#anyway yeah. jesus. fucking banger man

[unknownarmageddon]

cross stood a bit awkwardly, his brow furrowed as he stared at this mess of... things before him.

killer's goofy grin wavered just the slightest, and there was barely visible dip in his arm before he collected himself again.

"tadaa," he repeated, just as cheerful as the first time.

cross glanced at the little box in his hand, and glanced away nervously. "uhm."

killer's left eye scrunched a bit, confusion on his face as he lowered the small wooden box he was trying to give cross, "what's wrong?"

cross was looking everywhere but killer, his eyes focused on a nearby broken window, and he gripped his arm, frowning. he couldn't tell if this was one of killer's skits or not. the way it looked was striking cross oddly, and he didn't quite know what to do.

killer was kneeling, holding up a little box, and their campsite was set up vastly different than normal. it looked like... some kind of set up for something important, but he didn't know which option was the right one, or one he was okay with.

"...what's all this about," cross finally asked, and killer's head tilted, his grin going lopsided, one side ticking downwards at cross's less-than-enthused response.

"i dunno, i thought it'd be a nice surprise?"

"what kind of surprise," cross said back, a bit more sharply than he'd intended. it wasn't that he hated how much it looked like killer was proposing, no, perhaps if it were.. in a different time, he'd be less... averse.

"huh?" killer glanced back at the neat, comfortably made spot he'd set up in the backseat of a car, and then at the box and back at cross before his eyes widened and he started shaking his head, "wait- oh-- wait, no, shit okay-"

he stood up, dropping the box and reaching for cross, who took a half step back, his eyes narrowed, and killer let him go, his fingers curling in the air before he pulled his hand back and clasped them together, pressing his knuckles to his teeth as he hissed quietly, his brow furrowed.

cross crossed his arms, and frowned at the floor, not sure why he was reacting this way to the concept, the implications. killer let his hands fall as he started, "i wasn't-- i know what it looked like, but it wasn't-- i wouldn't. or i? w-would, but-"

killer looked increasingly embarrassed, or stressed?? as he fumbled with his words before finally blurting out, "valentines!"

cross blinked, and echoed, "valentines???"

killer slumped a bit, and groaned quietly, rubbing at his neck with a slightly pained expression, and he leaned down, picking up the little box and cracking it open, presenting it to cross.

rather than a ring, it was a little carving. the stray thought crossed his mind that killer was getting ridiculously good at carving. it was a small cat with an even smaller heart in it's tiny paws, as if it were playing with it.

cross's tense shoulders eased, his expression softening, and he reached forward to run a finger over the little carving, his eyelights trailing upwards to killer's crooked grin.

he looked apologetic, but sincere, hopeful even, and cross sighed as he shook his head, taking the little box and shutting it, setting it in his pocket as he muttered, "you fucking idiot."

killer's expression brightened, and he lit up, "do you like it?"

cross snorted, and pressed into killer's space, nosing his way into the warm space between killer's neck and his messy jacket fur, sighing as he embraced his stupid stupid companion.

"how did you even know if it was valentines or not?"

killer's arms slid around him, returning the hug tightly. cross could feel the chuckle in killer's chest, the echo of relieved joy cast from killer's soul, the organ hovering safely within cross's ribcage.

"i didn't. but, i figured, we should have one still. for, uh. for old timess sake."

cross squeezed him tighter to himself, and hummed. old times sake.

"...were you really that-"

"no."

"if-"

"yes."

killer's hold tightened, and cross could hear the smile on his voice. "where'd you wanna go, for the honeymoon?"

cross snorted and leaned back, knocking his forehead against killer's as he murmured, "i hear the backseat of cars are popular these days."

killer let out a delighted bubble of laughter, cackling and giggling even as cross nosed his way back to the crook of killer's neck to plant an affectionate kiss to his neck.

-p :]

if it were a different time, a different world, it would be someplace in the mountains.

AUGHHHHH????? AUGH??? AUGH. WAILING

[bobzora]

more reload thoughts, this time on the characters, heavy spoilers under cut (for p3 content, and also spoilers on some of the new stuff!!)

akihiko and mitsuru got arena era characterization blasted it's actually really sad he is not protein. she is not a helicopter mom. they are equals and friends who respect each other. please get the memo. most of the others' characterization seemed fine but man they got the worst of it

it's really funny that akihiko has gone from best to worst party member. i'm thankful to be free from the shackles that forced me to use him. i beat nyx with junpei aigis yukari. ken and yukari i swapped between for other fights.

yukari is one of my favorites. and she still is. i'm kind of bummed they made her nicer though

this is my first time actually saving chidori. ok time to mention junpei's new english va did a banger job. most of the cast in general killed it. shoutout to yuko (strength sl) ? for an unexpected banger of a natural sounding voice? anyway junpei's second theurgy. goes hard.

i still dont care about koromaru nothing could make me care about koromaru he's cute. i guess. lol. i like that you can pet him.

i love you aigis! there's nothing notably new for me to say about her but i lvoe her i love her i love her. she matters so much if you even care. crazy how i actually used orgia mode in reload

KEN AMADAAAA. ken. ken. ken. ok FIRST of all he's usable now! yay! i love having non-instakill light and dark skills. SECOND of all oh my god the first couple ranks of his not-SL drove me crazy. i went Uh. Uh. Um. it's like awww he likes featherman :) oh. yeah. this ten year old is actively planning a murder-suicide. he wants you to look after his hamster named hamburger if (when) something happens to him. i have such a big soft spot for ken he is my favorite child soldier. jesus christ. slightly sad that they removed some relevant dorm dialogue. i dont have the fes screenshots on me those are on my old laptop. but trust that they are missed.

i'm not a true shinji-er, frankly i mostly care about him (and akihiko) just through his relationship with local justice kid ken. it was nice hanging out with him though...jumpscared by his smile. his last hangout event (the post-mortem one) was good. oh yeah he's such a strong battler i wish i could keep him around. his theurgy is over the top with the bloody tear but i love that lol.

ryoji mochizuki voice "I know I said I wanted us to be friends, but... I actually want to be something more."

not being able to say "same":

they actually fucking did it. dude. they actually fucking did it. throughout the hangout i was like okay which 5 royal writer was working on this because this is some pretty good bait. and as it progressed i was like there's no way they're actually going for it, right? man they went for it. ryoji makes good on his word that he would love mc whether girl or boy. love wins. or loses i guess. good fucking content. movie ryomina is still on top but well that is the movies and this is video game. and this is the first time minato and ryoji can actually hang out in a video game. i love you bisexuality

i prefer "that was my name for a time. i didn't mind it." over the version in reload but man that's just me being attached to lines lol. also nyx (avatar) gets he/him-ed. shoutout detransitioned ryoji ( :( )

i wish i could put aigis in a butler outfit.

i miss femc.

[cathymee]

Kakegurui chapter! (Ye, El Fili chapter 11)

I love how Padre irene is just... smiling

Camorra losing like a kid LOL (Padre Irene still smiling... creepy)

Diamonds and "values"? BET

Oh my goodness SIMOUN, OF ALL PEOPLE

Part 2 later

aaaaa sorry this had sat too long on my inbox my friend!! i haven't been doing well for the past few weeks BUT i have also gathered enough brain cells to reread some of el fili to familiarize myself again with the events as i've told last time - it has been a while but here i am still ready to beat the shit out of simoun-

everyone in this chapter is very strangle-material ^^ these bitches do nothing but sip tea, gossip and lie to each other's faces. it's incredible. in wednesdays they wear pink

and i love how their personalities shine through in this scene of them playing cards alone lmao - padre irene with his goody-two shoes act, padre sibyla generally not giving a shit, padre camorra (ew) being a goofster (albeit unintentionally this time) and the general being such a doormat (and his poor secretary who just wants to do his job)

AND YEAH LMAO need camorra to play the rampant online combat games we have now can you imagine the way he'd shit talk his enemies

gaah simoun's propositions…ngl kinda chilling! padre sibyla about to drop banger lines and this man's just like "ok if i win u'd say dumb shit that would go against what your religion literally stands for just to further demonstrate the power you all hold against these people under you rule" and THEN "i'd also get to commit literal violations of human rights. as a little treat for myself. :)" like bro???? chill man jesus

and the thing with him being like "we are also tulisans but we're not declaring ourselves to be; that's why these people won't rebel against us" fucks. so hard. and tbh fits so well with our administration rn lmfao because who are they even fooling. literally we're being robbed of our resources but the people that have been blinded by their propaganda wouldn't believe them to be doing anything heinous as long as they're spouting their 'bagong Pilipinas' bullshit. absolutely wild that even these little details can still be paralleled to the happenings of today

AAAA ANYWAY going over to part 2 now!!

[tsuki-sennin]

Monda more like Mondamn.

That's it, that's all I got, it's too cold to be witty. Hirogaru Sky Episode 43!

Spoilers, I guess...

-Man... coming right out the gate, huh Mashiron?

-Then, Little Leaf...

-Stuck on the ending, eh?

-"Don't forget to actually submit it~! ...It can mean a world of difference..."

-"EYAAAAAAAAAAH-ayo, Mashiro-san~!"

-Oh, Monda... you've really gone off the deep end now.

-"Call your friends, I dare you! This stupid pen of yours'll draw a pretty landscape all over the pavement~!"

-.

-Bruuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhh HOLY SHIT

-THAT IS SO SAD, WHAT THE HELL

-Mashiron, you are far too kind.

-Ironic that such honesty hurts as much as any lie he could come up with.

-Skearhead-sama!

-"This is your last chance.

-"Eat it and die fighting the Pretty Cure, or die like the vermin you are."

-I see Empress Underg follows the Mad King Ashnard school of Social Darwinist thinking.

-The little leaf is just as much a story of Mashiro's insecurity as it is a depiction of nature.

-Mashiron...

-Let's fuckin' go.

-Jesus Christ, Skearhead

-That is one big bug.

-GET HIS ASS

-"Here :3"

-Ready, Go~!

-Damn, opening with the paint!

-Always a great time whenever we go hand to hand with a general.

-...well, in a meta sense at least.

-"You can shove your armchair evolutionary analysis up your ass!"

-Shiny~!

-Good morning, Monda. Time to get exorcised~!

-We did it~!

-"You guys... you're all fantastic human beings, huh?"

-"Yeah, sure, just like... maybe stop with the whole lying and cheating thing, yeah?"

-:)

-To the soaring world~!

-Damn, man

-I'm not surprised, but this slapped. Mashiron gets banger episodes, and this is just a perfect culmination of all her character arc. The genuinely charming Little Leaf story, her breaking down crying in Sora's arms, the way she bounces back even after that genuinely brutal reveal, her sticking it to Skearhead, come ON, man!

-Anyway yeah, good episode, what's coming up next time?

-OH FUCK THERE SHE IS

-WAIT WHAT

-OH MY GOD, THE BABY BECAME TALL

[thedeadpolyphonic]

an unreasonable gush post for fictional band, infant sorrow.

infant sorrow is without a doubt one of the greatest musical moments in all of history, fictional or not. if 'coming up' doesn't legitimately inspire you, you're lying. if 'inside you' isn't your wedding song, you're lame.

so let's get into what makes this amazing musical experience what it is. let's talk russel brand/aldous snow. the man is a BRILLIANT creator of literally all things. he's an intellectual mind with a spiritual soul and a comedic outlook on life. his comedy is always quick witted and deliberate. this plays a role in the music of Infant Sorrow. now, let's get into the actual music. we'll start with the ONLY song i DON'T like, just to get it out of the way:

'furry walls.' i feel like this song was thrown together quickly as a lubricant for a scene in the film. this song is not canon part of the discography for me. period.

moving on. let's get into my FAVORITES:

'yeah yeah oi oi' --this is really a britpop masterpiece. it's fun, it's catchy, it's witty, and it just makes you fucking smile. the lyrics are so sharp but sweet and hilarious. case in point: "yeah yeah, oi oi, put your hand up for sex, for me and me helmet and wherever it winds up next" sweet and cute, but then "put your hands up for our queen, for shagging five birds in the back of limosine" dirty and delightful. and the bridge? beautiful. i could go on and on about this song, but we've got more to get to, so.. YEAH YEAH, OI OI, put your dominant hand....on the mouse to scroll to the next paragraph.

'i am jesus' --this song is CRIMINALLY underrated (within the 'infant sorrow' universe and within the real life universe). let's take a little look at the lyrics. "i am jesus, welcome to the church of me" a fantastic start. polarizing to some, DELIGHTFUL to intellectuals. "i've come to feed the fish, heal the world, but first a dirty little kiss" FLAWLESS. "i wear a thorny crown, i live in Honeytown" ;;it's always bordering on sacreligious but in a way that is instantly forgivable because it's so stinking CAMP. "i am mahatma, taking it to the streets, give me your daughter, let me rub your dirty feet." hilarious because in the bible, men literally would give away or sell their daughters. fun little dig at the ridiculousness of biblical religion. and as for rubbing dirty feet, i'm a foot lover myself. so i always appreciate a reference to the love of feet, especially dirty ones. there's actually the most romantic story in the bible where mary magdalane is so in love with jesus, but she doesn't know how to show it the right way 'cause he's literally fucking JESUS, so she shows her love by washing his feet with her HAIR. anyway. that turned into a weird tangent, but it seemed necessary. well, MOVING ON then...

let's get into one of the absolute BANGERSest bangers: 'bangers, beans, & mash' --this song .... is golden. "a suicide in SoHo grand, my wrists so tired from working with my hands..." now this is a BAR and a half. period. this song is honestly filled with so much real emotion and honest feeling. and the musicality is beautiful. "why has the world gone so still? the world is so still, i feel that my next meal might be my last...so will you come for my bangers....my beans and mash?" i mean you can FEEL emotion from this. it's an honest diary put into music form with a catchy brit-centric title and chorus. brilliant. the only word that describes this is BRILLIANT. i feel like i don't even need to go more in depth into this song, as it's the most well known from the film, and everyone loves it and knows it. if you know you know.

let's get into an underground hit, 'just say yes' --a double entendre beauty of a song. if the beatles had a better sense of humor, they would have written this song. "mother mary, marijuana, uncle charlie, top banana" alone is beatles-esque in nature. but this whole song is a convoluted love letter, and everything brit-punk, brit-pop is about honestly. his love is an addiction. and he's a drug dealer in love. when he says "snort me chase me swallow me whole, or take me up your arse if that's the way you wanna go" i felt that. lovely for love and still witty and hilarious.

let's get into the least favorite (canonically from the film's inhabitants) 'african child' --i fucking love this song. deadass. it is SO FUCKING HILARIOUS. disrespectful, condescending, ignorant, and incredibly self-aware. russel brand is such a master at this kind of humor. he truly captures the "#activism" of celebrity culture. it's fucking CHOICE. period. "i have crossed the mystic desert to snap pictures of the poor; i've invited them to bruch, let em crash out on my flooooor" i mean FUCKING HELL that's great. so out of touch and ridiculous. it's just...and i use the damn word again...BRILLIANT. but i think one of the best touches is that he's actually doing a Swahili chant. he took the time and effort (in the film's universe) to gather the language and memorize and learn, but not to actually learn anything about the culture or educate himself. fucking amazing. let's move on, GOD THIS POST IS LONG.

'coming up' --the magnum fucking opus. this song is probably such an honest piece from Russel himself (as well as aldous in the film). the parallels between russel and aldous are almost innumerable (which is why his films are so funny ;;because he's not playing a character, he's just exaggerating himself if even exaggerating. the lyrics are inspirational, it captures the vibe of a true power ballad. it's just MINT. in every possible way. when you've run out of drugs and you're going through it, it's called "coming down." this song, 'coming up' is the absolute opposite. done with the drugs, done with the misfortune, done with self-denial and pain and struggle and sadness. he's coming up instead of coming down. it's a beautiful word choice honestly. plus, "and for twenty bucks in the alley i'm going down, down, down" is a hilarious line. xD and the honesty and pain in "for the ma who always honored me i'm going down, down, down ;;for my pa who never wanted me can you hear what's going on? i'm coming UPPPPPPPPPP" honestly enough to make my chemically imbalanced ass actually cry.

and obviously, 'the clap' --an absolute banger. brit-pop royalty. it's catchy, it's fun, it's just subversive enough. it's a great addition to the film's universe. and it symbolized a special moment for aldous in the movie where he started to remember who he used to be and really kicked off his journey to self-realization.

oh shit! and 'searching for a father' --this one slaps and HURTS. for all of us with daddy issues....well, this song just works.

now onto some honorable mentions featuring the brilliant jackie q. because if 'ring round' isn't on your playlist, you're not getting my aux cord.

Jackie Q

'Supertight'

'You got to me Warm and you're tight I'm going to fuck you so deep I'll give you a lobotomy I'm a zombie You dug me from my grave You took me from Africa And made me your slave"

if these lyrics don't jostle your jimmy you're a dummy. this shit is hilarious, and so smartly worded for a song so debaucherous. "i'm gonna get precarious, i'm a motherfucking stratavarious" i mean...that's literally incredible. this song is a 10/10 would recommend.

'ring round' --needs no explanation. song about a tight butt hole. it's fucking perfect. pop perfection.

OH MY GOD AND I FORGOT 'LITTLE BIRD' i'm already done with this post but i'll be damned if i don't mention this one. it's literally beautiful with moments of comedy and silliness.

also 'riding daphne' is a fucking SMASH HIT.

and i can't believe i didn't do a paragraph on 'inside you' argh. but i love it ;;it's beautiful and remember "there's so much more than just a screw inside of you"

so anyway, this post is long as actual shit. i could do a whole 'nother freakout just about the movies 'Forgetting Sarah Marshall' and 'Get Him to the Greek' but for now i'll leave it at the music. as far as i'm concerned, Infant Sorrow, is a REAL band, Aldous Snow is a real musician, and this is a perfectly legitimate fangirl moment.

[swedisheek]

ROSS’S TRACK BY TRACK ICIMI LIVEBLOG PART I

-fucking love tomcat disposables it’s so lovely and sad. ‘and as i lay down to sleep/i expect no dreams/no sweet goodbye to me’ AUGH YEAH everything you’ve ever wanted is right in front of you and you still feel like you haven’t changed a thing and you’re still getting older and you’re still dying. i think me and mr wood are made of the same sad essence. the fucking falsettos in this song also. so so good. alright next song

-oh jesus this is seven minutes long ok. banger lyrics so far though!! guessing this is about trying to retain individuality and your own identity while also conforming to traditional culture. OH WAIT THIS IS THE JUST LIKE MY PARENTS SONG OH MY GOD!! when he played this song on stream i almost cried lol. this shit is so sweet though,, domesticity and figuring out how to have your own life while trying to emulate the best of your parent’s lives,,, ‘i’d like to have a last love’,,,, will i be euthanized if i call him endearing. the Unsureness of it all but wanting to be sure and be forever and just sit on the fucking porch and watch the fucking sunset. god. ok next song

-CICADA DAYS BELOVED!!! such a big fan of this one i play it on uke all the time. this was the first song i heard him play on a stream when i was first really getting into him like a year ago. again the FALSETTOS!! and just his voice generally im so in love with how he sounds. it’s so like. fluid? like it goes from soft to high to screamy to low again so nicely. OH THE ECHO EFFECT AT THE END I LOVE THAT!! god this man. next song let’s go!

-oh man euthanasia :(( my happiness is immediately gone. again very very pretty though i love the building piano in the background. the fucking choral vocals at the end oh my GOD. and the knowing that there’s no afterlife but imagining you’ll see them again anyway. AND THE PUT TO SLEEP/MEET YOU IN MY DREAMS THING AT THE END FUCK. FUCK!!! okay next one lol

-oh yo falling up!! i heard this one live too :] it sounds super cool fully produced! really not sure what the hell this one’s about but probably coming to terms with your lack of control in life? yeah that sounds right. not like instantly adoring this like i did with the others but it’s genuinely a very nice song. alrighty next song!

-i recognize this one too!! another really cool one where i have no clue what’s going on with it story or concept wise. seems to be kind of about coming to terms with growing up in an environment where you don’t feel heard or safe to be yourself and now that you’re older you can’t see a way to right any of those wrongs. what’s with all these choral vocals in this album though lol i like them but they’re kinda unexpected. very sweet sounding and i’ll probably be relistening to this once im done with the album :]

gonna go eat now will return shortly and update this post with part ii

[arguablysomaya]

give batfam fic recs pls i beg

welp you asked for it so more underrated batfam fanfics >:)

The Jason Protocol by @salparadiselost

Jason has been gone for 3 months and the grim reality of the situation is sinking in. Even Dick can't help but think that his little brother might be dead again.

But then, Dick receives a text.

this one is stupidly fluffy and great hurt/comfort and i think the dynamics and dick’s voice in particular are just really sweet

Escape From the Pit Of Doom or Whatever by @MishaBerry 

Tim and Damian get captured on a mission and have to escape. You know, typical Wednesday.

what could say family bonding quite like being held over boiling acid by your little brother’s ecoterrorist grandad??? nothing, thats what

city with no children by @takemetothe-river

Dick catches Jason just as he finishes patrol. One minute he's alone, standing on the rooftop taking inventory of his gear, and the next he's not. A familiar blue silhouette swings up and over the edge of the building and lands neatly beside him. “I brought you a plant. For your new apartment.” The lack of preamble in this family, Jesus. “It isn’t my apartment, just a safehouse.” Jason doesn’t look up from where he’s emptying the cache on his guns. Dick laughs, low in his throat, “Okay, Jay.” - Or: Jason's still alive, and maybe that counts for something.

it’s about jason and recovery :) and i think the author has great voice and it needs a fuckton more attention, jesus

The Trading Chain by @heartslogos 

"Yeah. Thanks. Just what I need. Black lipstick."

pinnacle of Weird Families Bonding Weirdly. banger fic, fucking love Cass in this

bad signal by @prismatic-et-al

The rescue mission went well. Nightwing is safe. Everything should be alright.

Right?

oh man this fic hits. the pacing, the building, the characterization- everything about it is perfect. may be in my top 5 batfam fanfics tbh

Nightwing’s Thirsty Villains by @sophene

When Nightwing has to leave town, he asks his youngest brother to keep an eye on Blüdhaven. Things do not go the way that Damian expects.

fucking hilarious fic. nightwing is truly to sexy for his own good

The Great Sunglasses Saga by @comebackolivia

Tim just wants to find his sunglasses. Everything spirals from there. 

listen. listen. i love schemes. and this fic? has schemes, babey. love the crack-y vibes lmao

To Prove Their Worth by @/justleveledup

Damian isn't going to let his brothers date anyone he doesn't approve of.

i LOVE the first chapter oh my god and tim and kon are perfect oml (the second is good but i dont ship jaybabs rip)

Dragged to the Depths by @audreycritter

Dick sees something during a charity dinner aboard a yacht that makes him leap into the bay.

Jason finds him in time to pick up the pieces.

full disclosure this probably doesn’t count as underrated, but i’m gonna rec it anyway because i keep coming back to it. absolute classic of a hurt/comfort fic

gotham (k)nights by @nevereverever 

There was something about it, the four of them, no interruptions. It was dark in the cell, but it felt like a sleepy breakfast table. Like somehow, in uniform, kidnapped, and injured, they could be together and be a family.

or

Being captured and left to rot in a cell has never been this fun

fluff piece that i hold extremely near and dear to my heart. honestly a must-read for batfam

[izukult]

Okok awesome! 🖤🖤 I do have a wide variety in my music taste but artists most in my rotation are definitely Tyler the creator, Doja cat (streets?? Pls on rpt 🤤) and Arctic Monkeys, (pls don’t feel restrained by these artists tho !) very much chill vibes and driving late at night if that makes sense asjfkdkka. Personality wise I’m pretty awkward and fairly antisocial, very much ->🧍🏻‍♀️🧍🏻‍♀️😨 but once you get to know me I’m pretty loud and a little much tbh 🤭 like my laugh is genuinely TOO loud lmaooo, and I would very much appreciate it with Kageyama if that’s not too much to ask 😳👉🏼👈🏼 thank you again 🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤

hello my love. if i hadn’t known you, i wouldn’t have done this any kind of justice. BUT STRAP YOUR ASS IN WIFEY YOU KNOW WHAT IT BE. @chubbybunny111

you and kageyama.

oh god you and kageyama would scare the fuck out of me as a couple. have you seen those memes like boy who doesn’t talk all too much 💖 girl who loud asf? you two. LMAOOO.

definitely you two make fun of each other. on the daily. but, he also grumbles little compliments to u all nervous like. i feel like he would very much like your hair?? like,, it’s so curly,, it’s so pretty,,,, do a fella a favor and let him play with it, yeah?

i’m just imaging you in your straight clothes from high school and him in a disgusting unwashed sweaty ass volleyball uniform😻😻 IM SORRY OK ANYWAY

you two share earbuds all the time. just sittin next to each other in moderate silence with tunes playing.

he is so bad at texting LMAOOO. you’d send an ironic emoji and he’s done for? he just stares at it. blankly. void of any emotion other than confusion.

“i’m sorry did you just send ‘🤕’ after telling me you love me?”

“hey, you’re crying. why are you using 😋 right now?”

i’m sorry for making fun of him but also i’m NOT THATS SO FUNNY.

now, don’t take what i said earlier wrong, he’s not just like oh yes quiet around you (that’s not his personality people need to be better🙄), but when you two are in public he’s not like really affectionate? unless he’s jealous because he is (infact) an insecure bitch, but whenever that happens it feels forced and awkward figure that out kags.

we see the way he acts with hinata like? if he’s comfortable with you he’s going to be loud as fuck there’s no denying it. yall get told to shut up like on the daily?

shares his milk with you😁 not his food tho

LMAOFJAOFJS IM SORRY BUT HAVE YOU SEEN THAT MANS RELATIONSHIP WITH EATING? you ain’t getting between that babe

anyway here’s a fucking playlist for your hot ass i am literally in love with you. i really like this playlist tbh :)

1. sometimes (backwood); gigi- starting off with my favorite song at the moment. this isn’t really completely a deep meaning with the lyrics thing, because this song is pretty sad? i think it’s so vibey. it’s so good. it’s just a gentle, quiet night with the windows open and a full moon. however, like i said he’s insecure and has overthought while listening to this song.

2. breezeblocks; alt-J- mostly just a banger, indeed. you’re driving (i would not trust him behind the wheel? ever?), the lights are super pretty, he’s looking at you from the passenger seat ‘discretely’. he doesn’t want you to go, so those lyrics are accurate, but he’s also not a murderer dw😁 he couldnt

3. i wanna be yours; arctic monkeys- PHEW. OKAY. OKAY JESUS CHRSIT. no because you don’t understand yall are in LOVE? like in LOVE. he probably kisses you for the first time while this shit playing. he also, by default, blushes EVERY TIME THIS SONG COMES ON. such a lil bitch baby🙄

4. sucker; jonas brothers- stop before you say anything this song is unironically so good. i? could imagine you like? terribly dancing to this i dunno. i feel like if you got tobio in the right mood he would jam to some music w you‼️

5. EARFQUAKE; tyler, the creator- i think kageyama was like the kind of guy who mentally was constantly like “i want a gIRLFRIEND FUCK🤬🤬🤬”, but lile also once it happens? svary as fuck. have we not talked about how he does not really like himself much (thinking ab him practicing his smile rn poor baby). so yea, bad self confidence & in love with you. this song. PLUS, it’s a banger.

6. streets; doja cat- you at him lmao. do i have to say anything else?

7. ivy; frank ocean- he would put this song on a playlist for you and then not tell you about the song or the playlist and still get nervous about how youd react lmaooo. however, yknow in movies when like the guy looks at the girl and the music swells? that but with an emo volleyball player and frank ocean

8. redbone; childish gambino- very chill vibes and driving late at night energy. this song plays while yall lay on like ur couch or smth and you’re messing with the ends of his hair and he’s playing videos on his phone with one hand and like kind of awkwardly nervously trying to hold ur hand with the other and he just does the pinky thing thAT WE WERE TALKIN BOUT LMAOO

9. cocoa butter kisses; chance the rapper- i feel like if you were to smoke, this is the song you’d get high to. i don’t have much reason other than that? i can just see this playing in the background as you two exist together

10. my kind of woman; mac demarco- man, you’re really driving him mad🙄 BUT‼️ I THINK? ITS ALRIGHT WITH HIM😳. he’s absolutely whipped and he didn’t even know he had the ABILITY. i feel like you like to prove people wrong, so here’s another instance.

11. casual; doja cat- i know everyone hates getting played, but you feel like you would take a LOTTA precautions to avoid that, including the whole walls up deal. you’re super upfront about it? you’re not like secretly testing the waters, you’re like ‘if ur fucking w me gtfo of my face lol’ but clearly you wouldn’t talk to kags like that (however he’d hurriedly say he’s not a little too loud)

12. afraid; the neighbourhood- ABSOLUTE TOBIO ENERGY (also oikawa energy, i think its so cute that we are married and the mfs we choose to love r rivals). but anywho, absolute MAD tobio energy. yes he also takes out his insecurities with anger don’t actually like he’s not gonna have to work on that lmao

13. sex on fire; kings of leon- arguably one of the best songs to ever exist. he would be like ?!😳 the first time he heard it and youd probably like flick him LMAOFJAODJ this is just a good jam song for you two. he would definitely sing this song with you, don’t care don’t care

14. scary love; the neighbourhood- i’m beginning to think the neighbourhood just has kageyama energy? remind me to look into that later. either way, i’m putting extreme emphasis on this song. this song is completely how he feels. this song is IT. he watches in anticipation as he “shows you it cos it’s a good song”. please just be nice to him (while also bullying him😁)

15. when you were young; the killers- you’ve made out to this song i’m so sorry. MAYBE THATS JUST BECAUSE I THINK THIS WOULD BE THE PERFECTTTTJRJEJTI SONG. god. good fucking music. equal mix of good song and the lyrics hitting

[milesdadworth]

i too just finished watching (broke bitch walkthrough) aa4!! if u wanna write a 5k essay on your thoughts know id love to read it asdfghj also look forward to aai bc its a comedy, im 3 cases in rn and yeah. ~

@seratlantisite asked: SHARE the aa4 thoughts bc whoo boy is it a. Thought inducing game

OKAY man where do i even start im def gonna have to rewatch the game now that i kinda know what's going on lmfao

so my first thoughts coming off of it was (under a cut since this got long)

it was cool they had kristoph a defense attorney as the games big bad

i love that this game continued the theme of like everything intertwining with each other between the gramaryes, the gavins, phoenix, apollo like it just was rad i did enjoy it

I WAS PLEASANTLY SURPRISED THAT ZAK WASN'T LIKE. A BAD DUDE. i mean yea he made bad decisions regarding the situation but like he was. kinda trying to remedy things? but i'm still >:(( at him leaving Trucy like that with literally NO plan

ON THAT NOTE--VALANT???? COULD HE NOT HAVE TAKEN HER IN???? i'm still really glad phoenix ended up with trucy but like I KNOW VALANT WAS TRYING TO KEEP A LOW PROFILE AFTER THE TRIAL but like???? jesus he was really like some of the only 'family' she had left and he just???? anyway that was fucked

ALSO. WHAT THE FUCK WAS THE ENDING W THALASSA LIKE. 'cool i love knowing i have two kids i'm just leaving forever now' AND THEN WHILE I WAS LOOKING THROUGH THINGS AFTERWARD APPARENTLY ITS JUST NEVER ADDRESSED AGAIN? WHAT???????? im so fuckignfdmskfjeifjo WHAT holy shit pLEASE TELL THEM THEY'RE SIBLINGS LIKE WHAT FURJJIAEOJAOKFAEIJ I'm feral.

but anyway i mean every single case was a fuckin banger LIKE EVEN THE 'TUTORIAL' TRIAL. LIKE. i legit enjoyed every case which hasn't been the case with the other trilogy games except like the first game.

idk if this is like an unpopular opinion (i haven't been in this fandom long enough i think xD)

but like all that being said I think the trilogy is still by far my favorite in terms of characters. like i did very much enjoy apollo/trucy/klavier/ema they were so much fun while playing through the game

but like i'm not OBSESSED w them and their relationships as i still am w phoenix, miles, maya, pearls, gumshoe, franziska, godot, mia like all them in the way that like

WHILE i was playing the trilogy i had like five wrightworth fics in my head i was writing juST RARING TO GO ON THOSE GUYS and klapollo while it's been cute im just *shrug emoji* and don't have any drive to write them or include them in fic in anyway other than just being like mentioned BUT THAT MAY STILL CHANGE IDK I guess part of that too was getting a full trilogy with those guys whereas apollo kinda just got his one game and then they decided to change it up again so

i'll still hold out reservations til i play dd and soj (but i've also seen those do some funky stuff to characterizations and that the writing it weird, etc so we'll see) but trilogy era characters still have my fuckin heart

SO OVERALL THE GAME WAS LIKE way better in terms of the writing and stuff but goddamn trilogy characters my beloved <33

[backstreets]

lover... ranked (no more talking about lover the world has progressed past the need to talk about lover)

cruel summer- WHERE was the single release taylor. taylor.... please answer my calls.... please miss swift ... no don’t block me bitch i need to talk to you... WHERE was the lead single release NO taylor please don’t hang up on m-

lover- LOVE the production on this. the mccartney-esque bass line is just.. ugh *chefs kiss* AND the plucky strings in the bridge are SO good. lovely and completely sincere lyrics, really summarising everything she does best. I’d love to see more of this jack antonoff production coming through on her future albums.

it’s nice to have a friend- does it make sense on this tracklist? no. is it one of the best songs on the album? absolutely. i love the steel drums and the backing vocals. the horn section is also really lovely. i’ve heard people say this sounds “unfinished” which i totally get but i think it takes the stripped back production of the archer and actually gives it a personality. lyrically it’s one of the best on the album. and one that lives up to the “lover” title.

paper rings: A BOP. A BANGER. A GOD DAMN PIECE OF BUBBLEGUM POP PERFECTION. this pop-punk, 90s-does-60s production fucks soooo hard. jack antonoff please fuck my wife. this could have shaped the sound of the album.... but no :// anyway paper rings haters REPENT.

i think he knows- underrated legend. i maintain that if this was a carly rae jepsen song you guys would have eaten this up. anyway this has such a fun baseline and i love her voice in the chorus. solid pop track... you guys just hate fun.

soon you’ll get better- deserves better than this album.

you need to calm down- this is so fun. if i ever said anything bad against this song then no i didn’t.

afterglow: i LOVE the constant echoey drums in this. lyrically it’s a bit meh especially the bridge. but i really love the production on this and the chorus is really impactful.

the archer- about to get con-tro-ver-sial. but this song is..... not good. listen... i think this song was really well received initially (me included!!) because of the slew of bad singles that were released before this. but the production is non existent and the song goes nowhere. some pretty decent lyrics but nothing that’s better than anything on folklore or red. also the humpty dumpty line. jail time.

false god- love the sax but needs MORE of it. don’t know why there is this running theme of taylor bringing in a really good production element and then forgetting in for the rest of the song (see: miss americana, death by a thousand cuts). lyrically. it’s fine. glad taylor is getting her box eaten.

cornelia street: sigh. a perfectly fine piece of storytelling. but jesus christ. this sounds like nothing. whatever that constant synth sound is in the background makes me want to scream. and not in a good way.

london boy- i was forced to listen to this song over 50 times in a row on a discord channel so i don’t think this is technically even a “song” anymore. it’s part of my dna.

miss americana- why. why does this exist. it’s like if the worst parts of lana del rey and the best parts of halsey got put in a blender and this was the weird smoothie that came out of it. the strings before the last chorus are good.... why are they non existent for the rest of the song? is it political? i can’t tell. this didn’t need to be here

iftye- i love the instrumental on this one, the bass is really bouncy and fun. that’s it really. taylor’s vocals on this are really subpar and she deserves jail time for the drake line

death by a thousand cuts- love the my-my-my introduction... but it just doesn’t show up again? i hate the wind chime sounds that come in during the first chorus. the production is all over the place and it’s really distracting... the musical choices made on this song make no sense. lyrically :// she’s made better break up songs. mostly this song gives me a headache.

the man- i liked the part where she said if she was a man she would fuck women. yeah. that’s it.

daylight- everytime i listen to this i’m like. i can’t wait til it’s over. this is lyrically and musically one of the blandest songs of taylor’s career. i really have nothing else to say. it makes me angry that i had to listened to it again.

me!- no

[meowstix]

fuck it my thoughts on every pokemon theme song

indigo league: it’s good and all but compared to other themes there’s no way i could confidently call it the best. also has anyone even heard the full version bc i sure hadn’t until recently

pokemon world: i really don’t know what to say other than this slaps HARD, especially the movie version

pokemon johto: the second best one, this song fills me with so much joy i love it so much........ movie version is far worse though imo

born to be a winner: it’s like indigo league but cooler, specifically it reuses a part of the full version of it, i’d say it’s better but still not close to the best. movie version, however, gets to go in the cool kids gang.

believe in me: ok i legit remember this one only because of pokemon heroes..... and yeah it’s a good song!! i don’t know what else to say honestly...

i wanna be a hero: most of the song is meh, but there’s a couple good bits, wouldn’t say it slaps but it’s not bad

this dream: this one’s pretty nostalgic to me bc i used to watch this one dvd with a few of the hoenn eps on it a lot and i think they might’ve had this theme song?? i can’t quite remember though

unbeatable: HAHA IT’S FUNNY BECAUSE HE KEEPS LOSING!!!11 jokes aside i also have immense nostalgia for this one bc i don’t really remember if the dvd i mentioned above had any episodes with this dream as the theme song but this one was DEFINITELY in there

battle frontier: it’s fine but also like. if this song was a person i would probably hate them idk how else to say it honestly

diamond & pearl: awful, i hate it, the worst one. i remember in the pokerap bdg mentioned “educational rap flow” and i feel like that applies here. the ending is pretty decent though.

we will be heroes: i guess they knew diamond & pearl was bad bc sinnoh’s other themes are a lot more.. pretty, i guess? not like they objectively slap they just feel like the aim’s more uplifting and.. kinda sorta calm i guess. anyway this one’s fine, definitely a step up from diamond & pearl.

battle cry: yes this song’s good but that PERCUSSION..... a whole different level and it alone makes me declare this song a banger

we will carry on: honestly i don’t really vibe with this one but i can’t call it bad. percussion is once again great here.

black & white: the song itself is decent enough but the animation is unique and neat... i just like the funny cgi pokemon ok

rival destinies: it’s fine but also this feels too much like a love song and i do not like that. like yeah they say “friends” but let’s be real these are love song lyrics.

it’s always you and me: this one’s very nice and happy and i like it but it also has those love song vibes unfortunately

xy: man x/y really did love gen 1 huh........ anyway the original vs this is just daniel vs the cooler daniel... still not part of the cool kids gang though

be a hero: absolutely SLAPS. also they never say pokemon in this one so go apeshit with those amvs lads. how many of these have hero in the title anyway jesus christ

stand tall: it’s cool and good but also i made a playlist of pokemon music and put this there, hit shuffle, and got it like 5 times so augh

under the alolan sun: i know the theme songs generally have some amount of cheesiness to them, but this is too much for me personally. also “it’s like i’m on vacation” isn’t this the one series where ash goes to school how do you mess that up

under the alolan moon: first off, apparently this one and challenge of life. don’t have full versions?? idk what’s up with that. anyway i don’t like this one and is the only one i’d call bad besides diamond and pearl .

the challenge of life: honestly this one’s short and sweet, that’s all i have to say about it actually.

after the rain: the best one, please listen to the full version if you haven’t i’m begging you it’s SO GOOD..........

[sasukebarmitzvah]

watching every naruto opening and discussing my opinions because im bored liveblog

original

took me a little while to warm up to it idk why maybe because its not as up tempo and its a shonen and i want to get hype but i love it now. love the part where the camera pans around team 7 fighting randos they are babies… also its so funny when sasuke holds out his hand to naruto to help him out of the lake and he jsut fist bumps him. gay boy

Haruka fucking kanata baby!!!!!!!! a fav. like we all know this. i listen to the song just regularly a lot and every time it comes on shuffle im like Oh my god its haruka kanata. read the english translation of the lyrics… sns

this one got stuck in my head for a while lol. i like seeing everyone babie and i like naruto shaking his head at the end to dry off like a dog

DDMnanannaddnnaaaaa naaaaaaaaa nda aaWE ARE FIGHTING DEAMERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OOLI OLI OLIOOOOoohh!!!!! very fun very good also a very good time in the show, hello tsunade

**edgy shonen opening where theres something important in front of a chain link fence**

lol skipping 6-9 bc thats the huge chunk of filler which i didnt actually watch most of

shippuden

heros come back is SO GOOD absolutely one of my favs. banger first of all. i love how its actually choreographed and naruto sakura kakashi are like moving to the beat and i love the part where the animation is like pencil sketchy and theyre running and their bodies warp bro its just cool. the part where everyone dramatically reaches for gaara is fun, also love deidaras moment. anyway i shake my ass to this song eveyrday

distance oh god oh fuck. YOU ARE MY FRIEND!!! the sasuke and naruto stuff where they are little baby at the beginning at the end we return to the same place theyre there and like about to stab each other i’m going to scream. i lvoe the song of course. hello sai! i love team 7s little spotlight moments where they get to pose to the music its so cute. why is sasuke snake jesus? DO you remember that long lost DREAM!!!!!!!!!!

BLUE BIRD YA BANGER ok the whole symbolism. when naruto falling next to sasuke rising is positioned like yin and yang lol. when naruto is falling from the sky but then sasuke comes to mind and he springs into action lol. ok random people from the fillers i dont care about. naruto fell in the lake he picks up the bird feather interspersed with a couple shots of sasuke horgh. additional reading: paper bag by fiona apple

closer is one of the ones where im like eh its ok its not my favorite and then it gets to the chorus and my dumb ass is jsut screaming YOU KNOW THE CLOSER YOU GET TO SMETHING THE TOUGHTER IT IS TO REACHIT. the funniest part where narutos moping and thinking of sasuke and then he just perks up and smiles at the camera like. gay boy. like getting to see the asuma fight scenes in this op, also it was so funny seeing him get all the screentime in this op knowing hes about to die like yeah very subtle

SHA LA LA!!!! LOVE IT i love it i love it soooo much first of all banger second of all naruto looking into the water and his reflection is sasuke. lollllll. metaphor m-e-t-a-p-h-o-r the little prechorus bit in the middle gives me chills. love sasuke walking into the purple pool like a smug motherfucker thats my boy. at the end zooming into sasukes pupil zoom out it’s narutos eye oh the poetry..

signs another one of the ones where im like eh whatever its fine but not my fav but by the chorus i am standing on the table freaking out. like fuck jiraiya but this one got me a lil. the lighting and choreography of the sasuke itachi fight bit is sooooo nice and pretty, love getting to see all the new players in the story. baby ame orphans fading to the shot of yahiko as pain.. :(

this one literally makes me cry. i get chills what the fuck. definitely one of my favs. am i a bitch? maybe. i like the song by itself but like the way the rise/general shape of the melody flows with the visuals its like oh god oh fuck. again fuck jiraiya but like the role his character serves as a link between these disparate groups of people and the way thats used in this opening… how it starts and ends with him writing and this is the arc where naruto reads tales of a gutsy ninja and he learns about how he got his name and jiraiya wrote the book and hes WRITING and im going CRAZY!! i’m starting to tear up watching it rn. the shot of konan and the pains in that moment just before they leap forward. Sayonaaaaaaara aa lksasldfkwpoeifjhnuerIELFeuiertekdjsnlfweiourbg kakashis moment is cool in this op. also love to see the girls getting fight scenes in this op cus they sure dont in the actual show LOL anyway yeah im at the part where the melodys just hitting sooo different oh my god naruto frog eyes

DIVERRRRRRR. FAV literally like naruto is drowning. hes drowning and everyone is pushing him up so he can breathe again everyone is fighting to save him and thnen he s ouf ot the water and then he sees sasuke drowning and he JUMPS BACK IN. FOR ONE PERSON EVEN THOUGH ALL THESE OTHER PEOLE were working to help him out he dives back in for SASUKE whos drowning in the eyehole of obitos mask which is cool. ok yeah this is another one where im like tearing up because THe cymbal is em….. the way The movement of the visuals is choreographed with the song is so much. nico TOUCHED the fucking walls.

this one kinda annoys me i dont know why it just wasnt my favorite. love the sasuke and naruto staring at each other intensely moment though, would this be a shippuden opening without that. also the part at the end where sakura holds up her kunai and it like slashes and covers sasuke and naruto… inch resting…

newsongs so weird i love it. like what the hell is going on. why is naruto running like hes from some weird gmod video from 2013. love the LITERAL choreography, everyone dancing to the song like this is a musical. theres just a lot of weird moments which is fun. love sai naruto and sakura making the seal together to shoot lightning. raikage leaping gracefully across the beach

i do not enjoy this one. i just dont. it just feels like we’re bootlicking which of course we are because this is the war arc and everything is a nightmare

i remember seeing the first episode with this opening and i was excited bc its like… great another naruto pining for sasuke one this is what im here for. a light banger. minato manlet monday. ohh right this was the one where gaara sees his dad again and his OH I SEE SASUKEE

Banger! nico did indeed touch the walls again. i like that this one is like visually thematically consistent thru the whole thing, i like the nighttime dimly lit atmosphere with the bursts of brighter colorful lighting, also whenever i see tsunade i freak out. narutos cute at the end

SUCH A BANGER!!! also very cool visual style, appreciate it for that like the last one, its got that pretty consistent aesthetic with the red sky and the high contrast black blocking its fun and cool to watch. did i mention the song is a bit of a banger. obito passing thru the rock is cool too bad hes an idiot

ok from this one there were two lines i remember always seeing in the english sub that made me freak out. and one of them was like “this red hot love burning my heart” and it was over kakashi and obito fighting like damn OK. also the “i put the candle out with my finger” thing sticks in my head idk why. hate that we have the narutos big meaty claws i mean manly hands moment though. omg its hashirama and madara and then it CUTS TO SASUKE AND NARUTO IN THE SAME POSE LOL OK…

SILHOUETTE IS a banger… not as much so as some of the others but its a lot of fun. very colorful op, we got some naruto pining for sasuke, classic. also love the thing where ppl are running and they age as they do and they sort of grow into their present selves, a fun visual bit. the end where narutos like obito be nice now look at all these people behind me who think youre a meanie please be nice :(((((((((

another one with a really good visual principle ugh i love how the style of the show is integrated w the styles of more traditional printmaking its very swexy and nice to look at

LINE uugrgh i love this one, maybe a fav… naruto chasing after the light and sasuke trying so hard to snuff it out as they both reflect on their memories of each other oh god oh fuck… also i love the bits where it just has all the characters in a row like it reminds me of that one post about how in the endgame trailer they had a shot of all the female characters together to be like Girl power!! and someone was like yeah thats them showing u exactly how many women theyre going to disrespect LMAO but yeah i do love this op. also the song itself being slower w/ the triplet tempo is a nice change of pace

blood circulator hee hee… the version of this with naruto and sasuke moments is A Lot but even just the generic first version is fun. the part where narutos like knocked on his face hes sinking into the tar and hes not even trying to save himself hes just staring at sasuke, but then he sees sasuke distressed and he goes bijuu mode immediately like What did u say about my mans? there is some homoeroticism

i really hate everything about this i hate it all. sasuke is cute. thats it. ok first of all why did choji cut his hair his long hair look was so gooooooood. hinata bimboification? i mean if anything it was fun to watch these fillers just cus it was fun to watch kakashi be the hokage but really goofy and also the Crumbs tossed to the kakairus… but yeah i hate everything temari got bimbofied too like ugh please let her be a dyke :( this isnt even me talking necessarily about the opening this is me just being like i hate the naruto ending. LOL SASUKE AND NARUTOS NO HOMO BRO HIGH FIVE AT THE END LOLLLLL

ok im done

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #217

“roses are red, and my heart is black. we creep about the floor to indulge like rats.”

Do you know anyone who works in a laboratory? No. What was the very first social media site you signed up for? MySpace. Can you see yourself marrying your current partner? (if you have a partner) Easily. If you were in a coma, who would be making healthcare decisions for you? My mom. Are you the type of person who knows exactly what they want in life? Not entirely, but mostly. Do you have commitment issues? Not at all. What was the last thing you had an allergic reaction to? Silver. Have you gone out to dinner in the past week? No. What’s something you’ve done that sounds too crazy to be true? The only thing I think someone would actually find "crazy" would be I've been in a psychiatric hospital five or six times (I seriously can't remember). Are there any flowers planted outside your house? No. Well, not by us. There's a camellia tree by our back door that we didn't plant. What’s the weirdest decoration you’ve seen in someone else’s home? I'unno. I generally don't find decorations strange. Spice up your house with what you like. Did you have your own bathroom when you were growing up? No. Do you know anyone who never disciplines their children? I know of people. What’s the longest you’ve gone without leaving the house? Weeks. Are you more of a practical thinker, or more of an imaginative thinker? I think I can be on either end depending on the situation. Does anyone in your family smoke? My dad does. How well do you know your neighbors? I've never interacted with the ones to the right of us, but Mom knows the woman to the left, and she's apparently very nice. Mom was talking about her just the other day about how she always brings our trash can back to the fence, actually. How far are you into the book you’re currently reading? N/A Have you ever had a pet escape and run away? I don't believe so, at least not permanently. Do any of your exes know each other? Jason and Juan did. Girt and Jason know each other because of me; we all hung out a few times. It's both funny and sad now to know how friendzoned Girt was... ha ha. Sorry man. What’s an opinion you find impossible to take seriously? "Dinosaurs didn't exist." What the fuck are fossils then, bitch. What was the very first election you voted in? I haven't voted in any yet. Do you know how to make omelettes? No. I could probably figure it out, but I don't know for sure. What is your favorite summer month? Fuck summer. What do you want to be for Halloween this year? One of the witches from Hocus Pocus would be super cool, but yeah, I don't have the money to even try to make a costume. Do you have a desk in your room? If so, do you use it as a desk that you sit and work at? No. Do you wear band tees? if yes, which one is your favorite? Yes. I love my Metallica one. It's got a really cool design. Would you ever want to live in a home with all-white walls and furniture? "Not white furniture, no. That seems like it’d be a pain to keep clean." <<< Definitely. Do you have pajama days often? I'm literally always in pjs unless I have to leave the house and get out of the car. There's no point in changing otherwise; I'd just be creating more laundry. What is one thing you’re behind on? Instead of the usual "life in general" answer, I'll make it more interesting. RP. Jesus fucking holy Christ, I am over a year behind in SO MUCH because I just haven't had motivation, all the while plots have grown like mad. Thank god my partners are really damn patient, lol. And/or have other business, too. Do you ever re-arrange your room? No. I HATE moving/changing shit. Do you share a room with anyone? No. Who was your first roommate? Jason, Jacob, and Amanda. What season do you want to get married in? AUTUMN!!!!!!!! FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Frosting: chocolate or vanilla? Chocolate. Ice cream: chocolate or vanilla? Vanilla. Milkshake: chocolate or vanilla? Chocolate, more often. Do you drink protein shakes? EW that shit mad gross. What was the last type of candy you ate? Uhhhh what was it. I don't have candy a lot now, so uh... I think Airheads? What was the last craft project you completed? It was VERY weakly a "craft," but Sara's first Valentine's Day present. Which is better: starting things or finishing them? Finishing. I start things all the damn time and never finish them. What is the highest name-brand thing you own? Good question. What color GameBoy did you have as a kid? Red. What was your favorite GameBoy game? Hm. I liked a lot. We had a whole case of different ones. I suppose maybe the Spyro one I could never get far into. But I liked it anyway because yeah. Spyro. What was your favorite Backstreet Boys song? "The Call" probably tops the list, but also you're full of shit if you thought "Larger Than Life" wasn't a fuckin BANGER. Damn, "The Shape of My Heart" was great, too. BSB were/are just great, man. Did you ever wonder what it felt like to get slimed? Ha ha you mean like on Nickelodeon? Yup. Did you ever name a pet after an imaginary friend? I never had one. Do you believe in angels and demons? I don't know. I believe in spirits, but I don't know about actual angels and demons. Do you have a PayPal account? No. What race do you consider yourself? ... You can "consider" yourself a race? You don't get to pick that. Whatever, I'm Caucasian. Should unwanted animals in shelters be killed to make room? Fuck that shit. Should cows be killed for human food? See, this is why I want to return to vegetarianism. TECHNICALLY, no. It's murder upon a conscious, feeling, living being. But at the same time, humans are designed as omnivores, and surviving off of a plant-based diet is, sadly, extremely difficult. It's difficult to obtain the proper nutrients and their advised amounts to be healthy. Therefore, I can't confidently answer this question. I wish they didn't have to be, but human civilization would have an incredibly more difficult time continuing with all meat products removed for consumption. Does the technique used to kill an animal matter to you? I mean if I KNEW, yes, but at least from the research I've done, there's no real "humane" method used to kill livestock. Most live in awful conditions/are already unhealthy, too, and that should matter . Should farmers be allowed to cause suffering in animals to save money? Fuck off. Should production of medicines be justification to cause animals to suffer? No. We neeeeeeed to find other ways. Use pedophiles or some shit. Should violence against animals; such as rodeos/ bullfights be legal? Fuck to the hell no. I get some kind of dark pleasure out of hearing about shitheads being gored and stuff for it, honestly. Should homosexuals be allowed to work with children? This shit pisses me the fuck off. Of course they should be. Like I'm sorry, but your children aren't going to be hidden from them forever. Do you believe homosexuality is caused by genetics? Well yeah. You don't get to choose your sexuality; something has to be responsible. Are Americans are truly free, or suffering from controlled freedom? CONTROLLED FREEDOM JFC TRY TO DENY IT. Are there other countries that offer more personal freedoms? Not that I KNOW of. Like yeah, my above answer clearly states I think America could be better, but I don't know I place where it's actually better. Do you trust your government? Fuck no. They hide a lot of shit. Should religious beliefs outweigh science in the making of laws? Lolololololol no, hunny. Separation of church and state. What is one moment that you missed out on that you wished you didn’t? Hm. OH, that solar eclipse that happened I think last year? We saw nothing here. :< Do you or have you ever had braces? For a long time. Got them on, then didn't have the money to take them off for a while. Can you text? Yeah, but not quickly. I am - usually - very thankful for autocorrect. Have you ever had a nervous breakdown? OH BOY HAVE I!!!!!!!!!!!! What are you scared to death of? My mom dying, for one. I DO NOT know what would happen to me. Are you good at art? I'm told so at least; I'm aware I'm at least decent. It also depends on the art form. Are you afraid of needles? Nah. What TV show is the stupidest to you? I honestly had a really big problem (and have, if it's still even on) with the Teen Mom series. Yes, I do in fact believe it made looking like one cooler and more normal than it is. Do you hate being ignored? Yes; I start to think I'm not cared about, badly. Especially if it's family or "friends." Like no, I don't at all expect attention constantly, or even a lot of it, but I think it's only natural people who claim they love you should not pretend they don't know you, particularly when you actually reach out. THEN it hurts. Where do you currently live? North Carolina, please get me out. Do you like marijuana? I wouldn't know. Do you donate to charity? I can't. I seriously don't have money. Where is your favorite place to go out to eat? Olive Garden. What is your favorite TV station? Discovery. Do you think you’re clever? No. Did you wear socks today? No. I avoid wearing socks as much as I can. Know any magic tricks? I don't remember the ones I learned as a kid. Do you sleep well most nights? No. When’s the last time you baked a cake? Never. What’s your preferred frozen snack? Ice cream, yum. Do you work better in a clean or messy environment? CLEAN. It inspires me to do well and with an organized strategy. Do you know any vegans? I don't believe so. Earphones or headphones? I personally prefer earphones since they go into the ear and are just more comfortable than a weight on your head that can move easier. Do you like bananas? Yeah, but the timespan in which I enjoy them is short. They have to be "perfect." What’s a film you’ve seen that confused you? I know there are some, but none are coming to me curr- WAIT NO okay so I saw Warcraft when it came out into theaters, and I barely understood a single thing because the orcs' voices were way too deep. I need to rewatch it with subtitles. Do you ever wear black lipstick? I pretty much always do if I wear lipstick. What would you change about yourself appearance-wise? HEY can I Please fix my fucking weight??? Because I do like everything I can do already & nothing works??? :') How long do you normally spend in the shower? Just short of ten minutes, I think. If you were to get a tattoo, what would it say or what would the graphic be? *opens novel of ideas* Don't make me pick just one. When trick-or-treating as a kid, was there any kind of candy that you didn’t like to get? Tootsie rolls, ew. What is your favorite memory of Christmases past? The time my mom, sisters, and I went to a Christmas light show one night, and we got back to the car only to realize Mom left the keys in there. Sooo while we waited for my drunk dad and brother to come help us, we all chilled on the car's hood with chocolate covered peanuts and THE best hot chocolate. That place is no longer around, and I'll forever be mad tilted about it. What is the most outrageous thing you’ve done for God? Lmfao remember the days I denied evolution and gay rights? Them were the wild times. When you were in grade school, what did you want to be when you grew up? Why? First, paleontologist because I adored (and still adore) dinosaurs, then a vet as I wanted to help animals. In high school, it changed from movie director to game designer. Name the most famous person you’ve had a face to face encounter with. No one. If you could spend 15 minutes with any living person, who would it be and why? Um like have y'all ever heard of this guy named Mark Edward Fischbach because I have time to enlighten you of all the reasons- What article of clothing most closely describes your personality? Pj pants, lmao. Who was your hero when you were a child, and what did you do to be like them? Steve Irwin. I adore animals in general, push very firmly for conservation, and madly support proper education of wildlife, especially your local kinds. How did you learn to ride a bicycle? I had a bike with training wheels at first, then my dad took them off and would jog alongside me, holding the bars and then releasing them after a few moments for me to go on my own. Repeated 'til I got it! Based on something you’ve already done, how might you make it into the Guinness Book of World Records? This is going to be VERY embarrassing to share, but fuck it. I have so little reason to leave my bed that my legs have actually experienced muscle atrophy. My knees especially are extremely prone to awful pain when standing or walking. I don't really have a way to exercise in this tiny house, my road is too sketchy to walk along, and at least this time of year, I physically can't handle the heat if I was to walk in the back yard. I'm dying to go somewhere where I can swim to fix this shit. I could ramble on forever about how painful it is to be on my feet. I'd be happy enough with even just a treadmill. When was the last time you did something for the first time? What was it? Hm. I guess foreplay with a girl. I don't exactly experience new things much. What is your concept of a fruitful day? Actually doing productive shit. If you could rid the world of one thing, what would it be? Violence. What is your best personal characteristic? I am like, incredibly passionate. If I believe in something, you'll know. If I love something, it's to an insane degree. If you had to enter a competition for the “Most Uselessly Unique Talent,” what would your talent be? Being able to hide my thumb under my palm to where it looks like it's entirely non-existent lmao. What is your worst personality characteristic? I am VERY sensitive. I also have a hard time taking criticism without beating my ass up because I feel like I did something "bad." I don't get defensive, I just get hurt. Man, I could go on. There's a lot I don't like about myself. If you had to be a teacher of something, what would you teach? I'd be most interested in teaching science. How would you like to be remembered? I loved ferociously and spoke strong of peace. What is one thing that you constantly think about (other than material things)? The future. Does your country have free healthcare? *points at top five list of things America needs to fucking fix* Does your job allow visible tattoos? N/A How is your road rage? I drive so timidly and rarely that I don't think I really even have a clue. Who are your closest friends and how did you meet them? I'll exclude Sara as she's more than "a close friend." I don't have many close friends otherwise tho, so really... I think only Girt applies. We met in high school band. Well, then there's Alex, but considering she now acts like I don't exist as well, I don't know how close we really are. But anyway, we met in WoW because we were both camping the time-lost protodrake and talking w/ others in the general chat... but she and I really clicked. That was an awesome day. Started some damn adventures with her lmao. Are you still cool with any of your exes? The only two who may still have a problem with me are Jason and Tyler, but I have no bad feelings towards them. What Hogwarts House are you in? I took quizzes once for a survey because I was curious, but I couldn't answer most of the ones I found bc they had HP references I didn't get. But anyway, I think Hufflepuff and Gryffindor were pretty much tied. What’s the next special event in your life? Returning to school. :') Whose birthday is coming up soon? My nephew's. :''''') Do you delete people from Facebook if their views are vastly different than yours? It depends on the views and their severity. Usually I can handle averse opinions if you're actually a friendly person and composed and mature about what you believe and how you express that. What’s your favorite thing to put on bagels? Cream cheese. What’s the most important key on your key ring? I only have one, and that's to my house. What was the last argument you got in about and who was it with? AHAHAHAAHAHA okay so. There was a video on FB of a pet meerkat having its belly rubbed, and it was chirping happily. It was very cute, but especially because this video was on a big page, I commented how awful and unhealthy of an idea it is to have a pet meerkat for both it and yourself. It's illegal in a lot of places for good reason. I got a lot of agreement, but of course there was one imbecile who disagreed enough to tell me to shut the fuck up. Now I am normally very, very terrified of confrontation or even the HINT of it, but for once in my life I couldn't have been more unfazed. At what age did you start picking out your own outfits? I don't know. I've come to find via surveys that I can't really remember events by ages. How spicy do you like your food? Pretty spicy. Spicier than most like, but I don't enjoy it when it's just pure pain. What was the last really intense pain you felt? You know that awwwfuuuulll pinch of pain you sometimes get in your ribs when your lungs expand to a certain, small amount? That. I couldn't take deep breaths for anything. What is the best thing that’s ever happened to you? Recovery from the breakup. What are three things you have been a victim of? Uhhhh. Idk, nothing major. What is your passion? Wildlife conservation, probably more than anything. When was the last time you truly felt alive? Ha, good question. How many siblings do you have? Technically six, but I don't know one at all. Are you married? No. Are you dating someone? Yeah. If not, do you wish you were dating someone? N/A Do you want an indoor or outdoor wedding? I'm not sure. What states (or countries) have you lived in? Just one. Does your first crush know you liked them? No. Do you wish on stars? Nope. Are you happier now than you were 10 years ago? I don't know. I can't really remember exactly what I was like at 13. I think I'm maybe happier now? Are you happier now than you were 5 years ago? Yes. ^If not, why not? N/A ^If yes, why? My depression is under control. Do you live in your dream house? Definitely not. What was your first job? Sales clerk at GameStop. ^Did you like it? No, thanks to feral social anxiety. Have you been bullied? No, very thankfully. What do you wish people knew about you? I sincerely care about my loved ones, a lot, even though I have trouble being the one to reach out first. What health issues do you have? A lot. Don't even feel like putting them all together. Do you still cross paths with your first crush ever? No. What is your favorite Bible verse, and why? None. Do you have a secret nobody knows? Yes. It's nothing major, just little things I don't want to share. Who are some of the most selfish people you have ever met? I don't know. Is there anyone you want back in your life? Yes. What color was the house you grew up in? True shit, I somehow don't remember for sure. I think it was brick? What was the name of the first pet that you loved? Charcoal, a cat, was the first pet I had a serious, deep bond with. Do you receive more insults or compliments? Compliments, I guess. Do you meditate? No. Do you pray? No. Have you ever seen a spirit/ghost/shadowy figure, etc.? I've sure as hell seen something. What would you ask a genie for, if you had three wishes? World peace, end of disease, and the end of poverty. When someone messages you and you know it’s going to be rude, do you ignore it and not read it, or do you read it and reply? Honestly, most of the time, I ignore it. I am so, SO sensitive, so my feelings are super easily hurt by what others have to say. Do you find online drama stressful? Yes. Even more than irl drama because you have to wait painstakingly for them to reply, and you can't hear their tone of voice. How stressful is your life? I'm pretty damn stressed for someone who's trapped inside their house lmao. Was any of your home decor inspired by Pinterest? No. Do you do yoga? No. What is something you have tried and hated? Oral is NOT my jazz. Do you have regrets? Yeah. Are you mad at someone? No. What is this month’s calendar picture? I don't have a calendar. What is your last ex-boyfriend’s or ex-girlfriend’s name? Technically Donald. Do you have an ex-friend that you miss? Yep. What color do you want your wedding dress to be? Most likely black. Would you rather go out for pancakes or steak? Pancakes. I like them more in general, and I'm also suuuper picky with steak. What’s your favorite Ramen noodle flavor? The only kind I've ever liked is the Yakisoba brand of spicy chicken. How do you feel when you read the Bible, if you read it? Encouraged? Angry? I don’t read it. Have you ever suffered from anxiety? I had some anxieties as a little kid, and I was officially diagnosed with it in the 6th grade. Have you ever suffered from depression? Since the 7th grade. What is something a lot of people like but you don’t? Pie is what came to mind first. What’s an uplifting song you like to listen to? "High Hopes" by P!ATD. Think about the person you fell hardest for. Why do you think your feelings for this person were so strong? How is he/she different compared to everyone else you’ve had feelings for? Well, he was my first real love. They're always special. I was fucking crazy for him, and it grew to an unhealthy degree. Trust me, you can love too much. He made me happy when so few could back then, and we had a connection unprecedented in my whole life. He himself felt like my home. I could write you a goddamn novel on why I felt so strongly. Have you ever caught your friend cheating on their boyfriend/girlfriend? If you have, what did you do about it? If you haven’t, what do you think you would do? No. Quite honestly, I'd tell them. I could NOT keep that a secret. Whether they believe me or not, I'm not withholding that from them. When your last relationship ended, how long was it before you felt ready to think about being with someone else? I know this technically sounds bad, but Sara and I started dating the day after I broke up with him. One of the reasons we split is because I realized I liked her. It was so quick because I never had to "move on;" I never came to be truly interested in him romantically. Who was the last person you talked to before you went to sleep last night? Do you remember what you talked about? Sara and I were texting, but I don't remember about what. When are you at your happiest? When I'm with Sara. How many people have you kissed? Three or four. I don't really remember if I ever kissed Girt. How many of those people are you still friends with? Two. Where did you go, the last time you left your house? Mom and I went to multiple places. She had errands to run. Do you like your singing voice? Rarely. I think it fits only a few songs. Are most silences awkward for you? UH-HUH UH-HUH. Name someone you wish you had never met. Why? Jabari. He was scary and almost assaulted someone in my family. Who has the nicest singing voice, that you know personally? Probably Sara. Say something nice about someone you really don’t care for: He loves his kids to death. Ever won school awards? Yes. Do you drink more soda than anything else? Not anymore, thankfully. Do you curse a lot? I curse possibly more than anyone you know. Have you ever been in a courtroom? Yes. Do you eat a lot around Thanksgiving? No. I actually don't like 99% of Thanksgiving food. Were you a chubby child? No. Are you afraid to sing in front of people? Yes. Do you enjoy your family? Yeah. When did you last dance with someone? I forced Sara to last June lmao. Do you feel awkward watching sex scenes? VERY. Did you ever have senior photos done? No. Are your parents protective of you? Mom is for sure. I don't see my father much, and he's changed a LOT since the divorce, so I can't really answer for him. I know he is to some degree, I just don't know how much. Have you ever been bullied? I've had some mean shit said to me, but I don't believe I've ever really been consistently "bullied." Do you ever help decorate during the holidays? No. I just don't have the motivation and don't really care enough to put things up that're only coming down in two months. Do you have carpeted floors? Only my room and my sis's old one. Can you count to ten in another language? German, yeah. Have you ever been arrested? No. Do you always lock your door at night? Yeah. Do you get allowance? No, never did. Do you have a Facebook? Yes. Do you enjoy the presence of children? In most cases, no.

[destiel-love-forever]

Locked Out

Anon asked for this (based on a post from tumblr):

“The lock jammed on the front door of my shitty prewar apartment building so I just spent twenty minutes forcing it open while my very drunk neighbor sat on the steps nodding at my efforts and going “This is fun. Being locked out together. We should hang out more.” // He’s like 6’2 and jacked. At one point he was like “Try a kick. Try… kicking it.” So I donkey kicked it as hard as I could and it did absolutely nothing but he was still like “Wow. More Torque… than I expected. You’ve got a surprising, uh, torque to size ratio.”

Based on this post by @youcantcancelquidditch

Read below or on AO3: Locked Out

Locked Out

When I get home from the library, it’s already nearly three in the morning. I’m dead on my feet with a brain stuffed so full of information on human anatomy that it feels like my skull might split open. The coffee buzz that’s starting to crash isn’t helping my mood. Since my luck is total shit, my key isn’t working. I try to jiggle the lock at the same time as I shove my shoulder against the door, since that sometimes works, but to no prevail.

I throw my head back, squeeze my eyes shut, and silently count to ten. I’m too tired for this shit. 

Pulling my phone out, I call my landlord. The asshole that owns this shitty prewar apartment building almost never answers his phone, always making you leave a message, and it’s rare that he responds to anything - even things like the heat breaking in the middle of winter - within the first 24 hours. 

Still, I hope. 

Then I get his voicemail. 

Through gritted teeth, I tell him that the door is jammed - for the fourth time this month - and that I’m going to end up breaking a damn window if he doesn’t show up soon, because it’s the week of final exams and I need sleep. 

Just as I’m stuffing my phone in my pocket and about to start working on this door again, a loud engine revs behind me. It’s combined with music so loud it thrums inside my chest and a chorus of guys laughing like children. I don’t even have to turn around to know who it is.

Sure enough, “Heeeyy!! Cat guy!” is shouted at me from above the rest of the noise. I tense up and begin to frantically throw myself against the door. The car leaves and the music and laughter fades, leaving me with a silence that I know won't last long. 

“Cat Guy! Wha’s happenin’ man?” he slurs, shouting even though he's right next to me now. 

I turn around to look at him, completely unimpressed. The thing that bothers me the most about my neighbor is how unfairly attractive he is. He's one of those men who literally take your breath away, which pisses me off because I'm a control freak and don't get flustered easily, so my body's response to his bright green eyes and thick eye lashes and tall, muscular body and freckles and worn leather jacket and big hands that cradle his cigarettes so gently that I sometimes wonder what it would feel like if it were me he- anyway - point is, I hate how much my body wants him when I, in fact, do not. 

I don’t even know the man’s name, but I know that he lives in apartment 8, he smokes an awful lot, drinks heavily but only on the weekends and special occasions, and the first day I moved into apartment 7, he caught me in my boxers chasing my cat down the hall. Somehow Mr. Fluffers had figured out how to open the goddamn door. Hence him calling me ‘Cat Guy’ even though it's been four months since that terribly embarrassing day. 

“What's up?” he asks again, either not noticing that I'm not in the mood to talk, or not caring. 

“The lock is jammed.”

“Ah man. That sucks.” He slumps down on the staircase and takes out a cigarette. I watch him as he lights it, takes a drag, releases the smoke, then smiles up at the night sky. I get the feeling he doesn't think this sucks. Not as much as I do at least. 

I stare at him, watching as he casually flicks the ashes off the end of his cigarette. My annoyance gets the best of me and I snap, “How are you so huge and muscular and in shape when you smoke like a fucking chimney.”

He raises one eyebrow, his lips tilting into a smirk. He puts the cigarette out and stands up so that he’s towering over me. I immediately regret saying anything at all. “Well, I’m huge because I was born that way. You think this is bad? I’m only 6’2. My brother’s 6’6. And I’m in shape and muscular because I work out. And I don’t smoke like a fuckin’ chimney. In fact, I don’t smoke very often at all.”

“Almost every time I see you, you’re outside smoking.”

“You ever think that maybe it’s just an excuse to be sitting here when the cute nerd just happens to come home? Usually at the same time every day because he sticks to a routine and is a control freak?”

I open my mouth in shock, then quickly slam it shut. Not knowing what to say, I just turn back to the door, slamming myself against it again. He chuckles under his breath and sits back down in his spot, pulling out a new cigarette. He lights it, takes a drag, puffs out the smoke, and smiles again. It's endearing and I hate him even more because of it. 

I squint out into the dark parking lot of our complex. It’s a small building, just ten units inside, and it’s quiet this late at night. No one around to help. And it doesn't look like apartment 8 wants to help, either. 

With a new wave of determination, I start back on the door. I get down on eye level with the lock and try to wiggle my key slowly inside it, hoping to jostle something free. I don't even know if that's how it works, but it sounds right. 

As if we're friends, he asks, “So, what are you up to on this fine evening?”

I look over my shoulder at him like he's insane. “Trying to get into my fucking apartment.”

“Right. Yes. Of course. I suppose I meant, what were you doing on this fine evening before coming home to find the door jammed.”

“Studying,” I grunt, getting pissed off enough to pull my hand back and slap the door a few times. It does absolutely nothing, but it's a nice release of anger. 

He whistles low and says, “Damn. Do that again.”

“Why? It didn't help anything.”

“No, but I enjoyed it.” When I just roll my eyes and go back to pressing my shoulder against the door, trying to push against it, he asks, “Studying for what?”

“Jesus Christ,” I whisper under my breath, both at the door and at him. 

“You were studyin’ Jesus Christ? Huh. Funny. I didn't peg ya for one of those. Not that there's anything wrong with bible bangers. It's just, like, when I pictured Cat Guy's life, it was never like oh yeah I bet that guy bangs bibles.”

“I am not a bible banger. I was studying Anatomy and Physiology for my final exam tomorrow.” I growl and slap the door again. “And my name is Castiel. Not Cat Guy.”

“Castiel,” he says slowly, testing it on his tongue. Or, at least, trying to. He's slurring too much and butchers it. With a huff, he states, “‘M jus’ gonna call ya Cas.”

“Fine.”

“I'm Dean.”

“Hi.”

“Hi.” When I don't continue the conversation, he chuckles. “So, Cas, how’s Mr. Fluffers?”

My face heats up and I know it must be beat red. I deflect, trying to embarrass him instead. “What kind of person finds out their neighbor’s cat's name before their actual neighbor’s name?”

“The kind who witnessed said neighbor sprinting after a white puff of fur in nothin’ but Star Wars boxers screaming, ‘Mr. Fluffers! Get back here this instant!’ Mr. Fluffers wasn't exactly calling your name back, so it was a lopsided informational session.” 

I just stare at him. He talks fast, especially for a drunk guy, and he’s funny. I have to fight myself so I don’t smile at him because smiling will only encourage his behavior. After clearing my throat twice to make sure it comes out normal, I say, “They weren't Star Wars.”

“Oh yes they were.” He winks at me and shifts so he can pull his shirt up and a corner of his jeans down. “Don't worry. See? Batman. No judgement here.” 

“Oh, lord. Please don’t show me your underwear.” 

He laughs. “I like you, Cas.”

“You barely know me.”

“I should know you, though. I think knowing you is a great idea.” 

Feeling my face flush, I focus back on the door. I slam my shoulder against it a few times, grabbing the knob and giving it shaken-knob-syndrome from how hard I twist and jiggle it. 

Nothing. 

He spreads his arms out, gesturing to the space around us. “This is fun. Being locked out together. We should hang out more.”

With a laugh, I slump down against the door and look at him. “Your definition of fun and mine are very different.”

“What’s your definition of fun?”

“Honestly?”

“I mean, we've already discussed our underwear. Might as well.”

This makes me smile. A real, genuine smile. I'm not sure the last time I've done that. So, I tell him the truth. Because, like he said, he's seen me running down a hall in Stars Wars underwear, yelling at a kitten named Mr. Fluffers. It can't get much worse. 

“I like going to museums and the art gallery. Book stores. Coffee. Bingeing Netflix. Kayaking. Um,” I pause, trying to think. He waits patiently with his head tilted slightly, like he's genuinely interested. That makes me blush again, so I stare at my hands and continue. “So I'm not a writer or very creative or anything but I love going to like poetry readings and slam poem contests and open mics. I’m a logical thinker, not an artist, but it fascinates me to see people who are.”

“Hmm.” His smile is full of secrets and amusement as he turns his chin to look out at the parking lot. It makes me nervous, my belly doing flips, so I hurry back to my feet and start in on the door again. He watches with his head tilted like he’s studying me, the smile on his face growing. 

“Try a kick. Try… kicking it,” he suggests, waving his hand in the general direction of the door. 

He’s still grinning like he knows something I don’t, and between that and my embarrassment that I actually told him the truth about the things I enjoy and he pretty much ignored them, I’m angry enough to actually listen. I take two steps back and donkey kick the door. 

It does absolutely nothing. 

Other than impress him.

“Wow.” He clears his throat, his smile slipping into a look of amazement and confusion. “More torque… than I expected. You’ve got a surprising, uh, torque to size ratio.”

“Thanks,” I mumble, falling back down beside him and burying my face in my hands. 

“No, Cas, I mean it. Like… you gotta tell me where ya learned that. That was badass, man.”

I snort. “It didn’t open.”

“Well, no,” he stands up, crushing a cigarette beneath his boot and wiping his hands on his jeans. “That’s because you didn’t kick in the right spot.”

Before I can ask him what he means, he’s taking two steps back and lifting his leg, kicking it out. His boot slams against the wood near the doorknob and the thing breaks apart. I stand there staring in amazement while he nudges the bottom of the door with his toe, making it swing the rest of the way open. 

He crosses his arms over his chest, resting a shoulder on the doorframe and leaning against it. The smirk on his face, combined with how turned on I am by watching him actually kick down a door, makes me want to lunge forward and kiss him silly. 

“How the hell?” I ask when my voice finally returns. 

“You first.”

I roll my eyes. “Look at me. I’m a twink. My dad put me in kickboxing when he realized I wasn’t going to grow much more than this.”

The way his eyes flash makes me blush, the realization that I just used gay slang to describe my body type making me want to disappear. 

“Funny,” he says in a low voice, pushing off the doorframe so he’s no longer blocking the entrance. 

Shoving my hands in my pockets to hide that they’re shaking, I walk past him and into the apartment building with my eyes focused on the floor. “What’s funny?” I ask, attempting to sound nonchalant and miserably failing. 

Two hands settle on my waist, heavy and warm, as his front presses into my back. I shiver when he whispers against the shell of my right ear, “Twinks are just my type. Especially nerdy ones who like open mics and have mischievous cats and wear Star Wars boxers.”

I sink into his hold, thankful he’s behind me so he can’t see the stupid grin glued to my face. “Funny.”

“What’s funny?” he asks in a teasing voice, playing along. 

“I fit that description perfectly.”

“No way!” he gasps, then turns me around so he can look in my eyes. “You know what this means, right?”

Honestly having no idea, I shake my head at him and shrug. “What?”

He licks his lips slowly, giving me time to track his tongue as it travels. When he pulls his tongue in, his upper teeth ever so slightly pull at his full bottom lip before letting go. Then his mouth turns into the most amazing smile I think I’ve ever seen. “When we fall madly in love with each other and decide to move in, we’re getting the fuck out of this shitty apartment building.”

The words surprise me, making me throw my head back from the force of my laughter. When I finally calm down, wiping my face clean of a few stray tears, I nod and say breathlessly, “Sounds like a deal.”

“Cool.” He grabs my hand and pulls me along, heading toward our adjacent doors. “First date is tomorrow. I’m playing the open mic at Blue’s Cafe. 9 o’clock.”

My heart lurches and I nearly swoon. “What do you play?”

“Guitar. And I sing.” He looks over his shoulder, shooting me a wink. “You have no chance, Cat Guy. Prepare to fall hard.”

For the first, and probably only, time, I’m thankful for my shitty landlord and his apartment’s jammed lock. 

[alienshea]

And now, for no absolute reason, I will give every Gorillaz song from the main 6 studio albums my rating from 1-10

Self-Titled

Re-Hash: 7.5/10

Bopping tune, 2D doing his own backup vocals make me swoon, Noodle is great as always, no one really knows what the lyrics are but they’re valid

5/4: 6/10

Better than average,not the best song i’ve ever heard but still pretty good, kinda uncomfy with Noodle screaming about someone turning her dad on, drumbeat makes me wanna dance, wished they couldve made the music video

Tomorrow Comes Today: 7/10

The kind of song that gets stuck in your head all day, love the overall sad tone, music video makes me laugh now bc that one murdoc gif, makes me cry when i have depressive episodes

New Genius (Brother): 7.5/10

Love 2D’s voice in it, lyrics hit home a little bit for me, have never skipped this song tbh, overall pretty good song

Clint Eastwood: 8.5/10

I literally know all the words, I love the rap, iconic, there’s a reason it’s popular, Del is everything

Man Research (Clapper): 3/10

oooo boy i’m gonna get shit for this one, i always skip this song, i can’t stand the whole “yeah yeah” thing, the only great part about this song is the “tHiS Is a bReAkFaSt ClUuUuuUB!”

Punk: 6.5/10

gets me turnt, toooooo short, tbh i like any song where 2D yells

Sound Check (Gravity): 9/10

looooove this song, gives me body chills when the drums kick in, love the deep ass voice, overall emo kid bop

Double Bass: 8/10

nice jam, I like listening to this when I do homework or art, relaxing

Rock The House: 8/10

legit makes me get up and dance, great rhythm, music video is beautiful

19/2000: 9/10

amazing bop, gets me pumped, iconic af, first gorillaz song i ever heard and first music video i ever saw, n o o d l e

Latin Simone: 7/10

I don’t speak spanish so i cant really sing along, love the feel of it, will listen on repeat, prefer the english version but im biased

Starshine: 6.5/10

idk I don’t really listen to this one, not a bad song i just wouldn’t play it on repeat or actively look for it, i do like the vocals

Slow Country: 8.5/10

love the feeling this song gives me, kinda like im just floating, super chill song to get high to, have never skipped this song, i like the lyrics

M1A1: 8/10

super fun song to sing along with, honestly the best song they couldve ever chosen to start a concert, he   s c r e a m

OVERALL SCORE FOR SELF-TITLED: 7.5 (rounded up)

Demon Days

Last Living Souls: 9/10

absolute favourite song on the album, breakdown gives me chills, constantly changing it’s tune and i love it, the basssss <3

Kids With Guns: 6/10

I love singing the chorus, great song to have in the background, chill af

O Green World: 7.5/10

i love the instrumental of this one, vocals give me chills, kinda wish you could hear the singing more tho

Dirty Harry: 6.5/10

bopping beat, i love the rap part, overall not really the type of song i’d play on repeat but not bad

Feel Good Inc: 8/10

first and foremost the fucking bass of this song is the reason i’m learning bass, chorus gives me chills, kinda overused but i understand

El Manana: 6/10

kind of a meh song for me personally, not a bad one just not the greatest

Every Planet We Reach Is Dead: 9/10

banger, the reason im also learning guitar, vocals are on point, has made me cry before

November Has Come: 7/10

love the chorus, rap is kinda meh for me, i like the beat

All Alone: 5/10

not really a song i listen to, i like the bloopy noises

White Light: 4/10

I always skip this one tbh, better than man research but not by much

DARE: 6.5/10

this song haunts my dreams, its like the best kind of elevator music, on another note you fucking go noodle

Fire Coming Out Of The Monkey’s Head: 7.5/10

I WANNA BE A COWBOY BABY, narrative is really fucking good tho

Don’t Get Lost In Heaven: 8/10

beautiful, usually dont like gospel-esque music but i love this, gives me chills

Demon Days: 6.5/10

not my favourite tbh, meh for me

OVERALL SCORE FOR DEMON DAYS: 6.5 (rounded up)

Plastic Beach

Welcome to the World of the Plastic Beach: 7.5/10

i love snoop dogg, also this song gives me good vibes

White Flag: 5/10

ehhhh not a fan of this one, i usually skip it, i like the orchestra tho

Rhinestones Eyes: 8.5/10

i fucking love this song, great tune great vocals, i never skip it, i even got my boyfriend to start loving this song even tho he doesnt really like gorillaz

Stylo: 9/10

jesus this song, makes my heart hurt, i absoultely long singing along to this, his voiceeeee, bobby womack!

Superfast Jellyfish: 8.5/10

quirky af, i love de la soul in this one a lot, have never skipped this

Empire Ants: 9/10

so beautiful, has made me cry, both of their voices are so soft and lovely ugh

Glitter Freeze: 6/10

starts off strong but when it starts sounding like a drill i usually yeet out

Some Kind Of Nature: 8/10

used to be my favourite until i started listening to the album more, 2d’s part is so soulful omg

On Melancholy Hill: 8.5/10

so sad and amazing, music video is probably my favourite, is me and my best mate’s “song”

Broken: 9/10

ugh beautiful, i know all the words and always sing them loud af, has never skipped this song, honestly is everything

Sweepstakes: 5.5/10

not a big fan, i usually skip this one, not a horrible song just not for me

Plastic Beach: 7.5/10

love it, better at the beginning than the end, still a bop

To Binge: 10/10

WHEEEW BOY, i love this song, its so sad and amazing and gay jesus christ, the best thing murdoc has ever done

Cloud of Unknowing: 7/10

soulful and beautiful, again bobby womack!!

Pirate Jet: 7/10

i love the tune bc it gets me feeling ~spooky~, lyrics dont really make sense but thats okay

OVERALL SCORE FOR PLASTIC BEACH: 7.5 (rounded up)

The Fall

Phoner to Arizona: 8/10

gets me bopping and grooving, great music to play in the background while writing or doing art, my go to for when i draw or need background sound while I relax

Revolving Doors: 9.5/10

OOF, it so sad and it makes me feel things, i scream the lyrics errytime

Hillbilly Man: 10/10

fell in love with this the second I heard it, has been my favourite song of all time for over 2 years now, will never skip it in my life, i yearn to learn the guitar 

 Detroit: 6.5/10

generally a good happy bop, usually play it as background sound

Shy-Town: 6/10

nice to the ear, i don’t really like the prerecorded vocals of 2D but when Damon sung it live it sounds much better

Little Pink Plastic Bags: 8/10

i love it ugh, relaxing af, will never skip

The Joplin Spider: 9/10

big love for this song, its just soooo goooood

The Parish Of Space Dust: 7.5/10

big cowboy energy, sounds so sweet, 2D’s voice is unnnf

The Snake In Dallas: 7/10

good for when you wanna party but you’re depressed and can only stay in bed, love the little robotic sounds

Amarillo: 9.5/10

i meeeean what can i say, this song is so sad and gay and beautiful, ive cried while listening it this, will never skip

The Speak It Mountains: 7.5/10

this track is really weird and creepy and kind of not a song but i adore it anyway

 Aspen Forest: 8/10

beautiful sounds, the piano is so soothing, will play this on repeat while i zone out

Bobby In Phoenix: 9/10

i wanna cry every single time i hear this bobby come back

California and the Slipping of the Sun: 7.5/10

this song so so pretty and i cry every time ugh, he sounds so fed up im sorry pretty boy

Seattle Yodel: ???

what

OVERALL SCORE FOR THE FALL: 8 (rounded down)

Humanz

Ascension: 8.5/10

absolute banger, i get pumped everytime this comes on, skys falling bb

Strobelite: 7.5/10

i used to hate this song but then the music video came out and i tried it again and now i love it dont @ me

Saturnz Barz: 9/10

theres so much i could say about this song ans the mv unf

Momentz: 9/10

banger, i dance like a maniac every time i hear it, will never skip

Submission: 8/10

gives me a good chance to work on high notes, makes my skin tingly

Charger: 8.5/10

2D’s voice is so griity and i can help myself

Andromeda: 8.5/10

I’ve never skipped this song, has made me cry, makes me dance

Busted And Blue: 9/10

has made me cry several times, vocals are everything, will never skip

Carnival: 7/10

is a bop, don’t really listen to it much anymore but it’s alright

Let Me Out: 8/10

i love it, one of my favourites to rap with

Sex Murder Party: 4/10

ehhh dont like this one, i always skip it

She’s My Collar: 8.5/10

i dont want to admit the things 2D’s voice in this makes me wanna do

Hallelujah Money: 7.5/10

hated this at first, grew to love, very soothing

We Got The Power: 9.5/10

gets me FUCKING PUMPED, we do got the power fuckers

OVERALL SCORE FOR HUMANZ: 8.5 (rounded down)

The Now Now

Humility: 8.5/10

summer bop, makes me wanna dance, have never skipped

Tranz: 9.5/10

i love singing along to this bc it makes me feel sexy oops, always screams the lyrics

Hollywood: 7/10

not a huge fan of this but ill listen to it, favourite part is the chorus, also snoop doggy dogg

Kansas: 9/10

oof this song makes me cry, i always scream this 

Sorcererz: 7.5/10

ooo them vocals thooo, makes me relaxed

Idaho: 8.5/10

i love this song sm, one of my favourites of all time to sing, i wanna learn the guitar for this

Lake Zurich: 8/10

I love to listen to this while relaxing or writing, makes me wanna dance, COWBELL

Magic City: 8.5

always dancing to this, billboards on the moooon

Fireflies: 10/10

yall saw this coming, i always cry, its so somber, in close competition w HillBilly Man for my all time favourite

One Percent: 6.5/10

only song on the album i would skip and it isnt even that bad

Souk Eye: 10/10

its so gay and sad i love it sm

OVERALL SCORE FOR THE NOW NOW: 8.5 (rounded up)

So after months of me saying i’d rate the songs in order I finally did! Now keep in my the overall scores are averages, my personal rating for each album is:

Self-Titled: 8/10

Demon Days: 7/10

Plastic Beach: 8.5/10

The Fall: 8/10

Humanz: 7.5/10

The Now Now: 9/10

thanks for reading, i did this so i wouldn’t have to write an essay oops! <3

[pleiadesounds]

Where To Start With,  Pt 1

 This week, Harry Fanshawe from UK noiseniks Modern Rituals acquaints Kai with the inimitable Silver Jews, while Kai in turn shows him the finer points of British post-punk stalwarts Wire. 

  Kai Woolen-Lewis Wire are, for me, one of the great bands in the history of punk music. Whereas a lot of other bands you’d describe as such would subsist largely on folklore and be a calamity if judged on their incarnation in the present moment, Wire however seem to be one of the rare bands who have managed to be both very influential (if you need punk credentials, they were covered by Minor Threat and if you need trendy floppy haircut credentials, they were covered by My Bloody Valentine) and forever forward-thinking - bridging the gap between the pompousness of progressive music and the snarl and brevity of punk, a bridge between what were two ultra-partisan camps. Though they’re contemporaries of elder statesmen of British punk like the Sex Pistols and The Buzzcocks, there’s far more of an art-school vibe to Wire - one gets the impression that they must’ve stood in stark contrast to the image and the attitude of their peers, with cerebral and challenging songs that refused to succumb to the immediate hedonism of the punk music of the time. One gets the impression that they have far more in common with genre outliers like Patti Smith, Pere Ubu and Kraftwerk than with any of their counterparts in the British punk scene. 

 When I first saw them, at the Lexington in London 4 or 5 years ago, they played almost entirely new songs, with only a few songs from their “seminal” LP’s included in the set. Now that the horror of not knowing many of the songs has worn off, it’s a clear sign of their continuously forward-looking approach. With seventeen studio albums and god knows what else in the way of releases, here’s where to start with Wire - despite their huge legacy, absolutely not a legacy act…

 Playing Harp For The Fishes

 KWL Even after decades of churning out consistently stark, highly original songs, Wire still absolutely excel - although lots of their current and recent material is a lot more digestible than in their early years - this, from 2017’s Silver/ Lead is big slow-grooving song which gives an excellent idea of the kind of discomforting experimental noise Wire have always dealt in. A steady rhythm section struggles against all matter of ethereal out of key guitar, weird oscillating noises and throbbing synth lines. Musically and lyrically challenging and abstract without ever feeling overwrought. Sardonic without any hint of bitterness. Dense without even a smidgen of unpalatability. Is it always so? Aye.

Harry Fanshawe Wire for me have always been a band on the periphery of punk history. Not to say that is rightly so, but they're a band that I've seen has being earmarked as integral by the nerdier music fans (I mean that with fondness). Take Joy Division, they formed because they saw the Sex Pistols, but they made something much deeper and more meaningful. My mental placement for Wire has had them alongside the likes of Killing Joke in that history (weirder and less easy to associate with the common idea of 'punk'), and I feel like their evolution has been similar. Like you say this track favours simplicity with the steady beat, allowing a nicely sized canvas to throw as many different colours at, which they do with the layers they chuck on top. That is an approach that I see as being more contemporary of today than the 70s (favouring simplicity and excelling in it has really come back in the last few years). It shows how adaptable this band has been over the decades. 

Lowdown

 KWL Wire’s first album Pink Flag has gone down in music history as one of the seminal British records of the early punk movement, largely down to it’s combination of abrasiveness, melody and brevity. 21 songs in 36 minutes, often fleetingly abrupt, played at breakneck pace and infused with an abstract sense of humour and an art-school sensibility that set them miles apart from their contemporaries. This one, Lowdown, sounds like a soul single on 33rpm; a fascinating disco dirge and highlight of a pretty highlight-heavy first LP.

 HF Right back to the 70s and for me that Crazy Horse vibe is straight in there. This is the THE Wire album. Fight me. Musically, it's a whole different sound to the last song, it's got vibe and groove and all the amazing characteristics of the best 70s bands. Vocally I find it more alike the stuff of the 2010s, though I reckon that's probably debatable! It's obviously got that old school, British punk oi! to it and today they're much calmer. But you can hear it. For anyone who knows Kai and his musical projects of the last few years, this riff is SO Kai.

 Marooned

KWL Here’s an older one - from 1978’s Chairs Missing. The jump between Pink Flag and this in the space of a couple of years is absolutely insane, and the jump from this to the next year’s 154 is also pretty nuts. A highlight on a rich, chilling and unique record of challenging post-punk, Marooned is slow, meandering and awash with oceanic wetness, big synths and sheet glass guitars, with Newman singing about hanging out on a sinking iceberg - both sonically and in terms of sheer epic-ness of scope, it’s closer to Pink Floyd than to any of their genre contemporaries. I put this on at a house party once and the atmosphere nose dived and the whole room just totally explicably got really fucking awkward. Take what you want from that, I guess.

 HF Forward a couple of years and the Pink Floyd sounds are in there, the experimentation is kicking off and yeah we're sat on a soft synth cloud here. It is a massive jump and I love that, I fully dig that 'fuck it who cares what anyone thinks I wanna try that'. I reckon that idea is nicely reflected in your house party play of it. I know that feeling, I did it with Primitive Man myself around a bunch of posh hipsters listening to surf rock in Cornwall. Lasted like less than 2 seconds. Proper wankers. Anyway, point is Kai, it's their loss. The tune slaps.

Map Ref 

KWL By 1980’s 154 - so called because at the point they recorded it, they had played live 154 times - Wire had cemented their place as both stalwarts and genre outliers by following up the seminal Pink Flag with the enormous impenetrable curveball-shaped Chairs Missing. 154 is full of big bangers and awkward, atmospheric synthesiser-led songs - this by the way is one of the big bangers. Lyrically it seems to be a geography nerd gushing about the enormous epic expanses of landscape that make up the American midwest. Before you go look it up, the Map reference is somewhere called Centerville in Iowa or Ohio or something. Map Ref has a chorus I frequently cite alongside “That’s When I Reach for my Revolver” or “The Girl Who Lives on Heaven Hill” as a contender among underground punk rock’s biggest fist-in-the-air choruses.

HF Again, 70s vibes are rife, the energy of the rhythm section just holds it all up so strong. Weirdly, I find his voice sounds loads like Blake Schwarzenbach [Jawbreaker, Jets to Brazil]? Any influence on him there? Who knows. Way more in the way of vocal melody here and the vibe is moving more along the way bands like Talking Heads were at the time. Definitely a banger. Love the lil satirical 'chorus' drop in there. As for landscapes inspiring songs, fuck yeah why should it always be about people? I mean animal rights punk is usually dreadful and dull, let's talk about something inanimate for once.

 Blogging

 KWL Brazen, streamlined and groovy, with a chugging downtuned riff and a glorious uplighting chorus - Blogging showcases Wire’s admirable ability to follow their own pretty standard formula and keep churning out highly original and interesting songs. The lyrics deserve a mention - it’s a hard enough endeavour sometimes for those of us born in the 90s, but if you were in a band that existed in 1976, the current musical landscape must be a pretty soul-destroying place to exist. Actually scrap that. If you were alive at a time when art seemingly meant something or was worth anything, now must be a horrible place to live. “I’m blogging like Jesus/ I tweet like a pope/site traffic heavy/ I’m YouTubing hope” 

 HF Totally agree Kai. Today is a fucking terrible time to be alive if you're interested in anything related to the notion of 'art'. It's all been rehashed and overdone. It's everywhere to be seen and no longer has a sacred place. It's been abused and overused for petulant causes. Everyone's a fucking artist and that's killed the concept. Can't believe how much this reminds me of Jets to Brazil, why!? I suppose we can forget about the present if we stick to Wire's back catalogue.

Circumspect

KWL A product of extensive periods of down-time on their part, which saw the members working on other projects - Colin Newman’s Githead in particular is worth a mention - 2008’s Object 47, so called because it’s the 47th Object in their back catalogue - is a really great record and a hidden gem in Wire’s back catalogue for me. Dispensing with the distortion and the abrasion, Wire made a record of sparse, infectious guitar-based songs that you can really lose yourself in, and this is one of the songs in which I have most frequently lost myself. A slow circular guitar arpeggio, laid-back drums and lush vocals result in an almost Manchester-esque slow disco pills-thrills-and-bellyache vibe - this is Wire at their most hypnotic and enjoyable. 

 HF Slowcore Wire! Yeah this is one of my favourites from this list. Having time away from something can let you come back to it without as much creative control or care, and refreshing your image of what the thing is in the first place. Step away, come back more naturally. This is softer, but it's still as weird as anything else they made in the last 20 years. Pretty banging video too, mind. It feels like you're in one of those dreams where you try and run but you got sandbags on your feet. But in this one, it's Drew Barrymore from Donny Darko and she's apathetic as fuck.

Bad Worn Thing

KWL Their first album properly “back” after a period of sporadic activity through the 2000s, Red Barked Tree is the sound of a band of fifty-somethings consistently at peace with the idea of re-defining what their band IS, without at any point ever stepping on the toes of their older selves. Another album highlight (with acoustic guitars) Adapt, sums it up pretty nicely. "Go east / Go north / Go south / Go west / Leave mouths open / With your best / Adapt to change / Stay unimpressed”. Bad Worn Thing finds the band both tapping into 2000s alternative music and subjecting it totally to their musical and lyrical interpretations. An upbeat, undeniably British-feeling slice of sauntering pop, one that makes me feel like I’m taking an afternoon walk through a British urban landscape to the shop on the first sunny day in weeks - all while giving a pretty caustic account of Britain’s ongoing relationship with its past and by implication, it’s future. “Follow me, no explanation/ the future sold the chancellor paces/ the growing pains associated with a past that no-one faces.”

 HF This feels so much more British than much of what we've had from them on this list so far. This is Britpop Wire. Dam right they sound like they're back, they have something new to say, they're older and more jaded, but they still have something to say. I love the 'overcrowded nature of things' repetition. Like they've come back to this messy DIY music thing and it's a fucking full house. So you gotta build your own. Mind you, I'd say Wire have always lived in the garage.

Used To

KWL Another huge cut from Chairs Missing - and a perfect example of what critic Simon Reynolds called Wire’s “strange clockwork geometry” - a blissful piece of post-punk psychedelia and definitely one of the climaxes of a record that enjoys an embarrassment of rich, blissed out moments. I would definitely cite Wire’s work in this period as proof of the utter compatibility of the experimental, expansive, forward thinking music of the 60s and 70s and the abrasiveness and brevity of punk. Indeed, it sounds like bullshit now, but the same A+R man who signed Pink Floyd and the Sex Pistols was responsible for EMI’s acquisition of the band while they were still in their infancy. For me, basically everything that made the years 1976-1979 so exciting and vital in the history of unpopular music is represented in this album, whether it be this, the Beatles-on-glue vibes of ‘I am the Fly’ or the aggressive minimalism of ‘Being Sucked in Again’, the album just gives and gives and gives. An absolute classic.

 HF Very pleased we went back to this to close. Absolutely loving the post-punk psychedelia tag on this baby. Again, everything you say above that I hear in this record is their observant nature as a band to look back at the twenty years before them and incorporate what's important, what's wrong, what's right and the relationship of all that against their own stronghold. It reinforces their importance and their place in all of this. Not everyone, hardly anyone, has the ability to be the originator of something whilst being so observant (the latter being one of the most troubling things for humankind) at the same time. A perfect place to end with Wire: it repeats, it talks, it stays with you for a moment and then it's gone. Thanks Kai.

 Silver Jews

Harry Fanshawe Like many of us, my summer last year was consumed by the release of David Berman's new album under the 'Purple Mountains' moniker and then his sudden death. I'm sure many of us also went back through his entire catalogue once we'd exhausted our ears of his latest and last offering. Silver Jews have always been a standout band for me, usually sitting with things like Leonard Cohen or the Velvet Underground in my poor attempts at genre categorising. 

What's always stood out to me in this way, making it something I've struggled to place with more contemporary artists, is the looseness in the music and the corresponding looseness in its lines between music and prose. Like Leonard or Lou, SJ have a truly unique way of delivering and intertwining music and meaning. Where the new Purple Mountains record is much more polished in its production, my fondness for the old Silver Jews records has always been like that of an old, familiar room; their rusty structures and broken floorboards bring with them more character and heart than any solid new build could and, given last summer’s events, it now holds a very special place in my heart.

KWL I remembered having heard about David Berman’s suicide because many of my most misanthropic and refined friends had been especially despondent about it - it seems I missed the boat on that particular opportunity to be saddened by the loss of a great artist, so having this opportunity to go back and be able posthumously introduced to him has been a strange experience - cool that Harry and I have these different perspectives on his work and death…like reading a sentence with a full stop at the end, or something.

 Albermarle Station

HF A tender country offering inhabited by old ghosts, broken bridges and ivy covered screens. This song always reminded me of travel, of the lingering memories from recent events in recent places bouncing around the mind after an experience somewhere with people. All whilst anticipating the next destination. There's a train station near my parents’ house and as a teenager I used to travel from it a lot to see friends. That place hasn't changed at all in the 15 years since, and the rare occasions I go there now just bring back all of it; all the old ghosts while I sit and wait near the ivy covered screens and the rickety old bridge.Travel is a time that allows for rumination and retreat, and that can be savoured in all of its broken glory. 

KWL A surprising first listen - I’m not sure exactly what I expected, maybe something a bit glossier and more upbeat, but this is great - ramshackle, melodic and with lyrics that will take a million listens. It sort of reminds me of Red House Painters but with wit, self-deprecation and genuine insight in place of abrasiveness and machismo. Berman is a prepossessing and fascinating figure in light of his suicide, I should imagine before just as much and also considering the esteem in which a lot of people held and hold him. Maybe you led me there but this song definitely feels like they have a foot in the past, in those old, deserted spaces you pass through on the way somewhere.

 New Orleans

 HF From that slightly out of tune guitar at the start to the doubled up lazy groans about the trouble in the stairs; to me this song is the dusty corner of an old house, the gold in the cellar, and it's not the house you think it is. Keeping up with a nostalgic line of thinking, this track captures the 'otherness' of the past, the distance it eventually takes, even when it can be so well set in stone by old artefacts and rooms. It beholds the length of reflective nights and the depth of their texture. Trapped inside the song where the night's are so long, we count sheep to find soothing sleep. An early banger from Berman.

 KWL This is also great - there’s something hugely admirable about a song being able to be this rickety and cobbled-together-sounding while still being so evocative. It’s like, they could probably have recorded it without the out of key guitar lines or the drums losing the beat, but they didn’t - and there’s beauty in the imperfection. The song has that ‘On The Beach’ feeling of the end of a long, drunken night, when the ash-tray is full and the kitchen needs tidying before bed. But you’ll do it in the morning.

Tennessee

 HF Clearly a trend is setting in here: the slowest country SJ numbers titled by places. Aside from the obviously amazing play on the title word in the chorus, this love song has some of the best one-liners as far as I'm concerned. Here's one: 'Punk rock died when the first kid said "Punk's not dead, punk's not dead”'. Here's my favourite: 'We're off to the land of hot middle-aged women'. Is this an optimistic look to a future with a spouse? As far as I care to know, the whole song is. Punk may be dead but love isn’t.

 KWL I always knew you had a type, Harry. Another piece of rickety out of tune folk-country storytelling that somehow plays with superficiality and reaches into the darkest depths at the same time. A bit of cutesy word-play and a really lovely key change in the middle of the song - this is actually going really well, isn’t it. I’m guessing the lady singing is Berman’s wife, just because the whole atmosphere just feels very close and personable - listening to these songs of Berman being in love and happy and stuff is startling in this current context. A great song.

Sleeping is the Only Love

 HF What's that? Another love song? Maybe! As blurred as it seems deliberately to be about loving someone and how incredible a good night's sleep is. As someone who troubles with sleep, I can agree that there are times when I would crawl over broken glass and hot coals to make it to sleep. I also love the reflection from that onto the peace had with a good functioning relationship with someone you love. Sleep and love intertwined.

 KWL All these love songs have taken on a very strange overtone, now. This one has somewhere in it a snapshot of Berman and his wife settling down to the quiet life in Nashville - it’s all pretty beautiful, and it’s very impressive to go about making so intricate a love song about something as banal as sleep. I think there’s a snapshot here of the kind of intimacy that goes beyond the sexual - where somehow sleeping next to someone is the most intimate thing of all - the rolling over, the arms going to sleep, the waking up, the bad breath. The real deal.

 Punks in the Beerlight

 HF A song for the addicts! After a hot summers day, what better than the transcendence found in the cooling of a beautiful summers night? How could you make that even better? I guess you could smoke the gel off a fentanyl patch? This song is for a long summer night where you can go and run away into the night with a friend, find the nicest, deadest park around and watch that sun go down. And what comes after we exhaust our routes for escape? Let's not kid ourselves. It gets really really bad. Gotta love that 80s glam section after the first chorus too.

 KWL Ok, so I feel I need to state here that Harry’s article has sent me down a deep rabbit hole of SJ/David Berman appreciation. It’s strange to find him here, at this point and I just wonder what it would have been like to have been like “I hope David Berman’s doing okay” at random intervals in life. This is easily the most conventionally beautiful song on the list so far and somehow it examines some of the darkest corners of the human experience. It reminds me of the beauty of being in love - all other markers fade into unimportance, rendering the rich paupers and the poor rich beyond dreams, together; a beautiful juxtaposition, part love song, part junkie memoir.

 Advice to the Graduate

 HF 'Your third drink will lead you astray.' Let's follow on from the last theme. 'So you've got no friends and you wander through the night. And now you watch the sunrise through a rifle-sight'. This song speaks for itself.

 KWL This song seems to be quite strongly advocating the “school of life” diploma - that when you finish all the arbitrary self-building, that there’s a big wide world to step out into that’s all misery and addiction and what’s your deep critical analysis of Edgar Rice Burroughs going to do for you then? It sounds so slack, a borderline The Shaggs influence - Berman said that all of his favourite singers couldn’t sing, and it doesn’t sound like he or his backing band was much better. A genuine advert for keeping the musicians out of music…

K-Hole

 HF I've never understood the appeal of a K-Hole, I suppose that DB doesn't either, since he compares it to the feeling of being left alone. Though he does still reserve his fondness for booze as a trustworthy fallback during tough times. Perhaps that's it; it can go too far. I love the string arrangements in this song, it feels outback and rural, the lyrics appeal to that sense of dusty distance too.

 KWL I have a real soft spot in my heart for when the music of a song seems to run in tandem with its lyrical content, and I must say lots of the instrumental here feels like an out of body hallucination of a country song - large swathes of the song feel like Alice in Wonderland or that first Pink Floyd record that sounds like a Kaleidoscopic Circus.  

Dallas

 HF You know the way a city can change completely in character when night hits. When all the blazing sunlight lifts and leaves you with the purity of a place. It's like a deep breath of fresh air after a heavy day, you can feel your spirits lift as the weight peels away. This is a great, simple example of DB, highlighted best in the last lines: 'Poor as a mouse every morning, rich as a cat every night, Some kind of strange magic happens, when the city turns on her lights’.

 KWL The lyrics to this really grabbed me too - but not so much in respect of the city at night, but the string of non-sequiturs that pepper the song, something that DB is obviously really great at - painting those little pictures. There’s the bit about his shrink’s former NFL career, the eroticism of CPR, “our record just went aluminium” - all absolutely amazing. I’ve heard hundreds of songs about hundreds of places, but they never came as unique or as vivid as this.

 I Remember Me

 HF Another example of being a sucker for the whimsical. 'I remember you and I remember me': through the years you can lose the old parts of yourself. When you're in a relationship these losses double, and when you look back in your 'now' state to the person you were right back at the beginning, and the person they were, it makes you appreciate the whimsical and the romantic because they are so short-lived and random. Even though you change through those years, that change enables each quirk and trait that you might look back on and miss. So soak it up while it's there lest you regret its disappearance. In this story, the characters end up apart, but whether or not you do, know that even if you are still together, parts of you can always remain apart.

 KWL This is the best song on the list, for me - absolutely gorgeous and very very moving indeed. Somehow, Berman manages to sum up in his songs and in his writing that life is a huge collection of these tiny tiny moments, and maybe if we looked more closely at the tiny moments, the enormousness of life might not seem so terrifying. A sort of temporal looking after the pennies, so to speak. This one screams “don’t wait for the perfect moment, it’s now”. 

How to Rent a Room

 HF A great ender for this list. 'I want to wander through the night as a figure in the distance even to my own eye'. 'No I don't really want to die. I only want to die in your eyes'. If only…

 KWL Further research into the life of DB has directed me towards the fact that his father represents the worst of the worst of the American Republican corporate lobbying parasite - against environmental protections, the minimum wage, health warnings on tobacco, labour rights and trade regulations, to name just a few, and whose son Berman seemed ashamed to be. I just looked through the lyrics to this and they genuinely seem to be a letter to his dad, who he called “a despicable man … [a] human molestor … an exploiter … a scoundrel” saying “I’d rather be dead than your son.” 

 Thanks for this Harry, it’s been a real pleasure and a great introduction to a fascinating man and his band. May he rest in peace.

For the full playlist, click here