#are like. from the soul. from the personal experience of someone who genuinely wants to experiment!!!

[dykeofmisfortune]

i think it's completely accurate to call mcr a queer band like they literally ARE Doing Queerness when gerard does real gender fuckery and they kiss each other and call themselves "the fag from mcr" and write faggot on their neck and ask boys to take off their shirts during concerts and do camp affectation like that is just. queer. it's stupid and reductionist to force them into labels of being "straight guys appropriating lgbt aesthetics"

[caramelkoo]

before we shatter — jjk [two]

genre : established relationship, idol!jungkook

word count : 5.1k

summary : dating an idol is fun, they said. having a family with one is fun, they said. Until you're falling face forward because of your reality. A reality where Jungkook dreams of a future and a reality where your own future is collapsed.

chapter warnings : ANGST, eventual fluff, mentions death of a loved one, mentions of Alzheimer's disease, strong language, mature, cheating (not by the main characters), jungkook will piss you off but he's deserving of love too :((, slight making out but nothing else. i think that's it, please mention if i missed anything.

a/n : OH MY GOD IT TOOK ME FOREVER !!!! here it is my pookies <333 i hope this will heal the past trauma that part one caused yall omfg. i love you so much and send an ask if you want to. You're so so cherished.

Jungkook’s fingers press on the digital lock before it beeps, indicating the door has been unlocked. 

“Babe, I’m home” 

He expects his girlfriend, Nicole to say anything in response but, on the contrary, all he gets is pure silence. Not a single person breathing the same air as him inside the house. His eyebrows crease in utter confusion and he wonders if he she went outside in order to run any errands.

Nicole is a fashion designer who he met when she was appointed to design his concert outfits for the group’s previous world tour. At first, there were some stolen glances, eye contacts, and innocent touches but when he found himself looking for her in the room full of people, it had to be more than that. 

At the risk of sounding like a nervous wreck with zero experience with women, Jungkook had walked back and forth approximately 46 times before he took up the hatchet to ask her on a date, to which she’d smirked and whispered a yes in response.

Listen, Jungkook is a confident man. Add a confident yet adorably shy woman beside him and you have got yourself the perfect mix of charisma and charm. Not to say that he was not totally enthralled by her. He genuinely wanted to get to know her better and that’s not only because she was confident, of course. 

Ordinarily, he’d find her on the couch going through her designs or making herself the 50th cup of coffee. It all really depends, but tonight the eerie silence surrounding him makes his stomach hurt. A nagging feeling arises in his chest and he hopes everything is okay. 

He releases a breath and walks further in towards the bedroom. Who knows, she got tired of working all day and went in there to take a nap. 

Much to his disappointment, just as his hands grip the doorknob, a moan comes from the other side of the wall and he freezes. 

“You’re so good to mommy, aren’t you?” 

He can’t mistake the voice even if he tries to. He hears it all day, every night by his side. 

Nicole has complemented him in every spectrum of their relationship. She’d been equally successful, equally fun and adventurous, and matched every desire and aspirations of his.

Tow bodies, one soul if you will.

Turns out, she lagged behind on the spectrum of honesty. 

Knowing he can’t be just standing there and not find out who she’s been fucking behind his back, he twists the knob and pushes the door open. The moan which earlier caused his heart to momentarily stop now turning into a full blown scream. 

“What the fuck?” 

You might prefer to think that Jungkook was the one to exclaim that, but no. Sitting on the bed with wide eyes and no clothes is his manager, Tae moo. Next to him is Nicole, trying to cover herself up with the help of the duvet as if she’d not spent the majority of nights sleeping beside Jungkook in the very same state after he’d made love to her. 

“Jungkook, baby. I can explain” 

His jaw goes tight, voice turning shaky. “Get out of my house.” 

Fierce eyes are pointed at the manager the whole time and he doesn’t even bother to look at Nicole. As if someone had set his non-existent pants on fire,Tae moo hurries and plucks whatever fabric he can from the floor and rushes outside. 

When Jungkook finally glances at Nicole, she’s got the same look on her face which she does when she wants something from him but can’t get herself to form the words. Desperate and pleading. 

He pinches the bridge of his nose, tone acidic when he asks, “Why are you still here?” 

“What?” 

“Why? Did he fuck the common sense out of you?” 

She blanches at his words, clearly not expecting him to talk like that. “Please don’t talk to me like that. I told you I can explain.”

Jungkook can’t help but let out a chuckle infused with bitterness and disbelief, “What could possibly justify you fucking my manager, Nicole. Were you lonely? Did I not give you enough love and attention? Was my dick not enough for you that you just had to jump on another one?” 

Every word that comes out of his mouth has an intention of hurting the woman in front of him. Standing there when Jungkook tries to figure out any possible cause of this betrayal, he registers something.

While Jungkook was thriving because of the fact that he has a woman who supports him and keeps him on his toes, holds him when the world gets mean to him, the said woman was using him to feed her ego. He had been indispensable for her to gain the popularity that was left for her. The truth that he'd been a ladder all along for her in order to climb till success hits him like a torrent and an ache throbs through his chest. 

“Why would you need another designer when I’m here?”

“Jungkook c’mon, all my friends are gonna be there. Don’t be a spoilsport.” 

“Do they not let you post your girlfriends on your official instagram profile?” 

Everything falls into place like a missing piece of puzzle fitting into space. Additionally, Nicole had not even gotten close with any of Jungkook’s friends’ girlfriends and he’d decided not to dwell on the fact for his own peace.

Arguably, some people just don’t click and that’s fine. Except, those people don’t denounce other women behind their back. Her adulterated personality was oozing out of her and he managed to miss it. 

“I don’t know, babe. Her dress was too revealing. Take it from a fashion designer when I tell you she was not fit for that dress” 

“Isn’t she too touchy with her boyfriend in public? I mean I understand you’re in love but jeez” 

It is often said that when you’re in love, you’re unable to see your lover’s flaws because you get blinded. Blinded by their beauty, their charm, and their affection towards you. Safe to say, Jungkook can relate. 

“Get out”

‘Please just liste-”

His pitch goes higher. “RIGHT.NOW” 

Subsequently, he had been off the market for two whole years. Unfortunately, though, he couldn’t escape the endless amount of impolite and not to mention personal questions about his relationship during the interviews. 

“Jungkook, you were seen coming out of several restaurants and clubs with a woman a few years back, but we’ve not seen her for a while now. Is there something you’d like your fans to know?”  

“The ladies out there are having a field day because it seems our favourite superstar, Jeon Jungkook is single again” 

“Is there any chance of us getting to see the mysterious woman again?” 

Fucking exhausting. 

Then, one fine day, he met you.

˚୨୧⋆｡˚

Maybe, the trust issues made home inside of him after he found his ex-girlfriend naked and sweaty on his bed with his manager. Maybe, you can blame it on the fact that he had still not gotten over the agony caused by his past relationship.

It’s almost like the words that come out of his mouth throw him two years back to the very same room where he tasted the vile taste of betrayal. 

“Tell me, honey. Is it the important thing you wanted to talk about but held back just to get a good fuck out of me?” 

The sentence is so absurd and disgusting that you can’t stop your hands from connecting with his face with a hard force. His face turns sideways as his skin stings because of the slap.

“Watch your tone with me, Jeon Jungkook.” The words are barely a whisper as you gulp, flying into a rage and hoping he eats his own words. 

You’re half naked, your hair's a damn mess and you probably have a swollen face with boogers in your eyes, but at this moment, you have to stand up for yourself without caring about any of that. You can’t be the person to take first hand beating of something you haven’t even thought of doing.

When he looks back at you, you wish someone was holding you because your legs feel weak. The look of betrayal and anger is long gone and now the only thing that exists behind those big doe eyes is hurt. A pain which makes you want to disintegrate. 

“Baby, I didn’t mean-”

“You know what, _____? I would have seen this coming. I was a fucking fool to even wish for a normal bond with someone without some shit happening to us.” 

You watch him storm out the door, slamming it so hard it rattles on its hinges after throwing the blue file on the bed. Your feet remain frozen to the wooden floor and you hope he comes running back in, says he’s sorry and he wants to talk it out. 

“Some shit”. He just called the whole situation shit.

A terrible labyrinth of anger, guilt and grief traps you as you find yourself wishing that a tight hug could fix the scattered pieces and mould your relationship back into one beautiful piece.

The words on the report stare back at you as they somehow feel more painful now that your boyfriend is aware of them. He knows he’s got into something he hasn’t signed up for and the thought that before you could even explain everything to him, before you could even tell him that you would rather die but hide anything let alone information as huge as this, he’d walked out. 

Placing the file on the nightstand, you go through your usual morning routine. Take a shower, change into fresh clothes and take your supplements.

Everything is blurry to you, the feeling of loss lingering deep in your chest, slightly aware of the fact that physically, Jungkook is nearby, mentally? You’re not so sure.

Despite your better judgement, you walk towards the kitchen with the motive of making your breakfast and you find Jungkook looking for something under the couch with two suitcases standing in front of the door. Was he gonna leave without letting you know? When did he even pack?

You take a deep breath and release, knowing exactly what he is looking for, “Are you looking for your glasses?” 

He straightens back up and holds your gaze. There’s a bit of delay before his answer reaches your ears. “Yeah um, I can’t seem to find them anywhere” 

A minuscule smile forms on your face, “They’re inside the bedside drawer. I kept them there cause you know, you tend to lose them” 

He doesn’t share the humor as you feel a pang in your chest intensifying. It’s suddenly so quiet that you can hear your as well as his breathing. And it’s uneven. Has your home always been this quiet? 

You clear your throat, eyes finding the suitcases behind him, “Heading somewhere?” 

He does the same and looks back at you. “Yeah uh, you remember Jimin calling me yesterday when we-,” he pauses, “Well, I have to go overseas to promote the album and get done with some other formalities” 

You flash him an understanding smile, feeling utterly shattered inside and not sure if you should ask him as to why he didn't bother to let you know or just let it slide. The question is right at the tip of your tongue but thinking better of it, you gulp it back down. 

“Of course. How long will you be gone?” 

He slides his hands inside his front pockets and sighs, “Probably a week. You can’t be precise when it comes to promotions.” 

“Alright,” you halt, “Uh.. do you want me to get the glasses for yo-” 

“No, I've got it.” He says as he excuses himself. When he comes back, the glasses are resting on his nose making him look even more beautiful than he already is in your eyes. 

A faint memory of you wiping his glasses for him with your slip dress comes to the surface and you hide a smile.

You watch him round the kitchen counter and pick up his jacket. As he grips the suitcases with both of his hands, the gleaming bracelet catches your attention. 

What are the odds of him preparing to live without it on his wrist? What are the odds of him preparing to live without you? 

You’re not surprised when he begins walking out the front door without saying a word. But you know you have to. You have to let him know that you don’t have any intention of giving up on him. 

With your palms turning clammy, you speak and prepare yourself for whatever comes back as a response, “Wait” 

His feet come to a stop, but him not bothering to turn around does nothing to ease your ache if not adds to it.

Swallowing, you continue, “Whe-when you come back, I want to talk it out. I want you to know that you mean too much to me for me to hide such a major information from you and one that has to do with both of us at that. Yes, I held back for a while but that’s just because I wanted to forget,” the damn tears are threatening to fall yet again, “I wanted to feel for the last time what it's like to be in your arms, your warmth before I break your heart and mine in the process,” Your fastening heartbeat causes you to grip your cardigan in a tight fist, 

“Can I at least get a hug?” 

His shoulders visibly go tensed as he admits over his shoulders, “I’m afraid if I so much as look at you for more than a second, I will break.” 

With that the front door opens and closes, leaving you with nothing but warm tears. You try your fucking hardest not to take his statement as face value but god you want to curl up and die. Although, you know none of this is your fault. If only you could see what the future holds, everything could have been much more bearable. 

You’re scared you’ll lose everything— him, your happiness, your future together. 

You’re scared you’ll burn.

˚୨୧⋆｡˚

For as long as he can remember, Jungkook’s childhood had been filled with vivid memories of his parents’ kisses, them being madly in love with each other, dancing in the kitchen, planning picnic dates and thousands of giggles. He had been blessed with a mother who loved his father more than Jungkook has ever seen someone loving the other person, and his father reciprocated the love tenfold. 

Along with the love he also had another emotion wrapped around his heart in a tight grip. Fear. Fear that all of that would dissipate. You know, how sometimes when you’re too happy, there’s just a fucking voice inside of you screaming, “It won’t last long”? 

That’s exactly what he used to feel. The root of the fear was a mystery to him and he even tried to forget about it, thinking it might be just a pipe dream.

Except, it was not. 

And then one day, like a bolt from the blue, Jungkook’s dad was gone.

He still remembers the day very clearly when he saw his dad’s body being carried away on a stretcher, heavy and cold. Meanwhile, he just stood there with fat tears streaming down his cheeks, his mom arms stopping him from running behind his father.

Then, if that was not enough to break him, he lost his mom. Not physically but mentally when her mental state started to deteriorate over the next few years. Before he knew it, his mother totally forgot about his identity as well as his father’s. Apparently, that left a scar far too deep.

What’s it like to forget the ones you love?

Even though Jungkook had made peace with the fact that his mother will never return the same way he’d known her for, a small part of him still hopes. After all, what’s so wrong in hoping? 

His feet drag him down the long hallway filled with wooden brown doors until he stops and stands before one. He clears his throat as he watches the woman just lie there and stare into nothing in particular. 

When he gains her attention, a smile breaks out from her lips, “There you are. I knew you would come, Jimin.” 

Jungkook runs a palm over his chest, a futile effort to soothe the ache.

“It’s Jungkook, mom. Your son” 

“My son? How do you know my son?” The vivaciousness long gone from his mom’s voice.

He swallows and gets further inside the room. He doesn’t try to push it because he knows for a fact that even if she recognizes him today, if tomorrow he comes back he’ll be either Jimin or Namjoon or some random man he’s never heard of. 

“How are you doing?” 

His mom sighs, a pout on her lips as she looks down, “Still the same. I asked the nurse for a cup of tea hours back but she seems to have forgotten about it. That witch.” 

He chuckles, sitting himself on the stool. “I’m sure she’s bringing it in for you.” 

Her eyes move over to the window and settle on the maple tree outside. Just watching it. Jungkook ponders if she remembers chasing him under the maple tree when he was a child. It’s his favorite memory.

“A kind woman stopped by a few days back. God knows what her name was but she had this.. sad look in her eyes, as if someone had snatched something away from her and she’s broken over it. I wonder if people look at me and feel the same amount of sympathy that I did towards her that day. I’m not a fool, I know I’m sick. I could be dead by tomorrow for all you know,” she releases a small sigh as Jungkook waits for her to continue. 

Except she doesn’t and in that moment, Jungkook just…. knows. 

˚୨୧⋆｡˚

Jungkook’s eyes have not left the silver bracelet on his wrist for a while now, brushing it with his fingers lightly as if that would help him rectify his mistakes. He wants to slap himself whenever he remembers the look on your face when those cursed words left him. You looked so broken, so tired.

The woman his mother mentioned is you, it’s so obvious. Something about the way she told him about you made him want to swallow a fistful of iron nails. Fuck even that would hurt less. For a second he saw himself at her place and that made his insides twist in such a way that he didn’t understand. 

What if one day he just wakes up and doesn’t remember you? What if it all just disappears? Her memories, your smile, your sweet giggles, your moans, your touch. 

The thought itself makes him want to rip something into pieces not to mention rip his own heart into pieces. 

Jungkook can hardly walk through the veil of darkness which fills the hall. He holds his phone screen up for light, calling out for you.

“Honey, you home?” 

No response. With his heart in his throat he starts moving towards the bedroom. Gripping the doorknob, he twists it as the door clicks open. Before he can start panicking because of the empty room with nothing but his own stuff scattered around, a cough reaches his ears. 

His brows crease into a frown, confused. “_____, I’m starting to worry.” 

Another cough follows, making his breath pick up its pace. Following the sound, he finds himself standing outside the guest room’s door. Wasting no time he pushes the door open as he watches you on the bed covered in layers of blanket with sweat all over your forehead.

He rushes to you in a quick second, heart beating fast. “Hey, hey baby,” voice coming out as gently as possible, “You okay? Why are you here?” 

Your eyes land on his face as you sniff. “This is what happens when you eat your weight in a bucket full of ice cream on a Sunday night.” 

Jungkook’s expression flashes with relief, grateful that it’s nothing more than an unfortunate cold. 

“You should leave.”

He blinks, “What?” 

“You're more contagious to the cold than anyone I know, baby. Go. I’ll be fine” 

To be honest, he could give zero fucks about catching a cold right now. He holds your gaze for a long moment before standing up. 

A quick look of hurt passes through your eyes, but you recover just as quickly. 

“If you think I’m gonna leave you here in this state then you underestimate my love for you, honey. I don’t know if you remember, but you wanted us to talk once I come back and I want you to get better and get talking, alright? God knows how I managed to have survived two weeks without you by my side, but now that I’m here, you’re going nowhere out of my sight.” 

“Jungkoo-”

He interrupts, “As for those reports, I don’t give a fuck. I don’t care if we can’t have kids normally as most people do,” he runs his hands through his black locks, messing them up as he continues,

“In every sense of the word, I just want you. I want you right here with me, holding my hand and making me the happiest motherfucker ever. We’ll try something else. We’ll adopt, we’ll go with IVF, we’ll-” 

“Jungkook” 

“Yeah?” 

“Breathe, baby” 

So he does as he fills his chest with air, taking a moment to relax. Reaching over, you take his hands in your soft and warm ones, caressing his knuckle tattoo.

“Do I have the permission to be selfish just for one more time?” 

He offers you a weak smile, “You were never selfish to begin with, my love.” 

Your hands pull him towards you until he’s lying down by your side. He wraps his arms around you, holding you so close you’re almost one.  

Jungkook presses a kiss on your clammy forehead followed by one on the tip of your nose, “You okay?” 

“I am now” you whisper, letting your head drop weakly forward to pepper kisses across his hoodie clad chest. 

“I’m gonna speak now and I want you to listen, okay?” 

“Okay.” 

Your fingers clutch his hoodie in a small fist as you begin, “I lied about babysitting Coco and I’m sorry about that since I know we promised to never lie to each other, but I had a reason for that. I was at the hospital when you called. I knew you would be at the studio and I didn’t want to put you through that when you’re working,” 

You look up at him, eyes full of love and affection, “When I was young, my mom showed me an orange butterfly which I immediately fell in love with. I played with it for hours before I went back inside the house. I let it go, wishing it would visit me again. I had to let that butterfly go, Jungkook. Because I knew I couldn’t keep holding onto it. I was gonna do the same with you that night. I had it all planned out, I was gonna let you know about my infertility and then I was going to ask you for a breakup. Thankfully, I didn’t. Do you know why?”

Resigned, Jungkook shakes his head as a teardrop falls. 

“Because some things and some people are worth staying for. You’re worth staying for. I was stupid enough to think that I would survive without you, that I would be able to weather the storm without you by my side.” 

You’re sobbing now, sniffing as your fingers wipe Jungkook’s tears away. 

He cups your cheek, his fingers brushing featherlight on your skin as the most tantalizing caress. “You don’t have to. I’ll never leave you, baby. You’re it for me. I can’t breathe without you, _____. Do I want a family one day? Of course, Do I want it without you in it? Over my dead body. You’re my present and I very much have the intention of making you my future too. With all due respect, but something as trivial as that report is not gonna stop me from doing that.” 

A heavy moment of silence hangs in the air as he just stares at the love of his life, he didn’t even realize when the power came back, illuminating the whole guest room.

You are the first one to say, “I love you.” 

“I love you the most.” he declares as his lips brush with yours with immense gentleness and love. 

“Jungkook?” 

“Yeah honey?” 

“What do you think about calling our daughter, Ji woo? If we ever have one?” your voice comes out muffled because of the way you’re snuggled against his chest. 

His lips stretch into the biggest grin ever, chest filling with pride because the woman who he loves the most in his life asked to name the girl he’d love the most in his life after a woman who loves him the most in her life. Even if she doesn’t know it. 

“I’d love that.” 

˚୨୧⋆｡˚

Few years later 

“What-” you gasp as your body goes tense for a quick second before relaxing against Jungkook’s chest. His arms circling around your waist, making you feel cozy and at home. 

“You really need to stop scaring me like this.” 

“Why? I can’t hug my wife now? I know you secretly like back hugs.” 

Wife. The word still holds the same love and power as it did the first time he asked “Will you be my wife and make me the happiest man in the world, honey?” 

You let your head fall back against his chest and look up at him, “You know what? I do.” 

“I know you like the back of my hand, wifey.” he says, leaning down to drop a light kiss on your forehead. 

“I love it when you call me that, but right now you’re distracting me.” Your hands start running over his forearms, caressing. It’s like a habit for you. You need to touch him whenever you can, feel him close to you as much as possible. He’s always so warm and soft, it makes you all fuzzy on the inside. 

His mouth nibbles on your ear, making you shudder. “I don’t think so. Besides I barely get to have you for myself these days.” 

You sigh and just let yourself relax in his hold. The past few days have been hectic to say the least and nothing can heal you better than being in your husband’s arms. “How was practice, baby?”

Jungkook has been working on a new album resulting in him spending most of his time in the studio. You miss him, of course, it’s only normal, but you’re also beyond proud. He took a momentous break from his work the same year you guys were facing issues and he didn’t so much as leave your side, promising to always stick around. Through thick and thin as he said in the wedding vows. 

He ignores your question and sucks on your neck, making you groan. 

“Jungkook” His lips find yours and he steals a kiss, hands pushing under your sundress as he caresses the back of your thigh. Goosebumps break out all over your body and you curse at the fact that he still holds so much power over you. Your legs go weak and your clutch onto his shoulder for support. 

As he lets your lips go with a loud pop, you open your eyes and look at him. 

“What are the chances of me getting lucky tonight?” he asks, hands still under your dress, now grazing your ass. 

“It-”

Before you could answer him, the sound of tiny footsteps running towards you both reached you. And there she is, your prettiest five year old letting out the biggest shriek after she sees her daddy all but falling down from enthusiasm.

“Da!” her feet pick up the pace as she runs towards him with arms wide open. 

You detangle yourself from your husband’s hold and he takes a step back.

He crouches down and catches your little girl, Ji woo, in his arms. Groaning as she crashes into him. “Ooff” 

“Da, I missed you. You’re coming to the picnic with us, right? Mommy says you are.” 

You watch him laugh and peck her chubby cheek. “Of course, sunshine. Nice daddies never miss picnics with their daughters, do they?” 

As they talk like their goofy selves, you just take a moment and watch. By the grace of all things good, you’ve had the chance to visit almost everywhere in the world, but this right here is the best view. After musing about it, you and Jungkook decided to go with IVF and you’ve not regretted it ever since. Hands down the best decision of your life. 

Waking up and seeing your husband with your daughter sprawled on his chest as she lets out tiny little snores, watching her fall in love with the same eyes as you did, going on family dates, going to his concerts wearing the same outfits and whatnot. It’s more than enough for you to thank your lucky stars that you stayed. 

“Mommy, daddy says he’ll not steal my strawberry this time.” 

You offer her a gentle smile. “Daddy is a little liar, baby” 

She lets out the cutest gasp ever, cupping Jungkook’s face with her tiny hands. His face is so big in her hands it’s almost chucklesome.

“Is that right, daddy?” 

He playfully narrows his eyes at you as you stick your tongue out. “Mommy’s just jealous because you love daddy more. Now, what do you think of making those bracelets together?”

Ji woo’s face lights up like the fourth of July and she starts squirming like a little butterfly in his arms, flapping her arms. She’s been asking for her own bracelet after seeing the silver one on Jungkook’s wrist for years now. He suggested custom making one and she got so excited one would think he got her a pet dog or something. Although, he’s considering that too. Nothing surprising there.

When it comes to Ji woo, Jungkook is a loser in love. You’ve never seen him looking at another girl the same way he looks at his daughter. Besides you, of course. It’s innocent, pure and all things perfect. 

Before they both leave, she gives you a kiss on the cheek, covering her eyes when your husband pecks your lips.

Your eyes find the butterfly tattoo on your wrist, sometimes seeing it in your daughter. Excited, lively and someone who makes you want to wish it never disappears, the only difference?

Jungkook’s not afraid that everyone will let him go and you’re not uneasy about how you will have no reason to not let go. 

You’re healed.

He’s healed. 

taglist (ilusm guys) : @woodarevil-blog @kookooquette @busanbby-jjk @chaelvrx @kaiparkerwifes @elithenium @vixensph @carriereadsbooks @mageprincess7 @queenbloody @hinatsu @parkinglot-nights @kookiescutie @ggukieskookie @jimineepaboya @cuteipat @dolligguk @bookstoread199 @chokoopie @lovingkoalaface

[lustlovehart]

I was skimming your monster hunter reader posts, and now I’m curious. Reaper Idia seems to kind of waffle between wanting reader to die so they can be together and not wanting reader to die? If that’s the case, how would he react if he ever had to collect the reader’s soul after a monster hunting job gone wrong? Would he be upset, or would he be relieved he doesn’t have to share anymore? Thanks!

Cw: Death, Obsession/Posession

I’m actually glad someone noticed it!! I make some (not all of them, a lot of the cast genuinely believe you being a monster is best and don’t feel guilty at all) of them experience some sort of guilt for wanting MH!Reader to be a monster, but ultimately, they mostly lean towards it being the best outcome.

Deuce and Silver are the few who don’t think it is, but go along with everyone elses decision. And of course Rollo vehemently disagrees.

But, Idia is the only one whose opinion goes back and forth all the time. On one hand, death is brutal, whether quick and painless or long and excruciating, when you’re dead it’s all the same, cruel. But, he’s never known the souls he collects, not on a personal level anyway. He knows that death itself is supposedly a depressing topic in the human world, but it’s his whole life, so it doesn’t bother him. But then you come along… and his views have a swaying opinion.

He doesn’t won’t you to die in pain, but neither does he want you to die painlessly and wake up in the after-life in despair over your sudden death. He doesn’t want that at all… But in the after-life, with him forever… He knows he’s a hypocrite for saying death is cruel, and then secretly wishing to not let you pass on.

Having eternity with you, his favorite person— no… being in existence is a dream. But a person after death, is different from when they were alive… which…

Which is why when he as to collect your soul, he feels so conflicted.

When you look down at your body in your new transparent form, you’re in shock. Everyone is when it happens, he’s witnessed it thousands of times. This is the only time he’ll comfort someone over it though. His hand on your shoulder, letting you slump against him at your despair. It starts with sorrow until he’s guiding you on. You both watch as the monsters gather around, attempting to collect a soul that’s being held by Idia.

Maybe that’s why he quickly took hold of you, so they couldn’t bring you back… Maybe…

You watch Rollo's face when he receives through letter from the monsters themselves of your passing. It’s Grim, the way he falls in on himself like he’s lost everything. But to be fair, Idia knows that he has lost it all, because Rollo’s everything is holding hands with him right now. He stops you from attempting to comfort him, he won’t see or hear any of it anyway. (No… the truth is if you do, you might stay a ghost here forever, and he… doesn't want that.)

When you’ve walked through the entirety of your life, and the moment to pass on has finally come, you smile at him.

But Idia’s not smiling.

When you leave, the light is sliced, Idias head rested on your shoulder as he apologizes.

“I… don’t want that.”

Summary: He starts conflicted with having you live and die when you’re alive. When you finally do die, he’ll feel incredibly sorry for your loss… but it’ll ultimately be overpowered by his love for you when you move. That same love will be what has you spending an eternity in his world.

[kiyo-cant-write]

hey! sorry if i'm bothering, but can I request Silver and a Cinderella-inspired Yuu? I just think it would be really cute and I couldn't get the thought out of my head at all! thanks in advance and have a good day!

silver w/ cinderella!reader ✧･ﾟ

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This is a cute idea!! I loved Disney's Cinderella as a kid (all three movies). I had an idea for this and I went with it, please let me know if I should make a secondary part to this or if you'd like another aspect of a "Cinderella" Yuu to be explored.

Because of a lack of preference expressed, the reader is gender-neutral in this post (my default mode of writing). I'm getting better at checking, though. Don't want another accidentally making a male Yuu they/them again (sobs).

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Summary: Silver meets someone from Royal Sword Academy at a joint school event that ultimately becomes a friend... or something more? Either way, Sebek won't shut up about it. (Silver with a Cinderella-inspired reader).

TW/CW: This is continued here.

Notes: pre to in a relationship, the reader is NOT Ramshackle Prefect/Yuu, they/them pronouns for the reader

Guest Stars: Sebek Zigvolt

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✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ:

Silver

Silver has no specific opinions when he first meets [Name]. His judgments are regarding threats to Malleus, not personal thoughts.

Over time, he begins to notice that [Name] is a nice person.

Not only that, but they are more genuine than the average NRC student. It's almost a bit uncanny in the beginning.

Silver does not approach [Name] first and will need to be pursued by them or (essentially) have a meet-cute with them.

Provided one of those things happens, Silver does not mind being the friend of this nice and soft-tempered person.

They do not seem to be a threat to Malleus, so he trusts them.

Silver admires [Name]'s ability in the kitchen and with housework as both tasks were struggles for Lilia when Silver was a child.

He may ask to help you in the kitchen to learn more about food.

His taste buds are a bit damaged from Lilia's cooking.

Despite this, he is eager to learn and make better food for his dorm and family alike. He will praise his teacher as well.

Silver is a bit dense when it comes to his own emotions.

Between falling asleep at bad times and lacking emotional experiences that would make him understand "romantic" endeavors, Silver only looks the part of a fairy tale prince.

He is more likely to enter a comfortable dynamic with his potential love interest than profess his undying love for them suddenly.

A confession from Silver comes after a long period of friendship followed by a longer period of ???-ship in which everyone thinks the two are dating except for them.

Silver later realizes that [Name]'s inner strength and gentle soul are what made him care for them as much as he does.

Looking down at the light-haired sophomore, [Name] wondered what he was dreaming about. How could someone fall asleep in this field when there was so much music from the joint-campus festival? It seemed a bit odd, even for a mage school. [Name] could only think of one student at RSA whose sleeping habits were even remotely similar.

"Pardon me... Are you okay?" they asked again, crouching down and leaning over to observe his expression.

He's really not waking up...

He was rather... princely. A beauty if there ever was one. Sleeping in this field with his hair gently tousled from however he'd ended up this way... His eyes were closed and his breathing slowed.

[Name] could think of a few classmates who might call him a prince.

As they watched him, debating on whether to call out to him again, they noticed the small bunch of animals that had appeared near the boy. There were two birds, a bluebird and a cardinal, as well as a small rabbit with white fur and red eyes.

How sweet...

What [Name] wasn't expecting was to lose their balance suddenly, falling without time to save anyone from the impact. It was in that instant that the boy woke up and swiftly, in one motion, pulled [Name] close to him to prevent them from crushing the animals that had been observing him.

However, that act of kindness left the two of them in a bit of a compromising position for two strangers to be in...

Footsteps were heard growing faster with every passing second.

[Name]'s face burned red at the closeness even if there was no lustful intentions behind the resulting position. It was for the animals, it wasn't toward them of all people! This boy didn't know them.

"SILVER!?? WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS!?" a voice asked quite loudly as he approached the two of them. "HOW DARE YOU, HUMAN!!!!"

Silver sighed.

He was human too. Wasn't he?

Truthfully, despite being raised by a fairy, Silver thought that Sebek needed to change his attitude even if just a tad. They did go to what amounted to a majority human school. Didn't they? It was inappropriate.

"Sebek, be quiet," Silver replied, hesitating to move lest he make the situation even more compromising, "Are you alright?"

The second part of his statement was toward the fallen [Name]. They blinked a few times before nodding, trying to get to their feet without injuring themself or "Silver" (as they had learned from the louder boy, "Sebek"). They did not succeed.

Where do you put your hands in this situation? They didn't want to make it worse. Lost in the moment, they could only nod to Silver.

This is definitely something to add to my journal...

"I'm fine, thank you for protecting the animals," [Name] told Silver.

A serious expression graced Silver's face.

"I wouldn't want them to get hurt, they're innocent."

This was Silver's personal sentiment as a knight and as the little boy who played in the woods for many formative years of his life.

"SILVER. DETACH YOURSELF FROM THAT HUMAN AT ONCE."

Sebek was... persistent.

Yes... Let's go with that word rather than the couple of insults that buzzed around Silver's mind at that moment. Sebek should, in an ideal world, know better than to be rude to a stranger, a guest at their school no less.

"Right," Silver replied, standing instantly before helping [Name] to their feet before stepping away from them.

It all happened so quickly that [Name] wasn't sure how he'd done it.

"I apologize for that," Silver told them, looking just a tad sheepish, "It was not behavior befitting a knight to my Master. I hope you will forgive me."

[Name] was at a loss for words once more. Master? Knight?

"It's okay," they assured, unsure what else to say.

But, really, it was fine. No harm done. If it was for the animals then it was well worth it. Silver hadn't had any perverse thoughts by it. It was a little awkward but all's well that ends well. That was their thought.

Silver nodded for the second or perhaps the third time in the interaction as he gave Sebek a look (this made Sebek's harsh anti-human glare lessen ever-so-slightly).

"Once again, I apologize to you..." Silver trailed off, "Ah, I don't believe I've even introduced..."

In the two seconds Silver paused, Sebek cut him off.

"This is Silver and I am Sebek Zigvolt. Guards to Malleus-sama, we are here to ensure his safety," Sebek explained as if reciting something that had been taught to him from a young age.

"That we are," Silver agreed, "And you are..?"

"[Full Name]," [Name] answered, "A pleasure to meet you."

"Of course," Silver spoke, shooting a look at Sebek who was still glaring daggers at [Name] from earlier, "We have to leave now, but maybe we'll cross paths again."

A smile graced [Name]'s lips as they nodded.

What an interesting pair.

Unknown to [Name], Silver would think back on their encounter that night. Perhaps that was a first for him. It would be something for his father to tease him about for the rest of eternity, he supposed.

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Imagine the rest yourself~

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✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ: ✧･ﾟ:

Thank you for reading! Likes and reblogs are appreciated! Do NOT repost my writing/headcanons as your own >:c Check the top of my blog for the inbox status and read the rules before requesting. This is not a twst-only blog! ^^

[shall-we-die]

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{Exposed}

How much of their heart do they bare to their darling? || How vulnerable are they when it comes to their darling?

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↬[Fandom]•⊰ {Moriarty the Patriot}࿐

↬[Warnings]•⊰ {Yandere behaviors}࿐

☰[Main list]•⊰ ────┈┈{0080}┈─╮

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╰┈➤Likes/Reblogs are appreciated࿐

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↬|Albert|

Honestly, all his heart. Albert trusts and adores his S/O so much that he isn't even afraid to cry in front of them. He is *very* vulnerable with his S/O and is always seeking their comfort and reassurance. He might not outright say it, but he *needs* his S/O in order to function. As someone who is so used to having to hide his true emotions, Albert is so incredibly thankful to have a S/O that he actually trusts with his heart. He would genuinely be lost without their presence. As if they were a light in the storm of his life. He really does try not to overstep any boundaries, but the need to be close to them at all times is too much for him. He'll cling onto their arm, wanting to show the world that they belong to him and he'll do anything for them.

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↬|William|

William... would bare most of his heart to his s/o. He would be completely vulnerable and open to them, trusting them with everything. He would share his innermost secrets and feelings with them, even things he doesn't show anyone else. He would be very protective and possessive of them and would do anything to keep them safe and happy, even if it means putting himself in danger. you think it's sweet, right? But let me tell you everything will change when you want to leave him.

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↬|Louis|

His s/o is the person he is the most vulnerable around, he bares his whole heart and soul around them. They are the only person he can’t hide anything from, his s/o knows him just as well as himself. He’d trust them with his life and even his own heart, not holding anything back. He makes sure to keep his guard up and his emotions in check around everyone else, even his own family. But around his s/o, he’d be a complete mess of feelings with no control.

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↬|Sebastain|

Sebastian has a lot of walls guarding his heart, not trusting anyone. He's a very guarded person due to past experiences of being betrayed, and therefore, he never likes to get too close with people. This changes when his s/o comes into the picture, as they're the only person he would ever want and trust to see every part of him. He's extremely vulnerable when it comes to his S/O; he's vulnerable to their words, their opinions, their emotions, their needs. Any pain or discomfort they experience will also make him worry. Sebastian is highly overprotective of his S/O, not allowing anyone to get physically or emotionally close to them. As a result, he's always very possessive in terms of having their complete attention and care, wanting them all for himself and no one else. He becomes very intense and obsessed with the notion of owning and having total control over them, going far as to use violence to keep them as his, and his alone. Overall, he's highly aggressive and extremely unhinged when it comes to his intense love for his S/O.

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↬|Sherlock|

To start with, Sherlock is a very closed-off person when it comes to emotions. He can appear indifferent or uninterested to most, putting on his usual poker face or sarcastic tone. However, when it comes to his s/o, he is quite different. He would be quite vulnerable when it comes to his s/o. He would only let down his walls and allow himself to be genuine around them. His usual teasing demeanor would soften, and he would show a more sensitive, caring side. Sherlock would likely open up to them about his deeper thoughts and feelings, sharing things he wouldn't reveal to anyone else. Sherlock would become extremely attached and possessive of his s/o. He would constantly want to be around them and would get very jealous when they even so much as look at someone else. He would want them all to himself, and become very protective, almost like a guard dog, ready to snap at anyone who comes too close. He would constantly monitor his s/o's whereabouts and activities.

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↬|John|

If that's the case, John is very devoted to his partner, but he may struggle with opening up about his emotions. John is a reserved and practical man, and sometimes he has a difficult time expressing his feelings and emotions, and he may struggle with vulnerability at times, even with his significant other. It takes him a while to fully open up and let someone in his heart, and even then, he may have a tendency to keep some of his thoughts and feelings private.

||[🄴xposed]||

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     ⇆ㅤㅤ◁🄳ㅤㅤ❚❚ㅤㅤ🄵▷ㅤㅤ↻

[literatureloverx]

D A Z A I O S A M U

Dazai analysis [x relationship with his potential darling]

BSD Dazai x ideal type fem!reader

Disclaimer: MDNI, depression, melancholy, suggestive in general.

It would be better if you read THIS first.

I wanted to write NSFW head canons but guess who is in a soft mood? I’m going to write that in the near future. I promise. 🩵

No matter how much Dazai plays the role of “the player” and tries to distance himself from any deep connections to avoid being hurt, it doesn’t change the fact that he is a deeply wounded child.

He wears a mask of indifference and charm, yet behind that façade lies a heart ravaged by loss and abandonment.

“…anything I never want to lose is always lost. This is how it’s always been for me. Everything worth wanting is lost the moment I obtain it. And nothing I pursue is worth the cost of prolonging this life. The suffering.”

He feels that everything worth wanting disappears the moment he obtains it.

He didn’t feel anything until he learned to love, and only then did he truly understand the depth of his pain after losing the person he cherished the most—the one who, despite his brokenness, refused to abandon him.

The only person who ever loved him unconditionally; Odasaku.

His emotional state mirrors the chaos in his life: chaotic, uncertain, and perpetually in search of something he can never quite grasp.

In my opinion, his sexual behavior reflects his internal struggles—soulless, empty, and loveless.

It is desperate and fleeting, yet he remains too far removed from his true self to trust anyone with the full extent of his desperation.

The women he meets become mere distractions, tools to temporarily fill the void in his heart.

He yearns for connection and someone to understand his pain, hoping to be saved from his own darkness.

Dazai is secretly a romantic at heart, despite his flings and possible one-night stands that never satisfy his deeper longing.

These encounters leave him feeling more empty than fulfilled.

He has left “so many women crying,” as Chuuya puts it, because they cannot fill the void he carries within; they cannot bring him the solace he craves.

What Dazai truly needs in a partner is someone who can fill that void—not with superficial affection but with unconditional love and understanding.

If he had met his darling during his Port Mafia era, their story would be profoundly different, prompting a deeper exploration of that specific timeframe later.

Unlike Fyodor, who embodies an “all or nothing” mentality, Dazai strives to connect and to find something that might lift the weight from his heart.

Like Fyodor, he would either be entirely devoted to his darling or remain uncommitted altogether.

He would struggle with trust, finding it difficult to let anyone in and to believe in the possibility of lasting love.

Dazai would instinctively pull the “you can fix me” card at the beginning of the relationship, testing his darling’s resolve and kindness.

He would charm his darling with his wit and playful banter, but beneath that playful exterior lies a fear of vulnerability.

Dazai craves authenticity, a genuine connection that transcends the physical. In the presence of his darling, he would grapple with the realization that she sees the parts of him he hides from the world.

His darling’s unwavering support and compassion might frighten him, but she would also inspire a flicker of hope—a chance to feel, to love and be loved without fear.

As their relationship unfolds, Dazai would begin to experience moments of unexpected vulnerability, caught off guard by how easily his darling sees through his carefully crafted walls.

He would share fragments of his past—stories of loss, betrayal, and the darkness that lingers in his heart—creating a bridge between their souls and drawing them closer.

Dazai would wrestle with self-sabotage, often retreating into his old habits and pushing his partner away in an attempt to protect both of them. (My poor baby, I want to hug him.)

He would fear that his darling might wake up one day and realise that she deserves better than him, wrestling with his own insecurities.

As time passes, Dazai would begin to understand that love is not a weakness but a strength.

His darling would teach him that it’s okay to lean on someone, to share the burden of his past.

With every shared moment, he would learn to let go of the fear that had held him captive for so long.

Just when he begins to believe in the possibility of a brighter future, a haunting shadow from his past would emerge, threatening to shatter the fragile bond they’ve built. (I’m making some drama out of this)

A former associate from the Port Mafia might reappear, a reminder of the life Dazai had tried to escape, forcing him to confront his own demons. (I’m delusional but imagine this)

He would realise that he needs to take action and commit to the relationship, showing that he chooses his partner and their love.

Through it all, Dazai would discover that love is not just about finding someone to save him but about allowing himself to be vulnerable and to love in return.

He would learn that while the shadows of his past may never fully disappear, they no longer have to control him.

His partner would be his light, illuminating the path toward healing.

[sgiandubh]

In Jake Norton's words...

Among domestic clearer political skies (yes, thank God, it's improving greatly!), it is with much interest that I read Jake Norton's first blog entry about the Everest trek with S and team. You can find it here: https://jakenorton.com/reflections-on-hunku/

Here are the excerpts I found most telling, but I do encourage you to read it all. It is genuine, it is honest and it is real. This guy does not need to sugarcoat anything, indeed - not that mountaineers were this particular type, either.

'An adventurous soul with a heart of gold', who 'rose to it all, never flustered or bothered, always interested and engaged and inquisitive.' Remember (ROFLMAO), this is not Tash, the Twitter Sparkle Lounge madame, speaking from her fangirling mirador at a random OL con. This is what a man with a 30 years experience of high-altitude trekking has to say about his unlikely, but enthusiastic travel companion. And to make the unintended (but honest) Slap-an-Idiot operation even more resounding, he then proceeds to explain why this is not even remotely an indulgent judgement of the character. He could not be clearer about it:

'And, to be honest, my little coffeeshop meeting was both to suss out his interest and let him meet me (and judge me) in person, but also, more importantly, to feel him out. Guiding for me is not simply an economic thing, transactional, but about time and people and experience. I’ve done too many “off-the-shelf” trips in the past to have zero tolerance for sharing the mountains with people whose goals and values are misaligned with mine. It took but minutes with Sam to know our worlds, while vastly different, were built upon similar ideas and ideals and approaches.'

He guided S the only possible way one must travel through Asia: with an open mind and an even more open heart. They deliberately ran away from five-stars accommodation (this blogger always combines the humble and the glam, with a noted preference for the genuine 'humble') and graciously responded to the local people's enthusiasm - something that will always be the most beautiful surprise to any traveler who successfully unlearned how to behave like a tourist:

'Unfortunately for Sam, I don’t really believe in the sugar-coated version of Nepal; fancy hotels and windowed views of life are little more than television with smell. I want people to see the real Nepal, wander the back streets, immerse in the smoky incense of dawn on cobbled streets, bells chiming and dogs barking, ambling through the visceral reality that is Pashupatinath, taking in the respite of Bodhanath, embracing the comforting chaos of alleys and backways of Lalitpur.'

Reading this made me both feel nostalgic and itchy. For even if you might find me enjoying high tea, in the Bangkok Mandarin Oriental's Author Lounge, my heart will always, always fondly remember the magical nights in a humble Hmong thatched hut at Ban Somsavath, somewhere midway from Vientiane to Luang Prabang. But that is personal and I wouldn't dare mix it up with someone else's experience, so I won't insist. What I can tell you, though, is that I absolutely believe S is honest when he says he will be back: for it is not the traveler that chooses Asia - it is Asia that carefully, deliberately chooses the traveler.

These sounds are mine. They will always resound loudly in my soul, for too many reasons to list here in tearing haste. Why did I add them, though? Because once your plane crosses the Everest, the magic begins in earnest:

[multidimensionalguidance]

Love Reading: Pick-A-Card

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Think of your current romantic life, be it a specific person or in general if you are single. Then, intuitively choose from left to right the picture that calls you the most.

I'll be sharing below your current love situation, information about your future spouse, and details of the relationship as well!

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Testimonials

Tips

Picture 1

General: six of pentacles, five of swords, judgment

Currently, you're realizing key aspects behind the importance of reciprocity, balance, and a healthy approach to conflict within relationships. It might be that in the past you were dealing with individuals who were generous from a financial perspective, but that had hidden intentions behind their action or heavy control issues. You might have been taken advantage of your generosity in some way. Genuine kindness comes from a place of enjoying the act of giving service/help to others, but we end up self sabotaging by creating false expectations or idealizing someone. Due to this occurring, your love life is currently undergoing a complete renewal, transformation, and process of "depuration" so to speak. You're reaching a milestone of lessons that hadn't been integrated properly until now and finally closing chapters on behaviors that you will no longer tolerate from others or even yourself. Stay open to being generous with your time and affection if you want to meet someone new, so long they do check all the right boxes, of course. Avoid trying to win at all cost or being argumentative, and put a pause on being overly critical of every little thing you don't like right off the bat.

Future Spouse: knight of swords, nine of swords, the lovers

Your fs definitely has air signs (Gemini, Libra, Aquarius) in their astrology chart, specially Gemini. They are direct, assertive, talkative, quick witted, brave, and sometimes impatient or impulsive. Someone who embodies a "hero" or soldier sort of energy. Definitely not scared of taking risks or going head to head with someone who's crossing a line. They might be someone who struggles with anxiety, negative thoughts, insomnia, or simply gets carried away easily by mental stress. Can they handle it well to the point of it not being too noticeable? absolutely, but when they are alone all it slips out like a storm. There's a good possibility that a lot of these feelings come from uncertainty in relationships or previous wounds. They are a romantic at heart and probably yearn for a relationship that feels pure and filled with good intentions. If you want a soul mate connection, then guess what? that's exactly what they want as well. They are also the type to LOVE celebrations of all kind and will show you how to have a good time. Socializing and enjoying environments that foster gatherings to have fun or share happiness will be very important to them. Overall, they are someone who truly wants to develop a partnership with the perfect amount of romance, desire, and sexual connection.

Relationship with Future Spouse: comfort, strength, creativity

You will both learn and experience situations of having more comforts, self care, and nourishment into your life. Both will indulge and enjoy relaxing at home, having a nice meal, wearing a face mask, and watching silly fun movie/shows. There will also be a need for cultivating resilience over any obstacles that might appear within the relationship. You will both become very mentally and emotionally strong together. You become a joint pillar that will create the foundation of a long lasting union. Is that all? Nope. You will both also engage in many creative pursuits and acts as well. Overall, there's a lot of beautiful experiences that will show you both how it feels to be properly supported, nurtured, and cared for in a relationship.

Picture 2

General: eight of swords rx, the star, the lovers

Anxiety, fear, and a bit of insecurity might have been moving in the background and inviting instability or misconceptions in the romantic department lately. This could be from whoever you're thinking, dealing with, or even from you. A lot is coming to light and you're being guided to hold your horses before setting anything in stone because you might not have all the cards at hand. You or someone else might be self sabotaging by ignoring their intuition. Now, there's a bright burning light of hope literally around the corner, so stop stressing, pleease. Even if things might have felt cloudy or foggy for a while, you're finally escaping and finding release from it. Whatever were the shackles that had you feeling trapped and with a lot of mental anguish are dissipating. You are ready to let go of any baggage from previous relationships, and choosing to have a more positive and hopeful outlook with a clear consciousness. There will be healing and progress coming your way, along with the possibility of rekindling a relationship that felt completely lost. There's a partnership showing up as a soulmate or ideal connection, and it's coming towards you after the shackles of what no longer serves you are left behind for good. There will be plenty of romance and attraction coming your way, so be ready for it. This is truly something you've been patiently waiting for. It required you putting efforts, and it’s already flourishing into your desired results and rewards.

Future Spouse: five of swords, five of pentacles, six of swords

This feels strongly like someone you already know or have some story with, yeah I know, that's not always what we want to read but I'm being dutifully honest. This person feels defeated, practically throwing a white flag at this moment. Although there's an underlaying energy of conflict, stress, and desire to fight back, the feeling of being left out in the cold and being broken up or separated is doing a number within them. They want to heal, change, and overcome the situation to move towards a better space. In a negative aspect, they are prone of running away sometimes when things get overwhelming, meaning being avoidant. If this is not someone from the past at all, then you'll meet them after they' are in the process or transition of moving away (alike you) from a conflictive and difficult situation in love. They might appear tense or have a cold aura, as if they are ready to fight opposition at all times. An all or nothing mentality that could lead them into unnecessary conflict if left unchecked. They understand what it requires to have the strength to fight and survive situations of struggle, rejection, feeling left out, or being financially ruined. They are resilient and know when to move forward to find peace and calmer waters. In either cases, if its a past spark or new flame, this person is probably coming from a different country or will have to do a journey/travel overseas to meet with you.

Relationship with Future Spouse: surrender, cleanse, magic

You will both learn and witness situation that will teach you to let go and stop forcing things to go in a certain way. This is of course an uncomfortable process, it hurts the ego, but ultimately leads us to feeling free from restraints. There will also be a lot of cleansing your energy and life that will occur when together, almost as if it was a necessary ritual to maintain balance. You will both feel that magical spark, and notice how easy things manifest next to each other. It's a very spiritual bond that connects the both of you, and there's an awareness of needing occult knowledge in order to elevate the relationship.

Picture 3

General: ten of wands, seven of cups, knight of cups

There seems to be a feeling of being restricted or hopeless about your love life at the moment or not that long ago. You have carried a heavy weight from dating or damaging relationships of the past. The types that initially felt too good to be true, and then made you realize with time that they were indeed too good to be true, somewhat illusory. Perhaps you've been busy with other aspects of your life, so romance wasn't on the top of your priorities, but not an aspect that was much better in comparison. Either way, major endings and closures are coming your way. There will be plenty of options within your selection and this might lead you to feeling unsure of which one is truly the best. You're being advised to meditate, trust your intuition, and not allow wishful thinking to cloud your judgement. They are likely to act as prince charming's, so be mindful of not being swept only by attraction and becoming blinded of their intentions. Either way, you will be feeling a strong soulmate energy, and this has a high likelihood of bringing a lot of emotional fulfillment. You will make the right choice no matter what happens, so just enjoy the ride.

Future Spouse: ace of pentacles, the fool, seven of pentacles

There's a fire sign energy surrounding this individual (Aries, Leo, Sagittarius) with a mix of earth (Taurus, Virgo, Capricorn) placements. They are grounded, practical, and someone who manifests material abundance rather easily. Most definitely good at handling money and very career oriented. This feels like a new person who embodies a free spirited, open minded, curious, and positive energy. They will have a certain youthful spark in their eyes regardless of age. Now, despite the care free energy they can be calm and composed when needed. Your spouse will be patient with you and successful overall. They will work frequently and take risks occasionally when it comes to investments or projects. The type of person to put the effort, take their time, and casually reap their hard work. They also have an undeniable attractiveness, are charismatic, and often find themselves in the need of making important choices from the heart.

Relationship with Future Spouse: love, ideation, anxiety

You will both enjoy plenty of love and heartfelt moments within this connection so abundantly that you will feel keen to sharing it with others (family, friends, etc). There will also be plenty ideas and new projects that you will both create together, including creative endeavors. On the contrast of all of this, there will also be moments of anxiousness or being worried about how things will develop together. It might be that you both are keen to writing a script on how you'd like things to go and then feel overwhelmed when things don't go that exact way. Together you'll learn how to overcome these feelings and focus on the present instead.

[museofzia]

♱ i have the same s/o in every desired reality.

here's my experience and reasoning.

this post is also an excuse to

talk too much about my bf.

my significant other is Bill Kaulitz of Tokio Hotel. (2007 era primarily.) This is the era where he's 17-18 years old, and if you even dare to bring up how much of a disappointment he is in present day i MIGHT choke you out ;)

i scripted him into one of my first desired realities, my Tokio Hotel desired reality. I never really saw any purpose in a significant other, but I wanted to "fit in" with other people. it was a standard "this is my first dr i need it to be perfect" moment for me. however, i didn't really connect with him fully until the final moments before shifting for the first time.

when i first shifted, the first thing i saw was a text from him that he sent at 3:00AM (I was in Korea, he was in Germany.) and i remember exactly what it said.

"You're probably asleep right now, but I was out late. You're coming soon. I love you and miss you! See you soon :-)"

I think that was the moment where i began to fully digest that I'm there because I felt my heart jump and genuinely realized that this is a man that i'm dating. a man. that im dating. the random celebrity id keep looking at on my phone just sent me a text telling me that he loves me. and that was the best welcome to this "new" environment.

🀥 how we click

i'm a 5'11 Korean woman who wears pink and spends 3 hours on her makeup. Bill is a 6'4 German man who wears band t-shirts and blasts Green Day in his barely-working headphones.

why do i like him?

at first, i really liked him for hours appearance. i was interested in his style-- it was neat, which is why i was a bit drawn to him. however, seeing more media of him made me appreciate his authentic and bubbly personality. once i shifted, i really liked just how appreciative he was to his loved ones, while he also found the good in things even in the worst possible moments. Bill didn't have the easiest childhood. the appreciation and genuine love he radiates whenever he's with people who make him feel comfortable feels priceless to me. he knows he's not liked by everyone, but he finds reasons to like everyone. he smiles a lot, he's affectionate, and he's authentic to himself. he values connection, and it's really helpful. he's communicative. i never feel nervous to tell him whenever i feel upset or conflicted. he always helps me with those decisions. it's never felt like a chore or a difficulty to be around him. it felt more like basic routine, it even feels out of place to not be with him sometimes. i connect with people well, but i can never read someone's mind. however with bill, we know exactly what to say to eachother and when. it makes things so easy, knowing someone so well is so reassuring. i feel like there's no one else id rather be vulnerable with. in arguments he focuses more on ending the conflict rather than winning it. he's so expressive with his emotions that conflicts are almost always avoidable. he's not a pushover but he's not too insistent. he's ambitious but not annoying with it. maybe he's not everyone's cup of tea, but i can name so many things i love about myself that he taught me to love. he's the one who taught me im worth loving, and he showed me what loving should look like. i've never even been genuinely romantically attracted to anyone since. who needs to find love when i have love sitting right next to me?

i suppose what i'm trying to say is, i just feel like there isn't even a title for the fondness i have for him. so many people have told me that we somehow find each other in every reality, and it's true. even in desired realities where i don't script an s/o, or i don't script he likes me, we somehow always connect romantically. something just clicks and it makes me feel like a piece of my soul is back with me again. no desired reality is fully desired or real to me if i don't have that kind of company there for me. with one look, i can feel so much of my emotion settling down and finding its most comfortable state. he's not even my comfort person. he's the person that i can just think of in order to calm myself down. knowing that i've been blessed with that kind of company in ANY possible reality makes me happier than anyone can imagine. my connection with Bill goes beyond any kind of romance.

I don't engage with terms like "situationships" or anything of the sort. i've been shown what genuine love and communication looks like. if i ever feel unsure or panicked in a relationship, i know it's not the place i want to be. Bill didn't only raise my standards, but also changed my outlook on love entirely. i'm not saying ill never find love here, but I know what i want love to be like for me ever since i've been introduced to my own.

i think i found the person who helped me in endless ways.

anyways, thanks for listening :-)

love, zia.

[sharffffff]

Pangi felt silly. After all the effort they went to to get this cure, after many near-death - and in the case of Lukey, death - experiences with the wardens, after filling the catalyst with souls of more types of creatures than he even realized existed in this world, after actually trying some cure prototypes already with varying degrees of success - it was now, that they were one step away from the solution, he decided to get cold feet. Why now, if he was so ready to get cured just a couple of days ago, when Aimsey was throwing all these concoctions at him? They were as likely to work then - in his eyes, at least - as they are to work now, so why is he so scared of it? He could see the worried look in his friends’ eyes, he felt like he wanted to be cured, to be rid of this corruption, to get the memories from the book to feel like his own - so why couldn’t he? Why was he so afraid?

He knew why. He was afraid that regaining his memories, that becoming their Pangi - that it would mean the death of this Pangi. The death of himself. A person is the combination of their memories, and if he gets them back - would he even be himself? Would he even still exist? Or would it be another, different Pangi, the one that he was before all this - with him that he is now seizing to be? Or would it be someone else entirely? The combination of the two, one who has the memories of both but isn’t either? Pangi was scared to find out, and even as he heard the others call out to him, he kept spiraling down this pit of fear, unsure if this was actually how he wanted to proceed, his vision getting blurry, breath hastening, until-

Pangi’s vision cleared, focusing entirely on his hand - or rather, the fact that Lukey was holding it, trying to calm him down. This one gesture, this one show of affection almost made him break down on the spot, break the shell he had spent the past four years building - because on Lifesteal, showing emotional vulnerability is more dangerous than anything else, and getting killed is far less impactful than getting betrayed - and now, he almost lost it because of this… of this hamster? 

He knew the past him was close to him - he was told so, he has read so, but he didn’t know just what he could’ve ever seen in Lukey - but apparently it was something he saw again, even if he couldn’t pinpoint it exactly. He knew he shouldn’t let this continue, that he should jerk the hand away, that he should build up more and more walls to make sure he doesn’t seem vulnerable - but he didn’t. He let the hand stay, just looking at it for a second that felt like an eternity, before averting his gaze. He could almost hear Aimsey snicker behind him, and his tail curled a bit in slight embarrassment, but as much as he refused to believe it, this gesture… helped. He was no longer afraid, and it was so stupid that it worked. It shouldn’t have worked. Pangi hated it. 

“Hey, it’s going to be alright. Just one last step, and you will have the memories back, and you’ll be cured- if you still want it.” Pangi hated just how soft Lukey’s voice was, he hated that he was afraid, he hated that he wanted this cure - but bore the risk of losing himself if he were to take it. Everything about this felt wrong, and he didn’t know if it was the corruption within him speaking or if it was his genuine feelings - and he hated this fact, too. This would never have happened on Lifesteal, and it felt like almost being farmed for hearts by Zam was better than this. 

And it hurt. It hurt because of how much Lukey cared about him - but Pangi felt like he cared about the past him, the him that he once knew, not the him that was standing in front of him now. Would he care as much if he never knew a different Pangi, if this was the only version he ever saw? He hoped the answer would’ve been yes, but was scared of a possibility of it being no. He had the jealous urge to say no to the cure, but that didn’t make much sense - that Pangi was still him, and he was still that Pangi. He wanted the memories back, he wanted to be free from corruption - even if it felt wrong to say, even if his entire being craved to run away from the cure, he knew it wasn’t him thinking that. And it felt weird, not being in control of some of his own thoughts.

“Y-yeah, I still want this, I still want the cure. You died for it! It would be weird to back down now, and- and I want those memories to feel like my own. Let’s just- Let’s just get it done with quick, before my mind is changed for me.”

The quick glances Aimsey and Lukey shared was enough evidence for Pangi that they understood what he meant, understood that the corruption was fighting to stay while he wanted it gone. And so they went to work, Pangi feeling a slight disappointment as Lukey let go of his hand, but quickly chasing it away as something to dwell on later, not now. Not like he had that much time to dwell on it now - the cure prototype, hopefully the last one, was done, held in Aimsey’s hand - hurting them, but it wasn’t like they cared - they were beaming with hope and happiness, ready to have their friend back - and as much as Pangi wanted to be upset over it, he wanted to be back too, he wanted to be himself, to have his memories, to know everything that happened to him without having to rely on a stupid book - and it’s not like he would be gone because of this. It would still be him, just… more. 

As Pangi turned around so the vial wouldn’t be dodged, he felt it hit him, shaking him to his entire core. It worked, he knew it worked, as the corruption was fighting against his body to try and stay, to try and persist. But he also knew something else, something he suspected, something that was oh so ironic now considering how much he feared it just seconds ago. And as he was bent in half from the pain piercing his body as the last sentient presence of corruption withered away, leaving only the broken shell behind, devoid of color and life, he couldn’t help but let out a bitter laugh, startling Aimsey and Lukey who were here, trying to help him. 

“It worked, it sure worked,” he snarled through the pain that soon gave way to numbness. “But I don’t think that cure was the last step to getting cured.” A weak smile appeared on his face as he straightened up, knowing what had to be done next. This body couldn’t persist, it was barely even a body anymore - and to be cured, to have an ability to live, he had to die first. He needed a new body, and there was only one way to get it. 

“What? What is the last step, then? How- how can we help you?” Lukey’s voice was still as soft even as he was panicking, trying to figure out a way to keep Pangi alive, seeing just how much this cure was hurting him. Aimsey, however… Aimsey’s eye met Pangi’s, and they gave him a slight nod of understanding. 

“Oh, Pangi… Are you sure we have to do it?”

Pangi was sure. He was already putting all his stuff away in the chest, carefully taking off armor and numerous belts full of potions, as well as all the other mess scattered around his inventory, while Lukey was still throwing confused glances between Aimsey and Pangi - he understood what was happening, but refused to acknowledge it. He wanted to save Pangi, and him having to die to be saved… it just felt counter-productive.

“Do what?! What do you guys know that I don’t?! Pangi- Pangi doesn’t have to die, we can find a different way to save him, we-”

“Lukey, this body is gone anyway. The cure can’t magically return that has been destroyed… It has to happen. So…” Pangi turned back to the chest for a second, before taking out a crossbow and a stack of arrows - the same crossbow that once took Lukey’s life, now given to him to take Pangi’s. “Would you like to get your payback? I’d rather it be you than going to the fishtank to drown or dying to a zombie, hah!” 

The look of distress on Lukey’s face deepened, and as he took the crossbow in his hands what felt like unwillingly, he couldn’t help but notice just how much they trembled. “I- You know I never took a life before, I- Do we have to do this? Is there no other way? Can’t we find a way to save you- Can’t we do anything?”

“You’ve already done everything you had to do. Now it’s my turn to do something, and that part is very easy - I just have to die.” Pangi smiled again, putting his hands on top of Lukey’s hands, helping him aim the crossbow straight at his heart. “Just one arrow, it should be enough. I know you can do it, so please - just pull the trigger. Allow me to come back.”

Lukey’s hands still trembled, kept steady only by Pangi’s, but he nodded - he understood it had to be done, even if he hated the fact that he couldn’t save him. No matter how much Pangi would tell him that he did, the loss of even one life was too much. But- It had to be done. He closed his eyes and pulled the trigger - crossbow being so close to Pangi’s body that he could feel the arrow going through, and then another, and another. Pangi was wrong, it took far more than one to kill him, but his hands remained on top of Lukey’s until it was done, and he didn’t even flinch as the barrage of arrows did their thing, only letting go once the last breath escaped his body - before crumbling to dust in Lukey’s hands. And only once he was gone Lukey allowed himself to break down, Aimsey there to comfort him, despite needing comfort themself.

***

When Pangi woke up, he wasn’t back at his spawn point in the lab - but he wasn’t expecting to be there. He half expected to woke up here, in the Null, before the life left his body - after all, he heard that many have found themselves here after a reset, and even if this death wasn’t a reset… it might as well have been. He wouldn’t be able to answer the question of “which” Pangi he was - he had memories of both, he was both, and neither of them were not him at the end of the day - just the one that he was for the past few weeks didn’t have the full picture. Can he really be the old Pangi if he has lived through experiences that the old one hasn’t? If he was a philosopher, he’d try to answer these questions, but thankfully it was easier to just ignore them. And the familiar sound would distract him from those thoughts anyway.

“Hey, Newt… Sorry I didn’t hold onto myself for him for longer. I tried, I really did, but it spreads faster than you think. Maybe if I held on for longer, he wouldn’t have lost that life in the ancient city… Or maybe he would. Won’t stop me from blaming myself.”

The hooded figure took a step - if these slight teleportations that Keepers did could be called steps - closer to Pangi, as if to look in his eyes, but stopped and turned around. 

“You promised him you would protect him… you wouldn’t let him die again… And yet you did.” Newt’s words hurt, but Pangi knew he was right. He broke the promise he made to Lukey - even if he didn’t remember that promise at the time, he still broke it. But before Pangi could even reply, Newt’s words pierced his mind again. “I won’t blame you for that… He was reckless, you almost died too… But at least you got the cure, that’s what matters. Take care of him…” 

Newt moved again, just a couple of meters further, and Pangi moved closer and nodded. “I will. I’ll try to, anyway. Oh, shit! Could you send me back? I just- I just realized just how bad that must have looked in chat, if there’s a whole army on the search to kill him for killing me now, I really need to return before-”

Pangi didn’t even manage to finish the sentence before waking up in the bed he set in the lab right before dying, right next to Aimsey and Lukey, who seemed startled by his sudden appearance minutes after he was supposed to be there. But before he could explain anything, he noticed something clutched in his hand - a piece of amethyst, the same lucky charm he once unwittingly threw away, and a piece of paper. “You lost it once, don’t lose it again.”

And then he was swept away in a hug, free of corruption, free of the nagging desire to spread it, free of the memory loss - and free to cry as he is embraced by the two people closest to him, the two people happy to see that their efforts were not for nothing. Free to finally let himself cry.

[eowynstwin]

I know a good majority of c.ai users (who actually know how the platform generates its content) genuinely do not give a shit, but in the spirit of assuming the best of people—

If you have a favorite writer, and you also use c.ai, please consider how it might make that writer feel to find out that the hard work they put into making something for your enjoyment ultimately has no value to you. That hours spent coming up with interesting narratives and prose specifically to entertain you just flat out does not matter to you.

Like, I know it seems like writing is an easy thing to get into, but think about a book you really liked, that you thought was really really good, vs a book you absolutely hated because it was horrible. Or a show. Or a video game. Any piece of art you’ve engaged with. The differential between those two pieces is a function of labor, not inherent skill. Time and effort and study goes into making any competent creative work.

Writers put forth that effort because the reward is getting to watch an audience enjoy it. It really is a pleasure to be able to see someone appreciate our work, because then we get to experience our own work all over again, in a new way, from a different angle. I don’t know if readers (or consumers of any creative media) understand that—we only get to write something once, but through you, we get to enjoy it a whole lot longer than the hours we spent writing it.

It’s personally validating. You may not think it should be—you may think writers should just write for the sake of it—but that’s just not how it works, and never has been. Making art has always been about that reciprocity. We make, you enjoy, we enjoy you enjoying what we made, and then we make more for you to enjoy. On and on. Symbiosis.

Which is why it is absolutely soul-sucking to reckon with the fact that there is now a machine that you’re using, essentially, to replace us. The effort we make to reach out to you is completely unimportant, because you don’t care about us, you care about what you get out of us. And what’s more, you settle for far worse quality, because you get it faster.

So our effort doesn’t matter, because you just don’t care. We present you a five course meal, and you’re still just as satisfied with slop. And while you may retort with some sort of claim that it means we shouldn’t try so hard to write well, we should just focus on getting shit out faster—we like this hard work. We enjoy it. We take pride in making something good.

You just don’t care about that. All you’re concerned with is your own insatiable appetite.

Like, a lot has been said about the ethics of AI, the environmental impact, and the labor impact, so I won’t reiterate it, but I just want you to think about this. It’s a real person making real effort that you’re turning your nose up at in favor of easy gratification.

[vacz]

Okay so- listen I have this crazy idea that is relative to The Hunter AU...

What if instead of Wirt... It's Greg?

OKAY SO, how does this happen?

It happens in chapter 8 "Babes in the woods". Instead of Greg taking Wirt's place, the beast (disguised as the queen of clouds) manages to propose to him the deal of being the lantern barned in a guarantee the beast would have both of the brothers in his hands So, Greg in his innocence accepted the deal, and since then Greg is the new woodsman

Greg as the woodsman takes his new duty very lightly, like an innocent game. He is like "well, this is my life now!" as a difference from Wirt, who accepts this life as a way of surrendering, Greg thinks this more like a phase and then Wirt will come back and they'll be together again

He is still waiting for Wirt to come back, Greg thinks this is temporary and soon Wirt will come out of the lantern. But for now he just does his voice as a favor, because Wirt can't speak anymore. Greg does this because he feels alone, and he is most of the time! But he genuinely believes that his brother is in there, and he can see him and hear him clearly...

How does Greg become the Hunter?

The beast turned him into a tiger, let me explain: The Beast tried to do the same experiment of "corrupting the spirit" but Greg is too goody shoes and small to cause real harm, so the Beast decides to take a more friendly take;

Since Greg was obsessed with magical tigers, the Beast pretended to make a spell for Greg to turn him into one, warning him that he should "attack" anyone who sees him. Greg will accept it, but now every time a person comes close to him he "transforms" into a wild evil tiger

Tho, Greg doesn't kill at all, he just bites, scares people and chases them until he loses them in his view. Basically, Tiger!Greg miss disguise people.

The thing is that there is one point the Beast decided to turn Greg into a tiger permanently, so now Greg is stuck into this new identity as Beast's crazy kitty, he just can't stop himself, not until he is back to normal! He is a really wild WILD tiger and he will attack every person he sees! Oh boy! This terrible curse of his! Greg has turned into the dark side forever!!!

What if they met each other?

Greg sees someone with really long and messy hair in the middle of the woods, he prepares himself to attack, and when he catches his legs... It's Wirt

They would be soooo HAPPY TO SEE EACH OTHER AGAIN AFTER SO LONG!!!!

So yeah, would they go back home? Yes, but I would like to explore how their dynamic would be

Wirt and Greg would talk a lot about how they were doing while they didn't see each other. Greg would be very reliable, while Wirt is still processing that his little brother is actually standing right there in front of him and he is actually hearing his real voice. They both keep the lanterns, because they still think they have each other souls on it, so they take care of their respective soul

I imagine that Wirt would want to share his rock facts with Greg, in hopes to hear one of his again, and also hear actual criticism from the only person he can genuinely trust

it's clear to see who's the crazier one.

Greg didn't keep the rock fact long time, because eventually the guilt would get him and made him broke in tears, so he just leave the rock, because not matter how much positivity he has, he knows they are not going home again

They are staying in the unknown because they have this morbid craving now and they won't let go of that, Greg likes scaring people and Wirt likes cutting them...

It's all game at start, they get around a person and play to get them. Wirt let's Greg have his fun, and when the fun is over, the real fun begans

Tho, Greg's brain doesn't process that his brother is actually killing them, and Wirt is very careful to make sure Greg doesn't see how he takes someone's life. They don't have a real purpose for this anymore, rather than accepting they both are twisted and being fine with that as long they have each other by their side

"I lost everything, but at least I have you, and that's all I need"

_______

So yeah, they are like "The Hunter and The Tiger" basically. It took me a while to figure it out how a Hunter Greg would work, and then I remember all the 'magic tiger' thing and made something about it. Sorry if this is kinda a mess, this wasn't to be very serious, this is just to explore a fun and silly idea

I hope you guys liked this silly idea of mine! This was supposed to be published yesterday but it took me more time than expected- anyways! Tell me what you think about it!

See ya!

[mangionebabymama]

A bit off topic but I wanted to say this: I find intelligence so sexy, Luigi is not only physically attractive but also he’s very intelligent and educated c: I just thought of this because last night I was speaking with one of my classmates and we talked about politics and he did not know the difference between left and right, we’re in our junior year in college jajaj I got an immediate ick

All of this. I'll admit—the first time I ever saw the two photos of him when it was announced that he was named as the suspect (the one of him hiking in Hawaii and he's ripped and then the photo of him in the suit), I thought he was quite nice-looking. I say this because I'm not someone who, when I see the opposite gender, immediately decides if I am attracted to them or not. It's not always the case, but he caught my eye.

But then once I started diving deeper into more about his digital footprint, including his Reddit posts and even some of his GoodReads reviews, and even some of the things that he retweeted about on his Twitter—I know at the end of the day, people may call me parasocial or just a simp but, when I say this, I genuinely mean that I would love to sit down and talk to him about life, like anything. About his major, why he went into comp sci, the struggles of being an honors student/good student and still struggling with maintaining grades and having identity crises, us growing up in the same metro area of DC and Maryland, travelling, the complexity of intelligence and all the different forms. For me, I admire his intelligence so much because he seems to be the type of person with whom you could really talk about anything and everything and have a substantial conversation; it appears that he knows how to engage in conservation with people and talk to not only talk, but to learn from another person, too. I may be just an old soul, as I've been told this all my life, but I feel that even being Gen Z, sometimes, I have a hard time relating and speaking with people around my age by having experiences and being "older" beyond my years. But knowing he's literally around my age (he's three years older) and constantly loves to learn more about new things and seems quite interested in a wide variety of things?????? I'm WHIPPED

But, bestie, I would be getting the super ick, too, my god

[clanwarrior-tumbly]

can you do mike schmidt x reader with abby trick-or-treating?

NOTE: This takes place after the movie

........

"Come on, slowpokes! Keep up!"

"Abby, don't go too far!"

"Relax, Mikey. She's just going two houses over. There's other kids already there. See?" You calmly pointed out the decorated home that Abby was rushing towards, disappearing into the crowd of kids who complimented her costume.

She was dressed as her "friend": a yellow version of Freddy Fazbear complete with a mask she painted, a yellow undershirt, and a black vest that was a tad bit too big for her.

Curiously enough, she removed one ear from the mask and covered one eye with black paint. But it didn't bother either of you too much, thinking she wanted to do something unique and creative with her costume.

Considering everything that happened at Freddy's Pizzeria, you were surprised that she wanted to dress up as one of the characters at all.

Yet neither you nor Mike recall ever seeing a "Golden Freddy". Not even backstage.

But you did, however, meet a golden Bonnie...and the person wearing his suit was none other than the bastard who murdered those poor children, including Garrett.

You just hoped their souls were finally at peace now, and that William rotted away in that suit, never to be found again. It was a rather fitting punishment--the perfect karma someone as sadistic as him.

Sometime later, you started dating Mike after you both officially quit that job, found something new to save his home from eviction, and helped him regain custody over his sister (Doug was more than eager to write you both off as her legal guardians).

He still had his nightmares, of course, that now involved visions of a decayed Springbonnie suit chasing him through that same forest. But you were always there to wake him up, cuddling together and helping him fall back to sleep without needing to down a bunch of pills.

He's genuinely been trying to depend on them less and less. Abby notices it, too, and has incorporated you in her drawings now, standing beside her happy-looking brother.

It's her own way of saying "thank you", and you accept it wholeheartedly.

When Halloween rolled around, you and Mike got too work decorating the house, surprising his sister after you picked her up from school. She did mention how he used to do the "bare minimum" before you came along.

And by that, she meant that Mike only ever put a jack o'lantern outside, a bowl filled with cheap candy, and a sign that said "take one".

Well this year...you made sure to buy better candy bars for the kids this year and add the finishing touches to the outside of the house. After that, you both took her trick-or-treating.

While she was occupied at the current house, you and Mike stood back to admire all the decorations and other costumes people were wearing.

"I honestly thought that whole near-death experience with the robots would've scarred her for life, but...she's been doing better." He remarked. "A lot better. It's like nothing ever happened."

"Well..she did help those kids find justice. They never knew their killer was standing right in front of them..they just needed that little push to finally recognize him."

"I'm surprised she hasn't told the whole story to her teacher yet."

"...because she knows we'd probably get some phone calls about that." You chuckled lightly, squeezing his hand.

Then you noticed Abby leaving the house, running down the steps and about to cross the street to reunite with you-

"Hey, hey, hey." Mike let you go to put both hands out, and she stopped in her tracks, mere inches from the road. "What did we talk about before we left the house, Abs?"

"...look both ways before I cross the street?"

"Exactly."

Huffing, she quickly glanced to her left and right, deeming it safe to cross. And only then did she resume her sprint, removing her mask once she was in front of you. "[Y/n], look at all these chocolate bars I got so far!"

You looked into the pillowcase, nodding in agreement. "Wow, you did get a lot! I sure can't wait to gobble them all up when we get home." A coy smirk appeared on your lips, watching her eyes widen in shock.

"Nooooooo, they're mine!" Protectively holding the sweets to her chest, she pouted and looked to Mike for help, yet he simply shrugged.

"I dunno, Abby.." It was hard for him to hide his own smile. "[Y/n] and I gotta make sure they're safe to eat, so we're gonna take one bite of every single bar-"

"Now that's just cruel!" She stomped her foot.

"We're only joking, sweetie." With a chuckle, you ruffled her hair, watching as she put her mask back on. "I think the next street over has a little haunted house maze. Do you wanna go check it out?"

She perked up and nodded in response, heading down the sidewalk with a spring in her step. You linked arms with Mike and followed her, looking around at the rest of the decorations.

But your eyes soon lingered on your boyfriend's soft brown ones, and he gazed back at you for a few moments. "What?"

"Nothing." You shook your head, smiling lightly. "I'm just...glad to be with you."

"So am I." He kissed you on the cheek. "Thank you, truly..Abby deserves a good Halloween."

"I think we all deserve a good one."

Unbeknownst to the three of you, there was a peculiar figure standing across the way. He was hanging out near the trees, almost perfectly blending in with the surrounding darkness so that nobody else could notice him:

A large mechanical bear with dirty yellow fur, one ear, and one glowing blue eye, smiling fondly at Abby and her costume.

It's good to see that she had not forgotten.

[shall-we-die]

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{Yearn}

What is one thing that they want but can't have?

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↬[Fandom]•⊰ {Bungo stray dogs}࿐

↬[Warnings]•⊰ {Angst}࿐

☰[Main list]•⊰ ────┈┈{0074}┈─╮

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╰┈➤Likes/Reblogs are appreciated࿐

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↬|Dazai|

Death?💀

Dazai craves true emotional intimacy. He wants a relationship with someone who understands the depths of his complex mind, knows all the dark details of his past, and accepts him completely for who he is. He yearns to fully open up, to let down his barriers and be vulnerable with someone, but deep down he fears that no one can truly understand him and accept him, and that he's destined to be alone forever. Despite his confident and carefree demeanor, Dazai is constantly plagued by the crushing weight of emotional isolation. He yearns for a deep, genuine connection with someone who can see past his facade and truly understand the scars on his soul. But his fear of vulnerability and the deep-seated belief that he doesn't deserve love hold him back from fully opening up to anyone. This constant internal battle between his longing for connection and his fear of being hurt leads to a sense of emotional torment, leaving Dazai feeling as though true intimacy is just out of his reach.

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↬|Atsushi|

One thing that Atsushi may want in a relationship but can’t have is unyielding trust without insecurity or questioning. Due to his past experiences and insecurities, Atsushi may find it difficult to fully trust and be vulnerable with his partner without doubting or questioning their intentions. He may struggle with fear and insecurities when it comes to commitment and may find it hard to fully open up and trust that he won’t be hurt or abandoned again.

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↬|Akutagawa|

To show his emotions or his soft side. He'd really like to tell them how much he cares about them, that he truly loves them and the need to hold them, to just be close to them and to be affectionate, it's what he desperately longs for. But since he has to maintain his image as the "Bloodhound" or the "Demon Prodigy" within the Port Mafia he can't, he can never show his vulnerability and soft side to anyone.

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↬|Chuuya|

Chuuya's biggest want in a relationship is stability, comfort, and being able to be himself fully He wants to let all his walls down and be vulnerable, he wants to be soft and gentle without having to worry about being judged for it, he wants be able to talk about his insecurities without bottling them all up inside, he wants to feel safe, and at home, with a person that makes him feel accepted as he is, and with a person that he can just... Relax with.

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↬|Tetchou|

Despite being good a fighting, Tetchou is actually a surprisingly clingy person. He’d constantly want his s/o to be near him and give him attention. It’d even go as far to when his s/o is talking to another person, he’d want to be included in the conversation, if only so he can hear his s/o talk. Unfortunately, he knows his s/o wouldn’t want that all the time so he doesn’t say anything about it.

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↬|Jouno|

One thing that Jouno desperately wants in his relationship with his s/o but can't have is trust and loyalty. Given his own trust issues and insecurities, he deeply wants his s/o to be loyal and trust him completely. He expects them to have eyes only for him, which is why he gets so possessive. He wants them to be completely and utterly faithful to him, but unfortunately, he struggles to trust them. He is constantly worried that they will leave him for someone else or betray him in some way.

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↬|Fyodor|

Long, healthy life with his s/o, but with his lifestyle, that's practically impossible (his life is full of killing, blood, terror and crimes) He wants the person he loves to love him wholeheartedly and want to spend all their time with him, but he's terrified that if the person he loves were to find out about his true sinful nature, they would leave him. He wants to be a perfect partner for the person he loves, to never make mistakes or cause any harm to the person, but he's aware of his own demons and flaws that make him a terrible person. Fyodor wants to be able to fully trust the person he is dating and to be able to be vulnerable around them, but he himself knows that in his "profession" that's impossible. He wants to have a normal life with the person he loves, a normal domestic life, but he has no choice, but to try to fulfill his mission, since that's the only meaning of his life, and he can't abandon it. He wants to feel love freely without any consequences, but as a member of Decay of Angels he can't have that.

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↬|Nikolai|

Nikolai basically wants to be the center of his s/o's world. Nikolai wants his s/o to be completely devoted to him and only him, to give him all the attention and love he wants. Nikolai wants his s/o to want only him and nobody else. Nikolai would probably get jealous and mad if his s/o gave any attention to anyone else, as Nikolai is definitely the type to be very possessive. Nikolai wants his s/o to only focus on him, and he wouldn't hesitate to try and get all the attention to himself.

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↬|Sigma|

He wants to be able to fully open up to his s/o, to share all his innermost thoughts and fears with them. He wants to be vulnerable and let down his guard around her, but the reality is that he can't. As the manager of a casino that is a front for a terrorist organization, he has to keep up appearances and act confident and composed at all times. Despite this, he longs to be able to be open and honest with them and trusts them enough to show even his weak sides, but he knows that he can't due to the circumstances they are in.

||[🅈earn]||

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[theflagscene]

The hand rubbing scene is the gayest sex scene GMMtv has ever had on screen, allow me to explain to you why.

Gifs by @wanderlust-in-my-soul 

Now I can’t speak as someone who is completely blind (obviously) but I can speak as someone who has been progressively losing their sight for the past 15 years - ironically enough from a car accident. Why hello Day, I see you! (pun intended) But I’m also a person who grew up HoH (hard of hearing) from the age of two years old onward, I had tubes put in my ears, wore hearing aids, the whole shebang. The chances of me actually regaining my ability to hear completely was very very slim, the fact that I did actually end up regaining some - not all - of my hearing by my late twenties was a damn shock to us all. The point being, when you are a person who’s lost one of your senses that you are used to having, your body starts to overcompensate.

Most everyone has heard/read/seen things about how removing one sense can lead to your other ones becoming stronger. There’s even been studies that show people born deaf or deafened at a very young age, that their brain starts to rewire itself to allow them to experience sound in a visual way, via touch. It’s sort of like how blind people learn to read braille in a way, the touch creates a picture in your mind allowing you to see the way that word looks and sounds and feels. Theres a whole bit in Scientific America you can check out if you want that breaks it down in layman terms without the writing acting like you’re stupid, which is always nice when it comes to medical jargon lol.

So my point that to Day, his sense of touch is not only in overdrive because it like much of the rest of his senses - smell seems to be a big one they’re leading with - are scambling to try and overcompensate for the sudden lack of sight that is getting worse as time passes. But because he had pulled away from basically the entire world post blindness setting in, spending the last year of his life in his room hardly interacting with anyone, his own mother and brother barely being allowed to touch him. That for Day, his sense of touch is absolutely frantic. Which is why it’s so important for Mhok to constantly place his hands on him, not only to help lead him back into the world but to allow Day to recognize him by touch alone. And it’s being shown that he is, Day already knows Mhok’s voice and it’s touched a bit on the way he smells (ciggs) but this last episode is really starting to show how the touch of people is starting to fully affect Day, especially when he’s out of the house and how Mhok is instantly recognized even though he always follows up his touch with a vocal confirmation that it is in fact him that is touching Day.

So that hand stroking scene, the way Mhok runs the pads of his fingers gently up the centre of Day’s palm, how he strokes the back of his hand like it’s a kitten. That right there could genuinely feel like sex to Day, if not sexual in manner at the very least. The fuzzy look Day gets in his eyes, going from blank, to blissful to bashful and then finally awkward. It wasn’t just because of the fact that the dude he lowkey is starting to have a crush on is rubbing his hand in what I’m seeing being called a ‘weirdly intimate way’. It’s because Day’s body and brain is reacting to that touch in a way that people with all five senses might not completely comprehend, imagine your most intense erogenous zone (btw the palms of the hands are occasionally considered one) now imagine if that intensity was ramped up by ten, or twenty or even fifty and then imagine that that erogenous zone was suddenly everywhere. The most innocuous part of your body could bring you the most incredible sensations, both sexual and emotional, that’s what Day is feeling.

Mhok, now Mhok, he’s not stupid. Far from it in fact, he’s clued in on that not only is Day queer but also that he has a bit of a crush on him. Mhok has also quickly adapted to how he needs to teach Day to see the world in a new way, hence all the touching and smelling and reinforcement that Day can in fact do things for himself, including asking for help when he needs it. So Mhok knew exactly what he was doing with the hand rubbing, sort of. Did he know the sensation would be heightened, my best bet is totally. But did he expect to have his reaction to it go beyond that of teasing? Given his own bashfulness, doubtful. When you’re dating someone with a loss of one or many senses, you tend to change your own preconceived notions of what intimacy with your partner is. For some people offering a foot rub to their partner is a clear come on, an offer for something to lead to more. But for a blind person, especially a newly blind person like Day. They use their hands to navigate their entire world - you literally read with your fingers - so a blind persons hands are basically their most important tools in a lot of ways. To have someone touch your hands with such care, such reverence, it’s not just intimate, it’s full on foreplay.

Mhok wasn’t just touching Day, he was touching Day. It was meant to be seen as intimate because it was intimate, so intimate, in a way I don’t think either Mhok nor Day were expecting it to be because neither had ever experienced something like that before. That scene was truly the beginning of their relationship shifting, that hand scene was kind of like their first kiss.

Gifs by @wanderlust-in-my-soul