#aromantic mafia

[yannig]

Another thing I really like about Koisenu Futari, is how it exemplifies the ways amatonormativity also impacts allo people.

When Sakuko’s sister Minori gets proof that her husband is cheating on her (after actively investigating to make sure).

She’s still hesitant to divorce him.

Not because she still loves him (that doesn’t come up even once).

Not because he is a great husband beyond the cheating (the screaming match about how she was the only one taking care of their daughter shows pretty clearly that he wasn’t pulling his weight).

Not even because it’s a lot harder to raise two kids on her own (tough it is mention in passing - did I mention she’s 9 months pregnant at that point? and then promptly goes into labor?).

Not even really what society is going to say about her (even tough it would be completely justified, especially in Japan).

But because she’s terrified of being alone.

And then again while she's in labor

In that way, she mirrors Sakuko’s own fear of loneliness.

And of course, she associates being single with being lonely. Because amatonormativity.

She verbalizes the relationship elevator: getting married, having a child, buying a house, another child. She calls it "a game of adulthood".

But while she comes to the conclusion that she failed at this "game of adulthood", she doesn't really get to the conclusion that it's bullshit.

Even with her sister's example right in front of her, she has trouble imagining happiness outside of marriage.

Most likely because she still sees Sakuko and Takahashi's relationship as abnormal, and therefore reserved to abnormal people. So she can't apply their example of being happy outside of marriage to herself yet. Not when she's tried to hard to be the perfect normal woman.

But no matter if Minori believes it or not, single doesn't have to mean lonely, which Sakuko proves immediately by promising to always stand by her sister's side.

And then Sakuko meets Takahashi’s ex Haruka, who explains that she moved to the countryside after their break-up, and then started up her (now very successful) farm.

Sakuko’s reaction is to say it was then a blessing in disguise

To which Haruka thanks her, saying that most people are just sad for her because she’s “old” (around 40) and still single, even tough she’s perfectly happy as is.

She’s a really good illustration that:

amatonormativity impacts everyone who strays out of it, it doesn't matter if you're aro or allo

you don’t need to be aro to be happy outside of amatonormativity’s expectation

And in that way, I feel like that makes her an optimistic answer to Minori’s concerns about loneliness.

(And then of course there is Kazu-kun, but there is so much to say about him, he'll get his own post.)

I really liked that the shows takes the time to talk about those experiences, because it makes amatonormativity much more real. It is a systemic issue, so of course it impacts everyone.

And I think we've all had discussions like this, where other people's own internalized amatonormativity also completely invalidated our experiences.

So it was great to see it explored so clearly here.

(also this has nothing and everything to do with it, but the fact that in the credit, Minori is called by her husband's name. I don't think it's used in the show itself but. You know. All of a woman identity depending on her husband. All that.)

[aceysun]

"love is love" until it doesn't include sex

"love is love" until it lives in separate beds

"love is love" until it is queer platonic

"love is love" until it does not comply with compulsory sexuality and amatonormativity

love IS love, for aspecs, for sex repulsed folk and for platonic relationships

"love is love" apply to more than same-sex relationships in a world where romantic and sexual relationships are considered more valuable

Remember to advocate for Asexuals and Aromantics this pride. Because we are also here, and we are also queer

[that-bisexual]

yeah, love is love. Even platonic love and queer platonic partners. Even aesthetic love. Even love without sex. Even familial love. All love is love.

[starrycosme]

Today I came out to my brother as aroace and he said: "Oh, just like Jaiden!"

The relief of immediate understanding... I've never had that before. That's what why good representation is important, you guys. I'm so thankful for that video she made.

[milanocookiesandivyprofen]

Say it with me, everyone.

ARO DOES NOT EQUAL ACE.

ACE DOES NOT EQUAL ARO.

SOMETIMES PEOPLE ARE BOTH. THAT DOES NOT MEAN THEY ARE THE SAME.

AROMANTIC AND ASEXUAL ARE DIFFERENT, AND SHOULD BE RESPECTED AS SUCH.

edit: holy shit, this post has gotten so popular it's getting aphobia notes! thanks y'all

[thermodynamic-comedian]

hello, tumblr user. before you is an aromantic character. they have never expressed any hint of asexuality. your task is simple: do not refer to them as an "aroace" or get mad at people writing smut about them. the duration of this task is the rest of your life. if you fail at any point in the future, i will personally shoot you.

good luck.

[500-moths-in-a-trenchcoat]

the asexual tag is trending again. y'all know what that means.

THE BOTS ARE RETURNING, MAN YOUR BATTLE STATIONS

[i-like-swiss-cheese]

WAIT GUYS

WHEN YOU THINK ABOUT IT

AROMANTICISM IS THE MOST PREVELANT QUEER IDENTITY

THINK ABOUT IT

ALL BACTERIA, ARCHEA AND OTHER SINGLE CELLED ORGANISMS ARE AROACE

BUT MOST ANIMALS, PLANTS AND FUNGI, AND OTHER EUKARYOTES REPRODUCE SEXUALLY BUT DO NOT PARTNER UP FOR LIFE

THEREBY BEING AROALLO

AND IN COMBIONATION WITH THE AROACE PROKARYOTES

AROMANTICISM IS THE MOST PREVELANT QUEER IDENTITY BECAUSE IT IS THE DEFAULT THAT 99.9% OF LIFEFORMS ARE

credit to @watermelon-candy11 for VVVV

EDIT: ALSO BECAUSE MOST OF THE TIME THE MAJORITY OF CELLS IN THE HUMAN BODY ARE MICROBES

AND BECAUSE THEY ARE AROACE

EVERYONE IS LIKE HALF ARO BY CELL COUNT

[aestophobia]

being aroace and also a picky eater is just a constant stream of "well how do you know you won't like it if you never try it"

[unluckyshinyhunter]

“sex/love is what makes us human!” people when then realize other animals do the same:

[chaoticrei]

I want to spam garlic bread in the ask box of every aspec person on this app . I'm not kidding, this is my project, it's important, you can reblog, start chains under this post, do what you want, but if you're aspec, write something in the comments or in the reblogs, so I will gift you some garlic bread. WRITE SOMETHING IN THE REBLOGS, ANYTHING, EVEN JUST "#garlic bread", otherwise I won't find you among all these notes

Let me know if you don't receive your garlic news in two days! I might miss some orders!

Edit: sorry, you're too many and I found out that I'm a human being with a life.

If you want to deliver garlic bread to those who reblog, feel free to do it (it would make me happy), but I'm RETIRED.

If you don't read this, it's not my problem, I will go back to my silly blog without garlic bread

[banhamm3r-r3al]

huh how did i reach 6 followers

you know what heres some more garlic bread, enjoy

[crystalsandbubbletea]

"Sex and romance is what makes us human!"

What if I fuckin' bite you and take a chunk out of your arm? Hm?

[the-torchwood-magician]

"everyone wants sex and romance"

WRONG

I want fuzzy blankies

[love-me-love-my-weirdness]

Cishet aspecs are queer.

Cishet aromantics are queer. Cishet asexuals are queer. Cishet aplatonics are queer. Cishet afamilials are queer. Cishet anattractionals are queer.

Aspecs are queer as hell and excluding them only isolates queer people from their community.

[thermodynamic-comedian]

when i say that there's a disparity in how aromantics and asexuals are treated, what i mean is that romantic asexuality is allowed to exist, but sexual aromanticism is not. what i mean is that all sexual content is expected to be tagged appropriately, and sex-repulsed people can block those tags, but romantic content is almost never tagged as romantic, and romance-repulsed people are just expected to be alright with that. what i mean is that you cannot make a single post about aromanticism without someone tagging it as "ace" or "aroace" (even if you specifically make a banner that says not to do so). what i mean is that i have gotten several hate anons from other aspecs just because i talk openly about being a non-ace aro. what i mean is that all aromantic representation is aroace. what i mean is that the aspec community is incredibly sex-negative. what i mean is that popular aspec media openly spouts alloarophobia and still gets praised as good aspec representation. what i mean is that non-ace aros are expected to seperate our sexuality from our aromanticism entirely because it might make some aroace uncomfortable to acknowledge that sexual aromanticism can and does exist.

there is a fucking disparity, you're just not listening to us.