#autistic boundaries

[themaskedlady]

[notabled-noodle]

actually I do wish more people would just tell me when I do something wrong! it’s usually an accident that happens because I’ve misread the situation

I’ve had far too many friendships disintegrate because the other person never tells me when I do the wrong thing, and then they grow to resent me… despite them never being clear about what went wrong in the first place

the kindest thing you can do for your autistic friends is probably to be clear with them when they cross a line. to tell them kindly and politely what went wrong. to do them the service of communicating with them

because otherwise, how can I possibly know there’s a problem that I need to fix?

[souljashawty]

Normalize telling people No.

No, I don’t want to hang out.

No, I don’t want to watch that.

No, I don’t like this song.

No, I don’t want to come over.

No, I don’t want to so you a favor.

No, you can’t not change my mind.

No, I don’t want to drink with you.

I know we put such an emphasis on respecting physical boundaries but why not just general boundaries?

There have been so many times I’ve been pressured into doing something I don’t want to. Rather it be going to a social gathering or even something doing for someone.

I’m not sure if it’s always been like that or if Covid made people more entitled but It’s not fair at all. Stop making your friends go out of their comfort zone. Stop putting your friends in situations you know they’re going to be uncomfortable in. Take no for an answer and stop peer pressuring.

No means fucking no.’

[my-autism-adhd-blog]

Autistic Self Care

Saying no

Stimming

Researching new interests

Sensory safe clothing

Rewatching/relistening to the same song/movie

Setting boundaries

Alone time

Info dumping

Resting

Safe place

Engaging in special interests

Littlepuddins.ie

[neurodivergenttales]

If you set a boundary with someone and their immediate reaction is anger then you should know that you were 100% right to set that boundary with them in the first place

[positivelyqueer]

it took me until my twenties to learn properly so I thought I’d share- you’re allowed to not want to hug people. This seems pretty straight forward but can get confusing when you still trust them, or you’re okay with being hugged one day and not the next, or you’re okay with certain friends hugging you and not others even though you care about them in the same way. Whatever the reason or lack of reason, you can always say no to hugging anyone.

[sexygaywizard]

Another reason I get so pissy about people being like "well actually wizards are x y and z" on my shit is because you don't see me fucking going on to other people's posts and telling them their shit is wrong or that they need to follow my rules for shit. Because I respect that people can have their own interpretations of shit and express that within their own space. But people give me these dumbass lectures on my posts all the damn time! Make your own fucking post I don't want to see it

[wreckitremy]

Autism won today

I just finished watching the latest episode of dungeon meshi

[drdemonprince]

your post about only communicating the minimum needed reminded me of the gricean maxims (concept in linguistics describing how people communicate)! your advice was very similar to the maxim of quantity :)

From the UPenn School of Arts & Sciences site:

Grice's Maxims

The maxim of quantity, where one tries to be as informative as one possibly can, and gives as much information as is needed, and no more.

The maxim of quality, where one tries to be truthful, and does not give information that is false or that is not supported by evidence.

The maxim of relation, where one tries to be relevant, and says things that are pertinent to the discussion.

The maxim of manner, when one tries to be as clear, as brief, and as orderly as one can in what one says, and where one avoids obscurity and ambiguity.

[vizthedatum]

If someone is having difficulty empathizing with you after repeated attempts of communicating and showing them how you want to be treated, then a boundary needs to be made.

It doesn't matter if the person is a good person or not.

This boundary can include saying "no" or changing the dynamics of your relationship (including ending the relationship).

You are not being cruel for having boundaries or pulling back your energy.

Do not enable behavior that hurts you, even if there are reasons for that behavior.

[babykkumaa]

Im weird.. I want a girlfriend or at least attempt to date a girl but, I feel like I always attract the wrong people. Like the last girl I like (kind of in a crush way but it was not completely bc I was still getting to know her) she completely understood me when I talk and everything. But, was problematic when she didn’t completely get her way. The other girls I liked didn’t work out either. It makes me wonder if I’m the problem a bit.

Even making friends is a hassle too.. I’m just tired.

[moe-broey]

Forever thinking about this panel

He will NOT be accepting hugs for any mundane reason and if you try he will react like he's being hunted for sport

But I am ALSO thinking about

He will give a little sympathetic pat on the back........ if you're feeling down ......

Alfonse physical affection seems to vary and is situational 👍

[the-wolf-fiendling]

HOT TAKE:

- Only allows touch with LOTS of communication

- Once she does she doesnt want you to stop cause youre really special to her

- Is an adult who has a named plushie near her bed

- Really cute and awkward about her interests

- Protective

- Socially awkward

- Lots of trauma

- Wants to help people, especially those who are in bad situations like hers

- Very temperature aware/sensitive

- Emotions Way Too Much (emotions making her engine heat up)

- Touch starved

- Last but not least she info dumps about her interests and then gets real blushy and shy about it.

Karlach is definitely neurodivergent and personally she reads as autistic to my autistic self.

[supernovasolace]

I'm a former content creator who's been largely absent from social media for a couple of years. I told myself I was going to take a short mental health break from all the negativity, but between severe burnout and a car accident upending my entire life, I've been gone a LOT longer than I'd expected.

Now that I've recovered some spoons and am working towards self-employment again, I know getting myself back out into the public square is unavoidable. But to be honest, I've been dreading the thought of being visible again. Because this time, I'm doing so as an openly neurodivergent, disabled, queer, and nonbinary person—and I know that puts an even bigger target on my back than the one I crumpled under.

Lately I've been trying to prepare myself and harden my mental defenses, and today I was thinking about how strange it is that random people take time out of their day to leave shitty or hateful comments. That's when I realized: I've never done that. My family and friends don't do that. My target audience doesn't do that. Creators I look up to and want to learn from don't do that.

So if we can rule out all of those people, I'm left with just one question: why should I give a flying fuck about what anyone else thinks? If criticism isn't coming from someone who I am in community with, learning from, or trying to reach out to, why should their input hold any weight?

Moving forward, I'm making a personal rule that I will only accept negative feedback from people whose opinion SHOULD matter to me. If a critic shows good intentions and is genuinely offering me a chance to improve my art, fantastic. But if not? Sir, this is a Wendy's—and you just ordered a block.

[my-autism-adhd-blog]

As an autistic person, I might not realise when someone is crossing my boundaries…

Neurodivergent_lou

[brittlebutch]

honestly Adaine is so good at clarifying/directing Ayda socially that it begins to circle back to a dynamic of like, Ayda saying "i don't know or understand these rules" and Adaine responding "have no fear, I've been carefully studying and manually interfacing with these for years, I will explain:" in a way that to me is so autism4autism