnessshipperstuff-blog @pretty-pink-princesss @corpsebridenightamare @razertail18 @gachagator @droolingmuttt @miguelsfavwife @ryzguy06 @raideaters-blog @manishkaworld @keidilla @byjessicalotufo @pigeonmama @k3ythesapphic @acesangels @stealingyourturts @angel-xx-1 @amberbalcom14 @flaps200 @ofmenanduhhhwellmen

[totheblood]

GLORY & GORE

CHAPTER ONE: NOW WE'RE IN THE RING

PAIRING: fwb!ellie williams x reader

SUMMARY: a week after you reunite with your estranged best friend, astrid, for the first time in three years, you are heartbroken to discover her sudden and brutal murder. as you dive deep into the world of sagewood university, you uncover astrid's ties to a shadowy society lurking within the institution's walls. in the midst of all of this, you cross paths with ellie, who you met on the very day you saw astrid again. as ellie helps you figure out what happened to your best friend, you're forced to wonder if everything with ellie is truly as it appears, and if trust can genuinely be given to anyone.

WARNINGS: 18+ SLIGHT SMUT mentions of death, grief, related subjects; cursing, mentions of drinking/drugs, mentions of s*x

A/N: i've been working on this one for a while... i hope you enjoy! please send asks, reblog, and reply to this post <;3

WORD COUNT: 6.3k

You couldn’t shake the feeling that you were being watched as you stepped onto Sagewood University’s campus for the first time since Astrid’s death. 

You spent the days following Astrid’s death curled up on your couch, unmoving. Your gaze was fixed on the ceiling as you let time pass by slowly, counting the clicks of the clock on your wall each second.

Your mom would check on you every now and then, before she had to leave for work or when she came back home. She would leave a plate of food on the coffee table near you, urging you to eat something, but you had no appetite. It was safe to say that you weren't taking Astrid's death well.

Suddenly, your phone chimed, a ringtone reserved for one person. 

ellie: You okay?

You picked up your phone, reading the message despite the LED lights burning your eyes. It was obvious to anyone that you weren't okay, so you declined to answer. You put your phone back on the table and stared at the same place on the ceiling. It was starting to look like a face, but you were almost sure you were hallucinating. 

The morning they found Astrid’s dead body sprawled out on a table in the library had started like a normal day for you. The sky was still dark when you woke up to your alarm and dragged yourself out of bed. You pulled on the grey hoodie that had been your staple all semester, paired with a red pair of sweatpants you had worn so much they were nearly falling apart. As you walked towards campus, the streets were silent except for the occasional chirping of birds and the crunch of gravel beneath your sneakers. But when you reached the library all seemed eerily quiet; the wide glass windows had been frosted with police tape and blocked by large, black police cars. Fear started to sink into your stomach as groups huddled together, their hushed voices filled with whimpers and tears.

“Hey, uh,” you tapped one on the shoulder, “what happened?”

“They found some girl dead,” she replied in a low voice, “Can you believe it?” 

“Do they know who it is?” you asked. Deep in your heart you already knew it was her. 

From the very first day you met Astrid, you knew you had found your person. It was like finding the other piece to a two-piece puzzle. Simple, but rare. In elementary school, she was your personal hero, unafraid to get her hands dirty—or bloody, for that matter—when that kid shoved you during recess. 

Middle school was weird for everyone, but less so for you because you had Astrid. You two invented your own secret language, a series of squiggles and lines that looked like chicken scratch to anyone else. Those notes you passed weren't just ink on paper; they were secret jokes, each scribble another knot in the thread that connected you two.

High school rolled around, and the stakes got higher, the emotions deeper. You realized you liked girls, and the moment you told Astrid, the air between you changed—but not in the way you feared. It was as if she picked up the weight of the situation and took it on as her own, lightening your load just by being there, just by listening. She didn't offer grand gestures or theatrical declarations of support; she didn't need to. Instead, she guided you, step-by-step, through the maze of coming out, as if it was the most natural path you could walk together.

And maybe it was. Because when you look back on everything, every scraped knee and every coded note, every whispered secret and every shared challenge, it all led back to a simple, undeniable truth: life was messy and confusing and downright hard sometimes—but less so with Astrid by your side.

College was supposed to be a fresh chapter, a new horizon where you and Astrid could explore the world as adults. But instead, it turned into a ripping of a page you never saw coming. Within the first week, something broke. Conversations turned into awkward exchanges, laughter gave way to silence, and the natural ease you'd always felt around her failed to exist. You guys just stopped clicking and after a big argument, you stopped hanging out altogether. She became someone you used to know, a piece of your past.

Time went by, and you got used to life without Astrid. Then, out of the blue, you got a text from her last week. She said she wanted to meet up.

She asked to meet at the campus coffee shop, Brain Brew, on a Tuesday morning. It was practically empty in there when you arrived, something that it almost never was. You came early, thinking you would need to find a seat, but now looking at all the empty chairs was less of a concern. 

Behind the bar stood a girl, with short auburn hair and freckles littered across her face, on her phone. When you approached, she straightened up, looking surprised to see you. You read the name on her nametag: Ellie. 

“Uh,” she looked you up and down briefly, “what can I get for you?” 

“What's good?” you asked, eyes scanning the expansive menu ranging from lavender latte's to plain black coffee. 

“Anything I make is good,” she shrugged, eyes still waiting for a response. 

“Then, just an iced vanilla latte,” you ordered, tapping your fingers on the counter. She tapped your order into the tablet in front of her and then stopped for a minute, looking you over again. 

“You go to Sagewood?” she asked, crossing her arms over her chest. 

“Yea,” your brows knit together, as you shifted uncomfortably in your place, “Why?”

“I just feel like I’ve seen you before,” she commented, the price of your latte lighting up on the screen in front of you, “6.74.”

Jesus fuck, you thought, this is why I don't come here. 

“It’s a big campus, you’ve probably just seen me around or something,” you tapped your card, looking back up at her, scanning her face to see if you remembered her from anywhere. Then it clicked, “Did you go to Weston Middle School?”

“Shit,” she breathed, shaking her head and laughing, “yea, for a year.”

“I remember you,” you laughed, a smile spread across your face, “you used to eat lunch alone every day and when I tried to sit next to you you told me to ‘Fuck off’.”

You saw her physically wince as she pulled your receipt out of the dispenser, “Fuck,” she shook her head again, closing her eyes painfully, “I’m sorry, that was not a good year for me.”

“I don't think 11 is a good year for anyone,” you joked back, taking your receipt from her, “It’s all good, don't worry about it.” 

She let out a little laugh, her cheeks growing a tinge darker as she scratched the back of her neck, “I’ll get that drink started for you,” she moved towards the espresso machine before stopping and turning back towards you, “Wait, can I get your name?” She paused for a moment, examining the expression on your face, “For the order.”

Smiling, you gave her your name, and stood at the end of the counter, waiting for your drink. Astrid was now five minutes late, and you just realized she may be standing you up. 

“Do you go to Sagewood?” you asked Ellie from across the espresso machine. She looked up at you over the machine, waiting for the espresso to brew. 

“Yeah,” she shrugged, “for psych.”

“Oh, you want to be a therapist?” you leaned your hands on the counter looking around the empty room. 

“Something like that,” she breathed out a laugh, eyes flicking up to you for a moment, “What are you doing?”

“Journalism,” you smiled, watching as she made your drink, “Do you think I could get your number?” It slipped out of your mouth before you could think. You watched as the smile from her face fell, the blood that was in her cheeks being replaced with pale skin.

“Oh, uh” she fumbled over her words almost dropping the cup of milk she was holding, “I don’t really date, it not my-”

“Oh, not like that,” you cut her off, trying to save yourself the embarrassment, “Just like as friends, I don’t really have that many around campus.” 

“Oh,” she breathed out a laugh, relief flooding her features, “Yeah, sure then. I’d love to be friends.”

When she handed you her drink she handed you her phone with the contacts app already open. You took your coffee and the phone, smiling slightly as you put your name and number in. 

“Here,” you giggled, “sorry if that was weird. I wasn’t like coming on to you or anything. I mean not that you aren’t attractive cause you are- But it’s also not like I’m not into girls, cause I am. Jesus fuck,” you whispered under your breath, “It’s just that I also... Don’t date,” you lied. 

You watched the permanent smirk on her face as you rambled off and she took her phone back and let out another breathy laugh. 

“Well, it’s not that you aren’t attractive either,” she rubbed the back of her neck, watching intently as you sipped your drink, “so if you wanted to like, I don’t know, hook up sometime, I would be down for that.” 

You practically choked on your latte when she said that, eyes wide as you tried to cover up your spluttering with a cough, “Um, yeah. That sounds cool, or whatever.” 

“Cool,” she pursed her lips, nodding before turning back to wipe the counter down, “I’ll text you.”

As if it was fate the bell rang behind you, signaling Astrid’s entrance. You turned to look at her and give her a once over. She looked a lot more frazzled since you last saw her, her blond hair was still as long and came past her shoulders, but it was frizzier as if she had just woken up. The circles under her eyes were more prominent, and when you smiled at her, she didn’t smile back. You didn’t want to approach her first, so you just waited until she came up to you and gave you a hint of a smile. 

“Should we sit?” She asked, her voice much raspier now as she looked around to the empty cafe, the tension in her body easing up.

“Sure,” you followed her lead as she led you to the back, away from any windows and farther away from the bar. You looked over to where Ellie was still working, wondering how loud you would need to shout for her to hear you. 

“What did you want to talk about?” you started, noticing her slightly anxious state as she took shallow breaths, “I mean, I missed you.”

“This isn’t about us,” her voice was cold when she spoke, the words hurting you more than you thought it would, “I just think you are the only person I can trust.”

“Okay,” you took a sip of your latte, nursing it in your hands, “do you need to tell me something?”

“No,” she took a deep breath, “Just that if something happens to me, it will have to be you to figure out who does it.” 

“Jesus,” you breathed out, leaning in to whisper back, “What the fuck have you gotten into, A?” 

She winced at the sound of her nickname, looking down at the table before looking around again at the still-empty cafe, “I should be fine,” she sighed, “but if I’m not, you will know what to do.”

“How the fuck would I know what to do?” you spoke a little louder, throwing your hands up dramatically as you leaned back, “I mean this is ridiculous, you completely blow me off freshman year and now you’re telling me I have to worry about someone who doesn’t even want to be my friend anymore?”

“You’re being melodramatic,” she blinked a few times, before sitting up straight, “I didn’t come here to fight you.” 

“No, you just came to make sure I’d be there whenever you got yourself into trouble,” your voice was harsh as you stood up from your seat abruptly, ready to leave. 

“Please, sit down,” she urged, looking up at you with her big round eyes.

“No, thanks,” you replied sarcastically, giving her a fake smile, “Go fuck yourself.”

Go fuck yourself. 

That was the last thing you ever told Astrid before she was murdered. 

The guilt followed you all the way back home that night in stunned silence. You were too shocked to even tell your professor you weren’t coming to class that day, missing a midterm. You knew you would make it up eventually, but now, all you could do was sit and stare and hope to wake up from whatever nightmare you were living. 

To make matters worse, as you sat on your bed, still dressed in your clothes from earlier a note was slipped under your door. A thick cream cardstock, with embossed trimmings covered in gold, and written delicately on the front in script, “Keep your mouth shut, or you’re next.”

At the time, you immediately threw it out, not thinking much of it. Your brain was stuffed with things you didn’t want to think about, flashes of your childhood coming back in brief intervals. The vision of the two of you at the carnival, faces stuffed with cotton candy, giggling as you boarded the Ferris Wheel for the first time on your own came back first. You remember going around with her three times until the sun went down and the houses began to look like stars in the sky. Lit up and far away.

Another memory flashed, her crying in your lap in the 8th grade. Jason Charnley rejected her when she asked him if they could go to the dance together. Innocently, you offered to go with her as you stroked her hair, the cries dying out as you cracked joke after joke. By the time she was supposed to go home, she had forgotten what she was even upset about. 

Then a memory of senior year when she showed up on your front step, a giant envelope addressed to her with a giant “Sagewood” on the front. She knew she was accepted from the moment she applied, but the confirmation was validation enough. What really surprised her was your admission, meaning you’d follow after her to college as you usually did.

Then a memory flashed from a week ago, an unknown number lit up your screen the night you met Astrid in the cafe. 

ellie: Hey, this is Ellie.

ellie: From Brain Brew.

you: wrong number

you: but what are you wearing, ellie?

ellie: Nvm.

you: stooooop come back

you: i was being annoying, i apologize

you: what are you doing rn?

ellie: Come find out. 

That’s how you found yourself pressed up against Ellie’s door, her knee wedged in between your legs, a small whimper falling from your lips that were wrapped up in Ellie’s. Ellie's lips were soft and full, her touch gentle, calloused hands gripping your clothed waist. You could feel her heart pounding in time with your own, her chest rising and falling with each breath.

Your hands, no longer under your own control, moved around her waist to pull her closer still, while her hands roamed over your back, exploring, caressing. Your breathing grew heavier as you felt her hands roam up your body

The kiss deepened as you explored each other’s mouths with your tongues. Her lips were insistent, demanding as if she couldn't get enough of you. You were overwhelmed by the taste of her, a mix of mint and coffee. She slipped her hands under your shirt, her hands traveling up your back, causing goosebumps to rise exclusively where she touched. Her hands found the clasp of your bra, undoing it, her mouth never leaving yours as you moaned into her mouth. Ellie’s hands, still under your shirt, moved to cup your tits in her hand, pushing you back against the door as she did so. 

She broke the kiss, her lips trailing down your jaw, leaving a trail of hot, open-mouthed and sloppy kisses on your skin. Her teeth nipped at the skin on your collarbone, sending shivers down your spine. Her hands began teasing your nipples with gentle squeezes and flicks. She was relishing in every sound you made, every way you squirmed underneath her touch. She could feel herself getting wet from the small sounds alone. Then you moaned out loud as Ellie's lips found their way to your neck, sucking and biting, marking you as hers, and she was gone completely.

Her hands moved lower, sliding down your sides, over the curve of your hips, until they reached the waistband of your pants. Before you knew it, her fingers slipped beneath the fabric, two fingers circling your clit as she worked you.

“Shit,” she whispered under her breath, “this is for me?” The sound of her fingers and your cunt made an obscene noise, her fingers now completely coated in you. Your hands fumbled with the buttons of Ellie's shirt, desperate to feel her skin against yours. You popped them off one by one, fingers faltering as she touched you, revealing her toned stomach, and you couldn't help but run your hands at the place right above her worn-out jeans, feeling the muscles twitch beneath your touch.

Ellie pulled back slightly, her eyes searching her face for any regret, any idea that you wanted to back out now. "You want this?" she whispered, her voice low and rough. You nodded, unable to form words as your body leaned into her.

----

That’s all you remembered that night, slipping out sometime before Ellie woke up. You assumed that since this was “strictly a hookup” she wouldn’t want to see you there in the morning. She did vaguely reference you sleeping over, but you didn’t want to overstay your welcome. 

So before the sun came up, you slipped from Ellie’s grip, slipping on the clothes you came in and doing the infamous walk of shame back to your dorm. This wasn’t a relationship, and the proactive version of yourself had to be reminded of that many times that week.

You began to think that if you maybe hadn’t gotten so wrapped up in Ellie the week after meeting with Astrid, you would have noticed something. Maybe even have been able to prevent her death. A part of you wanted to resent Ellie for that, but you knew at the end of the day you were trying to put the blame on anyone but yourself.

She reached out for help, but you denied her. 

The best friend you swore to protect, who swore to protect you was now dead, and you could have prevented it. Wallowing in it wasn’t helping much, but provided some emotion to feel other than numb. So back in your childhood home, your fingers lingered over Ellie’s contact, wondering if you should text her back. You didn’t have a plan to return back to school yet and you didn’t want to give her false hope.

Maybe she could fuck the grief out of you, or wrap her to-

you: as good as i can be

ellie: This sucks.

you: truer words have never been spoken

ellie: But hey, I need to talk to you. Do you know when you’ll be back on campus?

ellie: I’m not trying to like fuck you or anything cause that would be fucked up.

ellie: Ignore that last message. I’m just realizing now how weird that was. I'm sorry.

ellie: Anyways, I just need to talk to you about something, it’s serious. Don’t wanna text it to you.

you: i should be back soon, i don't know yet. 

ellie: Well, when you do come back, let me know.  

You stared at your phone, your fingers ghosting over Ellie’s message before deciding to reply with a thumbs up. Pathetic, but it was all you could muster as you finally sat up and ate the food your mom left for you. It was about time to return to your life, falling behind not being an option anymore.

You worked too hard to get into Sagewood in the first place to stop now, a year before you were set to graduate. Sagewood was on par with the Ivy League schools, bearing an acceptance rate of 9% and accepting students internationally. There were about a thousand on-campus clubs, sororities, and study groups. There were even rumored secret societies, but you were never one to believe in that sort of thing. People who graduated with a degree from Sagewood were set for life. There was no room to screw up three years of good grades okay grades. 

So that’s how you found yourself back on campus, tightly gripping the straps of your bag. As if snapped back into reality, the memories of that night flooded back. You just began to remember the note you threw away that threatened your life, as you made your way to your morning class, an unsettling feeling setting in your stomach. It almost felt as if you were being watched. 

As you sat in class, you shuffled in your seat as the kid a few rows in front of you turned to look at you. When he noticed you staring back he turned around quickly. The whole class you had your eyes trained on the back of his head, watching as he would occasionally look at you, notice you looking, and turn back around. You knew you were being paranoid when you first walked onto campus, but now you felt validated.

As the teacher dismissed the class, the kid who kept staring at you collected his things and attempted to leave the room quickly, but you wouldn’t let that happen. You rushed to meet him at the door and stood in front of him, a bitter look on your face. 

“You’ve got a staring problem,” you commented accusingly, hands folding across your chest.

“You’re just really,” he coughed, looking around as other people pushed past you to the exit, the professor included, “pretty. You’re pretty, that’s why I was staring.”

“I know I am,” you turned to shut the door behind the last person exiting the room, “but do you really think I’m that stupid? What gives?”

“I’m late for my clas-” he began to stumble out before you took another menacing step towards him. 

“You won’t make it there if you don’t tell me why the fuck you were staring at me,” you pointed a finger right in the center of his chest, making him gulp loudly. 

“It’s just,” he takes another step back, “you were friends with the dead girl.”

“The dead girl?” you spat back at him, your tone laced with venom, “Her name was Astrid, you dick.”

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry!” He breathed out, “I’m just a true crime junkie, I’m intrigued about her case.”

“Her case?” you questioned him, taking a step back to make him feel more comfortable. To make him open up to you. 

“Just that they have no leads yet,” he scoffed, “which is weird if you ask me. No suspects yet she’s killed in a very public place?”

“That happens all the time,” you retorted, hands still crossed protectively across your chest.

“It’s not as common as you think,” he shrugged, “they haven’t questioned you yet?”

Now that he brought it up, the whole situation was weird. If they were trying hard to find out what happened to her, why weren’t you called in for questioning? It wasn’t like you had done it, but you did have a motive, and you had just come into contact with her again, shortly before her murder. If there was any person to question, it would be you, but yet here you were, untouched.

“No, they haven’t,” you mumbled back, your mind moving a million miles per minute. 

“See,” he smirked, “weird.”

“Wipe that stupid ass smile off your face,” you spat back, “she’s still dead, and just because you ‘like true crime’ doesn’t give you a right to talk about her. It’s not like you’re going to solve her murder.”

“I just might,” he stated simply.

“Yeah, right,” you scoffed, turning towards the door to leave now.

“Did you know she was part of a secret society?” he questioned, making you still for a moment.

You turned back around to face him, eyes squinted again, arms crossed firmly over your chest, “What the fuck are you talking about?”

He let out a laugh, shaking his head, something sinister in the way he hung his head, “I do my research and I do it well.”

“You sound like a nutcase,” you spat again, trying to stop the anger from bubbling inside of you. It felt weird to talk about Astrid as if she was a mystery. In all the people in the world, you knew her the best. You knew each and every corner of her life, even when you weren’t speaking. But now, as you stood here, you weren’t sure you ever knew her at all. 

“They are called Oculus Noctis,” he shrugged again, standing up taller as if he had just won this fight, or whatever this was, “look them up, then come find me,” he walked closer to you now, making you want to cower away, but you didn’t. You planted your feet down, straightening your posture. Although he looked more confident now, you could tell he was still intimidated by you, “my name’s Corbin Nott. I run a podcast, look me up too.”

Smiling, he brushed past you leaving you standing alone in the room. You let out what felt like a deep breath you were holding for a while, your breath coming out shallow and shaky.  Your heart felt like it would beat out of your chest, and come out of your ears and nose as you bled out on the floor, but you just stayed unmoving taking deep breaths as you placed a hand over your chest to steady yourself. 

Your hands began to shake a little, trembling as you moved to sit down at one of the desks, a failed attempt at calming yourself. The breaths came quicker as it started to feel like you couldn’t breathe, like your heart was pumping blood into your lungs and you were drowning. Your vision blurred as you stared at the desk, which was now full of wet droplets. Were you crying? You lifted a shaky hand to wipe at your cheeks, and as you expected you felt your damp skin covered in tears. 

You were trying hard to collect yourself now, knowing that students from the next class would probably start flooding in and you wouldn’t be able to move. You would just sit at a front desk crying as whatever poor professor tried to teach. C’mon get it together, get it fucking together, you thought. What was it they said to do? 5 things you can see, 4 things you can touch, and the other three got lost on you. 

You looked around, and through teary eyes you could see a clock on the wall, ticking slower than usual. You could see the whiteboard in front of you, smugged with black dry-erase markers, and you could see the dark hardwood floors, clean and polished. You watched your hands and your tears on the desk and suddenly your breathing started to feel normal.

Thank god you did because by the time you were wiping your last tear from your eyes, the door to the classroom was swinging open and a student was walking in. You kept your head down, so they wouldn’t see your teary eyes and red nose, but that also stopped you from seeing them. So when the person called your name out, you had to look up, only to see…

“Ellie,” you mumbled, watching the smile on her face drop as her eyes scanned your face. Gripping her backpack straps she walked closer to you slowly, crouching down in front of the desk you were sitting at. Her green eyes darted from your eyes to your nose, to your lips, and to the desk, clearly wet.

“Hey,” she whispered, “are you okay?” She reluctantly reached a hand out to wipe at your face, unsure if you were okay with being touched or if you even liked to be comforted. She wiped a tear away from your cheek, her calloused thumb rubbing your cheek gently, “What happened?”

“I-I’m fine,” you stuttered out, closing your eyes at the skin-to-skin contact, “Still upset I guess,” you let out a shaky laugh, hoping to see a small smile on Ellie’s face as you opened your eye, but she just looked worried. Her brow wrinkled a bit, and it looked as if she was still searching for something in your eyes, but was coming up empty. She cleared her throat before looking away, retracting her hand from her face. 

“You’re not fine.” She grumbled back, standing up now, causing you to look up at her, “You shouldn’t be back here so soon.”

“What?” you joked, “Not excited to see me?”

She rolled her eyes playfully, a small blush tinted on her face as she nudged your shoulder lightly, “Not excited at all,” she commented sarcastically, making you crack a bigger smile, “c’mon let’s get out of here,” she motioned her head to the door, making you stand up shakily and stand in front of her. 

“Don’t you have class?” you asked, your own expression laced with worry. You watched as her face softened slightly at this, pursing her lips and looking you up and down. 

“I can skip it,” she shrugged, “plus, I wanted to talk to you.” 

You let out a small laugh, “God, you sound obsessed with me.”

“Yeah, yeah,” she dismissed you, walking towards the door, pulling it open, and holding it for you, “C’mon, let’s go.”

Giving her a small smile you walked out with her, your hands placed firmly in your pockets. You stepped out onto the main grass of Sagewood, where people were sitting, laughing, as their lives moved on. The smell of the grass was strong, as you walked down the cobbled path, Ellie looking at you quickly before taking a deep breath. 

“So, I went by your room the day after your friend-” she started, 

“Astrid,” you practically whispered back.

‘Astrid,” she paused, “After she died,” she cleared her throat, “I’m so sorry by the way.”

“It’s fine, you don’t have to say that.”

“Sorry,” she cleared her throat, “Anyways, I went there the day after and you weren’t there, but there was this book on your desk.”

“What?” you stopped in your tracks looking at her, “There was no book on my desk when I got back.” 

“I know,” she sighed, looking around, “I took it,” she watched as your eyes widened and you took a step back.

“Why the fuck would you take something off my desk?” you questioned, anger written all over your face. Ellie shifted uncomfortably, chewing on her bottom lip as you questioned her.

“Because it was Astrid’s, and I thought,” her voice died out, and your wide eyes just pressed her on, your arms once again folding over your chest.  

“You thought what?” 

“I thought that it was evidence,” she breathed out, “I thought that if they found that in your room it would be pinned on you.”

“You think I killed her?” your voice was loud now, making people around you stop and stare. Ellie looked around uncomfortably, closing her eyes as she took another deep breath. 

��Of course not!” she whisper yelled back, “You were at mine the night she was murdered, but if they found that in your room, it would have been on you.”

“So, you stole it,’ you deadpanned, eyebrows raised and accusing, “Why do you even care if I go down for it? You barely know me.”

“Because believe it or not, you are one of my only friends,” she looked away, her arms crossing over her chest as if to protect herself, “Like ever. So forgive me if I didn’t want you to be framed for murder.”

Your expression softened, arms falling to your sides as you looked up at her and then back at the ground, “I appreciate that.” 

“You can have it back, obviously,” she mumbled, eyes trained on her own shoes as her arms uncrossed and her fingers began to play with each other, “I just… didn’t want you to get in trouble. It’s all gibberish anyways, just a bunch of words that don't make sense.”

That made your heart stop, as you blinked up at her. “What did you just say?” She looked up at you, shrugging as she rolled her eyes.

“The journal, it’s like just a bunch of random words, I tried to find out what language it was but I came up short,” she was still playing with her fingers, obviously nervous as she picked at her nails, “But, I understand if you don’t want to talk to me anymore. It was a weird thing to do.”

“I still want to be your friend, Ellie,” you sighed, “I just need to see this journal, like now,” you watched as a small smile flashed across her face and he shoulders seemed to lose all their tension.

“Yeah, we could head over to my dorm right now,” she began walking, turning her head back to make sure you were following her, “I’m sorry agai-”

“Ellie, if you apologize again I’ll jump you,” you teased, smiling up at her as you walked side by side.

“Doesn’t sound like much of a threat,” she teased back, voice low as she let out a small laugh.

-

As you walked into Ellie’s dorm, you instantly became nervous again, your guilt creeping up the back of your neck. The night Astrid was killed, you were in bed with Ellie, laughing as she traced circles into your inner thigh. She talked about how much she hated her professors, working and Brain Brew, and how weird everyone on campus was. Well, everyone except for you. 

That night you stayed up and watched 30 Rock on Hulu until Ellie fell asleep, Ellie’s laughter gradually fading into soft snores. Her head found a resting spot on your shoulder, her rhythmic breaths warming your neck. You slipped out quietly, walking back to your dorm with a shit-eating grin on your face, and fell asleep unassuming. 

Your fingers traced the outline of Ellie’s desk, as you eyed Astrid’s journal that was sat in the center of it. It was covered in green felt, her name embossed on the front of it in gold letters. You pulled out the chair in front of the desk, sitting at it to begin reading the book. You paused for a moment, wondering if you even wanted to open it. Flipping open the front page, there was the language you created in middle school on every page. Pages and pages, the book was filled. When Astrid said it would be up to you to solve her murder, she meant it literally. 

On the front page was printed “Fepi Quslo Vurte Dabru” which translates to “My Oculus Noctis Journey.”

“Fuck,” you cursed under your breath, finger brushing over the letters on the page, feeling the imprint the pen made on the paper. 

“What?” Ellie stepped forward, looking over your shoulder at the book, “You know what this says?”

You sighed deeply, eyes trained on the words, “Yeah,” you turned to look up at her, “I do.”

“How?” her tone was more curious than shocked, sitting on her bed as she watched you. 

“It’s a language we created in middle school,” you closed the book, stuffing it in your bag as you turned to stare at Ellie. You watched as she looked at you in amazement, eyes wide and mouth hung open. 

“You created a fucking language?” she asked, laughing a little, “Jesus, you Sagewood students are crazy.”

“Ellie, you also go here,” you laughed, leaning your elbow on the desk, “Plus, Astrid mostly created it. She was smart like that.”

Ellie looked at you again, a small smile playing on her face, “You’re smart too, you know.”

“Not as smart as she was,” your smile turned to a sad one as you looked at your knees, not wanting to cry again.

“Hey,” Ellie said, voice low as she tried to get your attention. When you looked up, she smiled at you, eyes soft, “You're really fucking smart, just remember that.”

You gave her a forced smile, looking back down at your feet, “Thank you,” your voice came out cracked, “I needed that.”

“What did the first page say?” 

“My Oculus Noctis Journey,” you replied, shrugging. 

“Oh shit,” she laughed, “she was involved with those freaks?”

You sat up straight at this, scanning her face, “You know about them?” 

“Sadly,” she replied nonchalantly, “I don't know much about them except that they exist. They tried to recruit me, but I don't think they know that I know that it was them.”

“What? What do you mean?” you asked eagerly, words coming out quickly. 

“They recruit people on campus but they make it seem like they are just regular clubs,” she recounted, “Like they had a ‘coding club’ and at the club fair they had this code that they asked people to encrypt, it was extremely hard too. I did it and they sent me this weird email, asking me to do more shit. I just kind of didn't respond but traced the email to their own web service.”

“I thought that the secret society stuff was just like rumors.”

“Nope,” she popped her lips on the ‘p’, “Real shit. I just don't know what they exist for or anything.”

“I think I may have to figure that out.”

[thefangirlfever]

Merry Christmas (a Miguel O'hara NSFW fanfiction, 18+)

Summary: You usually despise coming back home for the Holidays. You either get unwanted comments or questions about your job, you appearance, your love life… But this year, things are different. Your boyfriend is here with you and he is going to make you feel good.

Tags: NSFW, F/M, PIV penetration, fingering, established relationship, poor Spanish nicknames are back, poor attempt at dirty talk, slight finger licking, mention of oral sex, not proofread

Note: I woke up this morning and I was so frustrated to not find this fine-ass man under the Christmas tree that I had to take matter in hand. Enjoy!

==========================================

You were about to slip into your bed sheets when you heard a soft knock on the door. Who could it be at this time of the night? You carefully opened the door, making sure that it would not rustle or make any noise and you ended up face to face with Miguel. Just like you he had already slipped into his pajamas, horrendous, tacky Christmas themed pajamas gifted by your parents. A wave of heat immediately ran to your face when you noticed his little grin. You looked around the corridor of your family house, checking if anyone was in sight. It’s not that you weren’t enjoying your boyfriend’s presence but your parents have always been really conservative about these topics. And so, the two of you had to spend the night in different rooms. You spend the whole day holding hands in the most platonic way, not even daring to kiss each other, fighting off the urge to pull each other in a secluded room to just...have some fun.

“What are you doing here?”, you asked in a hushed voice. Miguel’s smirk only widened as he took notice of your undone hair, your face clean off any make-up and your loose pajamas.

“I thought I could give you your present a little in advance.”

You raised a suspicious eyebrow at his flirty demeanor.

“You know that we’re supposed to wait for tomorrow morning to open the presents, right?” You answered in a sarcastic tone while leaning over the frame of the door. You still kept throwing glances around, making sure no one would see the two of you. Miguel noticed that you were worried and it only made him want to tease you further. He leaned toward you, bowing a bit to be at eye-level with you and tucked a strand of hair behind your ear.

“I don’t think this is the kind of present your parents would like me giving to you in the middle of the living room, in front of everyone…” There was no way you couldn’t understand what he meant and you felt yourself smiling in a giddy way.

“You really can’t wait an other few days, can’t you?”

Miguel’s hands grabbed your waist tightly as he pulled you closer to his body. His warm breath still smelled like the hot chocolate you spend the day drinking and there was still a hint of the cookies smell you baked all afternoon all around him. You could have eaten him alive and still feel no shame about it. His hands were now waiting on your waist, waiting for your approval to let them hold your by your hips and even slip under your Christmas sweater…

“I don’t think I want to wait.”, he simply answered under his breath. “Please, let me in tonight. I’ve been good all day and I’ll be good all the other days… Just let me have you tonight.”

The urgency, the need in his voice were too hot for you to resist and you pulled him closer, the two of you stepping into your room while kissing each other as if you had forgotten how your lips tasted. Miguel didn’t waste no time as he closed the door behind the two of you and hastily pushed you toward the bed.

When the back of your knees hit the bed, you let yourself falling back onto the mattress while he towered over you. His eyes were already undressing you and his breath was growing heavier with each look at you. In a swift motion he removed his sweater, exposing his toned body to you. You sighed at the sight and then you realized how weird it was… Miguel and you were about to do it in your childhood bedroom. He looked so out of place inside this pink, overly girly room that had seen you growing up over the years. You couldn’t hold back a laugh when looking at him. He didn’t seem really bothered by it, in fact he was enjoying hearing you laughing.

Miguel crawled on top of the bed toward you, a small grin on his lips. His wide shoulders moved smoothly as he kept his eyes on you. You had no other choice but to crawl back on the bed until he had cornered you against the headboard. He couldn’t wait any longer to unwrap you and so, his fingers began lifting the hem of your sweater. His lips trailed up the curve of your stomach, roamed your sides and dipped between your breasts, tasting the smoothness of your skin. Each kiss got a pleased sigh out of you. Your cheeks began to heat up while his mouth followed the curve of your breasts up to your clavicle. When he felt your pulse under his lips, he groaned and his teeth began to nibble at your skin. The kisses were turning more heated and he was soon pulling, nibbling, lapping at your skin, waiting for it to break under his assault. He was about to mark your flesh when you whispered breathlessly:

“Miguel...stop...what if people saw them?”

It took him a few seconds to stop before he gave you a mischievous grin. His lips then found your jawline and your temple, kissing them feverishly while holding the other side of your face. Despite you being half-naked, you could feel your body getting hot all over the place. You wrapped your hands around his waist and your fingers massaged the small of his back, his dimples… He whispered into your ear:

“Come on, don’t hold back… Touch me…”

You slipped your fingers under the waistband of his pants and you began to fondle the flesh of his ass, while still being careful to not hurt him with your nails. Miguel laughed at the feeling and his warm breath hit the side of your face. His breath was getting sharper and the more you were lowering his pants, the harder it was for him to resist you. His free hand slipped between your two bodies and went straight for you crotch, massaging your core in a slow, circular motion over the fabric of your pants. You squirmed in your place, trying not to squeal louder as his movements get more forceful, but in the most pleasing way ever.

He could feel you getting wet even through the fabric and this only made him even more hot and bothered. He slipped his hand under the fabric and cupped your mound. The warm feeling of your throbbing sex made him groan and bite his lip, just by thinking of what he would do to you. You gasped at the feeling and leaned back over the pillows. He took this as an invitation and removed your pants and underwear in one swift movement before his hand could take back its initial place over your mound. This time, the feeling of your bare womanhood, hot and wet, against his skin made him moan out loud. His fingers toyed with you exactly like he always did, first prepping you to welcome him into your warm embrace. He made a game of teasing you, whispering either sweet nothing to you or filthy words while he was smearing your arousal all over your folds until his fingers were sticky. Today he stayed mainly quiet in order for the two of you to still be sneaky but you could still hear him muttering “fuck”, “so hot” and other things under his breath from time to time. Then his fingers would circle your entrance in a teasing way. You were usually too hot and bothered at this point to not beg for him to give it to you. Today was no exception. You were a whimpering mess under his fingers and as much as he enjoyed hearing you whimpering his name, he knew he had to keep you quiet.

His free hand covered your mouth and he whispered: “Shh cariño, you’ll have to stay quiet for this one. Think you can do that for me?”

You nodded your head slowly, your moans and answer muffled by his warm palm. His fingers finally entered your dripping hole and you sighed out of relief. Miguel kept teasing you further. Not only did he keep pumping his fingers in and out of you faster but he also resumed kissing your breasts, fully leaning his weight on top of you. You were becoming more and more agitated and as you moaned louder, he could feel your saliva coating his skin and his palm getting moist under your breath.

“You know if you don’t stay quiet, I will have to find something else to shut you up. What could I use to stuff that pretty mouth of yours?”, he asked in a sultry tone. You only grew more heated as his fingers flicked over your clitoris.

“You’d like this, querida? Show me how good you would take me.” You happily obliged as two of Miguel’s fingers slipped inside your mouth. You hungrily licked and twirled your tongue around them before sucking them with all your might. Miguel watched in awe; the sight making his cock harden at every flick of your tongue. His breath was growing more erratic and he couldn’t hold it any longer. He removed his fingers from your cunt, making you moan in protest around him.

“Just give me a minute, would you?”, he asked in a hushed tone before grabbing a condom in his back pocket. He yanked down his pants and tossed them across the room without any care while your eager hands helped him putting on the condom. He watched your fingers wrapping around his cock, holding him and he moaned at the sensation. When you had managed to put on the condom, your lips gave his tip a playful kiss, making him shiver.

“Please, baby, I want...I need you…”

You loosened your grip around his shaft and he positioned himself in front of your entrance. After rubbing his swollen tip against your folds, he finally penetrated you with a low groan. You were holding the sheets between your fingers in a tight clutch when he began thrusting into you. The two of your were soon rocking back and forth on top of the bed at a quick pace. Miguel's face was contorted in pleasure while your warm walls wrapped around him. He was laying on top of you, burying you with all his strength into the bed, making his pelvis rub against yours repeatedly. The fact that your body was writhing and jolting under him almost made him lose it. You were not in a better state. Your legs began to shake and your toes curled up when you felt him trying to reach deeper and deeper inside you, close to hitting your cervix. Your hands left the sheets and grabbed his butt that you moved to pull him closer to you. With your tight grip on his buttocks, Miguel groaned louder. Your bodies were forming only one entity and he was so deep into you that the slightest movement of him would made you writhe and whimper helplessly. He kissed you hungrily, trying to keep you quiet and enjoy as much of you as it was possible at the same time. The only sound that could be heard was the one of your skins slapping against one another.

You felt your orgasm approaching and his mouth had left yours. His moist lips were leaving a trail of kisses all along your jaw while he was whispering words of praise to you. If you kept going like that, you would make him so proud. He would fuck you relentlessly through the night. He didn’t even care if anyone heard you screaming his name.

And that’s how you came under him. Miguel swallowed your moans into his mouth by kissing you. Even if you were done, he certainly wasn’t and you would have to get used to him kissing you like this for the rest of the night.

================================================

Note: I suck at finishing stories. I’m so sorry.

I hope you liked this short work and all spend nice holidays!

[space-mermaid-writing]

Wednesday [IronStrange]

Summary:Tony fights Strange and his weird wizards on a regular basis. So when he is woken up by Jarvis and being told Strange is sitting in his kitchen, waiting to talk to him, Tony just knows that something is not right. What he does not know yet is that it will be a string of very long days.

Relationship: Tony Stark/Stephen Strange

Tags:enemies to lovers, time loop, time shenanigans, hero/villain, hero Tony Stark, villain Stephen Strange, morally gray Stephen Strange, being a villain is a point of view, protecting the timeline, suicide but it has no consequences whatsoever, open ending, hopeful ending, Stephen needs a hug, Stephen and the never ending day, angst, hurt/comfort, fluff, eventual smut, all the stuff you love

Ko-fi | Read it on AO3 | Masterlist | Word count: 4.2k | Previous | Next

Chapter 2: "It's Wednesday. Again!"

Tony woke up by the voice of Jarvis. “Sir, Doctor Strange has appeared in your kitchen.”

Tony opened his eyes wide. “What?”

“He is sitting at the table and said he won’t leave until you talk to him. He said it’s urg-…”

Before Jarvis had time to finish, Tony had already jumped out of bed and hurried off.

Tony stopped in the open doorway.

Strange was indeed sitting at the table, his hands resting on the top of the table. wearing his blue robes and that weird red cloak. He looked tired, with dark circles under his eyes, but with some unwilling hope in them.

“Hello Stark,” the sorcerer greeted him neutrally. Only then did he realize that Tony wasn’t wearing any gauntlet. Whenever he came to talk to Stark in the morning there had been some kind of weapon pointed at him. Still, he tried not to show too much euphoria. There could be some other explanation.

Tony stared at him. “Jarvis, what day is it?”

“It’s Wednesday the 5th, Sir. Shall I call backup?”

The engineer grinned, ignoring the question. “It’s Wednesday, again.”

Strange stood up so fast, his chair fell down backwards. “You remember?”

“I do.”

The sorcerer looked at him with a mixture of disbelief and awe. “It worked?” he checked anyway.

“It worked.”

They shared a long look. Longer than was likely appropriate for a hero and a villain standing in front of each other – unless they had some form of deeply suppressed feelings for each other. Which the two of them definitely did not.

That was the moment Jarvis chimed in. “Sir?”

Tony remembered that his A.I. didn’t know what happened and realized his behavior must be highly confusing. “Breakthrough in a time loop problem. We don’t threaten the wizard for the day, unless he does something sketchy and not authorized. Clear the day, we’ve got work to do. But coffee first.” He walked to the coffee machine, but stopped halfway and turned back to Strange. “And tea for you. I’ve got some iiiin…” he thought about it enthusiastically for a moment, then pointed to one of the kitchen cupboards, “… there.”

He opened it and the same box of chai was in the back. Not yet opened.

His good mood was contagious and both men moved highly motivated into the lab as soon as their beverages were ready.

This was indeed a big breakthrough for Stephen. It was the first time in two years someone remembered a conversation they had on the previous day. Not having to explain himself meant a great deal.

He knew working with Stark had been the right decision.

On the downside, Jarvis still got reset and their notes from the day before were lost. But thanks to the fact Tony made him memorize the important parts and to Stark’s own mind, they were much faster in getting to the point where they had stopped the previous loop, so that there was actually some progress instead of just replicating everything over and over again.

Tony looked up from the Starkpad he was scribbling on to Stephen. “We should do some more tests. For once I’ll actually remember the results and have more data to work with. We should also run the same tests on me to see if something changed since I joined you.”

"That would have been more effective if we had some before-and-after comparisons," Stephen said.

“Jarvis is constantly monitoring my vital signs, so he’ll be able to provide the control data.”

The doctor tilted his head, hearing this, and tried to phrase his next words carefully. “That kind of data controlling can be seen as rather invasive.”

Tony understood his concerns. The frequency of data breaches was becoming a growing problem in society. But Strange didn’t know Jarvis like he did. Where Tony was, there was Jarvis.

“He has reason to. My powerhouse of the cells hasn’t always been this clean.” He tapped on his shirt where the lights of the arc reactor glow gently under the fabric. It was probably the understatement of the decade, but he didn't want to open the bottle that was the story of his palladium poisoning.

It was also the story of another seemingly unsolvable problem he had solved in the end. With the simple solution of inventing a new element. Easy peasy. Time travel couldn’t be harder, could it?

Tony was glad the sorcerer let the topic slide anyway, and they started to do various scans and blood tests on both Strange and Tony.

There wasn’t much of a change in Tony’s results. Stephen still pointed out that his magnesium levels were low and calcium high – like the doctor he was.

Tony had run several in-depth background checks on him the first time he had encountered him. His doctor title and his PhD was a medical one.

While Jarvis was processing more data, Tony pulled up a list he had written in the last hour. “I’ve got some more ideas we should try out: first, I’ll monitor you at midnight when the reset is happening. Then we should alternate between time zones to see if midnight PST is a fixed point of time or if it varies.”

Those were good points and showed how thoughtful of a scientist Tony actually was behind his PR persona and Iron Man mantle.

“Can we pull Jarvis into the loop?”

Strange shook his head. “While it would be interesting to test if he has a soul the spell could latch on, it only works on organic humanoids. Besides that, there should only be one link at a time or it can become harmful for the ones involved.”

Tony made a sound of understanding and put that point at the bottom of his list. For now they had enough other options.

“Speaking of,” Stephen continued, “we should renew the spell. If you are still interested.”

“Yes, sure. Let’s do it. J, don’t freak out. I’m about to get involved in a magic trick.”

“And just when I thought the day couldn’t get any weirder…” the A.I. said in the most dry voice.

Tony raised his hand and watched the same yellowish thread as yesterday being woven around his wrist. Again, he felt the warm tingle up his arm. This time they went right back to work afterwards. They ordered food in and threw around ideas while running more tests for the rest of the day.

A few minutes before midnight, Tony pointed his scanner back to Strange. “You said you think this is part of a science problem. Could it be that someone accidentally or knowingly built a device that caused this?”It would be a classic super villain trope.

Strange considered it. “It is possible. Maybe I’m not affected because of the Eye.”

“Right. Time magic?” Tony eyed the necklace and Strange nodded. “Maybe I should wear it to see if you’re not affected without it. But then it would be a pain in the ass to explain everything to you if you don’t remember this anymore. Maybe we use a third neutral party we instruct…”

“I swore an oath to protect the time stone,” Strange interrupted him sternly. “I will not hand it to anyone.” He did that stern face thing, which unfortunately was kinda hot.

Tony deflected that thought immediately. “Alright, Gollum. Got it. No touchie.” Although he had been allowed to scan it earlier.

The engineer looked back at his screen. “I think I’m getting something. An increase of power similar to-…”

_____________________

Tony woke up to the voice of Jarvis. “Sir, Doctor Strange has appeared in your kitchen.”

He got out of bed and walked into his bathroom. “That’s fine. We’re working on a time loop problem. Start the coffee machine and clear the day.”

It was a weird feeling to wake up without actually going to sleep before. Just as Strange had described it. Like he had blacked out for a moment. A very long moment. He put on a fresh shirt, although he hadn’t worn the one from before yet. Then he walked to the kitchen.

Stephen had made himself at home and had taken the operating coffee machine as a sign to help himself to some tea.

“You’re earlier than usual,” Tony noted with a glance at his watch.

“Normally I take some time before I come over. Meditating and trying not going crazy over having the same conversations over and over again. That didn’t seem necessary today.”

Tony nodded in understanding and emptied half of his mug. “So, there were some readings. Similar to you using magic. But different.”

“Different how?”

“Hard to say. I got reset as well before I could get a better look at it. We should try again today and also change the time zone. I could fly us to japan.”

“Or, you know, I can open a portal straight to it to save some time.”

Tony froze.

“That’s not an option,” he said after a pause a second too long.

“Why not?”

Of course Strange asked. It was a fair question. Tony didn’t really want to talk about it though. The memory of the attack on New York, and the nuke and what he saw in space, made him shudder.

He became defensive. “It’s just not an option, okay?”

Stephen crossed his arms, willing to bring his point across. “Not really. Flying by plane, even with a private jet, costs a lot of time and we’re not able to do much while on it. It’s a waste of time and I don’t understand why you insist on it,” he pressed.

“Because I don’t want to step through a portal ever again! Nor do I want it in my home or anywhere else near me!” Tony shouted angrily and it made Strange pause and look at him through his eyes as a doctor. He noticed the shaking shoulders and the hands balled to fist.

It was fear that was showing underneath the outburst.

In a neutral voice he asked, “How do you think I get into your kitchen every morning?”

Tony closed his eyes shut before opening them again. “I’ll just pretend you didn’t ask that. For the sake of both of us.”He was this close to throwing the man out and having a minor breakdown in the middle of his lab. For a moment he thought Strange would continue arguing, but the sorcerer remained quiet.

Silence spread. In lack of something better to do and just to do something Tony looked into his empty coffee mug.

Then, suddenly: “I can’t take a car to the airport.”

Strange’s voice was stripped of all emotions. Tony, who had come across an article from a car crash in 2016 while doing his background check on the wizard, nodded. “How about we just travel individually?”

That worked for both of them. They also agreed that instead of going to Japan on the other side of the world, they would just go to Malibu, California. That was still a time difference of three hours and they could work in Tony’s personal lab in his mansion.

~~

Sitting in his private jet, Tony was regretting his latest life choices.

The rush of excitement he had felt the first day facing this unique problem and the scientific urge to solve it had faded quickly. It shouldn’t surprise him. Barely anything good ever came from the wizards.

Why did he even agree in the first place?

Curiosity killed the cat.

Working with Strange was annoying already. All the reasons why Tony didn’t like him were shoved right into his face. Stupid magic giving him stupid anxiety attacks.

It took a lot of willpower not to have a drink in his hand right now. He played with his phone in his hand to distract him from that thought.

It was a five hour flight to Malibu. They had arranged a time when they wanted to meet and Tony had provided a photo of his front door because apparently wizards needed visuals to create portals. That was an interesting fact. Though it raised more questions.

“How did you get into my penthouse in the first place then?” Tony surely would never invite him, even if he didn’t remember. Especially if he didn’t remember.

He didn’t like Strange’s answer a bit. “As a sorcerer I have other means to get good looks of places. It is more polite to ask beforehand but you understand I was in a unique situation.”

Tony did understand but it still felt like his home had been invaded and that just made him more angry. Sure, nothing was stopping him from turning around and going back to New York, forgetting about this whole ordeal – literally. But that was the thing that made him agree to this in the first place: not remembering felt like being ripped of his own choice. Of his life. Of his free will. Besides the scientific aspect to it he wanted to explore. And of course his ever present urge to help. Even if it was his nemesis.

Tony sighed. “Jarvis, call Rhodey.” He needed someone to talk to and his friend always had advice. Most of the time Tony chose to ignore it, but he appreciated it anyway.

It took some time until Rhodey answered the call. “What’s up, Tones?”

“Honey bear, good to hear your voice. Are you at work? Am I interrupting you?”

“Kinda, but it’s fine.” Rhodey quietly gave instructions to someone in the room. Then it sounded like he stepped out. It couldn’t be too important if he was willing to talk to Tony without complaining directly about him calling.

“Good. I’m always happy to distract the best Colonel the air force has ever seen.” He could practically hear his friend rolling his eyes and smiled fondly.

“I want that printed on a plate,” Rhodey said. “So, what’s up? Why are you calling?”

“Like I said, I just wanted to interrupt you. Maybe annoy some generals if they happen to be nearby. You know me; I can’t resist.”

“Tony…” His voice was warningly and Tony knew if he didn’t want his friend to hang up on him he had to speak now or forever hold his tongue. Tony had never held his tongue once in his life.

“Alright, you got me. Did you happen to notice anything unusual today? Or yesterday. Like globally.”

“Why? What happened?” Rhodey was all business in an instant.

“It’s complicated, but it’s not a crisis – yet. Probably won’t be one in the future,” Tony explained evasively.

It didn’t reassure Rhodey at all. “Do I need to call someone?”

“No. You won’t even notice there might be a problem. I’m working on it. And that’s the thing, you know. I’ve been consulted on this project by someone I would have never guessed. In the ‘I kinda hate his guts’ sense. But this thing, it’s bigger than us.”

There was a pause in which Rhodey took in what he had just been told and all the layers to it Tony hadn’t said. He really knew his friend well.

“Sometimes we have to put our differences aside, Tony. If it’s really that important.”

He was right. Of course he was.

“And if they annoy you too much you can always screw them and do it alone. They came to you after all.”

“For this I actually need him too. For once my own abilities aren’t enough.” It wasn’t as hard to admit as he thought it would be. He wouldn’t even know there was a problem without Strange’s soul spell thing.

“Wow, I definitely want that printed on a plate,” Rhodey said, thoroughly impressed. “Wait, we’re not talking about Doom, are we? That guy’s mad and you shouldn’t work with him on anything.”

Tony snorted. “No, it’s not him. I respect Victor’s work even if I don’t approve of his aesthetic choice. He is way too dramatic and phantom of the opera like.”

He deliberately didn’t mention that Strange was the person in question, because he didn’t count as one of the good guys either. Quite the opposite in fact.

While War Machine had never joined one of the matches they had with Strange, the wizards had managed to cross all branches of the military often enough to be on their list.

“Alright, I guess I’ll continue working on the project. But what do I do if he keeps pushing all my buttons?” Tony asked.

“You’re smart and very petty. I’m sure you’ll think of something.”

“That I am.” Tony smirked. “Thanks platypus. You’re the best.”

“I know. Call me before you come into a situation where you need to hide a body.”

“No promises.”

When Tony ended the call he felt much better already.

~~

When he pulled up in front of his mansion, Strange was already waiting for him. The speck of blue looked so very out of place and the first thing out of Tony’s mouth was, “Do you ever wear something normal?”

Stephen looked down at himself. "This is practical and comfortable." He sounded reserved, as if he was trying not to provoke another argument.

Tony led him into the house. “We are doing science here. This isn’t a magic field trip. Jeans and a t-shirt would be sufficient.”

He didn’t get an answer but when turned around the sorcerer had changed his outfit at some point in the last five seconds, and was now wearing dark pants and a burgundy shirt under his cape. Tony looked up and down on him, but it was hard to tell what he thought about it under the dark-tinted sunglasses he was wearing. And boy, was he glad he was wearing them. He had never seen the sorcerer out of his ancient robes and he hadn’t been prepared for it. Who would have thought that the wizard could rock a normal outfit?

Instead of commenting on it, he changed the topic.

“We should set some ground rules.” They probably should have done this on the very first day. Strange gestured to him to continue.

“You know Jarvis is monitoring everything. We’re working together on this but he will tell me if you do something suspicious. He has the authority to intervene at his own discretion should he deem it necessary. Besides coming and leaving through the kitchen, I don’t want any portals in my house. I don’t want to see any portals anywhere near me at all. And I want you never ever under any circumstances meddling with my head with your magic.” Tony stressed that last point.

Stephen had already realized that these were all sensitive issues for the engineer. There was nothing in the rules that he hadn't expected.

“What about emergencies regarding the portals?” he asked.

Tony thought about it. “It has to be a world threatening or a life-or-death scenario to make it an emergency. Since both didn’t happen on a Wednesday, I doubt it will be on future Wednesdays.”

Stephen accepted it with a nod.

“So, what are your rules?” Tony asked the man. “Don’t look so surprised. This goes both ways.”

It didn’t happen often that Stephen was surprised by someone’s request. Especially since he was trapped in a time loop, he was used to knowing exactly what everyone was going to say. Or at least able to predict it vaguely. But he hadn’t been prepared for this. In fact, he had been ready to comply with almost any demands Tony would have made, simply because he needed his help. And Tony didn’t ask for this. He was there because Stephen had pulled him into this mess. Right now, Tony was looking at him expectantly, so the sorcerer pondered a moment about the question.

“Since you stopped forgetting everything, I will be more guarded to certain information regarding the order of the Mystic Arts to protect it. You’ll understand that some details are too sensible to share with someone who will probably continue to fight me after this is over.”

“That’s not really a rule, but sure. It’s NDA 101.”

Still, it was the only thing that came to Stephen's mind right then. When he added nothing more, Tony shrugged and led him to his lab downstairs. Most of the tools and equipment he had taken with him when he moved to New York, but it was still fully equipped.

"We should do that bonding spell, before we miss the slot," he reminded Strange. It should be funny that he of all people, Tony Stark, hater of all magic, had to remind his enemy Doctor Strange himself, a certified wizard – or whatever – of a spell that affected them both. Voluntarily. But somehow he had a feeling that after their argument earlier, Strange would be reluctant to even bring it up, let alone perform the spell.

And he was right, because Strange stopped looking around the lab and turned his head to Tony instead. “Are you sure you still want to? I understand if you changed your mind. This is a unique situation.”

For someone called a villain he was very considerate here. Once more Tony wondered what their lives would be like, if maybe they had met under different circumstances. They worked pretty well together, aside from having different opinions on magic. And the sorcerer definitely looked handso-… nope he wouldn’t go there. Not now. Not here. Not at all, with any luck.

“Now you are repeating yourself every day. I told you: I don’t like it if someone messes with my head. I want to remember what I did and what happened. I did my fair share of blacking out in college and in my early twenties. Been there, done that, moving on. If you ask me the same question again tomorrow, I’ll be pissed.”

Strange looked relieved. He didn't admit it, but he was glad that Tony had decided to stay with him. It had only been two days, but it felt like the engineer was now the only thing keeping him sane. If he was honest, he loved the fact that Tony was unpredictable. Had always been, but now even more so.

Hearing Stark’s reasons, he understood. He didn’t know what happened to the engineer that caused him to guard his mind so ferociously, but as a brain doctor and someone who relied on his own mind a lot, it wasn’t hard to imagine how frightening and confusing it must be to not remember something so big as whole days. He had presented Tony with his own formulas and theories, but Stark had lacked the context and the path to get there. It must have seemed to him as if a thought that he hadn't even had yet, but which he knew was his, had been extracted from his brain and then served to him as a finished dish. Or as if someone else had taken over his body and his mind for a while and then just left, while Tony never noticed that someone had been there in the first place.

They settled the bond before they plugged in the scanners. There were still a few hours till midnight in New York, even more in California.

“We should do a world wide scan too. You know, just to rule out that someone built a time loop machine,” Tony explained.

Strange raised an eyebrow. “Your scanner has that kind of range?”

“No, but I can link it to my satellite and cover at least 65 percent of Earth with it. We’re doing the other side tomorrow. It will take a few seconds longer to give me the results, but with some luck I can take a look at them before we get reset.”

It was as good a plan as any and they started to work on it. Well, mostly Tony, since he was the engineering expert.

He was deep in thought, focusing on the equations on the Starkpad in front of him when someone tapped him on the shoulder.

“Hm?”He turned his head, expecting to see Strange. But instead the Cloak of Levitation floated in front of him.

“What?” Tony asked.

Hesitantly, the cloak held out a corner to him like a hand. Was it meant as a peace offering?

Fine, if it meant that it would be less rude to him.

Tony raised his own hand and shook the offered fabric.

Satisfied, the cloak then returned to Strange's shoulders. The sorcerer didn’t acknowledge the exchange, nor did he look up from his own work, but there was a small smile on his face.

_____________________

“So, it is linked to the Pacific Time Zone,” Strange greets him the next Wednesday morning in his kitchen. With a flick of his hand, Stephen conjured a bag from a bakery he had stopped by. Today felt like a breakfast day. He placed it on the kitchen table and Tony went to inspect it immediately.

“Yepp.” Tony popped the ‘p’, before he took a bite of a biscuit. It was filled with chocolate. “And, unfortunately, there’s no sign of a big time loop machine so far.”

“Would have been too convenient.”

“Yes, we don’t want to make it too easy, do we? Let’s work on breaking out of the loop. Where did you get these?” He waved the biscuit in his hand.

“Paris.”

“At least the Parisians are good for something,” Tony remarked, taking another bite.

Equipped with tea, coffee and the bakery's bag, they went into the lab. They filled Jarvis in on what was going on and then started working.

[captain-mj]

I'm begging for a second Ghoap Outlander part

Of course!

Ghost tried to escape this weird place. Keyword was try. 

Soap brought him food and untied him again. Ghost waited until he wasn’t looking to grab a small piece of wood to stash up his sleeve. He watched Soap back, getting annoyed with the staring. Soap softened when they made eye contact but Ghost looked away. 

Once he was done eating, Soap set the plate aside and gently tied him up, doing his best not to touch him. It was a small detail, but Ghost appreciated it nonetheless. 

Soap had a pensive look on his face, clearly thinking of something. He scanned over Ghost’s mask before smiling. “Ye look better. More color in your face today.” 

Ghost paused before realizing it was a joke, failing to stifle the small chuckle it got from him. He got flustered and glared at Soap who looked thrilled to get a reaction. 

“Sleep, okay? Ye look tired.” Soap put a blanket over him and left him. 

Ghost started to cut through the binds immediately. It took longer than he would’ve liked, but he managed. He slipped out of the door, surprised by how easy it was to simply break the lock. The hallways were mostly clear, but he still moved quickly. He didn’t want to stick around too long if he could help it. 

The Exit. 

It was so close. Right fucking there. 

Soap caught him just as he saw it and glared at him, arms crossed like he had caught a kid stealing food and not a grown man trying to regain his freedom. 

“Listen up yo-” He started to threaten Soap.

Soap grabbed him and threw him over his shoulder. Ghost was… surprised to say the least. They were the same height and he wasn’t exactly a small person. Soap started to carry him but he noticed he didn’t bring him back to the infirmary room he had been in. Ghost immediately started to fight again. He had no clue what this… deviant was planning on doing with him, but he wanted absolutely no part. 

Soap brought him to a bigger room. It had a bigger bed and it had a flag of some sort on the wall. The flag had a similar pattern to Soap’s clothing and Ghost tried to remember anything about tartans that he could. 

He dropped Ghost on to the bed and shook his head.

“Ghost, you really should not trito escape. You opened your wound again.” He sounded so admonishing that Ghost resisted the urge to salute him. 

Ghost looked down, realizing there was blood dripping through his shirt.

“You need to let me leave. I have people who will be looking for me.”

“No one has yet, so you’re going to stay with me for now.” Soap growled at him, stepping closer and Ghost instinctively leaned away. He roughly moved Ghost so he could lift his shirt and check the wound before rebandaging. The entire time, he kept a steady hand on Ghost’s chest. If Ghost started to breath a little heavier or pant, Soap would order him to breath. It was… odd. Worked like a charm though. Ghost immediately started to breath normally again each and every time.

He glared at Soap who looked amused.

“Once your people come, I will let you go. ‘M keeping ya safe, ya know?” His accent thickened as he looked away. Soap looked almost embarrassed. 

“Am I in your room?”

“You are in my room.” Soap confirmed.

Ghost realized he was sprawled on his bed and quickly sat up.

“You’ll be staying in here since ya don’t know how to behave on yer own.” Soap patted him on his thigh and went to his desk to start drawing again, which is what he was doing before someone told him his prisoner was wandering the halls. He sketched out the landscape quietly, allowing the scratching of the pencil to be the only sound in the room. 

Ghost stayed quiet as well but eventually, the softness of the bed and the bone deep tiredness he had been experiencing since he woke up that morning finally got to him, dragging him into sleep. 

Soap glanced over, seeing him curled up and snoring. He should’ve brought him in here ages ago. Poor guy already seemed more relaxed. 

Soap wished he would take the stupid mask off though. He’d have to think of a way to convince him. Maybe he could beg him. What little glimpses he got of his face meant he knew he was pretty. Very pretty. Even now, where Soap could only see his eyes, he knew he was gorgeous. 

The landscapes could wait. He started to draw Ghost, making sure to include each eyelash, the soft slopes of his body. Soap knew it was all muscle, bastard was heavy but Soap refused to set him down or show weakness, but he had never seen a man with such a…. Small waist in comparison to the rest of him. Despite how big Ghost was, Soap was sure he could fit his arms perfectly around him, pull him flush against his chest. 

Yeah. Ghost was really pretty. 

And Soap was going to make him his. 

[and-claudia]

His Heir pt 10 (Darth Maul x fem! Reader)

Taglist Here

Masterlist Here

Word Count: 2384

Warning: Breeding kink, SMUT, 18+ ONLY!, MINORS DNI, p in v, unprotected sex, (let me know if I missed anything)

I woke up anxious. I had gone to bed anxious. At this point, Maul and I have been having sex for nearly three months. We still used protection every time, not wanting to rush anything. But I felt as though I was finally ready to start trying to get pregnant. I just didn’t know how to tell him this. And what if he wasn’t ready? Then what? How would we continue on from that? 

It shouldn’t feel as awkward or daunting as it seems to me, after all, we both knew that this time would come eventually. But how do I tell him without just saying, “hey, I’m ready for you to put a baby in me.” 

I groaned at the thought as I got ready. Today would be full of meetings, so I wanted to be sure that I’d be comfortable in whatever I was wearing, but I also was not about to pass up the opportunity to piss Qi’ra off with my outfit. Anytime I wore something that caught Maul’s attention, she got mad, or maybe it was jealousy. Either way, it was entertaining, because the next day she’d try wearing a similar outfit to get the same attention and she’d be disappointed when she didn’t. 

I finished getting dressed and took one last look at myself in the mirror. I looked good and felt great and I knew Maul would agree. When I opened the door I was surprised to see Qi’ra waiting for me. She eyed my outfit before giving me a weird look. 

“Why are you so dressed up, it’s only meetings today?” She questioned. 

Yes, it was only meetings but it was meetings with some of the higher, wealthy members of Crimson Dawn. Semi-formal dress was expected, not our usual office attire. 

“I’m not. You’re underdressed Qi’ra. Did you not check to see who we were meeting with?” I asked. 

“No, it’s just a meeting. We’ve never worn anything fancy for meetings.” She argued. 

“Okay show up in that. See what Maul has to say.” I said casually, knowing it would get under her skin. 

“Tell Lord Maul I’ll be there soon.” She said quickly before turning away and heading in the direction of her quarters. 

I made my way to the meeting room and arrived about the same time Maul did. 

“Good morning, darling.” He said as I approached him, holding out his mug for him. 

“Good morning.” I smiled back at him. 

“I must say you look ravishing this morning.” He said, trailing one of his hands up my thing that was exposed by the slit in my dress. 

I tried playfully smacking his hand away but it remained on my upper thigh. 

“Stop it!” I laughed, “I would actually like to make it through this meeting without my mind wondering.” 

“Oh?” He raised an ‘eyebrow’ at me, “And what might your mind be wondering to?” 

He had that smirk that he knew drove me wild. 

“Oh, just my plans for tonight.” I teased. 

“Hm, is that right?” 

I nodded. 

“And, do tell me, what do these plans look like?” He asked knowingly. 

“Well… if you must know. It involves you and me…” 

“Go on…” He urged, taking his hands to rest on my hips, pulling closer so I was standing between his legs as he sat in the chair. 

This was my chance, the perfect opportunity to tell him. I took a deep breath to collect myself. 

“Well, I was actually hoping we-” 

The door opened causing me to jump away from him as Qi’ra rushed in. 

“Hello, Lord Maul!” She said, flighty forcefully from clearly seeing us so close. 

“Good morning, Lady Qi’ra.” He said before glancing at me. 

He definitely picked up on my shift in attitude. I subtly shook my head in an attempt to tell him it was okay, and not to worry about it. 

I took my seat to the left of Maul and Qi’ra took her’s on his right. We went through the briefing for the meetings before everyone else arrived. The meeting itself was fairly uneventful and went just as expected. 

Once we finished we were all dismissed to work on our other assignments for the day. For me, that consisted of typing up the report of the meetings and highlighting key points for Maul to review later. But as I stood and collected my things, Maul stopped me and asked me to wait and have a word with him.

When it was only the two of us left his gaze softened on me. 

“Are you alright?” He asked gently, “You've seemed off the past few days.” 

I nodded. My surge of confidence from earlier was long gone. I would have to wait until later to tell him I was ready. 

“Okay…” He clearly was not convinced, “We were interrupted earlier, but is it safe to assume that your plans included you staying the night in my quarters?” 

“If all goes well, yes.” I smiled at him. 

“Good, I’ll see you then.” He said as we both stood and he stepped over to me to give me a kiss on the forehead. 

We both went our separate ways. When I made it to my and Qi’ra’s shared office I went straight to my desk wanting to get my work done as quickly as possible. 

“Don’t think I didn’t see you flirting with Lord Maul, today.” She sneered. 

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” I said as I typed away. 

“Cut the crap. I saw you.” She said with her nose turned up in disgust. 

“As I said, Qi’ra, I have no idea what you’re talking about. So, please explain to me what you saw.” I said. 

“You and Lord Maul.” She said matter of factly. 

“Really?” I asked sarcastically, “What were we doing?” 

“Well, he had his hands on you for one.” She sassed. 

“Wait wait wait.” I laughed at her answer, “His hands were on me, so I was flirting with him? On what planet does that make sense? If anything it seems like he was flirting with me.” I pointed out. 

That shut her up. 

“Now, if you’d excuse me, I would like to finish my report. I have plans for tonight.” 

I could feel her eyes glaring at me every so often as I finished my report but it didn’t bother me. I wasn’t going to let her ruin tonight for me. Especially when it was such a big night as well. 

Once I was finished I cleaned up my desk and got ready to head out. 

“Where are you going?” Qi’ra asked as I stood. 

“Not that it’s any of your business, as usual, but I’m going to Maul’s quarters for the night. And before you say anything, he invited me over so once again, it seems like he’s doing the flirting once again, and not me. Have a good night.” And with that, I walked out. 

I smiled when I saw Maul exiting his office as well and when he saw me he smiled back. He walked over to me and offered me his arm and of course, I took it without hesitation. 

“Shall we get a jump on your plans for tonight, dear?” He whispered lowly in my ear causing a shiver to run up my spine. 

“I think that’s a wonderful idea.” I said back. 

He led us to his quarters where we wasted no time making our way to the bedroom. 

“You and these dresses, Yn, you’re trying to drive me crazy. Aren’t you?” He said as his eyes and hands roamed over my body. 

“Something like that.” I sighed, already feeling myself getting turned on. 

His lips finally found mine as he kissed me deeply, easily slipping his tongue in and exploring my mouth as if he’d never done it before. Subcausouly I began grinding my hips into his. 

“Eager, are we?” He teased. 

I could only manage a nod. 

He began to slowly force me backward. This was a dance I knew all too well at this point. I knew where his bed was without even looking. When we were right beside it, his hands gripped my hips and gently turned me around. His rough hands trailed up my spine to the top of the zipper on my dress. 

“Can I take this off?” He asked gently.

  “Please.”  

A quick kiss was pressed to my shoulder before I felt him begin to unzip it. Once the zipper was undone, he helped me carefully step out of the pool of fabric at my feet. I turned around and rushed to help him rid himself of his clothes as well. 

Seeing his hard cock never got old. Every time I laid my eyes on it, I couldn’t help but stare at it. Maul always caught me doing so and it always fed into his ego. 

Luckily though I was able to break my focus long enough to kiss him once again. I backed us up slowly as I sat down on the bed, Maul following me with his lips still on mine. Then I began scooting myself back to give him enough space to kneel on the bed as well. 

We continued to make out as our hands were all over one another. His were playing with my breast while one of mine reached down to pump his cock, and the other was on the back of his head, pulling him evermore closer to me. I knew the moment was coming and it made me even wetter. 

Maul pulled away from me and went to reach for the condom on his bedside table as he always did, but I reached over to grab his arm. He gave me a confused look. My heart began racing and all I could manage in response was a slight shaking of my head and a small whisper. 

"I'm ready, Maul." 

I could tell he wasn’t expecting that. 

"Are you sure, darling?" 

I nodded, "Yes." 

He smiled down at me before pressing his lips to mine. It wasn’t harsh like it was earlier. It was soft as his lips molded against mine. A small moan escaped my lips as I felt him rub against me. 

“Patience, love.” he said gently as one of his hands went to my cunt, “Maker, you’re so wet.” He mused. 

“For you.” I managed to mumble just before two of his fingers slipped into me causing me to gasp slightly. 

He began pumping them in and out, slowly working me open to take his cock. I took one of my hands and began rubbing my clit. A third finger was added as he continued his pace. I was close and I knew it. 

“Maul…” I moaned. 

“Say it, darling.” He said gently. 

“I’m close… want you inside me.” I sighed. 

He leaned down and capture my lips in a kiss. 

It was all a slight blur but the next thing I knew, I could feel the tip of Maul’s cock slowly sliding into me. I gasped and gripped onto Maul’s upper arms. It was just the tip but still, I could feel him already stretching me out. Although we’ve been having sex for awhile, this felt different. In some ways, I felt closer to him.

“Are you okay?” He asked, halting his movements and looking me in the eyes. 

I nodded, “Keep going.” I begged. 

“Tell me if you need me to stop, okay?” 

“I will.” 

He nodded before continuing to push into me. The stretch bordered on pleasure-pain in the best possible way. Again, although we have done this before, I could never quite get used to just how big he was. He gave me a few moments to get used to feeling. Then, after I gave him a slight nod he pulled back, every ridge caught just right. It wasn’t long until he had once again reduced me to a moaning mess. He had taken over rubbing my clit with one of his hands, while the other held himself up above me. 

“Close… Maul… Close.” I moaned. 

“I know, darling, me too.” 

And as if to confirm that statement, I could feel his thrust getting a little sloppy, and his cock slightly twitching within my walls. 

“You’re sure you’re ready? You really want me to fuck a baby into your tight little pussy?” He all but growled. 

His words caught me completely off guard. But it also was what ultimately sent me over the edge. 

“Yes! Fuck! Yes!” I screamed as my walls clenched around him. 

“Fuck, Yn.” He moaned as he came. 

The feeling of his warm ropes of cum painting my walls almost sent me straight over the edge again. He stayed sheathed inside me as we both tried to catch our breaths. I looked up at him from where I was still laying below him and saw something change in his eyes. They held a softness to them I had never seen before in all the years we’d known each other. As we both came down from our highs, I bit my tongue to prevent myself from saying I loved him. 

Instead, all I could manage to say was "Fuck..." It came out as a breathy whisper. 

Maul chuckled to himself as he carefully lifted me to sit up slightly and rolled onto his back, pulling me with him as his cock stayed buried deep inside of me. I let us stay like that for a little bit before I went to lift myself off of him, but he gently gripped my hips preventing me from doing so. 

"Stay... please." He said as his cock that was still hard, twitched ever so slightly. 

"Yeah... yeah of course." I said, settling back down and leaning forward to lay against him and bury my face in his neck.

I eventually fell asleep to the sound pattern of his breathing. I was quickly thrown deep into sleep from how spent I was. I vaguely remember him finally pulling out of me, hours later. A small whine left my lips at the loss of the feeling of him inside me. 

"Sh, my love, go back to sleep. I'll clean us both up in the morning." Maul whispered, rubbing my back to help lull me back to sleep. 

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[cyandreamsinwords]

Cut and Run — Pt 1 (BoaWT AU)

Is it weird to have AU's of your own fanfic AU...possibly, but after seeing another create post their own for their fic, I decided it might be fun to do so myself.

None of this is cannon to Burning of a Withered Tree, obviously, but because I plan to put them through the ringer with the main fic and drag it out, I'm going to indulge in a happier story line for a bit. it's like a treat, just for me! (1.4K)

Link to the main fic here

Pt 2

----------------------------------------------------

Sirius didn’t allow himself a moment to celebrate. Not when he felt the wind on his face for the first time in years, or experienced the vastness of the open forest he'd ran to around him. He could commiserate in all of that later. There wasn't time now.

It had been said in passing, the singular sentence that spurred him to action: “Perhaps your mother will do better with your daughter then she did you.”

Scoffed by one of the guards, the rare ones they allowed to walk the halls between the dementors, just to check to make sure everything was in order and in its place. He'd known Sirius from their mother's having been friends, though they themselves never getting on. He couldn't even recall his name, but he was positive it'd been something ridiculous. Stupid-name-forgettable-loser, having found his current predicament humorous, thought he'd rub a bit of salt in the wound.

"Perhaps your mother will do better with your daughter then she did you. Or maybe she'll screw her up too, who knows."

All he managed to do was force Sirius' hand. The visceral and instantaneous feeling of panic at the thought that Lyra was there, in that house, with his mother -- there was no choice, he had to get to her. Before any damage could be done, and she was forced to go through the years of pain he'd gone through.

He didn't remember much of how he got back to 12 Grimmauld Place, but somehow he'd managed to get there without being stopped or spotted.

It was just past one in the morning when he arrived. The street was empty, and all the lights in the place were off.

At some point he acquired a wand, and used it to get inside. He was silent, knowing that while he could fight his mother and Kreature off if need be, he wanted to make this as smooth as possible. In and out with Lyra before anyone was the wiser.

He checked his old room first. That's where his mother would no doubt put her. And sure enough, the signs of a small child were evident here. His once teenage bedroom had been converted into softer, frillier decor, but only enough to cover the immovable evidence of him (the large portraits of respectable ladies hung over his girls on motorcycle posters had been a clever touch).

But there was no little girl in the bed.

Sirius was confused. It was night, and she obviously did live here. So where was she?

Just as careful as when he entered, he scanned the house up and down. And no sign of his daughter. He nearly woke Kreature at one point, sleeping in his little nook, but was quick to sedate him.

She wasn't here. He looked up and down, becoming more and more desperate with every second, but there was no sign of her. Had the guard just said that to get a ruse out of him? Had his eyes been playing tricks on him upstairs?

It was nearly two now, and by this point, he knew his daughter wasn't in the house.

He let himself out the back this time, resisting the urge to slam the door shut. He cursed wildly in frustration for having come so far and still find nothing. He was losing precious time, time he needed to take his daughter and find somewhere safe to hide where the dementors couldn't find him.

Coming down off the back step, he tripped on something, landing in the grass with a thud.

And when he looked up, it was into big grey eyes just like his own.

For a good long minute, the two of them just sat there, staring at one another. Him in disbelief and her in shock and fear.

"...Lyra?"

The little girl, with long dark curls and wide eyes gave him no indication, but he hardly needed one. He knew his little girl. So different than when he'd left that night, now three years old, and so so different.

He began to stand and started to walk toward her. "Lyra!"

She scrambled back, frightened. His heart dropped, and try as he might, he couldn't stop the disappointment at her reaction. He understood it--a strange man still dressed in his jail rags showing up in the middle of the night, calling her by name--but it was just a reminder of the years he'd missed.

"Hey, it's okay," he soothed her, holding himself back from scooping her up into his arms and running for the hills. He lowered himself back down to his knees, to look smaller, less threatening. "I know you don't know me, but--"

"I know who you are."

A voice. When he last saw her, she hadn't been speaking yet, just babbling, learning from watching how to form words. She'd been just getting da-da down. Now she could speak real words, knew how to string sentences together.

"You do?" His heart was racing.

"You're my father." Her arms were wrapped tightly around herself.

"I am," he confirmed, feeling a tremble in his lip. "What are you doing out here Lyra? You should be inside in bed."

She eyed him suspiciously. "Grandmother said I had to learn a lesson, and I'm not allowed back in until I do."

Sirius had spent most of his life hating his mother, but in that moment he could go back in and strangle her in her as she slept. She'd been bad when he was growing up, but to lock a three year old outside, over night no less--it was unforgivable.

"Is that why you're here?" her voice shook. "Because I've been bad? Are you here to take me to where you went?"

"No," he whispered softly, shaking his head, not wanting to imagine Lyra there in that place. "No, you've been perfect, Lyra. I'm sure of it."

"Then why are you here? Grandmother says you were bad, that's why they took you and locked you away. Because you didn't listen."

Sirius snorted. "Well, have you met your grandmother? She's pretty bad herself. Wouldn't you agree?"

Lyra said nothing, just shyly wrapped her arms tighter around herself.

He held his arms out, ignoring the nervous shake in them. "Come here. You must be freezing."

There was some hesitation, a long terrifying moment that she simply eyed him up, like she thought he'd suddenly turn on her, before she began to inch closer, coming just far enough within reach to allow him to wrap his arms around her.

For the first time in over two years, he got to hold his daughter in his arms. This was the moment he waited for, when he finally allowed himself to acknowledge the fact that he was out, he'd escaped. He didn't want to spook her with his sudden sobs, just buried his face into her long, tangled hair. When she relaxed into his arms, resting her head against his shoulder, the way she used to when she was small and fresh to the world, a choked sob escaped him, and he began to cry in earnest.

"Why are you crying?" she asked him, pulling back.

"I just missed you so much, Mini Moon," he sniffled, trying to put on a brave smile. "So, so much."

One of her little hands wiped at the track of tears along his cheek. "And that's why you're crying?"

He wiped the other side away. "Yeah. But it's okay, because we're together again." He brushed the curls from her face. "I'm going to take you with me, okay? We're going to go live together somewhere safe, far from here. Does that sound good to you?"

"Kreature is supposed to let me inside in the morning though."

"I'll send him an owl letting him know what's going on," he lied to put her mind at ease. "He'll understand, you're supposed to be with me, not her. I'm your dad."

She frowned worriedly. "But are they going to take you away again? The people who did the first time?"

He shook his head, a sense of determination coming down on him. "No, never again. There's nothing that's ever going to take me away from you again. It'll be just me and you, Mini Moon."

Looking back toward the house, she thought for just a moment. "...okay. We can go then."

He stood, his little girl wrapped in his weak and malnourished arms. "Let's go then. We're going to go somewhere safe, and then I've got to go and pick up your godbrother, okay?"

[nakachuchu]

Christmas Cookies | Fushiguro Megumi

SYNOPSIS: You bake cookies with your boyfriend on Christmas morning in your apartment.

READER: gender neutral

WORDS: 1k

WRITTEN: 01/01/2023

NOTE: This is for @https-sanjis-bitch 's Baby It's Cold Outside collab! Happy new year! (even though I wrote this piece around Christmas lol)

"Megumi," you whispered. "Merry Christmas."

You were so excited for Christmas that your body woke you up on its own. You had been waiting for Megumi to wake up on his own, watching his facial features for the slightest twitch.

He rubbed his eyes, then blinked away the blue and crusts. You smiled and took a picture of him, making him grumble in protest.

"Merry Christmas," he murmured sleepily. "What time is it?"

"Ten," you said. "It's snowing outside. Come look."

"Give me a second," he said, pulling his arms out from the blankets to stretch them above his head.

On instinct, you curled up against him and he brought his arms down to wrap you in them. You rubbed your face against his side before climbing on top of him.

"Snow," you urged. "Just from the window. I know you don't wanna go out."

Both you and Megumi were homebodies. You didn't go out unless it was necessary, but both of you liked it like that.

You climbed off him and stood by the window in your room, beckoning him to get out of bed and join you. He threw his legs off the bed and slipped his feet into slippers before joining you.

"It's pretty," you said.

He nodded. "We should check the water to make sure our pipes aren't frozen."

"My boyfriend, always the smart one," you said with a soft peck to his chin before shuffling toward the bathroom.

While Megumi checked the water in the kitchen, you checked the bathroom. He joined you after, informing you that the water was flowing.

"We're good here too," you said as you handed him his toothbrush with toothpaste.

The two of you stood side by side, brushing your teeth together. It was routine when the two of you were together to simply do things together.

You spat the toothpaste out and rinsed your toothbrush, moving to the side to let Megumi do the same.

"Can we bake cookies today?" you questioned. "I ordered Christmas cookie cutters online and they came a few days ago. I've been wanting to bake cookies with you."

"Sounds good, dove."

With a smile, you skipped into the kitchen and started a pot of coffee going for Megumi. You drummed your fingers along the countertop for a moment before suddenly remembering that the occasion called for Christmas music.

" 'gumi, can you get my phone?" you called out.

He didn't respond, but you knew he heard you. He liked to preserve his energy and talking seemed to be tiresome at times.

He walked into the kitchen and handed you your phone before nudging the side of your head with his nose. You unlocked your phone and played a Christmas playlist while Megumi sniffed you.

There wasn't a weird reason for him to sniff you. He just liked how you smelled. He reminded you so much of a puppy sometimes.

"Could you get the ingredients, 'gumi?" you asked.

"Sugar cookies, right?"

"Yep!"

He kissed your forehead, then pulled up a sugar cookie recipe from his phone and began pulling out the ingredients from the pantry.

You danced to the songs, taking peeks at the recipe and getting out bowls, mixing spoons, and measuring spoons.

Megumi, with his long arms, carried everything to the counter and waited for you to start. Usually, when you baked anything, you did most of the work but that was because it was more efficient. Besides, Megumi liked watching you when you were completely mesmerized by something.

You could only focus on that thing, raging about with it. Your eyes were glued to his phone screen, reading the recipe as you poured flour here, sugar there, and vanilla extract into the bowl.

"Let me help," he offered.

Snapping out of your baking frenzy, you looked at him and handed him the wooden mixing spoon.

"I'm too lazy to stir," you said simply.

He rolled up his sleeves and took the spoon, wrapping an arm around the bowl to begin mixing. Within one stir, flour flew out onto his clothes and cheek.

You blinked, holding in your laughter as he stood there frozen in silence. You couldn't hold it in and burst out laughing.

" 'gumi, are you okay? Did any get in your eye?" you asked through bubbles of laughter.

He dipped his fingers into the top layer of flour and flicked it at you, splattering across your face in clouds of white dust. You immediately stopped laughing, opening your eyes through blinks of white dust.

The two of you stared at each other before laughing. The two of you were completely covered in flour, and it was okay.

“Let me take photos. Hold on,” you said as you grabbed your phone and swiped to the camera.

The two of you took many selfies and timed photos of you being covered in flour. You laughed at the pictures of Megumi either frowning, rolling his eyes, or smiling when he thought you weren't looking.

“Okay, let's finally finish these cookies. I'll turn the oven on while you mix. Try not to lose all of our ingredients,” you teased.

He rolled his eyes. “I won't.”

Once Megumi was finished stirring, the two of you grabbed small balls of dough and flattened them on a clean tray.

“Should we make a snowman first? Or a Christmas tree? Maybe Santa?” you questioned.

“We'll get to all of them, so it won't matter.”

You frowned at him.

“Snowman,” he answered after seeing the upset look on your face.

You smiled and nodded, grabbing the snowman-shaped cookie cutter. “You can do the honors.”

“We can do it together,” he said quietly with a faint blush across his cheeks as he grabbed your hand and pressed down on the cookie cutter together.

You smiled. “This is fun. I love you, ‘gumi.”

“I love you too, Y/N,” he said.

You kissed his chin and placed the snowman dough onto the baking tray. “Let's do a Christmas tree next,” you suggested. “It reminds me of your hair.”

He stared at you with an unamused expression on your face. “You think you're funny.”

“I really do.”

[everlark777]

holding you is like the new past

next | previous

chapter six

i woke up with a text from armin, it read “hey, hope this finds you well! i know it’s quite early and you may not receive this for a bit. could we meet over coffee to discuss a few things? i’ll buy?”

i had to sit up, rub my eyes and read it again before i could fully comprehend that armin had just texted me. meet me for coffee? he wanted to see me before i had my morning coffee? did he want to get yelled at? i sat up and looked around my room from the night before.

i had fallen asleep at my desk working on a paper due for one of my classes, and crawled into bed around three in the morning. my clothes from yesterday were strewn about the room and all my papers were scattered about the place. i checked the time. i had about an hour to get my things together and make myself look presentable.

it had been two more weeks of class. two more weeks of armin and i actually being cordial. our little feud seemed like a hazy dream. one we both didn’t care to acknowledge.

i picked up my phone hovering over armin’s message before clicking on it. my fingers froze up on the keys. i didn’t know how to respond. he was so formal, should i respond in my scholarly email best or just respond normally?

i settled for, “sounds great, in about an hour?”

i paced around my room not being able to keep on track, mindlessly checking my phone for armin’s response. i didn’t know what i was doing. when i finally met up with armin almost two hours had passed.

“hey, sorry i’m late,” i huffed, pulling in a seat next to armin.

it was only eight but armin looked bright eyed, like he had been up for hours. today he was wearing a soft blue sweater that i had to fight the urge to reach out and pet. he looked softer than usual but i couldn’t quite put my finger on what was different.

“it would have been nice if you were here on time, but we mustn’t dwell,” armin scoffed.

it must have been the fact that it was eight a.m. on a saturday and i was sitting here with armin in a coffee shop but i bust out laughing. i mean heavy laughter, belly bending, strong breathless laughter.

“what could possibly be so funny?” armin puzzled.

“but we mustn’t dwell,” i copied in the most exaggerated british accent i could muster.

“who talks like that,” i said through heaps of laughter.

armin took a long look at me. he didn’t seem to be amused by my amusement. if anything it was bordering on anger.

“as a matter of fact, i do,” armin spit out, turning his head up in the air.

this got a good laugh out of me. by the time i caught my breath and looked up at armin, i could see a faint smile cracking through.

“i did not invite you here to be ridiculed, we need to discuss our project. as i have mentioned before, we have a good headstart and we need to stay focused. it might sound fun to goof around, but you decided you wanted to help me and this project is very important.”

armin’s tone shifted the entire mood. i felt my energy shift towards him. it was weird, it took a lot for my brain to focus up. when you have so many different thoughts screaming in your head all at once it’s hard to zero in on anyone thing, but armin had me shifting my entire focus forward.

i knew this project was important. we needed to complete it to graduate, but it was more than that. the good ideas went far. some people have gotten jobs exactly where they wanted to be due to their research and experiments on this project.

“i’m serious about this, i promise,” i held armin’s eyes intently, wanting him to know i meant it.

“i just haven’t had coffee yet and i honestly planned to sleep in today,” i rubbed my eyes and as if on cue let out a yawn.

“here,” armin hands me his card, “i already told them i was meeting you here, they'll give you my discount and everything.”

i hesitantly grabbed the card. i was all for free coffee, but i didn’t know how to accept it from armin just yet.

“i got next time,” i spit out trying to make the guilt lessen.

armin nodded and then shooed me off towards the counter.

—--

i walked into the coffee shop around closing time. armin and i were going to try and tweak an experiment we ran in class today that didn’t go exactly to plan. i checked my phone, no missed texts. i looked around but didn’t see armin. he was supposed to be there.

“boo.”

i jumped about ten feet and turned to be face to face with armin.

“why would you do that,” i said, clutching my chest.

armin let out a laugh.

“sorry, i just thought i had a perfect opportunity, i’m trying to be more fun since someone is convinced i’m a rigid weirdo” armin flashed a smile at me.

my mouth fell open, “i don’t think that,” i protested then realized i had more than likely said those words to mikasa last week, but right now we were acquaintances and i didn’t want him to know what i was thinking.

class had been a lot easier since we had finally started getting along. armin wasn’t that bad to be around. once you got past his know-it-all attitude maybe there was a decent person there.

“well, you got me,” i said still trying to catch my breath.

armin and i had about a ten minute walk to the lab. out here there were people around, but we would be alone in the lab. i felt nervous just thinking about it.

“so, how’s college life treated you these past few years.”

it was a brave statement. i felt as if our past didn’t exist. like we shouldn’t acknowledge the fact that we had met prior to that day in class. i looked over at armin to see if he felt weird about it but his expression didn’t change.

“boring, tough, exhausting, surprising, exhilarating, did i say exhausting,” i huffed out a laugh and met with armin’s eyes before he looked away.

“how about you?”

armin rubbed a hand over his face and then looked at me. our eyes catching during conversation had become ritual. always only making enough eye contact to look normal. never looking at each other for too long like if we did we might see something written in each other's faces.

“all of those things but maybe two more exhaustings?” armin huffed out.

we were getting closer to the lab but for some reason i found myself asking, “so i know we are supposed to be working on our project but i’m going to go out on a limb here and say, what if we ditched the lab and did something fun?”

armin looked quickly between me and the science building.

“are you doing eenie meanie right now?”

“maybe?” armin cracked a smile.

“well, could you hurry it up? i’m thinking about warm noodles and maybe watching a movie? I don’t know, it’s been so long since i've had any kind of fun. i don't even know what fun is anymore.”

“if you’re looking for fun, my buddy connie is throwing a party back at our apartment.”

at this my ears perked up. a party? i had heard about connie simply because he threw legendary parties. i couldn’t miss this.

“one question, could i invite a friend?”

[slendytubbiesdeaddove]

Filth Chapter one

Laa-Laa woke up one morning to something so horrifying, she punched it in the face. This was because it smelled so horrible that she actually gagged. She keeps using ‘it’ because she wasn’t sure if this was actually a Teletubby.

It stumbled backwards into something with a yelp. It had been crouching down in front of her so no she was not overreacting.

“That wasn’t very nice.” It appeared to pout a bit while rubbing the back of its head.

“You’re the one hovering over me like a fucking creep!” Laa-Laa tries to stand up, but something pulled her back down. She glares down to see something cuffed around her wrist which was attached to a pipe coming out of the dirty hard wall behind her.

If she tilts her head to the side, as far as her neck with allow, she could see bright lights shining somewhere behind it.

“Where the hell am I?” She usually only swore around Dipsy.

“Underground.”

Yeah, thanks, that sure answers her question.

“For fucks sake, WHY am I underground?” The more she looked around, the more dirty she felt.

“You kept trying to leave the Main Land too many times so Lucky decided you would stay down here with me.” He sounded and looked very happy about this.

“What are you even talking about?! I can’t stay here, they’ll notice I’m missing!”

“No they won’t,” he insisted, “they got their minds wiped so they don’t even remember that you exist.”

Laa-Laa’s jaw dropped. For a few seconds because this just ended up with practically inhaling the filthy scent. “Main land? Minds wiped? What are you yapping about?!”

He makes his way for where the bright lights are coming from. “I’d explain, but I have to get back to work, I’ll check on you when they start eating lunch.”

Laa-Laa scowls but doesn’t say anything because the guy going away was better than him being too close.

On hour passed and she has run into a problem. She crosses her free arm over her stomach and tenses up her muscles. Her green eyes desperately scan her surroundings. Even if she were able to spot something that looked like a bathroom, she wouldn’t even be able to reach it.

Laa-Laa will die before she asks some creepy guy for help so instead she crossed her legs and begged her body to just hold it until she thought of a plan.

She opened her eyes when he came back, smell gave it away. He seemed to be holding a weird small bag.

“Hi, I’m back.”

“I can see that you moron.” She grits her teeth. “Where the fuck even is the bathroom, surely you have to use one at some point.”

Her belly filled with dread at his confused expression. Then seemed to have an ‘OH’ moment.

“Sorry, I don’t have one of those.”

...WHAT.

“What the hell do you do then?” He had to be joking, who didn’t have a bathroom?!

“I just go a bit into the sewers and then just go there and then come back here as fast as I can, I wouldn’t want to miss anything.”

Ugh, ew.

“Anyway, I brought you a sandwich.”

A WHAT now?

“After your dirty fingers touching it?” She wrinkles her nose at the bag, eating would just make the urge worse.

“My fingers aren’t dirty, but I haven’t touched the inside of it.”

She could just sit here and repeatedly refuse but she didn’t want to spend hours with this smelly guy close to her.

Laa-Laa grabs the top of the weird bag, careful to not accidentally touch the disgusting fur. Problem was that he been touching the bottom half so she had to open the bag without touching where he was touching.

“...Do you need help?” Unfortunately he planned on kneeling in front of her until she ate.

“Hell no.” She rips into the top with her teeth, and luckily could just eat it like this. It didn’t taste bad, it just didn’t taste as good as toast. “Can’t you go back to work instead of staring at me?”

“They’re eating lunch and I’ve seen it a million times so I’m not missing anything important.” He looks at where her wrist his restrained. “And you seem to need to ‘go’ so I need to walk you deeper into the sewers.”

WALK me? Just ignore him and continue eating.

She just wanted this to be over so she was quick as she could without choking and just threw the weird brown stuff aside.

“I guess you’re not eating the crust.” He takes the thing off the pipe but not the one around her wrist. Unfortunately he wasn’t that stupid.

Hopefully she might be able to force him to turn around since double ew to the thought of him staring at her body. If she wasn’t wrapped up in these thoughts, she might have questioned why he would have been watching them eat. And what did he mean by work.

[protokirby]

Last night.

I woke up at exactly 3:02. Times are a thing I remember for some reason of all things.

The dream I had woken up from was all forgotten instantly except for the last few seconds of it. It was just the sight of Crispin. (If Crispin is in a dream, my odds of remembering the dream are very very slim for some reason. Forgetting everything except a feeling that he was there. Only this time I distinctly remember seeing him) He looked surprised as flip and the angle was lowering as if it were pov: I'm falling. And the surroundings were just nothing but black darkness other than the Surprised Crispin.

That's when I woke up.

But as I was in the process of waking up, I was in the process of getting up- like full on lifting myself up- as drool was falling out of my mouth??? While I was still just waking up, I was getting up??? Somehow??? What the whirl- I had to replace my pillow cover because of the amount of drool. I don't have a history of creating puddles of drool in my sleep so that is somethin new to me. I have had a recent history of almost drooling after waking up but nothin like this lol It's a wonder I didn't feel the urge to go wash my hands. They were exposed to the river but I was too tired to care I guess? Just wanted to go back to sleep to be awake enough for church in the morning.

There was one time (years ago) that I stood up and got out of bed (back when I had a bed) the half second of waking up. This was a one time thing I had been wanting to do just to see what would happen. My legs gave out then because of course they would if I stand instantly after waking. Such concentration and focus it took to remember to do that and actually do it in less than a second of waking up.

But this time.

This time waking up at 3:02 in the morning.

I was getting up while still waking up and I don't even know what the how the huh?? And the drool! Huh??

But hey ya know. I'm weird at times so it's natural to assume something of that nature would happen one night or another. Still insane though and I'm of course confused.

But the main thing I'm wondering about is what even happened in the dream itself? I have a sneaking suspicion that I shielded Crispin from an attack at the moment before waking up which means that's most likely what happened. The visuals I remember check out too. So I don't have any doubt that's what happened.

And when I woke up, I had a special kind of disorientation that normally accompanies a wake up from a dream I have control in. So based on that, I can come to the conclusion that I had better thinking capabilities in that dream.

With thinking abilities, plus my typical knowledge that I am indeed dreaming, of course I would shield my imaginary friend from an attack. I just escape to the awake world if I die in a dream. Meanwhile, with the continuation my dreams tend to have, I wouldn't have an assurance that an imaginary friend isn't going to have a permanent death if they're killed. It's happened before :[ If I can help it, I will defend my imaginary friends with my imaginary life. I can come back every time I fall asleep. These folks that exist only in the mind do not have that option under normal circumstances.

Another thing is the pure black background. That certainly wasn't a heavily detailed location. Most detailed thing there was Crispin who looked exactly the way he does in the game. I think it was very likely that I had an awake-level of thinking power, not only because of the "I could control this dream" kind of wake-up-disorientation, but because this dream didn't sacrifice processing power in favor of graphics. At least in the last few seconds I remember where the surrounding area was just pure void.

All of this along with the fact that the dreams that contain Crispin that I'm able to remember at all have most often been totally fun adventures, I can say that this dream was definitely something else.

I'm annoyed that I have no idea what else happened.

Presumably big adventure that I definitely have my usual awareness and self-control for? Wowie. That's like- something that would be super awesome to remember.

Not really worth being annoyed about anyway but - I am. Currently a little bit annoyed that I don't remember. I'll get over it in a couple hours or less

I wonder if in heaven I would be able to replay my dreams on a projector thingy or somethin-

[ditzydisaster13]

I very clearly don’t post on here, but i feel like posting one of my writings because why not. if anyone likes my art o my writing please let me know and go ahead and follow me on wattpad @Starjade13

((Image above is simply edited))

Sleeping bags. Everywhere. Purple. Black. Red. Green. And Blue. Makeup; Lipstick. Eyeshadow. Eyeliner galore. Blush. Hair ties and combs. Curlers and straighteners. Bags of chips and cans of soda. There wasn’t a trash bag in sight. And this room; was a disaster. 

Denki woke up to the mess of Mina's room. Her pale pink floof peaking over the top of her Purple sleeping bag. Bakugou was settled in an Oliver green one; rolled half on top of Sero who was dead asleep in a black sleeping bag. He had somehow managed to get the entirety of his legs underneath Mina’s bed. 

Kirishima was in his signature red sleeping bag with hair and pajamas visible to match. He wasn’t far away from where Denki rubbed the sleep out of his eyes from his Blue sleeping bag. They were next to the door; Denki’s bag with his clothes and hygiene essentials against the wall. 

Denki searched the aforementioned age for two large rubber bands. It was still too early to change out of his pajamas. But it wasn’t too early to start cleaning up his objects. He rolled up his sleeping bag and bound his pillow to it with the two rubber bands. Next he grabbed his toothbrush out of his bag and went Into Mina’s attached restroom. 

He quickly brushed his teeth and dryer his face off. Deciding to use a small amount of lotion for his face: thankful he refused to let Mina put any makeup on him. He returned to her dorm room and settled all of his stuff in his bag, he checked his phone next. The device had been charging since the Sun first started to rise. 

Denki fell asleep late; or early morning depending on what you consider about 6am to be upon a sleep schedule. He grabbed at his phone. Tugging it away from the cord and very satisfyingly the cord itself detached when he pulled away his phone. He checked the time.

His blonde hair fell over his eyes, blocking his view. But it was 10am. It wouldn’t seem like a big deal to most people. But Denki was running on less than 4 hours asleep and everyone else was still dead to the world. Denki should have known what was going to happen when Mina’s phone buzzed. 

The pink girl stirred in her sleeping back and sat up. She rubbed at her eyes for a moment and yawned deeply. She was beautiful. It was weird. How does someone wake up naturally and gracefully. She stretched her arms over her head and spoke softly with a deeper tone.

   “Morning Kaminari-“ and she yawned again. Then reached down for her phone.

  “Morning Mina. Who is it?”

   “Hmm, it’s from the girls group chat. Let’s see,” she began and tapped into the group chats messages.

Suddenly she squealed. “Oooo!”  

  “What is it?” Denki asked suddenly on the edge. He wasn’t sure wether to be excited or worried. 

   “Help me wake everyone up first! Let’s go let’s go!” Mina urged shouting.

If the other weren’t awake before then they were surely not fully asleep any longer. Denki and Mina worked together to wake up the other three boys. It didn’t take long to wake everyone up. Bakugou woke up first; confused and angry. And his screams woke up the others. And soon after 

“What’s going on Mina?” Kirishima asked once he had calmed Bakugou down enough.

She squealed again and held up her phone viewing the messages from the group chat.

  “ Sato is making pancakes for breakfast. And it’s been like forever since it last happened! Tsu told me. So let’s all get-“ she never got to finish her sentence as the newly woken up boys all began to run for the stairs. Too impatient to wait for the elevator. 

Denki followed them all as quickly as possible. Overtaking Kirishima by accident when they reached the final staircase. The five of them raced down. As quietly as possible because half of the class was still asleep. Who knew if their sleep schedules were as bad as Denki’s. He for sure didn’t.

If they were, he felt bad; but again, he had no idea. He never left his room until 8am. That was the earliest he decided to let the world know he was awake. And the earliest he had ever gone to sleep in his life; (that he remembers-> but he asked and his parents said that as a baby till about 5 years old he wouldn’t even settle down until 10.) was Midnight.  

So if anyone was like him; ADHD, a stupid quirk, a poor sleep schedule, the need to take very quick naps just to function. Denki resumed his focus on the stairs only to be shoved out of the way (on accident) by a very excited and clearly hungry, as told by how his eyes lit up at the thought of food and how he licked his lips, Kirishima Eijirou. 

In the rush and blur of his friends, plus the force of the push; Denki was pretty much thrown backwards. Everyone was practically in the kitchen by now. But Denki was in the wall. He rammed into it. His side hit the banister but a bruised rib was the least I’d his worried. Because he was halfway off of one of the steps, he tried to right himself up, bent his foot wrong, and slipped down the rest of the stairs. 

By now half of the class was in the kitchen or upstairs. You either got warm buttery pancakes with syrup; or an extra few minutes of sleep. But his ankle; definitely broken. Not just sprained or twisted or even bruised. It was downright broken and he could feel it in the way he tried to wiggle his toes. 

Denki activated his quirk, hoping if he would massage his ankle a little bit with the heat I’d his quirk it would help with the pain a bit. Cold would in fact have not helped and Denki knew enough about his quirk and his body that when he tried. It helped a little bit. So as carefully as possible he tugged up his pajama-pants leg and pressed his thumbs into his ankle.

He nearly screamed at the first contact. It was pure pain and agony. He didn’t want to blame his excited friends, but he also didn't want to have to wait until somebody found him. So activating his quirk and massaging the skin and muscles around his ankle reduces the pain by a small amount. Not nearly enough gas he had hoped; but brought that he could stand up for a moment and get an inch or so closer towards the front door of the dormitory. 

Which was exactly how Midoriya found him. Massaging his clearly broken ankle with his quirk, and then standing up really fast (making himself dizzy in the process) taking a few wobbly hops on one foot before going back down with his left leg in the air to protect his ankle. 

“Hey-“ Denki said sheepishly.

“Hey,” came Izuku’s reply. 

“What’s up?” Denki asked as he continued to Jan his thumbs into the swelling skin around his ankle.

“Nothing much. How’s your ankle?”

“Right to the point as always.” Denki chuckled.

Midoriya looked anything but amused. Slight angler flamed up in his eyes but a deep concern continued to pool in those orbs and each wave of it crashed against the fire of anger.

“Are you okay?” Denki asked, confused at what he saw when he looked into Midoriya’s eyes.

“Yeah, I’m fine. But what about you? Why are you asking about me?”

“You’re clearly upset by something,” the blonde brought his hand away from his shin, using his newly free hand to tuck a strand of hair away from his face while his other hand kept his pajama bottoms up.

“Well I’m worried for you. But I’m also angry at whoever pushed you down the stairs. I see the bruise on your elbow, I saw the whole in the wall. Your ankle is very obviously twisted at the least. You wouldn't have let yourself fall like that. And if you tripped you would t be all the way down here,”

Denki looked up the row of stairs. The hole in the wall from his elbow wasn’t really deep; it was much more of a dent, and at the top of the staircase. Midoriya was right. If he [Denki] had only slipped he would still be at least 5 stairs up and not grounding in quiet pain on the ground. He placed his hand back over his ankle; activating his quirk once again hoping to relieve some of the pain and he decided to look back down and meet Izuku’s eyes. 

((Image above belongs to me, i drew is specifically for this 1shot))

“It’s just broken. I think.”

“You think?!” Midoriya cried incredulously.

“Hahah- yeah um. It’s broken, for sure. But I mean I would be surprised if Recovery Girl couldn’t fix it.

“She’ll be able to fix it mostly, kiss it better and all that.”

“Mostly?”

“Well it’s not like it’s just magic. Her quirk tires her out as much as it tires us out. Unfortunately the more often she uses her quirk in you little by little it works less. It never stops working. (HC) But you’ll have a lot of the healing to do on your own. You’ll probably need some sort of splint for a few days or so then just use a cane. It sounds embarrassing but healing arms is much easier than healing legs. Trust me.”

“So what do I do then?!” Denki sulked for a moment, throwing his body into the stairs behind him hissing when his side came in contact with one of the corners. 

“Get up.”

“What?! It’s not like I can do that very well. I can’t really walk. How will we even get to UA? Recovery Girls office?!“ Denki paused as Midoriya grabbed his arms.

“Will I have to carry you? Or will you be alright with some assisted walking?” Midoriya practically hissed. Denki was being a little ridiculous. ( Midoriya isn’t mad he’s more of a panic worried older brother thing rn)

“I give up!” Denki groaned, shoving his face into his hands. He knew Midoriya was still watching and waiting for him to do something. So with an awkward blush Denki reached out both of his arms so that the greenette could help him up.

It wasn’t long until the two of them were outside making their way towards one of the side entrances to UA. Midoriya walked on the left side of Denki so while the blondes left leg was skipping a bit above the ground (like a shaky hover) 

“So who was it?” Midoriya asked, trying to be polite. 

“Huh?” Denki had spaced out, focusing on the pulse he could feel spiking up from his leg. It was a soft throbbing, more annoying than painful at this point. His ankle was swollen and bruised; blue and yellow and purple. It honestly looked like a five year old drew on his shin with as many markers as they could find. The coloration made him almost dizzy. But he had to pay attention to Midoriya now.

“Who pushed you.”

“It was an accident.”

“Who?”

“He was just excited for breakfast. He ran a ast me and just-“

“Denki, no. I don’t care if they didn’t mean it or if they were hungry. Who is it? Why on earth are you protecting them?”

“I’m not-“

“Do you like them or something?”

“No i dont. I don’t like him like that.”

“So just tell me who it is! You don’t have ti stand up for them.”

“I can’t even stand-“

“That’s not the point! Who is it Denki?!”

Midoriya was fed up at this point. Whoever Denki was protecting didn’t need to be hidden. He would much rather find out who it is so he [Izuku] could force the loser to apologize.

“Was it Kacchan?”

“No-“ Denki mumbled, an audible swallow followed soon after.

“So I’m close then?”

“Maybe-“

“Was is-“

“Just stop. It was one of my friends. I forgive him, okay.”

“It was Kirishima, wasn’t it?”

“How did you-“

“I think the whole class would be shocked he would do that. I think I get why you’re trying to defend him. But I just wanna call him and get him to apologize to you. Okay?”

“Maybe?” Denki’s voice rose in pitch with his question. 

“I bet he’ll bring you pancakes. You know how sorry he’s gonna be.”

“Yeah. That’s kinda the reason I wasn’t gonna tell you. He doesn’t need that guilt on him. It’s just a broken ankle-“

“Shhhh.” 

“Why are you shushing me?!”

“Look, Kaminari. We’re nearly at Recovery Girl’s office. You’re gonna get settled down on a bed; I’ll flag RG down to take care of your ankle. And I’ll call Kirishima and get him to bring you some pancakes. Okay?”

Denki sighed. He looked down at his ankle. At the shape, the swelling. At the coloration. But he focused most on the numbing pain. 

“Midoriya?”

“Yes Kaminari?”

“Give it a Rest.”

[obsidiancreates]

Hey, just wanted to check in and see how you were doing. I'd send a message but I'm shadow banned or something so it won't let me.

I really hope you're feeling a bit better. I saw the posts about what happened and your dad's response and it angered me so much I had to get off of tumblr for a bit. You really deserve better than that.

I just want you to know that I genuinely care for you and would be very sad if you disappeared off of here. I'm always here to talk if you need me (I can send you my discord or snapchat or even just my phone number).

Please take care of yourself. You deserve a lot more than your parents give you, and a lot more than you think you do. You are an amazing person and deserve the world and I really hope the rainbow is nearby for you!

❤🧡💛💚💙💜

Thank you friend <3

I'm... getting, better? I don't know. All of yesterday I had weird random moments of sobbing and anxiety heart palpitations and shaking and stuff, but I also had to work a shift yesterday so that like, might've been a contributor. I woke up anxious and upset today after nightmares but that's literally a daily thing, it was just a little extra intense today.

I don't want to die, I don't want to die, I don't want to leave everyone. That's the scariest part of what happened. I remember what it felt like to want to die, to hate myself, to think I was a waste of space and unloved and wouldn't be missed. I've felt that and I know that feeling intimately.

I don't feel like that anymore, and haven't in years. I want to live, I have things I'm looking forward to, I love myself a lot, I'm not a waste of space at all and contribute a lot to a lot of people's lives, I know I'm loved and I know I would be missed.

So it's scary to me that that... still wasn't enough. Kind of a sobering realization about my state of being, that even with all of that, I still got to the point I did.

It's terrifying. There's nothing about me that would be considered typical of someone who tries to do that. I am not self-hating and I am not unwanted and I do not think I am worthless. I thought, when I was younger, that if I ever got to this place, where I love myself and have things to Stay for and have small daily joys to look forward to alongside big months/years-off things, that I'd be better and I wouldn't have these issues anymore. I thought I'd beat it. I thought I'd won. I thought the little urges were just the last embers of a dying flame, and because I could resist them I was Healed.

It's scary that it's still here. It's scary to realize that it won't ever actually be a non-concern. It's scary to realize it can still win.

It changes a lot of things. But at the same time nothing is changing. My parents are trying to pretend it didn't happen, like usual. That's how it always goes, we blow up, it's huge and feels life-changing, and then we go on like nothing ever happened until it comes up as a festered, oozing wound with the next overflow. I don't know how to fix that. My brother doesn't know how to fix that. My parents don't want to fix that. They don't want to help me, they don't want the messy unsatisfying complicated process of helping me, they just want me to be fixed.

So I'm feeling... weird. I was supposed to go on a clean with them today but they didn't make me, so I get to "relax" in whatever sense of the word applies to me (it's not the traditional one, I can't remember the last time I didn't have anxiety and dread thrumming through my chest like an outpouring of concrete that never fully dries) before I have a morning shift tomorrow.

I kind of never thought I'd have to deal with this. I've had urges and thoughts since I was 6 years old, placed outside after crying because I was bullied with open outdoor hallways in a school right next to the highway, no-one watching me, and started thinking "I should throw myself into the traffic so that they know how they all made me feel since crying doesn't work." But I never actually tried it. I just sat outside, cried, and pushed through. I never thought it'd get to a point where I actually succumbed to one of those urges, genuinely.

This went into a ramble. I don't know. There's not a satisfying way to end this other than I don't ever want to do that again and I'm going to do my best not to, in whatever way and by whatever means I can to prevent getting to that point again.

[keefwho]

May 22 - 2024 Wednesday

10:29pm

5.5/10

This morning I skimped on the cleaning. Its why I wrote that post earlier. I don't know why, I just wasn't seeing the point in it I guess. I thought everything was clean enough (but I didn't really). I think it was clean enough by other people's standards, most notably my parents so I felt like I shouldn't clean more lest I be ridiculed. But no one is actually going to see it anyways, let alone ridicule me. I think it was some kind of leftover feelings springing up out of nowhere. Tomorrow I plan to diligently clean during cleaning time. After my shower I made eggs, spam, and rice for breakfast. I ate sort of quickly again which I regret, I swear I always feel rushed. Literally every minute of the day. BR and JG @'ed me to join voice which was strange so I did. We hung out before work time and then I streamed while in call with them.

The stream was very fun. We had a lot to talk about and poke fun at. My dad also called to tell me my nephew QN was stabbed and killed last night which was news for sure. I warmed up with more cat sketches and worked on SZ's commission for the whole stream. A freaky lil thing I did 2 birthdays ago came up but no one actually spilled the beans. I was okay not keeping it a secret but it was more fun to me if I wasn't the one telling everyone what I did. I was also made to whimper on command which tingled me. After awhile everyone left and it was literally just me. I started getting bored but I finished work.

Afterwards I sat back and snacked on WAY too many cheetos. I allowed myself to keep nibbling on them until I was satisfied. I also ate a cookie. The whole time I was watching Henry stream. For lunch I just had a packet of soup since I snacked so much.

In the afternoon I did a weird request to draw a chibi monkey which I don't think I did very well. Only passable maybe. I really just don't like my own art style when it comes to drawing characters, specifically faces. I've never really enjoyed how I draw my ponies for example. I really am more of a scenery artist. After the request I had a really good cuck art idea so I started on that and made good progress. Then I took another crack at making eyes for my low poly pony and they are a little bit better but I might keep trying.

After work I booted up KSP and launched 5 relay satellites to the moons. I joined BD's vc since her and friends were in there but they were only in call about 30 minutes. Eventually I finished Kerbal and DS called in bed. We did puzzles and she checked out a bunch of dog fashion while looking for a collar for Sporticus. I played Roblox horses while we talked but it felt very empty, I really have no goal in the game. I wish they had a player horse market or leaderboard or something.

This morning I wasn't in too great of a mood. I woke up realizing some things, or maybe I was just in my head and seeking out problems. Tonight I planned to practice perspective taking while socializing but every time I start talking to someone, I sorta forget to do it. On top of that I don't think I was myself tonight. I have lots of valid feelings, urges, and thoughts I don't get out sometimes. Out of fear maybe. Im always afraid of pushing people away but I also know if I do, they weren't meant to be in my life anyways.