#but also if she dies i will legit sob

[musicfeedsmysoul12]

Random Not Sober AU notes I found on my phone after last night that get simpler as they go:

1) FMA/HP Au where Lily is Hohenhiem’s kid and she goes to Amestris to meet her father and half brothers with her husband James. Along the way they hook up with Roy Mustang. Harry is his bio kid. Then of course the Potters die and Dumbledore sucks so much he just drops the baby off at the Elric’s house unaware Trisha died and Hoenheim fucked off. Cue Ed and Al raising their nephew. Then of course we have human transmutation, Roy coming and Al going: oh hey wasn't some of the notes Lily left saying you were Harry’s dad?

This 100% would end with Parental Roy having three gremlin kids, Harry going through human transmutation to get rid of the Horocrux in exchange for Al, and then CHAOS at Hogwarts.

2) A really weird AU where Hoenheim slept with a woman in Xing when he was first there who had a kid she kept secret so no one could worship them or do weird shit. The kid had a kid and so on until they left Xing after their clan was attacked, they got to Amestris, got married and had a son. Roy Mustang.

This also included Hoenheim having another child with an Ishvalan woman before he met Trisha. His daughter went on to have two sons: Scar and his brother.

I have no idea where I was going with this. But its amusing.

3) BNHA AU where Space Orcs tropes happen but I include the period stuff I talked about. Izuku is a trans guy who gets snatched with Jirou. I planned on Quirks being a thing still according to my notes. Izuku has PCOS. Legit ends up passing clots cause its one of those periods. Empathy Alien (Mina) is sobbing.

4) FMAB AU where the Homunculi all murder Father because they hate him and just chill. Greed finds Hohenheim and finds out about the boys. Decides Hohenheim is a bad dad so he goes off to be weird cousin Greed along with the others. They still try human transmutation and get into the military where Bradley is like: why is my baby cousin- Que Ed being known as the Fuher’s cousin.

5) self insert wakes up as Envy. Basically they go fuck the plot turn into a cat and hang around the elric brothers.

6) Like a half page ramble about Girl!Bakugou and how she would be meaner then her canon self to male Izuku and just nasty to a girl Izuku because if we keep her personality then you have society coming down on her for not being soft and shit. I have no idea where this was going.

7) EdLing AU where Ling was disowned for liking men and refusing a marriage with a woman from his clan, so he runs off to Amestris to find a philosopher's stone early and then meets the Elric brothers before canon.

8) BNHA/FMAB AU where Winry is reborn as Izuku, she is now a trans girl and is running around making automail.

9) EdLing share the pair AU. Imagine prince Ling screaming about his arm and leg, and people realizing his soulmate lost theirs.

10) the above but EdRoy. My notes said ‘flip a coin for pla’ which I think means flip a coin for platonic or not.

11) the above a gin for GreedEdLing with extra ‘oh fuck you’ energy because IT HURTS US WHEN YOU DIE GREED

12) Envy/Ed also soulmate au (i read a fanfic before getting high and it stuck I guess)

13) IiDeku AU lesbians where Bakugou is engaged to Izuku but she breaks it off as soon as she can to be with Iida.

14) three selkie au starts

[carmillas-vampiric-rage]

Random Bi-Han Headcanons MK1

this man has consumed my thoughts omfg i tried to fight it why am i always shocked when this happens

anyway, here's like a random selection of headcanons i have about this little bitch

warnings: none. my tomfoolery. bi-han being a gay loser.

bi-han x black biracial reader (gn)

he nearly cried when kung lao sliced him with that round blade (he did). boy was legit so upset and surprised he managed to get that blow in despite him being GRANDMASTER and kung lao being INCOMPETENT. picture that scrunch face you make when you trying not to cry and you keep blinking and your eyes burning- that's what he did (canon event)

he is the definition of Mean and Angry Bisexual™. boy is what i like to call a homophobic homosexual. he notices a hot dude or nonbinary person and immediately looks away and says via voice over "no. that is gay."

saw this on another random bi-han headcanon post and i absolutely agree: bi-han loves women of color. i think he primarily dates woc too hehe. let's say hypothetically he hates white people because of tomas. i didn't say that you did. we love tomas in this house btw. and like that same headcanon post; he has a preference for black and black biracial folks. i do not take criticism hehe. this is canon and a fact (he's dating me after all)

absolutely loves when you wear your hair naturally, in any style, he loves when you embrace your culture and family history. he'd never mention or talk about your hair to you, as it seems rude and disrespectful to him, but he thinks it. and he also thinks whenever you wear your hair in a full afro, he's never seen anyone so beautiful. each and every time it astounds him that he's still awestruck.

big cuddler. idc what anyone says, he loves to cuddle. he's literally the most clingy lil guy. after finally finding his person and being able to be vulnerable for the first time since his mother died, he just melts, and becomes inseparable from you. after a hard day, or when he's enraged (a rare occurrence), nothing calms his mind down or relaxes his tense muscles like wrapping an arm around you and pulling you flush to him, your back to him as you sleep soundly. he listens to your soft breathing (or snoring lets be real) and tries to calm himself from the day's frustrations. if you awaken from his entrance, and unsurprising cuddles, you'll touch his hand and squeeze, snuggling closer to him -as if he's not already melted into your skin- and smile as he kisses your jawline and the back of your neck. most of the time, you'll turn over to him, his arm not removing from your waist, and grab his face, kissing his face and lips. the two of you will remain as close, foreheads resting against the other, sometimes talking, sometimes enjoying the sweet silence until you both fall asleep.

like so many others have stated; he was way closer with his mother than his father. when he was a child, being around her was the only time he could actually put his guard down, and be vulnerable. she would protect him. spending time with his mother, were some of the few times he would laugh or smile, as she told him funny stories from her childhood, or tickle him to get a confession out of him, if he'd been the one to steal the last cookie. she was his everything. his closest person. his best friend besides his brothers. and her death broke him. he closed off even more than he already did, vowing never to let anyone besides his mother see his unguarded side. but if he was being honest -and not constantly pushing the thought from his mind- he broke down the night she died, sobbing uncontrollably alone in his room as he clung to the soft baby blue sweater she always wore.

I don't care what anyone says, I don't care what we see in the game or if official heights come out... bi-han is s h o r t. my headcanon is 5'9. that may seem short for him but he just radiates 5'9 energy i do not take criticism. my man is stout so it only makes sense that he a short king.

bi-han used to be inseparable from his brothers when they were kids, their father taking in tomas at such a young age, bi-han always remembers him being there. there isn't a single memory from his childhood that both his brothers aren't in. he'd never tell either kuai liang or tomas, but he cherishes those memories of when they were kids, when they'd play outside every single day, look for creepy and interesting bugs, practice combat, aka, someone ended up with a black eye and sobbing. whenever those memories pop into his head, his permanent frown softens a bit, though he tries not to let anything show on his face. part of him does wish he could be close to them like they were as kids, but he's too stubborn and full of himself to actually try and repair the relationship he's mostly stilted over the years.

~~~~~~~

just a few super random headcanons of my babygirl. may come back to some of these or write another part if i think of more. feel free to add onto these i crave bi-han headcanons!!!!!!!

[usernamesuggestionsarefunny]

Wish spoilers ahead.

The start of Wish is exactly like that of Encanto but without all the heart. It is literally the meme of "Can I copy your homework?" "Yeah but change a few things so it is not too obvious."

Also Asha deserved a pretty dress in the end like wth are you going to sell to little girls Disney you are all about money and you failed miserably even at that.

And it is for real soooo unfair how the queen did get a pretty dress the whole movie and Asha only got some lazy ass sparkles added to her boring ass dress.

Asha... not bad, ok, but she is copy paste Anna, Mirabel, and Rapunzel. Youtuber ModernGurlz is right about Disney's "adorkable" problem. All their main girls since Rapunzel have the same "quirky" personality save a few details. I have liked them all but it is getting boring. Give me a princess with a monotone, sad personality, give me a shy princess who only smiles and talks around close friends, give me back the classic super girly personality Aurora and Snow White style, give me an angry girl with a brutal sense of humor like Merida. Be creative, please!!!

I love the queen's design, super gorgeous. Too bad her character added nothing. Her help was barely needed since Asha's friend had already sneaked them into the castle and it was her who deciphered the king's magic. A super villain couple would have been way more fun.

Oh, yeah, Asha's friends. There were so-damn-many of them and only like 3 were rememberable or needed for the story.

The villain is a complicated issue. I appreciated Disney's attempt at another fully evil character, I liked how he wasn't yet another badly set up "twist villain" revealed only at the end. But I didn't like the end result that much.

His backstory was super underdeveloped and to "get" his motives better, if they really wanted to make him evil-yet-complex, they should have shown us a flashback of him losing his family Encanto style (They copy pasted the start might as well do the same with the antagonist backstory.

What the hell was the missing piece of tapestry for if it wasn't going to have any significance later on? Did the writers just forget or what even?

Worst part for me: The stakes were low as fuck. Disney doesn't respect its target audience, nowadays it thinks that children can't handle anything worse than a main character getting disappointed. The worst this "super evil" villain does is make people sad temporarily, for like two minutes (Kid you not), like one character stays sad for longer but MOST people in the kingdom seem happy and normal after giving up their wishes, he legit just makes people sad a few minutes (Again, I kid you not, no one dies, the wishes he "eats" to make himself stronger come back, nothing he does has a permanent, devastating effect, he is not even revealed to have killed Asha's father in a dramatic way or something). Yeah he makes people forget their wishes which is pretty sketchy but up to that point he seemed to have complex reasons for that, reasons that seem to disappear or have never even been there the second half of the movie when he magically becomes more evil due to a forbidden green spooky magic he uses, and then suddenly he becomes Maleficent (The cool, perfect villain version, not the woobie one) style evil in a very, very rushed and over the top way. I feel like he should have started up as fully evil with no backstory (Just a simple, Gaston or original Maleficent style, self centered guy, who wants more and more power and adoration), and simply gotten worse and stronger OR given more complexity as to why he became that way, but instead we got this weird thing in between where it is clear he just wants power and love from the people for the sake of it and yet he has this half-made sob story on how his family died.

There was a great lack of originality in this movie at the climax as well. Anyone watched "The little mermaid II"? That was pretty much it. Villain gets power boner, says he will enslave everyone (Worst thing he does in whole movie and yet no one trying to defy him dies at least off screen or gets hurt in any meaningful way). Then heroine saves the day.

The funniest part of this movie is that the villain's fate is worse than anything he ever did in the movie I swear. He gets trapped in a freaking mirror and then locked up in a cell (Similar to the Little mermaid II villain's end too lol). That is straight up torture till death, it is so fucked up. And his wife who literally sees how the green spooky magic is the main thing responsible for his bad day (If we are being honest that is all it was, other than the taking wishes part he seemed to be a good king) leaves him to rot and becomes queen Catherine II style, it is hilarious. Like girl, you turned against your husband like five minutes ago because apparently through decades of seemingly loving marriage, you never knew he was evil but now somehow you are ok with him rotting in solitary confinement till the end of time? So dorky and silly. So bad, so bad.

Lastly, that goat was annoying as hell.

[frogizz]

The Untamed Mind Dump (Spoilers duh)

(I have yet to read the novel for MDZS, and I am on Episode 47 of The Untamed so I want to do another mind dump like last time)

Jin Guangyao, I've been suspicious of him ever since I saw that face of his (I am not calling the actor ugly or anything like that, I can acknowledge its the acting that made him look suscpious not his actual face.) But I didn't excpect for him to be that sick of a human being.

Wei Wuxian being the scapegoat all over again

Damn these people love to gossip

I forgot about Wei Wuxian offering his Golden Core to Jiang Cheng

I miss Jiang Yanli bro

I also miss Wen Qing

At least I have Wen Ning, he is so awesome

I have the firm belief that while Wen Ning and Wei Wuxian are responsible for the death of Jin Zixuan, I know damn well Jiang Yanli's blood is not on Wei Wuxian's hands. Heck, I kind of think even though Wei Wuxian was the cause of Jin Zixuan's death, that that situation was obviously curated from the start, there was no intention to kill anyone that day because Wei Wuxian was doing this all in self defense. (Still sad that Jin Zixuan had to be a casualty).

I legit don't remember Su She before episode 45

The way I had to pause, sit up, stand up, walk around when that lady revealed Jin Guangyao tortured his father like that and what he did to Qin Su??? OH MY GOOOODDDDDDDD

Lan Wanji, you're the best supporter and best friend ever (I know in the novel he's Wei Wuxian's lover but in The Untamed their relationship is still amazing as best friends).

Wei Wuxian is such a great leader and protected those teens well (most of them are teens right? they all seemed kinda young)

I feel so bad for Jin Ling, all of his family's dirty laundry being aired out from both sides because his (defected) martial uncle is infamous for doing dirty tricks and is the supposed one who killed his parents, his maternal uncle being really hard on him, his paternal uncle being absolute scum and him doing things worse than what Wei Wuxian was ever accused for, and then to top it all off, he is constantly bullied.

To add to that, Jin Ling's outbursts are to be expected, he's just like his maternal uncle, really emotional. Jiang Cheng has had his outbursts of anger and aggressiveness (verbal and/or physical) and this could be the only way Jin Ling knows how to express himself.

At first I thought Jin Ling was an arrogant and stupid spoiled brat but I just want to hug this poor kid, the trauma of not having his parents and knowing that they died brutal deaths, the bullying, just everything. Just let him have a nice and warm blanket while snuggling with Fairy for once, please?

Speaking of Fairy, can people stop threatening the dog please? Like, they're such a good boy/girl (Netflix subtitles swapped them at somepoint from he to she and then it so I have no idea).

I WAS CRYING WHEN LAN SIZHUI STARTED TO REMEMBER HIS PAST AND THEN WEN NING WAS TRYING TO CATCH UP WITH HIM BRUH I WAS UGLY CRYING, SOBBING, THEY'RE FAMILY, THEY DESERVE TO SPEND TIME TOGETHER, THE LAST OF THE WEN FAMILY AAAA

I am such a sucker for reunited families, families with close bonds, found families, I don't know why, but it strikes me in the heart in such a painful and joyful way.

Zewu Jun, I always have mad respect for this man and I understand how he needs to make his own judgement and not only trust the words of others, I just can't blame him for that. But man was I afraid that he betrayed everyone by actually being 100% on Jin Guangyao's side knowing everything he did in episode 46, but he looked as confused and weirded out as ever so thankfully he isn't on his side anymore, I love this dude, I'm his biggest supporter.

I'll make each of these things their own post because I have so much more I want to say.

[oceandirtcountry]

I’d like to thank @kittykatchao for this Kenny idea—it’ll be a long time before he makes it into the fic for legit, but I wanted to do a little thing with him because he’s been bouncing around my head for a little while.

“Kenny, a word, please.” Weiss waves the boy over. Dressed in a jet-black T-shirt and jeans, the boy was about as distraught as they get. He hadn’t stopped crying since the funeral event started, but who could blame him?

Weiss sighs. Ruby was her partner, and as much as she’d hate to admit it back then, her best friend. She’d done the impossible on more than one occasion, risen even higher that she ever had when she was kicked down to her lowest.

In her years as a Huntress, she saved so many, and inspired many more.

It’s why so many came.

“Look, Kenny…Not to be the one to say it, but…I have to. Your dad, he’s…not exactly in a clean bill of health to keep going. As it stands, he can barely even give the speech today, and that’s why Yang will be filling in.”

“But the world…it needs its symbols of peace. It needs the Ninja, the Revolution, and…Ben 10, above all else.”

Kenny isn’t really listening, as Weiss could tell. She didn’t blame him, but he really needed to.

“Kenny, look at me.”

The boy stares up at her with puffy red eyes, having run out of tears about a good half hour ago. The only sounds that escape his mouth are choked sobs.

“Aurelia—your sister—is picking up exactly where your mother left off. She’s going to be away from home for extended periods of time, like your mom used to. So I’m going to need you to support your elder sister in whatever ways you can.”

Kenny gives her a small nod.

“I know you put away the Omnitrix earlier this year. But I’m also going to need you to care for those two who have the watches right now. Charlie hasn’t taken the news well, and neither has your dad.”

“You’ve got your mom’s enthusiasm, but you’ve got this down-to-earth mentality I haven’t seen in those two with their heads-in-the-clouds. That’s why you’re the only one I know I can trust to bring them back to how they should be.”

Weiss places a hand on the boy’s shoulder, a pang of sorrow shooting through her heart. For once, this wasn’t a death someone could simply come back from.

It wasn’t like Ben’s, and it wasn’t like their acid trip to the Ever After. They found her body, they checked her pulse.

“I trust you, Kenny.”

Those words lingered in his mind for a long time. Why him? Weiss had her own kids. Auntie Yang’s kids were far better off combat-wise than him. Uncle Rex’s kid was a prodigy.

Why did she trust him? What did he have?

In the weeks to come, Aurelia pushed herself harder and harder. The gap her mother left was a canyon she could never hope to fulfil, the expectations growing wider and wider, the strain growing.

Charlie got back on her feet quickly enough thanks to his motivation, but his dad was still far gone. She took over as the Omnitrix-wielding hero.

All the while, he was lost. Without a purpose, without a drive to do something for the world.

But that’s when he decided to really look into why and how his mother died.

5a.m. in the morning, his mother stepped out of her bed after hearing an explosion in the distance. She rushes down the Omnitrix tower in milliseconds, grabbing her Crescent Rose on the way.

5:01, she gets into a scuffle with two very odd criminals. Every time he checked the records on them, they were different from how he remembered them—but they remained mostly constant now.

Subdora and Exo-skull. Never found, never caught. Found fifty years ago, then ten years ago, then never again.

But he kept finding inconsistencies. His mother pulled out all the stops—and failed to land a single hit. They predicted her every move, and even prepared some device to stop her Semblance from functioning the way that it should.

It was a beatdown, but nobody could do that, right? His mother was the greatest fighter in Remnant, if not the universe, famed for her unpredictability.

And yet she was predicted?

After more research into his father’s logs, Kenny became more and more sure it was a time-related issue. The two criminals suddenly appeared in the logs five years ago, with an attempted murder on his mother that he swears was never there.

Then another, then another. Each about a few months apart.

Using whatever tech he could get his hands on and help from his uncle Rex, Kenny got to work on a suit he planned to use to go back in time and save his mother.

It malfunctioned. Rex had no idea on the intricacies of time travel, and Kenny sure as hell didn’t either.

But they were saved. Someone came for them, brought them back, and fixed his suit to work as intended.

“Your mother was never meant to die, young Tennyson. She was but an unintended causality in the time-war. But your drive…it could help. What would you say, Kenny? Would you like to save your mother?”

Like that was a question.

(Honestly, Ruby dying is a great motivation—Kenny just fucking went back in classic for…some reason.)

[starrbar]

Alright, I was encouraged by the smol family of HeroKel shippers on here, so now that I have my ass in order, here's the Headspace Abuse AU I spawned out of some horny energy last month. xD

CONTENT WARNINGS: Physical abuse, neglect, gaslighting(?), spiders, brocon/incest if you choose to see it ;3 Also spoilers for Omori!

If you stumble across this post as someone who despises this kind of content, I sincerely apologize for that. I don't intend to main-tag this, but I'm not 100% positive how tagging works on Tumblr anymore. The Read More should cover that though. Have a nice day!

In one of the playthroughs of Omori I really like, they have this ongoing joke where Kel is just bullied all the time, especially by Hero and Aubrey.  Every time Kel says anything, Hero says stuff like, "Kel, I'm going to BEAT YOU when we get home" or "Ohh Keeeel, I'm getting the BELT!!" and it's just met with Kel screaming, "NOOOO NOT AGAIN PLEASE!" and everyone's laughing about it and stuff.  And man, I'm REALLY not usually into any kind of incest kinks (just personally not my thing), but I'd lowkey be fine with an rp/fic where Hero just abuses Kel all the time and has him basically trained to obey and cower out of fear. x'D

Adding onto that, I also had so much fun with the Basil deaths in Black Space, so now I just imagine like Basil is the Kenny of the group, and he just dies horrible deaths all the time and comes back later, and no one even bats an eye beyond giggling or saying, "Oh wow, he's gonna feel that in the morning, tee hee!"

And then when Basil goes missing, Hero and Aubrey start putting Kel through a lot more shit because even they they don't really notice it, Basil's constant deaths and pained screaming do keep them pretty entertained.

Omori isn't phased by any of it ofc, since he's kiiiind of the one pulling the strings here.

I'm not sure how Mari would respond to everything.  Maybe it would be funny if she just acted like she always does and almost as if the stuff happening is just silly goofy bickering or stubbed toes, and she'll say stuff like, "Awww, don't worry, Basil!  All you have to do for a spider bite is (I don't even know, but like generic advice for a single, non-venonous spider bite)!"  And Basil is just like, "-gross sobbing- O-okay...!" while being devoured alive by a billion spiders or chomped in half by a giant one ahahaha.

Then she'll tell Kel, "Aww, Hero got mad at you?  Well... you did step on his foot after all.  But just apologize and talk it over and I'm sure he'll come around in no time! ^u^" and this is like, what you tell someone if all the angry person did was snap at them or get upset and leave for a bit.  But Hero literally broke a branch off the nearest tree and beat Kel with it until it broke lmao.

It's like... ultra horrific tbh?  But I kind of love soaking in more of that type of freaky shit.  It's almost appealing BECAUSE it's the absolute last thing that should ever be happening??

Kel is an absolute sweetie and deserves the world, Hero is a kind and patient big brother who immediately apologized and improved himself the one time he was ever really mean to Kel, and Aubrey is honestly a very good person despite putting on an edgy face when she got older and trying to push people away.  She's never out to truly hurt anyone.

So it's kinda fun to twist them up in this awful way, especially since the game itself kind of already did most of the work for me and all I did was enjoy that and also take a meme from a video series and run with it.

I mean holy shit, there's legit a whole scene in Black Space where Basil's DW friends all beat him to death and then act like everything is normal and fun. It's CANON, and everything I wrote here is of a similar caliber, just with the invitation to view it as abusive shipping if the reader desires.

Basically I'm roleplaying with myself and enjoying the sadistic story I end up with x'D

[wildtalon8]

Me crying & sobbing on the floor bc Arven deserves better parents & to be happy with his pubby forever

Major pokémon scarlet spoilers

I was so ready to back up my homeboy for the climax. i thought we were gonna march up to sada & be like “ayo you were never there for Arven wtf?” & it was gonna be a sweet moment of parent realizing their mistakes & shutting down whatever bullshit they got to be with their son but NO BITCH DIED?? Like they were drifting already so its less of a sting for him but?? “Your mother loved you very much” stfu AI Sada dudes closest family member was a dog!!!

Also idk how it is in Violet but in Scarlet bitch was legit gonna fuck up the ecosystem for what?? She coulda had a better jurassic park? Enclosed the crater better & had citizens see these creatures exist? Like I know Sada literally died partway through so plans are gonna be rocky when taken over by a robot clone, but girl ur a woman of science do you have any idea how delicate ecosystems are? especially with superpowered creatures?? Make a goddam museum bitch damn & the time machine bein kept a secret? You could facetime with the headmaster but not start a science stream where u tell the public “hey im making a time machine also look at the crater” you have technology

[quinnsqueries]

Why Everyone Should Read "A Mango Shaped Space"

Wendy Mass was the first author I ever truly loved. Believe it or not, it took me until the ripe age of ten years old to truly love reading. And I remember the first book that actually got me hooked, and no it wasn't Mango, it was, however, by Wendy Mass. And, in classic little kid style, it was part of a series of books and I read them backwards.

And, I really just want to congratulate Wendy Mass on her writing abilities. She made me laugh, squeal and cry in one whole night. Three hours, to be exact, as that is how long it took me to read the whole book. And, well, it'd been a long time since I read it, so I didn't remember too much about the book, and what I did remember was the most tragic event in the book, the premise, and that the main character saw her grandfather in her kitten.

And, well, even though I knew what happened, I knew the tragic event was, well, tragic...it still didn't prepare me for it enough because I sobbed like a baby when it happened. I don't want to say what happened because, spoilers, but like, jesus christ, I cried. And I don't do that very often with books these days.

Anyway, I really recommend reading A Mango Shaped Space if you haven't, because I saw myself in the main character. Now, I don't have synesthesia, but I still saw myself in Mia, and maybe you will too. If you don't want spoilers for the book, then I suggest you stop reading here. If you don't mind it, if you need more convincing, then read along!

My first though when rereading this book was: Wow, Mia, you and I are so alike, I can't do math either. My second thought was, wow, Mia has anxiety. The opening scene is our protagonist, Mia, trying to solve a math problem and failing. She's never been good at math and she says it's because of the colors she sees and how it just doesn't work correctly when she tries to do math.

Mia was in front of the class trying to solve a math problem, and since she's not good at math, she's trying to stall for time, so she attempts to solve the problem while putting all the numbers in the "correct" color. Except, other people don't see the world as colorfully as Mia, and this ends up with her in the principals office realizing that maybe she's different and that it's not a good thing. This ultimately ends up with Mia trying to hide how different she is.

Now let's pause here for a moment. This scene not only builds up the entire plot of the book, but also reminds me of a lot of different things. Whenever someone thinks there might be something wrong with them, it can often be overlooked. With Mia it was her synesthesia, but with other people it can be so many different things. Autism, ADHD, depression...

I think this book is coded for neurodivergency, whether Wendy Mass meant it or not, and honestly, that means so much for me. And I'll further explain why I felt that way as I reveal more of the story, but for now, just trust me on this one.

The next scene sets up Mia's life as it currently is. We meet her best friend Jenna, her mom and dad, and her little brother Zack. And let me tell you: this family is weird and I love it. Wendy Mass built the characters so realistically, she legit brought them to life. Her little brother is obsessed with superstitions and has kept track of every single McDonalds burger he's ever eaten. Her older sister basically never touched grass in her life and then spends a summer in California and is obsessed with all of these nature-y spirity things. Her mom is very clean and horrible with dealing with emotions. She used to be a science teacher and loves astronomy. Her dad is the more sensitive parent (which like? Hello! We never get that!) He's constantly building and expanding their house, which is something he'd battle with his dad against until he died. He flies a hellicopter!

And then there's Mia. Who, like me, sucks at math, is okay with english and history, and is super artistic. She gets overwhelmed by a lot of noise, which the first time we see this happen, is when her brother turns up all of her clocks so when it strikes 5pm they'll all go off. It's super loud and overwhelming and Mia can't see straight. I get that way too, and the way Wendy Mass writes is super relatable.

If I had been prepared, I would have been able to anticipate the onslaught, but now it is overwhelming and I feel like I'm suffocating.

I get this way too! When things are too loud, if there's too many people around me, etc, I can't breathe, which Mass depicts, too. Mia has to crouch on the floor just so she can breathe. And then when the noise goes away, which causes the colors to go away, she can breathe again. This is a realistic depiction of anxiety, and while this is due to Mia's synesthesia, I think a lot of people can relate to how Mia is feeling in this moment.

Mia is then, understandably, afraid of hearing too many sounds, but when she takes control of the noise, like putting on music, then she's perfectly fine with it. Here's another quote from the book which just resonated with me.

All of them, belonging, at that minute, only to me.

This quote is in relation to the colors, but really just accurately depicts how when we have control of things, you really just feel at peace. And since it's preceded by such a powerful scene of feeling out of control, I think this sentence is just kinda perfect.

Another powerful scene is when Mia meets another kid like her. His name is Billy and he's five years old. Mia meets him at a supermarket and at first she doesn't realize that he's like him, but when she's does she's shocked. And, reasonably, scared and confused. This pushes the plot forward, and the next big scene is Mia coming clean to her parents. But first, just another quote that made me scream.

These visits are hard for her, no matter what she says. Or doesn't say. I hurry back to the house thinking of all the things we keep from other people. Even our best friends.

This quote sums up so much of the book, and it comes so early on. Mia's been keeping her synesthesia to herself for years, and it causes so many problems. It makes her feel isolated, which in turn, when she finds out that there are other people like her, makes her go crazy. She hyperfixates and loses track of whats right in front of her. Wendy Mass depicts what life is all about, depicts something that can really happen to anyone, depending on how isolated they feel. And it doesn't have to just be with synesthesia, it can be with anything! And that is what I loved about this book more.

If you haven't been convinced to keep reading, well...we're only on page 50.

So, like I said, the next big scene is Mia telling her parents that she has synesthesia, though she doesn't yet know the name for her condition. Beforehand, she's talking about why certain things, like math and languages are hard for her, because, no matter what she tries, they don't make sense.

When she tells her parents about the colors, they reasonably freak out. They argue back and forth about how it's their fault she's this way, the mom tries reason it with Mia having just memorized the colors because of the blocks she played with as a kid, and then they decide to set up a doctors appointment. All they want to do is fix Mia.

Also, I just want to point out, at this point, that even insignificant characters, like the history teacher in this book have such stunning quirks. The history teacher is a germaphobe and when Mia gets called down to be picked up, she doesn't know what it's for and her instant reaction is "did I put my history homework in the wrong pile?"

And, if I haven't given you enough quotes, heres another one that resonates with me.

At that point I would rather have been called anything but crazy. It's one thing for me to call myself crazy. It is another thing entirely when a doctor does it.

At this point in the book Mia has been referred to a therapist, or that's at least what they call her. Who, by the way, assumes Mia's making this up. And Mia thinks that because she's been referred to a therapist the doctor is calling her crazy, which, I don't entirely think he was. He just wasn't sure what to do about her condition since he doesn't specialize in that field.

Anything, the next thing we know, Mia tells her best friend about synesthesia and she gets upset. Previously in the book we learned Jenna's mom died when she was young and it had such an impact on her, which is why she's scared that Mia had been hiding such a big part of her life from her. She doesn't understand what is going on with Mia, and she seems like she might be sick at this point in the book, since nobody knows what synesthesia is. So, they have a fight because Jenna is scared that her best friend might die, even if she doesn't say it out loud, we can tell.

Mia then meets the therapist and gets referred to a neurologist, who, when Mia and her mom meet in person, then tells her what synesthesia is, since he specializes in it. He then says they can meet again sometime, sends Mia off with a website, and she's reasonably happy. She then spends the later half of the book hyper fixating on her new terminology, learning more about synesthesia, and making a new friend through the website. All the while ignoring what she has in real life. She distances herself from Jenna, who she finally made up with, and the rest of her friends. She ignores her schoolwork, and even does acupuncture because she read online that it really brings out her colors.

Now, at this point, I think it's only fair to bring up the cat, Mango. The namesake of the book. Mia first met Mango after her grandfather died, and she reminded her of him because they had the same eyes. She believes a part of her grandfather lives on through Mango, which softened her grandfathers death. But, the thing is, Mango, despite being fairly young, is dying, which is hinted at through the book. Mango has a lung condition and takes medicine for it.

During a meetup of people with synesthesia Mia has her first kiss and it's the best night of her life. And then, once she gets home, she realizes that Mango is missing. He'd gotten trapped outside. Mia brings him inside but something isn't right. Mango is dying and the roads are flooded. They try to take him to the vet via helicopter, but he dies on the way. And Mia is blaming herself for it. She thinks she hadn't been paying enough attention to Mango, and because of that he died.

My eyes open wide, and the pain hits me in thick black waves. Then I scream loud enough to wake the dead. Only it doesn't.

This quote was what made the tear-gates flood. Mia is grieving and hard. And during the next couple of chapters there are so many raw quotes, things like "I wish the ice would go right through me and take the pain away." Because Mia just lost her best friend, and she doesn't know how to cope. And also, her colors are gone, because it's a traumatic experience and apparently that happens.

And, also, it's Jenna's birthday party that day, and Mia just feels stuck in bed. And Jenna is blaming the synesthesia get-together for Mia being absent to being early for setting up. This gets resolved quickly by Mia's mom calling Jenna and explaining that Mango died, but this further shows us that Mia really had been neglecting everything in favor of researching/being hyper-fixated on her diagnosis. On her explanation of why she is the way she is.

The book then comes to a close with Mia finding Billy, whom she had been searching for in hopes of helping him and his family learn more about who he is and what he has, and with Mia reconnecting with her loved ones. And really, they ended it even softer with finding Mango's children, because he'd been courting another cat. Jenna's cat.

And well, I just really loved this book. So, please, please read it and tell me your thoughts. Did you also find that it's coded in nuerodivergency and other mental health issues?

[unreadpoppy]

That time I cried while playing DnD

Context: I play as Elizabeth Adawolf, a human order of the lycan blood hunter, who comes from a noble family that died on a fire during her wedding day years ago.

Our party had been terrorized by a demon, who was particularly targetting Elizabeth (possibly due to her being the champion of the Sun Goddess). We needed a way to lure him out of hell. We discovered that he cast a powerful teleportation spell that, in the case in which one of the members of our party died/had a near death experience, he would use that as a passage to our world. When all members of the party that could contact Gods for guidance failed to get any hints as to how to solve this, I (the player) did what could be considered the most idiotic thing in the world tabletop RPGs:

I made my character attempt suicide.

I legit narrated my character going into a separate room, far away from everybody, getting her special longsword, the one that completely changed her destiny, and made her stab herself in the chest until she fell unconscious. The DM, after getting a lot of vocal confirmation from me that I intended to do that, narrated how the demon showed up. The sessions ends there.

Next session, while the rest of the party fights the demon, I'm rolling constitution saving throws to determine how much damage from blood loss I'm getting.

When Elizabeth drops to 2 HP, the DM asks me what is my character's favorite place in the world. I say Elizabeth's would probably be the ballroom from her household, where she used to dance and fool around with her siblings.

DM says Elizabeth suddenly sees herself in a dress, walking alongside her oldest brother. The weird thing is that this is not a flashback, because Elizabeth has her scar and her brother says she is married. After questioning him further, she discovers the man responsible for her family's death is in their house and so she decides to do something. She hugs her brother, apologizes and runs away to her room.

Walking there, everything looks the same except for 3 things. In the windowsill, there lays the legendary sword belonging to the Sun Goddess (one Elizabeth is actually on a mission to find). On the furniture next to her bed, there is a statue of her Goddess (another sign things aren't the same because before shit went down, her family whorshipped the Sea God) and next to it, there is a small portrait of her and her husband, and she has the scar in it. She takes up the portrait and walks to the sword and the DM says that Elizabeth must make a spiritual decision: stay here or go back.

For me and Elizabeth, it was obvious that the only choice was to go back. As nice as this whole thing was, she still has stuff to solve in the living world. She grabs the sword and looks back at her room one last time.

And this, my friends, is when I started going downhill in an emotional rollercoaster.

Cause when I did that, the DM says: "As you look back, your father stands in the doorway. He has a sad expression but also one of understanding. He knows what you must do".

And that's when I started to cry. A lot.

It wasn't some small tears. No, dude, it was a full on cascade of tears. My face was contorting, I was sobbing and gasping, I could barely speak.

The DM said I needed to decide but I asked him to skip my turn (because yes, while this was happening, the fight with the demon was going on) and then come back later, and he agrees to it.

I keep on crying for some time, but I eventually calm down.

Until, that is, it gets to my turn again.

I say that Elizabeth's gonna let go of the sword and run to hug her dad, something she's been longing to do in so long. And the DM says "when you touched the sword, you made the decision to leave. Letting it go, would mean to stay".

And that broke me even more. I began sobbing all over again.

Through the tears and the pain, I was able to narrate that Elizabeth, also crying, extends her free hand towards him and says:

"This will hurt more than the first time I lost you"

and then her eyes open.

Now, let me explain why this scene hurt me so much.

I don't think I show it here often but I'm very close to my dad. Like very very close. I'm daddy's girl. My dad has always been very present in my life and he has done literally everything for me. And for some reason, I keep dreaming that my dad dies. It has been a few years since the last time I dreamt with that, but it still lowkey hurts you know? So when the DM was talking about her father, I wasnt "seeing" Elizaebeth's fater, I was seeing MY dad.

And also, Elizabeth has this feeling inside of her of like, she wishes she could have said goodbye to her family. Because the last time she saw them, she didn't know it would be last time, she didn't get to say goodbye, But now, she's in this position where she HAS to choose between her family or her life, and she has to say goodbye to them but she still can't bring herself to do it. She can't even touch him.

This is why she said it would hurt more. Because now she is actively choosing to leave them behind. She is forced with saying goodbye and this is the hardest thing she has ever done before.

[frzntrx]

Okay so a while ago I got an au fic idea where Elsa is human and she’s an actress on Broadway originally I was thinking of making it after ragnarok where Steve drags everybody to a show and Loki sees her and he’s like wait I know her how do I know her?!? And she’s his wife from her past life who died in childbirth and I’m gonna keep her as a Broadway actress BUT she finds him passed out in the park after dark on the way home after rehearsals And she’s shocked by his outfit and kinda drags him to her apartment and she’s like oh shit what do I do?!? I got a random guy in my apartment Also I’m keeping that she’s his wife in her previous life I’m thinking of naming the other actresses as references for other Disney princesses I feel like the intro scene is them finishing up a song and ending rehearsals late at night and her leaving and taking a shortcut through a park or something Which is where she finds him knocked out And he starts to stir and she panics and whacks him knocking him out again like in tangled I mean he fell off the bifrost it’s a miracle he isn’t dead LoL Like she’s staring at this guy and she knows she needs to get him help or something but she can’t help but notice he’s beautiful and somehow familiar and he starts to stir and she squeaks and accidentally knocks him out again Maybe she sees him falling from the sky but it’s from afar and she’s like what the hell was that?!? And goes into the park to investigate and finds this guy and she’s like whoa is that a legit Angel wtf?!? No idea how she ends up dragging him home though because she’s like “if I call the hospital they won’t believe me! He literally fell from the sky!!!” Maybe she had medical classes in college? And she changed careers to follow her dream? She calls her little sister Anna in a panic and she’s sobbing She’s like idk what to do I took medical school but what the hell?!? Like their mom and dad kinda pressured her to be a doctor but she made a deal… she’d keep going as a doctor if she didn’t get a role… minor or otherwise so she had a loophole That was for her first audition And she’s been going strong ever since, this being her first lead role Anna ended up running a bakery/cat cafe She adopted a white Persian cat from the shelter and named him Olaf, hence her starting the cat cafe to help other cats find homes She does YouTube videos to promote it, and to help the cats get exposure so they get adopted Anna kinda moved in with her sister after college though, and a couple years prior after Anna graduated their parents died in a car crash in a storm She’s dating a boy she met in high school sophomore year, a boy who moved with his parents from Norway Kristoff obviously and She moved in with Elsa claiming it was because rent was crazy and to split rent but Anna knew their parents death was even harder on her, and she feels bad about it obviously, so she’s trying to comfort her sister Kristoff has a huge Irish wolfhound named Sven obviously

So this is kinda a backbone for it!

[charlottedabookworm]

Dawntrail Day 7+8 (part 2/2)

spoilers up to: lvl100 msq quest Dawntrail

original draft date: 4-5/7/24

scheduled release for: 31/7/2024

i managed to hit tumblrs image cap on part one of this post so. since i can't do a reblog of a post in drafts, here's part two!

part 1/2 is HERE

*

she added her birth name as her middle name

her name is krile because it is the name galuf gave her but maya is the name her parents gave her and she wants to keep both

*

and now just erenville remains

to erase the living memories of his mother

this expansion is really a love letter family and especially to parent/child and sibling relationships huh, good and the bad adn the ugly, blood and adopted adn chosen

*

yeah

i feel that

*

...i cannot believe your mum is calling your out like this erenville

at a time like this

*

that's fair. it's not fair, not really

inside the dome, thirty years passed over the number of days. you went home expecting to see your mum and by the time you made through the dome she was already gone

already gone and hiding it from you because her memories are still here, speaking to you, and that means she isn't really gone at all right?

except she is and she will be because you have to stop sphene and this may be the only way and you don't want her to go

she's your mum and your mentor and you don't want her to go so you don't want to help

(if she never fulfils her wish, surely she won't go?)

but i think- i think you'll regret it for the rest of your life if you don't, erenville

*

one last adventure with your mum erenville

one last happy memory

*

just gotta finish the msq and i have flight everywhere again!

(hopefully) no more distractions!

*

i love erenville and cahciua debating over the animal being scalekin or beastkin

they're just. interacting. probably how they have a thousand times before

(how they never will again, after this)

*

awww erenville apparently met baby krile, not that either of them remembers it lol

i'm just sad they didn't give us baby erenville in the cutscene he woulda been so adorable

*

oh

the final aether current

i can't be far now from the final quest dungeon and trial still to go notwithstanding

i guess both of those will be on the dawntrail quest? that's how they usually do it iirc

*

i am not emotionally prepared for the end of this quest

fuck

*

i dunno erenville. but she's asked you too

fuck

*

fuuuuuck

okay imma put ending this quest off and go walk the dogs

*

so

i got distracted by life shit like dogs and food and parents and it is now 10pm

i'mma finish dawntrail tonight anyway wish me luck i don't wanna be up past 1

also i gotta remember to cry quietly so i don't wake anyone up

*

oh no i don't need to start crying already

*

fuuuuuck

*

screaming crying throwing up

fuuuuck yep i am emotionally devastated fuck you square

*

still sobbing but-

the curtain falls, the final act begins

dawntrail

*

i'm ready

this expansion has already broken my heart so many times surely it can't do it any more

surely

*

alexandria

it looks so much like in ffix

but-

'to the memory of better days i bid farewell' this is definitely gonna be like in endwalker and shadowbringers right? we're gonna have some time hops to go with our narration

ahhh ye here be calamity stricken alexandria

lovely

annnd the last stage is after the barrier was put into place, probably after sphene died?

cool yeah okay definitely after sphene died

final boss time!

And the final dungeon of 7.0 is done

*

bets on sphene becominh a giant boss who sits at one side of the arena with a huge hitbox?

*

yeeeep there she is

I suppose why mess with a pattern you’ve had since uh- stormblood?

*

excuse me did you just fucking delete my friends who gave you the right to do that

so fuckinh rud-

wait have i really gotta queue for the first time this expansion at gone 11 at night? Fuck this maybe wasn’t my best idea

*

sphene: brings out the milalas key

me: i place my ‘azem stone’ in defense mode!

*

okay wow that was legit one of the best trials i’ve seen in game

there were so many cool mechanics there were arena changes genuine chaos int he middle it was fucking great

like i can absolutely understand why people are saying they’re already improving fight design cos that was amazing

And then the victory lap in the end was nice to see

i cannot wait to see that in ex

*

we are all pitiful selfish creatures, sphene

all of us

born and created

*

of course we will

*

love this

*

annnd credits!

loved the expansion very much

new dragoon is interesting, i don't hate it, the story was a little slow to start but of course it would be, it wasn't a world ending threat (until three quarters of the way through) and it definitely made me cry more than once

loved seeing more of erenville

and i love that raha got his taco in the credits! and esti being surrounded by children tugging on him as alphi laughs!

great expansion, can't wait to see what happens next

*

erenville is gonna stop being a gleaner?

oh

i wish you the best erenville

make sure to invite us on a few of those, yeah?

*

(i hit the image cap again fuck i'm not making another post it can just deal)

"And what of you? Any new adventures in the offing?"

well, wuk lamat, in a little less than two weeks i'm apparently going to be joining a fighting tournament

not sure why yet but it should be fun

*

....sphenes crown

her crown that was her regulator

her crown that was her regulator glowing?

might possibly have just figured out why we're entering a tournament

*

I will definitely go on another adventure with you erenville

whenever you ask

*

alpaca mount!

thanks wuk lamat!

they're so cute

*

kay no tihnking about it sphenes crown is probably story related cos the arcadion is open for buisness again and it doesn't seem to be related

anyway bedtime for me it's gone midnight lol

[fiveminuterice]

im legit watch it the whole day, they're back at zero rn and oliver meeting his mom again made me so so so emotional I cried, again,,,

jrwi really out here making me sob </3

-🍪

YOU’RE ALREADY BACK AT ZERO ???

Tbh i kinda wish Ollie’s mom got to be a bit more mad at them about keeping Ollie for so long because. the whole town p much really approves of them but she literally almost died ?? anyways that arc goes crazy tho.

i’m already an episode behind again BAHAHAH i keep procrastinating watching it even tho every time i finish an episode i’m just. :( no more episode ? :(

also yeah i’m 20 B). i am officially older than chip jrwi and boy does that feel weird. man’s literally out here liberating islands and shit and next week i start my new office job. insane.

people usually assume i’m a bit older than i actually am, but i think that goes with most people online and especially for people who aren’t in school.

[gayforcarstairsgirls]

There are two wolves inside you. One of the wolves will be devastated if the queen dies because she's been queen all your life and her death will signal the end of your childhood and you've already lost elderly members of your family this year so it's like the end of an era and you really hate change. The other wolf wants to shitpost about it and make memes.

[danny-chase]

How do you picture in your mind if Dick Grayson made his transitim to Nightwing…but in this timeline, there’s no such thing as the Teen Titans? not the Fab Five, no NTT, nothing Titans, Robin was the sole sidekick, that was it. How do you think it would go down and would you say it would a very dark timeline if that’s the case?

It depends, usually retellings of Dick becoming Nightwing has something as an inciting incident - ie Bruce kicking him out (which doesn't necessarily have to do with the Titans, it has to do with Bruce finding himself so paralyzed and overcome with the fear of losing Dick that he breaks the bond before someone else can - and this of course doesn't justify that behavior, Bruce is the adult and Dick is his child, it's on Bruce to make Dick feel safe and welcome in his own home). So if Bruce kicked Dick out for prior reasons, Dick winds up going to Clark for advice, hears the Nightwing story and bada-bing bada-boom, you've got yourself a Nightwing.

If you wanted something more light hearted, you could go the route of - Dick moves out to college but keeps hero-ing solo at night, but being Robin without a Batman isn't really the same. As he comes into his own as a solo hero, he realizes he's kind of just done with the mantle - he doesn't feel like it fits him more, that he's more mature now (or wants pants or smth). He still wants to keep the connection to his parents, and so he designs the Discowing suit to honor them (and nodding to the Kryptonian legend) and break free of what's been come to be seen as the role of a sidekick, more like how things naturally progressed in the original telling. (Of course at somepoint along the way he drops out of college, no i will not acknowledge him having a degree, that's blasphemy, my boy is a dropout and i love him for it).

Lastly, if you want to go all in on an soft/fluffy version, I can see something like the following happen. No Titans means Dick was never fired. Dick decides not to go to college, or keeps hero-ing with Bruce while attending college close to home. Dick still lives at/near home when Jason is adopted - canonically the two had a good relationship right from the get go (which is really interesting because Dick was initially wary of Tim, Cass, and Damian), and they spend more time together because Dick's living in Gotham rather than NY. Eventually Jason wants to join in the hero-ing, and after a lot of thought Dick willingly passes on the mantle (and tells Jason what Robin means) to signify that he sees Jason as his family (and like in the previous case is ready to take on a solo role), in contrast to Bruce passing it on without his knowledge and Dick having to make peace with it later (there's something that can be so personal about Dick giving Jason his old costume though, and it would be awesome to see a timeline where Dick gets to initiate the process).

So yeah, I don't think it has to be a dark timeline to get a good transition from Robin to Nightwing. It can be, Bruce can be super abusive and that's what drives Dick out but that doesn't really need to happen to get Nightwing. Dick and Bruce can still be on speaking terms when Nightwing happens, I think Nightwing is more a product of Dick growing up, it just so happens that Bruce in canon hasn't taken Dick growing up particularly well - hence why Nightwing seems to be linked with abusive dad Bruce in canon. If Bruce isn't abusive, it still makes sense for Dick to want to be his own hero, and if he has a little brother in the works who wants to be Bruce's next sidekick, it makes sense for Dick to be conflicted, but eventually decide to pass on the legacy to someone he cares for and trusts.

[camscendants]

Happy 1 year anniversary to Frozen 2!

[boyfhee]

𐀔 RED STRINGS OF REWIND | n. riki

PRECIS. you and riki meet again, and again, and again, before you run away from him, only for fate to intertwine your paths, and start from zero, all over again. ( 6.75k )

GENRE. vampire ! riki, mystery, thriller, angst

WARNINGS. mentions of blood, hospitals, murder & deaths, depiction of potentially obsessive behaviour, multiple semi-graphic to graphic descriptions of self-harm, reader is kinda sick in the head both literally and metaphorically, riki is psychotic & he isn't actually a vampire or could be one tbh it depends upon your interpretation, transitions from past to present

NOTE. my cue to dip for next few weeks yawl <3 BTW IM SO PROUD OF THE HEADER BUT TUMBLR RUINED IT AND IT LOOKS WEIRD ON PHONE </3 big thanks to sai ( @jungwonize ) for helping me figure out the characteristics of a vampire pls that legit solved half my issues with this fic and also beta-ing this fr he's so <3 if you don't understand what's happening, i recommend you to read the whole thing because that's the only way for this to make sense. see y'all in a few weeks, happy reading <3

the first time you ran away from riki was when you were five. it was a pleasant day and you were enjoying your evening in the playground downstreet, playing catch with other kids around. an escape wasn’t necessary but you had accidently hurt riki while helping him speed up on the swings. that was the first time you had seen the boy shed tears. ultimately, being the last ones remaining, you saw the sun disappear behind the horizon as his sobs increased, the sand turning red due to blood. at that moment, all you could think of was to run; and so you did.

consequently, you started avoiding him at school. despite being just a kindergarten student, you had a keen eye, always looking out for things that could affect you negatively. perhaps, riki made it to that list, and you found yourself noting his every move. you had your eyes on every breath he took, every action, every word. you sat at the bench farthest from his seat in class, yet still your eyes didn’t leave his sight even for a second. you started lying whenever his mother called your mom, saying she was sleeping or simply, not home. you lied about the parents-teacher meeting being cancelled in case your teacher brings up the events from what happened at the park a few days ago.

the same went on for days, weeks even. you saw the everlasting friendship between riki’s and your mom turn shallow, hanging by a thread, on the verge of breaking. you didn’t mean it. the damage, you didn’t want this to turn into something big. your mom has known his mother since her college. being the top students and the best friends they were, they decided to live in the neighbourhood after the death of their husbands. your father died in a car accident. as for riki, from what you recall, his father never existed in the first place.

maybe the gods were on your side because soon after, your mother was fired from her job and luckily enough, your uncle helped her secure a job in the capital. it was nice, living two thousand one hundred and fifty two kilometres away from him, in tokyo, it felt good. you could finally breathe in relief. maybe, you feel bad for your mom since she had to leave her friends. perhaps, a part of you is upset since you had to leave your friends; though, if you had the chance, you would do it all over again.

you wanted to live peacefully. you don’t want people to blame for what happened. you didn't want to be the reason behind the dark blood stained patch on the sand that made the kids shake in fear in the dead of the night.

the second time you ran away from riki was in highschool. it was unbelievable, having him this close to you. you thought you left him behind, in okinawa, however on the first day of highschool, you had him standing in front of you, and you felt your heart sink into a never ending pit of horror. an escape wasn't planned but it was the only way left when he tried to strike a conversation with you. you both were alone in the dance room, a smile plastered on his face as he recalled the events you buried in the past. you felt your heartbeat accelerate, and your first instinct was to run; and so you did.

you spent that day in the cubicle, crying and fighting your anxiety attack. a couple few knocks on the door made their way to you but you didn't respond, knowing you're better off alone.

it felt horrifying to have your past come back to you. having riki standing in front of you was like a nightmare come true. you had noticed the scar of his forehead; reminding you of everything you buried deep, making sure no one would know about it. you wouldn't say you never expected to see him again. your grandparents live on okinawa and every time you visit them, a part of you anticipated seeing the boy somewhere around. it wasn't scary, really, for you don't live in okinawa and riki doesn't know where you live.

things were perfect, better than you had planned initially, since never once did you come across riki in okinawa. you even visited his house, asking neighbours about him and his family. someone said his father came and the family moved to germany with him. however, you knew that was a lie. your mother might've said that his father passed away when he was three, but you know he never had a father in the first place.

so, eleven years later, seeing him all the way in tokyo, attending the same school as you, it was like seeing death on your door. as if the reaper is at your doorstep, asking for your soul. however, your perfect highschool life turned into a pit of hell when the incident you've been hiding resurfaced again and this time, on a public stage.

‘how did you get your scar?’ a student had asked him, and you froze in your seat. the greater gods weren’t on your side since in the second half of second year, riki transferred to your class. you don’t know how that happened— or if it’s even allowed— he just did, and sat right behind you as you felt the situation grip out of your hands day by day. you expected him to disclose the intels to everyone the way he stared into your back. your heart skipped beats whenever his hand brushed past your back, or when he randomly grew a habit to play with your hair in the middle of science lessons. you didn’t think riki had any intentions of ruining things for you; that is, until that question was brought up during self study class.

you heard him shift his eyes on you as he smiled at the question. ‘ah, it’s a long story.’ he had responded. your grip around the pen in your hand tightened. suddenly, geometry was long forgotten and all you could focus on were the words leaving his mouth. ‘i was playing in a park with a friend,’ he continued, and you gripped the measuring compass, pressing its needle into the desk as your pulse surged up. ‘and got injured. the friend, however,’ you felt his gaze settling on your back once again, goosebumps rising at the sudden eerie change in the air. you lifted the divider off the desk, your right hand fisted up so tightly that you felt your nails leave marks on your palm. ‘what about the friend?’ the student asks, and oh how you wished you could wipe them off their curiosity forever.

sitting and letting him continue would be a mistake, like digging your own grave and waiting for someone to bury you. you couldn’t tell him to stop because that’d be no better than showing up at death’s door. ‘the friend, well,’ you felt him digging holes on your back by the way he’s staring at you. you felt him smirking through his words and sitting would be a mistake, so you took the measuring device and pierced through your wrist, making a deep wound that stained your shirt red, the same way riki’s blood stained the sand.

the students gasped, teachers rushed in, you were escorted to the infirmary. no one questioned about the injury, why or how it happened. their questions concerned your wellbeing and nothing else. their eyes were on you while yours were on riki, who waved at you with a smile before turning his attention towards the blood splatter on your desk like a moondrunk monster. that was the third time you ran from riki. an escape was vital and your first instinct was to get away from him; and so you did.

you didn't attend school after that.

the first few days were off as an excuse for your injury. you deliberately went for your dominant hand, knowing it would offer greater impact than any other part. it was a sporadic decision, yet proven to be worth the pain. you had your friends drop notes at your house, occasionally checking up on you as well. but as your hand got better, the reasons to stay home narrowed to a few numbers, ones that you can count on your fingers. so, burdened by the need of the hour, you prepared another plan.

attending school after three weeks would've been amazing if your brother hadn't called the local suicide hotline. it was six-thirty in the morning, you were in your room while your mom had sent your brother to call you for breakfast, only for him to find on your bathroom tiles, all red and pale from the blood loss from your previously injured wrist. you hated him for calling the suicide hotline. it was a wasted move, but you couldn't blame him when he made things easier for you.

news spreads fast, and gossip spreads faster. the details about you were headlines, if anything. while your teachers worried about you for taking such destructive measures, a few of your friends started suspecting that you had gone crazy. one of them saw you stab your own wrist, other heard you mumbling to yourself. you were also spotted staring at riki with your gaze bearing daggers against his neck. an anonymous post from a kindergarten classmate claimed you to be 'obsessive,' briefing about how you used to stare at riki all day, like a predator eyes their prey.

in just two months, the tables turned and you became the 'creepy' one amongst them. soon after, you stopped having visitors. while you declined some of their visits, others stopped caring about you, as if you would come for them next. your days started feeling longer than usual as your stay at the hospital increased. from psychic ward to er and from er to psychic ward, those were your only two destinations for the next few months. bottles of pills and syrups awaited for you thrice a day as the excessive test procedures became your only companion in the house of dead.

you had spent nights laughing and crying about your poor condition. you didn't think you would ever end up this way, between machines and syringes, taking pills as if they constituted a major part of your meals. it was pathetic, almost shameful. you were tired of running. you changed cities to escape riki. now, you're holding death's hand to save yourself from the same boy you thought you had left behind. you had considered quitting altogether at some point. you remember cutting your wrist right above a major artery, making it deep enough to drench the sleeves of your white hospital gown. you expected it to be the last time you would see your mother. however, you woke up amongst tubes and bandages the next morning, feeling weaker than ever.

your eyes fell upon your mother's pale figure, noticing how thin she had gotten since the last time you saw her. a nurse informed you that you had woken up after four days and your mother didn't even drink enough water during that period. that day, for the very first time in years, you wondered about how this might be affecting her.

suddenly, this game about life and death made no sense. running from riki seemed illogical. staying in the four walls of your hospital room started making you feel suffocated. watching your mother fight for your life day and night made you question your ways for the very first time. for the first time, you wondered if what you had been doing was right. you were ready to quit your act, deciding to change your ways, just for your mother, but that was until riki's name showed up on your mother's phone one night. a look at the call log signified that she had been in touch with riki all along, taking almost every day, texting even.

it felt unreal, like a betrayal. sure, your mother doesn’t know a thing about what you had been planning for years, but riki, of all people, it felt like living with a knife up your throat, and you realised that staying with your mother would be an open invitation to let riki into your life again. so, you decided to run again.

2 : 49 am — you had it planned. you left your room eleven minutes before three in the morning, knowing damn well that your mother would have the best sleep of her life with those five pills of temazepam you had managed to get your hands on after the doctor prescribed her a stronger medication for insomnia. somewhere inside, maybe, you felt guilty for deceiving your mother; or more like, overdosing her with sedatives to execute your escape plan. but none of it seemed to stagger you when the thoughts about your mother keeping in touch with riki flooded your mind.

echoing footsteps with moonlight illuminating the empty corridors, it was too late before you realised that you ran in all the wrong directions, trying not to bump into any hospital staff. you had seen it in the movies, but mortuaries always felt creepier than they make it to be in fictions. there’s an eerie glow in the air, one you can’t see but feel as fear crawls up your skin. you ran your fingers over the ice cold walls, strolling through the empty floor, finding your way out. despite the sinister flow in the air, your heart felt at ease, unlike your thoughts running at a thousand miles per second.

you drag yourself towards the elevator, legs almost giving up from the fatigue stacking up inside of you, the lack of food finally surfacing as your blood adorned fingers leave their imprints on the white walls. you were so busy escaping that you didn’t realise when the dressing on your wrist loosened, consequently making the blood drip down your hands everywhere you go. the elevator chimed, marking someone’s arrival, and before you could process the situation, his name fell off your lips.

‘riki—’ you had whispered in fear, stepping away from him as his feet ascended towards you. there was a smile on his face. not that you could see it, for he was looking at the floor, but you heard his faint chuckle spin into the air. ‘you shouldn’t leave any hints if you’re trying to escape,’ he had answered, wiping off a speckle of blood from his lips as his vision sharpened at the sight of the blood streaming down your hand. his antics were beyond your comprehension. maybe, he was the crazier one between the two of you. he called your name, voice pitched low as your breath hitched. another step towards you and you were running away with tears brimming your eyes.

the escape was impromptu, but equally necessary. your sense of direction dissipated as tears blurred your vision, heartbeat pacing up as you heard his footsteps echoing closely behind you. at that moment, you wondered if running away from him for the first time was the right choice. you could’ve helped him reach his home— which was just a few blocks away from yours— maybe, could have explained the whole situation to his mother and owned up to your mistakes. at that moment, the seventeen-year-old you pitied the five year old yn for the direction your life would proceed in after that innocent incident. and again, you could’ve helped him— could’ve— but you chose not to, for the five year old you were petrified at the sight of the boy looking at his own blood lusciously.

a striking pain surged up your ankles, and you found yourself rolling down the stairs; and if you recall correctly, you had screamed. it was more of a shriek, or a shout for help, one that alerted the couple few staff monitoring the mortuary. their muffled voices reached your ears as the pain emerging from your head seemed to nullify all your senses. you don’t remember a lot from that day, except him, or the way he stared at you with a frown sitting on his face as the nurses put you on the stretcher, a frown that morphed into a menacing smile soon before as your mind gave up on keeping you conscious.

which leads to the present day— in nagoya, where you’re living with your mother— surprisingly — doing quite well at twenty-seven, working as a lawyer at a local law firm. there are days when you look in the mirror, letting your eyes fall over all the scars you have given yourself. you let your mind trace over all the dreaded memories from the past, wondering how you made it out. it was quite funny, actually, resorting to death to escape it.

you haven't heard from riki in the past ten years. not that you want to, but he didn't try to contact your mother like he used to. he's just a sweet little kid in your mother's heart who stopped calling her one day. he's just a figment of her memory, or like a wild nightmare for you. you had heard from your mother that riki's mom passed away a few months after he started attending highschool, and that she sent him money every month to support him.

she's upset, but you're glad he's gone. you're thankful to the deities for finally putting him out of your life. your life feels easier. the incident from your childhood no longer sends chills down your spine. your mother looks healthier, you don't walk on eggshells anymore. occasionally, you wake up in the middle of the night, hyperventilating, whenever an incident from the past slips into your mind as a dream, but it’s fine. you have medications for them. you take medicines for anxiety attacks, for migraines, insomnia, and a lot more, honestly. your problems haven’t disappeared. they’re still there, actively being the reason for the tear stains on your pillow. they are still here, inside your mind, or beside you, walking hand in hand to remind you that you aren’t perfect— you never were. despite your perfect grades and physique, you struggle to remember things. you take antidepressants to continue with your profession. it was a fight, a war, maybe; it still is, and will continue to be one, but it feels nice to live this way, as if the universe has offered you a second chance at life. maybe, it was all worth the risk, worth enough for you to do it all over again.

“you’re zoning out again,” a familiar voice snaps you out of your thoughts, and it belongs to jay. his soft laughter spins into the air, mixing with the fragrant vanilla and cinnamon filling the cafe’s atmosphere with its magic. it feels nice to live this way because you have jay.

you had met him in college when you got lost on the campus. it was your second day, after all, and the locked rooms along with the lack of lighting on the deranged floor reminded you of the hospital. you were close to breaking down when you heard footsteps approaching you, accompanied with a concerned voice. that day, he didn’t leave your side even after classes, making sure to drop you home before continuing on the way to his’.

jay is a nice guy. yeah, he teases you a lot, points out your horrible sense of direction in front of your other colleagues, makes fun of the way you whine every time you have to work past the destined working hours, but it’s fine. he helps you whenever possible, has reserved his weekends for you unless work stacks up his desks. he feels like the highschool friend you wanted to have, like the person you would’ve had a crush on in school if he helped you with your assignments. in short, jay is nice, and even being twenty-seven year old with several never-ending issues didn’t stop you from falling for him.

“ah, by the way,” he speaks up again, gaining each and every ounce of your attention. “i won’t be able to drive you home today.”

“it’s fine. i can go by myself." those are the words you tell, however, a part of you feels upset since you planned on asking him for dinner. "honestly, i don’t know why you drive me home when i live just fifteen minutes away.”

“maybe because your directional sense is basically non-existent?” he mocks and you both step out of the cafe, your steps following him to his car. “still, take care. you know that killer is still out there, right?”

“of course,” a pause. you wonder if jay has something to say— and you swear you're not letting your hopes escalate higher than they already are. over the years, you have learnt to wish for the best and that's all you're trying to do right now.

“do you also think he's a vampire?” he asks, referring to the person the team had indicted this morning.

the question leaves you astonished. one wouldn't expect him to bring up a case that isn't his. jay has his habits— a fixed schedule, appointment limits, minding his own business— there are more. so, having him strike a conversation about something that didn't concern him was new. "what?”

“i don’t believe in vampires and all, but have you seen the fang imprints on the victims’ neck? it seems plausible, no matter how much i try to overlook it.” no, really, as an attorney, you could only think of how obscene this all sounds. you have heard about the rumours, they say the culprit is actually a vampire so hunts every wednesday, sucking people off their blood and leaving them to die, thus earning the notorious name; the vampire killer.

at the age of four, riki told you about vampires. he asked you if you knew what they were, and you responded with the classic definition that any other four year-old would've given. 'bad people who drink blood and are scared of the sun' with an uninterested grimace. your brows furrowed as you saw a sour expression settle in his face. that's when he told you another fact about vampires— they have a set target, and they chase it until it's theirs, no matter how long it takes.

you don't recall if he added anything else, not that you understand his words either, but the smirk on his face told you that riki liked vampires, probably a lot more than anyone else did.

“even if he is, they can’t say that in court,” and to be very honest, you don't want to involve yourself in a case that isn't yours either. it simply isn't worth the time. sure, the rumours going around may fuel everyone's curiosity, but not yours.

he sighs, getting into his car before rolling down the windows. “see you tomorrow. let me know if you get lost on your way home,”

“i will,” you affirm with a laugh, watching him drive away as you proceed to your walk back home.

the last time you represented a murder case was ten months ago, never again. you had a hard time dealing with everything. every mention of dead bodies reminded you of him. but you knew it was all your imagination, for riki was never a serial killer. he was just a boy, though with unusual habits, but still just a boy you had known long ago.

yet you still had your suspicion. you spent days wondering if he's schizophrenic or something along those lines, or if psychosis got the best of him. a clearer look into his condition led you to haemophilia— obsession with blood— which is fine, really, not everyone is the same. people are born different, with distinct characteristics. riki happened to be one of the very few; and honestly, he was never the one to fit the crowd.

you halt in the middle of the streets, interrupted by a call that displays 'prosecutor jung' on your phone screen. “hello?”

"attorney yn, you're required to report at the prosecution office urgently."

"right now?" you ask, confused by the sudden request and that too, two hours after your shift is over. "i'm almost home."

"we have, uh, a few things to discuss about the vampire killer case with you. please report as soon as possible."

and the next second, you hear silence devouring the other side of the line. you sigh, texting your mom that you'd be late so she doesn't have to stay up. call it overthinking or parental care, but even at twenty-seven, your mom looks after you like a five year old. you've had your aunts tell you to move out but honestly, you're having a good time living with your mother. it's better than living alone, given your health conditions.

resultantly, you make your way back to the law firm. this time, with a butter face. the extra working hours don't affect you anymore. you've done that a lot and it's a part of job responsibilities at this point. what's has your attention is the topic of concern, the vampire killer, a case you aren't associated with in any way. you haven't even read all the articles they had published regarding the case, and even if you had, you aren't sure if you would change your mind about the case being an utter idiocy.

you arrive at the firm, taking the elevator to the main prosecution office situated on the fourth floor. the building feels lonelier at night, especially with just a few people working in their cabins as even the quietest of sounds fills in the eerie silence. lifts and hallways always remind of the hospital and everything that had happened there. your skin runs cold whenever you find yourself in an alone hallway at night as the urge to run away tries to conquer your mind.

you have learnt to pay it no mind, though, just like now, as you walk up the empty halls while humming a song to put your mind at ease finally arriving at the designed venue.

"attorney yn," she shoots you an exhausted smile, the fatigue evident on her face. "thank you for coming."

you didn’t want to, actually; she forced you to come. and her being your senior, you had to follow her orders no matter how much you loathe it. "it's alright. what did you want to talk about?"

"yes," she turns around to grab a few documents off her desk before turning back to you. "we've been trying to question our prime suspect. however, he refuses to say anything without a lawyer. here are the files—"

"wait," you interject her words, cutting her off mid sentence. "why me? i mean, i'm not a criminal lawyer."

"we'll, you were requested by the suspect." she explains, her words making you freeze in your stance. "he claims to know you and wouldn't accept any other attorney."

you don't ask further questions, or rather, are not allowed to as mrs. jung and her team escorts you to the questioning room. she assures you that you only have to ask a few questions and after that, their lawyer would take over, but honestly, that's none of your concerns at the moment.

you don’t even know the name of the person indicted. they prefer not disclosing it. you haven’t even seen him because of your sheer indifference towards the case. you don’t know anything except that, his victims die of anaemia. you’ve had your suspicion— it’s him— and you’d be lying if you say you didn’t sleep for days when the news broke out. the truth is, you never recovered from the trauma. you claim to have forgotten the boy you used to play for hours with. you say his name doesn’t affect you anymore. however, the mere news about the blood-thirsty killer in the neighbourhood was a spark to your fears, gradually igniting it, and now it burns like a forest.

amidst all, you find yourself standing before the questioning room, ready to go in, and you have your one thing clear : this isn’t about riki. but that’s just something you’re convincing yourself to believe in for your sake.

you open the door, stepping in, eyes wide open at the sight of complete emptiness in the room, except one police official standing in a corner. you sigh in relief, taking a seat, maybe you weren’t just ready to face the suspect; or perhaps, you simply didn’t want to. the officer informs you that the person you’re about to would be back shortly, for he has gone to the washroom. in the meantime, you decide to look through the intels regarding the case, provided in a file handed over by the prosecutor in charge. there’s no picture— or maybe they didn’t add one— which is odd. there are blank spaces all over the pages with very few details written along the lines : suspect is in his late twenties, unemployed, lives alone, is conjectured to be suffering from renfield’s syndrome— those words leave a bitter taste on your tongue.

you don’t know much about that term. actually, scratch that, you don’t know anything about it at all. you don’t think the team handling the case does either, for there’s only scarce information present in the documents given to—

“it’s been a while, yn.” your breath hitches, heart skipping a few beats before beating restlessly. shivers shoot down your spine as your grip around the papers tightens, crumbling their corners. “we meet again.”

it’s him, you know it, it is him, nishimura riki— you know. he hasn’t changed much. riki still has his devilish eyes beholding a sinister glow. the menacing smirk still adorns his face like diamond jewellery. it has been ten years but the way your name rolls off his tongue still makes your skin crawl, giving you chills as all those memories flood back inside your mind. there’s a pen in your pocket, and you wonder if running away is still an option. you bite the inside of your bottom lips, tapping your foot nervously on the granite floor as the taste of iron conquers your mouth. a part of you wonders how riki would react to that. you look at the officer, and then contemplate doing exactly what you did in highschool.

“you can’t run away now.” riki chuckles. it’s more of a taunting laughter, one that reminds you of all the olden times. it’s infuriating and at the same time, is inducing fear inside your veins. you can’t look him in the eyes— you won’t— it’s the same as losing a game at the cost of your life. you take a sharp breath, digging nails into the palm of your hands once again, before his next words manage to seize your attention. “why have you been running from me, yn?”

it’s an innocent question, really, you wonder if the cameras in the room make you seem like a socially incapable person at the moment. “i’m in a hurry so let’s make this quick—”

“tell him to go out.” you flinch at his words, you always do. there’s nothing in the world that makes you shake in fear as much as riki’s presence. you look at the officer, and then at riki— his lips, because you don’t want to look into his eyes ever again. his words ring inside your head while you consider his request. “you’re taking a lot of time for someone who’s in a hurry, yn.”

you want him to stop calling your name. it’s not appropriate, quite literally, because you’re no longer friends. you’re his attorney and he’s your client, you want to create a line between, though, you dare not to. you look at the officer, gesturing to him to leave as he hesitates for a brief second before stepping out of the room. your instincts are telling you that it was a wrong move, for being alone with riki is equivalent to standing at gunpoint where the trigger pulls when the timer goes off.

“alright, let’s star— let me just—”

“my god, yn, you’re shaking.” he cuts you off, making your fingers wince at his voice. your gaze falls upon the floor, blinking nervously as you bite the inside of your cheeks, making your blood hold the only taste in your mouth. your eyes follow his actions as he stands up from his seat, the metal chair sliding against the floor, making you wince again, taking a sharp breath as he crouches in front of you. “are you scared?”

his voice is no louder than a whisper, but it resonates like a loud thud against your ears. as if someone is screaming in your ears. irritability surges inside of you as you start pricking the skin alongside your nails obsessively, glancing into the camera, waiting for someone to arrive and help you get out of this. the silence in the room trails on your skin, eating you out, before you decide to take the matter in your own hands.

you stand up, pushing your chair away from him with your legs as you exhale heavily. “please, go back to your seat.” you don’t look at him, actively avoiding his sight by running your gaze all over the room anxiously, but you feel his eyes on you like a burden on your shoulders. there’s a sudden shift in the air as he stands up, dragging his chair just next to yours before taking a seat and waiting for you to continue.

“is this okay?” it’s not, and you hate how you feel as if you’ve lost your ability to speak and counter his actions, simply nodding as you sit apprehensively on your chair. you pick one of the files, frantically going through the pages instead of reading it with proper attention. at this point, the case is the last thing you care about. with a heart pacing unbelievably fast, you feel like you’re going to have a heart attack, while your mind is reciting nothing but chants and prayers for the prosecution team to come inside.

riki’s eyes follow your gaze, watching you as you flip though the documents, sweat covering your forehead. his irises settle upon your hand, the one you had injured deliberately in highschool, and then the scars on your fingers and wrist that you had acquired over the years, finally residing upon a certain word on one of the papers that makes him chortle. “do you know about renfield’s syndrome?”

it’s a question that leaves you perplexed, making you freeze in your stance. “yes— i mean, no, i don’t.”

“it’s clinical vampirism, obsession with drinking blood.” there’s slight amusement in his voice as he inches towards you, whispering those words with a straight face. that’s the first time in years you look into his dreadful eyes. a pause, silence fills in the air between the two of you before he claps abruptly, startling you with his maniacal laughter. "it's crazy, right? people don't want to accept that vampires exist so they make it a medical condition."

your blood runs cold at the sound of his laughter. riki was arrested as the prime suspect for one of the most gruesome cases, yet no remorse has been evident on his face ever since you stepped inside the room. you pay his words no mind— try to—because indulging into his thought process would do more to you than you want done, and is, if anything, unnecessarily time consuming. "what were you doing this thursday?"

you inquire, waiting for his response, but not a word comes out of his mouth. he leans against the chair, playing with the ring on his index finger with a stoic face. your breath fastens again, nervousness creeping in as the silence drowns you inside of it. you're scared of riki's words, but you fear his silence even more. it's like a thousand screams lay unveiled behind his silence, and he looks at you as if you're going to be one of them soon.

"why do you always run away from me, yn?" there's sadness dripping off his words along with unknown beads of guilt. "from the playground, then school. you had always run away from me." he removes his ring, placing it on the table before looking at you with a luscious glint in his eyes, the one you saw that day, in the playground. "it makes me want to chase you even more."

another series of villainous laughter spins in the air as you stand up, rushing towards the door to call for help, only for him to make you trip on the calloused floor with his legs. you think you’re finally connecting the dots. however, you don’t want to accept it. his questions hold no meaning to you since he knows exactly what happened. riki knows you didn’t run away from the playground. you told him to stay while you called someone for help, but you turned around when his sobs stopped, only to see him devouring on his bleeding knee succulently. running away was the only escape for the five year old you, who had witnessed her only friend turn out to be a devillious monster.

you fist up your hands again, wanting the nails to pierce through the skin of your palms. you find yourself in the same situations you used to run from in the past, except, there are no escapes with time. your vision blurs as a single tear rolls down your cheeks while you attempt to stand up again.

"there, there; let me help you," the only sound you're able to perceive is his footsteps approaching you as he locks the door, sliding the key back inside his pocket before crouching in front of you once again. “c’mon yn, stop running away. don’t you think we should catch up after all these years?”

strings of no’s fall off your lips along with the tears streaming down your face as you drag yourself away from him, against the cold floor. you look towards the cctv, praying that someone would report soon. truthfully, they should’ve been outside, checking up on the situation since it has taken so much time. you hear riki sigh before shooting you a pitiful gaze. “you know, the cctv isn’t working.”

and just like that, the last strands of hope you’ve been holding onto breaks as you look into the eyes of the person you’ve been running from all your life. it feels as if the world has stopped with your breath caught up inside your throat. you watch his lips curl into a smirk as he inches closer to you, halting a few inches before your ears, whispering, "no one will come." and before you could react, you felt his fangs pierce through your neck as you feel all your senses died down.

perhaps, your biggest mistake is that you saw a friend in a monster. you had known it all along, his habits, the way you saw his mother drink down his father's blood— all of it; and yet, you wanted to believe riki was different. the truth is that everyone is the same under their varied skin. their true colour surfaces according to the need, making them someone the world never assumes them to be, like the innocent boy you once knew became your worst nightmare. and now, all you could do is wait to die as the excruciating pain makes it harder for you to breathe with every passing second.

and hour flies by, and the door finally unlocks, revealing a gruesome scene mrs. jung— blood splatters on the floor and on the wall, scratches on riki's faces, signifying that you had tried to fight, although ending up losing terribly. your pale blue body catches her attention, especially your lifeless eyes that still stare at with disappointment and shock. riki stands up in a daze, handing her his blood-drenched handkerchief. "her mother is next."

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