#but I genuinely don’t think I have the ability to because of how badly I self sabotage

[drowninginthoughts27]

Not to vent but I think my biggest fear is failure but I’m also like so set up for it. Self sabotage is all I know.

[nocturneofrecollection]

I think mostly car culture but also the internet has irreparably stunted people’s ability and care to drive well it’s insane how many people will openly brag about being a dangerous driver like it’s fun and quirky and not something that gets people killed in the thousands every year. Some laws are unjust but i promise you distracted driving and speeding laws are there for a reason not just to make your day a teeeeny bit harder

[cooki3face]

how people see you ⭐️

disclaimer: these messages may not be for everyone, spirit seems to be talking to very specific collectives of people tonight!! Take what resonates leave what doesn’t on this one. 🖤

i.

I see someone whose really friendly or has many friends here. Some of you could even be someone whom many people consider to be their friend whether or not you reciprocate that energy or not. Like I’m hearing you’re a genuine person and you’re a friend to everyone, often times even the people you despise, you still find compassion and understanding for them. I’m even hearing that there may be people who really envy you or who really dislike you but they couldn’t truly dislike you even if they tried because they admire you so much. I’m also hearing there may be people in your energy especially old friends or people you no longer speak to who admire you so much that they may speak badly about you to others because it offends them or hurts them that they don’t have access to you anymore.

People see you as really healing and someone who puts most of their energy into realigning themselves with their higher purpose when you feel you’re being led astray or are ungrounded and unorganized. There may be people who are attracted to you for the healing qualities you exude and for the types of energy and love you send towards people. You could be someone who believes that even when they’re not in communication with those they love most that they’re always praying for them or watching over them. People desire to be prayed for by you. People are envious of those who you hold very dear to your heart because it’s very few. People are very flattered and feel very honored and special when they’re well liked by you or they’re someone you think about or send any of your love to. Im hearing people love to be loved by you.

People who know you see you deeply and even people who know you on the surface see you to be a very passionate and driven person. You’re someone who puts your all into everything you do, you always put your best foot forward. I’m hearing “she’s always preforming” like everything you do is effortless but it has the quality of a broadway production. People are watching you. People love to watch you. Their waiting on the edge of their seats to see what’s going to happen next. You’re a star ⭐️. And when there is a delay the show must always go on and so it does.

I’m hearing people love to be taken care of by you or you give off very nurturing energy. You are mother. You carry very mothering energy within you. I’m also getting you can give off sugar mommy vibes 💀 you could have a love language of giving and receiving gifts and you love to be spoiled and taken care of but when you really love someone and adore someone you like to shower them in gifts and people crave being in that position. They want to be taken care of by you, loved by you, spoiled by you. Men in your life or women or whomever you date or are attracted to may get really excited about the idea of you gifting them something because they feel that is a very high representation of how much you love and admire them. I’m hearing “if he/she gifted me something I’d pass out.”

People see you as a very disciplined individual like you see the magic in hard work and dedication I’m getting and people really value your work ethic and your ability to get down to the nitty gritty and really take over the whole entire show with your expertise or your capabilities. I’m also getting that people view you as a very long term partner and a large investment. Not just financially but emotionally and spiritually. People often feel they’re not good enough for you and if they wanted to be with you they’d have to work very hard to get in your good graces or even get you to look in their direction. You give very high status, five-star hottie energy.

There are many people who feel you’re destined for success or like you’re set to have a bright future in whatever you do as well. Like if this was a year book you’d get most likely to become famous or most likely to be successful.

There are people who say you’re very intuitive and all knowing pile one. You may pride yourself in your intuition or be some type of psychic or spiritual individual here. Many of you are divine beings living a human experience. The universe, the divine is within you. The universe is your mother. I’m hearing direct descendant. Some of you are star-seeds as well.

The people say you love and value yourself very much. You are unwavering and when presented with something or someone you know you don’t want and won’t accept there’s no breaking your walls down or talking you into having it because you’re so decided and intentional about everything you accept into your space I’m getting here. This is why people feel they aren’t deserving of you or like they’d have to work very hard to get your attention and your love. You’re everyone’s wish fulfillment. Anyone would love to have you. Like I’m hearing you could go anywhere, you could travel across many seas and find more than one person who would love to keep you, who would love to hold you, to smell you, to speak to you, to LOOK at you. You attract so much love. People are drawn to you. You’re magnetic.

***

ii.

lol um people often see you as very impulsive, unfocused and burnt out in life pile two. They sense tired energy from you or an air of depression and sadness here I’m getting. They could see you as someone who isn’t very financially successful either as well as someone who is very obsessed with status or very occupied with being accepted by people and who deeply desires to desired and wanted by others. I’m hearing “she/he just wants to be included.” Or “she/is just happy to be here.” Like you may go and hang out with people you don’t know or find yourself in weird and odd environments and situations, half the time you don’t know what’s going on, who those people are or how you ended up there but you’re just chilling out enjoying the warmth of human interaction.

They see you as someone emotionally detached or even unstable at times as well. You could be someone who heavily represses their emotions and may turn to bad habits or have very sporadic and unpredictable moments and behaviors. I’m hearing people often secretly hold a lot of compassion for you even though you may not be well liked or you may be someone who doesn’t have the best reputation. I see someone who may get in a lot of alterations or who may have conflict with people around them or may have grown up in a place where the people there made them an outcasts or didn’t accept them well.

I see people wondering whether to extend their care to you or to just leave you alone. Im hearing people talk about you or there may be rumors or ideas going around about what you’re like to be around or what you’re like in your personal relationships whether they be platonic or romantic and people believe you to be destructive or a heavy energy to remain around and this may lead people to avoid you or not involve themselves with you out of fear you’ll be a lot to handle. People could also see you as very unlucky and stagnant, resistant to change. Someone who doesn’t improve and won’t improve or won’t change because they don’t want to. They feel as though you have very scattered energy as well.

But I don’t see this continuing to be the case for very long pile two. You may be someone with a very trivial past here with a lot of different experiences that may have shaped you into the person these people see but this seven of pentacles upright leads me to believe that you are changing and you’re putting in the time and the energy to shift your own energy and heal. I see your mind healing, I see you finding some mental clarity and peace after a lot of inner turmoil, anxiety, depression, etc. you could be really smart as well. But there’s this energy that people only feel your pain and sense your trauma yet they don’t see you for who you really are and who you’re meant to become. The tower card in reverse is all the confirmation we need pile two. You are undergoing a transformation and your life is changing and people will begin to see you differently when you step into yourself finally and find some inner peace.

***

iii.

People see you as someone who goes through lots of ups and downs in life or someone who is constantly changing throughout the seasons. You could be someone who is really into social media or you share what’s happening a lot on social media, on a spam account, on an Instagram story, on Snapchat, etc. lol but I’m seeing just like like two some people see you as someone who is very impulsive and unfocused in life and in love as well. You could be someone who parties a lot, who indulges in a lot of things, who kind of lives life on a whim, talks to multiple people or invests their time in flirting or dating multiple people. You could be someone who sleeps till mid day or till the evening and goes out at night and does it all over again I’m getting. You may not also have a decided career path or a goal in life as well and people who know you or know of you see you as someone who doesn’t invest a lot of time in their future or in improving their lives you kind of just roll with the punches and girl boss your way through life.

The people see you as someone very flighty, someone who can’t sit still or is always moving around, always doing something, or up to something new. Some people may also consider you to be somewhat untrustworthy and deceptive lol or even manipulative and cunning. You may gossip a lot or may be someone who sort of mingles in multiple friend groups or spends time around people who don’t have good reputations or who are involved in a lot of drama or conflict all on their own and you may or may add to this drama and conflict but I’m getting that a good handful of you do whether you do it on purpose or on accident. You may go ghost a lot too or fall off the face of the earth occasionally as well. I’m hearing you have very high highs and very low lows and when you’re really low you sort of just disappear as a coping mechanism.

The people think or say that you have very unhealed feminine energy. Especially if you’re a woman but this can go both ways if you’re a man too. People perceive you to be insecure, manipulative, emotionally immature or unstable and incapable of making safe and wise decisions or creating a safe space for those around you whether that be emotionally or even physically. People may also believe that your kindness is performative and that you being nice to them or you exuding a nice energy is not always authentic. You may be someone who keeps their enemies very close or puts on certain facades rather than being overly honest and authentic. You may attract people who use you for validation or may put you in tricky or difficult emotional and physical positions due to the energy you give out or push out towards the world.

People also perceive you to be someone who lives in the past primarily or holds heavy grudges towards others even if you won’t admit it and you may have a tendency to hold negative energy towards others or subconsciously send them evil eye when they aren’t connected to you any longer because you hold onto things that they’ve done that may have made you feel betrayed or undervalued whether or not that’s really what happened or not. People see you as a very emotionally driven person as well. Overly consumed by emotions or sensitive.

***

lol I’m very sorry cause some of these messages are definitely not things people want to hear.. but I may tell a joke but I’ve never been known to tell a lie so- take what resonates and leave what doesn’t. I know how y’all like to tussle 😭😭

[vigilskeep]

can you talk about misinterpretations of wynne and zevran's dynamic??? i'm chewing on your analysis

i think it’s a very basic case of people simply taking what is said at face value, in a way that comes up a lot with your classic zevran misinterpretations and uhhh oversimplifications. zevran and wynne’s banters are full of his classic exaggerated flirtations. all of their banters hinge on this joke and they’re very funny. but i’m always mildly stunned when i see people taking that as... zevran actually literally just being horny AGSHSKKSKS

i don’t think people give zevran enough credit for how clever he is at dancing around the other companions. nobody ever really gets one up on him. i can think of one specific instance in banter where i do think something gets under his skin, which i think oghren of all people manages essentially by accident the one time he’s actually not really trying

anyway: wynne opens their first banter with “you must know that murder is wrong, i assume.” it’s very wynne; she makes a judgement and announces it as fact. zevran is slightly stunned by this and also how funny it is: “i’m sorry... are you speaking to me?” with this incredible disbelieving pause because, like, he’s the party assassin. but he’s also playing for time quickly on how to react to this out of nowhere. wynne then explains the simple narrative she’s constructed that joining the party is due to a crisis of conscience on zevran’s part about being an assassin. and zevran immediately jumps into exaggerated agreement, and once he gets a better idea, the first of his flirtations with her, until she gives up in exasperation. it’s an evasion tactic zevran is very, very good at and has been doing to you, the player, since his first appearance on screen. he wants to play on the characters he performs when they’re useful shields, whether it’s the victim or the flirt or what have you. but also always with that ironic air that he’s clearly doing a bit; there’s the charm of letting you in on a private joke, but also he needs everything to be a faintly ridiculous game to him, so he doesn’t have to be affected

zevran keeps this joke up for the full extent of his banters with wynne through the whole game, because he finds it wildly entertaining, of course, and because he has no interest in ever inviting the conversation she wants. he so badly doesn’t want to deal with her asking this that he decides to run this bit into the GROUND, and starts doing it pre-emptively to ward her off even after she stops trying to instigate the conversation. bc wynne may be a good way off the mark, and, ironically for someone wanting zevran to take this seriously, not able to imagine that his life and feelings may be more complex than assumed (absolutely classic spirit behaviour once again), but she is needling at his reasons for leaving the crows, which is the last thing wants to be honest with anyone about

making the assumption that zevran is flirting with wynne out of genuine interest is, to me, the same mistake as thinking zevran when you first meet the warden is flirting out of genuine interest. this is how he knows to stay alive. if he let his guard down, he’d be dead; if he wasn’t charming, he’d be dead; and if he ever stopped to dwell instead of being the “eternal optimist”, always instinctually grasping at one more chance to live another day, he’d be very, very dead. he’s not going to casually discuss vulnerabilities for someone else’s peace of mind and he definitely doesn’t have the kind of insecurity to need to explain himself to people who don’t know him or what they’re talking about. so, rogue evasion abilities activate! it’s time for him to dodge! which is what he spends the entire series of banters doing. but also he’s just still finding it funny throughout. she just gives him so much ammunition. it’s like taking candy from a baby. zevran loves an old and terrible joke repeated for several months solid, they age like wine to him

i also think wynne’s comments are a light jab at how zevran does get read by players. he’s not ashamed of being an assassin. there’s this great line in one of his dialogues with the warden that asks why he shouldn’t continue to do what he’s good at when so few have come by his skills “honestly”, as he believes he has. there’s a tendency to characterise him and characters like him as, ah, the guilt-ridden victim in need of a pure-hearted saviour to show him the light, etc etc, but that’s never been who he is. there’s no ending where he suddenly quits being an assassin lmao

[hana-no-seiiki]

CHAINSAW & HAPPINESS

PILL 3 - GREAT GENESIS / GENESIS DEI

YANDERE! CSM! VARIOUS x STOIC! READER

“Check it out. These are my kids.”

“Oh yeah? Check out my kids.”

“That’s just Denji and Power . . .”

“Exactly.”

CAUTIONS: Spoilers for the Manga. Yandere Themes. Chainsawman Themes. Religious Themes. God uses he/him pronouns.

INGREDIENTS: You reminisce about the past and think about what lies ahead in your future. Denji gets his ass almost eaten by Batman- I mean a Bat Devil. Power.

FORMULATION: horridly unedited

[previous dose] [pillbox] [next dose]

You’ve hated humanity since the moment of your conception.

One might argue it was baked into your existence as a devil, simply etched into your heart the moment you popped out of hell, but you couldn’t agree with that notion at all.

It was just how persistent they were with survival and self-preservation that whatever your peers do to oppress them, torture their very souls, devour their physical being, they still manage to cling unto hope.

They were like cockroaches, ones with wings and the unending urge to fly towards your face like if they ever stopped they’d die.

Humans don’t hate cockroaches when they’re born, just like how you don’t hate humans when you were created. You merely saw them as pests you’d rather have gone. At least, that’s what you thought.

It was when you met Makima that you realized it wasn’t hatred you were feeling. It was envy.

You were envious of how they managed to find the grit to move forward. Of how they’re able to shake off tragedies and get stronger.

Unlike you, who had stayed stagnant for as long as you’ve remembered. Too scared to ever go out of line and potentially lose everything you already had.

As the God Devil, you were both one of the strongest and the weakest devils there existed.

Many feared your name, sure. But people found God equally, if not moreso, a comfort through trying times. God was their salvation, no matter how invisible, or inactive he was in their battles. Humanity continued to pray in his name, your name.

But slowly, but surely, faith began to disappear. And your powers began to grow.

You never believed in Makima’s goals. Nor do you believed in her feelings towards you to be genuine. You fully know that she’s using you for her desire; a family and most importantly the eradication of everything bad in this world. Her jealousy was probably based on the fact that she saw you more as a possession, a precious tool than a real partner.

You see, much like the Chainsaw Devil’s ability to erase concepts from this world, you also had a few unique abilities of your own. The ability to remember everything in the course of humanity’s life on Earth. Even the parts the “Hero of Hell” removed and bring it back to existence. Your head was akin to an infinite book, you nicknamed ‘The Bible’.

Where the Chainsaw Devil was the definition of chaos and destruction, you represented peace and life.

And you loathed that. Despised how different you were from other devils. Detested the thought that you were anything but an avatar of fear.

In any case, amalgams were one of the examples of things you’ve partly brought back to the world. It’s original name seemingly inaccessible even to your hands. Though it was mostly done as an excuse for you to use your powers whenever, you had a feeling Makima thought of Denji and Pochita when asking you to revive those mongrels. Or may be not. Makima was confusing and mysterious that way.

You didn’t pry much into her plans. Only ever preparing yourself for the shitstorms her actions cause and brave through it.

But now curiosity ate at you like leech. Why was she allowing Denji so close to you like that? Was it truly because she wants to play him like a fiddle?

Why did the thought of her hurting him hurt you so badly?

“You’re going to break it.”

Angel poked your nose. His touch, with how rare he gave out, almost broke your seemingly invincible composure.

“The weapon. Don’t. It’s such a hassle to make one.”

“My apologies.” You said, as you crushed the sword Angel made within your hands. Expression devoid from your features.

The latter sighed, you were as insufferable as ever.

“Could you stop being so polite and rigid? It’s gross.”

“You know I can’t use casual language in front of them. To the committee, you’re a demon and I’m . . . ” You were about to say ‘one of them’ but you couldn’t shake the sense of otherness you’d feel whenever you were with your colleagues. It wasn’t as if they viewed you as an outcast per se, just that they seemed so nervous all the time. Which led to you avoiding contact especially during battle. You weren’t oblivious to how humans viewed and often worshipped you, you just didn’t know the extent your powers affected them. Especially those who have known you for quite a while.

And so Makima helped by pairing you with beings who are usually unaffected by your aura. At least, on the surface.

“Still. I’d prefer if you went back to how you were before.”

You knew Angel before you even met Makima, as what the two of you represented were both closely related. Despite that, your relationship remained symbiotic at most. Angel’s weapons worked best when wielded by you, and you were capable of taking away his memories and ‘sins’ thus making the number of voices in his head less burdensome. None of you made an effort to go beyond that.

Your Bible ability allowed you to remember everything even beyond your current incarnation.

But Angel knew that while you will remember him if you ever died, the emotions attached to said memories will surely disappear.

He’ll remain that, just a memory. He was content with that. In fact, that’s why Makima trusted him enough with you.

“Charismatic? Proud? A perfect example of what it is to be a devil?”

“An asshat.” Angel munched on the human blood sausage you prepared him. Well, the sausage Makima forced you to make as to fulfill your ‘wifely’ duties, that you gave to Angel since you disliked the taste of it. “But a predictable one.” His androgynous voice came out muffled as he basically scarfed down the piece of meat

“It’s fine to admit that you’re a masochist, Angel.”

“If I’m a masochist—“ He squeezed on the barbecue stick holding the sausage, about to give you the rebuttal of the century (or so he thinks) until your husband unfortunately arrived to the scene.

Oh right! Did I mention you and Angel were atop a massive pile of human and devil corpses? I didn’t? Huh, my bad. Kinda hard remembering to say that stuff when the stench is awfully, well, awful.

“I’m sorry to cut your reunion short, but your new team requires your supervision.” Makima’s signature calm and collected voice slices viciously between your conversation. You can sense the underlying malice from a mile away at this point.

“You want me to stalk your hero from the shadows again.”

Makima didn’t reply, but her usual eerie smile said a thousand words. She didn’t like you getting too close to humans. Sure, it was fine for them to cling unto hope that you’ll ever notice them, it was fun seeing the light disappearing from their eyes as they find out such a thing will never happen. But you indulging your supposed dogs with more than a glance killed her.

In other words, if she was like that with humans, she was the worst — absolutely abhorred — you making conversation with another one of your kind.

To her, humans will never be threats. Devils on the other hand . . .

Well, she supposes even they don’t stand a chance. But she preferred knowing that even without her powers, you were all hers.

She trusted Angel, sure, but she’ll never like seeing her wife with someone else.

“Well then, underling. I will see you soon.”

“I hope not.” Angel blew a strand of hair off his face. He’s had enough of your presence already. Too much and he’ll build up an appetite for it.

“So . . . Sea Cucumber Devil, huh?” You started. Your silent appearance startled Denji and caused him to almost fall off the rooftop, if it weren’t for you catching him by the wrist in time.

Yeah, you weren’t really good at starting conversations.

“[Y-[Y-[Y/N]—! I mean —“ Denji stared at the connected skin. It had only just been a day, and he was already back to acting like hormonal teen who’d never been touched around you.

“C’mere.” You pulled him towards your form. His face landed on your chest, turning awfully red. After making sure he wasn’t falling anymore, you propped his legs over your left arm and carried him bridal style.

You landed on the ground following a single jump. Your heels (courtesy of Makima’s thinly veiled threats) clicking loudly.

You looked at Denji and smiled.

Then dropped him on the massive purple disarray.

“G-god . . ?” The girl, with peach-blonde hair and horns known as ‘Power’ from the info debriefed to you, halted her maniacal laughter. Her mouth opened up in shock and a little bit of horror? Could she sense you were . . . no she couldn’t. Makima wouldn’t allow a newbie to know.

“Close enough.” You shrugged. You had to discuss this with your spouse later. Spotting a bench behind Power, you made your way past her. A cool chill crawled up her spine, who were you? You felt like that devil but at the same time you were nothing like them at all. Not to mention you weren’t as stuck up as she remembered. . .

Nah, they wouldn’t help humans. You were probably a phony of some sort.

“So, what happened?” You sat down, holding off the cringe on your face that threatened to show from unhygienic everything is. Maybe Aki’s ways were rubbing off on you.

They began blaming eachother, clearly not aware that you were there for the latter half of your journey and only gave them an opportunity to explain themselves rather than point fingers.

“You know I can’t stop Makima if she so chooses to punish you two, right?”

“Please don’t tell her!”

“Yeah, this won’t happen again. We promise!”

“I have a feeling it will.” You sighed.

“If I’m correct . . .” You stood up from the bench, and gave your behind a few pats to relieve it of dust and whatever filthy things people have put there. You looked to Power, narrowing your eyes at the way she flinched away, “Your reason for being cooperative with humans is because you want your cat back.”

“And you, aside from being paired with me, want a chance to touch someone’s breasts, am I wrong?” You turned to Denji.

“No, you aren—“

“You were not given permission to speak, dog.” You glared at him. Though your expressions softened the moment he almost whimpered at your harsh words.

Not knowing that was him preventing a moan of pleasure.

“Why don’t we make a contract per se, right now?Denji, you get to touch Power’s boobs as long as you’re able to procure her Meowy.” You grabbed his hands, hovered it over your chest for a couple of moments, and observed his face. He was absolutely drooling.

You retracted your hold and swiveled your head to Power’s direction, taking laid-back, slow steps.

“And, if you two come back in one piece and with no casualities. I’ll join your next mission and prevent this . . . “ You bent your torso to the side in order to look past the pair and unto the purple sludge and multitude of organs on the street. “Mishap from reaching Ms. Makima’s ears. Is it a deal?”

“Deal!” Power nodded repeatedly, fist clenched in excitement. A stark contrast to her almost aloof personality with Denji.

“Good.” You flicked your finger, and in just a moment, every part of the Sea Cucumber Devil’s corpse disappeared. “Try not to disappoint. Makima has big plans for the two of you.”

Denji and Power left, not before gawking at your unintentional show of prowess.

“They’re gone. You meeting with those prunes again?” Speak of the devil and she shall come. You rotated your body to see what’s behind you, unsurprisingly spotting Makima.

“You jealous?”

“I am. Very.”

“You were listening in on us?”

“I just want to know what my husband is up to. Can’t I miss you?”

“You can.” Makima stepped in front of you, leaning close to your face to take a kiss. However, you covered the lower half of her face before she could get too close.

The two of you hear a car arrive not long after, with an Aki Hayakawa inside of it, “Ms. Makima. Mx. [Y/N].”

He escorted you and Makima to her destination and then brought you to a cafe to order some drinks.

You looked around for any pests, and checked if background noise’s volume was loud enough to drown out your voices before you began, “You’re wondering why too, aren’t you?”

“You . . . are surprisingly sharp when it comes to some things [Y/N].”

“I’m not quite adept at recognizing sentiment or intention. That doesn’t mean I’m completely unaware.”

You ordered black coffee and a few desserts and continued, “Whatever she’s planning. I don’t know. But I do know it wouldn’t be great for anyone in the division.”

You stared at the sweet confectionery’s as the workers were stressing out beyond the display, “My powers only extend up to the past. The infinite future ahead is anyone’s guess.”

Aki sighed, even you weren’t aware of what Makima was thinking.

“How did you become. . . “

“Become an amalgam?”

“. . .I’m sorry for the disrespect.”

“I don’t remember.” You finally answered. Your words barely registered above a whisper. But Aki has and will always hear it better than any other sound.

He guessed your memory of your merging was probably given away in a contract and is a sensitive subject.

The two of you return to the car in silence, waiting for Makima’s return.

Once she was back in, and you’ve given her the coffee and food, Aki started up the vehicle and began heading back to HQ.

The silence between the three of you was killing him so he decided to take a shot in the dark and ask Makima of her intentions. Surprisingly, she took the bait, somewhat.

“All Devils were born with names. The scarier the name is, the more powerful it is.” She commenced her speech.

“Take coffee for example, it doesn’t really have a scary image. If there was a coffee devil out there it must be weak.” She drew her eyes to the shaky state of the beverage and made no effort to cover the cup. Then she looked outside the window, to the cars and city scenery, “A car on the other hand, it gives you the image of being run over. That might be a stronger one.”

“Denji can turn into the chainsaw devil. I just think it’s pretty interesting.” And he could potentially erase anything she deemed unnecessary, which was infinitely more than interesting.

“He’s interesting, but he’s of no use to us. Everyone in the division has a goal or faith. He has neither of those. He’s not cut out for this. Not to mention he thinks he can befriend devils.” Aki bit his lip. Denji was nothing in comparison to the rest of the Public Safety sector. He had no experience, no sense of duty, was a slob and pervert.

And yet the stars of the workplace put their trust on him on just a whim, a flight of fancy. “He’s just a kid.”

“We shouldn’t judge a caterpillar when it hasn’t finished chrysalis, or an egg that has yet to hatch.” Taking Aki’s focus on the road as an opportunity, Makima slid her hand atop yours,“The kid. One day he’ll be a man. And he’ll be your junior to use. Yours to throw at the devils that destroyed your life.”

“Give him enough time with devils.” Her visage faced yours, and she smiled.

It terrified you.

“He’ll learn to hate them. Like every human should.”

You looked away, choosing to fill your mind with something else by checking in on Denji. Your eyes widened at the state he found himself in with just a few hours outside your supervision, “Turn on the radio.”

Aki doesn’t even think before his hands reached out to follow your command.

“Bat Devil spotted fighting with a Chainsaw Devil down at . . . “

“Hayakawa. Prepare your team to dispatch the Bat Devil immediately.” Makima downed the coffee in her hand while you basically inhaled your food.

“Understood.”

A/N: First part of my surgery is finished! Might be a week or so for the next ;u; i am in pain

Chainsaw and Happiness Taglist: @saharei @kaedescrush @epsi9099 @aradia-melinoe @sleepwillow @rolo-at-midnight @acuriousmoon @moonnotsonaa @just-some-stars @justarandomweeblol @cyn9 @that-one-simp

(please make sure you’re taggable if you reply to be added)

I’m going home after my family celebrates Ramadan and Eid so slow updates until then I’m so sorry

CHAINSAW & HAPPINESS TAGLIST: @saharei @kaedescrush @epsi9099 @aradia-melinoe @sleepwillow @nordithus @rolo-at-midnight @acuriousmoon @moonnotsonaa @just-some-stars @cyn9 @justarandomweeblol @that-one-simp @somebodyrandom-613

CHAINSAW & HAPPINESS TAGLIST:

Extra Notes: I’ll delete this in case I find better moments to showcase it in the story but to explain [Y/N]’s Bible ability more in depth, you’re basically able to know everything if it has been explicitly stated (Denji’s boob touching desires) or if it can extracted from an event that happened in a being’s life(Power’s relationship with Meowy and subsequent loss of the feline). To counteract how OP this can be, you aren’t able to read minds and are pretty dense + can’t view the future + it has to be activated rather have it on as a passive. In short, you don’t know how obsessed the sector is of you since most of them know of this ability, are pretty careful about how they act in case you decide to probe their past, and you aren’t a creep (i hope). In other words, abilities’s extent is as far as a reader of history knows not the author.

(Also you just aren’t allowed to peer into Makima’s history. We don’t poke sleeping bears, especially if they have the power to control you.)

Chainsaw and Happiness Taglist: @saharei @kaedescrush @epsi9099 @aradia-melinoe @sleepwillow @nordithus @rolo-at-midnight @acuriousmoon @moonnotsonaa @just-some-stars @cyn9 @justarandomweeblol @that-one-simp @somebodyrandom-613 @cupidlot

White names couldn’t be tagged + added a few who just commented if that’s fine?

Thanks for reading!

[actiniumwrites]

IM OBSESSED WITH HEIZOU RN SO I’D APPRECIATE SOME GENERAL HCS WITH HIM BEING OUR BOYFRIEND, HUSBAND, LITERALLY ANYTHINF I LOVE HIM SL MUCH OR A SCENARIO WHERE WE’RE WORKPLACE RIVALS AND SOMETHING ABOUT THAT PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE FLARE JUST MAKES HEIZOU AND READER PUSH AND PULL MORE

BOYFRIEND HEADCANONS

synopsis: what some of the genshin boys would be like as your boyfriend <3

characters: kaeya, heizou, alhaitham, and itto x gn! reader

warnings: some swearing and the fact that i’m pretty sure some of these might be ooc (i struggle with headcanons tbh)

notes: omg i love heizou sm rn too honestly when do i not 😭. anyway, i hope you don’t mind that i added in more characters for this :)

kaeya:

contrary to what some people might believe, i think kaeya would actually be a more private-relationship kinda guy

he’d definitely make it known you guys were together, but he wouldn’t flaunt his relationship all over mondstadt

he appreciates privacy and the moments he has with you

he can never wait to finish work because of how badly he misses you all the time — especially if he’s on an expedition

he’s very teasing with you still, but not as much as everyone else. he’s definitely more down to earth and himself when he’s around you

whether they’re silly or deeply emotional and loving ones, the cavalry captain definitely writes you letters

he LOVES to cook for you, but it’s even better when you guys cook together (he’ll never admit it though)

super bashful about you, but he tries to cover it up with his charming and nonchalant facade (the only person he can’t hide it from is diluc)

speaking of diluc, kaeya claims he hates that you get along so well with him, but deep down he’s so unbelievably happy about it

cold? he’ll always give you his jacket or bring something warm for you just in case (especially because of his cryo vision)

overall just a super sweet and passionate boyfriend. he’s never loved anyone as much as you and will always value you above everything and everyone else

heizou:

claims it was love at first sight when he first met you, even though you weren’t a big fan of him at first

absolutely head over heels for you and makes it known

very flirty and constantly tries pick up lines on you even though you’re already dating him

i think he’d be very physically affectionate and likely always try to be near you whenever he can, whether that’s standing next to you, holding your hand, hugs, whatever

he likes it when you fake banter with him, but sometimes he can get a little down (so don’t make jokes about his detective abilities)

when he does get down, he gets EXTRA clingy. he particularly likes to lay down with you/ on you and just rest for awhile

he’s independent and confident, but definitely needs some occasional words of encouragement/ pep talks

heizou absolutely adores when you guys just get to talk about your interests. he really appreciates when you listen to his detective work and stories and is equally appreciative of your stories and interests you talk about

he’s SUCH a good listener. anything you wanted to tell him — boring or not — he’d listen. he just loves listening to your voice

tries to cook for you sometimes, but he isn’t the best at it. he honestly loves your cooking far more than his. though, sometimes he’ll use his cooking as an excuse to take you out to a nice restaurant and have a date

he can be a little over the top, but he’s a really great boyfriend

alhaitham:

alhaitham as a boyfriend is pretty rough around the edges

he can be sappy sometimes, but he honestly usually doesn’t see the point in it and prefers to be straightforward all the time — regardless of the fact that you’re dating

his compliments can sound harsh, but you know he means well

never says anything he doesn’t mean. he just wants to make sure you understand his love for you is completely and utterly genuine

arguments happen frequently because of his personality, but he’s pretty quick to resolve them once he comes to his senses and realizes his wrongs

he’s not a shitty boyfriend though, don’t get me wrong

he’s protective of you and always watches out for you. though, sometimes you argue he’s too protective

not the most flirty, but if he sees someone else flirting with you, this man suddenly becomes a bit of a different person (jealous much?)

lends you his clothes a lot. and he won’t admit it, but he really likes the way you look in them

enjoys reading with you. days where you just get to spend quiet time leaning on one another just reading books are his favorite

cooks for you all the time and is VERY good at it. sometimes you wonder where he picked up the skill

he’s much more of a quiet and private boyfriend rather than being super outgoing about your relationship. he probably even wanted to keep your relationship secret at first

overall a very blunt but still very loving boyfriend. you love him all the same though <3

itto:

you can’t tell me itto wouldn’t be a good boyfriend

like heizou, he’s head over heels for you except he tries to play it off all the time (but fails every single time)

he just can’t hold back is adoration

he loves hugging you…like an abnormal amount. when he get’s excited, he hugs you. when he gets sad, he hugs you. when he’s laughing, he hugs you. you get the point

he’s obviously not the smartest and can be a bit dense when it comes to certain things or emotions, but he’s always willing to try to help and understand you no matter what

and sometimes he doesn’t understand you, but he’s always listening. in fact, i think itto would be a really great listener

super protective and easily jealous. that, too, he tries to play off but he’s not fooling anybody

he’s always got your back and you’ve always got his. to shinobu, he calls you his partner in crime

he uses you as motivation to not get in jail, because even though he’s always hated it, he hates it even more now because that he can’t see you

very comfortable to be around, and he does that on purpose. he’d never want to make you uncomfortable and always makes sure you feel welcomed with him and with the gang

super loving and always makes sure you feel loved and secure. but make sure to do the same for him, because he can definitely get a little insecure sometimes—being an oni and all

go beetle fighting with him and he’ll love you forever

and he’ll love you even more if you get along with his family. honestly, he already treats you as if you’re married

ugh itto would be one of the best boyfriends ever

[fieldofsecretss]

Not ready-D.M

Pairing: Draco Malfoy x pregnant!fem!reader

Warnings: mentions of death, war, dead parents, birth and pain.

A/N: hello loves, in this fic, Draco doesn't have access to his family wealth and money, but he works for his money along with y/n <3 yeah yeah annoying right?

———————————————————————

“Yeah- Jesus, Dray give me space.” You breathed heavily, pushing him away with a light chuckle as the end of a contraction rippled through your body. “It’s not bad. It might be false labor again.”

“I don’t know.” He crossed his arms, fidgeting his feet, not able to stand still. “You’re a week overdue. I think this is happening.”

“I think my opinion on that is more valid than yours.” You huffed, leaning back on the couch and kicking your socked feet up on the coffee table. “And I say, baby isn’t coming today. I don’t feel it.

He rolled his metallic eyes at your stubbornness and sat beside your kicked up feet, patting your purple socks and giving them a squeeze. “You ready to be a mommy?” He gave you a playful smirk.

You hummed through your teeth, relaxing from the previous uncomfortableness. “Are you ready to be a daddy?” You gave him a look

You both gave each other uneasy looks with sly smiles, looking down at your belly. “I’m excited to finally meet her.” His veiny palm went to your navel, rubbing softly. “You have a connection with her that I don’t. I hope..I hope that we’ll be able to bond.”

You placed your hand atop of his, guiding it to a foot that was prodding your side. “You have a connection, Draco. Trust me. I’m the one who’s carrying her, remember? I’ve got a junior miss Draco Malfoy in here.”

He laughed genuinely, leaning down to give your tummy a kiss. “Hurry up, okay? Daddy wants to meet you.”

Nine months ago both you and Draco thought your lives were going to be ruined by the accidental pregnancy, but now, the two of you couldn’t be happier. Your lives were now extremely domesticated. You owned an apartment together, worked jobs and owned your own vehicles. You were even engaged. The boy who didn’t have a choice, the former death eater had grown up. And it was only because of how much he loved you. His friends often made fun of him in the beginning, teasing him for how much he’d changed, when in reality, he hadn’t changed all that much.

The beginning of the pregnancy was hard for both of you. Draco had a lot of unresolved trauma from his own childhood, making him doubt his abilities of a father. If it hadn’t been for Narcissa, you weren’t sure if he would of been able to snap out of it. And then you had your own doubts about mother hood, and you had no mother to help you through your curiosity, but Draco was there for you. It had been you two since day one. You leaned on each other and took care of one another. You were just adding another number to the bunch.

You lived in an apartment complex in Diagon Alley. Rent was surprisingly not terrible, and with two paying jobs, you were both able to keep bills caught up and ready your daughters nursery. He’d wanted to do it himself, but you said no, so he left the decorating to you.

It was a year and a half since the battle. The wizarding world had healed itself and so had you and Draco after having to endure that night. His dark mark faded a little more within the passing months, but they’d always be there. It was okay, though. He didn’t let them bother him anymore. And after that, it taught him a lot about the things he thought were important to him. More so, what wasn’t important to him.

After surviving that night, he cared less about society and the pressure to please his father at all costs. It taught him that if he didn’t have you, he didn’t have anything. He didn’t have purpose. Some had not been so lucky. And some barely ever spoke again or wasn’t the same anymore, and it was hard for Draco to watch his classmates or even friends suffer so badly. It only made him treasure you and your well-being more.

Later that night, Blaise, Theo and Goyle were over at your apartment having pizza and playing with Draco’s pool table. They didn’t even know how to play right, but they still had fun with it. Your contractions were coming about once every hour, but your water hadn’t broke. You were beginning to think Draco may be right. You busied yourself cooking over the hot stove, flipping hamburgers for your guests. Normally, Draco would cook since you didn’t like the heat, but you were trying to busy yourself as to not think about your growing contractions.

You’d taken this whole pregnancy like a champ. You barely had mood swings and only occasionally morning sickness. You didn’t complain like he figured you would. Of course, you had your days, but you aced this nine months. But now, you weren’t feeling so confident. And just at the thought of it, you felt an ache in your back that made you freeze and grip the stove. “Fuck.” You groaned, gaining the attention of the men.

“What? What?” Draco panicked, running to your side. “Is it another one?”

You groaned and nodded as you bent over, breathing sharply as he held you up. “Fuck.” You spat

“That’s another one boys!” Draco beamed, pulling you up as the pain subsided. They didn’t last long, but you knew that would soon change. “How close are they now? Like…every forty minutes, right?” He guided you to sit at the table, pulling a chair out for you.

“Yeah, I think.” You nodded, holding your swollen belly.

“I can’t believe we’re gonna be uncles, man,” Blaise shook Goyle and Theo’s shoulders, hopping once in place. “Pansy is so excited for her next visit so she can see her.”

“Well, I’m glad everyone’s thrilled.” You teased, pushing Draco back so you could try to stand

“Woah, woah, you need to sit down, love” He grabbed your shoulders, trying to usher you back into your seat.

“I’m fine, Dray.” You patted his chest. “It could still be false labor. You’re worrying over nothing.” He let you pass with a creased brow as you went back to your food.

“How do you know when it’s time to go to the hospital?” Goyle lined his pool stick with an eight ball.

“When her water breaks.” He glanced at you over his shoulder, watching you carefully like you were made of glass. “If we can go after midnight, though, our insurance lets us have two free nights at the hospital.”

You were the one carrying this baby, and you also knew that this was not false labor. It was the real deal, and you were also nearly shitting yourself over it. Truthfully, you wanted to cry on the shower floor, but you wouldn’t even be able to stand up without any help. You’d never gotten nervous about any of this before. You were scared shitless in the beginning, sure, but you and Draco had gotten your bearings together rather quickly. After all, you both had done a lot of growing up since the trauma of the war. But with all the talk of labor, you weren’t feeling so confident in your body’s abilities of producing a human being.

“Well, what if her water breaks before midnight?” Theo sat on the pool table, talking as if you weren’t even in the room.

“Then we go to the hospital.” Draco chalked up the end of his pool stick. “Just a plus if it happens later.”

You huffed, turning around and holding a plate of cheeseburgers. “I am right here, you know?”

“Oh, yeah, we know.” Theo grinned. “You’re kinda hard to miss.”

“Ha ha.” You flipped him off, making the guys laugh as Draco took the plate from you and sat it on the table. “Eat your damn food”

While everyone else talked about your unborn child, you kept glancing at the clock. It was four o’clock, and you knew damn well that your water was going to break before midnight. You would have this baby tonight. Merlin, as crazy as it was to believe, you didn’t feel like eating. You passed your cheeseburger to Blaise , who happily scarfed it down while you pretended to not be scared to death, and Draco for once, was too excited to be able to tell that something was wrong.

It was times like these where you missed having the comfort of your mother, even though she hadn’t provided much comfort when she was alive. You just missed a female presence. Honestly, you wished Hermione was there with you, but you weren’t going to demand that she just let everything go just to calm your nerves. While the boys played pool, you sat on the floor and folded baby clothes, your body tense and nervous. You were extremely frustrated with yourself.

“How’s my girl?” Draco crouched down to sit beside you after some time had passed. “You seem awfully quiet.”

“No, no, I’m okay.” You nodded, still folding little baby socks. “Just tryna get this all sorted. Guess I should of done it when I wasn’t so huge.”

He chuckled, draping his arm around your shoulder. “How are you feeling? Think you’ll be getting any more contractions?”

What Draco didn’t know was that you’d already had three more. You’d just gone to the bathroom and ran the sink water while you bit on a towel. They were getting more painful, and you dreaded when your water was going to break. “Nope.” You lied through your teeth. “I told you it’s not gonna happen today.”

He patted your thigh and smirked. “Okay, mama. You just tell when you start to feel one, okay? We need to keep ‘em’ timed right.”

You were doing your own timing, and the last three had came every twenty minutes. “I will.” You gave him a peck on the lips as he stood to head back to his pool game. You knew you shouldn’t be lying. It was gonna get you in trouble, but damnit you were terrified. How in the hell were going to push out a baby? You were going to be ripped in two. You shuddered just of the thought of it...

After a while you decided you needed to get your mind off it, so you decided to join their game. Theo rolled his eyes when you took his spot and made him sit out a round, but obliged when Draco kicked him. You got yourself laughing after awhile when you’d kicked everyone’s asses. Pool was your game, and Blaise was a sore looser. “That’s utter bullshit!” He threw up his hands. “I didn’t even get to shoot! How do you get every pocket full!”

“Because I’m a woman, Blaise.” You leaned against the table. “We know how to handle balls.”

Blaise cringed while Draco and Goyle snickered, leaning shoulder to shoulder while they shared a beer. “That’s my girl!” Draco cheered. “Nine months pregnant and can still kick your ass, Zabini.”

“Don’t get cocky, blondie” You gave him a playfully look, tossing down your stick, “I can still kick your ass too.”

“Ha ha.” Blaise shook his head at him.

You smiled wildly and went to say something else, but a ripple went up in a wave through your abdomen, burning down against your pelvis that made you double. “Oh-” You couldn’t even try to conceal this one.

Draco’s metallic eyes widened and he shot over to you immediately. “Hey, hey, are you okay? I got you, I got you, my love”

Your hand gripped your belly and the other on his bicep, gritting your teeth and letting out a cry. “Oh, Merlin, ow, ow- ouch!”

“Breathe, baby, breathe.” He reached to pull out a chair and slowly helped you sit in it. He crouched below you and took your hands. “You alright? Talk to me, honey.” He reached up to pushed your hair away from your face.

You nodded as you felt a bead of sweat roll down your neck. You exhaled loudly as one last tightening sensation burned against your back, and you leaned your head back in exhaustion. “Damn, that hurt.”

“Alright, Blaise, what was that, man?” Draco looked over his shoulder as Blaise looked at his stop watch.

“Still seems to be once every few hours.”

Draco crossed his brows and swallowed nervously, looking up at you. “Are they supposed to be that painful so early on?”

You shrugged, not liking the sudden attention. “I dunno. It doesn’t matter anyways. We can’t go till after midnight. We can’t afford it.”

“Hey, you let me worry about that.” He squeezed your hand. “You just tell me when we need to be going, okay? I don’t care about our insurance.”

“Well, I do.” You snapped, crossing your arms. “I’m not going till after midnight, Draco. Stop trying to force me to go.”

“Hey, hey, I’m not forcing you-” Draco was beginning to try and apologize, but your defiance made him stall. He gave you a weird look that made your heart race, like he was reading your mind. He sighed frustratedly. “You’ve been having more contractions, haven’t you?”

“What!” You screeched, feeling trapped in your chair. “No, I haven’t!”

“Y/n, don’t lie to me.” He shook his head firmly. “You need to be honest with me, this is serious.”

“You don’t think I know that?” You shoved his hands off of you, and stood, he still helped you even though you didn’t want it. “I’m the one who was to give birth to her, you know? I know how serious it is!” You snapped, ignoring the boys who stood together awkwardly, giving each other nervous glances. “Quite hounding me about it and play your damn game.” You opened the freezer and grabbed your chocolate and salty caramel ice cream you’d been eating for weeks, pushing past him to head to the couch.

“Y/n, don’t do this” He followed you. “I’m sorry, okay. I shouldn’t have said that.” He tried to apologize, sitting beside you on the couch and grabbing your shoulder. “I’m sorry, honey, okay? I’m just nervous, I didn’t- I didn’t mean to be an asshole.”

You pouted your lip and brought the spoon to your mouth, taking a bit as you tried to keep from crying. “It’s fine. I just don’t want you to worry about me. She’s not coming today.”

He apprehensively nodded. “I know, I believe you.”

An awkward tension filled the room as he stared at you while you ate. You didn’t have much color in your face, and he knew that something wasn’t right. And any normal person would assume that it was just nerves, but Draco was able to expect that from you, as to how easy the pregnancy had been for you. He thought you’d sore through the delivery with flying colors.

“Should we go?” Theo cleared his throat awkwardly.

The three stood side by side in the kitchen watching the both of you with nervous glances. “No, you guys can stay.” You brushed off with a wave. “Finish your game, I’m gonna watch tv.”

They nodded and obeyed, but Draco didn’t leave your side. “Draco, you can go play. I’m fine.” You reassured him, clicking on the tv with your remote.

“I know.” He pulled you into his side, arm draped around your shoulder. “But I wanna sit with you.”

Draco knew damn well that something was up, and he wasn’t going to let you out of his sight. You bit your lip but said nothing, sinking back into the couch while you paid no attention to the gameshow on the screen. Draco rubbed your thigh lovingly, then up to your belly. It had been eight minutes since your last contraction, and you prayed you wouldn’t have one sitting right beside him.

You were embarrassed how scared you were. You’d never felt so nervous in your life. You’d heard horror stories about birth before, and sweet Salazar, the picture books Pansy showed you were for nightmares. You weren’t going to be able to handle it. What if you weren’t strong enough? What if you couldn’t tolerate the pain?

You brought up a nail to bite and Draco noticed, but he said nothing. And then it happened again, your breath punctured it’s way out of your lungs and you gasped, doubling over as the tightened burn vibrated up your body.

“I knew it!” Draco squeaked out in a high pitched, panicked tone, holding you as you rode out your contraction. “I knew you were lying to me! Hell y/n-”

“I’m fine.” You moaned through the pain, squeezing your eyes shut as you whimpered.

He gulped and shot up. “Blaise! How close was that? Ten minutes?”

“Nine.” Blaise tapped his watch as he and the guys followed you. “Are you okay? Should we go to the hospital now.”

”Yes”

“No”

Draco whirled around and gave you an incredulous look. “What?!” His blonde hair in the front flew a little as he dramatically flayed his arms about. “You’re nine minutes apart!”

“And that’s too early.” You said firmly, huffing and puffing as the pain went away. Blaise passed Draco to sit beside you, patting your shoulder in support. “We go when my water breaks and when I’m five minutes apart. That’s what the doctor said.”

“Yeah, man you don’t want to be waiting all night in the hospital.” Theo tried to calm Draco down. “Listen to her.”

“Thank you.”

“Shut it idiot.”

Draco took a deep breath and rubbed his face tiredly, looking down at you with a panicked look. “Five minutes apart.” He gulped through a nod.

You nodded back. “Yeah. Now, sit down you’re making me nervous.”

Everyone gathered around you, and the room was dead silent besides your tense breathing. Blaise sat on your left side, Draco on your right, turned to you as he stared at your belly. Goyle and Theo sat on the floor where you had folded your baby’s clothes, staring at Draco for the next move. “Well, somebody entertain me!” You snapped, making them jump at your reaction.

“Why didn’t you tell me you were having contractions?” He said, or at least tried, gently, holding your knee. “If it’s about the insurance, I told you I don’t care about that. I have money saved up.”

“Theo have you read the new book I recommended to you, yet?” Blaise clapped his hands together, trying to change the subject.

“Because I don’t want you worrying, Draco.” You breathed shakily, closing your eyes and trying to tune out the noise. “If we leave when you want us to we’ll be there for hours. Trust me, we have plenty of time.”

“Yeah, man, it was good.” Theo cleared his throat, blinking between the two of you.

“Okay, but don’t lie to me about it, y/n.” He stressed. “We need to keep track, it’s important to-”

“I know, it’s important, Draco!” You shouted emotionally, voice cracking despite your strength. “I’m timing them, okay! Just shut up and let me worry about it!” You glared it him, failing to stand up. “Fuck!” You struggled, and Blaise placed his hands on your upper back to push you.

Draco gulped, shaking his head in disbelief at your outburst. “What is going on with her?” He whispered to his friends, pushing back his hair with sweaty fingers. “What the hell did I do wrong? She’s crazy!”

You ignored whatever whispers were being said about you, and you swallowed back the lump in your throat as you placed your ice cream back in the freezer, slamming the door and turning to the sink to wash your hands. Your breathing became shallow and you felt as if you were going to have a panic attack.

Then, a splat hit the floor that made you jump, and you looked down in horror at the puddle on the floor that soaked your grey leggings. “Oh, my god!” You cried, covering your mouth in shock at the sight.

“Y/n?” Draco heard your exclaim and he hurriedly ran over to you, the guys all following him single file. “What, baby, what is it?” He came to your side and followed your eyes down to the floor, seeing the puddle your purple, socked feet were standing in. “Oh- gross, oh, oh my god! Oh, my- shit! It’s time!” He laughed, bouncing up and down as he hugged you, the boys cheering behind him.

“No, no, no, it is not time, Draco .” You assured, but panic was seeping through your pores easily without care.

His face fell. “What? Y/n..love, you said when your water broke we would go, so- so let’s go!” He tried to smile it off, but your stern expression made his falter.

“Oh, gross.” Theo cringed at the puddle of…well, whatever that was on the floor.

You groaned as you sat down. “No, I said whenever my water broke and my contractions were- oh, oh, ow, ow ouch!” You wailed, gripping the chair as Draco’s hands shot up in a panic, rubbing over to grab his keys.

“Yep, yep, we’re going!” He grabbed his wallet and shoved everything into his pocket. “Goyle, go get the baby bag. Theo you go get her new pants and Blaise- Blaise stand there and look pretty.”

“I’m pretty.” Blaise stuck out his tongue to Theo.

“Oh, god- Draco, love, I’m fine.” Your voice was thick as you tried to speak through the pain, holding your stomach as you shook your head. “We still- we still got time.”

Draco’s eyes widened. “Y/n, let’s- okay, yeah, come on, we need to go. Like right now.” He winced at your sharp gasps of pain as he grabbed your shoulder to try and get you to stand. “Blaise, help me.”

“Honey,” Your body was tense and on fire as you gritted your teeth. “Calm down. It’s okay, just relax- ow, ow,”

“That’s five minutes apart.” Blaise stepped over to the other side of the chair.

“Five minutes!” Draco pointed to his watch. “See that, love? Five minutes. And you said we’d go at five minutes, so we need to go, right? Come on, up, up, up!” You both spoke over top of each other. You tried repeating over and over that you were fine. Draco kept telling you to get up. Blaise tried humming a lullaby to keep everyone calm, and if you hadn’t been so panicked, you would of heard Goyle and Theo trying to pick out a pair of pants that would fit your swollen legs.

Your eyes were closed to keep him from seeing your brewing tears. You were too scared. You couldn’t do this. Nope. Nope. You changed your mind.

“Baby, darling— light of my life, my treasure,” He bent slightly to place a hand on your shoulders, expressions panicked and wired with adrenaline. “Jill to my jack and Juliet to my Romeo, we’ve gotta go.”

Draco’s hands began pulling on your arms, and then you felt Blaise’s. It was enough to send you over the edge.

“No, get off! I’m not going! I’m not going!” You yelled out a nasty sob as your tearful eyes snapped open, you jerked your hands away and Draco’s face fell, and both him and Blaise backed away immediately at your sign of distress. “I can’t do it! I don’t want to do it! I’m too scared!” You sobbed, hot tears staining your cheeks as you covered your face, shoulders shaking with heavy hitches.

“Hey, hey,” Draco said so softly, crouching down to your level. “Sweetheart, hey, look at me.” He peeled your hands away gently, holding them tightly in his grasp. “Are you kidding me?” He smiled sweetly. “Y/n, if there is anyone in the world who can have this baby, it’s you. Merlin, you are so strong. The things you’ve done and seen. You’re going to be such a good mother.”

You sobbed pathetically and gripped his wrist, your nose leaking. “But Dray I’m so scared. Please- can’t you do it for me?”

He chuckled and cupped your cheek. “Oh, love, I wish I could. But I’m gonna be with you the whole time, I swear.”

Your breath started to pick when you felt another contraction start. Draco seen the panic in your face and he reached in for his key. “Blaise, go start the car.” He threw them over his shoulder without looking and heard the door shut.

“You’ve got it love, breath.”

You cried and leaned over to rest your head against his shoulder, and you pinched the skin against his arm as you sobbed and moaned through the ripple of pain. “Oh- god,”

“I’m so scared.” You whimpered. “I won’t be able to do it, Draco. I’m not strong enough.”

He shushed you gently and coaxed you to breath through your contraction, rubbing your back as you cried against him. “You remember what all the moms said at the last lamaze class?” He said into your ear.

“Yeah.” You choked. “They said that their vagina’s were ripped in two.”

He smirked and cupped your neck, pulling you away slightly so he could look up at you. “They said how worth it was. Come on, you remember that, don’t you?”

He wiped your tears with soft thumbs and held your face, his icy eyes full of such passion it made you want to fall over and die. “Remember, Leslie? She said that she forgot all about the pain when she saw her baby. And- and Donna said that everything was worth it once she got to hold her son.”

You looked so frightened, and he sighed, leaning down to place a kiss along the swell of your belly. “Sometimes I hear you talking in your sleep to her love, you’re gonna be such a good mother. She’s almost here. I know you’re ready to meet her.”

You let out a tiny sob and took a breath, your emotions all jumbled together. “Yeah.” You nodded through a thick voice. “I just- Merlin, I just can’t believe we’re doing this. After everything that we’ve been through. I mean..it’s really happening for us.” You let out a whine and closed the space. “I love you.” You kissed him, holding his face. “I love you so much.” You cried.

“I love you too, my sweet girl..are you ready to do this? Ready to go?” He asked with a soft smile on his beautiful pale face.

“Yeah, I’m ready.. will you be there with me? I can’t possibly do this without you, dray” you sniffled a little looking at him with doe eyes.

“I’ll always be there with you, love. Always.” He said and kissed you on your salty cheek. “Now, let’s go and meet our baby girl”

——————————————————————

Hellooo! I know I know, I haven’t posted in months🤦‍♀️ but here I am. I feel like this is shit but enjoy it anyway❤️

[wroteclassicaly]

Pairings: Steve Harrington x Plus!Sized Female Reader

Word count: 1,676

Summary: You and Steve have some of your favorite kind of playtime. It’s pretty intense.

Warnings: Language, use of a blindfold, daddy!Steve, use of a sex toy & strap on/harness, anal fingering, vaginal fingering, slight male masturbation, anal sex, Steve gets pegged, but power bottoms from the top, and overall NSFW content!

A/N: It started out as a small thot in my brain in the early morning/late night hours. I called it the midnight unholys, haha. And it developed into… Well, this. I have another one in the works, but this one came first, and it’s also a plus sized reader, so I hope that’s okay?

This is untitled, because I couldn’t really think of one. Anyways… Hope y’all enjoy? ;) ❤️💖

Steve makes you lay completely naked with your legs spread open, watching him jerk himself off and finger his own ass. You’re not permitted to touch yourself, or you get blindfolded and tied up. Then when you don’t listen, when your fingers accidentally dip between your thighs, he’s moving over to where you are, securing a black fold around your head, its familiar silk tickling your ears with a light muffle.

“Tsk tsk, honey. I told you to listen to me.”

“But Stevie, I —“

He clamps a huge palm over your mouth, his salty skin on your parched lips. “You want me to gag you next, baby?”

Your thighs slap together, skin jiggling, and he snorts. “Yeah, I knew you’d probably like that. You’re extremely insatiable.”

He doesn’t let you know what’s going to happen next, simply warns you to not push it and to leave your hands above your head. “If a finger even twitches, then m’ gonna make sure you’re sorry when I’m through with you.”

You comply, much to his pleasure — a little to his chagrin, if he’s honest. But it makes things easier to set his plan in motion, moving away from you and smirking as you call for him from your spot on the living room couch.

“Steve? You’re not leaving me like this, tell me you’re—“

“You better NOT be moving, and that includes your mouth, little girl. So shut up and let daddy get what he needs to!”

The chains click against the thick leather, the other item heavy in his hand — something you both love to indulge in, more than you’d anticipated when you bought it. Originally, it was for you, modeled after Steve, but when the tequila became too strong and mouths became pliant — secret wants and wishes were spilled and agreed upon.

“Not fair I’m the only one who has to take a thick fucking cock, Stevie. Maybe I want to see how badly you struggle afterwards?”

“Mhm, you’re kinda right, honey.”

And that was the end of that. Introducing one of Steve’s favorite (and yours) playtime plays.

As you can’t see anything, nor move your hands — you’re relying on what you can smell, taste, and hear. So you nearly fall off the couch cushions when your boyfriend’s foot falls sound along the hardwood, approaching you. He coos at you, dropping some items on the coffee table beside you, his fingers tickle-tapping along your forearm and up into your palm, making you instinctively grasp him in a hold. You recoil and curse, whimpering. “Shit, m’ sorry. I didn’t mean to move, daddy.”

Steve’s entire jaw aches from the shit eating grin of your timid submission. He brushes his along your eyebrows, right above where the fabric rests. “It’s alright, for now. But I’m afraid that I still can’t let the earlier offense slide, honey.”

“Oh, fuck.” You’re nodding and resigning to your fate. “Whatever you have to do to teach me not to touch…”

His mouth is leaving feather light kisses to your jawline now, his apple and cedarwood body wash igniting your senses, your ability to taste his aftershave, practically on your tongue. He has to fight himself not to hold onto your hands, his automatic must have, especially during sex. Your bare body is laid out for him to do whatever he wants, your trust and soul entwined. He beams with a pride so genuine that it’s enough to help him slide away and tap your hips. “Lift up for me, baby.”

You don’t hesitate, Steve uses his strength to quickly maneuver your right leg into the harness, then the other. The moment that the material glides across your ankles and calves — you moan, immediately lifting your ass to help him slide the straps up until they’re in their place around the thick plush of your hips. So this is what he wants tonight? You should’ve known the second his fingers found that tight little rim below those full balls, how hard his cock was, the lube bottle open and beside his feet. This was what he had planned, despite your behavioral misstep in trying to touch yourself.

“How’s it feelin’, honey?” Ever-the-present boyfriend, he’s checking in with you first.

You shift a bit, the straps tightening across your thighs and beneath the pudge of your belly, sticking in the most delicious of ways. As Steve awaits your response, he can see your skin under pressure from the leather straps, but what’s mainly catching his attention? That small gap right below where the cock attaches, right where he can see your swollen pussy on display for him. You’re soaked, thighs shiny with it, drenching the harness, clit surrounded by a small bush of hair that’s coated in your cream. It comes out of his mouth before he can stop it (as if he would).

“Holy shit, your cunt is soaking wet, honey.” Your pupils are blown so wide that you look on the verge of leaving planet earth as you face him.

He reaches over to grip the thick shaft, breathing wet and shaky, and he’s quicker in attaching the heavy weight of the silicone, making you marvel once more. How does he manage carrying the real thing between his legs all the time? Your chest heaves sporadic beats, ones that slam against your ribcage, holding the bones hostage, nearly dusting them to ash. His voice is raspy when he speaks, tendrils of chestnut hair tickling your cheek as he leans down by your ear. “Be right back. Gonna get our lube. Daddy can’t take you without it.”

You’re grinning, knowing he is doing that Steve cheshire to match. It doesn’t take but mere seconds, the sound of the gel being squirted into his hand — loud and present. The couch dips with the weight of his knees, his body shuffling as he moves to straddle you, his heavy cock falling against your stomach, grazing the silicone. You're hit with a memory of jerking him and the toy off at once.

“Yeah, I’m remembering that too, babygirl. Your poor wrist needed iced up after that, remember?”

With how hard he’s breathing, you can imagine how dark his eyes are, how the hazel has been obliterated by a midnight sky, thick with desire. He shifts his hairy thighs on either side of your hips, heavy and light all at once. His tone of command leaves zero room to argue. He’s still in charge.

“Now. Here’s what’s gonna happen, honey. I’m going to use your cock, ride you until I cum, and you’re not allowed to see me or touch me, because you didn’t listen.”

Protests and cries die on your lips, but he shushes you right away. He’s well aware that you can’t stand not touching him, especially when he’s riding your strap. Always needing to have your hands on the thick of his beautiful ass — smacking, encouraging it, scratching, pulling it apart. He gives you points when you don’t disagree further, your hands staying perfectly still, even as he makes a fast task of lubricating the faux dick and himself, tossing the bottle beside your leg. He finds your thick waistline, squeezes — and then, reaching with one hand, he tugs the tip of the toy towards his ass, gently easing it back and forth across his perineum.

“God, honey. Your strap is gonna make me feel so fucking good. Gonna soak your tits and your face in my cum.”

“Yes, please. Fucking use me, Steve!”

He grumbles about that being what he likes to hear, and then he’s settling his weight onto you, right into his loud whimpering cries, as he eases himself down the toy — each realistic ridge and thick inch making him feel for what you have to go through, but also making his brain short circuit, and your own, hearing how slick and wet he is, how his tight hole opens up for its thick girth. It hits against that special spot, and already, his toes are curling. You can’t see him, but you can feel the slippery perspiration of his skin, coarse leg hair, right to the happy trail that dips down his belly button and settles around the base of his own fat cock. He’s groaning, tongue tied and gone. Your fingers almost twitch.

“Good boy, Steve. You’re doing so good for me. Are you — you okay, baby?”

He drops a hand to your cheek and swipes his calloused thumbpad, nodding, even though you can’t see, beginning to thrust himself into the rhythmic pain. This won’t last long, he’s well aware. His pre-come squirts out in fresh waves, soaking your belly each time he works his hips. “It’s perfect. Fuck, baby.” He loses himself and lets his hand fall backwards, nudging your legs apart a little more, skimming that opening where your pussy meets the harness straps.

Your thighs begin to tremble and you mewl, quite pathetically. Steve is cursing. “Honey, that’s my good-fuckin’-girl! You’re sopping wet. And that’s all because daddy is riding you, huh?”

“You feel amazing, Stevie! How’s my strap? Nice and thick in your tight little hole, splitting you open just like you always do to me?”

You can’t form a coherent thought, both of you becoming lost in the power dynamic and babble. Steve is a writhing mess at your words, hand working overtime behind him.

He strokes and swipes as best as he can, taking what arousal he gathers from you, and uses it to circle around his rim — that’s stuffed full of your strap, and then he’s taking some more to slick his aching cock, peeling it off your stomach, letting it bob back and forth, slapping your skin in a sticky press. You’re planting your feet into the couch and helping get him deeper, his hands finding your breasts, pinching your pebbled nipples, holding on as he begins to bounce, even his teeth aching from the overwhelming urge to come, his breathing accelerating.

Yeah, this isn’t gonna last much longer…

REBLOGS AND FEEDBACK MAKE A WRITER’S WORLD GO AROUND - SO PLEASE DO NOT FORGET TO LEAVE SOME! Thanks! ;)

[kotos-and-smiles]

Ch.127 Rambling and Gushing

MAJOR SPOILERS FOR CH.127 OF KOT!

As always I will be referring to tessenpai's rough tl which you can find here

Hello hello! Yeah, I'm not even pretending that I'm not just gushing about this chapter

Know this is obvious, but I’m so suspicious that Chika wasn’t *just* half asleep at the beginning of the chapter. Like, I don’t know, he was coming out of some kind of dream. And he mentions later on that he dreamt their performance went great, but I don’t know, just seemed a weird reaction. Them squinting against the light is really cute though. But Chika looks on the verge of tears until he snaps out of it and fully wakes up. Like, maybe he had dreamt they performed and thought it was all over and that’s why he grabbed onto Takezou like that? I don’t know, and I’m probably making too big a deal out of it.

Can't believe this is actually the day they're gonna perform at Nationals. Like, we've come this far. Also should of course be mentioned how great Satowa and Hiro look and how obviously Chika and Takezou also thought this. is truly just so ecstatic to have every little experience with the club, and it’s so cute. But Momoya not wanting to lose the charm is so sweet. Like, a huge success with him. Satowa’s immediate, oh you don’t have to keep it though, like girl, please, even he values the handmade thing you gave him, people aren’t burdened by you and I still need people to remind her of that. Even Keishi gets a charm! And Chika’s little reaction after Satowa gives Keishi the charm is so cute. He’s so nervous about it.

The way Chika asks Satowa to sit with him is just, ughhslekdnc. I can’t. And Hiro once again 100% representing all of us, especially with that “Excuse me, Chika-kun!?” cuz like, that is also def how I feel about this in the best way possible. But also our girl Hiro being such a go-getter this chapter, and I love that for her. But also she doesn’t even KNOW what just went down with Chika and Satowa this chapter. Like, if she hand’t exchanged charms with Takezou, she might’ve just dropped dead from the cuteness and also jealousy. But also Natsu being so done with being on the romance bus

Satowa thinking about how it isn’t even that unusual for her and Chika to sit next to each other! And Chika is trying to play it so cool but he’s so nervous it’s the sweetest thing. And they’re both just such disasters. I fucking love so much how Chika tries to casually hold out the charm to Satowa, with his head turned away.

Like he’s just this sweet boy trying to do something for the girl he loves and it just makes me wanna scream. And I’m just never gonna get over this. Not only does he still def have the charm that she gave him (the first charm he’d ever gotten and then wrote her name on without hesitation and she considers it her charm too cuz he did that) and then he went and made a charm for her and only one for her. Like, HE MADE HER A CHARM. And then what is the first thing she does with her charm? SHE WRITES HIS NAME ON HER CHARM TOO. THEY MATCH AND THEY’RE BOTH SO DAMN HAPPY ABOUT IT! Like, they’re simply the most in love people ever. 

But like, the way he, much like her and much as he always has, tries to immediately recover when he thinks she doesn’t want it, and that’s when her ability to express how genuinely happy she is kicks in, and just the way she catches his hand holding the charm, and so she’s holding onto him as he’s holding the charm, and how easily she reaches out for him, and how easily they reach out for each other with how softly he caught her arm earlier. 

And then he reaches out cuz he wants to hug her so bad. And her brain moves onto slightly different topics while his just implodes because she just wrote his name on her charm that he made her and smiled like that about it, and HE BLUSHES SO HARD HE HIDES HIS FACE IN HIS BACKPACK. Like, I’ve been wanting so badly for Chika to blush more often with Satowa, and I know he’s confident and comfortable somewhat in the idea of loving someone and being loved, but like I wanna see my boy blush, and this was like the biggest blush ever. His blushly little ears and the way he hides his whole face, and how she notices and is just so happy and also basically hasn’t stopped blushing herself since she sat down. And like, these two people have already expressed that they love each other through words, and now they just keep doing it through actions and gestures as they always have, and I just can’t believe how precious they are. But I also love that while they have said that they love each other, Chika’s immediate reaction when he reaches out cuz he wants to hug her is just like “oh shit, that was dangerous” and like just cuz she said she loves him doesn’t give him consent to touch her whenever, but also like this is the girl that has literally said she loves him and now he just wants to give her a hug and it’s just so sweet. AFTER MAKING HER A HANDMADE CHARM LIKE SHE DID FOR HIM. Like, I’m never getting over this. I’ve wanted the charms to be brought back but questioned if they even would, and now we’ve got the fluffiest chapter ever of basically just exchanging charms and I’m just gonna scream about it forever. 

Also Satowa reacting out-loud to Chika’s cover of “gonna sleep” with “suddenly?” is so funny. 

Hiro continuing to be a go-getter and persevering through the awkwardness is honestly great to see for her. She deserves some stuff happening with her own romance. Also though her mentioning that imitating Chika and Satowa, ya know, the people who have already confessed their love for each other, might be a bit much was unexpected but welcome. And Takezou being the problem solver, offering to exchange charms, and how he tucks it next to his heart and his soft smile, and how they’ll both be able to draw strength from each other’s charms. Like, Hiro really is making her love into strength. Just love Takezou's little smile so much even though he smiles bigger in a minute. There's just something so private and joyous about it.

And then Sane and Mittsu being the epitome of single life when asking each other if they should exchange charms is so hilarious. This along with Sane trying the soothing pressure points on Mittsu’s hand just really made them a whole vibe this chapter. Like, we have these two, the painfully single, Kota and Yoshinaga who are just either vibing or oblivious, the set of absolutely ridiculous love birds, and Momoya and Takinami who are just so *done*

Honestly don’t even feel the need to mention Ichiei at the end, cuz like, yeah yeah, they’re being all intimidating and scary, but my babies just exchanged charms so I don’t care. Am I also selectively choosing to ignore the very existence of Chika’s dad right now, much less that he’s at nationals? Absolutely. I need the fluff in my life right now, so my god I will take it and be thankful for it. The amount of times my babies blush in this chapter, I just CANNOT. I love it so much.

[butterflyscribbles]

I imagine Donnies probably a little wary of Jeremy too for a while. He’s tried to be friends with the dragons before and they betrayed him. As badly as he wants to trust Jeremy, part of him is still convinced it’s a lie. I like to think the moment he really started to fall for Jeremy was when he met Brooke and saw what a good big brother Jeremy is. Donnie clearly has a soft spot for kids and family is the most important thing to him. Also btw how old is Brooke? I don’t know if you’ve mentioned it before but I assumed she was maybe 8 or 9? I know Terra is technically very young but is she mentally around the same age as Brooke?

Oh for sure. Donnie is wary too at first don’t get me wrong. He’s immediately running through all the other motives Jeremy might have in being nice to him….but then coupled with the time they first met where he’s genuinely gushing over his tech/abilities and of course learning that he’s also a big brother, that would definitely start to soften him up.

Also Brooke is in the third grade so she’s 9. Terra is about the equivalent of a 6 year old (with the intelligence of someone with a PHD in computer science lol)

But they get along really well because they’re so close in age!

[burningablaze]

Hawks x Fem!Reader - Quirk Or Not

A/N: This was a request from @sparklycupcake56

Summary: Y/N was feeling stressed about not having a special ability to help their boyfriend hero, Hawks. To cheer Y/N up, Hawks talks to them sweet nothings and gives them a little something to make them laugh

TW: Mentions of bodily injuries and angst

Ler: Hawks

Lee: Reader

Words: 1,234

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Y/N was sitting on the couch, listening to her favorite songs to keep her focus as she was reading. She was buried deep in her book with her music blocking out the noises from the outside world that she hadn’t heard the sound of her door opening and closing.

A single red feather flew in front of her face and weaved between the pages of her book. She took her headphones off and put her book down. She followed the red feather and saw Hawks leaning against the countertop, panting from exhaustion. He looked like he was ruffled up but not too badly.

Y/N ran up to Hawks and gasped at his state. “Hawks, are you okay?! What happened?!” Y/N asked as she was starting to panic. Hawks then smiled and gently grasped her hands. “Baby, I’m okay, really. I just got thrown around from a villain but it’s nothing I can handle. I got assigned to this new case and the villain that I tangled up earlier was in it. His quirk is strong and a strange one at that,”

As Hawks was rambling on about his case and describing the villain he fought today, Y/N was feeling overwhelmed. Before she could realize, she started to cry quietly. She lowered her head down and more tears kept coming.

Hawks took one glance at Y/N and stopped talking. He saw your expression and began to worry. “Hey, baby, what’s wrong?” He asked. “I’m just… I wish I could help you on your patrols and everything! I’m always worried every time you come home with cuts and bruises and… and I can’t help you!”

Y/N burst out sobbing, her hands pressed against her face and feeling stressed. Hawks just listened. He wanted to understand. He needed to understand.

“I feel so useless because I don’t have a quirk and I can’t help you.” She said and wiped her eyes.

Hawks walked slowly in front of Y/N until he was close enough to gently cup her cheeks. “Hey, look at me.” He said softly. Y/N looked at Hawks with her glassy eyes.

“Listen to me, you are anything but useless,” He said. “But, but,” Y/N tried to explain herself but Hawks cut her off.

“But nothing. You help me in more ways than you could ever know. You don’t need a quirk to make a difference.” He wrapped his arms around her waist and smiled. “How?” She asked. “You make me smile every time I come home and you get excited to me,”

Y/N smiled slightly and blushed. Hawks took her hands and made them wrap around the back of his neck. “You make me laugh every time you try to tell me a joke even if the joke is terrible,”

She chuckled softly. “You make me feel better when I had a rough day. You make food for me when I get swamped in paperwork. You make my life better when I’m with you. Don’t you get it, baby? It doesn’t matter if you have a quirk or not, just having you here with me helps me a lot and that’s good enough for me.”

Hawks kissed Y/N’s lips. “Do you really mean that?” She asked. “Every single word and don’t you forget it.” Hawks smiled genuinely and rubbed the tip of his nose against Y/N’s, making her giggle sweetly.

“Oh, you know what?” Hawks asked. “What?” “That gives me an idea,”

He suddenly scooped Y/N in his arms and spun her around, making her squeal. “Hahahahawks! Put me down!” She said, kicking her legs. “Oh no no no, putting you down is not part of my idea.” He said and walked over to the couch.

“Hawks, what’re you doing?!” Y/N struggled in his arms. He gave her a smirk. “Oh nothing, just a little something that came into mind.”

Y/N gasped. “You better not be doing what I think you're doing!”

Hawks sat down on the couch with Y/N on his lap. “I don’t know what you mean, baby bird.” “Hawks nohohoho! Don’t you dahahahare!” She squirmed around.

“What? I’m not doing anything,” Hawks protested with a mischievous grin, his fingers skittering playfully against Y/N’s sides. She tried to push him away, but his strength easily overpowered her.

“Yes, you ahahahahahare! Quit it!” Y/N managed to grab Hawks’ wrists, hoping to stop the tickling assault.

Hawks only intensified his tickling, squeezing Y/N’s sides and causing her to jerk and laugh even harder. “Quit what? This?” He teased, thoroughly enjoying her infectious laughter.

“Stohohohop, you asshohohole!” Y/N exclaimed between fits of laughter, her voice laced with both annoyance and amusement.

Hawks chuckled and continued to tickle Y/N, reveling in the sound of her laughter. “You know you love it,” He playfully taunted, refusing to relent.

“No, I dohohohon’t!” Y/N protested, still laughing uncontrollably. Despite her protests, there was a hint of delight in her voice, revealing that perhaps she secretly enjoyed the ticklish torture.

“You can deny it all you want, but I know the truth,” Hawks teased, his voice laced with playful arrogance. He was determined to break through Y/N’s resistance and make her admit the truth.

Hawks pressed his face against her neck and started blowing raspberries. Y/N tried to push him away by the shoulders, but he wasn’t letting up. Laughter bubbled up from her lips, a mix of surprise and amusement. She squirmed in his grasp, trying to free herself, but Hawks continued his playful assault.

As he blew more raspberries, his hands slowly trailed to her thighs and started squeezing. Y/N’s laughter turned into a mixture of laughter and protests.

“AAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! NO PLEASE, NOT THEHEHEHEHERE! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!”

Hawks smiled into her neck. “There’s that laugh I miss so much.” He whispered in her neck with a smile.

“HAHAHAHAWKS AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! IT TIHIHIHICKLES SO MUHUHUCH! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!”

“Do you want me to stop?”

“YEHEHEHEHES! STOHOHOHOP! EHEHEHEHEHE!”

Finally, after what felt like an eternity of tickling and laughter, Hawks relented, releasing Y/N from his grasp. They both collapsed onto the couch, breathless and flushed from the exhilarating encounter.

Hawks moved her hair out of her face with his hand as he softly smiled at her. “You have the cutest laugh ever. It’s one of the many things I love about you and seeing that beautiful smile on your face makes it all worth it.”

Y/N blushed and smiled back. “Oh, Hawks!”

Hawks chuckled. “You know, you’re impossible,” She said, playfully nudging him with her elbow.

Hawks chuckled, his eyes sparkling with mischief. “But that’s why you love me,” He replied, his voice filled with a hint of smugness.

Y/N rolled her eyes, unable to hide her smile. “Yeah, yeah, you got me,” She admitted, her resistance finally crumbling. “I love you, you annoying feathered dork.”

Hawks grinned, wrapping his arms around her. “And I love you, my beautiful and stubborn partner,” He whispered, pressing a gentle kiss to her forehead.

In that moment, they knew that their connection went beyond the tickling and laughter. It was a bond built on trust, understanding, and a shared love for bringing joy to each other’s lives. And as they stood there, their hands intertwined, they knew that they were lucky to have found each other in this vast, unpredictable world.

[that-ari-blogger]

A Weird Finale (For Good)

Catharsis is a weirdly complex emotion. Weird in the sense of how it operates. Catharsis isn’t an emotion, that’s kind of the whole point, but it acts like one. Catharsis makes you feel better, it makes you laugh or cry or maybe both, and there are very few literary tools as powerful as the ability to make your audience emote.

Catharsis is the releasing of strong emotions. If I tell a joke, the catharsis is the punch line. If I tell a sad story about a friend getting badly injured, the catharsis is the conclusion where I tell you that they are ok.

Case and point, For Good is the final song of Wicked. Kind of. It isn’t really, the story continues afterwards, and a song called Finale follows that. But For Good feels like the conclusion a story. It certainly reflects on the events of the musical as a whole, and makes a conclusion going forward.

It is also one of the two songs in all of musical theatre that I cannot make it through without crying, and this post is my defence of that inability.

Let me explain.

SPOILERS AHEAD: (Wicked, Hazbin Hotel, Andor)

“I'm limited Just look at me I'm limited And just look at you You can do all I couldn't do Glinda So now it's up to you For both of us Now it's up to you”

Elphaba has failed in her journey. She wanted total freedom, and she couldn’t achieve it. She wanted the ability to make a change in the world, but she was just one person. She failed.

The reuse of the Unlimited Lite Motif shows the other side of the coin that is Glinda and Elphaba’s relationship. It brought them both what they wanted. Together, they were unlimited, but alone… there’s this.

The limit actually corresponds to more than just physical freedom. They both wanted to be free, to be unshackled by their own capabilities. They wanted unlimited power, and Elphaba couldn’t achieve that, but she believes Glinda could. Although Glinda would disagree.

“I've heard it said That people come into our lives For a reason Bringing something we must learn And we are led to those Who help us most to grow if we let them And we help them in return Well, I don't know if I believe that's true But I know I'm who I am today Because I knew you”

I had a whole thing planned to write about fate here, but I don’t think it’s the point. Because if you focus too much on what might be, you miss what actually is.

Wicked is a story about dreams and reality colliding, and the answer to which will come out on top, is “neither”. Elphaba chased her dreams to the end and found them unobtainable. Glinda, meanwhile, saw her friend achieve great things in real time.

Don’t stop chasing a better tomorrow. That isn’t what I’m saying here. But don’t think that the change will be sudden and one day you will reach that eutopia. Change is slow, and it happens as you go. Elphaba, for example, has been saving people, and inspiring people. Oz hasn’t been saved, but she’s made progress.

The first chorus, as is usual for a song in this musical, is understated, and building to something bigger. It's laying the groundwork for later events.

The fact that Glinda’s phrases are offset is a continuation of something that began in I’m Not That Girl (Reprise), her casualness.

When Galinda was introduced, she spoke with a practiced poise, that was evenly metred so that it was impossible to notice when a song started for her. She had, in a very real sense, always been singing and never actually spoken.

This is the opposite of that, Glinda’s words feel more real, because the timing creates a casual vibe that I take to be more genuine.

Wicked has been playing around with time signatures since the beginning, usually to represent indecision or an inconsistency reminiscent of how fae realms are represented in mythology and literature. It feels whimsical.

Here the awkward bar is used to emphasise Glinda’s words. “I have been changed.”

I have found myself recommending covers of these songs, so to continue that streak, Voiceplay's Wicked medley is phenomenal, and the For Good section is especially memorable.

Glinda doesn’t know or even care about fate or what was meant to be. She is astonishingly real and pragmatic, and she can see Elphaba’s success in a way that her friend can’t.

Elphaba has become the Wizard, in a sense. She has inspired people to take their lives into their own hands. She has promised people a better world, but instead of the Wizard’s false hope, Elphaba delivered, and showed people that if they try, they can improve the lives of generations to come.

Glinda can see that Elphaba changed at least one person and made them want better, and she can carry on that legacy.

In other words:

“You've already done so much So many lives you've changed So many souls you've touched And in the end, if it's only me you've saved There's something that I've been dying to say”

Hazbin Hotel is satirical musical that deals with seeking freedom. It’s most definitely not Wicked, it’s theming is different and when I do a series on it, I will talk about that at length. But it does have a song that links to For Good.

There’s a difference between having done enough, and being done. If you only save one person, you are a hero. If you make life better for one person, and inspire them to pay that favour forwards, you have made your mark. You have your legacy.

But Elphaba has done far more than just save one person. Again, if she has inspired Glinda, she must have inspired someone else as well. And when Glinda drives away the Wizard, and presumably does more to help the citizens of Oz who are oppressed, that’s because of Elphaba.

This song in Hazbin Hotel is also a love song. I wonder if that is relevant.

“I burn my decency for someone else’s future. I burn my life to make a sunrise that I’ll never see.”

Andor is a surprisingly well-made series. As in, the Star-Wars fandom has been starved for a while for stories that say anything. So, when Andor began exploring some complex philosophy, people missed that the show was also just genuinely good craft.

But it is the messaging that I want to talk about here, briefly. Andor discusses the cost of rebellion, and in one of the several incredible monologues of the series, Luthen Rael explains that, among other things, he is making a better world for future generations. One that he will probably never receive. Like Moses delivering people to a promised land that he, himself, would never reach.

Legacy is important to both Luthen and Elphaba. Their futures are marked by conflict, but they exist so that later generations will live without that.

I would also recommend this cover by Jacob Daniel Cummings and Peter Gibbons. They are both talented vocalists, but the simplicity of the music video and set design are really cool, and the fading from monochrome to colour is a nice touch.

This song precedes Elphaba’s “death”, and it centres around Glinda telling her and the audience that it was all worth it. That’s the catharsis, whatever happens next, Elphaba has succeeded.

“You'll be with me Like a handprint on my heart And now whatever way our stories end I know you have rewritten mine By being my friend”

The romance of this musical has been implied. Evidence through subtext, rather than what is actually being shown. It got pretty strong, but an entirely aromantic reading of their relationship was possible, if you squinted.

However, I would argue that this isn’t subtext. I would suggest that “you’ll be with me like a handprint on my heart” is innately romantic in nature.

“Like a comet pulled from orbit As it passes the sun Like a stream that meets a boulder Halfway through the wood”

At this point, the song spits out a ton of metaphors, and I’m not going to go over each one. So as a whole, these stand in for that catharsis. This is Elphaba and Glinda finally letting out their emotions and stopping limiting themselves.

Defying Gravity reflected the first half of Wicked by displaying Elphaba’s freedom from external forces. But the second half featured the battle with herself and her own abilities and emotions. So, letting go of all of that and saying “I love you” in every way imaginable except the obvious certainly counts as releasing emotions.

This is the other part of the catharsis that I talked about. Half of the drama of this musical has been the development of the relationship; however you see that, between Glinda and Elphaba. That relationship fell apart, hence the tragic nature of this musical, but it did so quickly and without much closure.

So now, the two can look back on it and say, with definite confidence, that it was, in fact, a relationship.

Again, I will claim that this is romantic because friendship isn’t that powerful, usually. Friendship can change people, but romance can change a person’s story, and their life. A friendship doesn’t leave “a handprint on my heart”, for example.

I am actually having trouble articulating why this is romantic. It just is, look at it. You have to prove that it isn’t at this point.

The acting here sells the romance as well. The blinking back of tears, the faltering in each word. Emotions are running high through this song.

That is why I love this song. That is why this is my favourite song in all of musical theatre. That is why this song makes me cry.

This song is the resolution of a complex, and heavy story. It looks at the future to talk about legacy, but it also looks at the past to say “see what Elphaba has achieved”.

The song itself isn’t even the thing that makes me cry here. The emotional element of this is the story that got you here. Wicked is emotional, but it makes you hold all of that in, until For Good releases that.

Essentially, I like For Good because I like Wicked, and when I listen to the song, I listen to an entire story.

Final Thoughts

This was really difficult to analyse because the song isn’t complicated on its own right. Like I said, it’s the fact that it is the conclusion to Wicked that gives it the emotional gravitas.

But I do want to clarify something. This post should have gone out on Wednesday, but it will probably go live on Sunday instead, and there is a reason for this.

Partly, I am disorganised as hell. But partly, I have been struggling to explain why this song is queer or even romantic in nature. It is, and I will defend my opinion on that, but my excuse for it being that is… look at it, it’s so obviously romantic.

I think my answer is linked to my conclusion about this song as a whole. This is a romantic song because the entire musical has been about the romance between Elphaba and Glinda, so it carries over that weight. This song is queer because that relationship was queer. All this song does is amplify what you take into it, and that’s a weirdly empty description for something so powerful.

But I guess, in a way, that’s how stories operate as a whole. You only get out of them what you are willing to put in. If you engage with a character, and you pour your heart into that character, you will probably be rewarded tenfold. But that takes a mixture of good craft, the right story (because no story is for everyone), and a great deal of vulnerability on the part of you. Emotions can hurt, and to engage with a story, you have to be willing to let yourself feel that. But the risk is well worth the reward, at least with Wicked.

Next week, I will be giving my final thoughts on the musical as a whole, and trying to make a coherent point out of my own, incomprehensible ramblings.

So stick around if that interests you.

Previous - Next

[moonstruckloverwritings]

Yandere! Peter Parker x Reader (general)

His theme song for this post:

The best way I could describe a yandere Peter Parker is: he acts like a lost puppy.

Puppy eyes are a big go to for him. But I don’t think he’s doing it with the initial intention to manipulate. It’s the outcome, yes, but I think he genuinely is sad in those scenarios.

He would definitely start out knowing he liked you and would think he just fell head over heels in love at first sight. He’d immediately start tailing behind you everywhere.

He’d try to be friends, then drop hints at being more or make playful jokes about being together, (he’s not joking. Please notice me senpai) then he would start very openly (and badly) flirting and asking you out.

And on the other hand, he’s not just feeling overwhelming love for you. He’s terrified for your safety. He struggles with it at first. He can’t leave you because he loves you too much but if you’re associated with him you’re automatically subjected to the same dangers he is.

He fumbles that idea and possible solutions around for a while but it always comes out to the same answer. It’s not the best or most ethical but it’s the best answer he could come up with considering all the factors. So, he decides to kidnap you.

If you are willing to the new ‘arrangement’ he’s overjoyed and promises to be the best boyfriend. (Besides the confinement and limited freedoms.)

If you have powers or abilities he asks that you don’t use them. He also has other rules like:

You can’t leave his room without him, you can’t try escaping, you’re phone with either be restricted (like child locks on certain things or certain contacts) or taken completely, no arguing with him or being unnecessarily rude. There will be punishments for rule breaking.

He would never physically hurt you as a punishment. He doesn’t like seeing you hurt or upset. But confiscating things, freedoms, or putting you in a solitary confinement situation until you agree to be good again is generally the kind of punishments he would use.

Very very rarely, maybe in extreme situations, he might bring in spanking as a punishment. But he would absolutely hate it and it would break his heart to do it.

If you’re behaving well, he’d be a big sweetheart and do whatever he could for you. Extremely attentive and loves affection and gift giving. He will spoil you rotten.

Many movie nights and overly long conversations of him geeking out over his new Star Wars Lego set because he loves sharing his passions with you. And he wants you to do the same. If you like painting or drawing (or any other hobby), he’d get you any set you want and would love to hear you gush about what you made.

He would love to be affectionate with you. He’s a big cuddler. But if you rejected it at first he would be patient and understand that this is a big change for you. But if it’s been a while, like a few months, he’d start getting sad. Here comes the puppy eyes. He would think it was something wrong with him. Not the kidnapping he did but because you didn’t love him like he loved you. And he would immediately want to fix that.

“Is it how I look? Is it because you’re mad at me? Did I get you a gift you didn’t like?”

“Did I say or.. do something wrong?”

“What can I do?”

“No, I can’t let you go.. I’m sorry.”

“I did it for your protection!”

If you keep rejecting him, arguments like this will be frequent.

If you gave in, there would be no worries and things would go back to him spoiling you rotten.

He just wants to love and protect you. ♥️🕷

[thewertsearch]

GA: Im Not Surprised To See You Endorse His Paranoia Without Hesitation [...] GA: These Events Are Inevitable And Regardless Of Whatever Emotional Entanglements Obfuscate Their Significance They Will Ultimately Serve An Important Purpose [...] GA: And Karkats Notion Of A Curse Is Inseparable From His Perception Of Events As Intrinsically Negative And As Tailored To His Personal Dissatisfaction

Sure, Karkat’s taking it a little personally, but let’s give him a little credit here. When he complains about how badly things are going, he’s correct. The literal apocalypse is at his door, his whole species is going extinct, and he and the other survivors are watching their parents die before their eyes, before being spirited away to an uncertain fate. And this is all, apparently, business as usual, as far as fate is concerned. 

Sorry, Paradox Space, but I have to second-guess you, here. Why, exactly, are the lusi dying? Why does everyone keep dying in alt-timelines? Why is Sburb designed to destroy civilizations?  These events are ‘inevitable’, alright, but why? Why are these specific, tragic events inevitable, and not others? 

Sure, maybe these things are needed to fulfil time loops, way down the line. But that just pushes the question down the stream, doesn’t it? Why do we have the time loops we have, and why do they all seem to suck so bad?

This is all to say - whatever important purpose GA seems to have heard about, it’s going to be a pretty hard sell. 

GA: And Your Bad Luck Is The Same Way GA: I Believe Anyway [...] GA: What Would Happen If You Just Cleaned Up A Bit GA: Dont You Think You Would Step On A Few Less Hard Triangles

Good advice for the real world - but in Homestuck, as always, things aren’t so simple. Whitetext was quick to take credit for Vriska’s bad luck earlier on, after all.

Plus, in the real world, ‘luck’ is when random events fall in one’s favor. The Homestuck universe might not even have random events, so luck might work very differently there. We just don’t know yet. 

AG: Meddler. Why you so meddley, Miss Meddlesome McFussyfangs???????? GA: Because Youre Dangerous [...] GA: And Dangerous People Can Be Really Important GA: Maybe Even The Most Important Sometimes

Vriska will be a key player in the session. She’s got powerful psychic abilities, she’s full of drive, and she even has experience with optimizing game systems. 

There are dozens of ways I could imagine her putting her psionics to constructive use, but the question isn’t whether she could do so - it’s whether she would. Maybe losing Spidermom will help her to grow beyond the life she’s been forced to live... or maybe she’ll start maiming players that don't try hard enough.

Aw, fuck. It’s going to be both, isn’t it? 

GA: But It Just Means Theres Got To Be Someone Around To Keep An Eye On Them GA: And If Not Me Then Who

Why just you, GA? It feels suboptimal to assign only one troll to Vriska Duty. That’s a lot of pressure for GA alone, especially given she’s going to have her own Quest to contend with. 

It really feels like keeping Vriska reined in should be a team effort - I’d pick Terezi, Aradia and GA. Admittedly, I doubt Aradia would be up for it, but we should definitely figure something out, so GA isn’t stuck doing this on her own. 

AG: Or you know, if you're so h8gh 8nd might8 an8 th8nk you're so gr8at, m8y88 you c8uld oh I d8n't kn8w........ AG: TRY AND ST8P ME FROM DO8NG B8D THINGS???????? GA: That Wouldnt Work GA: If I Tried To Stop You You Would Regard Me As An Enemy

We’re finally seeing those extra 8s, so it seems Vriska is genuinely bothered about this. I have a couple guesses for what’s going on here. 

Vriska wants to be seen as a real threat. GA isn’t trying to stop her, so she feels like she’s being underestimated. 

Vriska is desperate for someone to rein her in, because, on some level, she recognizes that her behavior is wrong, dangerous, or destructive.

Vriska sees GA as a threat. She’s only pretending to be agitated, and wants to provoke GA into dealing with her alone, so that she can take her out of the picture. 

Option 1 feels too simple, and Option 3 doesn’t feel like Vriska’s style. She seems to wear her emotions on her sleeve, and I don’t know if she could fake a reaction like this. 

Does Vriska actually want to be stopped? That might explain why she’s so intent on making an enemy out of everyone she talks to.

AG: 8ut I'm starting to think you are full of shit, and I am quite sure she will 8e QU8TE FIN8! GA: Youre Right Anything Can Happen I Guess GA: But Just So You Know Im Sorry For Your Loss In Advance

Damn, dude. 

arachnidsGrip [AG] ceased trolling grimAuxiliatrix [GA] arachnidsGrip [AG] began trolling grimAuxiliatrix [GA] AG: Aaaaaaaah! AG: Man, why d8dn't I just get th8 last w8rd and sign off real qu8ck like I usu8lly do????????

Unsurprisingly, social interactions are just another thing Vriska has to ‘win’.

[justreckin]

Thinking about Memento Mori again. Because as much as I enjoy that episode…. What are we doing with Una?

I mean, I enjoy a little bit of injury and whump for my fav as much as the next girl. And I understand the concept of introducing ticking clocks in fiction to create urgency. But the ticking clocks they chose??

First off sepsis is awful and (at least in vetmed) very difficult to treat. But it’s also infection. Something we literally just last episode learned that Una’s body will burn off?? Granted, waiting too long and having Una turn into a glow stick in the middle of a very busy sickbay would also be a bad idea, but she likely wouldn’t have to worry about “feeling like she was giving birth out of her mouth.”

But even more than that….. you don’t use plasma for surgery. Or maybe this is just a vetmed thing, so anyone with human med experience please weigh in, but you use fluids during surgery. Even with oozing, life threatening wounds, you run iv fluids throughout the surgery and for at least several hours after. Plasma comes only about 12 hours later, and even then that’s only if the patients bloods are really bad. Because, y’know, you don’t want to introduce the risk of allergic reaction to a system which has already been heavily taxed due to injury and blood loss.

Which would also be a good reason to not just randomly give a transfusion from doctor to patient. Especially since blood loss can be detrimental to a persons ability to function, which might just maybe be a really bad idea in an extreme triage situation.

So, I mean, shout out to those fanfic authors who’ve put Una in glow stick isolation for her recovery. I’d say you’re right on the money.

(Oh, and double shout out to those couple of fanfics I’ve come across that implied Una’s mods make her unaware of just how badly she’s been injured, rather than just casually reckless. Personal opinion, but way more interesting reasoning and characterization. We already know Chris is reckless as hell, we don’t need both ships parents being idiots.)

All in all, this mostly makes me laugh but also I genuinely have questions.

[yurigalactica]

hi hello!! whats your favorite los camp! album?? all of my mutuals have had different answers haha

AAAAHHHH HIIIIIII NEW MUTUAL :D

truthfully, i don’t think it’s been just one—it rotates between them a lot. when i first got into them it was no blues, then it was romance is boring, then we are beautiful we are doomed, then sick scenes—you get the picture. i find it hard to compare them when they’re all so distinct from one another. i love hold on now youngster for its immaculate scream-in-the-car-after-a-shitty-shift ability, i love we are beautiful we are doomed for its metaphors about love and death (“i cannot emphasize enough that my body is a badly designed poorly put together vessel” and “i don’t want to sound trite but you were perfect, the way you could seriously make nature look dysmorphic” are two of the most notable ones to me), i love romance is boring’s unique sound but absolutely undeniable BANGERS (genuinely i think that album has so many bangers oh my god, it was a bit of an acquired taste for me at first but DAMN if in media res doesn’t change my brain chemistry every time i hear it then i don’t know what does). hello sadness took a while for me to get into, but i love how flowing it is, and while i’m more picky about the songs on it, this album is home to my favorite song on their entire discography—to tundra. my GOD i am so fucking obsessed with that song. literally cried the first time i heard it. no blues was the first album of theirs i listened to all the way through, so it holds a very special place in my heart—and i feel like i can relate to it because of how intricate and bursting with vocabulary it is. i gotta admit, i write fanfic and tend to get carried away with my prose a lot, so i feel very connected to that album because of it. and last but certainly not least, SICK SCENES!! i moved out to go to uni not too long ago and this album held my hand when i did it. hung empty CARRIED me through my first semester when i still had no fucking clue what i was doing. the entire album genuinely is so good, every single song on it is irreplaceable, and as of late, it’s my favorite vinyl to listen to.

if we’re talking my current favorite, however, i’ve gotta say that i’ve been rocking with no blues lately. give me long-winded metaphors about death and pretentious vocabulary!! WOOOOO!!

but yep, that’s my thoughts—i’m far too indecisive to pick just one album. i can’t wait for all hell to come out :D