#and yet. i'm already that. they're just all so used at accommodating me that they don't notice. it's amazing and horrible at the same time

[measuredoutinyears]

How do you tell your own family that you're autistic

[rubys-domain]

went a little crazy and got him

[dandylovesturtles]

listen ok I know shit is dire in CAS land (by @somerandomdudelmao) but I had this stupid idea and it's a slow day at work and I type fast so here you go I didn't proofread this at all

I'm sorry I made it silly

Massive spoilers if you haven't read the new CAS update

...

"I can fix it," is a much easier thing to say than to do. Casey's thinking that as he takes long, quick strides through the lair, turning the problem over in his head as fast as he can. He hopes Uncle Tello can't hear the parts of his thoughts that are in a panic, but based on their conversation before he probably can.

Uncle Tello doesn't say anything about it, and Casey kind of wishes he would, just for the reassurance that he's still there.

He's so absorbed in his thoughts he doesn't notice Donnie (the younger Donnie, the physical Donnie) standing in front of him until it's too late and he's already collided with his back. Coffee spills everywhere, though thankfully it only splashes his plastron where he can't get burned.

Younger Donnie whirls, something distinctly murderous in his eye that feels so weird and wrong directed at Casey. It cools only slightly when Donnie processes it wasn't one of his brothers bumping into him, and somehow that feels just as weird, that Donnie has to readjust his feelings to accommodate the unfamiliarity. (He's not family, not to this Donnie.)

"Is something chasing you?" Donnie snaps.

"Uh... no-"

"Is there a fire?"

"No, but-"

"Do you need glasses?"

"I don't... think so?"

"Then watch where you're going!"

He spins on his heel and marches off, toward the kitchen to get more coffee, Casey assumes. For a moment he's left too off kilter and dumbfounded to remember what he was doing.

Then Uncle Tello's voice in his head startles him out of it. What just happened?

Oh, uh... I ran into the other version of you.

Ran into?

Literally. I spilled his coffee.

Ah, and he didn't take it well.

And Casey knows he shouldn't stop for this. Casey knows they may be on limited time and he has to fix this and Uncle Tello shouldn't have to listen to his whining about things that don't matter.

But he's been holding in so many feelings for so long and even if it's just in his head, hearing his uncle's (dad's) voice makes it rush out of him before he can stop it.

I don't think he likes me very much. I touched his shell the other day and he snapped at me. I got mad at him when he touched your tech and that made him mad, too. I don't know how to talk to him.

He doesn't really know how to talk to any of them, is the thing. It used to be the easiest thing in the world, and now it's a wall he hasn't yet learned how to scale.

He can feel his thoughts spiraling against his will. He doesn't have time for this, but the grief and the lack of sleep and the lack of easy affection are all mixing together with the weirdness of it all into a dangerous Molotov cocktail of emotions and he's not sure what will light the fuse.

Casey Jr, says Uncle Tello's voice.

Uncle Tello?

Do you want to see something really funny?

Casey can't help but make a strangled noise at the back of his throat, one that isn't a laugh but isn't a cry either. Something funny?

Yeah. Trust me, it'll be hilarious. Go to my lab.

Casey hesitates. He doesn't let me in there without him...

I feel confident I outrank him. Wait, how old is he?

Sixteen.

Ahhh, that explains it. I know I'm an absolute delight now, but at that age I could be a real pill.

It startles an actual laugh out of Casey. Without arguing further, he rushes to Donnie's lab, quick before he can finish brewing his coffee.

How do I get in?

Is this the subway?

Yeah.

Okay, there's a manual override for the voice lock hidden in one of the wall panels, should be... three to the left, middle of the door. Give that a good knock. Shave and a haircut~

Casey does as directed, and the panel slides back, revealing a flat, glossy keypad.

What's the access code? he asks, feeling like they're on some secret mission now. Maybe it doesn't fall into what people in this time consider normal, but to Casey this is standard stuff. He falls into the rhythm of it like a well loved song.

Oh one one four twenty one twenty seven, says Uncle Tello.

Casey punches it in and the door slides open. He slips inside and hits the button to close and lock the door behind him. Donnie still hasn't returned; the mission is proceeding as planned.

Wasn't that the code for one of the weapons lockers in the old- at base?

Yes, it was. Poor security protocol to reuse codes, I know, but I'm partial to that one.

What is it?

Atomic Lass's birth date. Uncle Tello pauses, then adds, Has he shown you any of the old Atomic Lass episodes of Jupiter Jim?

Uh, no...

Ah, continuing to fail my already low expectations, Teen Tello. Never mind, we'll worry about that later on.

Later on. Right, they shouldn't be doing this, they should be trying to fix Uncle Tello, they should be-

To my computer, Casey Jr! I can't type so you'll have to do it for me.

Uncle Tello's voice pulls him out of his reverie, and he hurries to do as he's told.

Uncle Tello walks him through passwords and then through navigating the OS. It's old and out of date compared to what they had in the future (Donatello's custom OS, better than the hacks at Apple and Microsoft, or so he said), but when Casey had called it old and out of date Donnie had gotten mad about that, too.

Ada Lovelace, this is old, says Uncle Tello's voice now, and incredibly Casey laughs again.

But they find what he's looking for and then input a series of commands into the command line. Casey isn't familiar with all of them, but if he had to guess, they just sent a video from late 2019 to every device in the lair.

Alright, mission accomplished, time to retreat, says Uncle Tello's voice, and he hurries out of the lab, just in time to hear a ping from the phone in his pocket.

He pulls it out and watches the video. It's Donnie, only slightly younger than the teen Casey now lives with, adjusting the camera before grinning and posing in front of it. He's in his lab, though a different one than the one here in the subway. He looks cocky.

He moves further back from the camera so his entire body is framed in its lens, then steps onto a skateboard. He glides in a circle for a moment, then jumps to try and do some kind of trick. Casey doesn't know the name of it, but what he does know is that Donnie's feet get caught in his board, and he ends up tumbling to the floor, crashing in an undignified heap, arms splayed out and face smooshed against the concrete.

It shouldn't be funny.

(It's pretty funny.)

It seems the others echo this sentiment, because suddenly Casey can hear laughter erupting from elsewhere in the lair.

"OMIGOSH! Barry, you gotta watch this!"

"HAHAHAHA BRO ATE SHIT!"

"Hah... Don't worry Donnie, I'm sure you'll get it next ti-hahahahaha!"

There's the sound of scurrying feet, and then Donnie slides into the hall, glaring at Casey who forgot he should be moving away from the crime scene.

"YOU!" he screeches.

Casey freezes. What is he supposed to say? What excuse does he have? The you in my head told me to do it? Yeah right.

Casey does the only sensible thing and turns to run.

Casey Jr?

Uncle Tello!?

What's happening now?

The other you is after me!

Oh. Well. Better run fast.

Casey turns on the speed, sprinting down the corridor and toward the only exit he knows, Donnie hot on his trail.

Why is every younger version of you so scary!?

Oh please, there's no way that scrawny, barely pubescent mess is scary. Have you ever heard his voice crack?

...Well, yeah...

See? Hilarious. And we didn't even have to pull up my browser history.

Okay, but none of this helped us fix anything.

Ah well. One problem at a time.

[theragethatisdesire]

"l’amore è cieco" - eren x reader - 18+!!!

back to the ti penso universe!!! finally!! did you guys miss it? i know i did; i am utterly obsessed with these two. i've had this sitting in my unfinished wip pile for way too long not to share.

our lovebirds have gotten the wedding all wrapped up with, so we're a solid four years past them reuniting in italy....and surprise! they're expecting!!!!! i could literally scream just writing that; the grip dad!eren has on me will never let up, i fear......anyways, this one's a little rough because i've picked it apart a thousand times and i'm just tired of editing, so you guys enjoy!!! sorry if it's not quite up to par :/

pairing: eren x reader

wc: 4k

DISCLAIMER: this post contains MATURE CONTENT that is intended only for those over 18. if you are a minor, please do not read below the cut.

CWs: smut, reader is pregnant, use of names (baby, mama, pretty, beautiful, etc), swearing, vaginal sex, fingering, multiple orgasms, breeding kink, lactation kink, creampie, crying, tooth-rotting fluff

title means "love is blind" in italian, per tradition w this verse <3

-

Right on schedule with your new daily, depressing routine, you stand in front of the mirror running your hands over your body, examining the recent changes. On second thought, scrutinizing might be a better word.

You’re grateful your job has allowed you to work from home for your entire pregnancy, editing articles from the journalists who can actually travel while snuggled up on your couch, but the downside of it is that you’ve had far too much time to mull on all of the ways your body has stretched and warped to accommodate the growing little girl in your stomach. You thought pregnancy was supposed to be beautiful, and sometimes it is, but more often than not, you just feel like a swollen, hormonal mess.

You “popped”, as all the mommy podcasts say, about two weeks ago, and thin stretch marks have begun to appear on your stomach. Eren calls them your “tiger stripes”, having been in full-blown cringe dad mode since the day you took the test. Bizarre cravings control you at all hours of the day, evidenced by the little black crumbs you’re picking out of your sports bra, left behind by your fourteen-Oreo breakfast today. You gaze longingly at the jewelry box on your bathroom counter; you haven’t been able to wear your wedding band in weeks, the tan line already beginning to fade from your finger. Before you can get a hold of yourself, the hormones have you in their grip, and hot, frustrated tears are spilling down your cheeks.

“Babe, have you seen that tie with the red–” Eren materializes in the doorway with absolutely no warning, as he’s prone to do, but cuts himself off at the sight of you, “baby, no, again?”

“Don’t say it like that,” you say, reluctantly allowing him to take you in his arms.

“Like what?” Eren’s voice is sweet, but hesitant. He’s been living under the constant threat of getting his head bitten off for mundane reasons because of you. It makes you feel worse, makes you shove him away and glare at him accusingly.

“Like I’m always fucking crying.” You are always crying, but you wish he would at least muster up some semblance of surprise at finding you in tears yet again. You turn away from him, wiping your face in the mirror. “Shouldn’t you be packing? Your flight leaves in like, three hours.”

“I’ll cancel,” Eren coos, stepping behind you to wrap his arms around your waist, picking your belly up in his hands.

It’s some hack he got off Tik Tok, supposed to take the weight off of your back for a precious moment, and as much as you don’t necessarily want to be touched right now, it actually helps. You’ve been alternating between thinking Eren’s overenthusiastic parenting research is adorable and mind-numbingly annoying, but for the moment, your back has stopped aching for the first time all morning, and you sigh, leaning into him.

“You can’t cancel,” you murmur, momentarily soothed, “‘s a big client. Where is it again? France?”

“I just got back from France, Miss Pregnancy Brain,” Eren chuckles, quieting immediately upon catching your lethal gaze in the mirror. “It’s just over in LA, and honestly, I could have Hitch go if you need me.”

“No, I can take care of myself, it’s just like…” a fresh wave of tears spills down your cheeks, “fuck, I don’t even know what’s wrong with me.”

Eren nods into your shoulder, letting you sniffle. It’s not a new trait, your outright refusal to ask for help, but it’s been exacerbated by your pregnancy, especially considering exactly how much help you actually need now.

You’ve taken custody of all of his sweatpants, not yet able to bring yourself to buy maternity clothes. You’d walked in sobbing and humiliated the other day because you’d peed yourself on the long elevator ride up to your apartment in front of the neighbors. You can’t sleep on your stomach anymore; Eren has to prop himself up just right beside you and sandwich you between himself and a wall of pillows to stop you from turning. You know it hurts him seeing you miserable, and you try to suck it up and enjoy the positives of pregnancy as much as you can, but you can’t muster up that strength every day.

“Hush,” Eren pulls your wet face to his chest, letting you stain the Number 1 Dad! t-shirt he had bought himself. “I’m not going.”

“Eren–”

“I’m not,” he says firmly, rubbing small circles into the bottom of your spine, “you need me here, whether you want to admit it or not.”

You grumble complacently, nuzzling into him. You do need him, as much as you want to think you can tough it out on your own. Eren’s bought book after book, not just for the baby, but for you. Most nights you find him reading titles like You’ve Made the Baby…Now What? or How to Survive Pregnancy: A Guide for Men with his feet propped up on the coffee table, a habit that, despite your efforts, you cannot nag him out of. It’s cute, honestly, how over-the-top he’s gotten with baby prep, especially when you’re often too exhausted to wrap your mind around reading a parenting guide.

“I feel ugly,” you admit quietly, sticky and snotty against his shirt. “I feel disgusting.”

“What?” Eren’s reaction is one of genuine confusion. He pushes you away from him so he can search your face, waiting patiently for you to elaborate.

“I’m gaining an obscene amount of weight, my ankles are the size of my knees, I can’t wear a single one of my rings, what am I supposed to feel like?”

Eren frowns. “Those things are supposed to happen. I read last night–”

“I don’t care!” Your voice cracks under the weight of your frustration, and you press your fingers into your eyes hard enough to see stars, trying to regain control of your temper. “I don’t care that it’s supposed to happen. It still sucks.”

“I think you’re beautiful,” Eren sounds earnest, but you scoff at him anyway.

“We’re married. You’re supposed to say that.”

“I don’t have to.”

You cock an eyebrow at him. “If you want your head to stay on your shoulders you do.”

Eren laughs at that, tugging you over to stand between his legs as he sits on the bed. “So, you’re serious? You genuinely don’t think you look good pregnant?”

“No,” you rub at your nose, “I don’t.”

Eren looks up at you, cupping your face gently. “I disagree.”

“Do you really?”

“I think you look better than ever.”

“That’s an insult to non-pregnant me,” you roll your eyes, moving to step away, but Eren holds you tight between his legs.

“It’s not,” he insists, “there’s just some things your pregnant body has that you didn’t necessarily have before. Some things that I like.”

You cock an eyebrow at him. “Cankles?”

Eren chuckles breathily, shaking his head. “I adore your cankles, but they weren't exactly the first thing that came to mind. Take these, for one thing.”

Eren presses his nose into your sports bra, hands moving up underneath to palm at your swollen tits. You let out a breathy laugh as he explores, already feeling a low heat beginning to simmer in your core. That’s one perk of entering your second trimester; your hormones might turn on a dime, but your sex drive has skyrocketed.

Eren shoves your bra up to free your tits, groaning appreciatively as he takes a nipple into his mouth, licking and sucking. You watch as he feels his way around with his mouth, humming contentedly under your breath, when suddenly, his eyes fly open and he shoots away from you.

“What?”

Eren shushes you, bringing a hand to the breast that had been in his mouth and squeezing lightly. White liquid beads on your nipple, and you cover your face in shame.

“When did that start?”

“A few days ago,” you admit, trying to push his hands off of you, cheeks burning. Eren swats you away, leaning back into your nipple, sucking harder. You can feel a small stream of milk leaving you, relieving some of the pressure in your tits; a moan rumbles deep in Eren’s chest, and you can see his Adam’s apple bob as he swallows. Eren releases your nipple with a loud pop and looks up at you panting, eyes blown wide.

“Is it weird that that’s kinda hot?”

“Probably.”

“Does it hurt?”

“No,” you hum, threading your hands through his hair and urging him back to your chest, “feels good.”

That’s all Eren needs to hear, diving back into your chest with renewed vigor. As he continues, you realize it doesn’t just feel good, it actually feels incredible. You’ve always had sensitive breasts, but with the pregnancy, sensation has increased tenfold; you can feel your panties getting wetter as the weight of your full breast decreases. When Eren’s gotten all he can from your left nipple, he moves to your right, replacing his mouth on the now-abandoned nipple with his hand to twist gently at the wet skin.

The combined sensation makes your knees buckle; Eren saves you smoothly by wrapping an arm around your lower back, yanking you to him to straddle his leg. It’s the perfect angle for you to roll your hips against his thigh slowly, feeling the much-needed friction of his sweatpants against your cunt.

“Eren…” you breathe out, voice nothing more than a wisp of air.

“I know baby,” Eren speaks directly into your flesh, not willing to back away for even a moment, “feels good, doesn’t it?”

“Feels so good,” you whimper, clutching him to you with fistfuls of his hair.

“Told you this new body’s not so bad, hm?” Eren closes his teeth down on your nipple lightly; you almost keel over from the shockwave it sends through you.

You nod, rubbing yourself against his thigh faster. It’s awkward and cumbersome with your belly in the way, but it’s enough for now, enough to light your nerves on fire in that way that only Eren’s ever been able to.

“Fuckin’ ridiculous,” Eren mutters, grabbing onto your hips to help you get your rhythm right, “you’re so perfect, and you don’t even see it.”

Your fingers dig into his arms as you moan. “But my stomach–”

“But nothing,” Eren kisses you, mumbling into your mouth, “love your stomach, love your tits, love all of it. You think it doesn’t make me so fucking hard, watching you walk around with that big belly and knowing what it came from? I did that. We did that, didn’t we baby?”

“Mhm,” you bite into his shoulder, the friction on your clit through your sweatpants is getting to your head, making you dizzy. “Eren, Eren–”

“Sh sh sh,” Eren shushes you, moving so that he can look you in the eyes, “what do you need? Tell me.”

“I don’t– I don’t know, I just…” you can’t find the words, so in need of him that you can’t even decide what sounds best. His mouth? His fingers? All of it?

“Okay, okay,” Eren says quietly, standing you both up only to lay you against the pillows, “I’ve gotcha.”

He nudges his sweatpants down your legs, bringing your panties with them, spreads your legs so he can see the most intimate part of you. Eren brings his hand to your clit, rubbing tentatively, but you’re so desperate for him that it’s enough to make your back arch, a long, throaty moan ripping out of you. He lays beside you, gently playing with your clit and watching in awe at the reaction you give him, already a blubbering mess after only a few minutes.

“So sensitive, aren’t you mama?”

“Yes,” you hiss out through clenched teeth, a fresh wave of arousal flooding you at the name, “s-so sensitive. Need to cum, I need, n-need–”

“I’ll make you cum,” Eren promises, sinking a finger into you, “I’ll make you cum, baby.”

“Fuck, Eren, it’s– I can’t–”

“Feel good?”

“So fucking good,” you’re basically sobbing at this point, fingers clenched into the muscles of his bicep, clinging to him and humping his hand. You’re not sure if it’s the lack of sex over the first trimester (“What if I hit the baby’s head?” Eren had asked nervously whenever you approached him) or the rawness of the sensation against your over-sensitive body, but you’ve never been so close to your orgasm so quickly.

You don’t hold out long; Eren’s skilled with even just one finger, and before long, you’re crying out his name, gushing all over his hand. Eren presses his lips to your forehead in a sweet kiss despite having utterly destroyed you less than thirty seconds ago.

“Ready for me?”

“Sit,” you pant, pointing to the massive stack of pillows against your headboard. Eren raises his eyebrows in surprise, but does as he’s told, only pausing to pull his clothes off. The loss of the stupid dad t-shirt is a relief as much as feeling his bare chest under your hands. Due to your hormones, you’ve thrown Eren out of the house several times, and you’ve demanded to be alone enough to where his only solution is to go to the gym downstairs and work out until you’ve calmed down. It shows: his chest has grown broader and stronger, and the veins on his arms are nearly popping through the skin. “You look good.”

“Yeah?” Eren offers a shit-eating grin, flexing his bicep ever so subtly. “You should see yourself.”

“You seriously think I look good like this?” You’re straddling his hips now, rubbing your clit on his bare cock. It’s a lewd sight, his cock drooling on his abs, glistening with your cum; your cunt clenches around nothing, more than ready to be filled.

“Mhm, you look so fucking good like that,” Eren grunts, hands finding your hips again and lifting you up to sink you down on his cock, both of you letting out loud, satisfied groans, “but you look much better like this.”

You grind your hips against his, not possessing the energy to bounce your now-heavier body, but it makes you see stars. Eren rarely lets you ride him, much preferring to bend you over or pin you to the bed himself, but with your bump, you now have an excuse to hop on top of him whenever you like. It’s been close to a decade of fucking him, but the full stretch of him never fails to shock you, the way he pushes into you until you’re positive he’s in your stomach. With Eren sitting up, his cock stays firmly nestled against your g-spot, pushing little bits of squirt out of you with each movement of your hips.

“Eren–” you whimper, holding your breasts as you rock into him.

“Shit- you’re so tight like this,” Eren says through his clenched jaw, throwing his head back against the headboard, “why don’t you ride me more often?”

“You don’t let me,” you say with a watery giggle.

“Stupid,” Eren gasps, “‘m so fucking stupid.”

You’re too fucked out to voice your agreement, opting for sliding a hand down your body to flick at your clit. You can’t quite reach it around your bump, though, a discontented noise leaving your lips. Eren opens his eyes, takes notice of the way you’re hunching your back, and swats your hand away.

“I got it, I got it,” he pants, tucking his hand underneath your swollen belly to rub your clit just the way he knows you like it.

“Oh, f-fuck,” you choke out, throwing your head back.

“Good?”

“Yeah,” you hiss, “‘s perfect.”

“Take what you need, mama,” Eren’s watching you intently, a glimmer of admiration in his eye, “take what you need.”

You’re moaning pitifully, loud and wanton as Eren’s cock moves inside of you. Your cunt tightens around him desperately as the bubble building in your stomach threatens to explode.

“Think you get wetter like this, all swollen with my baby,” Eren muses, leaning forward to latch his mouth around one of your nipples where more milk has already started to pool. His words have a visceral reaction on you; you cry, tears welling in your eyes as you spiral towards your release. 

“I think–I think I’m gonna– oh fuck, don’t stop,” you croon, rocking your hips as fast as you can manage. Eren mumbles around your nipple, something about how beautiful you look, and you come undone around him, grinding your hips hard against his and cradling him to your chest. He might have a point- there’s damn near a puddle of your arousal at the base of where you’re connected, slicking up the skin on his hips and the inside of your thighs.

“Better?” Eren pulls you in for a kiss; you can feel him grinning through it.

“Maybe a little,” you admit, laughing light and watery against his mouth.

“Mmm,” Eren hums, grabbing you by the hips and lifting you only to drop you down again and turn your laughter to a quiet whimper, “not good enough. Need you to be much better.”

“Fuck me, then,” you nip at his bottom lip, earn yourself a deep groan.

“Can you— can you hold yourself up like this?” Eren scooches both of you down, albeit, a little awkwardly, so that he can lay flat on the bed. He moves you up until you’ve only got him halfway inside of you, cocking a questioning eyebrow at you.

“Yeah, I–I think so.”

“And you’re sure I’m not going to hurt–”

“Jesus Christ– no Eren, it’s fine, just– fuck,” he cuts you off with a sharp snap of his hips up into yours, grinning menacingly when your eyes roll back.

“Like that?”

“Just like that,” you moan, annoyance wiped from you with one clean stroke. Eren takes that for the green light that it is and starts pistoning his hips up into you, swearing under his breath. Even though he’d instructed you to hold yourself up, he makes good use of his new muscles, suspending you at the perfect height to feel every inch of him as he fucks up into you like his life depends on it.

“You look so fucking gorgeous like this,” Eren growls, “all swollen with my fuckin’ baby. Gonna keep you like this, give you as many as you want.”

“Eren–” you choke out, suffocating on the way he’s fucking you, his words, him. For the first time in months, you feel amazing, holding your chest and groaning long and loud as Eren thrusts up into you.

“Baby, I’m- fuck, not gonna–” Eren cuts himself off with something that sounds suspiciously close to a whimper, throwing his head back.

“Cum in me,” you pant, nodding urgently at him, “want it so bad.”

“Oh fuck,” Eren groans, hips moving impossibly faster. His fingers are digging into your hips near to the point of pain, and that little frown he makes when he’s about to cum is crumpling his face. You do want it, badly.

“Please Eren, I need it,” you gasp, legs trembling on either side of his hips.

“Fucking love you, love you so much,” Eren slurs, hips stuttering. With a long, throaty moan, he slams you down one final time, cumming deep inside of you. You grind against him as he does, moaning along with him at the familiar warmth in your belly. Exhausted, you momentarily forget about your bump and try to collapse facefirst on him- that’s enough to snap Eren out of his post-orgasm haze.

“Whoa, whoa,” Eren shoves you back upright, lifting you under your shoulders and laying you on your back, “careful.”

You wince. “Shit, sorry. Sometimes I forget. It’s still sort of new.”

“I know,” Eren agrees, eyes locked lovingly on your baby bump, “love it, though.”

“Really?”

Eren cocks a disbelieving eyebrow at you. “If that didn’t convince you, I don’t know what will.”

You giggle at that; he’s always been good at this, cheering you up and diffusing your worries like it’s second nature. After ten years, it probably is at this point.

“I don’t mean to be so down on myself, really,” you sigh, tracing a finger over where his hand’s splayed on your stomach, “it’s just…so much harder than I thought it would be.”

Eren nods thoughtfully. “That’s reasonable. But you’re so good at it.”

“I haven’t even– what?” The insecurities that you’ve been successfully masking under good natured teasing and occasional annoyance come slipping from between your lips. You’ve thought it for weeks; how Eren’s so into all the baby stuff, so enthusiastic about learning everything he can, while all you’ve managed is trying not to gag when he cooks eggs in the morning and picking out some onesies. “What about all of your books and your podcasts and crap? You’re the one doing everything.”

“That’s all I can do,” Eren scoffs, “you’re doing all the hard stuff, like carrying the baby around and puking every morning and crying all the time–”

“Hey!”

“I’m serious,” Eren shushes you, “you’re putting in all the legwork. I mean, you’re literally growing our baby. You’re a fucking rockstar mom already. If anyone’s not doing enough here, it’s me.”

That’s one thing about Eren that will never get easier; his deep, unwavering admiration for you, no matter what you’re doing. Sure, it’s endearing when Eren spins you around in his arms for something as simple as finally getting that croissant recipe to come out well, but when he’s praising you for something that’s actually difficult? It’s sweet enough to give you a cavity, warm your heart, and turn your cheeks pink all at once, even after all this time.

“Well, if you’d like to take a shift carrying her around, be my guest. She’s a chunky little thing already,” you roll your eyes, tucking your face into Eren’s ribs to mask the flush rising to your face.

“I’d do it for you if I could,” Eren sighs in faux-thoughtfulness, “but I wouldn’t look half as hot.”

You giggle furiously when he lands a slap to your ass, swatting at his chest. “God, it still doesn’t feel real, does it? A little girl that’s half you, half me.”

“It does and it doesn’t,” Eren shrugs, bringing a hand back to your stomach, “I don’t know about you, but I’ve been thinking about it since Italy.”

You gape at him. “That long?”

“You know I’m always ahead of you on this stuff,” Eren teases, squeezing your cheeks together, “knew I wanted you first, knew I wanted you back first, knew we should get married…”

“Yeah, yeah,” you roll your eyes at his bragging, “it’s just, like…are we ready? To do this?”

“This?” Eren cocks his head.

“The whole…‘parents’ thing.”

“Putting aside the fact that you're way too late to be having those kinds of thoughts,” Eren says, rubbing your lower back, “of course we’re ready. There’s no perfect parents, but I believe in us– believe in you. Gonna be the best mama any baby’s ever had, I know you will.”

“I don’t even…oh, Eren.” You’re tearing up again–damn hormones. Eren wipes at your tears, planting a big kiss on your forehead.

“I mean it. You’re going to be great, already are,” he says, smiling down at you. He holds you just like that for a few moments, letting you nuzzle into his chest, until his little grin grows wicked. “Although…the only thing I can say I am worried about is which one of us is going to accidentally teach her her first swear word. Should we bet on it?"

Even through your tears, you cock an eyebrow at him. “You and I both know that’s going to be Jean. Especially after what you taught Clara the last time we babysat.”

Eren barks out a laugh. “Hey, hearing her call Jean ‘Daddy Jackass’ was funny, and you know it!”

“Thanks for reminding me,” you smirk, “now I know what I’m teaching our little girl first.”

“No way!”

[harunayuuka2060]

Ace: *pouting* Sensei!

MC: *smiling* Yes, Mr. Trappola?

Ace: You have the most interesting history and you don't even want to tell us!

MC: Ara~ But history bores you, doesn't it?

Ace: No! I really like history! Yes! I love it!

The first-years: Yeah! We love history, sensei!

MC: *chuckles* Professor Trein will be happy to hear that.

MC: Anyway, since all of you are eager to know about my history... Hm... Let's see. Ah!

MC: You can do an investigation.

Ace: Eh? Investigation?

MC: Yes! You've learned a lot of skills and I'm sure that your investigating skills are much better now compared last time.

Epel: But sensei... How are we going to investigate? What materials will we be using?

MC: *smiles mischievously* Ah... Now that's the problem, isn't it?

Ace and Epel: ...

Sebek: *yells* LET'S INTERVIEW SENSEI'S MOTHER!!!!

The first-years: *cheered* Good one, Sebek!

MC: My mom always stays at home. But be sure to behave there, okay?

Jack: Uh... So it's not a problem to you, sensei?

Deuce: Why would it be a problem, Jack?

Jack: I don't know... I feel like Sensei's doing this on purpose.

Professor Trein: Professor MC has already informed me about your home visit to their house.

Professor Trein: I trust that all of you won't cause any trouble because if I receive any reports of mischief, I will make sure to give you appropriate punishments.

Ace: Don't worry, professor! MC-sensei taught us how to be efficient. *grinning*

Jack: Yes. But you haven't applied that to yourself yet.

Epel: *chuckles*

Sebek: We should have a plan and not waste the one week given to us!

Deuce: I agree with Sebek. It's MC-sensei's history we're talking about here, but we don't want it to be vague.

Professor Trein: Just focus on their current life. As for their origins, the different lives they had, it is my duty as a professor to research on that.

Professor Trein: And I will be waiting for the results you will gain from this investigation.

The first-years: Aye, Professor Trein!

Professor Crewel: No. I'm not allowing it.

Professor Crewel: The freshmen will be off-campus and now you want to tag along?

Kalim: They're going to have lots of fun! *whining*

Jamil: I wish to know more about MC-sensei myself...

Riddle: Ace and Deuce needs to be supervised. I don't want them embarrassing themselves in front of Professor MC's mother.

Azul: I'm sure MC-sensei's mom isn't like your mom.

Riddle: *frowns* What did you say?

Professor Crewel: I don't care about your own reasons. You will be all staying here—

MC: *knocks on the door* Sir, may I interrupt your class? I have an announcement to make.

Professor Crewel: Of course, Professor MC. All of you, puppies. Listen to what Professor MC will say!

MC: *smiles*

MC: As you all know, the freshmen will be doing their investigation and I've made a bet with them. If they are able to make a theory about my existence, Professor Trein and the others would have to give them an A-grade mark. However, if they fail... *chuckles*

MC: The sophomores will enter a strict training.

The sophomores: ...

Professor Crewel: Ah. What a nice idea to train the pups.

MC: Indeed, Sir. Hehe~.

Ruggie: Uh, sensei? Is there a reason why you're making this bet?

MC: Nothing in particular. I just feel that I'm being negligent with the sophomores.

The sophomores: ...

The sophomores: Oh shit—

MC's mom: I'm sorry. Our house is too small and I can't accommodate all of you.

Deuce: It's alright, ma'am! The weather is nice here and we can camp outside!

Ace: Yeah! This sure is a nice place!

Sebek: Let's not waste our time with idle chats!

Sebek: Ma'am! Please tell us something about MC-sensei!

Epel: Sebek... Couldn't you ask more politely...

Jack: We've just got here.

MC's mom: ...

MC's mom: Well... I think I might've something that will interest you.

The first-years: What is it, Ma'am? Please tell us!

MC's mom: *smiles* MC was a stillborn.

The first-years: Eh? EHHHH?!!

Sebek: S-Stillborn?!

Ace: But how?!

Deuce: *crossing out the theory of reincarnation on his note*

Jack: Ma'am, you have to explain that to us.

MC: I wonder how the first-years are doing. *chuckles*

Leona: They're probably screaming right now.

MC: Hehe~. By the way, Mr. Kingscholar, you sure are laid-back.

Leona: I'm preserving my energy just in case your dear freshmen lose the bet.

MC: Have faith in them. The task isn't that difficult after all. *chuckles*

Leona: Like I will believe you on that, sensei.

[starryficsfinishwen]

Ok, I know this is weird but, Lee can  summons Lees from another worldline, right? I saw a fanart with 5 Lees fuck Commandant and it's hot. C-can you write a fanfic like that?

hey, anon, you have absolutely no right to send me this ask WITHOUT THE PIC AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

share your blessings pls, I'd like to see it (for research purposes)

NSFW DOWN BELOW. MINORS DO NOT INTERACT.

[banner by @/cafekitsune]

warnings - NSFW THEMES MENTIONED: multiple penetrations (5 vs. 1), overstimulation, intense seggs. all are consenting parties!!

“Open your mouth wider, Commandant.”

If you had a lot of power right now, you would have asked your construct to stand down. But how, despite your title, despite your power as a commandant—

Your whining made you curl. You were on your knees, in between your thighs, your essence was trickling down and staining the ground. Eyes riddled with tears, you became compliant with the request of the construct standing before you, and graciously opened your mouth.

“Good girl,” Lee praised you, gently patting your head, “Let me reward you.”

Lee wastes no time as he placed his heavy leaking tip of his cock on your awaiting tongue, shaft dragging along your tongue. His pre tasted salty, yet it only spurred you on.

“Tch, you are taking so long,” a familiar voice spoke behind you, “She deserves to be fucked already.”

Peering through your tearful eyes, you watched as clones of Lee walked and slotted themselves beside him— Lee's other dimension selves. Like the one that was in front of you, they all mirrored the same lustful eyes, which made the arousal drop even more down there.

Lee lazily shoves his cock into your mouth, your tears now escaping your eyes as you tried to accommodate the size of him in your mouth. Struggling, you whined more to try and breathe through your nostrils. But Lee is kind enough to put his hand on your head as if guiding you.

“Don't degrade her like that,” your Lee spoke, “she deserves none of that.”

“Oh yeah?” The Lee who spoke first kneeled down, raising your skirt, “You should see this, then.”

Your Lee groans, feeling the tightness of your throat as he shallowly fucks your mouth, “Gently-”

You moaned out of surprise as the other Lee rubbed your bare pussy, “Fuck, you weren't lying; she's so compliant.”

“What a compliant little Commandant.” All the other Lees started to approach you, touching you wherever they could reach.

On your breasts, on your throbbing clit, on your eager hole— you should be saying the safe word by now. You should, not when the other Lees were holding you down, your real Lee still fucking your throat. They were still kind enough to value your release first. Unfamiliar yet honest fingers groping and teasing your sensitive nipples. You felt his mouth on your vibrating clit, two fingers already curling right against a soft spot. They're all the same, sensual touches simultaneously rubbing you in every possible erogenous zone—

You crumbled around Lee's cock, choking out a moan as the other Lee drove you to your first orgasm of the night. As you trekked cloud 9, you heard a chorus of laughter.

“What a good girl you are,” purred one Lee, “you'll give us more, right?”

Oh, you were hungry. Far too hungry for more cock as the first Lee sat you up in his lap, his hard cock rubbing deliciously on your now-overstimulated, quivering pussy.

“L-Lee,” you cried out, weakly holding his shoulders, recovering from your high as you felt more hands on you, “Y-you didn't cum-”

“Is it too much?” You recognize it as your Lee, the familiar, comforting worried tone in his voice, his hand on your cheek, “We can stop if it's too much.”

Immediately, you felt other hands stop, as if obeying to the original Lee. Drunkenly blinking, you only whined a moan as you dragged your pussy on his cock.

“I'm okay,” you breathed, catching your insatiable hunger, briefly remembering that it was your idea in the first place, and you weren't about to back out.

“Just wan' your co-ock,” you slurred, hiccuping when the tip of his cock catches your clit, “in my pussy, in my mouth, wherever you can, I can take it.”

Lee eases you slowly on his hard cock, both of you moaning as he bottoms out inside of you. The familiar foreign touches are back on your body again, letting you lean to your Lee, a cold, lubed finger teasing your asshole. When you looked up from Lee's shoulder, an equally fat cock was presented in front of you, to which you compliantly take it in your mouth. You and your Lee moaned when your hips stuttered as you felt a finger now penetrating your asshole.

“Such a greedy girl,” you heard one of the Lees pipped, as your Lee starts to bounce you on his cock, the same rhythm on your mouth and asshole.

You crumbled once more as you felt another Lee's cock replaced his fingers. You wanted to take a break, but the way all the other Lees, including the one on your pussy, were chasing their own high, you sure were fucked. Literally.

Moaning out Lee's name, you felt him come into your mouth and pussy, a relentless thrusting still on your ass. You cried out, yet you only craved for more. As you felt your eyes clothes, an irregular jerk to your pussy made you clench around him.

“Don't pass out on me yet, Commandant,” Your Lee purred, steady hands holding your hips so tight, “I'm...we're still not done yet.”

You were sure you couldn't walk for a week

— starry

[feelbokkie]

주연은 바뀌어 (The Lead Role Has Changed)

☀️Feelbokkie M.list☀️

**Requested**

Okay, so this is literally my first time requesting anything from anybody! 😖

Could I request a oneshot with Changbin using prompts 8, 19, and 44 from the breaking point dialogue prompt list? Something like the reader is someone who's always been accommodating/understanding towards others (in like a kindness/acts of service type way) but now isn't willing to put herself through situations that hurt her. They're both people who are very solid on what they believe is fair.

I leave it up to you if they work it out or if it ends badly... I'd prefer some rocky development on the way to fixing things, but I'm also willing to be in pain over this if it doesn't work out between them lmao 🫠

Let me know if that was like too much? I feel like I'm showing my whole ass requesting this 😭

- 👻✌️

genre: hurt/some comfort(?)

pov: 2nd person

description: You finally reach your breaking point with your boyfriend, Changbin. (Title is a lyric from Doodle) (not proofread)

pairing: bf!changbin x fem!reader

warnings: swearing, mention of food

word count: 2,453

©feelbokkie (2023) — all rights reserved. reposting/modification of any kind is not tolerated.

You really hate how one-track minded Changbin is. He can't multitask and it's become a problem. Maybe it's always been a problem and you were too blinded by rose tinted glasses to realize it.

It was commendable at first, how he was able to focus one thing and see it through. Sure, it could get annoying if you two were talking about something and he couldn't just jump into a new conversation immediately like you could, but that was part of his charm, and over time you learned to work with it.

The longer you were together, the more you saw how focused he could get on something. It was little things at first, like forgetting to wash dishes if he was too focused on a song or having to reschedule something because he was at the studio with the rest of 3racha and couldn't be pulled away. You didn't mind at first because you love him and you could always see a later showing of a movie or clean up. Sometimes he would get so focused that he would forget to eat so you would bring him food at the studio or the dorm. You didn't mind, you knew how important his music is to him and it great that he has something that he's passionate about. It's one of the things you love most about.

But lately, it feels more like he's putting more attention towards his work than he does with you. You can't remember the last time you two had a date that wasn't him stopping by for a meal or cuddling with you on the couch after a long day. He was busy with a comeback, and you understand that, but it felt more like you were his maid or assistant rather than his girlfriend. You used to go out on date all the time when you first started dating nearly everyday. And on days he couldn't get out of work to see you? He would be spamming your phone with texts or calls. Now? You'd be lucky to get a text from him letting you know if he was going to be staying late. It's gotten to the point that if he doesn't get in contact with you by a certain time that you assume that he's just going to crawl in late, if he even comes at all. At least you know he's not out cheating on you.

The only issue is that he promised to go out to dinner with you and your parents. You two had been together for 3 years and he has yet to meet them. It's not like you haven't tried. His schedule is always so busy and your parents don't live nearby. It was getting to the point that your parents thought you were lying about your relationship since you always had to make excuses for him. You were understanding of his situation, but they weren't as accommodating.

Your parents were visiting, wanting to see your new apartment and check on you. The day was already off to a rough start. Changbin was working late at the studio, like usual, and ended up coming over when you were asleep. You vaguely remember him accidently waking you up as he crawled into bed. But by the time you woke up he was gone again. In fact, you were almost certain that you had dreamed him coming home until you found his dirty clothes on the floor by the bed and dishes in the sink. He probably overslept for whatever meeting he had and rushed, but he knows you've been cleaning

"Y/N, honey, your father and I are worried about you." Your mother says randomly during dinner.

Changbin was supposed to come home from work early so that the two of you could take your parents to dinner. He promised. Despite everything, he always kept his promises. It's how he assures you that he's sorry for canceling something. But like usual, he was busy in the studio.

"Why?" You ask, taking a sip of water.

"Honey," Your father wipes his mouth before making eye contact, "it's just that this boy you've been dating for the past three years. It's worrisome."

"What do you mean-- Oh my god, you think I'm making it up." To be fair, if someone you know claimed to be dating a very popular idol and you never met them, you would think they were lying too. But these are your parents, they should have some faith in you.

"Y/N, let's not cause a scene. We just want to make sure you're well." Your mother adds.

"You think I'm delusional and that's probably why you came to visit." You mutter, leaning back into your seat.

***

When you came home from dinner, you took a sleeping pill immediately and retreated to your bedroom, not wanting to have to talk to your parents for the rest of the night. You didn't care if they thought you were being a bad host, they already thought you were mental.

You woke up around 5am randomly and decided just to start your day. If Changbin did come over, you didn't notice. You were in such a deep sleep from the sleeping pill and the distressing conversation with your parents that the end of the world wouldn't even wake you up.

Making your way to the kitchen, you decided to get started on coffee and breakfast. Maybe if you cooked them a well enough meal and look like a well adjusted adult, they would leave you alone. Maybe they'll get food poisoning and have to leave early. Wishful thinking.

A little over an hour after you started cooking, you hear your front door being opened. Having finished cooking breakfast, you began washing the dishes, not even acknowledging the fact that your boyfriend had finally come home. You hear him drop his stuff off by the door. No doubt his shoes were just thrown off in a corner instead of neatly in a row. You hear him quietly shuffle in, probably so he doesn't accidently wake you, before you hear him stop and approach you.

Your body tenses up when you feel his strong arms wrap around your waist, placing a kiss on the back of your neck. You wiggle out of his grip and walk away from the sink towards a cabinet. You pull out enough dishware for 3 people and begin setting the table.

“What’s wrong with you?” Changbin asks loudly in disbelief. He stood dumbfounded by the sink, confused as to why you were ignoring him.

“I’m not doing this right now. And can you please keep it down? My parents are sleep in the guest room.” You spit, still setting up the table.

You had so many dreams last night. All about your relationship with Changbin. You were fine with how the relationship was going at first, but with how one sided it's felt lately and your parents' visit just irritated you and made your body restless despite taking a sleeping pill. You understand that your relationship isn't like mosts. You just never realized that your relationship was Changbin, music, and you.

"Your parents?" His brows furrow for a while before they relax with realization.

"Yeah, my parents. Remember, they were going to be here for a couple of days and we were all going to go out to dinner?"

"I forgot, I'm really sorry. Let's go out to dinner tonight. I'll pay for everything! I'll even send Chan hyung a text right now telling him I'm going to spend the whole day with you. I promise,"

"Your promises mean nothing." You slam down the last cup and finally turn to face Changbin. He looked exhausted. He had dark, puffy circles under his eyes. You could even see how tired he was. You shouldn't be arguing with him when you know he had a late night.

"What?" He asks loudly.

"You promised you'd be there last night and then blew me off." You cross your arms and just stare. You feel as tired as he looks.

"Y/N, you have to understand--"

"Don't tell me that I don't understand. I understand that your job is important and how that takes top priority over most things. Including your health. So I make sure you take care of yourself and don't make yourself sick. I make sure to sneak snacks in your bag when I can so you can have something while working. And I go over to your dorm and clean up for you so you have less to worry about. I do all that and more because I understand." You're at your breaking point.

"I'm sorry, let me make it up to you." He tries to plead.

"Go home, Changbin." You sign, you just don't have the energy to deal with this and your parents.

"This is my home."

"Really? Because your name isn't on the lease and you only come here to eat and sleep."

"It's my home because you're here." You squeeze your eyes shut. How can you be mad at him when he says something as cute at that?

"Is every okay?" You hear your mom's voice call from behind you.

You turn around to find both of your parents looking at the both of you, starstruck. You're not sure if it's because there is a celebrity standing in your kitchen or because you didn't actually imagine a relationship with an idol. You roll your eyes before stepping aside.

"Yeah mom, everything is fine. Mom, dad I want you to meet by boyfriend, Changbin."

***

Your parents left a few hours ago after a very awkward breakfast. They were never going to stay long. They only visited you because they were going on a cruise and were using your house like a free hotel before going to the docks. Changbin was now sleeping on the couch, his exhaustion finally catching up with him.

You immediately went to your bedroom after walking your parents to their cab and took a nap for about 2 hours, ignoring Changbin trying to talk to you. When you woke up after your nap you decided it was time finally leave the room and clean up the mess from breakfast.

Walking out into the living room, you see that Changbin is still asleep on the couch. The blanket that he almost definitely grabbed from the guest room, on the floor. You have to stop yourself from going over there to pick it up and cover him with it. You're supposed to be mad at him. You press your lips together before walking past him to the kitchen.

The kitchen is spotless. The dishes in the sink are all washed, counter wiped, table cleared, and the food that you had left out that would have been fine outside of the fridge were put away. On the kitchen counter stood a bouquet of roses. One of the ones that you had to order and were way more expensive than they should be. Your heart skips a beat thinking about how Changbin must have felt bad and took care of everything and ordered you the flowers despite being tired. No, this doesn't make up for the fact that he broke his promise.

Buzz

Your front door buzzes, drawing your attention away from your now clean kitchen. You walk back into the living room to find Changbin talking to someone at the door. When he's done with his conversation, he closes the door and turns around holding bags. He bought lunch.

“Did you really think I’d just forgive you? That you could clean up, buy some flowers, and food and everything would be fine.” You snap. You're not entirely sure why, he was trying to be nice but that was somehow the problem.

"Eat something before you start yelling at me. You didn't eat much this morning and I know how you can get when you're hungry." He sighs, setting the food down on the coffee table.

"Oh really? I didn't realize you could pay attention to two things at once." You scoff, not moving from your position in the hallway.

"I am trying, Y/N. I am sorry and I'm trying. What more do you want from me?" He raises his voice, not quite yelling but getting there.

"You're only trying because I called you out on it. I shouldn't have to beg you to pay attention to me every once in a while."

"Let's eat and talk about this later." He says kneeling on the floor, sorting out the food.

"I'm tired, Changbin." You sigh, rubbing your temples.

"Eat some food and then go take another nap." He says not even looking up."

"No," You laugh, because if you don't you'll cry, "I'm tired of this. I'm tired of taking care of you and being ignored. I'm tired of come second to your career. I'm tired of talking to a wall. I'm tired of everything. I'm just really, really tired." He freeze for a second.

"So what, do you want to break up?" He's annoyed and you're shocked he would even entertain the idea of breaking up.

"I didn't say that,"

"You've done nothing but yell at me all day talking about how I'm a shit boyfriend so you might as well have."

"You've not even listening to me! And that's the problem. I don't want to break up." You can't hold it in any more as tears stream down your face. You're not sure if they're from anger, sadness, or frustration. Maybe it's a combination of all of them.

"Then what do you want? Because I'm trying to fix this but you're not letting me." He finally turns to you, ready to fight. His angry expression softens when he sees your face.

"I want... no, I need to take a break. I don't want to break up, I love you too much to end this completely. But I need to prioritize myself since you're unable to." Changbin slowly stands up and walks towards you. he has tears in his eyes too. You know he doesn't like to see you in distress and the idea of him hurting you and making you cry is hurting him.

"Fine," He wraps you in a hug, "If you need some space. I'll give it to you. I just want to fix this. I'll do better, just promise me that if I give you the space you need we'll be fine. That it won't be forever." Your arms wrap around his waist and bury your head in his chest.

"I promise, but you need to try too. Or else, what's the point?"

"I promise, and I won't break this one."

—

Buy me a coffee?

—

Permanent Taglist

Red means that it wouldn't let me tag you

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[twig-tea]

PHEW, ok, now that I've compiled and read all the meta (everyone is amazing, I love all of you, thanks for the love back!) and slept on it, I feel like I have processed enough to gather some thoughts and make a prediction on ep12 [clown checkpoint at the end of this long post].

Pre-Prediction Groundwork i.e. what the heck are you thinking and why did this take you two days

First, I want to say, I still think the montage over the years was not off. The depiction of a happy couple that annoys one another, accommodates one another, is sometimes just happy to be in one another's presence and sometimes happy because of one another's presence, is a perfect summary of a long-term relationship to me. Some folks mentioned that it seemed like they were unfulfilled but as an introvert and a homebody I can tell you when I look back on time spent in relationships these are the moments I think about. Yes, I've gone and done fun things with significant others, but those moments aren't the ones that necessarily feel like they're about us. It's the moments doing nothing that feel like they really capture a relationship, to me. And @rebel0777 hinted at this in a post: sharing food has been the love language for this couple all along, so for it to have mostly focused on them sharing meals doesn't feel strange at all. Anyway I'm fully ready for the show to have a different message but reading everyone's thoughts didn't change my mind on this.

That being said, the thing that other people have said that has swayed me most is the idea that Pisaeng does have some things he left unsaid, and going back in time gives him a chance to say them (whether or not Kawi is fine in future). As mentioned in the roundup, @bengiyo and @incandescentflower get credit for their thoughts on this theory.

In a conversation with @pandasmagorica the potential for a time loop was raised; I laid out why I don't think the show will go that route here--writing this also helped me frame my thoughts around what the show is trying to say and where I expect it to go as a result.

One thing that I think Pisaeng hasn't really been called out for in this series yet is how dedicated he is to Kawi--maybe that's just romance tropes doing their thing, but this man really has been through it in the various timelines. He fought hard for that plushie, celebrated his confession-aversary for at least 8 years, continued to follow and support Kawi's career even when he removed himself from his presence to save him from gay rumours...Pisaeng may need to learn to not sacrifice for Kawi's sake.

The other thing that I've been thinking a lot about is why Kawi seems to have a sense that the amusement park date has already happened [based on the ep12 trailer], when in the other timelines nobody had that same feeling of deja vu, and the reason I came up with is: in all of the previous timelines, Kawi made significant changes to his behavior that rewrote the timeline so profoundly nothing in it was the same. He spent time with his dad; he befriended Pisaeng; he went on the departmental trip and confessed to Pear; he tried out for student council and joined a band; he convinced his dad to get surgery; he confessed to Pisaeng. Because of these major changes every time he goes back, we don't see Kawi relive any days from his original timeline (or any of the other timelines) except kind of the first one (and even that one has major differences).

However, to my mind Pisaeng must be terrified of doing anything differently, other than maybe put some things into words (as mentioned above) and/or staying away from Kawi entirely [and I highly doubt that could work since Kawi knows Pisaeng's tricks from the other timeline as per @zzh3], so if he tries to relive their date from the latest timeline, the events would be similar enough that there could be multi-verse/timeline bleed-over. [There are other potential explanations, and of course this is fully blown out of the water if I'm wrong and Pisaeng does decide to make major changes to the timeline, but this is the one that my brain kept chewing on].

This also made me realize that if I'm right and only Pisaeng's consciousness travels to the past, and if Pisaeng does not decide to make any major changes to the timeline, if Pisaeng stays in the past, it will not make Pisaeng and Kawi equal, but will instead give Pisaeng a huge knowledge advantage, because Pisaeng will have lived all of this once before; in the last timeline, in contrast, Kawi did not jump ahead to peek at his future before sticking with the timeline after making significant changes, so he didn't know what was going to happen (he just had the imbalance of knowing what could happen, which he did share with Pisaeng though it's not the same to live it as to hear about it). The only real way in which they would be equals is if Pisaeng jumps back to the future [so they will be equal in their time travel experience and opportunities to make change], or makes a significant enough change in the past that their lives will be completely different [so that both of them will be equal in their uncertainty]. This is not quite counter to, but is a wrinkle to the points made by @bengiyo, @grapejuicegay and @he-is-lightning-in-a-bottle about relationship equality being achieved with Pisaeng time travelling, which at first really resonated with me and I think still hold true if they go one of the two routes I mentioned above. [And yes, I do think leaving things as they are would still put them on equal footing because choosing not to make a change is still a choice, and is still exerting power over their future that the other doesn't have.]

Speaking of this, thanks to a great conversation with @pandasmagorica and @thegalwhorants I went back and dug into the timeline of the series here, but TL;DR I think we could in theory have reached a few months before Kawi time travelled in the first timeline. That doesn't massively affect my prediction but I wanted to capture it because I do think it's relevant re: the balance between Kawi and Pisaeng; if Pisaeng goes to the future and I'm correct that this lines up closely to the point at which Kawi first travelled backwards in the original timeline, then in the current timeline both Kawi and Pisaeng will be at a truly equal point where neither has seen anything past where they are.

Shifting focus slightly, @grapejuicegay's thoughts about consciousness and the mechanism of time travel also made me wonder, if Pisaeng jumps back to the future [going to keep saying this because it continues to be funny to me], does the consciousness of the version of him who he took over from in the past go back to being the one in control? Is that why the Kawi of the past always seemed to stagnate whenever he jumped into the future, because the person left in Kawi's body had not had the character growth and life experiences that allowed him to make the changes in his life, so he was his former self living a slightly better life but without the personal growth to really take advantage of it? Essentially what I'm getting at here is, if Pisaeng doesn't make a change and does go back to the future, maybe the version of their relationship captured in the montage isn't lost after all, because they would make the same choices? [shout-out to the mourning of the montage by @ellaspore that got me thinking about whether it could be salvaged]

One last point I want to make: As much as it would be deeply satisfying to see Pisaeng and Kawi fight for their rights like @rocketturtle4 theorized, or going abroad so that they could get married like @marbles290 posited, or even working out a lavender wedding arrangement like @grapejuicegay suggested, I think the show already made points on these possibilities with Max and the changes to his choices, and so it would be repetitive to make it with Pisaeng and Kawi [I would not mind if the show did this, I just think this show has so much to say that it will take the opportunity to make a new point]. I think instead it's going to help Pisaeng learn the same lesson Kawi had to about time travel not being able to solve everything [hat tip @waitmyturtles], and needing to be brave and resilient enough to face the future without knowing what the future will bring, and reinforcing appreciating the time you have by being present in the present and not sacrificing your own happiness.

This show has set up so much that could happen, and this isn't the only ending I would be satisfied with by any stretch, but what I think would be most satisfying (at least for me, as I write this) would be if Pisaeng learns to accept that he can't fix everything and goes back to his future to live in the present, not knowing what the outcome will be. Also can I just say, it is really exciting to have multiple endings that I could be satisifed with?! I feel like that doesn't happen that often, at least for me.

Theory time!

So, all that being laid out, here's my Official Clown Theory about what happens in ep12 (adding lots of details so that there are a lots of opportunities to be wrong):

Pisaeng goes to the past and tries to play it cool; they re-live their first date and when Kawi notices something off, Pisaeng tells Kawi that he time travelled [this is based on the trailer so I'm not numbering it as a guess, though this show has done such a good job recontextualizing what we saw in the preview before so this could still be clowned]

Pisaeng is able to put into words what Kawi means to him

Kawi helps him come to terms with not being able to change everything the way Kawi had to come to terms with it too

[More because I want it than because I think it will happen but I'm writing it to manifest it] Pisaeng also talks to his mom while in the past to say hey, if you care about my future, help change the politics in Thailand rather than sending me abroad--giving his mom a chance to change with her kid like how Pear's dad said she should

Pisaeng jumps back to the future

We get the montage again and it looks almost exactly the same maybe just sped up, also maybe [because I've been good and deserve a treat] added bits about marriage equality moving forward?

Kawi recovers, and Kawi and Pisaeng are the ones married May 2027, at the beach [because almost all BL weddings are beach weddings, I don't make the rules]

Kawi tries to give Pisaeng the same speech Pisaeng gave him about if how he does die in future, Pisaeng should try to move on [credit to @tinycowboybro for thinking about the importance of this speech]

Pisaeng responds by reprising Unable [Gawin's OST which I have become recently obsessed with] or one of them performs a new OST we haven't heard yet? [GMMTV seems determined to milk having two protagonists who can sing]

Kawi and Pisaeng confirm neither knows what will happen from here but they'll face it together in the present [YAY]

Post-credit cut scene is Not being given the chance to go back in time by Time Travel Guy [this is still the funniest possible ending to me and I'm not going to stop speaking it into being until it's proven wrong]

Alright we'll see how many of these 10 guesses I get right on Friday. [You may have noticed I ditched the his-death-was-inevitable theorizing I did initially, even though my timeline deep dive does potentially support it, and it could still work with a lot of the above, but I just decided to go with what would make me happiest. I would still be satisfied if they do go that route or leave it ambiguous, as long as they lead up to it well.]

No matter how this goes, it has been an honour and a privilege digging into this show with all of you!

[That being said I realized I will be travelling on Friday and Saturday so depending on the train wi-fi, I may end up being late to the final episode].

cc. the other folks whose writing I was thinking about and have linked in the round-up post but didn't reference directly here: @telomeke; @benkaaoi; @jjsanguine; @stuffnonsenseandotherthings; @shortpplfedup; @williamrikers; @heretherebedork; @visualtaehyun; @knighthacker; @minorista; @neonsbian; @nemesis-21; @snidgetwrites no pressure to interact I just want to give you all credit becuase reading what everyone wrote has informed my thinking [though of course if you disagree with my conclusions, I am the only one to blame (and also I'd love to hear about it)!]

[phoenixonwheels]

The ~discourse~ around the term cripple punk is so wild to me bcs from what I've seen the people arguing that it includes mental illnesses/disabilities are mentally ill people who are ALSO physically disabled explaining from experience that not only are mental illnesses oftentimes disabling in exactly the same way physical disabilities are, but that trying to draw a hard line between "physical" and "mental" conditions is reductive and unhelpful in terms of actually accommodating us and understanding our conditions, especially given that both have so much overlap that it's hard to distinguish what's coming from where in the first place. Like when I'm having a bad enough depressive episode I feel real, physical pain in my chest that's so bad I can hardly stand up, and the accommodations that help me when my hEDS or POTs is making it hard to stand help when it's the depression instead. And yet I'm supposed to believe these two things are completely different, 100% of the time, no exceptions?? Plus like, idk every time I see people argue that mental conditions are somehow different from physical ones it just reminds me of how often doctors will brush aside the physical symptoms of my mental illnesses bcs they're "all in my head" despite how much I'm clearly suffering. For me so much of learning to live with stuff like my bipolar and adhd is unlearning the idea that my brain is like, a separate entity from my body, and accepting that the physical stuff I'm feeling shouldn't be dismissed just bcs it's caused by my brain and not like, my POTs or hEDS. For so often I've seen positivity posts talking about how mental conditions do physically affect people and understanding and accepting that is important, it's wild to see a group that should be on top of that sort of thing fumble it so badly.

And god, so much of the world is already against disabled people, getting mad that the "wrong" disabled people are using the term cripple punk while society does everything in its power to make life impossible for us feels like we're just doing their work for them. We should stand united in our very much shared struggle instead of desperately trying to shove everyone in separate boxes and make sure they stay there, insisting that we have nothing in common and could never share a community. We have everything in common and we need to stand together, now more than ever.

All of this! And also it’s clearly never occurred to them that a huge percentage of the medical gaslighting we’ve all experienced is having doctors blow off our physical disabilities and illnesses by claiming we’re mentally ill. Gee hmm I wonder why that is? Could it be that mental illnesses and disabilities are even more discriminated against than physical illnesses and disabilities? And if we all fight together for respect and rights for people with all types of disabilities and disorders we all benefit?

This shit is absolutely wild to me. And it leads to things like people yelling at me - an actual wheelchair user who is currently mostly bedbound - that I hate cripples and am somehow trying to “steal cripple privilege” and insert myself undeservingly into “cripple spaces” because I refuse to join them in their bigotry against mentally ill and mentally disabled people.

MERDs are to the Cripple Punk and disability rights movements what TERFs are to feminism and the queer rights movement. They’re dragging us back decades.

*MERD: mental-exclusionary radical disabled

[septimusmoonlight]

Anonymous: I think you might be the reason i'm into ear/brain fucking. It's not something I've ever thought about before but now I'm obsessed with it. Specifically with it being long, drawn out and painful. It should hurt having someone stuff their cock in your ear. Something forced into your brain against your will. but it would hurt in a good way As it fucked you (cock tentacle doesn't matter), it would obviously damage your brain. making you dumber and dumber they more they fuck you. Your eyes start rolling back, your tongue hangs out drooling. Once they're done they cum in your head leaving basically braindead, but now you're ready for the next cock to fuck your head. Now it's all you can think about.

Ooh, yes, it should be painful~ It should hurt, and the pain should only make the entire experience better <3

Ears aren't meant to accommodate cock, which honestly has its appeal already. A tight hole, not designed for penetration and yet oh so ripe for it? That's a target. And it's one I unfortunately find out about when someone talks me into trying it despite my reservations; I'm interested enough for it to be an intriguing prospect, even though I know it will be uncomfortable. A cock forcing its way deeper into my skull hurts, of course, but there's just something, something about it that gets me throbbing. The person fucking me holds my head still as they push deeper, ignoring my uncomfortable shifting to resolutely spread out a hole never meant to be fucked.

Eventually, painfully, they stuff enough of themselves inside to reach their target. The sensation of cock meeting neurons is something I'm entirely unprepared for. A jolt of undiluted input, just sheer physical feeling rattles me to my core, followed by another; the pain is reduced to a dull ache, a current in the background that serves to elevate the rest of the experience while the person fucking my skull works their way deeper. Brain matter gives way so easily that it's almost like I was meant to take something like this - a thought that comes out of nowhere. Or maybe a thought that comes from the literal cock on the mind I'm experiencing.

Shoving aside connections and chunks of matter to slide deeper, the person at my head doesn't take long to get hilted. They groan in satisfaction, adjusting positions slightly while my consciousness starts to wriggle uncomfortably, aware that I'm in danger, somehow; unfortunately for the lucid part of my brain, the part currently yielding to sexual pleasure is much louder, and much more in control. The first thrust does away with almost all of my reservations, and the next serves to wipe away what remains of my trepidation. It's all too easy to start fucking my soft, warm brain, the matter in my skull cavity squelching and sloshing as it's pulverized into a useless sludge that used to make me human.

On the outside, the damage to my head is clear. I'm already moaning wordlessly, my eyes rolled back in my head as my hand works furiously at my cunt. I'm so dripping wet that I can stick three fingers inside myself with ease, jamming a fourth in with little hesitation while I slouch to the side, into the grasp of the person reducing me from a human being into a moaning fleshlight. It still hurts, on some level, but I've stopped caring about the pain; in fact, I welcome it at this point. It's just a part of the experience, and the experience is one I'm relishing at every turn, now that I don't have any other choice. Now that I don't have the presence of mind to do anything else.

With a moaning slut under their control and a tight hole milking them dry, the person fucking my skull doesn't take long to cum after I start drooling, my tongue lolling out and my eyes rolling back in my head like I'm getting railed normally instead of brainfucked. That's really the nail in the coffin for what remains of my psyche. Once able to complain and think for myself, the only thing I'm capable of now is begging to have a cock in my head at all times, something to get rid of the rest of that pesky gray matter leftover. I only want cock and cum to fill my empty skull cavity.

Luckily, there are plenty of people willing to oblige. All it takes is a few phone calls.

[amiharana]

thinking about super physically affectionate clingy yet quiet link and him leaning into revali when he's tired, or curling up in revali's lap with his face in revali's neck to take a nap, without a single word.

it startles revali a lot at first when link just at random just starts grabbing his hand only to intertwine their fingers, link tracing the feathers and then pulling revali's hand up to his face to press a kiss to the back of it, his eyes shut. or link pushing him down into the cushions only to seat himself within revali's folded lap, head against revali's chest as he fidgets and fiddles with revali's scarf. or link coming up from behind to wrap his arms around revali's midsection, pressing soft kisses down revali's spine.

"you hylians are so touchy," revali mumbles one night, when they're lying together in their shared hammock. link is wrapped around him, intertwining his legs with revali's, and he drags his pointer finger through revali's feathers, drawing shapes into his chest. link only hums at him in response, and shifts so that he's more comfortable against revali. his legs tighten around revali's, as though he plans to keep the rito shackled to him forever. revail only wraps a wing around him and brushes his beak through the top of link's hair.

"you're not pushing me away though," link says. link's voice is soft and drowsy, but revali can feel it humming under his skin.

"like i could if i tried," revali responds in similar volume. "you've wrapped yourself so closely to me, we'll merge into one being at this point." but link is right; if he truly didn't enjoy this, he'd have thrown link into lake totori now.

"wish we could," link murmurs. revali hums in question, prompting link to continue. "wanna be so close to you i'm practically under your skin."

"that won't be necessary. you already get under my skin plenty." link snorts and shifts against him again, revali shifting in response to accommodate link's new position. they're quiet again for a couple more moments before link speaks.

"do you really not like it?" his songbird whispers, hushed and timid. revali frowns. he doesn't like it when link doubts him, or this bond between them. he wraps his other wing around link and the little hylian snuggles deeper into him automatically, sighing quietly.

"i'd have figured you more astute than this," revali says. "this... manner of affection you favor is not something i'm accustomed to, but it doesn't mean it's unpleasant. it's... nice, to be honest."

"so it's okay? you're okay with this?" link murmurs.

"i'm more than fine with it," revali replies. "what made you think i wasn't?"

he feels link shift to hide his face in revali's chest. "dunno," link mumbles. "i always do it without saying anything. thought you were just putting up with me..."

revali's feathers prickle and rise, and his frown deepens. in a swift fluid movement, he grabs his mate by his hips and pulls him up. link yelps, grabbing onto revali's arms. "w-wait, revali, the hammock—"

"the hammock is strong enough to hold the both of us," revali says, and seats link atop him so that his mate is straddling his lap, and his hands settle on link's waist. "so don't doubt it, like you're doubting me right now." link flushes and his ears droop, just slightly. cute.

"i wasn't doubting you—" link starts, but revali cuts him off with a slight shake of his head.

"you were," revali asserts and his voice leaves no room for argument, because it's true. link stares down at him, guilty and insecure. revali hates it. "i can't control what goes on in that stubborn head of yours, but don't doubt me. don't doubt this, what we have. i chose you, all of you, what you are, what you do, what you offer. i'll gladly receive it all, because it's you."

link's breath catches. "revali..."

but revali shakes his head and pulls lightly on link's waist. "that's enough thinking for you tonight," he says. "come back to me and continue with your touchy inclinations. i'm rather fond of it now."

so link with that ever so familiar wide, blue-eyed gaze tentatively leans back down and wraps himself around revali's body again, as they were before, his face buried in the space between revali's neck and head and his breath beginning to even out. revali envelops his clingy songbird in his wings, nuzzling the side of link's face with his eyes shut, beginning to drift to sleep himself, but he needs to make himself clear before either of them drift too far.

"i love you," revali murmurs against link's skin. "goddesses know why you ever doubted it, but i do and i always will. if you wish to possess me, my body is yours to command as you please. if you wish to woo me, my heart has already been infatuated with you for far longer than you've realized you desired me too. my very soul and my entire being belong to you now, for as long as you will it to be."

link doesn't say anything more, but revali can feel his little jewel hug him tighter. "i chose you," revali whispers. "please remember that. i chose to be with you, for the rest of my life. i'm not letting go of you so soon, so please don't let go of me either."

they both grow quiet after that, and revali thinks link has already fallen asleep when—

"i won't," link whispers back. "i won't let you go. i'm all yours too, revali, i love you too."

revali coos lowly in response, holding link a little tighter in his arms. "good. if it's my skin you wish to be in, then it's yours to live under. i wouldn't have it any other way. now, go to sleep. your mind runs circles around itself like a hylian retriever if left without the careful hand of a trainer, like myself."

"whatever," link snorts, but he shifts and squirms and nestles himself under revali's chin until he's comfortable again, until his breathing evens out. only then does revali relax, wings still wrapped firmly around his sweet little songbird, and lets sleep claim him too.

[theflyindutchwoman]

How do you think the writers will take Chenford moving forward? I know exploring long-term UC for Lucy and how that will impact Chenford's relationship is a possibility, but what do you think about other things like proposal, marriage and kids? Especially kids, since that is something Tim and Lucy have talked about numerous times.

I have this thought that pregnancy storyline was always written mainly due to logistics instead of what the writers wanted in originally. This mainly stems from the fact that the few times they have pregnancy in the show were because the actresses that played Angela Lopez and Nyla Harper were pregnant themselves and thus pregnancy was written in the storyline, so it kinda makes me think Tim and Lucy having kids may not be something we will see in the series. What do you think?

Ooh speculation time… This might be an unpopular opinion, but I agree, I don't see Lucy and Tim having a baby in the near future, at least not if the writers have a say in it.

As you mentioned, these storylines have been written to accommodate the actresses' real life pregnancies (not sure for Angela's second baby). They didn't get to properly prepare in advance, hence the three unplanned pregnancies plotlines. And I think that's partially the reason why Tim and Lucy have been speaking about kids so much : the writers want to do with them what they didn't get to do with the other couples. We didn't see the conversation, the planning… None of that. They have this opportunity here. Even better, Lucy and Tim had both already their own arc about this topic : her with the fertility clinic and him with having his dream of being a father being dashed repeatedly. And it's something they've discussed together in the past, so it makes sense that they would bring it up from time to time. But I don't think that means they are planning babies just yet. Ideally, Lucy would first get settled in her career - same with Tim for that matter. Otherwise, it would simply be a repeat of Angela's struggles when she got pregnant just as she was becoming a detective. I also wonder whether they're going to reopen the fertility clinic arc or not… In the meantime, having them coach Little League or spend a day with their Make-A-Dream kid is actually a smart way to give us some insights on what kind of parents they could be, without having to introduce a child just quite yet. We may get to see them as parents one day, I'm not ruling it out completely, but it will depend on how many more seasons we get.

If I had to venture a guess, I'd say that the first order of business would be to resolve the undercover/promotion storyline for Lucy. The writers have been teasing this arc all season long, so it's time to move forward. I don't mean that Lucy necessarily has to take a final decision regarding undercover, just that she needs to get to the next stage of her career. Undercover aside, Tim already mentioned that their scheduling hours could present an issue once she makes detective, that they might spend less time together. So it would be interesting to delve a little into that, see how they make it work… which could, in turn, lead to a conversation about moving in together and/or buying a house. After all, that's the discussion that set the wheels in motion and brought Tim and Lucy together. So that could be a full-circle moment. And it could pave the way for the next step : proposal.

Now, I don't think we will see one next season : with S6 shortened, it might be tricky. I know it might also seem too soon, but these two are already serious and committed, they know what they want and they know the other very well. Besides, so far, all the main couples got engaged relatively fast : Wesley proposed to Angela after 6-9 months of dating, Nyla and James got married after a few months (though in all fairness, it was precipitated by the pregnancy) and Nolan was ready to ask Bailey after dating her for like 8 episodes?! There's clearly a pattern here. But again, with a shorter season and a wedding already planned, the writers might want to keep that for later… All in all, it will really depend on how short this season will be (we stand with WGA/SAG-AFTRA in this house) and whether they can get a renewal for s7.

[pissfingers-illegal]

I'll probably delete this later bcs i'm tired and angry but

My fucking God would it be nice for people i'm close to to stop pretending that i'm perfectly normal

Like yes, i for others to treat me like they would someone else, but at the same time acknowledging that i have some things off would be nice.

I have disorganized speech- i often struggle with speaking, have pauses, use incorrect words and grammar, forget words, etc. It's mostly due to psychosis, and it's something i am very insecure about. Same goes with my memory loss. I've forgotten words, important events, personal i formation and such details, and it is very much frustrating when i struggle to even remember my own native language. Yet the only time anyone acknowledges that is when they joke about it. They'll get angry about me forgetting to do something, they'll think i'm dumb when i make a complete word salad, and then they'll poke fun at me, but they'll still fail to see the underlying problem. And even if they do, they won't think it's a big deal.

When i was younger and my school asked if i'll need any special treatment, my dad said "It's nothing to worry about". I spent the next 2 years with shitty grades due to the cognitive issues that came with psychosis, bullied becouse i was seen as weird, and always late becouse my pills made me so awfuly sleepy and drowsy. My family was either angry or joked about it. And my school didn't do anything becouse my dad already told them that it's nothing to worry about.

It feels like they're just pretending that i'm a normal son. Like all my flaws and failiures are due to my own character, and not some other untreated issue. It feels like any progress that i make is ruined by either them bullying me, or by the fact that they won't even try to accommodate for my issues, becouse they don't think i have any.

[ina-nis]

I feel really bad about it but I really cannot stand being around partnered people, be it online or in person.

It's like... a really terrible trigger for loneliness.

I've heard the "remedy" to heal and surpass feelings of envy and jealousy has to do with looking inwards and stopping comparisons.

All I do in my life 24/7 is to look inwards.

I try to never really compare myself to others because it makes me sick so...

This is a discomfort that can't be soothed by self-introspection or individuality - how ironic...!

These last few days I've been trying really hard to see where these feelings are coming from, because these people have nothing to do with me or my issues and they're - quite literally - not at fault, they're just existing.

There's disgust.

There's envy too, a lot of it. As much as I hate to admit it.

There's the feeling of wanting to keep a distance or not even establish any connections with them (e.g: we cannot be friends), because I know their partner(s) are always going to be a priority in their life, and I don't want to be relegated to a secondary role.

I'm probably extremely sensitive of these issues because I'm alone. I'm sure (or rather, I suspect) most these issues will disappear once I'm partnered myself.

But it's hard isn't it?

So far, all the people I've tried going for didn't want me, or maybe they wanted me but weren't ready for it (so I was supposed to accommodate them), or maybe they realized they were mistaken.

Every.

Single.

Experience.

I have had.

I'm sitting here, my eyes are burning, but I'm tired of crying over this.

I don't know what to do with my feelings, I don't know how to make them stop and just... leave me be.

I'm alright without mutual love or romance, without the comfort and care of another, without intimacy too - always have been, you learn to stop wanting and eventually stop trying, too.

I don't know what to do. Don't get me wrong, hearing that the "dating scene is in shambles these days" don't really help, I'm not naive.

I do know there's something uncanny and terribly wrong with me that is very transparent (and I don't really go out of my way to hide anymore), but that doesn't make me worthless or unlovable.

And yet, each person I meet has already rejected me in my mind, and that's a pain too big to deal with.

Every person I have met have abandoned me in some way and left me to rot - and I can't really complain because I'm supposed to "suck it up" and "deal with it" in therapy... alright.

Can't complain because that's not attractive.

Can't be or look desperate because that's a red flag.

Don't have close friends? Huge red flag. Steer clear.

Only talks about relationship issues? Desperate and red flag. Stay away.

Is intimidating by existing? Fix that with therapy.

Showing symptoms of mental disorders? Therapy again.

In some twisted way, I'm glad I've never been in a relationship, because all those people fucking sucked for different reasons. Why did I fall in love with them? I fall in love with anyone... it's literally a pain in the fucking ass.

I don't have a lot of first times anymore, but the ones I do have, I really want to use for someone deserving of my time and my energy.

And for the other things, I can only hope to find someone who will be able to give me meaningful memories, instead of more trauma and bullshit.

"No one" is good too.

I just hope to come to terms with it eventually.

[briarworthandoleander]

Oh, that is sudden. Pray tell, if its not too personal to ask, why are you moving there? Kamura is pretty isolated and although the climate can be accommodating for many monsters, moving the whole Rehabilitation center sounds cumbersome.

Several reasons. Two of which I can tell you immediately.

Recently a lot of our rescues are native to Kamura and with the Rampage numbers of certain species are rather low, Huggies and Emmett are prime examples of creatures that will be released to help restore the population.

Secondly;

Your eyes do not deceive you; that is a larval Gore Magala.

Note how the immature eyes are not yet obscured by the innate glow of a Magala further along in its development.

Before anyone asks: this is a cadaver brought back from a field excursion. We would not host a live one in our sanctuary for rather obvious reasons.

Gore Magala are arguably not native to Elgado - which is close to Kamura - so we have to investigate as to why they're showing up now and prevent a worse disaster from happening to the animals that live in both areas. Should the Gore Magala travel to Kamura and mature further: the already decimated population may actually fail to recover.

Thirdly, I'm sure many are now aware of the presense of the Elder Dragons Ibushi and Narwa. There's more work to be done to properly classify and perhaps even co exist with such fearsome creatures. After all; it's not every day that someone can resonate with what could be argued as being the incarnations of destruction and renewal.

That and...it bothers me. There's something about us being asked to hunt down a mating couple of elder dragons that we do not know the numbers of nor the rarity of such couplings to ascertain the right to hunt them. We could potentially wipe an entire species off the surface of the world through ignorance and I don't think mankind has the right to do so. Hell; we assume through translated words that they wanted the destruction of everything - but language is a tricky thing, and even more so with creatures that may just not have, nor comprehend a word for what they truly mean.

There's so much to research and find out, and I need to know the truth.

Besides, it's becoming obvious we cannot continue in Astera as we are.

-Leo Briarworth

[bellafragolina]

Attached

gonna start by thanking @peachsodama for having such a big brain. i have not stopped thinking about this for a second, and if i have it's to think about things that tie into this, so thank you peach. i love you <3

none of this is canon by the way. i'm throwing my own spin on the hivemind au. it's up to peach if she wants anything to be canon or whatnot

🍓🍓🍓

Those before never treated their puppets nicely. They drained them, forced them to work themselves to death, then threw them aside when they were no long useful. Ingo and Emmet both were horrified by this treatment of puppets, things that should be cherished instead of abused, so when they set off on their own, they knew they would do things different, better.

Ingo is the first on to acquire a "guest," as he likes to call them. He attaches himself to you, feels your thoughts in his head, and your energy like a soft red wine (or whatever humans say). You cry, and you scream, and you rage within your own mind, but Ingo knows you're better this way. You're healthy, taken care of, and protected by him and Emmet too, as he searches out his own puppet while learning from Ingo how to take care of one.

There are battles, as Ingo struggles to understand what your body needs and how to accommodate it, but he's happy to do it. To feel your mind slowly calm, accept him, stop fighting him at every turn, and instead just be within its own thoughts and daydreams. He grows to enjoy the times where he lets you dictate yourself, no longer clawing or shouting at him, but instead lying with him to "cuddle" or something similarly calm.

So very calm.

You've become so calm.

Too calm.

Ingo doesn't know why he doesn't notice it. The lack of brain activity should be a red alarm, yet it doesn't strike him. The busy days at the Gear Station, guiding you and coaxing trust out of the other Depot Agents lead him to being distracted. Until he suddenly realizes he hasn't heard you think anything for quite some time.

Pains gnaw at him as he takes you to an empty break room. He checks you over for any injury he could've somehow missed, but there are none. Your eyes are hollow, your frown hard set into your face to match his own.

The pain makes itself known as hunger once he pulls away control from you, and you collapse to the floor.

You're not moving.

Ingo shakes you, prods at your mind, does anything he can think of to rouse anything out of you. But you don't respond, lying on the floor with gentle breaths and unseeing eyes.

Vegetative, the paramedics that come for you call it. Ingo watches them reel you away, communicator clutched in his hand, and by the looks of it, they're not coming back.

Emmet presses close to his brother as he sobs of the loss of his first guest, one he treasured so dearly. He already feels alone in his head, your daydreams of dancing Cutieflies in colorful meadows missing, leaving his world in sad monochrome.

"Don't get attached." The words echo in his ears. He connects to another human, hands shaking as he recognizes that soon this one will die like all the ones before it. "They are not worth it. Don't get attached."

He attaches anyway.

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ta-da!

i'm embarrassed so that's all from me folks!

~Renee