#bad happened to them

[treibholz-des-universums]

NIKO SASAKI AND EDWIN PAYNE Dead Boy Detectives (2024-)

[chloesimaginationthings]

The Mikes and Vanessas celebrate 10 years of FNAF!

[artisfaction]

This shoot is fantastic, it looks like a still from a Wes Anderson film.

So I couldn't help myself. Tadda:

[giantkillerjack]

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

[dyn3m1ght]

THEY WERE SO FUCKING CUTE

[lieu-rey]

first meeting

[nidbaesenpai]

Dare you say this love could just save you

[phantomrose96]

I don’t know anything about Pikmin but the art style is so cute. I just want a pikmin plush to hold in my two hands and squeeze with all my heart is that so bad?

No you are completely right. They are cute. They are so cute and should be hugged and protected do not look up the game mechanics. Do not look up the Pikmin game mechanics the Pikmin are always safe and happy

[skogensro]

accidental post-war movie night sleepover

[idliketobeatree]

i'm living the dream, in the dream, i'm buried alive two bed grave, one bath, car in the drive mirrored covered windows block the light feeding back reflection distorts life cut connection — jesca hoop

[definetelynotavampire]

// bsd ch 118

Basically found family/ brothers ♡

[echoes-of-the-unknown]

These guys practically drew themselves being too sweet for words

[chloesimaginationthings]

Vanny’s story in FNAF help wanted summed up

[littlefankingdom]

I feel like everytime the batkids are together in the comics and Bruce tells them to not do something, just after he left, Dick turns to his siblings to be like "So, what we do here is never listen to B. So we are going to do it." and one of them will be like "This is not going to end well.", and they follow Dick in the danger Bruce told them to stay away from.

It's incredible how Bruce still trust Dick SO MUCH when he is pulling this bs ALL THE TIME.

[blueskittlesart]

zl wedding (again)

[shweshishweh]

I’ve had these concepts in my drafts for almost a year 💀