#bc trust me he deserved it he deserved death actually

[bl00dw1tch]

I take back everything ive ever said abt wanting to have fucked up dreams, what the hell was that

[mad-hunts]

this is a very specific scenario, i know, but barton trauma-bonding with a hero and vice versa because they got stuck in the middle of the desert together due to the fact that they were both simultaneously betrayed / LEFT TO DIE there, but they managed to survive after they spent some time vehemently refusing to help each other in the beginning. though, they soon began to help each other (albeit reluctantly) because they realized that would be the ONLY way that they would survive this. and barton tries to kickstart their bastardization arc™ by telling the hero to kill the people who dumped them there. and this is because, in his mind, they don't deserve to live. then barton goes on to tell them that he's planning on killing the person who betrayed him so it's fineee if the hero does it,, because he ain't a snitch + won't tell anyone they killed anyone (,: now whether or not the hero actually starts their bastardization arc is up to them, of course, but if anyone is interested in a plot like this... HMU because i think this would be such an interesting dynamic to roleplay 👀

[ppulverse]

how can some people be so heartless lol

[heartpascal]

can we get more father figure joel? You know when Ellie killed the David, and then Joel comforted her? Maybe that but instead of Ellie it’s the reader, thank you <3

i am good

▹ joel miller x platonic!f!reader

▹ — summary: joel finally sees the darkness in himself reflected in you.

▹ — a/n: ok first request i hope it’s ok!! i know its kinda similar to the game but erm. its reader and joel this time!! and reader is much much less ok with the whole. murder thing but its ok bc joel is there to fix it &lt;3 yes he is your dad no you don’t get a choice he has decided it

▹ — warnings: allusions to sexual assault (nothing happens but the intention was there), vivid descriptions of murder, reader is misled and attacked, similar to the game with ellie (so kinda spoilers?), joel is ready to kill for you (and does), lots of blood, tears, father figure joel, lots of angst and upset, vomiting

masterlist

∘₊✧───── ───── ───── ─────✧₊∘

Getting air into your lungs was proving to be one of the hardest things you’d had to do for a long time, which, considering the journey you’d been on, was shocking. The act of simply breathing should have come easily to you, but it didn’t. It couldn’t. Not as you saw the reflection of your own bloodied face in the knife that was held up, a clear threat polluting the air.

You knew you had probably been lucky to even make it as far as you had — born into a world full of death and chaos and infection, you were bound to meet your gruesome end some day, but you didn’t want to die.

For the first time in a long time, your chest ached for the breath you couldn’t seem to provide, the want, the need to live almost suffocating you on its own. You had someone now, someone who cared whether you survived or not, who felt like you deserved even a glimpse at a happy ending, even if he didn’t like to state those things out loud.

Resentment was growing in your stomach, filling you with the need to be sick. Why did you always have to listen to the words Joel didn’t say, rather than the ones he did say? If you had just listened, conserved your trust for those who actually earned it, you wouldn’t be in this situation.

When your hunting escapades had led you into a small horde of infected, you had just blindly put your faith in the aging couple who came to your aid, not thinking of what they might want for their troubles. You’d never had to escape without Joel’s help before, and you quickly discovered you weren’t all that good at it.

The two of them had dragged you back to their nearby settlement which they shared with a couple dozen others, all whilst you were kicking and screaming, trying to get away, your resolve fading each time they hit you to near unconsciousness. When they passed by a young man stood beside an older lady, you had called out to them, “Please, help me, please.”

“Gotta get something in return for the gear we wasted saving her ass,” the man had snickered to the two of them as glanced at the couple, just nodding at his words before turning back to their conversation.

You’d been knocked out when they approached a large community house, just getting a glimpse of the carpeted floor before the woman had struck her gun against the side of your head.

You had woken up in the middle of a chilled room, your arms straining with effort as you pushed yourself to sit up, seeing the woman holding a knife towards you. You couldn’t be sure how long it had been since they’d taken you, not with the way your stomach clenched with pain. The whole reason you’d been out there was to solve that, but you were sure that it had gotten worse.

“Listen, please,” your scratchy voice came out, much quieter than you had meant for it to be, “I—I can get you replacements for everything you used, but you gotta let me go.”

“We don’t gotta do anything, girl.” The lady snickered, as if even you saying such a thing was amusing. It made you feel small, powerless.

She got up, hearing her name being called, Cheryl, you noted, and sneered at you. Her skin was dull, and she looked vaguely ill, but that didn’t change anything about her threatening demeanour. At least one thing you’d taken from travelling with Joel was never underestimate your opponent, no matter how small, or ill, or kind they may appear to be.

Her hand grazed your face as she strode past, “Yeah,” she said quietly, like she was complimenting you, “You’ll do nicely. We’ll both enjoy you.”

You managed to avoid throwing up until she left the room, hearing a lock click into place. All that came up was bile, the clench of your stomach just becoming sharper afterwards. Your muscles felt weak, likely beginning to waste away with you having been inactive for a little while and injured, less energy wasted on muscle cells and more going into fighting off the infections that were likely trying to poison your blood.

Scanning the room, like Joel would’ve advised you to, you found nothing of much use to you. An old rickety chair, perhaps, but that would only help you if you could lift it, and you weren’t convinced you had the strength left within you, but you’d be damned if you didn’t at least try.

Something deep in your chest nagged at you, the longing for Joel, probably. He had saved you on countless occasions, and you could only hope that it had been long enough that he had finally gotten worried. It seemed likely, he really did worry a lot for a man who wasn’t meant to care, but then there was the factor of him finding you, managing to take down all the people in the settlement that might fight to protect each other and—

You took a deep breath, finally feeling your lungs expand and take in some oxygen, and pulled yourself from the ground, keeping the bile that threatened to rise down as the nausea hit you.

The chair was lighter than you expected it to be, the insides of the wooden frame likely rotten away, and you managed to pull it towards the door, waiting beside it with shallow breaths. When the lock finally began to click open, you raised the lightweight chair as high as you could, and smacked it down against the person who entered the room. Splinters flew from it as it impacted, and you heard the clatter of metal as a tray they carried hit the ground with them.

Food, maybe, to keep you alive for… whatever it was that they had planned for you, you reasoned, but didn’t look to check. Instead, you grabbed a mostly-intact leg of the chair that caused splinters to dig into your palm, and stepped over the body of the man who had taken you, exiting quickly.

Footsteps hurried you, and you ducked behind a booth as they approached the room you were being kept in. There were lanterns lit all around the room, giving it a warm look that greatly contrasted the cold air and feel it had.

“Shit!” Cheryl cursed, and you saw her bend down to check on the man from over the top of your booth. A radio crackled though the air, before, “Lewis is down, the girl’s out. Anybody got eyes?”

Your fingers shook and you gripped on to the booth to stop them, hearing the distorted reply of whoever was on the other end of the radio, “She ain’t got out, yet, she’s gotta be in there with you. You need backup?”

“No,” Cheryl replied, her cold voice sending shivers down your back, “I’ve got her.”

The drag of Lewis’ clothes against the floor made you peak your head up, seeing her drag him into the room, before she exited and locked him inside. You ducked back down, heart hammering. You couldn’t escape from them in an open forest — how would you get out of a locked down building?

“Come on out, kid. It’s okay, you just gotta start behaving yourself.” She called, her slow footsteps failing to mask the sound of her unsheathing her knife. It wasn’t okay, it was very far from okay, you would argue, and you could feel that crushing fear of death pushing down on your shoulders, your chest constricting once again.

You tried to reassure yourself — you had faced countless amounts of infected and come out on the other side, what was one woman with very bad intentions? But it didn’t make you feel better, not when it was another human, who could feel exactly what you felt.

Her footsteps approached, and you leaped from where you were in the booth, trying to run as far away from her as fast as you could, but she caught up to you with surprising ease, your muscles clearly weaker than initially thought, and she grasped the back of your shirt, pulling you to a stop as you fell to the ground.

“Get the fuck off of me!” You cried out as she knelt down, one knee beside you and another pressing against your stomach, knife approaching your throat as soon as she settled you firmly against the carpet. It was red.

“You could’ve made this real easy for all of us,” she muttered your name, and you froze, having forgotten the way you’d yelled it out to them in the midst of the battle. “Be a good girl, now.”

You heard gunfire outside, and when her face glanced toward the guarded front door, you twisted underneath her, pushing yourself away to find enough room to kick the knee against the floor out from under her. She fell, her chin hitting the ground with a satisfying crack, and when she cried out, anger overcame you.

“You were gonna hurt me,” You said aloud, almost as if it was a realisation, rather than just fact. Your eyes hardened, gaze going red as you snatched the knife from her weakened grip. She reached out to try and snatch it back, but only got the drops of your blood that fell from the blade as you held onto it, twisting it until you finally held the handle. “Why— why were you going to hurt me?”

Her response didn’t filter through your ears, and the rage at how easily she and Lewis were going to do it pulsed, making your vision go blurry. When she sat up, tumbling forward to take you down again, you swiped her own knife until you felt the drag of something resisting it, and then you pulled harder, feeling something warm gushing down your hand.

Cheryl’s breath stuttered slightly, her hands rising to her chest as she groaned in pain. You looked down to your hands, where they were coated in a red that was darker than the carpet below them, and you were so lost that you didn’t notice her hand coming below yours, hitting it so hard that the knife went flying to the other end of the carpet.

Like a reflex, your fists came down on her face, feeling the shift of bones beneath your knuckles as they shattered upon contact. You didn’t stop, too wrapped up in the fact that you didn’t want to die, that she was going to hurt you, to kill you when she was done, she was going to tear you apart and throw away the pieces, she was going to take away what little humanity had left, she—

Arms pulled you away from the body beneath you, arms much stronger than your own, and you screamed, yelled out with your broken voice, “I’ll kill you, I’ll fucking kill you, get off of me! I’ll kill you!”

The person shushed you, only holding tighter as you thrashed, turning away from Cheryl where she… wasn’t breathing. You stopped, tense muscles in your body going slack and burning as you stared at her, at her body, lifeless and covered in blood.

“Kid, it’s okay, it’s okay, I’ve got you.” said the person holding you— said Joel. Your hands dropped from where you had scratched his forearm, his arm covered in blood — though whether it was his, or Cheryl’s, or yours, you didn’t know.

He loosened his grip on you, eyebrows creased in concern as your entire body slipped when he moved his arms away, as if you couldn’t even hold yourself up.

“No… she— it wasn’t, I didn’t—” you trailed off, unsure of what to say, the words dead on your tongue, because you didn’t what? Didn't mean to kill her?

Joel followed your blank eyes to the body he’d pulled you from, and he turned your head towards him quickly, eyes hard. “No.” He said, and at your somewhat confused expression, he continued, “You didn’t do anything wrong.”

“Joel, I—”

“No,” he repeated, and pulled your head towards him, keeping you looking away from Cheryl as a gunshot rang through the room, echoing in your ears so loudly you couldn’t hear Joel at first, as he held up the smoking gun for you to see, “—killed her, see? I killed her.”

“They were going… they wanted to—” You choked on the words, feeling that bile come creeping back up your throat, and you lurched away from Joel as it came out, feeling him pull your hair back from your face.

Something in his eyes settled, however, at the choice of word you’d used — they. So this body wasn’t the only one in here? His question was answered by a bang at a door on the other side, the way your entire body flinched at the sound.

The door splintered, and a battered man came tumbling out, hurrying over to where he could see people crowded. His face went red, and he began to shout, “You fucking bitch—!”

Joel shot one between the eyes, and the man crumpled before he could get anything else out. He turned back to you, to where you were hunched in on yourself. He shoved his gun back in its rightful place, and held your cheeks between his hands, gunpowder residue transferring to your skin.

“Do you hear me?” His muted voice said, and you looked up to his face with a confused shake of your head, “It was you or them, and the only answer is you.”

“But, Joel,” you were interrupted, and he wiped the underneath of your eye of a tear that you hadn’t even known had fallen.

“No. You listen to me, remember?” Joel affirmed, and you nodded, the tears falling more now that you’d acknowledged them, your hands shaking as you tried to look past Joel, but he just pulled your face back to him. “I’ve got you, kid. Keep your eyes on me.”

You turned your face into his neck as you all but threw yourself into his arms, and they wrapped around you like they’d been waiting to do so. You missed his pained expression at the words, and the way heartache burrowed in his chest as he stood the two of you up, his knees clicking.

He swept you up, as if you were the smallest and lightest thing he’d carried in years, and he carried you away, your eyes staying glued to him as the two of you left behind the carnage he’d caused in looking for you.

[theninth09]

theo and liam both constantly trying to prove themselves and expecting punishment.

theos inferiority complex. "because im not a real werewolf?" obviously asked with disdain and insecurity. his voice trembling when he says "i-im not a failure" when the dread doctors classify him as such. his goal of becoming an alpha not because he actually wants power, but because he wants to be stop feeling helpless. he wants to be in control, he wants to stop having to fear that he'll get killed in case he IS a failure. and in s6 he keeps trying to prove himself, to the pack liam this time. liam keeps lashing out (bc hes in denial and telling himself he shouldnt trust or like theo) and theo barely ever reacts, just keeps softly looking at him and never rises to the bait. he wants to be useful, he wants to belong. he wants to be close to liam.

ive already briefly talked about theos relationship with pain in a different post, but just to reiterate: his non-stop provoking words so that people (malia, stiles, liam) punch him, laughing when his bones break, saying "maybe it only responds to pain" about the captured ghostrider and when he said "physical pain becomes manageable." yeah. he definitely got tortured by the dread doctors as punishment. and he probably thinks he deserved it.

liams fear of getting punished/thinking he deserves to be punished. the way he asks "are you mad at me?" with the smallest voice and the saddest look on his face. as if hes used to getting harsh reactions (liams bio dad that we dont know anything about?? yeah.) and in this instance, it wasnt even his fault. his IED wasnt the reason he got into a fight with someone, he didnt even hurt anyone accidentally. liam is the one who got hurt and still, he asks his dad if hes mad, expecting punishment. when hes down in the well and hurts himself punching the wall, he thinks back to his dad telling him that when kids get angry, they either hurt others or themselves. how many times has liam hurt himself during or after an outburst? punishing himself for being the way that he is, for hurting others when he doesnt want to.

liam taking the beating from gabe & nolan is another example of this. thinking hes at fault, that he deserved to get beaten as punishment for bretts and loris death.

in s5b when scott tells him that he hasnt actually apologized yet and liam explains that he feels like he has to do more. that he has to save his life in order to repay him for the damage. and thats probably how most of liams life has been. constantly doing favors, offering help and working himself to the bone trying to atone for what he thinks hes done wrong. the idea of verbally apologizing bringing him shame and guilt, so he just tries to make it better with his actions. even though its not his fault, even though he doesnt have control over it. he just wants to be good. he wants to belong.

[despairots]

#A NIGHT TO REMEMBER, o. dazai!

a special oneshot!

description, it’s special to know how the other feels. to communicate is the best, though, dazai isn’t one for words but it’s fine, you’re the same. neither of you can put the feelings you have into words.

— story contains, angst, established relationship, swearing, suicide mentions, depressing talks, “no longer human” connections i think?, r! psychoanalysis’s i guess?, mental health, trauma talking, character deaths, if i missed anything let me know! gender neutral! reader.

“why are you writing this?” bc dazai is one of the characters i heavily relate to on another level. hes so much different from mizuki akiyama and satoru gojo. and this is just me talking a lot about dazai’s character and analyzing him… btw, r! wears a black blazer (or leather jacket) white button up with a black waist coat, either brown shorts or pants (maybe black of u want), underneath the shorts or pants are like black tights and slip on penny loafers.

long before you started dating dazai, there was an obvious connection that you only saw and felt. obviously, you were friends during those time periods because you worked in the same place, everyone there were friends.

though, the friendship you two had were entirely different from the rest, had the same humour but showing it differently. you wouldn’t lie and say that dazai flirting with you just to ask for a double suicide didn’t concern you, because it did. there’s no doubt that he’ll try and eventually succeed (although, death doesn’t accept him).

there’s nothing that can kill this man, no matter how hard he tries. you picked that up during one of his failed attempts, it almost succeeded if kunikida wasn’t there, you thanked him a ton. all he said in response is that; “i have to look over that idiot one way or another.” no matter how much dazai annoys his coworkers, they still care.

when dazai tries to commit and somewhat fails, it’s almost like he’s punishing himself for still being alive. you know his past, after all, you were in port mafia with him, even though you two didn’t work together or how he didn’t know you during that time, you sure knew him.

he was surrounded by death, in the port mafia and the ada, it follows him yet never accepts it’s his time to come to the afterlife. he makes these plans that somewhat end up succeeding though he hurts himself in the process, always worrying you. what if eventually death actually accepts him at some point?

dazai has been extraordinarily smart every since he was a kid to the point where he’s been dehumanized by dubbing him; “the demon prodigy”. you didn’t know anything about his parents, you did know what drove him to be tired of living. he’s tired living, bored by life and the people around him, to him, they are easily predictable and manipulated that nothing can surprise him.

he can’t find sense to the world but most importantly, he doesn’t find sense in life, he ends up reverting to extensional depression, continuing the cycle he lives in.

dazai has been exploited ever since he was 14 and taken into the port mafia by mori. he was kept alive by mori, by chuuya, by everyone. he was used until there was nothing left. he never had any love nor hope (that he’d ever have someone to understand him) until a friend he later brought up to you, oda.

he truly believed he deserved everything that happened to him in the port mafia.

you believe that younger dazai never believed that he could be better, but if he’s changing now than he always had the ability to change, just never tried. he was sure the mafia was the only fate he had and the only place to escape of living.

then oda died. dazai was free, with ango’s help of wiping his criminal records. without ango’s help, he would’ve never been free from mafia, though he knows his past will always haunt him, he’s accepted that. he also knows that his indebted to ango, he knows he owes him.

since oda’s death, dazai’s trust had ran thin and he’s always on guard, his ability to open up to anyone had been cut off because he can not lose anyone again. the things he cares about and didn’t wanna lose, is lost the moment he gains it.

his plans always evolve other people, rather to manipulate or exploit. you don’t blame him, if it meant surviving, you would do it too.

he is someone who jokes but never opens up nor can be his true self. he’s a wreck who will drag anyone else down with him, that was a price you had to pay for dating him. he repulsed the idea of love and being in a relationship with you because of how he’ll be afraid of losing you.

dazai dated you as a joke, to see how thing will end, until he realized that you were somewhat different. you were always one step of ahead, had almost the same ability that involved contact, and you had this missing glint in your eyes. that’s just the surface though.

dazai knows there’s more to you— he doesn’t know about your connections to the port mafia though— but he doesn’t bother bringing the topic up to you though nor does he like talking about it.

at nights like this, where he’s staring aimlessly somewhere and devoid of emotion, he’s completely vulnerable in your shared dorm. sitting on the couch, cheek on the palm of his hand as the other searches the cold touch of your hand, seeking for some company.

—and you’re there. sitting on the couch with him and a book discarded in your lap, only staring at dazai with a look of curiosity and content, he looks peaceful despite the war going on in his head.

(you were memorized by the destruction he creates and has, it was peaceful to know what beautiful destruction that dazai carries with him).

when dazai feels the cold skin of your hand, he could feel his ability cancelling yours out as your hand covers his, holding it tightly yet so soft that he wonders if you’re even there. dazai finally looks at you, face still devoid of emotion, watching you reopen your book.

“morning, sleeping beauty.” you hummed softly, an amused tone with your words. dazai groaned and knocked your book off your lap, kicking his legs up into your lap and laying down, now staring up at the ceiling.

hearing dazai go silent wasn’t rare, it was rather common when you two are in your shared dorm, but not hearing him say something stupid back confused you.

you turned your head to dazai, taking notice of his eyes that threatened to pour tears in front of you, “you okay, ‘samu?” knowing him for a while now, he wouldn’t open up and talk about his feelings. it’s fine though, you’re like that too, and you wouldn’t mind waiting forever even if it didn’t come.

dazai didn’t respond.

he never did.

he closed his eyes and if you listened closer, you could hear the shaky breath that he exhaled. taking his hand in yours, you placed a chaste kiss to his palm, the contact making dazai open his eyes slowly and sit up on his elbows.

“when are you gonna leave?” he’s says stupid shit all the time, it doesn’t effect you, none of his words effect you. it should’ve effected you but it didn’t, and dazai could tell by the unamused look on your face, “when are you gonna take your life seriously?” you lightly jabbed at him, hearing him scoff and mutter ‘hypocrite’ underneath his breath.

dazai sat up properly, scooting closer to you and grabbing your hand, setting his head on your shoulder. dazai’s touch starved but refuses any contact that doesn’t involve him initiating it, you’re an expectation, you’ve always been every since the relationship started.

silence took over you, the fan in the background aswell as dazai’s calming breath stirring you into a tired state, laying your head on dazai’s head (knowing the neck pain wouldn’t be worth it tomorrow).

“y’know i’d wait, right?” dazai hums underneath his breath as a response, “how do i know you’re not lying?” and you scoff. rolling your tired eyes, for a guy like him to ask you that question is amusing. “we’ve been lying to eachother for a while but i’m not lying about this, ‘samu.”

the former executive makes himself more comfortable in the crook of your neck, forcing you to lay down and keep him close, “i know.” the words came out muffled, and alas, his eyes are shut again and his sleeping in your arms that are now warm.

with him being asleep, you could pick out the smallest details about the boy in your arms. in your arms, he isn’t the former demon prodigy, in your arms, he isn’t a former port mafia member, in your arms, he isn’t a dehumanized person.

he’s just a boy.

osamu dazai isn’t one for words, but it’s okay, because you’re not one for words either. it’s gonna be like that for awhile, or forever, only time could tell. dazai knows this; you know this. and since dazai’s betrayal to the port mafia, he’s changing, but if he’s changing now, he was always capable of changing, he just never cared enough to try.

osamu dazai isn’t one for words, neither are you.

tick.

[lemonhemlock]

It’s very amusing that Condal clearly wants to adapt AFFC, and how people eat it up despite it not being earned. AFFC was the fourth book of the series, after the beheading of Ned, Winterfell falling, Jaime losing his hand, the Red Wedding, the Purple Wedding. All the reasons for why the War of the Five Kings is over, all those people are either dead or scattered to the wind, and yet the war rages on. It’s a pointless war that characters we have grown to know and love undergo intense changes in, notably Jaime and Brienne as they wander through the Riverlands, Arya in Braavos, Sam on the edge of despair as he journeys south. Frankly? Considering that the Dance hasn’t even properly started yet and no one cares about the deaths that have occurs (Luke, Jaehaerys, Rhaenys) the sheer fatalism feels unearned bc no one has gone through gut wrenching tragedy yet. “War is pointless.” Great, but we got another two seasons of this and if the characters think this story is dumb and pointless and are just going through the motions, why should we watch? It’s frankly just too early for everyone to lose their shit bc they haven’t even begin to truly lose everything yet. The characters themselves thinking it’s pointless robs them of motivations bc we still got more than half the story to go! Criston’s monologue in the finale is good but that’s because it’s directly cribbed from Jaime’s “honor is mist” speech but it’s not nearly as earned bc we don’t have any idea how or why he started sleeping with Alicent or even why he became a kingsguard in the first place! Daemon’s Harrenhal arc ended with him somehow obsessed with a prophecy and connecting it back to Rhaenyra without him coming to terms with Viserys not trusting him with the prophecy which is what he was mad about in the first place!

We never actually see anyone react to anything, and the limping plodding along of character development happening off screen so we never see how or why anyone changes is not good! Episode 7 actually gave me some hope bc Rhaenyra seemed to be embracing her role as a leader of there’s dragonriders the gods have given her, but in the next episode she’s literally saying the exact same lines “what would you have me do” and “who will pay the price” which she said at the start of the season! Even Alicent’s about face is unearned bc we don’t actually see her truly fight with her children about anything, really. She just lets them talk in her face and then limps away to camp in a scene that’s “all about rebirth bc baptism and water” without ever getting to the core of anything. It’s a beautiful show full of empty symbolism without a narrative actually underpinning it, borrowing from a better story without understanding what makes that story so good.

You said it more eloquently than I could at the moment. It's not just one or two badly executed points, nothing gets built up, nothing gets resolved or even discussed, we just skip past A TON of vital characterisational changes and are expected to "fill in the gaps". No, they're just bad at writing. You wouldn't be reading a book or watching a show that is so bad at these elements - people are watching because it's ASOIAF.

Why is Alicent so mad? Aegon has barely done anything as king, he's actually tried to help the smallfolk in his audiences! Aemond dismissed her from the Council, sure, which I found a dumb political plot hole, but she hasn't done much to address it? And what exactly has Criston Cole done all season that he is the most reprehensible male character on the show? He didn't vote for Alicent and called her by her name. Does he deserve to die for that? Has Alicent ever been portrayed as the type of character who would react so disproportionately? That's Aemond-level writing. Is Alicent = Aemond now? (She isn't even shown being mad at Criston for sending Arryk after Rhaenyra!)

What Alicent is shown to have a problem with is Aemond burning Aegon. But then again why abandon Aegon to be executed by Rhaenyra? Just overdose him on milk of the poppy and let him die, ffs. Alicent also suspects Criston is not telling her about Aemond's crime, but they part on okay terms? She gives him her favour? How do you go from that to dooming him by revealing his coordinates?

I would really like to pile on-to the AFFC copycat accusations* with Succession rip-offs (my followers are probably tired of hearing me mention it, but it's truly what prestige television should be and it's what we should be comparing HotD to!). First it was teenage!Aegon wanking in the window à la Roman Roy, then Alicent suddenly gets water symbolism this season like Kendall and "I do not wish to hear it"? Do they think they're being cute here?

*not just with Criston, but with Rhaena, too, although you could at least argue there that GRRM himself is also mirroring Jaime and Sansa there

[hannigramislife]

for my own gratification bc i just ran into nie mingjue hate in the wild, would you mind making a post that defends my poor good boy? he worked so hard and got gaslit to shit before getting murdered terribly ;; literally everyone sat there telling him "youre being too harsh" and he's just responding appropriately. like yeah, if you witness a murder, ya kinda got to do something about that as a clan leader. its kinda your responsibility, even when you care about the person who did the murdering. he was also a really young when he took on the role of clan leader and idk, it just made me rlly sad to see people dunk on him cuz wtf he's literally just trying his best in an impossible situation WHILE being perpetually fucked over by his clan's own traditional cultivation cuz now the stronger he is as a leader, the closer he is to going literally insane and dying bc of it. (mingjue did nothing wrong i will die on this hill) ((sorry for going on a tirade, im just sad and defensive of my good boy rn))

Oh no! I'm so sorry you had to go through Nie Mingjue hate! Truly tragic. I went through that once when in the beginning of me reading the books, when I still had no proper opinions, and never again.

I'm more than willing to make a post about Nie Mingjue! I'm always down to talk about Nie Mingjue tbh, he's my heart and love and if I were to have been given the opportunity to be his right hand person, I would have simply never betrayed his trust and married him. Rip Jin Guangyao but I'm different.

Anyways, I, huhhh, actually think you?? Covered it all??? Pretty much?? Yet I will talk about it. This will be long and non-coherent, because I don't have the books rn to find quotes in them and honestly, I could write essays on Nie Mingjue either way.

Nie Mingjue is a central piece of the narrative, despite the limited amount of appearances he made, and the fact that he wasn't close to the main characters at all. The entire second part of the plot revolves around him- it happened because of him. His murder is a tragedy; literally, by greek standards, man has Cassandra Curse all over him, so I don't get how people can tell me, confidently, that his death was warranted. I've been told the man had asked for it, and this has mostly been by Jin Guangyao apologists.

So let me make something real fucking clear.

Nie Mingjue did not deserve to die. Let's get that out of the way, anyone can fight me on that. Nie Mingjue had more good qualities than half the people in this fucking story, despite his flaws. After his father was brutally murdered when Mingjue was only in his teens, Nie Mingjue stepped up as clan leader. We can only speculate the hardships that await someone leading a clan at such an early age. Yet, political challenges weren't the only thing he had to battle; Nie Mingjue knew about his clan's harmful cultivation, and he knew he was going to die young. So what did he do? His best. Literally his best, always. He was always giving 100% of his abilities, because that's who he was.

Let's talk about who Nie Mingjue was, shall we?

When Jin Guangyao, still Meng Yao then, describes Nie Mingjue, he finds himself perplexed, because Nie Mingjue isn't like other men. He is not frivolous, and he has no vices; Meng Yao describes how Nie Mingjue never showed an interest in arts, or alcohol, or women. All he did was train, and fight the Wens during the war. It shows that he had a one-track mind from the start, and has got a strict discipline; yet this strictly disciplined man, leader of a clan that prizes strength, continuously indulges his lazy and undisciplined half-brother, his one and only heir, despite not understanding his interests. We gather, pretty quickly, that Nie Mingjue is a bleeding heart for his brother, and for the ones he loves in general. We see the same softer side displayed in the presence of Lan Xichen, and of course, for some time, Meng Yao.

People seem to think Nie Mingjue took Meng Yao's betrayal too harshly. As if somehow seeing a man he thought to have been just and honest commit premeditated murder, then cover it up, was something he was just supposed to get over. To this day, I can't believe how Lan Xichen was so understanding of it. But not only did Nie Mingjue catch him in a cowardly act - Meng Yao proceeds to manipulate him, using the fact that Nie Mingjue cared about him, to stab him in the back. Or front, however it happened. I get that Meng Yao was in a difficult position, that he suffered at the Jins, that he felt backed in a corner; but Nie Mingjue was a man that had extended his help to Meng Yao before, and even then, he went to find Meng Yao in righteous fury, ready to help him again. To Nie Mingjue, the idea that Meng Yao "had no other choice" but to kill - to kill in the manner he did - it could have been nothing but a betrayal.

One thing that I personally highly respected Nie Mingjue for was the fact that he did not judge Meng Yao for his background. This is not up for debate; Nie Mingjue stood up for him, quite publicly, quite vocally, when Meng Yao was being insulted over it. And not only that, but he promoted Meng Yao to be his right hand man, just like that. Because he's impulsive, and to prove a point, but it was still huge of him to do. Not even Lan Xichen would have done that - In a society built on power dynamics between social classes, Nie Mingjue was one of the few characters who did not let that define his actions. It wasn't because he was born privileged (though he was) but because he he didn't let anything other than his judgment direct his actions. Nie Mingjue also never shied away from anything; if it had to be done, he did it, no matter the cost.

Nie Mingjue was decisive, and had an iron will. When Meng Yao killed the Nie disciples in Qishan, he wanted to kill Meng Yao. Meng Yao told him, paraphrasing, that "don't you understand that if I hadn't done that, it would have been your corpse up there?" and Wei Wuxian takes it to mean "Translation: I saved you so you can't kill me, because that would mean you're in the wrong." So Nie Mingjue hesitated for a second, then said: "Fine! I'll kill you, and then take my own life!" And the only reason he didn't, was because Lan Xichen was there. Otherwise, Nie Mingjue would have killed his former friend, then followed him to whatever afterlife awaited.

Nie Mingjue is often portrayed like he doesn't understand stuff, like he's stupid, simply because of his black and white sense of morality. That's not correct: Nie Mingjue understands motive, but he doesn't accept the ends justifying the means. Scratch that, he doesn't accept or justify either, if they're unjust. The murder of the Jin commander, the murder of the Nie disciples, not executing Xue Yang - how can Nie Mingjue possibly understand Meng Yao's decisions, when Nie Mingjue would rather die, any day, than live thanks to vile actions?

And then, Nie Mingjue starts falling into qi-deviation. We know that it affected his temper the most, and his judgement. I don't understand how it works, really, so I don't know by the end how much was Nie Mingjue and how much was the mess that the spirit made of him - maybe a combination of the two. But what is certain, is that the rapid qi deviation changed him.

But I could write a hundred more pages on him, meticulously going over every single scene he has ever appeared in, because I find him that interesting. I find him the most interesting, and the most appealing character, because in a story where the navigation of the cultivation world's complex politics and hierarchies with tact and diplomacy is crucial, Nie Mingjue stands uncompromising in his principles, choosing duty and honor over anything else, even when it's hard.

[scekrex]

＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚ ˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚ ˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚ ˚*•̩̩͙✩

＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚ ˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚ ˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚ ˚*•̩̩͙

Request 💕💕💕💕💕💕💕

Pearl from Steven Universe like male reader x Adam, when Adam first joined the exorcis Adam had y/n on his side loyal to Adam did anything and everything for Adam just like pearl and so ever since y/n stuck with Adam until he died womp womp but y/n trust to help Adam fight with Lucifer but Adam won't lesson ( you can pick one or both I can't decide 🙃 ) so he cut of his wings to stay with Adam, Charlie asked y/n if he can stay in the hazbin hotel with no place to go he accepts the request then after a few days y/n finds Adam or he goes back to heaven and griefs and has to be the next leader of the exorcist. 🙂👍

"WHY WON'T YOU LET ME DO THIS FOR YOU ADAM!?"

"I need someone to tell me what to do."

"He made me feel like I was everything."

"Everything I ever did, I did for him but now he's gone and I am still here."

"YOU CAN UNDERSTAND HOW I FEEL! NONE OF YOU HAD WHAT WE HAD!"

If you can thank you pookie 💕💕💕

So I went with the 'reader tears of his own wings and stays in hell' situation. If you want me to write reader as the next exorcist leader and the struggles that come w that position, lemme know!

With broken wings we're fallin'

pairing: Adam x male!reader

warnings: language, self harm, low-key canon typical violence

note: not beta read bc fuck you I don't have beta readers

Your soul felt empty, just a big void that consumed you from the inside, that swallowed all your feelings and emotions until all that was left was cold, lonely emptiness.

Adam has died.

The person that you had sworn to protect, that you had loved - fuck that, you still love him - more than anyone. He was dead, stabbed brutally by that little demon bitch. There had been blood everywhere, for Christ's sake, his blood had been on your hands too as you had held him. Everything had been coated in golden liquid, it had made you feel dizzy.

You remembered it so clearly, the day you two had first met. He had just been announced leader of the exorcists and Sera had assigned you and Lute to assist him. You quickly bonded with Adam, he was a pretty chill guy once you got to know him and despite him claiming otherwise, he had a soft side for those he cared about. That mainly included you and Lute.

And then the flirting had started, the ‘babes’, the touching, the ‘shit you look hot today’. It had been wonderful, to love and be loved. Now that was gone, brutally torn from your hands by the sinners you had sworn to kill.

After Adam's death, you had stayed in hell, not because they weren't letting you go back to heaven, but because you chose to. You had failed Adam, you had failed yourself. You didn't deserve heaven. You deserved damnation for the rest of your existence.

The exorcists had already left heaven as you kneeled next to Adam's corpse and prayed, prayed to the all nightly lord above that Adam would find peace. Your wings were spread, shielded you and your dead boyfriend from whatever was going on behind you. The devil's daughter, her father and her friends stood there in silence, their eyes on you, confused by your reaction. They didn't know Adam had someone special, someone who actually cared about him. Lucifer wanted to interrupt the scene but Charlie held him back, “Dad. Let him have this moment. His boyfriend passed.” So the devil relaxed, not pleased with the order his daughter had placed, but he accepted it. At least for now.

You looked down at the first man's face, it was as white as a ghost, his eyes stared up at you lifelessly and it killed you inside. Your hands reached for your wings, nails dug into them and you started to pull. It hurt but the physical pain was bearable, it was survivable compared to the emotional pain you went through. “What is he doing?” Charlie asked and Lucifer just watched in silence. He knew, Vaggie knew too. And then the sound of tearing echoed through the air and a shocked gasp followed the painful scream that escaped your lips.

The wings fell out of your hand and onto the ground, blood tickled down your back but you couldn't bring yourself to care, not when the physical pain numbed your emotions so well. The blood felt warm against your skin and for a moment it reminded you of Adam's warmth, of the warmth you felt whenever he had wrapped his arms around you, the warmth that had filled you with every kiss he had gifted to you.

But numbness was temporary and your emotions caught up quicker than you liked them to. So the next thing that provided warmth were the tears that started to stream down your reddened cheeks. You were alone again. All alone in hell, the only person you ever cared about was gone.

-

The weeks had passed and nothing had changed. Well, that wasn't true. A lot had changed, actually, life in hell was different from life in heaven, but you've known that before you had lived here. Charlie had offered you a room at the hotel. You weren't truly a sinner, your fate wasn't forced onto you, yet she saw the good. And you had accepted because where the fuck were you supposed to go anyways? The only thing left was the ring Adam had given to you a couple thousands years ago. That was it. His body had disappeared, Lucifer had said something along the lines of 'Ashes to ashes, dust to dust.' Whatever that had to do with Adam.

You sat on the floor of the lobby as the others were chatting. It was some kind of board game evening but you weren't feeling like it, just sat there and stared against the blank wall. “I need someone to tell me what to do,” you whispered and Charlie immediately shifted her attention from the game to you. With questioning eyes and a soft voice she asked, “What do you mean?” Without looking at her you sighed as you pulled your knees against your chest and slowly rocked back and forth. It gave you some sort of comfort. “Everything I ever did, I did for him but now he's gone,” your nails dug into your shins, leaving angry red marks as tears welled up in your eyes, “And I'm still here.”

Angel rolled his eyes at that, “He just wants fucking attention, why's he here anyway? It's not like he's forced to be here, he chose that shit.” You only heard him say these words and angry replied, “You can't fucking understand how I feel. None of you fuck-ups had what Adam and I had.” Husk huffed at that, “Yeah and we're fucking greatful for that.”

But Charlie shook her head, clearly disagreeing with the porn demon, “This hotel is not only about redemption Angel, it's about changing in general. Y/N is lost in the dark, we can guide him back to the light.” You huffed but didn't comment on it, why was she so fucking damn right?

The princess of hell got up to sit down next to you, pausing the game officially. “Do you wanna talk about it? About him?” you wouldn't have imagined that Charlie would ever offer you such a thing, she hated Adam, fuck, she probably hated you too. Yet she tried her best to comfort you. “He made me feel like I was everything,” you started and the others turned towards you at that.

Adam? Making someone else feel special? Not in their universe.

“He always acted all rough and badass in public but when we were alone he was… soft. He cared, more than he would've admitted but he cared. And he loved, he always made sure I feel loved because-” you were interrupted by the front door swinging open. And there he stood. “Sup bitches, what did-” he stopped as soon as his eyes landed on you. The golden eyes widened in shock. “What the fuck are you doing here?” the both of you spoke at the same time. You got up from the floor quickly, pushing Charlie out of the way in order to get to Adam.

“How?” you whispered once you had reached him, your hands roamed over his face. The feeling of his familiar features on your skin was unbelievable, it made a new will to live spark up in you. “No fucking idea, but why are you still here?” he hummed, his eyes were looking straight into yours, oh how he had missed your pretty eyes. They were just as golden as his own, yet so different, so unique. “I-” you wanted to explain as Adam interrupted you yet again, “And where the fuck are your wings?” His hands traced over the wounds, the wounds were still healing, touching them made you flinch away. The first man's eyes darkened as he looked at the other hotel residents, “Who did that?” You were quick to force his attention back onto you, “I did that, they have nothing to do with that.”

“But why? Your wings were so perfect so-” he stopped himself this time. You continued for him, “They had been holy Adam. I'm not holy, not after failing you.” His big hands softly cupped your cheeks as a tiny smile appeared on his lips, how you had missed this smile, so subtle yet it meant everything. “You fucking idiot.” You knew it meant ‘You didn't fail me’ and ‘Stop that fucking bullshit right now’. But you couldn't help but feel like you did. He had died, he had been reborn a sinner.

All because of you, all because you hadn't been quick enough to stop Niffty.

[joejhang]

i read die free or die a failure.

spoilers ahead !!! these are my thoughts and i'm a yapper.

THINGS I LIKED (in no particular order)

andrew. (i feel like i really enjoyed his characterisation even tho it wasn't accurate. like it still felt sort of like him just like he was more vocal??? more expressive??? idk like his real personality was all there. i feel like he didn't really do anything that canon andrew wouldn't do, he just did it more openly. i love the way he handled neil and i love his smartass comments he genuinely made me laugh. and yeah protective andrew is near and dear to my heart)

kevin-neil dynamic (i would include jean in this but i hate to say it i feel like jean didn't quite fit in the narrative. like he was just there. but he didn't have a LOT of personality. it's fine tho we have tsc and that's enough for me. anyway. i loved kevin and neil's sibling dynamic it was SO funny i think they deserve to have more silly brotherhood moments in canon. i also liked how the author rlly deepened their relationship and there were a lot of layers to their bond)

SETH (i'll say it till the day i die seth deserved better. i feel like dfodaf perfectly illustrates how seth could've been if he had been allowed more time and a redemption arc. maybe it was a little rushed but i LOVED the way he became like a protective older brother to neil and actually learned about his mistakes and was willing to own up to them. GOD he had so much potential)

martyr!neil (IDK I KNOW IT'S TOXIC IT WAS JUST REALLY REALLY WELL DONE. it's not completely in line w canon neil's personality tbh but i feel like the author just got one of neil's key personality traits (a penchant for self-sacrifice and getting into near death situations) and just exaggerated for narrative purposes. which i can respect. and i just genuinely think neil is the bestest boy and this is probably very similar to what he could've been like if he had grown up in the nest)

andreil build up (i say build up bc that's the part i loved most abt their relationship in this fic. like it just felt very right for them to be together romantically after everything they went thru in this fic together. and i feel like andreil is a difficult ship to rewrite and make good bc of how well nora developed the intimacy and trust between them but this fic did it right. like the amount of trust they had in each other rlly warmed my heart!!! and i'm honestly a bit of a traditionalist and i like to stick to the canon but i think within the context of this fic their relationship was developed perfectly and paced perfectly. it just felt like the final piece in the puzzle slipped into place when they actually officially got together. like it just made sense. bc they already had that pre-existing foundation of trust and consent and they already knew each other really well. and their banter!!! it was so well written and funny. they had GREAT chemistry. they cooked w this one)

THINGS I KINDA DIDN'T LIKE (no hate!!! i'm just a natural hater and these r just some criticisms)

neil. (SORRYYYY i just can't stand when they mischaracterise my boy!!!! i feel like it kind of is a personal preference but reading this fic didn't really feel like i was reading neil. i think in the first half it was fine and i wasn't bothered by it too much but by the second half it kind of took me out of the narrative. like the neil i know and love isn't this vocal or this open about like...anything. like i just felt like neil in this fic was just very like out there and a lot louder and more...talkative??? than neil in canon. and i think it bothered me a lot bc one of the things i love most abt neil is his quiet (until he's not) personality. like he's really chill and just isn't as like vocal as he was in this fic. again it's probably just me, but i just feel like the neil characterisation in this fic didn't feel quite right to me)

the dialogue (not all of it but a lot of it i remember being like oh ok. like it felt a little too...like blunt??? like the dialogue felt kind of jarring bc i feel like real ppl wouldn't speak like that. a lot of the conversations felt kind of awkward (this isn't me imposing my own like preferences onto this fic even within the narrative it didn't feel right) and i feel like a lot of what aftg does right in terms of writing is showing not telling the characters' thoughts and feelings whether thru actions or expressions. but in this fic it kind of felt like the characters were all just saying exactly what they were thinking and feeling and experiencing at all times and it kinda took me out of the story)

ok that's it. the things i liked outnumbered the things i disliked but the things i disliked were some pretty big things. STILL. i digress. i think writing such a long and complicated fic abt such a well-loved piece of writing is such a skill and i think the author did great even if there were things i personally didn't love about it. go read it PLEASE so i can discuss this w ppl. CHECK TW!!! there are a lot and this fic is very dark and very heavy and difficult to read at times. anyway. props to the author i had a great time.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/31265498/chapters/77287217

[cosmiccowboystuddies]

the sunshine court notes

first things first riko needed to be brutally beaten to death, a shot was too quick

renee talked like a fortune cookie and it was pissing me off

i wish we got more of Wymack and Jean, it was very nice of him to get on the plane with Jean

jean immediately getting annoyed with basic life is really funny

jean is also really sassy and hilarious

also something weird happened in jeremeys house

my personally theory is that he had a sibling who died and his family thinks its his fault

like maybe an accident or maybe the sibling overheard something that they weren't supposed to and his sibling had to die as a result

whatever happened the butler knows about it and is trying to protect him

and whatever happened had to be bad because the act of dying his hair had his family ban him from the dinner table

neil believing his relationship with andrew as a strength his really good for his character, considering his mom was so keen on him not forming any connections

the fact that jean actually considered reaching out to his sister, only for him to learn that she was dead breaks me every time

and neil using her to force him into a belief that he doesn't deserve to belong to anyone but himself was a necessary cruelty.

i also like that Jeremey was the one who telling him about Rikos death was good

jean has no agency in the entire 1st act of the book, he is taken from the nest and basically held captive, then he is forced to go to the sunshine court, which he doesn't like but has to

the foxes all hide info from jean for his own good

and jeremey being the one to tell him is nice because jeremey is his first taste of freedom

jean talking about his abuse in such a casual manner is horrifying bc he thinks its so normal and its horrifying

" i didn't ask" broke me in so many ways because Jean doesn't particularly trust jeremey at the time, nor did it slip out while he was angry, he just said it so casually like it was normal

At first i felt bad for Lucas, but not so much anymore.

he was a sympathetic character who was trying to straddle a thin line of having faith in his captain and who he belives is a violent stranger and his brother who is not the same boy he know

but bringing Greyson to jean was soo fucking stupid it pisses me off

and the fact that jean wasn't even really fighting back, just trying to protect himself is upsetting

also the imagery of him punching the keypad over and over again just trying to get out is gutting

jean isn't a dog who bites, he's a dog who puts his foot to the fire because he believes that he is supposed to do

the water scene was sad as well because he was trying so hard to behave but physically could not

also Jeremey and really most people on the team meet his violence with unflinching kindness is really sweet

i also appreciate how jeremey doesn't force jean to talk about his trauma or even takes the notes from him, jean has had little to no control in his life since he was 15 and forcing him to talk about it when he wasn't ready would have made it worse

and jean asking jeremey to pretend was sweet and what was even sweeter when he did

jean learning to cook is nice as well because he needs life skills

theory for book 2: jeremey buys jean his freedom and jean becomes an exy coach ( more of a pipe dream i guess)

i also think Greyson will kill lucas

jeremeys saving grace being the thought of his sister deserving better is horrifying

i wish we got more of his relationship with Zane

neil is a real one because Jean compared Greyson to drake once, and Neil took care of it for him

jean being afraid of sleeping alone is so sad because he's basically been trained to sleep next to someone

and the fact that he has nighmares, but they are hardly mentioned, and jeremey is the one to bring it up is so sad

also kevin should have tried harder to reach out to jean

jean pushed away the foxes because he knew they would eventually leave him too

jean being steadfast in the idea that if he plays a good game he will have momentary peace is heartbreaking

jean holding onto his talent despite people thinking he slept his way to the top is also upsetting

i hope we get a zane and jean reunion bc i think they truly cared for each other

maybe kevin sends jean a postcard and a magnet and they can reconnect

also him realizing his very limited possesions have been destroyed made me almost cry

and the magnet scene with jeremey is very sad, but him realizing the magnets are broken make him realize that he is

kevin and jean still both being afraid of riko is telling bc riko is dead

let me know what yall thought... always willing to talk about all for the game.

[horizon-verizon]

Sara Hess and Ryan Condal can try as much as they want to make people sympathetic to TG, they can make Daemon out to be this cold, violent, aggressive man who has never really loved Rhaenyra, they can try to paint Alicent as this poor victim who only wants peace, they can try to make Aegon out to be this poor family man who loved his children, and yet nothing could ever make me like TG.

And, nothing could ever make me hate Daemon or Rhaenyra.

I actually think in this season they are trying to cram as much character development as they can that they should have already established back in season 1.

I think that they are trying to make it that Daemon truly loves Rhaenyra...but they really shot themselves in the foot by how they also make it unknown how/why Rhaenyra has had 6 or so years of living with him and showing how she actually never truly trusted him when he's actually been one of the very few she always trusted. And not just thought of as some "challenge". It felt like Sara Hess really was just writing a bit of her own views about how she'd question Daemon.

...............................................

As for Alicent seeming like a poor victim, I actually think that its the opposite that's being shown. From how she lightly protested against being a "spectacle" when Otto said the Queen and queen dowager would ride behind Jaehaerys when she was the one to encourage Aegon to listen to Otto when she finally seemed to have some influence over him; how she sleeps with Cole again despite knowing they are both at fault for Jaehaerys' death by their inattentiveness; how she puts her grieving daughter through that and doesn't advocate for her at all, instead compelling her to perform for "the throne"/Aegon/the king who barely acknowledges her even as this was one of the only times that Helaena actually had some form of a conversation with her in all the encounters we see them have together thus far, Helaena's own vulnerability Alicent isn't aware she is rejecting; how she thinks that this is the appropriate time of all time to try to address Helaena catching her w/Criston. Alicent here shows how she is really putting others.

...............................................

And bk!Aegon always, I think, loved his kids in some way as a father does his offspring...his son more for his daughter sure. It's that it's very easy for him to put himself first and forget them as Alicent does him with her/his avoidance of sincerity in favor of a performance of power and will. I think there's a lot of self loathing there that prevents him from really trying to bond with anyone and that he only allows himself to care abt those that he can claim makes him "stronger" than otherwise (his history with Otto and Alicent), and that definitely happens to be Jaehaerys/his heir rather than his daughter.

That doesn't make him a good father or even a good person, he's still a fucking rapist of many servants as well as his own wife. And he thinks Rhaenyra's murder wil finally fix all his issues, have him claim righteousness and his "birthright", still thinks Lucerys' death is no matter at all and that he didn't deserve some form of payback. that he is already just. Nor that either his mother or grandfather are suddenly exempt from blame and corruption. I still despise the greens and I don't uwu or babygirl any of them. But again he did love his kids...it's a weird twisted, corrupt sort of parental love bc thats what he knows and has ever tried to really understand of his own volition afterwards.

...............................................

As for cold Daemon, while I do think Daemon would take great offense at Rhaenyra's vocalizing doubt of him and dismiss her claims of disloyalty its the way they had him refer to his grievances with Viserys and Rhaenyra also going back to how he treated Viserys as if Viserys always acted fairly towards Daemon? Because he didn't, and worse so against Rhaenyra in some ways...I don't know, Daemon always seemed a bit of a more of a talker than in show and he definitely wrote in "journals" in F&B. Could be just me.

Yeah we see the dude vulnerable and we often see him do heinous things...where's the "light" and softness other than a few cheek massages here and there that greatly under-number his "dark" moments?! Annoying. There isn't a balance at all or some sort of back and forth dynamism in his character that he's known for. And it seem more plausible to the audience bc we do not get to see how he and Rhaenyra build a home at Dragonstone bc of that stupid time jump. thus it's so much easier to just assume that he's been like this the entire period, which itself simply makes no sense. A lot more people would have to be constantly anxious for that to be true.

All that has been true abt HotD!Daemon, but it really becomes so obvious here, bc Rhaenyra's words about not trusting him simply don't coincide with her having this bond and understanding of him that goes beyond what Hess seems to think is a "challenge". Yes, of course they challenge each other (or are supposed to) and push the other's lines--it's part of what attracts the other to each other--but Hess seems to believe that is the only thing that draws them together and thus doesn't understand why they trust each other and it really shows. She assumes it's just a teen girl's flights of liking the "bad boy" for the sake of trying to "tame" him that she is just now starting to outgrow?!

When Ser Erryk brought you the crown, did not I myself place it upon your brow? yes, but before that you sought to lead a council of war while I labored alone in my bedchamber and afterward, when I thought it meet--- A folly, a folly!--- to consider the terms our foes put before us. ---to give up my brother’s throne to the traitorous lies of Otto Hightower?! My throne, Daemon. Mine. I think you used my words as an excuse to take your own revenge. To indulge the darkness you keep sheathed like a blade. You think me some monster. idk what to think, idk what you are. Or who it is you serve! am i not off to harrenhal even now to raise an army in ur name, Rhaenyra! Yours! Do you accept me as your queen and ruler? [long pause] or do you cling even now to what you think you lost? ‘what i think i lost?’ you did not lose it, you gave it away bc you bc you thought ever and only of your own glory and not of my father and his grief.

Again, when you go to not just episode 7 of the 1st season where Rhaenyra says she needs Daemon ("I need you uncle. We have always be meant to burn together."), implying she trusts him. Episode 2 of the same season where she tells him if he wants to "win" and take back that inheritance--that S2 E2!Rhaenrya says he's still trying to obtain--he'd have to kill her --- does Daemon not choose to not even try to manhandle her? She knew she wouldn't, too! So why is Daemon so static (answer: added misogynoir against Laena and making as if she didn't matter when in book, his having a family with her sort of "mellowed" him out and resettled/solidified his actual priorities--family--and so he can be more volatile against Rhaenyra in a faux attempt to be feminist). Yes he's the rogue prince...."rogue" people are not incapable of actually being non violent to those they care about....that's Daemon's entire thing!!!!

And yes, bk!Rhaenyra seemed to feel that Daemon was a good candidate for fatherdom and commandering her armies/being her partner partly bc of his relationship with Laena and his own twins showing that he was capable of it. That Rhaenyra is doubting thim to this degree after 6 long years where they could have maybe had this argument much earlier over something of else critical importance ANd Rhaenyra chooses this volatile man to be around her kids makes her look very stupid. I'm sorry. I think I said this already, but rhaenin-time already discusses it here:

I honestly think that Hess can't reconcile with a female protagonist who isn't always trying "tame" a man through partnering and "harnessing" their "evil" for the ethical status quo she is familiar with's order, and then have that character be ethically not either evil or "good".

But you know, I'm not bitter or anything...yes they are both kinda right and maybe im thinking too much of book Dameyra, but even the characters are still being inconsistent. I mean, Otto says Aegon is endangering their cred by hanging ratcatchers when he himself hung nobles at court in last season's epi 9?!

[ravenlexis]

HSR 2.2 Rant

spoilers ahead so don't read if you're not done with the mission!

first, since this is the easiest thing to talk about, the boss fight? the three robots (past, present, future) and aventurine's boss fight were harder than sunday's.

second, i feel deprived of ratio content. i need more of his appearance and lore, pls and thank you. a short talk (THAT'S NOT EVEN REAL) and a millisecond cameo isn't enough, i need to know exactly how much this man figured penacony out. (DORMANCY AND DEATH MENTION IN 2.1 WHEN NO ONE ELSE OTHER THAN GALLAGHER KNEW WTF RATIO)

also, speaking of, gallagher and misha are gone and i am in pain™. they're both fragments of other people but they're very much real in my heart. 🥹

BUT AVENTURINE'S ALIVE SO I'M CELEBRATING THAT.

dan heng literally got so anxious bcs he couldn't reach out to his family in the dream that he contemplated calling one of the busiest men we've been introduced to so far, he's so real for that.

ACHERON LEADS A LONELY LIFE WTF SHE DESERVES TO BE REMEMBERED AND CHERISHED AND CARED FOR AND LOVED.

boothill and black swan coming along on the express only for it to be revealed that everything was a lie??? i got excited for nothing. 😞

ngl i am not fond of firefly. she's an interesting character and i especially like her interaction with blade but ever since 2.0 i was suspicious of her and felt like the game just shoved me into liking her (which me, being the avoidant lil bish that i am, do not appreciate). i felt so justified in my suspicion of her when she was revealed to be lying about who she actually is.

robin is so sincere and gentle since she was a kid and i genuinely panicked when sunday implied that he kept her away along with welt somewhere. i hope she'll be okay and that we'll get an update on her in the future stories.

sunday is such a complex character. i don't like him but he was misguided and he experienced a lot of things that seemed to cement his (faulty) logic on what a peaceful paradise is. kinda unclear whether he's alive or not but he's a very interesting character.

tldr: PENACONY WAS A ROLLERCOASTER THAT GAVE ME TRUST ISSUES AND MADE ME SUS OF EVERYONE. THIS ARC IS AMAZING.

i am excited to see what's going to happen next, especially bcs of the cliffhanger with aventurine and boothill but for now imma take a long nap after all that.

[qprsmackdown]

c!Emerald duo propaganda:

Let me tell you. We've got two guys. They live together. They live miles away from everyone else but they live in a little cabin in the snow together. They would die for each other. One HAS died for the other. One is in a monogamous relationship with the personification of death and the other is one of the most widely headcanoned aroace characters and it in no way ever devalues what is considered as one of the most unshakable relationships in the story

"For you the world" — Technoblade to Philza. They are so loyal to each other, legit the healthiest and strongest relationship in the fandom

"For you, the world, Phil." -Technoblade "Sometimes one friend is all you need." -Technoblade “I’m following Techno to the gates of hell... and if he wants to take over the world, god dammit I’m gonna help this man.” - Philza “I followed him to the ends of the earth, through fire and flames.“ - Philza (about Technoblade)

They live together. They kill together. They're raising a polar bear and a very anxious enderman hybrid. They committed so many war crimes and looked good doing it<3 "For you, the world" quote my beloved. Anarchism swag😎

Silly guys of all time! They took over the entire world together once <3 (pre-dsmp but still canon to dsmp) they blew up a country together <3 gotta love 2 guys who commit Literal Actual warcrimes. Also the way they trust eachother just unconditionally is just soo ouuuugggghghhhh i love them. iirc I remember a part where techno was basically just talking about how he'll basically never trust anyone again. TO Phil. Who was very obviously an unspoken exception to the "never trusting anyone" thing. It's been a while so idk if I remember it right but aaaouuuugggg their relationship was so good. Also "for you the world phil" AAAAAUUUUUUU (although the context of that line is much sillier than people usually remember but they are silly guys <3). Ooouugghhh I have so much I could talk about but it's late so I can't think of it right now but they are sooooooo important they are everything to me. This is kinda bad propaganda bc I don't know if I'm even remembering things right and am vaguely incorrect but AUGH. EMERALDDUO

Consider: the fanon immortals being very old friends thing which is a trope i will never not love, and also taking over the world with your qpp is so pogchamp of them

Two anarchist immortals who have been besties for an indeterminable amount of time, but at least for hundreds of years. Took over the Earth once just to show that they can. Back-To-Back Badasses. Each other's consciences and also enablers. Lived together in the middle of nowhere tundra biome, in connected little cottages with their bazillion pets.

THOSE BITCHES WERE LIVING IN THE ARCTIC TOGETHER IN THEIR GAY LITTLE COTTAGE WITH LIKE 100 ANIMALS!!!! They’d both often talk about how they’d kill and die for one another, they’ve been together for centuries despite Techno being all but confirmed Aroace and Philza being married to someone else!! I think they definitely had a QPR going on because like. The person you’re closest to and have lived alongside for god knows how long u gotta at least have SOMETHING going on there imo.

They are both imortal livelong best friends who have been there for each other through war and and other personal hardships They are partners in crime, both arnarchists who took down a nation together and both live in retirement together They only trust each other wholeheartedly (aka they both belive the other wont betray them) and Phil is the only person Techno feels he can be himself around (aka be soft around).

Apparently their qpr had drama in the past bc of this one fic but tbh i dont really get why These two are literally just. The best. There's absolutely no romance between them, but they're the closest of friends, and they care about each other so so much. And they deserve all the things. They live together in a house in the arctic in a commune for anarchists. Basically everyone in the Syndicate are their adopted children. 'For you, the world, Phil' -Technoblade (Just like to say this too, Techno is not Phil's son in the DSMP universe. It's been canonically confirmed.)

They’re two dudes who spend all their time together, built their houses next to each other (and connected it w a bridge), started a commune together, took over the world together, have FRIENDSHIP EMERALDS, and are genuinely such good friends (these are the characters but the irl guys were really good friends until techno died too)

Just a bird and his pig chilling as kings

"for you phil, the world" is treated like this big dramatic line as they take over smpearth but in context its bc they were arguing over something silly and techno laughed and conceded to him and like... just look at then they're ride or die besties emerald duo ftw (on a sadder note i constantly see philza wearing techno's merch on streams and videos and just... man i miss seeing them together)

immortal warriors who have promised to follow each other to the ends of the earth, through fire and flames. they are each others most trusted person without a doubt. when trying to retire from the wars that plagued the server, they both retired in an arctic tundra where they lived together.

These guys cant be seperate from each other anymore than like three days. Like, on top of also doing the antarctic empire together in earthSMP, they just moved to the arctic together to just enjoy life and retirement together. They understand each other like no other bc they've known each other forever. Also bc if we take the titles of bloodgod and angel of death literally you get something something being willing to spend eternity with the other because you care abt them. These two are fine being isolated from everybody else and chilling on their own bc thats all they need

Their relationship is defined by a connection that has lasted for centuries. Despite everything, they always go back to each other. They live together in a cabin in the arctic. They also like murdering together a little too much.

old men committed terrorism and then they settled down :)

For you Phil, the world Immortal best friends spend thousands of years together, conquer the world, found a empire. Phil has a kid with his goddess wife, Techno wind up joining the kids rebellion against the country he founded. When that goes wrong they start a commune called the Syndicate. They are so ride or die. I love them

please they live together theyre best friends theyre immortal together they love each other and phil is married to a god PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE

[squidinkedcreative]

aaaaaaa brain is putting things together about izzy and i just :( damn

also going to say this now that if ur an izzy hater, this post isnt for u! pls dont engage :) thank u

saw art with a quote from a post about izzy, talking about how some people find it touching that he’s buried in the yard of the inn, but this person didn’t. it made them feel sick because he’s buried there like a dog. and just first of all yeah. at first it was touching to me bc of that sentiment that they’re keeping him near them, even in death, but the more i thought on it the more my stomach also churned.

i know djenks had the best intentions with how izzy’s character and arc were treated but jfc ya missed the mark. by a wide margin. like hello???? having the entire point of his arc in season two be discovering himself and growing into himself, hell even standing up for himself and letting himself hold on a little looser to his baggage and just put down the baggage he chose to carry on behalf of the man he loved only for him to die like an episode or two later. and the crew acts like nothing happened just. it doesnt sit right with me and it hasnt since the first time i saw it.

i know its for “plot” reasons, but there was no other way to convey any of this than maiming him like the family dog nobody actually likes??? like a grimy mutt?? without him LITERALLY DYING????????????????? AT THE VERY END OF THE SEASON??????? AND NOT EVEN HAVE THAT BE THE MAIN MESSAGE FOR THE REST OF THE EPISODE??? you had to stomp all over his dead body with a fucking wedding. yes yes good for lucius and pete i really do love them and i am happy for them, but its like they all just. moved on. and forgot about izzy. and trust me i am FULLY aware of how complex grief is, but still. it stings. it feels like its watering down the impact izzy had on everyone on the crew.

he and the kraken’s crew grew so close that they tried to keep him alive even tho they all knew if the kraken found out, they’d all be paying with blood. they MADE HIM. A PROSTHETIC. AND PAINTED IT. they cheered him on when he came out in drag and sang in fucking FRENCH!!!!!!! and then he dies and like 3 minutes later theres a wedding and another party. it feels tasteless. it feels demeaning.

and i 100% think djenks roped izzy and ed into the Bury Your Gays trope without thinking that through. elder queer man who is traumatized dozens of times over who just fucking came to terms with himself AND WHO JUST CONFESSED HIS LOVE TO EDWARD!!!! dies. shortly after that, timeline wise. thats the fucking trope. it’s literally right there.

AND THEN. they fucking bury him in the YARD. LIKE A DOG. in the far corner where they wont see it and be reminded of him every day. out of sight out of mind. they’ll move on and grow old together, blissfully happy, while izzy’s bones are the only thing left of the man who once was Israel Hands, First Mate to the legendary Blackbeard. he never got to have his mutual pining moment, he never got to find the true love of his life and grow old with them. he doesnt get to die fulfilled, with labored breaths, as old age takes him. he gets to sit and watch from the corner as ed and stede, his ex of sorts and the guy he replaced him with, live that happily ever after. he gets to sit in the corner like a bad dog and watch as these two get everything he ever wanted. just like the unwanted family pet.

it makes me ill. he deserved so much better. he deserves better than doggy heaven, he deserves better than being roped into the fucking Bury Your Gays trope too.

[hiemaldesirae]

Swap AU:

Val wasn't too slow, he didn't come at all to Vox's distress call. He thought Vox could handle it. He spends the first 4 years as Alastor's thrall dead, as do most of the soul that Val owns. (Angel included.) Killing Valentino and the souls he owns gets old, however and sinners are getting tired of the same old pornos, so Valentino gets to go back to work, but thanks to their multiple horrible deaths, Valentino and his contracted souls are alot closer. They even have a discord server dedicated to bitching about Alastor. Now that Vox is back, they've added a sever dedicated to getting pictures of Vox for Valentino so they all don't die horrible deaths--and also, Valentino rewards everyone with every new picture with a raise of 50 dollars, so it's nice incentive.

Alastor on the other hand beside killing Valentino and his contracted souls for the first 4 years, made a shrine with Vox's heads--except for the very first one. That one he slept with. That one remain's in his (formerly Vox's) bed everyday, waiting for Alastor's return everynight so he can curl around it and murmur the words he never got to say to his beloved Vox one last time.

When Vox returns, Sir Pentious joins the hotel because Vox has always been his favorite of his favorite of the Vees, and if he's joined another Overlord and started something else, the Sir Pentious will try it out!

Angel Dust is there because he doesn't want to go through the absolute HELL the first 4 years under Alastor was, he wants no repeats. No one Valentino included DOES!

Husker actually loves working with Vox, and loves sending smirks at the very pissed off shadow Alastor (not knowing Alastor is watching from the Shadow's eyes.) and the side hugs, the cuddles, Yeah, they might piss off the Shadow and Alastor even even more but he deserves it--Vox still has nightmares about his near death.

OHH okay okay i see. that clarification. Actually made things 1000x worse for me actually im gonna throw up. this val trusting in voxs abilities to the point where it made him lose one of his best friends for years vs show val jumping to vox the moment that it became clear the other couldnt hold his own..... so sickening what the hell. the guilt that val must feel in specific for voxs disappearance and presumed death- honestly hes probably glad for dying so much those first four years because it took his mind off the fact that it was HIS fault all this happened to vox and him and vel. i just want an oddly tear filled reunion scene with the two vees where vox is like "i thought you guys just didnt think i was important enough to come help" and voxvel start actually bawling bc theyve missed him so much and theyre so glad he's back and *safe*. also the discord server inclusion is hilarious as hell thank you for that mental image nonny

oh my GODD thats actually so sweet im gonna be sick. i just know those former heads are kept clean and swept everyday both by niffty and alastor himself, and the one in his bed is probably propped up by all the most comfortable pillows while alastor himself just goes without a pillow.... WHAT WORDS. what FUCKING words if it was i love you ill actually just implode on the spot nonny ill get raptured and itll be all your fault /lh

+ pentious finally gets an audience with his idol! aww this is so sweet im gonna get cavities. hopefully he doesnt get hit with the kys this time but oh well if he does cause i support my wife committing crimes

Also. Vox having nightmares about the time he nearly died.... do you think that he has like ptsd flashbacks or something everytime he sees a radio. im gonna be SICK fuck oh my god. do tou think ohe day he just . meets al again and immediately tries to run away or something while the other hotel members go to his defense because they know the shit hes been dealing with from al....

p.s. nonny are you planning on turning this into a fic or something anytime soon? because if not.... can i write one based off these ideas 🥹