#another was about my ex having gone insane and trying to hunt me down and yeah that was fun to think about i just kinda accepted it

[eti-mun]

I had really vivid dreams

[levwrites]

Deadly Haven (part 4)

Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3

An injured, hunted hero hides in his former lover's safehouse to catch a breath. Unfortunately, his presence is soon noticed by said ex-lover.

"What are you doing?" A quiet question, helpless.

Hero shouldn't show vulnerability, he knows. But he needs Villain to get to the torture. He can't take much more of this.

Instead, Villain just keeps caressing him. "Give it a few days, and the world will stop looking for you," they say instead of answering properly. "I'll make sure they'll think you dead."

"But I won't be." A tense statement. Not a question. A few days is nothing. He's seen Villain torture people for months.

No longer than that. They always break.

Another gentle caress. "Of course not."

"Of course not." Hero echoes them, voice almost empty of feeling. The gentle caresses make everything taste bitter, hit harder. Now he understands. Villain truly is an artist.

Villain smiles, satisfied. "You've run away from me for long enough. You were good, I couldn't find you anywhere no matter how hard I looked."

Hero smiles, a faint little thing. Just the shadow of the smiles Villain must remember. "It's not the first time I've done something like this." Been a spy. Betrayed people. Had to run.

"You managed to escape me." Villain sounds... almost proud. "That's a first." They have always loved a good hunt, after all. "But eventually, you came to me." A smile. Hero has missed that smile so much.

He sighs, bone-tired. "I had nowhere else to go." Echoing words he's said to them before.

And we've come full circle. Bitterly amused.

Villain seems to echo his thoughts. "You've come to me once before." He cups Hero's cheek. "Said those exact words."

"The situation was different." Hero's jaw clenches. He's not going to lean into the touch. He is not.

"Do you even remember it? You were almost delirious when I found you."

"I remember enough." The touch, he remembers that. He won't ever forget it.

"Good. Then you know." Their thumb moves across Hero's cheekbone, just below his eye. It doesn't press down, doesn't try to scratch. For now, Villain seems satisfied with the caresses.

Hero's face softens slightly for a moment before going back to neutrality. Gentle touches are hard to resist. He hasn't felt them in so long. Was always awed that Villain of all people would gift them to him.

"Know what?" Careful, cautious.

"That you're mine."

"I wanted to live. Both times." Hero's lips twist. "My mistake." He should have read the situation better. Shouldn't have tried to convince himself of something that wasn't real.

And now he gets to live, alright.

Villain frowns at him. "I'm not going to kill you, Hero."

"I know." By now Hero's teeth almost bared in frustration, but there's nothing he can do. He's restrained, and still on Villain's lap.

And now there's a hint of frustration in Villain's eyes, too. "Why do you keep running?" they ask, a cold bite around the words. "Isn't it enough? Years. Aren't you tired of running from me?"

"Of course I am!" Hero clenches his teeth. "But I won't let you keep me. I refuse." Seething. Final.

Villain keeps talking like being tortured by him will bring him some great relief. Have they gone insane? Do they think love has made Hero insane?

"You refuse?"

Hero tenses slightly at the anger in their voice.

"You refuse, Hero?" Villain asks again, as if they cannot wrap their head around that. "You are mine."

He narrows his eyes at them. "You can't expect me to be happy about this." His voice is tight with anger and pain, but he cannot look away from their eyes. "Just accept what's to come."

Villain's beloved eyes narrow. "If you could, you would run again. No hesitation." It's not a question.

"I don't understand what you want from me!" The frustration finally explodes in Hero's voice, even as his eyes remain almost pleading. "Why are you angry of all things? What, am I not reacting the way you thought I would?" He shakes his head, forceful. "I gave you something that was not mine to give." A flicker of regret taints his words. "I was loyal to someone else. And so I had to betray you, in the end. I brought this on myself, I know."

By the end of it, he feels an eerie calm descend on his mind. "You have every right to seek your revenge," he murmurs, knowing he deserves it. That has never stopped him from running away from it. "But you can't expect me to just face it head-on."

He hesitates, biting his lip.

"I did love you." Soft. Pained. "I'm sorry I deceived you."

Epilogue

[fairestwriting]

I dont know if you're comfortable with this but may i please request headcanons of Leona, Rook, Trey and Idia with their s/o with an "ex lovers to lovers again" relationship with them. I'm sorry if it makes you uncomfortable.

Leona Kingscholar

His confidence is on and off before you get used to each other again. He’s happy to have this second chance, deep down, but Leona holds grudges, he feels bitter. Sort of uncomfortable.

The way he acts when you two are out in public is pretty much the same, grumpy with the occasional teasing, though the latter is much more tame than the first time you two were together, like he’s afraid to offend you.

When you’re in private, his uncertainty really shows up. He hesitates to touch you without asking, to come on too strong. There’s some longing on his eyes, though, you can tell he wants it.

It takes a lot of time with Leona to really heal your relationship, but all that needs to happen is for him to get used to it really. His grudges will eventually fade, and you two will be just like before, or maybe even better.

Rook Hunt

If Rook went as far as to let you back into his life, it’s because he believes wholeheartedly that both of you deserve it, that it’d be worth the effort of trying to make your relationship work again.

He’s not that much different from when you were first together. He’ll act theatrical, bold and outspoken, going on his ages-long rambles. You’ll feel like you just pressed a reset button. If that’s what you’re looking for, you’ll be comfortable being with him again.

But if you have any issues to address, Rook won’t be afraid to do so. He’s rather gentle when he talks, though, like his feelings on the matter are long gone and settled. You’re not sure if he’s upset or not, but in any case, he treats you like he isn’t.

Honestly, not a lot of things change. If Rook is doing this, it’s because he knows things will be fine again. So there isn’t much to be done about anything, is there?

Trey Clover

Whether it was you or him that gave the other a chance, he’s very grateful for the opportunity. He’s determined to make things better than they ever were.

It’s tentative for a while, but Trey will do his very best to show you how much he wants to make things work again. He’s always done that, but now he checks up on you more often, coming to your dorm to give you treats he’s baked, everything to make you feel taken care of and safe.

This makes him want to think about his own issues and work on himself more, honestly. He wonders what went wrong about your relationship before, what he’s done to damage it. After he works through them mentally, he’ll offer apologies to you.

Overall very patient and dedicated, he loves you and he’s very hopeful for your future.

Idia Shroud

There’s... a lot to unpack here. Whether it was you or him that ultimately caused the end of your relationship beforehand, Idia will blame himself for it, and he finds it insane you’d give him another chance.

So he tends towards acting even more passive than he was back then, while a part of him also feels bitter about how you ended things, he holds a grudge without evening meaning to. So, kind of passive-aggressive.

It takes a lot -- And I mean, a lot -- of communication to get this to work out with Idia. He has both a lot of self worth issues and that grudge he’s holding, the energy won’t be good until you talk everything out with him.

But one thing’s certain, and it’s that Idia loves you, he wouldn’t have allowed for you two to reunite if he didn’t. Once everything is sorted out, he’ll realize how sour he’s been and apologize to you.

(+ if you like my writing, you can buy me a ko-fi to support me!)

[firesoulstuff]

Hi, could I request CC with something along the lines of this: 'I love you, and no matter how you feel about me, I always will. If you want my friendship, you have it. If you want to never see me again, I'm gone. You stole my heart and I'm okay with that, but if you're gonna break it, be gentle.'

I kept it along the lines but definitely not in those exact words, hope it's ok!

Read on AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27544165/chapters/100544886

This is not how Sara had pictured this night going.

In the standard fashion of their semi-annual defeating the “big bad” celebration, she had pictured getting insanely drunk, at which point she might finally be teetering on the edge of the proper courage to take out that ring she’d bought and ask Ava to marry her. She even figured that, more likely than not, she would lose that nerve and go hide in the bathroom of the club where she would promptly throw up. Of course, no Legend knows the meaning of “personal space” so someone – and hopefully not Ava – would follow her and she would explain this entire plan. That person would then, in one form or another, tell her to get ahold of herself and wait to propose tomorrow or some other time when she and Ava are both at least kind of sober.

Now, Sara can adapt to a changing plan. It’s something about her that she can tell both infatuates and infuriates Ava, but this is a hell of a change even by Legends standards.

She was abducted by goddamn aliens.

Now, that alone, maybe she could process it and adapt. But she is also being asked to accept that the alien who abducted her is Gary.

Apparently he was sent after her a long time ago, him and his now ex-fiancée were tasked with bringing back a specific brand of human for some mysterious boss to study.

“We tried others.” He promises her, maybe trying to make her feel better about all this. “But our assignment was to find a prime example of humanity’s ability to survive, and with your history-”

“I get it.” She huffs, and she sets down the tarp she’d managed to recover from the crash. “I need a break.”

She knows her message of I need to be away from you is more than clear in the snarl of her tone, and to Gary’s credit he doesn’t try to follow her.

The same can’t be said for his other prisoner.

The bloodlust is always there, niggling at the back of her mind. At this point, though, keeping it in check is second nature. She hardly notices it when there isn’t an active bloodbath around her, and when there is she’s gotten good at acknowledging to herself that yes it is there, but she is in charge. She is in control.

So, it’s been a long time since she felt like this.

She can feel it buzzing under her skin. All over again it feels like a sick compulsion that she might lose her handle on at any second. The rage is screaming in her veins. In her mind’s eye she sees vividly the desire to tear Gary apart. Her darkness is shouting, begging her to make Gary suffer. He deserves it. He hunted her.

“You ok?”

It’s Gary’s other prisoner. One of them, because of course there were others. But this is the one who survived the fight with Kayla, who survived the crash.

She glances over her shoulder at Leonard Snart.

She can feel the heat, the fury, spiking in her veins.

How dare he. Gary. What gave him the right to rip Leonard away from her? What gave him the right to swoop in with his stupid tractor beam and take Leonard the moment The Oculus blew?

“It was supposed to be you.” Gary had said, and she didn’t even want to know what had given him the idea that she would be holding down that failsafe.

She had thought about it, but she knew she couldn’t take Leonard without knocking him out, and then all three of them would’ve died.

“Peachy.” She snarls at him, and he smirks, and it calms her just a little bit.

He’s a good twenty feet or so away from her, but he saunters closer, looking around at the strange planet they’ve found themselves on.

“Gotta say, I think I prefer the Waverider over an alien planet.”

Sara can’t help but to smile. It melts over her face, into her feature, and the bloodlust is still there under her skin but it’s quieter. It’s like it’s conceding, knowing now is not the time for it to be dwelled on; she can maim Gary later.

“Or the inside of a pod.” He adds, his voice lower, his eyes off to the side looking at the distance before he flits them back to her.

“How long’s it been?”

How could she lie to him? “Four years.”

Four years, and he doesn’t seem all that surprised.

He’s quiet. Thinking. He looks around a bit, and ambles just a little more forward. She lets him have that time, but her heart is pounding. She has to tell him what he’s missed, and oh he has missed so much. Vandal Savage, everyone who came and went from the team, Lita, Ava.

Ava.

Ava, who for five seconds, they managed to get ahold of through a shotty transmission before they crashed. Ava, whose main hobby is prioritizing, and she decided the best use of that five seconds was to let Sara know she’d found out about her plan. She used that time to answer the question Sara never got to ask.

She said yes.

Maybe she will throw up.

“How long did you spend with our friend over there on the ship?”

His question pulls her back. He’s watching her, and maybe it’s him who is doing his best to let her sort out her thoughts and feelings rather than the other way around.

“Three.”

He nods, the kind of nod that hides anger, anger that Gary hid among their ranks for so long, let so much happen before he made his move.

And so much did happen.

“He came the same time as Ava.”

She isn’t sure why she’s blurted that out. It’s the last thing she wants to talk about, but she isn’t sure if she can go on with him here and not talk about it. She doesn’t know where this disaster will end, but she doesn’t plan on losing him again.

At least, not in the life sacrificing way.

And, she would much prefer not in any other way, but she won’t let herself be so hopeful.

“Four years…” Len drawls, “Clearly I missed a lot.”

He did. He really, really did. There is so much that she wants to tell him. Everything. Everything that has to do with Ava and everything that doesn’t. But she can’t find the words, where the hell is she supposed to start?

He walks even closer, but there is still at least a foot of space between them, and his expression is hard and thoughtful.

“I get it. Things have changed. And I suspect that when we get back… I’ll have a lot more change waiting for me.”

She nods, even if it isn’t a question, and he forces a humoring half grin like he’s accepting an answer.

“I’ll figure it out.” He promises, “And as for me and you,” she blinks, he blinks, like he hadn’t really meant to say that. “If you want to be friends, I’d like that. If you’d rather never see me again, consider me gone. I was asleep the whole time I was in that pod so we both know how I feel.”

He pauses, then, stuffing his hands into his jacket pockets and squinting up at the sun. He isn’t good at… feelings. She knows this, it’s part of why the two of them worked so well together.

Then he looks back to her.

“Can you just do me one favor assassin?”

She feels like she is staring blankly at him, but she manages to nod.

“Of course.”

He sighs.

“Let me down easy.”

Even if she wanted to, he doesn’t give her a chance to plead with him or argue or anything. He turns away from her, leaving her there to watch him start a hike back to the crash site. 

[slasherheadcanons]

Im feeling angsty yk. So slashers watching their s/o die. Watching them die and how would life go on with out them. Extra points if somehow they come back to life perfectly normal and they are just like "hey lmao" ✨✨✨✨

Oooh! Gotta love angsty stuff. Here you go! Enjoy.

Warning: Slight gore?

•Slashers reacting to the S/o dying then later coming back•

Michael Myers: •When you died, whether it was because of something natural or someone killed you, Michael flew into a blind rage. His heart was hurting, and unable to handle this emotion, he acts violently. He destroys everything that gets in his way. After a long few weeks, he finally stops his killing spree. But he still isn't the same. He sits by himself in your house, staring at everything. He would never admit it, but he loved and cared for you. Now that you are gone, he feels like a part of him is missing. •After a long sleepless month for Michael, he finally brings himself to go outside. He lumbers down the sidewalk, getting lost in his thoughts. Until he heard his name being called. He turns to the person, ready to snap their neck. But he freezes when he sees you standing there with a smile on your face. You looked perfectly healthy and alive. He reaches out, touching your cheek, wondering if your real or just another illusion. When he feels your warm skin against his fingers, his shoulders start shaking a little as he tries to hold in his emotions. You hug him tightly, and he hugs you back.

Bubba Sawyer: •When you died, Bubba was overcome with grief. He howled and wailed in despair as he held your body close. He wailed for hours on end, refusing to let you go. No matter what his family tried to do, he wouldn't budge. He held you close and attempted to get you to open your eyes multiple times. He didn't want to believe that you were gone. But, when reality hits him that you aren't coming back, his heart shatters. He takes you out and finds a peaceful spot on the property to bury your body. Even after burying your body, Bubba is not the same. He is quiet and rarely even makes a sound. He struggles to chase down victims and can't bring himself to sleep in his bed where both of you snuggled up together. Dayton and the twins try to cheer him up, but nothing works •Then, one day, Bubba is out helping Dayton with fixing the car. He stands with the tools in his hand, staring blankly at the ground. His head lifts when he hears another car pull up to the property. He sighs softly, just thinking it another victim to chase down. But when he sees you get out of the car, he freezes. When you see him and smile, waving your hand, he looks at Dayton to see if he was seeing the same thing. Dayton is just as shocked as Bubba. "Bubba! I am back." You call out to him, and that's all it took for Bubba to realize you are alive. He races over to you, picking up in his arms and spinning you around, squealing with joy. He doesn't know how you came back, but he is thankful you did. The whole family celebrates your return.

Jason Voorhees: •The moment you stop breathing, Jason stands there frozen for just a moment before rushing to your side. He shakes you, trying to get you to open your eyes. Silently pleading for you to open your eyes. He continues to try and wake you for hours before he finally brings himself to realize you are not going to be opening your eyes. He pulls your body close to his chest. His shoulders shake as he cries silently, unable to cry out in anguish and grief. He lost his mother, and now you as well. He clings to you for a week at least before finally pushing himself to bury your body. He finds a beautiful and peaceful spot in the forest around the campgrounds and buries you there. After your death, he isn't the same. He either sits by your grave thinking about the times you had together or wanders around the campgrounds, lost in thought. He struggles to find the will to go kill intruders. He feels so lost and alone. •But one day, while he was wandering, he heard someone call his name. He looked around before finding you running towards him with a grin on your face. He freezes in place, shocked. When you stop in front of him, he reaches out to touch your face. Thinking you are just a ghost, he touches your face. His eyes widen as he feels the warmth of your smooth skin. He looks at you as you smile. "I am back, Jason." It was all you needed to say to him. He pulls you close hugging, you tightly to his chest, afraid that the moment he lets go, you will vanish.

Asa Emory (the collector): •When you pass away, Asa tries to pretend that it doesn't bother him. That he isn't affected by your death. But deep inside, he is suffering. He tries to cover the pain and grief he feels with anger. Acting even more violently towards those in his collection. He never speaks to anyone at the college and never lets anyone see his true emotions. He struggles to sleep at night. Every time he lays in his own bed, he is reminded of all the times you would kiss him goodnight or snuggle up to his chest, seeking to be held in his strong arms. He missed everything about you, your touch, your voice, your laughter. He missed you so badly. •One day, he returned home from the college, his eyes drooping slightly with exhaustion. He has barely been able to sleep since you took your last breath. He parked the car in the driveway, sighing loudly. He may have been sleep deprived, but he still picks up on the way the front door is slightly cracked open. He narrows his tired eyes, grabbing his knife from his pocket before slowly and cautiously making his way to the door. He listened closely as he reached the door, hearing some shuffling, he quickly ran in knife raised to face the intruder. But he quickly stops in his tracks, stunned at what he sees in front of him. You stand in front of smiling while holding a tray of freshly made cookies. His eyes are wide as he starts at you slowly, lowering the knife. "Y/n?" He quietly asked in disbelief, wondering if he has finally gone insane. You smile and nod. "I am back now, Asa, and I don't plan on leaving again anytime soon." You respond with a chuckle. He sets the knife down, going over to you. He has you set the tray down before pulling you into his arms, hugging you. "If you ever leave me again, I will find a way to punish you." He mumbles in your ear, trying to sound like he isn't tearing up with joy. You laugh and kiss his cheek. "I have no doubt you will, my dearest bug boy." You reply.

Jesse Cromeans (Chromeskull): •Most likely, you got killed by Preston. So when Jesse learned that you are dead, he is furious. Jesse is terrifying, to begin with, but when he is this pissed off, he is so much worse. Nothing, and I mean nothing, is going to stop him from gutting Preston and shoving them down his throat. He is going to hunt him down non-stop until he is dead. After Preston is gone, he returns to your body which, Spann took care of while he was away chasing Preston. He kicks everyone else out of the room so no one can see him cry. He is a strong man but losing you is just too much to bear. He lost his ex-wife, his child, and now he has lost you. If he could speak, he would be screaming out with grief. It takes him a while to finally agree to bury you. He makes sure you are buried in the most beautiful place and brings flowers to your grave every day. •Now, when you return, Spann is the one who found you while she was out looking for Jesse's next victim. She was shocked to see you. At first, she was thinking, you were just someone else who looked a lot like you, but when you recognized her, she realizes that it's actually you. She quickly rushes you back to Jesse. Jesse was sitting at his desk when Spann barged in. He sighs through his nose, looking up to see why she came in without knocking. But when he sees you come in after her, his jaw drops. He sits there in shock. You smile at him. "There is my handsome man." You say, at that moment he recognizes it's you. He stands and quickly goes over to you, pulling you close to his chest. He forgets all about finding another victim, now spending the rest of the day holding and spending time with you.

[originalwinnercheesecake]

Chain of Iron theories: the adopted baby

Here is another hot discussion topic in the fandom. CC has hinted that their will be a special baby, and that they will need to be adopted. So Questions, who is giving a baby up and why? I am assuming that this is a Shadowhunter baby. I cannot see either Hypatia Vex or Kellington who party, operate a secret saloon, and take pleasure in seducing interesting artistic individuals deciding to devote themselves to parenthood. Woosley Scott is set to show up, but their is no way he wants to adopt. Every other downworlder has appeared in the future and never made reference to having raised a baby. So which shadowhunters in this series of so many parents, children, and would be couples are looking to adopt? We know that shadowhunters adoption program isn’t perfect; Ariadne being adopted by an elderly white couple who know nothing about Indian culture and Tatiana somehow being allowed to adopt Grace despite the fact that she is aggressive, clearly insane, and famously unable to care for the one child she gave birth to. But I want to hold on to hope that whoever this little baby is their story will end happily with being given a nice home and family. My Theories

Anna and Ariadne  adopt Eugenia’s baby. (retracted)

  This was my original theory. In COG2 we learnt that Eugenia temporarily left home because of some scandal no one really wants to talk about. It apparently involved her and some guy being caught in a “compromising position” after which said guy could have saved things by asking to marry her but did not? ??? This led many people to believe she and this guy had been immanent and that she might now be pregnant., but unable to raise the baby on her own. So she would give it up for adoption. Eugenia’s older sister Barbara had an understanding with a very nice gentleman named Oliver and kept trying to get Oliver to purpose. I wondered if maybe a reason Barbara was in such a rush to marry is she was hoping for her and Oliver to adopt Eugenia’s baby and pass them off as theirs. Now that both Barbara and Oliver are sadly deceased Eugenia would need to look into finding new  parents to take he unborn child. Well spoilers relating to Eugenia state that despite having different interests and hobbies, she and Anna get along well. She also is set to become friends with Ariadne. Ariadne who really wanted to be a mom. So I thought that if Eugenia was pregnant and looking to give her child up for adoption then maybe she would ask Anna and Ariadne to adopt her baby. That had the potential to be sweet.

  But we have gotten more information now, and surprise surprise, people jumped the gun to quick on what happened with Eugenia. While we still do not know what the scandal was, it is hinted to have been way less extreme/serious than premarital intimacy, and she is very unlikely to be pregnant. I am now hoping that her ex got into a fight with some other guy, she stepped in to hit the other guy with a parasol, and her ex got embarrassed about having to be saved by her and broke up with her. Something that shows the guy was a real loser.

Elias puts Baby Carstairs up for adoption

  In COG2 we got a huge surprise that Sona was pregnant with her third child, unexpected as the family tree only lists her and Elias as having two children. Well actually actually the Carstairs family line is tree has parts of it that “Were lost to time”. So something clearly happened. Jem was clearly hiding something.

   This pregnancy was clearly unplanned and does present some worry’s. For starters Sona is well past the age where it easier/safest for women to give have children. She was already starting to have a difficult time with it during COG2 when she finally confessed to Cordelia that she was about 3 months along. This means that she will be about 7 months along (almost ready to give birth) when we pick up again in COI. Well in the early chapter read Alastair said that his mother has been put on Bed rest with her husband staying by her side and silent brothers monitoring her. This does not sound good. Several people have theorized that even with the brothers help, she will not make it through childbirth. Now lets talk about the babies father Elias Carstairs. Elias Carstairs is even older than his wife. He spent his youth traveling the world (I read a tweet that said he has even gone between dimensions before) leading special expeditions and hunting rare and powerful demons. This sounds grand, but it was a grueling life that left him physically and emotionally scared. Tragically the Clave does not recognize mental health as a need, so they do not provide any kind of therapy or treatment for those who become traumatized. Like many poor soldiers throughout American history Elias was there for the Clave when they needed his help but it that help was not reciprocated at the end. The only comfort he found was at the bottom of the bottle. It took Elias until he was already in his 40′s to start a family, and he has struggled with being able to take care of himself enough to act as a father to the two children he and Sona have already raised. Elias is 63. He is sad and tired, and struggling to keep a handle on his sobriety. This child was unplanned. I have read tweets that show he is at least trying to support Sona, but CC reveals he is questioning if or if not he can really do this a third time. If Sona dies there is no way Elias can raise this child himself. I won’t fault him if he makes that choice, it might be the most loving thing he can do.

   Who would adopt the little guy. Well the most common theory is that Alastair and Thomas would become his new dads. Now the family tree does suggest that both Alastair and Thomas are dads in the future. It also doesn’t list the names of either of their spouses (I am guessing neither had wives) so their is nothing to suggest that they do not live together raising a group of adopted children. Given the way the Cave feels about homosexual parents that could also be why Jem “lost” the records. I will not deny Thomstair becoming adopted parents is plausible, but I am not completely sure that baby Carstaris is who they will adopt. Babies are hard, they are a lot of work, and I am not convinced either Alastair or Thomas will be up to it. Look at Alastair. He is not exactly in a good place at the start of COI, and whenever fans ask CC if Alastair will make any friends she always reply that he won’t until he learns how to speak nicely to people and to be there for them when they need him. Honestly that is a thing he struggles with. He obviously loves Cordelia, but he totally pulled an  Queen Elsa on her where he shut the door and shut her out for roughly 7 years of their lives, leaving her as alone as Anna was. He claims to have loved Charles but the pair spend most of COG arguing because Alastair wants Charles to spend all his time with him and Charles is struggling to balance his promotion, his public reputation, and Alastair (Important I am not saying it was wrong for Alastair to be upset about Charles engagements or to break up with him. I am just saying it seems like Charles did try to see Alastair as much as he could, and Alastair trying to pin all his emotional needs on one person, who already had so much going on, was unfair). On Thomas side well lets just say he has a lot of mixed up and complicated feeling of his own he needs to work out before he will be able to be in a healthy relationship let alone raise a child.

  If Thomstair aren’t able to take care of Baby Carstairs I bet I know a long time married, long time Carstairs loving couple, who would be happy to take the little guy in and have enough resources, experience, and love to give him a great life. Hey in the future Tessa says she has kept watch over three families: the Herondales, the Carstairs, and the Blackthorns. The Herondales and the Blackthorns are her and Will’s grandchildren. If she were watching the Carstairs because they were once her friends wouldn’t she also watch out for the Fairchilds and Lightwoods?

Blackthorn Babies with Mundane and Shadowhunter mommies and daddies

  (Okay this is one will involve some hopping around and several references to the family tree, so stay with me people, stay with me.) We aleady know Jem made some changes to this line. Lucie is not 12, she is 16. Tatiana is probably not going to live another 15 years. Also the tree said that Jesse dies 59, yet he actually died at 17. But future wife Lucie wants to resurrect him... which is highly illegal and should she be successful she will probably face terrible repercussions. Jesse also might not be able to live as a shadowhunter after being brought back. So even if we don’t want it, for the sake of this theory lets assume that upon Jesse’s resurrection both he and Lucie are banished and become a mundane pianist and writer. Let’s assume they also get married and have children. In order for the TDA Blackthorns to be shadowhunters at least one of Jucie’s kids would have to become a shadowhunter and move to the shadow world. I feel like Luce and Jesse would be willing to let their kids go in that case. That was all Jesse wanted growing up and Lucie is Will’s daughter. The children would just need someone they could stay with.

  Now lets hop to the Lightwood family line. According to the tree Christopher and Grace get married (Grace is also listed as a Cartwright so was her adoption overturned and she rejoined her bio family?) and continue the Lightwood line down to TMI. Grace and Christopher are set up to bond  (over science) and many fans are willing to believe that they are an endgame ship. But fans are also doubting that they are the ancestors of the TMI lightwoods.  For one thing Christopher is heavily coded to be asexual; and Grace herself seems to have a very.... twisted and warped view of physical acts. So now lets say Grace is somehow saved from punishment over Jesse’s resurrection or because of her past trauma is given a lighter sentence. Lets say Gracetopher really do get married. if they got married they probably will apt out of having children; at least biological children.

   Christopher has a younger brother , Alexander Lightwood, who seems like a much more likely candidate to continue his family line. Alex has been noted to have those dark blue eyes that while once a Herondale trait later become a Lightwood trait. He shares a first name one of TMI’s most prominent characters, and that is just about the only way baby Alex could have relevance to the story given that he is way to young to help out in the war. If Alexander Lightwood the first is one who carried on the Lightwood line why are his descendants listed under his brother and sister in laws names?

   Well way back before the CC launched TLH I remember her posting a tweet that said Grace could become an ancestor of either the Herondale or the Blackthorn line. This upset a lot of people who thought that it meant that Grace may have a baby with either James or Jesse. (No, just NO!!!) But what if instead of Grace having a baby with Jesse, She and Christopher adopt one of Jesse and Lucie’s babies so that that baby could be raised as a shadowhunter? I could see Grace and Christopher doing do: they each love one of the respective parents and are set get to know the other. The only good thing about Tatiana adopting Grace was she got Jesse as a brother. Should she ever recover from having Tatiana as an adoptive mother I could see her becoming very critical of other adoptions and refusing to allow Jesse’s children to potentially end up like she did. I am in love with a head cannon I have that Christopher will become a science professor at the academy. If Lucie and Jesse have to leave the shadow world, and they have to give up their children then I want to imagine that child living in Malec’s future academy suit with Shadowhunter mommy and daddy Gracetopher while they secretly get gifts and send letters to their mundane mommy and daddy Juice. (It is the least CC can do for the pain reading about that potential exile would cause me.)

[luverofralts]

Post Arkhelios

All was calm at the Bellamy house. Hunter was trying to read a book, while Kamalani worked on a new piece, distracting him with the noise. Omar had gone home with Adam, now even more angry with his parents and ex-wife, but neither Salem or Malika had really noticed. Salem was trying to stay calm so that he wouldn’t have a heart attack like poor Giovanni. The legal papers from Roman had been recently delivered by Yvette Durant, who was stepping out of retirement just to help Roman. Her absolute glee at his situation was just appalling.

He had just finished writing cheques to Roman’s old school for tuition that was apparently non refundable, as well as another bill for Roman’s hospital stay and ambulance. For someone trying to divorce himself from the family, Roman sure was costing him a lot of money.

Without warning, Melvin Hydes burst through the door, with Tanya as back up. Hunter looked around for his parents or somewhat estranged wife. What was going on?

“Kamalani Bellamy, you are under arrest for the murder of Abraham Helios, and the attempted murder of Roman Bellamy.”

Melvin read her her rights as the rest of the Bellamy family swarmed the room to see what was happening.

“You’re making a mistake, officer. I have nothing to do with either crime. Why would I shoot my own son?”

“No idea, but people do terrible things with little incentive all the time,” Melvin answered. He gestured at Tanya to take Kamalani to the car.

“You can’t do this!” Salem was suddenly feeling faint. First Roman, and now this? “There’s no way Kamalani would do either of those things! She loves her son, and she barely even knew Abraham.”

Melvin also brought a warrant, stating that he was allowed to search the house for anything related to the murder and attempted murder. Salem and Malika waited outside while Hunter and Wanda began arguing in the hall.

“This is insane Wanda, why are you letting him do this?”

“He’s the police, Hunter, it’s what he gets paid to do. I have nothing to do with this. Everyone wanted these murders solved, and we’re finally making progress.”

“This is just a witch hunt against a powerful family,” Hunter insisted. “I bet Elaine is behind this, or Jolanda...or someone.”

“It’s a what hunt?” the witch snapped. “You’re going to blame your biological mother before your ex-sister in law? Open your eyes, Kamalani is guilty!”

“My mother is my mother, not Elaine,” Hunter spat back. “I haven’t said two words to Elaine this whole year. I have no idea of what she’s capable of, but I do know Kamalani. This is wrong.”

Wanda sighed deeply. Hunter was an incredibly loyal person to the people he loved, even if they didn’t deserve it.

“Why is Roman emancipating himself then, and not recovering here with his loving mother? Don’t you think that’s suspicious? I saw him in the hospital. He’s terrified of her!”

Hunter looked like he had a response, but then thought better of it. Instead he nodded.

“Yeah, I’m really worried about him. He’s in love with Abe though and Abe’s family could be lying to him about her.” He looked suddenly unsure of himself. “But it is really weird for him. He used to be so close with my mom and dad.”

Melvin collects evidence and then celebrates a matching fingerprint with an unprofessional cheer, like his favourite team just scored a goal.

News spread quickly throughout Arkhelios that possibly at least one of the most recent tragedies had a prime suspect in custody. It was something people had begun to think would never happen. Lucy called Ulyssa to tell her the news, since it’s not like Arkhelios was big enough to make the news in a huge country like Pleasantview.

Ulyssa was as ecstatic as everyone back home.

“Oh my god, Kamalani shot Abraham? Why?”

“Why would she shoot her own son?” Lucy replied. “Obviously she had a reason. That’s probably why she just left her family after Abraham died. Wanda says that the bullets from both crime scenes match the same gun, which is registered to Salem. It was a gift or something from Abraham when they founded the town together, and she stole it to kill him. Salem hadn't seen it in years and thought Giovanni had stolen it out of spite. Her fingerprints were all over it.”

“No way! We have to talk about this face to face, this is too crazy. Hold on.”

Ulyssa hung up and concentrated as a hard as she could into preforming the correct hand gestures needed to summon someone. With a loud pop, Lucy suddenly appeared in the main hall, looking shocked.

“Ulyssa! You’ve gotten better at magic! You just stole me out of my house and all the way here? That’s so cool!”

Lucy hugged her friend, lingering just a little bit too long and inhaling the smell of Ulyssa’s perfume. Even after going on a few dates with Margery, she apparently still had a giant, hopeless crush on Ulyssa. At least she hadn’t been in her pjs with messy hair when she’d been summoned,

“Yeah, it’s been hard work, but it definitely comes in handy,” Ulyssa laughed. “Although, I hope you’re not pregnant like your brother. Multiple skeletons are very hard to account for.”

Lucy blushed. There was no way she could be pregnant, but she liked the idea of Ulyssa thinking that Lucy could be sexually active. It would maybe keep her from seeing Lucy as just a little sister, and closer to a possible romantic partner.

That was until Maura showed up and gave Ulyssa a quick kiss before running down the hall on the way to a study group. Lucy watched Ulyssa’s face change when Maura had arrived and sighed. She thought Ulyssa was with some guy, but there had been no mistaking the way Ulyssa lit up when Maura came over. Lucy still had no chance with her, that girl was completely in love.

“Well, let me catch you up on the drama,” Lucy exclaimed, linking her arm with Ulyssa’s and putting on her best smile. “You can get me one of those fancy coffees, this will probably be a while.”

[somanysigns-13]

Part 3: Snuggle in and buckle up for a long read. 😬

Reputation 2017 - her final required album with BMR (2014-2017 3 years after 1989)

…Ready For It? (also see cowboy like me on evermore)

* Knew he was a killer first time that I saw him wonder how many girls he had loved and left haunted...Knew the beard (maybe Joe?) was gay; wondered how many girls he had to pretend with?

* But if he’s a ghost then I can be a phantom holdin him for ransom...She can use him to cover her relationship with Karlie (also see New Romantics)

* Some boys are tryin too hard he don’t try at all though younger than my exes but he act like such a man so I see nothing better keep him forever like a vendetta...Some of her beards actually tried to make the relationship legit but he doesn’t try at all, maybe because he is also gay, so she can see staying with him until it’s over

* In the middle of the night, in my dreams you should see the things we do. In the middle of the night in my dreams I know I’m gonna be with you, so I’ll take my time...She knows in the end she will be with Karlie so she’s just going to ride this out

* Knew I was a robber first time that he saw me stealing hearts and runnin off and never saying sorry but if I’m a thief then he can join the heist and we’ll move to an island.... Possible reference to Karlie’s bearding with Josh and him knowing they are together and being part of the whole plan?

* He can be my jailer Burton to this Taylor...Nod to Elizabeth Taylor and her relationship with Richard Burton * Karlie’s middle name is Elizabeth * Burton to this Taylor - Josh will marry Karlie to quiet the rumors of her and Karlie’s relationship therefore he is Taylor’s “jailer” keeping the “cage” in place. Back to that recurring theme..cages..(see so it goes, this is me trying, and cowboy like me)

* Baby let the games begin...Here we go...start of the end game by playing more games

End Game

* I wanna be your endgame I wanna be your first string I wanna be your A-Team... She wants to be able to be public with Karlie and not the “secret”

Could the End Game be them getting through the final years of the BMR contract and possible other contracts (Karlie with Scooter and Josh). Did Taylor possibly sign a 3 album obligation to UMG which is why she busted out 3 albums in 1 year (Lover/folklore/evermore) to make “End Game” “New Year’s Day” 2021? There seems to be a countdown between the years of album releases...1989-reputation (3) rep-lover (2) and lover-folklore/evermore (1)

* Big reputation, big reputation ooh you and me would be a big conversation... If they came out now everyone would really be talking about it even though there are currently rumors

What kind of big conversation would really come of her and Joe Alwyn? Why would being in a heterosexual relationship need to be kept such a secret? What’s so taboo about it? And why would it need to be a secret when the public narrative is that you are in a relationship with him already?

* I hit you like bang we tried to forget it but we just couldn’t...Karlie and Taylor’s chemistry is too much to disregard or act like it was just a temporary thing, they are each other’s lobsters and they couldn’t quit each other.

* And I bury hatchets, but I keep maps of where I put them... She’s going to go along with the plan but she won’t forget who made her have to do it

* And I can’t let you go your handprints on my soul It’s like your eyes are liquor like your body is gold...again Karlie’s astrological sign is Leo and the Leo color is Gold…she’s love drunk on her eyes and she’s left a mark on her forever (see This Love and Dress)

* You’ve been calling my bluff on all my usual tricks so here’s the truth from my red lips...Taylor tries to push Karlie away or talk herself out of her feelings but Karlie calls her on her bullshit

I Did Something Bad

* I never trust a playboy but they love me so I fly ‘em all around the world and I let them think they saved me...Playboy as in boy she uses as her beard (play things for her to use- Don’t Blame Me) they think they can be the one to change/save Taylor (make her straight?) or possibly that by them going along with the plan she owes them something more since they “save” her reputation/career, she pays for all their expenses as her beard

* They never see it comin’ what I do next ...New Romantics; poker ref...she fills them in on the situation?

* This is how the world works you gotta leave before you get left...Foreshadowing her leaving BMR so she doesn’t lose Karlie?

* If he drops my name then I owe him nothin’ and if he spends my change then he had it comin... Did a beard say something he wasn’t supposed to in an interview that went against the NDA contract... Was he taking advantage of Taylor and her money?

* They’re burning all the witches even if you aren’t one they got their pitchforks and proof their receipts and reasons... “Witches” historically were thought to be lesbians (see Salem witch trials - see Willow) Even if you aren’t one - Some of the rumors of her being with her friends other than Karlie (Martha Hunt)...The proof is obviously in the rumors of her and Karlie and possibly Kissgate..and lots of witch references in evermore

* So light me up go ahead and light me up...Acknowledging she’s gay?

Don’t Blame Me

* Don’t blame me, love made me crazy if it doesn’t you ain’t doin’ it right lord save me my drug is my baby I’ll be using for the rest of my life... Don’t blame her for all the crazy things she’s had to do to keep her relationship with Karlie Lord save me - “pray the gay away” type ref

* I’ve been breaking hearts a long time and toying with them older guys just playthings for me to use (see “I Did Something Bad”)...Boys = beards

* For you, I would cross the line I would waste my time I would lose my mind they say she’s gone to far this time... She would give it all up to be with Karlie (see lyrics of evermore)

* My name is whatever you decide and I’m just gonna call you mine I’m insane, but I’m your baby...Reference to Karlie writing her name in the sand wrong or maybe using “James” or another pseudonym like maybe Kayda?

* Echoes of your name inside my mind halo, hiding my obsession I once was poison ivy but now I’m your daisy...

Alleration of Karlie’s name? (Echoes of your name) Halo = Victoria’s Secret Angel.. Poison ivy (see Ivy) Daisy - all the pictures of them with daisies during the Big Sur trip and other

* And baby for you I would fall from grace just to touch your face if you walk away I’d beg you on my knees to stay... She would give it all up and come out if she could ....If Karlie wanted to leave (Victoria secret fashion show “walk away” ref) she would do whatever she had to do to make her stay

Delicate - there’s more lyrics here but you’ll get the point with just a few

* Is it cool that Taylor told Karlie how she felt? She knows their relationship/situation they’re in is delicate

* Echoes of your footsteps on the stairs stay here honey I don’t want to share...She hates that Karlie has to leave and pretend to be with Josh, she gets jealous

* I pretend you’re mine all the damn time...She hates the bearding

So It Goes - all Victoria Secret fashion show refs

* See you in the dark all eyes on you my magician all eyes on us you make everyone disappear ...From Taylor’s perspective - Victoria secret fashion show interactions - usually all eyes are on Taylor but not now, it’s all eyes on her and Karlie and Taylor see’s only her and her “shiny abs” when they’re out there together on the stage

* Cut me into pieces gold cage hostage to my feelings back against the wall trippin when you’re gone...it kills Taylor to have to hold her love for Karlie inside and not share it with the world as much as she hates when Karlie has to leave after their time spent together

* Cause we break down a little but when you get me alone it’s so simple cause baby I know what you know we can feel it... When they have to be apart it’s hard but when they’re together it’s all worth it...They both know what they have and what they have to do to keep it

* And all the pieces fall right into place getting caught up in the moment lipstick on your face so it goes...Everything so far is going to plan but sometimes they forget and have to deal with a revelation (lipstick on Karlie’s face as they walk out of the apartment and get papped)

* I’m yours to keep and I’m yours to lose you know I’m not a bad girl but I do bad things with you so it goes...Seems like Taylor is saying the ball’s in Karlie’s court so to speak? The bad things = lesbian things 😂

* Met you in a bar all eyes on me your illusionist all eyes on us I make all your grey days clear and wear you like a necklace I’m so chill but you make me jealous but I got your heart skipping when I’m gone... From Karlie’s perspective - usually everyone is looking at Taylor but not at the VS Fashion show. She’s the sunshine in Taylor’s life but she does get jealous sometimes...But she knows she has Taylor’s heart and that Taylor misses her when she’s gone

* Come here dressed in black now scratches down your back now so it goes...Victoria’s Secret fashion show when they’re in black dresses holding hands walking down the runway and likely what happened after the show 😉

* You did a number on me but honestly baby who’s counting I did a number on you but honestly baby who’s counting 1, 2, 3...They really can’t help themselves with each other and their feelings * 3 years has gone by (2014-2017) (see invisible string - bold was the waitress on our 3 year trip. * 3 album contract with UMG?

Gorgeous - the rest of the lyrics speak for themselves I think, so here’s a couple.

* You make me so happy it turns back to sad ...When they’re together vs when they’re apart (Karlie w/Josh)

* There’s nothing I hate more than what I can’t have Due to the management teams keeping them apart?

Getaway Car

King of My Heart - Karlie is a Leo (Lion - king of the jungle)

* Salute to me, I’m your American Queen - Karlie referred to Taylor as the Princess because she has blue eyes, red lips, is beautiful and wears a crown in the Best Best Friend Vogue video

* Cause all the boys and their expensive cars, with their range rovers and their Jaguars never took me quite where you do...She feels nothing with any of her expensive beards like she does with Karlie

* Late in the night, the city's asleep Your love is a secret I'm hoping, dreaming, dying to keep... They have to sneak around to avoid being seen together in intimate situations

* Change my priorities The taste of your lips is my idea of luxury... She’s making all the effort to make the relationship work. I’m sure some guys have tasty lips but typically the ladies win that one

* Is the end of all the endings? End Game

* My broken bones are mending She uses breaking bones metaphors often (sticks and stones may break my bones but names will never hurt me refs?)

* Up on the roof with a school girl crush

* She’s got a girl crush

* Drinking beer out of plastic cups

* Karlie and Taylor at the Knicks game

* Say you fancy me, not fancy stuff

* Taylor wants to know that Karlie wants her for her, not what she has

Dancing With Our Hands Tied - a lot to unpack here so I’ll try to do it briefly

* I, I loved you in secret First sight, yeah, we love without reason...Depending on when they first met, Taylor saw Karlie either irl or modeling or through mutual friends and had a crush instantly

* Deep blue, but you painted me golden

* Karlie is Leo...astrologically represented by 1 color...Gold

* I, I loved you in spite of Deep fears that the world would divide us...If they came out what would it do to their relationship and their careers?

* So, baby, can we dance Oh, through an avalanche?... Is it possible to do it? Maybe not now, but can they weather the storm until they can make it public?

* I'd kiss you as the lights went out Swaying as the room burned down Possible Kissgate ref?

* I'd hold you as the water rushes in...They’re both fire signs...a water sign beard (Joe is a Pisces) could be the extinguisher to squash the rumors of Kaylor

* If I could dance with you again...She’ll do what she needs to do to keep this relationship

Dress - another big one

* Our secret moments in your crowded room They've got no idea about me and you...Victoria Secret fashion show moments

* There is an indentation in the shape of you Made your mark on me, a golden tattoo Again with gold and the tattoo...permanent mark (see End Game)

* Say my name and everything just stops I don't want you like a best friend...Not really sure if it could be any more obvious..Karlie and Taylor were each other’s “Best Friend” and Taylor is letting it be known that she wants her more than that

* Only bought this dress so you could take it off Take it off (ha, ha, ha) Carve your name into my bedpost 'Cause I don't want you like a best friend...She wants to “do bad things” with Karlie (see “so it goes”)

Call It What You Want

* Possible start of the bearding ref?

* Sounds an awful like “So Karlie would you want to?”

* Windows boarded up after the storm ...They have to be apart, possible arguments over what the plan should be? Also see Death by a thousand cuts on Lover

New Year’s Day=End Game?

* Last song with BMR..Taylor’s contract is over

* Candle wax and Polaroids on the hardwood floor...Candles are a recurring prop in her music videos, assumed to represent the passing of time of their respective contract periods * Polaroids - Karlie was asked in an interview what she collects, she said Polaroids...They took lots of Polaroid pictures on their trip to Big Sur * Taylor used the image of a Polaroid as her album cover in 1989

*You and me forevermore...direct link to the evermore album and song...she said in the MAATHP documentary that her life is planned out at least 2 years in advance...looks like maybe some of the folklore/evermore songs were already in the works or at the very least she went back and drew inspiration from other albums.

* You squeezed my hand three times in the back of the taxi

* could 3 years be the length of Karlie’s contract with Josh? (See So It Goes)

* 3 album contract with UMG?

* I can tell it’s gonna be a long road They’re going to have to suffer through at least 3 years of not being seen together in order to avoid speculation

* I’ll be there if you’re the toast of the town, babe Or if you strike out and you’re crawling home Whatever Karlie’s reason is for going along with the Josh stunts, Taylor will be there to support her no matter what...Strike out is a baseball metaphor and Karlie is a big St Louis Cardinals fan (baseball ref also used in peace on folklore...”swing with you for the fences, sit with you in the trenches”)

Crawling home…opposite of what Karlie used to do as a Victoria Secret model and “walking” the runway

* Don’t read the last page But I stay When it’s hard or it’s wrong or we’re making mistakes... Try not to look too far ahead, things can go wrong and it can make the time longer or seem longer

* I want your midnights But I’ll be cleaning up bottles with you on New Year’s Day Taylor wants to be with her now, but she knows in the end she’ll be with her forever after the charade and games are over.

* Hold on to the memories they will hold on to you Just keep remembering the good times..they’ll get “us” through until the games are over

[brasskier]

@badthingshappenbingo trope #3 (and this one was actually requested!)

Thank you to the incredible @geraltrogerericduhautebellegarde for reading this one over for me!

Trope: Suicide attempt

Summary:  Yennefer's just running a few errands, and doesn't expect to end up talking Geralt's bard down from a rooftop. Jaskier is ready to leap, and doesn't expect a certain mage to interrupt his grand finale. Both of them might just walk away with a better understanding of one another. (Or, a character study in borderline personality disorder.)

TW for suicidal ideation/threats/gestures and reference to self-harm. The descriptions aren’t graphic and he doesn’t actually jump, but this whole fic deals with suicide and mental illness. Be safe y’all <3

Read it on my ao3 or below the cut:

The trip to Tretogor wasn’t supposed to last long. Replenish her stock after the utter disaster that was the dragon hunt, some odds and ends as she came upon them, maybe get absolutely shitfaced and forget the whole thing happened. That was all. And it looked like, for a pleasant change of pace, there weren’t going to be any complications. Errands finished, Yennefer was enjoying a hearty roast at one of the better taverns in the city when she noticed the early warnings of a brewing commotion. First murmurs, then the voices grew louder and more persistent, and then people were pushing outside. She ignored them; a petty barfight was not something she particularly wanted or needed to get involved with. The bar was still stirring, and eventually when she finally shifted her focus off her roast, the tavern was near-empty, only the drunkest of patrons remaining. Even the barkeep was shuffling outside. Clearly, something was happening. Something big. With a beleaguered sigh, she pushed up from her chair and headed out the door.

A surprisingly large crowd greeted her outside, more expansive than the usual clamor around a simple drunken brawl. She approached the barkeep, standing on the outskirts of the mob, and she didn’t even have to speak before the barkeep jerked his head skyward. She traced his gaze to the roof of a towering building casting its shadow over them.

“Poor sod’s gonna jump, I reckon,” the barkeep ruminated, eyes still fixed upwards. In place of the massive beast she fully expected to be perched atop the building stood the figure of a man, trembling at the very edge of the roof. She squinted, an uncanny familiarity settling into her gut.

She mumbled her half-hearted thanks, already pushing through a portal to the rooftop. The man, still frozen in place on the opposite edge, didn’t seem to notice the sudden company, and her uneasiness grew into a sinking dread.

“Jaskier?” she called, tentatively, afraid to startle him. Any last shred of hope that she was mistaken (though the intricately embroidered doublet was hard to mistake) was gone when he jerked his head back to face her. His mouth was agape, an uncomfortable mixture of surprise and disappointment drawn across his features. “What are you doing?”

“The fuck does it look like?” He snapped back. There was more than his usual sarcasm or mock-incredulity in his voice, real and deep-felt anger coloring his tone.

“Don’t do it,” she urged, surprising herself with the tenderness in her own words. “Come on now. Just come down.” Why did she care? The question gnawed in the back of her mind, and she did her damndest to push it aside. She’s a good person, after all, right? She’d do it for anyone, surely. None of Geralt’s not-getting-involved nonsense.

“Fuck off, Yennefer.” He let out a barking laugh, thin and breathy, pitching forward ever so slightly with the force of it. She felt her whole body tense, hands reaching out reflexively.

“Where’s Geralt? What happened?” This was, apparently, the single worst line of conversation she could’ve settled on, because he dropped abruptly to a squat and for a split second she was certain she was about to witness the man’s death. 

“I’m not his fucking keeper.” He was nearly at a roar now, a fever-pitch that sent a shiver down Yennefer’s spine. “Haven’t seen him in a week. Not since— not since—” Though she couldn’t see his face, his eyes fixed resolvedly on the ground below, she could hear the tears cut through his words, his breath hiccuping.

“Shh,” she hushed him. Clearly, something had happened after she stormed off. What, precisely, could wait until later, when he was back on solid ground. “I know. It’s not fair.”

“The fuck do you know about fair?” he scoffed, shoulders hunched, arms wrapped around his abdomen against the biting wind. 

“He fucked me over, too.” She should’ve been offended, and she would’ve been if she wasn’t far more concerned with making sure the bard didn’t fling himself into an early demise, which would be decidedly unfair. That sentiment did little to ease him, and withdrew no response. “Fuck Geralt,” she declared, trying again. “Damn brute thinks he can just take as he pleases.”

“And— and then discard you once he’s had his fill,” he mumbled, offering her the slightest glance back, tears glistening against the pink of his cheeks. 

“You’re better than that,” she set forth like a thesis. “You’re — loathe as I am to admit it — talented, bard. People like you. You’ll find plenty of material to write about.” Perhaps an appeal to both logos and pathos would be sufficient, at least enough to get him off the ledge. 

“It won’t be the same.” He frowned tragically over his shoulder at her. “I've lost it all, Yen. Look at me— I'm just a silhouette.”

“That's nonsense. He… you're more than him. He's not everything.” It felt ridiculous to her, throwing yourself off a roof over an argument with a friend. After all, Jaskier had always managed to exist in the spaces between Geralt before; teaching, or penning his next obnoxious ballad, or bedding married women, or whatever it is overgrown manchild bards do. But, then, she'd almost killed herself to restore something she knew she could never get back. So perhaps they were even.

“Look, this is awfully sweet of you, but—” he swept his arm, gesturing vaguely at nothing in particular. “Just let me go. I’m doing everyone a favor.” He turned his attention back to the ground, wind rippling through his hair. “Should’ve done this a long time ago.” She felt her heart skip — a long time ago? This wasn’t just a histrionic reaction to whatever might’ve occurred between him and Geralt; gods knew how long he’d felt like this.

“You know I can’t do that,” she retorted, drawing tentatively closer. “Don’t make me portal you down.” He huffed, waving her off with a trembling hand. 

“Please, Yen.” Realistically, she knew it would be easy to oblige his request. Walk away, pretend not to hear the sickening thud, and carry on. He was only her ex-witcher’s ex-bard, after all. “I always knew it'd end like this. I’m just… I’m glad I even made it past thirty, really.” 

“That’s— I’m not— no, Jaskier. I’m not letting you throw yourself off a roof, for the love of the gods. That’s insane.” She wasn’t sure what was more insane, letting him go, or standing here arguing with him. “You’re going to be real glad when you make it to forty, bard.”

“Am I though, really? This isn’t my first time, believe it or not. And every time I live, or I back out, or I let someone talk me out of it. And I always regret it in the end.” Her mind reeled again — every time? How many had there been? She pushed the thought back.

“You won’t find out unless you get down,” she argued, drawing closer still. He tensed, sensing her presence, hands balling and unfurling repetitively. “Come on. Go to the tavern with me, get something to eat, have a—” she was close enough to smell the alcohol on his breath now “—more drink. I’ll be out of your hair in the morning, and if you still regret it, well…” 

“Fine,” he finally agreed on the tail end of a sigh, turning to fully face her. “I’ll do it tomorrow.” She didn’t like the resolve with which he said those words, but he was agreeing to come down, which at least was a small victory. She’d handle tomorrow when it came around. In the meantime she needed to get them both down. “Or eventually,” he tacked on as she held her hands out, forming a portal back to solid ground. “Inevitably.” The word rang in her mind as she looped an arm around him and led him through the portal. As an afterthought, she summoned a blanket with a flick of her fingers; it was one of those cheap, thin blankets they kept at the inn, but it would do. She tossed it over his shoulders and he dug his fingers into the fabric, drawing it closer around himself.

Once they were back in the tavern, that thin blanket still draped over Jaskier's shoulders and mug of ale held in shaking hands, it was time to talk.

“I’m sorry,” he muttered, dragging his thumb up and down the cool tankard, avoiding meeting her eyes at all costs. “I’ve caused such a fuss. You must be anxious to get out of here.” He finally glanced in her direction when he felt a hand land on his forearm.

“It’s fine, really,” she insisted, and he couldn’t bear the pity in her eyes. “Now are you going to tell me what that was all about?” He huffed a laugh, looked away again.

“It’s just, you know. Me and my theatrics.” He shrugged, running a hand along his jaw.

“Bullshit.” When, exactly, Yennefer had gotten so good at seeing right through him, he wasn’t sure. But he did know he definitely didn’t like it.

“I’m sorry. I just, I… I get like that, I guess,” he muttered finally, dragging his thumb along the rim of his glass.

“Suicidal, you mean? You just get… suicidal?” She raised a skeptical eyebrow, moving her hand up to his shoulder.

“Yeah, I guess.” He reached blindly, dropped a hand over hers. “When something goes wrong. Someone leaves me again. I just, I fuck up a lot, and I’m no good at dealing with the concequences.” 

“That’s— gods, I know you’re an idiot, but that’s really worth killing yourself over?” She tried to keep her tone light, clipped, maybe a little detached. He was uneasy with the attention, it was obvious, and she was also certainly not ready to admit that maybe, just a tiny bit, she sort of cared about him.

“Geralt, he ran me off,” he mumbled, sinking further into the blanket. “After the hunt, after your fight, he blamed me. For everything, the entire two decades of our, well. I guess it wasn’t friendship.” He chewed at his lip, a nervous habit, anger bubbling below the surface at the thought of that day. “Told me the greatest gift life could give him would be to take me off his hands.” Yennefer balked at him, finally hearing the context of his despair, and she was just about ready to portal right over to wherever Geralt had fucked off to and give him a piece of her mind.

“That’s terrible,” she told him, the best she could really offer. Nothing she could say would undo what’d happened, and nothing could change how much it hurt him. “He really is a bastard.” Jaskier nodded slowly, raised his tankard up in toast. “When’s the last time you ate? You must be starving.”

“Stew would be nice,” he replied quietly, meekly. She haled one of the barkeeps, ordered him a stew, and requested another round of drinks. “It’s not just the fight, though,” he added once the server was gone. “I don’t know how to explain it, Yen. Why I do the things I do, or feel the way I feel. It’s just, it’s all too much sometimes, you know?” She knew. All too well, she knew. She was only just beginning to understand herself, just beginning to feel some semblance of control. He was so young — perhaps not by human standards, but comparatively. 

“I know. It’s hard.” They felt like empty platitudes, like she had no idea how to truly connect with him, and it was frustrating. She wanted to help him, but she wasn’t sure how, wasn’t sure he wanted it. 

“Yeah.” He bobbed his head, picked at the wood of the table. They drifted into silence, neither sure how to fill it, neither sure this was a conversation either wanted to have. The stew arrived, and he picked at it rather than devouring it like he usually did his rations. 

“You know I’m sterile, right?” she finally broke the silence once he’d finished his food and pushed the bowl aside, leaning closer, her voice pitched in a conspiratorial whisper. He nodded solemnly, averting his gaze, watching the light catch in his amber ale. “And you know I’ve gone to great lengths to rectify that, correct?” Another slow nod.

“I know, Yen. I’m sorry, I know you have far more right to be miserable than I do. And here I am, wallowing like a toddler—” She waved a hand to cut him off.

“No, listen, stupid bard. It’s really not about being able to have kids. It’s about the fact that I don’t have a choice, that I’ve never had a choice,” she elaborated, hiking the blanket further up his shoulders as it started to slip.

“I know. And here I am, I’ve gotten everything I wanted. I got to choose; running away, going to Oxenfurt, becoming a bard, traveling. Gods, I followed Geralt to the ends of the bloody Continent for two decades of my life I’ll never get back — but that was my choice.” 

“Would you please let me finish my point, instead of interrupting me to wallow in guilt?” He gnawed at his lip, finally turning to face her. “It wasn’t about being a mother, it was about choice. So this—” she waved her arm dramatically, wondering for a moment when exactly she’d started picking up his mannerisms. “This isn’t about Geralt at all, is it?” After a moment of contemplation, he carefully shook his head. “Then what is it about?” 

“I don’t know, to be honest,” he muttered at the tail end of a swig from his tankard. “I’ve just always been like this,” he said with a sweep of his hand, palm upturned, string-callused fingers twitching aimlessly. Her violet eyes bore into him expectantly, and he felt angry for a flicker of a moment — she was a witch, right? He should be able to just sit back while she delves into the darkest crevices of his psyche, let her root around and not have to struggle to put his life into context and language. “Can’t you just, y’know…” He tugged at his fingers, tilted his head.

“Read your mind?” she finished the question, scooting closer to him, and he felt the hair on his arms rise. “Are you sure that’s what you want?” He nodded, and she pressed her forehead against his, pulling him in close, enveloping him in the lilac and gooseberries he knew Geralt loved so much. He understood why; he felt inexplicably safe, even as the logical half of his brain urged him to pull back. This was all for show, and he knew that— she didn’t need to touch him to read him. Either way, he was grateful to not have to give language to the nameless, that she could just see.

See Jaskier at seventeen, screaming at Valdo from across the courtyard, "if you leave me I swear the fuck to melitile I'll kill myself," knowing he's made this exact threat verbatim so many times Valdo can't believe him, unable to recall what they were even arguing about anymore. When they break up, his mother tells him the first heartbreak always hurts the worst; it hurts all the same every time thereafter.

Jaskier at twenty, slicing thin lines into his thigh for what had to be the millionth time, running out of unmarred skin, witcher/tentative friend asleep somewhere beside him in the darkness. If asked, he’s not sure he’d have an excuse. Sometimes to feel something, sometimes to feel nothing. Either way, this uncertainty is what keeps his wrists clean.

Jaskier at twenty-three, wailing great, hiccuping sobs, shoulders rattling, blind beyond teary eyes. Geralt, gods bless him, doesn’t know what to do, stands arm’s-length away, regards him with uncertainty and pity. They’d fought about something that didn’t matter and he couldn’t remember, and that rage washed over him, red-hot, balled fists trembling at his side. “Get out! Gods, are you thick? Leave, Geralt; I fucking hate you.” But then Geralt listened, because Geralt didn’t play Jaskier’s games, and now there he was, sobbing, babbling, “don’t leave me, I’m sorry, I’ll be better, I can’t lose you, it’ll kill me, don’t go.” Geralt stays; they pretend nothing ever happened.

Jaskier at twenty-seven, at the ashes of his latest burnt bridge, just another failed relationship that feels altogether more like death than separation. Grieving it more like death, too; sobbing until he could do little more than stare at the ceiling and try to breathe, mourning a cemetery of mistakes and a lifetime of failure.

Jaskier at thirty-two, depression blanketing him with the fresh snow, the man he'd tangled up his entire identity in fucked off to the mountains for the winter while he sludged through classes, distracting himself from having to confront the fact that he doesn't recognize his own face in the mirror. Jaskier does exist in the spaces between Geralt, but, sometimes, that Jaskier is a husk.

Jaskier a few days ago, marching back to Oxenfurt because that's all he knows, doubtful Jaskier even exists anymore, the emptiness in his mind unbearable and somehow terminal, altogether certain he's been incompatible with life from the very moment he entered it and resolved to rectify nature's mistake himself. 

Jaskier who, his entire life, has felt everything, too much, all at once. Who's always been led by his heart — and not in the beautiful, Romantic way, but messy, tragic, and uniquely Jaskier. A man so utterly at the mercy of his own mind, drowning in feelings he doesn't have the language to name, his entire being defined not by who he is but what he does and who he loves. 

Jaskier, on a rooftop in Tretogor, itchy feet ready to fling him off the ledge. He'd told Valdo once, in the in-between hours not quite night or morning when everything seems strange and far away, that he knew how he was destined to die. Pressed on, even as Valdo chuckled and called him presumptive, “I'm going to kill myself.” Not today, or tomorrow, but inevitably. He said it not with the certainty of someone who's seen into the future but the cynical resignation of a man who knows no other escape. And Valdo punched his arm, told him not to talk like that, promised it would get easier one day. He hates Valdo now, not that he remembers why, and that day has yet to come.

She pulled back eventually— finally — and swept a shaky thumb over his cheek. He chewed on his lip, staring expectantly with hauntingly wide eyes. 

“Jaskier.” It was barely a whisper, uttered at the end of a sharp exhale, and when violet eyes met his they shone with an uncanny recognition. He wasn't sure what, precisely, she'd seen, but he knew whatever it was had been enough. He'd invited her to the bleakest corners of his mind, and now she regarded him like a lame horse. He ducked his head, but she caught him with a hand on his chin. “You know that's not how destiny works.”

“Hmm?” He wracked his brain to figure what she might be referring to, coming up empty-handed. He didn't have a big, grand destiny like she or Geralt did. He was just Jaskier the bard, Jaskier the one-night stand, Jaskier the disappointment. 

“It doesn't have to end like that. You have a choice,” she elaborated, still painfully vague, but he understood. 

“This isn't the first time, Yen, I—” 

“I know. I saw.” Right, she saw, probably everything, and he had the wherewithal to feel humiliated for it. 

“I've cheated it enough times. I can't outrun it forever.” It felt nice, at least, to let his walls down a little, stop playing the perpetual naive optimist. Almost a relief, even, a weight off his shoulders. 

“I know. But you're strong, Jask.” She moved her hand from his chin to the back of his head, guiding it to rest against her shoulder. “We have more in common than I thought, you know.” He laughed, thin and heady, but with a little more conviction this time, and pressed his face against her neck. 

“Is that your way of telling me you're fucked up, too?” He asked, and, despite the levity in his tone, he truly was curious. 

“Yes, bard,” she hummed, reaching out to sip at her tankard.

“You're not going to give me any more than that?” He fought off a yawn, pressing the back of his hand against his mouth. “I just told you everything.” 

“Maybe someday,” she replied, setting the mug back on the table. “But right now I think you could use some rest. We both could.” She slipped out of the booth and he let his head tilt back against the wall, mourning the absence of her warmth. 

She returned a few minutes later, room procured, and hiked the blanket back over his shoulders as he reached for his lute and followed after her. It was a nice enough room, two beds on opposite sides, a bath he had no intention of utilizing. Exhausted, he kicked off his boots, shrugged off his doublet, and dropped onto the bed. He let his mind wander, dozing as Yennefer readied herself for bed, eyelids heavy by the time she blew out the candles.

“You won't try again?” Yen asked from across the room after a while, barely a silhouette in the faint moonlight. Jaskier rolled over to face her, finding her staring distantly out the window.

“You, uh, you have to be more specific,” he muttered, tugging the blanket closer to his chin. It smelled of lilac and ale. 

“How am I supposed to make that more specific?” It came out sharp, like her usual tone with him, but he could still feel an uneasy twinge to her words. 

“I mean, I don't know.” He felt stupid for reasons beyond his grasp. “Not today, or tomorrow. But I can't promise never.” There was a long pause, and Jaskier barely breathed, wondering if he'd managed to upset her as sleep crept up on him. 

“Not today is enough,” she said finally, sounding almost far away, and his breath hitched in his throat.

“Yeah,” he mumbled, voice thick with impending sleep. “When are you leaving?” The me he omitted at the tail end rang in his mind, unspoken but understood, heavy in the nighttime silence. She was supposed to leave in the morning, so he could either move on or finish what he’d set out to do; he wasn’t sure he wanted her to uphold that promise anymore.

“Not today.” He exhaled slowly. Not today is enough. And maybe, just maybe, enough not today's would add up to never. 

[tirednerd2012]

Barley learns Ian is missing

WARNING: Drew kind of makes an appearance? This one is going to focus on Barley fighting his own mind.

Barley didn’t really know what was going on. He remembered hearing Ian telling him everything was okay, two other voices, then a bunch of others. Now, it was silence. And he was trapped in this hellish nightmare.

Drew was with him. They were in the same cabin Barley killed him in.

“Well, you just know how to fuck everything up, don’t you?” Drew said, as he sat across from him. For some reason, Barley didn’t necessarily feel afraid. Not of his insane ex-boyfriend at least.

“You’re dead. I killed you,” Barley responded.

“Yeah? And Kirk has your little brother,” he said. “Too bad you can’t wake up and do something about it.”

“What the hell are you talking about?” Barley demanded.

“You don’t remember anything? Typical,” Drew sneered. “You were shot protecting the little shit.”

“Watch what you say about him,” Barley snapped. “Okay, then why are you here?”

“Only you know the answer to that, Bar,” he answered, indifferently. Barley went to argue more when Ian’s voice ripped through the air, but his little brother was nowhere in sight.

“I’m sorry I’m such a mistake, Barley. I wish I was never born,” the voice said and a sting of hurt and regret hit Barley. Ian couldn’t possibly mean that, could he?

“You know, he is a good kid. Such a shame what’s going to happen,” Drew said. “He doesn’t stand a chance against Kirk.”

“Can you just leave? I have to wake up,” Barley snapped.

“Good luck with that. Your body really took a hit when you took that bullet for Ian,” Drew said as he brought out a cigarette and lit it. Barley hated when his ex smoked even when they were together.

“I never should have been with you. You’re the one that showed Ian to Kirk and caused this whole mess,” Barley said bitterly.

“Yeah, blaming me is just what you need, right?” Drew said in return. He took a long puff and sighed. “You’re the one that is still holding on to me. I mean, this is your mind and I’m here, why is that?”

“You put me through hell and you’re wondering why I’m still trying to forget about it. You tried to kill me, and before that you abused me for months. I couldn’t even bring you around my family because I was so scared about what you were going to do to them. And then you went after Ian. You tortured him and kidnapped him to get to me. And then I-I killed you.”

“That’s in the past, Barley. You still have something to worry about. If you can handle me, why can’t you face Kirk? He’s just playing you right now. Sad, really,” Drew said.

“You’re not real.”

“You’re right. I’m not, but he is. And you need to wake up.”

“I’m trying,” Barley snapped.

“You need to face your past if you’re going to be able to face your future. And you’re running out of time.”

“What are you talking about, running out of time?”

Ian’s voice came again.

“Fine, I’ll go with you. Just get that gun away from him.”

“What’s happening?” Barley demanded.

“Ian is going with Kirk as we speak.”

“Why can’t I wake up? I need to wake up and stop this!” Barley said, desperately. Ian was going with Kirk? Willingly? Did he forget their conversation? He didn’t need to worry about Barley’s safety. He needed to keep himself safe. That’s all that mattered.

“Even if you woke up right now, you can’t save Ian. You’re in no condition, Barley,” Drew responded with indifference in his voice. “Right now, you need to face everything you’ve been putting off.”

“No, I need to get to Ian.”

“You won’t be able to save him if you aren’t in the condition to save him.”

“And why the hell should I trust you?”

“Because what other choice do you have?” Drew asked. They disappeared from the cabin to a hospital room. Barley looked over and saw himself as a small child. He immediately knew where he was. This was the day his father died.

“I faced this. I said goodbye,” Barley said, his voice tensing and he balled his fist at the side.

“Just keep walking. We need to find the door that will wake you up,” Drew said. Barley glared, but nodded as the two walked past his father’s hospital bed. He would never forget his dad connected to the machines and tubes. He didn’t look like himself. Barley hated to admit it, but seeing it face to face again brought back the same fear he hadn’t felt since he was a small child.

He found a door and walked through it. The day Ian was born. His mom was dozing off in the hospital bed beside him, and Ian was in his arms. A nurse was watching over him, knowing that after giving birth by herself, Laurel was exhausted.

“It’s okay, Ian. My name is Barley. I’m your big brother. I’m going to take good care of you, I promise,” Barley told the infant. Ian looked up at him and laughed, then brought his hand out and touched Barley’s chin. And for the first time since his father died, Barley felt true happiness.

The wave of nostalgia hit Barley as he continued to make his way through his memories. Some were amazing. Teaching Ian how to ride a bike, helping him with his homework, cuddling with his mom when he was a kid. Others were awful. When him and Ian were being bullied. When his mom came home from work exhausted. When Laurel and Colt started dating and Barley felt betrayed.

Then, at the end of one memory, was a door that was glowing. But Barley stopped when he saw Drew again, but not the one directly beside him. This is when they were getting into a fight while they were still dating.

“You worthless trash. You really don’t trust me anymore? I’m your boyfriend!” Drew snapped at him.

“I don’t trust you around Ian or my mom, no, because lately, I don’t even know who you are,” Barley shot back. It ended in a physical fight and the scene changed from Drew’s house to Barley’s bedroom. There was a knock on the door. Ian.

“Hey, Barley, are you okay? You haven’t really said anything since you got home,” he said as he opened and shut the door behind him. He sat beside his older brother on the bed and noticed the bruise on his arm and the marks on his wrists.

“It’s nothing. Drew and I got into a disagreement.”

“Did he do this?” Ian asked, pointing to Barley’s injuries. A fire lit up in his little brother’s eyes and Barley knew, even then, Ian wanted to kill someone at the idea of Barley getting hurt.

“Don’t worry about it, little brother. I’m just really tired,” Barley said and, to distract Ian and also because he deeply needed it, pulled Ian into a tight hug. “I’m going to get some sleep. I love you, okay?”

“I love you, too, but Barley, come on, you have to know this isn’t okay. You don’t deserve to be treated like that.”

“It was a one time thing,” Barley responded.

“We don’t know that.”

“Ian, really, it’s okay,” Barley assured him.

“How would you feel if the roles were reversed? You wouldn’t even be talking right now, you would be hunting someone down. Barley, I know you know this isn’t right,” Ian said, desperately.

“I’ll handle it, Ian. I promise. It’s late. Just try to get some rest for me, okay?”

Ian didn’t argue anymore, mostly because he probably knew it was pointless. Instead, he hugged Barley. He wrapped both arms around his brother tightly and for a moment, refused to let go.

“I love you, Barley. I just want you to be safe,” he said.

“You can’t change this, Barley. What happened, happened. What I did, what you did, what Kirk did, it’s over. But Kirk is still moving. He’s still doing things and that is what you need to focus on,” Drew said and Barley knew that this wasn’t his ex. It was an illusion, a figment of his own imagination of the person he feared most. So why wasn’t he afraid?

Ian needed him. He was safe from Drew. There was nothing more that bastard could ever do to either of them. He was dead. Barley killed him and he did so without hesitation. But he wasn’t safe from Kirk. And right now, he had Ian. This monster, this lunatic, had his little brother and Barley wasn’t anywhere near to keep him safe.

He wouldn’t be a prisoner of his own mind for another second. He was in control. This was his head, he was in charge. And he would get to his little brother now. He didn’t care what it took, what he had to do. Everything in him filled with adrenaline and, in a rush, he walked over to the door and opened it.

There was a bright light and suddenly he was aware he was in a hospital bed. His muscles and head burned and throbbed as he looked around. Corey was there, whisper yelling at two cyclops, but Barley couldn’t focus on what she was saying. But none of it mattered as one name was all he could focus on.

Ian.

“Barley!” Corey said, but before she could do anything else, Barley darted up. Ian was gone. Kirk had Ian and who knew how long Barley was out. He needed to find his brother.

He tried to stand, but then realized he was connected to different machines and IVs. He ripped off the one in his nose, then the IV.

“Barley! Stop!” Corey tried to grab him, but he ripped the cords off his chest and stood. Several nurses came rushing in and tried to get him to sit down.

“I need to find Ian. Get out of my way!” he snapped, pushing through one of the male nurses. He felt someone grab him from behind then a needle in his arm and before he knew it, everything turned dark.

Ian tried to break the bonds that held both of his wrists together, but he couldn’t see anything. Kirk had blindfolded him and shoved him on the floorboard of his backseat. He also gagged and tied Ian up to where he could hardly move. His staff was in the trunk, but he knew he wouldn’t see that for awhile.

“Barley didn’t look so good, Ian. I’m not sure if he is going to even survive his injuries from before. No one is going to be able to save you now.”

Ian shuddered as he kept trying to escape, but deep down he knew it was basically pointless. He prayed that Barley would be okay. The last few weeks his brother had been losing it at the idea of Kirk getting Ian, but now it was happening. Now it was here and his brother wasn’t around. Was this it? Was this how everything was going to end?

[according-to-the-laura]

StackedNatural Day 48: 8x06, 15x04

StackedNatural Masterpost: [x]

November 7, 2021

8x06: Southern Comfort

Written by: Adam Glass

Directed by: Tim Andrew

Original air date: November 7, 2012

Plot Synopsis:

Sam and Dean team up with Garth, who has taken over Bobby's job, as they hunt down a Specter that's possessing innocent people who have a grudge against someone.

Features:

Garth is the new Bobby, murders over old wrongs, more Amelia flashbacks, Dean tries to kill Sam, Garth’s chill nature saves the day.

My Thoughts:

Garth my beloved! Garth is the most emotionally intelligent character in this entire show, not to mention the fact that he’s the best (only?) example of non-toxic masculinity. I’m a bit obsessed with how when he was introduced it was because they wanted to make fun of a guy who wasn’t a manly man and by the end of the series he and Cas are the only good dads and he’s got the life that Dean unironically wants for himself. Also, Garth is a better hunter because he hunts solo and he isn’t dead yet, and he has the lore knowledge to take over for Bobby.

Paralleling Amelia and Benny is so funny. How are we supposed to think of Benny if not as Dean’s dirty little secret Purgatory hookup? WHY ELSE WOULD THEY NAME THIS EPISODE SOUTHERN COMFORT?

I love when Sam has to interrogate milfs, and also love that the Amelia scene after they had sex comes right after so at first it looks like Sam hooked up with the milf. Also, he was kind of into her, or else visiting her wouldn’t have triggered an Amelia memory specifically of sex. Insane show for insane people.

The funniest thing to ever happen on this show is Dean smugly saying “we won” as he burns the bones of a confederate soldier.

Notable Lines:

“Bobby was gone. You two were MIA. It was a weird time. Somebody had to step in and take up the slack.”

“What's up with all the, uh, hillbilly hankies? These people know the Civil War's over, right?”

“Bobby belonged to all of us, Dean – not just you and Sam. Now, I'm just taking what he showed me and trying to do something with it. That's all!”

“It just seems like you and Dean are talking but nobody's listening to each other.”

“Benny has been more of a brother to me this past year than you've ever been! That's right. Cas let me down. You let me down. The only person that hasn't let me down is Benny.”

Laura’s (completely subjective) Episode Rating: 7.7

IMdB Rating: 8.0

15x04: Atomic Monsters

Written by: Davy Perez

Directed by: Jensen Ackles

Original air date: November 7, 2019

Plot Synopsis:

Sam and Dean investigate the mysterious death of a girl and the disappearance of another.

Features:

Sam’s nightmares, killed and kidnapped cheerleaders, parental protection, Chuck visits Becky, God’s shitty ending to his story.

My Thoughts:

It is so funny to watch an episode that is objectively very good but spending the entire time being SO mad about what it sets up and fails to follow through on. Like WHAT is going on here? Did Dabb and Singer even read this script before it went to production? What on earth did Davy say to get them to film those Chuck scenes?

Truly Davy Perez has our backs in this script so hard. He says actually the fans are not cringey, they’re creative and intelligent. Actually the leviathans were a stupid looking monster. Actually, the ending of this 15 year show should have been so much better. God, and by extension the writers, is a pathetic ex-boyfriend with nothing to offer.

The problem with season 15 is that it is so good right up until those last two episodes, and then it veers so hard off the road after Despair that it might as well be a different show entirely. I am SUCH a strong Chuck-won-truther and this episode is one of the strongest pieces of evidence for it.

I think Jackles did a great job directing this episode too, aside from the weird jumpy zoom in and outs that I have to imagine were partially the fault of the editors. The whole opening scene is really great, especially the bold lighting and extended fight sequences. I have to respect the man saying “I’m directing this scene and I am going to make myself look so hot that it will be unbearable”. And then the Jack parallels with Billy - he literally dies on his knees in the same position Jack was in during the season 14 finale.

Notable Lines:

“It’s feeling a little… thin? Low stakes? It’s fun to hear the boys’ voices, but a story is only as good as its villain, and these villains are just not feeling very… dangerous? Not to mention, there’s no classic rock. No one even mentions Cas. The climax is a little stale. Boys tied up again while we get the villain’s monologue, which, frankly, isn’t one of your best.”

“You don’t have children, do you? Because if you did, you would know, that to see your child in pain rips your heart out. And you’d know that you’d do anything. You’d die for them.” “Or kill for them.”

“It’s awful! Horrible. It’s hopeless. You can’t do this to the fans. What you did to Dean? What you did to Sam?”

Laura’s (completely subjective) Episode Rating: 9.3

IMdB Rating: 8.5

In Conclusion: Stacked says that Benny was an important part of Dean’s life and we need to acknowledge that.

<< Previous Day | Next Day >>

[anime-alyssa]

his bounty. (mando x reader)

this was actually my original idea before i scrapped it, but alas, here we are. 

You were just supposed to be his bounty. Nothing more. Nothing less. 

also on ao3.

Run.

That’s all you did these days. And it was partially your own fault.

You did try to murder most of the Hutt council and you were almost successful. If one of your partners hadn’t gotten in the way and ruined your plan, getting themselves killed in the process and you almost killed, you would have gotten it. You’d be rich and you could retire to whatever planet you wanted.

But no. Instead, here you were flying across the galaxy fifty times a week at most to escape whatever bounty was placed on your head by the Hutt council. You were tired, exhausted. Wanted nothing more than to go back home and collapse on your own bed. But you wouldn’t be welcome there. They had already torn apart your old home and placed every bounty hunter he could hire on you - you had killed most of them thankfully.

You knew it was too good to be true that you were going to be left alone. The Hutts were angry and when they wanted something, they got it. Even now, as you were dressed to blend in at a casino on Canto Bight, you could sense you were being followed. Since you were proving so difficult to find and capture, you knew now at this point there was only one person who would be insane enough to try and get you. You saw the shimmering of the beskar from across the room out of the corner of your eye.

He was almost catching as much attention as you were, though for different reasons. People were terrified of him and people were aroused by you - in your gold, sleeveless shimering dress that ended just above the knee with a neckline that plunged all the way down your breasts, barely covering them up. Your knee high boots matched, a small space in between for your compact blaster to fit, just incase. You had to admit that being hunted by the Mandalorian was thrilling to you, when most people would call it terrifying. You’ve had previous encounters before and they’ve all ended…. interestingly. You two had a past and while you acted like it was all alright, it slightly stung every time you thought about it.

But right now as he sauntered up to your table in the corner of the casino, you knew he meant business. You didn’t have to be looking at him as he approached you, slamming the tracking fob down onto your table and sliding into the seat in front of you. For a while he said nothing, but you liked to imagine he was looking at you, your body and what you were wearing. You wanted to blend in and you definitely did that.

“Let’s just do this easily. The Hutts want you dead, but I’ll put you in carbonite instead.” he said to you. You narrowed your eyes at him and laughed, much to his discomfort.

“Or, how bout this, we go back to the council, kill them all, and split the profit? No more bounty on me and the Hutts are finally gone.” you suggested to him with a raised brow, taking a sip of your drink in the process.

“Useless to me. Everyone knows the Hutts are useless without Jabba anyway. It was a pointless job to begin with, and now you’ve got a hefty bounty on you. Just come back to the ship with me, and I’ll let you live. They can do the rest.” he said to you. This caught your attention and you put your drink back on the table, hand reaching into your boot for your blaster.

“You just said you’d freeze me in carbonite. And if the Hutts are useless, why’d you take the job?” You challenged him.

“You’d be alive. Take your hand off your blaster that you have hidden. We don’t need to make this difficult.” he said back, ignoring the second half of your question. You grunted as you raised your hands up in half surrender. He paused, tilting his head towards you.

Just when he was about to reach for your hand, you bolted. You made it a few steps out the door before he caught up to you, grabbing at your arm and twisting you to him. You were no match for him, but you for damn sure were not going to go down without a fight. You kicked him on the inside of his thigh, causing him to let go of you before you started running again. This time, you were able to get further away. A crowd of people had gotten off a transport shuttle at the door and you used that delay to run yourself down an alley way, dodging people left and right as you ran. Finally, when you had ran enough and your legs got too tired, you slowed and started just fast walking again, turning a corner to head back to your ship.

And right into cold metal. This time, he didn’t give you the chance to fight and he just spun you around and immediately cuffed you, making the cuffs extra tight around your wrists.

“If you want to run, don’t wear something that shimmers on the walls.” he said to you, dragging you back to his ship, hand on the cuffs around your wrists.

“Practice what you preach, Mando.” you mumbled. You heard him huff through the modulator and then it all went silent. You approached his ship silently, and he dragged you on board and immediately shut the hatch. He said nothing as he climbed up to the cockpit. You leaned back against the hatch wall as you felt the ship smoothly take off and then, you assumed go into hyperspace. You closed your eyes as you leaned your head back against the ship, just waiting for him to come back down and throw you into the carbonite.

But that’s not what you heard. Instead, you heard a small curious little coo coming from the floor. Your eyes snapped open and you looked to find a green little creature in a rough looking sack kind of thing. You went down on your knees to look at it as it turned its head to look at you curiously, just like you were looking at it. You heard a rumbling that someone ex-Imperial was paying a hefty fine to get a “Yoda-like-creature”, but that something happened and the bounty hunter who took the job broke out the bounty.

“That was you that stole back the bounty?!” you asked the Mandalorian as you saw him out of the corner of your eye. He did nothing but sigh, staying stationary by the ladder. “I don’t blame you. It’s a cute little thing. I can’t imagine what they would have done with it.” you said quietly. Eventually, the Mandalorian went over and picked up the child, putting it in his bunk and shutting the door. You took a long breath in, preparing for the Mandalorian to grab you by the arm and shove you into the carbonite freezer that was stationed just mere meet away from where you were kneeling on the ground.

"Listen... I don't want to do this. Not to you." he said softly through his helmet, no hint of emotion coming through.

"What's it matter to you? You've only ever used me to fuck and run anyway. Just means you're going to have to find another person to screw." you said to him bitterly as you tried to stand up on your own to hold your ground. He saw you struggling and helped you to your feet. You jumped away from him though, back to almost leaning against the hatch.

"You know that's not what its like." he said to you, moving closer as you backed away. Your back hit the hatch finally as he was nearly chest to chest with you.

"If I recall, you're the one who got me expelled from the guild because you were getting to close to me than you wanted. Now instead of doing bounty work, I do mercenary work all because you were getting to close to me. Don't you dare say that's not what its like because for me, that's exactly what its like. You fucked me every night of the week and ran to do your jobs, then fucked up my life." you spat at him angrily, letting your anger boil over and consume your body. Everything had been just fine until he decided he was getting to close to you, developing feelings towards you that he didn't want to have in his line of work, in what was your line of work. After he had you expelled, Karga couldn't afford to lose him and he knew it, you had to resort to mercenary work. It was shady business and there was always a chance you could get caught, and the second you got your new employer you vowed that you were never going to risk getting a bounty on your head so you could avoid him at all costs.

Well, that clearly worked out well for you and now you were chest to chest with your ex-lover who ruined your career as a bounty hunter. And he was here to bring you in to die. You let in a shaky nervous breath, one that did not go unnoticed by him. He turned you around, chest pressed now against the hatch of the ship snuggly, his body directly behind you, pressed against you. You closed your eyes and steadied your breathing, the hiss of his helmet coming off of his head and the sound of it clunking next to you on the ground not processing in your head until after he had pressed his lips to your shoulder blade. You shuddered at the motion of affection, but melted against the hatch wall as he kept going, moving his lips up your neck slowly.

"This isn't f-f-fair..." you breathed to him quietly. He chuckled against your skin, taking his lips off of your neck for a moment.

"I make the rules right now, sweetheart." his unfiltered voice came through your ears. Your pussy clenched, forgetting how sexy his voice was unfiltered. You breathed out a quiet moan as you heard him taking off one of his gloves. One hand gripped your hip as the ungloved hand slid up your thigh and brought your dress up with it, the hand on your thigh grabbing hold of the fabric. His ungloved hand trailed up the inside of your thigh, pausing just before your heat.

"You're going to fuck me and kill me, you bast-" you were cut off by a moan as he sank two of his fingers up your cunt, slowly stretching you as he went in almost to his knuckle. You couldn't grab onto anything as your hands were still cuffed, so you had to settle for digging your nails into your own skin.

"You always did talk too much." he said to you as he pumped his fingers in and out of you. You whined underneath him as he lips met your neck once more and began to bite down and suck at the spot that makes you cry out. Moans spilled from your mouth as he began to pleasure you in a way that you had not been in years. In fact, it was him last who did anything of the sorts for you. Against the back of your leg you could feel his erection through his trousers, him grinding against you just making him harder and harder. He desperately wanted to get inside of you, but not yet. The noises you were making right now were his favorite ones - the little moans of pleasure and overstimulation that you were still trying to muffle to not satisfy him completely.

The heat was building, and you couldn't stand it. You were sweating everywhere, despite being shoved against the cool metal of the ship. He was pounding his fingers into you like there was no tomorrow and you felt yourself getting close to the edge, your moans becoming louder and louder with each thrust. Your knees started to shake and you felt your body starting to tighten, closing your eyes against the hatch and moaning loudly one last moan before -

He slid his fingers out of you, making you whine and boil with anger and desperation.

"What the fuck?!" You said to him, wanting to turn around to give him a piece of your mind but you were still shoved against the door. You heard him chuckle behind you as his hardened, still clothed cock rubbed against your leg, knees threatening to buckle again. You let out another moan as he let out a grunt, taking his hands off of you for a brief moment. You heard the sound of a zipper and the movement of fabric. He groaned behind you, rubbing your juices all over his cock before he leaned back into you, lining himself up with your entrance as he dragged your hips out to meet him.

"Is this what you want?" he asked you sensually in your ear, teasing his cock along your folds. Your body stiffened at the sound of him but you let out a moan, feeling your cunt getting wetter and wetter the more he teased you with his tip, spreading your legs in the process.

"Please... oh please Dyn..." you moaned his real name. You heard him let out a grunt as he slowly buried his tip in you, then sinking into you inch by inch until eventually, he filled you. He was already panting behind you as you let out a moan, feeling his length stretch your walls and tighten around him ever so slightly.

"Fuck... so perfect. Perfect pussy..." he breathed behind you as he began to thrust into you, panting. You tried to not melt into him as he moved, that familiar feeling of pleasure taking over your body. He was impatient, you could tell. He always was. He moved quickly, just swiftly, setting an even pace despite the fact that he was ramming into you like he would die if he didn't. He was groaning deliciously, something you loved to hear that only brought you closer to a high. Your moans were mixing together now, echoing off the walls of the ship as he snapped his hips to meet your ass. "G-g-g-od damn it-t-t...." he moaned in your ear, bringing his lips down once more to bite at your neck.

You wanted to lean down and touch yourself in the worst way, to help the both of you go over. But you were cuffed, so you had to settle for just him pounding into you. It all just felt right, the way he fit, the way you moaned together, his lips on your neck, it was all right. You remember nothing more than wanting to do this all day, every day with him a few years ago, thinking of all the ways he took you then and what you would do to each other in the darkness. This was not like that... he was frantic, a feral animal who was starved for to long. You both were starved from each other for to long, you needed each other.

"D-d-dyn... oh my god!" You shouted, your orgasm coming in and taking you completely off guard. Your knees buckled below you and he had to support you as your back arched against him and you screamed his name, cunt clenching around his cock. You heard him moan out a string of curse words as he let himself out inside you, cock twitching around your tightened walls as he reached his high. He kept your hips and ass against his body as he rode out his high, you panting in front of him against the metal of the ship, bones shaky and limp.

When he was done, he slid out of you, dragging your dress back down to your knees and shoving himself into his pants. You heard the dragging of metal and you presumed he was reaching for his helmet. His hands - still ungloved, went to your hands and held them for a moment.

And then your hands were free.

Immediately you whipped around to face him, trying to analyze him even though you knew it would be pointless now that his mask was on.

"Your employer went in and got rid of the Hutts themselves the day after you failed to. The bounty was from weeks ago. The fob is outdated and deactivated as soon as I got into the cockpit."

"Wait... so you did all this, for absolutely nothing?" you asked him curiously. He sighed.

"Not entirely nothing. I did take the job and the bounty was still on you. Your employer is looking for you now, for failing the job."

"Of course he is." you mumbled under your breath. There was a long pause, everything silent except for the sounds of hyperspace outside of the ship.

"Stay with me. We'll figure it out. Together." he said to you, taking your hands in his again. You thought for a moment. If your employer was looking for you, there was no other person you would rather be with to help get rid of him. Staying with Dyn was the best thing you could do for yourself. And you had to admit - you still had feelings for him. And he must feel the same if he was asking this of you. "Plus, I think the kid likes you. He doesn't like anyone." you let out a laugh at his last remark, nodding back to him.

"I'll stay. For the kid. And maybe for you." you said to him. You could have sworn you heard him chuckle back as he slowly brought your heard to rest on his armored chest, wrapping his arms around you.

It was time for a new start in your life, this time with the person who meant the most to you by your side.

[bestillmyslashyheart]

unexpected tidings

No.

Fuck no.

Just...no.

No way.

No fucking way.

Liz was still talking, Alex realized distantly. The blood pounding in his ears was drowning out everything she said but he could clearly see her lips still moving. 

“-ex? Alex?” He registered the voice seconds before the hand clapped down on his shoulder. Alex flinched before he could help it and the hand lifted immediately. “Alex? Are you okay?” Alex turned slightly to see Kyle staring at him with worried eyes.

He nodded absently. “Yeah. Yeah, I’m fine. Just...processing.” He paused. “Was sort of starting to think my dad was just insane for hunting aliens in Roswell.” Alex desperately wanted to say he thought his dad was insane for believing in aliens in the first place but that would be a lie. Aliens were real, Alex had no doubts about that, but he didn’t think any of them would be stupid enough to stay in Roswell. 

“Yeah, I know, it’s a lot.” Liz’s voice was soft with understanding as she offered him some water. Alex took it with a small smile, grateful to have something in his hands.

“So let me get this straight,” Maria asked suddenly, her voice ringing loudly in the otherwise silent room. She was perched on the edge of the couch, her hands clasped in front of her mouth as she stared at Max and Isobel Evans. “You two are aliens.” They didn’t answer because, at this point, she wasn’t asking. “You woke up in the desert 20 years ago with no memory of your life before waking up. You have magical-”

“I don’t like the term magical,” Isobel cut her off. “I think it’s safe to say it’s not magic if it’s intrinsic to who we are.”

Maria’s face twitched like she wanted to argue but she just sighed and continued. “So you have alien powers,” Isobel nodded (in approval or assent, Alex wasn’t sure), “and now the US military, headed by Alex’s father, is hunting you down.” Max and Isobel both nodded. “Oh and there’s a third alien out there but you have no idea where he is.” 

“Correct,” Max agreed softly. “There were three of us when we woke up but after our parents adopted Isobel and I, we lost track of him. We don’t even know his name.”

“Could you track him down?” Liz asked as she sat down. “He could be in danger. We should find him if we can.”

Alex bit his tongue so hard he tasted blood.

Isobel shook her head. “I asked Noah to look into it for me. He got access to the orphanage’s records but since we don’t remember his name and we don’t know what he looks like, it was a dead end.”

“Well, if you have a list of names, maybe Alex could track them all down?” Kyle suggested, drawing everyone’s attention to Alex. 

He coughed lightly to suppress a groan and just barely restrained himself from glaring at Kyle. “Theoretically, I could do that.”  He didn’t want to lie to them but he also didn’t want to make any false promises. Already he could see the hope in Max and Isobel’s eyes. 

“So, excepting the search for the third alien, what’s the plan here?” Maria asked, mercifully drawing the attention away from Alex. “I mean, I appreciate being in the loop and all, but why are you telling me? I get Alex. But why me?”

“Because we’re going to need help,” Max admitted. “We need people who can keep an eye out for Jesse Manes and anyone else who might be a little too interested in aliens in Roswell. Liz said we can trust you so we’re asking you to help us stay safe and out of the government’s reach.” 

“So basically you’re asking me to be the lookout?” Maria clarified.

“Who knows more about what’s going on in this town than the resident bartender? And psychic?” Liz winked at Maria and Maria smiled lightly. It was true, they’d always joked that Maria knew about the people in this town than anyone else. Her friendly nature and copious amounts of alcohol usually led to people spilling their guts to her late at night. She was always careful not to spread around the things she heard, treating those moments a bit like a confessional, but if anyone new came into town, Maria would probably hear about it before anyone else.

“Ok,” she agreed. “I’ll keep my eyes and ears open and let you know if I hear anything.”

“Thank you,” Max told her sincerely.

“And you,” Isobel looked at Alex. “We need an inside man with the Air Force. Your dad’s in charge, so you can mosey on up to him and get the dirt. Find out what he has on us and let us know.”

“Yeah, that’s not going to happen.” Liz looked faintly betrayed while Max and Isobel’s faces shuttered. Alex held up a hand to stall the explosion. “My father and I don’t exactly get along. I’ve spent ten years doing my damnedest to get stationed as far away from my father as I possibly could. No way does he voluntarily share information and no way would he believe any excuse I could come up with to try and get involved. The second I ask any questions, he’s going to know something’s up.”

Max deflated while Isobel just looked angrier. “Well, what good are you then?”

“Hey,” Liz stood up to defend him. “Back off, Isobel. I get that that’s not something you wanted to hear but I asked Alex here to help you. Don’t get pissy just because he can’t do exactly what you want him to.”

Alex smiled at her in thanks before focusing on Isobel. “I can’t join my dad’s operation but that doesn’t mean I can’t get information. I’m a codebreaker, okay? I’ve hacked foreign government’s for fun. I can get in and spy on him without him even knowing it, but it’s going to take some time. You can’t expect results immediately. If I go too fast, it’ll tip him off that there’s a security breach and it’ll all be over.”

Isobel opened her mouth to say something but Max put a hand on her arm and she stilled. “Thank you, Alex. Really, whatever you can get us will be much appreciated. We just- we just want to live our lives, okay? And we can’t do that if we’re looking over our shoulders every second of the day.”

“You just want to be safe,” Alex agreed softly. “I get it. I’ll do whatever I can.” And he would. His motivations might be a bit more selfish than they thought, but it wouldn’t change the result; Alex would do whatever it took to bring down his father and stop him from completing his self-appointed mission to eradicate the alien race.

Their little meeting broke up soon after that and Alex didn’t bother hanging around. He made his goodbyes quickly and slipped out the door before anyone could pull him into a conversation.

His phone was in his hand as soon as the door closed behind him. He held it tightly as he got in the car, as he turned the ignition, and as he pulled away from Max’s house. He held it all through the drive back to Jim Valenti’s old cabin.

Only when he was safe inside his own four walls did Alex press Call.

“It’s two in the morning,” a gruff voice answered after a few rings. Alex pulled the phone away from his ear to check the time. Sure enough it was midnight.

“Sorry,” Alex apologized softly. “I can call back in the morning but I have some news and I figured you’d rather hear it now than later.”

There was shuffling on the other end before, “what is it?” The voice was clearer, the sleep cleared from it, but also sadder. Alex closed his eyes briefly, knowing what the other man was expecting him to say. After the way he left, Alex wasn’t surprised that the other man had been anticipating a middle of the night break-up phone call but this wasn’t it.

“I had a lovely conversation tonight with Liz, you remember I told you about Liz?” He got a grunt of acknowledgement and Alex pressed on, “well her boyfriend and his twin sister had a bunch of us over to talk about something near and dear to their hearts.” He paused.

“Alex,” the sadness was gone, replaced by annoyance and confusion.

Alex hummed and leaned back on the couch, his head tilting back to stare at a knot in the ceiling. “Turns out the boyfriend and his sister are being hunted by the military in an operation spear headed by my father. Want to know why? Apparently, they’re both aliens. Woke up in these pod things twenty years ago with no memory of their lives before then.” He paused and waited for a response but the line stayed quiet. “They said there was another boy with them. He didn’t get adopted with them and they lost track of him when they were seven. They’ve tried to find him but since they don’t know his name, they haven’t had any luck.”

“Alex-” came a strangled reply. “Are you saying-”

“How come you never mentioned you’re from Roswell, Michael?”

[cavesalamander]

My brief thoughts on this season of anime!

Just a quick review of the ones I’d recommend and/or keep watching. I managed to find all of the below on Funimation or Crunchyroll or Youtube!

Horymia: (Yes) This is looking to be a very funny romcom slice of life style anime, and seems to be a fairly good one! Had me laughing a lot. The Main couple are a nerdy quiet boy who’s actually dumb as a sack of bricks using his disheveled appearance to hide his tattoos and piercings, and a popular pretty girl who’s actually a total homebody. Their friends seem to have a lot of potential to be fleshed out as the series progresses and I look forward to seeing how it goes!

So I’m a Spider, So What?: (Yes) Whooo another isekai (excited)! This time a girl and her entire class!? Get isekai’d in a massive explosion. The main character reincarnates as a trash monster in a dungeon and must fight her way up the food chain just to survive. Meanwhile her friends who have mostly reincarnated as Cool Humans or the occasional elf or baby dragon, have mostly found each other, and want to figure out what happened/why and if they’re all okay. It’s genuinely pretty funny, though leans a little too hard sometimes on the gamey aspects of this new world. I think it may get darker as it goes along too.

Mushoku Tensei: (No) Whooo another isekai (derogatory). 34 yo old man gets reincarnated and uses his worldly experience to Learn Magic Fast and creep on his mom and prepubescent tutor. If you can stomach that stuff, it actually has a fair amount of potential? It did set itself up to touch on some interesting stuff down the road, but I’m kind of Over the horny toddler/young boy trope and it kinda just seems like the protagonist is Just Awesome At Everything but not in a remotely charming way.

Cells at Work Code Black: (Yes) If you liked Cells at Work, this is that but dingier, and is able to tackle some darker themes - like what stress, smoking, drinking, and probably eventually STDs can do to your body.

Kemono Jihen: (Yes) I don’t wanna explain TOO much about the plot of this one because it looks to be a mystery series, and the first episode sets it up the characters very very well. A man from the city is called to a rural town where animals are being mysteriously killed and found rotting. He’s tasked with finding and killing the perpetrator, assumed to be a monster of some kind. It does the horror very well, and even in the first episode manages some twistyness.

The Hidden Dungeon Only I Can Enter: (No) Even for a blatant fan service anime this one is just......... stupid. It might have a scrap of joy to it if the protagonist were anything other than a boring sycophant. His harem just all seems to be random girls who’s singular personality traits are to be in love with him in various stereotypical ways, that he just uses to min max his Cool Stats. But like, it’s not even self aware enough to make that into an interesting premise.

Sk8: (Yes) It’s a racing anime that seems super stylish and fun and very well animated. The protagonists have some cool chemistry already, and it really leans into the Underground Illegal Racing part of the fun - all the various characters who battle in death defying races through this abandoned mine, all have seemingly ordinary day jobs. Definitely worth a shot if that sounds up your alley.

Suppose a Kid from the Last Dungeon Boonies moved to a starter town?: (Probably) Okay so the premise is just there in the title and is actually pretty fun. Think: a random NPC who is considered pretty weak where the monsters are lv 50 moving somewhere where the monsters are scary at lv 5, shenanigans ensue. The MC boy is hilariously oblivious to the fact that anyone with a shred of sense can see he’s insanely over leveled to the area, and just trying to be nice and polite to everyone ^u^. The tentative nature of my recommendation is that it is kind of leaning harder on the Girls are Obsessed With Him train than is ideal. How much it depends on that as opposed to utilizing the premise to its fullest extent will have an enormous bearing on how fun the show is to watch going forward.

Ex-Arm: (Absolutely not but yes) It’s a fucking train wreck.

Heavens Design Team: (Yes) God decided to outsource creating animals to a team of angels, and works as a client giving weird ass requests for the angels to fill. Hilarity ensues, and it is peak edutainment to boot. It’s so much fun learning weird shit about animals, or trying to guess the animal these seemingly random train of failed attempts leads to.

Dr. Ramune -Mysterious Disease Specialist-: (No) It has a promising premise and some good moments. The main characters are solving these weird “diseases” that people get by finding the actual emotional cause and using magic of some kind to monkey paw it into a resolution. This could be really fun and interesting, but something about the execution just... falls flat? Like maybe it picks up as the season goes on but for now it’s not rly worth it.

Vlad Love: (Yes) I was going through the list of anime this season and was like wtf is this and literally just now watched episode 1. It’s about a girl with a blood donation kink and her vampire girlfriend. Literally. It’s rly funny and over the top ridiculous but like, gay vampires.

Back Arrow: (No) It’s like... fine. It’s about these two warring kingdoms surrounded by a wall with a mountain range between. They worship the wall as god, and occasionally get gifts from beyond it, in the form of mech suits they use to fight each other in. One day a boy shows up from beyond the wall in one of those suits and no memories of anything and he wants to get back. Which... could be promising I guess? But something about the show just didn’t grab my attention.

Skate-Leading Stars: (No) It’s like Yuri on ice if it was less gay and less well written I guess...? The first episode set up the Drama competently enough, but I just... couldn’t give a shit.

Project Scard: (No) For some reason part of Tokyo has been turned into a post apocalyptic hellscape where people just murder each other. They also have super powered tattoos and use them to fight each other. Animation is very similar to Handshakers - which is an Aesthetic that may not appeal to some. The first episode didn’t rly do much for me but I could see it going somewhere if it tries.

Wave!!: (No) Might have been a tentative yes if I hadn’t gone on and watched the second episode. First ep went hard with the queerbaiting cause they want to be the new Free! but with surfing, but Ep 2 just forgot all about that entirely. Dialogue is mostly boring and there’s like 3 sets, which becomes painfully obvious very quickly by ep 2.

Idoly Pride: (No) Literally looks like they ripped off the waifus of a bunch of other more popular anime and made an idol anime with the most basic ass idol plot. Nothing exceptional here.

Gekidol: (undecided) It’s an idol anime... set after a mysterious apocalyptic event? It’s mostly so far seemed intriguing as hell but not my jam. Mysterious craters destroyed parts of Japan, and its rebuilding and the MCs wanna bring light to the world. Maybe aliens exist? Idk! I’m intrigued.

I*Chu: (No) Another idol anime but this time it’s cute boys! Idk maybe this is a decent idol anime but it rly didn’t grab me and idol stuff isn’t usually my jam. I couldn’t tell anything exceptionally unique about this one from just the first episode.

WIXOSS Diva: (No, but) I don’t normally watch spin-offs of series but I didn’t realize until halfway into this that it was one cause Crunchyroll didn’t attach it to the core line. It’s like... magical girl battle idols in VR! Which honestly if you’re a fan of that it might actually be worth checking out.(edited)

Idolls!: (No) Another idol anime! But this one uses mocap 3d models. Phoned in plot line delivered by a weird tiki statue that tells the girls what to do. Seems extraordinarily low budget, and more just a way to sell music. The whole episode happened in a single set and  was basically just... girls want to make it big as idols... oh no... gotta book a stage! Yay they got one! Now must get an audience! Like... ok

Hortensia Saga: (No but) Sword and sorcery fantasy setting that’s mostly sword, main character is a princess masquerading as a male knight alongside the son of her dead parents’s also dead bodyguard. The first episode is very lore heavy and felt kinda like the prologue to a video game. So it ended up feeling a little expository and trope laden, but it has potential. Seems a bit Game of Thronesy? Wasn’t like... bad or anything, so if it’s your thing you might enjoy it.

Otherside Picnic: (Yes) I think it’s gay first of all, two girls going exploring / treasure hunting / monster hunting in a bizarre mirror world to their own. Girls are cute, it’s very interesting premise and writing seems solid.

Wonder Egg Priority: (Yes) It deals with some HEAVY themes? But it’s... a bit of a psychological horror but in a way that feels very like it’s dealing with some of the real life issues. The main character girl comes across as neurodivergent, and it’s just... idk man the first episode was good and left me wanting more.

[purplesurveys]

932

What's your favourite sport? Do you prefer to watch it or play it?: I love pro wrestling, if you count that as a sport. I definitely prefer to just stay in front of a TV – I have never been in a ring, nor am I physically fit to even give it a shot without getting harshly injured. Conversely, I love table tennis but I’d rather play it than watch a game.

Who was the last person to send you a friend request on Facebook?: It was a stranger who, upon checking, seems to be some sort of spam account promoting a pyramid scheme. Happy to nope the fuck out of there.

Have you ever been to that person's house?: Definitely not. I don’t add people I didn’t know on any level, anyway.

How recently did you wash your hands?: This morning when I cleaned up after Cooper.

How many girls do you know named Emma?: Not a common name here, so I don’t know any Emmas.

[trigger warning under this I guess. Lots of angst going on at the moment.]

Are you upset, for any reason at all?: Yeah. I’ve been feeling very upset and under stress lately...to give you an idea, I find it a personal achievement to have gotten up and taken this survey. I’m at least self-aware that this is a temporary slump, but while it’s here hanging around, it really sucks to be in it.

How did you feel when you woke up today?: Shitty. The only reason I got up at all was to feed my dogs but otherwise I’ve been glued to either the couch or my bed.

When you're stressed, what helps you to relax or calm down?: Lately, it’s episodes of Good Mythical Morning. Rhett, Link, and their crew will never have any idea just how much they’ve helped this 22 year old, now-wondering-what-her-purpose-is-in-life fresh college graduate keep sane, but I’m glad they have hours upon hours of content and podcasts lying around to keep me company while no one else can.

What were you doing before you started this survey?: I finished another survey that I abandoned yesterday, and was watching GMM to fill up the silence in my room.

Is there something else you should be doing, that's more important?: I’ve been job-hunting 24/7 but lately I’ve been giving myself a break on weekends since no one will be processing applications or booking interviews on a Saturday anyway.

When was the last time you neglected to do something that you'd planned?: Around noon today.

Is there someone that can always make you smile no matter how bad you feel?: Apparently not. I’ve been a wreck all month so far and nothing has worked. Before September, I certainly thought animals or certain humans worked as cures for me.

Do you have any friends that you feel don't fully appreciate you?: I don’t feel that way about them. I think my friends care for me a whole lot, which I appreciate. I’ve had friends come to my DMs quite a few times in the last few days with messages of support since I’ve been a little vocal about how sad I’ve been feeling these days, so I for sure don’t feel invisible. Making me feel present is the best gift anyone could give me.

When was the last time someone told you that you were beautiful?: Last week when Gab came over.

Who was the last person that apologised to you?: Myself.

What were they apologising for?: Haven’t been looking out for myself recently.

Do you think they meant it?: I guess not, because I still haven’t stopped being destructive towards myself.

Would you be embarrassed if your parents looked at your Facebook?: I have them as my friends so they see everything. But I’m 22, so while they can complain about some of my posts (and it’s usually the political ones lol), they can’t tell me to take anything down anymore the same way they were able to do so when I was younger.

Describe the personality of the person you have feelings for.: She’s very warm, understanding, generous, and immeasurably protective of the people she loves.

What does your pencil case look like? What's in it?: I have a plush dog pencilcase that I use for my pens and pencils (given by my sister) and a pink pencilcase with a floral design that holds my highlighters (given by Jane).

In your Facebook friends list, who is the first person listed under 'D'?: Some girl named Abby whose surname begins with D. She was someone from my high school and we mutually know each other, but we’re not friends and we’ve never even talked.

How did you meet him/her?: I’ve never talked to her but I’ve known of her since grade school I guess? since she’s my sister’s batchmate.

Did the last person you kissed have facial hair?: No.

You're locked in a room with your ex. Any problems?: It would just be my girlfriend too so there wouldn’t be any problems, except that I’d probably break down crying upon seeing her again because I’ve barely pulled myself together over the last week and have had to go through it alone.

Be honest. What are you most afraid of?: These days I’m definitely doubting my capabilities and achievements and all the shit I’ve put on my resumé and portfolio, and now I’m scared if any company will even give me a chance. I’m honestly holding a little bit of resentment for every employed person right now because I have seen absolutely no one talk about how brutal this whole process/waiting game is, lol. This is so SHITTY, is it just difficult for me or what???? I’m so baffled.

In the last 24 hours, have you seen or spoken to anyone you dislike?: I’ve dealt with myself, but that’s it.

What colour are the eyes of the last person that told you they loved you?: Dark brown. 

What is a word or phrase that you say often?: I like saying “I guess” because it makes me sound unsure about most things and thus makes me not 100% accountable if things go wrong hah. I do have another answer that’s more in line with the angst and depression I’ve been going through recently, and it’s that I’ve repeating BoJack Horseman’s ‘piece of shit’ monologue to himself, but this time saying it to myself.

Name 3 songs that remind you of someone special.: Sparks by Coldplay; anything by Mitski; and anything by St. Vincent.

How much chocolate do you have in your house atm, if any?: We have...a lot. We still have the chocolate cake from Nina’s birthday and we recently received an entire pack of various fun-size chocolate bars like Twix, Three Musketeers, etc. from my aunt. We also have chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream that I normally would finish up in a day, but I’ve been saving it for every future job rejection I receive. 

Who is the most intelligent person you know?: Chesca.

Do you have younger siblings? If you do, are you protective of them?: Yes. I’m protective of my sister but I don’t show it lol. We are not showy in this family.

Who was the last person you insulted?: Idk probably a politician on social media.

What are the other members of your household doing at this moment?: I have not gone out of my room all day...I did not miss this sensation. It’s been a while since I’ve locked myself up for this long.

Do you have any neighbours that you don't get along with?: There’s a house behind ours that loudly plays 80s and 90s power ballads and love songs and it gets insanely irritating and makes the neighborhood feel cheap, but I keep my feelings to myself and I’ve never actually confronted them about it and asked them to stop or decrease their speaker’s volume.

How recently did you speak to the last person you kissed?: Like 30 minutes ago. I’m not very talkative these days and it was actually just the second time today that I initiated a bried conversation. I feel bad for her, and I can’t wait to get better so I can start treating her right again.

Who was the last person you told to get lost, or something similar?: I don’t usually tell this to people.

Give me a random line from the last song you listened to.: “We know better so we’d both better go.”

Have you ever had an argument with the last person you Facebook messaged?: Lots. She’s my girlfriend lol.

Do you have any plans for tonight?: I don’t know. If I feel any better, I’d practice and review for my upcoming interview this Tuesday, but if I’m not okay by then...I don’t know. I’ve stopped planning my days out recently and just go where my legs take me.

Where were you at 9 o'clock last night?: I was at the dining table trying to take a survey, but I quickly lost interest in it.

In the past week, have you slept past midday?: Kind of. Like I mentioned, Gabie’s on the night shift so I’ve been keeping her company, which means I occasionally take naps in the afternoon.

Is there anything happening tomorrow, that you're looking forward to?: No. I’m so scared of tomorrows now.

Is there anyone you used to be friends with, that you now dislike?: I dislike Athenna only because of her attitude and the way she treated Angela during the last few days of their friendship. I don’t have any personal beef with her, at least I don’t think I have. She likes stirring up shit though and I won’t be surprised if she was able to make up a story about me to get our other friends to dislike me.

What is your least favourite chocolate bar?: Eh, I’m pretty picky about chocolate bars so I have more brands that I dislike than the ones I do enjoy. I only like Reese’s, Butterfinger, Twix, and Whittaker’s. 

Do any of your friends or relatives have the same birthday as you?: Just this girl I went to grade school with named Mitch. Otherwise, April 21 babies are a rare breed apparently.

Name the last song that made you cry.: O by Coldplay.

Who do you miss at this moment?: The me from like two weeks ago lol. How far I’ve fallen.

Where is that person?: Stuck in August, I guess.

Have you ever dyed your hair an unnatural colour?: No.

Have you had any deep conversations today?: No.

Is your television on atm?: It’s not, but I have my phone playing GMM videos on YouTube to keep me company.

If it is, what are you watching?: It’s one of their product test videos.

Are you wearing anything blue?: My shirt is blue, actually.

Who were the last 5 people to make you smile?: Rhett and Link, and that’s pretty much it.

Do you use Twitter?: Sure.

Tell me about the last YouTube video you watched. They’re pitting brand name cleaning products and natural cleaning products against each other and seeing which one is more effective. I love these videos of theirs, hahaha.

Is there anything else you'd like to say?: No, I feel like I’ve grilled myself enough in this survey.

[ayankun]

Let’s Talk About Lincoln Campbell

The friend who convinced me to give Agents of Shield another shot way back when also sort of spoiled the S3 finale for me.  He mentioned being surprised that a character from the team was axed, but when I got there, I couldn’t figure out what he meant.  I mean, there’s the scene where Hive and Lincoln don’t come back from space, but Brett Dalton hasn’t played a character on the Team for a while now.  And Lincoln .... Oh.  He meant Lincoln. 

Lincoln’s a main character?

Dissecting Agent 33′s utility to Ward’s season arc helped clear some of my lasting confusion.  Lincoln’s character shares a lot of that same utility as a love interest to a lead character.  He’s perpetually somebody Daisy can turn to with her crazy troubles, and no matter what they are, he’s always in a position to say “I know what you’re going through.”  And that’s great.  For Daisy.

Lincoln spends the start of S3 on the run.  All his Inhuman friends have been hunted down by either Lash or the ATCU, and he has doubts about SHIELD’s intentions, too.  He’s only roped onto the team because Daisy’s in charge and she wants him there.  He only stays for her.

Eventually he starts to express his desire to leave and pursue his relationship with Daisy without the backdrop of all this life-and-death spy drama.  But by this point Daisy’s brainwashed, taken by Hive, and when she agrees with him, it’s not without ulterior motives.  Sucks to be Lincoln, because if she hadn’t been swayed, she never would have agreed.  SHIELD is her everything, and he’s just a guy she has a lot in common with.

Lincoln’s tragedy, then, is being in love with someone he could never be happy with.  He’s done with SHIELD; he’s done trying to hold himself up to Daisy’s and Coulson’s heroic ideals.  He’s the bad boy with the tortured past and the heart of gold, the whole package, but he’ll never be comfortable in Daisy’s world.

But he does love her.  So he gets to be the Big Damn Hero, with his privileged information regarding her vision of death, mortally wounded and with nothing left to lose.  In contrast to Agent 33, his sacrifice is tailored to his character -- he has to fry the manual controls so Hive can’t redirect the Quinjet, so he can’t be substituted without altering the results.

His actions present Daisy with her major tragedy of the season.  After hurting everyone she’s ever cared about, she’s suddenly robbed of the short-term solution which she thinks will allow her to atone.  On top of that, after all the emotional and psychological trauma she’s been through, the one person she could always turn to is the one that’s robbed her of it.

She’s finally loved and has been loved in return.  And now he’s gone forever.  Because of her.  Because she can’t stop blaming herself, and now there’s no one left she can trust to talk her down.  Which takes her character strongly into S4.

So with all this pretty solid character work, why do I still forget Lincoln’s name after having seen this show five times?

Why do I lump him in with Agent 33 as one of the “eh” things about my favorite section of my favorite show?

First off, I do think it has a lot to do with the performance.  Where’s the spark of life that leaps off the page fully formed?  There’s nothing there on paper that compels me to Lincoln.  And, given the choice, I choose to feel irritated.  Irritated that I’m being asked to care about this character instead of being forced to.

Because look.  I don’t choose to care about the eternal FitzSimmons drama -- I have to.  Elizabeth Henstridge demands this of me (and I’m happy to comply).  Iain De Caestecker demands this of me.  Henry Simmons and Chloe Bennet don’t give me a choice but to care about what happens to them.  I’m with them and their characters for the long haul, no matter what.

If you want to talk about tragedy, we only have to look over at the personal tragedies of FitzSimmons for an example of script and performance creating something greater than the sum of its parts. 

Fitz shouting at a rock -- insane but he sells it.  Simmons’ vlogging her extraterrestrial adventures -- equally delightful and heartbreaking.  The moment where they have wine and she just silently breaks down.  Simmons’ personal tragedy of having left Will behind and Fitz’s personal tragedy of moving heaven and earth to bring him back.  In this context, FitzSimmons is a no-win game; somebody has to lose.  It’s complex and painful and you love experiencing every second of it.

Second, Lincoln doesn’t really carry his own storylines outside of his relationship with Daisy.  Once he’s folded into Team Coulson, his main utility is to drop timely exposition disguised as Afterlife lore.  And when he’s done talking, and when he can see that he’ll always be fighting a losing battle for Daisy’s attention, he decides to leave.  And then he does.

In a way that’s very tragic for Daisy.  In a way that wrenches my emotions on his behalf?  Naw, mate.  I’ve already seen May lose Andrew multiple times this season.  I’ve seen Coulson lose Rosalind mid-sentence.  I’ve seen Mack standing alone at the bar, his glass still raised.  I know how heavy this scene is expected to hit. 

In this genre, and definitely in this show, loss of life is often presented as the ultimate tragedy.  It’s cost effective, sure, humans generally don’t like to lose other humans.  But the emotional payout of such a narrative maneuver is directly correlated to the emotions paid in, and Lincoln never really earned any of my pennies.

Because if I have to pull a Dr. Garner on myself, I’m Fitz trying to dig up dirt on Will and finding nothing.  I should like the guy, but I just don’t.  I can’t be stopped from acting like a jealous ex who doesn’t approve of the new boyfriend.