#attention & praise seeking is like. the only way i know how to get my social need filled.

[kindnessoverperfection]

[azrielgreen]

I could really use some advice if you're feeling up to it. I have been writing for a little over a year now. I hadn't written for fun since middle school probably. I genuinely have a lot of fun planning and writing and get excited about new ideas but lately more and more I've been have more moments of feeling like I'm horrible at it. I want to just do it because I enjoy it and it's a way to cope sometimes but the thoughts are still there. I can't help but look at the stats for the things I've put out there and number of hits versus kudos doesn't really help, like 95% of those don't leave kudos. I don't want to care about the stats, I want to just do it for fun but I'm feeling a bit discouraged. I almost deleted 30k/3 months of work because I just felt like everything I've done sucks. Thankfully a friend talked me down. I know I'm always going to be harder on myself than anyone else but it's still hard. Any advice so I can keep doing something I enjoy without letting it have that negative effect on me at the same time?

Thank you in advance 💜

Hello, lovely. Firstly, I'm so sorry you're feeling that way. Writing can be really lonely and self doubt creeps in through the cracks, so it feels natural to compare and check stats, but my god is that NOT an accurate reflection of anything resembling success/talent. Sometimes I really wish AO3 wouldn't publicly show things like hits/kudos/comments or at least give people the option to hide them if they wanted. Those numbers are tremendously distorted and will never accurately reflect what self doubt drives us to seek out.

At heart, you have the right outlook 100%. Writing for yourself is always the true path and if you follow your joy, you'll never go wrong but I think something I've noticed over the last year in fandom is how people have become quite bitter over stats and numbers, obsessive even, declaring something a "flop" if it didn't get certain numbers/likes/kudos etc... and that is just a recipe for fucking disaster. It's really hard to write something and work on it while wondering if anyone will even read it, so I do totally understand that doubt, BUT.

One thing I will say that I hope is heard by those who need it: FUCK THE STATS. They are no true indication of anything, are insanely warped over time and I do think that at this point the Steddie is oversaturated. It will always have a strong readership because it's a massively mainstream pairing in a hit show and there will be an upswing when SE5 drops (not that I'll be watching, fuck you Noah) but I think that people have to understand there is no level basis of comparison for numbers and that everything you see now is skewed by time or people using socials to market and plug their fics, driving traffic.

The attention is diminishing. All energy is cyclical, it ebbs and flows. It's been two years, people aren't reading like they were in 2022.

So, my advice to you. Don't write for other people. Don't write for popularity, numbers, relevance or praise because there is no consistent way to reliably ensure the attainment of such things in a fandom. Write for YOU and only you. You will always be your own biggest fan, so make THEM happy first and foremost and then if anyone else enjoys it, bonus. Your art is coming out through your passion, your stories are born through curiosity and creativity and they will be NEEDED by someone. Maybe not the day you post, maybe not a year after but one day, someone will find it and love it so much and it will save them.

Not to be all "back in the good old days" but I think often about a very formative and impactful fic I read which was already complete by the time I found it, it had been for years and I never got to follow & comment weekly encouragement at the time. The fic was extremely niche and controversial. It changed me as a person and I'm grateful every day the writer pushed on and completed it because I needed it so much and it was waiting for me. I think sometimes the social aspects of fandom are a real distraction from the core pull of what we are driven by as writers; creation. I think fandom was never meant to be this visible or socially accessible and comparison wrecks many people's confidence.

Those numbers are fucked, cooked or legacy. Ignore them.

In ten years, when someone is having the worst night of their life and they get on AO3, and they find your stuff that you posted, shared and created, it will be their shining light. Keep going, be brave, explore. Make a bubble for yourself with ONLY obsessively positive interiors where you create and trust that THIS THING is the greatest thing you've ever made and then move onto the next.

Writing is incredibly difficult for numerous reasons and I have nothing but the utmost respect for those who devote their time, energy and effort to it the way fic writers do. Self doubt is common, no matter how much people project success.

You're doing great. Fuck the numbers. Focus on yourself.

💜💜💜

[voidcat]

— a mutual intoxication

characters: dazai osamu, you

notes: implied toxic unlabeled past relationship, idk what this is beyond that, ive been doing some p stupid shit lately i needed dazai to shake me out of it. also my e key has issues so there may b missing lettrs

song: Los Borrachos (I Don't Have Any Hope Left But The Weather Is Nice) by Car Seat Headrest i think?? im notsure

Turning your phone off with a sigh, you close your eyes, sensing that presence hovering over your shoulder a little too late.

You have grown rusty, it seems, for he stands like that, too close for comfort, close enough for you to feel his breath and his eyes glued on the black screen of your phone.

“Look who’s here!”

Dazai Osamu exclaims giddily as he makes a turn around and slides right next to you. As if its some mere coincidence the two of you ran into one another and not something he foresaw before you even decided to drop by this cafe.

And so Dazai settles down, makes himself comfortable, easing in and blending into your side, to the environment.

A quick look shot his way, at your phone and the people idling in the cafe, you wait and wait, swallow down each second thats been passing.

And he catches it no matter how quick.

Of course he would, this is Dazai after all. Nothing gets past his senses, his wicked perception, his inituition.

Dazai's presence right here, right now means only one thing: That he has won.

Or so, he thinks. And once he does, it is the truth and absolute truth, even despite the circumstances preventing it, he will make sure to eradicate.

So far his voice falls deaf on your ears, as often was the case in your past, just a background noise to fill the air and nothing else–

"Someone has been busy, hm?" his coo leaves you on the edge, and you have half a mind to not jolt up or shoot another glance by your phone.

You know this.

You know Dazai, he is just doing what he does best, you are better than this: giving him what he seeks.

"So, what are they like? Have they been helping you with that itch on your brain that needs a good scratch?"

It shouldn't sting when you have grown used to it, but it does, just a little.

Not because he is right– he is, that's another issue, but because you're still doing that after all that time.

A little attention never killed anyone, that part of your brain reasons but another is quick to remind you of all those myths and tragedies of Greece.

It is nowhere as satisfactory as the real thing obviously, but even messages of sweet words and praises gets you going– though you hate to admit it, that you like this, you relish on this, the high of it.

Bonus points when the compliments are not the typical ones you can see everywhere, when the terms of endearment and what follows them sound to be thought over.

Lips pulled tight, you only stare at Dazai without a word.

"Not deserving of your voice? Not even the scoldings?" he tilts his head to the side with a smirk.

Bandaged hand over the table moves on its own.

They seem fresh, you cannot help but make a note of. Perhaps he came across a discount recently. There is no way in hell he would pay for these. Not when he has the agency's stash to raid, or you to buy and apply a fresh set.

His weird unique way of showing vulnerability, in his own way. But how can you blame the man?

He was already a mess when the two of you met.

Finger swiped over the screen, he taps the passcode, only to be left alone with the lockscreen.

Head turned to face you, another smirk that says "I'm impressed."

thanks no thanks, i don't need your compliments, you want to say.

you are not worried per se, you do not owe your piece of shit of an ex any explanation.

how things will turn out however, has you wondering. You know Dazai, but there are times when even you're at a loss of predicting his mind.

Friend of a friend– you doubt he knows that friend in th first place. Maybe their social media profiles at most but that's not much to go by.

The phone comes to life then– of course it had to be th fingerprint you had forgotten about.

Yet Dazai only seems pleasant at th turn of events. From your expression, he can tell this was not intentional but where's the fun if he doesn't go around claiming you were always waiting for him to return to your loving embrace.

"Not good enough apparently."

you whip your head at his voice, confusion clear on your face.

"Since you're sitting here alone all by yourself, not even on a call or texting." he shrugs as if he is explaining something simple, some truth of life to a kid.

"And do pray tell, Dazai, how am i supposed to text or talk when you have my phone?" you don't realize your teeth grithing.

To your reaction he only offers a grin, aware you know the answer as well as him.

even now, him going through your phone is old news. He did that before, and so did you– returning the favor.

If you wanted all his attention on himself, he demanded the same in return, give and take, until you suffocate.

and yet, even now that air stinging and filling your lungs does not hurt. the unbreathable toxic air is welcome in your lungs, an old friend you cannot shake off your life.

dull eyes ignore your question as they quickly go over chat histories, a little sneak at your photo roll without a doubt and side private accounts you keep limited to few people in your life.

with a sigh, he turns the device off and tosses it back on the table, leaning on his back, relaxing entirely. "My, my– and here I was worried you had forgotten all about me."

You had, as a matter of fact, yet you doubt he'd take your word for it, not when he has something brewing in his head to prove. Whaatever it may be, you know it won't end up in your favor.

"Now I just feel bad," that indifferent tone of his rings loud and clear.

hah! as if he is in any position to feel bad for your sake, what an awful attempt at a joke.

"Darling, you deserve better than that." "And that 'better' is supposed to be you?" you retort without missing a beat, annoyance clear in your voice.

"Well," he drags the word with a tilt of his head, gaze locked on the ceiling as if it's the wide blue sky instead, "Not saying I'm the best you've had, surely there are plenty of fish in the sea,"

a lie, you are aware, what he truly says is 'your words, not mine'.

"You deserve someone to match your wits." he concludes.

When you turn to look at his face, you see him sliding down slightly, head thrown back and resting.

even when complimenting, he makes sure to cast the hook where he wants it, all he has to do is sit and wait.

and hate yourself just as much, you know it has worked, that he is right. As exhasuting as it was to be ...something with Dazai Osamu, it was exciting, keeping the adrenaline rushing constantly, the ups and downs, highs and lows, the clashing and the sudden unision in the face of anything else.

"Not some sorry excuse of a person who cannot even pick up on one third of the things and teasings you say."

this, you're unsure if it is the living and breathing Dazai that says it, or the little one nestling in the back of your hand, always making sure to remind you he will never leave you alone.

Th who of it does not matter though.

Bcause all the ticks and kcks of your relationship with him, it was the unspoken understanding you enjoyed more than anything.

A look is all it takes, a gesture is all he needs, no words spoken, no thoughts admitted out loud verbally.

With a mind as sharp and bright as Dazai's, he understood you more than anyone else.

But being understood is not the entirety of it.

that's where communication plays in after all.

and as bright as he may be, Dazai took this to his advantage, his vague tactics to keep you around.

Sweetness but not too much, attention just long enough to keep you waiting for more, at the ready with big eyes–

letting your shoulders drop and realizing the tension you had on this whole time, you lean back as well, mirroring the man next to you and letting your body fall toward his direction a little.

Who are you to judge Dazai Osamu when you haven't been any better?

maybe this is what you wanted this whole time, letting this 'break up' last longer than the prvious ghosting phases, ignoring him on purpose and seeking out a new source to keep you up.

you can feel an arm draping over you, not bothering to open your eyes. this, too, has become something you've grown all too familiar with– one of the dolce ones, even when th grip becomes tight– keeping the other locked in.

because for any chain Dazai has on you, he possesses a matching one.

He might be the human with the highest perception skills for all you care– you know him, and that speaks for itself.

back and forth, it's a never ending dance of teasing, stepping on toes on purpose, pretending to have gotten bored in the middle only to surprise the second party with a sudden spin and bending of the waist– leaning in, nose to nose, until your visions blur into nothing but each other, and the mess you have left in your trail.

[cafeleningrad]

I guess my personal interest in the Black Rose arc lies in the utter deconstruction of social roles, and meditation on power dynamics. But most of all how this arc demonstrates the ambivalence in simultaneously of everything.

Again, the arc is about the overlooked characters who're treated as if they were disposable or stock characters. The spotlight is directed away from our usual main characters. Even though the triangular constellation or even characters of Tokiko, Mikage, and Mamiya et rarely discussed, their relationships are a sign of what's to come: An adult who's unable to let go of what they adore and deciding they know better than their little sibling, a lonely teenager who's moved by younger sibling of the adult, and the sibling themselves who, unlike their older sibling can deal with mortality but gets ignored. This arc is also about the plurality of characters. If this arc is about demonstrating how perceived stock personalities are as deep as the candy-colour-highlighted people lavished in attention, by the story, by the audience, it's also an arc how people can be multifacetted, contain apparently opposed natures in them.

It's also a deeply existential arc. Whereas the real Mamiya was ready to accept that he was terminally ill, Tokiko wasn't. So she started an entire project to find a cure (with or without Mamiya's agreement). And even though Nemuro finally felt human connection through and thanks to Mamiya, he was swayed by Tokiko's ambition rather than letting Mamiya go. (I mean Utena's and Mikage's talk in the rose garden use the same construction as the cross at the burial of Utena's parents.)

In that way, Mikage is as well Utena's dark mirror image, a warning whom she might become if she can't deal with the death of her ideals and false memories. Mikage is simultaneously eerily similar in his fate of Akio's. To say, Akio also clings to his one and only childish role in which he had a sole purpose. The masses became faceless and impersonal to him as they served only the purpose to be his purpose. Without them, he would have none to save, none to praise him. With a falsified memory in which Anthy!Mamiya claims he desires eternity, Souji doesn't deal with Mamiya's death either. Instead he continue to serve a nefarious purpose, not caring about anyone but himself, and his own desire. (Also, Mikage's ending her contract is the precursor to Anthy's farewell to Akio.) At a certain point, the sacrifices, be it students seeking counseling, be it 100 classmates, are all acceptable collateral damage to Mikage, as long as they further his desire. But then again, like Utena, Nemuro was alienated by his peers, very lonely until he met Tokiko and Mamiya. Mamiya's certain death moved him so much, he made connections with both Mamiya and Tokiko. All his research was maybe done against Mamiya's will but carried out of the desire to help him, lead on by Tokiko's love and good intentions.

Tokiko simultaneously occupies the role of both Akio and Utena. She can't let go of Mamiya in spite of Mamiya voicing how futile Tokiko's endeavour is, how he doesn't actually believe in eternity. Like Akio, Tokiko moves everything in spite of her brothers wishes to even work against his wishes. She clings onto Mamiya, and burdens the reasons of her actions on him. Like Utena, Tokiko's method of denying mortality, entrapping her beloved in stasis is done with gentle violence. Utena wants Anthy to be a normal girl, meaning, she wants Anthy to have a carefree life. She means well. Tokiko wants Mamiya to rest, instead of spending his time in the rose garden. Her method of eternally keeping roses alive is by letting them dry or making sugar roses. It's a futile yet stubborn fight against decay but one with kind intention.

And in this method I see an interesting contrast. Whereas Tokiko's method of preservation is one with gentle methods, creating a Black rose can be done in two way: Either roses et artificially dyed, loosing their original colour. Which we see happening when the BR-duelists get "cultivated" with their respective prince's colour. Or the rose gets burned so hot, it's actually more charcoal in the shape of a rose than a rose. Well, if that doesn't resemble the big fire and death of 100 students....

But in that way, what I think what fundamentally makes Tokiko and yes even Nemuro different from Akio is that they both acted out of love. They made the same mistake ignoring Mamiya's desire, unable to cope with loss and grief. But unlike Akio they wanted to keep Mamiya in their lives more than anything else.

With Mamiya's death, the best of Nemuro died. Horrified how her brother's name was misused for mass murder, seeing what inability to handle loss did with Nemuro, Tokiko did face her pain. She lived on, she left Ohtori. She might still be sad, visiting Ohtori on occasions to contemplate her grief. Unlike Akio though, Tokiko finds the stasis unbearable to witness. In fact Tokiko is the only person Akio is incapable to act as cool or charming because she has advanced from his central conflict which shapes his character. His eternal youth is more unsettling than it ever was attractive. It takes Akio a massive reframing and rewriting of Nemuro's memories to the point Nemuro becomes Mikage, to alter Mikage's personality to suit his goal. And still, in the twisted, coldest, unempathetic version of himself, Mikage still thinks he found a way to be happy with Mamiya for the future...

[yanderes-galore]

Oh oh! I have one for invader Zim! If you don't write for Zim himself please ignore, and I apologize if this is the case. BUT perhaps.... headcanons for Irken reader and zim? Especially if the reader is pretty tall (not as tall as the tallest ofc but like.. average adult human height). I'd like to see what you think Zim would be like especially if he's absolutely head over heels for them on first meeting 🙈

Sure! How could I not write for Zim, lol.

Original Zim Concept

Yandere! Zim with Irken! Darling

Short Concept

Pairing: Romantic

Possible Trigger Warnings: Gender-Neutral Darling, Obsession, Attempted manipulation, Delusional behavior, Forced relationship, Worship yandere, Kidnapping/Isolation mention, Slight possessive behavior.

Irken, as I've stated in my Zim concept, aren't the best in terms of love.

At birth they have no parents and are just... thrown into their role.

So Zim with another Irken may start as you just tolerating each other.

However... Irken society has always praised height.

They are normally a short species and even The Almighty Tallest are artificially tall.

Zim may be obsessive with a taller darling faster than one of his own height.

This is due to the social dynamic of your society.

Zim overall is very similar to his original yandere behavior with an irken darling.

Maybe less sadistic, but overall the same.

Zim is Manipulative, Possessive, Attention-Seeking/Clingy, Delusional, and difficult with proper affection.

If you were taller than him then he'd probably also be a worship yandere.

How you could meet is you go to Earth for whatever reason you feel is appropriate.

A mission, being banished, sent to get rid of Zim, Curiosity, etc...

Zim isn't entirely an 'obsession at first sight' yandere.

He'd take a bit more time.

Although he does find himself growing fond of you rather quickly...

A bit too quickly for his liking....

Zim has always been manipulative.

He has a way with words and can be charismatic when he talks.

With you as an Irken his charm is less effective but he still tries.

If you fall for his words and lies is up to you.

There's a good chance you won't, annoying for him but great for you.

Zim would still be possessive.

Now there's two Irkens on Earth and he can drag you into his plans for destruction!

In his eyes you two will be partners in crime.

You'll both destroy Earth, even if that wasn't your plan.

Zim is not very considerate of your thoughts and feelings.

If you want to go outside and mingle with humans, he won't allow it.

Zim hates the idea of your attention going anywhere/to anyone else but him.

He's delusional.

Not only does he feel you "love" him like he does you, he feels you agree with his plans no matter how stupid.

(Not love, although he doesn't know the difference)

Zim is poor when it comes to actual affection.

The concept of love is so strange to him and he already is uneasy about hugs or anything more.

Irkens just don't do that?

He tries to instead show his affection and obsession towards you in other ways.

He shows he respects you with compliments and gifts.

To him he feels it is the best less physical way to express his adoration.

Lastly, Zim is a yandere that thrives on praise.

If you're a taller Irken than him then it just hits harder.

He comes to his darling for praise and melts whenever he gets it.

He doesn't like you out of his sight and tries to keep you in his base because of this.

It's safer in the base anyways.

No need to be involved with those filthy humans.

Zim worships you like you're a gift from The Tallest themselves at times.

He's egotistical himself but he'd worship you for that reason if you were tall or not.

If you were tall then he doesn't mind you taking control of the mission at times.

Irken have a thing for height 🤷‍♀️.

Overall, Zim would fall for a fellow Irken darling. Even more so if you were taller.

Just prepare for his intense and deranged delusions towards you.

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

Hi Raven! Lemme start out saying that I love your posts, they are really thought out and informative, especially with matters going on in the community. You don’t have to answer this if you're busy,but I have a question. I wanna start a Twist blog, well kinda. I wanna start posting some of my works, and kinda make a blog on my Twist OC, but I don't know where to start. If you have any tips or tricks, that would be helpful l, but if you don't have a direct answer to this, that's fine too anything will help. And another question is, how do you get over to fear of people not liking your works or even OC? I've seen quite a bit of hate in this Fandom, and idk if my sensitive heart can take it. 😅 It's kinda the reason why I've never posted at all. Thanks again.

Hello there ^^ I’m happy that you enjoy my blog and that you find my posts informative!

For general advice on starting and maintaining a writing blog, please see this post. I’m going to use the rest of this response to speak at length about the second question posed by the asker: “how do you get over the fear of people not liking your works or even OC?”

First, let’s get something out of the way: humans are inherently social creatures; therefore, it is in our nature to desire positive attention/approval and to be afraid of rejection and ostracism. There is no shame in wanting validation. It’s a built-in survival mechanism leftover from the past—because when humans band together, they are more likely to thrive. However, I also think that in the modern world, it’s easy to get carried away and care too much about what others will think of you. This is so true in the age of social media, where likes, shares, and even follows and views are quantifiable and thus can be used as a point of comparison to others on the same platform. It’s also easier than ever to connect with others, which can be both a boon (meeting people you otherwise could have never met) and a detriment (internet hate).

Now, as simple as it would be for me to say, “create for yourself rather than seek the approval of others”, that advice doesn’t actually do much for anyone. It's easy to talk the talk, but it's much harder to walk the walk. It’s all about mindset, because in actuality, a very small number of people out of the overall fandom will care about your works enough to actively hate on an individual. The mind seemingly magnifies the number because humans are hardwired to pay more attention to the negative experiences over the positive ones (which, again, is another survival instinct; you pay attention to the bad things to avoid them or to resolve the issues). There goes the saying, “we’re our own worst critics”, and it’s very true here. It’s not just negativity from others you must deal with, but self/doubt snd your own mind perpetuating the belief that the negativity is much worse than it actually is. Of course, there are actual serious cases of hate (harassment, stalking, threats, doxxing, racism, etc), but here I am only referring to general cases of other people “not liking what you make” or saying mean things (such as “you’re a bad writer”).

So how does one improve their mindset? Truth be told, it doesn’t happen overnight. In fact, learning to not care what others think of you is a difficult and lengthy process. It will take time and effort to reach a comfortable state of acceptance (and yes, I’m talking years long here)—but it is possible to grow out of that fixation.

Here are some truths you have to accept if you want to overcome your worries:

In putting your work “out there” in a public space, you will naturally invite feedback, both good and bad. An integral part of creating is, of course, wanting to share one’s creations with others. However, it’s unrealistic to think that you won’t ever get negative feedback or critique. It isn’t always constructive or helpful to you, but you must brace for them to come your way all the same. If you think about it, getting nothing but praise isn’t good either because then it traps you in a cycle of thinking you’re perfect and there’s nothing you need to improve on. It becomes an echo chamber and it can lead to stagnation because you’re already satisfied with your current state instead of thinking about how you can grow. Mixed feedback is important for personal growth.

There may not necessarily be a problem with your content, it could be a matter of differences in circumstances or tastes. You must remember that lack of engagement is not always equivalent to hate. Indifference or not even coming into contact with a post is NOT the same as actively going to post a negative comment or ask. That being said, lack of engagement could be the result of a website’s algorithm working against your favor. Alternatively, it could be that you aren’t hitting a target audience. Like, if you write angst, it may not appeal to a certain subsection of fans. These are factors largely outside of your control, and trying to gain that control would be a fruitless effort.

There’s nothing wrong with blocking, especially if things escalate. I know that on sites like Twitter and Tiktok, blocking people is seen as “taboo” or some kind of hateful social statement when… it’s not. Blocking is a means of curating your space so you can have fun online without worrying about others raining on your parade. If people are giving you a hard time, nothing is stopping you from blocking them (which can be done even with anonymous asks). Don’t give people that send “hate” attention by responding and showing just how upset their comments made you, it only encourages them to continue once they’ve seen how much it affects you.

One instance of “hate” is not representative of the entire fandom’s feelings. This circles back to what I said before; the negative and toxic people in this fandom is actually minuscule when compared to the total number of fans in this space. Instead of letting the few rotten apples define the entire bushel, think about all the positive experiences you’ve had!

You can’t please everyone. As much as you try to, it won’t happen. But you know what is much more feasible of a goal? Pleasing yourself. You know what you like best, and if you’re able to make what makes you happy then you have a 100% chance of satisfying at least one person.

If you feel frustrated, it’s fine!! It’s normal to feel this way when you think a work you shared isn’t getting the kind of exposure you want it to (whether it’s little exposure or negative exposure). We want to feel like our energy and time was put into something worthwhile. Just don’t take it too hard because these things are bound to happen. Not everything you make will be a hit, and your audience may not always be receptive to what you put out.

If you create mainly or solely for the approval of others, you won’t be happy with yourself. Ask yourself why you want to create in the first place. Most likely it’s because you’re passionate about TWST and/or you just wanted to have fun. But when this shifts to a focus on pleasing others, is it really fun anymore? If you’re always chasing trends (which are very transient) or thinking about how you should change your work to have greater mass appeal, is it really “you”, or are you just being what you think people want you to be? It just results in never being satisfied, because you’re aiming for the impossibility of making everyone happy. When you weigh your worth based on others’ perception of you or on engagement, you run the risk of burnout and losing joy in creating.

You’ll have to embrace cringe. When I say “cringe”, I mean it in the sense that you should be comfortable being your authentic self even if you fear people won’t like it. Again, you cannot please everyone—but surely there will be people who will accept you and like you for who you are. Some will vibe with you, some won’t, and that’s a fact.

You won’t be perfect at keeping out negativity from others, and that’s okay. What matters is how you address those instances when they arise. It’s not productive to let negative thoughts stew or hold you back from creating what you want. Instead of letting the thoughts fester, try to redirect your energy to something else.

Additionally, here are some suggestions on what you can do to alleviate your doubts. These methods work for me, but I’m not going to claim they work for everyone; I figured I’d just throw the ideas out there in case they’d be helpful to others.

Isolate yourself from social media for a period of time until you're in a better headspace.

An alternative to social media isolation is looking at other people's creations (but ignoring the numbers, as that can be a basis for comparison)! It may inspire you to make something of your own. For example, sometimes I've been scrolling and I'd see someone's OC in their own outfit for an event like Fairy Gala, and that made me excited to do the same for my own characters.

Another alternative to social media isolation is looking at the positives! Think about the number of people who have supported you or left nice comments and how they outweigh the Negative Nancies. (This is an example of using the numbers to your advantage!) I know of some friends who use a special tag on their blogs to denote "feel good" asks so they can reference these to cheer up when they're feeling discouraged or down.

Rather than comparing yourself to others, compare yourself to... yourself! Treat it like a New Year's resolution: you're looking back at where you started and think considering how you've changed since then.

Do something else you love to get your attention away from your creative endeavors. This could be another hobby or spending time with friends or family.

Speaking of friends and family, talk to them! Let them know how you're feeling and why you're feeling this way. They can offer you support and advice. I find that this is especially helpful when you are able to speak with other content creators, who may be able to empathize with your experiences.

Practice mindfulness and gratitude. Instead of thinking about what you don't have, think about what you do have and be appreciative of it. This helps shift the center away from things out of your control (ie other people) and to something that is within your control (ie yourself).

Minimize taking things personally. This can be especially hard in cases of OCs because creators tend to put a lot of themselves into their OCs (particularly if they are self inserts or Yuusonas)—so when others say they don't like an OC, it can feel like an indirect way of saying "I don't like you, the creator". But rarely is this the intended meaning of a comment. When people say they don't like something, it doesn't always mean they also dislike the creator. Remember that at the end of the day, we're all internet strangers that don't know each other on a deeply personal level (so why should you hinge your self-worth on such a thing?). You can be close with your works and OCs, but don't necessarily think of the works/OCs as a 1:1 extension of yourself. When you think of it like that, it helps to detach yourself from negativity that a work may receive.

Think about what you’re good at and focus on that niche. In this way, you will be able to make what you want while also attracting an audience that also appreciates this niche over time.

Make something for yourself, no posting necessary! Sometimes it can help you air out your feelings if you make a piece (art, writing, etc.) for no one but yourself to see. It’s surprisingly very therapeutic.

With all of that being said, I’d like to close off this post by saying that conquering the fear of others negatively judging your works is something that all creators have to go through. We're at various stages in this process, and we will continue to have our moments of weakness. This is a completely normal thing (though it is perhaps not commonly discussed out in the open) and it should be normalized. Even I go through periods of self-doubt and find myself holding off on posting certain pieces (especially anything that is OC-related) because I overthink how they may be perceived. I know that most of my audience is here for the canon TWST characters, so I worry that posting OC content is self-indulgent, maybe even selfish if I'm feeling particularly mean toward myself on a given day. It's negative self-talk like this that can be detrimental to creators and their enjoyment of their craft; that's why it's important to identify these moments and try to figure out ways to overcome them, even if it's just taking little baby steps. Some progress is better than no progress!

Anyway, I hope that you found this post useful ^^ If you think it may be also be of use to a creator you know, please consider sharing it with them.

[skitskatdacat63]

Back in my monthly depression era ig but. Thinking about social media and art, and how their relationship has fucked with me. I'm glad I started drawing fanart and I don't regret it. And I think I've really improved my skill this past half year plus. But man it gives me such a terrible complex. That paranoia of "who even would give a shit about this" and "when will people be done with me."

I think any artist always craves some recognition and praise no matter how much you say you draw for yourself. You can draw for yourself but it's still extremely gratifying and inspiring to have people's approval or thoughts on it.I used to draw for myself more and draw so much random art, but I discussed it a lot with friends and it made it more gratifying, to have that interest. And I lost that kinda, a lot. I feel like for a bit btwn losing that and drawing fanart, I can't really remember, I didn't draw as much bcs it just felt a bit unrewarded and it felt bleh.

And then I started drawing fanart. Which felt very rewarding. I'm happy I've not ever really felt the desire to make widely "appealing" art. If you look at even the first things I posted, it's extremely niche, and that's been a lot of fun! But it's also just made me so paranoid and self conscious. What if people get tired of this. What if people find it strange. What if people find it annoying. What if I'm being repetitive. Etc. It's really irritating bcs I KNOW people have told me they find my stuff interesting and that they like it. But my brain can't help but think, what is the expiration date on this, when will it become boring. I discuss my art with people and it's fun, but that self consciousness clings to me like a parasite. Like ah I better hurry this up and enjoy it while I can before they get annoyed and tired of it.

I guess this is all to say, I don't always like my relationship with art, and I hate the way social media messes with your brain. I remember for a bit I would post my art on Instagram and do the whole hashtag game. And then realized it was messing with my relationship with art so I dropped it. And then did the same thing with Twitter, than dropped it, etc. I just hate how I can't let myself enjoy anything. Idk maybe I'm just burnt out or something, but whenever I think of drawing lately, there's just this voice being like "what's the point of even drawing this, why would anyone care." I hate you evil voice in my brain!!!! It's not even a thing about notes, and I feel greedy even simply admitting any of this. I think it's more of a craving of a deeper connection and discussion. Which is what I always seek when I create art. But social media makes you think about numbers and attention and makes it unhealthy and makes you feel guilty for wanting something that's pretty reasonable.

Blah blah blah anyways don't reply to this like, oh you need to fix your relationship w art by taking a break from socmed! It's just this continual cycle and maybe one day I'll break it. But sometimes it just hits harder some days. I just want to stop feeling cringe. I hate it cause internally I'm like "I am cringe but I am free" but that only has to do with actually creating the stuff. Posting about it is the trap I think. Again though, it's natural to crave discussion and approval, but putting myself out there makes me want to curl up in a ball. I miss the days when I was younger and creating all kinds of random art and forcing it upon people with absolutely no shame. But now it's like. I toss my art into the room and shut the door and hide behind it with bated breath. And it often feels like any conversation I have just sates me for a tiny bit and then I go back to feeling empty. Is it ungrateful? Or is it just natural to want to keep having and partaking in a good thing?

Someone sent me advice on this feeling at some point, about how its better to talk to people individually rather than just on main. And I agree! I had a lot of fun the last third of last year. And for some reason it's just felt different ever since the new year began. I just don't know how to recover, and to start having fun like that again. I've drawn a lot of things I've immensely enjoyed since the year began, but for some reason, which I can't really parse, have had way worse self loathing and insecurity about it all. I just wanna recover my joy back :( is that too much to ask

Tldr; yay art improvement! Complex ideas! Much discussion! However: nay! Makes me feel cringe! Makes me feel like I'm running on limited time! Makes me crave too much!

[torchickentacos]

Pokeani character motivations and goals are SO fascinating to me. Often the motives we're given are just 'be the best!' or 'make friends!', but the ones you can find through analysis and interpretation of actions after some deep digging? SUPER interesting. Rambling under cut for seelct characters that fascinate me the most in this regard. long

First off, what am I referring to here in this? I'll be talking about two things. Goals, and what motivates characters to reach those goals.

Let's look at May first. In the beginning she just wants to see the world and seeks a change of pace (motivation with no end goal). And while that never changes, it does slide over to be not quite as much of a primary motivation or focus for her.

Going by her actions and how haphazardly she tends to join contests, especially in the beginning, she seems to have little internal drive or plan, other than 'get five ribbons and win the festival' (goal, but we'll come back to that). But what DRIVES her forward to do it? What makes her genuinely WANT to do well? Because I don't see her as particularly success-driven or competitive.

I'm NOT kidding or shipping, but... the answer is Drew. Or, rather, other people. She's a very social people-person. She takes other people's words and opinions very seriously and to heart. We mostly see this with her rival Drew- he knows just how to aggravate her enough to get her raring to go, but also in a way that helps guide her along. For each bitchy rival thing he says, there's always advice in it. I guarantee. It's not just "oh you suck lmao". It's "well maybe if you actually paid any attention and had taken advantage of the sunny weather with bulbasaur (random example), then you'd have done better. rose be upon ye." This works INCREDIBLY well for May. The irritating advice, not the roses. I'm half convinced she kept giving them to beautifly. ANYWAYS We see the same with Harley, with his words affecting and influencing her, though he uses it against her, leading her astray. We see it with some of her fans- she can get a little overconfident from their praise or dejected from harsh words. She moves forward and improves (or worsens) due to other people and how much she takes in their reactions to her preformances. She's like a sponge, kind of.

But WHY is winning contests a goal for her? Genuine answer, she thought they looked dope and they're fun. Not kidding. THe only reason she started them was because they looked like more fun than the gym challenge. SO, goal: have fun (contests). Motivation: other people.

Drew is an interesting case. Most of what we get from him has to come from personal interpretation, as despite having an excellent arc, a lot of it lies beneath his surface and takes some digging. In my opinion, Drew's motivation hinges and differentiates on what he's trying to achieve. Contest-wise, don't know. We have little insight into his coordinating career path. But we DO see him interacting with people, and here's the thing: he's an introvert. he prefers to travel alone. He would rather walk out of an uncomfortable situationthan deal with it (spontaneous combusken. in-text citation: that scene where brianna talks to him and he's just like. "ok cool hi. may why did you do this to me. why did you make me socialize. goodbye." AND YET do you want to know the one consistent thing throughout his interactions???? Advice, just as mentioned above with May. BUT WE EVEN SEE IT WITH ASH! Also spontaneous combusken (AMAZING for his development despite it being shitpost worthy at times. I ADORE it despite of and because of the Moments). ANYWAYS in SC, ash is telling a heartbroken Sceptile to snap out of it. Drew comes over like "hey maybe don't yell at it. you're making it worse." We see it with him talking to Brianna, though he seems much less invested in how she does. Drew is really good at giving advice. AGAIN, we see it the most with May. He's REALLY invested in how she does. Even with other coordinators, he'll watch the screen and pay close attention to how they do. I think he's motivated by making a difference, in seeing that he can help people. Though it's also difficult to say that definitively, as we don't get much clear internal insight to him.

What about Zoey? Zoey is very, VERY internally motivated and takes contests seriously, even coldly scolding Ash for... checks notes, having fun and battling like a gym battler, which he is. (Half joking here. I love Zoey but GOODNESS she went OFF on Ash that one time.) For Zoey, contests are not a silly side hobby. They're a career for her. And while I have less examples for her, I can pretty easily conclude that she's very internally motivated to do well. Whether that's to prove herself, to make a name for herself, or what, I cannot say- but it's all internal as opposed to May's opposite motivation. Which is internally nonexistent and basically only from external influence and interaction.

So, I'd argue Zoey's goal and motivation are one and the same: to be the best coordinator she can be. Her goal is what drives her forward.

[scramble-crossing]

10, 18, 21 & 28 for the ask game w/ sho 👀

Describe the character in one sentance

Pathetic catboy with a god complex thinks he doesn't need friendship or human connections in the friendship and human connections game.

How do you think they were as a kid?

Oooh I'm glad you sent this one I have a whole fic in the works with baby Mina >:] He was an absolute hellraiser as a kid. He was energetic and stubborn but also surprisingly sensitive when he was very young, bawling his eyes out one minute and laughing like a little maniac the next. He was basically incapable of not giving everything 100%. He always struggled to get along with others, too. He was never a social animal. And while he did prefer to do his own thing, there were times when he felt lonely and longed for companionship. Generally I think that younger Mina behaved a lot like he did in Another Day, eccentric and headstrong and still fairly self-centered, but deep down all he really wanted was approval and for someone to understand him.

When do you think they were at their happiest?

This is a very interesting one because I think it's hard to tell what Mina's ever really feeling. He's all smiles in og twewy, but Joshua repeatedly implies throughout Week 2 that he's frustrated and lonely and I don't think he would do so if there wasn't some kernel of truth to it. Likewise he's a lot less openly "cheerful" through NEO, frowning or hiding his face in many of his sprites, but despite that I do think that his week spent with the Wicked Twisters was the happiest we ever got to see him. There he was, surrounded by people who looked up to and relied on him, who were excited to see him each day, if only because they needed his expertise. I think Sho eats up attention regardless of what kind it is and who it comes from, so looking after a group of nervous, uncertain teens really put him in his element. He likes being a leader! He likes praise and admiration! And because he can't get those things from his peer group since he's universally regarded as dangerous and off-putting (gee I wonder why), he seeks it out in teenagers who don't know better like any functioning, well-adjusted adult :)

Most unecessary thing they ever did

TRYING TO BEAT HIMSELF TO DEATH IN ANOTHER DAY HELLO?? WHAT WAS THAT

I will literally never get over that scene. The sheer shock of TWO MINAMIMOTOS?? followed up with the most Freudian bullshit I've ever seen in my life where Mina literally laughs and screams "I could do this ad infinitum!" as he attempts cross-dimensional self-homicide...dude you good?? On one hand I like it for further implying that Sho's prideful arrogance is a front covering up for a deeper dissatisfaction with himself that is so great he takes pleasure in hurting another version of himself (and can easily tie into how self-destructive so many of his behaviors are), but it also drives me mad for how I just. cannot discern what his motives were here beyond just fucking around and finding out I guess??? In a way it's the perfect Sho scene for being bizarre and hilarious on the surface while having kind of miserable implications if you read it a certain way.

Also slightly related: I love how he makes a big deal of saying "Now I can finally ditch you zeptograms" at the end of Week 1 before jumping to AD-verse and immediately going "Where are my zeptograms" he's so funny.

[ihavenothingtodo10220]

hey, common sense anon here, hope you are doing well!

i wanted your thoughts on why you think in modern society is obsessed with who has an audience and who doesnt? like why do mainly those who have an audience or following get the utmost attention both good and bad, yet someone like ourselves whos quite ordinary wouldnt be paid any attention unless we have to prove ourselves (as thats what it still feels like from school throughout adulthood) that we are having to either constantly chase someone for their attention or its people trying to garner the attention they want and i think itd got way out of hand to the point where society has lost track of themselves.

we can spend hours and days weeks or months oggling at the lives of others whilst feeling miserable that our life is not like theirs. im concerned that we are not progressing as people should be. so much is wasted babbling on whatever it might be that usually doesnt even concern the babbler themselves. why cant we separate our life from others and learn to be satisfied with where we are? its honestly so hard rn to not feel down in the dumps or behind or lost or stuck. yet someone else is always trying to outdo another being for what cause though? its just a separate lifestyle so why people got to make their own channels and put a character on? makes no sense to me.

its also not just rich and wealthy that rely on needing an audience or cult like fan base either. every other person snd their granny has to have some type of recognition and if we dont have such a thing why do we feel left out or behind in life bc theres always going to be someone younger than us, therell always be someone better than us st something or other so why does it matter at all in society how popular or how many cliques and internet groups where people have to belong somewhere or theyll be too much of an individual. if this makes any sense then please include your opinion!!

i think its such an issue nowadays with how many folk seek an audience and often at times i have caught myself feeling so inadequate or feeling miserable that im not receving much attention outside of relatives. its sad in a way that the world revolves around the way someone appears to be. and in my opinion even those who dont have a following wont amount to much bc in order to succeed nowadays people need some type of following be it online or elsewhere.

for ex the way society goes through trends faster than tissues or how people would only really be drawn to thode who are popular. if celeb dies its a big deal but if its ordinary person it gets overlooked or theyre life wasnt as significant :/

sorry for my rant again just been doing some thinking (again) thanks again in advance if you reply!

Honestly, this is a human thing rather than a nowadays thing I’ve found. We always want the things we see others having, and compare them to what we ourselves have at the moment. It’s like if you have siblings, how if you sibling got something nice you wanted something nice in turn. How people are always trying to be acknowledged and praised for everything they do. Though nowadays, with social media, this is definitely amplified by social media because we can now see all these things others are doing and want those things too. So it’s constantly people seeing others rising higher and higher and wanting to rise themselves. And frankly, we’re not evolved yet to deal with those things quite right. It’s like how 99% of people hate the way they look/are insecure. It’s because we’re not evolved to be used to seeing ourselves, as that ability is fairly new. Sure there were reflections in things like ice and water, but those aren’t clear and horribly skewed.

With celebs dying and things, it is sad that ordinary people get overlooked but also understandable. With celebs, you know at least of them, and have built a sort of parasocial relationship. With ordinary people it’s kind of like when you read history books about people who’ve been dead for hundreds of years. It’s very detached. Unless it’s truly brutal and gruesome, it just doesn’t feel the same as it would for a celebrity or someone in your life.

And again, the trends thing is very much something that’s a constant as well. Our sense of beauty is dependent on what you see the most. Trends change because you see one thing too much, and therefore you want the exact opposite. That, and it also reflects a culture’s values, predicament, etc. etc. trends changing reflect how we as a people are changing. Trends have always been rather fleeting in nature.

[honeyabyss]

Different ways to say I Love You (minus Luke)

Lucifer:

Lucifer isn't the best at saying what he actually feels due to his pride getting in the way, but he makes it up with small gestures

he is very observant and often knows what you need before you know it

putting on the fireplace in his study when he notices you start to rub your hands or shift your legs to warm them subconsciously

refilling your cup/glass while he pours something himself

"You should have dressed better, I can see you're shivering..."

his snarky side comments might sound like he's annoyed, but he actually cares and worries

he will most definitely put his cloak around your shoulders and keep you close to him with a hand on your waist

he's conflicted between staying subtle and showing you off all the time

"Aren't they looking amazing today? Haven't you stared enough yet? You're making them uncomfortable!"

when you're in private he becomes more open and affectionate, but still tries to play it down

him moving with his work away from his work desk to the small coffee table, sitting side by side with you, just to have you close

when he's feeling stressed he tends to intertwine his fingers with yours, seeking the comfort and familiarity of you

Lucifer tries to give you the same he feels when he is with you comfort, peace, a place to hide from the rest of the world

"You are my save haven! I don't always have to be at my best when I'm with you!"

Mammon:

"Hey! Look what I've brought you home. Ain't I the best?!"

small gifts are a regular occurrence with the Avatar of Greed, which don't always have to be the most expensive, extraordinary or thoughtful ones

"I was on the way home when I saw this and thought of you...you needed this right?"

it could have been the most ridiculous thing like a single paperclip, but he'd be so proud to have noticed and remembered you were having troubles organizing your papers yesterday

him being a tsundere makes it hard for him to openly admit or show his love for you sometimes, his thoughts are full of you and he is constantly complementing you and how much he wants to hold you in his arms or kiss...but actually vocalizing or holding and kissing you seems to be way harder

though that doesn't hold him off to keep you close and hold hands in front of others, you're his human and everyone shall know, you're his and his alone, they'd be mad to try and steal you away

as his sin is Greed, hoarding stuff happens often, most of the times he sells them to be able to get money, but every single thing you'll give him will hold a special meaning in his heart, will show off your gifts to brag

but material love isn't the only thing he can give, he'll also gladly give you all his time

he'll randomly invite you to go take a drive with him, just get in the car and go, no set destination, just Mammon and you away from his brothers and all the others

when you're alone he'd still be nervous, but cuddling will happen a lot, though he is always blushing a bright red

"If I could choose to have one treasure in my whole life, I'd choose to only treasure you!"

Leviathan:

being the Avatar of Envy, he is quick to loose his temper when you're talking or even dare touch other people, he'd be rather alone with you, but that doesn't always work, so being open and mindful about his sin is a must

"Soo what did you two talk about? Not that I mind...but you can also talk about everything with me, you know that right?"

he knows that his social skills aren't the best and that he doesn't know about to many normie topics, but he'll try his best to listen to you and come up with responses and ways to keep the conversation going

he wants to make sure you know he loves you so badly, but all he knows about love is from animes or games, so he often tries to recreate romantic scenes only to get thoroughly embarrassed

"d-d-don't laugh! This i-i supposed to be ro-romantic...."

he tries to keep you close to him as much as he can when you're outside

he knows how anxiety inducing it can be for him, when someone suddenly touches him, so he always asks you first, as embarrassing it is to ask you to hold hands or kiss, he feels better knowing you want this too

when he is playing his games, he dislikes it when you disappear out of his vision, wanting to make sure you're still there and letting you know he hasn't forgotten about you even though he is currently concentration on his gaming, he'll keep you in his lap with a furious blush on his cheeks and he might see the game over screen more often but it's definitely worth it

"You make me overcome my weaknesses, just give me time and I'll make you happy!

Satan:

"The weather is nice...do you want to take a walk with me?"

Satan enjoys spending his time with you in any way possible, a simple walk, reading sessions, visiting your favourite places, discovering new cafés, exploring galleries and museums, as long as you're around he is open to try anything

lazing around in his room cuddled up next to you with a good book will stays his favourite though, he has you for himself and it feels reassuring to know you stay with him even on the normal and eventless days

Satan isn't too handsy, but he does keep your hand in his wherever the two of you are, even if you only making your way to the kitchen, he is not exactly jealous just happy to call you his and show it

the subtle intimacy of handholding speaks volumes to him, to others it may seem like the most ordinary couple thing, but he likes to experiment and if his stupid idea of only holding 2 fingers makes you laugh then it was a full success to him

no matter how much control over his sin he has sometimes he breaks too, after getting out all his anger, he tends to be exhausted and feels vulnerable, he'll just sit down with your hands intertwined and his head resting on your shoulder, seeking comfort and affection

"Have you smiled yet? I smile every time I think of you!"

Satan will leave small notes to make your day or send you messages on your DDD when he can't be around you

"Did I ever tell you that you feel like home to me? I hope I can be your home as well!"

Asmodeus:

so many praises and compliments, like you can just sit there looking at your phone and Asmo just coos

"You look sooo pretty!~ let's take a picture together to remember this moment!"

he will take a lot of pictures of you and him, just to look at for himself when he misses you, to show off to his brothers and Solomon, or to the whole Devildom through posting it on Devilgram

he simply enjoys to look at you, though it always ends in a warm hug , kisses and praises

he may not be very poetic or thoughtful with his touches, but he always gives it his all, some feelings he just can't describe in words so he just holds you close to show you his feelings

spa days, shopping tours and going into the club happen often, though he understands if you're not up to it some times, but he will whine and demand to spend you day differently with him

he can't help it he wants to spoil you and show you off, he's is almost never jealous, rather proud even when someone flirts with you, that doesn't mean he'll give you away

"Come here, let me just hold you. You fit perfectly into my arms..."

as the Avatar of Lust, physical touch means a lot to him, not only in the sexual way, but most in importantly in the way of craving affection, he wants to be hold and to hold you, give him all your attention and he'll be happy

"Thank you for staying and accepting me!"

Beelzebub:

sleepily walking through the hallways into the kitchen to keep Beel company while he has his midnight snack and just sitting next to him talking about your day

"Thank you for staying awake with me, do you want me to get you food as well?"

with Gluttony as his sin, food is big part of his daily life, but he doesn't just eat to satisfy his hunger, but also because he enjoys the food, no matter how hungry he is, he'll offer you even the last piece to make you happy

sharing new food and old favourites of his alike, Beel likes to share his food with you, as he feels less hungry in your company anyway

seeing you happy and full makes him happy and full as well, so he puts you first most of the times, letting you choose what you want and going along with your preferences

"Anything is fine with me, you can choose for us."

Beel is also very active, playing Fangol, training and etc, he often invites you to train with him or tries to teach you new stuff, if you don't want too that's fine as well, you can watch and he may try to impress you a little bit, but he won't train much when you're around wanting to rather spend time with you

bear hugs. just you walking basically anywhere and Beel suddenly hugs you tight against his chest, nuzzling your face and having a huge grin plastered on his face

his affectionate hugs and kisses come out of nothing, surprising but welcome, some times he forgets his strength and you'll have to remind him, he'll hold you very carefully then asking if this okay

"I feel complete with you, so just stay by my side!"

Belphegor:

"Lay down with me, I nap better with you at my side!"

obviously nap time with lots of cuddling, he just drapes himself over you, holding you close and sharing his warmth with you...if you're lucky you'll even get a small goodnight kiss, but only if he's in the mood

Belphie is a bit too straightforward with his words and sometimes ends up being a bit mean when he doesn't really want to, so in crucial moments with you he tends to become quiet and seek out to hold and hopefully show you his feelings

Belphie isn't handsy but he loves to cuddle, he may not always hold your hand when taking a walk but as soon as you two sit down he'll hug you close without saying a word

when he finds you sleeping somewhere without him, he is a bit hurt at first but he recovers quick, he'll make sure you're resting comfortably, the pillow is soft enough and that the blanket keeps you warm, even going to the length to bring you his own blanket if fell asleep anywhere but you're room, without a doubt he'll feel tired after taking care of you and will fall asleep right next to you

"Sleeping without me...unbelievable...I'll just have to squish myself next to you then.."

his other passion stargazing always ends up with him hugging you and telling you about the different constellations and it's stories until you fall asleep...only when he is sure you're dreaming he dares to run his fingers through you hair and lowly hum a lullaby into the otherwise silent night

"Let's dream our life together and promise to make it true one day!"

Diavolo:

as the prince of Hell, Diavolo only ever knew people who treated him with respect, always leaving him to feel lonely and out of place, but then you came and you weren't scared neither did you treat him like a prince, you made him your friend and soon more

with you he feels finally complete and he tries to show you his appreciation and affection any free moment of his time

he'd buy you anything you want not caring about the price, but please tell him that a small and thoughtful gift makes you just as happy as anything else

being with you always has him giddy and bursting with love, he can't hold back and will shower you in attention or at least watch you do your thing

"You're looking radiant my love! I can't believe you're mine!"

similar to Beel he has these affection attacks where he'll just suddenly have the urge to hug you and shower you in kisses

being prince requires a lot of paper work, which he dislikes, when you're around he'll indulge himself in a few more breaks than he should, ending in him having to work overtime much to his dismay

"Will you stay up waiting for me at home?"

He knows it's a selfish thought, but he loves the feeling of coming home to you and getting greeted, he feels at peace when you're there and wait for him

"I'll never have to feel lonely again, when I have you!"

Barbatos:

as a butler time isn't something he has much of, so he some times feels like he can't give you enough, he'll try to meet as often as possible but often it's only for an hour or so a day

"Do you need anything else? More tea? Anything?"

He'll probably be stuck in his butler role and try to serve, completely disregarding himself, just grab him and make him sit down

Barb isn't used to physical touch and feels less comfortable to hold you in public, handholding is the maximum for him, he probably needs some time to get used to the more affectionate things

but when in private gentle touches, soft hugs and small kisses are his thing, just small reassuring stuff while you two relax and talk about daily life

he is more of a listener and he enjoys listening to your voice, it's one of his comfort things, hearing your voice means you're safe and that helps him keep calm a lot...he may not show it, but on the inside he is always worried for you living in between demons, he's on of them he knows how dangerous it can get

phone calls while he works happen more and more often as your relationship progresses, the need to see you gets stronger, but he can't just leave work, so you'll talk over the phone

"I missed you so I had to call. How is your day?"

night-time is his favourite, no work, no on watchers, just you two and your love for each other, if only it could be always like this

"One minute with you feels like eternal bliss, imagine our happiness if you'd stay with me forever!"

Solomon:

Solomon has watched many people die in his life, so he got used to not getting attached too much, falling in love with you wasn't planned, but he can't help feeling clingy with you now

he'd play it down, aloof as he always seems, but on the inside he is screaming at you to not go at the end of the day, just one more hug, one more kiss, maybe stay over the night?

he'd never say it out loud and every time he does say something affectionate something teasing or a 'just kidding' follows, scared he might seem too clingy

"You're my everything, without you I feel like I'm suffocating...just a joke I'm breathing fine, see?"

he's always touching you in some way, holding your hand, arm around your shoulder, his hand on your waist, back or knee, whatever he just wants to feel the warmth of your skin telling him you're still there

he has lived through so many human lifetimes and experienced so much, he's happy to share all the good stuff with you and show you the most wondersome places in all three realms

the bad stuff though he keeps to himself, guides you away and hopes you'll never experience it

"Hey! Surprise I was close by and I thought we could take a walk?"

Solomon loves spending his time with you in whatever way, just whisk him away to whatever activity you'd like, surprise dates are his favourite, he doesn't want to plan out his whole life

"Now is my favourite moment with you. Why? Because I'm with you!"

Simeon:

Simeon as an author has his way with words, being able to spin them just right so every moment will become perfect, but he's more used to writing than talking and he'll use that to his advantage

"Even in the darkest of nights, your beauty lightens the room!"

expect love letter, sweet notes and poems written by him, hidden your schoolwork, waiting for you on your desk in RAD, on your pillow at HoL, anywhere he can sneak them to he will

and trust me he'll get so happy when he finds out you kept every single one of his writings

he also loves cuddles but only in private, in public he'll restrain himself to simple handholding or guiding you through the streets with your arms linked together

he enjoys to spoil you with attention, doing whatever you want, often it leads to cooking where as Luke likes to join in too, long walks, reading sessions, late night movies and cuddles, or even just long conversations about everything and anything you two can think of

"My lamb, may you come over and help a poor author who has lost his inspiration to write?"

when he is stuck with his writings he likes to take a break with you and hold you tight in his arms listening to your suggestions until he feels inspired again, no pressure though he can keep writing any time he doesn't have to come up with something on the spot, just distracting him for a bit works too

"I may have found paradise in your arms tonight, do you think your heart may be so kind to let me stay?"

[seaweedinthebrain]

i have a lot of headcanons about characters becoming teachers after graduating hogwarts. like, it's probably my favourite "after the plot is over and the war is won and they're supposed to go live happily ever after" trope.

give me professor sprout retiring not because she's tired and actually needs to, but because she wants to open the position so neville longbottom can take over. give me him always forgetting to put on his teacher robes and just teaching all day in a too big jumper and a dirt stained overall. him being the deputy headmaster and the head of gryffindor house, so respected as a war hero and a herbology academic that first years get intimidated, only to be greeted before the sorting ceremony by this short and cuddly looking guy with a kind smile and encouraging words to ease their nerves. him giving the best introductory class at the start of term and asking each student about their favourite plant, making everyone feel welcomed and appreciated, letting them know that it's okay to struggle and to come to him for help.

give me harry giving up on becoming an auror because at this point he's done with action and just wants to settle down, so he takes the DADA position. him teaching in flannels and leather jackets and ripped jeans and converses, because he's not used to wizard robes and finds them uncomfortable. unlike neville, the students don't break their awe and nervousness about being taught by The harry potter instantly upon meeting him, because his horrible resting bitch face still makes him seem intimidating and too serious, so the anxious looks and amazed whispers only stop during his first class when he actually starts talking and smiling and joking. him making almost every class be practical, putting music on and pushing the furniture against the wall, because it's best to learn defense on your feet than just by reading the theory from a book. him being the teacher that is focused and gets the work done but makes the students have so much fun while doing it that they all groan when his class is over. him doing his best to help and make the kids feel safe when they come to him about personal problems, offering a piece of chocolate before they leave and saying "eat, you'll feel better".

give me mcgonnagal FINALLY convincing professor binns to cross over to the afterlife and let someone younger and less socially outdated have the position. so susan bones comes and becomes the head of hufflepuff house, makes the history of magic classes interesting, shows the students that it's an extremely important subject that doesn't deserve to be dismissed as "boring" just because someone couldn't do it right. instead of falling asleep by the first ten minutes, the kids spend the whole time on the edge of their seats, attention gripped by her storyteller way of explaining different events. her giving the students freedom to interact with the narrative, encouraging them to raise their hands and share their thoughts, ask questions, give examples, tell their stories or the stories of people they know. her promoting debates about important historical points and socially relevant issues. when it's time to talk about contemporary history and the first and second wizarding wars, give me her inviting friends and acquaintances to tell their own stories.

give me justin finch-fletchley being one of the first ever muggleborn teachers, personally invited by mcgonnagal to take the transfiguration position. him being the complete opposite of what you would expect from someone who teaches such a methodical and complicated subject, with his outgoing and bubbly nature. the students feeling at ease in his class because they know that if they don't understand at first, they can always ask him later and he will patiently explain again. him joking around the classroom to demonstrate the spells, making the students laugh so much their stomachs hurt. him saying that it's okay to not succeed at first, or ever, because in the end what matters is that you tried and your grades don't define you.

the older teachers not being used to having such young colleagues, specially considering they were still students just a few years before, and developing the habit of calling them "the youngsters". in turn, neville, harry, susan and justin taking years to stop feeling weird about calling their former teachers by their first names.

them gossiping with flitwick and trelawney over cups of tea in the teachers room in between classes.

them being introduced to the decades-ongoing betting pool about the students' love lives and getting excited to participate.

them joking with hagrid during lunch at the teachers table.

them actively refusing to turn a blind eye to bullying in the school, overlook prejudiced comments or dismiss the students' mental health, because it's fresh in their minds how harmful that can be.

the students waving at them when they walk by because they're comfortable doing so, knowing they're supposed to respect their teachers, but not fear them.

them respecting their students' learning particularities and disabilities, advocating for squibs to be able to attend hogwarts because most classes don't even require actual casting of spells anyway, it's only a matter of adjusting timetables so they don't have to take those.

harry finally having the peace and quiet he deserves, no more fighting or saving anyone. just a steady life of stressing over teenagers and sipping tea in his office.

neville being the person he needed when he was younger, making sure his students never feel stupid or ridiculed. praising each of their achievements, no matter how small, and reminding then constantly that they're not a disappointment and that he's proud.

susan breaking the image of the softie hufflepuff, being the most serious and strict teacher, second only to mcgonnagal herself. her sense of justice will have her give a student a month of detention for making fun of someone's appearance and everyone knows that if you're caught cheating at her test your marks are fucked.

justin being amazing at teaching one of the hardest magical subjects and shutting up all the blood supremacists who think muggleborns are less capable. he was underestimated for a while into the transfiguration position, the older staff thought his humor and unusual way of teaching would get the students nowhere in such a meticulous class, but they were proven wrong when kids who wouldn't have looked twice at the subject ended up falling in love with it because of him.

just. give me characters becoming young teachers. barely into their twenties having to teach 11 to 17 year olds, and absolutely loving it. being people the students can look up and relate to. bringing a fresher point of view to an environment that usually just seeks to punish kids instead of understanding them. YOUNG TEACHERS AT HOGWARTS. PLEASE AND THANK YOU FOR COMING TO MY TED TALK.

[purecantarella]

My Ball of Sunshine

my tags and posts are still blocked, but i hope that the people who see this still enjoy❣️also, BELATED TZUYU DAY! also, i live for clichés so leave me be HAHAHAHA highschool AU : nerdy!chou tzuyu x athletic!reader disclaimer : some hate speech and curses, just be wary and don't do this to other people.

Since you were a freshman, you were the school's golden student. Perfect grades, linebacker for the school team even a candidate for captain, running for team captain, healthy social life, and it helped that you were easy on the eyes for both men and women. Everyone wanted to either be you or be with you. There was no in between.

You were the sunshine of the entire school.

So it came to the surprise Chou Tzuyu, the resident quiet average student, when she caught your eye.

The both of you had gone to the same school since you were in elementary school. You'd always briefly passed one another while never actually acknowledging each other's existence. But even so, both your eyes were on each other when neither of your attention was on the other.

It had been one of those serendipitous moments. The rain had started coming down hard, cancelling your team's practice, when you'd formally met Tzuyu for the first time. You were driving home when you saw her fallen over, picking up her soaked textbooks, scratched up knee, dirtied uniform, and wiped away the tears that had had melded in with the rain the chilled her to the bone.

You pulled over hastily and got out the car to help your peer. You covered your head with your hand, squatting down to help her collect herself. Her eyes went wide seeing you of all people. You looked up at her surprised face, a laugh bubbling up through your chest as you picked up her books.

"Come on, let's get you out of the rain, yeah?" You offered, beckoning her to the car.

Once inside, safe from the rain. You reached into the back to grab one of the many hoodies that you had stashed there in case of emergencies. Carefully, you placed the jacked around her, brushing the wet hair from her face. A blush coated her usually pale features as you fussed over her.

When you were sure that she was at least relatively dry, you offered her your usual bright grin. Tzuyu's heart jumping at the sight of your warm smile. As for you, upon seeing her curious brown eyes, pink lips, and her soft and adorable aura, butterflies erupted in your stomach. You bit the inner layer of your cheek gently before saying, "Uh, hey, I'm Y/F/N."

A her lips quirked up into a fleeting but blush-educing smile. She shook her head. "Yeah, I know who you are." Tzuyu leaned back shyly, in attempts to hide the blossoming color that had begun to stain her cheeks. "I'm Chou Tzuyu."

From then on, it wasn't like you could ignore her any longer. The Taiwanese girl was in every one of your classes and even on some occasions you caught her eyeing you during lunch when before her friends giggled at her broken demeanour.

Not long after that, you gave into your desire and began courting her in secret. It was often that Tzuyu would find notes in her locker talking about how amazing she was or how you were happy to be there for her if ever you were needed. Of course the apex came when you were both partnered together for a project.

Like what was previously mentioned, it'd felt like serendipity.

"Chou!" You called, running down the busy school hall. The tall girl had looked back to you, the flutters in her stomach appearing at the sight of your familiar smile. "How about I drive you home again today? So we can work on the project today." You offered, the sparkle in your eye mirroring that of a pup seeing their favorite chew toy.

She tilted her head to the side curiously. "Don't you have practice today?" Tzuyu asked softly

Again, you chuckled softly. The aura around you remaining the warm and welcoming one that brought the other girl so much comfort. "As important as football is to me, I want to give time to other things that are valuable to me." Your teeth snagged your lower lip softly. Thinking for a moment. "That is, of course, if you'd want me to."

Tzuyu controlled the urge to coo at your adorable blushing face, the way your head tilted down in a way it never did usually. You were confident and it took a lot to faze you. So seeing the way you played with your fingers, shifted from side to side, the warmth from your aura had seeped so far into her chest. She could only nod, making your eyes light up like stars.

"Great! Here let me..." You trailed off, taking her books in your hand before leading her to your car in the lot. Catching the eye of almost all the by standing students. You walking some random girl out, holding her books, and most especially, driving away with her was a huge deal.

In a matter of hours, people were texting both of you non-stop, which did trouble Tzuyu a little but she couldn't dwell too much on that with you being a mere table away. Your eyes were dedicatedly trained on the laptop in front of you. Typing away, researching everything you needed for the project. A smile graced her lips, you really were the golden student everyone praised. As you craned your neck, seeking some relief from the tension, your eyes landed on the tall girl startled and her gaze shooting back down to the references before her.

You made an attempt to conceal your smile as you stood up to sit beside her. Wordlessly continuing your work. After a while, both of you gradually scooted each of your seats closer to the other until both your hands were flushed against one another. Tentatively, you moved your hand slowly to intertwine your fingers with hers.

Tzuyu honestly had no complaints, she sat there, reading the same page over and over again. Her focus long gone from the books in front of her. Then again, the soft tapping from your side had ceased a little bit ago as well.

The two of you just sat there, feeling the warmth of each other's hands. Letting the memory mark in your minds. Not long after that your mom had called, prompting you to come home. Tzuyu didn't hesitate to walk you to your car.

"I'll see you tomorrow then?" You asked, opening the car door slightly, your bag lazily slung over your shoulder. She nodded, a wide smile gracing her lips. You mirrored the smile and fully swung the door open. She stood there, silently waiting for you to say something more while you hesitantly entered the vehicle. The tall girl disappointedly and slowly made her way to their house door.

Your vision lingered on your classmate before you thought, 'fuck it.' Your fingers thumped the wheel briefly before you rolled down your window. "Hey Tzuyu?" You called as she whipped back to face you hastily. You bit back the smile that had wanted to erupt onto your lips. "Would you, uh, maybe be okay for me to pick you up before school tomorrow? We get some coffee and get to know each other?" You asked, your head sticking out the window.

The smile on her face returned, eyes turning to crescents before she nodded enthusiastically. "I would love to, Y/n." Your blood rushed at the sound of her voice saying your name. You bit your lower lip before nodding and driving away, leaving the tall girl to place a hand on her forehead. Her cheeks hurting from the growing smile on her face. Meanwhile you your gaze flicked from her form in the rear view to the street, your lip caught under your teeth.

"Oh sweet Lord." You whispered to yourself, running a hand through your hair.

The next morning you stood there nervously tapping at your bag quietly. The cold morning air blew against you and made you shudder despite the thick varsity jacket that you had draped over your shoulders. You were spacing out, listing out the potential things that could go wrong.

A door quickly opening and closing snapped you out of your daze. You looked up and saw the Taiwanese beauty in all her glory. You could tell that there was a little more effort in the light make-up she usually had on but you didn't mind. You pushed yourself off of your car to help her once again with her books.

"Good morning, miss Chou!" You greeted her with a small yet still gleaming smile. She responded with a soft, "Hello." To which the grin on your face grew into a toothy one. You moved to open the car door for her before placing her belongings carefully in the back.

She quirked a curious brow upon seeing your clean backseat. "No piles of hoodies this time?" You laughed softly eyeing the now free space. "That day was an exception. Had I known I would pick you up that day, it would have been clean." You said making her giggle softly.

"Sure," She said rolling her eyes and leaning into the seat.

You looked at her ensemble. It was the school's standard uniform but you noted that she had no way to cover herself from the draft that circled the South Korean air. You slipped off the jacket that you wore and offered it to her. Her brown eyes went wide as she stared at it.

"It's not a big deal, I promise. It's just that it's extra chilly today and I don't want you to get cold." You explained quickly, hand still out waiting for her to take the school jacket. Tzuyu took it quietly before pulling it around herself, savouring your earthy scent that lingered on the fabric.

"Let's go?" You asked before starting the car and pulling out of the driveway.

After you'd gotten some coffee, you'd realized there was little to no time for you two to sit and chat. So you decided to get to school and hang out during lunch. You pulled up and helped her out of the car. Both of you could feel eyes on you both the moment you walked out. Not only did you both exit the same car together, but she was clad in the jacket with your last name embroidered on the back.

She shied away from the glances of the other students. Seeing her unease, you took her free hand in yours. "You're fine...Okay? I've got you." You assured her quietly before she offered you a shy smile.

Once her books were in hand you both made your way into the school, hands still tightly intertwined together. Her locker was already swarmed with jealous girls and cocky looking jocks that you didn't particularly like too much off of the field.

"Y/n!" One of the jocks called, a dumb smile on his face as he eyed Tzuyu. You maintained your composure and gave him a warm smile. "Hey, what's up?" You greeted meekly in attempts to keep the interaction short.

"Just didn't know you were with Chou Tzuyu." He paused to whisper in your ear. "Fine piece of ass don't you think." Your jaw immediately clenched at his crude words. You felt the shorter girl beside you flinch only doubling your anger yet your expression still stayed the bright and cheery one.

There was no need to get involved with any drama.

"We aren't together, man. I invited her to coffee 'cause I wanted to get to know her better." You tightened your smile. "No fuss in that right?" Tzuyu looked up at you, seeking some form of safety from the jocks and mean girls who surrounded her locker. You glanced down at her, trying to bring her some comfort.

"You could do better if you'd ask me, Y/n..." A snarky girl said, checking her nails. With her words, Tzuyu shrunk under everyone's gaze. Even yours. That's when your gaze shot to the girl who'd spoken. The aura around you immediately changed. The hallway went quiet as they saw your expression darken. Once warm and welcoming eyes turned hard and bore holes into the shocked girl's.

You pondered for a moment, releasing Tzuyu's hand briefly to shove your hand in your pocket. Your stance adjusting so you towered over all of the student's. "But I didn't ask you did I?" You sneered at her.

"What I do or who I hang out with is none of your business. In all honesty, I don't even know any of you all that well." You looked around. "But you have no right to speak to anyone, much more her, that way and if you think that I'll take all of this lying down, you've got another thing coming. You've got me coming for you." You said lowly but it resonated in their ears.

"Do I make myself clear?" You asked, your expression cold and unnerving.

Everyone nodded and dispersed at the loud ring of the bell. Once everyone had left, your shoulders fell as well as a held breath released. You turned back to a stunned Tzuyu. Your expression softened as you saw her still petrified.

"I'm sorry about them...and about that whole scene." You said softly, almost remorsefully. The silence hung over you both. While she was surprised you had that side to you, she couldn't help but feel giddy that it was because of her that that side came out at all.

Tzuyu offered you a small smile before leaning up to peck your cheek quickly. "Thank you for trying to defend me." A heat rushed up to your cheeks before you cleared your throat awkwardly. "Uh, can I walk you to class?"

She wordlessly took your hand and leaned into your touch. Your ears pricked up at the action and you both made your way to her first class.

'This is going to be different than I thought...' She thought to herself as she looked up at the little ball of sunshine that was you.

okay this was kinda messy but bare with me HAHAHAHAHA in any case though, i hope you all enjoyed this! again, this wasn't my best but after every revision this went though this was one of the best. i'm working through some stuff HAHAAHH anyway, requests are open and criticism and opinions on my work are completely accepted. i think some of my functions are working as early as when i post this but my tags i believe are still broken. uh anyway, keep safe everyone and i will see all of you very soon 💖 taglist: @labrachrosite

[scuttle-buttle]

Chapter 9

WC: 1196

Rated: E

Chapter Tags: fluff?, mentions of physical disability & self consciousness, mentions of substance use

A/N: Wavy Gravy is the raddest man. I love him.

🧠

The room was beyond crowded as you stood next to Dr. Kreizler. Bitsy really wasn’t joking when she told you how chaotic these conferences get. You had already sat through one reading with him that morning. It was interesting enough.

“And you must be the famous TA Laszlo has told us all about!” came a rich bellow from behind you. You whipped around to face the man, a good head taller than you. He wore a bright smile which was so in contrast to the face of the doctor.

“Oh…?” you go to shake his proffered hand.

“John Schuyler Moore, photojournalism professor and friend of our dear alienist.”

“Oh! Yes, Dr. Moore,” nodding your head a little, you notice a much shorter blonde woman stroll up beside him. “Please, just John is fine,” he insists.

“Don’t give the poor girl a heart attack, John. Sara Howard, it’s nice to finally meet you.” You shake hands as well. She is petite, but right away you can sense a strength and poise about her. “Laszlo has told us a great deal about you.”

You glance at the man from the corner of your eye. He is giving Sara a stern look. “I see. I wasn’t aware he spoke of me.”

“He sings your praises on the regular,” she laughs.

An awkward grunt makes its way up your throat at her comment. He’s told you that your work was ‘satisfactory’ but there was no way he would go so far as to talk about you with his friends and colleagues. You figure the two are just being friendly.

“Laszlo, if I may,” John signals to another part of the room for the doctor to follow. With a nod the two men go off, leaving you with Dr. Howard.

She moves in to stand closer to your side. “I hope he’s been treating you well, Laszlo is not the easiest to deal with at times. He pays no mind to what is considered polite conversation etiquette.” At your blanching she adds “you can speak freely with me about it. He can be an ass, I’m the first to admit and call him out on it.” She smiles at you.

“Dr. Howard I’m-”

“Oh no please, call me Sara. We aren’t so far apart in age and you’re a graduate student. There is no need for formal titles.” The two of you chat for almost half an hour, mostly on the topic of the doctor before the men rejoin you. You don't speak as you would with Bitsy, but you find it very easy to trust and confide in Sara. John looks rather pleased with himself upon his return. You do catch the slight wink he gives Sara. Dr. Kreizler, on the other hand, appears as though he’s been told he needs a root canal.

The four of you spend the next couple hours perusing the new selections and attending a few of the reading demonstrations. John is almost like a dog, you think, overly friendly and does his best to include you in the conversations the trio have. Sara communicates with you through her facial expressions and eye rolls at the men. You are certain you even hear the doctor crack a joke or two. You carry the tote bag of books that Kreizler has purchased, despite John repeatedly attempting to assist. It’s good that the doctor has people like them, you think.

Sara and John eventually excused themselves for the night. Around 8pm the doctor turns to you. “There is a reading on a new monograph about Woodstock that starts in fifteen minutes. I have put our names on the list.”

You blink at him. “Woodstock. Like sex, drugs, and rock & roll, Woodstock '69, Woodstock?”

“Is there another?” He lifts his brows in exasperation as he considers you.

“No? Doesn’t sound like something you’d be into, though,” you argue lightly.

“Not particularly. But I thought you would find it useful towards your own studies. I know you are fond of it.”

A faint flutter broke out in your gut at his words. Never in your life had you thought this man would care enough to think of you and your own interests, especially not when this trip was for his own benefit. You had assumed you would need to beg to be let off for a few hours to seek out the history and sociology seminars. Time had frozen as you stared at him.

Maybe he did care?

“Are you alright?” he finally asked, concerned.

“Hm? Oh yeah, I’m fine. That sounds really great, thank you.”

Dr. Kreizler guides you to the proper hall and you find your seats. The space was more cramped than you were overall comfortable with. Or rather, you were uncomfortable due to the proximity in which you and the professor sat. At least that is what you told yourself.

The room was packed, chairs placed tightly together. You sat to his right side. It was close enough that you could smell the cologne he wore; something spicy and citrusy and intoxicating. Barely a hair's breadth separated you from each other. He was warm against you. Often your thighs would touch, or even his weaker arm along your own. You could just feel the boney limb through your sleeves, which often hid how skinny it truly was compared to his left side. If it bothered him he gave no indication.

Midway through you lean close to his ear. “You know, the whole concept shouldn’t have worked. It was fucked from the get go. They literally had everything working against them, the rain, the traffic, the lack of sanitation, food. Wavy Gravy and his posse really made all the difference. When things got rough he was able to use psychoanalysis techniques to encourage the new social ideals of free love and the 'cooperative', reminding everyone why they were there in the first place. He appealed to the collective psyche of the counterculture movement. The whole thing is insane!”

You don’t notice how close you had gotten to him as you spoke, your chest was nearly pressed against his shoulder. At first you touching along his bad arm made him want to instinctually pull away. As you spoke you were still facing the stage, paying no mind to the feel of it. It quelled his anxiety that you didn't seem to care. So Laszlo had tilted his head closer towards you as you whispered. He found that your eyes were lit up similar to when you would argue with him. But this time it wasn’t because you were annoyed at him - this time it was because you were passionate and excited - and it was breathtaking.

You face him when he doesn't respond; only a few inches separate you. His eyes lock with your own. A beat passes and he doesn't look away. "What?" you ask. Maybe you had offended him by speaking during the lecture?

Laszlo gathers himself. "It seems you have been paying attention during my lectures.” He smirks.

You face back forward in hopes that he doesn’t see the heat in your cheeks. “Don’t flatter yourself too much, professor.” You can feel his silent chuckle.

Tag list

@hardlyinteresting @lorna-d-m @livvyshmiv @somethingthatsaysbubbles @greeneyedblondie44 @unbeatablecurlgirl @apparrio @marchingicenotes7 @anteroom-of-death @bruhidaniel @lemairepstuff @thehuiabird @zemosimp05 @alindeluce @iamnotthecatladynextdoor @laura-naruto-fan1998 @trelaney @boneheadduluc @i-am-dead-inside-666 @fictionlandslanddreams

[just-come-baek]

body rhythm

Pairing: Taeyong x reader | mentions of Seulgi x Irene | mentions of Johnny x almost everybody

Themes: smut | fluff | dance!au 

Word count: 14.8k

Summary: Taeyong and Seulgi participate in a nationwide dance competition. However, due to unfortunate scheduling, she has to drop out of it, suggesting you, out of all people, fill in. Taeyong isn't pleased with how things manage to fall out of place, but he is in no position to be whiny about it. For him, it's either learn to work with you or lose yet another time to his arch-enemy.

Warnings: a moderate amount of fluff | Johnny flirting with everybody in plain sight | Johnny stalks people out on social media | cursing | Doyoung being a huge dick | Doyoung flexing his hips | reader has inappropriate thoughts about Taeil | Taeyong being very demanding dance teacher | stressfull situations | drinking | reader is kind of bratty and Taeyong finds it really frustrating | frustrated/angry making out | as per smut | oral!female receiving | unprotected sex (never try it at home or else Imma tell your parents) | they kinda fuck in the open and kinda check our their refection in the mirror |

A/N it's my entry for song association event, I hope you like it, and also don't forget to check out other entries ^^ they must be all out by now lol

“Are you ready?” Johnny inquired as he set his fourth coffee of the day on his desk and plopped onto the swivel chair in a cubicle next to mine. It was a really long day at work, and we both had trouble sitting through the end of it. Heaving a deep sigh, I looked at the pile of documents that required my attention, groaning before I sprawled across my workspace.

“I thought it’s canceled tonight,” I spoke as I looked at my wristwatch, wincing when I realized there was still one more hour until Johnny and I could finally clock out.

A few months ago, our lovely firm, instead of giving us a well-deserved raise, had decided to provide us with a variety of extra activities. Though I’d rather get some monetary benefits, together with Johnny, we chose dance classes. Our company was paying for it, so we might’ve as well attended.

Ever since then, every Thursday, we would go to a dance class to sweat out all of the pent-up frustration. I didn’t have plenty of expectations, still bitter after the company’s decision, but the dance class turned out amazing. Seulgi was our teacher, and although she was a bit demanding, she was patient enough to teach us some sick moves. If that didn’t scream talent™, I had no idea what did.

“Well… last week, she said she might be absent today, but I got a text from school that someone will fill in,” Johnny spoke matter-of-factly. I sighed, checking my phone, reading the same text message from the studio. I really didn’t have energy for dance classes, but there was no way Johnny would let me skip.

“Do you want to grab a drink after? I think I need one, or a few,” I proposed as I sat back in my chair, trying to let my eyes rest from the computer’s screen.

“Does a bear shit in the woods?” Johnny asked rhetorically, smiling at me as if I just read his mind. It was almost Friday at this point, and we deserved a little treat.

Though it felt like an eternity, the clock finally struck 5 p.m., letting us leave our claustrophobic cubicles. Tomorrow we would come back for another dose of torture, but right now, we were free. Only for a few hours, though.

Quickly, I returned home to get my gym bag. Thankfully, I lived within walking distance from both – my office and the dance studio, so it wasn’t as troublesome to commute as it was for Johnny, who got stuck in traffic almost every day.

A few minutes before the dance class, I was already changed into my gym attire, waiting for Johnny. Though no one was texting me, I stared at my phone, furiously typing away. Moon Taeil, also known as my secret crush, was leaning against the wall on the other side of the corridor, and I tried every single trick my mind could come up with not to look desperate.

“At this point, he must think you hate him,” Johnny commented as he conjured in front of me out of nowhere. “You should hit on him instead of trying to bolt every time he approaches you,” he added, and I rolled my eyes at his yet another one shitty advice.

“Can you remind me why I don’t take dating advice from you?”

“Why are you attacking me? I just wanted to help. There’s no need to get so aggressive,” Johnny defended his case, not really answering my question. Johnny was a self-proclaimed love expert, but to me, he was more of a pathological playboy. Either way, he seemed to understand the secrets of flirtation to pick up girls whenever he set his mind to it.

“I am just trying not to be obvious,” I commented, stealing a glance at Taeil. It was a silly crush, and though Johnny encouraged me to go for it, I never decided to act on my feelings. Taeil probably didn’t feel this way about me, so remaining idle actually saved me embarrassment after an inevitable rejection.

“Speaking of which, I figured out why Seulgi is so resistant to my charms,” Johnny announced proudly, and I raised my eyebrow, waiting for the big reveal. Everybody in our group knew that Johnny was attracted to Seulgi, but every time he tried to approach her, she would brush him off.

“By figured out, you mean you stalked her, right?” I commented when Johnny handed me his phone, showing me Seulgi’s profile. According to what Johnny dug out in social media, Seulgi was getting married to Irene – her girlfriend of five years. “Huh,” I mused as I gave him back his phone, trying not to laugh at him. Seulgi was already madly in love with someone else, no wonder she could resist his charm.

“Call it whatever you want,” Johnny started, putting his phone away. “Just don’t hold me down when FBI finally recruits me for my impeccable detective skills,” he argued, and I laughed as I imagined him leaving our lovely company. That would be a shame; I couldn’t imagine anyone else sitting in the cubicle next to mine.

“The room should be open,” someone hollered, mentioning for us to open the doors and get inside. I had seen him a few times around the school, so I deduced he must’ve been our substitute teacher today.

Once everybody took their spot on the dance floor, the man cleared his throat. “Hello everybody, my name is Taeyong. Together with Seulgi, we run this school, and I hope we will have a lot of fun today with new choreography,” he announced politely with a practiced professionalism. Perhaps Taeyong didn’t seem as cool as Seulgi, but we had to give him a chance to prove us wrong.

Taeyong was intimidating. I wouldn’t want to be left alone with him. When he showed us a few moves, he was immensely focused on delivering one hundred percent. It was impressive and admirable, but at the same, Taeyong gave off a scary fierce aura. Though he was a great dancer and teacher, Seulgi was just better.

“I think I have a heart attack,” I panted, gasping for air. The new choreography required lots of jumping, and I didn’t expect so much cardio today. I wasn’t out of shape; however, after dancing to Taeyong’s choreography, I had some doubts.

“We should’ve skipped,” Johnny commented, bending over with his palms on his knees, supporting his huge body. Taeyong’s dance routine was too much for us, and we weren’t the only people struggling to breathe. Thankfully, next week Seulgi would be back.

***

“You’re not gonna believe this,” Johnny announced, craning his neck to look inside my cubicle. Heaving a sigh, I put my pen down, giving him my full attention.

This better be good.

“What is it? Who are you stalking this time?” I inquired, giving him the attitude. Johnny was spending too much time on his phone during working hours, but I couldn’t really frown upon it because I often caught myself doing the same thing.

“First of all, I thought we agreed to call it researching, not stalking,” Johnny clarified, and I rolled my eyes. “And second of all, it’s Seulgi. She and the other guy from the dance studio qualified for some dance competition. Check this out,” Johnny explained, handing me his phone.

Seulgi and Taeyong rocked the stage. Though I had nothing to compare their performance to, they just oozed charisma, uniqueness, nerve, and talent. Without any shred of doubt, they would make it to the grand finale.

“Wow,” I mused, not sure how to appropriately respond. I was happy for their success; after all, their performance was broadcasted during prime time on national television. At this point, Seulgi and Taeyong were celebrities.

“I can’t wait for today’s class,” Johnny added in excitement, hiding his phone away inside the pocket of his jacket. “I have to congratulate her.”

“Them. You have to congratulate them,” I corrected Johnny as he seemed to forget about Seulgi’s dance partner. It wasn’t a solo competition, so both Seulgi and Taeyong deserved praise. “And as if you’ve forgotten, Seulgi is not and will never be interested in you. You gotta let this one go, man,” I added, hoping Johnny would stop his relentless flirting with Seulgi. Though it was funny at the beginning, it was evident Seulgi would appreciate it if he stopped.

“I am all over her. Trust me,” Johnny reassured me, and I let out a shallow sigh, wanting to believe him. “Do you know Wendy from the HR department? I think I’m gonna ask her out. I am all over Seulgi,” he added, and it actually convinced me. Although Johnny didn’t seek anything serious at this point in his life, and when something didn’t go according to his plan, he would shake it off and forget all about it.

“Ok, I believe you,” I said, giving him a genuine smile. “Oh, and I was thinking… how about some beer and chicken after dance classes today? I’ve been craving them the whole day,” I offered, and Johnny enthusiastically nodded. It did sound like a solid plan.

Thankfully, this week Seulgi was back, and everybody appreciated it. Taeyong was a great teacher, but we were a group of beginners, and it was difficult for us to follow his routine. We just weren’t ready for such complex choreography.

Everybody had so much fun today. At first, we practiced some old routines, working on synchronization. Later on, Seulgi taught us a few new moves, which I recognized from her television performance. Admittedly, they weren’t as difficult as they looked. Maybe it was a little bold of me, but I was thinking I was doing a pretty good job today.

At the very end of the class, Johnny delivered a dramatic congratulatory speech, making people laugh out of utter cringe. It was a nice gesture, and Seulgi’s embarrassment was adorable. She would cover her blushed cheeks and turn around, hoping the ground could swallow her up. In all honesty, it seemed to be the only way to shut up Johnny.

Just when we were about to be dismissed, I heard someone calling my name. Surprisingly, it was Seulgi. She must’ve wanted to discuss something with me. Damn it, was she going to scold me for not improving? Or was it because I sat half of the song out? I just needed a short break; I had no idea it would get me in trouble.

“I am sorry,” I apologized even though I wasn’t sure what for yet. Seulgi would enlighten me in a second, so I cleared my throat to apologize to her once again. However, when she giggled instead of yelling at me, I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion.

“I’ll wait for you outside,” Johnny hollered before he strolled out of the practice room.

“Am I in trouble?” I asked, and Seulgi smiled, shaking her head.

Great, it was a relief.

“Actually, I may sound crazy to you,” she started, fidgeting a little. It was strange, Seulgi was a strong and confident woman, but right now, she seemed rather bashful. “Would you like to participate in a dance competition?”

Her question took me aback.

“What?” I asked, trying to wrap my head around the topic.

“Let me explain,” she offered, and I reluctantly nodded.

By the look on her face, I could tell it wasn’t going to be a quick chit-chat. Seulgi had a lot of things to explain, so we decided to sit on the floor before she began her speech.

Patiently, I listened to everything she wanted to tell me.

Seulgi and Taeyong wanted to participate in a dance competition ever since they had decided to open up a dance school together. Last week they really thought they were going to achieve their dream. Unfortunately, as soon as they qualified and received the schedule, complications started to follow.

Maybe it was a little bit overconfident of them to think they’d make it to the finals, but it still made them anxious. Regardless of their talent, they wouldn’t be able to perform in the grand finale. Apparently, on the very same day, Seulgi was getting married.

At first, I wanted to interject that they could reschedule, but Seulgi beat me to it.

“It would be the third time we reschedule it, and I just can’t let that happen. I don’t want Irene to think I prioritize dancing over her. She means the world to me, and I’d quit a thousand times to get married to her,” Seulgi confessed, and I tried my best to contain my feels. There was something raw and pure about Seulgi’s love, and it moved me.

Seulgi’s proposition was genius in its simplicity. Together with Taeyong, she would perform, climbing up the rankings. And if by any chance, they would make it to the final round; she wanted me to fill in. Given I had been dancing at their studio for about four months I couldn’t comprehend why she chose me.

I was a rookie, for crying out loud!

Finding a substitute dancer made a lot of sense, actually. Instead of dropping out, they could find a replacement. This way, Taeyong could still make his dream come true. And next year, together with Seulgi, they could try to defend the title.

However, once again, Seulgi read my mind and answered my question before I voiced my doubts. She must’ve really thought this through before approaching me. It seemed she had rehearsed all possible inquires and came up with perfect answers.

“All of our dancer friends either compete against us or failed during qualifications,” she declared, and I hummed in response. “Unfortunately, people who already attempted joining can’t fill in for other dancers.”

“That sucks,” I commented, and Seulgi dryly chuckled.

“I think you would be a perfect fit,” she started, and I held my breath, wanting to hear what made her think I’d be able to rise to the challenge. “Everybody can memorize moves, but you have a natural passion for dancing. I can see it in class. Maybe you can’t see it yet because dancing is a hobby to you more than anything else, but I can tell you have the it™ factor.”

I was speechless. Seulgi, the dance prodigy, was praising my dancing skills. I couldn’t believe my ears. What kind of self-indulgent dream was it? Why couldn’t I dream like a normal person? I had tendency to toot my own horn sometimes, but it was just too much.

“I bet with proper training, you and Taeyong could win.”

“Let me think about it, okay?”

“Sure, of course! No pressure!” Seulgi replied enthusiastically, giving me enough space to clear my mind and think about it.

“See you next week.” I waved at her, exiting the dance room. Absentmindedly, I changed out of the gym clothes and walked out of the building, almost walking past Johnny.

“Hey, what did Seulgi want?” Johnny asked, grabbing my wrist, pulling me out of trance.

“She wants me to dance in her place if she and Taeyong ever make it to the finals.”

“What?!”

 ***

At first, I was hesitant about this whole thing. I wasn’t a professional dancer, and I really didn’t want to contribute to them losing the competition. However, Seulgi really made a point that they would have to drop out anyway, so in some twisted way, my participation gave them a slimmer of hope for victory.

Once I explained everything to Johnny, he really insisted I should help them out, spitting nonsense about fame and recognition and how I couldn’t doubt myself and just go with the flow. Opportunities like this rarely occurred, and I ought to welcome them with excitement.

So I did.

Every Saturday and Sunday, I dropped by the dance studio for practice. Taeyong still intimidated me, but I could deal with it. Seulgi was always around me to nag him whenever he demanded too much from me. They balanced each other very well, and it was fun working with them. Even though each practice left me with sore muscled, I was still excited. It was tangible proof I was improving.

Seulgi and Taeyong smoothly went through the contest, winning each battle with ease, slowly climbing in the ranking. There was still plenty of work until the grand finale, but everything looked they were to make it to the very top.

Unfortunately, the closer to the D-day, the less time Seulgi had to help us during practice. With her wedding coming up, she had a lot of preparations to deal with. As a result, Taeyong and I had to practice the dance routine on our own.

“No, you’re doing it all wrong,” Taeyong yelled in irritation when for the nth time, I turned to my right instead of my left. “Do it again; five, six, seven, eight,” he added, playing the song from the very beginning.

To say I was frustrated was an understatement of the century. I was aware that Taeyong really wanted to win the competition, but he didn’t have to be a dick about it. With no Seulgi to supervise him, he was unbearable.

“I think I need a break,” I declared once I turned to the wrong side again before Taeyong managed to scold me for it. Even though he shouted something again, I ignored it. With a deep sigh, I walked over to my gym bag to get my water bottle.

“What do you think you’re doing?” Taeyong asked, staring down at me with his arms folded across his chest, his demeanor dominant. His eyes were drilling holes in my head, his jaw was tightened – it was evident I was driving him up the wall. It was just a matter of seconds before Taeyong would snap, lashing out at me.

“I am taking a break,” I answered quickly, ignoring his angry stare. I was at my limit. If Taeyong didn’t back off, it would be the end of the practice for today. One more mean word and I’d storm out of the studio. I was here voluntarily. I was doing him a favor, and I didn’t deserve this type of treatment.

“Is it a joke to you?” Taeyong carried on, and I rolled my eyes. Of course, it wasn’t a joke to me. But at the same time, I was sick and tired of his shenanigans. I wanted him to win, but not when my mental health was on the line. He was pissing me off, and I wouldn’t let him walk all over me. “I thought you decided to help us out, but you’re not trying at all.”

He did not just say that.

“What?” I rhetorically asked, standing up, poking his chest with my forefinger. “I am trying my best here. You’re the one who makes it impossible to have fun dancing. You’re making it a chore, sucking all the fun out it.”

“Then tell me what I should do for you to finally make some progress? We’ve been stuck at this part for two weeks, and you still haven’t learned how to turn right!”

“Then go ahead and find someone else who can put up with your shit. I’m out,” I spoke, bending down to pick up my stuff, ready to leave the studio. Unfortunately, before I managed to exit the practice room, the doors opened, and Seulgi walked in with a confused expression on her face.

“Hey, what’s going on here?” She asked in worry, trying to put two and two together. It wouldn’t be the first time Taeyong and I argued, but it seemed to be the most intense one so far. It didn’t sit right with her. “Please don’t tell me you fought again.”

Briefly, I summarized what happened, and Seulgi looked down at Taeyong disapprovingly. I was glad Seulgi took my side; after all, she knew Taeyong could be too demanding.

“I am a dancer, but why does it feel I am a couple counselor? You two really have to learn how to work together when I’m not around,” she scolded us, making her point. If this whole arrangement was to work out, we both needed to establish some ground rules and learn how to put our differences aside. “I have an idea.”

Oh, no.

There was something mischievous in her tone, and I didn’t particularly like it.

“Let’s finish for today,” she proposed, and I smiled, thinking it was a great idea. Taeyong and I needed some time to chill, and calling it a day seemed like an appropriate way to do it. “Let’s go out clubbing instead!” Seulgi added cheerfully, clapping her hands in excitement.

“What?” Taeyong and I asked in unison, a bit surprised by Seulgi’s statement.

“That’s my prescription for the two of you,” she started, and I rolled my eyes. Taeyong and I didn’t get along as well as she wished for us to, but it wasn’t that bad. We didn’t need to bond over a few drinks in a crowded club. We would do just fine if Taeyong learned to go easy on me. “I believe we all can benefit from clubbing.”

“How come?”

“First of all, it will remind Taeyong that dancing is about fun, not overworking oneself,” Seulgi spoke, and I hummed, agreeing with her. “Second of all, it’ll give you a chance to loosen up. Your moves are still a bit stiff during intimate parts of the choreography,” she added, and Taeyong nodded in agreement. “And I really need something to drink because wedding planning is stressful as fuck.”

Not even thirty minutes later, we were inside the club.

“It’s a very sensual song. And you two really have to work hard to convey emotions through your dance,” Seulgi started as she sipped her tropical cocktail. “You must feel comfortable around each other and just ooze longing and sexual attraction,” she added, and I almost choked on my drink.

Performing with Taeyong was going to be more difficult than I had anticipated. When Seulgi and Taeyong showed me the choreography, I was amazed. Absolutely blown away. The way their bodies moved in synchronization left me speechless, but at the same time, I was a little bit nervous because I didn’t see myself living up to their level.

I wouldn’t consider myself particularly sexy. It made me feel awkward when I thought how seductive the dance routine actually was. I wasn’t sure I could pull this off, but Taeyong still had a lot of time to teach me.

“Take her to the dance floor,” Seulgi elbowed Taeyong, almost spilling his drink. Unenthusiastically, Taeyong looked at me before standing up and extending his arm.

Drunken people were jumping around us to the rhythm, and I awkwardly swayed from side to side, staring at Taeyong. With godlike precision, he moved, getting lost in the music. One could tell straight away Taeyong was a professional dancer.

Upon noticing how stiff I was, Taeyong shook his head, yanking me against his lean body. “How about you take a five-minute break to get that stick out of your ass? You look like you have no joints,” he yelled into my ear, his breath tickling my sensitive skin.

“I’ve had too little alcohol,” I replied, but Taeyong wasn’t having it.

“When we perform on the stage, will you need alcohol to let loose too?” Taeyong challenged with a playful smirk, and I rolled my eyes, too prideful to admit he was right. I couldn’t participate in that competition drunk. We wouldn’t win if I wasn’t able to come out of my shell and show everybody I had a sensual bone in my body.

“No,” I yelled into Taeyong’s ear. “How do I let loose?” I asked, hoping to hear some words of wisdom from him.

“Mirror what I’m doing,” Taeyong guided, and I nodded, focused on my new task. I could do that. I had been mirroring Seulgi’s movements during our classes, and I was pretty good at doing it. I could copy Taeyong’s moves.

At first, Taeyong danced a few classic moves we usually did during our warm-up routine. It was easy, and I think I nailed it. Later, he wiggled his upper body, feeling the rhythm. With envy, I observed how his body executed every single move, owning it. I wish I was half as good as Taeyong. Next to him, I probably looked like a crippled kid.

Upon noticing my struggle, Taeyong began jumping around, throwing his hands in the air. He looked ridiculous, but I remained focused on my task, dancing as if I was his shadow. Our bizarre moves earned some attention from other people, but our eyes were trained on each other, slowly getting lost in our own bubble.

I was sober, and I was on my way to owning the dance floor. I couldn’t believe it was happening. Maybe Taeyong’s charisma overshadowed my poor attempts of showcasing mine; however, I was sure I made a big step in the right direction. Slowly, I was improving.

“How about we spice it up a little bit?” Taeyong shouted into my ear, and I cocked up my eyebrow, thinking what he meant by that. “Don’t be shy,” he added, yanking me against his body. Taeyong was so close I could feel his legs rub against mine. “Come on, sweetheart. Touch me, tease me, feel me up,” Taeyong snickered, getting on my nerves. Not only Taeyong was smug for no reason, but he also quoted the song, which I was slowly growing to hate.

Taeyong must’ve assumed I’d back out. Surely, he didn’t expect me to follow his instructions and actually run my hands across his chest, shoulders, and back while simultaneously swaying my hips, earning approving stares from impressed men on the dance floor. At first, he was surprised he talked me into it, but a second later, he smirked, resting his palms on my sides, slowly exploring the valley of my butt.

I had no idea I had it in me, but Taeyong helped me discover it. We were basically grinding against each other, and it somehow didn’t feel awkward at all. We were just two people having fun.

“I’m sorry I was so harsh on you,” Taeyong apologized, shouting in my ear. “I’m just stressful all the time, and I think I may sometimes take it out on you,” he added, and I looked at his face, which was dangerously close to mine.

“It’s understandable,” I replied as I wrapped my arms around Taeyong’s neck, finding it much more comfortable. Now with our bodies pressed together, it was easier to have a conversation. “I know how much you want to win this competition. I’ll try harder,” I promised, and Taeyong released a relieved chuckle.

Who would’ve thought an adult conversation would work better than shouting at each other?

“Thank you,” Taeyong spoke genuinely, and I pulled away, staring at his face. His eyes were trained on mine. No matter how many hours we had spent at the dance studio, his gaze still intimidated me sometimes.

“Ekhm, I need a break,” I said in a desperate need to break eye contact with him. The dance floor was crowded, and it was making me dizzy. I was getting dangerously hot, and it seemed like heaven to get back to our booth and finish our drinks.

“Of course, you need a break,” Taeyong teased, sending me a lopsided smirk. “It’s okay, though. We still have plenty of time to work on your stamina,” he added as he grabbed my hand, leading me out of the crowd. Carefully, we zigzagged around drunken people, trying to make it safely to Seulgi.

Unfortunately, by the bar counter, someone walked into Taeyong, almost knocking him down.

“I’m very sorry,” a man shouted, but I could sense the words weren’t genuine.

“Doyoung,” Taeyong spoke, gritting his teeth, staring at the other man. Taeyong’s grip tightened around my hand. I figured he didn’t particularly like Doyoung.

“Taeyong,” Doyoung sighed, checking Taeyong out from head to toe before his gaze shifted to me. There was something spiteful about his lingering eyes, but I couldn’t pinpoint it. For sure, there was some bad blood between two men, and I suddenly felt an urge to know more. Inquisitiveness got the best of me.

Taeyong and Doyoung kept glaring at each other almost as if it was a competition. The tension was so intense one could cut it with a knife. I cleared my throat in a poor attempt to break their stare contest, but they didn’t even acknowledge my presence.

“I saw your last performance,” Doyoung finally spoke, scoffing. “You’re getting out of it, and here I expected to kick your ass in the finale. I wouldn’t be surprised if you and your partner got eliminated next week.”

I thought I had seen Taeyong furious, but right now, I was proven wrong. The way he looked at me whenever I was a handful during our practice was nothing compared to the way he glared at Doyoung. Taeyong was scary, and I decided to not get on his wrong side ever again.

“I’d gladly kick your ass here, but I’d rather wait for the finale. You know what people say about prolonged gratification,” Taeyong talked back, and I gasped, trying to comprehend what I just heard. Taeyong was getting cocky, and it made me nervous. I was already stressed about the possibility of performing, and he just added more pressure on my shoulders.

“We’ll see about that,” Doyoung replied, focusing his scrutinizing gaze on me. “But I have to say I kinda look forward to seeing you cry again. The way I beat you the last time was spectacular.”

“Let’s go, Taeyong. Don’t waste your breath on him. He’s not worth it,” I exclaimed, pulling Taeyong’s hand, reminding him I was there the whole time. I couldn’t listen to Doyoung talk trash about Taeyong. If Taeyong wasn’t going to walk away by himself, I had to intervene and pull him aside. Doyoung was provoking him.

“And who is that?” Doyoung asked in a mocking tone, displeased by the way I looked at him. Though I didn’t know the back story, I took Taeyong’s side. At least, Taeyong didn’t try to humiliate his rival, while Doyoung had already tried a few tricks to tick Taeyong off.

“You’re right,” Taeyong said, looking at me. It was evident he was holding himself back, trying his best not to take the bait. “Let’s go,” he added, pulling me away from Doyoung.

“Who was that?” I asked as we approached our booth. Unfortunately, I didn’t get my response. Upon arrival, we noticed that Seulgi was sprawled on the table, giggling to herself.

“Is she always like this?” I inquired, concerned about how drunk Seulgi got in such a short amount of time. We were gone for thirty minutes tops, and she was barely conscious after drinking her and our drinks.

“Aww… there you are… my dear friends,” she cooed cutely, trying to attack Taeyong with cuddles. She was adorable, but it was kind of irresponsible to drink by herself when we were on the dance floor. Thankfully, nothing happened. We returned just in time to collect her and escort her home.

“I can’t believe my plan worked,” Seulgi grinned, pointing her finger at Taeyong. “You no longer have a stick up your ass,” she exclaimed at Taeyong, too drunk to realize she should be talking to me. “And look at you! You were having fun!” Seulgi yelled, extending her arms to hug me. “I am so proud of you!”

“I should take her home,” Taeyong reasoned, considering it the safest option. He could call an Uber for Seulgi or just phone her fiancée to pick her up but bringing her home himself seemed to be the most rational solution. “Will you be alright by yourself?” He inquired, and I nodded right away. It was sweet of him to look after me too. Thankfully, I barely touched my cocktail; I could get home safely on my own.

“Don’t worry about me,” I replied casually, sending him a reassuring smile. “Just make sure Seulgi makes it home safe,” I added, warming up at the way Taeyong hauled up Seulgi, carefully leading her out of the club. It made me wonder if Johnny did the same to me. Probably. He wouldn’t be that gentle, though. If anything, he’d throw me over his shoulder like a bag of potatoes. Or just drag me out like a corpse.

“Give me a call once you get back home,” Taeyong demanded before we parted ways.

 ***

“You went clubbing without me?” Johnny dramatically asked after I told him everything that happened on the weekend. Despite my detailed narration, it seemed as if that was the only thing he caught on to. “How could you?”

“Relax, dude,” I rolled my eyes, shuffling around my desk, getting ready for work. It was Monday morning – it was about time we start our gossip routine.

“And I was wondering… would you mind helping me researching this shady dude? There’s some conflict between him and Taeyong. And I need to know what happened,” I started, wondering if Johnny would cooperate with me and put his stalking abilities to good use.

I was too embarrassed to ask Taeyong about Doyoung. Besides, I had a hunch he would either brush me off or scold me.

“Do you know anything about this dude besides his name?” Johnny pulled out his phone, no questions asked. “Please, don’t tell me that’s the only thing you know.”

“I mean… he’s probably a dancer,” I added with a sheepish smile, making Johnny heave a deep sigh. “He must be a big deal, though. Apparently, Taeyong lost a competition to him.”

“I’ll try to find some dirt, but it may be difficult given how little info you gave me,” Johnny declared as he began his thorough research.

It took Johnny five minutes to find the correct Doyoung. It was remarkable. If it wasn’t enough for the FBI to hire him, I’d gladly present them a recommendation letter. Quickly, I opened Doyoung’s profile on my phone, scrolling through his feed.

At first glance, Doyoung seemed to be a regular bratty internet star with an overgrown ego. His follower count was impressive. Studying his profile, I learned a lot about him. Unfortunately, it had no value. There was nothing specific about his conflict with Taeyong.

“How was your date with Wendy?” I asked Johnny as I gave up on my research. Whatever was the root of their bad blood would have to remain a mystery.

“It was fine,” Johnny started, but I could tell he wasn’t entirely honest. His disappointed tone betrayed him. “She left before the waiter brought the dessert. Apparently, she didn’t particularly like when I kept calling her Wanda.”

“Ouch.”

“No hard feelings, though,” Johnny shrugged it off, trying to focus on the positive aspect of their terrible date. “At least, I’ve had two slices of cheesecake. Besides, I’m kind of into Sooyoung from the creative team now. I think she is the one.”

“Every girl you’re into is the one,” I interjected, rolling my eyes, done with his antics.

“Oh, by the way, I’ve forgotten,” Johnny chimed in, staring at me in excitement. “Taeil asked me about you,” he revealed, and I almost spat out my morning coffee.

“What?”

“Are you still into him, though?” Johnny inquired, rubbing his temple in deep thought. “I haven’t heard you gush about him these days,” he pinpointed, and I wondered if my crush on Taeil was still as intense as it was a few months ago.

Taeil was insanely hot. I kept drooling whenever I saw him operate the printer. It was inappropriate to check him out whenever he bent down to change the ink, but I couldn’t help myself. Or whenever we met by the vending machine.

Good old times.

Right now, though, I rarely caught myself thinking about him. At first, I thought it was due to a hectic schedule. I was either at work or at the dance studio or getting shit-faced with Johnny on another wild adventure with him and his friends.

It was difficult to comprehend how easily my crush faded into thin air. Taeil was still sexy as fuck, but while I appreciate his looks, I wasn’t daydreaming how to get into his pants. At this point, I was just admiring his attributes in the most nonsexual way imaginable.

Apparently, the lack of response on my part was everything Johnny needed to confirm his suspicion.

“So what? Are you into Taeyong now?” Johnny asked boldly, and now, I actually choked on my coffee, thinking I heard him wrong. How did he jump to that conclusion?

“What?”

“Don’t get me wrong, but it kinda looks like you’re into him,” Johnny commented, playing with a pen. “You talk about him all the time with lots of passion. I think there’s something going on between you two. Is he single?”

“I talk about him all the time because I live to complain, and recently he’s the sole reason why I gotta vent,” I defended, but Johnny didn’t seem convinced. “And I don’t know if he’s single. I don’t really care,” quickly, I rejected all accusations, but in all honesty, his words got me wondering.

Was I attracted to Taeyong?

Surely, Taeyong was ridiculously attractive. He danced well, too. Unfortunately, we didn’t click much. There was passion between us, but it wasn’t romantically stemmed. We just kept annoying each other. I wouldn’t consider it sexual. We were just getting on each other’s nerves often, unable to properly solve our differences.

“Whatever helps you sleep at night, honey,” Johnny teased, and I fought the urge to throw the stapler at him. “I bet fifty bucks you’ve imagined him naked, fucking you dumb.”

What the fuck, John???

I did not imagine Taeyong naked!

Not until now, at least.

“I seriously hate you right now,” I complained, deciding it’s about time I focus on work.

 ***

After Johnny had planted naughty thoughts in my mind, each dance practice was unbearable. My mind was running wild, coming up with different scenarios involving Taeyong and me in intimate situations. It was wrong on so many levels, but I couldn’t bring myself to stop.

After months of practicing the dance routine, we decided it would be best to make some changes to the choreography. Though it was still sensual as hell, with our hands roaming each other’s bodies, we found it crucial to accentuate Taeyong’s talents.

It was a strategic plan. While typically male dancers helped the female dancers shine, we put a little twist to it. Though our performance was still pretty balanced, Taeyong had a few crucial parts of choreography, in which he would snatch everybody’s hearts.

Seulgi didn’t object to our strategy. Well… she was never there, to begin with. Seulgi was a ghost, never present during our practice, always busy doing some last-minute wedding prep.

“Let’s take a five,” Taeyong hollered as he turned off the music, sending us off to a short break. It sounded weird when it came out of his mouth, but I didn’t complain. We’ve been practicing nonstop for the past hour. At this point, I was panting.

Lying down onto the floor, I rested my head on my towel, reaching for my phone. Quickly, I unlocked it to see a series of notifications from Johnny. He had sent me a link to a video, telling me in all caps to watch it.

Having left the earphones in the locker room, I played the video quietly through my phone’s speaker. It was a short film with Doyoung. It must’ve been his performance from last year’s competition. Jamming to the music, I studied his moves.

Doyoung was really good. I mean… it wasn’t professional expertise, but I could tell he had talent. His body control was impeccable, his hip thrusts must’ve impregnated plenty of women in the audience, but his shoulder rolls were just otherworldly. Along with the female dancer, they showcased quite the performance. From the beginning to the very end, I couldn’t look away, failing to notice Taeyong approach me.

“What the hell are you doing?” Taeyong shouted, tearing my phone from my hand, double-checking what I was watching. “Why are you watching this?” He angrily asked, locking the device, wishing for it to stop playing music.

It was difficult to explain.

I couldn’t exactly tell Taeyong that I asked my best friend to do research on Doyoung in hopes of finding out what was the root of their conflict. Though we had never found anything substantial, Johnny would send me more footage to check out. However, regardless of how much stuff Johnny had provided me with, I was still clueless.

“Why are you shouting at me?” I spoke, biting on my bottom lip. I was in big trouble, so it was only logical to play dumb.

Taeyong stared down at me, demanding a genuine answer. His jaw was tensed, his knuckles around my phone turned white. It was just a meaningless clip, but it got him fuming at me. Regardless of what I’d tell him, he wouldn’t like the answer. I figured this much.

“Why were you watching that?” Taeyong yelled, raising his hand, almost smashing my phone against the floor. Thankfully, he held back and gently put it on my bag.

It was incredible how much the video affected Taeyong. The movie worked on Taeyong like a red rag to a bull. One moment he seemed fine, but once he figured out what I was watching, he snapped.

“You really want to know?” I challenged as I rose to my feet, staring at him. It was my turn to raise my voice. If he kept shouting at me, I was going to give him the same treatment. “Ever since that night at the club, I was curious. You were basically throwing daggers at each other, and I really wanted to know what happened between you two. You never bothered to explain it, and I didn’t want to push you.”

“Do you have your answers now?” Taeyong exclaimed, and I rolled my eyes, agitating him even more with my fed-up behavior. He was scary right now, but I refused to let him intimidate me. “Or do you want to read my diary too?!”

I resisted the temptation of saying yes to his offering. Taeyong wasn’t the type of person to write a dairy. He was exaggerating, but I didn’t want to provoke him further. At any mention of Doyoung’s name, wrath took control over Taeyong, turning him into his destructive self.

“If it makes you feel any better, I know shit about him,” I confessed, throwing my hands in the air. “I wanted to know what he did to you, but I came up with nothing. And believe it or not, the way he treated you that night made me worry. You’re my dance partner, and I care about you a lot, and it really hurt me seeing you in distress,” I spat, not thinking about consequences. I was talking without filter, probably spilling too much information.

My verbal diarrhea confused Taeyong. His huge eyes were staring at me in astonishment. He was studying my expression, wondering if everything I said was true. Oh, no! My reckless words made him uncomfortable. He must’ve grown to hate now.

In embarrassment, I looked down at my shoes. I felt terrible, and I needed to come up with something clever to say to save my dignity and ease the tension. However, before I managed to voice my sincere apology, I felt Taeyong’s hands cup my cheeks as he surged forward and kissed my breath away. It was sudden, but I reciprocated the kiss in an instant.

Stress, anxiety, anger, sexual frustration, and probably many other factors led us to this very moment. I had been daydreaming about Taeyong’s mouth on mine for a while now. And when it finally happened, I eagerly swept my tongue across his lips, deepening the kiss. Though I had tried my best to withstand the tension between us, I wasn’t oblivious to it.

Taeyong already knew almost every inch of my body, so his hands naturally began roaming across my skin. Moaning into the kiss, he held me closer, keeping me pressed against him.

“Taeyong,” I breathed out as I pulled away, only for Taeyong to smash his lips against mine again, successfully shushing me. This time around, the kiss was even more passionate, making my knees weak. In a rush, Taeyong pushed me against the wall, pushing his thigh between my legs. “We shouldn’t,” I spoke, but my tone wasn’t convincing at all. I wasn’t even sure who I was trying to convince that it was a bad idea.

“Shut up,” Taeyong demanded as he tilted his face, sucking on my bottom lip. His hands were on my butt, kneading my flesh, trying to make me moan into his mouth. In all honesty, it worked. Maybe, I whimpered incoherent sounds, but it’s was just a poor attempt to encourage him to keep kissing me.

Regardless of how much he was to gift me, I needed more. I wasn’t going to stop until I’d take everything Taeyong was willing to give.

I craned my neck to the side, and Taeyong quickly caught on, leaving a wet trail down my neck. His lips were delicate, careful not to leave a mark, while his hips were grinding against me, letting me feel how stiff he already was.

“Legs,” Taeyong ordered, gently slapping my thigh. Obediently, I spread my legs apart, letting his hand cup my sex. It was ridiculous how horny he was making me. Once his raspy voice echoed in my ears, I fulfilled his wish, waiting for another command in excitement.

“Please,” I begged, needing more of him. Whatever he planned on doing to me, I needed it now. Whether he was to tease me with his beautiful fingers or fuck me raw with his cock, he better do it now.

“Patience, sweetheart,” he whispered against my skin, pressing feather-like kisses along my collarbone. His touch was driving me insane. His hands were everywhere but where I wanted them the most. This type of teasing should be illegal.

It was more than I could take, so I took matters into my own hands. I could play this game, too. With a mischievous smirk upon my face, I hooked my forefinger under the band of his tracksuit bottoms. Unfortunately, Taeyong quickly swept my hand away.

“You’re such a bad girl,” Taeyong commented before he captured my lips again, sliding his tongue into my mouth, knowing I’d talk back to him. “You have to do everything your way. Would it kill you if you listened to me at least once?” Taeyong muttered, staring into my eyes.

Yes, I was a brat. Taeyong wanted me to submit to him, and I would do it eventually, but not before I’d tease him first. What was fun in that?

“Don’t answer that,” he added, and I rolled my eyes. Though we barely hung out outside the dance studio, Taeyong learned a lot about me. Having an answer to everything was one of those things he had the pleasure of discovering.

“Just fuck me, please,” I said nicely, staring into his eyes, hoping it would be enough to make him cave. “I can’t take it any longer,” I added, rubbing my loins against his restrained cock, making him let out a guttural moan.

My plan was working. Slowly, Taeyong was giving in, probably taking his time to think about the consequences of letting me experience instant gratification. Orgasm would’ve been sweeter if he made me wait a bit more, but it was difficult for him to control his urges.

Without any doubt, Taeyong wanted to bury his cock inside of me as much as I wanted him to fuck me dumb. We withstood so many practices without jumping at each other – I should consider it foreplay.

“Fine, but I’m gonna eat you out first,” Taeyong spoke, and I almost lost it by just imagining his jaw going between my thighs. Swiftly, he knelt in front of me, pulling my leggings down to my ankles in one fluid motion. Having kicked off my gym shoes, I wiggled the fabric off my feet, sending it flying across the dance studio.

Taeyong ran his fingers across my panties, inspecting how soaked they already were. With a smirk upon Taeyong’s face, he pressed a chaste kiss against my skin above the waistband before he yanked the undergarment down.

“Beautiful,” he said under his breath before he surged his face, taking my clit between his gorgeous lips, making me tilt my head in pleasure. Frustration got me sensitive. Even the slightest touch got me purring in delight.

Taeyong licked and nipped at my entrance, and I run my hands through his hair, encouraging him to keep going. He flicked his tongue, and I buckled my hips, wanting more.

“I need your fingers,” I pleaded, looking down at him. Taeyong looked breathtaking, with my juices were dripping down his sharp jaw, with his lips turned into a satisfied smirk. He was proud of how he was making me feel. His glistening skin was the very evidence of his skillful moves. “Taeyong, please, I am so close.”

Though I didn’t expect him to, Taeyong listened to my humble request. His middle finger slid right it, making me purr in satisfaction. I could finally feel him inside of me, and it was heavenly. His palm moved quickly, working me up.

The first orgasm was building up. Taeyong was fucking me now with two fingers while his mouth was fiddling with my clit. If it wasn’t for Taeyong’s palm, holding me still, I’d buckle right into his face for more friction.

“I’m about to come,” I declared, shutting my eyes close. As tempting as it was to peek at the mirror on the other wall and check out the view of Taeyong eating me out, it was more than I could take. My instinct to squeeze my eyes shut and welcome the orgasm was too much.

Unfortunately, it didn’t happen.

Before tiny tingles of electricity could unite and explode, shooting through me like a lightning strike, Taeyong pulled away, denying me of my orgasm. It physically hurt when instead of a blissful peak, I felt nothing.

“What the fuck?” I barked angrily, ready to pull him by his hair against my sex and press him against me, so he could finish the job.

“We’re coming together, or we’re not coming at all,” Taeyong sternly replied, standing up. His lips were swollen from all the work he was doing, and they looked even more kissable.

“I’ve never pegged you for such a teaser,” I stated matter-of-factly, still a little bit butt-hurt over the way how smug he was about not letting me come first. Maybe I was a handful most of the time, but I didn’t do anything wrong to deserve such treatment.

“I’m not,” Taeyong chimed in, biting down on his lip. “There’s just something about you that makes me want to punish for your misbehavior,” he explained, and I got it where it came from. I wasn’t the best student he could work with. “Isn’t it the sweetest torture?” Taeyong challenged before he surged forward, smashing his lips against mine again, raising my thigh and giving it a gentle rub.

“Please, Taeyong, I need you inside of me,” I begged as I ground my sex against his rock-hard cock. I couldn’t comprehend how self-disciplined and patient he was; his budge was throbbing underneath his pants. It must’ve been painful for him, and he did all of that to teach me a lesson. “Fuck me, already.”

“Relax, sweetheart. I got you,” he softly spoke as he hoisted me up, pressing me tightly against the wall. “To be honest, I expected you to lose it sooner,” Taeyong added, and I hoped he was talking about my sanity. I endured more than enough; his teasing was too much.

“How should I fuck you?” Taeyong asked, looking around the practice room, seeking a perfect spot to stuff his cock inside of me. We didn’t have a lot of options, but I didn’t care. He could fuck me in the middle of the room, and I’d eagerly spread my legs for him. “Screw it,” he cursed, gently lowering me down onto the floor. “Do you mind?” Taeyong inquired, and I shook my head as I wrapped my legs around his hips, pressing him against me.

“Strip,” I ordered, and Taeyong smirked before he pulled his T-shirt over his head, revealing his lean physique. My eyes marveled at his beautiful shoulders and toned muscles. I had touched him more than I could count, but I never saw him bare, and when I finally did, I gawked.

“What about you, sweetheart? Come on, I am waiting,” Taeyong teased, and I took off my T-shirt. I was only in my sports bra, and Taeyong bit his lip, staring down at me, admiring my simple beauty. With no further comment, Taeyong leaned in, attacking my collarbone. It was hot how attentive he was, but right now, all I needed was his cock buried deep down my cunt.

Desperately, I reached to his sweatpants, palming his erection through the fabric. As soon as I touched him, Taeyong released a needy growl, rolling his hips into my hand, finally giving in to the pleasure. He lost his self-restraint, and now, he seriously needed to fill me up with his throbbing length.

“Take them off,” I breathed out, pulling by the hem of his pants. With a lowered head, Taeyong tsked before he yanked them down to his knees, wriggling out of them. Just as I expected, his cock urgently entailed my attention.

Though the thought of blowing him crossed my mind, I eventually decided not to entertain this idea too much. It was apparent Taeyong wanted to him inside of my pussy. I’d suck him dry on a different occasion. Hopefully, it would happen soon.

“Fuck me, Taeyong,” I moaned as I trembled when the tip of his cock brushed against my folds. I was embarrassingly sensitive after his ministrations, and he dared to tease me again. “Please,” I begged as I gave his length a few gentle strokes, aligning it with my entrance.

“Aaahh…” Taeyong growled, slowly pushing his dick inside of me. Inch by inch, he filled me up, stretching my walls. A lot of different sinful noises came out of his mouth as he began steadily thrusting his hips.

Taeyong’s stamina was no joke. It was hard to believe how long he could snap his hips without messing up his rhythm. His low voice mixed with my desperate moans echoed inside the room, creating a wicked symphony along with the sound of our sweaty bodies smashing against each other.

He was fucking me hard, and I was in seventh heaven. Taeyong was filling me up so good; I could come undone on his cock anytime.

“Taeyong,” I moaned his name as I watched him fuck me. Though it was hot to look at his cock disappear in my pussy, it was even sweeter to stare in the mirror. With my head turned to the side, I studied the whole picture how Taeyong was fucking me.

“I am coming,” I screamed as I felt the bliss approach. Taeyong was panting, struggling to maintain his tempo with the way my walls tightened around his sensitive cock. Once he hit my sweet spot, I was a goner. After a few thrusts, I came, digging my nails in his back.

“Fuck,” Taeyong cursed, shouting my name as he shot his load inside of me, collapsing on top of me. We were a breathless mess, our bodies sticking together, but neither of us minded. At this point, we were too spent to care. “You were incredible,” Taeyong whispered as he pulled out, rolling to the side.

“You weren’t that bad yourself,” I panted, giggling, still recovering from the mind-blowing orgasm. Thankfully, Taeyong didn’t pay much attention to my playful jab. “I meant it what I said,” I added, turning around to look at him.

“I’m sorry for yelling at you,” Taeyong started, staring into my eyes, showing me his sincerity. “I just can’t help myself but get angry when I see him or hear about him,” he continued, and I nodded my head, letting him know I was willing to listen.

I didn’t expect that Taeyong would agree to vent to me, but when he did, I patiently heard him out. After all, I was pretty sure we were at least friends now.

“It all happened about a year ago. We were competing in the same contest, and he made my dance partner quit. Doyoung seduced her, toyed with her, and once the trophy was his, he dumped her. Because of him, I was disqualified, and she quit dance altogether.”

Listen to his story made me both sad and angry. Doyoung had been a dick to interfere like that – he must’ve known he hadn’t stood a chance against them in a fair fight. My blood was boiling in my veins as I put all the pieces together.

Sadness took over next. The way Doyoung had manipulated Taeyong’s dance partner was upsetting. The wound had been cut so deep, she couldn’t have forced herself to keep going. Doyoung had wrecked two lives, and it made my blood boil, too.

“We’re gonna beat him. Don’t worry, I’ll make sure we do,” I spoke, reassuring him. It was impossible to tend the wounds, but the least I could do is help Taeyong win. For what he had done, Doyoung deserved punishment. If I were Taeyong, I’d not hesitate to beat him up.

“I hope so,” Taeyong muttered, reaching for my hand, giving it a gentle squeeze. “It’s still fine if we don’t. I’m pretty sure karma will get to him eventually,” he added with a sigh.

“I’ll work harder,” I declared, feeling an extra wave of determination wash through me. “I’ll try my best,” I said, and Taeyong smiled fondly, content to hear me say it.

“Thanks. It means a lot to me.”

For a while, we were staring at each other. It felt nice and somehow more intimate than all the fucking we had done. If we were in bed, I could do it all night. Unfortunately, we were still lying on the uncomfortable floor.

“Let’s get washed up before we get too sappy,” I added, trying to ease the tension. I really enjoyed it, but it was getting a little too much.

“I hope you don’t mind sharing the shower with me. You know… water bills are a bitch,” Taeyong spoke, and I giggled at his bullshit excuse, finding it incredibly cute, considering what we had been doing a few minutes ago.

“Of course they are,” I deadpanned, chuckling. Though his excuse was lame, I liked Taeyong enough to go with it. “Come on. Let’s go. I don’t want anyone to catch me naked.”

 ***

After that one time at the dance studio, Taeyong and I made it a regular thing. However, we kept it civilized. We wouldn’t jump each other’s bones in the open like animals like we had done the first time. Usually, we would go on small kind-of-dates, which consisted of picking up food, going to my or his place, and then rolling in the sheets.

We were having lots of fun. It was a perfect way to de-stress. After all, the finale was this Saturday, and we were nervous as hell. In all honesty, I was still scared, but these orgasms were numbing my anxiety.

“I think that’s it,” Taeyong spoke, and I smiled brightly, unable to contain my joy. It was the first time Taeyong ever approved of our performance. Most of the time, he was nitpicking, complaining about the slightest mistake, but finally, he was satisfied with it.

I was ecstatic; I never expected to live up to Taeyong’s approval. Through hard work and persistence, I managed to earn his eulogy.

“What should we do now? How about we order some food?” I asked, feeling in a celebratory mood. Maybe it was a little bit too early to drink to this small success, but it’s still worth a shot.

“We should do it again. We should dance it flawlessly at least a couple of hundred consecutive times before celebrating,” Taeyong seriously replied, and I rolled my eyes. Despite his painstaking nature, a couple of hundred times, it was a bit too much. Even for him. “Don’t give me that look. Let’s start again; five, six, seven, eight.”

Though usually, I’d complain and try to force him into a five-minute break, right now, I was oddly energized. We were dancing for the past two hours, and I was panting out of exhaustion. Nevertheless, the thoughts of finally mastering the choreography kept me going.

“I’m pretty good at this,” I confidently commented while roaming my hands across Taeyong’s shoulders before he twirled me around to the rhythm. I could tell that Taeyong was just waiting for an excuse to pause the music and scold me for making a mistake. However, much to his dismay, I executed every move impeccably. “I had a pretty good teacher,” I added, stroking his ego. The D-day was approaching, and Taeyong obviously needed an extra boost of confidence.

“I must admit you were a piece of work. I have no idea what kind of sorcery is this,” Taeyong teased, staring into my eyes. We had practiced the routine plenty of times; we could probably perform it in blindfolds and not make a single mistake. “I must be a magician or something.”

“Don’t push it,” I warned him in a very non-threatening tone, making him smirk. “But it’s only partially your success. Seulgi told me I have the it™ factor,” I proudly said, cracking Taeyong up, messing the choreography. “Is it a student-has-become-the-master kind of moment?” I asked, laughing at Taeyong. For the dance prodigy, he was getting distracted way too easily. It was suspicious.

With a broad smile upon his face, Taeyong grabbed my wrists, making me look at him.

“How about we finish up for today? I have a surprise for you,” Taeyong said, and I cocked my eyebrows, biting my bottom lip. “Not that kind of surprise,” he added, rolling his eyes at me. “We might get it on later, though.”

“What kind of surprise then?”

“Wait a second,” Taeyong spoke, quickly jogging out of the practice room. In a minute, he was back with a garment bag in his hands. “Here, that’s for you. Seulgi came in the morning to drop it off for you,” he explained, and I pulled down the zipper. It was going to be my costume for the contest, and I was curious how it looked.

I was speechless. At first, I thought it was a joke. I wouldn’t be able to perform in that. However, the more I looked at it, the more sense it made. It was a simple white suit shirt, but when mixed with a leather body harness, high-waisted shorts, and boots, it fitted the concept beautifully.

“Do you like it? I thought it was too revealing, but Seulgi insisted you would look amazing in it. I mean… it fits the mood, but if you’re not comfortable with it, we still have some time to find something else,” Taeyong blabbered, and my heart swelled. It was very sweet of him to consider my comfort above anything else.

“It’s skimpy, but it’s fine. I like it,” I replied, having no idea where my confidence was coming from. A few months ago, I’d be anxious to even try it on in the confines of my bedroom. However, now I was planning on showing a lot of skin on national television during prime hours on the weekend. I must’ve gone insane.

“Do you want to try it on?” Taeyong challenged, pulling the hangers out of the bag.

“You mean… here?!”

“Come on, it wouldn’t be the first time you took off your clothes in the middle of the practice room,” Taeyong concluded, smiling at me mischievously.

“Pass,” I firmly rejected his dare, even though it felt tempting. “It’s not fun when I’m doing it alone,” I added, and Taeyong grabbed the hem of his T-shirt, more than ready to discard his clothes in a blink of an eye. “Don’t fool around,” I warned him, placing my hand over his before he managed to take his T-shirt off.

“You’re right. Let’s go to my place first,” Taeyong agreed, zipping the bag before he grabbed my hand, leading me out of the practice room.

 ***

 On the day of the performance, I woke up with a terrible stomach ache. No matter how much fantastic sex Taeyong and I had, I was not mentally prepared to perform in front of the whole nation. I felt sick, almost as if my body was telling me to quit before I’d embarrass myself on national television. Stress was eating me from the inside.

“What are you doing up so early? Let’s go back to bed,” Taeyong purred in his raspy morning voice as he sneaked his arm around my waist, pulling me against him. “You need to be rested before the performance. Trust me, you don’t want a camera to catch you yawning,” he added, nuzzling his nose in the crook of my neck, breathing hot air against my skin.

“Thanks for giving me one more thing to stress about,” I deadpanned, heaving a deep sigh, staring at the ceiling. It was a mistake. I should have never agreed to Seulgi’s proposition in the first place. What the hell was I thinking? “I think it’s a bad idea. We should quit.”

Taeyong wasn’t in the mood for my nagging so early in the morning; he was having none of it. “You’re being ridiculous. We’ve practiced so much. We’re gonna win it with ease,” he declared, pressing a featherlike kiss against my jaw. “But for real,” he added, climbing on top of me, trapping me between his thighs, “we’re going to win. And even if we don’t, it’s fine. Really, if somehow we lose to Doyoung and his partner, I’ll just punch him backstage.”

“How can you say that?” I said with a sigh, running my hands across his thighs, finding it rather calming. “I know you said we should rest, but how about…” I trailed, and Taeyong smiled before eagerly capturing my lips, reading me like an open book.

“Say no more,” Taeyong whispered before his hands traveled under my shirt.

Unfortunately, Taeyong’s phone started buzzing on the nightstand before he managed to pull my panties down. With a groan, he extended his arm, staring at the screen.

“It’s Seulgi.”

“What are you waiting for? It’s her wedding day. Pick it up,” I yelled at him as I fell on the pillow, admiring his handsome face when he was talking to Seulgi.

“Please, not you, too,” he barked, rubbing his face in annoyance. Though I barely could make out what she was saying, I figured this much Seulgi and I were suffering from the same stress-fuelled illness. It was her wedding day, after all. Even if it was obvious she loved Irene with a burning passion, she wasn’t immune to pre-wedding anxiety.

Seulgi was talking her stress away, and Taeyong just hummed and nodded his head, registering her words. For some reason, the pressure didn’t seem to bother Taeyong at all. It was weird, but at least he was the voice of reason, which could help me and Seulgi cope.

“Breath in, breath out,” Taeyong spoke when Seulgi made a pause long enough for him to interject. “I know it’s a big deal, but there’s nothing to worry about. You’re getting married to Irene. You love her so much,” Taeyong reminded her, winking at me, expecting Seulgi to end the call soon. “Everybody’s a little nervous; it’s completely normal.”

It was beautiful how close Taeyong and Seulgi were. They had each other’s backs in all types of situations.

About ten minutes later, Seulgi finally calmed down. Taeyong’s reassuring words swept the anxiety away, and she was more than ready to get married to the love of her life.

Once Seulgi hung up, Taeyong threw his phone on the bed and secured my legs around his hips before he leaned forward, giving me a quick kiss. “Seulgi says hi, by the way,” he added, sneaking his hand under the hem of my panties.

“What?”

“What do you mean what?” Taeyong looked down at me, creasing his eyebrows in confusion.

“She knows?” I yelled, unable to comprehend how, on Earth, Seulgi figured out I was in Taeyong’s bed. She couldn’t know. She wasn’t even there when our romance bloomed. “How?”

“Yeah, is it a bad thing, though? You didn’t want to fuck me in secret, did you?” Taeyong challenged, not really answering my inquiry. Did Seulgi figure it out on her own? Or did Taeyong told her about us? And, the biggest question mark was: what were we to begin with? “Seulgi must have some sort of sixth sense. She was bothering me about the sexual tension between us since day one of your training.”

“I wouldn’t call it sexual tension per se, but there was something going on,” I replied, reminiscing how rocky our beginning was. “But I think we were interrupted…” I reminded him, and Taeyong with a playful smirk on his face dived right between my thighs.

 ***

 The streaming should begin at 8 p.m., but we had to arrive before 5 p.m., so the make-up artists and stylists could prepare us for the performance. Sitting in that chair and waiting for all pampering to be over with was stressful as fuck. I tried to preoccupy myself with an idea of Taeyong, but whenever someone threw a question in my direction, I was being pulled out of my train of happy thoughts.

I wanted to get on the stage and be done with it. Unfortunately, whoever funded that contest didn’t think of the mental health of its participants when making today’s schedule.

Punctually, the show began its transmission at 8 o’clock. However, at the very beginning, the MC had to introduce all sponsors. Going through them took him about twenty minutes. Then, they interviewed some of the eliminated dancers, asking them questions either about their experience in the competition or simply who they thought would win.

Later, they decided to rewind the contestants’ moments in the show. At first, they showed Doyoung and his partner, and a few experts analyzed their performance, wondering what the odds of them winning were.

When the host announced the rewind of Taeyong’s and Seulgi’s stages, the jury only talked about the sudden switch up, confirming it was the first time it ever happened in the grand finale. It startled a lot of people why would Seulgi drop out, but Taeyong explained it in a brief interview.

“It was a crazy coincidence, but Seulgi couldn’t participate today because she is getting married today,” Taeyong revealed, and the audience cooed loudly, obviously supporting her choice. “I was stressed at first, but Seulgi found an amazing dancer to take her spot. She really chose well,” he added, and I looked at him, trying not to cry in front of everyone.

It was almost impossible to fish out a compliment from Taeyong during practice, but right now, he did it on his own accord, melting my heart with his words.

“Everybody is dying to know more about your partner,” the MC started, shifting his attention to me. I didn’t particularly like to be put in the spotlight, but before I managed to spit some nonsense, Taeyong butt in, rescuing the day.

“Although she doesn’t have much experience in dance competitions, I think she’s a great dancer. To think of it, she is my secret weapon,” Taeyong added, and I almost ran into his arms, feeling too overwhelmed by his speech.

“Alright then, let’s see what you got after a short commercial break,” the MC cheerfully announced before I bolted out of the stage as I felt the stress crept into my head.

“Calm down,” Taeyong softly spoke as he approached me, holding my hand, drawing circles with his thumb. “You’ve got this. Just focus on me,” he added, flashing me a reassuring smile before kissing my knuckles.

“Awww… isn’t it adorable?” Someone snickered, and I didn’t need to turn my head around to know it was Doyoung. He was like a venomous snake, trying to sneak into our subconscious and make us even more anxious. It couldn’t be fair play.

“Buzz off,” I barked as I didn’t want to let him tick Taeyong off. Taeyong was my safety pin, and I didn’t want him to go full rage on Doyoung. Their backstage battle would make it to the news, but I’d rather prevent it from happening.

“With Seulgi on your arm, I was giving you a five percent chance of winning,” Doyoung started, ignoring my warning. “Now, when she’s gone, I won’t even have fun beating you on the stage,” he added, and I almost surged forward to punch him. If it wasn’t for Taeyong, who held me in my place, I’d definitely rearranged Doyoung’s face.

“Don’t let him get into your head,” Taeyong whispered into my ear, and I nodded my head, sighing. Then, it struck me. Doyoung’s motive wasn’t to mess with Taeyong but with me. He knew I was the weakest link, and he wanted to guarantee his victory by making me doubt myself. His words rung in my head, but one look at Taeyong helped me relax. We had practiced it a thousand times; there was not a chance I would make a mistake.

“Come on. Let’s go. They’re calling us out,” Taeyong mused, pulling me towards the stage.

The silence filled the auditorium when we got on the stage, taking our respective places. I stole a glance at Taeyong – he was mouthing words of encouragement seconds before the MC announced our performance.

I can hear it callin'

Loving the way you wanna talk

Touch me, tease me, feel me up

Callin', something in the way you wanna talk

On two sides of the stage, we moved to the rhythm, telling the story of two strangers lusting over each other from afar. With hunger in our eyes, we tried to seduce each other with sharp movements, showcasing our attributes.

You got me sayin', you got me sayin'

How you doing? Tell me what's your name (Ey, tell me what's your name?)

What's your sign? Feeling like you are into me

Taeyong ran up to me like a man enchanted by the siren’s voice, rolling his body against mine. It was his moment to shine; everybody’s eyes were on him as he owned the stage with his overflowing charisma.

Baby, we're two distant strangers

I know you don't speak my language

But I love the way she's talking to me (Talking to me)

I can hear it callin' from where you are

Loving the way you wanna talk

Touch me, tease me, feel me up

Touch me, tease me, feel me up

It was a classic game of cat and mouse. Though our bodies were so close to each other, we moved in perfect synchronization, careful not to brush against each other. The chemistry between us was undeniable, and the feeling of yearning was visible from the very last row.

Max, max, max, we can have it all (To the max)

If you back, back, back, back, back it up (Back it, back it)I'll take you where you wanna, got the gas in the tank (Wow)

If you really wanna make it last (Git, git, git)

Finally, as the song slowly progressed to the end, we were showing intense frustration. We were portraying two individuals, yearning for intimate contact, who were hastily losing their minds over uncontrollable passion.

I can hear it callin' from where you are (Callin', woo)

Loving the way you wanna talk (Love the way you talk)

Touch me, tease me, feel me up (Yeah, yeah)

Touch me, tease me, feel me up

The song was to end soon. The last chorus rolled in – it was our cue. After all teasing, we finally made the connection, ready to combust out of raw craze. After three minutes of painful longing, we were to reach completion.

I can hear it callin' from where you are (Callin', woo)

Loving the way you wanna talk (Love the way you talk)

Touch me, tease me, feel me up (Yeah, yeah)

Touch me, tease me, feel me up

It was all or nothing. We were finally together, touching each other with fervor.  The audience was eating our performance up – particularly when Taeyong showcased his flexibility and body control.

Tell me how you like it babe (How you)

I don't even know your name (How you, ey)

I love the way you're talking to me

It was finally time to finish our performance with a bang; we needed to show something spectacular, something Doyoung wouldn’t ever think about. As the singer began the last verse, it was my cue to run into Taeyong’s embrace. The second the last syllable rolled of the singer’s tongue, Taeyong caught me in his arms, and the lights went out to add a dramatic twist to our performance.

For a while, the audience was silent. However, a few seconds later, they roared in excitement, clapping loudly, showing how much they enjoyed our stage.

The MC was congratulating us, but I was too thrilled to register his words. I still couldn’t believe I performed on national television and didn’t trip and smash my face.

I had no idea how I found myself backstage, but there was a high chance Taeyong led me off the stage. I was too overwhelmed to do it on my own.

I even forgot that Johnny, together with Yeri – the love of his week, had backstage passes. I only remembered that when he wrapped his arms around me in a bear hug, congratulating me.

“You gotta quit that office job and start dancing professionally,” Johnny ordered, and I smiled, glad that he enjoyed my performance. “We both gotta quit. You’ll be dancing, and I’ll be a badass FBI agent.”

“You two were great,” Yeri politely said when Johnny let me go. “Thank you so much for letting me backstage.”

“No problem,” Taeyong replied as he grabbed my shaking hands. “Are you okay?” He asked, cupping my face, making me look at him. “You rocked the stage,” he added before he leaned forward to peck my lips.

Ignoring Johnny’s perplexed expression, I wrapped my arms around Taeyong in a comfortable hug. I hadn’t suitably introduced Johnny to the concept of me dating Taeyong, but hopefully, our interaction got the message across.

Emotions were slowly fading away, but I still needed Taeyong’s support. I was a rookie, and I had no experience with this type of stress. Something was calming about Taeyong’s aura; I couldn’t pinpoint what exactly, but I wasn’t going to question it.

“Anticipation is killing me,” I muttered against his skin. “Can he already go on that fucking stage?” I yelled, wondering why Doyoung’s performance didn’t start yet. I knew the MC was building up tension, but it was too much for me to handle.

“We could always skip,” Taeyong casually spoke, and I pulled away to look at him. What the hell was he talking about? I hadn’t agreed to help him out, so we didn’t wait until the end. “If we lose, we lose. If we win, your friend can accept the prize, can’t he?”

“Are you insane?”

“Maybe a little bit,” he answered with a bright smile, brushing stray hair off my forehead. “I just want to know the result already so we can go to Seulgi’s wedding and congratulate them,” he added, and I nodded my head. Though we couldn’t participate during the ceremony, the least we could do was to show up ridiculously late to the reception.

“Can they hurry the fuck up now?” I craned my neck, trying to find Doyoung and his partner. They were arguing about something right behind the curtain. Everything seemed they weren’t in the right headspace.

“I don’t think I want to see their performance,” Taeyong whispered, tightening his grasp on my waist. “How about a quickie in the dressing room? What do you say?” He proposed, and I smacked him, telling him to behave. It was tempting, but we really shouldn’t. I wouldn’t walk up that stage with messed-up post-sex hair.

“Get a grip,” I added, gently elbowing him. “Let’s just hit the snack table. I am hungry,” I spoke, pulling him away when the MC invited Doyoung and his dance partner onto the stage.

While munching on snacks, we stared at each other fondly. In some weird way, we were helping each other cope with anticipation and stress. Though it was tempting to check out their performance, we decided it was for the better if we didn’t.

They performed to “Hips Don’t Lie,” and it was almost impossible to turn my head around to check out Doyoung’s sick moves. Having considered all the videos I had seen of him, I was sure he looked gorgeous.

“What about a little peek?” Taeyong questioned, unable to control his urge to see his rival’s performance. “I thought I could endure it, but I can’t,” he added, and I nodded, giving in. Instantly, we ran to the nearest screen to watch their stage.

It was everything I imagined. Their moves were executed with precision and grace, but entertainment-wise, I was bored. They had the skills, but something about the general concept didn’t fulfill my expectations.

No matter how great of a dancer Doyoung was, he just could not pull this song off as the original artist did. Regardless of how hard he swayed his hips, it just didn’t live up to its potential. Though I wasn’t educated enough to give an honest review, it felt meh.

The audience in the studio whistled and shouted once they finished their performance, giving them a round of applause. With genuine smiles, Doyoung and his partner bowed before they ran off the stage.

Now, only thirty minutes of aggressive advertising, and we would know the winner.

“Is it too late to agree to that quickie?”

“You should’ve said so earlier,” Taeyong answered with an innocent smile as he reached to hold my hand. “The best I can do is cuddles,” he added, leading me to the couch, letting me rest my head on his shoulder. “It feels nice.”

“It does, but it doesn’t take my mind off things like a quickie would.”

“Don’t even try. I am not going on that stage with a boner in my pants,” Taeyong warned, peeling my hand off his thigh, pressing a delicate kiss against my knuckles.

Though it wasn’t as preoccupying as sex, it was still nice. And most importantly, it took our minds off the unbearable anticipation. A staff member actually needed to gently shake Taeyong’s shoulder to remind us that the MC was calling us to the stage.

Taeyong’s hand didn’t leave mine once we were waiting for the big reveal. It was fine if we lost. Next year, Seulgi and Taeyong would definitely make it to the top.

When the MC announced the winner, a few confetti bombs exploded. The audience roared in excitement, but I had no clue what was going on. Uncertainty was over – one of us won.

Stress, anticipation, and anxiety slowed down my reactions. However, I figured it would be weird if Taeyong picked me up and spun me around in his arms if we lost. It could only mean one thing – we did it.

We won.

Taeyong’s acceptance speech was short and simple. He thanked everyone who succored him discover his passion for dancing, who supported him throughout his dream, who directly helped him get this far, and me.

When I was handed the microphone for the first time that evening, I basically rephrased Taeyong words. Maybe it wasn’t my dream, but it felt damn good to assist Taeyong in achieving his. It was a bumpy road, but overall, it was all worth it.

The MC handed me a statue after shaking my hand, congratulating me once more. Taeyong, on the other hand, was gifted a huge check for 20 thousand dollars.

“Let’s go,” Taeyong whispered to me, running off the stage with me.

 ***

It was shortly before midnight when the Uber parked in front of the hotel where Seulgi’s and Irene’s reception took place. It was beautifully decorated with lights and flowers, making it look like a magical castle.

Though the security didn’t want to grant entrance, one of Seulgi’s aunts recognized Taeyong and told the man to let us in. She was nice enough to help us out, but she still found some time to glance disapprovingly at my stage costume. I wouldn’t be surprised if she gossiped to her entire family I was a prostitute.

As soon as we walked into the ballroom, Seulgi noticed us. She was sitting by the table, eating the wedding cake with Irene. In an instant, she rose from her chair and ran up to us, throwing herself on Taeyong’s neck.

“You won! I knew it!” She shouted as she gave Taeyong a bone-crushing hug. “Irene and I sneaked out for a while to watch your performance. You smashed them,” Seulgi added before she turned to me, congratulating me too.

“You were amazing,” Irene approached us, sending a polite smile. Unlike Seulgi, Irene was much calmer and collected.

“You are finally married,” Taeyong spoke, beaming. “You better have everything recorded. I gotta know every embarrassing thing that I missed,” he added in a teasing manner, earning a playful jab from Seulgi. “I bet you cried during your vows.”

“Congratulations,” I chimed in, breaking their friendly banter before it properly started. It was Seulgi’s wedding day, after all.

After we caught up, Seulgi and Irene walked off to the dance floor, leaving us by the table alone. For a while, we admired them. They looked absolutely stunning in their white suits, dancing, basking in happiness.

“Do you know where the gifts are held?” I inquired suddenly, looking around.

“Why? Did you have time to get them anything?” Taeyong asked before he stuffed his mouth with a chocolate glazed strawberry. “Or are you thinking of stealing some?”

“I just want to give them my part of the prize,” I started, making Taeyong choke on the fruit. “Seulgi’s the rightful winner, and I think it’s only right.”

“Are you sure? It’s a lot of money.”

“Yeah, I know, but I really want to do that,” I replied, fiddling with my fingers. “I don’t need this money, so I want to give it to her.”

“You’re so hot right now,” Taeyong said, making me turn my head in embarrassment. “If that’s what you really want to do, do it. But remember, you earned it.”

“I am sure.”

“Then let me spoil you with my prize,” Taeyong offered, staring into my eyes. At first, I thought he was joking, but when his gaze didn’t even falter, I understood how serious he was. “Well… look at that. What are the odds?” Taeyong spoke as a familiar melody echoed within the walls of the grand ballroom. “It’s our song. Shall we dance?”

Having glanced at Seulgi, who whispered something to the DJ, I smiled at Taeyong. Though I was sick and tired of Love Talk already, it was kind of our song. We had been listening to this song too much, and regardless of how good it was, the prospect of it being our anthem terrified me.

“One last time,” I gave in, accepting Taeyong’s invitation, letting him lead me to the dance floor. Despite having mastered the choreography to it, I just wrapped my arms around his neck, slowly waltzing to it.

“That’s nothing like we practiced,” Taeyong pinpointed, and I chuckled, shaking my head. “I don’t mind, though. It’s comfy,” he added as his hands found purchase on my hips.

“Seulgi doesn’t look pleased. She didn’t expect us to perform, did she?” I whispered into Taeyong’s ear, hugging him closer. “Also, it can’t be our song. We have to change it; the sooner, the better,” I complained, but Taeyong just chuckled into my ear, humming softly.

Instead of giving me an actual answer, Taeyong decided to sing it.

“I love the way you're talking to me.”

[morkleemelon]

nct ideal types 2021 :: dream

127 version | this has been on my mind for a bit and I wanted to write it down- these will consist of confirmed facts and then my own thoughts. the latter part is, as it sounds, strictly from my opinion and observation and may well not be accurate. this is just for fun! proceed~

mark lee:

confirmed: likes someone with long black hair who is nice (on air nct show)

my thoughts:

he moved to korea to train when he was like 13 and has been busy as a bee ever since. I don’t know his life but I feel like he hasn’t really had the chance to date much if at all yet. this brings me to think he would prefer someone who can lead in the relationship

he grew up christian and seems to still hold those ideals. although if he really liked someone it wouldn’t be an issue, this makes me think he would be drawn to someone with similar ideals

he laughs a lot and gets along well with people who are funny (haechan, yuta, jungwoo). I think that he would like someone with a good sense of humor

he doesn’t spend money lavishly and prefers to use what he has (i.e. the jansport backpack, not having youtube premium, keeping all the gifts he receives in his bag). all of this points to him preferring someone modest and not wasteful

mark got jisung a bracelet that costs over $1000 for his birthday (what a good bro I’m cry). he likes songs like ‘I got you’ by Bazzi (mark superm quarantine playlist) which is about spoiling a girl. this all makes me think that although he is frugal for himself, he likes spoiling others and would like to spoil his significant other

From Japan official book vol 1, mark said he wasn’t sure what his ideal first date would be, but he answered that it would be to go to a restaurant and have a good meal because he likes eating. So someone who’s down for simple dates and perhaps also good at cooking (because our boy can’t even make an egg)

From the same magazine, he said he doesn’t care about fashion and would like his partner to “wear what she likes”. Doesn’t seem like he goes for style much!

huang renjun:

confirmed: n/a

my thoughts:

I strongly feel like he would want to feel like the ‘man in the relationship’. he would want to feel protective over his partner and that’s why I think he would adore someone smaller than him

he’s full of chaotic rage energy (in the cutest way that would never actually hurt anybody). to balance out these vibes, renjun would match well with someone calm and sweet

looks-wise besides being a petite person, I can envision someone very cute, probably with shorter, un-dyed hair

renjun is into sci-fi movies and shows and confirmed he believes in aliens (weekly idol). I think he’d be drawn to someone with a big imagination who likes sci-fi as well

lee jeno:

confirmed: n/a

my thoughts:

jeno is really really shy (when he met yeeun from clc to mc together, they said they couldn’t even talk at first because it was so awkward). I think jeno would like someone more outgoing but not overwhelming

I feel like his ideal type is literally like renjun- a little fiesty and literally, little. jeno has mentioned that he loves renjun’s voice too, so perhaps he would be interested in someone with a nice voice

he works out a lot and likes physical activities like biking and going to the gym. I think he’d like someone who values fitness and health too

he loves animals and has 3 cats of his own despite being allergic. because of this, I think he’d like a person who loves animals too

lee haechan:

confirmed: someone with a nice voice/ singing voice. someone with shorter hair

my thoughts:

he’s so extroverted and craves attention from whoever he’s around, and that wouldn’t be an exception for the person he likes. he’d want someone who looks up to him and gives him attention

he’s still really young and even enjoys movies like the kissing booth (I’m sorry I had to bring it up because I think it’s important). ignoring the actual bad parts of that movie, I think he’s interested in that young love, dancing together at the arcade, kissing in the rain, come over to his house in secret, type relationship

haechan seems to be especially close friends with foreign swaggers line (mark, johnny, jaehyun) so I’m thinking that perhaps he likes the western vibe

during oshiete Japan, he and Yuta were the only ones who chose to give three roses to a hypothetical ‘lover’ (they had to choose between 4 types of roses to give). the psychologist said that this means haechan is “flirty and attention-seeking” which makes a lot of sense. this adds to my point that he would like someone who gives him a lot of attention and good reactions

during a recent fansign (1/23?) OP asked “what are things girls do that makes you flattered?” to which he answered “when I did something wrong and get scolded, that scary look makes me flattered”. although it’s a bit awkwardly translated, this insinuates that he likes it when he gets scolded by a girl. *jaemin voice* sexayyy. thus, I’m adding that haechan likes a someone strong headed and not afraid to scold him

na jaemin:

confirmed: n/a

my thoughts:

he has a sort of 180 personality where he’s either really energetic or prefers to be in the background. jeno says that jaemin hardly talks at the dorms after schedules because his social battery is dead. this is classic introvert behavior so I think he would vibe well with someone patient and calm

he’s the sweetest boy and he volunteers often for unicef and was even cast to sm while he was volunteering. he’d appreciate someone who shares similar values and likes helping others

I think he often doesn’t think or worry about himself. he goes out of his way to please others and help others and often disregards what he actually wants because of it (i.e. taking his shirt off at the dream show even though he was uncomfortable I’m so sad poor baby). he needs someone who is thoughtful and who reminds him when it’s time to stop and think of himself

looks-wise, I’m gonna be completely honest when I say I think he doesn’t go for looks. personality and morals are key

his favorite member of snsd is tiffany. he never confirmed if she was his ideal type, but perhaps he’s attracted to her bubbly, girly personality

zhong chenle:

confirmed: he’s only into girls (vlive)

my thoughts:

this may be a stretch, but in a live he was doing, chenle was talking about which member of wayv princesses was the prettiest. he said something along the lines of ‘ew they all looked weird’ but later admitted that kun was probably the only one who ‘looked okay’. kun was snow white which brings me to my first prediction which is that lele likes the classic chinese beauty (black hair, pale skin, elegant, gentle)

chenle loves winning and he loves to be praised. although his mbti shows that he’s an introvert, he would crave the full attention of his s/o. someone who looks only at him

during the from home live, he was asked to act out a scenario where he accidentally ate his girlfriend’s food. haechan (who was acting as the girlfriend) went “buy me 10 more” and chenle just went “okay :)”. ngl, kinda fell in love with him then but this makes me think he’d want someone to spoil

park jisung:

confirmed: likes it when people call him 오빠 (oppa) - take this how you will

my thoughts:

debuting at 14, I’m quite sure he hasn’t had the opportunity to have a relationship yet. this being said, he also seems quite innocent and shy which is why I think he would prefer someone who knows what they’re doing and isn’t afraid to speak their opinion

just from vibes, I think he would wanna be with someone like a best friend to him. someone who’s down to just hang out and talk, play video games and watch movies etc.

he’s quite tall (the tallest in dream) so I think he’d actually be ok with a tall person maybe even around the same height as him

maybe not a definite need, but I feel like he’d be impressed by someone who can dance well since dancing is such a big part of his life