#bold of me to declare this funny

[sculptural-renaissance]

Is the McRib back yet

[hqmillioncorn]

FFXIVWrite Day sixteen: Jerk

with @windupnamazu 's Cinnamon .

Airy flew past a couple of trees until she came in sight of a bridge. The immense amount of power she sensed must have been around here somewhere! “Ah-ha!” There it was! A girl that was holding a book! Next to her was another lalafell and a something-or-other that was also lalafell shaped. Whatever it was, it was really small. It looked like they were all looking at something. Airy flew closer and noticed they were all conversing with a fairy. She was a fairy too! Now was her chance! Airy launched herself towards them, kicking away the other fairy with a swift kick. “I’m Airy! Nice to meet you!”

Airy adjusted the sunglasses on her face as another sudden rainstorm decided to hit the Isle of Babycorn for what felt like the seventh time in the past three days. The rain was starting to fog up her sunglasses and it was getting a little too dark to see now too. “Annoying…” 

But if there was anything that Airy was, it was stubborn.

That was also partly the reason she was currently sunbathing in the middle of the field where Babycorn’s various pets grazed. According to Airy it was the best spot on the island to sit and soak up the sun. Even though it really wasn’t, she would die before admitting she was wrong.

“Airy.”

Airy heard her name being called and the flapping of wings next to her and did her best to ignore them. At first she thought it must have been the alligator trying to eat her again but then she remembered alligators can’t talk. 

“Airy!”

“Sorry she’s busy! Try again later!” Airy rebutted. 

The voice calling her name groaned, “Airy if you stay out here you’re going to literally MELT!!” They sounded very desperate. Almost like they didn’t want to be out here either. 

And that’s because she really didn’t. 

“Hahahahahah! HAH!!” Airy laughed loudly, “There’s no way I’m gonna melt! Besides, the water isn’t even hitting me!” She wasn’t lying. Despite sitting in the middle of a rainstorm Airy was as dry as Babycorn’s corn bread after she left it in the oven for thirteen hours by mistake.

“That’s because I’m holding an umbrella over you idiot.” 

Airy’s sunglasses slid off her face. Now that she could actually see things with her eyes she finally was able to see a very tired looking Cinnamon flying above her. She was indeed holding an umbrella. “Well maybe you need that. But I don’t!” Airy boasted, “Unlike you I’m underbaked remember? This girl is already soft and gooey!”

Cinnamon rolled her eyes. “You’re about to be even more softer and gooey-er if you don’t follow me back to the cabin!” 

“Why should I? So I have to be surrounded by the power of friendship~ Everywhere I turn with no place to escape? No thank you!!”

At least Airy had finally admitted that it wasn’t safe for her to be flying out in the rain. It wasn’t ideal but it was a start. “Just find a stupid little corner to brood about your ‘evil intentions’ and you’ll survive. I promise.” It was hard for Cinnamon to perform air-quotes while holding an umbrella but she managed. 

Airy stood up in her beach chair and stared Cinnamon down. It was the most serious Cinnamon could recall her sister looking in a long while. Not since they reunited back in Old Sharlayan.

“Am I going to have to deal with them flirting right in front of me too?”

Cinnamon raised an eyebrow in confusion. “Do you mean Lunya and G’raha? Yeah probably.” Just earlier today during a game of volleyball they had teamed up to form an unstoppable duo. With the incentive that whenever one of them scored a point the other would give them a kiss. 

“No! Not them!!” Though Airy couldn’t stand them either. 

Cinnamon thought out loud again. “Coco and Melmeltan…?” Just before she left to fetch Airy she did recall them sitting on one of those little chairs together to watch the rain.

“Not them either!!”

“...V-Vertical and B’ig..???” She hated to break it to her sister but someone needed to tell her that those books Babycorn bought (that she couldn’t even read) were just fiction with no basis in reality. 

“I know those books are made up! I just like reading them!!!”

“Then what in the seven hells are you talking about?!” Cinnamon was starting to lose her patience. On the bright side of things, maybe if they stayed out here long enough arguing about this, the rain would actually stop all on its own and she could leave Airy to continue doing whatever it was she was doing. 

Airy flapped her green wings in frustration. “I’m talking about Babycorn and that Butt guy!!” A few vivid angry sparkles flew out of her. “I can’t stand watching them just…be gross like that! I can’t stand anyone flirting but they’re the worst!!”

Cinnamon was at a loss for words. She was so dumbfounded that the umbrella almost slipped from her hands. Now that would have been a real disaster. “You call that flirting?!” Cinnamon gestured behind her to where the cabin was. Last she had seen Babycorn had been tied to a pole to stop her from eating the worms coming out of the dirt and Butter was sitting next to her throwing berries in her mouth. 

“Babycorn and Butter couldn’t flirt their way out of a soggy cardboard box.” 

An opinion that Cinnamon was always willing to share with others. Even Butter. 

“I don’t care what you say! I can’t stand seeing them talk to each other!” Airy put her foot down, both literally and figuratively, “Everyyytime after Babycorn talks to him it's always ‘Do you think Butter would like this scarf?’ or ‘Isn’t Butter sooooo funny??’ I’m sick of it!!” 

“D-Does she really say that?!” Cinnamon could hardly believe it. She needed to store this information to tell Butter later. No doubt he was going to flip out once she told him. 

“Yes! She does! And she’s SOOOO annoying!” Airy pointed an accusatory finger at Cinnamon. “And it’s all that guy’s fault!! I don’t like him one bit! Why do you have to hang around him so much?!?!” 

“You don’t mean Butter do you?”

“Who else could I mean?!”

Who could ever dislike Butter?! He was kind, loving, and always willing to help anyone with anything. If anything Cinnamon thought he was too nice! He was optimistic to a fault and would always try to look on the bright side and find the good in everyone and anything.

“He’s too much of a stinkin’ goody-two-shoes!!!!” 

“Y-Yeah…??”  Well she couldn’t really deny that.

“At this rate he’s going to corrupt Babycorn and then we’ll never be able to take over the whole world!”

Cinnamon knew it would eventually come to this. “Listen Airy. I know you’re going through your whole evil edgy chuuni phase but you can’t tell me that you’re so deep into it that you’re hating on love. Are you?” 

“Yeah! I do! I hate it!!” Airy yelled to the heavens as loud as she could. So everyone around could hear. While Airy was much like Cinnamon-where only people with the echo could understand her, most people on this island could thankfully understand both of them. 

“Uh-huh. Got it.” So Airy really didn’t hate it. She was just trying too hard. Cinnamon noticed that the rain was starting to let up. Maybe if she waited long enough it would stop altogether and she could leave Airy alone to her own devices. 

“If you hate saving the world so much-why did you team up with Babycorn of all people?” 

Teaming up and helping one of the Warriors of Light seemed to directly contradict with Airy’s goals. “You’ve already helped her save the world more than once. Haven’t you?” Cinnamon had no real idea what Airy’s role had been in Babycorn’s adventure but she did know that her sister had been at Babycorn’s side for a few years now.

Airy had told her herself. 

“That is to say…” Airy pouted and looked away, her wings began to slow their flutter down. Cinnamon knew that she had hit one of Airy’s weak points just like she had back in Old Sharlayan when they finally reunited. 

“I have to make sure someone else doesn’t take over the world before me! Y-Yeah that’s it!” It sounded like Airy was trying to convince herself more than she was trying to convince her sister. “And-! Not that it’s any of your business-but I teamed up with Babycorn because I sensed her potential!” 

“The Warrior of Light thing?” Cinnamon wiggled her large sleeve around. Not that Cinnamon couldn’t sense some magic off of her but it was the same as everyone else that lived in the same mansion. There certainly was no way to tell otherwise that Babycorn was Warrior of Light material. 

The girl eats mud for breakfast for goodness’ sake!

“The Starsinger thing! Ah-duh!” Airy rudely clarified. 

“Oh right.” 

Cinnamon didn't know that much about Babycorn’s Starsinger thing. Only that Butter was happy that Babycorn had trusted him with a secret so personal to her. Something about unlimited energy and warping reality? It sounded like a lot.

“And that’s why you decided to travel with her?” Cinnamon asked. 

“That’s right! And that’s the entire reason I’m still traveling with her.” She felt the need to clarify. “As someone with no love in my heart of course I’m just using her to meet my own needs.” 

“Wow. So cool Airy.” How profoundly dramatic. 

A rumble from the sky interrupted Airy and Cinnamon’s conversation. 

Cinnamon was worried that the rain was going to get stronger. If the wind started to pick up then her umbrella wouldn’t be enough to protect her and Airy. Just as she was about to tell her sister they needed to go, she was surprised to see her already flying next to her, all ready to go.

“Come on Cinnamon! We gotta go!” Airy was sort of pushing Cinnamon along. Trying to get her to fly back to the cabin faster.

“Woah! Hey! What’s the rush?” 

Not that Cinnamon didn’t understand wanting to get out of the rain as fast as they could. Being gooey and turned into cookie mush would totally ruin this vacation.

Airy flew in front of Cinnamon and wildly waved her arms up and down. “Babycorn gets really nervous during thunderstorms! I need to go and make sure she’s okay!!” Cinnamon noticed that the haughtiness to her sister’s voice had all but disappeared. 

“And because Cherry is gone she’s probably doubly scared!” 

“Doubly huh?” That was a word that Cinnamon had heard Babycorn use once or twice. “Okay. Let’s get going!” She also had to make sure that Butter and Pancake were alright too. 

Cinnamon and Airy carefully began their flight back to their cozy cabin.

As they flew back, Cinnamon couldn’t help herself. Even at the risk of being pushed out into the rain. 

“Ha! Guess you do care about her after all!” She stuck her tongue out at her sister.

As Airy sat down on the balcony overlooking the ground, she watched as Babycorn walked out of the cabin, an umbrella in her hand. The storm had passed and now only the leftover droplets from the clouds were falling on them.

Even if it wasn’t a lot of water, neither Cinnamon nor Airy were about to risk going out. Not until the sky had all dried up. 

Airy flew into the air to get a better view of what Babycorn was doing. 

That’s when she noticed that someone was under the umbrella with her. 

“It’s that Butter guy!?!?!” Airy was astonished, flabbergasted, some other third thing! 

Babycorn was kneeling down on the ground, there was something in her hands. Airy noticed that it was a very large slug. Kinda icky if you asked her. But Butter was looking at it like it was the most interesting thing in the world. 

“What are you up to…?” Was he trying to get on her good side to use her for something too?

Airy watched as Butter tucked the umbrella’s handle under his arm and hunched down to the ground beside Babycorn. He picked something up and showed it to Babycorn, it was a wriggling worm. He must have asked her if she wanted to eat it since Babycorn looked deep in thought. 

Eventually Butter set the worm down and they both watched it wiggle away.

Babycorn and Butter looked at each other and laughed.

“Hmm…” 

Something inside Airy was happy to see Babycorn so happy. 

“You can live for now kid.” Airy sat back down and looked up at the clouds, hoping that her evil glare would be enough to drive them away. “For now.”

[blueberrybirdsworld]

What's in my bag ?

Summary : While filming a “What’s In My Bag?” video for TUMI during a dreamy shoot in Lake Como, Lando Norris proudly shares his favorite travel items: headphones, cinnamon mints, lucky charms… and a stack of Polaroids of his girlfriend.

Until one very private photo slips into the mix, and suddenly the internet sees a whole lot more than he meant to show.

Genre : suggestive, fluff, oneshot

Pairing : Lando Norris x reader

Warning : mature content, allusion to nude and sex activities

Main Masterlist

Author notes : funny and soft oneshot to bring a little bit of joy after the race of Sunday. Everyone please stay safe and if you can, stay away from social media if it gets too hard after this week-end race, love you all <3

Lake Como glistened in the soft morning light, its surface scattered with diamonds of sun as gentle waves rolled against the dock. A light breeze rustled the cypress trees lining the water’s edge, carrying with it the scent of pine and polished wood from the nearby villas. Birds chirped, water lapped, cameras clicked.

And somewhere on a private terrace above the lake, Lando Norris was trying not to sweat through his linen shirt.

“Alright, we’re rolling in three, two, one...” the cameraman’s voice faded into silence as the red light blinked on.

Lando sat back in the sleek director-style chair, a black TUMI backpack resting on his lap. He adjusted the strap, cleared his throat, and gave the camera his signature, cheeky grin.

“Okay. Let’s go.”

His voice echoed softly against the terracotta walls behind him.

“This is my TUMI backpack. I take it everywhere, especially when I’m traveling. It’s kind of like my...survival kit,” he chuckled, unzipping the top compartment. “You’ll see what I mean.”

One by one, he began pulling items out, placing them carefully on the small table beside him.

“First up: my headphones,” he said, holding up a sleek black pair. “Can’t live without these. Whether it’s music, Netflix on the plane, or zoning out in the paddock, these save me.”

He paused and smirked at the camera. “They also help when I’m pretending not to hear Oscar.”

The staff behind the camera chuckled.

“Next... passports. Plural. Yeah. I have three.” He fanned them out like a hand of cards, laughing. “I’m international, baby.”.”

He dug deeper into the backpack and pulled out a small, velvet pouch. Opening it carefully, he revealed several stone bracelets in warm earthy tones.

“My mum got me these for Christmas,” he said quietly, his tone softening. “I don’t always wear them on track days, but I keep them close. Just… makes me feel a bit more grounded.”

He placed them gently down and then brandished a small tin.

“Cinnamon mints,” he declared proudly. “For the sweet tooth. Helps with cravings. Or when you want to pretend you don’t eat like a raccoon at midnight.”

More laughter. The atmosphere was warm, friendly. Lando was in his element, somewhere between boyish and bold.

“Now we’re getting to the fun stuff.”

He pulled out a tangled mess of keychains, one shaped like a tiny McLaren helmet, another a fluffy orange pom-pom, and the last: a piece of tissue with the initials LN sewn into it.

“A fan gave me this,” he said, holding it between his fingers. “I’ve had it for years. It’s falling apart but... can’t travel without it.”

He smiled at the memory, then paused as his hand slipped into one of the deeper side pockets. His brow furrowed.

“Oh... wait,” he muttered, pulling something halfway out before immediately stuffing it back in.

He looked up at the camera, suddenly sheepish.

“Uhh...yeah. Some stuff I definitely can’t show you,” he said, grinning and scratching the back of his neck. “Let’s just say... it's better to stay protected”

The staff broke into laughter. One of the camera guys let out a dramatic “ooooohhh.”

“What?” Lando laughed, holding up his hands in mock innocence. “You never know, okay? I like to get prepared.”

Still grinning, he reached again into the bag and pulled out a small, silver disposable camera.

“This guy comes everywhere with me,” he said. “I take film photos when I travel. Stuff that’s just for me, you know? Not for Instagram. Just memories.”

He held it up with affection, then reached in again and began pulling out little mementos: a handmade skull keyring from Mexico, a folded receipt with something scribbled on the back, a broken friendship bracelet.

“I’m kind of a hoarder,” he admitted. “These are all... pieces of places. People. Moments. I like keeping them close.”

His hand brushed against something in the side pocket. A small, rubbery bottle.

He pulled it out before he registered what it was.

There was a beat.

He stared at the camera.

The bottle gleamed in the sunlight. Bright pink. Labelled clearly ' Lubricant: Strawberry flavor' .

“Oh. My god.”

He blinked, went pale, then immediately turned red.

“I...okay, that’s not, this is not...this wasn’t meant to be in here.”

He stuffed it back into the pocket, eyes wide.

The cameraman wheezed behind the lens. A staffer covered her mouth.

“I swear this is not... I didn’t pack this bag this morning!” Lando stammered. “Okay I did, but not, like, not with this interview in mind so I didn't know I had to show it.”

Lando groaned. “Can we cut that out? Please? It’s for...dry skin.”

“Oh wich part of your skin?”

He buried his face in his hands and trie to change the subject.

Still flustered, he grabbed one of his tech pouches and unzipped it, desperate to pivot.

“Oh!” he beamed. “Okay. These are my favorites.”

From the padded pouch meant for a laptop, he pulled out a neat little stack of Polaroids tied with a red ribbon. He untied them quickly, holding the first one up to the camera.

“This... is my girlfriend.”

The way he said it, like he couldn’t believe his luck, was soft, sincere.

He flipped through the pictures with reverence.

“This is her in Spain last summer. Look at this, she was trying to take a serious photo and I made a face behind her.”

He laughed.

“This is us in Monaco. Don’t ask how I convinced her to get in the pool. She hates cold water.”

Another.

“This is her sleeping. And this... this is her at breakfast, in my hoodie.”

His smile melted into something private, like a quiet sunrise behind his eyes.

“And this...”

He held up the next Polaroid to the camera without looking at it first. There was a beat. A pause.

From behind the camera, someone made a choked noise.

Lando glanced up. “What?” Then looked at the picture.

“Oh...oh, no. No, no, no...”

He yanked it back quickly, his ears flushing bright pink.

“Shit, this isn’t...this was not supposed to be in that pile.”

He stuffed it deep into the side of the bag, clutching the remaining Polaroids protectively.

“Oh my god, please can you blur it,” he groaned, covering his face. “That’s from the other pile. Like...the private-private collection.”

The entire crew burst into cackles.

“I swear to god if that makes the cut, I’m a dead man. She’s going to kill me.”

“Was that a nude?” someone asked, not even trying to hide the glee.

“I am not answering that.”

“Was it?” the assistant pressed.

“I plead the fifth,” Lando said dramatically, still red-faced. “Blur it. Blur it, please. I’m begging you. I have a career. I have a relationship.”

He tried to laugh it off, but his smile was flustered, eyes wide and nervous.

Eventually, he cleared his throat, trying to move on.

“Anyway. My phone. My wallet. You know. The boring stuff.”

But even as he listed the rest of his items, he kept glancing at the camera, haunted. Regretfully boyish. Still blushing.

“Alright. That’s what’s in my bag,” he said quickly, snapping the backpack shut. “And apparently... a reason to get murdered by my girlfriend.”

He groaned again. “Can we cut that part? Please? I swear, she’s gonna make me sleep on the balcony.”

The red light turned off.

The staff burst into applause.

“Best interview yet,” one of the directors laughed, clapping. “Gonna break the internet.”

@TUMIofficial

WHAT’S IN MY BAG with Lando Norris: Lake Como Special Catch our exclusive behind-the-scenes interview with what Lando really carries with him👀

@_user1 WAIT. Did he just… show a nude of his gf on camera?? 😭😭😭

@_user2 THE WAY HE PANICKED. omg that was NOT staged. He looked like he wanted to die 💀💀💀

@_user3 No bc I NEED to know what was on that Polaroid. Was it like artsy nude or nude-nude?

@_user4 LMFAO he had the audacity to hint at condoms, then literally WHIPPED OUT A NUDE LIKE IT’S A FAMILY VACAY SNAP 💀💀

@_user5 He carries cinnamon mints for his sweet tooth AND spicy pics of his girl?? man’s layered fr

@_user6 Not Lando Norris accidentally exposing his thirst for his gf on a sponsored ad 😭 someone check on the TUMI PR team

@_user7 Lube AND nudes of his girl?? Lando Norris is not packing for a trip. He’s packing for a weekend of sin.

@_user8 He really said: “this is her being pretty, this is her sleeping… and this is her NAKED” lmao LANDO WHYYYYY

@_user9 This man is not traveling. He’s on a mission.

@_user10 Lando really opened that bag and gave us: emotional support bracelets, cinnamon mints, protection, lube, porn. He's got range.

@_user11 “Some stuff I can’t show you” and then five minutes later accidentally shows us 😭 this man has NO filter and NO chill

@_user12 This isn’t a “what’s in my bag” this was a “what’s in normally in my bedroom drawer but I somehow take it everywhere in my backpak”

@_user13 He said “I like to be prepared” and I believe him now

@_user14 “That’s from the other pile” UM. HELLO????? THERE IS A PILE??

@_user15 Protective AND obsessed with his girl?? I need a man like Lando

@_user16 He really said “what’s in my bag?” and the answer was: horniness

Texts messages

Y/N Just watched the TUMI video 😇

Lando Oh no.

Y/N The one where my nude photo makes a guest appearance in front of 1.2 million people? 🤗

Lando BABE It was an ACCIDENT But don't worry it's blur we can't see a single thing I didn’t mean to pull that photo I meant the cute ones!! The breakfast one!! The one where you’re wearing my hoodie!!

Y/N So you show the one where i’m wearing nothing at all?

Lando I’m sweating I’m actually sweating I’m gonna get sued. by you. By TUMI. By your parents

Y/N My mum did text me She said “interesting campaign... very modern”

Lando NOOOOOOOOOOOO I’m crawling into the lake

Y/N Also “i like to be prepared”? Really? What exactly are you preparing for mid-flight with lube? 🤔

Lando Dry skin!!! I said it's for my dry skin!!!!!

Y/N Right Because when i think of skin hydratation i think of edible lubricant 🙃

Lando I’m scared to check twitter Someone called my bag “frat boy coded" They’re not wrong

Y/N You do carry condoms, lube, candy and a Polaroid of me naked in the same backpack You’re like Dora the Explorer if she was addicted to sex

Lando DORA?!?!?! 😭

Y/N “What’s in my bag?” Everything but self-control

Lando Okay, first of all, RUDE Second of all… the lube smells nice Third of all… You didn’t complain last time

Y/N Oh so now you’re doubling down??

Lando Just trying to make the best of my public humiliation Besides What’s so wrong with carrying a few... essentials? A man’s gotta travel prepared

Y/N You sound like a horny boy scout

Lando “Always be ready” is a valid motto 🙋‍♂️

Y/N Valid until you drop a bottle of lube in front of a camera crew

Lando They laughed so hard i thought someone was gonna need CPR

Y/N You’re lucky i love you And you’re lucky the nude was actually a good one

Lando Thank you 🥺 i almost show the one where you’re biting the sheet but i had... instincts

Y/N INSTINCTS???? You mean your last two brain cells had a moment of clarity

Lando Pls Do you still love me?

Y/N Debatable Might depend on whether or not you bring me almond croissants when you will come back

Lando Deal But only if you let me take a new Polaroid… One just for me to see😉

Y/N … Good luck on media day tomorrow Norris

Lando Oh no god I forgot about that

The paddock was already buzzing by the time Lando arrived, hoodie up over his head like he was trying to go incognito. Not that it helped, cameras turned as soon as he walked through the gates.

Media day.

He kept his head down, offering a few tight-lipped smiles to passing crew and journalists. He could feel the looks. The barely contained smirks. The PR team had already warned him to "expect commentary.” He hadn’t realized commentary meant the entire motorsport world was now intimately familiar with the contents of his bag.

He reached the McLaren hospitality unit and headed straight for the driver lounge.

Oscar was already there.

He looked up from his phone the second Lando walked in, and the smile started immediately.

“Morning,” Oscar said, way too casual. “Sleep well?”

Lando didn’t answer. Just dropped into the chair across from him and stared at the ceiling.

Oscar waited half a beat.

Then: “So… what’s in your bag today?”

Lando groaned, eyes closing. “No.”

“No what?” Oscar asked, blinking innocently.

“I’m not doing this with you.”

Oscar nodded slowly, tapping his phone against the table. “Right. Of course. Strict media day focus. No time for lube talk.”

Lando didn’t move but look at him shocked. “Oscar!”

“Yes?”

“I will actually fight you if you keep talking”

Oscar continued, unfazed. “I’ve learned a lot about you this week.”

“Please stop.”

“Your skincare routine. Your travel essentials.”

“It’s for my girlfriend,” Lando muttered.

Oscar nodded slowly. “Romantic.”

Lando looked at him. “I didn’t mean to show half that stuff.”

Oscar took a long sip of his water bottle, then added, deadpan: “You were really sweating.”

“I was panicking, Oscar.”

“Yeah. I noticed.”

There was a pause.

Oscar looked back down at his phone.

“I just didn’t know you were the type to carry… souvenirs.”

Lando threw his head back and groaned. “It’s private. It’s supposed to stay private.”

Oscar raised an eyebrow. “You handed it to a camera crew.”

“I didn’t know it was that one.”

Oscar hummed. “Risky system.”

Lando covered his face. “I’m not coming out for media. Tell them I’ve combusted.”

Oscar leaned back again, shrugging. “Might be safer. Someone from Williams asked if you’re sponsored by Durex now.”

Lando didn’t respond. He was too busy trying to crawl into his chair.

Oscar gave a tiny, satisfied nod.

Then, after a beat: “At least the mints were normal.”

“Thanks,” Lando said miserably. “Really comforting.”

Oscar took another sip from his water bottle, then looked back at Lando, who was still sulking in the chair across from him, hoodie half over his face.

After a moment, Oscar spoke again. Calm. Curious.

“Okay, but... I actually have a question now.”

Lando didn’t move. “Please don’t.”

Oscar ignored him, tone completely deadpan. “What’s in the pile?”

Lando sat up slowly, blinking at him in horror. “What the hell, Oscar?”

Oscar stayed relaxed, perfectly composed. “You said it yourself. There's the normal Polaroids. And then there’s the private-private pile. So… what’s in it?”

“I am not...” Lando pointed at him, absolutely done. “...having this conversation with you.”

Oscar raised a brow. “Just curious. For science.”

Lando stood up instantly. “I’m leaving.”

Oscar shrugged. “Fair.”

Lando stormed toward the door, muttering something about changing teams, changing sports, maybe even changing names.

He was halfway out when,

“Oi!” Oscar called after him. “Don’t forget your backpack, Norris.”

Lando froze mid-step.

Oscar was already grinning.

“You left it,” he added, far too casually. “Y’know… the one with your precious things in it.”

Lando turned around like a man walking back into a crime scene, snatched the bag off the chair with one hand, and glared.

“Stop talking about it,” he muttered.

Oscar just smiled. “I’m not saying anything.”

“You are thinking them.”

Oscar leaned back, unfazed. “I’m not.”

“You’re being insufferable.”

Lando slung the bag over his shoulder and walked out without another word.

As the door shut behind him, Oscar shook his head slightly and let out a quiet laugh, just enough to himself, just loud enough for it to echo in Lando’s memory for years to come.

taglist : @bunnisplayground, @vampgege, @chocolatemooncoffee, @sashisuslover, @gold66loveblog, @carlando4, @il0vereadingstuff, @lilith-123321, @ispywlittleeye-blog, @h-rtsnana, @anonomano, @guacala, @charlotteking27, @ninass-world, @scarletwidow3000, @taetae-armyyyyy, @mynameisangeloflife, @tsuniio, @sophxxkiss, @teti-menchon0604, @angelluv16, @httpsxnox, @anunstablefangirl, @chocolatemagazinecupcake, @mayax2o07, @freyathehuntress, @verogonewild, @lilyofthevalley-09, @esw1012, @its-me-frankie, @linneaguriii, @ezzi-ln4, @rlbmutynnek, @actuallyazriel, @sofs16, @thulior, @sltwins, @henna006, @stylesmoonlight12, @lilaissa, @sideboobrry11, @l3thal-l0lita, @lorena-mv33, @ispywlittleeye-blog, @lesliiieeeee, @sageskiesf1, @adynorris, @curlylando, @rebelliousneferut, @justcharlotte, @secret-agents-stole-my-bunnies, @emneedshelp, @lando-505, @yukimaniac, @sashisuslover, @f1norris04, @dustie-faerie

[areislol]

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤhow they react to a child wooing you

pairings. various (hsr + genshin impact) x gn! reader

warnings. fluff, mentions of jealousy, established relationship

a/n. i find men getting jealous over a little kid so funny, never fails to crack me up.

wordcount. 2.4k

synopsis. how they react to seeing you getting wooed by a child

you’re casually minding your business when a bold little kid struts up to you with a flower they picked from who-knows-where. "you’re the most beautiful person i’ve ever seen!" they declare, face as bright as their words.

"awww, thank you sweetie!"

"...."

the jealous one (despite their big age)

the moment the child runs up to you with wide eyes and a flower clutched in their tiny hand, you can practically feel the temperature shift around you.

whether he's subtle about it or blatantly obvious, as they watch this scene unfold, he is most definitely NOT thrilled. he can not believe his eyes right now.

he doesn’t mean to react the way he does—it’s not like a child could ever be serious competition—but something about the moment sends a spark of possessiveness through him. his entire demeanor changes. his arms cross over his chest, his jaw tightens, and his eyes narrow slightly as he watches the scene unfold.

just what in tarnation is this stupid kid doing?!!?!?

he’s not angry at the child, but the audacity of it throws him off. really? even kids are lining up now? he thinks to himself, feeling his pride take an unexpected hit. as you crouch down to accept the flower with that sweet smile of yours, he can’t help but bristle. there’s a tug at the corner of his mouth that he tries to suppress, but the faint scowl is hard to miss

he crosses his arms, as if the whole situation is beneath their concern, but his sharp eyes never leave the child. he visibly stiffen, his body going tense as they quietly seethe.

when the child boldly proclaims their affection for you, offering their flower with the confidence only a child could muster, you suddenly hear a quiet scoff under his breath, muttering something like, “ridiculous,” before he speaks up, eyes trained on the poor child.

“a bold move, kid, but maybe aim for someone your own size next time.” his tone is teasing (is it really??), but there’s an unmistakable edge to his words, his presence looming protectively by your side.

after the child scurries off, his chest puffed up with pride at his bravery, the jealous one steps in almost immediately, closing the distance between you as if to reclaim his territory.

“so,” he starts, his tone casual but laced with pointed sarcasm, “should i be worried? do i need to watch my back now?” his eyes search yours, and though he’s trying to play it cool, there’s a hint of vulnerability in his gaze—a silent plea for reassurance.

if you laugh and tease him about being jealous, his cheeks darken slightly, and he huffs, looking away. “i’m not jealous,” he insists, though the way his arms cross tighter over his chest says otherwise.

“it’s just… what kind of guy lets someone else give his girl flowers without saying something?” his voice trails off, grumbly and defensive, but you can tell he’s mostly embarrassed by his own reaction.

later, he finds ways to reassert his place by your side, subtle but deliberate. maybe it’s the way he holds your hand a little tighter or slings an arm around your shoulders when you’re out together. he doesn’t need to say it outright, but his actions make it clear: you’re mine.

there’s a faint air of possessiveness to their actions, whether it’s the way they guide you away from the scene with a hand on the small of your back or the way they glance over their shoulder to make sure the child is gone.

if you call him out on their jealousy, the reactions are just as varied. he will deny it outright, scoffing, “jealous? of a kid? don’t flatter yourself.” but their lingering glances and subtle protectiveness give them away.

he simply shrugs, his calm voices betraying none of his innerturmoil: “it’s only natural. beauty like yours is bound to attract attention, even if it’s… unconventional.”

for the rest of the day, you’ll notice small shifts in his behaviour. he'll stand closer, touch you more often—whether it’s a hand on your arm, your waist, or your shoulder—and find little ways to remind you of their presence.

his jealousy, as amusing as it is, only serves to highlight one thing: he want you to know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that he's the only one who deserves your attention.

— CHILDE, SAMPO, WANDERER, BLADE, aventurine, MOZE, DR. RATIO, jiaoqiu, gorou, lyney, XIAO

the (soft) supporter

when the child shyly approaches you, clutching a flower with trembling hands and nervously stammering out a confession, his reaction is immediate but far from possessive. instead of jealousy or annoyance, he watches with a warm smile, his eyes softening as he takes in the innocence of the moment.

his first thought isn’t to interrupt or overshadow but to appreciate the sincerity of the child’s feelings and your gentle response to it.

he watches the scene unfold with quiet amusement, his heart swelling as he takes in the sweetness of the moment. he doesn’t see the child as a rival or a nuisance—far from it. instead, he’s struck by how earnest and brave the little boy is for approaching you with such sincerity.

he knows how kind and patient you are, and seeing you respond with such gentle affection only reminds him of why he adores you.

as you crouch down to accept the flower, thanking the child with a kind smile, he can’t help but admire you even more. there’s a tenderness in the way you interact with the child that makes his heart ache in the best way possible.

he doesn’t feel threatened by the situation—in fact, he finds it endearing. if anything, it reminds him of how natural it is for people to be drawn to you, no matter their age.

standing just a step behind you, he chuckles softly to himself, murmuring under his breath, “well, that’s brave of him.” his voice carries a note of amused admiration, but he doesn’t feel the need to insert himself into the moment.

instead, he stands by as a quiet presence, ready to step in if the child needs a little encouragement but content to let you handle it.

if the child looks nervous or unsure, he might step closer and kneel down to meet the boy’s eye level, his tone kind and reassuring. “that’s a beautiful flower you’ve got there,” he’d say with a small smile. “you chose well.” he has no intention of stealing the spotlight or intimidating the child; he just wants to make the situation feel a little easier for everyone.

his gentle demeanor leaves no room for misunderstanding—he’s here to support you, not compete for attention.

after the child scampers off, cheeks flushed with pride and excitement, he turns to you with a soft laugh. “you’ve got quite the admirer,” he says, his tone light and teasing but laced with genuine affection. there’s no jealousy in his voice, just quiet amusement and warmth.

he even suggests preserving the flower as a keepsake, offering to press it in a book or find a small vase for it later. to him, it’s a sweet moment worth cherishing.

you thank him for being so calm about the situation, he simply shrugs, his smile soft and unassuming. “he’s just a kid,” he says, his voice full of understanding. “and honestly, it’s sweet. how could anyone not fall for you?” the sincerity in his words is undeniable, and the way his gaze lingers on you for just a second too long tells you everything you need to know about how he feels.

later, he might bring it up again in passing, unable to resist a little playful teasing. “so, should i be worried?” he asks with a grin, the corners of his eyes crinkling with amusement. “seems like you’ve got admirers lining up these days.”

despite the joke, his actions remain steady and reassuring—he never leaves your side for long and finds subtle ways to remind you of how much you mean to him. whether it’s brushing his hand against yours, standing a little closer than usual, or simply looking at you with that soft, adoring expression, his quiet support is unwavering.

for him, the moment wasn’t about competition or insecurity. it was just another reminder of how incredible you are, and how lucky he feels to be the one by your side.

— KAZUHA, ZHONGLI, WELT, GEPARD, ARGENTI, LUKA, SUNDAY, LUOCHA, JING YUAN, tighnari, THOMA, DILUC, BAIZHU

the dramatic ones

when the child approaches you, holding out a flower with all the sincerity in the world, the dramatic one immediately acts as if the universe itself has betrayed him. his eyes widen in exaggerated shock, a hand flying to his chest as if struck by an invisible arrow.

“oh, you’ve got to be kidding me!” he exclaims, his voice dripping with mock offense. he takes a step back, looking between you and the child with theatrical disbelief, as though he’s stumbled into the climax of some tragic love story.

as the child nervously stammers out his confession, the dramatic one groans, running a hand through his hair as if trying to collect himself. “really? really? even kids now?” he mutters under his breath, though loud enough for you to hear. his tone is less genuine frustration and more exaggerated exasperation, the kind that begs for your attention.

when you smile at the child and crouch down to accept the flower, his reaction shifts into full-blown melodrama. “a flower? oh no, not a flower!” he gasps, pretending to stagger backward as if this tiny gesture has dealt him a mortal wound.

“this is how it starts! next thing i know, he’ll be writing you love letters and stealing your heart!” he places a hand on his forehead, tilting his head back with a long-suffering sigh, as though the betrayal is simply too much to bear.

if the child dares to glance his way, he leans in slightly, crossing his arms with a mock-serious expression. “you’re bold, kid. i’ll give you that,” he says, narrowing his eyes playfully. “but do you have what it takes to keep them happy? hmm? flowers are just the beginning, you know.” despite his words, there’s no real malice—he’s just playing up the moment, reveling in the absurdity of the situation.

when the child finally scampers off, proud of his bravery, the dramatic one steps closer to you, shaking his head with a heavy sigh. “unbelievable. i leave you alone for one second, and this is what happens?” he grumbles, though the grin tugging at his lips betrays his amusement. “what’s next? a line of admirers waiting around the corner?”

if you laugh at his antics, it only fuels his performance. “don’t laugh! this is serious!” he says, though his voice is far from convincing. he leans in closer, his tone dropping to a mock whisper. “tell me the truth—did he win you over? do i have competition now? should i be worried?” his eyes glimmer with playful mischief, his entire demeanor practically begging you to reassure him.

later, he won’t let you forget it. “do you remember earlier? that kid? yeah, i’m still recovering,” he teases, his voice full of faux indignation. “i mean, who does that? confessing right in front of me? bold move, i’ll give him that.” he’ll recount the story to anyone willing to listen, embellishing every detail to make it sound even more dramatic.

“i had to stand there and watch my partner get swept off their feet by a four-foot-tall rival. you have no idea the pain i endured.”

despite all the dramatics, his actions make it clear that it’s all in good fun. he doesn’t actually feel threatened—in fact, he enjoys watching you smile and laugh at his antics. the entire situation only gives him another excuse to shower you with playful affection and remind you in his own ridiculous way just how much you mean to him.

— KAVEH, SAMPO, venti, luka, BOOTHILL, JING YUAN, ITTO, CYNO, kaeya, lyney, BAIZHU, MR. RECA, wriothesley

the quiet ones

when the child approaches you, holding out a flower with trembling hands and a nervous confession, he is instantly at a loss. his breath catches, and he freezes in place, wide-eyed as he tries to process what’s happening. for a moment, he just stands there, completely still, as though moving might draw attention to himself. his hands awkwardly hover near his sides, unsure whether to intervene or stay back.

his gaze darts between you and the child, his face rapidly turning pink as he realizes how sweetly you’re smiling at the little boy. the warmth and gentleness in your voice as you thank the child make his heart ache in the best way possible. he swallows hard, suddenly hyperaware of how soft and kind you are, and it only makes his cheeks burn hotter.

as you crouch down to accept the flower, he glances away, his fingers fidgeting with the hem of his sleeve or brushing through his hair in a nervous attempt to compose himself. it’s not that he’s jealous—no, he wouldn’t even know how to be jealous in this situation—it’s just that seeing someone else, even a child, shower you with admiration leaves him tongue-tied and painfully aware of his own feelings.

he mumbles something under his breath, barely audible, like, “that’s… bold of him.” but the moment the words leave his mouth, he cringes internally, wondering why he couldn’t come up with something better. instead of saying more, he stays rooted in place, trying to appear calm even as the tips of his ears betray him with their deep blush.

when the child looks at him, perhaps seeking approval, he manages a small, awkward smile and a quiet, “good choice.” his voice is soft, almost shy, and there’s a hesitant nod to go along with it. he wants to be encouraging after all, this is a child.

still, he’s not upset—he’s impressed by the child’s courage and, more than anything, endeared by how naturally you handle the situation.

after the child runs off, proud of his brave confession, the flustered quiet one exhales a shaky breath, his shoulders sagging slightly as he finally allows himself to relax. he hesitates before speaking, his voice low and slightly uneven. “that was… something,” he murmurs, a faint smile tugging at his lips as he dares to meet your eyes.

if you tease him, his blush deepens, and he looks away, rubbing the back of his neck. “i’m not flustered,” he insists, though his tone is far from convincing. he might even add, “it’s just… surprising, that’s all.” his attempt to downplay his reaction only makes him seem more endearing, his bashful demeanor a clear giveaway of how much the moment affected him.

for the rest of the day, he’s quieter than usual, replaying the scene in his mind and feeling his heart skip all over again. when he finally gathers the courage to bring it up, it’s in the form of a shy, almost hesitant comment.

“he was pretty brave, you know,” he says softly, his gaze flickering to you before quickly looking away. “but, uh… i hope you know that… well, i admire you too. a lot.”

his words are sincere, even if his voice is barely above a whisper. while he may not be as bold as the child who approached you, his quiet admiration and the way he lingers close to you for the rest of the day speak volumes.

— CAELUS, IMBIBITOR LUNAE/DAN HENG, gallagher, GEPARD, XIAO, DILUC, DAINSLEIF, ALBEDO, ALHAITHAM, NEUVILLETTE

note: got hit w baby fever sadly

taglist: @tomansimp @one-offmind @miitchiji @dainsleif-when-playable @momoewn @stygianoir @irethepotato @v4an @imetsk @fiannee @sunnyf4lls if im missing anyone please tell me because i have an inkling feeling i missed a few..

liking + following + reblogs are very much appreciated!!!

another note: not proof read so if you found any spelling/grammar mistakes PLEASE tell me

[yoyomomiko]

Hi Miko, I've been reading your one piece posts and absolutely love how you write the characters! I loved your oblivious reader headcanons, but I wanted to request kind of the opposite - how would Luffy, Sanji and Zoro react to a reader that makes the first move and kisses them first? Thank you 🥰💕

pairings: monster trio x female reader

cw: not proofread, probably contains grammar mistakes, english isn't my first language!!

— (a/n): hiiii!! i'm very sorry for not posting, I've got a lot of requests and i hope I'll get to write them all ^⁠_⁠^ also, I SWEAR I don't have a favourite (⁠≧⁠▽⁠≦⁠) -> m.list

— LUFFY

Luffy is so straight forward that a lot of flirting just goes right over his head. You could be batting your eyelashes, throwing hints, or playfully touching his arm, and he'd just grin at you, not having a second thought.

He's naturally touchy with his crew, so when you start getting more physically affectionate, he just kinda rolls with it. Leaning on him? He'll lean right back. Holding his hand? He'll swing it playfully.

The realization hits... Late. You make a habit of teasing him, leaning in close when you talk, poking his face when he pouts, and even calling him cute. After a lot of punches from Nami and disappointed sighs from Usopp, he tilts his head and just goes "Are you flirting with me?"

Luffy starts leaning in close, just to see if you'll back away, and he literally COPIES your every move.

"Does this make your heart race too?" In the most innocent way possible.

You think he's immune to embarrassment, until you pull a bold move and trace his jaw with your fingers. "I bet you'd taste sweet." He actually pauses, eyes wide, and a faint pink tint covering the tip of his ears.

When you finally go in for the kiss, you catch him mid laugh. His eyes widen, and probably for the first time ever, he's speechless. Luffy, the king of energy, is frozen like a statue.

His hand almost instinctively catches your waist, holding you close. You pull back, watching his expression shift from shock, to realization, to a big, goofy grin.

"Do it again!" He doesn't even hesitate before grabbing your face and closing the distance again, kissing you back. Zero hesitation.

After this, he just kisses you whenever he feels like it. Mid conversation? Smooch. Stealing food? Smooch. Looking at him funny? Smooch.

He literally tells the whole crew. No warning, no build up. Just a proud declaration while you stand there, face buried in your hands.

You belong to his crew, but now you're his in a way that makes him extra protective. He wraps his arms around you randomly, pulling you close, his stupid, big grin plastered on his face.

He starts challenging you to kiss attacks. If you surprise him, you win. If he catches you trying, he flips it on you.

Luffy doesn't get embarrassed easily, but he does get attached. Expect him to be glued to your side, smiling like you're the best treasure in the world.

There's no overthinking with Luffy, he just likes being with you, loves that your bold, and will 100% support more surprise kisses in the future.

———☆

You're sitting on the deck with Luffy, sharing a plate of snacks, when you decide you've had enough of his cluelessness. He's laughing about something, something dumb, something that shouldn't make your heart race.

So, without a second thought you lean in and close the distance, pressing a firm kiss to his lips. It's quick, but it's just enough to make Luffy's breath hitch and heartbeat increase.

Luffy blinks at you, his usual bright eyes wide in surprise. He's touching his lips like he's processing the sensation for the first time. Then, slowly, a huge grin spreads across his face.

"Whoa!" He lets out a shaky exhale, and then he grabs your hands, bouncing excitedly. "Do it again!"

"Maybe later." You laugh, shaking your head. He was getting so excited over a simple kiss, and you couldn't help but feel your heart skip a beat at the way his touch felt on your skin.

"Later?! But I wanna do it now!" He doesn't wait, just leans in and captures your lips in another quick, excited kiss. Now, you're the one blushing.

— ZORO

Flirting with Zoro is like flirting with a wall, at least at first. He doesn't react to subtle touches, teasing smirks or even playful winks. He just raises an eyebrow like, What are you doing?

"You're acting weird." You lean in, fingers trailing over his wrist as he tenses, although not pulling away. "I'm just being friendly." "That doesn't feel friendly..."

The moment he does realize you're flirting with him, he goes completely still. His grip on his swords tighten. He legit looks like he just got challenged to a duel.

"Tch, like I care." But then he starts noticing everything. The way you look at him, the way your hand when you pass him something, the way you bite your lip when you tease him.

Zoro acts all cool, but inside? His heart is beating faster, and he doesn't know why. Literally internal panic.

One day, you brush your fingers along his jaw. "I bet you'd look good, all flustered and blushing." He visibly stiffens, eyes darting away. "Shut up." Oh, so he can get flustered.

You finally go for it, grabbing his collar and closing the gap, pulling him in for a kiss. He doesn't react at first, he's too shocked to move a muscle. Then, his hands grip your waist, pulling you just a little closer.

He's not as unaffected as he pretends to be. He exhales slowly, his breathing controlled. But you can feel the slight shake in it, the way his hands tremble slightly and the way his muscles tense.

Zoro pretends it's no big deal, but later, he tilts your chin up and kisses you again. Slower, deeper, like he's trying to memorize the feeling of your lips on his.

He's not big on PDA, but his protective streak triples. Arm around your waist? Always. Pulling you close when someone stares too long? Every time.

He doesn't say sweet things, but his actions scream it.

He still gets caught off guard when you tease him. A kiss on the cheek, and his ears turn red. Whispering something flirty, and his jaw tightens.

Zoro likes a challenge, and now that he's aware of you, he starts fighting back. He corners you and smirks if you get flustered.

He will DIE before admitting how much he likes it.

———☆

Zoro is training, sweat glistening on his skin, swords balanced in a way that makes him look damn near untouchable. You've been teasing him all day, dropping little hints, getting close... But he's been brushing you off, pretending it has no effect on him. Until now.

You walk up to him casually, hiding your smug smirk, standing just close enough for him to feel your presence. "Bet I could throw you off balance."

"Tch, you wish." He fights the urge to roll his eyes, the way his words came out was almost as if he was daring you to try.

Your smirk widens as you step closer to him. Before he could react, you grip his collar, tug him down, lips colliding into each other as you press a confident kiss on his lips.

He freezes. His whole body tenses like he's been struck by lightning. When you pull away, his breath is heavier, and there's a slight pink tint decorating his cheeks.

He glares at you, the grip on his swords tightening. "That was dirty..." He mutters, still trying to calm himself down.

You tilt your head to the side, still smirking. "Did it work?" You taunt him, trying to hold back your laugh, watching his flustered expression carefully.

Zoro exhales slowly, before grabbing your wrist, yanking you back in for another kiss. His lips crashed against yours, and you could feel his smirk pressing against your mouth. This one's deeper, hungrier. When he finally pulls back, a smirk forms on his lips.

"Yeah. It worked."

— SANJI

Sanji flirts with everyone, but when you do it back? He's done for. He's absolutely weak from the start. He nearly drops his cigarette every time you touch him.

"What's wrong, sweetheart? Cat got your tongue?" And he instantly covers his mouth, trying to hide his nosebleed and the way his face turns 50 different shades of red. He short circuits instantly.

He flirts dramatically, and you flirt right back, leaning in close, tracing his jaw, calling him pet names. His whole face BURNS.

You catch him off guard with a soft touch to his cheek, and his whole face erupts in pink. "M-Mademoiselle!"

When you finally kiss him first, his soul leaves his body. His cigarette falls, his legs turn weak, and he grips onto you for dear life.

The moment your lips touch his, Sanji's entire body locks up. His heart is hammering, and his mind is screaming in ten different languages. His brain kinda goes offline for a few seconds, but he'll snap out of it eventually!!

He covers his face with both hands, trying to suppress the absolutely ridiculous grin forming. "Mon Dieu! You're too much for me..." And his legs wobble like he might pass out.

His hands remain on your waist, but he doesn't pull you in, not yet. He wants to play it cool, but his flushed face and trembling hands give it away.

For the next hour, he is completely useless in the kitchen. He keeps chopping ingredients wrong, spacing out and giggling like an absolute fool. When someone asks what's wrong, his only reply is "I've been blessed by an angel today."

After the kiss, he becomes extra aware of your presence. A simple brush of your fingers sends a shiver down his spine. If you just lean against him, he has to take deep breaths.

The next time you tease him, he gets his revenge, tilting your chin up with his fingers and giving you the slowest, most knee weakening kiss of your life. "Two can play this game, mon amour."

Before, he was a hopeless romantic. Now? He's a hopelessly attached romantic. "Oh, you like me?" You tease, and you see the way his lips curl into a smirk. "Like? Darling, I adore you."

He was already treating you like royalty, but now it's way worse. Pulling out your chair, offering you the best cuts off food, whispering sweet nothings into your ear 24/7. It's endless.

You kiss him unexpectedly? He still gets heart eyes, but now he pulls you right back for another. "Don't start something you're not ready to finish, darling."

Completely, utterly, shamelessly yours. Sanji doesn't even try to hide it, he's absolutely whipped. He lets everyone know, the whole crew has to deal with it.

———☆

Sanji is flirting with you as usual, leaning close and murmuring sweet things. "Ah, ma chérie, if you keep looking at me like that, I might fall apart."

You rolled your eyes, a mischievous smirk forming on your lips. You grabbed his tie, fingers twisting in the fabric, yanking him down with a sudden tug. He stumbled slightly, cut off guard, but there was no time to react. Your lips crashed against his, the space between you vanishing as you pressed your body flush against his, tilting your head and deepening the kiss. His breath hitched as his hands instinctively found your waist, pulling you even closer.

Your lips parted just enough to tease, to taste. Your fingers slid up from his tie to tangle in his hair, nails grazing his scalp as you pulled him in, not letting go.

You finally parted from him, just barely, lips still hovering close and over each other. He's completely frozen. Mouth slightly open, cigarette hanging dangerously close to falling, his eyes wide in surprise, face completely red.

His whole body shakes, and he nearly collapses on the floor. "I can die happy!" He shouts out dramatically, both hands pressed firmly on his chest as he struggles to breathe.

Later, when he finally recovers, he pulls you aside, trapping you against the wall, kissing you so deep it leaves you breathless.

"Not so easy when I'm the one taking control, hm, mon amour?"

★yoyomiko ★miko

[syrecjh]

──★✈️ ̟!! Swipe Error: He��s Right Behind Me

⋆. 𐙚 ˚ || katsuki bakugo x reader, pure fluff

Airports have a strange kind of gravity. Not the kind that keeps planes grounded, but the kind that tugs at your nerves — stretches time thin, stretches patience thinner. You’ve been sitting for over an hour at Gate 34, legs crossed on the uncomfortable vinyl bench—the kind that were designed by someone who clearly hated comfort , headphones dying and patience already declared missing in action. The boarding gate screen glows blue with your flight to New York: delayed by thirty minutes. You nearly throw your iced coffee across the terminal in protest.

You weren’t built for waiting. You were built for movement, for noise, for anything other than scrolling endlessly on your phone under cold fluorescent lighting. You’re traveling solo for the first time — a summer break declaration of independence from university and all its soul-crushing midterms. And as poetic as that sounds, the reality looks more like leg cramps, stale croissants, and a dying battery. Not to mention, you are surrounded by families bickering, kids screaming, and couples who apparently think PDA belongs in an airport.

Out of sheer boredom — or possibly desperation — you open Tinder.

A mistake. You know it’s a mistake. But you tell yourself it’s just to pass time, and maybe to flirt. Definitely not to find love. Just swiping. Just harmless, mindless swiping. You start swiping through profiles with the detached precision of someone sorting socks — right, left, maybe, definitely left. It’s not that you’re picky, it’s just… well, okay, maybe you are. Half the guys look like they’d ghost you after borrowing your charger. A left here, a right there, a brief pause for someone with a decent dog in their profile. Another left.

And then he shows up.

Blond. Fierce-eyed. Hero suit in one of the pictures. Dynamight. You squint. What is he doing on tinder? I mean you don't judge anyone with one but you can't help it. It's him after all. You’ve seen him on news clips before — the explosive pro hero with a temper and a fanbase that probably writes fanfiction about his jawline. His bio is short and alarming: Don’t be annoying. I cook better than your mom.

You raise an eyebrow. Bold. Definitely not your type.

Blond guys never were.

Swipe left.

“Damn,” a gravelly voice says just behind you. “Hard pass for that one?”

Your soul leaves your body.

You whip around like a gust of embarrassment made flesh, and there he is. Sitting directly behind you. Arms crossed, thighs spread, hair as unmistakable as his voice, red eyes glittering with something dark and amused. Katsuki freaking Bakugo. The literal walking embodiment of the profile you just rejected.

You feel your face catch fire.

“Oh my god—” you blurt, mortified beyond repair, trying to stuff your phone in your hoodie pocket like that’ll undo your crimes. “I didn’t mean—I didn’t know—”

“You didn’t know it was me?” he says, feigning offense, leaning forward just slightly. “What gave it away, the hero name or the picture of my actual face?”

“I—I don’t even like blonde guys!” you blurt like that somehow helps.

“Oh, that makes it better,” he snorts, and there’s a devilish glint in his eye that says he’s going to be thinking about this for a long time. “So I’m not your type. Got it.”

“I mean—you’re handsome, obviously—” you sputter, digging a deeper grave with every word. “It was just… the vibe. You looked like you’d roast me alive for using the wrong fork.”

He leans back, arms stretching over the seat beside him like a throne. “Not wrong.”

You groan and bury your face in your hands. “Kill me. This is why I don’t go outside.”

But Bakugo just chuckles — an actual chuckle — and something soft and dangerous unfurls in your chest. You glance up, blinking, just in time to catch the corners of his mouth still curved, his head tilted slightly.

“You’re funny when you panic.”

“And you’re mean when you’re smug.”

“So always?”

You glare at him, cheeks hot, but he just shrugs and props his boots up on his carry-on like he’s settling in for a show. You’re about to fire back when the gate agent’s voice cuts through the overhead speakers, finally announcing boarding for your flight.

You shuffle into line, praying to every deity that fate won’t take this joke any further. But of course, fate is petty.

You're seatmates.

23A and 23B.

You drop into the window seat like a woman being buried alive, and moments later, Bakugo slides in beside you with the lazy ease of someone who’s enjoying this.

“I swear I’m not a bad person,” you mutter as you adjust your tray table.

He shrugs. “Didn’t say you were. Just got a thing for brutal honesty, I guess.”

You blink at him, surprised.

And then he smirks.

“You’re really funny when you panic.”

“Don’t flatter me.”

“I’m not. I just like watching people suffer.”

“Wow. Romantic.”

You both glance at each other — and the tension hangs there, electric and strange, somewhere between playful and unreal. You don’t know what’s happening, not really.

You scoff softly. “I’ve just humiliated myself in front of a national hero and then get stuck next to him for twelve hours.”

“Could be worse.”

“How?”

“You could’ve swiped right.”

You snort, unable to help it — and from the corner of your eye, you see him smirk again.

You spend the flight talking, somehow. About trivial things at first — dumb airport food, weird quirks, how babies crying on planes should be banned. Then deeper things — pressure, expectations, what it's like to be known for something before you even figure out who you are.

You talk like people who have nothing to prove. You listen like people who might want to see each other again.

He tells you he plays music while cooking. You tell him you once cried because you dropped a slice of pizza face-down on your only pair of jeans. You exchange Instagram handles. He follows you before you even land.

Somewhere in the middle of the flight, you accidentally doze against his shoulder, he doesn’t shove you off. He just sighs — loud and dramatic — and lets you stay

And when the plane finally touches down in New York, taxiing slow across the runway, you turn to him, smiling despite yourself.

“So,” you say. “Still mad I swiped left?”

He stretches, cracking his knuckles with a lazy shrug. “Not really.”

Why not?”

He leans closer, voice warm like the sun creeping through the airplane window. “Because I’ve got twelve hours of proof you were wrong.”

You laugh, and he actually grins this time. Fully. Briefly. Like the sun rising and setting in one heartbeat.

As you walk off the plane side by side, you don’t feel like two strangers anymore. You feel like a story halfway told — and suddenly, you’re not so mad about the delay.

After all, some accidents are meant to happen.

────୨ৎ────

I actually got this idea weeks ago while scrolling through IG reels. It completely hooked me—I couldn’t stop thinking about it. Like it really happened to someone! Imagine swiping left on Tinder… only to realize the person you swiped left on is standing right behind you. I don’t know the name of the girl in the video, but yeah—thank youuu!

[ariestrxsh]

sub!bsf!matt x bsf!reader

𖦹 content warning: smut, mutual masturbation, voyeurism/exhibitionism, edging, squirting, getting caught

𖦹 summary: matt makes a bold claim that squirting is a myth, and you prove to him that he's wrong

dividers by the one and only @vxnitra 𖦹

TUNNEL VISION

"I don't believe for a second that it's real. It's just something they show in porn to make it more exciting," Matt's voice broke the silence of the room as he came walking through the front door with his two brothers after filming their car video.

"That's a bold claim," Nick smugly responded, rolling his eyes. "Just say you're a virgin, Matt. It's less syllables." Nick started up the staircase, leaving behind the conversation that didn't really concern him at all.

"Squirting is totally a real thing, Matt. You're just dumb," Chris blankly stated. "How would you know, Chris? You ever seen a girl squirt?" Matt shot back, raising his eyebrows and shrugging his shoulders. "No, I haven't seen it, but you'd have to be an idiot to think it's a myth," Chris huffed, heading off towards his room. "Whatever," Matt mumbled under his breath.

"Hey, thanks for letting us use your car for the video. Sometimes I worry that mine is too recognizable when we take it out around here," Matt turned his attention towards you, tossing you your keys. "Yeah, don't mention it," you reached out with both hands, and they landed in your palms with a loud jingling sound.

Matt ran his fingers through his hair and plopped down on the couch beside you with a sigh. You let out a chuckle as you shook your head at his naivety. "What? What's so funny?" Matt wondered, furrowing his brow and narrowing his perfect blue eyes at you.

"Did you say that squirting isn't real?" You inquired, trying to stifle your laughter. "Yeah, why?" Matt innocently asked. "I have to show you something," you declared, standing up and grabbing him by the hand. "What?" Matt skeptically questioned you, completely caught off guard by you pulling him to his feet. "What are you going to show me?"

"Shhh," you hushed him, turning around and holding a finger to your lips. "You can't tell anyone. Just follow me." You led him out the front door and into the warm, summer night to your car that was parked in the driveway.

You demanded that he get in without any further explanation, and he climbed into your passenger seat with a perplexed look plastered to his face. You moved your chair back and lifted your hips, tugging down your pajama bottoms.

"What are you doing!?" Matt exclaimed, staring wide-eyed at you. He couldn't help but let his gaze wander over your exposed legs, awaiting your response as you discarded your clothing onto the floor of your car. "Squirting is real, and I can prove it," you answered him, looking around to make sure there were no witnesses.

"Y-you're gonna sh-show me?" Matt asked, blinking rapidly to make sure his eyes weren't deceiving him. "Why not? I love any chance I can get to prove you wrong," you arrogantly responded, a sly smirk forming in the corner of your lips.

You clicked on the overhead light, and you turned your body to face him to give him a better view of the show you were about to put on. Finally, you reached for your vibrator that was stowed away in your center console, making Matt's jaw drop.

"You just keep that in there?" Matt wondered, imagining how differently the car video would have gone if any of the three of them had stumbled upon it. "Yeah, I never know when I'm gonna need it. It's come in handy quite a few times," you admitted, winking at him and slowly parting your thighs.

His curious blue eyes immediately dropped to your bare cunt that was already slick with arousal. It immediately became his object of focus, holding him in a trance. "Wow," he whispered, admiring the way it glistened in the dim lighting.

He instinctively reached out to touch it, but you playfully smacked his wrist. "I said I can make myself squirt, not you can," you teased him. "This is purely for educational purposes." He just sat there silently with his jaw hanging open and his eyes wide as he nodded and pulled back his hand.

"You know what would really help me, though?" You asked, switching on your vibrator. "W-what would that be?" Matt wondered, his gaze still locked on what you had between your legs. "You should do it, too," you suggested, trapping your bottom lip between your teeth and glancing down at the tent that was taking form in his sweats.

You shuddered, and your leg twitched as you rested the buzzing toy against your clit. "You want me to..?" Matt asked, his voice trailing off as he reached for his bulge. You bit down on your lip a bit harder and nodded as you gazed into his blue eyes. "Please, Matt. It'll make me squirt so hard if you do it with me," you cooed in a soft voice that Matt couldn't say no to.

"O-okay," he stammered, reaching into his waistband and pulling out his half-hard dick. You eyed his swollen, mushroom-shaped head as he wrapped his fingers around his shaft. His mouth fell open and a strangled moan left the boy as he started to massage his cock for you. It immediately grew in size, blood rushing to it. A bit of clear fluid pooled at his slit as his hand moved up and down over his length.

"It's so pretty, Matt," you told him, gawking at the way his precum started to drool down the side of his tip. He blushed at your compliment. He'd never touched himself in front of a woman before, never mind a woman who was also touching herself, but in this intimate moment the two of you shared, he was beginning to learn new things about himself. He loved watching and being watched.

The whole time, his gaze flickered between your weeping hole and the way your face was contorted in a look of sheer pleasure. The vision that played out before him was completely hypnotizing.

He wet his lips and let out another pretty sound as he watched you take your free hand and start lining your fingers up with your entrance. He gasped and started to stroke his cock faster as he watched them disappear inside of you. He couldn't look away even if he wanted to.

You turned your toy up to the next setting, causing you to shiver again. A needy whimper unfurled from your pouty lips as you started swiveling your hips for a deeper sensation while your rode your fingers.

Matt started paying close attention to his tip, gently making circles on his most sensitive spot with his thumb and using his precum as lube. His eyebrows knitted together as he indulged in the lovely sensation. "Oh, fuck," he groaned as his cock twitched beneath his touch.

You couldn't get enough of the sight before you - his pink-tinted cheeks, his parted lips, and the look of bliss inscribed on his face as he started to stroke his length again. His blue eyes were glossy with lust, and they didn't stray from your bare pussy that was on display just for him.

The two of you watched each other intently, getting off on the other's pleasure while you each sped up your movements, both of your delighted sounds filling the car. "You're doing such a good job, Matt. You're making me so close," you whined in-between your satisfied moans. He squeezed his fingers around his shaft as he moved his hand up and down, feeling the pressure begin to build in his lower stomach.

Suddenly, you shut off your toy and removed your fingers. Despite pausing your movements, you continued to clench around nothing. Matt slowed his strokes and swallowed hard. "W-why'd you stop?" He stammered his way through his sentence, worried he'd done something to kill the mood.

"Don't worry, baby. I'm just getting started," you responded in a seductive voice, your eyes flickering up at his. You turned your vibrator back on, sinking into the wonderful sensation of being watched while you played with yourself again. You took your two fingers and inserted them once more, slowly picking up speed.

"D-does that make you squirt harder? When y-you edge yourself?" Matt nervously asked, lazily massaging his cock as he admired your delicate folds. "Mhmm," you purred. Matt had secretly always wanted to see you like this, and the reality of it exceeded his expectations.

He brushed his thumb over his sensitive tip again, sending goosebumps across his skin as a breathy groan fell from his lips. "You're so.. responsive," you told him, watching the way his cock throbbed against his palm.

"Does it feel good?" You wondered, knowing it must have but still dying to hear him say it. He bit down on his lip as his bedroom eyes raised to meet yours. "So good," he softly replied before his gaze dropped down to the way you methodically fucked yourself.

"I can't wait to cum all over my fingers for you," you whimpered, turning your vibrator up to the highest setting. Matt lifted his hips up off of the seat and started thrusting his cock into his tightly closed fist, pretending it was you. The sounds he made became more urgent, and his eyelids grew heavy as he watched you.

All of a sudden, you withdrew all stimulation again, and Matt watched as your pelvic muscles rhythmically contracted around the emptiness. "Oh, fuck. You're so wet," Matt commented as he watched your pussy drool onto the leather seat beneath you. You managed to chuckle through your panting. "I know, and it's all your fault, baby," you purred, turning your toy back on.

You took a few deep breaths, trying to slow your heart rate and maintain control as you were teetering on the brink of orgasm. Your fingers found their way to your entrance again, and Matt watched as you stretched around them.

"O-oh, fuck. I don't think I can t-take much m-more," Matt whined as he fisted his cock as fast as he could, rutting his tip into his palm as he drove his hips upward. The way Matt was tripping over his words and falling apart in front of you made it nearly impossible for you to hold off much longer.

The moisture of your combined breathing started to lightly fog the windows. You watched Matt's cock twitched before white ropes of cum squirted out of the tip, painting his hand, his clothing, and the leather interior of your car.

A string of moaning and incoherent babbling streamed from his lips as he finished in front of you. The way his face looked as he reached his climax coupled with the pretty sounds he emitted were enough to send you over the edge. Your head fell back against the driver's side window, and you slammed your eyes shut as you came unraveled.

The low hum of your vibrator reverberated throughout your whole being, leaving you at the mercy of your climax. You felt a familiar sensation, the knot in your stomach getting ready to snap. You voluntarily tensed your abdominal muscles, squirting as you finished, and Matt watched in awe as you sprayed the window behind him.

"Oh!" You exclaimed, trembling as the milky substance gushed from you again, making the most beautiful mess Matt had ever seen. "Holy fuck," Matt whispered in shock of what he'd just witnessed. You removed your fingers and shut off your toy, slowing your breathing as you recovered from the intensity of your orgasm.

"I stand corrected. That was impressive," Matt admitted, nodding in approval. At the same time, you both glanced up over his shoulder to see your arousal scattered across the glass of the passenger side door.

That's when you both noticed him. On the other side of that glass was a shocked-looking Chris, his mouth agape and his eyes bigger than you'd ever seen them before. Matt grabbed his cock again to hide it in his hand, and you slammed your legs shut, reaching to turn off the overhead light as Matt started to slowly roll down the window.

Despite the moisture that had started to steam up the car, Chris had seen everything and was just as mesmerized by your hypnotic movements as Matt was. Chris' wide stare flickered between the two of you. "I was, um, showing Matt that squirting is a real thing," you murmured under your breath.

"Yeah, I got that. Um, I just came back to check to see if I left my phone in here when we did the car video," Chris nervously replied, still looking like a deer in the headlights. You bit back an embarrassed smile as you reached for your bottoms that were on the floor.

"Uh, here," Matt said in a shaky voice as he reached for Chris' cell that was stashed in the cupholder that neither of you had noticed until this very moment. He handed it to his brother through the partially open window with a trembling hand, and Chris quickly grabbed it from him.

"Uh, thanks," Chris responded, blushing hard and glancing at the both of you one more time before he headed back inside. Each of your hearts were pounding in your chests as you made eye contact one last time before the two of you erupted in a fit of laughter at the absurdity of the situation.

"Well, now Chris can say he's seen a girl squirt, too," you chuckled.

[amourane]

hate the way you smile

pairing: theodore nott x fem!reader

genre: fluff, angst, comedy, e2l + childhood enemies??

w/c: 4.7k

summary: from the second you met theodore nott you knew that your life would be torturous and that the boy would never leave you alone but maybe forever isn't so bad with theodore nott.

warnings: none just a lot of bickering

a/n: omg this one is a bit long but i finished it!

From the moment that you met Theodore Nott at the bright age of five you knew you would hate him forever. Maybe it was the way he would sneer at you with distaste or the way he would mock you for being a big crybaby whenever he took your toys. All you knew was that you simply loathed his presence.

Your families had been friends and they had initially thought that you and Theo would get along since you were both the same age. What they didn’t expect was the young boy to rip the heads of your dolls and proceed to mock you for crying your heart out. Yet even with all of your constant bickering your families still met up every holiday, bringing the demon child with them to torment your life.

Since that day your childhood was filled with cruel laughter and the mischievous eyes that would watch wherever you went.  At age seven, Theodore Nott found it appropriate to fill your bathtub with toads causing you to shriek out in terror when you opened the bathroom door, and him, to run away with glee at your horrified face. At age nine, he thought it would’ve been funny to surprise you by dumping a bucket load of pumpkin juice all over you and he cackled at your expected screams of anger. What he didn’t expect was for you to retaliate by smashing a tray of cauldron cakes into his face. 

Needless to say the war between you two started way back then and it had continued, the only difference being that now you both were more mature and civilised and there was no room for childish pranks.

“Suck my cock you mangled prat, I hope you trip and fall to your death you insignificant shit goblin!” 

At least so you thought.

You made a move and lunged for Theodore Nott’s throat as anger flared in your eyes. No one paid mind to the scene that was unfolding before them afterall it was a common occurrence for the last six years. 

“You enchanted my hair green!” You shrieked as you shook the brunette violently. “Are you out of your mind Nott? I thought we agreed we wouldn’t mess with each other’s appearances, what happened to that?” 

Theodore simply smirked and you felt your fury bubble inside you. He tilted his head to the right and acted as if he was actually pondering your question. If you could you would have been breathing flames as you felt yourself grow more livid as every second went by. 

“Hmm…I like your hair L/n, really suits the whole vibe you’re going for, don't you think bella?” Theo flashed you a wicked grin as he reached out to twirl a lock of your hair between his fingers. You slapped his hand away.

“And what vibe am I going for Nott? Please enlighten me since you apparently are the one making decisions for me.”

You should’ve just walked away. You really should’ve just cursed him out and gone to Madam Pomfrey for some sort of remedy instead of staying and entertaining whatever shit-faced idea he had come up with. The moment you saw the smug smirk that spread across his face and the dangerous twinkle in his eyes you knew he was going to spew some absolute bullshit. And you were right.

“Well obviously it’s a statement declaring that you’re mine, why else would you dye your hair to match my house?” The Slythering feigned disbelief, clutching his hands to his chest innocently. “But Salazar, I didn’t know you would be so bold about your feelings towards me bella.”

You felt heat rise and settle on your cheeks as you tried to come up with a colourful comeback to wipe the stupid smirk off his face but the words die in your throat. It was against your will but you could feel your face growing hotter as he continued to stare at you with that flirty glint in his eyes. Your brain spluttered to a stop and you scrambled desperately for something to say.

“Fuck you Nott.” You seethed before storming away with your hands balled into fists. You could hear the whispers of students and you could feel their stares as you stomped to the infirmary, determined to find some way to get your hair back to normal. 

Theodore Nott was the biggest pain in the arse you knew and he had never stopped being one. You still remembered when you had received your letter to Hogwarts and he had scoffed at the sight asking why Hogwarts would want a half-wit like you. Needless to say your parents weren’t surprised at the cries that erupted a second later from both you and him.

Throughout your years the two of you had become known for the obvious tension and pure hatred you harboured for each other though it did seem to lean on your side a bit more than it did to his. It had been the same for the first three years, bickering, pranks and whatnot. Then fourth year came and the scrawny boy you once knew had magically grown much taller and his face had lost a lot of the baby fat it once had. All at once Theodore Nott became one of the most sought after boys in Hogwarts and it only made you loathe him more. It made his ego triple in size and it made him much more flirty towards everyone but you seemed to be his number one target. All you wanted to do was to take your wand and puncture that bloated head of his.

Though his appearance changed he still was the boy you knew since you were a child and whenever he smiled you could see the same boyish grin he had way back when he was five. He had always been the same but now he just had a much more pretty face to disguise the fact he was a blithering idiot.

Theo watched as you stormed off, his smile never once leaving his face. He loved to mess with you purely to see the visceral anger that radiated off you every single time. The way you would try to stare him down but the action proved useless as he was much taller allowing him to simply look down smugly. It amused him to see how your reactions never changed. 

Ever since you were five you held the same expressions: whenever you were mildly irritated by him you would chew on your bottom lip, whenever you were pissed your eyes would double in size and you’d look like a fire-breathing dragon, and whenever he made you upset you would stare blankly without a word. He’d only ever made you truly upset once and when seeing your face he knew he would never do it again because even if the two of you bickered and fought he would never hurt you.

“Sometimes I think you’re secretly dating because you should see the way you’re daydreaming hopelessly while staring at L/n’s retreating figure Nott, you look like a bloody imbecile.” Draco slapped Theo’s back startling him out of his own thoughts. He scoffed after realising what his friend was implying.

“Oh Salazar’s balls I think I’m going to regurgitate my breakfast. You’ve gone insane if you even think for a second there’s a chance I fancy that creature.”

Laughter erupted from his friends and they continued to mock and tease him obviously not being mature enough to handle the situation with grace.

“I would rather shag the giant squid than date L/n and I’m sure the feeling is mutual.”

Mattheo hummed to himself and smirked. He placed his arm on Theo’s shoulder. “Well then can I ask her out? She’s real hot and I think she’d be interested.”

“L/n might be stupid Riddle but she wouldn’t ever go out with you or even give you the time of day. So don’t even think about doing it.” And with that he left and his friends exchanged knowing glances before bursting into another fit of laughter at their friend’s own obliviousness.

//

This was so not your day. 

Never in your life had you forgotten to hand in homework yet one silly slip up had cost you to spend your free afternoon in detention. It wasn’t your fault you had mixed up the dates on when the transfiguration homework was due. 

You begrudgingly opened the classroom doors, finding a seat to sit down for the next hour. At least you were able to catch up on some other classes while you were in detention otherwise you thought you would’ve gone mad. You looked around the classroom save for Professor McGonagall who had already greeted you when you walked in there was no one else there. 

It hadn’t even been a minute when the doors burst open to reveal a very tall and very smug Slytherin.

“Mr Nott, glad for you to join us, find a seat please.”

Theo's grin faltered as his eyes locked onto yours, a flicker of confusion dancing across his features before it was swiftly replaced by his trademark smirk. He made his way toward you, closing the distance until there were mere centimetres separating you from him.

“Now L/n, Nott, I have important business to tend to so I assume the both of you are mature enough to sit through this detention. I hope that I don’t hear about any incidents when I am gone.”

It was as if your nightmare had all of a sudden come to life as you watched McGonagall leave the classroom. You tried to protest but it fell upon deaf ears as the professor had already left the room, leaving you stuck with your nemesis.

You whipped your head to face the brunette, irritation flashing in your eyes. Why had he chosen to sit next to you when there were plenty of other seats available? The classroom was far from crowded, yet here he was, invading your personal space with his mere presence

“Why are you sitting next to me Nott?”

“Why can’t I? Do you happen to own every seat in this classroom?” He teased. “I didn’t think you did, so I’m going to sit where I want.”

You grumbled under your breath at his stubbornness, getting up to pack your things. “Fine, but then I’m moving.”

Before you could make your move, Theo reached out and grabbed your arm. “Hey slow down, I have a perfect seat right here.” Your irritation flared at his audacity, and you shot him a scathing glare as he gestured to his lap with a smug smirk. “Why don’t you-”

“Nott, if you seriously propose that I sit in your lap I will hex you to oblivion.”

“Okay!” Theo held his hands up in mock surrender, his expression feigning innocence as he cocked his head to the side, the smirk never once leaving his face. “Stay here, I won’t bother you, I swear.”

You eyed him cautiously, your scepticism evident. You weighed the options before you reluctantly sat back down. “Fine.”

A quiet hush befell the classroom and all that could be heard was the scratching of quills on parchment. That is until you were interrupted by a persistent poking sensation that disrupted your concentration, each jab of the quill more annoying than the last. You clenched your jaw as you tried to ignore Theo but you knew he wouldn’t stop until you gave him attention and there was no way you were giving him the satisfaction of reacting. So he continued to poke and poke and poke. 

His incessant poking finally pushed you over the edge, prompting a sharp hiss of irritation from your lips. "What?" You snapped, unable to contain your frustration any longer.

“What are you doing here?” 

If there was a competition for incompetence Theodore Nott would sure have won first place.

“Detention obviously.”

“Oh you know what I meant, why are you in detention? Did you do something stupid? Wait, you do that all the time I forgot.” You rolled your eyes, resisting the urge to roll them right out of your skull. "Tell me, bella," He continued, his voice laced with faux innocence. "I don't bite."

“Forgot my homework.” You reluctantly mumbled under your breath, feeling all too claustrophobic at how close he was to you. “Not that big of a deal.”

“Oh but it is.”

“What does that even mean, Nott?” Your eyes narrowed. Theo’s face twisted into a playful smirk and he was so close that you could practically hear his heart beating.

He chuckled, undeterred by your hostility. "But it's not like you to forget your homework," He teased, leaning in closer. "There must be something distracting you. Perhaps... thoughts of me?"

As if on instinct your hands reached out to push the unbearable boy away from you and you immediately got up at his incredulous words. You saw the way laughter bubbled and slipped from his lips, mocking you which only added more fuel to the evergrowing fire.

"In your dreams, Nott," You retorted, your voice laced with venom as you rose from your seat, your movements quick and determined. "I would sooner volunteer for a Dementor's kiss than waste a single thought on you."

Theo’s smirk only widened and his eyes gleamed with mischief. "Oh, believe me, the feeling is mutual," He quipped, his voice dripping with amusement as he rested his chin on his palms, his gaze never wavering from yours.

You huffed out an angry breath before picking your stuff up and stalking to the opposite end of the classroom. Luckily, he didn’t follow and you were left in peace for the rest of the detention.

//

It had been a week and a half since your detention yet Theodore Nott hadn’t approached you once since. In fact, you hadn’t seen him around school a lot, not that you were paying attention of course. It was just weird. Usually his face would pop up in front of you multiple times a day yet he was nowhere to be found. You had even lingered around the Slytherin table at lunch to see if he would show up but he never did. 

There was this sick feeling in the pit of your stomach. Even though you did despise Theo you had known him since he was a kid and he never was one to skip lessons much less disappear for over a week. Even his Slytherin friends didn’t know where he went.

That is until today. The moment you had walked into the dungeons ready for your Potions lesson you spotted him. There was a part of you that hoped you would see him today, after all he was your Potions partner. But there was something wrong. His face looked gaunt, pale, sapped of life and his eyes were merely blank as he sat unmoving. His usual demeanour was replaced with one of hollow emptiness.

“Where have you been Nott?” No response. You frowned as you looked at him, he seemed to not even hear you. “Nott? Have you suddenly become deaf?”

“It’s none of your business.” He snapped voice obviously laced with malice as the words cut through the air. The sharpness of his tone caught you off guard, a twinge of hurt gnawing at the edges of your consciousness despite the fact you both had said worse to each other.

You chose to ignore the fact that Theo was obviously in a sour mood and sat down beside him, unpacking your things. There was nothing special about the lesson, nothing that you needed to particularly pay attention to. Not that you did since you were too focused on trying to figure out what was wrong with your partner. Theo didn’t look okay, not in the slightest. He seemed exhausted and his sluggish movements proved you correct as he diced the various ingredients. 

You were in the middle of stirring the cauldron when Theo dropped a dandelion root in the mixture causing it to bubble and spit. The concoction spilled onto your hand and you shrieked at the sudden burning sensation that seemed to consume your hand in flames. The sensation is unbearable, a sharp, burning agony that seems to penetrate deep into your very bones. By now the whole class had stopped to look at you not fully registering what had happened. You turned to Theo, tears threatening to fall from your eyes at the pain but he stood there frozen, an expression you couldn’t decipher on his face.

“Theo-”

"Fucking hell, L/n." He spat, his voice dripping with disdain. "Would it kill you to not be such a clumsy moron? You could've hurt me as well. How can you even call yourself a witch?"

His words were sharp and spiteful. Through the many years of knowing Theodore Nott he had never blamed you for something he did. He might have been an incorrigible prick but he would still apologise if he had ever hurt you genuinely. But as you looked at him you couldn’t recognise the cold harsh look he gave you and you bit back your tears. You wouldn’t cry in front of him. 

Despite the fact your hand was in pain you felt something tighten around your chest and it made the air around you feel thick as if you couldn’t breathe. You stood up angrily, opening your mouth to snap back but your vision starts to fade, black spots invade your senses and that was the last thing you remember before you tumbled to the floor.

You woke up a few hours later as you felt the sun shine on your face. You blinked, disorientated, as you tried to get used to your surroundings. The familiar walls of the infirmary materialised and you felt some ease at knowing where you were. Confusion still gnawed at your mind as you struggled to piece together what had happened. How had you ended up in the infirmary? And why did everything feel so hazy, as if viewed through a foggy lens? 

Your gaze drifted to your hand, the source of the searing pain. And there, wrapped in a pristine white bandage, lay the answer to at least one of your questions. The memory flooded back in fragments, disjointed and incomplete.

Theo's careless mistake, the scalding mixture splattering across your skin, the sharp cry of pain that had torn through the air, all of it came rushing back with startling clarity.

“Miss L/n you’re awake!” Madam Pomfrey’s voice cut through your thoughts and you saw the woman make her way towards you hurriedly. “That was a terrible burn you had, lucky I had some burn-healing paste on me otherwise you would have had an ugly scar.”

You were still a bit dazed, trying to piece together how you even managed to make your way here. You distinctively remembered collapsing to the floor but that was where your memory stopped and it refused to give you any more.

“Sorry Madam Pomfrey but do you know how I got here? I really can’t seem to remember.”

“Oh dear.” The nurse frowned at your condition. “Mr Nott brought you here. He’s been here the whole afternoon. He's only just popped to dinner. I'm sure he’ll be back. Merlin, the boy did look worried.”

You resisted the urge to scoff at her words. Theodore Nott, worried. Not a chance. He probably only brought you here because Slughorn insisted, and he couldn't risk getting on the professor's bad side. No, you highly doubted he cared about what had happened to you.

The memory of his harsh words repeated in your head like an echo that refused to go away, a reminder of his indifference to your situation. And yet, despite your efforts to brush it off, a bitter laugh escaped your lips. Why were you even upset? After all, the two of you were experts at hurling mean insults at each other. It was practically a pastime. 

Rather you should have been mad at the fact he was the one who caused you to get this injury anyway. If it wasn’t for his stupid mistake you wouldn’t be in this predicament. Then again, you remembered his movements, how his usual nimble fingers were fumbling the ingredients, how he stared at the pages of his book as though they were in a foreign language. Something wasn’t right.

“You’re awake.”

The words startled you and you spotted the Slytherin boy approaching your bed as his face held the same blank expression as before. He sat down beside you and your eyes narrowed. You shuffled away, not wanting to be near him.

“I’m sorry.” He murmured quietly and the words caught you off guard. “These past few days just haven’t been the best and-”

“That’s your excuse?” You bristled at his pathetic apology, hoping that you had misheard what he had said. “You mess up our potion resulting in me getting hurt and then hurl insults my way trying to blame me for what happened. And you think simply saying ‘I’m sorry’ is enough? Using the excuse of having a few bad days as your way out?”

He stayed silent allowing you to continue.

“Theodore Nott, you always were an idiot.” You spat, the words tinged with disappointment. “But I never expected you to be such a heartless prick.”

As the final syllable fell from your lips, a heavy silence settled over the room, punctuated only by the shallow rise and fall of your breath. You held Theo’s gaze and as you studied him you noticed something you had failed to notice before. The dark circles that marred the skin beneath his eyes, the redness that rimmed their edges. The weariness that had been etched into his features. 

“I went home.” He finally said, breaking the silence with his words. “Father sent a letter saying it was urgent, that I needed to return home at once.”

You felt yourself deflate and your gaze softened. Theo and his father had never been on the best terms and ever since his mother died they drifted apart even more. Suddenly his attitude made sense and you felt the guilt seep into your senses.

“Turns out his urgent matter was that he found himself another potential wife. Some poor woman to endure his torture and he wanted to happily announce it to his son. He burnt all of my mother’s belongings and if I hadn’t stopped him he would’ve gotten rid of her grave as well.” Theo scoffed bitterly and you saw the way he was trying to stop the tears from falling. “That bastard calls himself my father but not once in his life has he ever cared about me.”

A heavy silence enveloped the both of you as you sat not uttering a word. You knew that he had always struggled with the strained relationship with his family. The death of his mother had resulted in Theo being distraught for weeks as he relived the nightmare whenever he closed his eyes. 

“I’m not going back there. I’m never setting foot in that house ever again.”

You placed your hand on his shoulder as you tried to offer some sort of comfort. His eyes locked with yours and you saw how his tears glistened as they fell silently. You felt ropes tighten around your heart and you squeezed his shoulder gently. It had been a long time since you saw Theodore Nott cry. It was a rare sight but that was what made it that much more painful.

“I’m so sorry, I didn’t know.” You whispered. “I honestly…I’m so sorry Theo. He really doesn’t deserve a son like you. You’re incredible, you know that? You might be irritating and loud and downright infuriating at times but he doesn’t deserve you because you’re amazing Theodore Nott. And, Merlin, if I’m saying that then it must mean a lot because we both know my word is golden.”

You offered him a small smile and your heart warms when you see one tug at his lips too. He looked away for a second and you saw his eyes land on your bandaged hand and he winced.

“I really am sorry for messing up our potion. I didn’t mean what I said, you’re a brilliant witch Y/n, you always have been. I was just being a prat, I’m really sorry.”

“It’s fine, it’s honestly nothing bad. My hand will probably already be back to normal, I heal quickly you know.” You paused as your smile faltered and you chose your next words carefully. “If…if you don’t want to return to your house, you can always go to someone else's.”

Theo chuckled as he shook his head. “No one is going to accept me into their house without turning me into my father.”

“I will.” 

Silence. Theo looked at you, confusion clear on his face but your gaze was strong and he could tell you had meant what you had said. You felt yourself flush at his stare and you realised your hand was still on his shoulder and you quickly removed it.

“Accept you into my house I mean. My parents love you and you know they haven’t been on good terms with your father ever since what happened. We would be more than willing to take you in.” You watched as his face contorted into expressions that you couldn’t formulate. “That is if you promise not to fill my bathtub with toads again.”

Laughter fell from his lips, cascading like a melody. He lifted his hands to wipe away his tears that had been streaking down his face. His eyes no longer held the blank emotionless look but rather a certain warmth that you had missed seeing. Your grin widened upon hearing the sound and you found yourself joining in.

“At least you look pretty-”

Your words were cut off abruptly as Theo leaned in, his lips capturing yours in a sudden and unexpected kiss. You froze, unable to comprehend what exactly was happening as disbelief rippled through your body. His hands found their way at the back of your neck and you feel his thumb caress your cheek tenderly. You were still in shock when he pulled away and the last few words of the sentence you were about to say tumbled out of your mouth.

“-when you cry…”

You blinked as your mind tried to grapple at what had just happened. Theodore Nott had just kissed you. Theodore Nott, the boy you had despised since you were five, had just kissed you. He kissed you. Kissed…you. Immediately, your body erupted into flames and you felt your face flush hot at how close the both of you were.

“Your body temperature has risen extremely quickly.” Theo teased and you felt yourself grow even hotter.

“Shut it.”

“Like you’re actually a human radiator.” He continued undeterred by your glare.

“Nott if you don’t want to lose your head I would advise you to shut up.”

Theo grinned and you felt your heart stutter at the sight. “Oh so now I’m back to being Nott? What happened to Theo?” He said his name in a high pitched croon in an attempt to mock your voice and you smacked the backside of his head which only encouraged his laughter.

“You’re actually going to be the death of me.” You groaned as you slumped back down the bed, pulling the covers over your face as a feeble attempt to hide yourself from the pretty Slytherin.

Theo poked your arm and you peeked out to find him staring at you with a bright grin on his face. 

"Don't worry." He reassured you, his voice light and teasing. "I'll make sure to stay by your side forever and ever, like a blood-sucking parasite."

“How romantic.” You drawled as you rolled your eyes, trying to maintain a facade of annoyance as you retreated under the covers once more.

“Aren’t I just?” 

You ignored Theo’s playful whines for you to let him see your face. Your heart threatened to break out of your chest as you tried to calm yourself down. But even so, you were unable to stop the grin that spread across your face. Maybe, just maybe, forever wouldn't be so bad with Theodore Nott by your side.

[nekonaps0]

Little rival

✦fem!reader

✦characters: Kageyama, Nishinoya, Oikawa, Kuroo, Atsumu

✦A little kid walking up and innocently telling their girlfriend, “When I grow up, I wanna marry you!”

Kageyama Tobio

You and Kageyama are walking together when a chubby-cheeked kid tugs on your sleeve and boldly declares,

“You’re really pretty! When I grow up, I’m gonna marry you!”

Kageyama freezes. Like, full on system error. He blinks. Once. Twice. And then slowly turns to look at the kid like he’s a new challenger entering the match.

“…Hah?” he mutters, so confused he might actually think the kid is serious. “You’re, like, five.”

When you start laughing, Kageyama frowns, crossing his arms. “Why are you laughing? He just proposed to you. That’s not funny. He said he’s gonna marry you! Isn’t he too young for that?!”

You try to explain it was cute and harmless, but Kageyama is now in serious mode. “You are my girlfriend. This isn’t a competition…” he mumbles.

Later that day, he’s quieter than usual. Eventually, he mutters, “I can’t believe I got jealous of a five-year-old…” he covers his embarrassed face with his hands.

Nishinoya Yuu

The moment the kid says, “I’m gonna marry you when I grow up,” Nishinoya gasps so loud it’s theatrical.

He immediately drops into a squat so he’s eye level with the kid, hands on his knees, expression serious.

“Whoa, WHOA, buddy. Bold move.” He grins, but there's a twitch in his eyebrow. “But you gotta earn her heart. This isn’t just a fairy tale, my dude.”

Then he turns to you, gripping your hand dramatically.

“Babe. He wants to steal you from me.” He acts like he’s been betrayed by fate itself.

You’re laughing so hard you can barely breathe, while Noya is now giving the kid a motivational speech about love. “When you’re older, you’re gonna meet someone awesome. But this goddess right here? Sorry, already taken. And I would rather DIE than let anyone take her!”

Please stop him before he traumatizes the little boy…

Oikawa Tooru

The second the kid says it, Oikawa puts on the fakest, most plastic smile of his life.

“Awww, that’s soooo sweet of you,” he says through gritted teeth.

Then he crouches next to the kid, putting a hand on his shoulder. “Listen, little man… she’s already dating the most gorgeous, talented, and charming person alive—me. And, well… you’ve got a long way to go before you can compete.”

He throws you a wink, but you can tell he’s definitely sulking. “You like her smile, huh? Yeah, me too. It’s mine. Now move on.” You have to slap him on the back of his head to stop him before he makes the kid cry…

Later, as you’re walking away, he whispers, “You still think I’m cuter than him, right? Right?! Say it.”

And if you tease him even a little by saying, “I mean, he was kind of charming,” Oikawa gets offended. Like you just offended his whole bloodline. “I’m being replaced by a toddler! Is this the end?!”

Kuroo Tetsurou

The kid walks up confidently and says, “I think you’re really pretty, and I’m gonna marry you someday.”

Kuroo arches a brow and glances down at the kid, fighting a smirk. “Oh? That so?”

He slings an arm around your shoulder casually. “You’ve got good taste, kid. But unfortunately, you’re about ten years too early, and about one girlfriend short of a chance.”

You giggle and play along with the kid, who pouts when he realizes you're already taken. Kuroo kneels down, smirking just enough to tease but not scare him.

“Tell you what,” he says. “If you still feel this way some years later, look me up. Until then… hands off.” Then he winks and tousles the kid’s hair.

Later, he teases you about it. “I’m gonna have to keep an eye on you, huh? Even the kindergarteners are after you.”

Atsumu Miya

The second the kid says he wants to marry you, Atsumu’s jaw drops.

“Huh?? Did I just get challenged by a toddler?!”

He steps between you and the kid like he’s defending his title as your boyfriend.

“First of all, she’s mine, ‘kay? Second of all, you’re, like, in preschool. You even brush your own teeth yet?”

The kid just blinks at him while you try not to die laughing.

Atsumu scoffs. “Listen, lil’ man. I get it. She’s amazing. But I buy her clothes, bring her snacks, giving her massage. Can you do all that? Didn’t think so.”

You eventually pull him away before he starts arguing about taxes with the kid.

Later, he sulks with his head in your lap, mumbling, “Tch… can’t believe I got cock-blocked by a baby…”

You laughed so hard how childish he is but you give him a kiss and tell him he’s your #1 forever, and he immediately lights back up like the sun.

“Damn right I am.”

..............................................................................................................................

[theredcuyo]

The confessions in danmei i've read are actually pretty funny once you look past them for a bit

Svsss? Bingqiu never actually confesses, or more exactly, it's harder to pin point than you'd expect. No, i'm being for real. Binghe kisses Sqq and then Sqq realizes "Oh fuck he's in love with me" and continues on for the rest of the novel without addresing it but acting positively about couple shit with him, until it blows up in his face, then proceeds to tell Binghe he doesn't regret meeting him (Trhu telling him that if he was his mom he wouldn't have aborted him) but that's not enough because Lbh still doesn't think they're a thing until Sqq goes to meet him and tells him he'll follow him wherever THIS IS THE END OF THE NOVEL MIND YOU. Then they get married and Binghe admits to still be insecure about their relationship by then. The closest thing there is, is Sqq telling Binghe that he likes him on one of the extras. Bingqiu never publicly addreseses their relationship, at least not directly or in words but everyone seems to know anyway.

Wangxian has the most clear and direct confession in two parts. First, under a hostage situation Wwx yells at the top of his lungs, and infront of family of BOTH of them that he really wanted to sleep with Lwj because they did just sleep together like a few hours ago. Second, when everyone is too shocked still by that and the plot, he proceeds to sit on Lwj's lap and continue to explain that he loves him very, very much, to which Lwj repeats his words. Then not five minutes after they're disguting everyone with over the top pda, WHILE STILL ON A HOSTAGE SITUATION AND BEING UNDER TREATS. When the plot let's them go, they hug their adopted son, and then proceed to elope.

Hualian is funny because it happens in the worst situation one of them could imagine and they still come out on top. Hua Cheng was an anxious mess about the whole cave of statues because surely Dianxia would get disguisted by him, then they get under attack by the big bad and traumatic prescense of an asshole, and while they scape Xie Lian tells him they should talk about the statues, then despite of saying that there are things to be said outloud, Xie Lian proceeds to not say shit and silently hug Hua Cheng. Hua Cheng hugs him back, then the plot stoles Xie Lian away for a bit and when he comes back they proceed to gross out everyone with over the top pda for the rest of the novel, on account of Hua Cheng not restraining himself anymore. At some point after the ending they get married and this is common knowledge, said common knowledge includes very accurate descriptions of what happened in their weeding night.

Ranwan? Mo Ran has been mentally torturing himself since he realized he was in love with Chu Wanning and kicking himself mentally for even thinking about it to the point that he doesn't realize the feelings are mutual until they help people escape from attempted genocide. Then he proceeds to be as gentle about it as possible but still being bold in his declaration. Chu Wanning gay panics and runs away but he gets that they do share feelings, he also kicks himself and angsts about it. They then start a relationship without more discussion about it. Ranwan's confession is funny because it's the most normal, planned and gentle thing there is, which is the complete fucking opposite of literally everything else they ever go trhu. How come Mo Ran the moron who can't go two chapters for most of the volumes without being horny about Chu Wanning gets the normal confession? Lfmao. Also, the novel spents a good chunk of time anguishing over the view people will have on their relationship just for everyone not to give a fuck after the ending.

Pd: Special mention to Moshang with one of them not knowing they apparently were a thing, scaping from what seemed like an abusive situation and going back after the other promised to be better. Only his best friend seems aware of all of this.

[ghost-in-the-hall]

Fall For Me (Poly! Sleep Token x Fem! Reader) - Pt. IX

Part 9 has finally arrived!!! This chapter we begin to move into winter as the first big snow storm of the year hits (really funny that I'm getting around to publishing this in the dead of the July heat lol). Everyone's finally starting to settle into the dynamic which will lead to some... Interesting interactions while the five of them are stuck in close quarters. I am still having issues with getting everyone tagged because Tumblr hates me, but if you would like to be added to the tag list please let me know! Thank you so much for reading!

WARNINGS: Some suggestive behavior

My Masterlist! ~ AO3 Link! ~ Tip Jar!

Part VIII - Part X

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Do you think the storm is going to be that bad?” Vessel asks. “It’s all we’ve been hearing about on the radio for the past few days.”

“It’s probably going to get pretty nasty. They’re expecting most of the town to lose power.” You bounce your leg nervously, watching him pause to go over his mental checklist in his head. “Would you, um… would you like to stay with me?”

He chuckles as he approaches the counter, “Scared of the big, bad snowstorm, lovey?” He teases with a smile.

“I’m not scared.” You snap back instantly, rolling your eyes. “It’s just,” Vessel didn’t miss the way the concern immediately crept back into your tone, “you’re so far out in the woods; what if something happens and no one can get out there to help.” His expression softens, reaching up to caress your cheek. You can't help but lean into his touch, his palm warm against your skin.

“If you’re more comfortable with us here, we’ll stay. Besides, do you really think I’m going to turn down a chance to spend more time with my girl?” Your cheeks grow warm as a flustered smile spreads across your lips. You still hadn't gotten used to Vessel so adamantly declaring you as his.

“Good,” you respond, trying your best to appear confident, “I need someone to keep me warm.” You smile coyly at him, making Vessel chuckle.

“Well, feeling bold today, are we beautiful?” His expression darkens slightly as a devious glint appears in his eyes. Your pulse immediately quickens as he offers you a sharp smile, his massive form towering over you, “You want to be in my arms, pretty girl?” He coos, making your face burn. He leans down, bringing his face in front of yours. “I'll hold you all night if that's what you want.” He whispers. He can't help but laugh slightly at your flustered expression, calling you cute as he straightens back up. “I'll be back in about an hour with the others. Let us take care of dinner tonight; you deserve to be spoiled for once.”

“Just be safe, okay? Everything always gets a little crazy around here on storm days.” He takes your hand, slowly bringing your knuckles to his lips.

“I'll be back before you know it.” He smiles sweetly. “Promise.”

While Vessel went to get the others, you took the time to make preparations. You were lucky enough to have the store beneath you; if you lost power, the fridges and your supply of ice would be sufficient to keep things cold for a while. You gathered all the candles and extra blankets from around your apartment, piling them up in one area with your other emergency supplies. You can’t help but smile when there’s a knock at your door. You squeal as III’s large hands wrap around your waist, lifting you effortlessly from the floor. “There she is!” He exclaims excitedly, spinning you around in a hug. You’re suddenly sandwiched between him and IV; you let out a pleased hum as III slots his lips against yours, IV peppering your face with kisses simultaneously.

IV nuzzles his face against yours as III pulls back. “We missed you, doll.” You spin around, slipping into IV’s arms, letting him hug you close as III starts bringing things into the kitchen. He sways you gently in his arms, taking a moment to memorize the feeling of you being pressed against him before pulling back. “I'm going to help the others set up.” He smiles, leaning down to kiss your forehead.

II pushes through the door, arms full of what appeared to be pillows, as he struggles to keep his grip on all of them. “Want some help with that?” You offer with a giggle.

“That'd be great, thanks.” He responds with a chuckle of his own. You smile coyly at him, your arms sliding over his shoulders as he saunters up to you. “And how are you doing today, beautiful?”

“Much better now that you're all here.” You respond softly.

He hums approvingly, “That’s what I like to hear.” He trails a finger along your jaw, carefully tilting your chin until he can easily kiss you. Even the gentlest kisses from II always managed to take your breath away, and now was no different. “You just hang back and relax, love. Let us handle everything.”

Your heart always felt so full whenever all five of you were together. You would never get sick of how lively the group of them made you and your home feel. “Here you go.” You smile as IV slips a glass of wine into your hand, collapsing onto the couch at your side. Vessel, II, and III were currently bickering over something in the kitchen, leaving the two of you alone for what felt like the first time in forever. “I have something for you.” He states softly. He takes your hand, rummaging around in his bag with the other until he produces a small, brown leather notebook. “Here.” He offers it to you; you can't help but smile at the gift.

“What's this?” You ask curiously. You open to the first page, and IV’s messy script is the first thing you see. ‘For my favorite girl, hopefully, this makes up for all the times I should have bought you flowers.’ You flip to the second page to find a perfectly preserved pressed flower. A bright orange bloom sat atop a stem of tiny green leaves; the date IV must have picked it, and the flower's name should have been written in the upper right corner. The rest of the book followed a similar pattern. A collection of vibrant reds, purples, and golds filled the rest of the pages. You could tell how carefully every flower was handled just by how it was presented to you on the page.

“Whenever I find a flower I think you'd like, I press it in a book. That way, you can keep them forever without them wilting.” The gesture was so sweet you blinked rapidly to clear the tears from your eyes.

“Thank you, IV, this is incredible.” You set the book carefully down on the table, reaching out and pulling him into your arms. He wasted no time melting into you, his arms circling your waist as he returned your embrace.

“You make me really happy, you know that?” You smile, burying your face into the crook of his neck.

“So do you.” You both reluctantly separate from each other. You rest a hand on IV’s cheek, smiling softly at him as you study how his features curve under the fabric of his mask. You carefully take his face in your hands, guiding him forward to kiss his forehead. He smiles, letting out a deep breath he hadn't realized he was holding.

“Dinner’s ready!” You both jump as you hear Vessel call from the kitchen. He stands, helping you from the couch. IV pulls you into his side, pressing a kiss to the top of your head.

“Let's go before it's all gone.” He chuckles

You stood at III’s side, helping him clean up after dinner. “That food was amazing.” You remark, making him chuckle.

“I try my best.” He responds humbly. “Working with whatever we can grow or hunt, I want to ensure it, at least, tastes good.” You finish drying off the wine glass you had been using earlier, pushing yourself up on your toes to struggle to reach the top shelf. III chuckles; you freeze as you feel the warmth of his body creep up your back, nearly making you drop the glass in the process. “Need some help, love?” He whispers, making you shiver. His long arms can easily reach up to set the glass back in its spot. His hands find their way to your waist, lifting you from the floor to put you on the counter easily. “I can finish up here; you can just relax.” He chuckles as you pout in response.

“You cooked dinner; the least I could do is help with the dishes,” you protest. He places his hands on either side of your waist as he leans closer.

“I think the least you could do is let someone take care of you for a change.” He whispers, making your cheeks grow warm. He studies you, a playful expression growing on his face as he realizes your flustered state. His hands leave the counter, massaging your plush thighs before they slide to your back, pulling you closer to him. You felt so small in his hands, but he still easily towered over you from your position on the counter. He ran his hands soothingly up and down your sides. You forced yourself to stifle the soft whine that threatened to leave you at the feeling of his strong hands against your body. “You're always so worried about taking care of everyone else. When was the last time someone did the same for you?”

Your heart slammed against your ribcage, your thoughts growing fuzzy as you began to feel like putty under III’s touch. “But–” he hushes you softly as you start to argue.

“You deserve to be spoiled.” He says softly, lifting his mask enough to kiss you. “I want to make sure that you are.” You let out a pleased sound as he pushes into you. Your hands roam over his chest; you groan at the feeling of his muscles tensing under your palm. This kiss with III felt different than the others you had shared. This one was noticeably more intense and needy than when you kissed him. His fingers massaged into your muscles as he desperately sought to have you any closer to him than you already were. His breathing was heavy when the two of you finally separated; you could feel the way his hands trembled slightly against your skin.

“What's wrong?” Worry is immediately prominent in your tone.

“Nothing, doll.” He responds gruffly. “It's just if I keep kissing you like that–” he trails off with a chuckle.

“Too bad it's not just the two of us.” You respond under your breath. III’s gaze snaps to you, unsure if he had heard you correctly or not at first. You glance up at him through your lashes, and III could have sworn in that moment his heart stopped. You lean up, placing a gentle kiss on his clothed lips. “Hopefully, that’s not the last time you kiss me like that.”

“Trust me, you don't have to worry about that.” He smiles in response.

“Are you two done in there or what?” You hear II call, “Did we really have that many dishes?”

You giggle, “We should get back to the others.” He chuckles, nodding his agreement.

You found yourself seated in Vessel’s lap; your legs stretched over IV’s legs as he held your hand, your feet resting comfortably in III’s lap as he made easy work of massaging away all the tension in your muscles. II sat on the floor in front of the couch, holding your free hand in his own and bringing your knuckles to his lips every so often. You had thrown on a movie, some mindless holiday comedy that everyone seemed content with. You leaned into Vessel’s chest, letting your head fall against his shoulder. He smiles at you, carefully reaching up to tuck some hair behind your ear. “You less nervous now, love?” He asks softly.

“How could I be nervous? I have all of you within arms reach.” You giggle. He hugs you close, the two of you enjoying the chance to be so close to each other. Just as your eyes grew heavy, your apartment was plunged into complete darkness. “Shit.” You curse, attempting to hurry out of Vessel’s lap; you pause when he gently squeezes your hip.

“II.” He states simply.

“On it.” Before you could ask what was happening, a match was struck to life. But all the candles were on the other side of the apartment; there was no way he could have gotten over there–

“I'll get the stove started.” III stands, placing your feet in IV’s lap. “These two better do a good job of keeping you warm.” He chuckles, quickly pressing a kiss to the top of your head as he passes by.

You didn't have to lift a finger. Before you knew it, the wood stove was warming the living room, candles casting a soft orange glow over the entire space, and a mug of tea warming your hands as you sat sandwiched between IV and II on the couch. The night sped by as you found yourself playing card games, laughing to the point your sides hurt as you witnessed them bicker and repeatedly get caught trying to cheat. “I'm not counting cards!” II protests.

“You absolutely are!” III argues, “Don't think I can't see you counting on your hands!” II opens his mouth to respond, only for III to cut him off, “Disqualified! You are disqualified!” II groans, admitting defeat as he throws his cards on the table.

Vessel wraps an arm around your shoulders, pulling you into his side. “You're looking a little tired, love.” You couldn't even attempt to argue as a yawn forces its way past your lips. “Let's call it a night.” He announced, helping you from the floor. “Goodnight.” Vessel leans down, pressing a kiss to your cheek.

“Goodnight, Ves.” You smile, slipping into his arms for one final hug. You exchange your good nights with the others, reluctant to leave them even though you would only be in the next room. You could hear them all get settled as you lay in bed, your apartment eventually becoming deathly quiet once again. You lay there for what felt like hours, and it had only been about 20 minutes when you checked the time. You sigh, sitting up in bed. You stare at the door, debating whether any of them were still up. You toss back your covers and leave your bed, wincing slightly as the floorboards creak beneath your feet. You carefully crack open your bedroom door, glancing into the living room only to find Vessel still awake, reading a book under the low candlelight. “Everything alright, love?” He asks quietly. It took you a moment to respond, surprised that he realized you were there.

“I just can’t sleep.” You admit sheepishly, opening the door just wide enough to reveal yourself. He closes the book he was reading, setting it on the end table behind him.

“Come here, sweetheart.” He beckons you closer with a nod of his head. You carefully maneuver around the others, who had found a comfortable spot on the floor for the night. Vessel opens his arms for you, allowing you to crawl into his warm embrace. You cuddled into his chest, the heavy weight of his arms around your waist immediately lulling you into a new state of comfort as you melted into him. He tilts his head back; you swallow thickly as you realize just how nice it would feel to have your lips trail along the skin of his neck. You quickly shook the thought from your mind as he blew out the candle. “What’s troubling that pretty little head of yours, hm?” He purrs. You were finding it hard to concentrate. Vessel’s body was so warm every ache in your muscles simply seemed to vanish as you allowed your fingers to trail over his bare skin. He smelled of damp earth, musky incense, and the subtle sweetness of freshly cut flowers.

“Can I ask you something?” You whisper, looking up at him despite the fact you could barely make out the outline of his face.

“Of course.” He responds in the same quiet tone. He adjusts his position, hoisting you up higher on his chest to bring your face closer to his. “You can ask me anything you like, love.”

You could feel his lips brush against yours as he spoke; the feeling was enough to send a shiver up your spine. “Do you think about me?”

“Love, the image of you never leaves my mind.” You can’t help but smile at his response. “I can’t even begin to describe how special you are to me.” He carefully cups your cheek in his hand, his thumb trailing across your jaw. “I must not be doing a very good job as your boyfriend.” He jokes with a chuckle. “There’s got to be some way for me to prove how crazy I am about you.” The edge of his mask bumps against your cheek as he pushes it off his face. His hand carefully cradled your head, guiding your lips down to meet his. You could feel his heartbeat racing under your palm. He kissed you hesitantly at first, his whole body rigid as he waited to see how you would respond to such a bold gesture from him. He had kept you at arm’s length since he met you, not because he didn’t care about you. It was the exact opposite. If he wasn’t careful, Vessel felt he could easily find himself becoming infatuated with you, something that could cost him dearly if you ended up stabbing him in the back like so many others had in the past. Yet, over the time he had known you and the short time you had been together as partners, your affection for him never wavered. Goosebumps erupted across your skin as Vessel slid a hand under your shirt, his tough, calloused hands rough against your back. “There isn’t a second that passes by where I’m not thinking of you; the sound of your laugh, the way you smile, the way you seem to fit so perfectly in my arms; I am always thinking about you.” He confesses breathlessly against your lips. You let out a soft hum of approval as he crushes his lips against yours again, struggling to stay quiet but not wanting to risk waking the others. You felt like you would die if Vessel stopped kissing you. He groans at the feeling of your hands timidly wandering his body, shaky fingers tracing along the outlines of his muscles as your lips melded perfectly to his. He kissed you until there was physically no air left in his lungs. You struggle to steady your rapidly pounding heart. You rest your hand on the side of his face, gently trailing along the peak of his cheekbone. He caught your hand in his, startling you slightly at the abruptness. He brings your knuckles to his lips. “No matter how much I would like to keep kissing you, you should probably get some rest, love.” He says with a chuckle.

“Now, how is that fair?” You ask coyly, “You make me wait all this time to kiss you, and I only get to do it once?” He tilts your chin up with his thumb. You could feel him smile against your lips. “I’ll make it up to you, I promise.” Your eyes flutter shut as you’re met with another euphoric kiss, “but you have to get some sleep.” You grumble out your reluctant agreement, placing one final chaste kiss on his lips before settling against his chest, your eyes feeling heavy as your adrenaline wears off.

You’re woken up the following morning by a knock at the door. You sit up, wiping away the sleep in your eyes as you try to make sense of your situation. You had fallen asleep in the living room last night after coming to see Vessel; you remembered that much. All four of them were already awake and much more alert than you were at the sudden disturbance. “Relax, I’m sure it’s just the plow guy or something.” You reassure them. You stand, shivering as all the warmth is rapidly stolen from your body. You unlocked your door, opening it just enough to peer outside. Your stomach dropped at seeing the police officer on the other side.

He greets you with a familiar smile, “Got a second to talk?”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tag List can now be found in the comments!

[hisfavegirl]

Aegon Reaction to Your Pole Dancing Video in instgram.

Thanks to @zaldritzosrose for letting me using your beautiful dividers

Aegon Targaryen was not amused.

It started with a notification—his phone buzzing lazily in his hand as he lay sprawled on the couch. He wasn’t expecting anything exciting, maybe some mindless scrolling. And then he saw it.

Your Instagram post.

A video.

Of you.

Pole dancing.

The slow, teasing way your body moved, the way your hands gripped the pole, the way your hips swayed so effortlessly—it was enough to make his mouth go dry. Enough to make his blood fucking boil.

But the worst part? The comments.

“Goddamn.”

“I need a moment.”

“She can ruin me, and I’d thank her.”

“Aegon is the luckiest man alive. If he fumbles, I’m next.”

Aegon saw red.

His jaw clenched as his grip tightened around his phone, nearly cracking it in his hand. His knee bounced aggressively, his body vibrating with jealousy and rage.

He was already dialing your number.

No answer.

His teeth ground together. He didn’t care if you were out. He didn’t care what you were doing. He needed to handle this.

So he sent a text instead.

Aegon: Delete the video. Now.

Seen. No reply.

A muscle in his jaw twitched. Fine. You wanted to play? He’d play.

Less than twenty minutes later, he was storming through your door. You barely had time to react before he was there, grabbing your phone right out of your hand.

“What the hell, Aegon—”

“You think this is funny?” His voice was low, dark, dangerous. His eyes burned into you, stormy with jealousy. “Posting that video? Letting other men drool over you like you’re some—some—”

Your brows furrowed. “I’m some what, Aegon?”

He exhaled sharply, nostrils flaring. His fingers raked through his silver-blond hair, his other hand still gripping your phone. “You know exactly what you’re doing,” he growled. “You wanted attention? Congratulations, you got it. And now I get to deal with a bunch of pathetic little fucks thinking they have a chance with my girl.”

Your lips parted slightly at his words.

My girl.

Possessive. Jealous. Fuming. And absolutely turned on.

“Aegon, it was just a video,” you tried, softer now. “It’s not that deep.”

His gaze flicked to yours, intense and unreadable. And then, in a flash, he had you pinned against the wall.

“You think it’s not that deep?” he murmured, voice dropping into something dark and wicked. His hands gripped your waist, firm, demanding. “You really don’t get it, do you?”

You swallowed hard. You knew that look.

“You don’t post shit like that unless it’s for me,” he growled, pressing his forehead against yours. “So tell me, sweetheart—how do you plan on making it up to me?”

The internet lost its mind.

Aegon Targaryen was already known for being bold, cocky, and possessive—but this? This was a declaration.

The video was barely a few seconds long, yet it was utterly devastating.

A perfect mirror shot.

You, on top of him, body arching in pure abandon. moaning his name like a needy girl you're.

His hand gripping your hair, pulling just enough to make you tilt your head back.

And him? Smirking. Lazy, smug, like a man who had just won the ultimate prize.

The caption?

“If she wants attention, she’ll get it—from me.”

The internet exploded.

— “WHAT THE HELL, AEGON?! WE WERE JUST ADMIRING HER POLE DANCING, NOT ASKING FOR THIS ATTACK.”

— “He really said ‘MY GIRL’ in the loudest way possible.”

— “I was happy being delusional until this man reminded me that I’m single as hell.”

— “I’m blocking both of you for my mental health.”

— “Not him marking his territory in 4K.”

— “Aegon just dropped the most toxic, possessive, jealous boyfriend move and we’re all jealous??”

— “This is revenge for the pole dancing vid and we ALL lost.”

— “I need Aegon Targaryen erased from history before I die of envy.”

— “The way she’s arching though… girl, blink twice if you need help.”

The video spread like wildfire. Within minutes, it was on every fan page, every meme account, every thirst edit. People were breaking down in the comments, screaming, crying, throwing their phones.

And Aegon?

He was loving every second of it.

The moment Aegon posted that video, the family group chat turned into absolute chaos.

FAMILY GROUP CHAT: Family Therapy Session.

— Alicent: Aegon. Targaryen. DELETE THAT RIGHT NOW.

— Helaena: …why is this the first thing I see when I open Instagram?

— Aemond: Have you lost your damn mind?

— Daemon: LMAO. This is so embarrassing for the rest of you.

— Rhaenyra: Alicent, come get your son.

— Jace: Bro. You need therapy.

— Luke: I DID NOT NEED TO SEE THAT.

— Baela: I’m blocking both of you.

— Rhaenys: I have never been more ashamed to share blood with any of you.

— Daemon: Weak move. If you really wanted to mark her, you should’ve made sure it wasn’t mirror-friendly.

— Viserys : Even I would’ve taken your phone away for this.

Meanwhile, in the Instagram comments:

— AlicentHightower: I have failed as a mother.

— HelaenaTargaryen: The bugs didn’t warn me about this.

— AemondOneEye: This is why I tell people we aren’t related.

— JacaerysVelaryon: @YourUsername, blink twice if you need rescuing.

— RhaenyraTargaryen: Can someone explain why I’m tagged in this??

— DaemonTargaryen: This is why he’s my favorite nephew.

— CristonCole: Disgraceful.

Aegon, of course, was thriving in the chaos.

He sent one message in the group chat and muted it.

— Aegon: Don’t like it? Unfollow. 😘

The knock on the door was loud—not the casual kind, but the type that promised trouble. Aegon barely had time to pull on a shirt before the door swung open. His mother stormed in first, followed by Aemond, Helaena, and Jace, all wearing various degrees of rage, horror, and exhaustion. Daemon strolled in last, looking amused as hell.

Alicent was seething, her face flushed with pure mortification.

“Aegon. What in the name of the Seven was that?”

He stretched lazily, unfazed. “A video.”

“A video?” Aemond repeated, his voice sharp. “You mean the public video of you and her—IN YOUR BED—posted for the entire world to see?”

Jace looked traumatized, hands on his hips, as if he didn’t know whether to fight Aegon or bleach his eyes.

“Do you have any shame?” Jace nearly shouted. “People sent that to me. I had to see that with my own eyes.”

Helaena, standing in the middle of the chaos, looked genuinely confused as she muttered, “But why through a mirror?”

Daemon? Oh, he was having the time of his life.

“I, for one, think this is hilarious,” he smirked, leaning against the wall. “But even I didn’t go this far.”

Alicent looked like she was two seconds away from throwing something.

“Do you understand how humiliating this is?” she snapped. “Not just for you but for all of us?”

Aegon rolled his eyes, slouching onto the couch.

“Relax, mother,” he drawled. “She looked good, didn’t she?”

Silence.

Then Aemond lunged.

It took Daemon and Jace to hold him back as he snarled, “I should break your jaw for that.”

Aegon grinned, knowing he’d won.

“Too late. Already got what you wish you had.”

That? That’s when the real fight broke out.

The argument was already spiraling into chaos, but Daemon, being Daemon, decided to make things worse.

He clapped Aegon on the back, grinning like the devil himself.

“I don’t see what the problem is,” Daemon drawled. “Boy’s just showing off. Frankly, Rhaenyra, maybe we should do the same. What do you think, love?”

Rhaenyra, who had been rubbing her temples in frustration, froze mid-motion. Her expression shifted from exasperated to murderous in seconds.

“Daemon,” she said slowly, “shut. Up.”

But Daemon only laughed, turning to Aegon with mock approval.

“I say well done. If you’re going to ruin the family name, at least do it properly.”

That’s when you appeared.

You walked into the living room, barely able to stand, moving with that telltale weakness that said everything without a single word. Your hair was a mess, your skin marked, and the oversized shirt was clearly Aegon’s.

The room fell silent.

Alicent’s face drained of all color. Aemond looked seconds away from stabbing someone. Jace? He turned around like he physically couldn’t handle this.

But it was Rhaenyra who broke first.

“Oh, for FUCK’S SAKE.”

Daemon? He just smirked harder.

“Now that,” he gestured to you, “is how you make a statement.”

Aegon grinned, absolutely reveling in their reactions, but before he could open his mouth—

Alicent threw a goblet at his head.

Tag list : @danytar @julessworldd @hangmanscoming @yazzzmints @giirlinblack @searatarg @vaelry @callsignwidow @ashblooddragons

[rose24207]

Simp sessions and sliding into DM’s

Summary: Y/N openly simps for Lando Norris during a Beta Squad video, and he surprises her by sliding into her DMs.

Genre: humor

TW: filly (?)

A/N: English is not my first language. I hope you enjoy it though! Requests are open and welcome!

Masterlist

The Beta Squad filming day was already off to a chaotic start, as usual. Cameras were rolling, the boys were bantering, and you were doing what you did best: keeping them in check while simultaneously embarrassing yourself over Lando Norris.

You were the heart of the group—a mix of sass, sarcasm, and too much energy. But when it came to Lando? You couldn’t help yourself. The guys loved it, though, because your relentless simping made for prime content.

“Alright, next challenge,” Sharky announced as the crew prepped for the next scene. “We’ve got trivia, and the loser has to wear this ridiculous chicken suit for the rest of the video.”

“I am not losing this,” Chunkz said, crossing his arms.

“You better not,” AJ quipped. “Because we already know Y/N losing the second we bring up Formula 1.”

You rolled your eyes but grinned. “Listen, I might fail general trivia, but if the question’s about Lando Norris, I’ll ace it.”

“Of course you will,” Kenny teased, smirking at the camera. “You’d probably marry him if you could.”

“Who says I wouldn’t?” you shot back, flipping your hair dramatically. Then, looking directly into the lens, you added, “Lando, if you’re watching this, hi. I’m single, funny, and an excellent cook. Call me.”

The room erupted with laughter as the guys doubled over at your boldness.

“You’re shameless!” Niko said, wiping tears from his eyes.

“Don’t act like you’re not jealous,” you retorted, pointing at him. “Lando’s a catch, and I’m just shooting my shot.”

The filming continued, but the Lando jokes didn’t stop. Every time a question remotely related to racing or McLaren came up, you’d light up like a Christmas tree.

“Which F1 team has won the most championships?” AJ read aloud during the trivia round.

“McLaren!” you shouted.

Chunkz groaned. “It’s Ferrari, you muppet.”

You pouted, ignoring the laughter and leaning into the camera again. “I tried, Lando. I swear I did. Don’t judge me.”

Unbeknownst to you, Lando was watching.

Ever since Filly introduced him to Beta Squad’s videos, he’d been a quiet fan. At first, he watched for the laughs, but after seeing you roast the boys with razor-sharp wit and your constant jokes about him, he became... intrigued.

“Mate, she’s proper funny,” Lando had told Filly after a particularly chaotic episode.

“Yeah, Y/N’s a legend,” Filly said with a grin. “You should DM her, bro. She’d lose it.”

“I don’t know,” Lando had said, trying to play it cool. But secretly, he couldn’t get the idea out of his head.

Back at the Beta Squad shoot, you were sitting on the sofa during a break, scrolling through Instagram. The guys were busy setting up for the next segment, but you were glued to your screen, giggling at Lando’s latest post.

“What’s so funny?” Chunkz asked, leaning over your shoulder.

“Nothing,” you said quickly, turning your phone away.

“Bet it’s Lando,” Sharky teased, walking past.

“Of course it is,” AJ said. “She’s been staring at her phone like it’s a picture of her future husband.”

“Leave me alone,” you said, laughing. “It’s not my fault he’s perfect.”

“Perfect at crashing,” Niko said, and you threw a cushion at him.

“Say that again, and I’ll fight you,” you warned, grinning.

Just then, Sharky’s phone buzzed, and he let out a surprised laugh. “No way.”

“What?” Chunkz asked, curious.

“Lando just posted a story. He’s watching our video.”

Your eyes widened. “Wait, what?”

The guys crowded around Sharky’s phone, and sure enough, there was Lando’s story—a clip of you dramatically declaring your love for him, with the caption: “I’m flattered. Trivia next time?”

You froze, your face burning. “Oh my god.”

“Y/N, you’ve made it!” AJ shouted, shaking your shoulders.

“Wait, this is big,” Kenny said, laughing. “What are you gonna do?”

Before you could answer, your phone buzzed. You picked it up hesitantly, and your jaw dropped.

@landonorris: Followed you.

The room went silent for about three seconds before the guys erupted into chaos.

“He followed you?!” Chunkz yelled.

“This is better than any prank we’ve ever done,” Sharky said, grinning.

“Alright, everyone, calm down!” you said, though you were anything but calm. Your heart was pounding as you opened Instagram, and sure enough, there it was—Lando’s name sitting at the top of your followers list.

“DM him!” AJ urged.

“No, wait,” Kenny said, smirking. “Let’s see if he DMs her first.”

As if on cue, another notification popped up.

Lando Norris: Hey, Y/N. Love the videos. Also, I’m offended you got the McLaren question wrong.

You let out a strangled laugh, holding up your phone. “He DMed me.”

The guys lost it again, shouting and cheering as you stared at the screen in disbelief.

“Reply!” Niko said, practically shoving you back onto the sofa.

Taking a deep breath, you typed out a response:

You: In my defense, I panicked. But thanks for watching! Let me know when you want to collab on trivia.

His reply came quickly:

Lando Norris: Deal. But only if I get to be on your team.

You couldn’t stop smiling, and the guys teased you relentlessly for the rest of the day. But for once, you didn’t care.

Because maybe, just maybe, your shameless simping was about to pay off.

Thank you for reading!

[whereslynx]

Hi, can I request one with jealous spooky x reader, and jamal and Ruby are crushing on reader, spooky gets jealous but reader thinks its funny cause both are just teenies 🥰

a/n: HAHAHAHAHA sure thing! this was fun to write. sad eyes version <—

────── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──────

⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯⎯

The afternoon heat lingered over Freeridge, the sun hanging heavy in the sky as its rays bounced off the pavement, warming the neighborhood with a golden sheen. You stood outside Oscar’s house, waiting for him to finish up inside. The heat clung to the air, but you didn’t mind—it was just another day. Leaning against Oscar’s Impala, you scrolled through your phone, trying to pass the time when you heard three familiar voices approaching behind you.

Turning around, you spotted Cesar walking up with Ruby and Jamal in tow. “Hey, Lil Spooky,” you greeted with a warm smile, reaching out to playfully ruffle Cesar’s hair. He shot you a mock glare but didn’t dodge it, grinning at your usual teasing.

“Jamal, Ruby,” you added, nodding toward the other two with a friendly smile.

Ruby stood a little straighter, his face instantly flushing red as he stared at you, clearly trying to contain his nerves. “Uh, please,” he stammered, “call me Ruben.” Cesar shot him a look, eyebrows raised as if to say, Are you really still dragging that Ruben thing?

Jamal, on the other hand, was less subtle. His eyes widened as he took you in, almost gawking. “What’s up?” Jamal asked, flashing a grin that was a little too wide, clearly attempting to impress you. His gaze flicked from your face down to your outfit, and back up again, like he was in awe.

Cesar chuckled at Jamal’s antics, shaking his head, but you just smiled, amusement dancing in your eyes. It was hard not to find the whole thing funny—especially knowing Oscar would probably roll his eyes at Jamal and Ruby’s little crushes on you. But it was harmless, and you weren’t about to make things weird for the boys.

“Nothing,” you answered, biting back a giggle at their awkward behavior, “just waiting for a certain someone to hurry up.” You threw a playful shade Cesar’s way, referring to his brother still being inside. “It’s Oscar, what do you expect?” Cesar laughed, nudging you lightly with his shoulder. His relaxed energy was a stark contrast to Ruby and Jamal, who seemed to be trying hard—too hard, actually.

Ruby cleared his throat, shifting his stance awkwardly. “So, uh… you like… cars?” he asked, gesturing to the Impala like it was a conversation starter. Jamal, not to be outdone, quickly jumped in. “Yeah, yeah! Or, uh… maybe you’re into… stars?” he added with an exaggerated hand gesture towards the sky, even though it was broad daylight.

You stared at them, trying not to laugh outright at their painfully awkward attempts at flirting. They looked so out of their depth, it was kind of adorable. “Please,” you smirked, shaking your head. “Y’all are babies. I’m old enough to be your tía.”

Ruby, eyes wide with sudden inspiration, puffed out his chest. “Well… I could be your baby,” he said, sounding more confident than he looked, though his face was turning beet red.

Cesar snorted, giving Ruby a side-eye. “You sure you wanna get at Oscar’s girl?” he asked, amused but also low-key warning him with a raised brow.

Jamal, always the bold one, stepped forward. “Well, I don’t see him!” he declared, spreading his arms dramatically. “Clearly, he ain’t treasuring you as much as I would!”

Before you could even respond, a familiar voice cut through the air like a smooth knife. “Oh yeah?” Oscar’s voice rumbled from behind them, causing Ruby and Jamal to freeze in their tracks like guilty kids caught sneaking snacks.

Oscar strolled out of the house, hands in his pockets, with a slow, almost predatory smile tugging at the corners of his lips. “I ain’t treasuring her enough, huh?” His eyes flicked between Ruby and Jamal, clearly enjoying their sudden panic. He gave Cesar a quick dap before sliding an arm around your waist, pulling you closer.

Jamal, wide-eyed but still trying to save face, stammered, “W-Well, I just meant—uh—y’know—hypothetically—”

Oscar chuckled, squeezing your waist affectionately. “Hypothetically, you two should stop flirting with my girl before you end up doing her laundry for a week.” Ruby gulped, muttering, “Please call me Ruben…” under his breath as Cesar shook his head, barely containing his laughter.

You leaned into Oscar, smirking at the whole situation. “Told y’all, babies,” you teased, poking Jamal’s arm playfully.

“Well, I don’t see y’all getting outta here,” Oscar said, his voice dripping with playful menace. “I’m guessing you do wanna do her shit, huh?” Though his tone was teasing, you knew how those boys worked—anything Spooky said, they took it seriously.

Ruby’s eyes went wide, his confidence crumbling. “No, no, Mr. Oscar, we’ll be on our way!” he blurted, grabbing Jamal by the shirt and practically dragging him along. Jamal barely had time to protest as Ruby sped-walked down the sidewalk, both of them desperately trying to put as much distance between themselves and Oscar as possible.

Oscar watched them go, amusement lighting up his face. He looked back at Cesar, who was still standing there, shaking his head at the whole scene. “Tell your lil homies to stay away from my girl, aight?” Oscar said, a smug smirk playing on his lips. Cesar chuckled, shrugging as if this wasn’t the first time he’d seen Ruby and Jamal talk themselves into trouble. “They just don’t listen,” he exclaimed, shaking his head before jogging off to catch up with the pair, who had already managed to scare themselves around the corner of the block.

You laughed, playfully slapping Oscar’s chest. “You’re cruel, they’re only just babies,” you exclaimed with a grin, still amused by how quickly Ruby and Jamal had fled. Oscar raised an eyebrow, his arms wrapping around your waist as he pulled you closer. “Babies or not, they better know whose girl you are,” he teased, leaning in to press a soft kiss to your forehead. “Can’t have them thinking they got a shot.”

“Please,” you chuckled, looking up at him, “they wouldn’t know what to do with me even if they tried. You saw how they panicked.”

Oscar smirked, his fingers tracing lazy patterns on your back. “Yeah, but I saw how you handled it. Making them nervous with that smile of yours, huh?” He teased. You rolled your eyes, leaning into his embrace. “Oh, so now it’s my fault?”

“It’s always your fault,” he teased, kissing the top of your head before letting his hands fall to your hips. “But that’s why I keep you around.”

“Oh, is that right?” you laughed, giving him a playful shove before stepping out of his hold. “Maybe I’ll start hanging out with them more, see what happens.” You shot back with a smug smile, clearly joking. Oscar let out a dramatic scoff, “You wouldn’t dare.” he grumbled. You grinned at his mock outrage, your laughter filling the quiet street as the sun continued its lazy descent over Freeridge, casting long, golden shadows around you both.

[butchvampireheimerdinger]

the butchfemme sevika post was so cute!!! what about sevika or vi with a femme who's very forward about all their feelings and lowkey shameless

A/N: Thanks! I ended up having to split this into two posts teehee Here’s the one I wrote for Sevika (also with mob wife vibes. I was in a mafia mood when I wrote these if you couldn’t tell)

Pairing: Butch!Pitfighter!Vi X Flirty, femme, and filthy rich!reader who’s sort of a mob princess type

Warnings: Pretty SFW, brief mentions of sex, violence, alcohol, cussing.

You Were Born Tough

By ButchVampireHeimerdinger

⚠︎ Vi is the type of young butch with a lot of audacity, just to get that out of the way

⚠︎ She loves to be the forward one and when you start matching her energy it would get her heart pumping and her palms would start to sweat a lil

⚠︎ Ok basically she’s pit fighter Vi and your family runs the fight club (you have so much dirty money like it’s disgusting. Mob princess baby of the family asf)

⚠︎ But one day a certain pink haired pit fighter captures your eye. You start sitting in the front every time she fights, ogling her cause violence is hot

⚠︎ She notices you and it distracts her enough that she gets her shit ROCKED

⚠︎ But she holds it in for another round and in between people are adjusting their bets. It’s stacking up against her crazily. but suddenly you drop a huge stack on her to win. Over the bet limit but the rules don’t rly apply to you.

⚠︎ She’s like. Floored. and musters up the nerve to go up to your spot in the stands and see what that was all about. She doesn’t know who you are at first, just that she’s seen you before (and would like to see more of you.)

⚠︎ You lean forward on the barricade looking down at her. You cock your head like a fox all curious, and she speaks first:

“So you like to lose money, huh?”

“I like to live fast. And…” You look side to side dramatically as if making sure no one’s listening.

“I have a secret talent.” You beckon her closer and whisper in her ear while gently bracing her shoulder, One of ur moves.

“I can tell, from the first round, the difference between a regular street-thug-bruiser type and a mothafucking champion.” That gets her ego going fosho.

“That’s a bold statement, Princess. Sure you wanna stake your reputation on that? Matter of fact, I’d like to see it in writing.” You let out a cute tinkling little princess laugh.

“Flex for me?” You ask. She obliges, confused but intrigued. You pull out an ink pen from your little designer purse that has a chihuahua inside. The pen is the pink furry kind with a big ass plume. On her bicep in curly cursive print you write:

I, the official supreme dictator of mothafucking champions, hereby declare this here dyke the holy asskicker of the undercity — and may Janna herself strike me down if I am wrong.

You adorn it with hearts and stars because she’s so gothy and serious looking that it looks a little funny.

“You’re quite the artist.”

“I’m actually on my way to the Met after this. Maybe I’ll bring you along, Knuckles. My masterpiece.”

“Gonna sign your work?” She still doesn’t know your name.

You reapply the red lippie you’ve got in ur dog purse and press ur lips to her bicep right under your “contract.” Your “signature.”

“Go kick some ass.” You gesture with your head to the announcer, who is signaling the start of the next round.

And that drives her insane. Like she’s so fired up she could fight god.

⚠︎ Needless to say, she absolutely does kick ass. You take in so much coin and as she looks at you collecting your earnings, you’re fanning yourself with stacks of cash.

⚠︎ She looks for you afterward, you’ve long departed. She finds you at a bar/restaurant: the place a lot of the fighters, their sponsors, and other important people in the pit fighting sphere frequent after the fights. It’s the “upscale” lounge for Zaunites. You’re at a table alone with an espresso martini and she sits down all confident.

⚠︎ Three big dudes immediately stand up all threatening. She’s thinking oh shit, who is this girl? and you signal to your goons it’s all fine.

⚠︎ She puts on the moves, puffing her chest. You put on the moves, touching her arm, paying more attention to your reflection in ur compact than to her. She finds it intimidating. And hot.

⚠︎ Somehow the idea that you become her official sponsor comes up. You get one of ur goons to get a contract out and as you sign it with that ridiculous pen she sees your last name and it clicks. She’s thinking what the hell did I just get myself into?

⚠︎ You’re at all her fights. You do her makeup because her goth thing is a little overdone. Your touch is delicate as you apply it, just you two alone. It helps her game, honestly — a moment of peace before the rumble.

⚠︎ You’re on the sides watching her in your usual spot and she just kinda glows under ur gaze.

⚠︎ She’s referred to as your creature, your Frankenstein (yeah Frankenstein’s the doctor ik but I think it’s unlikely that either of you would both know and care enough to correct them.)

⚠︎ You wipe her sweat with a towel and encourage her in between the rounds.

“Don’t embarrass me out there, Knuckles.”

⚠︎ You’re touchy and it makes every other woman highkey scared to approach her. Rumors fly around that yall r fucking on the side. You do nothing to dispel them.

⚠︎ It’s all fun and games for a while and you’ve got her thinking what are we? do you just act like this with everyone? Is this all in my head?

⚠︎ It’s after a particularly bad match, the worst in a while. Instead of going to that upscale place, you decide to slum it and follow her to The Last Drop. Everyone notices your presence, u just have a kinda way about you. You find it charming there.

⚠︎ You lean over her shoulder as she chats with the people she grew up with. Someone asks what’s the deal with you two. You theoretically have the balls to take control of the situation and tell her what’s up, but you wanna see her squirm. And you wanna hear it from her.

⚠︎ You look at her like what r u gonna say, Slick? Expectantly, like a challenge. A challenge that she then fails.

“Gentlemen, my sponsor.” She gives them the professional explanation. You’re disappointed.

“If you’ll excuse me gentlemen, I have some business to attend to. As you know, Violet’s career is my main concern — my only concern, matter of fact.”

⚠︎ You shove an envelope of stuff for her to look at into her chest and give her an overly friendly and utterly sarcastic pat on the back + death glare combo as she takes it. Then you pick up the tab and strut out of the bar, goons close behind. One of them helps you into your flashy mink coat. The bar dudes don’t know what the deal is, but they know Vi just screwed something up. And they let her know it, punching her shoulder and shoving her around all bro-ey.

⚠︎ She thumbs through the envelope that night, feeling shitty. Just stats and numbers, boring legal shit for her to sign her name under yours. There’s that curly signature with a lipstick mark.

⚠︎ She shows up at your place the next day to go over the match and practice a bit in your basement gym as usual. She finds you in the grand office you use, used to belong to your late father. Your legs are crossed, leaning backward, redbottoms kicked up on the desk. Her practice gloves are there on the desk and she goes for them, but you stop her with a long leg to her chest, pointy heel looking kinda threatening. She goes to say something, you silence her with a subtle gesture with your index finger, long red nail freshly painted.

“What exactly is your goal here, Vi? Gonna become the greatest pit fighter of all time? Gonna keep swinging until you’re set for life? Or until something happens to you?

Of course not. You haven’t even thought for a second about the future, about anything serious. You clearly don’t even want this anymore, you blew your shares on crypto scams and a flashy car. And you don’t even seem to care that you’ve been falling behind in the ring — Anyone ever tell you that you block with your face?"

Again, she tries to respond, thinking that you’re trying to pick a fight. Again, you cut her off.

"Vi, dealing with pitfighters for the rest of my sorry life was never my plan.”

“…What are you saying?”

“I’m saying it’s clearly not about the money or the game anymore. This is about you and me. You’re not stupid enough to not have noticed what’s happening between us. But I won’t chase you by myself. I picked you out that day because I hate cowards, and I believed in you. Don’t prove me wrong.”

⚠︎ That gives her the fire she needs to hop onto the desk and kiss you, slow n deep, bracing the top of the swivel chair you’re in.

⚠︎ So Vi eventually gives up pit fighting for the resistance, which had kicked up in recent months. And the news about her father kept her busy — kept her teeth intact as well.

⚠︎ You use your wealth for the resistance as well, and you use your connections to offer Zaunites a refuge from the gas.

⚠︎ You guys become a power couple. When everything goes down, you’re passed over for the council seat in favor of Sevika. No hard feelings though, you’re still a little green and far too unpredictable to be cut out for Topside politics.

⚠︎ But you hold it down in the Undercity, with your beloved brawler by your side. Sometimes she likes to hang out, lift weights and punch the hanging bags of flour in your basement gym. And you ogle her like you’re seeing her for the first time, kicking ass in the ring.

⚠︎ Nicknames for you include “my girl,” “my lady,” “my femme” of course. You like when she calls you “my darling,” it means she’s in an especially good mood (though she never calls you that in public lol)

⚠︎ And you like to leave your signature kiss marks all over her. She wears them with pride.

Fin

[eamour]

appropiate what's yours.

we know we can manifest our dream lives, have your desires, yadda yadda yadda… but can you actually do it? see, the ability to manifest is something we all possess. but the willingness to actually act on that is something that some people may need practice in.

to desire and to decide.

to have a desire is easy. we all do, eventually. nevertheless, to claim a desire as yours and appropriate it as such is a whole other step. it requires you to be bold, decisive and focused on what you want to manifest. if you have no problem demanding and accepting things you want to have to be yours, that’s 1 good for you and 2 you are free to either skip this post or read along.

all states belong to you.

now, for those who still need a bit of assistance: you need to learn to declare things as yours. it is of importance to become comfortable in your mind and to realise that any desire, any state, and any feeling is accessible to you. they all belong to you and you shall act like it. there is truly nothing embarrassing, haughty or delusional about it.

the only creator of mind.

see, no one's gonna steal your desires from you. no one's going to say "no" and call you out for wanting things without earning or deserving them. in fact, no one could ever get in your way because they don’t have the free will to do so. people are just you pushed out, a reflection of your imagination, a physical embodiment of what has once only existed imaginatively. and that means… the only person who could possibly interfere with your plans is you. again, nothing and no one outside of you exists.

the mind is limitless.

in case no one has told you, your mind is actually yours! it belongs to you! so USE it. this may come off as a little funny since it’s quite self-explanatory but you are allowed to think the thoughts you desire to think, to feel the feelings you'd like to feel, to decide how your reality should look like according to your personal preference and accept it as such. it's all up to you because your mind is yours. i can’t get in there and tell you what to think of. i can't stop you. and i certainly can’t tell you "no, this is impossible/unrealistic/illogical to manifest".

don't wish, just be.

don’t tell me who you don’t want to be. don’t tell me what you wish, hope or pray to be. instead, tell me who you are. what is it that you want to have? what is it that you want to experience? how would you want your life to look like? whatever it is that you want — if you know what it is — appropriate it. stop holding yourself back by only desiring things. stop stopping yourself. we all have desires we would want to make a reality, so go further.

it is now yours, only.

take it. it’s yours. you have given it to yourself. it’s done. i cannot take it from you, your sp cannot do it either, nor does anyone have the power to remove anything from you what you have already identified with. if you say it’s yours, baby, then it has no other choice but to be yours …

with love, ella.