#because its also exam season so i have to start grading exams soon which is deeply stressful

[nikosasaki]

I'm a woman on the verge of a mental breakthrough

[coffeeandcalligraphy]

A chatty writing update | novels, short fiction, etc!

Hi folks!

It’s been a while since I last wrote an update on this blog! I thought it’d be fun to go back to basics, and just talk about writing. This post chats about: new plans for Feeding Habits, my newest novel, my short story goals & growing collection, along with process reflections.

(image description: a photo of green leaves with the text “writing update” in a white font written on top. /end image description)

Post starts under the cut!

General taglist (please ask to be added or removed)

@if-one-of-us-falls, @qatarcookie, @chloeswords, @alicewestwater, @laughtracksonata, @shylawrites, @ev–writes, @jaydewritesfiction, @jennawritesstories @eowynandfaramir, @august-iswriting, @aetherwrites, @avakrahn, @maisulli

What have I been up to?

For starters, I finished my second year of my Writing undergrad last week and got two of my final grades back today (A+ baby)! For anyone who has taken online university, y’all already KNOW, but this year was so difficult. Would not recommend! Really proud of myself to have gotten through this absolute rollercoaster of a school term and am excited to get into some writing. That leads us to:

What have I been up to (writing edition)?

2021 started off so fast. By the time January hit, I was so consumed in my new semester that I did not have time to write Feeding Habits (my novel). In the first few days of the term, I managed to write between class, until I could no longer keep up! Essentially, I did not write any of that novel until exam season (last week), where I did manage to get in about 3k words in ~4 days.

Feeding Habits

I’m currently drafting what I believe will be the last chapter of this book (chapter 10: Swan Song). This chapter is so bizarre for a few reasons. It begins the book’s third part and also marks the shift back into Lonan’s head from Harrison’s. I originally thought this part would be much, much longer, with at least another five chapters to go, but quickly realized the book’s content was nearly completed. In my 4 day 3k palooza, I hit 50k in the book (the word count goal), and couldn’t see myself extending past 60k. Since then, I’ve made the loose decision to write this final chapter as a ~novella. Here are a few reasons why:

1. This chapter is structurally very strange.

I unashamedly shift from present to past to present to past past, and so much more every 12 words. I mapped out the timeline on a sheet of paper, and there were over 20 shifts in scenes (the chapter is only about 4400 words at the moment). The fictive past is incredibly important to this chapter, more important than the present, and I thought it would make more sense to not break randomly for a chapter so I could upkeep the consistent inconsistency of the chapter.

2. The chapter is very abstract

This stems from the structural changes, but there are paragraphs in this chapter of the fictive present that are loosely based in reality. They’re more poems than they are factual paragraphs, and keeping them all contained in one place (so a mega chapter/ novella) would reduce the most confusion!

3. There’s not much left to cover

Like I said above, Feeding Habits is on its last leg, lol! I know exactly where the book needs to end up, which is very, very soon from where I’m currently at on the timeline. Swan Song should cover what 2-4 chapters would cover in terms of arcs.

Feeding Habits and I have a really weird relationship, tbh! When I realized a few weeks ago that it’d been over a year since I started the book, I realized I just needed to finish it. Not that I want to rush (because I’ve taken longer than a year to write a book in the past), but that in order to move onto another project, I’d like to put this one behind first. This book has been the hardest thing I’ve ever written, and has reminded me there’s always a time to let go. This sort of scrounges up a conversation about letting this entire series go, which is certainly something I’ve been contemplating doing soon(ish). If this spinoff series gets a third book, that may or may not be the last Fostered book for a very long time (or ever)! There are many complex reasons to move on, but the main one is that I have other projects I’d like to focus on. This is not a definitive decision, but something I’ve certainly been thinking about!

Here are a few excerpts I wrote recently:

(TW: death, gore)

Dying feels like being a trout dangled out of water. Clinging to a hook. Mouth open. Scales iridescent in a final death cry. It’s like blood spurting up the knuckles, drowning out the flesh. It’s that moment on the long fall down when the clouds cup the body. Easy drifting. The sound a skull makes when it cracks is really just the afterthought.

(TW: death, gore)

Kill shot. Death blow. Coup de grace. Right in the heart. He feels it. The blood swelling, slicking his palms. He can do it. Reach into the cavity. Feel for the ribs. Part each bone. Then cup the humming heart. Stay there. Right. It’s never been easier.

Look at this PURE moment of Lonan holding a baby I CANNOT:

The grocery store was a fifteen-minute walk away. With Olivia clinging to his shoulder, Lonan was acutely aware that she could feel his heartbeat. Open valve. Close. Repeat. Hers pulsed right above his, a miniature drumming. The sky had bruised purple, misted with clouds. The evening air nipped his cheeks, so he made sure Olivia was securely fastened between him and his jacket. With wide eyes, she absorbed the drowsy suburbia, all its family cars pulling into driveways, all its couples heading back home after a sunset walk. When Lonan passed a young boy walking two golden retrievers, Olivia giggled, and didn’t stop, even after he’d spent fifty dollars on groceries and nearly the rest on a red Corolla marked with a MUST GO NOW sign outside a convenience store.

Let’s move on!

Mandy and Cora

I said I wouldn’t talk too much about this project, but I just love it so much?? I wanted to share my SUPER early thoughts on drafting a novel, especially one that is SO different from what I’ve been writing recently. I talked about this before in THIS post, but the summary about this project is that it’s a YA contemporary novel! Can’t believe I’m writing YA again, it’s been so long, but I also think it’s going so well. Everything I’ve learned as a literary fiction writer has been a fantastic primer for transferring back to the genre. Admittedly, I have not written much, but I’m having a lot of fun diving back into a lighter project. This is the summary:

Cora and Mandy are identical twins who’ve always done everything together. But when Mandy decides to go to university out of province after graduation and Cora doesn’t, Cora takes this as an opportunity to “test run” life apart from her sister for the first time by spending the summer at her aunt’s house across the country.

I have come up with a few ~things since I last talked about this project, mostly how I’d like to structure it. As of now, I’d like the book to be structured super loosely. I’m really pulling on a lot of inspo from “We Are Okay” by Nina LaCour (which is SO good), particularly how “nothing happens-y” that book is. This project (which I still need a title for!!) will be structured in short chapters that cover something Cora does on her own for the first time (without Mandy). For example, a few ideas are “Flight”, “Lunch”, and “Groceries”. “Flight” is the first “chapter” (they’re really kind of vignettes) where Cora flies to her aunt’s house. I still can’t determine if this book will take place in Canada. On one hand, I feel like there will be a wider audience if it takes place in the US (is that just an assumption??? maybe?? someone let me know!), but also: don’t really care too much about an audience at the moment! It could also take place in Canada (So Ontario and British Columbia). But if it does take place in the US, I think it may take place in NYC and San Francisco. The problem is: I really don’t like researching lol, and while I’ve been to NYC many times, I will definitely write it wrong! Does this really matter on a first draft?? absolutely not lol, but of course I am already overthinking!

But back to structure: I am looking forward to seeing what this looser structure will do. This is a story that is solely around one half of a set of twins learning to be her own person (and ultimately that she doesn’t have to completely forget her sister in order to do that), and as a twin who KNOWS this feeling, I think this structure of her doing things for the first time is SUPER relatable.

I was worried it might sound silly/worrying to others who are not twins that Cora hadn’t done things like “lunch” or “groceries” on her own, but I feel this so much as an identical twin myself! Not that she hasn’t done anything at all by herself, but as a twin, when you do something without your twin for the first few times, at least in my experience, you notice. If any twins are reading this--weigh in!

This story is the most personal thing I’ve ever written. It definitely is an OwnVoices book! Usually, I avoid details that are remotely similar to me because they make me uncomfortable haha, but with this book, it’s all me, lol! The characters are all Guyanese, which is SO fun because I’ve been planning what they eat (my fellow Caribbean peeps know: the FOOD!), which is so fun (yes they have pumpkin and shrimp, yes they have roti, yes they have pera, yes they have mithai). Every time I’ve gone to dabble at this book, or even think about it, I get incredibly emotional for this reason? I don’t exactly know why. I think this is a story I just so want to tell, with the culture I love SO much that I definitely struggled to love as a child. This is reclamation bitchessss!

Not going to lie tho: the prospect of writing ~a book~ is kind of freaky! I’m going to make the minimum word count for this book pretty short (50k) and see where it goes from there. I think I will focus on this project this summer! Originally I was going to write a literary novel this summer, but I think this one’s calling my name!

Here’s a pretty rough excerpt:

Try. I remind myself that’s what I’m doing after the flight attendant fills me a disposable cup of Coca Cola and all I can think of is Mandy and I shoving Mentos into a bottle of the stuff when we were twelve. Just me, wedged in the middle seat between an exchange student heading out for summer break and a middle-aged woman sipping a cocktail, thinking of Mandy and I bursting whole oranges in a blender when we were bored one Winter break as the plane dips through a wave of turbulence. Mandy and I dying our hair neon green with highlighters (didn’t work—our hair is too dark) as the plane lands on the tarmac. Mandy and I arguing so loud last month, we both lost our voices as I lug my carry-on out of the overhead compartment and shuffle off the plane and through the airport, searching for Aunt Vel.

Short Fiction

I’ve written so much short fiction this year! I have a goal to write a short story a month (they can range in length, as long as 1 is “complete”), so my short story brain has seriously been soaking it all up lately. Let’s chat my month to month breakdown so far:

January:

I wrote four stories in January! The first is a flash fiction piece called “Shark Swimming” that follows a young woman who attends a shark swimming class after breaking up with her girlfriend. I wrote this story for a “test” workshop for my fiction class, and it was based off the prompt “think about something you’re afraid to do and make the character do that thing”. I’m not particularly afraid of sharks, but had been wanting to use the title “Shark Swimming” for AGES (literally since 2018).

This story is one of my favourites. It’s only about 900 words, but I think there’s something profound in how mundanely specific it is. The entire story doesn’t even see the narrator swim with sharks once; it actually takes place fully in the sanctuary’s lobby. But I really love this narrator. This is the first story I’ve written in second person in a while, though I felt really connected to the unnamed narrator. She struggles with accepting that she truly is a “boring” person, and there’s something about the final image that really gets me!

I’ve been submitting this around, though it’s been rejected a handful of times. Hoping I can secure it at a magazine one day because I really love it!

The second story is “Joanne, I’ll Pray for You” which is actually a rewrite of one of my very first short stories (the first story I did not write for a class haha), “NYC in Your Apartment”. I LOVE this rewrite a lot, and also learned the original is not a very good short story! Revising this story taught me just how much I’ve learned in the 2 years I’ve been writing short fiction. Seeing the 2019 version versus the 2021 version side by side is fascinating because I essentially “gutted’ the 2019 version of its beginning and end until all that was left was the middle of the story (aka the actual story). AKA: this is the only story I’ve ever written with a hopeful ending and I cut out all the happy bits lol I am SO sorry (that arc is more for a novel or novella). That’s how this went from a 5k word story to an 1800 word story (my Submittable thanks me for this lol). A lot of details and scenes I included were more pertinent to a 3 act structure/novel, which of course short stories don’t often have because of their brevity. I love rambling about writing theory, and seeing that actually pay off is so fascinating!

(TW: trauma)

Like the original, this story follows Joanne, a woman in her early twenties, who spontaneously breaks up with her boyfriend. She claims the poltergeist haunting her drove her to this decision. The original draft focused a lot more on the traumatic events Joanne survives, but this draft really loosens them up. It focuses less so on the events themselves, and more on how Joanne’s life is affected. I found the details of these events were less important, and even sort of contradicted Joanne’s insistence she is being haunted. Instead, the poltergeist really takes more precedence in the new draft as a force Joanne doesn’t understand. That ambiguity, I think, is what the story truly needed.

I also centralized Joanne’s relationship with her boyfriend, Julian, here. Now don’t get me wrong, I really didn’t add anything to this draft. It was a matter of trimming the fat around it to leave the lean “meat” in the centre. But by removing that fat, I was able to emphasize what was most important here, and that was her relationship. Julian always played a really big role in the original draft, but I feel like his role as both a friend and partner to Joanne is much more emphasized since this draft literally is only two scenes now. Because there is less, there is more room for Joanne to reflect, which I’m happy about!

A final change I made was the setting and therefore the title. The original, which was “NYC in Your Apartment,” I couldn’t keep because I shifted the setting to Toronto (this is how I originally saw it, but in 2019 I just?? couldn’t?? write?? canlit??), and “Toronto in Your Apartment” sounded sort of gross LOL. The new title comes from a line in the story which I think is more relevant to the themes!

The next short story I wrote in January was “How to Spell Alpaca.” This one is super fun because I wrote it SO fast (in about 15 minutes or so). THIS is the writing update if you’re interested in learning more. I talked extensively about this one in that update, but some developments are that I dove into an edit a few weeks ago to really understand the core of the story. I’m still not quite there (this is just an intuitive feeling; I know not everything has “clicked), but I am really intrigued by the two mothers in the story, the narrator, and her newfound acquaintance, Violet. Both really struggle to understand their place as mothers (the narrator even declares she isn’t a mother anymore). The narrator, who is in her 50s, sees herself in Violet, who is much younger (~20s), and so she views Violet’s relationship with her daughter in a cautionary, yet mournful way, like she can see it will end up like her own relationship with her daughter, despite wanting the opposite. This is a really subtle story. I feel like if you blink, you’ll miss the message. But I think it’s compelling for that reason. It’s really a portrait of parenting and how to grapple with mistakes you may make that inevitably affect your children. Wow just unlocked the theme writing this lol.

The final story I wrote in January is “The Party,” which may be in my top 3 faves I’ve ever written. This story follows Aida, a recent divorcee in her ~40s. The day her divorce turns official, she moves into a new house and receives a party invitation addressed to the previous homeowner, yet RSVP’s anyway. At this party, she’s hoping to find some sense of noticeability, having struggled with being nondescript her whole life. Things seem quite normal at the party, until it gets bizarre.

I LOVE this story, y’all. Like “How to Spell Alpaca” it really delves into motherhood. Aida, our narrator, is incredibly hurt after her divorce. She now lives farther from her children she struggled to feel connected to in the first place, and doesn’t really know how to reignite her life. This party is a means to do that. This is the first story I’ve written that contains a “twist” which is strange because I really prefer stories that give us as much info as possible upfront, but yes, this one sort of twists.

February

I wrote one story in February, and that was “Protect the Young.” This title is SO changing when I think of a new one because it’s thematically incorrect, haha, but this story follows a woman in her late 40s whose daughter, Lindy, announces she is married the same day all their backyard chickens turn up dead. The discovery of dead chickens prompts our narrator to recall her ex-husband’s murder and the role her daughter may have played in his death.

I love this story so much! I think this would make a great closing for my short story collection. It just has that vibe! I wrote this for my second fiction workshop. I thought I had to hand in the story a week earlier than I had to, so I panicked and wrote this in one sitting! Little did I know, I did not need to do that lol but I’m very happy because this story is so fun. We get to learn more about Arnold (her ex), his relationship with Lindy, and how that translates to Lindy’s relationship with her new husband, Malcolm. I LOVE true crime (I listen to about 3-4 hours of case coverage daily), and this is my first “true crime” story. Because of that, I’m very sus of a few details that probably wouldn’t slide in actual investigatory work, so I’ll also be working on that in a revision. My professor also gave me a great suggestion that may alter the story’s structure a bit, though I look forward to toggling with it in the future.

March

In March, I was really on a Criminal Minds kick lol. I’ve been watching this show since I was seven (oops), and dove into a rewatch since it hit Disney+! This story, “Where to Run When the Lamb Roars,” is very clearly Rachel watching 5 episodes of CM a day. Oops! We follow 14-year-old Astrid as she and her older half brother kidnap a young girl to sacrifice for their yearly ritual.

I knew a few things going into this story, but the main thing was that I did NOT want to show any details of a potential murder (if one even occurs). I really wanted to keep all of those elements off the page because this story is not about those events, but about Astrid’s relationship with her brother. They are a murderous duo, with Astrid actually being the dominant partner. I wanted to explore that. I knew her brother, Fox, was more of a submissive partner in their team, even when he used to do this same thing with his father when he was much younger (chilling!), and so it was a task to explore how this young girl’s desire for violence works. The end actually comes right before the story starts, one could say, but I like it for this reason. It really made me contemplate the story by the time I finished it, and helped me examine what it really was about versus what it appeared to be about.

April

(TW: sexual content, non explicit)

I was so busy this month! Who knows if I’ll write a story last minute, but I did write one story this month called “Five Times Fast.” I wrote this during a “writing sprint” that was being hosted at a flash fiction workshop I recently took with one of my favourite writers ever, K-Ming Chang. I learned so much from this class, and am so happy I came out of it with a draft! This story is just over 300 words, so the shortest flash I’ve ever written, but I’m really happy with it. It was based off the prompt “describe the last time you or your character was naked.” In this case, the narrator has a “friends with benefits” relationship with Ricky who works at a laundromat. This story highlights a moment in this relationship (and also Ricky’s goofy personality lol). I really like it! Hopefully I’ll submit it to some magazines soon.

My short story collection

Very briefly I wanted to touch on my short story collection which I’ve titled “She is Also Dead.” I’ve been meaning to make a blog post on this, so look out for that in the coming months, but this collection is already at around 35k words (about 14 stories so far). The collection also surprisingly has a solid amount of flash fiction which is kind of fun! There’s definitely a range here, which is what I personally love in short story collections.

I feel very professional now that I have a ~collection chart. This is her:

(image description: A chart with the title “She is Also Dead.” It is broken into four columns: Story, Status, Word Count, and Published. Entry 1 - Story: Slaughter the Animal. Status: Revisions, Word Count, 3982, Published: N/A. Entry 2 - Story: Joanne, I’ll Pray for You, Status: Polished, Word Count: 1809, Published: N/A. Entry 3 - Story: Primary Organs, Status: Published, Word Count: 2342, Published: The Malahat Review. Entry 4 - Story: Faberge, Status, Polished, Word Count: 619, Published: N/A. Entry 5 - Story: The Wolf-Antelope Will Not Come for Us, Status, Polished, Word Count: 1556, Published: filling Station (forthcoming). Entry 6 - Story: How to Spell Alpaca, Status: revisions, Word Count: 1327, Published: N/A. Entry 7 - Story: Blink Twice for Final Judgement, Status: Polished, Word Count: 6572, Published: N/A. Entry 8 - Story: The Species is Dead, Status: Published, Word Count: 1208, Published: Minola Review. Entry 9 - Story: Shark Swimming, Status: Polished, Word Count: 907, Published: N/A. Entry 10 - Story: The Party, Status, Polished, Word Count 2339, Published: N/A. Entry 11 - Story: Fig, Status: Polished, Word Counter: 947, Published: N/A. Entry 12 - Story: Protect the Young, Status: Revisions, Word Count: 4128, Published: N/A. Entry 13 - Story: Where to Run When the Lamb Roars, Status: Revisions, Word Count: 2174, Published: N/A. Entry 14 - Story: Phantom Limbs, Status: Revisions, Word Count: 4844, Published: N/A.) /end image description.

This order is DEFINITELY not permanent (at this point whenever I write a story, I just fit it randomly into this chart lol), and some of the info is outdated (for example, Slaughter the Animal is now polished!!! thank god!!!). But just an idea of what I’m thinking of including.

This is the summary so far:

In SHE IS ALSO DEAD, characters are pushed to act on their gravest impulses. A small town turns murderous when their local invasive species, the Janices, begin dying. A child struggles to understand her mother’s suicide. A college dropout who insists she’s being haunted by a poltergeist unexpectedly breaks up with her boyfriend. A mother acknowledges her daughter’s murderous tendencies after her backyard chickens mysteriously die. A young girl caters the funeral of a girl rumored to be killed by a wolf-antelope. A newly-divorced mother RSVP’s to a bizarre party she was not invited to, and a murderous brother and sister upkeep their yearly tradition of abducting a young girl. These stories follow characters who navigate death, violent desires, womanhood, and loss, both self-imposed and otherwise.

This is also so subject to change as I may pull and add stories to the collection!

I think I’m going to leave this update here for now! I’ve written TONS of poetry too, but I honestly ~hate my poetry right now lol, so! Hope you enjoyed this chill rambly update. Hope writing has going well for you all! All the best!

--Rachel

[maggotmouth]

          hillo sexthy legends !!   i’m nora and i’ll be writing margo colby n probs sm1 else bcos lets be real, i lack self-control. u can find her pinterest here n some info abt her sexy self below the cut. plot with me on discord ( hot girl midsommar#8664 ) or in my ims !!  x o x

     * CAMILA MORRONE, CIS WOMAN + SHE / HER  | you know MARGO COLBY, right? they’re TWENTY-THREE, and they’ve lived in irving for, like, ELEVEN YEARS? well, their spotify wrapped says they listened to SCRAWNY BY WALLOWS  like, a million times this year, which makes sense ‘cause they’ve got that whole BLEACH WHITE SNEAKERS POUNDING ON A GYMNASIUM FLOOR, USING THE SAME BLUNT SCISSORS TO HACK THE SLEEVES OFF AN EXES T-SHIRT THAT YOU USE TO CUT YOUR 3AM FRINGE, A WALNUT-SHAPED ACHE IN THE PIT OF YOUR STOMACH FOR THE PERSON YOU COULD HAVE BEEN thing going on. i just checked and their birthday is AUGUST 8TH, so they’re a LEO, which is unsurprising, all things considered. ( nora, 25, gmt, she/her )

CLICK ANYWHERE ON THIS SENTENCE FOR SEXII GOOGLE DOC!!

bullet point summary of margo.

—   born margaret but NOBODY calls her that. its colby, coach or margo, and go to the privileged few. margo grew up in the creek commune n then dropped out of school cos of a teenage pregnancy so she was a bit of a cautionary tale back in’t’day (said tht in my yorkshire accent). she now works for summer camps coaching pee wee soccer and pee wee cheer, as well as helping out her beekeeper dad on his honey farm, which is jst north of abernathy creek, and working at scuba on the off seasons.

—  its just her and her dad, and has been for as long as she can recall !! everything she knows about her mum could fit on the back of the weathered passport photo she keeps in her wallet of a stranger who shares her face - her name’s melody, or at least tht was name she used when working as a dancer, she’s from argentina and dropped mag’s dad as soon as someone w more money came along.

—  margo’s father is a beekeeper with his own organic honey company. margo and her dad moved to irving in the early 00s, the summer between grade school and middle school, because her dad had heard about the communal living in abernathy creek and wanted to lend his skills there and live off the fatta the land in a very lenny from of mice and men kinda way.

—  for a few years of middle school margo was bullied for living with the ‘freaks from the creek’, but when they realised how chill her dad was with underage drinking, margo ‘keg-bringer’ colby soon gained popularity among the more renegade students. every so often, the high school parties would happen at her end of town, occasionally with members of the commune even offering the high schoolers a spiritual experience they’d never forget (often in the form of mushrooms) which meant people tried to stay on her good side. to get an invite to a margo colby party handed you a free pass to make up the most ridiculous shit about the commune you liked and nobody else could say anything, because they’d never been to the creek.

—  at school, margo had a lot of ‘behvioural issues’ bcos of undiagnosed adhd, she found it difficult to sit still for hours n write down huge chunks of information n her restlessness was seen as laziness. she was encouraged to do sports, as were most of the kids who weren’t that academically inclined, but she turned out to be pretty hot shit at sprinting, because she grew up surrounded by bee houses and he who runs slowest gets stung, baybeyy!! so yea, in school sports became her LIFE. she was gonna get a sports scholarship to college but ended up dropping out of school in senior year n becoming one of those kids who could have had it all but lost it.

—  she had sex with sutter at a house party when she wasnt really ready because it felt like the right thing to do at the time and everybody else was doing it. she’d attended health class, she’d seen the corny videos. she knew about all the statistics, but she also knew that it had never happened to anyone she knew and the pull out method was basically safer than the morning after pill and way less expensive.

—  a teenage pregnancy knocked her out of the runnings for prom queen and meant she had to leave school early. she didn’t go to college when her friends did, instead she spent the time interviewing potential foster candidates and eating her weight in lindt chocolate while marathoning love island in her room.  

—  she had a son, who she passed off to someone else a couple of towns away.  it was a closed adoption which seemed like the best idea at the time, but she now wishes she had access to his life.

—  after peaking in high school and jumping between jobs for a few years, she got a more permanent role at scuba which she loves with all of her heart and soul, but unfortunately a bar job doesn’t pay the rent.  

—  she works at summer camps coaching  junior soccer and netball on the side. she’s extremely competitive and takes it very personally if her team lose. the kids all call her, coach colby n write her longwinded letters about how they’ll never forget this summer camp before they go back to their suburban picket fence houses n she keeps all the letters in a drawer n takes them out to read when she’s feelin depressed.

—  enjoys surfing and worked for a number of years on resorts like mila kunis’ job in forgetting sarah marshall. she went on to work 18-hour days as a stewardess on luxury yachts which is a part of her backstory i added after watching season one of below deck because i guess i really am that fucking impressionable. met most of her surf friends doing tht but said she’d never in her life do it again bcos it was mostly just picking up after rich white ppl for shit pay. she came back to irving n thats when she started doing the summer camp jobs so she could move out of the creek n get her own apartment. 

—  she never actually finished senior year so she’s currently going to night school at the community college to get through her exams and is trying to save to go to college or open university. she wants to major in criminology. she’s super ambitious but also super adhd so she fluctuates between thinking she can achieve anything to just feeling like a failure n thinkin whats the point

—  used to shoplift to feel joy and as an act of resistance to her hippy commune routes, but now sees herself as a reformed, bin-diving freegan (sims 4 eco living can i get a hell yaaaa). also she thinks it’s totally wrong to steal when you have enough money and clearly don’t need to steal to survive, ppl risk imprisonment for basic necessities, so for her to do it for a brief thrill and some new shades felt a bit derogatory

—  was raised jewish. became a vegetarian as a child because it seemed, at the time, easier than having to explain which foods she was and wasn’t allowed to eat together, so she just cut out meat entirely. still a vegetarian now and dabbles in veganism, although its become less about not eating certain meats in the milk of their mother and more about her global impact / carbon footprint

—  nurses little animals to health in her garden. has a hedgehog name OJ short for orange juice not the other one filthy pig. her and her dad have always been huge animal rights activists and existed on a vegetarian diet. the only one in their house who isn’t vegetarian is their cat, auggie. (short 4 augustus gloop)

—  has a lot of stupid ass stick and poke tattoos. there was a phase during her years as a barmaid where she wanted to train as a tattoo artist n would mostly practice on herself or any friends who would let her

—  she doesn’t form many long lasting friendships cos she tends to be super excited when she makes a new friend and just see them all the time but then it wears off and she can ghost a bit. she’ll always coming pinging back but she’s not the most predictable or loyal friend, sometimes she’ll sleep in your house every night for a week and then you won’t even get a text from her for a month. her best friends are elderly neighbours and houseless people she meets when volunteering at the foodbank. she thinks they’re more authentic than most of the ‘fake posers’ she meets down the vela pier

—  calls herself a butch lesbian but still has sex with men when she wants validation. sexually attracted to some men, especially effeminate men, but only romantically attracted to women. very possessive of the gals in her life.

—  stopped giving a shit about getting older or adhering to anyone elses bullshit standards, realised it was all fake p much as soon as she dropped out of school and one by one her friends just stopped texting her

—  lives in one of the lofts in port apartments. it’s open plan with rugs and lava lamps everywhere. she has a palette bed. its all very ‘sustainable chic’. like, oh wow, a pallet bed that im supposed to think you made from scratch but i KNOW you got it  off ebay because you thought it looked trendy

—  constantly says shes poor but still buys clothes from urban outfitters. sus.

—  frequently found at fannies flirting with the cute bisexual bartender with a choppy black bob.

general vibe / personality

vibrant, vulgar, self-absorbed, tenacious, veers bewteen apathetic and dogmatic, temperamental, flighty, unreliable, magnetic, charismatic, passive aggressive, likes to play devil’s advocate, takes the moral high ground. estp and a leo

likes: 70s music, john wayne movies, black mirror, philosophy, cowboy chic culture, dc comics, the smell of locker rooms,, deep red lipstick, lacrosse sticks, smoking weed from a bong, dogs, karaoke, pet rats, kate moss, late-night strolls, hawaaiian shirts worn open over a bralette, skinned knees, thai food, picking the apples at the very top of the trees, zip-lining, cigarettes, the idea of pegging but not the practical application of it, decorative lamps, LGBTQ+ pin badges, worn-out furniture, twangy electric guitars.

dislikes: girls who call other girls ‘pick me’ girls, woody allen movies, mental mathematics, wealthy children, quentin tarantino, ironing, institutionalised misogyny, the imaginary future, french literature, ‘dump him’ feminism, wes anderson films, spoken word poetry nights, college-educated bar staff who act like they’re better than you,  indie softbois, the general mentality of cheerleading squads.

aesthetics

orange peel, the smell of bleach, skeleton drawings in the margins of a journal, thumb holes poked through the cuffs of your sleeves, bleach white sneakers pounding on a gymnasium floor, setting dumpsters on fire for the hell of it. a hit flask of vodka decorated with hello kitty stickers, split knuckles, alien conspiracy theories and sci-fi paperbacks, doc martens with fraying laces, a child in an oversize bee keepers suit, scabbed knees, not eating your greens, smiling with a mouthful of blood, and piercing your own ears with a safety pin when your dad wouldn’t take you,  a tennis racket you punched through in a fit of temper, feet pounding the earth until your soles bleed crimson, sleeping in a cherry lip balm and scrunchies to keep the wild locks from your eyes.

hoo boy this is getting LONG AS FUCK but here are my wanted plots

wanted plots

ok margo’s been in irving since she was like 10. she’s quite a vivacious person?? she dresses completely instinctively without any sense of cohesion so she stands out. a guy once told her she was wearing the ugliest outfit he’d ever seen and he thought that was so cool and brave of her. but anyway where was i going.. she grew up in the abernathy creek so stuck out like a sore thumb,,,, maybe ppl who were super interested in the creek or maybe poked fun at her bcos of it idk.....

b4 she dropped out, margo used 2 b in with the cool kids at school bcos her dad would buy them booze and rarely ask for the money. maybe a fun plot cld b with some of the ‘it girls’ she used to hang around with b4 she got pregnant n dropped out and they all went off to college n stopped texting her.

frinds !! unlikely friends !! toxic friends !! some1 she feels like she knew before irving ???

since margo literally can’t differentiate between romantic and platonic love, she’s got off with so many of her mates, so i want awkward friendships where they nearly dated, or exes that have now just turned into weird friendships. fwbs. enemies with benefits. all the angst. all the slow burn mutual pining we hate each other narratives

locals who play sports. margo wld be all over community soccer n take it way too seriously. maybe ppl she plays hockey with. girls who she’s like, weirdly intimate with but its not a thing cos the other girls straight !!! what do u mean !! aha just fun !

she works part time at scuba. i want a mate that just goes and sits in there talking to her until her manager gets angry.

she's also a surf instructor and occasionally works as a lifeguard!! gal has like 7 jobs ik but regular swimmers hmu

ppl she coaches at the gym !! she wants to be a personal trainer

i reckon she might have recently started meditating to try and calm down her mind cos its always bustling with thoughts, n i think she’s p interested in buddhism so if anyone’s a buddhist hmu

someone she’s trying to make a zine with on female empowerment and women in film and art, etc. just a very feminist zine. 

TLDR:  angry sports gay, former high school track prodigy turned drop out, who likes feminist literature, wearing leather jackets over slip dresses, and smudged red lipstick.

this was so long !!! im sorry !! if you’ve read this far have a biscuit, love x

[cookiem1996]

The Scottish Stranger Chp2

AN: Ahoy there! I know it has been awhile since chapter one, but I have been very busy with work and life. Now that I am sick, unfortunately, I have had enough time to update and continue this story based off of Zelda’s recounts of her Academy days featuring a crossover of Supernatural’s Rowena Macelod. I hope you guys enjoy this second chapter and I am hoping to continue more on this installment and perhaps a reunion between a present Zelda and Rowena. This chapter does contain some actual Gaelic mythology. I thought it would please you all witches at heart. Enjoy.

The Scottish Stranger Chp 2

  Another great storm thundered in Greendale.

This time it is in the present. The rain still intrigues Zelda. She finds herself curled up by the window as she marks last week’s exams in the comfort of her home.

Sure, she usually spent a lot more time at the Academy of the Unseen Arts, but she was done hearing her sister’s pleas to pry her out of the environment lest, ‘you start becoming a hermit in that office’.  

Honestly, it relieved Zelda to be home; she found it to be a comfort. Her family home never always used to be this way, with its thunderous memories of decay and turmoil. Now, the only memories that went through her mind were times of happiness, times of family...times where she would hear Sabrina ramble on about menial means of her adolescence.

Oh how she missed her niece. A weak smile graced her aged features as she thought about the day when Sabrina got her green thumb.

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“Auntie! Auntie! Look what Aunt Hilda and I planted!”

Zelda neatly folded her newspaper and set it down. “Come now, let’s see it.”

A young Sabrina tugged her Aunt Zelda with no care to the garden where Hilda knelt feeding a plant with some plant food.

“My lilacs will grow right there, Auntie! You’ll see!”, Sabrina beams.

Zelda glanced down at her little niece with the softest grin. She knelt down and brought her into a hug.

Sabrina crinkles her nose, but hugs her back. “What’s this for?”

Zelda shuts her eyes to fight back a tear. “Don’t you ever change, Sabrina.”

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Zelda frowns then seeing a watermark over Michael Hanover’s test. Her fingers wander up to her cheekbone feeling wetness. With a soft sigh she grabs a tissue and dabs gently under her eyes.  

“When will I be done with these accursed tears?”, she asks herself in defeat.

She was ready to take another sip from her cup, but made a face. “Hilda! This is empty!”  

There was silence aside from the storm. She furrowed her brows not hearing any footsteps. It took her a moment to realize she was truly alone now. Hilda wasn’t here, of course. She was home with her new husband. Ambrose went away to ‘find himself’. All Zelda had was Vinegar Tom and Salem.  

It surprised the witch that Salem continued on living even with his charge, Sabrina, being no longer of this world.

Zelda sighs and sets aside all of the graded papers. She gets up wandering to the kitchen. She grabbed the kettle to make more tea. She felt so lifeless, so out of place. She knew she had to get out of this funk soon-for her coven.

Zelda nearly jumps out of her skin feeling a slight brush against her legs. She glances down to see Salem curled up around her leg. Although she didn’t like the feline from the start, it seemed the cat warmed up to her and she warmed up to him.  

“I know, Salem. I miss her too.”, She speaks softly.  

Zelda gives herself an assured nod before proceeding to brew some tea. She turned on the TV for once to see more news. She read this morning’s paper at least three times bored out of her mind.

There was a news report about the President having been attacked and that the assailants were in custody. She raises a brow noticing they didn’t name the criminals, but were focused on the President’s accounts.  

“Breaking News: seems the brothers in custody have escaped. Be on the lookout for Sam and Dean Winchester.”, an anchorman reported.

Zelda tilts her head. Those names sounded familiar-for sure. Vinegar Tom barks lightly and nudges at his food bowl catching his charge’s attention.  

“Okay, okay, sir.”, Zelda coos toward her familiar. “Help yourself.”

Zelda fills his bowl and sets it in front of him before doing the same for Salem. She rolls her eyes turning off the TV when the stories went on about what hairstyles were in for the season. Nothing intrigued her much except for political world affairs and stories with meaning.

Zelda hears the whistle of the kettle and scuffles over to it to turn off the burner.  She moves the kettle away from the still heated kettle and stares off.  

That whistle...

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Academy of the Unseen Arts-Past

  Zelda sighed in defeat hearing the lunch bell go off. She became so engrossed on today’s lesson: Demons and the Archeron. Demonology really piqued the young red-head's interest. She could spend all day reading spellwork and the ways of conjuring one of Satan’s helpers.

  She gathered her books and bag as she watched everyone rush out of the classroom, clamoring about today’s newest gossip; it was all anyone could talk about now-the new girl.  A roll of Zelda’s eyes didn’t go unnoticed by her professor.  

Professor Ghastly arched an old withered brow as he cleared his desk. “Ms. Spellman, is everything alright?”, he asked.

  Zelda’s blue eyes looked up toward her professor. She sighs before she answers, “Quite. I am just upset the lesson is over for today.”

Professor Ghastly scoffed lightly and smiled lightly. “You really are one who truly appreciates my lessons. Don’t worry, we’ll touch more tomorrow. Who knows, one day you’ll be the best spell-caster the Coven has ever seen.”  

Zelda offered a faint grin and gave a curt nod. “Thank you, Professor. I shall see you tomorrow.”

With that, Zelda left the classroom beaming in pride. She knew she already was the best spell-caster. Faustus leaned against the wall ahead in the hall watching her like a hawk. He approached her with a sly grin.  

“Done being the teacher’s pet?”, he sneered teasing her.

Zelda rolls her eyes and nudges him as she walks side by side with him. “Done drooling over every witch you encounter? I swear I should conjure up a spell to castrate you.”, she teases back.

This is what her and Faustus Blackwood did every day; they would taunt each other whilst casting a lustful stare. Zelda knew she couldn’t want him. Faustus would be fawning over the next new thing like nothing occurred between them. The only girl he ‘stuck with’ the most was Constance. Zelda didn’t understand why, the girl was petty. Constance was a jealous cow because she knew even though Faustus would stray, he would also go back to flirting his way with Zelda as well. Zelda figured Faustus didn’t know what he wanted. Constance’s family had been in good noble standing, whereas with the Spellman’s, they were known for their wit and they were quite the impeccable conjurers. She assumed he had the future in mind-the right Blackwood bride.

“My, my, Ms. Spellman. How naughty of you.”, Faustus feigned offense. “You may have some leverage yet.”

Zelda shrugs with a skip to her step. “I’d say so.”

Faustus nodded in greeting to his inner circle. The best of the best warlocks the Academy had to offer. “Perhaps I should meet you after your rehearsal this afternoon. What do you say, Spellman?

Zelda pursed her lips playfully and tilted her head. “Depends...”

Faustus raises a dark brow. “On?”

Zelda stops and leans to whisper in his ear. “If you bring the thing I mentioned.”

Faustus’s smirk grew. “Certainly.” He winked and then went off with his friends.

Zelda watched him go and sighed deeply. Quite the bad idea for sure. Unlike Faustus, she hadn’t been thinking of the future. Whatever she wanted to do, it would be for the moment-living in the now.  

Before heading to the cafeteria, Zelda went on to switch out her books for her next class. She didn’t get herself a locker, thinking it was the worst idea to cram one’s books in such a cramped space. She walked down the hall to her dorms, which to her convenience, was right nearby.  

She paused then, furrowing her light brows hearing this soft whistle. The whistle echoed lightly down the hall. It sounded so...enchanting, the melody she couldn’t place. This sound made her venture forward, passing the large wooden door to her dorm.  

There, nestled by the window over-looking the outside of the Gehenna Station sat none other than that bloody Scot. A scowl rose on Zelda’s perfect upper lip having found the source of the light and strangely enchanting whistle.  

Rowena’s features remained calm however, her pale fingers drumming against the window pane. She took notice of the presence behind her through the reflection of the window and started to sing that tune she whistled earlier.  

Zelda did not recognize what seemed to be an old folk song, but she knew the girl sung in Gaelic. Zelda knew her languages very well. She knew how to pick up an old dialect when she heard one.

 “Ya know what this song is about?”, Rowena broke the silence.

Zelda tilts her head in wonder. Although she recognized the language, she hadn’t been translating it in her mind word for word-instead having been enchanted by that voice of hers. This frustrating newcomer sang like the lark, her beauty matching her voice.  

Zelda snaps out of it and huffs, placing a free hand on her hip. “I am sure you will enlighten me.”

Zelda could just feel that growing smirk on the other girl’s lips. She saw the way her shoulders rose up, mischief teeming in her body language. This girl...she was so animating.  

“It’s about a man’s burning lust for a bonnie. How his pecker hurt because she is this image of perfection.”

Zelda’s face turned a bright red. Who would make such a disgusting...

Rowena laughs, throwing her head back in amusement. She turned to take a look at Zelda’s growing irritation. “Had ya going there, didn’t I?”

Zelda’s resting hand on her hip squeezed, eyebrows furrowed as she glared right at the Scot.  

“Hilarious. Were you the jester in your podunk village?”, Zelda sneers.

Rowena’s red brows flew up, but the wry smile never went away. “Is that all ya can come up with?”, she retorts. “At least ya find me humorous.”

Zelda’s jaw set as she scrutinized the smaller girl. “You didn’t want me to forget that you were a poor simple girl the other night. You want people to pity you, don’t you? It’s pathetic.”

Rowena scoffed and snickered shaking her head. Satan, in Hell, she was irritating.  

“Bold of ya to say, spoiled brat. It’s so easy to look down on those beneath ya, eh? Ya think I want pity? Why do ya even think I am here?”

Zelda shifted in place clearly not wanting to deal with her right now, toes turned back toward the door to her dorm.  

“You’ve got nowhere to go...”, she began stepping closer so she towered over the seated girl. “You need a roof over your head, food in your belly, someplace to mooch off of. You may be a young witch, but you are standing in a great Academy for witches who want to learn, want to let the Dark Lord into one’s life. You don’t just come here to use this as your lounging spot.”, Zelda spat as she nudged toward Rowena’s seat.

Rowena narrows her green cat-shaped eyes. She slowly gets up, her nose nearly grazing Zelda’s chin. It miffed her that Zelda would take advantage of her height to be intimidating. Rowena sniffed as her eyes wandered up to gaze into those stormy blue eyes. She could smell that wonderful scent: fresh strawberries, lilies in the field. A part of Rowena wanted to be enveloped in that scent forever, wanted to test those beautiful red lips before her. Freak the girl out? No way. No one ever talked about the temptations of wanting the same sex. Rowena slowly discovered that the moment she saw the curious gaze of Zelda Spellman.

She wasn’t alone. Oh no, Zelda thought about gripping her red locks and giving into her temptation as well. The Dark Lord did say everyone had their own free will to take as they wanted, to sup and lap at every desire. No, she couldn’t desire the stranger. How dare she speak to her the way she did and still appeared as pretty as she did?

Zelda lifted her chin lightly appearing still to be mightier than the smaller girl. She couldn’t let herself give into those emerald eyes, those pouted pink lips, those amazing spackles of freckles on her porcelain skin. Her skin must have been soft, but her hands looked calloused and worn from what seemed to have been manual labor.  

This temptation she would not submit to.  

“Ya couldn’t be more wrong. In fact, I start classes tomorrow. I have just been trying to catch up on a few studies. You’ll be seeing me around a bit longer. I hope yer ready for that.”, Rowena spoke lowly and then gave her a smile like a crocodile. “I hope yer ready to see what I’m made of.”

Zelda scoffs trying to show her she didn’t fear her-not in the slightest. “Is that a threat?”, she asks quietly, eyes briefly glancing at those pink lips, mouth nearly watering to try them.  

Rowena bit that cute lower lip as those deep green eyes seemed to glint brighter in mirth. “I assure ya it’s no threat. It’s a promise.”  

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The next day, Zelda entered the earliest to her favorite class of the day: Spellwork and Conjuration. She polished off her workspace and organized her ink jar and quill to the right corner of her desk. She smiled as she pulled out a fresh piece of parchment, taking in the nice smell of new parchment paper. She loved to learn, loved to show off how much she absorbed being such an avid learner.  

Zelda tried not to think about what Rowena said yesterday. So far, she didn’t have a class with her-how would she prove her ‘point’?

The rest of the class started to file in. They settled in their seats ready to learn. Zelda folded her hands in front of herself, sitting upright, but ready to pick up that quill when she needed to. All seemed to go well, until...she walked in.

Zelda’s blue eyes narrowed following the messy-haired petite witch as she made her way to the teacher’s desk. She bowed her head politely, which made Zelda roll her eyes. Of course she would do that. Being all proper-like, like she wasn’t raised in a barn.

“Oh look, better not catch the hay fever from Farm Girl.” Zelda sneered toward her friends as Rowena walked past her desk to find her spot.

The other girls snorted and eyed the smaller girl down, thinking they found their new harrowing target. Rowena ignored them, chin lifted and unamused as she sat down primly. She sets her textbook down and brings out a quill and ink jar. Unlike the rest, her quill was weathered and old, and her jar barely had a drop left.  

“Okay, settle down, witches and warlocks. Now, if we can begin our lesson. Ahh...Rowena, I see you need a refill...”, Professor Ghastly began. He lifted a finger and her jar refilled.  

Rowena gaped in surprise and smiled. “Thank you, Professor, sir.”, she replied sounding so refined as she sat upright ready to learn.  

Zelda could not help but roll her eyes at this. There was no way her favorite teacher could take this peasant seriously. She didn’t even have her dress all the way buttoned at the front, the collar not propped up around her neck, rather it flopped down. Her messy curls were all astray and her fingers were already stained with ink from perhaps having used it in earlier classes. Yet, the way her green eyes lit up, eager to learn, eager to take in this lesson-the same enthusiasm Zelda had about learning made her wonder: would she take this class seriously? There had been no doubt that Rowena acted theatrically about everything, acting horribly to get her way-oh no. All that little teenaged girl had to do was bat those gorgeous eyes and she’d get her way. At least Zelda had her peers on her side, for now at least.

"Now for today’s lesson, we’re getting right back into trapping a demon into an archeron. You see, many warlocks of our time have created this contraption in efforts to seal away the most abhorrent or pesky demons that victimize a witch or warlock’s home. You see, the home of a spellcaster is the most vulnerable for what reason...Mr. Redburn.”, Professor Ghastly begins his lesson and calls on Bradley.

 Bradley Redburn snaps out of his daze as some of the students turn to face him. Professor Ghastly loved to call on those who weren’t paying attention. If one had been asleep, he would place a simple ,harmless charm to jolt them awake. It amused him greatly as it had the students.  

“Uhh...”, Bradley contemplates as he plays with his fingernails. He obviously had no idea what the answer was. It annoyed Zelda to bits that no one could be as passionate about these lessons as her.  

“uhh...”, he drones on again and averts his gaze from his patient professor. “Because that’s where people sleep?”, he finally guesses.

Professor Ghastly sighs unsatisfied by that answer. “You’re on the right track. Ms. Spellman...”

                     Zelda perks up in her seat ready to answer.  

“Why is a spellcaster’s home vulnerable?”, He asks again knowing very well Zelda could get them through the lesson.  

   Zelda knew people envied her for her attainable knowledge. If anything, it made Zelda feel special. It made her feel proud that she added nothing but respect to the Spellman name.  

  “It is vulnerable because a spellcaster’s home is known to be the heart of their power. You see, most spellcasters...”, she glances at Rowena wanting her to know she didn’t belong here. “have a long line to their name. They remain in the family home, where magic is built upon, where the ancestors remain to guide their successors to improve their bloodline. Destroying the heart would destroy the very thing that connects a spellcaster to their family, their honor. A demon may want to attack that to test us in the Dark Lord’s name. If we pass the test, the Dark Lord rewards us.”

  Rowena tries not to scoff at the so obvious hit below-the-belt comment thrown from Zelda. Nonetheless, she takes notes on Zelda’s answer, finding that part very vital in learning the culture of this coven-family was important.  

Professor Ghastly’s expression brightens as he pats Zelda’s shoulder and walks on through the aisle of desks. “Very good, Ms. Spellman. If you would all focus on your studies, you would understand the importance of defense. You should not let anything deceit your family name. The Dark Lord will smile upon future lines as long as you remain in good graces with him. You must understand he doesn’t mean to foil with us, make us feel small. We owe it to him to accept his tests and gladly do as he tells us. Now, I am going to show you diagrams of different archerons.”

Professor Ghastly made his way to the front of the classroom. He waves his hand over the chalkboard chanting under his breath. Before their eyes, an archeron was drawn on the board, filled with runes and sigils at every angle. The students watch in awe.  

“This is an example of an archeron. A warlock and friend of mine created this trapping a demon who tried to snatch his children from his beds. Now sigils and runes make a spell, whether that be just specific to the demon or it be dependent on a warlock or witch’s background. Do any of you recognize these runes?”

Everyone in the room is silent as they observe the picture. Zelda redraws one of the runes on her parchment paper as if to help her decipher it. In all honesty, it had her stumped. She swore she never saw this before. She couldn’t have missed a lesson unless this was something they were yet to go over.  

Suddenly everyone whips around in their seats seeing a fair, small hand raise up. Zelda follows their gazes and finds they’re observing Rowena herself. She knew? No way...

Professor Ghastly’s brows rose though he didn’t look so surprised. It’s like he felt like she would have known. Were they in cohoots?  

“Yes, Ms. Macleod. What do you know about these runes?”, Professor Ghastly questions as he sits at the corner of his desk.  

Rowena barely took notice at the eyes on her. She clears her throat and sits up more in her chair, legs uncrossing beneath her desk. “They’re Celtic.”, she responds. “I have seen those on some of the old monuments in my village. I studied them as they are a part of my culture and within my family line on my mum’s side. Those specifically translate to ‘The ‘napper of the furnace, ye shall not snatch the children of the Night. They are the future and are in the hands of the Dark Lord when they’re ready to give in’. It is clear that the warlock who created this has Celtic or Gaelic origins or...if we’re to be specfic...”

The students lean forward in their seats in innate curiosity. Zelda feigned disinterest, but she wanted to hear more, especially from that accent of hers. She licked her lower lip quickly and held onto her quill.  

“It is the demon Fideal. It is known to inhabit a body of water-to drag down women and children to their deaths. Perhaps, the warlock’s children had been playing by the water and so he decided to trap the demon once and for all.”, Rowena finished and leaned back in her chair looking pleased with herself.

 Fideal? Zelda never heard of that demon. How ironic, that the demon in this lesson was one from her homeland.  

Professor Ghastly chuckled and nodded. “Very good, Ms. Macleod. It seems you could teach us a thing or two about your culture.”  

Rowena flashed him this bright smile. “I would love that, Professor.”

Zelda nearly broke her quill, teeth gritting in irritation. She couldn’t get her favorite professor to like her too.  

“Wonderful. Now, yes, it is not always the spellcaster’s origins that inspire a spell or trap although, using one’s family’s skill to outwit a demon is always helpful. You see, you also need to know your enemy. Not only should we take into account on what we know of ourselves, we must also be comfortable in learning to adapt-to use what we learn to expand our knowledge to perfect our powers.” Professor Ghastly went on and then turned his back to create a new picture.

Zelda looked at her trembling quill, her nerves and anger getting the better of her. She twisted her lips in thought, giving a quick glance toward the satisfied Rowena. She put two and two together forming a most delicious plan. Zelda formed a smirk reeling her attention to her ink jar. She lightly dabbed her quill as if attempting to write some more. She lifts the quill and yawns before flicking it in Rowena’s direction to splatter her with ink.  

Zelda’s friends watched knowing very well what would happen in anticipating. They covered their mouths from an eruption of laugher.

What Zelda didn’t expect was Rowena’s attentiveness.

As the ink flew, making its way in Rowena’s direction, drops almost landing on her nose and the white drooped collar of her dress, her hand lifted halting the drops in place. Her green eyes changed, emitting this bright purple glow. The drops hovered in place, pulsating, awaiting for their permission to move again.  

The room grew silent, jaws all agape in surprise. Zelda gasped inaudibly, the sound caught in her throat. Zelda paled and gulped wondering what Rowena’s next move could be. How did she do that? No witch she met could do that, could just freeze time without an utter of a chant or spell.  

Professor Ghastly turned on his heels feeling this energy in the air. He himself stood there in shock. This witch was like no other witch-no, she was different. He marveled at how composed she made herself to be, her glowing eyes concentrated at even the tiniest drops missed barely by the human eye. It’s like she could even freeze the entire room with that magnitude of power in that petite body of hers.  

Rowena held her breath before exhaling and pushing the droplets forward. Her eyes dimmed, hand lowering. The droplets fell right on the floor in front of her desk, nearly missing Lottie Scuzman’s hair, landing inches away from her chair leg.  

Zelda did not move a muscle. Her throat dried. What was she? No witch can be that powerful, can she? Zelda turned in her seat quickly and set her quill down. Rowena did not back away from her promise. She did not expect this.  

“...w-wow.”, Professor Ghastly stammered and fixed his composure. “I-where did you learn that?”

Rowena shrugged and tapped her ink-stained fingers on her desk. “As long as I can remember, I’ve been able to do that. My mum would tell me it’s because I am a natural witch.”, she explained. “Also, as long as I knew how to defend myself...I wouldn’t need a spellbook.” At this, she looked right at Zelda.

Zelda didn’t need to look at her to know her eyes bore on her. Rowena: 1, Zelda: 0.  

Zelda hid her face of defeat.

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  Spellman Home-the Holidays in the Past.

Being back home is what Zelda dreaded the most. She hated the holidays. This would mean she would have to face her father, Wilbur Reginald Spellman. Most would say Zelda resembled a lot of her father, with the strong chin, her blue eyes, and uptight demeanor. What her immediate family members would say is that they butted heads solely because they resembled each other in personality.  

Vesta Gale Spellman, her mother, is the silent submissive type. She hung on to every word of her husband with little to no opinion on her own. Still, she was pretty to look at with her fair strawberry blonde hair and her hazel eyes. She serves the family dinner and then pushes in the youngest Spellman’s seat with a light brow raised.

“Sit up, Hildegarde, dear.”, she chided the youngest quietly.  

Hilda. Sweet little innocent Hilda. Next year, Zelda’s little sister would attend the Academy of the Unseen Arts. Tomorrow night was her Dark Baptism. Zelda hid her enthusiasm that finally her little sister would be signing her name away to the Dark Lord’s book. She knew deep down her sister had her doubts. Every night, whenever Zelda was home away from school, she would taunt her sister, giving her fiendish nightmares so that should would finally give in and stop being afraid of that important night. She couldn’t squander the Spellman name. Zelda, in fact, was doing her a favor. If Hilda didn’t participate, she would find herself in one of Father’s fits of rage. Hilda knew going to the Academy meant she would never escape the terrorism of her older sister.

Zelda could not wait to harrow her little sister. She counted on it.

However, Edward had one more year in the Academy. Hilda would be safe in her first year. It made Zelda boil with anger that Edward always defended Hilda. Hilda’s growing of a backbone would simply be a necessity, a lesson granted by a loving older sister.  

The children waited until their father joined the table so that they all may join in prayer to the Dark lord. Wilbur cleared his throat and set a napkin neatly on his lap.  

“Good evening, children. Welcome back home, Zelda and Edward. Hildegarde, you will start next year. Your Dark Baptism starts tomorrow at midnight. Are you ready to take in the Dark Lord?”

 Everyone turned their attention over to the youngest. Hilda’s eyes hardly met her father’s. She nearly trembled in his presence, always having feared him. She fixes a small strand of her blonde hair before answering sheepishly.  

“Yes, Father.”

Wilbur accepts that response and nods. “Very well. Now, let us join in prayer. Dark Lord, may you continue to guide this family in your beautiful darkness and present even more wisdom into our lives so that we may continue to grow our line with the Spellman wit. We will present our last child to your grace tomorrow at the blood moon. We thank you for providing our sustenance, our power, and the shelter that covers our heads. Praise Satan.”

They all murmur ‘Praise Satan’ after him. In synchronicity, they pick up their forks to eat,  Hilda being the only one who doesn’t dig right in and picks around to eat the vegetables, of course.

Zelda ponders on her father’s prayer. Not everyone had always had a roof over their heads. She thought about Rowena. She came so far and must have gone through so much to finally have a roof, to have warm food to eat, water to drink. It must have been because her name had not been written in the Book. Perhaps, Father Mephisto would organize a Dark Baptism for Rowena as well. As if the coven would accept her. Zelda pushed her thoughts away and shook her head. That girl thought she was so great with her...not-so-interesting powers. Still, a part of her begged to know more, begged to see more...longed to learn from this ‘natural’ witch.

“Father...”, Zelda piped up after a long uncomfortable silence. “What is a natural witch?”

Wilbur set his fork down and stared at his plate. His brows rose in surprise, blue eyes searching for his wife’s hazel ones. Vesta shared the same expression, but did not say a word as usual.  

“Where have you heard of this? Have they been teaching of things outside of the Dark Lord’s realm?”, he interrogated.  

Everything felt like an interrogation around Wilbur. He did not know how to make a room lively. His demeanor matched the darkness of the family home. Only Edward and Hilda’s rare smiles could lighten up a room when their father was away.  

“What do you mean outside of the Dark Lord’s realm?”, Zelda asked eyes filled with piqued curiosity.

Edward wiped his lips with his napkin, head tilting in the same growing curiosity his sister had. Hilda chewed on a piece of squash, round green eyes filled with intrigue. Both of her siblings waited for their all-knowing father’s response.  

Wilbur did not expect that question, but he knew better than to underestimate his daughter’s irritating yet brilliant mind.  

“There are witches who have their source elsewhere and there are those who have powers unexplained. Powers bestowed to them by birth.”, Wilbur explained. “Those born with this are misguided, not having the Dark Lord in their lives. It is all heresy. That is why the Dark Lord does not protect them unless they give themselves over.”

Zelda furrows her brows, her calculating mind stewing. “If they are born with such abilities, where do they get it from?”, she pressed on, teeth ripping the mortal flesh from her fork.  

Vesta shakes her head at Zelda’s curiosities. She taught Zelda better than to keep questioning what is outside of the Dark Lord’s reach. She hoped it wouldn’t give her these ideas.  

“Why are you asking such horrendous questions? Do we need to speak to your Professors?”, Wilbur’s voice grew an octave.  

Vesta places a hand on her husband’s shoulder as if to sate on an upcoming battle-the usual occurrence at the Spellman table between father and daughter. She didn’t want to have to deal with both disastrous tempers. Wilbur visibly calmed, shoulders slowly releasing their tension.  

“My dear, remember what the physician said about your hypertension.”, Vesta murmured.

Wilbur sniffed and rolled his eyes. “Your daughter is asking the inquiries of a heretic.”

Zelda shut her eyes counting to ten before daring to defend herself. She hated that her father took things to the extreme.  

“I am asking because the Academy took in this new witch. She has not signed her name in the Book. She was brought in from the storm and had nowhere to go.”, Zelda began to explain.

Wilbur scoffed beginning his retort, “Since when do we unquestionably take in a witch? How do we know she isn’t a spy?”

Edward cleared his throat before he spoke up on behalf of his sister. “Father Mephisto grant it so.”, he responded calmly. “He foresees the Dark Lord bringing her to us so that we may perhaps guide her on her way.”

Oh yes, perhaps if Zelda dissuaded the intruder from the Dark Lord, then she wouldn’t further invade their lives.  

Wilbur lowered his gaze to the table. “If...”, he takes a sharp inhale. “Father Mephisto bade it so, then he is correct. The Dark Lord speaks to him. Perhaps, the Dark Lord should usher the child onto the Path of Night.”

Zelda stifled a scoff and played with her food this time. She still yearned to know more. “As I was saying, the girl had been taken in. In class yesterday, we discovered...something strange about her. She revealed glowing eyes as she froze an object.” Her blue eyes moved over to her father who paled in shock. “By your countenance, something tells me you know exactly what this is.”

Hilda’s eyes widened as she glanced between her sister and her father. “Her eyes glowed and froze something?”, she spoke up, voice pitched slightly higher.  

Wilbur balled his fists and maintained his composure. “Yes, I have heard of this. What you witnessed was indeed that of a...natural witch.”, the last part subdued.  

Zelda’s eyebrows quirked, brain marveling at the thought something more to their dark path existed-something she could use against the girl. “And where does a natural witch get their powers?”

Wilbur actually appeared stumped. “Natural witches are rare, Zelda.” He sat up straight before he continued. “In fact, not one of us know where they get it from. Most have died in the time of the Greendale Thirteen. Apparently, they weren’t wise enough to hide themselves in the shadows, thinking they could win over the mortals with their...mystique.”

He sounded almost rigid with his explanation as if he did not agree with the ways of a natural witch. Zelda took note of this.

“But perhaps if the Dark Lord commands it, we must welcome the new witch. He presents us with a test. If we change the ways of this young witch, then we may have more power on our side to the Path of Night. We mustn’t disobey the Dark Lord’s wishes, can we?”

Zelda sets her jaw as she holds contact with her father, the room being still and tense. She slowly nods in agreement with her father.

“Of course, Father. We shan’t.”, she replies with a small grin and fingers crossed behind her back.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

To be continued... ;)

[mob-likes-milk]

Hi!! Can I ask a scenario where the reader is having like a sleepover with mob and in the night, the reader woke up and see ???% cuddling against them? I hope it's not too weird ! Have a nice day! 💖

the sweet comfortof an embrace

Pairing: Reader x Shigeo Kageyama (Mob) (Mob Psycho 100)

Summary: (Angst & Fluff) Duringone entertaining sleepover, (Y/n) decide to share some of their worry with Shigeo,their childhood friend. They are pleased he’s able to reassure them, but in themiddle of the night, it’s their turn to take the role.

Warning: Descriptionof a nightmare & mentions of panic attacks and wounded people.

Word count: 4581

A/N: I made your request very long, I hope it doesn’t bother you too much! I wanted toexperiment a bit with my writing and got carried away! (again) I had so many ideas forit, if you want me to redo it please tell me! Maybe make it fluffier orsomething! ♡

Anyway, I’m finally back from my hiatus! It was really stressful and I’m quite upset because I didn’t make itas I expected, but writing your requests calms me down and generallymakes me happy! I really hope you’ll like this story, which I found the conceptvery cute! Be ready to get more stories soon! (*´∀`*) ♡

Themidnight sky was painted with smooth strokes of sapphire and dark lavender hues;the delicate shine of the croissant moon and of the numerous ivory starsenlightened the outlines of the aligned residences. The appeasing chilliness ofthe air refreshed the rare passers-by crossing through Seasoning City, theirrestful walk guided by the warm light of the lamp posts and the few illuminatedwindows. The darkness of the night was torn apart by some awaken citizens who appreciatedthe everlasting silence of these late hours to study their courses, finishtheir work on important projects or to have fun with their loved ones.

Thistranquil night, (Y/n) was staying at Kageyama’s charming household. Their longtimefriend Shigeo suggested them to come over to spend more time together; he knewthey were free this time because their aunt didn’t ask them to look after theiryounger carefree cousins. They obviously accepted the invitation, theexcitement of stuffing their face in delicious snacks and watching stupidlyfunny movies was all they wished to have with the sweet and caring boy. Theythought about the event all day, their already packed bag had patiently waitedfor this moment inside their locker, right besides their clean shoes.

During the agreeablesleepover, hours flew by without them knowing. They enjoyed the late hours ofthe Friday night to talk about all the things they missed, to eat a mountain ofjunk foods and to watch the humorous movies (Y/n) brought. Already watchingtheir third film, the atmosphere of the bedroom felt light and gleeful; thelaughter of the (h/c) teen filled the air.

“Did theyreally end the movie by doing this to the dog? It should seriously be illegal.”They tried to muffle their uncontrollable chuckles out of the sleeping adultsand younger boy’s hearing distance, holding tight on the fluffy blanket theyshared with Shigeo. The boy only smiled back at them, unable to laugh at theblank joke. It wasn’t his type to laugh at funny movies, or anything in general,but he still enjoyed the moment he had this night a lot. He was besides the oneindividual he felt conflicted for so long; he refused to accept the feeling hehad for his friend when they were younger, determined to only feel a platonicaffection. But he can’t stop the loving thoughts of their smile, theirsparkling (e/c) irises and their outstanding capacities of being the sunshineof every life they encounter; they are truly special to him. When he knew they werefree from their responsibilities this night, Shigeo jumped on the opportunityto be with them; he wished for it for so long. At this moment, his heart jumpedat the rhythm of their laugh, a warm blush crossed his round cheeks, he trulyfelt happy.

Progress toward Mob’s Explosion: 67%

Thedelicate arms of (Y/n) made their way around their friend’s shoulders, thelaugh now muffled by the soft fabric of Shigeo’s top pajama. The warm of hischeeks increased, his hand hesitantly made its way up to their covered back,soothing them.

“Ah ah,thank you, thank you…” They calmed down and slowly retreated from the hold, to theboy’s dismay. “I think that fatigue is taking over me, we should probably go tosleep now.” (Y/n) suggested, their tired figure standing up to stretch.  Shigeo was also feeling drowsy from the longday of school and the wonderful night he shared with his crush, so he simplynodded in response and let out a short yawn.

They pickedup the laptop with almost dead battery off the wooden floor to their bag in thecorner of the bedroom. The sleepy boy used the small amount of time to placeboth their futons down and to gather the colorful empty packages to throw themaway.

Through thecomforting silence of midnight, (Y/n)’s mind was still bothered. Even after theeventful night, the bothersome thought they had for days sadly didn’tdisappear. They glanced to the side, spotting the pastel blue walking form oftheir friend and hesitated. Did he know how to deal with this type of problem?It’s not something uncommon for students to be worried about, but they didn’twant to ruin the whole time they had together to make him reminder of school,and all the stress that come with it.

Shigeo knewhis friend felt uncomfortable when he saw they were still in the corner of hisbedroom, fidgeting and frowning at the wall. He walked to them, concerned aboutwhat happened.

“Is theresomething wrong (Y/n)?” He queried in a whisper, surprising them out of theirintense internal argument. They looked back to meet his porcelain face, theytried to search an answer on his features but soon complied.

“I’m just…Really worried about a test…” They dubiously started, an exhausted sighescaping their lips. “My grades are getting worse these days, and I’m so scaredabout how my parents will react if it continues…” (Y/n) gulped, they knew thelight mood of the night as dropped because of their foolish thoughts, theyshould have kept these to themselves than to share it with their childhoodfriend.

“I know howyou feel.” Shigeo’s voice resonated inside the quiet room, his hand now on hisfriend’s shoulder. “It worried me a lot before, I kept stressing out beforeexams because I was afraid of failing.” He gazed back at the dazzling (e/c)orbs in front of him, his voice halted at their sight. He tried to composehimself before continuing. “I-I think the best way to pass tests is not toworry about them, don’t think too much before it’s time to do them.” A smallsmile was pulling on his lips. “You don’t need to panic on them when you knowyou already studied hard; your work will pay off.”

A preciousgrin adorned the face he admires, a shy laugh escaped the young student’s lips.“Thank you so much, I will follow what you said.” They answered happily. Itwasn’t much for an advice, but it was enough for them to clear away theirinitial worry.

The teensheaded to their respective futon, finally getting some rest of the day. Thecold sheets immediately calmed them, the appeasing feeling soothing theirdrained bodies.

“Goodnight(Y/n).” the raven-haired boy said calmly, his hand on the switch of his lamp.“Goodnight Shigeo.” They replied with a smile, the blanket already wrapped tightaround their form. Mob smiled back at the sight of his crush now relaxed. Hesoftly pushed on the switch, the vanilla light of the lamp disappeared in ablink of an eye and obscurity took over the tiny room. The serene atmospherequieted their past thoughts quickly, their minds drifted away to a new worldfull of mystery.

-

Darkness.

Shigeo’s vision was drowned in darkness.

Everythingfelt eerie, he knew he wasn’t in his bedroom at this moment; he was standing somewherebut his subconscious didn’t accord him any answer. He turned around swiftly,his black eyes inspected inside the obscure place, but the darkness engulfedany possible item or living creature inside of it.

His jitteryfootsteps resonated against the cold sleek floor, he ran across the unknownplace to maybe find a source of light to guide him, someone he could ask for helpor even a wall to reassure him he wasn’t going haywire, but his efforts werefutile. His lungs were screaming for air and his stomach was tied in a tightknot, where was he? What is this place? Does someone kidnapped him and confinedhim in this gloomy room? If so, what has he done to deserve this? A troublingfeeling took over his senses, an emotion of unease spreading through hisshaking body.

Progress toward Mob’s Explosion: 78%

His mind was suddenly attacked by apainful headache; his hands rushed their way to forcefully grip on his short ebonyhair to stop the swinging feeling, his feet staggered to barely maintain hisquivery figure. The distressing sensation worsened, imaginary colors burned hisalready teary eyes. His drained body gave up from the torturing feeling and he droppedon his knees, his pale face felt like melting by the boiling pain, the freezingsurface of the floor seemed to slowly calm it down.

Shigeo tried to steady his unevenbreathing, his throbbing heart felt like suffocating inside his stiff chest,the aching feeling of the unknown taking over his mind.

He didn’t know where to go until asoft, pure white light emerged from the blackness of the room to meet his fuzzysight. His head snapped to its source, a new refreshing emotion bloomed insideof him: hope.

Progress toward Mob’s Explosion: 75%

His glacial hands tried to clear hisbleary eyes, his palpitation calming in relief. He took a restful breath beforelooking back at the light, its outlines wasn’t from the dim glow of a shycandle flame, neither was it from a untamed and dangerous fire, it felt moreshaped, constant, and to Shigeo, strangely familiar.

The silhouette of a running childbecame clearer through the dark. Its spiky hair bounced to the movement of hispace and a kind black smile contrasted to the brightness he offered, a roundform was held by its frail arms.

“Shigeo, I’m so happy I found you!”The young boy exclaimed, its tone enthusiastic. It was a voice Shigeo knew toowell.

“Ritsu… What are you doing here?” Heasked perplexed, standing up in the process. His fingers started to pick oneach other; worry drawing on his features about what was happening.

“More like what you are doing there!But come on, I want to play some games! Do you want to play with me?” The youngRitsu suggested, handing to his older brother the glowing ball he was holding.Mob hesitated for a second, why was his brother a toddler here? And why was heeven here to begin with?

He shook his head quickly; he didn’tneed to be concerned about all of it now. He needed to reassure and to takecontrol of himself. He drew his hand nearer to the warm light, the transparencyof his skin turning his fingers red. The aura felt light and comfortable, hewill play with Ritsu and probably, everything will go nicely.

The moment his touch brushed on thecream shine of the ball, a deafening scream broke the silence of the place.Shigeo withdrew his actions, his hands trying to suppress the agonizing screechfrom piercing his eardrums. He glanced back at his crouching brother, his darkmouth no longer smiling, but wide-open in pain. Black tears travelled thegleaming face, the outlines of his figure turning to a bloody red. He panickedat the sight, what has he done? Was he okay?

Puddles of light red splattered theimmaculate floor, the cry of the toddler became louder.

“You’re the worst big brother! Youkeep hurting me with your powers, it hurts so much!” The red figure yelled, hisbody rising and falling to the movement of his wailing.

“Wait, Ritsu! I’m so sorry!P-please-” The room started to shake violently before he could finish hisexcuse. He fell on his knees and the sound of the screams echoed back to hisdirection. Everything was out of control. Everything was his fault.

Progress toward Mob’s Explosion: 86%

Flashy colors blinded his vision,his mind tried to concentrate on his breathing but he knew everything willbreak down. He tightly shut his eyes; it was it, the moment he will loseeverything.

The screams and the shake of theroom were incredibly more violent, he didn’t know if he will support thesituation any longer. His breathing was irregular, and at the moment he thoughthe will explode, the room was back to normal again.

He looked around, his breathingstill loud after what he experienced. He used the new calm of the room tocompose himself, loads of unanswerable questions flooding his troubled mind.

The clatter of shoes hitting thecold floor made Shigeo’s head snap to its direction, beads of sweat alreadyforming on his temple.  The enlightenfigure was considerably taller, its silhouette lanky and still incrediblyfamiliar. The young teen swallowed back the lump inside his throat, his handsshook at the adult in front of him. Was it his master?

“Oh! Mob! What are you doing on thefloor? Come on, stand up.” The voice of Reigen energetically demanded to thequivering boy who complied to his request immediately.

“Okay, now that you are on your twofeet,” He started, a black smirk forming on his gleaming form. “I want to tellyou my excuses.” He confessed nervously, scratching his neck out ofembarrassment. Shigeo’s eyes widened, did his master really apologized to him?But what was the reason?

“I think that… I bothered you toomuch today, and even this week.” His voice started to mumble, he wasn’t surehow to put his words clear. “You wanted to spend more time with your friend andI kept you away from that, I’m truly sorry.” Small tears started to blur hisvision; he couldn’t believe that his master finally understood his situation,and even his feelings. A genuine smile showed on his feature, this has to bethe right path.

“I think that I need to pay youbetter for your extra work, you deserve it.” The glowing figure handed to theboy a rectangular form, the edges of it slightly dropping. “Please take themoney Shigeo, it’s all for you.” Reigen’s dark lips formed a smile, his staturemore confident than before.

His hands started to shake again; hedeeply wished that, if he took the loan of money his master was giving him, theearthquake won’t start again. But he only had one choice.

Progress toward Mob’s Explosion: 90%

His hands proceed to be near the oneof Reigen’s. He retracted his fingers for a moment; the light the young adultemitted was warm and welcoming, he was scared to hurt himself if he touched itagain. He cleared his mind and went for it, his heart beating so fast in itscage.

At his touch, the light’s rim turnedcrimson red, oh no.

His tense hands gripped to his ears,a loud and deeper yell echoed through the room, a mixture of dangerously brightcolors coming from every corner of his vision. His trembling orbs tried to lookout for Reigen, panic rushed when he met the wounded form, firmly holding hisstomach.

“Mob, I told you to never use yourpowers against other! You will only wound them; you’ll hurt the ones you loveif you continue like that…” The scream of terror was making Shigeo crazy,uncontrollable tears ran across his pale face, he never wanted to be like that.“I really thought you would change Mob, I really thought you would change…” Hisvoice was becoming a whisper, the floor shook even more violently, theenlighten figure of his master falling to its side, bright blood spreading onthe ebony surface.

Progress toward Mob’s Explosion: 98%

“I’m so sorry, I-I’m so s-sorry…”

“Sorry for what?” A new voice askedcuriously.

The calm prospered inside theunknown room again, Shigeo reluctantly raised his head up to meet a figure heloves so much. (Y/n) was standing in front of him, the same dark smile adornedtheir glowing face.

“Nothing.” His dull voice replied.  “Well, okay, but you can always tell me ifthere is something bothering you!” They enthusiastically said, displaying theirnatural kindness.

For a second, he wanted to tell themeverything, from the beginning to minutes ago: his wish for this wholenightmare to stop, the constant torture he has done to the ones who he trulycared, the heartbreaking cries he heard, and the true disappointment he was.

His mind suddenly blew up. He realized he had neglected thefact he was a part of the darkness he wanted to escape; his form was mergingwith the infinite hole of despair he was destined to be from. He wasn’t asource of warmth and light like they were. They were the rays of sunshine ofthe lives they encountered, they made him feel better when he wasn’t feelingokay, they cared for him when he was sick, they made efforts for his experienceof life to be better, but he never did it back to them. He hates himself somuch. His emotions locked away because of powers he wished to never have, hewas cursed to be a boy who will never make them happy, because he can’t trulybe himself.

“My aunt told me I was free tonightfrom looking over my cousins, so that mean we can do something together! Whatdo you think?” (Y/n)’s light figure jumped at the thought, impatiently waitingfor his answer, but his lips were tight shut.

Progress toward Mob’s Explosion: 99%

They extended one hand to him, anadorable black grin pushing their soft white cheeks. “So, do you want to come?”They asked. Shigeo’s eyes trembled at the sight of their delicate hand in frontof him, he knew too well it was a lure, nothing but an excuse to accuse him forthe simplest act he would do.

“No.” His voice was hollow, drainedto even explain his reasons. His eyes couldn’t look at the dreamy light anymore;he watched back the dark floor. “W-wait, why? You told me you really wanted tospend more time with me and when I’m finally out of babysitting, you refuse?” Itwas so hard for the young boy to hear, he did want to spend more time withthem, so much, but he knew he will only hurt them. “I even told my parentsabout it, I said I wanted some time to myself, to be with you more.” Theirvoice cracked multiple times, he could even hear uneven sobs. He feared he madethe situation worse. “I know I can be q-quite clingy sometime, but it’s justbecause I like being with you! We are close ever since we were kids, I reallydon’t want to lose you…” The silence was deafening, both teen waited for theother to say something, but it led to nothing.

“I’m so sorry Shigeo, I won’t botheryou anymore…” Their footsteps hit the floor loosely, they tried to go away fromhim but they abruptly stopped, loudly crying from the building sadness. Theytried to muffle their sorrowful and uncontrollable sobs, and it was at thismoment Shigeo couldn’t hold back anymore.

Progress toward Mob’s Explosion: 100%Self-hatred

They kept hiding their misery out ofeveryone’s ears, dealing with their problems all alone because nobody tried tohelp them. But this time, he will do something. Shigeo hastily ran to them, hishand out to reach their darkening form. “Wait!”

Colors flashed when his fingersbrushed against the scalding skin, a burning feeling devouring his own hand at the touch. The same scream echoed inside the dark place, his eyes watery fromthe pain he was experiencing over and over.

“Don’t touch me! You’re a monster! Amonster!” His mind started to spin, his attention could only hear their cries.His vision grew dizzy and he feels the coldness of the sleek floor paralyzinghis burned palms, everything seemed to shatter. Was it the end? Was he donewith making everyone he loves suffer? Did they finally hate him now?

“You will kill everyone with your powers!You’re the worst Shigeo, I hate you!”

Progress toward Mob’s Explosion: 160%

“I hateyou!”

Progress toward Mob’s Explosion: 535%

“I hateyou!”

Progress toward Mob’s Explosion: 999%

“I HATEYOU!”

Progress toward Mob’s Explosion: ???%

-

Strange lights kept flashing against(Y/n)’s closed eyelids. They stirred, slowly waking up from their relaxing slumber.Their breathing immediately halted because of the uncomfortably stifling air, theyreluctantly opened their (e/c) orbs, curious of the uncommon happenings. Brightcolors completely illumined the room in a mixture of saturated red and blindingwhite, badly hurting their still drowsy vision.

They tried to stand up, mumbling totheir friend questions of what was the reason of these flashy lights, but theysoon realized they couldn’t move. A strong pressure strangled their abdomen,what felt like claws dug into their pajama top. They started to panic,something was off and they knew it. They tried to cautiously turn their head tomeet the source of this intense force and blazing colors, their mind wonderingto everything they remembered from the past night, but the sleep wasn’t totallyoff their thoughts.

Strands of ebony hair were nowtickling their sweat covered cheeks, a black silhouette clung on themand incomprehensible mumblings filled the silence of the bedroom. Their breathstopped, they were in danger.

‘Don’t be near Shigeo when hispowers come out, he can be dangerous’ Is what Ritsu told them ever since theywere toddlers. His big brother’s force is unstable, he can’t hold to them toprotect others, he knows he could wound the innocents if he tried. It isultimately scary to not be in control of yourself; been able to kill anyone ifyou are unconscious enough, and yet, it was the situation (Y/n) was in.

Their palms became clammy, their respirationloud and uneven; they needed to escape from him and quickly. The shaking formof the (h/c) teen tried to take hold of his frail arms, their hands forcefullypushing him off themselves, but he was much stronger than anticipated. His holdbecame more intense, his mutterings louder than before, they made the situationworse.

Stress overcame their senses; theydon’t want to disappear now. They didn’t say goodbyes to their family, theyhaven’t told how much they loved their cousins, their parents, their aunt, howmuch they enjoyed to be with them, how much they care about the memories theyhad here with them and Shigeo. This boy was here from the start and they wishedto be with him until the end. A welcoming family he had, people so nice theydidn’t deserve to fade away with the fresh winds of this night. Everything willdissipate and it will be their entire fault.

They held their breath for a fewmoments, waiting for the end to come, but it never did. The flash of white andred blinded their vision, but less than before. They expired the hot air fromtheir lungs, was this whimpers they heard?

The dark figure behind them wassoftly crying on their back, the sound of sobs halting their palpitations.Their ears were now concentrating on the sound, a feeling of concern shakingtheir thoughts.

After a couple of seconds, they realizedthey were right: Shigeo was wiping on their top, the beads of sweat formingon their back tainted their shirt with his cold tears, but how will they dealwith it?

They felt like they were defusing adangerous explosive, or hiding from a wild animal. They were rummaging through theirmemories to find any advice his family had told them for emergency cases likethis, maybe if they find something they could save everyone and-

“It worried me a lot before, I kept stressing out before exams because Iwas afraid of failing.”

Exams? But it wasn’t about examsnow, it was about something serious: saving lives, they-

 “I-I think the best way to passtests is not to worry about them, don’t think too much before it’s time to dothem.”

Wait, this advice could probably beuseful. Stress is an obstacle they need to surpass in this situation, maybethey could-

“Youdon’t need to panic on them when you know you already studied hard; your workwill pay off.”

It was the answer. At this moment,they knew what to do.

They exhaled and inhaled repeatedlyand slowly, taking away the amount of worry which built inside their distressedmind. They needed to relax, think of things that make them calm down.

What first appeared was a picture ofShigeo, of the precious smile he has when he sees them, the warm blush adorninghis cheeks when they laugh and his precious chocolate orbs they fall for solong ago. He makes them happy and they wouldn’t trade this feeling foranything. So if they wanted to experience it again, they had to save him.

Their now steady hands brushedagainst the tense ones of Mob; their fingers comfortably drew circles on hisvelvety warm skin, a soft hush escaped their lips trying to calm him down.Their actions started to pay off; the tight hold their friend had on themloosened slowly. A relieved smile showed on their features, will they make it?

Minutes by minutes, the blindingcolors started to let the darkness of the night take over the room again, the airbecame breathable but the sorrowful cries weren’t dying out. Cautiously, (Y/n)turned around to face their distressed and slightly awoke friend. He wastightly holding on them as of his life depended on it. Strands of hair were disheveledon his pale face, cheeks red from his uncontrollable tears rushing out hispuffy glistering eyes. His pitiful appearance was heartbreaking to look at, hisfriend’s expression was instantly lacing with extreme worry. Their silky handswanted to caress the sadness off Mob’s face, but his quivering lips made themstop their affectionate actions.

“(Y/n)… D-do you, do you hate me?”Shigeo asked softly, his voice was so quiet and calm; they didn’t restrainthemselves to snugly hug his drained figure back.

“Hating you? I don’t think it’spossible.” They laughed at their remark, watching as the dim light of the moonenlightened his figure, relief washing over his past concern. Lukewarm tears ofgratitude travelled his swollen cheeks, a genuine smile spreading on hisbeautiful face.

“Hey, don’t cry, you’re so handsomewhen you smile, you shouldn’t ruin that with those tears.” They continued to giggle,brushing away the warm liquid off his face. His face regained the crimson color(Y/n) loves so much, he was embarrassed of their actions but his pure eyescouldn’t look away from their mesmerizing (e/c) ones.

“You know, I really like you.” Theyadmitted proudly to him, a feeling of joy spreading when they saw the sparklesof surprise gleaming across his irises.

“So, so much.” They told calmly,holding close into his tense figure, their arms completely circling his chest.They could now feel his heart beating at an inhuman pace against their skin, a satisfiedsmile pushed their rose cheeks. Goose bumps made him jump from the loving acthe accepted wholeheartedly, the embarrassment of feeling them so close had alot of effects on him. He hesitantly rested his forehead on theirs, his eyelidsgently closed from fatigue, the side-effect from using too much of his poweroperating.

“I-I-I… I really like you, too.” Hereplied tenderly, the comfortable cuddles were calming him from the pesteringthoughts he had all night. Even if it was all a nightmare, he will still takenotes of it and let the ones he cares about know how much he loves them. But onlyfor (Y/n) tonight, the others will need to wait until tomorrow comes.

Progress toward Mob’s Explosion: 0%

[prorevenge]

You okay the project for the whole team? Great turn it in to the professor tomorrow

Tl/dr; Kids in group project don’t take having a real life client seriously, 1 fails, 1 fails and doesn’t graduate, and 1 goes from A to C and screws up GPA.

  Enough of the Backstory, here are the characters, obviously no where near their real names:

Matt - Professor

Client - Store owner

Damien - Project Partner

Jeff - Project Partner

Kirk - Project Partner

Barry - Me

      The SPRING class in this story was a Implementing Business Computer Systems class. For the yearly project we had a real life client that our school volunteered the students for Pro Bono work of small business in the area. We were seniors, so we are trusted with the clients work as it is oversaw by our professor. This is a big step and I, for one, am excited. I had been doing nothing but working as a Bartender/Server in a fine dining restaurant and having my head in books learning how to code with barely any time to do much else - this was an opportunity to get a taste of the real world we were about to embark on.

      The project started out fine, we all drive thirty minutes away to meet our client. A wonderful woman that owned a small floral business and she was paying 1-800-flowers to sell her product for her, which came with a website itself and a HUGEEEE price. This lady was also in her 60s and by no means fluent in computer - this is important for later. We talk, find out she wants a new website, her contract with 1-800-assholes ends in the summer. No pressure, we will be able to finish the web site and give it to her by the end of the semester, if not earlier. This will give us time to teach her what is needed and what to do so that she can maintain and run the website by her self. Afterwards we delegate the tasks, and since I have the most extensive background in coding and computers, I volunteer to learn how to create this website for our client as long as Damien, Jeff and Kirk work on the other parts of the project - the user guide and the technical documentation. For our client, this needed to be extensive so that she would be able to post her product on the website with an easy transition.

      As we weigh our options over the next week, we come up with some proposals to the client and we set a meeting to go over these on a Tuesday - the day everybody is the most free in their schedule - the following week. Sunday - Jeff says he can't make it, Kirk quickly responds and says he can't make it either. I say its cool, Damien and I will be able to make it. Monday - Damien says we should reschedule because now he can't make it. I say no, I will go by myself we shouldn't cancel on the client - no biggie, I understand things come up. As the project went through the semester, I am killing the website. I have a working e-commerce store integrated with the stores paypal, i have a shop tab, and a featured page for in season flowers. I ask about the documentation and the user manual and I am told by the all three of them that they are working on it and will have a rough draft for me soon to check out. Cool, No problem. Time to show the client the product to see if she wants any changes or if we should just continue creating this website for her; we set a meeting with the client on a Tuesday a week or two in advance and everybody says that is okay.

      Same song, different story. Sunday - Jeff says he can't make it, Kirk quickly responds and says he can't make it either. I say its cool, Damien and I will be able to make it. Monday - Damien says we should reschedule because now he can't make it. "I say fuck no, this is a client. You don't do that to clients." So I hop my ass by myself to drive 30 minutes to meet our client. I show the Client the website and she client is happy with the product and asks us to continue and she is excited for the finished product.

      How our weeks are set up is in such a way which they start on a Wednesday and end on a Tuesday. So the last day of classes are on a Tuesday. The school then gives an extra free day that Wednesday for a "Study Day", then the exams schedule goes Thu-Fri-Sat || Mon-Tues-Wed. I am sure you can infer what students do on that Tuesday before study day. Fast forward to the end of the semester, I still haven't seen any documentation or user manual and it is due on the class' exam day, which is the first day of exam week. So a week before it is due I am told I will have the documentation and user manual in my hand before our meeting which is at 12PM that study day - Wednesday. I receive a email at 11PM on Tuesday as I am getting off work and I see that is the technical documentation and the user manual. i open it up, promptly get pissed, turn off my laptop, play some xbox and pass out before midnight. The reason being, technical documentation was 1 page and did not contain anything about the Database Schema used, the website language, the paypal information, the emails registered. Just the URL and some other information that wasn't important and was half a page long. Remember how our client was in her 60s? The user manual was 1 and a half pages long and, I shit you not, contained about 5 sentences and 3 pictures with an arrow. 0 explanation on how to use the website.

      Come to the meeting at 12pm, I show up and wait about 5 minutes. I then text everybody asking where they are at, no response. I start looking over how to fix the user manual since I obviously have to start over. While I am working on it, I haven't said anything and then Damien walks into the room.

  D: "Did you get the docs?"

Me: "Yeah. You guys really think this is finished?"

D: "Oh yeah, it should be good to turn in."

Me: "Idk, I think we should add a little more, this is for our client, she won't understand this. Where is Jeff and Kirk?"

D: " ahhahaha We all got fucked up last night after finishing up the documentation, they are probably still passed out. Also, I'm turning it in tomorrow, if you want to do anything else go ahead, but whatever I have I am turning it in. I think its ready to turn it so I won't be doing anything else, I have other classes to study for. I already have an A in this class so it doesn't matter to me and Kirk and Jeff have A's as well so they don't care at all."

      Perfect he said the magic words and then he left with a flash drive. I immediately went upstairs and told my professor, Matt, everything. I said I don't want to leave my client hanging, yes my client, not ours. Matt said that he completely understands and even commends me for wanting to stay on top of everything and not give our client a bad taste for our students. He then asks why. I simply stated, "What you are about to receive tomorrow for 'our' project is completely unacceptable. It is unfair for us and for our client to leave her hanging." I showed him the website, which he likes and then I showed him the user guide and technical documentation. I asked for an extra week to finish the documentation and user guide - as I had a plan for what it should be and needed time to create it all. Matt said absolutely, but forget about the documentation. You obviously know what is in it, just focus on the client. So I created user videos with dictation, drove to the client and showed her how to use it all, where to find the videos. I even created a program that had all the videos inside so she could have it on her desktop and the program pulled up the video of her choice for whatever she needed help with with some buttons so she wouldn't have to search folders for the videos. I gave her my contact info and said I'll be here over the summer if she ever needs help with the website or has any questions and I can swing by.

    After all of this happened and afterwards I gave an update to Matt who also had an update from me. Apparently he almost failed the rest of my group because they turned in their project by slipping an unmarked USB drive under his door. He only accepted it after they emailed him asking him if he received the USB. Matt also called our client to verify my story of the fact that they never showed for client meetings and the client told him I was the only person that has been showing up. Hearing this from other people, anybody in my group that had A's in the class leading up to the project got a C, anybody with a B in the class failed. Damien's GPA was screwed up from this class as it was a 4 hours class. Kirk and Jeff both failed and Jeff wasn't allowed to graduate and Kirk had to retake it the next semester even though he wasn't graduating. My grade which was an 84 before the project was bumped to an A. The next year Damien asked how I did in that class because he was confused about his final grade, and I simply said I did fine, received an A. He has no idea the reason why. Don't f*ck with me and my grade and I won't f*ck with you.

(source) story by (/u/sw1mm3r202)

[rwbyconversations]

Why has Adam proved controversial after Volume 6?

Fandom is a culture that is constantly changing. It’s a culture effectively built around self-sustaining itself through fanart, music videos, fanfiction and discussion theories about the content the fandom is built around to tide them over until the next big release. Taking the RWBY fandom for example, it’s a fandom that’s really only alive for less than two fifths of the average year, from October to January when the volume itself airs. The rest of the year, RWBY’s fandom has to keep itself afloat through self-generation of ideas and the sharing of the aforementioned means of content to tide people over until October comes back around and the season starts anew. Headcanons and fan theories become commonplace and can become exponentially more popular than ever intended thanks to the gap in seasons giving it time to form and gain weight as a theory before canon can prove it wrong. 

What that long period of downtime means is that you can see previously loathed characters come back from the brink and gain a lot of fandom support and approval in the turn of a season. Or alternatively, popular characters can take a swan-dive in popularity, being reduced to joke status that they never recover from. People who swore up and down that “this character is trash and I don’t care what they do with them” suddenly next hiatus are on the other side of the trenches. One season can do a lot for a character in either direction is what I’m saying. 

Because that’s what’s happened the past two years to Adam Taurus. 

Adam after Volume 5 was a turbulent wreck of a character. Humiliated at the end of the season and forced to run with his tail between his legs, while his character lost much of the appeal that it had garnered over the prior four volumes, making him resemble a whiny child LARPing as a doomsday villain. It was a pathetic display for his character, one so infuriating it inspired me to begin writing analysis essays after a heated Discord discussion, and that essay struck a note with many of the people who read it and agreed with the contents therein, especially in regards to how much Haven damaged Adam’s threat factor. People simply weren’t scared of him appearing like they were prior to his smack from Blake, several comments even derisively writing off Blake and Yang’s rematch against Adam in advance because “they made him job before, they’ll do it again.”

 And yet interestingly, within the span of a year, the tides partially turned. With Volume 6 Adam wasn’t widely derided as a joke anymore, but in spite of that, the discussion around him was just as heated as it was last year. Adam was still the core topic of the argument but now the battle lines had been redrawn thanks to his death in the climax of Volume 6. Now it’s become commonplace for RWBY’s discussion communities to deride many of the dime-a-dozen posts about Adam and his “wasted potential” that have been arriving nearly daily like reinforcements to batten at a wall. But why? What changed in just one year that changed the entire argument around Adam? Why are his fans and critics embroiled in a new war to enter the hiatus?  

That’s what I’m trying to set out and accomplish in this essay. I am going to hopefully explain the primary reasons for why Adam is a controversial character following Volume 6, in particular why his fans are dissatisfied with the way his characterization was taken over the course of the show. Keep in m ind that parts of this essay touch on Adam’s abuse so if that’s a thing you’d rather not see, avoid going further. 

1) Headcanons were proven wrong

No one likes being wrong. Just look at students who get fail grades in exams, they’re usually despondent. It’s never something you lose as you grow up, in fact, Being wrong just sucks, to put it bluntly. 

Remember how I mentioned at the beginning that because of the content droughts fandoms experience, headcanons and theories can grow far further than anyone intended? Adam is an example of that happening for three years. 

Adam’s first appearance was in the Black Trailer, released on March 22nd, 2013. He wouldn’t make a significant appearance in the show until Heroes and Monsters, the penultimate episode to Volume 3, released on February 6th of 2016. His only significant appearances between those two dates was a cameo in the Volume 2 finale and V3C7, Beginning of the End, released on January 2nd. 

Adam’s initial appearance left much of his personality vague, barring that he was Blake’s superior, a stoic swordmaster and that he was fighting to liberate the Faunus from humanity with the full intent of taking a pound of flesh from humanity for what they’d done to the Faunus- to quote From Shadows: 

From Shadows, we’ll descend upon the world, take back what you stole, from shadows, we’ll reclaim our destiny, set our future free.

As such, the mental image of Adam that the fandom was given had nearly three years in real life to set in stone, that he was Blake’s former mentor who had fallen into extremism and terror attacks. Some even suspected going off Oobleck and Blake’s interactions in Volume 2 that Adam would receive a redemption from his wicked ways to show as an example of how Blake would redeem the White Fang from its own muck-filled past, or that Adam would need to die in an alternate variant of that story to show how far down the dark path he’d gone. Tauradonna was even a fairly high-profile ship in the early days of the show, being on roughly the same level as Blake/Weiss.

The headcanons were only given further room to grow thanks to adaptations of the Black trailer and early RWBY not taking the time to more properly setup Adam’s true character, in particular the Shirow Miwa adaptation. Miwa’s version of the scene, or at least the localized version, was released across two chapters in April and May of 2016, with the full book getting a physical print in the West in August 2017. Adam in the Miwa adaptation is far more talkative than his canon counterpart and even makes several dry quips throughout the fight:

When they first see the AK-130 guards (”Looks like we’re doing this the hard way” in the trailer): “Looks like all the seats are taken Blake.”

When asked who they are (Adam doesn’t have a line here): “We’re thieves.”

Upon seeing the Spider Droid for the first time: “Tch! He’s one serious baggage clerk.” 

Adam’s dialogue is also softened from his original dialogue to boot: 

“Buy me some time!” “But-” “Do it!” instead now is “Blake, buy me some time.“ “But that’s-” “I just need a second.” Blake also gets to make a quip that “You know... You’re fairly high-maintenance.” 

When Blake’s barrage ends, she says “I did all I could,” and Adam thanks her with “It was more than enough, get back.” All Adam says in the animated version of the scene is “Move!” 

The manga makes a significant addition to the aftermath of the battle, where Blake chides Adam for the ambush being sloppy. Adam initially just smiles as “that’s what you’re here for,” before Blake quickly rebukes him, cutting the train car as she says that the White Fang “not lower itself to bloodshed.” The last we see of Adam in the manga is him standing on the train carriage, pondering to himself “You think this is wrong Blake?” 

A similar change is And “Perfect. Move up to the next car, I’ll set the charges,” is now “There’s at least 5,000 cases. All right, let’s kill the engine.” “What about the crew?” Adam is silent and when Blake presses him for information, the Spider Droid attacks 

Prior to the train attack there is a scene added by the Manga where Blake says that the Dust will be redistributed to Faunus in need. She asks Adam to confirm this and he looks back over his shoulder, lips parsed, and says “Of course.” However the next page has a black box of him saying “Don’t overthink it Blake.”  

The point of this extended summary of the Black Trailer in Miwa’s adaptation is to show that even in adaptations of the trailer, RWBY didn’t do much to dissuade people from forming the headcanon that Adam was simply a fallen revolutionary. In fact the manga smooths out Adam’s rougher edges, making his dialogue less harsh and more sarcastic. Remember as well that these were initially released soon after Volume 3 wrapped and before the commentary confirmation of abuse, meaning that these gave Adam fans one last bit of material to bolster their ideas of what Adam was. 

Obviously, all of these ideas and theories went out the window with Volume 3 Chapter 11 and the subsequent reveal by Miles and Kerry in Volume 3′s commentary track that Adam was in fact an abuser. A lot of his fans didn’t take to this reveal well, which I’ll return to in a future section of this essay, since in part it shot down all of their theories about Adam and made him an irredeemable monster. Adam’s potential redemption was destroyed the moment he slapped Blake. 

It is telling that most of Adam’s more passionate fans are from the early generations of the RWBY fandom who were around since the early trailers, since there’s a sharp divide between those fans and the more common Adam fan reaction of “I like him in spite of the abuse or explicitly only work with AU stories where he isn’t as bad.” Again, no one really likes being wrong, especially when it means accepting you were wrong for nearly three years.

2) The abuser twist

Something that I’ve never liked about Adam’s turn as an abuser was how looking back at Volumes 1 and 2 for evidence of the twist in advance, it’s difficult to find anything concrete. I had this discussion on a server lately where looking at all of Volumes 1 and 2 along with 3′s first half, there was really only one agreed upon sign of abuse prior to V3 in Volume 2- Blake’s flinch when Yang goes to hug her in Burning the Candle. But the problem with that is that even this can be taken into a different context, as one of my friends pointed out. As she reminded the chat, Yang had already shoved Blake several times by that point in the conversation and Blake may have flinched instinctively when she saw Yang’s arms raise again. 

Of course given the context of Adam’s abuse, Blake flinching may in fact have been foreshadowing, or it may have just been her instinctively preparing for another shove. We just don’t know, and that vagueness around Blake’s past and the abuse twist is partly why a lot of fans argue that the abuse twist was never planned in the early stages of the show and was an idea introduced during production. This is not a concept new to RWBY- Monty came up with the Maidens one day while working on Volume 3 after all- but it does mean that for sudden character turns like Adam’s abuse, the question will be raised of “was this always planned or was it just something you added as the story flowed along?” 

Much of the cited evidence that Adam was planned to be an abuser from the early show is in a similarly murky place. Blake speaks of Adam in Volume 2 as a mentor (”I had a partner... more of a mentor actually”), Monty himself called Blake the “apprentice” in an interview after the Black trailer, and much of her subdued behavior compared to her more affectionate self seen in Volumes 5 and 6 can be simply explained as Blake keeping a low profile to avoid Faunus discrimination and the attention of the White Fang. 

Even in Volume 3 Chapter 7- Adam’s last scene before Chapter 11 and the confirmation of his abuse- things are kept vague. Adam even sharply rebukes his Lieutenant when he offers to hunt Blake down following the Black Trailer, saying “Forget it.” Adam’s plan is to go to Mistral without a care for Blake, which goes against his obsessive behavior seen later in this very season. 

Much of the evidence given for Adam’s abuse- him gaslighting Blake in the Adam short, Blake talking about him in Volumes 5 and 6 to Sun and Yang, his dialogue during the Volume 6 battle- is all retroactive evidence, which does not solve the initial problem of the initial seasons poorly setting up Adam’s turn. Much of the evidence for and against the twist is shady at best, and reaching at worst due to how vague the wording is around Adam. Blake only ever speaks of him as a partner or mentor, never belying a romantic connection outside of the volume 2 premiere with the drawing of him in her notebook. Certainly with the benefit of hindsight some may find evidence in Volumes 1 through 3, primarily that Blake is simply an unreliable narrator, but I still feel like the lack of clean foreshadowing to such a large part of Adam’s character it weakens the twist, and some of Adam’s fans remain bitter that his character underwent a drastic 180 out of relatively nowhere.

3) Simple preference

Being blunt, a lot of Adam’s fans just prefer the Adam shown in the early seasons to the one the show closed out on. This idea is often mocked by some that his fans just wanted to see a Vergil knockoff, but for some of Adam’s fans it just came down to wanting to see cool fights. After all, RWBY was built on the initial idea of well-designed characters having well-choreographed fights. The show advertised itself initially as “From the maker of Dead Fantasy and Haloid,” which to surmise, weren’t shows that lured people in for their narrative quality. Monty’s loyalist fans who followed from his freelance work and from Red Vs Blue followed for cool fights, and Adam’s fighting style and design made him an instant fan favorite. It has only been from Volume 3 onwards that the show has advertised itself more as a drama than an animation showcase, and as such some of Adam’s fans don’t care less for his character turn other than that it makes him whiny and edgy and they’d like to see him swing his sword a bit more.

While the idea of preferring Adam as a revolutionary over his Yandere self seen from V3 is also a mocked concept as it tends to be used by people less well-versed in expressing critique of Adam’s character and makes for a popular strawman tactic, a morally gray villain may have worked well for RWBY. Especially as Adam and Cinder both show in different ways that the series should stay away from villains with no redeeming qualities. 

Though I suppose at least unlike Cinder, Adam actually has a backstory, so I should count my blessings. 

To surmise, for some of Adam’s fans it was a purely physical love affair

4) Adam’s death and its connection to Bumblebee

Blake and Yang’s final confrontation with Adam in Volume 6 marks a significant step in their relationship, which means if you like Bumblebee then the emotional climax of the volume hits home for you. If you shipped literally anything else then at least the choreography was good, but if you didn’t ship Bumblebee and never liked the Adam abuser turn... hoo boy. 

Being blunt, a fair few Bumblebee shippers don’t mind the abuser twist since in the long run, it helped their ship and gave Blake and Yang plenty of angst to work through both alone and as a pair. I’ve said before that Blake’s recovery arc made for some good content in Volumes 4 and 5 barring the Sun slaps, and Yang’s PTSD arc, while bare-bones in Volume 4, was some of the more consistently good material that year when shown. And as such, Adam being made a one-note psycho who wanted to kill Blake suited them well, as it gave a clear villain for Blake and Yang to overcome while developing past their respective traumas. The problem of course being, Adam’s fans not appreciating this turn and definitely not appreciating the names they were called when they expressed this dissatisfaction.

This led to a litany of hot takes- “Adam’s fans only cared for the show and the character as an outlet for a male power fantasy,” “Adam’s fans were entirely made of sexists who just hated women,” “Adam stans are abuse apologists.” (Like 40% of the Adam fans I know are actual abuse victims so fuck yourself on the front of trying to use their trauma as a low blow) And to be fair, Adam’s fans responded with their own disappointing share of bad takes involving the dreaded words “wasted potential,” alongside murder and nerfing, but I go over those later. 

(also you know genuine homophobics but trying to avoid braindead reasoning here for my own sake)

Getting back on topic, I quite obviously detest this lumping in of all criticisms. For one it means that simply shipping something that isn’t Bumblebee and disliking the fight can get one labelled with accusations of homophobia. A disgusting tactic on its own, to say nothing of how some people use it just to deflect criticism. Liked Adam? Then you’re an abuse apologist now. It’s interesting to compare the response to Adam last year and this year, where suddenly the fandom went from dismissing Adam after Haven to suddenly being very insistent that his death was well done and that only bigots opposed it; a naturally insulting statement to any members of the LGBT community or racial minorities who took umbrage with the handling of the Faunus.

And speaking of, my largest gripe with Adam’s turn personally is how it overshadows his previous commitment to the Faunus. Even though Adam’s short shows him fighting for the Faunus, to the point where Lionized and From Shadows are both expressly about how the Faunus are subject to inhumane treatments, it all gets tossed aside for the sake of Adam’s obsession with Blake and I’ve always found the almost-retcon of “Adam only truly cared for his own equality” a bit.. hard to get a read on? Since the original reason for his fall was because of his rabid devotion to his cause/getting vengeance on humans. Adam in-setting had been prepped as a Malcolm X style analogue before most of these traits were pushed over to Sienna. I feel like there is a lot that could be said about how RWBY handles its racism narrative, especially when it pertains to Adam given his own placement in the narrative, but that such a thinkpiece would likely be hit with accusations of homophobia or abuse apologism likely curtails that idea in anyone’s head. Some voices in the fandom have even come forward and expressed their dissatisfaction at how the arc depicting racism got curtailed for a romance. Adam rather sadly could have been part of a cornerstone on a narrative about the natural consequences of violent extremism, but instead the writers went with a far shallower option in my opinion.  

Also being blunt the whole “Adam was just a secondary character for Blake and Yang’s arcs” feels a bit like revisionism of weak writing. 

5) Damaged goods

Adam lost a lot of fans thanks to Volume 5. You can argue about this all you want but the facts don’t change that the volume was overall one that shot his character in the leg. Alongside having him go completely bananas out of nowhere with the “THE BELLADONNA NAME HAS BROUGHT ME NOTHING BUT GRIEF” scene, Adam’s humiliating head smack from Blake that knocked him out for an entire episode and his Naruto run escape from the Battle. Put bluntly, people didn’t give a shit, especially after CRWBY’s own attitude was to mock Adam, further undermining any threat factor Adam was meant to have.

It’s quite obvious in hindsight that Adam’s short was made quickly, and was almost certainly damage control made to counter the backlash from the Battle of Haven episodes. Sienna’s inclusion has eve been admitted by Miles on RWBY Rewind to be done as pure fanservice for the fans who wanted more from her design, and it shows with how Sienna dominates the back half of the short. But the short’s nature as damage control, while ultimately well received, still marked it as a fix job for Haven. Even last year fans wondered what was the point of trying to hype Adam back up as a threatening villain given he would almost certainly lose any future battles he fought in. 

Ultimately, a lot of people just didn’t care about Adam. The damage had been done by Haven, and even a lot of his own fans wrote off him being allowed to be even half as competent as his Volume 3 self again. With even his own fans having written off his chances of being a fearsome combatant again and the crew openly reviling Adam, not to mention his own voice actor despising him, a mood of “why should we care if the crew don’t?” began to settle in for Adam’s fans. Some even looked forward to his death since it would mean at least in death, Adam was free of being written as a psycho Yandere. For some of Adam’s fans, his writing had been so schizophrenic that death seemed like the only way forward instead of dragging it out.     

6) “Wasted potential”

This is a point I don’t entirely agree with myself, but as this is an essay about why Adam has been controversial after Volume 6 I only feel it fair to include it, even if solely for the purposes of rebuttal. Wasted potential has become a set of dirty words to portions of the fandom thanks to the many, many, many arguments about Adam post-season. 

A rather large complaint is that Adam “jobbed” for Blake and Yang, despite neither of them really having gained much experience onscreen since Beacon. I disagree with this notion since it does take some details out of consideration for this angle- B&Y were both tired from earlier fighting in the day, Blake was shocked to see Adam out of nowhere and that’s why he overwhelmed her, Adam still actually defeats Blake at Argus and it largely comes down to Yang to win the fight, and V5 had actually set up her changing her fighting style to better combat Adam’s own style. 

One idea of potential for Adam that I will admit to liking is the idea of Adam as an ideological villain to Blake. Adam and Blake could have both represented the differing sides of the Faunus debate and how to achieve results, perhaps even going for a scenario where neither side was truly correct or wrong. Such a plot would have even had the benefit of tying the Faunus narrative into the wider stakes of the show while also humanizing it on a base level through their struggle. But at this point, this is becoming me wishing the show was something else. I’m sure a great fanfic could bloom from this idea in the future and I hope I get to see it one day. 

There’s also the entire idea that Blake and Yang “murdered” (it was self-defense) Adam since apparently this is a big deal. I dunno fam, you just ignoring all those White Fang goons RWBY killed in V2 by leaving them in the tunnels? The ones they smacked around during V3? All those people Yang probably killed in the Yellow trailer? Now seems like a bit of an odd time to draw a line in the sand about the RWBY girls killing someone. 

7) Conclusion

To conclude, there’s a lot of controversy surrounding Adam, and a lot that will surround his character for years. I feel like arguments around him will still be going by the end of the hiatus, if not for years to come. Adam has attracted a fandom from varying walks of life, but one thing I’ve noticed with some regularity is how many of of them themselves have histories with abuse. What unites a lot of them in their reasons for liking the character is the tragedy of how Adam is a person who has been persecuted then gained the power to bite back, but in his blind rage winds up lashing out at someone he is supposed to love. With permission, they let me share their accounts so I could put them here:

Be it purely visual/choreography appreciation, falling for fan theories and headcanons, his allusions to the Beast, the mystery of his mask and later branding, his potential as an ideological rival for Blake or for personal reasons, Adam gained a fan following from all walks of life over the past six years, who may not have learned everything they wanted to about him but who wanted to learn more regardless. Even if they only liked him just to watch him fight, Adam has a small if passionate fanbase, and I hope I’ve explained some of their grievances with the show as a whole now, particularly following Volume 6. Adam might have been a scumbag, but ironically his fandom has actually been quite pleasant to talk to, so I hope I’ve presented their more accurate or personal issues in a fair light. 

Thank you for reading. Please consider sharing the post around if you enjoyed it or think someone you know would. 

[anatomyandcappuccini]

HOW TO BE READY FOR SEPTEMBER

AND WHY IT IS THE PERFECT MONTH FOR FRESH STARTS

Hey! It’s been a long time since I wrote a master post here... And I’m really sorry about that. I had a pretty busy summer and honestly, I wasn’t that inspired. I barely had time to manage my new studygram (btw it would mean the world if you follow me!!).

However, I’m back now, stronger than ever as I got the opportunity to live tons of new experiences this summer... Good and bad. I learned a lot and I’m grateful for everything this period brought to me.

Now, let’s get to the true subject of this post, which is how to get ready for September!

Why September ?

Because September is a month that I personally love since it means that a new school/uni year will start, and I think it’s the best season to try something new or to switch your routine a bit. I’ve always been better at taking new initiatives in September than for the NYE and I noticed that every year I apply the same kind of ritual. 

We’re in the middle of August right now and I think it’s the best moment to prepare yourself a bit so you can start September in the best way possible :)

I also think you can link this article to a previous one that I consider super important and you can read it here if you haven’t already done it! :) 

Step 1 - Reflect

Take a step back and think about what you did during this last year. If you were at school, think about what you want to get better at, what skills you may want to improve and/or which study method really worked for you and which didn’t. 

Think about your current routine and/or the one you have right now and ask yourself if it will be sustainable once you start school, or how you’ll be able to do it whilst going to school every day. 

This will let you reflect on what you learned during this year, what you’d like to know more of, and what mistakes you may have made. Be thankful for every experience you have faced, and always remember that experiences make you grow as a person. Don’t criticize yourself, don’t judge, just observe, say « thank you » and use this as a way to become more mature and closer to the person you want to be. 

Also, don’t be afraid to be honest with yourself as this “reflection” time will really help you to set up your goals for this new fresh start.

Step 2 - Write down your goals

What do you want to improve? Do you want to start a new routine? Do you want to get rid of a bad habit? Do you want to get better grades in maths? 

Write down everything and be as clear as possible. You can also separate each goal by its specificity. I like to make 3 columns, one for each kind of goal :

My new routine goals : ex. Waking up earlier, eating more home cooked meals, doing homework right after going home, etc.

What I want to stop : biting my nails, neglecting maths, etc.

What I need to maintain : day-by-day planning, studying a little every day, actually reading the textbooks, etc. 

The most important thing is that your goals have to be achievable. Start slowly but surely!! 

Think about how you’re gonna achieve what you want, find new strategies, do some research and/or ask for tips! 

You can also start working on your goals right now so it will be easier once school starts. For example, my goals for September are to be able to wake up earlier, going to the gym more often and also trying to do more meditation. In order to achieve that, I’m already changing my routine because I have a lot of free time so I can “test” this routine and see if I’ll be able to stick to it once I start uni again. I’ll then adjust it in function of how it feels :)

Don’t be afraid to dream big!!

Step 3 - Get into the mood

September means a new start, and new starts mean that you’re allowed to change your environment! Here’s my non-exhaustive list about what you can do :

Review some topics that have to be well known for the incoming year. You’re late with the math program? It’s the best time to get in touch with it again! I know it may be super boring but you’ll be much less stressed when you start the year :)

Download apps and/or buy some books that will be useful for the incoming year! Ask to previous year students what helped them and ask for advice ! You may know super useful tips you never thought of!

Upgrade your studyspace/bedroom (check my article about this!) - it’s like buying new workout clothes : it motivates you much more. I remember when I switched my desk and bed I actually wanted to spend all my free time in my bedroom! 

Buy new stationery - new planners, pens, agendas, notebooks! Of course, don’t buy tons of useless stuff and make sure you’ll actually use them (even if having 10 super cute notebooks seems really tempting :P ) 

Make a September playlist!! I always love doing this, most of the time I add happy and motivating songs so they get me in the best mood ever :D

Make your vision/dream board!! This is the most amusing and creative way to help you visualize your goals! Save images/pictures/quotes that you like, and print them or make a collage and make it your new computer wallpaper or hang them in your bedroom. You just have to put it in a place where you’ll be able to see it every day!! By doing so, you’ll actually wake up every morning seeing your dream board and you’ll start the day feeling more inspired !

Talking about inspiration, I think September is a good moment to get rid of toxic stimulations. We may not notice it but most of us tend to spend a lot of time on social media. I don’t know you but I had a period in my life where I just woke up in the morning and the first thing I would do was checking Instagram and most of the time I fell so upset about my life when I was seeing all the “dreamy” pictures taken by “influencers”. It made me feel so bad that one day I decided to unfollow all these pages that made me feel like crap. For each page/person that you follow on social media, try to ask yourself if it actually inspires you or it just makes you feel bad/anxious about yourself. Unfollow every page that doesn’t bring you anything positive or that is not helping you get motivated. Follow instead pages that support the same things as you and that inspire you to be the best version of yourself!!! Remember P-O-S-I-T-I-V-I-T-Y is the key to success :)

Start a bujo, and plan your year ahead. Write down all due dates, exam dates, vacations and everything you want! Make reading lists, movie lists, new recipes, challenges, etc. I find it to be so practical and also creative. 

Start a new TV show! Since I started this studyblr I discovered Gilmore Girls and I absolutely love it!! It’s really relaxing to watch and Rory Gilmore is definitely my inspiration character haha. Just remember that watching 3 seasons in a row is a bit anti-productive :P 

Get informed about college applications/internships/jobs or everything related to your academic future. It’s always better to be informed soon so you can already prepare yourself.

Start a studyblr/studygram : I found it to be the best source of motivation I’ve ever had. Starting this blog is one of the best decisions I’ve ever made!! This community is honestly amazing and I love how supporting and genuine it is! I find it to be so inspiring and you guys share so many great tips!

So that’s it! I know that you may be very upset that school/uni/work starts soon but you can make this new start more fun! Personally, I always get a bit stressed in September because of the all coming deadlines but following these tips always helped me figure out what I need to do or what habits I need to change in order to SLAY this new academic year :D

I hope these tips will help you and that you’ll have a great fresh start on your first day!

Margot X

STUDYGRAM

[eabhaalynn]

So you want to be a doctor...

Congratulations on even thinking about this career path! It is undoubtedly a noble one, and one which will be very rewarding. You probably love science, you probably already work super hard at school, and you’ve probably got your own personal motivation that I will never properly understand. All of these are admirable, and I know I was in your position not too long ago.

Over the next few years, and probably over the last number of years, you will have some life experiences that will be truly incredible. These experiences will be inextricably linked to your career choice, and you should be so grateful to have them. My own volunteering in my community, with the FRIENDS group, is probably the most formative experience of my life. It is definitely what inspired me most to be a doctor, and I miss it to this day. More recently, I have got to see incredible doctors at work, both in the UK and US. They are such incredible communicators, saving and changing lives every single day – I am overwhelmed with gratitude and I don’t doubt that these experiences will change your life for the better.

But today, we have to be realistic, so here is the rest of what the last three (give or take) years have taught me about trying to be a doctor…

You almost certainly can do it.

I did my GCSEs at a school where not many people do medicine, and the ones who do are the ‘geniuses’ who don’t know what anything short of an A* looks like. You should all know that I am not one of these geniuses, at all. In fact, I barely remember what an A* looks like. So, as you may expect, when I announced my career plans to my fifth-year careers teacher, she told me that I ‘wasn’t academic enough’ for medicine and would never get to the interview stage of the process, so I’d be better off trying something else. My predicted GCSE grades were fairly unremarkable; 2A* 6A 2B. However, I am far too stubborn to listen to any career’s teacher, so I did try. I tried far too hard and did unexpectedly well at GCSE. Two years on, I am in a fairly similar academic dilemma; but this time I have a firmly accepted offer to study medicine. It’s all about progress. So, what I’m really trying to say is that if I can get a medicine offer, you can too. And please don’t listen to careers advisors who try to tell you otherwise.

Just because you can, doesn’t mean you should.

It’s almost exam season, and you’re going to work so hard and do so well, whatever stage you’re at. After exam time is summer time, and that’s when you’ll have time to have a really good think about what you’re getting yourself into, and why. (I know and fully understand I am only an upper 6thand have no right to talk about medicine as a degree or career – just the application).

Using my own personal experiences, here is what the application process was like for me…

SCHOOLS

Yes, this is a bizarre one. But essentially, I changed schools for medicine. I was THAT committed to the cause. And I promise the application process will still leave you feeling like you want to study anything but medicine.

Personally, I wasn’t too torn up about leaving, but it can be a really big deal. Certain courses require certain A Levels – and for the courses I wanted to apply to I really couldn’t have stayed. This isn’t make-or-break stuff, but it’s not something I gave much thought to until it was almost too late.

GCSEs

These are important exams. Most medical schools will either rank them standalone or on a point system before they interview you. You should definitely study. These are also probably the last exams you’ll sit at school where your hard work is almost guaranteed to pay off – so you’re better off putting in the work now. Better GCSEs would have made my sixth form experience infinitely easier, and worse ones could have made it far more difficult. They are not, however, an ultimatum. They do not define you or your ability to be a doctor.

VOLUNTEERING AND WORK EXPERIENCE

If you’re volunteering to get into medicine you’re doing it wrong. But volunteering for the good of your community and for the good of others, even for the sheer experience of it, is probably one of the greatest things you can ever do. Start as early as you can, and put in all the hours you can, while you can. Some experiences won’t be brilliant, but they’ll be worth it (and some medical schools need it.)

As I mentioned earlier, work experience is incredible, but it can be difficult to organise. Start contacting doctors and healthcare professionals you know as soon as you can. They were very accommodating to me – they’ve all been where we are. It can also be quite consuming, while my friends were making big money in retail, or with their talents (sailing and music namely) I was making tea in hospitals, unpaid. Again, this isn’t a big deal at all, it’s just not something I would ever have considered.

OPEN DAYS

Medicine isn’t the kind of vocation that you can decide to just stay at home to study. You need to accept that if you live in Northern Ireland, ¾ of your choices will not be in Northern Ireland. I am a wee bit apprehensive and so I spent a great deal of my sixth form experience travelling up and down the country, visiting all sorts of medical schools I was thinking about applying to. This has clear financial implications, and I completely understand that it is not accessible for everyone. It’s definitely not a necessity, but its something I’m really glad I did.

Not all medicine courses are the same, not all cities are the same. You’ll be spending five or six years of your life at these Universities, so you’re better to do your research on them rather than wasting a space on your application.

AS LEVELS

Lower Sixth was the hardest year of my school career. I was in a new school (which I love), studying new subjects (which I love), and yet I was really struggling. All of the medical schools I was applying to specified 4 AS levels in their entry requirements – so it was never going to be a fun year. Looking back, I don’t know how I did it. It was far more to handle than upper sixth has been. Study subjects you love, and just accept now that you will quickly stop loving them – especially chemistry. Try to balance a personal life too, because that only gets more difficult with time. In Lower Sixth, I was in a relationship, kept up my volunteering, and even had a job until Christmas. Your academic attainment will probably not be what it was previously, but that’s okay, it will come in time. Surround yourself with all the support you can, get a library membership and use it. Buy textbooks and get a tutor if you need to – again I know this has its financial implications. And please know that you will survive the year.

UKCAT

This is where the shit really hit the fan for me. It will make your A levels look like P5 English. My school were fairly supportive, and even then, I was still left largely to my own devices. I sat mine fairly early, and I’m so glad I did, because it really does have the potential to ruin your summer. Allow a solid three weeks to cram, there are brilliant resources online, and some books available. Again, if your financial situation allows, there is an amazing course that Kaplan run every weekend through the summer and it boosted my score significantly.

There is also the BMAT that certain universities require, I didn’t sit this myself but it’s supposed to be more academic based than the UKCAT. It’s also sat on a single date in October, by which stage you have already applied, and know your UKCAT score and how it sits compared with the average. I wasn’t willing to take the risk and didn’t like the uncertainty, but it is entirely personal choice.

PERSONAL STATEMENT

Do yourself a favour and write this in June. I am a firm believer that lower sixth exams finish early for a 4000-character long reason. I am one of the lucky ones and wrote my personal statement in one draft. There aren’t many people in my position, and I am well aware of how many people were so fed up and drained by this following AS Levels. But it’s so much easier to handle then than it ever could be in September. It’s also not nearly as long as you think it’s going to be – and that just makes everything harder.

UCAS

I sent away my UCAS application on Monday, 10thSeptember 2018. By that Thursday, I had received my first offer to study Genetics at Glasgow. Without meaning to sound arrogant, I could probably have got five non-medicine offers back within the week. But applying to medicine was a completely different ball game. My final ‘UCAS Application Status Notification’ email came on Wednesday 3rdApril 2019. Just a week short of seven months later. It was a rejection from a medical school. My third rejection.

Those UCAS emails give you the sort of fear that isn’t really comparable to anything else. The feeling of being rejected from a University who has met you, spoken to you, and marked your personality as unworthy, seems very personal. It does hurt, but no more than any fall out or heartbreak would. It just hurts differently because it’s a whole institution that has rejected you. This isn’t pleasant, but it is a reality for the majority of applicants and offer holders. So, if it does happen to you, just know you’re not alone.

INTERVIEW

I was very naïve going into the interview stage. Of my four choices, I had three interviews, within three consecutive weeks. I have one offer. Two of the interview processes were friendly, and they were manageable. The third was a truly awful experience. Thus, I think it’s fair to say that the interview process is variable. All of my interviews were in January, right in the rush of A Level work, I even had my attendance reported because of them. MMIs themselves can be fun, especially with relatively supportive examiners. But there is so much preparation required for a medicine MMI and the reality is that you can place in the top 20% of one University and the bottom 20% of another with very similar interviews. They take their toll on you, and are physically exhausted, between travelling, early mornings and the workload of the preparation. It is also, I believe, fair to say, that it can be quite emotionally destructive to have your personality scored and analysed in such a manner.

A LEVELS

Only when applying to medicine do a-levels feel like an after-thought. At this stage, I feel like I have been put through the ringer by this application, and to even get an offer has been more than I ever thought I was capable of. But you do need the 3As, in some of the hardest subjects and exams that boards can write. Its easy enough to forget that, but it is an immense amount of pressure, and it is still my present.

So you want to be a doctor…

I am so grateful to have got this far with my medicine application, and I do genuinely hope I get to study it in September.

There is so little accessible information regarding the details of the process and how to approach it without losing your head over it. I don’t think anyone has cracked it yet, and if they have I wish they’d write a post about it instead of this one.

Ultimately, you have to take care of yourself first. It’s what your doctor would tell you to do. You are more important than any and every stage of this process, and your own mental and physical health should come before every career choice you make. I hope to see you on the ward someday! But even more than that, I hope you get to be everything you aspire to be, whether you decide medicine is for you or not.

[neighbours-kid]

Twelve's March

March was….a chaotic cluster-fuck of something that felt like two weeks tops. March went by fast. And also—wasn’t it just the beginning of the year? Wasn’t it just Christmas? Where’s all this time going?

Anyway, March was really weird. Full month of university, relatively full weekends I think, it just all felt weird and fast and I don’t even know what exactly I did all month. Well, except watch TV shows. Well, I say TV shows…I mean Doctor Who. And with that, I mean Matt’s arc with Clara, and all of Peter’s arc. Which you already know because I wrote a massive blog post about it, yelling incoherently about all sorts of things and not remotely making sense, I feel.

March was definitely a month defined by Doctor Who and specifically Peter Capaldi’s Twelfth Doctor, who I have come to love so much, I still don’t know how to wrap my head around it. I think I’m just gonna have to buy all the DVDs finally and just—watch it again. Because I have emotions and thoughts and ideas and these little bits of je ne sais quoi about so many things in relation to Peter’s wonderful wonderful performance. But I don’t want to spend too much time rambling on about him (again) and waste your time with that.

As I said, March was a full month of university. And honestly, it has sort of started to overwhelm me right now. With me being me and having extended one paper deadline to the end of February, and also fucking up one exam of the last term and having to retake that, I completely fell behind on all my actual work that I had to do for this term. There’s one class that I can’t attend but have to take, so I’m working through a book by myself, there’s another book for another course that I ordered way too late, and there’s so much reading that I should be doing and am not actually doing. So I’m totally behind on all things and I often find myself with books open and texts on my kitchen table, throwing highlighters around and post-it’s, trying to get it together, and just ultimately making more of a mess.

I am very glad Easter holidays are coming up soon so I have time to catch up with that (of course only if I don’t have to work during that week, which somehow might actually happen).

I also started a new minor this term—theology—(and finally finished art history—never have to do art history ever again!!!!), so that is also a bit of a challenge, though I do feel a lot better about it than I did about art history. It’s really interesting and I’m learning a lot of cool stuff, and I’m actually pretty good at being present in class and taking notes, so at least there’s that. Funny thing is: my theology courses are incredibly affirming of my gender identity and my plans for the future, and a lot of the things I learn support my own views, which is really great.

Another thing that’s really cool this term, is that I’m trying to hang out in our English department’s tea corner more often, eating lunch there (now that I actually have time to eat lunch on some days), and just trying to socialise more with people. And it’s great! I’m having a lot of lovely conversations with a lot of lovely people, and I think it’s really good for me to do that and just to try and be more open.

And honestly, I really like being at university currently? I have a cool group of friends, I’m having a really great time and learning a lot of cool and interesting things (mostly. There’s some rubbish introduction courses that I have to take now). But my problem is, that as soon as I sit in my tram home, as soon as I enter my apartment, I am just flat out exhausted. I am so done. Which is also why I rarely actually get any work done at home currently, because all I really do is maybe eat something small and then fall into bed to maybe watch an episode or two of something and then go to sleep.

On that note: Daylight savings time was just last weekend here, and it completely fucked over my internal clock. Like, the day before that, I went to bed at like 1.30AM because I was reading fanfiction (later more on that), and got up very easily the next day even before 10AM. Daylight savings? I went to bed, I think, only a bit after 11PM and had to get up at 7.30AM, and I was absolutely knackered. I immediately dozed off again as soon as I turned off the alarm and it nearly cost me my entire day because I had to catch a train. And it’s still not back to normal, I still have issues every morning getting up. I hope it gets better soon, once I have a day to just sleep in without an alarm and get up whenever I actually wake up. I have hope that this is gonna work.

But now: fanfiction! I’m not sure if I’ve talked about this on here before, but I was big on fanfiction a few years back, mostly in my BBC Sherlock time. And before that too, I think, way back when I first started really getting into Naruto in a more intellectual way than just watching it on TV. But that was when I was like….in sixth grade, or something like that. But I was huge on fanfiction for a long time, and I think together with falling off of the Sherlock train after that last season, I also stopped really engaging with that part of fandom. But now, thanks to my binging of Doctor Who I have absolutely fallen down that rabbit hole again. It’s just such a great thing, isn’t it? People creating massive, massive amounts of, essentially free work. Just to express this joy and this love for a thing and to share it with others. It’s amazing.

(Short side-note here: Did you know, Archive of Our Own, one of the biggest fanfiction sites, was nominated for a fucking Hugo Award? In its entirety? Making, effectively, over 4.5 MILLION pieces of fanfiction Hugo Award-nominated literature, and, with over 1.8 MILLION users, making many of those Hugo Award-nominated authors? It’s fucking brilliant. What a time to be alive!)

What else did I do in March? I’m sort of blanking, because this month went by so fast. Lemme think….

I went to see Captain Marvel opening night (which was, officially, Men’s Night, which we crashed, because we wouldn’t usually support such sexist events, but it was Captain Marvel), and then again a bit later one more time, and it was great, just really fantastic. Carol is right up there as one of faves now. Also, Jude Law was hot.

On that film note, I obviously watched some stuff this month again and tried to make notes of it. Six movies (well five, but one twice), 64 episodes of TV (50 of which being Doctor Who), and a bunch of shorts starring David Tennant. Aside from Captain Marvel I think the movies I liked best this month were Bad Samaritan (2018) and Fright Night (2011), both also starring David Tennant, which is why I watched them. Fright Night was great fun, Colin Farrell was a fantastic, sexy vampire, and David’s vampire hunter/Las Vegas magician act was just hilarious. I love how much of a coward he was, ultimately. What a fantastic vampire movie, really funny. Also, Anton Yelchin was in it, and I just realised how much I miss him and what a shame it is that he died so young. He was a great kid and a fantastic actor.

Bad Samaritan was also really cool. I had wanted to watch it for a while, since it came out actually, because David was in it, and because Dean Devlin directed and produced it, and I really adore his work (Leverage and The Librarians, anyone?) I was always a bit hesitant though, because I’m not very big on films that are too horror-y and gory, so I always pushed it off. But I’m very glad I finally saw it, because it was truly more of a thriller and not a horror movie. Fantastic story, the acting was brilliant (DT as a villain? Come on! So good.), the tension and suspense was absolutely incredible. Really a great movie, you should all watch it.

I’m sure there’s other things that I did in March that would be worthwhile to mention (was at my dad’s, visited my mom, went shopping with a friend), but I’m really sort of hazy about all the details and I honestly can’t be bothered to write more right now.

Anyway, I’m having a bit of a break soon—going to Lugano for four days with a friend—so I can hopefully relax a little and recharge my batteries for April.

Talk to you guys soon! Bye.

[lightsandlostbells]

Skam Italia episode 9 reaction

shout out to the sheer number of snake emojis in the comments on any clip featuring or mentioning Martino

Episode 9

Clip 1 - Silvia spills the beans

Skam Italia being educational, kinda! I’m going to try out this headache technique. 

According to the subs I found, Sana’s janitor told her about it? … her housekeeper? That’s probably closer to what it was but I just like the idea of Sana going around striking up conversations with janitors.

But another version of the subs didn’t have that part at all so  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Dear Lord, Silvia, chill the hell out. Someone sitting in someone else’s car doesn’t mean they’re dating. Although lmao, Eva and Noora could have stood to learn that in season 2.

Actually, I do get how Silvia would be upset? She’s really jumping the gun but Edoardo just treated her like crap in front of people. I would probably be a little hurt that my friend was maybe hanging out with someone who hurt me. The problem with Silvia is that her motivation is less, “Eva, how could you associate with someone who’s treated me like garbage?” and more, “Eva, what were you doing with my mans???”

Evaaaaa, why did you trade that completely obvious look with Eleonora??? Just make it seem the most suspicious you can. I mean, if you don’t want to spill the whole truth about Edoardo digging for info on Eleonora, you can literally say “I studied for my exam in the car and he asked me about it” and technically that’s not a lie.

The flashbacks with Eva and Laura were pretty cute. Aesthetic hair-braiding!

I do like Sana immediately being like “lol why would you trust Laura” and bringing up the water throwing incident as a sort of logical evidence why Laura isn’t the greatest, as opposed to Vilde/Silvia saying something dumb and Islamophobic and Sana having to mention the water incident as proof of her loyalty.  Also Silvia looks humbled by Sana mentioning she was defending Silvia’s honor. 

Sana asking Silvia whether she has to meet her mother was a nice way of calming the situation for Eva’s sake while getting Silvia to leave before the problem can escalate. It was thoughtful for Silvia, too, as it gave her a chance to escape instead of digging the hole deeper.

I'm glad that the Edoardo lift had more plot relevance than just ship teasing (multi-tasking is A+) and I think that it’s good to illustrate how much it would break Eva is to lose a friend again. Her offering to let Silvia listen to the message she left Martino as proof is rather heartbreaking in its desperation. On the other hand, I don’t know how I feel about the emotional impact of this scene having to be more about poor Eva weeping and having to beg Silvia for forgiveness over something that was ultimately trivial and meant nothing, and that we as the audience know meant nothing, rather than Eva dealing with the guilt that she’s been carrying around for months over destroying her relationship with her best friend. That is the Big Secret Eva has been hiding from both her new friends and the audience so it probably needs more focus (which to be fair, is elaborated on in the bathroom scene later).

I saw some talk of how people thought it was an improvement that Silvia didn’t call Eva a slut, and while of course it’s nice that she didn’t do so, I don’t get why it’s better for Silvia not to call Eva a slut in this version since Noora directly confronts Vilde about it in the moment, it’s not like it was this casual misogyny in the show that went unaddressed. That was the point, it was a teachable moment. It’s certainly not worse that the moment wasn’t there, I just think it’s more about how it’s handled than anything else. (Also, I mean … Vilde being a jerk was specifically a tip off that something was going on with her.) 

Clip 2 - Eva talks to a friendly serpent

Martino knows all the school drama and social scene. It is pretty damn shady of him to be like oh yeah, they didn’t invite you because that girl whose boyfriend you kissed, her friend is organizing it, when he is responsible for the apparent non-invite in the first place, or so he would think. But he’s so casual about it. Not much guilt when he tells her that. Maaaaybe a little more when she starts to tell him about what she’s dealing with at school? IDK.

Eva sounds less angry or frustrated, more defeated.

I’m still wondering what her arc is going to be? Because there isn’t that pressing question of “who are you?” and her not having her own identity, it’s like … I guess she’s questioning whether she’s become a bad person? Sort of? She has Silvia making assumptions about her being a bad person, Laura thinks she is a bad person based on events that really happened, and Gio is questioning why she hangs around with bad people. That could be an area to explore in terms of her relationship with Laura but I’m not all that sure how it would play regarding her and Gio since Gio has made many of the same mistakes she has, he can’t exactly talk.

Martino trying to pull some reverse psychology is cute because he can’t quite keep a straight face. 

Sucks that this friendship is about to go down the toilet!

Clip 3 - Eva and the older girls

Heh, this angsty song gets cut off as soon as we establish that Maria does not give a crap who Eva is.

I always enjoy this scene and this advice. It’s one of the most underrated parts of season 1. These girls didn’t seem as invested as giving Eva some friendly advice but again, love that they get interested in their own sexual exploits rather than Eva’s and she ends up just walking away.

It’s nice that there was a totally logical, boring reason they didn’t get invites though how were they planning to invite everyone else once they stopped on Facebook? Word of mouth?

Mmm, I don’t know if I totally buy that Alice’s BFF doesn’t give a shit at all who Eva is? Of course her maturity is nice, and I can certainly buy that she doesn’t care enough to keep Eva from being invited to the party, but Alice got in a physical fight with this girl because she was that upset. . Like who were those girls accompanying Alice in the fight if not her friends? (At first they seemed like they wanted to hold Alice back but by the end it seemed like they were fighting as well.)

I think I’d have preferred if Maria was like, “Just between you and me, Federico is a fuckboy and I’m glad Alice can see the truth now,” or “I don’t like that my best friend was hurt, but I’m not petty enough to keep you off the list” or “I love Alice but she overreacts to everything and makes a lot of drama.” Or just some explanation for her total lack of fucks. The older Norwegian girls weren’t like, Iben’s best friends, correct? They weren’t even in the same grade? Maria has her BFF involved.

Clip 4 - Hippogriff

Fede, teach me your ways of absorbing information just as Sana showed us how to get rid of headaches.

Sana having an uncharacteristically soft moment and trying to deny it. She’s been really blunt with Silvia but their relationship has been all about helping Silvia with no apparent gain for Sana, except friendship.

Also she’s very reluctant to spread rumors, like this Sana goes from hard to soft pretty fast.

Federico and Laura leaving the men’s bathroom together sure adds a layer to Edoardo’s comment about Silvia hanging around the boy’s bathroom! That is just a thing these characters do, hook up in bathrooms. In S3 Martino can just wander into any men’s bathroom and find a girl to pretend to like.

Clip 5 - Eva and Laura and Alice

Nice use of music with the tense beat going as Eva drags off Laura, then it cuts off abruptly as Eva is about to get real and vulnerable.

This is easily the best acting Italian Eva has done so far. There have been a few “emotional” scenes where I thought she seemed too theatrical and not natural for the material but this was very good. I almost wanted them to stretch it out longer, as in the original, so we could get more of this performance.

And I’m pretty sure Laura was crying too by the end, which is very touching. I do think it’s one of S1’s best aspects how the Ingrid/Laura is not the villain, is actually the wronged party, but that she and Eva are able to come to a peaceful resolution.

It’s pretty sad that Eva made that little attempt at a wave back in the first clip. She really missed Laura.

Ha, I didn’t care for that Alice intro, though! Seeing her come up in the hallway definitely distracted from this intense, emotional acting between Eva and Laura. Especially because the moving music keeps going as she’s spying on them, and only cuts off when she throws her books down. I think it would’ve been more effective to keep the Eva-Laura shots going and keep us really engrossed in their dialogue, and then when Laura mentions Fede, suddenly cut to Alice standing like right there in the doorway and cut off the music, for a true jolt and change in the scene’s energy.

Alice’s actress looks so defeated as she realizes what a piece of shit her boyfriend is. And it’s nice that she apologizes and asks how Eva is doing. You know, before she inadvertently reveals Eva has been betrayed by a good friend.

“He looks like he cares about you” does that mean Martino looked pained when he told Alice about Eva and Fede? Boyyyy, why did you do such a stupid thing? (I know why, it’s still stupid.)

General Comments:

This has been a solid remake and overall they’re handling Eva’s emotional turmoil well. The point I’m wondering about is what Eva’s ultimate conclusion/personal statement is going to be since they’ve left out a lot of the questioning of her identity and insinuations that she is a follower not making her own choices. Season one’s strength lay a lot in that finale so I hope they have something cohesive for her character.

I am not Italian so if I misunderstood something or missed context, feel free to correct me.

If you got this far, thank you for reading!

[somuchanemoia]

Just some quick Delix drabble...

Soooo....it’s like 3 am here and I can’t sleep and I am in need of some Delix. I probably butchered these characters so much so to @delta-roseblr , I am so freaking sorry. pls don’t hate me for butchering these two perfect boys, i swear i tried.

For and based on the original characters of @delta-roseblr ‘s fic “Normal Lives”. I am literally just that big of a fangirl over these two OCs that I had to do something. 

Warning: contains swearing 

“Dean, I can--” 

“No.”

“Just let me help, god--”

“No. Felix, no. I’ve got this.” Felix practically growled as he stared at his boyfriend. Dean was obviously stressing about this and really it had been Felix’s fault that his car's engine had blown. FUCK! Why was he being such a stick in the mud about all of this? Felix had money. He had the resources to get Dean’s car fixed if his boyfriend would just let him fucking help!

“God damn it, Dean!” Dean jumped when Felix’s hands smacked the top of the kitchen table. They were at his place currently, sitting at the kitchen table and commiserating together over the current loss of Dean’s car over the last beer in the fridge. Felix could see the heaviness in Dean’s eyes; the stress was clouding the normal comforting blue, making them cloudy and heavy. 

It was kind of Felix’s fault the engine blew too. 

It had started on a Monday morning when Felix was running late. Dean had promised to drive him and with Will out of town in New York for another day, they had the car all to themselves. Dean had been honking the horn, yelling for Felix to hurry up and to “get his ass in the car before he left without him”. Once he finally had strolled out of the house and slid into the passenger seat, Dean was off like a bullet out of a smoking gun. 

He had never seen Dean drive so fast and the prospect of it was a little scary. Dean’s old Honda was on its last limb and looked like it was mostly being held together by duct tape and Dean’s faith in it. The air conditioning was mostly shot and tended to make a funny smell when turned on (Felix had learned that one by accident before Dean could stop him from messing with the controls), the trunk had issues, and, once, Felix had seen a small trail of smoke poof from the steering wheel. The car was a total lemon, but it had four wheels and could get them around this tiny nowhere town and that was something Felix was still missing in his new life with his Dad. 

But with the Honda being a lemon and both of them being late and, more importantly, Dean being behind the wheel and going fast, things went downhill rather quickly. 

If anything in the car worked well, it was the seatbelts, which Felix had been more than grateful for. At home, before his car had been stripped from him and he had been brought to the middle of fucking nowhere Tennesse, Felix had been a good driver; no tickets, no accidents, and he managed to keep his car in perfect condition. Dean, however, was scary when he wasn’t going fast. He never fully braked if he could help and he also had a tendency to take corners a little faster than he should’ve. 

It was that day that Felix had realized something else about his boyfriend: Dean Solace had a lead foot when he was on the brink of being tardy. 

That’s when it had happened. Dean was lead footing them down the street, going fast. Felix was gripping his seat belt for security, trying to not let Dean see how unnerved he felt in the middle of Dean’s death trap of a car. They had been going back and forth over the noise of the music when it had happened. It didn’t take a rocket scientist to notice the sudden white fog that was drifting into the air around them amongst Dean’s worn cloth seats. There was a loud pop from the Honda and then they started rapidly slowing down. 

Several minutes of panicked murmuring as they observed under the hood, a few nonhelpful quips on Felix’s part and a scream of mixed emotions from Dean later, the Honda had been pronounced temporarily dead on the side of the road. 

The lemon had finally met its match and since the point, their hands had hit the trunk and had begun to push it closer to the safety of a parking lot, Dean’s eyes had been clouded in a haze of stress, worry and, most disturbingly, sadness. 

Dean wasn’t supposed to look like that. He wasn’t. Dean was not only EXTREMELY hot, but he was also EXTREMELY handsome. You’d have to be blind, deaf and mute to not see how Dean Solace could make anyone with taste go crazy for him. Blonde hair that smelt amazing and a perfect spattering of freckles across his nose and cheeks (that Felix also knew happened to travel down to Dean’s back and shoulders), eyes bluer than the sky and deeper than the night. And beyond the stunning good looks, Dean also was a fucking good person. Felix wasn’t into poetry, but he was into Dean and that was the only poem he would probably ever be in love with. He couldn’t stand seeing such a perfect poem be so distraught when he had the means to be able to take the stress away from its stanzas. 

“Will you just shut the fuck up and listen to me for a minute?” Felix was tense. He had endured a week of watching Dean being beside himself on this matter and it was beginning, not only to be irritating but stressful for Felix as well. While Dean had managed to convince his Dad to occasionally lend him his own truck, Dean had mentioned that his father would be going out of town for an x amount of time and had no idea when he would be coming back. And while that normally meant that his boyfriend would be entirely free no matter what to spend time with Felix, it also meant that they would have no other way to school except for the bus and there was no way in hell Felix would be taking that route. He had spent enough time with his peers at this backwards school, there was no way he would be spending any longer with them once he was free from school. 

Dean blinked almost owlishly at him for a minute before focusing his blue eyes on Felix’s own brown ones, “Listen,” Felix began a little softer, though the irritation was still there, “You’re graduating in a few months. You got accepted to Columbia. Tuition is fucking expensive.” In truth, Felix reasoned, Dean probably would drive his old Honda around even if he had the funds to by a brand new Audi. Dean was just that kind of person, “You're in no shape to dole out almost a grand, right now.”

Felix could see the walls starting to build up around Dean. They had never talked about money before, at least like this; there hadn’t been a need too. Felix knew there were some financial problems between Dean and his Dad (what kind of high school senior would work as hard at multiple summer jobs like Dean did if there wasn’t?) but Felix had never had mustered up the boldness to ask. He had seen Dean shut down about his home life and he was slowly working Dean open to the idea to let Felix see his house, he hadn’t wanted to ask about money when he was finally starting to get Dean to let him glimpse into his home life in the slightest way. 

“I don’t need your help, Felix.” Dean’s eyes drifted from Felix’s and towards the table. 

“Unless you suddenly have the ability to pull money out of your ass, I think you should hear me out.”

Dean sighed and pulled the beer that had been sitting in front of Felix towards him and took a rather long sip from it, “The soccer season is over. If I just look into taking up a couple of side jobs, I can--”

Felix barely held back an eye roll, “What about your biology grade? You have to have that to graduate, dude.”

“I can handle it. Sure, money might be a little tight and if I’m held back a year we can graduate together if worse comes to worse...” Dean was muttering to himself as his fingers twirled the half empty bottle of beer. 

A dry chuckle sprouted from between Felix’s lips and soon it grew into a steady stream of laughter. He couldn’t help it as he looked at Dean’s handsome face covered in that look. It was similar to the look he got when he was trying to study for a Biology test and was definitely considering just bullshitting his way through the exam instead. It was exasperating and adorable all at once and Felix couldn’t decide if he wanted to punch Dean or kiss him. 

“You are one crazy bastard,” Felix finally said as he grabbed Dean’s hand that was laying on the table to give it a squeeze, “It’s a good thing I really like you because you are so fucking annoying.”

[oliverpdaniel]

Advent of Code 2020: A (very timely and not late at all) Reflection on Days 15-25

...Um. Oops?

Honestly, everything has been happening so much lately, I'm not super frustrated that it's been a clean month between finishing these puzzles and commenting on them. During these weeks, along with finally finishing my first-ever Advent of Code (as did my roommate! Well done, buddy.), I also wrapped up my second semester in quarantine, including a few brutal final projects and exams. After a nail-biting few weeks of awaiting grades, I finally had the confidence to withdraw for the second semester, and to begin hunting for work. (If you're reading this and I'm not hired yet, hire me!)

Anyway, the obvious downside to the sheer magnitude of the delay is that most of these puzzles aren't super fresh in my head, and thus my commentaries may not be as detailed as I would like. Hey - if I ever get such a massive executive-dysfunction-killing buzz as I did over the winter break to finally clean and redecorate my room, maybe I'll revisit these too.

Day 15: Now we're seeing some REAL slowness! The primary data structure for both parts here was the dictionary, mapping "seen" (spoken) numbers to the last turn on which they were spoken. That being said, I don't know what I was thinking in Part 1, with code like this:

Code ``` for k in seen.keys(): seen[k] += 1 ```

As soon as I saw the spicy thirty million in Part 2, I knew my naive solution wouldn't even touch it. [1] I had to do my least favourite thing - off-by-one debugging, but I ultimately came up with a relatively clever insight:

Spoilers Storing not just the last turn on which a number was spoken, but the last *two* numbers (if they exist). Doing this allows for a three-case scenario, for some current number `curr`: 1. `seen[curr]` is empty or doesn't exist. This is the base case of a new number; output 0, as stated in the problem. 2. `seen[curr]` has 1 value. It's only been seen once, so we can calculate the number of turns since it was last seen. 3. `seen[curr]` has 2 values. This number has been seen twice, so we can simply subtract the first- and second-most recent turn numbers to get the gap between them!

This problem took a bit of fiddling, but runs okay. Python really shows its ugly side here, as even a fairly efficient solution like this one, using efficient data structures, takes quite a while on Part 2.

Day 16: Boy oh boy. I spent far too long on this one, and perhaps if there are any to revisit for a future post, it's this one. My solution for this one features no less than:

regex;

closure functions;

constraint satisfaction;

functions that return tuples of variable length; and

walrus operators.

I consider this problem a 'sweat' for future years; I learned a lot about what makes constraint-satisfaction engines tick, and how it's important to assign constraints to the smallest possible element of a search space (here a column, rather than an entire permutation of columns). I think there's a much more concise and semantic way of outlining this problem, that lets the solver do much more of the work than I did.

Day 17: Not much to say here; it's a cellular automaton with extra for loops. I'll share two cute things that I'm proud of:

Spoilers 1. I experimented with various thresholds for the size of the 'infinite' space, making specifically sure not to to index checks, so that I could have the smallest possible subspace to check over. I ended up settling on a value of `20` units in each direction from: 2. the origin I specified, which is simply `LIMIT // 2 - H // 2` (where `H` is just the dimension of the input grid).

My roommate complained that it took him a long time to parse and understand the problem; I'll confess that I barely read it. I guess that's the advantage of experience, in that I saw "Conway" and "space" and knew immediately what needed to be done.

I didn't do anything special for Part 2; it's just my Part 1 code, copied and pasted, with an extra for loop here and a variable there. sum(sum(sum(sum())))s for everyone!

Day 18: I think that, out of all 49 unique problems in this year's Advent of Code, I'm most proud of my solution to this one. It's (relatively) fast; the code is pretty easy to read and works for both parts (and more! [2]); and I came up with a solution before knowing the name for what I had built. (Update: it's a shift-reduce parser. Hooray for stacks!) One especially cute thing, that incidentally ended up defining my approach to a lot of the later problems, was

Spoilers creating a lookup table between a certain input symbol, here math operators, and an internal function, here the builtin `int` math functors. This allowed for a dead-simple evaluator function, for when the top of the stack was ready to be converted from an expression to a workable number. Also, I had the bright idea to recursively evaluate bracketed expressions, in such a way that an expression like `(((1 + 2)))` would quickly reduce down to `1 + 2` before the rest of the parser got to it.

Day 19: Aaaaaaaaargh! Herein begin the Two Days of Terror - the two hardest problems. Lucky I had returned from my partner's by now, as I think they would have been quite upset with how much I was ignoring them to code. After solving Part 1 in the morning I finally finished Part 2 at around 7pm, having forgotten to otherwise eat or attack my household responsibilities, and only after my roommate sat down with me and pair-programmed for a while. This one stung the most, because... I'm a linguist, for crying out loud! No generative grammar problem, especially ones over a finite search space like this, should be causing me such grief.

Day 20: I am still emotionally recovering from this problem. My roommate somehow managed to get both parts to run instantly, using the most cursed CSP setup I've ever seen. I still need to study his code better to understand just how he did it. Also, his usage of scientific Python packages finally shows its rewards, as convolution over a matrix is a friggin' builtin function. Grr.

Day 21: I consider this day an apology for the previous Days of Terror. Some fun, but not terribly difficult, set-fu. My relative inexperience with set theory shows its stripes here; I'm sure there are much more semantically sound ways of accomplishing what I tried to do here (e.g., manually removing an allergen from each ingredient's list of hypotheses once it was confirmed to go with a certain ingredient).

Day 22: Spicy spicy numbers! It would have served me much better to read the instructions before starting, as then I would have known that

Spoilers in Part 2, players don't take their entire deck with them. Since, y'know, that would just cause an infinite race to the bottom.

Day 23: Even spicier numbers! If you're going to be cute like me and establish 9 as a constant, make sure that you don't use it in Part 2 when constructing the initial circle, or you'll wonder why 9,999,990 of the cups aren't attached to anything.

Day 24: I couldn't sleep, so I solved this problem at 3 in the morning. Not going to lie, a little disappointing for a penultimate problem, especially Part 2. Part 1 required at least a modicum of cleverness to develop a meaningful coordinate system, but then Part 2 just felt like a relative rehash of the Conway Cubes problem. 3 cellular automaton problems out of 25 is a little bit much, considering how formulaic they can be.

Day 25: As true evidence of how much I learned over this Advent of Code, I was able to finish Day 25 on the couch without even bothering my partner. Utilizing what I had learned about pow made defining the transform (i.e., repeated multiplication and mod) incredibly easy. Though, I did get a little bit lucky, due to a small oversight in problem setting...

Spoilers Rather than having to generate and test a whole bunch of different pairs of loop sizes for the card and the door, it turns out that if you `zip` together two streams of all such valid loop sizes for the card and door, respectively, the correct size for both (i.e, the solution) appears at the same time; for me, just the second such pair of sizes.

Day 25 Part 2, as always, was a delight and a pleasure. If you've never clicked that final button before, crack open a text editor and start solving challenges until you can. It's deeply satisfying.

I cannot sufficiently express my gratitude to the entire AoC team, setters, testers, and maintainers alike, for all that they do. A daily stream of bite-sized (or, sometimes, sea-monster-sized) challenges is just what I need to keep me going, and my skills sharp, over the dreary holiday season. Especially in a year like this, it was just what I needed to keep me moving, motivated, and thinking about code. I can't wait for next year's challenges and, hopefully, I'll convince the roomies to do it with me again.

Sorry about the little delay, and the relative lack of detail. But, the enemy of perfect is good enough. If you're reading these at some point in the distal future, I hope you've enjoyed watching my journey through these problems, and maybe learned a little bit about what it means to think like a programmer. Thanks for tuning in!

[1]: I tried it anyway; it obviously didn't work. And, once my roommate turned me onto tqdm, I was able to see just how long before the Heat Death of the Universe for it to run. It was about 3 days. Lol.

[2]: The way I constructed the code, it would be extremely easy to add in the remaining integer operations.

[letholojimin]

HOUR 3 (JJK)

STUCK SERIES - HOUR 3

Pairing: Jeon Jungkook x Reader Themes: high school au, badboy & fuckboy jungkook Genre: Fluff Word Count: 1,153 Summary: After being labelled the school’s biggest bad boy, Jeon Jungkook chooses to live up to the title. What he doesn’t know is that his arrogance will lead him to you.

HOUR 2 | HOUR 4 | MASTERLIST

“Wow, this place is amazing at night.” You breathe out, garnering the boy’s attention.

“Yeah,” he agrees. “It is.”

After walking around with only the faint light of the moon to guide your way within the familiar hallways of your school, you finally found the maintenance room. Both of you had messed around with a few switches until after one specific click, the familiar whirr of fans and buzz of electricity began to ring in your ears. The lights had turned on immediately, leaving you two to squint in surprise. 

“Shit!” He had exclaimed, the sudden brightness of your environment leaving you two to close your eyes for a few seconds. “That was painful.”

Soon enough, both of you guys have your eyes open and you simply nod in agreement. Basking in darkness does have its’ disadvantage for when you decide to turn on some lights. It wasn’t your fault your damn school had been irresponsible enough not to double check for any other living human beings in the buildings. 

Sure, now you had fans every other corner whatsoever but for some reason, it was just extremely hot in the area. You’re fanning yourself with your palm, as if it would do you any good, in desperation. Jungkook removes his sweater and leaves himself in a black shirt. 

“Is there no place in here with air-conditioning?” You blurt out, the warm temperature getting to your head. You did not find the maintenance room in the darkness just to continue suffering. He tilts his head to the side, trying to think of an area while you two continue walking aimlessly. 

He hums, and starts to change direction. “The library.” 

With his suggestion, you sigh in content. How did you miss that idea? You were literally there at least thrice a week. The place has the best air-conditioning system in your entire school but the problem would usually be the amount of freshmen crowding under the vents or the seniors shushing the younger classmen since they were studying profusely for their upcoming college entrance tests. The area was even more crowded during the exam season wherein everyone was actually trying to cram months of lessons into one week of ‘study sessions’.

Before you know it, you guys are entering the large, high-ceilinged area. There is moonlight glimmering in through the large panels on the right side of the library, the roof being transparent glass. You’ve never been there at night but with the dimmer lighting as compared to the day, you were sure you liked the place a lot better.

“Wow, this place is amazing at night.” You breathe out, garnering the boy’s attention. 

“Yeah,” he agrees. “It is. Especially without the noisy underclassmen. Those obnoxious little shits make this place a hangout spot.” 

With his undeniably true statement, you burst into a small fit of laughter. Jungkook doesn’t miss the way the light hits your face in an extremely flattering angle which scares him because he only thinks about that kind of stuff when the moon is the only source of light when a girl’s under him. He also doesn’t miss how you try to cover your mouth in an attempt to stay slient. 

“Why are you trying to be quiet? There’s literally nobody here to tell us shut up. “ He asks, lifting an eyebrow. As if to emphasize his point, he places the sides of his hands to surround his lips. 

“WE CAN DO WHATEVER WE WANT!” He screams into the open area and the action makes you laugh even louder and hit his arm. He begins to chuckle at your reaction and makes his way to sit down on one of the tables near the shelves. 

“Tell me, Y/N- what exactly has been worthy of being read by you?” He asks, leaning back on the table with his arms straightened and palms pressed flat on the surface. His gaze is focused on you and you usher to one of the shelves, quickly skimming through the titles. 

Your fingers end up touching a classic- The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald and reminisce the one time you picked the book up back in your first year in high school. At that time, you only heard the name in your English class along with a brief idea of the novel but it had interested you enough to read the book. 

You hand Jungkook the pocket book and upon looking at the title, his face lights up. “This is one of my favorite books!” He exclaims as he turns the brittle pages. “I take it that you like old stories? Classic, maybe?”

You nod, lifting an eyebrow. Jeon, widely known as a heartbreaker, reading these kinds of novels? There’s definitely a lot of things that this kid was hiding from the world. He gets up from where he’s been sitting and walks over to where you were previously and begins naming books, asking you if you’ve read them. From Pride and Prejudice to Wuthering Heights up to Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet, you say yes to everything he’s said. 

Only when he mentions “To Kill A Mockingbird” do you actually shake your head from side to side to indicate a no. He immediately pulls the book out from the shelf. “You should really read this book. It’s amazing.” 

“When did you find the time to read all of these things? Not to be rude but you don’t exactly seem like the type to spend a weekend reading The Little Prince whatsoever.” You find yourself asking the million-dollar question and he nods slowly, understanding.

“Other people don’t really know the saying don’t judge a book by it’s cover, don’t they?” He retaliates, tapping the cover of the novel he’s encouraging you to read. “But to answer your question, I read all of these during my summers starting eighth grade. After football practice, I’d always pass by a nearby bookstore. The place introduced me to reading and I guess I began to like literature.”

You nod, making sense of his explanation. That was true- lots of people forgot that there was always more to people than they let on which was sad at times but you couldn’t help but feel guilty that you never really tried to speak to Jungkook outside of now, when both of you were stuck with each other in the confines of the school.

“Don’t take my quotation to heart, even I used to think you were just a basic goody two-shoes. We’re even.” The mood becomes lighter after that and the two of you continue to spend an entire hour basking in the night light and the comfortable temperature the library provides you two with.

Jeon Jungkook is a lot of things, and so are you. What he is tonight, however, is a young man full of surprises. And instead of worrying about how the rest of the night will go, your thoughts have turned around. 

Now, you’re looking forward to the rest of the night.

HELLO IT HAS BEEN 14 DAYS SINCE I HAVE UPDATED STUCK AND I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS!!! IT IS MY EXAM WEEK STILL BUT PLEASE DO NOT HESITATE TO SEND ME QUESTIONS/REQUESTS/COMMENTS BECAUSE I APPRECIATE THAT <33

also wow this comeback is literally amazing i felt inspired to write this because of mic drop jungkook!!! also i will try to update more frequently cause ive been inactive as heck on this blog im sorry huhu 

[livinginlandmarketing]

Catherine Iveson, 17, a senior at Mater Dei, with her horse Waldo at the Huntington Central Park Equestrian Center in Huntington Beach on Tuesday, November 10, 2020 put her love of riding horses on hold to study for the ACTC. Cat, as her family and friends call her, finally had to travel to New Mexico and Nevada to take the ACT test after the pandemic canceled her plans to take the test locally. (Photo by Leonard Ortiz, Orange County Register/SCNG)

Mater Dei High senior Catherine Iveson approached her college entrance exams with a level of determination and responsibility that would make many parents proud.

The 17-year-old from Costa Mesa put one of her favorite extracurricular activities – competitive riding with her horse Waldo – on hold to focus on taking a weekend prep class for the ACT, one of the most common standardized tests for college admissions.

“It was as much about time as it was about finances,” she said of the decision. “It’s impractical to do both.”

But the trade-off turned out to be just the start of the sacrifices for Iveson and her family amid the first college application season of the pandemic era.

Iveson traveled outside of California not once, but twice, with her parents to take the ACT after the coronavirus pandemic and ensuing shutdown canceled testing opportunities in-state.

She drove with her parents to New Mexico and Nevada, joining other California high school students who journeyed hundreds of miles this fall to take the traditional admission exams – though most  private and public colleges have said they are not requiring them because of the pandemic.

“It’s like if you decide you want to run a marathon, and you spent eight months conditioning, and they said, ‘Oh, sorry there’s no marathon’ you be like, ‘No, I want to run the marathon,’”Iveson’s mother, Erin, said of the decision to still find a way to take the exam.

“She still wanted to do it. If you worked really hard to get that number for schools in hopes of acceptance, you really want a chance (to take the test).”

In a response to the pandemic and the physical closures of many high schools, the California State University system and its 23 campuses temporarily suspended SAT or ACT requirements for students applying to be freshmen in the fall of 2021.

The nine-campus University of California system made the same concession, but says students can still submit test scores, which might be used for course placement.

Private universities such as California Baptist in Riverside also temporarily suspended the admission test requirements for its incoming freshmen.

“Due to the circumstances and limited test availability, we didn’t want to have that barrier for students if they weren’t able to get a test,” said Taylor Neece, dean of admissions for Cal Baptist. “I am not aware of any universities in California requiring the SAT or ACT for the fall of 2021.”

But for a variety of the reasons, the quest for high school students to take the exams continues despite the stance of universities and obstacles for the efforts.

A recent morning in Peoria, Ariz. provided a snap shot of this landscape. On Saturday, Nov. 7, the most recent date for SAT testing, about 20 cars with California license plates were spotted in the parking lot at Centennial High, a host site for the exam.

On that same day, more than 200 testing sites in California reported cancellations, according to an online database for College Board, the nonprofit organization that administers the test. The database showed 72 testing sites available in California.

“So many people left the state to take the test,” Erin Iveson said. “So many went to Phoenix. So many went to Utah, Las Vegas.”

Iveson was first scheduled to take the ACT in-state on April 4, just a few weeks after the pandemic physically shuttered schools in mid-March. But the cancellations soon began to arrive, one after another.

“They canceled the April 4 test, they canceled the May test, they canceled the June and the July,” Erin Iveson said.

But Iveson didn’t want her prep class with AR Academics in Newport Beach to be for naught. As she searched online for open test sites, she decided to plug in the zip code of her cousins in New Mexico.

Bingo.

She found an open seat for Sept. 12 in Las Cruces, N.M., about 750 miles from her home in Costa Mesa.

“Every California zip code was either canceled or going to be canceled,” she said.

So Iveson and her mother made the two-day drive to New Mexico (this was well before California issued its travel advisory). Fortunately, they arrived early enough to handle another hurdle. Iveson needed a negative COVID-19 test within 72 hours of the exam.

The duo responded by driving about 50 miles to El Paso, Texas to take a rapid COVID-19 test before heading back to Las Cruces for the classroom exam.

“Just these crazy hurdles,” Iveson said. “They didn’t have tests in Las Cruces that would come back that day in a rapid test.”

For the ACT exam, she said all the students from California were placed in the same room, with social distancing and masks required.

Iveson, who maintains a 4.4 grade-point average, felt she performed well on the ACT, but didn’t quite hit her target score.

A few weeks later, she took the ACT again at a “pop-up site” in Las Vegas. The ACT offers the sites to accommodate students affected by the pandemic.

Iveson made the trek to Las Vegas with her father, Mark, and earned the score she had hoped for.

“After giving up so much to do prep and to really dedicate myself to it, I was not going to stop until I was really satisfied with my score,” she said. “I was happy with my score.”

Iveson’s interest in some highly ranked colleges also fueled her desire to take the ACT. She lists the University of North Carolina, University of Washington and Vanderbilt University among her favorites. She has already been accepted at the University of Arizona.

North Carolina, Washington and Vanderbilt are not requiring SAT or ACT scores, but Iveson didn’t want to leave it to chance.

“The college admission process is already so daunting and it’s so competitive,” she said. “Even though schools are saying that they won’t consider you differently if you don’t take the test, how are you really supposed to know? That’s not a very comforting thing.”

Palos Verdes High senior Maya Whitcomb said she submitted her SAT scores – taken as a sophomore – in her application to Middlebury College in Vermont despite entrance scores – including the SAT subject exam – being optional.

“My scores were pretty strong and I felt representative of what I’m capable of,” said Whitcomb, also a runner in track. “Just another data-point for them. It definitely couldn’t hurt.”

But there are alternatives besides admission exams for students seeking to raise their profile with universities.

At Cal Baptist, for example, Neece said grade-point average and essays are both excellent targets.

“You don’t want to be defined by just a GPA number,” he said. “You’re more than a number, so the essay is really your opportunity to showcase yourself, your talents, your strengths and your fit for the institution.”

The UC application, due Monday, Nov. 30, presents applicants with a series of short-answer questions.

The common application gives students an option to write about how the pandemic has affected them.

Joe Liu, executive director of Sylvan Learning of Irvine, has seen students prioritize the college essay.

He said at least two high school seniors from the center who recently earned $1,400 Wescom scholarships plan to put some of the money toward tutoring to improve their essays.

“They’re using that scholarship money to enhance their college essay and some are using it to help with their classwork (and) to prepare for AP exam,” Liu said. “They’re definitely utilizing that money wisely.”

The Ivesons made some cost-saving steps on their trips. They stayed with family, for example, in New Mexico, but still ended up spending several hundred dollars on hotels and food on their travels.

They also know that not all families can afford such trips, and Iveson said she is grateful for her parents’ support.

“We survived it,” Erin Iveson said. “It’s a lot of extra stress. It’s financial. It’s emotional.”

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-on November 27, 2020 at 01:35AM by Dan Albano

[cjoycoolio]

Dorm Door Decoration War

Happy Holidays , Tara ( @dickgrayson ). I hope you enjoy this mess of a short fic hehe. Have a great holiday season! 

This hilarious idea was given to me by my best friend, Brittany so thanks love. Also thanks for being a lovely beta :)

A03

“Tis the season to be jolly, Hunk. Now we need more holly!” Lance sing-songs before lining their dorm room door with those bright red garlands on the edge.

“Got it, Buddy,” Hunk states as he grabs some holly from the huge cardboard box filled with decorations they’ve managed to gather from around town.

“We’re so going to win this battle, Hunk. We got this in the bag,” Lance says with a bright smile as he takes the holy Hunk handed him and pinks it to the corner of the door.

“We so are,” Hunk says enthusiastically as he adds a red bow to the other corner of the door.

Down the hall two doors down there was two boys also decorating their dorm door, more brightly than any other door. “Look at their lame door. Ours is so much better. We’re so going to win,” Keith states smugly as he helps his roommate line their door with another layer of lights.

“Ours is certainly brighter that’s for sure,” Shiro states with a chuckle. He wasn’t much of someone who was really into the Holiday cheer, but he wasn’t going to deny he enjoyed a friendly competition here and there. And with Keith as his teammate he knew there was absolute no chance that they’ll lose. “And we’re definitely going to win.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This battle only started a week ago with a simple flyer posted on the dormitory’s bulletin board.  It stated, “Win a fancy dinner at Le Chez Lotor for two with a 50$ debit gift card. All you had to do to enter is to spread holiday cheer to everyone, and decorate your dorm door with as much as holiday spirit as you can. You’ll only have till second to the last day before winter vacation. Judges will come by and reward the winner before you leave. Have fun and good luck.”

“Hunk! Check this out. We should totally do this.” Lance says as he pointed out toward the flyer while walking to their next class.

“Oh my god, Le Chez Lotor, I’ve always wanted to try this restaurant but its so expensive. Let’s totally enter and win, Lance! I can’t miss this opportunity!”

“Sweet. We can get look around for decorations after class.”

“Sounds like a plan,” Hunk says as he wraps an arm around his best friend and roommate.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Down the hall, two boys were walking towards their rooms. “Why is Mr. Coran so enthusiastic about space? I swear I know more about alien species rather than what we’re supposed to be learning in his class,” Shiro states towards his roommate and best friend.

“Huh? Were you talking? Sorry I didn’t hear you,” Keith states as he pulls out his headphones, totally lost in his own world.

Shiro rolls his eyes. “Never mind, dude. Hey, check this out,” he states as he spots another flyer about the dorm door competition posted on the bulletin board near the room. “This sounds like something your boyfriend would do. Maybe we should join in?”

Keith looks over at the flyer and reads it before rolling his eyes. “Nah. Too much effort and Lance would totally be into it. Not me though,” he says before unlocking their door and heading inside.

“Well, it could be fun. We can give it a try. Plus a dinner for two at a fancy restaurant? Maybe he’s trying to win it for you,” Shiro teases.

“Pfft. Doubt it,” Keith scoffs. “Anyways, I got to do homework and study for our final exam.”

“Right. Well, okay then. I’ll see you later then. Meeting Allura for coffee in ten minutes. And Keith, don't study too hard." Shiro drops his bag on the floor and quickly retrieves his jacket from the back of the chair. He gives him roommate a small salute before heading out the door.

"See you, Keith," he calls before the door closes.

“Yeah, yeah. See you, Shiro.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After class that day, Lance and Hunk head back to their dorm to drop off their backpacks before they scour the town for decorations. “Hey Hunk. I’m going to check if Keith wants to come with. You go on ahead and we’ll meet you there,” Lance says as he heads toward his boyfriend’s dorm down the hall.

“Alright. I’ll text you my location. See you later, Lance.”Hunk throws his jacket and beanie on in a flourish before he's already out the door.

Lance knocks on his boyfriend’s door. However, before  Keith could even answer, Lance walks right in. He knows his boyfriend tends to keep his door unlock when he is studying. And also keeps it unlocked because Shiro tends to keep forgetting his keys and he’s too lazy to let him in himself each and every time. “Hey babe. Whatcha up to?” Lance asks as he sits himself on his boyfriend’s bed.

Keith had his headphones on and was sitting at his desk with a history book open when Lance came in. He looks over when he heard the squeak of his bed when Lance decides to sit on it. “Oh. Hey Lance. Not much. Just studying. What’s up?”

“Did you see the dorm door competition they posted up on the bulletin board?” Lance asks as he plays with a trinket he found on Keith’s bedside table.

“Yeah. What about it?”

“Hunk and I decided to join so we’re about to head out to get some decorations. Was wondering if you wanted to join us?” Lance asks with a smile.

“Figured you guys would join in the lame competition. It’s just a waste of time if you ask me. I much rather spend my time studying to get a good grade on my finals,” Keith states.

“Lame? At least we’re having fun before winter break. And we’ll win for sure.”

“Yeah, sure. Do what you want, Lance. I don’t really care. The holidays never really mattered to me anyways. So you can spread your cheer somewhere else.”

“Fine. I will! Bet you couldn’t even beat us even if you tried since you’re such a Grinch!” Lance huffs in annoyance before marching out of his boyfriend’s room.

It was then Keith grabbed his phone and texted his roommate. “We’re going to kick Lance and Hunk’s ass in this door dorm decoration. Let’s go shopping NOW!”

        ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A few hours later, Lance’s eyes widen in surprise upon finding decorations on his boyfriend’s door. “What the--? Hunk, did you know they were joining in the competition?”

Hunk was just as surprised as Lance was. He shook his head. “No I did not. I thought you said Keith wasn’t into the holidays? What changed?”

“No clue. Let’s find out.” Lance states before deciding to knock on the door. “Keith, Shiro! You in there?”

After one knock the door opens. “Yes? How can I help you?” Keith asks casually.

“Keith, what the hell? You said you weren’t in the holiday spirit and the competition was lame. Why are there decorations on your door?” Lance asks with a cross of his arms and a stern look.

“Well, I decided it's worth it to beat your asses and win. So sorry guys. We’re definitely going to win.”

“Not with those lame decorations!” Lance retorts.

“We’re only getting started. Just you wait. There is more in store. In fact, Shiro is out getting more stuff right now. So don’t worry because we’re totally going to beat you guys, and win the dinner and the 50$ gift card,” Keith smirks. “Have fun trying, but you’re so going to lose,” he adds smugly before shutting the door on them.

Lance eyes widen in shock. Lance grabs Hunk’s wrist and starts dragging him down the hall. “COME ON. THERE IS NO WAY WE’RE LETTING THEM BEAT US. WE GOTTA WIN. LETS GET MORE DECORATIONS.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Days passed, and both doors just get more and more ridiculous with random pieces of decorations. It was like none of them had a theme and just had a random assortment of such on their doors. From everyone else’s perspective their doors were utter chaos.

“You think either of them are going to win this competition?” Allura asks her roommate, Katie, while they were passing by the dorms to get to the common room.

Katie chuckles. “Nah. We got this in the bag. Come on. We got to hurry up--we still have to set up for the Toy Drive,” she says before grabbing Allura’s hand and dragging her towards the common room.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Finally the day arrived and the judges or the resident advisor of the dorms came to evaluate everyone’s doors. All of the participants stood beside each of their doors while the judges examine each and every door. Once that was done, the judges gathered together and discussed who they thought would be considered the winners of the competition.

At this time, while they wait for the results, all the boys kept making faces and “L” signs to taunt the other  team. They were acting just like kindergarteners who were poor sports. Katie and Allura couldn’t help but roll their eyes at this.

When the judges came back they had an envelope which everyone assumed was the prize.

“After further discussion, we’ve decided that the winner of the competition is Allura and Katie. Their door was properly themed, and they were the only ones out of every other group that actually spread the holiday cheer and volunteered for the toy drive. Congratulations to the winners,” they announced before handing the envelope to the girls.

The boys stare in stunned silence before a wave of disappointment overcomes them. Lance sighs before walking with his head down towards the exit.  Keith soon followed afterwards. He wasn’t as upset as Lance, but he knew Lance well enough that he needed the comfort.

“Hey, you okay, Lance?” Keith asks. “I know you really did want to win.”

“Well, yeah. I was actually going to ask use the giftcard to get you a gift.”

Keith eyes widen at this before he smiles. “I don’t need a gift. You’re already the greatest gift I could ever get.”

Lance blushes. “That was so che—”

Before Lance could even finish, he was suddenly kissed on the lips by his boyfriend. “What was that for?”

Keith just smirks and points up to which there was mistletoe hanging from the archway they were under.

“I’m sorry I called you a Grinch, Keith.”

“I’m sorry I got too competitive, Lance. You know I love you right?”

“Of course. I love you too.”

Lance then grabs his boyfriend’s face and kisses him passionately.