#because they're deep. and complex. and there are so many things going on there

[thecptn-arch]

some things I want to do...

the captain's initial reaction to dying. I want his first meetings with the other ghosts. I want his first attempts to leave the grounds — he's probably trying to follow after havers. and oh, god I want to explore the feelings he has around that. being reunited after the war, only to have it ripped away from him in death, and all the things he couldn't have said to the man he loves. and having to let that all go. </3 </3

similar but different — more weddings. I loved how excited he was about it all, how eagerly he tried to help alison in redding weddy. I want to expore his reaction to more queer couples. to see two grooms, two men celebrating and expressing their love for each other in a way that he could have never had. it would be both soul crushing, but also ?? there would be a strange melancoly, a comfort in knowing that while james couldn't have that, there are so many other's who now can.

some of his old files, or old personal effects being found / dug up around the house.

he watches so many war documentaries, so... it seems plausible that lieutenant havers might crop up in one? and it's been so long since the captain has seen him, but oh dear god has he missed him. and he makes alison pause it, rewind it, just so he can see havers' face again.

[plaguedarts]

THE DOODLVERSE!

So this is basically just a collection of my personal designs/headcanons for the digital circus main cast :]

+ More headcanon info under Read More & a little life update at the end!

Okay headcanon info dump lets go!!!

Pomni: The circus's newest and squeakiest jester. She's incredibly good with numbers because her special interest is math. She's been diagnosed with Autism since she was young, but pursued an ADHD diagnosis as an adult. (Headcanon based on @bluepandadraws-log's comics). She's pansexual but doesn't really like to tell people about it unless they're close. Her tail seems to move of its own accord, and Pomni has very little control of it.

Ragatha: A dolly that's a lot tougher than she looks, with a complex for taking care of everybody except herself. Ragatha has many unaddressed "issues" that make her see herself as damaged and too far gone to be saved. She's never sought a diagnosis or therapy for any of it while she was still in the real world, so she isn't even aware that she shows symptoms of OCD. (Headcanon based on ‪@fridgevespidae comics). She's adapted to life at the circus but is by no means comfortable in it. Jax and Ragatha dated in the early days, but Ragatha wasn't all that attached to the relationship. She cared about Jax and still cares about him, but she just didn't LOVE him. She still isn't really sure if she likes guys, but liking girls is something she isn't ready to address yet.

Jax: A rabbitoid who entertains himself by any means possible (usually involving cartoonish violence). Despite how jerky he can be, deep down he cares about everyone else in the circus, especially Ragatha in particular. He's still not over his feelings for her even after all this time, and he's not sure how to cope with them. He's not sure how to cope with most things really. He definitely projects his own insecurities onto people, and he's got a fear of being alone with his thoughts. Can't be with people, can't be alone.

Kinger: The eldest of the group, a king piece who's largely lost his mind. He walks around with a hunch, yet his character model is still the tallest! He has a pet caterpillar toy named "Bug," and it's always crawling around somewhere on him. He may not always be of sound mind, but he only means well.

Gangle: A sweetheart with a mask as fragile as her feelings. Gangle remembers the anime shows she grew up watching more than her own life. She knew very early on that she was different from most people, and thought she had herself mostly figured out until she started questioning her gender identity and sexuality, not to mention being diagnosed with autism as an adult. She likes the label "pansexual," but still doesn't have a solid answer on her gender. For now, they call themselves a "demigirl." Zooble and Gangle are greatly able to relate to each other's struggles, making their bond even stronger. Gangle also has full control over her ribbon tail, often using it as a second appendage.

Zooble: Our local amalgamation of parts that really really doesn't want to be here! Zooble has tried to make the best out of their new body, but can't still can't find something that just feels like THEM. Though certain parts like the fox tail and cat leg seem to put them a bit more at ease. Without Gangle, they might have already gone insane. She's the only one that Zooble truly trusts. (Zooble is also in love with Gangle but in complete denial over it).

Okay now for the life update!

Soooooo I've been gone for quite a bit, and some of you might be curious as to why. I'm still alive as I can be, rest assured. I was just busy focusing on college since this was my final semester leading up to my graduation! It sucked and it burnt me out but I MADE IT!!!

I'm taking these next couple weeks to be lazy, but now I can focus a lot more on my art and stuff!

If you read this far give me a "🐛" because bugs are cool

[ancientgoddessofegypt]

Astro thoughts : short n sweet <3 moonshinin' <3

Moon in the first house - Very empathetic sweet creatures. Def could be used a lot by people that they love and trust because they can be very giving to their energy a little too much. Attractiveness is through the roof as their auras are usually more open. Very smooth, soft bodies and have an innocent energy around them majority of the time. Its hard to stay mad at them.

Moon in the second house - They need time alone so they can get their thoughts in check. This is a taurus ruled house, so sometimes their emotions can be thru the roof, but they can be extremely level-headed/grounded with the way they move through their circumstances. Money can flow to them smoothly if they keep their focus high on the prize. Other wise, they can be duped by peasants with their fortune if they are not careful.

Moon in the third house - Very practical, intelligent nature. Honest and self aware. Very deep and can bond with anyone if you let them. Truly can keep you on your toes with each convo they have. Can talk to much, or can be way too quiet No in between. Can make a friend outta anyone tbh.

Moon in the fourth house - Light hearted nature. Very sweet and kind to anyone they meet but they keep to themselves a lot. They do NOT like too many people in they're space and it is a treasure to meet them AND to have them around 24/7 because they do not like being around just anybody. You gotta be more complex to get to know them, they are truly a one of a kind. Mysterious nature.

Moon in the fifth house - Great actors. Have a lot of gifts in the arts and could soothe people's emotions with them if they allow their vulnerable side to show. Children LOVE them and are usually inspired by them. The personality of this individual is raw, gentle and nurturing and they must be protected.

Moon in the sixth house - Boundaries is a big thing for this group. Gotta keep their energy in check because they can almost be like in hermit mode. Needs friends that understand their nature to keep them balanced. Animals and plants are their best friend.

Moon in the seventh house - Can have issues with lovers do to their high intensity with their emotions. It's almost like people can't see them for who they are and theirs a lot of potential of a transformative love. With the moon shining its light here, they are almost capable of turning anyone into a special relationship if the chemistry permits.

Moon in the 8th house - Beautiful souls that have a gift in penetrating the minds, souls and bodies of the people they meet. They have internal woes that never seem to make it to the sky, but they know how to water them and make them grow in the ground. True balance is needed with them so they almost always are going thru dark nights of the soul just to get them their. They have a lot to learn, but also so much to show to themselves and others as the journey is a long beautiful one in the end.

Moon in the ninth house - Captivating souls who are needing to bond with people who can change the perception of their mind through the eyes of travel or simply growing in this lifes journey. They know a lot about their favorite topics and would love to share it with anyone who wants to listen to them. Calming auras who enlightens you with the way they think, and are meant to teach and inspire in some way, shape, or form.

Moon in the tenth house - The sweet talkers of the group. The audience just adores them. You really can't stay mad at them for to long. They have sensual energy and people feel this right away. Celebrity energy. Secretive by nature. Most don't know a lot about you, even if your emotional state is in full view to everyone. Masters of manipulation, don't say I didn't warn you ;)

Moon in the eleventh house - Can make friends as soon as they walk out of their house. Shy and reserved in new environments but tend to be a lot sweeter and open up when their comforted. Has a unique presence and a distinctive style. Could almost convince anyone of anything as their looks and attraction tends to make people look the other way.

Moon in the 12th house - Alluring. Majestic. Spontaneous & a wanderer. Protect these children at all cost. There is more than what meets the eye. They attract a lot of people like bees to honey. But flies like you too. Can't let everyone in, they don't know what to do with you. Gotta be more open with being yourself, no matter how mysterious you come off. Boundaries are needed for this group since they are more prone to evil eye as their secretive by nature. People are always trying to spy on them and see what they have that they don't.

[genderqueerpositivity]

I absolutely cannot wait for this election cycle to be over because genuinely what the fuck. I keep drawing parallels to the 2016 election because there are just so many similarities, but what I haven't said much about yet are the ways in which things are worse.

Having the majority of people I know or randomly encounter be Trump supporting Republicans is absolutely wild now, because sometimes they will just drop the most unhinged comments you could possibly imagine into casual conversation as if they're simply commenting that the grass is green or the weather is nice today, and every time it gives me this bizarre sensation like I am somehow the one living in a different plane of reality.

The Democrats are intentionally bringing undocumented people into the country and giving them drivers licenses so they can vote in the upcoming November election, and unless Donald Trump wins and is allowed to carry out his mass deportation plan the United States will never again have a Republican Christian president.

Joe Biden has been using the US military to release chemicals into the atmosphere for the past four years which have the ability to affect the weather in order to trick the American public into believing that climate change is real.

The attack on Donald Trump at his rally was rally a plot enacted by The Deep State, a secret group of powerful liberals who are running the country behind the scenes, and they don't want Trump to win in November because he is too powerful for them to control.

Joe Biden was replaced by a secret identical body double when he allegedly had Covid several weeks ago, and the double is the one who really dropped out of the election, gives all of his speeches, and does all of his interviews now for him.

Those are just the ones I heard last week.

And the reactions I get when contradicting these wild takes range from rage to mocking to a bizarre persecution complex. In 2016 and even in 2020 I was able to have a lot of productive conversations with many people who disagreed with me greatly on major issues, and that is largely not happening this time. If I dare to disagree, they turn to anger, attack me personally, or cry immediately that I'm denying their right to free speech. When bringing up my actual lived experiences with certain issues, I've been dismissed immediately as emotional and brainwashed. There is no room for discourse or discussion anymore, it has broken down.

I know that we've been going out of our way to call them weird, but we're not really talking about fringe weirdo conspiracy theorists anymore, we're talking about your neighbors and my coworkers and your aunt and the guy behind me in line at Aldi. These people are everywhere, they're 100% serious about believing in this shit, and they're voting Republican in November come hell or high water, truth be goddamed.

You know, the lives of millions and millions of women, LGBTQ+ people, undocumented people, and other marginalized peoples are at stake in this election but it feels increasingly like reality is at stake too.

"Alternative facts" sounded outrageous seven years ago...now they've made it a way of life. Unless we can correct course, and rapidly, it isn't going to get better.

[merakiui]

Mera!! ( ˶ˆ꒳ˆ˵ )

What’s your take on the octatrio reacting to an omega reader using their clothes or other items in their nest when they’re going into heat? I’m particularly curious what you think of Azul since idk if you’ve ever characterized him as an alpha. But I think all of them could be so cute regardless! Omega/omega and omega/beta have such good potential! ( ⸝⸝´꒳`⸝⸝)

They could be in a relationship, but I think it’d also be fun if reader just snatches their stuff without asking. Aaaaaaaaa (╥﹏╥) I just miss classic omegaverse tropes sm

:O omg I have so many thoughts about this!!! I love this trope,,, it's so cute and there are so many ways it could go depending on dynamic. I like to write Azul as an alpha because of my own self-indulgent preferences, but also I like to imagine he was an incredibly late bloomer and everyone thought he was an omega for the longest time until he finally has an actual rut and !!!!!! I could ramble on about that forever. <3 but I do agree!! There's so much delicious potential with non-traditional abo pairings!!!!

Being besties with them...... something something they're so attuned to your scent because you're close and so it's fairly easy for them to locate you,,, quite literally sniffing you out!!! I think seeing you cuddled up in your nest with his clothes and any other things that smell like him would make Azul feel so much better about your relationship, whether platonic or romantic. It reaffirms that you like him and are comforted by his presence and scent. That you trust him. Of course there's also the characteristics of your heat that make you much more receptive to him, which he'll use to explain and rationalize everything. T_T but deep down he's pleased and hopes that one day you'll ask him for his clothes. He wants to see you clinging to his shirt or wrapping yourself up in one of his sweaters all the time!!!

Floyd...... oooohh he thinks you're just the cutest. He'll keep his distance at first. He doesn't want to startle you or stress you out. But since it's him, you're familiar with his scent and it makes him happy when your pheromones are purely sweet and stress-free. <3 waaaa he adores you!!! You'll have to invite Floyd into your nest if you want him to come close and even then he's still hesitant because you're not in the right mind (if you're just friends). He's willing to lend you as much of his clothes as you want for your nest. It's cute seeing Shrimpy get so particular about everything, even more so when he sees you bundled up in his sleep sweatshirt. Floyd has really good restraint, so if you aren't in an established relationship then he'll tread carefully and do as you ask (unless if it's something outlandish,, like you asking him to knot you, to which he'll giggle and playfully dodge the demand with: "Shrimpy doesn't really mean that~") he understands omega hindbrain is usually running on carnal instinct anyway.

Jade is impossible to read most of the time, and when you do try to read him it's like solving a complex equation. >_< he can be so difficult (usually on purpose) sometimes... most of his teasing is there to distract you from his body language, how he's always so relaxed around you, but when you're in heat the last thing you're trying to do is dissect and analyze Jade's behaviors. Beneath that sharp smile of amusement, there's genuine sweetness and it's quite a heartwarming sight to see you hugging a bunch of his laundry close. Jade wouldn't be Jade if he isn't taking photos to later tease you about when you're not so heat-brained. He'll ask you silly and obvious questions like "Do you find my scent that enjoyable?" just to have his suspicions validated. Jade will stay to look after you and ensure all is well if that's what you'd like, but if you want anything specific from him you'll have to use your words and ask~ >:) how is he supposed to know otherwise? Give Jade one chance and he'll spoil you rotten in that nest, tending to your every need.

[delusionaltogether]

I feel like the reason why so many people don't believe in the possibility of Byler (because let's be honest, there's so many irrefutable evidence that they just choose to ignore but actually at this point they're very aware that it makes sense) is because they think there's no point for the show to leave Mike's feelings for Will so implicit or "hidden", but there's actually a very simple explanation for this (btw sorry if there's any mistakes English is not my native language so i used a translator):

Stranger Things has never been a series that exposes everything in a didactic way, especially when it comes to complex feelings and identities that are in internal conflict.

While Will's feelings are shown more clearly in the series (i think because he has already gone through the process of self-knowledge or at least a good part of it and is suffering in silence), Mike doesn't know how to deal with his feelings. He's stuck in an image of what he "should" be: the boyfriend of the girl with super powers, the idealized straight hero. But what he shows for Eleven doesn't even come close to the emotional depth he has with Will. With El he is robotic, insecure, distant. With Will he is vulnerable, protective... (Not saying he doesn't care about El, we know that's not true but i hope you understand what im trying to say)

"They could have at least made GA aware of this"

And who said they didn't? As I said before, Stranger Things has never been a series that shows everything blatantly. It has always been about subtext, symbolism and internal development.

They wouldn't just simply make Mike admit his feelings for Will that easily, because saying what he really feels would require him to confront things he is not ready to accept.

The series does show Mike's feelings for Will, but you have to want to see it: it's in the lingering glances, the way he always seems to be more truly himself when he's with Will and a lot of other things i could say here but i still have a lot to say.

They showed:

• Mike acting weird and uncomfortable around Eleven throughout season 4;

• Stuck trying to directly tell her he loves her, only being capable of such an act in one of the most tense moments of the series, when her life was at stake and her friend 's life too;

• Mike being the only main character who didn't have an emotional arc resolved, precisely because he still hasn't understood or accepted what he feels.

It was the same thing with the "love triangle" of Nancy, Steve and Jonathan. Nancy had a hard time telling Steve she loved him because she no longer loved him, but she didn't go around shouting that she loved Jonathan either. It took her a long time to figure that out. It was subtle, but evident to anyone who paid attention. It was something that developed little by little, with looks, deep conversations, the way Nancy felt more understood by Jonathan. The series showed their chemistry without forcing obvious romantic scenes. It wasn't a blatant love triangle. So why do you need byler to be so obvious to see that it's not a one-sided thing?

Also, if Mike's feelings for Will were so explicit, the tension in the narrative would disappear. The audience already knows what Will feels. The mystery lies precisely in Mike. The doubt, the discomfort, the contradictory signals... It's this ambiguity that makes the story more interesting. The drama is in not knowing for sure.

[dancing-dawn]

atsushi for the ask game 🙏

Oh my darling boy, my sweetest joy, oh, how this ask has brought the brightest smile upon my face. Hihi this is gonna be a long one, I tried my best to restrain myself, I swear!

Favourite thing

Boldsushi! SASSUSHI! I love how unapologetically cocky and no-bullshit he gets when surrounded by utter madness and at some (many) points he feels like the only reasonable person in the room. He is also literally the most unique and lovable (once you get to really know him) protagonist I've ever read. My boy is so complex and to me, out of the whole cast, he feels the most like a real person.

Least favourite thing

Atp I adore canon Atsushi so much, the only thing I dislike is his fanon perception. In particular - people who just do not get why he's a compelling protagonist and not a "weak pathetic crybaby." I am pointing knives at everyone who still dares to STILL utter those lies this after recent chapters.

Favourite line

*clears throat*

"Away with you... you fool."

...but! Considering that is not an original thought but a shamelessly stolen flirty dramatic ass pick-up line from our second best boy xD I'll give you another, the silly and the serious:

"All this cause of Dazai, well, Dazai, my ass!"

-> oh the amount of times I have rewided to hear this over and over, laughing hysterically every single time, oh dear

Ok now for the serious one:

"Akutagawaaaaaa!"

"People need to be told they're worthy of being alive by someone else or they can't go on."

-> I love this one because of how blatantly wrong he is. And by wrong, I mean having an unhealthy mindset plagued by deep-rooted trauma, and this being the only way he's learned to cope. That's why he's a fascinating character. He's not saying this as a "lesson" or "moral" to the audience, nor as an objective truth - he's simply stating what he believes in and what drives him to keep going. Obviously this is an incredibly dangerous life policy to have because if you surround yourself by people who don't have your best interest in mind, and you rely on them to tell you what your worth is and why you're allowed to live - then you're just doomed, you're playing with the hazard of life and walking the thinnest line between hope and despair.

I can get into how this also connects to Akutagawa’s influence on Atsushi as he, subconsciously or not, helps him grow in the direction of living seperately from his past and abiding by his own ideals (something that is mirrored by Aku's own struggles), seeing his self-worth and taking action EVEN if faced with his biggest fear of being alone, even when the world is against him and there's no one there to pat him on the back and tell him he did a good job, even when everything and everyone has fought for is gone and he's left to pick up the pieces and he needs to believe his strength goes beyond the tiger's prowess, that he exists for a reason and he is enough, he is allowed to believe himself worthy of going on...

...but this wall of text is gonna have no end, so maybe another time!

brOTP

Kyouka & Atsushi. There is just no stronger familial relationship than those two and their influence on each other's lives is very sweet and very important. For me this hits especially hard in Beast and makes me tear up, just a bit (totally). I also regularly think about the crepe scene and it fills my heart with warmth and joy. Big brother Atsushi, my love, I will die for you (im almost starting to sound like yk who, jesus).

OTP

Ahem, *clears throat again*

*picks up the microphone* *leans down and whispers*

"Skin Soukoku."

*the crowd claps and cheers, showering me with bouquets of daisies and black roses* *i bow and take my leave, the faintest trace of a smile on my face*

nOTP

mmmm I actually don't have one, I think?? Even tho I will die on my sskk hill, I respect all ships with Atsushi because they're just wholesome and fun if you imagine then in an alternate universe (where Aku somehow doesn't exist *cough*) I guess if you're fooorcing me to choose, I will have to say Dazatsu because it just doesn't make sense to me, I cannot even see it making sense in any universe or scenario - for me they are simply mentor and mentee, barely even friends at max. The hierarchy gap here is just too large, I feel. But I enjoy some cute fanarts here and there for fun nonetheless <3

Random headcanon

He is absolutely ogling every single cutesy tiger-themed article of clothing and furniture he sees but needs to restrain himself due to the imaginary flies coming out of his wallet. Kyouka notices this someday and buys him a baby tiger plushie or some cartoony tiger bedsheets (*cough* which I may or may not have already written into my wip *cough*).

Unpopular opinion

Considering my only habitat is sskk circles with very insighful people who understand his character mmmm it's a bit hard for me to know what is unpopular. But I'm gonna say that his flashbacks to the orphanage are not reduntant at all, no matter how repetitive they get, because it honestly feels like how a real person would experience trauma. It's not sugar-coated or glorified for the interest of the story, it just feels genuine yk?

Song I associate with them

Lacy - Olivia Rodrigo, because of this gorgeous animatic by @piedpip3rrr

For the love of everything, please just drop everything for a minute and watch this, if you haven't already.

Everything about it is sheer perfection - the storytelling, the relation of the characters to the lyrics, the incredibly expressive and gorgeous drawings, the coloring (that has a storytelling of its own even!!), the subtle motions that just pull on your heartstrings with every single beat. I love this thing <3

Favourite picture

*pushes my sunglasses slightly over the bridge of my nose and slides this across our imaginary table*

*disappears into the shadows*

...

*feral shouting resonates through the aforementioned shadows*

Ok OK LIsteN. I think, and I am correct, that we as a fandom have failed spectacularly by getting over this panel WAY so soon. Yes, I have the "you fool" one printed out at my desk and I stare at it lovingly every half hour or so, but THIS ONE! Oh, this belongs in a museum. I would pay money if I had to, just to rest my gaze upon it for a mere second. I believe I need not express myself on why it's so magnificent... but I'm gonna do it anyway, becuz who's stopping me, my blog my rules woooo! :D

1. Peak of Harukawa's new art style. Hands down. The softness of his features. The tender look in his eyes. The composition is strikingly dynamic and just heartbreaking to take it all in. There is a dream-like quality to it that makes it feel ethereal, yet it depicts a living nightmare.

2. Oh, the hand reaching out for Aku. The way he turned his whole body to face him mid fall. As if he's seeking comfort because he's scared to die alone and he's scared of leaving his partner, no matter if he knows his strength and believes in him with his whole being. The way there is not an inkling of regret in his eyes, because he's finally done the right thing. It's his closure, his retribution, his response to a sacrifice in his own name that he didn't believe himself worthy of. But now he understands. Need I say more?

P.S. Link to the Aku sequel because they shall always come as a pair <3

[smoulderingocean]

On June Osborne and Grief

I've been thinking a lot about June and grief in this final episode of The Handmaid's Tale. While there are some flaws, the more I've sat with it, the more I've come to appreciate the brutal and raw honesty of it.

I’m going to be straight with y’all before I get into the analysis: I have had serious issues with June going back to the start of the third season. I have serious issues with her still, as you can see from my posts from episode nine of this season. But with that said, there is something striking about her grief in this final episode and I'm going to be somewhat generous with her here as grief is a difficult, complicated, painful thing to live through and is something that happens for years and years. (Bruce Miller himself said June would be grieving this loss for 25 years and frankly I see that as a low estimate.)

Having currently been going through the grieving process myself, there are a lot of recognizable things going on here with June. She is numb, she is angry, she is detached, she thinks of good times warmly but can't linger on them because the pain is too fresh, and she has so many emotions that she can't work through them all.

The most prominent emotions we see with her are shock and anger.

Let's get the anger out of the way first because it's this part of the story that I see people upset with. And I get it! June's words are awful. They're cruel and heartless and they're lies. And she knows it. She's saying those terrible things for a couple reasons. The most obvious one is that June is projecting the feelings she has at herself towards Nick. She is angry with herself for not helping him and for not being there when he needed her like he always was for her. She is trying to justify the terrible choice she made, because she knows deep down when she accepts what she did, the devastation of it is going to destroy her because she made the wrong choice and it cost her the love of her life and her daughter her father and Nick's unborn baby their father. June knows that in the future she is going to have to explain to those two why their father is gone and that they may well reject her completely because of it. So by projecting her anger, she is protecting herself for the time being. But it will come to get her eventually.

June is also trying to ignore the fact that she is violent and dishonest. June is the one who is reaping what she sowed and she is suffering for it. By dumping those words on a dead man who can't fight back and force her to look at herself, she can push past a part of herself that she doesn't like and doesn't want to see. But she can't run from that forever.

On top of being angry at herself, June is genuinely angry with Nick. In a tight spot, he messed up and shattered every perfect illusion she had of him, turning him from a perfect dream to a complex imperfect human. A terrible, devastating thing happened as a result and in his panic, Nick did not tell her himself (not that I'm sure it would have made a difference) and that fear-based deception also hurt her. Things then fell to pieces because June in turn made a terrible choice. Without her Nick spiralled completely, lost without any love. It is not lack of sex we die from, it is lack of love, and this is starkly visible with Nick as the lack of love in his life drove him deep into Gilead survival mode and he died in the end.

I truly don't think June meant the things she said. She doesn't think he's violent or dishonest or bad or that he reaped what he sowed. In the episode she looks up at the sky and is clearly thinking of him in the moment. It's a subtle acknowledgement from her that he was truly good and he's in heaven, not hell, as she directed her gaze heavenwards and her eyes lingered. She knows in her heart who he was and where he's waiting for her, because now Nick can wait for her and he will be there for her when she gets there.

As for shock, June spends much of the episode in a daze, wandering around and just completely incapable of truly hearing kind words about Nick. Early grief is full of shock as our worlds are destroyed and our brains are trying to keep us alive and we are narrow in our focus. June struggles to even acknowledge those kind words to the degree that she needs to in order to even begin properly grieving this loss, but in the moment she knows Serena was right: Nick never had a real choice in life and if he did, that choice would have been her. (And these words again go back to her guilt- she killed a man who had no real choice and that's a terrible thing. Nick was possibly the most trapped person she knew as unlike others, he had no freedom anywhere that didn’t come compromised, and she made no effort to help him find his way out when he couldn't see a way.) She has an easier time accepting that Nick loves her, because it is impossible to deny such a thing, even after everything that happened- his love for her became his entire existence and she knew it (and frankly she liked it until it became imperfect). It is also impossible to deny he kept her alive and without him she is vulnerable. June is not someone that likes feeling vulnerable and so pushing Nick away in her mind is her trying and failing to not feel vulnerable without him there.

June looks at his apartment, at their little sanctuary, and smiles a broken, faltering smile. She wants to go there and to live in their love, but she is not ready and so she walks away. To go in she first needs to accept she killed him when she could have helped and that she rejected him in his darkest hour when she should have embraced him. In order to accept her role in his death, she needs to accept she is not a perfect person; she is not above others or more moral than them or more righteous. Without Nick there loving her, it'll take a lot longer for her to accept that as he loved all of her, good, bad, and ugly, and in a way no one else has. (And I think his love overwhelmed her and scared her in a way, as he loved her more than she'd ever been loved before.) But when she does, the real work in grieving will begin and that will take many, many, many years. It'll probably take years just for her to accept herself as flawed and that she killed Nick.

When she does accept her flawed self and then her role in Nick's death, I think she'll be grieving him more fully and will be able to open up that apartment door once more and then she'll embrace that he was a flawed man who she did love very much and that she betrayed him and not the other way around. She'll fully live in the love they shared and in the dreams they had that never came to be, and especially in what she has deprived their daughter and his child of. (At the very least, she needs to be looking for Blaine family members to help fill that gap, and this will come once she gets into this grieving space.) She'll def be experiencing complicated grief and will spend decades in the throes of it. But she'll get to experience the good side of things too, once she gets there, as the happy moments will be lived in more and will feel more happy and not bogged down by everything else.

I picked up on a bit of tension in the music in this ep and I think that combined with June's wife coloured teal coat is a sort of nod to her being like the wives of Gilead- standing by and causing so much pain in their goals of achieving their own ends, everyone else be damned. And June is having to face that she is like Serena in ways she hates and that Nick's death is the result of that.

With all that said, I just wish this show didn't rely on subtext so much. Bruce Miller had always relied too much on subtle glances and facial expressions, and doesn’t use dialogue and props enough. They needed a line of June telling Nichole that her Daddy loved her, perhaps another of her really feeling that guilt (Moira would have been perfect here, especially given she lost her fiancee and so she understands this specific type of grief well). A moment of creating a little memorial for Nick or pulling out a secret photo of him and smiling also would have been helpful in adding depth to her grief and emotions. All that would have tied June’s regret and pain together so much better. They lacked a balance with her cruel words and showing what she was actually feeling deep down. Yes, it’s not in her nature to be open or rational, especially when it comes to Nick. But having her do so, even if only with Nichole would have portrayed badly needed character growth.

All in all, after a lot of reflection, I think they got it decently right. Grief can be deeply ugly and we see that here. I just wish we’d seen the beautiful side of grief too, which is love. Grief and love go hand in hand and cannot be divorced.

[fairestbeard]

Addendum 2: other random sex jokes

+Notes on sex

Read the main article.

1) The white board

- Dildo being on the least of things to buy

- Toilet called Latriana

- Fak owing 69$ with "he sucks" pointing to it. 69 is an oral sex position.

- Stick man with spread apart arse hole labelled Fak.

I'll also like to add that we only see this full display of the white board/sus signs in Syd and Carmy's scenes only.

2) Ball Breaker top player list

3) More squirt jokes memes on the internet

4) Dom/sub Richie and Fak

5) Richie and Fak: horny mirroring of Sydcarmy

6) Syd spying Carmy's ass for no reason at all.

7) The Bear team really got jokes

Behind Syd's head is two zeroes, decimals from a larger sum but in this framing only the last zeroes are showing, so they look like eyes. There's an arrow linking two of them with the message fucku, with the u fainter than the fuck. So it could be read just as "fuck".

In this scene Carmy is sitting below Sydney, putting their eyes in different positions, high and low so,

00

00

The camera also films Syd mostly from below and Carmy from above indicating their point of view and how they're seeing each other.

Yes, this is a stretch. Yes, it most likely just a coincidence. But just imagine if it wasn't. And I'm telling you, there's at least half a chance that it wasn't.

_______________________

Notes on resistance to sex in The Bear

There has been much ado about whether there should be sex incorporated (in canon terms) in The Bear, with a lot of unusually strong voices passionately stating their aversion to the idea, especially between Carmy and Syd.

Many arguments have ranged from

"it's not a show about sex",

"Syd and Carmy's relationship is too beautiful and sex will ruin it"

"romance will cheapen the storyline and make the show basic".

I've heard people say "I ship Carmy with therapy" as if mentally ill people don't deserve a chance at love. Or that Syd has to be a lesbian/aroace, because she just has to be, even though she has never indicated in any form her sexuality yet. Many have said how the characters are sexier if they are actually sexless. Like a blank slate they can project their own fantasies on without the fear of the canon.

Another opinion is that it could be hinted that it's happening, but actually showing it would "ruin the vibes" and blah blah blah.

Most of these opinions sre led by racism/misogynoir and certain viewers being uncomfortable with the idea of a very unambiguous, unapologetically black character being paired with the white male lead. Because it shakes that image and perception of women like this being lower on the attraction scale in society (even though Syd (and Ayo indeed) is absolutely stunning).

Another reason for this strong resistance is... well... still racism/misogynoir but more insidious. It's the kind overlayed by the modernized Madonna/whore complex.

Now this complex in on a very long spectrum (and I won't go to deep into explaining this subject, you can find various articles on it) but on the lower end, it is often not very glaring and can be well hidden under the guise of caring too much about the character(s).

For the ones who want a completely sexless character(s), the reasoning often being that the characters are way too complex and well rounded to bother with another sexual layer, mostly directed at Sydney. This is classic madonna-ism.

And it is objectification!

The idea that a character being portrayed as a sexual being among other things ie, truly multidimensional, is a subtraction to that character is doing the exact thing you claim to seek not to do.

The next is the group who think Carmy and Syd's relationship is too special to be "tainted" by sex. The "has to be platonic" group. They describe it as some kind of pure, sacred thing in its complexity and intricacy and so it has to remain puritanically pedestalized and untouched by carnality.

“Where such men love, they have no desire, and where they desire, they cannot love.”

This is a quote from Freud himself describing the Madonna/whore complex. The pure woman is not supposed to be seen sexually as her value is depends on her "virtuousness" so the man who loves her must not desire her that way but must direct such desires away to the whore/mistress.

It is an iteration of this idea that is being placed on Syd and Carmy. A lot of this group don't have a problem with the characters having sex, just absolutely NOT with each other, so they'll have just anybody else play love interests to them. Anybody, no matter how bland or one dimentional. In this version of the Madonna/whore complex, Claire is fine to be the "whore", ie, the object of lust for Carmy - except in this case, it doesn't diminish her in any way. It, infact, raises her value to most viewers or at least it stays the same. But Syd for some weird reason stands to be devalued if she is an object of lust by the same man. A lot have verbally displayed disgust, on their behalf, at the idea of the possibility that these two adults from completely different backgrounds and histories, who hardly even know each other all that much yet, could be attracted to each other. Some have even described it as some form of incest. Wild.

And don't get me wrong, platonic relationships are absolutely beautiful and there's nothing wrong with two people having a deep, complex and intricate platonic connection. It's also ok if that deep, complex and intricate connection is also romantic/sexual. Sex does not degrade, diminish or defect.

The fact that the show, characters and relationships are so complex and nuanced doesn't close off room for them to also be portrayed as sexual beings. That's just a cop out. In fact the reason we relate with the characters and the show so much is because of how close they are to real life.

And in real life, sometimes...a lot of times...we fuck!

And that is not just ok but actually a beautiful thing.

[erimeows]

TFA Characters' Toxic Traits

Me with another TFA headcanon set? Who would've guessed. Got the inspiration for this one after realizing I'd done it with MysMes but not with Transformers. Enjoy!

Optimus Prime: Shoulders every single burden all by himself. Will not ask for help and open up to others when needed, even though not doing so ends up negatively impacting everyone more in the end than asking for help would've.

Bumblebee: Toxic positivity- enough said. You vent to him and he's like "oh but you have so much to be happy about!".

Bulkhead: Will not take sides in any conflict of his own accord even if he knows that one side is "right" if he fears it will upset any of his friends. Passively steps out of conflicts even when he's needed, unless it's an absolute emergency.

Ratchet: Refuses to open up about trauma that he has even though it affects the way he acts and negatively impacts the people around him, who are very confused as to why he acts the way he does.

Prowl: Has an ungodly superiority complex, tends to think he's better or smarter than others (even when he's not), though he's trying to work on that.

Sentinel Prime: I think we saw in the show, but he's very prideful and will never admit that he's wrong in any situation. Also terrible at offering genuine apologies- more of a sarcastic "I'm sorry you feel that way" than a genuine "I'm sorry I did (x)" kind of guy.

Jazz: Gets uncomfortable when things get too serious to the point that if people try to open up to him about something deep, he will change the subject or deflect them 90% of the time.

Ultra Magnus: Too by the book. Will do things that he doesn't believe in or ignore wrong doings for the sake of legality.

Megatron: Very selfish and very charming, which is a bad combo. Similar to Starscream, he will be nice to your face if needed and then screw you over in the end as long as it benefits him.

Starscream: So many, but the worst one is lying to people's face and then talking shit behind their backs or doing them wrong for his own benefit.

Blitzwing: Depends on which of the three personalities you're dealing with because they all have some pretty over the top toxic traits, but the worst and most prevalent one is that all three of them tend to belittle others to feel better about themselves- especially if their life is going bad or if they're feeling insecure about something in particular.

Lugnut: The Megatron obsession, obviously. It gets to the point that anyone and anything else in his life that should be prioritized get(s) pushed to the side for Megatron's sake when Megatron doesn't value him nearly as much.

Blackarachnia: Very vengeful and obsessive about getting revenge to the point that it's unhealthy. Obviously this is seen in her TFA episodes where she wants revenge on Optimus/Sentinel for what happened when they were in school- but those emotions are over a huge tragedy that happened in her life and are almost understandable. This toxic trait also applies to, say, someone who accidentally shoulder checked her or took her lunch from the staff fridge. If you wrong her in the slightest, she will make sure she has revenge, even if it was a genuine mistake.

Lockdown: Can't handle commitment. He's not scared of it, just not emotionally mature enough. Whether it be a job, a friendship, a romantic relationship, or whatever else, he won't commit. He doesn't care whose feelings it hurts or if he's passing up on something genuinely good for himself either.

Swindle: Also can't handle commitment, but I'd argue that his worst toxic trait is actually his concern for money. He's terrified of being broke to the point that it consumes his every waking minute. Sure, he enjoys the swindling, but if he misses out on money he panics and he will go to ridiculous lengths to get a good deal or to rip someone off.

[miwiheroes]

"You're overanalysing Byler!"

There is no such thing as so-called overanalysis. Media consumption is complex, and I can't believe how hard it is to get people to understand that what they are seeing isn't IT, y'know? Consuming a TV show is much more than simply accepting the content at face value.

Lately, we've seen this decline in media literacy. Milevens saying things like 'but Mike literally loves El' and that post where someone on tiktok was like 'wdym El hates being called a superhero? she literally calls herself one!'. And I'm sick of all intellectual conversation from people who are trying to understand, people who even have degrees in film studies and cinematography, being dumbed down to 'overanalysis'.

People watching Stranger Things sometimes completely miss the point. You don't need to get the point to enjoy the show and that's okay, but don't tell me I'm overanalysing things because I believe the show is about outcasts of society.

If media literacy is lacking (which it is), then overanalysis is good. I believe it could be a took to correct or balance out the passive consumption of media.

"But this post about xyz is definitely not what the author/writers intended!!! "

Hear me out: Analysis doesn't need to necessarily align with author's intent.

Media like Stranger Things is definitely designed with multiple layers of meaning and can be interpreted in many different ways. But there is also media that may not be as 'deep' or may not be as well thought-out. Even with ST, there are some scenes just there for fun or fan service and doesn't necessarily need analysing. BUT media always, no matter what, operates within a larger cultural, historical, and ideological context, which influences how it is understood.

For example, the intent behind a commercial may be to sell a product, but the analysis might focus on cultural stereotypes, gender roles etc. that the ad perpetuates, even if this wasn't the advertiser's explicit goal.

Using Stranger Things, Jancy sometimes parallels Byler. This isn't always the writer's intent, they did not necessarily purposefully have them be similar in some ways because they wanted the viewers to go "oh wait they're a similar couple, they should be together". But it's still good to analyse, because it tells you something deeper about the romantic tropes of the show.

In this way, overanalysis can reveal things about ourselves, things about the media that reflects how it interacts with our worldview in nuanced ways. It can still reveal things about the outcome of the media. We need overanalysis of unintentional meaning to reveal the intentional meaning.

The role of the audience in interpreting media isn't just trying to figure out what the author's or writer's original intent is. It can uncover far more than that, and helps us to gain meaning and specialty from the things we watch without it becoming a waste of time.

[miraculouslbcnreactions]

The Miraculous fandom has some of the most creative people I know in it. I mean this, positive sense.

However that same talent becomes a problem when people cannot distinguish between a narrative beat and their own post-hoc justification.

The second is useful now and again when any sort of media misses a beat or takes a leap. ML fans carry the narrative on their backs.

It's telling that you have so many fanworks out there that are equally or more valid readings of the canon when they were published that have been completely obliterated by future development.

I'm not talking the wild takes. I'm not talking ML suddenly turning shonen, or coffee shop AU. I'm not even talking 'Adrien gets equal screen time.' Just 'with what we know, what comes next?' type fanfiction.

It's like canon is deliberately trying to dodge anything remotely predictable... but narrative beats are predictable for a reason. They work. They're good storytelling. A twist can be good storytelling, but only if it is better in every way then the not-twist.

You combine the shock-at-all-costs mentality with ML fandoms devotion and creativity and you get leaps of logic that would make a crypto seller blush. It ends up going downright unhealthy places at times.

I know their hearts are in the right place. I know they just care about the show they've sunk time and self into, but there are times you have to step back.

It doesn't mean you have to give up or turn away from the media. You just need to be willing to admit 'This episode/throughline/season/beat sucked'.

Then you hope it gets better.

Not doing this now and then is engaging in cult behavior.

(Post that spawned this ask)

I fully agree. People liking "bad" media doesn't bother me. What gets under my skin is people defending bad media. I'm in a book club and we all own that we like books that are objectively bad. We don't defend them as good, we just like the good parts enough to drown out the bad stuff. That's normal and fine. You don't have to limit yourself to perfect and pure art if such a thing even exists. I can name flaws in most of the things I like, I just think the good far outweighs the bad.

Miraculous is not some deep and complicated show that requires you to watch every episode. The writers have flat out said it is supposed to make sense even if you miss seemingly vital episodes. This means that trying to go the deep and nuanced route to explain the flaws doesn't work. This is a show for young children. It is supposed to be easy to follow. If it's not, then it has failed at its job! Little kids have no expectations to subvert. Shows like Miraculous are supposed to teach them how stories work so they can go on and watch more complex stuff when they're older. (For us adults, shows like Miraculous are supposed to be cute escapism that lets us feel like kids again.) If no one can possibly predict where a story is going next at a high level, then it's probably a bad story.

To be clear, I don't mean that every plot beat should be obvious. It's just that the longer a story goes, the more obvious things should feel as all the little elements of the story build and come together. This allows the audience to get excited about what's going to happen next and keeps them engaged. Stories where literally anything can happen no matter how little sense it makes aren't fun because you can't get invested in anything. I'll take a predictable ending over an impossible one any day.

A perfect example is the season three final. That final was all about Gabriel winning because he knew Chloe's identity. This is spelled out in the episode and the episode setup.

Miraculer set up:

Gabriel: Chloé Bourgeois must become Queen Bee again! Nathalie: Are you still considering making her an ally? I'm afraid Ladybug has grown reluctant to giving Chloé the Bee Miraculous. She's being very careful. Gabriel: Then I will get Chloé to force Ladybug to give it to her. All I need is for her to lose all hope in Ladybug. To become angry enough so I can akumatize her. (smirks evilly)

Ladybug: I'm sorry, Chloé. I should've told you this a long time ago. I might never be able to let you be Queen Bee again. Queen Bee: What? But I did everything you asked me to. Ladybug: I know. But this is for your own safety. It's too dangerous for you and your loved ones because Hawk Moth knows that you're Queen Bee.

Final pay off:

Hawk Moth: Try it and see for yourself. You're Ladybug's greatest fan. You've helped her, you've trusted her. And what has she done for you in return? Chloé: (gets angry) Nothing! She couldn't care less about me! I'm done with her. She's irrelevant, utterly irrelevant! (reaches out to grap the Miraculous, stops) I want you to de-akumatize has my parents first! Hawk Moth: Whatever you say, my queen. (Chloé takes the comb and puts it in her hair, releasing Pollen)

Since the final also includes every other temp hero being outed this should mean that season four will go on to have Ladybug and Chat Noir starting from scratch, but is that what happens?

Nope! The mass identity reveal means nothing and everything is fine to keep going as is. Chloé's identity reveal being a problem was a one-off fluke we don't need to think about.

There is no justification for that. You can decide that you're willing to let the flaw slide and keep watching, but there is no way to make this a good choice for the story. It was the start of the secret identities holding less and less weight to the point where a lot of people no longer care about the love square reveal because it's been so incredibly cheapened. Marinette keeping her identity from Chat Noir no longer makes sense when it was once pretty reasonable.

[slater-baby]

Slater's Basic Writing Tips

A post on how I began writing, how I try to improve my writing, and how I describe my own writing!

This post was written per request by an anonymous ask. Refer to this post for the specific question.

A question from an anonymous writer:

"i was wondering if you could give us some insight on how you found your writing style? You have a way to make it still feel complex and full of emotion but also like the reader is right there with all the senses being touched upon. I don't know how to write about it without gushing, but my question is how did you learn to do this and what would you describe your writing style as? (as well as any hacks or tips)"

How did I begin to write?

It's hard to remember, but I really just jumped into the deep end. When I first began writing, I had no plans to do anything more than write short, 1k stories about frivolous things. I did no research, took no classes, read up on no advice.

I just started.

Of course, back then, I had no expectations for myself. I wasn't writing for a specific audience, nor was I looking to take myself seriously, and I think that helped in a lot of ways. Having fun with it, letting yourself make mistakes, and not being afraid to jump into the deep end definitely helped. In the end, all that mattered was that I was putting words down on the page.

I think that this works for a lot of hobbies. Like drawing for example. Say that you wanted to learn how to draw, but read no books on the subject, looked up no tutorials, and didn't take anyone's advice. Even without any instruction, if you drew a picture every day for 100 days straight, there would still be improvement in your ability to draw. In the end, it doesn't entirely matter whether you thought the drawings were good on a day to day basis, but rather the act of drawing that's important.

Writing is similar in many ways. And while I think that learning to write in a formal environment is great and should be encouraged for all people, practicing your writing without any rules or structure shouldn't be looked down upon either!! They're two sides of the same coin, and they contribute to your goal in their own individual ways.

Let yourself write shitty things. Let yourself write meaningless, stupid things. Trust me, it'll make your life better.

-

How do I try to improve my writing?

a. Read!

I've thought A LOT about what kind of advice I might give you, and while I don't have any concrete "hacks" to writing well, I think there are some things that every writer can do to expand upon their own abilities!

I know this is common advice, but it's true advice:

If you want to write well, you need to read well.

For a long time, I (like an idiot) assumed that I didn't really read that much, so when people were always saying that writers need to read, I was kind of like "huh well I guess I'm behind on the game lmao"

But, in actuality, I realized that that it was the complete opposite 💀 I guess it just didn't register in my mind because I don't consider reading reading....like, I just considered it me having fun alkdfjlkaf 💀

Like, reading is basically on the same level as playing video games and going to parties for me aldskjfaklj It's not a task so much as it is something I am actually viscerally addicted to lmao

I read at least 2 hours every day, usually more. I read for about an hour when I wake up and about an hour when I go to bed, mostly fiction novels. I read news articles every day at lunch for the large part of my break, which is about an hour. I read academic journals and nonfiction for class, and I also read other academic journals just in my free time 💀 that sounds dorky but it's not really serious reading as it is so much me looking up a question on google and then getting sucked into a journal about evolutionary biology LMAO

Basically, reading is like doing crack to me, and like a dumbass, I read so much that I actually thought I didn't read at all because everyone was talking about it like it was some big chore or something 💀

But honestly, it's great advice.

Read a lot. Enjoy reading a lot. Don't read just for the sake of reading, or because you have to do it. Read because you just fucking love reading! Read stupid novels that have bad reviews. Read short articles that don't mean anything. Read highly academic works for your studies, or read a journal about a topic you can barely understand purely because you're curious!

Don't let those haughty literature people tell you that you're only reading if you're reading something like Dostoevsky.

Reading is a skill and there are different levels to it. Maybe dense literature is too much for you. Doesn't mean you're worse than someone who can choke down the Iliad like it's nothing. Maybe it just means you want to spend time on things like Percy Jackson or Harry Potter instead!

b. Analyze the media you consume!

Now, this is definitely more difficult to do than just picking up a book and reading it. Admittedly this skill takes awhile to develop, and if you haven't done higher level reading in a formal setting before, you might find it kind of hard. However, if you're looking to take writing more seriously, then this is what I recommend. Here's a few things you should consider when analyzing a piece of media.

Just because you criticize something doesn't mean you can't love it, too. No piece of media is perfect. In fact, search for things you think a great piece of media could improve upon, and it'll help identify flaws in your own writing. For example, in the newest season of Severance (no spoilers), I thought that the time spent on establishing the scenery and atmosphere of some episodes was too long, and that that it lost the focus of the plot after a certain length of time.

There is no objective morality. There is no one set of beliefs that is entirely correct in the world. Claiming that one certain belief is entirely true is kind of like telling someone God exists: you really can't prove it. If a piece of media goes against your own views, consider what points the author makes that supports their thesis. Do you have to agree with them? No. Do you have to support them? No. But should you recognize that such a view point exists? Yes. It's important to always keep yourself aware of different points of view. Don't allow yourself to exist in an echo chamber.

If a piece of media leaves you confused, ask yourself why you're confused about the story. Is it because of the length of the piece? Is it because you don't recognize all of the words the author used? Is it because it's a view point you've never considered before? Or is it because the knowledge was presented in a bad way, making it hard to understand? If so, how could the author have presented it to make it more comprehensible?

Okay okay before this starts sounding like your high school English textbook, let's take a step back. You don't need to get out your college rule notebook and have your pencil at the ready to analyze a book you're reading. You can do it in small and meaningless ways!

If you're at the theater watching a movie, tell your friends what you thought about the movie! Listen to what they thought about the movie! Things like "I liked the story, but that one guy's acting kinda ruined the message" is a totally valid criticism, too. Same thing goes for books and movies! Like, "I really liked this book, but I didn't understand the words the author used in this scene, and it made the story hard to understand."

c. Take Grammar Into Consideration

Okay...this might be kind of an unpopular take when it comes to fan fiction, but grammar does matter. When it comes to short pieces, not using capital letters or commas might not seem like a big deal. However, at a certain point, trying to read something without proper grammar transforms from an innocent writing choice into an incomprehensible mess, especially when you're writing long form documents.

If you're considering writing longer pieces, please take the time to learn the rules of grammar. I promise it will help you get your point across so much smoother! Also, there are many readers who simply won't take a chance on your writing if they see that it's not properly formatted, and then they'll be missing out! Make sure to put your best foot forward for the sake of yourself and to give your readers the story experience they deserve!!

d. Find examples of writing styles you like!

This kind of goes hand in hand with my point about reading. While you're doing your reading, find examples of stories and media that you like the style of! Try to identify characteristics of that style that you're attracted to.

What kind of imagery is there? Is it metaphorical? Is it literal?

Do they use a lot of complex sentences? Maybe they like simple sentences, like getting straight to the point?

What's their tone? Are they blunt? Are they flowery?

When you're doing your own writing, you can try to incorporate these characteristics into your own pieces! Here's an example.

One of my favorite pieces of writing and media is the video game Disco Elysium. It's written so well. I really love the style of the author, specifically how he incorporates personification into his description of objects. I also like how he relies on fairly simple sentences to create visual description. In fact, if you pay close attention to Chapter 12: Glass Cut of Texas Red, you'll probably be able to see the influence from Disco Elysium peeking through my own writing style there!

e. Don't be afraid to sleep on it!

This.

This is my best writing advice.

You can read every book in the library, take every course at your local college on writing, and you'll still sit down one day and write something that you're just not sure about. Is it bad? Is it good? Is it some monstrous type of in-between that you can't even describe?

Fuck if you know.

And that's okay.

Not everything you write will be amazing. But instead of giving up on a piece that's halfway written when you get frustrated, close your computer and re-read what you wrote in the morning. Go do something else, clear your mind, sleep well in the evening, and give it some fresh eyes in the morning!

9 times out of 10 you'll be able to come to a conclusion on it in the morning.

The way I personally like to do it is this: Stare at my word document until I'm about to rip my hair out, slam my laptop closed, go play some mindless game for wayyyyy too long, and then sleep until my alarm physically cannot ring any more obnoxiously. Then, before I do anything else, I'll open my phone and squint through my exhaustion to reread what I wrote.

Idk how to describe it, but somehow, it works like a charm LMAO

-

How would I describe my own writing?

Oh god......this one I actually might not know 💀 anon you've got me

Okay, I guess here's how I would describe my style. It's highly...emotional for me. I think that's how I live my life, and I think my writing reflects that. For example, when you think about description in a novel, you often think of describing how objects and people look. But over the years in my personal life, I've discovered that I really just...don't care about the visuals of a person or place. For me, I rely heavily on how that person or objects makes me feel, not what my opinion on its appearance is.

If you read my story Indigo, you might have noticed that I never truly described what Simon looks like beyond small details of his person. Particular scars that were important to the story, what color his hair was, what clothes he was wearing--those were the only things I ever really described about his appearance, and even then, they were only written into the story when it was important to what was going on.

But, in actuality, Simon's appearance was incredibly important to Indigo. In fact, the entire premise relies on his fixation with his own appearance. But the way that I approached it wasn't from the visual standpoint, but rather his perception of himself, how his appearance made him and other people feel.

Is Simon ugly? Are his scars hideous? Are they so grotesque he should cover his face at all times? Or, even, abstain from love at all costs?

I don't know. I don't care what he looks like. But that's what Simon believes himself to be, that's how he feels, and that defines his perception of the entire world, regardless of what the true visuals of his story actually are.

That's partially why I like the emotional type of writing instead of just visual description, because it doesn't really rely on any objective truth to convey a message. That....and I honestly just don't think about how things look that much lmao

Like, once a friend of mine asked me what my ideal boyfriend looked like and I legit couldn't answer her. Because like??? I don't have an ideal man. I've dated men from all different backgrounds, different heights, different weights, different styles---I just don't really care about someone's body. I care about the feeling they evoke in me.

Texas Red is a bit of a different game though, and there's a story reason for that. Basically, the basis of Jinx and Simon's relationship is physical attraction. It's not emotional in the beginning. Jinx feels weird about Simon, not because he's nice to her, but because she thinks he's hot lmao

All in all, I think I prioritize the emotional experience of it above all else, and that's about the only defining characteristic I can commit to when it comes to my writing lmao

-

And there you have it! A few tips on how I approached my own writing, as well as how you can improve your own! I hope you guys enjoyed my (completely unwarranted) gushing on the subject lmao

Thank you so much to the anon who sent the original request! I hope that this little guide helps you out!

Until next time!

[last-words-ofashootingstar]

hi! i really like your baby series and i’m so intrigued with the storyline! this is not a request or anything, but more of a thought or like curiosity over the members relationship and thoughts of baby? how is it affecting them individually? do they truly not plan on freeing baby?

also, i think you’ve improved so much with your writing lately! love seeing authors grow<3

aaaaah thank you so much 🥹i actually got another ask similar to this;

im glad people are interested in this series, i've been really enjoying making it more fleshed out ! i was actually already writing a "deep dive" into baby and the members relationships just like to look at as a reference when writing more- so im glad people want to see more

this isn't a full chapter or written like one, more like headcanons for how each of the members interact with baby and how they're affected, and some bits and pieces of plot that i have in my head.

wondering wtf we're talking about ? read it here !

‼️disclaimer: it's important to remember that this is a FICTIONAL world. mental health is a complex thing, and this au explores it a lot: especially right now i'm going to talk about how this situation affects the other members of the group, and their mental health. take care of yourselves !

so,

as a group, as a whole, they're messed up. seonghwa is someone who they look up to and love and spend almost all of their time with, so obviously watching him do these things to someone is... uuuuhm let's say upsetting ? unsettling ? scary ? deeply messing with the very foundation of their relationship ? yes all of those things.

it's canon in the story that hwa has mental issues (clearly, because he kidnapped someone because he couldn't stand to let them leave) and he has since well before he met baby. he has outbursts of emotions that often end in destruction; whether it's of things, relationships, or himself. his members already know he's not "normal" but they love him anyway. they made a promise together to "do their best for their clearly challenged hyung", but what does that really mean ?

well for one, they didn't immediately call the police. i have an image in my head of them all having a very long conversation about what to do after they see him freaking the fuck out at the thought of them taking you away (i'll probably write this out one day soon). yeosang, who you're canonically closest too in the beginning, is obviously like "WTF DAWG WE'RE CALLING THE POLICE, DUH". i think it was most likely hongjoong who stopped him and the others from turning him in. he's his best friend and probably in a close tie with baby for being the one hwa's illness has affected the most (before san and mingi are subjected to watching hwa mental break someone, more on that in a second).

all of them are very torn, and i know that's hard to imagine probably — but think about it. they're his victims too. they've watched him for years as he went through the ups and downs of whatever disorder it is that he has. they're extremely close. to some extent, i'd say they're probably trauma bonded with him (when a victim and their abuser form a connection, "interspersed with periods of kindness and affection, which creates a sense of dependence and loyalty towards the abuser despite the harmful treatment"). mentioned in "Medicine", you're the reason he threw away his razor blades and the reason he was happy in the few months you were together. so they're afraid of him and of taking you away from him.

so how does that affect their relationship with his newest victim - baby ? i broke it down by member so i don't go crazy trying to fit them all into boxes 😭 we'll start with what's already been written as canon and then dive deeper (i saved san and mingi for last because i have soooo many thoughts)

HONGJOONG : baby no like. i briefly mention this in "Medicine", hwa has a picture of him in the room and you resent the fact that he's obviously so close to your kidnapper. but he doesn't treat you any differently because of that.

he made a promise to himself (lots of them did) that he'd try to help you and his only hyung at the same time (which is kind of impossible tbh and he knows this deep down). he lowkey resents himself, he prides himself on being a good person and you can't do that while being complicit with your best friend keeping someone captive and paying people hush money.

since he's hwas best friend, he trusts him to help "care" for you. it's times like that when joong tries to redeem himself. he'll tell hwa "yes of course i helped her take a bath", BITCH NO HE DID NOOOOT !! he (and the others) will never cross the line of making you feel more vulnerable than ever by looking at you while you're naked. he lets you do it on your own, and it's the only times you ever get to; so you start resenting him less and less as time goes on because he lets you have a little bit of independence. at some point, hate turns into just tolerance for the leader of the group. you don't mind him, but you don't like him either.

also because he's hwas best friend, he's the least afraid to stand up to him (because he's least likely to be attacked). whenever seonghwa is being especially overbearing or strict or clingy and he can see you starting to freak out, he pushes you behind him and tells hwa to take a walk to calm himself.

that's probably the extent of your relationship, because of your hesitation about him. you don't want to play with him when you're in little space and you certainly don't want to even talk to him when youre not.

YUNHO : nothing is really set in stone about your relationship or how everything affects him, but i do have some thoughts.

he was one of the ones on yeosangs side, wanting to immediately call the police. and when they didn't, he was just kind of numb to the whole situation for a while. it was probably something small you did that got him sucked further into the shit show. you accidentally broke something and cried about how hwa would be upset, or asked him to give you a piggy back ride because he was the tallest and you wanted to feel big for a moment.

whatever it is, after he interacts with you for the first time when you're in little space and not crying your eyes out — he's less hesitant. he wants to help you clean up the mess or hold you on his back so you can feel like you aren't squish-able in hwas hand, even for a second.

as he grows closer with you, he gets more and more upset with the way hwa treats you; because he's no longer distancing himself. he tried to stand up to hwa once. and only once...

YEOSANG : again, canonically closest to reader before the whole kidnapping debacle. so not only is he watching his hyung fall deeper into madness, he's watching someone he considers a friend be slowly broken day by day. he's undoubtedly fighting himself every single day on what to do. the logical part of him says help the innocent woman begging for his help, but his heart breaks every time he thinks of turning his friend of almost a decade in. he probably fell into a depressed state for a good while before he finally realized there was nothing he could do but try and help both of you (again, impossible).

you don't see yeosang after the first night for weeeeeks, and you're glad because you feel deeply betrayed that he's letting this happen to you.

when he does come around, you don't want to look at him (and you're not allowed to per seonghwa's no eye contact rule). but the first time he shows up in the apartment, he's on a mission to give you break from hwa regardless if he tries to stop him. yeosang just grabs your hand and tells to hwa, "im babysitting!" it's the first time you leave the apartment since you've been taken, and even though he only takes you one floor down and to his and yunho's apartment; you're immediately relieved to be doing anything without seonghwa breathing down your neck.

because of that, and your previous friendship, you forgive (?) him pretty quickly. he still has that voice in the back of his head saying that because hwa trusts him, he could just hold your hand and walk right out of the building. but he doesn't. because hwa's shouts and cries whenever they tried to pry you from him echo louder.

he's more afraid to stand up to him than joong is, but he still does it. not to his face. but things like giving you a bag of gummy bears or something when he's "babysitting", or letting you read or watch things hwas forbidden. letting you choose what to do before he comes and drags you back to your strict routine.

he still likes to think he's still your friend, but he knows better than that. friends don't hold each other captive.

WOOYOUNG : holy shiiiiiiit does he detest hwa. i mention he used to look up to him, but now can barely stand to look in his eyes. he even goes as far to hold him down when he reaches for you (along with yeosang in Medicine).

he loves kids, and while you aren't actually a kid, you're often forced into your mindset of one. he stormed off when they came to the conclusion that they wouldn't call the police, and while he came back around quicker than sang (because his best friend lives there) he was opposite of him. he ignored you completely. he wanted to distance himself as much as possible so he didn't break their promise to take care of hwa.

but, again, it's something small you do. you're all alone (besides the paid off bodyguard) while hwa is recording something. you look bored out of your mind, counting the tiles in the hall. you remind him of his brother. so he sits with you.

by the time hwa comes to get you, you're already attached to wooyoung. he's good with you. makes you feel like the world didn't end when hwa dragged you out of it and into his bubble.

he comes to love you (in a strange, broken way), while he hates hwa. every time he sees you crying (which is probably often), he's reminded of his brother and then the fact that you don't just act like a kid, you feel like one in your semi-permanent little space that seonghwa's built for you. and then, the two crash to together and he thinks about what if his brother was kidnapped ? this might be how he'd react, crying and begging for someone to explain why this is happening.

he does everything in his power to make you comfortable without blowing up everyone's lives in the process. he lets you nap in his bed whenever you want so you can sleep without hwa's arms locked around you. he looks hwa dead in the eyes as he throws you a piece of candy. he piggy backs you around the company building, taking turns with yunho. he even gives you a shoulder to cry on when you aren't in little space. he says he's sorry for everyone's actions and lets you rant and punch his chest until you exhaust yourself.

he doesn't feel sad (for hwa at least, like most of the others might. but he definitely feels sad for you). he's angry. at hwa, at the people who agree to be paid off, at the members, and of course; at himself.

JONGHO : canon bff. ngl i want to make a 12k story about you just being happy to make up for... everything lmaooo. lots of facts about you set in stone: you ran to jongho because he was the scariest looking member, and he protected you from hwa (if only briefly). he calls you little bear, and you call him big bear (im gonna cry). one of his shirts is your favorite sleep shirt- but hwa doesn't let you wear it often (cause he's a jealous jerk). he does lots of things with you and spends a lot of time with you, even helped you make a stuffed bear.

okay, all of that being said... he hates you. not YOU like as a person, he (like woo and others) comes to deeply care about you. but he hates the idea of you. in his mind, you made hwa snap. you made his company corrupt, you did this that and the other. but when he really sits down and thinks about it, YOU didn't do any of that. HWA did.

and the thought of that is too much for him to handle, so he puts the blame on you until the blame game dies off and he just accepts that this is nobodies fault but hwa's, and subsequently his for not being brave enough to give up everything they've worked for.

he, like sang, often takes you away to the other apartment to give you a break. they even have a little area for you specifically after a few months. because that's where you spend almost all of your time when not on hwas (thankfully metaphorical) leash. being that it belongs to two members youre closest with (woo and jongho) and the member hwa is closest with (joong); he feels safer letting you be there than with yeosang and yunho (he still thinks yeosang is going to steal you away and run off because you knew him before).

he'll also always come to you when hwa refuses to let you leave the apartment (either cause he's paranoid or you're being punished), he'll come and offer you a little escape from reality by reading you as many stories as you ask for.

whenever you slip from your little space, he strays away. because when you're in your right mind, you ask them why they're doing this and how can they sleep at night ?

and he doesn't have an acceptable answer for any of the questions you ask.

SAN AND MINGI : okay this section is for them as a whole but then more specific details for each of them.

because they live with hwa, and now you, they're unfortunately given a first row seat to the horror of their close friend doing everything in his power to break someone's resolve and will to fight. and HOLY SHIT DOES THAT FUCK SOMEONE UP. even though they aren't directly involved (most of the time) they have to see and or hear the abuse that takes place everyday. it wears them down almost as much as it does you (actually not nearly as much but still- good gawd dayum).

the day seonghwa had kidnapped you, they were the ones who heard you scream for help. san was the one to wrestle hwa off of you while mingi ran for the others. your screams for help as you banged on the wall to get their attention will very well haunt them for the rest of their lives. not only that, but your sobs the entire first week- especially at night. after the third night, san went to one of the other apartments; but mingi forced himself to listen to your sorrow because he was partly responsible. this was his punishment.

they had to watch you be carried from room to room, barely able to use your own legs. they had to talk most with you while never once meeting your eyes lest they face seonghwa's wrath. it's briefly mentioned that mingi had to take a three week hiatus to hide the bruises after he was caught looking in your eyes. while he had it bad, you had it worse. he made you kneel facing a corner, telling you that if you couldn't keep your eyes to yourself that you shouldn't look at anything at all, actually ! and you, and san who was in the other corner to avoid the same fate, had to listen to what he did. his punishment was only physical, and only once (that doesn't really make it any better but-) but yours continued for a week. and the both of them were forced to watch as hwa put you back in the corner day after day after you ate breakfast, only allowed to move when he said so. it was breaking your mind slowly, forced to look at nothing but the plain walls as life when on around you. the seventh day, they watched as you clung to his leg and begged like you were begging for your life.

they watched as you slowly became less and less defiant, and they started feeling like it was normal when hwa sat you down at the table every morning. they were broken down along with you.

but along with all of that, they also have the most to try and help you whenever possible (while sticking to their vague promise of helping hwa)

SAN : in "Losing Dogs", i tried to make him more empathic with reader, trying to get you to clam down so you can avoid hwa's anger. it's clear that he's attached to you by that point (around six months in), even calling you his own nickname of "peanut" (stfu why did i do that im gonna cry again) . in "Medicine", it's canon that he doesn't like to call you "Baby" because he likes to give you some sort of independence from hwa, even if you're too fuzzy headed to notice.

in the beginning though, he avoided you like the plague. he was only out of his room for meals (which hwa insisted should still be eaten together, like before). he didn't even glance your way even though he could feel your glare. he was detaching from everythiiiiing going on around him. it took him two weeks to even speak unprompted, even to wooyoung.

after the first two weeks, you were in little space more and it was less chaotic in the apartment, so his mind starting to think things weren't so bad even if his gut said this was still wrong.

your relationship started with small things, as with the others, when the timer hwa set for you allowed time with the tv went off- he turned it off, and left the tv on. telling hwa it didn't go off before giving you a knowing smile. he noticed your finger hovering over the button when the news channel was selected, but it never pressed down because hwa forbade it. so he caught you after lunch when you were on the way to the bathroom and told you what was happening outside.

he knew it was because hwa was trying to make you forget there was a world out there besides this building and the company. and that was something he could fix. it was little, but the smile on your face every day when he told you every headline he could remember was big. it became your secret meeting place.

during your week long time out, whenever hwa would leave the room; he'd run over and place his hands under your knees to give you a small respite until he heard his footsteps coming back. he was always back on the couch before hwa entered, like nothing ever moved.

whenever hwa is having an episode, you find yourself hiding behind san when jongho or sang aren't around. your fragile mind telling you that they're strong, so they'll protect you. and he does, until hwa notices you hiding and calms himself down so he doesn't scare his baby any further.

he knows it's wrong, he knows he could knock hwa out and take you to the nearest hospital everytime you end up at the table with a new injury. and he hates himself because he knows he won't.

no matter how much he cares about his 'peanut', his hyung comes first.

MINGI : OH MY BABY 😭 YOU RIGHT HES SO PRECIOUS i really be putting him through it omg... okay so, canonically; he's been at the receiving end of hwa's abuse almost as much as baby has. in "Serendipity", before everything, he still flinched and covered his head when hwa was yelling. obviously, he's already scared of him. his hiatus because the bruises, a hinted at escape attempt that ended similarly to looking you in the eyes

(only ten times worse because he dared to fight back to give you time to run as far as possible)

he already has anxiety, and stacked ontop of that is being a victim of hwas instability, and ontop of THAT is watching with san as he goes about making you completely compliant and dependent on him, AND ONTOP OF THAT is the fact that he's a good person stuck in an impossible situation; wanting to help you but also being attached to hwa and everything they've worked for. yeah, mingi is NOT OKAY. but he does his best.

he's close to you. and you're close to him. it's trauma-collective bonding TO THE MAX (when a traumatic experience or situation affects two or more people and they form a strong bond because of it) because you're both more emotionally vulnerable than the others. he isn't even on the same leveeeel as yeosang, wooyoung, and jongho. you have a bond like nothing else (even though it's still undoubtedly unhealthy).

after the first five days of listening you sob at night, he sat next to you at the table. he and san always sat on the other side before that morning. with hwa on your other side, he didn't see as mingi placed a comforting hand on your knee. one that seemed to say everything. hwa attributed your crying to the fact that you were still adjusting, and he never knew that it was because mingi was silently apologizing.

something i'm actually writing: after that, he said that he would always leave his door unlocked in case you needed a shoulder to cry on or even just a place to be away from hwa for a moment. the first time you took him up on his offer was the night after you both got in trouble for making eye contact. you snuck out of hwa's arms and came to mingi, even though you were scared shitless he'd wake up and find you missing from his side. you didn't say anything, and neither did he. it was an unspoken conversation that told him you knew he was a victim too as you locked eyes again, a hint of defiance in both of you despite what you had gone through just hours before. after that, the next time was a few weeks later after you tried to rapunzel your way out a window with some sheets. you asked if he still loved his hyung. he knew he should say no, especially when he was the cause of the scratches on your legs and the bandage on your crushed foot, the source of all of your pain.

but he still said yes.

(I WENT SO CRAZY WRITING THIS IM SORRY I JUST HAVE SO MANY IDEAS😢 THIS AU GOT ME IN A HEADLOCK)

[ghostorbz]

Everyone say hi to my

obnoxiously long ZADR analysis!!!

I've said it time and time again, these two have a deep and complex relationship that most people just write off as "just enemies" when they really aren't!! It's kinda irritating,,, so I wanna analyze how they act and treat each other (though a zadr lens) Because to me it's pretty obvious they deeply care about the other. I'll go over multiple episodes, the movie, unfinished episodes, as well as the pilot and comics and try to explain their relationship. Though some episodes (and many comic issues) will go unexplained if they center only around one of the two, around a different character. or if I just really don't have much to say.

1. The nightmare begins

The first time these two meet is in the first episode when Zim enrolls in skool. Dibs first reaction is staring and pointing at Zim looking crazy. Explaining to the other kids how he's an alien. Ending off the argument by giving the other a stare. After class Dib immediately confronts Zim, showing off his alien sleep cuffs and chasing him around. Zim eventually gets away (or,, flies away I guess) just for Dib to show up at his house and bang on his door saying he's been waiting for this moment and he's prepared. Dib never thought to prepare for garden gnome lasers and gets his alien sleep cuffs incinerated. That's all. I know there aren't any moments that could really be viewed as zadr material here, I just thought it was a good idea to talk about the first episode. It's when they first meet after all!

2. Parent teacher night

Zim thinks of Dib while he's walking home. You could argue Zims only thinking of him because he's worried about parent teacher night, and sure. That's fair. I just wanted to bring it up because it's pretty cute. Dib in Zims head smiles and laughs, even tells him to watch out for the dog. If this really is what Zim is imagining, why would he include him being happy and warning him if he hates him. You can't hate someone that much if you're imagining them smiling and laughing while walking home.

Later on, Dib introduces Professor Membrane to Zim. He runs off only to come back and splash him on the face with fruit punch. A playful thing, nothing insane. Dib even does the same thing later on. Both of them smile while splashing the other. It's silly and harmless. An easy way to express their rivalry without hurting the other.

3. Dark harvest

I know last point could be debated. "Zim was only thinking of Dib because he was worried." BUT. YOU CANNOT EXPLAIN THIS TO ME.

This scene, right here. Literally what was he talking about.

"You see Gaz, to defeat my enemy I must study my enemy, then become my enemy, then move in with my enemy, then wear my enemy's clothes then-"

THEN WHAT?? I could be looking too far into this, but it just seems so intentional. Very intentional. If Gaz didn't interrupt him what was he gonna say? Seeing this bit in another show gives me that answer,,,

WAS Dib gonna say date? Maybe. Perhaps. But we don't know. Other than this part though there isn't anything else I can really mention. Other than the,,, organ harvesting,,, but I'd rather not! So lets move on

4. BattleDib

While this IS a Dib centric episode, I wanted to note he has a hologram of Zims head. How did he get that? It seems to me that he made it, but that begs the question, how did he get everything right? I mean it's an exact replica of Zim out of his disguise. Does he look at Zim that often? And why a 3D hologram? It's not like he doesn't have photos of Zim out of his disguise. He has photos of Zim in his closet. They don't seem like drawings either, they're definitely photographs. This makes me think. Is Zim comfortable enough around Dib to let him take photos of him out of his disguise just for himself? He doesn't even let Gir do that, as we can see with the photograph of Gir and Zim in bad bad rubber piggy (this is assuming Gir took the photograph. It seems like something he would do) So why Dib? Dib has been shown to sneak photos of Zim, but the ones in his closet have Zim posing in some way, and they're pretty close up

5. Planet jackers

This episode is so good. I love it. But we're not here to talk about that. What we're here to talk about is how out of all people to go to, Zim goes to Dib. Zim rings the bell and waits for an answer. He seems nervous too, looking back at Gir for assurance with a worried expression and sighing. To quote another analysis, "When the chips are down it's always, "You're the only person who can help me." Usually they say it's because the other person is the only one with technology advanced enough to help, but there's more left unspoken."

Even IF the other doesn't help, they still go to eachother. They trust eachother enough to ask the other for help. Even if it's hard.

6. A room with a moose

Zim tries to send his whole class away through a worm hole in space. When Dib finds out, Zim doesn't hesitate to tell him everything that's going on. Even saying,

"This wouldn't be as much fun without you sticking your smelly nose in here." "You're really one of the only people who can appreciate the amazingness of this plan, so I'll let you in on what it is." "My mission might not be as exciting without you around to annoy me."

Zim talks about Dib (relatively) positively here. Saying his mission is more fun with him, how sending everyone away would be boring without Dib intervening, and even trusting Dib and letting him know what exactly he's doing.

7. Hamstergeddon

When Peepi starts destroying the town Dib doesn't even seem mad at Zim, just pointing and going

"Anything you'd like to confess?"

He's somewhat used to Zims antics by now. Later on when Zims knocked out Dib thinks over if he really wants to capture him. Of course, Zim wakes up before he can make a decision, but this one part sticks out to me.

"Wait! Zim, promise me you're on our side this time." "I know not of sides, earth stink. But for once I agree with you, the hamster must be stopped."

Dib asks Zim to promise him. Later on he even defends Zim when the army guys try shooting at him. Sure, it could just be because they agreed to work together, but along with Dib overthinking if he wanted to capture Zim, this shows he doesn't really want Zim to get hurt.

8. Bolognius maximus

When Dib tricks Zim into pricking himself with the nail tack, Zim seems to lose hostility towards Dib, smiling while grabbing his hand. The moment Dib "opens up" and praises Zim is when he thinks he's done well. He appreciates Dibs applause, in fact, it seems like he wants it. Saying "finally" before talking about how great he is.

Although, Zim can't find a cure for the baloney thing himself and goes to Dib for help. Dib seems really happy by this, literally GLOWING. In one scene, Zim and Dib glance at eachother when they fail making a cure the first time. To me, it feels like they're looking to see if the other is okay (which is really cute,,, I'm insane about stuff like that)

In another scene, Zim is freaking out because another attempt at a cure was failed. Dib puts his arms out; it seems like he wants to comfort him.

In the end, they never find a cure and hide from the dogs together. You know what they say, together in every universe, even the one where they're baloney,,,

9. Halloween spectacular of doom

The episode that made me ship them,,, siigh,,,

Zim is worried for Dib in the beginning, thinking he could possibly be dead, or a zombie. When Dib ends up escaping the crazy house, he immediately goes to Zim.

"It's the only chance."

When Dib gets captured Zim comes just in time to save him. He's still mad at him, but he comes through anyway. And the line that single-handedly made me ship them,,,

"I'm not here because I like you, Dib."

Dib looks surprised when Zim says this, he knows their relationship as enemies, but for Zim to say it like that shocks him. I wonder if Dib is thinking it in the opposite way, like how tsunderes in anime often say the same line when they really do like the other person. He then calls his head big and Dib responds, it seems playful. Zim then could leave Dib dangling there but no, he protects him and moves him to the back of the machine thingy

10. Megadoomer

When Dib is trying to get his camera back, Zim playfully throws it back and forth so he can't get it. Is this important? No. I just think it's cute. They also wrestled in this episode

11. Tak, the hideous new girl

When Dib finds Zim in his house and confronts him, it could easily be read as Zim being jealous that Dib is spending time with Tak instead of him. Dib even said he was jealous!!

This is also another episode where they team up, so that's nice

12. Backseat drivers from beyond the stars

THIS LOOK. Also the music for this part is really good. Just thought I'd add that

13. Mortos der soulstealer

Dib shows Mortos photos of Zim while talking about him. Not only does he just have photos of his "greatest enemy", he has one of him in the bathroom putting on his contacts. Zim and Dib also wrestle again!! Later on when Mortos leaves, Zim checks up on Dib who's screaming and crying on the floor. Zim seems to be at least a little bit concerned for him.

14. The girl who cried gnome

Zim says,

"I don't care how delicious he is, he's evil!"

"He" referring to Dib. Okay man. It kinda seems like you do care.

15. Vindicated!

While Dib and Mr. Dwicky are waiting, Dib draws Zim in the dirt

Seemingly for no reason,,, they weren't talking about Zim when he was doing this. They were sitting in silence. So WHYY did he draw him,,,

16. The most horrible x-mas ever

This is the episode that made me want to make this post! Originally I had thought Dib was smiling right before he threw the mini santa suit into space but APPEARENTLY I was wrong. I'm still adding it though because this part was the specific reason I wanted to make this

But one thing I can note is that this (sort of) is an episode where they help eachother out! At the end when Zim had given up Dib comes and rescues him. Even if he didn't know he was saving Zim, he did.

Zim seems thankful for Dib saving him too, at least until he's dressed up as the easter platypus.

17. The frycook what came from all that space

While this is a Zim centric episode, at the very end the two chase eachother around. Zim is back on earth and he's immediately brought back to what's familiar. His best friend, his worst enemy.

Now that we're finally done with all the episodes (that I felt the need to talk about) We can get started with the other stuff!! Starting with,,,

18. The pilot

Which you can watch here!

While I'm not sure if the pilot is canon or not, I would like to bring it up. There's a specific scene before the two start fighting where Zim actually takes some time to appreciate Dibs food launcher thing

"An arm-mounted food launcher! Neat!" "You really think so? Thanks! I was up all night working on it." "Well it shows." "Oh, quit it."

They seem to be a bit more friendly in the pilot, canon or not, it's interesting to see!

19. The return of Keef

The whole point of this episode was for Zim and Dib to be friendly in order to make Keef explode, since there was no animation made for it, here's the transcript instead

This shows that the two are embarrassed to be seen hugging, but is it just because they're enemies? Or is there a separate reason? I don't think anyone at skool would believe them to be friends because they hugged once. Or maybe they're afraid it might cause other feelings,,, who knows. It sucks this never got made, I would've loved to see Zim and Dib hug, it would've been super cute!!

20. Mopiness of doom

For this part, I will be using screenshots from Soapy Waffles. While they aren't canon it's the best visualizer for mopiness of doom that I've seen. You can watch it here!

Quite literally the most important part of their relationship gets shown in this episode. I've ranted many many times about this episode and I'll do it again. Dib goes on to pursue "real" science with his dad, while doing this he becomes depressed and sad. Zim becomes closed off and never leaves his house, spiraling into a pretty bad mental state. But the second Dib runs out of that lab and back to Zim both of them seem immediately happier. While they are insulting eachother, it's with familiarity, love. This episode shows one needs the other to keep themself happy. They bring meaning to eachothers lives.

The first scene shows them trying to stop eachother. Of course for it to not work out. The next day when Dib breaks the news to him Zim seems happy at first, but when Dib doesn't stay to watch Zim sounds genuinely upset.

At home, Gir does something stupid but Zim doesn't have the energy to yell or even say anything back. Gir takes this as an immediate sign that something is wrong. Back at Dibs house he's doing really well with his dad and "real" science. Gaz questions him about it, and he's faced with the thing he truly loves and his fathers approval.

A while later, Zim completely lets himself go. It's been weeks and Zim hasn't showed up to school. When Dib is back at the labs, Gir explains to him that he needs to help Zim get out of his depressive state.

Eventually, Dib explains to his dad that he doesn't like "real science." He likes chasing Zim and he likes the paranormal. He runs out and goes back to Zim, who's in disbelief. The two fight but instead out of hatred it's out of affection. Things are back to the way they like it.

On top of that, there's this clip (which I think about constantly)

21. Enter the florpus

Keep in mind I'm not rewatching the whole movie to write this, this has already taken about 6 hours as of typing this. So if I miss a part,,, sorry!

Dib waited months and months for when Zim would show back up. He sat there waiting for ONE person. The one person who also happens to give him meaning in his life

Later on when Zims in his "cheesy cocoon of misery" he explains how he couldn't get Clembrane to make pudding the way Dib likes. With Dib replying that he in fact, doesn't love pudding. Zim still tried to do something relatively nice by trying to get Clembrane to make good pudding for Dib.

And even with everything they've been through so far, Dib is completely willing to work with Zim

Another thing I would like to mention is that the artists/animators for the movie made a ton of doodles in between working, some of them being zadr related! You can see them here

22. Issue 9

Finally onto the comic issues! I haven't read all of them yet, and since there's so many I definitely missed some stuff, but here's everything I could remember. Starting with 9. In this one part, you can see Dib falling asleep on Zims shoulder

23. Issue 12

Zim rescues Dib and tells him to never forget that he hates him. Which could be read as "don't forget that I love you"

24. Issue 13

I don't know what to make of this one actually

25. Issue 30

After Dib found out Zim had the limited edition soda he needed, he did multiple things to try to prove to Zim that he should have it. Though he wasn't very good at them. So Zim decided he wanted a compliment from Dib. Why? Absolutely no clue. After some (intense) thinking, he compliments Zim. Though this could be read as if Dib is embarrassed or flustered

26. Issue 40

I have talked about this before here, but I wanted to mention it again as it SERIOUSLY messed with my head. Knowing that it's canon (if comics ARE canon) that they're together in every universe is insane. I love them so much guys

27. The canon (?) invader zim ending

Okay,, I'm not entirely sure if this is entirely canon or not, but I would like to mention it. In this comic, Zim takes over earth and loses all of his hostility towards Dib and they go to another planet with bunnies and they're having a happy fun silly time. It's really cute!

And I think that's all for now,,, I know I probably missed some things, but I think I got a lot! This has taken like, 9 hours. So hopefully this is good!! I looove zadr so I enjoyed just talking about them :3 uhh BUT YEA!! That's allll I think maybe

[dark-konohagakure2]

Can I have Pain overstepping the boundaries and using his influence to turn one of his cute and very devoted civilian followers (f) into his secret, personal stress reliever/pet? She really believes in his godly image and wants to worship him (because he's going to save everyone, after all!) so he uses it a bit behind closed doors?

tw: power imbalance, idol worship, God complex, piercings, cock worship, collars, mild petplay, praise, age difference

All characters depicted are 18+

Pain is viewed as a God in the Hidden Rain Village, and he has many devoted followers who worship him like the God he is, its something that satisfies Pain, yet her never indulges in it too much, except for when it comes to a very good, devoted little follower of his, who's adoration is much more noticeable than the others'.

She's such a good little follower, always addressing him politely and looking more than happy to prostrate herself before him, she even gives Pain little offerings, although they're just silly little trinkets that a God had no use for, but Pain enjoys having such a giving disciple regardless.

Pain will even give her a gift as well, a reward for being so loyal, he'll give her a nice, pretty collar just for her! Of course the naive thing doesn't think anything of it, her doe eyes lighting up when she receives such a thoughtful gift from none other than her beloved God himself, and she vows to wear the pretty and degrading gift everyday from then on.

The Akatsuki leader finds himself growing all the more attached to his adoring follower, in fact he likes her so much that he'll invite her to his very own living quarters for a very intimate worship session between just the two of them, he already knows she'd do anything for him, so he wants to put her faith to the test in the most pleasurable way possible.

"Now, let's see how deep your devotion goes, little pet... I want you to worship every single inch of my being, starting with right here..."

His Rinnegan eyes will remain fixed on her as she eagerly worships her body, her eager mouth exploring his cock, balls, and thighs, her tongue moving like an overeager yet inexperienced puppy as she tentatively licks the piercings on his shaft, doing her very best to pleasure her domineering God.

Pain won't talk much when she's 'worshipping' him, only speaking when it's to praise her and guide her along, or to reprimand her if she does something wrong while handling his most sensitive body parts, he'll also tell her that she should he honored, as other residents of the Hidden Rain could only dream to even lay a finger on Pain.

Pain will even deign to touch her with his own hands, gently stroking her hair and occasionally tugging on her leash, admiring the way she had kept the collar on everyday since he gave it to her. He won't be rough with her unless she's doing things wrong, but she won't mind either way, believing that everything her Lord does to her is completely deserved and just his divine judgement.

Pain will quietly gasp and groan as he finishes, cumming inside of her willing mouth. He's never came inside of anyone before her, so the fact that a godly figure such as himself would cum in such an innocent and simpleminded girl's mouth makes her feel very special, a notion that Pain will affirm.

"Good girl, little one. You've done a splendid job at providing your loyalty. If you continue being so dutiful, perhaps I'll plant my seed deep inside of you next time..."

Pain is a very busy man, leading both an entire village and a dangerous terrorist organization, but regardless of all the duties on his shoulders, Pain finds himself making more and more time to spend with his new pet.