#because i've cut it up and picked at it and stretched it out and it'll never be the fucking same no matter how badly i want it to be

[spacedinosauruses]

feeling kind of off today

it was fine but idk

took a turn

struggling to keep myself alive

[avelera]

Avelera's Dreamling Fic Status Update:

Keeping Sanctuary (subscribe for updates here) - Giving Sanctuary Sequel follows Dream and Hob from the events of the altered meeting in 1689 up to the modern era. (aka, What if they hooked up after the 1689 meeting?) Current word count: ~7,000 words across several chapters. Realistic progress update: 1/10 complete total, Ch. 1 is about 1/5 complete.

(The rest are below the cut!)

Come live with me and be my love - Dream and Hob fall in love during the Regency Era when Dream loses a bet to Desire. Shenanigans ensue. (aka, What if they hooked up after the 1789 meeting?) Ch. 16 is at 2,500 words, probably about 1/3 done. Current plan is to wrap up Part 1 in the next few chapters then create a part 2 which finishes out their "1 year of marriage" on a month by month basis instead of following them day to day like Part 1 done. Probably won't be a separate fic though, just a change of format.

This Rough Magic - My take on "Hob rescues Dream from Burgess" with a twist that Hob ends up on Burgess's radar himself when he picked up some occult magic skills in the hopes of contacting Dream after 1889 and apologizing. Now he has to pretend to be friends with Burgess in order to get them both out of there, because Burgess thinks Hob can help force Dream to give him immortality. (aka, What if they hooked up after the 1889 meeting?) Ch. 9 is about 800 words in. Story is still very much in progress I just have a lot of WIPs, as you can see.

Joke's On You (I'm Into That) - The 1589 meeting goes very different when Hob proposes to Dream, who is so offended that he just can't let the matter go. A very angry, very horny competition kicks off between them. (Aka, what if they hooked up in 1589 when they were both at their absolute worst as people?) I have literally 40,000 words written for the rest of this fic. The problem is, there's big gaps in that first draft I have to fill in and scenes that need to be added. This might be my favorite WIP but it's also the hardest to write with all the smut scenes so it'll arrive whenever I can manage, I'm afraid.

Banana Daiquiris Ch. 2 - Comic-canon compliant (mostly) - Dream fakes his death to go on a vacation with Hob and Destruction. They end up in Tahiti. Destruction plays matchmaker. Hob doesn't know whether to thank Destruction or strangle him. Current word count 6,000 words. I've been playing around with adding on to this fic for ages. One of these days, I'll pull it all together.

Great Triumphs and Tragedies - aka, "Dream Accidentally Cursed Hob with a Normal Life" Fic - Dream learns that from 1689 on, Hob's life has been safe. Too safe. Improbably safe. Nothing bad or extraordinary or even terribly special has happened to him since Dream began to consider Hob his friend. He knows this because during his imprisonment, Hob's life became exciting again and suddenly went back to normal the day Dream was freed. Hob is not convinced that Dream is the reason for this, Dream disagrees. They talk about it. And fight about it. And some things that they've probably needed to talk about for a long time finally get said. (aka, sometimes the author just needs to write their weird headcanon into a 20,000 word fic that's almost entirely dialogue). Current word count: 19,000 words and about 80-90% finished, 3 of 4 chapters written. I'm hoping that posting what I've got will help push me through the final stretch. Real life interrupted for a bit though.

And for fics that haven't been posted anywhere yet (you can subscribe on my Ao3 author page for alerts about them):

Hob Amesia Fic - Dream and Hob are dating officially now in the 21st century when Hob gets hit with what seems to be a memory loss curse, shaving off 100 years of his life each day until Dream finds a cure. This effectively grants Dream a walk down memory lane as he is reacquainted with the Hob of each era and, in the process, learns how much longer Hob cared for him than Dream ever realized. Current word count: 40,000 words. Currently writing 1489 (1889-1589 are done) and re-writing the opening. It genuinely kills me not to have this one posted lol.

"Fairy God Marlowe" - 1589 fixit fic where Hob and Kit Marlowe strike up a conversation while Dream and Shaxberd are talking. Hob and Marlowe talk about plays, and faith, and salvation, and queer love, and what it means to live forever. Hob gets a second chance at a first impression. Current word count: ~5,000 words. Sadly, it's all dialogue in script format. I'd need to convert it into prose to publish which would be a slog. So it's a bit shelved until I find the energy to do so. No, I will not post it in script format, I'm allergic to the thought.

I've got a few other concepts kicking around, but these are the ones that actually have (*does a quick calculation*) over 100,000 words written that I haven't had the chance to post yet?? And it's driving me insane????

Anyway, I should probably pin this post for those curious lol. Feel free to ask me any follow-up questions, I love talking about WIPs even as they ruin my life!

[bonzos-number-1-fan]

TMAGP 28 Thoughts: Spooky Scary Skeleton

We're in the final stretch now. I'm curious to see exactly how things will wrap up but I have a feeling we might see it all unfold in the same night now. As an episode though I've got mixed feelings. Mostly because I'm not really sure I needed to hear much of what happened in this episode's statement. It'll be an episode that will either get better or worse with context for me. If there is a compelling point to this beyond exposition that will shape my feelings on it more than the episode in isolation.

Spoilers for episode 28 below the cut.

This will be a short one, I think. There truly isn't much to comment on IMO. Very explicit and mostly pay offs to a few bits that have happened before.

Trevor is exactly what I was expecting him to be. I've seen some comments about how shockingly different he is but I'm not sure I see it. Sure, his background is different. He's well off now. He's not a better person though, he's still just a ruthless grouchy old man. A treat to have him back. His issue with the contract is a little interesting though. Because, if anything, that proves the opposite of his claim. Presumably Ink5oul didn't actually sign that contract and so isn't actually employed in any capacity but the OIAR. It's not a good look certainly but it's not actually

The data processing and amalgamation tools are locked into a 24-hour cycle

This isn't quite the explanation I was expecting but it makes about as much sense as anything else does really.

It's nice to see Gwen selling out Lena and fulfilling part of her character's promise. Her introduction is basically "I'm going to take your job, Lena" and it's nice to see that's not been forgotten in all the trauma. Personally, I'm most interested in how it all relates to Klaus. He's not likely her major source for all the dirt she's got but he is a character I'm very interested in. He was a large part of the ARG and some of the more interesting background detail of the show.

Sam's run in the not one and only Archivist is pretty straightforward. There aren't really many details in the encounter nor the statement itself I think need picking apart. The bits I think are interesting are mostly things I've covered before too so I won't re-tread much of that. Firstly, the tests Sam talks about are a series of developmental and ethical surveys. We're actually fortunate enough to not only know what tests he was subjected to but how he did on them thanks to the ARG. During that we found CHDB which is a spreadsheet of exactly that. Test results from a lot of kids that the Magnus Institute was conducting. I have the whole thing on my masterdoc which can be found here and each column contains and explanation of what the tests are. Gerry and maybe Alice is on there too. Although I hope Alice isn't.

Next up it's Dr. Welling. A character who's shown up a fair bit but we know very little about. He was first mentioned in episode 17 as the namesake of the Welling Mutare Materia research centre that Darrien 3 got locked up in. In episode 21 he's mentioned through as the PoV character complains a lot about him. We don't really know much more beyond this though and I'm expecting he'll play more of a role in season 2.

Finally, it's just the yellow light to talk about really. This is one of those classic alchemical things that we know very little about these days, most source for it are terribly cited, and extant documentation from the era is either vague or treats it as common knowledge so little rigorous explanation exists. There are basically two things this could be, if it's anything, and that's a reference to sulphur or to citrinitas/yellowing. Sulphur is, well, sulphur. In the alchemical context it's part of the tria prima and as such represents the soul. The soul in this context is the Greek psyche rather than an Abrahamic conception. So it's more about emotion and desire. Citrinitas is one of those bits we know incredibly little about. What we do know is that it's one of the classical 4 steps to create the magnum opus, AKA the great work, AKA the philosopher's stone. Often you'll see people talk about a solar light, or a light from the soul, in this context but, again, we don't really know much about it and I'm not sure I've ever seen someone cite a historical source for that.

Outside of that I'm pretty sure everything is pretty clear. Sam's got some fucked up skellington trauma. What's interesting is what this implies about the other compelled statements we've seen. This one is undeniably Sam's own experiences from his own PoV. That didn't appear to the case with Drowning Victim, as the PoV character seemed to die and then they died. It was hard to tell with the autopsy statement but it didn't seem to be the case as they were, y'know, dead. Which seemed to make the inference that when Gwen had her run in that what she was talking about were someone else's experience. Especially when the context of that statement didn't seem to really match her upbringing. With this one being obviously and undeniably Sam's experiences that one could have been Gwen's and might warrant a little more examination.

Also, just to throw this one out there. I wonder if this Archivist represents the rebis.

leaving the tape recorder to flounder in the rain and stop.

That's a fun, albeit strange, visual.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Incident/CAT#R#DPHW Master Sheet and Terminology Sheet

DPHW Theory: 2578 is a fairly uninteresting set for this incident. Which is good but there is little to comment on.

CAT# Theory: I've still not sat down and worked through a few of my ideas on these. CAT2 is another of those very strange picks if it's Person/Place/Object. Even if the place itself is supernatural in some capacity there are some more obvious things it could be and so that makes this another mostly useless data point.

R# Theory: B seems about right for my ideas.

Header talk: Transmutation (Human) -/- Ceremony (Academic). They're doing it on purpose. I can feel the malice on these now. I'm attuned to the negative vibes. However, this—even more than Gwen's encounter with Ink5oul—raises the question of how this was filed. Metatextually we've had Alex talk about how the headings are written by these characters but this one doesn't seem to be the case. So this is either meta information or there is someone else filing these.

[journeyman-tier-fibercraft]

Man finished! I rate him a solid very cute out of ten.

This guy was published as a doily insert plus edging for a linen table cloth (seen Here). The linen part was of zero interest to me so I knit him as a stand alone doily and I very much prefer him as such. Chart A (the "doily") and Chart B (the "edging") match up for knitting in the round as a single doily.

Below the read more is going to refer a lot to the charts, which I got from the amazing Ramona French. While this is the only version of the charts I've seen, looking at the Rav page it seems to also be cut into A and B charts in the same spot. It makes sense in context of the original pattern but I don't like it, both for the reason i'll get to below and also because I straight up just don't like how it looks in the original pattern.

Even without the alterations I'll propose, I think he's a good doily just as he is. The problems I have are barely noticeable/nitpicky now that he's blocked out.

Starting with the edging vs doily distinction. This problem starts with the original pattern since it has you knit chart A for the insertion and chart B for the edging around every insertion and the linen tablecloth edges. But divorcing the actual charts from the linen, the charts really should be rows 1-31 of A as the "doily" and Chart A rows 33-41 and all of chart B for the "edging". The reason I'm so specific about this is because it's focus for any changes I would make. The end of chart A and the beginning of chart B flow together perfectly. It's where the doily/center flower ends (Row 31) and the edging begins (Row 33) that is the problem spot.

(I should've picked a darker colour foam to block this out on, sorry if it's hard to see)

The large center petals (doily) end with a yo, twisted knit 1, yo at the very tip. Then the set up row for the edging is all knits with a yarn over... that is off center of the petal. In a more personal gripe, I don't like how the mesh in the flower portion looks next to the edging. It's not bad (and would probably bother me less if it weren't off center) but it's not my favourite.

The mesh not looking nice next to the edging is an easy fix that comes directly from a doily that has a very similar feel to this one. Sechsblatt is another doily I've knit and also has a 6 petaled flower with mesh between the petals and an edging, but it's edging is separated by several rows of plain stockinette. In my revised chart I added just one odd numbered row of stockinette. I'm not 100% on this change, it's something that you just can't know if it looks good until it's swatched out.

The change I am 100% on is centering the yarn over to be directly above the tip of the center flower petal. There's a number of ways to do so, I'm honestly surprised it wasn't done for the original pattern. My revised chart moves the k2tog on row 35 to directly over the center stitch of the petal, which required moving the start of the repeat one stitch left. This also needs swatched out but I'm fairly confident it'll line up, at least better that just being blatantly off center like it is in the original, and since the k2tog was just moved instead of being added, the stitch count should still work out.

All other changes to the chart were simply made for personal preference/printing convenience.

Eventually I'll knit this revised version but I don't have a timeline on that yet, knitting the same thing multiple times is bad for my attention span. Regardless I would wait because I want to see how the crochet bind off holds up. I usually pin out every chain of the crochet bind out individually but I thought pinning two together looked really good on this particular doily. It made the blocking process a lot tighter. That could've been because I accidentally stretched it too much in the first place (I forgot this doily was 6 parts instead of 8) but it was incredibly funny to behold.

[make-me-your-animal]

Chapter 3: sluts

" I can't believe you two." Bex scolded the two girls and their companions sitting across the table from her. How they thought they would get away with going down to breakfast in the state they were in and get away with it was beyond bexs knowledge. Gemma was wearing one of phils shirts and shorts. The shirt was too short on the girls lanky frame and showed most of her lower stomach as she stretched her arms over her head.

"Do we have to do this over Breakfast" he groaned resting her head on phils shoulder. The tank top he wore showed off the now deep purple lovebite. Gemma couldn't resist herself and made a show of kissing the mark.

Bex ignored her completely. "Well I could believe and expect this behavior out of Gemma but you 'maya?"

"Do not scold her for this!" Gemma argued. "I've never been more proud of anyone in my life they were at it until like 4 am "

"How do you know that?!" Steve ,who was previously quietly picking at his shirt, exclaimed.

"We have ears mate" phil sighed.

"If I hear another word out of you two your band will have to find a new set of terror twins"

"Ah damn, Did we miss the start of the threatening" Joe asked with sav and rebel trailing a few feet behind chatting about God only knows what.

Gemma shrugged gesturing at Bex with a peice of fruit she stole from phils plate in hand. " shes threatening. Were trying to enjoy breakfast" she popped the peice of cantaloupe into her mouth. Phil and steve remained quiet suddenly becoming very interested in their feet.

"We are the supporting act not the headliners bedwarmers" Bex insisted her hands flying around her as she spoke. Sav and rebel grabbed a cup of tea each and sat down.

"Technically speaking he was my bedwarmer last night" Amaya muttered at the same time as Gemma mumbled "diffrent type of support."

"You two are ridiculous" Bex sighed. "I forbid you from sleeping with them again"

"I'm 21 you can't tell me what to do" Gemma stated outraged with the order. "We aren't your children"

"Do you want it to look like the only reason we got on this tour was because we whored ourselves out? It'll be on the cover of every magazine. Watch itll be something like 'up and coming all girl rock band on tour with def leppard but did their music really land them the spot on the bill?' "

"Jesus christ" Gemma sighed. She was starting to get a headache.

"It's a big deal gem-"

"No it's not!" She snapped loudly causing phil to jump. "Your just pissed that we can trust men and you can't. I like phil and I think Amaya likes Steve and i know for a fact Harper likes Joe. Why not let us have this "

"Harper likes me?" Joe asked more to himself then anyone else as he stole the toast off of Steve's plate.

"Yes! You idiot" Gemma and Bex shouted at the same time.

" we aren't bad guys" phil stated.

"You guys are known for using women"

"To be fair we are known for using men" Rebel said sipping her tea. When bex shot her a glare she raised her hands in surrender. She felt alittle bad for the men but not bad enough to put herself in the crossfires.

What if you get hurt?"

"Then we'll cut their balls off and feed them to piranhas." Gemma grinned as phil crossed his legs.

"No we will be adults about it and move on" Amaya corrected her freind making all the men at the table alittle more comfortable. Not comfortable enough to uncross their legs.

"What if you fall in love with them and decide being a rockstars wife is better then being a Rockstar"

"Oh please" Amaya stated. "We aren't going to give up on music because we found some decent dick. No offense" she added quickly kissing Steve cheek.

"None taken"

"What if-"

"Bex enough. If they hurt us then you can kill them" Gemma bargained. "Let us have our fun okay? Just see what happens fair enough"

Silence spread around the corner and all eyes fell on Bex. "Alright fine do as you'd like" she sighed in defeat. "Thank God i can atleast trust one of you " she said looking at rebel who glanced at sav then smirked.

"In my defence it was really easy. You were too busy worrying about everyone else you didn't even realize I wasn't in our room last night"

"sluts absolutely all of you are sluts"

"What did we miss" Harper stated as her and Rick joined their bandmates.

"Please for the love of god tell me you didn't shag"

"What? No of course not" Harper exclaimed her brow furrowing.

"Sav seemed alittle occupied last night so Harper offered me to stay in her room considering she had a double room to herself. Why?"

"Your bandmates are whores"

"Joe or phil?" Rick asked.

"I'm. Innocent" Joe insisted.

"Only because your more dense then concrete." Gemma added.

"Why does everytime the word slut come about I'm to blame What did phil do? Who did phil do? How many did phil do? Why aren't we talking about Steve? I lost good hours of sleep because of him last night. Proud of you mate " he clapped his terror twin on the back. "Now I need to go take a shower before we get on the bus. Care to join me?" He grinned down offering his hand to Gemma. She took it letting him pull her up next to him leaning down to press a soft kiss against his lips.

"This is why!" Steve exclaimed, but his words landed on deaf ears as they were already headed towards the elevator hand in hand. "I don't think phils ever invited the same girl back into his room. It must have been a good night"

"I was thinking the same thing when I saw he was letting her cuddle up to him and eat his food" sav added.

"I think phil might have just found his soul mate" Rick grinned as the elevator closed blocking their veiw from the couple not before they all got a show of them kissing.

"Funny.. I was gonna say the same thing about Gem" Amaya stated.

"So, does anyone want to fill us in on the events of last night?" Harper asked, taking the half eaten peice of toast from Joe.

[forathousanddays]

Closure in Moscow - Soft Hell (REVIEW)

My last time touching on Closure wasn't terribly successful in either reach or reception, but I'm doing this one again for me, and because I said I would back in my First Temple review. I always give a brief rundown on the artist in my preamble, but I've already gone into detail on these guys once before on this blog.

Soft Hell does carry a different angle to it, though. It's a lot closer to their sophomore album Pink Lemonade than it is to something like First Temple or Penance and The Patience, but it's a wholly unique experience. Not only is it unique when viewed through the lens of Closure in Moscow's discography, but also in prog as a whole. I've never quite heard anything like it, and we'll see exactly what that means below the cut.

TRACK 1 - Jaeger Bomb

The lead-in is quiet and reserved, with guitar reminiscent of some of the slower parts in Pink Lemonade. As soon as the preamble concludes, though, we have a weight that we really haven't heard from their discography yet. Jaeger Bomb exists in a state of very curious balance; the verses are very light and high, while the pre-chorus and chorus are a broad, heavy sound. Featuring guitarist Mansur Zennelli and feature artist Aphir as background vocals provides something very new to the band, which was previously exclusively sung by Christopher de Cinque. "I don't actually wanna hurt anyone, I'm just gonna be the monster that I need for me." is a great line. Solid opener, very good at establishing that this is a new sound. 7/10 TRACK 2 - Primal Sinister

I hope you didn't get too comfortable when I said Jaeger Bomb introduced us to something new; no two songs on the album sound similar. The wide range of vocals is a really fun effect, and definitely evokes some of the same feelings as Pink Lemonade. The rolling bass in the back-and-forth sections of the chorus is a blast every time I hear it, and the strange plink-plonk guitar in the bridge keeps me on my toes. Primal Sinister is weird, even by Closure in Moscow standards.

The refrain is a blast too, especially at the outro. The song is just really, really fun. 8/10

TRACK 3 - Absolute Terror Field Ah. Hm. I have some reservations about the vtuber-esque discord kitten rap sections, purely for the inclusion of the phrase discord kitten as a whole. I'm a little worried to see how it'll date the album in the future, but man if the sections aren't groovy. The quite frankly gnarly beat is a highlight, with a nasty low bass that perfectly highlights de Cinque's higher vocals. The inclusion of the phrase "wet for Jesus" in the rap sections is also a nice wink to anybody who likes to look in on de Cinque's twitch streams. Looking forward to the interview where he explains why the title is an Evangelion reference. 9/10

TRACK 4 - Better Way

Better Way had me very excited for Soft Hell's release. As a preview single, it was very effective in teasing me and keeping me on the edge of my seat. Better Way is something entirely new to the discography, but simultaneously a crystallization of everything we know from them. The bridges are essential First Temple/Penance and The Patience lyricism, the high shred guitar is reminiscent of Pink Lemonade/Impeccable Beast, and yet none of it feels derivative. The guitar solo in between the two sections of the bridge is probably my favourite stretch on the record. I'll need to find footage of them playing it live, but I wanna say the beeping sound is tap guitar? I wouldn't have picked anything else for our first preview. 10/10

TRACK 5 - Holy Rush

Holy Rush is immediately groovy. I don't want to keep tying Soft Hell back to Pink Lemonade, as it stands on its own as a work of art perfectly, but the lyrics in Holy Rush are quite literally the plot of Pink Lemonade. "Chasing heaven when you're feeling numb, never enough ... With one more taste of paradise, the noise in my head drowns out." The bridge is stellar, and I really appreciate the decision to switch up the vocalists. The lyrics in the outro being an inverse of the intro is really cool, with the cold vs the sun. 8/10

TRACK 6 - Keeper of The Lake

Pay attention to the bass when you listen to this one, it does some really interesting things. I'd like this track a lot more if I could properly get behind the momentum, but it seems to stop and start pretty often in ways that feel a little disruptive. All of the instrumentation is stellar, with almost bluesy somber chords in the background of the chorus. de Cinque shows off his pipes yet again, with a really powerful belt in a couple different spots.I wish I had more to say about this one; it's completely alright. The last minute or two is definitely a highlight.

The instruments and vocals are really technical and super strong, but the way they're put together is a little underwhelming? 7/10

TRACK 7 - Lock & Key

Once again, a largely just alright song has a lot of really strong ingredients that are put together competently. I'm lucky I'm just a hobbyist, because I don't think "it just doesn't do it for me" would hold up in a proper review article. Everything here is technically really solid, the guitar work is the proggiest it's ever been and the vocals are very measured; de Cinque clearly knows what he's doing here, and you can get the sense that he's practiced and refined his technique. The mix is great, too, but something about it just feels forgettable.

I could see guitar with a similar structure making its way into a Polyphia track, which is a compliment. 6/10

TRACK 8 - Don Juan Triumphant

Don Juan Triumphant is the name of an opera written by The Phantom of The Opera within the story. There may be some references tucked into the lyrics I can't quite catch, but the title seems largely disconnected here. The title reference might have you expecting something elaborate and touching, with some more classical influences, but Don Juan Triumphant is very firmly a groovy prog experience. With one of the strongest chorus sections on the album, it's chronically catchy and unapologetically strange in its composition.

Once again, Closure in Moscow go above and beyond in the last two minutes of the song. 9/10

TRACK 9 - Soft Hell

Woah! Title track! This is my personal favourite place for title tracks to show up, in the last "act" but not as the last song. The record really mellows out near the end, and Soft Hell is where that really sets in. The mix and samples invoke the feelings of that era of mid-2010s pop with Justin Timberlake and Bruno Mars doing their best to genetically engineer the sexiest pop song possible like they were breeding the nose off of a pug. Under that veneer, though, Soft Hell is permeated by anguish. The distant vocals in between the verses feel like they're trying to cut through to you, or to the true feelings of the song, and it's a pretty haunting effect. Altogether, Soft Hell is a really emotional experience, and the softer instruments fit right in here. 7/10

TRACK 10 - Fine

The little lead-in is really fun, with the entire track springboarding off of its delivery. The "I'm alright" refrain is a really nice touch, complimenting the more jazzy delivery on the verses and the nice rolling percussion crashes in the background. Really do keep an ear out for the percussion, all of the hits are consistently super tight and controlled. I appreciate the simplicity in the guitar work here, as the focus should be going mostly on the big-picture mix and the vocals.

Solid performance from everybody involved, great technical work. 6/10 sound.

TRACK 11 - Lovelash

I've seen more praise for Lovelash than any other song, so far. Every time it shuffles on, the synth hit at the start sets off my "oh god is this death grips" alarm, but the percussion is unmistakable. In a traditionally very mechanical prog band, the strong presence of the synth here is a nice effect; Lovelash is a very dreamy experience, complimented by the layering on the vocals in the chorus. Once again, Christopher de Cinque flexes his mastery of the art of writing a bridge, and augments the whole experience with just a couple added lines. Seriously, has this guy fumbled a bridge at any point? They're always the best part. 7/10 TRACK 12 - My Dearest Kate

If you couldn't figure out how pointed Soft Hell was yet, this should help speed that along. The lyrics have all been about parting, from start to finish, and My Dearest Kate is a raw and intimate confrontation of that. There's no groove, no synth, nothing I can call the ever-elusive definition of "proggy." It's just you, the heavily distorted guitar filter, and de Cinque's raw vocals. There's no better adjective for this song; it's a vulnerable confrontation of vulnerable ideas, and I really respect the choice to constantly praise the subject. There's no spite and no bitterness; this is a genuine letter wishing her the best. The easy choice would've been to make this acoustic, but the distortion is a perfect touch. 9/10

RETROSPECTIVE

Soft Hell is a lot of things. AT Field, Better Way, and Dearest Kate are all dramatically different experiences, but you know what? I think it's better for it. There's a reason those are all very highly rated; I don't think I could listen to a full album of Absolute Terror Field-esques, or a full album of My Dearest Kates. (I'd be very open to a full album of Better Way-likes, though.) All of Soft Hell's ingredients are carefully measured and portioned so as not to be overpowering, and as such it comes out as a strangely cohesive experience for being composed of so many moving parts. From Neon Genesis Evangelion to Phantom of The Opera, Soft Hell is a microcosm of culture and extremes.

On my first listen, I was admittedly disappointed; the discord kitten inclusion in Absolute Terror Field set me on edge, and the general lightness of the record had me a little underwhelmed after Better Way set an expectation. Now that it's been out for a while, though, I can confidently say I jumped the gun there. Even my least favourite songs have a reason to be there, and the whole piece would feel underdeveloped without them.

I fully had to Gendo Ikari pose at my screen to decide between the rankings, but I ultimately settled on a 7/10. The highlights are very very high, but the whole unit isn't really shattering any ceilings. If you asked me on a different day, it might be an 8/10. It's very, very close.

[suttttton]

Hey there! Saw your new posts and am wondering, what is the Groundhog Day? New fic?

groundhog day (aka elias vs. the time loop) is about elias getting stuck in a time loop that stretches from the events of MAG 117 (when elias briefs the team before the Unknowing) until the end of the world (whenever that may be in each particular timeline). initially elias is like, "woo-hoo! a chance to create a version of the apocalypse where jon doesn't steal my spotlight and then murder me :)" but eventually he gets EXTREMELY sick of being stuck in a time loop, falls deeply in love with jon, and becomes a better person. and dies <3

it's a fic that starts out INCREDIBLY dark and serious, and then halfway through it just morphs into a clown show. in one loop elias just abandons everyone with no explanation and fucks off to his lake house for a full year. in another loop elias brings jon and martin to his lake house to Keep Them Safe (but mostly they're just Extremely Confused because they're suddenly on vacation with their evil boss???). in another loop elias kidnaps jon and holds him captive in his house to Keep Him Safe except the things that want to attack jon just keep coming into elias' house so it doesn't work AT ALL

it's also very very long, which is why I've been working on it for almost 2 years, and it's still nowhere near done. hopefully after nano this year, it'll be way closer though!

snippet below the cut:

“Why—why—why is—why?” Martin says, his breath picking up as he stares at Jon with an expression that can only be described as horror. He swallows hard and looks back at Elias. “Why did you put him in the boot?”

“I don’t think he minded, Martin.”

“That’s not the point!”

Elias sighs. “I didn’t want to risk questions about the corpse in my car if we happened to get pulled over,” he says, turning back towards the house, and Martin pales.

“He isn’t a corpse!” Martin says. He follows slowly, taking excessive care not to jostle Jon. “Why is he here at all? He needs to be in a hospital!”

It’s all Elias can do not to roll his eyes. “What, pray tell, do you think the hospital is going to do for him?”

“He—he needs to be hooked up to an IV, he’ll get dehydrated—”

“Martin.” Elias fixes him with his most patronizing stare as he fishes the keys from his pockets. Turning back to the door, he continues, “His heart isn’t beating. Dehydration is the least of his worries.”

[donghoonie-3]

Tongue Tied pt3 (final)

Minors dni!!

| pt.1 | pt.2 |

Genre pt3: smut, angst, fluff.

Warning: smut, angst, fluff, sub sunghoon, dom reader, making out, marking (hickeys, m rec), nipple play (m rec), hand job, dry humping, riding (reader is on the pill), praising (m rec). Lmk if I missed anything!!

Pairing: fwb!sub!jay x dom!fembodied!reader x roommate!sub!sunghoon

The morning sun pears through your window and goes straight to your eyes, causing you to wake up. You sit up on your bed and let out a long yawn as you stretch your arms. You look at your watch to see the time. "10am. I should get ready" you say to yourself. You get out of your bed and pick an outfit to wear. Once you're ready for the day you make your way to the kitchen.

You see sunghoon sitting at the kitchen table. "Morning sunghoon" you great him. Oh OH you just remembered what happened last night, you fucked your crush. And now you can't stop blushing. "Oh hey yn" he says looking up from his phone to see you. "Uhm I wanted to ask you something" he gets up from his chair and walks towards the counter that you're beside. "Hmm what is it?" You say as you make your breakfast, hoping he doesn't see how much you're blushing.

"Is Jay your...boyfriend?" You let out a quiet scoff. You don't see Jay as a boyfriend whatsoever and neither does he. You both don't have feelings for each other but want to fuck so that's why yous are just fwb. "No we're friends with benefits" you answer. Looking up at him. "Oh... okay" his heart starts to beat faster. Maybe he does still have a chance with with you.

"Do you have a crush on anyone at the moment?" He asks. Now he's the one blushing. "Hmm yes, why?" You ask, curious as to why he's asking you this. Though you're not surprised about the first question he asked, you're a bit surprised as to why he's asking this.

"Oh...and uh, who is your crush?" He stares down at the floor as the words leave his mouth. What if you don't actually like him and he's just being delusional that he might actually have a chance with you. "Well he's-" your ringing phone cuts you off. You look at sunghoon and apologise before picking up the phone.

"Hello, yeji" You're meant to meet up with your friend Yeji today at the local café that recently opened. You continue talking to her over the phone as Sunghoon just watches you. He's well head over heals for you. "Okay see you soon" you hang up and put your phone into your back pocket. "Sorry, I need to go now. My friend, she's waiting for me" you quickly excuse yourself and leave the kitchen. You put your shoes on and leave the house.

Sunghoon is left in the house you both shared with nothing to do. He wants to hang out with Jay but he feels like it'll be awkward since Sunghoon literally had his best friends dick down his throat. So he decided to call his other friend, Jake, and invite him over since you were gone for the day. 

Sunghoon hears the doorbell ring and quickly gets up to answer it. "Hey Jake! Come in" Sunghoon smiles as he opens the door to let his friend in. "So what's up?" Jake asks as the both of them make their way to the living room and sit down on the couches. "Ahh well something kind of happened" Sunghoon says, while rubbing his fingers over his bottom lip. "What happened?" The aussie speaks up.

"So you know how I've been telling you about my roommate and how I like her" sunghoon says, pulling his hand away from his mouth and rests his hand on the arm of the couch.  "Yeah? Did something happen between yous two?" Jake curiously asks, wondering what happened. "Well we kind of had a threesome with Jay who happens to be her friend..."  he blurts out. "And I know they're not dating because I asked her this morning, I also asked if she had a crush and who it was but then she got a call and couldn't answer me" he finished

"Woah woah woah, you had a threesome with the girl you've had a crush on for god knows how long??" His aussie friend asks. "Yes but that's besides the point. Do you think she likes me?"

"I mean maybe. There could possibly be no feelings last night and be a one time thing but yn did say that they like someone so it could be you?" Jake replies, looking at sunghoon with a light smile. "Yeah okay true..." sunghoon nods at his friends words.

As soon as you enter the cafe your friend Yeji calls you over to the table she's sitting at. "Hey long time no see yn. Anything new?" She asks you. "Nothing new I guess..Well actually... no never mind." You look away and take a sip of your coffee.

"Tell me!! What happened??? Literally nothing has happened in so long I need to be entertained" she makes the 'tained' part extra long to sound dramatic.

You let out a sigh and start talking. "Well, do you remember my roommate?".  "Park Sunghoon? The one who used to ice sake? Yeah I remember him, why?" Yeji says tilting her head slightly to the right. "Well I kind of like him...but the thing is, Jay has been acting a lot differently around me." You take another sip of your coffee before continuing. "He gets a bit possessive? No, jealous? When I talk to other people and yeah sure I might be overthinking it and maybe he doesn't like me but what if he does? Should I then stay away from Sunghoon? I heard that they are best friends." You finish.

"Okay who cares if he like you. He shouldn't stop you from being close to Sunghoon, besides he's literally your roommate. How are you meant to stay away from him?" You both giggle at that. "If you like him you should let him know or hint it to him some how, maybe he might like you too? Who knows" she shrugs then eats her cheesecake she bought.

"I guess you're right then" you sight out. "Enough about me!! How have you been?? I missed you so much" you both continue talking for another 3 hours at the café.

"It was nice to catch up with you yn" your friend says. Yous are outside of the café and were ready to part your ways. "Yeah, we should meet up again sometime." You say while smiling at her. "Yeah definitely" she smiles back. After an exchanged "goodbye" you both part your ways.

You get a call from Jay and answer it. "Oh hi Jay...yeah sure no problem...see you then" you hang up. Jay asked to meet up with you at the rooftop of his apartment. He said he had some sort of surprise for you. To be honest you're really excited since you don't get surprises that often from anyone.

You walk down the street and see his apartment. You put in the code for the door that Jay has given you and you go inside. You walk up the stairs since the elevator broke down. "Fuck you Jay why the rooftop" you say to yourself.

As soon as you reach the final floor you open the door to the rooftop and let put a gasp from the surprise he gave you. As the sun was slowly going down the place was lit up with fairy lights. There was a mini grill on the ground and pillows to sit on. You walk up to him "Jay this is..." he cuts you off and gives you flowers. Your favourite flowers. "I know this is kind of out of the blue but uhm after a while I have started to like you and I wanted to know if you felt the same way? You don't have to give me an answer right away of course, you can tell me in a week, tomorrow, today. Whenever you want to."

You didn't know what to do. This was such a lovely thing of him to do but you don't have any feelings for him apart of being friends but that's all. You don't want to say no to him right away, heck you don't want to break his heart either!! So you simply go with "oh wow Jay.. I didn't expect this, thank you" you say as you take the flowers he gave you. "So is that a yes?" He asks with a pretty smile places on his face.

You look at the pretty flowers he got you. You almost let out a tear at the thought of breaking his heart. "I'm not.. I don't know.. this is all so lovely of you to do and I really appreciate it. No one has ever done this to me Jay." You say. It doesn't come off as an exact "no I don't like you" so Jay doesn't feel that sad right now. "It's okay yn, you can think about it and then let me know how you feel, okay? Let's enjoy the food now!! I made your favourite and you know how much of a good chef I am" he wiggles his eyebrows at the end.

You giggle at his words. Forgetting that he has just confessed to you and sit down on the big pillows he brought. You take the first bight of the food and you already melt at the amazing taste. "Jay!! This is so good oh my god." You say as you stuff your mouth with the delicious food he has made for you. "I'm glad you like it yn" he smiles at you.

You both enjoy the food that he made as the sky gets darker and the stars start to show up. "Wow, yn look" he looks up at the sky. "Oh wow they're so pretty...wait did you see that flying star?" You say as your eyes continue looking at the pretty night sky. "Yes! Quick! Make a wish" he exclaims. You close your eyes and make a wish. You wish that your dear friend won't get hurt once you reject him. "What did you wish for?" Jay looks at you as he asks. "I can't tell you or else it won't come true" you say looking back at Jay with a smile. "Ah right.." he pouts.

Why does he have to do this, its even harder to reject him now. Well you weren't going to reject him now of course but your brain has taken a mental screenshot of the way he looks now. It'll be hard to reject him.

"Ah its already 10... I should get going." You say, looking at your phone to see the time. "I'll drive you home, it'll be much quicker." He says as you both make your way to the door. "No it's fine, I literally live 15 minutes away you should know that." You tease him a bit. "Yess but the car is a lot faster" he insists you to give you a lift while going down the stairs.

"Fine!! I give up" you roll your eyes playfully. "So you'll drive with me??" He asks with sparkles in his eyes. "Yes I will." You say giving him a side eye. You both get into his car and drive back to yours. "Oh yeah and that sunghoon guy. Don't tell him about this day. Me and him are friends so he might not like it." He says while pulling into your parking spot. "Why would he care?" You're genuinely curious. Why would anyone care unless that person likes you. And if he likes you then maybe you'll have a chance with him. But first.. you have to reject Jay. "I can't say why but just please, don't tell him." He finishes.

You both get out of his car and he give you a kiss on your cheek. Great, he probably thinks you like him too. You really need to tell him. "Text me, okay?" He says before waving you goodbye and driving off.

You're left there standing thinking about what you have just done. Maybe you'll meet up with him tomorrow and then reje- you hear your door open "yn, was that Jay?" You hear sunghoons voice and turn around to face him. "Yeah he was just dropping me off." You say and walk into your house. "Oh...I was waiting for you" he says as he closes the door.

"Waiting for me? Why?" Genuine confusion is heard in your voice. "I uhm.. never mind, I'll tell you tomorrow." He starts to blush. He was about to confess his feelings to you but got too nervous. "Oh okay. I'll go to my room now. Good night Sunghoon" you make your way upstairs.

You get changed out of your clothes and put on your pajamas. "I fucked up." You say, tears starting to roll down your face. Even though it's not you who's going to have their heart broken you still feel really sad. Today Jay has really showed you his feelings and you basically just led him on. And now what? You're going to just reject him? After what he has done for you?

You take your pillow and hug it. Muffling your cries. You feel so bad for crying over this when it's not about you but about him. This makes you cry even more. At this point keeping your cries quiet is the last problem you can think off.

You hear a knock on the door. "busy!!!" You yell out to Sunghoon. You tried to hide your sad voice but you failed to do so. Sunghoon opens the door and come in. "I said..busy" you let out more tears when you look up at him. "I brought ice cream and some dvds" he walk give you a bitter sweet smile which you do the same. You pat the space on your bed beside you, signalling him to sit.

He gets under the covers with you and hands you the box of ice cream. You set up your laptop and put the dvd in. A barbie movie. You let out a quiet chuckle at the choices he picked. He just smiles at you, happy to see you a tiny bit happier.

Before you play the movie he says "you don't have to tell me anything but just know that I'm always here for you and I'll always hear you out, okay?" You can't help but let out another tear at his kind words. "I'm so grateful that you're here right now. Thank you Sunghoon."

After watching about 3 barbie movies, you have fallen asleep on sunghoons shoulder. He closes the laptop and puts it on the floor so it's leaning against your bed. He then slowly move you to lie down. He was about to leave but you called out to him. "hoon...stay" you say with your eyes still closed. "Are you sure?" He looks at you. All you do is nod a yes. So he gets back into bed with you. "Can we cuddle?" You ask, now opening your eyes. "Of course" he says. You both place yourselves I each others arms.

"I like you yn" he blurts out quietly as he states into your eyes with a puppy like expression. "Sunghoon.."

"I understand if you don't like me back. I can go back to my room now if you want me to. I just wanted to let you-" you shut him up by kissing him. His eyes widen at the sudden action of your, not even having enough time to react. You pull away "I like you too Sunghoon, but I have to do something before anything happens" you say, referring to the fact that you have go reject Jay. "That's okay, I'll wait for you yn" he bites his lip out of shyness. He's so happy the feeling is mutual.

"Can you kiss me again..?" He asks, looking at your lips then your eyes again. You give him a smile and push him down lightly. Leaning into him and kissing his plush lips. He kisses you back as he puts his arms around you. You deepen the kiss as you cup his face with your hand. He let's out a soft hum at the feeling.

The kiss soon starts to get heated. You bite his lip causing him to let out a whine. Taking advantage of this you push your tongue in. Both of you fighting for dominance which you end up winning to of course. You break the kiss to catch your breath and move down to kiss his neck. "yn" he says as he pants heavily. "Can I give you a hickey?" You ask in-between soft pecks you gave to sunghoon. "Are you sure...what about Jay?" You pause your actions at his words.

"I don't care about Jay right now. I don't want to think about him. Besides we both like each other so what's the big deal if Jay finds out?" You say while looking at him. You feel so mean for saying you don't care about him, you do but just not as a boyfriend. "Oh..okay" he says. He wonders if something happened between the two of you since he could hear the anger in your voice. "Sorry" he whispers.

"No don't be" you move back down to his neck and litter wet kisses all over his delicate skin. "I just don't want to think about him." You start to suck on his skin. Sunghoon let's out a hiss at the nice feeling at his neck and nods at your words.

You mark his neck more until you find his sweet spot. "ahh- yn.." he whines at the contact. "You like it there?" You suck on his skin harder on that spot. "Yes mmh" he bucks his hip into nothing, clearly wanting some friction.

You pull away from his neck to look at the  marks that are decorating his pretty neck. "Can you uhm touch m-me?" He looks up at you with lust in his eyes. "Where baby? Here?" You move your hand to his chest and pinch his nipple. "nghh fuck- there too but...somewhere else ahh" he moans out as you twist his nipple. "Hmm baby you've got to be more specific than that. You know, I'm not a mind reader" you tease as you start giving his other nipple some attention too and give it a light tug before twisting it.

"Oh god" he arches his back at the feeling. He closes his eyes as his face starts to heat up causing a light tint of pink to show up on his cheeks. He takes your hand in his and brings it down to his hard on. "Right there, please" he opens his eyes as he speaks, looking at you.

"Aww my baby is already hard? Hmm you poor thing. Of course I'll touch you there" you give his clothed dick a nice squeeze causing him to buck his hips up. "please..more.." he says.

You pull his sweats off and throw them on the floor. He looks at you with expecting eyes. You straddle his lap and sit right on top of his hard dick. "Mmm please" he let's out a moan. You start to grind against him, ripping out more moans from his pretty mouth.

"Please...wanna feel you around me" he pleads in between moans. "Okay, since you've been a good boy I'll give want you want" you praise Sunghoon.

You get off of him and take both of your clothes off. All he does is stares at you with love in his eyes. "What is it hoon?" You ask as you straddle his lap. "You're so pretty yn" he says in his dazed state. His compliment makes you smile as you begin to slide down his dick. "You're pretty too hoon" you say as you're now fully seated on his throbbing cock.

"I missed this feeling..ngh" he closes his eyes and let's the pleasure indulge him. You honestly don't mind if his eyes are closed. You're happy enough to have him so close to you. Now that you know he likes you back you can finally make him yours. "Your dick fills me up so good hoon mmh perfect for me" he moans at your words.

You movements speed up causing moans to slip out of the both of you from the euphoric feeling. "so good...hahh fuck yn" he throws his head back and opens his eyes from the surprising feeling of you pinching his perky nipples. "I love you You're ...mmgh...body reacts to me" you say whilst playing with his nipples and tugging on them making him let out high pitched moans.

"Ughh please make me yours, finish on my dick, please" he puts his hand hand on your hip and circles his thumb on your clit. His actions make you elect a silent moan. "Can I cum inside? Please?" He looks at you with pleading eyes.

He's so pretty like this, his eyes looking up at you like a puppy who's asking for something with its eyes. His pretty mouth parted as he let's out moans and whimpers which sounds like music to your ears. His whole face flushed pink. His pretty hands on your hips.

You couldn't get enough of him. He was like an angle and you wanted more of him. You take your hands away from his chest and bring them on both sides of his head. Leaning in you say "of course you can cum inside of me love" before crashing your lips onto his. Shoving your tongue in to explore his mouth. He let's you take controll as his hands move up to your chest and message your breasts.

You pull away from his lips and he let's his head fall to the side. Too overwhelmed by the fact that the person he liked since the day he moved into your house has the same feelings for him and letting him have you. He's also so overwhelmed by the pleasure that he can't move so he let's you use him until you both finish.

He brings his hands back to your hips and rests them there. "Fuck hoon you're so pretty like this. All fucked out because of me. Such a pretty boy" you kiss down his collar bone and leave a mark there.

"Your pretty boy" he says in a breathy moan. "Yes, my pretty boy. You're mine now and I'm yours" you move up to kiss his cheek. You ride him even faster than before which makes the moans that slip past his lips louder. "Gonna be a good boy and cum for me?" You hold his chin and make him look up at you. "Yes ahh.. 'm so close yn oh god" he rolls his eyes back and chants your name as his cum fills you up making you cum with him.

You stay on top of him for 2 minutes to catch your breath before getting off. He scrunched his eyebrows at the sensitivity when you move off of him. Sunghoon let's out a quiet "Where are you going?" When he sees you walking towards the door. "Just getting a cloth to clean us up, I'll be quick" you say and leave the room.

While you were gone for not too long he hears your phone buzzing none stop, clearly someone is spamming you. He picks your phone up to turn off the buzzing but he sees Jay messaging you.

Jay: hey, I hope you liked the date:)

Jay: I was thinking, if you want to of course. That we could go out on another date?

Jay: I was thinking to go to the cinema maybe

Jay: oh yeah and you didn't tell sunghoon about today right?

He hears you coming up tue stairs and quickly turns off your phone and puts it back. "hey" you smile while walking up to him. "Hey" he says back. He's in disbelief at what he read. Are you and Jay actually dating? Are you playing them both? His thoughts get cut off as you clean up some of his cum that dripped out of you and onto his lap with the warm wet cloth you brought. Once you finish cleaning the both of you up you give him his clothes back and then put yours back on.

"Oh yeah what did you and Jay do earlier?" He turns his head over to you. "Oh uh nothing" to be honest you don't know why you're not telling him the truth about what happened with Jay. That he gave you a surprise date and you didn't reject him yet because you're too scared to loose him as your friend and that now you'll have to reject him before you and Sunghoon go any further with your relationship.

"Ah okay" he feels a wave of anxiety take over him. He wonders if he should tell you about the messages or not but before you can do anything you're already checking your phone.

"Oh" you say as you scroll through the messages from Jay. "What?" Sunghoon asks, deciding not to say anything about him knowing what Jay said.

You look at sunghoon and then your phone and then back at sunghoon. "You know how I told you that I need to do something before we take things further." You say, recalling the conversation yous hand when he confessed to you.

He hums in reply. "Well uhm I don't know how to word this but basically that 'nothing' didn't happen. And please before I carry on, listen to what I have to say. Okay?" He nods and let's out an "okay".

"Basically he surprised me with a date and confessed to me but I didn't want to say no right away since what he did was really nice and probably thought a bit about it. Another reason is because he's a good friend which I'm sure you know of since yous are best friends and I don't want to loose him so that's why I didn't say no." You take a moment to breath.

"Why didn't you tell me though?" Sunghoon asks. You think to yourself for a second. You could've told him yet you didn't just because Jay told you not to?. You shake your head at the disbelief.

"He told me not to tell you and I guess that's why I didn't say anything. I'm sorry I should've told you as soon as you confessed" you sigh and look down at your hands. "It's okay yn, I'm glad you told me now." You look at him and he gives you a warm smile.

"But, when will you tell Jay the truth about how you feel?" You let out yet another sigh at his words. "I'm planning on telling him tomorrow, he said he wants to meet up anyways so it'll be a good time to tell him" you nod to yourself at your words.

"Okay, and then...we.." he trails off as he can't find the right words he's looking for. "You can officially be mine and I'll be yours" he smiles at your words.

It's the next day and you're on your way to meet up with Jay. Yous agreed on just having a walk around the park. To say you're stressed about what you're going to do is an underestimate. You're quite literally terrified of how this will all end up.

You see Jay sitting on one of the benches and walk over to him. "Oh hey yn, you look really nice" he gives you a smile, showing his pearly whites. "Thank you Jay" you give him a bitter smile back to him. You both start walking around the park. And after 10 minutes of silence you decide to tell him.

"Jay look uhm I need to tell you something" you begin. "I'm all ears yn".

"I don't think...no, I don't feel the same way as you and I'm really sorry that I'm only telling you this now. I didn't want to tell you because I didn't want to loose you. I understand if you're pissed off at me for not telling you sooner and if you want to never talk to me again. I just want you to know that I'm really...sorry...Jay?" You stop in your tracks as you see that he stopped walking.

"So you played me?" You can hear the heartbreak in his voice. "What no! I was going to tell you sooner but as I said-"

"You didn't want to loose me" he scoffs. "I bet you told Sunghoon too." You tilt your head to the side "Why did you not want me to tell him anyways?" You ask.

"He doesn't know this but I know he likes you yn, that's why. I'm also friends with Yeji and she told me you like him too. And I didn't want to loose you to him" he says with his hands now turning into fists and he tried to contain his tears. "God fucking damn if how dumb am I? I bet yous are both dating now" he let's out a tear.

"I-" you have no words to say. "I know it" he scoffs at you. "I'm sorry Jay" you look down. "Whatever" he turn around and walks off as more tears rolls down his face.

You decide to just let him go. The last thing he'd want is you running after him and begging him for forgiveness. You let out a tear yourself at the sight of seeing him like that.

After standing there for 5 minutes you walk back to your house. But what you didn't expect was to see Jay fist fighting with Sunghoon.

"What is wrong with you!!" Sunghoon yells. "It's not my fault she doesn't fucking like you Jay!" He yells once more as Jay pushes past you and leaves. "Sunghoon.." You say as you see a bruise already forming on the side of his face.

"I'm sorry yn, maybe this...us...was a mistake" you says as he was about to leave the house. "No wait Sunghoon please, I already lost Jay. I don't want to loose you too" you say while grabbing onto his arm.

"It hasn't been a day and this happens" his voice calmer now. "Let me clean you up before you go" you say, still holding onto his arm. "okay" he says.

After you clean up his cuts you ask him, "do you seriously want to end something that hasn't even properly started?"

He puts his head on your shoulder and holds your hand. "Of course not. I really want to be with you yn" he says.

"I want to be with you too hoon" you pat his head softly with your free hand. "Am I still yours then?" He asks as he looks up at you. "Yes you're still mine and I'm yours." You reply. You kiss his cheek and then his pretty pink lips to reassure him.

"Thank you" he whispers. "No. Thank you for not leaving me" he smiles at your words, showing you his dimple. "Wanna go watch something and order food? You know, to brighten up the mood?" You suggest. "Another barbie movie??" You both laugh at what he said. "Yes a barbie movie."

"Good" he smiles. Yous both make your way up to your room and turn on a barbie movie on your laptop. He lowers himself down, puts his head on your chest and puts his arm around your waist. "I love you" he whispers. You hold him close to you and whisper back a "I love you too hoonie"

THE END

A/N: I'm actually happy with this last part omg^^ tbh I wasn't really satisfied with the series but now that it's finished I find myself to like it:). I hope yous enjoyed this and please!! Reblog or give me feedback. It means a lot more to me than just a like<33

Tag list: @makiixuxii @parkhonnie @hee-pster @foxdaisy

Send an ask to be added!!

[ghosttownwherenoonegoes]

Excuse me. I'm going full feral for Eddie for the first time ever on this blog. Personal to me but feel free to comment, reblog etc. If you wanna. I just wanna fully and completely lose my shit on here because I can't do what I wanna - which is to sit beside Eddie and say all of this to him. I'd say it, and then I'd show it.💔

Tagging people who commented on the post I made to announce going feral: @thegirlwiththatolduglybookshelf @purple-storm @olipratton @hawkinsroyaloutcast @ladyofthestayingpower @seidenbros @sparks363 @wannabestarkeysgirl @word-wytch

One of my love languages is acts of service. I love doing things for people, just because I can. My dad offhandedly mentions he's low on whisky so the next time I go food shopping, I'll "accidentally" buy some and give it to him as casually as if I told him it's sunny outside. I worked for two hours totally voluntarily at my workplace the other day because they made a comment about wanting help and I figured I would, just because I was already there running an errand while I was off the clock. So I may as well, right? And you all saw how thin I stretched myself at work this weekend in the name of helping people. Mum mentions a craving so next time I go shopping, I'll pick her some up and leave it on her desk for her to find. I make people drinks when I make myself one. I write fics for friends of characters I don't even know and have to spend days or weeks researching just because I know it'll make them happy and I want that for them. I never shop for myself without asking around my house to see if people want me to get anything for them while I'm out. I take very occasional trips to my dad's workplace to drop him off some coffee and doughnuts for him and his coworkers. I like to do things for people. And if I love you, I'll do almost anything for you.

Admittedly, this is at my own detriment sometimes and I'm regularly taken advantage of but I don't let that stop me because not everyone is like that and I do genuinely love helping people and doing things for them. If they take advantage of me, I know not to help them next time. It makes me happy to be able to do things for people. Like, yes, good, let me help you. Tell me how I can make your life a little easier!!! I want to. I never feel like I've said ENOUGH how much I love people through the things I do for them, so birthday cards almost always feature a small note or a letter, handwritten, of how much they mean to me, and I thank them for being themselves and other mushy gushy things. Thoughts of my loved ones not knowing they're loved or thinking I don't love them absolutely terrifies me.

And I want Eddie to know I love him. So much and for so many things. The things I would do for and with him. And Wayne. You can't be close to one Munson without being close to the other as well. They're a package deal when you really get down to it. I love both Munsons equally but in different ways.

I would do almost anything for Eddie. I say almost because, help him kill a dude if the situation called for it? Sure! Cut back on my eighteen cups of coffee a day (sometimes more if a deadline is looming)? Not a chance, Munson. Death before decaf, too, so don't even think about switching out and not telling me. I WILL know the difference.😂

I want to do what we all want for Eddie; to take care of him, help him to be happy and healthy and alive and vibrant and his most feral, bounciest self!!!! Assuming, of course, he would be interested in me romantically (oh woop there's the core insecurity that he wouldn't 💔 and assuming he'd be okay with dating someone a little older than he is), there isn't much I wouldn't do to show how much and how deeply I love him.

I want to buy him patches for his vest when I'm out running errands and give them to him as casually as you state the weather and not tell him that I deliberately went across the other side of Hawkins for that one specific patch he can't get anywhere else, even though nothing I needed was across that part of town. (Let's face it, he'd clock me almost instantly. But he probably wouldn't say anything about it because he'd be in total disbelief.) I want to get home from work a few hours before he gets home from Hellfire so I can cook us and Wayne some dinner and oh woops, I made too much so there's enough for all of us to have breakfast too, what a shame that is!!! I want to study for my psychology and counselling degree while he writes a new campaign, sitting together in the living room with Black Sabbath or Dio or Metallica playing and we're just chilling out together. He asks a question or I might ask a question or we might check in with each other occasionally but we're just spending time together separately. I want to listen to him practice Master of Puppets and applaud him, genuinely and wholeheartedly, because he mastered that song in eighteen days by EAR while also going to Hellfire and school and dealing and keeping out of trouble and making his uncle proud and Eddie is amazing and so so so intelligent and he deserves to know how loved he is!!!! I want to sit on his lap and cup his face in my hands and smother his face in kissies until he's giggling and cupping my wrists and his nose does that cute lil' scrunch and his eyes are molten pools of chocolate. I want to hike a leg up to his hip when we cuddle, not for NSFW reasons but just because I can't get close enough to him and I wanna be as close to him as possible because the side of the bed he isn't laying on is cold and I love the cold weather but I love Eddie more.

More than my own comfort, more than my own safe space, more than my life before him, just... more.

I want to help him graduate and have him help me to push through this degree and I want to go with him to The Hideout on Tuesdays because the ten seconds we heard of Corroded Coffin minus Eddie was so fucking lovely and I wanted to hear more and we were robbed of them!!!! I want to sit in the corner and watch Eddie and feel my heart swell in my chest because there he is!!!! Being amazing and working hard and having the absolute fucking time of his life!!! I want to laugh with him and cry with him and cuddle with him and harmlessly prank each other with fake spiders and things we can easily laugh off because if you're not both laughing then it's not a prank, it's just mean. I'm non-confrontational almost to a fault, I'll let people walk all over me if it means I won't get yelled at because loud voices make me cry and so does shouting and I'd just really rather not but I would stand up to Jason Carver in a fucking heartbeat if it meant keeping Eddie safe!!

I want to leave him love letters and love notes lying around for him to find - you look pretty today!, I'm so grateful to know you!, Thank you for existing!, and then longer and more detailed letters, ones like this post. I'd never have the courage to sit and talk to him about all of this, but I'd find it in me to write it all down and then read it aloud to him... I could do that, provided I kept my eyes on the paper. Looking at Eddie would make me forget what I'm doing in that moment but he'd deserve a full uninterrupted stream of consciousness... just like this.

I want us to brush and braid each other's hair and go on dates wearing Hellfire Club shirts and I want us to drive around Hawkins aimlessly blasting Ozzy or Sabbath or Dio or Metallica or Iron Maiden or Corroded Coffin, having fun and looking at Eddie and seeing him looking at me. I want to sit in the back of his van and spill out my guts, tell him all of this and more, all of the things which are in my fics are basically just ME talking to Eddie, talking to Wayne, and I want to look into his eyes and see him looking back at me. I want him to soothe the insecurities I have that the Munsons don't like me, I want him to show me that they do, that I'm someone they'd consider worthy of their time, I want to be someone they enjoy having around and I want to find out about the Munsons all the things Hawkins refuses to even consider finding out about. I want to be known as "Eddie Munson's girl" because what greater honour is there than being loved by him???

I want him to find out that I'm scared of the dark and tease me for having a fawn night light and a comfort pillow at twenty-five but then wisen up and stop halfway because wait, shit, he has fears too and I didn't tease him for them and I could then tell him it's okay, I make fun of me too but in a good way because sometimes the only way through something is to crack jokes about it and Eddie gets that.

I want to tell Eddie all of those negative thoughts and worries and insecurities and doubts - things I've shared here and deeper, darker ones I haven't - and I want to sit on the steps with Wayne and tell him, too, and to know that in the Munsons I've found two people I can trust more than I trust myself because as you all learned this weekend, I don't always have my own interests in mind when it comes to doing things for other people and it is a problem and the Munsons would be able to help me with that, but without making me feel bad about it. Eddie would be angry, it's true, but he'd lecture me in such a way that I probably wouldn't even realise it until after the fact.

I want to metaphorically rip my heart out and show it to Eddie - here I am, this is me, see me, know me - and I want him to wipe away all the tar and shit, to smooth away the cracks caused by the way I always break my own fucking heart with my thoughts and insecurities and traumas and worries, and hand it back to me, lines of gold laced in those cracks, his love the balm of it all as he slots it back into my rib cage. Not to fix me, I'm not broken, but I have some crevices and nooks and crannies Eddie can get into so when I'm hurting, when it's all a bit too much I can't breathe, Eddie is there when I close my eyes, put my fingers on my wrist or a hand on my chest to feel my own heartbeat, he's there.

I'm always scared, stressed, overwhelmed, anxious, worried, but Eddie genuinely makes it easier to breathe, gives me ten minutes here and there in the day to feel better, to focus on myself, and I've gotten better at self-care because will I do it for me? Not always. But for Eddie???? The thought of making him proud has me in the shower or cooking dinner so fast sometimes that it makes me dizzy. I love him so so so so so much and I just wanna spill everything out and have him be there with that beautiful smile he has, open arms, listening ears and a, "C'mere, sweetheart."

His smile, his eyes, his voice, his nose which is so boopable, the way he doesn't know what those stains are - and honestly, I believe that - his guitar, his love for the lost and the confused and the outcasts, the way he became for others what Wayne became for him, Hellfire, Corroded Coffin, his dorky jokes, the way we've both read the Hobbit and the Lord of The Rings books, the way my mum said my hair looked like Galadriel's mid-battle when I woke up this morning until she brushed it all out for me 'til it was just in normal waves, the way he drives like a maniac and the way I refuse to learn to drive because it scares me and I don't trust people at large, the way I was a sheltered teenager with an over-protective mum and that's still the case now and I am desperate to get out and I have been trying to since I was eighteen and the way Eddie would let me have all those firsts I never got to experience because of that and he'd keep me safe and make sure I have a fun time while that happens, the way we love and love hard, the way we share similar music tastes and the way he's plastered all over the wall above my bed so when I come home from work and just before I study, he's there making me smile and making it feel like my soul just got a shot of espresso... I love Eddie, so much. So much. I'd do anything for him. Anything at all.

I wanna take care of him and have him take care of me, I wanna dive into his mind like the deep end of a pool and have to readjust to the temperature because most people start shallow when getting to know someone and branch into the deep end but I wanna shock myself with Eddie and just go in and discover as I go and I want to learn all of him yesterday and I want to grow as a person with him and grow old with him and I... my heart is squeezing. I want to sit and watch him during campaigns and see him get lost in his element, in his happy place, I wanna soak up the sunshine vibes and enjoy the cackling and the laughter and the sadistic kicks he gets out of people losing but then the even louder joy when they win because he loves D&D and he loves Hellfire and he loves his sheep and he loves to love!! Eddie is a lover!!! He cares so much that if he tried to hold his heart in his hand, it'd burn him.

I just want to give Eddie Munson a biiiiiiiiiiiiig big big big hug. Tell him: "you're the sanest of them all, Eddie" and hear his laugh, see him smile, look at him and see him looking back at me. I want Eddie to love me, to love me, and I want to love him to. Not just like this, with a screen cutting through, but for real. I always waited, craved for an Eddie when I was in school, when I was growing up, and now I ache for someone like him. If I can't find him, I'll become someone like him, I'll be kinder and softer and gentler and better than I am, in all ways, I'll learn and grow and heal and develop as a person, for Eddie. For Eddie.

I say that to myself so often, multiple times a day, "if Eddie can do it, so can you", "Eddie would be proud", "do it for Eddie", "Eddie loves this song and he'd love that you're enjoying it too"... it gets me through. It really, truly does.

If I could make him smile at least once a day, that'd be enough.

I'd be enough.

[leonicscorpio]

Batboy Headcanons because I made this for me but you all can enjoy this too if want. (May contain mild NSFW)

Dick:

Has a weird relationship with unwanted gaze and the attention he receives because of his physique. He genuinely likes the attention but he draws the line when people start getting touchy. Just because he's shirtless working out doesn't mean he gave you consent to touch him.

Has good dieting skills but he's in his mid-late 20's and his metabolism has 0 signs of slowing down. He once ate a whole xl bag of M&M's in front of Steph and Babs and both said they wanted to murder him because he won't gain a pound.

Dick has ADHD and I'm sorry if you don't think otherwise. He has hyperactive type ADHD and while he's gotten better at controlling his symptoms he still stims stretching and flexing his arms and shaking his arms.

While not so much in Gotham, Dick is very politically active and volunteers at voter registration and working with organizations with the mission of police demilitarization in Blüdhaven.

Dick is a very sexually driven individual. However, I don't think it's entirely healthy. His ADHD also comes into play with this but Dick just needs to have a release at least twice a day or he'll feel physically sick.

I don't know if you all have seen male gymnasts. But Dick, like the rest of them, has FREAKSISHLY large biceps. Everyone talks about Dick has the best ass in the bat family and while Jason may be larger and stronger, Dick has the best physique.

Dick's apartment is littered with sticky notes in places such as the fridge/in front of his computer. If it's not written down and in a place where he can't ignore it, it's not going to get done.

I'm sorry I know everyone says his birthday is in March but I have to go to the older Nightwing comics and say his Birthday is December 1st. I want you to look me in the eyes and tell me this man doesn't give off Sagittarius energy. You can't. I respect you but you can't look at that and tell me that man isn't a Sagittarius or has super heavy Sag in his birth chart.

Dick's at home doing nothing but chilling? You best believe he's gonna be shirts off, tits out, and rocking some blue flannel PJ's.

Dick is currently the only member of the family asides from Barbara who is regularly attending therapy. And he actively encourages each of his brothers and sisters to go every time.

After his Agent 37 days. He sits down with Jason and talks about having to use a gun and how hard it was. And how having to kill people has affected him. When he had to kill the KGBeast (Agent 37 days he snapped his neck) I headcanon Dick just trauma v*mit*d. Jason hugged him and just consoled him.

It's canon that Dick has anger issues but to me, it's not explored or talked about enough and not a lot of people like to talk about it. Dick is very much the 'if I ignore it it'll go away' type when it comes to his anger and he can brush most insults or harassment off fine enough. But when he breaks, he makes Jason look like a saint. I'm talking slamming you into a wall and screaming in your face angry. He'll be profusely apologetic afterward but still.

Despite popular belief, I don't think he's that bad of a cook. He's just not very experimentative. He can follow a recipe and does look at some guides. But to me, Dick Grayson just is that guy who is like Chicken veggies and rice are a meal that I can cook 4-6 times a week.

Dick has a slight fear of dentists. He doesn't have bad teeth and has good dental health. He just doesn't like the idea of a drill going in his mouth and the few times Bruce has to take him to a dentist he had a panic attack every time.

Everyone lives for the fics where Jason beats the shit out of Tim and everyone is just like lol well Bruce and Dick just forgives him. No. When Dick found out it was Jason who beat Tim to the ground, Dick was literally seething and told Jason "Pick on someone your own size or else I'll make you wish you back in that f'ing coffin."

Dick's favorite foods (some based in Canon*): Milk Chocolate*, Cereal*, Asparagus, Bananas, Banana flavored candy, Hawaiian Pizza* (suffer its canon) Rum, thanksgiving Turkey.

Jason:

He may be the self-diagnosed black sheep (rightfully so) of the family, but Jason does genuinely love spending time with his siblings. Whether it be sharing memes with them on social media or just randomly showing up where they are and abducting them to go get ice cream/coffee/snacks.

He'd probably attempt to harm you if you told him this to his face. But he is the closest acting to Bruce out of all of the family. In terms of mannerisms and inherent warmth and kindness behind a dark façade.

Has two moods: either exceptionally, almost neat-freak levels of clean, or his life is completely falling apart and Jason can't tell you for sure what color his floors are because there's so much stuff scattered about.

Despite their initial hatred of each other, Jason truly feels closest to Tim and Tim is the only person asides from maybe Barbra who he can just talk to without feeling any judgment.

Jason only smokes when he's extremely nervous about an operation or a hit. For those who don't know criminal justice cigarettes are the fastest way to get genetic material on someone. That being said he does still like to smoke occasionally.

Me, plus a lot of people give him this sort of 'Lazarus Rage' as I like to call it. When he's in the heat of a mission or if he's getting upset/angry his vision will get blurred with green, and it feeds on his anger and just gets perpetually harder to contain until he releases it. Jason has gotten much better at controlling it. But as he will tell Tim or Babs, he's "seeing green" which means they need to be careful because Jason could kill.

Everyone says Dick is the mother hen. I see you, I accept you, but let me raise you. Jason came to realize that he died because of his rash decision to go after The Joker alone. If Jason finds any of his siblings out acting alone, or even at the very least without Oracle. Jason WILL forcefully interject himself and ask them what the fuck they think their doing.

I've said it before and I'll say it again. Trying to get close to Jason is hard. He will degrade you can attempt to try to get you to hate him before he lets you in (that cheeky Tsun of him)

He genuinely cares for and supports all of his siblings but has been rough on them needlessly. But if Bruce is being the distant or absent parent he is, you better believe if any of the siblings drops him a text or a call, Jason will be there in a heartbeat.

He's the most physically powerful of the whole Bat Family. You don't understand because of his time in the League, his time with the All-Caste, and having abused Venom for a time, he can snap an arm bone like it's a carrot with little effort.

Everyone in the family likes dogs and goes out of their way to gush over a dog, but Jason takes it to a whole new level. And even when he's masked up dogs just gravitate to Jason.

Can and has grown a beard in a matter of a few days. He usually likes to be clean shaven but some days he likes to wear a beard just to throw everyone off.

One time him, Steph, Tim, and Duke all went to a restaurant (Red Robin lol) and the waitress got his order wrong and his burger had raw tomatoes on it, Jason took the tomatoes off and ate it while looking absolutely miserable. Tim: Jay why did you eat that you didn't have to you know you could have asked the server to fix your burger. Jason, almost in tears: "She works really hard and she tried and I'm a scary dude I don't want to make her upset.." Duke: "... Jason you literally shot at a cop for looking at you funny the other day. But you're afraid of upsetting a waitress?!? I mean ACAB but dude.. "

Jason's happiest big brother moment™ was taking Tim and Damian to the shooting range and watching them both get their first bullseye.

You can't tell me Jason Todd was into the Emo/Screamo/Warped-Tour Scene. His favorite bands/Albums in no particular order, That's the Spirit (Literally the whole album is Jason Themed and I'm gonna die on this hill) & Sempiternal by Bring me the Horizon, Digital Renegade & Everyone's Safe in the Treehouse by I See Stars, The Resistance: Rise of the Runaways by Crown the Empire,

Jason Todd's favorite foods: (Also some based in Canon*) Burgers, Chili Dogs*, Lager-style beers, Freshly baked bread*, Neopolitan ice cream, grilled corn, and Chinese Chicken noodle soup with Duck.

Tim:

This boy *slaps car roof* gives off so much asexual energy. I know New 52 exists but I just feel like Tim is the person who really, REALLY has to trust you and like you before he's sexually active with you.

HYPERFIXATES. You also can't tell me Tim isn't on the spectrum/or has ADHD.

Is the only member of the family who regularly checks up on Jason and talks to him every day via text message. The two are memelords together and love to play pranks on the other members.

While Dick may give the most frequent hugs and Jason gives the tightest, most secure hugs, Tim's hugs are always the warmest and make you just feel good.

Tim's birthday is July 19th. Meaning he's a Cancer. Let that sink in.. no, really let that information just soak. (Note I have nothing against Cancer women, cancer men however....)

All of the bat boys really struggle with talking about their feelings. Dick will manipulate you into changing the subject via twisting it to be about you, Jason will just cut you off or will ignore you, Damian will deflect everything and harass you until you stop, Tim however, Tim is very emotional and while he's very calculated about who he's emotional with, he's not afraid to break down and cry if he trusts you.

Everyone who says he's the level headed Robin haha how's it feel to be WRONG. Tim is at best the least functional college student and at worst a lemming. 'No Tim, coffee isn't a meal I'm going to make you some food or I'm going to stick you in a room with Damian for an hour.' Richard (Dick) John Grayson.

People overblow how addicted to caffeine Tim is. But it's true. Just overblown. You can talk to him before he's had his caffeine just don't expect him to be anything but curt and blunt.

Everyone says Jason would be the worst at texting but it's Tim. He's the master of leaving you on read. While Jason may do it on purpose, Tim is just really bad at texting people and while he always will read your messages he forgets to respond unless it's really funny or really pressing.

Everyone sees Tim as this bean pole super skinny boy Robin. Tim may not be stacked like Dick or a freaking tank like Jason, but Tim is NOT super skinny. He's just as muscular and likes to work out as anyone, but he just is super lean, so he looks a lot bigger and his muscles are more defined because of how thin his skin is. He has those almost disgusting spider veins on his arm. Kind of gross to look at, but he's the dream of any nurse. This means Tim is also the king of accidentally sending/posting thirst traps.

He really is the glue of the Bat Family. Everyone kidnaps Tim for 'Tim Time'.

Dick likes to spar with and in general just hang out with Tim. Tim tried to teach Dick how to skateboard and you'd think the boy who mastered the trapeze would know how to skateboard but you'd be wrong.

Babs and Tim always hang out and talk about computer stuff and Babs knows she can vent to Tim about anything and he won't say a word.

Tim and Steph were a thing for a while and even though they're just friends now, they still are very close and the two have a very deep bond, liking to shop with each other and watch movies,

Cass just loves to be around Tim because of how calming he is but also she knows she can spar with him AND Cass can also skateboard with Tim too.

Even though him and Damian are always fighting, the two still end up being together and have this unspoken bond. They work great together on a team but other than that they still hate each other.

And while everyone still is hesitant around Jason, and despite the fact that Jason literally beat Tim to within an inch of his life, AND would still trigger Tim and taunt him about it. The two have this odd closeness that rivals even him and Steph. Tim will always be the first to bat for Jason. Jason was Tim's Robin. And despite the fact Jason literally beat it into Tim's head to "never meet your heroes." Tim will always be there for Jason should he ask. The two are just close. And it's hard to describe. Bruce has caught Tim and Jason just platonically sleeping next to each other or just doing their own things shoulder to shoulder silently, just enjoying each other's company.

Tim and Duke also have a really positive relationship with one another and the two can stay up all night just talking about anything. Their minds just mesh well together. The two also love to team up and prank the other members of the Batman Family.

Tim's favorite ASMR/Stim? Watching those Tik Toks of people cleaning computers or cleaning phones. The sound of an air duster is like music to his ears and if any of the Bats need their technology cleaned it secretly makes Tim so happy to help them.

Wear his hair up or wear his hair down? It depends! While Tim likes his long hair he also has gotten plenty of compliments for his short hair and likes to style it to suit any occasion.

My one pet-peeve with Tim is that he probably is that person who lets his privilege show from time to time. While he was essentially raised to just sit down, shut up, and be a perfect trophy son to the Drake's. The Drake's were in the same tax bracket as Bruce and Tim definitely was a rich kid. He never means to come across as spoiled, but sometimes Jason will give him harsh looks if Tim just throws away food he doesn't like or says things like Chipotle is 'poor people food'

Tim Drake's favorite foods (you know by now*) Donuts*, Shallot and Artichoke Pizza with Canadian Bacon* (odd choice but it could work) Artichokes in general are his favorite vegetable, Strawberries, and Beef Pho.

Damian:

I headcanon that he has the worst teeth of all of the Bat Boys and he actually has to use lingual braces. (Hence why you can't see his braces)

Canonically is a very good artist and while him and Tim don't get along, Tim introduced Damian to digital art and gave him a photoshop pack and a nice tablet for his birthday one year and Damian loved it so much.

Damian is a capricorn and I will die on this hill. A January capricorn too.

Now you want a good chef? You've got Damian. Having converted to veganism Damian has had to get creative whenever he goes out to eat so he tends to like to eat more home cooked foods. Damian loves all matters of mushrooms, eggplant, and bell peppers.

Damian really struggles the most with his wanting to just be a normal kid. Despite the fact he will dismiss you for it, anytime he gets to spend at Gotham Academy with Jon and the rest of the kids he's naturally the happiest.

Damian LOVES to give gifts. He loves the look on people's faces when they are shocked when they actually get something from Damian.

Despite the fact that he's been traumatized from both his times with Ra's and Talia as well as with Bruce. He just wants Bruce and Talia to be together because he loves them both equally.

While he's the least flexible and least gymnastic of the Robins do let your guard down around him. He is the fastest runner and the guy is rivaled only by Jason in terms of lethality.

So someone (Jason Todd & Duke Thomas) introduced Damian to trap music and ever since anytime his phone gets stolen people will be shocked to find he's listening to some combination of Lil' Yachty, X, Kendrick Lamar, Wiz, and Kodak.

If any random person tries to hug Damian he'll immediately push them away, he'll bitch and moan about just about anyone hugging him other than Bruce & Dick.

Damian loves to go to the beach/the ocean. He just thinks it's so vast and he loves the brineness of the air. Also being half white, quarter middle-eastern and quarter Chinese (Yes everyone forgets Talia is half Chinese) Damian gets DARK. And although he's just okay as a swimmer he still likes bogeyboarding and eventually wants to learn how to surf.

I'm genuinely afraid once Puberty is done with this kid and everyone in the family is. He has Bruce Wayne AND Talia Al-Ghouls genes and those are two SEXY human beings. Damian's gonna grow a beard one day and people aren't going to know how to act.

Damian secretly plays Fortnight and not even Jon knows. He doesn't want to get shamed. He'd rather lose a match and ruin his streaks than deal with the shame of anyone in that family finding out he plays Fortnight.

Damian Wayne's favorite foods (canon*) Cereal*, Avocados, Grilled Tempeh, his mom's Tabbouleh, Mushroom Tacos, and Vegan Sushi rolls, and grape juice.

Duke Thomas

Duke is like, freakishly good with a piano, and he picked it up naturally!

Also everyone says Tim brews the best pot of coffee in the Bat Family, cue to everyone's surprise when Tim was sick one day and couldn't make a pot. Only to find the coffee was freaking amazing. Duke didn't take any credit at first until Alfred let it slip that Duke was the one who brewed the pot.

Duke being the only Meta of the family originally thought he was the double-token because he was a Meta and a black boy. Needless to say his fears were seriously unfounded the moment he got to know everyone.

Although he somewhat fears Jason and his temper initially, he and Jason have one of the closest relationships in the family. If Tim isn't around to bat for Jason, Duke will happily take his spot. The two work on each other's bikes and grew to share the same taste in music.

Duke uses his Photokenetic powers as a force for good and for shenanigans. Jason wants to play a prank on Dick and Damian while Dick is reading Damian a story? Duke will hide Jason in the shadows and will cover up his shadow. Alfred dropped something in the dark? You better believe Duke will find it in 3 seconds or less.

Duke makes it a point to visit his parents every weekend to talk to them. Although they are making some progress in their recoveries, it's still slow going. Eventually, he starts bringing members of the family to see his parents. It started with Cass, then Jason, and the rest followed suit.

Duke loves playing video games with Damian and even helps Damian beat some tougher levels when Damian is about to rage and destroy the console.

Duke is into Magic the Gathering and you cannot tell me otherwise. Duke also is the DM for the Bat Kids annual D&D games. I can and will make a D&D Batfam Headcanons if asked.

Loves Pho just as much as Cass and Tim and they all call it a date night every now and then where they can go to a hole in the wall pho place. It's really a secret between the three of them.

DUKE THOMAS IS THE BEST SWIMMER OF THE BAT BOYS AND I WILL DIE ON THIS HILL. HE JUST THRIVES IN THE WATER.

Finding out his birth father is a supervillain was really tough for him. He went into a shell for a little bit afterwards. Cass and Steph were there to help talk him out of his funk.

Duke Thomas's favorite foods (lol what canon DC hasn't acknowleged our boy in a while..) Chicken Pho, Thai Iced Tea, Papaya, Crab Cakes, Italian Hoagies, his mom's Lemon Poundcake, mint chocolate chip ice cream.

I hope y'all enjoyed! Up next (eventually) will be the Bat Girls!

[aki-mochi]

Levi x Reader: New Life

WARNING: contains language and mentions of prostitution.

This takes place in the Underground.

Being a teenager wasn't easy, especially if they lived in the Underground City where you had to fight to survive. Literally. Levi huffed as he wiped the blood off his cheek from beating another man to tried to talk shit about his late mom. As he turned down into an alleyway, a few men were seen hovering around something as they talked as he got closer, he could hear their conversation and decided to hide behind a barrel to eavesdrop.

"Think we should sell this little girl in the black market to pay for our next meal?"

"Nah, we should teach her a lesson for stealing from us" he partner said as his knuckles were cracked in the process, ready to beat the shit out of the girl they had cornered.

"You pigs didn't need all that food since you're already fat enough!" the girl yelled as she tried to stay brave.

"You little bitch!" the man yelled as he raised his fist as it made contact to her cheek.

The girl fell to the ground due to the force as she held her cheek in pain. Tears welled up in her eyes but refused to let them fall. She shakily got back up to her feet and glared at the men in front of her. "Y-You punch like an old lady! That didn't hurt at all! You're weak!"

"This kid just doesn't know when to stay down. Very well, you'll get what you asked for" the man growled as he went to punch the girl again.

She just stood there, waiting for the impact but it never came as a knife had been thrown into the man's head, killing him on the spot. His body collapsed onto the ground while his partner's throat was slit open by another blade. She watched in horror as blood splattered all over her clothes and face. Backing up to the worn down wall, her legs gave out as she slid to the ground, terrified of the bloodbath she had just witnessed. The person's shadow came closer to her shaking form before it appeared under the streetlight.

"You ok, kid?" Levi asked.

All she could respond with was a nod.

"So, you stole their food?"

"Th-they had a mountain of food on their plates....and I haven't eaten in days...." she whimpered as she held her hollow stomach.

At that, Levi finally got a good look at her form. She looked no older than ten. Her frame was all boney and sick looking, her ribs were probably showing under that oversized tattered shirt, hair all matted, dirty and probably overgrown. He looked just like he did before Kenny had found him after his mother died. He couldn't let her suffer the way he almost did, and based on her appearance, she doesn't have any parents either. With a small sigh, Levi knelt to her level on the ground and offered a hand.

"Come with me. I'll help you get your strength back but you gotta help clean and help me hunt when you do, ok?"

She stared at his hand before shakily reaching her own boney hand out to take it. Once she did, Levi helped her onto his back and started to carry her back to his place.

"You have a name?" he asked.

"(Y-Y/n)....it's just (Y/n)..." she whispered tiredly.

"(Y/n), huh? I'm Levi. Go ahead and sleep, it'll take a bit to get home."

'A home...? Sounds nice....' (Y/n) thought before she drifted to sleep.

Levi glanced back at her sleeping form before sneaking into alleys and back roads to keep out of sight, wondering what his life will be like now that he has a partner to survive with,

~Several Years Later~

Years have passed and Levi and (Y/n) have done well surviving the hell hole they live in. The constant struggles of earning money, stealing food when they couldn't afford any, kicking other thug's asses. It's hard, yes, but they have each other's backs and company when all felt wrong. Levi comes in the house and finds (Y/n) asleep on the loveseat with her legs hanging over the armrest. Lately, he's noticed how tired and sore she'll be during the day and how she would go earn money at night. One day, she went to bend over to pick up a cup that she accidently dropped but had hissed in pain while placing a hand at her lower back. Going to help and ask what was wrong, she waved at him saying she had lifted too many crates for an old man. Levi knew she saw lying since her lips always moved when she does but didn't say anything else.

Walking over to her, he shook her shoulder. "Oi. (Y/n). Wake up, lazy brat."

(E/c) eyes fluttered open as a yawn escaped her mouth. She stretched her stiff limbs before sitting up and rubbing her neck "Do you have to call me lazy everytime I take a nap?" she mumbled.

"Yes, I do. Now get up. I brought food and it's your night to cook."

"Damn it....alright alright. Just give me the bag already." she sighed as she took the bag from his hands and went to the kitchen to see what all he had brought. As She was sorting through the ingredients, Levi stood and watched in the doorway with his arms crossed before hearing her speak up while her back was turned to him.

"So....Kal s-said there's an open spot at-" she was cut off by a fist punching the wall.

"I don't want to hear it, (Y/n)! You promised that you wouldn't sell your body to disgusting men and be a prostitute!"

she turned to him "But Levi-"

"No buts! You're not doing it! I forbid you!" he seethed with a dark glare.

An audible gulp was heard and nothing else was said as she continued to figure out what she could make in silence. Sudden footsteps made their way over to the young woman before stopping right behind her as arms made their way around her waist.

"L-Levi...?"

"I know you want to help but I can't let you do it. You know about my mom and how she died. I don't want it to happen to you too." He said softly with his chin on her shoulder.

(Y/n) sighed but rested her hands on his arms, rubbing her thumb on his skin. "Alright....I won't do it."

"Good. Now, finish dinner while I get cleaned up." With that, his gave her cheek a soft kiss before letting go of her waist and leaving to clean up the non-existent dirt off of him. (Y/n)'s cheeks went ablaze as she held a hand to the cheek he had kissed. She felt happy but she knew that he will find out about her secret job soon and it would tear him apart.

~A few weeks later~

(Y/n) knew that once Levi had cleaned and put away his knife he goes straight to bed. As she watched and made sure he wasn't going to come out anytime soon, she grabbed her bag and quietly sneaked out of their house, making sure to lock it so he wouldn't get on her ass about 'forgetting to lock the door before bed'. Looking around for any stalkers, she quietly made her way down a street, unknowing of a person hiding in the shadows watching her every move.

After turning a few corners here and there, she finally arrived at her destination. She looked up at the sign and cringed in utter disgust, loathe, and regret.

Kal's Prostitute Service.

With a deep breath, (Y/n) reached for the doorknob only for it to be roughly snatched away by a hand. With a gasp, she was forcefully turned around and now staring into the fuming eyes of a very pissed Levi.

"L-Levi, I can explain-"

"You're damn fucking right you'll explain. You're coming home. Right. Now."

At that, he forcefully dragged her by the arm, ignoring her whimpers and protests of how he was hurting her wrist. He was fuming. Raging with anger. He didn't know where to start. She promised him she wouldn't do it. Why the hell would she break her promise?

When he got there, he slammed open the front door and tossed her inside. She landed on the hard floor with a gasp before turning to look up at him. She's seen him angry before, but fucking hell, he was terrifying right now. With a gulp, she sat up a bit with a small tremble of fear.

"L-Levi please let me explain..."

"Explain what?! You went behind my back and did things you promised you wouldn't do! What fucking reason do you have for going back on your word?!"

"I had to! I couldn't stay at home while you did all the work anymore! I wanted to help!"

"You knew how I felt about you doing this shit! Why did you do it?!"

"B-Because..."

"Because what?!"

"Because I did it so we could get our citizenships to live up on the surface instead of this shithole!"

Levi stopped in his tracks and just stared at her. That was her reason? To help get the both of you to the city above them? Tears watered her eyes and spilled down her cheeks as she continued.

"I-I had to....I hate seeing you struggle and come home tired and dirty....I couldn't stand it anymore....s-so I took the job of being a-a prostitute.....only until we got the money to get out of this place and have a little extra to get the things we'll need....I couldn't stand being useless anymore, Levi. I-I'm so sorry...!"

She curled up on her spot on the floor and sobbed into her knees with her hands in her hair as Levi watched her, hearing her apologize over and over again through her hiccups. His anger burned out like a fire without air and carefully went over to her shaking form. When he kneeled down to her height, his arms encircled her form, making her tense as her sobs suddenly paused.

"How much...?" he asked softly.

"H-huh...?"

"How much do you have saved up?"

"M-More than enough to get us past the gate a-and to get our citizenship....I've asked around...and someone told me the prices......I saved twice as much than what we needed..." she explained.

He held her closer. "I'm sorry for getting so mad. I was just worried that I would lose you just like mom. I'm still not happy that you went behind my back....but I'm happy that you and I will get to live a better life up there."

(Y/n) blinked before she smiled through her tears and hugged him back. They both stayed like that for a small while before Levi pulled back with his signature glare. "Now, I'm all dirty."

That made (Y/n) laugh.

~Timeskip~

A few weeks had passed and Levi and (Y/n) had finally settled in their new home on the surface after buying some new furniture for it. And, of course, brooms. Levi couldn't forget the brooms. While Levi spent the days cleaning and organizing their new place, (Y/n) ran a small stand in the market. She had a big surprise for Levi. As the sun was starting to set, all the other stands were closing down, meaning (Y/n) could go home and have the day off tomorrow since her boss knew of her surprise. As she quickly packed up her stuff, she ran down the familiar street she takes everyday and soon made it home. With a smile, she went inside and placed her bag in its normal spot that Levi made just for her.

"I'm home~!"

Levi peeked his head from the kitchen and hummed before walking over to her. "You seem happy. What's the occasion?"

"You'll see tomorrow. Boss gave me the day off because of it."

"Oh? Then it must be a big surprise if you get an entire day off for it."

"Mhm! You'll love it~" she smiled.

"I enjoy everything that you give me, (Y/n)" he said as he ruffled her hair, making her whine in protest. Levi only chuckled and went back to the kitchen to finish the food he was preparing.

The next day, everything went smoothly until she had suddenly finished all her cleaning early before noon and had told Levi to get ready for his surprise. With a grunt, he got up from his spot on the couch and slipped on his boots as he waited for the woman to grab whatever she needed. Once she was back, the two headed out and began to walk. When they turned down a specific street, (Y/n) went behind him and covered his eyes, making him mumble a few curse words.

"Calm down, I'll make sure you won't fall. Just trust me." she smiled.

"Alright, fine. Hurry up, though. I don't like not seeing where I'm going." he huffed.

(Y/n) only giggled and carefully led him to a specific building before uncovering his eyes. In front of him was a small tea shop. And it wasn't no ordinary tea shop either. Inside was clearly cleaned to where it shined and several different types of tea was displayed neatly behind the counter with a good few table sets were evenly spread out enough where people can walk. He noticed that no one was here so he turned to her.

"You brought me to a tea shop with no one here?"

"Nooooooo. I brought you to your tea shop! You said you've always wanted to open one so, Ta-da~!" she grinned.

Levi was flabbergasted. The tea shop is his? He looked at her before suddenly pulling her in for a sweet kiss. (Y/n) tensed and turned a dark shade of red before slowly returning the gesture as her arms found themselves around his neck with his around her waist. The kiss lasted for a minute before Levi pulled back.

"I love it. And I love you. Thank you for everything." he smiled.

"You're welcome. And I love you too, Levi."

"I'm glad. Now, let's go see what kind of tea we have."

(Y/n) laughed at this but followed him inside as their new lives have only just begun.

[cocastyle]

Robin — FOUR

Paring - Joel Dawson x reader

Word Count - 5,264

A/N - another update! sorry it took so long! I’ve been sooooo busy and it’s finals week so I’m closing up the semester. I hope to start getting into a regular—ish schedule soon!

if you would like to be added to the tag list, let me know!

ROBIN

Robin Series Masterlist

⭒❃.✮:▹ FOUR   ◃:✮.❃⭒

"Weakness: dogs," Joel muttered, his eyes flickering over the page he was working on. On it was a small picture of Boy attacking the creature they had fought yesterday, but his gaze fell upon the drawing that he had added at the last moment. One that looked a lot like the girl that was currently still sleeping beside him and was holding katanas in the air. Smiling softly, the boy scribbled down another word before whispering, "And Robin."

Joel glanced over at his best friend at that, his eyes slowly tracing over her face while his smile softened a little at the sight of her. He stared at her for a moment longer before turning his attention over to Boy who was watching him. "That's you," Joel said as he gestured towards the dog drawing in his journal. "It's a little rough around the edges, but that's what I get for attempting to draw with one arm."

Joel looked back at Y/N at that, smiling softly as he glanced down at his arm which she was currently resting on. He hadn't wanted to move it in fear of her waking up, so he had just been very careful and maneuvered his body so that he could draw with just one hand while the girl slept.

Boy titled his head and Joel chuckled softly as he closed his book and set it aside. "You wouldn't happen to have a power source to a ham radio in here, would you?" Joel asked as he peaked over the girl's shoulder at the dog, making sure to talk quietly so he wouldn't wake Y/N up. "'Cause I have a. . ." Boy lowered his head and the boy frowned. "Never mind."

Joel laid his head back against the pillow again, letting his other arm wrap back around Y/N’s waist as he soaked in the moment for a little bit longer. He wasn't sure how long it would be before they were able to find another place to rest that had a bed or a couch. Maybe that's why he had let Y/N sleep for as long as he had. It's definitely not because he liked getting to have her this close.

Nope. Not at all.

Although he would be lying if he said he hadn't gotten the best sleep of his life last night.

Soon enough it would be Aimee he would be sleeping with like this, Joel reminded himself. And at that thought, he knew it was time to get up and moving again if he hoped to be reunited with Aimee soon.

Sighing, Joel let his gaze fall upon Y/N once again and he smiled as he reached over and gently poked her face like he used to when they were younger. "Robin," he whispered. "Wake up." She let out a small groan and turned before nestling her face against his neck, an action that made him freeze momentarily while his cheeks became a tinge pink. "Robin, you got to get up. We need to get going."

Y/N let out a small sigh, her breath fanning against his neck and sending chills down his spine. "Not a morning person, remember?" she muttered.

"I know, but the sooner we get going, the sooner we get to Aimee," he reminded her. "And the sooner we get to Aimee, the sooner you can get back to sleeping in."

Y/N leaned back at that and opened an eye to look at the boy. Their faces were mere inches apart and she felt her heart skip a beat because of the fact, but like always, Joel didn't seem fazed. "You make a compelling argument," she finally said before letting out a sigh. "Fine. I'm up."

Joel grinned at that and Y/N let out a huff as she sat up and stretched, the movement finally allowing Joel to move both of his arms once again. The two pulled themselves up off of the makeshift bed after that and they got ready and picked up their things.

It wasn't long before they were both standing in front of Boy with their backpacks on their back once again. The dog looked back up at them, his eyes never leaving their own which made Y/N frown slightly. She bent down and Boy trotted over to her, allowing the girl to pet him while Joel watched with a soft smile.

His eyes flickered around the bus one last time before hesitating on a small object laying on a table. He was quick to pick it up, his smile widening as he said, "Huh. Look, Robin. Lipstick."

Said girl looked up and hummed in response before getting distracted by Boy once again, the dog licking her face while Y/N softly laughed. Joel continued to look at the lipstick before saying, "Aimee. Hey, would you mind if I kept this?" He looked to Boy who merely glanced at him before turning back to Y/N. "Thanks."

"All right, well. . ." Joel began, letting out a sigh as he shoved the lipstick into his bag. "This is it. Thanks for having us. I should. . .stop talking to a dog."

Y/N chuckled and looked up at Joel. "Probably," she teased earning a playful glare from the boy.

Joel held his hand out and Y/N took it before he helped her back up onto her feet. He squeezed her hand once before letting go and giving Boy a small wave. "Okay. We'll see ya," Joel said. He then began to walk towards the bus door, Y/N smiling one last time towards Boy before following after her friend.

Joel opened the bus door and hesitated as he looked out. Y/N stuck her head out beside him, the two both looking around before she said, "Looks clear." Joel nodded in agreement and hopped out of the bus. Y/N right behind him.

They started to walk off in the direction they had been heading the day before, but Y/N couldn't help but glance back at the bus with a small frown on her face. Joel noticed this almost instantly and frowned as well before gently nudging her arm. "What's wrong?" he questioned, his eyes flickering over her face in concern.

"I'm just. . ." the girl hesitantly flickered her gaze back towards Joel and sighed. "I'm just going to miss Boy. It was kind of nice being able to see a dog after all this time."

Joel gave her a sympathetic smile. "I know what you mean," he told her before wrapping an arm around her shoulders and pulling her close to him as he squeezed her comfortingly. "After we get to Aimee's colony I'll make it my next priority to find a dog just for you, okay?"

"Cause finding a dog will be that easy," Y/N muttered with a small roll of her eyes and the beginnings of a smile starting to appear on her face.

"All I need to know is that the dog will be for you and it'll be easy no matter how long it takes," Joel assured her. "If Boy could make it this long, then there are bound to be more. Besides—"

However, Joel was quickly cut off by the sound of the bus doors opening up behind them. The two friends froze and Joel let his arm drop back down to his side as they turned to look back at the bus where they could now see Boy sitting in the entrance. He barked instantly and their eyes widened in alarm.

"Oh, hey, hey, hey!" the best friends exclaimed, both of them putting their arms up in alarm as they attempted to hush the dog.

"No, no, no. None of that," Joel insisted. "Something might hear you."

Boy stared at them for a moment before exiting the bus and walking over to them. Y/N glanced towards Joel, the two sharing a look before looking back at Boy.

"You. . .you wanna come with us?" Y/N offered, her eyes flickering over the dog who titled his head and sat down at her words.

"Okay. You can come," Joel replied, smiling softly before glancing towards Y/N. He gave her a small wink. "Found you a dog, Robin."

Y/N rolled her eyes and playfully shoved the boy making him laugh while Boy just watched them. "Let's go," Joel said after he managed to calm down his laughter. "Come on."

Y/N and Joel both turned to begin their walk once again, but Boy ran back into the bus. The two hesitated, turning back to the bus in confusion before Boy came running back out with the red dress in his mouth. Y/N put a hand over her heart, her gaze turning towards Joel who momentarily locked eyes with her before looking back down at Boy.

"Yeah, we can bring that. You want me to put it in my bag?" Joel questioned. He reached down to grab the dress but Boy instantly growled. "Okay. It's okay. I'm gonna keep it safe. I promise." Boy reluctantly let go and Joel nodded slightly before stuffing it in his backpack. "Going in the safe backpack. See? Okay, you ready?"

Boy wagged his tail and Y/N instantly smiled before kneeling down on the ground to pet the dog and give him a hug. Boy began licking her face and Y/N let out a small laugh while Joel watched them fondly. "Let's go. Come on," Joel told them. The girl looked up at him and he smiled before holding his hand out. The girl took it and he helped her up onto her feet before they began walking off once again, Y/N swinging their hands between them in an exaggerated way while Boy barked happily and followed behind them.

"Okay, that's really gonna have to stop," Joel insisted as he glanced back at the dog. Y/N chuckled and Joel looked her way, his eyes flickering over her face before down to their hands which she was still swinging between them. "I've said it before and I'll say it again, but we're kind of like Batman and Robin. I'm obviously Batman, but don't worry. Robin's pretty cool too."

Y/N playfully rolled her eyes and let go of Joel's hand in order to wrap her arms around his shoulders in a small sort of lazy hug as they walked, a thoughtful look upon her face as she asked, "What does that make Boy?"

Joel glanced her way and she let one arm drop in order to gesture towards the two of them. "If we're Batman and Robin, then what does that make Boy?" she repeated, now pointing towards the dog who was happily trotting along beside them.

Joel hesitated a moment before asking, "Have you ever heard of Bat-Hound?" Y/N shook her head, her arms falling back down to her side as she walked beside the boy. "Bat-Hound isn't really well known anyways, but he was in a few things. He was the canine crime-fighting partner of Batman and Robin for a little while. So Boy could be our Bat-Hound."

Y/N smiled softly and looked down at Boy before whispering, "Batman, Robin, and Bat-Hound." Her gaze flickered up to Joel who turned his head to look back at her. She flashed him that smile of hers before saying, "I like it."

Joel smiled back at that, his hand gently reaching out to grab ahold of her own and give it a small squeeze. Batman, Robin, and Bat-Hound.

He liked the sound of that too.

- - -

As time began to slip by, Y/N found herself feeling happier than she had in a really long time. They may have monsters to stay away from and they found themselves having to fight, but they were back on the surface. They were together and they had Boy. It was almost like she was back in the good old days before the apocalypse and Aimee, the days where it had just been her and Joel.

Sometimes she wished she could go back to those times. Everything had been so much simpler then.

Her heart hadn't been broken yet.

Y/N had to remind herself every once in a while that they were traveling so that Joel could reunite with Aimee, but when she wasn't thinking about that, she was enjoying the time she had left with her best friend. The conversations that they had, the moments where they took a break just to sit and pet Boy while they softly whispered to each other, the adrenaline coursing through their veins as they ran hand in hand to hide from monsters before bursting out into laughter once they realized how ridiculous they were. It all made her wonder why they hadn't tried living on the surface years ago.

"Robin," Joel said, elbowing the girl in her side and managing to throw her out of her thoughts. The girl winced slightly and looked to Joel who gave her an apologetic smile. "Sorry, look." She followed where he was pointing to a bush of berries. Her eyes widened while Joel was already jogging over to them.

He picked a few off and tossed them to Y/N and whispered, "Sustenance. Perfect." He began to try and peel off some more while Boy nipped at his leg and Y/! stared at the berries in her hands. "Ow. Ow! Ow!" Boy grabbed his pant leg and began pulling on him. "What. . .What are you doing?" Boy let him go and started barking while Joel furrowed his eyebrows and stared closer at the berries.

"But they look so good." Joel held it up to the light and frowned at the sight of the dark lines within. They were poisonous. One bite and he would die without question. "Yeah, you know what? I don't think I should eat these."

"Shit, Boy. He was so close to eating those. Why'd you stop him?" Y/N asked in a teasing manner, having already dropped hers once she noticed the way Boy was acting. Joel feigned hurt and threw a berry at her which Y/N quickly dodged.

She stood back up with her mouth open in surprise before saying, "Joel, did you just throw poisonous fruit at me? I thought we were best friends."

Joel just rolled his eyes with a small smile on his face as he dropped the rest of the berries and began to walk away. However, he didn't get far before something hit the back of his head. Joel stopped instantly and frowned as he turned around to see a berry now on the ground beside him.

Joel glanced up at Y/N who smirked as she wiped off her hands and said, "Now we're even." She then walked pass Joel without a second though and called out, "Come on, Boy." Boy was quick to run after her and Joel stared after the two for a moment before smiling softly and shaking his head as he jogged after them.

"Hey! Wait up!"

- - -

Dear Aimee,

Guess what? Robin and I got a dog, and he's the coolest. His name is Boy.

He helped Robin save my life from a giant frog in a pool who tried to eat me with his tongue. And then we hung out on his bus.

Man, do the three of us make a great team.

We found out we have like a ton in common too. Boy fits right in with me and Robin. I feel like the three of us can talk about anything.

You got to see us out here. We're like this iconic trio.

I don't know. Feels like when we're together, we're unstoppable.

It's crazy the things you forget about the world. Like the smells. The grass, the trees, the flowers. I had almost forgotten what Robin was like outside the bunker. But seeing her out in the world again, the sun lighting up her eyes while her personality flows around her like the wind in her hair. I hadn't realized how much the bunker seemed to suppress who she really was. And seeing her back to herself is something I would never want to see be taken away ever again.

I mean, sure, you get the occasional bloody corpse, but—

Joel let out a yell of surprise as the floor suddenly gave way below him. Before he knew it, he was falling down and hitting the ground with a loud thump, his notebook which he had been writing in going flying down beside him.

"Joel!" Y/N yelled out, Boy barking alongside her as the two scrambled over to the hole and looked down. Joel let out a groan from where he was laying before blinking his eyes open.

"I'm okay," he muttered, slowly pulling himself up onto his feet and wiping the dust from his clothes. He stuck his notebook into his backpack before taking in his surroundings, a frown appearing on his face as he whispered, "Oh, no. I fell in a hole."

"You'd make a much better Captain Obvious than a Batman," Y/N stated, a teasing smile playing on her lips while she pulled her backpack off and began rummaging around for something she could use to help the boy.

Joel sarcastically laughed from below. "I always did love you for your humor," he shot back earning a wink from the girl in response. Joel looked away at that, the corners of his lips tugging up into a small smile. "Okay, I just gotta. . .climb out. I can climb out."

"You work on doing that while I actually try and find something to pull you out. I could've sworn I packed some rope. . ." Y/N muttered. She then hesitated before whispering, "Or was that on the last hunting mission?"

"Uh. . .Robin," Joel called out, his voice pulling the girl from her thoughts as she hummed in response. "Are there any monsters that dig holes like this one? Maybe some that dig a series of holes connecting together?"

"Yeah?" Y/N said in a confused voice before her eyes widened in realization. "You're not alone down there. . .are you?"

"I don't think so," Joel admitted, his voice a little softer. The girl was quick to peak over the side of the hole, her eyes scanning the area with more attention than she had before. She could see a system of holes all connecting to the bigger one that Joel had fallen into and the closer she looked, the more she could see the dozens of bones lining the floor.

Y/N’s breath hitched in her throat and Joel tensed a little at the sound. "Joel," she whispered, her voice a little shaky. "Don't move."

"Don't move? Why? What's happening? What's down here with me?" Joel asked, his voice growing more panicked by the second.

"Joel, you need to calm down. Don't worry. I'm going to get you out of there," Y/N assured him before disappearing from up above.

Joel looked up with a panicked look flashing across his face. "Robin?" he asked, his voice growing shaky as he felt his anxiety start to take over. "Oh, no. This is bad." His eyes locked onto Boy. "Oh, this is so bad." Boy began to bark and Joel's eyes widened, "Stop. Stop it! Shh. Stop it!"

He could hear the rustling of a creature at this point coming from one of the holes right in front of him. His hands shook a little as he turned his gaze towards the hole. "Robin?" he called out again. "Please, come back. Batman kind of needs his backup right now!"

The rustling suddenly grew silent and Joel froze, his eyes flickering over each of the holes before he felt the hair on the back of his neck stand on end. The sound was now coming from directly behind him and for a moment Joel felt as if he might pass out.

He didn't know why he did it, but Joel found himself turning to look at the very hole that the noise was coming out of. Before he knew what was happening a worm looking creature came lunging out at him and Joel had to quickly jump out of the way before its teeth could sink into his face.

Joel fell to the ground and against the pile of bones. "Robin!" Joel yelled out as he desperately grabbed ahold of one of the bones before getting back up onto his feet. He could hear the noises all around him now and his hands shook due to his own nerves. "Y/N!"

Then, right as a few of the monsters were about to jump out at him something fell from up above and wrapped around his hands. Joel let out a yell and tried to get whatever it was off of him, but stopped as soon as he got a closer look at it. It seemed it be—

"It's a rope, you numbskull!" a male voice yelled out causing Joel to blink in surprise before looking up. He could now see Y/N up above with a young girl and an older looking man.

"Joel!" Y/N exclaimed, her eyes wide with fear. "Put it around your foot and grab on! Hold on tight!"

Joel did as she said, his eyes widening as the worm creatures began piling out of the holes without hesitation. "Okay, come on! Hold on!" the man told him as he began pulling Joel up. "Pull up!"

Y/N was at the top with her crossbow in hand. Her breathing was heavy, her heart beating erratically in her chest as she started shooting at the creatures that got too close to the boy for her liking. As soon as Joel had grabbed ahold of the land up above, Y/N was pulling out her katanas and jumping over him in order to slice at the few worms that had managed to make it out.

The man pulled Joel further back and exclaimed, "You wanna look at 'em? Oh, shit! That girl of yours is slicing them up like their sushi!"

Joel managed to look up, his eyes locking onto Y/N as she sliced through each of the worms as if it were nothing. One flew by her, but the man pulled out a machete without hesitation and sliced through it, nodding towards Y/N who quickly returned it while the young girl ran over to the two with a small object in hand.

"Minnow, finish 'em off," the man said. The girl nodded and threw the object into the hole before grabbing ahold of Y/N’s hand and pulling her back.

"One, two, three, four and. . ." Minnow fell silent as an explosion rang out from below, throwing dirt and work guts up into the air. Joel's eyes widened as he realized it had been a grenade while Y/N began to grin.

"Are we. . ." Joel began only to get a chunk of worm guys tossed at his face. He hesitated and spat it away.

"Always count to five," Minnow told him while Y/N rushed past her and over to Joel. She knelt beside him on the ground and chuckled softly as she reached out to pull the worm guts away from his face. She tossed them to the side and Joel gave her a thankful look.

"You okay?" she whispered, her hand reaching out to gently rest upon his shoulder. Joel's eyes locked with her own for a moment before he nodded his head. Y/N let out a small sigh of relief and squeezed the boy's shoulder once before looking back towards Minnow and the man.

"Was that a samurai sword?" Joel asked, his eyes narrowing at the two strangers while he sat up and leaned closer to Y/N in an almost protective manner.

"Why'd you fall into a Sandgobbler's nest?" Minnow questioned.

"I didn't mean to, you know. I was just. . .I was walking," Joel replied.

"He wasn't paying attention," Y/N clarified, winking playfully at the boy as she pulled herself back up onto her feet and shoved her katanas into her backpack. "Too busy writing letters in his notebook to see the big hole in front of him."

"Hey!" Joel complained.

"What's your name?" the man asked.

"Y/N L/N," the girl replied with a soft smile.

"Joel," the boy replied. "Joel Dawson."

"I'm, uh, Clyde. This is Minnow," the man told them while Minnow gave them a small peace sign in greeting.

"You're lucky we weren't monsters. You were yelling like a girl," Minnow said as she gave a pointed look towards Joel. "Oh, this is bad! This is so bad!" she mimicked in a high squeaky voice.

"Okay, I don't sound like that. My voice is not that high-pitched," Joel insisted.

"Yeah, it is."

"Yes, it is."

"It was higher than mine, and I'm eight," Minnow commented.

Joel frowned and looked to Y/N who just looked away without saying anything. His frown deepened. "Robin," the boy complained. "You're supposed to be on my side."

"Robin? I thought your name was Y/N?" Minnow muttered.

"It is," Y/N replied before holding a hand out for Joel to take. The boy quickly grabbed ahold and she helped him to his feet.

"I just. . .I. . .uh. . .call her Robin," Joel explained, wiping the rest of the monster guts off of his shirt.

"What in God's name are you two doing up here alone anyway?" Clyde asked.

"We're not alone. We have each other and we've got Boy too," Joel insisted as he pointed towards the bush where Boy was currently hiding.

Both Minnow and Clyde were quick to raise their weapons in Boy's direction. "Woah! Hey! No!" Y/N exclaimed as she began running towards Boy.

"Oh, wait, no! No, wait, wait!" Joel cried out, his hands up in the air while he glanced back at Y/N who had now reached the dog. Boy was hiding in the bushes, but as soon as Y/N reached him, he was quick to hurry to her side where the girl began to pet him.

Minnow dropped her weapons almost immediately. "Oh, my God, it's a puppy!" she exclaimed happily. Y/N looked back at the young girl and smiled before gesturing for Boy to go ahead. The dog ran over to Minnow without hesitation and Y/N watched with a fond smile as the young girl began to pet the dog.

Y/N returned to Joel's side with a small sigh of relief while the boy ran a hand through his hair. He looked her way and muttered, "They almost killed our dog."

Our dog.

The words seemed to ring through his head almost instantly and he hesitated as he realized he had just referred to Boy as being their dog. However, a smile was already beginning to take over his features at the idea of Boy being their dog and Y/N was already smiling a little too, her eyes not leaving Boy and Minnow.

"I wouldn't have let them. No one hurts Bat-Hound on my watch," she whispered, her words making Joel smile even more.

"So, uh, what happened with your colony, man?" Clyde asked. "They kick you out?"

"No, I actually left on my own," Joel explained. "Something I had to do."

"And I followed him," Y/N added.

Clyde's eyes flickered over to Joel and he gave him a pointed look. "You stole food, didn't you?" he asked.

"He's a food stealer," Minnow said.

"Yeah," Clyde agreed.

"No, I didn't steal any food," Joel insisted.

"Right," Clyde muttered while Y/N tried to hold back her laughter. Joel nudged her side with his elbow and she just gave him an innocent smile that made him roll his eyes.

"Me and my colony were really close. Like family. Okay? They were super upset that we left. Y/N knows. Ask her," Joel told them.

The two looked to Y/N and she opened her mouth before saying, "He stole food."

Joel's eyes widened in surprise while Minnow held Boy closer and whispered, "I knew it." Y/N let out a loud laugh and leaned against Joel's shoulder while the boy pouted beside her.

"Oh, come on. I'm just messing with you, Dawson," Y/N insisted, winking at the boy and reaching up to fix his messy hair while he looked away with a small blush dusting his cheeks.

Everyone fell silent when a loud noise filled the air. Y/N instantly went rigid, her hands reaching out to grab the hilts of her katanas while she surveyed the area with narrowed eyes. Joel just looked around confused beside her while Clyde and Minnow both straightened up.

"Time to go, Minnow," Clyde said, nudging the girl softly. She quickly rose to her feet and began to walk after Clyde, the two walking away and leaving Y/N and Joel to share a small look.

"Time to go? Why?" Joel asked.

Y/N rolled her eyes. "Why?" she mimicked. "Did you not just hear the ominous noise that filled the air literally a couple of seconds ago? There's obviously a monster on our tracks."

Joel shot her a small look before gazing back in the direction of the noise. "So, what. . .What, uh. . .What was that? What's going on?" Joel asked as he looked back towards Clyde and Minnow who were still walking away. He quickly grabbed Y/N’s hand and dragged her along while Boy ran beside them.

"Could've been a lot of things," Clyde replied.

"Tree Flamer. Herd Stomper. Rockdiver. Limbsnapper. Limpcrusher. And my favorite. . .the Chumbler," Minnow listed off as they began to walk further into the woods.

"Okay, I get it. A lot of. . .A lot of names," Joel muttered.

"Whatever it is, it took your screams for the dinner bell," Clyde explained. "If it's got your scent, it's gonna be on you for a while."

"Shit," Y/N muttered seeing as that wasn't exactly the kind of news you wanted to hear on your journey on the surface. "I told you to stay calm."

"You left me," Joel retorted, pointing at the girl. "How was I not supposed to freak out?"

"I was trying to find you help," Y/N insisted. She looked towards the boy, her eyes locking with his. "I wouldn't have let anything hurt you." Joel watched her for a second, his shoulders relaxing a bit for he knew the girl was right. She never had let anything harm him.

Reaching out, he gently took ahold of her hand and gave it a small squeeze before looking to Clyde and Minnow. "Hey, maybe we could, like, I don't know, come with you guys?" Joel suggested.

Minnow and Clyde both stopped in their tracks before turning around to look at them. Joel was quick to wrap an arm around Y/N’s shoulder, giving the two a big smile while Y/N smiled softly beside him.

Clyde and Minnow looked between the two before glancing towards one another. "Which way you headed?" Clyde asked.

"West," Y/N replied.

"To the coast," Joel furthered. "Jenner Beach."

"Yeah. We're not cutting north just yet," Clyde agreed.

"Not cu—Not cutting north just yet," Joel muttered.

"Come on. Come on," Minnow told them.

Joel's eyes widened in surprise and he smiled before squeezing his arm around Y/N in a small hug of excitement. He then quickly cleared his throat before saying, "Uh. . .yeah. Whatever you want. You guys want us to come, we'll come."

Y/N chuckled softly and shook her head at the boy. "Come on, Batman," she muttered before hurrying after the two.

"Okay, but does my voice really sound like a girl?" Joel asked after her, hurrying behind her with Boy on his heels while Y/N’s laughter filled the air.

And with that, the two were on their way once again, this time with three new members than they had initially started out with.

- - -

Tag List

@simplybarnes @spideysimpossiblegirl @katemusic @eternallyvenus @juliebean247 @trustfundparker @blahhhhhhhaaa @used-avocado @havingagooddream @blogforhoes @weirdowithnobeardo @there-goes-my-sanity @cas-loves-pizza @ezgithechaotic @moonythepluviophile @thanossexual @intoanothermind @ambahlouise @befcresunset @thingfromlove @beautiful-thinking

[20dollarlolita]

Okay, Cricut digitizing tutorial, part 2:

So, as we went with in the last one, anything that's a solid black-and-white image can translate into Cricut, even if it's not a vector image. The Cricut thinks in vector images, but Design Space is good at two things: converting raster images made to be vectors into vectors, and advertising Cricut Access.

So, since I think this is a little easier than vectors, let's make a design in our image editing program. I use GIMP, and I've been using GIMP for over 10 years, and when you insult it, you insult my children, and I don't have to have a Creative Cloud subscription, so we're using GIMP in my tutorial. It's free. I love me some free and open source programs.

I'm aiming this tutorial at people who aren't super familiar with image editing software. If you are familiar, the answer is "if you can do it with your color mode set to a 1 bit indexed color palette and make a transparent background, you're good."

And no, I didn't crop my screenshots. Start by buying and obviously not stealing a stock image of what you want to make.

Somewhere on your screen (on the right if you have GIMP set to default settings), there's a layer box. Make a new transparent layer (it'll default to transparent) above your layer with your image. Select your reference layer and use the lock button that looks like a paintbrush. This will stop you from editing the layer, also accidentally doing this all on the reference layer and making things hard for yourself. Ask me how I know.

If you have keyboard shortcuts set to default, hit your N key to access your pencil tool. Otherwise, grab it out of your toolbox like this.

Your pencil tool, unlike your paintbrush tool, will paint with a hard edge. There's no gray or semitransparent pixels around the outside of your stroke. This makes it look a lot blockier, but it also makes what we're about to do possible.

Pick where you want to start digitizing, and click there. A nice thing about the pencil tool is that it doesn't matter how hard or soft the brush you selected is designed to be. The pencil tool will make it a hard edge.

If you hold down your shift key now, you'll see a little line stretching from your last click down to your current location on your brush. If you click, it'll draw a line between your last click and your current location.

So start shift+clicking your way around the sections you want to draw. This is a lot easier than trying to freehand it, especially if you're not using a tablet. You can make this a little bit blockier than you might think, because the cricut will smooth things out a little bit when it cuts.

Around tight spots, you might need a smaller brush. There's a size option in the lefthand tool box, but you can also press [ for shrinking the brush and ] for making it bigger.

Once you have your area outlined, grab your bucket tool (Shift+B on default keyboard shortcuts) and fill in the areas you've outlined. Since you used the pencil tool and not the paintbrush, it'll fill the whole area up nice and neat.

If it fills your entire canvas when you click, check to make sure that your outline doesn't have holes in it, and make sure that your paint bucket tool is set on "fill similar colors" and not "fill entire area."

Since you're making this image in a single color, you will need to figure out how to make the different parts of the design clear. I like leaving little gaps between the parts. Figuring this part out is really the secret to good digitizing.

Once you have your design made, you can turn off your background layer by clicking the eye next to that layer. (You can also make things easier for yourself by using multiple layers as you digitize). The checkboard background that shows up means that your background is transparent. That's good.

Then, go to your image tag and hit "crop to content." The computer will cut out all that extra space around your image.

You can then export it as a .png file to preserve the transparency. Go into Design Space and open it up. Since you uploaded a transparent file, you won't need to go through the process of deleting your background.

Design Space likes to interpret my png files as GIGANTIC, which I think is GIMP being set to default at 300 ppi and Design Space thinking it's 72ppi. But you can just go into that top bar and shrink it down to something reasonable. You just use the adjustment option in the righthand corner of this screenshot, and you can change it from 35" down to 6".

Remember to never steal stock images and trace them without paying. Obviously I can't encourage that.

Anyway, yes, you can get smoother lines using the pen tool, but if you're going to use the pen tool, you might as well just use an actual vector software. Shift+click is still pretty good and is pretty intuitive and easy.

Coming up later, we'll have actual vector software involved. But remember, if it works, it works. If you do all your cricut digitizing in microsoft paint, and it looks good, it works.

[itsthestutterforme]

Broken Bonds 1/2 (Steve Rogers)

Summary: Steve thought that you died, but really yours parents made you fake your death because they didn't approve of him. You both move on and found your own mates until the cross paths at a gas station.

Characters: Steve Rogers x reader (romantic), Cain x reader (romantic),

Notes: Cain is my own character, A/B/O dynamics, GIF is not mine

--

Steve's POV

Jolting awake, sweat drips down my chest as I swing my legs over the edge of the bed. I peer over my shoulder at my girlfriend, Kaelan, with her arm draped over her face. There's something about her that makes me smile every time that I look at her. All I've had were positive memories.

The thought of mating her has crossed my mind but whenever I would try to bite her mating gland when we have sex, I get a flash back of Y/N. Y/N smiling and dancing around in the rain that she loved to do every time it rained. She didn't care if she had a cold soon after, she would always say that she felt like she was cleansed.

I never knew what she meant by that until she dragged me with her. Y/N was the love of my life and her death hurt worse than shifting for the first time. Losing her was like being cut in half with a chainsaw. There's not a day that goes by when I don't think of Y/N in the morning.

"You okay, baby?" Kaelan asks. "Yeah, I just had a nightmare." I say, running a hand over my face. I feel a shift on the bed and she runs a hand over the dip on my back. She wraps an arm across my collarbone and peppers kiss down my face.

Holding onto her arm, I turn slightly and press a warm kiss on her lips. "You've been having alot of nightmares lately. You wanna talk about it?" She asks. I grab her hand a press a kiss on the back of it but don't respond to her question.

"Well can you at least tell someone about it. Even if it's not me?" I nod and she pulls me back on the bed, lifting a leg over my waist. Laying there with my arm tucked behind my head, looking up at the ceiling, I think of having a road trip.

It'll be good for me and Kaelan to get out of the state for a little while. "Let's go on a road trip," I suggest. "A road trip? To where?" "Anywhere. What's a place you've always wanted to visit?"

She contemplates for a moment before answering, "I've always wanted to stay in a cabin in Colorado," "Is that right? Colorado it is. Let's start packing."

**

We're about five hours in when we decided to stop by Love's gas station to grab some food and stretch our legs. Kaelan wanted to go to the bathroom while I pumped the gas but I know better than to let an unmated Beta roam around by herself.

Not with the amount of Alpha's sniffing in her direction since we parked here. I held off on the gas and accompanied across the street and into the gas station.

This gas station is huge compared to what we're used to in New York. A perk from being in the countryside, there's more room for luxuries like these.

Two alphas block the door with their eyes fixed on Kaelan. She naturally descends behind me and holds onto my arm for measure. Poking out my chest, a growl rumbles in my chest.

"Back off," I spit. "You should know better than to go around flaunting your unmated Beta. She smells too sweet to pass up." One of them retorts.

They both step closer to us and I snap at them, making them chuckle. "You really think you can take both of us by yourself?" "Who says he's alone?" An authorative, female voice booms from behind them.

No one could see her from behind the two men. They were easily beyond 6 feet and they had thick toned muscles that were barely contained by their shirts. What were their parents feeding them? Human hearts for breakfast?

"You've got to be kidding me right?" Another man says with a deeply chuckle. "You'll be surprised." The woman says. I was so caught up with being the barrier between the Alphas and Kaelan, that I didn't even pick up the familiar scent that is currently filling my nose.

Y/N steps out from behind the two Alphas with a marked Beta has her side. My mouth falls open in disbelief. She died right in my arms. I heard her heart stop, there is no way she's alive.

"Y/N?" I say but she doesn't look to me. Her eyes narrow at the two Alphas, rolling her shoulder back. She was posing to intimidate.

"Hey, take whatever this is outside." The clerk says. They glance to him before Y/N pushes passed them with her hand conjoined with her mates. Pain pierces my chest when I see the bite mark across her mating gland. Even her scent smells a little different.

She's alive and she moved on without me. "Let's go, you can find another gas station." She says without looking at me. "Steve," Kaelan says, pulling my arm. Looking into her eyes, her scent spikes as fear weighs on her face.

She makes herself small under the Alpha's gaze and Y/N opens the door and her mate walks through. She keeps the door open and motions us to walk through with her head. Kaelan drags me outside and I continued to stare at Y/N who refuses to look at me, and it makes my blood boil.

She growls at the Alphas before closing the door in their faces. She grabs her mates hand and quickly advances towards her car. "Y/N, stop!" I find myself saying and she stops in her tracks. I let go of Kaelan's hand but she follows close behind.

"Where have you been?" I ask her and still refused to look at me. I grab her chin and make her meet my gaze her Y/E/C eyes dilate into saucers. Her spiked scent encapsulates my nose and when my eyes glaze over the bite on her mating gland, my jaw clenches.

"Look at me, where have you been?" I say softly. "Let's talk at my house," she finally says. I nod and she pulls away from me, giving a glance at her mate before they both pile into the car. She waits until Steve was behind her to pull out into the driveway.

We pull on to a white paved driveway that led to a black loft surrounded by trees. Y/N hops out of the car with her mate close behind. He looks over at me and keeps a possessive arm around Y/N's waist.

"Who is she?" Kaelan asks. "She was my first mate," I say, she scoots towards the edge of her seat and further away from me.

She crosses her arms around her frame and asks, "I thought she was dead," "She was. I.. I thought she was but clearly isn't, and I need answers." I explain.

Hopping out of the car, I advance towards the open door and look over my shoulder to Kaelan. She stays in the car and I turn around to get her. "Come on, honey," "What if you fall in love with her again?" She says, rubbing the sides of her arms nervously.

"You'll still be in my life, Kaelan." "Is that why you didn't mate me yet? Because you're still in love with her?" Tears brim in her eyes and guilt weighs on my chest. "Honey," I start. "Go inside, I'll be there in a minute." She interupts, turning away from my touch.

A heavy sigh leaves my lips before I close the car door. I give her one last glance before walking into the house. There was a soft scent of vanilla in the house. Looking around, the walls and counter tops looked more bare than what I'm used to. Everything was minimalistic. It looked lifeless.

I walk down the hallway and turn the corner into the kitchen to see Y/N putting a pan full of boiling water on the stove. "Y/N, can't we just talk alone?" I ask, leaning my back against the counter. "I can't," "Why not?" "Because I have a mate now. And I can't just abandon him."

"I was your mate first," I say, making her eyes narrow at me. "But you won't be abandoning her. I just want answers." Y/N sighs and matches my body language.

"What happened, Y/N?" "My parents.. they never liked you and they believed you would bring shame to our family and believe I would bring shame to the family by bringing you in the first place."

"So they made you fake your death?" I ask and Y/N nods, her curly hair bouncing slightly with the movement. "And they think that beta is better for the family image than me?" I ask. She bites her bottom lip nervously and says, "That beta has a name, and it's Cain."

"You didn't answer my question." "Look me in the eyes and tell me that you love him more than me." I add and she furrows her brow as she crosses her arms over her chest. "When did you compare yourself to people?" "When they took the love of my life away from me," I snap.

"I've built a life with him, Steve." My eyes widen as they travel down to her stomach. "No I'm not pregnant," she answers. "Then what's holding you back?" I ask, boxing her against counter in one stride.

"Steve," she warns but I just couldn't help myself. Her hands press back against the countertop and growled defensively. "Stop it. Stop fighting what your body is telling you," I say softly cupping her cheeks and rubbing my nose against hers.

Her growl seized to a purr as she buries her face into my neck and inhales my scent. Burying my face into her neck, she chirps when I softly kiss her pulse point. "I missed you," she whimpers and she wraps her around my neck.

She winces and she fell to her knees. "What's wrong?" "It hurts" she cries out, clutching her mating gland. "Let me see," I say and she hesitantly pulls away. I blink various times when seeing the bite on her mating gland disappeared into her skin.

I run my thumb over it and felt no grooves of a bite mark. It was like the bite never existed. "What happened? What did you see?" She asks. "Your mark, it's gone." "How?" "I don't know, let's call the doctor."

[urmommalovesmemore]

Why you?...

Pietro maximoff x male reader x bestfriend! Oc

Warnings: Angst, death, crying

Summary: m/n, his bestfriend Gracie, pietro and the rest of the avengers go on a mission, m/n and gracie were just joking around until something bad happens... that messes up everything.

I threw the tennis ball up in the air again and caught it when it came back down doing that a few more times until right when it was about to come back down it was hit out of the air. I looked over at my bestfriend and saw her looking right back at me with a small smirk. I smacked her shoulder with a smile and got up out of my seat in the quinjet to get the ball.

We were going on a mission, to fight some hydra people.. again. Like the 5th time this month. Its gonna be pretty easy, its just hydra and besides, me, pietro, and gracie working against humans without powers? Easy. (We love getting jinxed 😻)

I sat back down in my seat and threw the ball at gracies head and it bounced back at me, and I caught it. I chuckled and kept the ball in my hand this time. She punched my leg and I punched her in the arm right back.

We both started punching eachother but laughing while we did it. "Children, children please. Spare us from your useless bickering." Tony said from where he was sitting. "Says you, Tony. You fight with steve every hour." I said with a smile

He rolled his eyes but didn't deny it. I looked to my left at pietro and noticed he looked a bit nervous. "Hey.. you ok?" I asked concerned. "Yeah I'm fine.. just nervous." He said bouncing his leg. I put my hand on his thigh stopping the bouncing. "Dont worry about it. It'll all be fine. Ok? They don't stand a chance." I said with a smile to encourage him.

"Thanks m/n, I appreciate-" he got cut off. "yeah! M/ns right. And besides. Look at these muscles. Can you tell I've been working out? I might not even need to use my powers!" Gracie said flexing her arms. "Yeah ok, scrawny." I said laughing and pushing her head to the side.

"But seriously. It'll be fine. Don't worry about it." I smiled at him and kissed his forehead. "Thanks m/n." He said and put his hand on mine ontop of his thigh. "No problem, Ro." I said and almost instantly.. "were here." Tony said from the pilot seat. We all got up and stretched before he opened the doors.

When he did, we all went running out the doors.

Time skip

I felt this random pit in my stomach as if something bad was gonna happen. I looked around in every direction to see if I could see anything before I heard "M/N!" And felt myself get pushed to the ground. I immediately looked up when I heard a gunshot and saw...

Gracie.. with a gunshot wound in her stomach. I shot up and instantly took care of the guy that shot her and I caught her when she started to fall. There were tears in my eyes. I was shocked and could barely move, or talk.

"Grace, i-i... what.. im-" I stuttered not able to talk right because of my shock. "Its ok.. it'll be ok. Don't worry this isn't your fault." She said with a tired smile on her face. "I-i have to get you to the quinjet." I said and picked her up quickly and sprinted as fast as I could being careful not to drop her as I ran.

Once I made it she had passed out. I ran inside and saw banner. "Banner! You have to help me! Sh-she got shot! Taking a bullet for m-me i-i dont know what to do i-" I stuttered tears now rapidly falling down my face and onto the floor.

"Give her to me. Now." He said, I held her out and he took her from my arms. He put her on the table and started working having her hear beat on a monitor. I leaned against the wall barely able to stand and put my hand over my mouth the other on the wall, unable to control my crying.

Everyone else got back and pietro saw me crying and he said "m/n? What happ-..." he cut himself off as he saw Gracie on the table.. her heartbeat starting to disappear. "..w-what happened?!" He asked tears now in his eyes. Me, pietro and gracie were all a friend group so I know he might feel as bad as I do.. no. There was no way he did.

It WAS my fault. She took a bullet for ME. It should've been me. I started sobbing as she started to flatline. I fell to the floor and pulled my knees up to my chest, my hand still up to my mouth. "Cmon kid.." I heard Tony cry. He was practically her dad. He took care of her when her dad didn't. I was the cause to this. It should've been me. It should've been ME...this isn't fair. why you?...

[river-bottom-nightmare]

Here's the headcanon-ficlet-thing I promised! Actually, sorry, it's only HALF of my idea. This thing got MUCH longer than I intended and I've decided it would be easier to just chop this whole thing in two. If I ever send another headcanon, it'll either be much shorter than this or I just won't use anon. Anyways, the death of Dick's parents had just been so SUDDEN and I started thinking, "What if Dick had some separation anxiety when he was younger that just... Never really got resolved? His parents were gone, just like that, and Bruce literally risks his life every day. That couldn't have helped my made up conflict either, I imagine." Hope you enjoy! (1/13)

When Dick first arrived at the manor, he'd just been so GLOOMY. Even after Tony Zucco's arrest, he moped around the living spaces and never seemed happy with how spacious the manor's rooms were. A handful of times, Bruce and Alfred had caught him crying in the emptier wings by himself, but they had never really been sure what to do with the kid other than feel guilty. Sometimes (rarely), Dick would seek one of them out for a hug or SOME form of comfort, but it never seemed to be enough to truly make him feel better. It was no secret that Alfred and Bruce were not the most affectionate people in the world, and Dick had come from a very loving place. It was just another new thing to adjust to in his already new, unfamiliar life. Then Dick wanted to be Robin, full time, and neither Bruce nor Alfred could really say 'no.' Dick still wasn't happy- not for a while- but eventually, his mood started to improve. (2/13)

Maybe that was why no one initially found the boy's habit of waiting by the manor doors alarming. It was one of the places he visited more frequently, and Alfred originally assumed it was because he liked hanging on that specific entrance's chandelier more than the others. However, as the weeks passed, it became obvious that it was just a place Dick liked to hang out when he was waiting for Bruce to return from work or patrol. When it began nearing six thirty, the time Bruce's work hours ended, Dick would set up his homework or drawing paper on the floor and work just to the side of the doors as he waited for them to open. Sometimes he'd even hold a handstand or stretch for however long it took Bruce to come home that day. At first, Alfred didn't know what to make of it. But, watching the way Dick's face lit up every time Bruce knocked at the door, the old butler figured the small habit couldn't do any harm no matter how strange it was. He was just happy the boy wasn't still brooding. (3/13)

Bruce also noticed how Dick always seemed to be waiting for him after work, but ultimately didn't find anything concerning about the observation. Sure, it was a little strange to have such a large reminder that he was an actual guardian now, but he reasoned with himself that Dick would grow out of it after a certain point. He decided to just let the boy be and life carried on. Besides, he wasn't Dick's only person of support; Bruce had caught Dick watching Alfred work in the kitchen on a number of occasions with a concentrated look on his face. Without a doubt, the boy was finally starting to adapt to the manor's way of life. (In all honesty, Bruce had probably been too busy being relieved over the old butler's existence to judge whether or not any of his new ward's behaviors could be considered alarming.) (4/13)

As Dick grew more and more relaxed overtime, neither Bruce nor Alfred put much thought into his other developing habits. For instance, as Robin, Dick always made sure to check in with a quick "Are you still there, Batman?" over the comms everytime the line went quiet for more than ten minutes. Bruce would occasionally warn him not to call in when they were on stealth missions, but Dick never quite seemed comfortable with leaving the line COMPLETELY dead whenever they left each other's sight. On those missions, he'd sometimes blow softly into his comm unit, and Bruce would have to make some subtle noise back so as not to completely worry the kid. Dick even seemed to develop certain behaviors around charity events and galas; for example, he would always hug Bruce's pant leg at the beginning of the events and would only let go once he was made to socialize. Despite the fact that it soon became apparent the kid was far from shy, the habit always took place without fail, to Bruce's perplexed amusement. Maybe the kid just hated Gotham's elites? (5/13)

More and more little habits flew under the radar as everyone still seemed to be adjusting to the new lifestyle. Occasionally Bruce and Alfred would pick up on something seeming a little off, but at the same time, Dick finally looked happy. Really, a few weird displays of affection here and there were FAR from their concern so long as Dick's days of endless distraught were over. And so, once Dick finally- and TRULY- settled into the manor as his new home, a bunch of odd behaviors just seemed to be swept under the carpet and ignored. On the unavoidable nights where Bruce got injured in the field, there was no missing how the habits seemed to rise in intensity, but by then... They became the everyday normal and were never addressed. (6/13)

(The Justice League found Robin's behavior more bemusing than anything. Dick was still in the habit of obsessively checking the comms when Batman, on a rare occasion, asked for backup. "Check in, Batman?" "Still scaling the perimeter. We might not catch any activity tonight past a few petty thefts." "Alrighty. And, uh, Superman! Status update!" "Nothing going on up here either, Robin." "Okay!" Ten minutes passed and the boy's voice crackled back to life on the comms once more. "Is everyone still okay?" After that one particular patrol, Clark had sent Bruce a questioning look. "He's nine. Of course he's worried." Clark didn't push it- or anyone else for that matter.) (7/13)

It wasn't until Dick turned sixteen and started looking to be more independent that his behavior finally set off a few alarm bells. His check-ins had turned more snippy over the years when Bruce and him got into fights, but they never really stopped. The arms clinging to Bruce's pant legs at galas were instead replaced by a friendly hand on Bruce's shoulder, yet Dick's presence had never really left his side- only growing more flighty and uncertain as he got older. When Dick did his homework, by then in his last year or two of highschool, it was no longer on the floor but instead in the dining room closest to the manor's entrance- still started at around five or six just like when Dick first arrived at the manor, and still fit to Bruce's work schedule. It occurred to Alfred that a few of Dick's behaviorisms probably should have been checked out a while ago. (8/13)

"When you were Master Richard's age, you were barely home. It's normal for teenagers to want a bit of distance and alone time, but Master Bruce, he only stays after school for club activities. The rest of his time is either spent partoling around the city or helping YOU. I'm worried whether or not his behavior is healthy." Bruce had contimplated these words before giving his own thoughts. At the time, he and Dick's working relationship as Batman and Robin was becoming a bit more strained, but he still KNEW Dick. "I'm not sure, Alfred. He says he's happy with the friends he has, and he's always been relatively well behaved... Could it be that this is just routine for him?" Alfred disagreed and so the discussion continued. However, any plans they made to adress the situation were cut short when Dick got shot in the shoulder. (9/13)

Bruce tried not to feel guilty about firing Dick and then kicking him out of the manor. A little space would be good for the boy, right? For as long he could remember, Dick had always been just around the corner. It was safer this way. He ignored Alfred's angry, dissapointed gaze and Clark's furious demands to explain what the hell he'd been thinking. Batman didn't need a Robin, and Dick would be fine without Bruce. (Bruce would be fine without Dick.) Later, on patrol, there was a second where the comm crackled to life. Before anything could happen it got shut off again, and before Bruce knew it, Dick's check-ins were gone. Batman didn't need Robin. (10/13)

There was no missing Dick's sudden change. With the Titans, Dick's mother henning got turned up to an eleven. Dick was always somewhere in the tower helping someone, and no one could miss the way he was practicaly always asking if anyone needed anything. Missions and patrols ran mostly the same, but it was much more often that Dick could be found staying up late at night, going through evidence on cases he was working on. His friends did their best to be understanding, but there was no hiding the fact that Dick needed help. Real help. They urged him to talk about what was wrong, but even Dick seemed to be at a loss for what he was going through. "I mean, I got kicked out! What else is there to say?" He yelled one day. Roy tried to reason with him. "But there's MORE to it than-" "There isn't." "Dick, you've been acting off for months." "And I'll be FINE in a few more! I'm always fine. Stop worrying." (11/13)

Eventually, they did. After a few more missions, it was as if nothing ever happened. Dick worked as he normally would and he started running off to do his own things rather than hover around other people's projects. He still gave off a sense of brokeness but by then there wasn't much that anyone could do. There had been one week in particular, though, that things just seemed to... Shift. Dick had just discovered that Bruce adopted another kid in the newspapers and there were sightings of another Robin. For a second, he seemed furious, and they all remembered feeling VERY concerned for what the guy might do. For four days straight it was if he was too angry to talk. On the fifth day, Dick disappeared. He wasn't seen again until the next morning. "Dick, are you alright?" Something visibly settled in him and just like that, Dick was fine again. Still overbearing, but fine. (12/13)

Okay! That's all I have so far since I don't want to spam your inbox with any more text blocks for one idea. You probably noticed that this first part just goes over more HOW Dick behaved when he was younger. The second part to this will focus more on everyone realizing that Dick had some repressed trauma going on, and the consequences it's had on him for never adressing said trauma. (Also Bruce, you shouldn't have kicked your teenage son out of the house. That didn't help.) Some of Dick's coping mechanisms when it comes to dealing with Bruce will probably also be questioned, but with the time away from Bruce, don't worry- Dick will be more obviously independent. He knew he wasn't in the best place. I'll send you the second part whenever I get done with it, which shouldn't take too long. Thanks for being excited to read my head canon and ideas! (13/13)

hey babe. this is,,,,,,oh my god. i love it so much. well actually i hated it because it was full of angst and it made me feel emotions and AGH. but also i loved it and god i can’t wait for the next part. you have NO IDEA how much i need the next part.

also, can i just say? the fic portion itself (2-12) is 1.7k words long. with a little editing, this could be a full fledged fic you can post on ao3. you absolutely don’t have to do it if you don’t want to, that’s just an idea i’m throwing out there.

dick with separation anxiety sounds so so plausible, because that abrupt shift from living in a circus to wayne manor of all places must have been QUITE the shift. i really loved how you touched on all these different habits and quirks dick had growing up, and how those bled over into different relationships in his life. and i can’t wait to see how you resolve it.

and i have one more thing for you. this isn’t really the same idea but it’s got somewhat similar elements: i read a fic a while back about dick being touch starved. it seemed up your alley, and anyone else who liked reading this incredible drabble, i think you’ll enjoy reading it! touch starved by envysparkler.