#because even if it works most of the time darcy is going to end up working on someone his husband thinks deserves better

[waterlogged-detective]

i wanna write lore about my characters but i am in the eternal struggle of how do i start

[olsenmyolsen]

Ever Since Natasha Saw You (18+)

master list

dark master list

Post Black Widow Dark!Natasha Romanoff (Female Reader X Natasha Romanoff)

Summary: She was a hero. But to her, YOU were so much more.

Word Count: 6.1K

Content: Dub-Con, Obsession, Kidnapping, Stalking, Blood, Knife, Knifeplay, Mommy Kink, Feelings, Trauma, Death,

The Black Widow hid a secret.

She was in love with you. Sounds pretty innocent... right?

"Night Y/N!" Your coworker Daisy called out as you were still typing at your computer. It was Friday night, and everyone but you was already leaving. Leaving to be free of the thoughts of work for at least the weekend.

You had a marketing job in downtown Manhattan. Skyscraper. Cubicle. Long nights. That kind of job.

You liked it, honestly.

Sure, New York and the surrounding areas were dangerous. Hell, at times. But you had heroes and vigilantes to save you. You had first-hand experience in 2012 when you and your Dad were saved while out at your "I made it through University without killing myself" lunch.

Now, here you were 4 years later. Still in the city while your Dad left. But that was fine. Being on your own has been exemplary. Sure, you have some friends... coworkers, really. You went on dates! I mean, they didn't lead to much more. But you were going through life.

A cat! You have a cat. An orange tabby who only loves you for food...

Anyways! You were fine and finishing up work on your computer when a pop-up of World News showed up in the top right-hand corner of your screen.

What's New 3 Weeks After The Fall Of A Secret Organization Hiding In The Sky? Russia and the U.S. Remain Quiet.

You heard about the debris and strange things found over on that side of the world earlier this month. With that came the theories.

You rolled your eyes at most. But some were fun. Like aliens was a popular one. People online said it was a crashed group of green-shape-shifting aliens. Your coworker Lindsey swore by another that claimed it was a giant purple guy who crashed on Earth.

Yeah, that'll be the day.

You even had a friend of a friend named Darcy who said an Avenger was present to what happened, leaving you curious.

The Avengers, as far as you were concerned, were in trouble. Rumblings, sightings, and videos of two sides of the superhero group fighting at a German airport left many to speculate that this was the end. Plus, this coming weeks after what happened in Lagos and the murder of King T'Chaka made it all the more plausible.

So, if the rumor was confirmed that an Avenger was at the collapse of what many were confused about, it was... interesting.

But you couldn't dwell on that. You shook your head and closed out of the news to finish up your projected cost for the next wave of Roxxon Marketing.

_

As you walked out of your office building, you were unaware you were being followed.

It wasn't the first time you had been followed. Fuck it wasn't even the fiftieth time it had happened, but still you remained clueless. She thought it was cute at first how unaware of your surroundings you were. It always made her smile.

Because in one second, an innocent and pretty thing like you could be gone.

But she wouldn't let that happen.

Not by anyone else, at least.

You have to understand. She was your protector. Yeah.. Yeah, that's right! The one to make sure you got home safe. The one to take care of threats no matter how minuscule they might be. She also made sure no one got too close or even dared to ask you out.

You couldn't date. That would be unfair and very hurtful to the one who... watched over you...

I mean, you never wondered why suddenly Dennis never showed back up to work after asking you out to lunch, now did you?

Rumor was his family got sick, and he had to skip town. But we know about rumors now, don't we? I.E., purple aliens. Green shapeshifting ones. You get it.

Oh. Also. What happened to Dennis, you may ask?

I'll let you know when his body turns up.

However, all of this is to say that you were lucky Natasha Romanoff picked you.

She was back after being gone, having to deal with some family business. But she was back! For you! Natasha thought you should be grateful. She could be- SHOULD BE on the run right now, but here she was twenty feet behind you.

After tonight, you were going to know precisely who she was.

Natasha smiled as she followed you. She laughed as she saw how cautious you were of people even when you're on your phone like you are right now.

However, as cautious as you may be, it leaves you vulnerable. Sweet. Easy.

Natasha thinks you're too nice for your own good sometimes. Like you always see the best in people. It drives Natasha crazy the amount times she has had to stop because you stopped to help someone. A drunk. A homeless man. A- you get it.

As you and Natasha head down into the subway, she appreciates how your route hasn't changed at all since your first day of work many years ago. Yet she can't help but snicker at how you've never noticed her taking that walk with you. But then again, even with how cautious you are, you don't notice things.

You still haven't noticed the tiny cameras Natasha installed in your place. Or the amount of panties she's stolen. Or even the amount of times you've slept with her arms around your body. In addition to the hushed whispers and stolen kisses, she's left on your lips.

On top of that, you haven't noticed her feelings for you.

Natasha moves closer to you as you both are nearing your stop. With a plan in motion, The Black Widow can't help but smile.

Natasha takes another step forward and grabs onto the metal pole in front of herself to stop her movement when you look up and around the car. You stop when your eyes reach Natasha's green ones in a hoodie and jeans. You smile quickly before putting your head down, focusing back on your phone.

What you did just now was polite. You looked from your phone to stretch your neck and smiled at a cute blonde who just so happened to be looking your way.

That's what you thought.

To Natasha, you signaled her out.

With your eyes, you noticed her. After all this time, you did it! On tonight of all nights. It was a sign. It was meant to be!

Natasha smiled and stared at you, unaware.

When you finally got up to get off at your stop, you felt your arm being yanked back. When you stumbled back and turned your head to find a bald man older than your father looking at you like he won a prize, you pulled as hard as possible. But his grip was tight. "Where are you going, sweetheart?" He looked over your body, making you pull again.

How was no one stopping this man? Was no one seeing it? Did no one care?

The train car beeped, signaling the doors were going to be closing, and the man had yet to remove you from his grip. You were about to scream when the blonde woman from before grabbed your other arm, making you shriek in surprise. The woman acted fast and kicked the man in the knee hard enough to break it before rushing the two of you out of the train car just as the doors closed on three other men hitting their first against the door.

You wanted to wave them bye and flick them off, but your arm hurt. Not the one the man held.. But... but your other one. The one the woman held as she saved you.

"You, alright?" The blonde had a raspy voice as she spoke. It sounded familiar, but as you quickly scanned her face, you declared she must have that kind of face. (as if) But her eyes. Her eyes were one of a kind. Beautiful and a shimmering green you wanted to get lost in.

So lost that you almost forgot about the arm pain and the dizziness you were starting to feel...

"Yeah." You nodded to the blonde who had yet to release your arm. "I'm fine."

This was a lie, and Natasha, of course, knew that. I mean, she was the one wearing the ring that, with one turn of the gemstone, revealed a tiny needle. One that the blonde used to inject your arm with a sleeping agent.

"Are you sure?" The woman smiled as she asked you. Why was she smiling? You went to nod that you were indeed fine but found yourself more tired. Weaker even. "Oh, honey, you don't look so good."

Natasha smiled as she felt your body losing the fight. Natasha quickly looked around before wrapping your arm around her shoulder to make it appear as if you were a drunk friend who needed help getting home.

"Oh, Y/N, it looks like that guy must have really done something, huh?"

The guy in the group of men that she paid off.

Your mind was becoming black as your body went limp, and before you could ask her how she knew your name or who the hell she was, you took one last look at the blonde.

This time, you recognized who she was.

You went to speak but slurred your words as you closed your eyes, passing out in Natasha Romanoff's arms.

_

Getting you home was easy.

As Natasha unlocked your front door, she smiled, pulling you closer as you entered through the threshold between the hallway and your apartment. Natasha smiled wider as she looked around at what would become her place with you before looking at your limp, unconscious body. "We're home!"

Home was with you.

With a kick to the door, it closed behind you two as she hurried you to your room.

Once inside, Natasha was happy to find that not much, if anything, had changed since she last visited. She said hi to your cat, who purred at the sight of the blonde.

Natasha loved your cat and couldn't wait to be a good cat mom.

Natasha took you and gently placed you on the bed before looking around the room. She was looking for something. Natasha closed the bedroom door and went back, kicking the floorboard to the right of your end table, and up it flipped. She bent down and pulled out a small black backpack she stored two years ago.

Opening it up to make sure everything was still there. She knew you probably didn't even know that it existed. (You hadn't.) But Natasha had to be sure.

Dumping out the bag's contents, she was happy to see that nothing was missing. But she still took inventory. 5 Widow Bites. 1 Pistol. 12 Bullets. 1 Set of Handcuffs. 1 Knife. 3 Needles of the Sleeping Agent. 1 Burner Phone.

Finally, 2 very dry Nutri-Grain Bar.

Natasha kept the loaded gun, knife, and handcuffs out of the bag and placed it on the desk in the corner of your room. The bag moved to the edge of the bed—no point in hiding it now.

"Oh, Y/N!" Natasha sat next to your upper body, passed out on the bed. She spoke as her soft hand ran through your hair. It calmed Natasha. "You're so pretty, Y/N."

Natasha looked over your still-covered body before moving her hand down your back. "Here. Come on." She flipped you over onto your back and pulled you more onto the bed.

Natasha's eyes found your face. "Baby, I can't wait for the rest of our lives." Natasha bit her lip as she spoke to you. Hopefully, and giddy for the future. "We're going to be so happy." Natasha leaned down and planted a kiss at the top of your head. "You still smell like coconut. I still don't really like that shampoo, but I know how much you do." Natasha smiled as if this was a normal conversation before giving you another kiss. Just as one of her hands began to snake its way across your stomach before landing at your hip.

"I love you."

Natasha couldn't help herself. She smiled brightly as she said those words out loud to you for the first time.

Natasha's lips found the side of your face again and again. She always loved how soft you felt against her. Delicate. Like something Natasha wanted to cherish. Keep perfect. Forever.

But there was also that part inside of her. The side of Natasha that wanted to own you. Take that softness and fuck it out of you. Damage you. Hurt you.

Both were fighting for control.

Regardless, Natasha slid down the zipper of your unbuttoned jeans and slipped her hand over your black cotton panties. Moaning as her stomach flipped in the joys of touching you, feeling your heat on her fingers. Letting excitement wave over her, she cupped your pussy before dragging her index finger up over your growing wet-covered folds. "Oh fuck, baby!" Natasha moaned before looking at the side of your face.

Natasha smiles to herself. She leans over and kisses your cheek, and quickly removes her hand from your recently shaved pussy.

Natasha licks the little slick on her fingers off.

Natasha savored the taste before she laid flat on her back. Lifting her ass as she tore off the black jeans she was wearing along with her red panties. Choosing to keep her slightly raised pullover hoodie on, Natasha grabbed your left wrist. "I want you to feel me..." Natasha looked over and spoke to you. "I want you to feel how wet you make me, Y/N! How tight I am for you. I've been waiting."

With that, Natasha kept her eyes on your left hand as she moved it down her toned stomach. The tips of your fingers brushing over her skin, making her squirm in anticipation for what's to come.

Moving them further down, Natasha gasps as your hand gets pushed down onto the top of Natasha's bare pussy. "This is for you." She moans as she pushed your hand further down. Directing your middle and ring finger to her clit. "Oh fuck!" She moans and grows wetter at your unconscious touch.

"Keep going. Keep going!" Natasha directs your fingers to move in a circular motion. Before her mouth drops as your fingers get pushed over The Black Widows dripping pussy. She moans and grips your hand. "Right there." Natasha moves your fingers around her opening for you.

"It's for you, baby. Come on. I want you to fuck me!" She gives your hand one more push and bucks when your fingers easily slide into her. Natasha loudly moans while her left hand grips the comforter of the bed.

Your fingers feel perfect inside of her.

Natasha can't get over that.

She thinks you were made for her.

Slowly, Natasha starts to move herself against your fingers. Her hips working overtime. Only using her right hand to position your hand better. "Oh my God!" Natasha smiles as a shaky breath comes out. You're doing this to her. You're making her feel this good. You're fucking her right.

Natasha is rocking her hips up and down your slick fingers. You're pushing her closer and closer. "Oh god!" She grunts as she slams the back of your hand to feel you deeper, indirectly slapping her pussy and clit that, sends a wave of pain that morphs into pleasure. "Oh yes!"

Natasha does it repeatedly while her left-hand works on her clit. Her middle fingers pushes the bud of it up as she continues her circular motion. "That's it, baby! Make me cum! Make me fucking cum!" She turns her head to you and stares at your unconscious body. "You're doing so well, baby."

If you were awake right now, you'd feel Natasha's wetness run down your fingers. Into your palms. And down your wrist. You'd hear her moans and screams of pleasure as she makes herself cum with your fingers. "Oh my God!" Natasha Romanoff jolts up. "Y/N, I'm cumming! I'm cumming! Oh fuck! Oh, fuck, baby.."

Natasha rides her orgasm out and smiles when she falls back onto the bed. She turns and looks at your body. "You made me feel so good."

You're perfect.

As she catches her breath, Natasha gently pulls your fingers out and brings them up to her mouth. She marvels at the sight of you now covered in her before she takes her tongue and runs it over your fingers. Enjoying the taste of herself. "I can't wait to taste you." Now that we're together, she forgot to add.

Natasha insets your finger back into her mouth. Loudly sucking on them and moaning before shoving your fingers to the back of her throat, making herself gag on them. She repeats the action.

"Will you let me do that to you?" Natasha says after she's pulled them out and caught her breath. "Hmm?" She licks them again. "Will you gag for me?" She kisses your ring finger and twirls it around. "I wonder..."

Natasha kisses you one more time as she gently places your hand down and moves her body to lay half of it on you. "I wonder what you won't do now that you're mine." She takes your chin in her hand and moves it in her direction. "I can't wait for you to be awake. For us." Natasha deeply kisses your lips as her hand quickly pushes your boobs up. "But first." Natasha releases you and gets up from the bed. She takes off the rest of her clothes and tosses them into your now-shared laundry basket before moving to the desk where her belongings are located.

"I need to take care of a few things."

_

Slowly, your body starts to stir awake.

You go to move to your side but wince when you land on your arm. You are unsure why it hurts, but you are too stiff and tired to worry about that right now. But for some reason, since you're awakening, your body isn't going back to sleep.

Silent bells are ringing in your head, but you don't know they're there.

You groan and manage to flip your body onto its stomach. This position feels terrific, especially since you feel the coolness of the bedsheet against your body. You snuggle your face into your pillow- your eyes shoot open.

You don't remember coming home...

You open your eyes wider and take a look around the room. It's your room. You're relieved to see that but grow more worried at your nonexistent memory of getting home.

Plus, it looks like things around the room are off... you turn your tired back against the mattress and find yourself surprised to have another person in the room.

A blonde-haired woman wearing one of your college sweatshirts looking through one of your old journals... Once again, the alarm in your head is not alerting you. It's distant and faded.

"That's my shirt..?" Your groggy voice makes the woman look up with a smile.

To you, the woman's smile looks like a kid on Christmas morning.

To Natasha, she's testing out how you're gonna act.

"Hi!" The woman gets up with a glass of water from the chair at your desk. The action reveals to you that it looks like she's not wearing any bottoms, but you can't tell because of the length of her- your sweatshirt. The blonde rounds the bed and carefully gets on her knees before you on the floor. She looks kindly at you as your eyes quickly scan her face and exposed legs. "Nice to see you up." She says to you. Innocently enough. "How are you feeling?" She sweetly asks as she hands you the glass of water.

"I don't- I don't remember..." You say, making the blonde smile wider. "I was walking..." You struggle to come up with anything after that. It's like your mind went blank.

Why couldn't you remember?

You shake your head and take a few sips from the glass before the blonde takes it from you to place on your bedside table—a kind gesture on the outside. But the less you know about the pheromonal powder agent you just ingested, the better.

"Oh, honey..." The blonde lifts and places her hand on yours. The soft contact makes you feel warmer. However, the feeling of this being wrong is still unreachable to you. Natasha smiles when you don't pull away. The drugs from before and now are working. "Those men really did a number on you, huh?"

Men? You think as Natasha watches your face.

"You know you're lucky I was there," Natasha says as she rises from her kneeling position to stand in front of you. Now she towers you, and you feel her legs brush past your own. You don't stop her as she moves closer to you. She raises a hand and pushes some of your hair back. "A man grabbed you and wanted to hurt you, but I was there to stop them. But honey, I think they drugged you..."

Her touch and voice were soothing. She felt and smelled wonderful. You even did your best to not react to the pet name she gave you. "Dru-drugged me?" Once again, the bells should be going off, but Natasha knows exactly what she's doing. "Yeah, I got you off the train, but as we were walking, you started to walk funny. Your face got sleepy." She says this while looking into your eyes. She has her gaze fixated on you, and it pulls you in. "But you were smart." The blonde smiles down at you. "You made sure to tell me where you lived so I could get you home safe." Her raspy voice makes you smile, but her words are making you question if that happened... but you don't remember...

"Are you okay?" She asks as you're thinking. You look back up at her concerned face. "Yeah.. I- I was just trying to remember..." Natasha nods and moves her body in between your legs. Spreading them further apart. "What did you say your name was again?" You ask, making Natasha laugh. "I didn't. Good try, though." She places her hands on your shoulders. She's bold. "What's the matter? You don't trust me?" Something about the way she says it makes you feel sick and guilty for even thinking that you didn't trust her.

Natasha, of course, knows this.

"No- no, I trust you! I'm sorry!" You reach your hands out and place them on Natasha's covered hips. Natasha smiles at your action while faking a sad sniffle. "My name is Natasha." You look over the blonde and smile.

That's when it clicks.

"Natasha Romanoff." Natasha's frown turns into a smile. "Wow, you know who I am?" She fakes surprise and turns on the innocence. You nod with your mind, unable to think about anything else but her. "Wow! I got saved by The Black Widow."

Natasha watches as you process this faux information. Gosh, you look so cute. "I guess I was lucky, huh?" You look at her, earning a chuckle. "I just didn't want anything to happen to you," Natasha says, warming your heart. "You're too perfect." She adds in a low whisper. Something you catch that makes your brain fuzzy.

However, before you can do or say anything else, Natasha pushes her body closer to you. Carefully, she watches your eyes as she lifts one leg over yours. Placing one knee on the bed next to your hips before doing the same with the other. She smiles down at you as her bare ass finds itself sitting in your lap.

You feel her wet pussy on your tight black bike shorts.

"Is this okay?" She whispers as she brings her face close enough to yours to feel her breath on your ear. You inhale her scent and feel the butterflies in your stomach.

"More than okay, Natasha..." You find yourself saying. The alarms in your head have officially been silenced. You should be asking why she's doing this, why she's still here. You shouldn't be accepting her advances. But yet you aren't questioning her. You accept her actions with a smile.

She smiles back.

"You know..." Natasha leans down and kisses your cheek. "I'll always protect you." You feel a blush on your face when her soft lips touch your skin again. "I've loved you for so long, and now I get to show you." Natasha lifts her face away from you to look at your eyes flutter.

Natasha sees how defenseless you are now.

The drugs have all worked.

"You love me?" You question as you move your hands down from Natasha's hips to her thighs. The touch of her feels cool to your warm hands. You peer into her green eyes and see them sparkle. "For years, I've loved you." She unwraps her arms from around you and places them on your hands. She moves them up from her thighs to under what used to be your shirt. You feel the bend of her hips and the softness of the sides of her body as your fingertips brush past their way to her nipples.

She pushes your hand to grope her boobs.

"For years, I've wanted you, and now I have you. Don't I?"

Natasha slowly moves her hips back and forth, sending a wave of pleasure through her body as her wet clit brushes up and down the end seam of your bike shorts. She moans and whimpers while looking at you, waiting for an answer. "Don't I, Y/N?!" You push and pull her boobs as you look at Natasha Romanoff acting like a slut for you. "Yes. Yes, Natasha! You have me!"

"I'm yours!" You wanted to scream.

"Good girl." She whispers as she leans down and kisses you again and again. Her tongue pushing its way into your mouth. The taste of her is salvia is electrifying. The pleasure you feel makes you moan into her mouth. Natasha smirks as you push yourself deeper and closer to The Black Widow.

Natasha reaches down as you two fall onto the bed to places her hand in the middle of your bike shorts. She begins rubbing your core up and down as her hand pushes your legs open. "Come on, baby. Open up for me."

You nod with your eyes closed and feel Natasha's fingers slow down in speed as she now gently brushes her fingers past your wet clit seeping through the shorts.

Each time she touches it, you jump.

And then. Natasha pulls her hands away from you: nothing but the cool air touching the wet spot on your shorts. You feel needy and frustrated. You open your eyes to see Natasha on her knees, lifting her shirt off her body. Her blonde hair falls back into place right above her shoulder.

She smiles at you and watches as you take her in.

You feel your mouth become dry as you look up at Natasha's toned stomach. A set of abs staring at you. You move from her perfect breast and hard pink nipples to her shoulders and biceps. The definition in her arms makes you close your mouth to hold in a noise that would've been embarrassing.

You look up at her neck—a smile when you see a cute mole that was previously hidden. Finally, you bring your eyes to her face and the smirk on her lips.

"Can I take these off?" Natasha points down to your bike shorts. You nod, making Natasha internally laugh. The shorts were coming off no matter what your answer was.

You pull your head from Natasaba's gaze and watch as Natasha's left hand goes to the bottom seam of your shorts and lifts them up from your body.

Once again, her touch makes your skin flush with pleasure. It's as if you're addicted to her and her touch.

Natasha pulls her right arm from behind herself, and that's when you drop your mouth. "Na-natasha, what's that?"

"Did I say you can speak?"

You sit stunned as the knife in her hand comes closer to your body. You weren't aware that you couldn't speak unless spoken to, but... di- did Natasha expect that of you? Did she tell you, and you just forgot?

"Look at me." She sternly asks of you. "Not at the knife but at me." The movement of the knife doesn't stop when you pull your eyes to Natasha and her beautiful green ones. "What did I say earlier?" She asks. "Think real hard and then answer me, okay." Her eyes leave you as she focuses on the blade, meeting the bottom seam of your shorts. You keep your eyes on Natasha's face and hear the ripping sound of your shorts as she goes further and further up.

She stops at your hip close to the top seam when you decide to speak up.

"That you'll always protect me." Natasha smiles wide. You listened and answered her perfectly. Natasha smiles and can't help herself when she leans in and kisses you. "Good job." She says with care dripping from her lips. "What else did I say?"

"That you love me."

Natasha nods. "I do love you." She leans in and, with the knife still in her left hand, drags up the rest of the way. Her lips touch yours at the same time the blade cuts through your shorts.

Immediately, Natasha tosses the knife off the bed. It clatters on the floor, making you jump into Natasha's lips again. "Sorry." You say when she backs away. "It's okay." The blonde tells you. "As long as you know that I would never hurt you, right?"

"Right." You agree easily.

Natasha smiles as she pulls at the fabric resting on your pussy. The coating sticks to you as she pulls it further away until the string of wetness breaks mid-air. Falling back onto your thigh. "Did Mommy make you feel this way?"

She knows that she did.

But she wants to hear you say it.

"Yes." Natasha brings her fingers back to where they belong. "Yes, what?" She glides her middle finger over your pink mound. You moan and shudder.

"Yes, Mommy."

_

Natasha should've left soon after that night. But she couldn't bring herself to do it.

She knew her friends needed her help, but she couldn't leave you. She finally had you, and you had her. Why would she want to jeopardize that?

So as, the days turned into weeks to months to years. Natasha felt the pressure to run continue to build.

In contrast, as the days turned into weeks to months to years. You felt yourself falling deeper and deeper in love with the one who saved you. The Black Widow. The cute blonde hero who made you breakfast in bed. The woman who stayed with you. The one who whispered sweet nothings into your ear every night as you drifted asleep. The woman who saved the world repeatedly could now be there for you.

Natasha even let it be known that you didn't have to work anymore. She had an array of offshore accounts and wanted to spoil you, and you, in turn, let her.

You blushed when she looked your way and never got tired of seeing her smile. A goddess herself sculpted her body, and Natasha happily made sure you came for her. Only her.

"Hey, what's going on?"

You walked out of your and Natasha's bedroom after finding the bed empty to see her in the living room going over her weaponry. Something you didn't like, but you trusted Natasha with them. Knowing she would never harm you.

It was early afternoon, and after your morning trip to the farmers market, followed by some light grocery shopping, you came home to Natasha, waiting with some brunch and a board game.

You took a nap after that, and while you slept, Natasha made her decision.

"They need me."

You knew who Natasha was talking about. It wasn't a secret that you were dating Natasha Romanoff. Well, it was a secret to everyone else. But you get my point. You were dating a fugitive labeled that by the United Nations on account of the Sokovian Accords—an ex-Avenger who still wanted to help.

"What if I don't want you to go." You asked with hurt in your voice. You finally had the love of your life. Someone you weren't even looking for, and now she wanted to go?

"Baby..." She put her gun on the coffee table and made her way to you. Wrapping her arms around you as you wrapped around her body. "I don't want to go..." A white lie, considering her little weekend-avenging trips from time to time weren't enough. "But I have to. To protect us. To protect you." The truth.

"Rogers needs me. Plus, with Vision and Wanda running around trying to be a normal couple again. He really needs the help."

You nodded into Natasha's shoulder. You hated that she was right. "How long?" Natasha sighed. She really didn't know how long it would be.

"Give me two weeks, and I'll be back."

You deflated, and your heart formed cracks. You didn't want her to leave, and you didn't want her to go for that long!

Natasha started kissing your head and rubbing your back, and you didn't understand why until you felt the tears leaving your eyes. You were crying.

Natasha hated it. She hated hearing how heartbroken you were. But at the same time, she loved it. You were hers. And she was yours.

"I love you Y/N. I'll be back before you know it."

"I love you, Natty. Please be careful."

_

Natasha wasn't even gone for two weeks. In fact, her time with Captain and Birdboy lasted a mere pair of days.

On day 3, Vision turned off his transponder.

Within 48 hours, half of everything was dust.

When Natasha found the others at the corpse of the synthezoid. Two people ran through Natasha's mind.

Yelena.

And you.

_

"Y/N!"

Natasha screamed as she busted open the door to your shared space. She threw her useless phone onto the counter as she ran through the living room, still in her uniform. Passing by the TV that sat on the emergency broadcast. "Y/N!" She called out again as she stopped at the bedroom door. "Please be here. Please be alive.."

Natasha had tears in her eyes as she slowly opened the bedroom door. Her breath left her lips in a gasp before she blinked away tears that were escaping. She carefully made her way to the bed and sat down.

You turned over as you felt the bed shift. Then you opened your eyes when you felt Natasha's presence. "Natasha? Natasha!" You sprung up from the bed and collided into her body.

You both wept as the relief flooded your combined emotions. "You're alive..." Natasha whispered into your head before inhaling.

She grew to love your shampoo.

"I miss you." You said. "Don't worry, Detka. I'm here. I'm here." Natasha kissed the side of your head before leaning back and kissing your mouth.

God, she missed your lips and the softness of your cheeks as you tried to hide your blush.

"I miss you." You repeated, confusing Natasha.

"Babe?" She pulled back and held your head in her hands. Her green eyes scanned your beautiful face and saw nothing wrong until a speck of dust flew off your nose. "No.." Natasha whispered with pain. "Y/N." She kept your face in her hands as little by little. You ceased to exist. "Y/N!" Her hands started to be covered.

"I miss you."

"Y/N, please no! No! Please!"

"I miss-" "Stop it!" "Nata-"

"No!" She screamed and screamed as you vanished until she woke up thrashing in her bed at the compound. Alone. Gun drawn and ready...

"Whatever it takes..." Whispered by you... Is this the last thing Natasha always heard when she woke up from her nightmares..

Natasha looks around the room with bags under her red, dried eyes and chapped lips. She struggles every day to live. She hates herself for leaving.

She hates that the last thing you told her was, "be careful."

She is hurt. Alone. Scared.

She misses you.

Every day, she tries and uses her resources to find a way to bring everyone back. But so far, she's always coming up empty-handed.

The worst part is, is that even after three years of you being gone. Natasha never told anyone. You were a secret to everyone else.

But to Natasha, you were everything.

dividers by @/benkeibear & @/firefly-graphics

[pixiiipie]

edging zayne inspired by my mini thirst!

includes: sub zayne + dom reader | edging (giving) | fingering (giving) | handjob (giving) | porn with plot!

another victory for zayne after a very long loss streak from you. you swore he was doing this on purpose. everything goes so well for you just before he reduces all your cats to 1 and replaces them with his. that typical for him! acting like it was just intentional and not even flaunting his win. if he didn’t want it maybe he should have just given it to you.

“i hope this luck doesn’t run out for your surgeries tomorrow” you say dryly looking up from your cards to his expressionless face. “you assume this is just plain luck? how very childish” there was that monotone voice he uses to casually drop an insult. you knew he couldn’t help it. it was so nice that he finally had some free time but he occasionally finds it difficult to switch out of work mode.

just then, as you were trying to fight off a barrage of attacks in your head against him, an idea came to light. you couldn’t hide your smile and zayne probably saw this as he studied your change in emotion. “hey dr zayne. how about a reward for your many… many victories against me?” you say but he wasn’t too convinced. “this is a trick.” he says holding eye contact, his face never changing.

“i promise no trick! you really deserve this especially after these past few long days. i’m grateful to spend time with you.” zayne isn’t convinced and directs his attention elsewhere wanting to end this boring conversation. “well we’ve been here for a little while let’s go home. if you want your reward, come over to mine.” you say collecting your things together slowly to give him time to think. of course, he doesn’t need too much time to think over things that’s the amazing skill of dr zayne.

as you come to the street where one way will go to yours and the other to his, as most of your walk has been, you quietly turn to go to your home and like a lost puppy, zayne follows. it seems that whatever front he puts up, he can’t resist temptation. you smile to yourself and experimentally take his hand. he doesn’t pull away. instead he just rubs his thumb over your the back of your hand. your warm hand in his freezing hand. you lift them and give his a small kiss to his knuckles trying to settle him and promise that he’ll enjoy this reward. (if you’ve seen the keira knightly pride and prejudice, think about that scene towards the end with mr darcy <3)

———

finally home and on your bed you softly kiss him to warm him up slowly removing his clothes as you did so. most of your advances have been to get him used to such sweet affection and to encourage him to be vulnerable with you. “so how are you intending to ‘reward me’?” zayne asks same monotone voice but becoming breathless, half lidded eyes looking up at you. this feels very mean now as you take in his heavy breaths and red ears but you can’t back down now. reminding yourself of your plan, you answer him by holding out two fingers and gently pressing them against his lips.

it took zayne a little while before he understood what you wanted him to do (this was partially because you had never made him do this or because his head was becoming hazy. you’d never guess he was weak to kisses). “you should really wash your hands before something like this.” he says trying to act aloof but his breathing failing him. this brought all your annoyance back and without protesting, you went to go stand up before a firm hand grabbed your wrist. “it was only a joke. i apologise.” zayne says, slightly embarrassed. to try and make it up to you it seems, he kept ahold of your wrist and moved your hand to his mouth, taking in two of your fingers.

at first it was clear that he had no idea what to do. he knew the fingers were not usually an endogenous zone so was unsure of how you’d feel good by him doing this. as he continued, it soon clicked. his breathing slowed and his eyes fluttered shut. it was so cute watching zayne discover things about himself. “you’re doing so well.” you say, addicted to watching him. you needed to get on with the main event though. a small tap on his cheek helped him to come out of his daze slightly and he released your fingers. “did that feel good?” you ask, wanting to hear about his findings. “mmm yes… i liked that.” he said breathlessly. maybe he’ll give you a more detailed response later when his head is in better shape.

giving him a forehead kiss as a half apology you coated your fingers and a little on his hole with lube before getting an embarrassed confirmation nod from zayne. starting with one, you pushed a finger in and watched him let out a small gasp. a little while after, you added another and his body stuttered. you loved to watch him. he’s not quite comfortable with what you do with him with you watching so he’s always trying to hide his face and his noises.

holding the back of his head, you go to kiss him while your other hand finds his prostate. zayne’s kisses were never incredible but now with his thoughts being consumed by pleasure, they was even worse. you could tell he was trying to be good but they just turned out sloppy. you drank in his moans when he suddenly broke away from the kiss and hid his head into your shoulder.

“i found your favourite spot. doesn’t it feel so good dr zayne?” you say, trying to embarrass him further. all he could do was whimper in response, cringing at how sensitive his body was. with this new angle, you continue to abuse his prostate and start kissing at his neck. he couldn’t help but twitch at everything you were doing. you knew him too well. he knew human anatomy but you knew his body.

it didn’t take long for everything to become too much. you have such a cute boy! he never has time for himself so he’s always so sensitive to your touch. “c-careful mgh-! ‘m close…!” zayne whined holding onto your arm as a reflex and hiding into you. just as he did this though, you pulled your fingers out and waited for him to come out of his trance.

“i knew it.” he said with a shaky voice. “but did i say ‘a reward’ or ‘your reward’?” you remind him, stroking his hair with your clean hand. “both.” he reminds back trying to claim control over the situation. he was infuriating when he proved you wrong and clearly enjoyed doing so. “no matter. my point is, this reward isn’t necessarily for you. it’s my reward for being so patient with all of those games you’ve snatched away from me. now it’s your turn to be patient.” your words stung him.

“now how many times have you won? should we only count today? or since we begun playing?” zayne wouldn’t call himself a desperate man. he would calmly think his way out of situations instead of begging pathetically. however, he couldn’t quite think in the same way he could before… “please… please just today.” he pleaded, knowing that ‘neither’ wasn’t an option and you’d probably leave him like that to get off by himself.

you felt awful taking away the trust you built up today but… he looked absolutely delicious. this was probably the only time you’ll truly hear him beg and really mean it. he looked like a mess.

“so today was… three wins to you. you’re such a clever boy.” you mocked him. he couldn’t quite accept your praise but at this point, he craved anything you’d give him. “you’ve been so good so far. i’m going to edge you two more times okay? remember, no cumming until i say you can.” zayne nodded preparing himself. you press a kiss to his cheek (you didn’t want to push him too hard) and again, slipped your fingers into his hole.

as he was already stretched out, you added another to increase the ‘torture’ for him. as soon as you did, he let out a choked moan and rested his arm over his eyes. catching this, you moved it away where he instead held onto you. “i want to see my pretty boy fall apart.” you whisper into his ear before nibbling at his lobe. the noises he made were heavenly. he tried not to whine but when one slipped from his lips you tried not to forget that you were punishing him. with every brush against his prostate, his hips jerked upwards, begging for friction. cute

it didn’t take long for him to get close again as he was already so pent up. zayne considered not telling you and tricking you into letting him cum but he didn’t want to test your patience today. “s-stop…” he breathed trying to keep his voice low. just as last time, you removed your fingers and waiting for him to come back down from his (almost) high. “that’s my good boy just one more now.” zayne didn’t say anything. he just focused on bringing his breathing down to a good speed. he must have sensed that you were staring at him, worried he hates you. he took your hand and brought it to caress his cheek- occasionally nuzzling into it and pressing kisses into your palm. he’s so cute when he’s vulnerable. nothing to hide now so he may as well be affectionate.

he nodded to let you know he was good to carry on and you two shared a quick kiss as your hand snaked back down. however, instead of his hole, you begun to work on his dick. this took zayne off guard and he immediately started warning you “n-no not there i- it’s—!” he babbled but a little too embarrassed to admit how it felt. enjoying how little control he had over his body at this moment, you abandoned sitting next to him in order to use both your hands. one stroking him, the other fingering him but as soon as you felt his prostate “hng-!! st-stop! closecloseclose!” he warned and you listened. you quickly pressed a kiss to his inner thigh which made his body jolt.

“you’ve done it! you were so good im not surprised the calculated dr zayne managed to keep his cool.” you say taking in the image of zayne with his head to the side and chest heaving. his face was flushed and eyebrows knitted together. “i’d love to see you play like this. maybe we should try a few rounds with a vibrator and see if you can still beat me then…” zayne was barely processing anything you were saying.

you moved back up next to him and kissed his sweaty forehead. “are you ready for your real reward my love?” you ask. zayne simply looked over at you with an expression that only read ‘yeah right. i don’t like your definition of ‘rewards’.’

“i promise.” you say softly, “where do you want me to touch you?” you decide to be a little sweeter to him as this time, it really is his reward.

“both” he whispers. cute.

unfortunately, it didn’t take long for him to cum after being edged but you enjoyed how he looked while it lasted. the pure bliss on his face knowing that this time, he could cum. watching him get close, you started to slow down to tease him and he tried to give you a glare but he just looked like a kicked puppy instead. “sorry” you say with a smile “you’re just so beautiful, zayne.” your compliment as well as the use of his name (not dr zayne as you had used to tease him. just zayne. your zayne.) pushed him over the edge. “go ahead, my love. please do.” you encourage incase he was waiting for your permission.

finally he came and painted his stomach and your hand with a loud breath. he felt so faint but happy too. when he came down from his high and didn’t feel so dizzy, he weakly called your name. you quickly wiped your hands as best as you could with a nearby cloth and lay next to him. zayne moved his head onto your chest and used your heartbeat to ground him. you lazily stroked his hair and whispered praises to him. “your heart… is fast.” he managed to say still not quite all there. “it’s always like that with you.” you say pressing a kiss to his temple and that response seemed to satisfy him.

“slowing down was cruel.” he later said, his usual expression returning to his face though it did not have its usual effect when he was wrapped around you. “i’m sorry but you have really cute reactions.” his eyebrows furrowed at being called ‘cute’ but only briefly. “i’ll buy you a really nice desert.” you say trying to bargain with him.

“you know the way to my heart isn’t through my stomach.” he says blandly. after a moment, he continues “just… a kiss will do.” and you happily oblige.

if you enjoyed, please consider liking or even reblogging! any kind of interaction let’s me know that you liked this and gives me motivation to write more. make sure to follow to stay up to date with all my thoughts <3

[bethanydelleman]

So I asked a while ago about which of our main men would change the most/least of their novels if they went back to the start (and I really loved the answers)…

But how do you think it would work vice versa? If our leading ladies went back to the start who do you think would change the most of their respective novels?

I feel like Marianne and Emma would probably change the most… but most of them would change things quite a bit I think.

Except maybe Fanny not out of lack of want to change things but because she has so much difficulty speaking up. I’ve got to admit I’m swaying back and forth on Lady Susan and Anne though. Bc Lady Susan is just arrogant enough to think that if she knows when/how things are going to go wrong then she can prevent them even when it’s something out of her control or that she doesn’t know the actual cause of. And Anne is quite a lot like Fanny in that she has trouble speaking up and also bc up until Lyme Wentworth is still very angry with her and I’m not sure there’s anything that she could do to mitigate that before then…

Thoughts? 💜

This question is in reference to this question.

I think the person who would change the most is Elizabeth Bennet, she's the only one who has someone she absolutely needs to save. (And Jane Bennet if we are counting her as a heroine.) Fortunately, I think rescuing Lydia would be in their power. Elizabeth would actually flirt with Darcy and she could drop hints about Jane loving Bingley. I think they could prevent Bingley from leaving and through that, prevent Lydia's trip to Brighton (ie take her somewhere else exciting with their wealth, as they take over the care of Kitty in canon). Also, knowing his true nature, they'd likely start some sort of whisper campaign against Wickham.

If only Elinor time travels, she would hopefully be able to inform Colonel Brandon about Willoughby earlier and stop W's romance with Marianne, but I don't think she could stop W&M on her own because she doesn't have any evidence of Willoughby's wrongdoing. She'd at least be prepared for the Lucy reveal and she knows it will turn out okay. I think she'd be intelligent enough to just not touch that and let nature take it's course.

Marianne would go for Colonel Brandon and snub Willoughby, it'd be delightful!. Poor Willoughby would have an ego crisis losing to an "old" man.

Anne Elliot doesn't have trouble speaking up, in my opinion, she just knows it's useless. She's been living with her father and Elizabeth for long enough to know that they won't listen to her. However, she would know the future which would be comforting at least and maybe she could prevent the Lyme fall. I think Wentworth would still wake up to his true feelings even without the fall and Anne is selfless enough to risk it.

Catherine Morland would likely avoid Isabella and her best to keep James from entering into his engagement. She would eagerly look forward to each time she knows that Henry Tilney is coming and would not even accuse General Tilney of being a murderer, not even once!

Fanny Price is actually kind of cruel, because the future would horrify her but I don't think she could do anything to prevent it. Edmund is ineffective, Maria wouldn't listen, and I don't think Fanny would dare approach Sir Thomas. So she'd just be EVEN MORE of a Cassandra and in acute pain the whole time. The fact that she ends up with Edmund would only be a minor consolation, given her personality.

Lady Susan would try again with her better knowledge, she might even succeed 😬 the horror!

Lastly, Emma. She's a tricky one because I don't know what she would do. She knows Elton sucks, she knows Jane and Frank are engaged, she's ashamed of her behaviour... Does she encourage Harriet to accept the first proposal or do the same thing as last time so she can enjoy a year with a friend? I think she would refrain from encouraging Harriet about Elton, and therefore avoid that heartbreak. Could she wiggle out of Elton's proposal? I don't know. It's going to happen eventually. She may discover that without her flirting with Frank, Knightley doesn't discover his feelings, so she's got to stick as close as possible to her original actions to prevent disaster! However, she would avoid the Box Hill debacle and refrain from bringing up Mr. Dixon with Frank.

[rickktish]

A list of mutable batfam headcanons that live inside my brain:

Steph deserves to be 6’ minimum, preferably 6’1” or 2”

Bruce is constantly trying to balance his need to be at the same eye level or above the people he’s intimidating vs his need to do his funky little gargoyle crouch. His favorite thing about the GCPD roof is that it has lots of surfaces he can crouch on and still meet or look down at Gordon’s eye level

Tim and Damian suffer from “too similar to get along” disease and must either become best friends or despise each other until the end of time

Babs prefers light, natural toned makeup. Steph prefers pops of color and decent amounts of jewelry when she can get away with it. Cass prefers jewelry and no makeup at all

Jason’s comfort meals are all variations on soup served with bread for dipping

Jason is of the opinion that Fitzwilliam Darcy is an ass at the beginning of the book and it’s a good thing he decided to change himself so he could take his place as Best Fictional Man Ever. Dick, who read the book in order to be able to connect with Jason better, is of the opinion that Fitzwilliam Darcy has done nothing wrong ever and only needed to work on his social skills, meaning that it’s his improved ability to communicate that makes him worthy of Elizabeth Bennet at the end. Neither of them wants to listen to Tim’s analysis of what this says about their relationships with Bruce

Duke has never engaged in non-Alfred approved chaos. This is not because Duke seeks Alfred’s approval, but rather because their senses of humor are in perfect alignment and Alfred is always pleased to discover that he approves of Duke’s particular instances of chaos even after the fact

Damian never had stuffed animals growing up, but after being corrupted by Dick’s influence he can no longer sleep without a minimum of one in his bed

Damian collects posters and articulable action figures. His favorite ones are the ones that can stand on their own, which he uses for posing practice in his drawings. His favorite figure is of one of the characters in Cheese Vikings who has a zuko-esque backstory and a secret propensity for gardening

Dick always buys the most beat up box of cereal at the grocery store because he feels bad for them

Cass loves not only ballet, but other works by classical composers as well. She will unironically listen to the local classical station, and can identify the Borodin String Quartet by the sound of their instruments alone

Tim and Bruce watch and read Gray Ghost media in all its various forms and discuss it together as a bonding activity

Alfred and Jason’s shared birthday is usually celebrated with them making each other cakes, meaning that everyone gets to enjoy not one but two cakes for the day

Jason specializes in cheesecake above all other cakes, though he did make Damian a black forest cake for his birthday once right after he’d finished playing Portal

Literally everyone is surprised when they learn that Damian plays video games. No one has ever once looked at him and thought “yeah, i bet that kid plays console games” and he’s actually really insecure about it, but he also refuses to wear any kind of merch outside the house. He owns dozens of gaming and anime T-shirts but refuses to be seen as anything but completely neutral outside his own territory

Most of the bats wear drug-detecting nail polish at all times, though the base and reactive colors vary by the bat in question

Bruce and Dick have both had therapists straightup quit on them and are therefore reluctant to go back to therapy ever again

Duke’s favorite book is Walden Pond

Alfred read Lord of the Rings aloud to Bruce when he was a kid

[kneelingshadowsalome]

why do i feel like könig would make the most poetic heart shattering, tear jerking love letter for engel and she just ends up crying reading each word carefully(its either written in german or english does NOT matter would still cry)

He would though 😭💌

König is a hopeless romantic without even knowing it. He rarely uses his phone except to quickly check something, rarely texts you unless you text him first and never uses emojis, but he does write to you when he's away, even if it's just for a week. And it's not a cute little postcard you're getting...

Because König will send you 3–5 page letters when he's deployed. He sends them even during a mission if he can.

You know it because some of those letters have dirt on them, mainly fingerprints from his gloves, and they're in a poor condition overall because he's had to quickly tuck them away in the middle of writing them. It's not recommended that soldiers like him do stuff like that, send letters to their sweethearts during a covert operation, but König always finds a way.

He's spent hours on them too, because the first thing you notice is his handwriting: now much more eloquent when he's writing to you instead of filling out a dull form or briefly adding something to the grocery list. He's clearly made an effort in trying to make the letters thoughtful and romantic (without even knowing it), tries to play Mr. Darcy or something even though you know for a fact that König has never watched a single period drama in his life.

He just thinks that's what men do, or at least should do; write love letters to their girls back home. It both creeps you out and tugs at your heart to see the rigid, unusual calligraphy paired with smudged fingerprint stains on those multiple sheets of white. You wonder if the other soldiers think he's weird or laugh at him for writing letters to his girl like it's 1916 and he's stuck in trench warfare when he could simply give you a holler through a text.

He talks about how his days have been, the things he saw today (an abandoned cat, a beautiful big spruce, a flower that reminded him of you), but mostly, he talks of his love for you and how much he misses you.

He mourns that you can't send him a letter back (technically, you could send one to the base, but it's not recommended either), and says that he always carries a picture of you with him. He will bring you a little something, a souvenir of sorts from his missions (you already know it's going to be a dried flower if it's summertime). He says the thoughts of you help him fall asleep and that he misses your smile the most of all. He will kiss you all over when he gets back.

One time, he tells you about a statue of an angel he saw where he was dropped. The details of his work are forbidden from civilians such as you, but he always shares the things he can. He paints a bittersweet picture of how he watched that statue survive the relentless hammering of air support, grenades and showered bullets while the rest of the city fell around in ruins. It stood there, untouched by mud and horror and death even as people around him got hit.

He tells you the angel reminded him of you.

[magnolianv1nce]

(hc) being with nick + charlie . . .

pairing(s) : poly!nick and charlie x male!reader

synopsis : headcanons while dating nick and charlie !

warning(s) : polyamorous relationship , mentions of hickeys , mentions of making out . comment any i missed please !

✢ they both consider themselves ‘ the luckiest men on earth ’ for being able to date you .

✢ they love you to DEATH , and would want you to feel 100% comfortable anywhere you were .

✢ charlie would be the one who asked you out , but nick would be the one who first kissed you .

✢ the moment you three got together , nick and charlie would constantly take pictures of you .

✢ yes , they have a whole photo album dedicated just to you .

✢ you three would have matching lock screens or just a group photo of you three ( similar to those photobooth images . )

✢ youll easily be able to catch both of them staring at you in awe just because they realized they pulled YOU !

[y/n] — “ why are you both looking at me like that ? ” [nick + charlie with eyes of adoration] — “ like what ? ”

✢ before coming out to ANYONE about your relationship , they both would take sneaky kisses or affectionate love bites whenever they could .

✢ although they both can get away with minor PDA fairly easier and pass it off as ‘ best friends ’ and such , although the more handsy they get the more suspicious they look .

✢ out of everyone in the group , darcy would be the most likely to find out about you three , mainly through her gay intuition .

✢ once you three do eventually come out as a couple , everyone is extremely supportive ( darcy is constantly shouting that she knew it ) , even if other people outside the friend group dont understand it .

✢ even if ben hope and his homophobic strag patrol ends up coming up to you or talking about you , all three of you try your best to make sure it doesnt get to any of you .

✢ nick would constantly hold your hand or run his thumb against your arm while charlie would whisper little jokes about harry or ben .

✢ if it helps , they would lend you their sweaters or jackets to make it feel like they were with you everytime you wore their clothing .

✢ speaking of clothing , you three borrow clothes from each other so often that when you go shopping for new garments , youre basically subconsciously shopping for the other two .

✢ even if you dont play rugby , nick and charlie would still text you to come into the locker room just for kisses or affection .

✢ you almost get caught a worryingly amount of times on a daily basis while making out with them two ( although you and charlie both blame nick , but he makes it up to you by kissing you . )

✢ hugs . hugs hugs hugs . must i say more ?

✢ nick could very easily lift you + charlie up in a single hug ( then again charlie is quite easy to pick up regardless ) .

✢ nick would definitely hug you both whenever he gets the chance , whether that be in the hallways or in between his rugby scrims .

✢ he likes to use this as a way to lovingly mess with you and charlie , since he'll run at both of you for hugs and kisses after his rugby matches .

[y/n + charlie] — “ NICKKKKK , YOU'RE ALL SWEATY ! ” [nick] — “ then stop gripping onto me so tightly-! ”[ y/n + charlie] — “ nope . ”

✢ studying after school with these two are either 100% productive and you three actually get your work done . . .

✢ . . . or end up with your textbooks shoved to the side and you between nick and charlie in a very heavy makeout session .

✢ because charlie constantly takes all of nick’s sweaters , nick ends up willingly acting as your personal ATM .

✢ you need to buy supplies ? hes pulling out his wallet. you mention something you wanted ? next thing you know hes purchased it WITH overnight shipping . you say youre hungry ? hes already reciting his credit card numbers .

✢ charlie would make a playlist of songs that made him think of you !!

✢ he would also send you multiple songs or tiktoks that remind him of you , easily forwarding 71 videos from his fyp to you .

✢ he loves to teach both you and nick the drums , although youre more adamant about doing it than nick .

✢ youll usually sit on his lap or have him pressed against your back while his hands guide yours to play some rhythm on the drums .

✢ when you and nick come over to charlie's , tori often times drops tidbits of information on how charlie constantly talks about you .

✢ she often describes that he is , ‘ gooning about you two 24/7 ’ , much to charlie's denial .

✢ ideal dates with these two dont have to be a lot , it could literally just be facetiming .

✢ with that being said , the arcade is a hotspot for your dates . you three are easily familiar faces with the arcade staff , earning the nickname ‘ triple threat ’ .

✢ the mall and the beach are your other favorite spots , since they contain a lot of your favorite memories with the two dorks .

✢ although you dont consider it a date , taking nellie for a walk with charlie and nick are another highly popular event you three do .

✢ although nick is certain you like nellie more than him ( he is , apparently , NOT jealous . )

✢ speaking of jealously , when these two get jealous . . . its a riot .

✢ it doesnt even have to be that big of a deal , it could be an underclassmen asking you to meet them for lunch and they would be throwing up a shit storm .

✢ nick gets WILDLY possessive of you , and will intimidate others off with his signature arm cross paired with a glare .

✢ charlie on the other hand will get extra handsy , holding your hand or clinging onto your arm . he'll even play with your hair occasionally if it gets the point across .

✢ even afterwards when you three are alone ( like say , nick's house or in the locker room ) , theyll still be all over you , kissing you and hugging your ribs to death .

[nick murmuring kisses into your neck] — “ your ours , got it ? ” [y/n] — “ all i told him was i would get the assignment do-, ” [charlie against your back] — “ no talking to other guys ! theyre gonna fall in love with youuu . . . ” [y/n] — “ fine . . . you guys are more than enough anyway . ”

✢ if that certain person who makes them jealous still hasnt gotten the hint . . . charlie and nick take more drastic measures .

✢ like say . . . leaving hickeys barely visible on your collarbone or shoulder area or posting you three on his instagram story .

✢ regardless , youre happy that you get to be theirs , and theyre happy they get to be yours .

[romanoffsbish]

Mind Games

Natasha Romanoff x Fem!Reader

Darcy x F!R (if you squint)

Prompts

"Please...say something." (26)

Warnings: Gaslighting, Trauma, Jealousy, Fighting. (Happy ending tho)

18+ | Minors DNI | Alluded to SMUT

Natasha was pacing around the expanse of the common room, you'd just uttered the words that held the power necessary to break her. There was no denying Natasha and you were in love, but somehow it is all the woman ever did. After every hookup she'd reiterate that you and her were just helping one another manage your stress, but then she'd ask you in a whisper to stay, and you always did, because deep down this relationship meant more to both of you.

The team knew, and they were all actually rooting for you, Tony even called you his OTP. Natasha would roll her eyes, deny the claims, then fuck you so good that night you let it go. This went on for two years, the both of you were basically inseparable; until you were.

—————

This last month you'd mistakenly said it, those three words that she conveyed with a lingering kiss came out of your mouth like word vomit. Everything changed, she stopped answering your texts, switched out from being your mission partner, and even flirted with others on the team to make her point to you crystal clear that this whole shebang wasn't real.

Except it was real, that was the problem, the woman spent her whole life living in fables. Every night a new persona, a new mark to hit, nothing ever stayed the same for long with her. Change was ironically her only constant, so to suddenly have this beautiful, bubbly woman taking the space of the cobwebs in her heart was foreign. Not necessarily unwelcome, but for the time being it felt that way to her, and now her tactics to keep you at arms length worked, but fuck if she wasn't regretting it all now that you were willingly moving on.

Her eyes stung with the tears she'd been holding in since the night you walked out of her room, and she pushed you out of her life. She felt like she couldn't breathe, as if the walls were truly closing in on her, and trapping her in with her pain. As she'd watched you head off to get ready for your date, without even sparing her a glance, she knew she was losing you.

Fear still held her tightly in it's grasp, but you were more than worth the risk of venturing into the unknown, because truth be told she's already fallen, and she didn't take a parachute. Without you there to catch her, she'd likely crash and burn, as she honestly deserved. However, she wasn't one to give up easily; if this was truly her last chance she'd take it, and most importantly she wouldn't squander it.

"What are you waiting for?," Tony snapped at the still woman, and Natasha shook her head to bring herself back to the moment., "Go!," he instructed, then as if she were a mindless robot her legs moved her out of the room, and up many flights of stairs to get to you, arriving just in time as you exited your room in a stride.

The woman was already winded from the trek up, but once she saw you in that dress, you genuinely took her remaining breath away. She'd grown so used to seeing you in your mission suits, and lazy day sweats that she'd forgotten just how good you looked in a full on get up. Not that you were not pretty enough otherwise, because you were, but this specialty look really accentuated your natural beauty.

Natasha was so enamored by said beauty that she narrowly missed her window to stop you. The familiar dinging of the elevator pulled her from her stupor though, and with all the speed in the world she made it through the closing doors before you could safely descend in peace. The redhead cringed at your cold demeanor as she brought her eyes up to look into yours, but with the sudden drop of the machine she was aware she was on borrowed time., "Y/N..."

"Save it Natasha.," the bite in your tone was so out of character for you, it truly shattered her heart to know that she'd hurt you this badly., "Y/N, please..," she was desperate to explain herself, to tell you she was ready to love you how you truly deserved, but the valid anger was rolling right off you as you shouted., "No!"

"I fucking need you to listen to me, please!," Natasha yanked on the emergency button as she saw you staring in relief at the single digit numbers., "Natasha, what the actual fuck?!," she simply shrugged at your angered words, then she swiftly grabbed your outstretched hands, twisting you about until your arms were crossed over your body, and your back was slammed into the elevator wall., "Natasha..."

"Stop being so stubborn Y/N, and let me talk.," she shut your attempted warning down, and in a moment of calm before the storm you nod, far too curious to see where she's going with this elevator ambushing to not., "Thank you."

"I-.," she paused as she finally met your eyes, this is the closest she'd been to you in over a month, and that knowledge nearly causes her to crumble. The woodsy smell of your cologne, her favorite from your vast collection, hits her nostrils and tears brim in her eyes at all the associated memories that come with the scent., "Nat?," you were rightfully furious, but that didn't mean seeing her on the verge of tears didn't hurt you just the same., "What is it?"

"Please, don't go out with them...," her words are hardly even a whisper, but the closeness of her face to yours allows you audibility, and the settled anger brews with a renewed passion., "You can't be fucking serious right now Nat, you have no right to ask such a thing!," it hurt to see her flinch at your unfamiliar tone, but fuck if it didn't also feel good to air it all out.

"You're the one who ended this, actually no, you fucking iced me out like I was nothing to you, I was just a hole for you to fill until it got too fucking real for you.," your harsh words truly upset the redhead, because never in this entire time had she sought out to use you. Sure, she might've recently reacted adversely with all of her baseless flirting with others, but up until she got freaked out, she'd been only yours. She'd never even so much as looked at another person; how could she when you were always stood in the same room for her to gawk at?

Natasha watched with a blank stare as you suddenly made limited hand gestures before continuing on., "This was nothing, now move out of my way.," you attempted to shove her off, but she slammed you back into the cooled metal, causing you to involuntarily huff., "I said listen to me, not to speak out of turn.," you glared at her attempts at dominance, but you reluctantly gave into her as her hold tightened.

"This.," she dropped her hold on your hands to convey your message more clearly, her pointer finger pressing into your chest before her own., "Was far from nothing, and you know that!," she took in another shaky breath, hearing you say what you did really left her feeling broken. The anger you felt was valid, she even knew she deserved to be shamed, but that didn't stop the feelings of insecurity and pain from festering; holding onto her tattered heart without mercy.

"It was stupid, icing you out, but it happened. There's no undoing the past, no one knows that better than me Y/N, but fuck, hearing you talk about your date awoke something within me.," the truth in her gorgeous green eyes was far too overwhelming for you so you dropped her gaze, but she quickly remedied that by lifting your face back up so she could look into your eyes., "I already knew it was love when I couldn't fathom sleeping alone after having the pleasure of your warm body up against mine, and I can't go on another day pretending it's not all that I want or need, because I fucking need you Y/N."

The confession was all you'd ever wanted from her, the truth you'd always felt in her lingering touches, but were never likely going to hear. Finally hearing it though was bittersweet, to have needed some adverse cause to leave her lips made it hard to appreciate the sentiment. It left you at a loss for words, and Natasha even more desperate., "Please...say something."

"I-.," your lip began to tremble, the words you wanted to say hanging in the thick air as you lost all of your resolve. Crying for the first time really since that first night when you initially cried yourself to sleep; being angry was easier, but now, with her looking at you so tenderly, it was all you could do to breakdown before her., "I'm so sorry, I-I—fuck I can't believe I hurt you like this, please forgive me detka, please."

Natasha pulled your trembling body into her own, guiding your face into her neck, and she felt a bit better when you desperately wrapped your arms around her waist to pull her closer., "I'll do anything you need moya lyubov'.," she whispered, placing a shaky kiss to your temple, "I love you more than my access to words can explain, I need you more than Tony needs his Whiskey, or more than Steve needs an enema."

"Natasha, for the love of God.," you groaned at the mental image now flashing in your mind, but the lighthearted tone made her heart calm., "What? You always say he needs to pull the stick out of his pompous ass, I'm agreeing.," you giggled as she offered further explanation, then after a few short moments of that it was back to the tense silence, but she still felt relief as you hadn't shoved her away from you yet.

"Natasha?," she tensed at the use of her full name, but she pulled back slightly to face you, and the daunting symphony of her mistakes., "Yes detka?," you melted into her hands as they held your face so softly, even more so as she used the familiar Russian pet name for you., "What took you so damn long? Why couldn't you love me back then too? Why only now?"

The redhead sighed, but it didn't stop the sound of her heartbeat pounding in her ears., "I've never been good with consistency Y/N/N. All I've ever know was constant change, and how to hurt the people I was meant to love.," hearing her own words led to tears falling as she recalled Yelena, the first person who'd been broken by her selfishness, then she remembers her sisters forgiveness, and this all starts to feel a whole lot less intimidating for her.

"Please, do understand that just because I never said it before, that I've still loved you all along.," her rough thumb brushed away your steady stream of tears, while she continued telling you her truths., "I've needed you from the very beginning, it was an instantaneous feeling, I'd never experienced it before, and it scared me so much that it was now my truth."

"I've never needed anyone before, but when I lost you it was like everything around me was dulled.," her eyes matched her sentiment as you gazed into them, the light all but gone., "The warmth of the sun turned frigid with everyday I woke up without you by my side.," she shivered as if remembering the way it felt., "Coffee became bitter without your laughter filling the kitchen in the morning to sweeten it up as we ate our differing breakfast together.," you instantly smiled, remembering how she ate her boring toast and oatmeal with a black coffee, all while taunting you for using all the creamer in the place, essentially "tainting" the coffee, and your dental health as you usually coupled it with sugary cereals or confections.

"Nothing work's right without you Y/N, I'm bombing all my missions, I am not sleeping much or eating, I am unable to even think about anything else but how I hurt you.," she leaned her forehead to yours., "I'm in love with you, wholeheartedly so, and I will do whatever it takes to win you back Y/N. All I ask is that you don't see her tonight, cancel the date, and accompany me up to the rooftop instead."

Natasha pushed the emergency button back into the slot, falling into you briefly as the machine jolted, and in a moment of weakness both of your lips collided for a short embrace. Once the doors dinged the redhead pulled away from you, making quick steps to get to the exit., "Please consider it, I know I don’t deserve to be forgiven, but I'll be waiting up there until eight just in case Y/N.," and before you could even so much as think, let alone respond, she was gone, much like she'd been all month long.

The doors closed as your body didn't move to leave the elevator, instead you slid down the wall of it while tears fell down your cheeks., "Friday, take me back up to my room please.”

As soon as you entered your safe space you fell into the bed, screaming loudly as you thrashed. On the one hand, your heart only beat for that infuriating woman, but on the other hand you never know if it could beat for another if you had no choice but to move on. Except, you no longer found yourself forced to move on, all you’ve ever wanted was waiting on the rooftop, so you’re not sure why you couldn’t move.

The clock beside your bed read 7:45pm when you finally glanced on over at it, both of your offers for the night expired at 8pm, and so you got off the bed, fixed yourself up at the vanity, and once again entered the elevator, shakily telling Friday to take you to the desired floor.

When you made your way to the common room you saw Darcy looking a little hopeless, and it all faded away when she looked up at your face. A bright smile adorned her face now that you’d arrived, but she failed to see your sad gaze., “I’d thought we were going to miss the movie, but I think we’ll still make it if we leave now.,” her hand reached for yours, but when you were hesitant to grab hers she already knew., “Oh.”

“Darcy, I’m so sorry.,” she gently squeezed your hand while smiling at you., “Hey, don’t do that, I knew what I was up against when I asked you out, and I still tried because you’re worth it.,” she pulled you into her arms for a hug., “I’m just happy to know Romanoff finally figured that out, but don’t make it too easy for her either.,” she pulled away, chuckling along with you., “Wouldn’t dream of it.,” you two shared one more squeezing of your hands before she left out the door, and you made your way to the elevators to see about mending the past.

Natasha sat on the decorated floating bed with her head in her hands, the clock having already surpassed eight about fifteen minutes ago, and her body deflated with each minute that went. Pain began to gnaw at her chest once more, and the sobs she desperately tried to fight off came tumbling passed her trembling lips. It wasn’t anyone else’s fault but her own that you chose the likely safer bet of moving on, still she was cursing the gorgeous scientists name as her body shook so violently that the ding of the elevator went completely unnoticed by her.

Though she’s a spy, she failed to see you at all, so she gasped when two hands adorned with silver rings settled over her thighs, looking up with red eyes, and a torn up lip she saw you. Her hands reached out to ensure you were real, and not just her fucked up mind playing tricks on her, and when you settled your warms hands over her frigid ones she knew it was you., “Y-you came? What about Darcy?”

“Darcy’s amazing—truly, and she’s got never breaking my heart on her side.,” you noted the obvious and the woman bowed her head in shame., “But my God Nat, your touch alone ignites something within me that I don’t think I’ll ever be able to find elsewhere.,” you took her hands off your face, maneuvering them until they were on your hips as you moved to straddle the woman on the floating bed.

“You’re like my soulmate or something Natty, I’d never believed in that kind of thing before this, but now I know it’s not only a fairytale.,” your fingers lifted her face up to meet yours, her emeralds glossed over in pain, but still as beautiful as ever as you gazed right into them., “I love you Natasha, with all my heart.,” her lip caught between her teeth to hold back a sob., “More importantly though, I forgive you.”

Natasha couldn’t bare it, your forgiveness was not deserved, but she was incredibly grateful. Her arms were tight as they wrapped around your waist to keep you close, and she began to whisper that same tired phrase., “I love you.,” over and over again. Increasingly afraid that if she didn’t say it, like all the times before, that you’d leave her alone in her deserved misery.

“Don’t say another word.,” you cut her off with your lips slamming to hers while you pushed her into the mattress., “Show me instead…,” Natasha wasted no time as she flipped you over, pressing you into the firm mattress, your reality soon began to blur as you were made to gaze up at the stars. The woman who owned your heart did as told, using her hands she loved you as she always should’ve, your mind slipping away from you as she never slowed down, you began to see beautiful constellations of your very own making as you closed your eyes, and gave Natasha all of you—for good.

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3,063 Words

❤️ Kaitlyn 😳

[lokisprettygirl]

Under his influence (Post Avengers! Loki x female reader)

Read chapter 31 here/ Series Masterlist

Chapter 32

Summary : Every decision you make in life ends in either blessings or repercussions. You found your blessing when you messed with your fate and you were hoping there will be no repercussions.

Warning: 18+, there's brief smut, very brief , HUGE Canon divergence (Just me making shit up) Loki is a chick magnet but are we surprised?, mention of stalking, Reader has deeply rooted insecurities, mention of physical and sexual assault, mention of menstruation, ptsd, self deprecating behaviour, panic attack, soft precious bean loki, polite bean Loki, Dalia, Loki being the best boyfriend

Jane's visit to the tower was postponed for a week but as soon as as she arrived Thor brought her to meet you.

"This is lady y/n, she is Loki's aide and the one I told you about" Jane gasped as Thor said that and she immediately went in for a hug, you smiled as she hugged you, you had missed her alot.

"Y/n, y/n thank you for knocking some sense into him" she said to you quietly but Thor heard her anyway and shook his head.

"Trust me Jane he was losing his mind without you" she smiled as you said that "It's so nice to meet you" you told her and that smile only grew.

"Likewise, will you hang out with us later? My assistant cum friend Darcy is here as well"

Your face fell as she mentioned Darcy, you were just hoping she wouldn't fall for Loki this time around in the first place because you knew how impossible it was to get over him once you have crossed that threshold.

"Sure I'll see you after work, if I'm ever done with it" you chuckled and Jane's eyebrows quirked.

"That bad huh? Loki is being tough to work with?" She asked you so you smiled.

"Well it's not Loki, it's Dalia, his PR agent" She nodded as you said that, you were getting a call from Dalia so you excused yourself and made your way towards her office.

"Bring us coffee" She said as soon as you entered, Loki smiled as he looked at you but you averted your gaze.

"Anything else?" You asked so Dalia glared at you,

"Actually yes, bring one for yourself and join us, I would need your opinion on these uhh photographs" Loki said to you so you nodded.

"How is her opinion going to help us?" Dalia asked him as you left,

"Her advice will benefit my social appearance, a comman person opinion if you will" Loki said to her and Dalia sighed.

"Loki I think you need-" He glared at her as she placed her hand on his shoulder,

"Don't touch me" He warned her so she pulled her hand away,

"I'm just saying that –"

"Shhhhhh Dalia that is enough of your cribbing for the day" he said that to her without even looking at her, he was engrossed in his phone like he always was in her presence.

She had never met someone like him, the more he talked down to her the more she felt attracted to him in a weird way.

As you returned with their drinks Loki stood up and pulled a chair out for you to sit down, Dalia visibly fumed at the gesture.

"Thank you sir i appreciate that" you said to him and he gave you your coffee before he turned the laptop towards you, he stood behind your chair, one of his arms was resting on the chair while the other one was on the desk in front of you, you were able to smell his cologne and it was driving you crazy.

"Will you be so kind as to select the pictures you think will be best for that redundant magazine cover?" He said to you softly so you looked at him and then your gaze averted to Dalia, she was glaring at you but eventually she turned away.

"Sure sir, you look great though. In every picture" he smiled as you complimented him "I'll add the selected ones in a seperate folder" you told him so he moved away and went back to his chair, he had a midgardian button up black shirt on with a loose pair of sweatpants, he shouldn't have looked that attractive wearing something so mismatched, he had no right to be his godly self in the most basic of attire.

"For the party in the evening your designer have selected this blue suit"

Dalia said to him as she showed him a photo on her phone, she was leaning into him and whispering.

"Fine by me" he said but he didn't even look at the photo, you knew she suddenly had hots for him since last week but there was nothing you could have done about it, you told Loki she was fancying him and his first reaction was to laugh and then his solution to avoid this situation was to be mean to her as much as he can be. He didn't understand that it was the reason why she was attracted to him in the first place. That Dalia seemed like a Kinky bitch.

You could hear the sound of thunder raging outside and it wasn't Thor for a change so you went to your room and immediately made your way to the open balcony, it was raining heavily and you just wanted to dip your toes in the rain, it's been weeks since you have been here and not once you had gone out of this tower. You missed your apartment, you couldn't believe how much you missed that little space you had, it was yours and you loved it, the memories you had made with Loki when he first turned up in your apartment always made you feel bittersweet, sometimes you just wanted to get back and relive those moments.

You stood at the edge of the balcony and placed your hands on the railing, the raindrops had drenched you almost immediately. You looked up and closed your eyes to feel the rain on your face but a small gasp escaped your throat as you felt an arm circling around your waist, it was Loki.

"What are you doing here mister?" You chuckled as you placed your head down on his shoulder.

"I was missing you my princess" he mumbled softly so you turned your head to kiss his cheek.

"How are you feeling?" He asked you because he could sense something was bothering you, he had tried to make Dalia back off a little bit but he knew she must be bothering you even more when he wasn't there.

"I'm okay lo, why?"

"I know darling that you miss your home and this isn't the life you wanted –" you cut him off before he could speak further, turning around you wrapped your arms around his neck and smiled.

"I do miss my stupid little apartment and I do wish sometimes that I was there with you, just me and you, but I want the life where I am with you, if it's here then be it, it doesn't matter, you know how grateful I am that you're all mine right?" He smiled as you finished your sentence and cupped your cheeks to kiss you "It would be nice to get out of this tower though" you mumbled so he thought about it.

"We can go out darling, I will figure something out alright?" He remembered that your 30th birthday was right around the corner and he wanted to do something nice for you.

"Yeah?"

"I'll do anything for you, you should know that" you giggled as he booped your nose with his index finger.

"You look good all soaked mister" you said to him as you kissed him.

"That is my line"

He took you inside immediately after that because he didn't want you to get sick, every moment you spent with him was magical, you had never been treated this way by anyone so at times just being around him felt surreal, at times you couldn't believe that love like this existed and somehow you were lucky enough to stumble upon it.

Unfortunately he couldn't have stayed for long and you watched in awe as dried himself using magic and winked before he teleported. In the evening you got ready for Tony's birthday party, that man had a million parties in a week but atleast tonight he had a valid reason, you quickly made your way to Loki's room where he was getting dolled up, you had to be extra careful to not leave things in his room if you ever sneaked in there because he usually got prepped there. You looked at him and he didn't seem stressed in the least bit or even out of place at all, he was a prince, all of this was probably a piece of cake for him.

Your eyes fell upon Dalia and you didn't understand why she was there, she was Tony's PR agent as well but you never saw her clinging onto him the way she did with Loki.

You noticed that Dalia was wearing a dress for a change and not a business suit, she was older than you but she looked good, like a very hot school teacher, and you knew Loki didn't care about the age stuff since he went for you when he could have gone much younger so you weren't completely unthreatened by Dalia. You trusted Loki but how much temptation one single man could ignore you wondered?

"No tie, not doing that darling" He said to his stylist so she took it off and left the top button unbuttoned, the way the petname rolled off his lips bothered you slightly but it was your own jealousy, he addressed everyone that way.

He was otherworldly gorgeous and so fucking polite, you didn't blame people for falling left right and centre for him but you wondered how long you'll be able to take it before you explode someday and claim him as yours publically.

"Do you live in some other world? Because Lord knows that exists now" You heard Dalia's voice so you looked at her confused.

"What?" You asked her

"I have called your name three times, i know he's fucking handsome and you're drooling for him but for god sake listen to me when I'm speaking to you" The whole room went silent as Dalia raised her voice at you, none of them said a word though, except Loki.

"Is there a problem?" Loki asked her and she groaned as she looked at him "There's so much of commotion, your voice perhaps did not reach her " he said to her sternly.

"I don't need excuses for her incompetence Loki" she said to him, you noticed his jaw clenching and before he could snap you interfered

"I'm sorry, did you need something?" You asked her as politely as you could even though all you wanted to do was hit her.

"Give me the list I asked for" she said to you.

"I sent it to you on the mail"

"I need it on paper" you sighed and turned around so you could go to her office and get a print out. As you reached there you quickly used the computer to generate a print out and you were about to grab the paper and leave when you noticed something familiar peeking at you from the drawer of her desk, you didn't want to pry but curiosity killed the cat, you gasped as you opened her drawer and found Loki's handkerchief in there, you could smell his familiar scent even before you had opened the drawer.

"What a creep" you groaned loudly but then you realized that you were stealing his clothes too when he was living with you in your apartment. But that was different, he was yours, you couldn't believe she had his kerchief with her, what was she planning to do with it? Masturbate?

"Gahhhhh" you groaned and placed the piece of fabric back where it was and walked out of her office, on the way up you saw Captain and Bucky entering the elevator so you smiled. You were standing in the middle of the lift so they stood by your either side.

For a few moments it was as awkward as it could have been with those two around.

"How's work Y/n?" Captain asked you so you smiled,

"Good, I think about jumping off the cliff only twice a day" you answered him and then immediately squeezed your eyes but your worries faded as Steve smiled.

"That's how some jobs are unfortunately..hang in there" He said to you so you smiled, both of them were going to the party but you had to go to Loki's room first, however when you reached there the room was dark and empty so you made your way back to the party. You were on your way to the lounge when you bumped into Thor, Jane and Darcy. She was chewing a gum even though she was dressed fancily.

"I'm so nervous" Jane said so you smiled, you felt like the roles had reversed, when you came here the first time Jane was the one who had invited you and she seemed so comfortable here.

"Don't be you'll fit in just right, btw I'm y/n" you put out your hand for Darcy so she shook it.

"Darcy, I'm Jane's assistant, I heard you're Loki's assistant" she said to you so you nodded. As you all reached the lounge your eyes scanned around for the gorgeous love of your life, your precious muffin.

"There is my little brother, let me introduce you both" Thor said as he spotted Loki.

"Holy moly.. Please tell me he's single"

"Shut Up Darcy" Jane quieted Darcy but you couldn't help and curse internally. Women, women fawning all over him and almost all of them were much prettier than you ever could be. Loki would have spanked you for having such thoughts again but he didn't have to know.

Loki smiled as he saw Thor, His lady Jane and his sweet princess approaching him, as soon as he saw you he knew he'd have to take you somewhere reclusive and show you how pretty you looked tonight. However as soon as Darcy came into his eyeline he was slightly affected by her presence, she was a friend, a good friend to him in the previous timeline, there was this one night both of them had spent on the roof of the tower where he was just crying over you all night long and not once she acted as if she was annoyed by it, but he also remembered how she had read too much into his friendship and had developed feelings for him so he was relieved in a way that he had the opportunity to rewrite this journey.

"I'll go give this to Dalia" You excused yourself and Loki nodded, once you were away from them Thor looked at Loki as he spoke

"Lady Dalia seems to be a tough Taskmaster, doesn't she?" he said with a smirk on his face so Loki looked him in the eye.

"I do not wish to use the word that comes to my mind when I think of her and the way she treats y/n, that poor soul is doing her absolute best" Jane smirked as Loki said that so Loki cleared his throat and excused himself.

"Woah you look handsome on screen but in real life the hotness level is raised ten times higher" Darcy said as she followed Loki so he smiled.

"Enjoy the feast Lady Darcy, I'll see you around" he said politely to her, he didn't want to be rude to her or be aloof, he just hoped she'd take a hint and find someone else.

He looked around at the party, thankfully it was Tony's birthday celebration so Dalia was busy with him, now all he had to do was find you once the party gets going and everyone else is seemingly drunk.

He did find you eventually and he saw you making your way out of the lounge so he followed you and he quickly checked to see if anyone was there and if there were any cameras in the range, you were going to the bathroom so he made himself invisible and followed behind you.

As you opened the bathroom door and tried to close it you noticed something stopping it from closing and you knew what it was or who it was. You smiled as the door finally closed and in an instant you were scooped in his arms and he made you sit down on the sink as he kissed you feverishly, he finally made himself visible and you couldn't have been happier.

"Pretty little bird has no time to spare for me does she?" You smiled as he said before he placed his head between the crook of your neck and kissed the bare skin.

"I'm not the one to blame here…ohhhh" you said but your words ended in a gasp as he wrapped your legs around his waist, he rode your dress up and lowered your underwear down slowly before he placed them in the pocket of his suit

"Did you need to use the facilities?" He asked you softly as he placed his fingers on your chin to make you look at him.

"No I just needed to get away from Dalia" you told him honestly

"I know Princess, one of these days the evil that is rooted in me would flare and snap her neck" he whispered in your ear and you wanted to tell him that there wasn't one single evil bone in his body but the way he slid his cock inside your wet cunt had shut you up real good.

You cupped his cheeks and kissed him as he maintained a slow rhythm of his hips thrusting in and out of you,

"I shouldn't encourage you when you are saying stuff like that" he chuckled and his hand gripped a chunk of your hair, he pulled your head back and kissed down from your neck.

"I'm sorry princess, I wish I was able to protect you better than this" you noticed the sadness in his voice so you grabbed a hold of his cheeks and made him look at you

"Don't say that, you're doing everything you can, besides I'm a big girl and I can take care of myself at work okay?"

"Yess I am sorry..I abhor watching her torment you this way"

"Well atleast I'm getting paid" you smiled as you whispered "And I get to be here with you lo, it's a miracle" you kissed him again to shut those thoughts in his head, he had enough problems of his own that came with being an Avenger, you knew what you were doing and what you were getting into when you took this job, you could have gone back but you knew being away from him would have cut you much deeper than working for Satan Dalia herself could ever.

You didn't have much time so he quickened his pace until you both exploded in unison, you didn't know how it was possible that everytime he fucked you, you only grew closer and closer to him, not just physically or emotionally, but spiritually.

As he calmed down he looked at you as you leaned against the sink while you attempted to catch your breath, a truly gorgeous sight, the most ethereal, your heavy breaths always made his cold blood warm.

"Norns you are beautiful my darling, I feel like I don't tell you that enough" your eyes teared up as he said that.

"You do" you whispered as you kissed his forehead, after cleaning you up he took your underwear out of his coat.

"I am tempted to keep this instead" you chuckled as he said that, as tempting as it seemed you didn't want to go back to the party with no underwear, especially with Loki around, the risk of being wet was always severe. He pulled the underwear up your legs slowly and his hands went beneath your hips as he lifted you off the sink and pulled you closer to kiss you as deeply as he could.

"This colour you have on will look so good on your natural skin" you mumbled softly as your fingers curled around his neck so he leaned into you to kiss you. He always adored the way you never failed to mention his jotun form, he knew that you wanted him to believe that you loved all of his sides so the effort was always extra special.

"I love you and I'm going to miss you darling, it's.. been days…fucking days since I have slept being held in your arms" he mumbled as he placed his head down on your chest, his voice had a deep rumble to it, a mix of agitation and sadness combined, you stroked his hair slowly as you sighed. It has been days, the last few days he had been on a mission and tonight, well you didn't think you'll get to cuddle at all with him. He had an early morning interview with a news channel so you both had to be up at 3 am. That if you will get any sleep at all.

"Shhh it's okay baby..it's okay.. I love you" you cooed in his ears and then you kissed him to calm down those worries.

Once you both returned to the party you joined Jane and kept her company, talking with her always felt easy and you were glad the friendship was beginning to bloom again.

You were looking around and you couldn't help but think about that one thing The Loki from the future had said to you, he said that he would have found you eventually but that's what bothered you, you didn't wait for fate to bring you two together again, you took the matter in your hands and you often wondered if that decision was going to cause trouble. You hoped not.

You really were hoping for nothing to go wrong but your fear solidified when you received a call from your mom telling you that Mrs Geller had gotten into a freak accident.

An event that had never happened in the previous timeline. You couldn't help but wonder if she was battling between the life and death because of you. Did the accident occur because you had decided to change your fate?

😥😥😥😥😥😥😥😥😥😥😥😥😥

Taglist

@annoyingsweetsstranger @mcufan72 @nixymarvelkins @stupidthoughtsinwriting @fictive-sl0th @eleniblue @violethaze @anukulee @ladymischief11 @12-pm-510 @wolfsmom1 @whylokiissocute @pics-and-fanfics @daddylokisqueen @olivertwistrabbit @blog-the-lilly @prettylittlepluviophile @vanilla-daydreaming @somewiseguy @yaaamadaa-blog @dragonmurray @elthreetimes @gruftiela @thenotoriouserg @greep215 @yallgotkik @tactac286 @janineb86 @sflame15-blog @nyxlaufeyson @lokidokieokie @purplekitten30 @sunnixart @nikkig496-blog @frozenhuntress67 @qardasngan @rosecentury @lokiswife-dark-fox-queen @hrefna-the-raven @jennyggggrrr

@cosniffee

[thehobbem]

Jane Eyre - Part II

DKZJFBDGHSJAKSJD THIS IS THE WORST MARRIAGE PROPOSAL IN LITERARY HISTORY

*clears throat*

A few days ago I wrote this post about my first thoughts on Jane Eyre. Since people wanted to see my reactions to further events, here I am.

I gotta say: you were all holding out on me, because not only does Jane Eyre have a man more ridiculous than Darcy (by a CLEAR mile), but it also has a clergyman more insufferable than Edmund Bertram, which??? should not be possible???

Okay, so:

I was hoping Rochester would give up on the wedding and confess to Jane about his wife in the attic, but nope! And he would've gotten away with it, too, if it weren't for those meddling solicitor & brother-in-law. Like. This man is so idiotic, and felt so unbelievably sorry for himself, that he said with his full chest "yeah, bigamy is the solution! :D".

...Very uncomfortable how the narrative attributed the lowest possible vices to Bertha Rochester, while calling her "the creole". The vices weren't outright attributed to her being of mixed ancestry, but it felt like that was what was meant. All very uncomfortable. As uncomfortable as when the landed gentry wanted to visit a Romani encampment to see the Romani people (while, ofc, using the g-slur) as if they were animals in a circus? Hmmm, yeah, tough call!

(Look. I'm not gonna go around publicly denouncing books from past centuries for not being politically correct, bc that is an idiotic way to relate to literature from the past. Society was what it was, and not even the authors we admire so much were above that most of the time. But I can, and will!, look at certain things and go "wow, this aged like fucking milk". I think that's fair.)

AND THEN

Rochester, who can't possibly be thinking straight, proposes that Jane become his mistress!!!! Edward Fairfax Rochester, have you ever even MET Jane Eyre?? Do you know her but at all????

And he's like "me, me, me, what's to become of me, am I to be denied love, doesn't the world feel sorry for ME" and I nearly spit on my kindle, I was so mad XD How is this man, pushing fucking FORTY, putting on this preposterous show and leaving this 18-year-old girl to comfort him?????

(To bring up the sad sack that is Edmund Bertram again: it reminded me when Edmund wrote to Fanny: Maria has brought ruin to their name, Tom has nearly died, everyone is in distress, and he's like "But Fanny. Think of ME!!!" ugh)

But yes, honestly, Rochester's not evil, but he's so. goddamn. stupid. And draMATIC. I love him, he's a riot.

...I do not love how he kept blaming others for him marrying Bertha. Like. Sir. You were an adult and you married her of your own volition. "My father" this, and "her family didn't tell me" that, but YOU looked at her, thought she was gorgeous, and agreed to marry her. So fuck you. Hold yourself accountable, for a change. You man child.

So yeah, Jane runs away, which is totally the right decision, and without any money, which is totally the wrong decision, and ends up eating burned porridge again, and I'm like. If I had a nickel for every time Jane Eyre had to eat burned porridge while starving, I'd have two nickels. Which isn't a lot, but it's weird that it happened twice.

Jane is then saved by the Rivers siblings: Mary and Diana Rivers, who are absolutely precious, and St. John Rivers, who is absolutely

UNBEARABLE OH MY GOD WHY DIDN'T ANYONE TELL ME

Me, every time St. John appeared on the page:

Hey. Charlotte? Charlotte. Was this a ploy? Did you bring St. John into the story to have us like Rochester more? Is St. John your way of going "Yeah, I know, Rochester is deranged, and what he wanted to do was morally and legally and spiritually wrong, but look at how boring righteous people can be!"? Was it? If so, it FUCKING WORKED, BRING EDWARD ROCHESTER BACK RIGHT NOW.

*rubs temples*

Also??? aekjsdzcbvsdjfsk I can't: St. John: "I found you employment." Jane: "Really? Which is it?" St. John: rambles on about the will of God or something, for entire paragraphs. Jane, who patiently waited for him to finish: "So? The job?" St. John: "Right! I don't know if you're gonna like it, but" rambles on again about the will of God or perseverance or something, for entire paragraphs. Jane: "Right. And the job?"

SIR FOR THE LOVE OF GOD PLEASE TELL US WHAT THE FUCKING JOB IS

THIS IS LIKE MR. BROCKLEHURST ALL OVER AGAIN

...Oh. Oh.

That's the point.

St. John really is Brocklehurst again, I love it: both love to talk about how Christian they are, and how it's important to lead a life of humility, etc -- the difference being, ofc, that St. John is not a hypocrite, fat capitalist pig, he's actually leading by (insufferable) example. And they both make Jane feel bad about her true self, just in opposite ways.

And St. John wants to be a missionary, because of course this insufferable man wants to be a missionary and impose his views on nice people who are just living their fucking lives. And he goes on and on about... idk, bringing light to the unenlightened and saving pagans or whatever, and it's SO pedantic, and it's SO patronizing, and it's SO... UGH.

I cannot believe Jane gave this man a quarter of her entire fortune.

AND THEN

HE MAKES THE WORST MARRIAGE PROPOSAL IN THE ENTIRE ENGLISH LITERATURE

No, I have not read the entirety of English literature, but oh boy am I fully confident in my statement. This is the WORST. Like. Mr. Collins' proposal is a shining beacon of unbridled love and romance next to THIS.

Me, reading his proposal:

"Jane, you weren't made for love, you were made for labour. You were made to be a missionary's wife" QEIARKSHV\CZNB;SAEKFJSDVC I'M GONNA GOUGE MY EYES OUT WITH A SPOON

At least Jane, too, was full aware of the insult XD Love that when she told Diana of the proposal, she repeated those exact words, and Diana was like "Girl, what??? Nu-uh!!!".

But it's all great. She refuses him, and he gets all prickly and assholish about it in the most holier-than-thou way possible, I hate him, but then she hears Rochester's voice in the wind crying out for her, and she hurries back to Thornfield. Sure, we've all been there.

Then we find out karma does exist and is the proverbial bitch: Rochester lost an eye, all of his eyesight, a hand, and his manor. Wow.

And then???? They have the CUTEST reunion ever???? And I was so happy for him???? For them??? Charlotte 😭😭😭👌👌👌

Rochester being all jealous of St. John, and I'm like "no, you're safe, he's the worst, he told Jane she wasn't made for love".

He also holds himself accountable at long last (hard not to, after all that), and he thought Jane was deeeeeeaaaad, and he was inconsolable and I'm a MESS

So all is good in the end: they marry -- LEGALLY! :D -- and have a child, and he recovers his eyesight on the eye he still has, and the Rivers siblings marry and are happy, and the book ends... with a letter from St. John saying he's dying??? WHAT

I love all of it. Specially St. John dying. A few stray observations:

The foreshadowing of future events is very well-planted, nicely done, Charlotte. That horse chestnut tree being split in half by lightning after Rochester proposes marriage to Jane? 👌👌👌👌👌 If I ever saw an omen!

And Jane. So smart, so good, so compassionate, so horny on main, so witty, so brave. May God keep St. John Rivers far away from her forever and ever.

LOVE how Jane begins with an aunt (who knows her and hates her) and 3 cousins (a John who torments her trying to diminish her, and two sisters who don't care if she's alive or not) and ends up having an uncle (who doesn't know her but loves her) and 3 cousins (a John who torments her trying to "elevate" her and two sisters who love her and save her life). The story is obviously very cyclical, and I enjoyed that a lot.

Don't know if I love or hate the fact that Charlotte slapped a "St." in front of the name of the John who wants to be a missionary and is the opposite of the first John XD (Yes, I know St. John is a real name, I've seen it many times before, but it's a bit on the nose here!)

...I wonder if Miss Ingram ever found out that Rochester wanted to marry the governess. I would've paid Charlotte Brontë good money to write THAT scene.

And last but not least: Pilot is the goodest boy in the whole wide world.

[maoam]

I looked up sns naruto and found this 🤢

https://at.tumblr.com/enby-axels/703309997140066304/vcbr9thsnrer

'Otp: thank you' 🤣

There's so much to unpack here. Kishimoto showed over and over again that Sakura does not care about Sasuke as a person nor what he wants.

Sakura making Sasuke's revenge about her and Sasuke noticing it.

2. Sakura noticing her tactics don't work and doing a full 180 on her arguments, because Sasuke's well-being isn't what's important to her, but that Sasuke is with her. She's being totally irrational here.

So, Sakura did not care what Sasuke wanted or what was good for him at this point of the story.

3. Instead of bothering to find out WHY Sasuke was suddenly acting the way he was, she comes up with this brilliant plan /sarcasm/ where she lies to Naruto that she likes him to get him to stop chasing Sasuke, drugs her comrades and leaves them unconscious in the forest, and tries to stab Sasuke with a poisoned kunai. Twice.

4. She heard "the truth about Itachi" and heard Sasuke yelling about how Konoha is responsible for his misery but she never once bothered to ask anyone present what was that all about. Because her main concern was always just to get into Sasuke's pants. That's her defining character trait, and that's how she is written. And you guys think she would be revolutionary hahaha.

5. Sasuke gave a speech on how he wants CHANGE and despite witnessing all this Sakura decided to start screaming how much she loves him and if he stays with her things can go back to the way they were! Literally where do you see this girl care about what Sasuke wants? Even the most simple stuff she doesn't understand. It's spelled out to her and she doesn't listen.

6. Despite Sasuke wanting to travel alone and think about things, Sakura chased after him because she was thirsty. And no amount of either rude or polite rejections will stop her.

7. Sasuke made it very clear it's only Naruto he cares about deeply. Sakura won't affect his loneliness.

You can make all headcanons you want how Sasuke would change his opinion of Sakura but Kishimoto wrote him to have a negative opinion of her in the end, and he wrote Sakura as a shallow and selfish person. Sasuke gave her a chance in part 1, but noticed she won't change from her shallow ways. That's why the "you're annoying" keeps coming. Because she is annoying and ignorant and doesn't care what Sasuke tells her. Sasuke is shown to be perceptive countless times in the story, and his judgement of Sakura was correct as well.

P.S. Please don't compare Darcy and Sakura. That's an insult to Darcy and Jane Austen lol.

[darlenicy]

I got tagged by @rosie-love98 on this:

Tag 9 People you want to get to know better

Thank you and sorry, that it took me so long!

3 ships:

Okay, since I’m tagged on this tumblr account I’ll first go with WINX of course.

1. Driven (Darcy x Riven - Winx Club)

I’ll say it over and over again – they’re perfect. THE POTENTIAL: OMG: If Rainbow had be braver and didn’t focus SO much on Bloom, they could’ve added such an angsty storyline. They build the grounding but never made it to detail and that’s a shame. I may repeat myself, but Darcy was the first one to listen to Riven. To really listen and maybe even the first person after a long time to actually care for him. Of course, she is beautiful and she used that beauty to enchant him but what mattered in the end was that Riven finally found someone who was really interested in him. Someone who saw his ambition and talent. Someone who didn’t see the sparkly outside of perfect Sky and Brandon but who saw this man, who I bet went trough a lot to achieve the right to study at Red Fountain. Finally, someone interested in the one who trained hard to be where was and who wasn’t privileged like other people. Another thing I love about them is the trust and faith Riven had in Darcy who.. in the end destroyed that YES THANKS RAINBOW.  I mean, he never questioned her even though he knew that the Trix’ plans were evil. He did not care about that. Only for her. The betrayal must have been hard. But what about Darcy? How did she feel? Well, we never saw it but regarding her character she might be an overthinker who thinks everything through, who is afraid to show her true self. Darcy seems to be the one who is afraid of losing control and of being betrayed herself. So better destroy than get destroyed? I’m sure she opened up to Riven to some extend and got caught by her own fear of losing control and then overreacted. Maybe. Who know. But the thing is that their end came completely out of the nowhere and I wished the writers had focused a bit more on that instrad of making a cut so that another fairy had a love interest by the end of season 1. It also should have been more focus on their relationship in the following seasons. (I miss the longing stares omg. We could have so much angsty drama!) I think the end of the relationship was not easy for both of them. Darcy lost everything at the end of season 1 and I’m sure she questioned herself a lot after it. Like, what would have happened if etc. And Riven, even more broken than before. What did he think? It’s no secret, that most characters in this show need therapy but these two? Couple therapy maybe lol (now this was long, but that’s when I talk about ships haha)

2. Brella (Brandon and Stella - Winx Club)

I don’t really talk about the fairies here, but I love Brella. They are such a healthy and dynamic couple. Even as a kid I noticed how harmonic and devoted. I loved, that they got so much attention in the show and that they were the harmonic couple and not Sky and Bloom. They had the storyline in s1 I which Brandon disguised as Prince Sky and lied to her. He was afraid, that Stella would only like him as a prince. And yes, Stella might look superficial at first glance but in fact she is not. And I think she showed a lot of strength in forgiving Brandon who lied to her for a long time. She made no big deal of it even though she is a princess who could have easily married or dated a prince. But she chose Brandon. Then there is the Downland arc at the beginning of season 2 and it wouldn’t have worked with another couple. As I said, they are devoted to each other. Stella fkn jumped after him into that abyss without a second thought? Luckily they survived but then Amentia shows up and Stella almost dies because there is no sunlight in Downland. So to save her life, Brandon agrees to marry Amentia who then agrees to let Stella go. I could fangirl over this arc a lot but I won’t because it already gets too long here. Then s3 in which Stella thinks that it might be just her beauty which Brandon loves (which doesn’t make sense after what they went through) but I think the problem Stella has, is that she was always judged by her looks. She was raised to be a perfect princess and let’s face it, before she met Bloom and the Winx, she had no real friends. However back to the show, Brandon knew that Stella was transformed into that Monster but he did not care. Of course not. He was trying to help her no matter what, just to see her happy again. I won’t focus on the later seasons, because they might still have their cute moments there but after all there was too much beef going on between all the couples and I don’t consider these superficial seasons as canon so I’ll stop here. But Brella is chef’s kiss. The best Winx couple followed by Tecna and Timmy and no one can convince me otherwise.

3. Ethel Hallow x Nick Hobbes - Weirdsister College (Do they have a shipping name?)

Since it was rosie, who tagged me I think I have to take a ship which has nothing to do with Winx but which goes more in the direction of Harry Potter and The Worst Witch. And that is an easy one: Ethel Hallow x Nick Hobbes. OMG the potential, the POTENTIAL! Same as driven, they have so much unused potential even though they were on the best way to build an angsty couple with trust issues and all the drama my fangirl heart needs. I love how Nick noticed right away, that Ethel resembled him. She always played the nice and hardworking students but we all know that she was a devious bitch who used every opportunity to make Mildred look bad. And from her perspective, she did nothing wrong. It was always Mildred who stole the show by breaking the rules and being at school but was in the end the good girl who was appreciated. She always played by the rules (yeah not always but she tried her best) and was ambitious and just wanted to be the number one student, yet who interfered? Always Mildred. It’s no wonder she tried everything to get rid of her. Ethel just wanted a happy school life without interruptions. So she wasn’t innocent at all and Nick knew that. In the first episode of Weirdsister College, he immediately checked that he AND Ethel would not have a chance of passing the all-seeing-eye. He tricked Mildred so that she helped him and used that for him and Ethel to pass the ceremony. He’s the typical bad boy who took advantage of Mildred’s talent and gosh, I wished they hadn’t followed this weird storyline he has with Mildred. Because everything was already there with Ehtel: Both students who tried their best to become the top of the class, both power-driven and both unsure in the end. They have so much in common. And Ethel is, after all, the good girl who fell for the bad boy and she KNOWS that he’s doubtful. She does not trust him but is still fascinated by him. And I just love that trope, okay? Ehtel also gives me hardcore rl Darcy vibes and not, it’s not just because they have the same voice actress I Germany. They’re the dark edgy couple I live for. There could have been done so much if they gave us a second season…..It looked like they were giving up on the Mildred/Nick storyline by episode 9 which was again one big flirt of Ethel and Nick. (The potential!) This is why I hate the way they went on the last episode where it’s like “It’s only you who can save him, Mildred” bullshit. I���m doomed for loving couples the writers seem to hate. I could write an essay about them and I probably will on @yaviae somewhen.

Look at them! Ethel's side eye <3

Last song:

Seventeen by Marina

Last Movie:

Crimson Peak (And again I love the doomed couple: Lucille and Thomas, omg my loves)

Currently reading:

Schneewittchens dunkler Kuss (Snow White’s dark Kiss) by Stefanie Lasthaus

Currently watching:

World of Winx season 1

Currently drinking:

Just finished my tea (fennel <3)

Currently craving:

Inspiration! It’s Sunday and that means it’s my ff write day but I haven’t written anything. I’m so tired this weekend..

And I tag: @wtfastaroth @witch-cauany @aurora-of-the-fairies @cerisia76 @stellasolaris @alex-cold17 @no-white-dress @d-arcyky and of course @evdizav

[veliseraptor]

July/August/September Reading Recap

look, it's been a wild time. that's all I'm going to say about it. but now back on the reading recap train and I'm just going to do all of these three months in one go because otherwise I really never will catch up (also read not very much for me in all of these months, individually)

Revolting Prostitutes: The Fight for Sex Worker's Rights by Molly Smith & Juno Mac. I read a lot of books over the last few months that I was kind of "meh" about, but this wasn't one of them. An incredibly nuanced, in-depth and very persuasive analysis of the history and present of sex worker labor rights - neither skewing too far into "sex work is liberatory" nor (obviously) the opposite. The authors consistently approached the subject positing (accurately) that sex work is first and foremost work, and should be approached as such in terms of the goals and needs of rights for sex workers. I already bought into the overall premise of this book, but it still remained compelling and educational for me to read, and I'm going to be recommending it to a lot of people who may be generally liberally-minded but have doubts or hesitations about decriminalization as a strategy that ultimately serves the best interests not just of sex workers but of society at large.

Bloodlands: Europe Between Hitler and Stalin by Timothy Snyder. This was a brutal book to read and I'm glad I read it. I like Timothy Snyder as a historian generally (I've read two of his other books before this one), and I learned a great deal here in particular about Stalin's policies, both in Ukraine and during the war. Some of the ground treaded in this book was familiar to a certain extent from Black Earth, but dug into more and in more depth, particularly prior to World War II itself (i.e. the Holodomor and other associated policies in the Soviet Union). I found the closing parts of the book about the politics of forgetting particularly compelling. Not a casual recommendation but a recommendation nonetheless if you're interested in history and up for the rough ride.

Witch King by Martha Wells. I was...not disappointed by this book, exactly, but a little underwhelmed. I wanted to like it much more than I did. Oddly, while I'm completely in favor of self-contained stories that close in one book, and I definitely liked Kai as a character quite a bit, the whole thing felt sort of rushed, particularly at the end. Everything was tied up a little too neatly, too quickly, for my taste, and in general some of the worldbuilding felt underdeveloped rather than (as I think was probably the intent) intentionally left underexplored in text. All in all, I had high hopes for this one that weren't quite met.

Where the Jews Aren't: The Sad and Absurd Story of Birobidzhan, Russia's Jewish Autonomous Region by Masha Gessen. I love Masha Gessen as a historian and writer and this was a short but intriguing book about an episode of history I knew next to nothing about - namely exactly what the title says on the tin. I'd recommend to anyone who has even a little interest in Jewish history in the Soviet Union in particular, though this one didn't blow me away quite as much as The Future Is History did (but that's a high bar).

From Below by Darcy Coates. Darcy Coates is rapidly becoming a favorite horror writer despite the fact that this is only the second book of hers that I've read. She does scary really, really well and this is some top notch ocean horror. Definitely a book that propelled me through all the way to the end and left me with some truly appalling (affectionate) mental images. Good shit, thanks for the rec @bereft-of-frogs (I believe).

Uncanny Valley by Anna Wiener. The conceit of not naming, just describing the tech companies under consideration in this memoir got a little tired after a while; this was an interesting book but probably would've been more compelling when it came out, before most of what it's exploring was common knowledge. But maybe that's partly because I'm just not really a memoir gal.

The Luminous Dead by Caitlin Starling. Another good horror novel, though I found the ending personally a little bit meh. But I'm really picky about my horror endings, so don't hold that against it. Caving horror is up there with ocean horror as far as subgenres I'm into, and this one did a great job with it. A good blend of visceral horror and psychological horror, though the descriptions of the caving suit were honestly possibly the worst part of it for me.

The Queen's Price by Anne Bishop. As usual the pleasure of reading Anne Bishop is about revisiting my old faves - it's like re-encountering old friends, which was what led me back to rereading the original series. I also did appreciate the rehabilitation of Saetien in this book, who took a beating in the last one that didn't feel altogether fair. I do not, however, know that I can forgive what it did to Wilhelmina Benedict my beloved, whose relationship to Jaenelle was and is very important to me. I don't accept this slander and am choosing to ignore it.

Imagined Life: A Speculative Scientific Journey Among the Exoplanets in Search of Intellgient Aliens, Ice Creatures, and Supergravity Animals by James Trefil & Michael Summers. It was fine and that's honestly about all I have to say about it. Wouldn't recommend it to anyone else.

Hex Wives by Ben Blacker. A fun little detour into a graphic novel about witches-brainwashed-into-suburban-wives that wasn't, ultimately, very good, though I did enjoy the lesbian immortal witches and the revenge fantasy of it all.

Monstress: vols. 1-4 by Marjorie Liu and Sana Takeda. I forgot how fucking good this series is. Reading it all together in trade form, rather than separated out month by month and issue by issue, only makes that even clearer. The way that Marjorie Liu explores monstrosity and outsiderness, the mingled brutality and tenderness of it all...Marjorie Liu is one of my favorite comics writers for a reason and you can feel her passion for this story.

The Black Jewels Trilogy by Anne Bishop. I regret to inform everyone that I still love this series and I probably will not be over it any time soon. I don't know. Sometimes a series that may objectively be not very good just digs into you as an impressionable teenager and then lives inside you in a very particular way forever, and I guess that's what happened here. The second book remains my favorite for the way it's focused on the coven and Lucivar (and their relationships with Jaenelle), which remains my favorite part of this series. I can't in good conscience necessarily recommend it. But I do love the damn thing.

Heaven Official's Blessing: vol. 7 by Mo Xiang Tong Xiu. Book 5 isn't my favorite section of TGCF, and this part of Book 5 is probably one of the sections I'm least interested in, with the exception of "deal with it yourself" which never fails to knock me out of the fucking park. It is just very important to me. But still, this book remains beloved of me and it's a treat to read regardless (for the fourth time, or whatever it is).

Qiang Jin Jiu by Tang Jiuqing. I keep describing this one as a classical military/political epic with a sprinkling of danmei and I think that's accurate. And that's what I love about it. Dizzyingly complex sometimes, with a large cast of characters and more conspiracies among them than you can shake a stick at, this is a delightful work of historical fiction with bonus gay protagonists, and I actually kind of love that the romance spends a lot of time taking back seat to the political drama. Also side f/f ship and Qi Zhuyin is amazing. Shen Zechuan is so unhinged but in a way it takes you a minute to notice and I love it.

The Pope at War: The Secret History of Pius XII, Mussolini, and Hitler by David Kertzer. This book was deeply infuriating, but in the way it was meant to be, in that it's all about the painful inaction of Pope Pius XII during World War II, and not just that but actively collaborating with both fascist governments in an effort to protect the church. I didn't find it very compellingly written - kind of a drag, if I'm honest - but boy did it make me very mad. The dedication to saving Christian/converted Jews while completely ignoring and doing nothing about the wider persecution was particularly choice.

Tangled Webs by Anne Bishop. Reread; not as good as the main trilogy, in my opinion, though has some fun stuff with Lucivar in particular. Probably suffers for me in that Surreal has never been my favorite, though she doesn't annoy me as much as she used to.

Thousand Autumns: vol. 2 by Meng Xi Shi. My main concern when it comes to this book so far is that it keeps promising me bad-wrong sex and I don't think it's going to give me bad-wrong sex. Or at least bad-wrong kissing, or something. The relationship between Shen Qiao and Yan Wushi is, at this point, a delightful trainwreck, though the larger plot of this book as a whole hasn't really grabbed me. I'm enjoying the read but it's not thus far a book I'd come back and reread later.

Underland: A Deep Time Journey by Robert Macfarlane. More personal story than the science that I was hoping for; it was still interesting, but in my opinion felt a little overwritten in places and definitely suffered in my estimation just for being not quite the right genre for what I was looking for. It was interesting, though, and still delved into some neat stuff along the way; I just didn't need it filtered so much through "one-guy's-journey" as it felt like it was. In general it's a delicate balance for me with books like this (about a writer digging into a subject); if the writer is too present then I start to get impatient, which is probably missing the point.

I'm trying to make October a month of spooky ready (or at least related-to-spooky reading) though we'll see if that continues or if I get distracted.

Reading The Earth Is Weeping might count as horror, anyway, in that it is almost certain to be very upsetting. Also on my shelf from the library are The Language of the Night by Ursula K. Le Guin and Ariadne by Jennifer Saint (whose Electra I read and didn't hate, even liked a little bit). I'm sitting on The Hollow Kind by Andy Davidson and The Death of Jane Lawrence by Caitlin Starling as two horror novels that have been on my shelves for a bit. We'll see what happens.

[midnightmayhem13]

I love your hcs SO much the thought of Darcy sitting in reader’s lap 😭😭 it’s got me kicking my feet, blushing and I was wondering what ts songs do you think the marvel ladies would consider ‘their songs’ with reader?

t-swizzle songs❕

i love this sm ty for suggesting it🩶😍

carol danvers

delicate

carol loves this song in general. and being a badass, confident women, a lot of men, specifically, don't like her. but you do. you love her and she can feel it. and even through her confident facade she's a little insecure. when she flirts or compliments she can't help but worry that shes doing too much or that she's wasting your time by annoying you. she loves you so much and she's thankful you love her through all the bad things people say, her mistakes, and how you calm her insecurities. she wants to move fast because in your line of work there's no time to waste because you or her could be dead the next day. and she won't waste or take a single chance with you.

sharon carter

false god

this song is so hot. but sharon loves to be intimate with you while listening. and any time she listens to it, her head floods with you. loving sharon is risky, but so worth it. if she's seen with you both of you are put in danger. but even if you were like dumb teenagers in love, sneaking around and making out it's all worth it. she'll worship your body and your love. even if you get into arguments you can always work it out because of how strong your love is. everyone know how strong it is too. you'll risk your life for the other. everything is okay as long as you two are together.

darcy lewis

the lakes

now now she is definitely a cruel summer girlie but she just so romantic. she loves to dance, or attempt to dance, to this song. she feels like with you, everything's okay. you protect her from the wrong. she'll always want to be with you. if she wants to go or try something new she needs to have you. never without you. if at any point work or life gets too hard it'll feel as though it's you two against the world, but she's okay with that. your love grounds her and brings out a happiness she can't even being to explain. even if she's not the most poetic girl she swoons you with sweet, gentle words. in your arms her heart is safe.

nebula

peace

nebula would stiffly ask to listen to your music with you, and she def loved folklore. nebulas never felt peace in her life, until she met you. your love is a dream to her. she could have never guessed that you or her would love the other. you're an amazing person and she's a 'piece of metal'. everyone loves you and your smile could brighten up a room. she doesn't think you deserve the struggle she is. but she loves you so dearly. she'd do anything and everything for you. all she wants to do is show you how much she really loves you but she just can't. luckily your patient enough and you'll know she means well.

maria hill

willow

you got maria into tay. she heard you listening to her often, now any taylor song reminds her of you. but maria hasn't been the friendliest to people. she's trained to keep a straight face and always remain professional. but you, you went out of your way to get to know the real her. she never would have known you were head over heals in love with her. for you she'd do anything. it doesn't matter what it is as long as she ends up with you. you're like a miracle to her. before you all she had known was work and stress, but when you can into her life you showed her love. the one she deserves. you center her and she'll never love anything more than you.

kate bishop

style

you two are young and in loveeee. ever since kate met you she can't stop thinking about you. now since your hers she wants to spend all her time with you. she loves driving around a blasting this song. it's a favorite because you two don't go out of style. you got that tight skirt and she's drooling over you. you two are obsessed with each other. even after a fight or too much time apart you two are always able to pick up where you left off. at the end of the day you two just want to go home hand in hand.

a/n hiii hope it was kinda good🩶 bye bye be gay and listen to tay❕🩶

[bethanydelleman]

Estimated Sexual Abilities of Austen Men

In no particular order within tier

Edits added in blue based on your reblogs and careful consideration

Top Tier:

Mr. Mainwaring: to have the near undying loyalty of the exceedingly selfish Lady Susan, this man must be a sex god

Henry Crawford: he knows he’s not handsome, he wants women to love him, he'd put in the work. Also one of the only men to be rated by a woman who has had sex before.

Henry Tilney: he cares about things women like, high emotional intelligence, and extremely kind.

Frederick Wentworth: passion and experience (I imagine), also has high emotional intelligence when he’s not being a dufus.

Colonel Brandon: passionate, thinks about other people’s feelings a lot, self-sacrificial

John Knightley: I think there’s a good reason that they keep banging out those kids

Admiral Croft: I cannot believe I left him off, obviously amazing in bed because he respects his wife as his equal and is very fun. You are telling me they spend all their time together and don't have amazing sex? No freaking way!

Good Tier:

William Price: athletic, cares about his sister a lot (good sign), and gives good presents. He’s only nineteen in the story which is why he has room to improve.

Captain Harville: Obviously

Mr. Morland: dude isn’t even on page, but in my head Mrs. Morland enjoyed making all ten of those children.

Colonel Fitzwilliam: I think he’d be good, but not awesome. He'll probably be wasted on a mercenary marriage.

Charles Bingley: I get the feeling he’d be on a race to the end, and maybe not the best communicator at first. Will improve.

Mr. Gardiner: Just because he’s awesome and seems to respect women

Captain Benwick: poetry and passion!

Robert Martin: seems like a pretty romantic guy, also works on a farm so probably athletic.

John Willoughby: Mostly because of experience, but he is also pretty passionate. He’s also super hot, Miss Grey knew what she was getting into. But this guy can only go downhill from here.

Reginald De Courcy: He’s a sweetheart, an occasionally dumb sweetheart

Mr. Bennet: Is he lazy in most domains of life? Yes. But Mrs. Bennet wasn’t just trying for that heir, I’m telling you folks. Maybe he's just trying to make her unable to talk 😉

George Knightley: Promoted to good tier, I do think he's very caring, but he also is always sure HE is right, which may be a problem.

John Yates: Maybe not the most selfless person, but he's got passion and he does love his wife. Probably very into roleplay.

Mediocre but can improve tier:

Fitzwilliam Darcy: he’s a bit stiff... I think it might take some time for him to get good at it (demoted to this tier because he will need time to improve)

Frank Churchill: He’s got passion, but he’s so darn selfish and doesn’t seem to send that much time thinking about Jane’s feelings

Edward Ferrars: I just see him being a nervous wreak the first few times, it’ll get better (Note: I think Lucy is way too smart to have had sex without a wedding date)

James Morland: Dude, I’m just disappointed with you in general. Being led by lust, not protecting your sister. I hope you grow a lot before you try to get engaged again.

Charles Musgrove: could be good, but Mary never seems to appreciate the effort he puts in so he kind of gave up

Tom Bertram: Selfish, never has to try for anything, but he did reform so maybe he can get better here too.

Edmund Bertram: Repressed and selfish. He needs to actually start listening to what women say if he’s going to improve and there is a whole book of him doing exactly the opposite...

Mr. Elton: selfish, full of himself, and low emotional intelligence, however, I think he does love his wife so he is willing to put in some effort for her.

Just bad:

James Rushworth: Maria was not impressed at all, despite how much “taller” he was

Captain Tilney: riding on good looks and money, selfish

John Thorpe: Selfish and he never shuts up. I have trouble imaging him getting a woman to sleep with him without paying her.

George Wickham: selfish and good looking, he’s not doing any work. He thinks you should be honoured to sleep with him.

Robert Ferrars: selfish and not even good looking. There is nothing here. Lucy did not win people.

Mr. Woodhouse: I can’t even imagine, if he didn’t have children I’d say he was a virgin

Mr. Collins: The woman he is trying to please is not his wife.

Mr. Elliot: cruel to his first wife and not even handsome!

Sir Walter Elliot: I don’t think any part of his personality would tend toward being a “giver”, however, if you like mirrors...

John Dashwood: exactly the opposite of a “giver”

Mr. Price: the guy had 11 children in 14 years so I wish I could say he was better in bed. My suspicion is that he started in the good tier and has had a very slow fall into just bad. And all that alcohol, ug...

Dr. Grant: Noted for being a whiney, selfish glutton. Hopefully he just falls asleep before he can attempt anything because I can't imagine him being that good in bed.

General Tilney: If you don't want to even try to imagine their sex life, they go in this tier. And he is so freaking controlling!

No Data: We interviewed Lady Bertram for information on Sir Thomas, but she confessed that with full consent, she has always fallen asleep during sex. Given her personality, we decided that this information has no bearing on Sir Thomas’s abilities. She did say that giving birth was, “Very disagreeable.”

Mr. Hurst: I really can't decide with him because while he does love the finer things in life, we don't know exactly why he and Louisa married. More info required.

Criteria: In the domain of F/M sex, communication is key, so we need a man who is willing to listen to what women say. Also, selfishness is obviously a negative trait when it comes to a happy sexual partner of either gender. Some of this is just vibes, but I think there is a fair amount of canon information about how much men respect women, especially their sisters. 

Feel very free to fight me in the reblogs. The only hill I will die on is that Henry Crawford’s rating is correct 😉

[tabbyofwisdom]

Don't ask me why I'm doing this now. Maybe it's because we're hitting the one year anniversaries of the end of the show, but here's a thesis that I've been ruminating on as to why I believed the symbols from the psychic pointed to Ted.

Presented below the break

My thesis, if it can be called anything, is that each of those symbols were meant for each of the three romantic interests in Rebecca's life, that they symbolized that they were one part of what Rebecca wanted and needed but that they were not the right man. I'm going to break down each symbol. Also, I don't remember reading anything like this but if someone has written something like this, I apologize.

The Green Matchbook: This was for Sam. Sam came into Rebecca's life and showed her that she could have fun again. That love can be fun. In season one, Sassy says, "No, the real Rebecca is silly. Strong, yeah, but not cold." She's relearning fun. But Sam is too young. The power dynamics honestly are really cringy. It's one thing to date someone more than half your age, it's another to date someone you pay that's more than half your age. Aside from that all, their life experiences are totally different. His is just beginning. Rebecca is, to use a metaphor, a phoenix. She's starting it all over for the second time, but she's got a lifetime of experience.

Shite in Nining Armor(honestly, this 'sign' was so stupid, imo): This one is obviously John Stamos Wingsnight. Rebecca's relationship with him was all about learning that love is leaving yourself open to being heartbroken. He obviously was not the person that was meant for her to be that open with......but he was age appropriate.

Upside down, drenched, but safe: Ok, this is the big one and the most controversial. This is boatman. She falls into the water but ends up being fished out by him. Their evening is all about Rebecca learning to let go. She's always dressed to the nine's and is always put together. She never lets her hair down, to be colloquial . That evening she lets herself be Rebecca. 100% her. Silly, in command, sweet, hopeful. We get to see the person Sassy knew but with the strength and stripes that she has earned through her marriage. Flashing back to a year ago, I was so happy to see this. I thought, "This is it. This is Rebecca and now that she's let herself be herself, she can be that with Ted." 😒 I have SO many issues but I'm just going to focus on "Sunflowers". As a woman, I was so nervous throughout the episode. If I was in a foreign country, by myself, fished out of a canal by a strange man, and he threw his phone into the canal(thus eliminating any type of communication) and then he made a joke about how my drink was not spiked, I'd be out of there faster than a Ted Lasso spit take. Again, I was so happy to see Rebecca let herself be....herself but I was just uncomfortable the entire time. When he kissed her foot due to 'habit' I was like, NOPE GIRL, GET OUT OF THERE. He's weird at best. I think the writers were going for "meet-cute" of the 90s and 00s romcom persuasion but we've all come to realize that those movies are rife with misogyny and creepy male behavior and while we may still look back with fondness for them, we don't like to see it in our new media. It wasn't cute. Beyond all that, if you're looking at this through a literary lens, you've seen the two signs so far but the wrong men for Rebecca. Logic would dictate that the third is not right either but that we're close to the end of our journey.

I felt like these signs were pointing the way for Rebecca to realize her feelings for Ted(apparently I was deluding myself). I'm reminded of a post that broke down the response of Darcy and Elizabeth from Pride and Prejudice after the first proposal. They both individually went out and worked on themselves and then came back together after they had realized their faults and worked on them. But the key is that they didn't do it, Darcy does not do this, in order to try again. To try to get the other one back. It was a realization of things, in this case pride and prejudice, that they individually worked on because it was pointed out to them. I bring this up because I see Rebecca's signs, and Ted's therapy(but I'm not going to get into that right now) as them working on themselves. Through these three men, Rebecca learns, or re-learns, things about herself and about what she wants out of a relationship. She gets back to herself, but with the wounds she gained. She is a better and stronger person. They are sign posts pointing to where she should go and where she should be headed. Follow these signs and you will get your lighting.

Rebecca wants someone to have fun with, to feel safe enough to be open to being hurt, and to be herself, wholly and completely. Who in our little show does that for her? There are so many instances where Ted proves time and again that he is all these things. From the insistence of Ted's that Rebecca join the team for the exorcism to his joy at seeing her join the team on the bus in Amsterdam and his laughter at her singing. The absolute care Ted takes to make sure she always feels safe and always has an option to say no, or to voice her concern and the forgiveness he gives her for her sabotage plans. With Ted, Rebecca was always able to be herself. It's slow to come out but through his use of "Oklahoma" we get pure, honest Rebecca. Through Biscuits with the Boss, Ted takes the time to get to know Rebecca, not Ms. Welton, but Rebecca. Ted gets to see the huge generous heart Rebecca has. By the last season Ted is open enough to ask "Am I a mess?" and Rebecca can respond that of course but she is too and that's why they get along.

The show didn't go the way it seemed to logically be going and many of us were left heartbroken and confused. There are many more signs that can be talked about (the September 13th connection, the way Rebecca can tell when Ted is having a panic attack, etc. etc.). Those are for later posts.

If you're still reading, thanks! And you're as crazy as I am :)