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#but child development is a subject i KNOW
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I was not able to find the source for this pic! If you know about it, please let me know in the comments or via direct! Thank you!
Religious trauma in Good Omens: Aziraphale's case
We talk about religious trauma and the state of constant psychological abuse and manipulation experienced by those who suffer it, using Aziraphale as an example.
DISCLAIMER
This post is about painful experiences and the different ways you can react to them. This may affect you in particular and be difficult or stressful to deal with.
Here I intend to speak to you about the trauma of Aziraphale. I use the singular not because it is a single event, but because it is a very specific type of trauma to which ours has been subjected continuously since the beginning of time: religious trauma.
WHAT IS RELIGIOUS TRAUMA
Religious trauma is a complex type of trauma that usually has its greatest impact during the period of development: a person grows up in a social context that is regulated according to the dictates of any sect, which greatly influences the way they approach reality and, above all, themselves.
Often, this trauma begins to affect the existence of the victim even before they begin to speak and thus have the capacity to articulate the memories associated with it. It is not necessarily this trauma that is marked by significant events: very often it is its impact on everyday life that literally conditions the people who experience it, placing them on a well-trodden path of conventions and moral imperatives from which they must not deviate.
We are all (obviously, given the fandom) familiar with the concept of original sin. When a person is brought up with the view that we are all born sinners because we have literally inherited that sin and must spend our lives making amends for what is in our nature, several things happen:
_we live with a constant sense of shame and fear of not making it, of not being enough; _we blindly trust those who raise us and show us the way, and we may not want to see the inherent hypocrisies and contradictions because that would bring us into conflict with reality; _as a result, we have an incredible fear of authority and will tend to respect hierarchies even when they do not make much sense to us, and also try not to question what we are told; _we want at all costs to be 'part of the herd' and conform to the group, so we will suppress anything that we feel is different and might cause us trouble.
Now let's consider that, growing up in such a context, we become aware that something is not quite right for us. It could be anything from realising that we have sexual urges, to being attracted to someone of the same sex, to feeling uncomfortable in our own bodies, and so on.
In response to all of this, we experience feelings of shame, self-loathing and a desire to repress that which takes us away from what is the right way to be.
All these things are cruelly represented in our beloved angel Aziraphale.
AZIRAPHALE'S TRAUMA
It is really difficult to talk about Aziraphale's pain, although it is probably the most obvious and easiest to explain in the series. Because it is tangible, it is realistic, many of us experience it all the time and can relate to it.
Aziraphale has won us over with his almost childlike tenderness and joy, with his tenderness for the little things, with his tendency to take to heart the well-being and happiness of every human being in front of him. He is pure, genuine, sensitive and always on the side of good. But behind his façade of a happy and enthusiastic little creature, there is a frightened, abused, insecure child full of shame and self-reproach. This will always condition his actions and will lead him to the painful and, as we shall see, inevitable epilogue in which he rejects Crowley's love to follow Metatron to Paradise.
TO DO WHAT IS RIGHT OR TO DO WHAT I MUST?
We immediately see how Aziraphale lives in a state of perpetual contradiction due to his strong sense of morality: in the series, the first thing we see of him is the moment when he gives Adam and Eve the flaming sword he received as guardian of the Eastern Gate, so that they would not be completely helpless in their escape from the Garden of Eden.
As well as entertaining Crowley (and winning his immediate admiration), the episode shows us from the outset that Aziraphale has a moral compass that always points in a very precise direction: the good of others. This will often lead him in the series to act on impulse, only to have to face the consequences of constituted authority, and create in him an everlasting sense of remorse: almost immediately he is asked by God himself to account for the sword, the very sword that was in danger of becoming an instrument of destruction in the hands of one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse - except that it was then the key to preventing it.
Unable to fight his nature, Aziraphale finds himself repeating the same actions over and over again: in the miniseries about the life of Job, his tenacity to save innocent creatures at all costs leads him to confront Crowley head-on, discovering his plan to circumvent the orders he was given and not kill anyone. But the web of lies he and the demon have woven tightens around him as Gabriel, Michael and the other angels descend to give Job the good news that he will be able to have more children in exchange for those who have been killed.
Aziraphale is thus forced to make a choice: tell the truth, exposing Crowley's deception and leading to the presumed murder of Job's children, or lie, saving everyone but tarnishing himself with what he sees as an unforgivable guilt. Our angel, as we know, chooses to lie. This causes him tremendous pain and leads him to believe that his fate is sealed and that he must fall. Despite having made the right choice.
Fortunately, as we know, none of this happens. But the fear of doing the wrong thing is always with him.
NATURAL ENEMIES
Aziraphale never makes it a secret that he despises Crowley's demonic nature. Never.
It is painful to compare the admiring look he gives him in S2E1 when he meets him in his angelic version, intent on starting the nebula he has been working on since the beginning of time, with the veiled look of shock (not to say a little disgust) he gives him in S1E1 when they meet again as an angel and a demon, on the walls of the Garden of Eden.
However, as soon as it starts to rain and Crowley gets close to him, Aziraphale immediately takes him under his wing. Aziraphale is an angel, and as such he loves no matter what. It is his peculiar and almost poisonous trait that leads him to help and to forgive even those who have wronged him.
Aziraphale believes that Crowley should be forgiven and loved, but he cannot accept that he has feelings of love for him. This leads him to reflexively despise himself for what he feels, and to push Crowley away whenever he gets too close: think of the argument under the gazebo, or when, confronted with Crowley's suggestion that he take him for a ride after giving him the thermos of holy water, he tells him that he "runs too fast".
It is already obvious to us viewers, and to Aziraphale himself, that he has feelings for Crowley that go far beyond camaraderie, but he cannot let go of them: the fear of retribution and the contempt he feels for anything that is not angelic leads him once again to flounder in contradictions and adopt that yo-yo attitude that characterises all his interactions with Crowley.
THE FINAL TEMPTATION
Crowley is a demon sui generis: he is not really evil and does not mind harming others. In fact, if he can, he actively avoids doing so. However, he does enjoy temptation, and one of his favourite targets is our beloved angel. Still during the miniseries on the life of Job, we see Crowley's first successful temptation of Aziraphale: while the two are patiently waiting for the storm to pass in the cellar of the mansion, Crowley offers him a drink, but Aziraphale refuses, not wanting to succumb to the intoxication of the wine.
Crowley then suggests that he try some human food. The angel is initially disgusted, but makes no objection, and is so impressed by what he tastes that he devours the entire roast beef on the table. Crowley is delighted, and this gag of temptation for an invitation to dinner is repeated throughout the series. Whether the invitation comes from him or from Crowley, each time Aziraphale eats contentedly and our demon watches him eat with satisfaction.
Crowley can therefore be said to be initiating Aziraphale into the pleasures of the flesh, which he will indulge in to the fullest. Aziraphale is a hedonist who loves refined and special things: from antique books to bespoke clothing, passing records, tea and sushi. He loves the objects he surrounds himself with and treats them with care: remember the white gloves he wears before leafing through the only existing copy of Agnes Nutter's Prophecies!
Aziraphale delights in touching his surroundings, and we have already talked about how his predominant love language is physical contact. As much as he can control himself, he touches our demon every time he gets his hands on him. He cannot help it. He desires it, and while Aziraphale has not realised this for the better part of 6,000 years on Earth, in the last century he has come to acknowledge it openly.
This leads Aziraphale to experience another contradiction: he wants to have more physical contact with Crowley, but he cannot. Crowley is a demon, he is the enemy, he is everything he abhors, but the angel he was is always there, alive, before his eyes, and it is out of love for that angel that Aziraphale accepts Metatron's proposal, faced with the prospect of being able to take Crowley back to Paradise with him. So they could be together, in the sunlight, with the approval of God and all, in an angelic way.
But Crowley unexpectedly, desperately, refuses.
Our angel feels betrayed, but has no choice but to accept Crowley's will.
Here is the irreparable, the ultimate temptation our demon could offer: a kiss, a last desperate cry for love, a plea for help, a series of meanings too great to be expressed in words. Crowley grabs Aziraphale by the lapels and for a few very long seconds their lips meet.
Aziraphale has never experienced anything like this before (probably not even Crowley) and feelings stir inside him that he has never even been able to name. Feelings that frighten him, feelings that bring back his contempt for himself and his being far from angelic nature. Aziraphale desires Crowley, discovers that he wants to be kissed by a demon (as the writers of the show themselves have revealed to us), and all of this clashes with everything he has ever been. He has just witnessed the contempt of angels and demons for the love of Beelzebub and Gabriel, he has just risked extinction for helping the fugitive Archangel, and yet Crowley tempts him with a sweet and terrible kiss.
But Aziraphale is an angel, and as such he loves and forgives.
So he forgives Crowley.
But Crowley, by definition, is unforgivable: disappointed and embittered by his beloved's rejection, he leaves.
Aziraphale does not really want to go to Paradise, but his desire to be part of the herd, his need to be loved and accepted by his faction, drives him to go, to do what is right, what is expected of him as an angel.
As he gets into the lift and asks Metatron what his task will be, he discovers that he will have to deal with the very thing he had already averted in the past: the Second Coming, the Last Judgement. He realises his mistake, realises that he is trapped, and once again wonders if he should do what is right or what he must do.
This time, however, it wins what he must: after one last look at Crowley, watching from afar, Aziraphale climbs into the lift with Metatron that will take him to Paradise. His trauma is so deep and ingrained that it has removed any prospect of being worthy of love except in the light of divine approval.
Although leaving everything he loves - Crowley, Earth, the Library - causes him enormous pain, Aziraphale must return to Paradise and fulfil his destiny.
More infos at Religious trauma syndrome - Wikipedia
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bcbdrums · 9 months
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So, I got blocked for replying to this post here
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I commented and pointed out to OP that the relationship during adolescence being referred to in this very good book they show is NOT child to child, but adult to child. That is the type of attachment needed for healthy development.
I also recommended the excellent book The Boy Who Was Raised As A Dog by Dr. Bruce Perry for further reading on the topic of child trauma. My comment to OP was kind and supportive, but still pointing out the error in their interpretation.
But, my comment was deleted and I got blocked.
CroMa fandom, why you in denial about the fact that Crona needs THERAPY???
Thing is... It could have been anyone to exorcise Crona. It just happened to be Maka. But Crona would have developed a dependency on whoever had first reached out to them. Maka isn't special. Maka was just the one who was there. And to really heal, Crona needs professional help. A romance or even a friendship isn't gonna magically solve Crona's problems. Neither will antidepressants or other drugs. Children need a positive adult attachment. This is well-established brain science, not opinion.
Highkey think y'all know that, CroMa stans, and don't wanna admit it cuz...you think it would sink your ship? 🤔 Idk. A kid can have friends, that is normal but that can't be their primary relationship. That's not healthy for anyone, and especially not for someone in deep trauma.
Anyway, guess polite conversation get blocked now. Oh well.
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prolibytherium · 1 year
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Absolutely death gripped clenched trying not to comment on reductive posts on ancient greek homosexual relationships
#It is neither wholly '0mg two gay guys in love!!' and 'I am humiliating and debasing a lower man by making a woman out of him'#There's heavy elements of that in how they conceptualized penetrator vs penetrated but the erastes (lover/protector) and eromenos (beloved)#relationship was significantly more complex than that#Like it is conceptualized as sort of a mentor/mentee relationship and a positive element for an adolescent's development#It was the subject of romantic plays and you get things like people in antiquity in heated debates over who is the#erastes and who is the eromenos between Achilles and Patroclus (to better depict them in plays)#The bottom line is more 'the socially accepted m/m relationships were (what we would now consider) an adult and a child#(or young man) with the age difference being a fundamental element to the dynamic.'#And more broadly being penetrated in sex assigned a 'lower' or 'womanly' role and it would not be conventionally accepted#for an older/more socially powerful man to recieve penetration (which certainly DID happen though)#So absolutely a moment in the history of male homosexuality and not something to just go 'ew ew bad evil ewwie' about but also#not something you want to project modern conceptions of LGBT identity upon#Also we know relatively little about relationships between women in ancient Greece due to lack of sources due to being a#highly patriarchal culture but we can't actually know that they did not involve similar power dynamic#Certainly not to the same extent or in such a well socially defined way (bc they conceptualize sex almost entirely through a lens of#penetration) but I think you should be treating relations between ancient Greek women with the same degree of#historical distance from our lives and identities today.#Ok death grip failed I just typed an entire rant. Fiuck it
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raychleadele · 1 year
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Indulging in the academic equivalent of falling down a wikipedia rabbit hole, in which I read a quarter of a scientific study, click on the study it references, then reading a quarter of that study, then clicking on the study it references, then ...
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I completely agree! I'm glad you don't mind at least, but of course, it's totally natural to be predisposed to liking what you end up liking. I think that's gonna happen no matter what and it's not something that ever needs to be suppressed. There are very obvious patterns in my favorite characters and pairings for a reason lol
Same! I'm very selective as well, so a fic that stands out that much is always gonna be one for the books. I'm thrilled the language barrier didn't get in the way. The scene at the park GETS ME like the way Jo just knows that it's gonna eat away at Masato and does his best to accommodate instead of dragging him straight home like bro😭😭
I've always wanted to know what differs in Jo's and Arakawa's "parenting styles" that made Masato have such a clear "favorite," and maybe it's things like that that build up. ALSO AGREE on the drama theme in Confession, there's a bit of that in Y7 as-is so it was a great choice to hone in on and highlight it.
I knew you'd say that haha, but I think my subconscious simply understands that if I'd trust anyone with AraSawa, it's you. Also no worries, I genuinely wasn't even expecting a reply until you got home, godspeed lol--super excited to see what you come up with, and I hope you enjoyed your trip + the sushi!
Of course! Nothing wrong with liking what you end up liking. I only worry about it so I don't miss out on good things just because I'm not familiar with it or it's something new- trying to be open minded and ready to try different things and all :]
YEAHYEAH it especially felt great since like. Jo seeing Masato cry about not being able to walk was of course what got him back into his life, so it was nice to loop back to that and instead of Jo not being able to do anything like the first time, he go to be there for him now ;;
On the topic of parenting styles though, I'm genuinely surprised I haven't let slip any of my personal notes about how they parent Masato- or at least how I've speculated they parent him (of course we see how Masumi takes care of him more, so the 'speculation' part more so lies on Jo's end since obviously we didn't get to see it as explicitly). I actually thought of writing up a post about their parenting styles, but I thought I'd be repeating a lot of points we went over uu;;
Even if I might not ever write a fic, I'm glad that I've gotten the mark of approval for AraSawa interpretations (I guess my silly comics are the closest to written fics huh lmao)!
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literaryvein-reblogs · 2 months
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Writing Notes: Children's Dialogue
Language is extremely complex, yet children already know most of the grammar of their native language(s) before they are 5 years old.
BABBLING
Babbling begins at about 6 months and is considered the earliest stage of language acquisition
By 1 year babbles are composed only of the phonemes used in the language(s) they hear
Deaf babies babble with their hands like hearing babies babble using sounds
FIRST WORDS
After the age of one, children figure out that sounds are related to meanings and start to produce their first words
Usually children go through a holophrastic stage, where their one-word utterances may convey more meaning
Example: "Up" is used to indicate something in the sky or to mean “pick me up”
Most common first words (among the first 10 words uttered in many languages): “mommy,” “daddy,” “woof woof,” “no,” “bye,” “hi,” “yes,” “vroom,” “ball” and “banana”
WORD MEANINGS
When learning words, children often overextend a word’s meaning
Example: Using the word dog to refer to any furry, four-legged animal (overextensions tend to be based on shape, size, or texture, but never color)
They may also underextend a word’s meaning
Example: Using the word dog to refer only to the family pet, as if dog were a proper noun
The Whole Object Principle: When a child learns a new word, (s)he is likely to interpret the word to refer to a whole object rather than one of its parts
SYNTAX
At about two years of age, children start to put words together to form two-word utterances
The intonation contour extends over the two words as a unit, and the two-word utterances can convey a range of meanings:
Example: "mommy sock" = subject + object or possessive
NOTE: Chronological age is NOT a good measure of linguistic development due to individual differences, so instead linguists use the child’s mean length of utterance (MLU) to measure development
The telegraphic stage describes a phase when children tend to omit function morphemes such as articles, subject pronouns, auxiliaries, and verbal inflection
Examples: "He play little tune" or "Andrew want that"
Between 2;6 and 3;6 a language explosion occurs and children undergo rapid development
By the age of 3, most children consistently use function morphemes and can produce complex syntactic structures:
Examples: "He was stuck and I got him out" / "It’s too early for us to eat"
After 3;6 children can produce wh-questions, and relative pronouns
Sometime after 4;0 children have acquired most of the adult syntactic competence
PRAGMATICS
Deixis: Children often have problems with the shifting reference of pronouns
Children may refer to themselves as "you"
Problems with the context-dependent nature of deictic words: Children often assume the hearer knows who s/he is talking about
AUXILIARIES
In the telegraphic stage, children often omit auxiliaries from their speech but can form questions (with rising intonation) and negative sentences
Examples: "I ride train?" / "I not like this book"
As children acquire auxiliaries in questions and negative sentences, they generally use them correctly
SIGNED LANGUAGES
Deaf babies acquire sign language in the same way that hearing babies acquire spoken language: babbling, holophrastic stage, telegraphic stage
When deaf babies are not exposed to sign language, they will create their own signs, complete with systematic rules
IMITATION, REINFORCEMENT, ANALOGY
Children do imitate the speech heard around them to a certain extent, but language acquisition goes beyond imitation
Children produce utterances that they never hear from adults around them, such as "holded" or "tooths"
Children cannot imitate adults fully while acquiring grammar
Example:
Adult: "Where can I put them?" Child: "Where I can put them?"
Children who develop the ability to speak later in their childhood can understand the language spoken around them even if they cannot imitate it
NOTE: Children May Resist Correction
Example: Cazden (1972) (observation attributed to Jean Berko Gleason) – My teacher holded the baby rabbits and we patted them. – Did you say your teacher held the baby rabbits? – Yes. – What did you say she did? – She holded the baby rabbits and we patted them. – Did you say she held them tightly? – No, she holded them loosely.
Another theory asserts that children hear a sentence and then use it as a model to form other sentences by analogy
But while analogy may work in some situations, certainly not in all situations:
– I painted a red barn. – I painted a barn red. – I saw a red barn. – I saw a barn red.
Children never make mistakes of this kind based on analogy which shows that they understand structure dependency at a very young age
BIRTH ORDER
Children’s birth order may affect their speech.
Firstborns often speak earlier than later-born children, most likely because they get more one-on-one attention from parents.
They favor different words than their siblings. 
Whereas firstborns gabble on about animals and favorite colors, the rest of the pack cut to the chase with “brother,” “sister,” “hate” and such treats as “candy,” “popsicles” and “donuts.” 
The social dynamics of siblings, it would appear, prime their vocabularies for a reality different than the firstborns’ idyllic world of sheep, owls, the green of the earth and the blue of the sky.
MOTHER'S LEVEL OF EDUCATION
Children may adopt vocabulary quite differently depending on their mother’s level of education.
In American English, among the words disproportionately favored by the children of mothers who have not completed secondary education are: “so,” “walker,” “gum,” “candy,” “each,” “could,” “wish,” “but,” “penny” and “be” (ordered starting with the highest frequency).
The words favored by the children of mothers in the “college and above” category are: “sheep,” “giraffe,” “cockadoodledoo,” “quack quack,” the babysitter’s name, “gentle,” “owl,” “zebra,” “play dough” and “mittens.” 
BOYS / GIRLS
One area of remarkable consistency across language groups is the degree to which the language of children is gendered.
The words more likely to be used by American girls than by boys are: “dress,” “vagina,” “tights,” “doll,” “necklace,” “pretty,” “underpants,” “purse,” “girl” and “sweater.”
Whereas those favored by boys are “penis,” “vroom,” “tractor,” “truck,” “hammer,” “bat,” “dump,” “firetruck,” “police” and “motorcycle.”
Tips for Writing Children's Dialogue (compiled from various sources cited below):
Milestones - The dialogue you write should be consistent with the child's developmental milestones for their age. Of course, other factors should be considered such as if the child has any speech or intellectual difficulties. Also note that developmental milestones are not set in stone and each child is unique in their own way.
Too "Cutesy" - If your child characters are going to be cute, they must be cute naturally through the force of their personality, not because the entire purpose of their existence is to be adorable.
Too Wise - It’s true kids have the benefit of seeing some situations a little more objectively than adults. But when they start calmly and unwittingly spouting all the answers, the results often seem more clichéd and convenient than impressive or ironic.
Unintelligent - Don’t confuse a child’s lack of experience with lack of intelligence. 
Baby Talk - Don’t make a habit of letting them misuse words. Children are more intelligent than most people think.
Unique Individuals - Adults often tend to lump all children into a single category: cute, small, loud, and occasionally annoying. Look beyond the stereotype.
Personal Goals - The single ingredient that transforms someone from a static character to a dynamic character is a goal. It can be easy to forget kids also have goals. Kids are arguably even more defined by their goals than are adults. Kids want something every waking minute. Their entire existence is wrapped up in wanting something and figuring out how to get it.
Don't Forget your Character IS a Child - Most of the pitfalls in how to write child characters have to do with making them too simplistic and childish. But don’t fall into the opposite trap either: don’t create child characters who are essentially adults in little bodies.
Your Personal Observation - To write dialogue that truly sounds like it could come from a child, start by being an attentive listener. Spend time around children and observe how they interact with their peers and adults. You can also study other pieces of media that show/write about children's behaviour (e.g., documentaries, films, TV shows, even other written works like novels and scripts).
Context - The context in which children speak is crucial to creating realistic dialogue. Consider their environment, who they're speaking to, and what's happening around them. Dialogue can change drastically depending on whether a child is talking to a friend, a parent, or a teacher. Additionally, children's language can be influenced by their cultural background, family dynamics, and personal experiences. Make sure the context informs the dialogue, lending credibility to your characters' voices.
Sources and other related articles: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10
Writing Notes: On Children Writing Notes: Childhood Bilingualism
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luv4freddie · 9 months
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Fools - T.N
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in which the only Hufflepuff friend in the group of slytherins develops a crush on Theodore Nott— something only fools do.
fem!hufflepuff reader, bff Pansy, use of euphemisms and teasing yn for being innocent but sfw, reader is very emotional, jealous theo, 2800 words
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"Y/n!!"
After a year, you'd think that people would get used to seeing the same Hufflepuff go over to the Slytherin table, but alas, half the Great Hall turned to watch you approach the table and take a seat next to Pansy.
She sticks her middle finger up behind your back, aiming it at all of the people who are still staring, and they quickly turn away. It was an unlikely friendship, but she was not going to let anyone make you feel bad about it.
"About time you get here," Draco huffs, "I've had to hear Pansy's 'girl talk' while you were sleeping."
You smile sheepishly at him, you had taken your sweet time this morning, hitting snooze a few times before listening to your favorite record and doing more singing than actually getting ready— resulting in you being extra late to breakfast.
"Sorry, Draco."
"Don't apologize yn, he doesn't deserve it."
You can hear the teasing lilt in Theo's voice from across the table, and Draco throws a handful of grapes at him.
"Whatever," Pansy turns her back to them, "did you hear, apparently the Hufflepuff chaser has a crush on you."
Your eyes flit between her face and your hands, and you wonder where she got her information from.
The boys around you seem to perk up at this, and Draco chides Pansy for deeming that piece of information unimportant compared to all her other, much more useless, girl talk this morning.
"Where on Earth did you hear that?" You cut in, not enjoying the way everyone is suddenly interested in your (nonexistent) love life.
"From a very trustworthy source," is all she'll give away, and you cringe.
"Can we change subjects, please?"
Theo narrows his eyes at you, as if he's searching your face for something.
"You don't care about it then? You're not jumping at the chance to ride his broom?"
The Slytherins around you snicker at his euphemism, but you go bright red.
"I- what! Why would you say- no!"
This only makes them laugh harder, but Pansy collects herself enough to place a reassuring hand on your arm.
"Don't worry, we all know our little puff would never."
You slap her hand away, upset at them treating you like a child.
"Well if you guys are only gonna tease me, I'm gonna go back to my own table."
"Y/n, we didn't mean-" Theo starts, but he's still got a smirk on his face, so you ignore him, leaving before he can try and stop you.
You take a seat at your own house table, and the Hufflepuffs around you immediately welcome you into their conversation.
You don't know why it bothered you so much. They were right, you weren't going to be "riding someone's broom" anytime soon, but hearing the way they talked about it— like you were just some silly, innocent baby— really bugged you.
If you were being honest with yourself, you also knew that deep down you've been repressing feelings for Theodore, because you knew enough stories about him to know it would never work. He was a heartthrob, and had no issue finding girls to entertain him at night— to him you were just a little girl. That conversation was just more proof. There's no way he'd be interested in you.
You unintentionally make eye contact with Zacharias Smith when you finally get out of your head, but you immediately look away, turning back to your friends just as Hannah asks about your Christmas plans.
You don't see your Slytherin friends again until Charms class, and Pansy immediately brings up what happened at breakfast.
"Hey, I'm sorry about that. I don't want you to feel bad, that's just how we are."
You give her a tight lipped smile, shrugging your shoulders. You've realized that most of the anger came from the realization that Theo probably saw you as a child, not actually their teasing.
"No biggie, it's forgiven."
She eyes you suspiciously but decides not to question it, instead starting to talk about her next party idea until she gets shushed when Professor Flitwick starts explaining directions.
You use the quiet moment to sneak a look at Theo, who's leaned back in his chair smirking at something Draco said next to him.
Pansy turns to you and you quickly shift your focus, but it appears she's already seen you. She gives you a raised eyebrow, and you play dumb, looking back at the teapot on your desk and trying to give it legs.
"What was that about back there?" Pansy asks as the two of you walk out together.
"I know it took me forever to get those stupid legs," you cringe, hoping to throw her off course.
"No I meant your staring."
You try not to look guilty, just shrugging your shoulders and explaining, "figured the boys might have figured it out faster. Should have known better."
She grins at that, muttering "you really should have." But something tells you she doesn't quite believe your story.
Your thoughts are only confirmed the next day when she invites you over to her dorm and then immediately suggests the two of you take veritaserum to play a game of truth or dare.
You let out a sigh.
"I'm not doing that Pans, just ask me whatever you want to know."
She grins, "you know me so well."
"Unfortunately," you tease, and she slaps your arm but asks her question anyway.
"Do you have a crush on Draco?"
Her face drops into confusion when you start laughing hysterically.
"That's what you thought? Merlin, you had me scared for no reason. No Pans, I absolutely do not have a crush on Draco."
She lets out a small sigh of relief, but you can tell she's a little peeved you laughed at her.
"Well what was I supposed to think? You got all grumpy yesterday when we were teasing you about your love life, and then the staring. It was either that or you're secretly in love with Nott, which, lets be for real."
She leaves it at that, but your cheeks flush pink. Be for real what? Be for real, he'd never want you? Be for real, what universe would the two of you work out? Be for real, he hates you?
The thoughts keep coming one after another, and suddenly your vision is blurred.
"Hey, woah, what's wrong?"
You cursed Pansy for being so observant.
"Nothing, I think my allergies are acting up." You say, but there's sadness in your voice, and there's an inch of snow outside, which isn't exactly pollen friendly.
"Don't lie to me y/n."
"I'm sorry for being so stupid and emotional." You cry, and Pansy rubs your back slowly.
"Hey, there's nothing wrong with being emotional! You don't see us do it much, but a lot of that's got to do with how we were raised. I wish I felt things as deeply as you do."
Your tears seem to slow, and she smiles.
"Now as for stupid, that depends on where that fit came from."
You look up at her in embarrassment, more hot tears threatening to fill your eyes.
"I... what did you mean?" You ask instead.
"Huh?"
"When you said be for real about me secretly being.." you couldn't bring yourself to say it, as if saying the words would make it true and something you could no longer push away and pretend wasn't there.
Realization dawns on Pansy's face, and she immediately wraps you up in a hug.
"Oh yn, it all makes sense now."
You continue to cry, and she looks at you with what you assume is pity in her eyes.
"I know, I'm such a fool! I know it would never happen, I know half of Hogwarts has a crush on him, I know he'd never want a girl like me." All of the things you'd been keeping to yourself and secretly thinking come spilling out of your mouth, and Pansy rubs your back while you continue to cry.
"Hey don't talk like that! Theo doesn't care about those people, and I know he cares about you. Not to mention, "a girl like you"? You're the exact type of girl that Theo needs. He practically never smiles the way he does when you're around. Just calm down okay?"
You nod through your cries, finally settling down as Pansy throws a magazine at you and the two of you lay across her bed.
Unknowingly, you end up falling asleep, tired from the amount of crying you did. Pansy notices but decides not to wake you, heading down to the common room where the guys would be getting back from quidditch practice soon.
When you wake up the room is dark, and a quick looks around reminds you you're in Pansy's room and not your own. You check the bathroom attached to the dorm, and when no one is in there you head down to the common room, assuming that's where she's gone to.
The whole group is sat on leather couches and armchairs when you make it down the stairs, and you rub the sleep out of your eyes as you approach the group.
"There's our bella addormentata," Theodore purrs, and you immediately flush even though you only understand half of his phrase. (sleeping beauty)
"Sorry for falling asleep." You apologize as you take the seat Pansy offered you, coincidentally landing between her and the reason for your crying.
"Stop apologizing so much," Theo whispers in your ear, and you refuse to look at him in fear of him seeing exactly the effect he has on you. Instead you continue to look at Pansy.
"No biggie, you needed it after that." She says, and you nod.
"After what? What happened?" Draco asked, ever the nosy weasel.
Pansy looked at you, obviously waiting for you to answer so she could go along with whatever you say.
You consider lying, but figure there's no point. They all know you're an emotional person, no one would find it unusual.
"I- uh- cried a little bit. Tired me out."
The boys (that you can see) all nod their heads in understanding and decide to switch topics, finally letting you relax.
However, since you'd turned your back to Theo, that now meant when you leaned back to get comfy you leaned directly into his chest, as he had one arm on the back of the couch behind you.
"Oh I'm so sorry!" You whisper, shooting back up and speaking only to him in an attempt to not draw attention from the others.
"Don't be silly," he says back, pulling your shoulders so you're back in the relaxed position against him, "you're welcome in my arms any day ragazza dolce." (Sweet girl)
You flush red again, but this time you do look up at him, a teasing glint in your eyes.
"You know I have absolutely no idea what you're saying, right?"
He grins, "that's part of the fun."
"Whatever," you turn back away from him to look at the group, your head resting right over his heart, "as long as you're not calling me a troll."
"I promise I'm not." He says, ruffling your hair before the both of you rejoin the main conversation.
"Zacharias Smith was at our practice today," Draco tells Pansy, and she looks at him in surprise.
"Really? Maybe he was looking for yn. She does sometimes keep me company in the stands."
"Oh he definitely was." Blaise smirks, and you feel Theo tense behind you. "Walked right up to Theo and asked where the pretty little one we're always hanging out with was."
"What?" Pansy shrieks, looking over, although you're unsure if the intentional target was you or the boy behind you. Her eyes momentarily widen at seeing your position before she notices something and smirks.
"Theo," she drawls, "I didn't notice those cuts on your knuckles earlier, is that new?"
Everyone turns to look at Theo, and you sit up in alarm, turning to look at his hand that's laying behind your spot on the couch.
"Theo! What happened? Why didn't you go get this checked out?"
He averts his eyes from your gaze. "Just wasn't thinking about it," he shrugs.
You frown. "How could you not be thinking about it, that looks painful!"
He shrugs again, grimacing when you grab his hand, insisting he let you heal it.
"Just let me go get my wand okay? I left it in Pansy's room."
You get up to leave, and with your back turned you don't see Pansy whisper to Theo and then him get up and follow you.
"I'll just come with." He announces, following you back to your friends room.
You try not to think about the intimacy of being alone with Theo while you tend to his wounds, trying once again to shove all your feelings down far in your heart.
Thankfully none of Pansy's roommates had come back, and Theo sits on her bed while you grab your wand from her nightstand before standing in between his spread legs.
"Give me your hand."
He complies, and you try not to blush at the warmth of his, much bigger, hand resting on your own.
"This is nasty Theo, did you punch a wall or something?" You ask, beginning to heal a few of the cuts. Luckily most of them were clean from where he'd washed them when he showered after practice, but they were scabbed over and his knuckles were blue with beginning to form bruises.
He lets out an amused huff of laughter and you stop your ministrations, looking up at him immediately.
"Tell me you didn't actually punch a wall."
He shrugs, "it was either that or Smith, and I know you don't like when I get into fights."
You feel yourself heat up. He didn't hit someone because of your preference, and the person just happened to be the guy who supposedly has a crush on you.
"Well I'm glad you didn't send my housemate to the hospital wing at least, although I wish you wouldn't have hurt yourself," you sigh, continuing to heal his hands.
Out of nowhere he pulls it away.
"Theo?"
"Look, I-" he cards a hand through his hair, contemplating his next words. "I didn't like it that Smith came looking for you. Especially that he asked me."
You look at him in confusion, "what? Why?"
He looks distraught, but he can't help the crooked smile that etches itself on his face.
"You're damn oblivious, you know that?"
You continue to look at him, no thoughts behind your eyes.
"Uh, I mean I guess? I've been told that a few times, though I'm not sure how it's pertinent to this situation."
Suddenly Theo's hands are on your cheeks, and his face is inches from your own.
"What- what are you doing?"
"I want to kiss you." He states plainly, as if it's the most normal thing in the world— as if the five words didn't have you spiraling out of control.
"Wait- do you want to kiss me because you think I'm like pretty or do you want to kiss me because you like me?"
You'd never even thought he would consider you pretty, but at his words you had to rethink a lot of things you thought you knew.
"I like you, amorina." (Little love)
"Really?" You know you should be celebrating, but you can't help the doubt that creeps into your mind. "You don't think I'm a silly, innocent, little Hufflepuff?"
He grins, "you can be my silly little Hufflepuff. And no I don't care that you're not jumping at the opportunity to go broom hopping."
You can't help but laugh a his phrasing, but you're glad he knew what you meant.
"I like you, amorina, I don't care about anything else, as long as I get you."
You smile, and Theo swears he could die happy if it's the last thing he sees.
"Well in that case, I want you to kiss me too."
He can barely hold back his own smile as he places his lips on yours, cradling your jaw with one hand while the other holds your hip.
He kissed you gently, not at all like what you'd expected, but you feel his adoration flowing out of it, and you can't help but break it to let out a giggle.
"And to think I was crying over you a few hours ago."
He grins, standing up and grabbing your hand to walk back down to the common room together, where your friends were waiting for you to go to dinner.
"No more crying over me okay?"
You nod your head, and he pulls you in for one more kiss before you rejoin the rest of your friends.
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inkskinned · 2 years
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there are a lot of posts out there that are positive and healthy coping mechanisms for handling the holidays. this is not one of them :)
i think there's like. going to be times in your life you will be stuck in a social situation that you cannot escape from gracefully. i do not know why the internet doesn't believe these times exist. it's not always just that your physical safety is at risk - sometimes it's legit like "i just don't currently have the energy or time to put in the effort of responding to this." sometimes it's a coworker you hate so much. sometimes it's just like, fine, you know? like you know you can handle your aunt when she's cheerily horrible, but if you actually set a boundary around her, it's going to be weeks of fallout with your father.
i don't know why people think the answer is always just "cut them out!" or "don't let them get away with that!" because ... the real world is tricky and complicated. i think kind of a lot of us have an internal "radiation poisoning" meter for certain people. like - i'm talking about the ones who are absolutely giving you gradual ick damage. like, you can handle them, but you'll be exhausted.
and yes. you absolutely should listen to your therapist and the good posts about handling others and set good boundaries and take care of yourself. prioritize peace.
HOWEVER :) ...... since im often in a situation with a Gradual Sense of Ick person i cannot just "cut out" of my life (without losing someone else precious to me) - i have sort of developed the most. maladaptive form of mischief possible. because like, if i'm going to have to listen to this shit again, i like to have a little bit of private fun with it.
now! again, i am physically safe, just mentally drained by this man. you should only do this with people you are not in danger with. which leads me to my suggestions for when your Unfortunate Acquaintance shows up and says oh everyone pay attention to me.
my favorite word is "maybe!" said as brightly and happily as possible. whenever the Horrible Person starts in on a topic you do not want to go further with, particularly if they make a claim that you know to be inaccurate, do not respond to it. you and i have both tried to actually argue with this person, and it hasn't gone well, because this person just wants the drama of an argument. however, "maybe!" gives them literally nothing to go on. it is incredibly disarming. they are used to people having some response. they know they can't prove what they're saying, and maybe! treats them like the child they are. it dismisses them in the politest way possible.
i like to say maybe! and then, in their stunned silence, immediately change the subject. this is because i have adhd and i will have something unrelated to talk about, but if you can't think of topics fast enough, i recommend just pointing to something and saying, "isn't that lovely?" because fuck you let's bring in some positivity.
by the way. that second trick - of pointing to something and stating an opinion about it? - that just works on its own, like, 70% of the time. i picked it up from teaching preschoolers. it's an intentional "redirect". it stops children crying and it also stops grown adults from finishing their explanation on why women belong in kitchens. dual wielding!
keep it silly for yourself. i absolutely do not care if people think i'm fucking stupid (it's more fun if they do) and as a result i will purposefully misunderstand things just to see how long it takes them to realize i've completely removed them from the subject at hand. when they say "women aren't funny" i get to be like. "which women." "all women." "all women in america?" "no in the world." "like the mole people? the people in the world?" "what? no. like, alive." "oh are we not counting the mole people?" "what the fuck are you talking about." "you don't believe in the mole people?"
similarly, i play a personal game called "one up me." my Evil Acquaintance literally knows this game exists (my family & friends caught onto it and now also play it) and it always fucking gets him. i don't know why. you have to be willing to be a little free-spirited on this one, though. the trick is that when they make one of those horrible little bigoted or annoying comments they are always making, you need to go one unit weirder. not more intense, mind you - just more weird. "you don't look good in that dress." "yeah, actually, my other dress was covered in squid ink due to a mishap at the soup store." "you shouldn't wear such revealing clothes." "wait, what? oh shit. sorry, your son tears off strips when no one is looking and eats them. i swear it was longer before we left the building."
the point of "one up me" is to completely upend this person's narrative. we both know this person likes setting up situations where you cannot "win" and then they really like telling other people how badly you handled it. in a usual situation, if you respond "please don't say something that rude", you're a bitch. but if you let it happen, you're letting yourself be debased. they are not usually expecting door number three: unflappably odd. because what are they going to say when they're telling everyone how badly you behaved? "she said my son eats her dresses" ".... okay?"
if you can, form an allyship with someone whomst you can tagteam with. where they can pick up on your weird "soup store" story and run with it.
the following phrase is amazing and can be deployed for any situation: "oh, be nice :) it's the holidays!" i do not know why this works as often as it does. i'll say it for the most random shit. i think this is bc most of the time these people know they're being impolite, they just like to fight.
godbless. when in doubt, remember that you could always start stealing their pens.
the whole point of this is - if you can't escape. maybe see how long you can just be. like. a horrible little menace.
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art · 6 months
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Creator Spotlight: @camberdraws
Hello! My name is Camber (any pronouns), and I’m a mixed media illustrator located in the southwestern United States. I love drawing everything, but I have a special interest in depicting strange creatures and environments, often accompanied by abstract imagery and mark-making. Professionally, I’ve worked creating concept art and 2D assets for museum exhibits, but currently, I am engaged full-time as a software developer and make standalone illustrations in my free time. I’ve been posting art on Tumblr since I was a teenager, and the site has been very welcoming towards my work to this very day!
Check out Camber’s interview below!
Did you originally have a background in art? If not, how did you start?
I’ve had an interest in drawing since I was barely sentient, but at thirteen years old I decided to become “serious” about art. I was all about reading tutorials and doing a ton of studies. I would tote my heavy instructional art books to school every single day (my poor back!) Despite all this, I decided to forgo art school in favor of a bachelor’s degree in Computer Science at my local college. Alongside my major, I received a minor in Art Studio with a specialization in fine art, which totally changed my views on creating artwork and drastically changed my style.
How has your style developed over the years?
As mentioned previously, my style did a 180 after I studied under some very skilled fine art professors! As a kid, my drawings were very realism-heavy and inspired by video game concept art. I mostly worked digitally, too. During college, I was thrown for a loop when we were instructed to do strange things like, for example, make a bunch of marks on paper using pastel, WITHOUT looking, and then turn said marks into a finished piece of art! I quickly and deeply fell in love with abstract work, and especially appreciated images that are not easily parsed by the viewer. Since then, I’ve made it my goal to combine abstract mark-making with more representational subject matter.
What is one habit you find yourself doing a lot as an artist?
Hmmm, one habit I really enjoy as an artist is strictly tracking the amount of time I spend drawing! I currently work a full-time job wholly unrelated to art, so I have to be careful with my time if I want to spend enough hours drawing each week. I created a spreadsheet that allows you to enter the amount of minutes you’ve drawn each day and calculate how much drawing time you still need to reach your weekly goal (I aim for 20 hours a week.) Having such a clear, numbers-based objective keeps me motivated to work like nothing else!
Over the years as an artist, what were your biggest inspirations behind your creativity?
I know this is a common inspiration, but Hayao Miyazaki’s work has been rewiring my neurons since I was a child. Seemingly all of my artistic interests can be summed up by the movie Princess Mononoke: it has strange/abstract creature designs, a strong focus on nature and environmental storytelling, and a mix of dark and hopeful themes. Additionally, I’ve been deeply inspired by video game series such as Zelda, Okami, Pikmin, and Dark Souls. But arguably, none of these have influenced me more than Pokemon! I’ve been drawing Pokemon since I could barely hold a pencil, and I haven’t stopped since! I believe my love of designing creatures originated with my endless deluge of Pokemon fanart during my childhood.
What is a medium that you have always been intrigued by but would never use yourself?
I’ve always been fascinated by 3D mediums and am so tempted to try them out! Whether that’s 3D models created digitally or sculptures made from clay, I profoundly admire artists who have this skill. Oftentimes, it feels like I don’t have time to delve into a totally different artistic paradigm. However, I feel very strongly that learning new skills can enrich your current work. I should take that advice and someday give 3D mediums a shot!
What is a recent creative project that you are proud of?
I am in the process of creating an art book (a dream of mine!) and have been executing smaller drawings of concepts I find interesting from both a visual and storytelling standpoint. A recent drawing for said book is that of a snail made of ink with an ink bottle as a shell, and it went absolutely viral! I’ve never had an experience like this as an artist before and it has been spectacular! I was able to open a shop using my newly acquired art printer and sell many prints of my snail. Creating something original, directly stemming from my interests, and having that resonate with so many people has been unreal. I couldn’t ask for more as an artist!
What advice would you give to younger you about making art that’s personal or truthful to your own experiences?
I would tell my younger self to chill out and experiment more! I was so caught up in the idea that I needed to have a realistic style to be considered “good.” I also believed that technical skill was the only measure of how worthy my art was. That’s not to say technical skill doesn’t matter, but I now firmly believe the creativity and voice of your ideas far outweigh the skill of execution in terms of importance. Technical skills should elevate ideas, not the other way around. Once I began to revel in strange ideas and stories for my work, depicted oftentimes in odd styles or mediums, I truly found my voice as an artist.
Who on Tumblr inspires you and why?
My peers here on Tumblr inspire me more than anything! Sharing my work with contemporaries and giving each other support brings me joy like no other, and keeps me motivated to continue creating. I wouldn’t be where I am today without them! @beetlestench, @theogm-art, @trustyalt, @ratwednesday, @phantom-nisnow, @svltart, @mintsdraws, @mothhh-hh, @jupiterweathers, @thesewispsofsmoke, @picoffee, @fetchiko, @kaisei-ink, and @pine-niidles just to name only a few!
Thanks for stopping by, Camber! If you haven’t seen their Meet the Artist piece, check it out here. For more of Camber’s work, follow their Tumblr, @camberdraws!
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saturnsbabyboii · 1 year
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⚝Pluto Through the Houses⚝
(Brought to you by Sailor Pluto)
(I apologize for the wonky layout and writing. This one took it out of me for some reason)
⚝──⭒─⭑─⭒──⚝⚝──⭒─⭑─⭒──⚝⚝──⭒─⭑─⭒──⚝⚝──⭒─⭑─⭒──⚝
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⚝──⭒─⭑─⭒──⚝⚝──⭒─⭑─⭒──⚝⚝──⭒─⭑─⭒──⚝⚝──⭒─⭑─⭒──⚝
Did you know that Pluto was only discovered in 1930? Many associate it with mystery and darkness. In astrology, Pluto is said to represent our dark side or shadow self, as well as humanity's. As the furthest planet from the Sun its orbit around the system takes around 248 years, and due to its eccentricity, it can take between 12 to 31 years to pass through a sign. Pluto rules Scorpio and the Eighth House, and it is considered the last of the transcendental planets and the higher octave of Mars.
The energy of Pluto may not be obvious, but its effects can be overwhelming. Pluto is associated with transformation, regeneration, and rebirth. Although Pluto's influence can be unpleasant, it is effective. It compels us to discard the old and embrace the new, and we must be prepared for this change. Otherwise, we may find ourselves trapped in misery. Pluto challenges us to transcend our limitations, undergo a process of redemption, and emerge stronger as a result. Despite its creative abilities, Pluto also has a destructive side. It governs the underworld, crime, and subversive activities such as terrorism and dictatorships. Pluto represents secrecy and concealment of hidden activities. Nobody can deny Pluto's power and intensity, as it also rules atomic power. Its energy is often directed toward the masses and their collective actions. Pluto urges people to look inward and explore their subconscious, even if it's frightening. Pluto has a way of pushing people's buttons.
The planet Pluto symbolizes intense changes, mutations, removals, sexuality, attraction, influence, and confidentiality. It brings destruction that leads to rebirth, trauma, and hidden mysteries. It represents things underneath the surface, the subconscious, violence, power, control, obsessions, desires, dictators, sadistic individuals, death, kidnapping, coercion, viruses, waste, violent characters, powerful and instinctive, and possessing hidden strengths. Pluto governs Scorpio and is related to sexual organs and excretion.
⚝──⭒─⭑─⭒──⚝⚝──⭒─⭑─⭒──⚝⚝──⭒─⭑─⭒──⚝⚝──⭒─⭑─⭒──⚝
⚝Pluto in the 1st house⚝
When Pluto is located in your first house, it suggests that you possess a commanding aura and possess a fervent and fervid personality. This planetary position indicates that your body is robust and can endure considerable strain. Nevertheless, having Pluto in the first house comes with difficulties. It suggests that you experienced a traumatic event during your childhood that has had a profound impact on you. Planets that are located in the first house are highly influential and have a potent influence on the physical realm.
Pluto in the first house has a big impact on the native's personality and self-expression. Someone with this placement typically possesses a strong desire for transformation and renewal in one's life and the possibility of profound psychological insight and understanding. Those who have Pluto in their first house may desire control. As such, they develop a tendency to assert their power in their relationships and interactions with others. They must remain aware of their proclivity for manipulation and direct their energy toward constructive and positive endeavors. When meeting new people, you may feel as if you are an outsider. This could be because you feel different and excluded as if you have a special purpose or reality. As a result, you may approach the world with caution and a desire to keep a safe distance between your true self and the outside. This is to avoid being duped or caught up in the plans of others.
Pluto in the first house also indicates that you may have been subjected to significant trauma and emotional pain as a child, which can cause you to emit an intense and dark aura that others can easily detect. People tend to perceive who you are, ignoring anything other than your physical appearance or any superficial traits, mostly out of fear. You have a magnetic personality that makes a strong first impression. When people meet you, they either love you or hate you, and some may even be irrationally attracted to you. Here, Pluto gives you power through charisma. With Pluto in this position, you may be perceived as powerful, intense, and mysterious, which may cause some people to be suspicious of you. Others may notice your strength, but you may prefer to be reserved and secretive, valuing and protecting your privacy.
Pluto, being the furthest planet from the Sun and shrouded in darkness and mystery, is comparable to people with Pluto in the first house in that they are difficult to understand, even for those who have known them for a long time. In astrology, Pluto is associated with power and control, and a strong Pluto in the natal chart can indicate a control freak or someone obsessed with power. With Pluto in the first house, the issue of personal power becomes especially important. Pluto in the first house indicates that you discover power within yourself, and it is a fundamental aspect of your identity for people like you. You learned early on to protect and save yourself because you were forced to find your power when you couldn't rely on others. This placement makes you extremely resilient, but despite what others may think, you frequently feel insecure.
You have a fear of rejection or not being accepted for who you are, which is likely a painful experience you had when you were young. Pluto in the first house can also indicate a very strong ego and people with this placement often find it difficult to forgive others. This placement can make you vengeful and uncooperative when feeling opposed or controlled, especially if you have difficult aspects. However, because your natal Pluto is in the first house, you have above-average regenerative abilities, which means you can experience deep renewal several times throughout your life, even when most people are unable to. This is true both physically and mentally.
You may have endured significant trauma that has affected you in various ways throughout your life. The first house represents a person's early years, starting from their birth, and Pluto's positioning in this house could signify a challenging childhood experience. Many individuals with this placement may have encountered abuse and violence, particularly during their formative years, were born prematurely, or were themselves set up for a controlled life since birth. Pluto is a planet associated with the darker side of astrology, making it complex to navigate. Although not always violent, it often is. In the first house of the natal chart, Pluto typically points towards power struggles that may have occurred within the family during the individual's childhood. Perhaps their parents exerted dominance and exploited them in some way, as this is a common manifestation of Pluto. Such early experiences can have a long-lasting impact on a person's life, similar to how a nail leaves a hole even after it is removed from the wall. Pluto can cause profound wounds in the soul, and some people with Pluto in the first house may find it difficult to recover from such profound pain.
If Pluto is negatively aspected in the chart, the individual may exhibit irritability. However, if Pluto is positively aspected, the individual may possess strong healing abilities and be able to help others effectively. By working through their issues, they can inspire others to do the same and lead by example.
⚝Pluto in the 2nd house⚝
The presence of Pluto in the 2nd house can lead to profound transformations in their relationship with their possessions, finances, and self-worth. This placement often signals a strong desire to establish control and power over one's material resources, which can have both positive and negative effects. On the one hand, it can result in great financial success and the ability to accumulate wealth and resources. On the other hand, it can lead to an unhealthy fixation on money and material possessions, which can cause significant stress and anxiety. It's crucial for individuals with Pluto in the 2nd house to strive for a healthy balance between their desire for control and their need for emotional fulfillment and stability.
Individuals with this placement typically keep their wealth and financial status hidden and may appear more modest than they are. They possess a resourceful and intuitive understanding of how to manage finances and make assets yield profit. It's worth noting that many wealthy individuals have Pluto in the 2nd house due to this placement's association with extreme financial success.
This position denotes a strong desire for material possessions and financial success. When you want something, you want it. People with Pluto in the second house are obsessed with what they want. They can devise brilliant plans to achieve their financial objectives, but they can also find ways to obtain what they desire in other areas of life. Pluto is the planet of authority. When it is placed in the second house, you feel the need to control your life, as well as the ability to control others through money. Regarding people as your possession and treating them as such. This could be a problem in your relationships. A natal Pluto in the second house indicates that you want to be in charge of your finances and that you can be secretive about money. Here, there is a lot of conflict between mine (the second house) and yours (Pluto and the eighth house), giving proclivity to want what others have, as well as, wanting something just for the sake of owning it.
Individuals with Pluto in the second house may tend to hold onto material possessions and people due to a fear of letting go. This can lead to an overly materialistic mindset and a failure to recognize the importance of non-material aspects of life. Pluto's placement in the second house can also bring painful life lessons related to material possessions, with the goal of teaching individuals to let go and not prioritize money above all else. Those with Pluto in the second house may struggle with self-esteem and a belief that their worth is tied to their wealth. This may stem from childhood experiences of financial crisis and feeling undervalued. However, they need to learn that their value as a person is not defined by their financial status. Obsessive spending and self-destructive behavior may also be manifestations of this placement. Overall, it is crucial to recognize the potential fears and subconscious issues associated with Pluto in the second house and work towards healthy ways of managing them.
It's very likely that you've faced financial challenges during childhood. Your family may have experienced financial difficulties or lacked financial management skills, resulting in the deprivation of possessions or resources. However, these early struggles can be a powerful motivator for you to strive for financial success later in life. Pluto's influence is strong and resilient, making it difficult to overcome. But with this placement, you have the ability to conquer financial obstacles and turn debt into wealth. A natal Pluto in the second house can manifest as resourcefulness and transformation, which are common traits found in the charts of successful and wealthy individuals. This placement may also make you rebel against the norms and authority figures imposed on you as a child. Buried anger and frustrations may surface during times of crisis. In extreme cases, this placement can lead to greed and a willingness to do anything for money and power. A natal Pluto in the second house can indicate a career in research, banking, managing money, taxation, or investments. But because Pluto also rules the underworld in astrology, this placement may also suggest involvement in sex work or crime. You may earn money through partnerships or even inheritances if supported by the chart.
⚝Pluto in the 3rd house⚝
Your communication style can be intense and transformative. Your words hold a lot of weight and may have a powerful effect on those who hear them. However, this can also lead to power struggles and communication breakdowns in your relationships. It's important to find a balance between expressing your truth and respecting others' perspectives. Remember to listen as much as you speak and be open to learning from those around you. The third house is associated with siblings, early childhood, primary education, and your immediate surroundings. Pluto in the third house indicates that you are a deep thinker with a powerful mind. However, you may struggle with direct or blunt communication. Connecting with others may have been difficult for you as a child, which has left an impression on you as an adult. With Pluto in the third house, you are attracted to what is concealed and what is left unsaid. You understand the hidden machinery and what is secretly at stake when communicating with others. Your communication takes into account underlying information, and you are aware of the subtle quirks and changes in others' body language and speech.
Having Pluto in the third house may indicate a challenging start to your life, with some individuals experiencing traumatic childhood events. However, it's important to note that several indicators in the chart must be present for this to be the case. When Pluto has harmonious aspects, its effects are much lighter. People with Pluto in the third house often keep family secrets and may have intense or dark relationships with siblings. They may also use code language or have an interest in the local underground scene or criminal activity. 
For some individuals, trauma may have occurred within their peer groups or school environments. This can result in deep emotional wounds, feelings of isolation and misunderstanding, and potential speech problems that require therapy. It's common for those with this placement to feel like they don't fully fit in and to encounter power struggles or betrayal. 
If Pluto in the third house has hard aspects, there may be difficulties with neighbors or relatives and a higher risk of accidents. However, harmonious aspects can bring strong and beneficial connections with friends and family. It's important to be cautious when driving or in traffic.
There's a possibility of experiencing family bereavement, specifically the loss of siblings. The third house in your natal chart represents various people in your life, including your siblings. As such, your relationship with your siblings might be strained. You may perceive them to be self-centered, powerful, or even dangerous. If there are hard aspects to Pluto from Mars, Saturn, or Uranus, it can indicate rivalry between you and your siblings. Pluto is linked to power struggles, which can manifest in your relationship with your siblings or relatives. People with this placement may have experienced verbal abuse from their family members, and often have a sarcastic sibling or family member. On the other hand, if your natal chart shows harmonious aspects with Pluto in the third house, it can indicate a powerful sibling who acts as a protector in your relationship. You may hold them in high regard, and your siblings may initiate a transformational process in your life.
You possess a strong grasp of the power of communication. This placement implies you are selective about what you share with others and have the ability to keep and uncover secrets. You are also skilled at collecting data and piecing together small bits of information. You have an inquisitive and powerful mind, with a tendency to obsess over thoughts, overanalyze and not give up until you find a solution. However, this thinking process may differ drastically from those around you, making it difficult to connect with your peers. At times, you may come across as blunt or shocking to others. An unevolved Pluto in the third house may suggest an aggressive personality. These individuals do not sugarcoat their feelings and can manipulate others through their words and gestures. As they mature, they become extremely persuasive communicators. This placement indicates a fascination with taboos and mysteries, such as the occult, psychology, death, sex, and crime. Individuals with Pluto in the third house are life-long learners, often learning best on their own. They have a highly analytical mind and are avid readers.
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⚝Pluto in the 4th house⚝
The placement of Pluto in the 4th house indicates that your family or home environment may have been the site of intense power struggles or upheavals, leading to deep psychological transformation and rebirth. You may have a strong desire for privacy and control over your domestic affairs, which can sometimes cause you to feel isolated or emotionally distant from others. It is important to address any unresolved emotional issues from your past to create a stable and nurturing home environment for yourself and your loved ones. You may feel a sense of distance and difference between yourself and your family, and you may not always feel in perfect harmony with those around you. However, this uniqueness is also your strength and can drive your personal growth. You may feel that you hold a truth that eludes ordinary people and those in your circles, making you difficult to label or define.
Individuals who have Pluto in the fourth house often have a history of coming from troubled families, which may include domestic abuse or violence. This placement can be challenging to interpret in the natal chart, and it typically indicates that their childhood circumstances were less than ideal. Unfortunately, these patterns often repeat themselves in their adult home and family life, leading to power struggles, particularly with one of their parents/caregivers. These conflicts leave a deep wound in their soul, and the rage is frequently buried in their subconscious, subtly controlling their life. Moreover, many individuals with Pluto in the fourth house have some karmic heritage to work through before they can create a loving and supportive family environment. Ideally, the fourth house should serve as a place of safety and support for a child, but this is not always the case when Pluto is present. People who have Pluto in the fourth house frequently experience struggles early on and might come from unstable families. This placement often indicates that they perceived their fourth house parent as dictatorial, controlling, or even manipulative. Additionally, Pluto in the fourth house with hard aspects can indicate domestic violence or abuse. Therefore, the presence of difficult aspects here frequently indicates a troubled parent. The fourth house represents the mother, and this placement usually represents a domineering one. In extreme cases, the parent may be narcissistic, and their desire to control their child might persist even after they have moved out and grown up. Furthermore, individuals with Pluto in the fourth house rarely receive the emotional support that a child requires, forcing them to learn how to be emotionally self-sufficient at a young age. Power struggles and controlling behaviors are common in these relationships, and subtle manipulation is also possible, occasionally leaving an individual feeling emotionally unfulfilled. This positioning suggests emotional baggage, often buried in their memory, preventing them from being emotionally fulfilled, particularly in the area of home life. Therefore, it is necessary to get rid of this baggage to lead a happy family life.
To achieve true freedom, it is crucial to address any challenging relationships with family members. As Pluto in the 4th house individuals end up developing a tendency to become domineering and controlling during adulthood subsequent to their upbringing. This trait can manifest in a more direct manner for those with harmonious aspects. It is imperative to confront and overcome these issues to avoid causing harm to others. If left unaddressed, individuals with hard aspects may become bullies or even abusive, with this negative behavior being concealed from those outside of their inner circle due to Pluto's placement in the fourth house. Unfortunately, domestic violence can occur within their own homes. Even if they are not abusive, they may end up with a manipulative, controlling, or violent partner. The fourth house represents where power and authority are sought after in a birth chart, therefore for those with Pluto in the fourth house, power struggles may transpire within their homes. However, they possess the power to break the cycle of generational trauma and change their entire family's situation.
If Pluto is in your fourth house, it could mean that you struggle with your sense of self, often feeling disconnected from your family and ancestors. This placement may also indicate a family secret that sets you apart from them. Acceptance of oneself can be difficult for those with Pluto in this position, and seeking psychotherapy or a supportive relationship can help. Harmonious aspects can make this work easier. Additionally, this placement can manifest as an intense patriotism, radical ideals, or religiosity in later life that is followed by a lonely old age, where the native may isolate themselves or be abandoned by family members. Alternatively, natives can develop new forms of family function and support for themselves and others. Pluto in the 4th is also an indication of creating a powerful family/household.
⚝Pluto in the 5th house⚝
You might experience a strong urge to express yourself creatively and actively pursue intense experiences related to love, romance, and sexuality. This placement can also trigger obsessive and compulsive behaviors in these areas, which must be handled with caution to avoid adverse outcomes. Despite these challenges, Pluto in the 5th house can instill a sense of personal power and charm that could assist you in achieving your aspirations and desires. It's crucial to maintain a balance between self-awareness and self-control to navigate this placement successfully. Passion, love, and art might appear elusive and mysterious to you, leading you to be drawn to perilous or unattainable love affairs and harboring concealed emotions. Childhood memories may have a special significance for you, shaping your understanding of love and relationships.
Individuals with Pluto in the fifth house possess a strong personality. However, if Pluto is afflicted or there are challenging aspects between the Sun and Pluto in their natal chart, they may have a big ego. This placement signifies a passionate and creative nature but with a tendency towards melodrama and self-centeredness. Those natives find excitement in taking risks in their romantic lives and often possess a strong will and a daredevil spirit. However, a negative manifestation of this placement can result in a struggle for authority. People with this placement feel the need to receive recognition and become the center of attention. Failure to do so may lead to frustration and jealousy. As a result, they may become easily irritated if they do not receive the attention they desire. The negative side of Pluto can manifest as envy or jealousy, so if they feel ignored, they may act childishly.
They possess a strong inclination towards creative pursuits such as art, movies, music, and literature. This is due to the influence of Pluto in the fifth house which amplifies one's desire to express themselves. Individuals with this placement may have a preference for a darker artistic style, and find leisure in hobbies such as deep dives, gambling, and exploring risky arts forms. However, Pluto's obsessive nature may not be ideal for such activities and may lead to addiction and extreme losses. 
Moreover, Pluto's qualities may be embodied by your father if certain aspects of the Sun and Pluto in the birth chart support this. Pluto's energy is directed towards the matters of the house in which it is located, which can be overwhelming and exhausting. It is essential to find a balance to overcome Pluto's dark traits. If successful, you can become a fascinating and charismatic individual, well-suited for creative endeavors, art, and making societal contributions despite feelings of inadequacy.
The fifth house defines your love life, indicating a passionate and intense nature described by Pluto. You give your all in love and expect the same from your partner. Individuals with Pluto in the fifth house often seek powerful and intense partners. This placement implies a lack of interest in superficial relationships. In romance, you tend to embody Pluto's qualities or choose partners who do. Negative aspects of Pluto, such as possessiveness, jealousy, obsession, and power struggles, may arise in your relationships. As a result, your relationships tend to be Scorpionic.
Pluto in the fifth house often transforms through romantic relationships, leading you to become a different person in the presence of your partner. This placement suggests an intense love life, with a strong focus on passion and sex. Pluto represents intense attachment, vulnerability, and intimacy, qualities you seek in a partner. Sexual kinks may pique your interest if Pluto is in this position. On the other hand, this placement can also imply betrayal by your lover and even traumatic experiences in extreme cases. Plutonic relationships may be part of your experience, with manipulative partners or yourself as the manipulator in the relationship.
The position of the planets and signs on the cusp of the fifth house can reveal information about your first child and your attitude toward them. If Pluto is located in the fifth house, it suggests that having a child will bring about a transformation in your life. Your beliefs may be challenged, and you may need to make changes. A child born under this placement may have a strong personality, especially if Pluto receives positive aspects. However, difficult aspects may indicate that your child could be challenging to manage, potentially leading to power struggles in your relationship. Overall, this placement indicates that you have a close relationship with your children and are protective of them. But be careful not to be too possessive or controlling, as this could lead to rebellion from your child.
⚝Pluto in the 6th house⚝
If Pluto is in your sixth house, you may have a strong attachment to your daily routines, which are essential to your well-being. If you're unable to follow your routines, you may become stressed and anxious, and sometimes even display aggressive behavior as a way to cope. Your adherence to rituals may seem morbid or obsessive-compulsive to others. You may experience a transformation and gain wisdom and power in areas governed by this house, but it may also lead to power struggles, deep fear, and even trauma. It can be a difficult area to navigate, with no easy way out. To make the most of this placement, it's essential to acknowledge the hardships and confront your inner demons.
You might have a tendency towards manipulation. Pluto is associated with vast distances and hidden worlds, while the 6th House deals with clearly defined social functions and areas of action. This creates a paradoxical and ambiguous social role for you. Your demeanor may be unsettling on a professional level, and your hidden function may be effective because it is insidious and concealed. The placement of Pluto in the 6th house is believed to bring intensity and transformation to your daily work routine and health habits. People with this placement may have a strong desire for power and control in their job and may be drawn to careers that involve working with the darker side of human nature, like psychology or forensics. However, they may also struggle with issues related to power and control in the workplace and may need to learn to channel their energy more positively and productively.
It's crucial to avoid conflicts with colleagues or being pushed around by superiors. Instead, strive to establish a healthy and secure work environment. You may find yourself drawn to Scorpionic jobs that involve other people's money, death, crime, sex, investigation, psychology, research, or healing. It's crucial for individuals with this placement to find work they are passionate about. However, Pluto in the sixth house can also bring challenges, such as rivalries with coworkers or difficult relationships with bosses. Harsh Pluto's aspects may indicate a dictatorial attitude towards others in the workplace or a controlling coworker. As an employer, you may come across as intimidating and threatening to your workers. This placement can lead to clashes and power struggles in your work life. You may be a perfectionist who dislikes wasteful practices and responds poorly to criticism. You can also be possessive and competitive about your work. Pluto in the sixth house indicates a need for freedom and space to work effectively. Some people with this placement change jobs frequently due to conflicts in the workplace, leading to hardships but also growth opportunities. A well-aspected Pluto in the sixth house can signify great power and effectiveness in your work, as well as a talent for cutting through the superficial and getting to the heart of the matter.
The sixth house also governs the area of health. When Pluto is placed in this house, it can often push individuals to work so hard that their health is the only thing that can force them to take a break. This can result in health issues caused by high job pressure. Pluto in the 6th house can indicate a tendency towards obsessive or compulsive behaviors, particularly related to diet and exercise, which can affect your physical well-being. It is important to maintain a balanced and healthy approach to health and avoid becoming too fixated on routines. Power struggles at work can be a challenge for some. However, one positive aspect of Pluto in this placement is its strong regenerative ability. While individuals may be able to function on little resources for a time, it's important to strive for a more balanced lifestyle by paying attention to diet and exercise.
This placement can also indicate mental health issues such as phobias or anxiety. When Pluto is affected by hard aspects, individuals may experience mysterious health problems, chronic illnesses, or eating disorders. In these cases, it's crucial to seek professional help to overcome health issues, as well as gain psychological insights and guidance to improve daily life.
By embracing transformative experiences, even mundane activities can become intensely engaging. Adopting a powerful daily practice, including daily cleanses and developing healthy habits, can help transform your life. However, it's important to avoid becoming deeply involved in work unions or criminal activities and to stay focused on the task at hand without becoming obsessed or overworked. By embracing a powerful and balanced daily routine, one can regenerate their health and vitality and become a positive influence among coworkers.
Finally, the sixth house also represents pets. With Pluto in the sixth house, some individuals with this placement may have unconventional pets, such as snakes or spiders, and other powerful exotic animals. Meanwhile, others may prefer to have a very well-trained pet for hunting and/or sports, such as dogs or horses.
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⚝Pluto in the 7th house⚝
If Pluto is in your 7th house, it may indicate intense and transformative experiences in your close personal relationships. This placement suggests a desire for power and control in partnerships, which can lead to problems with manipulation or possessiveness. However, it can also result in deep and meaningful connections, as well as opportunities for growth and healing through these relationships. It's important to be mindful of the potential for power struggles and to strive for balance and mutual respect in all partnerships. This placement may suggest that you are drawn to a Plutonic personality, someone who has Pluto in their first house or is a Scorpio rising. This can apply not only to romantic partners and spouses but also to business partners and close friends.
The seventh house plays a significant role in marriage and relationships. When Pluto is located in the seventh house, it suggests that committed relationships can bring about a transformational process for you. Your life changes drastically after marriage, and you learn important life lessons through your relationships. Overcoming challenges in these relationships helps you find your power. However, Pluto in this position can make your relationships intense and dynamic, with strong emotions and a need for passion.
Unfortunately, deep bonding can be blocked by fear, and power struggles may arise. You may crave intimacy but be scared of it at the same time. It is common to experience control issues in relationships with Pluto in the seventh house, which can lead to a lack of balance. To make the relationship work, you need to learn to stand up for yourself and be treated as an equal. You may be attracted to dictatorial partners or be dictatorial yourself. There's a desire and appeal for uneven power dynamics and control. The seventh house is associated with harmony and balance, and a natal Pluto in the seventh house can achieve this by undergoing transformation. It is important to be aware of the possibility of abuse or domestic violence if harsh aspects to Pluto are present.
The seventh house is related to business partnerships and public relations. If you have a natal Pluto in the seventh house, it is advisable to avoid fast-paced partnerships, especially if it receives hard aspects. However, a well-aspected Pluto in the seventh house can be useful in working with the public. This placement is beneficial for individuals working in marketing, politics, law, or psychology, as it provides insight into human nature. Nevertheless, it is essential to behave appropriately with this placement, as Pluto is an unpredictable and erratic planet. A harmonious aspect to Pluto can help you understand people intuitively and excel in many professions. However, it is crucial to remain clear-headed and skeptical about relationships, as Pluto in the seventh house can bring secrets to light and damage your reputation. It is best to view relationships as temporary and not get too attached to them. You understand the illusory nature of social codes and keep your distance from relationships, especially intimate ones.
If you have a natal Pluto in the seventh house, it may indicate a deep-seated fear of forming close bonds with others. While you may crave the intimacy and security of committed relationships, you may also be hesitant to fully invest in them due to issues with trust and betrayal. This fear may even attract untrustworthy partners, leading to a pattern of unhealthy relationships. You may have experienced trauma related to committed relationships in the past. To find balance in your relationships, it's important to establish a sense of power dynamics. With Pluto in this house, there may be a struggle for power between you and your partner. It's important to choose partners who have a well-integrated Pluto, as those who live in the lower octave of Pluto can exhibit negative traits such as possessiveness and jealousy. Your relationship may have darker themes if your Pluto is afflicted, but easy aspects can indicate a strong-willed partner. Remember that you have power within yourself, and by finding it, you can break free from being a victim. Your seventh house planets may reveal parts of yourself that you don't identify with, and Pluto here suggests that you may not feel your power or be able to handle it. This may lead to an unconscious relinquishing of power to your partners.
⚝Pluto in the 8th house⚝
Having Pluto in the eighth house is a noteworthy placement. Scorpio is the natural ruler of the eighth house, which is a familiar place for Pluto. However, having an eighth house placement doesn't necessarily mean an easy life. From a young age, you are conscious of the darker aspects of life. With Pluto here, power holds great importance in your life and is often obtained through crisis, pain, or trauma. If you embrace the positive aspects of this placement, you can become a source of support and guidance for others, showing them that there is always a way out of difficult situations. This is a highly influential placement that can lead to professions with such specialty and mystique. Think of someone that is a psychiatrist for other psychiatrists, a mortician for other morticians, or a private investigator with psychic abilities. You desire something that involves exploring the depths of the psyche and the journey of the soul's evolution. It can also lead to complete psychic and soul makeovers or even the ability to resurrect one's own or another's soul. This placement has the potential to be both a necromancer and a grim reaper, if you believe as such, but it can also awaken a renewed passion for life. 
Individuals with their natal Pluto in the eighth house are known for their ability to overcome obstacles. Planets located in the eighth house tend to manifest themselves during times of crisis. This placement suggests that you possess a significant inner strength that you can rely on. The presence of Pluto in the eighth house can result in powerful transformations and intense experiences related to shared resources, intimacy, and psychological growth. It can also indicate a deep desire to explore the hidden aspects of oneself and others and to comprehend the mysteries of life and death. Additionally, it may suggest a potential for power struggles, manipulation, and obsession in relationships, as well as a tendency to attract intense and transformative experiences.
However, with awareness and conscious effort, this placement can also lead to profound healing, empowerment, and spiritual growth. It is important to approach this placement with respect, integrity, and a willingness to confront one's shadows and vulnerabilities. People with this placement are often drawn to taboo topics and the occult, such as life after death and magic. They may also have an interest in morbid things or horror movies, as they are fascinated by mysteries. However, this placement can create both a fascination with and fear of death.
Pluto in the eighth house also indicates that sexuality is an important aspect of your life, or that you have experienced painful and traumatic events related to it. If Pluto has easy aspects, individuals with this placement may have a high libido and be extremely passionate, even obsessive, about sex. With aspects from Mars or Saturn, they may be drawn to role-playing or have an obsession with violence. These individuals prefer to dominate in relationships as Pluto here is thrilled by power. Simultaneously, they may be afraid of being vulnerable and experiencing intimacy, as this placement can indicate trauma related to sexuality, betrayal, and trust issues. Rage may also be buried in the unconscious of individuals with this placement.
Individuals with Pluto in the eighth house possess a natural knack for psychology and can easily see through people's facades. Pluto has an all-seeing eye, making it impossible to keep secrets from those with this placement. However, despite their insight into others, these individuals tend to keep their secrets close to their chest and have likely learned from difficult experiences. They may struggle with intensity and obsessiveness, finding it challenging to let go and recognize when enough is enough. These tendencies can lead to complicated and tumultuous romantic relationships with emotional and psychological manipulation. Pluto in the eighth house can also indicate a willingness to use any means necessary to achieve their desires, especially when challenged or frustrated. Those with this placement may excel in finance-related careers, such as banking, financial advising, accounting, and investing. However, caution should be taken with Jupiter-Pluto aspects as this placement may also indicate involvement with criminal activity or the darker sides of Pluto's influence. Individuals with hard aspects to Pluto may encounter complications with inheritance or experience power struggles related to money within their family dynamic.
The eighth house is a crucial space in your life, though it may not be visited often. It is here where significant events occur, triggering a profound transformation process within you. If your natal Pluto resides in this house, you may experience more of these moments than the average person. This can make you a skilled sailor, as the saying goes, for a smooth sea never made one. You may find relationships unsatisfying unless they push you to the brink of psychological or emotional death. It's possible for you to feed off other people's trauma to recharge your batteries and demand peak experiences in intimate relationships. However, this can also make you a demanding or controlling partner, someone who wants to know all your secrets and personal information. Probe-like behavior can make others uncomfortable, and you may overestimate your psychological understanding while underestimating your psychological complexes. Remember that just because you have access to someone's secrets doesn't mean you understand them completely.
Individuals with this placement possess exceptional resilience, capable of enduring even the harshest of events. Pluto's influence here grants above-average regenerative abilities, allowing for survival in dangerous situations. However, one's interest in darker subjects may attract potential danger. A well-aspected Pluto, particularly in conjunction with Saturn, may indicate longevity. This placement may also bring about psychological challenges, requiring a purging of negative thoughts and attachments to break free from the karmic wheel. Though such transformations can be painful, they ultimately lead to great personal power. It is important to avoid becoming overly convinced of one's own opinions and adopting a dictatorial approach with a natal Pluto in the eighth house.
⚝Pluto in the 9th house⚝
Pluto in the ninth house indicates that you possess higher intelligence than most people. You have a natural curiosity about how the world operates, and you want to delve deeply into its workings. Your mind is deep and inquisitive due to this placement. This placement of Pluto suggests that you will undergo a profound transformation in your belief system and philosophical outlook. You may develop a keen interest in spiritual and metaphysical matters, as well as a desire to explore various cultures and ways of thinking. This sometimes results in a challenging and intense journey of self-discovery, but ultimately, it leads to a deeper understanding of yourself and the world. It is crucial to remain open-minded and receptive to new ideas and experiences if you have this placement, as it can lead to significant personal growth and transformation.
Individuals with Pluto in the ninth house have a keen ability to detect inconsistencies within the belief systems of those around them. This placement can transform travelers into spies and wise individuals into skeptical philosophers. You likely have little interest in rigid moral codes and commonly accepted explanations. Instead, you relish challenging traditional ideals and prefer to develop your concepts, even if they may not always be clear. Your analytical approach to exploration, travel, and discovery is often detached and critical, bordering on indifference. Superficial explanations are not enough for you, as Pluto urges you to delve deeper into the core of a matter. With this placement, you possess a powerful mind and frequently question beliefs instilled in you during childhood. Your belief system and perception of the world undergo deep transformation multiple times throughout your life. You possess a probing mind and can see beyond surface-level information, making you drawn to foreign religions and philosophies. There are often several soul-searching phases in your life that ultimately lead to profound transformation. While this placement primarily relates to mental transformation, some individuals may struggle with embracing change. Failure to recognize when you are wrong can hinder personal growth, but the ninth house's emphasis on expansion encourages growth. Being a mutable sign, Sagittarius, the natural sign of the ninth house, embraces change. Pluto, however, can be tyrannical and dictatorial, making it challenging to accept new ideas with hard aspects. You value honesty and directness in expressions and interactions with others but may struggle with feeling misunderstood. Those with Pluto in the ninth house may be captivated by foreign languages and cultures and often feel a sense of not belonging to their place of birth. A well-aspected Pluto in this placement can find power through contact with other cultures, while some may even spend a significant amount of time abroad.
With Pluto located in the ninth house of a person's natal chart, their personal philosophy holds great significance. This placement indicates a lifelong learner who is eager to educate themselves without necessarily relying on traditional institutions. As a result, subjects like religion and psychology may pique their interest, and they may possess a natural talent for research and investigation. However, a potential danger of this placement is the tendency to impose their beliefs onto others, which may lead to fanatical or bigoted behavior. It is crucial to avoid becoming dictatorial if they gain power in their communities. On the positive side, individuals with this placement may make inspiring teachers and have the courage to challenge outdated beliefs. Nonetheless, they may encounter difficulties with higher education, and some may drop out of college or experience study breaks. Furthermore, this placement can manifest as authority issues, but it can also support a career in education or research. 
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⚝Pluto in the 10th house⚝
When Pluto is in your tenth house, you'll develop a reputation as a powerful and influential individual in the world. You may find yourself engaged in power struggles, particularly in your professional life and interactions with authority figures. This is because the tenth house is associated with career and public image. Your ambition and drive to succeed are noteworthy, and you are willing to do whatever it takes to achieve your goals. However, you may feel like success is more difficult to attain than it is for others, particularly if your natal Pluto in the tenth house is harshly aspected. 
Having Pluto in the 10th house can lead to significant transformations and power struggles in your career and public image. It may compel you to confront and overcome deep-seated fears or power dynamics in your workplace. While it can also inspire a strong desire for success and recognition, it is important to be aware of any negative aspects of your ambition. With Pluto in the 10th house, it may be necessary to let go of old habits and embrace a new path that aligns with your true purpose and values. Overall, this placement can be both challenging and empowering, providing opportunities for growth and personal development in your professional and public life.
Pluto is a challenging planet in astrology, often bringing about difficult and even traumatic experiences in the areas it affects. With Pluto in the 10th House, you are skilled at navigating crises and complicated environments. Your progress in professional and social settings is subtle and unique, as you excel at operating behind the scenes and detecting weaknesses and false values. You are driven by your self-interests and have a scheming mind, making you a formidable partner in any venture. 
When considering career paths in your natal chart, there are many factors to take into account. However, with Pluto in the tenth house, it is one of the significant influencers. Possible career paths include psychology, investigation, research, surgery, politics, or other fields that involve hidden information. If there are other indicators in the chart, it may even indicate involvement with criminal activities. As you do your inner work and resolve your issues, you may find yourself drawn to a career in the medical field, as Pluto supports regeneration. This placement also lends itself well to careers that require extensive research or attention to detail, making you a great investigator. 
While Pluto can bring about unforeseen ups and downs in your career path, it also gives you the ability to bounce back and even reach greater heights. However, success with this placement takes time and patience, as the tenth house is naturally associated with Capricorn and Saturn, the ruler of time in astrology. As you mature, you learn to accept that permanent success takes time and to trust in the process. 
People with this placement are often ambitious and have a strong desire to achieve their goals. However, it is essential to develop a healthier and more respectful relationship with time and to avoid using force and power to get what you want. Through the struggle to recreate yourself, you will find your power and ultimately achieve success.
The placement of Pluto in the tenth house of your natal chart may indicate some conflict in your relationship with authority figures. If you feel that you have been treated unfairly, you are not afraid to stand up for yourself. This placement could also suggest that you may become an authoritative figure later in life.
The tenth house is also associated with the parental figures in your life. While traditionally, the father is associated with Saturn and the tenth house, any paternal figure, role model, mentor, or caregiver can be included. Pluto in the tenth house could indicate that the parent represented by this house was authoritarian, domineering, or even dictatorial (especially with hard aspects to Pluto). You may have felt intimidated or afraid of this parent, and they may have had a position of authority that was respected or even feared by others. If there are harmonious aspects to your Pluto in the tenth house, this parent may have had a strong personality, was determined, and had a strong will. They may have been an important influence in your life, teaching you strength and how to cope with challenges. Alternatively, if there are hard aspects to your Pluto in the tenth house, you may be at risk of becoming tyrannical, arrogant, selfish, or overly controlling with your power.
In addition to learning to cope with authority figures, this placement also suggests that you need to learn how to use your power in a healthy way. If you use your power for good, you may become a very powerful figure in your community. However, it is important to remember that with great power comes great responsibility. It is important to avoid becoming too domineering or controlling and to use your power constructively and positively. People may see you as mysterious and reserved, but also as someone who always has a trick up their sleeve.
⚝Pluto in the 11th house⚝
If Pluto is in your eleventh house, it's in the area of friends and organizations. This planet's mysterious and dark side can make it tough for you to fit in and compromise, but you can learn a lot from your interactions with groups of people. Pluto's placement in the 11th house can have a significant impact on your social life and relationships with friends and acquaintances. You may feel a strong urge to join groups or organizations dedicated to social change or transformation. Your desire for power and transformation can drive your relationships, and you may be drawn to those who can help you achieve your goals or further your agenda. However, it's important to avoid letting your desire for power and control take over your relationships with others. Keep a sense of balance and perspective in your social life and relationships, and be mindful of how your actions can affect others.
The eleventh house is closely associated with social groups, clubs, and organizations. However, it encompasses more than just your relationship with society. It also represents the universe's support for you and everything that comes into your life. Individuals with Pluto in the eleventh house may struggle to identify their goals clearly, even though they are ambitious and seek great achievements. Nonetheless, Pluto in the eleventh house suggests immense power to transform your dreams into reality. This planet is intense and influential, capable of magnifying things. When used effectively, it can be an excellent asset for fulfilling your hopes and dreams. People with this placement are future-oriented, often to the point of neglecting the present. Pluto in the eleventh house can lead to a preoccupation with ideas and difficulties in executing them in the present. Once conquered, however, this tendency can make you unstoppable. If Pluto is well-aspected in the eleventh house and in harmony with Jupiter, it can indicate potential wealth acquisition. The eleventh house is also associated with money, specifically money earned through your profession and cash flow in your life. Pluto can contribute to financial success with harmonious aspects, but hard aspects may suggest a willingness to do anything to achieve one's goals, even if it involves immoral means. It can also lead to difficulties in managing money.
Based on the placement of Pluto in your eleventh house, it appears that your interest lies in the study of people and their social behavior. You are fascinated by group dynamics and social phenomena, and you strive to comprehend how people function. This helps you understand yourself better as well. You are drawn to criminal groups, cartels, secret societies, large-scale covert operations, and other similar organizations. However, you are also aware of the negative impact these groups have on society. You have an intense desire to control your social relationships and are known to struggle with building and maintaining friendships. You can be highly intense and may have experienced betrayal or a traumatic event related to your friends in the past. As a result, you tend to be guarded and find it difficult to trust others. You prefer to be alone than in bad company and prioritize maintaining power and control in your social circles. If someone has hard aspects to Pluto in their natal chart, they may exhibit dictatorial or domineering behavior when in a group setting. This can create tension, and it's important to strive for balance. It's necessary to adjust your beliefs and attitude towards groups of people. Although you have a strong desire to belong, achieving this can be a long journey. With Pluto in the eleventh house, you crave acceptance but often feel lonely even when surrounded by others. It can be challenging to fit in and find your place. Despite feeling like a loner, it's important to learn how to connect with others and build a network. Unfortunately, some people with this placement may experience traumatic events, such as abuse or betrayal, that force them to reexamine their beliefs about people and society. Through these experiences, however, they can gain wisdom and learn how to heal themselves.
Having Pluto in the eleventh house can bring loyal and supportive friends who have strong personalities like you. You can discuss topics that others may find morbid, such as the occult or life after death. Friendships with Pluto in the 11th House are dynamic and evolve over time. Your conception of the world and ideals are not absolute but rather emphasize the futility of principles and ideas. Your most significant relationships always maintain a degree of mystery, and you distrust universally accepted truths. Your network helps you achieve your goals and learn about various aspects of life. You may find your power through understanding group dynamics, and can even take on an important role in an organization with this placement. Harmonious aspects of Pluto in the eleventh house suggest powerful and supportive friends who can help you turn your dreams into reality. However, with hard aspects to Pluto, it is important to be careful about who you associate with, as envious friends who do not have your best interests at heart may try to manipulate you or bring trouble upon you. Additionally, it is important to respect others' opinions and not think that you know everything best. Pluto in the eleventh house may also draw you to social causes or humanitarian work, and can even make you a powerful and revolutionary leader with well-aspected Pluto in this placement. However, some people with a natal Pluto in the eleventh house may also become members of secret groups or have secret friendships, and there may be indicators in the natal chart for social anxiety.
⚝Pluto in the 12th house⚝
If Pluto is located in the 12th house of your birth chart, it could indicate a strong connection to your subconscious mind. This placement suggests that you may have a desire to explore the deeper aspects of your psyche and inner world. You may also have a fascination with spirituality, mysticism, and the occult, as well as a yearning to understand the workings of the universe on a profound level. At times, you may feel like you are struggling with powerful forces that are beyond your control, which can lead to intense dreams or nightmares. However, with Pluto in the 12th house, you have the potential to harness these energies and use them for personal transformation and growth. It is important to note that this placement can also indicate a tendency towards self-destructive behaviors or escapism as a way of avoiding intense emotions and psychic energies. By confronting these challenges head-on and integrating them into your conscious awareness, you can unlock a powerful source of personal power and transformation. With Pluto in the 12th house, you may have a strong connection with mysticism, ordeals, and the afterlife, and possess exceptional sensitivity. When expressed negatively, this configuration may lead to an interest in macabre subjects and paradoxical sexuality, as well as a tendency to perceive ghostly enemies. However, when expressed positively, it encourages you to attribute a transcendental value to your actions, thoughts, and life.
Pluto in the twelfth house suggests that you are restricted from finding your power. Tapping into your power is not impossible, but it requires a lot of work and developing self-awareness. This placement often indicates anxiety and detachment from your deep desires. This placement suggests that you find it hard to identify with things represented by Pluto, such as power, sex, and violence. Planets in the twelfth house are not integrated into your personality. You possess all the power Pluto gives us, but it is locked up in the twelfth house, hidden from you. You are blocked from accessing it. In other cases, you unconsciously try to sweep this planet under the carpet. Pluto in the twelfth house can indicate that you were told not to be powerful as a child. Perhaps power was said to be immoral or bad, and you learned that it is unsafe and unethical to want it. The same is true for sexuality. People with this placement have a strong sexuality, but they often feel ashamed of it and they are aware of their desires only on an unconscious level. This placement can indicate problems with your sexuality. Pluto in the twelfth house is often a sign of unhealthy power dynamics in your childhood. Perhaps one of your parents was dictatorial and domineering, while the other parent could not express their power and took up the role of the martyr. This placement can indicate abuse in childhood. This can be emotional, physical abuse, or sexual. This experience can be suppressed in the subconscious, but it is often the root of self-destructive behavior.
If you have a natal Pluto in the twelfth house, you may have a fear of losing control. Control is very important to you, and although the planets in the twelfth house are repressed, they have not disappeared. You may unconsciously fear that Pluto will be set free. This placement suggests that you may experience power struggles in your mind. You may be hard on yourself and tend to beat yourself up. You may also use shadowy, manipulative tactics to gain power, such as playing the martyr or emotionally manipulating others. You may not even be aware of these mind games, but others may feel them. If there are hard aspects and other indicators in your chart, Pluto in the twelfth house can indicate crime or prostitution. People with this placement often struggle with low self-esteem and may feel helpless or lack self-confidence. A strong Sun in your natal chart or harmonious aspects from Mars can help counteract this. A well-aspected and well-placed Pluto can give you a lot of strength, but when it is located in the twelfth house, it is hidden from you. If Pluto is close to the ascendant, it may indicate a traumatic birth or near-death experience. Hard aspects of Pluto in the twelfth house can also indicate trouble with sleep or nightmares. Pluto in this placement may explain suffering through startling and dark dreams.
You may tend to be reserved due to your placement in the twelfth house. While this can be a natural inclination, it's important to be mindful of not suppressing your emotions. Finding ways to de-stress through physical activity can be a helpful outlet for any tension or pent-up emotions you may be experiencing.
It's worth noting that a strong emphasis on this house in your birth chart may make you particularly sensitive, both emotionally and physically. Additionally, if Pluto is also in the twelfth house, there is a potential for psychosomatic illnesses. This placement can also cause feelings of anxiety, not belonging, or unworthiness. In some cases, individuals may even use illness as a way to avoid coping with reality.
To address any potential challenges related to this placement, it's crucial to find balance and address any unconscious guilt that may be present. Pluto in the twelfth house can lead to self-punishment or attraction to toxic partners, so it's important to learn to let go and spend time alone. Meditation and spiritual practices can be helpful in this regard, as well as developing a talent for psychology and a natural insight into human nature. By focusing on these areas, you can help ensure that you can navigate any challenges that may arise in a healthy, productive way.
⚝──⭒─⭑─⭒──⚝⚝──⭒─⭑─⭒──⚝⚝──⭒─⭑─⭒──⚝⚝──⭒─⭑─⭒──⚝
Bye Cunts <3
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thebirthofvenusfly · 5 months
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hi i was raised in a home daycare for over 20 years and studied child development and psychology in school for 3 and would like to gush about why i love how bonnie was written and how they're one of the few kids in games i've played that Actually Feel Like a Kid:
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firstly: bonnie's diction
bonnie cursing like a sailor is honestly pretty accurate for a kid aged like 9-14 and i distinctly remember having a huge cursing phase of my own at that age too so LMAO
they ask a lot of questions adjacent to a kids' understanding/confusion of things, social norms, situations, feelings, etc. (the conversation about the actors kissing in that play they saw and how they MUST have had an invisible paper between their lips because nobody would REALLY kiss on stage in front of everybody!)
they can be incredibly blunt but often not with the intention to hurt feelings rather than genuinely acquire information (sometimes with some sass b/c of previous conditioning.) ex. "Our teacher always tells us we have to speak up more... You're an adult so why don't you speak up more?" (Precedent/Conditioning; "Adult in position of power and authority has ingrained it is important to use my voice." -> "Why don't you, an adult who should know better, use yours more then?")
they have a tendency to confidently and casually use words and phrases they don't fully understand or know ("Air-no-no-nomic" -> this especially being something picked up by a fellow kid and just trusted that) (struggling to say, "pomegranate" (very cute watching odile help them with it :,) ) (struggling to say onigiri -> purposely messing this up to get a playful reaction out of dile, a party member they're especially close to, was also very sweet)
it's hard to discuss feelings. they're more likely to use a vessel as a means of connecting to someone else before being able to assign words to everything (offering a peach to siffrin in the classroom because they recognize he's upset without fully understanding why, then waiting for him to address the situation)
secondly: how bonnie handles feelings towards the others and about their Scenario
tendency to hold onto hard, serious, difficult-to-breach subjects and then explode and scream when addressed (ex. Rotten Adults quest)
slightly more partial to physical touch than verbal affirmation (hugs, hugs, hugs! including the little half-hugs they do where they just run into siffrin's side...)
jabbing siffrin in the stomach as a show of example for touching them LMAO???
recounting stories and information that interests them without regard for how socially appropriate it is or why others may react poorly (ex. talking to the party about how nille ran away with them and why she did)
unspoken guilt and trauma causing disconnection from people they love (siffrin's eye situation)
just a few examples and thoughts i liked
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a-very-tired-jew · 6 months
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You're not as informed as you think, and age does play a factor.
This is going to ruffle some feathers, but it needs to be said. You're not as informed on the I/P Conflict and the history of the region as you think, and age plays a major factor. Hell, you're not as informed on a lot of topics as you think. I want you to think about what you were doing 5 years ago. Were you still running around on the playground? Were you making dioramas for a science class? Were you in high school worried about being a first year? Were you just starting to pick out colleges or deciding to even go? Did you ever call a teacher by their first name? Now, there is a line that we hear thrown about that people don't fully mature till they're 25. While this is bupkis and misrepresents the research, it is true that the brain does not stop developing till sometime in the mid to late 20s. In fact, the brains of undergraduates age 18-22 and their respective thought patterns more closely resemble high schoolers than they do mid 20s and above. So what does this mean in the course of the I/P conflict? For one thing, this is your first incident. Your first I/P war. Those of us in our 30s and above have seen a good number of them at this point. I even remember when the use of child suicide bombers became a standard method for Hamas and other terrorist groups during the Second Intifada. As such, many of us are used to the manipulation that we see in this particular region. We're used to seeing antisemitism be dismissed and well intentioned people be manipulated. Many of us are just tired because you're going through the same shit we did at your age and we look back and go "oh, we were severely misinformed". Because this is your first, you're super passionate about it, but that passion can be manipulated. Second, you're not as smart or well informed as you think you are. This has to do with the age and maturation thing mentioned above. While 25 is an arbitrary number, there are some milestones that happen by then. By 25 you have had enough life experience to really start piecing together your education, your life experiences, your world experiences, and your respective beliefs into a coherent way of approaching topics. Hopefully by that age you're less likely to have the emotional outburst in response to a subject (think about the stereotypical slamming the door teenager behavior, many of us did that and we cringe thinking about it) and more likely to approach something in a levelheaded and informed manner. Unfortunately there is some research that shows evidence that Gen Z and Millenials are susceptible to propaganda and misinformation, with the former exhibiting behavior akin to Boomers. So keep that in mind that none of us are safe for misinformation, but some generations are worse than others. Now, who am I to say this to you? Some of you are quite mad right at the moment. Some of you have strived to be seen as well informed young adults or to be taken seriously, and in some cases you are. However...
I'm in my 30s and I have been teaching at the college level for a decade and some change now. By no means am I an expert, but I have enough experience to say something. The ages I teach are 18+, meaning I've had students that are typical fresh high school grads and students that are in their 50s. Myself and my colleagues have heard repeatedly from students the "I'm an adult, I know what I'm doing" line to only watch that 18-22 y.o. student fail miserably or come crying to us later. I have personally watched students go through the stages of grief as they realized in my classes that their pet science activism is not what they thought, but they've wrapped so much of their identity around it. You're still learning, and thinking you know more just because you read something online is an issue. You're also still growing and developing as a person. Recognize that you can be manipulated. Recognize that you can be wrong. Recognize your own inherent biases. Then do better.
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agendabymooner · 10 months
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SOMETHING DESIRED !!! TOTO W. X FEM!READER (18+)
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summary: "don't mix business with pleasure" they said, but who were they to stop her and toto from wanting each other?
content warning: smut under the cut (minors dni!), based on a request from my ask, use of explicit language, rbr test driver!horner!reader (christian's sister), forbidden love trope-ish, porn with plot, unprotected sex (plz don't do that), office sex, lowk filthy, size kink (heavy on this), choking, dacryphilia
song rec: now by trouble maker
note: this is the closest thing you'll ever have to a fic where a horner and a wolff banged. enjoy xx
something sinful (smut) masterlist
a - n masterlist
o - z masterlist
if you’d like to get on one of my taglists, check this post out
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she wanted him. and he wanted her too. he just refused to let his desires give in to save face.
and she hated it so much. she hated that she saw him as someone else’s younger sister and nothing else. 
she hated that she was even related to christian horner of all people. she usually didn’t care about christian— she had no reason to dislike him as he’d been nothing but a caring brother. she just hated that toto wolff saw her as nothing but an extension to christian’s surname. 
she supposed that’s what would happen as she entered the motorsports industry later than he did. it wasn’t her fault that christian was twenty years older than her.
it wasn’t his fault either. but to be told that you were off limits to every single man in the grid and every team? she loathed her brother so much.
because amongst those men that christian horner had warned, the mercedes amg team principal became the subject of her interest— and her desire for him grew as her brother and toto wolff became friends outside of their teams. 
“you don’t have to mix business with pleasure,” she almost scoffed when christian told her about his friendship with toto.
how hypocritical, she thought, because even i’m not allowed to see drivers or staff outside of business hours for ‘pleasurable’ reasons. 
at the age of 30, many would’ve expected her to be shackled to some man outside of the industry— probably married to him with a child. 
yet here she was, a single woman whose title as a test driver for red bull racing expired a few weeks ago. she appreciated the opportunity given by her brother— the team principal, really. but the longer she worked for his team the longer his big brother act would prevent her from wanting anyone. 
and if christian told her that she couldn’t have anyone, then he too couldn’t have her intelligence that helped bring his team to success.
and when the rumours of her contract’s expiration went around the pit lane— every team scouted her. after all, this horner was an important asset to red bull’s success for this season and the season ahead of them.
she could’ve accepted scuderia ferrari’s offer. amongst the desperate teams that rolled the red carpet for her, the scarlet team offered her a large sum of money. they wanted her knowledge in car development as much as they wanted her expertise in driving. 
yet she didn’t choose the money. instead, she found herself sitting across from the mercedes team principal. why?
“you’ve been looking well,” toto started, his eyes trained on her as he spoke, “did your brother’s team stress you out that much?” 
“being in that team is stressful, alright,” she scoffed, earning a deep chuckle from toto as she continued, “30 years old and i’m still being treated like i’m sixteen. all they wanted was my brain— yet my brother kept me on a tight leash as if i didn’t know any better outside this industry.” 
“so now you’ve decided to let your contract expire,” toto said with a nod of understanding. “he can’t do so much about it. you’re a free woman.”
“i’ve always been,” she gave him a grim smile and quipped, “all the men in our business just refused to believe that because of who my brother was.”
“you were a younger woman,” toto said with a gulp, “it was only right of christian to protect you like he did.”
“and five years later, i’ve grown,” she bit back.
“you are still his younger sister,” toto reasoned. he knew where the younger horner was getting at here. 
there was an unspoken agreement between the two that they wanted each other. they’ve agreed on it during dinners, during their family vacations and during those days when toto wolff was invited into christian’s home and she was there too.
they’ve always agreed on it. yet toto was letting her down like this— like the agreement should remain unspoken and unheard of. 
“are you seriously going to let his stupid mouth and his whole big brother act dictate what you want, toto?” she asked with a hint of irritation in her tone. “i’m not christian— and he’s not me because he doesn’t know how much you fucking want me. and i do. i do understand.” 
“i allowed myself a couple of months— months to decide on whether or not i was going to stay in his team,” she continued. “i could’ve signed before the season was over but i didn’t. because this gives me the chance to work with your team— to work with you.”
“this,” she pointed at the contract in front of her. “gives me the chance to make you realize that i’m not just an extension to your friend’s name. that your feelings for me shouldn’t be deterred by your friendship with my brother— who i want nothing to do with because it’s not his life that’s being put on hold. it’s mine.”
she let out a heavy sigh and chuckled humourlessly. “but i suppose we shouldn’t mix business with pleasure.”
he merely stared at her as she stood up. she flashed him a smile as if she hadn’t just gone off and berated him for listening too much to christian. 
then she said, “i’ll come back next week. i’m expecting the contract agreement to be modified by then so we can finalize the deal.”
yeah, who the fuck was christian for him to dictate who she wanted and who toto wanted? 
the door slammed shut as she turned around, the gap between her and toto was little to nothing as his breath fanned across her face. he dipped his head and captured her lips in a lustful kiss. 
she almost moaned at the feeling of his tongue tangling with hers. her body burned in desire as she craved for more. 
toto wanted more too, and she could tell that by the way he ravaged her without hesitation. 
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his office at the factory was filled with nothing but silent screams and sounds of low growl and skin slapping. everybody had left hours before she arrived at the factory. 
thankfully the mercedes staff wouldn’t have to hear their employer fucking the most scouted talent at the pit lane right now— and even if they did, it was in their best interest to keep their mouth shut about it. 
but toto and the woman couldn’t find themselves to care at the moment, both were too drawn to each other as toto’s cock thrusted into her deeply. 
she held into the leather couch and cried quietly, tears threatening to fall from the pleasure that she felt when his cock continued to rub against the sensitive spot that nestled inside her cunt. 
“fuck, schatz,” toto hissed from behind her, pulling her back against his chest as he wrapped his hand around her neck and squeezed it lightly. she gasped, catching the last of her breath before he let go and kept his hand around her. 
then his other hand took hers and placed her palm flat against her stomach, making her squirm and moan. “do you feel that, liebling? that’s my cock. such a filthy girl- wanting a big cock inside this little pussy of hers,” he chuckled darkly as he continued to fuck her.
she loved the feeling of it— his cock buried in her cunt while he manhandled her body. the constant protrusion in her stomach drove her wild. she had always known that toto was taller and bigger than most— she just hadn’t expected to crave for more when she felt her lower stomach bulging as he fucked her. 
“so desperate f’me,” he muttered, bottoming out inside of her as she whined. her whining subsided when he squeezed her throat again.
“ah shit~” she gasped breathlessly, feeling the pressure around her neck increasing as her eyes rolled back in pleasure. 
“so fucking tight,” toto grunted in her ear, nipping on it as he continued to fuck her relentlessly. “is this what i’ve been missing out on, then? your desperation for me and for my cock, hm?”
and when his grip loosened, she let out a sigh and quietly whimpered, “yes— wanted your cock so bad, toto.”
“you’ve got it now, schatz,” he muttered, moaning at her walls throbbing around him as he continued, “i fucked my cock at the thought of you, you know? wanted to fuck you so bad as much as you wanted me.”
“stroked my cock when you wore those short dresses,” he taunted, earning a whimper from her as she continued to listen to his filthy words, “wishing it’s your hands. i could just hear your voice telling me how your hands couldn’t even wrap themselves around my cock- you are so small in comparison to me— i can’t believe this cunt of yours could even fit all of me.”
“toto, i- i,” she whined, “‘m- ah, hah~ ‘m gonna cum.”
“i know, liebling,” his thrusting became frantic as he chased his high and hers. “i can feel your cunt around me— you’re about to cum aren’t you?”
“mhm— toto pleaseee~” she cried out, “please cum inside me.”
“yeah? you want me to cum inside you?” he hummed in pleasure, “do you want me to fuck this pussy of yours ‘til you’re full of my cum?” 
“ye- yes, yes!” she exclaimed, mewling as she continued to plead, “‘s so- so good. so fucking good— please fill me up!” 
“how bad do you want it?” he could feel himself nearing his orgasm as well, but he couldn’t help himself. “tell me. how bad do you want it, liebling?”
“soooo bad~ god! toto,” she sobbed.
“it’s just me, liebling, there’s no need to call me god,” he chuckled one last time as he groaned loudly, feeling her spongy walls clenching around him as she let out a loud whine. “fuuuuck~ schatz, i’m gonna— oh fuck!” 
his cock twitched against her walls and painted them white, his thrusting slowing down as he let out a long sigh. 
pulling out of her, toto sat on the couch and observed her tear stained face with a smile. his large hand pulled her body on his lap, hearing her breath quiver as she gathered her composure.
“this better not be the last time, toto,” she whispered in his ear, wrapping her arms around his neck with a soft sigh. 
he chuckled quietly, “you’re working alongside me now, schatz. and you’re stuck with me outside of work. i know this isn’t the last time.” 
don’t mix business with pleasure? sure. 
after all, business brought stress. pleasure took the stress away. 
toto knew that she’d be able to handle both. he was nothing but proud of her. he couldn’t believe that this resilient woman finally became his. 
he wouldn’t let go of her that easily. not when he finally had her.
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♡ moony’s reminder 🅶 (general): @hiraethrhapsody @avaleineandafryingpan @topguncultleader @enhacolor
♡   moony’s reminder 🅴 (explicit edition): @glitterf1
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Youssou N'Dour and Neneh Cherry - 7 Seconds 1994
Youssou N'Dour is a Senegalese singer, songwriter, musician, composer, occasional actor, businessman, and politician. From April 2012 to September 2013, he was Senegal's Minister of Tourism. N'Dour helped develop a style of popular Senegalese music known by all Senegambians (including the Wolof) as mbalax, a genre that has sacred origins in the Serer music njuup tradition and ndut initiation ceremonies. He is the subject of the award-winning films Return to Gorée (2007) directed by Pierre-Yves Borgeaud and Youssou N'Dour: I Bring What I Love (2008) directed by Elizabeth Chai Vasarhelyi. In 2006, N'Dour was cast as Olaudah Equiano in the film Amazing Grace.
"7 Seconds" is a song N'Dour wrote and performed together with Swedish-Sierra Leonean singer-songwriter Neneh Cherry. The song is trilingual as N'Dour sings in three languages: French, English and the West African language Wolof. The title and refrain of the song refers to the first moments of a child's life; as Cherry put it, "not knowing about the problems and violence in our world". N'Dour featured the song on his seventh studio album, The Guide (Wommat) (1994), while Cherry included it on her 1996 album Man.
It was a worldwide hit, peaking within the top 10 of the charts in several countries, including Australia, Austria, Belgium, Brazil, Germany, Ireland, the Netherlands, Sweden, Paraguay and the UK. It climbed to the top position in Finland, France, Iceland, Italy and Switzerland. It stayed at number one for 16 consecutive weeks on the French Singles Chart, which was the record for the most weeks at the top position at the time. On the Eurochart Hot 100, the song reached number two. It won the MTV Europe Music Award in the category for Best Song of 1994.
"7 Seconds" received a total of 45,3% yes votes. :'(
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ash-says · 6 months
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Tips for Dysfunctional Family Girlies Part 2:
1) Get your basics straight. Education. Boundaries. Financial independence. Further breaking it down and linking it if you get proper education at some point you are bound to get an awareness of this world, if you are able to adapt and improvise yourself and develop your emotional intelligence and get your boundaries straight you will save yourself a lot of unnecessary drama and problems. Education (formal and informal) both will help you in gaining opportunities and if you are financially independent, you are holding the power to make your own decisions.
2) Develop thick skin. Your mom is calling you names. Slut, whore and what not. Your dad doesn't trust you and abuses you physically. So, what now? Are you going to let them define what you are or internalize the anger and use it as a fuel to become successful? Choice is yours.
3) They say you don't owe an explanation to anyone. Sorry to burst your little bubble. Actually you do. We live in a society and have relationships that we need to maintain for survival. This hyper independent stuff is only good to read. We have responsibilities that we need to fulfill. If you don't owe an explanation to anyone then don't cry about a closure from someone too. If you can live by this go ahead and practice it.
4) Stop isolating yourself. That's it. That's the point.
5) First kill the fear inside you. Being a rebel outside the house is no good. Be disciplined. Know how to manipulate your family members in your favor and if you can't just find the weak points and threaten. I know it's difficult to implement but you learn through trial and error. Plus something is better than nothing.
6) Stop glorifying people who treat you with kindness and love. That's the bare minimum. Just because you didn't get it served in a silver spoon doesn't mean it is not served in a silver spoon. People can have ulterior motives and even if they don't fix it in your brain that's normal. No rose colored glasses allowed.
7) Don't be afraid of indulging in your sexuality. No I am not saying go and have sex with people. I mean it in a deeper sense. Connect with the repressed sexual side and try to find healthy outlets. Don't dim yourself to fit in others'expectations or to ease someone's insecurity. Be unapologetic about your wants and desires. Know yourself. It's a powerful energy source if you know how to use it positively.
8) Cry, cry and cry. Wail like a child. No need to keep it all in. No need to act like a macho woman BUT only in front of your god or your belief system. Max in front of your truly trusted people.
9) Question everything as easily as breathing. Doubt every thing. Every action. Every person. What proof do you have to not doubt ? Stop giving benefit of doubts. Stop looking for excuses on how they could be good and instead look for ways in which they can harm you. That's your lottery to be poised and composed. It's just what it is.
10) Obsession. We have it in loads. That's natural to us. So the trick here is to be obsessive. Hella obsessive but about things, topics, goals, subjects, inanimate things,etc. God forbid but never be obsessive about a person. Not even over your dead body. Why? For that I need to make another detailed post I think.
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youremyheaven · 6 months
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Jupiter Dominant Women & Daddy Issues
TW: mentions of rape, abuse, suicide etc
Over the years of my studies, I have noticed that its Jupiter dominant women who tend to have daddy issues more than any other planetary dominance. Solar women (Uttarashada, Uttaraphalguni & Krittika) tend to benefit from positive male influence in their early life, so they have healthy Yang qualities (they're driven, self-motivated, critical thinking) whereas women who haven't had a healthy male influence in their early lives, either develop a heightened but fragile femininity (understood in a very traditional way, this means being passive and excessively reliant on others to get by, I know this is misogynistic but i am talking strictly about a traditional notion of femininity) or they cultivate inner masculinity.
Jupiter is a masculine planet and across the naks of Punarvasu, Vishaka and Purvabhadrapada, women tend to have a very unguarded, open, almost masculine presence. I mean this in terms of what they talk about or how self-assured they seem, traditionally women were expected to be more withdrawn or to talk little. I don't mean to say Jupiterian women are brash or aggressive, they're very poised, and elegant and put across their point eloquently. They're 9/10 times very well-spoken. When one lacks the security of a male figure early in life, one tends to cultivate inner masculinity because it's understood that you cannot rely on any man.
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Caroline Polachek, Punarvasu Moon, has spoken about her difficult relationship with her father on numerous occasions. Here's a link to a post where she talks about it. Her lack of a father figure in her own words caused her to be "self-sufficient". Notice how in the post, she speaks about making amends with him later in life and even ended the post with "love you dad". This is the kind of generosity that you don't see from most other nakshatra types. To forgive someone who was never there for you/abused you/hurt you/caused you immense pain, requires a great deal of strength and maturity and not everybody has it. Punarvasu's innate nature is to absorb everything into its orbit and always be the bigger person. Due to the vast, abundant nature of Jupiter, they are ABLE to, accept these people for all their contradictions and see them as flawed, which makes it easier to forgive them. Most people let their traumas define their identity (im not saying traumas don't shape you, only about the kind of perception most people have about their own traumas) and spend their whole lives blaming others for who they've become or what they've done to them. To live a peaceful life, one has to take the high road, look beyond everything and see it as a part of life. It sounds very callous when I say it like that but that's what I mean. Not everyone is capable of being the bigger person or taking the high road.
Jupiter is the guru or teacher and how would one describe an ideal teacher? Someone who forgives the mistakes of their students as having risen out of immaturity and forgives them for not knowing better or being better. A teacher is forced to operate on a higher moral plane than others simply because chaos would descend if the teacher came down to the level of others. They are figures of wisdom, knowledge and higher learning, therefore their behaviour has to reflect the same. Jupiter natives are harshly punished for behaving in ways that are not fit for a "guru" because subconsciously society/those around them subject them to a different standard. Others can do the same exact thing and not suffer any consequences but when a Jupiter native behaves that way, they're ostracized. People kind of expect them to have it all together or be better. Any lapse on their part is judged harshly.
One of the biggest mysteries is how Jupiter natives emerge from often brutally abusive and neglectful childhoods into relatively well-adjusted adults. In the case of famous parent-child situations, there is public proof of their wrongdoing but in numerous other instances many do not believe Jupiter natives to have suffered the way they have or to the extent they have simply because on the outside they seem to have it all/seem so put together. This is yet another manifestation of Jupiter's duality and this not being believed/seen for who they are/how they've lived can be a source of pain/grief for some of these natives whilst others like to pretend it never happened and present a very positive view of their life. They don't hold grudges and often simply overlook the horrible nature of their loved ones, especially their parents and try to make amends with them.
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Drew Barrymore, Punarvasu Moon, comes from a very famous family of actors but her father John Barrymore was a violent alcoholic and a drug addict who abandoned her & her mother when she was a child. She did not have any relationship with him and seldom spoke to him until he was diagnosed with cancer. She took care of him and even paid his medical bills until he passed away in 2004. Here's an IG post where she talks about her dad. It's so touching to see the compassion with which Punarvasu natives talk about people who've hurt them so much (in her memoir, Drew recalls how one time her father picked her up as a three-year-old and threw her against the wall). Truly, I don't see this level of kindness in any other nakshatra if I'm being honest. This is a photograph of her with Steven Spielberg who directed her in E.T when she was 7 years old, he's kind of a godfather figure to her and she apparently asked him to be her dad when she was a kid 🥺🥺
I also think Jupiter natives have a complicated relationship with their mothers as well, sometimes they're extremely close but other times, I think Jupiter natives feel the need to be their mother's saviour because they know how much she's gone through in her life. This manifests itself in a very complicated relationship. There is love but there is also a lot of bitterness.
Drew Barrymore has a very complicated relationship with her mother, who used to date the men Drew dated, pushed her into acting and exploited her as a child and admitted her to a psych ward when she was 12 among other things. Drew still takes care of her financially and has mentioned that her mother has even tried to steal money from her.
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Charlotte Gainsbourg, Punarvasu Moon is the daughter of Serge Gainsbourg and Jane Birkin. Her parents separated when she was a child and she lived with her father. In 1984, she did a duet with her father and starred in the music video for a song called Lemon Incest which describes an incestuous relationship between father & daughter. She was 12 years old at the time.
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The music video is creepy, to say the least and features both of them half-naked in bed together. In 1986 when she was 14, she starred with her father in a movie called Charlotte For Ever which is about an alcoholic man whose only link to life is his daughter (Serge was an alcoholic). She has spoken about how difficult the filming experience was for her as he would push her to her extremes.
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Here's a very uncomfortable clip of him kissing her on the mouth when she wins a Cesar. She is 16 years old.
Jane Birkin commented on the song saying "It never came as a shock or a surprise or even a worry [to her], knowing Serge's great love for Charlotte". Many believe that Birkin enabled Serge's abuse of their daughter since she left him due to his alcoholism and violence but left Charlotte in his care. She has also stated that her mother would always dress her up as a little boy when she was a child and that this complicated her relationship with her femininity.
Charlotte has only ever said good things about both her parents and denied any abuse.
She's also starred in multiple films directed by Lars Von Trier where she plays gruesome sexually depraved characters and Lars is well known for being difficult to work with. She has said that she sought fatherly approval from him ._. and again has only said good things about him.
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Kali Uchis, Punarvasu Sun, Vishaka Moon & Rising has spoken about being abused as a child and that she no longer maintains contact with her family. She was kicked out of the house when she was 17 and slept in her car and worked at a supermarket for years to support herself.
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Halsey, Punarvasu Moon. She grew up poor and has spoken about her difficult childhood, both she & her mother suffer from bipolar disorder and in her song Whispers she sings “Why do you need love so badly?/ Bet it's bеcause of her daddy." In the Armchair Expert podcast, she said that she has both "mommy and daddy issues".
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Mariah Carey, Punarvasu Moon, has published a very revealing memoir about her life where she chronicles the abuse she experienced from her family. She had a moderately good relationship with her dad but was estranged from him as an adult. Her mother however continually exploited her for money.
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Miley Cyrus, Vishaka Moon has a complicated relationship with both her parents. Currently, she's not on speaking terms with her father after he married a woman around Miley's age.
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Beyonce, Vishaka Moon has been performing since she was a child and was in a girl group Destiny's Child which was managed by her father. She dropped him as her manager in 2011 and in the same year, his divorce from her mother was also finalized. He had apparently fathered a love child with another woman in 2009 and this was the reason for their divorce. Some speculate that they are now estranged but in typical Jupiter fashion, she has never bad-mouthed him in public. Jupiter natives do not air their dirty laundry in public ever. Their grace and dignity even in the face of extreme humiliation/shame/pressure is commendable.
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Jennie, Vishaka Moon is very close to her mother but she's never mentioned her father in the 8 years since her debut. In the Blackpink documentary, she said that growing up it was just her and her mom. In this interview she spoke about living with her mother and how she never got a chance to spend much time at home as she was sent to boarding school at 8 years old. She remarks that she and her mom are like sisters but she's never said anything about her relationship with her dad, ever. I am not going to assume that they have a bad relationship but I thought it would be interesting to mention.
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Demi Moore, Vishaka Sun
Moore was born to a 19-year-old mother and her biological father left before she was born. The actress' mom remarried a man who worsened her problems with alcohol, which led to violence and instability. The family moved many times throughout Moore's childhood and when she was 17, her stepfather committed suicide. In the early '80s, she embarked on her acting career and helped her mother stay in rehab throughout the years. In 1997, her mother was diagnosed with brain cancer and she reunited with her in the final months before her death.
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Lily Collins, Purvabhadrapada Sun
Lily had a strained relationship with her dad growing up��Because my dad was often gone, I never wanted to do anything that would make him stay away even longer,” she wrote. “I became extra careful about what I said and how I said it, afraid he'd think I was angry or didn't love him"
She penned an open letter that said: "I forgive you for not being the dad I expected. But it's not too late”.
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Alia Bhatt, Purvabhadrapada Sun has said that growing up she saw very little of her filmmaker father Mahesh Bhatt who is known in the media for being a very problematic figure. He once posed for a magazine cover in the 90s with his daughter Pooja Bhatt where they're kissing on the lips (Pooja is Alia's half-sister) and said that he would have married her if she weren't his daughter 🤮🤮Mahesh is known for being a very temperamental man (you'll be hard pressed to find a video of him not screaming) and it's quite well known that he and Alia's mother had a pretty rocky marriage that her mother could not leave as she was financially dependent on him. Her sister, Shaheen Bhatt has talked about struggling with depression and suicidal tendencies since she was a child.
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Rekha, Purvabhadrapada Moon is the illegitimate child of actors Gemini Ganesan and Pushpavalli. Her father was already married to another woman when she was born. He refused to accept the paternity of Rekha and her sister Radha and she grew up in the same city that her father and his "legitimate" family lived in and attended the same school as her half-siblings where she occasionally saw glimpses of him dropping his other kids to school. She has stated that growing up she was called a "bastard" and that the only male figure in her life was "God". She made her debut as an actress when she was 13 against her wishes because her family had fallen on bad times and she had to work to support her 6 siblings and ill mother.
This interview of hers offers a glimpse into her early life. Regardless of what she's been through, Rekha has always been stoic and conducted herself with immense grace and dignity even when she received an award from her father who was never a part of her life. She said this in response:
“Why should I grieve for him when he’s so much part of me? Why should I grieve when I’m so grateful for his genes, his teachings, his rich life and his sheer existence? Grieve for what??!! I’m happy I didn’t have to share unpleasant moments with him. He existed for me in my imagination. And that’s so much more beautiful than reality. Everything I love is unqualified by worldly time constraints. I’m just a small link in the larger scheme of things. I’m not the first one to go through death, nor am I the first one to receive an award. I’m enjoying everything that comes my way…good bad or ugly. I try to make good use of what life’s experiences offer. I think I’ve done a good job of my life, whatever others may think.” 
The Jupiterean ability to always look at the bright side and forgive people who don't deserve your forgiveness is heart-breaking but enlightening at the same time.
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Rita Hayworth, Purvabhadrapada Moon confided in her husband Orson Welles that she was sexually abused by her father as a child and had been repeatedly raped by him.
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Elexus Jionde aka Intelexual Media, Punarvasu Moon has mentioned that she's estranged from her father.
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Arnold Schwarzenegger, Punarvasu Rising & stellium has spoken about being emotionally and physically abused by his parents especially his father who would beat him up. They also abused him because they thought he was gay due to his preoccupation with the male physique (he wanted to be a bodybuilder and would later become Mr World).
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Keanu Reeves, Punarvasu Moon has been estranged from his father for the majority of his life. Charles Reeves abandoned the family when Keanu was 3 yrs old.
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Kaia Gerber, Purvabhadrapada Moon has like most other Jupiter natives kept a low profile and seldom spoken about her personal life and has only ever said nice things about her parents. Her father Rande Gerber has been accused of sexual harassment by multiple women and there have been blind items about Cindy putting Kaia on a calorie deficit diet since she was a child to prepare her for a modelling career (this is awfully common among celebrities so I don't even think this is a stretch). When Kaia was 7 years old, her parents were threatened with a picture of her, barely clothed being gagged and bound. It was said that the picture was taken by a female babysitter during a game of cops and robbers because she wanted to prank the Gerbers by pretending to kidnap Kaia (sincerely, wtf) but there have been conspiracy theories that perhaps Kaia was abused by her parents and this picture was leaked from their collection. Anyway the matter has been settled and it feels wrong for me to speculate too much but I thought I'd mention it anyway.
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Asia Argento, Purvabhadrapa Moon, is the daughter of filmmaker Dario Argento and has said that she never saw her father as a child and had no kind of relationship with him until she started acting in his movies when she was 16. She said "I never acted out of ambition; I acted to gain my father's attention. It took a long time for him to notice me. … And he only became my father when he was my director."
Her characters in his movies were undressed, raped and generally psychologically traumatised on screen. She once said:
"But I always had this feeling of never being a part of anything, not even of my family. My parents forgot about me. I did everything I could to get their attention."
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Chyler Leigh, Vishaka Moon. Her parents divorced when she was 12, following which she was estranged from her father for many years. Her mother moved her to LA when she was a teenager so that she could pursue an acting career. At 15 years old she starred in a movie called Kickboxing Academy as her biological brother's love interest (he was 19). She is said to have been manipulated into doing so by her mother. She has said in a recent interview that she's been estranged from her mother for over 20 years and that like her mother, she too suffers from bipolar disorder. She said, "Because I was put in a position to support my mother, I didn't get the opportunity to speak about my own feelings when I was in my teens." She moved out of her mother's house to live with her then-boyfriend and now husband Nathan West.
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Han So Hee, Vishaka Sun was in the news when her mother using her name to borrow bank loans and her debt became public news. Its very rare to hear about the private life of a celebrity in Korea but Sohee came forward to clear things and said her parents divorced when she was 5 following which she was raised by her maternal grandmother with whom she lived until she was in highschool. She's estranged from both her parents and only realized that her mother had been in debt after she turned 18. She found out that her mother had been borrowing money under her name illegally ever since she was a minor. She paid off this debt and apologized to everybody concerned.
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IU, Purvabhadrapada Moon grew up in poverty. Her family fell into debt and she was raised by her grandmother who could barely take care of her and her brother. She saw little of her parents growing up. Its unclear how close they are now.
I realize just how many of them are nepo babies lol but I'm kinda glad because it means so much of their life is on public record. Its really unfortunate to see that so many of these natives had absent fathers or fathers who were present in their lives and very abusive.
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