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habibi-bambi · 4 months

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The Fall of The First Man [ADAM]

Adam dies,,, but the story does not end.

PART ONE.

“Nifty?!”

Charlie and her father had won the battle when Lucifer had defeated Adam by beating him up to a complete pulp with nothing but mischief and bare hands. No angelic powers, or devil powers. Just bare hands and the fury of a dad reigning hell on the scum who dared to hurt his daughter. Just when he was about to use his powers and end the First Man for good, Charlie intervened. Adam would deserve it but there was no need for further violence and death. They had won, and if her dad killed the guy, it could escalate the fighting between Heaven and Hell which was the last thing Charlie wanted.

And then Nifty, who had appeared out of nowhere, grinned like a maniac and let out a deranged laugh as she kept stabbing Adam “Blood!”

Everybody was staring in complete silence. Completely dumbfounded and stunned, all except Vaggie who was smiling with joy as if it was Charlie’s anniversary present for her. Nifty then returned to looking like an innocent, sweet dwarf sinner and merrily hopped to the ground as if she hadn’t murdered the leader of the murdering angel bastards who terrorized the Pride Ring for thousands of years.

“No!”

Right on time because Adam’s lieutenant rushed to the first man. She was all bruised and injured, with one arm torn. She bled gold blood, but she didn’t care as she fell to her knees and cried. Turning the first man over, she cried.

“Sir?! Sir!”

Adam looked at the furious red sky of Hell. It was ugly as fuck. The only beautiful looking thing in this shithole was the sight of Heaven. He could feel his strength and lifeforce draining away. Lute came over him, crying and screaming. Silly girl, wasn’t she already too big and strong to weep like a baby? She’ll be fine, Adam knows it.

Adam was going to die.

Fucking finally, was all he could think of.

He let out the smallest briefest sigh.

What was that saying again? The one from the Harry Potter books? Ah, yes.

Death is just another great adventure, one that Adam would happily welcome because honestly? He was waaayyy to old and tired of this shit. And Heaven is just way too fucking- Heaven, for him.

“Sir, Stay with me!” Life fades away and leaves behind dull, gold eyes.

Adam smiles peacefully.

“NO! ADAM!”

From the dust and dirt of the earth you were made of.

To the dust and dirt of the earth you will return.

In the beginning, on the ‘Sixth Day’ of Creation, Man and Woman had been created by God. He created them with the rich and blessed earth from the paradise on Earth, the Garden of Eden. God then sculpted the dirt into a shape, one that was beautiful and wonderful, because humans were to be created after God’s image.

When he was all said and done, the Creator of everything then split the shape into two. One was a ‘man’, and the other was a ‘woman’.

God breathed life, and from then on, ‘Adam’ and ‘Lilith’ came to life.

Lilith eventually left and was replaced with Eve, but that was a story for another time.

All that was important was that Adam knew he was created from the dust and dirt of the greatest paradise on earth. Adam also knew, and had expected, that he would return to the earth when his time had come.

It had been 300,000 years ago since he was made. He died nine hundred years later after his creation, and ascended to Heaven. 50,000 years before now, he became the leader and head of the Exorcists and would come down to Hell’s Pride Ring every year on the eve of Jesus Christ’s birth to kill every sinner they could find. From day one, Adam had been obedient and loyal to God and to Heaven. From day one, Adam had been a faithful servant. From fucking day one, Adam had done nothing but did everything for God and Heaven.

He died from some fucking coward sinner. It was surely a no-name sinner, all of them were lowly scums who deserved to rot. But angelic steel is angelic steel. He might be Adam the First Man, but he was stabbed by some psycho from the back over and over. The knife went past his chest. It was the end. Pathetic, yes.

But it was an end.

His end.

He should be fucking dead.

So why the fuck isn’t he dead?

Lucifer Morningstar lets his daughters and her sinners go to the ruins of her hotel, and stays behind to watch the sobbing exorcist hunched over the corpse of Adam.

He was keeping watch, to make sure no crazy bitch tries anything funny. That was all. There totally wasn’t a small part of him waiting for the angel to just fuck off to heaven like the rest of the other exorcists did so he could come close to the corpse of Adam.

Yup. Totally keeping a close eye on that angel for his daughter. It was totally just Lucifer keeping watch to make sure the angel finally leaves! Why the fuck would he want to see Adam? The First Man was dead, and good fucking riddance!

His tail flickered and snapped to the ground in impatience. A vein popping from annoyance.

…Just how long is that angel going to keep crying like a baby and fuck off to Heaven? For fucks sake, it been almost an hour already! It’s surprising that a woman would actually cry over Adam (Adam no bitches, ha!) but Lucifer just wants her to be gone already. God, what a stupid bitch, crying over a man like Adam. His eyes narrowed at the albino angel. Look at her, looking like some poor wife whose husband was just murdered in front of her. He could puke. If she doesn’t fly up to Heaven, Lucifer’s going to send her to where her precious ‘Sir Adam’ is-!

! Lucifer’s train of thought is stopped suddenly when he hears a quiet, but sharp inhale for air.

“S-Sir?”

He looks over in confusion, and then shock.

Adam sits up. His big gold wings twitching weakly at his side. There was gold blood everywhere. Holy blood of the angels who served God and Heaven faithfully. It was fucking everywhere.

And Adam… was still alive? Lucifer’s red eyes zeroed on where Charlie’s little crazy sinner had went all crazy on Adam.

There was nothing but a scar.

Huh.

Seems like no matter how garbage Adam had become, he was still Father’s most beloved human.

“Adam! Sir! Your alive, thank fucking god!” The exorcist that was by Adam’s side let out a big sigh of relief. Gold eyes lit up in joy.

Adam ignored her though, terribly rude that man (no fucking surprise, this was Adam after all) just to look at Lucifer dead straight in the eyes.

“Stay there Lute. I need to have a chat with this God Damned asshole real quick.”

Blessed gold eyes of an angel at Damned red eyes of the Devil.

(bright brown eyes of Man meeting twinkling gold eyes of the Morningstar.)

Adam stood up. He was a big guy, and Lucifer was as short as ever. So if if it were anyone else, the sight of Adam hulking over them in fury would make any sinner tremble and bolt away. But not Lucifer, whose eyes never strayed away from Adam.

He could see how Adam was still weak and vulnerable despite having a divine intervention equivalent to a bandaid slapped on him by God.

“I’m surprised you could survive that, Adam.” Lucifer says, smiling coldly. His red eyes were sharp, but he stayed at ease and unwary as Adam the First Man approached him, ignoring his lieutenant for Lucifer “But I guess you could survive anything if you are God’s ‘perfect’ creation.”

“You fucking asshole…!”

Lucifer wasn’t surprised when Adam grabbed ahold of his collar with his one hand to pull him closer and pulled the other hand to punch him

(If Adam wants another round of being a loser, then Lucifer will give him one. He always strived to give what Adam asked for after all, lol.)

Adam gritted his teeth, his hands shaking. His every cell in his body aching to fucking rip the head of this smug asshole who ruined his life and the entire humanity, and just beat up the headless body to the ground.

But killing Lucifer was his second greatest wish. What he really wanted was-

“Kill me.”

Cricket Noise.

Lucifer stared at him as if he lost his mind,

“Adam what the fuck???”

“The fuck?” Lucifer’s smarmy smug smile was gone, and stared at Adam with big wide eyes, his red slit pupils becoming round again from how he was taken aback by Adam’s sudden loss of sanity “Are you okay? Did that munchkin sinner also hit your head or did Dad whacked your head so hard from healing you that you suddenly lost sense?”

“I’m serious, Lucifer. Kill me. Do whatever you want with me. Just make it quick, because you owe me you asshole. Kill me and let’s be done with it. Hurry the fuck up Lucifer. It shouldn’t be a problem for you since your the Devil and you hate my guts, so just fucking do it already you goddamn asshole!”

Adam was yelling and shaking Lucifer so hard, his voice growing louder and louder. Growing more manic and desperate as he tugged Lucifer back and forth. Adam roared “LUCIFER!-” but was cut off.

Lucifer pulled Adam’s hands off him easily, and instead, gave him a slap so hard it would leave a mark.

Adam was stunned to silence, face still turned to the side. A red slapmark bright on his face, with four gold scratches that were left behind by Lucifer’s claws.

Good.

A slap that hard and painful should be enough to put some sense back to him!

“Adam! What has gotten into you?!” Lucifer snapped.

The angel, Lute (a name he would continue on ignoring and forgetting as the woman herself) steps forward to pull Adam back, who only shook her hand off and grabbed Lucifer’s wrist.

Adam’s hand was much bigger than Lucifer’s thigh, so his wrist was easily wrapped around as if Adam was just holding a stick. A pasty, white pale stick.

If Lucifer wasn’t who he was, and if only Adam could, Adam would have snapped the wrist in his hand a long time ago.

“I’ve been stabbed to death by a psycho sinner of yours, Lucifer. Why the fuck am I still alive?!”

“Not my fault, Adam! That would be God’s and Heaven’s or a You Fault!” Lucifer pulled his hand away, shaking his hand as if Adam really did hurt him “For fucks sake, one would think you’d be thankful and swear revenge on us or some shit, instead of this crazy crap your pulling on me right now.”

“Kill me!” Crazy Adam yelled.

“Get a fucking grip, Adam!” Lucifer yelled back, pushing Adam from him “I am not doing that!”

“Of course you wouldn’t help me out. Of course. You’re Lucifer. A fucking asshole who hates me to the core. You'd rather have me suffer eternity than kill me! God, you are such a fucking asshole! You wife-stealing, garden killing, God damned devil asshole!” The look of rage and insanity in Adam’s eyes with his words made Lucifer flinch “You ruined my life. You ruined humanity. You ruined Eden! You owe me Lucifer! You fucking owe me but once again, you proved yourself to be the same fucking asshole who can’t do anything right! FUCK YOU LUCIFER!” Adam screamed.

Adam stepped back, and stopped looking at Lucifer and instead, at his own hands. A haunted look in his eyes and a look of horror on his face.

"Three hundred thousand years.” Adam whispered, staring at his shaking hands “I’ve been alive and existing for three hundred thousand years since God created me and Lilith-” Lucifer flinched at the mention of of his estranged wife “and I’m still not dead. Why am I not fucking dead?”

“shit.” Lute cursed quietly, eyes focused on her leader and the shitshow was happening. She looked around, and it was still only them. But that will not last for long “Sir, we have to go. Heaven is calling us back.”

“Shut the fuck up, birdbrain. Can’t you see he’s having a breakdown? I don’t know what’s his problem but help for fucksss sssake!” Lucifer says, angry.

“I’m trying!” Lute snapped back at the King of Hell. Lucifer Bristled at the rude impertinent useless wench for having the gall-!

“I’ve spent my entire fucking life, afterlife included, being good and obedient and all that shit for God and Heaven. I listened to every single fucking thing they said, and did whatever I was asked to do! I did nothing wrong! Even when I have to be responsible of shit, of garbage, that wasn’t mine to be taken care of, I still did it. Because it was asked of me!”

Adam stepped away from Lute’s carefully reaching hands, far away he stumbled on a broken construction of the Hazbin Hotel, and he leaned against it. Hunching over, his wings drawing closer to him, trying to make himself as small as possible.

“I did nothing wrong. I did everything right. Everything they asked me. Everything.” was all Adam said, losing more sense and becoming more emotional and irrational in his grief “Why am I still alive?”

Adam looked up at the shy. Up at Heaven. He looked up and hoped that the goddamn Big G was up there wand listening to him at this very moment.

“I did everything you wanted me to do. I did everything for Heaven. I was a faithful and obedient servant of yours. So fucking tell me why in the fucking Lucifer shitstained face did you bring me back you b-” Lucifer’s eyes went wide at Adam finally losing all sanity. Did this idiot want to Fall? He was definitely going to Fall with how he was cursing God “I’ve done EVERYTHING! I’VE BEEN PATIENT AND STEADFAST AND STEADY IN MY FAITH AND SERVICE. I DID ALL THAT WAS ASKED OF ME SO WHY DID YOU BRING ME BACK?! WHY WHY WHY WHY-”

Adam collapsed on his knees.

“Just let me return to dust and be at fucking peace, please…” Adam dropped his face in his hands. A small muffled sob escaped. He looked small and weak. Pathetic.

He looked miserable.

Lucifer feels a discomfort in his heart at the sight. He tries to swallow the hard lump in his throat.

And then Heaven’s light reached down to Hell and touched where Adam was kneeling. Gold, holy divine light that would turn any sinner and overlord and Sins to ash, and give Lucifer a big fucking nasty ass burns if the light were on them.

That wasn’t just Heaven.

That was God.

(Fucking hell. You ignore your black sheep of a son who tries to talk to you for thousands of years , but you respond to the crazy mental breakdown of Adam at once? Way to make your favoritism obvious, Dad!)

Adam’s eyes are big and round glimmering gold in that light.

“IT IS NOT YOUR TIME YET, ADAM. LIVE.”

And the light fades away, leaving behind a dead-eyed, empty looking son of a bitch who has gone all lifeless and colorless.

“Adam?” Lucifer hesitantly reaches out, concerned.

Lute steps in front of the King of Hell with a steely look in her puffy, red rimmed eyes. She looked pathetic with her wounds and one arm missing. But despite her sorry appearance, she was still blocking Lucifer from Adam.

“Lute, stop fucking asking for a quick death by pissing off the shitty Devil and lets fucking go.”

“Wait, Adam-”

“I have nothing to say to you other than your a fucking useless asshole. I hope I never see your ugly face again.” Adam says.

With that, Adam then just ignores him as if he’s wind, and with Lute’s aid, flies back up to the portal to Heaven.

Leaving Lucifer looking up at the sky where the portal Adam had been with a strange knotted feeling in his chest. His hands were curled tight and shaking.

What... What had just happened?

PART ONE END.

#hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel adam #ao3 fanfic in the process #my writing #also #adamcore #adam headcanons #hazbin hotel lucifer morningstar #lucifer x adam #adamsapple #guitarapple

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ffcrazy15 · 5 months

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"Just Write For Yourself"

I think the thing that gets to me the most about the whole "just write for yourself!" response to writers complaining the lack of engagement in fanfic, is that it makes me realize that there's a fundamental misunderstanding between writers and readers of how much work writing fic is.

Like, there are 2-3 scenes in any given oneshot or chapter that I want to write. I usually write those first. They'll take me a couple of, very enjoyable, hours at most.

And then I have to go back and write the whole rest of the fic. Which is work. And it's usually not immediately enjoyable.

For example, one of my best fics on AO3 is a Star Trek fanfic called Rascal'ed. This was one of the fics that was easiest for me to write, one of the ones that just possesses you until it's done. It took me less than five days to create.

And I still had to go back in and fill in blank spots and cut bad prose and revise the dialogue.

If you want to see what a difficult fic to write looks like, like my fic Leap of Faith, here's what I do for my stories that I actually plan out:

And that's just the planning. I still have to write the damn thing. And there are things in the above layout—which is just for Chapter 1, mind—that got changed between this and the final published version of the chapter. You can see that the title of the story itself was changed at some point.

So when people say, "write for yourself, not for engagement!" What I personally hear is: "I as a reader do not understand how much work writers put into getting a story into a publishable form, and I also do not realize how easy it would be for them to write the couple of scenes they enjoyed writing and then to let it sit forever in their drafts."

(Of these eight fics—averaging more than 20 pages each—only two of them ever made it to AO3. The rest remain unfinished and unpublished.)

And for the record: I, personally, have wonderful readers. Kind, attentive readers who leave me comments engaging with the work. And it's because of them that I continue to publish stories! Like, I don't want to sound like sour grapes here, because I know that I get way more comments than many great writers out there.

But I've seen, across the board, writers trying to express that they are just not getting the engagement that they desire and expect for the work they put in, and people responding with "you shouldn't expect engagement; just write for yourself."

And the thing is, I know they're not trying to be rude. I know that! Of course they don't know how hard we work, who would have ever told them? We can't blame them for not knowing what they've never been told. Which is why I just felt the need to get out here and say:

Writing fics takes a lot of work. A lot of work. Hours upon hours of unpaid labor. Any fic that you see on AO3 or Fanfiction.net or Wattpad, is not something someone wrote solely for themselves. They could have just daydreamed about it, or written a couple of scenes and then left it unfinished. But they chose to put in the hard work it took to finish it. Because they wanted other people to read and engage with it.

Please engage with it.

Because if all fic writers ever hear is "you should just write for yourself"—we might start believing it.

#fanfic writers #ao3 #writing #fanfic writing #fanfiction #fanfic #write for yourself #the mortifying ordeal of showing your fic writing process to strangers on the internet

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