#because legend decided to play sidekick

[bokettochild]

What about Wars and Wind for day 6??

Sure thing, luv!

I hope you enjoy this one!

Wordcount: 8,780

Rating: Teen

Summary: Warriors has a mission from Impa and the princess, one that is "military business" and thus not the responsibility of the Chain of Links. Even so, every time the captain's gone off without a brother, as far as Wind can remember, something goes wrong, so can he really let warriors leave without backup?

-

  It’s hard to miss when Warriors is gearing up for a mission. 

  Thers’s this certain air about the man, a lack of the warmth and ease with which he treats the group. Instead of twinkling eyes and warm smiles, there’s a distance behind bright blue, a guarded way that he holds himself, a certain set to his jaw and stillness to his hands, like he’s steeling himself to walk out into hell yet again and face the flames. Wind had seen it a lot during the war, and while he doesn’t see it often anymore now that the Chain of Links has gathered, he still knows it in the blink of an eye. 

  So, when the group of them land in the captain’s era, once again, and their second night there sees the captain adopting that air, it’s a sure sign, to him at least, that there is some task needing completion. He’s not the only one who sees it either. When Warriors returns from his meeting with the princess, eyes hard and with not even a word of greeting for the rest of them before he moves for his things, most of them look up. 

  “Everything alright?” It's sort of strange that it’s Legend who asks that, sitting up from the couch and his book to stare at the captain, his own shoulders stiffening, ears pricking forwards, but then again, the vet is highly attuned to nearly everything, or so it seems. 

  The captain hums somewhat but doesn’t verbalize an answer. No, instead, a blue streak of light buzzes out from his scarf to do that for him, startling most of them but all too familiar to the sailor and their leader. “Link has a mission tonight and will not be able to stay with you all,” Proxi announces. 

  The rest of them move to get up but the captain turns from where he was gathering his things, one hand raised to the rest of them. “No need to get up. You’re all staying here.” 

  The vet’s brows raise. 

  “This isn’t monster related,” Warriors tells them, belting his sword over one shoulder rather than at his hip as he wears it about the castle. “Just military work.”   

  That seems to be enough for the rest of them, and even though Legend does give the man a brief once over, he follows the lead of the rest in settling back in their places. None of them really go back to what they were doing though, instead watching the captain curiously. Well, except for Wind. 

 “I’m coming with,” he announces, standing up and moving to stand at the captain’s side, his normal place since meeting the man. During the war, he and Mask had been the captain’s shadows, on his tail and watching his back no matter where it took them, even if that meant following him into the most terrible of battles. There were times, of course, where they had orders to attend to issues on other parts of the field, inside the fort or tending something in camp, but the idea of Warriors going out into anything without having one of his two charges aiding him somehow is unthinkable. 

  Not so for the captain it would seem, a heavy hand settling on the sailor’s shoulder as distant eyes fix on him. “No, not this time, kiddo.” 

  “What?” 

  The soldier’s stare is heavy, hand heavier as it claps his shoulder once before lifting, the heavy scarf the other wears being pulled free and set aside in favor of a cloak and hood that the man pulls on, fabric hanging low over his face. “This isn’t a mission you can help with.” 

 “But-” 

  “No, sailor.” Warriors’ voice is hard, but not harsh. “I need you to stay here, can you do that?” 

  The expression on his face must betray frustration, maybe his confusion too; Warriors hardly ever tells him to stay behind, not ever so directly and never without some other order or responsibility: take care of Mask, protect Marin, watch the prisoners, keep lookout. Being left with nothing is new, and he doesn't like it. Warriors must see that, because he drops to kneeling, which honestly feels a little degrading because Wind isn’t that short anymore, but when heavy hands find his shoulders, his focus is fixed on blue eyes, flickering briefly to the faint scars that still crisscross over them.  

  “This isn’t something you can help with, and I wouldn’t feel right dragging you into this.” 

  “What is it?” he demands, not liking the tone or the situation. 

  Warriors just smiles, not a real smile, but a guarded little thing that says he knows what the sailor is up to, and that he won’t be tricked into sharing anything more than he intends to about what his job will be entailing this time. “I need you to stay here and stay out of trouble, can you do that for me?” 

  Staying out of trouble isn’t doing anything though. 

  “Link,” he doesn’t realize his face has dropped until one callused finger is hooking under his chin and lifting it to meet the captain’s stare. The man’s bangs are a mess, and already they’re starting to slip over his eyes. “Promise me you’ll wait here?” Saying no to that earnest look is nearly impossible, not when Warriors has dropped the soldier stance, has dropped the grace and strength and is just staring, hopeful and worried and so, so tired, up at him.  

“Okay.” 

  “Promise?” The stare shifts, guarded, wary, knowing how often he’d be tricked by some wordplay from their little fairy-boy. 

  “Promise,” he agrees, hating the word even as it slips out of him. Still, it earns that thankful little smile as the captain pulls himself up to stand again, reaching briefly to the side for a shield, not his usual one, but a darker colored one like the royal guard uses.  

  “I’ll be back,” he can see the captain’s walls raising, guard slipping up again and sharp eyes going cold as responsibility settles over broad shoulders like a heavy cloak, “probably.” The little smile does nothing for his worry. 

  “I’ll be here,” he sighs, watching and useless as the other moves for the door. 

  A raised hand is the farewell for the rest of them, and well wishes sound from the rest of their brothers, all worried and tense, but equally unable to do anything as the captain bids them a goodnight and then leaves. He hates it. He hates watching the older man leave, heading out to face things he has no clue about. Meanwhile, they will sit here in the castle, in the rooms the princess had appointed for them, comfortable and warm, safely resting in soft beds and enjoying warm meals while the captain is out there, alone. It makes his stomach turn. 

  Despite all that though, the others return to their own matters, speaking softly with each other in worry or letting their books and hobbies distract them. Wind can’t though. Instead, he finds himself watching the door until Time’s hand on his shoulder, warm and heavy but not the same steady, firm grip as the captain uses, draws his eyes up to the man looking down at him. “You alright?” 

  He shrugs it off, heading away to the room he’s sharing with Four and Hyrule. “’m fine.” 

  He doesn’t doubt that they don’t believe him, not anymore than he actually believes those faked smiles and confidence from the captain. 

- 

  He tries to sleep that night, he really does. 

  It was past dinner when the captain had set off, and they’d all already shed their gear and weapons for the day as they’d prepared to wind down, hence why Warriors leaving at such an hour came as that much of a surprise. Warriors works by day, in the open, in the light, guiding his men and leading the way for Hyrule as a whole; their beacon of hope and strength. Matters of the night, of the shadows, fall under Impa’s purview, the Sheikah being the ones to creep about and tend to matters out of the sight of the kingdom, quiet and un-noticed, unheard, unseen. 

  He doesn’t understand why Warriors would have to set out at such a late hour, but it bugs him. Even after Sky has come to check and make sure that they’re all settled for bed, even after Hyrule and Four have both long since dozed off, he’s left lying awake, staring out the window into the dark sky. It’s overcast, although not raining, nor will it rain anytime soon, he thinks. Still, there's no sight of the stars, and the moon drifts in and out from behind the heavy clouds, making shadows flicker and fall, only to spring to life again over the bedspread, the floor, the walls. 

  He knows Warriors is capable. He knows the captain had faced his adventure with all the strength a hero must, and that, unlike himself, the older man was chosen by the Triforce of Courage, hand-picked by the goddesses to wield the Blade of Evil’s Bane. Still, even with that, he feels uneasy, knowing the captain is out there somewhere right now, without any of them to back him up and doing Nayru only knows what. 

  He rolls over. Staring at the dark room makes it worse. 

  When the war was over, Warriors had let both he and ask sleep with him, as none of them felt easy about sleeping alone after everything, and it was no secret that Link didn’t sleep easy if he didn’t have someone to watch his back. The dark circles under his eyes most of the time told anyone who saw that the man hardly slept as was, but having his two charges close, safe, where he only needed to wake up to see them, seemed to help. Mask’s uncannily good hearing made up for their loss of hearing from cannons lasting off beside them, and at the smallest hint of danger, the youngest would be up and hissing at them to wake up too, like a little guard dog. 

  He’d suggested Link get a dog, when it came time for them to leave, but he doesn’t know if anything ever came of that. He hadn’t asked. 

  Regardless, trying to sleep in the big bed, Four beside him and Hyrule curled up at the bottom (where neither of them are likely to touch him), isn’t the same as curling up, safe, in the captain’s strong arms, or even with Mask in his own. It feels wrong, being in the castle without Link, and staring at the fading and returning shadows, the silent room, the grand furniture and thick rug, it sets him ill at ease. 

  Link could be in danger right now, and he’s lying safely in bed, unable to do anything about it. 

  He promised, but his mind flickers back to all the times he hadn’t been at the man’s side. The time a camp doctor had tried to put an end to the war by killing his own patient, leaving Warriors blind for the next week until Lana had been able to heal him. The time the fort on the far side of Hyrule Field had fallen, and the next he’d seen either the captain or Mask, it was with Link clutching ahold of the dust covered youngest hero, shaking and too relieved to speak after the walls had nearly crushed the kid. There was the time he’d charged off ahead, confident he could take on Cia, and the next time either of them had seen him, Link had been listless, wary, and flinched at the slightest of touches. 

   Everyone refused to explain to him what happened, and even now the older man won’t speak of it, not to him at least. He knows it was bad though, because the man he so admired, looked up to, and even saw as a father had never been the same since. 

  There were other times; battles, missions, scouting expeditions. He’s long since learned every scar that traces the other’s skin, so used to helping patch him up, but half of them happened when he wasn't there, couldn’t help. He'd hated it, standing back and watching the captain sew himself back together, no longer willing to risk visiting a doctor or proper medic, and not knowing what had happened, not being told because Link didn't want to burden him. He’d promised himself if he could stop it, he would, but he’d never had the chance. 

  Now though, lying in the dark, the thought hits him that he can. He can go out there, and the captain wouldn't ever have to know. He could creep out and track them down, watch from a distance and, if needed, take out an enemy or two. He could watch their backs, cover their steps, make sure whatever mission has taken the man away from him doesn't return him in yet more shattered pieces. 

  Warriors would never have to know. 

  Mind set, he slips out of bed, shifting a pillow to fill the abandoned place he leaves behind, just in case Four reaches out in his sleep, like he does, seeking another person to cuddle with. He tucks the blankets too, so no draft will sneak beneath, and then he’s padding softly to the chair he’d set his things. He doesn't have a heavy cloak, not like the captain or the others, but the scarf left hanging by the door works as well as one to hide him, and while the color stands out more than the cloak it was traded for, it’s a lot better than the pale blue of his own tunic. 

 Wrapped tight and moving quietly, it doesn't take too much work to sneak past the guards patrolling the halls. He’d only lived in the castle for a short while, but while Link had been tending to papers and reports and meetings, he and Mask had spent their days mapping the little passages and corridors that spiderwebbed through the stone, and he’s able to make it outside without so much as a glance from the staff. Finding the captain is another issue, but he’d paused in the man’s office, picking the lock briefly and turning his attention to the papers left on the man’s desk.  

  Reports of activity amongst a rebel cell that’s established itself in the city had been on the top of the pile. He can’t read all of it, but he understands enough to know that, likely as not, the captain has gone out to meet with planted spies to gather information, as well as potentially intercept a messenger, whom, based off the file, Impa seems rather eager to get ahold of. He doesn’t read much more than that, just scans the papers for any hint of a location, a time, anything at all, before sneaking out and heading down the streets.  

It being a city, Castle Town doesn’t sleep at night. Most honest folk have gone off to bed, but pub regulars are out at their chosen haunts or cast out into the streets, and travelers headed in or out of town, returning patrols of soldiers, and the occasional merchant headed home still populate the streets. Kids sneaking out from their homes, working girls, petty thieves and the occasional sheikah lurk in the shadows, but his size marks him neither threat nor target to them, and he’s left alone as he heads towards the rougher side of town. 

  Pidgeon Row, officially known as the south gate district but nicknamed what it is for the jailbirds that live there, is quiet at this time of night. If anyone is out, they keep their heads down and shuffle between houses and establishments. The exceptions are the occasional drunk, but again, he goes unseen, flitting about on top of roof-tops as he does. 

  Link told him and Mask once, back before things took a turn for the worse, how he and his friends would sneak around this part of town when they were kids. Gassun would whisper about the antics and Bav would shudder while describing the residents back in their day, but Link would be all mischief and grins as he’d share about roof hopping and “spying missions”. The stories were more about what they got up too, but he’d picked up bits and pieces from the three of them about how to navigate the town, how to watch your step and calculate a leap between roofs. They used to argue about technique mid-way through the stories, and he thinks he’d learned more about how to creep about unseen from those tales then he actually did about the captain’s childhood. 

  It’s only those stories that allow him to recognize the captain though, the man’s lanky frame jumping across an alley just to his left, slipping down with all the ease of a cat into the street. If not for the dark cloak he remembers seeing Link don before leaving, or the briefest flash of messy blonde, he wouldn’t know the man, but as he closes in, he sees the faintest flash of blue eyes, and though the manner, stance and general air of the other is nothing like the noble captain he knows, the voice that speaks into the darkness is definitely his. 

 “Oy, pidge, ‘s me.” The heavy accent he only ever hears hints of it fully on display, masking the voice the rest of the world would know, blending the captain in with his surroundings as much as the old clothes and guarded, defensive stance does. 

  Another man slips out of the shadows, far more bulky and less agile looking, but if planted by the sheikah, Wind doesn’t doubt their skill or speed. “Chess,” he greets. 

  “Wheesht!” The captain hisses, glancing around fervently like he’s afraid of something, but to anyone who knows him, it’s clearly an act, one to make him blend in with the other street rats and jailbirds that will be out and about. The captain doesn’t need to look to know if an enemy is there, and he most certainly would not be so obvious about it if he did. “D’ya want all Hyrule hearin’ ya noo? Wut I say ‘boot names?” 

  The other man twitches, put out, or pretending to be, but drops his voice low enough that Wind’s ears can't catch what’s said between them any longer. That doesn’t matter though, because the captain seems pretty intent on it, and definitely notes down anything of importance. From his rooftop, Wind can see them easily, although he doesn’t dare move closer lest they realize he’s there, but their conversation isn’t the only one of its kind happening in this part of town right now. In fact, he can clearly see another a few alleys over, two men trading something between themselves, looking over their shoulders all the while and speaking in hushed tones. As far as the residents are concerned, the captain is just another low life meeting to buy or sell goods, and not likely to draw attention from anyone who wants to keep their head down. Honestly, Wind would be impressed with the act if he didn’t know the captain grew up around here and thus isn’t acting so much as slipping back into old behaviors and habits in order to blend in. 

That said, he’s not sure why the man was so insistent on his staying behind. So far, nothing dangerous seems to have happened, and while there was definitely time between the captain leaving the castle and then arriving here, he seems no worse for wear, or any more strained than he’s pretending to be. Why leave behind his little shadow when Wind is clearly doing a fine job of watching his back and also going unseen? Even by the captain himself? 

Needless to say, he’s a bit miffed, but he keeps his head down all the same.  

Link pays his contact and slips away, not on the roofs this time (thank goodness, because he’s definitely quicker than Wind) but down the streets, side eyeing anyone who moves too close to him as he hurries along. You’d think, not being a known face, they’d stop him, but Wind supposes new faces are normal now, in this district, what with the city still such a mess as they recover after the war. Regardless, the captain is allowed to pass, and Wind slips after him, watching from the roof-tops but hanging back far enough to not set off the man’s warning bells. 

When Link slips into a pub, he lingers for only a moment. 

On one hand, Warriors isn’t known for taking it easy with the alcohol, but on the other, this is a mission, he’s probably not even going to actually drink, and if he does, it will be for cover and cover only, and not anything as strong as he usually would go for. Still, letting the man go into a bar doesn’t sit right with him. 

Following after is his downfall. 

He doesn’t go for the doors, he knows better than that. No one in Castletown lets teens drink, and the only kids allowed in bars are usually the ones whose parents are such regulars that they need help getting home at night. The thought makes him wonder if the barkeep here will recognize the captain as the kid who used to come at closing for his old man, but he dismisses that thought, he has a mission to fulfill after all. Anyways, Warriors lived a bit further out in Tater Town, and if his dad had come to this bar, it wouldn’t have been frequent enough for people here to recognize him or his son. 

Door not being an option, the window is the second-best choice. He slips for the one upstairs, less likely to be seen, but of course, of course, the room is occupied. Worse still, it’s very occupied, and the people in it take one look at him, one look at the scarf he’s all bundled up under, and sharp smiles and even sharper knives appear in an instant. 

Well, shit. 

He immediately moves to drop back out the window again, but one of the men is faster, catching hold of the scarf wrapped around him and somehow, getting the thing enough over his mouth that he can’t even call out for help, can’t make a sound to alert anyone downstairs that something is wrong up here. If anything, the faint groans and shuffling will be disregarded, considering what sort of a bar this is, and not even Link will think to check up here. 

“Isn’t this the hero’s scarf?” One man murmurs to another. Even from downstairs, Legend would have caught that, but Legend’s not here and neither are the others. No one can act as the captain’s ears right now, and Wind’s left only able to flail against large hands that catch hold of him and keep him still while the rest stare at him. 

“Seems like,” another of the men hums, “wrong size though.” 

“’t’s one of his brats,” another figure murmurs, giving Wind a once over. "Why he’s here though...” 

“They don’t never leave his side,” a wary glance from one to another of the men in the room, and the breath in his lungs drains all too quickly at their words. Shit, they’ve put it together, haven’t they? Is Link a good enough as an actor to fool these men? He’s shit when put on the spot, even if he can play into parts of himself that already exist, as proved with the street-rat “act”, but will he be able to blend in enough that out of all the potential blondes downstairs, they won’t realize it’s him? 

One of the other men frowns though. “That’s as may be, but at that age I wasn’t ‘xactly tied to me da’s belt.” Raised brows and curious stares turn on the man who had spoken, and he quickly explains. “He’s what, fourteen? It’s a pub, mates. Seedy side of town where his da won’t look?” 

There’s a snort from the first speaker. “Sneakin’ out, was you?” Dark eyes fix on him, grinning some as he’s given yet another once over. “Yeah, me too at that age.” 

And while it’s well and good that they believe he’s just having his rebellious streak (and a small part of him whispers that they’re not wrong), the fact that they’re holding this tight to him, gagging him on the scarf, means that they don’t have the best of intentions either. No one’s first instinct when seeing a kid is to try and stop them getting away, not unless they have ill intent or something seriously wrong with their minds. The fact that the scarf, and the captain, matter so much to them doesn’t mean anything good either. 

His thoughts flicker back to that report on Link’s desk. Gods, he hopes these men aren’t part of that rebel cell, or he’s screwed. 

- 

It’s official: he’s screwed. 

The men had gagged and bound him, stripping away the scarf quickly in order to do so, and then left him in a corner for a good while. Murmured conversation of “not lettin’ the kid hear” had led to most of them leaving the room, but one or two had stayed, carefully not close enough for him to touch and both with their eyes on him while they traded boring stories and terrible jokes in an effort to smother any noise he did manage to make. That, or maybe to stop him hearing the talking in the next room, but it’s not until the bar downstairs goes quiet that the rest come back in. 

And then it starts.  

Questions, demanding on where Link is, what he’s doing out here, was he alone? The fact that they ungagged him long enough to ask says there's not a chance that anyone not within their group is around anymore, and he doubts the captain lingered any longer than he had to complete his mission. 

Link will be long gone, so he’s at least able to be truthful when he says he has no clue where the man is, even when pressed.  

“He said he’d be working late,” he tells them, trying to wriggle out of the knots at his wrists but finding very quickly that they’re a lot tighter than he’d like. Still, he plays into the alibi they’d practically handed him. “I thought I could just sneak out for a bit.” 

“Really?”  

And while they’d come up with it themselves, they still press and push. The questions about the hero’s whereabouts quickly turn into questions on what Link’s been doing, where he’s been, who he’s met with and all sorts of other things. They don’t take his petulant “I don’t know” as an answer either. It seems he’s not the only one fixed on the idea that Link can’t go about without at least one of the others with him, and the more he denies, denies, denies, the harsher they press, the more they threaten, and at last, a knife driving into his leg sends the point home. 

“You’ll tell, or we’ll be sending your dear dad a real awful message.” 

He’s a bit too busy choking back tears at the pain blossoming in his thigh to even try to answer that. 

Luckily, that’s the only instance involving a knife, and while the pain doesn’t exactly stop, one of the men declaress that “he’s just a kid, stabbing isn’t okay” although they say nothing to the occasionall slap or kick, which honestly, what sort of crap standard is that? Not that it matters, because the throbbing pain and the ever harsher slaps are making focusing rather difficult, and eventually his jaw in genuinely swollen enough that they seem to give up on trying to talk to him at all. Instead, they leave him, laying on the filthy floor and move off downstairs. 

He doesnt care how old he is, how much of an adult he wants people to see him as, Wind can’t help but cry when they’re gone. It hurts! Its so bad and he can’t even do anything except press one leg over the other and hope it kills the circulation and stems off the blood flow. 

Time seems to take forever to tick by, made all the worse by the lack of sunlight even as day definitely breaks. The windows remain unblocked, but the overcast weather from the night before has carried over and there’s not even the faintest hint of sun beams to track the time by as he lies and sobs and gathers himself only to break again later. 

It was late when he trailed the captain to the bar, maybe the wee hours of the morning, but his best bet is that it’s noon before he hears anything again. This time though, it’s shouting, harsh and loud and angry. There’s scuffling and what sounds like a clashing of blades, the thudding of feet darting up the stairs and then the door of the blasted room being flung open. It slams against the wall, rattling nearly hard enough that he thinks it might fall off its hinges then and there, but it doesn’t matter because standing in the door frame is a panting and bloodstained Legend, the captain’s heavy cloak hanging loosely off his shoulders. 

“Wind,” dark eyes fix on him as the twin blades in the vet’s hands are slipped away to Hylia knows where. 

There’s a scream from downstairs, and it makes him wince as booted feet dart to his side, the vet kneeling to inspect him, but Legend doesn’t so much as blink. No, the vet’s eyes are focused on him, and ewen when another set of booted feet pound up the stairs , headed their way, Legend just flicks a wrist to send one of his knives flying towards his persuer. 

The moment the gag is out of his mouth, he’s gasping, sobbing still, just a bit, but mostly just numb as Legend shifts him and starts binding up the stab wound in his leg. “Vet?” he wheezes, not so much deselieving as confused. 

“Better believe it, kid,” the man’s voice is clipped, distracted, motions just this side of frantic as they stop his bleeding and then cut his bonds. He’s missing most of his gear, only in his under-tunic and boots and Wind knows for a fact that the cloak on his shoulders is the captain’s and not the vet’s own. He hates that that means Legend hadn’t even bothered to dress himself before heading here, that more likely than not the other had been pulled out of bed to come directly here, or at least start looking for him. 

How had the others taken waking up and finding him missing? Especially after all of them had witnessed him promising the captain he’d stay behind? Sweet Sages, the sailor winces, they probably think he was kidnapped right out of his bed or some other such thing. Unless they know. Unless they suspect that he would break his promise, as he’d done, and go after the captain anyways, regardless of his word. He's not sure which is worse, them believing him helpless enough to be kidnapped, or them coming to the correct conclusion that he can’t even keep a simple promise. Whatever they think though, none of its clear on the vet’s face as he works, soft, detached words falling from his mouth in what the sailor thinks might be three or four different languages, but all of which sound vaguely assuring. The stream of comforting words doesn’t stop either as the vet finishes his work, violet eyes heavy with lack of sleep turning to at last fix on his face rather than his wound. 

“Any other injuries?” 

He shakes his head. There’s another scream from down below, steel clashing loudly. 

Legend nods, firm, quick, distracted, Long ears keep flicking between him and the stairs, and the vet’s mind clearly isn’t just on him. “We’re gonna get you out, okay? Wars has them busy downstairs.” 

Which means all the noise, the raised voices, the clashing steel, the shouts and cries and sounds of battle are because the captain is busy fighting off the men who’ve been keeping him here, and potentially any others. He doesn’t miss that the vet hadn't mentioned the others either. “We need to help him!” His aw is swollen enough that the words slur, but he thinks the point gets through. 

“We need to get you out of here.” Legend corrects, pulling him upright but supporting him so there’s no pressure put on his injured leg. “He can handle them.”  

“He needs backup-” 

“He needs you to listen to orders, kid.”  

That shuts him up for the moment. Legend looks like a wreck, tense, nervous, and very, very stressed. He knows better than to push that, but even so there’s still a part of him that detests the idea of letting Warriors face off against enemies alone. The vet doesn’t appear to care though, instead pulling him up over his back and moving for the stairs, teeth sawing faintly as he darts down them as quickly as is safe, each step granting Wind better and better a view of the fighting down below.  

It’s a mess. Warriors is caught in the midst of it, sword locked with that of one of the sailor’s captors while several others try and get hits in. There’s blood everywhere, on their clothes, their skin, their faces, and it’s clear as day that skill or no, the captain is outnumbered. 

“Got him!” Legend calls out, stopping briefly at the foot of the steps, panting slightly. 

Blue eyes dart towards them, all fire and fury and harsh, brilliant light, and the captain nods, dropping his lock with the other blade to fall back to the vet’s side, shield lifting to catch a blow here and there from enemies who strike out at either side. 

Faint sparks of magic dance over the room, Legend’s teeth gritting and sawing even louder as Wind feels the hands holding him to the other's back warm with the surge of magic, keeping the enemy at bay if only for a moment as Warriors cuts a path for them through the room. If Legend’s hands were free, Wind has no doubt that blood would be spilling much faster, but they aren’t, and try as he might, the vet won’t let him slip down. 

“We should help him!” he insists, as the outside world greets them, still grey, still overcast, and still not raining. “We should go back!” 

“I will,” the vet hisses, feet flying through the streets and carrying them ever further away for the pub and the sounds of battle, away from Warriors, “just as soon as you’re safe.” 

”He can’t hold that long!” 

“You’re my priority.” And try as he might to object, to fight, to squirm free or demand Legend turn back, shouts turning quickly to desperate sobs, the vet doesn’t so much as falter, just cling tightly to him, holding him in place as he moves through the streets, feet thumping and teeth sawing. 

People dart out of their way, some shouting in anger, others in fear, some others still in horror. There’s no shortage of blood on the vet, nor himself, and despite Legend’s prowess in battle, his skills with wound-care aren’t the best, and Wind is still very much leaking blood all the way from the pub to the castle gates, where Legend hastily hands him off to the men on duty, voice still that sharp, dangerous whip-crack as it hisses orders to the two men standing there. “Take him inside and alert General Impa that Captain Link requires aid.” 

One of the men makes to protest, but the other, one who’s familiar for some reason, nods, gathering Wind’s protesting form up in his arms without sapring him so much as a glance, eyes fixed instead on the vet’s flashing violet ones. “You got it, ma’am.” 

He doesn't even have it in him to laugh at Legend being mistaken for a woman, again- he’s too busy trying not to cry at the thought of the captain still left alone in that pub against men twice as big as he is. Legends doesn’t appear to even notice either, instead whipping back around, stumbling only for a moment and then darting off down the street again, the captain’s cape whipping in the wind kicked up by pegasus boots as the vet shoots out of sight, no doubt headed back to the captain’s side. 

- 

Holly, the infirmary attendant on hand, bustles him into a bed the moment he’s handed off.  

He manages to get ahold of hismelf between the gates and the infirmary, but it doesn’t stop the way worry twists and churns in his stomach enough that it’s a struggle to down the red potion she gives him after cleaning his injuries and checking him over. She tuts and fusses over him like anything al the while, just the same as she has a dozen times before. 

She’s one of the few medics Warriors will consent to being treated by. She’s an old neighbor of his from his childhood and someone with nothing to gain from his death or injury. By extension, she’s their usual caretaker too, his and Mask’s, when they’d ended up needing medical care while at the castle. Unlike others, Warriors can talk with her with ease, and even relaxes somewhat, enough that his accent will slip through to match her own, their voices low as they would discuss treatment, severity of injuries and childcare in general. She’s a nice enough lady, but her determination to assure him, sit with him and keep him calm do nothing but get on his nerves. 

Her attention stops though when heavy feet and rasping breathes sound outside the door, an hour or so later, and the sight of the vet, this time with Warriors’ arm slung over his shoulder, both of them bloody, both of them panting and neither of them processing his presence, steals her attention away. He only gets a glance in the time it takes the woman to haul ass and get the both off into the private room on one side of the infirmary, intended to be kept for nobles or the princess, but usually used quite frequently by one idiot captain, but one glance is almost too much. 

There’s so much blood. 

No one answers his questions as attendants surge into the infirmary and dart behind the shut door. Muffled sounds of pain escape from the other side, and its torture in its own right to be confined to a bed, watching the world buzz around him while white clad medics dart in and out, gathering terrifying looking tools and so, so many bottles and herbs and bandages. Gods, there’s so many bandages! He can hear the captain’s voice raised, panicked, he can hear Legend’s own, so much softer than it was the last he’d heard it; soft but clearly shaken as it soothes and assures, hitching here and again. He can’t catch the words, but that’s almost worse. 

It feels like it’s hours before the ward is quiet again, the medics trickling out, bloody and tired looking. 

Neither Legend nor the captain leave the room. Holly does, but she only spares him a sad look before moving for the door, returning a bit later with water which she offers to him first before slipping back into the captain’s room again. 

The clock on the wall ticks down the minutes, hours, and when at last something happens again, it’s the rest of the Chain making their way through the doors. Their eyes fall on him first, and the relief that floods over their faces as Time gathers him in his arms, as Twilight catches his face in both hands and looks him up and down like Granny would, it’s overwhelming.  

“Thank Hylia you’re okay!” The rancher gasps, pulling him in for a hug. 

“You gave us a real scare,” Four adds, standing far closer than he usually would, eyes trailing over him repeatedly, as though the smithy still isn’t sure he’s actually in one piece.  

Sky’s next to pull him into a brief hug, although, unlike the others, his face is still lined with worry as he pulls back, strained around the mouth and distracted as he adds his own say to that of the rest. “Never disappear like that again, understood?” 

“Understood.” It feels wrong, falling out of his mouth, but there’s nothing else to be said as his eyes trail to the door he’s tried multiple times by now and still can’t get past. 

There’s questions after that, and Hylia above he hates questions so much! He’s not even listening anymore, instead watching as Holly comes into the room again, shaking her head softly as she tuts under her breath, carrying yet another pitcher of water. “Holly!” His voice cuts off that of his brothers and has the medic’s eyes lifting to him, that sad little smile returning once more at the sight of him. It tastes disgustingly like pity. “How is he?” 

She hasn't answered any of the other times save with a soft “can’t be sure” but this time she looks over the heroes gathered before her and just finally sighs, gaze falling and head shaking like it’s been doing all afternoon. “T’ain’t pretty, luv.” 

“Let me see him?” It’s strained, nearly tearful despite his best efforts, but the image of all that blood, on the vet and the captain both, on the medics in and out of the room, and all over the tools Holly and the rest had been cleaning all afternoon- it makes his heart hurt and his stomach churn with unease. 

Unlike the last time, when he’d caught word of Warriors getting stabbed while at the castle, where he’d run here from the inn and been let in without so much as an attempt to stop him, this time the medic pauses, glancing between the closed off room and the sailor boy whose spent all day lurking outside of it. His injuries are basically gone by now, the potion having taken effect no matter how much he’d struggled to keep it down, but leaving just won't sit right with him. Not until he sees Link. 

The woman at last sighs, yet again. “I’ll see if yer mum’s alright wi’ it.” 

No one has even a chance to ask what she means by that, although based off of previous experience they all already know. He’s not sure if the vet’s been being referred to as ‘Kit Taylor’ all day now or not, has no way of knowing, but it really wouldn’t surprise it if they’re rolling with that again. Regardless, he’s sure the vet is who Holly means, and who she must speak too as she slips into the room again. 

The whole group of them wait with bated breath. 

When the door swings open yet again, the answer given is slow and hesitant. “Ten minutes.” 

 He’s up off the bed before she’s even done saying it, the rest of their group at his heels, but Sky by far the fastest, by some trick of magic or another (because there's no way he’s that quick under his own power). 

- 

Entering the little room, they’re greeted with the sight of the captain’s still form laid out across the bed. He’s on his side rather than his back, although there’s blood staining the back of the shirt he’s wearing, and while it doesn't appear to be fresh, it’s clearly the cause of his odd positioning. There's a lot of blood all the same though, and even more splatters over the vet, seated at the bedside in a chair that definitely wasn't there the last time Wind visited this room. They can’t see the captain’s face, but Legend looks like a wreck. Hair a mused mess, eyes bruised from lack of sleep and worry both as he sits, stretched out so that one arm rests between his chin and the mattress, the other hand holding one of the captain’s own tightly. Between the two of them, Wind’s not sure who looks worse, and he’s not even seen the captain’s face yet.  

It takes longer than he’d like for violet eyes to drag up to them too, and if the weight of the world looks like it’s resting on the vet’s shoulders, well, they all get a taste of it as his eyes fall just as heavy on the group of them. 

“Is that the others?” Warriors voice is strained, but it’s his and its alert at least, even if the man hasn't moved at all since they’d entered. 

Legend blinks, breathes a moment like even that is a chore, and then glances down to the captain. “Yeah. Guess they’re tired of waiting on us.” 

“Told you to go rest.” The captain huffs, but Wind can’t miss the way the man’s hand squeezes the vet’s own smaller one (or the fact that both sets of fingers are still stained with blood). 

A scoff makes rosy hair fly just a bit in front of dark eyes. “Yeah, no.” It’s said like they’ve had this conversation a thousand times already. Given how long they've been in here, Wind wouldn't be shocked if it has. Still, Legend’s voice is a good deal less rough than it was this morning, and while it still bleeds stress and strain, there’s an undercurrent of warmth in it that softens the sound against their ears. 

In a sharp contrast, the captain’s voice is all tightly strung and strained when it next sounds. “Is Wind here?” 

The vet’s eyes lift to them again; falling on him, holding his gaze as every emotion drops out of dark depths with a single heavy breath. “Yeah...” 

The captain groans, shifting and lifting one hand. “Help me up.” 

“Holly said to keep still,” the vet sits himself up, pushing Warriors back down in the same motion. The emotions flicker back over his face, worry and stress and pain, but the hand lifted, expectant, doesn’t drop. 

“Either you help me, or I do it by myself.” 

A soft ‘tsk’ sounds, but the hand is taken, clasped tightly as the captain lets Legend take the strain of pulling him somewhat upright, the vet’s other arm wrapping around broad shoulders while, somehow, the smaller man manages to maneuver a pillow or two around to support the other. Wind’s not sure how it’s done though, because his eyes are rather fixed on the captain’s face. Well, what he can see of it. 

It’s like being back in the army camp, sitting in the medical tent for the last time in his life and realizing just how much Hyrule resented the man who’d taken him in. The bandages that wrap around the captain’s eyes are positioned differently then that time, covering more, but there’s no doubt in his mind why they’re there, and what’s hiding beneath. 

He wants to be sick. 

“Tune.”  

Reflexively he tries to meet the stare that ought to be being leveled at him, but there’s only white cloth to meet in its place. His own voice feels small as it answers the steel of the captain’s own. “Yes?” 

“You lied to me.” It’s worse than the stab wound, than the punches he’d taken earlier in the day. The captain’s harsh tone is worse than anything enemies have ever dealt him, and he flinches back under it. “You promised to stay behind, and then you intentionally snuck out.” 

The gazes of the others are on him now, all shocked and surprised, except Legend. No, Legend just looks tired, maybe enough to just keel over then and there, even as he hovers at the captain’s bedside like he’s worried the other is the one that might falter. With how stately Warriors manages to look even while bandaged up and an utter mess, Wind has no clue where that worry is coming from. 

“I’m disappointed.” 

Wind’s pretty sure his heart stops for a minute. 

“I trusted you to obey orders, and you intentionally defied them, risking not only your safety, but mine and that of the rest of our party.” He’s not sure if he should be glad that he can’t see the captain’s eyes or not. The stare he’d be fixed under, if the man still had his vision, is no doubt the same one that’s made men piss themselves in terror. He never thought it would be turned on him, but the anger that bleeds through the captain’s voice betrays the intent, even if his face can do nothing to express it. “What do you have to say for yourself?” 

He feels small. So very small. “I’m sorry.” 

Warriors twitches, shoulders sinking as though new weight has been added to them. “Me too.” His tone hasn’t softened the slightest bit. “I’m sorry I believed you would actually follow orders.” 

Tears prick at his eyes at the words. He’s already cried far too much today, but in comparison, everything that happened earlier feels so trivial and childish beside this. “I’m sorry.” 

“Do you mean to tell that to everyone whose neck you risked by jumping in when I told you not to?” 

“What else do you want me to say?” It’s half sob, half scream, but somehow it’s still so quiet in the echo of the captain’s own harsh tones. 

Silence meets his words, but not a considering one. No, Warriors’ lips are pursed and his shoulders tense, so much so that even when Legend lays a hand on one, a wary look on the vet’s face and no doubt some sort of warning on the man’s lips, the captain doesn’t so much as twitch. “I don’t know. It seems my expectations were miscalculated.” 

“I’m sorry!” It feels like the only thing that he can say anymore. “I didn’t mean for this to happen!” 

“And yet it did.” 

“I was trying to look out for you!” 

The next words are a harsh bark worse than anything Time could dream of. “Well look how that turned out!” 

“Warriors.” Legend’s voice is strained, a warning as dark eyes lift to fix on the trembling sailor. 

The captain hisses a breath, what’s visible of his face contorting in what Wind takes a moment to realize is pain. There’s a breath, the vet’s hands hovering and the captain’s shoulders trembling for a moment before one blood-stained hand lifts as though to rub the bandaged face, only to think twice when it meets soft cloth rather then flesh. “Get out,” it’s strained, but less harsh, just tired. “Just... get out, go back to your room.” 

“You’re sending me to my room? I’m not a child!” 

“Well, you certainly haven't been acting like an adult!” The captain snarls back, only to pause and turn away, hand twitching towards his face a second time and again pausing at contact with the bandages. “Look, I am too angry and in too much pain to be having this conversation,” heavy breaths color the words, shallow little things that shake through the form of the man he’s spent so log looking up to. “We’ll discuss this when I can control myself.” 

He wants to protest, to apologize again, to say anything, but Time’s heavy, too big hand settles on his shoulder, holding him back. “We’ll leave you to rest then.” 

“Is there anything you need?” Sky’s voice is warm, soft, sad, but kind all the same as the man glances from Warriors’ shuddering form to Legend’s drooping one. 

The vet shakes his head, eyes slipping closed in the motion with a little sigh. Wind wonders, looking at him, if Legend has rested at all since hauling his ass out of that pub, or if the man’s been tending the captain at Holly’s side all the while, regardless of the fact that he looks ready to collapse. 

 Sky must see it too, because he frowns some, worry bleeding into his voice. “Get some sleep, you two. We’re just a call away.” 

“Thanks, Sky.” The smile the vet shoots them is as fake as the captain’s had been last night. 

Wind can only stare, helpless as their leader guides him out of the room. He trips over his own feet, but catches the way the vet catches the captain’s hand in one of his own, murmuring something he can’t hear but which has Warriors’ shoulders falling, sinking, a shudder running through the man that looks horrifyingly like a sob. 

He screwed up. 

[cheynovak]

American Sin

Soldier boy x Angel aka Y/N Female supe

Summary: set somewhere in the 70s. Before gunpowder soldier boy had another sidekick who he couldn't get along with... until one horrible incident.

Warnings: 18+, MDNI!,SB being SB, talk of virginity, sexual intercourse, Oral sex, Cheating,...

Please do not copy my work. Sharing/likes and comments are appreciated.

Chapter 7: Here we go again

Y/N lay still, staring at the ceiling while the weight of reality settled over her. The warmth of Ben's body next to hers should have been comforting, but instead, it only made the sinking feeling in her chest worse.

Outside, the sounds of Herogasm were dying down—laughter, moans, and music fading as the night came to an end. The party was over, and soon, everyone would be leaving. Maybe it was time for her to do the same.

She turned her head slightly, watching Ben as he slept. His breathing was deep, steady, his face relaxed in a way she rarely saw when he was awake. He looked... peaceful. Different from the arrogant, larger-than-life supe the world knew. But even now, even after everything, she knew better than to fool herself.

Ben would never choose her.

Not really.

This wasn’t some fairy tale where the powerful hero falls for the girl who’s been by his side. He didn’t do commitment. He didn’t do love. And whatever this was between them, it wasn’t going to change that.

She could stay. She could curl up against him and pretend that for just one night, she belonged there. But come morning, she’d still be just another moment in his life. Another indulgence.

Her chest ached, but she knew what she had to do.

Carefully, she slipped out from under the sheets, moving slowly so she wouldn’t wake him. She found her coat, pulling it on over the red lace that now felt like a cruel joke. With one last glance at him, she forced herself to turn away.

By the time Ben stirred, blinking awake, the only sign she had ever been there was the lingering warmth on his sheets and the faint scent of her perfume in the air.

--

Y/N walked all the way home, but once she arrived at the lobby she had hoped not to run into someone and just head straight to bed.

Unfortunately someone was waiting for her.

Crimson looked her up and down, a slow disgusting smirk spreading across her lips. “Well, well, look who decided to show up,” she purred, crossing her arms. “Late night, sweetheart?”

Y/N stiffened, gripping her coat a little tighter around herself. The Legend stood beside Crimson, adjusting his tinted glasses, his knowing gaze flicking between the two women.

“Now, now, let’s not pretend we don’t know where she’s been,” sge chuckled, while The legnd lights a cigar. “Room 333, huh? That’s a hell of a place for a girl like you.”

Y/N felt her stomach twist. Of course, Crimson knew. She had set her up, after all. And now, she was enjoying every second of watching Y/N squirm.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Y/N muttered, stepping into the elevator the second the doors slid open.

Crimson followed, her grin widening. “Oh, come on. No need to play coy.” She leaned in, her voice dripping with mock sweetness. “You thought you’d sneak in, have your little fun, and no one would notice? Cute. But let’s get one thing straight—Ben doesn’t do girlfriends.”

Y/N kept her expression blank, refusing to react, but Crimson wasn’t done.

“You’re just another one of his distractions. And trust me, I know exactly how this ends.”

The elevator was suffocating, the air thick with tension as the doors slid shut. Y/N felt Legend’s gaze lingering on her, almost like he was waiting to see if she’d break. But she wouldn’t.

Not here.

Not in front of Crimson.

Instead, she took a deep breath, lifted her chin, and met Crimson’s eyes head-on. “Thanks for the advice,” she said, voice steady. “But I don’t need it.”

The elevator dinged, and before Crimson could respond, Y/N stepped out, walking away without looking back.

But the words lingered.

Because deep down, she already knew Crimson was right.

Y/N’s face burned as she fumbled with her keycard. The Legend leaned casually against the doorframe, puffing his cigar, watching her like he had all the time in the world.

"You look like a girl who just walked through fire," he mused, exhaling a slow stream of smoke. "And lemme guess—you're wondering if you got burned or if you’d run straight back into the flames."

She swallowed hard, gripping the door handle. "I don’t know what you’re talking about."

The Legend chuckled, stepping a little closer. "Sure you do, sweetheart. I’ve seen that look before. You let Soldier Boy get his hooks in you, and now you’re trying to figure out what the hell that means."

Y/N’s lips parted, but she had no idea what to say. Because he wasn’t wrong.

The Legend studied her a moment longer, then sighed. "Look, kid. You’re new to this game, so I’ll give you some free advice. Ben’s got a... way about him. He makes you feel like the center of the damn universe—until the second he doesn’t."

Her stomach twisted.

The Legend tapped the ash off his cigar. "Question is... are you just another plaything to him, or is this gonna be something more?"

Y/N hesitated, then finally asked the question that had been gnawing at her since she left that hotel room. "Do you think he actually cares?"

The Legend let out a low chuckle, shaking his head. "Oh, sweetheart," he said, his voice almost pitying. "That’s the real danger, isn’t it? Because I think he does. And that? That’s what’s gonna fuck you up the most."

With that, he turned on his heel and strolled away, leaving Y/N standing in front of her door, her heart pounding, her mind racing.

By night, Ben stormed into the meeting, his presence shifting the energy in the room. His usual air of smug confidence was absent—his shoulders tense, jaw locked, and piercing green eyes locked onto Y/N. The anger simmering beneath the surface was impossible to miss.

Crimson, as always, was glued to his side, running her manicured nails over his arm, leaning into him, whispering in his ear as if they were the only ones in the room. But he didn’t react, didn’t acknowledge her, not even a glance. His focus was entirely on Y/N. His stare was sharp, heated, a silent accusation that made her pulse quicken.

The discussion at the table droned on, touching on Vought’s latest PR plans and upcoming events. One particular topic stood out—Crimson’s scheduled morning interview on women’s empowerment. A smug smile played on her lips as she spoke about how she planned to "uplift and inspire." Y/N wanted to scoff at the hypocrisy, but she kept her expression blank, pretending to take notes.

She could feel Ben’s gaze pressing into her, heavy and unwavering. Every time she shifted in her seat, every time she so much as glanced in his direction, his eyes were still there—watching, waiting. He was pissed.

The second the meeting ended, Y/N barely had time to gather her things before Ben’s hand wrapped around her arm. His grip was firm but not painful, just enough to make sure she couldn’t slip away. Before she could protest, he yanked her into the room next door and shut the door behind them with a heavy thud.

His chest rose and fell with barely contained frustration, green eyes burning into her. "Why the fuck did you leave?" His voice was low, rough, almost accusing.

Y/N straightened, forcing herself to appear unfazed. "I thought that’s how this works," she said, crossing her arms. "We had an agreement. No attachments, no strings. When it’s over, one of us leaves." She shrugged. "I just saved you the trouble."

Ben’s lips twitched, something unreadable flashing across his face. His nostrils flared as he processed her words, his hands flexing at his sides like he was struggling to find the right response. "Oh, okay," he finally said, voice dripping with sarcasm. "Well, I’m sorry. I thought—"

"Thought what?" she cut in, stepping closer. "Go ahead, finish that sentence."

Ben opened his mouth, then shut it again, jaw clenching. His usual cocky demeanor wavered, like he wasn’t sure how to put whatever he was feeling into words. But that frustration, that tension in his body—it wasn’t just anger.

Weeks passed, but the tension between Ben and Y/N never truly faded. It simmered beneath the surface, crackling like an unspoken argument waiting to explode.

Y/N kept replaying The Legend’s words in her head. *I know the look on a girl’s face when she’s had the pleasure of sharing a night with him.* But what stuck with her more was the way Ben had looked at her after that night—the anger, the frustration, the hesitation. Like he wanted to say something but couldn't bring himself to.

Instead of admitting anything, Ben doubled down. He made a show of being perfectly content with Crimson, letting her drape herself over him, whisper in his ear, and leave lipstick stains on his neck. If Y/N entered a room, he’d go out of his way to ignore her, to laugh louder at Crimson’s jokes, to make sure she knew he didn’t need her.

But Y/N wasn’t stupid.

She saw the way his eyes still found her when he thought no one was looking. The way his fingers twitched when she was close. The way his jaw clenched when she smiled at another man.

Ben was stubborn, but so was she.

And if he wanted to play this game, fine.

She could play too.

When the Legend asked her to be his date to an event, she accepted it, thinking it was time to finally live a little. Who better to part with than the Legend.

The flashing lights of the red carpet were blinding, but Y/N kept her posture straight, arm linked with The Legend’s. He was enjoying the attention, waving to cameras and making jokes, but she could feel the weight of someone’s stare.

Ben.

He stood just a few feet away with Crimson, looking every bit the power couple they pretended to be. But Y/N could tell—he wasn’t listening to a word Crimson was saying. His eyes kept darting over, jaw tight, expression unreadable.

Crimson, ever the jealous type, noticed too. Her hand tightened around his arm, and she whispered something in his ear, something clearly meant to provoke him.

Ben’s patience finally snapped.

"Jesus fucking Christ, will you stop being so damn controlling?" His voice was sharp, loud enough that cameras and reporters turned their heads.

Crimson’s mouth fell open in shock, but before she could say anything, Ben grabbed her wrist and yanked her inside, away from the cameras and flashing bulbs.

Y/N watched them disappear, the heat of his outburst settling over her like a storm cloud. The Legend chuckled beside her, shaking his head.

"Kid, that boy's in deeper than he wants to admit."

"I doubt it." She said throught her smiling teeth.

Ben kept his eyes on her throughout the night, watching every laugh, every subtle glance she shared with the men surrounding her. It was jealousy, something gnawed at him, something that felt like it had taken root deep inside.

He didn’t know if it was the fact that she was so carefree, so damn confident, or if it was the realization that she was enjoying herself without him. He couldn’t get it out of his head.

He took another long drink from his glass, the liquid burning down his throat, but it didn’t dull the ache in his chest. He'd tried to ignore her, tried to pretend that their night together hadn't meant anything, but the truth was—he couldn’t shake her.

He hated it. He hated how her laugh sounded so effortless, how she had this way of commanding attention, of making people want to be around her. And yet, she didn’t need anyone. Not even him.

Y/N caught his gaze from across the room, her eyes locking with his for just a second. He was sure his expression was unreadable, but her lips twitched as if she could see through him. Ben set his glass down, the temptation to walk over to her almost overwhelming.

But he held himself back. He had to.

Instead, he watched as she excused herself from the group, making her way across the room toward the bar. She was alone now, her eyes scanning the crowd, and Ben couldn't help but follow her, his mind racing.

Ben strode over, "a moment" he ordered and took her hand not caring if anyone saw him pushing inside another room.

"The fuck are you doing here with him?" Ben barked. "He was so kind to ask me out, you jealous pig!' She bit back. "You never would have."

"I have a girl I need to have on my arm at any public event."

"Ah, see, then why do you care who I'm with anyway!"

"He just want's to fuck you Angel!" He yelled. But all she did was close her arms over her chest and looking him straight in the eyes.

"Really?" He said "Are you fucking him, now?" Chest heaving. "Come on y/n, The Legend? Over me!?"

"Like you said Ben, you have a girl! So stop pretending you care for me, if you did you'd fight for me."

Ben's anger exploded, he pushed her against the wall. His fingers digging him her shoulders. "You didn't gave me a chance, you left before morning!"

"A chance to what Ben? What would you have done?" Tears rushed over her cheeks, "Be honest! What would you have done?"

He didn't answer.

"I'll tell you! You'd leave before I woke up. Let me think I stood a chance and then left me, so I'm sorry I won't let you break my heart! I'm sorry I don't settle to be your secret! And I'm sorry you have to experience the lonely morning you have given dozen's of women this year!"

Ben pushed her body closer to the wall and pinned her there with his hips. "Don't" she whispered. But he was faster, his lips pressed against hers, hard and angry before he turned and left her standing there.

Not knowing what it meant.

---

Later that night in his bedroom, Crimson continued talking about her upcoming interview, clearly excited about the attention she was going to get. She went on and on, not noticing that Ben had completely zoned out.

His eyes were half-closed, his mind wandering. The buzzing of her voice faded into the background as his thoughts drifted to Y/N.

She had been distant, unsure, and maybe even hurt by his actions. But Ben wasn’t the kind of guy to admit he had regrets. He couldn't afford to. The last thing he wanted was to be vulnerable, especially not in front of Crimson.

Yet, he found himself thinking about the red lace lingerie, the way Y/N had looked at him, and how easy it had been to pretend like he didn’t care.

The familiar tension was still there, simmering beneath the surface. Every time he saw her, he felt an urge to break down the walls between them. He wasn't used to feeling this way, and it pissed him off. Why did she have to be so complicated? Why couldn't he just forget about her and move on?

But instead of focusing on that, he let Crimson’s voice wash over him. Her endless chatter filled the empty space, and Ben let himself fade into the background. It was easier that way.

Meanwhile, Y/N sat alone in her room, replaying the events in her mind. She had thought that leaving would help her clear her head, but it only made things worse.

She couldn’t stop thinking about the look in Ben's eyes, the way he seemed to need her, and then immediately pull away as if it was nothing.

The heartache felt like a dull ache in her chest, and she didn't know how much longer she could pretend that everything was fine. Would it ever be the right time for them?

Or was she just another girl in a long line of people who would come and go in Ben’s life?

--

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[kitkatt0430]

Hi there! I hope you're having a decent week! So, I have some questions idk if you'd thought of this topic before.

So, I've been rewatching The Flash s3 + s4 (even tho, I have mixed feelings [sorta negative] for those seasons), and it's very apparent. . . Wally's speed and Cisco's powers make Barry. . . obsolete, lol. And in the s4e2, they knocked Wally out during the meta confrontation. It seems clear it was like that bc having two speedsters awake would solve the sitch too easy, haha.

But yeah. . . what ways you'd make Barry still 'relevent' even tho, there are members in Team Flash with powers that outmatch his?

Sorry if this is a lot, I'm just curious. Especially since the show has nerfed Wally and Cisco's powers often as if to ensure Barry wouldn't be useless. 😂🤔

My week's been fairly good. Admittedly, my insomnia has come back, but... the wasp invasion my home has been suffering has shown signs that the wave of wasps coming down from the attic is coming to an end earlier than expected. So, comparatively, I'm doing pretty good this week. Thanks. ^_^

Oh, yeah, having two speedsters around was very much not well handled by the show runners. Especially having two speedsters + Vibe. Knocking Wally out in s04e02 was definitely a way avoid having to figure out what to do with that. And then Wally got sent over to the Legends in the ultimate avoidance move. Though I'm not clear on the sequence of events that lead to Keiynan deciding to leave the franchise, I know that the decisions made about Wally going into S4 played into that choice.

So S4 should have shown more of Wally as the lead speedster of the team. Either it should have taken longer to get Barry out of the speed force, spent longer on the idea that Barry was unwell and unable to be the Flash, or both. That first half of the season entirely should have been Wally as the Flash because S3 should have ended with Barry passing the torch, telling Wally 'you're the Flash now' before heading into the speed force prison. And Wally should have been struggling with his confidence, feeling like he's in Barry's shadow and worried he's letting everyone - especially Barry - down.

It would have been a great chance for Iris and Wally to really center and cement their sibling relationship. As well as having Wally officially graduate from Kid Flash the sidekick to Flash the hero. And I think it should have been Cisco more obviously as the team lead with Iris taking more time at the comms because Cisco has also started hero-ing more often, even though he too worries he's not a good fit.

When Barry does get back, there's no sudden snapping back and he's 100% okay again either. He's faster than Wally after marinating in the Speed Force, but he's mentally unwell and needs time to heal from that and regain his confidence in his ability to do his jobs - CSI and Flash - as he does. Honestly, the season's theme would have been about struggling to find one's place and sense of confidence amongst all these big upheavals. Which Ralph's arc would have fit into pretty well too, given that he struggles to find himself as a hero and become a better person than the detective he used to be when Barry and Joe knew him last.

I'd move the DeVoes to Keystone. So as the season progresses, Wally is spending more and more time there. Even transferring his college courses over there to give him an excuse to be at the campus where they work. The investigation into the Devoe family then becomes a shared venture between Iris and Wally, but also offers a look into the true scale of the accelerator's fallout from the start of S1 - Keystone's metas may have taken a bit longer to start showing powers, but there's a growing meta threat across the river from Central City that can be laid at Eobard's feet. And because of this there's a slowly growing problem of Team Flash being pulled in two directions - a threat showing up in Central at the same time there's a problem that needs the Flash in Keystone too. And that way Barry still gets to be the big damn hero when he's finally ready to assume the mantle of the Flash again, but it doesn't take away from Wally being able to stand on his own and continue to be the Flash in his own right too.

I'd say Barry's still never 100% recover from what happened to him, but with the show's track record with disability... having a disabled hero instead of yet another disabled villain would have gone a long way towards making up for that casual ableism that permeated the early seasons and never truly went away. So Barry has good days and bad days and part of his arc once he does retake his place as the Flash is learning how to recognize, and accept, his limits. When he needs someone else to take the lead and it's hard for him to do because accepting how disability has changed him is a process. Yes, he can still be the Flash, but no it isn't going to be the same as it used to be because he isn't the same.

The final result of this version of S4 would be that Wally becomes the Flash of Keystone. He likes it there and it's as the Flash of Keystone that he's truly come out of Barry's shadow as a speedster and hero. This would allow for an S5 that has both speedsters, sometimes working together and sometimes with one of them in the background doing their own thing while the main thrust of the episode focuses on the other. It'd allow for telling bigger stories too for the overarching plot - maybe having seeded the idea in S4 that there are suddenly more speedsters in the background thanks to the speed force storm at the end of S3, and that makes identifying and training the speedsters a focus in S5. S5 being another non-speedster villain season but seeding in the background that August Hart feels resentful of being a slower, less powerful speedster and his origins in becoming Godspeed in S6. It would have also been a great time to explore other speedster characters - like Meena Dhawan, without turning her into Eobard's love interest in the process - and show how much Barry really loves teaching his fellow speedsters, maybe even more than he likes being a hero himself.

Putting Barry in charge of teaching a new batch of speedsters in S5 also would have given Cisco a good chance to step up and shine as the lead hero more - bailing the baby speedsters out of trouble with Cicada and handling threats entirely on his own, no longer having the distraction of his off-world relationship with Cynthia that kept him out of the way sometimes in S4. It would have also given Barry a chance to really bond with Harry more, as Harry struggles to accept his new limitations from the loss of his genius and his worry over having a place on the team... things Barry understands well having gone through something pretty similar in S4. He got through in part because he had Harry's support and he wants to return that support in kind. If Harry will let him.

My fic Untethered is actually intended to be the start of a series exploring this sort of AU, actually - not this exact series of events because I also wanted Eddie alive in there - but a version of S4 where Barry comes back and isn't magically better. Where Wally has to continue being the Flash, even once Barry is well enough to start being the Flash again down the line.

[crazy56u]

Just woke up 15 minutes ago, let's do this.

Once again, no saga sell. Meanwhile, in a pre-SAG-AFTRA Strike Hollywood...

Why do I get the feeling this guy was originally meant to be played by Kevin Costner?

"So, no filters." So, I take it this is at least in the 90s?

A movie where a scientist clones shit, I think I saw that on MST3K.

And right off of the bad, we're waxing poet about scripts. That's how you know this aired after the Writer's Strike ended.

Hey, look who finally decided to show back up to work!

I still say Tom's getting retconned through Ben preventing the time skip at the end of the season.

"This is the stuff dreams are made of." If that is meant to hint at my earlier theory being correct…

I swear to God, I thought Ian was wearing a red hat.

I feel like this was the cheapest episode to make, given how this was filmed without sets.

April 4th, 2000. Two fours, and a leap year, so of course Not Kevin Bacon died.

Hey, Ben, look on the bright side, this is pre-Jimmy Fallon-era Tonight Show. ...but, that does mean Jay Leno...

"Old address", teah, sure, keep telling yourself that…

Ben, I'm willing to bet you just lost him.

"Damn, I really suck at this Hollywood thing. … Addison, can we do commercials early?" "Yeah, why not…"

"Who loses Neil Russell?" People who don't love him?

And Ben commits a federal crime, and opens another man's mail.

A backyard wedding? In 2000?

And Ben almost gets run over by Roman soldiers.

"I think I may have blindsided people this morning, I don't think they expected me to come back to the show."

"What do you think about your first leap?" "…technically, wasn't that the bank robbery one?"

You know, while we're wasting time with this Tom and Addison shit, we could've seen more of Ben hitching a ride with the Romans.

"Hey, Rachel, no biggie, but I saw a thing on a computer, and I'm slightly freaking the fuck out."

Ben's got a golden ticket, this is the closest we will get to him leaping into Willy Wonka.

Look, who among us hasn't found themselves lying on the floor?

Ben, the biggest sitcom on TV was Full House, shut up.

…why is Neil's life slowly turning into Season 1 of Bojack Horseman?

"We get him to Leno, everyone wins. Literally the only time someone ever said that ironically."

"Look, please, I know I crashed your wedding, but I wanna get married again, this is 100% not a nervous breakdown."

"He's a sidekick, he's not a leading man! He doesn't vaguely remind the audience of Bojack Horseman!"

Uh oh, the badass brought out the whipping stick!

"Oh, wait, you're an agent, I'm not mad anymore."

"I don't wanna think, I don't wanna talk, I just wanna go on a boat-" "Okay, let's calm down!"

I wonder how Jay Leno must feel knowing this entire episode is built around him…

"I was quitting way too soon, we're only 15 minutes in!"

"We're winning Laura back!" And Ben and Addison low-key have a stroke.

Meanwhile, in... Blade Runner, I guess.

"Ian? Why are we in the blue dimension, and why do I suspect it involves Project-bullshit?"

What if it turns out this chip was what Jenn was talking about, and nothing else secretive was going on?

"Unless you find Ben, you'll never have a TV show."

Ian, you know what show you're on, you fucking know lying won't work in the long run.

"I can deal with your savior complex." That was a straight faced lie.

…was he calling Charlie Sheen? "Charlie Carter." Okay, thank God- okay, they're connected to Katzenberg, nevermind.

"You know, I once helped a bounty hunter-" "I thought you were never going to talk about Las Vegas, Summer?"

"How do you know she's the one?" "Because if she ain't, I'm getting on a boat and dying at sea."

And Neil indirectly shames Addison.

"And you're just drifting through life, lost, putting right what once went wrong-"

"We got flowers, we got the opera legend, we just gotta commit a crime!"

Robbing a wax museum. Only in Hollywood.

Addison, you can't keep shitting on Ben behind his back, he will find out, and he will get pissed.

"Ben's earned a little leadership. As a treat."

And Magic delivers some awful books. (ba-dum-ching!)

We're now in a horror movie, hot fucking damn.

Okay, I legitimately almost screamed after Not Yoda Jumpscare.

Is Not Jason Vorhees about to spring to life, I legitimately am getting freaked out the longer we stay here.

"Just get the tuxedo and go." "POLICE, OPEN UP, WE KNOW YOU'RE ROBBING THE WAX MUSEUM!"

Ben, you know what you have to do: Help Neil pick his cuffs, and escape the cops.

I don't like how quickly Ben learned the Hollywood magic of gaming the system.

But, hey, at least the cop took the bribe.

I don't know how Jenn is able to read that book, if that spotlight is shining directly at her like that.

I technically called it about that chip thing.

"So, that shitty chip is the only think letting us find Ben? Ian, no offense, but you suck at this."

"This is destiny, Summer. You know what happened the last time I tried to talk my way out of an arrest?!"

"Did Plan A go wrong?" "Ben, Neil almost got fucking arrested, what do you think?"

"It's about his daughter." "No, it's about Laura." (why-not-both.gif)

Addison, that is what we in the field like to call "Overplaying Your Hand". Now Ben's mad mad.

We have officially reached the "Relationship Bullshit Event Horizon".

"Hey, Frank, why is that agent yelling at a ghost about being abandoned for three years?" "Forget it, Jake, it's Hollywood." "I fucking hate you for making that joke."

"You know what else I did? (pointedly leaves the Imaging Chamber)"

Addison, no offense, but I'm still on Ben's side, not yours.

"Hey, Summer, why do you look like your heart got stomped on? Come on, we gotta crash a wedding!"

There is a non-zero percent chance that mug has bourbon in it.

"Hey, Addison, I know you and Ben had that fight, but I gotta talk to someone about this chip-"

"We have a few last minute flowers." "Ma'am, I know that Neil is hiding behind them."

"Summer, the bushes ate our tulips. I told you this would happen!"

Okay, having quickly looked this up, The Wedding Crashers came out in 2005, so if it turns out Ben indirectly caused the movie to exist-

"Neil, look, you're very sweet, but I am now convinced this is a nervous breakdown, do you need a blanket, or…"

"Look, time's passed, neither of us are the same people anymore. ...I can't help but notice your agent has that look on her face, so maybe that relates to her as well, but, I gotta go get married, have fun."

I'm actually impressed that Neil didn't bolt while Ben was busy apologizing to Addison.

"We still have 'The Tonight Show'." "Nah, fuck that, call me Ishmael."

[Annnnnnnnnd text limit!]

[afib-in-spain]

Episode 3 – Nerds Assemble: First Day at the University of Valencia

Guess who strutted into the University of Valencia’s Computer Science and Engineering department like they owned the place? That’s right—me (and Ruben, my trusty sidekick who doesn’t know he’s my sidekick yet).

We kicked things off by meeting the big boss lady—aka the head of this mega-ultra-European-supercollab project. What’s the project about, you ask? Oh, just a tiny little app powered by Artificial Intelligence that helps tourists navigate the city. Not impressed yet? Wait for it… It includes the best sightseeing routes, pollen-free paths (bless you, allergy squad 🤧), reviews from both tourists and locals, and probably can predict your future too. I mean… who needs Google anymore?

After that, we sat down with the rest of the international brainiacs to hear about their work. My brain melted just a little. Then came the real kicker: Ruben and I were assigned to work on the website’s frontend and backend using WordPress. Yes, we get to play with buttons and make things work behind the scenes—like the Batman and Alfred of web dev. (I’ll let Ruben decide who's who.)

They even gave us a little university tour—because you can’t just dump international interns into a building without showing them where the coffee lives. 

Our first few days were surprisingly chill. Not the “Netflix and nap” kind of chill, but the “wow, people are actually nice here” kind. We’re working closely with two programmers, Adrian and Emilio—absolute legends. They’ve been trying their best to make us laugh in English, and honestly? They're succeeding.

Lunch with them was not only fun but also educational. Adrian immediately gave us the real local guide: where the students party, where the good (and cheap) food is, and which streets to avoid unless you enjoy surprise bird poop.

The work vibe? Amazing. Friendly, relaxed, helpful—10/10, would code again. Only downside? They have never heard of airing out a room. Ever. Germany, please send help and windows that open.

[my-weird-news]

🔥 Mind-Blowing Zendaya Facts You Won't Believe Exist! 😱

Zendaya: More Than Just Spider-Man's Sidekick So, imagine this: a dazzling starlet, like a shooting star in high heels, swishes into Hollywood, and we're all left standing there blinking, wondering if we accidentally walked into a magical realm. That's Zendaya for you! 🌟 Collaborating with Beyoncé and Taylor Swift? Check! Playing MJ in the Spider-Man flicks? Checkerooni! A show-stopping duet with Zac Efron in The Greatest Showman? Check, check, and check! Oh, and did I mention she's got more Instagram followers than you can shake a selfie stick at? But hold onto your wigs, because there's more to Zendaya than meets the eye! 1. Name Game Magic Zendaya! It rolls off the tongue like chocolate syrup on a pancake stack. She's rocking the whole one-name thing, channeling her inner Cher and Prince. I mean, if you're cool enough to rock one name, you've basically won life's golden ticket, right? 2. Siblings and Time Traveling Aunthood Zendaya’s family tree is like a complex math problem. She's an only child from one side and has five siblings from the other. But here's the plot twist: she was born an aunt! Yep, nephews and nieces older than her. Time-traveling aunt, anyone? 🕰️ 3. From Hollywood to... NBA? In an alternate universe, Zendaya could be teaching us the ABCs or slam dunking in the NBA. I can't decide if I'd pay more for an education from her or courtside seats at her basketball games. 4. Circus Extraordinaire Remember The Greatest Showman? Well, Zendaya didn't just swing by – she swung in! Doing most of her own trapeze stunts, she defied gravity like a superhero. Move over, Spidey, we've got a trapeze-rocking sensation in town! 5. Midnight and Noon Chronicles First, there was Midnight, the schnauzer. But life's a crazy rollercoaster, and Midnight made her exit. Now we have Noon, the schnauzer. It's like she's running her own doggy daycare – Midnight gets the night shift, Noon takes over during the day. 🐶 6. Alita vs. Zendaya: Battle of the Dream Roles Zendaya once auditioned for Alita: Battle Angel, but lost out to Rosa Salazar. Who'd be better? It's like choosing between chocolate cake and chocolate ice cream. Why not just have both, Hollywood? 7. Spidey's Misunderstood Casting Imagine being cast in Spider-Man but thinking you're signing up for a teen comedy set in a school. Zendaya, you've officially got the casting plot twist of the century! 8. Teen Prodigy and Script Whisperer At sweet sixteen, most of us were worried about algebra tests. Zendaya? Oh, she was starring in KC Undercover and basically rewriting the script while at it. Like, who even needs to study for finals, right? 9. Fashion Fearlessness Zendaya's parents gave her fashion freedom since she was a toddler. Yep, she was basically the original toddler influencer. She draws style inspiration from legends like Madonna, Erykah Badu, and her own dad. Fashion game strong since day one! 10. Oscars and Barbie: A Match Made in Glitter Heaven Mattel turned Zendaya's Oscars look into a limited-edition Barbie doll. It's like a sparkly dream come true – now you can recreate that Oscars night and, well, maybe throw in some Ken doll drama for extra flair. 11. Birthday Bash for a Cause Who needs cake and candles when you can launch a $50,000 fundraising campaign for women's rights? Zendaya's way of celebrating her 20th birthday is basically superhero status. 12. Veggie Lover, Pizza Enthusiast Zendaya's a vegetarian, but the catch is, she's not a huge fan of veggies. It's like being a lifeguard who's afraid of water. But hey, pizza is basically a vegetable, right? 13. Actress, Singer, and... Author? Zendaya's a triple threat, but wait, there's more! She's also an author. Her book, Between U and Me: How to Rock Your Tween Years with Style and Confidence, is like the ultimate guide to surviving those awkward years with pizzazz. 14. Superstition and Black Cats Zendaya's got her superstitions on point. Spilled salt? Check. Avoiding black cats? Check. But let's see if she's ready to cross paths with Black Cat in the MCU. Marvel, are you listening? 15. The Natural Beauty Crusader Zendaya's all about embracing the beauty within. She even posted a before-and-after pic – no Photoshop needed. Her message? Love yourself, because you're fabulous just the way you are. So there you have it, a whirlwind tour through the world of Zendaya, where the impossible becomes the everyday and the extraordinary becomes the norm. It's like living in a pop culture tornado – and we wouldn't have it any other way! 🌪️# Zendaya: More Than Just Spider-Man's Sidekick So, imagine this: a dazzling starlet, like a shooting star in high heels, swishes into Hollywood, and we're all left standing there blinking, wondering if we accidentally walked into a magical realm. That's Zendaya for you! 🌟 Collaborating with Beyoncé and Taylor Swift? Check! Playing MJ in the Spider-Man flicks? Checkerooni! A show-stopping duet with Zac Efron in The Greatest Showman? Check, check, and check! Oh, and did I mention she's got more Instagram followers than you can shake a selfie stick at? But hold onto your wigs, because there's more to Zendaya than meets the eye! 1. Name Game Magic Zendaya! It rolls off the tongue like chocolate syrup on a pancake stack. She's rocking the whole one-name thing, channeling her inner Cher and Prince. I mean, if you're cool enough to rock one name, you've basically won life's golden ticket, right? 2. Siblings and Time Traveling Aunthood Zendaya’s family tree is like a complex math problem. She's an only child from one side and has five siblings from the other. But here's the plot twist: she was born an aunt! Yep, nephews and nieces older than her. Time-traveling aunt, anyone? 🕰️ 3. From Hollywood to... NBA? In an alternate universe, Zendaya could be teaching us the ABCs or slam dunking in the NBA. I can't decide if I'd pay more for an education from her or courtside seats at her basketball games. 4. Circus Extraordinaire Remember The Greatest Showman? Well, Zendaya didn't just swing by – she swung in! Doing most of her own trapeze stunts, she defied gravity like a superhero. Move over, Spidey, we've got a trapeze-rocking sensation in town! 5. Midnight and Noon Chronicles First, there was Midnight, the schnauzer. But life's a crazy rollercoaster, and Midnight made her exit. Now we have Noon, the schnauzer. It's like she's running her own doggy daycare – Midnight gets the night shift, Noon takes over during the day. 🐶 6. Alita vs. Zendaya: Battle of the Dream Roles Zendaya once auditioned for Alita: Battle Angel, but lost out to Rosa Salazar. Who'd be better? It's like choosing between chocolate cake and chocolate ice cream. Why not just have both, Hollywood? 7. Spidey's Misunderstood Casting Imagine being cast in Spider-Man but thinking you're signing up for a teen comedy set in a school. Zendaya, you've officially got the casting plot twist of the century! 8. Teen Prodigy and Script Whisperer At sweet sixteen, most of us were worried about algebra tests. Zendaya? Oh, she was starring in KC Undercover and basically rewriting the script while at it. Like, who even needs to study for finals, right? 9. Fashion Fearlessness Zendaya's parents gave her fashion freedom since she was a toddler. Yep, she was basically the original toddler influencer. She draws style inspiration from legends like Madonna, Erykah Badu, and her own dad. Fashion game strong since day one! 10. Oscars and Barbie: A Match Made in Glitter Heaven Mattel turned Zendaya's Oscars look into a limited-edition Barbie doll. It's like a sparkly dream come true – now you can recreate that Oscars night and, well, maybe throw in some Ken doll drama for extra flair. 11. Birthday Bash for a Cause Who needs cake and candles when you can launch a $50,000 fundraising campaign for women's rights? Zendaya's way of celebrating her 20th birthday is basically superhero status. 12. Veggie Lover, Pizza Enthusiast Zendaya's a vegetarian, but the catch is, she's not a huge fan of veggies. It's like being a lifeguard who's afraid of water. But hey, pizza is basically a vegetable, right? 13. Actress, Singer, and... Author? Zendaya's a triple threat, but wait, there's more! She's also an author. Her book, Between U and Me: How to Rock Your Tween Years with Style and Confidence, is like the ultimate guide to surviving those awkward years with pizzazz. 14. Superstition and Black Cats Zendaya's got her superstitions on point. Spilled salt? Check. Avoiding black cats? Check. But let's see if she's ready to cross paths with Black Cat in the MCU. Marvel, are you listening? 15. The Natural Beauty Crusader Zendaya's all about embracing the beauty within. She even posted a before-and-after pic – no Photoshop needed. Her message? Love yourself, because you're fabulous just the way you are. So there you have it, a whirlwind tour through the world of Zendaya, where the impossible becomes the everyday and the extraordinary becomes the norm. It's like living in a pop culture tornado – and we wouldn't have it any other way! 🌪️ Read the full article

[wonderfulworldofmichaelford]

Psycho Analysis: Disney’s Hades

(WARNING! This analysis contains SPOILERS!)

So you’re trying to make a family friendly version of the Greek myth of Hercules for some ungodly reason. Right off the bat, you run into the problem of how he was conceived (Zeus can’t keep his dick in his pants) and that his arch-enemy is his dad’s wife and she’s constantly trying to murder him. None of that is gonna fly, so who can we have be the bad guy in this story?

How about Hades? Everyone hates him, after all.

Hades, lord of the dead and deal maker extraordinaire, is one of the freshest and funniest villains of the Disney Renaissance. He’s not quite the epic dramatic powerhouse that some of the other villains are, but once you see him in action, you are never gonna forget him.

Motivation/Goals: Hades is a guy who gets no respect among the other gods, and so to this end he decides to follow a prophecy that will allow him to free the Titans and wage war on Olympus. Despite being in Greek mythology and people like Oedipus and Theseus being household names in the film, Hades does not seem to detect the danger in following a prophecy that will inevitably lead to his downfall due to his hubris. Of course, if he was a little more self-aware we wouldn’t have a film, and that would be horrible.

To help stop the one thing that would ruin his plans (Hercules), Hades sends all manner of mythological monsters after Hercules, from his bumbling demon sidekicks to cameos from other myths to a rapist centaur. Of course, all of this just leads into the self-fulfilling nature of the prophecy. The movie may take a lot of liberties with Greek mythology, but the spirit is there with how Hades speeds up his own fate by trying to avoid the prophecy given to him in a manner similar to King Acrisius from the myth of Perseus. His motivations may be simply lusting for power, but it honestly suits the setting very well, because this sort of blind ambition is pretty common in Greek mythology, and it always leads to a fitting end.

Performance: According to James Woods, he was the only guy who didn’t audition with a generic deep, menacing voice. According to legend, he walked in tipsy and dropped “Name's Hades, Lord of the Dead. Hi, how ya doin'?" Whatever the truth is, the world is a better place for this more comedic, sleazy used car salesman take on Hades that really makes him stand out among other mythological villains even to this day. I think it definitely helps that Woods is evil in real life, so playing the Greek version of the devil just came naturally to him.

Final Fate: Much like the Greek hero Bellerophon, Hades tried to claim Olympus as his own but did not realize it was not his place, and so much like the Chimera-slaying hero was sent packing. He tries one last time to get a win on Hercules by taking Meg’s soul and trying to get Herc to sacrifice himself for her, but Phil’s boy ascends to godhood and not only caves in his face, but tosses him into the pool of spirits, who proceed to drag him down into the depths while Pain and Panic look on with glee. Don’t worry, though; he chimes in after the credits to let you know he’s okay.

Best Scene: I think the scene where he confronts Meg in the garden and the scene where he finally meets Hercules and gets him to give up his powers are both contenders, as both really highlight what a conniving, scheming bastard he is. The former scene gets bonus points for showing how utterly creepy, manipulative, and abusive he is towards Meg, and the latter gets props for ramping up that scummy used car salesman charm that makes Hades so delightful.

Final Thoughts & Score: Hades is not the very best villain of the Disney Renaissance, but he’s damn close.

Everything about him just sticks in your mind: His fun and creative design, James Woods’s fantastic performance, his slimy personality, his explosive outbursts… Maybe he’s not a dramatic powerhouse like Frollo or a brilliant takedown of toxic mindsets like Gaston, but he’s fun, and really, that’s what Hercules is all about: Fun. It’s a colorful, exciting, and heartfelt Superman-in-Ancient-Greece story, and a story like that needs a villain like Hades to bring it together.

What really makes Hades stand out among the crowd is how Woods is always down to play the blue bastard, no matter what. Animated series? Woods is there. Every Kingdom Hearts game? Woods is there, and you get to kick his ass. House of Mouse? You know that Woods is doing that. One could argue that maybe Disney should stop letting him come back and perhaps replace him with (as Schafrillas suggested) Bob Odenkirk, but you’ve gotta admire how committed he is to the role and how he’s always down to reprise it, even if he is a nasty, creepy douchebag. It’s one of those rare instances where the villain is more charming and charismatic than the actor.

What’s really great is that, while he’s relatively simple in terms of what his goals are, it manages to be pretty accurate to the sort of thing you’d see in a Greek myth (as I’ve already stated). People love to rag on how this movie takes so many liberties with mythology, up to and including making the traditionally stern but good Hades into a villain, but it’s all in the service of the story. And even still, the core themes and lessons of Greek myths are baked into this tale, despite it deviating from the stories.

Hades is an easy 10/10. He might just be the funniest Disney villain ever, stealing the show and being effortlessly funny in ways few other Disney villains are. Aside from Iago, he might actually be the most hilarious antagonist Disney ever created in the 90s. And the fact he’s managed to stay consistently great and funny while keeping the same VA across multiple forms of media? It’s nothing short of astounding. There have been a lot of evil or antagonistic Hades since, such as the one from Kid Icarus: Uprising and the one from the game Hades, but as good as they are they are all standing in the shadow of this goofy, conniving bastard.

[popculturebuffet]

Sam and Max Save the World Retrospective: Culture Shock (Patreon Review for WeirdKev27)

It's time to hit the road you happy people as we've got a hot new retrosepctive courtsey of Kev set to run through next year using his Patreon reviews as I finally play a game i've wanted to play for close to two decades now: Sam and Max Save the World!

For all .. two of you reading this who don't know what Sam and Max is, Sam and Max is a multimedia franchise with a very simple core: A large dog man and his diminutive rabbit sidekick/bestfriend/husband/hired goon go around engaging in ultra violence, shenanignas and what have you to solve assorted cases. This simple framework is an excuse for the two to engage in hilaroius one liners, absurdist slapstick and whatever else can be crammed in. It's likely why the franchise has both endured and has such a sizeable fanbase: You only need the two main characters to make a sam and max story and they can get up to just about anything.

Sam and Max was created by Steve Purcell….'s brother. Yeah his brother Dave made the two as a kid and being a bit of a stinker, Steve made what were basically parodies of them. Eventaully he'd fleshed them out so much and drawn so many full on comics with them beyond just taking a shot at his brother as big brothers tend to do (Mine has called me stalin, what can you do?), Dave gifted him the characters one birthday. Purcell has one heck of a career in video games in animation, having made the first three monkey island games, manic mansion and of course, sam and max hit the road. He's also friends with Mike MIngola of Hellboy fame and X-Men and countless other comics legend and Longshot creator Art Adams.

His biggest legacy though is a franchise I should've visited way sooner but seems like it was made for me: Sam and Max: Starting in comics ala the Tick, while Purcell's creation hasn't had a huge number of works, the quality vastly outstrips the quantity: we have the original comcis which I intend to both read and cover at some point and have this panel so we're already off to a good start

There's a tv series i've seen a decent chunk of that's utterly brilliant and sadly didn't get the 8 seasons it deserved but the one it has is pretty good. It even features a few guest apperances from The RedGreen Show's Patrick McKenna, as Norm THE FRIEND FOR LIFE, who if they make something else sam and max at some point will hopefully come back.

One of the biggest attractions for our heroes though is games. One of their bigger projects was Sam and Max Hit The Road, coming about because Purcell had already made models for the two for some training software for LucasArts and they wanted a full game after how well his previous work had gone out, wanting more ips.

This SHOULD have lead to sequels, but Purcell's first attempt sputtered out for some reason. The second is a bit more troubled, as Lucasarts did not only make a new game but have it almost finished… until Lucasarts pulled the plug. Yeah canning something that's almost finished and could make you money isn't a new phenomina, Warner Bros has simply taken it to new douchey heights.

The fan's reactoin.. was a predictable as it was 100% accurate

This was part of a larger issue as Lucasart was phasing out adventure games, and thus laid off a bunch of it's staff. A bunch of them decided to quit and founded Telltale Games.

The team waited until LucasArts liscene experid as they refused to give it up for no explicable reason, doing csi and texas hold em games, but as soon as it was up Purcell offered it to them immeditly and we were off to the races.

Save the World was also one of the very first games to use an episodic release. Such a release isn't seen often nowadays with companies preferring to do updates or dlc instaed, but at the time it was a brilliant model as downloadbale games were still new, and while there wasn't a gurantee the game would finish (as seen sadly with an attempt to make a game out of Jeff Smith's bone) you still got something and as far as I could tell coudl pay as you went. The model was iffy.. but ended up wildly succeeding as Save the World was a rousing success, making telltale a juggernaut for the next few years. I personally remember, since I co9udln't install the game, playign the back to the future game religously and i'm curious to check out the batman one at some point.

The bottom eventually did fall out due to crunch and other such bullshit, but but thankfully for the current gen of consoles Skunkape games, made up of former telltale employees, was born and so far has mostly focused on remastering those games, wtih a third set for this year. So since i'm long overdue to finally enjoy some ultra violence and adventure gaming with these two, kev bought me the remasters for Save the World and Beyond Time and Space, with plans to get the Devils Playhouse when it comes out to play through and review every month. So with all that possibly needless but still vital expostion out of the way what kind of game did we get? Find out with me under the cut as our heroes deal with some Culture Shock, washed up 70's stars, boxing gloves, and more for episode 1!:

Presentation wise.. this game is majestic as an eagle or that time max caused an international incident by hitting said eagle with a pistrami and crowbar sandwitch to save america from the ghost of william henry harrison. The game looks crisp and the world nicely lived in, even if you'll mainly juts be going between the duo's delapadated office, their friend Sybil's psycharcy office or whatever it is this week and Bosco's Inconveince for cheese and assault rifles. The music is simple but nicely fits.

The voice acting is excellent despite being filled with actors i'd never heard of, mostly working in the adventure game genre. The Cast does a PHENOMINAL job. David Nowlin does a terrific job of Sam getting his deadpan down just perfect while Andrew Chakin does a great job as max though he's replaced by a questoin mark for the rest of the series. The two play off each other perfectly, as they should and the rest of the cast isn't too shabby either with Oggie Banks and Amy Provenzero doing a great job as Bosco, the team's suplier, conspiracy theorist and Sam's surrogate father, and Cybil, a woman who changes careers more than her hair and serves as a friend and ally of the duo in the telltale games. The result is a game that has the lively energy of a cartoon while oftne lacking it due to the format.

Finally we have the core of any comedy, how funny it is.. and for me at least.. this may be one of the most hilarious things i've ever seen and i'm only on chapter 1. While the angaonitst aren't the best and we'll get to why in a second, it's thorughly compesnated for by our main heroes just unleashing a near nonstop barrage of great lines. IT's to the point I can't remember half of them simply because they come in so fast and there's smuch. Even tv tropes crowning moment of funny page only has a fractoin. It's probably the funniest video game i've ever played and i'm only on part one. If I miss a joke it's not out of malice but more because there's hundreds.

So with all the tehcnical stuff out of the way, we're on to the case itself. Well sorta first we get a very simple but welcome tutorial, mostly because as will become clear this is only my second adventure game. I played the first chapter of telltale batman.. but that's ore like a visual novel with some quicktime events, at least as far as I got. This is a full on classic use crap in your inventory to solve shit gameplay.

I played it on switch and while I admit a point and click like this is probably better played on a pc, ironically despite relying on it to write this very review.. it really can't game. While the Skunkape remasters arne't that intesntive I got this pc entirely because the graphics card was wonky, meaning I can cover 16 bit or so games, and likely other old pc games like Sam and Max Hit The Road, but I have ot be careful going too high up as I need this thing to do my job.

The controls are decent.. it can be frustrating having to wait for sam to be in position to click on something, but it's easy enough to scroll and dosen't slowdown gameplay too much, making it a fine option if you only have a console, especially this port as you can take it with you which granted is a plus for any switch port but given how easy it is to break up gameplay here outside of cut scenes, it's perfect for it , provided you have some headphones as while the game is fine without them, as I learned while you can play the game without sound it's just better with the voice acting.

Okay so now i'm done being a lying liar who lies we can REALLY get to things as the first task sets it up. One of your inventory items is Sam's gun, and to bribe their rat Jimmy Two teeth to give them their phone back, you have to shoot up a closet full of cheese just under jesse james hand to give them holes. It's also where my inexperince set in as I didn't realize part of the point of an adventure game is "Try everything you have in your inventory" so I didn't think the gun was something I coudld use till it came to me.

With that we get our case, Bosco who runs the inconvience store, it's actual name, has had some weirdo delivering free videos to his store and wants you to stop it. Before I do though I find someone comitting some grafitti and since threats of violence don't seem to sway the little middle aged scamp and he just runs if you try to use your gun, you have to do the one thing a policeman hates most.. actually talking to the suspect. Turns out the culprit is Specs, one of the soda poppers, a bunch of child stars on a 70's sitcom who have seen better days, and whose grafftotagging our heroes office as a tribute to his hero, brady culture, star of eye-bo and fellow former child star. Since our heroes can't get rid of him for now, or so I thought, we move on to our case where it turns out it's another Soda Popper, Whizzer.

Not that one, we don't want marvel to sue… no Whizzer is another soda popper and his one character trait is…

Yeah while specs is tolerable, not having much of a personality bu having a decent enough voice the rest of the soda poppers….

Whizzer really is only the gags he can run fast and pee. His voice is annoying, and pee jokes jokes usually take the piss out of a good bit of comedy. They can be gross or just… IT'S PEE LAUGH AT IT, which thankfully Sam and Max falls into more than the former. It's just not funny. And while i'm generally not a fan of pee jokes, you CAN make them work. Observe.

Now this scene is one long pee joke, one the creators were embarassed by… but actually works. Now in itself the intial bit of Little Cato pissing on the ship to mark territory is just gross.. but the fact Gary somehow thinks this is somehow legally binding, and that Clarence instanlly buys into it and order shis own child to start pissing it up, does… and then it wraps around to comedy gold, pun unintended and now regretted, when it turns into a giant war with every one of these idiots (with Nightfall understandably sitting this stuipdity out) getting into some weird pee war, stopping to hydrate and Ash being delighted she has UTI as a result. It's still gross.. but it's also actually funny just for being so entirely stupid, in character, and well thought out.

We can't stop Whizzer for now.. well okay like Specs we could but my dumb ass hadn't figured out how. We do meet bosco whose a delight, a throughly paranoid man whose set up security, gladly tricks sam into triggering it just to get a laugh, and has a great runner of Sam asking "do you have any" only to get a solid nope. I already love bosco and like Sam wish he was my dad. He has a teargas grenade launcher ofr sale for 10,000 dollary doos.

Before I got to the third popper though I actually tried the Eye-Bo, with our heros thankfully not present for the obvious brainwashing, it instead being jimmy two teeth. This leads our heroes to needing to stop him and cultures minons.

It's here I met the third and final and worst soda popper. Yes Whizzer somehow wasn't the worst. We get Peepers. And just starting at the voice..

It is PURE agony to listen to and given any time I tried a weapon it went to a HIGHER pitch, it's pure excuriation. It's this naisly, whiny pain that just digs into your brain. It makes his eventual compuance satisfying, but given he has the most dialouge out of the main trio, and spends it having tied up Sybil in the closet and claming to be her while sounding like louie anderson's clone whose badly melting and swallowed a bunch of hellium. The actual jokes aren't bad and Sybil herself is great, we'll get to her more in a sec, Peepers is pure pain.

So after failing to cave peepers skull in as he richly deserved, I hit the road as you can drive aorund the city aimlessly and pull people over.. and turns out that was th eproblem as, this being post george floyd, I was trying to be senstive and not abuse my power. But in a spoof like this that also clearly does not see the police kindly… that's EXACTLY what I was supposed to do: shoot the tailights out and then extort the 10,000 dollars. Our heroes grossly weild their power.. but that's always been kind of the joke and intentioal or not nicely parodies the real police. Though as Homer Simpson has warned this can have consequences.

This allowed me to buy the gun which is really just a salad shooter with onions in it. And yes that was a real thing and to my shock still is. you can buy one on amazon. I best know it from these bloom county strips

Bosco's works well enough and with that I can FINALLY take my well deserved vengance out on peepers

And I DIDDDD. I got the little bastard to cry and while we sadly didn't see it on screen, Max clubbed his head in with a boxing glove.. not enough to kill him unfortunatiley but we get some info. As you'd expect I have to take out each of the soda poppers to get a piece of the clue. And after trying for ten solid minutes to figure out what I was supposed to do I consulted a guide. And it showed off two vastly diffrent kinds of condrum in an adventure game.

With Whizzer… the solution was actually well laid out and taught me a valuable lesson in patience and really obeseriving things closely when your stuck with an adventure game puzzle. Bosco had mentioned his security system and left a piece of cheese out you coudln't buy, but if you left with would boxing glove you. Earlier i'd also found out Max using the bathroom made whizzer go. So while I had to look up the solution.. it turned out to be pretty clever: put the cheese in whizzers basket of videos while he's in the bathroom. It was satisfying finding it out and more satisfying watching Bosco's security brain the little bastard. It was a solution that while time consuming I probably woudl've been able to figure out, was cleve rand nicely used every facet of the area

In contrast Specs is frustraingly vauge. Finding a pen I figured out one part, you doodle on his grafiti to move him.. but the solution is frustrating. part of it Is I didn't realize the grafiti was on their building, but even with that i'm stumped as to how I was supposed to figure "drop a bowling ball on him from the office"> It taught me sometimes these things take multiple locations.. but also taught me there's no shame in getting help as while i've heard older adventure games have had some way worse puzzles, some are just that difficult.

This however leads into a chase instead which well made up for my frustration as we get a jazzy tune for the crew that's far better than 2/3 of them deserve as you try to shoot out the wheels of Specs car.

And now we're finally free of these guys part of why they don't work, as does main villian brady culture..is what their parodying. It's clear this is a parody of the celebrity culture of the early 2000's, where it was common to make a spectacle of former child stars and other celebrties down on their luck. I mean it's not like child stars can't do horrible things in modern day, just ask drake bell, but after so many former child stars have come out with horror stories, Jenatee Mcurdy's abuse under dan schnder in paticular… it's clear that this just isn't funny any more and never should've been. The Soda Poppers aren't really sympathetic, but it's no longer the easy target it was and thus while the chapter still has merit the main villians fall entirely flat to me. It dosen't help I've been more into 80's, 90's and so on sitcoms, as most 70's sitomcs either werne't avaliable to me as a kid or just weren't funny.

Brady himself is a bit better, being pompous, arrogant and the kind of former star WORTH mocking: someone who was famous for five minutes, whose show got cancleed (as we learn on a where are they now type thing you can optionally watch in the office) in favor of Soda Poppers. He didn't seem to suffer any abuse and thus decided brainwashing was better and pettily made the soda poppers lives even worse just to satisfy his ego. I also like his bits every time a soda popper is clubbed as he enjoys it.. only to realize his plan is unraveling as a result and that's not good.

To actually get into his evil layer though, the Brady Culture Home for Former Child Stars, our heroes have to get admitted and have to be diagnosed with artifical personality syndrome. Symptoms include an obession with money, a violent reaction to dentestry and an unconcious desire to see one peers getting older, so to get comitted we go to Cybil. I took her up on her offer of free psychatricy earlier and honestly while it's easy enough at least for the first two tests to get diagonsed, her tests are worth spending a while just messsing around with. We start with an ink blot test which is full of great answers, followed by a word assicoation where you can just.. react howeve ryou like, though myf aviorite is also the one needed simply pulling out your gun and shooting things. Granted I'm not a fan of a gun in real life… but I also suspect randomly shooting non living objects is something sam and max do for fun anyway, so it's fine here.

The final test is the hardest and the only one I needed help on as it's "your peers aging"… and you have PLENTY of options of stuff ot see from max's head on a plant to bosco as your father figure and mos tof it is hliariously, partly because Sybil is VERY bad at her job and frequently calls you some degree of crazy, and because she's convinced herself max is Sam's imaginary friend despite being both able to see him and interact with him. It's great stuff and like any great time concludes with a jump out a window and Sybil singing off.

Things.. don't go great though as just a few minutes later Sam is brainwashed and giving away tapes. This puzzle took me a second but i'm proud of myself for solving it: you simply grab the cheese and get conked out. The following setpiece is a LOT of fun as you have to take out a bunch of brady culture heads: he's stolen max's body, shown up in the light socket, on the tv and in the closet as a cheese man.

The solutions are all fun: you simply jimmy your antena to shut off the tv, turn the light off to turn off Brady

And most hilarously, make Jimmy Two Teeth giant with a bike pump.. which took a second to figure out but is oh so satisfying when he finally gets messily devoured by a rat. Huh.. I wonder if i'm the one who needs therapy , not sam. Who am I kidding.. we both do.

There's also a puzzle I tried my best to solve but just.. coudln't. You can use the one way sign the boys have ot reverse gravity but I coudln't figure out how to get max's head onto hugh. As it turns out what I was supposed to do was shoot the sign, and once I read that in my guide, it was easy enough to grab the little budy head and thus take my brain back.

With that our hero is free but he has to go rescue max. Problem is to prevent this repeating again we have to figure something out. Thankfully Sybil has some blueprints from a patient for an anti mind control device, who i'm sure will be important later but for this chapter this gross breech of doctor patient confdientiatly nets me what I need and Bosco is able to build it.. and thankfully let us back in after the whole brainwashing incident. What's a good tape delivery between friends eh?

So that leads us to our finale. Using the weird helmet, Sam is able to resist the hypno ray and it seems has a straight shot to brady.. until the soda poppers show up… and immdietly get brainwashed making this climax into an actual puzzle.

Thankfully you can talk to them and there are plenty of fun options from becoming sam to becoming brady to play around with for a while before the actual solutoin: Have them worship you.. then get brady confused enough to order them to attack him instead of "the dog", allowing you to pass through , rescue your little buddy, and have Hugh Bliss blissfully dead. Sadly the Soda Poppers are still alive but you can't have everything I guess. Our heroes have won.. but it' shinted on th etv that this hypno buisness isn't sovled.

Culture Shock is a fun start to thing. Like I said the villians.. are okay. Brady is funny enough thanks to his voice acting, but the soda poppers are one guy whose kinda there.. and two of the most annoying wastes of space and my patience i've ever seen. Especially you peepers, especially you. But the comedy is still at a fever pitch enough to be fun, and theres enough highlights, paticuarlly the second act with the therapy and sam's brain sequences, to make this a solid start. Pick up this game if you haven't and i'll see you next chapter as our heros have to taste the fame to stop another mind control scheme. Until then you can follow me here and on twitter for more shenanigans. Thanks for reading.

[kholran]

10 Characters, 10 Fandoms, 10 Tags

Thank you for tagging me @hils79! I’ve had this sitting in drafts forever because I decided to make all the gifs myself.

I’ve done a few of these with overall faves, so from now on, when/if I get tagged again, I’m going to pick a theme for the post. This time the theme is Favourite Sidekicks. Because what is a male lead in C-drama without his trusted subordinate helping him out?

In no particular order:

1. Gu Xiang played by Zhou Ye (Word of Honour)

2. Kan Jian played by Kudousi Jiang Ainiwaer (The Lost Tomb Reboot)

3. Luo Que played by Yu Kaining (Sha Hai)

4. Liang Qiu Fei and Liang Qiu Qi played by Sun Kai and Zhang Chen (Love Like the Galaxy)

5. Chu Xifeng played by Zhao Yixin (Legend of Yunxi)

6. Shangque played by Lin Bai Rui (Love Between Fairy and Devil)

7. Mu Jin played by Yi Daqian (The Long Ballad)

8. Da Qing played by Li Yan (Guardian)

9. Wen Xing played by Zhou Zhaoyuan (The Blooms at Ruyi Pavilion)

10. Yuan Che/11th Prince played by Gong Jun (Lost Love in Times)

I know I’m supposed to tag 10 people but I’ve been working on this post long enough so if you want to do it, consider yourself tagged.

[velmajinkies]

“KINDA MAKES YOU NOSTALGIC FOR THE HOMICIDAL CREATURES, DOESN’T IT?”

INTRODUCING…

NAME: Velma Dinkley

GENDER & PREFERRED PRONOUNS: Cis woman {She/Her}

AGE: 25

BIRTHDAY: September 20 {Virgo}

SEXUALITY: Bisexual

FACE CLAIM: Davika Hoorne

OCCUPATION: Computer Engineer Paranormal Detective

HOMETOWN: Coolsville

POWERS/ABILITIES: Genius Intelligence & Computer Whiz

CHARACTER PLAYLIST: HERE.

UP NEXT: “SUBSTANCE” BY DEMI LOVATO

BIOGRAPHY:

For Velma, being the smartest one of the group has always been painful. There has always been an immense amount of pressure on her shoulders to be perfect, have the perfect plan and basically solve everything. Being the daughter of one Harvard legacy is bad enough but for Velma she’s the daughter of two and because of that her parents expect so much from her. Her father, Dale Dinkley, is a biochemist while her mother, Angie, is a Neurologist. So from the moment Velma was brought into the world she was expected to be nothing but the best. when the Dinkley’s decided to relocate to Coolsville, Velma was about five at the time. Her parents were at first oblivious to the towns horror culture and urban legends that surrounded it. Once they found out they decided to take advantage of Coolsville’s history and squeeze every penny out of the gullible people in the town. Thus, causing them to open the Coolsville spook museum. It was a little side project they ran. The Dinkley’s weren’t about to completely give up their hard earned paychecks for a bunch of ghost stories. While Velma was taught to think everything through with hard facts and science, as a child she did believe in ghosts. When her parents thought she was studying Velma was actually reading up on the history of the town and the paranormal. It’s safe to say she grew a bit of an obsession. Velma tried her best to hide her love for everything spooky but that all went downhill after her mother found one of her ghost story books while cleaning her room. The Dinkley’s immediately searched Velma’s room retrieving and disposing of all those pointless books, telling their daughter that she needed to focus on reality and not fiction. That was a hard pill for Velma to swallow.

Luckily for the girl, when she entered middle school she found a group of people who were a little different like herself. Freddy, Shaggy and Daphne were the only people who would talk to Velma and she was actually very grateful for that fact. By some miracle they all believed there was more to Coolsville than met the eye and formed a strong bond over that. They spent all their time together going on adventures. The friendship they had was unbreakable. At least, when they were kids it was. As they got older they started to drift a part. Velma started to grow a distaste for Freddy. He would always act like he was the one with all the brilliant ideas and never give credit where it was due. She was the one who came up with all the plans and she was tired of playing second fiddle to Freddy because he was the ‘pretty boy’ leader. Although Daphne was her best friend, Velma hated the constant comparisons between the two of them. She understood that she as popular or even as rich as Daphne but she was tired of people labeling her the nerdy, frumpy sidekick. She was just as amazing as Daphne, hell she was probably better than her and Freddy combined. So when high school hit and they all drifted apart for good, Velma wasn’t too sad about the losses. 

In high school Velma stayed at the top of her class, got the best grades all around and was even president of the engineering club. In her spare time she sometimes helped give tours at the museum. The enthusiasm she once had for ghosts was gone by that time. without the gang to keep her belief alive she let her parent’s words sway her into now thinking all the paranormal she once believed was fake. Velma was a shell of the girl she once was. The love for learning was sucked out of her. she was constantly just going through the motions until she finally graduated from Harvard. Her life had become stale, that is until Freddy Jones, of all people, came to her asking if she wanted to get the gang back together for a special case. For a second she wanted nothing to with the gang but then Velma thought long and hard about it. These three people were the only ones who ever truly accepted her. Sure, times had changed drastically, but being there with them again for a moment, a little bit of the old Velma came back. Her fire was reignited and Velma Dinkley was about to go solve one of the biggest mysteries to date: the mystery of Coolsville itself. With her laptop in tow she headed for Elias. They’d need her brains anyway. plus while solving cases she’d be able to leave her overbearing parents for a bit and figure out what she wanted in life for once. 

EXTRA-EXTRA, READ ALL ABOUT HER!

Velma is more than meets the eye. Yes, she is a bet self-centered about her intellect, but due to being compared to Daphne for so long she has a bit of insecurities when it comes to her physical looks; She often times than not, picks herself apart when she looks in the mirror. This makes her adversed to physical comments/compliments and thoroughly favors those who note her intellect and life accomplishments as opposed to surface-level aspects. Velma is always thinking ahead; Having plans A-Z outlined before someone could even pitch an idea. Lately, she’s finally getting back to the lively part of herself due to Fred wanting to get the group back together. Though this is exciting to her, she also is a bit worried about having to go back to being second best around Daphne. Ultimately, Velma is very confident in her mental ability, and often times than not will try asserting her position above others through her intellect. At the end of the day, Velma can be very warm and friendly - especially to those who are a little different and stray from the “norm.”

PERSONALITY:

+ Knowledgable, Sly, and Witty

- Self-Centered, Cynical, and Secretive

[mandajiu]

New Life Begins 卿卿日常* like most Chinese dramas is known by a whole bunch of other names (see below).

I think it is very cute. I am relatively new to period dramas. I have been a fan of modern Asian dramas for well over 15 years now. My first drama was the Taiwanese ISWAK. However, even with the little experience I have with historical pieces this feels very high on tropes and oddly reminiscent of the Xing Fei's Lost Track of Time if the setup were an about face in terms of happiness with an up-tick of female camaraderie between the woman of the palace.

I am 6 episodes in and I might just stay for the whole thing, but I'm not getting any feeling of watching something that is extraordinarily different or groundbreaking to warrant all the hype about this drama. I am happy that it is receiving praise because with the recent revelation of BJT/SY dating somewhat seriously, people seem happy for them and are (gasp)not letting it stop them from enjoying New Life Begins. I gotta say this is a positive sign of the times changing for real couples in Chinese dramaland. Kudos for being rational netizens - keep it up!

Bai Jing Ting is quite handsome and Tian Xiwei is extremely adorable in this drama, almost to the point of trying too hard but cute enough I forgive her. The have a cute little puppy Baifu and a myriad of other sidekicks to help aid their love story along in this so far very frothy fare. I am really loving Chen Xiao Yun in this drama who plays the FL's childhood friend. She is always so arresting-looking. I have been ga-ga for her look since I tried really hard to watch Novoland: Pearl Eclipse. Their relationship was soooo problematic. (See Quippe Quest for more on that) My favorite character is similar to LLtG's Qiqi, Shangguan, who is a badass overall with a soft inner core.

It is not exactly the most body positive show. So far we have seen anachronisms such as the waist to paper measurement of an ideal body from modern times that just needs to go away. The drama is set in a fictional place divided into 9 regions which they introduce in the beginning - best to take notes if you are a stickler about these things -, so they can take many liberties with the plot and history. On the plus side, the women are being very gentle with each other overall except for the one wife who is not really happy with a new concubine.

What do you think? This is a drama I'm watching until my favorite C-entertainers 30 and 88's dramas come out: Nothing But You, Legend of Anle, and Prosecution Elite.

Dramas on Hold: Falling into You - Am I the only one who cannot handle how young the ML is playing his character? It's not his age or even his acting prowess; it's just that Wang Anyu is a very sober young man and playing this character that was so different he decided to go way too naive. Also, the chemistry between the second male lead and FL was really good. I'm having second lead syndrome. Someone convince me to continue because I've been in it for a while. The last episode I watched SPOILER

You have been warned! Spoilers ahead

the two had gone to ML's home and both parents are wise to the whole 'ship. Don't get me started on the "purity" thing with the FL - it was bad enough in Meng Hua Lu, but in a modern drama with the elder woman over 30??!? Come on people!

*AKA Qing Chuan Daily Life , Qing Chuan Ri Chang , Xin Chuan Ri Chang , 青川日常 , 清穿日常 , 新川日常

[raeynbowboi]

Building an Embodiment of the Fairytale Princess (2.0)

This is nothing new. I’ve done this build before, which I’ll link right [here]. The post did really well, and people seemed to love the concept. However, since then, Mythic Odysseys of Theros and Tasha’s Cauldron of Everything have both come out, bringing with them not only new subclasses, but new features, spells, mechanics, and elements that I couldn’t take into consideration the first time around. So, I decided that rather than just adding a tag on post like I did before, I’d just remake the build with the new features being taken into consideration. Like before, the focus of the build is to create an embodiment of the generic fairytale princess and not any one particular character. So without further ado, let’s get into it.

Like before, we’ll be choosing Variant Human for our race of choice. We’ll channel Sleeping Beauty to be gifted by the fey with blessings of Beauty, Grace, and Song for +1 CHA, +1 DEX, and Performance proficiency. We also get a bonus feat, and thanks to Tasha’s, we can now take Fey Blessed for +1 CHA. However, if she doesn’t cast with Charisma, then substitute those CHA bonuses with Wisdom instead.

The generic fairytale princess is a maid of purest heart, so we’re Lawful Good. But for your more rebellious princesses, Neutral Good or Chaotic Good are also valid.

Background is obviously Noble for proficiency with History and Persuasion.

CLASSES & SUBCLASSES

BARD

This one seems pretty obvious. Bards love to sing and dance, like your stereotypical princess. Because Charisma is their top stat, and they have expertise, it can make them great negotiators, and allow them to excel in dialogue interactions.

GLAMOUR

This college is very fitting for a fairytale princess, as it is focused on making oneself as beautiful and charming as the Fairest of Them All.

LORE 

Lore bards share information, whether they tell stories, recite plays, share philosophy, or spread juicy gossip, the Lore Bard gets more magical secrets, and added expertise to make your princess an even bigger Mary Sue. In actual medieval history, princesses often learned to play instruments and sing, recite prayers or poems, or tell stories to visiting guests, and it was considered a part of her education and duty to do so.

CLERIC

While not every princess is a devout religious girl, their stories tend to be set in the medieval period when a good princess would have been expected to be chaste and pious. So on that front, worshiping a good deity would be befitting of such a character.

LIFE

The fairytale princess raises up those they care about, and nothing is more supportive and helpful than keeping your friends on their feet. The Life Cleric turns your princess into a kind soul who weeps for her friends and patches them up after the battle, turning your princess into a useful ally against the wicked witches and dangerous dragons.

LIGHT

Not all Fairytale Princesses are passive or support players. Those who lean toward Light are the princesses who stand as the Big Good of their story and battle the forces of Darkness with the power of the Light. Of the three Cleric options that fit the archetype, this is the best option for being a powerhouse in combat.

PEACE

Don’t get me wrong, I still hate this domain for wearing the skin of the Love Domain we were supposed to get, and you can absolutely still play it that way. How this domain went from Love to Togetherness to Pacifism is beyond me, but it’s a fairly strong subclass. The classic princess archetype is supposed to be gentle and kind, fitting for one who worships a god of mercy and forgiveness. It’s a value often toted as the strongest characterization of the early Disney princesses.

DRUID

My first time building the fairytale princess, I ignored Druid as an option because the wildshaping didn’t really make sense for a fairytale princess, but a lot of the Bardic Magical Secrets were used to steal Druid spells. However, thanks to the optional rules from Tasha’s, Druids can now use their Wildshape to summon fey that take on the shapes of animals instead of turning into the animals themselves, which makes Druid far more viable, as summoning animals is very in-character for a fairytale princess.

DREAMS 

The Circle of Dreams has heavy Fey associations with references to the Summer Court ruled by Titania. It also is strongly focused on healing, and has a very Fairy Tale flavor to it. It’s an especially great option if you want to invoke Sleeping Beauty, as you can cloak your party while you sleep and send messages to people through your dreams.

SHEPHERD

The fairytale princess is strongly associated with animal buddies, and nothing makes better use of that than the Shepherd Druid, which focuses on amassing an army of critters. What’s more, the Unicorn Totem is very fitting, not only because Unicorns only approach maidens with pure hearts, but Shepherds of the Unicorn Totem get empowered healing.

SORCERER

The sorcerer is born with a spark of something special in them, and a lot of fantasy royalty have magical powers that other people in their world lack.

DIVINE SOUL

The princess doesn’t literally have to be the descendant of the gods, as the original name for the subclass was more about being favored by the gods. Still, if you want to lean into the idea of the princess as the Big Good against the Big Bad, then having her be born with the spark of the gods inside her makes for a neat characterization.

WILD MAGIC 

With the new Sorcerer Shards as I’ve come to call them, we were introduced to the Feywild Shard, which was heavily geared toward Wild Magic Sorcerers, which seems to be WoTC’s way of saying that Wild Magic Sorcerers are the fey-linked sorcerous origin, so I’m including it because of our fey connection. 

WARLOCK

This is the only class where there’s exactly one good option, but it’s one that works surprisingly well.

ARCHFEY 

As a Warlock with a Pact of the Chain, your fairytale princess can choose to Find Familiar any cute little animal companion, or a Sprite to be your Fairy Godmother. Or rather, you can sign a pact with your Fairy Godmother, and use your Chain Pact to summon one of her emissaries to help you. The Archfey patron themselves can act as your Fairygodther, granting you and your party boons and aid where they need it.

WARLOCK INVOCATIONS

Agonizing Blast Armor of Shadows Beast Speech Eldritch Mind Eldritch Sight Gift of the Ever-Living Ones Shroud of Shadow Voice of the Chain Master

CHARISMA vs WISDOM

The big split in how you build your princess falls down the line between these two camps. The wise princess works better as a Druid/Cleric, while a charming princess is more of a Bardlock. For me personally, as much as the Cleruid fits the fairytale princess, the stereotype of the princess is usually that she is gullible, naïve, and overly trusting. Insight is a wisdom check, and something the classic princess archetype is usually bad at. Granted, Animal Handling is also Wisdom, but the Bard’s expertise can overrule a low Wisdom score. Think of it like a clash between Princess Zelda from the Legend of Zelda vs Princess Peach from Mario. Princess Zelda is wise and is much more focused on leadership and protecting her kingdom. Peach is more about the pretty dresses and having servants help her. They’re two very different camps on the princess archetype. Ultimately, which one you choose will depend on the type of princess you wish to invoke. The Classic Damsel or the Wise Matriarch.

SIDEKICKS

A new feature added in Tasha’s, sidekicks are secondary characters that can help the party and are basically simplified character builds with fewer bells and whistles. There are three main camps:

Expert. Experts are clever and knowledgeable, be they minstrels, librarians, pickpockets, merchants, or assassins. They can pick proficiency with DEX, INT, or CHA saving throws, and can be proficient or an expert with any five skills of your choice, and humanoids also gain proficiency with light armor, simple weapons, and two tools of your choice.

Spellcaster. Trained in the secrets of the Arcane, be they a priest, a fortuneteller, or a magical creature. They can choose proficiency with INT, WIS, or CHA checks, and can be proficient in Arcana, History, Insight, Investigation, Medicine, Performance, Persuasion, or Religion. They choose a roll to determine their spell list: Mage (Wizard), Healer (Cleric, Druid) or Prodigy (Bard, Warlock). The sidekick has access to the spell list of the classes their role aligns with, as well as casting with that stat.

Warrior. trained fighters, be they a soldier, a city guard, a trained animal, or a hired sword. They can pick proficiency with STR, DEX, or CON saving throws, and their skill options are Acrobatics, Animal Handling, Athletics, Intimidation, Nature, Perception, and Survival. Warriors can pick a fighting style: either Offensive to add +2 to attack and damage rolls, or Defender to impose disadvantage on hitting creatures other than them while within 5 feet of the princess.

Generic Princess Sidekicks

Humanoid Guard Warrior (bodyguard) Humanoid Commoner Expert (handmaiden, governess, etc.) Humanoid Magewright Spellcaster (court mage, or advisor) Any Beast-type Warrior (animal companion)

Fairytale Inspired Sidekicks

Seven Dwarves - Dwarf Warrior Fairy Godmother - Sprite or Pixie Spellcaster Prince Charming - Humanoid Noble Warrior Wicked Witch - Barovian Witch Spellcaster Beast - Gnoll, Jackalwere, Orc, or Troglodyte Warrior Puss in Boots - Awakened Cat or Tabaxi Warrior The Frog Prince - Awakened Frog or Grung Warrior Three Little Pigs - Awakened Pig Expert, Spellcaster, & Warrior Big Bad Wolf - Wolf Warrior or Awakened Wolf Expert Robin Hood - Redbrand Ruffian or Bandit Expert Djinn of the Lamp - Dust, Ice, or Magma Mephit Spellcaster Pinocchio - Giant Stone Statue Warrior White Rabbit - Awakened Rabbit Expert Cheshire Cat - Awakened Cat Expert or Spellcaster

There is no actual limit to the number of sidekicks your character can have, so in theory, your fairytale princess could have an entire posse of talking animals hanging out and helping her.

Skills, Spells, and Features

As a Variant Human, we got Performance proficiency alongside our Fey Touched feat, and as a Noble, we have proficiency with Persuasion and History. For everything else, we’re just looking to be a standard Fairytale Princess. So we should look to be proficient with: Animal Handling, Arcana, Religion, Nature, or Medicine.

BASIC FAIRIES

Dancing Lights Faerie Fire Healing Spirits Spirit Guardians Summon Fey Conjure Woodland Beings Conjure Fey

BASIC PRINCESS THINGS

Animal Friendship Command Heroism Speak With Animals Animal Messenger Calm Emotions Find Steed Warding Bond Zone of Truth Conjure Animals Mord’s Magnificent Mansion

SNOW WHITE

Armor of Agathys Mirror Image Beacon of Hope Aura of Purity Heroes’ Feast

CINDERELLA

Fabricate Creation True Polymorph Wish

SLEEPING BEAUTY

Sleep Phantasmal Killer Dream Wall of Thorns Dream of the Blue Veil

THE LITTLE MERMAID

Charm Person Shatter Suggestion Tidal Wave Compulsion Control Water Dominate Person Maelstrom Control Weather Tsunami Storm of Vengeance

BEAUTY AND THE BEAST

Charm Monster Unseen Servant Tiny Servant Animate Objects Awaken Hold Monster Summon Fiend

Last time I built the fairytale princess, I gave her exactly 1 build. 18 levels of glamour bard and 2 levels of Archfey Warlock. But recently I’ve begun to instead put more stock in leaving builds open, showing instead the options that a player has to choose from. So, for this update, I’m not pushing for a specific build. I’ve laid out the appropriate spells, and the types of princesses that a player can strive to emulate with their spell lists. Consider this more of a guide to help you decide how you want to play your fairytale princess.

[destielshippingnews]

Edvard's Supernatural Rewatch & Review: 1x04 Phantom Traveler

In this week’s analysis, I’ll be discussing the unfortunate introduction of Abrahamic mythology, the lamentable gender politics of Dean in his nightwear, and magic languages.

Supernatural’s fourth offering, 1x04 Phantom Traveler, (not a misspelling, 'traveller' is spelt like that in America) is a solid episode. It’s not fantastic, and Supernatural certainly has better to offer, but it’s still an entertaining watch which introduces demons into the Supernatural universe and continues developing Dean and Sam’s characters, making them more distinct.

It is also the first episode Robert Singer directed for Supernatural. I didn’t see much to particularly comment on in the direction for this episode (my two years of Media Studies were not wasted on me at all), but one interesting choice, however, is the tracking shot of Dean’s sleeping form straight after the title card. EscapingPurgatory podcast had a shrewd postulation: the intended audience was heterosexual educated men between the ages of roughly 15 and 39, but a lot of them would be watching with their girlfriends and wives etc, and Dean is the brother who’s available at the moment.

Returning to the plot of the show, the script does itself a major disservice as early as the cold open. This episode was broadcast in America four years after 9/11 (almost four and a half in Britain) and was right in the middle of the decades-long and still ongoing war on drugs. The atmosphere surrounding airfare has changed fundamentally. The air hostess clearly saw the man’s black eyes and was affected by it, and should have alerted somebody on the plane to her worries, because she would have thought he was on drugs of some variety at the very least, and possibly smuggling drugs on the plane. However, for the purposes of the plot she does not act on her misgivings, but simply gasps and goes about her day.

This raises the question of why the demon revealed its presence like that. Demons are usually incredibly stupid on Supernatural, but this level of dumb is difficult for me to believe. The air hostess could have very easily had the man thrown off the aeroplane, and then its plan would be scuppered. The most likely reason was to show the audience that the man was possessed, but the audience was going to find that out in about a minute’s time anyway, so why reveal it there? It breaks the fourth wall in a bad way.

Whilst on the aeroplane and the demon’s plan, the episode never makes the demon’s motivations explicit. Sure, Sam claims that demons like death and destruction for their own sake, but this doesn’t fit well with how demons behave later in the show. They are, forsooth, as thick as poo, but they usually have higher ups telling them what to do. Was the demon’s repeated downing of aeroplanes part of a higher up’s plan?

Before I go on, it’s worthwhile mentioning that this episode is the first one to introduce the idea of an actual Abrahamic Hell in the Supernatural universe. It’s not the only genre show of its kind to have included something like this, with Charmed having the Underworld where the Source of All Evil resided, and Buffy having various Hell dimensions, but those two examples weren’t Hell as depicted in the Bible.

Joss Whedon specifically avoided the idea of a Hell and employed dimensions ruled by demons and demon gods rather than Archangel Lucifer. Charmed used the Underworld as an equivalent of Hell, but it was not a place of punishment for human souls. While Charmed is definitely my least favourite fantasy/horror/sci-fi genre show (Prue notwithstanding), I appreciated that it took a step away from Abrahamic mythology. Buffy/Angel were even better, having their own mythology that had precious little to do with Middle Eastern religions and more to do with Dunsany, Lovecraft or sometimes even Tolkien.

Kripke, however, took the lazy route with Abrahamic, specifically Christian, mythology, a choice which I believe was to the show’s detriment. It’s supposed to be a show about American folklore and urban legends, but that stuff eventually gets thrown under the bus. Forget Native Americans, screw the Americanised versions of Scandiwegian lore, screw the Old West and the Gold Rush and all the tales revolving around America’s history. And Canada? Pfft. What even is Canada? And don’t even think about Mexico. Let’s just have yet more desert myths from 2-3000 years ago.

My distaste aside, this universe has a Hell (and a Heaven), and demons are made by torturing humans until all humanity is gone from them, or by letting the humans off the torture rack if they agree to become the torturers.

Knowing this, two possibilities come to mind. One is that this demon is repeating its own human death for some reason, and another is that it kills people and drags their souls to Hell to make more demons.

Repeating its own death is entirely speculative, but this episode mixes up demons with traits later associated with ghosts and death echoes. Never again is an EMF reader used to detect demonic activity, and unless I’ve forgotten a certain example, demons aren’t shown to act as specifically as this again.

The second option, that of dragging souls to Hell, doesn’t seem likely as it’s made clear that demon deals or trades are required in order for Hell to get its claws on human souls, at least in usual circumstances. There’s nothing saying that demons can’t just decide to drag certain souls to Hell, and there is an implication at the end of this episode that this might actually be the case, but it’s a stretch. If this were the case, however, it would give the demon a real motive and make the episode less of a stand-alone bit of fun with overt X-Files vibes.

Sticking with Hell events on the aeroplane for now, let’s skip to the end and the exorcism. Whilst trying to exorcise the demon, it tells Sam that Jessica is burning in Hell. Dean tries to reassure Sam by saying that demons read minds and that it was trying to get to him, but demons can only know the minds of people they possess. This then leaves three options: the demon was lying and Jess is in Heaven, it was telling the truth and Jess is in Hell, or the demon was just trying to get to Sam, but unbeknownst to him Jess actually was in Hell.

Technically speaking, Jess shouldn’t be in Hell. She didn’t make a deal (that we know of) and it’s established later in the show that most people go to Heaven anyway. But Kevin didn’t, neither did Eileen or Bobby. Mary did, even though she made a deal with Azazel, and she died under the same circumstances as Jess. As Jess is never mentioned as being in Hell by another demon in the show, and as Dean, Sam and Cas eventually visit Hell and find nothing of her there, we can assume Jessica went to Heaven.

The exorcism in this episode is strange compared to exorcisms in the rest of the show. The Doyle (external to the text) explanation is clearly that the writers didn’t know exactly how they wanted things to work yet, but the Watson (within the text) explanation could be that they used a different exorcism ritual. Later in the show, there is no intermediate stage between being expelled from the host body and being banished to Hell: they just go directly down. This version, though, forces the demon to manifest and thereby makes it much stronger and more dangerous. I personally think the version in this episode makes the demons more of a threat because it’s harder to exorcise them, but I can see why it became streamlined later in the show.

The fact the demon possessed the aeroplane, however, raises the question of why it didn’t do so in the first place. Maybe it’s more fun to possess a human first.

Speaking of the ritual, Jared tells us on the commentary that he had to have a Latin teacher from a local university instruct him in Ecclesiastical Latin because he learnt Classical Latin at school. As a language person, I’m left wondering why. It’s the same language, just pronounced differently. Does the spell need to be pronounced in a certain way in order to work? If so, would the Ancient Romans have been completely incapable of expelling demons with their own language? Would they have had to rely on Greek, Etruscan, Gaulish or Sumerian for the rituals? It’s just completely unnecessary, especially as we later see Rowena casting spells in Scottish Gaelic, Irish witches casting spells in Irish, Celtic ‛demons’ performing rituals in Gaulish…

At least the university teacher got a little bit of extra money, I suppose.

Sticking with the aeroplane a little bit longer, Dean’s fear of flying is a welcome expansion to his character, though it was clearly included with the intent of making fun of him. It could easily have been played as such, but Jensen’s comments on the commentary indicate he saw it as an opportunity to provide more depth to Dean, as his connection with Lucas through their shared childhood trauma did in 1x03 Dead in the Water. In these two episodes, Jensen begins taking Dean away from the writers and making him his own: he was supposed to be the sidekick, but Jensen said nope.

In making Dean afraid of flying, but having him so insistent upon flying in spite of it, The Show perhaps did itself a bit of a disservice in its mission of making Sam The Hero and Dean The Sidekick. Dean was terrified, but flew anyway. That is bravery, and it’s what the audience wants to see in a hero.

Sam, however, does not miss an opportunity to make me dislike him (you knew this was coming at some point, don’t look surprised). Not only is he incredibly unappreciative and derisive of Dean’s talents, such as making his own EMF from an old Walkman, but he was also derisive of Dean’s fear of flying.

Sorry, let me reword that. Derisive of Dean for being scared of flying. It’s perfectly rational to be afraid of being in a giant metal bird suspended miles above the ground, but Dean agreed to it anyway in order to save people. And Sam treats him like a child because he’s scared of take-off and turbulence. Dean’s fear is a rational one, something that a person who hasn’t been sheltered from reality would have. Sam’s greatest fear, however, is…

Clowns.

I get it, they’re brothers, and siblings are supposed to rib on each other like this (the siblings I still talk to aren’t like this with me or each other, so I find it difficult to relate to Dean and Sam’s relationship) but it makes Sam come across as an utter cunny-hole. If somebody is clearly terrified of something and on the edge of a panic attack, you don’t sneer and mock, and then demand he calm down. Sure, Dean needed to calm down and Sam was the only one who could do it, but talking to him like a child just reveals how little Sam knows of taking care of other people. He’s the pampered younger brother, and it really shows.

He also shows a lack of judgement when roughly putting a hand on Dean’s shoulder while he was distracted. Dean’s essentially a war child (and suffers C-PTSD) and you just shouldn’t do things like this to somebody like that. That’s how you trigger panic attacks or flashbacks. Ask a veteran, I’m sure s/he’ll agree.

Aside from that, the middle-aged man on the aeroplane winked at Dean – winked – when Dean was walking down the aisle with his EMF reader. A man winking at a man has sexual overtones nowadays, and has done for a long time. How many men wink at a built guy standing over them like that unless they’re sure they won’t be punched in the face? Dean had his EMF reader out at that moment, but he was simultaneously on somebody else’s radar. Something about Dean set sexual bells ringing in cameo middle-aged man’s head. Regarding Sam, there’s two important moments for him in this episode (Jess aside): when he discovers John talked about and praised him in his absence, and when he exorcises the demon. It’s made clear in a few episodes’ time that Sam never felt like he fit in with his family, and that he believed John was disappointed in him. Exactly how he came to this conclusion is uncertain, since John doted on Sam and afforded him liberties he never would have allowed Dean, but it’s clear their relationship is difficult. Going away to university was Sam’s attempt to run away from the dysfunctional family he felt an outsider in and to escape John (and Dean): that he apparently didn’t speak to either John or Dean during his time there says a lot.

He finds out, however, that John praised him, undermining somewhat Sam’s belief that John regarded him as a disappointment. Episode 1x05 Bloody Mary provides another moment of character growth for Sam that subtly changes the way he perceives himself, but all in due course.

Praise from parents is important for children, and it really shouldn’t be hard for parents to tell their children they’re proud of them, even if they don’t say it in as many words. In spite of his difficult relationship with John, Sam gets that by proxy in this episode (whilst Dean’s happily checking out all the men in the hangar) and it changes the way he sees himself and John, even if only slightly.

The other moment – discussed above – is his exorcism of the demon. I don’t mince my words about disliking Sam, but even I can see he had potential. He’s the weird kid who wanted a normal life, but because of cursed blood had that hope denied him. Series 4 shows us the beginning of what Sam could have turned into when his blood magic arc truly kicks off, and it could have been a riveting plotline if written and handled well. Think for example of Willow in Buffy and the journey she went on with her magic powers: there was real darkness in there, and a gargantuan struggle to overcome it and become stronger.

This exorcism reminds me of Willow’s first steps at witchcraft in 2x22 when she casts the spell to restore a certain character’s soul and we see the potential for true strength as she performs the spell with ease. This exorcism of Sam’s should have been something similar, and his demonic powers should not have been completely removed and forgotten about in 8x23. He could have been Supernatural’s answer to Willow, and the Dark!Sam arc in series 3-7 could have been the first in his descent into darkness and his fight back out to take control of his own powers and become the opposite of what Azazel wanted him to be.

But – and not for the last time – three words come to mind. Such potential, Supernatural.

You might remember I mentioned the tracking shot of Dean (and neglected to mention the revealing shot of his thighs and underwear). Paula R. Stiles’ suggestion that the fact the writers and director for this episode were men doesn’t cheapen it is one I don’t understand. Jensen is in my 100% objective and unbiased opinion one of the finest men alive, but exploiting that in order to draw in an audience does cheapen the show.

To be fair, Supernatural is hardly high culture and commercial television is about revenue, but things like that break the illusion of artistic integrity, just like not making Dean explicitly bisexual does because that’d scare away too much of the audience. If having scantily-clad women in a show or film is there for the male gaze and drawing in money, then so too are Dean’s thighs and buttocks, similarly cheapening the show. If the male gaze objectifies women, stripping them of their power and subjecting them to male desires, then the female gaze objectifies and strips men of any power they might have and subjects them to female desires.

If it’s bad for the gander, it should also be bad for the goose.

Neither do I think it matters one bit that the writer and director are men, or am I supposed to believe a woman has never encouraged or coerced another woman to flash a bit of boob in order to get men to empty their pockets? Claiming that presenting a person as an object of possible sexual attraction turns him into an ‛object’ is strange, and that claim’s only ever made when women are being presented for men’s enjoyment.

But let’s stick to Supernatural because I have work in the morning. To be honest, I never notice if a woman on screen is being subjected to a ‛male’ gaze because I have no sexual or romantic interest in women whatsoever: if a woman is supposed to be portrayed as appealing to men’s eyes, it’ll usually go straight over my head because it just doesn’t register as having anything to do with sex. Interesting, however, is that this begins the trend of treating Dean in certain ways that women are usually treated, or associating him with ‛feminine’ traits.

Some people go overboard with for example Dean’s association with and likeness to Mary, his taking on the parental (maternal?) role in Sam’s upbringing, his knack with children etc, and use it as evidence to suggest that any traditionally masculine behaviour – or masculine behaviour at all – from Dean is a performance to keep up an act so that he can hide how feminine he really is.

My take on this is quite different than the condescending viewpoint that a man behaving like a man is performing and pretending. Dean’s ‛feminine’ traits are not his ‛true’ self in opposition to his feigned masculine behaviour. There is absolutely no contradiction between Dean exhibiting ‛feminine’ traits such as being good with children, cooking, or trying his hardest to fill the role Mary would have filled, and being a masculine man who identifies very strongly with being male.

I do think it’s fascinating, though, and the complexity and depth of Dean as a male character is one of the reasons he is one of my favourite characters. We rarely get to see men who are very manly and also incredibly loving, loyal and paternal and who exhibit a normal range of human behaviours and interests, including ‛masculine’ and ‛feminine’. That’s what normal men are like, something television and film seem to have forgotten.

Regarding Dean in bed, note that he is a stomach sleeper (sleeping on your stomach keeps your tummy safe), and this is consistent throughout all fifteen years of the show. However, this early in the show he takes his trousers, outer shirts and shoes off, in contrast to sleeping fully dressed as he begins doing sometime rather soon. He’s alert and cautious this early in the show, but not yet quite so worn down that he can’t be bothered to get ready for bed.

Note also that both brothers have sleeping problems here. Dean knew Sam was still up at 3am, meaning Dean likely slept for less than three hours, having been woken up by Sam at 5:45.

The end of the episode presents the brothers with something to be hopeful about. John has a new mobile phone number, the first evidence they’ve had so far that he is very probably still alive. It’s not much to go on, and John does not answer Dean and Sam’s call, but it’s something the boys can latch on to and keep them searching for John. Whether or not they should be searching for John is another question altogether, though, but at least it got the plot going in 1x01.,

Phantom Traveler is a strong but flawed episode which builds on last week’s expansion of Dean’s character and role, as well as introducing demons and Hell into the lore. The cut scene where Dean has to remove all his concealed weapons before going into the airport really should have been kept in because it says a lot about his character, as does his sleeping with a blade under his pillow, but other than that, I’m happy to leave this episode now on a positive note.

[solar-pxwered]

A List Of Norman Reedus Movies/Shows I Have Seen And My Opinions On Them

1. The Boondock Saints

The Best. A classic. Bloody and inappropriate and if I remember my count correctly, contains 194 “fucks” or variations of it (this movie certainly illustrates the diversity of the word). Terrible Irish accents. A KICKASS soundtrack. Willem DeFoe crossdressing. Dropping toilets on people’s heads. Over the top action sequences. Cheesy dialogue. Campy as fuck. I freakin’ love it.

2. The Boondock Saints 2: All Saints Day

Some people didn’t like this one as much as the first one, and I admit that I wasn’t as fond of the new detective in this one as I was of Smecker...but, overall, I really enjoyed it and I drove 2 hours to see it in theaters. I love Romeo more than Rocco. The humor was on point. It was nice to see the original actors for Doc, Dolly, Duffy and Greenley. There was more terrible Irish accents, another KICKASS soundtrack, cheesy dialogue, over the top action sequences, still campy as fuck. I freaking love it.

3. The Walking Dead

Cannot even describe how much I love this show. I have ALWAYS loved zombie related shows and movies so this show was right up my alley from the very beginning all the way back in 2010. I watched it religiously every Sunday. I adore this roller coaster ride of a show and I especially adore Daryl, Carol and Jerry. This show has it all: Comedy, drama (hella lots of that), tragedy and triumph...and it never fails to pulls me in and hold my interest.

4. Mimic

Honestly, I saw this a LONG time ago and I hated it because...well, because I have a cockroach phobia, ok?! Don’t judge. Norman’s part was pretty small, not one of his lasting impressions on me.

5. Six Ways To Sunday

This is a weird one. It’s about an overly innocent 18 year (played by Norman) who gets involved in the Mob and develops an alter ego that’s violent and his complete opposite. There’s murder, prostitutes and good ol’ fashioned mother-son incest and it wasn’t a movie I suggest for the lighthearted or anyone with those sort of triggers. 

That being said, I watched the whole thing and didn’t hate it. It was just uncomfortable...as seems to be a theme with Norman Reedus movies.

6. Dark Harbor

This fucking movie...

Ok, so, I’ll be straight with you: I really enjoyed this dumbass movie. It had me guessing right up to the very end and it took me on a very strange ride along the way. 

If watching someone sexually feed a woman a poisonous mushroom, lots of dark eyed staring scenes or Norman Reedus making out with Alan Rickman is your thing, then go for it. 

7. Let the Devil Wear Black

It’s modern Hamlet. What else is there to say? If you like Hamlet, you’ll like this movie. If you like pre-car accident, baby face Reedus with the black hair, you’ll like this movie. I liked it.

8. 8MM

You know what the best thing about this movie is? Nicholas Cage. He steals the damn show no matter what movie he’s in and no one can even deny that fact. Norman’s part in this one is pretty small too but I liked this movie anyway because...well, Nick Cage. Enough said.

9. Bad Seed

I honestly can’t remember how this movie ends, all I remember was that it wasn’t at all how I expected it. I liked this movie because it’s a psychological thriller and that’s my most favorite genre of all time. The movie’s premise is a guy suspects his wife of having an affair and comes home one night and finds her murdered so he goes after her lover (Reedus) to try and kill him because he believes he was the one who killed her. It’s a cat and mouse chase sort of thing...now I need to rewatch it because I can’t, for the life of me, remember how it ends.

10. Gossip

Ok, no JOKE, this is the best movie I ever randomly discovered and I can’t believe how many people have never heard of it! It’s got some big names in it (Lena Headey, Norman Reedus, James Marsden and Kate Hudson to name a few).

It’s a psychological thriller/mystery drama in which three friends start a rumor at their school as a social experiment for their class. The rumor grows, however, and suddenly it’s out of their hands and spiraling out of control. People start getting hurt, reputations get dragged through the mud and then it escalates to the point of someone losing their life. The three main characters {Reedus, Headey and Marsden) try to figure out the truth behind the out of control rumors and discover more than they ever imagined, or ever wanted.

I HIGHLY recommend this movie. I really, REALLY do. The ending is one of the best twists I’ve seen in a LONG time.

11. The Beatnicks

This movie is so weird. It’s like...it’s just really weird. It revolves around two beat poets who find a magic box that somehow magically helps them get good at being poets but it’s like...an evil box and so they decide to only use it once and then get rid of it. Yeah, it’s a weird movie. Not my highest suggestion.

12. Blade II

Ok, if you’ve never seen the Blade Trilogy then I just don’t even know what to tell you. 

My favorite of the three movies, Blade 2 gives us the glorious Reedus character of Scud, the pot smoking, horrible-shirt-wearing, mechanical genius and Blade’s sidekick. Not only is he precious and adorable, the movie in all is enjoyable and has a fun rave-esque soundtrack. 

The one thing I hate? *SPOILER ALERT* Scud’s scummy betrayal.

13. Tough Luck

This is another one of those movies that I liked but it’s just so freaking weird. 

It’s a psychological drama where a down on his luck con artist, Archie (Reedus), tries to rip off a carnival worker and gets caught. As punishment, he’s hired to work at the carnival  to pay off the debt. He gets involved in a scheme to murder the owner’s wife, but falls in love with her in the process.

Things go to shit. He gets the short end of the stick. More plots and lies develop. It’s all twisted until the end and the answers fall into place.

I really like this movie, it’s one that I kept and still have my copy of. 

A word of warning though, never leave this movie on your movie shelf for your father to find and watch while you’re away at college, resulting in your mother calling you and asking you why you have such a nasty movie. Because the sex scene at the end is OUTRAGEOUS. I mean, it is the FUNNIEST fucking sex scene I have ever seen in my life and I can’t ever watch it without cringing and laughing. My mother, however, didn’t think it was funny at all and my father was too shocked to even form a sentence.

I highly suggest this trippy as hell movie.

14. Octane

Ok, to be fair, this movie is actually alright, although Norman’s character gets the shittiest death possible. I mean, imagine dying because some psycho vampire kisses you and bites your tongue out. That’s one shitty death.

But, overall, this is a good thriller. Johnathan Rhys Meyers plays the villain and he’s always pretty quality. The story is basically a teenager has a disagreement with her mom and gets picked up by this drugged up, blood sucking, vampire wannabe cult and indoctrinated joining them. Her mother joins up with a tow truck driver (Reedus) whose daughter was also kidnapped years ago and who has been hunting the cult down ever since. 

It was a cringe filled, yet interesting, movie and I didn’t hate it.

15. John Carpenter’s Cigarette Burns

This is John Carpenter....OF COURSE I liked this one. 

I won’t say what it’s about because that would ruin the story, but it’s part of an anthology and John Carpenter loved Norman’s role so much he STILL talks about it today and suggests Norman to people in the industry.

It’s a good one if you’re into horror shorts or anthologies or the genius of the legend that is John Carpenter.

16. A Crime

I had completely forgotten about this movie until I started making this post, but now that I remember...I REALLY liked this one!!

This is a pretty sad one, but it was very good and Norman’s acting in it is absolutely wonderful. His character’s wife was murdered and the suspect was never found so his neighbor, who really likes him, creates a fake culprit so that he can finally get some closure. 

This is a good one. I suggest this one if you’re in the mood for a strange sort of romance movie that has underlying thriller tones.

17. Moscow Chill

I remember watching this one, and I remember enjoying it, but I honestly can’t remember anything about it except that it’s a Russian film in which Norman plays a computer hacker who gets hired to hack into a Russian bank and gets caught and put in prison. But I honestly can’t remember what happens in detail.

If you like foreign movies with hacking and subterfuge plots, then give it a try because I do remember enjoying it while I watched.

18. Red Canyon

This one is kinda fucked up. Imagine Daryl Dixon mixed with Breaking Bad mixed with Deliverance and you’ve pretty much got the story...

A brother and sister return to their mother’s hometown to settle things and put their horrible past behind them...but upon returning they end up reliving the nightmare all over again.

It’s a good thriller/horror watch, but there are scenes of sexual violence so if that’s not something you can handle, then don’t watch this one.

19. Hero Wanted

This. Is. A. GOOD. Movie.

Cuba Gooding Jr. is the lead and he does an AMAZING job. Gooding’s character is a garbage man who falls in love with a girl who never takes any notice of him. To get her attention, he stages a heist in which he is supposed to jump in, save the day, and win the girl...only the heist turns out to be real and he is shot and the girl is also shot in the process. He sets out for revenge and gets in way over his head.

Norman’s part in this isn’t very big...but HOLY SHIT, was it impactful. His character didn’t have a lot of screen time, in comparison to a lot of other people, but he had a solid backstory and reason for being involved and MY GOD did I cry about it. This was actually the first movie of his I watched AFTER discovering Boondock Saints and it solidified my love for his acting abilities.

A very good watch. Highly suggest.

20. Messengers 2: The Scarecrow

This one is pretty ok, actually, as far as lame horror movies go. 

The plot is simple: Blonde, beardy, corn farmer Norman gets slowly driven insane by the haunted scarecrow in his field that he thinks putting up is a good idea for some damn reason. He starts to get more and more violent and rapey as time goes on until his family is forced to take up arms against him.

It’s not bad. Second part in what I THINK is a trilogy? I’ve only ever seen the first two. If you like horror movies then this one is a good watch. As I mentioned though, there is an attempted rape scene in this one so just be aware.

21: Pandorum

It’s an alien movie. Astronauts run into a species that is stronger and hungry for tasty humans. Shepard (Norman’s character) doesn’t make it out alive. If you’re not in the mood to see Norman get LITERALLY gutted or other characters get nommed by aliens, then don’t watch.

If you ARE, then go ahead and watch, because it was pretty alright.

[glass-es-say]

Are Ya Winning, Gos?

“Just don’t get hit by rocks this time, okay?”

“Gee, I never would’ve thought of that.”

“I know,” Gosalyn says solemnly. “That’s why you keep getting anvils and junk dropped on you. We really need to get you a helmet.”

Gosalyn tries to teach Drake how to play Legend of Legends Quest.

Here on Ao3

“Uhg, are you kidding me!”

Drake blinks and looks away from patching his costume back together—again. He’d had no idea how many buttons Darkwing should’ve lost when he’d watched the show as a kid. He’s already had to put in a bulk order for them.

“Ahh!” Gosalyn drops her game in her lap and scrubs her hands over her face.

“Having fun?”

Gosalyn glares at him then slouches somehow further down into the couch.  Drake makes a mental note to include some more stretches in their training routine. “I’m trying to level up my character so I can play with Launchpad and one of the Dewey’s brothers whose character is super OP but this stupid Routerrock monster just! Keeps! Killing me!”

Huh. He can honestly say he hadn’t been expecting that. “Sounds annoying.” He frowns. “They want you to level up before you can join them?”

“No, uhg, they’re both super nice about it obviously but I haven’t really had time to play since before—you know. And I don’t want to be carried!” She punches the back cushion of the couch. “I want to kill stuff myself!”

“Just what every superhero wants to hear from his sidekick,” he responds wryly, standing up and wandering over to where she’s sprawled across the couch.

Gosalyn sits up just enough to roll her eyes at him. “It’s video game, you—uhg, whatever, you probably have no idea what I’m talking about.”

“Oh?” he asks mildly, leaning his arms on the back of the couch and looking down at her. “You sure?”

“I mean, it’s—whatever, you don’t have to pretend to care, um, but. Basically, I’m trying to beat this big rock monster so my character can get stronger but there’s like, this trick to it that I just haven’t figured out yet. And it’s frustrating me. That’s all.”

“Sounds tough,” Drake says. “You must really enjoy playing to keep going after something so frustrating.”

She shrugs, looking away from him and down at the couch cushions. “I mean, it’s fun still, so.”

“Must be. Cool graphics, too. I like that ridiculously huge sword you’ve got.”

Gosalyn snorts. “Thanks. It was a quest reward.” She’s still pointedly not looking at him when she quietly says, “Do you—um, do you want to play?”

Drake blinks. “Really?”

“Well,” she starts, louder and brasher and attempting at blasé, “I’ve already died to this guy so many times not even you could screw up my character’s stats more, so.”

Drake rolls his eyes. “How reassuring.”

“But yeah, I mean. If you wanted to. I don’t mind.”

“Sure, okay,” Drake says, hurdling the couch and landing on the cushion next to Gosalyn. “Sounds like fun.”

She gives him a particular smile he’s been seeing more and more often as they get used to being around each other and he and Launchpad get to know her. It makes something warm and happy squeeze at his heart—he’s beginning to think he’d do pretty much anything to see her smile like that.

“Okay, so this is how you move around and stuff.” She makes her character spin around in a tight circle. “And these are the block and attack buttons. You can get the menu with this one, but please don’t use all my items or I’ll be very, very sad.”

“So you’re saying I should definitely use all those glowing potion things right now.”

“No!” She pushes at him. “God, you’re so annoying.”

Drake laughs and takes the controller from her. “Alright, alright, I promise not to touch them.”

She huffs and throws herself back on the couch then immediately leans back up again. “I’m out of PvP mode right now so if anyone else shows up you can just, like, ignore them. Do not chat with anyone, I—you know what, I’ll just disable that too.” She takes the controller back and navigates through the menu to toggle the chat function off.

“The amount of trust here is heartwarming,” Drake deadpans.

Gosalyn tabs down a few more rows and hesitates, then says, “I’m gonna set the camera on auto too, that’s probably a bit beyond you right now.” She clicks around, then hands the controller back over. “Okay! All set for what I’m sure is going to be a very entertaining fight.”

“Trust and confidence. I’m so touched.”

Gosalyn has left her character in a dark, narrow stone hallway. A line of torches dots the walls, dragging the player’s attention toward the glowing block of light at the end of the hall.

“So,” he asks. “Where am I going?

Gosalyn lets out a long breath. “Oh my god,” she mutters to herself. Drake makes a heroic effort and stops himself from laughing. “Okay, just keep going down the hallway. No—that’s the wrong way. Toward the light, Drake, please. This is already so painful.”

Drake does not snicker. He simply walks the character forward to the light and triggers the loading screen for the next area.

“Okay, so,” Gosalyn says as the shape of a large stone chamber renders onscreen. “There’s gonna be this big rock monster in this room—that’s who you’re fighting. He doesn’t have any minions so you can literally just focus on him and try not to get crushed.” She tilts her head. “I hope you’re better at that than you are in real life.”

“Are the continued insults really necessary?”

“Yes. Okay, see him? That’s the guy. Don’t let him—”

A giant rock fist crushes him immediately. It isn’t exactly what Drake had in mind when Gosalyn asked him if he wanted to play. He huffs.

Gosalyn hisses in sympathy. “See that—that’s not what I meant by don’t get crushed.”

Drake levels her with a glare. “I kind of gathered that, thank you.”

He taps through the character respawn loading page until it drops them back in the corridor before the monster.

“Oh, yeah, try again. Just don’t get hit by rocks this time, okay?”

“Gee, I never would’ve thought of that.”

“I know,” Gosalyn says. “That’s why you keep getting anvils and junk dropped on you.”

“That was one—that was tw—that doesn’t happen to me that often!”

“Oh, it super does,” she nods solemnly. “We really need to get you a helmet.”

“Now she’s all about helmets,” he says, moving the character forward into the battle area again. This time he darts away from the monster a couple times—but within a minute the character gets hit by not one, but two giant rock fists and the death screen pops back up.

“Yikes,” Gosalyn says. “This is just getting a little sad, actually, so maybe you can stop—"

“Wait,” Drake says, navigating his way back to the starting point. “Let me try one last time.”

“Uh, sure,” Gosalyn says. “But please don’t break my controller when you die again.”

“I won’t!” Die or break the controller, hopefully. “Look, I’ll make a bet with you. If I can beat this guy, you have to start helping me sew the buttons back on my costume.”

“And when you can’t?”

He makes a show of sighing. “We’ll get Hamburger Hippo for dinner tonight.”

She just looks at him, eyes narrowed.

“What?”

“I’m trying to decide if it would be unheroic to let you make a bet you can’t possibly win.” She squints. “Eh, I want Hamburger Hippo more than I care about that. You’re on.”

Drake restarts the character and runs forward to the boss area. Right. No item run with a mid-level character that isn’t his. Now that he’s got a handle on Gosalyn’s specific build a single Routerrock won’t pose too much of a problem. He won’t hit speed-run times, but that’s just fine.

His heart beats quickly in his chest. The payoff for pulling this off is going to be so good.

Gosalyn shifts beside him. “You know, this is kind of a hard boss so you don’t need to like, feel bad if you can’t beat it or anything. I mean, I haven’t quite managed it yet—”

The room loads and Drake immediately scales the wall. Gosalyn stills beside him.

Three minutes later and the monster is dead, stone figure dissolving away into pixels. Gosalyn’s character punches the air and starts counting up new XP.

“What.”

Drake finally lets his grin break through. “Probably would’ve been faster with those power ups you’ve got banked, but eh. Your ranged damage is actually pretty good, though, how come you haven’t tried sniping it while dodging out of its melee distance?”

“Buh—Because that’s no fun,” she says distantly. “Wait—what just happened!?”

Gosalyn’s staring between him and the game with a flat look of shock. Drake sets the controller back in her lap and leans back. “I’m a nerdy kid from the ‘90s, Gos. I’ve put more hours into Legend of Legends Quest than you’ve been alive.” He stands and stretches his arms above him. “Hope you’re excited to start sewing buttons.”

“You tricked me!” She cries, vaulting off the couch and throwing herself at his upper back. It knocks the wind out of him and they both go tumbling to the floor.

Drake groans into the rug. Ow. At least Gosalyn had something to cushion her fall.

“You Legend Quest sharked me! Liar!”

Drake wheezes face down onto the floor. “Oh my god, Gos, I’m not LP you can’t just —”

“Stop whining, you’re fine,” she says, but she jumps off of his back and scurries around to kneel by his head instead. “Or you will be until it gets out that Darkwing Duck himself is a scam artist. A con man. A frivolous fraud who lies to innocent children—”

Drake sits up with a groan, rotating his shoulder. “You really want that burger, huh.”

She sniffs. “What I want is for my hero to be a good role model. And yet,” she sighs dramatically, “I am let down. Literally.”

“Again,” Drake says, “I am neither LP nor a climbing wall.”

Gosalyn rolls her eyes and drops down to sit beside him. She doesn’t look at him, just bites her lip and fiddles with the string of her sweatshirt. Drake rubs shoulder and watches her with growing curiosity.

“Uh, you know, there’s a local multiplayer now,” she half-mumbles to the floor. “If you wanted to play again, or whatever.”

Drake swallows around the warmth spreading through his chest. “Would you—do you want to?”

Gosalyn gives a kind of half-shrug. “You know. It could be fun.”

He can’t help the stupid smile that spreads across his face. “I’d like that a lot,” he says, rolling to his feet and reaching down to help Gosalyn back upright. “Let me get my account code so I can log in as my main.”

She gasps and punches his arm. “You have a main? You know what main means? You are such a cheater!” She shakes her head with mock solemnity. “You’re a terrible influence on a growing young mind.”

Drake chuckles and rubs his arm. “Alright, we’ll get Hamburger Hippo. But only tonight! And you still have to help me resew buttons.”

She narrows her eyes at him. “Do you know how to get the Lightning Longbow?”

“Yeah?”

“Alright. Deal accepted.”

*

"...Your character is basically just Darkwing."

"I don't know why you're in any way surprised."

“God, you’re the lamest superhero ever. Even Gizmoduck is cooler.”

“Hey!”

*

Friend request received from GosaWin

 Friend request accepted

[onebizarrekai]

Meme Waker: That Final Thing

okay aight here we go here’s the big idea compilation you’ve all been waiting for or something like that

since I’ve finally accepted meme waker’s inevitable fate, I’ll share what I’ve had laying around about it. prepare yourself for a wild ride.

first of all, what existed of the planned character key:

Nightmare = Link Dream = Aryll Cross = Tetra Ink = The Entire Pirate Crew Granny Gertrude = Grandma Horror = Quill Killer = Medli Color = Komali Dust = Makar XGaster = Tingle (yes, you read that right) Fresh = Fado (?) Geno = Laruto Blueberry = Niko Error = Ganondorf Giant Flying Chicken = Helmaroc King Core Frisk = The King XChara = Zelda

So XChara was going to fill the role of Zelda–basically, what was going to happen was that when Cross and Nightmare reached sunken Hyrule, which was replaced by the Omega Timeline, they encountered Core Frisk and with their magical Core Frisk powers that apparently exist, separated XChara from Cross’s body. Because Error was hunting him down for whatever villainous reasons (I dunno, maybe he wanted to find Overwrite or something), XChara was going to spend the near remainder of the comic hiding in the Omega Timeline from Error. It was a pretty neat reference to the fact that Error doesn’t know where the OT is.

Unsurprisingly, considering when I was working on this, Nightmare and Cross may have eventually started dating. They were going to kiss during a fight that involved them accidentally rolling down a hill and then likely spend the remainder of the comic referring to each other as boyfriends, with no further indication of romance between them. I never really mentally decided whether I was actually going to incorporate this or not.

In moments where someone needed to present a musical instrument, Cross was going to play a keytar.

There is a very high chance that the entire comic was going to end up being an elaborate prank set up by Ink and Error.

After being rescued from the Forsaken Fortress, Dream was going to get crossbows and… I dunno, maybe be useful with them sometimes. One consideration was that he was going to complain about being stuck in a glorified retirement home and request joining the party.

Nightmare was going to have a fake ID with the name “Nathaniel Meyer” on it.

When Nightmare eventually pulled up the Gaster Sword, he was basically going to do a magical girl transformation and get a new outfit. I was considering holding a contest where people would submit new designs for Nightmare before I realized that I may have wanted to do it myself. Meanwhile, Cross’s design change at the same time was going to pertain to the fact that he had such a hard time with his uniform that he just wanted to start wearing normal clothes.

When XChara was separated from Cross, it would indicate that Cross can’t use the hack knife anymore, so I had to think of a new weapon for him. I considered giving him arm mounts with knives in them for no reason other than being extra, but I was probably just going to end up going with a regular sword.

Nightmare and Cross were going to be mistaken for missionaries at some point due to Nightmare introducing Cross as his ‘companion’.

Nightmare’s fake ID is actually a driver’s license. Cross questions how he could get one when he’s only fifteen, and Nightmare responds with “what can I say? I live in the country.”

The Giant Flying Chicken was going to evolve into the Cyborg Giant Flying Chicken before Nightmare and Cross fought it. It was already a robot, but someone decided it would be fun to make it look more robotic for some reason. Maybe too many people tried to eat it.

Because Blueberry was going to replace Niko, that meant there was going to be a form of challenge that he would present to Nightmare and/or Cross. They were probably just going to play Dance Dance Revolution.

The dress that Granny Gertrude gave Nightmare was actually going to be infused with magical powers. Either Nightmare could only access the power of the Triforce when he’s wearing the dress, or it was going to be a piece of equipment that turned his sword into a fire sword.

Nightmare was going to come back to the Village of Old People to see that his grandmother had conquered it with capitalism.

Dragon Roost Cavern was going to be replaced with a Pokemon gym.

When Nightmare supposedly kicked Error’s ass at the end of the story, he was going to say something along the lines of “Because fuck you!” and it would be the first and only f-bomb in the whole comic. Nightmare would proceed to say that it was the first time he’d ever said fuck and that he felt dirty.

The Triforce of Courage was just going to be called the Triforce of Porridge for exactly zero reason.

Some incarnation of Buffmare was going to exist in the comic, but only in a sequence taking place in Nightmare’s imagination.

When Cross realized his backpack was missing, it was because I realized his backpack was missing. I forgot to draw it. I decided that the backpack actually fused with him to create a Zelda-style magic pocket.

Nightmare was going to try to control a seagull with the command melody, but he was accidentally going to start controlling Cross instead and make him run into a tree.

The Tree Spirit was going to hold official interviews for placeholder guardians in Dream and Nightmare’s absence. These placeholder guardians were going to be Neil, the overenthusiastic French furry, and Ccino, the local emo kid who is absolutely done with everyone’s bullshit, and exclusively because they were the only ones who applied for the job. Neil was going to have an ulterior motive of becoming Gaston’s successor.

Neil and Ccino were eventually going to ‘get together’, if you can even call it that, and for no other reason than shitpost reasons.

Nightmare may have had a showdown with the Giant Flying Chicken while riding the Great Charizard from Dragon Roost.

Another possible concept for whole story was that it was a bad self insert fic written by a younger version of Nightmare, but it’s really unlikely that I would’ve gone through with that.

Nightmare and Cross may have needed to go on a fetch quest to find Ink’s brush in the ocean because they accidentally lost it, but honestly that would’ve served nothing for the progression of the story. Because XGaster put a tracker on Ink’s brush, they were going to have to enlist his help.

and that about wraps up my notes, now let me throw what I had sitting around of a script draft–reading this was a trip because I forgot that literally 60% of it existed:

(inside the mountain)

Cross: holy shoe, EVERYONE has wings? how is this a thing??

Cross: I’m frickin jealous

Chief: Oh. You must be. Those guys.

Horror: yeah man, I enlisted their help to capture the Chicken Terror, but then they were all like yo, it’s a robot!


Chief: horror robot or not I told you that we weren’t going to capture the chicken terror for food because we’re not cannibals we don’t eat birds

Horror: but

Horror: we’re hardly even birds!

Chief: you know your job Horror. now get back to work. your actual work.

Horror: But… being the mailman sucks!


Chief: Do I need to confiscate your axe again?


Horror: OKAY FINE. I’M GOING. (flies away in a huff)

Chief: AND DO YOUR GODFORSAKEN LAUNDRY!

Chief: I apologize for that… so, how can I help you two today?


Nightmare: You guys have like, some pearl thing or something? We need to like, collect three of them in order to… save the multiverse… or something like that.

(Camera dramatically darkens.)

Chief: It’s just as the prophecy foretold…

Nightmare: oh god what

Chief: You see, young whippersnappers… legend tells of a great hero that would rise up and save a bunch of people in times of desperation that they don’t even realize are desperate. the great hero would travel far and wide in search of the Pearls of Shiny to finally retrieve a great weapon that he would use to strike down the evil that few knew existed. also the hero would have a sidekick wearing stupid clothes.

Cross: EXCUSE ME

Chief: THAT’S JUST WHAT THE PROPHECY SAID

Nightmare: okay, y’know, I’m just gonna roll with it. where can I get the pearl?

Chief: Well… that’s where the hard part comes in. You see, the pearl belongs to my son… but he’s been acting like an edgy teenager lately.

Nightmare: Great…

Cross: Is there a reason he’s being edgy? Maybe there’s something we can do to appease his hormones.

Cross: Free food works like a charm for me.

Chief: No, it’s more complicated than that. When one of our people becomes of age, they climb to the top of Charizard Island to receive a scale from the Great Charizard that will allow them to grow wings.

Nightmare: the… great charizard.

Chief: But lately, the Great Charizard has been throwing inexplicable temper tantrums. No one can get close to him anymore. And with my son being of age, he’s decently pissed off about this.

Chief: We’re thinking that the Great Charizard is displeased about something, and it is also causing our shortage of food.

Nightmare: Wait, you worship something named after a Pokemon?


Chief: Anyway, perhaps you two will be able to talk some sense into my son. Maybe he just wants to talk to someone his age that isn’t Horror or Killer.

Nightmare: What kind of names are those?


Chief: There’s a letter that I wanted my son to read, and I’ve given it to Killer to hold onto. You can go get it from him upstairs in the first room near the stairs, just tell him I sent you. He’s the little guy in the short shorts, you’ll probably recognize him when you see him.

Nightmare: Can’t you just call him here?


Chief: No, it is of upmost importance that you experience a basic fetch quest in order to become a great hero, because those fetch quests will become needlessly complicated before you even realize it.

Nightmare: ?????

Nightmare: I can’t even tell if you’re joking or not–

Cross: dude let’s just go get the letter

(scene transition)

(Killer dramatically turns around and it zooms in and says his name SSB style)

Nightmare: Wait, why do you get a dramatic introduction?


Killer: Dayum. New faces.

Nightmare: Why is everyone ignoring my questions??

Killer: (needlessly sensual voice) So, what brings you here? (walking closer)


Nightmare: (backs into wall) NO BUENO

Cross: You have a letter or something?


Killer: Oh. Yeah. Chief gave it to me for some reason. Yo, catch.

(He chucks it like a ninja star. Cross catches it between his hands in front of his face.)


Killer: Ey! You actually caught it!


Cross: I’m a trained ninja.

Killer: So like, who are you guys?

Cross: I’m Cross. He’s Larry.

Nightmare: NIGHTMARE. MY NAME IS NIGHTMARE.

Killer: Aw man, I know the feel of having a really lame name and wanting one that’s cooler.

Nightmare: No. Like. My name is actually Nightmare. My senile grandma called me Larry earlier today and this loser picked up on it.

Killer: There’s no need to lie. I understand.

Nightmare: I’M NOT LYING!

Killer: anyway make sure you get that letter to Color there’s something I have to do–

(Killer zips out the door behind them.)


Cross: what even the frick?


Nightmare: that guy freaks me the frick out.

Nightmare: literally. I felt like he was coming onto me.

Cross: you’re imagining things.

(SCENE TRANSITION)
 Cross: all right Nightmare I literally do not trust your ability to communicate with another person in a way that will make them feel inclined to give us something so just let me handle this okay

Cross: okay better yet wait outside the room

(Nightmare makes a less than amused face.)


Cross: it’s for the greater good

(Cross walks into the room.)

Cross: hi my name is Cross and

Color: LEAVE

(Cross immediately exits the room.)

Cross: this is a lost causeNightmare: what

Cross: go make him bleed with your words

Nightmare: dude isn’t this the part where we give him the frickin letter

Cross: (pauses) :o

Cross: OH RIGHT

(Cross takes the letter and goes back into the room, leaving the door open)

Cross: oh yeah this letter is for you it’s from your dad or something

Color: Oh, wow. Can’t even be bothered to talk to me in person.

Color: Give me that thing.

(Color stares at the letter. It’s actually a letter from Killer filled with really bad pickup lines and other really creepy compliments.)

Color: What the hell, you said this was from my dad!

Cross: We thought it was–??

(Killer teleports in behind them, scaring the shit out of Nightmare)


Killer: Suuuup~

Color: Killer I swear to god.

Killer: Here’s the actual letter, though you might not be happy with it.

(He flings it at Color and it lands in front of him. He reads it over, rolls his eyes and throws it in the trash.)

Cross: So uh… I don’t know what the letter says but apparently we’re prophesied heroes collecting a bunch of pearls to save the multiverse and the pearl you have is–


Color: Can everyone just get out of my room already?

(everyone just leaves)

Nightmare: What even was the point of that stupid fetch quest?

Killer: Oh yeah, can you guys help me with something? Just a smalllll favor. And I can’t ask anyone else because I’m not supposed to do it.

Killer: I need some strong, reliable people…

Nightmare: Don’t touch me.

Killer: It’s just a small favor! And I mean actually small, it’ll take like two minutes.

Nightmare: I have doubts about this.

Killer: Great! Meet me out back by the spring.

Nightmare: Wait which side is the back–

(Killer is gone)

Nightmare: Cross which side is the back.

Cross: I don’t know??

(after spending twenty minutes going through the various exits trying to figure out how to get there)

Killer: What the hell took you so long.

Nightmare: Directions would’ve been helpful. There wasn’t even a freaking map anywhere in there!

Killer: The hollow is like the size of a middle class house! How difficult could it be to find out where to go?!

Nightmare: IT’S A DOME THERE IS NO BACK

Cross: OKAY, what matters is that we’re here, what the heck do we do now.

Killer: Okay, okay. (steps backwards) Look, if you look around here, it’s all a dried up spring. The Great Charizard was throwing a tantrum, a boulder fell down and it coincidentally plugged up the spring for the third time this week, which is literally our main source of fresh water. I’m honestly getting sick of this so I’m going to climb the mountain and see what’s going on because everyone else is too scared to do it.

Nightmare: God. You’re not gonna make us go with you, are you?


Killer: Oh, no way. I just need you to throw me up that cliff over there so I can get into the cavern that leads up the mountain.

Nightmare: Can’t you fly?

Killer: Not thirty feet straight up. Do these noodle arms look like they can manage that?


Nightmare: Whatever. But quick question. How the hell does one throw a person.

Killer: I weigh like fifty pounds. It shouldn’t be that hard. Also, if you’ve noticed, the wind is rapidly changing directions, so you’ll probably have the best effect throwing me when the wind is blowing that way.

Nightmare: Mhmm. Sure. Let’s just get this over with.

(Nightmare crouches down and Killer fuckin walks onto his shoulders)

Nightmare: Hey! Watch it!

(some way or another he throws Killer and Killer barely makes it to the cliff, face planting into the ground)

Nightmare: Well I guess that worked.

Killer: THAT WAS TERRIBLE!

Nightmare: YOU’RE WELCOME! COULD’VE JUST USED A DAMN LADDER!

Killer: NOBODY OWNS A LADDER HERE BECAUSE EVERYONE CAN FLY!

Nightmare: Then how the frick do people get up this cliff?!

Killer: THERE’S NORMALLY A BRIDGE BUT IT BROKE AND PROBLEMS LIKE THESE ARE PRECISELY WHY I’M CLIMBING THE MOUNTAIN TO BEGIN WITH! ALSO I’M LEAVING BYE. (turns and leaves)

(cricket cricket)

Cross: Nightmare we should probably follow him.

Nightmare: No.

Cross: What else do we have to do. We solve their problem, Color can get his wings and then he stops being emo and gives us the pearl out of the goodness of his heart.

Nightmare: I’m not risking my life for this! If that guy is willing to do it himself I’m going to let him do it!

Cross: Dude, look at that guy. He looks about at capable fixing whatever the problem is as Ink is at providing emotional support. If this happens to be anything like a video game, we’re the only ones capable of solving anything. Besides, what else are we supposed to do? Hang around and wait for something to happen?

Nightmare: All right, fine. But how are we supposed to do something? It’s not like we can climb up a thirty foot cliff.

Cross: No, but we can swim, right?Nightmare: What?

(Cross draws a line around the rock covering the spring. It dematerializes into red squares and water starts to spew out of the spring. They both run back towards the side and climb up the cliff they came from)

Nightmare: Dude, what the hell was that?

Cross: I can draw lines around things with my sword and they do that and go away.

Nightmare: … do they go somewhere?


Cross: I dunno.

(Meanwhile in Xtale, a boulder slams into the floor and almost crushes Fresh because of course he’s there)

(The spring fills up)


Nightmare: You know I’m starting to have second thoughts about this swimming thing seeing as how I’ve never actually–(Cross kicks him into the water)


(LATER)


Nightmare: YOU ASSHOLE I ALMOST DROWNED

Cross: You’re exaggerating.

Random Dude: STOP RIGHT THERE!


Nightmare: who.

Random Dude: YOU AREN’T GOIN ONE STEP PAST THIS POINT! YOU’RE LIGHT YEARS FROM FACING BROCK!

(nightmare squints)

(comic suddenly goes into a battle sequence)

Nightmare: whoa whoa what the hell is happening

Cross: oh my god it’s pokemon NIGHTMARE IT’S POKEMON

Nightmare: I DON’T HAVE ANY POKEMON CROSS THREATEN HIM

(Random Dude sent out MEWTWO)

Cross: DEAR GOD

Cross: LISTEN THERE’S A HUGE MISUNDERSTANDING WE’RE NOT TRAINERS WE DON’T HAVE POKEMON

Random Dude: tHEN WHY ARE YOU IN A POKEMON GYM HUH

Cross: Uh… touring?

Random Dude: OH

Random Dude: I SEE

(The Random Dude returns his Mewtwo.)

Random Dude: THERE HAS BEEN AN UNFORTUNATE MISUNDERSTANDING

Cross: Say uh, you didn’t happen to see a scrawny dude with wings pass through here, did you?

Random Dude: Oh yeah, he went into the next room and took the elevator to the top.

(silence)


Nightmare: Why are there always elevators.

(two seconds later, they reach the elevator and there’s a dude standing in front of it)


Nightmare: um excuse me we need to use the elevator

Dude: oh man I can’t find my glasses anywhere what do I do

Nightmare: excuse me I said move

Dude: oh man I can’t find my glasses anywhere what do I do

Nightmare: HELLO

Dude: oh man I can’t find my glasses anywhere what do I do

Nightmare: MOVE ASSHOLE

Cross: I think it’s a preprogrammed NPC.

Nightmare: UAGGGGHHHHH

(Nightmare throws himself into the person, but he slams into the STEEL WALL OF NPC)

Nightmare: CROSS TELEPORT HIM AWAY

Cross: wait are you serious what if that freakin kills him I don’t know where these things go

Nightmare: YOU SAID IT YOURSELF HE’S AN NPC

(Cross shrugs. He draws a line around the NPC and the NPC disappears)

(one elevator ride later)

Nightmare: (chokes) oh god

Nightmare: the altitude

Cross: nightmare this island is still lower than ink’s house.

Nightmare: PSYCHOLOGICAL ALTITUDE

(fwip)

Cross: Oh look, it’s that guy from earlier.

Nightmare: Got captured somehow. Why am I not surprised?

Killer: YOU KNOW WHAT SCREW YOU GUYS

(A really buff guy abruptly slams into the ground)

Buff Guy: FEAR MY WRATH, FOR I AM BROCK! LEADER OF ALL THINGS ROCK HARD

Nightmare: Look man, we really don’t have time for this, just let the shota hoe go, we’re just checking up on the huge-ass Charizard up there.

Killer: excuse me

Brock: I AM THE LOYAL GUARDIAN OF THE GREAT CHARIZARD! You can only pass if you defeat me!


Cross: what the hell is even happening anymore

(Loud gym battle music as the gate at the entrance of the clearing slams shut)

Nightmare: LOOK WE’VE BEEN OVER THIS WE DON’T HAVE ANY POKEMON

(Brock war cries as he sends out a very anime geodude)

Nightmare: can someone please tell me I’m hallucinating all of this

Brock: WELL, IF YOU DON’T HAVE POKEMON, YOU’LL HAVE TO USE A RENTAL

Cross: What? But rental pokemon always suck.

Brock: YOU MUST PROVE YOUR WORTH SOMEHOW! AND BECAUSE YOU’RE SMALL CHILDREN YOU OBVIOUSLY CAN’T PROVE IT THROUGH SUMO WRESTLING.

Nightmare: I’m fifteen!

Cross: Nightmare I think you’re missing the point.

Killer: Good god, just let them through and let me out of here, they’re the heroes of prophecy.

Brock: PROPHECY

Brock: GOODNESS ME I APOLOGIZE FOR THAT

(Brock returns his geodude)

Brock: YOU SHOULD HAVE SAID SOMETHING

Nightmare: That would have worked?

Brock: BUT! IF YOU WANT TO FREE THIS TINY FELLOW HERE, YOU MUST COMPLETE A DIFFERENT CHALLENGE! FOR YOU SEE, HE TRIED TO PASS THROUGH HERE WITHOUT WRITTEN PERMISSION!


(Killer rolls his eyes. Nightmare squints, literally pulling a notebook out of his shirt. He writes something in it, walking up to Brock and holding it up. It says “Let the guy out of jail you dick”)

Brock: AHA

Brock: WELL

Brock: I CAN’T ARGUE WITH THAT

(He stomps his foot on the ground and the bars in front of Killer go up)

Brock: DON’T BE CAUSING TROUBLE NOW KIDS


(He ascends back into the sky)


Cross: I’m not even going to ask. That entire conversation felt like a drug trip.

(Killer dramatically throws himself onto Nightmare)


Killer: I knew you would come around, my knight in–

Nightmare: Why did I assume that you had become any less creepy in the last ten minutes. Why did I even do that?


Killer: Because your heart told you to.

Nightmare: Dear god stop touching me or I will literally pick you up and slam you into the floor.

Killer: Feisty. Anyway, I figured out why the Great Charizard is freaking out all the time. His tail is hanging down into the room below him and something is chewing on it like all the time.

Cross: What? Then why doesn’t it just, I dunno, pull its freaking tail out of the room like a reasonable creature? Or maybe take care of the problem on its own?

Killer: The Great Charizard is like a five year-old. It’s self aware, but it expects all of its problems to be solved by everyone else and throws tantrums when that doesn’t happen.

Nightmare: Well that’s stupid. Why does everyone act like it’s some holy being then?

Killer: Because it’s a massive, terrifying dragon that can breathe fire?

ok unfortunately this is where the script ends but I hope you enjoyed that

oh yeah, and some extremely old art that I found:

as well as a brief consideration to make the characters human before deciding that I just didn’t want to work on the comic anymore.

basically you will notice that most of this doesn’t have a solid outline, and you’d be right: I never actually planned it that meticulously. I mostly just winged it and threw stuff in over the course of time and never even really planned anything close to a definitive ending beyond “maybe it was a prank”. sorry if this is like… anticlimactic, but it’s all I could find!