#anyway i need to work to earn my bread now

[ocean-glint]

there are literally wild forests out there and we're still choosing to go to work to live in buildings?????

[heart2beom]

second lead syndrome

pairing: taehyun x gn!reader

genre: fluff, just tons of fluff

synopsis: taehyun, your neighbor, has been helping you out with beomgyu, the best friend you've been in love with for your entire life. when you finally score a date, albeit taehyuns plan working, you're in crisis.

because you start getting second thoughts.

warning: purposeful wrong tagging for more reach. sorry babes im greedy 😭 though i dont specify pronouns, this is more fem leaning!!

notes: i wrote this in only an hour, not the most quality work but i had to release something for my favorite man's birthday hello????!?! also was listening to this is what falling in love feels like by JVKE on repeat, if that helps with the reading experience. i have no idea if it does. lol as always, reblogging will help the algorithm pick this up so as a content creator, ill love you for it.

you were extremely fidgety as you looked at yourself in the mirror -- this was the fourth outfit you've changed into. you slightly chewed on your bottom lip, furrowing your brows together thinking...none of this felt real, that was one thing you were sure of. preparing to go on a date with beomgyu...it's like dying and actually walking up the stairs of heaven.

the man that was all your firsts yet, felt like a distant, unachievable dream. the man that makes you go to sleep with the biggest smile, and the man that makes you kick your feet, squealing into your pillow even after long graduating high school. he felt just like a celebrity crush. a celebrity crush, someone you'll never ever have the chance to date.

that is, until taehyun moved in next door. you heard rumors from the old ladies at the apartments' lobby that he was a genius, a young einstein if you will, graduating seoul university with top marks.

you don't know what, but something possessed you to go knock at his door's flat, pushing a welcome basket of bread in his arms, saying word for word, "teach me how to make a guy fall in love with me". of course, you managed to squeak out a please for politeness sake.

it was the built up desperation, you guessed looking back. but despite thinking highly of taehyun's mind, you never expected whatever voodoo steps he made up to actually work. sure, it took...what? like, months and twenty bucks every now and then, but it worked.

you turned away from your mirror, looking back at the man occupying your bed, cocking your head to the side.

"what? are you feeling like you're dreaming again?" he asks, mirroring your action. "want me to pinch you?"

you exhale, exhausted. "i need to change."

which taehyun sat up straight to, "again? i already told you, you look pretty."

you roll your eyes to that comment. maybe getting a man to help you prepare for a date wasn't the brightest idea you've had, though, you aren't particularly known for having bright ideas anyway.

"i need an honest opinion, but you just keep on saying oh you look good, oh you look pretty" you mock, deepening your voice to mimic taehyuns'. before he could retaliate, you add "and it's not helping, at all."

it was silent for a while, until he folded his arms,"you want me to give my honest opinion?" he asked. and you nod, frantically at that.

"brutally honest, hit me with the straight, cold facts." you say, preparing yourself by straightening your shoulders.

"well, for one" he starts, to which you take a deep breath at anticipation, "you'll never make it on time for your dream date. that's one fact."

you groan, walking in your stupidly long heels to sit on the edge of your bed, next to taehyun. "okay, well, that's a given at this point. give me something else."

"and you're incredibly, weirdly nervous for a movie date with your best friend. that's another fact." he had put his phone face down next to him, now with his legs crossed, as he looked out for your reaction.

"taehyun." you drawl, beyond annoyed.

"what?", he asked innocent, like he wasn't just taunting you. all you did was give him a death glare, which earned an airy laugh from him.

"alright, i'll be serious now, i promise." he said, scooching up to sit directly by your side now, his legs touching yours with how close he was.

"starting with your face— don't get mad, you asked for this." he warned with a raised finger, which made you nervously gulp. did you really look that bad? you nodded to reassure him to continue anyway—you weren't going to risk going to this date looking bad.

"your eyes; the glitter, though it helps pull your whole look together," he makes a hand gesture, your breath hitched in your throat, as you nodded for him to continue "it's dull when you compare it to your eyes."

you furrow your brows, incredibly puzzled. "what does that mean?"

"your eyes shine more" he said with a cheeky grin, your mouth left agape at his playfullness.

"glitter doesn't shine. you..you suck at flirting." you said hitting his shoulder, letting out an unbelievable scoff.

he fauxes hurt as he rubs his shoulder, "this isn't flirting, i'm being very honest right now!"

you roll your eyes, a smile tugging at your lips. "mhm"

he shrugs, "i'm not going to continue if you don't believe me."

"okay, okay. i believe you, continue kang."

"alright. so, your brows," you nod. "perfectly trimmed, which..." he leans closer to your face, his thumb grazing your eyebrows. you didn't expect the sudden closeness, so your breath was hitched, stuck right in your throat. "which is good. there's no little hairs in between, or surrounding them."

he moves away after what felt like a whole hour, in reality, was just a few seconds. only beomgyu ever got that close to you — that's your justification for your heart quickening at the proximity. you just got reminded of beomgyu, that was it.

"going well so far." you breathed out, finally being able to talk.

"yeah? told you you don't look bad." you narrowed your eyes. "taehyun. you're not doing this just to say i told you so are you? that's, like, cheating!"

taehyun sighed. "y/n, do you think i'm trying to sabotage you or something? i'm not. i'm not praying on your downfall, i'm being honest."

your previously furrowed eyebrows turned into pleading ones, filled with insecurity. "yeah?"

"yeah." you looked up to see his eyes. they always calmed your anxiousness, you found that the eyes are the doors of the soul saying couldn't have matched anyone more than it did taehyun, you knew everything just by looking at them. and this time, when you looked at them, it was almost overwhelming how they looked back at you with such softness — sincerity.

so overwhelming, your heart picked up at a faster speed, once again. what was up with you?

"okay, now, your lips," and again, his thumb. the one responsible to all of this. it was on your lips, going back and forth on the bottom one, then facing it to his eyes. he looked a bit taken back, kind of shocked.

"what?" you ask with your brows raised. he turns his thumb to you, with an amused smile spread on his face, "there's no red."

you let out an airy laugh, he was way too cute. "well, yeah, it's a no smudge matte lipstick. it's impossible to get off without makeup wipes."

"huh. then, that's good. you can kiss beomgyu without it being all messy." you nod slowly to that. "hey, on that note, refrain from giving me details about the kiss... if it happens."

you're quick to retaliate with a scoff. "it will happen, why won't it happen? it'll happen!"

he shakes his head, which earns an offended expression from you. "i'm just saying, you're the biggest coward i know."

"you're the biggest coward i know." you replied immaturely.

"i'm going to...i'm going to ignore that lame comeback and pretend it wasn't awful." he said, taking a look at his phone. "it's about to be ten...are you feeling less..insecure?"

you look at your heels, then back at him with a smile. "think so, yeah."

when you finally lock your door with keys, taehyun hovering over your back, you turn to him chirply. you're ready, you're ready to go out with beomgyu.

"so." you started, looking up at him, a large smile on your face. "thank you, taehyun. seriously. i know it was kind of weird at first, like you know, spending a lot of time with a stranger but to be completely honest—"

"it wasn't." he interrupted.

"huh?"

"it wasn't weird spending so much time with you."

"oh—well, uh" again, taehyun catches you off guard with his aloofness, making you stutter like an idiot, completely forgetting your monologue.

it didn't help that taehyun somehow was closer than you thought, way closer than the usual arm length. seriously, what was up with the proximity?

when you catch a glimpse of his eyes, it was again, so soft, waiting for you to say something. then, when taehyuns hand found its way tucking a strand behind your ear, you couldn't hear anything anymore. your heartbeat was magnified to your ears, despite seeing that his mouth was moving, saying something, you couldn't focus.

he waved a hand at your face, and you refocused again.

"think you should go now, love of your life's blowing up your phone."

"um—um yeah" you stuttered, waking up from your thoughts. "it's probably beomgyu" you muttered, smiling weakly.

"yeah," he chuckled a little, and god, was it so fucking cute. "thats why i said love of your life."

it was weird how you didn't catch that, you've always been referring to beomgyu as the love of your life, especially with taehyun.

you watched as he unlocked his door knob, looking back at you with his eyes twinkling a little under the dim hallway lights, "don't get nervous, you really do look pretty."

then he was gone, cruelly leaving you with one thought as you looked at the texts from the contact name, 'love of my life'.

you weren't ready. you weren't ready to go out with beomgyu. at all.

ending a/n: soooo how we feeling? cute? cute? readers so starstruck by taehyuns eyes and im just like..yup, same. me. this was originally apart of a very long fic i was working on, but that was scrapped, so..lol have this cute lil thing

[scarletwinterxx]

i don't know how to make eggs - mark lee scenario

I just had to😂 GO STREAM GOLDEN HOUR! it's sooooo good😭😭anyways, so this one is a prolouge of the 'mark lee dad au' you can read it here:

part1: day with dad mark lee

part2: another day with dad mark lee

part3: a day with the lee's

part4: (prologue) i don't know how to make eggs

part5: glitter pens and goodnight kisses with the Lee's

part6: first love and kisses

part7: naps and baby kicks

part8: then there was three

part9: just like you

if you have a request or scenario you want me to do, just send me a message I'll see what I can do😊💌

For my other works you can check them out here, and for my other story series’ you can check them out here.

All works are copyrighted ©scarletwinterxx 2023 . Do not repost, re-write without the permission of author.

(gif not mine, credits to rightful owner)

"Mark, babe what are you doing?"

You just woke up again after having rough morning, the morning sickness has been kicking your ass for weeks. Most of your AM has been spent with you feeling so sick, not really able to keep everything except for one thing.

"Making eggs, you can eat that right?" Mark looks over at you, taking in your appearance. In his eyes, you're so beautiful right now wearing his shirt, your pregnant tummy showing.

You see him standing by the stove with a spatula in one hand. Oh your poor adorable husband. Standing in the middle of the kitchen looking like a lost kitten.

"You don't know how to cook eggs" you told him, walking over to him to hug him. Immediately Mark returns the hug, he feels your growing belly against him making him grin. In just a few months, it will be the three of you.

"No but it's the least I could do for you"

"You do enough"

"Nonsense. This is nothing compared to you carrying our child, you're literally growing a human" he exclaims, feeling you chuckle before stepping out of his embrace. Kissing him on the cheek before taking the spatula from him.

"Yes, and your little human here only likes eggs. Unlucky for him, his dad doesn't know how to make one" you tease your husband, earning an eyeroll from him

"I'm trying! see I only broke like two"

"Good job" you indulge him, taking few more eggs from the tray to cook for the two of you.

"I'm a big boy, I can cook"

"You can cook as good as I can ride a bike" you tell him, putting oil on the pan he was using. You can feel Mark from behind you, "You don't know how to ride a bike, baby"

"Exactly"

"You're mean, you've never been mean to me. This isn't you, this is pregnancy talking" he says, hugging you from behind and resting his chin on your shoulder. You just laugh at his statement.

Mark has always been an attentive partner, it's like he has a 6th sense dedicated only to you. He knows if you need something without even saying it, sometimes he knows it before you do. But after finding out you're pregnant with your first child, his son, he's been extra protective of you.

"And who's fault is it hm?"

"Baby, don't act like I'm the only one at fault here"

"Sure sure" you tease him, he stays there hugging you from behind while you cook eggs. "Okay big boy, think you can handle putting the bread in the toaster?"

He chuckles, letting go of you before getting the bread to do as you said.

"Then set up the table, please. Thank you, love you"

"You're really not letting me cook for you?" You can hear the pout in his voice, just in time you finish cooking. You put it on the plate before facing him, passing it over to him.

"I can do it, don't worry too much. I can still do things you know"

"I know, but still" he says

"Mark baby, trust me you'll be the first one to know if I need help okay? For now, stay out of my kitchen. Nothing good comes out when you go there" you tease him

"The last time we were there, we ended up with kid on the way so I wouldn't say nothing good comes out of it" he counters, a cheeky smile on his face

"Lee Minhyung!" you scold him, hitting him on the shoulder. Mark just laughs as he put food on your plate before his.

"I'll shut up now, now be a good girl and eat. You gotta stay healthy, baby boy's gonna get hungry then you're gonna get hangry"

"I don't get hangry" you tell him defensively, but he might be on the right this time. He raises a brow at you, "You were mad at me yesterday because I ate the last mozzarella stick"

"I was saving it! I was waiting for it the whole day then you ate it, you didn't have to remind me now I want more" you pout, Mark leans close to you. Cupping your cheeks before giving a short but sweet kiss,

"We can get more later, whatever you want name it. I'll get it"

"Be careful with your words, Lee. Your son is craving all sorts of weird foods, you're about to drive miles for it"

"You or him? okay okay him"

[lola-babylon]

Running the numbers on Brendon, Ryan, and owning the Panic! at the Disco legacy

Some people are a bit upset that Brendon Urie continued performing as PATD after Jon & Ryan left, or after Spencer & Dallon left. One of the primary criticisms you see floating around is that, by using the Panic name for his solo career from 2015-2023. Brendon was profiting off of Ryan's legacy as the main songwriter on the early albums.

Let's dig into that, especially the "profit" bit.

I've seen jokes about Ryan Ross working retail now cause he's broke. We don't know what Ryan does with his days and it's none of our business unless he chooses to share that information publicly, but AFYCSO alone has been certified 4x Platinum in the US, having sold 4 million copies. Ryan, being the main songwriter on the album, would one hopes receive a decent income stream for the royalties and has no need to work a job he doesn't want to pay the bills (recording contracts are usually a Kafkaesque nightmare, but hopefully they had a decent contract where the artists get a fair share of royalties, that it isn't all chewed up by record companies).

But if you look at the album sales over time, this is where it gets interesting.

(well, interesting to a stats and facts wonk)

Here's the Recording Industry of America's certification record for AFYCSO - you can check for yourself here

The album went platinum, meaning sales of a million copies, in 2006, a year after it was released. It took another 9 years for the album to double that figure, selling 2 million copies by 2015 and achieving 2x platinum. But then things took off, with AFYCSO reaching 4 million sales by June 2023 and the resulting 4x platinum certification.

But what stands out here is this - AFYCSO was released in 2005. And fully half of all sales of AFYCSO took place after 2015.

2015 was the year that Panic became a solo project of Brendon Urie's. It also marked the start of the period of some of the band's highest sales since the early days, including their first number one charting album, a second number one album, and (Jebus, please save us from) the single "High Hopes". And Brendon toured extensively - musicians used to tour to encourage people to buy their albums; now that most music is digital musicians rely touring as their largest source of income, which is one of the reasons why a ticket to see Led Zeppelin on their 1975 U.S. tour cost $31 adjusted for inflation to 2023 dollars, but seeing any decently sized musical act in concert these days will set you back well over $100 and that's just for starters.

(I told you I was a stats wonk).

Anyway, through all that work, Brendon was using the Panic name, sure. Was he entitled to? That's not my point here. What he was doing was keeping the Panic name in the public mind, entertaining old fans and winning new ones (not my thing, but again that's not my point) and in those years, those fans purchased 2 million copies of AFYCSO, and as the main songwriter on the album Ryan has received the largest share of the royalties from those sales. Ryan earned and was entitled to that money, of course, but would AFYCSO have sold two million copies between 2015 and 2023 if Brendon had retired the Panic name and continued as a solo artist?

Let's be realistic. No.

When people heard High Hopes or any of the other post split music, they were hearing a Panic at the Disco song. If they liked it, they'd look up the artist Panic at the Disco, find the band's earlier work, and buy/stream it. If they'd heard High Hopes as a Brendon Urie song, and looked up the artist Brendon Urie, is it likely they'd have followed the bread crumb trail, learned about this now defunct band called Panic at the Disco Brendon used to be in, and bought that band's stuff too?

We could go back to 2004/2005 and debate whether Panic would have made it as big as they did back then without Ryan's songwriting skills and determined online hustling of the band. Or without Brendon's vocals and stage presence, or Spencer's creative vision for their image and live performances. Or without that they were all so young, they were just crazy brave enough to put their all into the band when if they'd been only a few years older, they might have been worried about the future enough to stay in or go to college, or train as a hairdresser or whatever. Or for that matter whether they had all that, and the right sound at the right time, and made the right connections, oh and they weren't exactly bad looking. There's so many reasons bands do or don't make it. Just talent is never enough. Trying to work out which parts of Panic's early success were due to the respective talents of Ryan, Spencer, and/or Brendon nearly 20 years on is like trying to unscramble an egg (even Brent paid a role, through the loans his parents provided to help pay for the band's practice space and van for the early tours). But it's unrealistic to say Panic was a success solely because of Ryan or that Brendon trampled all over that to get to the top solo. Either way....

Brendon Urie continuing as Panic has been, financially, very benefical for Ryan. Brendon continuing with the Panic name has meant AFYCSO was from 2015-2023 the first album of a very successful currently touring act, and not a footnote to Brendon Urie's career from his now defunct first band (I don't see it that way at all - this post is about album sales and money, not artistic integrity). And Ryan has received the royalties from albums that would never have been sold if PATD officially disbanded in 2009 or 2013 or whatever.

And whilst Ryan has been at home restoring antique cuckoo clocks or whatever he chooses to do, Brendon's been missing his family, home, and dogs, getting up at 4am to catch flights, living out of suitacses, answering inane interview questions, sleeping on tour buses and wondering what country he's in today - and, indirectly, making Ryan money. If Ryan only cared about money he probably would have continued on with Panic past 2009, but I'm sure the royalties he's received since 2015 haven't been a burden either. I'm not saying Ryan owes Brendon anything, he doesn't, and Brendon only lived that life because he loved it, or thought the performing bit made it all worth it (along with making a bunch of money for himself).

This post has focused on AFYCSO, though of course Ryan also gets royalties from Pretty. Odd, which has had a long overdue reappraisal from audiences who realise it's really fucking good. (I'll use the correct punctuation this once, but there was no way I was going to add an exclamation point every time I typed the word panic). Anyway, crunching the numbers on one album was enough. But Brendon didn't profit off of Ryan's legacy by continuing as Panic. It's been very profitable for them both.

[peachy-panic]

Two Way Street

Part of Do No Harm. Takes place after this chapter. 

WARNINGS: BBU/BBU-Adjacent, lots of talk around food, references to past noncon, fear of future noncon, trust issues

Sebastian knocks twice, waiting for an affirmative sound on the other side before opening the bedroom door. He nudges it with his hip—a little too hard, accidentally—and has to catch it with his foot before it hits the wall. Somehow, he just manages to keep the two plates balanced in his hands and shoots Jaime a sheepish smile.

“Hey,” he says. “I made breakfast. Um. Well, I guess it’s brunch, now. Sorry about that. Do you like egg sandwiches?”

Jaime looks up at him from where he sits against his bed—on the floor instead of the mattress itself, and Sebastian wonders if he should add another talk about the furniture allowances to his list. One crisis at a time.

“Do you mind if I sit with you for a bit?”

Jaime starts to shake his head, then pinches his eyes shut and clears his throat. “No. I don’t mind.”

He sinks down onto the floor beside him and hands Jaime a plate. Jaime seems to watch him for a cue, waiting until Sebastian has taken his first bite before allowing himself to pick his sandwich up, but at least he doesn’t wait for explicit permission. That’s a small win.

Sebastian allows himself a few seconds of stalling as he chews his first bite. “We don’t have to talk about what happened in the kitchen,” he says once he swallows. “If you want to unpack it, I’m more than happy to listen, but you should know I’m not expecting an explanation out of you. You don’t owe me or anyone else that.”

Jaime takes another small bite, and Sebastian takes some small comfort in watching it happen, seeing at least one of his needs met.

“That said, I do feel like I owe you some words. First of all, I’m not upset with you. Not even a little. The glass is cleaned up, brunch is served, you never have to think about it again. Not on my account, anyway.”

They mirror a halfhearted smile at each other, like they both know how unlikely that is.

“Second,” Sebastian says, and then takes a deep breath because he wants this to come out right. “I’m not really picky when it comes to food. Or coffee. Especially coffee. Oat milk and sugar if it’s there, but you could also probably put raw coffee beans in a cup of room temperature water and I’d drink it in a pinch.”

This earns a slow blink, which… yeah, fair. Sebastian keeps talking.

“I usually keep the breakfast staples around the house—eggs, bread, cereal, milk—and you really can’t go wrong with most combinations derived from that, but most of the time, especially during the work week, I end up running out of time for anything more than a granola bar on the way out the door.”

He pauses long enough to swallow another bite of his sandwich and give Jaime time to process.

“So now you know what I like. And what about you?”

Jaime freezes with his sandwich halfway to his mouth. A glob of melted cheese splashes down onto his plate. “About me?”

Sebastian nods. “I understand that it might make you feel more comfortable to have something productive to do. To help out.” He leans into the comfort of Ezra’s words on the phone, trusting them to be true. Feeling useful is going to be the one safety net he has at first. You shouldn’t take that away from him completely, even with the best of intentions.

“So,” he continues. “If you happen to wake up before me, like today, and feeling productive for you means making something in the kitchen, I’m not going to be mad if you pour me an extra cup. But that comes with a few caveats.”

That seems to be the part Jaime was expecting. His shoulders stiffen slightly and he looks directly into Sebastian’s eyes, signaling that he is listening.

“One,” Sebastian ticks off on his fingers, “is that you try your best to remember that this is not an obligation you have to fulfill. There’s no pressure. That’s the most important. Two, if you’re making something for me, I want it to be because you’re already making something for yourself. If I’m enjoying the fruits of your labor, so are you. And three is that I am allowed to make things for you sometimes, too. Or that we make things together. I think this should be a two way street.”

Jaime nods, holding his gaze for a few more seconds before dropping it to the sandwich in his lap. His thin fingers tear off a corner of the bread, popping it into his mouth. Sebastian tries not to watch his expression too intently as Jaime chews. Finally, he swallows and opens his mouth, closes it briefly, then opens it again.

“I like milk and sugar?” he says quietly. “I’ve never tried oat milk, but I’d probably like it. I’m not picky about food either. I like… this.” He gestures to his half-eaten sandwich. “This is good.”

A smile pulls at Sebastian’s mouth. “Thank you,” he says, and he means it for more than the compliment. “I’ll keep that in mind.”

-- -- --

Jaime can tell the conversation isn’t over, and he can read the tension in Sebastian’s posture that makes his own muscles coil in anticipation.

“There is one more thing I wanted to run by you,” Sebastian says finally. “And, to preface, this doesn’t need to be anything immediate. Just something that might be good for both of us going forward.”

Jaime nods, because he can see Sebastian is waiting for his response to go on.

“I have… a friend,” Sebastian says. “I don’t want to say too much right away, because it isn’t my story to tell. But he’d like to meet you, when you’re ready, and I think it would be a good idea, too.”

And Jaime feels something in his stomach go tight and cold. He pulls a slow, deep breath in through his nose, fighting to keep his eyes steady on Sebastian and reminding himself, over and over, that Sebastian isn’t Mr. Torley. He isn’t him. But Jaime can suddenly smell his friend’s cologne so clearly, can feel the cold bathroom tile under his bare feet and under his knees, and remembers exactly what it feels like to be introduced to a Keeper’s friend.

“He’s a really nice guy,” Sebastian continues, apparently unaware of Jaime’s budding panic. “I promise, I wouldn’t let him anywhere near you if I didn’t believe that completely. He actually… Well, he knows Aria—From the clinic, remember? That’s how I met him.”

A really nice guy. Jaime had met a lot of those. He thought Thomas was a really nice guy for the first couple hours of knowing him. He thought Bryan was a nice guy. The occasional facility worker. The man from the bar.

Nice guys wait until no one is looking. Nice guys press your back against the bathroom door and tell you, “I hope he doesn’t treat you too badly,” and “I wouldn’t want to get you into any trouble,” and “you have to know what you look like.”

Jaime must not be concealing his panic very well anymore, because there is a familiar crease growing between Sebastian’s brows that means he is watching Jaime like he might fall apart at any moment. Again.

“Like I said,” Sebastian reiterates quickly, “it’s not anything pressing. I know… I mean, I can only imagine how difficult it must be to settle into a new place like this. We probably shouldn’t even talk about this seriously for a couple weeks at least. One thing at a time, okay?”

Jaime swallows and forces himself to smile back at him, even though the half-sandwich in his stomach has turned to stone.

“Okay.”

-- -- --

The evening finds them on the living room couch—the couch this time, and not the floor, which Sebastian counts as a small win. A laugh track for some show Sebastian had seen reruns of a hundred times drones in the background, but he gets the feeling neither one of them are paying attention.

They had spent the day performing a carefully choreographed dance of staying out of each other’s way in the most polite way possible. Fun as that was, Sebastian knows it’s not a sustainable way to play this contract out. He’s mentally exhausted and knows that it’s only a fraction of what Jaime must be feeling, but he’s trying to cut himself some slack. It’s only the first full day, he reminds himself. They have six months of room to improve from here.

Sebastian goes back to work tomorrow. He hopes it’s not selfish of him to think a little breathing room might benefit both of them. As difficult a time Jaime is having getting settled in the house, Sebastian’s hovering is almost definitely making it worse.

The sound of a stomach growling breaks through his haze of stress-thoughts. Sebastian puts a hand to his stomach on instinct before realizing the noise didn’t come from him. He casts a look at a sheepish Jaime, who is clutching both arms over his stomach with reddening cheeks.

He casts a glance at the clock and feels a surge of unhelpful guilt. He had lost track of time in his own stress.

“I don’t know about you,” he says, trying for nonchalance as he stretches up into a yawn, “but I am starving. Think you could eat?”

Jaime hesitates, then nods.

An idea occurs to Sebastian, and he latches on with both hands. “Wanna try that cooking together thing we talked about earlier?”

This seems to be something Jaime can latch onto as well, much to Sebastian’s relief. He sits up, some of the hesitance draining from his expression. For a moment, Sebastian thinks about offering him a hand up from the couch, then thinks better of it and keeps his hands at his side. He smiles instead, and it feels a little easier on his face this time.

“Come on,” he says, and leads them into the kitchen.

It’s a bit of an awkward dance, at first. Sebastian is coming to accept that that’s just the way things will probably be for a while, and he has to be okay with that. Ezra was right though; the tension seemed to lessen between them when they both had something to do with their hands.

“Sorry if the ingredients are a little sparse,” Sebastian says as he cuts up a raw chicken breast. Jaime is across the island counter, dicing an onion with expertly quick hands. “I stocked up on the essentials before you came, but I thought it might be a good idea for us to make a grocery list together.”

Jaime sections off a fresh pile of onion and swipes the papery outer layer into the trash bin. “I can help you make a list,” he affirms.

“Cool. Maybe we can do that over dinner.”

They—well, mostly Sebastian with a few terse nods of input from Jaime—decided on pasta. It’s fast and easy and difficult to fuck up in any significant way. There is leftover pizza from the night before in the fridge, but Sebastian already promised himself he wouldn’t subject Jaime to the diet of a sad bachelor just because that’s what he’s used to himself.

Although, it’s worth noting that Sebastian has done better for himself recently. And he has Jaime to thank for that.

“You want to know something?” he says, turning to the sink to wash the chicken juice off his hands. “I was never much of a cook until recently. I never really had a reason to be. Cooking full meals for one feels kind of depressing. It wasn’t until we started having lunch together in the clinic that I even felt the need to keep groceries stocked in the kitchen.”

The sink is positioned so that Sebastian is angled slightly away, so he only catches a glimpse of Jaime’s reaction. There’s a half-second pause in the movement of his knife before he continues seamlessly. In the reflection of the window in front of him, Sebastian can almost convince himself he sees a small smile.

His eyes land on his phone when he reaches for the hand towel. The mention of their time in the clinic together sparks a memory.

“Do you mind if I put on some music?” he asks. “I like to have something to listen to while I work.”

He remembers peering through the office door to find Jaime’s finger tapping along with the beat of some song playing from Sebastian’s cheap speakers. He remembers thinking it was the first time he’d ever seen Jaime look content.

“Any requests?” Sebastian asks as he thumbs through his playlists.

Jaime’s knife pauses again, just for a second. “I liked what you used to play in your office. At the clinic,” he says before resuming his work. “But I’m fine with whatever you like.”

He tries to match Jaime’s casual tone when he says, “Cool,” but he can barely contain his elation at finally getting something right.

Sebastian hits play on his favorite chore playlist and lets the music soften the space between them.

There is less pressure to fill the silence when there isn’t any. Sebastian takes advantage of that for a while and lets the two of them work in tandem without speaking more than what is necessary to pass the next ingredient. He sneaks a few looks in Jaime’s direction and doesn’t think he’s imagining the way the tension seems to lessen in his shoulders as the minutes go on.

When it’s time to combine the ingredients for the sauce, Jaime takes the helm at the stove almost instinctively. He seems content to be there, so Sebastian doesn’t argue. Instead, he backs himself against the adjacent counter and hoists himself onto it. “You’re a natural,” he observes, watching Jaime fold the vegetables into the simmering pan of chicken.

Jaime flashes a quick look in his direction, not quite meeting his eyes. “I like cooking.”

“Yeah?”

He shrugs, then nods.

“Well. You’re good at it.” Sebastian stops, hesitates, then decides to take a chance. “Anything else you like to do?”

The wooden spoon never stops moving against the bottom of the pan, but there is a slight shift in Jaime’s posture that makes Sebastian regret shattering the fragile moment. He wants to take it back, but before he can, Jaime speaks up, soft and tentative.

“I like to run,” he says. “I used to like to run.”

Sebastian takes that in, along with the desperate longing in his voice. He wonders when the last time was that Jaime got to run freely.

“Well,” Sebastian says, leaning forward. “I can honestly say I’ve never related to something less in my life. But this is a pretty quiet street and it probably wouldn't kill me to invest in my cardiovascular health every once in a while, so if you ever want a buddy to go running with…”

He trails off when the full intensity of Jaime’s big, brown eyes turn on him.

“What?” Sebastian asks, immediately worried he has said something wrong.

Jaime takes a minute to study his face, then swallows. “You would let me run?”

Don’t react. Don’t fucking react, because breaking down into tears as the raw, earnest hope in his expression isn’t going to help anyone.

“Sure,” Sebastian says, though a little bit of the vowel gets lost in his throat.

“And you would… come with me?”

Sebastian shrugs. “If you wanted me to, yeah. Though I make no promises you won’t have to fireman-carry me back when I pass out from exhaustion.”

That wide-open gaze lingers on him for a little while longer before Jaime blinks and turns back to the task at hand. 

“Thank you,” he says quietly.

They let the music claim the room once again. The next time Sebastian glances his way, Jaime’s finger is tapping against the spoon.

--

TAG LIST: @whumpervescence @shiningstarofwinter @distinctlywhumpthing @whumptywhumpdump @nicolepascaline @anotherbluntpencil @hold-him-down @crystalquartzwhump @maracujatangerine @batfacedliar-yetagain @thecyrulik @van-whumps @finder-of-rings @melancholy-in-the-morning @insaneinthepaingame @skyhawkwolf @whump-for-all-and-all-for-whump @mylifeisonthebookshelf @dont-touch-my-soup @whump-world @inpainandsuffering @cicatrix-energy @quietly-by-myself @whumpsday @extemporary-whump @the-whumpers-grimm @thebirdsofgay @firewheeesky @whumperfully @hold-back-on-the-comfort @termsnconditions-apply @cyborg0109

[mlobsters]

supernatural s11e4 baby (w. robbie thompson)

i've seen a number of gifs from this episode and i've built it up in my mind as an episode i should enjoy which makes me nervous to watch it :S

enjoying the variety of shots being in baby's pov and the guitar man by bread, nice choice (night after night who treats you right)

very fic-ish slice of life domestic vibes. both jared and jensen seem to be leaning into their accents more than usual, i often wonder about that. what decides when they do it, if it's a choice (i can only imagine it is). anyway, it's very... homey. relaxed

very normal

ack making me cry with all these smiles and sweetness. robbie, this is the fanservice i needed (and deserved). goddamn what a breath of fresh air it's like concentrated version of old times with just the two of them, but being relaxed and happy for a minute as the cherry on top.

DEAN Piper? That's awesome. Heather. One-night wonders, man. Shoot, we're lucky we still get that at all. SAM Really? You don't... ever want something more? DEAN I'm sorry, have you met us? We're batting a whopping zero in domestic life, man. Goose eggs. SAM You don't ever think about something? Not marriage or whatever. But... something? You know, with a hunter? Somebody who understands the life? DEAN Have you not heard a single word Bob's been singing about? You're tired. I can tell. You're exhausted. Well, I'm still wired, so I'm gonna pull over, get some gas. You hop in the back, get some Z's 'cause, buddy, you earned 'em. Proud of ya! Piper. Mmm. Man, she smelled good, too.

yes, sam, you're right. dean should consider settling down with a hunter—oh wait. wonder what that "have you not heard a single word bob's been singing about" means though. i'm not that familiar with his catalogue of work :p

was someday soon in this show before or am i getting weepy over it because it was used in a fic? signs point to a fic

He loves his damned old rodeo As much as he loves me Someday soon, going with him Someday soon

--

JOHN You okay, pal? You look a little spooked. It's nice to be back behind the wheel. Looks like Dean's taken good care of this old beast. Seems like he's taken good care of you, too.

literally sobbing what even is happening. wish fulfillment that dean could get the parental approval and validation that he did a good job with sam, and acknowledging how much he did raising him.

and this has nothing to do with my own dead father issues and desperate desire for approval, no way.

that i'm not pissy that it's john saying it should say how much this kicked me in the gut

JOHN What you said about relationships, wanting something more... I never wanted this for you boys. This life. Not really. SAM We turned out okay. JOHN You did, didn't you? But that was on you boys. You did that, not me. SAM Well, you played your part. JOHN I did my best, anyway, for what it was worth. SAM This isn't real. JOHN I never could fool you, could I?

so is this lucifer? show brought him up making a fuss in the cage with the darkness busting out, and the whole i never could fool you thing. like he showed up as jess (??) in a dream did sam figure it out? no, he didn't know. hmmm. surely not god though :p

SAM I prayed when I was in that church, and I saw... something. And now, here you are, whoever you are, whatever you are. What the hell is this? JOHN Dream. Vision. Call it what you want. The message is still the same. The Darkness is coming... and only you boys can stop it.

again, i rag on the musical score a lot but the foley and overall sound design minus the score tends to really be noticeably good. and i really like what they did with the sound and the filming in this scene. where there's kind of a low wavering thrumming hum and their voices sound more close up. and i really liked that they didn't do any noise hits when he flashes back briefly to the torture vision, it was just a little extra very low soft bass thumping with the flashes. all that combined with these super tight close shots of their faces kind of adds to the slightly uneasy/unreality feeling. very nice

DEAN Welcome to the Winchester Motel. We don't have cable, but we do have room service. You were singing in your sleep, that song mom loved that dad used to always play for us. I think I've actually still got the tape.

great, another song i can have an additional layer of weepiness over, confirmed mom favorite.

SAM I think I've been having visions, too, lately. I mean, it's just images. I mean, more of a feeling, really. But I just had one right now, and Dad was in it. But it wasn't dad like the Dad that I grew up with. It was Dad when he was our age. And I guess it wasn't even really Dad. It was someone pretending to be Dad and -- DEAN Okay, what makes you say that? SAM For starters, he told me everything I wanted to hear.

you and me both, friend

dean really going in on the accent in this conversation in the car. i'm not one to anthropomorphize cars (i love cars and my car) but they're definitely getting to me with that whole.. baby has bore witness to so many conversations and fights and... like the hannibal quote

from s2e13 mizumono HANNIBAL You sit in that chair, as you have so many times before. It holds among its molecules the vibrations of all our conversations ever held in its presence.

also my own personal wish granted that sam would own up to something he was hiding, the visions are a start

SAM He said, "God helps those who help themselves." I mean, maybe these visions are coming from God. DEAN Whoa. Pump the brakes.

brief terror that lucifer is getting those prayers and will lead our sam the (at times) believer astray because he thinks it's god

the wins keep coming, sam telling dean about being infected. thank you, robbie, good sir. to keep things reasonable dean blows off the visions because he's mad or whatever

DEAN Come on, man. That quote? "God helps those who help themselves"? God didn't say that. That's not even in the Bible. That's an old proverb that dates way back to Aesop. I read.

it's so hit or miss on whether dean is well read or it's a joke that he doesn't know about stuff. consistency! 🥴 he read the odyssey, didn't know who calliope is, etc. i know i've talked about this before but can't find it.

DEAN I have that dream every couple of months. Kind of comforting, actually.

and dean's dream about john and having a normal life? i haven't felt this many feelings since probably s5. and all the little domestic canon tidbits they're feeding us, just wow

DEAN I know what you're trying to do here. You're trying to find some -- some greater meaning to it all. Right? Some fate to what went down. But I'm telling you, Sam. The Darkness? It's on us. And no one's gonna help us, certainly not God, so we'll have to figure this thing out, like we always do. But until then we hunt.

don't love how he's blowing him off (though i mean, not terribly unexpected), do appreciate that sam reiterated that he doesn't think it was just a dream

even in the fake recreated car interior sam looks so uncomfortably cramped. and as ever consider there's an actual roof over their heads to contend with when contemplating them full on fucking back there in fic :p

the deputy i looked up because he's a redhead and looks kinda like sheriff stilinksi from teen wolf, it's the guy that was in a different ep of spn (7x04) that i looked up because he's pale and freckly. and he was in altered carbon.

it's so interesting how natural the episode is flowing even with the rather large limitation of having everything take place in the car, and not feel gimmicky. even this little interlude with the girls on the joyride is lifted by an excellent song choice, and the scene seems to be referencing the video, and they're doing an actual car stunt that we get to see from the inside

what a banger, damn and that video is amazing. only m.i.a. song i knew was paper planes via slumdog millionaire

okay well having an emotional breakdown every 5 minutes apparently has made this such that i can't wrap this up tonight. tbc

all right i was a little higher than anticipated yesterday so we'll see if the ✨Feelings ✨are the same with nothing in my system

was thinking last night that dean would likely notice his car being dusty as shit after doing donuts in a dirt lot :P but i'm glad she got to have her fun consequence-free, and Baby too

silly

so pleased with himself. this is all very cute honestly. it could have gone over the top slapstick having to keep dealing with this were-pire that won't die, but there was some restraint. the muffled growling and snarling from the cooler is just the right kind of goofy for me (not having music i think helps)

MRS. MARKHAM Your family. You do anything for them, don't you? DEAN Absolutely. Yeah, but not if it costs too much. [ Chuckles ] MRS. MARKHAM No. You do everything for them. Everything else is meaningless.

little on the nose but i'll take it :p that extended fight scene inside the car with her was a lot but

DONELLY It's like I said, I need help, every strong hand I can find. And I need an army to fight the Darkness. Oh, it's comin', for all of us. There's nothing hunters or any human can do about it.

is there some sort of monster memo going out about the darkness? we all need to band together against the darkness!

i give my car kisses like that too LOL

awkward

<3

DEAN We'll get Cas to fix you up. SAM Only if he fixes you up, too. DEAN Okay, mom. Let's go home. SAM You know what? We are home.

thank you, robbie.

There was no score for this episode. All music was diegetic: either coming from an outside source or the Impala's cassette deck. The scenes used in the episode for the Impala's cassette deck were used from 5.22 Swan Song.

i'm not gonna say that this episode was way better for not having a score, wait. no. i am gonna say it. thank you, for that choice

During the filming of the episode, during the scenes where the Deputy Donelly attacks Dean, Jensen found the remains of the Impala that was smashed up at the end of 1.22 Devil's Trap.

i can't remember an episode i wholeheartedly enjoyed as much as this one in a long damned time. i needed that. along with some somewhat cathartic sobbing :p skin cleared, crops watered, etc

[dont-offend-the-bees]

Theories based on leaks abounding, so avoid if you don't want em, but I'm throwing my own wwdits finale theory/ideas into the pot bc I might as well

Regarding the season finale, 'Memories'

The most popular take I've seen around here is that Nandor's gonna lose his memories — either through a djinn wish or that tantalising foreshadowing about the Guide losing her memories for hooking up with a slayer. And I would love that, but you know what I'd love even more?

Guillermo losing his memories

Now hear me out!

So far this season, Nandor is getting it rubbed in his fucking face that Guillermo is important to him and that he might've missed his chance with him. Guillermo isn't rising to his jealousy bait, isn't taking up offers to see his magically enhanced dick (this fucking show), is dividing his attention to look after baby Colin and talk to his long distance secret boyfriend and presumably do Nadja's accounting (for whatever shady ass reason lmao).

Guillermo is, largely, operating as an independent person who spends time with Nandor and helps him, but doesn't need him or even technically work for him. Nandor, conversely, needs Guillermo a lot, or at the very least wants him around. He wants his help, his advice, he wants his attention. Even if he still hasn't actually consciously clocked that he has feelings for Guillermo and that his ex-familiar is the love he's been looking for, he knows that he wants Guillermo's attention and affection and time, and he's getting it but it's no longer undivided, and I think that bothers him more than he'd admit — partly bc yknow, classic Nandor abandonment issues, but also because whatever Nandor does, it all comes back to Guillermo.

And now on top of just having this strange sense of jealousy about Guillermo having other things/people in his life taking his attention, and this odd sense of discontent with his wife-to-be who is perfect on paper but still not quite clicking for reasons he can't name; on top of all that he now has to think of Guillermo during sex, too! (unless the djinn didn't actually curse him and he's just using that as an excuse for thoughts he was having anyway, of course xD)

I think as the season goes by and we get more and more ridiculous scenarios that emphasise just how throughly gone for Guillermo Nandor is, and how he needs Guillermo far more than Guillermo needs him, he's gonna get frustrated and angry and hurt. And I think it could all come to a head with a fight with Guillermo where he lashes out and wishes that he'd never welcomed him into his home, never scooped him up from that Panera Bread.

Cue Djinn.

Of course, for angst reasons, this is Nandor's last wish and he can't undo it. Which brings us to the final episode, Memories. And the reasons I adore this concept of a memory wiped Guillermo even more than Nandor are:

A) it's a culmination of this Nandor Pining era we're in. Guillermo desperately trying to make Nandor remember has angst and cuteness potential too especially in regards to like, how Nandor's feelings for Guillermo might differ if this time they didn't meet in a master-servant capacity, but also a risk of retreading ground we've already explored in things like 'The Wellness Center'. Putting Guillermo once again in the role of pursuer is a bit familiar and a bit of a step back after all his recent growth, but totally flipping their old dynamic on it's head by having Nandor be the one desperately trying to win the trust and affection of this memory-wiped Guillermo, who mostly sees this weird guy bugging him as a pushy nuisance? I'm here for it.

B) "From Panera Bread you came, and to Panera Bread you will return once again!" is now foreshadowing

C) MANY things they could do with memory-wiped Guillermo. Is he now meek and self-conscious with no self esteem again, because he earned that confidence through his trials and tribulations in the vampires' world? Did he grow in confidence a different way and now he's actually *gasp* well-adjusted? Does he SEEM well adjusted but actually under his polite every day Panera Bread manager facade he's still got something deeply fucked going on? So many great possibilities, either for exploring how he could've turned out different under different circumstances, or for showcasing just how far he's come over these 12 years and 4 seasons by showing us where he started.

D) Everyone's attempts to bring Guillermo home would just be such a beautiful way to show how he's actually wormed his way into the hearts and lives of these vampires. I mean for a fucking start, he is literally helping to raise Baby Colin Robinson this season. I think if I saw Colin talking to this man who doesn't remember him about his uncle Memo who always supported him no matter what, my lungs would cave in. And much in the same vein of Laszlo's "that would be a humiliating end for you" to Nandor, I can see him talking to shy, unassuming Panera Guillermo all serious and solemn, lamenting the man he once was and could be again if he'd just remember, damn you. And as for Nadja we'll that leads us onto point:

E) This whole situation would almost directly parallel Nadja's season one plot with Gregor/Jeff. She sees Nandor, her friend who's heartbreaks she's always found upsetting and tried to prevent (see 'Gail'), and sees him helplessly yearning for a man who might've loved him in a past life, but now doesn't remember who he is. Lbr, that's gonna hit close to home. Especially if we go with the new Guillermo is back to being a self-conscious pushover idea, after once being a man strong and deadly enough to be a bodyguard to fucking vampires, because that's exactly what happened with her warrior love Gregor becoming Jeff. I just think this parallel could open up some fucking incredible conversations between her and Nandor and memory-wiped Guillermo.

Obviously, this wouldn't address all the things we've had brought up this season, like the new Forbidden Romance angle, and this probably isn't gonna happen. But I love it and I may just have to try and write it sometime if I have the time and energy.

If anyone loses their memory, though, whoever is is, I hope one of the ways their friends try to bring it back is by making them watch the documentary footage.

[decolonize-the-left]

And the race is on... News just broke that the first man to announce his plan to campaign against Biden in the 2024 elections is leftist James Segal, both a member and founder of the disbanded socialist Bread & Roses Party.

What is the Bread & Roses party? A Democratic socialist party, which explains why he didn't get many votes. (Esp when we know Dems would rather help alt right Dan Cox win than let a leftist like Segal earn a seat... But that's another post.)

And for those of you who don't feel like clicking, a lil excerpt both from the Bread & Roses Site so you can get a feel for it:

... and some of his policies from running for governor, which could give us an idea of what his presidential platform would look like.

“What I want to open up is the option of simple living,” he explains. “And basically the underlying wisdom of simple living, it's sort of the ancient wisdom. It basically [means] there is something bigger to life than getting and spending and it’s better to live frugally and work less because you need less money and devote your time to something better.” x

Now even if y'all don't like all these policies, whether you think they don't lean left enough, or too left, or even if you don't think he'll win, make a big show of supporting him anyway.

Because here is a candidate who's looked at the economy and over production and its affects on both humans and the planet and is not only willing to say it's a problem but to systematically address it and cut back; more than any democrat or Republican is willing to admit, let alone address.

What I've learned over my lifetime of elections is that the one thing Democrats and Republicans rely on most to stop progress is by scaring you into believing candidates who represent progress are radical and extreme and unpopular and don't stand a chance against a "real" candidate like a democrat or Republican.

And time and time again elections come around and sure enough there are the Democrats screaming at everyone to vote blue because voting green or independent or progressive is a wasted vote. Too dangerous to risk on someone who doesn't stand a chance.

And every election season this propaganda strategy works.

So here's how we fix that: show them it's not true. Loudly supporting candidates like these. In this case we have two whole years to show voters, politicians, and the 2 party system that candidates like these do have support and do stand a chance and ARE a threat to the status quo. That we WANT to threaten the status quo. That's it's broken and outdated and unwanted.

So yeah. Even if he's not perfect, spread this like it's the best news you've ever heard.

Because I doubt he'll win too. But winning isn't the point. The point is to show Democrats and Republicans that we are SERIOUS about progress and we are willing to support the destruction of long held traditions and systems to achieve it. That if THEY don't change their platforms to be more progressive and geared toward systematically addressing the USA's many faults and inequalities, that they'll get left behind too. Because we WILL support progressive and leftist candidates because we WANT progress. We WANT the monopoly that democratic moderates and Republican conservatives have on the elections to end.

We need to show them that just being a Democrat isn't enough anymore. That's it's not enough to simply be the "lesser evil" in comparison to Republicans anymore.

We need to show them that presidential candidates need to be actively better for the USA rather than being passively awful.

[lovelyspottedgecko]

Bread, Bucky, and a Saturday morning

Bucky X Reader                                                                                            (Reader could be read as GN, Bucky uses He/Him)

TW: None                                                                                                Category: Fluff 

Summary: Bucky finally gets a day off of work and you teach him how to make bread. 

 Notes: (I don’t actually know how to make bread sadly :(, but the idea just seemed so cute) 

   ( I do not own any characters in this fic except for y/n and their friend.)

-------------------------

  Bucky had been gone a lot lately on missions. Even though Tony still didn’t trust him, he was valuable to the team. So Furry assigned him what felt like endless long missions, and you missed Bucky so much. On the nights when you got to actually  see him, he was too tired to talk or even hang out. so when he finally had a day off you were overjoyed.

  It was a Friday morning and you got to wake up in the arms of comfy, cuddly, super-soldier boyfriend. You didn't want to wake him though, he looked so peaceful and content, however you needed to get up to make him some breakfast and in order to do that you needed to wiggle your way free. Bucky wasn’t a deep sleeper, meaning you had to be quiet and gentle, however he still woke up making you a little disappointed.

 “Mornin’ doll-” he mumbled faintly.

 “Morning buck, I didn’t mean to wake you I’m sorry.” You smiled and kissed his forehead, as he grinned back.

“It’s ok, I couldn’t wait to see you anyways. Why are you up so early?’

“Well I was going to surprise you with breakfast but I guess it’s kind of spoiled now.” You said biting your lip slightly frowning.

“No worries sweetheart, lets make it together.” He suggested.

“Are you sure you don’t want to sleep in, it’s you day off?” You secretly wanted him to help, but you also knew that he needed to rest.

“It’s my day off I want to spend as much time as I can with you.” Your heart warmed at his confession, and you melted into a puddle. You slipped out of the bed into your favorite fuzzy slippers, the ones Buck gave you last valentines day, and padded off towards the kitchen with Bucky trailing right behind.   Making breakfast with Bucky was wonderful, doing anything with him was always the best. You had goofed off more than actually making your breakfast, Bucky tickling you a you stirred pancake batter and you squirming away trying to tell him to quit but giggling instead. You ended up back in bed and eating breakfast, which then, after being stuffed full with your delicious cooking, took a nap and snuggled together.

    Even though snuggling with Bucky was your favorite, but you remembered that you had offered to bake your friend Lindsey meaning you needed to start forming the bread today.  Careful not to wake him up, you unhooked Bucky’s arm from around your torso and proceeded towards your kitchen.

   You loved your kitchen, it was a safe, comfortable space and just being there released a lot of stress and anxiety. Whenever you were anxious about work, a friend, or Bucky being on missions, you could always be found in the kitchen whipping up something new. So when Bucky woke up, that's exactly where he looked first,

      Bucky leaned on the door way and admired you. He like watching you being creative, admittedly it was one of his own favorite pastimes. You however had only just begun spreading  flower on a wooden board and then talking out the soft squishy dough and placing in down gently. Brushing your hair out of the way you started to knead the dough, squashing and rolling it around the board. 

   You were so focused in your work you almost didn’t notice Bucky’s presence slowly drifting towards you until you felt his gentle breath on your neck. You immediately jumped a little earning a chuckle from Bucky and making you from playfully.

    “You’re supposed to be asleep Buck.” you stated pouting a little.

   “ I know but it got boring when you stopped cuddling me.” He pouted back.

   “Apologies my love, but I promised Lindsey I would get this bread made and to her by tomorrow evening.” you explained while beginning to knead the dough again.

Bucky nuzzled your neck and mumbled out a sleepy ok. “Y/n, can you teach me how to make bread, you always make the prettiest designs.” He asked sweetly, and when you said yes his face lit up. He was so sweet, the way he always wanted to know what you were doing or if you could show him how things work, like a curious child. Since he hadn’t been in touch with civilization much it felt nice that he could have some teach him random stuff and not judge him. “You want to knead it carefully but still firm. Like this-“ you demonstrated for him. Bucky nodded and started to roll the dough just a s you showed him. “You're doing great, actually if you could, could you keep kneading the dough for me while I set out the other things I need.” You asked, and of course Nucky nodded. While Bucky was busy you went into the pantry in search of edible flowers. You had a bin where you kept all your dry, edible decorations. Last time you made bread you left the box on the second shelf, so you stood on your tippy toss and hauled the box down steadily so you wouldn’t spill or drop other boxes. You came back into the kitchen, where Bucky was almost finished with his task. “We need to form the bread now.” You started and took the dough from bucky. After forming the dough you and Bucky decorated the bread with edible flowers and put it in the oven to bake. “Well what do you want to do now?” You asked Bucky. “I don’t know, but a movie and take out would be nice.” “That does sound like a nice buck, go start it and I call the Chinese place.” Bucky gave you a small peck on the lips and went back into your shared bedroom. Soon you and Bucky both were eating Chinese food and all snuggled up together watching your favorite movie. It was perfect, and even though you didn’t do anything big or exciting, both of you were happy and in each other’s company and that’s all that mattered.

[crystalelemental]

i LOVED reading your xy choices post so much!! xy / kalos is my favorite group and region, so seeing someone else analyze like this is lovely. i loved your thoughts, and i’d love to read more! you also mentioned in your lodge post that you could have a field day with the implications of sycamore & diantha not being interesting to sere, i’d love to hear those 👀

This is now attempt 2, after my computer ate the first response, but hey, maybe that means I’ll be more concise (doubt).  Anyway, thank you!  I admit that Kalos hasn’t always been my favorite, but since getting Masters, I’d been really reflective on the game and enjoying coming up with ideas about what they were aiming for, and...I’ve kinda convinced myself to really like it.

Anyway!  Here’s the original post for those unfamiliar.  I’m going to continue with the “Serena as the protagonist” thing, but let’s talk a bit more about the choice and why I think it’s super neat that Serena doesn’t seem to consider Sycamore or Diantha as her friends despite other protagonists really liking their professor and champion.

To summarize the big point: the choice of which button to push is the big event of XY, not the confrontation with Lysandre.  When you guess right, Xerosic will still activate the weapon, and Lysandre states openly that he disagrees with that action, indicating that it wasn’t the outcome that matters, but that Serena made a choice at all.  Because there are other options.  You can refuse to choose and endanger lives.  You can just prevent Xerosic from doing anything.  But given that the game won’t let you leave, I like to interpret that as “anything outside the choice doesn’t occur to Serena.”  Which makes some sense.  You’ve crushed every challenge the game throws at you with ease, and this is just a coin flip.  You’ve handled worse at this point.  And it’s not like your friends have been any serious help either.  You’ve got this.

Imagine you’re right.  Imagine the ego trip.  Once again, your actions have saved everyone, and the only reason it wasn’t a done deal right there is because Xerosic cheated.  Even his boss acknowledges you won that.  You are the best thing since sliced bread, and are an active savior of the region.  They’re even throwing a parade in your honor.  Nothing is beyond you.  You can solve for everything.  Except for other people.  Because inevitably, your help doesn’t work.  Even in this scenario, it didn’t truly work.  The right action met with the wrong person yielded bad results, but it wasn’t your fault.  It’s other people.  If they just listened to you, just accepted your help, did as you asked of them, everything would be fine.

But imagine the alternative.  Imagine you were wrong.  The curse of hindsight is being able to look back at that scenario and realize...you put everyone in danger.  You didn’t have to pick at all.  The crisis that faced the region?  That was as much your doing now as Lysandre’s.  And while you may have gone to fix it, you also started it.  So when they call you a hero, does it feel right?  When they throw a parade in your honor, do you feel like it’s earned?  When your friends are there receiving equal accolades, does it feel fair, knowing they weren’t around?  When the one handing out the medal is the man who did nothing, does it feel sincere?  None of these people helped you.  They laid the problem at your feet and told you to fix it.  You tried to.  You wanted to help.  You wanted to give.  And they were all too willing to take, even as they refused to lift a finger to give back.

Either way, you wind up thinking more like Lysandre.  You, the golden child, have been expected to handle everything, and rose to that challenge.  But win or lose, the ultimate issue is you largely did it alone.  You, the one cursed with greatness, needed to solve for the world’s problems.  You, and you alone, made that choice.  No one else was around.  No one else did anything.

I’ve seen takes about Sycamore in Masters as well, and how much more likeable he is.  But I think it’s worth noting that this Sycamore is post-XY, and has the benefit of hindsight as well.  He’s already had to confront the reality that Lysandre is actively dangerous.  But prior, a lot of people look at his actions and think “How can anyone not realize?”  But realistically, think about how often you’ve downplayed a friend’s racist or sexist jokes.  Think about how often your friends may do something dangerous or self-destructive, and your response is just passive compassionate statements, rather than doing anything to address the problem.  It’s easier to downplay warning signs when someone you care about and have known as a good person starts to slip.  For an example in my own field, most mass shootings occur with someone knowing full well it’s coming, and not doing or saying anything about it.  It’s easier to downplay than you think.  No one really wants to confront the fact someone they care about might be dangerous.  The only reason we condemn Sycamore so hard is because we’re outside of that situation, and have none of the context of their shared history.

And neither does Serena.  All she sees is an adult who is close to this actively dangerous person, who downplays everything.  Who doesn’t get involved.  Who doesn’t make a move, even when confronted with reality.  Who abandoned his responsibility.  It makes sense she doesn’t feel too fondly toward the professor, if she had to go through all of this with him prior.

Diantha is in a similar boat.  We know even less of her dynamic with Lysandre, but it’s clear she knew him.  They interact.  And while she pushes back on his philosophy, she ultimately doesn’t do anything.  She’s just as passive, willing to let a child handle this dangerous situation rather than doing anything as a champion.  Where was she through all of this?  It may not strictly be a champion’s responsibility to assist a region, but to do nothing in that scenario?

Diantha and Sycamore would be the exact focus of Serena’s ire in either situation, because they’re the ones who should have known and would be in a position to intervene.  And they didn’t.  They’ll leave it to her, and tell her she did a good job, but don’t really support her beyond platitudes.  Shauna and Calem at least showed up at the end.  Tierno and Trevor could be forgiven for not being battlers, but where were the adults who knew this guy and could’ve done something?  To Serena’s mind, if they’re not doing anything, then they don’t care.  Maybe they don’t care about her.  Maybe all she is to them is the person fixing their problems.  It may not be true, but what proof is there to the contrary?  When have they stepped up?

I think it does take until Masters for that to happen.  I don’t think Sycamore and Diantha actually don’t care, but it’s the perception behind it.  Sycamore couldn’t face his friend, but in avoiding that confrontation, left it in the hands of the children he set out to explore the world.  Diantha isn’t strictly beholden to solving these problems, and depending on the nature of her role, may not have been able to intervene when she wanted.  But all the kids see is that she never showed up.  And I think that’s interesting.

But moreover, I think it’s really the friend group that has the most significance, because they’re around.  I think the big deciding factor is whether Serena continues to appreciate them or not.  Recognizing their contributions, even if they were substantially less than her own, at least maintains the idea that others are helping.  Others care, and are trying.  They’re the last holdout against the belief that your actions alone matter, and that everything falls to you to solve.  That you can still rely on others.  That there’s someone there.

And if your response to their presence in the final showdown was that they’re just annoying and in the way?  Maybe Lysandre’s gambit worked better than you thought.

[clatterbane]

Commencing Project Cinnamon Roll!

IIRC, this is my first try at a proper yeasted gluten free cinnamon rolls. I actually made the dough and turned it into rolls last night, and stashed the pan in the fridge to proof most of the way. This is after I pulled it out to finish rising at (very warm) room temperature. Temporarily uncovered, since it's hard to see much through buttered plastic wrap.

The original plan was to get them ready and in the oven yesterday evening, but that's not how things worked out. Ah well, the slow cold treatment should only help with flavor! I did finally get my ass in gear, and it's all good.

(I couldn't resist letting the raggedy end pieces finish rising last night, for a little chef's snack. Not at all bad then!)

That greasy baking paper is one of the sheets I used to roll the dough out and form them, btw. Didn't see any good reason not to just plonk them back on there.

I decided to use basically a mashup of these two recipes--with part my quasi-sourdough Nerd Cider Yeast Starter for a little flavor, and part dry commercial Kronjäst for sweet doughs because I was not feeling patient. (That was before the little overnight delay, yeah. 🙄)

https://translate.google.com/translate?sl=auto&tl=en&hl=en-US&u=https://victoriasprovkok.se/2020/10/glutenfria-kanelbullar.html

(Autotranslated link, obviously. For some reason, the preview isn't working for that or the original site.)

Those recipes are pretty similar anyway. I just used my own judgment where things did diverge, and definitely added the cardamom into the dough Swedish styley. The extra hint of spice can be subtle, but it really does add a nice touch to basically any type of sweet bread. These also got the softened butter filling from that recipe, but using a mix of white and brown sugar for extra yum.

The original plan was to go for a compromise approach with finishing touches, too: half with the crunchy pearl sugar the Household Swede prefers (and I have texture problems with 😬), half barbarian style with glaze.

But, it turned out that the box of pearl sugar I thought we had was really more brown sugar. So, it's Food Crimes all the way! 🤠

This is not necessarily the best place to have texture issues with pearl sugar, btw. It's actually pretty easy to get otherwise good commercial GF cinnamon rolls here, but honestly? One of the reasons I decided to try making some at home was to get glaze instead.

This rather fundamental international difference in cinnamon bun philosophy is actually a bit of a running gag. To the point of someone feeling a need to set up a joke subreddit a while back--and also some ridiculous recent drama involving certain segments of Sweddit brigading food subs to make rude comments on other people's cinnamon roll pics (a.k.a. "cum buns"), earning some pretty heavy use of the banhammer.

But, now those food crimes are cumming from inside the house! 😅

(Not pictured: a pinch of salt and a little vanilla. For a very basic sour cream glaze.)

OK, I couldn't help but get immoderately amused.

[hexdsl]

HexDSL in 2023!

I realise that most people have done their “yay 2023” post already. Actually, most people did it while 2022 was still gurgling with death rattles. I, on the other hand have been excitedly waiting for today.

This last five days I have released the short story/novella ‘Week’ on hexdsl.com (Tumblr.) I have also made the story available from Itch for free and on Amazon for as cheap as they will let me (Amazon are asshats.)

This was something I have been planning since before ‘In Her we trust’ was released and was originally, me toying with the idea of changing the point-of-view character for Denouement 3 (don’t worry I’m not doing that, Jon won’t let me)! – I think the story brings a lot of subtle depth to the characters I have created, as well as makes some clear promises regarding Denouement 3, currently tentatively titled ‘Earth War.’

Anyway, that’s on the agenda for me over these next twelve months?

YouTube: I plan on continuing to put out YouTube videos. There is no end in sight, I am hoping as there are more and more people reading my books, that the focus of the channel will become more and more about my writing and less about ‘stuff I found on the internet’ – That said, I greatly enjoy the rambling nonsense that is enabled by YouTube.

Nancy & Holmes: This is my next full-sized novel. It’s framed like a mystery novel, though a modern, pop culture infused one. It’s about our hero, Nancy. Nancy works in a pub, has seen some shot and to distract her from her own sadness, she willingly getting sucked into investigating murders that happen in her happy seaside town. Nancy’s issues are a major part of the story. This includes her consulting detective, Holmes, being either imaginary or a ghost (she’s really not sure)

It’s scheduled to be my mid-year book, meaning I’m planning a June release. As always, these are just target dates. I wouldn’t ‘ship’ a title unless it was ready and fully baked. At the moment though, it’s looking like it’ll be on time.

All my books have had a mystery element, or at least a concealed element, which we wait to be revealed, but, I think I underestimated the nuance of writing a pure mystery story; I’m learning a lot!

As with all my stories, this will have strong female characters, well-defined morality… and bread products! – Yay toast!

Denouement 3 - Earth War (title subject to change): Denouement 3 will, like the second one, bring new concepts to the characters and challenge their sense of self. I want each book to question what it is to be a hero, and what you have to do to get there. In the first two books, Jon is left feeling like he did nothing, while everyone else in his life is hailing him as a legend. I want Denouement 3 to allow him to flex what he has learned and be a hero on purpose. With intent, drive, morality and now, a well-earned authority.

The current plan is to have Denouement books drop in December each year, for a while as I have a few more planned for the series. I don’t want to write Denouement back-to-back as I did with volumes one and two though. It really was fun to do, but I felt I had basked in the world too much. So much so that I have already written the first act of Denouement 3. I forced myself to go do something else (hence, Nancy & Holmes) to help me evolve as a writer.

The hope is that each Denouement book brings something new, original, and interesting to the table. I think to do that I can’t write them back-to-back. I need to take time to let the dust settle between volumes.

Drop me a line: Thank you for being interested in my rambles, writings, and videos. If you have questions about books, workflow, or thoughts, then please do either drop into my Discord or email me at HexDSL@gmail.com. If you want to send me something pretty, my Amazon Wishlist is here

If you want to support me directly, you can do this on Patreon or by buying books on Itch or Amazon. Honestly, the best thing you can do right now is leave a review!

Thanks. For reading.

[squirrelpudding]

January 7th, 2024

When I was a little kid I used to ridicule my parents for needing to use a headlamp to see their keyboard when using their computer at night, but now, as I write this in bed, I find myself needing the handy little button that makes my keyboard light up. Anyway, I haven't blogged in a few days because all I have done is go to work and watch tv. I haven't taken any pictures with my digital camera recently, and I told myself when I started this blog that I would use the photos from that camera and not photos from my phone. But here we are. Using photos from my phone. Today started a new art project and I went to dinner with my dad. The art is a collage that is supposed to be Jeremy Allen White in his Calvin Klein ad, but you cant really tell that it looks like him unless you see the reference picture. But I am having a lot of fun making it! It is very stress-free because usually I am worried that I will ruin my art if I do something new. Like when I paint I usually worry that any new stroke I add will mess it up, but for this it is all just scraps of paper and I can see how things look without committing to it. As with all of my other artwork I make, it looks a lot better in person than in the photo. In person the placement of the paper kind of looks like it is there on purpose, like I meant to put it there, but in the photo it doesn't really. Sometimes I wonder if I got good enough at art I could sell my work. I wouldn't want to do it as my main job, but it would be nice to earn money from doing things I enjoy.

For dinner my dad (does "Dad" have to be capitalized? I think only when I am speaking to him and saying it in place of where a name would go, but as a title it doesn't need to be capitalized? Like I wouldn't capitalize "cousin" unless I was Ricky from "The Bear" and I was saying cousin as a nickname.) and I went to a nice restaurant that had signs in the front advertising that they were considered good by Michelin. They didn't have any stars, but just that they were considered good. I thought they were good, but my dad said that to earn a Michelin star they would need to have much smaller portions (i thought that was funny). My dad is a funny fella. I think the idea that the tire company "Michelin", with the Michelin Man as their mascot, is in charge of the most snooty restaurant rating system in the US (or the world ?) is just silly. I always used to think that the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man from Ghostbusters was the same guy as the Michelin man. I now know they are different. At this restaurant we went to, we got pizza (it was a pizza place) and brussels sprouts. I just found out that brussels sprouts has an "s" on the end of "brussels". I've been pronouncing it "brussel sprouts" my entire life. While we were walking to a bookstore down the street from the restaurant (side note: I have never spelled restaurant correctly I always have to use autocorrect), there was a store with maps in the window, so of course my dad wanted to look at it. I feel like all dads like looking at maps. Its funny how similar people are. Anyway, there was a sign in the window that said "No Loitering" (see last picture), which is so funny because that was exactly what we were doing.

One thing I forgot to say about the restaurant is they gave us bread with olive oil/balsamic vinegar dip. Its funny how something so simple can bring so much joy. Also, earlier today I had Naan and Hummus as a snack. That is also something that is so straightforward, but so delicious. I love that in every culture there is some form of bread and dip/sauce, and they are all the same but all very different.

[ozma914]

2020s: The Decade of Déjà vu

Someday, someone will invent time travel. Then the government will get hold of it, and the first thing they'll do is over-regulate it. "All forms must be completed in triplicate--and no, you can't fill them out ahead of time."

One of those regulations will state, quite explicitly, that you CANNOT go back to any point in the 2020s.

No, not because of COVID: because the insanity might be contagious.

We've gone through way worse times, as a country and as a world. The American Civil War was awful. The Great Depression kinda sucked. The 40s could have been better. The 50s were okay but, as with most times, it depended on who you were.

I don't know bout the 1820s, but the 1920s were roaring. The 2020s? Just ... weird.

And I thought that before the Chinese spy balloon came over.

Honestly, I was convinced the thing was from North Korea. The Chinese have satellites, for crying out loud. Maybe the North Koreans were just trying to dip down and steal some grain.

I mean, have you seen Kim Jong-un? He's the only person in the country who's not starving. They have to keep bread on his table, or he'll start eating his subjects.

The Chinese, in the interest of spreading conspiracy theories, have solved that problem by cutting into the population with viruses. It seemed like a good idea at the time. (Kidding! Just in case their balloon managed to land spy technology on my roof.)

It's probably worth mentioning that in 2020 Iran launched their own military satellite.

Then Russia's very own dictator saw what Kim Jong-un was doing and said, "Here: Hold my vodka"

What Putin didn't realize was that the Russian Army's warranty ran out in 2019.

What else could possibly go wrong? Meanwhile we had only the 3rd Presidential impeachment in history, and naturally the whole thing ran along party lines, because aren't the parties more important than the people? Sure they are.

In 2020 oil prices tanked. Remember that? No? Now gas is so expensive that instead of a fast food place attached to gas stations, they're teaming up with those payday loan places. "I just need a cash advance so I can get to work so I can earn the money to get to work."

Want to know the fun part? Most of that stuff happened, or at least started, in 2020. Just the first year of the decade that time travelers will someday cancel. The rest of the decade actually gives a sense of dejas vus, which is a Latin term meaning "what, again?" Recession, shortages, racial tensions, crazy storms, nuclear threats, government bloat, inflation ...

Holy crap. Three years into this decade, and we're in the 70s again. That explains the Déjà vu, anyway.

And we've got seven more 20s years to go.

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Remember, every time you learn something from a book it makes Kim Jong-un cry. And that's a good thing.

[loiswolf]

Day 57 July 27 Lion’s Head - Meaford 92km

It was already quite warm when I cycled away from my motel this morning. The landscape was flat farmland

and I had a nice little tailwind. I hadn’t been able to get any fruit for my usual breakfast so had just made do with bread and honey. In fact, the couple of times I stopped yesterday to try to buy fruit , people looked at me as though I was insane. Obviously not in the food pyramid over here.

My morning tea ( or second breakfast) was going to be Wiarton. Just a few kilometres before I saw this inviting looking place.

I prefer to support these small local businesses rather than Tim Hortons so I stopped. It had some lovely baked goods and finally, some fresh fruit. There was also coffee and a very delicious fresh chocolate cup cake.

Moving on about 20 minutes later I passed through Wiarton. The traffic was quite busy but the towns are starting to look a bit more inviting now. I snapped a photo of this home on the other side of town.

Traffic was building up all the time today. Mostly there was a good shoulder but a couple of times I had to get off the road when a truck was approaching from behind and there was oncoming traffic.

The next scheduled stop was going to be Owen’s Sound. I took a back road into town which was hilly and scenic but also meant I missed the supermarket I had picked out. I hadn’t been to a supermarket since Espanola a few days ago so I really needed to shop today.

A quick map check before cycling up a massive hill out of the town showed there were plenty of other shopping options. It was so hot today I figured it would be better to shop after my lunch break anyway.

Another back road to avoid heavy traffic brought me out at this lovely little place.

It was time for that belated second breakfast.

Yummo!

Up the road I found a cheap supermarket and grabbed a few things quickly. It was so hot by now that I started pouring water over my food bag occasionally to try to keep it a bit cooler. I’m not sure if it worked. It seemed to dry out again in a few seconds.

Meaford was straight ahead along one straight road. Straight but not flat!

There were a few of these big hills to climb before the road flattened slightly.

The final 10kms were really fast because they were almost all downhill. Wheee!

I’m sure I earned that little break. I must have been slowly gaining altitude since leaving the ferry yesterday.

Meaford has a lovely beach area.

It almost looks like the ocean but it’s not, it’s Georgian Bay. My motel was only about 100m up the road from that beach. I think the motel owner is Russian. I managed to talk my way into a ground level room. ( she allocated me one upstairs first) Then I managed to get a coffee machine and microwave delivered my room. All good now!

I’ve been for a swim….the water is a good temperature ( someone asked) not too cold, but refreshing.

It’s probably going to be hot again tomorrow.

[iankarlo]

Busier Than Evuuurrr | 89th

Today is one of the busiet day in the office. I kept on dealing so many things in my job. I have been working on multiple jobs and I managed to work on them really. I am really happy that I am getting the focus I want and the courage to keep myself pushing this time. I mean, I need to earn a lot now to compensate and finish all my debts and expenses. 

I feel like I am drowning to my debts and I wanted to finish them all this year. I know its going to be a tough one but I hope I can make it. I am not sure if I can fit my budget the next coming months but I hope I can. 

I am getting scared because I only have few savings left and I know I will run short soon. Its going to be tough for me but I am hoping I can clear it off soon.

I am planning to move to a cheaper apartment so I can save some money although I know it will be tough for me to deal with so many people in the house especially I enjoyed living alone already. I don't want to move where I am right now but I have to. I don't have a choice but to sacrifice a little to clear off my debts. I know its going to be a tough one but I am lookin forward for a better future ahead of me.

I hope I can do it. I just have to be strong to get there. I am sad I have to do this but I think this is the perks of being a bread winner and being alone. 

I wanted to cry but I don't know why I can't. I am scared but I hope I will get better. I just need to be focused and more patient the next coming months and year. 

Anyway, I have nothing much to say today. Its all work I guess. But, I just had a quick moment with Ae this afternoon. I like how I get interactions with him now. I can talk to him casually and joke around with him. I guess, I just have to keep it that way. I mean, I like and enjoy every single moment I am talking to him. But that's it. I need to draw a line. 

I am hoping I will get better. I hope pressure will not be a hindrance to me anymore. I hope I can have savings too for myself. I wish I wish I wish. 

Although, I know no one understands my situation right now.

Sad. 

PS: I got a brown sugar milktea today for myself, just a little reward.

Good night. 

Love always,

iankarlo