#anyway that's all i think??? surprisingly little to address but oh well

[serenanymph]

Heads Up Seven Up

Tagged by @faytelumos um.*looks at smudged notes* a while ago. Find his post over here. Gently tagging uhhh @space-writes, @macabremoons and @scribbling-stardust, pulling from Beast book 2, Witch's Book:

It’s later in the night – when they’ve brought out the cake and sang ‘Happy Birthday’, and Zephyr has blown out all six candles (one of them larger-sized) – that Madge wanders out of the kitchen where mama and baba are divvying up the cake to track down Zephyr and Kas, who’ve somehow vanished in that short amount of time. The backyard feels quieter than before: peaceful, now, as if all the world is fast asleep. Madge inhales, again, the same way she did earlier with the cake, breathing in the scent of spring – stretching her arms out to the side, her fingertips straining, her head tipping back to look up at the sky. The longer she looks, the more stars seem to appear, spreading out and multiplying, thousands of tiny glittering diamonds spilling across the black. The breath she takes in morphs into a yawn. Murmuring, from up on the roof. She spins towards the ladder leaning against the side of the house, and ah – they must be up there, then.

taglist (lmk if you want to be +/-): @deer-in-headlights-stare, @allianaavelinjackson, @arctic-oceans, @space-writes, @reneesbooks

[dearaceofhearts]

you walk out after an argument

characters: husk, alastor, angel dust, vox, lucifer word count: 2.9k genre: angst to fluff summary: after an argument with them, you walk out and don't come back for a few days. how do they react? author's note: hello yes this is my first time actually posting something. erm, i think i wrote too much (sorry) but hey we roll with it!! also dude i accidentally posted this before it was ready twice and i had a heart attack oh my god. anyways i don't think vox's is really fluff (oops) but everyone else's is

♡ husk

when you slam the door shut on your way out, husk lets out a low grumble, setting down the glass he was cleaning onto the bar counter with a quiet sigh. it was one of the first arguments you'd had in a long time. although he wasn't usually one to get riled up so easily, the two of you knew each other well enough to know just what buttons to push to get under the other's skin. that, alongside him already having a bad day, had been a recipe for disaster.

in the few days that pass by, it's hard to tell just how affected he is by your absence since he does a pretty good job of keeping a cool facade. to anyone looking, he wouldn't appear any different than usual, just idly cleaning bottles as he always does.

but it's the small things that give away just how much husk cares and worries for you, like how his eyes flicker towards the door whenever someone comes in, his ears perking up slightly. he hates the twinge of disappointment that follows when it's not you, a slight scowl curling at his lips as he takes a swig of alcohol from one of the many bottles on the shelves of the bar. he misses talking to you. you're his favourite drinking buddy, after all.

his gaze always seems to wander back to the front door of the hotel, lingering for just a little too long before he eventually turns back to the bar, expression settling back into its usual grouchiness. but underneath that lies a hint of worry that gnaws at him in the back of his mind, even though he knows you're more than capable of handling yourself. at the end of the day, you can never be too careful in hell.

husk won't force you to come back, but he just wants to know that you're safe and sound. he trusts that you'll come back when you're ready so that the two of you can talk it over and hopefully resolve things. he doesn't want to leave it like this, and he's sure you don't either. you mean a lot more to him than he'd like to admit.

when you decide to finally return to the hotel, he pauses upon catching sight of you stepping through the doorway. he can't help the small wave of relief that washes over him, though you wouldn't be able to tell by the way he smoothly resumes restocking the bar. when you approach the counter, he looks up, giving you a short nod. "hey." he greets you, tone surprisingly softer than you're used to, "you're back."

husk's not really the type to beat around the bush, so he'd likely address the argument pretty quickly. he's also not particularly one for verbal apologies, so he'd probably be more willing to show it through his actions. you see it in the way he lets you cling to him a little longer than he normally does, leaning into him as he wordlessly holds you, his tail loosely curling around your leg. if you listen closely, you can hear some faint purring, too. it makes you smile slightly.

"alright, 'nuff of this sappy stuff." husk grumbles after a few more moments, patting your back gently before pulling back. "i'd kill for a drink right now. care to join me?" he raises a brow, a familiar glint in his eyes as he slides back behind the counter, already moving to make what he knows is your favourite drink.

you grin as you meet his eyes, expression softening. "of course. i'd love nothing more."

♡ alastor

"you're not listening, al." you murmur, exhaling quietly. this makes him pause for a moment, head tilted. your voice sounds different to what he's used to — you're not even angry, no — you just sound... tired. the argument had been going on for a while, and neither of you were getting through to the other.

when you move to leave, he makes no move to stop you, simply watching you with an intent gaze. his voice rings out clear as day in the empty silence. "where do you think you're going, my dear?"

he falters ever so slightly when you turn back to face him with a sturdy, stern gaze, responding with a flatly spoken "out", leaving no room for anything more to be said before closing the door behind you with a quiet click.

alastor won't chase after you, because he expects that you'll come back to him of your own accord. to him, it's basically guaranteed how this'll play out. he's used to demons falling right into his hands without having to exert much effort on his end, and believes that this would be no different.

so when a few days pass by with you not approaching him at all, he finds himself slightly irritated and mildly perplexed, eyes narrowed as his clawed finger taps against his cane with idle impatience. why haven't you sought him out yet?

he's seen you around the hotel, but you've never once acknowledged his presence even if the two of you were in the same room, breezing past him while he's left staring, watching you converse with everyone except him. his eye twitches in irritation, the perpetual smile on his lips strained.

...eventually, after playing a long waiting game to no avail, he decides that perhaps rosie would be able to offer some helpful advice on how to approach this situation, since he's not used to actually handling delicate emotional matters without the— well, the manipulation and deal-making.

one of the main issues is his massive ego. it's that unfaltering pride that gets in the way of him apologising. he may be the radio demon, but all that power can't help him here. and he'd never openly admit to such, but he truly is at somewhat of a loss here. he's already tried most things that he's sure would usually make you forgive him, though for a reason unbeknownst to him, it's not working this time.

"oh alastor," rosie shakes her head with a small huff, "a lady's heart is to be treated with care." she lends some further words of wisdom and encouragement that he listens to with great attentiveness, since he does (begrudgingly) enjoy your company, and it would be a shame if it was lost over such a, in his eyes, trivial matter.

upon his return to the hotel, he manages to get you to sit down with him (after much polite pestering and insistence) to have a chat over some tea. when all is said and done, the two of you sit in a comfortable silence. you sip your tea, watching the blazing fires of hell from the balcony.

"refill?" alastor offers, glancing at you briefly through a sip of his own tea.

"much appreciated." you hum, legs crossed as you throw him a small, slack smile.

♡ angel dust

his frustration slowly fizzles out as the door closes behind you, and the guilt slowly starts to creep in. he knows he shouldn't have said what he did, and he wants nothing more than to apologise and make it up to you — but he understands that it's probably better to give you some time to cool off before trying to approach you again.

despite the argument and the harsh words exchanged between you, the fact that he cares for you with his whole heart will never change, and he hopes you know that too.

while you're away, angel always finds his thoughts drifting to you, wondering how you're doing. are you eating okay? are you drinking enough? sleeping enough? with a shake of his head and a small sigh, he tries his best to return his focus back to the task at hand, whatever it may be.

he knows you can take care of yourself perfectly fine, but he just... misses you. the guilt eats away at him when he's reminded of the look on your face when you left, the brief glimmer of hurt in your eyes before you masked it with anger and tore your gaze away.

one particular night, angel heads over to your room in the hotel out of habit, not really thinking about it when he raises a fist to knock on the door. he had been hoping to spend some time with you, since today had been a particularly rough day for him. he's also been craving for one of your sleepover nights for a while, those nights where you two would stay up to talk about anything and everything until dawn rises. those times were comforting for him — a rare moment of respite in his life.

but then he stops abruptly, remembering that you're not there. he lets his hand fall back to his side, expression quietly downcast. he stands alone in the silent, empty hallway. has it always been this cold?

after a few days, he's just about damn ready to go looking for you, making his way down the stairs as he prepares to head out. he's so focused that he almost misses the sight of you seemingly casually sitting at the bar, nursing a drink in your hands whilst exchanging low murmurs with husk.

he freezes momentarily, taking a deep breath. while he mentally debates with himself whether to approach you or not, husk notices him hesitating on the staircase. he catches angel's gaze, giving him a subtle nod. that's all the affirmation angel needs.

he slides on his usual relaxed demeanour, though it's a little weaker than normal, as he approaches you. he's admittedly a little nervous, but he's determined to work things out with you. he puts a gentle hand on your shoulder to catch your attention. "hey, darlin'. can i talk to you for a minute?"

the two of you head back to your room, where heartfelt apologies are exchanged and a long overdue conversation takes place. at some point during the talk, his hand had found its way on top of yours, thumb brushing over your skin gently. at the end of it all, he gives you a small, content smile. "...baby, you have no idea just how much i adore you." he whispers into the quiet, running his fingers through your hair comfortingly as your head rests on his shoulder.

it was an unspoken agreement that tonight was going to be a sleepover night. prepare for lots of cuddling and gentle, soft kisses.

♡ vox

he's the type to go "ha, see if i care!" when you leave, but he'll still check on you occasionally through the various cameras and electronics around the city — he swears it's just because he's making sure the new limited edition voxtek product he had given to you isn't damaged.

(...it's totally because he's looking out for you, by the way. even if it's only a little. you are his darling, after all. and uh, you'll never know what happened to that guy who tried to hit on you that one time).

(vox made sure not even a trace of that bastard remained).

his obnoxious pride makes him reluctant to reach out first. that, and he's a petty little shit. so everyone around him, whether that be the other vees or his employees, is stuck dealing with his foul mood. he's become even more irritable and susceptible to lashing out than usual since you left.

he'd rather die than admit it, but you were a calming presence in his life that he hadn't realised he needed until you were gone. he hates just how much power you have over him, though you may or may not realise it. he's supposed to be the one in charge. when did you manage to sneak into his heart? his mind is occupied with thoughts of you.

and it only frustrates him more, because you're not here.

all his employees are left on edge, even more so when he takes his anger out on some poor soul who had gotten the numbers wrong on the report they handed in. "clean this mess up." vox snaps, glowering as he fixes the cuffs of his sleeves. the demon at the door hurriedly moves to do as he says, not wanting to risk meeting the same fate.

"what? what are you looking at?" he turns, eyes narrowing at the rest of the employees who flinch, hastily turning their eyes back to the screens in front of them. "get back to work." he mutters sharply, an unspoken threat in his words.

his volatile temperament goes on for a while, until velvette decides she's finally had enough and sends you a (not so) polite text to resolve your little lover's spat before she takes matters into her own hands.

meanwhile, vox is in his office. nothing seems to be going his way, and he's just about to blow another fuse when you nonchalantly throw open the doors, inviting yourself in. he freezes, staring at you for a few moments. you raise a brow. "...so. i heard you were throwing another hissy fit."

vox scowls at that, grumbling under his breath. "oh yeah? and what'd you come back for, you prissy little princess?" he sneers, clawed fingers digging into the desk with a quiet screech. "couldn't go without me for long, huh?"

"ha. you wish that was the case." you scoff, rolling your eyes with a half-amused, irked smile curling at your lips. things escalate into another argument pretty quickly, with the two of you at each other's throats. he towers over you, eyes narrowing as his grin widens in mild irritation.

it's a back and forth for quite some time, until you get sick of it and grab him by the collar of his shirt, yanking him closer until you're glaring at one another face to face. "what the fuck do you think you're—" he starts, but he's quickly cut off when your lips crash into his. vox is stunned for a few moments but soon snaps out of it, swiftly returning your kiss with equal, if not more, ferocity and intensity.

"finally got you to shut up." you murmur, grinning as you part to catch your breath and release his shirt from your grasp. before you can pull back completely, however, his hand reaches up to rest against the back of your neck, the other firmly on your waist. it takes another long, drawn-out kiss for him to finally let you go — though not really, since he's still holding you close in his arms.

"...that was hot." he whispers breathlessly, staring down at you with a somewhat satisfied glint in his eyes. but you both know that there's more to come.

suffice to say, the two of you sorted things out.

♡ lucifer

he would regret everything almost instantly. lucifer realises just how badly he fucked up when you leave without looking back. he's not even quite sure what happened as he stands alone in the room, blinking as he's left to process everything on his own. his mind is a jumbled mess, and he can't think clearly.

all he can feel is a suffocating rush of fear as he snaps out of his daze and hurries after you, desperate to find you before you're gone. he doesn't want to take his chances. what if you don't come back? what if—

he had said things that he didn't mean, and now the weight of it all feels crushing on his shoulders. he's torn between wanting to reach out to apologise and giving you time to cool down. he doesn't want to be a bother, but also really wants to make things up to you.

most of all, he just wants reassurance that you'll come back to him and that he hasn't messed things up for good. he doesn't want to lose you. you're too precious to him for that, and he's mentally kicking himself for ever making you question your importance to him for even a second.

thankfully, you haven't gone too far so he's able to catch up to you, taking a hold of your wrist firmly. however, when you turn to look at him, he falters, the words dying in his throat. he swallows, softly clearing his throat as he scrambles to say something, anything to stop you from leaving. to reaffirm his love for you.

"...sweetheart, i'm so sorry," he whispers, expression twisted and heart heavy with remorse and sorrow as he brings you close, grip subconsciously tightening because he's afraid to let you go. "i'll do anything, i'll make it up to you, i—" he trails off, burying his face into your shoulder, "just, please... don't leave. i'm sorry."

you really can't stay mad at him for too long after seeing his genuine sincerity. he acknowledges his wrongs, wanting nothing more than to make up for his mistakes and make you feel as appreciated and cared for as you've made him feel over the course of you two knowing each other. you sigh gently, thumb lightly brushing over his cheek. "...alright, silly. let's go home."

his eyes light up at that, and he's reminded of just how grateful he is to have you here by his side as you guys make your way home together. he holds your hand the entire time.

after the two of you make up, you find that he'll leave little gifts and cute trinkets around for you despite your gentle assurances that he doesn't have to. he also gives you lots of forehead kisses. he just wants to make sure you never forget how much he loves you, and that you mean the world to him.

© dearaceofhearts ー all rights reserved. please do not steal, use or modify my works!

[echantedtoon]

Kinda like my last post but more poly. Auish so barely anything's cannon. Kimetsu Gauken based. Artwork not mine both found on Pinterest. Will probably contain some headcannons from my Kagamane x Reader headcannons post too.

-How did you catch the attention of these two couples? You literally had no idea.

-You only knew that you were Muzan's secretary before he hired Kokushibo to take over your job as he was 'better suited.' But unbeknownst to you, that was a way to just get closer to you by Muzan and his wife.

-You've been working for the couple for over two years having been hired by Two to help the both of them manage their companies. Muzan wasn't happy about his wife hiring someone without his say so but relented the because his wife was happy with you.

-You did a very good job honestly. Papers were always perfectly filed, and you were very organized and clean. You kept up with his own and Rei's Business deals separated unless needed to be combined. He couldn't remember how many times the last secretary mixed up their appointments and costed them time and money. You were also on time all the time everyday and had materials at the ready for whatever he needed.

-Rei was quite satisfied with your performance as well and he liked knowing his wife was happy so he didn't care about her inviting you to have small lunch breaks with her and their daughter.

-Their daughter was quite taken by you as well. Smiling and talking about how nice you were and how you had help her learn how to spell a big learn that won her spelling bee at school.

-Rei quite agreed you were quite a charming lady and she wouldn't mind having you around more often. He agrees.

-While you're professional and perficiant in what you do and your bubbly kind and positive personality added a bit of fresh air into the office and at the same time you weren't overly positive for him to find you annoying. If fact he quite looked forward to the way you treated him every morning with your bright smile and a cup of his favorite coffee. How you and Rei smile like old friends and get along so well. How his daughter is always excitedly bouncing around and showing off what cool new facts she learnt 'from the nice office lady'!

-Its inevitable they would find someone as cute as you unable to resist for long. It's not surprisingly Rei that brings up the subject first while at breakfast and he's reading a newspaper. "Dear, Y/n was so kind to teach our little darling how to easily spell arithmetic the other day." "Mmhm. Very nice." "You know I don't think we're really giving her a position she deserves. You've always said that I could use a personal assistant for my work." "Darling, you just read my mind."

-You are shocked when the happy couple announced that you were fired from your secretary job but they were moving you to be Rei's personal assistant. You gingerly try to reject the offer but they insist having already replaced you with Kokushibo who turns out if far more efficient.

-So begins your very awkward new job as Rei's personal assistant. Some of it isn't too different from your old job minus following her around during the day. You still file paperwork for her and handle calls if she's busy, but now you also did things for her such as getting her awkwardly massive food orders-

"I have your double shrimp salad bowls."

"Oh thank you. But I must've gotten too much. You eat the other one you've been working so hard and deserve some food."

And going shopping with her as she gifts you extra items she ..accidentally buys an item she didn't want.

"I have all your bags, Ma'am."

"Thank you. But it seems I accidentally bought the purple heels instead of black."

"Shall I call the store and request a refund for the shoes?"

"No need. You can keep them. They're your size anyways."

-You also start to help out Rei's husband by rearranging furniture in his office as he works and gauges your help in certain things.

"I want you to take this."

".... It's an address and..IS THIS THREE THOUSED DOLLARS?!"

"Yes. I'm thinking about buying a share at this new retreat but unfortunately I'm far too busy to go myself. Go check yourself in for a week and report back to me anything wrong with the place."

Even when you go, granted having a good time, and comeback with your positive feedback you don't see any shares listed for the retreat in the financial database. But he does use your help in other situations too-

"Is this a dinner reservation?"

"Yes. I'm interested in hosting a business dinner together with some investors next week. Go to the reservation and see if their food is up to my standards."

You are concerned when he sees no investors the next week.

-You start to get very awkward when Rei requests you start doing more personal things. Like tutoring their daughter and picking her up from school and playing with her when they're busy. And staying to have dinner with them multiple times a week even if you decline.

-You unexpectedly get a raise despite doing less work than your last position.

-You get invited on outings together to help watch their daughter but for some reason there's always a place set aside for you or the reservations always included a fourth person.

-You get random gifts with excuses-

"My daughter thinks it's your birthday and she'll be upset if I didn't at least gift you some flowers."

"Here. I never used this dress anyways and they got my size wrong."

"My wife misplaced her necklace so I ordered a new one for her. She just found the old one today so you may keep the extra."

-One day you pick up their daughter from elementary school and she's just happily chatting away in the back seat.

"I can't wait for Mother's Day. I'm gonna make you and Mommy the best cards ever!"

"Aw. You don't have to do that. I'm not even your mom."

"Not yet! You have to marry them first and I'm gonna be the flower girl!!"

"Haha! I'm not marrying your mommy and daddy."

"Huh? You're not?"

"Of course not. What made you think that?"

"Because Daddy says I can be the flower girl! Mommy even picked out matching dresses for all three of us in that fancy magazine!"

-Both are a mixed reaction when they receive your professional company email that very night explaining that the hours were starting to get bad for you so you were putting in your two weeks and using all your company vacation days for that entire week so they didn't have to trouble you for a final paycheck.

-Rei is absolutely shocked and very, very confused. Why did you suddenly quit? If the hours were getting to bad then they'd be happy to talk with you about it and rearrange things.

Muzan is pissed. How dare you just quit on such short notice?! After everything they did?! You didn't even have mind to tell them in person!

Both try calling you but get nothing but voicemail, their emails go unanswered as well. Their daughter is very upset. Why did you leave? Weren't you going to marry them?

-Unbeknownst to the couple you use the extra money from your sudden raise to move away to a new residence. Blocking both on your old email and phone before completely getting a brand new email address and number and being sure to block them again on those too before gathering up all the unwanted gifts up to mail them back being sure to include no return address.

-After laying low for about a month you decide to go back out to job hunt. Eventually finding a secretary position open at a local school after the old secretary retired! Perfect! You end up calling the number listed for the principal and she's nice enough to arrange an interview for you with her husband, the Chairman of Kimetsu Academy.

-The interview actually goes very well! Mr. Kagaya Ubuyashiki is a very kind man and his wife is also very kind and both of them were impressed with your resume. You got the job the day!

-You're a little out of your territory being in a a school setting but slowly things start turning. You start to really enjoy your job at the Academy. You've already made friends with a few teachers like Kyojuro and Gyomei.

-Students start to like coming to the office more because of how bubbly and friendly the new secretary is. The teachers start to talk to you more often and invite you to staff parties and outside work events. Events that you were free to DECLINE and no one was giving you an uncomfortable feeling.

-Was working your old job really that stressful? You couldn't remember the last time you actually felt appreciated or just had someone treat you normally.

-Kagaya thinks it's amusing watching you shyly peek into the doorway to his office with papers clutched into your hands and bashfully asking if you could come in. The way you so innocently look unsure of something or squeak out a question. It's adorable seeing your attempts.

Amane finds your sweet and bubbly personality is perfect for the job! Especially when she sees how much you love interacting with the students and always friendly towards her own children. When you shyly ask her for help with scheduling or ask where a certain file is, always puts a smile on her face.

-Speaking of the Ubuyashiki children, you adore the quintuplets! And don't mind watching them in the office for a little bit if Kagaya or Amane was running a little late or had to do last minute work. Because they always asked you if you'd be alright with it first and didn't expect you to do anything outside your job.

-Somewhere along the way they ask you politely if you'd like to have dinner with them without any expectations for you saying yes and you agree wholeheartedly. Making it a weekly thing where you all would all have dinner together Sunday night.

-Muzan and Rei really don't know where you went for the longest time until he just happens to mention you in front of Nakime who recognizes you instantly and reveals it to him.

-Muzan is absolutely RAGED to find out not only are you working for his cousin but seemed to be dating his cousin and his wife!! Rei has to hold him back and tell him to not do anything dumb before he goes to do anything actually dumb like storm into the academy and yell at everyone.

-Instead he furiously calls his cousin and DEMANDS to know what the hell he thought he was doing!! And DEMANDS to let him talk to you THAT INSTANT!!

"Oh yes. You're the really weird bosses she was talking about. How's your dating life going?"

"YOU FUCKER!! IF YOU DON'T DO AS I SAY I SWEAR YOU'LL PAY FOR IT ONE WAY OR ANOTHER!!"

"How do you both manage to get married but still pull no bitches combined?"

"YOU MOTHERFU-"

Rei later scolds him for cussing in front of their daughter at her cousins and for chucking his phone off their second story balcony.

-She tries to later apologize for his tantrums via calling Amane who firmly states that they were not to go near you but much more politely.

-Your're later very surprised to discover that Muzan and Kagaya are actually cousins but it doesn't change your opinion on the Ubuyashikis because of how well they have been treating you.

[pookietv]

online embarrassment (part two!) | arthurtv

a dedication to @casualvanilla into bullying me to write a part two :3

being curious about arthur and his seemingly strange occupation choice, in your eyes at least, of commentating 90 day fiance, you decided that you may as well watch a little of the show, seeing if you could see what made it so interesting.

especially since you and him had been talking much more frequently, playing a couple of games of chess together most evenings, over discord calls and instagram messages

and your curiosity had definitely been quashed once you had watched as much as you could stomach of insanely dysfunctional relationships, exploitation and men going for women far too young for them.

so, with your newfound knowledge, you decided to text arthur again.

youruser: why is literally every couple on 90 day fiance either insanely malfunctioning or borderline exploitative

arthurtv: ah, i see you have exposed yourself to the world of discovery+

arthurtv: and in all honesty, that is kind of the grim premise of the show, a kind of strangely twisted curiosity makes us all watch them fall apart

youruser: grim is definitely the word for it

arthurtv: so are you doing anything tonight?

youruser: unfortunately, i have little plans that don't involve reading so many academic journals until my eyeballs fall out :(

arthurtv: i never even asked you what you study?

youruser: oh, i study politics with a focus on international law right now :)

arthurtv: no way! i studied law when i was at uni

youruser: when was that, fifteen years ago?

arthurtv: ha ha very funny i am twenty eight

arthurtv: ps, you're almost as dedicated to your uni work as you are to your outrageous bishop sacrifices

youruser: anyway, are you doing anything tonight?

arthurtv: going round to some of my friends house cause he's forcing us to rewatch the lord of the rings series

arthurtv: though that is fair enough because i have forced him to watch harry potter so many times

youruser: i've never even seen harry potter

arthurtv: WHAT

youruser: oopsie

youruser: just never got round to it

arthurtv: you need to watch it!!!!

youruser: it just doesn't seem like my kind of thing!

arthurtv: we can't be friends anymore smh

youruser: that sounds great! blocking you rn

arthurtv: shut up you

arthurtv: anyway, i had an idea, if you're down

youruser: and what would that idea be

arthurtv: i think we should meet up and play actual chess on an actual chessboard (and maybe drink a few bevs)

youruser: well, i mean, i don't even know if i should be meeting you, after all you are the Insane Chess Killer Man >:)

youruser: and if i didn't know any better, sounds like you're describing a date

arthurtv: hm that's a good point, i was looking for a new victim

youruser: are you referencing the insane chess killing or the date as the victim?

arthurtv: you can't see me but i am rolling my eyes so hard right now

youruser: okay, a truce on the serial killer jokes

arthurtv: thank god. what about tomorrow night?

youruser: drunk chess and a takeaway sounds good to me

youruser: the classiest first date

so that was that, he had texted you his address and to come round at seven so he could, in his words, destroy you in chess.

after a long day at uni and a slight worry, though you didn't know why, about meeting him, you started to get ready to go to his house.

since you were just going to his house, you settled on some flared leggings and a soft blue jumper, tying your hair into a somewhat tamed ponytail before looking in the mirror, making sure your light makeup hadn't smudged too much after a day of back to back lectures and discussion groups.

he didn't live too far from you, surprisingly, just a couple tube stops away, so you decided to walk, about twenty five minutes to his apartment, in a block of flats facing the river thames, and as you arrived at the building and pressed the button in the elevator for his floor, slightly picking at your nails with nerves.

what if it was insanely awkward in person? or what if he is a weird catfish looking for victims on chess websites? that seemed insane, right?

but your mind was working overtime as the buttons lit up and the elevator door opened, and you tried to unfurrow your eyebrows and look for his door number, finding it towards the end of the hall.

you waited a moment before knocking, bringing your hand up and timidly rapping it against the dark wood of the door.

when it swung open, and you saw that he was indeed who he said he was, or at least who he was on his instagram pictures, you smiled a little in relief.

"arthur! hi, it's nice to meet you, well, in person, you know..." you giggled a slight bit quietly as he gave you a friendly hug.

"you too! didn't know if i was just being catfished or something," he joked a little awkwardly back.

"me a catfish? i figured you would be a catfish, what would i even be catfishing you for?" you joked back, and he shrugged.

"i don't know, i don't get many pretty girls randomly texting me cause we played chess together so i wasn't sure," he said a little embarrassed, and your cheeks went slightly pink when he called you pretty.

"well, who knew that the insane chess killer had a hidden talent for flattery," i laughed slightly as he welcomed me in, shutting the door behind me.

he rolled his eyes jokingly, "hey, based on the way you insulted me with no remorse during chess games i was expecting you to be terrifying, so you can't blame me for being surprised at how easy you are on the eyes," he grinned a little, and it was your turn to roll your eyes in return.

"anyway, come in, honestly just make yourself at home... unless you're worried about losing to me on my own turf," he joked.

"i mean, i'm kind of impressed by your 'turf'," you giggled, "it's nice for a guy that exploits reality tv for views," you teased and he laughed a little as he led you to his living room, a chessboard set up on his coffee table, pillows on either side on the floor to sit on.

"hey, low blow," he mockingly warned, "i'd watch it otherwise i'll conveniently lose your queen piece," he said before quickly standing to go to his kitchen, "i have southern comfort and lemonade, if that's okay with you? it's kind of my weird speciality drink," he smiled.

"well, i suppose i'll have to try the arthurtv special then," i nodded in return, and after a few moments, he returned with two glasses, placing them at either side of the table as he sat himself down on the side of the board playing black pieces.

"so we're going straight for the intellectual torture of chess?" you grinned as you sat opposite him, "the girls must find it so charming when you sit straight at the chess board on a date, hm?" you teased in retaliation.

"oh shut up you, and prepare to lose, again," he smiled as you moved your first piece, "at least my view will be nice when i crush you,"

as the game progressed, there was joking smack-talk thrown between you and arthur, neither of you focusing too much on the game but more on the subtle flirting between each move.

"that rook sacrifice was not your best work," he laughed, but you raised your eyebrow at him as you moved another piece,

"or maybe i was setting a trap that you didn't see, hm, mr. television?"

as he captured one of your pieces in return, his fingers gently brushed against yours and you grinned, before swatting his hand jokingly, "hey, focus on the game!" you giggled out as he laughed in return and nodded.

about half way through the game, the focus had shifted slightly from both being heartset on winning to enjoying one another's company, nattering on about arthur's job and your degree.

at one particular point, you stopped, looking down at the board, tongue slightly poking out of your mouth in concentration as your brain worked as quickly as it could, trying to analyse the best move.

"what're you thinking?" he asked as he shuffled slightly closer, and you could smell his cologne, a kind of vanilla and cedarwood scent as you tried your best to ignore it.

"i'm trying to strategise, unlike some of us who rely on distracting the other to win," you teased slightly, and you could hear him chuckle a little.

"i'm plenty distracted myself, hard not to be when you look cute like that when you concentrate so hard."

you paused a little at the flirting, trying not to let your cheeks flush bright red, "stop trying to put me off my game, arthur," you playfully smiled.

once a couple more moves had been played, arthur missed what was seemingly an obvious capture he could have made, which would have put you at a disadvantage, and once you quickly realised and made sure your piece was defended, you tilted your head a little - arthur didn't often make mistakes like that.

"i completely missed that, fuck sake!" he mumbled to himself with a small smile on his face.

after a while longer of playing, and a few moves you didn't think arthur would normally make, you had him in checkmate, a grin on your face.

"looks like we're gonna have to have a rematch at some point," he looked at the board and shrugged his shoulders a little.

you narrowed your eyes at him a little with a small smile, "did you throw the game so we could have a rematch?"

"i think i may use the lawyer lingo here and announce that i refuse to answer on the basis that i may implicate myself," he laughed a little to himself.

[moraxine]

Inevitable [Gojo Satoru]

pairing: gojo satoru x reader

words: 1.3k

summary: you and satoru fall for the oldest trick in the book.

It’s a typical morning at Jujutsu High, the sun casting its warm hues across the campus as students roam the premises, training or studying. Nobara, Megumi, and Yuji are together, heads pressed close as they discuss their latest idea—Operation: Set Up Gojo and y/n.

"You guys know they totally like each other, right?" Nobara says, arms crossed. "I mean, come on, it's obvious. They keep sneaking glances at each other, the tension is unreal."

Megumi raises an eyebrow. "If it's so obvious, why haven’t they done anything about it?"

"Because they're both hopeless," Yuji chimes in with a grin. "Especially y/n-sensei. She's so shy when it comes to Gojo-sensei."

Nobara leans forward, a mischievous gleam in her eyes. "Exactly. And that’s where we come in. We need to give them a little... push. Maybe force them to confront their feelings, you know?”

Megumi sighs, accepting the fact that he has to take part in his friends’ stupidly mischievous schemes once again. “What are you thinking?

"Simple," she replies, cracking her knuckles. "We lock them up somewhere and just let the magic happen."

Later on the same day, you’ve just finished grading papers, ready to leave your office, when you receive a text from Yuji.

Hey, y/n sensei! Could you meet me in the old storage room near the gym? I really need your help with something super important!

You furrow your eyebrows in confusion. Other than the fact that this text is free of spelling mistakes, the request itself is quite strange. However, since your relationship with your students has been nothing but great, you put trust in them—as much as an adult can, anyway—and Yuji is no exception.

Thus, you grab your coat and make your way to the storage room. Truth be told, it’s rarely used and a bit dusty, which raises a lot of questions in your head as to why Yuji would need you there, but then you remember that it’s also tucked away enough for privacy. As you approach, you notice the door slightly ajar.

"Yuji?" you call out as you step inside.

No longer than ten seconds after you’re in, the door slams shut behind you, making you jump in terror. You whirl around, heart racing. Your hand reaches for the handle but the desperate attempt is futile.

What the actual fu-

“Oh, it’s just you.”

A helpless scream leaves your throat as you turn all the other way around and find yourself staring at the one and only Satoru Gojo, the man who’s been occupying way too much space in your thoughts lately.

Gojo seems composed when he offers you his signature smirk, leaning casually against the wall, his blindfold pulled up so his mesmerising blue eyes are visible. "I was expecting a student ambush or something."

"Yeah, well... same here, kinda,” you mutter, as you try to control your breathing. After a few moments, reality hits and your cheeks heat up as you realise you’re completely alone with him in a—not so very comfortable—space. "Did they trick you into coming here too?"

He nods. "I got a text from Megumi saying something about needing immediate help. Guess we're both suckers."

You cross your arms and sigh, slightly relieved that at least you aren’t a victim of some really serious prank. You glance at the door one last time. "Well, it's locked now, so I guess we're stuck."

There is an awkward silence for a few moments. The tension between you two has always been evident, but neither of you ever made a move to address it. You often find yourself stammering around Gojo, unable to handle the teasing words or the way his eyes linger on you a little too long sometimes.

Gojo, on the other hand, despite his confident front, is surprisingly shy when it comes to you. Sure, he makes his usual sarcastic comments and tries to act like all is fine, but deep down, he’s always been afraid of saying the wrong thing and accidentally hurting you.

"So,” you start, scratching the back of your neck awkwardly, “you think this is some kind of setup?"

He chuckles, walking closer to you. "Oh, absolutely. Our adorable students are trying to play matchmaker. I should’ve known when I saw Yuji smiling like a fool earlier."

You roll your eyes, trying to ignore how close he’s standing now. "Well, it's not going to work. We’re professionals."

"Sure, because professionals definitely get trapped in storage rooms," Gojo quips, flashing you a grin. "Besides, I think they just wanted to speed up the inevitable."

You blink, feeling your pulse quicken. "Inevitable?"

Acting dumb won’t slow down that inevitable, either.

"You know," he replies with a nonchalant shrug. "Us."

You narrow your eyes, though your heart is now undoubtedly hammering in your chest. "You have a lot of nerve assuming there's an 'us,' Satoru."

He raises an eyebrow, stepping even closer, his tone dripping with playful sarcasm. "Please, y/n, I've seen the way you look at me. You're totally into me."

Your mouth drops open, a mix of embarrassment and irritation bubbling up. Sure, he’s absolutely right, you’re head over heels for your handsome and charismatic coworker, but hell, he makes it sound one-sided when that’s so far from the truth.

“Excuse me? You’re the one who’s always staring at me during meetings. It’s creepy."

"Oh, so you notice me staring," he teases, his grin widening. "Admit it, you like it."

"I do not!" you huff in honest annoyance, cheeks burning. "And even if I did, why would I ever admit it to you? Your ego is already big enough to take up the whole room."

Gojo dramatically places a hand over his heart. "Ouch. You wound me, darling. Here I was, thinking we had a good thing going."

You cross your arms and shoot him a glare. "Yeah, well, you're delusional."

Denial will get you nowhere, you’re well aware, but the fact that Gojo is so cocky about it flips a switch inside you which makes consider whether your should jump him or jump him.

He chuckles as he leans in slightly, his face only inches from yours now. "Am I? Or are you just too shy to admit you like me?"

You swallow hard, refusing to back down. "Like you? Please, you're insufferable."

"Insufferable, huh?" he murmurs, his voice dropping an octave. "Then why haven't you moved away yet?"

Fair point.

Your breath hitches in your throat. Yes, you could have backed up, put some distance between you two, but instead, you’re just rooted in place, caught in the intensity of his gaze. Gojo’s smirk softens.

"You're cute when you're mad, you know that?"

You scoff, though it comes out weaker than intended. "And you're annoying, as always."

He tilts his head, his eyes glinting with amusement. "Maybe, but you like me anyway."

You open your mouth to retort, but before you can form any sort of response, his lips are on yours, cutting you off with a sudden kiss. For a moment, you freeze in shock, but then, instinct takes over, and you kiss him back. His lips are sweet, soft, and despite the teasing and the banter, the kiss is gentle, almost tender. Gojo's hand embraces your waist and slowly pulls you in, while the other rests on your face, and you can’t help but melt under his touch.

When you finally pull away, both of you are slightly breathless, and his usual cocky grin is replaced with a softer smile.

"See?" he whispers. "Told you it was inevitable."

“You're still insufferable."

"As if it doesn’t turn you on," he teases, leaning in for another kiss.

Outside the storage room, Nobara, Yuji, and Megumi exchange their triumphant high-fives.

"Mission accomplished," Nobara whispers.

Yuji nods. “Nicely done, Kugusaki."

Megumi shrugs his shoulders, glad that the whole thing is finally over.

You fell for the oldest trick in the book.

[bryce-bucher]

500 CALIBER CONTRACTZ Post #12

Dialogue!!!11:

The main thing I did over the past week or so was put together this dialogue system. The system itself was fairly easily to implement, and I think the only interesting part of the process to share is how I went about making the UI. As per usual, I wanted to have a cool mechanical feeling ui, but at the same time a friend of mine suggested an AOL instant messenger inspired chat window. I loved both of these ideas so I decided to combine them into a screen that pops up and contains the aim-like window. The modeling process for the screen was similar to how I went about making the other two bits of ui that are on screen in the above photos, but I decided to include a VGA port.

VGA PORT:

I didn't originally plan to include a VGA port, but I was in the middle of researching monitors and accidentally left a window open on my computer that just had a big photo of one and I went "wait a minute.". With my final two braincells I suddenly decided to slap together a model for the port which I ended up being proud enough of to, for some reason, make an entire section for it.

Sorry if any of the above sentences read horribly. I am going to need a third braincell if you want this stuff to be coherent. Anyway, Blender is so cool. Using the array modifier to make all these lil squares for the holes in the port is just such a satisfying process. I've come to really like makin pre-rendered assets like this.

New Movez:

This is actually a pretty big inclusion, and I probably should've ranked it in my mind above the VGA port. I added some new movement options to the game!

Firstly, I added this melee move where you swing the back of the sniper forwards to propel yourself a bit. It is mainly useful as a bunnyhop that allows you to conserve momentum.

Next up I added this kick that happens if you melee while in the air. It's basically just the one from mario64. It lets you gain a little bit more height and distance. It also becomes way more effective if you have a lot of momentum. A good tool for correcting jumps and reaching new heights.

Finally, we have the big schmovement slide. This slide gives you a huge burst of speed that you can jump out of in order to send your self flyin. Surprisingly, it didn't really break any of the level design and ended up being a really fun addition imo. In order to perform it, you have to do a ground pound and then melee as you hit the ground. Also, I feel like I basically stole this from pseudoregalia. Played through that recently and it has been a good source of inspiration.

Nova!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:

This is a cameo skin I've been really excited to finally make myself put in the game. Anodyne 2 is a really important game to me, and I love it much. I'm really happy tha folks at analgesic let me put her in here, and I'm p happy with how her model came together. If you haven't peeped the Anodyne games I highly recommend them. The first one was a major inspiration for parts of Fatum Betula.

Conclusion:

Lately I've been playing this game way too much. It has made it impossible for me to tell if it is fun or well designed. Some problems cropped up during playtesting that ima need to address, and I hope that it all comes together into something that one could say is "fun and cool". I think takin this weekend off is gonna do my brain good. Oh yeah also I feel like I should advertise that I'm still doing commissions if anyone is interested. Anyway, have a good 1 and enjoy urself.

[bunnys-babies]

Talk To You, pt. 2

Megumi Fushiguro x gn!reader

wc: 1.2k

pt. 2 / ?

warning(s): mentions of puke, mentions of taxidermy - so if any of that really icks you out tread lightly :)

a/n: it’s been a while, but if anyone recalls pt. 1 of this, it’s just a continuation 🥰 (feel free to read hehe) but it’s not necessarily required! Could be read as a stand alone :)) just a silly and nervous first date 🤍🤍 reblogs and comments are always appreciated!! I hope you enjoy :3 also, I am very behind on JJK, please do not spoil anything in the tags because I do see them! So if this is “canon divergent”, that’s why LMAO

pt. 1

He’s going to puke. He’s absolutely, 100%, sure of it.

He’s so sweaty that he’s certain he must stink, he hates his outfit, and why is his hair so frizzy? He knew he shouldn’t have listened to Kugisaki and let her “do him up”.

The bus seat vibrates beneath him and emits one of the most brain piercing rattles he thinks he’s ever heard as he impatiently waits for his stop.

Oh god, they aren’t gonna think I’m a loser for taking the bus, are they?

Sighing and picking at the cuticle along his thumb nail, he does his best to focus on keeping track of the colors of the cars passing by. What good would dwelling on your perception of him do when it’s only making him continue to profusely sweat anyways?

It’s been a week since he got your number. Well, since Yuuji got your number for him, sort of.

And over the course of that week, Megumi’s convinced himself he’s done nothing besides behave like a fool.

He’s spelt your name wrong, twice, and then wondered why he even felt the need to address you by name in text. He sent you a list of options for dates, listing location and expected cost, as well as sending them in order of “most to least active”. And then, when you surprisingly agreed and made a choice, he sent you a calendar invite.

Nothing about this even seemed remotely out of the ordinary to him until Kugisaki asked how you both ended up deciding on going through a “local, close up walkthrough” of a taxidermist’s home.

“Huh?” Her eyes widened and her mouth hung open after she spoke, eager, and a little scared, to hear Megumi’s response.

“Well, out of our options, it was the most cost effective and productive choice. Lots of conversation starters. They seemed pretty interested.”

Doubt and embarrassment began to knot his stomach at the lack of response from Kugisaki.

“What? They picked it. So clearly they wanted to go to this thing.”

Still no response.

“Right?”

Crickets.

“Kugisaki.”

Pressing her mouth into a thin line, she stops her relentless fidgeting over Megumi’s hair and clothes and crosses her arms over her chest instead.

“Fushiguro,”, she spoke slowly and softly, “couple questions. One, did you offer this idea? Two, if so, what were the other options?”

Something about the way she spoke only increased his anxiety.

Oh, he messed up.

Unfortunately, after explaining himself, there wasn’t any time left to get some sort of reassurance from her that he hadn’t completely fucked this all up.

And god, why did he have to approach this so… professionally?

He stopped himself from letting out a groan before the brakes squealed at an alarming volume as the bus came to a stop.

Muttering out a nearly silent thanks to the driver, he takes a step out onto the darkened sidewalk. It must have rained earlier.

It takes him about 20 minutes to locate and walk to the house, his shoes covered in a shine from the dew still fresh on the grass.

As he waits, part of him is wishing you just don’t show up. This has just all played out in the worst way, and he’d rather take the embarrassment of being stood up than being around you for an hour, possibly multiple, while you pretend he isn’t a freak and that you aren’t showing up out of anything but pity.

His stomach churns at the sound of a car door shutting, and he’s back to that god forbidden feeling like he’s going to hurl, when he hears a soft “Fushiguro?” being called out to him from his left.

A visibly strained smile is offered to you as Megumi turns to greet you.

God, you knew this sweater was too gaudy.

“How was the drive for yo-“

“Looks like it rain-“

Awkward laughs are exchanged at the sudden silence you both sit in after accidentally interrupting each other.

After, Megumi silently insists you continue to speak with a few hand gestures and nod of his head.

“Yeah, I was just gonna ask how the drive was for you! It rained pretty hard where I was coming from, and I swear my wipers were ready to fly off.”

Damnit.

“Oh, yeah, I didn’t drive.” He turned his body to face the front of the house, hoping his embarrassment was less visible from the side of his face.

“Oh nice idea, I hate driving in the rain. I totally should’ve considered that.” Turning to face the house yourself, you wait for him to take the first steps before walking forward.

A mixture of relief and bashfulness wash over him at your simple response and unexpected, but welcoming, flattery.

Nice idea.

Fighting back the small smile and pride swelling in his chest, he begins to walk forward, doing his best to strike conversation as you make your way to the front door despite the nagging stomach ache he’s gotten.

He’s never been so nervous before.

Kugisaki has no idea what she was talking about, this is going to be simply lovely.

—

The vomit covering the top of your shoes as you rub the spot between Megumi’s shoulder blades is staring at him. And if it could laugh and point it’d probably be doing that, too.

“You okay?” You speak so soft he almost doesn’t hear you ask.

No, he’s not okay.

He just blew chunks all over both of your shoes (and the eclectic man’s maroon carpet), vomited again at the smell, and then nearly tripped his way down the front steps as he continued to puke into the Taxidermist’s front lawn.

“Yeah, ‘m fine.”

Maybe it was a little more than just his nerves making him nauseous.

“Y’know, if I knew you were gonna get this freaked out over the ‘Pope Mouse’, I would’ve gone with the bird watching option instead.”

It takes him a minute to realize you’re joking. You’re actually joking with him and trying to salvage whatever this is.

Whether it was out of shock, sympathy at your mediocre attempt of a joke, or the image of that poor dead rat dressed up as the pope, he let out a low chuckle.

He kept his posture leaned over and his head down, waiting to make sure he truly was all done, when you realized your hand was still rubbing gentle circles into his upper back. Gingerly, you lifted your hand and placed it in your pocket, trying not to focus on the vomit on your shoes.

All things considered, you really were having a great time.

He’s strange, definitely a little shy, maybe even abrasive, not the best at conversation, has interesting ideas of fun, and literally threw up on your shoes, but he was such a sweetheart. It helped he was more than nice to look at sure, but his nervousness and slightly off-putting personality did nothing but attract you even more.

You’ve never been on a more eventful date, that’s for sure. And you’ve never met someone who clearly put so much thought into spending time with you, and his anxiety was more than obvious. Did he really like you that much?

Regardless, you thought he at least deserved another chance at a second date, one where you could actually get to know more about him other than the fact he might have a weak stomach.

“If you promise not to puke in my car, and help me clean off our shoes, we can try again. Probably somewhere we can sit and chat instead of stare at poorly done taxidermy.”

Unfortunately, before you could offer up any good ideas, he was back to busying himself with vomiting.

At least he’s really cute.

——————

taglist: @plutowrites @lunarsap @alonezz @softjaegerhours @onismikasa (if you’d like to be removed/added please let me know!)

[crusty-chronicles]

Sandwiched between (Ging x Reader x Kite)

Synopsis: Getting a little too drunk, you and your friends start getting frisky. Unfortunately for you, you're sandwiched between a man who wants to ruin you and another who treats you like glass.

Part 2

NSFW, So minors get out 😤

Warnings: threesome, fingering, anal, vaginal sex, drunk sex, friends with benefits kind of, cum, hickies, AFAB reader, slow burn I guess, I love me some exposition okay. 🥺

----------------

It's a bit hazy to you how it started. The feeling of soft kisses under your jaw and the scrape of stubble across your neck had distracted you. Fingers working to rid you of your clothes while others eagerly touched exposed skin.

It must have had something to do with.....

Oh

You remembered now.

------------------------

It was rare the three of you were in the same place. Ging always on the move searching for new ruins. Kite constantly traveling to complete new surveys on recently discovered species. And you changing labs every now and then to study the stars.

It was miraculous, really, that the three of you had ended up in the same town. A few quick phone calls later, and you had all agreed to meet up at a bar to celebrate the new discoveries. (Although it took a little more convincing for the flakiest of the group to say yes. Namely, saying you'd tell his son where he was if he didn't get his ass over there.)

The bar you'd chosen to meet up in wasn't too crowded. The noise level was decent and the atmosphere was cozy. Surprisingly, Ging was the first one to get there.

Who made sure to let you know when you arrived last.

"Well look who finally decided to make it? I've been waiting for an hour."

You directed your attention to Kite.

"We've only been waiting twenty minutes. He's already on his fifth shot," he said while gesturing to a very pouty Ging.

"Ass, couldn't even wait for me to get here to start drinking." Your tone was teasing as you took your seat.

"Yeah, yeah. What kept you anyways? I mean it was your idea to go out drinking. You'd think the one who suggested it would be here first." Ging grumbled. Reaching for another shot before you stole it from him.

"Hey, it's not my fault I was late. Some braindead idiot lost all the research we gathered. We had to manually log in everything again and make several copies just in case. Such a pain."

You threw your head back and downed the shot. Your face scrunched up at the strong burn in your throat.

"Getting shit-faced tonight, I see?" You noted.

A huff of amusement from your left.

"You'll be more than shit-faced if you keep stealing his drinks. Here, this one's not as strong." Kite nudged a small glass towards you.

You took a swing and were delightfully surprised. The drink was a little sweeter and not too rough going down.

"You know me so well." You wriggled your eyebrows at the taller male, making him thwap the back of your head.

"Ow. Ging, Kite's bullying me." You whined.

"Good. That's what you get for stealing my shot. You owe me fifty cents for that by the way."

"Fifty cents? You're such an ass."

With the drinks flowing, you all became a little looser. Laughing and shoving each other for what felt like the first time in years. Faces tinted rosy shades from the alcohol. It was a pleasant change of pace from working tirelessly as Hunters.

"So what did you find?" You questioned Ging.

"Believe it or not we excavated a bunch of tombs. There was some dead language scrawled on the top of them that we're probably gonna decipher tomorrow."

"You got pictures?"

"The association doesn't really want that stuff out there yet."

The three of you looked at each other in silence for a second. Then drunken laughter rang out.

"Yeah fuck that, I've got ten. Wanna see?"

Ging pulled out his phone and placed it in the middle. He leaned over your right shoulder while Kite leaned over your left. Sarcophagus-like tombs were displayed on the screen.

"Okay Mr. Lurka Ruins. Fancy stuff." You then turned your head to address Kite.

"And you? What freaky little creatures did you find?" Your words were starting to become slightly slurred.

"My team and I managed to discover fifteen new species of insect."

You opened your mouth to speak, but were cut off.

"And before you ask, yes I did snag a few pictures. Here."

You sat contently as Kite's phone swapped with Ging's in the middle. Your eyes lit up with each new bug.

"You found those all here?"

"Yeah.... Now what have you been up to?"

Both men watched as you giddily reached in your pocket.

"Not to brag buuuut- Guess who discovered a planet!!!"

You switched on your phone and proudly showed your lock screen. A dark blue orb with black rings of stardust.

Ging let out a low whistle before speaking.

"Damn, not too shabby. Your little telescope picked that up?"

You nodded enthusiastically, a sight that was endearing.

"Hell yeah! And I'm working on a better model to be able to make out the details better. Three stars here I come!"

You had accidentally leaned you all the way back into Kite. You flashed a bright smile from your position. He grinned back before continuing the conversation.

"And you're gonna make sure to apply for it right? You're not gonna be lazy like Ging."

A protest of 'Hey' from the scuffed-up Hunter as you righted yourself up.

"Nope. Ging always sets the worst examples, like parenting." An offended gasp was heard.

"Kite, Y/n's bullying me!"

You stuck your tongue out.

"Can't you two argue without putting me in the middle?" Kite said, his tone exasperated.

Your playful banter with your friends was cut off by a stranger approaching. A tap on your shoulder had you swiveling around on the barstool.

"Can I help you?" You figured whoever it was just wanted directions.

Unbeknownst to you, it was some skeez who was hoping to get lucky tonight. He noticed you sitting down, along with your choice of company. A very scuffed up looking man who was probably homeless and wandered into the bar. And another gaunt dude who looked like a fragile push over.

Obviously you were in need of someone better. A pretty thing like you would do wonders for him.

"You most definitely can."

The semi-sober one of the group, Kite, was able to pick out this guy's predatory tone easily. A look at Ging told him he wasn't too fond of this stranger either.

"Why don't you ditch these losers and spend your night with a real man?" The skeez had a smug smirk on his face.

You, however, were not amused.

"Excuse me?" You weren't too thrilled about some stranger ruining your night with your friends. But this guy didn't take the hint.

"No need to be shy. I promise you'll enjoy yourself if you come home with me tonight."

You laughed, but it was a mocking one. And even though both men wouldn't have hesitated to put this guy in his place, they knew you could handle it yourself. Plus, you'd probably be upset if one of them tried to step in.

"Ten bucks says they kick his ass." Ging addressed from over your shoulder.

"Twenty says we get kicked out for it." Kite added.

Attention was back on you as you slammed your drink down at the guy's pestering.

"C'mon, don't be difficult. I can give you double than what these guys are paying."

Yeah that dude was fucked.

"Well 'these guys' can probably fuck me better with their fingers than you can with your two centimeter dick. And it's kinda sad, dont'cha think? Paying someone to touch you because no sane person would ever try?"

The skeez froze. Anger replacing his smug expression.

"You know what, you're a slut anyways."

Ging looked over at Kite once more.

"Fifty says we have to pay for damages."

You shot up from your seat and approached the man. The anger turning into shock as you lifted him by his collar and slammed him through a table. You were very respected in your field, and they knew you wouldn't take being talked down to. Plus, your already short fuse was made even shorter thanks to the drinks running through your system.

You wiped your hands on your slacks and returned to your seat.

"Fucking hell. There goes my night." The bartender eyed you as you sat down. You quickly offered up your card.

"Here, for the table."

Your expression turned grumpy, turning to look behind at the mess you made and grumbling out profanities.

"Think it's a sign I should stop drinking?" You asked.

"You should. But are you really gonna commit after you've been pissed off?" Kite responded, trying to help distract you.

"Absolutely not. If anything, I'm gonna destroy my liver and get the biggest hangover of my life tomorrow."

Even though the conversation started to shift little by little, a certain Ruins Hunter couldn't shake your earlier words out of his head.

'Well 'these guys' can probably fuck me better with their fingers than you can-'

An idea said so offhandedly, it shouldn't be taken seriously. Yet here he was, unable to rid the image of you spread out so nicely, crying at the way his fingers hit all the right spots inside you.

A thought he would blame on the alcohol for fogging up his good judgement.

And it had him thinking. Maybe both of you could celebrate in a different way tonight. To be fair, you were all just about to be kicked out of this shit bar for using that guy to destroy the table. Besides, if you got uncomfortable, he'd stop and that would be that. No harm no foul.

So he leaned over, stubble brushing against your ear as he spoke.

"You know, if you really wanted to test that earlier theory out, I'm open to it."

You choked on your drink the moment those words left his mouth. Immediately your face went a darker shade and you sputtered for a response.

"You are honestly the worst." Your eyes looked everywhere but at him.

"Yeah, but I think I know my way around a body or two. Let's have some fun tonight. We did come all this way to 'celebrate.'" Then a bite to your lobe.

And the touch wasn't unwelcome. The advances weren't icky like that other drunk's. They made you feel hot and bothered in a very good way. Maybe it was the buzz of alcohol in your system. Maybe it was because you knew Ging so well. Or maybe, just maybe, it had to do with the fact that your other friend was right next to you watching.

----------

Kite knew what Ging was doing, and he wasn't too happy about it. The dirty things being whispered in your ear had your legs squeezing themselves together. Your reaction was very much positive. And he wouldn't deny your earlier words having an effect on him too. But he was not about to let his best friend whisk you away to go fuck somewhere.

At least not without trying to woo you himself first.

Cautiously, he placed his hand on your thigh. The act catching you off guard and effectively sending shivers down your spine.

Heat starting to pool in your stomach from both of their ministrations.

Kite flashed you an innocent look when you directed your attention towards him. Hand inching higher up your thigh, lightly caressing your covered skin.

Then another lustful murmur in your ear from Ging.

"Looks like someone else wants to have fun. Think you have enough room to fit the both of us inside?"

The thought had you squirming. And as tempting as it was, this was neither the time nor place.

"Both of you behave. We're in public." But the hand on your thigh dipped between your legs and the lips against your ear trailed down to your neck.

--------------------------

You'd given in quickly after that, dragging the both of them out and towards your apartment. Which was fortunately close by. And thank god it was because as soon as you opened the door, enthusiastic hands were back on you.

"Play nice," You warned after Ging had turned your head away from Kite's to stick his tongue down your throat.

A grumble, but no further protest as you all stumbled towards your bed.

A soft kiss that turned feral from the silver haired hunter. Bottom lip being tugged by his teeth. You gasped lightly at the suckling sensation on your neck from the other male. Both of them working together to rid you of your shirt.

"Feel good? No regrets?" The question was mumbled against your skin by Kite.

How sweet.

Your bra was quickly discarded and one of your nipples was enveloped by Ging's mouth.

"Mmm, feels great. But you're both going a little slow." You pulled away from the duo and shimmied out of your pants. A noticeable damp spot on your panties as you spread your legs open.

"Fingers only. And if you can make me cum in twenty minutes, we can do whatever you want. Sound fair?"

If they weren't hard before, they most certainly were now. A shared look between the two. It would be a team effort.

You were pushed lightly down on the mattress and watched as troublesome clothing was discarded. Hats and cloaks thrown to the side so they wouldn't get in the way. You let out a noise of disapproval as your poor underwear was ripped to shreds.

"Here, get these wet for me." Ging placed two of his fingers in front of your mouth. You obeyed and suckled on his calloused digits.

"Help us get you started, okay?" A different set of fingers placed themselves against your lips. You opened up and let them slide in. Your warm tongue taking turns wrapping around each one.

Your mouth would definitely be a point of interest later.

Even though you were soaking at this point, it didn't hurt to add a little more natural lubricant. In fact, it would probably feel even better.

Once they were sure their fingers were wet enough, they were removed from your mouth with a 'pop.' Never one for patience, Ging quickly thrusted his fingers inside your welcoming hole. You let out a hiss from the stretch that turned into a whine as Kite applied delicious pressure against your clit.

"Fuck!" Neither of them were going slow. If anything, they were speeding up at the sound of your pleasured cries. The fingers thrusting into your cunt grazing your g-spot. The ones circling your sensitive bundle of nerves were precise and unrelenting.

You feebly moved your hips to try and match their pace. A feeling of pride and smugness at the fact that you were coming undone so quickly. That yes, their fingers were proving to be more than enough for you.

But you needed to reach your high faster if other activities were to happen. The sooner you did, the better the night would get.

"Let's switch," Ging suggested. Kite stopped his movements for a second to hear him out.

"Your fingers are a little longer and mine are more calloused. Worth a shot, dont'cha think?"

A devious smirk made its way onto the taller male's face, understanding what Ging was getting at.

"Oh most definitely."

You were left confused as both men pulled away. Only to practically scream as bigger fingers plunged into your needy cunt and repeatedly hit your g-spot, along with rougher ones abusing your puffy clit. It was different than before. Better.

And the combined stimulation had your legs shaking. The coil in your stomach tightening at an alarming pace.

"Right there!" You encouraged. The fast pace from before was back. A few more well-coordinated movements and you were cumming hard.

Your legs fighting to close, but the death grip on your thighs prevented them from doing so. Both men wanting to see your climax in full.

The tremors going through your body. The way your hands fisted the sheets above you. Your pussy clenching around nothing as Kite removed his fingers. And your release leaking down your legs.

It took you a second to catch your breath. The haze in your mind clearing up and noticing the lustful stares from your friends.

"How long was that?" You asked. Regardless, you'd still let them do what they pleased with you. You were in no rush to cut tonight short after that.

"Fifteen minutes." Ging proudly announced.

You let out a small laugh.

"Hey what's funny!?!"

"You being so excited, stupid."

A small slurping sound interrupted your banter. The need in your core was back as you watched Kite lick his fingers clean of your juices.

He flashed you a wolfish grin when he met your gaze.

These men would be the death of you.

"So what's next? You fuck me?" Maybe you were a tad bit more excited than you should be. But after seeing what they could do with just their fingers, you were eager to see what they could accomplish with more.

"Doesn't sound like a bad idea." Ging said, discarding his shirt before moving to undo his pants.

"Who would you want inside?" Kite asked, starting to strip down as well. Your answer was immediate.

"You, obviously."

"What!?!? Why does Kite get to be inside!?!" Ging complained. You gave a small glare in return.

"Remind me again which one of us has a kid? Maybe if you'd brought a condom I would consider it." It sounded like you were lecturing a child. And in a sense you were, a man child to be exact.

A possessive hand pulled you forward.

"Did you bring a condom?" The question was genuine from Kite, who was not prepared to defend against why he should be the one fucking your cunt instead of a protected Ging.

"Why would I bring one?!?! It's not like I knew I would be having sex tonight!!! And you didn't bring one either! It's not fair!" Ging pointed an accusatory finger at the silver haired male.

"Yeah? Well I trust Kite's pull-out game a helluva lot better than I trust yours. Zero beats one," You butted in.

"Fine, but if you get pregnant we'll all know who the father is."

"And I'll probably be a better one than you," Kite defended.

"No. No, no, no. I am not getting knocked up. You-," you pointed at Kite. "Are going to pull out. I'll buy some plan b in the morning. And you-," you pointed at Ging this time. "Need to decide where or what you want to fuck."

A beat of silence.

"I want your ass. Good with that?" A fair trade if he was being honest. He'd get to hear you scream and fuck the next best thing.

"I can make peace with that. So do we just...." You'd never been in a situation like this before. You didn't know who went where or what the proper position would be. All three of you on shaky knees on top of your bed. It was new territory that not even the wonders of booze could downplay.

"Here. Face me. Arms up here. And wait for Ging to go in first. Then we'll ease you down on me. Okay?" Kite's directions were comforting. His soft tone doing wonders to relax your body.

So you listened and wrapped your arms around his shoulders, waiting patiently for the man behind you to make his move.

You felt a finger prod at your ass and jumped.

"What? You've never had something in your ass before?" You weren't too fond of the teasing tone Ging had.

"No shit Sherlock. So you better go slow. And be damn grateful you're the first one I let in there!" You threw over your shoulder.

A finger pushed into you, the feeling foreign. Your body tensed up at the unfamiliar intrusion.

"Relax, it won't hurt that bad." Ging assured.

Another entered. Both thrusting into your ass slowly, spreading your tight ring of muscles open. Prepping you for his achy cock.

He was desperate to just shove himself in and chase his own high, but you were his friend. And your comfort came first. Even if he wouldn't admit it out loud.

So he took his time getting you accustomed to his fingers. Gently pushing in and out until he added a third.

You made a noise of discomfort at the added stretch. Fingers digging into Kite's shoulders to ground yourself.

"You're doing so good. Just relax, okay? If it hurts you can scratch me. But you'll be fine." A kiss on your pulse from the silver haired Hunter.

You nodded, feeling Ging remove his fingers and something bigger poke at your entrance.

"Take a deep breath and count to three. I'll go as slow as you need. Promise." You were surprised by how sweet Ging was being.

Aww, he cared.

You did as he instructed. You took a deep breath. One. Two. Three-

"SHIT!" You tried to move forward to get away from the burning intrusion, but Kite's grip kept you in place. You didn't know if it hurt so badly because you'd never done anal before, or if Ging was just too big for you to handle.

Either way, you endured the pain as best you could. Nails unfortunately breaking through Kite's skin. A damn shame.

"You're taking me so well. Already halfway in. Just a little more and we can take care of you. Don't be stupid and force yourself if it's too much, kay?"

A jolt of pleasure at Ging's praise. Not enough to dull the pain of your hole being stretched, but it was a start.

The feeling of lips against your neck distracted you. Your grip relaxing slightly.

"Almost there. Let me give you a reward for being so good."

The calloused pads of fingers made their way back to your clit while tender lips made their way to your chest, hand and mouth messing with your perky buds.

The pain was mixing with pleasure in a way that left you breathless. Unable to identify if you liked the combination or not. You felt Ging bottom out at last. He kept still, hands having a steady grip on your hips.

"There we go. Wasn't too bad now, was it?"

You shook your head, body trying its best to get used to the new sensation of having your ass full.

"Told you you'd be fine. Now, are you ready for me?" Kite whispered softly to you.

"I'm ready." You figured this would be the easy part. It was something you'd done before. Something familiar. It wouldn't hurt.

At least that's what you had thought.

Kite rubbed his member against your entrance, gathering slick so he would slip in easily. He aligned himself properly and pushed in slowly. Wanting to savor the feeling of you wrapped around him. He was surprised to feel how tight you were.

He barely registered your nails digging into his shoulders again until he heard you sniffle. Looking up, he saw you fighting back tears.

Concern for your well-being filled both of them.

But it wasn't because you couldn't handle it. It was just-

"Why the fuck are you both so big!?!" You whined.

It might've not been the best thing to say while both of them were getting adjusted. Neither of them could control their body's response to your words. A harsh snap of the hips from Ging and a hard thrust from Kite at your admission.

"Shit, don't say things like that yet. We're gonna hurt you, dumbass." Ging lectured, trying his best to keep still inside you.

But the thought that they were the biggest you've ever had, was making it very hard.

"S'not my fault. Feels too full inside." Both of your holes wrapped snugly around their cocks.

Another involuntary thrust inside you.

"Just tell us when you're ready. Can't hold back if you keep talking." Kite groaned against your ear, having fully bottomed out.

Your body felt hot, unused to being filled so well. Core burning with need at the fact. You were in for a long night.

"Okay. Go."

You felt them pull out slightly, the sting from your ass slowly dissipating while the uncomfortable stretch to your cunt became pleasurable.

Both setting a slow pace to get you used to the feeling. Lengths dragging against your sensitive walls until it drove you crazy. You might not be able to walk properly tomorrow.

"Faster, please." Your voice shaky with your request.

Hands around your hips tightened along with another set above them.

"I thought you'd never ask," Was Ging's cheeky response before ramming himself back in. The sudden harshness from his movements earning a gasp. The force making you crash into Kite's chest.

"Make sure to let us know if it's too much." Soft words before he righted you up and started slamming into you.

Immediately your eyes lulled up into your skull. Your cunt and ass taking them over and over. A loud squelching starting to fill the room. Grunts and groans sounding in your ears.

You couldn't help but throw your head back at a perfectly coordinated thrust from both. With your neck bared open, rough lips quickly attached themselves to the skin.

Your arms reached behind you to pull Ging closer, encouraging his assault against your neck. Crying out as he bit down on a sensitive spot.

You were vaguely aware of another set of lips trailing down to your chest. Eyes widening as a wet heat enveloped one of your nipples. Tongue lapping the sensitive bud before switching to the other.

You moved one of your arms back down and fisted silver locks, tugging Kite closer to your chest. The feeling of both mouths on you causing your holes to clench down.

It was getting harder and harder to form a coherent thought. Your throat going sore from your cries. Your poor body caught in a tug of war between the two men. Arms wrapped tightly around your body to angle themselves better.

Cocks hitting you in all the right places even though their movements greatly differed.

Ging's were fast and erratic, like he was jackrabbiting into you. Kite's were deep and sensual, like he was savoring your warmth.

It was hard to tell which you liked more. The brutal pace inside your ass stretching you like no one else had. Or the loving one inside your pussy that opened you up nice and slowly.

It didn't matter either way. What mattered was the way both had you seeing stars behind your eyes at the unwavering pleasure.

Your head was turned sharply to the side. Rough lips covering yours with an eager tongue slipping past. A groan from the Ruins Hunter as your tongues danced together, the taste of liquor a friendly reminder of tonight's earlier events.

Your head was guided away from him and towards a softer pair of lips. Kissing you tenderly before licking your lips for entrance. You obeyed and whined as Kite's tongue swiped across the roof of your mouth, getting a proper taste of you.

He pulled away with a string of saliva connecting the two of you.

The sight had your body tensing up and clenching down as your orgasm approached. You felt a smirk against your shoulder before a husky voice filled your ears.

"You liked being fucked, huh? Like having your little ass pounded into? Like Kite's cock splitting you open? Gonna cum already? You're such a baby."

Heat flooded your belly at Ging's words. Grinding your hips back into him as the coil wound itself tighter. Then there was a gentler voice in your other ear. One that was less cruel but had a very similar effect.

"That's it. You're squeezing me so tight. You enjoying yourself? Feel nice fucking your best friends? Cuz it sure as hell feels nice fucking you."

Your head felt dizzy from the different tone in words. Both making your slick drip down in between your bodies. You just couldn't hold on anymore, the shafts pounding into your holes becoming too much.

"Cumming! Gonna make me cu-ahh!" You let out a scream at the feeling of fingers rubbing against your clit once again. And it would have been comical to see both fighting and swatting the other away to touch your sensitive nub.

Key word: would've.

But the added sensation only had your mind going blank. The coil snapping as you spasmed around Kite's cock and clenched down on Ging's. The pleasured little ripples letting them know you'd reached your high.

Neither of them stopped to let you catch your breath. Even as tears of overstimulation started to form. You were just so nice and tight around them. Your gooey walls discouraging them from pulling out.

Until Ging got the bright idea to change things up a bit. This position was a little awkward and you did just cum twice.

You were lifted and swiftly pulled off Kite's cock, much to his displeasure and confusion.

"Wh-? Hey!"

"We'll have more fun this way."

You were set down ass up and face in front of Kite's dick. If you were being honest, you didn't mind this new change of position. The only thing you missed was being filled up so perfectly by both men. But this would do just fine.

------------------------------------------

An: A cliffhanger??? Yes, now all of you go to horny jail. I'll finish up part two later this week. I didn't expect it to be this long so the original warnings are gonna change around a bit.

[the-roo-too]

do what we like -> princess! mo jihye

-the princess enjoys teasing her dearest servant while the candles are long blown out.

warnings: none 🫶

genre: fluff

notes: i am minji biased but danielle my love my prettiest dmdnndndnsnd

ˑ༄ؘ ۪۪۫۫ ▹▫◃ ۪۪۫۫ ༄ؘ ˑ

“your majesty, if you could please stop blowing out the candle…” you sighed, watching as the monarch killed out the fire once again.

the princess turned to look at you with that little mischievous smile playing on her lips. well, you couldn’t exactly call that ‘mischievous’. nothing about her was in the slightest evil. maybe except for her love to bug you and your work.

“what do you need those for anyway?” she asked as you took out the matches, planning to light the candle again.

“the ceremony, your majesty. it is a big thing i suppose.”

jihye let out a sigh and leaned over the table. a small and very unusual frown played on her face.

“i don’t really want to get married to any of them… it’s not that i think they’re bad people! i just don’t know them i guess?”

“you needn’t explain yourself to me, your highness.” the smile returned to her face. not so surprisingly, she blew out the candle, laughing immediately at your annoyed face.

“will you be there to accompany me?”

“if that’s what your majesty wishes for, then yes, i will.”

“good.” she took the matches from your hands. lighting one up, you watched with worried eyes as she brought the flame to the knot. “i expect to see you later then.”

ˑ༄ؘ ۪۪۫۫ ▹▫◃ ۪۪۫۫ ༄ؘ ˑ

the party was boring, to put it bluntly. maybe it was because you weren’t there to enjoy it in the first place.

as the princess’s servant, you work was to stand by her side and attend her needs. maybe tell the musicians to change the tune, if she wishes so.

right now, it was hard to tell what the princess actually wanted. danielle stood near the candles, denying every single of the suitors that arrived. although the older royals wore disappointing looks on their faces, they didn’t seem much surprised at her behaviour.

even at the fact that every three people that came to her, she would turn to you, and with a bright smile, stretch her hand out.

speaking of, the third person since the last event just walked away.

“y/n, would you dance with me now?”

“it is quite unprofessional for you to address me by my name, your majesty.” your back straightened when the princess finally moved from her spot (after standing there for exactly 18 suitors).

“oh, come on! i’ve known you longer that i can name. the least you can do is allow me to call you by your name.” she could in fact name the number- eight years and three months- but you didn’t need to know that. she thought it would be embarrassing, that she kept count of that.

“i don’t think the elders would quite like that.” she laughed, laying her hand on your arm to support herself. in reflex, you stiffened in your spot, making her let out a disapproving hum.

“why so stiff all the time? would it kill you to relax?” the princess teased.

“not me necessarily. her majesty, on the other hand… it is my duty to keep an eye out, ma’am.”

“oh well. dance with me?”

“it’s a risky thing to do, your highness… everyone would be watching us.”

“i’m willing to take the risk.”

ˑ༄ؘ ۪۪۫۫ ▹▫◃ ۪۪۫۫ ༄ؘ ˑ

[captainnait]

(Decided to reuploded this post because literally no one saw it. . . Oh well. Might as well tag @whocaresifwearecrazy since they could be interested in this idk)

Something that literally no one asked for - a TTwM compilation!!

I enjoyed gathering all the questions for this one. I'm not sure if I found *all* of them, but. . . Yeah. Some clips (4 out of 13) aren't mine, so I left the source in the description.

Also I wrote a little analysis/commentary thingy for all of these, which you can read down below. It's mostly just me rambling about Bob and Milan and how stupid these two are, so don't take it too seriously. I just— I just need to get this off my chest, okay 😭 also sorry for the broken english in some of these. I was half-awake when writing lol

Anyway, would really appreciate if you watch this compilation. I might do some others in the future idk. Enjoy 💖💥

As for commentary, here it is ✨

"Ode to a Garbage Can": I put this one first in the compilation, because (imo) it shows Bob's and Milan's overall dynamic perfectly - Bob tries to be as positive and supportive of Milan as he can (although with a mild success), while Milan. . . Well, he's just being himself - extremely forward and harsh, but, in the end, not minding Bob's attitude, and even engaging in a playful back-and-forth with him. It's simple, it's nice and it's going to be a repeating pattern.

. . . Aaand it's probably the most analytical I'm going to get here. Probably.

Anyway, can't say much else about this one. They're silly

"A Crappy Question": Bob here sounds so genuinely guilty 😭. And the fact that he immediately tries to make up by helping Milan with his classes— it's pretty wholesome. . . Milan slapping the living shit out of him in the end isn't tho lol

"Get Your Finger Out of Your Nose": Milan calling out Bob on literally anything is also the main point of a lot of these. And, tbh, if I worked as a janitor somewhere, where mfs like any of ydkj hosts work, I wouldn't be so happy either bruh

Anyhow, the gross out humor in the end is nothing unusual for this game. But damn, the way Milan said "chucklehead" at the end. . . He loves that idiot I'm sorry 💥💥💥

"Urinal Chips and Dip": Bob being an idiot and getting what he deserves will NEVER not be funny to me

"Wait a minute, is this a trick question? 😠" "For you? Yes 🙄" I can't with them—

Also Milan helping Bob out a bit at the end was surprisingly nice. . . And uncommon too

"Swapping Spit": Milan calling Bob "host boy" at the start caught me off guard completely when I first heard it. And yet, somehow, he gets even more wild with the nicknames later on in the other questions lol

"Moron? Hey! >:[" Bob sounds so hurt here 😭 i like to imagine that before that he wasn't catching any insults from Milan at all up until this point. He's clueless like that

"Ugh, Milan! Why do you say things like that?" "To make you blush" Okay that's just straight up flirting—

Also Bob doesn't sound so opposed to that huh. . . Interesting. I wonder when this is going to come up again—

"Things Nobody Wants To Lick": OKAY FUCK I'M SORRY THIS ONE IS JUST INSANE. MILAN JUST CASUALLY RIPS HIS SHIRT AND SAY TO "LICK UNDERNEATH HIS SWEATY ARMPIT"? AND NOT ONLY BOB IS IMPRESSED WITH MILAN'S BODY (as he says himself), HE ALSO ISN'T OPPOSED TO HIS REQUEST IN THE END (even though it wasn't even addressed to him btw)? AND EVEN ADVICES TO SAY "THANK YOU!" AFTER THE PROCESS?? HELLO?? WHY SO 𝓯𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓴𝔂? WHY NO ONE TALKS ABOUT IT—

Ahem. Anyway, "Bob-friend" is such a great nickname, 10/10, amazing job, Milan.

Bob's "MILAN! WHAT? 😨😳" is literally my favorite thing ever

"Please? Look, begging is not gonna help, my friend" yup, I figured

(I'm not even going to comment on the last few lines lol this is already too much)

"Seven Minutes in the Broom Closet": And just when you think it can't get gayer than the last one. . . This title. What the fuck are they doing in the closet—

Bob mistaking alliteration with liter is just so him

"Haha, you said pee :D" this man literally has a mind/humor of a toddler

And yeah, Milan leaving Bob confused with his words/sayings is. Everything

"I'm Not Your Chew Toy": I'm pretty sure this is the shortest question in this category in terms of dialogue

I love that this one highlights just how patient can Bob be with Milan's rather snappy attitude (which, to be fair, is pretty reasonable for him to have)

"Gift Ideas from the Bathroom": This one. This is my favorite question in the whole game probably. . .

Milan calling Bob "Robert" (which continues running joke of Milan calling Bob different nicknames). Milan sharing his collection with Bob, who seems to be not only interested in it, but also wants to implement it in the question. Bob being a clumsy ass moron and dropping the jar, with Milan following with his (almost) catchphrase "I'm not cleaning that". Milan sharing his culture with Bob and feeding him a homemade soup, with Bob being absolutely joyful and excited to learn new things from his favorite person (while also being taken care of by said person). Milan's little "jerk" at the end, that sounds just a bit too soft to sound like an actual insult, and more like an affectionate pet name. I love this. This is amazing. If this isn't not one of the most wholesome moments in ydkj series, idk what is tbh

"Little Red Outhouse": "Hey Milan, how you doing? Good to see ya 😁" "It's a pleasure for you to see me 😇" "Yeah, i— Uh what? 🤨" This is one of my favorite exchanges between them. Milan has such a way with words sometimes idk. . .

Not much to say about this one, except the fact, that Milan washes Bob's microphone in the toilet bowl, becomes much more disgusting when you know, that in one of the questions Bob smooches his microphone. You're welcome 😇

"It Happens to the Best of Us": Crying Milan is the last thing I expected from this game, but here we are ig. As much as I feel sad for him, I can't deny that his crying voice is incredibly stupid (/pos)

"It was a horribly sad incident which took place today" I like how even when he's distraught he still tries to flex his english skills. What a king

The way Bob instantly goes "yes sir" right after Milan tells him to shut up is just. . . 😭 no comments

"Don't Forget to Wipe": Ah yes, the one where Milan blackmails Bob. Anyway

"Hm, would you like to know" THE WAY HE SOUNDS HERE I— 💥💥

Also the way Milan interrogates Bob here is just so funny to me. He's like an annoyed and slightly disappointed owner that find out his dog made a mess in the living room again. . . Weird comparison, but oh well (I've been writing this commentary for way to long)

"There's a Swosh™ on My Tush": I love this one. Mf just plays basketball in the middle of his work day and that's it. No disgusting twist, just basketball

. . . Well, except the last few seconds, where Bob straight up drools on Milan's shoes. . . Like a dog—

Okay, nah, that's it, that enough of these guys for me today istg

[dracarialove]

📄 Posting my finished fics here, too 📄

*Check the 'shadow's heart' tag if you haven't read chapter 1

[Chapter 3: Confliction]

Pulling up to the home Silver and Blaze shared, their dark-furred guest parked his Viper behind the platinum-painted Camaro and made eye contact with the lavender cat sitting in the bay window.

She hopped down from the cushioned seat while he stepped out of his car, then greeted him at the door with a surprisingly wide smile on her white muzzle.

"This has been such a long time coming," she claimed as he walked in.

"A long time?" The edge of his lip curled into a small, perplexed smile. "We've only been together for two years."

"Yes, but I can see how happy Rouge is when she's with you." Blaze led him to the living room beyond the foyer, where they sat on a gray triple-wide couch. "I'm surprised you waited to snap her up as long as you have."

One black eyebrow lowered and his slightly amused smile remained as he tilted his head at her comment. "And what about you and Silver? You two have been dating much longer than us and just got engaged a couple months ago."

The princess stiffened a bit and Shadow caught a streak of pink touching her cheeks. "Well... w-we wanted to wait! With the renovations and all... anyway-" Her expression turned determined, gold eyes locking to his. "Today is about you, and how you're going to offer Rouge your heart for the foreseeable future."

The Ultimate Lifeform chuckled lightly. "I didn't know you had this romantic side to you, Blaze. I always thought Silver was the mushy one."

"Appreciation of true love isn't exclusive to one half of the relationship, my friend. But, speaking of..."

She turned towards the back of the sofa, facing the open archway that led to the rest of the house, and raised one hand beside her mouth. "Silver! Shadow is here!"

"Oh, coming!" echoed the excited tone of the futuristic hedgehog, moments before he rushed into their living room. He was smiling wider than Blaze, and his eyes immediately darted to their guest. "So, you're finally proposing?"

Shadow scratched awkwardly behind his ear. "Uh, yeah... finally."

Before he could say anything else, Silver plopped himself down on the open couch space between them and planted one hand on his friend's shoulder, giving it a compassionate squeeze. "Congratulations, man! How are you gonna do it?"

"Uhhh..." Shadow hesitated, feeling a little overwhelmed. Silver let go of him, which allowed him some relief, but the optimistic hedgehog had given him multiple things to address in an instant – it was a bit overbearing, even though he meant well.

Blaze diverted her fiancé's attention, patting his knee with a gloved palm. "I don't think we're there just yet. There needs to be a ring first."

"Also," Shadow added, "she has to say 'yes' before you can congratulate me."

Silver looked at him as if he'd said something unbelievable. "Of course she'll say yes. She said yes to Knux, and he-"

The young man cut his own sentence short when Blaze's fingers tightened on his knee, warning him not to continue the thought. He cleared his throat, embarrassment on his face. Shadow was reminded that he still had to talk to his girlfriend about the previous run-in with Knuckles.

Silver spoke again, "Well... point is, you're great; and I know Rouge loves you a lot."

His words lit a bit of a fire in the Ultimate Lifeform again, and a warm smile drew across Shadow's muzzle. "Thank you for the confidence. Now..." He retrieved his cell phone and began pulling up his earlier search results. "... to find a worthy ring."

***

"I think a gold band would be best; Rouge does like flashy jewelry."

"Oh, but what about this icy-white one? It's so pretty, imagine how that'll sparkle! And the shape is cool!"

"Well, Shadow will certainly want a gold band to fit his style, so it's a good idea for the bride's ring to match."

"But that's the wedding ring! The engagement ring is supposed to be cute and shimmery!"

"Silver, just because that's what you got for me doesn't mean it's what Rouge would like."

Shadow was scratching behind his ear again in discomfort, staring down at the phone and listening to his friends debate the choices. His eyes wandered over to Blaze's left hand, to the glimmering aquamarine stone sitting atop a polished platinum band. It was a good choice for her, but something like that wouldn't be quite right for Rouge.

"I agree with Blaze," he spoke, looking up at their faces and ending their tame squabble. "The more obviously it shines, the better."

Silver pouted a little and Blaze smiled softly while Shadow continued, "But, to Silver's credit, I do think a curvy design would be nice."

"Wow," Blaze chimed, "look at you, making your own vision. And the stone? If I know my best friend, she'd be predictably smitten with a high-carat diamond."

"Hmm..." pondered Shadow, looking back down and idly rubbing an index finger above his lip.

"Wouldn't the gold overshadow a diamond?" Silver asked, genuinely curious.

"Perhaps, but-"

"Not to cut you off, Blaze," interrupted Shadow, "but I do have an idea. Rouge has told me her favorite gems in the world are the Chaos Emeralds. Obviously, I wouldn't be able to use one, as difficult as they are to find... but what do you think of a regular emerald?"

Silver gasped, his smile wide. "With diamonds lining the band!"

"Ooh," the cat cooed. "I actually think that's a great idea! You could get it shaped like a Chaos Emerald, I'm sure she'd love that. Green goes very well with gold."

"And it'll bring out her eyes," Shadow added, more comfortable and smiling down at his phone while searching for emerald rings.

The white hedgehog put his right hand to his heart, his expression softening into a display of deep affection for his friend's rare optimistic mood. "This is so sweet." He looked at Blaze and his free hand grabbed hers. "It makes me want to propose to you all over again."

His fiancée blushed and tensed her shoulders towards her cheeks, trying to subdue her smile. "Silver! Please, not in front of a guest..."

But she didn't need to worry about Shadow noticing her embarrassment. He was engrossed in the thought of Rouge gasping and grinning at his choice for the symbol of his intent. The pieces finally fit together in his head – the perfect ring for a perfect woman.

Silver gave Blaze a quick kiss on the cheek while Shadow wasn't looking, then stood from the couch. "Think I'll make some fried rice – get a good lunch going. You want some, Shadow? Or something else?"

Red eyes flicked up at him briefly. "Sure, that's fine."

"Cool!" The futuristic hedgehog strolled back through the nearby archway, starting to whistle a tune once he left the room. The remaining two sat in silence for a moment. Then, just before the lack of conversation got awkward, Shadow's phone rang. It was the jewel hunter herself, prompting him to stand.

"I'll take this outside," he told Blaze, who nodded and also left the sofa to seek out her cooking beau while the dark hedgehog walked out the front door.

He answered with a lighter tone than his usual deep timbre. "Hey, love."

"Hi, baby!" Her mature voice sounded elated, but longing. He understood, as he was longing for her, too. "God, it's so good to hear your voice after listening to Tower bark orders all morning."

Shadow chuckled. "He's being insufferable again, is he?"

"Always. You know he badgered me again last night about you joining G.U.N? So annoying."

"Hm. Well, with you on their team, they shouldn't need my help." He leaned back against the side of the house, bending his free arm under the other to support it.

He heard Rouge sigh and closed his eyes to picture her. She said, "I know, I'm great."

Her confidence made him chuckle and she continued, "Although, I can say these missions would be a lot more fun with you around. But don't worry, I told Tower you had better things to do than take orders from the government."

"Like... take orders from you, boss?" Shadow countered, a smirk bending his voice into a teasing tone.

The ivory bat scoffed playfully; he could tell she was grinning. "Well, yes! You can't tell me you'd rather have an old, stern, unfunny man for a superior."

"You are right, I can't. It would be a lie to pretend that I don't enjoy working for a beautiful, charming, enchanting woman... even if she is a little materialistic."

"How dare you," she bantered, still speaking with a smile. "Just for that, you'd better have a stunning new accessory for me when I get back!"

Shadow laughed, tickled by the serendipity that Rouge was unaware of. She thought she was being funny, but the jewel-loving spy had no idea that she was actually going to get her wish. When his laugh subsided, he opened his eyes and looked up at the clear sky.

He said thoughtfully, "I miss you."

He half-expected a witty quip to keep the joke going – something like, "After only one day? You must be obsessed!" – but Rouge's tone softened and she replied, "I miss you, too."

"How's the mission going?"

"It's okay. A bit boring. So far, we're just doing surveillance. But, on the up-side, I've been learning some interesting things about sea life since we picked up some books from this old laboratory nearby. What I found most fascinating was this section about one particular species; did you know there's such a thing as an immortal jellyfish?"

The Ultimate Lifeform's brows raised at the mention of immortality, and his smile slackened. "No, I didn't. That's curious."

"I almost found it unbelievable at first! But it's true, the little guys can reverse their life cycle if they want – or, something like that, I haven't gotten to finish reading it, yet."

"Wow... that must've been surprising to see." Shadow masked the unease that crept into his heart at the thought of a creature that could live forever. It was too similar to his own biology, and – uncomfortably – made him think about his long lifespan too much for his liking.

"Yeah," Rouge spoke, calm because she didn't know the introspection she'd just sparked, "I'm not usually into science, but that kind of stuff is cool. Plus, anything's better than listening to Topaz complain about the way I work."

"Ha, yeah... I bet." He took a breath as his lean turned into a slump. In his head, he was thinking, 'You might not consider it cool if you knew you were living with an immortal... and what that truly means.'

"Sooo," her voice dragged, "how are things on your end?"

"Well... up and down, I suppose." Shadow pushed off the wall and stepped forward to sit down on the concrete stoop. "The casino is doing well, although it was very crowded last night."

"Aw, sorry I couldn't be there, hun. Bane helped you hold things down though, right?"

"Yeah, we got through it..." One hand slinked across the back of his neck and he rubbed it in discomfort. He remembered his encounter with Knuckles again, and knew he couldn't put off telling her about it. "But we had an... unpleasant visitor last night."

"Oh no, who?"

Shadow sighed. "Knuckles."

There was silence on the other end for a few seconds, long enough for the dark hedgehog to get a sinking feeling in his stomach. Then his lover asked with a hint of disgust, "Why? What did he want?"

Shadow's answer escaped a growing sneer, "He was demanding to speak with you. Babbling about apologizing... after two fucking years."

His eyes rolled, black brows furrowing at the memory. Rouge's tone sounded softer when she spoke again. "Shadow... don't concern yourself with him. Especially if it's going to ruin your mood."

Fingers pinched the midsection of his closed eyes and he shook away the frustration. Then the bat added, "When I get back, we'll do something nice. A date night – how's that sound?"

Shadow nodded even though she couldn't see it. "I'd like that. Hopefully your mission doesn't run long."

"I'm crossing my fingers as we speak. Talk to you later?"

"Whenever you have time. You know I'll always answer."

"I won't make you wait if I can help it." The smile in her voice returned when she mimicked a kiss through the phone. "Love you!"

"Love you, too."

They hung up and Shadow felt troubled that he couldn't form a smile like Rouge could. There were two big problems hanging over him now; conflicts he wouldn't be able to shake through sheer force of will.

But, irritating as it was that his girlfriend's ex wanted back in her life, the other issue was even more daunting: the Ultimate Lifeform's immortality, which would pale her lifespan as the years went on, and – dreadfully possibly – her desire to stay with him, as well.

[thehellsaint]

Hi it’s -❤️ again

also known as -flower anon lol! (Me and flower are same same but different)

https://www.tumblr.com/justanothersyscourse/758260354341076992/oh-hi-its-flower-anon-i-mostly-was-sending-the?source=share

that’s me! Well us, anyway.

that was the worst response in the history of responses, my YouTube reporter senses are tingling so bad that I wrote a 2,000+ word reply that I am going to send in.

when you said they had onsion like tendencies I actually understand what you mean, but I’d say more of a dream or Mr beast like response.

very Mr beasty.

basically they said “you poor little cult survivor :( you know nothing and are overreacting to all the endo’s you poor baby”

I’m used to the deflections and strawmans but my god are they just the weirdest fucking strawmans!

Just, it’s such a weird obscurifcation of like information?

like yeah I wanted to be like comforted that “oh all the endo’s aren’t engaged in a cult like mentality” then presented their own biases as their own proof.

weird if you ask me, maybe it’s because I come hailing from YouTube and immigrated over to tumblr because it was becoming a shit show over there. But you can’t just ignore the social aspects of these communities and conversations.

life is a holistic approach, and well I like to hear about all parts of a discussion!

peer review is not just about scientists agreeing with each other, that’s stupid, peer review is the review of all people involved.

you can’t just say “oh black ppl are inferior bc different skull structure” and then get away with it, why? Because it hasn’t been peer reviewed by black people obviously, and also that is so wrong.

(Sorry for bringing up this example but it’s still a surprisingly common thing in scientific circles to be straight up racist. Peer review involves all parties involved smh the worst parts of science are where they just go do their own thing and don’t listen to the people they are studying.)

so for me, hailing from YouTube, we take a very holistic approach and view to discourse. We don’t just say “well this guy says we are all wrong” we go “well why the hell is this guy saying we are all wrong? It’s really sus they are saying that!”

and we think and we dissect! And usually we are right to call out the bullshit!

YouTube is very multifaceted when it comes to discourse you can’t just half ass it, people will literally take their time out of their day and correct you.

so idk, I actually hated that response. It was surprising awful and disgenuine, and pretty fucking insulting!

wow, just.

I’m going to send in my response that’s pretty cut throat as again, I hail from YouTube that sorta shit does not fly over there.

tumblr has a different style of addressing things but that’s not mine, I wish I was better at video editing because OOOO boy. 💯💯💯

thank you for being so supportive of us, sysmedsaresexist and justanothersyscourse do a very bad job of explaining the social and cultural impacts of these different communities and that is a horrible omission.

you make wonderful discussion and you deserve praise for it!

love you 🥰

-❤️

Yeah that sucked to read, their post is packed with all of the same patronizing language that put me off of them in the first place. Not to mention the pseudo-intellectualism and misrepresenting the scale, credibility, and scope of "doctors researching endos"

It's exhausting to watch every (pro)endo spread misinformation, harass disabled people, and literally groom people just to be told that being against that is basically the same thing.

Disabled people will never know peace unfortunately, even in spaces made exclusively by and for us. I'm glad my blog can be a place of discussion for us and other systems who need it.

[morningmask27]

Ivypool's heart rant under the cut lol

WHISTLEPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAW, my little Whis is important, WHISTLEPAW is a big part of the story (hopefully). Oh boy, I hope they won't do Whis too wrong with this book or I'll go fight the Erins myself.

this little scene was very funny to me. Whistlepaw is a shit fighter confirmed

we also get descriptions for the new children, FINALLY. Don't think anyone expected Branchkit to be fully white, but the Erins like being chaotic with their pelt colors, so whatevz. I've already played with fully white kits in this family, Branchkit is deaf now.

Anyways, I am pretty okay with Ivypool and Rootspring hanging out to mourn Bristlefrost. It's touching in a way that they bond over this shared grief (also impressed they mentioned Antpelt. They do remember things from time to time. Impressive)

The way they made Wrenflight have a crush on Rootspring does annoy me just a bit. Crush shenanigans will obviously annoy me personally more, but they truly couldn't find anything better to do and they had to make A Girl fall for Root? (Also I don't know my SkyClan family tree that well surprisingly enough, so I don't have the ability to immediately say if these two are closely related. It seems okay, but who knows). They also made her a

whoopsies </3

However I truly don't feel like Ivypool should be deputy at all in such a situation. It's stated multiple times that she hasn't done a good job at her tasks or even Be On Time and I do wonder why Squirrelstar never immediately choose Cinderheart to be her deputy (also girlpower <3). I am slightly aggravated with Ivypool's worries that she'd be replaced on the long term by Cinder, who in two phrases looks to be such a better deputy than Ivy, so that weird entitlement was a bit annoying tbh. Hope it gets addressed, but I assume it won't.

Fernsong is a nothing character and that doesn't change all that much. He's ~moved on~ with Bristlefrost's death and it does characterize him a bit, but goddamn I didn't know who I found more annoying when he and Ivy were talking. Thriftear and Flipclaw look like they'll be completely forgotten by the story after their one Obligatory Scene and it's a bit disappointing. Fernsong did mention multiple times specifically taking care of the kits, but in such vague terms that it just sounds stupid. Why are the Erins still so wishy-washy about having Fern live up to his earlier promise?

God, just get a divorce if you're not going to talk at this point. Wdym The Father of the kit you just lost doesn't understand the grief you're going through. Okay he's a cardboard made to feel whatever's necessary, but still, this is dumb

*chanting* divorce divorce divorce divorce

Anywaaaaaaays. Harestar gets one emergency gathering, as a treat <3

That was Whistlepaw's little sister, so obviously that would be traumatic (I will bite the Erins if they forget in the rest of the book) and

Whistlepaw does not like public speaking. Whis already had a same-ish reaction last time in Thunder when lying about Frostpaw's death, so this is a funky character trait.

Anyways, Whis <3 (they also don't let Whis finish explaining that damned dream. Constantly interrupting with useless comments. Goddamnit, you don't help a cat that doesn't like public speaking already by constantly speaking up and stopping the story)

And as I yelled in another post, Cloverfoot gets a few good lines here. Not a lot, but she's rational

Whistlepaw gets two free mom's

I find the group of cats so funny to. Ivypool, deputy of ThunderClan and hero of the dark forest, Dovewing, one of The Three super powered cats that saved the Clans, Rootspring, light in the mist, helped to defeat Ashfur and has sister powers, Icewing (joins a bit later), senior warrior of RiverClan, trained in the dark forest too and then there's Whistlepaw, apprentice with a dream. (This will make for a funny daily Whis drawing lol)

[greenerteacups]

Merry Swiftmas! I saw your note at the end of the most recent chapter. What are you Tortured Poet Department thoughts and feelings?

Literally just got back from a listening party so this is all coming in VERY fresh and unprocessed but first reactions:

The unfortunate exigencies of Industry Shit have kind of hurt Swift creatively because (1) she's been taught she can have her cake and eat it too with the Grammy-winning 15-track sonically cohesive tone album if she just drops it separately as the first act of a 30-song behemoth deluxe edition/multiverse of bonus tracks, and (2) the Vault Tracks have taught her that fans actually do want to hear every single thing she writes, even if she (rightly) might have thought it wasn't release-quality 5-10 years ago. Long story short there is a good album in here but it needs to be TIGHTLY pruned out because a lot of these songs are either underwritten or underdeveloped or both. She should've focused her energy on improving a smaller set (i.e. cleaning out some of the clunker lines, tightening melodies, giving each song its own identity) and cutting like, more or less the last third of the tracks. That being said! I did like a lot of it.

I also think some people fail to understand Swift is a pop artist making pop music. When we say she's a good lyricist, we don't mean she's fucking Samuel Coleridge, it means she uses the medium of a pop song successfully to communicate a mood or an emotional experience. Pop is vernacular; it's supposed to evoke the kind of language you hear every day. Not surprisingly, I find her at her best when she's not trying to affect some kind of heightened poetic mood. Songs like "Would've, Could've, Should've" straddle this line pretty well for me, because it's not affected, it's just... intelligently thought-through. It's a single metaphor, taken from multiple angles, explained well, and set to a great melody. It's not trying to impress you, but it still does. Anyway.

Miscellaneous/specific thoughts:

"Guilty as Sin?" is my favorite, it's going to be one of my most played songs of the year, both for reasons of Oh Shit It Me and because I'm just straight up in love with the sound of this motherfucker. No analysis it makes the happy juices in the brain go

Other favorites: So Long London, Fresh Out The Slammer, The Bolter, Daddy I Love Him

"thank you aimee" is a reprise of "Mean" addressed semi-obviously to Kim K/the Collective Nation of Haters of Taylor Swift, which was a weak diss track when it was a teenager singing it and has not improved in the mouth of a 30-something artist

"But Daddy I Love Him" is conversely a very successful ironic reprise of "Love Story," and I'm fond of it because it reads like a love letter to the girls who grew up on that song

Interesting strains of Reputation on "Little Old Me," I feel like there was an earlier draft of this song that went harder on the Bad Blood/Don't Blame Me vibe, but she's still scarred from the critical reaction to reputation and hasn't fully gone there since. Which is why someday I will throttle the Pitchfork editor with my bare hands

Florida!!! feels like it needed some more production besides Jack Antonoff sitting on the synths with a jackhammer but I do like it. The bridge/second half sounds a lot like a Bleachers song (compliment)

"So High School" was sweet and I was surprised by how much I liked that and "The Alchemy," both of which are fun but ultimately simple and sentimental — which is GOOD to be clear I don't go looking for Proust in my pop music, and simplicity can be a virtue

However, I scream-laughed in a full room when I heard the line "you can ball and I know Aristotle," and I look forward to thinking about it once a day for the next forever. Insane. So good. Also, like — Taylor, have you read the Politics? You are legally obligated to tell us now if you have read the Politics.

[smoments]

✧ part 6: memories of a stranger // a satosugu reincarnation au

chapter 6: the way it should have been

“It’s about this project that I’m technically supposed to be almost done with, right? But... I actually kind of procrastinated since usually inspiration eventually comes to me, and guess what…”

He grimaces at how weightless his words sound as Suguru admonishes him, his tone gentle.

“Satoru, you know that’s no good. You’ll get burned out if you always leave your work until the last minute.”

“Haha, right? But it’s fine now, because I can just ask you.”

Suguru blinks, and color rises to his face, his lips parting slightly. It’s the kind of thing Satoru would notice if he were looking directly at him - however, his inquisitive gaze is focused elsewhere, his eyes darting around the supposedly empty space. 

“…um, one second, I suddenly feel judged.”

He narrows his eyes, scoping out the park for the source of this unpleasant energy, and finally notices the little boy sitting on the swing set on the opposite end of the mulch. Apparently sensing someone's attention on him, the kid looks up from his open book and meets his eyes, and Satoru gets a good look at his face (one that probably isn’t necessary given how distinguishing his hair is; it’s all black and spiky, like a porcupine is on his head or something). Satoru lifts his hands into a high-five position to make creepy claw-like gestures with his fingers, as if trying to draw him in. 

“Woah, you’re that kid from before!“

“…”

“Are you a pedophile?”

Suguru chokes on air, and Satoru’s mouth drops open.

“Huh!?! How do you even- Wait, why just me? He’s here too!”

The child’s eyes flick between the two of them, and he gives Satoru a plain look that only fuels Suguru’s laughter. Satoru, who doesn't think he looks much like a pedophile at all, glares at him before pulling a face at the kid.

“Where’s your dad, anyway?”

He doesn’t mean it as a personal attack (he’s not that horrible of a person), but then he remembers his interaction with said father and reconsiders whether he might have been a little too on the mark.

“He isn’t here anymore.”

And though he’d been right, when he hears the finality with which the kid says these words, his mouth works faster than his brain.

“You kille-“

“Satoru!”

(Thankfully for him, Suguru is quicker than either one.)

The boy blinks at him like he’s stupid. 

“No, he left.”

“…Oh. That’s rough.”

“It’s really not. Did you see him?”

Satoru knows that his careless words probably aren’t a complete bluff, but it also kind of bothers him that this little kid has to talk about his dad being a scumbag with such a stony look in his eyes, as though he’s completely removed from the situation. 

And perhaps he reminds him a little bit of himself as a child; that flat stare and precocious way of speaking in particular (Shoko says he aged in reverse, since neither sound much like his current self). 

But only a little bit. 

Of course, he doesn’t voice any of this, because he doesn’t think it would translate over well into his general way of speaking. He goes for something a little less melodramatic. 

“So, how’s that… living situation, kid? Megumi, right?”

-

Satoru actually likes instant ramen, himself, but hearing Megumi tell them that it’s what he had been planning for dinner with his sister out for the evening paints such a depressing picture that he really has no other choice than to do something about it. 

Suguru seems slightly concerned, and he addresses his worries to Satoru in a low voice as they traverse a busy street with Megumi sandwiched between them. 

“Satoru, it might not be a good idea to encourage him to follow strangers.”

Satoru completely glosses over his hushed tone, responding loudly and self-assuredly. 

“Don’t worry, he’s old enough that he knows better. Plus, we’re not strangers! He’s met us before!” 

Satoru reaches down and ruffles Megumi’s hair quickly enough that he can’t jerk away, finding that it’s surprisingly soft despite appearances - though it also springs right back into place, which he finds so hilarious that he has to resist the urge to mess it up again.

Megumi needlessly smooths his head down with one hand, looking annoyed but remaining silent, and Suguru winks at him conspiratorially. 

“Smart kid. He’s taking us for food, after all.” 

Megumi glances up at Suguru, a smile playing on his lips. 

“Yeah.”

“Come on, you’re teaming up against me already?”

-

“Alright, kid, breasts or thighs? Satoru, stop laughing.” 

“I’m not!” 

“They also have wings… hmm. Do you like spicy food?”

Megumi shifts his face from Suguru to scrutinize the menu, his expression slightly less guarded.

“…I can eat spicy food.” He mumbles, looking away like he’s trying not to sound too proud of himself, and he looks so childlike in that moment, somehow- perhaps in that way that little kids do when they try to replicate adult mannerisms, but only succeed in emphasizing their naivety. This moment of innocence poses quite the contrast to his normal monotony - so much so that even Satoru stops snickering to listen. 

“Yeah?” Suguru grins at him. “Me too, man. Wanna order the family meal, then? As Satoru has established, he doesn’t care what we get as long as it comes with biscuits.” 

Satoru peers up at him through his dark sunglasses, his hands comfortably resting behind his head. 

“Dude, have you had KFC biscuits?” 

“Mm, they’re kind of dry.” 

“Well, more for me, then. Whaddya think, Megumi?” 

“…You can have them.” 

“Yes!” He cheers, laying on the enthusiasm thick for the sake of the kid’s entertainment, and Megumi covers his mouth with his arm to stifle what might have been a giggle. 

Satoru would be lying if he said it didn’t make his heart melt a little, even if he’s the one being laughed at - but Suguru is looking at him too, now, a crooked smile on his face, and he’s used to being the center of attention, but he feels suddenly embarrassed and announces that he’s going to go place the order. He notices his phone screen is lit up when he gets back to their table, and he slumps onto the seat as he checks it, throwing his arm over the back of the couch. 

“Oh, it’s Shoko.” 

His eyes widen as he scrolls through his new messages, and Suguru glances up, tilting his head curiously. 

“Mm… they’re leaving, and… sh- crap. I left my stuff there.” 

Megumi looks up from the menu, his tiny fingers curled around the edges of the booklet, which covers the lower half of his face completely. 

“I don’t care if you swear.” 

Satoru gasps, scandalized. 

“You shouldn’t even know that word!” 

“I’m seven, not a kid.” 

“Oh, good point. Anyways, apparently Nanami dropped it off at my dorm. How nice! And… that’s weird. He was curious about what it was inspired by? Since when is he that nosy?” 

“The one you had at lunch, with the betta fish? Hey, I was wondering that too.” 

“Suguru, there is no thought process in art. You simply create from your heart.” He pats himself on the chest proudly for coming up with such a beautiful line and then adjusts his sunglasses with two fingers, sliding them up to sit at the top of his head as he thinks back to the painting - how whenever he stared at it for a second too long, a vague sense of discomfort stirred in his chest.

Before either of them can speak, Megumi pipes up. 

“That’s our order number. That lady in the red shirt is calling it.” 

He raises an eyebrow at the little boy, slightly relieved at the change in conversation, and nods in understanding.

“Wanna come help us pick it up?”

Satoru’s appetite has somewhat diminished by the time that they've successfully set up and are surveying the steaming spread laid out in front of them, but he’s never been one to say no to KFC biscuits, so he picks one off the tray anyway, the wax paper underneath crinkling with the movement.

“Megumi, I thought you could eat spicy food?” He teases as he watches him tear up over the chicken. 

“I can. This isn’t even spicy. Tsumiki makes food way more spicy than this.” 

Megumi coughs lightly, taking a break from the main course to sip from his glass of ice water, and Satoru rests his chin in a hand, a smirk on his lips. His gaze drifts to Suguru, dipping a fry into his ketchup and laughing at Megumi’s barely contained struggling, and his own features curve into a silly grin. 

Maybe he could get used to this. 

Satoru thinks that their little dinner ends all too quickly. He’s eaten with friends before, of course - laughing across the table, snatching everyone else’s fries after he polished off his own before even unwrapping his sandwich, and lounging around waiting for Nanami to finish his food long after the rest of them were done - but this is different. It’s quieter, and he’s never been one for quiet, but there’s this strange feeling of contentedness that surfaces in him every time he steals a glance at either of the two across from him. 

Megumi has clearly taken a liking to Suguru, who turns out to be unsurprisingly skilled with children; charm comes easily to him, as Satoru knows all too well. Even when his smile makes that occasional shift from soft to vaguely nihilistic, he can’t take his eyes off of him, so it’s no surprise he’s able to pull everything off so well. Suguru has a way of speaking and carrying himself that makes him seem so open and dependable- though Satoru’s not sure whether he even realizes this himself and purposefully projects such energy, or if it’s just the way he is. 

Either way, he thoroughly enjoys the hour they spend in that restaurant. He nibbles at his biscuit and sets the chicken (he can’t handle spice at all, but he doesn’t tell Megumi this) down between bites like he’s savoring the taste, but really he’s just grasping for excuses to stay there a little longer. 

And Suguru humors him. 

Megumi doesn’t seem to mind either; it’s a gradual shift over the course of their meal, but he goes from entirely closed off to almost talkative, in his own unique way; rather than asking incessant questions the way Satoru would expect a kid his age to, he offers his completely blunt and often unnervingly precocious opinions on each topic of discussion. His ability to warm up to strangers so quickly should probably be rather concerning to Satoru, but he finds it endearing more than anything. 

Even as they stand outside the KFC with one of Megumi’s hands in each of theirs and discuss their next move, Satoru has to resist the urge to request a little more time with Suguru, a second more in his presence; ‘you don’t even have to talk to me, Suguru- if we’re just in the same room, that’s okay too- or if you want me to wait outside while you do what you need to do, I don’t mind that either-’ but the last shred of his self-respect keeps his lips pressed together, and he nods along to the other's words (which seem needlessly thorough given the weightlessness of the situation). 

“Sorry about this, I have to cover someone’s shift on short notice. You sure you’re okay taking him home?”

“Yeah, yeah, don’t worry about it.” Satoru agrees before actually processing the request, but nothing about his plan of action changes once he understands what’s being asked of him. 

It’s just that he needed a little more time to prepare himself for Suguru being gone- and as he watches him bending down to say goodbye to Megumi, his strong fingers grazing the top of the boy’s head, Satoru realizes they’ve never actually touched. 

It shouldn’t matter to him. He shouldn’t want to know what Suguru’s hands might feel like. And he doesn’t.

His eyes don’t linger on that hand as Suguru rises to his full height again, just an inch or two shorter than Satoru himself. 

He doesn’t part his lips in preparation to speak. He doesn’t want to tell him to stop, to wait.

He doesn’t just barely keep from reaching out for him as their eyes finally meet and that knee-weakening smile graces his lips, and he doesn’t have to force himself to respond appropriately.

Satoru lifts a hand in goodbye. He wills it not to tremble. 

And as Suguru turns away, everything around him blurs, panic rising in his chest.

He’s left like this before. 

He’s left him like this before, alone in the thick of a crowded street, permanently frozen in time. Permanently frozen in a state of mourning. He remembers the way passersby ignored him, kept a few feet of distance as they wended their way around his quivering form - like his heartbreak would rub off on them if they got too close. He hadn’t realized, then, that they had lives of their own; lives that they would continue living as though Satoru’s hadn’t just ended.

As though half of his very soul hadn’t just walked away from him without a single moment of hesitation, taking all of his better qualities along with him. 

Something in him died that day, something that no amount of stupid jokes or other people or power could ever begin to repair. Even if there was something that could soothe the ache, even just for a second, he wouldn’t let it. To do so would be a betrayal. 

He wanted to feel the sting. He wanted it to hurt. Why shouldn’t he be devastated? His best friend was gone, and he wasn’t even dead- he’d made the decision to leave Satoru all on his own. How could anyone expect him to be okay ever again? 

Sometimes, he thought it didn’t hurt nearly enough. He’d curl up on the floor of Suguru’s dorm and stare dully at their pictures - tacked to the bulletin board on the wall - and replay those short moments, their one-sidedly heated argument, over and over like a record on loop until eventually and without fail, the sight of Suguru’s still, smiling face in those photos and the smell of his clothes and the memory of that day coerced the tears from his eyes. 

It felt fake somehow, how far he would go to feel the pain - to remind himself that his right to happiness had left with Suguru.

He never looked back when he left. Not once. He's not the type to do something like that and then change his mind, because he's too thoughtful, too well rooted in his ways - Satoru knows that. It's something he always loved about him.

But this one time - just this once - he wanted to get on his knees and beg him to throw away his values, to come back to him, to forget everything else.

Because what could possibly be worth this? 

He doesn’t look back now either, and suddenly, Satoru feels like he’s sinking under the weight of this memory, this parallel, confusion and distress surging through him. It’s just like before- it’s just like the last time- he’s going to leave him, again, and-

“Gojo, you’re squeezing my hand too tight.”

He snaps out of his stupor and stares down at Megumi, his eyes wide and vulnerable, and then quickly steps back, flexing his fingers loosely to shake them of their sudden stiffness. 

“Oh… Sorry,” he forces, and Megumi tilts his head at him inquisitively. 

 “Are you going to take me home? I can go by myself.” 

“What? No, then it’ll be my fault if you get kidnapped.”

“But Tsumiki might think you’re kidnapping me and then she’ll hit you with a frying pan.” 

“Well, if Suguru finds out I let a seven-year-old go home by himself at night, he’ll do a lot worse to me than that.” 

“No, he won’t. He likes you.” Megumi’s matter-of-fact tone catches him off guard at the wrong time, and he fights to keep his composure as he flashes him a grin and a thumbs up. 

“Of course he does! Everybody loves me. Now, what’s your address again?” 

-

When Satoru returns to his dorm, thankfully without any frying pan-related injuries, the first thing he notices is that his forgotten items have been placed neatly on his bed, side by side. The painting jumps out at him once again, and he breathes out a sigh, flipping it over with one hand so he doesn't have to look at it anymore before sprawling out against his white sheets. 

“This is so..” 

Something occurs to him, and he sits up, turning the canvas over once more to examine it carefully.

It is just as he thought.

He'd worried he was crazy, in all honesty, because nobody else had seen anything wrong with it. Not Shoko, not Nanami, not Suguru - but Satoru had been right to trust his instincts.  

The fish swimming towards each other is not at all an issue - rather, it’s the realization that they’re doing so in a circle that knocks the air from Satoru’s lungs. 

He's reminded of the nature of parallel lines when he stares down at the canvas, in the way that two separate objects can continue on forever without crossing paths. He thinks that this is sadder, though - because the fish are so clearly trying to find each other, so obviously chasing each others' tails. And as his eyes follow the circular ripple of water that he so painstakingly painted out, he realizes that he has trapped them inside it.

He has resigned them to a fate of eternal movement - one in which they will always be just shy of touching; just shy of coming face to face. 

[theshippirate22]

“She’s handling all this surprisingly well,” Eliza said suddenly.

Taylor didn't answer for a moment. The pair of them stood there, just around the corner from the doorway, listening to whatever chaos ensued inside the kitchen. Hunter did something that elicited a clatter and Lyn cried "ASSHOLE!" before he erupted into laughter.

"She is," Taylor said finally.

"Have you talked to KJ?"

"She says she's fine. About the whole thing. Hasn't said anything to imply otherwise."

Eliza chuckled. "You don't believe it."

"Not even a little."

They exchanged worried smirks.

"You... you don't think she's going to do something stupid, do you?"

Eliza toed at a crack in the hardwood floor. "What, like, yell 'I object' during the vows or something? Nah, she'd get so nervous she'd vomit everywhere."

Taylor laughed softly. "You're right."

"Besides, it's Lyn. You know how she is. What does she always say?"

They mimicked her in sync "I'll just suffer."

"And she will," Eliza mumbled. "She'll just suffer through the whole thing and won't say a word."

"Maybe we can smack some sense into her. God, why does she do it?"

Eliza gave her a sort of look. Don't make me say it.

"Is something wrong?"

Both Taylor and Eliza turned as Lydia came around the corner. The former looked like they'd gotten caught doing something they shouldn't have, but Eliza knew better. "Just talking about Lyn."

Lydia clearly didn't know what to take from this, so Eliza pressed on, "We thought she'd have a harder time with the wedding and everything."

"How come?" Lydia, bless her heart, look genuinely concerned.

Taylor grasped for something to say but Eliza just laughed. "I guess there's no harm telling you. Everyone knows anyway. She used to be in love with Hunter. For years and years."

Lydia digested that and then nodded calmly. "That... explains a lot."

"You don't need to worry!" Taylor cried. "She's not going to, like... make a pass at him or anything!"

Lydia startled as if the thought had never occurred to her, and then she smiled peculiarly. "Oh, Lyn is my girl. I trust her. And even if I didn't, I trust Hunter. It'd be silly if I went around paranoid every time he talked to another girl."

Taylor was not expecting that sort of reaction at all, mostly because it never would've been her first response, and whatever respect she already had for Lydia tripled in that moment. "God, you're so cool."

Lydia tipped her head and smiled that odd, bemused smile and went around into the kitchen.

"Oh, thank God!" Lyn said. "You can help us settle this. You know that song by The Police about the teacher that wants to-"

Immediately, Lydia started singing, "Don't stand so- don't stand so close to me!" and Lyn cheered.

"I told you! I told you it was a thing! He doesn't know that song! Tell him!"

"Aw, baby," Lydia rolled her eyes. "Your consistent lack of any sort of pop culture knowledge astounds me."

"There's nothing pop culture about that!" Hunter squawked. "That song is like, what? FORTY YEARS OLD?! And also totally random?!"

"You should know it!"

"You should," Lydia agreed, pulling his face over for a kiss.

"You know, it’s your job to educate him now. I mean, he can just ignore me but you’ll be his WIFE! He has to listen to you.”

“Oh, don’t worry. I’m gonna make him watch so many movies and listen to so many songs. I’ll make a millennial out of him yet.”

“I thought I was making you an honest woman.” He cocked an eyebrow and pulled her in by the waist.

“Secondary of course to your own culturing.”

Lyn laughed, high-fiving Lydia before catching sight of Taylor and Eliza in the doorway, and waving vaguely as she crossed toward them. “Do you guys want to go get lunch?”

It was completely nonchalant. Normal. Taylor and Eliza shared a look.

“Yeah,” Eliza said finally, grinning. “Let’s go.”

“Yeah, so if you send me the address for that, I can go grab those,” Lyn offered, scribbling something on a sticky note with a pen she'd accidentally snagged from Willablues.

"Are you sure? You're so sweet to help."

"Oh yeah," she waved it off. "I'll be up there anyway."

Lydia finished her own list, looking over the laundry list of things that still needed to be done in the following months. The words sort of swam, in the way that your brain looks over them again and again and yet nothing comes of it, no conscious thought occurs.

"Hey, Lyn?"

"Yeah?"

"I want to apologize."

Lyn looked off to the side in confusion, breaking a fourth wall that wasn't there to begin with. "What for?"

"Eliza... she... she told me you used to have a thing for Hunter. I just... If I had known that when I came back, I wouldn't have tried to get with him. I totally broke girl code. I'm so sorry."

Lyn stood there with her jaw dropped stupidly for a second before everything registered. "Oh. Oh. Oh, don't be silly! You had no idea, and, I mean, nothing was gonna happen between us anyway, and you two, I mean, you two were made for each other."

"No, don't be consoling," Lydia insisted. "I feel terrible."

"Really, don't." Lyn had a genuine smile. "It was pretty hopeless and pathetic anyway. Ben is much better suited to me."

"Really? We're good?"

"Oh, yeah. Totally good."

Lydia beamed, mirroring the innocence and authenticity of whatever sisterhood transpired between them and Lyn returned it.

It's the sound of the shower that gets to her.

She wasn't even sure where she was before that moment, when the stream of the shower gets caught in her ear and suddenly there's wobbly, echoey taints to her ragged sobs, but it all came back quickly.

Her blunt fingernails dug at her scalp and pulled her face down closer to her knees and she's...

She's fucking miserable.

The hot water wasn't hot enough, didn't hurt enough. Her thighs were buzzing with anxiety, skin crawling against bone and ceramic, and she's got the feeling deep her stomach, that acid boiling hot and heavy and she wishes it sat just a bit higher so she could find the reaction to wretch.

It was the ugly, wet sort of cry, with snot and red eyes and heaving, steaming lungs. The kind where Lyn clawed at her own skin and howled Hunter's name like he was some god that had forsaken her. What else was she supposed to do?

The shower wasn't a comfort. The consistency, the warmth, oh no. It was a factor, a tragic addition to an already beyond-fucked situation. A physical manifestation of whatever disaster Lyn was becoming in the tub, with lukewarm water pooling at her ankles, haunting her, hating her.

And when there wasn't a bit of it left in her, when she had bled herself dry of any semblance of human emotion, she washed the conditioner from her hair, stood up, shut off the water, and dried off. Wiped the tears lines that had eroded chasms into her face and brushed back the wet hair she'd nearly torn from its roots. Heaved up the rest of the feeling her stomach held.

"Are you okay?" Ben's voice was full of real concern, real affection.

"I think it's PMS," Lyn answered hollowly, echoing the humanity in his demeanor.

There may have been more said, but Lyn heard "Let me hold you," and that was all that she comprehended. So, she buried in against Ben's chest and his soft whispers, and thought of nothing, because anything would be about Hunter, and she couldn't.

She couldn't.

She'd just suffer.