#baby's first war crime

[amalgamasreal]

Prospera to Suletta in episode 12 of Witch from Mercury:

[here-comes-the-moose]

Crosshair, bitter youngest child: Are we seriously going to let Hunter keep Omega?

Tech, not looking up from his work: We let you keep Echo.

[atopvisenyashill]

that “what if viserys ii was a girl” ask sits in my mind because i keep imagining aegon iii finally reaching the end of his regency, firing the entire council, telling munkin where he can shove his precedents, and officially naming rhaenyra as rhaenyra i targaryen, queen of the seven kingdoms, and himself as her successor, and putting viserys/visenya’s kids in the line of succession, then looking at the entire realm and going “overthrow me i double dog dare you” aksjdjd

[mugentakeda]

speaking of dogs. id like you all to meet my pet beast Dog. we got him when i still lived with my family and we couldnt agree on a name so we decided to just call him Dog for the time being. it ended up sticking im afraid

[queermania]

Sam didn't actually know what Ruby was doing though. It's not his fault she manipulated him. That is a violation.

much manipulation very violation

[introspectivememories]

literally can't stop thinking about mafia!bernard and police informant!tim

it got too long for the tags

bear's in the mafia for whatever reason

and tim is part of a police team called idfk the bats

anyway bear's mafia is getting too big and they need sm1 on the inside. enter tim.

tim is a police legacy. his dad was a policeman and so was his father's father and on it goes

and he might've made it onto captain wayne's team but he's desperate to prove to the force that he's not a fuckin nepo baby

so he takes the job. enter bernard who only meets tim after he's been on the mission for a year now.

bear quickly takes a liking to this new recruit who's efficient and smart and has the tiniest waist he's ever seen.

and tim goes along with this liking cause hey information from the top will be more valuable right?

and they fall into this fuckbuddies relationship that quickly becomes way more. because like fuck bear looks at tim like he's worth smth

like he's more than what his parents have set out for him. like he's somebody. like he loves tim for tim. and not for what tim can do for him.

and fuck he loves bear and his smiles. the way his eyes crinkle and his gums show. he loves the way bear looks with a gun in his hands and he knows that's fucked up but the first time he saw bear with a gun in his hands and blood splattered across his face he had to actively stop himself from jumping bear in front of the mafia. and no matter how rough bear is when he's on the field he always caresses tim's cheeks with a softness tim didn't know was possible

and fuck his dick is massive and it's really not helping tim's feelings. and he knows he's compromised and fuck cpt. wayne probs knows too

but shit bear holds him like he's precious. bear looks at him like he loves him. bear twines their bodies together like he'll die if they part

bear whispers sweet nothings into his ears as they fall asleep and it'll break him when he has to give bear up but he's always been selfish

he'll keep this for as long as he can. (please lord let him have this.)

and on bear's end he really only becomes interested in this new recruit when he watches the boy deliver 10 backhanded compliments in a row

and nobody pick up on it. it takes 3 months before bear figures out that tim's a spy and still he keeps seeing him

bc it doesn't matter that tim'll be his downfall. it doesnt matter that tim doesnt really love him or care about him. that it's only a mission for tim bc tim is the best thing bear's life.

he is the sun to bear's moon. the first word on his lips when he wakes up and the last when he goes to sleep.

and he loves every version of tim -- when he's caustic and biting, when he's blissed out in bed covered in the marks bernard left, when he's laughing, when he's crying

every version on tim is a version he likes. and one of these days, his pretty bird is going to have to leave their nest but at least bear can hold tim until then

at least bear can press promises into his thighs. at least he can whisper his devotion into the crook of tim's neck. at least he can leave marks on tim -- lovebites on his neck, handprints on his thighs and hips -- a tapestry that says "i was here. and i loved him. i love him and i am here."

but until that day comes, bear will work on quitting smoking and turning his favorite safehouse into a home for them.

(please lord, just let him have this. just let him have tim.)

[kanerallels]

Behold the art of my OC, Jack Archer, that I commissioned from the incredibly talented @snekky-arts!! I was so excited to receive this, definitely go check their blog out!

[missunderstood-with-ideas]

Otto: Daemon sent a us a message “hell hath no fury than mother scorned”

Alicent: what is he talking about?? He has no reason to be scorned!!

Aemond:…….soooo 👉🏻👈🏻 bout that…..

*rhaenyra is the distance screaming cuz in 48hr she’s lost the throne, her father and 2 kids*: I’VE BEEN MORE THAN FUCKEN SCORNED DEAMON

[squoobest]

if i get another military recruiter in my texts again instead of a normal phishing scam one more time i am going to start crying (not seriously! but it is annoying)

[hellhelpwhichever]

i'm here from the notes of that one dead aloe plant. im genuinely so curious about your fucked up aloe experiments, can we see them? hydroponic aloe... that's a new one by me

Here is my darling little regular aloe plant

Here is my 100% water fed no nutrient aloe plant where as you can see the leaves

It’s rather curious as the leaves become slightly curved and they reach an extensive length before immediately shriveling up and falling off at about 3 1/2 - 5 1/4 inches yet it still continues to grow new leaves at the top and new roots with ease

Also notable is that I rewatered it about two weeks ago after it got about half empty (after being watered at the point 5 months before hand) and it started growing numerous small new roots days after which have turning into the few long white roots you see now while also having small round bumps on it with a single smaller protrusion coming off of them

Then there is my war crime

It is immediately apparent that there is a wild growth in how long and twisted the leaves have gotten where the few shriveled up are much smaller and closer together then on normal aloe plants not to mention how small the stalk is compared to normal aloe

There is also the curious case of how there is another plant growing in here a month and a half ago despite there being no possible way for it to have gotten in

Now here is a bit harder to see and perhaps more noticeable in the third photo but every shine is a small mold spores which has built a protective bubble so that the water can’t drown it out (even turning it sideways the water covers the entire side of the bottle except these small bubbles)

And lastly there is THE ROOT

A black root that covers the side of the bottle before curving behind the biggest spore bubble yet this is not formed by the mold (as it has its own root system that won’t show up on camera) or the aloe itself as it has small crumpled white yellow roots at the bottom of the glass (also refuses to be photographed)

Originally I was simply trying to see if I could grow aloe in the bottles when they were too small for any filtration system or delicate for any hole to be added so I tried all water and one with soil in it back in summer 2022 but I asked someone to water the soil one while I was out and they over watered the shit out of her and the whole bottle had green (not aloe) on the inside but it was growing like crazy while the water one was dying so I waited it out and here we are

Thinking next spring I’m going to try to implant the back into soil and see how that goes

[locria-writes]

my sole true non-trash male lead: *hands over a pretty bouquet for their first date*

my poor protagonist who is in the wrong genre: is this a threat against my life?

[master-thief-gray-shadow]

Man

[emmaspolaroid]

okay i can’t promise that I’ll be able to finish my Norman bday drawing by tomorrow but fear not, because i am insane, and i am more than willing to stay up all night to update my fic. as a treat. <3

[verahella]

yuji had never been in gojo’s office before.

he hadn’t even known such an office existed until he and nobara convinced megumi to let them fly on nue and ended up with their faces smooching a glass window (which was now broken) and they’d been called into gojo’s office for a punishment.

it was extravagant, consisting of a dark oak desk, a floor to ceiling window, marble floors and whatnot. but mostly empty, no traces to suggest that anybody occupied it. it was devoid of any warmth and gojo’s personality—except for a frame on the desk that caught yuji’s eye.

“hey sensei, isn’t that your girlfriend?!”

gojo’s eyes flit to the photograph before he sighs, “she’s not my girlfriend anymore.”

“what?!” nobara screeches, “she was the best you could find! i mean good for her, she’s learnt her standards but now you’re definitely gonna die alone, sensei.”

even megumi’s lips were twisted into a frown.

yuji stutters, backtracking before they get kicked out of school, “wha-what she means to ask is why’d you break up? you guys were perfect for each other.” he pauses, “i think.”

he’d only seen her a few times around campus but she seemed like the sweetest person on earth, based on their few interactions. nobara definitely seemed to approve of her.

gojo props his legs up on the table, shrugging with his hands behind his head, “multiple reasons. first one, she’s out to torture me.”

“i am not.” the trio whips around to see you standing in the doorway, arms crossed with a flat expression. you lift up a bag, “you forgot your lunch. again. it’s been three times this week and it’s only wednesday.”

“as i was saying, she maimed my crotch permanently and lost any hope of mini me running around—”

“it was night and i got jumpscared by your radioactive blue eyes.”

“and then, she launched war on me and didn’t let me cuddle her.”

“because you came home bleeding with an injury that would worsen if i suffocated you.”

“and the worst of all,” gojo narrows his eyes at you, “she ate my kikifuku.”

“you’re a billionaire. just buy some more.” you shrug, placing the cover on his desk.

confusion lingers in the bemused side eyes of the students after the…interesting conversation.

“sure, they all sound heinous crimes…” yuji continues hesitantly, “but is it really worth breaking up over?”

“who said anything about breaking up? i just said that she wasn’t my girlfriend anymore.”

“now i’m even more convinced you were dropped on your head as a baby.” nobara blurts out but megumi’s eyes are already travelling to the ring on your finger, which gojo holds up to show off.

“she’s not my girlfriend anymore because she’s my wife!” he beams.

“fiancée.”

“for now.”

you roll your eyes but a fond smile blooms on your lips and gojo kisses your hand softly, “kids, say hi to mrs gojo. now i call dibs on yuji being the flower boy, megumi the ring bearer and nobara—”

“hold up. maybe we should think this through—”

“no wasting time. i need ijichi to sign the official babysitter documents for our future baby.”

“satoru!”

[astonmartinii]

but daddy i love him [guilty as sin part two] | charles leclerc social media au

pairing: charles leclerc x fem sainz!reader

when an unstoppable force (the sainz men when they feel aggrieved) meets an immovable object (charles and y/n)

MASTERLIST | SERIES MASTERLIST | TIP JAR

carlossainz55

liked by landonorris, marcmarquez93 and 783,409 others

carlossainz55: never forget where you came from

view all comments

user100: insert cricket noises here

user101: who on your PR team said this was a good idea?

user102: they need to be fired, sorry not sorry

landonorris: i love your dad (tell him to stop beating me at golf)

carlossainz55: if he never lets me win he's definitely never letting you win

landonorris: so unfair i thought i was the third sainz sibling :(

carlossainz55: i'm an only child

landonorris: oh-

user103: i need this man to choke i'm being so serious rn

user104: that's so unbelievably fucked

user105: the fact his dad is probably co-signing this shit is insane that's YOUR DAUGHTER

user106: also someone give lando a lil slap around he's on the wrong side of history on this one

yourusername: scandal does funny things to pride

carlossainz55: if the scandal is betraying your family that's all you

yourusername: if we're talking about betrayal then that's your specialist subject mr. i've cheated on every girl i've ever been with - and while we're on the topic of betrayal, yes i was the one who told them

carlossainz55: i've never cheated why are you stooping to lies?

yourusername: you did it right in front of my face when i was a part of this family

carlossainz55: so you've always been comfortable going behind my back

yourusername: that's the thing, when you're treated like you don't exist by your family you learn that blood is not thicker than water

carlossainz55: i can't wait for charles to cheat on you

yourusername: btw i already called marca, they know any of those allegations from you or dad are false - good luck!

user10: obvs i know they should be doing this in private but MORE DRAMA FOR ME BABY LETS KEEP THIS GOING

user107: thank you for the validation y/n i KNEW THE SHIT STIRRING COMING FROM THAT PAPER WAS THE SAINZ CAMP

user108: and they've got the nerve to be talking about stooping - the call is coming from inside the house

maxverstappen1: ugly twins

carlossainz55: really?

maxverstappen1: i said what i said and i mean what i said

carlossainz55: i would say she's not going to fuck you bro but you really never know with her

maxverstappen1: she would never, homewrecking is a trait only the male sainzs seem to have

user109: OOP

user110: max is a real lestappen queen fighting the battles he knows charles can't

yourusername

liked by pierregasly, maxverstappen1 and 893,405 others

tagged: charles_leclerc

yourusername: if you know within one glimpse, its legendary

view all comments

user114: i love how she goes from fighting her brother in one comment section to just showing off her hot bf

user115: tbf charles does have a face you'd go to war for so i get her

user116: i'd abandon my family for that face

yourusername: finally someone who fucking gets it

charles_leclerc: you made me believe in love at first sight

yourusername: awwwwww you're such a sweet talker the REAL smooth operator

pierregasly: i can verify it was love at first sight cause the man did not SHUT THE FUCK UP about you well... ever

charles_leclerc: is it a crime to love my girlfriend?

pierregasly: apparently!

yourusername: he's too cute to go to jail :(

charles_leclerc: they'd ruin me

yourusername: that's my job 🤨

pierregasly: you keep that to yourselves

user117: does this girl need to shade carlos on every single fucking post... yeah we get it he's the only reason you're relevant but god you reek of desperation

oscarpiastri: is this carlos' burner account?

user118: are the grid just sat around waiting to be tagged in to the fight against carlos?

oscarpiastri: what's he going to do? crash into me? he does that every weekend anyway

user119: uh oh carlos oscar is finally fighting back off track what are you going to do

user120: don't worry i'm sure he'll post a selfie with lando and try the whole carlando shtick to get some more PR points

maxverstappen1: oh this was not the shit slinging post i was hoping for

yourusername: something tells me you're having way too much fun with this

maxverstappen1: yeah you might have been abandoned by your family but have YOU considered that this is letting me express all my mean girl energy off track so i am level-headed on track

maxverstappen1: actually i don't even think i'm being mean tbf

yourusername: i'm glad my suffering could be your therapy

carlossainz55: BOO HOO you're not suffering ... it's something called the consequences of your actions (read: actions being a snakey slut)

yourusername: bro over here acting like i committed fratricide

maxverstappen1: TAP ME IN

maxverstappen1: not this man talking about the consequences of actions. kids, here's a little life lesson: if you spend all your time at your current job talking about how you have a much better job waiting for you and how you're too big for this job and plant stories about your co-workers, you can't be surprised that that same job doesn't want to keep you

carlossainz55: i am better than charles

yourusername: lying is a sin

maxverstappen1: and you're going straight to hell

user121: you guys might be mourning the loss of charlos (whatever the fuck that is) but i'm celebrating the absolute shit ton of LESTAPPEN we're getting

user122: max was like oh my bff is dating charles here's my excuse to be nice about him again

user123: if we're being real here the biggest crime of this whole situation is the fact that charles can't really dig the knife in

user124: @ silvia i have maybe £4.50 and a greggs sausage roll to my name but PLEASE LET CHARLES TAP IN

f1

liked by charles_leclerc, oscarpiastri and 1,298,006 others

tagged: oscarpiastri & carlossainz55

f1: f1... the sport that gives you just as much drama off track as we do on track!

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user125: at this point even before the whole carlos ousting his sister i think oscar was about 👌🏻 this close to rocking carlos nascar style we should let him do it

user126: i will personally pay his legal fees tbh

oscarpiastri: i'm only 23 i don't need two F1-related legal cases to my name

yourusername: i've watched legally blonde about ten billion times let me represent you

oscarpiastri: yeah sounds legit

user127: THAT'S IT WE NEED PROXIMITY CHAT IN F1

user128: the way we know there was a shit talking session like no other after this race

maxverstappen1: i don't kiss and tell but well - yes!

user128: okay since this is clearly a safe space... who was there please spill mr. verstappen

maxverstappen1: ME! charles, pierre, oscar, checo, alex and george!

user128: why the fuck were the last two there?

georgerussell63: i was on official GDPA duty 🤓

alexalbon: that's a lie we're just very nosey

yourusername: they're the biggest PTA moms ever don't even lie

georgerussell63: yes i'll make allergy friendly cupcakes for the bake sale but i'll also spit in them and gossip about your cheating husband - sorry about it!

alexalbon: he's not

georgerussell63: i'm not

user129: carlos slagging off y/n but she's really brought the grid together

user130: george and alex being like we do not care about that but we do want the latest scoop

alexalbon: oh don't get it twisted we're firmly team y/n

user131: we even got the f1 admin in on the drama

carlossainz55: she's probably fucking them as well

yourusername: BORING get a new bit babe

carlossainz55: if i see whore i'm going to say whore

yourusername: aren't you still in that damn stewards office?

carlossainz55: tell your little lap dog to keep his front wing away from my car and maybe i wouldn't

oscarpiastri: suck my dick

yourusername: now that's true poetry

user132: oH!

yourusername

liked by maxverstappen1, alexalbon and 763,409 others

tagged: charles_leclerc, logansargent & oscarpiastri

yourusername: florida !!!!!!!!!!! is one hell of a drug. no seriously what is in the water here i keep picking up these little guys everywhere i go

view all comments

user135: she's really like i AM spanish and i will colonise this grid

user136: stealing all the lil cuties for her cause

oscarpiastri: proud to be a part of this weird little circus thing we've got going on

yourusername: oh dibs on ring master

logansargent: i feel like my name is written all over tight rope walking

yourusername: okay yes skinny legend

maxverstappen1: obvs we're a cruelty free circus so no lions but if there were lions, that's me babe

maxverstappen1: SOME people could learn... cough, cough trophy hunters

charles_leclerc: idk i'll just take the one where i can sit there and be pretty

yourusername: and you would be the best at it

oscarpiastri: which one does the least? i'll take that one

user137: bro can we slow the fuck down i was just getting over osc telling carlos to suck his dick now we're talking CIRCUS?

user138: for real couldn't it have at least been cabaret i wanna see ALL of that

charles_leclerc: 🤨

carlossainz55: i think a circus is a perfect way to describe your desperate attempt to stay relevant

yourusername: don't you have a job to go to? oh wait...

carlossainz55: as if i'm threatened by a group with the likes of logan sargent in it

logansargent: bit harsh, i'm a nice guy (unlike some)

yourusername: carlos here's a little bit of a wild thing i'm about to introduce to you.... people have friends?

yourusername: also you WISH you had a face card like logie

carlossainz55: i have friends?

yourusername: no you have PR strategies, there's a difference

carlossainz55: bro learnt the word PR and ran with it

yourusername: tell me one person who would let you crash on their couch?

yourusername: QUICKLY.

fernandoalo_oficial: and don't even think about mentioning me

user139: she hit him with the bianca del rio

user140: OOP and also nando just popping up out of nowhere to diss carlos and never say anything again

charles_leclerc: the drug in question being puppy fever

maxverstappen1: tell me you didn't get a dog

yourusername: boy do i have news for you

carlossainz55: are you trying to baby trap him

yourusername: first woman in history to birth a dog you heard it here first

charles_leclerc: you simply can't be babytrapped when you would literally jump off a bridge if asked to

user141: @myboyfriend TAKE NOTES HONEY ^^^

charles_leclerc

liked by maxverstappen1, landonorris and 1,745,093 others

tagged: yourusername & oscarpiastri

charles_leclerc: two kids in one month? someone stop us

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user142: y/n really lost an apartment and a brother and gained about 27 f1 drivers and a dog

user143: glow up of the century some might say

liked by charles_leclerc

yourusername: soz it's a coping mechanism

charles_leclerc: and that's okay <3

maxverstappen1: anything to help with that emotional CONSTIPATION

yourusername: have you tried to live with those narcissistic and emotionally unavailable men?

maxverstappen1: you're asking the wrong person that question honey

yourusername: girl are WE good?

maxverstappen1: no

yourusername: BUT THAT'S OKAY

charles_leclerc: not to rain on this parade but i think therapy would really be a positive move here

user144: i feel bad for charles cause i know these hoes are the type to just tell each other EXACTLYYYYY when they make poor decisions

maxverstappen1: true, no smart bitches would let their bff live with THAT man

yourusername: and let their bff constantly chat shit and ruin their image

maxverstappen1: can't ruin my image if i'm spitting FACTS

user145: max will nawt let this go

maxverstappen1: i'll forget you but i'll never forgive the smallest man who ever lived

yourusername: GIRL

maxverstappen1: whoops, one sec. spoiler alert: y/n unleased poetry. trigger warning: c*rlos s*inz

olliebearman: ollie bearman erasure

charles_leclerc: GASP OLLIE I AM SO SORRY

yourusername: no he actually is he's crying

charles_leclerc: it's the pregnancy hormones

olliebearman: it's okay i swear

charles_leclerc: I'M A TERRIBLE FATHER

carlossainz55: i could've told you that for free

olliebearman: why are you in our family buisness

user146: charles is channelling all of his carlos rage through ollie oh my

olliebearman: i am a happy conduit for my father who is in the ferrari PR jail

yourusername: can we send carlos here and throw away the key?

user147: charles is really out there like keep my girl's name out of your mouth cause even the bitch who stole your seat for a weekend is my SON

user148: y/n wasn't joking about with this grid domination

user149: but also i'm glad all of this fun stuff is happening amongst all of the shit that's been thrown at her from her family

oscarpiastri: a leclerc and proud (i race like my dad and throw shade like my mum)

yourusername: the best way to be

charles_leclerc: proud of you, you're such a good dog brother :)

oscarpiastri: i've just learnt to be patient after alpine and lando

yourusername: you still took your shoes being leo's personal bathroom really well

oscarpiastri: he's too cute to be mad at

yourusername

liked by maxverstappen, charles_leclerc and 824,109 others

tagged: charles_leclerc

yourusername: first mother's day with my boys

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user150: gonna enjoy this super wholesome post before... he... ruins it

user151: manifesting a y/n post without that bitter old hag in the comment section

charles_leclerc: the best mother for our fur baby and our miscellaneous other children

yourusername: only the best with you :(

charles_leclerc: ugh i love you so much

yourusername: i love you even more

user152: they're so fucking cute

user153: damn carlos i too would be angry if my baby sister and my teammate outshined my third PR relationship in six months

user154: the sainz family have generational levels of hating, but one does it for good (poetry) and one does it for bad (anything carlos ever says)

oscarpiastri: happiest mother's day to my grid mum! here's to reading them to filth xx

yourusername: OSC!! i always knew you were my favourite aussie

danielricciardo: did my enchante PR mean nothing?

yourusername: i mean i wear it all of the time... but it's osc ...

danielricciardo: true, i broke my hand before i could even think of accidentally hurting him

user155: also babe is looking so unbothered, moisturised and free we need the skin care routine

oscarpiastri: the tears of carlos sainz

yourusername: and cleansing your life of toxic family members

user156: okay clearly oscar was done with the whole "i'm so chill" bit cause since his adoption by charles and y/n he's been non stop on carlos' neck

oscarpiastri: i'm a ride or die for my mum cry about it

maxverstappen1: as the kids would say ... mother is mothering? @olliebearman did i do it right?

charles_leclerc: stop trying to steal my kids

maxverstappen1: BRO I'M TRYING TO COMPLIMENT YOUR GIRLFRIEND

charles_leclerc: that's literally my job 🤨

yourusername: tbf i'll take as many compliments as i can

charles_leclerc: are mine not enough?

yourusername: when you've got a self esteem this low, you gotta take what you can get

charles_leclerc: oh :(

user157: max and y/n fighting over who trauma dumps more about their upbringing

carlossainz55: this bit is very tiring. you'll be a terrible mother and all these people you think are your friends will drop you as soon as they know who you really are.

yourusername: you done?

carlossainz55: as you loveeeee to point out, i don't have much to lose anymore so i really wouldn't test me

yourusername: trying to make me homeless and stealing all of my money wasn't enough?

carlossainz55: charles will know the truth soon enough and you won't have us to come crying to

yourusername: i'll take those chances thank you

user158: hold ON what do you mean stole all her money

yourusername: i was never allowed my own bank account so all my earnings have gone to them!

user159: okay that's it WE RIDE AT DAWN

fin.

note: oh girl life has been BUSY!!! i just got a new job and have been looking desperately for a flat to move out to. also i've had family visiting and going here, there and everywhere. but i hope you enjoy! this was a lil more light-hearted lol (until the end) so enjoy the addition of the leclerc family lore xx

ALSO i wanted to say a massive THANK YOU FOR 6,000 FOLLOWERS love you all <3

note: hiii extra note from me here. first, i will fix this tag list at some point idk why it's not working rn. secondly, i have been made aware by multiple people that there is a series just like this one down to characters and the name of the series on here and i can't lie i'm bummed about it. as i said on the first part (?) this is an idea i've had since the release of TTPD (and people will back me up on this) so it bums me out that there are blatant copies coming out! i'm all for inspiration but sometimes there's a difference between taking inspo and copying especially when my masterlist was posted ages ago and my first part was posted on the 9th of may.... anyways that's all i have to say! enjoy xx

taglist: in comments!