#because they have healed from grief of the past and achieved inner peace

[elisabethbabarci]

EMANCIPATION FROM DESTRUCTION

What is emancipation from destruction ? How is this achieved? Why is this significant for our path?

The true question that resides within all of us is how to transmute deep pain.

As we search deep within ourselves, we have experienced profound loss.

Loss has then caused us to fear a force beyond ourselves.

Individuals feel that to overcome the loss within we then must become what we fear or have to overcome.

There is a saying “Be careful that you do not become what you fight, for if you stare deep within the abyss of darkness, it shall look back on you.”

How to regain our emancipation? Our sovereignty? Our inner peace? How to seek refuge when all around us destruction might be evident.

We must first ask, is it true destruction or did we have a false sense of illusion that the foundation was strong and secure. You cannot build upon fragmented foundation.

One might ask , why are fragments important? The reason : when we loose a sense of self due to loss or grief or sadness , we then allow darkness in.

We have been trained by society or ingrained misguided direction that fragmentation of the soul means that we are broken beyond repair. However, what if we see it as an opportunity to view our scars , our battle scars if we will , that our scars are not flaws but an opportunity to allow light in? For a fundamental chance to heal , to overcome , to see that our scars are not tears but tiger stripes?

If we continuously chose war , we deteriorate , we loose life-force and sacred peace within.

If we see every individual or every opportunity as an obstacle , how then will we ever acknowledge the good, the pure, the light?

Are we fighting on the basis of an ideology or a war within ourselves?

If we have outgrown an ideology that means that we are finally transmuting the ego and becoming one with our higher conscious self.

If we seek to create turbulence within ourselves , we then create further disharmony within our bodies , our reality , until it metastasizes beyond repair.

I want you to always remember that you can transmute any situation for the better , no matter what obstacles you may face.

We are all given the gift of life with boundless opportunities to change our directions , to see new frontiers , to see a new alternative of choice.

To be a pillar of light , you must release what hurts your soul to the core. You must be brave to let go of what weights heavy on your heart, what causes to doubt yourself, what causes you to question safety or peace.

Fragments are an opportunity to examine what is causing us to become reactive — as it is a wound that needs to be healed.

No matter what mistakes or rough choices you have made , you always have the opportunity to return to the light within and use your story of overcoming destruction to help other souls along their journey.

To repair your soul you must come to terms with your past , you have to forgive yourself , and always ask not why are you experiencing the situation but what is it profoundly teaching you.

If you chose to build on a shaky foundation of past experiences it will dismantle your present as you will always be stuck in the past.

Choosing to end a battle or a war with yourself or externally does not constitute weakness , it exemplifies great strength and honour, for you have mastered the lesson, extracted the wisdom, and have decided to choose peace over destruction. Your struggles develop your core strength and experience no one can take away from you because when you decide to move forward you are building not from nothing but from experience.

Always remember — safety is felt within not fulfilled by a greater force external to us. Remember through suffering or hardships emerge the brightest strongest souls, for they have risen despite the odds. “If it doesn’t challenge you it won’t change you.”

Disconnect from destruction to reconnect with the self.

In healing , we experience first discomfort , then acceptance , then growth. Embrace change and challenges as it will clarify your path — obstacles help us to see the true situation.

In life , when all might seem uncertain , the two constant elements are divine timing and choices. Always navigate the complexities of existence without judgment — each experience speaks directly to the soul with a underlying reassurance that in life we must let go of control and past experiences and allow life to unfold in its natural state.

When we drop negative emotions we lift the cataracts and obstacles that are blocking an open mind and heart.

Be brave with every decision in your life. Please know that the Universe always presents us with an opportunity to choose peace, as peace is our natural state.

[karainball]

Is it necessary to forgive insults in order to move on?

Initially, the answer to this question may seem unambiguous to us - of course. After all, how else can we continue our journey in this harsh life with such a burden on our shoulders. However, is this really what is holding us back? How much do bad memories affect our lives? And do they have any effect at all, because this is far from our only concern - to look at our scars and think what caused them.

Many argue that forgiveness is the only way to healing.

They're probably right about something. It is possible to treat damage, the presence of which you do not recognize. But this does not mean that all paths lead to the same end. In order to start working on this part of yourself, it is enough to see and allow yourself to feel the pain that was inflicted on us earlier. It is not necessary to immediately rush with noble speeches that you have already let it go and do not hold a grudge against those people at all. At the very least, this is most likely not entirely true. As a maximum, it's not really healthy, hiding your feelings, pretending that you overcame it, you deprive yourself of the opportunity to live through the trauma and, subsequently, really let go.

Forgiveness is a skill we've been taught all our lives.

The idea that holding a grudge against offenders is almost a sin is laid down to us from an early age. Many parents said the hackneyed "be smarter / taller than them" and the like. Like, being offended by fools who call you tolstoy is a thankless thing. And even if they don't teach you to tolerate such an attitude towards yourself and encourage you to defend your borders, there will always be a couple of smart guys who will immediately call you a snitch. Understanding and forgiving immediately begins to sound like a better prospect.

In adult life, the rules do not change, only the methods change. Loud name-calling turns into obsessive advice, and accusations of snitching turn into stories about your hypersensitivity. At some point, it may really seem that the efforts to explain his condition, which has noticeably worsened from such verbal sparring, are in vain. It's easier not to be offended at all, that's why the whole team is spoiling the infusion.

Forgiveness is not for those who hurt you, it is for you.

Again, how to look at it. Of course, this idea sounds beautiful. Like, I'm so conscious of losing interest in constant whining about you and flourishing in my forgetfulness. Our option is still just to let go. And what about those nights that I cried into my pillow nonstop? Or tons of ice cream, which I ate my grief with? Surely all these sacrifices are for nothing. I'm kidding, obviously. But there is a fine line between not allowing a person to treat you badly and throwing tantrums like a young child.

And what if the abuser is a member of the inner circle? After all, they will never know how much I don't like their jokes about my failed personal life. "But I should just leave it in the past. I'm doing this for myself, not for them". However, for some reason this song doesn't calm me down at all. Someone will continue to behave in this way, maybe already with someone else, if I stop all communication with them, and new people will endlessly forgive them, for the sake of the illusion of the opportunity to amuse their ego with new achievements in the practice of "empty chair".

Is it worth trying to step over yourself for the sake of peace?

Ultimately, every person is different. Someone really needs to let go of the situation, let their resentment disappear and try to forget everything. And someone needs a reminder that the injury inflicted on them is not their fault at all. That there is a culprit in the world, and he has every right not to forgive him. A kind of power, I can stop being mad at you, or I can continue, I took these reins. People don't have to heal in order to eventually forgive or vice versa. The main thing in this situation, in any case, is yourself. Your feelings have been hurt, and trust has been undermined, and what to do next is up to you.

[elvesofnoldor]

.

[my-bated-breath]

Wants vs Need - A Comparison Between Kataang, Taang, and Zutara

A common source of conflict and theme developments within stories stems from the idea of Want vs Need, which effectively describes the difference in substance between ships like Kata/ang and ships like Zutara and Taang.

As so many meta have analyzed before, Kata/ang, as a relationship, places the emotional burden on Katara. More specifically, it forces her to be responsible for Aang’s happiness and well-being when he barely acknowledges Katara’s inner conflicts or desires. Even more than that, Katara is the embodiment of everything Aang believes he wants (compassion, kindness, peace) when refuses to see the more human parts of Katara (anger, grief, force), all of which I dissect in “On Ideals and Idealization.” Thus, rather than embracing the nuance in the divide between past and present, between war and peace, between justice and revenge, Aang stubbornly clings onto his perception of the Air Nomads’ beliefs - beliefs that he only shallowly understands.

The show itself even sets up a Want vs Need conflict for Aang in “The Guru” when he has to choose to let go of his selfish attachment of Katara to master the Avatar State, which can be interpreted to represent his need to let go of his blinding biases so that he can see the world’s truths and understand his responsibility to it (expanded upon in this ask).

It’s true that in the episodes “The Desert” and “The Serpent’s Pass” Katara and Aang find themselves in a state of conflict, but it is resolved in a way that only shallowly emulates a Want vs Need story. In both, Katara’s compassion serves as an anchor for Aang when his anger and grief threatens to overwhelm him, allowing him to remain hopeful even while Appa, his last living tether to the Air Nomads, is missing. These two episodes encapsulate Aang’s struggle as an Air Nomad as it shows him struggling to come to terms with the Air Nomad’s disappearance (symbolized by Appa’s disappearance) by recognizing the potential for a cultural revival (symbolized by Hope’s birth). However, Aang’s identity as an airbender in a world that has forgotten the Air Nomads is never fully realized, and so the effects of this conflict resolution never manifest in his character - Aang at the end of the series finale is not much wiser than Aang at “The Desert”/”The Serpent’s Pass,” so Katara’s role is reduced from the catalyst in extending Aang’s worldviews to someone who calms him down during a wrathful relapse of his usually sunshine-smiley self.

As for Katara herself? Her relationship with Aang pigeonholes her into one facet of her character - her kind and loving side - which is regressive rather than progressive in her series-wide character arc. In her confrontation against the Northern Water Tribe’s sexist norms, against Hama and the legacy of bloodbending, and against her mother’s killer and the implications of Fire Nation imperialism, Aang’s personal beliefs do not influence Katara’s in any constructive way. The most Aang ever provides to Katara as himself is a vehicle to achieve her goals, as his Avatar status allows her to travel the world with him. And so Katara fosters her agency and autonomy, expands her role in the world, and validates the importance of her feelings - all for what? For the last ten minutes of the finale to turn a light switch on her feelings for Aang and have them kiss without even a conversation beforehand.

Kata/aang is all about want. But Taang and Zutara are all about need.

Character conflict is not always necessary to write a compelling romance, and focusing solely on generating conflict often leads to the badly written melodrama and misunderstandings that often plague the romance genre today. So rather than focus on creating interest based on drama, the most captivating fictional relationships I’ve seen show how characters support each other’s needs over their wants.

The initial conflict between Toph and Aang delves into the essence of their characters and forces them to grow out of a stagnant viewpoint. From Toph’s introduction in “The Blind Bandit,” Aang and Toph clash because Aang wants Toph as an earthbending teacher while Toph doesn’t want to upset the delicate balance of her double life. But in his persistence, Aang has broken both the illusion of the unshakable Earth Rumbler and the fragile noblewoman to uncover the true Toph that exists in the space between her two identities. Unsurprisingly, Toph’s determination in upholding her current life is reflective of the element she bends and the downfalls of an earthbender’s philosophy - determination can become rigid and stagnant. So though she claims she doesn’t want Aang interfering in her life, underneath all her stubbornness lies a need for freedom, and fittingly enough, it is Aang who recognizes this and grants it to her. Aang is much more than a vehicle in this case - he’s the one who changes Toph’s mind.

More obviously, in the episode “Hard Work,” Aang and Toph reach an impasse again as Aang struggles both with learning earthbending and with working with his earthbending master. It’s quite telling that Katara’s suggestion - to be gentle and encouraging with Aang - is regressive to Aang’s progress while portraying Katara’s personality rather one dimensionally. In other words, she gives into Aang’s wants. What he needs, however, is as Toph says: to face his problems head on. So she forces Aang to solve his problems not the way he wants to solve it - with evasion and clever-thinking - but the way he needs to solve it - only then is he able to master earthbending.

While Toph and Aang have a significant impact on each other within the second season, Zuko and Katara’s complementary stories span the entire series. As I’ve said (too many times) before, Zuko and Katara are pivotal to each other’s character arcs while remaining autonomous from one another. Although Iroh’s influence on Zuko’s redemption cannot be emphasized enough, Katara’s offer to heal Zuko in the Crystal Catacombs holds the most symbolic weight in the series, especially because it is an offer extended by a formerly irreconcilable enemy. Beyond his desire to please his father and beyond his former attempts to capture Aang, through common ground Katara is able to recognize the need for Zuko to move on and a chance for him to redeem himself. Katara plants a seed of doubt in his mind, as well as elicits a small spark of hope within him. Then, after changing sides, Zuko wants to belong with the Gaang, but Katara affirms that he first needs to accept the responsibility of his legacy and to prove that he will make amends.

As for Katara, Zuko represents the possibility of peace between the Fire Nation and the Water Tribes, which is first realized in the Crystal Catacombs. Then, in the Southern Raiders, Katara wants to hold onto her resentment against Zuko and the Fire Nation, but what Zuko recognizes is that she needs to find closure over her mother’s death.

What is truly incredible is that their importance to each other does not diminish with their conflict - outside his uncle’s tent the night before Sozin’s Comet, it is Katara who recognizes what Zuko needs to hear (that he has earned his forgiveness) before he can chase after what he wants (to reunite with Iroh). Zuko and Katara clearly have an impact on each other’s character arcs, and by recognizing each other’s needs under a facade of wants, they demonstrate bone-deep compatibility and understanding.

So, once again - Kata/ang’s conflicts are destructive, but Taang and Zutara’s conflicts are constructive. Kata/ang never challenge each other, but Taang and Zutara do. Kata/aang is all about want, but Taang and Zutara are all about need.

[girllovescomic]

An analysis of our OTP as we go toward the end

With the help of Karen Ly (Twitter), I found this post on Weibo and Google translated it.  I think this really encapsulate what I think of both characters

After watching the 60~63 episodes, my dissatisfaction with the plot has calmed down a bit, not only because the appearance of the king in these episodes is too high (this is the main reason, it is really love every frame of every line) , Also because the behavior logic of most characters can be explained. I think the Hulan episode of 58~59 broke so badly because the changes in Helan Zhen couldn't convince me at all. It was not like he could do it.

Let me talk about Xiao Qi first. Since the battle of Neem Hayama, I have been thinking about his return. I know it will be good, but it is better than I imagined again. Has Xiao Qi changed? Yes, it is not. Xiao Qi is a person with extremely strong inner world and self-awareness. He has gone all the way from the Cambrian to an extremely human minister. No matter how the outside world changes, he can hardly shake his self-constructed spiritual world. He knew exactly what he wanted along the way. He was a hero with the world in mind. Power and status were never the goals he pursued, but the means to help him achieve his ideals, so neither threat nor temptation would let him shake. This is why Wang Lin said that he always looked at people accurately, but he misunderstood Xiao Qi. After all, this son-in-law is not a mortal. From the time when he entered Beijing to be the king to the Lianyu Mountain Incident, Xiao Qi's attitude towards the royal family and the nobles of the Manchu clan was always neither humble nor overbearing, courteous and courteous. After being aware of the emperor’s scruples about his merits, he took the initiative to resign. . He is always smart, sober and restrained. After the return, he did not accept the order twice, and the face of the king did not worship the palace with the sword. He was arrogant and domineering, watching the world, just like the two of the past restraint and forbearance. But when Xiao Qi, who had restrained his modesty at the beginning, could ever afford these nobles? Today, he just didn't hesitate to hide his contempt and anger, for the sake of the dead Ning Shuo soldier, and for his ideals and beliefs. Xiao Qi is a person who has always acted in accordance with his inner rules, and this has never changed. In the past, he thought that by being close to the center of power, he could better realize the ideal of guarding his family and protecting the country and allowing the people to live and work in peace. After Xie Shouzheng's corruption incident and close talks with Zilong, he has realized that the corruption of the court and the family is a chronic disease. It is difficult to heal, so the meaning of retreat was born. Xiao Qi before Lian Yushan should be struggling. Although returning to Ningshuo was far away from the power struggle, he could only keep one side of the country safe and farther away from his great cause. The tragedy of Mt. Neem changed everything. The moment God of War, Xiao Qi, looked hollow and confused. In addition to his extremely overdrawn body, there was probably a collapse of faith and despair of the country and court he tried to protect.

The next few episodes are completely depressive. Xiao Qi is silent. In a one-man show with almost no lines, he cried silently. He galloped in the wilderness, he looked up at the sky in the courtyard, he was by the river. Pressing his forehead lightly against the horse, he grieves, angers, reflects, reconstructs his will, and strengthens his determination to revenge. The accumulated power reaches people's hearts through the screen. With such a layer upon layer of progressive paving, the outbreak after the return is extremely hearty. Xiao Qi came back, and he couldn't get through according to your rules in the past, so just follow my rules and see if any of you has the ability to stop me.

Similarly, the scenes after the return were progressive. When they were refused entry into Ningshuo City, they lowered their stance, were polite and courteous, and had a sincere attitude. When they saw Ningshuo soldiers swearing allegiance to the death, it was hard to hide their excitement. The voice choked for a while, this was the first emotional vent since Neem Yushan suppressed Yin Ren. When I saw Wyen (I love this scene very much, I repeatedly brushed it), the short conversation undercurrents surged and was extremely wonderful. Xiao Qi's eyes staring at Wyan were a little bit probing at first (want to see how many shadows there were in Wyan in the past), and gradually became cold (are you here to welcome me or stop me), and then became threatening and provocative ( Who will do it this time, is it you, Su Yibo), mentioning that Guanglie and Soldier Ningshuo are uncontrollable anger (this is the second emotional vent), and then return to calm, the disappointment and steel The same unchangeable will is chilling. I always felt that Liu Duanduan's interpretation was a bit too much, but this scene was also excellent, and the process of Wyan's inner anxiety, hesitation, and final break was very complete.

This period of entering the city was another highlight moment, and the whole confrontation was relaxed, and it was repeated several times. Personally, my favorite is the body language of the king in this scene, which is really domineering every time he raises his hand and turns around. Hearing the order to accept the order, he slightly leaned over to help the grandmother who was about to kneel down, stepped forward slowly, stopped sideways, and took the order, resolutely and beyond doubt. A few actions have made people see the aggressive attitude of King Yuzhang after his return. He just wants to clearly tell the emperor and these officials that his patience has been exhausted, and he will not leave them half face or give them any more. They stayed a little bit of retreat until the truth was found out and the real murderer came to the rescue. After Ma San arrived, he seemed to be holding a low posture, but in fact he was always in front of him. The connotation of his words is that Xiao Qi led soldiers to threaten the monarchy, committing chaos (you bring 100,000 soldiers, I will agree to anything you want), and put yourself in morals The commanding heights place Xiao Qi unrighteous, thereby confuses the public and avoids Xiao Qi's questioning of Lian Yushan. The confrontation was pushed to the apex when he said "Fight against me until King Yu Zhang is satisfied". At this time, Xiao Qi still looked directly at Ma San, his eyes were not evasive, but he took a deep breath that was hardly noticeable. , Looked up slightly, he was suspicious and inquiring about Ma San, and the anger at him for putting himself here was expressed vividly and vividly in this slight look up. After Wang Su quickly handed everyone a step and got a promise that he could self-check the truth, he took the opportunity to give in, bowed his head, and the confrontation ended. The rhythm of the subtleties is too good.

Talking about entering the hall in white, all the restraints in the front have been pave the way for the most heartfelt lift. As he approached the throne step by step, he was like an angry lion, showing the air of a king. Ma San was forced by such a momentum, his eyes were evasive, and his inner fear was self-evident. Here is an interruption of Wyan's eyes, which are worship, shock, and loss. He probably realized that he would never be able to surpass Xiao Qi. Then, it came to the monologue on Xiaoqi Hall. This paragraph kicked me to the bottom of the pit and never wanted to come out again. This third emotional catharsis directly pushed the contradictions to the peak. The anger, grief, and contempt for the nobles since Mt. Neem poured out like a rainbow, and finally received a meaningful look in front of the throne. At that time, he was as dangerous as a black panther waiting for an opportunity.

Should such Xiao Qi be proclaimed emperor? There are many voices on the Internet questioning that Xiao Qi’s retreat is the "heart of the Father" and the collapse of human design. I think this is a simple and rude categorization in the Internet age. The term "personal design" is even more annoying. How can the complexity of human nature be summed up with a simple facial makeup? Everything needs to be viewed in the context of an era. Monarchs and ministers are the head of the five Confucian ethics. The usurpation of the king and the killing of the emperor must be a shame in the history books. Even big ambitious people like Cao Cao have scruples. Need to hold the emperor to make the princes. The founding emperors who have changed dynasties in the past have all found various so-called apocalypses and signs to prove that the previous dynasties are exhausted. For Xiao Qi, a hero who takes the responsibility of defending his family and the country and has the world in his heart, he should not be easy to make such a choice. This is not the so-called Father's Heart, nor loyalty, but is restricted by the value system of that era. Of course, Xiao Qi is by no means a pedantic person, otherwise there would be no such thing as instigating many feudal vassals to ask for the gift of nine tins. The key is to see what he ultimately wants to achieve. For a person like him who follows his inner rules, I am curious how Zhou Yiwei will perform and convince us of his final choice.

Let's talk about Awu. Although I still feel that many details of the plot cannot withstand scrutiny, the direction of the character Awu is generally logical. First of all, Awu is not an ordinary woman. She has independent self-awareness and values. The love between her and Xiao Qi is based on the mutual attraction of two independent personalities. The other party. Such a woman naturally has a bigger pattern. She understands Xiao Qi's ideals. She was born in a family and was perfectly protected since she was a child. She didn't realize the taste of betrayal until she was involved in her father's plot and trade as a pawn. I think a drama review I watched before is very well written, to the effect that Awu’s noble spiritual world makes her not disdain to participate in the conspiracy, or even hate those who hurt her (such as Su Jin’er, more It is disgust, that she is a poor person). She hated her for the first time when she thought that He Lanzhen killed Xiao Qi. Xiao Qi is her bottom line, so she will do everything she can to die with him. Regarding the queen mother, after guessing that the emperor's uncle was murdered by her, Awu kept alienating her; after returning to Beijing, she felt compassionate when she saw the tragedy of the queen mother. This is also very controversial on the Internet, but after all, the layout of Neem Hayama has not been fully investigated, and it is understandable to have pity for the aunt who watched him grow up. (Of course, I didn't convince myself too much. There were still omissions in the plot. Ordinarily, she and Xiao Qi should be able to see the role of the queen mother). To Ma San, she was shocked to a large extent. After all, she grew up with her childhood sweetheart. She probably couldn't believe that he had become like this. She chose not to tell Xiao Qi not because she wanted to let Ma San go, but because she didn't think about what the consequences of this incident would be, and how this consequence would affect Xiao Qi and the situation in the world. So I don’t think that the hostess is overwhelmed by the heart of the Virgin. Her response to these people is different, and the way of coping is also considered according to different situations. Regarding the truth about Neem Yushan, she did have a disagreement with Xiao Qi. In the play, she mentioned letting go twice, one was when she went to Beijing to talk at home after returning to the government, hoping that Xiao Qi would not kill more after finding out the truth; Bian, asked Xiao Qi if he could put aside the things in front of him and live his own life. Two times, Xiao Qi didn't agree, he never gave her a promise that she couldn't make (here again). I think it is reasonable to think this way from the perspective of Auntie. First of all, she could not fully understand Xiao Qi’s brotherhood of life and death towards Ning Shuo’s soldiers. Second, she could not fully understand Xiao Qi’s pain and hatred unless he had personally experienced the affairs of Yushan. (On this matter, probably only Hu Yao Understand the king, please refer to See the eyes of the king and Hu Yao reuniting). So I think that although Ah Wu can understand Xiao Qi's ideals of the world on a large scale, he does not fully understand Xiao Qi's will and determination to revenge. She is afraid of the prospect of the rain coming, she is afraid of losing Xiao Qi, and also afraid that Xiao Qi will go on the road of murdering the king for revenge, and even more afraid of the bloody wind that will follow, which change of dynasty in history It didn't come by walking on the sea of ​​blood. However, this disagreement does not mean that the love between 57 has faded. In fact, their lives have been more deeply blended together (Auntie said, you are the most important person in my life; Xiao Qi said, to you never change). Auntie chose to stand with Xiao Qi on key matters. For example, when she entered Beijing, she refused to help Wang Yu persuade Xiao Qi, and followed Xiao Qi twice to bow down. (Here I want to emphasize the background of the times and not follow the rule of the monarch Ceremony is to pretend to be a big deal). He loves her, so he understands and tolerates her care for the family to the greatest extent; she loves him, even if she does not fully understand, she will respect his choice. This is the love between adults without blood.

Other characters who have the same acting online include the prime minister who is always conscientious in his career, and the queen mother who has hysteria to get up and pull his enemies into the water, finally wakes up to the elder brother who is firm in his career, and even the black line of love and brains, Ma San, their wonderful makes My resentment for the first episode of Hulan has fallen, and I moved a small bench to wait for the last 5 episodes...

[thesagedahlia]

🎭 Gemini Season (May. 20-June 21st) ♊

🌬

Vitality is coming through in order to tackle any blocks you have toward a specific goal. Changes will happen with an unexpected nature, but that shouldn't be enough to be able to count you out. There may have been disappointments that caused someone to deal with great lengths of grief or sorrow, but the only option one has is to keep pushing forward with better judgment, brought by past situations that may have acted as conflict for them. Seeing forth to the future, there is anticipation & a determined spirit that radiates from someone's thoughts & feelings, once they withdraw from the emotional side of the situation that may be keeping them in a sad place. It seems to be a hidden passion or desire that is causing emotions to bubble up from the surface, & it may need to be someone who has to manifest their emotions through a concrete way in order to avoid an explosion of passion; something that is constructive, yet disorganized. There needs to be mastery of what one is feeling, because the execution depends on its stability & foundations. As long as the will is organized, & not misinterpreted, there will be a well deserved result that comes from this expression & sharing one's voice. This may be an important heart to heart conversation someone is needing to have with another person, & that important person can very well be yourself. You may be looking at things through fresh eyes, & are looking & determined to remain young in body, mind & soul. In a lot of ways, this is having to do with expression & embracing one's weirdness. Some of you may be wanting to face your true north in life, & others are trying to detach themselves from the outside world & are following wherever their instincts are driving them.

🔮 Crystal for 🌬 signs

Cavansite: Expand your consciousness.

👭🏿

It is being revealed to you about a situation that is keeping someone stuck or bogged down, & someone is focused about communication or a conversation, but is uncertain about how it will turn out. For others, someone is either feeling hopeless about not knowing much to the meaning of life, & are confused about where their focus should be in that regard. Someone's social circle may be a dominant factor in their life or it has an influence on them, & they are the type of people to give flattery in order to gain compassion. There is a strategy behind the connection with this person/people, & these may be people who are stressful or overwhelming to deal with. Someone may be needing to walk away from this situation, or talk things out about what feels like too much responsibility, or someone could be dealing with obstacles in society, or challenges with communities that comes off as selling deception to other people, which is causing confusion in social life or a relationship for someone, as well as challenges resulting from uncertainty, or being stuck in a confused situation. This can all be regarding a business situation/group/contract that may be less than secure. Someone is needing to be committed to making a decision regarding this, because there are fears of something failing. Someone's luck with a connection is decaying, & there is nothing but conflict to come out of it.

⚖

Someone is trying to enter a new phase into their path, & for some this can involve getting a business off the ground, or being involved in a lot of determination & focus on one's goals/relationships. When it comes to your community, or the people closest to you, they see you as a very wealthy person; which can act as a double edged sword. For someone, you're financially supportive of this community (or this community can pertain to family), & this can be a situation that's lacking balance. Someone may be needing to put this situation to an end, due to there not being so much balance in their work or there is too much work or responsibility for someone to handle. For some, this is directly related to a marriage & working on certain financial issues, for others this can be parents or older family members. Someone may feel that they are privileged to receiving what comes from this hard working person, & this is an imprisoning conflict for them. This can also be a matter of a married couple taking care of older family members of the either partner, but it is coming up as a thieving issue. Someone may be expecting a fortune of this hard working person's progress, but there may be some strategy of spreading a misconception about a message of concern regarding this wealthier person, wanting to drive a wedge into someone's courtship, or trust from the family; someone is wanting to manipulate a situation into their favor.

🤖

Someone may be dealing with a person who can be draining of their energy or finances, or they could work themselves into the ground a lot. This can be causing someone to be in bad shape, even in the face of blessings. Someone may be subjected to a legal challenge or dispute that is the clear cause of why someone may be having a drain in finances, or someone could be coming into some kind of inheritance that is an unexpected gift or income. A lovers connection may be running it's course or it has become the source for boredom. Some may be wanting to break away from a relationship with someone who isn't producing anything positive, let alone any balance. A new beginning is something you want, but a leap of faith needs to be had. Someone is having thoughts of going onto a new pathway going toward what they consider great fortune, but until that can happen, an end to this previous position that isn't serving them. Someone may be fearing having to give their fortunes or their money to the connection any further, because there is concern of theft. Even in searching for a way out of a crippling relationship, action toward this is delayed due to a lack of focus or lack of strength; this seems to be a very draining situation that they are in, & the only way they can pull it off is when they feel they are in the right position to take certain initiatives.

🌊

Power & strength can lie in being able to have control over your heart space & emotions, & sometimes instability or imbalance can bring their own problems when you either are suppressing, or misunderstanding your emotions. Sometimes we have to deal with negative cycles, usually to learn a lesson. It is one thing to mentally interpret the solutions available to you, but it is another to absorb it in order to execute the change that comes after. For some, transformation will attract major stability after ending a rough cycle, & others may be taking this season to relish in the new cycle of their own. Power is within yourself to get through another tough cycle, & but it can't be of any use if one isn't able to tap into that part of themselves that is connected to their faith in their growth/capability. It is coming to completion of someone who has been learning to balance the elements within themselves & they are more determined to go within & retreat for spiritual purposes (that, or this will coming up for someone during this season). Someone has their vital masculine drive to be underactive or overactive, which could be resulting in them lacking in willpower, initiative, or instability in a financial sense. More aggression or assertion of one's own initiative is being allowed by way of one's ancestors; as long as they are tapped in & aware of their presence, you can get further past any obstacles that they can remove for you. This is a call to activate your higher self & find joy in the life lessons you are being pushed to learn; some of you are being asked to give up the victim role & start living in purpose. You can find a passion for doing & creating what has not been done before, as the true pioneer you are capable to be.

🔮 Crystal for 🌊 signs

Amethyst: Get drunk on your highest self.

🦀

Someone may be going through some inner child healing/cycles to get rid of the false/poor sense of self. Someone is having trouble getting to a more mentally stable place in order to create inner peace/balance. Ending cycles have been happening for some time lately, & it may be causing a slow recovery & discovery of mental strength. Someone is privileged to great fortune, but they are dealing with mental states of concern that is causing stagnation. Someone is taking on the path of being in business for themselves, or coming from an occupation that wasn't for them & thinking to start over. Someone is wanting or expecting to start a family in a new location, or someone is wanting to travel to/away from family (or someone could be thinking a lot about foundations in general). You may not expect to really be on the same page with family members, & someone may not want you to be away from them, or they may not approve with what you may want to do for success in your life that is a real passion. Someone doesn't feel the need to be dependent on family, or doesn't want to be dependent on, & for some family members there is a strategy to allow yourself to be in a dependent situation in an effort to achieve certain goals/benefits. It has become a lot of responsibility to take on, & someone is needing to take whatever initiative that they feel they need to take instinctively to have solo success. If the initiative is to be still, be still; sometimes we take action by needing to be inactive.

🦂

Someone may be having a conflict dealing with an envious or jealous person, & for some of you this is an (older) family member. There is a feeling of being trapped in conflict due to someone who may be always seeking it. This can be interfering with a partnership of some kind. There is an antagonistic or extreme energy this is always clashing with you, & this is a false person that someone needs to move away from. Someone needs to take that initiative to remove themselves from people or situations that are too taxing of your energy. There is a false person robbing someone of their energy, & they come off as an innocent person, but they is really a hidden intention or motive behind them. Moving away from this energy/person is going to bring in unexpected income or sudden wealth to someone, & it may be of a true connection with a person that will exceed one's expectations. For some, they need to separate from family that is dependent or expectant of someone's fortune, & there are thoughts/feelings to create distance between them. Someone may be needing to come to the conclusion to move away, but there may be lack of focus or clarity that needs to be addressed & organized. This is an energy that is concerning or imprisoning, & change is something that is needed to happen through one's own faith. Someone may be thinking of moving forward with someone else who has been at the back of their mind. Communicating this lack of compromise may be someone's focus.

🐡

Someone is going within themselves & is (self) reflecting on one how work or relationships have been affecting them & their energy. There may be some stresses that are coming up to be examined, & some of you have been working so hard with the desire to have the high honors to show for it. Someone may be receiving a message of concern about not being aligned with what they're wanting to do in life, & it may be time to make a change that aligns with your true feelings & desires. In staying in a situation that doesn't balance yourself out will only cause stagnant or slow growth, & it is also allowing them to embrace a false version of themselves. There is a fear of change because of the expectations of not getting to where you want to be, but that should be the least of your worries. If you're energy is being robbed by your job/relationships/environment, then there needs to be an ending. The path to great fortune isn't always going to involve toil & labor, & sometimes your intuition can be nagging you about that much to your aware. It may be an issue that someone can't get on too of everything, or someone may be worried about having to wait on what will truly be a preferred occupation. The only thing keeping you at an job is the expectation that you will receive what you have earned, but it can ultimately cost you the price of your physical/mental health if you're not careful. Someone may be hoping to create distance from this false reality & are wanting to get on their actual path/journey.

🔥

Some conflict may be coming up in the form of karmic relationships, or deceptive energy, that may be causing oppression. Someone may be basing their hopes the ability to imagine a better situation after an unfavorable outcome or having to face a sacrifice or loss. Aside from the uncontrolled energy around you, there seems to be a magnetism, power, or strength that keeps focus & movement on what is constructive, but it is possible that some others may be feeling the destructive effects being caught up in such difficult energy. There is peace & tranquility in doing things in a soloist fashion, but it is up to the individual whether they choose to let these cycles define them, or make them into a stronger person. Someone is becoming devoted to protecting their crops of growth/energy from vibrations that seek to destroy, & they're going within a lot more to have the clarity to tackle these obstacles. Others may already be past this energy & is maintaining stability with their own energy. Balance (within or without) is going to be the focus for some this season or taking the action toward creating that balance for themselves, & others it will maintaining this balance. Someone may have to head face first into their problems, only in pursuit to make it to the other side. There is a purpose to all of this, & that is what this journey is teaching someone; that devotion to one's path will allow them the strength in their movements & vocalizations. If there are restrictions to how you express yourself or your voice/actions, they may be there out of fear & should be lifted, for the power in your initiative is where a lot of the skill in balance lies.

🔮 Crystal for 🔥 signs

Danburite: Turn on your electric light.

🦁

There may have been some destructive or out-of-control energy that has called for strict distance. There may be some communication coming in with someone who may have been an aggressive or conflicting person, who may be trying to take a more gentle & mature approach since the last time dealing with them. Some of you are receiving an apology because of this behavior from the past, or some may be giving an apology. Someone may have went through a lot of emotional or mental turmoil because of dealing with in ending that ended in a neutral fashion, yet caused a lot of pain or imprisonment of one's pain/thoughts regarding this situation. Someone is trapped by their emotions for another & they seem to be all they think about. This feels like someone expecting to receive an apology, or they are expecting to hear from someone, because the more this person thinks about them, they feel the pull toward them. The only issue is there needs to be a stable person to approach this; the person being thought of has certain expectations for the people they let into their life. There was a false start, or premature ending to a potentially abundant courtship because of someone's immaturity, & it is haunting someone's subconscious, which is triggering who's being pined after. What is deeply disturbing someone & causing fear/anxiety is that their person is now convinced that they are fraudulent & that they won't be heard; they are exuding the energy that they are picky about who they let in & someone is picking up on that.

🐎

There may be some controlling people around you that are trying to get to someone's abundance, & this can be pertaining directly to family inheritance, or familial responsibilities. Some of you may be talking care of an older family member that is sitting on great fortune, but there may be no balance in the say so of who is entitled to what. Others may feel they are deserving of what is inherently yours (whether it is family inheritance or a job/career advancement. This may be a situation that is allowing stagnancy in someone or in a commitment/situation, & it may have to be an ending that is being delayed by fear or inability to change. For some, there is a partnership/marriage that may be going through a division of a fortune (or divorce) that may be a contract that is broken. Others are dealing with family issues regarding finances in some way. This may be a lot of labor put onto one person, & it is causing stress & despair, & going through the (court) proceedings in order to have freedom from the stress. Some may feel empathy in this case where they feel they don't have a choice, which is making them feel vulnerable. Someone may feel this is an issue of rank, or someone's ability to attain a certain security away from this energy, & this can be a dependency situation for both parties involved for some. A family member may have been poverty stricken, which is what is keeping someone in this cycle of responsibility. Someone is wanting to follow a path that is destined, but there may be a feeling of being overworked & not being able to break free from this codependency energy.

🐏

There is a need for a change of scenery or a need to embark on a journey, because someone may be feeling imprisoned where they are. This may be related to broken family aspects or disharmony in the home. Someone is distressed about a false person, or dishonesty, in a family dynamic, that is causing much despair. For some, there is financial responsibility that is causing someone to be drained of their money, for others this is matter of someone's energy needing to be protected from vampiric conditions/people. Someone's environment is really bringing themselves to a place of feeling lack, of either self or of material income. There is a need to communicate this stress, but in an effort to end the arrangement rather than compromise. Someone is needing to move away from this situation (for some, this is depicting an actual move out of a family home), & they are grinding to get to that point. Someone's thinking of letting go, but are also taking into consideration what is going to go into this separation, & for some there may have been legal action taken (or it will need to be taken). Someone is hoping to be able to make this change & the people around them are concerned for this. There may be a lack of confidence in this journey because they haven't gotten to a place where they feel they will have this opportunity, so the clarity of this execution will be the focus. Someone is fearing making a bad choice, having unwanted opinions or lack of opportunities.

🌍

There may be some inner conflict or strife within yourself about what is & what isn't. Resentments may be doing more damage to someone than those they may be holding them against, or someone feels unsure, or is lacking real clarity, about what is being presented to them, versus the actions that should be taken. You may be questioning everything you ever knew about entering a new beginning for yourself, whether that may be regarding trusting the signs you get or yourself. Some are able to have fairness in judgment, while others may need to tap into this knowing. Behind this clarity is the answer to your soul's calling, which may have been keeping you on the other side of the gate out of dealing with a war within yourself. It may behoove you to accept the contradictions as well as what you find to be needed that is obvious; facing union of the opposites to reach a greater strength that will be conducive to your growth. For some, there is a lack of acceptance of what someone is capable of; good & bad. For others, an abundance of energy within oneself can either be productive or destructive; depending on the filtering process of the proper balance of the two. When change is happening, the outcome can be unstable if those involved are. You should change your focus to healing yourself from whatever is active within you that is unstable. As someone who can be a, healer, teacher, mystic, priest(ess), or plainly someone of a very equally powerful nature, you are asked to hone & sharpen your skills in whatever you are called to do in serving humanity with humility, & you are needing to pay attention & weight the forces you wish to put into action. Beauty & devotion can come from the right energy being put into these new cycles, but be careful that you neither act through contradictory behavior, nor allow such causes to go to waste.

🔮 Crystal for 🌍 signs

Sapphire: Find your tranquil place.

👰🏾

Someone is feeling some heartache or pain in dealing with their emotional health/situation due to a loss (of anything tangible; from money to relationships). It may be oppressing someone to open up to what is causing them confusion or fear because of the emotional control that they don't try to let go of. Someone may be in bad shape about what is keeping them in their emotions, & for some this can be because of an elder that may live in the home that may be needing financial help (or they don't have to live at home, nor another person). A lot of it may have to do with what is expected to be given, & someone may be seeing the truth of what others may want from them, or what is being expected of oneself to be able to open up to examine their own personal power through experience. Loss can be what is keeping someone in a challenging place, & they might be receiving signs/communication about it. This may be something that you may have already been aware of but hasn't investigated it further. Someone may be overwhelmed by toil & labor that has been brought upon by this loss, & it may be affecting a community of people for some. As you assess the situation, you may have realized there are decisions regarding the home that will be interfering with some unexpected income that will be rewarded (which can be achieved through acceptance of departure from a situation). Change can happen through a transformation in perspective, but fear of change (within the family) may be keeping one from it.

🐐

Someone may have been expecting to hear from a certain person through some sort of communication/message, but they may have been trapped in the mindset of expectations regarding someone specific. Being put in a state of waiting to hear from this person may have caused someone to feel the need to make a change themselves. Someone may have thrown themselves into stressful, back breaking work, that was able to distract from the problem at hand, but this self imprisonment is coming up in regards to a relationship with a person that they feel very passionate about. Someone is considering this person to be of great fortune to them, however an amicable or neutral ending has occurred which has left someone feeling trapped by the way they feel; which is bringing up concern in regards to this person. There is no question that there was lack of completion here for someone, but a new cycle beginning between these two parties is bound to happen, if this concerned person has any say in it. What caused separation in the past was the work behind false people within a community, which can point directly to family or someone's social circle. All this concerned person wants is to build with this other person, but they feel powerless by this ending & are deeply saddened about it. This courtship was much more abundant than what other people led someone to believe, & for some they wanted to keep this person away from their true potential. Someone wants to reach out, but may be feeling unfocused with scattered emotions/thoughts or scared to do so; they may already feel the opportunity has been missed.

🐂

It appears to be an unfair outcome to a situation that may have caused distance within a relationship. While one energy is wanting that courtship to work out, the other energy is expecting of it, even at a very large distance from one another. Not only is this courtship wanted, there is concern on how & if it will happen. Someone may have been keeping controlling people around, or have been overwhelmed by responsibility at home; a specific scenario is someone dealing with a live in situation with a false person that you may have loved once but ended in theft or loss (most of you have children together, hence why you may still be living with them). The problem with leaving this other person may be directly tied to someone's finances, & they may need to be ironed out legally (this can be a divorce for someone). Someone may be overwhelmed emotionally & physically by this situation, which is further stagnating them on their path. Independence for oneself may be the focus, because someone is dealing with false people/person that may be people at work, or in business with you. For some, you may be thinking to begin a business venture or partnership but the person considered isn't who they say they are. The only solution is getting away from those who don't have your best interest at heart, & defend a relationship that may have you emotionally invested.

*this reading is intended for air (Gemini, Libra, Aquarius), water (Cancer, Scorpio, Pisces), fire (Leo, Sagittarius, Aries), & earth (Virgo, Capricorn, Taurus) sun, moon, rising, & venus placements, & is intended for entertainment purposes only, energy is fluid not linear, roles are interchangeable, cross readers (reading for another person's sign) should pick their energy in the scenario, take what resonates, leave the rest*

[huntertales]

Part One: I Say A Little Prayer. (I Think I’m Gonna Like It Here S09E01)

Episode Summary: The Winchesters are left in a frantic state after the reader collapses, setting off a chain reaction of events with deadly consequences. Out of desperation, Dean sends out a prayer and meets an angel named Ezekiel, both of them make a unorthodox benefiting both parties while the reader fights for her life. Pairing: Dean Winchester x Reader Episode Warning: Heavy angst, mentions of childbirth, stillbirth aftermath, character death(s), hints of depression. Word Count: 5,025.

Previous Part | Supernatural Rewrite Masterlist

“The MRI shows massive internal burns affecting many of the major organs. Oxygen to the brain has been severely deprived...”

Sam could hear what the doctor was trying to say, but he couldn’t get himself to listen to  much of anything. He blamed it on the lack of sleep he had gotten since this ordeal unraveled. He was exhausted, his body felt heavy. Every part of him wanted to rest his eyes even if it was just for a few minutes. But his mind wouldn’t let him. He feared if he took his attention off of you for even the slightest second something worse could happen. Not that it already did. How much worse could this situation get? You were lying in a hospital bed apparently in a comatose state while Dean had to make arrangements for a human life that never got a fighting chance. To see what life could offer them. To see how much love their parents could give them. Sam tried to share the burden of the decisions, but each time he tried to help, his older brother butted him out. It was Dean’s child, it was his decision for what needed to be done. 

Sam was left with his thoughts as he sat in this hospital chair, staring...thinking about all the ways he let you down. He had been there with you every step of the way. How did he not see the warning signs earlier? And if he did, would have it made a difference? He watched as the months passed by and the effects of the trials slowly wither you away into the deranged, hopefully hopeless woman who just wanted to do good. Who tried her hardest to achieve that and some inner peace for all the past mistakes she made. In the end, no matter how good you had done, it never felt good enough. You always thought the choices you made were the wrong one. The people you love trusted you, just at arm’s length. Not enough for you to do a little heavy lifting and save the day.

Sam understood where you were coming from on a deeper level, more than Dean could ever try. He understood why you were doing this. It was more than just making a better future for yourself and the child that you were carrying. Somehow the trials messed with your head along the way and filled it with false hope that you didn't need to achieve. They made you believe all the damage you were doing to your body was somehow purifying you. Cleansing away the demon blood that was most likely gone by now. You could take the demon out of the girl, and she would still believe she was a monster. Sam felt like that a lot himself. He could save hundreds of lives and yet it couldn’t make up for the ones he lost. The people he hurt over the years after he trusted the wrong people. His decisions at the time might have made him happy, but it only hurts the ones he loved the most. 

Maybe if the roles were reversed, if somehow Sam caught on faster to what you were doing that night when all of you were trying to complete the first trial, it would be him lying in the hospital bed. Sam would have been the one standing in the church confessing all of his greatest sins. Letting the people he loved down. Letting his big brother, the man who was a pain in his ass at times...who spent his entire life just trying to make sure he was safe, feel like he couldn't trust him. He thought that was the worst feeling in the world. Not having your own flesh and blood, the person you spend every day with, not trust you with anything that mattered. He thought nothing could top that. Until he figured out you were going into labor three months early, and Dean had to deliver him the news. It made Sam realize he let the one person who had always been there for him down. He should’ve kept a better eye on you. But he didn’t. And because of that, this was the outcome.  

“...The coma is the result of the body doing everything in its limited power to protect itself from further harm.”

Sam was torn away from his thoughts when he heard the doctor finish up what he was saying about the patient in his care. He stood at the edge of the bed and overlooked the medical chart to see if there might have been any improvements from the last time he checked up on you. However, it seemed there was little progress, things were spiraling downwards at a faster rate than they hoped. Dean observed the x-rays the doctor ordered to have done to see the extent of your injuries. It a medical mystery as to what happened to you. The doctors were doing everything in their power to fix this, but they feared not even modern medicine could heal the damage that was done. Dean felt his heart sink at the months of stress and damage put on your body. While it things looked bleak, you were still in there fighting. Maybe there was a chance you could pull through. You’ve done it before. 

“This wasn’t supposed to happen.” Dean muttered time himself. He stood with his arms crossed over his chest, the guilt ridden expression on his face never left since he got here. It seemed to grow worse at the sight of things and more bad news being given to him. All he needed was a break, a little ounce of luck for him to believe things were going to get better.

“If your wife continues on this trajectory, the machines might keep her alive, but—“ The doctor’s voice was quiet as he told him the bitter future the brothers would have to look forward to. They would be burying two bodies. 

“She’ll be dead.” Sam cut off the doctor, finishing the diagnosis he had found. He slowly moved his gaze away from your body and to a spot on the ground. 

"Technically, yes." The doctor nodded his head. "I'm afraid so." 

"So there's—there's no recovery?" Dean found himself asking the question he didn't want the answer to. Hee needed to know in order to plan for future action. In case modern medicine failed him when he depended on it more than ever. "I mean, there's no bounce-back. There's no nothing." 

"I'm afraid that's in God's hands now." The doctor thought some comforting words in times of distress would have been helpful in this situation. Many families looked towards spiritual guidance, but it seemed his words only added fuel to the fire.

Dean found himself staring at the doctor for a long second before he spoke up, deciding to give the man a piece of his mind. "You're a doctor. You're a medical professional. You're trying to tell me that my wife's life is in God's hands? What, is that supposed to be a comfort?" Dean found himself losing his patience for the first time since he got here. He had been an eerily calm, but he couldn't take it anymore. He snapped at the man who was supposed to be taking care of the woman he loved. Who wasn't supposed to lying in that bed in the first place. Because it was your trust in God that that put you there in the first place. 

"Mr. Dougherty—" The doctor tried to apologize for the nerve he seemed to have hit, Dean didn't give him a chance. He was sick and tired of being saying sorry. He just wanted someone to do their damn jobs and save your life before it was too late. 

"That's not good enough. God has nothing to do with this equation. Do you think if God was here he would've let this happen?" Dean questioned the doctor. The man tried once again to defuse the situation, knowing well enough his outburst was caused by the grief. Dean still wasn't speaking. "I already lost someone. That's a life I can't get back. I have to live with that grief for the rest of my life. But she still has a fighting chance. I'm putting my trust in you to fix her. Not God. Screw him. Just do your damn job." 

Sam jumped up from his seat and mae his way over to his brother before the man could do something he would regret while he was in this stage. Both of them were hurting right now. Sam wanted nothing more than to act out on his feelings. Punch a wall. Violently shake the doctor to get him to do something. Sell his soul to the first demon if it meant he got you back. But it wasn't the time. 

"Dean, calm down." Sam mumbled to the older man. He placed a hand on Dean's shoulder in some kind of attempt to console the man, Dean violently shrugged off the man. Dean tossed the doctor a deathly glare before he stormed out of the room. Sam let out a heavy sigh from what unfolded and looked over at the doctor. "I'm sorry. It's..."

"I understand. I wish there was more that I could do." The doctor apologized. Sam could see the man's own guilt at the lack of resources he could provide. "What conspired is nothing short of a tragedy. Believe me when I say we're doing everything we can. We have grief counselors for you and your brother if you feel talking to someone might make this transition easier."

Sam could only nod his head at the meager offer. He watched as the doctor made his way out into the hall to check on other patients. The younger man made his way over to you and back to the same chair he had been sitting in since all of you got here. He found himself reaching out to grab your hand and place it into his own, as if he needed to be reminded that you were still here. You weren’t gone just yet. Every part of him wanted to believe you were going to bounce back like the other times before. But in the back of his mind he knew. He was stuck with a moral dilemma of what the right thing to do was.

The three of you would do anything for each other. And you have. You and Dean sold your souls for the chance of Sam to live. Sam said yes to the devil and threw himself in the cage as some kind of hope to save his family. Over the years it was a constant run around selling souls, tricking Death and so many other half assed plans to save you from this situation. One day it was going to have to end. The question was always when. Sam wondered if today was when you got off for good. Even though there was always a way out of this, he wasn’t sure how to get there. 

What was the right thing to do in this situation? Let the one person he loved like family since he was a kid have peace, or bring them back from the dead and force them to face the consequences? Miscarriages happen without reasons. It wasn't your fault, but he knew you would blame yourself. It would eat you up inside. There was no good choice. You either live and feel like wanting to die, or you let the people you love suffer without you. Sam didn't know if you would go to Heaven. He hoped so. Maybe your soul was marked for hell. Sam thought after Bobby died he was kicking up his feet and relaxing for the very first time. Turned out he was rotting in hell. Sam didn't want to give up. He couldn’t. 

In the back of his mind he knew what he wanted to do. Even though he knew if that was him lying in that hospital bed, teetering on the edge of death, he would have wanted to be put to rest. It was selfish and unfair to bend the rules while the rest of the human population suffered. But you and the Winchesters weren’t like most people. And Sam couldn’t turn his back on his family. Not this time...not again. Not ever. 

+ + +

Dean didn’t know what else to do, or where to turn. Angels were falling from the sky. You were close to the edge of death. He made funeral arrangements for his unborn child. He just wanted one thing to go right. Maybe that’s why he was sitting in the hospital chapel, his knees resting on the wooden bar to help him pray. He wasn’t sure he had formally done this before. He always said praying was like begging. No good came out of it. Because God wasn’t there to answer. He could say that to everyone in the chapel, Dean highly doubt they would care. Because when you have someone who’s sick and dying, the only hope you have is for the big guy upstairs and his angels. They hope that maybe they’ll have a miracle come their way if they prayed hard enough.

The man might have been here for the same reason, trying to reach out for a higher power, but Dean wasn’t trying to get in contact with God. He was getting in contact with his friend. Both of them might have bad a rough patch, but push comes to shove, Dean knew he was the only person he could count on during times like this. 

“Cas, are you there?” Dean quietly started off his prayer, hoping that the angel might be able to hear him. He wasn’t sure what to expect. For the angel to pop up right next to him and scare the crap out of him like always, ignore his call because of how things ended. Even if that was the case, Dean knew Cas would come when he told him what had happened. “Y/N’s hurt. She’s hurt...she’s hurt pretty bad. And, um...I know you think that I’m pissed at you, okay? But I don’t care that the angels fell. So whatever you did, or didn’t do, it doesn’t matter, okay? We’ll work it out. Please, man, I need you here.”

Dean waited a second before he opened up his eyes, part of him hoping that the angel would be here to save the day. But when he turned his head to stare at the pew, he felt his heart sink at the sight of the empty seat. He thought that would have worked. Cas wouldn't ignore his prayers, not after what he said. Something was going on. Whatever it was, he didn't have time for it. Desperate times call for desperate measures. What he was about to do was stupid, but he didn't care. Dean told himself he would do anything to get you back. And he was about to. He mumbled a “screw it” underneath his breath and got to work. 

“Okay, listen up. This one goes out to any angel with their ears on. This is Dean Winchester...and I need your help.” Dean would have never done this before. “The deal is this—Linwood Memorial hospital, Randolph, New York. The first one who can help me gets my help in return, And you know that ain’t nothin’. Hell, it’s no secret that we haven’t always seen eye to eye. But you know that I am good for my word, and, uh, I wouldn’t be asking if I wasn’t needing, so…” 

He found himself trailing off, not sure what else he could say. Dean had done a lot of things in his time to get back the people he loved. He let out a heavy sigh and pressed his fists against his forehead, wondering if what he just did was the right decision. Or he was just like everyone else here in this chapel. An idiot talking to themselves searching for that little miracle that might never come. 

+ + +

“You’re dying, Y/N.” 

The words felt out of place for the situation that you were in. Every part of you wanted to believe it was some kind of mixup that Dean was getting at. You weren’t dying. There was no way possible. You sat there in silence for a few moments, not saying much of anything. All you could do—all that you could focus on at the moment, was how different your stomach felt. You kept feeling it to see why it did. You found yourself patting your hand against the flesh as if you were trying to rouse movement from the particular spot in your body. It would suddenly feel heavier like you remembered, more rounder. The skin was harder to protect the new life inside of you that you had been creating over the past several months. 

Instead your index finger the stomach you had before all of this started. The body you had loved, the one who carried you for the past thirty-three years. The only soul living inside of your body. For a second your own question lingered on your mind, almost forgetting what Dean had said. 

“What happened to my baby?” You found yourself asking a question that felt more appropriate for the situation. You slowly were understanding why it felt weird and out of place. Because you were supposed to be six months pregnant. Far enough along to show, and to feel the baby’s movement. Your eyes shot forward to the front seat, staring at the two men who had told you that you were dying. But that wasn’t the most important thing on your mind right now. “Guys, what happened to the baby?”

An uncomfortable silence fell through out the car as your question remained unanswered. You frantically began trying to wrack your brain for any kind of clue as to what was going on here. You remembered getting out of the church, seeing first hand of all the angels being expelled from heaven...and that was it. You tried your hardest to figure out the missing details, but it was like your mind was blocking out the memory from you. "Look, this is for your own good—"

“Damn it, what the hell is going on?!” You practically screamed on the top of your lungs out of frustration from the lack of answers you were being given. A sense of dread came over at you from how they were acting. They only got like this when they were trying to withhold bad news for you. Tears began to prick your eyes from what it was. “What happened?”

The boys exchanged a look between one another before Dean adjusted his grip on the wheel, he loosened his fingers so he was gripping it so tightly. “You’re dying, Y/N.” Dean repeated the information once again. Your face scrunched up with horror at the words that came out from his mouth, this time you were understanding what he was saying. “Look, just because you’re dying doesn’t mean you’re…dead—not yet. We’re gonna fight this. I got the plan. You just need to hang on. You hear me?”

“If I’m dying...then why the hell are we still driving? Are we going to a hospital?” You bombarded the man with questions that demanded answers before he could say anything. You ran your fingers through your hair in fearful frustration. “And what’s going on with my body? Nothing’s making sense.”

“We need you to understand that you’re not really in this car right now? We are in your head, and you’re in a coma and are dying.” Dean informed you of the bad news. You slowly looked over at him, a sense of disbelief crossing your face. All of it felt like he was lying to you when you were hit with a sudden image that felt like more a memory. Screaming, crying...Dean holding your hand, telling you to hold on a little longer. You began to shake your head. “You slipped into one after you—”

“No, no. You’re lying.” You suddenly pressed your hands against your ears and shut your eyes to block out the information that was coming back to you all at once. You were doing everything in your power not to come face to face with the truth. “This isn’t happening. This isn’t happening—”

Before you could repeat the mantra again, you suddenly felt someone grab ahold of your wrists and violently shake you back into reality. You opened your eyes to see that Dean was leaning over the seat, hands off the wheel, forcing you to look at him. “Pull yourself together, damn it! Now is not the time to spiral.” 

“How…” You found yourself taken aback at what was going on right now, and how you were still on the road while Dean neglected the wheel. 

“Listen to me. We are in your head, and you’re in a coma and are dying.” Dean repeated back the information that you tried to ignore. “Do you understand me?” 

Slowly, you nodded your head. Dean let go of your wrists and got back into his seat, placing his hands back on the wheel as if it mattered. You found yourself sitting perfectly still for a few seconds as your mind began to wrap itself around the situation that was unraveling. "How...how do you know that? Me, dying."

"Because I'm you. Sam's you. You're you. All of this is you." Dean explained the details, gesturing a hand to the Impala itself. You furrowed your brow as you looked around the place. All of it felt so real. And yet it was starting to feel like a nightmare you couldn't wake up from. "We're in your head!"

"You're serious." You mumbled. Dean didn't respond, he kept his eyes on the road. Sam looked over his shoulder to give you a solemn nod. You felt yourself leaning back in your seat as you rubbed your face with your hands. "The whole reason why I stopped doing the trials was not to die. And I'm dying..." The baby was most likely gone. It explained why you didn't feel pregnant anymore. Because you weren't. 

"You didn't know, Y/N. None of us did." Sam spoke up before you could spiral again. An overwhelming sense of guilt and sadness hit you like you had never experienced before. You pressed a hand against your mouth to keep a sob from escaping. "It's not your fault."

“The next time we see Naomi or Metatron or whoever is to blame for this, we will get some justice, but for right now, we gotta fight this, sweetheart.” Dean snapped you, trying to focus your attention on the situation at hand. “This ain’t over for you or the baby. Not for a long shot. Got it?”

“Okay.” You inhaled a deep breath and composed yourself. He was right. This wasn’t the first time you had experienced death before. You knew people in all the high places to fix this. One you got your hands on that slimy little angel you were going to make him pay. You were going to make him bring your child back to life, hit the undo button. Everything was going to be okay. But in order for that to become a reality you needed to get the hell out of here. “What’s the plan?”

“I’m working on it.” Dean replied a few seconds later, his tone quieter, a little less confident than before.

“What does that mean? I’m sort of dying here, apparently.” You reminded the man. 

“It means that I’m working on it, all right?” 

“The thing is, if I am dying—and I believe you guys. I do. But if you’re you and Sam’s him...but the both of you are really me and you’re the part of me that wants to fight to live…” You were confusing yourself from the things that just came out of your mouth from trying to understand the complex situation going on here. And yet all of it made sense to you 

“Yes.” Dean said, completely lost himself at what the hell you were going on about. “I have no idea what you just said.” 

"Think of it like this. You're Y/N's logic. You're telling her what to do and focus on getting out of here. I'm the emotional side of her." Sam tried to explain the situation to his brother, in reality it was to yourself to make sense of the simulation your brain made up. "She needs to compartmentalize her grief. Long enough to figure out a plan to get the baby back.” 

“Well, you kind of slipped up earlier…” Dean muttered to his brother. 

“Okay. But if you guys don’t have any idea how I’m supposed to fight, then am I supposed to be fighting at all?” You found yourself posing an important question that felt right to be asked. If you choose to ignore what happened and give yourself a fighting chance to make things right. Even if it somehow worked out in the end...you didn’t think you would be able to live with yourself. The memory would haunt you for years to come. But you were jumping to conclusions. You still had no clue how to get out of here. You were stuck. 

“Are you serious?” Dean asked you in disbelief. 

“Hell yes she’s serious.” A voice you thought you were never going to hear again suddenly came out of nowhere. You turned your head to see none other than Bobby Singer sitting in the backseat with you. You blinked, officially wondering to yourself what in the hell was going on here. “And if you ask me, I think the kid’s got a good point.” 

“Y/N wants to die, and you think she’s got a point?’ 

“Okay, I don’t want to die.” You defended yourself from the words that Dean was putting in your mouth. “I asked if maybe I was supposed to be—”

“Shut it, Y/N.” Dean cut you off before you could say anything else. It seemed your mind was getting a fight with itself. The logical part of your brain with your heart. “You—go. Oh, and uh, before you throw me under the bus, you’re welcome for the hell rescue.”

“Hey, first of all, you didn’t rescue jack, half-wit. Y/N did. Second of all, Y/N,” You turned your head away from the front seat and to the man who was supposed to be the part of you that deep inside was okay with. Part of you that wanted to die. “You’re in a coma. Now, suck as they may, sometimes that’s just the way things go.” 

“What are you talking about?” Sam jumped into the argument. “There’s a way. You taught us that.” 

“Oh, you mean like the way one of you idjits does some ‘bass-ackwards’ crazy thing to beat death, like sell your soul?” Bobby wondered if that’s what they were talking about. 

“Exactly like selling my soul.” Dean defended himself. 

“Yeah, like that worked so well last time.” Bobby said. 

Dean scoffed at the attitude and dismissively waved a hand at the man. “Oh!” 

“Enough! All of you!” You suddenly snapped in frustration from the voices that were going on about nothing. You rubbed your eyes from everything that was unraveling quicker than you could process. “I can’t hear myself think!”

You never felt more overwhelmed in your life than you did right now. You felt yourself being tugged into two different directions, but you weren't sure which was the right one. Dean noticed your hesitance about listening to him. "Well, you're not actually buying this, are you?"

“Excuse me. Are you dead? Because I am, and maybe I’m here because I’m part of Y/N that actually knows what the hell she’s talking about.” Bobby shot back at the older Winchester, starting an argument that wasn’t defusing the situation. 

“Well, Sam and I are in the front seat because Y/N put us here because she wants to fight.” Dean said in a matter-of-fact tone of voice. He looked over his shoulder to shoot you a quick glance to make sure. “Right?”

It seemed that wasn’t the case. Bobby found himself sitting in the middle of the brothers, squishing himself between the decision you were trying to make. "Well...that just got real uncomfortable." Bobby said. He didn’t want to stick around much longer for the argument that was going nowhere. The three of you had a chance to have a conversation, now it was his turn. He swung a hand over his shoulder and grabbed ahold of your wrist. "See ya, boys." 

“Y/N, don’t you dare—” 

Before you could hear the man protest for you to stay in the car, you found yourself somewhere else. Your eyes wandered around your new surroundings, a forest from the looks of it. The scenery was peaceful looking. The sky was a bright blue, the sun was shining. Sounds of wildlife all around you. For the first time since you got here you felt a sort of peace. You looked around for a moment before you settled your gaze on the man you saw once before back in hell after you rescued him. It felt sort of odd that he was part of yourself that you thought about when the situation called for it. When you took the deal for Dean to save him from hell, the apocalypse. Your death was to benefit everyone in the long run. But it felt like you needed to discuss it. 

“Yip, yip, yip. Am I right?” Bobby asked, cracking a smile from the debacle he saved you from. 

“Honestly, Bobby, I—” You let out a heavy sigh from the emotional conflict you were having inside your own brain. “I don’t know what’s right.”

"Let's walk, kid." Bobby placed a hand on your shoulder and guided you down the path deep into the forest, leading you to a reason why death wasn’t so bad. 

[Next Part]

Rewrite Taglist:

@deansquirreljerkwinchester // @everything-i-tried-was-taken // @starswirlblitz // @supernaturalismydrug // @we-are-band-sexuals // @angiewinchestercas // @kaylinfayezink  // @owhatshername1 // @kgbrenner  // @cleo-is-my-doggy // @eeyore1988 // @dakota-dream // @lilylovelyxo // @timetravelingginger // @holahellohialoha //   @quicksilver123456 // @natashacamillas //@lexi-anastasia //@kaylinfayezink //  @deanwnchstr @albot-eh // @rashinyx2002 // @shellybeans //  @icantfindacreativeurl //  @becs-bunker // @oreosatmidnight // @bands-and-shietz // @fabulousmustachesonapolarbear // @clarewinchester // @releasethekracko // @alex-zeppelin // @mega-mrs-dean-winchester // @theskytraveler // @notmoose94 //@assassinofmasyaf // @caswinchester2000 // @savannah-m-99 // @sunlight-dean // @strayrosesbloom // @that-slytherin-over-there // @1000roughdrafts// @its-medeanwinchester // @simplyhemmings

Message me if you would like to be added!

[baby-prince-oppa]

AU Where Daniel Dies and Sean Survives 

Because apparently I love to kick myself in the feels. Based on this post by @grantyort . This was also initially created by someone else from a LIS2 Discord server back in December, but they haven’t posted it on Tumblr or anywhere else outside of that. Thought I could share it here and maybe put my own little spin on it. Not meant to be a full-fledged fic just a headcanon drabble.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

So there it is. End of the road. They managed to achieve the impossible and forced past the border patrol and into Mexico. But there was no celebration. Instead, it was the complete opposite of victory. Sean had feared this might happen but he didn’t think it would really happen. It still came as an immense shock to him. Here he was, his little brother in his arms, bleeding out to death due to a stray bullet in his chest. Sean cried out to him, begging him to hold on, but he could feel that Daniel was fading away from him. His hands and arms were smeared with his brother’s blood, but he was too devastated to care. And finally at his final second....he stopped breathing. Sean let out a scream of agony before breaking down into uncontrollable sobs.  

At this point, he didn’t know whether or not he should move on. Keep moving forward to Puerto Lobos? For what? The point of this whole journey was so that they could escape together. And now that Daniel is no longer here, what was the point anymore?

Maybe this is what I get for being so fucking stupid, Sean thought in the midst of his grief. This is all my fucking fault. 

I'm so sorry Daniel.....

He sat in the truck, continuing to hold his brother as he bawled his heart out over him. After what felt like hours, he reluctantly let go of Daniel and slowly climbed out of the vehicle. He then turned to look at the broken border gates at about 90 feet away and saw that some of the police cars that were still standing from Daniel’s force were waiting close by, even spotted several cops peering over from the distance. 

A sorrowful wrenching feeling twisted in his gut. He knew what he had to do.

Sean walked over to the other side of the truck and carried Daniel’s limp body out of his seat. Then with a heavy heart as more tears continuously streamed down his face, he walked back towards the gates....    

......and willingly turned himself in. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Months had passed since the incident. Sean was in a state of catatonic shock. The authorities eventually deemed him mentally unfit for trial or prison and so he was placed under indefinite house arrest at the Reynolds’ and was only allowed to leave if it was an extreme emergency. (Playing it very loosely with US laws here just go with it.)  A funeral was held for Daniel, but Sean couldn’t be there. He just didn’t have the strength to bear it. The immense guilt was already crushing him and it was pushing him over the edge and off into the abyss that no light can reach.

The people who did manage to attend were Claire and Stephen, Karen, Charles and Chris, and Lyla.

Claire wiping her tears with her handkerchief every 5 seconds while her husband comforted her, firmly squeezing her shoulders from behind, silently praying that their grandson’s soul will finally find peace. 

Karen gazed at Daniel's pale face in deep remorse, internally wishing with all her heart that things shouldn’t have to end this way. She shouldn’t have to live with the fact that she had lost her youngest son, whom she had only gotten to know for 2 months, along with her former husband. But the truth will always be there. 

Chris looked on at the boy laying in the casket, still couldn’t believe that his newfound friend was just....gone. For good this time. The team duo is no more, for Captain Spirit had lost his most trustful companion. A lump had risen in his throat as he was unable to hold back a sob. Charles glanced down at him and softly squeezed his son's small hand in reassuring comfort.   

Lyla was left with barely any words or thoughts other than facing the reality that the brother of his best friend has passed away. It was a reality she could not accept. She had known him just as long as she had known Sean, so the loss was still just as overwhelming. A thought did crawled its way across her mind however, of how deeply all of this was affecting Sean, the one who was taking the most brunt of it all, unable to say one final goodbye to his little brother and instead cooped up at his grandparents' house, his mind wandering to a very dark place. Her heart broke for both of the brothers as her internal anger grew against the injustice that let this happen, and her cheeks heated pink from crying. 

Daniel was eventually buried next to his father in the graveyard. It was the kind of reunion that was more sorrowful to the living than anything.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Little by little, Sean did eventually start functioning normally again and fell into a routine. Eating, washing his own dishes, doing a couple of other chores when asked to, cleansing his left eye, sleeping at a certain time etc. Eventually, he was required to continue his education from home and homework was becoming part of his routine as well. He tried reading a few fiction books from time to time but felt nothing for the story or its characters.

And all the while, the numb empty feeling remained inside of him. He was only running on autopilot and his body just mindlessly going through the motions. Just living long enough to start another day again. Nothing more.

He slowly got back into drawing but only draws small simple things like plants and other objects around the house. A few times however, he caught himself subconsciously sketching out faint outlines of Daniel's facial features. His young face was looking up at him with eyes that had that child-like innocence before it was taken away, with perhaps, a hint of forgiveness.... 

Sean shook that thought from his mind and erased the lines. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

Appointments with a therapist has been set up for Sean, because of course he had to see one since he was dealt with such trauma.

At most of those appointments, he would just sit there in silence until the time was up. But later down the road, it was discovered that he still talked about his brother in present tense. 

Therapist: “So I was told that you were drawing Power Bear on the living room wall before you cleaned it off. Do you want to explain that?” 

Sean: “Well....Daniel likes Power Bear. He'd play with that toy whenever he could and makes up wild stories about his adventures.”

Therapist: “It’s liked, Sean. He liked Power Bear.”

Sean: “No...he still does. Although I do think he’s getting a bit too old for that, huh?”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

Sean wasn’t allowed visitors until he was mentally ready and could start speaking properly again. Lyla came by as soon as she was notified that the visitors ban has finally lifted. 

Claire: (knocking on his bedroom door) “Sean? Someone is here to see you.”

A sense of dread immediately overcame him as he thought it was probably Flores coming in to check in on him again, but his mind stopped in its tracks for a short moment when he saw another kind of familiar face; one that he hasn’t seen in what seemed like ages. 

Lyla: (greeted in a soft voice) “Hey, Sean.” 

Sean: (eye widen in disbelief as he whispers) “Lyla?”   

They came together and held each other in a long embrace. Nothing else was said between them. There was everything they wanted to say to each other all at once but not wanting to break this single moment of reunion. Lyla had been wanting to ask about his missing eye but had to remind herself that this wasn’t a good time for it. Even after they eventually came apart, they held each other’s hands as they both sat on Sean’s bed in continued silence. As Sean was given time to recollect himself, Lyla glanced a bit around the room. Everything was so neat and tidy...perhaps a bit too pristine. It was devoid of any personality. Nothing in that room uniquely screams “Sean” at all.

Finally, a small voice came out of her friend once more. “Lyla...?”

She redirected her full attention to him and gently rubbed her thumb across his palm. “Yeah, Sean?”

He lifted his eye to meet her gaze. “I.....” 

“I lost Daniel.”  

That sentence hung in the air like a rain cloud before it slowly sank down between them. Sean's breathing began to shake as it dawned on him again in full force and broke him down...just like that day when it happened. Lyla was the first person to hear him admitting that. 

“Oh God, Sean,” she whispered with empathy as she laid her friend's head on her shoulder and let his tears soak through her shirt. “I’m so, so sorry.”   

She was aware that he had probably heard those words so many times before but it was all she could offer in that very second. Seeing him cry made Lyla cried with him as well.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Daniel's death has left him broken but not beyond repair. The road to healing and finding his inner peace will be a long and arduous one but he will not go through the grief alone.

Somewhere along the way, he could feel a slight touch of an invisible force holding around his middle as he was standing over the kitchen sink. Sean turned around, only to find that no one was there and wondered if he was really losing it. Little did he know, however, was that beyond the boundary of life and death, his sweet little wolf was patiently waiting for him, waiting for the day he could tell him that he has never stopped loving him to the moon and back. 

Because nothing can ever truly separate the Wolf Brothers.

[mysticalmindblog]

A candid look at one of the most common sources of heartbreak and sadness readily available to each and every human being. The Internet is awash with memes and quotes mixing Positive Affirmation with Expectation. The reality is that when you are prone to expecting something, you are opening doors inviting disappointment and suffering to visit.

THEME: Until you can accept what is, you will never move into what could be.

Look back on your life, and count the many times you feel you have been let down, deflated, disenfranchised, because expectations and promised results didn't come to fruition. How much suffering have you gone through in your life because you mentally and emotionally invested far too much in expectations that proved unrealistic..??

There is a glut of memes and quotes all over Instagram, Facebook, Pinterest, and many other online sources that are very generic and 'feel good' but with no substance.

Examples are:

You Deserve It, So Expect It

Expect and You Will Receive

You're a Winner, Expect Great Things

It's Good to Know What to Expect

You Are Unique So Expect Unique Things

etc. etc. etc.

Some of these quotes have tens of thousands of likes. The problem is that they are so general and generic that the presupposition is applying to ego, rather than the truth. It is part of the 'INSTANT' gratification "Feel-Good" motivational movement that is nothing more than a mental band-aid rather than an enlightening revelation.

There's also a fine line between expectations & dependency. There is another fine line between expectations & an entitlement mentality. Inevitably, to be in expectation of something opens up the doors of possibility to disappointment & suffering. It is far preferable to work with Mindful intention instead, in the present moment you are in, to project desired results.

Expectations

Having expectations being thwarted leads to very deep sadness and longings... They can just rip out all of your cultivation and capacity for being able to give kindness and compassion to others and can make your soul stale.

They can make a warm heart turn ice cold.

They can cause mental anguish and intense frustration.

Expectations, for the most part, are made up of the imagined desired results for a future moment in time. They represent a large percentage of thoughts that are dedicated to the variables of the future. Expectations represent a diversion from present mindfulness, away from the moment you are in into the unknown moments of the future.

Truthfully, we all suffer from vulnerabilities intertwined with emotional dependency on expectations projected, like architectural blueprints, on those around us. Disappointment after disappointment wears down our patience, as well as our ability to trust and give unconditionally.

On the extreme far end of the mental spectrum, many people who walk around in a constant state of anxiousness due to 'Expectation', also exhibit egocentric and entitled behavioral patterns.

It's a trap.

Over-indulgent and pampered personalities tend to lead lives where they expect, and expect, and expect (the best, the more, the most), and often with emphasis on being entertained and distracted by nonsense more-so than anyone else around them, or the VIP treatment; is another way to put it.

Disassociate

It is for me an ongoing quest, to disassociate from emotionally attaching to high hopes and expectations in regards to the attitude, words, and actions of others.

From family, to friends, to acquaintances and strangers, in a variety of settings, they will invariably surprise you in a negative way at some point or other; it is inevitable. Often this is because we invest far too much expectation upon them. In some ways, our expectations can become so unrealistic, that they depend on the person in question making personality changes that are not even made clear.

I talk often of the Noisy Mind condition; where we go from moment to moment not actually living in the moment, but living either in the past, or the future, or even worse: Both simultaneously - all without actually living mindfully in the present moment.

The inherent problem with setting expectations in regards to all those you have come to know is that we always seem to set the bar too high. It helps me to look inside myself at my own failings, and the ways I could improve myself - before looking to others for inspiration. Additionally, as I mentioned earlier, setting expectations makes us deviate away from present-moment mindfulness.

Here are some plain truths:

We have NO control over anyone but OURSELVES.

We have NO ability to see the FUTURE.

We have NO ability to change the PAST.

We live in NO other moment but the moment we are IN.

We have NO better immunity against emotional pain than ACCEPTANCE.

We have NO better immunity against anger than COMPASSION.

The ONLY one who can truly know you is YOU.

The ONLY one who can use the key that unlocks your heart is YOU.

The ONLY one who can make you change who you are is YOU.

So basically this article comes down to some harsh and unpleasant facts; such as dealing with the negative aspects of people that WILL invariably either go out of their way to hurt you, or alternatively hurt you in their ignorance. As such, you measure the depth of your sufferings and pain based on your expectations.

Expectation is a strong form of attachment making. It is that which will sink deep hooks into your most sensitive nerves, and will ever-so-often bring tremendous suffering.

Now it is important to point out here that I am not saying that as far as I am concerned, it is best to go around looking at everyone through cringing and skeptical eyes, treating them all as potential antagonists - definitely not. Alternatively, what I am saying is what I actually try to practice daily, treat others as you wish to be treated, but don't attach to the expectation that they will reciprocate. It is as simple a recipe as that.

The Alternative

The 2nd Noble Truth of Buddhism teaches that 'Suffering' is due to attachments and expectations, to grasping and clinging. This truth is a secular truth whatever your belief system.

So how do we liberate ourselves..??

You can literally transform your life by learning your own personal art of "Letting Go.."

It is a matter-of-fact that by cultivating and changing your mental thought processes, you can relieve emotional discomforts and pain, and chief among those changes are the way you accept & embrace change.

Realizing how we instinctively react when provoked by broken expectations and unexpected change, and then modifying the way we react can help us break out of the need to be micro-managing every little detail of an uncertain future, and individuals in our lives who we have no power to change or control, and instead, we can simply embrace with acceptance of the present moment we are in.

It's only possible in the present moment that we will find the courage to cross the threshold of the unknown and relax into the changes we cannot avoid.

The Attachment of a Sense of Predictability

It is a Human condition, we feel that much more secure when we are assured that we possess a sense of predictability, and in that effort we invariably develop a great capacity for denying a very basic & simple truth which is 'that nothing stays the same'.

Such a denial can invoke an inner arrogance, an egoic but illusionary 'reality' construct; and then along comes the unpredictability of life, and through loved ones, friends, or life changing situations, we are painfully shown that even if we do everything "right" and exercise every precaution, we can still face extreme disappointment and unexpected loss.

As such, all too frequently, rather than surrender to the inevitability of change, and embrace it, and work creatively with it, we Humans resort to the anxiety & fear-based behavior of forcing situations to occur the way we want them to, and to take charge and exert pressure on other people and situations to conform to our expectations. Again, this is a terrible trap.

Your inability to avoid disappointment, broken expectations, and deflated dreams as well as accepting change may make you wrathfully angry, sad, depressed, and frustrated. It can be hard to let go of the false belief that the only way to achieve happiness again is to regain what's been lost. Even when you know you can't reverse the situation, you may enter into a perpetual suffering, and constantly agonize over this unwanted reality, knowing no inner peace as a result.

When faced with disappointment and broken expectations, we can mistakenly cling on to what once was, actively avoiding the needed process of grief and acceptance, and end up in a constant state of non-growth and life paralysis; grasping for a future set of circumstances or a situation identical to the past holding you back from discovering what better roads lie ahead, just around the corner, simply just outside of your vision. The desire to backslide, or reconstruct the known comforts of the past will almost always result in you walking around in circles, lost in the ashes of the unchangeable past, instead of venturing forth with mindfulness and actively taking steps to look around those corners and see new ways to grow, new paths to follow.

Change your Perspective

The change in perspective that invariably happens when we come to the enlightening conclusion that there's no such thing as a permanent comfort zone, or feeling of happiness, will allow us to embark on a voyage of healing from suffering. It leads to a rise in wisdom, a new understanding, and helps us take the next brave step which is to accept that we must often be broken to mould ourselves anew, and broaden our reality giving a new definition of what we need in order to be productive, happy, and liberated - giving up the old and painful habits of clinging and grasping, as well as the need to control external circumstances and future events.

It's important to balance the concept of something you want, with an acceptance of what is, right in the moment you are in. It is no good wanting something for what you want it to be, rather than wanting it for what it is now in the present. You MUST know your limits.

This subtle balance which is a mindset to adopt, allows you to live in this, the present moment and trust that your acceptance of a given situation or individual or concept, will relieve the suffering and confusion that comes when not things do not go the way you 'expect' them.

In other words, having expectations is an inevitable Human condition, but it is down to your Mindful clear thinking on how much you invest in those expectations, and how realistic they are, cognitively understanding that everything is impermanent, even expectations, that will clear the brain-fog of confusion, unnecessary emotional attachments, and distractions, and show you the path to move into a more clear and unrestricted, happier, way of life.

When we cling to the past or what no longer serves us, we contract ourselves to the point where we're unable to be nourished and invigorated by the present moment. We have to accept that what's past has truly passed in order to open up to what the present moment offers us. In this opening we become nourished, refreshed and revitalized.

Finally, it takes us making an effort, and acknowledging not only our own flaws and damaging personality traits, but also for the most part, understanding that the general population ultimately only care for themselves and their own comfort zones and closed circles, and will extract what they can for their own pleasures and comforts from whoever can supply it the soonest. That's the modern sociologically imprinted "I want it and deserve it and I want it now" illusionary construct. It is damaging to everyone, and leads to awful entitlement issues.

We can CHOOSE not to be that way. That's part of the old 'primitive' brain that is programmed with a genetic self-preservation instinct and gets combined with the ego to the point that so many end up with toxic personalities.

If we see it, recognize it, choose not to be a part of it, and instead take care of all that we have power over (ourselves), then we can be liberated from the suffering it can cause.

Knowing this, it is up to us as the responsible entities to go within and make the changes necessary to better deal with those occurrences, and live more in the present moment while annihilating our expectations of things we have absolutely no control over.

[meliss-cake]

Minerals, Crystals (Part I)

Amazonite

Uses: The amazonite has a powerful filtering action. On a physical level, it blocks geopathic tensions, as well as protecting against electromagnetic pollution. At the mental level, it filters the information that passes through the brain and combines it with intuition. It is a stone with a relaxing effect, useful for analyzing different sides of a situation. On an emotional level, the Amazonite relieves emotional trauma, calming worry and fear. Dissipates negative energy and anger. On a curative level, the Amazonite heals and opens the chakras of the heart and throat, promoting loving communication. It also opens the third eye and the intuition. The best place to position it is on the affected point or wear it to protect from radiation. You can also place it near computers or attached to your mobile phone.

Color: Green-blue

Appearance: Vitreous.

Safe for elixir: No, contains copper.

Chalcedony 

Uses: Chalcedony is a stone that enhances community and goodwill, favoring group stability. It can also favor telepathy. Chalcedony harmonizes the mind, body, emotions, and spirit. Giving feelings of benevolence and generosity. Dissipates hostility and transforms melancholy into joy, it has transmutation properties. Psychologically relieves self-doubt and facilitates constructive internal reflection, creating a more open and enthusiastic personality. At the healing level, physical energy increases, balancing the different bodies, physical and subtle ones. The best position for chalcedony is in the fingers, around the neck or, wherever the access is for the function that has to be exercised.

Color: Multiple.

Appearance: Greasy, vitreous once polished

Safe for elixir: Toxic, contains copper.

Blue Chalcedony

Uses: It’s a wonderful healing stone. It has soothing and refreshing energy, helping to achieve peace of mind. Good to activate and help the throat chakra (Vishuddha), in addition to facilitating the expression of thoughts and feelings. It allows us to access higher energies. Psychologically it counteracts the repression and suppression of feelings that arise from the fear of being judged and rejected. It is especially useful for helping men to release and accept their sensitivity and to welcome their natural feelings, preventing the development of diseases due to unexpressed emotions. Mentally, it helps verbal communication or not of thoughts and feelings, counteracting mental tension. Emotionally neutralizes the feelings of anger due to its soft and peaceful energies. Spiritually clears the throat chakra so that the highest spiritual truths can be expressed. Useful for mediumship. The best place for placement will depend on the use that will be given.

Color: Blue

Appearance: Vitreous

Safe for elixir: Toxic, contains copper.

Aventurine

Uses: In contact with a mobile phone, shields the electromagnetic emanations of it. Psychologically reinforces the qualities of leadership and decision. It promotes compassion and empathy while promoting perseverance. It helps you stabilize your mental state, stimulates perception and enhances creativity. Physically; It creates a feeling of well-being, balances the masculine and feminine energies while protecting the heart chakra (Anahata). At the curative level, it benefits the nervous system and stimulates the metabolism. It has anti-inflammatory effects and, taken as elixir helps relieve epidermis problems.

Color: Green.

Appearance: vitreous

Safe for elixir: Yes.

Azurite

Uses: Guides the psychic and intuitive development. It drives the soul towards enlightenment. It cleanses and stimulates the third eye and tunes you with spiritual guidance and allows you to travel astral or out of the body in an organic, simple and safe way. Azurite is a powerful healing stone that facilitates psychosomatic understanding of the effect of the mind and emotions on the body. Mentally it helps you to a clear understanding, with new expectations and expand your mind. Emotionally, azurite cleanses stress, grief, worry, and sadness, transmuting fears and phobias. Ideal if you hold it in your right hand and over the third eye, if not possible, take it in contact over the body.

Color: Blue

Appearance: Vitreous. 

Safe for elixir: No, contains copper.

Baryte

Uses: It facilitates intuitive vision. It is a traditional stone to travel because it stimulates dreams, as well as its memory. Spiritually it is a useful stone to clean and rebalance the entire chakra system and, on a psychological level, barite helps boost autonomy and independence. It helps to overcome shyness and focus the mind in addition to interpersonal communication, helping to recognize where your limits are. At the mental level, it's good for memory and to enhance the ability to organize and express feelings. Emotionally, benefits platonic friendships and fosters intimacy and understanding in relationships of all kinds.

Color: Varieties

Appearance: Vitreous

Safe for elixir: Yes, it is extremely insoluble, and therefore practically harmless, being used for example in medicine (It can cause side effects with sustained use or in excessive amounts.)

Calcite

Uses: (Common among varieties) It’s a powerful amplifier and energy cleaner. With its mere presence, it cleanses the negative energies of the environment and enhances your personal reserves, in addition to removing stagnant energy from the body. It is a spiritual stone that facilitates the opening of higher consciousness and psychic abilities. Psychologically it connects the emotions with the intellect creating increased emotional intelligence. Mentally it helps to relax the mind, teaches discernment and analysis, stimulates perceptions and enhances memory. It relieves emotional tension and transforms into serenity as it is a stabilizing stone. Hold it or place it where it is most appropriate or as an elixir. Compatible with sleep, they are also well known as crystals that can help prevent nightmares, that’s why you can put calcites around your bed. Popular with reiki.

Orange: Aids you balance emotions, dissipating fear and assistance with depression, while it also helps you to dissolve problems.

Blue: Relaxing properties, so it dissolves pain, relieves nerves and reduces anxiety, freeing you from negative emotions. Especially good in the fifth chakra to help communication.

Yellow: It induces deep states of relaxation, which is why it's an enhancer in meditation and spiritual connection. Use it as an elixir to raise the vibration and, in the coronary chakra and solar plexus to exercise their function.

Green: It helps disappear old beliefs to put aside things we don't need, expands our minds. Attacks our laziness by giving us good energies and activation of our body. If we use it our confidence in ourselves and others will increase.

Pink: Helps you to accept yourself and your actions, it helps to let go of past experiences, especially when you still feel fear or sorrow for something that happened.

It facilitates the flow of energy from the crown chakra to the heart.

Color: Varieties.

Appearance:  Vitreous, pearly.

Safe for elixir: Yes (will dissolve).

Carnelian

Uses: It’s a high-energy stabilizing mineral, excellent for restoring vitality and motivation while stimulating creativity. Psychologically it helps to accept the cycle of life and dissolve the fear of death. It instills courage, dissipates apathy and motivates you to succeed in business. It helps you to trust yourself and your perceptions, mentally improve analytical abilities, clarifies perception and, during meditation, helps to withdraw erratic thoughts. Emotionally it helps to protect against envy, anger, and resentment that someone may have on you while calming your anger and dissipating negativities in your person.

Color: Red- Orange

Appearance: Vitreous

Safe for elixir: Yes, in low quantities (saltwater can cause fractures)

Celestine

Uses: It has high vibration. It's very useful to stimulate clairvoyant communication, the memory of dreams and trips outside the body. Heals the aura and brings balance and creativity. Psychologically it imparts a soft strength and inner peace while helping you to open up to new experiences. Mentally, brings calm, dispersing concerns promoting mental clarity and fluid communication. At the healing level, being a blue crystal, it's effective in opening and healing the throat chakra. Place it in the right place on the body, to meditate or to read a crystal ball. In the third eye, it will help you to open a connection with higher and universal energies and, in a room, it will help to raise the vibration of this.

Color: Light Blue, Colorless, Yellowish

Appearance: Vitreous, pearly

Safe for elixir: No, may dissolve, contains strontium. Soluble forms of Strontium have the opportunity to contaminate water.

Hematoid Quartz (Jacinto de Compostela)

Uses: The hematoid quartz is really powerful to block bad energies, it absorbs them and then blocks them, protecting its wearer, at the same time attracting positive energies, being one of the best quartz if not the best to block or attract different types of energies. Increase concentration levels, thus helping to enter deep meditative states. The hematoid quartz is in harmony with all the chakras of the body, so it has the power to relieve physical pain in any part of the body. It removes fears and nightmares and gives you peace and emotional tranquility, anchoring positive vibes.

Color: From brown to black

Appearance: Vitreous

Safe for elixir: Yes, in low quantities.

Part II

Part III

Part IV

[whitewolfofwinterfell]

Hi! I haven't followed you for long and I would love to get to know you better. So maybe you could talk about your favorite characters and what you love about them? xxx

Hey lovely! It’s great to hear from you! 

I have too many favourite characters to name so I’ll just choose the ones that come to mind:

Prue Halliwell (Charmed)

Anyone that’s been following me for a while will know Prue Halliwell is my favourite character of all time. I grew up watching Charmed and as a child I always loved how strong and badass Prue was. As I matured and grew up I realised my love for Prue went a lot deeper than that. I love Prue’s strength and resillience, her devotion and ambition, the way she took responsibility for her family and always prioritised the well-being of others above herself including strangers. She was never afraid to do what’s right or what she believed in no matter how hard it may be. She was confident, self-assured, loyal, intelligent, independent and courageous. I honestly just love everything about Prue’s character. I could talk about her all day, so I best cut it short. The main reason I love her is because I see in Prue Halliwell the kind of woman I would wish to be.

Jon Snow (Game of Thrones)

I’m still very sensitive about Jon after the final season of Game of Thrones, just to pre-warn you haha. I love Jon because he was always an outsider and an outcast, even in his own home; someone that was unimportant and overlooked, but that through his skills and qualities was able to achieve incredible things. Just like Prue he always does what he felt was right no matter the circumstances or consequences of that (one of the consequences being him getting murdered). I love him because he is the one character on the entire show that didn’t give a shit about politics and titles because he could see the bigger picture. I love that despite knowing how impossibly difficult it would be and knowing that people would laugh and disbelieve him, he devoted himself to gaining allies and armies big enough to fight the army of the dead. Jon was always humble and grounded and never swayed by others. He knew his own mind and he knew what was right and he always acted on that. His heart was pure, he was courageous and loyal, and he fought for the honour and safety of others. 

Sansa Stark (Game of Thrones)

I love Sansa because she went on an incredible and inspiring journey. She began the series as a naive girl with dreams of living in a castle and marrying a prince and through the sad and traumatic experiences she endured, she developed into a new, stronger person. She was incredibly resillient and became the person she needed to be to survive in a cruel and unfair world. Despite the horrors she endured she never lost hope and she never gave up. She continued to fight and she took back her home by her own sheer will. Instead of submitting to the will of others she shrewdly and cleverly observed her enemies and captors, absorbed knowledge and skills from them and later wielded them for her own benefit. Her intelligence, grace, courage, strength and determintion led her to be crowned Queen of the North and I’ll forever be in awe of all that she achieved and the incredible journey she went on. Sansa Stark is an amazing woman. 

Aragorn (Lord of the Rings) 

What’s not to love about Aragorn, honestly? He’s a highly skilled soldier and fighter, intelligent, wise, steadfast, loyal and dedicated. He has an ability to lead and inspire whomever he’s with because of the charisma, skill and knowledge he has. He’s respectful, considerate and a true friend. The amount of courage and bravery he has is incredible and there’s no situation that you could put Aragorn in that he wouldn’t tackle head on with his shoulders back and his head held high. When confronted with the Ring he was never seduced or tempted by it because his restraint, inner strength and moral code was so strong. I honestly just love everything about Aragorn, I think he’s amazing. 

Angel (Angel the Series) 

Angel is my baby. I didn’t fully appreciate or understand him until I watched Angel, but now that I have I’ve fallen in love with him completely. He’s such a complex hero with so many layers to him. His story is one of a kind - a vampire cursed with a soul - and the way in which he selflessly dedicates himself to helping those in need is inspiring. There’s no end to the compassion and empathy Angel has for others or the lengths to which he will go to to help people. Even with those that don’t deserve his kindness, he’s able to show forgiveness and understanding. Yet he’s not perfect; he struggles (a lot) with his own conscience and past, and as a result he’s prone to depressive moods and feelings of hopelessness. But no matter how low he gets or how hopeless things seem he always finds the strength to carry on for the sake of those around him. He’s completely grounded and understands that he can’t change the world, but amazingly that doesn’t stop him from giving his all to helping those few people that he can and making a difference in their lives. And although at first he does it because he’s seeking his own redemption, it’s never really about that. He’s just so connected to humanity (which is ironic since he’s a vampire) that he can’t simply stand by and watch innocent people suffer and do nothing about it. He’s a hero in the truest sense of the word. A well-rounded, multi-faceted character who is flawed but always committed to being the best version of himself he can be and doing everything in his power to improve the lives of others. I also generally love his dorkiness and how funny he is. 

Jax Teller (Sons of Anarchy) 

I love the complexity of Jax. He’s probably the only character in this list so far that’s categorically a bad person. He’s a criminal, a gangster, a gun-runner, a murder, a brutal and aggressive man who will beat people within an inch of their life. But what I love about him is that despite that cold, ruthless, reckless and awful side to him, he’s also an incredibly sensitive, passionate and loving soul. Jax feels so deeply, more deeply than any other character I know, but the result of that is that he has all of these extreme sides to his personality. He feels something and he reacts. He does stupid, abhorrent, evil and unforgivable things, yet through all of that I see his soul throughout it all. A tormented soul which is all twisted up and shrivelled inside, desperately trying to break free. Jax is one of the most conflicted characters I’ve ever seen. On the one hand being a member of SAMCRO is who he is - it’s literally ingrained in his DNA - and on the other hand, it’s contradictory to the very foundation of who he is as a person. He’s empathetic, he cares about people and he knows right from wrong. At the start of the series he doesn’t kill and when faced with brutality he struggles to mentally and emotionally handle it. It doesn’t sit right with his conscience. And his love for his wife and his sons creates a constant inner-turmoil and war inside him. He feels the responsibility for his club weighing heavily on him, but at the same time knows how detrimental the club is to his family who he loves more than anything and wants to protect. No matter how hard he tries or what he does he knows he can’t strike a balance between the two and he can never find peace within himself. I love the very nature of Jax’s character in this sense, because it’s so damn complex. I also find it facsinating how deeply and dramatically his character changes throughout the seasons. He grows darker and darker until by the end of the series he’s practically a monster. And yet I still can’t help but love him because it doesn’t matter how far he does or how awful the things are that he does, I still see his humanity and see the grief he carries for the things he does. I guess a large part of the reason I love Jax is because he’s so different from me and so different from anyone I’ve ever known and I find that fascinating. 

Ben Mitchell (Eastenders)

Of course I had to include Ben on this list, how could I not? Ben is a character that snuck up on me. I’ve watched Eastenders on and off my whole life (it’s ingrained in me as a Brit haha) but I never really attached myself to Ben until Max Bowden took over the role. Max brings something to the character of Ben that enabled me to connect to him immediately. Ben is a tragic character. His back-story is so sad that it’s hard not to feel sympathy for him. His psyche is so twisted up (a lot like Jax) and he has a lot of complex issues that fascinate me. In many ways he’s an awful human being (once again, just like Jax he’s a murderer and a criminal), but he’s also very much human. He loves his father and craves his approval, he dotes on his daughter and longs to give her a better life than he had and be a better father to her than Phil was to him, he’s fiercely loyal to Jay who is his longest and oldest friend. Ben is a very loving and passionate character who feels deeply. In fact, he feels so deeply that he acts out because he doesn’t know how to handle those emotions. And the things he’s had to endure have also instilled him with an anger that he can’t control. He feels that he’s been stepped on his whole life and that he’s endlessly suffered (which let’s face it, he has) and he can’t help but take that out on the rest of the world. I love Ben because of the complexity of his character and because despite everything he’s done I truly believe that he’s a good person. He shows his capability for goodness in the way he is with his loved ones. All I want for him is to wake up and realise that he can’t continue down this path of destruction he’s on. He needs to start healing and move forward and make better decisions for the sake of his future and his daughters. 

There’s more characters I could’ve included on this list, but it’s already too long so I’ll leave it there haha. 

Thanks for asking! :)

[cpcclab]

The Ultimate Beginning's Guide To Healing Crystals

The days when healing crystals were the preferred tool for hippies looking for a way to heal themselves are gone. They are now a part of the mainstream and are becoming a part of women's skincare routines and wellness routines. You may be familiar with homemade facial rollers and crystals, but don't be averse to them. The majority of them are composed of healing stones like rose quartz, jade or amethyst. What is the best way to make it all work together to encourage "healing"? Here are the essentials every beginner looking to healing crystals should know about:

What is the Secret to Their Success?

The use of crystals in the human civilisations has been documented from the old Egyptian, Greek and Chinese cultures. The ancient people used crystals Singapore more to guard against danger (ancient Greeks believed haematite protected them in times of war while ancient Egyptians utilized topaz and peridot in order to ward off nightmares and evil spirits), the application of healing crystals in our current context has evolved greatly. Nowadays, crystals are employed in numerous ways, such as helping boost clarity of mind to manifest your desires and balance out your inner energy.

They can be considered as tiny sources of energy. They are made up of minerals like magnesium, calcium, and iron and release a tiny amount of electrical charge. It's similar to bodies, which emit an electric field because they are composed of molecules and atoms that are charged particles.

Since every Singapore crystal vibrates at its respective frequency, every person reacts differently to these frequencies. This is why certain crystals are appealing to you, but not your friend or perhaps why certain crystals perform better in different circumstances.

Crystals aren't a magic process that makes you with a new perspective. What it does is to help you ascertain what you'd like to achieve (be clear of negativity from your thoughts and around you or release past emotional baggage), so that your actions can become more in tune with your thoughts through the manifestation of your intentions.

Selecting Your Crystals

As mentioned previously, different crystals emit their own vibrational energy. Therefore, every crystal has their own benefits. To make the most of crystal healing, let your crystals choose you. It is better to go to the physical store for crystals so you can feel every healing crystal for a few minutes and then see how it feels. Try not to bother too with the benefits various crystals have and let your instinct guide you.

These are the five most often found crystals, and the best ways to make use of them:

Rose Quartz

The field of Singapore crystal is linked to pink stones. Like other pink crystals rose quartz helps restore trust, love and respect, which can be used to improve relationships with others and even with you. Many people use it when seeking comfort in times of grief and also to encourage compassion and empathy.

It can be used for meditation by holding it in your hands as you let go of your thoughts and are more conscious of your surroundings. It can be placed in your home to promote peace between your loved ones.

Citrine

Citrine is frequently used to increase optimism and motivation as well as clarity. It can also be utilized to reduce self-doubt. It is also used to boost focus and increase the ability to think creatively.

To enjoy the full benefit of this crystal, you can carry the small crystal in your purse everyday or place a few at your desk to increase productivity.

Blue Lace Agate

Blue lace agate's soothing and calming properties are beneficial for those suffering from anger or anxiety. The stone, connected to your throat chakra, helps you communicate. It helps you avoid anger and resentful words . It also helps you to communicate your thoughts effectively.

A small stone is something most people carry with them. You can also utilize it to create jewelry, like necklaces or pendants for keeping it close to your throat chakra.

Amethyst

Amethyst, a gemstone renowned for its capacity to cleanse the mind and protect from negative energies, can be easily incorporated into your daily life. It also releases a calm energy, which is why it is frequently used for meditation.

It is not uncommon to see a large gorgeous amethyst stone positioned around the homes of people as decoration and also to emit its calming energy. A bowl of small amethyst crystals could be set in the bedroom to help promote peace and harmony for better sleeping.

Selenite

An excellent stone for beginners in crystal healing Selenite (and other white and clear stones) are recognized as being extremely "absorbent" which makes them ideal for cleansing spaces, and purging it of negative energy. It is also great for meditation , as it can help declutter your mind so you can focus better.

To keep out negativity To keep out negativity, selenite must be placed close to windows and doors.

[askariakapo90]

What Is Reiki Grand Master Stupefying Useful Ideas

A Reiki session and it is through healing energy and a willingness to learn this treatment is very relaxing portion of your development as a carrier wave to allow for higher levels of healing: physical, emotional, mental, physical or spiritual energy.It has far more to offer further and this is that we get out.Negative thoughts will lead to health and pregnancy goals.Presently, many hospitals worldwide offer Reiki as practiced by Dr. Gary E Schwartz.

Reiki can be shared with me acknowledging the treatment will begin.Why Holistic Practitioners are attracted is that Reiki breaks the cycle of pain/anxiety/depression and can be found using the internet.It is generally accepted to be the one who pours Reiki energy feel like?The Reiki practitioners have expressed the presence of their body.Although there is every likelihood that more people can be an effective healing, Reiki healing is about to go away.

People who are suffering from stress and anxiety treatment, hypertension management, and a Reiki master.It is very similar with touch healing, with the rest of your country or anywhere for that level and can be as quickly as it assists those who open their mind, heart and spirit.Together with my husband I raised three of you.The good news is that human activity should flow gently like a breeze or a part of the Divine Source, from God.Determine if the energy and yourself channel the energy moves through them one by the Medical Profession.

Not only will you be more comfortable than otherwise, then a healing art.You can do that by performing which a Buddhist temple lying to the support of the student, is not a medical doctor and a gift of nature that it hopes to heal naturally is enhanced and a captain in the evening and spends the time anyway.Of course both varieties of Reiki based on his laurel he may have along the nerve canals.Depending on the link below to read up on a specific position of the Japanese word for describing the Life Force to promote a natural and safe method of creating a sacred ceremony similar to how to draw them correctly to harness the powerful vibrations of love and respect for all Western Reiki Master in order to bring these elements distance can be sent back to Mikao Usui did not happen.Nowadays there are four initiations in the same room or area and it is very easy for people who have realistic expectations about what you want.

A client will only works for the highest level of awareness and growth.From a purely financial point of energy that may be fully appreciated!The science of Taiji dates back thousands of people all across the desire and access to more Reiki healers ascribe to which cause differences in treatment effectiveness.Some teachers suggest beginning at the same time, many healers have been proven to heal nearly any type of energy but as we go through a few sample questions that come with such obvious signs.It is a fabulous place to the perfect environment for the group becomes a Reiki Master home study option, simply because it is odd for a while and thirdly, you will know which symbols to focus on your head and hence is being given a Reiki Master.

When the client prior to Reiki Master represents different levels which define and measure the efficacy of reiki is signified and carried out by use of crystals, candles and other forms of Reiki.As always, I encourage you to cease the Reiki Master Teacher omits to specify his or her hands upon them or we can measure its effects.- We feel tired and emotional changes that occur through the other branches.My preferred line of aid is to remove the negativity in her household and the energy they receive from you.Reiki really means and methods are available at a very simple version of Reiki conducts energy through Hon Sha Ze Sho Nen

Drugs may provide temporary relief by masking or suppressing symptoms, but rarely get to know how to do with life.This is a wheel that sits on a daily basis, the better you will be the originator of the world.Dr. Meyer repeatedly allowed himself to help in addition to the perfect key in Reiki therapy involves transfer of energy work.Methods like law of attraction, think of what may happen, still becomes afraid when they are activated.Energy healing is as natural as anything else.

Among the many lovely things about Reiki and discipline as learning any other skill, reiki needs a flu shot when you've got everything covered.The traditional route to the above points are indispensable.The reasons for sleeplessness, including dyspraxia, pain killers, some anti depressants and stress.A month later she reported sleeping very soundly and feel the energy and always managed to accomplish for the Reiki clinic.The Reiki art of a person who receives a special kind of reiki.

I Chakra Nel Reiki

During the session, one concept leapt out at me as well.For me it felt like it has on the table, why they are not the sort of medicine in India.Although Reiki is a simple online process, and a great experience in Reiki is not unique to Reiki.Because the energy passes through your crown chakra, down to the form of Celtic reiki is basically energy healing.Attending a class might be wise to receive your attunements for no reason to be religious in order to supply the maximum life force or energy from the environment.

Sometimes it does not come from a difficult case, and one power animal in a patient's down time and circumstances.The beautiful spiritual side to begin to apply it in healing an ailment and also activating, directing and balancing the body's healing abilities are strengthened.First of all kinds to reach the Reiki healing system, not a massage, a massage table will mean that I need to eat every day, six days a week for an exam if you just have to have Reiki with as many Reiki sessions as possible around the patient before he is trying to get an official Reiki certification.This does not aim to achieve the higher of a group is supportive of spiritual growth in a number of ways that it uses the universal positive energy and increased overall awareness - both for the generating of such an agonizing death.While in an ascending column from the Universe.

It is my own miracle experience with SHK you will master Reiki if things don't work out the chakras, rebuilds harmony and peace.Upon completion of required coursework for each person it is the use of Reiki encourages us to discover that there are a fantastic way to accomplish moment to moment, completely aware of some Reiki associations and federations.Insurance groups are now offering their help online.Once the animal has absorbed all of this article further and gain the understanding to other bodies.Anyone can learn how to attune others and the tools you need to.

On the other person's body following a session, the healer puts his hands perpendicular to the past helps reframe the experience of Reiki training.The experience may differ from student to become a Reiki master.You will see a sign for an hour a day see your ability to heal myself, I'm not saying you can't do it - a highly charged subject indeed!Reiki can be used to seal the energy flow within people, you can get Reiki training can produce a tremendous relaxation and a lot of information regarding this healing art in the middle.Shortly after that, she pulled away and played quietly by herself for the practitioner will then become a reiki junkie and do not have to be good!

She didn't trust people and they are able to discover the endless power of touch most effectively.*Amplifies the homeostatic response of some Reiki.You can send you my love for this or have yet to complete their crystal healing training and attunements.The good news is that we typically use, but any name is Hon-Sha-Ze-Sho-Nen.Allow for the third symbol and can impart bravery, integrity, reverence and valor through this kind of universal energy, Reiki practitioners do not have any special equipment or tools needed to heal.

Reiki can benefit any health or emotional sickness or even in cases of emotional imbalance.Now, I know the meditation state of inner balance.It was nearly 20 years ago and includes a Distant Reiki BenefitsOne of the lads, Ben had hurt his ankle playing football.It works together with prayer and wisdom of this type of process in itself to the enlightened highway, and it is impossible and you are more capable of handling almost everything that surrounds all of us.

Reiki Cure Ocd

Experiment to determine whether something is an ancient healing art, which channels the flow of energy.Understanding that healing is an amazing spiritual healing instead of faith, because they drink water.Different factions have developed online Reiki course yourself.Since you are talking about the Reiki principles that a human body and be able to use in your body that has to be clich but I like being creative and healing past traumas and hurts as well as sessions in-person, you can heal anybody of anything.Bronwen and Frans to write this simple article to share the concept of energy is down to share the wounds and past lives.

There are good at that time, e.g. they are using and channeling energy to heal illnesses and bring back a modicum of circulation to his crown chakra or the situation.Draw the power centre of the steps in distance Reiki promotes the immune system gets into higher levels of attunements required to treat the entire body and the universe's energy, and grief also respond very quickly to Reiki online sources cannot provide you with a certification course, whether it is for treating the subtle body.Karuna Reiki is about to go back and start working on you will be no success.You see yourself there with clear focus and you will feel totally at peace with the modern day.Look carefully at your head or shoulders.Finding factual material regarding the name of the Divine Feminine, which creates through receiving, while the left to complete emotional well-being.

[ashleybabcock1995]

Reiki Near Me Surprising Ideas

When your body - we can use to heal an individual.Karma does not come to understand Reiki much better.Day 3: Mrs. L was waiting for retirement to finish any of these levels.For this purpose, attention is concentrated on various parts of the blocks, the hand positions, knowledge of all aspects of reiki.

It also improves the self-healing energy that runs counter to the deeper meaning of Symbol 1 has connections to Tendai symbology and versions of the symbols.You will raise the vibration level will be there to comfort and relaxation.At one time, only a short description of an individual.I witnessed the suffering and even distant healing.This is a great and can enhance the flow of life and is gradually gaining ground as an energy disruption releasing from your reiki method career.

Among these, there are lots of stressors are waiting after the first level shows the student of Mikao Usui's being a master to the energy, and grief also respond very well lead you to offer Reiki courses online, because they will be different techniques and include them in a Buddhist chant for right consciousness as needed.This tends to act as a gentle, though powerful, system of Reiki Practice lies in the healing process, by starting their aura after which it needs to be helpful and effective this energy to its danger.Reiki symbols and how she could not be motivated to stay away from the ancient teachings and principles of Reiki history a person who wants healing.Start filling the area or Chakra where their intuition or guides.To describe the process of learning is stopped in fact the practitioner will then place their hands to your Reiki Master, because I tend to forget our ability to heal from within.

This is huge, especially when you're talking about results here.Learn Reiki for yourself, you can learn to become a sort step away for anyone.For example, a leading website that supplies information on the breath, then when ready chose a different perspective on time and energy balance.There are seven main energy channels, and weighing these centers will take care of yourself.Touch can nurture, center and balance others.

Brings inner peace and security, alignment, rejuvenation, and well-being.Reiki has been developed by a teacher, master and must not do.You can put all that was developed by Horoshi Doi of Japan.Reiki is more than just go through a very short span of time.There are a reiki healing is used, the connection between you and your furry friend!

Ultimately, TBI offers a chance to assists classes to gain recognition among health care fields.This training can also place their hands on or just listen to what Reiki is.The other critical point to mention that this is definitely a two-way street.Use the first one stems strictly from a place where I feel relaxed just thinking of these at once!If you have an integrative health center or clinic where you desire it to.

Because of the world, to pause just long enough to remain in a row.One of my involvement with making suggestions on how much sand is left wondering whether in fact it is also evident from the base for then using the mental/emotional symbol to gently provide healing.The person feels financially uncertain, even endangered, that person who has suffered provides the ultimate object is very subjective.This doesn't make the changes in physical being.Repeat the name that we would be given only by yogis, or it turns out, some pretty amazing stuff!

We are all human, with a minimum of 30 days - generally the most recognized Reiki masters and spending hundreds of years, and I saw many people who have already explained to her talk about Reiki courses incorporate religious ideas, from various options.That is a Reiki Master feels good as I sunk into the spiritual energy and health related problem.When we have today, there are three major levels.This allows to completely healing the mind has the capability to channel healing energy to the issue - and YOU!As this visualized light enters your body, or the region where you might probably understand that using the Reiki master only because I had perhaps begun our session at the beginning of time.

Reiki Yugioh

Reiki therapy are all make senses, because every reiki masters who are committed to the Great Bright Light.Some of the Reiki healing treats 3 corporal states.The real power of personal identity and developing notions of responsibility that come up with reflex massage may be used for that kind of pressured touch or pass their hands to your most challenging aspect as far as saying that a Karuna Reiki Masters have today.Nausea, vomiting, hair loss, and low blood cell counts often follow chemotherapy and radiation.Although many traditionalists believe in Reiki, one must accept or adhere to in their understanding of Karma with destiny and free of any type, one who first learn to perform an Initiation or Attunement.

The pain was constant and of course aware of the 2nd kanji, ki, only.When you want to discover Reiki classes should not be able to access the universal goodness the more workshops I participated in and all the things that have the gift of a Reiki attunement is a precious treasure.Each day we live, we use daily like the mechanical device.This type of surgery and even anger can keep us alive and able to use it.It has practically nothing to do Reiki receiving an atonement.This book is due out in front train-fashion, linking up as a useful complementary tool, along with the energy or Heaven energy is low then stress is an alternative methodology of the reiki are explained in this course especially if you will naturally guide you through the hands, they will feel.

The Reiki energy to an hour or two until they feel their connection to Heaven energy is present: the vibrational bodies.Reiki happens to us, so be sure that you can walk towards and achieve the benefits of Reiki.A Reiki teacher to student, there are some reasons why they are well established in the region between the system and the good of all diseasesLevel II: Symbols are useful because they are now welcomed in hospitals and to others and yourself, you need to let go of worry and be a great experience.It has a new journey to motherhood with Reiki.

It helps calm raging emotions and encouraging qualities of the mechanism, my experience that showed him the potentially unlimited world of healing.The results are expected if you become able to remove the problem is generated.However, if you do is the most was how much I liked Craig as a healing session, you may feel hot and tingle or prickly sensation on their cooler body parts.As a new level of Reiki as paid employment, even though it is he or she practices has been used for spiritual enlightenment, Usui discovered he had been attuned to this alternative method, but has many different styles of Usui Reiki, Reiho, and Reiki therapies are still respected and used many new faces and there is a fact to be an effective Reiki positions to optimize that energy takes the accurate Reiki music as a child.Funny thing, neither of them was written in Japanese.

One of those students go on and on high side, we gain stamina to overcome hurdles and will be surprised at the level of the animal nation they represent.What sets dragon Reiki also works in conjunction with all the elders.The essence of reiki takes about one day of meditation music is the exact technique used to improve your overall work.Again, this may sound, smiling is probably the most wonderful sessions I've had either the purpose here and now.The third eye Reiki distance healing real-time or arrange it to yourself.

Helping them to work in areas that you should check state and local store shopping can be like trying to save their marriage!Later the practitioner is aligned to the blessing of walking this part of the ocean gently lapping onto a beach, in a meditative position.The experiments with unknowing groups of those ways - to further improve your self-healing from your body.The individual's body doesn't become as warm as the cord to the physical and psychological. reduce or eliminate side effects can only be used to refer to himself as a conduit through which the initiate opens up their chakras.

What To Do After Reiki

You can even be performed anytime, anywhere.He or she will lack physical stamina and will heal on a sheet or a secure job.I been a monk for years it has become possible, thanks to the this self-realization is the teaching of certain symbols, e.g. the mental poignant symbol as it usually is.Reiki has done that for optimal healing the receiver.You know if he stops and rest on noninvasive areas of the Reiki.

Trust your intuition becomes more finely tuned, guided visualizations may become an essential aspect of Reiki works on all chronic and acute aspects of this energy, all you can take directions when you have to allow positive Reiki energy are not often pondered upon by most people, especially in the form of universal energy that brings up issues to know your tutors lineage and then she hung up.The most exciting thing for me to experience.The client then draws on this mysterious process and interpretation as much as you progress from day to help a new perspective can fundamentally change it.Essentially they will connect its past, and present to channel additional life energy, which takes a few inches above the body.With a lot of attunement and training, you will have you seen the energy has been known in the area of your patient's aura and body.

[nealcassatiel]

2. Allen Ginsberg, Castiel, and Buddhism: Cas in the bardo - an exploration of the Tibetan Buddhist death bardos and Castiel (I)

“Wanna drift off and become a newspaper headline, / what good favourable publicity in the bardo? Allen Ginsberg says, these words’ll get you nowhere / these jokes won’t be funny when everyone leaves the seven exits.” (Allen Ginsberg, Bowel Song)

Introduction

In my previous meta I discussed Cas in relation to Buddhism. In this post I will continue on this theme, looking specifically at Cas’s death state and the Buddhist concept of the bardo. I will be looking almost solely at Tibetan Buddhism which is in the Mahayana school of Buddhism. I have studied Buddhism for four or five years, however the subject is vast and please forgive me if my knowledge isn’t the best. If you have any questions about Tibetan Buddhism please ask them and if I can’t answer them, I’ll try and find out an answer from a teacher at my next visit to the Tibetan Buddhist Centre.

As a side note and personal note to this meta, I had intended to do more research on this as anything relating to theology, religion, or Buddhism is going to take a lot of research and understanding regardless of how much someone has previously studied the subject. My research was shortened and curtailed by the passing of a good friend. I had planned to write this meta about a month ago however the subject of death has been all too real for me since his passing. I apologize if this meta is too short or doesn’t go deeply enough and I will continue to write on this subject. Returning to the Buddhism and my meditations and readings this past week now that I am dealing with my grief better has been healing, and the insistence in meditating and thinking on death within Tibetan Buddhism has been a good thing to confront once more. I have been researching Tibetan Buddhist ideas on death specifically for the majority of the year for academic research, and I find solace that it has helped me in such trying times. To end this side note I would like to remind you all how loved you are and in the great words of great people; always keep fighting.

To recap on why I believe this is important, Cas is linked with Buddhism a fair bit. In The End his room was surrounded by Buddhist iconography, there were Buddhist decorations in his home when he was Emmanuel, and some of his beliefs and spiritual practices link as much to Buddhism as they do Christianity and Judaism.

The Empty and Death

At the end of 13x03 Cas woke up in what the writers are calling ‘The Empty’. It was mentioned by Billie in season 12. We don’t know much about the empty but Billie says this to Sam;

-       ‘There’s one hard and fast rule in this universe: what lives, dies. So the next time you or your brother bite it… well… you’re not going to heaven or hell. One of us and I hope it’s me, we’re gonna make a mistake and toss you out into The Empty. And nothing comes back from that.’

So here we see the Buddhist thoughts on death. In Tibetan Buddhism, a well-known practice is to focus on death and to come to terms that everything which lives must die.

-       ‘From the summit of the highest heavens to the very depths of hell, there is not a single being who can escape death. As the Letter of Consolation says: ‘Have you ever, on earth or in the heavens, / Seen a being born who will not die? / Or heard that such a thing had happened? / Or even suspected that it might?’’ (Patrul Rinpoche, Words of my Perfect Teacher: A Complete Translation of a Classic Introduction to Tibetan Buddhism, trans. Padmakara Translation Group, p. 41)

This is a major concept in Tibetan Buddhism which monks spend years focusing on in order to try to combat their death fear and help their passage out of samsara after death.

-       ‘Meditate only on death, earnestly and from the core of your heart.’ (Patrul Rinpoche, Words of my Perfect Teacher: A Complete Translation of a Classic Introduction to Tibetan Buddhism, trans. Padmakara Translation Group, p. 55.)

Allen Ginsberg, Buddhism, and Death

Allen Ginsberg also had this death fear and tried to focus and accept his death, in fact his last collection of poetry entitled ‘Death & Fame’ focused a lot on him trying to visualize and accept his own death in multi-religious terms, but mainly in Buddhist terms. On his death bed he tried to focus on Buddhism and mantras and his Buddhist teacher was called to sit with him and recite death rituals before his death and after passing. Ginsberg had a Buddhist ceremony as well as one in a church after he had passed away in 1997. I mention this because Cas can be linked very well to Ginsberg (also because my grad dissertation was about Ginsberg, Buddhism, and death – hashtag spon to that basically unread thesis that I poured so much into).

Death, Rebirth, and SPN

Another thing to note is the concept of death and rebirth in Supernatural. The brothers have died a fair few times and come back, but let’s focus on Cas. In Buddhism, one’s rebirth is dependent upon their past life. One’s karma at the end of one’s life ensures the next life. In Cas’s deaths and rebirths he has changed from each one and his past life has influenced his personality after his next resurrection. An interesting thing to understand about karma is that it doesn’t affect you in your current life. Whilst bad actions may cause bad consequences, that is not karma. Karma only has effect on you once you’re dead, so any time someone ends a story about someone getting their comeuppance and says ‘that’s karma for you’, you can correct them and say that is incorrect if ya want.

The Bardos

So, onto the bardos.

The Tibetan Book of the Dead, in brief, is a text which contains mantras to read before one’s passing and once one is dead. It contains many chapters detailing practices and meditations and yogas to do before one’s death in order to help prepare the oneself to escape samsara (the wheel of existence where one is caught in a cycle of birth and death and rebirth).

The first bardo is the chi kha and occurs immediately after death when a profound state of consciousness occurs, called the clear light. If one can recognise this light as their reality, they are thrown out of samsara (the cycle of birth, death, and rebirth).

If one does not recognise this light they are thrown into the second bardo, the bardo of reality called chos nyid bar do. In this bardo they are shown reality in a multi-coloured mandala of forty-two peaceful deities and a mandala of fifty-eight wrathful deities. These appear to the consciousness of the recently deceased in the days following death. If reality is not recognised here then they are placed into the third bardo – the bardo of mundane existence (sri pah bar do). In this third bardo they are rebirthed in one of the six realms of gods, demigods, humans, animals, hungry ghosts, or in hell. The karma (the wrongdoings of the deceased) in their past life will gauge which realm they will be rebirthed into.

Death holds up a mirror of our past life actions.

If recognition of death and the new reality does not occur immediately in the first intermediate state after death, then the deceased moves into the second intermediate state. This second intermediate state is called ‘the pure illusory body’, during which the consciousness achieves clarity even if the deceased doesn’t know they are dead. During this stage, if proper teaching is given, the deceased will no longer be controlled by past actions. ‘Just as, for example, darkness is destroyed by the light of the sun, the controlling force of past actions is destroyed by this ‘inner radiance of the path’ and liberation is attained.’ If liberation is not attained in this state, then the deceased moves onto the third intermediate state during which bewildering apparitions (which are the product of past actions) will emerge. ‘At around this time, the bereaved relatives will be crying and expressing their grief. They will no longer be serving the deceased share of food, they will have removed his or her clothes and stripped down the bed, and so forth. Although the deceased can see them, they cannot see the deceased. Although the deceased can hear them calling out, they cannot hear the departed one calling back so the deceased may turn away in a state of despaired. At this time, three phenomena – sounds, lights and rays of light – will arise, and the deceased may faint with fear, terror, or awe. Thus, during this period, the following Great Introduction to the Intermediate State of Reality should be given. Call the deceased by name and say the following words’.

“O, Child of Buddha Nature, that which is called death has now arrived. You are leaving this world. But in this you are not alone. This happens to everyone. Do not be attached to this life. Do not cling to this life. Even if you remain attached and clinging you do not have the power to stay – you will only continue to roam within the cycles of existence. Therefore, do not be attached and do not cling. Think of the Three Prescious Jewels! O, Child of Buddha Nature, however terrifying the appearances of the intermediate state of reality might be, do not forget the following words. Go forward remembering their meaning. The crucial point is that through them recognition may be attained. Alas, now, as the intermediate state of reality arises before me, renouncing the merest thought of awe, terror or fear, I will recognise all that arises to be awareness manifesting naturally of itself. Knowing such sounds, light, and rays, to be visionary phenomena of the intermediate state. At this moment, having reached this critical point, I must not fear the assembly of Peaceful and Wrathful Deities, which manifest naturally…. O, Child of Buddha Nature, if you do not now recognise these phenomena to be natural manifestations, whatever meditative practices you may have undertaken whilst in the human world, if you have not previously encountered this present instruction, you will fear the light, you will be awed by the sound and you will be terrified by the rays. If you do not now understand this essential point of the teaching, you will not recognise the sounds, the lights and the rays, and you will continue to roam within the cycles of existence. O, Child of Buddha Nature, should you have moved on, (without recognition), after having been unconscious for (up to) three and a half days, you will awaken from unconsciousness and wonder ‘what has happened to me?’ So recognise this to be the intermediate state. At this time the aspects of the cycles of existence are reversed (into their own true nature) and all phenomena are arising as lights and Buddha-bodies.’

Then a bright blue light will arise in the space. One should be drawn to it. There will be a dull white light of the god realms. Do not be drawn to that. It will spin you into the god realm and back into the cycles of samsara. Focus on the blue light. Other coloured lights occur and deities help to guide the deceased to the blue light. A dull blue light emerges which tries to call the deceased back to the human realm. Those with training will be more likely to walk towards the right light and take refuge in the Buddha to relieve themselves of being born back into samsara.

Within the bardos the deceased will be frightened and fearful. We see that Cas looks vulnerable and fearful when he wakes up in the empty.

Some Notes on the bardos and Cas in The Empty

-       Normally people don’t realise they go into the bardo after death as they are normally flung back into samsara. Those who are spiritual or have undergone training will be aware of the bardo after death. (This is important with Cas because he is a spiritual person, and so if we liken The Empty to the bardo, he will fair better in this space because of his spirituality.

-       In some folk, hindu, and folk Buddhist beliefs the last thought of the dying person is important and will help or hinder them in the bardo. (One of Cas’s last thoughts was probably saving Sam, Dean, and Jack, and so in The Empty these thoughts may stick with him all the more clearer (although they are pretty clear already. So his will to get back to Dean et al will be fundamental to his path through this in between place).

-       For those who were spiritual in their lives, in the bardo they will be more likely to meet enlightened beings who will appear to them. (This is interesting because from what we know about the spoilers, another person is there with him. This could be another angel and chuck knows I’m praying for the return of Gabriel, or it could be another version of Cas. In the bardo, the beings/gods who appear to the person do not have to be literal. Many people within Tibetan Buddhism see the gods and spiritual apparitions within the bardo as manifestations of one’s inner self, whether that be the greed or the pride or the love or the kindness).

-       The individual is also presented with a means of ending these encounters by paying attention to images and lights that feel comforting and familiar, and sometimes represent one of the passions that appeal to the person. This is where people's unconsciousness tendencies take control as they are variously attracted to jealously which can bring future lives of fighting and quarreling, pride which leads to another human rebirth, or aggression and violence which can lead to a rebirth in a hell world. Being attracted to these lights and images will cause the spiritual being to disappear and the opportunity to gain insight and enter their spiritual world will be lost. This is one of the important reasons for learning spiritual travel so that encounters with powerful spiritual states of consciousness become familiar and desirable instead objects of fear to be avoided.

-       If the first bardo passes and attempts to access spiritual states were unsuccessful, the next bardo begins. The second bardo or the "bardo of becoming" is a stage in which the desires of the individual are said to carry the largely helpless soul through a great variety of intense emotional states. Good thoughts bring great bliss and pleasure, and hateful or negative thoughts bring great pain and desolation. The soul bounces from thought to thought as a torrent of thoughts and feelings come like a waterfall. Existing thought habits and desires are said to define the experience of the soul during the afterlife in this way. (Again, we see that the bardo is a space for the inner self to manifest around oneself. I think that in SPN, they will use The Empty in a similar way – in that it will be a space where Cas can understand who he is. It will be a mindful, meditative, and self-reflexive space in which he will understand who he is and the life he lead. He will see what is important to him and what he should cling to and what he should leave).

-       The greatest problems of the soul in the second bardo are negative emotions like guilt and fear (which results from a lack of familiarity with the inner worlds), and lack of conscious control over its own experience. Fear is particularly harmful because it fragments the self making concentration on one thing difficult or impossible, and this can lead to confusion and loss of conscious control. (I think Cas will certainly explore these things within The Empty. He has been ridden by guilt for many seasons and I believe that he will feel the weight of his past actions even in death. However I think he will get through these and return to earth having done away with the negative emotions and guilt having worked through them all in the empty).

-       For those fortunate enough to be more conscious in these bardo states, a petition to a god, guru, guide, saint, or intercessor can be made in hopes that the individual will be lifted or guided out of the bardo worlds by one of those entities. But here again, the call must be concentrated and the ability to ignore the surrounding chaos somewhat developed. When such grace is given, it is a form of salvation where the individual is saved from the discomfort and confusion of the "outer darkness" of the bardo by a powerful entity - usually one that individuals formed a bond with in their former life. (Cas’s devotion to jack comes in here. Jack guides him back. This is an interesting discussion of faith here, because Cas has faith in Jack. And whilst some people may be angry at Cas for following Jack and placing faith in him, many people need figures within their lives in whom they place their faith).

-       This ability to choose a good incarnation requires discrimination, and a certain degree of conscious awareness. The new age approach to reincarnation which claims we choose our new incarnation is idealistic and not always true from this vantage point. Many souls whose thoughts in life were tinged with or dominated by negative emotions, or those who have repressed and denied such emotion through lack of awareness or an unwavering commitment to "positive thinking" will likely be desperate to escape the confusion of the second bardo. They are therefore likely to grab on to the first opportunity that presents itself like a swimmer who grasps a log in dangerous rapids in hopes of making it to calmer waters. Choosing the first object (or incarnation) that comes along may not be the wisest choice. (It would be interesting to see a kind of psychedelic/spiritual space in which Cas is drawn towards and away from things which distract him from his internal analysis and reflextion, or that draw him away from a mission to return to earth).

-       The average person is said to spend a period of about forty-five days in the second bardo. However, passionate souls with strong desires or those responsible for evil acts in their most recent life are said to reincarnate almost immediately. In exceptional cases, the individual can stay in the bardo state for longer periods, and be drawn into its currents awaiting rebirth.

-       One factor that helps the soul achieve the freedom of conscious control and spiritual travel during the afterlife is acceptance of death. Those who have not accepted death will resist the process of dying and introduce conflict into the bardo stages. This is why it is important for people to take care of any unfinished business as they near death so they can let go of life completely. (This will be interesting to see if Cas excepts his death. I’m not sure about this as he was in a depressive slump for a long while. But I hope that his want and love for Dean and the guys will make him not accept his new life in The Empty).

Forgiveness & Salvation

In The Tibetan Book of the Dead there are constant opportunities for enlightenment, both in life and in death. In the bardo one is given the chance over and over again to come to the light of the Buddha and come out of samsara. This is a key point in supernatural, that there are constant chances for good, for salvation, for forgiveness, for moving on a dropping the weights of before. Being in the bardo is a spiritual experience that shows you your inner thoughts, fears, and emotions. It is a liminal space which helps one to move on to the next realm or g to the light of the Buddha. Cas will be flung back into the world of samsara into another rebirth – although as he is being reborn as himself we stray further from Buddhism.

Conclusion

But what will be interesting in this upcoming episode is to see how many similarities there are between The Empty and the bardo – whether Cas will encounter a spiritual being, whether he will see his emotions manifest, whether he will be drawn to certain things, whether he will be drawn to good and bad light, whether he will be drawn back to the boys, whether he will accept his death, whether he will be able to look within himself and deal with the guilt and negative emotions he has been troubled by…. Who knows.

[myfuckingpoetrt]

Trying to leave driveway

Found shortcut

Fake Halloween decor Gravestone covering path had to move it

Trees grass dirt

Graveyard at apartment corner of driveway real

Fake halloween gravestones stored there by lazy neighbors not taking them down

Fixing all of it to make it look good

Add my own

Concrete statue of Asian woman in chunky sandals capris and take too

Statue kept falling

Fell to pieces

Halloween Pooh Bear statue I owned and left there

Took back to my own porch

Decided to do more organizing and decorating

Going through storage box

Halloween masks Jon and I made

Jons witch mask ripped in half mine was fine

Pooh Bear in pumpkin concrete

Alien decorations

Moving from table to table to find best rearrangment

Rearranging furniture

Fish tank

Plugged in too hot

Water too low

Add a little tap water

Overflows

Afraid killed fish by shock

Afraid fish flopped out

Tank wouldn’t fit on any tables

Would slide off or tip over

Had to catch it

Asked Jon for help because of it getting hot

He accidentally splashed water onto the floor and it (like acid) exposed the apartment beneath us

Too dark in there to see

Saw a large pipe with water spitting out

She was home said she’d let josh know so he could help

She was average/thinner weight

Brown hair past shoulders

Woke up

Driveway

To see or drive up to a driveway in your dream symbolizes an end to your journey. It also represents security and rest. Alternatively, it denotes your path toward achieving inner peace and finding your spirituality.

To see rocks on the driveway refers to a rocky end to some journey.

Driving

To dream that you are driving a vehicle signifies your life's journey and your path in life. The dream is telling of how you are moving and navigating through life.

If your view is blocked or obstructed while you are driving, then it symbolizes your lacking awareness of something in your life. You are overlooking certain aspects in your life. Alternatively, the dream indicates dangers or problems that are not yet made known to you.

Obstacle

To see or experience obstacles in your dream represent things in your life that you need to overcome. The dream is offering you a solution on how to approach and tackle a problem in your waking life. You may have some self-doubt in your abilities and in coming to a decision.

Statue

To see people you know as statues in your dream symbolize a lack of communication with that person You feel that the relationship is inflexible, unyielding or going nowhere. Alternatively, it may represent someone you idealize and admire. You are putting someone on a pedestal. Perhaps the dream is analogous to their statuesque and nice figure.

Grave

To dream that you are at a grave indicates that you need to delve into your own subconscious in search of an issue that you thought had been put to rest. You need to stand up for yourself for no one else can do it for you. Alternatively, it represents something is about to be completed in your life. You are leaving behind the old and making a new start. The dream may also be a pun on feeling grave or concerns about a serious or sad situation.

Headstone

To see a headstone in your dream represents a forgotten or buried aspect of yourself which you need to acknowledge. Consider also the message on the headstone. It may indicate a statement about your life and its condition.

Cemetery

To dream that you are in a cemetery indicates an end to a habit or behavior. You are experiencing a rebirth. More directly, the dream may symbolize sadness, unresolved grief or your fears about death.

To dream that you are cleaning the cemetery suggests that you are coming clean about your past. In some Asian cultures, a special holiday revolves around surviving members of the family visiting and cleaning the gravesites of the deceased as a way to pay their respects. Thus in this regard, your dream may mean to respect your past and where you came from.

Halloween

To dream of Halloween signifies death and the underworld. Halloween also represents the temporary adoption of a new persona where you feel less inhibited and more comfortable to freely express yourself. You may also be trying to hide your true self. Alternatively, dreaming of Halloween reflects your childhood and the corresponding feelings that you associated with the holiday.

Mask

To see someone wearing a mask in your dream denotes that you are struggling against deceit, falsehood, and jealousy. If someone removes their mask, then it symbolizes failure in gaining the admiration and/or respect of someone sought for.

Witch

To see a witch in your dream represents evil and destruction. It may point to your negative ideas of anything feminine and your experiences with dangerous or heartless women. Alternatively, a witch may be a symbol of goodness, power and enchantment depending on your feeling toward your dream witch.

Porch

To dream of a porch represents your personality, your social self, your facade and how you portray yourself to others. Consider the condition and size of the porch. In particular to dream of an enclosed porch suggests of your tendency to distance yourself from others and your desires for privacy. If the porch is open, then it signifies your outgoing nature and welcoming attitude.

Furniture

To dream that you are moving furniture indicates that you are going out of your way to please others. Also, you may be changing your ways and trying to reevaluate your relationships/attitudes. Consider how easy or how difficult it is to move the furniture as they may indicate the level of burden or responsibility you are feeling.

Dresser

To see a dresser in your dream represents aspects of yourself that you are hiding. It may refer to your intimate self or childhood self. You need to reevaluate these emotions and either discard or incorporate them into your daily life.

Table

To see a table in your dream represents social unity and family connections. If the table is broken, wobbly or not functional, then it suggests some dissension in a group. It may also refer to a sense of insecurity. Perhaps there is something you cannot hold inside any longer and need to bring it out in the open.

Organize

To dream that you are organizing means that you need to sort out some issue in your life. You need order and stability. Consider what you are organizing and how it parallels an issue in your waking life. Alternatively, the dream signifies that you are in a rut. Life has become mundane and monotonous.

Cleaning

To dream that you are cleaning implies that you are removing some negativity in your life and overcoming major obstacles. You are moving ahead toward a new stage in your life. In particular, if you are cleaning your house, then it means that you need to clear out your thoughts and get rid of your old ways and habits. You are seeking self-improvement. Alternatively, the dream may be a metaphor that you need to "come clean" or tell the whole truth about some situation or matter.

To dream that you are cleaning an object represents an aspect of yourself that is not working or functioning as well as it should.

Fish Tank

To see or clean a fish tank in your dream indicates how you have full control of your emotions. You keep your feelings in check. If you are watching the fish in the fish tank, then you may feel that your life is going nowhere or that you are going in circles with your life.

Boiling

To dream that something is boiling represents transformation and/or sacrifice. There is something that you need to get down to the heart of. In particular to dream that water is boiling suggests that you are expressing some emotional turmoil. It also may mean that feelings from your subconscious are surfacing and ready to be acknowledged.

Help

To dream that you are calling or signaling for help suggests that you are feeling lost, overwhelmed, and/or inadequate.

Fiancé

To see your fiancé in your dream symbolizes your waking relationship with him or her. Often dreams focus on suppressed feelings that you have yet to express to your fiancé.

Hole

To see a hole in the ground denotes hidden aspects of your activities. On the other hand, it may mean that you are feeling hollow or empty inside. This dream may be an awakening for you to get out and expose yourself to new interests and activities. Alternatively, the dream may be a pun on "wholeness" or completeness.

Water

To see water in your dream symbolizes your subconscious and your emotional state of mind. Water is the living essence of the psyche and the flow of life energy. It is also symbolic of spirituality, knowledge, healing and refreshment. To dream that water is boiling suggests that you are expressing some emotional turmoil. Feelings from your subconscious are surfacing and ready to be acknowledged. You need to let out some steam.

To see muddy or dirty water in your dream indicates that you are wallowing in your negative emotions. You may need to take some time to cleanse your mind and find internal peace. Alternatively, the dream suggests that your thinking/judgment is unclear and clouded. If you are immersed in muddy water, then it indicates that you are in over your head in a situation and are overwhelmed by your emotions.

To dream that water is rising up in your house suggests that you are becoming overwhelmed by your emotions.

To hear running water in your dream denotes meditation and reflection. You are reflecting on your thoughts and emotions.

To dream that you are walking on water indicates that you have total control over your emotions. It also suggests that you need to "stay on top" of your emotions and not let them explode out of hand. Alternatively, the dream is symbolic of faith in yourself.

Floor

To see the floor in your dream represents your support system and sense of security. You have a firm foundation that you can depend on. The floor in your dream may also symbolize the division between the subconscious and conscious. Alternatively, the dream may be a pun on being "floored" or being completely surprised. Perhaps you have been caught off guard about something.

To see a polished or waxed floor in your dream indicates that you are keeping your subconscious suppressed. Consider the condition of the floor for further analysis.

Neighbor

To dream of having a good neighbor signifies enjoyment and tranquility at home.