#anyways I'm only mentioning that because I will forever and always be proud of that moment. ur looking at the king of comedy | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

luxaryllis · 1 year

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hi!! if you're accepting requests rn could you pls write just pure angst of azul with a younger sibling who he was super close to before, but when their parents got divorced they grew distant bc the sibling went to live with their dad instead of with him and his mom. then a few years later sibling ends up attending nrc and azul recognizes them and is excited to talk to them again only to discover that they're not the same as before.

rlly loved your scared younger sibling fics. they gave me chest pains bc of how damn sad they were. keep up the good work :)

Brother Knows Best

Note: OMG!! What is this!? I, Lux, FINALLY finishing something and posting it?! Has a miracle truly happened?!

Anyway, I'll just write the sibling of this one as a year younger than Azul, and the sibling was also be an octopus merfolk. I'm going to mention the reader having interests in some stuff, so please don't get offended if it doesn't apply to you. You can always just replace the traits I put as a trait of yours!

And imma just use Ashengrotto as the family name, cuz idk if Ashengrotto was the last name of Azul's bio father, or step-father, or the maiden name of his mother.

Warning/s: Parents divorcing, Split custody, Angst, Spoilers to Azul's backstory and past, Spoilers to Azul's Ceremonial Robes vignettes, Reader is mentioned to have somewhat similar features to Azul (specific features aren't specified), Tell me if I missed anything

Full post under the cut!

-----

"Big brother! Why are you crying?" A slightly smaller mer-octopus swam closer with a concerned expression.

Azul, who was hiding in an octopus pot, looked up to his sweet and innocent little sibling. The 7-year-old boy's eyes soften, and Azul knew that it was only a matter of time before his baby sibling, [Name], would go through all the bullying and teasing as well.

But Azul didn't want that. He wanted [Name]'s cute smile to last forever. He wanted [Name] to not have to see and experience the horrors of simply being themself. He wanted to protect [Name] from everything and everyone who dared hurt them.

Azul's heart squeezed in his chest as he realizes that he can't. He can't protect [Name]. Azul couldn't even protect himself! He truly was... a weak, dumb, slow little octopus...

Tormented by his thoughts, Azul continued sobbing, hiding further into the octopus pot, hiding his chubby face from his little sibling.

"Don't look at me!!" Azul cries out, accidentally spitting out ink from his tentacles, staining the waters around them. The mess caused Azul to cry even more, the ugly black liquids reminding him of what the other kids told him.

[Name] frowns softly, they didn't know why their big brother was upset. The younger mer-octopus moves closer to the octo-pot, trying to coax their older brother to come out.

"Zul-ie.. what's wrong? I don't like seeing you sad..."

Upon receiving no response, the younger child purses their lips in a pout.

"Come onnn...! Mom and dad made dinner! They made fried chicken! Your favorite!!"

---

"Big brother!! Look, look! Wanna hear this song I learned on the piano?!"

Piano keys played a gorgeous melody under [Name]'s fingers, and Azul watched with wide eyes full of wonder and pride. Azul felt a small sense of envy in him, but he couldn't find it in himself to acknowledge the jealousy, because Azul was too proud of his younger sibling to do that.

And yet...

As [Name] learned more and more, Azul couldn't help but feel... left behind.

As though [Name] doesn't need him anymore.

But... but that isn't true right? [Name] needs Azul... right...?

As days and years pass by, nagging feelings of envy and worthlessness bubble up in Azul as he watches his sibling shine.

'I should be proud of them,' he thinks to himself as his mind wanders while he was studying.

---

'Mom and dad don't love each other anymore...'

Those were the thoughts in the two siblings' heads while they listened to their parents argue for what felt like the umpteenth time. And today, it seemed as though everyone in the house had finally had enough of the screams and shouts.

Around a month or so later, the Ashengrotto family were in court, for a divorce trial. It was a somewhat long process, but the judge's words hit the two children like a truck.

"Mrs. Ashengrotto is to be given custody over Azul Ashengrotto. Whilst Mr. Ashengrotto is to be given custody over [Name] Ashengrotto."

When the Ashengrotto family split up, Azul and [Name] were desperately trying to stay together. It went to the point that their parents had to pull the crying siblings apart because [Name] and their father had to leave.

"Big brother!!! NO!!"

"[Name]!!! Don't leave me please!!"

---

"DON'T LEAVE ME!!"

Azul wakes up with a start, sitting up from the bed with wide eyes and heavy breathing. His hair was frazzled in a bedhead, and he quickly looks around.

The Octavinelle Dorm Leader recognizes his dorm room, and breathes a sigh. Not one of relief, but one of exhaustion. Azul reaches to his bedside table and takes his glasses, putting them on as he checks the clock. 5 am.

Next to the clock, Azul sees the small picture he placed. A family picture of him, his mother, his father, and his younger sibling. It was taken before his parents had divorced. When they were all happy...

Azul stares at his younger sibling in the picture, yearning to see them again. He reaches out a bit, but stops himself and shakes his head. 'Now is not the time', he thinks to himself. He shakily stands up and starts getting ready for the welcoming ceremony of the new first years of NRC.

Azul leaves the room and passes by Jade and Floyd's shared room. The house-warden could hear Floyd's complaining through the door and he sighs, knocking on the door and speaking.

"Floyd, would you stop complaining? Jade and I have to get ready for the Welcoming Ceremony, and you and the others have to start preparing for the welcome party for our new first years."

Almost immediately, Floyd replies with a slight whiney tone. "Says the person who wasn't wrung out like a rag for some lotion! I can barely walk!!" Azul could almost hear the pout in Floyd's voice and sighs in exasperation, listening to Jade trying to calm his brother down.

Deciding to leave the twin eels alone, Azul starts to walk away and head to the Lounge to make sure the preparations are going smoothly. As he walked, his mind can't help but wander to thoughts like if he and his own younger sibling would have a similar dynamic to Jade and Floyd. Hm, or would their dynamic be more like Idia's and Ortho's? Likely not, perhaps.

These thoughts weighed in Azul's mind, and he feels himself shaking his head, trying to rid himself of those thoughts. He hasn't seen his younger sibling for a long time; but Azul certainly hopes that [Name] didn't have such a drastic change like he did.

For some reason, Azul couldn't bear the thought of his previously happy-go-lucky and outgoing [Name] to be anything else other than such a happy mer-octopus. It was wishful thinking, but what kind of older brother would he be if he didn't wish only the best for his younger sibling?

---

When the time came for the Welcoming Ceremony to begin, the Housewardens (exceot for Malleus Draconia, who likely didn't receive the invitation, Azul thinks) were all lined in a circle surrounding the mirror, waiting for students to be sorted into their own dorms.

As each student was being sorted to their dorms, Azul takes the time to look at each student that seemed to catch his attention. None seemed very relevant thus far, maybe a few people he could exploit here and there.

"Next student!"

A student dressed in the NRC Ceremonial Robes stepped out of the crowd of the unsorted first-years. Their hood was on and casting a shadow down their face as they walked towards the mirror.

"State thy name." The mirror said when the student stepped up.

Suddenly, the student spoke a name that ran a shiver down Azul's spine. A name that Azul never thought he would hear no matter how much he wished to hear.

"[Name] Ashengrotto."

Jade raised an eyebrow and turned to Azul curiously, and some other students who recognized the last name also snuck some glances to the Octavinelle Dormleader. Azul could vaguely hear Idia's voice through the floating tablet, saying things like, 'Plot twist?!', but he paid no heed to it.

Azul's eyes were wide, and his mouth was lightly agape in surprise. His younger sibling... studying in NRC?!?

Questions ran through Azul's head in that moment. How is his younger sibling doing? Do they still like to play the piano? Or perhaps they still continued collecting those sea shells? Did [Name] still want to be a singer when they grew up? Do they still enjoy chasing their tentacles like a dog liked chasing its tail? Do they still have that same smile they always did; the one that brightened any room they were in and made their eyes glimmer like the stars land-folk liked to gaze at?

The Dark Mirror spoke again, "The shape of they soul is..."

Azul was beside himself with worry and anticipation. What dorm would his younger sibling be sorted into?

'Octavinelle, Octavinelle, Octavinelle', Azul chanted in his head, hoping for the Dark Mirror to sort [Name] in the dorm he was in.

"... Octavinelle!"

It took almost everything in Azul not to let out a sigh of relief, but he was celebrating in his mind. Suddenly remembering that he was the Dorm Leader of Octavinelle, he stepped up and made himself known to his beloved younger sibling.

Azul mustered up an amicable smile (and those who knew him were rather surprised at how genuine Azul's smile looked), and spoke. "Welcome to Octavinelle, right this way please."

[Name], not having realized who the person underneathe the hood was, nodded and walked to the crowd of Octavinelle students, waiting for the Welcoming Ceremony to be over.

---

After a rather tiring Welcoming Ceremony, with an entire fire getting started by a racoon-cat-monster named Grim, all the students (save for that one student who couldn't get sorted to a dorm) were allowed to leave and go back to their respective dorms.

The Octavinelle first-years were granted a delicious meal and celebration, and were all briefed on their duties in the Mostro Lounge. The entire time, Azul kept sneaking glances at [Name], which wasn't really left unnoticed by the twins or by [Name] themself.

Azul eventually mustered up the courage to approach his younger sibling and struck up a conversation.

"[Name], it's very nice to see you..! I'm Azul, remember? Your older brother?" Azul's voice was one of slight anxiety, did [Name] eveb remember him? It has been a while since they last even heard from each other..

[Name] turns to look at Azul and nods a bit, smiling a little. "Ah, right. It's so nice to see you again, Zulie."

Being referred to his favorite childhood nickname made Azul smile softly, but he couldn't shake off the surprise at seeing the change of demeanor in [Name]. Back when they were younger, [Name] was much more outgoing and enthusiastic compared to this [Name], who seemed to want to curl up in a ball when someone else tried making conversation with them.

Not even their smile fully reached their eyes anymore. Just what had happened to his beloved younger sibling in the time he was gone?

Internally hoping that his younger sibling hadn't changed too much, Azul tried to continue the conversation. "Ah, do you.. still play the piano?"

[Name] shook their head and smiled a little sheepishly in reply. "Oh, no I don't anymore. Atleast, not as often as before. I still play it occasionally, but I don't exactly find it as fun now."

"What about collecting sea shells? Surely, you still find that enjoyable?"

"Dad and I lived in a more colder part of the ocean, and there weren't a lot of sea shells to collect. So, no, not really."

"Ahh, I see... what do you like doing nowadays, then, [Name]?"

"Oh, well..." [Name] then proceeds to tell their older brother of their interests; though most (if not all) the things the younger Ashengrotto listed were things Azul weren't very interested in.

Regardless, Azul nods in understanding, trying not to mind how much his sibling had changed.

The next few weeks after that, Azul had found it hard to approach [Name]. Why? Well, maybe it was because of the fact that his younger sibling had grown rather attached to the Ramshackle prefect and a certain trouble-making trio (Ace, Deuce, and Grim).

Azul had enough of it, seeing his younger sibling get roped into trouble from their group of friends. When [Name] had came back to the dorm with the Heartslabyul's dorm leader's collar on them, Azul had to pull his younger sibling aside to talk.

"[Name], may I ask exactly why you have Riddle's collar on you? What did your friends bring you into this time?" Azul asked [Name] as they spoke in Azul's office. Azul was looking at his beloved younger sibling with furrowed brows and a scrutinizing expression.

[Name] replied, "It's a.. long story, big brother. Yuu, Ace, Deuce, Grim, and I were at Heartslabyul's Unbirthday Party. Dorm Leader Rosehearts got mad at us and collared us and kicked us out of the party because a rule was broken.."

Azul sighs in disappointment and exasperation. He can't believe his younger sibling associated themself with such troublemakers.

"[Name], honestly, why do you even hang out with such people?! They're getting you into trouble!"

[Name] tries to defend themself, "They don't mean to! And I can't just stand by and watch as my friends suffer on their own!"

Azul starts to get a little frustrated. Can't they see, those group of 'friends' as [Name] calls them are terrible influences. It's only a matter of time before they start using [Name] for their own benefit, Azul is sure about that. After all, [Name] has always been rather straightforward in the way that they won't hesitate to help (such values were strange to see in a school like Night Raven College). And Azul knew what happened to people like that; they get exploited, wrung out like a rag, draining them out until there's nothing left to give.

If [Name]'s friends were anything like the other students of NRC (like how Azul would treat his 'clients'), it would be so, so much worse for [Name]. Oh, Azul could practically see it now; it'll start small, like helping out with homework or lending some money. Eventually, it'll be like his younger sibling got the life and kindness sucked out of them, leaving them burnt out like a poor, unfortunate soul!

And Azul can't and won't let his beloved younger sibling go through that. He won't let [Name] fall from grace so terribly like the people who've broken their end of the deal with him.

And that is what Azul tells [Name] (leaving out the parts that paint Azul as the scheming businessman he is, of course) in an effort and attempt to dissuade his sibling from staying friends with their troublemaking friends.

"Don't you see, my dear sibling? They're only using you and their troublemaking schemes would run your student record through the mud. They're getting you involved in so much drama and troubles, and as your older brother, I'd hate for you to be surrounded by such terrible influences," Azul says.

[Name] frowns a bit. Azul worded it as though they hadn't done anything wrong, which wasn't all that far from the truth, though. However, [Name] also knew that Azul was thinking that they were being dragged against their will to help out, which they weren't.

"Big brother... I'm helping out willingly, because I want to. Besides, they're my friends. Didn't the Sea Witch always help other people? We're Octavinelle students, we must always follow the Sea Witch's values."

[Name] replies. The facts about Octavinelle and the Sea Witch were things that the younger Ashengrotto used to try convincing Azul to let them go.

Azul clicks his tongue, his eyes narrowing as he pushes up his glasses that were starting to fall a bit. "Then perhaps you should try getting better, more behaved friends instead of the ones you have right now. What happened to the well-behaved [Name] I used to know?" Azul mutters under his breath, but [Name] could still hear Azul's words.

[Name] frowns at the last question. "What 'happened' is that life happened, Azul. Not everyone stays the same! I've changed!!"

Azul, however, has difficulty getting behind the thought, shaking his head in denial, "Then change back!! [Name], I want the old you! The one who'd listen and trust me without a second thought! The one who was dependent on me! The one who actually made me feel special!!"

That was the last straw for [Name]. They have grown tired of their older brother trying to keep them the same as they used to when they were a child. Can't Azul just let go of the past? "Well that [Name] is gone!! I'm independent now, Azul! I'm not a child! Stop treating me like one!"

[Name] shouts in a burst of anger, before their eyes widen, not having expected themself to actually blow up like that. Not necessarily regretting it, though, the young Ashengrotto quickly turns away and leaves Azul's office, ignoring their older brother's shouts for them to come back.

---

Azul breathes heavily as he falls to his knees, watching as his younger sibling walks away from him, closing the door behind them. The sight can't help but remind Azul of the time when he and [Name] were separated; just this time, [Name] was being pulled away by their 'friends' instead of their father.

Azul can't believe this!! Did [Name] really just walk away from him?! After everything Azul did in hopes of having his dearest sibling back?! How dare they!

How dare they change! How dare they change so much to the point Azul barely recognizes them! How dare they move on from the past so quickly, as if it didn't bother them! And how dare they even think of choosing their friends over him!

How dare they make him cry! How dare they say words that hurt far more than when those pesky merfolk would bully him!! How dare they leave him there, with tears falling down his eyes and with a heart aching for family!

How dare they, how dare they, how dare they!!

Azul takes a deep breath of resolution, his eyes narrowing behind the glint of his glasses. Never mind, then. He'll show them, he just knows it.

Azul calls the Leech twins over to the office, preparing to make a plan for the upcoming exam season, a list of specific names he wants them to target.

He'll show [Name]. He'll show them that he's right. That big brother knows best.

#twst #twisted wonderland #twst platonic #twst sibling reader #twst angst #azul ashengrotto

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orshii · 7 months

Text

Limitless (through the night)

Author: orshii

Pairing: biker! Choi San x female reader

Warnings: cursing, brief mention of death

Word count: 11,5 k

Summary: You have broken the rules, again. The punishment? You’re moving in with your father, sent back to your hometown which you had grown to be a stranger to. What happens when old affairs return in the form of Choi San? The only guy you wished to forever avoid, the guy who was a menace and always knew which buttons to push.

Will he put aside your differences and help you out when you get in trouble again?

A/N: Wow, I guess I'm here again...Ever since I saw these pictures of San, I'm obsessed with it, so a story kinda popped out of my mind lol. Like, I'll just never get over biker San pls, he drives me crazy, and I don't like it (lie). Anyways, thank you for my talented bestie @bvidzsoo for helping me a lot. I'm really a newbie to this whole writing and Tumblr world so, ly bestie hehet. Please, enjoy! I'mma be back soon, with a Hongjoong series too, lmao. Okay, byee, xoxo, orshii. (divider)

Moving to a new place could excite you due to all the new opportunities coming your way, alongside with new people, which may become your new friends.

In my case it wasn't like this. I was moving back to my hometown, which I have left almost ten years ago, leaving behind my father and all the people who I was once close with.

Now, I'm on my way back to my father, back to the house where we once were a happy family. My mother left my father, because it seemed like my father cheated on her. But the actual truth was that she just wanted to escape from this little town. She had no opportunities here, so she just blamed everything on him to have a reason to leave this shitty little town behind, alongside with me. I was only 10 years old, I did not understand back then what the hell was happening, so I just went with her. We moved to a bigger city, which was full with people. I never liked it, I hate crowds, I hate how the city is full with life.

After a while, my mother met someone and he was rich, so, we moved into a bigger house, which looked like a castle. I did not like it; I like simple things. I liked our old house, where the walls were cracked like a river spreading through the map. It was beautiful in its own way.

So why am I going back again to my hometown? I look to my left, where my mother is driving. She looked tired and mad; she was continuously frowning while she was driving. Maybe she was thinking about how she could bring a child like me into this world. Of course, I was the cause of going back to my hometown. It was my punishment.

I'm going to be honest, lying isn’t something I do often. Since I was little, I adored motorcycles. They are so beautifully shaped and their sound is simply music to my ears. I love watching them through the TV, the bikers riding their fancy motorcycles and competing against each other, going in circles like Formula 1 cars on the circuits.

My dad had owned an old Yamaha, it was beautiful. He noticed that I adored it, and so, he taught me everything about motorbikes; which part of the bike belongs where, he even taught me how to repair some broken parts. That was the moment I fell in love with motorbikes. I could not wait until I grew up and finally got my license. I had one purpose in life, and that was it.

And after a lot of patience, I finally got my license, but I had no motorbike. This became my next goal. To buy a bike. I succeeded doing that too, and I was proud of myself.

I looked back, where my beautiful matte black Yamaha R6 was tied safely onto the trailer. After I bought Toothless—I have named it that—I naturally joined a motorbike gang and slowly got into the world of racing. But these were illegal affairs, illegal races. You’d rarely get caught, so I didn’t worry about it. But one day I made a very bad mistake and I was left to face the cops. I was alone, the others—whom I considered my friends—left me there, letting me face the repercussions all on my own. As soon as my mother got me out of the police station and we got home, she started packing my things, saying 'You're moving in with your father.' My opinion did not matter, it was settled, and I just needed to obey. I did not care about anything at that point, so I just went with it without a word. Since that incident I did not want to make any friends, I did not trust people anymore, not even my mother. She betrayed me by sending me back to our hometown, treating me like I was a nobody to her. I never felt like I belonged anywhere, I am used of being passed around by others.

As soon as we drove through the streets of my hometown, little memories started resurfacing and I smiled. It was good to be back, to be honest, I have always loved this area. I never actually wanted to leave it behind, I just really had no choice but to do otherwise.

When we finally arrived to the house where we had once lived, a whirlwind of emotions hit me like a truck. My father stepped out from his car service, wiping his oily hands onto a used black cloth, which was once white. He looked tired and worried, mimicking the same expressions reflected on my mother’s face.

I stepped out from the car, looking around a little bit. Nothing has changed since I had last been here, and that was a long time ago. We never came back after the separation, my father used to visit us when he had the time, but it was rare, and our relationship went from having a happy father-daughter connection, to a shallow 'How's school? Good.' connection.

As I looked around, my parents were talking quietly just so I wouldn’t overhear them, but I knew they were talking about me. They were talking, and then suddenly my mother was moving, giving me a kiss on my cheek and saying 'Don't get into any trouble', leaving me there like I was an abandoned cat, handed back to the streets because it kept causing trouble. She chose the easier way, passing me into the hands of my father.

I pushed my bike into the garage and covered it with a blanket, I did not want Toothless to be dusty from all the dirt flying around the air. My dad showed me around the house acting as if I was there for the first time. I stepped inside my old room; everything was just how I had left it. The old drawing in which I had drawn our once happy family, and even my little pink shoes, which I had cried about leaving behind accidentally. Everything was the same, except me.

I got enrolled into the local University. I wanted to learn still as I had nothing to do; I needed to keep my mind busy. As I was headed to the new University on my bike, I felt anxiety crawling up through my body. I never liked new places, and besides, this was a little town, everyone knew everyone. And so, I was the new girl in town to them. The girl who came back after years of being gone. I don't really think anybody is actually aware of who am I. I had changed.

I arrived to the parking lot of the university, and cut the engine of Toothless. I sighed before I got off my bike, taking off my raven black helmet with red lines on it. My anxiety had finally crawled through my body, managing to reach my mind and thoughts, clouding them and keeping me locked in, not letting me go for even a second. My thoughts had always been my biggest enemy. Overthinking made me feel anxious about even the littlest things. It wasn’t good as this influenced my behavior, all the time. I tried to gather myself, not having noticed that somebody was watching me.

"Princess is back in town and has a little motorcycle, I see." I jumped at the sudden deep voice coming from behind me.

I turned around and saw a very familiar looking, handsome, guy in front of me, but I did not remember his name. He was smirking at me, his eyes sharp like a knife, glaring at me like he was a predator and I was his prey. He was wearing a black hoodie that hugged his broad shoulders perfectly, with black shorts that reached his knees, pairing with red Jordans.

"And who are you?" I asked frowning; I really did not know him, he looked familiar, but I could not place a name to his face.

He just tilted his head, looking at me sharper than before, "You don't remember me? I'm Choi San."

He was frowning his thick eyebrows, a little cut in his left eyebrow making his glare more intense.

Choi San, the mayor's son. Now I knew who he was, and I did not fucking like him. He was always the annoying rich kid from school, always stuck-up, acting all-mighty due to his family being rich. And he didn’t like me either anymore. At the beginning we were friends, but then shit started happening at home—my parents arguing constantly, not even noticing me anymore—and so, I closed myself off, not wanting to befriend anyone. I was just a child, my parents constantly arguing was a big enough trauma for me to stop caring about other things. So, I pushed San away, who, I assume, took it to heart since he started hating me and acting like a total jackass, not letting me live. It was like that until I left my hometown, leaving everyone behind.

"Oh, well then, I don't care." I said while grabbing my helmet from my bike and turning around to leave. I did not have the energy for this arrogant prick, he didn’t change at all, I could tell by his one little sentence.

He laughed, "Princess is mad, huh? Is that a Yamaha R1?"

He had asked while pointing at my bike, not letting me leave quite yet.

I sighed and turned around looking at him annoyed, "No, it's an R6."

My answer was short and snappy.

"That's from one of the newest series. I bet you begged on your knees your rich stepfather to buy it for you." He laughed sarcastically, and it sounded like an engine that needed an oil change. I sneered at the thought.

It hurt, it hurt because he didn’t know how many days I didn’t sleep because I had shift after shift, working my ass off. My stepfather and mother didn’t want to buy me a bike, actually they hated just the idea of it, but I didn’t care, so I took as many jobs as I could, and after three years of hard work, I finally get to buy this beauty. It had nothing to do with my stepfather. San was just being his old self, being an asshole, judging even though he did not know anything at all.

"Just fuck off, San." I snapped before walking towards the building. I was starting to get annoyed, but I didn’t let it show because I knew that was what he wanted out of this exchange. To piss me off, get on my nerves.

I finally stepped inside the building. I was a bit lost; I didn't know where I was supposed to go now.

"Let's race someday or are you scared, baby?" But San suddenly stopped next to me, looking at me arrogantly, not leaving me alone.

I laughed at the nickname, it was cringe, what the hell was he thinking? "I don't do shit like that."

I didn’t even spare him a glance.

"Then why do you have a motorbike?" San asked, looking at me like the police officer had when he was interrogating me.

"I obviously use it to go to church." I rolled my eyes as I started walking down the corridor. I got a lot of curious looks from the other students littered around in the hallways.

"I bet you raced in that big town of yours." San said, of course, following me.

I suddenly stopped in my tracks, and looked at him with deadly eyes, "Can't you just go and fucking annoy somebody else?"

"Princess is being mean for what? I just wanted to welcome you back in town." He said with a smirk on his lips.

"Oh, how humble" I said ironically, "Thank you for your kindness."

I smiled at him and saluted him before turning around. I did not have the energy for this egoistic guy.

I somehow found the director's office. He handed over my schedule and wished me good luck, and I was abandoned again in the empty corridor.

I was looking at my schedule, trying to figure out which classroom I needed to get in.

"Hey, new girl, are you lost?" I heard a voice calling out to—me— I had assumed.

I looked up and I found myself standing in front of a tall, black-haired boy, with the kindest smile I had ever seen in my entire life. He was wearing bright colors, which highlighted his bright smiley face, he looked like a walking sunshine.

"Hi, yes, a little bit." I said while looking at my schedule confused.

"Let me see." He took the paper from my hands and looked at it humming, "Oh, you are in the same major as me. I'm headed to that class; I can show you the way."

He offered me up with a sweet smile.

"Oh my god, thank you, you saved me." I huffed the air out from my lungs.

"This way." He pointed out the direction with his finger, and we started to walk towards the classroom.

"By the way, I'm Yunho." He said, reaching his hand out towards me.

I smiled while shaking his hand, "Y/N, nice to meet you. How did you know I am the new girl?"

I had asked him curiously.

"Everyone knows, it's a little town, the rumors here spread like the plague." He shivered with a smile.

I chuckled, "Oh, I see. Too bad, I just wanted to remain unknown."

"Your dad is quite famous in town, did you know? So, I assume he told someone you are coming, and puff, the rumors are everywhere." He gave me a side glance as he smiled.

"Yeah, maybe." I said, thinking about the fact that my father has a car service, which, I assume, is the only one in town. Therefore, people meet up with him constantly, thinking more of it, it isn’t a surprise that people know who I am, in the end it, it is a little town. We arrived to the classroom, and headed in.

The day went by quickly. I was glad I met Yunho, he was a funny guy, and he led me around the University, making funny comments about some students. I really needed him in order to integrate into this new community, which I was once part of ten years ago. It was as if I had to relive the past, as if I was walking down the same path, I had done so ten years ago, a path which might have changed during my absence. It felt like I had to start everything from the very beginning.

The days passed by quickly, and I just tried to avoid being in the spotlight as I found out everyone knew me, but I knew nobody, because who would remember the people they had met while being just a little kid? As I was randomly walking on the street, headed to get some groceries, random people would say hello and even ask how my mom was. I just quickly answered them, but I didn’t know who they were. I didn’t like the attention, when all the eyes were on me, so I tried to lay low, live my life quietly.

Then one day, as I had gotten closer to Yunho, he somehow convinced me to attend a party held by some guy named Song Mingi. I wore casual clothes, meaning simple black ripped jeans paired with a black crop-top, and a leather jacket. I am a biker, so the leather jacket is a must, even when you have to leave your bike behind, as I had done now. I felt like drinking something. I hadn’t gotten drunken in a while, not that this was my purpose for the night.

Yunho came to pick me up with his navy-blue Nissan GT-R. The car was beautiful inside out. And that is when I found out that Yunho used to do street racing, held by some local racing company. That's another reason as to why we became friends so quickly, as we were interested in the same things.

When we arrived to the house where the party was held at, it was already crowded. Luckily, there was the opportunity to stay outside, next to the pool, and so, I told Yunho I didn't really want to go into the crowd. He stayed with me, and to our luck, we found some alcohol outside too. There was a table next to the pool, and there were a whole bunch of alcoholic drinks on it, so, we took some tequila shots. As we were talking about some of Yunho's street races, I heard someone approaching us.

"Where did you leave your expensive bike, princess?" He clapped his hands together, reaching for a can of beer, opening it quickly with his thumb. He was wearing dark jeans, a white T-shirt, and on top a leather jacket. At least he knew the unsaid rule of the bikers. Leather jacket is a must, like I have said.

I looked at him with a glare, "I left it at church since I got drunk on the communion wine."

I said annoyed as it was my last wish to meet him tonight, “Just leave me alone, San.”

"Where's the fun in that?" He leaned close to my face, bending down to be at the same height as me, whispering it in my face.

"The fun must be where you brain is, which you seem to be lacking in." I pointed at his head.

He laughed loudly, "You'll see where is the fun when I beat you at the race."

He glared at me with his typical sharp gaze. It whispered danger. And I liked danger.

“I said I don’t race; do you have issues with your long-term memory now?” Despite meaning to be teasing and unabashed, my voice came out a little angry as I frowned.

“I saw the news about your little incident. You can’t be fooling everyone and telling them you nearly got arrested, princess.” He spread his arms, as he raised his voice, so everyone could hear it who was outside. I felt everyone’s eyes on us, coming closer, way too interested in hearing what the whole fiasco was about.

My blood had started boiling and I clenched my fists together, until my knuckles turned white. I was blinded by my sudden anger towards San, I just wanted to wipe that annoying, arrogant, smile off of his face. I stepped closer to him, my face inches away from his, as his back was facing the pool. He just needed a little encouragement for a swim, and so, I strongly pushed him towards the pool, and before he could fall in, I quickly whisked the beer out of his hand, and lifted it into the air.

“Have a good swimming, Choi San.” I placed the beer down on the table. That was my que to leave him there. I could feel his glare pointed at my back from the pool as he swum to the surface. I could feel his annoyance, that he felt embarrassed. I smirked to myself, Choi San, you have no idea whom you’re trying to annoy. Yunho came after me quickly and gave me a high-five for the move I had just pulled off.

The next hours at the party were spent by drinking and dancing, as I went into the dancing crowd. I just wanted to disappear in the crowd and feel good. I tried to avoid San the whole night as I didn’t want to see his furious side, San, who got humiliated by me. It was funny, I had to smile the whole time as I remembered his face when I pushed him into the pool, amused by the whole ordeal. I also got to know the guy who threw the party as Yunho introduced us to each other. Mingi was a tiny bit shorter than Yunho, but you could barely notice. He had a buzz cut and rocked his blonde hair; his sharp nose completed his small eyes well. He wore a black T-shirt with some silver necklaces around his neck, and black ripped jeans. His nails were painted black with some rings on his fingers. I am not going to lie; he was hot as hell. And I also found out that he races alongside with Yunho. He owns a Toyota Supra, and that nearly made me faint when he told me about it, because it’s a rare car. He then proceeded to show it to me. It was so beautiful and unique due to its painting. It was kind of a papaya orange with some words on it painted on it, 'Fix on' and 'Youth'. I really liked it.

I had asked the boys about what kind of race San spoke about, and they said it’s an illegal motorbike race, which happen to be very rare here. I quickly tried to forget about it. I didn't want to cause trouble again; I had promised my mom and also myself to stay low, to be better. San was just provoking me; I wouldn’t fall into his trap.

The next day at university as I was walking down the corridor, headed to the cafeteria, something immediately caught my eyes. It was a poster with a motorbike on it, of course it caught my eyes. I went closer to read it. It said that a motorbike competition was to be held, and the prize were some new parts to upgrade your motorcycle. This was the competition San was talking about, and it's going to be held tonight on the deserted streets of the city. I'm not going to lie; it piqued my interest. I miss speeding down the roads, the adrenaline coursing through my veins every time I race. And my bike is in urgent need of an upgrade, because these past days it felt like something was wrong with it, but I couldn’t figure out what it was exactly. For now, I'm going to let it go, but I still took the poster with me…just in case.

Evening came and I was in my room, I barely talked to my father all day, nothing unusual. Sometimes when I'm alone, and that happens a lot recently, I just start thinking about useless things that make me feel weak. I have never opened up to anyone before, I was never that kind of person, and besides, I always thought it's useless to open up to someone, because in the end they never truly care about me. And the fact that I was betrayed by my own "friends", it just confirms that I really should just stick to myself. I'm not going to say that it didn’t hurt when I saw my friends running away from the police, pushing me straight in front of them, telling me, "You are the new girl, handle it." Funny, I'm the new girl everywhere, I'm not going to belong anywhere, I am always going to be the new girl. They thought it was a nice joke, it wasn't; it ruined me. I started to think that the problem was me, that I deserved this, that I am not enough. As some time went by, I realized it wasn't my fault, but these thoughts still remained deep in my heart. And I will carry it with myself for a long time.

Here I am again, thinking about these things. These are those moments, when I need to clear my head. My solution for it is going out into the chilly air with my bike, cutting through the wind with the highest speed my bike can handle. The feeling of it being night, and I'm alone with Toothless, speeding through unknown streets, I feel like it's just me and my bike in this whole world. It’s like therapy for me. It just…understands me, just like the feeling you get while listening to music; sometimes you listen to a sad song, it makes you sad, it just describes your feelings, but if you are happy and you listen to that exact same song, it'll bring happy tears out of you.

I was going around the city aimlessly, when suddenly I saw a bunch of bikers headed somewhere. That's when I realized they were going to the competition. My heart started to beat quickly. I started inhaling and exhaling slowly, just the thought of racing made my blood boil, my skin itch, awakening my body like nothing else.

And as I kept following after them, suddenly I realized I arrived to the location of the competition. It was really my subconscious taking over, driving me here. I slowed down a little. There were a lot of people around crowding the bikers, watching their unique motorcycles. Some background music accompanied the sound of the engines as it melted together, creating an intriguing melody. The atmosphere here were totally different compared to the one in the big city. Back there it was just serious faces, who hated each other. But here, I only saw smiles and laughs even between the racers as it seemed like everyone looked at each other friendly, not viewing the other as the enemy.

I stopped my bike, turning the engine off after having parked it. I noticed some curious eyes on me. I didn't know what to do now, I was totally alone. I didn’t know anyone, but I needed to fight my anxiety as I took my helmet off. My helmet always gave me safety, kept me unknown, and that's what I always wanted.

When I stepped next to my bike, someone immediately caught me into a hug. It was Yunho. He lifted me up in the air and smiled.

"Oh my God, you are here, Y/N!" He said excitedly, putting me down.

I laughed, "Yes, I am. I don't know how exactly, I was out for a ride, and then I found myself here."

I said placing my helmet down on my bike.

"I am so happy you are here." Yunho said, his smile never disappearing.

"Yeah, I can see that." I chuckled looking at his bright face.

"Will you sign up for the competition?" He asked me with curious eyes.

I sighed, "I'm here so—I guess?"

I lifted my hands into the air, shrugging.

"Yes!" Yunho fist bumped the air happily, making me chuckle.

He then led me to a person at which I needed to sign up for the competition. I didn't know who I was going to compete against, just until Choi San came to sign up as well. I had already finished signing up as I stood aside with Yunho, while he leaned towards me and quietly started to introduce each racer.

"Did you know that we are going to race against each other, princess?" San said, throwing a quick glance my way with his sharp eyes, signing the paper in front of him. I checked him out very quickly, hoping nobody would notice. He was wearing his typical leather jacket but with a black T-shirt underneath, and ripped jeans this time. His black hair fell into his eyes as he finished filling out the paper. Every woman very noticeably thirsted after him, and I wasn't an exception…he’s fucking hot. What a shame he has a shitty personality.

I rolled my eyes and ignored him, tuning to face Yunho, who was talking to some guy I didn't know. Did San really not understand that I didn’t want to talk to him?

"I want to race against her." I heard San's voice coming from behind me. I turned around to look at him annoyed.

"You can’t get rid of me so fast." He winked at me, that fucker.

"I will, on the track." I smiled at him sweetly, turning around again as I went back to my bike with Yunho, adrenaline slowly starting to course through my body. I had to win this, I had to wipe that confident smile off of San's face.

The race started, it was a drag racing, meaning three bikers were lined on the starting point, it was a shorter straight section, then as the lights turned green from red, you just needed to shift the gears up as perfectly as you could. The first who reaches the finish line wins. Speed mattered only here, and how detailed you are about the gearing.

A few bikers were already done with the race, and I watched them curiously. Slowly, it was our turn to race. People were loud and they cheered whenever their favorites won.

I rolled over to the starting point. One guy was already there and I found out that I'm going to race against San and a guy named Hongjoong, whose nickname was the Devil. I didn't know him, but Yunho said he is one of the most well-known bikers in the town. He had a Honda CBR. His bike was sick, it was bright red and the owner sitting on it with his red helmet really looked like the Devil himself, I get why they call him that.

As I rolled next to him, I glanced towards my right as he was there. He looked at me and bowed his head, I did the same. It was a sign of respect. I liked the guy already.

San arrived to my left side with his Suzuki GSX, painted also with a very dark red, reminding me of blood, mixed with some black. These guys weren't playing, their bikes were absolute monsters. I could almost hide with Toothless, but my bike was almost on the same level as theirs, so I saw hope in winning this.

When the announcer spoke, saying our names and a few things about our motorbikes, I slowly started to focus on the task at hand. I did not hear anything else, just my fast-beating heart. I fixed my eyes ahead, breathing in and out. The engine sounds pushed away the crowd’s noise. The red light suddenly switched green, and I quickly lifted my left foot off the ground, concentrating on the perfect timing of the gearing, bending over a little to adjust with the speed. From the outside it looks like three bikes quickly reach the finish line, but when you are the driver, it feels like the longest minutes of your life.

At the beginning the three of us were head-to-head, then I was the one who was leading. I could feel the victory coursing through my bloodstream already. But suddenly, I heard a puffing noise from my engine, and it stopped without any warning. My bike started to slow, the thoughts of winning long forgotten.

'Shit, shit, no, no, no, no, no!' I mumbled to myself. I could barely stop; my bike was still resonating.

The two other racers quickly passed by me, leaving me with my broken bike. I glanced forward and saw San reaching the finish line first. I was so fucking close. I hit my bike angrily, and got off it to push it over to the side. This is the worst feeling ever, when you are so close that you can already feel the win, but then something out of your control happens and it’s not your fault, you can’t do anything about it, you’re only left with cursing the world, asking, 'Why me?'

I could feel something was faulty with my bike, but I didn't think it was this bad. I heard someone running my way. It was Yunho, and when he reached me, he leaned his hands on his knees, catching his breath.

"Fuck, what happened?" He asked straightening up, still breathing quickly from running.

"I don't know, the engine just stopped working." I kicked my bike. I loved Toothless, but when it did things like this, I felt like I was going to throw it out.

Yunho came closer to my bike, to try and see what the problem was. He crouched down to take a closer look as I stood next to him, using the flash of my phone to help him see better. I heard an engine slowing down next to us. Of course it was San, he took his black helmet off, smiling at me deviously.

"Daddy's money wasn't enough for a normal motor? It’s called karma, princess.” He said with a death glare, smirking annoyingly. “This is because you fucking pushed me into the pool."

Why the hell did he enjoy spitting out words that made no sense at all?

I could feel my blood boiling, my biggest desire at the moment being the want to punch that confident smile off his annoying face. I was so close doing it, I swear to God, I was ready to punch him hard, but that little sanity I was clinging on to did not let it happen. I always had problems controlling my anger. But slowly, I learned to handle it. I learned how to manage these feelings, so I just let it bounce off of me.

"Next time I’m going to push you into the sea, if you don’t stop being an asshole. Go, celebrate your fucking win, you really deserve it." I said, staring at him with deadly eyes.

"Your wish is my command, Princess." He saluted with a smirk, and then placed his helmet back on, driving away with his annoyingly loud engine. I scoffed as I watched him roll away.

"I think I'm going to call my dad, there's no hope in fixing it." I sighed. I'm going to get into so much trouble now. I was forbidden from racing, my dad won't be happy, I'm sure. But it is what it is. At least the cops didn't show up this time.

I called my dad and told him what happened. I was nervous of how he would react. To my surprise, his first question was about my well-being. He said he was coming.

While I was waiting alone for my dad—I told Yunho that he could since my dad was coming— Hongjoong stopped by my side, taking his helmet off. His blonde hair fell into his face as he ruffled his hair. He was damn handsome, he looked so soft, the opposite of his nickname.

"Everything alright?" He asked, his eyes full of understanding.

"Not really, my engine is broken, so yeah…" I said with a sad smile.

"Can I help you with anything?" He looked at me as if he really understood what I was feeling right now.

"No, thank you, I'm waiting for my dad to pick us up." I pointed at my bike.

"Okay, such a shame this happened. It was a good race." He smiled at me and then reached his fist towards me.

"Yeah, it could’ve be a good one." I fist bumped him, smiling.

"Next time perhaps then." He winked at me sweetly, "If you need any help, I'mma be around." He put his helmet back on.

"Okay, thank you." I smiled at him sincerely.

He rolled away quickly, leaving me there with my thoughts. Now, that's what I'm talking about. Why aren't there more people like him on Earth? He looks like an angel, not like the devil I suppose he is—on track. I was intrigued, I wanted to get to know him better. San could really learn a thing or two from him.

My dad arrived after a few minutes and we quietly placed my bike up on the trailer. As we were headed home, silence settled around us. I could feel he was pissed.

"I'm sorry." I said, looking straight ahead at the road, not wanting to see his disappointed expression.

"What did you think?" He started, "That you would race and I wouldn’t ever find out about it? It's a little town, Y/N, you already know how fast rumors spread here."

He glanced at me for a second.

"I know, I didn’t think, I just miss racing." Tears appeared in my eyes. "Please don't tell mom. She will send me to Azkaban after this."

Call it a defense mechanism, a trauma response, but I had always been like this…joking in serious situations.

I glanced at him and saw a very small smile appear on his lips, "I won't tell her, but it was very bold of you to race again. You can't do that, you know it, it'll have consequences."

He lectured me.

"Yeah, I know. Thank you for not telling mom." I said, relief spreading through my body.

"But you're still punished. You have to help me in the car service after school." He said glancing at me with a serious look.

"Okay, and maybe we could fix my bike too?" I said, glancing at him with a smile.

My father smiled back, "Maybe after we fixed some cars, we could check it out next week."

I clapped happily, "Thank you!"

The rest of the ride until we got home was quiet, I was happy my father was this understanding. I thought as soon as he finds it out, he'll send me back to mom, passing me between each other like I was a tennis ball. But to my surprise, it was the opposite, and I really didn't mind working in the car service. At least we could spend some more time together. I hoped we could fix our relationship, alongside with the cars, of course.

My days went by and they all were quite the same. I attended my classes at university, then my whole afternoon went by fixing cars with my father. He managed to teach me a lot of things about cars, even though my world was all about motorbikes I was always interested in cars too. I was planning on buying a car, but I needed to put that aspiration aside for a while. My priority was fixing my bike so I could finally ride it.

We checked out my bike and we found out that my engine was overheated, and that's why it shut down. An engine upgrade was needed, and we changed the turbo as well while we were at it. It was going to be even more powerful than before; I was so excited to finally try it out. On some days, Yunho and Mingi would come by the car service to check on me, and they even started helping me out in fixing my bike. We started getting closer, we laughed a lot in between the late-night repairing.

Yunho and Mingi invited me to watch their races, which were going to be held today. I had never been to races like this one before, so I happily accepted the invitation. I could finally try my bike out as I was headed to the race. It felt so good riding it again after a while. I felt like I could breathe again. I think I had gotten addicted to this feeling.

The race was held at the race track of the town, in the afternoon. The sun was slowly going down as I rode my bike, painting my black bike and helmet with the shade of dark orange.

When I arrived to the track, there were lots of people being excited about the race. It was a drag race again, but with cars this time. I looked around and I saw different types of cars, each looking very sick and unique. I started to feel excited as I was rolling down between the cars, searching for Yunho's parked car.

Then, I suddenly recognized someone with a blonde hair. He noticed me and started walking towards me with a smile. I stopped and took off my helmet.

"Fixed your bike, huh?" Hongjoong approached me with a genuine smile.

"Yeah, finally." I pet my bike with a smile.

"I'm glad, we shall try it out some day." He said with his white teeth flashing.

"We shall." I smiled back at him. I would wholeheartedly race with him again.

"Are you racing?" I asked with a frown.

"No, I came to watch, I won't betray my beast." He laughed sweetly. I swear to God, his laugh was like music to my ears, "You came to watch too?"

"Yeah, I've never been to races like this one before." I said, feeling excited.

"We can watch it together; I know the best place where we can watch it from." Hongjoong offered with a sweet smile.

"Okay." I accepted his offer quite easily, "But first, I want to wish Yunho and Mingi good luck."

"Come, you can put your bike down there, I’ll show you where they are." He pointed towards my right, where I could park my bike.

I pushed my bike to the designated area, and brought my helmet with myself. I did not want to leave my treasure there. Hongjoong lead the way to where Yunho's blue GT-R was parked, next to Mingi's orange Supra. These two cars next to each other looked so good. I was very tempted to take a picture of them.

I approached Yunho and hugged him from behind, surprising him. He laughed, "You came, finally."

"I would never miss it." I smiled looking up at him. He was wearing his racing suit with colors that matched his car. His hair was lazily brushed over his forehead, almost reaching his eyes.

I hugged Mingi too, the top part of his orange racing suit lazily hung around his waist, a white T-shirt underneath. This orange clothing suit him very well, highlighting his blonde buzz cut. They looked handsome. What is it today, everyone is looking so good?!

"I'm going to be in the crowd, watching you guys, good luck. Fighting!" I smiled and hugged them both again. Hongjoong also wished them good luck, resorting to giving them high-fives.

"Thanks, we'll try." Yunho said laughing.

We then walked to the spot Hongjoong mentioned before. It was really a good one, we could see everything from here. The crowd started to cheer as the first cars appeared on the track. It was a 2v2. Yunho was the first one, competing against a Mitsubishi Lancer. It was going to be hard to beat that car, but Yunho did not disappoint, and he won with a lot of advantage. Every minute counted here; they were measuring the time up until you crossed the finish line. Time mattered here as it could beat your opponent.

After a lot of quick races, the sun went down, street lamps were lighting the track up, the crowd cheering loudly. We laughed a lot with Hongjoong, and he explained the rules of the races we were witnessing. I finally felt happy after a long time, I loved the atmosphere here.

That is until someone sat next to me.

"Now you’re into cars too? Tell your stepdad to send you a car, a broken one perhaps." San said, looking at me with those fucking annoying sharp eyes of his.

Every time he appears, my mood is fucked, "I will, now leave me the fuck alone."

I had said not looking at him.

San laughed, "Not until we're racing with equal chances."

"Oh, so now you admit it wasn't a fair win for you?" I looked at him with a glare.

"No, I would've won anyways. I just wanted to see how much you could push. But your bike said, nah. I bet it'll fall apart again." He said, leaning closer to me.

My blood started boiling, it was one thing if I was the one saying shit about Toothless, but him spitting out these words about my bike were not allowed. Ever. San was provoking me, and I knew it, I fucking knew it, yet…

"Come, I'll fucking beat you this time." I looked at him with blazing eyes, starring at him sharply.

He stood up smiling, "It'll be my pleasure, princess."

He put his right hand on his heart and bowed.

Oh, how I would hit him in the face, I had nightmares about that fucking confident smile.

I stood up, Hongjoong grabbed my hands to make me look at him, "It's not the best time going out there, Y/N."

He said with concern in his voice.

"I don't care, I want to wipe that confident smile off his face." I was long gone, there was no chance of anyone convincing me doing otherwise.

Hongjoong stood up, looking at me with concern, "But please be careful, call me if anything happens."

He held my hands, he really looked concerned.

"Don't worry, savior. I'll keep her safe." San glared at Hongjoong with the deadliest stare I've ever seen.

Hongjoong stepped closer to San, letting go of my hands. "If anything happens to her because you’re a fucking idiot and your ass is just itchy, you'll regret it, I promise."

Hongjoong stared back at San, and in this moment, he really looked like the Devil. I stood between them as they were eyeing each other, glaring with their noses flared.

Whoa, whoa, hold on a second, what was happening right now—

"Okay, guys, stop! Let's not waste any more time and get this shit over." I looked at San, losing my patience.

He winked at me and then smiled, his dimples appearing. Did I just notice he has dimples?

He did not wear his usual black leather jacket tonight; it was a leather jacket with some red on its sleeves and on the waist with white lines. On the front there was a writing 'SUZUKI', referring to his motorbike being the same brand. I’m not going to lie; he looked hot as fuck.

We walked over to our bikes, which were parked next to each other. I sat on my bike.

"So where are we going? You know this town." I looked over to my left side to meet San's gaze.

"There's a freeway not far from here. There’ll be traffic, but it’s more exciting that way." He smirked.

I started my engine and reached my hand out, motioning to him to show me the way. We both placed our helmets on, and then it was game on from there on. There was no turning back anymore.

I followed San, turning on unknown streets, it was barely a five-minute ride. We stopped where the freeway began.

"The winner is who gets to the end of the freeway first. It's not that long." He told me through his helmet, being on my left side.

I just nodded, it was late into the evening, but the cars ahead of us were countless. It was a three-lane road, people might’ve been going home from work, because there were a lot of cars. We lined up at the side of the road, in front of the red light. San pointed at that, signaling that if it turns green, we start. I started to reeve the engine, my legs in starting position with my eyes focused on the road ahead of me, counting the cars, and analyzing how could I pass by them. Adrenaline crawled through me; my skin covered in goosebumps. I have never felt like this before, I was so hyped about winning this. I had to win this.

The red light suddenly changed to green, and I quickly lifted my foot off the ground, bending over my bike and shifting up. We slid through the cars like the river runs through the rocks. We were two quick arrows passing by the cars, wheezing from left to right. At first, we were head-to-head, but I got lucky and I could pass by a big truck very quickly. San wasn't that lucky, he stayed behind a little. We arrived to a tunnel; sudden strong light hit my eyes. Traffic was lesser here, so, San quickly caught up with me. The sound of our engines were so loud that its echo bounced of the tunnel’s walls. It was like music, the two-engine sound melting into each other. I'm not going to lie, I was enjoying it so much as I have never felt like this before, it was the definition of freedom. I quickly glanced at San and he lifted his arms, giving me a thumps up, then quickly passed by me. But I did not let that happen, I went after him. We arrived to the end of the tunnel, sudden darkness hitting me now, my eyes needed a few minutes to adopt to the dark again. As cars were in front of us, I quickly took the chance to go in between two cars, and I was leading again. Until I suddenly saw red and blue lights flashing from behind.

Shit, shit, no, not again—

It felt like my heart was about to jump out of my chest, it was beating so fast. I can't get caught again, no way. I started to panic, and suddenly all strength escaped my body as I started to slow down. I couldn’t think straight as all thoughts left my mind seeing those colors again, getting flashbacks of that night. The lights, then being pushed straight into the cop’s hands, my friends running away, leaving me alone. San was suddenly next to me.

"Hey, Y/N, don't slow down, we need to lose them! I know a shortcut, follow me!" He yelled over the sounds of our engines and through his helmet, as I suddenly was back from the flashback as I looked behind me, seeing as the cops getting closer and closer.

I just nodded, suddenly feeling my strength coming back to me. There's no way they will catch me again. I quickly followed after San, passing by the cars, the police still following us, getting closer. San turned right onto a street, then left. We went through alleys and little streets, where only a bike would fit. I had no idea where were we, but I didn't care, because it seemed like San's plan was working and the red and blue lights were now far away from us. Suddenly, San turned left and went inside an abandoned factory's court. He quickly stopped and turned off the engine, signaling for me to do the same. I rolled next to him, and switched the key to turn off the engine. I glanced behind my back, I didn't see any signs of the police, but I still felt like I couldn’t breathe. I took off my helmet quickly, starting to inhale and exhale quickly.

"Fuck." I ran my fingers through my hair stressed, pulling it away from my face.

"Come, let's go inside, bring your bike too." San said, getting off his bike as he started pushing it towards the building.

As I got off my bike, I was shaking, the adrenaline was still in my blood. We brought our bikes inside and I needed to sit quickly. I sat down, pressing my back against my bike, lifting my knees up to my chest.

"I think they're gone." San sat down, doing the same as me.

He glanced over me, "Are you okay?"

"Yeah." I said, still not looking at him.

"Are you really that scared of the cops?" I could hear it in his voice that he was smiling.

"San, this is really not the time where you can say shit like that." I glanced over at him. I guess he saw my expression, because his face changed.

"Sorry, I didn’t—" We lifted our heads up as we heard the siren sounds. The red and blue lights lit the walls of the factory, and my heart dropped to my stomach.

"Shit, shit, they are coming here." I stood up, San did too. But suddenly, I heard the sirens getting further and further away. I let out the big breath I was holding this whole time.

"They just passed by, idiots." San laughed.

I glanced over at him in disbelief, and sat down again next to my bike.

San mirrored me, "We need to wait a little, though, so they will give up searching for us."

"You were in these kinds of situations a lot, huh?" I asked San, staring ahead into the darkness.

"Kinda, that's why I knew what to do." He said sighing. Quiet fell over us as we both were thinking, probably not about the same things as he spoke up, "But I don't get it. What did you do that you got almost arrested? Did you crash your bike and kill someone?”

He looked at me frowning. I scoffed at him; I really couldn’t believe he was like this.

"You don't know anything about me, so please stop assuming things when you don't know shit." I stared at him angrily, "It's making me feel sick, San. I'm so fucking tired of your comments, what did I do to you for you to behave like this with me?"

I asked him, looking his way then at my hands, "I was just fucking racing because I love to do so. Why is that so bad? Don’t you do the same thing, San? I’ve got arrested because my friends left me there, so I was blamed for that whole mess, on my own. So, please, ask before you talk shit."

There was a minute of silence, "Fuck, I didn't know, Y/N. I don't fucking know why I'm an asshole with you. It is so easy to piss you off."

I glanced at him; he was staring ahead as he ran his fingers through his raven black hair.

"And you are enjoying this?" I scoffed at him in disbelief.

"Of course I don’t, it’s just—" He turned my way, "Lately I did it just because I wanted to race against you and I thought if I provoke you, then you'll come. I know it sounds stupid, but don't say you didn't like it."

He seemed nervous a little. Choi San being nervous, interesting.

"I did enjoy it, San. But what the hell, why couldn't you just ask me nicely if I wanted to come with you? I would've, if you weren't such an asshole.” I looked at him, “And our bickering or whatever did not start here.”

"Yeah…I know." He looked down at his hands, "When we were kids you suddenly just got cold and pushed me away like I was some garbage. I was a little kid, it hurt."

He admitted. I didn’t recognize this San, this softer, nicer, side of him was strange to me.

"I was a little kid too. Kids are mean, you just had a weak heart." I said to him, "That does not mean you have to be an asshole your whole life, because I mistreated you when we were fucking kids. This is it, San. You need to adapt to some situations; you have to let go of foolish things at times."

I looked at him seriously.

"Forgive me for being such an asshole, you did not deserve it. I just tried to blame other people for my weaknesses." He admitted, and for a second, he looked vulnerable. But it vanished away quickly.

And suddenly we started sharing about our lives, the cops long forgotten, things that we didn't know about the other. I could see the side of him, which he rarely let anyone see. He could be really goofy, we laughed together, trying to recall the ridiculous situations we were in when we were just kids.

"And just so you know, I bought my bike, not someone else. I worked for it, for years. I took shift after shift, because I wanted something. You know…it hurt when you said those things to me." I suddenly felt like I had to tell him how much he stabbed a knife into my heart that day.

"Fuck this, this whole situation is ridiculous." He scoffed, his voice getting weaker. "I'm so fucked up. I'm so fucking tired of adapting to what people expect of me. I did this my whole life."

I looked at him as he buried his face into his palms.

Silence fell over the chilly air as San seemed to be on edge, while he quietly sniffed. I couldn’t believe that San was crying. It came out of the blue; I did not understand the cause of it.

Suddenly, I slipped next to him. I just wanted to hug him, he looked so broken. So, I went closer to him, still sitting on the ground, and hugged him tightly as he scooted closer to me and buried his face into my neck.

"It's okay, San. Sometimes life can be too much. Just let it out." I stroked his back patiently. I felt some tears falling onto my neck.

I couldn’t believe I was hugging Choi San right now, but I have always been like this. I don't care if he harmed me, if he needs a shoulder to cry on in his most vulnerable moment, then I’m going to be there for him because no one deserves to be alone in these moments.

"I'm so tired, I'm sick of this pain…" He mumbled into my neck, sobbing a bit, "After my mom died—"

"Your mom died?" I lifted his head from my neck, cupping his face with my hands. I looked at him with round eyes. I didn't know his mother died; I was shocked.

"Yeah, right after you moved away..." He said, looking into my eyes with his puffy ones. He seemed empty, he seemed like he wasn't feeling anything at all, "She had cancer, she…She struggled a lot…and I was alone, I needed someone to be there for me, I tried…I really tried." He said, his voice getting quieter.

I did not want to believe what I just heard, his mom was an angel, everyone liked her when she stepped on the stage alongside with the town’s major. They looked like true leaders. I always looked up to her, and now she’s gone.

"Oh my God, I didn't know, San. I'm sorry for your loss.” I blinked away my own tears as I wiped away his, “If I would've known—"

I felt a bit overwhelmed.

Suddenly his expression changed, it seemed like he had realized what he had done in the last few minutes. He locked his feelings away, again. He thought he showed too much of his weaker, softer, side and suddenly, he started closing off, just like I used to do. The old San was coming back. He pushed my hands away from his face aggressively, not looking at me.

"Whatever, I don't need your pity." He stared ahead, and leaned back against his bike, lifting his knees up to his chest.

I scoffed, "What did I do now?”

I blinked at him, not understanding the sudden mood change, “Okay, you can't be helped. I tried, I really tried to be nice with you, but you are impossible."

I stood up, "I think the cops are long gone, let's get the fuck out of here." I pushed my bike outside not waiting for San. I sat on my bike, starting the engine. San arrived next to me, with his bike.

"I'm sorry, Y/N." He looked at me with sincerity, but I did not fall for it.

"Yeah, me too, have a good night." I said with a disappointed look and I put my helmet on to drive away quickly. I just needed to get as far away as possible from him.

Weeks passed since that night. I tried to avoid San as much as I could. I just couldn't face him; I was so tired of his games. There were a few occasions when he tried to talk to me, but I just ignored him. It's not that I don't understand him, I do, I know what he's been through…at least I can imagine. That night, I tried to see his good side, but he did not let me in. And it hurt, because I knew he needed someone, and I would've been by his side. But he suddenly decided to push me away. He closed himself off, stayed in the dark, not allowing me to light his path for a way out. I really felt hopeful for a second that he could change, that he would lower his walls and let me in. But no, he'll just never change, so I gave up on hoping. At least I thought so, but these past days I just couldn't get him out of my mind. When I closed my eyes, I saw him as he smiled at me in for that few minutes when we were freely talking about ourselves. I'm not going to lie, I liked that side of San, it was so pure. And I would've never thought I was going to say such things about Choi San. But he made me feel strange things.

It was late into the night when I was still in the car service. A car needed to be fixed by tomorrow and I told my dad he could rest, he has worked all day long and I could see he was really tired, so I wanted to fix this car by tomorrow. The weather seemed like it would rain soon, lighting striking every few minutes.

Suddenly, I heard an engine sound from outside. I frowned, who it is this late? I opened up the garage door and I found myself facing a soaked San, getting off his Suzuki, staring at me the whole time. His clothes were starting to soak through, the raindrops falling off from his leather jacket. It had started pouring badly; I haven’t even realized it. My heart was beating fast. He took off his helmet, his hair immediately getting wet. San ran his fingers through his hair.

"What are you doing here?" I asked him without any emotion.

"I just want to talk to you, Y/N. Please, let me take you to a place." He looked at me with pleading eyes.

"In this weather, San, seriously?" I pointed out, still standing under the garage, safe from the pouring rain.

"It'll stop in a few minutes." He said his, black clothes soaked now, waterdrops falling off his face.

"How do you know? Are you a weather expert now too?" I asked frowning. I was just as hostile as he once was towards me.

He chuckled and ran his fingers through his hair again. "I deserved that. Just like the pool."

He looked at me again. I could see a lot of regret in his eyes.

"That night, I closed myself off because your face reminded me of all the people who pitied me back then, when she died. I was only 11 years old, and I got sick of seeing those faces, it always reminded me of her death."

He started to tear up, his voice getting weak again, "Please, Y/N, forgive me. I know I fucked up everything, I just—you—you drive me crazy and I can't behave around you. I feel like when I'm near you I’ll lose my mind, like I’m not myself anymore. I said a lot of shitty things to you, and I judged you a lot even though I didn't know anything about you. I want to change that, I want to know you better, Y/N. I want to let you in, I'll do that if you also want it, but I hope you won't be scared of what you'll see."

I saw as teardrops fell down on his face, but the rain immediately washed it away, his voice cracking from the flow of emotions.

My heart wanted to jump out of my chest. I didn't except him to say things like these to me, "I'm not scared, San, to see your dark side. I never was, and I never will be."

Tears started to appear in my eyes, to my surprise, "You said some hurtful things to me, but I get it, I really do. I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable, but I was just so shocked, I didn't know…I didn't know, San."

I started to sob, tears falling from my face.

"I know, I know, baby." He stepped closer to me as he reached out for my hands pulling me out into the rain, into his chest. I cried into his chest as he rubbed my back up and down, my clothes and my hair soaked. I should’ve been the one comforting him, but in the end, I was the one sobbing like a little girl into his chest.

We stood in the heavy rain; our clothes wet, my hair sticking to my forehead yet he still hugged me like he never wanted to let me go. Caressing my back, he kissed the top of my head. I tried to inhale and exhale, so I could finally speak.

"I forgive you, and also I'm sorry." I whispered to him, lifting my head up from his chest.

He didn't let me go, his left hand was on my waist and he reached his right hand up to my cheeks to wipe off my tears, but they were wet again with tears and raindrops. "It's okay, don't cry, please, because then I'll cry too."

He smiled at me with the sincerity I've never seen before. His eyes were saying so much, it hurt. He finally let me in, allowed me to see his real self.

I laughed at that, and he followed suit, laughing together at this predicament, "Look at us, soaked like wet rats."

He smiled at me, never taking his sharp eyes off me.

Then suddenly his expression became serious, he stared at me as if I was his treasure, wanting to bury me, so no one could take me away, "I want to know you better, I want to know everything about you. What you like, what you don't, what is your favorite color, what do you like to eat, what you did while you were gone from here, what does it feel like to ride your bike…I want to know you, and never let you go."

He said, his hand still on my cheek, accompanied by his other one.

I smiled at him. I felt so happy at that exact moment, I didn't care if I was soaked, I only saw him, "Me too."

I said quietly.

He leaned closer to me, his lips almost touching mine, "Can I kiss you?"

He whispered against my lips sweetly.

Chills ran through my body. I never wanted anything more than him kissing me. I just nodded; words long forgotten. He closed the distance between us, and when our lips finally met, there was a loud thunder rumbling the world, lighting flashing around us and rain pouring from above, washing away our past where we said a lot of stupid things to each other. We could start with a clear page, melting our futures together. Our lips never stopped moving, it felt like heaven and hell met with each other as our lips moved against the other’s, just like when we were racing, both of us tried to win the other over. I welcomed San's darkness wholeheartedly and tried to scare it away with my light.

Then suddenly the rain stopped, and we separated from each other, looking up at the sky. The clouds were gone and the full moon was shining so brightly it looked like it was almost daylight.

I chuckled looking up, "You should apply to be a weatherman."

San was gazing at me so lovingly I felt like I was going to melt right there, "See? Now you can come with me, I want to show you something."

He held my hands.

"Okay, I should bring my bike then." I smiled at him, feeling as happiness crawled into my chest.

"It would be more proper if I was the one taking you there, but I want to race you." He held my waist and pecked my lips a few times. I still needed to get used to this San. I really liked it.

"I'm going to beat you." I scrunched my nose cutely.

"Okay, princess, but first, go change. I don't want you to catch a cold." He caressed my cheekbones.

"I'll bring you some clothes of dad’s, you'll catch a cold too otherwise." I kissed him quickly and then went inside the house, smiling like a fool, to grab some dry clothes.

It was the middle of the night, but two engine sounds cut through the late-night life. We were going up on winding roads, forests covering both sides of the road. I was laughing beneath my helmet as San goofed around, slowing down and then speeding again. I think I have never felt more happier than right now. It was pure freedom going through these curvy roads, racing against each other. But in the end, it was just the two of us sharing our passion, riding our motorbikes, the moon shining upon us brightly, guiding our roads, showing our future ahead of us.

I finally knew I belonged somewhere, to someone. It was my hometown, and Choi San.

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unnoticed-poison · 7 months

Text

𝚈𝚊𝚗𝚍𝚎𝚛𝚎! 𝙳𝚊𝚛𝚔! 𝙷𝚊𝚣𝚋𝚒𝚗 𝙷𝚘𝚝𝚎𝚕 𝚅𝚊𝚛𝚒𝚘𝚞𝚜 𝚇 𝚁𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚎𝚛 °【 𝕮𝖍𝖆𝖕𝖙𝖊𝖗 𝟑 】°

【 𝕿𝖗𝖆𝖎𝖑𝖊𝖗 𝕮𝖍𝖆𝖕 】

【 𝕮𝖍𝖆𝖕𝖙𝖊𝖗 𝟏 】

【 𝕮𝖍𝖆𝖕𝖙𝖊𝖗 𝟐 】

【 𝕮𝖍𝖆𝖕𝖙𝖊𝖗 𝟑 】

【 𝕮𝖍𝖆𝖕𝖙𝖊𝖗 𝟒 】 𝕻𝖆𝖗𝖙 1

【 𝕮𝖍𝖆𝖕𝖙𝖊𝖗 𝟒 】 𝕻𝖆𝖗𝖙 2

So I forgot I explained the situation in my other yandere fic but not this one so I'll do it now so everyone will know.

The reason some girls are genderbend is because I can't exactly write yaoi or yuri cause of my religion, the most I could do for them is turn them into males so they can be romantic yanderes, hope you guys understand.

Also because I like to write genderbend as well.

The treatment Valentino gives Angel Dust will be mentioned of course, and not all the girls will be genderbend, it depends on how the story will go.

So anyways enjoy the chapter ❣️

˖๑‧˚꒷꒦₊꒷꒦︶︶₊꒷꒦˚‧๑˖𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 ˖๑‧˚꒷꒦︶︶₊꒷꒦₊꒷꒦˚‧๑˖

Things were not going so well for Charles at the meeting.

"And then I went ahead and invited her to my place-"

This 𝘧𝘶𝘤𝘬𝘦𝘳 won't stop babbling about useless stuff and avoiding the topic at hand.

"- I failed to seduce her since she's so oblivious, but I can always try again next time," Adam said nonchalantly, taking a bite out of the rib as he glanced at him. "So what did you do this weekend?"

"Sir." The exterminator standing behind Adam looked less than thrilled while listening to his boss's chattering as well. " There's only a few minutes left for the meeting."

"Really? Oh well, you can start talking then."

Fucking finally.

Charles stood up after clearing his throat, holding up his papers as he started explaining the situation at hand.

"So I'm sure you're well aware of the overpopulation issue we're currently facing, I would like to suggest-"

Adam interrupted him. "OH that's not a problem at all! we're taking care of that just fine, Lute!" He called out as Lute stepped closer to him. "How many demons did you kill this year?"

The exterminator's voice was blunt as he answered. "Got a good 275 sir."

"275!? Badass! Awesome job danger dick." They fist-bumped as he said this, making the demon frown.

They're proud of that..?

"You know those are my people, right..?"

Adam laughed. "Of course! And that's what makes it even better!"

Resisting the urge to roll his eyes, Charles continued. "As I was saying, all our problems will be solved if we rehab those sinners and cleanse all their souls so they can join you guys in heaven and the extermination won't be needed anymore!"

He explained as fast as he could while holding up each paper. " The redeeming process will take place in my hote-"

"That's enough."

Huh?

"But I haven't finished yet-"

"I've heard more than enough, if what you're suggesting is letting those miserable fuckers climb up the ladder then you can forget about it, that's the dumbest idea I've ever heard in my long, loooong life."

"Everyone makes mistakes! They can redeem themselves-"

"They had the chance to do that when they were 𝘢𝘭𝘪𝘷𝘦, now that they've earned damnation, it's no one's fault but their own," Lute spoke in a scornful tone, his eyes narrowed in disgust. "And for your information, angels 𝘥𝘰𝘯'𝘵 make mistakes."

Charles narrowed his eyes at him in return. " You really think so."

The man smirked. "I 𝘬𝘯𝘰𝘸 so."

Adam, visibly annoyed, slammed his hands on the table, making them both stop. "Alright that's enough!"

He rose to his feet and made his way over to Charles until they were standing face to face. " Look here pal, hell is forever and there's nothing, and I mean absolutely 𝘯𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 you can do about it, so I suggest you give up now, and I'll pretend I never heard any of that bullshit."

A sneer of contempt crept over his face as he towered over the boy, he looked too much like his father, just looking at him made him 𝘴𝘪𝘤𝘬.

"You should consider yourself lucky that damned snake gave you a pardon from the extermination or else you and your hellborn kind would've been dead a long time ago."

Charles could feel his blood boil, his face flushed in rage as he scowled at him.

This damned bastard-

Before he had a chance to respond, the angel suddenly stepped back.

"And now that I've got your and the audience's attention, I would like to announce that we've made a determination!" With a triumphant smirk, Adam turned his head to stare directly at where the camera was.

...?

Confused, Charles turned his head to where Adam was looking.

....

Shit!

There was a camera?!!

How come he didn't notice it!

"-To move up the next extermination."

What?!

"Wait a second that's not-!"

"I can't wait a whole year to slaughter those little cunts, I know the day just finished, but we'll be back in six months!" Taking hold of both the drone and Charles's hand, he sent a menacing smile to the camera. " Enjoy those next few months dear sinners! Cause they might be your last."

Once he said that, he roughly threw them out of the room and returned to his seat while bursting into a fit of laughter.

"Wait!" The demon exclaimed, papers scattered around him as he tried to enter the room again. "Hold on a moment!"

"Now where is my favorite angel-" was the last thing he heard Adam say before the door slammed shut in his face.

......

Frustrated beyond words, his face scrunched up in anger as he slammed his fist into the door.

"Fuck!"

This was not how this was supposed to go!

He made things WORSE.

He then heard a voice come from the small drone.

"Looks like Lucifer's brat fucked things up for us all! What a shocker, I'm sure your father will be 𝘵𝘩𝘳𝘪𝘭𝘭𝘦𝘥."

....

He squeezed his eyes shut, letting out a deep sigh as he dropped his head, feeling defeated.

"Excuse me, are those yours?"

Huh?

Charles lifted his head and looked over his shoulder.

Despite the woman being out of uniform and wearing a simple dress, he was certain that she was one of the angels with the wings and halo.

Moreover, the giant hammer in her hand, still dripping with blood, served as a stark reminder of her rank.

Her other hand was holding the papers he drew at the hotel, with a basket hanging from her wrist.

Was that an egg?

Despite being a little disturbed by the sight, he couldn't help but be drawn by her looks.

She's pretty...

"Sir?"

Charles snapped out of it, a flush spread across his cheeks when he realized he'd been staring too long.

With a sheepish nod, he stood up and brushed off his clothes as he went over to you.

"Oh yeah they're mine!"

With a nod, you extended the papers. "Here you go then." You said, handing him the papers, some were stained with blood.

He looked at the stained papers for a moment before taking them off your hand. "Am.. thanks."

"No problem, have a nice day."

With that being said, you walked past him and towards the room he just got kicked out of.

His eyes followed your back for a moment, letting out a heavy sigh and turning around to leave when he suddenly paused in his tracks.

Wait..

𝘚𝘩𝘦'𝘴 𝘰𝘯 𝘩𝘦𝘳 𝘸𝘢𝘺 𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦

𝘐 𝘧𝘢𝘪𝘭𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘰 𝘴𝘦𝘥𝘶𝘤𝘦 𝘩𝘦𝘳

𝘞𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘦'𝘴 𝘮𝘺 𝘧𝘢𝘷𝘰𝘳𝘪𝘵𝘦 𝘢𝘯𝘨𝘦𝘭?

Perhaps you're the one that arrogant prick was talking about?

𝘍𝘢𝘷𝘰𝘳𝘪𝘵𝘦..𝘴𝘦𝘥𝘶𝘤𝘦...

Maybe it wasn't too late yet!

If he could convince you of his project then maybe...

Perhaps you could help change Adam's mind as well!

Or at the very least move the extermination back to once a year like usual.

"Miss! Please wait!"

Turning back, he quickly headed over to you.

Upon hearing that, you paused and turned back to him with a raised brow. "Do you need anything?"

"I'd like to speak with you about something urgent."

You silently glanced back at the door and then back at the blonde, you had arrived just in time to witness him get thrown out by your boss.

So you had a pretty good guess on why he wanted to discuss with you.

"I'm sorry but my boss's words are final, I have no say in them, so whatever you spoke with him about I can't do anything."

That was mostly a lie, but the blonde didn't need to know that.

"Please! I beg you, it will only take a minute."

Gazing at the sheer desperation on the man's face, you couldn't help but feel a pang of sympathy for him.

..........

.....

Damnit.

You finally let out a sigh. "Go ahead, I can't promise anything though."

Charles's face lit up with happiness as he gave you a beaming smile.

"Thank you!"

Despite your visible disinterest, the man excitedly explained his entire project to you in detail.

There might be hope to clean up the mess he made after all.

˖๑‧˚꒷꒦₊꒷꒦︶︶₊꒷꒦˚‧๑˖𓆩ꨄ︎𓆪 ˖๑‧˚꒷꒦︶︶₊꒷꒦₊꒷꒦˚‧๑˖

Hope you guys liked the chapter!

I really need to focus back on my Yandere Animation Studios fic, that thing only has the trailer chap posted 😭

Anyways until next time ❣️

#yandere hazbin hotel x reader #yandere hazbin hotel

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starsandhughes · 10 months

Text

Penalty Box— Quinn Hughes Edition (Fourteen)

23-24 Season Masterlist

previous: thirteen

next: fifteen

i'm desperately trying to catch up i’m so sorry

NOVEMBER 16, 2023

yourusername

liked by trevorzegras, _quinnhughes, and 20,566 others

yourusername welcome back to my postgame penalty box update show: quinn finally did me a solid edition!

the first notable thing to happen in this game occurred at 7:05 in the first period— ‼️QUINN GOT A TRIPPING PENALTY‼️the second picture shows him pouting, probably because he knew i was going to be elated over this and he hates to see me happy

AND THEN a flame (ruzicka) tripped petey, which created a 4 on 4 for 1 minute and 17 seconds. nobody scored on the 4 on 4, but guess who did once quinn got out on parole? PETEY! THAT'S WHO! and milsy assisted on it! oh yeah! and quinn did, too! (his 21st assist ;))

this has made quinn have the third most career assists for a defenseman in their first 300 games! did i forget to mention that this was his 300th game? because it was!

onto the second period! quinn got hit and he fell down and hronek tried to throw hands in his honor but neither him nor the flame (pospisil) really succeeded in that, but they both got two for roughing anyways (i’d call it aggressive hugging but whatever works i guess)

then quinny baby let some agression out and slashed coleman (a flame) after he was interfered with while facing him, knocking the stick out of his hands! that's my big brother! don't take that shit! they both got a penalty, quinn's being his second (i cheered) and we had ourselves a 3 on 3 that trickled into the third!

sadly, the universe only liked me a little bit. while i was elated by quinn getting two penalties, it was a hard nuck life tonight (get it?) and we lost 5-2 :(

anyways! congratulations on having played 300 nhl games, huggy buggy! i love you way past infinity🩵

tagged _quinnhughes

view all 204 comments

_quinnhughes (i get it) (you're not funny) i love you way past beyond, sissy!

yourusername okay rude

jackhughes @_quinnhughes i agree

yourusername @/jackhughes i repeat: RUDE

trevorzegras @/yourusername i think you're hilarious and my opinion is worth more than theirs

yourusername @/trevorzegras awww i can't wait to be contractually obligated to love you always <3

trevorzegras @/yourusername i already love you forever

jackhughes @/trevorzegras @/yourusername your love is ruining the vibes

yourusername @/jackhughes i will stab you

jackhughes @/yourusername you're across the country

yourusername @/jackhughes i have my ways

lhughes_06 @_quinnhughes rack up those penalty minutes, bro! so proud!

_quinnhughes @/lhughes_06 you've been talking to sissy too much

lhughes_06 @_quinnhughes no, jack's been talking to sissy too much. i’ve just had the displeasure of being around for it

yourusername @/lhughes_06 you came home from practice the other day and stole his phone to talk to me?????

lhughes_06 @/yourusername don't gaslight our brother like that

jackhughes @/lhughes_06 you actually did that though?

lhughes_06 @_quinnhughes don't listen to them. the twins are conspiring against me.

_quinnhughes @/lhughes_06 i think you're the one that's conspiring against me

lhughes_06 @_quinnhughes your sissy favoritism is showing, quintin

yourusername @/lhughes_06 suck it <3

user24 THE SCARED AND HIGH PICS ARE BACK! THE UNIVERSE IS BALANCED!

user6 you've heard of mr. 305, now get ready for mr. 300

trevorzegras @_quinnhughes she tried to count your total time on ice for all three hundred games

_quinnhughes @/trevorzegras did she implode?

trevorzegras @_quinnhughes i don't know but she was going through a lot

yourusername @_quinnhughes i quit when i got to over three days because i noticed i made a mistake and didn't know if made other ones so i didn't want to be wrong and then i cried

_quinnhughes @/yourusername you tried so hard! i appreciate it and i’m proud of you!

trevorzegras @_quinnhughes she is now under my shirt

user79 oh my god quinn's pout is so babygirl😭

_eliaspettersson i’d like more praise

yourusername who do you think you are? the queen?

_eliaspettersson you call me your blonde king

yourusername irrelevant.

_eliaspettersson extremely relevant.

yourusername i love you, you're doing amazing sweetie, now go away

_eliaspettersson i love you, too!

_quinnhughes @/trevorzegras is she seething?

trevorzegras @_quinnhughes no but she's got the cutest grumpy pout on her face

yourusername @/trevorzegras 2 minute penalty for making me more grumpy. go sit in the bathtub.

user90 flipping my shit over "huggy buggy" that's so heckin cute🥹

colecaufield 300 games just like that, huh? i could've sworn we just played against the michigan wolverines last week! congrats, bud! @_quinnhughes

yourusername ah yes, the first and only time i wore my "i just hope everyone has fun" shirt

jackhughes and then i burned it!

colecaufield @/jackhughes you just threw it in the lake

jackhughes @/colecaufield you couldn't have let me have my moment?

yourusername @/jackhughes he's on team sissy! translation: fuck you😌🤍

jackhughes @/yourusername when was the last time you were nice to me?

yourusername @/jackhughes i sent you a "sorry you're dying" gift box november 5th and you got it on the 10th and umm... WE HAVE FACETIMED EVERY DAY FOR TWO WEEKS

jackhughes @/yourusername you're so obsessed with me

yourusername @/jackhughes i will send you a glitter bomb

colecaufield @/yourusername DO IT! DO IT! DO IT!

jackhughes @/colecaufield you're so unhelpful

colecaufield @/jackhughes <3

_quinnhughes @/colecaufield i'm ignoring all of that to say thank you

_quinnhughes @/yourusername @/jackhughes this is about me so i’m going to need you two to stop

yourusername @_quinnhughes mmf

jackhughes @_quinnhughes what she said

lhughes_06 @_quinnhughes i’d take them agreeing as a win

_quinnhughes @/lhughes_06 i am don't worry

user82 he has more than one expression now! he's growing!

user64 canucks lost but sissy won! so that cancels out the loss! pemdas!

_alexturcotte remember when you used to root for the flames? what a time that was

yourusername i was rooting for MATTY! there's a difference

lhughes_06 @_alexturcotte you didn't have to experience the mess that she was the entire flames vs stars playoff series with her. it was not "a time." it was hell.

jackhughes oh my god that was a nightmare

_quinnhughes i still get nightmares

trevorzegras i get war flashbacks every time the stars play against the flames

jamie.drysdale i only experienced this through facetimes and not even that was fun

colecaufield @_alexturcotte sounds like we lucked out

_alexturcotte @/lhughes_06 @/jackhughes @_quinnhughes @/trevorzegras @.jamie.drysdale i’m sorry about your lives

yourusername LISTEN I HAD SO MANY MIXED EMOTIONS OKAY?! I LOVE MATTY BUT I LOVE THE STARS! IT WAS TRAUMATIC

jackhughes @/yourusername and you traumatized us!

yourusername @/jackhughes for solidarity!

lhughes_06 @/yourusername what if we didn't want solidarity? did you ever think about our wants?

yourusername @/lhughes_06 not even once

user29 everybody say it with me: FUCK THE FLAMES

liked by yourusername

jackhughes it's a hard nuck life for us

yourusername it's a hard nuck life for us! instead of winning, we get whipped

jackhughes instead of cheers, we cause tears

yourusername it's a hard nuck life!

_quinnhughes @/yourusername @/jackhughes i'm so done with both of you

trevorzegras HA

_quinnhughes @/trevorzegras i’m done with you, too

trevorzegras @_quinnhughes that's not new

yourusername @_quinnhughes we love youuuuu

jackhughes @_quinnhughes sooooo much!

_quinnhughes @/yourusername @/jackhughes "mmf" -sissy

#penalty box series #penalty box series: quinn hughes edition #quinn hughes #quinn hughes imagine #quinn hughes fic #quinn hughes insta edit #quinn hughes au #trevor zegras #trevor zegras x reader #jack hughes #luke hughes #cole caufield #alex turcotte #jack hughes imagine #luke hughes imagine #nhl imagine #hockey imagine #hockey fic #trevor zegras imagine

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profounddefendorcrusade-blog · 6 months

Text

I feel bad for Starlo.

Star has a point, idk what the four were ticked off about, there is like 99% chance everyone willingly participated in the trolley problem, based on what we've seen of his behavior thus far it's not like Starlo to be that big of a jerk/drag them by force/yell at them to do it. Ed's words:

he does it because Star asks NICELY

clearly jealous

It genuinely seemed like a fun time/fun roleplay, especially since every day is the same. Like, the five are supposed to be a rowdy and adventures bunch, what exactly did Starlo do wrong, I'm genuinely confused and curious. Except taking a big liking in Clover (his posse should know that this is a big moment for him, according to Blackjack they've known each other since high school and had the same liking for westerns. So they were basically a nerd gang.) Starlo was kind, patient and considerate towards Clover the whole time, even warned Mooch about them not being bandits, taught Clover gun safety, wanted to bring his posse along for a fun time, thanked Ace for telling him about getting Clover a new hat...

Sure, at first he only liked Clover for being a human, but as Ceroba says, that changed and he grew to genuinely care about them, plus I can't help but think Star saw himself in Clover and that's part of the reason he was so proud of them all the time even when they messed up (I'll talk more about this at some point)

What exactly made Ace want to leave the gang? He even said how he doesn't mind "getting run over by the fake train"

he's so nice. says sorry for forgetting the safety goggles even when he was scatterbrained due to his excitement. I love him so much

The only real "faults" (I'll call them temporary faults) I saw in Star during the Wild East section was that he was even more enthusiastic and more proud than usual. But how couldn't he be when he met a member of the species that he has admired for so long because they have real cowboys and sheriffs on the surface (who are seen as brave heroes who deliver justice, while Star canonically feels like a nobody farmer). His posse should have realized Clover wouldn't be there forever and just let their boss enjoy himself with his "deputy who'd have to leave sooner or later anyway"(or be more patient with him/ask him why he feels this strongly towards Clover/if there's a deeper reason for that). His friends including Ceroba just turn their back on him so quickly instead. The moment he's gotten the chance to feel valued for once and put himself first and not have to take care of this whole town and everyone in it and live his dream of meeting a real human, suddenly "his personality is damaged?"

Star's literally built this whole town, organised everything, he worries about everyone, Ceroba (plus was the one to give her emotional strength before and after Clover's sacrifice), Kanako, the monsters, his family, struggles with feelings of worthlessness yet never wipes that smile off his face, always does his best to be hopeful and optimistic and make others laugh, gave his posse a nap time so they don't become exhausted, gave Ceroba a free home, didn't act upon his feelings towards her and was a 110% supportive, caring friend instead. THAT'S who he is. He's the papa bear of this friend group, the glue holding everyone together.

He was just *really* excited. Y'all know he's insecure and just wishes to escape who he is and yet y'all blame him for liking Clover so much. Yeah, the four are very clearly jealous. But why won't the four of you control your feelings for a while? As mentioned, Clover WILL HAVE TO LEAVE EVENTUALLY. They won't be Star's "deputy" forever (the kid who's just as into westerns as he is, who values justice just as much, who also values doing the right thing. Someone he clearly felt understood in the presence of, whom he loved; just look at the way he talks about Clove during Showdown). Star seems genuinely confused of what he did wrong poor guy just wanted to live his fantasy for once and feel important:

Even at the beginning Moray's like "oh no Martlet is upset" Mooch replies "don't be a buzzkill nothing exciting ever happens around here" and Ray's like "Yeah you've got a point"

If you all agreed to have a little fun with a human who will very soon leave forever why is Starlo's enthusiasm such a big problem? If the posse weren't into this after all (unless they were simply too jealous which could have been solved with a honest talk and a little patience) why are you doing this "rowdy" job with Star in the first place? Do you want your boring routine day to day life so much back? Or just for Clover to leave (which they will soon enough)? You, western enthusiasts, literally met a real human, A HUMAN FROM WESTERNS YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO BE PASSIONATELY INTO (clearly not as passionate as Star but passionate ENOUGH to understand where he's coming from).

... okay.

#Like idk if I'm being biased because Star is my favorite character but I kinda just started thinking more and more about this and... yeesh.#Felt like a BIT of an overreaction to blame Starlo this much #No wonder he cracked #and unlike with Ceroba we actually see him do his very best to “fix” what he did “wrong”#i feel so much sympathy for this guy man #WAY more than for Ceroba #sorry fox lady #uty #undertale yellow #starlo uty #uty starlo #like dude literally had to come crawling on his hands and knees for them to forgive him #what “loyal” “supportive” friends they all are #sobbing for star #poor poor man #meanwhile everyone forgave ceroba for much much MUCH worse #she didn't need to burst into tears and beg for forgiveness even though she SHOULD have #everyone forgives her immediately on the spot + she gets a hug from clover #I'm sorry Starlo #like how was he “selfish” and “reckless”#he did something for himself for the 1st time in his life #y'all are reckless too btw #you put yourself first ONCE and they call you selfish #Star had the right to be mad at them for attacking Clover for no reason other than jealousy #wdym he's throwing you around for human business you literally wanted this #he watched the tapes more than 50 times bc that's how much he hates himself #and yet he's still been doing EVERYTHING in his power to be there for EVERYBODY

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seangelfish · 7 months

Text

Meet and Greet

Jun Sazanami x Reader ♡ Tags: Fluff, established relationship, romance, no mention of pronouns ♡ Word count: 864 ♡ Synopsis: An idol like yourself shouldn't be spotted at events like this. That's just too risky! But you're here anyway to not only experience what it's like from the fan's point of view, but also to surprise your boyfriend, Jun Sazanami from Eve. ♡ A/N: Had this in the drafts for a while and it is finally finished! I miss my Jun Sazanami phase~ I still love him and he will forever be my dream boyfriend.

Your hair was tied back with a black cap covering your head. Over your eyes laid a pair of dark shades and a mask to cover your mouth. This was the perfect disguise for you to go see your boyfriend at his meet and greet. After all, you were an idol at the same agency he was in, so you had to be careful about being recognised by his fans.

However, what you really came dressed in was not the disguise you should've gone for, but a casual outfit instead. Sure, you still covered your head with a cap, but your whole face was exposed which could lead to trouble.

You thought otherwise though because despite being a popular idol at Cos Pro, you were still going to attend a meet and greet for Eve, a unit that attracts all eyes. So, you didn't need to worry about being recognised as everyone's attention would be only on them. You doubted anyone would look your way if the Hiyori Tomoe and Jun Sazanami were in the same room as them.

You entered the line, awaiting your turn to meet Eve. For some reason, the idea of being here as a fan when you were an idol was absolutely nerve-racking. Maybe you should've gone in disguise? It was too late now as the line started moving forward, yet thankfully enough, as you expected, no one batted an eye at you.

And despite feeling so nervous, you felt a sensation of excitement brew in you. You were going to see your boyfriend from a different perspective! This is so exciting! you thought to yourself happily. I can't wait to see him!

You hummed a little tune to yourself as you watched fans squeal in delight as they readied themselves to shake their favourite idols' hands.

The venue was crowded with girls which wasn't a surprise to you since Eve catered towards that demographic, but a part of you couldn't help but feel a little bit jealous when Jun would dish out his attention to them. At the same time, you were proud of him. He looked so happy and fulfilled to be given such love for his hard work. It was his dream to become an idol, so seeing him smile so brightly like this only made your heart flutter.

"Thank you for supporting me and Eve," he said politely, shaking a fan's hand firmly. "I appreciate it so much."

"O-Of course!" they would bashfully reply, a slight blush appearing on their cheeks. "I will always be your fan!"

You sighed contently at this. You were nearing the front of the line now, so you readied yourself as you stepped in front of the dark blue-haired boy.

Before you could greet him though, his eyes widened at your figure in front of him.

"(Y/N), w-what are you doing here?" he hissed worriedly. "You're not even wearing a mask! Did anyone recognise you? I hope you didn't get harassed... I'll call security later to escort you out, but you shouldn't..."

Despite the shock in his eyes, you could see how they lit up when he saw you.

"Don't worry, Jun," you whispered back. "No one recognised me!"

He sighed but smiled. "Alright, let's get this over with. Take my hands."

You placed your hands in his. As expected, they were calloused and rough, but at the same time, soft. Your boyfriend shook your hands gently, but his grip was tight as if he didn't want to let you go.

"Thank you for coming here to visit me!" he exclaimed. "I appreciate your support so much!"

His usual lines. He really was taking this seriously so that no one would spot you.

You grinned, then said, "Jun, I'm so proud of you. Do you know exactly why I'm here? I'm here to tell you that you've been doing such a good job getting to this point. You've worked so hard and it's admirable. I hope that you keep at it, that life continues to treat you well."

He looked at you dazed, but his eyes glistened. He wasn't sure if it was the lights that had him squinting like this, but your words did take an emotional toll on him.

"And remember that you're loved," you continued.

At that point, he knew that it was you – the reason why his eyes started to water. Your words touched his heart, and hearing them from you made it all worthwhile that he was here, existing, as an idol.

"T-Thank you..." he stammered out. "I really am happy that you're here, (Y/N)–"

"20 seconds left!" reminded one of employees.

"My time's nearly up, Jun," you stated. "Have a good rest of your day. I love you."

You whispered the last part, but only for Jun to hear. Thankfully, he caught it amid chatter.

"I love you too," he whispered back.

"Next!"

You unlinked your hands from Jun's, then stepped away from the table to chat with Hiyori. Jun continued his job greeting the next fans in line, but from the corner of his eye, he kept looking at you, hoping that you, his lover, would have a good day too.

Intro page | Ensemble Stars masterlist | Rules

#ensemble stars x reader #enstars x reader #eden x reader #jun sazanami x reader #ensemble stars #enstars #fanfic #x reader #jun sazanami fanfic #jun sazanami x reader fluff #enstars eden x reader #jun sazanami x y/n

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elizais · 8 months

Note

Hello how are you? Have you drunk water today? stay hydrated!!

Anyway, I wanted to ask for chuuya x reader where she has light pink or lilac hair and loves colorful things like different accessories, trinkets in her hair, lively clothes, you know? He always dresses up in a cool but beautiful way, and because of his style he attracts attention

i'm good thank you so much for asking!! i wrote them as headcannons xx

chuuya x reader!! cutesy stuff i lovee this request thank you anon! headcannons !

-to start with, he adores your hair colour! the way it perfectly matches you and how you style it perfectly.

-when he first meets you, he is immediately drawn to the way you look. not in a way that he only cares about your appearance but in the way that it is you and he loves everything about you !

-when you begin to start dating, you don't want him buying you anything expensive like necklaces so he settles for the cutest pieces for you.

-sparkly little barrettes are his go to for you, he once bought a clip with pearls and he thought he broke you when he saw your overjoyed reaction.

-whilst he would never admit it, having orange hair wasn't his favourite thing but having someone as cute as you with bright hair made him incredibly happy.

-he can't even express how much he loves when you tie your hair with a ribbon or a bow, seeing you all happy makes him feel like his heart will explode!!!

-not to mention how he dresses in a very sophisticated way, given the PM members all seem to dress very formally but he just likes dressing that way! but the way you contradict his very proper clothing definitely makes the stubborn man more adventurous.

-maybe you're slowly introducing a light pink dress shirt into his wardrobe..

-when you are introduced to everyone at the PM as his partner romantically, how someone who usually came off as grumpy and had a very dark sense of clothing was with you definitely felt like a yin and yang type of dynamic.

-also idk why but when i read the bit about hair colour i had to think about the motorcycle!! he probably used to make the argument that "it's definitely red, [name]." but now he is willing to say its pinky red if that makes you happy.

-maybe like when you come home and see him half asleep, sat on the couch after a stressful day at work he would let you play with his hair.

"[name]?" chuuya asked when his mind registered his hair was being brushed as he was half asleep. his eyes still closed. "yesss?" you asked. "what are you doing?" he grumbled. "dressing up your hair" he could hear the smile in your voice, whilst this was not his preferred activity if he could sleep as you done it he was more than happy. chuuya responded with a hum before falling into a light sleep. his hair was decorated with barrettes, bows, small flower clips, and a braid on one side with pins in it. proud of your creation, you stood up and took a photo of your lover with his new hairdo. he wouldn't be able to keep it in forever but kept them in until it was time for actually going to bed. the next day he turns on your phone to check the time on your lock screen to be met with the photo of him.

#bungou stray dogs #bsd #bungo stray dogs #bungou stray dogs x reader #port mafia #bungo stray dogs x reader #chuuya bsd #chuuya nakahara x reader #chuuya x reader #bsd chuuya #chuuya nakahara #chuya nakahara #nakahara chūya

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slitheringghost · 4 months

Note

I think you may have turned me into a rabid Lilypad shipper. Do you have any fic recs? 😻😻

I'm so glad, they are The Best ship and deserve all the love. I've recced most of these before and there aren't that many because it's such a rarepair, but here you go:

a meeting of the minds by @slashmarks (Sirius/Lily, 3.6k, E)

Sixth year, surrounded by political chaos and grieving the loss of her best friend, Lily says yes when Sirius asks her out.

"And I remember you wear green when you're out of uniform a lot, and most Gryffindors don't, so I thought that might be your pillow case from home." "You remember what I wear?" Lily said. "I always notice," Sirius said, and blushed. Lily suspected this of being a line but he'd pulled it off well. - Would it be so bad, really, she thought, hazy with arousal, if he got her pregnant? --if she had him not just for a few weeks, but for the rest of their lives? --if he stayed?

we're already in the aftermath by slashmarks (Sirius/Remus/Lily, 15.8k, T)

Lily's plan to defeat Voldemort forever and leave her and Harry safe succeeds - and leaves her struggling with guilt over James's death even as she has no one left but James's best friends. In the meantime, the Ministry carries on as usual. The war is dead, long live the war: they're losing the peace instead.

Loyal, industrious Sirius. Lily didn't deserve him, but she wasn't going to turn his service down. Anyway it wouldn't be helping him if she did; Sirius had been born and raised to serve an ideal, had only managed to substitute it out and not break that programming, and wouldn't have the faintest idea what to do with himself with the war over if she wasn't willing to substitute.

flickering light in an endless night by @gracelesslady23 (Sirius/James/Lily, Pre-Relationship, 4.5k, M)

Harry Potter is dead, taking Voldemort with him. While the rest of their world celebrates, Lily, James and Sirius struggle with their grief.

“Stop playing with him, Sirius.” She was surprised by how clipped her tone was, when she felt only moments away from falling apart. Sirius’ vicious expression fell as he turned back to her, contrite and obedient once more. It struck again her how wrong that expression looked on Sirius’ proud, aristocratic features.

Unwanted Reflections by zeldadestry (Sirius/Lily, Sirius & Lily & Regulus, 1.2k)

Lily is married to Sirius instead of James.

“I’m just as good as you in a duel, and you know it. It’s safer if we go together.” She knows what he’s going to say next, so she pre-empts him. “Don’t you dare mention the baby.” Horrible as it might sound, the baby, although it’s alive inside her, still feels like a far off possibility. Sirius is already here, already hers, and the intensity of her concern for the baby is nothing compared to the fear of losing him.

I'll never leave if you keep your eyes on me by camichats (Sirius/Lily, Sirius & James, 5.3k, T)

Sirius is falling for Lily, but he knows that it can never happen. She's not just James's ex-girlfriend, she's his ex-wife. There are rules about this sort of thing, no matter how great Sirius and Lily get on.

Lily raised her eyebrows at him. "Sirius, are you in love?" "Are you going to answer the question or not?" "I didn't do anything. He's not interested, and it's nice to be interested in someone again. After falling out of love with James, I was sort of worried that I didn't have it in me anymore. Now answer my question. Are you in love?"

The Kind of World Where We Belong by @shaggydogstail (Sirius/Lily, 21k, E)

A teen elopement to defy the new Decree for the Protection of Wizarding Purity seemed like a great prank at the Ministry’s expense. As time goes on, though, both Sirius and Lily might well have reason to wonder if the joke’s really on them.

‘I… you what?’ Lily flushed a little redder and mumbled a vague, ‘You heard me.’ As proposals go, it wasn’t the grandest or the most romantic. Sirius kept staring at Lily like she was a Quaffle short of a Quidditch match, and Lily wondered, not for the first time, if this wasn’t the stupidest idea she’d ever had. She must’ve been desperate to think this was a good idea.

Fics I haven't read yet but I know will be good

defector of a kind by slashmarks (Sirius/Lily, Lily & Marlene, Sirius & Orion, 7.8k, T)

Lily encounters Orion Black at a Christmas party, settles one miscommunication, and sets herself, Sirius, and the Black family on a very different path.

the deception of the thrush by slashmarks (Sirius/Bellatrix, Sirius/Lily, Bellatrix/Voldemort, 12.7k, E)

Over eight years after Sirius Black stayed Secret Keeper and an unvanquished Voldemort took the Ministry late in 1981, James has left the country to draw the search for the prophecy child away. Meanwhile, Sirius struggles to balance helping his other best friend, trapped under a Fidelius Charm, and his cousin, trapped in the Dark Lord's bed. But Lily and Harry can only survive in hiding for so long.

Scandalous by @annabtg (Sirius/Lily, James/Lily, 4.9k, M)

Sirius Black attends Lucius Malfoy and Narcissa Black's wedding, with a controversial choice of a plus-one and the explicit intention of stirring up drama.

If anyone has any more recs feel free to add on!

#sirius black #sirius orion black #lily evans #lily evans potter #lilypad #jilypad #hp fic recs #my fic recs #regulus black #marlene mckinnon #asks

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lookismaddict · 2 years

Text

Lookism Chapter 440 Memes/Thoughts I Have:

(SPOILERS !!! I don’t own any of the Lookism panels and the translations. Only the memes that I made.)

Wooooo weeeeee, another chapter this week! LET'S GOOOOOOOO!!! Also, I'm so sorry for worrying y'all for my absence these past few days but after this review is posted, Imma disappear again. 😭 At this point, my chapter reviews might not be posted on time and will be late to post frequently now. Also, don't mind me changing the color of the title every 10 chapters... *Ahem* Anyways-

RIGHT OFF THE BAT, THESE HOTTIES:

Ughhh... God, the fan service here. Thanks PTJ, you the man. 😩✋🏽 Also, the way Jibeom just acted like nothing happened by saying, "SORRY!" UH HA HA HA HA HA HA... 🧍🏽‍♀️💢 Nah, we allies now. Gotta forgive, right? And Jihan too... 🧍🏽‍♀️💢💢 Man, y'all just got your asses beat for no reason. This reminds me of those anime with the MC's fighting the enemies, and then they end up becoming allies with the "power of friendship". Behold, the power of friendship everyone.

Ok, but Imma be honest. Every time I see Hudson now, I squeal like a fangirl at a BTS concert. And suddenly seeing him... NAKED? RIGHT OFF THE BAT? My loyalty for Gun is REALLY being tested. Wtf man. Also, the snakes though? That's wild. 😭

Yeah, that panel really wrecked me. Physically and emotionally.

Oh, of course. Also, debt? Huh? 🤔

Yeah man, we need to know!!! WE'VE BEEN DYING TO KNOWWWWWWWW. Whenever I hear "Young Master", it reminds me of a butler saying that. As if Daniel is being treated by a butler. 💀

YESSSSSS FINALLY DANIEL GOT A LEAD TO JINYOUNG!!! 💪🏽

"At least eat before you go." That's so nice of them. Also, "At this rate he'll live here." KSSLDJLFSDHFSLFHDSFH JIHAN PLSSSSS- 💀💀💀💀💀

Oh? Daniel coming up with a big brain plan...? 👀

LET'S GOOOOOOOO DANIEL!! BIG BRAIN MOVE!!! 🤭

Daniel being acknowledged by, not only the man who ended the era of the First Generation, but also, the STRONGEST FIRST GENERATION KING???? Oh god, I love his growth and character development so much. He'll always have my heart forever. 💖 ALSO, THIS WHOLESOME MOMENT WITH JICHANG??? THIS IS TOO CUTE. MY HEART- 😩💗 I WAS SOBBING AT THIS BECAUSE THIS WAS TOO CUTE TO WITNESS. LIKE, LOOK AT HIM PETTING DANIEL'S HEAD, LOOKING LIKE A PROUD UNCLE.

Literally, one of the cutest things I've ever seen in a long time in Lookism.

YUUUSSSSSS, JICHANG IS GONNA HELP HIM EVENTUALLY. 😭😭👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽 I hope they actually do make it to the First Affiliate though. But, if the Elder knew where he was, then does that mean that he knows that Jinyoung is not in his right mind? And does he know that he has people held captive in his little basement? 👀 *coughs* Daniel *coughs* Johan *coughs* Samuel... Sorry guys, I might be getting a cold. Idk what's going on with me.

Ohhhhhh shiiiii... Pls tell me we gonna see Jake here...

AHHHHHHHH I KNEW IT, JAKE!!! BABY BOY IS BACK!!!! 😭💙 Oh shit, I wOnDeR who THAT could be...

Tbh I'm not surprised that he said it was James Lee lol. It has been emphasized by Eugene before when he said in Ch. 432, that he was aware of the murder case that caught the attention of a lot of people. And he also mentioned how Charles Choi had been using blackmail on James Lee to control him in exchange of covering James's part of the murder. Also, earlier in that chapter, I was wondering why Charles would even bother to help in covering up a murder for James if that person that James murdered wasn't so important in the first place. If it was just a "nobody", then he would've just thrown that person somewhere, buried him, or burnt his body and converted it into ashes. Clearly, it all makes sense now. (Also, the red picture gave it away. lmao) AND JAKE, WITH THE TYPICAL "death stare" EXPRESSION WHEN HE FOUND OUT WHO THE MURDERER FOR HIS FATHER'S DEATH WAS??? Is he going to get revenge or something? 😭

But oh boy, James is really gonna get it eventually. Both him and Charles Choi. Actually, DEFINITELY Charles Choi. The guy is literally walking scum in the first place.

You see, Charles Choi is a clown... 😀 *end of argument*

I hope he does. Because if Charles Choi intercepts their operation, I'm going to sue. 😡

Ughhhh, bro... Don't make me cry again, please. 💀💀💀💀

Oh great, speak of the Devil. 👿 FUCK OFF CHARLES, AND STOP RUNNING AWAY FROM YOUR CRIMES, YOU ASSHOLE! 😤

NOOOOOOOOOO FUCK YOUUUUU CHARLES!!! GET AWAY FROM THE ELDER!!!! AGGHHHHHDSFHSDFHASDJDSHFLSD JICHANG!!!! BEAT HIS ASS!!!! TAKE HIS LIMBS OFF!!!! 😤😤😤😤😤

IT'S NOW OR NEVER, MF. I WANT THIS MAN TO SUFFER.

Wait, an "unknown car"? He MUST have a driver with him. Please tell me that his driver is none other than Gun/Goo... Ik this is wishful thinking, but I want to see them again. 😳

YEEEEEEESSSSSS JICHANG, SLAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYY. SLAY KING, SLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY. 😩👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽 HERE'S YOUR CROWN, KING OF CHUNGCHEONG'S KING OF SEOUL'S WHITE SNAKE!! 👑

By choking...? 💀 I mean, I've seen a big ass snake devour a huge animal before, so it's possible Charles. Don't doubt Jichang's abilities, because you might be surprised at how he could MURDER YOU ON SIGHT. 😡😡😡 (And oh god, looking at Elite's face still reminds me of my professor. 😭 *sobbing* But also, with a twist of Manager Kim too.)

I just want his ass to be wiped off the face of the Earth. Both him, and Eugene. But, wait... If Eugene and James Lee are conspiring AGAINST Charles Choi, and everyone else are conspiring against Charles Choi too, then... WHY CAN'T EVERYONE JUST UNITE AND BEAT CHARLES??? They all have a similar goal, yet they decided to do things their own way? Well, I get that they have ulterior motives/goals for them to take down Charles Choi, but at least make it easier for yourselves instead of just handling the crap on your own, right? Fight later, unite now. 🧍🏽‍♀️

Man, idk anymore. Just do whatever tf you guys want at this point. 😭

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hollywoodsargeant · 1 year

Note

Pretty random question, but what are your favourite things about Logan? Like some cute facts/things about him that you like and feel like people should know

I think a lot of people judge him too quickly, he deserves more love and appreciation :((

this is an excellent question anon... clearly i have a lot of things i like about logan. i really like logan. in case if this blog was not enough. BUT. i will yell about a few random things since you asked (+ i agree people are very quick to judge him. give my boy a chance. i cannot tell you how many times i've seen people say stuff like "i wrote him off at first but he actually seems sweet" STOP WRITING HIM OFF THEN!) anyways. Favorite Things

there's a lot of insanity going on here i love logan so much did you know

first and foremost. i love how much he loves his friends... and just how outwardly he loves in general... the "heart on his sleeve" thing does come from somewhere. given really any opportunity he Will talk about his friends and his family and every time it Kills me like :( whenever someone mentions how long he's been racing oscar he talks about it and there's one where it's mentioned he was teammates with oscar back in f4 and he's like "well actually before that too!" idk. surely you know how i feel about logan and oscar but logan has emphasized their friendship more than once and always stresses how they've gotten along so well forever and even being title rivals in f3 never came between them... my little loscar heart...

and still on that. him and kyle. i love kyle kirkwood (indycar driver + friend of logan) if you were not aware and he does the same thing where someone will bring him up and he's like "yeah kyle's my boy!" it makes me so...... put him in his indy 500 top 3 prediction bc he's his buddy and knows he's good was asked Just about key lime pie and had to say "well my friend kyle makes a really good key lime pie" even after he just said he never really eats pie? idk man. he just loves his friends <3

AND HE LOVES WHERE HE'S FROMMM like yes a bit in a patriotic american way and maybe i only like that because i'm american but he is such a hometown guy he clearly loves and misses florida and all the people he still knows who live there. have you seen his 10 things i can't live without interview that video is basically just 8 minutes of logan sargeant loving florida. and he's so cute in that video i love that video but he can and he will talk about being from florida at any given opportunity (+ very much harps on how much he enjoys being out on the water) and i'm sure some people think it's annoying but personally i find it very endearing... and putting the flag on his helmet he is just a proud guy. i care him. he's said he wants to race the indy 500 too which also gets the indycar fan in me but he wants to race it bc it's iconic and idk most f1 drivers don't want to do the 500 bc oval scary (real of them) but logan is like. no i'm Going to do it one day. it's the biggest motorsport event and i will do it. I WILL NOT REST UNTIL HE DOES.

this one is a bit more stupid but i am forever amused by just how much of a younger brother he is. maybe i just relate to him bc i'm also the youngest of two (and my sister and i have pretty much the same gap he has to dalton) but he is so little sibling energy, especially with alex. he's a little menace. particularly evident in the monaco road trip video where alex tells him to lie and he goes along with it while also trying to make alex do it for him (he's so me) and the sandwich challenge where he whines every time alex gets in his way. i know benny's kid calls him his older brother but he is so little brother it's unreal. on the brother note this fucking idiot cracked his rib karting with dalton and that's also hilarious

I DON'T KNOW MAN. i love listening to him talk. i love all his weird little quirks like how much shoulder he puts into his walk and how much he fiddles around and can't sit still and the way he almost seems to make himself smaller?? this guy is nearly six feet tall but he carries himself like a much shorter man i think it's endearing. i'm really endeared to his smile and his smiling habits (see my thesis it's a whole thing) and also all his other weird mouth ticks he has several i love that he always seems to want to be close to people (he's very touchy. if you pay attention) i love how weirdly shy he is (likes sunglasses bc you can hide behind them) i love his incessant need to have perfect hair all of the time like see the monaco video i linked earlier where he's riding in a convertible trying to fix his hair DUDE IT'S NOT GOING TO HAPPEN i love. Him.

man. i just think. that i love logan. he is my favorite for a reason. and even if he is a bit of a rah rah american (i lit listed his americanisms as one of my favorite things i enjoy them) i am slightly tired of him getting written off as just being The American or not having a personality like he's definitely more private about certain parts of his life compared to other drivers but that doesn't mean he lacks personality. maybe he is a little more softspoken too which might not help but it is there!!! he is not a piece of cardboard you just aren't giving him the time of day!!! giving him enough time of day to say he's boring but not enough to actually realize he's not

#ask #i'm sure there's more i could say but let's stop here #thank you for entertaining my nonsense anon #i love asks like this #i love talking #i love logan sargeant #most favoritest guy ever!!!#logan sargeant

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swaglet · 1 month

Note

hi i’m a mutual who’s like fighting hard to not relapse rn. i just moved out and like i just haven’t been eating bc i don’t have my mom to tell me to and my friends up here don’t know about my issues which im not sure they’d believe me bc im currently overweight anyways

anon don't do it do Not do it don't relapse. i'm sorry if all the posting about it lately has brought it to the front of ur mind. but seriously no amount of starving will ever achieve any type of feeling or body shape that will offer enough relief unfortunately. it will go on forever n it will slowly kill u im so serious. if i didnt starve myself i probably wouldnt have had to get my gallbladder removed because of the damage and could have just taken medicine that dissolved the stones, my heart probably would have been healthy and strong enough to withstand covid and i wouldnt have developed a hole in one of my valves from it. i was super healthy as a kid, i probably wouldnt have developed stomach issues or joint problems to the severity i have if i hadnt starved myself. im 22 turning 23 in a few months and all my doctors are like "youre just too young for all this to be going on! this sucks!" and when i retroactively mentioned the whole starving myself thing and being severely underweight for a long time they all were like oh thatll do it. chasing an underweight bmi and an ideal i couldnt fit all for nothing in the end, because it didnt even ever make me feel any better, it never made me feel relief, it never made me feel free from the situations i was in that i thought i could escape through the means of starvation, i never felt protected by it. i promise you it is so not worth it.

if i'm honest with you girl, in the long run, it doesn't matter that you're overweight. if it makes u feel any better and like ur not alone, i'm also currently overweight being in the 150s, and even though i really want to make some sort of comment about it, i'm not going to because it's just a neutral thing about my body. it's just the way my body is using the nutrients i'm putting in and reacting to the energy i'm expending right now, in addition to how it's reacting to my medications. whether or not i'm upset with myself or proud of myself at the moment, i have to accept that i'm just living my life rn and life will go on no matter how much i weigh, and my weight is just background information in the story of my life. if i want to change it, i can. if i want to not look the way i do right now, if i want to build more muscle and get rid of a little excess body fat, i can do that by slowly changing some things little by little. i can lift a pair of dumbells 10 times each morning and jog up and down the street, or even jog in place. i can make a smoothie with my protein and add some creatine to it and get into a routine of doing that every morning. even if i just do that, and only that, and nothing else, that's still a step towards changing the thing i don't like about myself as long as i do it consistently.... which is better than what i would have been doing when i was starving myself, because i'd starve for days and days and days and then eat enough for 3 grown men and feel so sick 24/7.

if being overweight concerns you enough, and you have access to a primary care physician that's affordable, you can always bring it up to them and talk to them about your concerns. it may not always bring about the best result, especially if you have a male doctor instead of a female one, but i recently mentioned this at my yearly checkup (about 8 months ago i was 130 pounds, and i put on 20ish pounds in the span of those 8 months and i can't tell if it's muscle or fat redistribution/gain from birth control or both so i thought i would bring it up) and he said all my blood tests look as normal as ever but that he'll monitor it with me while i get back to a normal workout schedule that doesn't aggravate my joint pain.

also, don't be too afraid to open up to your friends; if they don't believe you, then those may not be friends you want to have around in the first place anyway... but hopefully they do believe you. i wish u luck and i believe in u. when it's too hard for me to bring myself to eat something, i keep a mini fridge full of nutritious drinks in my room like Naked Rainbow Machines and Fairlife Strawberry Milk (With Protein) and other fuckass shit like chobani yogurt smoothies

thank u for reaching out to me and opening up... i'm proud of u nonnie u got this

#>#askbox

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tabbyhoney · 6 months

Text

Gorgeous

A fanfiction for the story of 'Fear of You' by @sleepwalkersqueen

Note:Hello again! Sorry for the delay but this chapter was kinda difficult to navigate and work with(I actually had to delete a lot and start over).

Anyway, only one more chapter to go, and the story on my end is finished:). Now there is only one question for the ending since I have two options I am unable to choose from. So I won't spoil anything let's just divide them into Extreme angsty and normal kind of angsty (Chose wisely if you guys wanna decide)

One last thing and then I stop talking. I couldn't decide on which song so I only linked one and the others are mentioned.

<<Last ••• Next>>

Warnings:Not a therapist, mention of mock execution, swearing, discussion of abortion(Not explicit)

(Alternative songs to use or listen to: Je ne parle pas francais cover by Selphius, Curses by The crane wives, Usseewa by Ado and 夜に駆ける by YOASOBI)

Chapter 04

Minori was an interesting person. She always was and will forever be a mystery to me. She talks without a care in the world and if she loses a limb because of her mutation she always has a weird thing to say. So incredibly proud.

Sometimes I would like to be more like her. Someone proud of my body as it is, someone too proud for their own good.

"Minori!" I called while picking up a hand from her. "Minori, I mean it come here and get your hand!"

I heard fast footsteps approaching on the creaking wooden floor. Someone was breathing heavily and leaning against the doorframe. The door slammed open with so much force it made the shelves unsteady.

"Sorry," she said out of breath "I just wanted to-"

"Lend me a hand"

She chuckled before sitting down exhausted on the floor "Exactly", thumbs up in approvement.

I hand her her hand before sitting down beside her. The splinters of the wooden floor pushed uncomfortably into my skin.

Like they couldn't afford to sand them from time to time.

"Anyway... What do you think?" She asked while grinning widely.

"About what? Your guy? Eh still think he is not good" I shrugged

"Yes well... I uhm..."

"What is it?" I asked looking at her, squinting my eyes.

"I really really love him like... Actually... I know he is bad. Not a good guy in any way... But ya know... Harima is actually pretty gentle... With me at least"

"I don't actually have to like him though, right?"

"No, but... It's getting pretty serious and I would like for you two to get along"

"Like how?" I asked already feeling weird, like my biggest fear coming true.

"Like... Pregna-"

"Okay"

I was not able to look her in the eye, staring at the ground with no expression. the only thing I felt at that moment was her eyes staring into me, confused.

"Are you serious? This is your reaction?" She stands back up, looking down at me with the most disappointed looks I have ever seen on her perfect face. Her usually spotless face was twisted in a way I never thought would be able to.

"I... I'm sorry I don't think I can react better right now..." I could feel my gut twisting and cold sweat running down my spine. Regret filled me up that I said that the moment it left my mouth. Hearing the words of the doctors repeated in my head like an endless loop.

"Can't you just be happy that I am happy?!" She yelled.

"I am afraid I can't right now"

"You know what?! Fuck you! Don't call me" she stomped out of the room. Her words stung like venom in my veins.

The worst part is I felt like she meant it. To never call my closest friend again, only because I was incapable of showing my happiness to her.

-------------------------------------------------------

The tall heels clicked on the cold metal floor of the hallway. Stomping with wide steps and a burning rage inside of me.

My shoulders back, chest out, and chin up as I swiped the card and typed in the code on the lock.

Bursting through the door I practically ran up to one of the guys who most likely was responsible for this mess.

"You overscheduled me" I spat, tapping my finger warningly against his chest.

"Excuse me?"

"I will not excuse this stupidity! You have thirty seconds to get him off of this chair or I will claw your eyes out and do it myself!"

"This is an exe-"

"It's not and even if it was you have no right to overschedule my precious time. Twenty seconds"

"I can have you removed by force!"

"Fifteen" I warned, gritting my teeth. Talons ready to strike the taller man.

"Hey, you! Get her out of here" the guard yelled towards another one.

"No uhm... She is right, it says in her contract that we cannot overschedule her"

"Five"

The guard gave me a furious look before he waved his hands and some guys took Shinyo off the chair. Pulling him carelessly over the ground because Shinyo had no strength to hold himself up.

"I dare you to do that again and you will beg to have never been born at all" I spat before walking away with the other guards and Shinyo.

The walk was thankfully short and they immediately left us alone once I stepped into the cell after them. They didn't even chain him up again, which only means they had done a terrible job.

"You would think that people working here know what they are doing, but of course, there are always people like them who have no clue what their job is supposed to be" I complained while pulling up a chair to sit down.

Silence.

"What's wrong?" I turned around in my chair to face him, still standing at the spot they left him.

"Nothing"

Lie

"Aye..." Why did I copy him?

Again the room fell quiet. At this point, I would find it more relaxing if he would sit down instead of standing like a mannequin in this empty room.

"I know this probably isn't relaxing right now but this was not supposed to be a-"

"Don't tell me" He said, staring at the floor, eyes wide open. "Because if you say it now it will haunt me more than ever"

"Alright... Uhm... What did you eat?" I asked, fully turning around to sit more comfortably in the chair. Trying to ease the waters by focusing on the better parts.

"Snake," he said with a flat tone.

"You know I actually came around to try it, since you always talk about it and stuff and I must say it isn't the worst"

"Since when do you eat animals?"

"You make it sound weirder than it is" I chuckle stretching my arms and back. "I just have some trauma that I never worked on"

For the very first time since we walked inside, the room had a comfortable atmosphere. A thick uneasiness still filled the air, but way more manageable.

But even the almost execution was not able to shake off something that wasn't there before.

"I have never seen you that angry before, was almost hot" Shinyo rasped with a suppressed chuckle.

"Sweetie I am hot" I laughed with a smirk on my face "But really I just hate people not taking my rules seriously"

"Your rules?" He asked

"Yeah, I am the first therapist that they ever hired. Took way too much work to get in here and maybe if I go back I wouldn't work here in the first place" I looked down to Shinyo with a soft expression. No snarkiness or arrogant atmosphere surrounding me that can make blood boil hotter than Endeavour's butt.

"What would you have done then? You are pretty good at tormenting people from the inside out and apparently also from the outside" he asked, sincerity in his sharp eyes.

I laughed at his comment. Feeling pride rise in my chest for getting a compliment from him, a compliment that was meant as an insult but felt sincere.

"Therapist wasn't my first career choice if I am honest I-" I stopped for a moment, contemplating if I should tell "I wanted to be a singer"

"Singer?" He repeated. "Just a singer or like an Idol? Ooooh! Do you write your own songs?" He asked unusually interested.

"I also write yeah. But I stopped like uh... Four years ago? I had a fight with my best friend and we were a duo at a burlesque bar and after that, I didn't dare to go up on stage again" I rambled, feeling all the pain from our parting rise in my chest again. Gnawing at my heart.

"Aye, suppose that makes sense" He mumbled.

A quiet room was always either comfortable to dwell in or one of the most horrible feelings you could have. Around half a year ago we never had any of these unpleasant silences anymore. Now they only hold a pleasant comfort, like sleeping in with a lover for only five more minutes that turned into an hour. Listening to only the breathing and heartbeat of each other.

"Can you sing? Like now"

"Come again?"

"Like can you sing something"

"I don't know... Haven't sung in quite a long time"

He shrugged, lips curling into a grin "Aye but in that case, you have a good excuse for why you sound horrible"

I laughed at this with a smile. With a sigh, I started thinking about something I could sing.

"Any wishes?" I asked not sure what I should choose. There were too many good choices.

"If you've been in prison for this long anything would sound good as long as it is something"

"Alright, then I'll just choose what I like"

Taking a very deep breath I stand, preparing myself to sing after all these years.

Curling my lips and taking another moment to breathe before I just started singing whatever came to mind.

I wouldn't even have said that this was my worst performance. Sure I started off a little shaky with my voice and way more timid than what I was used to but I would give myself at least a decent.

After my song, there was a moment of silence. A phantom echo of my voice filling my ears and brain.

Shinyo whistled and clapped his hands.

"I expected worse."

"Oh fuck you"

"It was pretty good"

He complimented me. Shinyo complimented me, like actually.

"Thank you very much, I appreciate it" I grinned sheepishly. Rubbing my arms before sitting down on the floor with him.

"People tend to not give a single crap about stuff like that"

"What? Skill?"

"Yes actually, they just see well... A pretty woman, a pretty mutant woman that barely has any resemblance to a mutant"

"Doesn't sound like the worst thing that can happen, at least you can get some advantage out if it, sex sells after all"

"I know but nobody wants to be seen as a meat sack to be used however they like. Especially since mutant people as a whole have it difficult enough"

"Aye, you tell me"

"No offense or comparison but people with uteruses who are mutants have it even worse. They wanted to ban abortion and while I agree that it is a difficult topic it is very much needed nowadays"

"But they are killing children" he argued, not actually meaning anything bigger behind his words besides him wanting to challenge me.

"Well technically no, but let's say a guy that has like a cement type of mutation and is in a relationship with a nonmutant. The potential child could kill them because the body isn't made to carry babies that heavy"

"Aye but many would disagree and legal abortions are hard to come by"

"I have a brain that I use. Even if I personally would never get one doesn't mean there aren't times when it is the worst decision to be made"

He clicked his tongue "Aye, sure"

Things have changed a lot between us two. He seemed a lot more comfortable when we talked now.

The same applies to me, talking with him was the highlight of my day. I even stretched the times for as long as possible. Maybe it was getting too cozy inside of here. I should not talk with him so much about my private life and my own beliefs. Even if it was already too late now for changes.

-------------------------------------------------------

"Greetings!" I extend my hand to the man with the black hair. "The name is Howashi Amaya, I wanted to talk to you in private since you barely say anything to anyone"

"Fang Li" he growled, eyes sparkling with anger that changed when I stepped closer and sat down. "You smell"

"Hopefully good, I showered this morning and put on deodorant and perfume," I said almost feeling offended by his comment.

"You smell like him"

"Excuse me? Do you mean-?" I asked, having the feeling he meant Shinyo.

"Takami, yes"

Picking on my nails and pushing my lips together I tried to calm myself.

"Do you know where he is?"

Silence.

"We need to find him, the government is already chewing on our heads"

Silence and staring into my soul.

"Even if you only tell us a small hint that would be more than enough, you have no reason to cover for him and we might get you out of here sooner"

"I don't care"

Sighing as I stand up, climbing on top of the table to move closer to his face. Scrunching my nose and pointing at his face.

"Listen, I don't wanna do this-"

"You are lying, I will not tell you"

"Why? He betrayed you, if it wasn't for him you would still run around freely"

"I-" he stilled. Biting his tongue not to tell anything.

"Believe it or not but I would rather be doing something else as well. He.." I stopped for a moment before adding in a low whisper "He deserves the freedom as long as he would stop causing so much commotion"

"I'll tell you one thing and you tell me why you smell like him"

That would be a tough one. Having only one question is not enough, and asking for everything would not be possible with someone like him, he would probably shut it down as more questions.

"Where is he going?" I asked, hoping this was the best question to ask.

"To one of his clients where he is bringing his latest goods, I don't know the location"

Not helpful but a deal is a deal. I have to tell him regardless.

For some reason, he still eyed me differently, like he saw me somewhere else before but couldn't remember where.

"Is something wrong?" I asked leaning back again.

"Do you work in the Pink cavern?"

"Sometimes"

"Does it not belong to this Harima guy?"

"Since three years, yes" I answered without moving a muscle.

"Shit" he growled.

"Howashi" a voice that I believe to have heard too much recently. "A word"

Following the tall number two pro hero into his office while everyone stared at us surely was not something everyone was able to live through. I even hoped no one needed to.

Yet only one part about this made my heart beat faster. He knew something or at least had a feeling about something I was not too keen on telling even when my life would be on the line.

"What can I help with?"

"Cut the bullshit" he spat "Did you help him?"

"Help who with what?"

My hands felt shaky.

"Did you help Takami escape"

My heart was racing.

"Why would you think that?" I asked calmly.

"Who else?"

"Imawashi maybe"

"Don't lie to me"

"I didn't"

"Oh yeah? Then why the fuck was he able to escape then? No one just walks out of there, you and I both know that"

I had to be a better liar for now. No one needed to know I was there that day.

"I know that and I didn't help him. I have no idea how he did it but when you have the answer please call me"

#Spotify #fear of you #mha #mha endeavor #shinyo takami #takami shinyo #thief takami #mha foy #bnha #bnha fear of you #mha fear of you #mha fear of you wolf #ocs #fanfiction for a fanfiction

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malevolentmango · 1 year

Text

meta thoughts on Loki's role in What You've Already Buried

Yes, this is a meta post about my own fic. idk how I got here but I do in fact have a lot of thoughts about Loki and how I chose to combine the p5r persona, the actual mythology of Loki, and Goro's character arc, so here we are.

If you haven't read the whole fic and you care about spoilers, make sure to leave this for after! Also, this got... really long and sort of all over the place. I tried to organize it all but alskdjfa oops?

So, to start, I'll go through the various stories I referenced in the fic. Obviously we're playing fast and loose with the mythology here in general, but stick with me.

Chapter 2

The dream in chapter 2 was the result of me mashing together two different, unrelated stories. The poem Hyndluljóð briefly references Loki eating a woman's roasted heart, and no matter how many times I told myself I didn't need to include that imagery anywhere in my fic, you can see that it ended up there anyway because it's sexy as hell. The rest of that scene, where Goro/Loki talks about his fate and how they will always end up here, is a reference to Loki's role in the death of the god Baldr, which results in Loki being bound and eventually starting Ragnarök when he breaks free. This is the first real hint in the story that Loki is behind all of this - particularly when he refers to Akira as "the bleeding god," which is an epithet for Baldr.

Fun fact about the dream sequences, actually: originally there were only two, the very vague one in chapter 1 and the binding in chapter 3. As I was editing chapter 2, I realized that I wanted to start building up to the eventual reveal of Loki's involvement much earlier than I had while writing (and in fact, when I first started writing this, I hadn't even decided who or what created the app - I just wanted to get the concept down, and it all kind of snowballed from there).

From there though, I picked up a bit of a theme, and a progression. The dreams were meant to parallel certain scenes we get in Goro's confidant route - things like him joking about taking Akira out at the arcade, and the game of billiards that's one big metaphor about Goro's subterfuge. They act as warnings, and in the case of the dreams, rather direct ones: Goro is literally eating Akira's heart. Goro is the one who wanted to kill him, and therefore Loki, as a part of his heart, is a danger to Akira. But Akira never takes them as warnings. What he sees are cries for help, a cycle that Goro can't break out of on his own.

The parallels between Goro and Loki are pretty blatant in this one. Talking about his lies, the people he's killed, how "I can be no other than what I am." That line is actually a reference to the song No More What Ifs, which plays in Jazz Jin: "I do not / regret with my choices I'm rather proud / ooh I know I won't change anything / because I can only be me."

Chapter 3

The dream in chapter 3 was, as Goro himself explains later, the binding of Loki from the poem Lokasenna. This one is actually pretty close to the original, with the major differences being that Loki was bound with the entrails of his own son and the "poison" is actually venom dripping from a snake. I think it's neat that Loki's reaction to the venom touching him is what's thought to create earthquakes, so I wanted to include that as well.

As mentioned above, this dream was actually the first one I wrote. The idea just sort of came to me while writing and I really wanted to include it. This is why it's a bit different from the others, in that it doesn't take place anywhere that would be familiar to Akira, but rather in the Void itself. And I think the result is that it's even more pointed than the previous dream. This is Loki himself showing Akira exactly what he's getting into - that Goro, and by extension himself, comes with a whole helluva lot of baggage. That if Akira goes through with this mission, he will forever be the Sigyn who loves Loki too much to let him be hurt, and must watch him hurt anyway.

But as we know, Akira is too stubborn to let that stop him. Akira believes wholeheartedly in saving people, but especially in saving Goro Akechi. That determination is really put on display in chapter 4.

Chapter 4

The dream in chapter 4 is different in that it's not based on an actual story, but rather on the etymology of the name Loki, which is thought to originate from a Germanic root word related to loops, knots, and hooks. I'm just gonna include the direct quote from Eldar Heide that inspired this because it's pretty great: "There is quite a bit of evidence that Loki in premodern society was thought to be the causer of knots/tangles/loops, or himself a knot/tangle/loop. Hence, it is natural that Loki is the inventor of the fishnet, which consists of loops and knots, and that the word loki is a term for makers of cobwebs: spiders and the like."

It's important to note at this point, I think, that all three of these dreams take place in the story after Akira and Goro have a conversation in the previous scene about who Goro is and what he wants. In chapter 2, Akira dreams of Goro eating his heart in the interrogation room directly after Akira tells Goro what he learned in the Velvet Room and Goro tries to convince Akira that he isn't worth saving.

In chapter 3, Akira dreams of the binding of Loki after Akira tells Goro that he's worthy of Robin Hood, and then teases him about how he found Black Mask Goro, and by extension Loki, attractive. This was partially just for fun (I was imagining it a bit as Loki going "you don't have a book about me yet? well check this shit out--"), but it's also another moment of Akira reaffirming that he wants Goro around.

So chapter 4, then, takes place the same night that Akira sends the thirst trap pic of himself to Goro, and Goro responds with a last ditch attempt at intimidation - trying to insist that even if Akira cares about him, he won't be able to handle the depth of Goro's feelings for him, because they're too much. He's too selfish, too possessive. Unfortunately for him, Akira is into that.

And this dream thus breaks the pattern. The previous ones were about things happening to Akira - he couldn't even speak in them. He was a bystander, a victim. In this one, he is literally bound, a treat all tied up for Goro/Loki to enjoy. The more Akira tries to escape, the more Goro/Loki breaks down, talking about how he can't let Akira go, that everyone leaves him. And when Akira does escape and goes directly to Goro/Loki instead of leaving, he delivers on the promise he didn't even realize he was making two chapters ago: that he will pull Goro out of the cycle and set him free too.

Chapter 5

The PTs genderbending and being chased through a forest came from the Gylfaginning book of the Prose Edda, which details how Loki turned into a mare in order to lure a builder's stallion away from his work and thus cheat him out of his payment from the Æsir. This encounter results in Loki later giving birth to the horse Sleipnir.

Utgard-Loki

From the same book comes the story of Utgard-Loki (technically written Útgarða-Loki, but I chose to leave it as "Utgard" the way the Persona series does). Utgard is a giant who agreed to shelter Loki and Thor for a night in exchange for performing a feat. The reason the Thieves have to do four feats is because there are actually two children with Loki and Thor in the story, but I didn't want to get into all that here. For similar reasons, their feats are a lot more straightforward than, for example, Loki competing in an eating contest against the personification of a wildfire.

Fenrir, Sköll, and Hati

Next, in the forest, we get Fenrir and his sons Sköll and Hati. The two younger wolves are said to chase the sun and moon across the sky until the onset of Ragnarök, at which point they would be caught and swallowed. In the fic, this has already happened, as their light is visible when the wolves howl - implying that Ragnarök has already started, and the Thieves are moving closer to the final battle.

The place they lead the Thieves to, Fenrir's island, is a direct reference to the island Lyngvi (meaning "a place overgrown with heather") where the Æsir bind Fenrir with Gleipnir, as described in Gylfaginning. They do so by tricking him and questioning his courage, saying that if he truly can't break free of this simple ribbon, then he must not be a danger to them after all. In reality, Odin feared Fenrir, who the prophecies said would be the death of Odin, and the gods considered all children of Loki to be too dangerous to be free.

This is where a lot of the threads start to come together with regards to how I chose to portray Loki in this fic: as a deviant, as a trickster, as a murderer, but also as someone who (like Goro) was a victim of his role in the larger story he's part of. Ragnarök can't happen without Loki - it doesn't matter how much he aids the gods, how much he's a part of their ranks. The moment he pulls the strings of Baldr's death, he's an outcast. He is the unwanted, the persecuted, all because it's foretold that he will be. He cannot escape the cycle. No one escapes Ragnarök.

In talking about this story with a friend, I described my portrayal of Loki as being more sympathetic than a lot of other ones I've read in this fandom. I think that really comes through in this scene, even though Loki isn't in it at all. Part of that is because it's from Akira's POV and he has a massive savior complex, but really I just liked the idea of twisting the lens through which we think about Loki as a character and how we connect him to the actual stories about him.

When I was reading about Loki for this fic, the idea I kept coming back to was that he just seems... tragic. That as much as he delights in causing suffering, it comes at the cost of a deep, personal pain. Imagine having everything you've worked for, everything you've done and created, taken away from you at the whims of someone more powerful than you. A player in a game you were born to lose. That's Loki, and it is also, of course, Goro Akechi.

Loki in the Mead Hall

This piece was, of course, inspired by Lokasenna, Loki's Flyting. The Thieves hear the gods reacting angrily to Loki's insults as they approach the building, but ultimately don't understand what all that vitriol means. This was partly because there was no way in hell I was writing an actual flyting, but also because I wanted to show off a bit of Loki's power over this space. It's his realm, after all.

(Fun fact: the descriptions of the mead hall and the forest from the previous scene were loosely based on the truly batshit amount of time I spent playing Valheim.)

This encounter with Loki was actually the first thing I wrote that took place in the Void - I think it was around the same time that I wrote the dream in chapter 3. I wanted to show that Loki is someone to be feared, someone who by his very nature is crafty and powerful and terrifying... and I also wanted to show why that doesn't make him evil by more directly stating his intentions. This is the scene where the Thieves actually get an answer to why Loki is helping them and Goro - because he cares about Goro.

Which sounds like a simple answer - of course the source of Goro's persona cares about him - but it's not. One of the things that trickster figures are known for is defying expectations. The expectation for a god living separate from humans in the Void would be that they don't have particularly strong feelings for them one way or another. We see this in the previous scene when the Thieves encounter Odin, who was once Akira's persona - he acknowledges that connection, but still plans to trick them.

From the moment Loki captured Goro and then gave Akira the Crow app, he was defying his place in the cycle. Loki cannot change his own fate, but he can change theirs - that's what a trickster does. Similarly, Akira also defies expectations when he tells Loki that he wants him to be himself - Loki, who is meant to be a shapeshifter, who is meant to bring destruction by his very nature, is being told that that's okay. After all, Akira loves Goro just the way he is. Why wouldn't he do the same for Loki?

Plus, I just really wanted to make Loki sexy as hell in this scene. I mean Look At Him.

Jörmungandr

His appearance is brief and not as important as others, but there two important bits to take away from this. One, that Akira continues to empathize with Loki and his children where the Thieves are still frightened (this is more just to keep on theme). And two, that Jörmungandr is free - he's not biting his own tail and encircling the world, another sign that Ragnarök has begun.

Fimbulwinter and Ragnarök

So obviously there's a lot going on here. I wasn't pulling directly from any story here, just the general themes: Fimbulwinter is the harsh and unforgiving winter that precedes Ragnarök and puts an end to all life on Earth. Ragnarök itself is then characterized by the great battle in which many of the Æsir die, after which the world burns and is then completely submerged underwater. Only then can the world rise again and the cycle can continue.

An interesting note: While the Thieves battle Ragnarök Loki, the form that Goro's shadow takes, they never actually enter the part of this realm that is Ragnarök. They remain in Fimbulwinter because that's where Goro was being held - because Loki had to keep him far enough in to be safe, but didn't want to put him in the place where Loki himself is doomed to repeat his own death over and over again. It's another example of Loki's strange brand of kindness.

I'm actually pretty happy with how Shadow Loki turned out. The idea that Goro had to face his own shadow was one I took from P4, which a friend was streaming for me and a few others at the time I was writing this. Of course, in P4 it's about accepting a part of yourself you don't want to acknowledge or come to terms with, and that's not really the case for Goro. I think he knows exactly who he is - he's told both Yusuke and Haru outright that he doesn't regret what he's done. For him, facing his shadow is about proving that isn't all that he is - that he is more than the smiling prince and the bloodied assassin and the unwanted child.

And of course, the reason his shadow takes the form of a sort of amalgamation of Loki and his own Black Mask outfit is because Loki is the source of all that. He's the one who gave Goro the power to kill, and Goro used that power without restraint. Goro stepped willingly into the same cycle of violence that Loki has always known, and in this scene, he's finally breaking free of it.

After the fight, we finally get Loki explaining to Goro in his own words why he's done all this. It's slightly different from what he told Akira in the mead hall - to Akira, he admits that he cares for Goro, whereas to Goro himself he says he wants Goro to live because "one of us should." Both answers are correct, but I think the second one is more true to how Loki sees himself and how he sees Goro. Loki is limited by his nature as a god to never change, to always be both an agent and victim of fate, but Goro isn't. And rather than attempt to change himself using the so-called "leeway" afforded to tricksters, Loki uses that power to give Goro the life he himself can never have.

And finally, we have the moment where Goro gives the treasure he took from his shadow to Loki. As Akira learns later in the epilogue, this is a hair pin that belonged to Goro's mother, which he would use to hold a blanket in place around his shoulders when he pretended to be a hero. That he would give such an item to Loki - something he lost years ago after his mother's death, something he will never see again in reality - and thank him for lending him the power to survive as long as he did is, I think, really telling of their connection to each other. In a way, it's almost a challenge, even a threat - Goro is telling Loki not to forget him and what they stood for, no matter how many times he repeats the cycle. He's taking his own stance on the idea that Loki can never change, and that stance is "Try harder then."

And maybe he can. Or maybe he can't. One of the things that I really wanted to explore in this fic is the idea of how a persona and its user overlap with the stories that persona comes from, and Loki and Goro are a great example of this. Two characters bound by fate, doomed to die by their respective narratives. Of course they found each other. And of course Goro would never be happy with the idea of a part of his soul being controlled by outside forces. Whether or not Loki can really change, though, is up to interpretation.

In Conclusion

idk I just think he's neat. Which one of them am I talking about? Yes. If you read all of that nonsense, you're my hero.

And just for fun...

I actually did write an entire move set for Ragnarök Loki, even though it was completely unnecessary. Figured I'd include it here for anyone wondering just how tough a fight that would be!

Ragnarök Loki (2 actions/turn)

Call of Chaos - Boost self's attack but drop defense for 3 turns. Laevateinn - Colossal Physical damage to 1 foe. Megidolaon - Severe Almighty damage to all foes. Concentrate - Multiply user’s next magical attack damage by 2.5. Sigyn’s Burden - Inflict Despair (high odds) to 1 foe. Hel’s Retribution - Decrease ATK/DEF/AGI for all foes for 3 turns. Jörmungandr’s Venom - Medium chance of instantly killing all foes. Fenrir’s Hunger - Heavy Nuclear damage to 1 foe. Medium chance to inflict Hunger. Fimbulwinter - Severe Ice damage to all foes. Ragnarök - Severe Fire damage to all foes and inflict Fear (high odds)

#wyab #a bts of writing I guess??#this is the silliest thing I've ever done but it was pretty fun actually #to be clear no one asked me to do this I'm just like this

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