#based on my own experiences as a kid lol

[needletongues]

thought about this and then did not have the energy to fully execute it. oh well

[gomzdrawfr]

🦁

[rioblitzle]

the thing about chatfics is that I don't dislike them in concept- I actually think the format of a group chat is a very creative and fun one for comedic or storytelling potential- however, almost every one I've tried to read writes every single character with the distinct texting voice of a teenager or maybe 20 something and when you've got middle aged or very offline characters involved that is such an immersion dealbreaker to me

[grimgummies]

YIPPEE MORTIS ANGST!!! :D

HELLO you want to see my poor son suffering,, Enduring the worst times of his life,, Dealing with everything he was put through on his own cuz he had literally NOBODY to go to

Because if so...

So do I lol

[onepiexe]

i havent done anything manual labor in so long

[mushroom-soup-is-my-religion]

Writing ^-^

[mikuyuuss]

I love that Mitsuri is a little silly and stupid at times, shes a girlboss AND a girlfailure to me <3 but apparently there are some people that genuinely dislike her for those things? I understand Mitsuri's character isn't for everyone, BUT WAIT, HEAR ME OUT.

I've always had this headcanon that Mitsuri had a somewhat sheltered childhood growing up, since In the Rengoku Gaiden, she randomly got discriminated by a stranger for her hair color, so I can only imagine that she probably got that on a daily basis.

I'm sure Mitsuri's parents don't enjoy seeing their eldest daughter bring harassed, so perhaps they might have coddled her a bit. Maybe that could explain why Mitsuri comes off as childish, innocent or """"stupid"""" as many people would say. For me, it's more like her personality just screams "sheltered kid", through no fault of her own tho.

(this is taken from the second fanbook, translated by @/violetheart08)

The fact that she's happy to have friends at the corps, suggests to me that she probably didn't have many friends growing up, she most likely got bullied too, and if that's the case, it's understandable that she can come across as overly friendly and excitable whenever she's befriending new people.

She's actually socially awkward like Giyuu, but just on the opposite end of the spectrum lol, that's why I love them both.

But still, it's not that Mitsuri is straight up incompetent. She's very creative and thinks outside of the box with her breathing style. She also adapts pretty well in high stress situations, we saw this in swordsmith arc, but also we see this very clearly in the Rengoku Gaiden too.

The fact that it only took her two years to become a hashira shows that she has a level of discipline to attain that title. Not only did Rengoku trained her well, this is also no feat that a truly "stupid" person can achieve.

The reason why I have this particular headcanon about Mitsuri is because some families do put A LOT of importance on reputation, especially asian families, when their kids start showing traits that would make them "different" they tend to "hide" the kids in order to protect their reputation so they won't lose their chances at marriage.

(Though I'm not saying all asian families are like this. This is mostly just based on my personal experience that I won't elaborate further)

It reminded me of this scene, when Mitsuri's family suggested that she can just stay with them forever when she was worried that she won't be able to find someone. I love Mitsuri's parents and they are VERY GREAT for their time, but also this is really relatable to me personally :(

And given how marriage was such a big deal in Taisho era, I imagine that it was a mixture of that and the pressure to conform and protect their daughter at the same time that led me to imagine that Mitsuri probably had a sheltered lifestyle.

And you know it's possible that I'm wrong about all of these lmao, but just the fact that she has a comparably normal childhood is a good enough reason as to why she's more positive and naive compared to her peers. I know this is all just a headcanon, but I do wish people can be a bit more considerate towards Mitsuri before hating on her for being "loud" "stupid" and "annoying"

[ito-itonomen]

I recently read that blood can hypothetically be used in Baking as a substitute for eggs and this obviously reminded me of toh bc it's been over a year and that show still lives in my frontal lobe lmao

Like, when I first heard Lilith talking about making all those blood based recipes w Gwendolyn I thought "yeah that checks out it's the boiling isles where people eat spiders and eyeballs why wouldn't they cook with blood too"

But now I'm actually thinking it could be deeper than that?

Griffin eggs are expensive, they're not cheap to keep in the house and they're an awkward size too, once you crack one open, you can't exactly use part of it and then store the rest for later, at least not easily, and even so it would spoil quickly. (This I know from experience due to some expiriments in curing egg yolks lol)

Spiders have been mentioned to give milk, and it's likely that spider eggs are also sold, probably pretty damn cheap in bulk too, but spider eggs are more similar to fish roe, and wouldn't be any good for baking.

So, what do you do if you're from a poor or lower income household and want to make a batch of cookies or maybe a cake for your kid's birthday?

You use blood. A cheap, easy to come by staple in any market, available in all varieties from fruit blood to livestock, can be kept in a frozen until you need it, and full of nutrients and similar enough in the makeup of it's proteins to be used as a substitute for eggs.

And magic has been able to keep food frozen for hundreds of generations. Only wealthier individuals might know a good baking recipe involving eggs, but every common witch and their mother has some old box or notebook tucked away in the kitchen containing some faded recipe in great great grandma Meabh's handwriting for a nice blood velvet cake or blood sugar cookie.

In summery I think that in the owl house universe baking with blood is actually a charming practice rooted in multigenerational witch culture and a staple of hard times.

The only reason we wouldn't see Eda cooking with blood, naturally, would be due to Luz's dietary restrictions forcing her to go the much more expensive route but I bet king has all sorts of cute childhood memories of Eda baking those old family recipes from her own childhood and the smell of bloody sausages for breakfast and fango-blood bread on a rainy day

[thesmollestsnek]

Death echoes

So a while ago, i found this dp x dc post that had a really interesting lore headcanon for Danny’s ghostly wail. Idk if I’ll be able to find it again, I’ll link it here if I do, but essentially it posited that every ghost has something called a “death echo”, which is an ability unique to them based heavily on their deaths. These echoes are the most powerful move in a ghost’s moveset, but they’re also extremely volatile and draining, typically damaging the ghost in some way when used, with Danny’s being his Wail because he died screaming. The original post then went on to some really cool halfa!Jason ideas based on these death echoes, but for this lil snippet with an extremely long intro I’d like to focus on Danny a bit more.

Edit: Apparently I may have extrapolated a lot of the actual lore behind these death echos myself? The inspiration post was a lot longer in my memories. Or I might've mushed multiple posts into one mental box and then forgot lol. So a lot of the actual detail from this point on is seemingly mostly original material? I think? Idk man, sometimes my brain spits out information without giving me any clues as to where it got that information. Anyway, this post got kinda long and since I'm... decently sure this is where I shifted from summarizing @ailithnight's post to writing all my own thoughts I figured here would be a good place to throw the cut lol.

So! with all of the context-for-the-context out of the way, let’s move on to the actual context for what I’m writing cause I can’t be bothered with writing an intro XD

Essentially, this is an au where Danny is an established member of the Justice League, or maybe one of the teen hero teams? I’m a slut for eternal teenager Danny, but maybe he’s enough of a powerhouse to be on the main team despite him both looking and acting like the dumbass fourteen year old he died as. Either way, he’s on a League/League-sanctioned mission and things go bad. Like, everyone-almost-dies bad. And so as a final desperation attack, Danny uses his Wail, a power he’s never told anyone on the league he even has. And it works, and they make it out, but after the fact everyone has. Questions. And because in this au death echoes are deeply personal, Danny dodges those questions, but the league coughbatmancough isn’t satisfied with that. So they push for answers. Answers Danny’s not willing to give, because. In my mind death echoes aren’t just based on how a person died, but also their experience of that death. What their last thoughts were. When Danny died the only thing that he could process beyond just an all-encompassing painpainpainpainpain was the sound of someone screaming. His screaming. And so his death echo is the sound of a fourteen year old child screaming in deathly pain and terror weaponized, which definitely gave the league Even More Questions than they would’ve had already. Which finally brings us to the actual snippet, which is a conversation between John Constantine, who was brought in for his experience with the supernatural once it became clear Danny wasn’t going to talk, and Danny himself. 

~~~~~~~

“So, kid. Batsy tells me you’ve been hiding some of your abilities, wanna tell me what's up with that? Call it an occultist's intuition, but somethin’ tells me you’re not just being stubborn for the hell of it.”

“It’s... complicated. And not anyone’s business, either!”

“Kid...”

“Why does it even matter?! It’s not something I want to or am even able to do on a regular basis! I saved the mission, can’t they just accept that and move on???”

Sighing, Constantine reached up to start massaging his brow. “Kid, you and I both know that ain’t gonna be enough. Now I know that some things are better left alone, but the rest of these idiots? They can’t accept that, Batsy especially. That man’s never left bloody well enough alone in his life”

He looked up just in time to see the otherworldly teen shrink into himself, looking every bit the child he was. “I know but... why? Why do they need to keep asking questions? And why do they only ask the ones that hurt to answer?”

A sharp glance. “The fuck kinda questions are they asking? Batman was speaking in more grunt than word, so I didn’t really catch all the details of what this power you’re supposedly hiding even is.”

Phantom shrinks even more into himself at that, and responds in a voice so small it’s more sigh than speech. “I... I can scream. And it breaks things and pushes people back. But it, it sounds. Bad. And it brings up bad memories and I don’t like to do it or listentoitoreventhinkaboutitandtheywon’tletmeforgetand-”

“Breathe kid. I know you don’t need to but just take a deep breath with me. Don’t you go getting lost in your own head on me now., Constantine reassured the kid automatically, the sheer hopelessness prompting action long before the words themselves could be understood. Then the rest of him caught up, and he had to pause. Looked up at the kid, saw just how distressed he was. A picture was starting to form in the back of his head, and Constantine didn’t like what he saw one bit. A last-resort power that the normally open Phantom was strangely reticent about. A scream so horrible sounding the rest of the league would not to stop asking questions about it. Terrible memories to match said scream. And one truly miserable child who couldn’t bear to even think about any of it. 

“Phantom... is that your Echo? Screaming?”

A miserable nod is his only response, the tears that had been welling up in the kid’s eyes finally starting to fall. Cursing softly to himself, Constantine stood to leave, bracing himself for the Bat’s inevitable questioning. “Well then you just take all the time you need love, and leave the rest to me. I’ll make sure the rest of those idiots know not to ask you about this ever again.”  And with that Constantine turned and strode towards the door, leaving the quietly sobbing child to collect himself in privacy.

~~~~~

I had a whole-ass lore dump conversation between Constantine and Batman planned here, explaining how death echoes are deeply personal, and asking about one is a taboo on par with, potentially even worse than, asking a ghost about their death outright. Because they are formed from an amalgamation of how a ghost died, their last thoughts, and their final emotions, in some ways asking a ghost about their Echo is like asking them to describe their death in painstaking detail. But uhhh... inspiration bug left. So yea. Side note, I’d like to apologize if my depiction of Constantine’s accent was Bad, I’m but a lowly USAmerican whose only exposure to British accents is through tv ^-^’

[damiansgoodgirll]

can you please write about rhea x reader where rhea is into women let’s pretend!! and reader is her best friend and she doesn’t know if she’s straight or bisexual because like she’s attracted to women but she can’t understand so she’s very naive and she asks rhea for help? it can be fluff and smut i really don’t care! thank you so much if you do this ❤️❤️

rhea ripley x reader

‼️this is based off on some experiences i had lol, mention of sex, sweet rhea, i need her in my life lol, slow burn? kinda long-ish i guess and smut so stay away kids‼️

new experiences

“what you mean you don’t know?” rhea asked, sitting on the couch right facing you.

“it means i don’t know!” you kept pacing around and honestly rhea couldn’t handle it anymore.

“it’s a simple question, are you attracted by women the same way you are attracted by men?” she asked, again.

“again, rhea…i don’t know…yes, i guess” you replied.

“okay, let me ask you this…does liv, becky, shayna…i don’t know, beyonce, attract you?” she asked.

“i mean…yes, they’re all attractive women, like damian and finn are handsome men but that doesn’t mean i want to be with them…you know, sexually” you said, avoiding her look.

so this is what it was about.

rhea always knew you were attracted physically both by men and women. she knew, you didn’t. but as far as she can remember you always dated men, you’ve never been with a woman before and she knew this thing was scaring you.

“what is exactly that you don’t know love?” she asked, a little more serious.

“i don’t know if - well - if i like women the same way i like men you know? everytime i see a good looking woman around i wonder what it would feel like dating her you know? like, dating a woman in general because it’s new to me…and i don’t understand, i can’t understand if what i feel is just simple attraction or something more…” you said, giving up and sitting next to her on the couch, facing her “it’s not just about being attracted by them…who wouldn’t be attracted by beyonce?” you joked, making rhea laugh too “but i don’t know if i would like something more the same way i would simply date a man…”

“have you ever tried? have you ever met a woman that your mind, said - fuck , i wanna date her and have sex with her so bad!?” she asked you.

“not really…because i don’t what i’m feeling…it’s all so confusing”

“i know, i’ve been there…and it took time for me too you know…you should start experiencing…meeting new people, meet a woman who can actually help you and have your mind cleared” she said, cringing at her own words.

rhea always had the biggest crush on you but she never said anything, until now at least. she didn’t know what you were feeling and she didn’t want to confuse you but the fact that you just confessed to her that you were “possibly” into women just made it easier for her.

“don’t you think i’m way past my age to experiment? this is something you do when you’re sixteen” you joked.

“absolutely no…i didn’t realise what i liked until i was twenty…it’s never too late love”

“okay…then how would i be able to meet women? how do you do it? gay bars? that would just make me really uncomfortable…i don’t know if…or even what i’m doing…” you asked her desperately.

“gay bars?” she laughed “what kind of shows are you watching?” you looked at her weirdly “yes, gay bars are a thing, and they’re actually very helpful if you just want to have and sex and then never see each other again…it’s not where i would start tho…maybe you can download some meeting app, you know start from there and see where it goes”

“i would love to do that rhea but the problem still remains…i don’t have experience with women! i don’t know where to start or what to do and honestly i don’t see myself opening up to them the same way i’m doing with you right now, i love talking and doing this with you because you’re not judging me and i’ve known you for years and i always knew you wouldn’t judge me for something like this but i don’t know what their intentions are…maybe i should just drop it…” you said, exhausted.

“you shouldn’t drop it…not if it’s making you feel like that, it’s okay and normal to be confused love…” she smiled at you.

“i know that but”

“no buts…you’re confused and i get it, it will take some time maybe for you to get to know you better but i promise you, in the end will be worth it” she said “plus sex with women is more pleasurable than sex with men” she joked, making you blush.

“that’s what i’m talking bout re! how am i supposed to know what it feels like if i never got the chance to experience it?” you said throwing your hands up.

she simply laughed. she didn’t expect you to over react about something like that. being curious? yes, but over reacting? she wasn’t expecting it at all.

“okay…let me ask you this simple question” she said and you nodded “have you ever kissed a girl? like in the past…a friend maybe?”

“never”

“never?”

“no rhea, never…” you said.

“not even as a joke?” she asked again.

“no…that’s probably why i’m also so confused…i told you, i never had any kind of experience…”

“would you like?” she asked.

“to what? kiss a woman?” you sarcastically replied and she nodded.

“kiss me” she smiled and your jaw dropped.

“are you sure?”

“i’m sure…you’re my best friend” how painful it was for her to say that “and since you’ve spent the last hour complaining how you never got to experience that, let me help you”

“won’t this ruin our friendship?” you asked a little worried.

“why would it ruin our friendship? it’s just a kiss…it doesn’t mean anything right?” she said and you nodded.

it means everything to me - she screamed internally.

“okay, you’re right…” you smiled at her as she moved closer to you. her hand gently caressing your cheek making you shiver “don’t be scared” she encouraged you “it’s like you’re kissing a man”

“but it’s not” you whispered “you’re not a man…”

“oh really?” she smirked, making you laugh “hey…if you want to stop or if i’m making you uncomfortable please let me know…it’s the last thing i wanna do” she said and you nodded.

it’s not like she wanted to take advantage of you or the situation - maybe a little - but you’ve been driving her crazy for the past years and now she saw a little hope to have a future with you. she knew she had to play her cards very well otherwise she would fuck up everything and the last thing she wanted to do was to scare you away.

“come closer…” she whispered “it’s okay love” you did as she told and moved closer to her. you were now face to face and having her so close was making you feel things…

“it’s just a kiss” she whispered softly and before you could say something back she laid her lips on yours. it took you a few seconds to reciprocate but you couldn’t deny how good you were feeling. when she felt how positively you were reacting, she deepened the kiss, teasing your lips with her tongue, asking for permission. you definitely didn’t back up. you let her do it, smiling into the kiss. her hands went behind your back, making you come closer to her body while your hands went back into her hair, softly massaging her scalp, making her whimper into your mouth.

you broke the kiss just to catch your breath and in that moment you realised in what kind of weird position you got yourself into.

if it was just a kiss why were you now straddling her lap?

“so?” she asked you, breathing.

“it was good” you smiled.

“yeah? you liked that?”

“yes but…”

“but?”

“i need something” she didn’t even let you finish.

“more?” she smiled.

“more” you nodded.

“do you trust me y/n?” she asked you, making sure you were comfortable.

“i do”

“good…lay on the couch for me beautiful” she said and you did as she told you.

“rhea?”

“mh?”

“are you sure this isn’t going to ruin our friendship? i care too much about you and i don’t want anything to change between us…” you said timidly.

“i promise you, this isn’t changing anything, i’m giving you the experiences you wanted to experience” she smirked and she smiled at you “but if at any point you want me to stop, you need to tell me okay? i don’t want to make you uncomfortable love” you nodded at her words.

she kissed you again, softly, biting your lips and sucking on them, making you shiver. it’s not the first time you’ve been kissed, but it was so different with her that you liked it even more.

“what do you usually like when you’re with men?” she asked softly.

“i-uhm…i don’t - i don’t know…”

“girl” she joked “i need more than that” making you laugh “what do you usually like when you’re having sex with men? there must be something you like the most…”

“i mean…we just have sex…” and in that moment rhea realised how important talking about this was. by the answers you gave her, she understood how you’ve never had this kind of conversations with your previous partners, making her wonder if they even knew what you liked or not. a part of her hated how careless your partners had been with you, they didn’t even take time to learn your body and that was making her mad.

“how does it feel when they first penetrate you?” she asked, your eyes opening to watch her.

“i mean…good? what kind of question is this” you slightly laughed.

“does it hurt? how is your body responding to that?”

“it hurts…but just for a moment, i think it’s normal tho…” you said, not sure of anything.

“yeah, if you’re a virgin…i’m not saying this to make you feel bad but your exes were pretty bad in bed, did they at least took time in getting you wet enough for them?” she couldn’t believe of what she was hearing.

“if they wanted -…”

“if they wanted? i’m so happy you’re single at the moment, please, stay single for a while” she joked again making you chuckle “forget about everything you know…i’m showing you how good sex can actually be” she said and you nodded.

she continued kissing you, not rushing anything. she wanted to take her time with you, making you feel good, showing you how sex was supposed to be. bonus point that you were her crush and she actually wanted to make you her priority.

she slowly began kissing your neck, leaving soft marks and bites. she was observing the way your body was reacting to her, watching if she was making you uncomfortable but when she saw no sign of hesitation, she continued.

“can i remove your top beautiful?” she asked gently and you nodded. she saw you in just your lingerie before but this was a completely different situation. her eyes fell open when she saw the black lacy bra that you were wearing. it was made for you.

she began kissing your breast, leaving marks and bites, making your whole body shiver.

“is it okay if i remove it?” she asked.

“yes” you barely whispered. lucky she was so close to you otherwise she wouldn’t have been able to hear you.

she let your bra fall onto the floor as she slowly teased your nipples, making them hard. she loved the effect she was having on you.

you, on the other hand, were more than confused. you loved everything that she was doing to you, but you realised that maybe you were loving it because it was her who was doing it with you. you always thought she was a beautiful woman but nothing more than that. you’ve never even thought about what it would have been like dating her and having a life with her.

your core pooled at just the idea of what rhea had in mind for you, and, smart as she was, she sensed it.

her soft lips touching and sucking on your nipples, making you moan in pleasure. her tongue traced your soft stomach, prepping it in kisses, making you feel loved.

her hands went to unbutton your pants, tracing them down and discarding them somewhere on the floor.

“rhea?” you softly called her.

“yes?”

“what-what…uhm…how do women do this?” she swore she tried her best not to laugh, not at you but she thought you looked cute when you were curious and, in some ways, innocent “don’t laugh” you scolded her.

“i’m sorry love…see, we have different ways of doing it, i can show you some…” she placed a gentle kiss over your thigh and you nodded.

her hands slowly moved your panties down, her face shocked when she saw how wet you were, and she barely touched you yet. she kept kissing your thighs but you stopped her the moment she was about to kiss your pussy.

“rhea?”

“mh?”

“what…what are you doing?” you whispered. everything was kinda new to you.

“what you mean?” she asked confused.

“i mean…is it normal? like, you know, what you’re about to do…no one ever done it so…i was just wondering” you confessed.

she was shocked.

no one’s ever went down on you and this was making everything even more exciting for her cause she had the opportunity to show you everything new.

“it’s more than normal baby” she reassured you “and i’m so mad that no one ever done this to you…if you were my girl i would spend hours buried in this sweet pussy” she said before gently kissing your clit, making you shiver.

she kept teasing you until you begged her for something more. and she listened to you begging as it was a preyer. she started sucking and licking at your clit, making you arch your back.

silently you were cursing your ex boyfriend for never doing this to you but in some way, you were actually happy that rhea was doing it to you instead.

your moans were filling the room. rhea’s experienced tongue continued the work while her eyes were switching from being close to watch your face.

to her, you were the most beautiful person in the world. especially in that moment.

mouth open, eyes closed, your hands grabbing and holding tightly the pillows on her couch, your legs beginning to shake.

it was pure bliss for you but it was pure bliss for rhea too.

“rhea…i-i think” you couldn’t even speak properly “i’m -…”

“i know princess…i can feel it, just let it go” she whispered against your pussy, making you come right there.

“oh fuck…” you moaned, your legs tightening around her head as you were shaking.

rhea helped you recoveries from your orgasm but didn’t stop there as one of her finger teased your entrance.

before you could say anything she silenced you with a kiss “you taste so sweet baby, you’re like a drug to me…taste yourself on me” and you did as she said. you could taste it on her tongue and it was making you trembling all over again.

“give me another one…” she whispered this time against your neck. her middle finger entering you in a swift move. gently thrusting in and out, her thumb circling your swollen clit. her free hand went to the back of your head, moving you closer to her face, she was making you watch her.

she needed so see how good she was making you feel.

“open your eyes love” she teased “look at me” and so you did.

it was hard keeping your eyes open, specially when she added a second finger inside of you.

“rhea…oh fuck”

“that good uh?” she smirked.

how she wished she could have you naked on her couch every single day.

“please…”

“please what love?”

you don’t know what you were begging her for, you just loved the way she was making you feel and even if it was a little too much, you couldn’t help but ask for more.

“don’t stop…please”

“i don’t plan on doing so…” she smirked keeping her eyes on you. staring at her was making you wetter and you felt you were about to come any second.

“rhea…” you moaned.

your mouth fell open and the your head touching the pillows beneath you. it was a silent scream, your breath sucking it and your eyes squeezing so hard. rhea thought for a moment that she broke you.

she was watching carefully how your body was reacting to the aftermath of your second orgasm. you were shaking and your breath still uneven.

when you opened your eyes again you saw her right in front of you.

“you okay there?”

“more than okay…” you whispered, still catching your breath.

“so…this is just a few ways of how we enjoy sex” she cracked a joke making you laugh.

“there more?”

“many” she whispered against your lips, kissing you softly “but i think it’s enough for today…”

“wait-…”

“is everything okay?” she asked a little worried.

“you didn’t…how can i…?”

she stopped you before you could continue “it’s not about me today, it’s about you. hopefully i’ve helped you a little more with your sexuality, or maybe i’ve confused you a little more…and if you want to learn more on how to please a woman i’ll be happy to help you out” she winked at you “but for today i think it’s enough…you’ve been so good to me, and i thank you so much for trusting me with this”

you took a few minutes to realise just how much care rhea was putting into this. it wasn’t just her helping you out with your sexuality, you realised there was something more. some unspoken words between the two of you. the way she was treating you, with such care and almost…love.

a tear fell from your eyes and rhea noticed too.

“hey…is everything okay?” she worried, thinking that maybe she overstepped too much and made you uneasy.

“yes…” you quickly wiped your tear as you slowly covered yourself with a blanket “it’s just…it’s more than okay…rhea, i can’t help you enough for this”

“you don’t have to-…”

“i have to…because for the first time in my life i’ve felt like someone really cared about me and i loved it…and i know i shouldn’t say this to you because you are my best friend and there’s nothing between us but you really made me feel loved…and i liked it” and in that moment you understood, it was rhea.

it has always been rhea.

the reason you were so comfortable around her, it came naturally. the way she always treated you, making you feel special, in some of her ways. it was her that you wanted, not any woman, but her.

you just didn’t want to admit it to yourself. maybe because you feared her rejection, or maybe because you feared your own rejection of liking women. but it didn’t matter anymore, not when you were feeling like that.

“i really care about you y/n…way more than just a friend” she confessed.

“what?”

“it shocked me that you didn’t realise it before. i’ve never dated other women because the only one i wanted was you” she said, timidly.

“but you’ve been with other women before…”

“nothing lasted tho” she said “not when those women weren’t you…”

“you mean that?”

“i mean everything i said. everything ive done with you tonight…it wasn’t just for a night…i’m here to help you to get to know yourself better, to teach you if you want to learn, i will always be here for you love…we don’t have to rush anything, we can take it slow and see how things go…if you want me” you’ve never seen rhea so vulnerable before and seeing this side of her was making you realise that you didn’t fully know her.

but god how you liked her. how you liked this new side of her, how you liked the protective side of her when you two went out, how she knew how to treat you.

“yes…yes i want this rhea…just…it’s all new for me, can we take things slow?” you hesitated asking her this. she said it wasn’t a problem but you’ve never met someone who was willing to take time in get to fully know you.

“love…come here” she hugged you “i promise you i will be patient with you…i want this new experience to be enjoyable for you, i don’t want to pressure you or anything…i promise you” she kissed you, softly. her hand caressing your cheek.

“okay…” you whispered.

“okay” she smiled against your lips.

maybe, for the first time in your life, you found someone who was really interested in getting to know you better, and you couldn’t believe that the person you were talking about was rhea.

[heesdreamer]

HOMES NOT HOME

PAIRING ➩ jay x reader

SUMMARY ➩ recently smitten with the most popular guy on campus, park sunghoon, you’re struck with the rumor that he only likes girls with experience. your only option is to ask your best friend for help.

WARNINGS ➩ smut and uhh i can’t remember honestly lol nothing crazy

WC ➩ 15.7k

AUTHORS NOTE ➩ loosely based and named after this song so listen if you’d like. my mental health has been bad so this isn’t proofread AT ALL and it was written in tiny fragments over the week instead of my normal one sitting so sorry if it’s not consistent or choppy

“I need you to have sex with me.”

You were stating it casually as you crossed through the threshold of your best friends apartment, using your copy of the key to let yourself in and throwing your bag loosely on the couch before attacking him with the direct statement.

He was sitting at his desk and you watched him impatiently as he slowly turned his chair in your direction, pushing his glasses off his nose and onto his head as he stared at you with a bored expression.

“What the hell are you talking about?” He was asking you in his usual steady tone and you let out a groan before approaching him dramatically and dropping to your knees in front of his spinning chair.

TWO HOURS EARLIER

“Wait.. are you serious?” Your head was picking up at the sound of your friends confused voice, falling into a disbelieving laugh that caused you to send her a sharp glare and move your hair out of your face.

“What’s so funny about that?” You were spitting at her in frustration, having just confessed to her your undying crush on a boy at your school. You’d dramatically slammed your head down onto the table afterwards and only lifted it back up when you heard her insulting tone.

“You are so not Sunghoon’s type.” Yuna was shaking her head and casually scrolling through her phone as she broke the news to you, not even bothering to let you down gently or pay you a second of attention.

She wasn’t necessarily trying to be rude, she was simply just used to your antics and impulsive behavior. When you’d approached the table in anguish citing that you were in an unrequited love with a member of the biggest frat on campus, she’d automatically knew you were in one of your erratic moods.

“What’s his type then?” You were piqued with interest and scooting forward in anticipation for her answer, your butt leaving the seat as your elbows slide across the table and you were leaned on top of it.

“I don’t know… girls like him I guess.” She shrugged softly and finally glanced over her glass screen to look at you as she delivered the final blow. “Girls with experience.”

Jay was staring down at you from where he was sat at his chair, his face unchanging as you clutched onto his knee and dramatically retold the story that had led you to making such a ridiculous request when you walked through the door. He was more used to your behavior than anybody else and had the knowledge and experience to not take you seriously.

“And what does this have to do with me exactly?” He was sighing and your mouth parted in disbelief, genuinely not understanding how he wasn’t getting where you were coming from.

“Are you kidding me? Dude we’ve been friends since like… forever. Who else would I do it with?” You were sitting back on the carpet now that you could tell he wasn’t going to budge, leaning back on your palms and still sitting at his feet.

The phrase to describe the duration of your friendship, wasn’t one of your exaggerations. You’d actually been friends for as long as you can remember and the two of you had never been separated since meeting, becoming quickly known as a solid unit and never being seen without the other.

It slowed down as you got older and gained your own personalities and hobbies, surprisingly opposites considering you’d spend all of your developmental years together but it never put much of a hinderance on your friendship. Jay kept you steady and grounded when you were close to bouncing off the walls and you made sure he didn’t rot away in his apartment having no social life.

“Plus, you’ve been with girls haven’t you?” You were asking him slowly and he just stared at you in response, sighing softly when your mouth curled into a knowing smile and you sat back up on your knees.

“Why do you want to be with a douchebag like Park Sunghoon anyways?” He was looking away from you as he said it, looking only slightly flushed at your sitting position before he was diverting his attention back to the laptop on the desk in front of him.

“He’s not that bad. He’s way better than the last few guys.” You were trying to justify your taste but you could see him rolling his eyes, knowing that your standards were extremely low and it didn’t take a lot to be better than your exes.

You were sighing softly and standing up off the floor, making your way across the room and flopping down on his bed with a flair of dramatics. You landed on your stomach but you looked back over your shoulder to see if he was watching you and your antics, smiling softly when you saw that he was, out of the corner of his eye.

“Fine, since you don’t want to do it I’ll just have to find somebody else.” You made sure to keep your voice extra disappointed and dramatic and you heard him let out a small scoff at your exaggeration. “I’ll just ask that Jeongguk guy from the arts department, you know the one who keeps making passes at me every party.”

You glanced back over at him and couldn’t help the laugh that escaped from your lips when you saw the annoyed expression on his face. He was wheeling the chair closer to the bed and sighing again, taking his glasses off of his forehead so he could run his hands through his hair.

“Wouldn’t it be too weird?” He was asking and you were sitting back up in anticipation now that he was asking questions, possibly interested in accepting your proposal. “I mean.. are you even attracted to me?”

Your mouth was falling open slightly as you stared at him in disbelief, leaning forward slightly to see if he was being serious before you were frowning at him. “Are you being serious right now?”

He didn’t say anything and he didn’t need to, knowing that you knew he was always serious, almost painfully so sometimes. He was watching you as you scooted forward so you were closer to the edge of the bed and by default closer to where he had pulled the chair up to, looking into his eyes earnestly as you dropped the worlds most awkward truth bomb on him.

“Jay. You’re like… sexy.” You were telling him in a flat voice and he could tell you were being serious but he couldn’t help the laugh that burst out of him at your sincere tone and the frown that only deepened when he chuckled at you.

“Okay fine, so when would we do this?” He was asking and you gasped with excitement, sitting up fully and throwing yourself onto his lap so you could wrap your arms around him in thanks, squealing slightly when the chair spun around at the sudden collision and nearly tipped the both of you over onto the floor.

You’d left his apartment with the promise to return the next night for your first lessons, thanking him with a big grin and failing to notice the apprehension he had in his eyes when he gave you a half smile back before closing his door.

——

Never in your entire life had you felt nervous to see your bestfriend. Not even after you’d gotten your period for the first time in gym class and everybody had laughed and pointed, not when your parents had first started to talk about divorce and you had to go and stay with him and his mom for a few days and not even when you’d gotten totally dumped right before prom night and showed up at his door in your dress with makeup running down your face.

You’d never been hesitant to raise your hand to knock on his door, cringing after you did so and the foreign noise rang far too loud, remembering suddenly that you had your own key and typically would just let yourself in.

Still, you waited for him to come open the door and you scowled at yourself when you instinctively flattened your hair and tried to lean against the door in a semi seductive way. He was swinging the door open with a raised eyebrow before you had the chance to stand upright and amusement paused over his features as he looked at you.

“Are you trying to rob me or something?” He was asking and you swiftly were reminded of who you were here to see, your shoulders losing tension as you pushed past him into the room.

“I was trying to be sexy dickhead.” You were complaining to him and you tried not to feel nervous again as you sat down on his bed, glancing at him to see him watching you from over by the couch. “So how do we do this?”

He was shrugging softly after a few seconds but still approaching you and also sitting on the bed, a normal distance away from you but for some reason it felt both too close and too far away. You were reminded why you hadn’t lost your virginity yet despite the overwhelming desire to, freezing up and becoming awkward whenever you entered a situation that could potentially lead to it.

“First, you’ve gotta relax dude.” He was sighing and you look over at him with a frown, not surprised that he had immediately clocked your hesitation. “It’s just me.”

This fact did little to help you now that you thought about it. You’d immediately came to him because he was your other half and there was no way you’d ever find somebody you were more comfortable being vulnerable with but you hadn’t considered the fact you’d actually have to have sex with him to have sex with him.

Jay was attractive, something you’ve always known and never bothered to deny despite not outwardly announcing it. You listened bitterly to your other friends gossip and gush about him once you entered high school and he hit puberty, growing rapidly in height and his features sharpening.

It only worsened when he became obsessed with going to the gym after school and wearing clothes that showed off his arms even when it was cold outside.

You were filled with a weird sense of pride that he had chosen to be your best friend even throughout his growing popularity, denying dates with beautiful girls if the two of you already had plans and never paying any mind to the way your friends would throw themselves at him every time you managed to drag him out to parties with you.

Yet you’d never thought of him in that way, despite your moms always talking about how the two of you were destined to be married and how most guys you encountered told you that they’d just assumed Jay was your boyfriend and never bothered to try and flirt with you because of that.

“We should probably kiss each other.” You were suddenly blurting out and his face instinctively scrunched up at the suggestion, causing you to sigh softly and look at him in bewilderment. “We can’t have sex and not kiss, that’s super weird.”

“I know I know.” He was telling you and he was sitting up from where he’d been leaned against the headboard and you flushed now that he was closer to you, feeling weird that his presence was causing that within this specific context.

You’d kissed Jay before, quite a few times but it was never anything more than quick press of your lips or a peck that you immediately recoiled from. He’d actually been your first kiss, surging forward during a spin the bottle game in middle school before anybody else got the chance and you had thanked him with ice cream later that night for saving your virgin lips from one of the creepy older boys eyeing you.

That was just Jay, the most selfless and caring best friend you could ever imagine and you felt lucky every time he was doing you a ridiculous favor at 4am after you’d awaken him from his deep sleep.

Another reason why you hadn’t hesitated in asking him to help you with this although now you were slightly regretting it and not the biggest fan of how quick he was to accept anything you wished for. He was eyeing you curiously and you knew he had sensed your hesitance, making you worried that he would back out under the impression you didn’t actually want this to happen.

You were moving closer to him before he could do so and his eyes widened for a second at your sudden close proximity before his eyes were falling down to your lips and then back up again like he was asking for permission.

You nodded softly but you still weren’t prepared for the way his hand came up to cup the side of your face gently, helping you meet him halfway into a kiss and you tensed up at the contact. He pulled back for a second after barely touching your lips, waiting for you to loosen up and when your shoulders were dropping and you pushed forward again he finally moved more.

The first thing you noticed was that Jay was a good kisser. He was moving against you slowly but you could tell he was taking it easy on you, his thumb swiping along your cheek to keep your anxiety calm and if you didn’t know any better you’d think this wasn’t a big deal at all to him. But you did know better, in fact you knew best, and you could tell he was equally as nervous as you were judging by the way his eyes darted around your face every time he pulled back to make sure it was still okay.

“Can I try more?” He was rasping out to you and your stomach tightened at the sound of his voice. You thought you’d heard all of his voices, having heard him angry and yelling or upset with his voice cracking around words before fading out into a low whisper but you’d never heard it like this before.

You didn’t even think before nodding your head, leaning towards him again in a daze and ignoring the soft laugh he let out as your lips connected once more. He was kissing you the same as before, slow and patient so he didn’t push your limits and you were growing slightly impatient until you felt his tongue swipe across your lower lip.

Your mouth parted in a surprised gasp but he seemed to take this as an invitation, slipping it into your mouth and you squirmed at the feeling of him licking into the kiss. You shifted forward towards him instinctively on the bed and you felt your knee collide with his, ignoring it in favor of pushing your own tongue against his and listening to the small groan that slipped out of his mouth.

“Is it okay?” He was barely pulling back to ask and you were still trying to move closer to him as he spoke, making the words muffled as he ignored your desperation. You were nodding as an answer to him and he seemed pleased by your confirmation before remembering he was meant to be teaching you. “Try sucking on it a little.”

Your eyes widened at his suggestion and you stopped trying to kiss him so you could stare up at him in confusion, watching in amusement as his ears turned slightly red and he looked something close to bashful for suggesting it.

“Does that make you feel good?” You were whispering to him, speaking for the first time since this started and his eyes shot back down to your lips now that they were moving.

“I-I mean.. I think most guys would like it.” He was trying to justify his reasoning for suggesting something so specific but he could tell by your smile that was slowly growing that you were just messing with him, sighing softly before leaning into you again to reconnect the kiss.

Despite you making fun of him, you still were nervous to test out what he had suggested and you were grateful that he started off slow again and didn’t immediately stick his tongue down your throat. He kissed you gently for almost too long and you decided to act before he did, parting his lips slightly and deepening it yourself. He hummed in approval and your face flushed red at the small noise, fighting the urge to retreat and hide your face from him.

You could feel him take a deep breath when you were hesitantly sucking his tongue into your mouth, twisting your head sideways so you could take it deeper and pull back and forth along it.

His hand was shooting to your knee and gripping it tightly at the feeling, giving you a warning to stop that you quickly ignored. You never thought that kissing Jay would feel so good, leave you shuffling forward into his touch on your leg and desperately kissing him continuously to ensure he wouldn’t stop.

He was making another low sound into your mouth and only then did you pull off for a second, breathing heavily and staring at him with hooded eyes. He held your stare for a few seconds before he was looking away suddenly, his expression not giving anything away but you could tell he was starting to overthink about the whole situation.

“Is it too weird?” You were asking him and he glanced over at you at the sound of your breathy voice, eyes shooting down to your swollen lips and then back to his hand that was still on your knee.

He removed it and you weirdly felt a pang of disappointment at the movement, scooting closer to him on the bed and leaning forward slightly into his line of vision so he had no choice but to give his attention to you. His expression was neutral again when he looked at you and you found yourself cursing the fact your bestfriend was so stoic.

“I think we should stop here for the day.” He was telling you in a calm voice and your mouth fell into a pout of disappointment without you even realizing it, only noticing it when his eyes went back to your lips and stayed there when he saw the way they were jutted out.

“We barely even did anything.” You weren’t embarrassed by the childish whine slipping into your tone, knowing perfectly well what typically got Jay to succumb to your wants and you could tell he was weak spirited in his attempt to stop early by the way he sighed softly and continued to stare at you in contemplation.

“What else did you want to do?” His question was making you freeze up, not expecting the control to be handed over to you and you instinctively shrugged as the familiar nerves crept back up.

He quickly picked up on your body language and the fact you didn’t want to be the one in charge of making the decisions, sensing the panic building inside you at his lack of control and he shifted on the bed before sighing once again and shaking his head to himself in disbelief. You watched him as he leaned back up against the headboard, his legs spread out in front of him and your eyes widened slightly when he was patting his lap expectantly.

“You always sit on my lap, don’t overthink it.” He was instructing you when you he saw your facial expression and you nodded softly before you were scooting forward and situating yourself sideways on his lap, directly on top of his thighs and holding onto his shoulders so you didn’t lose your balance.

He was right, you did often sit on his lap even when he groaned and told you to get off and you rarely thought twice about doing the action but you didn’t ever sit in his lap with this weird energy in the room. And you definitely never sat in his lap and leaned down to kiss him again like you were now, moving without realizing but you were grateful that he was quickly kissing you back without any hesitation now and you could feel his hand laying over your own legs to hold your waist and keep you steady.

You were slightly above him in the new position so he had to crane his neck to meet with your lips and you could feel his jaw tensing under where your hand was moving to, holding his face gently and kissing him deeper.

His hand was tightening when you shifted in place uncomfortably and you pulled out of the kiss to glance at him, seeing his awkward expression for just a second before your eyes were falling down to where you were sat against him. You shifted again experimentally and he let out a low groan, squeezing your waist almost painfully on reflex and your lips curled back into a smile.

“Cut it out.” He was squeezing out the words in a wince and you ignored him, shifting your hips over his again and feeling him lift his fingers to swat at your skin where your shirt had ridden up. “I said cut it out dickhead.”

“Can’t you at least pretend we are doing this for real?” You were stopping in your movements to pout down at him, your hand leaving his face and instead brushing through his hair gently. He was watching you with an annoyed expression but you knew it wasn’t sincere. “Try dirty talking to me or something.”

He snorted out a laugh of disbelief and shook his head, denying your request even when your pout deepened and you huffed in disappointment. You were a bit confused within yourself at your own request, not necessarily needing practice in that department but for some reason you wanted to hear his voice more while you were doing this.

“I’m not going to dirty talk.” He was denying even harder, seemingly genuinely flabbergasted that you were asking him to do that and you sighed softly.

“At least say something nice, call me pretty or something.” Your hands were running through his hair as you spoke and he lost his amused expression after a few seconds, staring at you as he processed your words and instinctively leaning closer to your touch.

He was kissing you again then and you were throw off by how familiar it felt, how easy it was for you to immediately move against him like this was something you’d been doing for years. It felt different now that his hands were touching you, squeezing your lower back so you were leaning forward towards his chest and still using your hands in his hair to tilt his head back and give you more access.

“You know you’re pretty.” He was breathing out the words into your mouth and you smiled into the kiss, deepening it again once more before you were pulling back a bit to respond to him.

“So pretty it makes you crazy?” Your voice was teasing again and his eyes flashed with a glint of something you didn’t recognize, watching you in a way that would’ve made you squirm if it was anybody else.

But it wasn’t anybody else, it was him and because it was him you were able to laugh softly before wrapping your arms around his neck and laying your head on his shoulder, grateful when he took the hint that you were done for now and leaned further into the headboard so you could both lay down with you still in his lap.

You tried not to think about the fact you could taste Jay on your lips still or the low noises that were pulled out of him just a few minutes ago, instead just laying there with him and hoping you wouldn’t regret this.

——

After you’d left his apartment you didn’t see Jay for the next two days. It wasn’t extremely rare that you were apart that long but it was right around the amount of time where you’d start to get antsy and miss being in his comforting presence, always finding a natural relaxer in him and his calm personality so you didn’t think twice before you were heading over to his place after your final class for the day.

You were skipping a step at a time as you made your way up to his apartment floor, passing through the outside walkway and the other residents tables and children’s toys with familiarity and ease.

Your fingers were reaching down into your bag in search of your key, adorned on the keychain that contained a polaroid of the two of you from high school also attached. Your search slowed to a stop when you rounded the last corner and saw that his door was already open, eyebrows furrowing at the fact he was standing in the doorway and smiling as he talked to a girl standing against the outside railing.

She was grinning back at him, flicking her hair back over her shoulder and your eyes narrowed at the way she laughed loudly and leaned forward to push against his arm teasingly.

Jay was extremely nice with an overload of manners and gentle acts of kindness but he definitely wasn’t the most social person you knew and you rarely saw him interacting with people outside of you and a few boys he’d met at work. You absolutely didn’t recognize her and you were certain you’d never seen her before, even more so when he was catching sight of you out of the corner of his eye and you saw them widen slightly.

She was noticing that he was distracted and following his line of sight, mouth pursing in confusion when she saw you and your pointed glare.

It made you feel worse that she clearly had no idea who you were, extremely unnerved at the idea of somebody knowing Jay yet never hearing of you and you didn’t care about the weird way your stomach turned when he cleared his throat to bring her attention back towards him.

She glanced over at you once more before looking back at him and your scowl deepened when she automatically was falling into that smile again, flirty and seductive as she titled her head slightly. You watched as he gave her a small wave goodbye after saying something you couldn’t hear and you didn’t bother turning your body when she walked past, leaving her to awkwardly squeeze past you.

Jay was watching the exchange and sighed softly when he saw your dark expression, turning around and heading back into his apartment but leaving the door open so you could follow.

“Who was that?” You were demanding as you stormed through, setting your bag down on the kitchen counter and turning towards where he was situating himself down on the couch.

“New hire at work.” He was explaining in a bored tone and you watched as he looked over his shoulder at you, immediately understanding that you wanted more context and shrugging softly as he continued. “I’m supposed to show her the ropes and she asked to go out for coffee.”

“She walked you home?” You were interjecting and slipping off your shoes, making your way over to the couch and sitting up on your knees next to him once you got over there.

He nodded his head in confirmation, watching you carefully and you frowned softly. Jay was used to your possessiveness when it came to him and sharing his time and energy, it had actually caused a few arguments between the two of you that always ended with you crying and apologizing for your behavior and him telling you it was okay and that he really didn’t mind.

Sometimes you thought he was just saying it to be nice and make you feel better but other times you had a hunch that he actually didn’t mind your clinginess. You’d see a small smirk playing on his face when you stayed close to him at parties or sent sharp stares towards girls who were eyeing him with terrible intentions.

“She was pretty.” You were telling him matter of factly but you were watching him carefully to see how he’d respond and he gave you a knowing look before shaking his head.

“I didn’t realize.” He was responding and you smiled at his attempt at a safe answer, leaning closer into his side and tugging at his sleeve with impatience.

“What are you teaching me today, oh wise one.” He was scrunching up his nose at your choice of title towards him and you could feel him tensing against you at the reminder he was meant to be showing you more things today, only just having finished reeling from kissing earlier in the week.

He wasn’t answering right away so you were sitting up to look at him better, still leaning into him but closer to his face now and in a better position to catch the way his eyes darted down to your lips for a few seconds too long. He was meeting your eyes again and he saw the excitement in them before you were leaning in to kiss him.

You weren’t wasting anytime today considering you’d already pushed past the awkwardness of actually kissing for the first time, throwing your leg over his on the couch so you were straddling his lap and you cut off the small inhale he took at the feeling by licking into his mouth.

His hands were sliding back around to your back, just to rest there as you lowered yourself down on him and leaned fully into the kiss. You weren’t going to admit to him how much you liked kissing him, keeping it a secret within yourself that you almost wished you could just do this for the rest of the night. Just almost though because his hands were squeezing against your waist and you felt a surge of want run through you.

“Can I put you in my mouth?” You were pulling off to whisper into his mouth and his entire body tensed up at your words.

“Jesus christ Y/N.” He was scolding you for your sudden exclamation but you could feel the way his hips twitched in interest underneath your weight. “Warn a guy before you say something like that.”

“It’s important though, isn’t it?” You were muttering to him and ignoring his complaints, circling your hips over him and smiling softly when he let out a low groan at the feeling. He looked slightly pained and conflicted and you almost laughed at him but held it in so he wouldn’t tell you no. “Don’t tell me you’ve never thought about it before, I’m a girl after all.”

“I didn’t realize you were a girl until like junior year.” He was teasing back but your frown immediately deepened and you shoved his shoulder in irritation. He laughed softly at your reaction but didn’t say anything else when you rocked your hips again.

“You’ve really never thought about it?” You were asking him again but your tone was different now, breathier and nearly a purr as you hovered your mouth over his. He kissed you softly for just a second before you were pulling slightly out of his reach. “Never once thought about sticking your cock down my throat Jay?”

He cursed under his breath again but this time you could tell he was taking you seriously, his hands tightening continuously around your hips and helping you rock against him. You were letting out a small hiccuped gasp and falling forward slightly onto his chest at the feeling of him pushing up into you, feeling him hard underneath you.

You’d never thought about Jay being hard before and a year ago the idea probably would have made you throw up in your mouth. You were trying to convince yourself that this reaction was purely biological, throbbing now at the feeling of him pressing against you continuously, but you couldn’t stop staring at his hooded eyes and the way his jaw tensed every time you lowered yourself harder onto him.

“Get on your knees then.” He was mumbling out against your lips and you felt a shiver wrack through you at the stern tone he had taken, hearing it hundreds of times before and you mostly never listened to him but your body instinctively was sliding off his lap and hitting the carpet.

You were sat next to his feet with wide and confused eyes, watching him to see what you were supposed to do next and he seemed to snap out of it and remember he was supposed to be showing you how to do it, shaking his head slightly to ground himself before lifting his hips off the couch and undoing his belt with one hand.

You watched him with fascination as you leaned forward to get closer to him, your hands landing on his thighs and feeling the muscle clench under your hands.

He paused for a second and was staring at you long enough for you to start shifting uncomfortably, not being able to read the expression on his face and taking it as a negative considering how weird the situation was.

“You can close your eyes and pretend it’s someone else if you need to.” You were offering the out to him and his eyebrows furrowed at your suggestion, although not saying anything as he slid his pants down his thighs.

Your eyes were dropping to his crotch and they widened slightly, completely forgetting about the weird moment you’d just had and leaning forward again so you could touch him. He swore under his breath when you rubbed your hand over the print in his boxers, muttering something about you warning him again.

“Stop being so tense.” You were telling him as you continued to touch him over the fabric, watching with interest as his stomach clenched and he tongued at his cheek.

“Sorry it’s just… you’re touching my dick dude.” He was wincing out and scrunching his nose at the sentence, causing a small laugh to slip out of you before you were getting serious again and squeezing his length softly.

“This is supposed to be sexy.” Your tone was slightly disappointed and he picked his head up from where it’d fallen back against the couch, looking at you and your dejected expression before his gaze was falling to your hand on top of him.

“Yeah, don’t worry about that.” He was responding in a low tone and you were confused for a second before flushing at the realization he was implying this was attractive to him without any effort.

He wasn’t saying anything again after that and you noticed he was a bit too distracted to actually give you a play by play, something you didn’t mind considering how it might take you out of the moment and make you too nervous to be given specific instructions to follow. You decided to just try your best and hope he would correct you if you hurt him or did anything wrong.

You were leaning forward to put your mouth on him, instinctively sucking softly over his underwear and he let out a loud groan again, his hips kicking forward automatically and you smiled against him at the apology he forced out.

It was making you feel weird that you were so enamored by the faces Jay made when he was feeling good, the way his jaw clenched and the breaths he hissed through his teeth. You were shifting in your kneeling position uncomfortably with the wetness dripping down your thighs.

“Take it out.” You were telling him softly, trying to distract yourself from this realization and he picked his head up again to look at you for a second before nodding swiftly and lifting his hips up off the couch again.

You expected him to be more hesitant like he had been, looking like he was on the verge of calling this whole ordeal off at every move you made, so you were slightly thrown off when his cock was suddenly bare and standing straight right in front of your face. Your eyes widened slightly at the appearance and you could feel him staring down at your face to gauge your reaction.

“This is pretty impressive Jay.” You were remaking before glancing up at him and seeing an amused look pass over his face before he was rolling his eyes at you.

“Yeah.. so maybe we should work on dirty talk.” He was retorting, making fun of your plain style of a compliment.

You were being honest though, genuinely thrown off by his size and length. This was something you’ve definitely thought about just not in such a hands on way, more so out of curiosity to what your quiet friend was packing and wondering the reasoning behind the small smirk he got around his male friends whenever they started arguing over who was bigger.

You didn’t need to wonder anymore, clearly having your answer now and whilst you’d never paid much thought to your best friends dick size, it was undeniable that it was big enough to make your mouth instinctively water.

His hand was gently pushing your hair out of your face as you leaned forward towards his lower half again and your eyes snapped up once more just for a second, faltering slightly at the affectionate look in his eyes as he tucked some loose strands behind your ears and then you were fully moving forward and taking his head into your mouth.

“Oh fuck.” The words were slipping out of his mouth and you could tell he was using a lot of his focus to stop himself from bucking forward into your mouth. “D-don’t worry about fitting it all he’ll like it if you just, fuck, do what you can then use your hands.”

Your eyebrows furrowed in confusion for a second at who he was referring to and he noticed, his eyebrow cocking at your expression before you were remembering the whole reason he was letting you do this and your face flushed. You quickly tried to distract him from your mistake, licking up his length softly and feeling relief when his head was falling back in a sharp gasp.

He didn’t say anything else for awhile other than occasionally muttering that you were doing a good job or softly telling you to watch your teeth, his hand in your hair but not tugging, just resting there and keeping it out of your face.

You could tell he was close after not too long of your soft touches and amateurish licks, his hips kicking up off the couch instinctively and his free hand curling into the fabric below it. You were watching him from behind your eyelashes and you felt the urge to draw his attention back to you, give him a reason to look at you while you did this and not lean his head back against the couch.

“Go to a party with me tonight.” You were taking your mouth off of him and freezing in your movements, keeping your hand still where it was wrapped around the base of his length but squeezing it softly.

He was lifting his head up swiftly and glancing down at you with a panicked look, his eyes shooting to your hand around him and then immediately up to your face. His ears turned red when he caught sight of your swollen lips and teary eyes but he didn’t say anything about it and instead just shook his head at you.

“What are you talking about?” He was groaning out, followed by an even louder noise when you were squeezing him again. “Cut that out.”

“Tell me you’ll come with me.” You were leaning forward to suck his head into your mouth slightly, tasting the beginning of his end on your tongue and almost recoiling from the shock of the taste.

You held strong to prove your point, taking him deeper into your mouth and a heat passed through you at the fact he was watching you now, eyes transfixed down on your face and darkening as he watched you try to fit as much of him in your throat as possible. You shifted on your knees again uncomfortably due to the throbbing behind your underwear, resisting the urge to sit yourself down on his foot and take some of the pressure off your core.

He didn’t say anything regarding your request until he was getting close again, sighing when you removed your mouth once more and he realized you weren’t going to let him cum until he agreed to come with you.

“Fuck, fine I’ll go.” He was rushing out and you smiled softly at him, eyes lighting up with excitement and he thought about how familiar the expression was in such a jarring foreign setting.

Any contemplation about your strange situation was gone the second you were taking him back into your mouth, feeling how tight and wet your throat was before you were finally letting him finish. You winced at the feeling of him cumming inside your mouth but the noises he made distracted you from it, watching him become overwhelmed with pleasure that you caused.

You were smiling again even though he wasn’t looking anymore, suddenly feeling a lot better about this.

——

“I can’t believe you actually got him to come out.” You were turning around at the sound of somebody’s voice behind you, two drinks in hand and a raised eyebrow until you saw it was one of the boys from the football team who knew Jay.

“It was just some mild convincing.” You smiled at him, lips curling up and your mind flashed with the memory of how Jay looked sitting above you on the couch.

He hadn’t complained much about having to come, throwing in small statements of annoyance here and there but for the most part he’d been a good sport. You’d expected it to be more awkward around him, your own face flushing with heat when he had arrived at your dorm to pick you up but he was almost overly casual about the entire ordeal and you felt a bit childish for not being able to hold eye contact with him.

“Yeah, I guess he’s got that soft spot for you.” He was responding and shifting in his spot where he was looking out at the crowd. “I’m sure he won’t regret it after tonight.” The boy was chirping back and your own grin fell in confusion at the smirk on his face, following where his eyes were looking and fully frowning when you saw somebody standing next to your friend now.

She looked familiar, maybe a classmate or somebody who worked around campus, but you couldn’t quite place where you had seen her. Maybe this was due to the fact you weren’t at all focused on her face, your eyes locked on her hand that was wrapped around Jay’s wrist as she laughed softly at something he was saying.

He looked just as awkward as he always did but you felt like he was watching her reaction to see if she’d laugh at his comment, whatever it may be, and your eyebrow cocked softly at the fact he wasn’t moving away from her touch at all. You felt stupid when the jock next to you was awkwardly clearing his throat at your sudden silence, glancing over at him and then turning red because your own jealous thoughts regarding your best friend.

You were fully aware you had an issue when it came to being possessive over him but it had never necessarily extended to him interacting with other girls in a flirty way, especially when he genuinely seemed interested. You didn’t typically try to set him up or guide him towards a relationship but you never interfered with a potential one, you certainly never felt such a weird pit in your stomach because of it.

You were making your way back to him without saying another word to the boy beside you, two cups still tightly held in your hand and you saw the girl glance over at you as you approached.

She dropped her hand off of Jay’s arm and you smiled a wide fake grin at her, casually passing him his drink and tilting your head with faux curiosity. You could feel him looking at the side of your face as you did so, feeling your arm brush against his considering how close you had planted yourself to him and you were parting your mouth to speak before you thought about it.

“Are you Jay’s friend?” You were asking her in a friendly voice but you knew she could see the glint in your eye, the way you leaned your body towards Jay as you said his name and tightened your grip around your cup.

“I.. I mean yeah, well not really. I’m just-“ She was trying to explain with a small nervous chuckle, her eyes shooting back and forth between you and him like she expected him to interject and tell you her reason for being there.

“Not really then.” Your second smile was a lot more forced and showcasing a sympathy for her that was mean and unnecessary, slipping off when she was glaring at you slightly before turning to leave and walk around from the two of you.

You moved away from him again with a sigh once she was gone, turning your body to rest your back against the wall and take a sip from your drink. Jay was tense next to you but you didn’t notice until he was looking at you with a flat expression, clearly slightly annoyed by what you had done and you raised an eyebrow at him in question.

“Why did you do that?” He was asking and he was keeping his tone steady like he was genuinely curious but you could tell he was frustrated. You had a feeling that you’d get into an argument if you gave him a wrong answer, shifting uncomfortably and frowning softly.

“You looked uncomfortable.” You were shrugging as the lie slipped through your lips and you glanced at him when he scoffed and pressed himself against the wall next to you, shoulder bumping yours and staying there.

“Did I?” He was retorting and you could tell he knew you were lying, he always did and you felt suddenly embarrassed about how you’d reacted.

You didn’t respond to him but you turned your head to look at him between, something unidentifiable and heavily weighted in your eyes and he watched you carefully before his eyes were flicking down to your lips and then back up. Your interest was piqued at this and you were instinctively leaning closer to him, developing a habit after the last few times but stopping when he was suddenly clearing his throat.

“Park is probably around here somewhere.” He was telling you and his face pulled into a small grimace as he said it, looking away from you and missing the way you froze up slightly at the mention of the boy. “Aren’t you wanting to go find him?”

“I don’t know.” You were shrugging again and he was smiling a bit now which made you flush, knowing he was finding the shift in your mood funny. “I think I need a little more practice right?”

“Yeah?” He was still standing close to you, body slightly leaned forward so he was hovering his face near yours and this time when his eyes dropped to your lips he didn’t retract, just watching you carefully as that familiar but unreadable look crept back up in his eyes.

You didn’t respond to him out loud, not fully trusting yourself to speak but you were nodding your head softly and staring up at him with big eyes, having half a mind to stop yourself from reaching your hand up to hold his arm but a surge of want was running through you considering the way he was looking at you.

It wasn’t like people didn’t already talk about the two of you, having to explain to almost everybody you’d ever met that you weren’t dating or anything remotely close to it and people still didn’t necessarily believe you when you said it so it wouldn’t be the end of the world to touch him here, even this close to each others faces. But you’d been trying to convince them all for years and you’d feel a bit stupid to be caught doing unfriendly things with him now, especially with how new it was to you.

You also needed to remind yourself that you weren’t doing this for fun and there was an end goal here with Sunghoon, a goal that might as well be forfeited the second you started making out with your close male friend at a party he was also attending.

Jay wasn’t making it easy to remember this small fact, clouding your head and sense of judgment the longer he stared down at you and the closer you subconsciously swayed towards his steady frame. Part of you felt like your brain had made a connection, something clicking after he’d touched you for the first time and crossed that line friends typically didn’t.

“Stop looking at me like you want to kiss me.” He was mumbling but he had a small smile on his face, lip curled up as he watched you with amusement and you were sure you frowned at his teasing.

“Why can’t we?” You shifted onto your tiptoes for a second before dropping back down, your nose just barely grazing his but enough for him to follow your face back down and press a quick kiss against you like he couldn’t help himself.

He was immediately pulling away however and you watched him as he squeezed his eyes shut, shaking his head softly in denial and glancing over his shoulder for a second like he was making sure nobody was watching the two of you. Your hand was coming up to rest near his ribs, bringing his attention back down to you and you could feel his heart beating under your palm.

“No one’s looking.” You were reasoning, half hurt he cared too much and half thrown off by the fact that you didn’t at all. He didn’t object when you were rocking forward to kiss against his jaw softly, sucking in a small breath when you were swiping your tongue along his warm skin.

“Let me take you home.” His voice was low on your ear and you could feel his hands sliding over your sides to hold your lower back, drifting dangerously low but he was rotating his body so he was hiding you behind him against the wall.

“Can’t be so romantic if we are practicing for the real thing.” You were smiling at him humorlessly but he didn’t seem to find it funny, tensing at the mention of your real sexual encounters being meaningless and futile. “You have to treat me like some random hookup.”

He was watching you for a second to try and see if you were serious before his eyes were drifting away again like he was thinking about something. Eventually, you stared at him as he found his way back to you and moved one of his hands so he could brush your hair back behind your ear and out of your face. “Yeah, you know I can’t do that.”

You didn’t respond to him immediately, faltering slightly at the sincerity in his voice but you didn’t have a chance to think about what he was implying before he was fully kissing you finally. You almost pushed him away to ask for clarification but you quickly forgot about the strange statement when he was slipping his tongue into your mouth, melting against the wall and pushing against him completely.

Kissing him standing up felt different for some reason, you could feel every part of his body flat against yours and the height difference was a lot more evident, making your head spin slightly.

He wasn’t taking it easy on you anymore like he had the last few times, deepening the kiss immediately until your head was completely tilted back and accepting anything he would give you. The feeling of his tongue against yours, mixed with the fact you were in public and able to be seen by anybody sober enough to take a closer look and see who he had against the wall, was sending a heat through your body and you arched closer to him.

His hands were lower than your back now, squeezing and groping you in a way that took your breath away and made your knees so weak you would’ve crumbled to the floor if it wasn’t for him holding you up.

“Jay.” You were panting out into his mouth and his grip tightened at the sound of your breathy voice saying his name, pulling back just enough to allow you to speak. “Need you to touch me, please.”

“Not here baby, we can’t.” He was quickly responding and shaking his head, his hair loosening up slightly and falling over his forehead at the movement. You hoped he didn’t notice the way you practically gasped at the pet name slipping from his mouth so casually, shifting against the wall at his hesitant rejection.

He was looking down at you with want in his eyes so you weren’t too put off by him trying to say you couldn’t, rubbing your hand against his chest and pushing closer again until his lips were touching yours. You didn’t kiss him, just letting him feel you there and you let out a sigh of relief when he was losing his resolve and surging forward to fully press his lips against yours again.

It was addicting to kiss him like this and your hands were twisting in his hair softly, keeping him moving tight against you and giving him no room to change his mind again. You could feel his hands on your body tugging you forward against his hips, your leg going up slightly closer to his waist so he could fully slot in between your legs and nearly suffocate you against the wall.

He wasn’t moving you away even when your hand was slipping back down past his ribs, cupping him through his pants and smiling softly into the kiss when he hissed softly and faltered in his own touching.

“Fuck.” He was mumbling the word into your mouth and you knew you had gotten him, kissing him again even though he wasn’t moving anymore and just recovering from the feeling of your hand on him. “I’m going to go get a cab, let’s go back home.”

This time you didn’t object, liking the way he phrased going back to his apartment to include you and he kissed you one more time before he was stepping away and heading outside to call down a ride. You waited for him against the wall, knowing he’d come back inside to get you once he managed to get one like he always did.

Your hand was coming up to touch your lips, catching your breath and smiling softly as you thought about him and how strange things have been since you asked him to help you out.

It wasn’t an uncomfortable strange at all outside of the way your heart kept fluttering every time he tucked your hair behind your ears and gave you a particularly affectionate look. Jay was always kind and gentle with you so it didn’t phase you that it extended to this type of activity, figuring that there was no other reason for him to be acting like that and trying to ignore the way that thought made your chest tighten.

“You okay?” Your head was picking up swiftly at the sound of a new voice next to you, panicked at the sudden arrival and then completely freezing when you realized who it was. “You look like you’re going to be sick.” Park Sunghoon was watching you curiously, not much concern on his face, despite acknowledging your strange expression, as he took a sip from his cup casually.

“No I-I’m fine.” You were rushing out quickly and moving your fingers away from your mouth, flattening your hair and looking away from him with slightly widened eyes.

“Was that your boyfriend?” He was asking suddenly but his tone was bored, looking from you then back to the crowd like he was only over here to pass time. You froze up at the realization he was referring to Jay, obviously having seen you pressed against the wall only a few minutes ago.

You weren’t sure what to say for a few seconds, knowing that if this was last week your heart would be pounding with excitement due to the fact Park Sunghoon was speaking to you willingly. Adding onto the fact that he had seen you with somebody, now having no reason to believe you were inexperienced if you were boldly making out in the middle of a crowded party.

“No he..” You were trailing off when you noticed Jay coming back inside now, eyes locked on where he had left you and a small smile creeping up on his face when he saw you, until his eyes traveled over to the boy standing next to you. “He isn’t my boyfriend.”

Sunghoon wasn’t saying anything else but you heard him hum softly in acknowledgment before falling silent again, the both of you just standing there as you watched Jay slowly pass back through the crowd and approach the corner you were standing in. He kept his distance for a second, like he was making sure he wasn’t interrupting anything serious before he was standing by your side and clearing his throat.

“Ready to go?” He was asking in a low tone but you could tell his mood had drastically flipped from when he had left, more hesitant and guarded now like he wasn’t sure you’d actually come with him.

To make matters worse, your eyes instinctively went over to Sunghoon to see his reaction and you didn’t miss your best friend unmistakably tensing from the corner of your drifting gaze.

“Hey man, I’m Sunghoon.” He was still smiling softly, either completely oblivious to the weird tension settling over the two of you or simply not caring at all, and you watched as his hand crossed over where you were standing to extend towards your friend. He wasn’t touching you but he was inadvertently covering your body with his and your eyes widened slightly at the sudden close proximity.

“I know.” Jay was simply responding and not saying anything else, not even glancing down towards the hand waiting for him to take and you heard the other boy laugh softly before he was retracting it.

“You go to school here?” He was asking and you couldn’t tell if he was genuinely trying to make conversation or if he was just attempting to figure out what your friends deal was. Either way you tensed up slightly at the mention of Jay attending your school, a sore spot for both of you considering he hadn’t been accepted and yet he still decided to move here with you so you didn’t have to separate.

“He works on campus.” You quickly interjected when you noticed the way Jay’s jaw clenched at the question, not answering him directly but giving him enough information to let him know why he might look familiar or know who Sunghoon was. “We have to get going now.”

Sunghoon was nodding softly but he was carrying a look of amusement that you couldn’t miss and you were positive Jay hadn’t either, most likely catching on to the building instigation the second he had stepped foot back inside.

“I’ll see you around then.” He was slipping out casually as the two of you started to turn to leave, grinning at you when you looked back over your shoulder and hesitantly nodded, hand raising in a small wave before you were feeling Jay’s hand on your back leading you out of the house.

He didn’t say anything as you made your way outside and he remained silent the entire ride back to his apartment, staring out the window and keeping his hands in his lap as he avoided looking at you. You were a bit confused on what exactly he was feeling but you knew for sure that something had shifted once he saw Sunghoon and you weren’t going back home for the same reason anymore.

You sighed softly when he quickly got out of the taxi, standing there with the door open until you had scooted across the leather seats and got out into the night air. He closed it softly after thanking the driver and followed behind you as you made your way up the stairs to his door, the air heavy and so tense you felt like you were suffocating on it.

“Are you not going to talk to me then because I can just head home.” You were remarking once you’d crossed into the apartment, watching him in silence as he took off his jacket and shoes and went to the kitchen to get a drink.

“Is that what you want to do?” He was retorting in a calm tone but you could tell from where you were standing that he was agitated, eyes glinting with irritation as he leaned forward slightly onto the counter but you couldn’t tell if he was upset with you or something else.

“I want to do what you want to do.” You stated plainly and he didn’t respond as you kicked off your shoes, walking past where he was in the kitchen to head towards his sleeping area.

He was watching you as you moved around, the apartment small with an open floor plan but it was homely and you were there often enough to have your own dedicated clothes drawer underneath his. You tried to ignore his gaze on you as you opened the top one instead, pulling out one of his hoodies and glancing at him for a second before you were reaching behind your back to try and unzip your dress.

You heard him sigh softly before he was setting his cup down on the counter, making his way over to you slowly and offering a hand down to you on the bed when you just stared at him in confusion. You let him take your hand in his and he pulled you up softly, turning you around and pushing your hair off your back before he was helping you by pulling the zipper slowly down your back.

Your breath was catching in your throat at the feeling of the fabric loosening around you, his knuckles brushing over your bare skin and his hands stopping just above the curve of your ass.

“We can’t do what I want to do.” You were attempting to turn around to face him at the sound of his soft voice next to your ear but he stopped you by holding tightly onto the middle of your arms.

“Why not?” A small whine had slipped into your voice as you asked the question, so accustomed to him letting you get your way and slightly frustrated that he was being so distant.

You knew it was crossing a line, something that had silently been there for probably longer than you even realized, and you knew you should probably be more hesitant about crossing it but you couldn’t find it in yourself to care. You’d always been more impulsive than Jay but you knew he had to somewhat feel it too, that strong pull towards each other that was now just multiplying every time he touched you.

It was especially overwhelming now, almost unbearable as he gently lowered the sleeves of your dress off your arms until the top was dangling around your middle. You were completely bare from the waist up now but you didn’t think he could even see you, keeping you in a vulnerable position as you stared forward at the wall.

His hands were brushing against your ribs and for a second you thought he wouldn’t even touch you until you felt him cupping over your chest and groping curiously. Your breath caught in your throat at the feeling of his cold fingers against your warm skin, the rings on his finger brushing against your hardened nipple and you took a stuttered gasp when he squeezed harder.

Jay’s other hand was pressing into your stomach and making sure you were tucked closely against him, feeling him getting harder against you the longer he touched you.

“If it was up to me I’d bend you over right now, just like this.” His voice was low in your ear again and another gasp ran through you when he was slightly tilting you forward, keeping you standing with his arm wrapped around your middle. “I’d tear the rest of your dress off and I’d make sure you never thought about going to Park Sunghoon or any of those other frat assholes again.”

“Then just do it.” You were panting out to him and trying to press yourself closer, feeling your dress slowly slipping down more from the bundled up fabric dangling around your middle. “What’s stopping you?”

He didn’t respond for a while and eventually he stopped touching you, sighing softly and he breath fanned the back of your neck. His hands were soft again now and resting on your hips carefully like he was considering what to do next.

You knew him well enough to know he wasn’t going to fuck you, certainly not like this and you were half positive he wasn’t going to touch you at all. Still, he was better at telling you vulnerable things when you weren’t staring at him so you didn’t move from your position and let him stand there in contemplation.

You were still slightly disappointed and hurt when he was pulling the rest of your dress down your legs, helping you step out from the middle of it, and then reaching down to grab his hoodie you had picked from the drawer and softly pulling it over your head. He finally turned you around once you were covered up, the hoodie coming down just above the middle of your thighs and he moved your hair out from inside the collar.

“Kiss me at least.” You were suddenly saying and grabbing his hands to stop him from moving away from you. His eyes glistened with something but he was letting you place his hands back around you, your own arms snaking up and around his neck in a strangely domestic position.

He didn’t say anything but he fulfilled your request, kissing you softly and pulling you tighter against him.

It was impossible to pretend now that you weren’t changing your mind about the entire thing, no use trying to push how good this felt to the back of your mind. You immediately felt a wave of relief wash over you and you practically melted in his hold, familiar and comfortable in a way that nobody could ever replicate and you knew he had to be feeling something similar if he was this conflicted about having sex with you.

Jay was your rock in the sense he was calculated and careful in almost everything he did and you figured he would’ve had sex with you easily if he had decided there was no risk to your friendship in the aftermath. The risk was there and it was prominent especially now as you leaned into him again, fully accepting it despite his hesitance.

You were squealing softly when he was suddenly lifting you up against him, taking a few steps forward before dropping the both of you on his bed and you giggled into the kiss when he turned your bodies so you’d land on him and he could take the weight of the fall.

The two of you kissed like that for a while longer, almost on autopilot as you moved his mouth against yours and you licked into his mouth with now practiced accuracy. He was warm and familiar underneath you, the hard expanse of his body and muscles flexing and easily supporting you and your constant shifting and movements. You were slightly impressed at how well he contained himself, feeling yourself get worked up in only a few minutes and clinging to him desperately.

Eventually the kissing stopped but you stayed just like that, your entire weight on top of him and your head laying on his chest like you had a hundred times.

“Can you tell me why not now?” Your voice was quiet and hesitant as you asked him the question that was still on your mind, letting a little time pass before you were bringing it up again and feeling relieved when he didn’t immediately tense up.

“Why do you get upset when I talk to other girls?” He was responding instead, not answering you directly yet and you frowned softly even though he couldn’t see it.

“I don’t know I can’t explain it.” You mumbled into his chest and you shrugged the best you could in your position. You were swatting at his side when you heard him let out a small scoff of disbelief, his chest vibrating your face when he started to laugh lightly at your upset reaction. “Don’t laugh at me, I’m serious.”

You were being honest despite the vague answer, never really knowing how to explain the sick feeling that washed over you anytime Jay’s attention drifted to somebody else for too long. Your mom used to tell you that you were just used to always being the star of his show and couldn’t handle it when you were out into the background but you figured that you should know better by now, know that you would never be pushed aside for somebody else.

Maybe that was the issue, the two of you always prioritizing each other over actual relationship or even family at times. You’d had dates that would get awkward at the mention of your best friend and you’ve gotten your fair share of nasty glares from the few girls Jay had actually brought around you.

He let your weak answer slide and in return you didn’t push for an answer about why he wouldn’t just let himself go with you, not saying anything else and listening to his breathing level out as he fell asleep underneath you.

——

“A double date? What the hell does that even mean?” You were rushing to catch up with Yuna, eyebrows furrowed due to the news she had just dropped on you casually before continuing to make her way to the class she was late for. You were practically breaking out into a jog to match her long strides. “Why would Sunghoon tell you that and not me?”

“Did you give him your number?” She was quickly retorting and barely sparing you a glance before she was nodding. “Exactly.”

“So he wants to go on a date with me but with you and Jay too?” You were attempting to confirm what she had said but she was sighing softly like repeated it would be a hinderance, stopping in her fast walking to allow you to catch up as you panted softly. “Do you even like Jay?”

“Are you kidding me Y/N? No I don’t like your pseudo husband.” She was shaking her head and scrunching up her nose like the thought grossed her out, your face flushing slightly at the title she had given him as you pushed your messy hair out of your face.

“I don’t think he’d agree to that.” You were telling her and glancing to the side awkwardly, not really understanding the whole situation or the fact that Sunghoon had somehow managed to apparently be interested in you despite the extremely awkward interaction you’d had a few days ago.

“He already has.” She was retorting quickly before turning on her heel and beginning her speed walking again, leaving you standing there dumbfounded as you tried to process what she had said.

You called out to her to ask for clarification but she didn’t turn around and just waved a dismissive hand at you, eventually disappearing around a buildings corner and you could do nothing but sigh softly.

There was absolutely no way Jay had willingly agreed to hang out with Park Sunghoon, adding on the fact he’d be crashing your date and also having to go out with Yuna, who he’d expressed dislike towards multiple times despite your weak defense for her behavior towards you. Your head was swarming in confusion and you almost pulled your phone out to call him and demand answers when you remembered he was at work.

You frowned softly and started to walk again, heading to the other side of campus where his work building was and trying to understand what scenario would lead to him agreeing to come along and also why he hadn’t told you in advance.

The small entrance bell was ringing out loudly as you passed through the door and you tilted your head to try and see around the counter to check if he was there, smiling softly when he was popping his head up with a surprised look.

“Hey.” He was breathing out when he realized it was you, standing up swiftly and circling around the counter until he was standing in front of you. You tried to ignore how out of character it was that he was greeting you so softly, a hand coming up to cup your elbow gently and look down at you. “You alright? Did you lose your key again?”

You were shaking your head and staring up at him with a slight flush to your face. “No just wanted to come here instead of going home. I hope it’s okay, sorry I didn’t call.”

“Don’t say sorry.” He was quickly interjecting and you didn’t say anything after that, just nodding and glancing at the floor hesitantly. He seemed to take notice of your strange demeanor and you picked your head back up when you heard him sigh softly. “You ran into Yuna didn’t you…”

“Why didn’t you tell me?” You were saying instead of directly answering and he looked away from you at the sound of hurt in your voice, still keeping his hand on you despite it tensing.

He didn’t look at you again for a bit but you were almost glad he didn’t, already finding it hard enough to be upset with him when he was just trying to help you. You weren’t sure how to communicate that you didn’t necessarily want help with Sunghoon anymore, knowing he’d stop with the new closeness and routine that you’ve gotten used to other the last two weeks.

“This was the point right?” He was muttering but he seemed hesitant in saying it and a small scoff fell from your lips.

“Right.” You agreed but your tone was bitter and your face had pulled into a grimace, taking a few steps back so his touch fell off of your arms and you were closer to the door again. “Guess I’ll see you tonight then.”

——

Despite absolutely dreading the double date and having no expectations or positive feelings about how it would go, it still somehow managed to be off to a worst start than you could’ve imagined.

Sunghoon had been nearly an hour late to picking you up and hadn’t made any move to get out of his car to greet you, leaving you to wrap your cardigan closer around your shivering frame and round past his hood to his passenger side door. You still planted a smile on your face, trying your best to not make him uncomfortable or show your unenthusiastic mood, but you realized it was pointless considering he was on the phone the entire ride to the restaurant.

He’d greeted you with a half wave before he was cackling about something the person on the other side was saying, not caring as you crossed your arms and zoned out for the entirety of the drive.

You sat in the leather chair after you’d arrived to the restaurant you were meeting the other two at, waiting impatiently and glaring at him from the corner of your eye as he continued his loud conversation for another twenty minutes, parked outside and unmoving. Eventually he was glancing at you and letting out a sigh, announcing to the caller that he would have to call them back.

“Alright, let’s go I’m starving.” He was quickly saying before he was opening his door and leaving the vehicle, leaving you dumbfounded for a few seconds at his lack of manners before you were hopping out and jogging to catch up with him.

You were absolutely fuming by the time you’d gotten inside, not understanding why Sunghoon had bothered arranging this whole entire thing when he clearly wasn’t interested in you. You were used to be outspoken and blunt but you just felt embarrassed about the whole thing and couldn’t bring yourself to confront him while the others were waiting inside.

It got worse once you saw them sitting together although Jay was clearly in the same boat as you, arms crossed and staring blankly at the table in front of him as Yuna chatted animatedly and leaned closer to him to try and show him something on her phone screen.

Sunghoon cleared his throat when the two of you got closer and both of their gazes shot up in your direction, her face curling into a bright flirty smile at the sight of your date. Jay’s eyes widened slightly at the sight of you but then they immediately flickered down to Sunghoon’s hand that was rudely placed on your lower back after he’d complained you were walking too slow.

It could’ve been going worse technically, you and Jay hadn’t spoken a word the entire night but your dates clearly didn’t care, talking to each other nonstop about school and parties they’d attended. The two clearly had a lot in common considering their popularity status and their apparent habit of having terrible manners.

You were sat directly next to Jay and you tried to ignore him for the most part, especially since he was wearing your favorite shirt of his and you could smell his heavy addicting cologne from a seat over.

It wasn’t going too well considering he had been continuously glaring in your direction since you sat down, unrelenting even when the waitress came by and he recited both of your orders with ease. You were fed up with his bad mood, especially since he was the one who had agreed to this entire ordeal, and he was jumping in his seat at the feeling of you sending a sharp kick towards his shin.

Yuna spared him a quick glance at his sudden movement but didn’t stop her rambles and you watched as Jay sighed and pulled his phone out of his pocket. Yours was buzzing only a few seconds later and you glared at him before picking it up and unlocking it.

Jay : What the hell was that for?

Y/N : stop staring at me like that

You watched his face as he read it and you felt slightly flushed when his eyes were meeting yours for a second before going back down to his phone screen and hurriedly typing.

Jay : Stay still

He was putting the device back into his pocket before you had a chance to respond to him and ask what he was talking about, your eyebrows furrowing in confusion as you stared at him and waited for any type of explanation.

You quickly got it when you were feeling something touching your leg underneath the table, jumping slightly at the sudden contact before your wide eyes were meeting his and seeing the slight warning in them. You were reminded of him message to stay still and you planted yourself firmly despite the urge to squirm at the feeling of his hand gently rubbing your bare knee.

“So Y/N, are you working anywhere right now then?” Sunghoon was suddenly asking you and you liked him a lot less than you already did considering he decided to finally speak to you at the worst possible time.

You cleared your throat softly before shifting in your seat to sit up more, accidentally causing Jay’s hand to move further on your leg until it was gently moving your dress up and resting on your thigh. You expected him to move it back down but he kept it firmly there, squeezing your skin softly as he waited for you to answer.

“Um.. n-no not right now I’m just… going to school.” You were trailing off softly after awkwardly squeezing the sentence out and the table was silent as they looked at your flushed face.

“She doesn’t need to anyways.” Yuna was quickly adding and her mouth was curled into a half sneer, playing with her half finished food as she met your eyes for a split second before continuing. “Jay pays for basically everything for her.”

An awkwardness settled over the table at her extremely bitter tone and you saw Sunghoon’s eyebrows raise in interest, that same amused expression he had at the party returning. Jay’s hand was tightening on your thigh harshly and you made a small noise of surprise before quickly pretending to choke and take a drink of your water.

He didn’t seem to notice he had done it and he immediately was releasing the tight hold and rubbing the skin gently as a silent apology, shifting in his seat when you were swinging your foot to kick at his leg again.

“So you two met on campus then?” Sunghoon was continuing to ask questions despite the fact you were obviously uncomfortable and Jay was glaring daggers in his direction.

“Um no.. we’ve been friends since we were little actually.” You were explaining in a soft voice and another flash of interest with through the boys eyes, glancing between the two of you with a weird excitement printed on his face.

“And you never got together?” He was blurting out, clearly not caring about how blunt and overly personal the question was considering you’d barely spoken outside of small talk in passing. Your mouth was parting in surprise and you glanced over at your friend who was as looking more and more angry as the seconds passed.

“That’s none of your business.” Jay was spitting out and his tone was low and harsh, much different than the one he normally had with you.

Sunghoon didn’t seem deterred at all although even Yuna had finally fallen silent, watching the interaction with a careful expression. “She is my date isn’t she?”

You heard your best friend scoff harshly but he didn’t immediately say anything, glancing over at you like he expected you to interject and when you looked over at him with wide eyes and a continuously parting mouth, his features hardened when he realized you weren’t going to say anything. You didn’t do anything but sit there and search for words as he pushed his chair back and stood up, leaving your skin that was warmed under his hand with a sudden chill.

Sunghoon was laughing softly as Jay left the restaurant and you turned to glare at him in disbelief, not understanding his motive but quickly realizing that he was super amused by the two of you and your confusing dynamic.

It wasn’t hard to understand that he didn’t have feelings for you and only invited you on this date for some entertainment, most likely catching interest at the party when you had awkwardly left with Jay. Your mouth was turning down into a frown and you followed his actions of standing up from your chair, flattening down your dress before turning and following after him.

He was halfway through the parking lot by the time you managed to catch up with him, running the best you could in your uncomfortable heels but thankfully he was slowing down when he heard them clicking on the cement. His back was tensed since he knew it was you but you were still grateful he had stopped for you.

“Where are you going?” Your voice was soft and weak, not necessarily voicing the question you wanted to ask but you just felt the need to say something to fill the silence.

“I can’t do this anymore Y/N.” He was turning around as he spoke and he sounded genuinely tired, staring down at you with hooded eyes and a hurt expression on his face. You watched him with confusion and he sighed softly before tossing a hand up in frustration. “I can’t be around you pretending like this, it’s killing me.”

“We don’t have to do it anymore then.” You were quickly telling him although it hurt you to say and you were taking a step closer to try and reassure him, stiffening up when he was automatically backing away from you.

“That’s not what I mean and you know it.” He was saying and he sounded certain but you were confused on what he meant, eyebrows furrowing which only seemed to upset him further. “This isn’t the pretending Y/N, being with you like we’ve been doing for the last few weeks. That isn’t the hard part, how can’t you get that?”

You were slightly understanding what he was implying now but it made no sense to you, a sick feeling washing over you at the fact he was seemingly saying he had been feeling the same way you had been. He was sighing again at your lack of a response but he didn’t say anything, looking to the side where his car was parked before he was glancing at you again.

“How would I get that?” You were countering with more force than you meant to let into your tone, slightly frustrated that he was placing blame solely on you for not realizing his feelings about this whole situation.

“Are you kidding me?” He was laughing but it was completely humorless and angry. Not necessarily at you but definitely at the situation the two of you had gotten yourself into. “I moved down here to be with you dude. I work a shitty job on the campus of a school I was too fucking dumb to get into, stuck in a tiny apartment with neighbors who have no volume control.”

He was moving his hands around a lot as he spoke, clearly upset and releasing thoughts he’d been keeping bottled up for longer than you realized. Your eyes were stinging with tears as you listened to him rant, bringing up the fact you hadn’t gotten into the same school, something you knew had been bugging him for some time.

You never thought less of him for not getting accepted and you had hoped he didn’t either, not ever wanting to talk about it after he decided to just not apply anywhere else. You figured he had come with you so you wouldn’t be lonely but your heart cracked a little at the implication he had solely came with because it was him that didn’t want to be without you for a long time.

Your nose scrunched up at the negative way he talked about his apartment, the disgust in his voice directed towards the same place that brought you the most comfort in the world.

It was definitely small and you’d spend countless nights banging on the walls to try and get the next door neighbors to quiet down but it was always a happy memory for you, giggling with him as you laid flat on your backs and kicked against the drywall repeatedly. You thought about waking up in his small bed together, tugging the blankets more over yourself and listening to his soft grunts of complaints.

Teaching you to cook and not getting upset when you continuously burnt eggs, smiling at you when he’d get home from a long shift and you’d already be there cleaning up the dishes and counters. It was your favorite place to be and he was your favorite person to see and your heart broke thinking that he’d been having a hard time.

“You still don’t get it.” He was shaking his head and pulling you out of your thoughts, figure slightly wavy through your teary eyes and you took another step closer.

“I think I do Jay but how can I if you’ve never said it.” You were telling him softly but your voice was cracking around the words, at least relieved he wasn’t backing up from your approaching frame anymore considering that would’ve caused you to break down.

“How could I say something like that?” He was asking sincerely and he looked down at you finally, holding your gaze and giving you a tiny sad smile. His eyes were wet too and you briefly thought about the fact you hadn’t seen him cry in a very long time.

It was quiet for a few seconds and then you were gently reaching out to him, feeling a wave of relief when he allowed you to hold onto his arm softly and squeeze it. He let out a small shaky breath at the feeling of you touching him and it gave you the drive you needed to be able to say what you were thinking about so heavily for so long.

“You asked me why I don’t like it when you talk to other girls and I said I don’t know, but I do know and I have known for a long time.” You were watching him intensely as you spoke clearly, a faux confidence in your voice that didn’t match the way your heart was beating painfully in your chest. “I don’t really know when I knew or if I maybe just realized when you kissed me.”

His eyes were flashing with something and you laughed softly as nerves overwhelmed you, pausing in your rambles and you were sure he could feel the way your hands were shaking against him because he was placing one of his over yours that were gripping onto his arm, softly rubbing them and giving you just enough strength to push through the hardest part.

“I’m inlove with you Jay and I want you around me for a long time. I need you around me I think and it’s scary but I’d spend the rest of our lives in that tiny little apartment.” You were finishing off as a small sob broke through you but you kept a smile on your face, watching him and shaking your head softly.

He wasn’t saying anything at first and you were feeling a sudden sense of dread, not really thinking about what would happen if he didn’t feel the same way about you and you had gotten it all wrong.

You weren’t able to hold that doubt for long considering he was moving his hand off of yours suddenly to cup your face, pulling you in for a kiss before you were even able to register his movements. You were gasping against him and then immediately turning to putty in his hold, a wave of warmth and reassurance washing over you despite the fact he hadn’t said it yet back.

It wasn’t something he necessarily needed to voice considering he’d spent your entire lives showing it and taking care of you more than anybody ever had, constantly being so gentle and reliable even when you weren’t always the easiest person to handle.

You still felt better when he was pulling out of the kiss to look down at you, still holding onto your face as you both laughed softly in disbelief and relief. He was leaning forward to place his forehead against yours and you were clutching onto his arms desperately despite knowing he’d never go anywhere if you let him go.

“I think I’ve loved you since I met you.” He was saying it in one breath and you immediately noticed the way his shoulders lost all tension in relief, speaking the words that had been running through his mind on loop every time you smiled at him or wrapped your arms casually around him in a hug.

You had no real way of knowing how insane you constantly made him feel, always being the most beautiful person in the room and never giving him the slightest chance of caring about anybody else. You’d constantly complain to him that he needed a better social life for a chance at romance and his heart would turn uncomfortably at the thought of being with anybody but you.

Nobody set his skin on fire like your touches did and the two of you moved perfectly in sync together, easily bantering and moving around each other in a gentle dance that only came with time and understanding.

You were his better half and he’d always casually introduced you as that, laughing softly as you would hit his arm and scold him for trying to flatter you while not having the slightest idea that he meant every single word of it.

“Take me home then?” You were whispering out finally, forehead still against his and feeling the way his thumbs came up instinctively to wipe the tears off your red cheeks.

He was smiling and nodding at you, no hesitance in accepting whatever request you made to him, the same thing that had gotten you into this situation in the first place. He’d immediately regretted it when he first finally kissed you because he’d realized he’d never be able to go without you that close again, feeling sick every time he remembered it wasn’t real for you.

The worry and disbelief that had been building up was finally crumbling down for both of you as you stood there holding each other for a bit longer, eventually taking your hand in his as he lead you to his car and took you back to your home.

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 425: New Normal

Previously on BnHA: Everyone was all “and with that we conclude our final battle for better or worse!! We will now commence our slow return to the new normal, beginning with our protagonist and deuteragonist who are miraculously more or less intact, albeit exhausted and mildly traumatized. Also the words ‘more or less’ are kind of doing a lot of heavy lifting there.”

Today on BnHA: The Big 3 and Aoyama are OUT. Shinsou is IN. The Tododrama is PENDING, and the mysterious figure in the shadows is UNIDENTIFIED. Also class 1-A finally becomes class 2-A and it only took them 425 chapters and TEN LONG YEARS. Can you imagine if this series had actually run throughout their high school experience like people once expected. “THE YEAR IS 2044 AND MY HERO ACADEMIA IS FINALLY WINDING TO A CLOSE.” There’s an alternate universe somewhere where this actually happened and we were all so very, very tired.

This is once again a shorter than usual reaction summary post, as opposed to my typical page-by-page liveblog. Not gonna have time to do those for a while yet most likely, but like hell am I gonna miss out on the last days of the series, so here we are.

Once again basing this off of @pikahlua’s spoiler translation summary here!

watching the eighteen inch tall Rat Principal standing at a podium overseeing this graduation ceremony is surreal in the most wonderful way. it’s like receiving your diploma from a sentient Funko Pop

I love how they established that Mic sitting there screaming at the top of his lungs is also a beloved U.A. graduation tradition, and that the senpais just roll with it while everyone else is in varying stages of trying to decide if it’s too late to transfer to another school

ngl sometimes I forget that Ochako and Toga were actually the second canonical f/f ship in this series. shoutout to Hadou and her adorable girlfriend whose name I absolutely cannot recall

absolutely wild that Horikoshi gives credit to Rat Principal for coordinating the entire disaster recovery nationwide. are you serious. the “world-famous” Principal Nezu?? you’re telling me this little capybara is effectively the secret president of Japan now or something. when does he even sleep

“the principal made great contributions to quirk morality education” is also a VERY interesting tidbit that I really want to know more about. “hey guys what if we did a better job at teaching people not to be dicks with their quirks” AND JUST LIKE THAT JAPAN WAS SAVED huzzah

“we lost many things, but we gained nothing” is both HILARIOUS and soundly depressing, but I can see what he’s trying to get at. still an odd choice for a graduation speech though. “our job is all about harm reduction, and we couldn’t even do that this time around, but in the future we hope to balance things out and maybe even get some net positive impact going!” lmao. again it’s all true, and in all honesty it’s spectacular that they managed as well as they did, all things considered. and I guess it would have been disingenuous to just ignore the reality of everything this particular school body has been through and pretend like everything is great right now. but I still can’t help feeling like there was probably a more inspiring way to get this message across lol

regardless of what he says, Aizawa 100% either bribed or threatened Rat Principal behind the scenes in order to stay with his class. and will do so again next year. he can and will keep getting away with it. he is never leaving these kids

and the sheer relief from all of them upon hearing it is all the justification he needs. these kids have four thousand nine hundred and seventeen accumulated traumas among them. they don’t need a four thousand nine hundred and eighteenth. this man is their father ffs. MINA WAS CRYING AND EVERYTHING

Kacchan watched that YouTube video about a dozen times until he managed to tie his tie all on his own with the one hand. and he did an amazing job. he’s such a model citizen now

also it looks to me like he has his right arm hidden in a sling underneath his shirt, which is interesting. if I’m not mistaken (and I very well could be, since it’s been a hot minute since I did any BnHA timeline math), the final battle took place sometime in early May, so this chapter is taking place roughly one month later. the hospital chapter took place about a week after the battle, so it’s been about 3-4 weeks since then. I really want to know what kind of shape Kacchan’s arm is in, but I guess Horikoshi will get to it when he gets to it

also, “we all gotta be together today” was a real wakeup call to me in that it gave me just an absolutely ridiculous amount of feels. just a totally unreasonable amount. and it’s like. listen, self. Kacchan has completed his character growth arc. he’s a team player and a leader who loves all his friends and they all love him in return. we’ve known this for years now. it’s an established fact. you can’t keep bursting into tears or whatever every time he shows it. this is no way to live your life. I need an intervention

anyways later this evening class 2-A is gonna have a celebratory movie night in the common room, and Kacchan is gonna fall asleep two minutes in peacefully surrounded by all his classmates, and they’re all gonna nudge each other and smile fondly and cover him with a blanket and stay up until 2am and Aizawa will have no mercy on them the following morning. it’s gonna be so wholesome you guys

(ETA: I decided to go back and have some more feels about this one tiny Kacchan panel, because apparently the four paragraphs I already wrote about it weren't enough. so the thing is, Sero's wonderment at Katsuki being out of the hospital initially read to me as half bemused awe, and half "oh boy, time to get back into our usual rhythm of antagonizing Kacchan!" but my second time around, I can't help remembering that all of Kacchan's classmates got to watch this kid getting tortured and strangled and stabbed through the heart in 4K. like, even if they were busy with their own fights at the time, there's no way they didn't see the footage later on afterwards.

and that had to have been traumatic for them. their friend literally died and was just lying there so still for so long afterwards. and him getting better and going back to his usual asskicking self later on doesn't just erase those memories, you know? especially with him having lasting, permanent damage afterward. not just his arm, even! like who even knows if his heart is going to be okay long term. when people get organ transplants they have to go on immunosuppressants afterwards because otherwise their body will try to attack the replacement organ. so I wonder how exactly it works when it's still your heart, but it's being held together by various bits and pieces of a spindly little floss man. idk, but I bet you it's still pretty rough.

anyway so long story short, I'm now reading this as one-third bemused awe, one-third joking antagonism, and one-third genuine "no seriously, is it okay for you to be here, please don't do anything to put your health at risk because we seriously cannot handle you dying on us again." and Kacchan's not even disagreeing with him lol, which has to be the most concerning thing of all. "they said it's okay if I rest." even he knows he's pushing it, but it was too important of an occasion to miss. anyway please take it easy kiddo.)

Aoyama leaving makes me sad but it makes total sense for his character after what he’s been through. he needs time to sort things out and continue down his own personal honor-regaining journey. respect

also glad to hear that it was his own choice and that both Rat Principal and Nao would have supported him if he stayed. I still to this day do not understand Naomasa’s actual level of authority lol. like, he’s supposedly a detective, and yet he seems to be personally in charge of every single important police operation, on like a national level. and he has the authority to make decisions like letting Aoyama go free. he is the law, literally

Aoyama trying to feed Deku some farewell cheese also took me out. like he just walked in there and was all “sorry everyone, I’m leaving, but I’ll still aim for the path of a hero and will one day return, don’t you worry!” and at some point in the midst of this tearful speech he made a beeline directly to Izuku and tried to give him some cheese that he apparently just had in his pocket or something. and Izuku was all “YEAH!” all solemnly but HE DIDN’T EVEN TOUCH THAT POCKET CHEESE. like he loves you and accepts you for who you are Yuuga but COME ON

at this point in the chapter it also became clear to me that Aizawa has his hair up in some sort of loosely assembled messy bun and that’s why it looks so especially flowing and gorgeous today. this is great cinema

and then AT LONG LAST, the admission of Shinsou into class 2-A. they tried everything they could to keep him out, BUT NOT EVEN THE END OF THE WORLD COULD STOP HIM. his rightful place

Ojiro’s scandalized response to hearing Fuwa refer to Aizawa as “Era-sen”, and then Fuwa subsequently revealing all of Aizawa’s secrets and Aizawa getting flustered and kicking her out, was one of the most delightful sequences I’ve read. “nooooo don’t tell them that, what the hell am I gonna threaten them with now”

Izuku has not even attempted to crack a smile since the final battle, aside from when he was frantically trying to reassure Kacchan in the hospital. I’m worried about him but also loving this a little bit, ngl. I am content to wait for you to eventually have a proper breakdown, mister Greatest Hero

also I singled him out on the whole not-smiling thing, but really this is true for just about all of them. my heart aches :(

were there really so many people freaking out over Izuku’s hair that Horikoshi felt compelled to throw in that “HEY DEKU-KUN, YOU SHAVED YOUR HAIR LIKE THAT DUE TO AN INJURY, RIGHT? BUT IT’LL GROW BACK, RIGHT!?” line in there lol. the hilarious thing is that this chapter was already in the books before 424 was released, so it means that Horikoshi anticipated the backlash ahead of time. the man knows his audience

and now for this mysterious little barefoot man randomly emerging from some rubble somewhere. who are you. fandom already thinks you’re everyone from Tenko to Hisashi lol. my personal theory is that he’s just a random citizen who’s hurt and traumatized and needs help. and unlike what happened with baby Tenko once upon a time, this young man actually will be helped by a hero in his moment of need, and it’ll be all hopeful and stuff because SOCIETY IS CHANGING FOR THE BETTER NOW HOORAY

or maybe he really is Tenko, idk. what do I know lol. don’t listen to me

lastly, Shouto out here immediately leaving U.A. after class and ruining my dreams of a class 2-A movie night. FINE THEN. GO AND BE WITH YOUR FAMILY my precious little life preserver. and I’m actually really, really excited to see what their endgame is actually, so yes, Horikoshi, bring it on please and thank you

[hideawaysis]

i miss my old ocs so here's a list of all of them

lizzy the labrador: THE OG!!!!! MY VERY FIRST FURSONA!!!!!! she was a fnaf oc at first (hence the animatronic versions of her) but eventually she just became a Regular Dog. she had a sister named lisa i think and she was dating littledawg (pictured below)

littledawg (second image made by jennycaro70 on scratch): he was a character i got as a prize for winning a coloring contest! i remember i couldn't think of a drawing i wanted as a prize so i just said "a green dog with a red paw screeing at the camera" and that's what i got! he died in a car accident and came back as a zombie demon dog :3

cotton candy: she was a fox who was lizzy's ex-girlfriend and she was CRAAAAAZYYYYY and liked to kill people. i think she was a princess too. also heterochromic...smh what's wrong with a man and a woman marrying... /joking

shigo: another old fursona! he was just a wolf with cool dyed hair, didn't really have any lore apart from being Me. i originally made him for an old youtube intro where his name was rika and then i picked him back up when i first came out as trans and renamed him to shigo! i love him

kaiz and snake (they're heavily related so i'm listing them together): these two were brothers! i originally made them for someone else but then i got too attached and they gave them back to me...snake was based on a childhood drawing apparently but my memory is so bad i don't remember which one lmao

lillypad: this character was originally a warrior cats oc! but then she became a fursona of mine not related to warriors. i honestly don't remember much abt her, but she still means a lot to me.

nyx/jinx: i don't remember much abt this character either apart from the fact that she used to be named jinx until i gave her the name nyx instead...also she was CRAAAAAAZYYYY and liked to kill people ig. she had a half cat half dog son iirc. girlboss. let her kill

flappy: THIS IS THE ONE THAT HAD ADHD AND STIMMED BY FLAPPING HIS ARMS. he's so silly i love him. he was CRAAAAAZYYYYY but he did not like to kill people. also he was friends with littledawg

REV (second image drawn by moonpaw12345 on scratch): OHHHH THIS GUY he was a robot dog that was nervous more than half the time but was so so sweet...i remember when i was younger i got a popular person on scratch to draw REV (the person who drew the second image) and i was SO excited about it...i need to draw him again he was Cutes

miriam: i originally made miriam for a series of horror games! she was the result of a father experimenting on his own daughter and killing her and so she turned into an evil dog demon that haunted an old video game and would break through the screen and kill people. moral of the story: human experimentation is bad and also don't abuse ur kids

i owned way more characters than just this but it'd honestly take forever for me to list them all LOL so here's all the main ones i owned and the ones i cherish the most!

[gothghostiie]

Listen: 141 + more with a reader who has massive daddy issues

aka me lol

also like,, this is based on my own experience so yea👍🏻

Ghost

I feel like Ghost would kind of 'refuse' to properly deal with it. Would definitely do little things like holding your hand while crossing the street, calling you little one, soft shit like that. Also occasional, soft praise.

It's one "Good job, love." from him and you will melt I promise.

but gives you so much fucking reassurance. like, if you have abandonment issues, he'll singlehandedly heal them.

Soap

Definitely jokes around about it. Will regularly randomly play daddy issues by the neighbourhood and thinks its hilarious. Will call you a good girl/boy/etc every chance he fucking gets.

Definitely tries to deal/help in a very jokey manner, like overly baby talking you and stuff like that - promise he means well

he can also be serious if needed tho

Gaz

Doesn't think much about it to be honest, will keep treating you as he always did. definitely offers comfort if you need it tho - depending on your and his mood he will joke about it with you.

like if you initiate a joke he will definitely go in on it with you, he's genuinely happy to help you cope with humor

Price

good lord. where do I start.

He'll heal it without even trying. Hold his hand, sit on his lap, cuddle up to him - he'll happily oblige. Whether he knows or not he just takes a leading/nurturing role - it's natural to him.

All the praise too, good lord. "That's my girl/boy/etc.", "Just like that, good job.", "I'm so proud of you sweetheart" I'll literally combust

Alejandro

Naturally kinda same as Price but different yk?? kind of stricter but soso loving and nurturing.

if you tell him about your daddy issues his heart breaks for you, he'll just hold you tightly and give you a gentle forehead kiss (even if you tell him its okay, he insists its it's in fact not okay)

Will try his best to help you cope, genuinely sweet about it

Rudy

Where to even start. Will naturally heal your daddy issues with his kindness and understanding.

he does so many sweet little gestures that make you feel that kind of way yk???

like putting his hand on the small of your back or on your neck, holding your face gently, forehead kisses,,, ahhhh

König

Also feels really sorry for you, no matter if you reasure him its okay.

will ask if he can help somehow and just does his best to be there for you honestly.

Unhealthy amount of pet names but it's so fucking amazing trust me

also bear hugs that will make you feel like a fucking kid in his arms because that man his humongous fucking look at him

will let you hold his fingers instead of his hand

Graves

Excuse me while I scream

Look at him. hes so lana del rey old money coded I dont even know where to start.

hand on your thigh while driving, calling you all the sweetest pet names "darlin', sweetheart, babydoll,,,,", those stern little looks that make you melt, all the good shit. also constantly being called a good girl/boy/etc

will let you call him daddy

[ellilyre]

I saw a post about autistic Diomedes and was very interested if you have any other headcannon that relate to that or just about him in general

Yes !! I love him sm. Let's go for my autistic Diomedes headcanon >:)

(also he's one of my fav characters so you can find more rambles and HCs about him on my acc ;))

(Just to make clear this is very self indulgent and many things r based on my own experience with autism)

Tbh it all started when I saw that and immediately thought of Diomedes

He can lie but he rarely considers it as an option. When someone asks him anything it just feels normal to tell the truth (and it tends to annoy Odysseus)

He also sucks at tones and facial expressions (both to use and to understand in others) so he appears as very unexpressive and hardly gets hints or sarcasm or anything (which may cause problems with some ppl (coughlyingodysseuscough))

He often sounds meaner and more rude than he means to, but ppl assume it's bc he has high expectations of them and it usually motivates them to do better.

He also gets praised for not complaining after months of eating the same 3 meals during a long expedition, but.... He genuinely enjoys eating the same things over and over.

As a kid he hated eye contacts but he was told it's rude so he forced himself to get over it. Now, he straight up stares too much at ppl, and that makes him come off as intimidating (he doesn't mean to, he just wants to be polite.)

He bites things, a lot. (Usually either his knuckles, the skin of his hands, or the inside of his cheeks. But tbh if he's not paying attention he will chew on anything between his hands).

In my experience all autistic ppl have at least one animal they adore. For him it's the horses. No matter how old he is, he will always go "omg horses" and attempt to pet them bc they're just that cool to him.

Also he has no clue he's different so he assumes "I seem to be the only one struggling with things such as social gatherings where there are a lot of ppl talking at once and a lot of different smells and all- that must mean I'm weak and need to toughen up."

And as you can guess, his meltdowns get pretty violent and sometimes dangerous (for others and himself) (but, well, he's a man from ancient greece how else do you want him to cope /lh)

Well, to sum up my HC in one meme

Actually ty anon im glad I get to talk about this HC lol

[wheresmymilliondollarman]

aaron warner x ferrars!reader

hcs about being juliette’s sister and aaron being enamoured by you.

(taken place during shatter me /some of unravel me) 

a/n: this is a borderline fic, but i used bullet points so i’m labeling it as hcs (LOL). i use the hayden fancast, but feel free to envision aaron as you want. reader and juliette aren’t biologically related but both adopted & grew up together thinking they were related by blood. you’ll likely being seeing me use juliette more than ella bc i prefer it and confuses less. readers powers similar to emmaline, but differs. (heavily took inspo from jean grey & wanda maximoff)  timeline changes a bit. also i don’t exactly know/remember how school worked during the book so i’m just going by my own experiences LMAO. lmk if you are interested in a part 2!

word count: 9.6k

warnings: mentions of mental and physical abuse, gun violence, mentions of injuries and blood, some swearing, long backstory, grammar errors and spelling mistakes

you and juliette were the same age; you were younger by a few months. however, due to how close your birthdays were, your “parents” decided you both would be played off as twins to yourselves and everyone else. of course, growing up you did see the differences in appearance between you and juliette, but your parents assured you it was due to being fraternal twins. 

you both were very close sisters; you shared a small bedroom in your home. facing the abuse from both your parents brought you even closer. you both shared your thoughts, secrets, feelings, and anything else with each other. anytime your parents shouted at you, hit you, or berated you, juliette was there with open arms to comfort you - telling you it would be okay. even tho she wasn’t sure herself.  you returned the favor vice versa. 

similar to juliette, you also discovered you had a curse gift at a young age. instead of a lethal touch, however, you were gifted with the ability of mental manipulation. you began to discover the nature of your ability when voices that weren’t your own, were suddenly heard in your head whenever you neared another person. being only 6, you thought you were going insane and tried to confide in your mother. she did not take well to this and scolded you for being a liar and attention seeker. she urged you never to mention this to anyone ever, or else you would be seen as a psycho freak and bring shame to the family. 

after that, you were too ashamed to even mention it to juliette, afraid she would react negatively too. eventually, you were able to piece together that the voices were actually the thoughts of others. you hated your gift; it felt like an invasion of other's privacy. you would never want someone to listen to your every thought, so why should you listen to people's. it was even worse, you couldn’t control it to prevent the unwarranted thoughts. you did what you could to try to avoid reading minds, luckily, being an outcast had its advantages because if people remained far enough, you weren’t able to hear their minds. you were cautious around juliette because you would never want to take advantage of the privacy of her mind. 

even before the accident that revealed juliette’s gift, you both were never popular among your peers. your shy personalities made most assume you were just weirdos, and as a kid, that’s the worst possible title to have when you wanna make friends. of course, there was a boy named adam kent who was occasionally kind to you both, but you could tell his interest was more focused on juliette. based on a few thoughts of juliette’s you unintentionally listened to - you knew she was forming a small crush on adam.

at one point, you were able to conjure a friend of your own during one recess. you noticed a girl in your grade, sabrina, crying behind the slide on an afternoon, and found out the reason for her distress was a bad grade on a math assignment. while sabrina didn’t tell you directly, you were able to piece together the strictness of her parents based on her thoughts. you felt sympathetic towards her, you knew how harsh parents could be on school grades. it was then you offered to help her with her assignments to prevent her from failing. the girl seemed reluctant at first, and her mind was filled with not-so-nice thoughts on you & juliettes reputation, but finally, she accepted your offer. 

sabrina’s thoughts on you were pretty negative the first few times you got together to study, she was embarrassed to be seen hanging with you, and she didn’t want to get a bad reputation among the class too.  as you hung out more, you partnership turned into a real friendship. she sat with you for a few minutes at lunch before returning to her own group, and you were invited to her house to hang out on a few occasions. sometimes like juliette, you did your best to turn a blind eye to her thoughts for the sake of her privacy - this was your first official friend, and you didn’t wanna mess it up. 

however, you did mess it up in the end. you and sabrina were friends for almost a whole school year, and you truly believed she was your best friend. any negative thoughts she had originally were nowhere to be found and replaced with mundane ones about school, family, hobbies, etc. at this point, you were still struggling to learn the extent of your abilities and having no one to confide in really affected you. you decided you could trust sabrina with your secret, and maybe just maybe, she wouldn’t hate you, and you could grow even closers as best friend. 

you were totally, indefinitely, absolutely wrong. when you confessed your mind-reading capabilities to sabrina, she laughed at you, thinking you were joking, however, after you proved her wrong by reciting phrases, word by word, spoken in her mind, she flipped out. she called you every synonym to the word freak she could come up with and ran away from you. to make matters worse she told her friends about your ability, imploring them to stay away too. of course, you were already labeled a weirdo, so why wouldn’t they believe the weirdo is actually weird. it spread to the entirety of the school which caused everyone to distance themselves from you even more. no one could trust a mind reader, much less have them as a friend when they could read your every thought. 

juliette was quick to confront you at home, in your shared bedroom, about the rumors that spread. you were quicker to break down and confess the rumors were true, how horrible having this ability has been, and the betrayal of your best friend. you thought juliette would also be disgusted with you and make a demand to our parents that you should be sent away and stay very far from her. the fears you had were shut down the moment juliette hugged you tightly and told you she loved you anyway and that she was here to support you in any way she could. 

after you calmed down a bit, you went on to explain your gift, how you found out, and how you felt alone in this whole mess. you were also quick to add on how you did your best to stray from listening in on any thoughts juliette had. your sister assured you she thought no less of you, and it wasn’t your fault you had this gift. she even joked about how she needs to remember to not think about any birthday gifts around you. you let out a soft laugh and were eternally grateful you had such an amazing and understanding sister. 

it wasn’t a shock that soon your parents soon became aware of what everyone at school was saying about you - you were sure it had already spread throughout the town. they berated you for causing embarrassment and shame to your family. unlike juliette, they treated you with disgust, making sure you knew how much of a disappointment you were. next thing you knew, you were pulled out of school for a few weeks, being homeschooled instead. if you didn’t have the comfort of juliette in your room, you would’ve been incredibly lonely in your isolation. 

it didn't end there however; you were sent to multiple therapists. your parents hoped it could help “cure” you of your “disease,” as they liked to call it. you tried multiple types of therapies, even electroshock, when your parents were especially desperate. it was a complete physical and mental torture and made you resent yourself for your gift even more. you weren’t able to see juliette as often, a few times a month if you were lucky. you wanted nothing more than her warm embrace and reassuring words. 

the final straw for your parents was when juliette accidentally killed a young boy with her touch. many believe it was done purposely, even though she was only trying to save that boy. your parents were even more horrified at this point. not only did they have one freak of nature daughter, they now had two. 

you and juliette were both taken away and sent to scientists to be studied and tested on from then on. they experimented on you constantly and tied you down to the lab bed to prevent you from moving. you were beginning to prefer the therapies. hearing juliette’s yells of pain from the table next to yours made you want to kill hurt the scientists badly. it was worse when you knew from their thoughts they had no remorse either but were heavily fascinated with both of your guys’ abilities.  it hurt you to know your sister was going through the same thing, and it infuriated you how they treated you both like wild animals. neither of you asked to be born with this curse. 

eventually, you and your sister were both sent to the asylum quickly after that. while the events that brought you here were poor, you were grateful to share a room and be close to your sister again, even in a hell like that. juliette, however, didn't allow you too near her - afraid she would hurt you as well. you tried to reassure her that she’s never hurt you in any way, and that she’s touched you before the accident, but she didn’t want to risk it. you understood, if you thought there was even just a chance you would hurt and possibly kill juliette, you wouldn’t take it. 

nonetheless, you still did your best to comfort each other in the harsh environment. it was still hard to be happy in the asylum; the treatment didn’t differ much from home. still seen as weird freaks by guards. when the morale was low, you did your best to bring up any happy memories the two of you shared, and juliette would let a small smile grow on her face here and there. however, you couldn’t help but grow lonelier and a bit insane as the days passed. you were too distraught with your own thoughts to really listen in on juliettes, but from bits, you heard you were able to piece this place was also affecting her mentally. 

it was after 264 days (juliette made sure to keep track of the days they were there) that the guards brought in another prisoner, more specifically, a man. you thought this was a cruel joke from the guards; why would they add someone else to those closed spaces.

while you were against listening to the thoughts of others without their knowledge, you needed to make sure this guy wasn’t going to be a threat to you or juliette. however, you heard nothing. no thoughts, no images, no voice - it was silent. you were stunned; this was the first time you haven’t been able to read someone's mind. you probably would’ve been happy if it weren’t for the fact you actually wanted to know this guy’s thoughts. 

adam, you learned your roommate’s name was, was an asshole the first few nights. it started when, without even saying anything, he took over both yours and juliette’s beds for himself, even taking what little blanket and pillows you had. you protested immediately and got up to try and take back your beds, but juliette pulled on your shirt, reeling you back. she insisted the fight wasn’t worth it. you gave in, but still insisted to adam he at least gave you a blanket so you both didn’t freeze to death. he gave you a deep glare but relented anyway. 

those nights you and juliette would huddle in a corner to try your best to sleep, using what you could spare of the blanket to separate juliette from touching you directly. you whispered to juliette about how you couldn’t read his mind, and she seemed as stumped as you were.

adam eventually gave you a bed back so you could sleep a bit comfier. you thanked him, even though he shouldn’t have taken it in the first place, but wanted to remain peaceful. juliette insisted you both help him adjust to the routine here to return the favor. he began to try to press on any backstory about you and juliette, and juliette often responded for the both of you, never giving much information. she also was adamant he seemed quite familiar, but she didn’t know why.

the three of you became somewhat friends, and it would’ve been nicer if you all weren’t stuck in a hell hole. still, you and juliette was able to learn more about the current world through adam; things seemed to be darker than they were 3 years ago. you could sense adam and juliette were forming an unspoken attachment, but you never pressed juliette on it. some nights you would try to go to bed early to give them the privacy to talk. 

you were startled awake one morning by the sound of yelling and guards entering the cell. you turned to juliette to question her on what was happening, but before she could even form a response, you were both pulled roughly by guards and pushed on the ground. they yelled at you to not move or speak, but you still called out to your sister and tried to reach her - which got you a horrible kick to the ribs. you don’t remember much, only vaguely hearing some yelling from adam. before your vision went black. 

the next time you woke up, you were, once again, in what seemed a prison cell. after gaining little strength to sit up, you found juliette next to you - barely waking up herself. you threw each other worried glances, and she mouthed to you it was going to be alright. but you knew from her mind she was already panicking as well. 

the door opened behind you, but you were still a little out of it and too focused on juliette to look as quickly as she did. suddenly her face looked like she saw a ghost. you threw a confused glance to, which she ignored, so you followed your line of vision - adam. based on his attire matching the other guards that entered the room, you knew that meant he was working with them. both sisters were heavily confused about what was going on, but adam was quick to demand that the two of you get up, threatening you with the gun in his hand. 

you both were led to a dark room that suddenly filled with light after you walked in. before your vision could adjust to the light again, a voice called out to the guards to bring you and juliette closer - this prompt them to shoved you with the butt of their guns. 

first thing you noticed was that a man sat before you on a folding chair. the man couldn’t have been that much older than you - he was tall, maybe 6′0 ft, give or take, he had a head full of golden blonde wavy hair, his attire seemed that of a general (decorated with different medallions), and his eyes were a piercing green. he looked straight out of a victorian painting; he was surreal to look at. his presence gave that it demanded respect, and based on the fearful thoughts of the soldiers behind you, he always got it. he was gorgeous intimidating. 

you noticed a name tag on his attire - warner, it said. 

“ferrars sisters, we meet at last.” 

you and juliette remained silent, still not fully understanding what was happening. he leaned closer toward you two, and without even thinking, you stepped in front of your sister. this seemed to intrigue warner, making a crooked smile on his lips. 

he continued anyway - going on to explain adam’s role in the asylum. but as soon as you heard the word kent - you put it together and knew juliette had done the same. adam was the same boy from all the years ago - the one juliette constantly thought of to this day. it took everything in you to not turn to adam at that moment. you knew this betrayal was affecting juliette as well.

not waiting for your reactions, warner went on to say he had a proposition for the both of you to join the reestablishment. you then learned he knew about the abilities you both have; he had been studying the two of you for years. 

creep, you thought. but after a wide-eyed glance from juliette and a painful kick to the back from the soldier behind you, you realized you had said that aloud. warner gave a stern look your way, but saw a small glint in his eyes. maybe it was just in your head. 

warner still went on to say how you could put your abilities to use in the reestablishment, but you knew he meant that juliette could torture people while you could always know what someone was thinking - seek out any traitors. 

you were furious with this situation and the fact warner seemed to think you two would want to hurt people willingly just because you had gifts. you spoke before you even realized it, “oh, i’m just dying to join the reestablishment after they’ve isolated juliette and i and studied us like we were animals.”

you were once again kicked, but this time to the ground - juliette even shouted at the guard a bit in protest. warner held up his hand to say it was enough. as you were getting up (agonizingly), you show warner getting up from his chair and walking closer to you. 

when he stood a foot or two in front of you, he stared at you intensely. you just wanted to crawl into a corner at that moment, his pale emerald eyes made you feel like he could see through you. you then registered another thing. you couldn’t read his mind either.

juliette decided to speak up this time, “what my sister means, is that we have no interest in joining you.” 

warners gaze seemed disappointed at this. he glanced at juliette before looking back at you, “you’re choosing the wrong side here.” 

you both were then sent off, adam being the main guard for juliette and another guard for you. (kishimoto you think his name tag said.)

you and juliette were demanded at dinner, and each brought a dress picked out by warner himself. you couldn’t even deny the dress wasn’t gorgeous, it was white, mermaid style, decorated and embroidered with pearls, subtle floral designs going all around it, some type of pendants in the middle with pearl strings draped - it was in simple, ethereal. 

now, you knew you shouldn’t accept anything warner offers you - but the little girl in you who dreamed of a dress like this took over. you told yourself you were taking advantage of what was given, it wasn’t going to persuade you. 

when it was time for dinner, you and juliette were again side by side, walking toward the dining room. the moment you saw each other, you both gasped and asked “what are you wearing?” you were shocked she was still in her attire from the asylum, and she was shocked you were wearing the dress given. 

after you both explained your reasoning, you laughed at how ridiculous you both looked in a side-by-side comparison. you quickly caught her on to the fact you couldn’t read warner mind like adam, she was shocked and urged you to not let him know for your own safety. then you gave each other a comforting look to help brace yourselves for whatever was to come. 

warner was displeased at juliette’s outfit, but seemed proud to see you were wearing what he requested. he scanned you up and down, making you shift from foot to foot nervously under his gaze. it didn’t help you notice how he cleaned up as well - crisp white dress shirt, black dress pants with a black belt and a gold buckle, fancy black shoes, and a black tuxedo coat. you also took note of the rings on his hands, but especially a green one on his pinkie, which you think you saw him wear earlier too. 

you and juliette sat at dinner, juliette directly across from adam warner next to you. him next to you did not help your nervousness, it increased it tenfold. 

the food in front of you looked so delicious you could feel the saliva forming in your mouth. all you wanted to do was dig in, but hearing juliettes thoughts, you knew she was feeling the same but going to protest it regardless. as much as you love food, you loved your sister more, so you weren’t going to feast no matter how much it pained you. and you knew juliette deeply appreciated it. 

when warner noticed this, he raised a brow, “are you not going to eat?” you nodded no and juliette responded, saying you both weren’t hungry, which was a lie of course and warner knew this. 

juliette was better at pretending than you. you couldn’t help but look at the food longingly every few minutes. you knew it was pathetic but you haven’t eaten in days. the only thing you did give in to was water because if you were gonna starve you, you could at least prevent being dehydrated to death. 

from the side of your eye you saw warner holding back a smile, as if this was hilarious to him. suddenly, he picked up your fork and picked up a bit of the (what you assumed) meat from your plate, and you for a second, you thought he was going to eat it. but instead he held it up near your mouth. “eat.” 

you face felt flush with heat, you knew you were red all over your face. “what are you doing?” were the only words you could form. 

“since you won’t eat willingly, i suppose i’ll have to feed you myself, amor.” his crooked smile was back and even wider. you wanted to die at that moment. 

you reluctantly took a bite after he showed no sign of backing down. you were deeply embarrassed feeling the gaze of everyone on you and warner; you couldn’t even look him in the eye. you knew the smug bastard took enjoyment in feeding you. 

it didn’t end after that, he did that for the entire meal, despite your many protests that you would do it yourself. even juliette followed suit in eating after a pleading look from adam. you could tell warner was pleased.

when dinner finished, warner had taken the task of walking you both back himself. he asked questions about your abilities, you both responded as vaguely as you could. he then asked you and her to showcase your gifts on him. you both profusely refuse, but he didn’t accept that. so instead, he called one of his soldiers and demanded he removes his gloves - you knew from his thoughts he was terrified but still obeyed the order. 

thats when juliette ran off, you following behind before warner grabbed your arm tightly, stopping you. he started ordering his men to get her. it didn’t take long for the soldiers to surround her, trapping you. the soldier ordered from before, jenkins, stood in front of juliette once more and, despite her begging, grabs her. 

he’s immediately bent down in pain, screaming in agony. juliette was in what seemed like a trance, and she was having trouble letting go.

you made the haste decision to knee warner in the crotch and run off to juliette. you swiftly wrapped your arms around her and pulled her away with all your strength - making you both fall to the ground. you believed a good percent she wouldn’t hurt you, but was still very relieved when no pain seemed to come.

when you turned to juliette she looked stunned but then passed out in your arms. you didn’t realize your were crying when you shook juliette’s body and repeated her name. or even when you shouted for help for the sake of both your sister and the poor guard nearly dead on the ground. 

warner (after recovering from your knee) pulled you away, trying to calm you by rubbing a hand on your back, but it only made you more furious.

you pushed him harshly back, though he barely reacted, and in a second, slapped him across the face. you angrily spewed out how he could do that to both your sister and the guard and called him nefarious names.

when you came down from your fit, you realized what you had just done and gasped, putting a hand over your mouth. while you hated warner at that moment, you knew he could kill you and juliette without a second thought. no one moved for a moment, you thought time was still. warner was looking so dangerously at you, you were starting to think you could die from it. 

without looking away, he told kent to tend to juliette, and that the rest of the men to clean up the mess and deal with jenkins. it was eventually just you and him in the hall. you suddenly found the ground very interesting. you were honestly scared. 

he grabbed your chin, making you look at him directly, “you were upset and acting rash, so i’ll let you off this once. but the next time you try something like that, it won’t be so easily forgiven, amor.” 

you said nothing but gave a slight nod in response. he then walked you to your room, and bid you a good night. 

he turned around before leaving, “don’t worry much about juliette, she’ll be alright. oh, and don’t think i’ve forgotten about your gift, i expect a demonstration very soon.” he had another stupid smirk on his face before closing your room door. oh god, you were in trouble. 

he made an appearance in your room the next day, commanding asking you to join him on a walk. you knew it wasn’t an actual question, so you got ready to go. 

you went outside, still on base grounds, and for a moment, you were shocked - you couldn’t think of how long it had been since you were outside. 

“what, never seen a tree before?” 

“i’d forgotten what they looked like.” 

you could’ve sworn you almost saw pity in his eyes, but it was quickly gone and replaced with his usual neutral face. he didn’t respond and grabbed your arm to guide you on the walk. 

he never let you out of his grip, much to your disdain. he went on to say juliette was going to be fine, along with jenkins, the guard. 

throughout the walk anytime a soldier passed by, he asked you to tell him what they were thinking. you could’ve lied, but then again, you were honestly bad at lying. so you complied. a lot of it consisted of random thoughts like hunger, complaining about their job, some light gossip, and even a few uncomfortable ones about you. warner looked irritated when you told him the last one, but overall amazed at your gift. 

he must’ve thought you have somewhat control over hearing thoughts or not because he then gave you permission to read his thoughts. you didn’t want him to know you couldn’t, so you asked him to see juliette and remove the cameras in both of your rooms before you would do so. 

he thought about it for a moment, especially regarding the camera issue, but eventually relented and agreed. he took you straight to her room, walking side with you too. 

as soon as you saw her, you gave her a huge hug and asked how she was feeling. she wasn’t used to being to someone close yet, so she tried to back away at first, but then returned the hug.  

ignoring warner still standing at the door, you both tried to think of an explanation for being immune to her touch, but couldn’t come up with anything. but you both were mutually glad you could be physically close again without a barrier. 

warner interrupted your touching moment with his questions to juliette about the night before, to which she was angry he brought up again. you knew she still thought she killed jenkins, so you cut in to let her know he was fine (mostly). they both went back and forth for a bit before you had to say your goodbyes to juliettes, dragged away by warner to your own room.

after that, he did his other part of the agreement and got your guard, kenji, to do it. while the two of you didn’t interact much, you knew he was better than the other guards assigned to you. he also often had thoughts that made you silently laugh when he wasn’t looking. 

you also saw warner quite frequently, more than you thought you would it was becoming annoying to you. he would pop up in your room almost every day - when you were in bed, walking in the room, getting out of the bathroom, etc. there was even a time you had just gotten out of the shower with a towel around you and, low and behold, he was there on your bed, with his arms behind his head looking in your direction.

you shrieked and ran back into the bathroom, yelling at him to get out. he laughed in response, telling you he didn’t mind the view, but let you know he’ll wait outside your room.

when you returned to your bed, you noticed he had left something there, clothes. he even chose the undergarments. he had the audacity to pick out your outfit after coming unannounced. but... you did end up wearing it because, hey, the guy knows how to style. 

after noticing you wore what he put out, he made it his mission to pick an outfit for you every day, even if he wasn’t physically there, he would send a guard with the clothes. 

it was annoying how good his fashion sense was because you deeply wanted to protest this and wear your own choice, but the clothes were just so pretty it was hard. you never had worn such expensive clothes before it felt nice to be able to now, even though you were basically a prisoner here. and you didn’t need to hear his thoughts to know it made warner even cockier than normal when you wore the clothes. 

whenever warner visited you it was barely ever for anything important, mostly stupid questions about yourself as if he didn’t know much of your life story. but when you tried to turn the tables and ask him personal things, he would answer vague or change the subject - even on the topic of his first name.

you saw juliette when you could, kenji was pretty lenient on it whenever you asked him to take you to her. 

the two of you discussed warner, the reestablishment, and when the topic of adam came up she admitted he could touch her as well, which was a big surprise. made you a little sad you weren’t the only one special now. she explained how she found out, and also went on to say he hadn’t betrayed you both and was going to help you and her escape. knowing there was a chance for escaping made it easier for you to live there. 

however, there were days that really made you hate warner - when he made you and juliette, witness him killing a man in person, showcasing you both like a brand new toy, his ruthless demeanor and unsympathetic nature towards others, etc. but the big one was the day he prepared some type of testing for you and juliette. 

both of you wearing a thin tank top and shorts, way more revealing than the two you were used to. the both of you uncomfortable from the stares it got from the guards. juliette was then taken into a different room from yours. you were led to a room; there wasn’t much in it except a two-way mirror several feet in front of you. you assumed warner and others would-be behind there observing whatever they set up. 

you didn’t know what was to come until dozens of guards began entering the room. as they came closer to you, you could hear all their different thoughts overlapping, getting louder, and overwhelming you. 

you guessed warner wanted to see how’d you react with so many people’s thoughts in the same room - if you were able to stop it altogether, stop some of it, or if it was overwhelming and made your head hurt, like in this moment. 

to an outsider, it was silent, but to you it was as if you were in a busy crowd walking by, hearing all the different types of conversations. you made another guess that warner told them prior to your ability, so to make sure they use their thought more than usual. 

you tried your best to focus, but it was getting to be too much that you started crouching down and holding your head. you closed your eyes and tried to concentrate on yourself. focus, try to make it stop, you told yourself. you could barely hear your own thought from all the noise of the others. stop. stop. please. be quiet. stop it.

“stop! shut up!” you shot up and yelled out, frustrated. it was quiet; you didn’t hear anything. your relief was short-lived as your eyes went wide when saw everyone in the room was now crouched or kneeling down, holding their heads as they shouted out in pain. 

you didn’t understand what happened; all you did was block them out. you did this, you realized you were hurting them. 

you looked around at everyone, trying to figure out how to help, but their pleas and begs for you to stop increasingly grew. you again couldn’t think with everyone shouting at you in agony, it was much worse than when you only heard their thoughts. 

you tried to talk to them, “i’m sorry! i-i don’t know what happened! i’ll fix this! please, i just need a moment to think!” you were quickly panicking and feeling like you were going to cry, burst, or both. a fire feeling was bubbling up inside of you.

you couldn’t control it, your body took over, and you closed your eyes and let out a loud yell - falling down onto your knees. 

instantly, everyone and everything in the room was pushed by an invisible force serval feet back. the mirror separating you from the observers was also broken into hundreds of pieces.

you gasped, both hand covering your mouth as you saw the damage done. did you really do all of this? you didn’t understand how it was possible. you backed against the wall, sliding down to sit on the floor and pulling up your knees to hug them.

during your breakdown, warner must’ve come out of the other room because he had come slowly walking toward you. you didn’t want to be near anyone at that moment, much less the man responsible for this experiment. he didn’t get too close before you put a hand out to tell him to stop, but instead, it accidentally sent him flying a foot or two back, resulting in him stumbling on his back to the floor. 

you again gasp, horrified. you hadn’t even meant to do that. you felt like an out-of-control monster. unlocking a new ability should’ve been fun, but this was too traumatizing for you. 

you buried your head into your knees and started sobbing, begging for this to all be a dream and that you didn’t actually just hurt a ton of people with your powers. you felt like the star of the carrie movie. 

during all your crying, warner had gotten up again and kneeled beside you. you would’ve been shocked he wanted to be near you again if you weren’t so disoriented. he pulled you close to him, petting your hair in an attempt to soothe you. you were too physically and mentally exhausted to protest his comfort. 

it was all a blur when you were taken back to your room and tucked into bed by warner. you had no energy to change, shower, or even try to check on juliette. you blacked out before you knew it. 

juliette sought you out the next day; she also looked distressed. before she could even talk, you knew from mental images what had gone down. you held her close and cursed warner up and down for doing that to her. you were also astounded at her newfound ability. she asked about you, and you confided in her what had happened with your testing. similar to you she was bewildered to learn what else you could do. 

she brought up the topic of escaping again, and you were happy to jump on that topic. adam then walked into the room; you both greeted each other with a hug - you hadn’t realized how long it had been since you saw or even interacted with each other. you three then divulged into possible ways to leave; the quicker the better. but you were interrupted when an alarm went off in the whole building, commanding all soldiers to gather. juliette urged adam to go to avoid suspicion. 

he hesitated, and in that moment, warner barged into your room. he gave juliette and adam questioning glances, “soldier, what are you two doing here, there an alarm.” 

adam was quick with an excuse. “we were already here before the alarm went off. i wasn’t sure what to do with them as juliette was under my watch, which also extends to her sister.” 

if warner thought he was lying, he didn’t show it. “alright, as you can see, i’ll handle it from here. please escort juliette back to her room before you go.” 

adam nodded and lead juliette out the door, not before she could shoot a worried glance to you. 

now it was just you and warner. he didn’t say anything for a moment, then he asked what you and juliette were discussing. you were honest but kept it short and responded by saying you were talking about the testing the day before. he went silent again.”

“do you write?”

you were thrown off, huh? “not particularly no.” 

“hm. weird because i wandered across this in juliettes room.” 

he had brown worn out notebook with fade florals on it. you internally gasped when you noticed it was your old journal.

for context, when you were around 6, you were given a journal to practice writing but ended up keeping it for personal use. you used it over the years - up until you were taken away. juliette must’ve saved it for you because it had left your mind during those 3 years of isolation. you couldn’t barely even remember what you put in it. 

“uhm, thats not mine.” you mentally face palmed.

“no? it says your name on the cover of it.” 

curse your six year old self. 

he came closer, “it’s honestly cute when you try to lie, amor.” 

you prayed your cheeks didn’t have hints of pink.

“i’m gonna need that journal back.”

“hm, alright, but i’ll need a favor first.” 

“what favor?”

“read my mind.” 

you were taken aback, no one had been so desperate to have their mind read as much as warner. in fact you can’t name a single person whose ever asked you. you needed an excuse and quick. 

“no, i rather not.” you tried to keep your face neutral. 

“why? are you that repulsed to see inside my head, or is there another reason? my bet is on the latter.” oh no. 

you were saved from answering when a gun was pointed at warner, and at the one pointing it was your sister. “get away from her.” 

you were so proud of juliette in that moment, but then a gun was pressed to your chest. 

“i’ll shoot.” 

“you’d be an idiot then.” 

warner didn’t need to respond because adam came in and hit him hard with the butt of his own gun. however, this caused warner to misfire on the part of your thigh. 

you held back a scream; you didn’t want juliette or adam to see and worry - they were preoccupied with warner, handcuffing him to the wall. luckily, you were wearing black pants that day, so the blood wasn’t visible if you weren’t paying close attention. 

adam grabbed duffel bags and put them near the window, and then you realized you were going to have to jump, and now you werent sure if you could. 

“we need to leave now.”

“you can’t seriously believe you can trust kent, he’s using the both of you.” 

you scoffed. “as if you’re any better.”

“i only want you to reach your potential amor.” 

juliette cut in with her gun pointed, “shut up and call off your soldiers.” 

he let out a humorless laugh, “over my dead body.” 

after realizing he will provide no help, you all gathered near the window. 

“you’re making a mistake, both of you! don’t tell me you’ve fallen for kent’s romantic notions like your sister.” 

“no, but i trust him a whole lot letter than you.” 

“we have a connection and you know it.” 

“no-” “i can be patient, and you’ll learn to love me-”

“stop!” “no one understands you like me!”

adam shut him up by hitting him again, making warner stagger back.

he returned to the window, “we’ll have to climb then jump off. i’ll go first and catch each of you.” 

“you can’t touch her.”

no one answered warner. “wait, amor, can he touch her?” 

you ignored him despite his constant repeat of the question. 

adam went out the window, and then signaled for you and juliette to go down. 

you looked down at your leg; not too severe, but it was painful, and needed attention very soon. warner was also on the verge of breaking free of the handcuff, so it wouldn’t be long before he chased after you all. you decided in that moment you couldn’t hold them back if they wanted to escape. 

juliette was climbing down, gesturing for you to follow suit, but you stood still.

“juliette, i’m not going.”

“what? why? don’t tell me warner go to your head.”

“of course not, it’s just...juliette i’m injured.”

she climbed up a bit enough to see your leg, and she gasped. she started asking why you didn’t say anything, but you briskly interrupted that you’ll hold her and adam back, it was best if you didn’t go. no matter how much you wanted to leave this wretched place. 

she of course, protested, saying she won’t leave you behind. behind you, you could sense warner breaking free and coming toward you both.you worried you’d have to do plan b. 

“i love you, don’t hate me for this.” 

“for what-” “adam get ready to catch her!” 

warner was next to you in a second, reaching for juliette, but you quickly pushed the rest of the rope in the window out - leaving juliette to fall straight down into adam. 

you tackled warner to the ground to prevent him from reaching out to stop the rope. but you noticed the brush of their hands before her fall. he could touch her too. 

you didn’t have time to contemplate because the pain in your leg made itself known again, oozing more blood. you noticed some blood had seemed onto warner when you tackled him. crap you forgot too much blood loss = death was a thing for a moment. 

you rolled off our warner and ripped off a piece of your dress to try and wrapped it around the wound. 

warner recovered and noticed you were hurt, he looked worried and quickly removed his coat to use as a makeshift tourney kit. “what happened?” 

“your misfire.” 

he frowned, “never meant to actually shoot you amor.” 

soldiers were piled in the room in an instant, warner demanded adam and juliette be brought back, and alive. 

he carried you to the infirmary and sat next to you as the medics handled your injury. 

when the medics left the room, you could tell he was going to start questioning you. 

“you’ve been a very bad girl you know, helping your sister and kent escape.”

“is this the part where you torture me for information? i don’t know where they went.” 

“oh, i know. but maybe some spanking ought to straight you out.” 

you turned to him alarmed, “what? you’re not serious, right.”

he grabbed your chin, “hm, i don’t know, do you promise to be a good girl?” 

your face flamed red, “s-shut up!” 

he laughed at you, amused, “you’re too cute.” 

he eventually went off, assuming to check on how the hunt for juliette and adam was going. you prayed they made it our alright. 

your leg was feeling much better, you could now walk in it with a small limp. might’ve just been the painkiller, but regardless it was enough you were released to go off to your room that night. 

warner escorted you back, not trusting his soldiers, and preventing a second escape attempt. as you both walked the halls you heard whispers about kishimoto being under investigation, in other words being tortured in a cell right now. 

you immediately asked warner about it and he shrugged saying he was friends with adam and was your guard, so he wanted to ensure he had no information concerning the escape. you tried to defend him, saying he wasn’t involved, but warner didn’t yield and that he would be the judge of that.

he helped you into bed, making sure you were comfortable. then he stood by the door, getting ready to leave.

“don’t think your off the hook just yet, i’ll question you tomorrow, especially involving your sister and me being able to touch her.” 

oh shit, he noticed. of course he did, he’s a perceptive bastard.  

“and, it’s aaron.” 

you threw a confused look. “my name, it’s aaron.” and with that he walked out, locking your door securely. 

huh. aaron warner. interesting. 

when you awoke the next day you were again with aaron warner by your side. he waited for you to get dressed then took you with him wherever he went. 

you could sense something was wrong but didn’t want to ask. from a few whispers and thoughts, you were able to find out what happened- kenji kishimoto escaped. you were silently cheering, glad he was no longer being tortured. he was your favorite guard after all. you hoped somehow he was with adam and juliette and they were all safe. 

you were proven drastically wrong when hours later, you found out they had been spotted and taken by the soldiers back to the base. 

warner was very pleased with the news, he ordered adam to be sent to the dungeons while juliette was to be heavily restrained.

you asked warner to speak to them, but mainly juliette. he obviously declined - he didn’t need to you and them trying to escape again. you didn’t let up and continued asking and begging, saying he could be there to supervise, you just wanted to make sure they were okay. 

“please aaron.”

he seemed taken aback by the title and stayed stunned for a moment. he then dragged you away, and you assumed he’d be taking you to juliette. however, instead, you were led to a room, his room, you realized. 

his back was turned to you, “i was surprised when i found out juliette’s touch didn’t affect me, probably the same way you were when you discovered the same. i couldn’t conjure an explanation as to why, and still can’t. but then i started thinking about you and your ability.” he turned around to face you, slowly creeping closer. “i thought about all those times i asked you to read me, but you refuse or avoided it. at first, i thought you were doing to in protest, or even because you had no interest in doing so.” you gulped. “ then this new revelation came and it occurred to me, maybe juliette’s not the only one i’m immune to.” 

he stood directly in front of you, and you were so nervous you wanted to throw up. “you can’t read my mind or thought, can you amor?” 

you went wide-eyed, he knew. you didn’t say anything, still paralyzed. 

he caressed your cheek, “that scares you, not knowing what i’m thinking. must make you even a bit mad.” you couldn’t breathe. he was so close, you felt his breath, and the gun in his jacket pocket. 

“don’t let that stop you from loving me. my every thought is yours, if you want it, and i so desperately want you to want it.” 

he roughly leaned in and pressed your lips together, you couldn’t think for a moment too shocked, but then you remember the gun. 

you kissed back in an attempt to get closer to the jacket. you acted as if you were feeling on his chest, and slowly trying to get your hands on the weapon. 

he murmured, “we’ll be so good together,” before diving in for another deep kiss. you tried to keep up with his rushed lips to keep him distracted.

aaron was so absorbed into the kiss he didn’t notice the gun pressed against the side of his chest. 

you pulled back, his lips following after your before you lightly pushed him away. looking at him directly in the eyes, “i’m sorry it had to come to this.” pow. 

his face was full of confusion, horror, pain, and betrayal before he crumpled on the ground. 

you wasted no time in running off to find juliette before someone found warner. it didn’t take long after reading a few thoughts and taking some guesses of your own. 

you entered to see her on a hospital-like bed with restraints on her arms to legs to keep her immobilized. you were quick to free her and get her back on her feet. once she regained her full consciousness, you both went off to find adam.

you snuck up on a few soldiers and knocked them out with your gun, juliette mainly knocking them out with her strength, and found adam pretty easily. he was in chains hanging by his arms, with his head down. he looked to be heavily injured as well. 

you took care of breaking him free while juliette woke him up. he had trouble standing, so you both carried him by his arms and hurried toward the exit. you three quickly came up with a solution to get out; the guards hadn’t noticed warner or the fact the prisoners escaped yet. 

you all ran outside, helping juliette carry adam. he was heavy, but you carried on, not knowing when guards would start chasing you three.

you and him were left for a moment while juliette went off and before you knew it you were inside a car “woah, where’d you get this!”

juliette was in the driver seat preparing to leave and turned to you, “long story short, it’s stolen”

“cool. wait you know how to drive?” 

“no.”

with adam’s guidance, soon enough, you all were off to your not-sure-where. you were in the back seat while adam and her were in front. juliette had taken the liberty of catching you up on events during the escape, mainly about kenji and james. 

adam and juliette discussed where they could be and then found them. 

you greeted kenji and introduced yourself to james, he was a very sweet boy and seemed a bit excited by this whole situation. having known a bit about you, he asked you to tell him what number he was thinking, to which you couldn’t help but do it. he beamed excitedly. 

juliette was the one to bring up warner, “how’d you escape him, i’m sure you were under heavy surveillance after we left.’ 

“oh..i uhm... shot him.” after he kissed me. 

everyone turned to you, shocked at the revelation, juliette was proud of you for defending yourself, and the rest of them were just struck you even had the chance to do it.

kenji then switched with juliette, leading the drive to this supposed location of people who could help. 

you fell asleep, and when you awoke, there was a large facility like building in the middle of nowhere. 

you got out of the car, helping carry adam again, and rushed into the building. inside there were numerous of people, more than you ever expected. adam got taken away by, what you assumed were, medics. but juliette had many questions. you were too stunned looking around to form anything. at some point a man had introduced himself to us as castle; he seemed like the head of this place. 

you snapped back when you saw juliette hounding kenji, getting dangerously close to him, and then accidentally touching him. it wasn’t enough to kill, but he was still quite injured a bit to be taken away by medics like adam. juliette was then sedated and that’s when your concerns were raised. 

it was your turn to ask questions, but not wanting to end up like juliette, you remained calm. castle briefly explained you all were in a place called ‘omega point’ and its purpose was to build a group of gifted individuals to help them understand their gift. it went against the reestablishment was basically a rebellion against them. 

overwhelmed by information, you asked to be taken to where you would sleep. castle led you to a room and informed you you’d be rooming with two other girls, along with juliette. your sister was already there, still passed out from whatever they gave her. the two twin sisters, who you found out had healing abilities, introduced themselves as sara & sonya. they seemed nice, and you could tell you’ll easily be friends. 

you bid them goodnight after they reassured you adam, kenji, and juliette would all be fine. 

after that first day, the days passed by quickly. you were given a suit to wear, a red leather corset-like top, black leather pants, and a long dark red leather coat, accompanied with black fingerless gloves and black boots. it made you feel like a superhero in it. 

you practiced with castle to help learn to block out unwanted thoughts, which a major relief to learn. he was also helpful in managing your new telekinetic ability since he had the same. another ability you were slowly practicing was mental manipulation, you weren’t sure if you ever wanted to mind control someone, so it wasn’t focused on much, but still learned from time to time. 

you admit, you had a better time adjusting than juliette; she was keeping to herself, having lunch with only you, adam, and occasionally kenji. you couldn’t blame her; the asylum doesn’t exactly help in forming relationships. her relationship with adam was a huge step as it is, and you were proud of her for it. 

eventually, you were stable enough to go on outdoor missions. the first time you went was an unforgettable experience. you saw what society was like after all these years, it was horrible the conditions people were living in under the reestablishment. 

that day you also saw aaron for the first time in a few weeks. you were glad he was alive because it really hadn’t been your goal to kill him. he was wearing a cast on his left arm, near where you shot him. you wondered if he told anyone what happened or changed the story. 

he also saw him human for the first time. when no one was looking, he fed and injured dog, even carrying him for a bit. you found the sight cute. it almost felt like a dream. 

it almost got you caught by him; you swore you made .1 second eye contact before you were turned invisible and taken away by kenji. you didn’t know what could’ve happened if he recognized you. 

after that, you frequently joined them on the outside missions, aaron was there for almost all of them, which left you wondering why. you even encouraged juliette a few times, and she even ended up following along on the most recent one making friends with winston and brendan. 

after the task you got back to your room, juliette made a stop to adam, and it was empty. you took off the clothes given to you to blend in, removing your tattered jacket and replacing it with your red one. 

you were folding the coat to put away for next time when something fell out of the pocket, a paper. 

you didn’t remember putting anything in, so you figured it was there when it was given to you weeks ago. but then again, you should’ve noticed by now if it was. 

curious, you unfolded the piece of paper and looked at it contents. 

you gasped out loud, dropping the paper on your bed in the process. 

see you soon, amor. -your injured dearest, A.W. 

oh, you were fucked.