#because there's so much they're not telling you and never will

[heavysighing-dreamyeyes]

Trinkets

Five presents Jason brought you back from his adventures and one you asked for. (+ one) ~1.2k words of fluff

Jason Todd brings you home gifts from his missions, which wouldn't be a problem, but he never really explains what they are.

The first time it happened, you had laughed at the green ring with a lantern symbol in the middle. It looked cheesy, like one of the fake ones you can buy from the superhero merch stores littered around malls and outlets.

You'd kissed his cheek in thanks, put it on your shelf, and never gave it a second thought.

At least you didn't, until a bright green glow woke you up from your sleep. You'd sat up immediately, jaw practically dropping to the sheets as the ring lifted itself off your shelf and flew out the window.

Jason barely budged, his arm still thrown over your waist. He let out yawn and cuddled closer before speaking, voice groggy and heavy, "Huh. Didn't think they noticed that one was gone."

"They," You half yell, voice pitching as you stare at his outline, hidden in the shadows of the room.

"The Guardians, babe," he yawns out, "They're in charge of the space cops. Just go back to sleep."

Naturally, you do not go back to sleep. You drag him to the kitchen, make tea, and demand he explains why a Green Lantern ring was in your apartment. (He's very happy to)

The second time it happens, you're much more wary of the gift he brings home. But to be fair, he can't really pass off an Amazonian steel sword as something he just picked up.

It doesn't take as much convincing as it should for you to let him mount it on your wall. But it's a sword! No one can blame you for thinking it looks cool in your living room.

It turns out keeping it around is pretty useful, because a few weeks later, your boyfriend crawls through your window, dressed head to toe in armor.

"Hey, doll," he drawls, "Can I borrow your sword?"

"Sure," You chirp back, more preoccupied with your book as he saunters over to the sword, "what for?"

"Artie's got confiscated, and we haven't gotten to steal it back yet," he supplies, stopping long enough to pull his helmet up and kiss your head.

"Oh, that sucks," You answer, offhandedly, "Give her and Bizzaro my love."

"You got it, babe," he chirps already halfway out your window.

He does bring your sword back, covered in green blood, but no worse for wear. It still looks great on your wall.

He brings you a box next. It's kind of ugly looking, but you thank him nonetheless.

"Be careful with it," he tells you as you flip it over in your hands, "It opens boom tubes."

You almost drop it, and if you hadn't already experienced the power ring, you would have shrieked at him. Instead, you manage to put it down very carefully and calmly ask, "It does what?"

"Open boom tubes," he answers, which clears absolutely nothing up, "I figured we could use it to country hop for our next date night. You know, dinner in Paris, drinks in Dubai, dessert in LA."

"Okay," You answer slowly, as if that makes complete sense.

It turns out, it does. Date night is lovely, and making out with your boyfriend on a random beach in Spain is very, very nice.

Batman waiting in your apartment to take back the boom box isn't so nice, though.

Jason tells you it was worth it. He's absolutely right.

The third thing Jason brings you is a plant. Flowers aren't a rare show of affection from him, but ones that move are.

"Uh, thank you, Jason," You start, prodding at the moving petals, they nuzzle your fingers the same way a kitten would, "But I don't know how to take care of these."

"Same way you take care of any other plant, water, fertilizer, nutrients, all that fun stuff," he says fondly, stroking a few of the petals.

"What if it gets sick," You ask, uncertain.

"We'll call Ivy," he says, unbothered.

"Right. Ivy. Poison Ivy. Who you know," You mumble, but the little plant is already worming its way into your heart. (You affectionately name it Daisy, for no other reason then it sways happily when you say that name)

The fourth thing Jason brings you makes you laugh because you know exactly what it is, "Jason, we can't keep this."

"Why not," he pleads, shaking the bright green quiver filled with arrows at you.

You giggled harder, smiling wide as you shake your head at him, "We don't even know what those do. Don't some of those explode?"

"So what," he huffs, practically pouting, "We can ask Roy. And it's not like I don't know my way around explosives."

"I guess so," You relent, trying to stifle your laughs as you inspect the bright green arrows, "How did you even get this?"

His eyes light up mischievously, "Do you really want to know?"

You stop short and narrow your eyes at him, "I would lose my plausible deniability."

"But you wanna know," he says, sly and playful.

You do. (It involves mutated chickens, tar, and one distracted Oliver Queen. You hang the quiver next to the sword)

Jason's getting ready to leave, bags packed and helmet lazy held under his arm, "Can I bring you back anything specific, doll" he asks, his free hand resting comfortably against your cheek, "Lasso of Truth? Maybe something with magic?"

You grin at him, leaning into his touch, "I actually do have something in mind."

"Oh," he prompts, eyes glinting with excitement.

"I want to complete my batarang collection."

He falters, "Your– what?"

"No one has," You exclaim, pulling away to showcase your collection, "I have Nightwings, Batgirls, Batmans, yours, of course, one of Robin's. But I'm missing Spoilers, Batwomans, Signals, and Red Robins."

He blinks at you, "That's– if that's what you want."

You giggle at how dumbfounded he looks, practically bouncing back over to him to kiss him, "Thank you, Jason."

He catches your waist and pulls you back in for another, longer kiss that leaves you both breathless and panting. His voice lowers, like it's a secret, "I'll bring you back some batarangs. See you in a few days?"

"See you in a few days," You echo, and he winks at you as he tugs on his helmet, leaving out your window.

Sure enough, you get your batarangs when he gets home. It takes some convincing, a few kisses that leave you senseless, but you get Jason to help you mount your batarang collection alongside the sword and quiver.

"I should get you a plasma rifle next," he drawls, admiring your growing wall of weapons.

"I think I'd fall over if I tried to shoot one of those," You point out, all smiles.

"I'll teach you," he tells you, hooking an arm around your waist to draw you closer.

Jason's a man of his word, and sure enough, he brings you home a plasma cannon after his next mission.

You only destroy most of the shooting range in the batcave when he lets you try it out.

[pellucid-constellations]

I'd Answer

You've been gone. Azriel's been broken. Something has to change, and Azriel would do anything.

Part 2 of If You Cared to Ask

“This is for you,” Mor huffed, plopping down a small bouquet of roses onto the growing garden that seemed to have sprouted on the table. “What is that, number twelve?” 

“I don’t know, I don’t count them,” you brushed off, your gaze falling on the gifts for a fleeting moment.

Mor hummed. “Are they doing anything for you?” 

“Not particularly.” 

Your friend shuffled into the small sitting room and gracefully landed in the chair beside yours, her eyes piercing a hole in the side of your head when you refused to look up. She sighed, and then sighed again, making a show of slotting her chin in her palm and looking forlorn. 

The third sigh was your breaking point. 

You placed your book on the table and turned to Mor with your brows raised. “Yes?” 

“Oh, nothing,” she airily replied. “I was just wondering when you were going to give this up. You don’t have to forgive the guy, but at least put me out of my misery and let me tell him where you’re staying. I’m basically a delivery service at this point. He says sorry again, by the way.” 

“Oh, well in that case—” 

“More than just sorry, but I can’t remember everything he said. It was all rambly and his face was all gaunt.” Mor pressed her fingers up to cover her eyes. “I’m not even sure if he’s eating. Rhys had to stop sending him out because he almost fell out of the sky.”

“Is this supposed to make me feel bad?”

You hoped your ruse was believable because hearing that Azriel was doing so poorly did make you feel bad. Your heart lept up to your throat at the prospect of your mate falling from the sky from exhaustion. But he had had so many opportunities to make this right and you weren’t about to give up your anger so easily. 

Mor offered a sad expression that looked authentic this time. “Y/n, he loves you. He’s an idiot and the whole lot of them are mindless fools, but Azriel has never loved anything the way he loves you.” 

“Yeah, I’m sure,” you snorted. “And he shows that love by forgetting me and then arguing when I’m clearly upset over it?” 

“I know. He told me how much of an ass he’s been. But, I promise you, I’ve known Azriel for a long time. He was just—just handling everything with Rhys poorly. He felt so so guilty when Rhys got trapped. You know that.” 

You bit the inside of your cheek and avoided Mor’s gaze. “I know.” 

The lack of vitriol in your tone had Mor perking up. “And you remember how hard he tried to get him back—how broken he was when Rhys sent out his last message. Az feels responsible for everything when it comes to his family.”

You didn’t need the reminder. The tortured way he carried himself over the past 50 years was evidence enough of the truth behind Mor’s words. And you had been there to soothe that pain, to help run the court that Rhys left behind. 

When silence persisted, Mor craned her neck to catch your gaze. “I’m not saying what he did was right, but you know he’s been in overdrive since Rhys returned. He goes off on those missions when Rhys calls, but… y/n, he only leaves without notice when his informants…” 

Mor trailed off. 

Your gaze finally flickered up. “When?” 

Mor bit her lip and winced. “He told me not to tell you this part. He said he didn’t want you to think he was making excuses.” 

“Tell me anyways.” 

“Fine. But you can’t rat me out.” Mor sighed and leaned back in the chair, still facing you. “He does go on every mission Rhys proposes, and that’s… stupid, but he tells you about those ones, I think. When he just up and leaves, it’s because—y/n, it’s because they're about you. You know there’s a slew of people that want you dead for your involvement up in Illyria. He has a team of informants with the sole purpose of listening for you name.

“He goes on Rhys’s missions because he doesn’t want his family separated again, but sometimes, it’s because he just wants to protect his mate.” 

A stone dropped past your ribs and into your stomach. “But, he never told me—” 

“You know these overgrown bats think that suffering in silence is an honorable thing to do,” Mor rolled her eyes. “They overwork themselves fighting the good fight or whatever and seem to forget that the rest of the world is still out there, facing the consequences of their actions. And… I think he just wanted you to feel safe. I think he’s been scared.” 

Something sickly climbed its way up your consciousness. You looked down at your hands as they rested in your lap. 

You hadn’t seen Azriel in six days, and each day had more anger coursing through you, building up a wall that you thought impenetrable. Because you were so angry; Azriel had disappointed you time and time again, left you feeling abandoned and alone, and then he got defensive about it as if you were the one at fault. 

Part of you always knew it was a defense of some sort, but you had thought it a defense of something nefarious. You had tossed around the idea of infidelity a few times, and that rivaled the thought of him simply falling out of love with you. 

But it was this. 

It was him hiding how hard he’d been trying to protect you—however idiotic his tactics may have been. 

“You can tell him where I am,” you murmured clenching your fingers into your palm. “And leave the door unlocked, I guess.” 

Mor had left the small apartment on the outskirts of Velaris before you finished your sentence. 

It took approximately 7 minutes for a tentative knock to sound at your door. 

Mor had left it unlocked, but there was still a knock. 

You took a glance at the pile of flowers on the table before heading to the front door. The old floorboards creaked under your feet, a reminder of the rundown apartment you had sought out after you left. It was a frantic process, searching for a place to stay; you hadn’t cared much for luxury or comfort.  

Opening the door was jarring. Azriel’s wings were half-raised as if he’d just flown down and then forgot how to control them. His face was pallid with dark smudges beneath his eyes. His hair was windswept, expected from the flight, but it looked tugged at and disheveled beyond that. 

“Hi.” 

Maybe you’d been looking him over too long because Azriel’s voice cracked at the single word. He sounded unsure, verging on afraid, and all you had done was pass over his figure with your eyes. 

You tightened your grip on the door handle. “Um, hi.” Your tone was harsher than you meant it to be. 

Azriel flinched. “I’m sorry, Mor said…” 

“No, I—Come in.” 

You stepped back and pushed the door open to accommodate his hesitant steps into your rental. Azriel stood in the middle of the space and wrung his hands as you shuffled behind him, a slight tremor showing in his fingers. You leaned back against the door with your own hands pressed at the small of your back. You watched Azriel’s lingering gaze trail over the flowers in the corner of the room. 

“You didn’t like them?” he meekly asked. 

Something inside of you hurt. 

“They were okay,” you answered. “But I didn’t want flowers.” 

Azriel nodded and his lashes fluttered shut. His hands twitched. 

“I’m sorry—for the flowers, I mean. They were a pathetic reason to send Mor to you. You wanted to be left alone.” 

“I did not want to be left alone, Azriel.” You kicked away from the door, bringing your arms across your chest for some form of protection. “I wanted you. I wanted you to care about me.”

“I do,” Azriel stressed. He took a step forward and the wood beneath his boot creaked. “I do, y/n.  I care about you more than anything—I love you.” 

“Then why couldn’t you show me? Why did it take me leaving, me getting hurt, for you to finally listen to me and see how much I’ve needed you?” 

Your chest was heaving, each word from your lips a choked gasp. Azriel took all of it and absorbed your full meaning, seeming to wince at every insinuation that he didn’t love you. His jaw quivered and he opened his mouth to speak, but nothing came out. 

“Why did you stop talking to me?” you asked, a broken rendition of your anger. “Why—Mor told me… She told me things. Things that make sense. But why does it feel like I don’t matter to you?” 

“My love,” Azriel stressed. Yearned. He rushed forward, abandoning all reservations and gathering you into his arms as tears began making headway down your cheeks. “I’m so sorry, baby. I can’t—I’m so so sorry.” His words were almost lost against your temple as he held you, each apology a whisper of a kiss against your skin. 

“You weren’t there and Devlon—he—” 

“I know, angel, I know and I’m so sorry. Had I known… Had I listened.” He pulled you back from his chest, crouching down to meet your eye and wiping tears from your cheeks. “All I’ve ever wanted to do was keep you safe. I thought I was doing that. I don’t know what Mor told you—” 

“She told me everything. She told me you’ve been following leads about me and taking on too much. She told me you’re scared.” 

Azriel breathed and it sounded anguished. “I am terrified. We lost Rhysand and now you are in the throes of a society that almost killed me. I—I wake up every morning and everything is good and I am so afraid to lose that. I thought I was protecting you, protecting us. But I almost lost you and—” 

You let out a breathy cry. “You could never lose me, Azriel.” 

He pressed his forehead to yours, the wetness of his cheeks now apparent. Azriel’s hands were firm on either side of your head and his fingers laced up into your hair. 

Gods, you missed him. 

You missed him and everything hurt. 

“I’ll do better. I’ll be better. Just please—please, don’t leave again. Please come home. Let me fix this.”

The want was overwhelming. It would be so easy to say yes, but it would be just as easy for nothing to change. 

“You can’t do that again, Azriel,” you stressed, shaking your head and causing your mate to draw back. Only a breath was left between you. “You have to tell me what’s going on. You can’t—you can’t leave me in the dark. You can’t make me feel like that.”

Azriel’s head shook in desperation. “I won’t. I promise I won’t.” 

“I need to know I can rely on you—trust you.” 

“You can, angel.” 

“I need to know that you love me.” 

A pained sound escaped Azriel’s throat. He licked his lips and reaffirmed his hold on your face, locking his eyes with yours in a beseeching gaze. 

“I love you more than life itself, angel. I couldn’t breathe when you were gone. I can’t believe I made you think that I don’t. You are my life. Let me show you. Please, let me show you.”

You tracked your eyes between both of his. “Okay, Azriel.” 

“I’m going to keep you safe.”

“I am safe.” 

“I love you.” 

"I know you do, Az. I know."

[borathae]

↳ Index [Snippet #51 - Sad Boy]

"When Jungkook comes home sad from work and you cheer him up."

Genre: Fluff, Slice of Life

Warnings: mention of losing one's partner to death, Koo is a sad boi after work, but she cheers him up, he is a little shit and she is just as much of a little shit, hehe they're annoying <3, and sooooooo in loveeee!!!, casual non-sexual nudity, backhugs with non-sexual fondling of the teeds, he is just the cutest <3

Wordcount: 1.8k

a/n: i was struck by the random thought that ogc!koo would most definitely cry to his wifey if one of his customers had a tattoo wish with a sad backstory, so this snippet was born hihi he is actually the patootiestest <3 i luv him <3

You didn’t have work today and therefore made dinner. Jungkook should be home any second now and you are really excited for it. You made some of his favourite tonight because you wanted to make him happy. Not that there is a day where you don’t want to see him happy, but you felt like surprising him tonight.

Bam has been in the kitchen with you when his ears suddenly perk up. He lifts his head and sniffles, then suddenly stands up from where he was resting to run away. You know exactly what this means. Jungkook is home. 

Feeling like greeting him by the door tonight, you follow Bam. 

You find him and Jungkook in the hallway. The latter is kneeling, hugging Bam as tightly as possible. 

“Hey there, my sweetheart”, you greet him. 

Jungkook lifts his head, giving view to his teary eyes. 

“Did you cry? What happened?” you gasp, instantly jumping into worried mode. “Kookie baby, what happened?”

Jungkook stands up and closes the distance, “I had a really sad day”, he says, hugging you tightly. He lets out small sound, melting into you.

“No, I’m sorry to hear this. Did something happen that made you sad?” you ask him, holding him and rubbing the back of his head.

“Yes”,  he squeaks out, having to sob. 

“Noo Googie, I’m here. Let it all out.”

“___ you, you can’t ever die. You have to promise me to, to never die.” 

“I mean that’s a rather ambitious wish. Why are you asking me that all of a sudden?” 

Jungkook coughs out a sob, making a sad sound.

“Let’s sit down first, okay?” 

“Yes, okay”, he whimpers.

You guide him to the living room, sitting down next to him and holding his hands. The walk from the front door to the sofa gave him enough strength to finally tell you what made him so incredibly sad today. He does so with his head lowered and his sweaty hands clasping yours as if he needed your touch to survive.

“I had a customer today and, and he wanted a tattoo and it was”, his voice quivers in tears, “it was his wife’s star sign and then I started and he cried and told me that his wife died a week ago and that he wants to keep her with him always. It was so sad”, he whimpers, “he cried through the entire session and I cried with him and it made me so sad and made me think of how it would be lose you and, and you can’t die, ___ please you have to let me go first, I can’t go through losing you.”

“Oh Kookie, you sweetest person you”, you breathe, scooting closer to drape your arm over him, “this must have been such an emotional moment. I’m sorry that you had to go through this.” 

“It was so sad. I had to, to take breaks because I kept crying so much”, he drops his head on your shoulder, “my head hurts so bad and I have ringing in my ears. I’m sad, please can you promise me not to die before me?” 

“So I should deal with you losing you?”, you ask in a chuckle. 

“Yes.”

You laugh. He laughs with you, but sniffles vividly.

“You’re a doofus.”

“A really sad doofus.” 

You snicker, kissing his forehead.

“Mhm, I promise you that I won’t leave you for a long time. I don’t wanna think about this day for too long because it’ll make me sad too, but I promise you it’s still going to be a long time till it happens.”

“I promise you too. And I love you so much. You’re my soulmate and my best friend and my life partner. Everything I do, I do for you.” He lifts his head, cradling your cheeks. His eyes, although teary, are filled with love. “Life for me began when I met you. I knew from the very first moment I saw you in Seokjin’s diner that I loved you. And ever since that moment, everything I did was for you. I love you, ___, I always have.” 

“Oh god Googie, I love you too.” You cup his cheeks. “My soulmate, my best friend and my parter for life.”

Jungkook smiles, leaning into your touch.

“Also my cute, sappy doofus.”

He giggles, agreeing with a nod.

“If I didn’t tell you how I felt tonight, I would have imploded. Witnessing my customer grieve so deeply really hurt me. I felt his pain as if it was mine.”

“Of course you did. You have such an empathetic, loving soul. I’m sure that he felt deeply comforted to be understood this way. I’m sorry that it made you feel so sad though.”

“Thank you”, he mumbles and sniffles, “I feel better already. Talking about it really helped. Thank you for listening. I love you  so much.”

“I love you too and I’m always happy to listen. We’re a team, we go through everything together.” 

He nods his head, eyes softening. 

“Maybe we could die together. When we're old like in- Oh no I’m crying again - like in The Notebook. ___, I’m so sad”, he wails, throwing his head back dramatically. 

“Gosh you, come here”, you chuckle fondly, hugging him again. 

“They were so in love and went together. I can’t do this today.”

“Gosh you, it’s okay. I’m right here.” 

“I can’t do this, please just melt into me.”

“I’m trying, I really am”, you tease, ruffling his hair. “You know I love you, don’t you?”

“I love you too, so much.”

“And I made Tangsuyuk tonight with lots of different sides.” 

“Wow, Tangsuyuk”, Jungkook whispers, forgetting all about crying at the mention of his favourite dish. “My favourite. Thank you so much.”

“Of course, everything for you my darling.” 

He lifts his head, letting you wipe his tears and snot.

“No, don’t. It’s yucky.”

“It is. So yucky”, you agree and scrunch your nose, “you snotty baby you.” 

A shy smile washes over his face. It morphs into a shocked gasp when seconds later you wipe his snot into his shirt.

“Did you just wipe my snot on my shirt?”

“Mhm I did”, you grin, standing up to run away from him, “what are you gonna do about it?”

Jungkook feels his heart flutter. When you are being playful like this, he forgets all about his sadness. He jumps to his feet, chasing you all the way to the kitchen.

“Come here you”, he calls after you.

You squeak and increase your steps, making him laugh and do the same.

He catches up with you, swooping you off your feet. You squeal and cackle, throwing your head back in joy as he twirls with you. 

After the twirling he has the audacity to wipe his nose into your shirt, snickering boyishly at the yelp of complaint you let out. 

He sets you down, laughing giddily when you push him away gently.

“That was so much. Why did you have to do that? Eww I can literally see the slime stick to the fabric.” 

Jungkook laughs, throwing his head back and rubbing your waist. 

“Tch, you’re rancid”, you say, swiping his hands away. You pull your shirt over your head.

“Baby wow”, he gasps, eyes instantly landing on your bared chest. “No bra?” 

“We’ve been living together for how many years and you still get surprised that I don’t wear that shit at home?” you ask him, leaving the kitchen. 

Jungkook follows you. You take the stairs down to the cellar where you have your laundry room. It is a very beautiful and homely cellar and feels more like an underground living area than an actual cellar. 

“Your boobs never lose their power. Obviously I’ll keep being surprised by them”, Jungkook says.

You scoff in amusement, wiping some disinfectant on the fabric. Jungkook is going to do laundry tomorrow either way, but you just want to get rid of the worst. 

Suddenly you have two hands on your breasts and two arms around you, a naked chest against your naked back and lips on your shoulder. 

“What are you doing?” you ask him in a chuckle, leaning into his embrace. 

“Just making sure that you’re real”, Jungkook whispers, guiding his kisses up to your neck and ear. 

“And you had to take your shirt off for that?” 

“It was dirty too”, Jungkook says and takes your earlobe between his teeth to tug on it gently, giving your breasts a playful squeeze at the same time. 

You shiver and laugh at the same time, placing your hands over his’. 

“For someone who had a sad day, you’re being very touchy right now.” 

“I’m not trying anything just…” he sighs against your neck, wrapping his arms around you as tightly as possible, “...I get happy when you laugh. And if my goofiness makes you laugh, I keep doing it.”

“It does. You do. You make me laugh a lot”, you say, having to laugh a second later when he blows raspberries on your neck. “Not like this! I hate this, it tickles”, you squeal in giggles, fleeing him as he goes in for a second attack. “Jeon Jungkook, keep doing this and I’ll die right now out of spite.” 

“No, you won’t. I won’t let you”, he says, picks you up and sits you down on the laundry machine. He is between your legs, hands on your waist and lips claiming yours in a kiss. 

You smile and hum, tangling your fingers in his hair. He smiles as well, tugging on your lower lip before putting distance between your faces.

You cradle his cheeks, rubbing them softly. He leans into your touch, rubbing your waist. His eyes are spilling over with love and as he speaks, he does so in a soft voice.

“I just love being alive with you”, he says. He caresses your waist, your hips, your stomach and chest before landing on your face. “I love the way your skin feels, warm and soft. I love the way your hair falls, so beautiful and perfect. I love the way your eyes are so full of life and beauty and love how soft your lips are. You’re perfect and I love you.”

You smile, kissing his thumb as he guides it over your lips.

“I love you too, Kookie.”

“No but, I love you.”

“I love you too.”

Jungkook lowers his eyes shyly, “I’m sorry, it’s getting too much, right?”

You tilt his head back up, mirroring his adoring gaze, “this could never get too much, my sweetie.”

He smiles giddily.

“Although I do fear that dinner might be getting cold if we keep being so sappy.”

“Oh dinner! I totally forgot. Wow baby, I’m so happy to be home”, he says, widening his eyes dramatically and rubbing his own tummy, “I’m so ready to eat, wah baby seriously.”

You snicker, “me too, baby.” You jump off the washing machine and take his hand. “First I wanna put on a shirt though. I’m not down to get sweet and spicy sauce on my titties.”

“Why not? You have me. I can clean everything you get on your boobs. I promise, I’m an expert.”

“You’re a dork, that’s what you are”, you say in a chuckle and a fond roll of your eyes.

[angelsrcute]

You said dom reader is okay so I am LAYING MY BRAINROT ON THE TABLE—

I'd like to respectfully request Overblot Boys (sans Riddle) being dominated by the reader (preferably afab & gn, there's so much submissive fem reader stuff out there & I want rep as a dom-leaning vers).

Those poor boys all need some therapizing & to get out of their own heads so bad— so what's a better way of doing so than taking charge and making them forget how to speak by pleasuring them? Sure, they can be defiant; and they can deal with a firm hand correcting them. But good boys who admit they need help & ask for it can be rewarded with fucking until they're empty and fuzzy-headed. ^^

The only one I had a semi-specific scenario in mind for was Jamil— him being blindfolded while being sucked off. His attempt at trying to regain control leads to him getting a smack on the ass & tied up so the reader can mark his pretty torso with hickies that they press on while cooing to him & edging him until he yields.

... can you tell I've been repressed lately? Lmao-

WALK EM LIKE A DOG. 𝝑𝝔

૮𐔌ྀི ´ ཀ ྀི 𐦯ྀིა 𝐍-𝐬𝐟𝐰 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭 !! ; Sub!Leona, Jamil and Azul (separate) + Dom!F!Reader ➜ cws: Brat taming, nipple play, biting, blindfold use, gag use, spanking (once), restraints (Jamil), mommy kink, crying, use of strap on, praising (Azul), leash and collar use, cunnilingus, praising, hair pulling (Leona). ᡴꪫ‎

꒰ † ੭ — Part 1; I absolutely loved writing for this idea! Though I'm still wondering about what to write for the rest, don't mind if it's late, haha! <3

❝ 𝐉𝐀𝐌𝐈𝐋 ❞ — 🪦

This man is definitely a brat, always running his big mouth off. So to make him behave you blindfolded him and put a cloth around his mouth, good, now he will finally shut up. You leave trails of kisses down his neck, biting and sucking on his sensitive spot. You kneel down and stroke his cock a few times before taking it in your mouth.

God, it felt so good, he could feel your eyes were on him— his back arching as he gripped the sheets. His moans were muffled by the gag, he tried to pull away but you held him, landing a smack on his ass. “Behave, if you want to cum, you'd have to be a good boy.” You spat out, smiling at his state. You continued what you were doing, pressing kisses on his cock and edging him! When are you even gonna let the poor boy cum!? Atleast he's listening to you like a good boy after being tied up because of his bratty attitude. <3

❝ 𝐀𝐙𝐔𝐋 ❞ — 🪦

He'd be such a pathetic crying mess, your good little boy! Just shower him with praises and kisses while you thrust inside his hole with your strap-on and he's already fucked dumb. He can only focus on how good it feels, maybe being weak isn't so bad, if he gets to be in your arms. You'd wipe away his tears and tell him he's the best.

Worship his body, play with his sensitive little nipples, leave love bites on his skin— he loves it all, he'd show them off with no shame if he wanted to. He'd definitely be ashamed about the noises he's making so he buries his head between the pillow as you fuck him. Maybe this guy also has a mommy kink! <3

“Gonna cum for mommy, yeah? Let yourself go, my baby.”

❝ 𝐋𝐄𝐎𝐍𝐀 ❞ — 🪦

He'd never admit he likes you dominating him, people are supposed to bow down before him— He is the king, isn't he? But no, you're currently sitting on the bed while holding the leash attached to his collar. How degrading. He can't believe he enjoys it!

His tongue darted out, lapping up your sweet juices. Your fingers tangling itself in his hair as you pull his head back, “How about you beg and maybe I'll end your punishment? Fair deal, right?”

He doesn't meet your eyes but whispers something you can't hear, “What was that, sweetie? You're always so loud, what's wrong, hm?” You try not to laugh at the pathetic man in front of you, you can see his ears turning red as he speaks louder, “P-Please let me pleasure you—”

“Good pup, go ahead.” You watch as he eagerly dives back, you grip his hair tighter as you feel your orgasm coming. You pull him closer and cum in his mouth, he licks you clean. You let go of his hair, letting him catch his breath, “Well done, now, let's reward you for being good for me, shall we?” <3

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

To clarify,I don't believe in porn makes you evil and I don't believe in like fantasies are evil. I'm pulling this quote off Scarleteen "“If we aren’t both careful and creative we can get stuck in fantasies that don’t mature and politicize with us."" I'm also new to being about to vote, so I'm trying to be careful about what I consume and what stereotypes media perpetuate. Like I'm not moralizing about kink or anything, and my ask was how can I get aroused with media wo my kinks or wo media

hi anon, welcome back! I'm genuinely very glad to hear some follow up.

for anybody who doesn't stay vigorously up to date with all of my anons, this ask is a continuation of this one.

so I went and checked out the Scarleteen articles you mentioned in your first message, or at least I tried to. How to Approach Sexual Fantasies and Desire on Your Own Terms is here, and while I couldn't find anything with the exact title 50 Shades of Abuse, we do have 50 Shades of BS - How to Tell the Difference Between Kink and Abuse as well as 50 Shades Crappier: On Selling Abuse for Valentine's Day, both of which cover how the 50 Shades series isn't a great model of real, responsibly-practiced BDSM.

now, here's what I didn't see in any of these articles: an assertion that anybody needs to, as you've decided to do, avoid any work that depicts anything less than perfectly healthy sexual practices.

the closest we get to that is the quote by adrienne maree brown from How to Approach Sexual Fantasies, which you mention above. now, here's the thing: first of all, I actually disagree pretty substantially with brown's assertions that one's sexual fantasies need to "politicize." I know what my politics are; the fiction that I enjoy can't change that, because I don't have the moral backbone of a chocolate eclair. I actually just talked about that earlier today in another ask.

(also, and this may be an unpopular opinion, but adrienne maree brown is kind of a dork who doesn't really say much of anything in Pleasure Activism that Audre Lorde didn't already say better and more succinctly, and I personally lost interest in Pleasure Activism pretty much the moment she casually dropped that she practices reiki healing because that's a pseudoscientific alternative medicine that doesn't do shit or fuck. but I digress.)

listen, I'm not trying to peer pressure or bully you into watching anything you don't want to watch. your porn consumption is up to you. but what you're doing here is absolutely moralizing, I think maybe because of an underlying assumption that media that involves sex is just, like, innately different than any other type of media, which is in itself an idea that stems from sex negativity!

I don't know, let's just try to play out a little thought exercise here. like, would you consider it reasonable if somebody told you that they've decided not to read or watch anything that depicts problematic behavior because they don't want to normalize it. like, first of all, they're never watching anything but Bluey again. except actually not even Bluey because I just remembered about Bluey in the genocide, which actually makes for a great illustration of how nonsensical and impossible it is to try to only engage with media that is 100% ideologically pure.

and again: that's fine! that's literally fine! it is 100% okay to watch or read or play things with morals that don't totally 100% align with yours. it's okay to enjoy them, even. it's a lot healthier than trying to avoid upsetting or incongruous things entirely, because that gives you the chance to actually think about it rather than trying to shut it out entirely! that article actually provides an entire list of questions you can run through with yourself to critically analyze the things you watch if you feel so inclined! that's a much better skill to practice than avoidance!

I get that when you're new to sex, as you said in the previous ask, this might seem daunting, but your brain isn't just a sponge that will uncritically soak up and adopt anything you expose it to. you very clearly have the ability to research, differentiate between fiction and real life, and form your own opinions! and it is absolutely fine if you want to just watch porn with your kinks!

like, listen, I see what the question is, and the easiest answer is just. do whatever gets you off.

[yanderes-galore]

Two different Anons wanted more Maegor, a surprise to me but who am I to deny it ;)?

Original Concept Here (Part 1)

Additional Thoughts 1

Additional Thoughts 2

Yandere! Maegor Targaryen Concept Extended Thoughts

Pairing: Romantic

Possible Trigger Warnings: Female Darling, Obsession, Possessive behavior, Violence, Pregnancy, Manipulation, Miscarriage mentioned, Isolation, Blood, Murder, Gender roles, Forced relationship.

The whole point of Maegor having other wives was because he was convinced they were the reason he couldn't have an heir.

So, when he has you, a wife who can successfully give him a babe, he doesn't care much about the other wives he has.

If you're lucky, he'll be merciful and simply neglect them.

However... Maegor may quickly tire of his other wives.

He'll find the tiniest little slip up with them just to have an excuse to take their heads.

He's a cruel king, after all.

You're the only wife he wants if you can give him proper heirs... not misshapen miscarriages.

Many doubt Maegor loved any other wife than you.

After all, you finally gave the dragon what he wanted.

How could he not after that?

So, yes, Maegor would probably be loyal to you as his wife.

When you get pregnant and eventually give him an heir, he knows he has a chance with you.

Maegor would take either gender of babe, although if you had a daughter... He'd probably try again for a son now that he knows you're capable of carrying his heirs.

Which is another exhausting process as you'll no doubt have a few other issues along the way.

Honestly, the process of getting rid of his other wives wouldn't happen until after your successful babe.

Then it's proven you're the one for him...

Anyone else's blood can stain his blade for all he cares...

Which is terrifying if you were close go any of the other wives.

As I said in my previous concept, Maegor is overprotective of his wife.

He expects you to lean into your gender role.

Which for him includes following him around, attending to his needs, and waiting for him in your shared chambers.

While he is known as cruel, he tones it down with you since you are his successful wife.

When you're pregnant, he keeps you secure against him in your shared chambers.

He caresses your stomach and kisses your skin.

He's strangely affectionate with you... But he's the very same man who has slaughtered innocents, burned villages, and silenced maesters for offering advice.

Maegor only looks out for himself... and now you.

When pregnant, you're often instructed not to roam by yourself.

Maegor, when not warmongering, is by your side.

Many servants and guards stay out of his way as he escorts you through the halls.

You're only given the best food and comfort, all to ensure you carry his heir to term.

It's unnerving to see him so affectionate just because you can carry his children.

Part of you fears the fate that would have befallen you if you couldn't.

You're a bundle of nerves the entire pregnancy, even during birth.

However, luckily, your pregnancy is successful and you give birth to a healthy babe.

Maegor is immediately attentive when he hears of the news.

If he was busy, he finishes what he was doing quickly before coming to greet you.

If he was away from the castle, he mounts Balerion and flies back to the Red Keep.

Maegor watches sternly as your babe is handled, put into a cradle and waiting for a dragon egg to be placed to bond them to their mount.

Male or female your babe is getting a dragon, however, if your babe is male then Maegor is quick to train him when he's older.

After your birth, Maegor never leaves the bed.

Others are too nervous to tell the king he has duties for fear of some sort of horrendous death.

No, Maegor instead sits beside you and caresses your skin.

He holds you close, peppering your skin in kisses as he holds his wife close.

Afterwards he's staring at his babe in their cradle, occasionally touching the young newborn as if to figure if they're real or not.

You and your child(ren) are the only ones who see him like this.

He cares for you and his babe(s), this is the very thing he's wanted.

He knew you were special.

His special wife... a wife capable of birthing dragons.

Maegor grows more possessive of you once you're a mother.

When your babe is around one or two and given an egg... Maegor no doubt orders the execution of his previous wives.

If they didn't flee to join Jaehaerys, they were killed.

Maegor could care less for his failed wives.

All he can focus on is you and the small babe in the cradle.

Especially when his babe finally gets a dragon of their own.

... Now why would Maegor stop there, yeah?

Much to your dismay, Maegor would push the idea of more babes.

It's a dangerous game... but Maegor would want at least two heirs from his beloved wife.

A son first and foremost... yet he will take a daughter if that's the result of your first babe.

Maegor would be a harsh father on your children when they grow.

It's natural to him.

Yet, if you love anything in this situation, it's your children.

You could hate Maegor for treating you like a broodmare most of your marriage... But you no doubt love your babes.

You often coddle your children and try to keep Maegor under control as they grow up.

Although... There's a good chance Maegor won't... live to see your babes grow up.

For better or for worse.

No, your husband most likely dies on the Iron Throne like the stories say in canon.

Some say you did it yourself, or some other disgruntled subject did so.

Depending on the age of your children, some might even say they did it.

Unless they were still young babes.

Regardless, you and your children would be under the judgement of Jaehaerys I sooner or later.

Many ask for the execution of you and your children.

However, Jaehaerys is merciful.

He doesn't think you'll be much of a threat, much less your babes who most likely dislike Maegor too.

So... That's where your life would lead.

You'd raise your babes mostly yourself, but maybe Jaehaerys will have someone aid you.

Maybe Jaehaerys even helps you raise them or is at least on good terms with them to prevent them from being like their father.

Overall, it's a mostly good ending.

It's just you and your children... along with their dragons whom they have strong bonds with due to their blood

Perhaps, now no longer chained to your cruel husband...

You can be happy and focus on your babes? There's no doubt they'll be useful during King Jaehaerys I's reign, yes?

[perfectlysanexd]

I haven't done one of these kind of posts in a while, but the expressions in Rebirth were top notch, and I wanted to talk a bit about and analyze Sephiroth's different smiles, both pre and post Nibelheim.

Nibelheim itself is difficult to gauge, because SOLDIER Cloud is actually Zack, and furthermore, some of it is definitely his own wishful thinking. But one thing you can say for sure, is that they portray that Sephiroth, despite being so emotionally weary, still summons up the energy to smile at his friend.

As soon as he turns away from Zack, his smile falls, and he doesn't give one to the Mayor at all.

However, when he turns back to inform the men that they're free until sundown, he summons up another smile for them. I don't think that he's just attempting to keep their morale up, he genuinely has affection for Zack, and cares for the others. He respects them for their service, putting their lives on the line for what they think is a good cause, and Sephiroth—as we saw in Ever Crisis—learned to be a compassionate person, who cares about the lives of others, even enemies.

Of course, he's deeply distressed during this time, the despair is eating him alive. Even Cloud acknowledges(despite having not known Sephiroth on a personal level) that he just wasn't himself once they arrived. But I'm not going to talk about my theories on all the Jenova stuff right now, that's not the focus here. Even at the window, you can tell he's feeling off, but when he turns to Zack, he attempts to smile again.

Sephiroth has never enjoyed his fame, and as we learned in Ever Crisis, he didn't choose it; Shinra made up bogus achievements and declared him to be a hero before even his first field assignment, as part of their recruitment campaign. Can't argue with results, I guess—it certainly got Cloud to join up out of hero worship, right? In EC, Sephiroth admits that all he ever wanted was to be normal, something that he knows he can never have. How sad...

So when this man wants to take his picture, it's no wonder that he's over it by then, and tells him no. And rather politely, too, all things considered. But even before that, he smiles and tells Zack that as long as he does his job, their young tourguide will be safe.

But as soon as he turns his back and walks away? Yeah, that smile immediately fades.

Which certainly doesn't change when the guy takes his picture. But of course, when Zack asks Sephiroth to pose for one, he just can't say no, even though he's not super happy about it. Anyway, he continues to smile at Zack for the duration of their journey up Mt. Nibel, making an effort to talk and even cracking a couple jokes, just trying to be a good leader and keep them in good spirits.

And of course, there's the very sad bridge part, where you can tell that he's genuinely upset that he failed to save the other infantryman that got washed away. He searches for him, but comes up empty-handed. Still, he smiles for Zack and teases him about a performance assessment, since their morale is quite low now, but they need to keep going.

Honestly, the Nibelheim part of Rebirth really did an excellent job of portraying Sephiroth's inner struggle. For reference, there are only 3 points in Remake, I think, when Sephiroth drops his ever-present, sometimes affectionate(towards Cloud) and often unhinged, smile: First, it's replaced with sheer rage as he kills President Shinra.

Second time, is when Aerith has a Cetra moment and suggests that his entire existence is "wrong".

And the third time is when he holds out his hand to Cloud at the Edge of Creation, and is rejected by him.

Anyway, back to Rebirth. Ignoring the bizarre smiles he showed us as Nibelheim was burning, as if he was in a trance and just not all there(that's a subject for a different chat), post-Nibelheim Sephiroth's smiles are interesting, too, if we consider what kind they are, depending on who he's dealing with.

For people he hates, like Tseng, it's much more unhinged looking, and very cold. You can tell there's a certain measure of satisfaction from shanking him, haha...

For someone like Aerith, who...I wouldn't exactly say that he hates her, but she's definitely in the way. I would almost say that he considers her to be actively preventing Cloud from recovering his true memories, leading him to remain as merely Sephiroth's "puppet", but that's a theory for another day. He looks at her coldly, as well, but it's a bit different. There's a bit more respect there than there was for Tseng.

And then there's Zack. Actual Zack. I feel like, deep down, he still cares about him, and has no intention of killing him. I almost sense a little...regret? Maybe? Hm. It's definitely a bit warmer of a smile. And of course, although he had many opportunities to get rid of Zack, he doesn't. Instead, he sends him off into the space between worlds safely.

And of course, last but certainly not least, is the way he smiles at Cloud. I know, I know. "But Sane, you like sefikura, so you're biased!" Look, I won't deny that. However, when you really look at it and compare his smiles, which is what this is all about, his truest smiles are always saved for Cloud. He has 2 different "flavors": pure affection and cruel affection. (There are also a few pity smiles, I think.) The former is used most of the time, whenever Cloud is in his sight, and the latter is used during moments when he's trying to control/influence him. I would almost say that he's...satisfied, yet regretful at the same time?? Like these:

And now, let's contrast that with his more genuine, affectionate smiles for Cloud... (The first shot here ⬇ can be contrasted with the shot 2 up from the bottom there ⬆, as the one above is when he's calling Cloud his puppet, and the one below is when Cloud goes to attack him and he opens his arms wider for the incoming uh...embrace.)

Remake had many interesting smiles from him, too, but that will have to be a different post, as this already has 30 screenshots. Anywho, you're free to draw your own conclusions, and not everyone reads faces in the same way, so maybe I'm nuts. Who knows? Either way, I hope you enjoyed this random, indulgent, very long post, haha. If you made it to the end, you're awesome. 💕

All screenshots were taken by me on my PS5. I won't ask for credit on them, since literally anyone can take an identical shot if they pause at the right second. (The exception are the 3 Remake shots, which were taken on PC with mods and the freecam. For those, I would appreciate credit if you use them anywhere, since I don't watermark them.)

[lovettery]

Haikyuu x F!Reader Headcannons ! ♡

Includes : Tobio Kageyama , Kei Tsukishima & Tadashi Yamaguchi

Tobio Kageyama

I headcannon that before you he's like barely ever even looked at a girl nevermind dated one so he's very inexperienced with everything !

He would be super shy to kiss or anything so everytime you would try and kiss him he'd swerve away and just stare into the distance in shame of himself.

Soon he got the hang of it and now you can't get him to stop kissing you. Before practice? He needs a kiss to prepare. After practice? Needs a kiss to unwind. Lunch? How is he supposed to focus without a kiss? He just doesn't stop!! (but it's okay because he's cute ♡)

When you guys have been together for a while he loves to just lay down in bed with you all snuggled up and whine about his day whether it's him whining about Hinata's shitty receives or how much he missed you whilst you stroke his hair and rub your hand soothingly across his back.

He always tries getting you involved in volleyball so he'll randomly just come up to you with a ball in hand ready to practice with you despite your constant reminders that you barely know the basics nevermind his level of playing. (He doesn't go easy on you though and will tell you if you were shit. But will come back to practice with you again either way ♡)

I imagine he doesn't tend to use a lot of petnames mainly because he's worried he'll call you it infront of his teammates and they'll never let it go but when you're alone together he'll slip out a "baby" and "angel" here and there and it never fails to leave butterflies in your stomach.

Kei Tsukishima

Same as Kageyama I don't think he's very experienced with relationships but he's read a few romance books here and there and has some natural charm that helps him get by.

He's not a fan of PDA at all and thinks it's just embarassing but sometimes he'll connect your hands together and place them in his coat pocket or he'll connect your pinkies together when walking home. And the only kisses you'll get out in public is a quick peck to the forehead if he's scoped out the area to be sure no one he knows is there.

He LOVES to rest his head against you whether it's your back, chest or neck he really doesn't care he'll just plonk his head down and snuggle into you. He loves the feeling of having you against him like that, it calms him down.

Whenever you're gonna meet up to hang out, sleepover or just school he'll bring your favourite drink or snack and just shove it at you and not say a word (you know better than to say anything either ♡)

He really cherishes the moments where you two just lay down in his bed all cuddled up, you resting against his chest and his hand in your hair just enjoying the feeling of eachother and the comfortable silence you can only get when together.

Whenever you steal his glasses and put them on yourself he may act annoyed but deep down he loves it so much (And in those moments he really curses his bad vision because he literally cannot see you but can sense that you look adorable)

I don't see him as the type of guy who's big on petnames. If anything, he thinks they're stupid. Butttt, If you're shorter than him he'll call you petnames like "Shorty" and "Pipsqueak" and if you're a big fan of petnames he'll let a few "love" and "darling" slip by just for you ♡

Tadashi Yamaguchi

My passenger princess oh how much I love him

I imagine he's a very big fan of Romantic movies so he knows how to flirt a little but he doesn't actually have any experience with dating, maybe he had a wedding on his schools playground when he was like 6 if that counts!

He obviously overthinks here and there so whenever he needs to ground himself you'll just feel his hand on your lower back, pinching the tip of your sleeve or in your hair.

He's not against PDA but he's also not for it. Like he's not afraid of a few pecks here and there and a hand around your waist but he won't be the type of guy to wear a shirt with your face on it, that's far too embarassing for him.

He hates it when people underestimate him for things which makes him work himself harder to prove his worth. This causes him to burn himself out quickly but no matter how much you yell at him he won't change cause at the end of the day you always hold him and rub circles into his back whilst playing his favourite show.

He loves to call you petnames, but only in private. He loves to call you his "angel" and "honey" mostly but calls you "baby" from time to time. If you two are joking around he'll say really stupid names like "my boo boo bear" or "my pookie schnookie" with a stupid dopey grin on his face ♡

He's happy to play whatever you want whenever. Especially roblox! He loves to play 2 player tycoons and 2 player obbies with you the most but also plays Dress to Impress and Flicker with you.

Your first kiss together was embarassing to say the least. When kissing he accidently bumped your head really hard with his own, leaving a bump. He would not stop apologising for the next week until the bump on your head finally went down. (To this day he cringes when thinking about it but can't help but smile)

Thank you so so much for reading and I hope you liked them. I still have like a million other headcannons for these boys but I can't fit them all here ♡ This was my first time properly posting so I hope it looks okay !! This was super fun so I'll definitely be posting more characters soon. If you have any requests please let me know and I'll do them. Thank you!

[forthegothicheroine]

For some reason I'm thinking back to my high school and college days, when I admired the goth kids and wished I could be like them but was sure I'd never be cool enough. I spent so much time going over lists of 80s postpunk bands and mandatory reading lists and being afraid to call myself goth for fear it was a name I didn't deserve. Sure, I covered myself in black lace and read vampire books and listened to Tom Waits, but how could I steal such valor?

(For the record, no gatekeepers made me do this, I did this entirely to myself.)

I eventually found myself in that subculture anyway via steampunk, a label I was more willing to use, but if I could go back, here's what I'd say:

"Chill out and have fun exploring. You like Tom Waits and Jill Tracy, right? Listen to everything you can find labeled 'dark cabaret', you'll thank me later. You like celtic music and ren faires, right? Dance around in your room to Faith and the Muse. These aren't lists of bands you need to memorize in order to use a word, they're cool things to investigate and maybe even enjoy. Read all the weird fiction you can find, it will totally blow your mind. Put on whatever silly clothing you want, if you don't like it you don't have to wear it again. This is supposed to be fun.

Also, that kid in the 'You All Laugh Because I'm Different, I Laugh Because You're All The Same' shirt? They're not too cool to want to talk to you. Just tell them you like their shirt."

[vintageseawitch]

to everyone who is still not going to vote for Harris or will vote third party because of Gaza: please say with your whole chest that you want trump to win. we're living in the real world & it sucks but it's between the two. just say that you're perfectly okay with Project 2025 being implemented. just say that you're fine with mass deportations, another Muslim ban, people being sent to camps, people getting serial numbers, millions of women at risk for reproductive reasons, more oil drilling than ever before as they deny climate change. tell anyone you care about that is worried about any of these things that you are okay with all of this happening. no matter who we get, things will be happening over there. if you don't want to help your own house, how can you possibly help anyone else's?

"if she loses, just know it's because of her policies. they should have chosen a better candidate." THIS IS SUCH A COPOUT. we're going to have someone in charge of our military one way or another so they are ALL warmongers!! y'all have no fucking clue how this government works!! you're not marrying your candidate & to wait for someone perfect means you never live in the real world anyways.

it won't be entirely your fault if she loses, but if you're working harder for her to lose it's not good. just say that because we live here, we ALL deserve what we're gonna get, & that's including you because you're going down with the rest of us.

there's this thing called "being concerned about more than one thing" & another is telling everyone vulnerable around you that your principles matter more than other real people. where is the anger for Congress. for trump meeting with netanyahu & violating the Logan Act to do that. there's so much at stake in this election. who would you feel safer to protest under? whatever, y'all think they're "the same." we won't get your votes? odds are, a bunch of y'all will get deported anyways should he win. good luck.

[lasouge]

Soulmate

Itoshi sae x fem.Reader

——————————————

●summary:

From a young age, Sae had a sentence on his arm, and it would be the first thing his soulmate will said to him.

But it has been bothering him for many years.

Because the sentence is "Shidou, I've always admired your ......"

What the fuck is this？

This seems to be the opening sentence before the confession, but,

And Who is the fuck Shidou ?

——————————————

● English is not my native language, there may be grammar issues

————————————————

The words on Sae's arm were something he hated.

It always has been.

First of all, Sae was sure that he would never change his name to something as ugly as Shidou.

Sae is his name.

Well, otherwise, his soulmate will confess to others, and in front of him

Otherwise, he and his soulmate won't be together.

Anyway, let this Shidou and these things go to hell!

It's as if God was playing a joke on him.

He wouldn't easily show his damn arm in front of everyone.

(Except for one time when he undressed in the locker room, but he quickly covered his arms indifferently.)

The sentence was on his arm, like a damn tattoo, and maybe someone would misunderstand, because it was like some teenager's stupid declaration.

And he didn't know any damn Shidou at all

Before the age of eighteen, he had never hated someone he had never met so much.

And, does his soulmate really prefer someone else?

Choose this Shidou?

Shidou？ It sounds quite foolish

Moreover, only after seeing soulmates, will the words on the arm completely disappear.

He had be in a bad mood. He often has a bad temper, he is often sarcastic, cold to people, and expressionless,

but he can't be blamed, as soon as he shows his arms and then looks down to see it, his patience for the day can easily be lost.

Then he met the real Shidou Ryusei. SAE picked him for a team, and a large part of that was why.

Sae thought expressionlessly,

That's it? Is this premature ejaculation demon? It's just as stupid as he thought.

His future soulmate would choose this person instead of him.

Unbelievable

Later he teamed up with this guy to compete,

If don't talk about personal grievances, this person's ability to compete is good.

When it comes to competition, everyone needs to put their personal feelings aside and concentrate on it.

Sae could consider continuing to team up with him.

But Sae still hated him.

HE DON'T want to have any close contact with him.

Shidou didn't know why, of course. Because Sae has hated his name for many years and has been conditioned.

——————

You don't know much about football. You're coming to see the game with your older brother.

Your brother is obviously more excited than you are, and he loves these sports. And the players he supports just won.

You look at your brother cheering.

Well, sometimes he took you with him to watch the game, you're used to it.

In Your family, your uncle, dad, and brother all have their own teams to support. They also argued because of the different teams they support.

You sit a little bit at the front, and these seats were managed by your brother with great difficulty. The audience is very large, and the shouts fill your ears.

Your brother was visibly excited, "I said, they're going to win!" We're going to get autographs! Look, we're sitting very far forward! ”

He's talking about player Oliver Aiku, shidou ryusei, itoshi sae...

but you don't know these players. It's just that your family members are fanatical.

————————

"I don't know what to say! I haven't spoken to a football player! "You complained to your brother.

Your brother pulls you to the front to get autographs, and you've never been up close to the players before.

Your brother tells you to just praise them and get them to sign your clothes.

Sign it on the clothes, oh my God, it's so embarrassing.

Thankfully, you wore long sleeves today to get them to write on your sleeves.

You're pretty sure your brother will collect these clothes……

The fans around you are so enthusiastic that they are yelling, waving their arms and greeting the team that comes their way.

Oliver Aiku high-fived them and signed them with lipstick.

You hear the fans start calling Shidou's name, so you squeeze in.

"Player shidou, I've been... I've always admired your ...... character and ability..."

Oh, what are you talking about? Forget it, complete your brother's mission! Then go home!

"Please... Can you give us a signature? Thank you. ”

yes, give my brother the damn autograph he wants!

You huddle in the crowd and smile.

But the person in front of you is not Shidou, you glance at the name on the jersey:

Itoshi Sae.

All right...Your smile freezes.

“I'm Sorry……”

His green eyes are cold, and he looks at you with a blank face.

It's a shame. You don't dare to look at the athlete's face.

Sae frowned slightly, he heard that. Yes.

He looks at you, his ...... Soul mates?

So all this was a misunderstanding, and that sentence was just a misunderstanding, not what he thought？

Is the meeting with your soulmate so sudden? Apparently.

Heaven is too good at joking

And you, he looks at you,

You look overwhelmed and a little nervous, as if you want to explain something.

Your body stiffens,

You're squeezed by the crowd a bit,

You stumble on the ground in front of Sae standing, and will felk next to his sneakers.

All you think about is that you're going to have to lose face a second time in front of Itoshi Sae. No.

You won't agree to go to a game with your brother again. Never

But,

Before you can touch the ground, Sae reaches out to catch you.

You were pulled into his arms

Itoshi Sae hugs a girl! A girl in the audience!

So your brother opens his mouth wide, and the camera points here, and his teammates exclaim.

But sae didn't care.

You like a butterfly, pounce into his arms and land on his fingertips with a slight floral scent.

He can smell the light scent in your hair.

His soulmate

You're blushing.

You're obviously not used to being the center of attention. You apologize to him, you want to go back to your brother, and you don't care about signing autographs

But his hand is still grasping your arm and not letting go.

“Player Itoshi ？……” You look at him, a little confused.

Your brother is completely shocked, Sae's teammates are heckling again, and reporters can't wait to ask questions.

But everything around him is far away from him, and he just looks at you

Although his emotional control ability is top-notch, his heart now is not at all, he knows it.

Although he still looks cold on the surface, he knows that he wants to hold you in his arms again and feel this feeling again.

He was not used to this new emotion, not at all.

He took a breath, his tone the same as usual

"Do you know you've been bothering me for a long time?"

yes, how bothered him you were.

And not only because of the words on his arm . He is still messing with his heart in a new way.

He knew that his heart could not be so calm again.When see you.

even though his expression is as calm as ever.

But you open your eyes wide and say "what the hell?!" ”

You show your arm and It says "Do you know you've been bothering me for a long time?" ”

He's your soulmate?!

Well, it seems that this sentence is also bad on your arm and may have tormented you for many years as well.

It seems that you have been fair to each other.

You look at Sae seriously this time, it turns out that he is that person.

In the past, when you looked at the words on your arm, you always thought that you would be hated or rejected by your soulmate, and you would be sad when you thought about it.

You're glad it's not what you thought it was. But...

Your brother suddenly said loudly, "You are soul mates?!" He was so surprised that he accidentally blurted out.

You want to cover his mouth, but by the time you realize it, the reporters are already around. You wince, you're really not used to this kind of situation, you and your brother are a little overwhelmed.

Sae is young and a good player, and even if you don't know football, you know him as one of the New gen world's 11.

The news on the phone seems to mention that he is suspected of having a beautiful model girlfriend in a relationship, although you don't know if it's true.

Maybe he will reject you, too.

And in front of countless people, isn't that worse than you think before…

The cameras flickered, and the reporters kept asking all kinds of questions. You have to twist your face to the side, you don't want to be photographed.

"Sae, will she be your new girlfriend?"

"How's your last relationship?

Is she really your soulmate? How do you want to choose? ”

……

You keep your head down, but you feel someone pull you into his arms.

Sae hugs you and presses your face into his arms to keep your front from being photographed more.

You were caught off guard.

Your face is almost as red as his hair color.

Your face is against his jersey, and you smell him deeply, the smell of dry sweat, and the faint scent of his body.

Your eyes are wide open and your limbs are stiff.

You hear him say, "She is.

“ Is my soul mate"

"I've never had anyone else, and I don't have to make any choices."

He said he never had anyone else.

Only you are the imprint of each other's souls.

One day you'll be around each other, like this.

Even if you are caught off guard.

Yes, you will not choose someone else, and he will also not choose someone else

You look up at Sae's green eyes, your eyes are full of surprise . He looks at you, and there is a softness in his cold eyes.

He and his soulmate are destined to embrace each other in the spotlight.

The words on arms disappeared, but the soulmates finally found each other

————————————————

Your brother: Great, so can we sit in the family seats to watch the game from now on? The view must be good.

————————————

[the-way-astray]

What's your favorite cannon thing you truly like about Keefe Sencen

I DARE you 😈

i've been dared . . .

definitely my favorite thing is the fact that in flashback/legacy he was 100% not only supportive of sophie and fitz's relationship despite having a crush on sophie, but also actively tries to keep sophie from doing something that could even be interpreted as implicative. there was a poll a while ago about whether people thought sophie and keefe were (even unintentionally) emotionally cheating on fitz, and i answered a hard no. and the main reason for that was because of keefe. he does so much to try to keep sophitz together during that time, including telling sophie to confide in fitz, telling her to tell him about the matchmaking thing, shutting ro down (or at least doing his best to), and generally speaking, he did not have to do all that. like, yeah, any decent person would be supportive and not actively try to break their two friends in a relationship up, but keefe goes way beyond that and actively tells sophie exactly what to do in order to keep her relationship with fitz intact. every time fitz "catches" him with sophie it's lowkey painful to think about what keefe must be feeling because he spends so much time trying to prevent that exact thing from happening. there's even a line in legacy where sophie admits this herself. one of the only times he uses his empathy not dubiously is at the end of legacy, where sophie "tells" him (i use the term loosely) that she and fitz broke up. and he immediately says "i'm sorry", expressing out loud his sympathy for their relationship's end.

(one thing i've heard people misinterpret a lot in anti keefe things is the "blond hottie" line, which they say is an inappropriate thing to say about someone in a relationship. that was not said by keefe. that was said by ro. she says that when she's trying to convince sophie that bronte can't be her bio dad, to which keefe then says "unless she gets that from her mom". that's all he says. sophie then wonders whether that meant he agreed with the blond hottie assessment, but that doesn't come from anything he actually says.)

it surprises me that i haven't seen keefe lovers talk more about the fact that fitz literally commissioned him to draw him and sophie in a very romantic pose in a very romantic spot and keefe did it. so i'm going to talk about it. once again, this is not just baseline "my crush is in a relationship, oh well, guess i won't interfere" stuff. this is going above and beyond to keep sophie and fitz together. again, keefe has a crush on sophie. i'm not an artist, but obviously art doesn't just pop up out of thin air. he spent some time making that drawing. and all that time is yet another reminder that his crush is in a relationship. he could've told fitz no, made up some excuse as to why he couldn't do it, and that would've been well within his right. but he didn't. so that's a thing worth mentioning. (i'm going to just say i don't like the argument that fitz knew what he was doing when he asked keefe for the drawing, though. i think fitz just thought "sophie likes keefe's drawings! let me get her one of those" which is sweet in and of itself.)

in unlocked, keefe thinks something like "he definitely should not be happy that two people close to him were going through a rough patch. but, if he was being honest, he wasn't really sad" or something to that effect. and i like that. he has a crush on sophie, so of course part of him will be happy she's now single again. it's realistic. i've definitely talked about this before, but jealousy isn't a character flaw to me. it's only the actions that a character does because of their jealousy that defines whether or not it's a bad thing. but the thing with keefe is that he never allows the fact that he likes sophie to outwardly affect sophie and fitz's relationship in any negative way when they're tentatively dating. sophie and fitz fell apart for a lot of reasons, but the reasons were entirely on sophie and fitz, and had nothing to do with keefe himself. in fact, you could argue they only lasted as long as they did because of keefe.

i complained a lot about how much he doesn't shut up about his hair in my rant. but that was mostly at his humor style and the fact that he literally talks about it at the weirdest times (in his registry file . . . ) more so than the fact itself. and truthfully, he doesn't even talk about it that much. but i think it makes a lot of sense that he takes pride in it. it's the physical manifestation of rebellion against his parents who have controlled every other aspect of his life. he's also an artist, and i think it's a pretty neat thing that that extends to the way he styles his hair. also it looks good. i will die on this hill. just don't look at the laura art. jason chan is my king and keefe's hair is very cool and- *gunshot*

there's also a handful of moments where keefe uses his humor appropriately, to ease tension. best example i can think of is the one katie brought up in this post which is the moment in flashback right before the celestial festival (climax). magnate leto gives them all these sparkler things to light if they're in danger, and keefe sets off a couple prematurely "just to make sure they work" *wink wink nudge nudge* and sophie specifically says the "bit of levity" helped tame the "monster" she's been battling the whole book. when he's able to use his humor appropriately, and not at weird times about weird things, he can be a valuable source of comfort. these moments are unfortunately few and far between, but they do exist.

keefe is also good at calming sophie down when she's panicking, when he's not using his empathy to force her to tell him her feelings. i personally like it more when he's comforting her using his words than his emotional breezes, because that speaks more to his personality than it does to his ability to use his emotional breezes to calm her down. another example katie discusses in the post above is when he's talking to her about the bronte-is-her-bio-dad theory. sophie was panicking because she was thinking about the implications of it (prentice, him acting horrible to her, etc.) and keefe brings her back down to earth with his reassurances that this doesn't change anything about her. when she says bronte can't know she knows, he immediately gets her to reconsider in a gentle way, because like. that's the entire point of her search for her bio parents. he does all this using his words (actually i just checked and he does use his emotional breezes a couple of times but his words do have an impact on their own so we're disregarding that), which does prove that he's very good at knowing what to say to keep her calm.

(also the fact that he was even helping her search for her bio parents is another example of him going above and beyond to keep her relationship to fitz intact. he didn't have to do that at all.)

and lastly, i think i mentioned this in my rant and maybe a couple other places, but i think keefe's jealousy when it comes to family is written very realistically. in neverseen, he's jealous of fitz, biana, sophie, and dex when they hug their parents, and there's a line where he specifically says "i hate watching it. them and della" (them referring to fitz and biana). in unlocked, he's again jealous of dex's family and wishes he'd been born into a family like his. and i think that's written really well. it's pretty subtle and not really shoved in your face, too. i'm pretty sure there's a total of three times it gets brought up: the "them and della" line, one line at the end of neverseen where sophie and dex are hugging edaline and kesler, and then the line in unlocked. very blink and you miss it but i like that. it's one of the few things the narrative doesn't dump a truckload of pity on keefe for, and it makes the few times it is brought up even sadder.

oh, and also i think he's handsome. sue me.

[haveihitanerve]

Cardigan

my contribution for Batman Day

It wasn't supposed to end like this. 

Stranded on a planet, a million miles from earth, with a broken ship and a Lantern who flew off three hours and twenty seven minutes ago, and all Bruce can think is “It wasn't supposed to end like this.” He’s supposed to be Batman right now. He’s supposed to be fixing the ship, maybe catch Hal on his way back. Instead, he’s Bruce, just Bruce, sitting on the rocky outcrop of what appears to be a cliff, legs propped up, arms folded over them, watching the seven suns set. The wrench is laying back by the ship. 

He isn't even sure, entirely, how he ended up so far away, sitting here. But he can’t bring himself to stand up, to walk away. To even look away, at this point. “You would’ve loved it.” He murmurs, quietly, to himself. He knows he doesn't have long, the oxygen levels here are lower than on Earth. And at this point, Hal won’t make it back in time. Maybe, if he had kept his mask on, it might be different. Bruce doesn't mind. He doesn't care. 

His eyes drift over the four separate suns, sighing contently. The planet is some sort of red giant, dusty and purple and red and beautiful, really, is all Bruce can come back to. And, how much his children would have loved to see it.

The purple rocks stain his hands, and he can’t help but think of Stephanie, how she once stained his hands purple too, with glitter though, not rock.

He knows that it’ll be a shock for Hal to find Bruce Wayne here, instead of Batman. And he knows everyone would expect him to be thinking of his parents. As his last thoughts. But, they're faded. In the back of his mind. 

Bruce can’t look back right now, for some reason, when for his whole life it was all he did. Batman, the Wayne Foundation, all of it was for the past. For what could have been if his parents had lived. But now? Now all Bruce can think of is Dick. 

All he can think of is how his oldest son is going to have to decide if he’s going to be Batman, or if he’s going to reveal Bruce’s identity. If he’ll reveal his connection to him.  All he can think of is how he and Jason never really recovered, not really. That he never managed to tell his son he misses him. That he loves him. He told him, of course. But he regrets all the missed opportunities he would have in the future. He misses the fact that Jason has, so far, never believed him. And now probably never will.  All he can think of is how he never told Tim enough times how proud he is. How amazing Timmy is. How grateful he is that his little boy forced his way into his life. How he’s left the company to him. Because Tim was always better at all that than Bruce. Than anyone else.  All he can think is how Barbara will never know she’s the reason he’s managed to hold on as long as he has. She was there, for everything. Through Dick leaving, through Jason, through Tim. Through all of it, she was the one in his ear, reprimanding him for getting too violent, reminding him to eat, scolding him for not using proper manners.  All he can think is how he won’t be there for Cass’s dance recital next week. How he won’t get to hear her grow more comfortable with her own voice over her body.  All he can think about is Damian, his little boy. How Dick and Jason and Tim and Barbara, will have to step up and raise his son. How he’ll never get to see his son grow up. 

All Bruce can think about, as he watches the suns dip beneath the horizon, is how much joy his children brought to his life. And how he’s now broken his promise. 

“Come back home.” Dick whispered. “Come back home.” Barbara whispered. “Come back home.” Jason whispered. “Come back home.” Tim whispered. “Come back home.” Cass whispered. “Come back home.” Steph whispered. “Come back home.” Damian whispered.

“I will.” He promised, every time. Without fail. A promise, an oath. His solemn vow to them. To each of his partners. Not sidekicks. Partners. His equals in every way. The ones who had shown his joy and wonder and had given him laughter and life. They had drawn stars around his scars, had brightened his world. 

No, as Bruce stares out across the darkening planet, he does not reflect on the past, on what was, on what could have been with his parents. He thinks of the suns that brightened his world, and what a shame, what an absolute shame it is, that they won’t have him orbiting them anymore. He regrets that much, at least. The repetition of the past. No more willing, but he’s leaving them nonetheless. 

“It wasn't supposed to end like this.” The words echo around the deserted, dark planet. A light breeze ruffles against the mans dark gray cardigan. A green light comes a few hours later, illuminating the world like a flashlight. Its green, not red or gold or black or purple. And it is far too late.

....

okay that got wayyyyy dark wayyyy fast- literally imma share a bit of my thoughts with you- this was the reminder i wrote for myself for this-

Batman Day. Write him. just him. For the love of God only write about him. No focus on anyone else. As hard as it is because he’s defined by his family but none of them! Only him. No parents, no kids. Maybe parents. Origins. Write his origins. 

... like... clearly I failed. very clearly. But oh well my hands and my brain vs me are two different things so... I hope you enjoyed at least! :)

[lexithwrites]

love love love the sugar daddy au, do you have any nsfw thoughts to spare?

this is kinda gonna just be their first time together as im not 100% on their dynamic overall,,,,bare with me whilst i figure this couple out:

i feel like their first kiss is when they're drunk at regulus' penthouse, like they're sat on the sofa watching something or listening to music and talking and drinking some nice wine and regulus is looking away as remus stares at him and then just kinda leans a little closer at first

regulus flinches, he's never used to physical touch anymore, and then looks at remus and realises he genuinly wants to kiss him, thats it, and he leans in so their lips touch and its immediate fireworks

both of them feel electric and the soft kiss turns into deep kissing, slow and sensual, then passionate and desperate as they touch and grip and feel and grope and start to moan into each other's mouths but then regulus jumps back because he's scared, he hasn't done this in so long and he doesn't know what to feel and remus is so apologetic about it

then,,,,the sexual tension becomes too much

regulus caves, he goes to remus' flat when james is out with his brother and just,,,he kisses him so desperatley, moaning into his mouth about how horny he is and that he cant stop thinking about remus and he needs to fuck him and remus is all for it, he's been in the same boat

but regulus knows what he wants and he knows how this is going to go, so he lays out ground rules, safe words, dos and donts etc and remus is all for it, its the most safe and seen he's felt having sex EVER

regulus takes the lead, he feels every inch of remus before even taking his clothes off and its the best kind of torture

remus is a pretty submissive guy and he's under his spell straight away, just whimpering and pleading for regulus to let him touch him but he isnt ready, he needs his fill of remus first

regulus is,,,very good at giving head. he doesn't have a lot of experiance with partners but he watches porn, he has toys, he knows what he's doing, and remus' thighs are shaking by the end of it

regulus has never seen this intense look of pleasure ever on a partners face and he's actually flustered, he didnt expect remus to enjoy it so much but then he's being thrown on the bed and its time,,,he has to let remus see him naked

now, im a trans reg truther always, so he's very nervous. remus knows he's trans, they've had this talk, but he's never had sex with someone after transitioning and he's so scared remus will hate the scars and maybe hate the fact that he doesn't have a 'real' dick, remus loves his body so much its crazy

he's never been so attracted to someone and he wants to devour him,,,so he does

remus' sexuality is a bit of a mystery to me, but i feel like he's had experiance with,,,everything that can be down there, and he just gives regulus his fucking all, he's sloppy and messy but so precise and attentive, every time regulus tugs his hair he stays in that spot, every new moan and gasp is what he wants again and again, its amazing,,,he does himself proud

and then the actual fucking,,,its a bit awkward

remus has to get condoms and regulus is lying there watching him and then gets under the sheets so he's comfortable, and then remus is leaning over him just staring into his eyes and saying how beautiful and handsome he is and regulus just blushes and tells him to put it in already, and remus frowns

'i want this to last forever, regulus...dont you?' and regulus melts, plus it makes him wet af to hear that

and god,,,the sex is good guys, its so good

neither has ever felt this good before and its overwhelming in the best way

they're both panting and moaning and gripping at ecah other, begging for more and almost on the verge of tears because they've never felt so connected to another person, and its a mix of hot and fast and hard and slow and deep and loving and its just,,,UGH

they're a hot fucking couple idc

and afterwards when they're both cleaned and showered and the sheets are changed, regulus will NOT sleep in a dirty bed, they're lying together naked, just gently touching each other and holding each other, regulus confesses that he's been so scared to have sex again because he didn't think he'd ever enjoy it, he never did as a woman so why would he as a man? why would people care about his pleasure now?

and remus just kisses his forehead and promises to never let him feel that way again

regulus wakes remus up with a blowjob the next morning and rides him for ages, they basically spend the next three days fucking and going down on each other to make up for lost time until remus has to go back to work and even then he comes home in the afternoon to naked regulus in bed napping, and he's so fucking happy

[angeldiied]

Father. Is that what you are? Are you a father? I think you're more. Perhaps some sort of saint. Perhaps, after all, an angel. Perhaps, after all, God. The Bible says, ‘Do not make for yourself an idol.’ The Bible seems to be against idols, against icons. We are all sinners, Father. Even the church. Even the Bible itself. And you, Father? And you, Cas? How much sin and how much holiness is in you, do you know...

I haven't read the Bible. My mother read it to me, and even then, just the children's version. I remember the story of Adam and Eve. After all, who doesn’t? The Garden of Eden, paradise. Let’s imagine that our world is Eden. Crazy, I know. But let's imagine.

I think you’re the forbidden fruit in it. I think it’s not just for me.

I saw last week at communion how young Alfie looked at you. You think you're guiding him to the righteous path? I believe you’re driving him mad.

You shouldn’t know this. But here I am, reading a prayer, not to God, but to you.

I imagine your face if you saw me on my knees with folded hands. Dean Winchester? Never in a million years.

I'm going crazy.

I dreamt of wings recently—white feathers splattered with blood. As if something was being cut. As if wings were being cut.

I fear for you, truly, I fear. I saw young Alfie’s gaze. But I couldn’t see my own. I think there’s something terrifying there. Maybe demonic. Though if I’m a demon, a snake, I probably wouldn’t bite the forbidden fruit, because it’s not for me.

But I’ll tell you—it is for me. It is for me. I will kill, I will seal the sin, I will kill Alfie to get to you first.

I don't believe in God. But I feel possessed by all this nonsense you preach. Maybe it's the little silver cross on your chest—so modest. Maybe it's to blame. Maybe it’s your lips that read the psalms—those are shameless, Cas. A peach. I’m telling you—they're forbidden.

I want you to fear me. I really do. Kill me instead. There’s a shovel behind the church, I’ve already dug my grave, just cover it with dirt, please. Yes, right next to the parish, I know. I want to be close even after death. But dead, I’m not so... sinful, not so dangerous. You’ll either kill me, or I’ll pluck you from the branch of that damn tree in that damn Garden of Eden.

I want you to grow in me.

With life, grow, Cas. Because for now, you’re just a disease. You’re just temptation. You’re just tears on my cheeks, my madness, my hatred for the world.

The prayer is finished.

I dream.

You’re walking barefoot on the sea sand. It clings to your feet, to your heels. You’re walking, and for some reason, your feet are wet, that’s why the sand clings so persistently. You’re holding a crucifix in your hands. It dangles on a silver chain. There are handprints on your neck. Mine. And you’re murmuring prayers for forgiveness—to God. For me.

God won’t forgive me, God doesn’t exist.

I only have you. And you have that damned cross.

You would die if you heard me curse.

I like your church. It’s not tall, but it tries, it stretches to the heavens, breaks through it with its domes like a spine. Drives you mad with church bells. Curses everything around during thunderstorms and lightning, like a branch of hell on earth.

I like it. You’re there. Your broken wings are there. Blood instead of stained glass, feathers on the icons.

You. On the altar.

I. Holding the cross.

I touch you.

How good it is that you’re alive, write down my prayer. Please. It’s everywhere. Write it down. Write it down.

Whisper it like your last breath.

Take another breath. Wait. Stay with me.

You see? I'm on my knees again, for you again, for the second time in my life. Tell me the story of Jesus Christ. Tell me, I’ll listen. I’ll carry you in my arms, carry you down the Via Dolorosa. How good it is that you’re alive, that I didn’t touch you, well, almost.

My angel. I’ll bring you back. You’ll get everything, you’ll get the heavens themselves, I swear.

Can you imagine, someone told me—that I’m God.

Can you imagine, someone told me—that you’re mine.

Do you believe it? Will you say it back?

"Yes, I think you’re God. I think I’m yours."

[rockwgooglyeyes]

Although this is extremely late, what would you say happens during and after Nyx’s and the other’s escape?

HI (I am assuming) PARA!! I'm so sorry that I never wrote something for the aftermath of Nyx's round, I had a draft but I just moved into my flat at uni and my flatmates moved in last Sunday and it's been kind of super chaotic since. I haven't had much time to write. But the finished product will be in this ask-response, for simplicity's sake. If that's okay with you

LOG (SUBJECT: Round 18 - ONYX LOSS)

SPECIMEN: 001247 (ONYX)

When the lights go out, fear is the furthest thing from Nyx's mind.

Why would he be afraid? Lang won, she won, he's so happy he could cry. She deserves it, she deserves the world, he wants to hug her and kiss her forehead and tell her that he loves her before he goes. He clutches onto her, their dance stuttering to a stop in the muddy black. He can hear the alarms going off, the panicked screams of the crowd, the footsteps clattering through the arena and the gunshots ringing out, but it all feels far away. Lang starts to push him away, her hands shaking, but he holds fast.

"It's just me, please," he rasps, voice breaking on the last syllable. She goes still in his arms, wariness clear in the steely potential energy of her limbs. He finds her forehead with his hand and brushes away her bangs from it, bending down to press a kiss to the revealed skin. "Thank you, Lang, for being my friend. I love you." She hesitates, hands twitching where they rest on his chest, before hugging him. She squeezes him tightly and lets go all too soon, distancing herself from him. She takes one step and then another, getting farther and farther each time.

Letting out a shaky breath, Nyx lets her go. Lang doesn't turn, she doesn't run away, she watches him unflinchingly in the murky darkness. If there really is an afterlife, he thinks, I will miss her when I get there. Maybe I'll get to see Kyo, or Cas. Tov might even name a constellation after me. He doesn't follow her, simply standing there and waiting for death to come. He doesn't care how it's done, whether it be a bullet through the chest or someone slams him to the ground and bashes his head in, it doesn't matter. If his last memory is one of pain, then so be it. He deserves it, after all this time of living past his expiration date.

See, it was as soon as he realized that Kyo would never love him back, it was when he first set his eyes on Asahi, it was when he stood on stage at graduation- those were the moments that told Nyx that he wouldn't make it past twenty. Here he is, though, twenty and something months, however many days over his allowance. He doesn't regret it, the moments he had in that stolen time. He was able to tell Tov he loved her, he got to tell Vera goodbye, he saw Aurien one last time and Solei, well, Solei is still alive. He just hopes that they're happy.

Nyx can't help but laugh- Tov will be absolutely furious with him for dying. For losing. At least, he hopes she hates him for it, that it makes it easier to accept that he's gone. Part of him still wishes he had done something other than laugh. He wishes that the last thing he said to her was something gentle, sweet, but he supposes it wouldn't have been true to form. He's not a sweet, gentle person. He's brittle and sharp around the edges and cruel when it counts, bitter when it hurts. Still, he wishes that he had done something better than laugh when she told him to win. He laughed because he had nothing to say, because he was surprised, because he was astounded that Tov thought he even stood a chance. After all, she knows the truth, that Cas threw the round, that he'd done it as some kind of sacrifice, some sick act of love.

(Really, Nyx should have known from the beginning, that something was off, that Cas wasn't trying as hard as he should have been, that he wasn't pouring his heart out into it like he would've been had the circumstances been different. He should've known that the calm, the acceptance in Cas' eyes was a harbinger of doom, an omen for what was to come. He didn't. He was too foolish, too naïve, too stupid to see the truth.)

When a hand clamps down over his mouth from behind him, he doesn't scream. He doesn't fight. He waits for the end, no resistance, no questions, no fear. Maybe that's why it takes him a moment to make out Aurien's voice, pleading with him.

"Nyx? Nyx, can you hear me?" He blinks, turning to see his little sister, standing stark in the darkness. Inky strands of hair is dripping into her wild eyes, she pulls down a mask covering her mouth, breathing heavily as she watches him.

"Aurien," he murmurs, breathing her name in a hushed whisper, reverent as a prayer. He takes a step forward and tucks her hair behind her ear, cupping her face with a hand, stroking his thumb down the delicate curve of her cheekbone, the gentle flutter of her eyelashes. She leans into his touch, smiling slightly and releasing a sigh of relief. "You're not supposed to be here." What happens next doesn't make sense, her eyes flashing open, fury flashing in their obsidian depths.

"Nyx," she intones, warning obvious in her tone. She places her hand on top of his, her jaw twitching with barely constrained rage.

"I've already stayed too long," he tells her, running his fingers through her hair, just as he used to when they were children and he was comforting her while she cried. "Please, save Lang instead. She doesn't deserve to die." She jerks backwards, ripping his hand away and stumbling, looking shaken to her core.

"What are you talking about?" She demands, throwing her hands up in the air. "You don't deserve to die, either." Nyx barks out a laugh, shaking his head.

"Of course, you would say that," he sighs, looking down at the ground. "But Cas died. He died so that I could live. Kyo is gone, Vera too, that's not even mentioning Tallis. You and Solei are happy, now. I'll just drag you down, with my cynicism, my baggage. You're better off forgetting about me."

"You-"

"I don't deserve to be saved."

"Well, good thing that I don't fucking care whether or not you deserve it," Aurien snaps, eyes flashing dangerously. "You're coming. We're saving you. No buts."

Of course, right after she says that, a whistle pierces the air and punctures her in the side. Right where she was shot the first time. Right where Cas was shot. Nyx catches her when she falls, grasping at her arms with shaking, sweaty hands. She coughs out blood onto his shoulder, trying to push herself back up and failing. Nyx should be helping her, he knows he should be helping her. After all, she's real.

But his vision is flickering in and out, Aurien's hair turning curly, the color of dried blood, hemoglobin on silk. She looks up at him, says something, but he can only see Castor's face, smiling at him with bloodied lips. Nyx can only hear the laugh that bubbled out of Castor in his last moments. Nyx's heart is beating the drums of war in his ears, chest heaving and tears budding in his eyes. He presses his hand to the wound in her side to stem the bleeding (like he did with Cas) and she hisses in pain just like Cas did.

Nyx chokes on his own breath, stuttering backwards, unable to do this any longer. Aurien makes a noise in surprise, crumpling to the floor, just like Cas did. Just like Cas did.

"It's not, real, he's gone," Nyx hiccups out, shaking his head, pressing the heels of his hands to his eyes. "He's gone, he's gone. Please, please," He repeats it, a broken record catching again on the needle, attempting to self-soothe in the face of a fracturing psyche.

"Onyx," a voice cuts through his delusions. He barely hears it and when a hand suddenly grabs his forearm, he flinches away on instinct, eyes wide, panic taking over every other faculty of his mind. The owner of the hand is he doesn't recognize, with white curly hair and a face mask just like the one Aurien was wearing, and they're looking at him sternly. "We need to get out of here."

"Wh- I- alright," Nyx acquiesces, too tired to fight anymore. "Where're we going?" His voice is hollowed out and rough, broken by his crying.

"Surveillance room," the white-haired person grunts out while picking up Aurien gingerly and holding her over their shoulder. "You know a way there?" Nyx nods, scanning his mind for the shortest route from the stage. He beckons them to follow him and darts off, lowering himself down off of the stage and going to the undercroft beneath the stage through a hidden panel. The person ducks in behind him, seeming surprised at where they end up, the racks of costumes, the tools and other supplies, microphones and cords strewn about. Nyx weaves through the mess quickly, leaving his companions to catch up as he rewires the lift to bypass the security lockdown.

"I wouldn't risk the lift if we didn't have someone injured," Nyx says quietly, fingers tangles and disentangling the cords he pulled from the outlet. Finally, the lift dings, the light turning on as the doors open with a hiss. The person holding Aurien nods to him and enters the lift. Nyx presses the button inside and opens up the admin panel to program a no-stop straight shot to the surveillance room. "See, the thing is, the undercroft and the surveillance room are directly connected because they're both backstage work areas." Nyx doesn't know why he's talking, not really, but the words are spilling out of him and it feels good to fill the silence up with something other than the hum of the electricity and the whispers in his head insisting that this isn't real either, he's already dead and this is some grandiose delusion of heaven.

They actually reach the surveillance room before the person holding Aurien even responds to his rambling which feels a bit like a blessing in disguise. There are two people already in the surveillance room, one of which whips around to face them while the other stays hunched over the admin panel, presumably doing damage control. Funnily enough, they look like Ryu and Ji-Woo but that's ridiculous. Those two went missing.

"Nyx?" The person that looks and sounds like Ryu exclaims, amber eyes widening. "Shit, what happened to Aurien, Bunny?!" The person carrying Aurien, Bunny apparently, lets out a sigh and walks out of the lift, dragging Nyx with them.

"She got shot, Ryu, obviously," Bunny answers. "Now, where's our muster point? We can't just hole up in here."

"I'm working on it," Ji-Woo barks out. Nyx has decided that they must be the real Ryu and Ji-Woo, no matter how ridiculous that is, because they both sound like them and look like them and Ryu got called Ryu by Bunny and Aurien is the real Aurien and- fuck, he should really just shut up. Ryu glances at Nyx out of the corner of his eye.

"Hey, are you okay?" Nyx blinks, frowning at Ryu in confusion. "You seem shaken up." Nyx stares at him for a moment longer before trying to smile.

"Never been better," he lies through his teeth. He's definitely been worse but suffice to say, this not one of his better days.

"I've got a muster point from Solei, c'mon, we need to go," Ji-Woo says as soon as he sends out a command for a system wide 24hr shut down. "We meet at docking bay 4D in the Φ wing. You know where that is?" Ji-Woo glances to Nyx who blinks in surprise before nodding. He finds his way to the front of their pack before darting ahead, scanning the hallways for any guards as he slowly orients himself and takes them through the weird back alleys of the arena.

"How do you even know these are here?" Ryu asks at some point while they're in an abandoned fuel cellar in Φ wing.

"Uh, trial and error mostly," Nyx replies as he tries to remember whether they go right or left from here. "Oryon took me to the last two seasons of ALNST but it didn't really supervise me well so I wandered around."

"And you never got caught?" Bunny inquires, skeptical and for good reason.

"Oh, it's left," Nyx realizes, beckoning them to follow him through the gap between two walls where there used to be insulation, before the wing was decommissioned and set for demolition. "I mean, I haven't gotten caught doing this yet." Finally, they emerge in the bay after going through the vault in the ceiling, where all the old electrical is still hanging from the rafters.

"You would have been useful to have when we did this before, Ji-Woo and I kept getting lost," Ryu remarks. Ji-Woo blushes and elbows his partner before breaking off to find Solei. He waves them over to a bulky object covered by a dusty tarp after a moment. He and Ryu drag the tarp off and Solei pops up from the bed of the truck, eyes huge and wary in the dim. Bunny settles into the bed of the truck as well, putting Aurien down gently in the pile of bedding there so that she won't get jostled too much. Solei chirps, panic obvious in their tone and Nyx feels guilt pool in his stomach. He gets into the passenger seat after Ji-Woo settles behind the wheel, unable to face his sister who he was unable to help when she needed and the friend who loves his sister as much as he does.

Nyx thinks the best thing that happened tonight was Lang surviving.

Perhaps, Nyx is not good at accepting good things.

I will tag @starry-skiez because Ryu & Ji-Woo belong to him, @bluemoonscape because Castor & Kyo belong to him, @apriciticreveries because she's Aurien's mama, @solei-eclipse is Solei's creator, @rosedeleca for Bunny & Rose. um. @zerostyrant because he asked to be tagged <3 oh and @ivanttakethis because i mention Tov <3