#but be more careful with words. okay? love you a lot and have a wonderful day/nightđ
MC acting oblivious!
since you're accepting hcs now, how about an mc whos a big tease/bully (aka mammons worst nightmare lol)? im quick to realize when someone has a crush on me and when i like them back i turn into the biggest tease on earth until the other person confesses. im good at acting oblivious so its always "wait, they cant possibly know i like them, right??" poor, poor souls lmao. so im wondering how the brothers+undateables would handle an mc like that! keep up the great work! đ
Hi, good to see you again !!! <3Â
okay i love this so much lets go !Â
Lucifer:Â
Okay so in his case itâs mentioned several times that he is in love with the MC so this ainât just some crush heâs being teased about but thatâs one of the reasons why he loves you so much. Â
He is rather guarded emotianlly as his pride isnât going to let him just fall for anyone. But once he does he is not going to deny it! Â
Lucifer is someone who will ask you out on a date without a warning. The only thing you might notice beforehead is that he spends suspiciously lots of his time with you. (by a lot in his case I mean something in between 30 and 60 mins every second day. heâs a busy man)Â
Him:Â My schedule is tight today but I would like to spend time with you, MC, would you care to join me at a confectionary?Â
MC: sounds like youâre very busy, are you sure about that? đĽş
Him, slightly offended but still lovingly: Yes, MC. Let me express myself better... would you please have a date with me today?
MC:Â oh....um-
Mammon:
â oh god, oh jesus, oh no
â We all know The Great Mammon has a hard time admitting his feelings out loud, with words, bluntly.
â So the way I see it, the situation is about to be Awkward As Hell.
â Mammon is clearly sweating, butterflies occupying his entire stomach, he fiddles with his nails.
â Him: So MC, I was thinking- I mean I'm thinking- wanna go skating with me tonight?
MC: Oh that's a very romantic idea- but I think friends don't just go skating, you know.
Him: Friends??! I don't wanna be just your friend MC-
You: Then? Then what?
Him: Goddamn I- I just want to be yours- Jesus ya are makin' it so difficult MC, it is not easy as is!!
Leviathan:
â ahh the frustrated face he makes through this conversation isn't just a facade. He really is stressing right now.
â Him: MC.... there is something I must tell you. And you only. Please listen and don't tell anyone!
MC: Don't worry Levi, I too hate people who gossip-
Him: No it's not like that. I have a desire in my heart that I must share with you as you are the most special person I ever met and I can only hope you feel the same way for me and- I feel so embarassed but I've been meaning to ask you this- would you be my partner? My player 2?
MC: well if you wanted me to play you could have just said so like you always do-
Levi: What?? Is that what you understood? No MC you don't get it! Ahhh I knew I shouldn't have asked you my chances with you are close to zero-
MC: Wait Levi I'm so sorry-
Satan:
â You could tell he was acting different these past couple of days. He was texting you more, he offered to spend more time with you- it was obvious he likes you.
â He knocked on your bedroom door and as you liked him just as much as he liked you, of course you let him in.
â I think you acting like you don't know what's going on turns him on? Like he know you ain't stupid. He knows you like him at least a little bit too, otherwise he wouldn't be here talking with you.
â Him: So MC, are you free now?
MC: Well, it depends on how you define "free" I think.
Him: Oh quit it please.
MC: I would if I knew what you were up to right now-
Him: Alright. You are going to make it more complicated, I see. In this case, meet me at 4PM at the common room. Please. I'd like to take you on a date if you're free.
MC: Inside the house? Weird if you ask me-
Him: ...... you are right actually. Let's meet at the park then. Don't be late.
Asmo:
â Again he would absolutely love you acting like you noticed nothing when he couldn't be more clear about what he wants.
â He knows this game though & he is quicker than you are.
â Him, cuddling you: So MC I have been thinking about us....what are we?
â MC: We are.... the best. Me, a human, and you, a demon.
Him: Nooooo, you know that's not what I meant!!!
MC: Well I don't know what you mean Asmo. Aren't we though?
Him: Aren't we what? A human and a demon?? Ahhhhg stop playing with me MC!
Beelzebub:
â Ohh babe is going to believe you actually don't know what' going on-
â I think he'd find it funny when he realizes you were just acting like such-
Him: MC. I like you.
MC: Okay, I like you too. That's why I'm your friend.
Him: Yes we are friends I know... but to me you are the first person I want to talk to if anything happens, good or bad... you are on my mind all the time, no matter what- I haven't felt like this in my entire life- you are the most special person to me, MC.
MC: Ohhh... I didn't realize-
Him: I only went out with Mammon yesterday because I thought... I was hoping you'd be there to, that you'd join... I just wanted to spend more time with you. But you weren't there. Let's go somewhere together today- I mean, if you want to-
Belphegor:
â MC you are about to annoy him to deatg to be fair.
â Depending on his mood he might join you though!!!
Him: So human- I mean MC. Let's hang out today.
MC: We already do.
Him: I meant as a date, stop playing stupid.
MC: I don't like being called stupid. Is this how you are asking me out on a date??
Him: See I knew you knew what I meant!
MC: Why would you ask me on a date though, aren't we just friends?
Him: .....
Him: We could change that- I want to be your one and only.
MC: Well if you are my one and only friend I might get lonely when you're too busy for me though-
Him: Stop it don't say another word. Are you coming today or not? MC? You listening?
MC: you just asked me to shut up-
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pt 3!!
here you can find the other parts of pour toujors
-
"Hey love!" Pascale welcomes me with open arms at her doorstep. Despite being in Monaco, their house isn't overly fancy. It's the same simple yet beautiful home since I met Arthur.
"Hey Pas!" My smile always lights up when I see her, and her hug brings me back to my childhood.
She greets the boys with kisses on their cheeks and grabs the groceries, turning her gaze towards me. "Lou, come help me with dinner, let's catch up." She says with a warm look at the end; I already know what our conversation will be about.
The boys head towards the living room, and I follow Pascale to the kitchen. She knows I'm terrible in the kitchen, and it's obvious I won't be much help, so I sit on a stool, leaning on the counter, waiting for someone to say something.
We sit in a loud silence for a while until I decide to break it. "They called me two days ago, said they wanted to talk. I guess I should give them a chance, right?" I say with uncertainty in my voice. This has happened before, and I don't know why I'm letting it happen again. I just can't seem to avoid it.
She comes closer and places her hand on mine for comfort. "Lou, we've seen this before, you know where this will lead, it's only hurting you more."
"But despite all that, they're my parents, Pas."
"I've told you many times, parents are those who care for you, not just those who brought you into this world." Tears well up in my eyes; how can I be so naive to trust them after all this? But worse, how can I be so foolish to want to give them another chance and just can't seem to stop?
"Look, I just want what's best for you, Loulou. You're my heart's daughter, and you know I hate seeing my kids sad, right?" She continues with a soothing voice that calms my heart amidst all this mess.
"I feel so useless. I've tried everything for them to love me, but it seems like nothing ever worked. It was always my sister, always. She was the princess of the house, it was hell. And maybe the fault isn't on either of us, but on those monsters I can call my parents. I just wish they'd love me for a second, is that too much to ask?" I let it all out, the words and my tears. I can't talk much about this with Arthur. Yes, he'd understand, but it's not the same.
Little did I know that someone was behind the door listening. Charles.
He enters the kitchen silently; only Pascale saw and didn't tell me anything. She knows that, despite Charles not being my best friend, he would always support and help me with anything I needed.
Charles was the only one, besides Pascale, who knew all about this. Well, almost everything. She knew she could trust him and that he would give advice to me, even if not directly.
He starts approaching and sits next to me, and when I notice, I quickly wipe my tears. Until he asks his mother for something. "Mom, could you leave us alone for a moment, please?"
She nods and leaves the kitchen, leaving just the two of us side by side. Him watching me and me with a distant look, focused on the table at the same time.
"Lapine, with what little I heard just now, I already understand all your feelings," he lies a bit. "You're such a strong person, and I admire you a lot. I know we're not that close, but I wish we were. But most importantly, I want you to know that you can always count on me, no matter what, I'll always be here for you, okay?" He finishes, and my tears keep falling. No man besides Arthur had ever said that to me before; I couldn't hold back.
"You know, Charlie? I see you and your siblings all happy and being treated the same way, and I wonder why my family isn't like that." His fingers go towards my face to gently wipe the liquid flowing from my eyes.
"Look, Lapine, every family has its weaknesses. Do you think I don't wonder every day why Papa and Jules are gone? I know, it's hard, but we have to accept it over time. You've been our family since the day you met Arthur, don't worry, we're here for you, always."
He finishes saying, and I pull him into a hug without hesitation; those words warmed my heart immensely. "Don't let them back into your life, Lapine, you don't deserve that."
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Scandalous (Blitzø x Fem!Succubus!Reader x Stolas) [Helluva Boss] pt. 3 - The Imp
How the mighty do fall.
(Getting into a weird three-way situation with an imp and a succubus isn't exactly considered classy, Stolas)
He's not just a bitch! He's a bitch with a backstory.
pt. 1 | pt. 2
Word Count: 3,140
Warnings: a lot of trauma related stuff, a lot of self-deprecating thoughts, some things are canon-compliant and some are my own, i think that's it, also hey look it's the reason blitzø wanted to sneak into ozzie's so bad!
Blitzø has been called many different things throughout his life.Â
Most of those things have been insults but, hey, whoâs keeping track?Â
From an entitled prick to a selfish asshole to shit-for-brains to imp scum to⌠well, you get the gist of it. You name it, heâs been called it. And he was perfectly fine with being all of those things.
Heâd decided very early on that he would own any titles he was given if it meant he had any sort of control over how they affected him.Â
And it worked. If he was going to be called useless, or selfish, or a low-level regardless of what he did, he was just going to let himself become all of those things. If no one expects anything good to come from him anyway, why should he even care to try? This wouldnât help stop them saying all those awful things he hated to hear about himself, but at the very least heâd be at peace knowing he wasnât spending his entire life humiliating himself for the off-chance that someone would see him the way he wanted them to.
That way, heâd always have the upper hand.
Growing up in the circus, Blitzø learned at a very young age that he was no more than a collateral to his father. âUselessâ at being sufficiently entertaining, as he always heard he was, Blitzø understood entirely too well that he was only kept around for the simplest of all things he was: unpaid labor and an obligation.
At times, in his teenage years, heâd start to wonder if he would ever have been kept around at all if it werenât for his mother. Â
And sometimes, well into adulthood already, Blitzø would find himself hurting people. Really hurting people. Sometimes even on purpose, without ever fully understanding why he did what he did. Most of the time he would try and ignore it, or pretend not to care, try to convince himself it was for the best that he kept his distance from people.Â
But, at certain times, thoughts of his mother would consume him. Would she be proud of who he had become?Â
He hardly thought so.Â
There were times when he would even find himself wondering who he could have grown up to be had she stayed around for longer. Would he be nice? Kind? Caring?
Would he be loved?
But she wasnât around, and that was his fault, he kept reminding himself. And that wasnât fucking fair.Â
His mother was always kinder than his father ever was. She was sweet and caring and always made sure to check on him. The moments they spent together were always his favorite as a kid.Â
When she was with him, it almost felt like nothing else mattered, as if her presence could shield him from anything- he always blindly believed her when she told him time and time again that everything would be okay. It was a nice feeling.Â
She was always full of life, always the soul of every room she entered, always cheering Blitzø back up when he was down. She was always pure light.
Except when his father was around.Â
Blitzø loathed the way her demeanor changed around him, how she minimized herself to be next to him. When he was young, heâd always toyed in his mind with the idea of her being two different people who shared the same body: there was his mother, and there was his fatherâs wife.Â
His mother was kind, compassionate, caring, free. His fatherâs wife was cold, quiet, dull. Â
Fizzarolli entered his life really early on.Â
At merely seven years old, he was taken into the circus after losing his parents in a freak accident, and Blitzø remembers the day they met clear as day.
Fizz was small. At the young age of eight years old, Blitzø vividly remembers his mind conjuring the term âfragileâ to describe him.Â
Scared and vulnerable, Fizzarolli was an emotional creature, only a kid, after all. And that demanded care. At first, Blitzø really didnât enjoy having to share his mother as a caregiver in the slightest. He was also only a kid, after all.
As time passed, though, he grew to quite like Fizzâs presence. Heâd never really been much too surrounded by other kids, as itâd always been only him and his parents, and now he had a best friend! Someone to talk to and play with all the time, and who was as eager for a friend as he was himself.Â
A couple years later, at ten years old, Blitzø received news from his parents: he was going to be a big brother. His father didnât seem to express too many feelings about that- he never really expressed much other than disdain when it came to him, for the matter, but his mom seemed excited.Â
Blitzø wasnât exactly sure how to feel about it. Sure, he got used to sharing his life with Fizz, but that was enough, wasnât it? Things were good as they were, why mess it up with another kid?
When Barbie was born, Blitzø made it his personal goal to express just how much he disliked the idea of having a sibling- but that only lasted a few weeks. A few weeks of being rude and purposefully stubborn were enough for him to notice how hurt his mother was that he was acting that way, especially when she was already clearly overwhelmed with taking care of the baby along with himself and Fizzarolli.Â
Being the reason for his motherâs tears was the thing he hated the most in the whole wide world.
And so he stopped. It took him many months for his feelings about his sister to really change, but he decided he wouldnât be so mean about it anymore, for his momâs sake. And, with time, he grew used to his sister too. Sure, she was annoying and extremely clingy, as all babies and younger siblings are, and yes, heâd still act annoyed at her, but he started to not mind it as much.
He started to care.
At ten years old, too, on a random day, something rather unusual happened: his father came looking for him after a show, prompting him to stand up from the floor where heâd been playing with Fizz and their balloon horses, because heâd been⌠sold?
Yeah, thatâs right. His dad told him, normal as ever, that apparently one of the Goetia princes had seen their part of the show earlier, and his father wanted to, quite literally, purchase Blitzø for the rest of the day.Â
âEw. Why?â
âBecause money!â That always seemed to answer plenty when it came to Good Old Cash.
He was dragged to the Goetia palace with a purpose: to steal everything he could. That didnât feel right nor did it feel safe. After all, who knew what sort of bad things could happen to him if he got caught stealing from royalty? He was young, but he knew they werenât demons you wanted to mess with.Â
He was scared.Â
But they needed the money, and his dad had pulled the card that could get him to do basically anything he was asked to: âdonât you want to help your mother?â
Of course heâd do anything to help mama.Â
Getting back home, he felt bad. Because the prince had been kind to him the entire time. Because the prince was naive, clearly not even having considered the possibility of Blitzø having been there to do what he did. Because everything his dad had told him about the big bad royals seemed to fall flat with Stolas.Â
Getting back home, he still struggled to understand why he had been the one chosen to go, and not Fizz, when Fizz was clearly a better⌠well, everything⌠than he was.Â
It was all too confusing, growing up with Fizz. As much as he loved him, there would always be a part of him that felt jealous, insecure around him. Because, to him, it seemed his best friend was everything he wanted to be and everything he wanted to be seen as. A better entertainer, a better friend, a better kid to his parents. Everything Blitzø could never live up to.
But, as he grew older, he came more and more to the realization that it wasnât Fizzâs fault. It was all his parents. Or, rather, it was mostly his father. He was the one who put the two against each other, when, time and time again, they showed they only wished to work together, to be kids, to be friends⌠or more, maybe?
On the day of Fizarolliâs 17th birthday, Blitzø had been set on confessing the feelings heâd come to nurture towards the boy. Never used to this sort of thing, the only person heâd told about it was his mom, who had smiled oh-so-sweetly at him and hugged him as he let out tears, assuring him that it was okay for him to feel that way, even if it was scary. Heâd prepared a badly rehearsed but well-meaning speech, written something for him in a birthday card, and even gone as far as stealing a rose from someoneâs backyard to give him too.
Fizzarolli would have never even dreamed heâd have ever done all that for him, because he didnât give him the card, and he didnât give him the rose, and he didnât tell him how he felt. Because there Fizz stood, laughing with his friends- friends! Friends who looked better and acted cooler and who were so, so much more interesting than Blitzø could ever be. He wasnât a kid anymore, but he was still young. He still let his jealousy get the best of him, still let the frustration of feeling pathetic for even considering the chance that his best friend could feel the same way he did consume him.
But, as angry, as frustrated, as sad as he was, he never meant for it all to happen.
The fire changed everything.
His mother was gone because of him. His best friend almost died because of him. Barbie only went unharmed in sheer, dumb luck. Everyoneâs lives were ruined, and it was all his fault.Â
And so he decided heâd be better off far away. Not forever. Not for long. But, for now, everyone was sure to be better off without him near. Heâd caused enough destruction already and heâd forever have the scars to remind him.
So he left. Simple as day, he told a crying, barely eight-year-old Barbie heâd be back soon and left a note for his father to find and give Fizz when he recovered.Â
Not forever. Not for long.Â
The next time he saw his sister again was nine years later. And he tried. He so desperately tried to be present again. But Barbie didnât seem to think it was fair of him to go no-contact for so many years. Yes, their father sucked- but leaving meant he left her to grow up alone with him. She lost a mother too. He wished things were different, but couldnât blame her.
Two years later, at nineteen years old, was the first time Barbie had to be checked into rehab. Blitzø went there to visit every week, of course, but she never let him in.Â
Just like Fizz, no matter how many times he tried, she simply didnât want to see him.
After the fire happened, Blitzø decided he wouldnât work as a clown ever again, cutting short his own big, flashy dreams.
 But that was the only thing he ever learned to do, and that made things difficult. For years on end, he had to jump from one job to another, trying to find anything he could to make a living for himself.Â
He was never all that eager to admit to this part of his past, but there were times during which heâd slept on the streets or forced himself onto one one-night stand after the other just to have a place to crash. At some point, he found himself gambling the little money he got from working here and there.Â
Thatâs how he met Verosika Mayday, anyway. At a cheap, dark, dirty club in Lust, as he tried to drink his sorrows away and let his luck decide whether heâd be able to pay for his stay at some gross little inn room down in Greed for the night or not, and she tried to kickstart her singing career, standing on the poor-lit makeshift stage with her electric-pink electric guitar and singing something barely anyone was paying any attention to.
A few years later came Loona. And Loona was love at first sight. At first, he wasnât looking for a hellhound like her to adopt. He wanted a pet.Â
But she looked so scared and angry, and so, so much like himself. She was about to be thrown out of the system into the streets to fend for herself at only eighteen. He knew what that was like entirely all too well, and he knew it wasnât pretty. He wasnât exactly the most sensitive person ever, but if only he could be something like a family to her, if only he could help her in any way so she didn't have to be all aloneâŚ
He adopted her immediately.Â
It was a crazy idea, for many, very obvious reasons. First off, heâd just started making enough to make rent for a one-bedroom apartment in a shitty side of imp city. Second off, even though he was doing slightly better, he still barely made enough to feed himself alone. Third off, he had no fucking clue how to be a parent. Much less how to parent a teenager.Â
But he made it work. He promised himself heâd make it work. He worked everywhere he could find, doing anything he possibly could (and, in hell, that meant anything), at any crazy hour, to make enough to support Loona. He bought books about parenting that he couldn't really read much of because most of them were targeted to soon-to-be parents of⌠well, babies, and included nonsense, fancy-pants words he didnât have the patience to try and understand, but he tried his best to be a good parent to her.Â
He never forced her to call him dad or anything of the sort, because he could understand how that was probably hard. He still couldnât stop himself from shedding a few emotional tears when she did, even if most times were slip-ups.Â
About a year or so later, he was set on a goal: he wanted to make a living for himself. Really make a living. Blitzø was tired of putting himself through every single job he could find just to barely make enough for him and Loona.
Well, itâs not exactly like heâd be the winner in a competition for the best morals in hell.
He started stealing. What? This was hell!Â
The lifestyle went surprisingly well for him. He wasnât making bank, but it beat working like 24 hours a day to barely survive. As time went on, though, he started getting more and more confident. Stealing more, from wealthier, more influential people, pushing himself to do better each time things went well for him, having fun with letting things get more violent and subsequently bringing attention to himself.Â
He was bound to steal too close to the sun someday. After a particularly⌠well, greedy robbery down by the Greed ring, things went south quickly, resulting in his arrest.Â
Jail sucked, but honestly, heâd had worse. And, hey, his cellmate was sufficiently cool.Â
Moxxie wouldnât tell him much about his past or how he ended up there, but that wasnât to worry when he didnât particularly want to do the same either. What mattered was he had a plan to escape and a plan for after that and Moxxie could be of assistance.Â
Escaping wasnât easy, and the two of them didnât leave exactly unharmed, but it was successful.Â
The grand plan for after that was to start a company that specified in hired assassinations. Moxxie wasnât perfectly happy with the idea, but damn was he good with a gun.Â
But two not-even-that-much-experienced assassins didnât really make a company, did they?
After a lot of convincing, even though they didnât even keep in contact quite as much as they used to anymore, he somehow got y/n, a succubus heâd become friends with about a year before, to agree to work with them.Â
Okay, threeâs a crowd.Â
Millie joined in not long after.Â
Fourâs a party. Or, well, a hired assassination company.
They worked phenomenally well all together as a team- even Loona was brought into the business, though Blitzø never really let her participate in the killing. Business went okay⌠until it didnât. Things didnât work as well in reality as they did in their minds- not for very long, at least.Â
And so Blitzø had to bring back into light the same dumb, far-fetched idea heâd had a year earlier.
âWhat if we could kill humans?â He blurted out during a meeting in which the point of discussion was how to increase business.
You made a face at him. âWhat the fuck are you talking about?âÂ
âI mean it. Like, imagine how many of these sinners are walking around here just double-dying to have someone that they hate up there dead too. Weâd have clients like forever!â
âIf that were possible, Blitzø.,â Millie chimed in.
âIt is possible.â
âBoss, no offense, but did you hit your head again?â Moxxie questioned, understandably confused.
âY/n knows what I'm talking about!â
âWhat? No I don't.â
âYeah you do. Your best friend Ozzie-boy has something that could let us do that.â
âAre you- wait.â Thereâs no fucking way. âWhen we met- were you- were you trying to steal an asmodean crystal?â
âI was not not trying to steal an asmodean crystal.â
âUh, what is an asmodean crystal?â Loona asked, and you were surprised sheâd even been paying attention.
You sighed. âAsmodeus has these enchanted crystals that can be used to create portals to the living world. We- uh- we get to use them at times. When necessary.â
âSee? Itâs perfect! Heâd totally give you one.â
âNot for this. I think you forgot Fizzarolli hates your guts. Ozzieâs not gonna give me a crystal so I can help you with something. Really what the fuck did you even do to this guy?â
Blitzø ignored your last question completely. âHe let you work with me,â he commented, matter-of-factly.
âHeâs not my owner, asshole. But no. Itâs not happening.â
Well, he'd really hoped it wouldn't have to come to this, but⌠he did know someone else who had a little something that could grant access to the living world.
A/N: I bet with so much complaining yall werent expecting this to actually come out huh expect the unexpected
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Day 13 - Talisman, 763 words
They move to the couch again, keeping a distance from each other. Jamie would have this conversation curled up in Roy's lap if he could, but he can tell Roy needs some space right now, and that's okay.
He can give him that if it means he's going to tell Jamie what's going on in that beard-y head of his.
Wearing Roy's shirt still helps. It smells like him, and it's comfortable. Jamie lets his fingers stroke over the fabric, soft from being worn often, and it's a sort of talisman against the nerves still squirming in his gut.
"You ain't getting any younger, granddad," he teases, gently urging Roy on.
Roy grunts in response, his lips turning up at the corners. "I'm sorry," he says in that low, rumbling voice of his. "I know I'm being a prick. I keep trying to make decisions for you becauseâ Fuck. Because you've got all this fucking potential, and there was no one around when I was your age to tell me not to run myself into fucking the ground or to stop and fucking think sometimes. I guess I got it in my head that I needed to do that for you."
Jamie's quiet for a moment, suddenly overcome with even more fondness for this prickly twat. Always wanting the best for Jamie, but somehow blind to the fact that he's on the list.
"I appreciate it, you know that, yeah? Everything you've done for me, all the ways you push me. Even when you're not letting me have any fun. I know you're doing it because you care."
"I do," Roy agrees softly. "I fucking care about you a lot. Probably too much."
"No such thing, Roy."
"There is," Roy insists. "Trust me. Me and Keeley...It was too much. I cared too much. Wanted to be around her all the time. She didn't like that." He turns his face away, and it's clear how much that still fucks with Roy's head.
"I'm not Keeley, though? I mean, I love herânot like that," Jamie rushes to say. "But she's...dunno. She's got her whole independent boss bitch thing going on, right? She wants to spread her wings and take the world by storm."
"And you don't?" Roy asks.
Jamie hums. Considers. "I do, yeah. I want to keep winning and keep showing off and keep being fucking amazing at what I do, but...I don't wanna do it alone, Roy. I want you to be there for all of it. You ever notice that we already spend basically all day together anyway?"
Roy snorts. "I've fucking noticed. You're always underfoot somewhere."
"Fuck off, you love it. And at the end of the day, I still wanna follow you home.
"You mean that." It's not phrased like a question, but Jamie can still hear the wonder in Roy's tone.
"Yeah, mate," he replies gently. "I wasn't kidding when I said I'm pretty gone on you. That's just...what that looks like for me. You make me feel good. Safe, like. I fucking love how intense you are about shit that matters. Makes me feel like I matter."
Roy exhales in a messy rush, but he finally looks at Jamie again. "You do matter," he says seriously. And then, "I do want you, Jamie. A whole fucking lot. I want you to follow me home, and I want to make you dinner. I want to be able to show you how fucking proud I am of you sometimes, when you're such a brilliant little prick out there on the pitch. I want to fuck you into my mattress again, and make good on your dream of me fucking you over the couch. Hell, I want to fuck you in every fucking room of my house. On every fucking surface."
"Fucking hell, Roy," Jamie breathes, smacked in the face by another wave of need.
"Too much?"
"Fuck no. Not complaining. You're just fucking getting me hot, and I'm gonna be properly pissed off if you're about to try to let me down easy."
"No. No, I wantâI want to fucking do this. If you can put up with me being a miserable prick all the time."
He's quoting Jamie with that, and being so fucking open and honest that it takes Jamie's breath away. The worry of the last few days is melting away, and Jamie feels lighter than ever. They're going to work, the two of them, and it's going to be fucking mint.
"Nah," he says, grinning. "Gonna make you a whole lot less miserable instead."
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what if purple never calls him dad
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hold on just a dam min- YOUR SICK?! OMG ARE YOU OKAY?! DO YOU HAVE A FEVER!? ARE YOU COLD?! AND YOU DYING?! DO YOU NEED A DOCTOR?! AGAIN, ARE YOU OKAY?! BESTIEEEEEEEEEE ARE YOU DEAD?! (´ŕźŕşśŕ˝źĎŕźŕşśŕ˝ź`)
IF YOU DONT ANSWER IN THE NEXT 1-2 DAYS IMMA CALL 911
@mel-loly
@mel-is-genderfluid
@mel-ender-eye
Hey mate/p, hru? How's your day going?
Please, don't freak out like that.. Even if it's just a joke, it's not cool to play with it... I'm very sick, Ik, but I'm already getting a little bit better, maybe in a few days I'll probably be fine. And that's my problem, you don't need to keep calling any doctors, or involving the police or anything like that, because I'm already under medical care. I'll be fine, okay? You can worry, like- I think it's very nice of you, but.. Don't be in that despair, please. Thank you.
(read the tags)
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GOT WHAT YOU WANTED
summary: you're rafe's best friendâkelce and top's too, but there's always been something more between the two of you. neither of you will do anything about it. clearly, the solution is to become friends with benefits.
now spinning: too many nights by metro & future
word count: 11.5k
warning/tags: kook trio reader, using jj to make rafe jealous, mentions of drugs/partying, jealous/possessive rafe and reader, smut !, rafe deals coke. tysm to @zyafics for betaâing & helping me so muchh & @inimamea for being so lovely and supportive. tysm to all the lovely anons who have been supporting and loving this concept from the start, i hope u all love this ⥠(but sorry in advance if u donât)
truth be told, you didnât like making rafe angry.Â
it wasnât fun for you, like other things wereâwatching your boys play golf while you lounged in the cart with the cold drinks, picking out a pretty outfit for the day, crashing on the couch at tannyhill with your head in rafeâs lap and feet over kelceâs legs.Â
those were fun things. what you were doing now, with jj, was something borne of necessity. youâre not a mean girl. you find it tough to be mean to anyone except rafe, actually, and only because he dishes it back and you know his feelings arenât really hurt, but right now you were being mean.
to jj that is.Â
you smile at the blond boy seated next to you, the golden glow of the bonfire casting its warmth onto both of you. you laugh at another joke he makes, but only half-hearted, taking another sip of the beer heâd gotten you from the keg.
jjâs funny, heâs sweet too. itâs not his fault you wish you were seated next to your best friend instead of him, drinking a strawberry seltzer from the case that rafe keeps in the back of his truck specially for you.Â
âso?â jj asks, and you turn from staring at your shoes to look up at him. heâs looking at you with a smile, a very charming smile that you could have a lot of fun with, except youâre starting to feel bad about toying with him like this.Â
âso?â you repeat back, softly. he leans in a little to hear you. you feel a little warm at the action, but it could just as easily be from the fire.Â
jjâs niceâand youâve always liked nice, preferred it to almost anything. every boy you had ever introduced to your trio had been nice, though rafe hadnât ever cared. heâd hated them from the moment heâd laid eyes on them. you wonder now when you let him seep into your mind like this, with every other thought about rafe rafe rafe. somewhere in between accepting jjâs invitation to come to the bonfire with him and getting jealous over the fact that rafe was seeing some random girl.
âyou didnât tell your other boy about this, didâya?â you look up at jj with eyebrows knitted, puzzled.
âother.. boy?â
âcameron.â now you really flushâyou certainly donât want jj to think rafe is your other anything.
âno, no. weâre not dating. weâre just friends.â
âright, okay. you tell him about tonight?â
âno. it didnât come up.â
âah. got it.â
âwhy?â you ask, and before you can look around, jj stares into the distance, gesturing with his eyes to a blurry figure.
ânothinâ. heâs just been starinâ at us since we sat down, so i figured, but-â you stand up, looking into the distance where rafe was. you can feel yourself turning green with envy, red with rage, watching him stand next to the same girl heâs been with, her looking at rafe while rafe looks at you.
you sit back down on the log, wrapping a hand around jjâs arm and pulling him down to sit beside you. from this angle, rafe canât make out anything but your backs, and maybe the lack of any real distance between you and jj.
âsorry,â you say, sweetly, almost having regained your wrath the second you saw the two of them standing together. âheâs crazy.â
âsâokay. not news to me, princess.â jj takes a pause, and you chew your cheek, trying to decide how far you were willing to take this. âyou okay?â
âyes. why wouldnât i be?â
âwell, uh, it doesnât take a genius. even though, yâknow, i am one, to know somethinâs up.â
âno, jj, i promise, weâre ju-â
âjust friends, yeah, i got it. i mean, i donât know what type of friends exactly, but uh, i like you. and iâll like you even if he has a problem with it. so up to you, really.â you glance up at jj, who is being nicer to you right now than you deserve.Â
and you hate it, hate every second of it. you hate how rafe makes you feel, how angry and jealous you get, the fact that you even started talking to jj when in the back of your mind you knew it was because rafe would get upset over it.
but you also hate what rafeâs doing, the girl heâs with and the way heâs with her, the fact that he brought her here and still wonât stop shooting daggers into jjâs head. in short, you hate all of it.Â
you lean in, resting your head against jjâs shoulder.Â
âiâm sorry. i donât know whatâs going on with him. but, heâs here with a girl.â
âand youâre here with me.â jj wraps an arm around you.Â
âyes, but not because-well, i donât know.â it feels stupid coming out, but if jj thinks that, he doesnât show any signs of it.
âsâokay. donât always have to know.â you keep your head on his shoulder, enjoying the warmth he brings. âby the way, heâs still watching.â you smile, though you canât tell which boy elicited it. âi mean, not gonna complain if i get to be your boy toy for a little but, nice to know you care-â you giggle, pulling away to put your drink on the sandy ground.
âyouâre telling me you donât want a sugar mama?â he laughs at your words and you relish in it.Â
it could be picture perfectâwaves crashing in the back, the fire flickering in front of you, stars sparkling above. jj keeps his hand on your cheek and leans in for a kiss, and you find yourself leaning too, when the voice of your best friend breaks the silence. you pull away from jj to look up at rafe standing behind you.
âhey. weâre goinâ. câmon.â
ârafe-â you start, but you get interrupted. jj stands, facing rafe.
âhey buddy, weâre a little busy. but uh, iâll make sure she gets home safe-â
âguys-â
âwasnât fuckinâ talkinâ to you, pogue-â
âtuck her into bed, and everything. donât worry your little head âbout it-â
âmâgonna knock your little head out if you donât get the fuck away from-â having heard enough, you drag rafe away by his arm, your pretty nails digging in harshly.
âwhat the fuck was that, rafe?â you ask, though you feel the bitterness coursing through your veins. howâs that fairâthat he parades his girlfriend around you, at the club and here at the bonfire, but you canât so much as spend a moment alone with jj.Â
whatever reservations you had just held about using jj to make rafe jealous seem to have gone far away. instead youâre just angryâhe wants his own girlfriend and he wants you without a boyfriend too. you turn to look back at the boy you left behind at the fire. jj gives you a thumbs up.
âhow many times do i have to fuckinâ tell you to-to stay away from that pogue-â
âhe has a name,â you counter, so defensive because jj was being nice to you even when he didnât have to be, helping you even with no gain for himself. âand you canât order me around, okay? you brought a girl here but i canât talk to jayj? how does that make any sense?â
âstop yellinâ,â he barks, grabbing you by the arm now, and guiding you away.
âwhy? afraid someone might hear us? like your little girlfriend? whereâd she go, by the way, i bet sheâs missing you right about now-â
âshut up. shut it.â you donât realize how far rafeâs dragged you until you shake out of his tight grip, standing next to his truck on the street.
âiâm sick of this rafe.â it comes out quieter than you intend, tears prickling up. you hate crying, especially infront of the boys but even more so infront of rafe. âiâm not stopping my life and boys that i wanna see, and relationships i want to have because youâre not okay with it. not when you have your own girlfriend. itâs not fair.âÂ
âi donât. i donât have a girlfriend.â you roll your eyes, he watches it happen with a tight fist, jaw clenching.
âyes, you do.â
âno, i donât.â
âyou donât?â you question, unbelieving. âyou just.. walk around with the same girl for weeks. take her everywhere. but sheâs not your girlfriend?â youâre snarky like alwaysâyou still donât know if he likes it or not.
âno, sheâs not.âÂ
âbullshit. at least get your fucking story straight, rafe. that girlâs probably half in love with you-â
âmânot dating her. and if it bothered you so much how come you didnât say something, huh? you pull this shit with fuckinâ maybank instead?â
âiâm not pulling anything with jj.â you lie through your teeth, hoping rafe bites. âi-i like him.â
âno you fuckinâ donât.â
âwho are you to tell me-â
âyou donât like him. what you like is makinâ me fuckinâ angry. well, it worked. stay the fuck away from him. and get in the goddamn truck.â
you groan loudly, the noise almost a scream and filling the quiet street. but you comply, getting into the passenger seat and letting rafe drive you homeâto your house, not tannyhill like every other night. when he pulls up to your house, you resist the urge to get out without saying anything at all.
âiâll see you tomorrow, kid.â you sigh, looking back up at rafe.
âthatâs it? youâll see me tomorrow?â
âwhat else do you want me to say, huh?â
âare you just gonna ignore all of that? what the hell was that?â
âmânot ignoring anything-â
âso, i canât see jj anymore. are you still seeing her? who am i allowed to date then? kelce? top? do you have a pre-approved list for me?â
âshut up.â
ârafe,â you sound serious, as serious as heâs ever heard you, shifting in your seat to look right at him. he looks back, his knuckles white on the steering wheel at the mention of you dating kelce or top or anyone. âiâm not gonna stay single forever. i know your alpha-male tendencies donât agree with it, but girls have needs too. i want-â
âwhat? what do you want?â
âthe possibility of getting laid without you screaming at every boy i talk to would be nice.â
âdonât talk like that.â
ârafe.âÂ
exasperated, you unlock the door and climb out, not turning back to say goodnight. the last twelve hours seem like a blur, between texting jj and actually seeing him and rafeâs reaction to it. youâre not sure what kind of reaction you really wanted out of him, but youâre not happy with the one you got. you donât know what, if anything, would have pleased you.Â
that night, you go to bed angry and wake up sad. jj texted you something but you canât find the heart to look at his message yet.Â
youâre sure the boys have something planned for today, like they always do, but the idea of opening the groupchat to look at what they decided on makes you feel sick. so you stay home instead, showering off yesterdayâs anger and wondering why rafe thinks you donât deserve to have a boy in your life to fool around with, to date, to do anything with.Â
the answer, sharp and painful like the jagged end of a piece of glass, hovers in your mind. you try to push it away.
rafeâs wrongâlike always. you really donât like making him angry, like it even less that your routine is disrupted and that for the first time in a long time, you donât want to see your best friends today. brushing your hair, the sound of your bedroom door opening snaps you out of your thoughts.
âcâmon kid. get dressed. topâs got tee time at two and we booked lunch before.â you turn to look at rafe but donât budge. he takes a look at youâdressed in one of his old frat shirts and plaid shorts that barely peak out.Â
you look pretty all the time but it feels the worst, the hardest to deal with, when itâs just the two of you alone like this, none of the shit that you do for other people, for outside the houseâthe makeup, the hair, the nice clothes. when youâre pretty like this itâs just for him, since no one else gets to see you, no one but him. you probably didnât even notice you were wearing one of his shirtsâsomething that leaves him feeling more pleased than he should be. but like always, heâs not gonna tell you any of that.
âare you adding deaf to stupid?â he asks, and you roll your eyes, letting out an irritated huff.
âiâm not coming. go away.â you turn around on your vanity chair to face your mirror, continuing brushing your hair. rafe walks up behind you, staring at you in the mirror.
âcâmon. lunch is at the place you like. iâll even talk to you when kelce and top are up.â
âis that your way of apologizing?â
âitâs not an apology.â
âof course itâs not. why would you say sorry? you probably donât think you did anything wrong.â
âi didnât.â
âmm-hm. when does rafe cameron ever do anything wrong?â you keep brushing your hair, staring at yourself in the mirror instead of at him. âpsycho.â
rafe yanks the brush from your hand, spinning your chair around to face him. he boxes you in, his hands resting on the armrests. heâs too close to you, it makes his head spin. you wish heâd stop, you know heâs not going to. you watch with bated breath, wondering whatâs coming next.
âi⌠didnât mean to make you upset.â you keep staring up at rafe, blinking fast. âand i didnât see it from your side. so, mâsorry. about that part. nothinâ else.â you canât help the slow smile that grows on your faceârafe, apologizing, and to you of all people. you thought youâd never see the day.
âthanks rafe.â
âalright. get ready. truckâs still runninâ.â he pulls himself upright, freeing you of the restraint. you can hear the bass of the music in his car, the future song audible from your open window.Â
âthatâs bad for the environment. and i didnât say i forgave you.â snatching the hairbrush back, you resume your motions. you hear rafe groan and itâs hard to hold back the smile. maybe you did like making him angry.
âkid.âÂ
âwhat? i heard your apology, and i donât accept it. hope you girls have fun at golf-â rafe leans back in, holding your jaw shut between his fingers.
âdo you ever shut up?â you shake your head from your position, though you canât really move. âwhatâs it gonna take, huh? you want my permission to fuck âround? sleep with some, some fuckinâ nobody? some pogue? tough shit. youâre not gettinâ it.â he lets you go, and you rub your jaw tenderly.
âbut you get to do it?âÂ
âthatâs different-â
âno itâs not! youâre just a dick. and sexist. who am i supposed to sleep with, then?â you shoot back.
âi donât fuckinâ know, kid. me, i guess. at this point-â
âha-ha funny. youâre an-â when you finally get up and look at him, heâs staring at you. âwhat?â
âyeah. thatâs fine.â he shrugs, like heâs just decided something trivial, like what to order at lunch or which iron to use. âyou can sleep with me.â
âexcuse me?â
âyeah. yeah, itâs a good solution. that way you can stay the fuck away from maybank and any other asshole.â
ârafe. shut up.â
âthink about it,â he says, and you fall silent to listen, though this is the worst idea youâve ever heard in your life. âyou get what you want. i get what i want. it works out.â
âhow is being your pity-fuck remotely close to what i want?â
âsheesh, kid mâtryna help you right now. offerinâ you a solution-â
ârafe?â
âyeah?â
âget out.â you walk over the door, swining it open and waiting for him to step out.
âjust think âbout it,â rafe says, standing by the door but not leaving just yet. âalright?â
âgoodbye, rafe.âÂ
you listen to the soundsâhim walking down the staircase, the front door closing, his truck taking off. after youâre sure heâs gone, you let out a breath you didnât realize youâd been holding inside.
sleeping with rafe had been nothing more than a drunken thought that occasionally slipped into your mind when heâd be nice to you after some party. curling up next to him at tannyhill every other night certainly didnât help, but thatâs all it wasâa thought, not reality.Â
then you wonder if itâs really such a bad idea. maybe if you just got out all of this pent up energy with rafe, and then worked on finding someone he actually approved of, it would be easier for both of you.Â
key word: maybe.
the idea that heâs still seeing that girl, the one he keeps denying is his girlfriend, makes you want to puke. heâd have to stop that, that would be part of your agreement.Â
maybe rafeâs right, maybe you both get what you want out of this, as messed up as it seems. it canât be the worst idea in the worldâkelce and top always joke the two of you are half a couple already.
you go to your closet to pick out an outfit for golf, hoping you werenât about to ruin your friendship with your best friend.
.âď¸ ÝË
rafeâs leaning against the bar at the club when you find him. you think heâs got a weird sixth sense, he always knows when youâre around, and he looks up before youâre even near him.Â
âi knew you wouldnât pass on lunch. top owes me five bucks.â
âyeah. sure.â you put a hand on the counter to steady yourselfâthis is harder than you thought it would be. rafe takes a sip of his drink. you want to chastise him, tell him itâs only twelve-thirty and too early for drinking, but nothing comes out. your mouth feels dry and you almost want to chug the rest of his scotch. surprisingly, you refrain.
âwhat?â rafe asks, and you glance up at him, eyes locked.
âi thought about what you said this morning. what you offered.â
âand?â the bastard looks so smug. you should the slap the smirk off his face but you know what heâs thinkingâproud of coming up with the idea himself, thinking heâs doing such a service.
âand.. better the devil you know and all that.â you wait for the other shoe to drop for a moment, for rafe to admit it was all a big prank and you fell for it, and now the boys owe him money or something.
âgood. i agree. so should we get outta here, or what?â
âright now?â you question, eyes widening. âwhat about tee time?â
âyouâre the only whoâs so horny youâre on the verge of jumping pogues. mâjust tryna help you-â
âshut up!âyour face heats, looking around to make sure no one heard him. âby the way, between the two of us youâre the only one jumping pogues.â
âyeah, yeah. so not now, then?â
âa gentlemen as always, rafe. no, really, thank you, for showing me chivalryâs not dead.â you roll your eyes again, staring ahead at the bottles behind the bar. you donât want to turn and look at rafe again, but you do.
âat this rate mâgonna have to show you what friends with benefits means too.â
âshut up.â it comes out like a hiss this time, narrowed eyes focusing in on your best friend and apparently, new fuck buddy.
âyeah, yeah. theyâre at the table near the window.âÂ
âthanks.â you walk in that direction, catching a glimpse of top and kelce, but your feet pause for a moment. you stay still, but glance back at rafe.
heâs not leaning against the bar anymoreâheâs facing you, staring at you. blue eyes rake over your skin top to bottom, focusing on the pretty sandals and polished white toes, smooth lotioned skin, your short white skirt and tight golf shirt, with one too many buttons popped.Â
when youâre talking without ever shutting up, itâs hard for him to focus on anything but your glossy lips or long eyelashes fluttering when you roll your eyes. but now heâs taking it inâhow easily you agreed to this little idea, how you talk a big game but you donât seem as hesitant or upset as you were this morning.Â
you turn back and keep walking towards the tableârafe can tell youâre flushed. heâs fine with it, prefers it this way. anythingâs better than you going on dates with strangers, showing them looks and emotions and other things that belong to him.
if youâre horny, all you had to do was tell him. downing the rest of his drink, he goes back to the table and like always, sits next to you.Â
kelce and top talk about the same old shit, until they focus their attention on you. youâre being quiet, not nearly as talkative or snippy as usual, and you havenât said a word to rafe the whole time.
âand whereâd you two go off to last night?â kelce asks, pointedly looking at rafe while he asks you the question.
âyou guys know you left us stranded, right? we all came together. i mean iâm not saying self-absorbed but-â topper adds, but you cut him off.
âyouâre really not one to talk about self-absorbed, are you top?â you shoot back, and kelce chokes on his water.Â
âeasy,â rafe says, and normally youâd fire away something at him too, but this time you donât. âwe had somethinâ to take care of. but you got home didnât you?â
âyes, but-â topper says, but rafe cuts him off again. you hold back a laugh.
âthen shut up âbout it.â
âkelceâs mom had to pick us up. it was humiliating.â you snort into your lemonade, all four of you bursting into laughter. you turn to ask kelce a follow up question, and rafeâs staring at you while you laugh. something low in your stomach twists, like a butterfly trying to fly out and away.
when kelce and rafe start talking about the course today, topper leans in to say something to you.
âyouâre getting mean. yâknow that means youâre spending too much time with him.â you transfer your gaze from top to rafe, staring at the boy next to you.Â
the idea of what you would normally say floats through your headâsomething funny and earnest but still making top feel better, not saying sorry but making him laugh instead. nothing comes to mind.
âyeah. i guess i am.â
you sit through golf, reading your book in the cart while the boys play nine holes. your phone rings with a call from your parents about an hour in, and when you step away to take it, rafe follows you. the boys protest from the distanceâit must have been his turn.
âyou goinâ home?â rafe questions, and you jolt at the sound, not realizing he was right behind you.
âgod. you scared me.â he doesnât say anything, just keeps staring down at you. âyes, uh, mom wants me home for something.â
âyou need a ride?â
âno, i drove here, remember?âÂ
âoh. yeah. am i gonna see you tonight?â the words make you flushâstupidly, no matter how hard you try to fight it, knowing that they shouldnât. the two of you are going to be terrible at this. âkid?â
âcareful, rafe. youâre starting to sound like a boyfriend.â
âyeah. and we wouldnât want that, now would we?âÂ
sucking in a breath, tearing your gaze away with pretty blue eyes that are looking at you like maybe that wouldnât be the worst idea in the world, youâre at a loss for words again. before all of this drama, you could count the amount of times you had been rendered speechless by rafe with no handsâsince it had never happened. still with nothing to say, you turn around and start to walk away. foot steps follow you.
âhey, hey. mâjoking, itâs just.. a joke. how about i come over later? and weâll talk about it.â you spin on your heels to face him.
âtalk about it? talk about what?â
âour.. arrangement. yâknow talk about it..â he tilts his head stupidly and you canât decide if you want to slap him or kiss him. â..fuck about it.â
âokay! thatâs it. bye, rafe.â storming away, you almost wish you hadnât heard what he called out after you.
âbye, kid. iâll see you later.â
.âď¸ ÝË
at ten pm that night, freshly showered and somehow in another one of rafeâs shirts, you were back to where you were this morningâbrushing your hair. rafe doesnât knock on your door, just barges in.
âoh my god-â
âhello to you too.â he steps in, shutting the door behind him and taking a seat on your bed. you spin on your chair to face him.
âhow the hell do you keep getting in here?â
âwhat? your mom let me in.â
âyou didnât even text-â
âi told you at the club. you have selective memory, kid.â he looks you over again. ânice shirt.â
âoh shut up.â you turn away for a moment, setting the hairbrush down, biting your cheek. âso?â
âso?â he repeats. heâs smiling, you can just tell.
âarenât we gonna talk about our arrangement? thatâs what you told me at the club-â you finish in a mocking voice.
âwhat else is there to talk about? you wanna get laid, i donât wanna see you with random guys.â
âi still donât understand whatâs wrong with the guys that i-â rafe cuts you off, and he sounds angry.
âof course you donât understand. you donât haveât think about this shit, because i think about it for you. whatâd you gonna do when some guy starts sleepinâ with you âcause me and top pissed him off once? or one of those pogues, huh? to get back at us? take some video of you and send it to everyone? brag and show it off to everyone?â
âoh.â
âexactly. so mâlookinâ out for you. this is better, trust me.â the thing rafeâs saying are making sense. you were on board anyways, but you feel better that thereâs a real reason behind it.
âbut what about that girl-â you ask, though you donât know what kind of answer youâre expecting. rafe sighs.
âwhat about that girl?â
âare-are you gonna sleep with other people too?â
âno. mâtoo busy anyways. works out for both of us.â
âoh. okay. promise?â
âwhen have i ever lied to you?â you sigh, about to protest, when he finishes his sentence. âpromise.â you feel strangely reassured, like this is a good idea.
âokay. thanks.â you dodge his gaze, playing with your manicured nails, pink this time.
âalright. get on the bed.â
ârafe-â
âwhat? i just said-â
âyouâre not even gonna, like, take me out for dinner first?â
âwho the hell dâyou think paid for your lunch?â
âi donât know.. kelce? he got lunch last week. should i go sleep with him next?â
âha-ha. get on the bed.â
âugh. youâre so crass. i donât even know how you get any girls-â
âyeah, yeah. are you gonna shut up now or what?â
you canât think of anything to say, so you finally follow his instructions, crawling into your bed and sitting up against your pillows to look at rafe.Â
youâve see him naked before. heâs seen you naked before. with all the time you spent together on the druthers or at the beach, you should be used to seeing him like this. he yanks off his shirt, pulling it off with a fist in the back over his head.Â
the first sign that this idea wasnât going to go as planned should have been nowâfeeling your breath catch in your throat at the sight in front of you. your best friend shirtless, getting closer to your bed. your eyes rake over tan, muscled skin and the silver chain glimmering around his neck. you donât realize you moved, body sliding down and back flat against your mattress while rafe starts to lean across the bed, his hand planted next to your head.
rafeâs hovering over you. your breathing shakes for a moment, wondering if it would be this easy for him to do this with any other girl. you dismiss the thought when rafe leans in to kiss you, but it almost seems too wrong to let it happen.
âwait-â you move your head a little so your lips are away from rafeâs. âare you sure? you donât think itâs gonna be weird?â
âstop bugging out, kid.â he says it low and quiet, and your entire body quivers from the sound.
âanswer the question, asshole.â rafe laughs, his hot breath fanning across your cheek. you canât help it, you laugh too, turning to look at him. you think heâll be grinning like somethingâs funny, but your smile dies the second you lock eyes.
heâs not smiling, he looks as serious as youâve ever seen him. he licks his lips, moving his eyes over your body, his shirt and your bare legs.
âyou wearinâ anything under this?âÂ
he moves one of his hands from your knee to your thigh, stroking the soft skin. you curl your leg automatically, head lifting to watch his hands and your entire body trembling under his touchâitâs hot and electric, making your heart beat faster and the hairs on your arm stand up. he looks up from your legs to your face, watches you shake your head to answer no.Â
âgood girl.âÂ
your head falls back onto the pillow when the words leave his mouth. a chuckle leaves his mouth, but still heâs not smiling, itâs more just a noise of pleasure than anything else. rafe sits up between your legs, hands grabbing onto both of your legs and stroking again. he makes his way all the way to your hips, fingers dancing over the waistband of your panties.Â
you think heâll stop, maybe at least answer your earlier question, though you canât remember what you had even asked him. he doesnât, fingers swiftly hooking around the fabric and pulling them down your legs. you suck in another breath, angling your foot so they fall onto the bed while you keep your eyes locked on him.
âyâready?â he asks, and you nod, though youâre not sure what youâre agreeing to. his hands go back to your thighs, pushing his t-shirt up to expose more skin. you tense up, but he keeps a palm on your knee. ârelax.â
before you can anticipate anything else, he strokes your pussy, which is shamefully wet already, with two fingers, prodding the sensitive skin and gathering wetness. he does that laugh again, like he canât believe what heâs looking at, and you try to shut your trembling thighs in embarassment, but rafe holds them open.
ârafe-â but before you can finish your sentence, two thick fingers plunge inside you, âoh my godâ!âÂ
âhah. good.â when he pushes his fingers out, just to slam them back in, your eyes roll all the way back, another loud moan emitting from your mouth, sounds heâs thought about a hundred times before but still canât compare to the real thing. but of course, you donât need to know any of that. âdonât get too loud. yâfolks are downstairs, remember?â
you donât seem to remember. when he picks up the pace, really just wanting to test you and see how much you could take, you start moaning even louder, sweet breathy sounds filling the room. theyâre just for him, and normally heâd want you screaming, but he canât arouse too much suspicious, or your parents wonât ever let him back in the house. his other hand, the one holding your legs open, moves to your mouth, clamping his palm over your lips to keep your noises quiet.
you must like it, you clench around his fingers and your walls flutter when he locks eyes with you, almost hunched over you to keep you quiet while still fucking his fingersânow three, though he didnât realize when heâd added anotherâinto you.Â
rafeâs hard, and he canât remember the last time he was patient enough to wait to get his dick wet, but he likes you like this, not just shutting up for once, but eyes shut and face twisted with pleasure, whimpering into his hand, legs shaking in his grip while youâre wet around his fingers.Â
ârafe-â you mumble, the sound all muffled. âmâgonna, ohh-â he picks up the pace, shushing you while battering into your pussy, listening to the gasps and whimpers through his palm while you cum all over his hand.Â
limbs like jelly and throat dry, you lay there, catching your breath. your skinâs hot and flushed, and you stare at rafe while he stares at you.
âwhat?â you question, and it comes out quiet, soft, like youâve done something you shouldnât have. heâs thinking a couple of things, some of which have no business being in his head at all. do you always get this wet? who else has seen you like this? whoâs gonna get to hear you moan the way you just did for him some day?
ânothinâ.âÂ
âoh. okay.â you sit up against your headboard, pulling yourâhisâshirt down to cover up a little. âwell, thank you.â
âyeah. no problem.â for a second he hestiatesâbriefly concerned you want him to leave now.
âwell? come on.â youâre trying to sound like you always do, a little irritated at him, a little snarky. he can see through it this time.
âwhat?âÂ
âget the condom. youâre the one who said weâre doing it today.â rafe watches for a second, wondering if he should laugh or yell at you, when you pull off his shirt. he stares at you, not moving, wondering why he thought this would be a good idea.Â
heâs seen you naked before, changing in the same room or when you two lost all boundaries and started walking into bathrooms while the otherâs showering, but this seems different. propped against your headboard naked, with your cum on his fingers, asking him to get a condom. now that heâs seen you like this, he has a new life mission of making sure no one else ever gets to.Â
âgod, youâre such a boy.â
âshut up.âÂ
âyou shut up. you talked such a big game and now youâre just staring at my boobs-â he moves quickly, fingers on your jaw, actually shutting you up.
âlie down.â biting your lip, you comply, sliding down so rafe was on top of you. âspread your legs.â you move to do so, but rafe uses his hands on your thighs to pull them apart before you can. you canât look at his face, it almost feels too weird, so you decide to stare at his dick instead, watching him roll the condom on with a puzzled face.
âwhat?â heâs been looking at your face the whole time.
ânothing. if i had known you were this big i wouldâve asked a while ago-â rafe starts laughing, a real one this time, and you burst into giggles too.
âstop-â and he gets closer to you, lining himself up with your wet cunt, â-making me laugh. shut up.â
âyouâve said shut up like thirty times but you wonât stop talking eithe-oh!â he pushes in all at once, and all the breath leaves your lungs. you gasp instead, toes curling, feeling incredibly full, the disbelief that youâre full of rafe quickly fading away.Â
you should have known heâd be good at this, good enough to actually get you to shut up. he starts a slow pace, thrusting in and out and you look up to see your best friendâs face contorted with pleasure, heavy breaths in your ears and the scent of his cologne overwhelming everything. his chain dangles on your neck, tickling you, and you try to permanently engrain the feeling into your memory.
you attempt to stay quiet, though the slam of the headboard against the wall is a dead giveaway. rafe pushes all the way out and then all the way back in with another slam, and thereâs nothing you can do but take it, clamping your hand over your mouth now.
he manhandles your legs into place, pressing them to your chest while he continues the exhausting pace. you canât discern anything but rafeâs quiet groans and heavy breaths. youâve just cum but it doesnât take long for that hot feeling to wind up again in your stomach, toes curling and eyes getting watery. your moans are still muffled, but the way rafeâs looking at you is only making them get louder.Â
your bottom lip must be bleeding from the way your teeth have been abusing it. rafe moves your hand out of the way and leans in for a hot kiss, his tongue in your mouth and swallowing all of your noises.
with a final oh god, oh god, oh god, moaned into rafeâs mouth, you cum hard around his dick, eyes pressing shut and stray tears falling down, rafeâs lips not leaving yours.Â
you donât know whyâbut you wrap your arms around his neck, keeping the kiss going. rafe pulls away for a moment to breathe and you open your eyes, staring up at him through wet lashes, licking your swollen lips, while he looks back down at you.
he leans in for a final kiss, groaning into your mouth while he spills into the condom, still thrusting in and out of your sore pussy.Â
rafe rolls off of you, resting on your sheets beside you. you try to catch your breath.
âyou didnât last very long.âÂ
âand how long did it take ya to cum all over my fingers?â
âoh, whatever. whereâs my shirt?â
âitâs my shirt,â rafe says back, finding the discarded clothing on the ground and tossing it on your chest. you sit up, sliding his shirt back on. rafeâs standing, pulling on his shorts.
âare you leaving?â you ask, and you regret it the second it comes out, quiet and soft like you want him to stay.Â
you do want him to stay, but you donât want him to know that you do. it all feels very complicated and your thighs are aching, your throat dry.Â
âno.â he sits back down next to you, swinging an arm over your shoulder like he always does. you lean into his chest.Â
âyou kissed me,â you say quietly. youâre glad your face is pressed into his side, you donât think you could handle looking at his face right now. âand you were quiet. i didnât expect that.â
âyour parents are downstairs, remember?â
âoh. i forgot.â you realize after that you donât want him to know he fucked you so hard you forgot where you were and who was home.
âis kissing off limits?â rafe asks, and you almost choke processing the sentence. things you never thought rafe would say to you.â
âno.. it was nice.â you pause, listening to the silence of the room and the thud of rafeâs chest in your ear. youâre no expertâthough you fear youâre about to become oneâbut it seems faster than normal. âyou want ice cream? or cookies? i made some yesterday.â
âno, kid. itâs fine.â you chew your cheek nervously. you want rafe to want to stay, not just because you asked.
âyou can go.. if you need to.â you look up at him and then look back down when he meets your eyes.Â
âwhy? got nowhere else to be.â
âoh. okay.â
âturn the tv on. weâll watch your stupid movieâ
âreally?â your face lights up, grabbing the remote on your nightstand. you open up the blanket at the foot of the bed, covering both of you while you try to find youâve got mail. you go back to your position and lean against rafeâs warm body, and he presses a kiss to your forehead. itâs not unusual, heâs done it before, but you donât miss the fact that heâs decided to do it now. you try to push away the warm feeling blooming in your chest.
âdonât ever make a joke about sleeping with kelce or top again.â
.âď¸ ÝË
your tired muscles wake up to the sun pouring into your bedroom. the light shines on rafeâs still-asleep figure, but you knew it wouldnât wake him up, nothing ever does. you donât remember falling asleep, barely remember anything after rafe showing up.
and the part where you slept with your best friend.
a guilt-trip dangles on the edge, about to take over, when you push it away and focus on the text messages on your phone instead.
top: rafe canât believe u bailed on cod. u better be dead in a ditch somewhere
kelce: maybe princess finally killed him
top: stop hanging out without us
kelce: top lets just pull up next time
you laugh, and rafe stirs at the sound. you give his arm a shove.
âyou ditched playing video games for me? iâm so flattered, rafey.âÂ
âshut up.â he grumbles. âgo back to bed. sâtoo early for this shit.â
âitâs nine in the morning. and i have pilates in an hour.â
rafe turns over, and you canât deny itâs nice to have him in your bed for onceâit seems like youâre always sleeping at tannyhill.
âdidnât get enough exercise last night? you need more?â
you fake a yawn, covering your mouth.
âexercise? what exercise? i donât remember that. you mean the boring sex?â
rafe sits up, facing you. you choke back a laugh.
âyou wanna say that again?â
âuhh-â
âin fact, why donât you try and get up? ten bucks says you canât even walk to the door.â
âi canât believe the two of us even fit on this bed with your gigantic ego-â
âdonât see you walking. mâwaiting.â you toss one of your throw pillows at him.
âget out!â
âalright. iâll say good morning to your parents on my way-â
âokay! wait, stay.â
âsâwhat i thought.â
âsome way to say good morning,â you mumble, scrolling through your other messagesâa text from your other friends about a party tomorrow and a reminder for your pilates class.
âyou woke me up.âÂ
âoh whatever. i was just surprised you skipped a video game for this. but i guess most boys would.â
âthereâs not much i wouldnât skip for you.â you smile at rafe, misunderstanding him.
âthatâs so nice. are you saying iâm a great lay?â he rolls his eyes.
âiâm trying to- shut up. whatâd they say?â he picks up his phone.Â
about twenty minutes later, after checking the hallway (and that too on wobbly legs, just like the smug idiot had predicted) rafe leaves. like always, he says heâll see you later.
you fall on your bed and dwell on the fact that rafe kissed you last night. itâs hard to focus on anything else, and with every passing second, you think this whole thing was a worse and worse idea.
but he doesnât seem to think that way. he seemed fine. heâs better at the no-strings-attached thing than you, and you donât think he would have suggested it if he didnât think you could handle it.Â
with that thought lingering, you get dressed for pilates and hope itâs easier to walk before you see the boys again. you find out that itâs really not.Â
after your class, you check your phone, finding messages from top and kelce. game night and pizza at kelceâs house. youâre invited, of course, but you shoot them a message saying youâre staying home with your parents instead.Â
the second you press send, rafeâs contact photo lights up your screen.
ârafe?â you answer it without even waiting.
âwhat, not cominâ tonight? you always come.â
âoh, um-â you pace around your room, trying to think of a lie on your feet. âmom and dad wanted to stay in. you know. game night.â the words feel stupid, though you hope heâll believe it.
âokay. you gonna swing âround after?â
âno, probably not. um, iâll see you tomorrow?â
âyeah, tomorrow. have fun, kid.â
âyou too. tell them i say hi.â
the rest of your day flies by and itâs not long before youâre curling up in bed with a tub of ice cream. your parents went out to dinner with some friends, while you contemplated what the hell you were doing with your own friends.
you four always had a standing date on saturday mornings in the summerâsnacks and a spin on the boat. if you donât go, itâs going to be incredibly obvious something was going on with you.Â
you call topper while you pack your boat bagâgrabbing the necessities the boys always completely forget about; spray sunscreen, an extra baseball cap, a book for you when you inevitably get bored of listening to them talk.
âwhatâs up?â top says, and youâve made your way into the kitchen, pulling out fruit to wash and cut.
âwhat time are we going on the boat? and iâm bringing strawberries and mangoes, is that fine?â topper is the pickiest when it comes to the fruitâkelce and rafe will eat whatever you bring.
âuh, i think noon. call rafe, weâre taking the druthers today.â crap. thatâs what you were trying to avoid. it feels crazy the second you think itâtrying to avoid rafe. you need to get it together. acting like some love sick girl over your best friend feels like the stupidest thing youâve ever tried to do. he must bring it out in you. âdo you have any of those oranges? the little ones?â
âiâll bring âem. listen, i need to get ready, do you know the time? iâll just meet you there.â your self-realization is going to have to wait for another day.
ânoon, yeah. iâll text it.â
âthanks top.âÂ
you start an internal monologue on repeatâstop being weird about it. heâs still your best friend. be normal. he is not your boyfriend. you repeat it, but still pick out the prettiest bikini you own, yellow gingham and held together entirely by straps youâve tied into pretty bows. you throw on one of the boysâ button-ups thatâs ended up in your closet somehow on top.Â
walking onto the pier, you hesitate in front of the druthers. you donât hear any of the boys, and though nothingâs stopped you from getting on and making yourself comfortable, you wait for a second.
itâs like he knows. rafe steps out from the bridge, and takes one look at you, eyes flicking up and down your body and taking in the yellow fabric thatâs barely covering anything, before offering you his hand to get on.Â
âhey.â
âhey.â you look around. ânice weather.â
âyeah.â
âkelce and top running late? he told me noon.â
âthose two are always late.â heâs staring at you, and this time it becomes clear, that heâs looking at you the way a boy who has been inside of you looks at you.
âi packed mangoes. you liked them last time.â
âyeah, i did.â
âi just hope theyâre sweet.â
âyeah. they probably are. sweet.â rafe keeps looking, and you turn around to set your bag down. âlisten, kid-â
âitâs a great day. good weather.âÂ
âyou already said that.â
âoh.â
âwould you stop and look at me?â
âno, um,â you start, emptying out your bag onto one of the seats. âsorry, iâm busy.â you feel rafe grab your shoulder, turning you around. heâs not as rough as he could be, like he usually is.
âyou okay?â he asks, and you feel stupid.
âiâm fine.. are you okay?â
âyeah. but youâre actinâ weird.â
âwell yeah, rafe. we slept together. itâs weird.â
âyou were on board-â
âi was. i am,â you clarify. surprising even to yourself, you think you still are. âdoesnât make it not weird. imagine if you and kelce slept together. wouldnât it be weird?â rafeâs face twists into a mixture of disgust and concern. âokay. bad example. sorry.â
âyeah. mâjust saying, i wanna make sure youâre okay. but i donât regret it if thatâs what youâre afraid of. and nothinâ has to change.â hearing him say it makes you feel better. you repeat the words, tasting the feel of it on your tongue.
âright. nothingâs changed. youâre still rafe. iâm still me.â
âit doesnât have to happen again, if you donât want it to.â you stare up at him with crossed arms.
âwhy are you being so nice about it?â
âjeez, kid. what, you-you want me to be a dick âbout it? sounds like youâd prefer that.â
âno, just. itâs weird when youâre nice.â you look at him for a second before the two of you start laughing. âyâknow what i mean.â
âalright. iâll stop being nice.â
âthank you. now where are these two? i wanna read my book.â
âprobably still sleepinâ. played until-â rafe keeps talking, but you realize youâre only half paying attention. he takes his shirt off, and at the very sight of his chain sparkling in the sun, you realize youâre no better than the girls who chase after him. âwhat?â
âhm?â a little dazed, you look up from his abs to his face.
âyouâre starinâ.â
âoh. you think we have enough time before they show up?â
âtime for what?â rafe stares at you while you stare at him. âoh.â
turns out he thought you did have enough time. you end up with your cheek pressed against the tan sofa in the cabin, body folded with your head down and ass up. rafeâs slamming into you from behind, and though itâs only the second time with him, you think thereâs no pleasure in the world comparable.
from this angle he feels even bigger than yesterday. you feel tighter, or maybe itâs just the way your cunt is sucking him in, he thinks, thrusting in and out with his hands grabbing the fat of your ass, watching it bounce with every one of his motions. he has an urge to untie your bikini top, just so he can look at the expanse of the bare skin of your back, but he knows youâll fuss if he does. he settles for shoving the thin yellow fabric of your bottoms to the side, yanking it so hard that youâre scared itâll rip.
âbeâohâcareful,â you get out in between moans, louder than the first time and louder still than he thought youâd be. he likes it more than he should. you already came once, but he wants to see if he can get another out of you.
âshut up,â rafe groans, eyes fixated on your perky ass, the one heâs stared at in hundreds of short dresses and tiny skirts, bikinis that he shouldnât let you wear and panties he gets an eyeful of when youâre asleep in his bed. âjusâ take it-â
you keep moaning against the couch, head shoved in to muffle what you can, but itâs when you look back at him, turning your head to watch rafe slam into you with wet, lustful eyes, tired from how hard he had just made you cum, that he really canât take it, finishing hard and fast while you let out pretty mewls that are still ringing in his ear.Â
he pulls out, adjusting your bikini bottoms to cover you up, though thereâs visible wetness staining them. your inner thighs are shiny where your juices glisten. rafe has to tear his eyes away, you keep your legs clamped shut.
âyou okay?â he asks, trying to catch his breath. you donât speak, just nod. âcâmon.â rafe offers you a hand, again, and you accept, following him outside and into the sun, even though youâre so tired you could fall asleep where you were.
âthanks.â you say, wiping your neck of the sweat that has collected there. he watches you do it. âsorry, i donât have a tip or anything. how about some fruit instead? call it even?â
âshut up, kid. mânot a hooker, you fuckinâ weirdo.â
âno, of course not,â you gasp, like youâd never suggest such a thing. âthe correct term is escort, rafe. itâs all very american gigolo.â
âyou watch too many movies.â but you still hear him laugh when the two of you step onto the deck.Â
âwhatâs so funny?â you hear topâs voice, freezing up. you catch rafeâs eye, before looking away
ânothinâ, man-â rafe starts, but you start talking over him.
âjust debatinâ how long it would take you idiots to get ready. got enough gel there, top?â rafe and kelce laugh while topper narrows his eyes at you.
your days are on the boat are always funâthe boys steer while you enjoy the breeze and the sun. you pass the fruit around and read your bookâanother romance beach read, of course. this oneâs about two best friends falling in love. you canât find the will to keep reading.
you tune in a conversation about a party tonight.
âare we going?â you ask, looking expectantly at the three boys in front of you.
âyeah. why wouldnât we?â kelce says. you shift your gaze to rafe, who gestures to your thighs with his eyes. you clamp your legs shut, flushing.
âfun. what time?â
.âď¸ ÝË
finding a little hard to walk straight after your little tryst on the boat, you switch your heeled sandals for a pair of sneakers for tonight. you smooth out your pretty blue dress in the back of topâs jeep. him and kelce are in the front, you and rafe in the back, pulling up to whichever family that was off-islandâs mansion for the evening. the music was blaring, audible from even down the street, with two boys carring a keg into the house while top parked.
âare they celebrating something?â you question, staring at the crowds of people inside.
âyeah. the fact that itâs saturday night,â kelce answers, and you shove the back of his head from the backseat.Â
you hear rafe and top talking about something, though you canât make it out. yesterday you thought, dreading when the boys swung by your house to get you, that it would be awkward to sit next to rafe and act like nothing had happened. surprisingly after the conversation this morning, you find that itâs not. he leaned over to open the door for you to get in, asked you how your class was, did the things he always did.
topperâs an idiot for boosting his wheels, and youâd told him as much when he showed you guys for the first time. getting down is a nightmare, even more in your sore state (which you are attributing to the pilates and not the boy sitting next to you right now).Â
you turn to look at rafe again but heâs not there, and instead you see him in your window, opening the door and offering you a hand to get down. rafeâs probably helped you down a dozen times. this feels different, you admit to yourself, holding onto his hand to get down and keenly aware of his other hand hovering around your waist.
inside, the party is in full swing, one corner by the windows with billows of smoke and a group of boys in another corner mixing drinks.Â
the four of you end up like alwaysâdivided into half on opposite ends of a painted pong table from someoneâs old frat house. some girl topâs been talking to makes her way over, hanging off his arm before long. rafe watches you toss the white ball, your nose scrunching up in concentration. you cheer when it goes in, turning to hug kelce. youâve only had two cups but youâre getting tipsy already, he can tell.
âtop. top!â rafe shouts over the music, but heâs too busy talking to the girl to notice.
âman, heâs clearly busy,â kelce says with a laugh.
âi agree. looks like that oneâs for you, rafe.â you look at him with a giddy smile, leaning forward on the table, palms pressed flat. he wishes you wouldnâtâhe can see down the front of your dress from this angle. you cheer when rafe chugs the cup of cheap beer.
he should make the next one just to get back at you, but he doesnât want you to get too drunk. instead he misses, the ball falling right into kelceâs hands.Â
if you were sober, youâd roll your eyesâyouâd recognize that rafe missed on purpose. heâs better at this than all of you combined.
âgive me five,â rafe says to top, casting one more glance back at you and kelce before walking towards a group of people on the couches and fishing something out of his pocket.
heâs gone, at most, ten minutes, and returns to find kelce missing. his place is taken by some brunette boy, who is currently trying to show you the best way to toss the ball. heâs standing awful close, a hand on your shoulder, his gaze on your exposed skin while you stare at the red cups.
âwho the fuck is this?â rafe barks, though with the music blasting, only topper can hear him.
âi dunno, kelce ran off with that chick heâs been hooking up with-â the white ping pong ball lands in the red cup closest to rafe. he hopes he doesnât look up to see something thatâs gonna piss him off, but itâs dashed in secondsâyou hugging the stranger in glee that you made another shot.Â
he swings around the table, shooting a glare at the boy while putting himself in between the two of you. he faces the boy first.
âget lost.â the boy tries to say something, but rafe interrupts before he can get a word out. âget. lost.â you watch him scramble away, rafe turning to face you.
âcâmon. weâre done with pong.â
âbut i made the last one!â
âi said weâre done. yâlucky i donât take your ass home.â
âwe just got here. why would you take me home?â you question.
for all the big talk, all the jokes and banter and emotions youâre trying to bury, you still donât understand the simple truth known to everyone thatâs ever met you and rafeâheâs never going to be happy seeing you with any boy besides himself.
âwhatâs wrong?â you question softly, looking up at him with big, confused, drunk eyes, not snarky like he thought you might be.
âno. just.. stop talkinâ to strangers, sâall.â
âbut he was nice!â you yell over the music, picking up another cup from the table and taking a sip. you hate beer, but they took topâs jeep and not rafeâs truck, so thereâs no spiked seltzer here for you.Â
âno he wasnât.â he takes the cup from your hand, pouring half the beer out into another cup before shoving it back in your hand.
âyeah he was! donât you want that? the sooner i find a nice guy we can stop all of this, right?â you look at him earnestly, before chugging the rest of your beer.Â
âalright, youâre cut off.â
the rest of the night goes by the same as all the othersâkelce and top into a competition to see who can get more drunk, you tipsy enough to talk loudly about anything that comes to mind and rafe scaring away any guy who stares at you for too long. you stare at rafeâs back when he goes to sell, watching a pretty girl touch his arm when heâs counting the cash sheâs handed him.Â
you look away since you feel the beer coming back up, anger bubbling. you focus on topper, trying to follow along with his nonsensical conversation about his ex-girlfriend.
âdonât worry,â kelce says, and you turn your gaze on him, confused. âhe didnât even look at her.â
âwhat?â but his eyes arenât on you, glancing behind you. you turn, though you shouldnât, looking at rafe, two girls laughing at something while he opens the little white packet for them. glancing at kelce, and then at top, who is keeled over on the sofa, nursing a half-empty bottle of tequila just by himself, you walk over to where rafe is.
âwait, donât-â kelce calls out after you, but you donât listen.
ârafe, i think topâs ready to go. are you?â you interrupt his conversation with the two girls, and though you despise the fact that youâre doing this, you realize kelce was right. he wasnât even looking at them. you gesture at your two other best friends on the couch, kelce trying to yank the bottle from topâs grip.
âyeah, kid. câmon, this place is dead anyways.â you smile, though you shouldnât let rafe see it. no, your smile is for the girls. you feel an unparalled joy when rafe swings his arm around you, guiding you back to the couch.Â
you shouldnât look back, but you do. the girls look mad and you feel happy.
this is fuckedâthe very thought sobers you. you shouldnât be happy that those girls think thereâs something between you and rafe, but you are.Â
rafe manhandles topper into standing up, while kelce turns to talk to you. heâs drunk, and it comes out like a laugh. you smile, thinking heâs going to make some joke about top and tequila.
âyouâre just as toxic as he is. hah. and i thought rafe was bad-â
âwhat?â you ask, but rafe cuts you off before you can figure out what kelce means.
âkelce, itâs your job to make sure he doesnât puke in the back.â
âman, why am i always on top watch-â
in the car, you pick the music while rafe drives. you notice he keeps an eye out in the backseat, with topâs head half out the window and kelce texting on his phone.
âdid you sell a lot?â you ask. youâve never really mentioned it before, so rafe didnât expect it tonight.
kelceâs words linger in your head. if you werenât sober before he said that, you certainly are now.Â
âenough. why?â
âjust wondering. i saw you before we left, thatâs all.â you look at the road ahead, listening to the quiet tune of the bryson tiller song youâd put on.
âyou saw me?â
âwith the pretty girl throwing herself at you? hard not to see.â you regret the words as soon as they leave your mouthâyou sound bitter and angry, two things you truly are, but you donât want rafe to know already.
âwhat, you jealous, kid?â
âwhy would i be jealous? youâre not my boyfriend.â it comes out louder than you expected, trying to talk over top and kelceâs voices in the backseat.
âno, mânot.âÂ
you bite your cheek and stare out the window.Â
ânot to interrupt, or anything, but i think topâs gonna puke-â you jolt when rafe slams on the brakes.
tannyhill is fifteen minutes from where the party was, but it takes fifty minutes to get back. rafe pulled over twice to let topper puke on the side of the road, so itâs three am before the four of you get back.
you want to go homeâthe alcohol in your system and unfinished conversation with rafe have left you feeling queasy too, but itâs three in the morning. top and kelce are too drunk to drive you, and you donât want to ask rafe.
you decide that you donât want to be alone with rafe either, changing into one of the shirts youâd brought from home and stupidly looking down realizing itâs one of rafeâs. did you own a single t-shirt that wasnât from his closet? where had all of your clothes gone?
grumpy that youâre in his clothes, upset that he had pretty much admitted he wasnât your boyfriend, and riddled with the assumption that he meant he would never be your boyfriend, you collect a pillow and one of the blankets from his bed, walking out the door when you hear rafeâs voice saying your name.
âwhere the hell are you goinâ?â facing him, you stare at your feet.
âthe couch.â
âwhen have you ever slept on the couch here?â
âiâm starting something new.â
âget in bed before i drag you there.â you groan, thumping both feet on the ground before stalking into the room. rafe exhales loudly, loud enough that you hear it, before muttering something under his breath and following you inside, closing the door.
you sit on the bed, but before you can think about what youâve done, you bunch up a pillow in your hand.
âyou-â you throw the pillow at rafe, which misses him completely. âsuck!â the second thuds against his chest, before falling on the ground. you huff from your position on the bed.
rafe picks up both pillows, dropping them on the bed.
âwhat the hell was that?â
âthis whole thing was a mistake.â
âitâs been two days.â
âwell iâm an emotional fuck!â
âyeah, i can tell.â you pick up the pillow again, whacking rafeâs side with it.
âugh! you canât just-â your hands falter, dropping next to you while you look up at rafe through wet eyes. â-just say that us sleeping together is a good idea because you donât want me with any other guys. what the fuck am i supposed to do with that?âÂ
âi donât know! youâre the fuckinâ clueless one. whatâd you think that means?â
âstop! just tell me! stop making me think, iâm so drunk and everything is mental gymastics with you-â
âwell stop throwinâ my own pillows at me!â
âyou suck, rafe. all of this and you canât just tell me whether you like me or not?âÂ
in hindsight, you donât know where the question came from. maybe a small part of you that wasnât willfully ignorant suspected a long time ago that the way rafe acts towards you is more than just overprotective friendship. you had buried the thought the second it emergedârafe cameron doesnât have girlfriends, doesnât do relationships. the rafe thatâs been your best friend was your best friend for that very reason, because you werenât in love with him.
or at least you thought you werenât in love with him. and at least, he thought you werenât in love with him.
the truth, youâre beginning to realize, watching rafe grab the pillow youâre about to hit him with out of your hands and set it down, is that rafe only acts the way he does with you, and no one else. the drinks you like in the back of his car, his shirts in your closet, the bed you share and all the time you two spend alone. you thought it was a great friendship, and maybe it was. but all along thereâs been something bubbling underneath the surface, the feeling in the pit of your stomach when he started talking to that girl, how angry you get when you see him with any girl thatâs not you.Â
you thought rafeâs a dick for giving you such a hard time about any boy you try to talk to. he is a dick, but youâre the bitch that canât stand seeing him with another girl.
and as the thoughts rush through your head, rafe looks at you in his bed, in his shirt, and realizes the answer to your question is that thereâs no one in the world he likes more than you.
âyou should have told me âbout the emotional fuck part.â
âyou should have just confessed.â
ânah, not really my thing.â he sits down on the bed next to you, and you stare up at blue eyes that are looking at you, a smile on his lips. âthis whole thing was a bad idea.â
âitâs been two days,â you mock.
âyeah, well, we tried it.â
âdo you regret it?â you hold your breath for the moment of truth.
âcâmon kid. yeah, i do. âcause iâm not letting you out of my sight after this. youâre dating me or no one at all.â
âso if we break up-â
âstraight to the convent for you. donât worry, iâll send you a care package. strawberry seltzer and those porno books-â
âshut up.â
âyou shut up. and get the fuck into bed. itâs late.â
âyou donât want one last emotional fuck? on your last day as a single man?â you tease, crawling under the sheets.
âlearn how to read a clock. itâs past midnight.â
âoh. whatever, you know what i mean.â
âi guess i can be convinced-â he leans in for a kiss, and you hold your breath waiting for it, when thereâs a sharp knock on the door.
âguys. sorry to interrupt whatever the hell this is, but i think top needs to get his stomach pumped.â
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hi! i was wondering if i could request your thoughts/drabble on how the 141 would react if a mission went awful and you were left in the hospital with amnesia! like the reader wakes up and has no memory of her teamđĽ˛
if you arenât taking requests atm or this doesnât fit with your writing, i completely understand and you can ignore this! just wanted to say i binged your masterlist and absolutely love all your writings! keep up the amazing content <3
the 141 when you have amnesia
note: AAA TYSM FOR REQUESTING THIS!!!! and ty for reading my stuff, it means a lot!! i had so much fun writing this it's unbelievable, this concept is just so JUICY,,, i really hope you like it!! <3
wc: 2.8k
warnings: established relationship, angst sadness and depression wow i did not mean for this to get so sad
ao3
[part two]
price
âš he would undoubtedly blame himself for what happened to you. as your captain, it was his job to keep you safe and make sure you came home in one piece, and he'd failed you there.
âš weeks and weeks go by as he waits endlessly for you to wake up, and with every day that ends with you still unconscious, he feels his resolve slipping just a little bit more.
âš he holds himself together as well as he can, keeping his head high and projecting confidence that you'd be okay, if only to keep the team's spirit up. they still needed their captain, and he'd be damned if he failed them too.
âš behind closed doors, however, he's a mess.
âš john drinks, a lot, so much that itâs irresponsible, but the image of you, beaten and bloody and barely breathing haunts him every time he closes his eyes. he locks himself in his office, away from the others and ignores their concerned calls through the door.
âš he visits you, only when it's late and there's no one else around to hear him whisper apologies to you with a lump in his throat. he confesses to you like a sinner, all the things he wishes he'd done differently, how he'd put himself in your place in a heartbeat if it meant you'd be okay.
âš other than those nights, he does his best to stay away from the infirmary. itâs selfish, but he canât bear to see you in such a fragile state.
âš heâs in his office when you wake up.
âš the nurse finds him on his second drink of the night, and no sooner than the news leaves her mouth he's pushing past her and rushing to the infirmary. he bursts through the door, startling you and the other nurse with you.
âš "hey, sweetheart." heâs by your side in an instant, taking one of your hands in both of his as he gazes lovingly into your eyes. it feels like it's been an age since you've looked at him, the sight of your eyes alone almost has the dam behind his own breaking.
âš youâre staring back at him with a somewhat lost expression, but johnâs so relieved that youâre here, that you're back, it slips his notice.
âš he leans over to press a kiss to your forehead, like he's done hundreds of times before, but you stop him by placing your other hand on his chest. he pulls back with a concerned frown, finally noticing the unsure look you're wearing.
âš the nurse briefly explains that some memory loss is common for the amount of head trauma you sustained. he should've expected something like this, in fact it's a miracle you made it out with just memory loss.
âš "i'm sorry, can you tell me who you are?" you ask meekly, looking back at him with an apologetic look in your eye. you look guilty, like it's your fault this happened and not because of his own shortcomings.
âš john's heart sinks at your words, but he's careful not to show it. amnesia can be temporary, he knows that, he just has to jog your memory.
âš "i'm john," he smiles as warmly as he can through the panic in his chest, lifting his left hand to show you the wedding band on his finger, "your husband."
âš your jaw falls open, your eyes wide as you look between the ring, his face, and the nurse behind him, who simply nods in confirmation of the captain's words.
âš "you'reâŚ" you mutter, disbelief taking over your voice, "my husband?"
âš you take his left hand in yours, bringing it closer to your face and examining the wedding band, a tiny smile pulling at one corner of your lips.
âš "yes, love," his chest rumbles with a chuckle, grasping your left hand and showing you the matching band on your own finger, "we're married."
âš "seriously?" you ask, comparing the rings on your fingers and looking back up to him with an almost comically surprised face. john nods again, his moustache tilted with an amused smile.
âš "been together for nearly seven years."
âš "how the hell did i convince you to marry me?" you mutter. at that, he lets out a real laugh, bringing your hand up to his lips and pressing a kiss to your knuckles.
âš "think i should be the one askin' that question."
gaz
âš kyle takes it harder than anyone.
âš he visited you once, at the first opportunity when you were stable enough to not require constant observation, but the sight ruins him. you looked so weak, nothing like how you should; your cheeks were sunken and your skin has a sickly sheen to it, and there was nothing he could do to help you.
âš he couldn't stand it.
âš he becomes so easily irritated, a hair trigger just waiting to snap. the others want to help him, but he won't let them get close enough to try. any mention of your name has him shutting down, leaving faster than they can finish their sentence.
âš he barely sleeps, spending most nights curled up in your bed with his tears soaking your pillow. he surrounds himself with your clothes, things that smell like you, but your scent eventually fades and he just feels so alone without you.
âš price finds him like that one night, sitting on the floor with his back leaning against your bed after throwing up from crying so hard. he hauls kyle up by the collar of his shirt, and forces him to meet his stern eyes through the tears.
âš "pull yourself together, garrick! they need you to be strong for them, how d'you think they're gonna feel when they wake up and see you like this?"
âš after that it's like the spell is broken, and he realises just how pathetic he's been acting. in the weeks you've been out, he's only visited you â his partner â once. you'd never forgive him if you knew.
âš from that night onwards, he visits you at least once a day, filling multiple vases around your bed with beautiful flowers and making sure they never wilt.
âš he got 'get well soon' cards for you too, having each of your teammates, and even kate, sign one to decorate your room.
âš you wake up surrounded by life and colour, physical evidence of how much he loves you that puts a smile on your exhausted face, even if you don't know who left them.
âš he's off base when you wake up, picking up a fresh bouquet for your room. his phone rings as he's leaving the florists, and as soon as he hears the nurse's voice he's sprinting back to his car, throwing the flowers onto the passenger seat and racing back to base.
âš he bursts through the infirmary doors to see you standing with the help of the nurse, your legs wobbly but your face determined. he almost breaks down in the doorway.
âš when you look up and meet his eyes, he feels his heart stutter in his chest. he rushes towards you, the new bouquet slipping from his fingers, and almost knocks you off your feet with the how hard he embraces you.
âš you let out a small 'oomph' as he squeezes you, hesitantly wrapping your own arms around his torso. he sniffles into your shoulder, a few tears wetting your shirt despite his attempts to hold them back.
âš "hey, uhmâŚ" your voice reaches his ears, hoarse with disuse, "are you okay? what's your name?"
âš "what?" kyle lifts his head, pulling back to mirror your confused gaze. "babe, what're you on about?"
âš the nurse pulls him aside, leaving you sitting on the edge of your bed as she explains your amnesia to him.
âš you really didn't remember him. his heart withers in his chest, the pain of losing you all over again spreading to the ends of every limb.
âš "no, no no noâ" he mumbles, stumbling back over to where you sit and cupping your worried face so gently, like you'd break if he was too rough. "please, love, you have to remember"
âš you cover his hands with your own, a few tears falling from your eyes and rolling hot against kyle's palms. "i'm sorry, i want to remember, butâŚ"
âš "please, i love youâŚ"
soap
âš johnny spends every free moment at your bedside.
âš he talks to you, tells you stories about everything that's happened since you've been asleep; the time ghost burnt dinner and set the fire alarms off, a robin that landed on the windowsill of your shared room, anything that comes to mind.
âš sometimes he plays your favourite songs, sitting on the end of your bed softly humming along, praying that you'll hear it and come back to him.
âš most often though, he draws you. he fills page after page of his sketchbook with sketches of you; the peaceful look on your face as you lay next to him, memories from before the accident, the two of you together â though he always puts infinitely more detail into you than himself.
âš similarly to the captain, johnny stays positive about your condition, refusing to even entertain the idea of you not waking up. he's optimistic, and so good at hiding the anguish of being without you that even ghost is fooled by his facade.
âš he won't let the others worry about him. you're the one in the hospital, you're the one that deserves their sympathies, he has to stay positive for everyone so they don't worry, so you have something familiar to come back to when you wake upâ
âš in reality, he's living in denial. he's on the verge of a steep mental nosedive, and if he looks past his delusions for even a second, he's afraid he'll spiral into a pit he won't be able to claw his way back out of.
âš so he continues to live like that. he has one-sided conversations with you, going on for hours as if you're talking back to him. he brings you your favourite meal when the mess hall makes it, putting it on your bedside table so you can reach it and clearing it up the next day when he comes back.
âš when you eventually, finally wake up, he's already there with you.
âš it was late, and against the nurse's wishes he'd climbed into your hospital bed with you, an arm around your shoulder holding you close his chest while his other hand doodles away in his sketchbook.
âš you let out a small sound and shift against him, and his heart skips a beat under your ear at the realiseation that you're back.
âš any lingering tiredness immediately disappears from his mind, as he throws his sketchbook carelessly onto the side table and wastes no time in gathering you up into his arms and bringing you into a crushing hug.
âš a groggy, surprised noise leaves you, the sound of your voice lighting up johnny's face with a smile so wide it aches. he loosens his hold just enough to hold the side of your head with one hand, gazing into your eyes like you were the only person in the world.
âš "there y'are, bonnie, i missed you so much,"
âš he presses his lips to the top of your head, his eyes glassing and his heart full with how relieved he is that you're awake.
âš "...what's going on?" you mutter, your eyes darting all over his face and to the room around you with a confused furrow in your brow.
âš "lemme call the nurse," he replies with an easy, comforting smile, reaching somewhere behind him for the call button.
âš while you wait for the nurse, he helps you sit up, adjusting the pillows behind your back so you can sit comfortably, all the while rambling about everything and nothing all at once.
âš "you should've seen gaz's face, darl, it was pricelessâ"
âš "i'm sorry, i⌠i dont remember youâŚ"
âš nothing has ever shut him up quite as effectively as those words.
⚠"wh⌠what? stop messin' about, bonnie," he chuckles, desperately searching your eyes for the humour that was missing. when you only shake your head in response, the smile fades from his face and quickly morphs into concern.
âš "sergeant mactavish, how many times do i have to tell you to get off the bed!" the nurse exclaims as she enters the room. he doesn't get down though, just fixes her with the most intense look he's ever worn.
âš "why don't they remember me?"
âš the nurse explains that an injury like yours was bound to cause some lasting damage, but amnesia was more often than not temporary.
âš "i'm sorry, i wish i could remember youâŚ" you mutter, dropping your gaze to your lap as he turns back to you.
âš johnny exhales deeply, finding a great sense of comfort that you'll most likely get your memory back. he gently tilts your chin up again so he can stare deep into your eyes.
âš "don't apologise, that just means i get to woo you all over again, bonnie."
ghost
âš simon would be destroyed.
âš while you're knocked out its like he forgets how to be human. he eats, sleeps, and breathes on autopilot â like a robot with a function, no feeling, just keeping himself alive until you wake up.
âš it worries the others, price especially, but the walls around his heart are expertly crafted, and without you by his side he sees no purpose in lowering them.
âš when you do wake up, the first thing you see is him, sitting at your bedside with his hand enclosed around yours. his eyes are closed, but he's still very much awake, in fact he finds himself unable to rest anywhere but in the chair by your side.
âš the way you try to pull your hand from his brings him back to the present and alerts him to your consciousness. his eyes snap open in less than a second, already glassy with the pure relief he feels now you're back.
âš but you're looking at him differently. where there would once be soft affection, now he can only see confusion, and worst of all, panic.
âš and there's fear in how your shoulders bunch up, but simon tries his best to ignore that thought.
âš "hey, you're alright, darlin'," he coos, as gentle as he can manage, pushing the rising dread to the back of his mind.
âš he presses the button to call the nurse, letting go of your trembling hand bringing it up to your shoulder. your worried gaze flicks to his arm and back to his face, which makes him pause in his tracks.
⚠"who⌠who are you?"
âš simon's waited so long to hear your voice again, but hearing those four words from you shatters his heart into pieces.
âš no.
âš you didn't forget him. there was no way.
âš "it'sâŚ" he swallows hard, blinking rapidly to hold back the tears threatening to fall. "it's me, love, it's simon."
âš you're still looking at him with that same anxious expression, and he curses himself when he realises he's still wearing his balaclava. he practically rips it from his head, dropping it to the floor without a care for where it fell.
âš your eyes study his bare face, tracing over every crease and scar, the mess of hair on top of his head, and finally landing on his desperate eyes.
âš "i'm sorry, iâŚ" you look guilty, the subtle shake of your head hurting simon like a knife to the chest. "...do i know you?"
âš the silence that follows your words is unbearable.
âš you really did forget him.
âš all the time you'd spent together, the memories you shared, the love you had; it was all gone, just like that.
âš suddenly he felt like the walls were closing in on him, he couldn't get enough air and his skin was crawling with the need to escape.
âš at that moment, the nurse comes through the doors, startling simon into standing from the chair and stumbling backwards. he never takes his eyes off of your guilt-ridden face. you didn't know him, not anymore, and that meant he was all alone again, with no one to care for him and call home.
âš the emptiness in his chest was enough to make him want to rip the hair from his scalp.
âš the nurse says something, stealing your attention from him with words he's too overwhelmed to listen to. he takes the opportunity to back away, disappearing through the doors with a hand covering his mouth, fighting the urge to throw up.
âš it was a miracle to two of you got together in the first place â simon didn't know if he could get you to love him again.
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Sleeping Bag (Joel Miller x Reader)
Word count: 1.7K
Summary: you canât get comfortable in your sleeping bag, so joel invites you into his
Tags: age gap (mostly implied), anxiety, fluff, protective/caring!joel, comfort, cuddling, sharing a sleeping bag (instead of the one bed trope lol), kissing (forehead and lips), itâs just cute short and fun
A/N: simple and quick, inspired by ep 4 when joel and ellie were in sleeping bags in the woods, but no explicit spoilers. Iâve been wanting to write for joel since episode one and finally got an idea. pretty sure more will be coming soonâŚ
Cross-posted to ao3 ⢠tlou masterlist ⢠writing masterlist
After sleeping in a bed in the QZâs for years, suddenly trying to get comfortable in a sleeping bag on the ground was proving difficult for you.
What a spoiled thought to have, right? Well, it wasnât just that. You were out in the open woods. There could be infected anywhere. They could come for you any second. How could you close your eyes and rest peacefully knowing you were no longer behind the barrier walls?
Ellie was already asleep, you could hear her light snores. Your back was facing him, but you assumed Joel was asleep as well given his stillness. You rolled from your side to your back and sighed.
You had to sleep. You shouldâve been tired. You and Joel had taken turns driving, although since you didnât have much driving experience Joel became concerned when you began to struggle with the gear shift and mixed up the pedals (it only happened once but he couldnât let it go). Joel had grown exhausted and didnât want to stress you out by making you drive without him as backup/support, so you all stopped for the night. He was thoughtful like that; even if he was a bit grouchy sometimes.
You turned from your back to your other side, eyes landing on Joel. He was facing you, eyes closed, breathing steadily. The older man actually seemed to be at peace. He only looked like that when he was asleep. The moment he woke up, you knew heâd have that slight pout and furrow of his brows that youâd become accustomed to.
If Joel caught you staring, you wondered what heâd say. You could never pinpoint the way he viewed you. Friend? Daughter? Burden? Youâd be way more okay with the previous two as long as it wasnât the third. Although if you were being honest with yourself, you hoped it was none of the above.
Despite his age and his tough nature, you had a thing for Joel. Like, a thing. Feelings, attraction, affectionâwhatever you wanted to call it. Definitely a crush. Love? Maybe. It was a little bit confusing, but nothing in this life was simple.
Joel had taken you under his wing a while back and looked after you. He was incredibly protective and even if he wasnât the best with expressing himself, Joel cared for you. He made you feel safe. He was there for you when you had no one else.
You rolled to your other side. Then back. Simply put, tossing and turning. The thought that you were being loud donât even cross your mind untilâ
âWhat are you doing?â Joelâs voice caught your attention.
You let out a sigh, feeling bad that youâd woken the man up. You turned back to face him. âI canât sleep,â you confessed.
âI can tell,â he murmured. âDo you plan on rolling around all night?â
You frowned to yourself. âI'm sorry.â
Joel exhaled softly and even in the dark, you could see the sympathy in those deep brown eyes of his. You hadnât realized that subconsciously, youâd moved closer to him.
âItâs okay.â He had a soft spot for you, even though heâd probably deny it.
âIâll try and be⌠still, I guess.â You knew you werenât going to be able to sleep. âJust go back to sleep, Iâll be fine.â That was a lie.
âNo,â he decided after a moment. You furrowed your brows. âYou need sleep too.â
âI canât get comfortable,â you replied. You let a few seconds pass before adding, ââŚand Iâm too anxious.â
âIâm not gonna let anything happen to you,â Joel promised like if there was one thing he was sure about, it was that.
It meant a lot, it really did. But you huffed out a humorless laugh and went to a worse case scenario. âYouâre all the way over there. If an infected wanted to get me, it could. Before you could stop it.â
Joel was quiet for a few beats. You hadnât meant to insult him, but it was true. It didnât matter how safe you felt with him there. They were faster than him. Faster than anyone.
âSo then come over here,â Joel offered, voice still thick with sleep. It sounded incredibly enticing.
The image of you crawling into his sleeping bag crossed your mind faster than you could stop it. You had to do a double take. âLike⌠scoot over there?â you tried to clarify inconspicuously.
âIf youâre against sharing with me.â
So, he had meant what youâd hoped for. Your heart skipped a little beat and you swallowed.
âIâm not.â
All Joel did was hum. You unzipped your sleeping bag and left the warmth. Joel was ready and waiting when you moved over to him, enveloping you into the safety of his sleeping bag and heavy arms. You wiggled around a little bit until you got comfortable. For the first time since youâd left the QZ, it didnât take long.
âThank you,â you mumbled softly, trying to keep your breathing calm. Being so close to Joel was causing you to become less focused on sleep and more focused on the way his breath sounded so close to your ear.
âMmhhmm,â he hummed from deep in his throat with closed lips. You thought it was going to be left at that, but then you heard his gruff voice. âI know itâs been hard on you.â You opened your mouth to deny it, but he continued. âEven if youâre too stubborn to admit it beyond makinâ snarky comments.â
You took in a breath. He got you on that one, and you both knew it. âSince when do you know me this well?â
âSince always,â Joel pointed out. âYouâre easy to read.â
âFor you maybe.â
âYeah, for me,â he agreed, sounding pleased with himself. Joel was silent for a long moment, listening to the soft rustle of your body as you gazed around your surroundings. The grass, the trees, the darkness⌠âIâm sorry for being so selfish.â
The sudden apology confused you. âWhat?â
âYouâve never been outside of the QZ before, and for good reason,â Joel started. âItâs a scary world out here and I shouldnât have subjected you to it. I shouldnât have brought you along.â
His voice was full of guilt that seemed to come out of nowhere, but given all he had to say you suspected heâd been carrying it since you left.
âI wanted to come with you,â you assured him. You never second guessed that decision despite everything that had happened so far. âWhere is this coming from?â
âYouâre scared and itâs my fault.â You could hear the deep frown in his voice.
âYouâre the reason I feel safe right now,â you said without a second thought. It was true. You wanted him to know that. There was something you wanted to know too, now, and you couldnât help but ask. âDo you not want me here?â
âI do,â Joel confessed. âThatâs why Iâm selfish.â There was a pause but you didnât dare speak. âI didnât want to be away from you.â
A wave of realization crashed over you.
You wiggled around, turning until you were facing him. You offered him a soft, delicate smile that you hoped he could see despite the dark.
âIt almost sounds like you care about me. A lot,â you couldnât help but tease.
âYou know I care about you,â Joel stated, like it was the most obvious thing. Maybe heâd tried to cover it up in the past, but someone would have to be blind to not see that you meant something to Joel.
âI care about you too,â you admitted with much more ease. He knew, though.
Joel, in an uncharacteristically soft gesture, pressed a kiss to your forehead. You could hardly believe it. But it felt nice. You liked the affection. And coming from someone like Joel who never let their guard down, it was significant enough to leave you speechless.
âItâs gonna be daylight soon,â he muttered. âYou should try and get some sleep.â
âYeah, okay,â you agreed with a slight nod. âJust⌠one more thing.â It took everything you had to be brave enough to say that, and to do what you were going to do next.
There was basically no space between the two of you, but you managed to bring your hand up to Joelâs face and cup his jaw. You leaned in and pressed a soft kiss to his lips.
Joel didnât hesitate to kiss you back. He took charge, but it wasnât surprising. He had a dominating presence and was rough around the edges, you didnât think heâd be delicate with you.
Not that you minded.
His lips moved against yours, almost in a frenzy. Like he was scared youâd slip away from him. It was so needy, so passionate. You wished you wouldâve done this much, much sooner
Joel found the willpower to break away from the kiss before you. You wouldâve happily lost consciousness in order to kiss him for just a few more moments. But then youâd worry him, and you hated to see Joel worry.
But you didnât see worry when you looked into his eyes. You saw a hint of wonder. You were both staring into a new beginning as you gazed upon one another. He was panting a little, both of your soft breaths intertwining.
âYou need sleep,â he reminded you.
Of course he still couldnât drop the protector role. He wasnât wrong about that, either. You smiled to yourself, the feel of his lips still ghosting yours despite the distance. You twisted in the sleeping bag without a word, knowing that youâd never be able to sleep facing Joel. Youâd probably be too busy staring at himâŚ
So yeah, you laid with your back to his chest and closed your eyes. His arms held you tight against his firm body. Not only providing warmth, but security as well.
âGoodnight,â Joel mumbled to you, already dozing back off. You could hear the soft smile in his voice despite the tiredness. It seemed easier for him to sleep wherever, although you liked to think you were bringing him some kind of comfort as well. With the way he held you against him it wouldnât be an unrealistic thought.
âGoodnight, Joel,â you replied softly, finally able to relax your breathing. The feel of Joelâs body pressed against you, his strong arms around youâit felt like a dream. Safe and sound, away from the dangers that lie not far off. And soon enough, you were finally able to close your eyes and fall into a peaceful sleep.
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Can I request Hazbin Hotel characters reacting to an artist!reader that draws a lot but never shows anyone their work but one day accidentally left it out and their partner finds it and sees several sketches and finished drawings of them? Sorry if itâs an odd ask, Iâm an artist and I thought it would be a cute idea I donât see nearly enough, itâs okay if you canât. Thank you either way!!!
Artist Rendition
Hazbin Gang x GN!Reader
TW:A little flirty with Angelâs reaction. Other than that none!
A/N: Not an odd request at all, Friend! For Angelâs part I did write for a male Reader and Fem Reader for Vaggie! KINDA SHORT I APOLOGIZE FRIEND!
-đŚAlastorđŚ-
-đŚ Alastor was very curious to see you carry a sketchbook around all the time. He wanted to pry so badly.
-đŚ But he didnât, he simply ignored the book and only ever asked about it if you were near him. You always get flustered and hide the book even further. Oh now heâs wondering what kind of dark secrets you have in there~
-đŚ But to his surprise when he finds it open and on a page, he sees drawings of him, he carefully flips the page and sees a half down sketch of him sitting in front of the fireplace.
-đŚ Oh boy you just made his ego inflate and his undead heart soar to new heights. His tail starts wagging and thatâs the only way someone can catch how happy he is.
-đŚ Now? Heâs going to poke a little fun at you, âMy Dear, if you had to pick anyone in the hotel to be your muse who would it be?âÂ
-đŚ Silly deer man loves you and your abilities, he often tells you that your work needs to be displayed in a museum.
-đLuciferđ-
-đ Oh boy- when he finds out you can draw? Oh he gets super excited and asks if you can draw him a duck- even if itâs a little doodle! He doesnât care!
-He doesnât really ask or pry into your hobby much but he will admit he does want to see what you draw.
-When he does see that you drew him of all people he gets all flustered and heâs prideful cause his partner?? His darling little angel drew him?!?
-He will volunteer to pose for you, heâs used to sitting still for hours on end!Â
-He will even pose naked if you want him to! Just say the word and heâll drop his clothes right there.
-đ°Huskđ°-
-đ° He watched you sit at the bar and draw to your heart's content and never really commented on it.
-đ° When he does peek into your sketchbook itâs to pull behind the bar into a safe place so nothing ruins your work.
-đ°Thatâs when he notices the drawings and doodles of him and his tail curls happily. The way you captured him doing menial tasks sends his heart into overdrive.
-đ° You were too good for him, damn it. The next time you find it? It has a little sticky note on the cover of your sketchbook and it has a little drawing of you with a small message, âHad to go out with Alastor. Love you, Dollface.âÂ
-đˇď¸ Angel Dust đŠˇ-
-đˇď¸ Oh this man- he loves it! Youâre an artist and heâs also like an artist! But of a very very different genre.
-𩷠He also doesnât pry much as he understands privacy. He wants to give you that as much as he can since he doesnât get much of it.
-đˇď¸ Once he finds out you draw him? Heâs over the fucking moon cause his man? His precious boyfriend draws him!Â
-đŠˇExpect him to start flirting more and more but with art related flirts. âCome on, Sugaâ~ Draw me like one of your french girls~â im sorry. Heâs very supportive!
-đCharlieđ-
-đ oh this baby girl..sheâs been so busy lately that if she did notice it completely slipped her mind!
-đ But when she finds your sketchbook? She gets super excited cause you draw this good?? Sheâs so proud that she immediately goes to find you!
-đ She is another who fully supports you! You need anything, don't hesitate to ask!
-đ Will try to convince you to start painting for the hotel! You can say no it wonât offend her.
-đVaggieđ-
-đ Much like Husk she wonât point it out or comment on it.
-đWill find out you draw her when she sees it when cleaning up and gets all blushy cause this is how you see her?
-đ Comes clean immediately about seeing your drawings and tells you how amazing they are.
-đ Shyly asks if she can pose for you next time, how could you say no to her?
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Mean! Perv! Billy Hargrove x innocent! Pastor daughter! Reader
âĄmasterlistâĄ
MINORS DNI
Contains: Dub con, somnophilia near the end
ŕźş*:ďžď˝Ľâ§ď˝Ľ:*:ďžď˝ĽâĄ readmore âĄď˝Ľďž:*:シâ§ď˝Ľďž:*ŕźť
⥠He would see you around town with your short dresses and the rosary hanging around your neck
⥠he thought you were so cute but you stayed away from him like the plague, your father told you all about billy hargrove how he was a womanizer, too consumed by lust, how he was no good.
⥠you had never actually spoken to billy, you had made eye contact a few times but you would quickly run off, that is until he was dragged to your father's church by his dad
⥠there he saw you standing near your mother at the front of the church, while your father gave a speech about something he didnt care about. He watched your doe eyes wonder around the church paying more attention to the stained glass windows
⥠he came up to you as everyone was talking, he stalked behind you noticing you were nervously playing with your fingers as if you didnt know what to do with your hands. You jumped when you felt his breathe on your neck
⥠shocked to see billy Hargrove of all people behind you, he cornered you against the wall trapping you from escaping.
"I- um cant talk right now m-my dad is probably wondering where I am I have to go-"
"Hold your horses princess, I just want to talk about our lord and saviour"
"You can talk to my dad he- um he knows a lot more than me"
⥠he somehow manages to keep you talking to him, enough to get you to ramble and prolong the conversation
"That is a lovely dress, it looks so beautiful you"
"Thanks my mom got it for me- actually she gets all my clothes, I'm not allowed to buy myself clothes without her permission- BUT I- i dont mind, I like what she picks out, makes me look nice a-and I dont like choosing things I'm very indecisive and I would probably be there all day so I'm actually happy she chooses my clothes because-"
⥠he simply stares at you while you talk not interrupting simply listening to you speak. He knows he makes you nervous, the way your eyes dart everywhere except his is laughable
⥠unfortunately the conversation is cut short by your father and his dad
"Billy hargrove, come to make a mockery out of my daughter?"
"No sir I've actually seen the light, your daughter was just telling me about you gorgeous church and how much of a loyal man you are to god. Honestly sir I have so much respect for you"
"I- well thank you- I've been doveted to our lord for as long as I remember it's nice for someone to finally acknowledge my efforts. I'm happy to help you find your way to god and banish those demons for good, your father and I were just talking about hanging out at my house perhaps you can come along, I'm sure Y/N is happy to help you with your journey"
"That would be lovely sir"
⥠who knew it sould be so easy to get access to you when he fuel your father's ego?
⥠the next week billy happily went over to your house, you were sat at the dining room table with a bible infront of you as well as some other books and sheets once again refusing to make eye contact with him as your father lead him to you.
⥠you meekly asked him a few questions about how much he knew and where he would like to start off on
"Wherever you would like doll"
⥠billy didnt pay attention to anything you were saying this time, too busy looking at the photos around your house and the decor. He only looked back at you when stumbled over your words and looked like you were on the verge of tears
"What's wrong sweetheart? You okay?"
"I- um I just dont think I'm the person you should be doing this with- i- I dont know why my dad put you up to this- I've never done this before I dont know what I'm doing"
⥠he smiled as tears rolled down your cheeks, your lips forming a pout which sent a shock down to his forming hard on. He placed his hand on your thigh causing you jolt
"That's okay, you're doing so good for me already. I already feel like a worthy man"
⥠you placed your hand on top of his, playing with his fingers as he massaged circles into your soft skin.
⥠he slid his hands further between your thighs, now feeling up your flesh and slowly making his way to the flower in between your legs
"Y-you cant do that you shouldnt be touching there- I- were not married- I'm going to go to hell if you do that-"
⥠you made no actual attempt at removing his hand, simply holding his wrist as he stared at you smirking, he glanced around to see if anyone was near.
"You're not going to hell it's not like we're doing anything against the lords rules, I'm just touching you. It cant be bad if it feels good, can it?"
⥠he grazes his lips over yours letting you smell the cigarettes and mint gum on his breathe, soon removing himself from you and turning to the table as the adults walk in
"Everything going okay In here?"
"Absolutely sir, Y/N here was just telling me about easter"
⥠your meetings soon became a scheduled event and nothing else had happened since that first meeting
⥠that was until your father had left you alone with billy, a horrible mistake on his part
⥠when he first noticed the quietness in the house he was worried he got the wrong date that is until you meekly walked out of the shadows and lead him to your usual spot at the dining table
"Where's your parents?"
"Hes out with your dad I- i think they're fishing.."
"What about your mom?"
"Shes at her book club..."
⥠the giddiness in billy was comparable to a child on Christmas. over the weeks he had gained your trust, convincing you that he was serious about god
⥠so when he suggesting going to your room instead you agreed (although hesitantly)
⥠walking into your room he immediately noticed the cross hanging above your canopy bed which was pushed against the wall. The curtains around it almost highlighted your sleeping area.
⥠he quickly noticed how embarrassed you were, perhaps it was the stuffed toys, or the light colours, or the photos on the walls?
⥠you ushered him on the bed quickly preferring him to not stare at the immature state of your bedroom, although you would prefer posters of your favourite singers, pictures of your friends you were unable to at wishes of your father
⥠much like your first meeting billy let's you ramble, his eyes focused on your lips, he isnt sure what you're talking about especially when you bite your lip when reading out your notes
"Have you ever kissed someone before?"
⥠the question makes you choke on your breathe, whipping your head to face him. spluttering out a sentence
"What?! Why would you ask me that?! I- cant kiss anyone- I- I'll be in so much trouble- I'm not allowed to kiss anyone-"
"Would you like to?"
⥠that quickly shut you up as you looked up at him, he tilts his head at you and moves closer to you, his breath making goosebumps rise on your skin
⥠he kisses your unresponsive lips, too shocked at what is happening to kiss back (not that you knew how)
⥠when he pulled back you were staring at him, eyes wide and mouth slightly agape. He grabbed your stuff and set it on your vanity, his hand traveled to your side and pushed you on your back
⥠he towered over you, your breath hitching in your throat, his arms either side of your head. He leaned down and pressed his lips against yours, it took a while for you to relax and try to follow his movements but you eventually got the hang of it.
⥠just as the man himself things got rough quickly, his hand in your hair and his tongue entering your mouth. You melted against him wrapping your arms around Billys shoulders
⥠when you broke apart for air your lips were puffy and swollen, billy was looking no better his hair was disheveled and his eyes were half lidded.
⥠he kissed the side of you face travelling to your jaw then towards your neck, where you gripped his shirt as he licked a stripe over your neck.
âĄHis hands wondered down to your chest, pulling your sundress down to reveal your bra to him
"Wait! Wait wait I- billy i cant- we shouldnt be doing this we should stop"
"Sh sh shhh just take what I give you"
⥠his hands continued their exploring, flipping your bra to reveal your soft nipples, leaning down his breath soon hardened them making you whimper
⥠he kissed your right nipple while rolling the left in his hand, the hand unattended drifted down your thighs and under your dress
"Billy stop- we cant do this i- I- I'm gonna get into s'much trouble"
"It cant be wrong if it feels good baby"
⥠he continues kissing and fondling your breasts, his hand slipping to your underwear pressing a thumb against your clothed clit making you jolt your hips with a loud whine.
⥠he chuckled against your chest moving his face to meet yours
"That feel good? Want me to do it again?"
"I dont know- I dont know! Feels weird.."
⥠he kissed your mouth and let's his other hand wander to your thighs. he pulls back to get a full view of you, your thighs spread, your lips puffy, your tits out. A sight that would make the devil groan, which is what he did.
⥠he plays with your thighs and your clothed cunt, soon sliding the piece of fabric to the side to get a better view of your forbidden fruit. He watches as your fluids leak from you, clamping around nothing and clit twitching from the harsh temperature of the room
⥠he places his thumb over your clit watching you jerk against him, clearly not used to stimulation, he circles around it then leans down pressing a kiss against it (maybe a quick suck too)
⥠the action makes you cry
"Billy 'is dirty"
⥠he slides with finger in you, the heat and tightness of your body almost making him cum in his pants. You're mewling underneath him and he gives you feelings you've never experienced
⥠his fingers work you open aiming to make sure you're able to fit his cock. When he pulls pants down to his thighs and grips his cock, your eyes are wide and full of second thoughts. Being the gentlemen he is he grabs your hand and makes you feel it
"S'hot, 'n it feels weird"
"Supposed to be hot gonna make you all warm"
"S'not gonna fit, your fingers felt too much, cant take this.."
"Cant take my cock?"
"Dont say that! That's dirty!"
⥠he drags his cock head over your clit, the heat of it shutting you up.
"I'll make it fit baby"
⥠he pulls your thighs apart and wraps his arm around your head, his body encapsulates yours as he pressed his cock inside of you. The stretch hurts and leaves you grabbing as much as billy as you can, he whispers praises to the side of your neck as he desperately tries to hold back.
⥠after an intense 5 minutes of him rubbing your clit and getting you to relax he starts thrusting, soft and slow but soon picking up as you unconsciously buck you hips into his. Your bed shook and you cried into his neck as he defiled you for any other man
"That feel good?"
"Ah- Feels big! 'Feel so full ngh- too full!"
"Yeah? Ya think your god would like this?"
"Gon' be In so much trouble billy"
"Ngh fuck- I'll be your god baby, I'll never get mad at you- fucking take it for me- you'll be my most devoted follower, c'mon say I'm your god, say it, say it for me baby 'n I'll make you feel so good c'mon say it"
"My god- y- your my god"
"Good girl, fuck-"
⥠as you reached orgasm you tried to push him off telling him that you were gonna pee, luckily for him you werent strong especially when you were getting your beliefs banged out.
⥠you came with a wail wrapping your legs around his waist, trapping him inside you, his hips stuttering as he came inside you.
⥠thus a sneaky beautiful relationship began
⥠hed take you for dates at his favourite cafe ordering milkshakes then stealing the cherry placed on top of yours then making jokes about once again "stealing your cherry"
⥠he steals your underwear especially when hes been teasing you all day, he likes the juices you leave behind, likes sucking on them, cumming on them, keeping them for himself and returning them soiled
⥠let's you come to the pool after hours just so he can fuck you in the water
⥠definitely buys you thin white bikinis just so he can see what's underneath when they get wet
⥠has grabbed a lollipop from your lips and pretended to fuck your mouth with it, you're none the wiser and assume he wants you to get the most flavour out it
⥠touches you in church and whispers how gross you are
"You're disgusting, really letting me touch you in the house of god?"
⥠flips up your skirt all the time, he blames the wind even if theres no breeze.
⥠he had dinner with your parents and had his fingers knuckle deep inside you the entire time, liking your juices if his fingers when dessert came out
⥠comes in through you window just so he can see you without prying eyes, he either wakes you up like a normal person or he wake you up by eating you out/ fingering you
⥠has had phone sex with you multiple times, he treats it like a confession booth and hes mostly degrading you the entire time
"You're fucking disgusting thinking about my cock, you're supposed to be a child of god" - says the man with your panties wrapped around his cock
⥠has gotten you drunk before and made you grind on his foot while you suck along his cock
⥠chokes you with your rosary when hes fucking you from behind, pulls on it like a leash
⥠taught you how to masturbate by sitting you infront of a mirror and touching you, you never fully learnt because billy has no self control
⥠bites you in places that arent visible to your parents, says you've been bitten by the devil
⥠spits in your mouth all the time
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â BABY MAKIN'! â
ËËËę° đ ęą VARIOUS GENSHIN MEN X FEM! READER
ËËËę° đ ęą CHARACTERS INCLUDED! Al-haitham, Zhongli, Diluc, Xiao, Childe
ËËËę° đ ęą CONTENT WARNINGS! Breeding, explicit smut, hair pulling, marking, choking, petnames, mirror sex, feral men, belly bulge, overstimulation etc
MINORS DO NOT INTERACT!!
AL-HAITHAM
You jolted when Al-haitham thrusted up into you again, making you lean your head limp on his shoulder as you stared at your reflection in the mirror. He had you in a full- nelson in front of a huge mirror, making you watch while he abused your puffy little cunt. His strong arms were hooked under your knees, pushing your legs back almost to your bouncing breasts as he plunged thick girth as deep as it could go. He knew it wasn't the best position for trying and making a baby but he didn't mind too much, not when you look so fucking delicious taking his cock like this. "Rub yourself for me, play with that pretty clit," Al-haitham grunted, now biting your earlobe. Your eyes rolled to the back of your skull as you complied to his demand, the knot in your stomach too close to snapping in half. You squealed when Al-haitham thrusted into you faster, close to reaching his peak as he ordered you to rub yourself faster, harder. Your jaw slacked open when you finally reached your breaking point, gushing all over Al-haithams cock. He moaned out from the tightness, releasing his thick load into you, filling you with his warmth. You both panted while trying to catch your breath, until he smirked and spoke into your ear--
"Ready for round two?"
ZHONGLI
You didn't know too much about Dragon heats or ruts but that's okay, you didn't have to. Not when you were too busy getting your guts re-arranged by Zhongli. Your legs were hiked over his shoulders as he rutted into the heat of your wet cunt, making an obscene noise every time he slammed his hips against yours. But even while absolutely destroying your cunt, he held your hand gently, intertwining his fingers with your much delicate and smaller ones as he panted out words of encouragement and praise that had you creaming around his cock even more. He could see a bulge appearing in your stomach every time he thrusted into your welcoming cunt, making him groan with a need to breed, breed and breed. "Gonna make you a mommy, dear. Would you l-like- fuck- that? Yeah?" You gasped and threw your head back when he palmed the bulge in your tummy, god he was so big. He leaned in close to your ear, a low growl forming in his throat as his grip on you tightened-
"Can't wait to fill you up and make you my little wife. You're going to carry my children like the good little wife you are, aren't you?"
DILUC
You were taking care of Klee for the day, as everyone else was busy with their own work and you just happened to be free! Klee also loved you a lot, you were just amazing to play with, bless that child. But what you didn't notice is Diluc's burning gaze on you as you interacted with the sweet little girl. You'd make a wonderful mother, really.
That's why you were pushed into a mating-press that night, the candlelight illuminating your soft figure against Diluc's big and built one. He pinned your legs against your chest, making it hard to breathe and revealing your sopping cunt to him, he could see everything. You whined when he slid his hardened cock over your folds, coating himself with your sweet essence. He pulled back slightly and lined his blunt head with your clenching and unclenching entrance, pushing only the head in and tipping his head back with a low groan. He waited a few moments then buried himself to the hilt, making you gasp and clench his cock so fucking deliciously, he could almost taste his orgasm coming already. But he had to wait, he needed you to cum first. He reached a hand down to play with your swollen clit while pounding into you-
"Cum for me, baby, won't you? 'need you to cum right fucking now, 'gonna cream on this cock so nicely, yeah?"
XIAO
You gripped the sheets tighter when Xiao thrusted into you roughly, his hips smacking against your ass. A hand splayed across your lower back, arching it even further as you babbled nonsense about how it was too much- or he was gonna break you. It was clear he couldn't hear you, not when your pussy was gripping his cock so fucking nicely. He had to claim you as his. He had to mold your little cunt to the shape of his cock. What better way to mark you than stuff you with his cum? He groaned at the thought of you walking around with a swollen belly, carrying his children. You vaguely remember Zhongli warning you about Xiao's ruts. You shouldn't have underestimated how fucking needy he could get. He was too out of it to hear your muffled cries and begs for him to slow down. He needed to breed you. Eventually your knees gave out and you fell on the mattress, body still bouncing upwards from the yaksha's brutal thrusts.
"Fuck fuck fuck fuck- you're mine. All fucking mine. You got that? I'm gonna stuff you full, ju- agh!- just you fucking wait."
CHILDE
You squealed when Childe shoved his cock back into your sopping, overstimulated hole. He hooked his hands under your knees and pushed them all the way back, putting all of his bodyweight on your poor, writhing form as your eyes rolled back. You had just come down from an orgasm when Childe started again. He was determined to make you a mommy, fill you up so much that it overflows. Your stomach had a small bulge from the sheer amount of cum this man had fucked into you. But alas, he still wasn't satisfied. He had been fucking you for so long that a white ring had formed on his cock, your cunt milking him for all his worth. His lips formed a crazed grin as he loomed over your almost passed-out form.
"Don't tell me you're already tired, pretty girl. We still have a long way to go."
AYATO
When you brought up the subject of having a child to Ayato, he was over the moon. You knew you both would be great parents. He had taken you out that day. He took a day off of work to take you around Inazuma and have a great time. But once you got home, let's just say things...escalated.
"Can't- can't take more, please- Ayato!" You sobbed out, fat tears rolling down your swollen cheeks as Ayato only tsked, slapping your ass harshly as he continued thrusting into your abused and battered cunt. You buried your face into the pillow, tears staining the pillowcase. Ayato smirked and pulled your head back by your hair while delivering a particularly hard thrust, shushing your cries of pain and pleasure as he smoothed a gloved hand down your arched back then- slap! His hand collided with the soft flesh of your ass, the stinging pain ripping another orgasm out of you while you shook violently in your husband's hold. Your cunt creamed all over his cock, making him grunt and thrust into you harder, chasing his own release.
"Fuck, you look so pretty like this, darl'. Gonna give you so much of my cum that you'll feel empty without it. Would you like that, slut?"
Šsachiyohâ do not copy, plagiarize and repost my works to any platform, reblogs are very appreciatedâĄ
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wrong time | jjk
⤡ part of the timing seriesÂ
⤠pairing: jungkook x female reader
⤠genre: parent au, exes to lovers, ceo au, angst, fluff, and smut
⤠rating: 18+
⤠warnings: dilf!jungkook, tattooed!jungkook, swearing, mention of breakup, mention of jk being a fuckboy, broken hearts, nervousness, communication issues, mention of going through a dark period, oc wasnât really nice, mention of sickness, mention of the hard side of parenthood, jk and oc are workalcoholics, the closure conversation, mention of sex, mention of death, mention of grief, mention of cheating,  sexual tension, dom!jungkook, big cock!jungkook, nipple play, pet names, penetrative sex, protected sex, rough sex, and creampie
⤠words: 13,986
⤠summary: meeting ten years later the girl he deeply fell in love with is something Jungkook never thought would happen. But here you are, standing before his eyes with a bright smile on your face as you walk through the massive lobby of his company. At that exact moment, he realizes that the two of you fell in love at the wrong time but is now the right time? Â
⤠authorâs note: wrong time is finally all yours! i actually canât believe itâs finally posted after almost a year of work! but it also makes me incredibly happy to release it. the past year has been a crazy year and this fic is a reflection of all that. most of the things mentioned in the fic are things that i experienced so this makes wrong time even more special to my heart đ i really want to thank my nikki @xpeachesncreamâ for her support, i know i couldnât have done it without her! đ enjoy the fic & let me know what you thought of it!đÂ
MASTERLIST
A bright smile spreads across Jungkookâs face as he stares down at his five years old daughter, Arya. In the past ten years, he has made quite a lot of mistakes but Arya will forever remain his best mistake.
âHave a wonderful day, my little queenie,â he says while kneeling down at his daughterâs level.
His smile grows wider when his eyes linger a little longer on the small human being that he adores with his entire soul. She looks extremely tiny in her navy blue dress and with her massive backpack. Arya doesnât get to choose what she wears when she goes to school, she has her uniform. So outside school, her father lets her pick whatever she wants to dress.
âYou too, dadda,â she says before throwing her minuscule body into Jungkookâs arms.
Having his daughter in his arms is what truly brings warmth and happiness to his broken soul. For this, heâd sell his soul to the devil, and for her, heâd fight every battle. Well, honestly speaking, he has been battling his own demons since the moment he found out heâd become a father. He never wanted her daughter to have an absent or mentally sick father. He wanted to be present for her from the beginning.
âTonight mommy will pick you up, and youâll stay with her for the week, okay?â
Jungkook is the CEO of Jeon Industries, the company he built from ashes seven years ago. Due to his extremely busy schedule, he only gets to spend the weekends with his daughter. Every monday morning, he drops her at school before passing by her motherâs house to drop her things off, and then, he goes to work.
âYes, dadda, I know,â she says with a nod.
The only thing he deeply regrets is offering this family dynamic to his daughter. She always lives in between two houses, and only spends the weekdays with her mother and the weekends with her father. He wished to give her the same family he grew up in, but despite that, he knows that his little baby is very happy which is the most important for him.
âIf anything happens, you ask mommy to call me, okay princess?â
The little girl nods once more before newly squeezing her father in her arms.
âDonât worry, Iâll be with mama,â she simply replies. Â
Eunji, Aryaâs mother has become a great friend of Jungkook, and he knows that sheâll take good care of his tiny princess. But heâs always scared something might happen to her. A life without her is something he doesnât want to imagine. A little over six years ago, he wouldnât even be able to imagine himself becoming a father but today, it is the other way around. This little girl has brought so much light into his life. A light he never thought heâd find.
âBye, dadda,â she says before pressing a gentle kiss on his cheek.
A small smile appears on his face while he turns around and stands up to look at his little girl walking to the schoolâs entrance. His eyes donât leave her tiny figure until she reaches her school and disappears from his field of vision. At that moment, he feels a little twinge in his heart. Heâll deeply miss Arya for the next few days, but thatâs the way it is.
The only way to spend every single day with her is to get into a relationship with her mother, but ever since he met her, he has never loved her. Thereâs only one woman he ever loved. Itâs the one that got away. You. Even after those past ten years, heâs still not over you. And to be honest, he doesnât think heâll ever get over you. The void you left inside his heart is tremendous and nobody, except you, will ever be able to fill it. Â
After a couple of minutes of standing in front of his daughterâs school, he walks to his car with his hands in his suit pantsâ pockets. With his head down, he tries to wipe away the fact that he already misses his daughter and that he still misses you after all this time. Some years ago, he believed that by now he would have had his life together but heâs still as lost as he was after the breakup.
Things are for sure different because he has Arya and heâs used to living with this sadness. He has also become the CEO of one of the biggest companies in the country. He has also stopped being a fuckboy, he tries to find someone thatâll want to spend the rest of their life with him but itâs not easy when he compares all the girls to his old lover. None of them actually stand a chance.
His phone rings, causing him to remove it from his pocket. The name of his assistant is appearing on the screen, and without thinking, he picks up the call. Itâs always important when Davy calls him.
âHey Davy,â he says as he answers the call.
âHello, Mr. Jeon,â the man on the other side of the call says, âMr. Kim is here and wants to speak with you urgently.â
A deep sight leaves his lips. Kim Taehyung is his best scientist. Without this man, Jeon Industries wouldnât have grown as much as it has over the past three years. So if he wants to speak with him urgently, it must be extremely important.
âIâm on my way,â he simply answers.
Today, he was planning on taking the morning off to rest a bit. The past few months have been extremely crazy with the expansion of Jeon Industries but when youâre a CEO, you actually never get to rest. Thereâs always something.
The call directly ends and Jungkook doesnât waste one more minute before rushing to his car to get to his company as soon as possible. A million ideas run through his mind as he drives to his office. There are a lot of possible urgent matters to discuss.
However, he doesnât want to start imagining the worst-case scenario so he turns the music up. Music is his getaway, the way he found to escape how empty he feels every day, the way he found to cheer himself up to find the courage to hide from everyone how broken he truly is. Usually, being with Arya also helps him to feel better.
Work is also his escapism but lately, heâs been trying to live more and work less. Heâs been also considering trying to find a new arrangement with Eunji in order to spend a day with Arya during the week. Or to even completely change the arrangement. Spending more time with his little girl is his top priority, he just needs to figure out things first. Plus, changing the arrangement would completely turn Aryaâs life upside down, and he doesnât want to do that before being sure that his busy schedule can be rearranged.
In less than twenty minutes, Jungkook reaches the massive building sheltering Jeon Industries. He parks his car in the companyâs underground parking before quickly jumping out of the car and walking to the elevator. This first elevator only goes to the first floor which is the main entrance of his company. Then, heâll have to walk a bit to reach the other elevator that will bring him to his office.
Once he reaches the first floor, he crosses it, his eyes scanning the people in the room. As usual, it is crowded with workers. While looking at every face, he recognizes a familiar one. A face he wished he had forgotten. A face that has been haunting him night and day for the past ten years. A face that made his heart beat faster. Well, in fact, his heart is actually going completely crazy right now.
Jungkook halts to take a proper look at that face he never thought he would ever see again. That face is yours, the lover he lost years ago. He rubs his eyes, wanting to make sure that heâs not dreaming. Tiredness can make him imagine things, especially when it comes to you. But after rubbing his eyes, youâre still there, talking to a person next to you and smiling.
Meeting ten years later the girl he deeply fell in love with is something Jungkook never thought would happen. But here you are, standing before his eyes with a bright smile on your face as you walk through the massive lobby of his company.
His heart breaks a little because it is so unfortunate that he gets to see you here and now. Since he has to rush to his office to discuss whatever he has to with Taehyung, he wonât have the time to at least say hi to you. Something he would like to do. His eyes follow you as you disappear into the lobby with that person.
He wishes he was the reason behind your smile.
The past month has been an incredible one for you. Â
You joined Jeon Industries as a scientist which is more than an honor for you. This company is one of the biggest at the moment, and for sure, itâs a privilege to be working amongst the most talented scientists in the country. Being there for the past month has been rewarding.
But outside that, youâve been feeling extremely proud of Jungkook. He has built this entire empire from ashes and he did it so well. The company is well known in South Korea and very slowly, it is getting known worldwide. People are fighting to get a job here, youâve seen it when you were applying for your current job. This is bigger than what he ever dreamed of or at least, bigger than what he told you about.
You still remember how he used to talk about his project of creating his little company. Heâd spent hours imagining how it would be to start a business, how it would be to find the first employee, how itâd be to do experiences, and also, how it would simply feel to run a firm. His head was full of dreams that he would constantly share with you. You assume that he must feel like he has achieved everything in life.
A little smile appears on your face as you remember the old times. It isnât always all rainbows and sunshine but there wasnât any doubt that you both loved each other. Falling in love with him was absolutely wonderful. Youâd fall in love all over again just to experience that strong feeling again.
For sure, since Jungkook, you got other boyfriends and you even got engaged. However, falling for them was never as close as falling for Jungkook. It was even far from that but it doesnât change that it was still beautiful. Love is an incredible life experience, something youâd fight for every single day of your life. You even got a tattoo of the word âloveâ in japanese on your shoulder.
Right now, youâre walking to a meeting room with your team. Kim Taehyung, the director of your department, wants to have a little meeting. Probably to discuss the new project or probably to discuss the last projectâs results.
Soon enough, everyone enters the meeting room. To your surprise, Taehyung is already there, patiently waiting for the team to arrive. But what really surprises you is the person sitting next to Taehyung. Jeon Jungkook. They are both talking, a little smile on the big bossâ face.
Instantly, your heart starts hammering in your chest, ready to burst at any moment. Although you hoped never to meet him here, you knew it was in vain. This is his fucking company. This is all his, including you. There was no way youâd never see him.
As you get closer to both men, you take in the man you once loved with all your soul. To say that he hasnât changed would be a complete lie. He still looks the same but heâs a very different man. Slowly, his face turns to meet you. Unlike you, he doesnât seem surprised to see you entering the meeting room.
When your eyes meet, you feel like it becomes obvious to everyone that your heart is about to explode while Jungkookâs expression becomes more serious. It is almost as if heâs becoming cold but you canât really tell because in ten years a person can change a lot. So maybe heâs simply normal right now.
As you look at him, it feels like time has completely stopped. Your heart is beating way too strongly in your chest, your hands are getting sweaty, and you purse your lips. Right now, as youâre standing in front of Jungkook, youâre starting to regret working here. For sure, itâs very prestigious but the CEO is your damn ex. Having to face him will for sure be extremely hard.
âHey everyone,â Taehyung says with a little smile appearing on his face.
With those words, your eyes move from Jungkook to Taehyung. Your thoughts are focused again on work, not the man who owns this company.
âThanks, everyone for coming,â he pursues. Â
The director keeps on talking, explaining the last project you all worked on and its results. Your heart swells with pride when he explains the results and shows the good work of your team. As you deeply listen to your superior, you completely forget that Jungkook is even here. Work has always been your safe place. For sure, it shouldnât be but it is what has helped you to get yourself together and to overcome your devastating breakup. A breakup that you caused.
Truth be told, you never wanted to end things with Jungkook but you needed it. This relationship brought so much crap to the surface, and you were in a very dark place. To be honest, you didnât want to deal with your ex because everything was so overwhelming so you pushed him away. You never wanted to hurt him but in the end, thatâs exactly what you did. Before even ending things, you were already pushing him away, you were always finding an excuse to not spend time with him. Back then, you discovered that you were good at finding excuses.
But you did wrong.
For sure, you could have talked with him. You could have communicated what was going on with him and even today, you know that he would have helped you. He would have remained by your side until you felt better. But you didnât want that because you knew he deserved better. Well, thatâs what you have been repeating yourself for the past years. But was it really the truth? Was he really better off without you?
Honestly, thatâs something youâll never know because you chose to walk away. You chose to be the one that got away. You didnât choose to stay and fight your inner demons with him by your side. You chose to do it on your own, and eventually, you tried to replace the void he created in your heart with other guys. Only, it never worked because you were damaged, deeply damaged.
It only got better when you decided to work on yourself and make things work for yourself. For the past six years, youâve been doing tremendous work on yourself. Itâs never easy but youâve found peace within yourself. Even if youâd like to credit yourself for that bravery, it was actually your ex-fiancĂŠ who opened your eyes.
Kangdae entered your life when everything was only chaos. You never thought it would work between you two but through that chaos, he was the light at the end of the tunnel. He showed you how broken you were and that you could get some help, that there wouldnât be any shame to do so. He held your hand when you were completely shattered. Not once did he give up on you. Not once did he accept that you would break up with him.
Eventually, with time, you started healing with Kang by your side. After three years of relationship, he proposed to you but it was obvious that you had some more healing to do. Neither of you wanted to rush the marriage. So you took your time.
However, you never got married to him.
As you started healing fully, things slowly fell apart. The love between you and Kang didnât die but it changed into something different. It wasnât romantic love anymore, it was more a friendship love. So you both agreed to cancel the wedding but Kang stayed in your life. Heâs your friend now.
Heâs also the reason why youâre sitting in this meeting room at Jeon Industries. Even though you really wanted to apply, you were very insecure because you knew the chances to meet Jungkook were high. Kang encouraged you to still take the risk since it will be such an asset for you and your career to work at your exâs company.
For a brief moment, your eyes move from Taehyung to Jungkook. It feels unreal to be standing in front of him so many years later. Never have you thought youâd see him again because of the way you broke his heart. Nobody deserves to be hurt that way. Your heart aches as your eyes quickly gaze at your ex, the overwhelming pain causes you to look away.
The entire meeting goes well, both Taehyung and Jungkook are extremely proud of your teamâs achievement. Youâre also extremely proud of your hard work, it has definitely paid off. Nothing makes you happier than your superior and the big boss complimenting your effort.
Once the meeting is over, everybody stands up and gets ready to leave the room.
âMiss y/l/n, would you please stay?â The deep voice of Jungkook resonates in the small room.
You turn around to look at the man who just spoke. Your hands start shaking, your heart suddenly beats fast. You simply nod while your eyes scan the room, watching all your coworkers leave the room. Taehyung closes the door after looking at the two of you. He wonders what the CEO would want to discuss with you. To his knowledge, Jungkook wasnât aware of your existence until an hour ago.
For a solid minute, none of you says a thing. You avoid looking at him while he takes the time to admire the woman you have become. Thereâs absolutely no doubt that you have changed. Youâre a lot more frail than you were back then, and to be honest, Jungkook prefers the way you looked before. But heâs aware that things have changed and a lot of time passed.
âMr. JeonâŚâ you start saying but he cuts you off.
âJungkook, please,â he says.
Thereâs no way heâs letting you call him Mr. Jeon.
âJungkook,â you correct yourself, âhow can I help you?â
His eyes move to the massive screen hanging on the wall to his right. Now, yours are looking at him. Jungkook has changed considerably. The black tight suit heâs wearing is very different from the blue jeans and sweater he used to wear. Under that black suit jacket, heâs wearing a grey shirt. By the looks of it, he also seems to be a lot more muscular. His strong arm lifts up to run his fingers through his hair.
That is a clear sign that heâs nervous, an old habit he didnât lose. A deep sigh leaves his lips, and you canât help but smile. Even though he looks different, some of his old habits havenât changed.
âSince we werenât alone during this meeting, I just wanted to take the time to say âhiâ to you in person,â he nervously says.
Your heart gets warmer as you hear his words. This comes as a total surprise to you. You were expecting Jungkook to ignore you and even to treat you like shit but right now, heâs being extremely nice.
âThanks Jungkook,â you say, âhi to you as well,â a little smile appears on your face.
Although Jungkook was kind of a fuckboy when you met him long ago, he had the biggest heart youâd ever met. The simple fact that he wanted to say hi to you shows that his heart is still as big or maybe even bigger.
âItâs weird to have you as one of my employees but I promise that Iâll try not to make things awkward,â he adds.
âIâll try as well,â you reply.
The man in front of you finally looks at you. A smile appears on his face.
âThanks,â he says.
You simply nod, a weird smile displaying on your face. Even though you donât feel awkward, it still feels weird to be in this meeting room alone with your ex. The one whose heart you broke.
âI have to go,â he adds, âit was a pleasure to see you.â
The CEO of the company leaves the meeting room in silence. You take a moment to get yourself together before doing the same. Today was definitely an emotionally intense day but hopefully, things will only get easier from now on.
But you couldnât be more wrong.
âSo youâve seen Jk?â your best friend Lux says.
Lux has been your best friend since you were 18. She actually appeared in your life at the same time as Jungkook, she was in the front row when you were flirting and when you started dating a couple of months later. Sheâs been a very important person in your life, sheâs been there through the very dark periods. Without her support, youâre not sure you would have made it.
âItâs Jungkook,â you correct her.
Jk is too personal, thereâs no way that youâll call him that way. Plus, heâs your boss now so itâs preferable to keep things professional.
âAnd yes, Iâve seen him and I even spoke with him,â you add.
She definitely looks surprised because she never thought youâd speak again. Lux remained in contact with Jungkook following the breakup, they were friends as well and she knows how broken he has been since then. She thought that he wouldnât speak to you at all after what happened.
âWe had a meeting about the project I worked on,â you simply say.
For a moment, you consider not telling her that he said âhiâ but itâs not a good idea to lie or keep secrets to your best friend. Eventually, sheâll find out about it so itâs preferable to tell her everything right now.
âAnd afterward, he asked me to stay to simply say âhiâ,â you continue.
She actually cannot believe what sheâs hearing.
âJk said hi to you?â she surprisingly asks.
âYeah, I canât believe it as well but thatâs exactly what happened,â you reply.
The two of you keep talking about that for a little while but the conversation quickly changes to something different. Honestly, you donât really want to talk about the past and the biggest mistake you probably did. Lux got it without you having to say it, and youâre thankful she understands it. Also talking again about Jungkook would be torture for her as well. After the breakup, she was the one being there for you, she was the one picking up every single shattered piece of your heart and trying to mend it with her love.
You had the toughest conversations with her, she was the one putting you in front of what you did and she never spared you. As she was still in contact with Jungkook she knew how he was but she never said anything to you. There was no point in telling you how devastated he was. She just made sure you understood how big of a mess you made.
But even if you broke Jungkookâs heart, you knew ⤠and still know ⤠that it was the best decision to end things. You did what you thought was the best for you back then. People can call you selfish but in the end, it was better that way. God only knows what you could have done if you stayed. Probably you would have broken Jungkookâs heart even more by staying.
However, karma is a bitch. Eventually, Jungkook later broke your heart as well. The day that it happened was the day when Lux told you that he was going to become a father. That day, you wanted to reach him and try to save things. Imagining him becoming the father of that child that wasnât yours was devastating. It brought you back to all the moments when you discussed having children, what would be the name of your first girl or first boy, what they would possibly look like physically, or even their personalities. Â
Then, the second heartbreak was the day his daughter was born. Her name was Arya, the name you had chosen together for your daughter. That moment, you deeply regretted every single decision you took from the moment Jungkook came into your life.
Although Lux saw how broken you were when you found out about Arya, she found it absolutely beautiful that he chose that name for his baby girl. She was the living proof that he was still in love with you, that you were still on his mind. She believed that he was completely crazy to give that little girl the name he chose with his ex. Luckily, he wasnât dating the mother otherwise she would have all the reasons to leave him.
Lux slips a sheet of paper on the table. While taking it, you frown with confusion. It seems a bit sneaky but for sure, if sheâs doing it, itâs something important. You read whatâs written on the paper. Thereâs an address but you donât know where it is or what could be there.
âWhat is this?â you question her.
âItâs Jkâs address,â she responds. Â
Although she hasnât remained super friends with your ex, she has been at his place, and he has been part of her life. Youâre aware of it, she never hid anything from you because thereâs no point. Sheâs been in between even though she stayed more your friend than his. Sheâs deeply sorry about how things ended because things were great when you were together.
âHe already took the first step and talked to you,â she starts explaining. âNow, itâs your turn to gather your courage and have the conversation you were supposed to have years ago.â
Well, after your breakup, you avoided at all costs talking to him when he was begging to have a conversation. The famous closure conversation. But you denied him that right for the past ten years which wasnât cool of you. He didnât deserve that, you were a real bitch but you were hurt. Hurt people hurt others. You were convinced things would be a hundred times better if you wouldnât speak and see each other.
âTell him everything, explain yourself so both of you can move on and have a great professional relationship,â she adds.
Slowly your hands start shaking as you read the address in the paper youâre holding. The thought of having a real and deep conversation with him scares you but Lux is right. More than anything else, Jungkook deserves it. He deserves to know the full truth, to know what led you to hurt him the way you did.
Of course, you contemplated so many times talking to him but you never found the courage within yourself to do it. But maybe now is the time.
âIâll think about it,â you tell her.
For sure, you need some time to think about everything. You canât knock at his door tomorrow and start venting about the reasons you broke up ten years ago. Itâs not fair for him nor to yourself. You need to think and consider how to formulate every thought that has been on your mind for the past years.
You fold the paper to put it in your bag. Thereâs no doubt that for the next couple of days and probably even weeks, youâll keep staring at it thinking about the right thing to do.
âHowâs your little man doing?â you ask your best friend to completely change the topic of conversation.
Lux became the mother of John four months ago. Sheâs half-korean and half-english, and a couple of years ago, while on holiday in England, she met Henry. They started a long-distance relationship, and she considered moving to England because she was madly in love with him, but in the end, he decided to move to South Korea. They moved in together, and shortly after, she got pregnant. They decided to keep the baby and to make you the godmother. Little John has been a blessing in your life.
âI think heâs getting sick, heâs a little bit warmer today but Henry is staying with him right now so if anything happens, heâll call me,â she says.
âWhy didnât you say that earlier?â you ask with surprise. âGo home, right now, Lux, or I kick you in the ass!â you almost yell.
How can that woman be here talking with you when she believes her little boy is sick.
âItâs okay,â she says, âHenry has everything under control, heâs also his father, and I could use some time out of home with you.â Â
You frown, wondering if your best friend is doing well. Becoming a parent is something huge, but Lux has been handling things great so far, even though she never hid that itâs hard.
âIâm okay,â she adds when she notices your expression, âbut I just want to breathe a bit.â
You nod, partially understanding what she means. You donât have a kid so you canât exactly understand what sheâs feeling however you can imagine how it feels. Youâve seen how sheâs been doing since your little godson arrived. Sheâs been extremely tired although very happy. Itâs obviously very hard for her and most of the time, you donât know how to help her.
Of course, you sometimes take care of John so she can rest a bit more or spend some time with Henry. Sometimes, you surprisingly appear at her place to help her out with whatever she needs. You canât do much but you try to be there. Thatâs pretty much all you can do.
âIf you need me to help you out with JohnâŚâ
Her phone starts ringing, cutting you off. Thatâs Henry. But he doesnât come with great news. He had taken John to the hospital because his condition was getting worse.
Lux immediately stands up, waves you goodbye, and rushes to her car to join her men. Since you were on a terrace, you paid for both your orders before leaving the place.
It was good to talk to her today, especially after seeing Jungkook at work some days ago. It has been on your mind since youâve seen him. It was weird to see him and even have a little chat with him. But now, youâre even more sure that it wouldnât be a one-time thing. Youâll for sure speak with him once more which is probably going to cause more sleepless nights because all you can think about is Jungkook. Hopefully, once youâll talk, youâll be able to sleep better and move on from all this. Â
Once again, you couldnât be more wrong.
Jungkook has spent the last month not sleeping properly. His ex ⤠you ⤠has been haunting him even more than usual so heâs been a total mess. His brain is on fire, he canât even think correctly. Arya has been his escape because work couldnât be anymore. Heâs been working more from home, avoiding coming to the office as much as possible. Exceptionally, Eunji has agreed to let her daughter spend more time with Jungkook.
Today is no exception, he worked from home. He just arrived home with Arya, he picked her up. Eunji enjoyed the fact that Jungkook has been more with her daughter to take some holidays. So now and for the next week, Arya will spend all her time with her daddy. She couldnât be happier.
Arya and her father are currently eating pancakes that they prepared together. All this time with his daughter has been filling his heart. In a way, seeing you again has brought something so special to him. A lot of time with his baby. However, heâs totally aware that one day, heâll have to physically go back to work. But only when heâll sleep a bit more.
His eyes never cease to watch his little girl. Heâs very lucky to have her, she brings so much happiness into his life. For sure, he would trade anything for moments like these.
âDaddy,â Arya starts saying. âMy friends have a mommy and a daddy in the same house. Why you and mommy are not in the same house?â
He has a twinge in his heart. This is such a heartbreaking question but he knew that one day, this question would come. Probably, throughout the years, his daughter will raise questions about the fact that heâs not dating or even married to Eunji. But what concerns him, even more, is when heâll start his life with someone else. One day, heâll date someone. A person important enough that heâll introduce to his daughter. Thereâs even a possibility that heâll have children with that person. What would happen then with Arya? Would she be jealous of her siblings because they would have both their parents in a relationship while her parents donât love each other in a romantic way?
âYou know, baby,â he starts saying while thinking about the right words to use. âUsually when a mommy and a daddy live in the same house, itâs because they are in love like they are a girlfriend and a boyfriend but your mommy and I are not in love that way. I like your mommy but not in the way to be her boyfriend.â
The only person he has ever loved that way is you, but he totally lost you when you ran away like a thief. Eunji is somebody that he deeply cherishes but heâll never be in love with her.
âOh, it makes sense,â she says with a smile on her face. âBut you not want mommy to be your girlfriend?â
Now, heâs the one having a little smile on his face. Sheâs definitely trying to understand the situation at a very young age, but that doesnât mean she wants her parents to be like every other parent. Jungkookâs mom has already told him a million times that he doesnât have to be worried about all this. The normal for Arya is having her parents in 2 different houses and not being in a relationship. For the moment, sheâs just very young but she feels safe in this situation because he always made sure with Eunji that everything works well and that she feels loved all the time.
âNo, baby,â he answers.
She nods, and he knows that she understands everything. Itâs such a relief that she was just asking to understand.
âWhen mommy is back?â She asks.
âNext week and until there, youâll always be with me,â he replies.
âMommy will call us?â She questions.
Eunji has been calling every day to see her little girl. Even though sheâs enjoying her holidays with her boyfriend ⤠a boyfriend Arya isnât aware of â¤, she misses her baby every second of the day. Sheâs her mother, she carried her for nine months before bringing her to the world.
âOf course, she will,â he answers, âand if we donât get a call before you go to bed, weâll call her, okay?â
She nods before eating a bit of her Minnie Mouse-shaped pancake. She loves shaped pancakes and Jungkook always does them in the way she wants. If she wants regular pancakes, thatâs definitely a sign to get worried.
The two of them keep eating pancakes while discussing all the interesting things Arya did at school today. She always speaks with such enthusiasm about what she did, she adores going to school and learning new things. Both Jungkook and Eunji believe sheâs precocious. Sheâs extremely smart for her age but they try to not force her into anything. She does whatever she wants and they support her no matter what she decides. The most important thing is her happiness.
Once they are done eating, she goes to her little room to play with her little toys. Jungkook goes back to the desk that was set up in one of the empty rooms of his massive mansion. He turns on his computer and quickly checks the last unread emails he received. There are quite a few but thatâs totally normal.
After a couple of minutes, his bodyguard knocks at the door.
âThereâs a certain y/n at the door,â he says.
Jungkookâs heart stops and his entire body freezes. What on earth are you doing here? And how did you find out where he lives? This is honestly something he didnât expect to arrive. Heâs been avoiding being at work to not see you in person, however, heâs been checking every email you sent and heâs been also following very closely your progress at work. His mind has been even more flooded than usual by you.
âThanks, Jin,â he adds before standing up.
The CEO of Jeon Industries rearranges his shirt and takes a quick glance at the mirror. He swapped his usual costume for a white t-shirt and jeans. When heâs at home, he just likes to feel comfortable like anyone else. Thereâs no need to put expensive clothes on to simply stay at home.
As he nervously walks to the entrance door, he thinks about all the possible reasons that would explain your presence here. Nothing really comes up to his mind which makes him even more nervous. Once in front of the door, he takes a deep breath and opens it.
Youâre right there, standing in front of the door. Since he has seen you again, Jungkook has noticed that you now wear makeup. It wasnât the case before, you used to prefer the natural look and he was kind of a fan of it. He used to find you astonishingly courageous for not using any makeup when most people wouldnât dare go out without at least foundation on their face.
But as heâs watching you, he realizes once more how the two of you have changed since the last time you saw each other. A lot of time has passed since you both broke up. It even felt that it was a lifetime ago that he was part of your history.
âHi, y/n,â he says with a little smile appearing on his face.
âHello Jungkook,â you say.
None of you says anything which creates a little awkward tension.
âSorry for coming out of nowhere, I just wanted to talk with you if itâs possible,â you explain.
Jungkook simply nods before opening the door wider to let you in. After a second of hesitation, you enter the massive mansion that he owes. This man has for sure achieved all of his dreams, there are absolutely no doubts about it. The two of you walk to his cozy living room, it looks smaller than what you imagined but itâs still pretty huge for a living room.
âDo you want to drink or eat something?â he asks.
âNo, thanks,â you simply answer.
Well, you only came here to finally have that deep conversation with him. It took you one long month to decide to come but youâre finally here. You only want to go straight to the point. As you look around, you notice a lot of pictures of him with a little girl. That must be Arya, you think. Damn, you had forgotten about her. What if sheâs here? For sure, you donât want her to hear your conversation. You ignore totally how it will go. Maybe youâll start yelling or crying. You donât want her to find her father in such a state.
âIs your daughter here?â you question.
Your ex only nods.
âMaybe, I shouldnât have come,â you respond. âYour time with your daughter is precious.â
Jungkook couldnât agree more but having a conversation with you is probably something heâll only get once in his life. His daughter, heâll get to see her right after and then for the rest of his life. Right now, speaking with you seems more important than anything else. Heâs been waiting for so long to have a conversation with you and tell you what heâs been feeling.
âI was working,â he immediately tells you, âsheâs playing in her little room.â
A little smile appears on your face as you imagine the little girl in the pictures playing. She definitely looks adorable based on what you can see in the living room, and she must look even more adorable in person. You never got to see pictures of her since Lux told you that Jungkook became a father because you didnât want to see the baby of your ex.
âWe can speak,â he adds.
Well, if he says that you can speak, then you have no other choice than to do it. You nod and he invites you to take a seat on the couch. As you sit down, you feel your body slowly trembling. To say that youâre nervous is an understatement. Youâre going to have a conversation with your ex, a conversation you were supposed to have ten years ago.
But what scares you the most is that this discussion will bring up all the things that broke you years ago. Itâs true that throughout that time, you got to see a therapist and work through everything but itâs still different. Youâre going to tell your ex why you left him.
âHow did you find out where I was living?â
âLux gave me your address,â you tell him, âsheâs the one who pushed me to come talk to you.â
In the end, she was right. Jungkook took the first step and talked to you in the meeting room so now itâs your turn to make the second step. The past month, youâve been thinking about it a lot and he deserves to know everything, even if itâs ten years later.
âSo weâre lucky to have her in our lives,â he simply responds.
For sure, youâre more than lucky to have her. Sheâs your rock. However, you totally ignore what she represents to him because she doesnât really talk about the relationship she has with him. Something that you have been really thankful for.
âIndeed,â you say while nodding.
Your eyes quickly scan the man sitting in front of you. A part of his tattooed sleeve is noticeable as heâs wearing a white t-shirt. This is something completely new to you. Back when you were dating, Jungkook only had one tattoo, his first. The part of his tattooed arm that you can see looks actually very good, it definitely suits him very well. But what really captivates all your attention is how broader he has become. You can perfectly see his toned figure. Thereâs no doubt that he has been working out a lot for the past years.
âI first wanted to apologize for everything, including how I treated you before we broke up and following the breakup,â you start saying.
Jungkook nods with a very serious look on his face. âI appreciate it,â he says. He bites his lower lip, holding back what he really wants to say but then, he remembers that thereâs absolutely no point in holding back what heâs been dreaming to tell you since the breakup. âBut a simple apology ten years later canât brush away all the pain you put me through.â
At his words, your heart breaks even more. Itâs one thing to imagine and believe that you deeply hurt him but itâs totally another thing to hear him say it. But you deserve to hear that. Before you werenât strong enough to hear it but now you are. Well, itâs definitely going to hurt but youâll be able to handle it better.
âI know but you still deserve an apology for everything I did to you,â you answer. âYou didnât deserve any of this and Iâm sincerely and deeply sorry.â
This is something you truly mean. Youâre perfectly aware that you did things completely wrong so before anything else, he deserves to hear that youâre sorry.
Jungkook runs his fingers through his hair while closing for a brief moment his eyes. He never thought that heâd hear those words one day and he definitely never thought heâd need to hear them. His life moved on even though he didnât get to have your apology. Right now, it feels like heâs being violently pushed back in the past but he definitely needs this moment. He needs to understand what happened ten years ago.
Even though he loves Lux with his entire soul, he refused to put her in an awkward position and never asked her anything. Of course, heâs aware that she knows everything but it wouldnât have been nice of him to ask her anything about you. The person who needed to explain what happened was you. Nobody else but you. Â
âYou broke me, yn,â he says with a shaky voice. âYou broke me in a way nobody else did before and in a way nobody else ever did after you.â
Although you broke him, he still feels safe near you to tell you the full truth. Youâre the only person that has ever made him feel that way and he knows heâll never find this with anyone else.
Your eyes roam at his face, heâs definitely devastated. He canât fool anyone, itâs written in his eyes. That definitely destroys you even more. This conversation will for sure leave his print in you. Thereâs no way that after this your life will be the same.
âMy daughter is living proof of how much you destroyed me,â his eyes stare deep into yours. âI wanted to forget my own pain and the only way I could was to fuck any girl who would want it. I donât even remember the day Arya was made because I was completely blinded by my heartache.â
The fact that he canât remember the day his daughter was conceived made him cry a lot of times. In those moments, he deeply hates you because if you had never broken him that way, he would remember. But then he rationalizes. Without the breakup and the pain, his daughter wouldnât even exist. Â
âEven today the ache is still unbearable but I got used to it,â he finishes.
Well, itâs the same for you. Thereâs been so much pain in your life for more than ten years but with time, you got used to it. There were also people that eased it in some way but it has never left you.
âIâm so sorry for everything,â you say once again, âbut I was in so much pain back then, and I thought it was best to push you away.â
Jungkookâs heart breaks a little because he knows a bit about what happened. Well, he actually knows the thing that tormented you but he also doesnât have the full picture.
âMy sisterâs death devastated me,â you start saying.
At your words, his heart breaks a little more. Jungkook had the opportunity to meet your sister, he got to be around her and create memories with her. She was a beautiful person, she was funny, full of life and always smiling. Tragically, she lost her life in a terrible car accident with her boyfriend. He still remembers when you got the news, he was the one holding you when you fell on the floor, when your world fell apart. After that moment, you never were the same. To say that it broke you is more than an understatement. A part of you stopped shining as before following the passing of your sister.
âMy heart was violently ripped from my chest,â tears start forming in your eyes. âI didnât know who I was without her, I didnât know how to keep living without her. Going home without her being there anymore was heartbreaking, Iâd fall apart every single time.â
Remembering that very dark period is hard for the two of you. Mourning your sister has been a very long process, it took you years before you were able to speak about her without falling apart. Exceptionally, being with Jungkook makes you vulnerable and itâs making it hard to remember that time of your life.
âAlthough you were there, I wanted to do my grieving on my own because it was mine,â you tell him. âIt was overwhelming but it was my pain, not yours so I was the one who needed to learn to live with it because nobody could do that for me.â
Even if you loved him with your entire soul and knew heâd always be by your side, this was something you needed to do by yourself. Having Jungkook by your side was just distracting you, it was making you forget the pain but you werenât allowing yourself to feel which was what you needed.
âSo I started pushing you back because with you around me, I would just think about you and how you were feeling, I wasnât focusing on myself.â
Despite the fact that it hurts him that you pushed him away a few months after the tragic death of your sister, today he gets why you did it. He wanted to be there and help you when you needed it the most but heâs understanding that it was your grief and you needed to figure out on your own how to deal with it. Â
âAround that time, I donât know if you recall but I kissed a guy at a party,â you tell him.
Jungkook nods. That kiss was what really crushed your relationship. Things werenât the same after you confessed you had kissed a guy. It was a guy you had a crush on before you met Jungkook, you deeply wanted to date him but things never happened because he was in a relationship with a girl. Back when it happened, he was having a hard time with his ex. You were such at a low point in your life, you were completely drunk and he was there, being nice to you.
Instantly, you regretted what you did. Jungkook was a sweetheart with you, always there by your side even when you were pushing him away. He loved you with his entire heart and you were destroying everything. But most importantly, you were hurting the person you loved the most. Â
âI felt even worse after cheating on you,â you add.
Your ex doesnât say anything, heâd like to say over again that he never considered that kiss as cheating. He still doesnât because cheating to him goes further than a kiss. Cheating is seeing someone, talking to that person regularly, flirting with them, and having sex with them. For him, a simple kiss isnât cheating. But that wasnât your opinion. You saw that as cheating.
âI started hating myself for what I did to you, I wasnât able to look at myself in the mirror and I wasnât able to be with you, pretending like nothing happened,â a tear starts running down your face. âThat little voice in my head was telling me over and over again that I wasnât worthy of your love, that I actually never was.â
Things start to make a little more sense to Jungkook. You were at a very low point in your life, you were making a mess and you were not feeling lovable anymore.
âI had forgiven you for the kiss, I told you over again that to me, it wasnât cheating what you did,â he explains again with a visible ache in his eyes. âIt was a simple kiss and I donât consider that as cheating.â
You look away, tears running down your face. Life was tough back then and youâre ashamed of everything you did back then. Pushing Jungkook away was for sure the best decision you took back then. Thereâs no doubt you would have hurt him way more and he wouldnât deserve it.
âI never deserved your love, Jungkook,â you confess. âI knew youâd forgive me and I was not deserving of that forgiveness at that time. I was hurting you over and over again and you didnât deserve that, you were worthy of all the love in the world which I wasnât able to give you back then.â
For sure, he understands your reasons but man, he would have preferred you told him all this ten years ago. Probably, it wouldnât have avoided the breakup but maybe, things would have been completely different.
âI was so disgusted by myself,â you add.
Jungkook gets closer to you, his hand grabs your chin before slowly and carefully turning your face to look at him. Hearing how hard you were on yourself saddens him more than you can imagine. Thereâs no need in being disgusted by yourself. What you did was wrong, he did feel disrespected but he thinks that youâre being a bit too harsh on yourself.
âAt some point, I even felt like I did that to be a âgoodâ girl for my parents,â your eyes look deep into his.
It was no secret that your parents werenât supporters of your relationship. They were nice to him but they never believed he was the right one for you and they also didnât like him that much. They were always saying that he wasnât treating you right when at the very end, you were the one not treating him right. But they accepted him because you were staying with him and defending him whenever they would say something negative about him. Clearly after 2 years of relationship, they didnât have much choice than accept it. However, after your sisterâs passing, they started being less hard on him because he was there for all of you. Â
âYour parents never liked me,â a little smile appears on his face. âBut it was understandable, I was kind of a fuckboy before meeting you and I was still looking like one during our relationship.â
That is true but it wasnât right the way they treated him. You werenât asking them to actually like him but to accept him and respect him. Being with him was your choice and they had to respect that. If he wasnât the right person for you, itâd be up to you to understand it, not them.
âThat was not an excuse though,â you answer.
The man in front of you nods, his thumb caressing your chin. Itâs definitely strange for the two of you to feel his fingers touching your skin. It seems like it was a lifetime ago since you last touched each other. Â
âThis is whatâŚâ
Before you can finish your sentence, Jungkookâs eyes look to the right when you both hear little footsteps. As he looks to the right, you turn your face in the same direction. A little girl, wearing a large yellow t-shirt with matching shorts, is staring at the two of you with visible confusion. Sheâs holding in her little hands a drawing. Her father immediately stands up to reach her.
âDaddy, who is her?â she asks her father.
Jungkook gets down on his knees to be at her level. His hands gently caress her little shoulders in a way to try to comfort her.
âSheâs an old friend of mine,â he starts saying to Arya. âWe were friends a very long time ago and she visited me today.â
She nods, her little eyes looking at you. You give her a little smile. Sheâs absolutely adorable. Thereâs absolutely no doubt sheâs Jungkookâs daughter but she isnât a mini copy of him. Sheâs still a lot different than him, at least thatâs what you think.
âWould you go say âhelloâ to her?â he tells his daughter.
Once more, she nods before slowly walking to you. Seeing this little girl reminds you of how deeply you want a child of your own. However, it feels like itâs not going to happen any time soon. You still need to find a man who youâll fall in love with and whom you'd like to start a family with. But at this pace, you won't have children until you're 40.
âHello, I am Arya,â she says with a little smile. âMy daddy is Jangkoo.â
The way she pronounces her fatherâs name makes you smile and makes your heart melt. Sheâs so cute, thatâs something she definitely inherited from her father. Your ex smiles as well when he hears his little girl speaking.
âHey, Arya,â you say with a big smile. âItâs a pleasure meeting you. My name is Yn.â
Jungkook watches the two of you interact together. Thatâs for sure something he never thought heâd witness in his life. Technically, if his daughter wouldnât have come up to the living room, the chance of meeting her would be actually very low.
âIs that a drawing youâre holding in your hands?â You ask her.
She nods before showing you with pride her drawing.
âThis is dadda,â she tells you while showing you an apparent man.
âIt definitely looks a lot like him, youâre very talented Arya,â you tell her.
She instantly smiles brightly at you, she spent a lot of time drawing her father so sheâs super proud to hear that. Of course, outside the colors of his outfit and the âdaddaâ written on top of his head, itâs hard to tell that itâs him but the most important is her intention.
âDadda is at home with me and we are eating pancakes,â she explains while showing her representation of eating pancakes with her father.
This definitely melts your heart. Now, youâre a hundred percent sure that Jungkook is the best father to this little girl. She won the lottery with him, and she definitely knows it, you can tell it. She speaks with so much pride about her father, heâs her superhero.
While speaking with his little girl, you totally forget the rest. Itâs like thereâs just you and her. Even Jungkook disappeared although you were here in the first place to talk to him. But this girl is absolutely adorable and she doesnât seem shy at all.
Jungkook watches with marvell the two of you interacting together. He has never seen Arya behaving this way around anybody else. That convinces him even more that youâre the one. It canât be anybody else but you. Thereâs for sure a lot more that needs to be discussed between the two of you but as heâs watching you with his daughter, he canât keep but wondering if ten years ago, he fell in love with you at the wrong time. Would today be the right time to try again?
For the past week, you and Jungkook have been occasionally talking by messages. After meeting his daughter, you exchanged numbers before leaving his place. It was weird but youâve been happier than ever talking with him. Of course, it has been making you nervous and anxious because it has brought back a lot of the pain you felt around the time you broke up.
But youâve been trying to just go with the flow. This is hard for the two of you, youâre very aware of it. Everything is different but at the same time, still the same.
Outside the talking through messages, you havenât spoken to or seen him which you believe has been helpful. Being around him would have made you even more nervous. For sure, thereâs more to talk about since you were interrupted by his daughter but you need more time to prepare yourself for the rest of the conversation.
Today is saturday. Youâre chilling at home, watching âThe Cownâ on Netflix. Although you adore going out with friends, you also enjoy staying at home to rest, especially after a tough week at work like this past week was. Youâre drinking a cappuccino that you prepared a couple of minutes ago.
The doorbell rings which surprises you a lot. Youâre definitely not expecting anyone today. The plan is to absolutely avoid seeing people but to enjoy your own company. It's a self-care day. You put your cappuccino on the coffee table before standing up to open the door. Â Â
To your surprise, as you open the door, Jungkook appears before your eyes. Your eyes open wide as you see him, to say that itâs a surprise is an understatement. He was the last person youâd expect to see here because he doesnât know where you live. Well, at least, thatâs what you thought.
âHi,â you finally say.
A little smile appears on his face when he sees you. Heâs happy to see you, heâs been avoiding you at all costs because he was more than scared to finish the conversation you started at his place.
âHi, Yn,â he says to you.
Hearing his voice instantly appeases you. Thatâs the superpower of Jungkook. Well, thatâs one amongst others. That deep voice of his always had a comforting effect on you, but a hug in his strong arms would always be even more comforting. All your worries would disappear instantly and it would warm your heart in a way that you canât even describe.
âCome on in,â you answer as you invite him inside.
The best is that no one that works with you sees your boss in front of your place. That would cause a lot of unnecessary drama at work. Something that you want to avoid. Itâs already not easy to have your ex as your boss. Jungkook enters your little apartment, his eyes looking around him. Â
âHow did you get my address?â
This question brings you back to when you appear at his place.
âYouâre my employee, itâs easy to find all your personal data,â he simply answers.
Well, in fact, in 2 clicks, he found your address. Thatâs the perk of being the CEO of the company and having you as his employee.
âRight,â you say with a little smile. âTake a seat on the couch,â you invite him to sit down. âWould you like to drink or eat something?â you propose.
âNo, thanks,â he replies.
Jungkook sits down on your couch, and you take a place next to him but you both face each other. As you quickly look at him, you canât help but notice the way his eyes are glomming. Heâs different, something has definitely changed.
âListen,â Jungkook doesnât waste a minute. âTalking to you last week was very good and helpful.â
You nod, your heart beating a little faster in your chest and your hands getting sweatier. The nervousness is increasing like crazy, your place is getting hotter but you need to listen to what he has to say.
âTalking to you got me to understand how you were feeling and Iâm very thankful for that,â he adds.
You can sense that there is a âbutâ coming. He wouldnât come to just thank you for everything you said a week ago. There are 10 years of pain inside his heart and that canât be erased with a simple âthank youâ. Â
âBut that was a conversation we were supposed to have years ago, not now.â
Heâs totally right, this is something you should have talked about right after the breakup. This almost feels like itâs too late. Back then, you were in no state to have this conversation. It wouldnât have been constructive, it would have only been you accusing him of small things that he did throughout your relationship. That wouldnât have helped any of you and Jungkook would have ended up hating you more. More pain wasnât necessary.
âI was convinced you were the one, even during the past ten years, I was still convinced about it,â he adds. âNobody could ever make me feel half of the way you made me feel. I spent the last years looking for you in every girl I could find. Iâd sleep and date a lot of girls but itâd be heartbreaking when I realized what I was doing with those girls.â
It breaks your heart even more. You were never worthy of his love, and maybe, youâll never be. However, you still love him. You never stopped loving him and you never will because he is the love of your life. Thereâs no doubt about it. Youâre ready to wait all the time that he needs. Even if you have to wait ten years.
âI also believe that youâre the love of my life,â you shyly reply.
Jungkookâs heart starts racing crazily in his chest. This isnât something he was expecting to hear but he would be lying if he said that he isnât happy to hear those words. For the past years, he was convinced that you simply stopped loving him although he was still thinking that you were the one. Call him crazy but it was a gut feeling. You canât really ignore that kind of feeling.
The man next to you gets closer, both your hearts beating extremely fast. Something is building in the air, you both can feel it. Itâs the little tension that you were so used to feeling when you were together but that has gone missing for the past ten years. So it is extremely weird and none of you knows what to do.
As a consequence, you bite your lower lip while he runs his fingers through his hair, trying to avoid looking down at your low-necked shirt. He knows that if he does look, itâll be the end of him. But for sure, when the two of you are alone in a closed-door room, the chances that you donât end up having sex are very low. It happened all the time during your relationship and also the day after the breakup.
However, as much as he tried looking away, your natural scent is something that has always brought him to his knees. He always adored the way you smell and it hasnât changed since the last time he saw you. His eyes glare down at your chest, noticing instantly that youâre not using any bra. Your breast is almost fully displayed before his clearly hungry eyes. Your ex takes a deep breath.
While your eyes glance at his face, you notice the way his stare looks down on your body. It instantly excites you, and you can sense your panties getting wetter. No man has been able to cause an instant reaction like this, only Jungkook can. Your body always reacts to whatever he does. Without noticing it, both of you lick and bite your lips. The tension is making the two of you very very hungry, thereâs absolutely no way youâll resist any of this.
His fingers finally touch the skin of your chest, causing you to sigh with pleasure. They slowly but surely start tracing their way to your left breast, your eyes closing at the burning sensation of his fingers caressing your skin. Slowly, he pushes your low-cut shirt to the left, exposing your breast to his greedy eyes. Without any hesitation, he brings his mouth to your nipple to vigorously suck it. A whine instantly leaves your lips because damn, that feels beyond good.
As he sucks your nipple, he also nibbles it, causing you to moan a bit louder. His actions lead to the growing wetness inside your panties. This is fucking good. And itâs just the beginning. The torture this man will put you through for the upcoming minutes or hours will drive you completely insane. Heâll bring you down to your knees in seconds.
After a little while that felt like an eternity to you, he presses gentle kisses in between your breasts, slowly approaching your right nipple to give it the same treatment as the left one. Your hands find their way to his dark hair, tugging it while he abuses your right breast. Right now, youâre in complete ecstasy.
Before you can even comprehend what is happening, Jungkook is undressing you, leaving you completely naked on the couch. In no time, heâs naked as well with a condom on his hands. Your eyes inevitably look down at his cock. His massive cock. To be honest, you had forgotten how big it was but damn, you absolutely donât want to wait to feel it inside you. He quickly put the condom on before placing himself in between your legs.
Jungkook touches your intimate area to feel how wet you are.
âDamn, youâre so wet,â he whispers.
Even if youâre extremely wet, he knows that wouldnât be enough before penetrating you. Itâll still hurt you if he just goes and he definitely doesnât want to cause any pain to you. He wants this moment to only bring tremendous pleasure to both of you. So he decides to tease you with his cock, rubbing it against your inner lips. Moans flow from your mouth as you feel the overwhelming pleasure growing inside your body. Right now, it seems like you havenât been touched properly in years. And even if Jungkook has already made love to you millions of times when you were together, everything feels extremely different.
âShit, I want to fuck you so bad, yn,â he whines.
âMe too, Jungkook,â you reply.
With everything happening at the moment, itâs almost impossible for you to form a proper sentence. All you know is that youâre desperate to have sex with this man. Your moans are the actual proof of it. Â
After what appears like an eternity for you, he buries his thick cock inside your soaked core, stretching your velvety walls. His large hands find their way to your waist, caressing your soft skin while his doe eyes filled with lust look into yours. Both of you groan as he slowly pushes his long and thick cock inside you. Â
âSo fucking good,â you mumble as your eyes roll back.
The feeling of having him inside you and filling you up to the brim is something you did miss a lot. Although you had sex with a lot of different guys over the past years, Jungkook does it very differently but in a very good way. And itâs just the beginning. But honestly, you have a crazily immense sexual drive. You havenât really been a saint since you last saw your ex, that is currently on top of you. All men that flirted with you and ended up in your bed have actually loved your wild sexual appetite.
Your ex leans closer, pushing his cock a bit deeper inside you and snatching a loud moan out of you. Â Â
âYouâre absolutely sexy, baby,â he whispers in your ear, sending shivers down your spine. âSo sexy that I want to fuck you all day long,â his deep voice groans in your ear.
His teeth bite your earlobe before his tongue licks your ear. A deep moan leaves your lips while you feel yourself grow even wetter. This man knows exactly how to bring you down on your knees for him. And you donât even want to start on the effect of his filthy words said with his deep voice on you.
âThen do it,â you dare to say as you want to push him to go absolutely wild today.
Jungkook is a man. Usually, men adore being pushed and theyâll fuck you just the way you want. Today, you want him to be rough with you. You want him to fuck you until all you know is to scream his name. You want all the neighbors to know how good your ex makes you feel. You want him to come inside the condom again and again until none of you can handle it anymore.
âI already plan to do it, princess,â he pulls back a bit to look you in the eyes, and a smirk arises on his face. âTomorrow you wonât even be able to walk at all.â
You desire nothing more than this. To be completely sore and swollen down there.
âYou have absolutely no idea of all the things I desire to do to you,â he presses a gentle kiss on your cheek. âYouâll beg me to never stop,â he adds. Â
Jungkook slowly pushes back, only leaving the tip of his cock inside you. His eyes never leave your figure, watching you moan under him. Thatâs a sound he loves, and he missed it a lot. He dreamed of this a lot since the last time you had sex.
âThen, show me no mercy, Jungkook,â you answer.
A smirk appears on his face, satisfied to hear you say those words. Damn, he wants nothing more than to drive you completely crazy.
Brutally, he pushes his cock fully inside you, and a loud moan leaves your lips. For a little while, he doesn't move, hovering over you and watching you with delight. His eyes look down on your body. For sure, your body is different than it was ten years ago but youâre still absolutely stunning. Your skin is still very soft like he remember it was.
For the two of you, this seems like something totally new while being something very familiar. Itâs quite odd but it feels good. Sex usually feels good, the two of you can say it out of experience. Jungkook groans as he watches himself buried deep inside you.
âYour cunt still takes me so fucking well, princess.â
You close your eyes, completely enjoying having him fully inside you. What you like the most about shutting down your eyes during intercourse is how you connect more to your body. With your eyes closed, you can deeply experience everything that is going on. However, it can also be extremely overwhelming, especially when the man youâre having sex with is awfully good in bed. Â
Once Jungkook sees that youâre ready to take more, he brutally pulls back before slamming himself back into you. The couch under you squeaks while a very deep moan escapes your lips. If he does it again, the sofaâs back is going to hit the wall and even probably destroy it. However, right now, you absolutely donât give a shit. Â
Jungkook once again stops when heâs fully inside you, torturing you just to hear you begging him to fuck you. He hasnât heard you beg for anything in years so itâs just legitimate he craves it deeply at this precise moment.
âPlease,â you say grumbling, âfuck me.â
Jungkook leans closer again. âI love to hear you begging, princess,â he whispers before licking the spot just under your ear.
He pushes his cock back before slamming into you with both hands on your hips, pulling you back to meet his thrusts. The slick sound of your pussy soaking his cock as well as your moans are filling the room. All those sounds remind you that youâre doing something completely nasty with your ex but damn, this is beyond amazing. Â
âShit,â you gasp while he thrusts into you with no mercy, âyou feel so good.â
Youâre completely drunk in the feeling of his cock filling you up, his hips hitting against yours with every thrust he makes. This all causes sparks of pleasure to shoot throughout your body, your arousal dripping from your core and creaming the condom on his cock. Jungkook smirks as he notices the sticky mess youâre slowly causing. His cock is buried deep inside you, brushing against your walls that causes you to moan even louder each time. You grip the couch as hard as possible to steady yourself from Jungkookâs hard thrusts, but it definitely is an impossible mission.
âYouâre so fucking wet, baby girl,â he hisses before biting his lower lip. His hands press harder into your skin when he feels your walls tighten around him. âAnd making such a mess on my cock.â
Every time he pushes his hips back, he watches with delight the way the condom is completely covered with your arousal. Nothing drives him crazier than seeing this, you can see it in his eyes.
âYou love it, donât you?â You ask him. His doe eyes look up at you, and they are filled with lust, making you shiver as they look at you.
Jungkook bends down, pressing a sloppy kiss on your lips while his thrusts slow down. A desperate whine gushes from you, a sound that he instantly swallows. His hands move up on your body, grabbing your breasts and squeezing them to make you moan with desire before his fingers start playing with your nipples. Moans flood out of your mouth as your ex keeps torturing your body at a slow pace. Your hands irresistibly grab his hair, tugging it as much as possible.
âIt feels so good,â you whine, âfuck, Kook.â
The nickname surprises both of you but it left your lips in the heat of the moment. For sure, itâll be the only time youâll say it, at least for now. But it warms his heart to hear you call him by this nickname.
His thrusts are slow and harsh again, and his fingers on your nipples are just too much for you. They are extremely sensitive but itâs absolutely normal. Once someone starts playing with them, they just get sensitive and it just brings a lot of delight to you. Â
Gradually, Jungkook begins to thrust hard into you again, and you moan at the feeling of his brutal thrust. Your walls suck his cock as he slams his hips into you with more force. His fingers keep playing with your very sensitive nipples, pushing you closer and closer to the edge. Itâs clear that he knows how to drive somebody crazy.
His eyes look at you, completely contorted with pleasure as it slowly builds within you. Your moans are getting louder, youâre not one to hold back or stifle your groans because thatâs for sure an indicator to Jungkook of how good heâs making you feel and if heâs doing things well.
âMoan louder, baby,â he says as he goes deeper and harder to make you scream with pleasure. He loves it so damn much. Â
His hands can feel the way your body quivers with each thrust. The way heâs torturing your body is only making you lose yourself further but damn, you havenât been fucked this way ever in your life. This is magical, your entire body has completely surrendered to this man. Â
âFuck,â he groans when he feels the warmth of your walls wrapping tighter around him. âYour cunt is clenching so hard, baby.â
The sweat is dampening his body, sticking his long hair to his face. That vision alone can make you come undone right now. As you stare at him, you canât help but think how lucky you are to be doing this right now. His eyes stare down at you with passion and lust as his tongue licks his lower lips. He keeps growling your name, thrusting into you with more urgency each time.
âFuck,â you say as you move your hips to meet his thrust.
Jungkook leans forward, pressing another sloppy kiss on your lips. Heâs been enjoying sensing your lips on his, even if the kiss is a disaster. Currently, all he craves is you, and in any way. Your eyes never cease to look at him, heâs mesmerizing and incredibly hot. Man, heâs even hotter than he was years ago. You bite your bottom lip as you admire him.
âGonna be a good girl and cum for me?â He asks, and you nod.
All you want right now is to do as he wishes and youâre also very close to exploding due to all the pleasure heâs causing. But Jungkook wants to hear you begging to come, he wants to know how badly you want to come.
âUse your words, baby girl.â
His fingers pinch your nipples harder, making the wave of pleasure grow bigger inside you. A loud moan escapes your lips.
âI want to come,â you manage to say, âI wanna come so-so bad.â
Jungkook feels his cock twitching inside of you, a low groan rumbling in his throat as you practically beg him to let you come. He smirks like he has won the award for the best fuck of the year. One of his hands slowly goes down on your body, passing your stomach, and landing on your throbbing clit. His fingers start to rub your sensitive spot as his cock keeps hitting your sensitive walls.
âBeg for it, baby girl,â he says.
His fingers show no mercy on your clit, and youâre not even sure if youâll be able to beg for anything before coming. Youâre a complete mess right now, and youâve completely surrendered to the overwhelming sensations youâre experiencing.
âPlease, Kook,â you manage to say.
With the way heâs torturing you, you canât even form a proper sentence. You actually canât even think at all, outside the fact that you love what Jungkook is doing to you. Â
âTell me, baby girl,â he keeps teasing you with a smirk on his face.
For sure, he would have loved to experience other positions with you for more pleasure. But this is just the beginning. Heâll let you come now and later, heâll torture you with other sex positions. He wonât leave you alone today, that heâs sure about.
âLet me come.â
His smirk grows bigger on his face, happy to have you begging him to come. Teasing you is something that heâs enjoying a lot. The wave of pleasure inside you is growing bigger and bigger, becoming way too overwhelming. Youâre moaning like a mess, but at this stage, you couldnât care less. Â Â Â
âDo it, princess, come for me.â
Those words are what you needed to hear to let go of everything. Instantly, the wave of pleasure that was growing inside of you violently hits you, making you come hard around him. Your arousal totally covers the condom on his cock and your walls squeeze him over and over again.
While youâre completely euphoric from your orgasm, he speeds up the pace of his hips slamming into you, wanting to chase his own high. Heâs aware that in a matter of seconds, heâll burst into the condom. Breathy whines escape his pretty lips as he looks down at the mess you made. His eyes are completely hypnotized where your bodies meet.
It doesnât take him too long to be hit by his own orgasm, desperate moans leaving his mouth when it happens. His eyes roll back with pleasure as his body tenses up and releases his load inside the condom, loud cries of euphoria leaving his lips.
You move a bit on the couch to leave him some room to lie down. Thereâs not a lot of place for the two of you on the couch next to each other.
âMaybe you can rest on top of me,â he suggests as he removes the condom from his cock.
You simply nod while standing up to let him rest how ever he wants on the couch. The second heâs well installed, you rest on top of him, your head against his chest. His beating heart rocks you, his strong arms holding you tight against him. For a little while, none of you speaks. His hands caress your body which soothes you after this wild moment.
âOnce we really calm down from this ecstatic sex, would you like to go on a date with me?â Jungkook asks.
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đđ§ đđĄđ đđŤđđđŹ, đđ§ đđĄđ đđŤđđđłđ || đ˛đ¨đŽđ§đ !đđ¨đŤđ˘đ¨đĽđđ§đŽđŹ đđ§đ¨đ° đą đ
đđŚ!đŤđđđđđŤ
part one: stop, youâre losing me || part two: in the trees, in the breeze (here)
đđŽđŚđŚđđŤđ˛_ your memory kept haunting Coriolanus Snow, so he found the way to end his exile. Itâs a new era, but the same old feelings between Coriolanus and you keep causing scandals. Although, you are not ready to let go the pain he caused to you.
đđđŤđ§đ˘đ§đ đŹ_ Capitol ballerina!reader, angst, drama, violence and death lol, jealousy, unhinged Coriolanus, sex mentions, reader still has health problems, etc. 13k words fic IM SORRY
đđŽđđĄđ¨đŤ'đŹ đ§đ¨đđ_ hear this along Canât catch me now, Iâm not an OR fan but I love that song from her. I mean, who didnât? And thank you for the wait and loveeeee. PLEASE TELL ME OF ANY ERRORS BC I CANâT BE ALMOST ACCUSED OF BEING TRANSPHOBIC PLEASEEEE
⪠⍠awful Coriolanus Snow playlist ⰠIndex (+ fics here)
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Red, blue, red, red, yellow, green, green, pink.
Every color is correctly marked. A nurse smiles with some papers on her hand before she dissapears.
You can get dressed again. The color test was done, your vision was okay.
Purple and green bruises are scattered across your skin. Some appeared on your inner thighs. Two on your knees and one on the ribs from the day you collapsed after the post-Hunger Games celebration. You sigh covering your skin with a long floral dress. The reflection of yourself on the mirror salutes you with a tired, broken and sad face. It makes you force a smile, pretending more people were watching you. The room in empty though.
âEverything is fine. Your body is responding well to the shots.â A doctor asks as soon as he walks in into the room.
âThe only thing that worries me is your mental health. Have you been stressed or has anything happened to you that could be considered a traumatic experience?â
The pointe shoes soaked in blood. The unstoppable bleeding on your feet. The late nights with panic attacks and over thinking. That young blonde man and the songbird together. The night on dressing room, how your hand burned after slapping the man so hard. The shock of all the events surrounding your life two weeks ago. How you lost control, your head spinning, blurred vision, heart pounding, numb arms and how you felt the oxygen was leaving. All the things you did for someone who never deserved you, making you shatter, fainting as soon as you finished dancing.
âMiss y/l/n⌠Are you okay?â The distant voice of the doctor breaks your bubble. You shake your head in disguise before turning away from the mirror, facing him and smiling politely.
âYes, Iâm fine. I was very stressed, yeah. Working with the production of the Hunger Games. My artistic performances, last days at the Academy. It was a lotâŚâ the doctor sighs, annotating something. He then handed you the paper.
âIâm giving you some treatment for that. And please, you have to be careful and calm. Only that way the medicine will help everything to work hereâ he points his head. You nod, accepting the paper.
After that, you leave the private hospital. Trevor is there, your chauffeur and friend. He smiles, opening the door for you.
âThank you, Trevorâ he starts the car soon after.
âIs everything okay?â You nod, looking at the bright day at the Capitol.
âI just need to relax and eat well.â Trevor had trimmed his hair. It made him look younger, making you smile at the memory of him saying his wife was his hairstylist.
âGood. Oh, I received a call from your mother. This womanâŚuh, Dr. Volumnia Gaul? She wants to see you at the Univeristy todayâ you frown to look at him confused.
âOh? So⌠Can we go now?â He nods, turning left to start the route. Meanwhile, you wonder what could she want. You made your part, the games had a higher amount of viewers compared to last year. You engaged with the production and the celebration was at full capacity. Your little accident even made it more attractive to the media. Appearing on the papers and magazines across Panem.
And after everything, you still wanted to keep dancing. Or else range would consume you.
âŚ
Itâs the first time you step inside the Capitolâs University. Itâs very similar to the Academy, but the floor tiles are green and white. Thereâs a lot of white, cream, golden and black decorating the halls and long stairs.
Since itâs summer, most of the building was empty. Only some of the staff, and very few people who seemed like students. You see they dress very elegant. Some women wore hats with feathers or flowers. The men wore classy suits and you genuinely thought you would fit in.
You couldnât wait to have some sense of normality as a Univeristy student along Clemensia and Lysistrata. Your only close friends left. Well, also Festus and Sejanus.
What seems like the private office of Gaul has a red door. Inside, she had a laboratory, smaller but weirder than the one you had seen before. Full of dissected creatures, tanks and crystal containers with unknown chemicals.
Some steps further and you see her desk, where she is collecting some folders and putting them away in some shelves.
âGlad to see you breathing, miss y/l/nâŚâ somehow you found the humor to smile coldly.
âAs you can see.â You reply standing perfectly correct.
âBy this point you should know what happened to Mr. Snowâ goosebumps make you shake your shoulders slightly, you nod again.
âHe was exiled. Twenty years. He lied to me and did not said a thing about cheating on the gamesâ
âIndeed. However this morning, I just discovered he bribed a woman to be sent to District 12.â You bite your tongue to hide your fury. A hot feeling invade your chest in rage. But you just breathe, failing to not show discontent.
âThatâs not any of my business anymore.â Even Gaul seems taken aback. However, she doesnât say anything, she just keeps pulling away the pile of folders.
âWell, since it seems you both parted ways⌠I must share that Iâm deleting any record or data related to the 10th Hunger Games. Too many things happened before, during and after the games. Things that would compromise the reputation of the whole organization. Including me, the Academy, the mentors, you and Mr. Snowâ honestly, you donât know what to say. You just frown slightly, demonstrating how confused you were. But you also understood with half of the context. The death of Arachne, Coriolanus and his odd ways to make his songbird oustand, the rebel attack, Lucy Gray Baird winning from cheat. And the things you didnt know like Sejanus entering the arena.
However, you stick to your parentâs advice. You have to think about you and anyone else.
âI understand. But I did my part. I completed my task so I hope this decision doesnât jeopardize my grantâ she smiles. Dr. Gaul secretly believed that you and Coriolanus Snow could rule Panem together. In a sick and evil way, so she really hoped her dark intentions would work.
âOf course not. We had a deal. The views went up this year. You brought a new vision for the promotion that Iâll hardly let go.â The ambition started tickling you. Making you roll your tongue inside your closed mouth, at the verge of opening it and talking.
âGood.â
âIn fact, you would be a nice option to become head of the promotion and relations team.â From the last games, you realized the director only gave instructions but he rarely did the dirty job. You liked having some power over the games. And now, a childish and unjustified resentment towards District 12 made you smile as Gaul offered you a new job.
âIs it a possible option to be working in behalf of my motherâs institution?â
âYouâre very smart, y/n y/l/n. You are going further than Mr. Snowâ your smile only grows, knowing you are nit being correct. You are letting the rage and resentment to guide you. You will make your last name shine brighter than your parents did. Just to rub it in the face of certain blonde who was now exiled. Probably savoring the country life of District 12.
âI just want to make my familyâs name bigger than it already isâ the woman giggles, taking out a red envelope and handing it you.
âI assume youâll pursue the arts as youâre speciality. But if you want to get involved with the production, marketing and relations. You are taking politics and some lessons with meâ when you look down at the envelope, the golden logo of the university is greeting you. Itâs the admission letter.
âI expect to see you here by the end of the summerâ you nod, thanking her.
And as you walk outside where Trevor is waiting for you, you have a cocky smile. Feelings like things could go better. You donât even remember the doctorâs appointment you were in before coming to see Gaul.
âŚ
Your soft hands gently brush against his forehead. Coriolanus had chills, he hadnât had fever since he was 15 years old. But your hands are so soft even when they feel cold as ice. He just knows heâs in his bed. In his rottening penthouse. He can see a slightly blurred image of you, wearing a green dress, your hair in a braid, a golden necklace, dark purple lips. He canât hear your words, but you are talking to him, spreading some cream across his chest, immediately he felt the mint soothing his cough and pain. He mustâve said something funny, because he can now see clearly your face, gorgeous as always. And he can clearly hear you laughing.
Coriolanus wakes up smiling. And he realised he was dreaming.
He was in a small and creaky lower bunk bed. Sejanus sleeping in the upper bunk. The sun hasnât come up. And heâs a peacekeeper in District 12.
Itâs been weeks since he left the Capitol. And since day one, you seem to be haunting him.
Current dreams of you, swearing to be hearing your voice. It makes him want to call you every single day. But he doesnât. He was able to forget about you when he was in the peacekeeper training and duties. When he was with Lucy Gray any trace of you was gone. But as soon as he had a moment alone, he would remember everyhting about you.
He missed you. Painfully a lot.
Every Friday, he had been sending the letters. He hoped your mother would hand them to you. But Coriolanus knew you too well to know you likely would not be reading them. Nonetheless, he was letting himself to write the most vulnerable pieces of him, putting his heart on each word and phrase. Hoping that by the time his exile was over, you would have forgiven him.
When the sun rise, heâs up along the rest of the boys. Sejanus gives him a friendly smile and theyâre out exercising and doing jobs all day long. During his break, heâs able to seat in an old bench, with a beautiful view of an open green field.
Thatâs when he dreams of seeing there, dancing or simply standing there with a sundress. Like the ones you used to wear on summer when he visited the house your parents had in District 4. He dreams so hard that he swears seeing the skirt of your dress swaying through the trees. And thatâs when he knows heâs so fucked up.
But thatâs long forgotten after the break is over. And by the night, heâs on the biggest bar of the town. He sees Lucy Gray singing something new. He honestly never understood the meaning behind her songs, but he was enchanted by her do what she loved.
After her live presentation, a big projector was introduced. They started playing the weather with Lucky Flickerman. Which made Coriolanus miss the Capitol.
âTheyâre probably waiting for some women. Thatâs why the always start that thingâ Lucy Gray said, appearing by his side. He smiled at her.
âTo see women?â She nodded, grabbing a glass of cold water.
âYou know who are men around herâ with no tv around, no ostentatious lifestyles, men could get excited with little makeup and satin gowns. Coriolanus was disgusted by many mannerism of the 12. But he was happy to be able to find some peace along the songbird.
âSee? Whatâs that thing by the way?â When Coriolanus turned around to see the old projector, he almost choked.
It was the summer fundraising charity of your mother. Another luxurious gala to help the constructions of the Capitol after war. However, that wasnt the most impressive part for Coriolanus. It was the fact that you were getting in pose to start a performance.
Lucy Gray Baird was in shock. So if she was surprised, the men all around the bar where cheering and whistling.
There you were, with curled wet hair, metallic bronze makeup, wine lips, golden bracelet on your arms. But the attire. A two piece set that let your legs and stomach show off. With bare feet, and two elegant knives. One on each hand. Your cocky smile was back. And it was ruining Coriolanus Snow.
He literally jumped from his seat, leaving Lucy Gray to cross the river of men and properly see you.
She knew you had broken up with him. And that relieved the songbird, as she felt like she could let her feelings for Coriolanus flow freely. But seeing the boy literally hipnotized as soon he saw you, it made her feel uneasy. Deeply she knew that Coriolanus wasnât over you. And no matter what, you were a sensible subject for him. That not even herself could ever test.
But he kept going. Each step meant hearing them say how good you looked, the places where theyâd put their hands on your body. It boiled his blood.
But he finally, the dance killed him. Because maybe for the capitol you were still elegant and classy. Their eyes would publicly appreciate your art, and privately let their mind wander with your half naked body. But for people from the 12. It was like throwing a piece of meat to lions in starvation.
With your hips swaying tentatively, pointed feet letting everyone know how flexible you were. That sassy look on your face that Coriolanus was feeling too personal. It was like you were saying look what you lost.
He was used to see you in pastel tutus, hair in a bun. Not this goddess ritual dance type of thing. The music was very different, something very uncommon in Panem. He really wants to punch every man in the room. He sees how most of the women in the bar see your graceful image with disgust. And Coriolanus couldnât blame them. But it made him remember that he had lost the right to call you his. And that intrusive thought made him automatically think he wanted to go back home so badly.
Your sensual and meticulous steps keep going, the knives making him remember the folk tales of women dancing with sharp objects to show fertility, honor of their kingdom and to seal a manâs faith. Every minute more desperate for Snow, whoâs over the edge of hearing men say plenty of things about you. But soon, the music stops with you arched, straight knees, your curls kissing the stage, the knives perfectly pointing like a clock.
Coriolanus doesnt miss your evil smile. He can sense you are changing. And he remember all the pain he caused you, making him sigh in resignation. His desire of going back for you only growing.
âIâm sorry I left like thatâ he explains to Lucy Gray. She notices how quick he drank his beer. She was a woman after all, she knew the effect a fine woman could have on men. Especially on the one who was her lover. The one that probably hurt her and left her, ending their history in bad terms.
âItâs okay. I told you she was very pretty beforeâ Coriolanus learns that Lucy Gray was not being sarcastic that day at the zoo.
âŚ
It had come to the point where he couldnât run away from his thoughts. Coriolanus was borderline obsessed with your memory. He constantly wondered how you were doing. He had to ask Tigris every time they talked to see learn anything about you.
For the first time, since he left the Capitol, Tigris shares that she had talked to you.
Coriolanus was surprised to hear that the reason you gave about the breakup was only because he cheated with Lucy Gray.
You didnât said a word about him the lies, the last argument you two had. You only say that his songbird was special. And that you stopped to be what he needed.
Which was heavily mistaken. Some days before August accepted that you were the only thing he needed to keep going. He imagines a fake scenario where you came to the 12 with him. You find a humble home where you wait till his training is over. The lake where he spent hours with Lucy Gray and The Covey couldâve been hours with you. Talking about anything and everything. He wouldâve come straight home to you when the training was over. Make love to you, promise to fight for a higher position, possibly as a commander one day and marrying you. And soon the years wouldâve passed, his exile would be over and you would go back to the Capitol with him. Maybe some children along.
But that would never happen. And his delusion was starting to make him find a way to go back where he belonged.
He questioned if his urges where for power, or to get back the woman he loved.
Whatever the reason was, a lot of people would pay the price. First were the daughter of the mayor and her partner, then the man who had the decency to hide the gun he used to kill those two.
His hands trembling as he pressed to record Sejanus. But he knew there were high possibilities of being heard. And that way, he would go back. He would find you and slowly start again.
The death of Sejanus would haunt him for a long time. He knew he was a close friend of yours, which made him get chills, uneasy to decide what could be your reaction to the news. Either way, it was done. The heavens had to have heard him. He was offered to serve in District 2, gain some money and he could easily take the train to see you if anything.
But Lucy Gray had other plans. And Coriolanus wasnt even sure of what he was doing. Probably in his rambling and panic after everything he went through as a peacekeeper, one side of him wanted to run away and never see back again. To forget about his decisions as a mentor, to forget about his decisions as a peacekeeper and to forget about you. That way he would never have to face all the pain he caused you.
After some hours of walking, Coriolanus should have seen the signs.
âEveryone in the Covey are really good dancers. But I donât think itâs my thing. I just have my voiceâŚâ Lucy Gray said, holding her bag tightly. Coriolanus only smiled, remembering how bad the songbird was when he tried to teach her how to waltz.
âIs it like⌠exclusive in the Capitol?â
âI think so. Today thereâs only one institution, the mother ofâŚâ he goes quiet, realizing what he was about to say.
ââŚy/n?â She asked, almost nervous about mentioning your name. But in reality, she wasnt. After Coriolanus nodded, they just kept walking in silence.
âHer mother founded it?â
âIt was her grandmother actually. Mine knew her, and they were kind of friendsâ he said smiling, trying to look away from Lucy Gray so he couldnât see him smiling.
Once you leaned Coriolanus was financially struggling some years ago, you ended up visiting him for the first time. That day you learned Grandmaâam was friend of your family before your mother was born. And that only made her appreciate you faster. Which made Coriolanus happy. Finally seeing her grandmother to let go the days of the war and any crazy ideas that stayed on her mind. All thanks to you.
âGrandmaâam even started planting pink roses for her.â It slipped out automatically, he couldnât control it.
âSheâs like inkâŚâ Coriolanus missed the point. But after some minutes of silence, he understood what Lucy Gray said. Which resulted true. Metaphorically, you were the brightest tint heâd ever seen. He let that ink fall and splash everywhere, leaving stains on him that probably would never leave.
And finally, Lucy Gray Baird fell to her end in the shallow woods. Hunted like a prey. By a broken man who decided to stop being good. Who was losing his mind for the pieces of a woman he let go so easily.
That changes like the destination of Coriolanus.
Heâs going back to the Capitol. With tiny sparks of hope. But firmly believing that everyhting was meant to happen like that so he could go back to you.
However, as he came closer, Coriolanus realized he was lost. He had no idea what would await for him. And what version of you would greet him.
âŚ
There isnât an exact period over the Capitol that canât be considered as autumn. The summer was practically over, and winter was already happening. Coriolanus had to wait longer than expected to get into University. In the meantime, he accepted the money from the Plinth family. He decided to get ahead of time. He used the last hot days to get Tigris and Grandmaâam back to the penthouse. He bought the whole building and in two weeks the whole place was renewed. There was only one thing he couldnât get rid of. The living room and entrance olive paint you brought. He painted the halls, dining room, studio and kitchen in a dark blue paint. But he wasnt able to get rid of the memories he made with you. His old self was long gone. But he had his supcisions that the version he was for you would never change.
However, he decided to stay afar from the public eye for that month after returning from exile.
Tigris said she hadnât seen you. But that was okay. He would soon enter to University. He was going to see you there.
Eventually the day came. He gets rid off Casca Highbottom and then he walks towards the big and imposing University of the Capitol. He had a driver now, but he thought it wouldnât be bad to use the mornings to walk.
In his first hours inside, he has private lessons with Dr. Gaul. Already mentoring him to be a game maker. She kind of suspects he was involved with the sudden death of Highbottom. But for some reason, Gaul has a lot of hopes in him, so she would easily act blind to keep her plans to keep going.
After that, Coriolanus starts looking out for you. He crosses the big seminar rooms and other halls. Until he is able to locate the arts building. Itâs smaller but probably the mots interesting. With a beautiful barroque facade. As soon as he enters, he sees a group of girls holding large canvas with beautiful painting on them. Then, some steps later he spots two guys trying to carry a sculpture. Coriolanus believes that kind of modern art was the future of the Capitol. He had to admit the arts building was fully alive, he even forgot he was still at the university.
Coming down from some stairs, he sees two girls. A red haired and a tanned with black leotards and floral skirts are giggling. They seems like dancers, he doesnt think twice. Heâs already approaching the girls.
âExcuse me, ladies. Do you know by any chance where I can find y/n y/l/n?â The girls look cheekily at each other, before smiling at him. Which makes Coriolanus wonder what type of rumours had been flowing around about you and him. Since mostly everyone knew the last Snow heir was dating the daughter of the kings of Panem´s television industry.
âSheâs rehearsing now. Itâs on the second floor, youâll hear the musicâŚâ he thanks the tanned girl before going upstairs.
She wasnât lying. He started hearing the classical piano music. He can hear some distant and low cheering. The whole floor is full of dancers. Itâs a long hall, to the right, a big studio, with a classical mural, chandeliers and the most giant mirror heâd ever seen.
The people outside the studio see him with curiosity. But he only has eyes for the ballerina dancing all across the studio.
There you are, with a coral tutu, black leotard and thighs. Your pointe shoes seem new. Your cheeks look so pink and your smile is there.
He has to understand that you have become popular enough to have your own fans. Some rumors said that your mother was offering master classes at the University. And he couldnât help but think how much your familyâs name have growth since he left.
He lost count of many turns you did, but you finish cleanly, offering a beautiful view of your tutu wadding.
People start a round of applauses. He debates whether to get closer or not. He doesnt have any speech prepared. He doesnât know what to say to you.
âCoriolanus?â When he turns around, he sees Clemensia Dovecote there. Her old study buddy looked older, but not in a bad way. He saw the scales on her skin. But he didnt had to ask, he knew it was because of the rainbow snakes. It just seemed weird to see with short sleeves but turtleneck.
âClemensiaâ he greets her. Clemmie was probably your female best friend. It wasnt a surprise that suddenly the woman seemed to dislike him.
âSince when you returned?â He looks back at you again. As the music keeps playing, he just smiles. He know the way things would now work. With no how are you questions or anything like the past.
âSome weeks ago.â Clemensia looks like sheâs analyzing every movement and word of him.
âWhy are you here?â Her hostile tone only makes Coriolanus to act more relaxed than he already is.
âI made the promise to come back for y/nâŚâ the woman stares at him, probably taken aback.
âShe doesnât need this, Coriolanus. She canât have thisâ Clemensia had visited you at the hospital. She learned most of his lies towards you. She knew you didnât deserved to fall again. And especially not because of him.
âI know, Clemmie. I wonât be a burden for herâ the music stops, and Coriolanus decides that itâs not time to talk to you yet. So he smiles once again to Clemensia.
âI hope so. Because you already failed her onceâŚâ his smile drops. Clemensia dissapears to get inside the studio. Coriolanus stares at you one last time, before he silently walks out.
âŚ
Before you can reach your glass of posca, a porcelain plate with your food slides on the way. A soft piece pile of fried little steaks, with melted cheese and a golden sauce of mushrooms dripping. Your stomach churns and it makes Clemensia laugh.
She had a salmon fine cut with caviar and other exotic stuff. It was a beautiful afternoon to have dinner at one of the most elegant restaurants of the Capitol Downtown.
âBless your food.â
âBless your foodâ you reply back to her.
âSo, How it went the rehearsal?â You roll your eyes giggling.
âIt was great, until the girls taking the masterclass appeared to see meâ your father was right. After working in the production of the 10th Hunger Games, many doors opened for you. Splendid career opportunities here and there. Only that you didnât enjoy a lot of attention.
âAre they still at the Academyâ you nod.
âRich girls who can make their parents pay the classes of courseâ Clemensia smiles, drinking a little bit before getting back to eat.
âCoriolanus was looking for youâŚâ you literally stopped eating. You almost drop your fork, but you decided to hold it firmly.
âWhat?â
âApparently heâs back.â She reveals. Making you close your eyes in panic.
âHow? He was exiledâ you say whispering. Clemmie shrugs.
âGaul. Heâs her pupil star. And with Dean Highbottom dead nowâŚâ it mustâve been great for Coriolanus to learn the man was gone. Always putting him in the lowest, it was a mark for change.
âDoesnât matter, I wonât let this get into my wayâ she smiles.
âWhat about what your father said?â During a late lunch, you had been talking with your parents, revealing that you broke up with Coriolanus because he cheated. Your mother was shocked, but soon she joined your father to give a twisted advice. He asked if you still loved him. You answered you werenât sure.
Then I suggest you to proceed to ignore him. Soon youâll learn his intentions if he ever comes back. Play with him a little. Show him that nobody will laugh in the face of family like ours. Let your hands get dirty, but never show this insecurity youâre talking about.
From that day, you still wake up every morning without knowing how you actually feel about Coriolanus Snow. You know you canât just simply forget about all the things you did with him. But you firmly pretended that he was in the past.
âI still donât know how I feel about him.â
âAre you still in contact with his family?â You remember Tigris and Grandmaâam.
âNot as much as I used toâ
âMhm. Did they ever learned what happened?â You sigh.
âJust that he opted to choose the songbird before me. And I know Tigris has her own opinion. I just never gave her the opportunity to share it.â
âWith him back⌠probably youâll find out sooner than laterâ Clemensia admits, leaving you thinking for the rest of the dinner.
Turns out that you are not ready to find out yet.
âŚ
The first time you see him, itâs at the gardens of the University. You had lunch and wanted to have a brief walk. Through a maze of flowers and plants, you spot him on a bench. Heâs very concentrated reading a book. Your eyes widen, seeing how much different he looked. The posture, the clothes, the hair, the cold look.
Something notoriously changed. And you have your suspicions. It wasnât a coincidence that Sejanus was gone, and Lucy Gray Baird had dissapeared.
You mourned the death of Sejanus one week. You send your condolences to his parents at the funeral. And that night you camâs help but cry on your pillow. Wondering why had life slowly turned dark. In a matter of months you had experienced things you never thought you would. You lost people, you had your first heart broken. You had lost the will to do much things. But, you had to keep going. And you felt guilty, because you thought you had no right to feel like your life was hard, just for being Capitol. The districts struggled more. However, itâs not on your power to mend their lives. Just as itâs not their case to judge your life.
And now, seeing Coriolanus so firm, so calm, it makes you doubt. Sensing that there mustâve been something off about him. Something bad, like all the things he did and hide from you.
You pretend youâre looking for some papers in your bag when you walk past him. He doesnât see you though, and you thank it.
A couple of days later, you hear for the first time the rumours about him courting Livia Cardew. It makes you feel depressed. You cry out of anger as soon as you get home.
And to your dismay, the first thing you see after turning into a room for the politics class, itâs them. Coriolanus Snow is talking to Livia just beside the door.
Thatâs the first time you two look at each other again. He sees the anger, discontent and so much resentment. You see the questioning, curiosity and admiration in his eyes.
Nothing else is said because you break the gazes, you walk inside the room with your head high, and your presence is so evident that even Livia has to look at you. Taking too much time to see your beautiful heels.
A week later, you are having a good time with your friends. Festus and Lysistrata are there with you and Clemensia. You are talking all about the upcoming winter gala held at the biggest auditorium in the Capitol. Everyone is excited because itâs the great opportunity to make contacts and eat the most delicious food.
âIs your mother inviting Coriolanus?â Lysistrata asks with curiosity. You roll your eyes.
âI hope not. I havenât even spoken with him ever since he came backâ everyone knew you had broke up with him. But only Clemensia knew the details.
âBecause he is courting Livia apparentlyâ Festus mocks, making everyone laugh. Not that any of you had something personal against Livia. But she wasnât the most brilliant star at the Academy. Now not certainly at University.
âWhy Livia?â Clemmie asks laughing.
âPerhaps itâs becase how naĂŻve she isâ
âOr because of her fatherâs inheritanceâ you add.
âI donât think so. Heâs now the heir of the Plinth fortuneâ Festus remarks with dessaproval, which makes you feel angered.
âHeâs dancing on Sejanusâ graveâ your words create some minutes of silence for your late friend. Even when Festus and Lysistrata had made fun of him for being District and the ways of his parents to go up, at the end, they were friends. And now his absence had created a void.
âAmbitious and annoying. Just like his fatherâŚâ Lysistrata comments sipping on her glass of water.
âHow unfortunate. If he had stayed with you, we wouldnât be talking bad things about him behind his backâ you sigh at Clemensiaâs words.
âSpeaking of the kingâŚâ when you look past Lysistrata seated on her chair, you spot Coriolanus. He was wearing a dark grey suit, he looked so fine you had to admit. But soon you look away, the sudden memories of your last days with him haunt you.
After spotting his old friends and ex lover in a table at the cafeteria, he start walking towards there.
âYeah. He wouldâve been seated beside me right now. But he picked the songbird before me. At least heâs refining himself a little bit with Liviaâ your friends turn to look at you in shock after the revelation. But youâre gone, and Coriolanus curses himself for not walking faster.
When he makes it to the table, Festus and Lysistrata are shocked, making him furrow his brows in confusion.
âDid I missed something?â He asks.
âYou had an affair with your tribute?â Lysistrata asks back in disgust. Coriolanus sees Clemensia giggling in silence with her head down. Probably enjoying his embarrassment.
His silence meets the requirement for an answer. One that they take as yes.
âAnd now she knows about you and Liviaâ Coriolanus frowns ever deeper after looking at Clemensia.
âThereâs no Livia and Iâ He responds firmly. Even disgusted to her his name along the least smart girl of his finances class.
âOh but everyone believes so. That youâre courting herâŚâ he rolls his eyes, annoyed.
âIâm just talking to her because weâre partner for some stupid researchâ the silent sipping on their drinks at the same time is ridiculous to Coriolanus. He just stares at them annoyed.
âDo me a favor and leave her alone, Coriolanus. You were gone to go to your nobody girl from 12, but I stayed and saw her struggling in that hospital bedâ Clemensia speaks confidently. Making the blonde to feel threatened.
So he realises that maybe you could have feelings for him still. And that this rumors could have weight on you. He curses himself. Even without realizing, heâs still hurting you.
âI wonât lose the girl twice, Clemmie. Have a good dayâ he says with a fake smile before leaving the table in shock.
He had to quicken the pace of his proximity with you. He had to make you see he never stopped caring for you.
âŚ
Thereâs a shattering mess of broken glasses. You quickly move away from the crime scene, looking for your pills, immediately swallowing two.
Your motherâs assistant opens the door, asking for you with concern.
âIs everything okay, miss y/n?â You turn to look a the woman.
âI accidentally threw the jar. SorryâŚâ Millie is in her mid thirties. She was your motherâs confidant, and slowly yours too. She sees the news paper in the floor, half of it drenched from the broken jar that had water. She can see the title, The Snow heir tights the knot with the Cardew family?
âIâll call the maids. Donât worryâ she says looking back at you.
âThanks Millie.â She smiles, closing the door behind.
You breathe loudly, sighing in stress. Of course you had purposely thrown the water jar because of the news paper. A portrait picture of Livia is placed perfectly aligned with one of Coriolanus. Between some paragraph thereâs your name too. But you donât dare to see why.
You may pretend to be okay to the public eye, but youâre still drowning in the same feelings you got after Coriolanus Snow revealed his lies to you.
Itâs almost like if he was still mocking you. Showing everyone how easy he had played with you. And how easy he got rid of you.
Someone had to pay. No, not someone, he. He, himself, Coriolanus Snow had to fail. Only that way you would feel slightly better. Only that way your tears would stop being for him.
The first chance you had, you would take it.
âŚ
While you loved pursuing a dancing career along the production stuff. You still had some duties regarding politics and economy. Which is why you ended up at the submissions office so early in the morning. To send a petition.
You end up at at a messy office. A man is there, moving folders and other type of papers. Thereâs three baskets that can clearly be read as; approved, denied, pending.
However, you quickly look away to smile at the man whoâs sitting behind the chair.
âGood morning.â Your smile is contagious to everyone. The man replies with a warm greeting.
âGood morning, miss y//l/n. How can I help you?â
âI was wondering if you could hand me a petition form to sendâ he nods, standing up, leaving the mess of papers behind.
âI can, just let me go and print the form. It wonât take too longâŚâ you smile again, letting him go outside the office.
As you wait, you start seeing the racks of boxes and more boxes filled with yellow and lined papers.
Your curiosity grows, making you look at the baskets on the desk.
You see at first glance some graduation petitions, letters, etc. You are still curious to see why some papers where pending. So you look at the door one last time before diving into the papers. You donât know the first students mentioned. Until you see the third yellow folder, where you can see a white strip with black letter saying Coriolanus Snow.
You open the folder, seeing what it was all about. A petition to start a political campaign at the age of 19. You frowned. He was good at writing. Even with letters he had some charm. But you know he never beated you to be precise and delicate. You always heard Grandmaâam saying he would one day be president. But you never seriously discussed it with him. Now you know it was real. And you canât help but feel an enormous amount of remorse.
He doesnât deserve it. He had lost everything once, but the way he was earning everything was through breaking you, and probably others youâll never knew about. Even when it would make Tigris and Grandmaâam happy, you slip the folder into the basket of denied. You donât feel nothing as you do it.
In fact, you offer the sweet man a smile when he comes back with the form for you. You thank him and then walk out.
âŚ
Coriolanus swears he didnât intend to bump into your father at the bank. Your father was a frivolous man, but since he knew him, he greeted Coriolanus with respect.
The blonde was taken aback when he invited him to have dinner at your house. And he couldnât say no.
Your house is the same. At least from the outside, because inside, thereâs more color. Coriolanus sees your mother. And she offers him a smile before he leans to give her a kiss on the cheek.
âCoriolanus, look at you. You look very handsome!â His cheeks warm, as your father giggles, handing his coat to a maid.
âI ran into him at the bank. Whereâs y/n, dear?â Your mother laughs, rolling her eyes.
âThat girl. I havenât seen her out of her room since middayâ the sudden sound of your heels gets noticed.
âIâm hereâ you say, coming down the stairs, putting some earrings on. Coriolanus notices the grey dress and black heels along the red tights. A diadem on your head and a bright smile that soon dissapears as you spot him in your house.
âLook who I found earlierâ you sigh, standing straight.
âI see.â Your parents can see the way you correct your posture, showing how uncomfortable you are.
âWeâre having dinnerâŚâ you ignore Coriolanus and his deep gaze on you.
âI canât stay for dinner. I have rehearsals and I promised Clemmie to go to her birthday dinner partyâ they exchange looks. And Coriolanus is at the verge of smiling at the way you are making up an excuse to leave. Running away from him.
âAre you meeting with Jan before?â Coriolanus head almost pops to look at your father. And you donât know if you should smile. Jan was your dance partner, he would dance with you at the gala. He was older, yet very handsome. And you wished he wasnât off limits from you. Because you easily could admit your attraction towards him.
âCan you at least stay for some drinks?â You shrug at your mother, accepting your purse from a maid. You ignore Coriolanus and his way of looking at you, almost petrified.
His head was spinning, he needed to know who the hell was Jan.
âUnless you want me to do horrible at the Winter gala, no. I cannot stay, motherâ she sighs, tilting her head towards your father. He understands, your father was the one who convinced you to ignore Coriolanus and play with him.
âWell, thatâs fine. Just be polite and say goodbye to Coriolanus.â You nod, watching them leave inside the long corridor to enter the dinning table.
You remain quiet, looking down at your purse to avoid his eyes.
âYou look lovelyâ he says, breaking the ice.
âThank you.â
Itâs the first time you two talk since months ago.
âI heard you want to start your political campaignâ you opt to pretend you are okay and you can face him with confidence.
âI did. But the idiots of the council rejected my essay. Guess itâll give me more time to focus on university.â You nod, grabbing a pair of gloves from inside the purse. You want to smile so badly. He would never know you were the reason of his failed first steps in the politic of Panem.
âAnyways⌠How youâve been?â
âIâm fine, Coriolanus.â the way you sound tired. Like tired of him makes him uncomfortable. But he tries to keep his best smile too.
âWho is Jan?â He asks almost too seriously. You smile politely at him
âNo one of your business, Snowâ you calling him by his last name takes him very aback.
âYou know, I just hoped that⌠you know. Maybe we could start off again⌠like friends of courseâ you giggle, lowering your head. He frowns confused.
âMiss y/n, Trevor is waiting in the car for youâ the butler say appearing from the side door, you thank him and he leaves again.
âI donât think thereâs a way to start again. You already failed me once, Coriolanus.â You admit, putting on the gloves with a bittersweet smile on your face. You turn to pat his cheek, and he swears heâs about to melt. He lounged for your touch since the moment he left you at the hospital. He closes his eyes, hoping to slow down time and felt your cold touch.
But you move away your hand. He opens his eyes and sees you putting the last pair of the gloves on. You walk towards the door.
âYou know where the dinning table room is.â And with that, you are gone.
âŚ
Your father gave him the green light to court you again. Coriolanus had to swear that he would never cause you any type of pain, or else, your father would destroy his career before it officially started.
That was more than enough for him. Since that day, slowly, he had been greeting you almost every day, at Univeristy and when you ecountered him and Tigris in a furniture store. You personally invited her to the Winter gala, and Tigris agreed to not share the news about the invitation. But to the young Snow woman, it was a surprise that your father had already invited Coriolanus to the gala.
Soon the day came. As usual the gala opened with the performance of an specific play, than everyone celebrated in the hall with fine dining, and everyone gossiped as auctions happened. It had been a couple of weeks, very busy ones. Probably it was even more important than the arts gala on March. But for this special occasion you had rehearsed a lot to be an elegant black swan.
You smile at your own reflection at the mirror, the black tutu was gorgeous. The crown you had to use was very intriguing. And the black makeup made you feel very confident.
âI came as soon as I couldâ Clemensia suddenly opens the door of your dressing room. She looks agitated, but she looked amazing on a beige dress and her hair in half ponytail.
âYou look very prettyâ she thanks you.
âBut look at you. You are going to be amazing.â She sits and both start gossiping.
âYour father invited Coriolanus.â It makes you roll your eyes tired. But you are having a heartache.
âIâm⌠not sure if I donât feel anything about himâ Clemmie leaves her glass of champagne.
âThe newspaper rumour affected you. Right?â Slowly, you nod. Too embarrassed to look at her in the eye. But Coriolanus had been really good. He smiled at you at any chance he could. Something he would join you and your friends and he was fun, you had to bite your tongue to avoid giggling. And Clemensia had seen it too.
âI canât blame you. I was there since the beginningâŚâ your friend had seen the courting, the first awkward hand holding, how you two formed a strong connection. And Coriolanus left you at the hospital.
âYou two had a beautiful bond. And he broke it. But that doesnât mean you canât miss himâ Clemmie goes to hug you.
âPaâ said to keep playing with him, to ignore him. But Iâm tired, I just want to healâ she nods, letting you hide your face on her shoulder.
âYou want my advice?â You nod.
âDo not force anything. Be polite to him, but avoid giving him any chance yet. As you heal, youâlo find the answer; if you should let him have another chance or notâ
A man knocks. When Clemensia opens the door, he receives a bouquet of white roses.
You could recognize those roses anywhere. You get closer, taking the attached note.
Grandmaâam and Tigris didnât know what flowers to cut.
Good luck.
You try to hide your smile. But itâs impossible.
âŚ
The whole place is full. Coriolanus takes a seat with Tigris besides.
âI talked with her yesterday. She said she was very nervous about this oneâ Tigris says. Coriolanus knows sheâs talking about you.
âSheâs always perfect, she shouldnât feel nervous.â His mind was only thinking about Jan. He did his research. And learned he was a former dancer of your motherâs institution. It made him mad.
âHave you thought about inviting her to have dinner?â Coriolanus shakes his head.
âNot yet, I havenât talked enough to herâ
âWell, hurry up. Grandmaâam wanted to see you married by the age of 20â she says laughing. But it doesnât make Coriolanus smile.
âOh look, itâs startingâ Tigris squealed with excitement. The curtains lifted and the show started.
For the first twenty minutes, heâs so bored. Nothing exciting happens. He thinks the white swan is boring. And for the first time, he meets Jan. It makes him feel jealous.
It only worsened when you appeared on stage. Your black attire makes him go mad. He had never seen you in anything like that. He gets very invested in your scenes. He feels the emotion you are trying to project. Sassy, cheeky and attractive. You succeed to him.
Unfortunely, Jan had to appear too. And Coriolanus has to sigh, dealing with the scene of the man holding you to make you gracefully spin. The music doesnât help, it holds the sense of you and Jan dancing together. Coriolanus knows dancing has a lot to do with acting. But he doesnât enjoy the looks of lust and desire between you and your partner. The worst part? He had to seat and watch it for at least fifteen minutes.
His head malfunctions. But he already is telling Tigris he needs to the restroom.
Itâs a lie. He goes to the dressing rooms. And his luck was so big that he found the one with the name of Jan. He slowly made his way inside. The place was so old that he didnât need to check for security or anything, but he wanted to make sure nobody would see him in real time.
He wasnât sure what he wanted to accomplish, but surely he wanted to get rid of the man who apparently had your attention now. Your mother had said you and Jan worked very well. And now, with him seeing the performance, he was more than sure he couldnât let it move forward.
His hand went to his pocket, and his eyes widened. He felt the little glass tubes of narcotics. The same he used to kill Casca Highbottom.
He thought about it just for a little. Was it worth it? Getting rid of a man just to have easier access to you.
Maybe.
Then he questioned how bad he wanted you back. Coriolanus had missed you since day one. He knew he would never love anyone else. He knew no one would treat him as you once did.
So he poured the liquid from one of the tubes inside the water flask resting on the vanity. And before leaving, Coriolanus slipped two more tubes inside the bag that contained Janâs clothes.
âYou took very long at the restroomâ Tigris tells her cousin when he came back.
âThere was a long lineâ
âŚ
This time, is different. You smile and you can hear the big round of applauses as you make reverence to go off from stage. You were the last one and the curtains came down finally.
Once you are free, you have all the time in the world to breathe. Other dancers and production staff members congratulate you. But itâs Coriolanus Snow the one who makes you frown confused. He was backstage, looking at you with a soft smile. His classic black suit makes you go back and remember about the Reaping ceremony. How happy that day initiated, and how bad it turned out.
âCoriolanus.â You greet him, he can see a tiny smile on your face.
âYou were amazing. As usual, of courseâ
âThank you. And for the flowers, they were gorgeous. As usual, of courseâ heâs so surprised that you were talking to him with some humor sense. Both of you laugh and it feels⌠warm, and natural.
âItâs nothing. But.. perhaps we could just sit together at dinner?â Your cheeks warmth. You think about your confusing feelings, what your father and Clemensia respectively said. Sitting with him once wouldnât be the end of the world.
âYeah, we could.â He smiles, and even when his hair changed, his deeper voice. For some seconds you can see the boy you once loved.
And he almost feels like he was seventeen again. Watching you dance backstage, ready to greet you with a kiss. He sees the girl who helped him so much. And he just know all the horrible things heâd done were worth it.
âI-âŚâ but his words stay lingering in the air. Both of you hear a female scream. Coriolanus and you exchange looks before starting to walk where the sound was heard. In the corridor of the dressing rooms you see a woman lingering to an open door. Immediately you recognize itâs Janâs room. You quickly make it there, through the pain of your caged foot inside the pointe shoe. Coriolanus goes behind you, already sensing the scene inside.
He hears you gasp in shock, covering your mouth and tears forming on your eyes.
You are in shock, you sob, unable to blink.
Jan is on the floor, pale and blood on his mouth. Heâs dead.
And as much as the scene shocks you, you are trained to entertain the Capitol, so you turn to them random woman.
âGo and find Millie. Tell her about this and do keep your mouth shut. Nobody can know beside my parents. Understood?â You indicate the woman with a broken voice. She nods in horror dissapearing through the corridor. When she leaves you can finally cry.
When you donât know what else to do, you are holding onto Coriolanus Snow. You find comfort on his chest. And he immediately holds you back.
As much as you hate to admit it, you feel you are home in his arms.
With one hand, he closes the door of the dressing room and returns to completely be there to hug you. He smiles, knowing heâs already slowly winning.
Because when your parents find out what happened, they make you put a cute black and green velvet gown with crystals. They make you pretend nothing happened and you sit with Coriolanus and Tigris. Ignoring the upcoming rumors, and certainly not respecting the sudden death of Jan.
âŚ
Two days later, Coriolanus finds you seating on a bench. You are eating a sandwich, looking lost. He takes a seat beside you.
âIâm sorry about Jan. It happened so suddenlyâ he doesnât feel sorry. Opposite of what he felt about Sejanus and Lucy Gray. However, he firmly believes it was the only way.
âHe was a wonderful man. A devoted dancer, with principales. He had a wife in District 3.â Coriolanus coughs. He wasnât expecting that. Something twisted inside him, but he still didnât regret or feel sorry.
âHe didnât seem the type to use narcoticsâŚhe mustâve been very stressed outâ you add. Oblivious that you are talking with Janâs murderer.
âAre you sure you are okay?â You roll your eyes sighing.
âNo. Iâm not okay, Coriolanus. Not since that cursed Reaping ceremony dayâ
âIâm just trying to be here for youâ he admits, and itâs your breaking point.
âWHY DO YOU CARE NOW? YOU FAILED ME WHEN I MOST NEEDED YOU!â He looks around to see if anyone was around. But the place is empty.
âI know I committed many errors but-â
âBUT NOTHING, CORIOLANUS.â You spit out with such anger, that makes him frown.
âYou violated the trust, loyalty, respect and love we had for each other. You dissapear after making me have a damn breakdown. Only to go after that nobody girl. And now you appear trying to mend things?â You wonât tell him about his denied petition and what you did. You just want to share all you couldnât before at his face.
âDo you know how many doctor appointments Iâve had since you left?â He looks down.
âTwelve. And I have to swallow four different pills every day. Only to stay sane. And whoâs fault it is? The hunger games, the galas, dancing, Lucy Gray Baird. But specially, youâ when he looks up at you again, you are crying.
âIf you really want to be here for me, you need to stay away and leave me alone.â You finall state, looking at his blue eyes one last time, before standing from the bench and walking away.
That wasnât your day. Neither the following ones. Your pointe shoes died and your size was out of stock. The food took such a long time. Your parents left to have an audience in District 1 and your evening was to listen to music and cry.
But certainly what broke you once again was a phone call.
âHello?â You answer.
âY/n?â
âTigris?â You ask. Her voice sounding worried.
âYes, itâs me.â
âIs everything okay? You sound alarmed, dearâ you are able to hear her sighing.
âItâs Grandmaâam. Sheâs sick. Coriolanus is busy at the Univeristy and the doctor I requested hasnât appearedâ your heart beats faster.
âShe has a strong fever and itâs been like that for hours.â She adds, finally sounding more worried.
âTigris, calm down. Iâll call my cousin, heâs one of the most prepared doctors around. Iâm going there with you in the meantimeâ you reassure her, already taking off your nightgown and taking out a dress and coat from your closet.
âThank you, y/n. I truly appreciate this, thanks you.â You hang up after saying everything was going to be okay.
âŚ
You see how changed is the penthouse. Fully renovated, with bright lights that contrasted the dark blue wallpapers. But you find interesting how the olive paint you brought is still there. And your portrait from the day of your eighteen birthday is still with the family pictures.
You wait outside the room of the elder woman, as your cousin is checking Grandmaâam. You have to hold the urge from biting your nails. A maid offers you posca, but you canât think about drinking at the time.
The front doors opens and seconds later, Coriolanus is there. He seems surprised to see you there. Since the day of your argument, he hadnât see you. He tried calling you but your butler said you were out for the weekend to your grandparents house.
âY/n?â He asks, dropping his coat on a chair.
âTigris called me. She wanted a doctor for your grandmotherâ he worried a bit.
âIs she not feeling better. When I left she seemed betterâŚâ he says hurrying to go to her room, but you stop him, grabbing by his forearm.
âDonât. My cousin is already there with her. Iâm waiting for the resultsâ Coriolanus only stares at you. He wants to smile. You came only to help his family once again.
âYou look very lovelyâ you smirk, looking at his window with your arms crossed.
âReally? Your grandmother is sick and you are here saying how lovely I look today?â He smiles.
âYou told me to wait. What else can I do?â
âHow cynical of youâ you respond coldly. After all you told him, he was acting like it never happened.
The door of the room opened and Tigris came out with your cousin.
He revealed Grandmaâam was having a little difficulties in her lungs, which made her prone to catch a flu. He gave her some strong medicines and promised it would be fine with some days of resting.
After some minutes, you are also ready to leave.
You say good night to the Snow cousins and leave.
âY/n. WaitâŚâ Tigris comes out. Stopping you some feet away of the now working elevator.
âI-⌠Thank you.â She slowly says hugging you.
âItâs nothing, Tigris. I told Coriolanus once I would always help the people I loveâ Tigris suddenly feels so sad to hear you say that. She really hoped you and her little cousin had a different ending.
âHe still loves you so much.â You fight harder against the tears when she says that.
âI know. And I still love him too. But⌠he never apologized. And Iâm not ready to let go my resentment towards him.â You admit looking away.
âAlthough things didât work out for you and Coriolanus, I really appreciate and care for you, y/nâ se almost whispers in your ear. And your eyes water.
âI feel the same, Tigris. I really doâ you reply slowly, controlling your voice to not sound cracked.
âIâll come back in some daysâ she nods.
She lets you go and you finally head out. Not noticing that Coriolanus heard everything.
He never apologized.
That night, you are reading on the living room when your butler walks in.
âCoriolanus Snow is asking for you in the telephoneâ you thank him, walking bare feet towards the kitchen telephone.
âYes, Mr. Snow?â You ask.
âI just wanted to thank you for coming today. You didnât have to and yet you appeared hereâ you sigh.
âWhatever that happened between us has nothing to do with my relationship with Tigris and your motherâ now he sighs, from his office, in complete darkness.
âAbout that y/nâŚâ your hands go numb, and panic floods you.
âYou donât know how much Iâm-â
âI know.â You interrupt him, cracked voice and you hang up.
âSorryâ he says through the dead line.
That night, you read his letters. The ones he sent when he was a peacekeeper at the 12. Where he seemed to have projected his more vulnerable and emotional side of his heart. Maybe he had been drunk, maybe Lucy Gray wrote them for him. Youâd never know, and you preferred to ignore the idea of him actually feeling sorry.
âŚ
A week later youâre applauding for Grandmaâam as she sings for you. You smile, changing her pillow case and complementing how much of a sweet voice she had.
Itâs getting late, and you must return to your house.
After wishing Grandmaâam sweet dreams, you carefully close her door and you walk with the old pillow case away.
âAre you staying for dinner?â Tigris asks with a sweet smile, taking the pillow case from you. Coriolanus is seated, drinking something as he carefully looks at you. You ignore him.
âI must decline, dear. I have to go back and pack some thingsâ she frowns, stopping to put some places on the dinning table.
âPack?â
âYes. I think Iâll spend the holidays at District 1. My mother is opening a new studio and sheâs going to need help. And well, if everything goes right, I might even stay thereâ Tigris almost drops the pillow case. And Coriolanus almost chokes on his drink.
âWhat? Why?. What about university? The galas? Your production job for the hunger gamesâ you shrug with an honest smile.
âLately the Capitol life has... it has been a burden. I want to live a peaceful life. I want to healâ Tigris sends daggers with her eyes to Coriolanus. He coughs, uncomfortable.
âCORIOLANUS!â Grandmaâam calls the man. And slowly, he stands up to to the woman. He hears you stay talking with Tigris. And he wants to do something to stop you from leaving. Now he can give you the life he couldnât before.
âIs everything alright, Grandmaâam?â The elder woman looks at him from her bed.
âAre you really letting that young woman to walk away again?â Coriolanus frowns.
âWhat?â
âYouâve heard me.â Even in her sick days, she was firm.
âShe doesnât want anything to do with me anymoreâ Grandmaâam shrugs.
âI donât think so. Her eyes shine sadly at every mention of you. She was part of the family after all.â Coriolanus remains quiet. But he admits to himself thatâs what he missed the most.
âI think she always waited for an apology. One that never came.â His heart pounds very fast. He tried, and you hung up.
âWhat do you suggest me to do?â Grandmaâam smiles, coughing tiredly.
âYou run to wherever she goes and beg on your knees. One time you show her vulnerability and youâll never do it againâ
âYou already won the money and respect. Youâre just missing out the girlâ Coriolanus sweats, but when he turns to look at her grandmother again, she nods, reassuring him.
âGo. Get her back, Coriolanusâ without saying anything back, he leaves.
When he enters the dinning room, he only sees two plates of food. He looks at Tigris confused.
âWhereâs y/n?â She shrugs, taking a seat.
âShe just left.â
Coriolanus runs. He actually runs out of his penthouse and when the elevator starts taking to much time, he decided to choose the stairs as his getaway. He feels sweaty and agitated, but as he goes down, he canât help but feel slightly happy, the adrenaline of making it on time make him hurry.
âY/N!â He yells your name once he makes it to the lobby, where he can see you turning back to see him.
You are waiting for Trevor when he appears running towards you.
And before you can even blink or breathe, he gets on his knees.
âCoriolanus Snow. What are you doing?â You ask confused and blushed.
âIâm sorry.â He says.
âIâm sorry about all the stupid things I did. Iâm sorry about letting you down. Iâm sorry for ruining our relationship. For letting you in that hospital bed and return to do everyhting but apologize to youâ you look at him perplexed, not believing his words.
âI canât lose you again. Because I know youâre the last person Iâll love. I wonât trust anyone else. And nobody would have ever looked down at me like you did when I had nothingâ you sigh, feeling the tears coming again. You know heâs not lying. You knew him so well that you sense it.
âIf you let me. To give me another chance. Iâll do things right. I will never fail you again in life. Youâll be the only person Iâll cherish and show love.â He offers you his hand, and he looks very suppliant.
You blink quickly to soothe the tears. And you know he doesnt deserve you. But arenât the best person, so maybe you two were actually meant to be together.and thatâs the only viable reason to why you want to let your heart freely beat for him again.
âPlease donât go, y/nâ he whispers, waiting for your answer. You sigh, slowly and shaking, but you end up taking his hand.
âYouâll better be the most perfect lover of the history of Panem, thenâ he wraps your fingers together, and stands up.
âI promise, I swearâ he knows the memory of Lucy Gray would always follow him. As well of all the deaths he had caused. But nothing compared to the joy of him kissing you again.
Your lips welcome him in the most sweet way. And he finds himself smiling through the kiss, gently holding you closer to him.
Itâs in the start of the Road of Hope in the Capitol where Coriolanus Snow had his fully owned penthouse. Where he had nothing, and now had won everything.
âŚ
Time flies, things had changed, probably for the better. You made Coriolanus keep fighting for a good and healthy relationship. Slowly, he made you completely fall in love again. And although there was certain spark missing, you knew it would never come back. However, you had also accepted that both of you had grown up.
The late talks were mature now. Talking about the future of Panem, planning dinners together. The kisses were more passionate, unlike the softness that was all over your early relationship. The sex was harder rather than slow and sweet like the beginning. Coriolanus would like to leave many hickeys scattered across your body, make a wet mess of saliva and fluids. He loved feelings your almond nails leave gentle scratches across his pale back.
But certainly, the biggest change was the way you two were handling a life together.
After turning twenty, you got married. Soon Coriolanus bought the house he always wished to give you. The one with black and white tiles floor, beige walls and big stairs.
By the first week in, he had done many refurbishments and he had fucked you in every room, every corner and every surface of the house.
Till the day you turned twenty-two. By that time, you had almost ditched your dancing career. Sometimes you still had some chances to perform on galas. But Coriolanus convinced you to focus on public services and the production of the hunger games. Dr. Gaul had officially retired, and it was going to be the first year of Coriolanus as a game maker. Things had really changed.
But everything seemed fine.
âDear, Are you ready?â You turn to look at your husband, who waits on the frame of the door.
âJust one momentâ you run to slip into your silver heels before grabbing your purse.
Trevor kept his job as your chauffeur and Millie was now your private secretary. Sometimes you hated how formal your life had become. Especially now that Coriolanus had some plans in mind.
As soon as you arrive to the fancy patio from a million-dollar man house, many women eye you and Coriolanus.
âRemind me what are we doing here?â You ask him. He holds your hand tightly, smiling at many of the invited people.
âIâm assuming the role of game maker. You are giving a speech about the improvements for the 14th Hunger Games, my dearâ you nod, clutching onto his cold hand harder. Both of you were kind of the sensation around the Capitol. You know how they whisper about your dress and your husbandâs physic.
âYouâre going to be fine. You always choose the right words. And your voice can charm anyone hereâ he whispers on your ear, pressing a soft kiss on your temple.
âThank goddess Iâve been studying the constitution. Or else these men would bury meâ Coriolanus laughs. Soon you enter the actual event. With long white tables, candles and everyone dressed either on red or black.
âMen around here donât know how smart my wife isâ he says shrugging, remembering how many honors you received from university. Some of the wives ask you to join them. You wave hello to them before leaning to your man.
âDo not make me jealous or leave me alone during the speech.â You firmly say to him.
âOf course not, my loveâ
âLove you.â And with one last kiss, you walk away.
For the rest of the night. You feel uneasy. Because you succeeded with the speech. But once you read the part from Coriolanus, you are at the verge of babbling.
He shared some of his initial proposals for the games. Like lowering the age of the tributes, increasing the obstacles in the arena, using more mutts, allowing weapons, and making the interviews with Lucky Flickerman longer.
It had been a long time since you think about the games so much. But that guilt you felt after seeing Coriolanus as mentor, never left. And after that dinner, everyone claps for your husband and you, after being considered as the couple of the next generation for Panem.
In the privacy of your new home, you constantly zone out to think about it. You canât ask Coriolanus to stop the games, but he could make some changes.
You knock swiftly on his door.
âCome in.â You walk in and he drops the papers he was signing to smile at the sight of you.
âHello, you.â he says cheekily.
âHello, youâ.â You reply. He indicates you to seat on his lap and you do so. His arms lock around you, hands resting on your back.
âAre you coming to bed anytime soon?â You ask.
âI just need to sign some things, darlingâ he watches you frown, and he wonât say you look older, because you donât. But you certainly look wiser, mature and more like a woman rather than a girl.
âIâve been thinking about the gamesâ Heâs all ears now. He knows you had some specific opinions. You had said in your first interview how brutal the games were.
âWhat about them?â
âI would never ask you to stop the games. ButâŚâ you stop, suddenly feeling a little nervous.
âBut what, my dear?â
âDonât you think those tributes are humans? Yes, the Districts deserve to be reminded of the consequences of their acts. But most of the tributes are kids. Who donât even understand everything that conveys a war.â Coriolanus sighs, trying to choose the correct words to answer you.
âWhat are you suggesting?â He tries to sound calm, but the mere subject makes him a little irritated.
âI donât know⌠Maybe giving them more opportunities?â He giggles, caressing the skin on your hips.
âGiving them opportunities means going soft on them. And going soft on them could trigger a new rebellionâ this time you sigh, trying to persuade him by brushing his hair, softly grasping his chin.
âNot like that, Coryo. I mean⌠raising the majority age of the tributes. Giving them at least the chance to train. To eat a proper meal on the last night. To show who they are one last time before theyâre sent to dieâ Coriolanus would always believe that youâre only one weakness was your humanity. How you always turned to see down on others, feeling guilty from being born with all the commodities.
So, he tries to ignore it. He tries to see your suggestions as a way to punish the tributes harder. Give them everything to then killing them.
So, he smiles, urging you to kiss him. You reply immediately, holding him closer to feel the heated proximity.
âI could arrange some changes. Would that make you feel better?â You nod on his lips, smiling.
âNow let me finish this before meeting you in bed. And I expect you have this thing off before I get thereâ he says grabbing your nightgown. You laugh with a potent blush, gently pushing him away.
âDonât be silly.â
âIâm not being silly. In two days, we start the tour, we will be very tired to make love daily as we do nowâ you roll your eyes, almost running away ad your husband laughs, making fun of your embarrassment.
âThis is madness. Iâm going to bedâ you say getting out of his office.
âDonât forget about what I said!â He yells, making you smile in love as you leave upstairs, wishing good night to the maids and butler. For the record, you do not forget about your husbandâs petition.
âŚ
The best part of the house is the rooftop in your opinion. A terrace with cristal walls and ceilings that had a gorgeous view of the Capitol. A view that included some monuments and the snowy mountains surrounding the city.
You had a little bar there, an eccentric dining table and some couches with colorful cushions.
Grandmaâam made you take some of his roses so you could start your own garden. That brought tears to your eyes. But now, it was only you and Tigris there.
You asked the chef to make some vegetables and creams as your sister-in-law arrived for dinner. Coriolanus and you were set to leave the next morning for his political campaign tour.
âHave you packed everything?â Tigris asks.
âYes. I wish I could take Trevor with me. But only Millie will be able to comeâ you say smiling. Tigris notices how you constantly look at the door, hoping to see Coriolanus entering.
âHave you told him?â You shake your head at the woman.
âNot yet. Probably by the time we arrive District 4. We have good memories from thereâ Tigris smiles. She was really excited when you got back together with Coriolanus. She even made your wedding dress. And now she was so proud of the career you two were making.
âSorry for the delay. I was arguing with some incompetent who cancelled the delivery of our new chandeliersâ Tigris rolls her eyes as your husband cheekily smiles.
âDinner isnât ready yet anywaysâ you say patting his back as he takes a seat beside you.
âYou shouldnât be stressing over the tour. Your dear wife mustâve prepared the most wonderful speeches for you to sayâ Coriolanus smiles, turning to give you a peck on the nose, making you laugh.
âItâs not that, Tigris. Itâs the time thatâs freaking me out. I donât want to be gone for almost two months.â You sigh, trying to keep everything together. You just pray that the tour goes smoothly.
âEach district will host you with all commoditiesâ itâs a lie. Coriolanus isnât ready to go to District 12 again. Where his father died, where he committed the worst decisions of his early life. He knows those days will be a little sour. But heâs willing to play pretend very well for you.
âItâs going to be fine. Pardon me, dartâ Coriolanus says after seeing your face of over thinking. His wife is so smart that sheâs probably wondering the same as him. And thatâs the least he needs of.
You take his hand, before hearing the food has arrived. The air changes, the dinner flows happily as you talk and gossip with Tigris and your husband. Itâs a great dinner actually.
Maybe he broke your heart when you were teenagers. But you delayed his political campaign for four years. Maybe he had looked too much at Lucy Gray Baird, but at the end it would only be you.
You couldâve done better to get rid of that guilt for participating in the hunger games, but you just realize that maybe you didnât because you are not a good person either.
Even so, every morning, you wake up in his arms as he fulfilled his promise of never failing you again.
You just hope that the tour, the upcoming games and everything else doesnât get into your way. Nothing can be a bother. Not when Coriolanus Snowâs first child rests peacefully in your womb.
The future was uncertain. But your past and present along him always seemed like⌠a hatred road.
_____________________________________________
fyi, in my head, if reader hadnât delayed Coriolanus political emergence, the second rebellion wouldâve started earlier and probably it wouldnât have been successful. (Basically it wouldâve been like a second time âdark daysâ situation and then back to reconstruction again)
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Going to be thirsty here for a moment-. But rereading Breg's fics made me wonder how he would be if Roomie started training herself to be able to take both of his dicks in one hole. Just to let him inside and hammer away. Like, please, sir, break me. đ¤˛đĽş
[Love when people come here like "I hope I'm not being too thirsty". Fem reader. Ignoring anatomy for this because hhhnn-]
TW: Double penetration; Slight dubcon moment.
" Listen to me Breg. "
You start, and even if you're currently beneath the breeder on the bed, you still sound like a drill sergeant. Mostly because you have to, Breg's not to be trusted when he's excited.
" I've been working up to this for a long while- "
" I know! " He interrupts, the bottom of his face still covered in drool and slick when he dove between your legs after you were done with the stretching exercises.
Breg hates that you had to use toys to size yourself up for this, but the promise that you were doing it so you could welcome both of his members made him slightly more tolerant of it. Didn't change the fact that the breeder would often sit and watch, whining in jealousy of whatever you were stuffing yourself with.
" I'll be really careful! I'll be nice- I promise angel! "
His babbling is a waste of slaver, the monster isn't even looking at you, eyeless gaze perched entirely on the sight of your inviting pussy and the way both of his cocks frame it. The breeder looks like he's thrilling himself with the show, making a horny little noise of appreciation and biting at his lower lip. It's as if he's already envisioning himself deep inside you, not having to squeeze one of his cocks between you two. It's been a fantasy of his for a long time, even you have to admit that it's... Exciting to think about.
Now though, you need Breg to focus, so you grab the sides of his head and bring it closer to yours. " I mean it, listen to me. "
His happiness is infectious, you have to turn away to hide the smile tugging at your lips when Breg simply dips to place kisses all over your face, hearing that long tail sway and swat around.
" Breg! " Mercifully, he stops. " You have to pay attention to what you're doing when you start okay? If we do this wrong, it could hurt me a lot. "
" Yes. " He rushes. " Yes, okay. "
"Good. " With a pant, you spread your legs just a tad further, figuring you couldn't possibly be in a more comfortable positions for this, especially with the support pillows helping to angle you. " Now straighten up a bit, I need to see what I'm doing. "
When the breeder does, you note the way his breathing is already sped up, how feverish he's already become. It's impressive how Breg always manages to make you feel so hot, even when you think you look like a fresh mess. Gently, you reach down to grab both of his dicks, keeping them together as much as you can, and he helps the process by scooting forward to line up against your pussy.
Feeling both tips park there is enough to get you to blow a tense exhale, knowing it's going to be a stretch and a half. In sharp contrast, Breg moans like he's in heat, looking as if his self-control is hanging by a very thin thread currently peeling itself apart.
Some hesitant seconds pass.
" Please angel- Please! I want this so bad. It's going to feel so good, let me fuck you, please! " White claws rub at your thighs comfortingly while he pleads, tail thumping impatiently on the mattress behind him. And curse him, because the breeder's shameless imploring always rises a fire in you that's hard to put out.
" I- I want you to push slowly, okay? " You caution, hold still firm on him, your spare arm clutching the sheets.
" Uhuh! "
True to his word, Breg is careful, torturously edging his cocks forward. The lube helps immeasurably, and pretty soon, both heads pop inside, making you hiss and gasp, immediately clenching at the intrusion. Massive. Fucking massive, holy shit. A wave of warmth courses through you as a pleasant shiver moments later.
" Hhn- Ohh... " He's drooling. Like actually drooling on you. " Hahh. " You can tell by the visible flexing of his legs that the only thing Breg wants to do is buck and hammer the rest of himself in, but with an almost pained grunt, he just sits there statically so the two of you can catch your breaths.
" Good- Very good. " You praise his surprising discipline. " Just keep going like that. "
He makes what you think was an affirmative "Mmn" noise and lolls his tongue out when the next couple of inches are softly rolled into you. It's insanely filling on its own, your thighs squirm and you're not sure if you want to edge away from this or even closer. Breg's instincts kick in and he holds your hips down sternly, slowly sinking more of himself in and making deep, pleased moans that wash against you like waves.
" Ngh- Deep- Slow down, give me a second. " It's stealing the breath out of you.
It takes a couple of moments before Breg's brain registers the command, but he eventually pauses with half of his cocks buried in you. He physically has to tear his gaze off the sight of you stretched around him, chest heaving as he curves to blanket you.
" You're so tight, fffuck you always are but this- " He sighs shakily over your ear, and instead of calming down enough to relax, you only tense and squeeze around him harder, making the breeder growl and whine. " Mmnph-! If you keep doing that I won't hold it, angel. Please, can I put the rest in, please? "
One of these days his begging is going to burst a blood vessel of yours. Or maybe it's the way you feel so bloated already.
" O- Okay, but then you need to let me catch up, okay? "
" Mmmf- " You think he growled there for a second. " Yes! Thank you! "
You expected him to push in slowly the same way he did up until now, though you should frankly know better by now... Breg pulls away in a preparatory motion that should have given it all away, then slams home with a force you have no words to describe.
Your stomach bounces and your lungs knock into your throat, eyeballs jostled in their sockets from the strength of his wild horse piston into your cunt. The disgraceful wet noise that echoed in your bedroom doesn't help in keeping yourself grounded. Although you didn't have enough air in your body to do much more than choke and convulse at the intrusion, the breeder makes more than enough noise for the two of you, howling in delight at the way your poor walls all but crush him in an attempt to adapt to the brute size just forced into them. You can feel him perfectly hilted into you, cockheads kissing as deep into you as they possibly can. It's an indescribable fullness that has the two of you stunted.
" Oh gods fffuck- Hahhn I'm all in. " He mumbles amidst desperate noises. " Mmn feels so good so good- I knew it'd be perfect- Love you angel. "
Both lengths throb inside you. You couldn't respond even if you wanted to.
Although you can very well sense Breg trying to rock against you minutely, he keeps his promise, studying your overwhelmed features and giving you time to welcome him properly. There's some pain, you won't lie, but it's slowly ebbing into something forgettable. The pale monster's sweet cooing and trilling help steady you as he licks your throat and lets his teeth deform slightly to place a loving bite on your shoulder.
Eventually, the breeder shifts and looks down at where the two of you are joined, finding imprints of his lengths in you. His grin is so wide and self-satisfied it looks borderline manic. A large hand comes to palp at the bump in your lower abdomen, but the sensation causes your legs to twitch and you bat his arm away.
Breg whines, a trail of drool slipping down his chin to drip onto your skin. " Can- Can I start? "
Your eyes widen a little, though you nod and take a deep breath. " G-Gentle. "
And that's all it takes.
The monster admittedly has a bit of trouble moving at first, the drag of his cocks inside you bordering on painful until fireworks start firing in your brain from all the spots he has no choice but to stimulate with every minuscule motion. The first moan you let out, throaty and helpless, makes him shiver. Wetness gradually builds, helping along with what's left of the lube, and pretty soon Breg's huffing with every thrust, making noises that almost concern you and visibly sweating. You know he's doing his best to behave right now, and you appreciate it, because both at once is... An experience.
" Ah- Ghn so full- " You choke when he fills you out again, causing the breeder to wag his tail slightly and respond with shorter, faster bursts of movement.
" Does it feel good? " He pants.
" Y- Yeah. " Putting it lightly. Your breath hitches and you cling to his arms for support, unable to help the fluttering of your pussy as you get used to this brand new size.
" Angel... " He begins, in a tone you already know means he's going to ask for something. " Hhn- I know you said gentle but... "
He bucks his hips suddenly, the two of you crying out together, pleasure and shock.
" Breg! "
" B- But I know you like it rough! " He stresses. " You clamp around me so hard, it's so hot- " Your face burns. " Come on... Just this time? "
It's not going to be "just this time", obviously.
When you don't say anything, the breeder hums and drapes over you again, legs readjusting so he can plunge somehow even deeper into you now. And with no hesitation, Breg starts well and truly railing into you.
" AH! HN- Breg?! "
You have to hold onto his neck and back, each desperate slam of his thighs on yours digging his softly barbed cocks so far up into your hole he jostles you forward. But you can't deny that it's making your eyes glaze in rabid animal pleasure, mouth opening and hips grinding back onto him as much as they can, the sloppy noise of his every slam filling you with a gross sense of glee.
You don't like to admit it, but you love being under Breg. It makes you feel small in a very arousing way, trapped under his strength, his smell, hearing how fast he breathes for you, how much his body strains to breed you stupid even if the effort is always pointless in the end. You like that he's always just as enthusiastic, that he always fucks you like it's the last time he's going to get to do it.
" S- See? " He groans, looking down at your flushed, probably disheveled face. " I know you like it- I can smell it. " And just to accentuate the point, there's a snort-like sniff when he dips his head into the crook of your neck, rising goosebumps everywhere. " Gghn- I'm- I'm not going to last too long... "
That startles you a little. Breg's always had surprising stamina. Sure, the first time he penetrated you was a bit short, but he had never been with a human before. Still, this puts an incredulous smile on your face. " R- Really? "
" Yeah- " His words melt into slurred moans, previously speedy motions now interspersed by hard grinds that have your eyes rolling slightly. " 'M sorry, you're so good- Sorry. "
" It's- It's fine. " It's hotter than it should be.
" My mate is so perfect- " He growls in-between sharp, jutting thrusts. " So nice to me- " The whimper on the edge of his voice is more than a good tell of how close he is. " I'm so lucky I get to ahhn- Put both in! "
Even if he doesn't recognize it, Breg has a penchant for this very specific type of dirty talk that makes your brain pop and crackle in a hormone-fueled static, and before you can even beg him to fill you with cum, he fucks into your stretched cunt with three dizzying pistons before flexing and coming so hard you can feel it shoot into crevices you didn't even know you had.
It's too much for such a small space, coating both you and him before it has no choice but to squeeze out of you in depraved spurts. Even if you wanted to hear Breg's rattle of ecstasy, you were too lost in your own orgasm to do so, making something akin to a desperate, sobbing mewl at the overload of sensations.
When you can focus minimally, the breeder is planting amorous kisses everywhere on your upper body, still buried hot and wet inside you. His whole face is flushed blue and he's never looked giddier, shuddering as another glob of seed escapes around his still hard cocks.
" Thank you so much, angel. I loved it! "
Oh, you can tell. " ... Don't mention it. "
Breg chirps. " Tell me when you're ready to go again. "
Why are you even surprised...
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Hiii congrats on 1k followers!! I've really liked your writing for a while, it's so lovely to read <3 I hope you don't mind me requesting something, if it's okay :D
What if the reader also has a tsum? Then their tsum and the tsum of the person they like keep giving signs that they like each other, like for example Riddle tsum is very affectionate to the reader, but they don't want to admit it and get flustered. If that's okay, can I request that with Riddle, Azul, Jamil, and Silver?
COMMENTS: Hi! Thank you. I'm so glad you enjoy it. đ
I really liked your idea a lot. I was even excited to write it. I know that on the Japanese server there was already a second event with Azultsum, but I didn't see anything about the story, I only read the vignette of Azul's card to have an idea of what to write. I still have a little difficulty writing for Silver, but I try my best to understand him.
I hope you and all enjoy it đŠľ
CHARACTERS: Riddle Rosehearts; Azul Ashengrotto; Jamil Viper & Silver
TAGS: Fluff; GN Reader
WORD COUNT: An average of 450 words per character.
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With your Tsum in your arms, you find Ace and Deuce, leaning over with their hands on their knees as if they were catching their breath after a run. They look at you first, but quickly the cute little creature you hold in your arms catches their attention. They both have that look on their faces like they think it's the cutest and most beautiful little thing in the world but don't want to admit it.
They say that Riddle also has one of those and he was the one they were chasing and trying to catch, but they lost it. The moment they said Riddleâs name, you felt your Tsum move enthusiastically for a moment.
They hear something, when they look they see Riddletsum in the distance and run towards it, starting the chase again. Your Tsum jumps out of your arms and runs with them, which makes you run after them too.
Your Tsum passes Ace and Deuce, which surprises them because they were so fast, and throws itself at Riddletsum, rolling together for a few seconds until they both stop. When this happened, Riddletsum didn't run away again, and the two were rubbing each other's cheeks happily.
Ace grabbed Riddletsum while it was distracted. It seemed upset about being caught. But the moment Deuce grabbed your Tsum, Riddletsum jumped out of Ace's arms, hits him in the face and threw itself right in Deuce's face to make him release your Tsum. Once back on the ground, Riddletsum positioned itself between your Tsum and those two. Glaring threateningly at Ace and Deuce.
You were the only one who could carry your Tsum without Riddletsum getting jealous. And after that, they would keep your two Tsums together to prevent Riddletsum from running away again or causing trouble. Or hurt someone else.
Whenever Riddle sees the Tsums being all lovey-dovey with each other, he will blush, and try to hide it. He won't comment on it unless you comment first. If you tell him they're cute, he'll shyly agree.
âYou know, they remind me of the hedgehogs in a way.â Riddle says âI can't deny that I think it's cute whenever I see them rubbing their noses against each other.â
And as soon as the Tsums hear him say that, they rub their little round noses against each other. Which makes Riddle blush even more.
If at any point you pick up Riddletsum, it will look at you with a huge sparkle in its eyes as if you were the most wonderful person he has ever seen in its life. And freeze looking at you.
You went to Mostro Lounge with your Tsum because you heard that Azul also had one, and you thought maybe you could help each other take care of them. Which in itself is already a deal. You help me, I help you.
Little did you know that the place was full of customers, and much more than usual. When you arrive at the entrance, there is a line of customers still waiting to enter. You comment to your Tsum that perhaps it would be better for you two to give up on the idea of meeting Azul, at least at that moment, he must be too busy.
Your Tsum starts struggling in your arms until it manages to escape them and run into the Mostro Lounge, passing by the feet of all those customers. You try to run after it, but a hand grabs you on your arm shortly after you pass the entrance.
âHEY! What do you think you're doing jumping the queue?â A Savanaclaw student asked you aggressively.
âProbably exercising their right as VIP customers.â Azul says, in that politely threatening way. âAnd I suggest you let them go if you don't want to be permanently kicked out of the Mostro Lounge.â The student let go of you. And Azul sees you rubbing the area where he had grabbed you, as if you had been hurt. âAn apology would also be polite.â The Savanaclaw student is reluctant out of pride. âYou know, I'm not a big fan of doing business with rude customers. And this clause is usually part of my contracts. It's a shame that a lot of people don't read them in full, you know.â Azul smirks.
The student suddenly looks worried, and apologizes to you and promises that it won't happen again.
Once this problem is resolved, Azul greets you with that charming smile of his and asks what he owes for your pleasant visit? Were you there to see Azul Tsum too? You answer yes and tell him about your Tsum and what happened.
And then you start to hear a different kind of commuting in one part of the cafĂŠ. In the middle of the "Aw"s, you also hear phrases like âDouble the cuteness.â and âThey look even cuter together.â
Azul and you try to get closer to the place that is receiving all the attention, but it appears to be moving. And towards the VIP room. You arrive at the VIP Room door and only see the door closing, as if someone had just entered. Azul opens the door and you go in with him.
You see your two Tsums on one of the sofas. When Azul Tsum realizes that it was you two who entered, it relaxes and starts to cuddle and snuggle with your Tsum as if spoiling it with love and care. Azul automatically blushes.
From then on, Azultsum won't let go of your Tsum! It practically forgot the customers and only had eyes and gifts for your Tsum. As if it were Azultsum's most valuable treasure.
If at any point you pick up Azultsum, it will first look at you with a big shine in its eyes and then it will come close to your face to caress you.
You went to Scarabia with your Tsum because you heard that Jamil also had one, and you thought maybe you could help each other take care of them. But you didn't know where exactly they were. At least not until you hear Kalim apologizing to someone and saying he wasn't going to do something.
You arrive at the lounge with your Tsum in your arms, and you see Kalim apologizing to Jamiltsum while Jamil enjoys the scene.
âNot even if it has half the animals?â Kalim asks. Jamiltsum jumps up and hits him on the arm. âAH! Fine, fine! No parades this week...â He looked a little disappointed but Jamil was smiling.
Some students who enjoyed Kalim's parades began to comment about being disappointed too. Jamiltsum turned towards them with a threatening aura, which scared them. However, it seemed more stressed than upset.
You feel your Tsum jump out of your arms and see it running towards them. It stops near them and makes a cute little noise as if it is greeting them and to get their attention. Jamil looks at your Tsum with a twinkle in his eyes, like someone who thinks it's cute in a way he doesn't want to admit. Now Kalim...
âOH Great Seven! It's a (Y/N)tsum!â He crouches down to get closer to your Tsum âYou're so cuteee! This definitely deserves a party!â POW! Jamiltsum throws itself at Kalim again, this time making him lose his balance and fall.
When it lands in front of your Tsum, it looks upset, but as soon as it looks at your Tsum, it freezes with amazement in its eyes. Your Tsum starts snuggling against it, and Jamiltsum reciprocated by cuddling it back.
A student comments that they look cute together, that they even seem in love with each other. Because of this, both Jamil and Jamiltsum blush. Jamil pulls his hood to hide his face, while Jamiltsum curls up, and your Tsum gets even closer to it, both because it thinks it's cute and to try to help it hide.
When your Tsum is around, Jamiltsum is more easily flattered. Jamiltsum won't let go of your Tsum either. Like Jamil it acts like a bodyguard, and that's exactly what it does with your Tsum. To the point where you start to doubt whether it's really Jamiltsum being overprotective or just jealous whenever someone approaches and starts saying how cute your Tsum is.
If at any point you pick up Jamiltsum, it will first look at you with a big shine in its eyes, but then itâs little face will get all red, and itâll curl up trying to hide it.
You were passing through the Courtyard with your Tsum in your arms, when you see a larger than normal amount of birds and squirrels in a particular tree. You get closer and see Silver sleeping against the tree with a Silvertsum in his arms, also sleeping.
You feel your Tsum moving and jumping out of your arms. It approaches them and climbs into Silver's lap to get closer to Silvertsum, which wakes Silver up. He looks at his lap and sees your Tsum looking at him and smiling with its eyes. He smiled, that rare sweet prince charming smile of his.
âHello little one. It's good to meet you.â He caressed your Tsum's cheek with his finger. âYou are as beautiful as (Y/N).â
You make noise through the grass and bushes as you approach them. Silver looks at you in surprise, and blushes slightly at the thought that you could have heard what he had just said. And meanwhile, your Tsum catches up with Silvertsum who jumps off Silver's lap because it woke up with a start.
Silvertsum landed in a defensive position and with a threatening expression, as if its first instinct was to assume its position as a guard during an attack. But soon after it sees your Tsum and has a serene expression again.
Your Tsum is the one who approaches first and starts cuddling with the other. Silvertsum quickly reciprocates with its eyes closed as if they were both smiling. The birdsong becomes louder around you, but it is still a beautiful song.
âThey seem to like each other a lot.â He comments, now with his usual neutral face. âDo you think it means something?â
You probably felt like doing a face palm, and the same seemed to have happened with your Tsum. It suddenly took a big jump into Silver's arms and climbed up to his face to caress his cheek. While Silvertsum remained serenely on the ground.
Silver chuckles and smile. âSo you like me too?â he asks your Tsum, who nods with it's little body.
And to your surprise, Silvertsum also jumps into your arms. It will try to get closer to your face but it won't move very far, as if it wanted your permission to move forward. If you push it close to your face it will rub its little nose against yours.
Be careful, because Silvertsum easily falls asleep in your arms as it is so comfortable in them.
If you dropped in here out of the blue and want to read more from me, you can find it in my pinned post: INDEX
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