#anyway I'm NOT going to write that post about leaving that I keep threatening to write

[liesonthefloordramatically]

this week is the 9th anniversary of me fleeing my parents’ home, which is. fine. it’s whatever. but more importantly that means that NEXT year I’ll be celebrating a decade of Being Disowned and I really need to come up with a proper way to celebrate it

[sunshine-jesse]

Control: The Strange Dynamics of Andy and Leyley or

The Incest End Is Not The Fucking Bad End, Stop Coping

EDIT:

Hey guys! This post is blowing the fuck up, but this was my first essay on this game, and I think I've had many more insightful things to say since then. Here's a link to a masterpost with all of my essays, which I'd definitely suggest reading after this one:

Anyways, without further adieu...

I heard a lot about this game going in. I knew the general story beats and the funny haha incest memes. I knew it was about a toxic codependent relationship where Ashley, the sister, acted like your standard overly-controlling person who used various abuse techniques to keep someone in line. I expected Ashley to be a yandere-type character where she was borderline psychotic, irrational, and had a skewed perception of reality. I expected her to be a crazy bitch, and I love me some crazy bitches.

But then I actually played through the game. ...That is not what I got.

The game advertises Andrew as a doormat extraordinaire who is strung along by his Very Not Good sister and has no agency of his own' that he's just a henpecked abuse victim. But in practice, that doesn't seem to be the case. One of their first exchanges that in the story is when the occultist played his music and Ashley wanted them to check it out. He says 'no', sure, but then he smirks and says 'but I'll come along if you do.'

That is not the dialogue of someone who has no will of their own, that's the dialogue of someone who willingly gives up their own agency.

This is not, on its own, a sign of anything out of the ordinary. What caught my attention with it, though, is how it flew in the face of the common narrative surrounding their relationship dynamic. But that's not the first time I noticed it, it's just the first time, in retrospect, that their actual dynamic begins to show. The first time I personally noticed it is in the choking scene.

There are a lot of ways to view this situation. But my own reading? This was not a crime of passion. This was not him trying to break free. This is him doing something he's thought about for a while. This is premeditated. In this scene, Andrew is done playing along with Ashley's shit. In this scene, I firmly believe Ashley is the victim.

Ashley is the more openly abusive of the two who seeks to do whatever she can to trap Andrew so he'll never leave her. That much is clear. But Andrew-

-clearly has these same tendencies. He says this shortly after Ashley mentions putting her name up on a call girl's wall for money. There's protective brotherly instincts, and then there's this. This is not something you'd threaten a sister with, this is something that a man would threaten his wife with, which is directly brought attention to in the story.

(hey look he accepts the framing of it being WIFE beating at face value, and says Ashley is the only one who makes him like that! HMMMMMMMMMM WONDER WHAT THAT IMPLIES???)

It also implies that this is not the first time physical force has been threatened! I mean, that much is obvious, because of the choking scene that happened before, but I more mean that this implies that Andrew either threatening or utilizing physical force is an established pattern of behavior. However, the Decay route implies that she never thought Andy would kill her (but Andrew would) which can either be for or against depending on one's perspective, so I don't hold to the idea that it's an established pattern too strongly.

Okay, so. Andrew has some controlling and possessive tendencies too. So what? Their relationship is codependent. It's advertised as such. What of it?

Well first of all, it pretty much blows the lid off of the idea that Ashley is the sole perpetrator of abuse in their relationship. I've seen a lot of people view Andrew's behavior as justified retaliation against abuse, but frankly, I don't believe that him threatening to strangle Ashley for violating boundaries by trying to hold him accountable for his actions (given the strangulation part happens after she brought up Nina's death and how Andrew was ultimately responsible) is justified. And I ESPECIALLY don't believe that him threatening to backhand Ashley for her transactional attitude towards sex is justified in ANY circumstance.

EDIT: This part was edited in from the original post for the sake of readability so they don't have to see the reblogs to see the updated version! This post gained more traction than I was expecting!

…But perhaps even more telling is what she DOESN'T do.

Pushing someone's boundaries until they lash out is a pretty common tactic in abusive relationships. It's easy to see why, too: It justifies prior behavior and paints them in a negative light to others. This can be an important aspect of using DARVO (deny, attack, and reverse victim and offender) against someone, although the two ideas aren't necessarily linked.

It's pretty easy to argue that this is what Ashley does, but if you look at the one time her boundary pushing DID go too far, when Andrew lashes out with physical violence… she doesn't do that. She doesn't blame him. She doesn't paint herself as the victim. She doesn't even try to give a reason as to why she shouldn't be killed outside of the comfort she gives him. Why is this notable?

Because the mom does, in fact, engage in what could be considered DARVO against Ashley:

(i will elaborate more on this screenshot in particular below)

Ashley is directly compared to Mrs. Graves by Andrew, and yet she crucially displays none of the habits that Mrs. Graves does. Mrs. Graves lays the blame on Ashley, but Ashley doesn't lay the blame on Andrew. Mrs. Graves tends to paint herself as the victim of Ashley, but Ashley does no such thing to Andrew. The mom denies her culpability at every turn; Ashley doesn't. Ashley tries to hold Andrew accountable for his role in Nina's death, which could be considered a kind of DARVO. But she never denies that she had a role to play in it. She just mentions that he was the one who pulled the trigger. And he was.

(and the point was more that she DIDN'T engage in it when threatened with physical violence; the perfect chance to)

In Mrs. Graves' mind, she is the victim of either Ashley, or society as a whole. In Ashley's mind, she knows what she is, what she does, and what she's about. The only thing she's oblivious to- or doesn't acknowledge, at least- is the threat Andrew poses to her. In her mind, she's the bad guy. In Andrew's mind, Ashley is the bad guy. In official art, she is the bad guy:

And yet, in the game itself, Andrew is the one holding the cleaver. Not her. Hm.

Ashley is the world's most convenient scapegoat. She allows people to mask their own worst habits and pretend they're better people than they are. She accepts this role. She embraces it. She doesn't try to deny it. But when that mask slips, people lash out at her. Both Mrs. Graves and Andy (NOT Andrew, crucially) predicate much of their self-perception on being what she's not.

But they're the ones who enabled her to become like this, every step of the way.

And that's what blew my fucking mind, and made me question just who the victim really is. She was never given a chance to be normal, because other people relied on her NOT being normal.

By the end of my second playthrough, I felt worse for Ashley than I did for Andrew, and I still do.

So. What am I getting at? What does this show me about the relationship between Ashley and Andrew?

(I also wanted to point out that Andrew does engage in DARVO too but I didn't want to distract from the behavior of the mother. Unlike what Andrew does, it doesn't require someone to reassess the narrative they have towards the game in order to realize the implications of it, whereas it's pretty easy to justify Andrew's words as not qualifying as DARVO if you buy into the narrative that he's the sole victim and/or that Ashley is the main perpetrator of abuse. A friend of mine pointed out that it's a pretty key part of the push/pull dynamic they have, and I completely agree.

However, the direct comparisons to the behavior of the mother can't be ignored no matter your narrative, so I felt as if I needed to highlight that more.)

EDIT OVER

It shows me that their relationship is all about control.

Specifically, the push and pull of who controls who in any given situation.

Andrew weaponizes his incompetence. He always looks to lay the blame on Ashley. This is drawn attention to several times, and said explicitly in the Decay route.

He is always surrendering control to her, and yet he never HAS to. He could always just say no. He could always refuse. What are the consequences? Her being upset? Well, unfortunately, it's not that easy. That's not how abuse dynamics work. He probably feels like he has to, or rather, feels like there's no other option. That he's in too deep, and stuck with her no matter what. But personally, I think it's pretty clear from his willingness to surrender control to Ashley that he still feels like he has it at points, because the moment he feels like he's about to lose it, he either considers violence, even as a child-

(the actual scene of slicing her finger is pretty sus too with this reading in mind)

-or resorts to it, outright, in both the choking scene and the vision in the Decay ending... when Ashley doesn't have enough bullets to defend herself (this will be important later!).

SO WHAT POINT AM I TRYING TO MAKE??? AM I JUST MAKING ABUSE APOLOGIA (the answer may surprise you)?

No. I don't think so.

Ashley is obviously very bad. She's controlling and uses pretty textbook abuse and entrapment tactics on Andrew whereas everything he does to her is inference, with Ashley too daft to realize just how much danger she's in until the vision in the Decay ending spells it out for her- and I don't know if a true abuse dynamic allows for one to be completely unaware of the consequences of breaking free. She could just let go of her desire for control and Andrew would be a much happier person.

And that's the point, because so would she.

I bring up control because that push and pull- that desire for control over each other- is exactly what's tearing their relationship apart, and this effect most obviously manifests in the two endings of episode 2. In the Decay ending, Ashley either tries to exert control over Andrew due to a lack of trust, or Andrew allows his feelings of entrapment to truly take root in his mind and guide his actions. In the Decay ending, Andrew becomes a true doormat with no will of his own, allowing his feelings of bitterness and resentment to fester and grow, eventually resulting in their deaths.

In the Burial ending, Andrew does the exact opposite. He takes control of the situation and does exactly what Ashley would do without much of a fuss. This eventually culminates in THAT scene (assuming you take the Questionable route), where his facial expression alone speaks volumes:

Look at how fucking confident this man is. This is not the face of someone who's unsure of himself; this is the face of someone who knows exactly what he wants and takes it. He is absolutely in control of this situation, and everyone is happier for it.

And what does Ashley have to do to get this ending?

Let's go back to Decay for a moment. If Ashley has bullets in her gun, she has control over the situation. She, at any point, could put an end to Andrew and survive. And yet, at the very end of it all, she could choose not to. She could choose to surrender control to Andrew, allowing herself to die. And that ending, I believe so much of his life and willpower will have decayed that there's nothing left for him to take control of, leaving him no choice- or rather, no use for the control he now has- but to die with her.

And in the Burial ending, she has to let him out of his cage before it's too late. She has to surrender control to him, and when she does-

-He will become everything she ever needed him to be.

It's all about her surrendering control, and it's all about him taking control. Because, no matter what, as long as that happens... the two of them will be together forever.

In life...

...or in death.

How romantic.

So no, the incest end is not the fucking bad end. They're going to be together forever in the end either way, so they might as well live through it.

[moodymisty]

Could I request maybe something to do with Starscream and jealousy? Your writing is SCRUMPTIOUS and ooouuhh yk it’s such a good color on him <3

[ 𝕸𝖔𝖔𝖉𝖞𝕸𝖎𝖘𝖙𝖞'𝖘 𝕸𝖆𝖘𝖙𝖊𝖗𝖑𝖎𝖘𝖙 | 𝕬𝖔3 ]

Author's Note: First Transformers post on the blog! I was considering keeping it all on ao3 but if people want to request some, who am I to stop them. Anyways, Starscream is a jealous knob and I love him for it. I hope you enjoy this, it's in Screamer's pov so if that's not what you wanted, feel free to send in another request.

Summary: You accidentally fall asleep inside of Knockout's altmode, and Starscream gets jealous.

Relationships: (TFP)Starscream/Fem!Reader

Warnings: You are a friend of the Autobots captured as a potential bargaining chip, Starscream has a crush but he's also a fucking moron, Jealousy, References to Shockwave's horrific science 'experiments' from the books and other media

Word Count: 1357

The human is missing.

Starscream paces the halls of the Nemesis searching for the only organic that's stepped foot in the massive ship, and keeps coming up empty on each pass. He feels like he's scoured the place seven times over, each one more infuriating than the last.

On this latest one- conveniently avoiding Soundwave halfway through- he notices a distinct lack of a certain bright red mech when he returns to the medbay for the third time, standing in the middle of the massive room and looking around. His wings rise and lower with his shoulders, barely containing his irritation.

It's in this silent, boiling contemplation that Starscream decides to take the hit to his pride and comm the medic. Hopefully he's gotten sight of you, and that can take this annoying weight off of Starscream's chest. Other than himself, he's the only other Decepticon that has had responsibility over you; As Starscream has left you in his watch multiple times.

He's put a lot of effort into catching you and keeping you alive as of yet, the last thing he needs is to find you trapped somewhere or being prodded by a morbidly curious Vehicon.

Though once he gets his servos back on you, you're going into the cage he threatened to put you in. He thought being nice might loosen your lips a bit, but that hasn't been the case. He still has yet to get any information as of yet from you; At least nothing of worth.

Thankfully Knockout answers his comm quickly, and the seeker instantly starts blowing the medic's audials to Cybertron and back.

"Knockout! The human is-" The medic cuts him off, eager to silence the seeker's screech as well as avoid disturbing his current company.

"Relax, Starscream. She's with me."

Starscream's sharp talons curl into fists as he hisses out a reply. Passing Vehicons look at the Air Commander before quickly picking up pace and scurrying by- and Starscream closes the door with the press of a button and shuts himself in the medbay for a bit of privacy to air his troubles without prying optics.

"You took the human off the Nemesis?"

His voice is seething, venomous, and Knockout resists the urge to audibly sigh over the commlink.

"You wanted me to keep an optic on her, so I am. And I wanted to take a drive, so she's with me." Starscream opens his mouth to once again try and scold Knockout for not only bending his directions but being a condescending aft about it, but he gets cut off before he gets the chance.

"And I might not be winning any awards, but I'm not in the mood to be Shockwave's runner up for 'cruelest scientist in the galaxy' or returning your little bargaining chip to you in pieces. So I wasn't leaving them with that freak or Soundwave."

Starscream has never had good morals. Never claimed to. But while he's unfathomably upset that his potential bargaining chip is now out of confinement and in an unknown location, he isn't going to say that Knockout's reasoning is unstable.

The thought of being anywhere close to the depravity of Shockwave doesn't exactly fill the seeker with much good emotion. Neither does his effort going to waste with your offlining, he quickly adds at the end in order to avoid any sort of misconstruction within his own processor.

He sighs.

"Have you at least managed to obtain any sort of valuable information out of her?"

Knockout makes a negative noise.

"She powered down not long after we left. She's been recharging since."

Right, humans need daily recharge.

What a hindrance, Starscream thinks. He doesn't remember ever seeing you do so however; So more than likely, you've been running on empty for quite awhile. Still pacing in the medbay like an idiot, Starscream only stops when the medic speaks up with his normal, annoying nonchalant tone.

"You know, she's actually not that bad for a human," Knockout continues. "How about you just lock her in the medbay from now on instead of loosing her all the time?" Starscream goes to bite back but doesn't manage to think up anything worth saying, and instead throws his hand outward as if hitting something invisible.

If prompted Starscream would absolutely proclaim that having an organic inside of his altmode or even in his servo is disgusting. They're soft, malleable, and not far weaker. How Knockout as vain as he is can deal with it he doesn't know.

What he also doesn't know, is why he's so damn upset about it. He shouldn't care, you're occupied away from him if anything he should be happy to not have to deal with any organic idiosyncrasies for the time being.

However anytime since flying with him for you had been a clearly stressful experience, and Starscream hadn't cared in the slightest. Why would he?

But for you to fall asleep in Knockout must mean you trust the mech even just marginally more than him enough to succumb to recharge.

Not surprising; As you seem to like the medic. The two of you get along decently considering circumstances and differences. He makes you laugh, which pisses off the seeker to a monumental degree. Even he himself doesn't get why.

The only time you've truly smiled in Starscream's presence is when you're actually looking at Knockout.

The seeker has been nothing but courteous to you considering you are nothing but a prisoner, why do you choose enjoy and recharge in the company of some snobby, over-buffed medic instead of him?

With a sound made from Knockout's end, Starscream quickly realizes he's supposed to answer questions and stammers out a reply.

"I will, consider it. Now, return the human to the Nemesis something stupid happens."

Knockout sighs and agrees, making a U-turn and beginning to make his way back with you still asleep against the passenger door. The entire time Starscream paces inside the medbay, all the way until the medic returns with a human in his grasp. Starscream watches intently as he plops you unceremoniously onto the large dissection table. You scoot away from a spot of dried energon and stand somewhat close to the edge, but not close enough that one wayward bump could be your demise.

"I didn't think I would have to say 'No using the human as an excuse to go for a drive', but here we are."

Knockout gives the seeker an unimpressed look.

"While you are technically my superior, I will say that you might want be a bit more polite given I can just tell Megatron what you're up to."

While Starscream glares at him, you look up at Knockout with a surprisingly placid expression. You look in better spirits, as far as they can both tell. The recharge seemed to have did wonders for the overall health of their little captive. Useful, given you needed to be alive for the Autobots.

"Thank you for the drive, Knockout."

You smile at him, and the medic looks at Starscream with a snooty, condescending smirk.

"See, Starscream? An attitude adjustment goes a long way in keeping your little prisoners compliant." Your smile turns a little bit more confused and worried, but less than it probably should given circumstances.

Meanwhile, the seeker wants to do nothing more than to throttle Knockout by the neck cabling.

The two of you are rapidly becoming closer, and he's already thinking of the ways to try and stop it. He tries to come up for some sort of valid reason in his own processor as to why he so vehemently wants to, but comes up empty other that that you should be this way with him instead.

"Just- Keep the human locked in the medbay until they either decide to speak, or the Autobots come looking." He turns around, intent to leave until he hears a small human voice that halts him halfway through the entryway.

"Bye, Starscream."

Knockout has to resist the urge to keel over laughing, at the way Air Commander Starscream goes rigid, wings frozen high in surprise as he scurries out of the medbay.

[etrsilk]

Hi ! Can I request what would do the main four if you were catcalled?

Today I have been catcalled and it's made me feel so bad and embarrassed.. Anyway I love so much you're a headcanon !

₊✩‧₊˚ ᡣ𐭩 𝐌𝐀𝐈𝐍 𝐅𝐎𝐔𝐑 ⇝ 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐦 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐠𝐞𝐭 𝐜𝐚𝐭𝐜𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐞𝐝 .ᐟ

˗ˏˋ ➛ 𝙞𝙣𝙘𝙡𝙪𝙙𝙚𝙨: 𝘒𝘪𝘭𝘭𝘶𝘢,𝘎𝘰𝘯,𝘒𝘶𝘳𝘢𝘱𝘪𝘬𝘢,𝘓𝘦𝘰𝘭𝘪𝘰

˗ˏˋ ➛ 𝙬𝙖𝙧𝙣𝙞𝙣𝙜 — 𝘴𝘦𝘹𝘶𝘢𝘭 𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘮𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘴

˗ˏˋ ➛ 𝙜𝙚𝙣𝙧𝙚 — 𝘧𝘭𝘶𝘧𝘧,𝘢𝘯𝘨𝘴𝘵 (?)

⎝ 𝙣𝙤𝙩𝙚:: firstly I'm so sorry it took so long!! As I said in one of my posts I had to study for a very important exam that I had on Friday and then I had to take a little break! But now it's good I'm back !! And I'm sorry for what happened to you...take care of yourself I hope you get better 🫶🏻 and thank you very much ♡♡ while writing I realized that it looked more like one shots than headcanons but I hope you like it anyway!! ♡

 —𝐊𝐈𝐋𝐋𝐔𝐀ꫂ ၴႅၴ

You had just left your candy store and were on your way home when a stranger approached you and started making inappropriate remarks.

"Hey beautiful, you know you’re really sexy with those big breasts?"

You suddenly stopped and let go of your boyfriend's hand. Killua turned around with a piercing, icy gaze and a murderous intent in his eyes.

The stranger, surprised by Killua’s serious and threatening tone, took a few steps back, laughing nervously.

"Hey... it's okay, man. I’m just joking. I was just giving your girlfriend a compliment, chill."

Killua, still with his dark assassin’s gaze, activated his claws. He wasn’t going to use them or harm the stranger; he just wanted to terrify him.

"That’s not a compliment. It’s disrespectful. Say one more inappropriate thing, and you’ll regret it."

The stranger, feeling the murderous aura emanating from Killua, continued to back away until he bumped into a trash can.

"Pfff, I’m outta here." He said, raising his hand to seem cool. He then quickly walked away.

Killua let out a small, mocking, proud laugh, then turned to you to see how you were doing. He took your head in his hands and kissed your forehead.

"Are you okay?"

You remained silent.

"He’s just a jerk, you know that?"

"Yes, I know. Let’s keep going."

"That said, he’s not wrong, you are sexy... ouch, I was just kidding!!"

 —𝐊𝐔𝐑𝐀𝐏𝐈𝐊𝐀ꫂ ၴႅၴ

You were having a quiet morning when a stranger approached you and started making inappropriate remarks towards you.

"Hey beautiful, you know you’re really sexy with those big breasts?"

Kurapika widened his eyes and squeezed your hand tightly.

"Ouch, Kurapika, you're hurting me... just ignore him, okay? It's nothing."

"Oh, she's ignoring me..."

...

"I know you heard me, princess..."

...

"Just answer my question; don’t you have a phone number to give me? With your boyfriend's build, you must not be very satisfied in bed. You’ll see what it's like to—"

He didn't have time to finish his sentence before a punch sent him to the ground. Kurapika, his eyes red with anger.

"You should be careful about what you say."

"Damn, man, who do you think you are—"

He noticed the hatred in Kurapika's eyes and stopped short.

"Uh... it's not a big deal, I'm leaving anyway. She's not even that sexy

He quickly walked away, visibly intimidated. Kurapika watched him go, then turned to you, his expression softening as soon as he met your eyes.

"Are you okay, my love? I'm sorry you had to hear that..."

He kissed your hand before taking it and squeezing it gently.

"Everything’s fine, thank you for putting him in his place, Kurapika."

 —𝐆𝐎𝐍ꫂ ၴႅၴ

You were at a fair, the lights of the rides, the laughter, and the screams of joy creating a cheerful atmosphere. Everything was perfect until a stranger began making inappropriate remarks towards you.

"Hey beautiful, you know you’re really sexy with those big breasts?"

Gon, holding the stuffed animal he had worked so hard to win for you, sees his joyful expression gradually fade.

"What did you just say?"

The stranger, thinking Gon is just a simple teenager, laughs at the situation.

"Relax, kid. I was just giving your girlfriend a compliment."

"A compliment? You should apologize right now."

"And if I don't, what are you going to do?"

Gon clenches his fists, his aura becoming more intense, but he tries to stay calm.

"I won't repeat myself. Apologize."

"No-"

Gon punches the stranger squarely. Everyone around starts watching you. Gon grabs your hand and you both run to escape the security guards chasing you.

A few minutes after escaping, you stop near a supermarket and burst into laughter. In the end, everything turned out fine!

"I'm so sorry someone spoke to you like that."

"It’s nothing, thank you for defending me."

You stand on your tiptoes to reach his level and kiss him tenderly.

"My superman..."

He blushes before taking your hand.

 —𝐋𝐄𝐎𝐑𝐈𝐎ꫂ ၴႅၴ

You are quietly chatting on the terrace of a café when a stranger approaches and starts making inappropriate remarks towards you.

"Hey beautiful, you know you’re really sexy with those big breasts?"

Leorio furrows his brow and freezes.

"What did you just say??"

He shouts in a loud, authoritative voice.

"Your girlfriend is really hot. Should we share her?"

Thinking Leorio is harmless, the stranger steps closer with a sneer.

"Oh, relax. I was just giving a compliment."

"That's not a compliment, it's disrespect. You better apologize right now. Didn't your mother ever teach you to respect women?"

The stranger chuckles but begins to sense the seriousness of the situation as he sees Leorio's unyielding and threatening gaze.

"Get lost."

The stranger, intimidated by Leorio's stare and tone, quickly retreats, casting a nervous glance back. Leorio turns to you with a worried expression.

"Damn, the next time someone talks to you like that…"

You grab his hand and envelop it in yours.

"It’s okay, Leorio. It's nothing. Let's go home and forget about it."

Leorio smiles gently before kissing you, and you walk away hand in hand.

—English is not my first language, so sorry for any mistakes!! (*ᴗ͈ˬᴗ͈)ꕤ*.ﾟ

[lovelybrooke]

Platonic Yandere Soul Eater Gang x reader

A/N: So, I've been posting a lot of One Piece stuff, so I thought I would be good to break up with other fandoms I'm interested in. Soul Eater is an Anime I haven't watched in a while but really enjoy so I wanted to write something involving the main group. I also want to write for OHSHC and maybe even twisted wonderland and Genshin. Anyway, please like or reblog if you enjoy. Thank you!

The Soul Eater gang is filled with a bunch of odd ball characters. From an outsider's perspective, it is hard to tell that they are even friends. They are almost always arguing, and if they aren't there's an argument waiting to happen.

I like to think that you were a knew student at the DWMA, weapon or meister, it doesn't matter. What matters is that, to these kids, you were interesting. You most likely met Maka first, Soul never too far from her. After that, she introduced you to the others, and the rest was history.

Soul and Maka were like you shadow, never far from you once you became friends with them. Soul is obsessed with anything 'cool' and in his eyes, you are such. You'll never know it, but he constantly worrying about reaching your expectations. Most of the time when he's around you, he's laid back, and compared to the rest of the gang, isn't super possessive. When he's with Maka though, he's more inclined to get upset if someone interrupts your time with him.

Maka is a lot like her weapon, in the case that she isn't possessive over you and your time. She does like hanging out with you and will often spend time studying with you, sometimes even with Kid and Tsubaki. The only thing that gets Maka riled up with you getting hurt. It's something that effects all of them, but Maka always feels as though it is her fault when you get her. She is not afraid to put herself in danger if it means protecting you.

Speaking of Black Star, he is a lot. Just hanging out with him drains a lot of your energy. Out of all of them, Black Star is the one that takes most of your time, not being afraid to threaten someone who is trying to take you away from him. Tsubaki sometimes tries to calm him down, but deep down Tsubaki is just as protective as the rest of the group.

Tsubaki is super sweet. She loves hanging out with you and wishes so much of your time wasn't taken up with school. She hates seeing how stressed you are and will do whatever she can to fix it. She understands that Black Star is a lot to handle, so she's often the one who calms Black Star down when he gets too worked up. However, Black Star and Tsubaki have a hidden understanding, both of them being the one who protect you. If you even go on a mission with them, Black Star and Tsubaki will work his hardest to protect you, both expecting your praise after defeating any threat to you or your safety.

Kid is the strangest. While he loves being your friend, he sometimes feels as though he doesn't deserve your friendship. He wants to be perfect for you, he needs to be perfect for you, and will settle for nothing less. He also encourages you to be your best self, doting on you in every sense. He makes sure you are eating right and keeping up with your studies and training, along with making sure you don't stress yourself out with schoolwork. He wants you to be the best version of yourself, feeling a sense of pride when you accomplish something. Kid is also possessive and will use his status in the school to intimidate students into leaving you alone. He doesn't like when others criticize you, or even talk to you, so he will always drag you away when others try and take up your time, complaining about the so called "useless students."

Once Crona joins the school, they also take a liking to you. They are naturally shy and, like kid, don't believe they deserve you and your kindness. They feel the most content when they are with you and want to be around you constantly. They despise Ragnarök and how he constantly embarrasses them but feels somewhat better when you don't mind. Crona cares a lot about your opinion and will sometimes go as far as changing things about themself to better please you, only stopping when you say not to. Crona also doesn't feel the need to be possessive over you, feeling as though that's wrong, even if they hate it when you are not near them.

All together, they care about you deeply, and want you to be as happy as possible. While they might disagree on a lot of things, they do agree on one thing and that's you. I like to think that Maka manipulates you to move in with her and Soul so that they can keep better track of you and relay that back to the others when needed. You wouldn't really even notice their weird behaviors, since, other than Black Star, are really good at hiding the most negative aspects. If you do ever point out their behavior, they won't hesitate to quilt you into staying with them, referencing how much they've been though, and how they wouldn't make it if you left them.

[asmutwriter]

The Gangsta's Wife (Part 3)

DESCRIPTION: The Shelby's have started to welcome you slowly into the family and start to show you how the business works but things take a dark turn.

A/N: I am hoping to write a lot more over the upcoming weeks of the various stories I'm writing. However I am not sure when I will be able to write them or post them. I will try and do it as often as possible.

WORD COUNT: 2418

From Beginning / Previous / Next / Master List  

WARNINGS: swearing, threatening of violence, mildy toxic relationship

DISCLAIMERS

This is fiction. Please always talk to your partner before doing anything and make sure they are ok with what you are doing beforehand

This story will not follow the timeline of the show. But I hope you enjoy.

You sit in the gambling shop. Waiting for the rest of the family to show up. Arthur and John walk in, their cheery mood cut short as they see you. "What are you doing here?" Arthur says.

"I was asked to join this meeting by Mr Shelby"

"You aren't part of this family. And this is a family meeting. So get the fuck out"

"She won't do that" Tommy says as he walks into the room. "She is my wife and therefore a member of the family. So she should get a say in how we run our business. Understood?" he looks at his brothers who stay silent. The lack of an answer being enough for him apparently "good. Now we just wait for Pol". As if on cue she walks through. The soft smile on her face dropping as she walks into the room, seeing you.

"Why is she here?"

"Because she's family" Thomas says. She looks at him. A silent look being exchanged between the two of them before he keeps talking "I had a discussion with her last night and she says she wants to be a part of this business. So Florence will be joining us for future meetings. If you have a problem with that then you can talk to me about it afterwards" he looks at everyone in the room before he talks again.

"Our first matter is about Harry Thompson. He has been bribing our men. He has a lot of money and power so has been able to take some of our good men. Making them fight for him and not for us. Arthur, John, and myself are meeting with him later today. We are going to negotiate with him to leave Birmingham"

He takes out a cigarette, lighting it and quickly puffing on it before speaking again. "The second matter is regards to our money. I've had to relocate it due to someone deciding to take a large sum of it. I'm working on finding out who and I will deal with them when the time comes. But I trust everyone in this room to know that I have moved it to a safe in the Garrison". He takes another puff of his smoke "would anyone like to add anything else?". Soft no's being heard around the room.

"If that's everything then we should be going. Arthur. John" he heads out the room. His brothers following him. As the door shuts you go to head out as well. Polly walks in front of you, facing you as you stop in your tracks. The fun and friendly atmosphere (the small amount of it anyway) changing in a heartbeat as she keeps her eyes on yours.

"What are you playing at?"

"Excuse me?" you hear the front door shut. Knowing its just you and your aunt-in-law remaining in the house.

"We both know that I told Thomas about you eavesdropping on him. Yet now you've worked your way into the family meeting. I want to know what you did to him" you stay silent. Eyes on hers as she gives you a glare very similar to that of your husbands.

"We did have a discussion. We talked about the situation that you brought up to him. It's sorted now. I simply told him the truth"

"About the rats?" she scoffs before you can answer "Only an idiot would take that story of rats in walls and all that crap. I'm not an idiot Florence. I know you're up to something"

"I'm not up to anything Miss Gray. He asked me for the truth and I gave it to him. He is my husband, I have no intentions to lie to him. If he asks me for the truth I'll give him the truth. It doesn't give me any benefits to lie to him" she comes close to you, pulling a long needle from her hair as she holds it close to your throat. Feeling the end of it nipping at your neck. You tense every muscle in your body as to not flinch away. Clenching your fists in an effort to stop them shaking.

"I don't know what kind of spell you've put Tommy under but I will break it. He will see the manipulation you've put onto him. Then I'll sit back and watch with pleasure as he breaks you". Although you felt a fear in your body you maintained eye contact with her as you manage to keep your composure. A few beats of silence before she moves the needle away. Placing it back into her hair as she straightens out her jacket before walking out of the room. Letting out a breath you weren't aware that you were holding.

You go back to your house. Going inside you shut your eyes. Back pressed against the door as you let the full fear finally catch up to you. Taking a few deep breaths before opening your eyes again. Feeling tears pricking at them as you straighten out your dress. Hands shaking over the soft material. One day you'll be able to be in this family and not have your life threatened by one of them. Pushing your hair behind your ears.

You look at the small table in your hallway. A letter adressed to you written onto it. You pick it up, recognising the handwriting you open it quickly.

'Dear Florence,

I am celebrating my 40th birthday party this weekend at my house up in London. I would love if you could join. Feel free to bring any plus one that you have. Come on the Saturday morning and stay the night. I hope to see you then.

Your friend,

Vanessa Smith'

You smile at the kind words. Folding the letter and placing it back into the envelope. Not realising how much you needed a friendly note. You went upstairs and placed it onto your bedside table.

You spent the day doing your house hold chores. Cleaning, cooking, so on and so on. So when you'd put the girls to bed you retired yourself. Grabbing a cup of tea and a book as you do some light reading in the comfort of your bed after a busy day of house work. The door opens to your bedroom, an obvious attempt to be quiet as its slowly opened. You look at the doorway, seeing Thomas walking in. You go slightly tense as you see him. You hadn't seen him since this morning so you were still slightly tense from the interaction you had with him and his family. But you try and hide it quickly by smiling sweetly at him. He shuts the door behind him, turning to look at you.

"Did I wake you?" you shake your head

"No I was reading"

"At this late hour?" you tilt your head slightly, a soft frown on your brow as he looks at his pocket watch "its nearly two in the morning"

"Fuck" you let out a soft laugh as you look away from him. "I wondered why I was tired". He starts to disrobe as you continue speaking "how did the meeting with Mr Thompson go?".

"It went well" you nod slightly. Moving a few items from your bedside table to make room for your book. He starts to unbutton his shirt "who's the letter from?"

"Oh" you look at the envelop in your hand then back at him "its just from my friend up in London. She's having a party but I probably wont go". He undoes the last button of his shirt, keeping the fabric over his shoulders as he reaches a hand forward

"May I read it?". Although he asks it as a question, and although you know you have every right to say no, you obediently hand him over the envelope. Wanting to show him that you have nothing to hide and that you will be truthful with him. He takes it out, reading the letter quickly. A flash of emotion going through his eyes as he reads the paper. "Why weren't you going?"

"Its' a full weekend and I wouldn't like to leave my sisters for that long. Plus its a long way to go by myself" he nods. Placing the paper back into the envelope before handing it back to you.

"I think we should go"

"We?"

"Yes. We are married and it says that you can bring a plus one. It makes the most sense to take your husband. How about it, eh?"

"I can't leave Elizabeth and Mary for that long. I-"

"John and Arthur will be here to look after them. Make sure they stay out of trouble" you scoff slightly, causing him to give you a look of confusion

"All do respect to your brothers but they're the likeliest to get them into trouble". A smile ghosts his lips as he nods

"I agree with you on that one" he thinks for a moment "I'll ask Ada to come over. She can help run my businesses whilst I'm away, plus she can keep an eye on yor sisters for you. Would that be better for you?". You bite at your bottom lip

"I wouldn't want to be any trouble to her. If its an inconvenience for her then I'd rather just not go" he nods slightly as he takes his shirt off fully, placing it over the chair in the room. He has his back to you as he undoes his trousers

"I'll ask her tomorrow. See what she says"

It was Saturday morning. Thomas had asked his sister a few days ago to which she had said yes. To be honest, you were hoping she'd say no. But here she was, Thomas telling her everything that she needed to know the day you were meant to be going. You did feel a lot happier leaving your sisters and house with Ada in charge, but that doesn't mean you were overly excited about leaving as a whole. Your sister in law seeming to see this, coming over to you and taking your hands in hers after you've placed your belongings into the back of the car.

"I promise that I will look after your sisters. I did last time you went away" she smiles softly at you as you nod. Gripping her hands tightly before letting go.

"Thank you Miss Thorne" she keeps her smile soft as you let go of her hands, tucking your hair behind your ears as you then bite at your thumb.

"Have you got everything you need?" she asks. You nod in response, motioning at a trunk in the back of the car

"Got a nice outfit for both me and Mr Shelby for when we get there, then a normal yet fancy outfit for Sunday when we drive back" she nods as you straighten out your dress "I should go and say goodbye to Lizzie and Mary. Excuse me" you go inside, poking your head into the living room. "Girls?" They both turn to face you, the older not looking at you as she folds her arms over her torso. Mary speaks up

"Do you have to go?" you nod, going over and kneeling in front of them

"I'm sorry girls. But you'll have a great time with Miss Thorne. Do as she asks ok? Please?" Mary nods. You look at Lizzie, who feels your eyes on her. Giving a very, very slight nod. You smile, a sadness in your eyes as you hug them both. "I love you two. So very much. I'll see you on Sunday, ok?" more nodding as they hug you back. Well, the younger does. The older keeps her arms folded as you force the affection onto her. You move away from them, smiling as you stand up. Going back out to the car you say goodbye to Ada who is still waiting. Getting into the car next to Tommy as he starts driving.

You arrive at your destination. A man comes over to your car after you park "any luggage?" you nod, motioning behind you and into the car. He nods, grabbing your bags "please follow me". You get out the car, following behind the man as Thomas stands next to you. Taking in the ornate building in front of you. You get to the entry way of the house. "If you'd like to follow me down this way, your rooms are on the first floor" you go to follow just as you hear a voice speaking.

"I don't believe it. Florence?" you turn, seeing your friend walking down the staircase. She nearly runs as she comes over and hugs you. You hug her back "You actually came". She moves away from the hug, holding your face between her palms as she looks at you, causing you to smile. She drops your face as she sees Thomas, her smile not faltering as she looks at him "and who is this?". He holds his hand out for her to shake

"Thomas Shelby. Florence's husband". Her smiles wavers marginally at the name. But she takes his hand, shaking it.

"Vanessa Smith". She looks at you as she drops his hand "You didn't tell me you got married?" she looks at you

"Its a recent thing, only happened a few months ago" she nods slightly, looking at the man as he keeps his eyes on her. "When are your other guests arriving?" you ask

"Some are already here. They are in the living room" she holds her hand out for you to take "I must show you your room for the weekend though". You take both her hands as she leads you to your room. Thomas following behind. Going into the bedroom you beam as you look around

"Its beautiful" you whisper. Going over to the wooden furniture, running your hand over the delicate features.

"I will leave you two alone. Guests are arriving at 2 so you have a couple of hours before then" she smiles "please come join me once you've settled" she turns, walking out the door and shutting it behind her. You hear the tapping of her heels on the floor outside. You go over to your bags, opening it and rummaging through. Finding your perfume you spray some of it onto your wrists and neck. Placing it back into your bag before turning to Thomas

"We should go and see them Mr Shelby" he nods, holding his arm out for you to take. Which you do.

TAGS

@whorecrux-of-slytherin

Previous / Next

[sophie-looks-at-stuff]

Some random modern HotD headcanons :)

Hey y’all! So I kept thinking of some funny, and very specific headcanons for the HotD characters, so I decided to just make it a whole post. This will actually be my first “legit” post on here, lol! Anyways, this will include some headcanons about Aemond, Aegon II, Luke, Jace, Daemon, Rhaenyra, Helaena, etc. But hope y’all enjoy lol! :)

Ok, I am convinced that Aemond has a secret stash of tea hidden somewhere. He's even put them all in a very nice ornate, antique box. It's his guilty pleasure. He probably would have some Earl Gray, English Breakfast, maybe even some lavender mint for the evenings. He'd keep it secret because all the teas he's gotten are way too expensive, and special.

Luke is an avid Minecraft gamer. Like he's basically built Dragonstone, and the Red Keep in his server. He'll play sometimes with Jace, or maybe even Aegon. But he doesn't let them into that world. Aegon would probably blow it all up with TnT.

Speaking of gaming, I think some people are on the same page that Aegon would be some kind of gamer. He'd be up to date on all the new systems and gadgets. He'd be one of the firsts to have the PS5 when it came out. He probably plays a lot of Call of Duty. Maybe even some Valorant when he doesn't wanna fire up the PS. He'd definitely be cursing and yelling at the game, to the point where Alicent threatens to take it away.

While Rhaenyra watches her shows, House Wives, Rupaul's Drag Race, etc. Daemon pretends to be not interested, but really he's super invested. He'd be leaning against the couch, or the wall totally sucked in. And when Rhaenyra tells him to just sit down and watch with her, he's all like, "no no I don't even like this show". But then he'd say things like, "Well maybe if her gown was better made she wouldn't have been eliminated last episode".

Aegon gives me frat boy energy. And I know I'm not the first to say that lol. You already know he's planning all the parties, and picking the themes. I like to think he'd be very invested into picking the themes. They would be things like, dragon night, wear your fave dragon scale colors. Or something like, Dragonstone beach night, wear your swim suits and flip flops.

Alicent likes to knit. Or maybe crochet? It's her stress reliever activity after dealing with Aegon, and the rest of the boys. Helaena is always giving her new patterns or designs to try.

I think Alicent also likes to take the occasional Buzzfeed quiz. "If you were a cake flavor, here's what you'd be based on your star sign".

Helaena runs a very successful tik tok account. She'd post her outfits, and maybe some art or cool bugs she's found.

Aegon listens to a lot of Megan Thee Stallion and Kim Petras. He's blasting Kim Petras' Treat me like a Slut at least 5 times a day. He gets ready to it in the morning.

Aemond will get down to some Amy Winehouse.

Jace works at the local animal shelter as his summer job. He only got the job cause Rhaenyra said he needed to get out of the house. Plus Helaena also works there, so she helped him get hired.

Aemond would be a great bartender. Not with like actually interacting with customers, but he can make some great drinks. Like he's over here coming up with all these crazy cocktails. Although, like his tea obsession he keeps this on the low. He doesn't want Aegon asking him to make drinks all the time. Gods forbid he asks Aemond to bartend at one of the frat parties.

Helaena was a Monster High girl growing up.

Aemond has a motorcycle. It was his one rebellious purchase. Alicent hates it.

Luke can kick Aegon's ass in any game, video or otherwise. You name it, Call of Duty, UNO, Valorent, Go fish...

Rhaenyra has a bit of a sweet tooth, but she has to hide her candy stash, cause the boys will steal it in a heartbeat. Who would have thought Daemon would love lemon drops so much.

I really could go on forever, these are just too fun to write. But I'll leave it here for now lol.

[hippolotamus]

Tease Tidbit Tuesday/WIP Wednesday

Thanks for the Tuesday tags @elvensorceress @loserdiaz @spotsandsocks @hoodie-buck @weewootruck @wikiangela @giddyupbuck @daffi-990 @tizniz @diazsdimples Tagging you back for WIP Wednesday and looking forward to all your works 💖

So don't be mad, OK? I'm posting another snippet of this. (Under the cut because it got long) That being said, it's going to be the last one for a while until I finish some other stuff. Aaaand it's written in a POV I'm not sure I'm gonna keep. With that in mind... enjoy???? Also everybody who's into this thank James for forcingmaking me flesh out more details and @watchyourbuck for threatening me (with love ofc).

no pressure tagging (lmk if you want added or removed) @stereopticons @shortsighted-owl @eddiebabygirldiaz @disasterbuckdiaz @theotherbuckley @apothecarose @barbiediaz @buckaroosheart @buddierights @chaosandwolves @eowon @fortheloveofbuddie @gayedmundodiaz @giddyupbuck @heartshapedvows @honestlydarkprincess @indestructibleheart @jesuisici33 @ladydorian05 @lemonzestywrites @monsterrae1 @spaceprincessem @statueinthestone @steadfastsaturnsrings @the-likesofus @theplaceyoustillrememberdreaming @thewolvesof1998 @vanillahigh00 @watchyourbuck @wildlife4life @your-catfish-friend @epicbuddieficrecs @rmd-writes @welcometololaland @lizzie-bennetdarcy and anyone else who wants to 😘

Shit. This moment calls for a lot of different emotions, but that one is the most prominent. The glaring neon sign at the forefront of her brain as she registers the second pink line that’s becoming increasingly blurry. 

She brings a hand to her mouth, covering a silent exclamation. She wouldn’t have to. It’s not like there’s anybody around to hear. Just the secondhand furniture, personal items moved from her Mom’s place, and a few decorative things she bought to make the apartment more cozy. 

She sinks to the bed still clutching the plastic stick tightly between her fingers. Something about sitting there feels almost like she’s breaking the laws of a sacred space. Normally that would be right up her alley. Poking at the edges of societal norms just to see what she could get away with. But right now, perched on the edge of the mattress with a positive pregnancy test feels wrong. Even if it is the same place it happened. The place where her and Eddie first stumbled into something more than friendship together after too many drinks at the bar one night. Where they woke up the next morning and muddled through Did we just… and We could do it again. Where they kept landing until they had the guts to admit it was fun, but not what either of them really wanted. Because they both missed their best friend and enjoying each other without the expectations of romance. 

Not to mention the Evan of it all. Shannon had seen it coming from a mile away. From the first week her and Eddie met him at the Brass Bell and kept managing to run into him as he settled into town. 

A few people, one or two of her girlfriends included, whispered about Eddie and Evan getting together so quickly after the “breakup”. Some, thinking they were being supportive, came to her bitching about how rotten the situation was and that she deserved better. How dare he leave her for someone he barely knows? Honestly, it gave her a great deal of satisfaction watching them go pale when she casually mentioned she not only didn’t mind, but had pushed Eddie towards him. 

It was already obvious that her and Eddie weren’t heading for anything serious. And, as his self proclaimed platonic soulmate who knows him better than he knows himself, she felt it was only a matter of time anyway. Why delay the inevitable?

She looks at the two lines again. How is she going to tell him? He’s the happiest she’s seen him in a long time. Maybe ever. Without question, he’s going to feel that overwhelming sense of loyalty and responsibility. The same fiercely protective instinct he has for Sophia and Adriana. Shannon can already see him devoting himself to this– Fuck, she can’t even think the word to herself. But he’ll throw himself into caring for her and break Evan’s heart. She can’t let him do that. Not when she doesn’t even know if she wants to move forward with everything. 

Shannon sits up a little taller, wiping away the remaining dampness from her eyes and cheeks, and makes a decision. She walks the test to the closest trash can, ties up the mostly empty bag, and drops it down the building’s garbage chute. 

When she returns to her apartment, she navigates to the last picture Eddie texted of him and Evan. They look… blissful. Content. He and Evan have their arms wrapped around each other while Evan presses a kiss to Eddie’s cheek. His skin is flushed and rosy, making him look almost bashful. 

She can’t tell him. It’s as simple as that. Eddie hasn’t said anything, but he doesn’t have to. She knows that look. He’s in love. Even though it’ll be ages until he allows himself to admit it and say the words out loud, that doesn’t make it any less true. 

There’s still time, she thinks. Time for her to get a checkup, to gather facts, to evaluate what she wants to do. Time to let Eddie be in love and hope he forgives her for not saying anything.

[cowboydisaster]

The Fire In Your Eyes

part VIII: horseshoe overlook iv

pairing: Arthur Morgan x fem!reader

word count: 15.2k

summary: it's time for the train job, the biggest job you've ever done. You've got a bad feeling about it, and by the end you wish you would have listened to your gut.

a/n: Surprise! Early post! Thank you for your patience with this chapter! Yall know I always upload on Wednesday, but i was so sick that i couldn't write, and i had to go to the ER on tuesday night to get fluids. Anyway, this has been the scariest chapter to write ever. Don't kill me please and please don't give up on this series... love yall, don't yell at me and please trust me. This chapter was too long and got split into two parts: part two will be posted in three days time.

beta read by @margowritesthings

warnings: violence, death, minors dni, 18+

series extras

SERIES MASTERPOST

Arthur leaves long before you even wake up, heading back down to Blackwater to find Sean. It gives you a sick feeling in your stomach, but you trust he’ll be okay. Arthur is smart, and even though he's good at getting himself in sticky situations, he's equally good at getting out of them. It doesn't do much to help your worry, but it’s all you can cling to for right now.

You swirl your half empty cup of coffee in your hand, leaning down for the percolator to reheat it. The fire is warm, alongside the sun, and you find yourself grateful for the off the shoulder shirt you’d picked up a few days ago. It's the perfect temperature you think, tasting the bitter coffee. You're startled out of your thoughts by a weary presence.

“Penny for your thoughts, ma’am?” Kieran asks, walking passed to sit down opposite of you on a crate. He looks nervous, like he was afraid to come sit, and you feel sorry for it. Kieran seems like a nice man, just someone who was in the wrong place at the wrong time.

“Just thinkin’ about all that's goin’ on… I see they let you live, huh?” You chuckle, and Kieran nods, nervously. 

“Well Mr. Morgan convinced Dutch to let me stay, I thought maybe that was your doin.” Kieran says, and your eyebrow pings up in shock. 

“Did he now?” You hum, surprised by Arthur’s choice, “No, That was all Mr. Morgan. Well good for you, I just hope he won’t regret it.”

“Oh he won’t! I'm real good with horses, miss, worked in a stable most my life. I’m sure I can be of help with anything you folks need, especially in that regard. I can do anything, even latrines. I’ll earn my keep, miss, I will.” Kieran stutters and you nod, eyeing him over. 

“But speakin’ of horses… that palomino over there, the blue eyed one, is she yours?” Kieran asks, nodding towards Athena, who has her neck to the ground, tearing through the bale of hay there. You smile, watching as she pins her ears at Old Boy, keeping the hay for herself. 

“Yeah, she’s mine. Just got her since we’ve been here.” You smile, and Kieran takes note of her configuration. 

“She looks like a thoroughbred. Nice and tall, lean and muscular.” Kieran points out, and you hum at his accuracy. 

“She is.” You respond, eyeing whether or not Kieran has a motive or if he's just a lover of all things equine. You sip at your bitter coffee, letting him speak for himself.

“Y’know palomino thoroughbreds are of the rare sort, n’ with those blues? Well you got a real fine animal, miss.” Kieran says, doting over your mare. You smile, making a note to mention Kieran’s knowledge of horses to Arthur. Maybe that could be his designated contribution. At least he’d be doing something he enjoys instead of getting harassed and threatened by the gang all day. 

“Thank you.” You hum, drinking the rest of your coffee. 

"Well I reckon I better take my coffee and head back to shuckin' corn till they give me a better job. But it was real nice talkin' to you, miss. You're the first person who's treated me like a person rather than an animal since I've been here." Kieran smiles, filling up his cup with the percolator before nodding to you and heading back to Pearson's wagon. You frown, feeling sorry for him. You were lucky enough to have been found by Arthur, but it could have gone any other way. O'Driscolls could have found you first, and you could be in Kieran's shoes right now. 

Sighing, and taking your cup of coffee, you stand up and walk past Strauss's tent, ignoring his greeting. There's a little log sitting near the edge of the cliff behind his tent, and it's a perfect little spot to sit and think. Not wanting to be bothered, your eyes stay pinned on the log as you make your way towards it. The view is breathtaking, you can see everything from the Dakota River to the tops of the Grizzlies from the spot as you sit down, drinking in the warm air. It's a secluded little area, far enough from camp to get away from the arguments and bickering, but close enough for safety. You're enjoying your solitude, watching two bucks fight down below the cliff, they're antlers are stuck together as they rip and rug. It's an interesting sight, until it's interrupted by a throat clearing behind you. 

"John." You sigh, annoyed not with his presence but the fact that you know why he's here. 

"Nice to see you too." John chuckles, bringing his leg over the log to sit next to you with a cigarette between his lips.

“Gotta get some supplies for this train job, I could use an extra hand that ain't a dumbass.” John asks, leaning backwards to stretch. You sigh, not wanting to even think about the damn train job. But nonetheless, you nod. 

“Sure. What exactly is your plan for goin’ about it?” You ask, scooching towards John as he pinches the cigarette between his fingers, shaking it before tossing it on the ground. He pulls a map from his pocket, unfolds the heavily used paper, and holds it out for you to see. 

“Trains' comin’ from Riggs Station. It’s dropping off its security detail in The Heartlands, and after dark it’s heading down to Rhodes to pick up the next regiment.” He explains, tracing his finger over the paper from Riggs Station to Rhodes. 

“So it’ll be completely unguarded for this whole stretch of tracks?” You ask. It sounds too good to be true, but you know that John and Arthur have done this enough by now. They know how to get proper information. But the idea of the train job still makes your stomach flip with anxiety as you’ve never robbed anything as big as a train. 

“Well, not exactly. The security that they’re payin the big bucks for won’t be there, but we expect a few armed passengers, and some local boys guardin’ the train for extra cash. It won't be completely unguarded, but it sure as hell won’t be a militia like you’d expect.” 

You nod, taking the map from his hands gently, and looking it over. 

“Where do we board, n’ how are we boardin’ it?” You ask, and John places his index finger over a little area labeled Dewberry Creek, just past the Lemoyne/New Hanover stateline. 

“Here. We’ll have to stop the train, or it’ll take us right into town. I figure we get an oil wagon, ease it over the tracks. When that train comes through and sees that oil? It’ll stop just fine. We board her, encourage those rich bastards to give up their grammy’s pearls and we ride out.” John explains, tucking the map back into his pocket.

“Alright… seems like a solid plan.” You admit, ignoring your gut, “Where do we get a full oil wagon?” You ask, dusting some dirt off of your new jeans. 

“That’s where you come in. Only place I reckon we find one is the oil fields, out in The Heartlands, you know of it?”

You shake your head no, “Uh-uh.”

“Well it's well guarded for the most part, but most of those guys sleep or drink on the job. And they don’t get paid enough to give a damn. I’m heading over now to scout the place out, get an idea of the schedule. Thought maybe you could tag along, put that head to use instead of washin’ clothes for old Susan.”

You raise an eyebrow, unsure if he's just complimented you or insulted you, but still, you nod. 

“Alright. Let me pack some stuff, I’ll meet you by the horses.” 

John nods as you walk back towards your tent. With a sigh, you pull the canvas open. Your saddle bag is sitting on your bed, and you stuff it with some provisions and a change of clothes, then decide that you’ll need to grab some more ammo from Arthur's tent just in case. Once everything is all packed and settled, you swing your saddlebag over your shoulder and head back out. You stop around the back of Arthur’s wagon, picking up a few cases of express bullets and some throwing knives from the makeshift armory. 

“What does she want from him now? I never liked hearin' about her…” Marybeth hisses, and you look up, startled, realizing she is standing in Arthur’s tent. You’re peeking around the back of the wagon, eavesdropping as Marybeth places a crisp white envelope on Arthur’s bedside table.

“I always thought Mary was nice…” Tilly responds, picking up the envelope and looking it over before returning it. 

“Nice like a patch of poison ivy.” Marybeth bites, and Tilly rolls her eyes. 

“You didn’t even know her. Not when she was really around, anyway. She was always kind, just… didn’t agree with our life. Can you blame her?” Tilly sighs, and they walk out of the tent together. 

Your eyebrows pull together, and you walk around the outside of his tent until you're at the entrance. You hum, looking at the envelope before striding through his tent towards it. It’s upside down on his table, and you know you shouldn’t be snooping through his mail, but you pick it up and flip it over regardless. Written in sloppy cursive is ‘Arthur’ and you look after the lettering for a while. The paper is fancy, the kind that is expensive and only available in the city. Your finger trails over the lettering, and it itches to tear the red seal off and read the contents, but you restrain yourself. You know if the roles were reversed Arthur would respect your privacy. Sighing, you place the envelope back and meet John by the horses, wondering who Mary might be the whole way over. John is just climbing into the saddle when you approach. 

“Ready to go?” He asks, settling himself down over Old Boy and checking the straps on his saddlebag.

“Sure.” You mumble, mounting up onto Athena and giving her a nice pat. Once you’re settled, the two of you start cantering out of the trails, nodding to Karen who is keeping watch. Instead of riding towards Valentine, John leads you out towards the Heartlands, into unfamiliar territory for you. You can’t help but think about those men, Milton and Ross, and wonder why in the hell you’re all robbing a train right now.

“Why does Dutch keep pushin’ this job?” You holler up, squeezing Athena to run faster after John.  

“I got no idea.” He yells back to you. Once you run over the tracks the terrain changes from grass to dry, sandy dirt, and you try to keep Athena on the trail to avoid getting any rocks lodged in her shoes. 

“It don’t make sense, we should be leavin. Now I don't want to, not at all, but there was Pinkertons right next to our camp, just a stone's throw away.” You shake your head, unbelieving of Dutch’s terrible call. 

“Do you think they know where we are?” John asks, turning in his saddle a bit as he gallops on. 

“No. No if they knew where we are they would have just came to camp… But still, approachin’ us like that when we had Jack with us? Tellin’ us, in front of him, what happened to Mac? They can all go to hell.” You hiss, and John goes quiet for a minute. All you can hear is hooves pounding as you wait for his response. 

“You and Arthur had Jack?” John asks, like he's angry, but mostly surprised. Your eyebrows draw together, unsure of why it’s a big deal.

“Well, yeah. Abigail asked us to watch him for a bit, just to cheer him up.” You respond as he leads you up the bank towards Citadel Rock. John huffs loudly, rolling his eyes and shaking his head as if he disapproves.

“You got a problem with that?” You bite, noticing the tension in his shoulders, and his quiet, aggressive demeanor.

“She acts like I ain’t there… for her or the boy.” John hisses, shaking his head. It grows quiet again as you think back to Abigail’s pleading tears, begging you to take Jack because John wouldn't.

“Are you?” You ask, with some judgment. John really thinks about your question, slowing Old Boy to a trot as he comes up near the slope of Citadel Rock. He left them, but he came back, that counts for something in his eyes. Surely, it counts in Abigail’s eyes too…. 

“Well yeah!” John says defensively, “Im tryin’... tryin’ to get money for them at least, so she can raise the boy up proper.” John says, stopping his stallion at the edge of the cliff, overlooking The Heartlands. You pull Athena up alongside him, stopping so you can look him in the eyes. 

“Money don’t matter if you ain’t there for ‘em.” You whisper, no harshness or judgment in your eyes, although he takes it with such, pulling back and scrunching up his face in anger. 

“The hells that supposed to mean?” He bites, dropping his reins and throwing an arm in the air towards you. You keep your calm demeanor, only wanting to help the little family. You have no quarrels against John or his parenting, but you’re the one in camp watching Abigail comfort a crying Jack when his daddy isn't there to tuck him in night after night.

“It’s just…” You think over your words, tongue darting out over your lips, “Your boys' real upset, he misses ya John. Abigail won't admit it but she misses you too.” Your wrist rests on the horn of your saddle, toying with the leather reins as you watch John’s face soften. He sighs, eyes downcast as he runs his hand over his face, careful not to catch the healing stitches on his right side.

“You think?” He asks, looking up to you, and you nod your head up and down, sure.

“I don't know what I’m doin’ Star.” John sighs, doubting himself. It’s not that he doesn’t want to be there for Jack and Abigail, he doesn't know how to. He doesn't see himself cut out to be a father or a husband, and he has a hard time believing his family wants him around. 

“None of us do,” You huff a laugh, thinking of your own situation with Arthur, “You just gotta try your best to do right by them.” 

John nods, offering you a small, sad smile as he leans over to tap your knee in thanks. Without another word, but with a mutual understanding, you both dismount your horses. Then it’s time to get down to work. John takes both the horses, and he hitches them down the bank a ways so they can’t be seen from the roads or the fields. As he takes them away, you pull out your binoculars. Crouching, you look through the glass and take in the infamous Heartland Oil Fields. There is one big building, the factory, on the left side of the tracks that run straight through the place. On the right are smaller buildings, you’re presuming bunks, outhouses and storage rooms. The entire place is fenced in, except for where the tracks run through and the main entrance, guarded by two armed men. You search for an oil wagon, and find a few but you’re not sure which are empty or full. Armed guards stand all around the place, and there is a damn moat of oil ponds on the right perimeter. You pull the binoculars down, hearing John return as he walks up beside you. He too is eyeing the factory, face drawn up as he thinks over a plan. 

“How do you reckon we go about this?” You ask, handing him over the binoculars. He takes them, and does the same look around that you’ve just had. 

“We stay here and figure out their routine. They have a checkpoint at the front gate, so if we watch them long enough we’ll know which wagons are full and when. Then we slip in at night, once the workers have gone home. We’ll only have to get past the guards.” John explains and you sigh, nodding. You look up at the sun, holding your fingers up to the horizon. It’s nearly 4PM, you’re gonna be here for a while.

“Why don’t you make us a fire or somethin? And grab my bedroll too. This is uncomfortable as hell.” You ask of him as you plop down on the dirt, taking the first watch. 

— — — — 

“Star?” John mumbles, and you groan, eyelashes fluttering. You curl your knees in tighter until John shakes your shoulder.

“Star, get up. It’s time to go.” John says, and those four words alone pull you from your slumber, it's time to go.

In the past six hours you and John had traded shifts a handful of times, and both picked up the same pattern. A wagon is filled every hour on the hour, and then left for only ten minutes while the guards do their rounds. Once the ten minutes are up, the wagon is taken out the front gate by a heavily armed detail, and sent off. You had suggested earlier that it might be easier to steal the wagon after it leaves the oil fields, but John had said the risk of the oil wagon getting shot would be too high. So you stick with the original plan, leaving you only ten minutes to sneak into the place and sneak out with the wagon. It’ll be hard, but it’s your only option. 

“They just started their rounds, hurry up.” John explains as you scramble to your feet. You notice he has the camp taken down already, and the fire is nothing but smoking ashes as you quickly roll up your bedroll. Quietly whistling for Athena, you wait for her to arrive before strapping down your bedroll and jumping onto her back. The ten minute countdown has already begun as you and John gallop down the hill. 

“Which way do we go in?” You ask, running after John towards the right flank of the fenced oil fields. 

“We're gonna come up on the right side, ditch the horses a ways out, and jump the fence. Wagon should be sitting right there. Then we just drive it right out the front gate.” John hollers back, slowing Old Boy down once you can see the fence. Coyotes yip and howl in The Heartlands, making the night even more eerie as you approach the factory. With the dark and the distance, none of the guards can see your horses as you both dismount and break for the fence. You shoo both horses, signaling them to flee. And then you're running, keeping your breaths controlled and steady as you watch out for any straggling guards. John reaches the fence before you do. It’s not very high and he easily jumps over it. 

“C’mon!” John whispers as you throw yourself over the fence, landing painfully on your ankle with a wince. He grabs your elbow, pulling you along with him. Once you're inside, you take a look around to get your bearings. You see a few swinging lanterns in the distance, all guards on watch, but none of them look in your direction. Most of the lanterns near the bunk houses have been snuffed out for the night, leaving you to the shadows. You turn in the other direction and see exactly what you're looking for.

“Right there!” You whisper, pointing ahead to the wagon. It’s pulled in front of one of the tents, and John helps you run towards it. Two white shire horses are hooked up to the wagon, and you’re glad to see that they’re strong and agile. 

“Go on, get up there. I’ll drive.” John says, hushed as he breaks away from you to get on the left side of the wagon. You’re not sure how much time you have, but surely it’s not much. Your heart pumps loudly in your ears as you climb up the side of the wagon, ignoring the slight pain in your ankle. John clambers up, and just as he reaches the bench seat you hear a low, deep growl. You snap your head around to catch the source and the blood runs from your face at the sight of a massive bloodhound. A guard dog. His jaw snaps as he snarls at you with a warning. 

“John…?” You whisper, so quietly that he barely hears. He turns and sees the dog, and his eyes flicker from it to the guards walking on the other side of the factory. The dog's hackles are raised as it snarls, showing its teeth. You know that if it barks, or alerts the guards in any way, you’ll both be caught. John shushes it and slowly starts to roll the wagon away, quietly cueing the horses onward. The dog snarls again, snapping its jaws as you quietly ride the wagon away. 

“What do we do? What if it alerts someone?” You whisper, heart racing. If the dog alerts a single guard, you’ll have every person in the facility shooting at you. 

“I don’t know, drive like hell, I guess.” John offers as you watch the dog. John has the horses going at a nice trot towards the entrance, and sweat runs down your brow as the dog runs after the wagon. You’re just about to breach the front gate when it happens- when the bloodhound does what bloodhounds do. It bays, and it bays loud. 

"What is it boy? What ya find?" Someone hollers, and a lantern flicks on in one of the tents. John flicks the reins over the horse's backs harshly and they pick up a canter towards the front gate. 

“Shit!" You hiss as the dog continues, head tossed up in the air as guards start to come out and find the disturbance. One man comes out from a tent, still in pajamas with a rifle in hand. Your eyes widen as he stares directly at you. 

“Right there! They’re takin’ a wagon!” The barely clothed man yells, and John curses as he smacks the horses with the reins again, and they take off. More guards and workers seem to come out and see you all escaping, and everyone readies their rifles. John steers the horses out the main gate just as bullets start to whiz past your head. 

“Stop them!” Another guard calls out, “Get the damn law!” 

Bullets ping against the wooden wheels of the wagon, and buzz through the air past your head. You lean your head down to protect yourself as you grab your carbine from around your shoulder, good thing you grabbed those bullets. 

“Shoot somethin’!” John yells, maneuvering the horses along the roads in the direction of Dewberry Creek. 

“Im tryin!” You yell back, loading your carbine before popping up and taking down two guards who were shooting from behind the fence. A few bullets ping against the side of the wagon, and you gasp, realizing how quickly it could go up in flames. You pop up from the bench again, and fire into the chests of three men who were running after the wagon.

“Watch the damn oil, you morons!” One of the guards yells to his men. You shoot down three more men before you have to reload again. John is getting you further from the oil fields, and the flashing of gunfire gets farther away until two riders come out after the wagon. You’re still filling up the magazine when they ride up on you, and John ducks, yelling something. A few more bullets whiz passed before you stand up and shoot both men down from their horses. You pant, ducking as three more riders gallop after you both. John has the horses running at a dizzying pace as you stand, taking down two men. You're extra careful not to shoot or hurt the rider's horses as you come up and shoot the last man. 

“Is that the last of them?” John yells as you pant, wiping sweat from your brow and slumping back into your seat. 

“Yeah, that's all.” You breathe heavily, tossing your carbine strap back over your shoulder. You whistle, and turn around to watch for Athena. John does the same, and luckily after a few minutes, both come running behind the wagon. 

“Where we takin’ this again? I know you said the creek, but specifically?” You ask, taking your hat off and setting it in your lap to untie your braid. You pull the cloth tie out, running your fingers through the waves that are now down your back. 

“We’re droppin’ it near this torn down house. I’ll leave the horses go and we'll come back for it when the train comes through.” John explains, and you nod. 

It’s a bit of a ride, especially with the pace you go at. The horses are exhausted and scared from the shootout, so John doesn’t push them past a trot. It's nice to just relax in the passenger seat, and you focus on the humming of bugs and frogs while your heartbeat settles. It's a cloudy night, the kind where a cold fog settles over the place, but you don't mind. It's still beautiful. The moon pokes through the fog in a hazy glow, offering some light for John to lead you to Dewberry Creek. He winds the wagons down the open hills until you reach a small trail along a big dried up creek bed. 

"Guess the creek ain't fairin' so well." You point out, watching as coyotes yip and run through the dried up creek. 

"Guess not." John offers, pulling the wagons toward a structure. It looks like a little house that burned down. The foundation is intact, along with the fireplace and support beams, but the rest has burned away. 

"We pull them off right here." John says, turning the horses to walk in between the house and a patch of trees. He starts to slow them down, and you hop from the wagon before it stops. Immediately you jog around the backside to check the cargo. 

"Shit, John! Shit!" You hiss, taking in the oil wagon that is riddled with random bullet holes. There's about five or six, and no more oil leaks from them. You knock on the side of the wagon as John jumps down, groaning when the wagon sounds hollow. 

"All the oils' gone." You sigh, rubbing your face as John paces around the backside of the wagon. Athena grows antsy from the upset, and she stomps and rears lightly. 

"Now what the hell do we do?" You ask angrily, calling Athena over to comfort her. You hand her an oatcake to munch on and stroke her neck as John comes up with a plan. Athena's gentle nickers calm you down, and you take a deep breath as she leans into your hand. John is standing back from the wagon, hands on his hips as he thinks it over.

"It'll work just the same. The conductor won't know if it's full or not." John says, biting his cheek and you sigh. 

"We can't just go get another one." John huffs, "That oil factory is on high alert now." 

"You're sure it'll work?" You ask, stepping towards him with raised eyebrows.

"It'll work." He reassures you. You nod, sighing and waking towards the front of the wagon where the two white shire horses are hooked up. John does the same on the other side, and you both slice the leather harness straps, freeing the horses. 

"When's it comin' through?" You ask, patting the shire horse to run off. 

"Tomorrow night." John says, and your stomach aches at the thought. Only twenty four hours until your first train job. 

Athena and Old Boy are grazing next to each other just a short walk away from the wagon, and you and John silently walk towards them, sheathing your knives and watching as the pair of white shire horses run up over the hill, bucking and whinnying.

"You ever rob a train before?" John asks, looking over at your anxious expression. You shake your head, coming up to Athena. 

"No, afraid not. Just drunken idiots usually." You chuckle, and John smiles. 

"Y'know I'm glad it was Arthur's watch you stole, and not mine back in Tumbleweed. I probably never would have noticed, and you'd still be runnin' all over hell in the west." John chuckles, and you smile at the memory, mounting onto Athena. 

"Still can't believe he brought ya back like he did, but I'm glad for it." John says, climbing onto his stallion. Your eyebrows pull together lightly at his remark.

"Why's that?" You ask, cueing Athena into a canter with John behind you.

"Arthur, he ain't never brought someone back to camp before you, and he throws a big fuss when someone new comes in. He gets all pissed and leaves for a few days. He says it's 'easier to lie low with less people.' Musta seen somethin' in you, though." John hollers up to you, and your features soften. You wonder why Arthur chose differently for you, why he brought you back to camp. 

"He's different with you." John says, galloping alongside you, and you have to push Athena further ahead to hide the blush on your cheeks. You want to quip something back, but you come up short because you know he's right. You've heard the same testament from each of the girls, Hosea, and Arthur himself. 

It grows quiet as you gallop through The Heartlands, avoiding the roads and any lingering lawmen. It's late, near midnight when you finally get close to camp. You can hear the cheers and laughter from the road, and you smile back at John.

"Guess they found him." You chuckle, trotting Athena under the fallen tree into camp. When you breach the trees, coming into the little opening, the sight has you laughing. Camp is lighter than it's been in a while. Sean is standing on a crate giving some grand speech with everyone gathered around, and by the sound of it he's already drunk. You hitch Athena, and John nudges your elbow. 

"Reckon I'm gonna go be with my family. Thanks for your help." John pats your back before walking off towards the camp. You smile, taking off the straps of Athena's saddle and placing it over the hitching post before walking towards the crowd.

"Get a load of this bastard." Arthur huffs, walking up beside you with two whiskeys in hand, gesturing to Sean. He hands you a drink, and you smile, glad to be home. 

"Found him strung up in a damn tree surrounded by bounty hunters." 

"A-and I owe my life to old English over 'tere!" Sean points to Arthur, "Yep, 'tats right! Old grumpy Arthur Morgan! Come to save me, ya did! You're my brother, ya arsehole!" Sean laughs heartily, jumping down from the crate and approaching the two of you. 

"Miss!" Sean calls out to you, and Arthur chuckles, sipping his drink. Sean comes to you with a big toothless grin, a contagious one, and wraps you in a hug.

"Ah, I've already got the gossip from Ms. Jones, callin ya Star now, eh?" Sean asks, letting you go before nudging you with his elbow, "It's fittin! Y'know they say you twose are tied together like glue!" Sean winks at you lightly, nudging you and gesturing to Arthur. 

"I know a couple good spots for a shag if you two need a getaway. N' I know an Irishman if you get tired a' this ol'-" Sean starts, pointing to Arthur, but Arthur has had enough.

"Would you please shut up?" Arthur bites, hand pulling away from the bridge of his nose as you giggle. Sean puts his hands up in mock surrender. 

"I was just teasin'! Only pullin' yer leg!" Sean chuckles, tipping his hat to you before backing away and rejoining the crowd. 

"I did not miss that kid." Arthur sighs, leading you towards the campfire where Javier sits, playing a tune. Everyone is in good spirits, especially as Hosea enters with Dutch and two huge, full cases of alcohol, announcing the return party. 

"Yes you did." You tell Arthur, smirking as he sits down on the wolf pelt covered log. You sit down right next to him, closer than what's expected, but you're growing used to the proximity, finding comfort in it even. Sean is talking loudly to the girls as everyone gathers around the crates of hooch. The bottles pass around quickly as Javier picks up a new tune. It's one that everyone knows, and you smile. 

"Cielito Lindo." You remark with a chuckle as Javier picks up the rhythm on his guitar. More people gather around the fire. Dutch, John, the girls, Uncle, Lenny, even Abigail and Jack join in as Javier starts to play. Jack sits on John's lap, nestled right next to Abigail, and you smile at them. 

"¡Ay, ay, ay, ay! ¡Canta y no llores!" Everyone hollers out, not sure of the lyrics or their meaning, but enjoying the energetic song. Even Arthur sings along, and you giggle at his steadily behind, off key tune. 

"¡Porque cantando se alegran, Cielito lindo, los corazones!" Javier sings out, passionately stringing the guitar as a few people clap along and laugh. The smile on your face is brighter than it's been in a while as you watch the weight lift off of the gang's shoulders. Arthur is smiling, and for that you are very grateful. You'd do anything to see him like this more often, carefree and happy. Javier continues the song verse, and everyone claps along until the chorus comes. 

"¡Ay, ay, ay, ay! ¡Canta y no llores!" Everyone calls out again, and you hold your drink up a little as you sing it. Javier continues the song, and you chuckle as Jack pulls Abigail up from her seat to dance with him. He spins around and hops with very little rhythm, just having fun. Arthur chuckles beside you, eyes bright as they lay upon the same scene. 

"You want another drink?" Arthur asks, noticing that your first is nearly gone. You shake your head. 

"No thanks, think I'm cuttin' myself off for the night." You say, handing the bottle over for him to finish. 

"I'm surprised you drank at all after that mess in Valentine." Arthur chuckles as Javier sings out the song's verse. 

"I only had one. Don't plan on bein' that sick ever again, and we got one hell of a job to do tomorrow." You whisper, mind lingering on the train job. You'd like to drink, just to forget about it, but heading into it with a foggy mind is the opposite of what you need. Arthur sighs, digging the heel of his boot into the dirt. 

"We do." He remarks, eyes flickering up to Dutch. Arthur can't understand why Dutch is pushing this job right now with the Pinkertons so close. But he trusts Dutch, and knows he'll lead them out of it. You're not so sure. Dutch is watching you from across camp, a snake-like glint in his eye. You can see the way he wants to use you, to play you like his chess piece and defeat some great power. It's useless, it's ridiculous. An outlaw runs from the law, but Dutch is challenging it, intentionally aggravating it. It's a dangerous game. 

"I got a bad feeling about this job, Arthur." You bring up that gut feeling again, and you know you're right. You don't trust this job, and something is going to go wrong. 

"I know you do… You and John get that wagon today?" Arthur asks as Javier picks up a different song on his guitar. 

"We got the wagon just fine, but it's empty. We were caught red handed and they shot it to hell, all the oil leaked out." You sigh, embarrassed to admit the failure to Arthur, "John says it'll work just fine though, the conductor won't know if it's empty or not." You add as Arthur curses. 

"Enough about that, why don't we just enjoy the party?" You ask, wanting to talk about anything other than the train job and the damn empty wagon. Arthur taps your knee with his knuckles. 

"Sure." He says, offering you a small smile and you release a breath. Javier is playing a new song now, one you don't recognize, but it's a joyful tune, light and happy. 

"Arthur!" Marybeth calls from across the fire, giggling and trodding over towards you both with a big, bright smile. 

"Yes, Miss Gaskill?" Arthur asks as Marybeth comes forward and grabs one of his hands. 

"Dance with me?" She asks, leaning back in an attempt to pull him from his seat. He chuckles, looking over to you for a moment with a rosy blush on his cheeks.

"Oh, I think I'll sit this one out-" Arthur starts, but you shove him upwards by his shoulder, laughing. 

"Go on!" You encourage, shooing them with your hands. Marybeth giggles as she pulls Arthur away, and he turns around to shoot you a glare, with pink cheeks. You chuckle, looking after them as she takes him away from the fire. She pulls him just near the back of Dutch's tent, beside the poker table. He takes her hand, standing awkwardly far from her as the other rests on her waist. You can't help but snort as he starts to dance.

He's awful. Truly the man can't dance, but it's just another quirk that you love about him. He swings side to side with her, arms loosely flinging about, and even though it looks ridiculous they both have huge smiles. A few others have joined, and now Dutch spins Molly around eloquently, and Karen and Sean cling to each other, drunk as ever. Your eyebrows pop up in surprise at the two of them. You had only seen Sean in passing before Blackwater, but Karen had never mentioned they were together. 

Your eyes flicker back to Arthur and Marybeth. They still dance merrily, but Marybeth seems to be scolding Arthur over something, arguing with him. Your eyebrows pull together as he huffs, bickering with her like a sibling would. Javier's song crescendos to an end, and as the claps die down, he starts a new one. You recognize it immediately, Ángel de Amor. It's a slower paced song, a sweet and romantic one. People join their own conversations as the song begins, leaving Javier to quietly carry the tune on his own. As it begins, Marybeth and Arthur's argument seems to come to a head as Marybeth gives him one final scold, and then walks away from him with a big smile. Confused, your eyebrows pull together as Arthur returns to you, but he doesn't sit down. He stands in front of you, extending his right hand down to yours. 

"Dance wit' me?" He asks, and you chuckle. 

"I don't know, you gonna trip me?" You ask, smiling up at him. The nervousness breaks away as he chuckles. 

"Not tonight." He says, and you take his hand, letting him pull you to your feet. 

"C'mon." He whispers, leading you past the campfire towards the front of his tent, far enough away from the campfire for some privacy.

Arthur pulls you into the same goofy dance as he did with Marybeth, and you smile brightly. Arthur's sure that your smile could outshine the stars, evoking that joy from you is one of the better things he's done in his life, something he wants to keep doing. 

"¿Quién te cortó las alas, mi ángel? ¿Quién te arranco los sueños hoy?" Javier sings softly as Arthur dances with you. 

"Y'know, I'm sorry to say this Arthur, but you can't dance for shit." You chuckle, glancing down at his feet that move with very little rhythm. 

"Oh I can. I'm just havin' fun. You shoulda seen me in my ballroom days." Arthur quips, and you laugh. You're sure he's joking, how Arthur could willingly be put in a ballroom is beyond you, it's surely a joke. Arthur raises an eyebrow at your laugh, wondering if you're seriously doubting him.

"You weren't never in a ballr-" You start, but are cut off with your own gasp as Arthur pulls you tightly against him. His hand snakes to your waist, his other clasps your hand tightly as he stands up straight and tall with a raised eyebrow. His body is stiff, but relaxed all the like, he's collected in his movements, experienced, as he leans you down, dipping you. Your eyes are wide in shock, as he holds you in the dip with a cocky smirk. Your heart rate pounds with him pulled so tightly against you, your neck exposed and hair cascading down as he bends you backwards. Then he brings you back up, chuckling. 

"You continue to surprise me more and more every day, Arthur." You chuckle, still in disbelief, "Where in the hell did you learn that?" You ask, heart beat returning to normal as he pulls you against him again, swaying you in a very simple slow dance. 

"Had to take lessons once when I was younger. Didn't care for it at all, but I was an idiot back then." Arthur says, and you hum, wondering if these fancy dancing lessons have anything to do with the letter in his tent.

"Ángel, Ángel, ángel de amor. No te abandones." Javier continues the song as Arthur pulls you a little closer to him, hand warm on your waist.

Your cheeks flush, hidden away in his chest as Arthur sways with you on the grass. A few eyes linger on you both, but Arthur turns your back to them so you never know. He's enjoying the moment. You haven't left yet, haven't walked away with blushed cheeks or made an excuse as to why you can't dance with him, and that has to count for something he's sure.

 It grows quiet between the two of you as you rest your head against his shoulder and sway with him. Soon your arm grows tired, so Arthur snakes both of his around your waist and you place yours on his chest. It's incredibly vulnerable for you to be like this, but you trust Arthur. He hasn't pushed you. Abigail nudges John across the camp, nodding her head to you, and a few more eyes linger on you both. Arthur ignores them, keeping you in a position so that you can't even see the nosey stares. 

"You look beautiful." Arthur whispers, eyes looking down at you, watching as the wind tousles your hair and your dark red shirt brings out your complexion beautifully. Your eyes sparkle up at him, but you blush and hide them away in his shoulder as he sways you to the music.

"Arthur, stop." You chastise, cheeks red as you hide them. You're a bit upset that he's ruined the mood, taken your mind from simple dancing to the conundrum of your heart. He hums deeply, nodding his head. 

"You ain't ready yet, I know… I'll wait 'til you are. For you, I will." Arthur whispers, and tears begin to pool in your eyes, "And if you decide you don't want any a' this, that's okay too. I'm still your best friend." Arthur whispers, and tears run down your face silently, soaking into his dark shirt. 

"I'll dance with you for real one day, somewhere nice." Arthur whispers, and you look up to his green eyes. They soften when they see the tears falling from your own. You're thinking of a proper response when Arthur speaks up for you. 

"S'okay. You don't gotta say anything." Arthur whispers, thumb wiping away the tears from your cheek. You sniffle, hands clinging to the lapels of his shirt as the music continues on for a bit longer. 

"Yo no siento el que me hayas querido. Yo no siento el que me hayas amado." Javier sings, strumming his guitar. 

Arthur's heart aches, holding you like this, swaying with you and knowing you won't allow yourself to open up. He places his chin atop your head, inhaling deeply before letting the breath go with his worries. You're here now, that's all he can ask for.

Your heart aches just the same. It's torn in two,  both sides fighting for different things. One is fighting for what you know: independence, freedom, and solitude in the west without being held down by a gang. And the other is fighting for what you want: family and friendships, the safety of numbers, purpose and most of all him. 

You sigh, squeezing your eyes shut while blocking the thoughts out, letting yourself enjoy the moment. 

"I'm sorry, Arthur." You whisper, and he leans back, unsure if he's heard you right. 

"What on earth are you apologizin' for?" He asks as Javier's song comes to a bittersweet end. 

"Me… us." You whisper, gesturing to him and yourself. You're a mess, unable to get your feelings in order, unable to figure out what you want, and to tell him. You feel awful, dragging him along without ever fully opening up to him but it's so hard. 

Arthur takes your hands in his own, and you look up to his eyes. 

"Cut that out. Don't you apologize to me, ya hear? Not for this." Arthur says, no room for argument and you nod. 

"Now c'mon. Plenty of people waitin' for us at the fire." Arthur says, pulling you by the hand towards the camp. You pass by John's tent, feeling a little better.

With a small smile on your lips, you walk on with him. That is until you hear a shuffling from John's tent, and a groan. You stop dead in your tracks, looking up to where John and Abigail sit next to Jack by the fire. If they're at the campfire… who's in their tent?

"C'mere ya little minx!" Sean chuckles from inside the tent. Your jaw drops, and your hand falls slack from Arthur's. He turns at your reaction, catching the same scene. 

"Isn't this John's tent?" Karen asks, and you hear the ripping of buttons immediately. You look at Arthur with wide eyes, and a slack jaw, chuckling in horror.

"Eh, it's not like he's usin' it anyways!" Fabric hits the floor as you and Arthur stare at the closed tent in shock, "Ah, you're beautiful Karen Jones, beautiful, I love ya! And I love these too!" Sean chuckles and your cheeks burn red.

"Oh." Karen whispers, disappointed in something as you start to laugh. 

"Meet Macguire junior!" Sean hollers, and immediately Arthur clasps his hand over your mouth to quiet the loud laughter that was about to fall from it. 

"Is- is that it?" Karen asks, and you're nearly wheezing as Arthur keeps his hand over your mouth, chuckling himself until you're out of earshot from their tent. 

"Oh my god." You laugh until tears form in your eyes, and Arthur is laughing as well. You've managed to escape in front of Arthur's tent to avoid the show those two are putting on. Once your laughter dies down, you wipe your eyes, moving them to the campfire once more. 

Abigail has taken Jack into her lean-to next to Strauss's wagon to lie down for the night, and some of the girls along with Dutch and Molly have retired for bed. 

"You comin' back to the fire?" Arthur asks, following your gaze. You look up to him, then to the festivities, biting your cheek. 

"I think I'm gonna go to bed, actually." You whisper, feeling bad for bailing so soon. You're exhausted from the oil wagon today, and you want to be well rested for tomorrow. Arthur’s face falls a bit as he glances at the party behind him, then to his pocket watch. 

"So soon?" Arthur asks, looking a little disappointed. 

"I'm sorry Arthur, it's just with the train tomorrow… I want to be well rested with a clear head." You whisper. 

"I understand." He whispers, it's past one in the morning, and he knows you're tired, "I reckon I'll stay up for a bit yet, keep these boys in line… Get some sleep, Star." Arthur whispers, coming forward to gently chastise you, tapping your temple, "and stop worryin' about the train. It'll go just fine." He offers with a smile before backing away. 

"Night Arthur." You mumble, attempting to follow his instructions and release your anxieties. 

"G'night, Star."

— — — — 

The next morning, you wake up earlier than expected. You don't know what time it is, still haven't replaced Arthur's pocket watch from where it was left behind in Blackwater. But it's quiet enough for you to know that no one else is up. You stretch in bed, enjoying the feel as your achy joints pop. You flex your ankle, noticing that the ache has subsided from your less than stellar landing yesterday, and then you're getting up.

You pull on a dark green overshirt, one of your favorites, a black pair of jeans that button up the whole way, and a little white neckerchief, tied in the front. It's a cute outfit, and you hum, checking yourself over before re braiding your hair and topping it with your black hat. Then you're on the move, in search of some coffee. 

You find that you were wrong, you're not the only one up. You chuckle as Jack whizzes up to you, more excited than you've ever seen. 

"Aunt Star!" He jumps excitedly, taking your hand and pointing to the hitching posts, "look!" He shouts, giggling. 

Your eyebrows knit together at the sight of Kieran taking on the role of the camp farrier. He has a very grumpy Balius with him, and he's working on pulling the nails from the shire's massive shoe. 

"Kieren's shoin' the horses…? You ask, confused as to why Jack's so excited, then a chuckle sounds out from your right. Arthur is leaning over his shaving station, face partially covered in shaving cream as he trims his mustache and beard with a barber's blade. You smile at the sight, something you've not seen him do before. Of course he shaves with an incredible amount of detail and care, just like everything else he does. 

"Well…" Arthur taps the blade against his pail of water before returning it to his cheek, "when Kieran's done, little Jack here will have four new shoes for playin' horseshoes' with everyone. We haven't been able to play in a long while, not since before you joined us." Arthur explains, and you smile at the idea. 

"Well then I can't wait!" You say, rubbing some dirt off of Jack's cheek before he runs off, on his way to tell his very hungover daddy about the ordeal. 

"You're good with him. He really seems to care about you." Arthur remarks and you smile. 

"Ah, it's nothin'. He's a good kid." You mumble, remembering your earlier task of needing coffee, and you spot the percolator from across camp near Pearson's stew pot. You wonder if it's even full, with so few of the gang members awake. 

"I'm gonna go make some coffee, want some?" You ask, but Arthur stops you.

"Already made ya some. It's sittin on my table, should still be hot." He says, wiping the extra cream from his face with a damp towel.

"On the ball this morning, are we?" You ask, chuckling as you move inside his tent to find a steaming tin cup of coffee. You gratefully accept the bitter coffee, enjoying the way the cup warms your hands and the caffeine wakes your mind. 

"Well I need a favor." He asks, turning towards you, "Ride with me?" 

You raise an eyebrow at him, seeing that he's bribed you, but you nod anyway. 

"Sure, where to?" You ask as he comes around the side of his tent, leading you to the large map plastered to the side of his wagon. 

"Think right here is a good spot." He taps the map right over a little marshy field labeled Heartland Overflow.  

"Why are we goin' all the way out there?" You ask, eyeing over the map. The marsh is near a spot marked Emerald Ranch, a place you haven't heard of before. 

"There's a feller nearby that runs a fence. I managed to steal some stuff from the camp where they had Sean, reckon I'll head down and sell it off. Then I figure me n' you can spend the mornin' there. I know you're worried about this train, we can just rest away from camp till it's time." Arthur explains, pulling out his hunting knife to sharpen the blade as he does. 

"Okay, that sounds nice." You smile, releasing a breath before taking a sip from your coffee, "Should I take my stuff for the train or will we be back?" You ask, gesturing to your tent. 

He follows your gaze, thinking for a moment. 

"Ya better take it, I don't know how long we'll be out." He mumbles, and you nod before walking back towards your tent. Amidst your anxieties, you had packed everything you might need for the train: your guns, mask, canned goods in case you get stuck away from camp, extra ammo and the shotgun you'd found at Six Point cabin. Looking over your bed and nightstand just to make sure you haven't missed something, you back out of the tent. 

"Kieran done with Balius?" You ask, keeping your voice quiet as to not wake up the many sleeping, hungover gang members. 

"Looks to be just about." Arthur says, nodding to where Kieran drops Balius's back hoof to the ground, giving him a pat. 

"C'mon then. I'll lead the way." He adds. 

You both take your time tacking up the horses. For once, there's no rush to be anywhere. You brush Athena's golden coat thoroughly, petting her and sneaking her treats while Arthur does the same for his stallion. You ease the saddle on her, tightening the cinches just enough before mounting up. 

"Ready?" You ask, looking down to Arthur with a chuckle as he is just putting Balius's bridle on.

"Just a minute." He says, rather grumpily. And you wait for him, loosening your reins so that Athena can graze while he clambers up onto his massive horse. Once he's up, he nods for you to follow him out of camp. It's a decently long ride. Emerald Ranch is pretty far out there, but it's close to Dewberry Creek, so at least you won't be far from the train come dark. You focus on the scenery, watching the way the landscape changes the further you ride on. As you get closer, the jutting cliffs turn to grassy plains, and bison cause the ground to shake as they thunder across the fields. 

"Are we close?" You holler up to Arthur. Your back is a little sore from the long ride, and you slip your feet out of the stirrups to give your legs rest. 

"Sure…  Why? You feelin alright?" Arthur turns in his saddle, glancing over your form to check. Really you don't feel alright. You didn't sleep much last night, truthfully you're not sure how Arthur is awake because he slept less than you. You're still not able to shake your nerves either. 

"Yeah, just tired is all." You semi lie, but Arthur isn't fooled. 

"I'll take you to the Overflow first. You can set us up a proper picnic while I run this stuff down to the fence. Sound good?" Arthur asks, turning Balius off the main road. 

"Yeah. You brought a picnic?" You smile, noticing that Arthur's saddlebags are bulkier than usual. You should have noticed earlier that they're stuffed to the brim. 

"I did. Nothin' fancy but I figured you might get hungry while we're out here." Arthur answers, and you chuckle, wondering what treats he's packed for you. You trot through the grass, coming upon a little collection of grassy ponds. This must be Heartland Overflow. It's beautiful, and wildlife runs about, scattering at the sound of the horse's hooves. 

"Why don't you take my bag n' find us a nice spot?" Arthur asks as you ride up alongside Balius. He turns in his saddle, untying the knots that hold his saddle bag on before slumping it over Athena's croup. 

"Okay. Don't take too long or I'm gonna be havin' this all for myself." You admit, chuckling as you turn Athena away, separating from Arthur. 

Arthur shakes his head with a smile before pushing Balius into a canter towards a green-roofed barn in the distance. Once he's down the other side of the hill and you can't see him any longer, you turn to your surroundings. 

Across the pond is a large weeping willow. It provides a perfect amount of shade, and makes a beautiful spot for the morning. You kiss to Athena, urging her to walk through the ankle deep water toward the other side. Water splashes up and soaks onto your boots as Athena trots through it, enjoying the coolness on her legs. Once you're on the other side, under the weeping willow, you slide down from your mare. You don't bother to hitch her. She trusts you enough to come when you call, and you want her to enjoy the grassy fields while she can. You take the heavy saddle bag and toss it to the ground under the willow before sitting on your knees to go through it. 

First you take out a blanket, it's a big blue one, and you stand to spread it out on the grass. The wind works to your advantage as you sprawl it out, making a perfect cushion for you both to sit on. Then, seated on the blanket, you pull out two cans of peaches, two bread rolls, a can of strawberries, two slices of beef jerky, and a chocolate bar. You eye the food hungrily, laying it out nice for when Arthur comes back. Then, just to double check, you reach back into the bag. Your fingers brush against an unfamiliar smooth texture, and your eyebrows pull together as you grip it, taking it out. 

Immediately your eyes go wide as, from the bag, you bring out Arthur's journal. You hold the precious book in your lap, looking down to the heavily used pages before looking up at the ridge.

You shouldn't… but Arthur won't be back for some time and you really want to know what he's written. You've only seen the contents of his journal once, back when he showed you in Horseshoe. 

Releasing a breath, you curse yourself, deciding just to flip to one page and then put it back. You run your thumb across the pages, flipping to one of the more recent entries. Immediately you smile, chuckling as your eyes run across the page briefly. It's a drawing of you and Lenny. He's leaning on the bar, drinking a beer and you're dancing in front of the pianist. Arthur had managed to capture the moment perfectly, as if he had paused time and drawn it. You scan down your smiling face, looking back to you in the form of Arthur's sketching. Even in the drawing you can see the drunken haze in your eyes, the freedom as you danced to the piano to your heart's content. 

Then your eyes flicker to the other side of the page where a neatly written entry is scribbled diagonally on the paper. 

In some ways I hope I never forget this night. In others, I wish to wipe it from my mind entirely. It seems that alcohol loosened Star's lips, and I guess it loosened mine too. I just hope I don't come to regret the things I said, the things I remember at least. 

You look up from the journal, jaw slack as you attempt to remember what happened that night. What had you said? What had Arthur said? 

You swallow thickly, looking down to the journal with some worry before flipping to the next page. 

Mary sent me a letter. Said she's in town and heard talk of us in Valentine. She wants to see me, said she misses what we had. I used to. I used to miss her a lot, but I reckon that's all old business now. I think I've finally put Mary in the past, moved on after all these goddamn years. I got some hope now, something good for once. 

You look up from the journal with your jaw open again. His journal has left you with more questions than answers, and you huff. Mary clearly meant something to Arthur at one point, perhaps an old fling? But the girls knew of her, so she had to mean something more. 

With a newfound sour mood, you tuck Arthur's journal back into his bag. Is it jealousy you feel? Or anger? You're not sure, but without having met her, Mary manages to get under your skin. You wonder if she's pretty, and if she has the money to wear nice dresses and makeup. Then you sigh, frustrated. Even though his journal is stuffed back into his bag, you can feel its leather cover burning into your skin, bugging you. 

Hooves sound out from the ridge line, and you look up to see Arthur appear over the hill. He's cantering down towards you, satchel lighter now that he's pawned off some items. Even though you're glad he's back, you can't help the annoyed curiosity that bubbles up in your stomach. 

Oblivious, Arthur rides up to the blanket before dismounting. 

"Good spot." He says, sending Balius off after grabbing a flask from his satchel, "Turns out old Seamus sells too." Arthur chuckles, tossing the moonshine flask down onto the blanket by your legs. 

Attempting to crack a smile, you take the flask and unscrew the lid. Arthur rests down on the blanket beside you, sitting just a few inches from you. Once the lid is undone, you take a swig of the alcohol. It burns, more so than anything you've ever drank, and you cough, throat raw from the stuff. 

"Jesus." You cough, handing the flask back to Arthur. 

"Moonshine. Nasty stuff." Arthur jokes, taking a drink from the same flask. He doesn't seem to mind it, only groaning once it's down. Arthur sees the distant look on your face, he notices that you haven't touched any of the food laid out either. 

"You okay?" Arthur asks, a little crease in between his eyebrows. You look upset, and Arthur hopes that you're not worrying about the train. 

"Who's Mary?" You blurt out, not even realizing you've actually said it out loud until Arthur's face draws up. 

"What?" Arthur asks, looking almost offended, and very surprised. 

"I asked you, who's Mary?" You repeat, looking up to Arthur. Your tone is irritated, and you realize that you're ruining the picnic, but you can't bring yourself to stop. You're mad, mad because Arthur has managed to keep this from you, and apparently you're the only one in the damn gang that doesn't know about her. 

"How do you even know about Mary?" Arthur scoffs, eyes squinted as he leans back from you. 

"Jesus, I didn't realize she was a secret. I guess I just wanna know why she's callin' you out to her house all the sudden when I haven't even heard of her before." You bite. 

Arthur's demeanor changes then, shifting to the angry, threatening man that you've only seen a handful of times in action. Part of you wants to shy away, but you push your shoulders back and meet him head on with the same stubborn aggression. 

"Did you read my damn mail?" Arthur hisses, glancing at you, and then down to the bag at your side. Everything seems to click in his head then, and he huffs humorlessly. 

"No. No you read my goddamn journal, didn't you? Just couldn't keep your nosey eyes off them pages huh?" He bites, picking up the bag just to toss it at your feet. The contents spill out in your lap, and his open journal falls out alongside the candies he had brought for you, the yellow ones. 

"Y'know I hope you read it all. I hope you read every damn page, cause then you won't have to ask anymore questions. We wouldn't be playin this damn game…" Arthur hisses, pacing as he begins to berate you. "Why do you have the right to ask me about Mary when you haven't told me shit about your past? You can't even talk to me. You can't open up at all, closed off like a damn bottle, but you have no problem pryin' into everybody else's lives!" He growls, waiting for you to bite back.

On the ground, feeling like a fool, your lip trembles. You know he's right. He's hit the nail right on the head with his assumption, but it hurts nonetheless. You've stepped too far, you know, but it doesn't stop Arthur from overstepping too. 

"Heard you was pryin' into John's business too. God- you're a hypocrite. Did you think at all about your inability to handle your own shit before you went and did that?" Arthur fumes, and you bring your knees up to your chin. Arthur is waiting for your retort, for your comeback. He knows it'll come, but with his back to you, waiting, it doesn't. You always have a retort, and your silence is louder than any insult you could have thrown back at him. When he turns back towards you, already realizing he's crossed a boundary, he sees the tear track running down your cheek.

"Don't." You whisper, sniffling back the tears that fall so often now, "I can take this from anyone but you." You whimper, head falling to your knees. 

When Arthur's eyes land upon you he doesn't know what to do. You look so small, crumpled up on the ground, a mess. He wants to argue with you, to be mad about the journal, but at the same time he wants to comfort you. He knows what you're battling right now, and he knows he shouldn't have brought it up. Feeling like an ass, Arthur slumps to the ground at your side again. He lays back against the blanket, looking up at the sky before sighing. 

"Mary was my fiancé. Long time ago. Ain't talked to her in years." Arthur admits, and you peek up from your knees, wondering what sparked the change in his tone. 

"Now that's all I'm giving you until you tell me somethin too. But for now, eat somethin. We gotta get movin soon." Arthur says, coldly. 

— — — —

It's nearly dark. There's just enough light for you to make the trip over to Dewberry Creek. You lead the way silently, still not having said a word to Arthur since the argument. You don't know what to say. Apologies aren't exactly your strong suit. You're mad. Mad at Arthur, but mostly mad at yourself for ruining the day with your selfishness, your hypocrisy as Arthur put it. 

You can hear Sean rambling as you approach the old building, and you trot Athena up to where the wagon is hidden. 

"Why the hell are you here?" Arthur snaps at Sean, clearly still irritated from earlier. You've put him in a sour mood, one that everyone is going to have to deal with. 

"Oi I’m just taggin along! Back for a day n’ already jumpin inta the action! My da always used to say that jumpin in was better than jumpin’ out! But I think he was talkin about gettin some arse!" Sean chuckles, not skipping a beat over Arthur's attitude. 

"Oh, shut up." Charles groans, and at the sound of his voice you notice him leaning against one of the beams of the burned down house. John is already in the driver's side of the wagon, and Taima and Old Boy are hooked up to the front. You dismount, walking over to the wagon behind Arthur. 

"Look at us! Four strong shootin men, and a lady!" Sean chuckles, climbing up on the wagon beside John who rolls his eyes. 

"Shouldn't we be going over the plan?" Charles points out, climbing onto the side of the wagon to hang on, just as you and Arthur do on the other side. The wagon begins to roll out of the trees as John smacks the reins over the horse's backs. 

"We roll the wagon over the tracks and leave the horses go." John explains, "They'll see the oil and stop. It's easy." 

Sean turns in his seat, looking over the wagon before turning back to John. 

"Yeah but t'eres no oil in the wagon." Sean points out, and collectively everyone else rolls their eyes. 

"Well the conductor don't know that, so it don't matter!" John bites, irritated with everyone's doubts and questions. 

"I don't like it…" You whisper, gripping onto the metal bars of the wagon as it rolls down the road, inching closer towards the train tracks. 

"We ain't got much of a choice." John replies. Once the plan is set, Arthur begins ordering people around, crafting a more detailed plan for the job. 

"As soon as she stops, board her. Charles, deal with the conductor and the front security. John take the passengers. Sean and Star, as soon as she slows, head to the baggage car." He orders, and you roll your eyes at the assignment he's stuck you with. 

"And what are you gonna do?" Charles asks. 

"I'm gonna make sure she slows." 

John pulls the wagon forward, slowing the horses to a stop once the oil wagon is situated over the tracks. You jump down as John and Arthur begin untying the horses from the front, sending them away into the woods.

"Is everyone good with the plan?" Arthur hollers, and you look around, realizing that this is happening. It's inescapable now, and you'll have to deal with the anxiety in your chest. 

"Yeah, we're good." Charles answers, and you nod your head, eyes fixed on the bed in the railroad tracks where the train will be approaching shortly. 

"Alright everyone get in the woods!" Arthur orders, pulling his mask up over his nose before placing one of his boots on the iron track. Charles notices your hesitancy, and grips your arm to pull you towards the treeline. 

"Hey, you alright?" Charles asks, pulling your neckerchief up over your nose as you've forgotten. You nod, a little too quick for his liking. 

"Just nervous." You admit. 

"Just stick with Sean. You'll be okay." Charles offers, squeezing your shoulder lightly. You nod, focusing your attention back on Arthur. 

You feel the vibration of the train long before you see it coming. Arthur's boot shakes against the track, and once he feels it coming he climbs up on top of the oil wagon. You gasp, eyes going wide as he holds his carbine in front of him, in a threatening stance on top of the wagon. He looks like nothing short of a criminal up there, a cold hearted killer. He stands on the wagon with a threatening stance, symbolizing everything that the government wishes to destroy. Feet planted on either side of the oil barrel, it doesn't appear that Arthur will be giving the law a break any time soon. The sight of him standing up on that wagon is one you're sure you'll never forget. If you didn't know Arthur, you'd be terrified. 

Nothing can be heard but uneven, anxious breathing as the train comes around the corner. it's far off, too far for the conductor to see Arthur, but once the bright white headlight peeks around the bend your breath hitches in your throat. 

Arthur cocks his repeater, and you watch as the train comes closer. You expect the train to blow its whistle, for the conductor to do something to warm off Arthur, but he doesn't. Your eyebrows draw together as the train continues to barrel forward, unbothered by the obstruction ahead.

"Why ain't it slowin'?" You ask, breath uneven as your heart rate picks up speed. 

No one responds, watching as it continues forward. Even Arthur seems to lose his composure, stance faltering as the train continues on. It's getting closer to the wagon, and you're not sure if it'll have time to stop before it crashes. 

"There's still time. Hold on." Sean says, eyes flickering up to the rapidly approaching train. 

"John?! Why ain't it stoppin?!" You beg, looking frantically between Arthur and the train. Charles pulls out a pair of binoculars, looking through them to the engine car. 

"Shit! He's dead or he's asleep, but either way the train isn't stopping." Charles says, stuffing his binoculars back as anxiety pangs in your chest. The train is too close now, it can't stop in time even if the conductor were to wake up.

"ARTHUR JUMP!" John screams as all four of you jog out of the woods. Arthur glances between the group of you and the train, unable to hear over the rumbling and screeching. 

"JUMP!" You plead, screaming. Arthur glances at the train once more, and getting the message he jumps as far out as he can. He hits the ground hard, rolling down the slope before he stops. It's only seconds later that the train smashes into the oil wagon. You thank god it's empty, and there's no explosion, but the metallic screech hurts your ears as the train pushes the wagon over in a huge crash. Sparks fly as metal scrapes off metal, but the train carries on forward, pushing the oil wagon in front of it until itfalls off to the side. 

"Why the hell didn't he stop?!" Arthur yells, whistling for Balius.

"The conductor is dead!" You yell, "Are we really still doin' this?" 

Four horses come running up the hill towards you, and the boys mount up ahead of you. 

"Yes! Now mount up, we can catch it before it gets to Rhodes!" John yells, and you leap onto Athena, urging her forward before you even put your feet in the stirrups. The chase is terrifying. It's hard to see in the dark, and you put full trust into Athena as she barrels forward after the train. Sean is the first to catch up, and he jumps from his horse onto the train's roof.

Your heart pounds in your ears as you run forward, watching as Charles, John and Arthur all jump onto the train. 

"Star, cmon!" Arthur yells, and you try to breath as you stand in your saddle, barely able to balance. You jump as far as you can, hoping that you'll make it. The jump is terrifying, but worse is the pain as your body slams against the side of the train. Only your hands have made it to the top as you grip onto the roof, feet dangling down to the rapidly passing ground below. Then a hand grips yours, and pulls you up into the roof. You gasp, looking up to yours and Arthur's hands, muttering a small 'thanks' between trembling breaths. 

"Plan stays the same. Charles, get this thing stopped!" Arthur orders, just as two armed guards climb up onto the roof.

"They're fixin' to rob the train!" One of the boys yells and starts shooting from his revolver. You unholster your own, balancing on the quick moving train as you fire twice into the man's chest. The second man breaches the top, and Sean takes him down with a headshot. The train makes you motion sick, and you have to bite down bile, forcing your eyes away from the ground. 

"We're gettin' too damn close to the town!" John yells, firing into more men as they climb up onto the roof. 

You whip around, looking for Charles to see if he's made progress in getting to the engine car. You don't see him on the roof, so you assume he's close. 

"John! Get down there, me and Star will hold them off. Sean, get to the baggage car!" Arthur yells out. They follow his orders, jumping down to the train cars from behind you and Arthur. 

"Why's there so many?" You yell over the noise as two more men fire toward you.

"I don't know, sure are a lot for an unguarded train- goddammit!" Arthur yells back. 

You lose your balance as the train quickly starts to slow down. Sparks fly and metal screeches as the train begins to slow. You release a breath, reloading your revolver as more guards shoot at you from across the train cars. The train never stops, instead in one fluid movement it slows enough and then starts going backwards.

"Wait- wait, shit!" You yell as the train starts moving in reverse. Just as quickly as the train has stopped, it starts accelerating in the wrong direction, back towards Valentine. 

"What the hell is happenin?" You scream back towards the engine car. You fire into one last guard, and then they stop coming up to the roof for now. 

"We're goin' too fast!" You point out, losing your balance again as trees start to blur by, making you dizzy. 

"Shit, I know. Just get to Sean, I'll see what's happenin' up front!" Arthur hollers, bracing himself as he jumps onto the next train car. 

"Star?" Arthur yells, and you turn around, "Don't get hurt." You nod, and with that he turns, running on the rapidly reversing train towards the engine.

You try to calm down your breathing as you run across the tops of the train cars, jumping as far as you can between each one. Your heart pounds rapidly in your ears, and the train accelerating is nothing but a background noise in your head. Revolver in hand, eventually you make it to the baggage car. 

"Sean you alive?" You yell, bracing yourself as you jump from the roof down onto the platform below. The land sends an ache through your knees, but you do land. 

"Yeah makin out real good down here!" Sean hollers back as you enter the caboose. 

"Why the hell are we in reverse?" Sean asks, stuffing a saddle bag full of cash and jewelry. You immediately get to helping him, ripping open the cupboards and stripping them of their content before shoving the precious items into Sean's bag. 

"I got no idea. Arthur n Charles are dealin' with it." You respond, glancing out the window and gasping when you see that you're nearing Flatneck Station. You've crossed the state line back into New Hanover, and in less than five minutes you'll be crossing over Bard's Crossing, the infamously high railroad bridge. 

"Oh my god, fuck." You curse, stuffing the bags even quicker. Shots ring out from the roof, and you gasp, neck snapping up. 

"That's gotta be Arthur or Charles." You gasp. You look down the train cars to see John pistol whip a man for not giving up his money. 

"Go help ‘em! I'm alright here for now!" Sean hollers, and you nod, running out of the car. Momentarily holstering your gun, you leap up onto the roof, pulling yourself up. Arthur is up there, shooting at a couple of men across the train as you run up to help him.

"You guys got the money?" He asks. 

"Yeah! Why ain't we stopped?!" You yell, shooting at the men, and clipping one in the neck. He falls off the train, and you wince as his body cracks against the quickly passing ground. Just then, Charles comes running across the cars, jumping over the gaps towards you. 

"Conductors dead! Doors locked and he fell on the reverse lever. I can't stop it." Charles explains, "We gotta go NOW, it's not stopping!" He yells, just as two more boys climb up onto the roof. 

"Rot in hell you bastards!" One yells, and you go to reload your revolver, but it's empty. You curse, looking ahead to where the caboose is barreling towards the bridge. 

A man climbs up from behind you, taking you by surprise as he knocks the gun from Arthur's hand. Arthur turns around and punches him right in the face, nose cracking as blood pours from his face. 

"Get off the train! I got this bastard!" Arthur yells, and you hyperventilate, glancing between him and the bridge. Sean and John have already jumped, and you see them riding alongside the train with Athena, Taima and Balius. Charles jumps down, just as Arthur kicks the man off the side of the train. He hits the ground with a sickening crack, and Arthur turns to you, no longer asking. 

"Star, go!" Arthur commands, and you gasp as another man comes up from the side of the train, pulling Arthur into a chokehold from behind.

"Get down here! We can't help him till you're out the way!" John screams up to you, and panicking, you leap. The jump is terrifying, and the land onto your saddle knocks the breath out of you. But then you're safe on Athena, barreling towards the cliffs edge where the bridge begins, waiting for Arthur to deal with the last guard. 

"Does anyone have a shot on him?" Sean yells, gun aimed up at the man who is fighting Arthur. Arthur's body is bigger than the man, and at the angle you're at, it's impossible to kill him without killing Arthur. Arthur struggles, elbowing the man in the gut to break free from his chokehold. 

"No!" John yells back. 

"Arthur!" You scream, though futile, watching as the train gets closer to the bridge. 

"I got this bastard." Arthur chokes out, coughing as he elbows the man enough to get away from his grip. You slide Athena into a stop to avoid running off a cliff as the train starts to go over the bridge. The wind howls in your ear from the elevation as you watch on in horror.

"What do we do!? John-" You whimper, feeling useless and helpless as Arthur punches the man, fists raised as they brawl atop the train. 

"He'll be okay. He will. He'll get down on the other side and we'll run over and get him." John replies. All you can do is watch as the train accelerates across the bridge, and you've never been so afraid in your life. Arthur takes a punch in the gut, leaving him vulnerable. 

"Does anyone have a shot!!?" Sean screams, gun raised. But Arthur is still in the way, and no one can help him, he's on his own.

Somehow the next moment happens in a lifetime, and a fraction of a second. Arthur takes a punch straight straight to the gut, and he doubles over, left vulnerable. The guard steadied himself, lifting his leg until the sole of his boot meets Arthur's stomach. The train is rolling right over the highest part of the bridge as the guard kicks out. Arthur stumbles, and the kick sends him falling over the side of the train. 

All the air leaves your lungs, your eyes go wide, and everything stops as Arthur falls. You're frozen, watching as Arthur falls down past the bridge. It's a high drop, too high. Your eyes go wide as Arthur's arms stretch up, attempting to grasp onto something that isn't there as he plummets two hundred feet down to the lake below.  

"No-" You breathe out, just barely a whisper as you stumble down from Athena, nearly falling from the saddle. 

"Arthur!-" John gasps.

"NO!-" You scream, breaths coming in quick, uncontrollable pants as tears fill your eyes and fall out in thick rivulets. You stumble to the ledge of the bridge, on the tracks, gripping the fence so tight that your knuckles turn white. 

The other three men are slack jawed, horrified. They all gasp, stunned beyond being capable to speak. When you look down, you see the rippling water where Arthur had landed, landed but not come back up.  

"NO!!" You sob, unable to hold back your tears as you fall back, hands never leaving the fence. Your cries are shoulder shaking, and you can't bring yourself to care that you are sobbing in front of the other men. 

"Get back to camp right now and don't get followed." John orders Charles and Sean, tears in his eyes that he quickly wipes away. They comply, silently nodding before turning their horses and galloping home, shell-shocked.

You're too stunned to notice what's going on around you, but your sobs have slowed, turned into aching, painful heaves as your nails dig into the fence, as if you holding on to it will pull Arthur back up to you. 

"Star?" John whispers, so quiet from behind you. You shake your head, knowing what he's going to ask of you. 

"Star, we gotta go. The law will be here soon." John tries to reason, fighting his own internal ache. You're not having it, not leaving, and John places his hands on your shoulders, begging you to come with him. You can't stop looking down at the rippling water, waiting for him to come back up, and tearing your eyes away when he doesn't, a vicious cycle. 

"W-we can't leave him John. What if he- what if he's down there and he needs help?" You cry, lungs aching. 

"I know. We won't. We won't leave him. But we can't help him if the law gets to us." He says, and you nod frantically, thinking over his idea. 

He tries to pull you backwards, away from the bridge. You make it two steps back before the anxiety of not seeing the water wins over and your body practically shies away from John. 

"I can't- I can't go, he…" You begin, biting your cheek until it bleeds, stuck in a state of shock that you can't shake. 

"John, what if he didnt-" You sob, unable to finish the sentence that plagues your mind along with the image of his plummet. 

"He did… Star I ain't goin back to camp missing two people, please come home." He pleads, turning as law whistles sound in the distance. 

"No. I can't." You say, stern in your choice. Because what is there to go back to without him? And what if he needs help?

"Where will you go?" He asks, glancing to the whistles in the distance. 

"I guess across the river so I-" your face crumbles at the idea, "so I can look for him." 

John nods, whistling lowly for Old Boy. The horse trots forward, and John quickly unwraps his camp kit from Old Boy's saddle before tightening it onto Athena's. 

"My camp kit. Take it, you'll need it." He turns to you then, red eyes looking into yours. "Be safe out here… and don't lose yourself. Arthurs my brother. But if he ain't back in a day or two, you gotta come home. He'd want that." John says, voice even raspier than usual as he deals with his emotion. You nod, tears filling your eyes as places his hand on your shoulder.

"If he comes back to camp I'll come for you right away." He offers, and you nod. 

And then he's mounting up, offering you a bittersweet tip of his hat as he rides away. And you're suddenly alone. There's no one here to pick up your broken pieces, so you pick them up yourself, climbing into the saddle and cantering away from the approaching law whistles. You don't try to stop the tears. Some are silent, sliding down your face and dripping into your saddle, but some are loud, and you have to leave go of the reins to sob into your hands. You make it to the other side of the river thanks to Athena, with Balius trotting beside you the entire way. No one tells you what to do when something like this happens. You're lost, left to figure it out as you operate like a shell of a human being, going through the motions to avoid the law. 

Once you're across the Dakota, situated just on the treeline close to the bank you slide down from your mare to sit in the grass, knees held up to your chin as you watch the water. You've never seen it so still. There's not a ripple other than the steady flow out to the lake. The law whistles get louder, and you listen for them as you numbly watch the water for hours, lost in your head. Eventually the law dissipates, giving up and going home.

You don't know if he's dead or not, but the chances of him being okay right now are bad. The bridge hangs over the horizon like a tyrant, a constant reminder of what's just happened. You try to avoid looking at it, try to avoid seeing the fall, the fear in his eyes as his feet left the train. 

You can't help but drift to the fact that your last real conversation was an argument, and you ache to go back in time and spend the day at his picnic like he'd planned. He was right about you. You're a hypocrite. All Arthur has done since you met him was offer kindness when you didn't deserve it. He gave and gave and you took and took. He told you his feelings time and again through his words and his actions. And you rejected him again and again. All because you were afraid. He said it when you went fishing with Jack, he said it when you danced at Sean's party and when you were drunk under the stars. Arthur told you he would wait. He would wait until you were ready. And here you are. It appears your time is up, and Arthur has waited all he can. 

You think back to that first night in Colter, what you'd told yourself that rang out to be true… good people die. 

Nothing happens for a long while. You don't move, and your limbs ache from your curled up position, but you don't care. You've been watching the water for hours to no avail, but then it happens. Something small washes up on the shore, something black. And as soon as your eyes flicker towards it your face crumples, and falls into your knees with a sob. 

"No, no, not him- please." You whimper to yourself quietly, realizing that he's really gone.

You wipe away your tears, finding the strength to stand up from the grass and pluck the object from the shoreline where it washed up. In your hand is an all too familiar black leather hat, wrapped with rope and adorned with a one of a kind hat ornament. 

You place it on the ground by your legs, curling in on yourself as the grief overtakes you, causing your body to ache and your lungs to burn from the sobs that erupt from them. 

taglist: @margofiore @mrsarthurmorgan7 @woman-with-no-name @tillith @luvliewriting @pine4pple-b0i @photo1030 @dudsparrow

series taglist: @catnotbread @chxosangxl @globetrotter28 @justalittlerayofpitchblack @fruittiest-of-loops @randomidk-123 @heyworld-whatsup @btsiguess-kpop @how-the-heck-would-i-know

[deadgirlwalking91]

new update - 'Thank You for the Venom', chapter 8 🎸 🗡️

Chapter One

Chapter Two

Chapter Three

Chapter Four

Chapter Five

Chapter Six

Chapter Seven

Chapter Eight Summary

Lute makes a decision regarding Adam's proposition.

No weekend preview today... instead, I'm positing the whole chapter ;) hoping to shift my posting schedule to the weekend instead of a Tuesday, so let's see how this works. Thanks all for reading and engaging so far, hope you like this one. It was a fun time to write! Cheers @branded-rose for beta-ing and for patiently answering all my "but does this make senseeeeeee" questions. You have the patience of a saint to deal with me haha.

This was a predicament that Lute never, in her wildest dreams - or nightmares - expected to find herself in.

Sure, lately her interactions with Adam had been teetering more towards civility, as opposed to constantly wanting to rip his throat out with her bare hands. And their meeting the other week, despite her stomach-ache later and awful bloating later that night, had been somewhat tolerable.

Though, the feeling in her stomach after that meeting was nothing compared to the liquid-hot magma that was simmering at the moment, threatening to spill up into her chest and flow throughout her entire body.

Granted, she should have known better, should have been prepared that something like this would happen. As soon as she set Adam straight on her sexuality, she knew it was only a matter of time before he pulled his predictable bullshit and hit on her. After all, she’d be the final notch on his bedpost when it came to the women in his army. 

The straight ones, anyway.

What she didn’t expect though, was to enjoy it.

It wasn’t like Adam had never been close to her physically - in fact, it felt that in the few months since he found out about her revamped training regime, he’d found multiple ways to invade her personal space to antagonise her. And it worked. Executed to perfection by him, really. He knew how to get under her skin, and he excelled at it.

This, though? He was getting under her skin, just not in his usual manner.

Because this time, despite the rational part of her brain screaming at her to snap out of whatever stupor she’d found herself in, she was hot, bothered and turned the fuck on. And she needed to leave before she did something stupid about it. Now.

Especially considering if she stayed, she’d probably keep drinking, which given her current state of mind, was not smart. She’d already had enough.

Shakily, Lute slid off her stool, gripping the padded seat for support as she found her feet. Wine on an empty stomach was never a good idea. It went straight to her head, clouding her judgement. Fuelling potential bad decisions.

Sober Lute wouldn’t let her boss tell her he wanted to take her home for the night and have his way with her. Or let him put his hands all over her in public while she held them against her body, in full view of her sisters, like he owned her. Like she was his, and his alone.

And she would never, in a million years, have thought that she wanted to be taken to his place so he could have his way with her. She needed to move away from him, so that the tiny shred of willpower that she was desperately clinging to wouldn’t be whittled down to nothing. 

Smoothing her dress down, she cleared her throat before turning to Adam, who was now leaning against the bar counter, smirking down at her. Bastard.

“I need to go,” she declared, her voice faltering as she lifted her chin in a last-ditch attempt at bravado. “I’ll see you tomorrow in the office.”

He folded his arms, his arrogant smirk only growing as he looked her up and down, his eyes lingering hungrily at the hem of her dress.

“Hate to see you leave, love to watch you go, Lutey.”

Exhaling deeply, trying to control her heart thumping in her chest, Lute ignored him as she strode towards the door leading to the gardens outside. She needed to find Vaggie, to pretend she was feeling unwell so they could leave, immediately.

She had to get home as soon as possible before she changed her mind and ran back to Adam, and she could only do that with Vaggie’s support.

Not that she’d breathe a word of what had happened to her.

She threw the door open and briefly closed her eyes as she felt the relief of cold air, the gentle breeze welcomed on her burning face and chest as she scanned the courtyard for her friend. Despite the pleasant, mild night the outdoor space was mostly deserted, save for a small group of exorcist angels seated around a table chatting excitedly amongst one another. Lute wandered throughout the gardens, keeping an eye out in hope that she’d spot Vaggie amongst the exotic flowers and greenery. 

No luck.

Sighing, she approached a secluded corner in the far end of the courtyard, hidden by a large, leafy tree. The space was unoccupied, but her head was reeling from her encounter with Adam inside the bar and she needed a moment to process her thoughts, to try and come up with a game plan on how to move forward.

She leaned the side of her body against the wooden fence that lined the perimeter of the venue, facing away from the rest of the yard, her features relaxing for the first time since walking away from Adam. Her chest heaved, the pounding in her heart ringing in her ears as she raked a hand through her hair, trying to recreate the sensation of his fingers running along her scalp. 

Her hands dropped to hold herself around her waist, recalling his possessive hold on her like she belonged to him.

Remembering his bare hand splayed across the top of her bare thigh, inching further and further up her leg until he toyed with the hem of her dress, and how the only coherent thought that ran through her head was how she wanted him to keep going, to feel his way under the material until…

She swallowed nervously, trying not to let her imagination run too wild.

“Get it together, Lute,” she muttered to herself, sharply pinching the soft flesh of her inner arm in an attempt to shock herself out of her lustful stupor. It had no effect except for leaving a gold-tinged mark on her pale skin. “He’s only doing this because he’s realised you’re just another number he can add to his body count. Nothing more. You don’t matter to him. You don’t want to matter to him. He’s an incompetent idiot.”

Hugging her arms around herself, she puffed her cheeks and rubbed her thumbs into her biceps, attempting to distract herself from her thoughts. She let her chest rise and fall rhythmically, and, after some time, her pulse slowed.

She wasn’t sure how long she’d been standing there, zoned out, focusing on her breathing, when she felt two large, firm hands take hold of her hips from behind. Yelping in surprise, her heart rate skyrocketed once again, and she didn’t need to turn around to know those hands belonged to the very man she had walked away from earlier that night.

“What the fuck, Sir?” she gasped, her grip on her arms tightening. “What do you think you’re doing, sneaking up on me like that?”

“You never gave me an answer,” she heard him say, his raspy voice quieter than usual. Softer.

“I was just leaving,” she lied, her body betraying her brain as she turned around, her hands shifting to instinctively rest on his chest. Swallowing nervously, she looked up into the yellow features of that hideous fucking mask that she hated so much.

She wasn’t quite so sure though, that she still hated what laid underneath anymore.

It was unlikely she’d ever find out.

“Leaving all by yourself, babe?”

“Yes,” Her breath hitched in her throat as his hands started roaming her body once more, one coming to rest on her lower back, the other cradling the back of her neck. “Specifically, without you.”

Shit, shit, shit. 

“Then why haven’t you gone home, hmm?”

Her eyes involuntarily fluttered shut as he ran his thumb down her jawline, letting it come to rest against her bottom lip where he gently tugged at it, parting her lips slightly.

It took every shred of the minimal willpower left in her body not to give in completely to him then and there. She just couldn’t bring herself to be yet another number. To be branded another one of ‘his girls’.

She could almost hear Vaggie’s stern voice in the back of her mind, reminding her that she was better than that, that she was smarter than that…

“Come home with me.”

“No.”

She opened her eyes, and gold met yellow as she stared into his soulless, digital face. 

Think, Lieutenant.

It was in that moment, somewhere amongst the fog that clouded her judgement, that Lute found the exact solution to her predicament. What if there was something in it for her? What if she got what she wanted? Something to finally satisfy her curiosity?

There was a ninety-nine percent chance he would decline, anyway. Probably tell her to fuck off. If that were the case, no harm done. She’d avoid becoming the very thing she hated, and while she wouldn’t get what she wanted, she could live with that. They could forget this night ever happened and go back to hating each other and trading blows as per usual.

But if he said yes… then she might be able to justify it.

“Unless,” she said slowly, glancing downwards at her feet, carefully trying to articulate the words in her mind before they left her mouth. “Unless you give me what I want.”

She felt his grip on her neck tighten, shooting shivers down her spine, rattling her. “Go on.”

“I’ll -” she took a breath. “I’ll go home with you. But only if you take the mask off. I get to see your face.” She looked up at him, squaring her shoulders in an attempt to feign confidence. 

Adam’s hands fell by his side as he stepped backwards, shaking his head.

“As tempting as your little proposal is, it’s not happening, Lute.”

“Okay,” she shrugged, attempting to appear nonchalant despite the pang of disappointment that nagged at her. “Then I guess I’m going home alone tonight.”

“Fine.” 

“Good.” Lute crossed her arms and glared towards the centre of the courtyard, trying to see if Vaggie had ventured outside so she could grab her and leave without looking back.

A smirk tugged at the corner of Adam’s mouth. “You seem kinda pissed. Something you wanna share with me, babe?”

“No.”

“Admit it, you thought what happened back inside was kinda hot.” With one stride, he’d managed to close the distance between them again, their bodies just touching - though she was slightly disappointed that he’d managed to keep his hands to himself this time.

Lute snorted. “Please, Sir. I’m not stupid. I’ve seen you pull the exact same moves with the other girls in the past. I was just…” she trailed off, unsure how to finish her sentence.

“Just what, hmm?”

His hands found her hips again, pressing her against him, and her wings fluttered involuntarily.

“Nothing,” she said quickly, hoping he hadn’t noticed. “What are you doing?”

“Testing a theory.”

“Which is?”

He flashed her a wide smile, dragging his fingertips slowly up and down her sides. He was deliberately antagonising her. Teasing her. “You’ve got it bad for me, babe. I don’t blame you - I’d have it bad for my boss, too.”

Lute’s eyes widened, horrified. “You have it bad for Sera?”

“Shit!” Adam cursed, fingers digging into Lute’s waist. “I fucked that up -”

Lute tilted her head back slightly and laughed, shoulders quivering as her hands came to rest on his forearms. 

Accidentally, of course. 

Adam snickered, shaking his head. “I haven’t screwed up a line like that in years. I’m usually smooth as fuck.”

“First time for everything, isn’t there, Sir?” she smiled up at him, amused, momentarily forgetting the unusual predicament she had found herself in. A rare, peaceful silence passed between the two of them; one where they did nothing except smile at each other.

It seemed there certainly was a first time for everything.

“Yeah, he mused, uncharacteristically quiet, cocking his head to the side slightly and frowning. “I guess there is, Lutey.”

Adam pulled one of his hands away from her waist, causing her hold on his arm to slip. Hesitating slightly, he brought it to the chin of his mark and lifted ever so slightly before stopping completely.

Lute’s breath caught in her throat as the realisation of what he was doing hit her like a ton of bricks, her heart now racing so fast she was sure he could feel it rocketing away in her chest.

“Wha -”

“Close your eyes.”

She gripped his arm tighter. “No way, you’re finally taking that hideous thing off, I’m not -”

“Close your fucking eyes, Lieutenant. That’s an order.”

Groaning in frustration, she reluctantly obeyed her commanding officer, squeezing her eyes shut. “Fine, they’re closed. Tell me when to open.” His other hand fell from her waist, her other arm coming to rest by her side as he moved away, putting distance between them once again.

She desperately wanted to peek, to let just one eyelid open slightly so she could see what he was doing. Did he have to fix himself somehow before revealing his true identity to her? She held her breath, trying to listen for a sign of what to expect when she was allowed to look.

Nothing.

Tapping her foot impatiently, she puffed her cheeks in frustration. “Can I open them now?”

“No, you impatient bitch! Do not fucking open them until I say. I mean it, Lute, or I’ll kick your ass.”

“Fine, whatever, just hurry up.”

Two warm hands suddenly cupped the sides of her face, tilting it upwards, a single thumb grazing her cheekbone.

“What are you doing?”

“Remember, keep them closed,” he whispered in her ear, his breath hot against her skin. 

She couldn’t think; him being so close to her was making her head spin, her heart flutter, her throat tighten.

Then, without warning, he closed the space between them and kissed her.

It took Lute a moment to register that the mask had gone, and that the mouth against hers was warm and soft, kissing her with an eagerness that caused her to melt against him completely.

His lips moved expertly against hers, capturing her mouth over and over as his hands left her face and grabbed at her hips, shifting her so that her back was flush against the wooden fence.

Lute sighed into his mouth, her own hands instinctively flying upwards into his hair, running her fingers through the coarse strands, trying to imagine the colour, the style, how it framed his face.

Oh, how she longed to see his face.

“Hold on, babe.” Adam whispered against her lips, and before she could respond, he gripped the back of her thighs and hoisted her up, his hips pinning her roughly against the fence.

Wrapping her legs around his middle for stability, Lute moaned softly as he slowly ran his tongue across her bottom lip, silently asking her for permission to enter her mouth. And when their tongues finally collided, his hands started hungrily roaming her thighs and ass under her dress, grabbing at and rubbing her bare skin like he couldn’t get enough of her.

She tried to concentrate on his touch, how he was practically manhandling her like she was his little plaything, his large hands desperately kneading at her skin.

Warmth pooled between her thighs as she wondered what else he could do with those fingers.

Disentangling one hand from his hair, she let it drop so she could cradle his face in one hand. She took her time feeling the stubble along his jawline prickle the soft inside of her palm as he continued working her mouth with his own, keeping a firm, steady pace, not showing any sign of stopping or slowing down. 

The sensation of touching his face and hair, but not seeing him was exciting, enthralling, exhilarating, and she made the silent decision that if it just so happened that he ended up fucking her against the fence, then so be it. Dignity be damned, she was horny as fuck and they’d gone this far, what did it matter if they ended up going all the way?

Her dress was hiked up around her waist now, exposing her thin, cotton underwear to him. Groaning loudly at the sensation of his hardened length pressing against her, she tensed her legs and ground her hips into his. She started rhythmically rolling them back and forth, the friction causing her arousal to build, almost sending herself over the edge at one point before she backed right off. She didn’t want to spoil herself in case things escalated further, plus she had a feeling there was no way she’d be able to keep quiet if she did come. Given they were in a public place, that could be a problem.

When Adam eventually broke away, both of them gasping for air, she threw the back of her head against the fence in protest, groaning at the feel of the night’s air on her face.

“You kept them closed,” he breathed, a hint of relief evident in his voice as he eased his hips off hers, her feet giddily touching the ground once more. “Aren’t you a good lieutenant, obeying orders? That’s why you’re my best girl, Lute.”

Breathless, she nodded, blindly grabbing his face to draw his mouth down to hers as she let out a needy little whimper. Because above all, she was a damn good lieutenant and it was about fucking time he recognised it. Took him long enough, too.

“Just so you know,” he whispered against her, letting her tug at his bottom lip with her teeth, “I don’t do this shit. Ever.”

“Uh-huh,” she murmured, not paying attention to what he was saying as one of his hands found its way to the thin strap of her dress, slipping it down to expose her shoulder.

“I mean it, babe. I don’t kiss on the mouth, and I’ve never taken this off for anyone.” Down came the other strap, her shoulders fully exposed to the cool night air now. She suddenly became aware of just how hard her nipples were. They painfully rubbed against the material of her dress, adding to the pleasure she was already feeling in other parts of her body as she pressed against him.

“Mmmhmm.”

Lute simply didn’t care what he was talking about at that moment; truthfully, she wasn’t registering a single word that he was saying. Right now, she was too busy focusing on the sensation of his massive hand under her dress, teasing as he ran a finger just underneath the seam at her inner thigh. She whined in frustration, bucking her hips in the direction of his hand, indicating that she wanted him to quit messing around with her and get to the fucking point.

“Lute, are you out here? It’s time to go.” 

A familiar voice rang clear in her ears, causing Lute to stop dead in their tracks as she was trying to undo the zipper of her dress one-handed.

Vaggie.

“Shit!” She broke the kiss, whacking Adam forcefully on the arm in hopes that he’d get his hand out of her underwear and pay attention to the fact that Vaggie was about to catch them making out against the fence.

“Vaggie!” she hissed, ducking her head into his chest. “Tell me if she’s coming this way, my eyes are still closed! I can’t see where she is!”

“Keep them fucking closed until I say otherwise,” he growled, moving away and Lute had to bite the urge to protest when she no longer felt him touching her.

If Vaggie found her here, secluded in the corner with Adam… she would know. She was incredibly astute, and even if Lute could come up with a brilliant excuse as to why she was alone and dishevelled with her boss’ hands up her dress, Vaggie would never, ever in a million years buy it.

The judgement alone would be enough to kill her.

“Lute?”

“Open.”

Lute’s eyes fluttered open, darting towards the door where she could faintly make out a familiar, grey bob heading back inside. Exhaling, she slid downwards against the fence until she hit the floor, stretching her legs out in front of her, grateful that Vaggie hadn’t bothered to look for her too hard.

In her relief, she’d even almost forgotten about Adam until he joined her on the ground, mask and hood firmly fixed back in their usual place, much to Lute’s disappointment..

“If she’d seen us…” she started, trailing off as she rested her head against the fence. “She’d gut me with her spear in a heartbeat.”

“Why?”

Lute turned, frowning slightly at Adam. “Because for years, she’s heard me complain about what a rude, obnoxious, disgusting, incompetent asshole you are. And she’d tell me I’m worth so much more than just being another notch in your belt.” She jutted her chin out and drew herself up taller. “And she’s right. I’m strong, and intelligent, and a damn good leader to those girls.”

“Never said you weren’t.”

“I don’t need you to,” she shot back. “I don’t need your validation.”

“Then what are you going on about, woman?”

Lute chewed her lip nervously, unsure if she should be blunt or dance around the issue. “I think you only hit on me tonight because you’ve found out I’m straight.”

Adam snorted. “That’s bullshit.”

“The timing is very coincidental, Sir.”

Adam cleared his throat. “Look, yeah, I didn’t think you were into guys. And maybe that’s my bad, because honestly, I didn’t give a shit about getting to know you. You’re a bitchy, mouthy little brat who doesn’t know when to quit. But,” he added, noticing Lute’s face had hardened in anger, “You do a fucking great job as my lieutenant. The girls know it, I know it. Fuck, even Sera knows it, or otherwise she wouldn’t have taken your idea seriously.”

Lute nodded, her expression softening. “Thanks.” She fiddled with the hem of her dress, unsure how else to respond.

“Why did you do it?” she found herself blurting out, avoiding his gaze as a blush crept up her cheeks. She wasn’t entirely sure she was prepared for his answer.

Adam cocked his head at her. “Do what?”

“You know what I’m talking about. Do - do what we did before.” 

She couldn’t quite bring herself to ask ‘why did you almost fuck me against the fence?’

He shrugged. “I figured we should just get it out of our systems. Years of sexual tension and all that jazz.”

“Did you?”

“Did I what, Lute?”

“Get it out of your system?”

He stared at her, expressionless. “Yeah. Did you?”

“Yep. Gone. So out of my system.” she lied, waving a hand in the air, feigning nonchalance.

It was, in fact, not out of her system. Not after she’d felt his lips against hers, or how his coarse hair felt in her hands as the strands slipped between her fingers. How his identity was still a complete mystery, but at least now she knew he was real under that mask.

Still, their little encounter had left her yearning for more. So much more. She needed to know the colour of his eyes, whether his hair was dark or light, what his skin tone was. 

How his body would feel on top of hers as he buried himself inside her.

“But…” she continued, breaking her train of thought before her imagination began running wild. “Can we never speak of this again? Pretend it never happened?”

“Yeah, alright. Fine,” he answered dully, and she noticed his mood suddenly turning sour.

“I mean it, Sir.”

“I said fucking alright!” Adam snapped, turning away from her.

Lute crossed her arms and glared in the opposite direction, irked by his sudden change in demeanour. “Good.”

Neither of them spoke for several seconds, instead choosing to avoid looking at each other completely.

“Well,” Adam said abruptly, pulling himself up to a standing position, still not looking at Lute. “I’m out. See you tomorrow morning in the office.”

“Bye, then.”

She reluctantly watched him leave, and sighed, knowing that despite the night’s crazy turn of events, their parting exchange proved that tomorrow would be just another day in the office.

Groaning, she banged her head against the fence again. 

Dammit.

Adam took his seat at the bar again, nodding at the bartender as they caught his eye and pointed to a glass.

The night had… escalated. Far more so than he imagined it would, despite said escalation being his doing.

If only they hadn’t been interrupted by Vaggie, that cock-blocking little bitch, he was sure Lute would have agreed to go home with him.

Sighing, he pulled his phone from his pocket to check the time and noticed a text message notification at the top of his screen. He clicked onto it, frowning.

Layla: Hey, raincheck tonight? Something’s come up.

He’d forgotten all about his plans with Layla amongst the excitement of that night’s events. And yet…

He had no desire to see Layla that night. Or any other woman, for that matter.

Not unless she had platinum hair, a smart mouth and could put away two dozen ribs, preferably in a tiny, red dress.

Adam: All good, chat soon.

She replied almost instantly.

Layla. No worries. Besides, you seemed preoccupied tonight - not that I blame you. She looked hooooot ;)

Smirking, he shoved his phone back in his pocket and accepted the drink from the bartender. Layla was the ultimate hype-girl, and for that, he was thankful.

Out of the corner of his eye he saw Lute making her way hurriedly to the front door, pausing momentarily to glance at him before ducking her head and slipping away into the night.

Tonight may not have been the night to sleep with Lute, but that didn’t mean that it wasn’t going to happen. 

He just hoped it would be sooner rather than later. 

***

Next time: Another training mishap puts Lute in a tricky situation for a week or so.

[niki-phoria]

Heyo! I was wondering if you could make a gn reader chishiya fic based on the aib characters saying sorry. I really liked what you made the argument about and can totally see it happening so pretty please if you are taking requests could you do this.

doctor chishiya >>>

pairing: chishiya x gn!reader (they/them pronouns) genre: hurt comfort word count: 1.7k

warnings: ooc chishiya, blood, stitches, are stitches considered gore?, canon typical violence, canon divergent game (i have run out of games to write about), arguments, kuina threatens to punch chishiya (kuina best girl !!), reader is called beautiful (if that needs a warning ??) but boys are beautiful too, this kinda turned into a journal entry at the end lmao

a/n: thank you for requesting !! i'm glad you liked the post about them apologizing. i didn't want to leave this as angst so it has a happy ending and i changed a few things so that it wasn't exactly the same. i hope you like it :))

the post they're talking about -> chishiya, arisu, and kuina apologizing after an argument

requests open !! read my rules first

“y/n!” you can hear chishiya yelling at you as you rush to push the man out of the way, taking the blow for him instead. you hit the ground hard. your shoulder aches, both from the stinging cut and the impact. 

the man you saved is quick to scramble to his feet, kicking your attacker away from you before grabbing your arm and pulling you to safety. “thank you,” he pants. chishiya presses a hand against your back. blood seeps through your shirt. you nod at the man, trying to catch your own breath. 

the man rushes off in a different direction afterwards. you watch him leave, hiding further into the shadows to avoid detection. “shit,” chishiya curses. “this is deep. we need to get out of here. you need stitches.” 

you nod, forcing yourself to stand up. you reach back, replacing his hand with your own. “i’ll be fine. go win the game.” chishiya glances between you and the tagger before you gently push him away. “go!”

you’re not sure how long you stand in the shadows. the brick feels uncomfortable against your back as you hold your breath, waiting for the tagger to pass by the alley you’re hiding in. thankfully, they don’t notice you before your phone chimes, ending your torment with a simple “game clear. congratulations.”

the drive back to the beach feels awkward. chishiya keeps a close eye on your shoulder. you know he needs to keep pressure on it, but you can almost feel the irritation radiating off of him. 

he remains silent as you arrive at the beach, picking you up and carrying you into the basement. he sets you on the metal table, searching through various different cabinets for bandages, gauze, and supplies for stitches. the metal is cold against your skin. it feels nice against the warm blood still flowing from your wound. 

you don’t say anything about the slight tremble in chishiya’s hands as he presses the bandages against the cut. his stitches are quick and efficient - almost robotic in his movements. worry builds in your stomach. 

“we need to talk about this.” it sounds more like a question than a statement. like you’re asking if he’s ready to interact with you when he’s still so obviously angry, though you still aren’t sure exactly why. 

“after i finish this.” his words do little to console you. so, you simply nod, trying to relax your body as he continues tending to your wounds. 

“okay.” 

the air feels tense around you as you follow chishiya back to your shared room. he closes the door after you, silently leaning back against the wall. you awkwardly sit across from him on your bed, waiting for him to make the first move. chishiya crosses his arms over his chest, jaw clenched. you avoid eye contact, fidgeting with your hands. 

“that was stupid.” he finally says. 

“saving someone’s life is stupid to you?” 

“he was going to die anyways and you almost got yourself killed with him.” 

“i couldn’t just leave him there! he was begging for help!” 

“he could’ve gotten it from someone else!” his voice raises as yours does. chishiya sighs, running a hand through his hair. “what about these people makes them so worth saving?” 

“what about them makes them not worth saving? they’re people, chishiya, isn’t that enough of a reason?” 

“not when it puts you in danger! it was reckless!” 

“what else was i supposed to do?” 

“why can’t you admit you were wrong for once?” his words sting, but his demeanor is what makes you flinch. chishiya nearly glares at you from across the room. “have you ever considered that i know what’s best? you made a stupid decision, get over it!” you can see the immediate regret spread across his face. he almost shrinks back away from you. you bite your tongue, willing the tears building in your eyes not to fall. “y/n…” 

his words trail off when you stand up. “i need to be alone for a while. come find me when you’re ready to talk to me like an adult.” 

you furiously wipe the tears away from your cheeks as you rush out of the room. 

“y/n?” kuina furrows her eyebrows, opening the door to her room to let you inside. “what’s wrong?” 

you’re sure she can see the dried tears on your face. “i got in a fight with chishiya.” 

“oh, honey,” she wraps her arms around you, pulling you into a hug. you cling to her as she rubs a hand against your back. she pulls away after a few minutes, wiping another few stray tears you hadn’t realized had fallen. “do you want to talk about it?” 

“not really. i just… i got hurt helping someone and he yelled at me because it was reckless.” 

“are you okay?” 

you nod. “i’m fine. just a little sad, i guess.” 

kuina reaches over to grab your hand. it’s a welcome feeling of affection that breaks against the swirling thoughts in your head. “whatever happens, i’ll always be here for you, okay? you can tell me anything.” 

this time the tears that build in your eyes are ones of thankfulness. trust in the borderland is hard to come by, but when kuina squeezes your hand with a small smile and starts telling you about new gossip she heard around the beach, you know that you’ve found an ally. a friend. “thank you.” 

“kuina,” chishiya calls. he walks over to where she’s sitting, awkwardly stuffing his hands deeper into his pockets. “do you know where y/n is?” 

she briefly glances up at him, taking the wooden cigarette out of her mouth. “they’re on the roof.” 

“thanks.” 

“hey, chishiya,” she stands up from the beach chair, stepping closer. “if y/n ever shows up at my door crying because of you ever again, i’ll punch you.” 

he steps back a little, nodding. “it won’t happen again.” 

“good. now, go talk to them. they’ve been waiting for you.”

chishiya doesn’t wait any longer, quickly making his way back into the hotel to the roof. true to kuina’s word, you sit at the edge of the building, staring out at the coastline. the sun has just barely begun to set, casting a golden glow on everything. “y/n?” you turn to look at him over your shoulder, gesturing for him to sit beside you. chishiya obeys, dangling his legs over the edge of the building. you don’t move away when his knee brushes against yours.

you sit in silence for a few minutes, enjoying the sunset. finally, he speaks. “i’m sorry.” you glance over at him, waiting for him to continue. “i shouldn’t have yelled at you. i was scared because you got hurt and i blamed you because it happened while you were trying to help someone.” 

“i’m sorry too.” you pull your knees up to your chest, resting your hand in the space between you and chishiya. “i know it was reckless and i understand why you were upset.” 

chishiya hesitantly reaches over, taking your hand into his. you reciprocate by intertwining your fingers, storking your thumb against his skin. “none of what happened was your fault. i’m sorry i yelled at you. you didn’t deserve that.” 

“i forgive you.” you turn to face him, bringing your right hand up to cup his cheek. you move it behind his head to the nape of his neck, slowly pulling him in to press your lips against his. chishiya takes your cue to lean in, pressing another peck against your lips when you pull away. 

he smiles a little when you pull away, coaxing you to lean against his chest. the sun glistens against the water, hues of pink and purple painting the sky. chishiya tucks his chin over your head. 

“do you know why i helped him?” your voice is quiet when you speak again. it’s getting darker now. the temperature drops as the sun disappears further behind the coastline. 

“no.” chishiya murmurs. he wraps an arm around your waist, rubbing your side. 

“i know it’s hard for you to open up to people, and i’m grateful everyday that you let me in. but it’s hard to survive out here. you survive by shutting everyone out. you built your walls up so high that it takes years to scale them, and even then, you didn’t fully let your guard down for months.” you pause, taking a breath. “i survive out here by relying on my humanity. i have to believe that people are good, because if they aren’t, then nothing else matters. none of the good deeds or random acts of kindness or small moments that remind me that love is everywhere around us matter. i don’t want to live believing that. so, i help people. i put myself in danger for strangers because i rely on my humanity. if i lose my humanity, then i lose everything.” 

silence falls over you once again. chishiya pulls you even closer so you’re fully sitting in his lap, wrapping his arms around you. he leans over your shoulder as the sun fully disappears behind the horizon. the stars are just beginning to appear above you. “i think there’s good in humanity too.” he finally murmurs. “i let you in because i know you’re good. and you’ve done nothing but show me that i was right about you.” he leans down to press a kiss against your shoulder. “you’re strong,” another kiss - this time against your neck. “and loyal,“ his lips brush against the underside of your jawline. “and beautiful,” this time they’re against your cheek. “and good. you’re a good person. one i don’t deserve. i’m thankful for everyday you’re with me.” 

you take the initiative this time, pulling him into a sweet kiss. chishiya pulls you back in again. you sit on the roof together, kissing underneath the stars until your lungs are begging for air and the air chills your bones. you rest your forehead against his when you pull away, letting yourself drown in the overwhelming love you feel. “i’ll take you home,” chishiya whispers. “i promise.” 

[writingsofwesteros]

I've been thinking about something like that, Viserys and Daemon had an older brother who is already dead and this brother has a daughter who ends up marrying Daemon. This already generates a commotion at court because she is technically the daughter of the eldest heir and married Daemon, this makes Viserys feel threatened. oc and Daemon "run away" to dragon stone and then return with their son (Daeron maybe? Idk) already grown up and Viserys and the whole court freak out with the threat. And maybe with a little drama like someone (Otto obviously) telling a killer to kill the child, just like that scene of Catelyn with Bran when they try to kill him. But nothing happens to the boy. After learning of the attempt, Daemon freaks out and asks Viserys that he feels guilty. Then a happy ending. I'm sorry if it got too big, I got carried away. I love your writing

AN: Hi, I hope you like it - got a bit carried away and it’s long, but posting it anyway x

Requests are closed

“Are you okay, Father?” Rhaenyra whispered into Viserys ear as she settled beside him at the feast. She watched his eyes move towards where you sat at the opposite table with Daemon beside you. He must have whispered something in your ear as you began to giggle with your head throwing back.

“Of course.” The Princess didn’t believe him for a moment as she watched the court ladies and Lords whisper around her too. A soft frown escaped her; her uncle and his wife had always been nice to her. Sometimes, the only ones. Your eyes locked onto Rhaenyra as Daemon’s hand settled on your small, pregnant stomach. Something nobody knew about.

“You good?” Your husband whispered into your ear as you moved to reach for the goblet of water. “Of course.” You rested your head on his shoulder for a moment as you subtly looked around the room. Daemon only kept you closer as he tried to ignore the feeling of being unsafe flooding him. You reached for his hand and began to play with his fingers; playing with his ring to calm yourself. “Do you think they know?” You leaned in and whispered to him. You tried to keep from looking over to the hand who seemed to always be watching you. “No, they don’t know. I promise.” Daemon moved his fingers through your hair.

Your worry was still evident as you chewed on your bottom lip and Daemon moved to continue his conversation with another Lord. You didn’t move your hand from his for the rest of the feast as you sipped at the water. The paranoia was that intense you were beginning to believe you could be poisoned. Not that you showed it to your husband as your hand moved to his thigh and you softly stroked him. It was how you stayed the whole evening as your heart quickened with each passing moment. You needed to leave here.

~

The chatter around court only grew louder and you knew there was support for your claim but you still feared for your safety. You were only growing more pregnant; but it was a secret you’d been able to keep. For now. “We should leave.” You whispered in Daemon’s ear as he sat at the end of the bed shirtless. Your fingers moved through his locks as his head fell back to rest on you. “Daemon..” You burrowed into his neck. “I know love.” He ducked his head down as his own thoughts raced through him. He hated that his own brother brought an unsafe environment around his own family.

Daemon still didn’t want to admit it to himself but he could hear the fear in your tone and hated that even more. You were his wife, and it was his duty to protect you and his unborn child. And that’s what he would do. No matter the cost. “Dragonstone would be safer.” He whispered back at you. Your heart slowly began to calm as it seemed your husband was seeing sense. You rested your head on his shoulder with a sigh of relief. “We should go soon?” You continued to stroke his locks as you asked. Daemon could only nod before he turned around and moved to his feet. “Yes…tonight.” 

“Tonight?” You repeated as his hands moved to collect yours and gently play with your fingers as a way of calming you both down. Daemon nodded and rested his head against yours as he stroked your sides. His hand moved to your stomach now before he leaned in and lovingly captured your soft lips. “I won’t let anything happen to you.” The Prince promised. “Both of you.” He burrowed into your neck as you found yourself relaxing against him. You smiled and stayed in his embrace for a moment or two. “I’d already packed.” You whispered into his ear and a smirk came over the Prince. What would he do without you? He thought to himself.

~

The years passed in harmony as Daemon took over the step stones and Dragonstone, without any push back from Viserys. It allowed your family to peacefully grow with the birth of your son. A dragonrider too. “Father’s back.” Daeron quickly moved into your room as his excitement only grew. The worry you always had when your husband was away slowly began to disappear as you moved to leave with your son. The blood red, silk dress flowed behind you as the matching jewels glittered under the fire. “Did you go out riding today?” Daeron linked arms with you as you asked.

“Not today.” He tried to hide his smile from you and you wondered what your baby boy was hiding. “Oh, what were you doing all day?” You continued to prod as you both moved past the guards and into the landing ground. Daeron only stayed silent as you hummed to yourself in curiosity.

He huffed and moved from you; you couldn’t help but giggle. Your baby boy was growing up now. Your bright violet eyes moved towards the sky as the familiar cry of Caraxes sounded out. He was finally home, you thought to yourself and your body relaxed at the thought. Your smile only widened at the sight of Daemon.

He patted Caraxes on the side as he huffed and you watched Daeron move to greet the dragon he adored. Daemon moved to you as you opened your arms and wrapped them around him; happy beyond belief to have him back in your arms, where he belonged you thought to yourself. Your fingers moved through his locks as he leaned in and captured your lips. “I missed you.” You whispered, looping your arms around his neck as he smiled into the kiss. His hands moved down your sides as Daeron rolled his eyes at such display even though he enjoyed seeing his parents in love. He knew his friends weren’t as lucky and the protectiveness he felt for them both was high.

“A letter arrived from your brother.” You whispered into your Prince’s ear; not wanting to alert your son. You could feel Daemon stiffen in your embrace at the words. His hold on you only tightened. “Anything important?” Your dragon whispered into your ear, resting his head on your shoulder. “A summons.” You replied with the dreaded words you had both been waiting for, for some time now.

~

Court hadn’t changed at all in the number of years you and Daemon had left. It amused Daeron to flirt with the high Ladies and cause disruption in the few days he’d been here. Daemon enjoyed the causing of disturbance a little too much whilst you were trying to calm the situation down.

Like now, you watched the feast around you as Viserys so kindly offered to have your family sit with him. “It is nice to see you again Y/N.” The king leaned over to whisper into your ear and for a moment you wondered if he was sincere. “And you, your grace.” You turned to him; finally moving your attention from your son.

“I hear congratulations are in order.” You continued the conversation as civilly as possible whilst your eyes moved to the new Queen. You and Daemon hadn’t been invited to the wedding; another slight your husband hadn’t taken well, not that he showed it. It seemed Viserys wasn’t going to apologise for it either. Thankfully, Daemon wasn’t here to witness that and soon the King was brought into a conversation with Otto. You tried to suppress the shiver that ran down you at the sight of him and moved to distract yourself with the food in front of you. Not that you had an appetite, you thought to yourself.

You didn’t notice the whispers around court as the arrival of your son placed many on edge; none more so than the hand who had given an order on the first day you were back with your family. He was just waiting for the right time, which seemed to come upon him as Daeron slipped from the feast; a girl in tow. Otto’s cold eyes followed the young Prince of Dragonstone and subtle nodded as the assassin waited for his go ahead. A smirk moved across the hand’s face as he watched the beginnings of his plan. He would soon come to learn that his target was more fierce than he realised; he was Daemon’s son after all.

~

The head of the assassin rolled into the room of the feast. As much as you were shocked, you still caught Otto’s reaction. The gasps that echoed around the room had you nearly rolling your eyes until you realised Daeron was the one who had brought the head into the room; he was covered in blood too. “Daeron.” You called out as you moved to stand; your husband followed your son into the room. His face murderous. Your son turned to you if only for a moment as you moved to be with them. You noticed Viserys moving to stand. “Is this the welcome of all your guests, brother?” Daemon’s voice carried.

Your hand found your son's as you checked him over. The worry you felt wrapped around you as Daemon continued to walk to Viserys. “I’m fine, mother.” Daeron whispered into your ear as he tried to calm himself from the bloodshed just spilled. His heart was still racing and you could only feel rage at him being hurt. 

Your eyes moved to Otto and they narrowed; you knew he was involved somehow. “Brother..I’m sorry..I don’t know anything about this.” The King began to claim his innocence and you believed him. Viserys was an idiot and soft. The others around him were not. You gently reached for Daemon’s hand before the situation escalated.

“We should go.” You whispered into your Prince’s ear. The fear you felt of the situation escalating was like no other. “Please..you can stay. You are safe here.” Viserys began and you nearly rolled your eyes. How could he be so stupid? You looked up at your husband as his fingers gently played with yours. “You can have Dragonstone.” Viserys moved to his brother. “I have Dragonstone.” Daemon argued and the King could only bow his head. He watched Daemon look over his shoulder to you and noticed your hand was on your stomach. It shocked the King to realise you were with child again.

“I think I know when I’m not wanted, brother. But I'll be back.” Daemon promised, his threat not even towards his brother as those eyes of his found Otto when he turned to leave.

TAGLIST

@janelongxox

@writerslove2403

@severewobblerlightdragon 

@lettherebrelight 

@heartysworld

@opheliax98

@bshelley322 

@casualheartadorable 

@kittycatcait219 @lilyviolets

@multifndom @7minutes-tomidnight

@savage-aespa 

@kid-from-new-zealand

@thekayarlene 

@sandronebabyy 

@ivanna6026 

@bubblebuttwade

@rosesinmars

@believeinthefireflies95

[one-vivid-judgment]

Hello. Could I please request some comfort headcanons with Joon-gi, Seonhee, Zhao and Tesso with a verbally domestically abused s/o? Tbh your headcanons and just any random post are kinda soul healing and even therapeutic. They give me strength to mentally deal with any unpleasant situation. So, um, thank you.

I'm so glad my posts give you strength, anon! Tbh I picked up writing myself for therapeutic purposes, so it's good to know someone else is getting something out of this as well! I genuinely wish you the best!

Joongi Han

He can relate, actually. He didn’t exactly have a normal childhood: mom passed away when he was still too young to know any better, and his dad who was already abusive before, turned to drinking and his behavior only got worse. He wouldn’t wish that on his worst enemy, much less someone he loves as much as you.

Thankfully, he is no longer in that stage where he will get queasy talking about the subject because the wound is still too fresh. He would have probably had a breakdown if you had brought up the subject a few years earlier, but now he’s... grown used to it. Any pain is dulled out by now, so you can freely talk to him about your situation. He knows you need someone to turn to, and if he is not that person for you, what kind of boyfriend would that make him?

Will hold you silently and just let you talk, hands running up and down your back. He’ll suggest using the Geomijul surveillance system to keep you safe—even if you say no, he will probably go through with it anyway because he can’t stand seeing you like that. If not the entire Geomijul, just himself is enough. He can free up hours of his schedule to watch over you; Seonhee will understand. It will also be her who suggests he brings you over to the Geomijul to stay for good. They have enough bowguns left and are still a threatening enough presence around Ijincho to know no one would dare mess with them.

Seonhee

Unlike Joongi, she hasn’t gone through abuse herself. She’s heard the horror stories from Yeonsu though, so she has some idea of just how bad it can get. Enough to be absolutely fucking fumming by the time you are done telling her about your situation. You can be sure she will take matters into her own hands, even if you try to stop her.

Don’t worry, it won’t be anything like straight up murdering your abuser (though, why lie, she really wants to, and the Geomijul has the means to do that; she can ask Zhao for help disposing of the body, too. Meat bun filling). She will, however, make sure there is always someone watching over you. Most likely Joongi, but if he is out of comission, then it will be anyone else. If it gets too bad, she will do the watching herself. And if it gets real bad? Seonhee is outright snatching you away. She can make extra room for you in the Geomijul HQ, to make sure that person is too scared to come get you.

Not a day goes by where she doesn’t ask you how you are holding up. She’s seen what abuse can do to a person (see, Yeonsu, and to an extent, Zhao), and she has learned the importance of asking those questions. You can come to her with whatever is troubling you, you know that, but she still makes sure to remind you.

Zhao Tianyou

It will take you some time to convince him not to do anything that could potentially land him in jail. You’ve never seen Zhao so mad in your life, and he doesn’t usually yell for no good reason, but man, does he want to kill the bastard that’s putting you through all this. But he also knows it wouldn’t be useful (albeit pretty satisfactory) to get thrown in the slammer and leave you alone.

You Tian is your new home. You can stay for as long as you want: hours, days if you want to. Anything that doesn’t involve you going home to your abuser sounds great in his book. His Liumang loyalists are now basically your full time bodyguards, and if that doesn’t work to intimidate the asshole in question, he’ll have to give them a very stern talking-to. Full of death threats and intimidation tactics. It will prove hard to not take his saber with him though.

He makes sure to be extra sweet to you. Always cooking your favorite dishes, always making sure you are feeling okay. He’ll introduce you to Kasuga and the others if you are up for it, and they’ll quickly become your biggest and best support network. To be honest, Zhao may have grown a little paranoid after the whole ordeal and might need to have you within eyeshot to make sure you are safe. He knows, he knows. But he won’t let it go too far to the point it gets unhealthy.

Tesso

Honestly, he wants to get angry. Hell, he should get angry! But all he can muster is hug you.  He is at the verge of crying when he does. He’s a sensitive man, these things affect him, and the fact that you are going through that when you don’t deserve it at all? Well, you bet your ass it upsets him.

It’s not professional of him, but he’ll admit he sometimes skips Liumang work to go check on you. Like Zhao, he might get a little paranoid about what happens to you when you are out of his sight. He might have hired Tsukumo and Sugiura (Yagami too, if he happens to be in Yokohama) to keep an eye on you; as far as he’s concerned, that’s money well spent. He wishes he could do more—he’ll suggest you run away and stay at his apartment in Restaurant Row. It’s deep enough in Liumang turf that it’s pretty much guarateed your abuser won’t chase after you, if they have half a brain.

His hugs are therapy in and of itself. Helps that he’s a cuddler and pretty much can’t sleep if he isn’t hugging you. Now that he knows what you’ve had to go through, he has all the more reason to do that. He can’t help the smile when he wakes up and sees that you are by his side and not back at that shitty home you grew up in.

[nuvoloso]

I'll be there.

Oikawa x masc reader (he/they)

Support is something I just know that silly little volleyball captain craves from a s/o. This is about somebody who tries their hardest to give him that, even if sometimes it's a swing and a miss.

This one's in first person, y/n is the soccer captain at seijoh, dating Oikawa, yeah yeah you get it. the little ~~ means change in view or time, it'll make sense as you read.

[Side note: I play soccer, so if I write in another sport, it's always gonna be that until somebody tells me to do something else so yeah slay]

Word Count: 4233

~

Spring was always a busy time for me, but especially so this year. The captain of the volleyball team, Oikawa Tōru, and I had (to the dismay of his many fans) started dating. Not only were they devastated because surprise! He's gay, but now he was also taken. I loved it though, they'd swarm him and I'd infiltrate their ranks, my lovely Tōru only embracing me, not giving those girls a second glance. Sometimes I'd play with them and flirt with him loudly, just to see how long before they got so jealous they had to leave. Honestly such a fun game to play.

Anyway, spring was crazy this year because Tōru had a ton of volleyball shit going on, and I had soccer tournaments too. We'd made each other promise when we got serious that we'd make it to each other's games whenever we had the chance. Of course we both understood the importance of keeping grades and appearances up since we both wanted to go into the athletic field post-grad. However, we also understood the importance of supporting each other, so we really did try our best.

Sometimes for me that meant if I knew I had a game the same day or I wouldn't be able to be there for whatever reason, I came to practices leading up to it or took him out to dinner afterwards.

When I could make it, despite not totally understanding everything, I cheered louder than anybody else when Tōru was up for serve or if he did something especially dazzling.

Today, he would be playing against Karasuno, which he was especially excited about. He had been telling me all about it yesterday, I guess there was this Kageyama kid that he went to junior high with that he'd be playing against for the first time. He said that during a practice match they'd had not long ago, Kageyama and some other kid had done some kind of super fast move that had upset a lot of players on the team. He was really looking forward to cracking down on them, it was almost scary.

"You'll be there today right?" He asked me, shutting the door to his locker. I was leaning up against the others next to his, thinking about my schedule today.

"I should be, unless something comes out of the blue. I'm not anticipating anything getting in the way though." He grinned at me, his smile infectiously making its way onto my face. "You better not be lame." I threatened, but he brushed it off and grabbed my hand, pulling me towards the cafeteria so we could get lunch.

"I'm never lame, and this game is gonna be fast paced so even you will find it entertaining, I can almost promise it." His hand gripped mine tightly, like he always did when he was excited or determined.

I smiled at him as we made our way down the stairs, "Yeah, I'll believe it when I see it later."

As we got our food and looked around for a place to sit, a few others from the volleyball team were furiously waving us over to them. Tōru dragged me over to them, despite my wanting to sit with guys from my team.

"Y/n! Are you coming to the game tonight? Gonna watch us kick Karasuno's ass?" Iwaizumi asked, I guess Tōru wasn't the only one hyped for this game.

"I should be, I've got nothing on my schedule for later. Is everybody so excited for this thing? I thought Karasuno wasn't any good at volleyball anymore." The team all shook their heads, everyone started talking at once about different people on the team and what they could do, a lot of the conversation based around the freak duo.

The team continued to chatter away about the game and everything they were looking forward to, I just quietly listened, catching every third word. Tōru's games were always in the evening which was nice because it meant they were usually just after when I finished up at practice. But, it also meant I had to either shower and change in a massive hurry and bolt to the gym, or I had to just go in my soccer stuff, I did a healthy balance of both.

My mind had drifted to thinking about what drills we'd be doing today, hoping that it wasn't going to be a push day since I wanted to get cleaned up before the game later. I felt a hand on my shoulder, lightly shaking me which brought me back to the present.

"You in there somewhere, y/n?" Tōru asked, I cracked a smile and briefly apologized for spacing out. "Do you really find my favorite sport in the world so boring?" I couldn't immediately tell if he was joking or not, so I decided to play it safe and assume he was serious.

"Of course not, I was just thinking about the plan for practice today, I might try to convince coach to let us have a rest day so I can have time to clean up before I come watch. I'd never think volleyball was boring, you play it after all." He seemed to like that answer.

Soon enough, the bell had rang and we parted ways with the rest of his team and went back up to our classrooms. I walked with Tōru to his and lingered with him until I really needed to get to my own. He pouted as I left him, but I just laughed at the stupid look on his face and made my way out.

When I got to my own class I found a few of my teammates talking to each other, greeting me as I entered.

"Hey captain! Excited for later today?" One of them asked, I naturally nodded, assuming he was talking about the volleyball game later. It looked like he was going to say something else, but our teacher entered and they quickly dispersed getting back into their seats.

The later half of the day went by slowly, but eventually we were released. Alongside my few teammates that were in my class, we headed down to the school's main gym so we could get changed before getting out to the field. My team had an interesting energy today, it seemed like they were all pretty pumped for practice even though it was a regular day.

I didn't say anything though, and focused on getting changed and making sure all my stuff was good to go in case I needed to get out quickly to catch Tōru's game. Needless to say, I was very determined to make it to this one. I hadn't been able to make it to one of Tōru's real games in a while since they nearly always lined up with my own, or I had practice matches with other teams during them.

I knew Tōru was always a bit let down that I couldn't watch him play as often as he wanted me to, and I honestly couldn't blame him. I, of course, loved it when he came to my games to support me but never really affected me when he wasn't there, at least not as much as it did him. Since I couldn't honestly remember the last game I had made it to, I was absolutely going to make it to this one. Plus, Tōru was beyond excited for this match and I wanted him to enjoy it as much as he could.

When I made it out onto the field, the coach greeted me and I helped him finish setting up cones and getting the practice jerseys and water stations set up. Soon enough practice had started and things were pretty normal for the first half, it was when we were taking our larger break that I noticed something different.

The managers were handing out our official away uniforms, as if we were going to be playing a game. It was odd enough that we were getting our uniforms, but to be getting the away ones was even stranger. Generally, if we hosted a match or practice match, we got to wear our home jerseys, and the other team would compensate for that and wear whichever of theirs differed from ours the most.

It's not as if I didn't like our away jerseys, I liked them better than the normal teal and white ones for sure. The away's had to be decently different from the home's so they were mainly black with white and turquoise details.

As our manager handed me mine, I thought to ask her what we needed them for.

"I thought we weren't having any practice games today, why are you handing out the uniforms?" She gave me a weird look.

"You don't remember? Coach said that Date Tech would be coming over for a practice match today because it was the only day that worked for them. He sent out a mass email about it a few days ago, don't you check your emails?" God why? Of all the days they had to surprise me with a practice match it had to be today?

I sighed, "I guess I must've missed it, thank you though." She looked puzzled at my lack of excitement towards the match, but didn't ask about it. "Hey coach?" I called, getting up to meet him before I got changed.

"Yeah, what's up--is something wrong? You look a little distressed." I nervously wrung my jersey as if it wasn't already bone dry.

"I just, didn't realize we had a practice match today. How long do you think it'll go for?" Coach was surprised at my question, usually I wanted these matches to go on forever but asking when it was over was new.

"Well, it all depends on you guys. We'll start as soon as they get here, but we're going to do a full match. It's what? 16hr right now?" I checked my watch, nodding. "Ok so we'll probably be done right around 18hr, maybe earlier but it depends."

I pursed my lips, sighing quickly but thanking him for humoring my questions. Tōru's game starts at 17hr 30m, and he said they usually last about an hour. I might be able to catch the last half or so if I hurry.

I watched the Date Tech bus pull in, and silently begged them to just go faster. I had no time to waste, I needed this game to start as soon as possible.

Luckily with everyone's excitement surrounding the match, they wanted to get going too, and things started shortly after the visitors offloaded their bus. We greeted each other, and play began shortly after.

When half time rolled around it was just turning 17hr, which meant after our ten minute break, we really would be finishing right at 18hr. I pulled out my phone to shoot Tōru a text, though I was sure he wouldn't read it since he was likely getting ready for his match.

Y/n [hey I'm not going to be on time to the match, I got blindsided by a practice game. I might be able to see the later half or so of the match]

I was going to just put my phone away after I sent it, but I saw that he had read the message, and the dots that meant he was typing.

Tōru [hope you can make it <3]

That was all I got. And I could practically feel the tribulation on his end through the simple message. I threw my phone back into my bag and put my palms into my eyes for a few moments, until I could tell I was being watched.

"You ok y/n?" Someone asked, I moved my hands from my eyes and looked up towards the voice. It was our goalie, and he was offering me a hand up.

I groaned, "I was supposed to go to Tōru's match that starts in thirty minutes, but now I don't know if I'll make it. I promised him I'd be there too, but I had no clue we had a match today." He gave me a very knowing look.

"Ah, yeah I get it. My girl's on the tennis team and our schedules never line up. Maybe these clouds will start doing something interesting and we'll get released early." I looked up at the sky and noticed that he may be right. The clouds were dark and looked about ready to dump some rain on us, I couldn't believe I hadn't noticed it earlier.

I loved playing in the rain, I thought it was fun and challenging but the coaches definitely didn't feel the same way, they saw it more as a danger since it made everything so slick. We had a tent set up so our stuff was never at risk of getting drenched, but soccer was an outdoor game and the weather was unpredictable.

Play resumed again, and as we went on I could feel droplets of water setting on my skin. Just a little downpour, please. Just enough to let me get outta here soon. As if the sky was listening to me, the droplets doubled in size and quantity and soon rain was coating the field and everyone on it.

"Alright everybody, we're gonna stop here for today and we'll pick this up again another day! Get your things and get inside to dry off!" The coaches were yelling, everybody running to the sidelines to get their shit and leave. I was probably the fastest, checking my watch it was 17hr 50m which meant Tōru had been playing for at least twenty minutes, and I was gonna make it before it ended.

I grabbed my things and about as quickly as I could, changed out of my cleats and into an old pair of sneakers I only ever wore outside because I didn't care how dirty they got. I threw on my jacket and ran to the street in front of Seijoh to try to get a taxi so I didn't have to try to run to the Sendai City Gym.

That, was where my luck ran out. The streets were empty, not a taxi in sight which meant I had to call for one and wait for it to show up. Thankfully there was one nearby and it didn't take too long to show up but I was losing time. The driver handed me a towel she had on hand and told me to dry myself off as well as I could because she didn't want water all over her cab. I apologized profusely as I did my best to dry myself off.

We arrived at the gym a handful of minutes later, the kind taxi driver giving me a disposable umbrella she had, telling me to not get drenched again. I thanked her over and over while I gave her some cash for the ride, and ran as fast as I could to the gym's entrance. When I got there I quickly changed out of my disgusting shoes, shoving them into my bag and pulling out a cleaner pair of hightops to wear. I ran into the bathroom to take a look at myself, running my hands through my hair a few times and dabbing off some residual rain and sweat that I'd missed while in the taxi.

When I deemed myself mostly presentable I jogged through the building until I heard the sounds of volleyball. There were a few different sections that had teams going, and to my luck Tōru's was the last one I checked. I ran up the stairs leading to the bleachers, but didn't bother to find a seat, I just got as close as I could to where Tōru was on the court.

I looked at the score, it was the third set, and about in the middle from what I knew about the volleyball score system. I looked around the court, recognizing a few players on the other team from what I had heard, and noting the positions of everyone on Tōru's team.

To my joy, he was going in to serve next. I tried calling out to him, but the crowd of Seijoh supporters drowned me out. Luckily I caught Iwaizumi's eye, a grin appearing on his face when he realized that I'd made it. I couldn't hear anything he was saying, but as the team was quickly transitioning he got Tōru's attention and pointed up at me.

When his eyes met mine, I could immediately see a change in his demeanor, his eyes lighting up with a vigor unlike anyone else. He made a small heart with his hands as he walked back behind the court line, I returned the gesture, and Tōru started his serving routine.

The rest of the game flew by, it really was one of the most captivating volleyball games I'd seen. Both teams fought viciously; any bystander could feel the hunger between the two teams, but our team's skill was just higher than the other's. The match ended with Seijoh on top, 33-31, and upon their win I ran down to the entrance to the gym so I could meet Tōru.

~

I had been beyond crestfallen when I'd gotten the text from y/n saying that they had a practice match. It had been ages since they'd come to one of my games, so I was really looking forward to having him here, but I should've known that something would come up.

Iwa thinks that's why we lost the second set, because I thought y/n would have arrived by then, but ultimately didn't show. If I'm being honest, I had given up on them showing up, I knew he wouldn't abandon his team or a practice match just to watch my game.

To say I was shocked when Iwa yelled at me to look in the stands, is a major understatement. When I saw them there, waving and smiling at me from the stands, nearly falling into the court from leaning so hard against the rail, I knew my heart skipped a beat or two. He looked a bit crazy, if I had to guess it was raining and he just sped from his game to here without changing. They looked fantastic in their soccer uniform, the jersey being a bit snug helped show off some of his great features, plus his skin glistened from the rain and probably sweat that coated his skin. That is, not to mention, the look on his face as they watched me, pride and love just emanating from his eyes and smile.

I felt a new energy run through me after I saw them, and we battled the shit out of Karasuno, but they held their ground. I was almost happy for Tobio, he played...better than he used to. I wouldn't say well or great, but he was improving if ever slowly.

When the match ended and we thanked the fans, I didn't see y/n up there anymore, but I wasn't worried. I knew where they'd be.

As we wrapped things up, I half-ran to the entrance of the gym and saw my lovely partner waiting for me. They nearly tackled me in a hug, telling me how proud they were and how incredible the game was. It felt amazing to hear that, and to know that they actually had seen me play rather than had just heard me tell him about it.

I kissed him when he had paused, and I could feel him smiling beneath my lips. He laced his fingers together and rested them on my lower back, keeping me closer to them while my hands were on his face. We stayed like that for a few minutes, trading kisses and just enjoying the moment we had together that came so rarely.

Eventually, y/n pulled their face away from mine and watched my eyes for a handful of seconds before he decided to say anything.

"I told you I'd be here." They said, a slight smirk emerging on their face.

I rolled my eyes, "You said that you'd be able to watch the whole thing! You only got to see the last half of the final set!" He pulled his hands off of my back and put them up in front of him defensively.

"Hey it's not my fault! I checked my email again and I didn't see anything from anybody about a match today! I really did think I had the day off from practice matches!" I sighed as dramatically as I could, and let the topic drop.

Though suddenly remembering what he'd looked like when they'd got here I asked, "Why did you look soaked when you got here? And you're still in your uniform and your hair is..." My eyes widened a bit, and y/n laughed, coming his hands through their wet hair a few times, catching a snag or two from whatever had gotten it so wet and frazzled.

"We were still playing our match when it started just dumping rain, and the coaches canceled the rest of it. Since it was just Date Tech and they're not too far away, they didn't feel bad about canceling the match rather than trying to move it inside." I hummed, that made enough sense. "I had to call a taxi to get here though, and that poor driver was so mad at me for getting in her car soaked through, so she tossed me a towel and a disposable umbrella and I tried to dry off before I got here." They gestured to the somewhat dryer parts of their uniform, but shook their head chuckling in defeat. "I guess I didn't do a great job."

"Yeah you're gross, and in desperate need of a shower and dry clothing." Y/n only aggressively nodded, but claimed that all of their stuff was either still in his locker at the school or super dirty and in his bag.

I was trying to think of something to do when Iwa joined us, laughing at y/n's state. They joked back and forth about how gross the other looked, when Iwa tossed me my duffle bag. "You left this in the gym, I thought maybe you'd forgotten it. And dude," He said shaking his head at y/n, "You seriously gotta do something, you smell like shit."

"Thank you so much Iwa I had no idea, your input is so appreciated and valued and will be thought about heavily throughout the rest of my life." Y/n loudly and sarcastically proclaimed.

"Damn right!" Iwa sneered back, their bickering finally coming to an end. Iwa excused himself to help pack up the team's things, and it was just me and y/n again.

Looking down at the bag Iwa had thrown to me, I had an idea. "Y/n," I said, gathering his attention from his previous interaction, "I've got a spare club t-shirt and a pair of sweats in here that you can wear after you rinse off. I'll just put my jacket on and wear my uniform on the way back."

He tried to protest, insisting that I get changed since I just finished a game, but I wouldn't have it. Y/n was almost shivering and I could tell he was trying to hide it, they were barely dry from the rain, and they'd worked hard during the practice match not that long ago. When he'd conceded, I showed them where the showers were and left my bag with him, deciding to just sit outside the room and wait for him.

I pulled out my phone, and found that there were a handful of notifications from different social apps and my messages. I checked my messages first, seeing that they were nearly all from y/n, he'd texted me what they thought of a play every time it happened. I smiled, that was one of their more adorable habits. The other notifications were mentions from pictures that y/n had added to their stories or had just posted of me and the team.

I loved having y/n here to watch my games, I loved having their support and their love during these important times of my life. It meant the world to me that they supported me through all of this, even if they couldn't watch the game live. I could only hope to return the favor the next game they had.

Y/n emerged from the washroom, now looking much more put together, and also looking quite well in my clothes. They were a bit small on them in a few places, but I knew they wouldn't mind, and I certainly didn't care either.

"I saw your messages, and the stuff you posted, all very cute!" I grinned, him smiling back at me and taking my free hand, helping me stand up.

"I've gotta let the world know how proud and lucky I am to be with you." I felt my face flush, and he took the opportunity to land a quick kiss on my lips before pulling me towards the exit of the building. "Come on sunshine, we can't keep everybody waiting, they'll start making up stories."

I knew he was right, and together we went back out to meet everyone else.

[quotidian-oblivion]

Fic Stats Game

Got tagged by @uncertainwallflower for this game and THANKS SO MUCH!!

Rules: Give us links to your fics with the most hits, second most kudos, third most bookmarks, fourth most comments, fifth most words, and fic with the least amount of words.

Most hits

My School’s Local Mafia Boss

I think the title really explains it all? But anyway:

Jason knew that attending a rich ass school was going to be the toughest and most mind-grating thing ever. His beliefs were confirmed when he got cornered by bullies on his first day. The only thing he was surprised about was that it took them so long to find the school's new street rat. Just as he's about to be punched, a fucking 10 year old (he's actually 12) steps in and... starts threatening the bullies? And they actually listen?? What the fuck???

And that isn't the only surprise that's waiting for him.

Yep, knew it would be this one. I'm so proud of it

Second most kudos

Sometimes You Have To Find Your Own Genes

Timothy Jackson Drake just wants peace. So far, it’s going well with his time as Robin and hanging out with Batman and Nightwing while the occasional messy, violent visits from his parents. But when a certain someone comes back from the dead and reveals the secret he was honing and hiding for most of his life... well, it basically all goes to shit.

The multichap fics have the most stats cuz... they're multichaps. They appear in the filters more often

Third most bookmarks

Phone Alarms

"Just imagine Jason recording Batman angrily yelling "Nightwing!" then setting it as the sound of Dick's phone alarm so in the next morning when it goes off he flips the fuck out"

Saw the prompt on Pinterest. Wrote this in one setting.

I'm actually really proud of this one, might reread it

Fourth most comments

Can You Deduce Where I Am Now?

As soon as he woke up after coming back from Titans Tower, the second Dick and Bruce stepped into the room, Tim had eagerly told them that Jason was alive and that he was Red Hood! They didn’t believe him, blaming it on lack of sleep and the haze being shot brought, but Tim was sure he saw Jason. Older, bigger, with a white streak in his fringe, but still Jason.

OR

Tim goes out to find Jason to bring his big brother back home. Jason... Jason has other matters to ponder on before deciding to come back.

I love this fic!! I went through like three or four different plots before writing it right before posting it (i write everything before posting). And then Cyg came in and beta-ed it so that was fun!

Fifth most words

Let Them Be Siblings

After the Waynes burst through his door and whisk him away from his parents and their harsh belting, their plane blows up, leaving Tim an orphan. Living in the manor is getting a little suffocating because no one seems to understand that he still loves his parents. They expect him to just “get over” his grief and—

Tim can’t stay anymore. So he runs away. And meets two very interesting people.

Least words

Regarding The Workings Of A Zoo

Damian collecting a series of increasingly non-domesticated animals and naming them after his siblings.

A drabble for 105 subscribers on ao3 and 100 followers on Tumblr!

This is 886 words i cant write small stuff, i keep blabbering

No pressure at all tags: @sardonic-sprite @tristicorde @wakkoroni @foursixtwonineoh-pieces-of-lego

[blossom-hwa]

omg same anon here that requested the model soobin + designer reader that was so good aoaajddkjjjs&#@*kdj thank you ☆_☆

also i feel like i might have sent a similar ask to the following (maybe tumblr ate it) but if no one yet has straight up asked for taehyun fandancer au then plz taehyun fandancer au. and/or any other txt members in the same au if you want (no pressure to again though it's ok !!!)

I am so late...it's fine it's fine it's fine LMAO anyway idk if anyone is still looking for their drabbles from the summertime fest, but I'm trying to do them now - hope y'all enjoy :)

this is an excerpt from a fic idea I'm trying to flesh out; it might be a little confusing but here's the gist - fan dancer mc is trying to hide soobin, the missing crown prince, from those who want to kill him, and in the meantime taehyun is trying to court them and mc desperately wants to say yes but can't because caring for soobin is first priority (they promised a friend). horrible dilemmas I feel for mc so bad (I want taehyun too &lt;/3)

summertime drabble fest: send me an idol from the list (Stray Kids, Ateez, TXT, Seventeen) + a prompt (check out the post for ideas) and I’ll write a drabble for you!

REQUESTS CLOSED!

~

Title: In the Eyes of the Night

Pairing: Taehyun x gender neutral!reader

Word count: 2.1k

Genre: slight angst, fan dancer!mc and nobility!Taehyun

Warnings: mentions of blood

~

Once backstage you nearly fall onto one of the benches behind the gauzy curtains that frame the dais, dropping your fans and gingerly taking off first your shoes, then the wrappings around your feet. They come away sweaty and smelly, which is only to be expected, but a pained hiss escapes your lips as you peel cloth off the blisters that burst during your time on the stage, leaving stains of yellow and red on the fabric.

Your stomach drops. It's not as if you had expected anything less, not after what happened last night, but seeing the mess of blood and pus in the light somehow makes it all worse.

"Need some help?" Juyeon's deep voice sounds overhead. You meet his concerned smile with a wry grimace of your own. "Don't worry about me," you reply, already grabbing one of the clean towels nearby. "Your performance is next, right? You should go prepare. I'll be fine."

His eyes flicker over to the clock on the wall and a grimace of his own passes over his lips as he registers how little time he has left. "I'll send someone with water," he promises. "Clean your feet properly."

"Thanks, Juyeon. I'll be fine," you reassure him, even as the stinging pain threatens to bring tears to your eyes. "It's just a few blisters."

Juyeon disappears into the gauzy curtains, and you take the moment alone to stretch your feet onto the bench. Stars above, your legs ache something awful. Normally you would just attribute this to the endless cycle of performance and practice, but all that running around yesterday took everything out of you. The adrenaline of the chase, the fear that you would be caught, captured - or even worse, that the prince you were hiding would be seen -

Not for the first time, you curse your friend in the shadows for saddling you with the responsibility of a missing prince. How do you hide a prince in your own tiny room? How do you keep him out of sight but still get him food, get him water, get him the basic things he needs to survive? She didn't tell you anything when she dumped him on you, didn't tell you anything except that he was the prince who the royal family had declared missing and that you needed to hide him or else people would kill him. 

You're not an assassin. You're nothing special, not like she is. You can't use a knife. You can't wield a sword. You're just a fan dancer and nothing else and the responsibility of a prince is going to kill you, if it doesn't kill him first.

Ugh. You rest a hand on your heart, forcing deep breaths. "Everything is fine," you mutter to yourself, as though saying it aloud will make it true. It is true, in a way. Your prince wasn't seen last night, for all the danger you were in. He wasn't captured. He wasn't killed. You were able to distract those who would hunt him, even if your bare feet and legs took more cuts than you were used to on the sharp stones outside. Even if it took all of your remaining energy not to collapse in a heap of silk and fans onstage. 

Gahyeon comes running over with a small basin of cold water. You thank her, brush her away when she offers to help, and begin cleaning up the mess of blood on your stinking feet. As soon as it's all cleared away and you've wrapped the open sores in clean bandages, you force yourself to stand and limp to your room. With every step, pain hisses up your legs, but you make it there in the end. 

You tap the door slightly, knocking once, twice, three times in a pattern to announce your presence. When a few knocks sound in return, you slide it open and step inside, closing it quickly behind you. 

Soobin sits in the corner of the room, looking small and hunched over for all his height. His eyes are dull, despondent. "Hello," he mumbles. 

All of your previous curses about the responsibility of a prince melt away, replaced by pity in the face of the crown prince's misery. "Hello, Your Highness," you murmur respectfully. "Are you well?"

"I'm fine," he replies quickly, which is how you know he isn't. "Are your feet alright?"

"Just a few cuts and blisters." You smile a little, trudging over to the small mirror set on one of the walls. "I'll survive."

"...I'm so sorry."

"There is no need to be," you respond firmly, turning around from touching up your makeup. "You are my prince and I swore an oath to our friend in the shadows to keep you safe. If I have to bear some pain in my feet for it, no matter. I'm a dancer, anyway." You smile at him. "I'm used to it."

He doesn't look convinced, but he doesn't try to apologize again, so you count that as a win. "You said someone helped you last night," he says, changing the subject.

Your eyebrows furrow. "Yes," you reply lowly, unwanted memories rushing back of shadows and snarls and blades flashing in the moonlight - and above all, one familiar voice shouting for you to run as his sword slashed down, starlight shimmering on the metal. 

Your heart skips a beat. Taehyun Kang. In the moment, when you couldn't breathe and couldn't think, you couldn't believe it was him. But you've replayed those seconds over and over in your mind, and there's no question anymore. Taehyun of the family Kang, one of the middle nobility who frequents your performances and has been trying to court your interest for almost two months...

He saved you. And you can't even thank him, because he didn't see your face, and you can't reveal that that was you. 

"Did you see who they were?" Soobin asks. 

You wipe your fingers on a towel by the mirror, eyes carefully downcast. "No," you reply, and truth be told, you're not sure why you lie. Maybe because you want to keep this moment to yourself. Maybe because deep down, you aren't sure it was really him. 

Maybe because you don't want to acknowledge how hard this makes everything, knowing that you owe Taehyun your life when all he professes to want is your love - and you can't even give him that, however you might want to, for fear that your duty to a missing prince will come to light and all your shadow friend's carefully-laid plans will be ruined.

"I must go now," you say, turning back around. A pair of soft slippers waits by your door and you slip them over your bandaged feet, wincing. You cast the missing prince a soft smile. "I'll be back later, with some food and water."

Soobin nods. He looks exhausted. "Thank you."

With a final smile, you slip out of the room and step lightly down the halls, forcing yourself not to limp the entire way. 

. . .

Back in the crowded main hall, Jinyoung waves you over the second you step in his direction. "Can you take the section in the corner?" he asks, gesturing to an area close to the stage. 

For the second damn time that evening, your heart skips a beat. Because before you even look over, you know who will be in that section. At least who will be taking one of the tables there. 

Taehyun. 

"Of course," you say anyway, because while Taehyun's stare may be unrelenting, he's never disrespectful - in fact, it's cute when his friends tease him for his never-ending stare and his cheeks tint with more blush than you can attribute to the alcohol. And you can't lie - you like seeing him. You like being around him. He makes you feel comfortable in a way few other men have, and even if he's been clear with his intentions, he's never forced you to make an answer to him, only greeted you with kindness and care. 

Gods above, your heart aches to finally say yes to one of his offers - to buy you a drink, to take you for a meal, to walk with you on the shoreline under the night sky. How could you not, when those sparkling eyes shine at you with all the grace and care in the world? But you can't sacrifice your duty to a missing prince for even a few nights spent in Taehyun's arms - it's too dangerous, with your friend in the shadows gone. Until she returns, and who knows when that will be, you must stay put.

A wry smile curls your lips. Stars, it would be so much easier if he were less easy to fall for. 

Someone hands you a tray of drinks, and you begin to make your way through the chaos. The first group that waves you over isn’t his. It’s a rowdy group of sailors who laugh a little too much and talk a little too loudly, but they’re harmless as they thank you for the several glasses of alcohol that you pour out on their table. The second group isn’t his either, nor the third, nor the fourth. Slowly, you wade through the chaos, flashing a pretty smile at everyone who deigns to meet your eye, filling orders as fast as you can until you find yourself near the stage. 

The music is louder here, and it slowly thrums its way through your body, settling your heart. Beomgyu is dancing now and you allow your eyes to meet his once, an encouraging smile on your lips just before you turn to serve the table to your right. Then you turn to the left. 

Taehyun's small group is a friendly sight to your eyes. Your smile grows a little as you pour out their usual drinks, laughing and bantering as they thank you. By the time you've reached Taehyun, who is on the other side of the table, you feel somewhat better. 

"Good evening, my lord." You smile softly, taking in the empty glass before him. "Would you like your usual?"

"No, Y/N, I'll be fine for tonight." His voice, soft-spoken as always and so different from the commanding shout that rang through the air last night, fusing you with the energy and adrenaline to run. And all of a sudden you're back in that moment, under the dark sky, cornered, feet bleeding, breath sharp and fast with panic...

"Y/N?"

You force yourself to breathe. To come back to earth. You dig your foot into one of the floorboards and the pain that flares from one of the blisters forces you to focus. "I apologize," you say quietly, ignoring the strange look that Taehyun is giving you now. He can't know. He won't know -

"You're limping."

His words pierce through the fog of your thoughts, hitting your ears with a startling precision.

You’re limping. 

You straighten immediately, ignoring how the pain in your feet flares when you do. “I’m sorry?”

“You’re limping,” he repeats, and one glance at him is all you need to know that you didn’t convince him at all. The dark eyes that stare at you with so much intensity fall down to the floor where your feet stand, hidden beneath your robes. When he looks back up, only gentle concern floats in his magnetic irises. “Are you all right?”

Something in his voice almost makes you tell the truth, that no, you aren’t quite fine, you probably shouldn’t have danced today but you had no choice when the only other option was to explain where all the sores in your feet came from - and for a moment, you almost feel tears well up in your eyes. What is it with him, this noble with eyes as intense as his voice can be gentle, this son of a lord who has never once taken his eyes from you but always manages to stare with a respectful distance, never once making you feel like something less than human? 

Why is he so perfect, and why is it that for all he wants you, you can't have him?

But training kicks in, the easy, bland smile lifting the corners of your lips as your exchange begins to catch the attention of the rest of his friends. Just in time, really, though there is still a little ache in your chest when you nod. “I’m fine,” you say. “Thank you for your concern, my lord, but I assure you I’m all right.” You turn away from their table, then, making sure not to limp on your way. 

No matter how much it kills your feet to do so.