#anyways. thank you for coming to my ted talk

[anderscim]

another david chiem-related train of thought (wow i totally am NOT obsessed with him)

huge incoming tangent warning

as well as major ch2 part 1 spoilers

(take this theory with a grain of salt)

just wanted to talk about david’s plan in ch2. though it had a bunch of flaws, it was probably better than any of the other options the group had

okay i’m not a david apologist or anything but let me explain my train of thought—

there’s really only a couple of ways you can take action in a situation like that:

do nothing and all of the secrets get revealed. given the fact that a lot of these secrets are specifically written to incite emotion (trauma, anger, etc) it’ll likely stir a hell ton of conflict all at once as people inevitably scramble to identify who’s secret is whose and will probably lead to a worse predicament

someone actually gets murdered before the deadline. true, the secrets won’t be revealed, but they would be trading a human life, which for obvious reasons can’t work out

everyone reveals whose secret they have, and what they are. we can already know from j/arturo and arturo/eden’s situations that having someone else reveal a secret that you’re holding close to your chest will make people react very emotionally—and will just make more conflict

or, like david’s plan, have everyone reveal what they know about their own secrets. in that case, each person would be able to explain the context behind their secret so there’s less likely of a chance they’ll be confronted for it when it eventually gets revealed, and in some cases trauma dumping can actually be good therapy for some people.

however… that’s about where the benefits end for david’s plan. it’s honestly just as risky as the others; for example, some of the cast have secrets that are horrible and seem irredeemable regardless of context. additionally, there’s cases where people retaliate especially if it’s a secret that the person holds very close to their chest / that they’re really sensitive about. we see as much for a lot of scenes in chapter 2.

but the thing is… though it is incredibly risky, it has a slightly higher chance of working compared to the other methods. in a more “better than the alternatives” sort of context.

even if david recognized that he’d essentially be gambling with this plan, and knew he probably wouldn’t get the best outcome possible (in fact i think he was aware it probably wouldn’t work), he likely decided to ignore that and roll with it anyways—besides, a 5% success rate is better than a 2% success rate.

so really, the only place where he would’ve “lied” was the way he promoted his plan. in order to get the ball rolling, he had to present his argument in a way that made the plan sound foolproof—which, given the holes the plan had, wouldn’t work unless he covered up all the possible risks and convinced everyone to blindly have faith in him.

fortunately, with his speaking skills, he could probably pull that off quite well. which leads to what happened in ep4 onwards

also, i don’t think he could’ve intentionally lied about his secret during that moment (although him slightly modifying it is possible—i’ll explain that later). whit likely never reached out to david about his actual secret so he didn’t know for sure what it was.

but the thing is, everyone else’s secret, though written in a way that took out crucial context and painted them in a bad light, was at least somewhat based on an actual occurrence, portion of their identity, and real information.

david’s secret is the most vague and was written in a way to attack his purpose and what he personally (secretly) believes his actions to entail. but, unlike everyone else, there’s no concrete occurrence, action that he’s done, or any specific detail in that secret that connects him to manipulation. additionally, his is the most open-ended. i’m going to assume guessing a secret like that would’ve been very difficult

given david’s behaviors and dialogue as well as some subtle details about his preferences and such, it’s very likely that he has depression and was desperately trying to hide it in order to keep his optimistic image. so for him, it would make more sense for his secret to be something related to depression—which is probably why he said what he said in episode 4.

that being said, i think he did half-lie a little about what he believed to be his true secret in order to preserve his image.

note how he specifically says “family history of depression.”

this is a really subtle wording detail, but david only claims there was a tendency for depression to run through his family—he never says that he has depression himself.

as a similar example—though this may just be me—if my family has a tendency to develop certain cardiovascular diseases, though it does increase the risk that i may develop the same disease in the future, it doesn’t necessarily mean i have that disease.

david likely used this same philosophy, and by saying that depression “runs in his family,” he’s subtly implying that he doesn’t have depression (though admitting he has a higher risk for it).

and like what i said before, i’m 90% sure he’s actually struggling with depression—but he decides not to admit it here in order to keep his own “optimistic leader” image.

(and don’t get me wrong, i don’t think the family history of depression is a lie—just the way he expressed it was kind of… intriguing for me)

i may be wrong about all of this, especially that last part because that may just be my own overthinking and assumptions influencing me 😅

so as always, feel free to refute literally anything i said and i will listen.

and again, please take this with a grain of salt

[the-phantom-peach]

🗣️ huh?? what do you mean I haven’t posted any Link signing propaganda yet??

[reliabledragon]

To me, the best embodiment of modern capitalism is in the phrase "please hold, we are experiencing higher than usual call volume". I know it's a lie. You know it's a lie. But you still hear that line every time you call, regardless of the day or time, because it shifts the blame. It tries to prompt you to blame the other callers instead of asking, "Hey, why are they deliberately understaffing their call centers and making it so difficult to get help?" It takes a failing caused by a deliberate, profit-focused management choice, and turns it into a problem with the people using the system, rather than one with the system itself. And that pattern, to me, is the epitome of the modern corporate system.

[nancywheeeler]

hopeless time loop. the way out isn’t to save everyone. the way out isn’t to save even one person. the way out isn’t to change anything. the way out is accepting how it happened the first time is how it always will be. that’s how you acted, that’s how they acted, that’s how you would have acted every time if you weren’t given the curse of hindsight. the way out is accepting you can’t fix the past; you can only forgive yourself for it.

[secondbeatsongs]

hey, don't cry

tumblr is the new pdf! ok?

[divineandmajesticinone]

4 MINUTES (2024) I 1.01 "I'm sorry. My dad wants me to go home now. For dinner."

[dandelion-stuff-and-fluff]

I swear to god, every time I read "your bladder and bowels empty when you die," I feel like curb stomping a kitten.

No.

Your muscles stop working. If you're actively contracting a sphincter muscle to hold in your urine or feces while you're alive, then yeah, some portion is probably gonna come on out to party once that muscle stops contracting.

If not? What the hell do you think is going to force them out? Most people cannot defecate on command on a good day, using all of their abdominal muscles (for real, tho, ask the makers of Ex-lax and Metamucil). If those abdominal muscles aren't working and there is no pressure built up from actively holding it in? lolNO

Maybe a little drizzle. A little poozle. A little drippy drip.

The foretold excremental explosion is not going to happen unless you JUMP ON THE DECEASED'S BELLY. Good luck with that.

Source: I working in a fucking anatomy lab and have spent too many hours of my life trying to prevent poop explosions and siphoning bladders dry with turkey basters to keep entertaining this nonsense.

[markscherz]

You are everything I aspire to be

If parenting has taught me anything, it is the importance of getting down on your hands and knees and teaching not just facts, but love and enthusiasm for the natural world.

This is my son Q and me. I have dozens of photos like this by now, even though he is just two years old.

Every chance I get, I will kneel down with him and show him the little creatures all around us. Especially when they are frogs. He loves frogs for some reason. No idea why.

It is important that we all see this together. It is beautiful. It is magnificent. We are here. It is improbable to the highest degree. It is fleeting, but it is everything we get. And we can get so, so much of it. If we just get our faces into it and really absorb it.

So that's what l'm trying to do here, I guess. Get all of you to join me in the reeds. And I am so happy to have so many of you along for the journey.

[jolynejay]

Which one is it, Malleus

Malleus & Yuu/MC: having a Gargoyle Research Club meeting (aka going on a stroll at night infodumping at each other)

Yuu/MC: That reminds me, there is something I wanted to ask you.

Malleus: What is weighing on your mind, child of man?

Yuu/MC: Do you like gargoyles because they remind you of yourself - a living relic from a bygone time whose purpose has become largely obsolete due to the advancement of technology and society, only able to watch eternally from afar as people go about their lives without ever truly belonging to that world and no perspective for the future of your own as those you call kin slowly fade away?

Yuu/MC: Or do you like them "just because"?

Malleus:

[fuzzyhairedfreak]

um uh uh um. so. did anyone else used to follow Nate Stevenson's D&D campaign drawings back in the day or-

[boygirlctommy]

i love the bit from oct 17 2020 when tommy and quackity trapped wilbur in a cobblestone box to keep him from pressing the button... wilbur punching through the blocks with his bare hand to try to get to the button... tommy frantically replacing the block in front of him yelling for quackity to do something... the moment when tommy stops, blocks the exit, and tells wilbur to do it. press the button. but then theyd die with him. quackitys like "wait, wait-" but tommy holds his ground and wilbur. ohh wilbur. "why'd you have to make it so hard?"

[dykecubes]

Tazercraft mental link but make it a lil bit weird, they’ll have a conversation mostly in their heads but partially out loud which from an outside perspective is just fragments of words and half sentences, they go dead silent for hours at a time only for them to suddenly start shouting out loud, very clearly mid-argument, Pac says something but it comes out of Mike’s mouth, Mike starts speaking with his mouth and finishes speaking with Pac’s, sometimes their thoughts become so tangled that they’re unsure who a thought belongs to so they both express it at the same time like horror movie twins, do you see my vision

[iwritenarrativesandstuff]

On Kurapika's Self-Imposed Isolation

While I recognize that probably everything I'm about to say is going to be super obvious, I just wanted to briefly touch on Kurapika's self-isolation, and the reason behind his not picking up his phone or exchanging anything more than clipped words and business after Yorknew.

I think the obvious answer is that Kurapika doesn't want his friends in harms way, or to be used as a bargaining tool against him. This is an understandable and probably accurate conclusion. After all, Gon and Killua did get taken hostage, and Kurapika was forced to negotiate an exchange. Chrollo picked up on Kurapika's "weakness" right away - that he values his friends' safety before his revenge. Fortunately for Kurapika in this situation, Pakunoda was a whole lot more similar to him than he would've cared to admit, as she placed a value on Chrollo's life even though everyone in the Spider was intended to be replaceable. So, now that he's been through Gon and Killua having potentially gotten killed or seriously hurt, and Chrollo knows that he has a soft spot for them, it does make sense that he would try to push them away for their safety and for the sake of not having an exploitable "weakness" in future. He may also not want to burden them more when they have their own lives to live - he does slip off without telling Gon and Killua for the sake of not distracting them from Nen training, after all.

Except that he already tried all this earlier in Yorknew arc. He tried to tell them they shouldn't get involved, and they all agreed that the risks were massive - but his friends agreed to undergo the risks anyways to help him. Kurapika was even grateful for it - "I have been blessed with good friends."

So, for him to push them away solely for this reason after the fact, knowing that this was very much a likely situation to happen, is a little odd to me. Kurapika knows full well that Leorio would be frustrated, Killua would be offended and Gon would worry. So, I think there's a little more to it than that, and I actually would venture to say that "keeping his friends out of danger" is more a secondary reason for his actions - one that would come across as more of a reasonable excuse to others.

The primary reason is likely a lot more selfish than that. Kurapika has to ensure his mission comes first. And unfortunately, he is fully aware that his path and choice in abilities is deeply self-destructive.

Kurapika needs to make sure that he doesn't have exploitable weaknesses, sure, but he also just as much needs to purposefully worsen his headspace - and he can't do that with those three around.

Think back, what are the happiest moments we see from Kurapika in the series? The one that comes to mind first, and the one I'm sure most of us will think of immediately, is this:

[ID: A screenshot from the 2011 anime adaptation. Kurapika smiles - he looks at ease. End ID.]

It's one of the sweetest scenes of the series imo, right before the whole group is reunited for the first time since the Zoldyck Family arc, and it's even more notable because it comes immediately on the tail end of this...

[ID: Three panels from HxH Chapter 101. Kurapika removes his contacts over the sink. His expression is distant. End ID.]

...and this...

[ID: A panel from HxH Chapter 101. A close up of Kurapika's vacant and furious expression, his eyes wide and dangerous as he says "It might as well be you." Though the art is in black and white, it's apparent his eyes have gone scarlet. End ID.]

...and this.

[ID: A panel from HxH Chapter 101. A distant Kurapika speaks on the phone on a rooftop at night, the cityscape of Yorknew around him dark, but speckled with lights and stars. He says "The Spiders are dead." His face is not visible to the reader. End ID.]

This is, up to this point in the series, Kurapika at his lowest. In contrast to Gon, who is happy to hear that the Spiders are dead already because now Kurapika can focus solely on finding his peoples' eyes, Kurapika... is clearly not happy - and that's because killing the Spiders himself isn't just revenge. It's penance. It's survivor's guilt. Kurapika's powers, which Izunavi even comments sound much like he is chaining himself in the process of chaining his enemies, are oh-so-beautifully prophecied to destroy him - and Kurapika was aware of this from the moment he set off down this path of revenge.

(As a side note, this is why I'm really hoping we see Gon and Kurapika interact again after the Chimera Ant arc - while Gon has always been pretty attentive to Kurapika's emotional state, in Yorknew, he lacks a true understanding of why Kurapika would go so far... but as of now, he understands rage fueled by guilt and grief all too well. I know we're all rooting for Leorio to reach Kurapika, but barring that, I really think Gon could get through to him - after all, they are similar in several ways, and I find it fairly apparent that Gon reminds Kurapika of Pairo.)

But back to the main point here - I do suspect Kurapika expects (if not wants) his revenge mission to destroy him. I think a lot of times, we forget just how young Kurapika is, and how much his character is dictated by honour, and the abandonment of it.

Certainly, he can and will go against his principles for the sake of his mission... yet, almost paradoxically, he's bound to his promise to his fallen clan; a promise to avenge them made in anger.

But Kurapika... doesn't come across as a naturally angry person to me at all.

He seems like the stoic, vengeful type on his initial introduction... and then we get his panic at Gon's recklessness

[ID: A panel from HxH Chapter 2. Kurapika and Leorio wear matching expressions of panic in front of Gon, calling him out for his recklessness. End ID.]

...and his near-immediate forgiveness of Leorio after getting the first inkling of his character - of someone who cares just as fiercely as he does.

And after that point? Almost all through the Hunter Exam? Kurapika smiles so readily at them. He's sharp and funny. He mediates at times, but is stubbornly prideful in others. He's very amused by his friends' antics, and it really does seem like he starts to enjoy himself, with them. And, more than that, he counters Leorio's initial impression of him as an independent loner - on several occasions. He decides to follow Gon because Gon intrigues him. Asides from Gon, it is Kurapika who is the most unwilling to fight each other at the bottom of Trick Tower. Kurapika who makes the first move to team up with Leorio, even though that arrangement benefits Leorio much more than it does him. Kurapika who refuses to abandon Leorio to his fate in the cave, and who checks on Gon after noticing his bad mood. Who was furious enough watching him get beat down by Hanzo that his eyes went scarlet for the first and only instance outside of Spider mentions and Emperor Time. Who quite readily detoured to help rescue Killua.

[ID: Three screenshots from the 2011 adaptation Hunter Exam arc. In the first, Kurapika smiles at a sleeping Leorio. In the second, Kurapika stifles laughter as he pretends he's asleep. In the third, Kurapika has an open-mouthed smile as he acquires the airship tickets for them, Leorio and Gon standing behind him. End ID.]

Look at him! He's so bright! So happy!

...too happy. Too happy to do what he promised himself he would do. And that's his biggest fear, isn't it. Without his rage... what is he left with?

[ID: A panel from HxH chapter 2. A close up of Kurapika's eye as he says "I do not fear death. What I fear is that my rage will one day fade away." End ID.]

Kurapika is far, far less mired in anger when he's with his friends. I actually dare to say that at certain points, he was able to go for lengths of time without thinking much about it - alternating between almost forgetting in one instance and being hit like a sledgehammer on exposure to a reminder in the next. This violent swing is... actually the beginnings of the natural process of healing from loss and trauma. But to Kurapika, who's made a promise to his people's memories, this is not a relief. This is betrayal.

I think that actually scares him, that he can almost picture it. A life beyond his guilt. That he, too, could learn to be happy, even after unimaginable loss.

And so, as Kurapika continues his mission offscreen, finding more and more gruesome reminders of the cruelty inflicted on his people and losing more and more pieces of himself in the process (in his own words, no less), he prioritizes his responsibility to them, and pushes away his distractions. He cannot be a soul at peace until his work is done; he must be in turmoil. He pushes people away who he cares for, and binds himself, and keeps his people's eyes on him, quite literally, because respite, for him, is unacceptable. Perhaps that guilty part of him even hopes, by the end of this, that his soul will be so unrecognizable as to be fundamentally unsalvageable. But the truth of the matter is, or at least what comes across to me, is that Kurapika cares much more fiercely than he hates. He knows what matters most. And for as long as he does, he still hasn't truly lost himself.

[ID: A panel from HxH chapter 350. Kurapika looks down at baby Woble with a gentle, yet complicated expression. The inking is somewhat softer. End ID.]

Kurapika's soul is kind, really. And it wants to heal - but for the sake of his mission, he needs it damaged and bleeding. And so, he forces himself to exist in that pain. All alone.

[ID: A panel from HxH Chapter 344. Kurapika, dressed in a black suit, sits with his back to the reader, looking down at a photo in his hand. He is slumped a little before the church vigil he has prepared, all his clan's eyes lined up in their jars and honoured with flowers and candles. He thinks to himself "There is no home for me to return to... and nobody to welcome me back. I have nothing left." End ID.]

[jichanxo]

Help me, Lord, from these fantasies in my head / They ain't ever been safe ones

[tianhai03]

oh hey look it's april 1st again. happy trans day of visibility 💙💗🤍

[antlereed]

i think its because laudna is such a physical character, she exaggerates and emotes with her hands and face and hair so much, that i think she just. contains all of this emotion until she physically cant anymore. laudna cant sit still or else she explodes. she plays with her hair or makes cats cradles out of ichor, she grooms pates gross ass fur and tries to braid the long ichor-hair of her hound until they fade into nothing. laudna sways on her feet like she still hangs from a tree