#but actually i am just using the methods i used in that class instead of the ones i typically use

[jayisabellsart]

Stelle wip

[mashkaroom]

literally thank you dovid katz for putting everything you’ve ever published online

(https://www.dovidkatz.net/dovid/dovid_bibliography.htm -- his bibliography arranged by date here

https://www.dovidkatz.net/ -- and more of his stuff available here)

[parisoonic]

I just want to say I love how you do your lineart, it looks so good! ahhhhhhhh!!

I'm gathering a lot of advice about the topic of lineart and I just wanna know how you get it to look like that? My line weight is getting better but the drawing itself just comes out a bit.. weird.

Thank you so much! Lineart is probably the thing I've been working hardest on as I am not a lineartist (and still struggle a lot) but it's something I really need to get better at for my job. UM there's honestly so much that could be said on the topic of lineart. Big things for me are:

Weight -> Use line weight (aka thickness) to describe form, lighting, contact and scale. Thick lines imply shadow, contact and nearness-to-camera. Thin lines imply tension, recession and light.

Straights vs Curves -> Use straight lines against curved ones for maximum interest. This is partly a character design thing but as we're using lines to describe our characters it's worth mentioning :)

Complex vx Simple -> Use complex lines against simple. Faces are always complex so therefore the backs of heads should always be simple. Chests are quite complex so backs should be simple. Dorsal sides of the arms are complex (Delt, tricep, bicep) whilst the ventral side is more simple (tricep...mainly) etc.

'Think in Ink' -> Lower your sketch layer almost to 0% opacity so you're not getting hung up on how nice/energetic your sketch look and instead are approaching the piece from an ink mindset. BUT it's digital! So if there's something in your sketch that you like just bring it forward (copy and paste) into your ink layer. I sketch and ink with the same brush so I can use this workflow

'Confidence' -> small hesitant feathery lines will look nervous compared to big swooping lines. Less is always more. I'll redraw arms/limbs until I can get the appearance that it was done in one brush stroke. Again it's digital so you can erase to cheat this look : )

MISC 01: I always hear 'draw from the shoulder'........meh............it's digital so draw from your wrist...it's fine honestly. If we were working at A1 in a life drawing class then we could get some shoulder action going but most of us are hunched over 16inch tablets. I think this advice aims to pull people away from feathery-nervous lineart honestly which you can improve on without relearning how to draw from your shoulder.

MISC 02: For a 'smoother' look do your lineart at a larger canvas size than you need. Once I'm happy with a sketch I usually double the canvas size and do my lineart then.

MISC 03: In PS (at least) anti-aliasing goes funny at any zoom level that isn't in the 5 times table. So try not to look at your canvas when you're zoomed in to 87% or 71.39% or something crazy. Just stick to 25%, 50%, 75% and 100% if possible.

UNFORTUNATE TRUTH: Lineart is incredibly based on raw draughtmanship I've discovered. When you're working with colour you can hide a lot in rendering (shadows, highlights) or post-processing (depth of field) but in lineart all your mistakes are just...there for people to see. There's ways round this...which I use A LOT. 'Flourishes' (I use 'flourishes' to mean over-confident lineart where it veers particuarly thick or particuarly thin in contrast to your approach in the rest of the image) can sort of trick people into thinking you're more confident about an area than you actually are.

As well as leaving 'breathing room' within your lineart instead of actually...resolving the area. I do this the most around the face and hands.

Hopefully some of this helps? Honestly there's a lot of deep dives that could be done into indivudal things and there's also the massive caveat that all of these are 'guidelines' and not strict rules. I also favour a more...concept-arty? animation-y? storyboard-y? look to my lineart which favours flourishes and breathing room for a incomplete/work-in-progress feel which would make methodical colouring (ie: for a comic or something) a pain.

Keep up pratice is the main thing and doing studies of artists who you like that have great lineart - you'll pick up draughtmanship skills along with the lineart studies. Here's some of my lineart from a year or two ago...it varies between very 'standardised' (which makes it difficult to read volumes and to be honest, it's boring) and 'TOO EXCITING' (which...also makes it difficult to read volumes and for the eye to rest).

I'd like to share my brushes at some point as I've found 3 that I really like and use for everything more or less. I discovered that a shocking low amount of people use PS on tumblr (shocking to me I guess as i'm so used to PS being the standard) and everyone seems to use Procreate or Clip Studio Pro...so I want to check that the brushes are Procreate compatible at least before I share!

[imjustania]

How to study

Everyone has experienced that situation where they have a lot of homework and assignments to complete, yet it can be difficult to get started (I can relate!). We try various methods and even tidy up our room, but still struggle to concentrate. As someone with ADHD, I have faced this challenge throughout my life. Therefore, I have dedicated this blog post to researching the best strategies for getting motivated and staying focused while studying. My aim is to assist all those who also struggle with this issue, just in time for exam season!

Pinterest

This one is my own tip, however its very helpful! I personally love the social media Pinterest, its just a space where people get together to share their gallery! Create your own study board, and go look at pictures of people studying. Usually looking at the tidy spaces and notes help inspire someone to actually do the same. It would make you think “oh, this is pretty… maybe I should do the same!”. It also inspires you to put effort into your notes or work, as you might want to recreate this. If you need an inspiration board feel free to check mine! Trust me, this will inspire you and I update it consistently https://pin.it/8lpKfrA

Create a study space

This one is suggested in many researches, including in the International Carer Institution. They mention that “Your study environment should be clean, quiet, organised, and comfortable. Remove any distractions like game consoles and tablets, and ensure you have comfortable seating” (2022). Make sure your study space is the ideal place, because even the tiniest distraction will send you into a spiral which will lead you to distracting yourself even more. Just dedicate a good amount of your time to cleaning your desk, room, and bed. I know many people would not want to leave their room, and thats ok! You can definitely study in your room, but you have to make sure you don’t fall into the trap of the bed. Your ass can not leave that chair. The second you sit on your bed you will succumb to it’s comfort and wont leave it. Instead stand up from you chair, walk around your room. If you really want to sit not on your chair, sit on the floor (I know this sounds weird, but try it).

Set the mood

This is another personal tip that has worked for me for many years. I like to set the mood of my study space, as it helps me work more effectively! It help me when i imagine i am somewhere else while still in my room, for you it could be anywhere, library, coffee shop, work office, etc. For me, I like to set my mood to hogwards. Just imagining i’m studying in the great mighty magical school of witchcraft, helps me going. You can set your mood through ambiance YouTube videos. Some of those even have a Pomodoro installed in it, which is really helpful to getting started slowly slowly. Here is my favourite videos which you could use to set the mood!

https://youtu.be/YwMSH3dHTw4?si=DO43svTvA4BWhk5f - Christmas at the Great hall with Harry Potter! Ambiance and soft music.

https://youtu.be/5epBz_hHYiM?si=BeaYwcAH5DsqmfDb - an Astronomers Great library! Ambiance

https://youtu.be/zCi9ABxuQZQ?si=ds2nAs8CM2i5bi7d - Hogwarts Classes ambience. 4 classes total. Pomodoro

https://youtu.be/BRgPGqCV_cw?si=pMtfK7uSOsogG_Fe - 24 hour Hogwarts ambiance (intense). Pomodoro

https://youtu.be/Aw0BfB4EMY8?si=ntorGn2aEmvf0iAf - hogwarts library ambiance and soft music

https://youtu.be/m8HEoICBdTY?si=pUx-LMcV0ENKK85X - sunny ambiance - perfect for morning mood setting

More ideas to setting the mode could include the following actions: candle, diffusers, change of clothes, and adjust the light (if you have LED lights, or a smart lightbulb like Wiz, defiantly set a warm light for a relaxing atmosphere or bright white one for focus).

For the love of god put your phone down

This is the number one reason you cant get up from wherever you are seating right now, and unable to study. Your phone is a curse and a saviour at the same time. Your phone has all kind of distractions which are stopping you from actually standing up and starting your study. You start with “oh lets just take 5 more minutes” or “oh… 3 more videos wont harm” YES IT WILL. Put your phone far away, under a pillow or in the drawer. Put it on do not disturb mode, and make sure your phone is whitelisted to important people like your guardian in case they need your help. Trust me, the second your phone is away, everything will become easier. Only use your phone on long breaks, after you had a long session.

Write down your to do-list

So you finally sat down on your desk, everything is clean, everything is perfect… what now? Write your to do-list. Writing down everything you need to, helps you actually realise how much you have to do. And when you see everything written down, its easier to sort and understand what you need to do.

Work in your pace

I know you’re watching those influencers online that study for a really large period of times, but not anyone can do this AND it doesn’t work for everyone. Set your own pace, work for 20 minutes or 15 minutes and take a 5 minute break (🍅), and as you do that, you end up getting hyper concentrated at some point, and then watch the magic of studying happen.

And thats all for today folks! I hope you find this blog helpful, and let me know if this has helped you get started to study! I hope you have a wonderful day, and don't forget to keep smiling because you’re beautiful.

[carmensapientia]

The Golden Way

Too many people focus on the how instead of the doing in manifesting. You all care about the methods and “theory” rather than the practical application. I’m in college right now and in all matter of academics, there is no point of talking about theory without putting into application. In my human rights class, we explore the thesis’es but also support NGO who do grass root work. In my climate change class, we ask why it is happening and then study accounts of sciences who actually designed and apply theories into action. All my coursework and any professor will tell you this: theories are nothing without practical application. Too many teachers on here focus more on sounding as smart, as philosophical, as professional as possible, devising thousand word posts and phd level thesises about the inner man, how manifesting working, states, the void etc. It’s not worth it. It’s redundant, it’s useless and half the time intangible and over complex. You do not need to bring in Bible quotes, quantum theory, physics etc to prove that the law works. To prove that it works, you need to use it! The only reason why everyone complains over consumes and over writes about the law is because they’re trying to justify their belief (or lack of) in it. You’re trying to explain and make it logical when manifestation is not logical. You cannot out write, out read, out Anything your way into successful manifestations. All the reading writing and consuming just takes you further away from your goals because let’s face it: you’re procrastinating and not even trying to manifest. For all you saying that you’re doing everything and it’s not working: you’re wavering, you’re whining, and you’re still affirming it doesn’t work. That’s why it doesn’t. You keep searching in vain when you could Have just spent the time to sit down and affirm. Here’s the truth: there is no better way to manifest than just doing it. Just do the work. You cannot avoid the work and no matter how many posts you read or post, it won’t bring your manifestation closer. The only truth or golden way is the way you provide it. You can only have the answers you seek. You are god! Act like it! Be empowered by your thoughts and do not fear them!! Like get real. What is understanding college level quantum theory gonna do if you don’t even affirm or visualize? It’s just an excuse and a short term ego boost. You’re not a better manifestor bc you can read large theological studies. You’re just a procrastinator who relies on outside sources to fuel their belief. You keep triggering a cycle of consume attempt fail and consume every time you tried to “cope” and bring “logic” into manifesting. You don’t need quantum physics the void or convoluted posts to manifest BFFR. STAND UP SISTER. Stand on some business and affirmmmmm!

I was going to put the best way to manifest right here at the top but chances are if you’re reading this you need a long post to over consume to convince you that can manifest. I’ll end my rant here and read below for the golden way to manifest aka Affirm and persist. That’s the golden way. It’s simple and here you go:

1. know that you control your life and your most dominant thoughts cause everything

2. Pick a desire, choose the how the what the when the where etc if you want. Script if you want. Or don’t. It doesn’t matter. Just pick the desire

3. Find affirmations to imply you have it. One that says you have it, another that says how quickly you got it, and another that affirm you were the only one in control. For example: I am God, I have everything I want, and I manifest instantly.

4. Repeat repeat repeat until it manifests.

[pasta-in-the-pudding]

omg…HIHIHIHI HELLOOOOOO‼️

ENDISBDID I JUST LOVE YOUR WRITING SM I NEED TO REQUEST SOMETHING AASJSJDJ

anywho, CAN. Can can can caaaaan you write a one shot about where the reader is a young well known killer, she wears a mask to hide her (or their. Any pronouns you’re comfortable with!) identity from the people BUT she gets to go school without the mask so they’re safe! :D

AND THEN (idk but something something happened at school that caused the reader to kill someone out of pure rage.(anger issues RAH)then they run away from school and into the woods and all that stuff) Masky or any other Creepypasta sees the reader and recognizes them by the mask and convinces them to join them AND ALL OF THAT

OH and their killing method is capturing the victim who has done bad shit in their life(like bullies, bad parents and these type of people) record them in tapes, then torturing them to admit the horrible shit they done, then send the tape to the relatives of the victim for them to know AAAAAAAAAAND scene.

:3

I WILL BE KNOWN AS 🐰 TO YOU and be a regular :D

Take your time with this and take care!!

Smooch

-🐰

Omg this is totally giving early 2010's creepypasta fandom/pos

Thank you so much for requesting!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Masky discovering a new creep

Being a world famous killer blows. First world problems, amirite? Anyways, it really does stink. Having such an occupation is filled with endless controversies, people debating over what your doing is right or wrong. You also don't get much sleep, so school is 10x harder. You know that what you're doing is for the greater good. What you do is so others can live peaceful lives, not for your own selfish desires. But it's not like you can explain that, lest you be arrested and charged with murder.

And so, you put up with the tiredness, sores and cuts you get from your little "hobby". This being said, your temper tends to be quite short when it comes to people messing with you. While you rest your head on your desk to try and get some sleep you hear your name, as well as some insulting words and laughs from the girls in the desks behind you. If you actually zeroed in on their conversation, you can tell that they are talking about how greasy your hair looks and how beat up you always are, this being said they are making fun of you for what they assume is abuse at your home.

It is true that you haven't showered in a while, you just hadn't had the time or willpower to. But to make fun of someone for potentially getting abused? That had you all sorts of ticked off. You try to bury your head further into your desk to try and ignore them, but it seems that they only get louder and meaner with their insults. When your anger builds up to a point of no return, you lift your head and turn to face them. "I'm not getting abused, ok? And even if I was, what kind of right do you think you have to make fun of someone for that?! It's obvious your mommy and daddy don't love you, but if you think you can take that out on me, you are dead wrong because baby, I am not the one."

Your yelling has caused most of the class to look at you, and the girls are silent for a moment before laughing amongst themselves again, calling you weird and saying that they must have been right if you were getting so defensive about it. Their words swirl in your head and it gets to a point you can't take anymore. "Shut up." you say "Shut up shut up shut up!" You get out of your desk and push one of the girls out of her chair, climbing on top of her and beating her senseless. The other girls are now calling you crazy, trying to pry you off of their friend but it's no use. Your teacher is calling up the principal but when she sees your hands being coated with blood and the girls face getting bashed more and more into her skull, she instead calls the police.

By the time you have come back to your senses, blood is splattered all over the classroom, all over your clothes, and the girl is nonresponsive. You gasp and stand up, covering your mouth in utter disbelief at what you had done. Without even looking at your scared classmates and teacher, you run out of the classroom, knowing that if you want any chance of escape, you have to go now. You run past multiple teachers who don't even know what's going on, they only try to stop you for running in the halls. You don't listen and keep on running until eventually you realize that you are in the woods. You're a ways away from your city, and you can hear sirens blaring in the distance. No doubt they're looking for you.

The adrenaline has worn off, and you're tired. You are stumbling through the woods blindly. Your legs give out and you fall to the leaf covered floor, catching your breath and letting your sore legs rest. After a while, you hear footsteps approaching you. You curse under your breath and try to get up to run some more, fearing a cop might have found you. Your legs don't work, and the footsteps catch up to you. You are lifted off the ground by the collar of your shirt and met with the face of an older man, eyeing you up and down with a hatchet slung over his shoulder. "Yeesh kid. What happened to you?" He asks, putting you back down on the floor and awaiting your response. You are too scared to answer, only looking up at him worriedly.

He raises a brow and looks at your hands. "Is that blood...?" he asks, leaning down and looking at your hands. "Hey, you're that kid everyone in the city over is looking for!" he finally concludes. This has your heart beating out of your chest. "I heard what you did....I think you better come with me. There's someone I think you'll wanna talk too." He says, picking you up again and half carrying you. "Don't worry, we aren't going to the cops" He says with a chuckle, as if the idea is absurd. It is after this that you begin to feel dizzy, only to pass out again.

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

To Cry Uncle

🐦‍⬛ Alright, alright, let's get this show on the road 🐦‍⬛

Does Two of us make a Murder of Crows? … Or an Unkindness of Ravens?

BAM!!

The door slammed open, rattling the attic from its impact. Scattered papers shook, and even the inky letters spilled onto them seemed to tremble too.

A man in a top hat and feathered cape barreled in. From her writing desk, a girl cloaked in the same sleek, dark feathers bristled and set down her quill.

"U-Uncle?! Don't scare me like that," Raven gently chided him. "You could have at the very least considered knocking before barging in unannounced."

It was something which the headmaster of Night Raven College made a habit to do. Lectures, labs—he arrived whenever he pleased, then disappeared just as quickly. Some called him a whimsical genius (well, usually it came from his own mouth), but most called him mad and unpredictable.

But today he wore a frown instead of a smile, was less bird-like and more pitiable kitten drenched in the rain. Dragging out a sigh and a sob, Crowley threw his arms around Raven. His talons dug into his mark, the other hand woefully stroking her hair—hair which would have dampened if he had released any real tears.

"Raven-kun!!" he cried out, “Oh, it’s awful! Dreadful! The most preposterous thing happened to me on my morning stroll. You’ll hear me out, won’t you, my dear niece?”

Awful? Dreadful? Preposterous? More awful, dreadful, and preposterous than the slew of Overblots that had plagued their once-peaceful academy? She had her doubts, but entertained him nevertheless.

"… Alright, what has got you so out of sorts?" Raven asked wearily. (Her question came out muffled, on account of being pressed against her guardian’s chest.) She had learned to be patient with him, but prepared for the catastrophizing.

Perhaps the cafeteria ran out of his favorite meat pies. He’s been looking forward to that all week.

“I found a gaggle of students skipping class!” Crowley burst out, breaking their hug. Exaggerated distress turned his voice into a trill. “On Main Street, of all places! Before the very eyes of the most venerable Great Seven! They would surely be heartbroken to know that the children of today sullied the good name of Night Raven College!”

Raven tried to nod understandingly and pat his back. Quiet methods of coaxing him to let it all out

“Of course, I did my due diligence as headmaster of this esteemed institution and confronted the boys at once,” Crowley continued—puffing with a pinch of pride at the mention of his status before soon deflating. “Ooh, but I was so rudely rebuked!! The students ignored my very reasonable plea to return to class, then proceeded to ignore or insult me—ME!! Their beloved headmaster!

"Belittled and bullied by my very own pupils…" He sniffed loudly. "It’s a cruel fate, but someone has to discipline ignorant, misbehaving children--and so it fell upon my shoulders! I unleashed my Lash of Love upon them and deposited the hooligans back in Professor Trein's lecture!"

"You did what you could to resolve the situation, Uncle," Raven replied, her words carefully stroking his ego. "You are ever so magnanimous."

"I am, aren't I!" Crowley agreed. "Alas, a teacher's work is thankless! What has come of the younger generation?! And what have I done to deserve this kind of treatment? All I've ever done is work tirelessly to ensure that our Night Raven College provides high-quality education!"

"Well... You don't exactly command authority with your attitude or how you carry yourself. Truly, when most picture the archetype of a 'headmaster of an arcane academy', they tend to imagine someone... different. If you want to be perceived differently, it may help to present new parts of yourself to the students."

Like maybe actually doing your job instead of delegating tasks to teenagers and having them solve all your problems..

"Show them your strengths and good points," Raven suggested, "traits worthy of respect."

Crowley's beady, golden eyes suddenly lit up. They bore into Raven from the pitch-black holes in his mask.

"That’s it!" he declared, perking up. “If I’m to garner respect, I ought to try and demonstrate the true breadth of my kindness. Perhaps then they will take note of the power hierarchy and bend an ear to my commands!”

“Er, that’s not exactly what I meant…”

Crowley swept away from her, beginning to pace back and forth. A finger curled at his chin, his mind set in deep contemplation.

“The issue now is, how will I appear approachable to begin with? My visage is far too grand to tamp down, and I’m afraid my decades of wisdom are useless against accusations of being ‘old’ and ‘out of touch’!!“

Those comments really hit him hard, huh…

“Have you considered taking up a hobby instead of fixating on public opinion? It just may help you clear your thoughts.” Raven gestured at her desk. “I myself partake in writing as an outlet.”

In an instant, the headmaster was at her side. He nosily peered over his niece, practically leering down at the contents of her papers.

Stories that started with Once upon a times and then diverged, walking along a multitude of paths to endings yet to be determined. Heroes and villains and the people that supported them, coming together in grand casts. New places, new experiences, new feelings.

Connections, ways of bridging the gap between hearts.

“H-Hey…! I never said you could look. These are private projects,” Raven protested, hurrying to cover up her scripts.

Too late. A giddy shine had already risen to the headmaster’s eyes.

Oh no. I know that look!

“Dearest Raven,” Crowley cooed, a clawed hand finding its way onto her shoulder, “how generous of you to lend your assistance to your sad old uncle! Fufufu, it appears as though the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree!"

"What are you on about now?" It slowly dawned on her, and she paled. “Don’t tell me…”

"This is the solution for my... I mean, our predicament!" Crowley lifted a paper and a waved it around like a triumphant flag. “Written word has the power to influence. With your help, we can conduct an interview, spread stories of my great kindness and power, sway the consensus!”

Ah, a coordinated PR strategy. Raven frowned. His usual fallback.

The trick would work on most people beyond the campus grounds, but not on the students within. Not when there was already a narrative in place: the tale of the carefree, bumbling, useless man at the helm of the school. Pitiable, easily kicked around. And there was some truth to it--truth that could only be twisted so far before it fell into the realm of outright fantasy.

Most did not realize how truly frightening a man cloaked by the shadows could be.

“I understand wanting to spruce up your image, but there is only so much that can do for you. People will believe what they want to believe, regardless of what new information is presented to them."

Raven sighed, picking her quill back up and dipping it in an inkwell. Rich black fluid, darker than the darkest night, rose up into the nib. She offered the writing implement to her guardian, who stared at it in confusion.

"If you want their views on you to change, that is something you will have to earn for yourself. The words must come straight from its source and be genuine."

“Raven-kun…”

She pressed the quill into Crowley’s palm.

From here on out, the story is up to you.

[resident-idiot-simp]

Sorry it took so long to respond I was out all day and normally I would be asleep by now but due to a family emergency involving a sibling (they will be fine) I am ✨AWAKE✨. Please forgive the inevitable crimes against grammar I’m about to commit I am severely sleep deprived :D

Okay so the reason wendigos aren’t able to hybridise is because humans turn into them through specific methods ie eating human flesh. they are human turned creatures. Same rules apply for vampires, werewolves, Zombies, Ghosts and any other similar type of monster, they are around but they aren’t hybrids. There are also no Moth Man, Bigfoot or Loch Ness Hybrids.

Magic left the world a LONG time ago and no one (Human) remembers why. This caused a mass extinction event with most creatures that were solely magical being wiped out. The ones that survived either became Cryptids and barely functioned with the scraps of magic left behind or they became mundane…

The reason the fae left in the first place is because a bunch of humans tried to take magic from the Fae and actually succeeded for like five seconds before a bunch of them died from the sheer amount of power. This BIG NO NO altered the nature of magic into something humans could actually use unfortunately it also hurt the Fae badly so they had to poq for a while to recover. They took the magic with them but not before cursing the surviving thieves and their descendants to never be able to experience magic again (this led to some unintended consequences).

The reason there are no Fae hybrids is a little more sinister (angst potential incoming). Every now and then a little bit of magic would leak back into the world and keep things running just enough so that when the Fae returned it wasn’t a complete shit show (just mostly one) and after some initial conflict and a bunch of new border agreements things settled down (British hybrids can pick which royal house they follow (fae or human) whilst still maintaining citizenship (guess which Soap picked lol)) and with magic being reintroduced (in the 1800’s btw) the world slowly started to change. Within a generation hybrids began appearing, within another three Mythics started showing up too. With each successive generation the hybrids got stronger and as the magic around the world continued to grow more and more animals began looking weird. Rabbits with antlers, Giant Sea Snakes and Octopi, Lions with golden coats. But no dragons or phenox or unicorns or purely magical beings appeared instead what they had where hybrids that become a little less human every generation.

TLDR the OG mythical creatures went extinct and magic is trying its best to bring them back the normal hybrids just didn’t have enough juice in them to meet the requirements. Anything that didn’t go (fully) extinct like the Fae or are human turned creature won’t hybridise.

Technically Ghost hybridisation shouldn’t have worked but because he “died” such a specific and traumatising way near a canine mythic who’s magic he absorbed over months the magic got a lil confused (Ghost is the only Black dog hybrid the as the rest are actual dogs and not extinct ( does that mean Ghost is the strongest Black dog? Maybe…(yes it does))).

If you want angst you could say that if a hybrid uses to much of their magic they run the risk of becoming more creature then man. I don’t think they’d loose their intelligence and they’d still be the same “person” but they definitely wouldn’t be human.

Since magic returned vampires can walk in the sun, wendigos became intelligent (took one look at the military and went ✨no✨) werewolves become more aware (lol) and don’t need the moon to shift and Ghosts are still classed as citizens.

Ooh What if magic is radiation from the asteroid that took out the dinosaurs????

You're fine I hope everyone's okay and I'd be a hypocrite because I too do not understand the English language.

Ok that makes sense yeah.

FAE LORE FAE LORE!!! I LOVE IT! I love that the lore and angst of humans trying to take something not made for them is very fitting. There is a ton of potential for angst and I love that Soap is like nahhh fae all the way. (He is correct)

I Love that explanation of mythics It seems very fitting for the universe. The world needs them in some way shape or form so it corrects itself.

Great explanation for Ghost and the fact that singles him out making him the most powerful is perfect. I mean look at that man.

AAAHHHH ANGST!!!! I LOVE THAT! It limits them and makes them of not super op. It also explains how some of the actual mythical creatures can survive in the human world now. (Wendigos my beloved)

OMG DINOSAUR LORE?! YES! (what if kidding kinda If all the dinosaurs didn't die) Hahaha unless

(I answered this on my phone so I couldn't answer each paragraph because it wasn't clear sorry)

[joelwindows7]

Cardiac Extract

Pixiv 78405 (it.)

Nerplex blocked me, here's the bean. Reblogs of blogger who nerplex didn't block

What did I do wrong? Telling you to sauce URL offends you?

Man, I'm gonna be canceled here. I guess this shall be the time we act now. Love you all, gamers, who still with me of course.

Wait!

It, gamers, if you're here, pls don't angry just yet. Actually, the story is funny. Uhh a blogger, nerplex yes, said your name and others, but without sauce URL. Plus that person blocked me and of course no reason given.

Look, I'm trying to save your clout... I mean make you popular! Idk what's the say here, point is, I want to be the good example of how to credit properly, when I am really lazy. Well very easy! As possible, attribute sauce URL! That's it at least.

Again, above picture's not mine, there's your sauce who drew this. You're welcome. You must act too, don't stay there! Spread that sauce to other friends!! I beg you. Artists deserves respect, and thefts (same reuploader but did not sauce URL) deserves.. You got the idea.

Here, my subsidiary are making changes, and they're in the process of spilling the bean. Actually this subsidiary was the outlying connector to one my division, Archive Division. Not to be confused with Archive.org, that's different story.

So from now on, if you see your art reuploaded here (even it's still live on the sauce), pls don't cancel me, I beg you. Look I promise I attach the sauce URL of it. even my own art, all has URLs to source SVG, Blend, etc. We are the company of Sauce, we want gamers to know where did you downloaded this file.

Okay, to disrespectful gamers. You. You block me, you left no choice. I wanted to reblog and that's it. I never wanted to talk to you, unless you asked for it, or whatever neverary. I just commented your post, And tried my best to not offend you in assumption of universal ethic settings as far as I know. If you had it here, we'll it's your fault. I wanted to reblog but [tumblr] says it's gone, and you're not deactivated. Peck you. I can't fathom why did you do that, when you could've only & exclusively block scam spam bots instead. Want to me stop? Just unblock me, and the trouble is over. That's all I want.

I don't know and I cannot know why I'm blocked coz that happens to be the social media common ethics (that's really flawed). So want it or not, blocking, ................ means provocation. Right?.. I.. Won't see why!! HUH?! If I was making social media, I make sure they tell the reason why. Oh, this account is scammer, so I may a look at it to confirm. Oh, I just hate this guy, and I can take a look at it and then... No, not ban. Maybe send that person to class idk. This is just concept, more need to design.

Ok back to you again. Yeah. I'm sorry. I lost all my sanity. Everyday, the world.. derails my mental condition, through this. Idk if they got hacked.. or just.. hate me?

yeah. idk anymore. what do you think?

Huh, Yeah?

isn't queen gambit method may cause trouble to yourself?

.. Who said I'm gonna often post that [tumblr] url here? Well.. perhaps I don't have to, instead. Scroll down. Ctrl + F keyword of "block". You'll see. Okay you may not see it now. Soon. and more soon.

.

That's all for today. I'm sorry if there is mistake or whatever wrong here. Got comment, let us know, idk.

Edit:

Being resolved

Update soon

Edit 2:

Failed

Pls do not bad against

[reineyday]

i posted this mishanks fic where shanks takes calculus 1 as an elective for fun thinking rayleigh's gonna teach it only to be confronted with ray's TA mihawk teaching the class instead.

in the a/n i mentioned that mihawk's having a bad morning and shares an open-concept office with the other warlords, all doing their phd's in the same department, and someone asked what they were specializing in. i thought about it enough that i figured i'd just post my reply here too. 😂 i am but a humble bfa-haver, so if any of these topics seem wrong or unlikely, let me know! 🥲 it's all based on their devil fruits (if they have them).

i was thinking mihawk is probably getting a doctorate of philosophy in mathematics, inspired long ago by his swordsmanship practice (both in meditation and in analysis of movement and connection) and tendency toward logic and rational thinking. he also likes problem-solving. rayleigh has a joint appointment professor job at new world, and while he teaches mostly hard mathematics, he also teaches philosophy courses. mihawk is following a similar path of research, and thus chose him as a supervisor.

i think it might be interesting if boa was studying philosophy as related to the subject of love and logic. rayleigh is her supervisor as well, because he did his own thesis back in the day on picking apart aristotle's body of research in the modern lens, and she's focusing on aristotle's three sources of affection/types of objects that are loved and lovable (the good, the pleasant, and the useful). she probably has to be talked down from some heavy-handed metaphors on turning to stone lol.

croc is probably studying something that has to do with the physical properties and manipulation of sand, especially in its power to change topographies over time, and perhaps branching into individual uses of sand as a method of force. he probably thinks about sandblasters too much.

moria... hmm, sciography (study of shadows) and the neurological and psychological effects differently-shadowed spaces have on a person. sciography is something that mostly architects use when designing spaces, but he's interested more in the effect on one's psyche in (un)lit spaces as opposed to the art and design of it all.

kuma uuhhhh actually kuma's devil fruit is already pretty philosophical, seeing as how he can repel actual concepts. if you can repel pain and fatigue, what's stopping him from repelling something like gender, or time? so he could be doing research on human constructs in society and challenging the way society is structured, but that seems more like a humanities subject so maybe he's researching actual physics and delving into something extremely niche about how things get repelled on a molecular level, even by the human touch.

doffy's doing something in the physics field as well. something about gravity and thread and force and manipulation. no one's actually sure, they just know it always ends in him tying invisible string to literally anything and everything in the office and saying it's for his thesis whenever he pisses someone off, which is always. and yes, the worst thing about him is he's always getting good grades, which makes them wonder if it really IS for his thesis, which then makes them somehow even more pissed off, because there shouldnt be any good reason for tripping over all this goddamn thread all the time in the office. 🤦🏻‍♀️

and jinbe is studying movement in water and the human kinetics of it all, also inspired by the martial arts that he does. benefits of training in water, how it strengthens the muscles in different ways, etc. etc. mihawk is very interested to read his paper when he's finished haha.

[study-core-101]

Hii your blog is so inspiring and helpful ❤

I don't know if you already posted about this but I want advice :D

I'm studying the equivalent to High School in my country (two years only) and I'm trying to strive more. Lately I have realised that I never have free time. I spend the afternoons studying, then I have dinner with my parents, watch something on TV, go to sleep and at those hours I'm so tired that I don't have the energy to do anything else I enjoy. Meanwhile, I see my friends and others at my class going out, going to extracurriculars, getting things done faster...

I've always had the feeling that I only do the things I like during summer break.

I can't help but wonder how am I gonna do when I'm in collage (if I actually get there)!

I would like to ask you if you had any advice, or tips about managing time etc

Pd: sorry if this was too long, personal or if I made any gramatical mistakes lol

Hii, sorry it took me so long to answer! From what I heard, it sounds like so kind of burnout. I'm no expert on this topic, so I'm going to leave the links of the sources just in case! (x) (x)

One of main components it's exhaustation. Feeling tired all the time and having no energy. Not only it impacts the mental and physicial health, but the perfomance. This usually stems of being always "on", overwork culture/mentality, pressure (whether internal or external) and the dislike of the tasks. What I recommend is:

Actually rest. Do activities that make mentally rest or dont do any activity, just take some time for yourself. Listen to your favourite music, take a bath, do some breathing exercise. Relax. Here are some more mental rest activities.

Dont beat yourself for resting. A lot of times, we "rest" but it isnt actually rest, because instead of focusing on yourself you are worrying about not doing anything productive 24/7. That looks like rest, but it isnt, it is just more tiring. All the toxic productivity mentality has to go.

Schedule time to do nothing. Establish clear moments for resting.

Take breaks.

Prioritaze tasks. Yes, we all want to have everything done perfectly and complete, but sometimes that is just impossible. The best way to classify them in order is 1) urgent and important; 2) not urgent but important; 3) urgent but no important; and 4) not urgent not important.

Have a good sleep schedule.

Drink water and eat all your meals

Find a hobbie or something you are passionate or at least midly interested on. Something that fills you with joy and seek to. At the beggining it will feel like a waste of time, but once you find something, well, let's just say, try it.

Another thing is the mindset. Negative thinking is unmotivating and tiring. Switching to a more possitive mentality does wonders.There are a lot of ways to reframe negative thoughts, I'm not familiar with most of them so I cant really explain, but here is an article that explains on detail how to do it.

Even though exhaustation and mentality are key to feeling burn out, inefficiency also has an important role. There are millions of study methods, but not a single one works for every person. Maybe you use a "good" study technique, but it isnt the right one for you. I'd recommend trying new ways of studying you havent tried before, see if at least one works for you. I'm going to honest with you, I dont know a lot of methods, since i found the one that works with me I havent tried new ways, here is a list of study methods with explanations that I'm using to draft future posts. Here are the links for the posts are posted about blurting, feynman and pq4r, if any of those sound helpful.

SELF CARE!!!!! Self-care is so important. It's been a common theme in this post, but I will repeat it once more, take care of yourself.

If these are also helpful, I'll leave the links for previous posts about motivation to start, motivation in general, and a reward system for motivation. Not all the tips in those posts will work, actually, some of them may contradict with what I just said, but I posted them with a different situation in mind. Take the tips that will help you and ignore the ones you think will just make it worse.

Hope this helps and good luck!

[anonymouspuzzler]

Sorry if this is a strange question but are you going to school for non art stuff? How do you handle doing art but also doing like sciencey stuff? I want to do marine biology but I also really love art and kinda want to go to art school

I am in school for non-art stuff! I actually went to art school originally, dropped out for a few years because of Various Factors including "just generally not a great fit for me", ended up finishing my bachelor's in more of a humanities/liberal arts direction instead (with a side of natural sciences) and now I'm getting an MA in museum studies! even with that though I've taken various classes that require me to produce or engage with art in some form, and not having art as my "main" job or focus makes it MUCH easier and better for me to draw and be creative on my own time in ways that are more fulfilling and less burnout-inducing. also I'll be real, art and science/academia in general are WAY more connected than you think - they're all just methods we have to understand and interpret the world around us, and communicate that to others! so if you love both, chances are you'll be able to use both in whatever it is you do.

honestly, what's best and right for you is going to vary WILDLY depending on who YOU are and what YOU want/need to do with your life. art school wasn't a good fit for me, but for a lot of other people it's a space where they flourish! and every school is different, and even different teachers at the same school are different - some are nightmares, some are wonderful mentors! if you have the means, I'd definitely say to consider going to a community college, or taking online or community classes, where you can experiment with multiple subjects and fields before committing to something like art school, with all the expense and commitment that implies. (and for that matter, you'd also be surprised how robust art programs at non-art schools can be! in many ways the art classes I took at a non-art school were more helpful and fulfilling than anything i did in art school.)

[theplaceicommitmysins]

18+ He’s The Next One: 4 - F!Reader X L Lawliet

No gendered language is used (Probably). The reader is described as wearing a panties and a skirt.

Wordcount: 5.4k

Contains: Second person POV, NSFT, BDSM vibes, Frottage, Power Imbalance, Vaginal Penetration, Vaginal Fingering, The reader is a serial killer, Dirty Talk, attempted murder (barely), Sub Space, Kink Not Negotiated.

Your situationship with L is built on a solid foundation of two key things; Mistrust, and stalking. So when L leaves to go outside of his own volition of course you follow him. The old-timey, absurdly expensive car he’s driven around in makes it beyond easy to do so, even on foot. All you have to do is ask literally any passerby if they've seen an old rich person car and you get pointed in the right direction.

This method leads you all the way to To-Oh University.

To-Oh is impressive enough, you suppose. It's Known for its output of lawyers and government employees as well as its high bar to be accepted, but you just don’t see what could be in it for L.

You doubt any student, or professor for that matter, could hold the frogs picky attention so what reason could he possibly have to be here?

The only thing L cares about is catching Kira, and Kira is Light Yagami so…

Looking around at the well dressed flock of teenagers filtering in through the front of the building you rapidly sort through and mentally discard anybody with irrelevant traits; Height, build, gender, hair color-

“The entrance exam is starting in ten minutes, so you’d better hurry up!”

He’s probably already inside-

“It’s fine. I planned to get here three minutes before the test. I hate waiting. I’m here too early.”

It’s going to feel so fucking good watching the light, heh, leave his eyes.

Top button comes undone. Skirt is rolled up a notch. You fall in step with him, a calculated, admiring smile gracing your features, “You don’t like to waste time either, huh?”

If elevator eyes were enough to make your hit list you’d be dragging Kira off the path this very moment to turn this animal into goddamn meat...

But then L would have the book thrown at you, and you can be patient.

Theoretically.

You haven’t tried before but other people do it all the time so it’s probably easy.

“There was less foot traffic than I anticipated.” Kira's eyes flick past you and up and you follow his gaze, seeing nothing but feeling your skin prickle with tension for a reason you can't discern.

Unconsciously you take a step closer to Kira, and want to stomp his foot when he smirks. Instead you give him a close lipped smile, cheeky, and nudge his arm with an elbow. “So, what are you going to study, Mr. Impatient?”

“Criminal Law. My father is the Chief of the NPA,” Name-dropping son of a self-righteous old bast-, “I suppose stopping criminals is a legacy for me.” He smiles at you in a way you know is supposed to be disarming, his voice sounding sheepish in a way that’s so fake you have to bring a hand up to your mouth to cover a scowl.

Forcing a giggle you play off the gesture as shyness, “Wow… I knew a lot of important people come from To-Oh but I didn’t realize I’d be meeting any so soon.” You look up at him from under your lashes, a practiced move that’s melted many predators before him and undoubtedly will do the same for many after, “Maybe we’ll be in the same class. It’d be nice to have a friend right off the bat, don’t you think?”

The incredulity in Kira’s expression is almost- Scratch that, is extremely insulting as he asks you, a hint of humor in his voice, “You’re here for the criminal law program?”

If I were a self obsessed man child with a god complex that’s gotten murderous what would I want to hear?

“Sure am!” You make sure your big fake smile reaches your voice, pretending not to notice his condescending tone, “I’m going to become a prosecutor and work my way up to a position as a judge. I’m going to become someone who actually sees to it that criminals get what they deserve. I-” You let out a squeak and wave your hands frantically, adopting an embarrassed affectation as you rapidly speak, “I didn’t mean to ramble! Please forget I said that…”

“Forget it? Why?”

“Well… A lot of people think it’s a bit excessive… Y’know, wanting to see people punished?” You make a point to wilt like the helpless flower he’s labeling you as in his itty bitty mind.

“Well I think it’s admirable.” No shit. “You've seen a problem with society and you’re actually doing something to better not only yourself but the whole world. Or- The whole of Japan I should say.” He rubs the back of his neck at what he likely sees as a minor slip.

And what you see as the blatant projection you were fishing for.

“Exactly!” You need to seem flustered. L’s wide eyes as he leans back and pants out ragged breaths, cum cooling on his skin- That’ll do it. “Maybe we have more in common than our dislike of waiting?”

Kirasmiles, and the calculating way it comes across makes you feel a little nauseated, “It would seem so.”

You’re already at the room the exam is going to take place in and to seal your progress on this target you bump the back of your hand against his, quickly linking his pinky with your own, “I’ll see you at the opening ceremony, Mr. Impatient.” Before all but fluttering away, taking a seat near the back, off to the side.

The security here is kinda shit, you not. You didn’t even have to actually sign up.

The seat you chose is perfect for your needs. You can see L, seeing Kira.

Papers are passed around and the proctor calls for the applicants to start, and with that permission you begin to doodle absentmindedly, filling the page with eyeballs and hands and random objects you can see around the room. It’s around the same time that Kira turns around that you recognize something in the back of L’s posture and lean to the side to see-

L, if you don’t get your nasty ass goddamn grippers off the fucking desk-

Your expression twists in disgust as you stare in open mouthed horror before making eye contact with Kira.

You point at the backs of L’s head and mouth, “Life sentence.”

Kira whips back around to face the front of the classroom so fast you’re surprised you can’t hear his neck crack.

—

You leave before the exam is called, not wanting to confront, or more accurately be confronted by, L in public. Slowing to a stop you look into a store window…

—-

For the betterment of humanity you buy a pack of mens socks.

—

It’s agony waiting for the entrance ceremony, languishing on a plush couch and being brought an endless parade of sweets by an attentive butler, all the while counting down the days until you’ll be close to your target again. But you persevere, your patience staggering, a testament to your unparalleled maturity and poise.

You ball up the paper remnants of a sugar packet and try to toss it into Yagami-san’s tea from across the room.

It plonks off the back of his head and he turns around, shouting, “Will you stop that?!”

“I’ll run out of wrappers eventually if that’s what you’re asking.”

L clears his throat to hide a laugh.

—

“Would you care to join me, M.” You pout, he knows your name but has refused to say it since giving you the moniker, ‘for your safety.’

Jerk.

“Join you?”

“Watari will be driving me to To-Oh university’s entrance ceremony. If you wish to arrive on time it may behoove you to arrive in the car, rather than behind it.”

“... You’re no fun.”

Watari opens the back door for you.

—

You make a point to have Watari drop you off two blocks away from To-Oh, not wanting to be seen arriving with L, and thank the man profusely. This time you don’t sit far in the back, you sit exactly one seat behind L and wait patiently. You're unsurprised when Kira takes the seat next to him, front and center like the Special Boy he is.

You don’t actually pay any attention to the ceremony, utterly indifferent until Kira and someone called Ryuga are called to the stage to give a speech, and Kira and L stand up.

Your frog is a fucking moron, too stupid to know when to play dumb. If he doesn’t do this right he’ll end up on Kira’s radar.

Without thinking about it you start biting your thumbnail, repeatedly nibbling at the very end.

The speech is as blandly inspirational as any other, although you can’t help but want to laugh at both the way L holds his notes and the tone he reads them with. If he weren’t intentionally putting himself in so much danger you’d be ecstatic, laughing your arse off at the show he’s putting on.

But he’s standing next to Kira who’s looking at him like something sticky attached to the bottom of his shoe, like he's subtle, so you bite your nail harder instead.

When the two of them are coming back to their seats you can see L talking to the back of Kira’s head and you want to pick up their vacated folding chairs and throw them.

You bite through the nail. And since you can’t very well spit in public, you swallow. Ew.

Exit strategies, character analysis, mental manipulations, and desperate acts of violence all flit through your mind as you try to think of a way to undo whatever damage L is undoubtedly doing all without knowing the details and you hate this frog, you hate this frog, you hate this frog-

“I want to tell you, I’m L.”

God damn it!

The pause that follows is tense and you hold your breath as you wait to hear what happens next.

“If you are who you say you are, then you have nothing but my respect and admiration.”

Snort.

The sound makes both Kira and L turn around and you quickly pull your phone out, looking at the screen and pretending to have read a text.

L waggles his fingers at you in greeting before continuing his conversation with Kira, as if he’d never been interrupted.

You tune them out, already knowing what needs to be done, everything else is just fat to be trimmed.

You need to kill Kira before he can kill L.

Only you get to kill L.

—

You make a point to stay out of sight when L leaves with Watari, waiting for them to round the corner before you half jog to catch up with Kira.

“Hey! Yagami-kun!” The grin you direct his way is stunning, you know because you’ve practiced it enough times in the mirror, and you hug his arm when you reach him, “I knew for sure you’d get in but I didn’t realize you were, like, an actual genius!”

Kira smiles, brown eyes looking blood red to you as you give his arm a light squeeze before letting go, skin crawling. “I’m glad you had so much confidence in me. Although, I can’t accept being called a genius when I only tied for first place.”

You huff and scrunch up your nose a bit, “I’m gonna go ahead and assume you’ve got more emotional and social intelligence than the weird guy and add it on top. You’re definitely better.” Looking side to side, you make a show of checking that no one is watching before leaning in close to his ear and whispering, “Did you see him put his toes on the desk?”

Kira laughs. “Unfortunately, yes.”

“So, which way are you headed?” You’re at the gates now, intentionally standing slightly too close to the murderous ego maniac.

He points a thumb over his shoulder to the left, “I’m taking the train that way to head home.”

“Me too!" A lie. "Well actually it’s my bus route, but it’s in the same direction. Wanna walk together for a bit?”

“That works for me.”

—

You keep up a string of conversation with the mass murderer, bubbly and babbling as you follow him towards the train station. There’s a bus station next to a cafe about three blocks from the metro, and you know from experience that particular cafe has metal cutlery. So convenient for you, especially since your bags are checked any time you enter or leave HQ.

When you reach the bus station you smile at Kira and tug his sleeve to get him to stop with you, “This is me. Thanks for walking with me.” He smiles back and pats your hand.

“We could make a habit of it, since we’ll be classmates.”

“That sounds great! I’m looking forward to it.” L panting a broken moan into your shoulder as he angles his hips to get just a little deeper- there’s the blush. “I’ll see you in class?”

“Definitely.” He smiles one last time in that way you know he intends to be charming before turning to leave.

The moment Kira rounds the corner you set a brisk pace back the way you came from, passing close by the outdoor dining of the cafe and swiping a cloth napkin from one table and use it to grab a knife from the next. It really is a nice cafe.

You turn to the alley between buildings and make your way through, parallel to the route you know Kira will need to take to reach the station. However as soon as you make it out of the mouth of the alley on the other side and turn to intercept Kira a hand covers your mouth and you are dragged back into it, shoved against the nearest wall, stucco unfortunately, leaving scratches on your cheek.

A second hand grabs your wrist where you’re already maneuvering your knife to stab him and pinches at it oddly, causing your hand to spasm and the cutlery to drop. You thrash against the grip and growl, biting hard into the flesh this scum had the nerve to put so close to your teeth and-

“I’m glad you had the foresight to put something between you and the would-be murder weapon.”

Oh for the love of-

You reach up and tap the back of his hand two times, and L lets go.

“L. What. The. Fuck?”

“I could ask you the same thing... Save for the L. And I’d likely use more robust vocabulary-“

“Save it frog.” You twist your neck so you can look at him, and he blinks in shock. “I wouldn’t be doing this on such short notice if you hadn’t told Kira who you are to his goddamn face.”

“I have taken all the necessary precautions before making contact, and you shouldn't be doing this,” he kicks the knife further down the alley, “At all.”

He… He actually sounds angry.

The pout you can feel forcing its way onto your face as your lip threatens to jut out is humiliating.

“You’re in danger.” It isn’t supposed to come out as whiny as it sounds.

“Yes.”

Don’t cry.

Don’t cry.

Don’t you fucking-

Long, thin fingers come up and swipe gently beneath your eyes, one at a time, feeling wetness there.

“You are upset by the thought of me dying.” There’s a hint of something to his words, whether it’s the tone or inflection you can’t decide, that makes you think of one word. One word spoken softly while you knelt at his feet-

“Kira doesn’t get to have you.” The words are bitten out, the growl of anger, of possessiveness, undercut by the watery waver to your voice.

You hadn’t realized he was still holding your wrist until he tightens his grip, squeezing down until it aches.

“Nor will he have you.”

The ‘you’re mine’ is unspoken, on both your parts.

You can hear the dull hum of an engine and tires on pavement and turn to see Watari pulling the car up. When L leads you by your wrist into the back of it, grip turning gentle, you don’t protest.

“Headquarters, Watari.” Is all L says before pressing a button that rolls up the car's divider. He buckles you in like some kind of child but doesn’t bother doing the same for himself like… Some other kind of child.

The silence between you is thick, highlighted by every creak of the leather seats as you shift uncomfortably look out the dark tint of the windows at each street you pass, pretending you can’t see L’s reflection just as clearly as the people and buildings outside. But you can, and you focus on it, tracing his features, expressionless to most, and finding very little to read into. It’s upsetting. You’re normally much better at this, and it strikes you that you may very well only be able to read him the way you do because he lets you. Something achy in your chest twists at the thought.

“I had thought the terms of our agreement were clear, but it seems I may have left out a crucial detail.”

His eyes lock on yours in the reflection and it makes you feel embarrassed to think about how obvious you are to him, especially contrasted with how opaque he is to you.

“Until my heart stops beating, you will not under any circumstances take another life.”

“I hate you.”

His mouth falls open and with it his expression. Shock?

“… Truly?”

You’ve never heard him sound small before.

Fuck.

The click of your seat belt buckle breaks the silence as you quickly shift your way over to him, shoving at his knees until there's enough space for you to seat yourself in his lap, which you do. “No.”

The honesty is uncomfortable for you and you suspect it’s equally as uncomfortable for him so you add on, “And you should be able to tell that since you’re such a master detective.” Mockery. Familiar territory.

He braces his feet against the back of Watari’s seat and slouches further, bringing his knees back up to support you more and wrapping his arms around your shoulders, pulling you close until your face is pressed into his neck.

“I do not hate you either.” He speaks it into your hair, and you feel a kiss pressed against the side of your head, so you respond with a kiss of your own on the only spot you can reach. His neck.

L shudders beneath you, then lets out a shaky breath, arms tightening their hold like he thinks you have somewhere else to be before ducking to murmur against your ear, “The divider is not nearly as soundproof as I would prefer so I will have to whisper, but I wish to make my intentions entirely clear...”

You nod against his neck to indicate that you heard him and try to turn to kiss his jaw but he reaches up with one of his hands and grabs your hair in a tight grip, holding you still.

“When we return to head quarters, I am going to fuck you.”

The breath you take in through your nose in your surprise is louder than the words he spoke. There’s a heat in your cheeks that you can feel spreading down your chest and lower as you inhale shakily, before taking a calculated risk and rolling your hips against his as you murmur, “How?”

His hand briefly tightens in your hair and you can feel your pussy getting wet, “How am I going to fuck you?”

You nod, and he exhales slowly, you inhaling in time with him, your chests moving together.

“I think I would like to fuck you like this,” the hard press of his interested cock is made obvious as his hips roll up against yours, denim jeans against cotton panties and you bite your lip to stifle any verbal reaction, “You will be on top but I will be holding you still. I’ll take my time I think, maybe have you ride my thigh first so I can observe the pace you’d like me to set.”

You’re hips are rocking back in forth in small little ruts now, panties clinging to your needy cunt with your body's reaction to his voice and the press of his cock, “Please-“

“Of course I won’t fuck you how you’d like me to.”

Pardon?

“You’ve been bad,” Holy fucking shit.

L’s hand tightens in your hair as he pulls your head back to meet your eyes, his own heavily lidded as he murmurs, his lips nearly brushing your own. “I’m going to fuck you slowly. I’m going to teach you patience.”

“You’re a sadist.” You speak solely to feel your lips brushing against his.

“I’ve been called worse things. Less accurate things as well.”

The car rolls to a very sudden stop and if it weren’t for L’s arms around you and his legs behind you, you would have fallen in between the front and back seats, folded in half like a humiliated napkin.

When Watari opens the door for L, you’re back in your own seat, resenting L’s composure as you shake like a leaf, wondering how visibly fucked out you look for someone who hasn’t even been properly touched yet. You’d read Watari’s expression to find out if you could bring yourself to meet the man's eyes. He holds out a hand to help you out of the car and you thank him quietly before trailing behind L like some kind of stray cat he’s fed.

The elevator ride is excruciatingly long to you, even though it can’t have been more than thirty seconds and as soon as you make it into the hotel room the task force calls headquarters you and L head directly for the door to the bedroom, not acknowledging the presence of the others. You try very hard not to think about how embarrassing it’s going to be to face them later.

L places his hand on your lower back as he walks beside you, pressing you forwards until you’re in the room, looking at meticulously made sheets, and you know that this is going to be the first time since L stationed himself here that he lies in that bed, the sheets likely immaculate not due to Watari or one of the hotel’s cleaning staff coming in and making the bed, but entirely because of disuse.

You can hear him kick the door shut behind you and the hand on your back slides down past your skirt, to bare thighs, fingers dragging upwards, rucking up the fabric until he reaches the top of your panties and presses beneath, hand grabbing and pulling at soft flesh before making his way down once more, fingers cupping you as they glide forwards between your legs to press into your wet cunt.

The pressure you feel as he fills you, starts to roll his wrist against your backside, as he repeatedly rocks his slender hand against you. Starting with two fingers stings a little, but it’s a good sort of sting so you lets your hips rock back against him, trying to pull him in further, the sound of your wetness around his fingers loud in the quiet of the room.

His free arm wraps around you and pulls you in close to him, standing at the entrance of the room and holding you like he needs a hug all while fucking his fingers into your cunt, drawing vulgar sounds from between your legs and between your teeth. When his lips press against your ears your cunt clenches down around him, warm and hot and he's gotten you so fucking wet even before he starts to speak again.

And then he does. “If I could keep you like this I would. If Kira would simply spontaneously drop dead and save us the luxury of having to catch him I would steal you away with me back home. I would keep you as the most satisfying reward I have ever received for solving a case.” L’s lips trail down your neck and you let out a sound that's painfully close to a sob as he draws his fingers from your cunt and from your panties before walking you forwards towards the bed, turning when he reaches it and sitting you in his lap, facing the closed door.

One of his thighs is pressed between your own and his arms settle around your shoulders in a lazy hug as he nuzzles his nose against the side of your cheek, “We can get started once you've cum." He speaks in such a matter of fact way, keeping his voice light and unbothered, even though you’d already felt the hard press of his cock behind you.

You want to be a brat about it, to talk back and throw a fit, to deny him the satisfaction of taking the lead and to ride him till he’s shooting blanks and begging you to give him a break.

Or more accurately, you want to want that.

The press of his denim clad thigh against your needy aching clit, through your drenched panties, slick with cum, makes your head feel floaty, and you move with the feeling, leaning forwards and bracing both hands above his knee before your start to slowly roll your hips back and forwards, humping yourself against him and letting out little breathy noises from between parted lips.

One of L’s thumbs starts to brush gently back and forth against your shoulder and this time you do let out a sob, the sound turning into a whine as L presses the ball of his foot down on the floor, slowly rocking his leg up against your pussy.

His lips brush against the side of his neck as he murmurs, “You’re doing so well. Doing so well for me.” His breath is coming out heavier against your neck and if you could focus on anything other than the slow pulsing of warmth and pressure and pleasure against your cunt you’d feel pride in that fact, but all you can do is what you’re told.

So you ride his thigh, shuddering out a gasp as one of your hands trails down his towards yourself, fingertips tracing against the wet spot forming on his jeans. Your mouth hangs open wider as you let out a soft moan in between pants for breath that don't seem to do anything at all.

That’s all me.

“Does it feel nice?” There’s a hum in L’s voice, he sounds curious as he leans forwards, hooking his chin over your shoulder to look down at where you’re getting yourself off against him and you nod. You can feel his smile against your neck “I’m glad.”

You stay like that for a while, L holding you softly, and you grinding slowly against him, your hips slowly picking up pace until the heat inside of you builds, and builds, and builds, and-

You cum.

“Very good.” His voice sounds far away to you, far away from where you’re floating and you let out another sob, hands reaching up desperately to cling to his arms.

Why is he so far away?

The sound is muddled and murmured and it takes you a while to drift back into the hotel room, into yourself, into L’s arms and when you do you find yourself lying on his chest further up the bed, still straddling him, but now faced towards him instead of away.

“There you are.” He’s back. Or maybe you are?

When his hand comes up to brush away tears you hadn’t noticed on your cheeks you lean into the touch, turning slightly to press a kiss against the palm of his hand, and taste salt.

“Would you like to stop now? That looked like it was a lot for you.”

Immediately, you open your mouth to say yes but the word doesn’t come out. Why not?

You’re still a little floaty as you try to figure out what you’re feeling, to find the words to articulate and pinpoint what exactly you want and it takes a few moments, L waiting patiently all the while.

“No. Want you.”

L nods at that, a small smile replacing a look you realize was one of concern, and the hand on your cheek trails down until he can reach your shirt, stripping you of it quickly. Your skirt is next, and then your undergarments, and you expect him to stare at your body, more exposed to his gaze than it's ever been before, but it’s your face he looks at. He studies.

“If this becomes too much for you, if you start to go away again, promise you will tell me.”

You look at him beneath you, you’re still shaking a little, fully undressed, and he’s fully clothed. The only sign of what you’d been doing so far is the surprisingly large wet patch you’d left on his jeans.

“Promise.” You respond. Reaching out and grabbing one of his hands to lock a pinky with yours.

When you start to let go of his hand he snatches it back, intertwining your pinkies once more and holding them together like that, his free hand coming up to your face, drawing you in far enough that he can kiss you.

Earl Grey with too much sugar, chocolate and whipped cream, strawberries. He tastes like dessert and you sigh with contentment as his lips press against your own. They’re thin and a little dry but the soft press of them against yours warms your bare skin against the chill of the room and you bring your own free hand to his chest, only to inhale sharply in surprise at what you feel.

His heart is racing. Somehow it's never occurred to you that was something that could happen to him.

You press more heavily into the kiss, lips parting as you lick against his own, and let out a pleased him as his tongue meets yours. The kiss stays soft for a while but inevitably grows more heated.

Dragging your hand down his stomach you reach the button of his jeans and stop, only continuing when you feel his pinky squeezing your own, then flick the button open and drag the zipper down.

 His cock feels good in your hand, soft skin slick with pre-cum and warm to the touch, but it feels even better when you raise your hips up far enough that you can position the head of his cock against your entrance and then slowly push down against him, sinking into the full feeling of his cock pressing into you, until you’re once again sat in his lap.

The only sounds in the room are the quiet creaking of the bed frame and the slow wet glide of your cunt around him as you roll your hips down against him and he rocks his hips up into you, and the smack of your lips parting as you catch your breath before coming back together again, tongues teasing each others mouths.

You aren’t sure how long the two of you stay like this, moving and breathing with each other, but it’s as slow as he said it would be.

You wouldn’t call what the two of you are doing fucking, though.

You don’t have the courage to call it what it is.

When L cums, he says your name. Not M. Not any other alias you’d used before. He says your name. Whispers it into your mouth and you breathe the word in from his. Tears fall from your eyes at the intensity of it all and you cum with him, pussy wrapped around his cock in a wet plush press, like a kiss.

You feel sticky with the way you cling to L, all tears and sweat and spit, as you tremble in his arms, cunt continuing to twitch around his softening cock as the last of your orgasm washes over you and fades away. L holds you through the whole thing, his own arms shaking and his breath as quick as yours as he comes down alongside you and it’s quiet for a while.

It takes a few long moments for you to fully come back to yourself, noticing an orange glow starting to filter through the sheer curtains of the hotel's bedroom windows and realizing that the sun must be setting.

L looks more alive like this, the warmth of the light of golden hour bringing a healthy glow to his otherwise corpse-like pallor and you find yourself just staring at him, taking the sight in as his breathing evens out to a healthier pace, dark eyes fluttering open to land on yours, gazing back.

Under his attention you expect to feel studied like an insect, or dissected like a frog, but all you feel now is all you felt when…

‘Hagoromo.’

Before you can really think the words through You hear yourself, in a voice soft enough to fit the silence the two of you soak in, “Until your heart no longer beats?”

“Yes.”

And it’s clear to you why you’re here. What your purpose is.

You’re here so that even if L loses, Kira doesn’t get to win.

“Okay.”

L and you never once let go of each other's pinkies.

[johnslittlespoon]

It just makes so much sense that you were writing in 2013, you have the unhinged vibe that the golden fics from that era had.

I'm just here to compliment you really lol, mostly because I am giving a try to write a lil something for the first time and god I can only dream of ever being able to write as good as you. I've been writing poems and music for years now but i find writing actual coherent storys with characters and dialogue so so hard.

I was wondering if you have any tips, or like little rules you follow when you write.

all the love, xxx

🌷

I'M GONNA CRYYYY this was the sweetest thing in the world to wake up to wtf wtf <333 thank you SO much, i really appreciate this wahh my heart :'))) but also you are SILLY. don't compare yourself to others!! if we all did that constantly we'd never get anything written!! there are SO many authors i adore on here that will always have me chasing the "i wish i could write like that" feeling and it's a great motivator but alsooo at the end of the day. you gotta fall in love with your own words and characters and stories <33

and i feel that so much!! we are twinsss, i also started out writing poems and music and then realized i had stories i wanted to tell that wouldn't fit in shorter form, then discovered fanfic in middle school in the early '10s and it was all downhill from there LOL. truly such a golden era tho oh my god. growing up reading the hat fic and borderline illegible wattpad stories was certainly... formative!

yapping ahead vv (i don't have much advice bc i'm still just learning as i go but hopefully some stuff i picked up on can be a bit helpful!)

i have zero method to the madness when writing so it's a relief to know it doesn't come off that way LOL but i do have a few little things that i follow and i always look for them when beta–ing as well! they're pretty small technical things and they're generally up to personal preference, but some of them come from authors i admire and i think they can really take anyone's writing up a notch <3

i don't feel qualified to give advice because i'm just raw–dogging everything lmao i've never taken classes or anything, so take all this yapping with a grain of salt bc it's just what's worked for me!

– i try to use descriptors like "the man" or "the blond" or "his friend" etc sparingly. i wish i could remember the source, but i read a great piece about why it's better to just go with the character's name 99% of the time, and then i went through so many of my works to edit them and i felt so much more confident in my writing afterwards– it made a big difference in readability (imo).

ofc there are exceptions, like if the name of a character is unknown, or if there are too many names being thrown around in one sentence and a "the man" or "the soldier" etc just sits nicer. i definitely still use them occasionally! but it does sometimes put some distance between the reader and the story when those descriptors are used too often instead of names, so it's a good thing to keep an eye out for when it comes to flow. sometimes less or more or whateva ??

– sorta on the topic of less is more, i love challenging myself to show vs tell when i can! whether it's by keeping dialogue short and letting actions speak instead (can add to intimacy/realism– we communicate so much through body language yk), through metaphors (literally how my whole '#john egan is dog coded' fic was born LOL), or describing feelings rather than spelling them out (his heart ached vs he was sad, his pulse raced vs he was scared, you get the gist). you said you've been writing poems so i feel like stuff like that would already probably come easily to you tho! <3

– this guide on ao3 is great for smut writers! whether someone's a beginner or just looking for ways to elevate the filth, i found it really helpful, it's a fun read as well lol. it calls out stereotypes/cliches and teaches you how to reword them, gives lists of slang and reactionary words, do's and don't's, etc. i don't follow everything in it but that's the beauty of writing; we all have things that work for us and things that don't and that's so okay. :-)

– in the same way that artists use references to practice and find their style, you can do that with writing too! i know a lot of writers have a doc or note where they jot down stylistic things they find while reading that they'd like to emanate, or words they want to use, specific phrases, descriptors, etc. if i'm reading a fic and find an auditory descriptor i like, i might take note of it, stuff like that. sorta like a text document version of a pinterest board!

– thesaurus.com is my best friend truly. often going with the 'simplest' version of a word makes for smoothest reading so someone isn't taken out of the story being like wtf does that word mean lol but sometimes things can feel repetitive, or like there just needs to be a little bit more spice; i probs go back and forth btwn my doc and thesaurus a dozen times an hour tbh.

that's all i can think of rn and ik those are pretty basic so i'm sorry about that!! i really do just kinda write what evokes emotions in myself, and then i hit post and hope it translates over to whoever is reading too :') drawing from your own experiences if you can/really sitting with what the characters would be feeling in whatever scenario you're writing is probably the most powerful way to present what you see in your mind.

i have a hard time writing about emotions/things i haven't personally experienced, so i usually stray away from it out of fear of not getting across what i want to, but some people are great at winging it and putting themselves in unfamiliar shoes so!! it's again just personal preference really.

and alsooo be kind to yourself! i'm an anxious wreck every time i post any of my writing, i am very much not confident when posting new fics and i agonize over my docs so much and trash a lot of works, but i know at the end of the day i can't grow or learn if i don't get the words down, and i can't get feedback or gain confidence if i don't post. becoming your own hype man and giving yourself the opportunity to improve is essential <33

sooo much love and best of luck!!! lmk if you end up writing smth, i'd love to read it (◠‿◠✿)

[heart-forge]

interested in yr starfield take. played a lot of skyrim as a teen as one does but am not per se a bethesda fan and am mostly bemused by how little i have seen anyone talking about starfield either way in my social circles

well listen this with the important distinction that I am a Bethesda fan. Todd wrapped his chess-master's hands around my throat as a child and has not let go, so perhaps it's me that is biased, but I've been asking for years for a Starfield-esque game and I will not complain now that they've given it to me.

The critical like friction point I think with Starfield and mainstream gaming is that it's an FPS that isn't an FPS. I rarely had to actually fight outside of space flight mechanics. Most plot-based fights could be avoided with a keen enough charisma-or-whatever-space-equivalent skill. I think overall Starfield's flaw was Cyberpunk's flaw in a much more professional setting: it didn't commit enough to what it wanted to do, and by doing so added some watered down stuff that didn't work. Starfield wanted to be an exploration game: No Man's Sky, Garden of the Sea, something that's focused on studying the flora and fauna.

But also they doubled down on settlement building, something that people only wanted to use to make themselves home bases in Fallout 4 and otherwise didn't enjoy as a method of resource management (unless there was some bethesda forum silent majority: generally I gauge whether something is broadly popular or unpopular by asking my brother if it annoyed him dsfkjhds). And then also there was combat, but not just the ship combat which was the real novelty, but also base level FPS combat? But only sometimes.

And then of course there were the procedurally generated worlds which everyone knew immediately was not going to work, because No Man's Sky had already fumbled that hurdle. Bethesda narrative structure is not suitable for random distribution: they excel with specific and focused quest lines in limited, fleshed out locations (ie Shivering Isles, particular abandoned Vault side quests in Fallout 3, Rivenspire in ESO) and become overly generic and repetitive once they remove that element (all the busywork in Skyrim, all the backtracking in Starfield).

This is a problem with a lot of AAA video games as time goes on because...they don't want to commit to genre. What if someone doesn't like that genre? Then they won't buy the game. And it's gotten to the point where games are starting to flop because the mechanics are so broadly generalized and bloated that even the interesting stuff isn't relevant enough to do more than annoy players. I love scanning things in Starfield, I loved scanning them enough that they were fully researched, I loved finding different planets with variations on gravity...but there was literally no reason to explore. There could have been: I was in a guild of explorers. They could have done so much to make it worth my while to explore planets, but instead it was a radiant quest that I didn't even get the first time I played.

I've asked for a long, long time for a video game where my core purpose was not "bloodthirsty fighter itching to kill something with a gun or several guns or a knife or a sword murder kill death death death I don't understand magic I just want to cull my enemies". I hate playing ESO and getting treated like a barbarian in every interaction. I hate being railroaded into being a combat marine in Mass Effect (and was thrilled when Andromeda gave me cool biotics like everyone else got except for Shepard even if Shepard was a biotics class). I want class variation, even if we need to take money away from fidelity and put it into narrative so I can have someone treat me like I'm not a complete drooling neanderthal even if I specifically pick a magic or stealth class.

Starfield gave me that. I was able to pick dialogue options that reflected my skills. If I had points in geology, I could reassure Barrett that the story that the mining company fed him about his husband's misconduct was implausible. I could scold people for improper storage and care of relics even without sinking any particular skills. I could choose to be in religious awe of the relic visions, I could choose to be scientifically fascinated by them, I could choose to be power hungry about them. It's the most flexibility that's ever been allowed in a Bethesda game that I've ever played, and combat was so unfocused that I frequently forgot that fighting was even an option.

I really liked building my ship. I liked that it was a bit of a puzzle when it came to connecting things. The UI was awful and there wasn't much of a tutorial, but I said already that I'm a Bethesda fan. I liked ship combat once I got the hang of it, I liked the act of flying the ship around space. A lot of people said "Starfield gets really good...twelve hours in har har har" which I don't think is strictly fair. Starfield gets good once you figure out how to do stuff and use stuff the way it's supposed to be done and used.

Overall I think Starfield was a really positive experiment in trying something new with the FPS genre. Not everything worked which is grounds for a mass murder-suicide when it comes to how level-headedly gamers react to things that are really popular that they're just not clicking with (seriously I think a lot of problems in the game industry could be at least alleviated if we unlocked the 'just because you want to like it does not mean a fundamental right of yours is being violated if you don't' skill tree), but I like that a company the size of Bethesda is still kind of trying new things. Some quests REALLY hit me in the face: there's one where you're hunting down a relic and find a permeable reality where you have to decide to canonize one particular timeline over another, which involves a lot of switching through timelines in order to advance through to the next room. That was incredible, and meant so much more to me than any generic fetch quest. Grinding mechanics are difficult: not all players like to grind, but if you leave off grinding altogether then it becomes more complicated to balance for difficulty, especially if your goal is to present specific challenges to your player.

Anyway I thought Starfield was fun, I thought the story was good, I think fidelity is overrated, I think that many problems with video games would be solved by carefully integrated accessibility features, and I watched multiple videos criticizing Starfield for things that have always been true across Bethesda games (ie "why do guards know I've stolen and what I've stolen between different planets" because that's how Bethesda has always handled theft mechanics, maybe you just don't like Bethesda games and don't have an immutable human right to frictionlessly play and enjoy every video game that your friends are also playing (not YOU anon just the general you)). There's plenty of things to criticize but at this point I think some people just start nitpicking for nitpicking's sake. It's okay that some people didn't like it. They don't have to, but much like not liking something doesn't make it evil, not liking something also doesn't make it bad.

Overall though I'm not surprised that no one has heard much about it: it ran terribly without many options outside of modding to fix that issue. Maybe things are different over on Reddit, but I'm willing to wager that a lot of PC gamers have outdated systems. I said it about Cyberpunk and I'll say it here too: it's nice that your NASA computer can run one billion fps with high detail shadows and 4K reflections. Mine needs to be able to turn that shit off or else I just can't play your game.

As far as what you haven't heard about the main plot, I'll say this: it's a very, very interesting twist on infinite replayability. Nothing is truly infinitely replayable, but Starfield makes a very bold and frankly fascinating leap into how to achieve such a thing, to the point where before I found the ending I was like "it would have been better to redirect resources from x to the ending in order to achieve this insane thing" and while it's not perfect, I was SHOCKED that they just...literally do. It's so fascinating that I'm kind of surprised that no one talked about it.

[bloodyknucklesforme]

remember how I said I wanted to do an AU where Johnny survives MWIII but is in a coma and Nina has to take care of him? Here's a random snippet

Nina drummed her fingers against the desk, staring hard at the question on her computer screen. It was only a practice test but her anxiety shot up with each question. It seemed dumb really considering everything.

"You don't happen to know the answer do you?" she asked, turning to look at Johnny. It had been three months since the 'accident', which was the only way she could refer to it, and he'd been unconscious since then. She'd done her best to keep his hair the way he liked it but it had gotten a little long as of late. Even with the weight loss she wasn't strong enough to hold him up long enough to cut it. Same with bathing but that required even more movements. That's why Kyle was on his way over.

She got through three more questions before Kyle knocked on the door. She'd given him a key but he still knocked before coming into the flat.

"Hey, love. How are you doing?" He pulled her into a hug as soon as the door shut. "You eat today?"

He had a bag of takeaway in his hand, just in case. She'd lost weight too.

"I did actually. I made a chicken salad," she assured, taking the bag away and putting it in the kitchen. "Thank you, though. We can eat after Johnny's bath."

"You know how eager I am to get to that." Kyle chuckled.

Nina entered the bedroom first. It wasn't really a bedroom anymore. Their bed had been replaced with a hospital bed. IVs, heart rate monitors and other devices crowded around him instead of the usual pillows and plushes.

"Johnny, Kyle's here to see you." She'd been told it was good to keep talking to him, let him know who was in the room.

"Hey mate, still sleeping?" Kyle sat in the spare chair next to the bed, he squeezed Johnny's hand. "If you don't wake up soon, I might have to steal your girl. Don't mean any disrespect but she did convince me to come over to help bathe you so she might already have me wrapped around her finger."

Nina laughed and rolled her eyes as she logged out of the practice test.

"How's studying going?"

"Okay," she shrugged.

"I do have this weird rash if you could take a look?" He jokingly started pulling up the side of his shirt. "If you're going to be a nurse, I will take advantage."

Nina waved him off, giggling.

"It is impressive, what you're doing." A look of earnestness coming over his face. "Minus the whole coma, he's pretty lucky to have you."

"It's a vegetative state." She corrected. "He has involuntary muscle movements and his eyes move a bit during painful stimuli."

"You have been studying."

"It's a little funny that the method used to determine how severe his condition is is called the Glasgow Coma Scale."

"Doesn't surprise me that's where they'd do the most research to head trauma."

"If he can hear you, he'd be very offended."

"I'm about to wash his arse. He can piss off."

"I just need you to hold him up. I'll wash his arse."

"You really are an angel."

Kyle was a good helper, it was the solider in him. He took every order of hers without question. Didn't bring up how she would steal kisses against Johnny's skin as she finished each section. He talked to Johnny, cracking jokes and letting him know recent football scores.

She couldn't say that it had gotten easier caring for Johnny. She had help, a nurse came to change his IVs, catheter and feeding tube. She was only taking the nursing classes so she could do it on her own. Simon and Kyle had warned her about burnout, offering to watch him so she could sleep or even just leave the flat for a walk. His mum and sister came down twice a month or more.

It just ate at her, that something would happen if she dared to cross the threshold. He had improved, albeit slowly but that could change any time. The brain was just a fickle thing. If he took a turn for the worse, she wanted to be there.

She never told anyone but some nights she curl up between his legs and rest her head on his thigh, a hand rubbing across his stomach. She hoped he knew she was there. That she hadn't left him. She would wait for him. If he woke up tomorrow she'd be the first person he saw.

"You ready to cut his hair, now?" Kyle asked. They were both sweaty and a little tired. She looked at Johnny. His hair did look strange with the over grown mohawk and fuzzy sides. She did like how his hair curled a little. He did need a shave but she could do that on her own.

"I think it's okay for now," She ran her hand over his forehead. "Let's eat."

Kyle had picked up Greek. They ate with the bedroom with Johnny. They had a football match playing on the telly. It felt almost normal.

"You're doing a good job." Kyle kissed the top of her head, having pulled her into another hug by the door. "If you need anything. Call me. And I'm begging you to at least sleep on the couch instead of that cot. Can't do much if your back is fucked."

"I'll try. Thank you Kyle." She missed being held like this. "I love you."

"Love you too." He gave her another quick kiss on the crown of her head before heading off.

Back in the bedroom she turned on some of Johnny's favorite music and opened her lap top to continue her test.