#but for five i think it would be media he enjoys on multiple levels (the science behind survival on mars-

[sharkneto]

How do you think Five would feel about Andy Weir’s The Martian? I can’t decide if it would be triggering or if he’d get a kick out of it

I have to admit I have never read The Martian, so I can't speak much to how I think Five would react to it. From the little I know about it, the main guy has a rather upbeat attitude around his solitude and having to figure out survival on Mars, right? The snippets I've read have had great humor to them, at least. Based solely on that (and that I saw the movie once), I think it's a book Five would overall enjoy and find parts about figuring out survival relatable, and be able to read Exactly Once. Just a little too close to home for any repeat visits to that one.

Anyone who has actually read The Martian and has much more informed opinions on this feel free to chime on in.

[nicksbestie]

Next Level - M. Sturniolo

Summary : the one where you just want your boyfriend to get off of his game, and he makes you a deal.

Warnings : 16+ content. i am not responsible for the media you choose to consume online. oral (fem receiving), fingering, praise kink, multiple orgasms/overstimulation, pet names (baby)

Word Count : 3017

Pairing : Matt Sturniolo/Reader (romantic)

A/N : idfk blame someone else for this

You were potentially the most bored that you had ever been in your entire life.

Yes, you were being incredibly dramatic, but your boyfriend had ceased giving you attention and hanging out with you in favor of playing round after round on whatever video game of the day was pulled up on his monitor. It was so frustrating, and you were a clingy person, so that just made it worse. You had come over to spend time with your boyfriend, not to just watch him focus on something else. You had tried playing with him, losing multiple games, winning a couple, before you had gotten bored and moved to relax on his bed. You’d been quiet and patient up until about now, because you didn’t want to bother him, and you did love seeing him do things that he enjoyed, but you were starting to get annoyed. 

You abandoned his room in favor of going down to the kitchen to get something to drink, finding Chris and Nick sitting on the couch, some show playing in the background, and Nick was swiping through Snapchat stories on his phone. They already knew you were there, having spent time with both of them when you had arrived a few hours prior to now. You sat down with them both, opening the lemonade you had stolen from their fridge. You didn’t speak, also on your phone for a couple of minutes before Chris looked up, nudging Nick to get his attention.

“Do you think Matt will drive us somewhere? I want to go get a slurpee.” 

You laughed, responding before Nick could.

“He’s fixated on his stupid video game, I doubt he’ll want to go anywhere.”

“Is that why you’re down here and not up there with him?” 

You nodded, continuing to scroll through social media while the two brothers decided if they wanted to ask Matt or not. Finally, Nick turned to you.

“Can you go ask? He’s more likely to say yes to you than to us, and now that Chris has mentioned it, I want to get one too.” 

You playfully rolled your eyes, but got up to go upstairs to ask him anyways, knowing more than likely your boyfriend would say no. Walking back into his room, Matt glanced up at you, looking back to his screen after acknowledging who had come into the room.

“Nick and Chris want to go get slurpees, they wanted to know if you would drive them.”

Matt shook his head, eyes never leaving the monitor, fingers never pausing their movements on his controller.

“Nah, I don’t want to go. Tell them to order an Uber or something.”

You sighed, sitting back down on Matt’s bed to text those words to Chris and Nick, not feeling like walking up and down the steps again for such a short message. After reading Nick’s response of a rolling eyes emoji, you threw your body back and laid down, exhaling deeply, waiting on Matt to pay you even a sliver of attention. You were tempted to leave, go get slurpees with the two other brothers, but at the same time, you really did love and miss your boyfriend. About fifteen minutes went by, and Chris texted you to let you know that they were leaving, asking if you were both sure that you didn’t want to come, and you replied saying that no, you two would stay here.

You only let about another five minutes go by before you waved a hand in front of Matt’s face, refusing to let him ignore you any longer. He pulled his headset halfway off, to where one ear was exposed, so that he could hear you.

“What’s up, baby?” 

You sighed, slightly pouting.

“You’ve been on that game forever, and you’ve been ignoring me.” 

Matt gave you a soft smile, standing up to kiss you before sitting back down. 

“Just let me get through one more level, and I’ll turn it off for the day.” 

You rolled your eyes, turning around to go sit back down.

“Sure you will.” 

He caught your wrist as you tried to move away from his desk, turning you back towards him.

“Hey, watch the attitude.”

He kissed the back of your hand, smiling at you.

“You’ve been waiting a while, I know. Nick and Chris have already left, right?” 

You nodded, confused at what his brother’s presence, or lack thereof, had to do with your current situation.

“Okay. So let me get through this next level, and I’ll go down on you until you cry. Deal?”

You couldn’t say that the suggestion that came out of Matt’s mouth didn’t affect you. It had been a little while since you and him had done anything, conflicts with filming and work, traveling, and when you were free, people were home. So sure, maybe part of your boredom and attitude was due to pent up desire, but who could blame you? There was only so much relief you could get on your own, and nothing compared to Matt’s skills. Matt noticed how your eyes widened slightly and your cheeks flushed, and an arrogant smirk crossed his lips. One of his favorite things was to go down on you, and you couldn’t deny the fact that you felt the same about it. 

“I figured you would like that offer. Just this last level, okay?” 

You swallowed, nodding, pulling your arm from his grip and going back to laying on his bed. You picked up your phone, trying to appear unaffected, but Matt knew you better than that. He could see you in the reflection of the dark screen on the second monitor, and he could see you shifting how your legs were laying every so often, trying to ignore how the thoughts he had planted in your head were affecting you. He loved how easily he could work you up, something he had often taken advantage of, and he smiled to himself at how suddenly you had developed so much patience. 

Matt intentionally lost the level multiple times in a row, wanting to see just how far he could push your patience. He knew that you wouldn’t push him back, so he wanted to see just how needy he could get you to be. So he continued to lose, to set himself back, to find any way to make his promise take longer. He was enjoying watching you grow desperate way more than he should have, noticing you look up at him and his screen pretty much every thirty seconds to see if he had completed the level yet. The thought of what he was going to do to you was making him struggle to focus on the game, so he decided to stop intentionally losing and not make you wait for him any longer. This level wasn’t difficult, and it wasn’t long before he completed it, turning off his screens and removing the headset in favor of setting it on the desk. 

Turning around and getting out of the chair, Matt abandoned his desk, laying down with you and taking your phone out of your hand. You let him, both of you knowing that you hadn’t really been paying attention to it anyways. Excited to finally have your boyfriend’s full attention, you pulled him in for a kiss, it starting off gentle and sweet. He broke the kiss after a couple of seconds, smiling at you and used his hand on the side of your cheek and jaw to guide you into another one. There wasn’t any effort on your side to gain dominance of the kiss, Matt easily controlled it, deepening it and swallowing any sounds that left your lips, smiling against your mouth when you both paused to breathe. 

“I think I have a promise to make good on, don’t I?” 

You nodded, gasping quietly when Matt moved his kisses down to directly under your jawline, teeth gently tugging on the skin, enough to leave marks on you, but not enough for those marks to last longer than a day. The hand that had previously been on the side of your face was tangled in the back of your hair, gently pulling on it, moving your head to give him more access. It wasn’t long before he was hovering over you and had left a trail of blooming marks under your jaw and on your neck. Small whimpers were leaving your lips, and he kissed you, full of passion, enjoying the way you reacted to his movements. One of his hands gently caressed your side, fingers toying with the hem of your shirt.

“Can I take this off?” 

You didn’t respond verbally, simply removing your hands from his hair and face to tug your shirt off, allowing him to help you. Matt’s hands immediately moved up to unclasp your bra, getting it off as quickly as possible, before moving to lay kisses down your torso. It seemed like he was somehow touching you everywhere at once, which you logically knew wasn’t true because he only had two hands, but you swore you could feel him on all parts of your skin. He moved a hand up to roll your nipple between two of his fingers, smirking at the loud whimper you let out, before moving his other hand down to the band of your sweatpants, silently asking for your permission for him to take them off. You lifted your hips, whispering your consent, sounds still leaving your lips because he hadn’t paused his ministrations, his mouth attaching to your other nipple, the attention on them both causing you to whine. 

He only stopped the movements of his hands to remove your sweatpants from your legs, but he didn’t move downwards. He moved back up to kiss you again, both of his hands holding the sides of your face. Using his leg to spread yours, he swallowed the loud moan that left your lips, as the shifting of his body had caused his knee to press directly against where you needed him most. He smiled against your lips, loving how vocal you were, increasing the pressure slowly until he felt you shift your hips downward to meet his leg. He removed his knee, hearing your whine of disappointment, moving his body down between your legs, using his hands to spread them this time, from where you had clenched your thighs around his knee. 

“Patience, baby, I’ll give you what you want.”

He left kisses and hickeys on your inner thighs, so close that you could feel his breath over your panties. When he was satisfied with the marks that he had left on your legs, he gently pulled them off of your legs, kissing even closer, smiling at the way that you pushed your hips closer to him. He took one arm and laid it over top of your hips, holding you down.

“Matt, stop fucking teasing.” 

He shook his head at the attitude in your voice, but he knew you wouldn’t be giving it to him for long. He kissed right above your clit before giving in, his tongue beginning to form small circles on it, and he could have cum on the spot when he heard the shaky breath that left you at the feeling of relief after having to wait so long. He alternated the amount of pressure he was using, before pulling off completely and moving to lick a stripe from your entrance back up to your clit, loving the way that your thighs clenched around his head. He pushed them back open before attaching his lips to your clit, gently sucking, causing your hands to tug harshly on his hair as you let out moans and whimpers. He tried to remove his face from between your legs, but you pushed him impossibly closer, and instead of fighting you, he simply formed tight figure eight motions with his tongue on your clit.

By this point you were so wet, and Matt’s mouth and chin were covered in the evidence of your arousal. He always ate you out like he was starving, and it was always messy, but you never complained. How could you, when it gave you some of the best orgasms you’d ever have? You could feel it starting to build in the pit of your stomach, and it only became more intense when Matt ran two fingers through the wetness between your legs before easily pushing them into you, expertly curling them. He knew your body like the back of his own hand, so not only did he know that you could take two at once, he knew exactly where to move and where to press to have you squirming. 

His ministrations were confident, and you were predictable, your head immediately going back the second that his fingers curled perfectly, him only being able to see the white of your eyes while his tongue and fingers caused your thighs to shake around his head, your climax building quickly, and Matt could tell, just from the noises you were making and the way you were clenching around his fingers. He pulled his mouth off, increasing the speed of his fingers, kissing you roughly before speaking.

“Doing so good for me, baby.” 

“Matt, fuck, please-” 

He placed his thumb on your clit, rubbing tight circles with a firm amount of pressure, adoring the way that your back arched now that you were no longer being held down.

“I know, baby, I know.”

He replaced his thumb with his mouth, the suction sending you off into space. He could hear your moans getting higher in pitch, and your thighs were clamping around his head. Your hips were bucking against his face, your eyes screwed shut as his free hand reached up and applied pressure to your lower stomach, and that was it. Your orgasm hit you like a truck, jaw hanging open in a loud whine, Matt not stopping any of his movements as he pleasured you through your high. He stopped when your breathing began to stagger roughly, kissing you sweetly as you panted against his lips. He kissed you until you calmed down, until your chest stopped heaving, and then he ran his hand back down and gently drew slow circles on your clit, kissing your forehead as you whined and tried to bat his hand away. 

“I can’t, too much.” 

He just gave you a pitying smile, not moving his hand. If anything, he picked up his pace, listening to you whimper against his neck.

“Oh, but I promised you’d be crying, baby. I have to make good on that, don’t I?” 

You couldn’t formulate a response, just a low whine leaving you as he added more pressure. 

“You can give me one more.” 

And with those words, he went back to having his head between your thighs, his fingers on his free hand gently tracing patterns on the inside of your thighs. You were so sensitive, not ever having been one for overstimulation, but the incredible pleasure that rolled through your body overwhelmed every small spark of pain, causing you to not want Matt to stop after all. Being so sensitive, you were so much more reactive, and when Matt pulled the same move of curling his fingers right into your sweet spot, you let out a loud sob, and you could feel another orgasm beginning to build. It was much quicker than the last one, but with Matt absolutely assaulting your clit, and his fingers roughly massaging that perfect spot inside of you, you knew you would never be able to hold it off. 

The oversensitivity caused tears to build in your eyes, and you got to the point of desperation that you were attempting to ride Matt’s face, hands tightened in his hair again, keeping him pushed up against you, chanting his name like a prayer as you tipped over the edge for a second time that night. Matt did the same thing that he did the first time, working you through your orgasm, and it was the added stimulation paired with the unbelievable high you were already on that caused tears to stream down your face, eventually pushing Matt away from you when it got to the point that you couldn’t handle it anymore. He knew when it was too much for you, and he pulled off, the fingers that had just brought you to your finish now in his own mouth, and if you could go again, you would have at just the sight. 

It didn’t take Matt long to pull you into his arms, wiping the remnants of tears off of your face. He didn’t move you too much, but he helped you drink out of the bottle of water that had been on his nightstand. You laid there, still slightly out of breath, enjoying the close company of your boyfriend and the gentle kisses he was pressing on the top of your head. It wasn’t until Matt adjusted his body slightly against you that you realized he was still hard.

“You didn’t-.”

He didn’t even humor the statement, cutting you off by just shaking his head and holding you against his chest.

“Don’t worry about it. You’ve got my full attention, baby. I’m fine.” 

The soft aftercare that Matt always gave you was top tier, complete with food, a warm bath, and endless cuddles. He always spent a lot of time making sure that you were completely taken care of and felt okay before he even thought about himself. Checking Matt’s phone, you noticed a text from Chris that had come in thirty minutes ago, letting you know that they had decided to stop at another store before coming home. Neither of you replied, but you both assumed that meant you didn’t have much more alone time left. So Matt helped you back into clothes, knowing that you were tired, and you ended up dressed in an entire outfit of his.  The two of you weren’t even awake when they got back, falling asleep wrapped up in each other’s presence.

taglist : @blahbel668 @mattsgirlfrieeend @69isabella69 @mayhem-72 @iculdstealurgf @iluvm4ttsturni0l0

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[sneakyboymerlin]

I have one silly goofy rule: if you vague me, I won’t always be as transparent in return… especially when you call me a bitch. I also enjoy literary and media analysis as a hobby (there’s a reason it’s my best subject lol), so I don’t exactly mind a chance to talk on it.

Gwen’s boobs visible below the cut.

Breaking: Tumblr user “Arthur The People’s Princess,” who calls Arthur a “tsundere,”’calls ME a bitch and accuses ppl who think Merlin is not a villain of “babygirlifying” him 😭😭😭 very “do as I say, not as I do.” liiiike at LEAST say it on anon 💀💀💀

But this is even funnier because… the show’s main tactic to make Arthur appear superior was by only ever contrasting him to people far worse than he is (e.g. Uther or the villagers in 5x03). But they had a second tactic, where they would “make a character ooc so their fave would seem better.” For example, the 4x03 deleted scene btwn him and Gwen (thank god they deleted it), the format and characterization in 5x01-5x03, etc. It is quite clear that they set up conversations to tell-don’t-show how grand Arthur is, even though he is surrounded by people who have the exact same standards and more. He is coddled by the narrative as a form of overcompensation for his flaws and dormant character progression. This is also influenced by his status as a rich nobleman (prince, then king) wherein a servant like Gwen believing that commoners are just as worthy as nobles means nothing, yet a king believing in this somehow makes him uniquely worthy. Credit and reward is unevenly distributed.

This “babygirlifying” of Arthur (calling him a tsundere and princess) is a pretty obvious attempt to dismiss his serious faults (the bigotry that leads him to act tyrannical towards magical peoples, continuing his father’s genocidal legacy). Because white cishet women are typically viewed as weak and harmless, comparing or associating a character with “womanly” traits/tropes can be used to give the impression of harmlessness or innocence. This is, of course, misogynistic, among other uses.

The slight against Gwaine is also very interesting, because it tends to be the type of merthur shipper that the op is, not the people who pay attention to Gwaine, who reduce him down to “clown manwhore.” But more on that later.

The show is centered on Arthur’s need to progress from a stuck-up bigot into the king who will fulfill the prophecies, bringing peace back to the five kingdoms and returning magic to the land… so why is it so difficult to understand why people might pay attention to Arthur fulfillment of (or lack thereof) the story’s structural promise? Other people possessing flaws does not negate Arthur’s flaws, which had a wide impact due to his excess of power, wealth, and reputation.

Gwaine being tentative towards magic, Morgana indulging in tyranny, and Merlin’s questionable navigation of prophecy do not in any way rescind Arthur’s central flaws. He is the one who continued to ban magic, despite Gaius making Dragoon’s innocence clear in 4x07, despite accepting the Dolma’s aid in 5x09, despite the unicorn incident in 1x11, right after a sorcerer saved his life in 1x10. And still, after a sorcerer saved his life in 1x04. After he recognized how many Druids had been slaughtered for their association with magic. These are events he knew about but chose to ignore to stay in his comfort zone (idolizing Uther and justifying his own privileges).

Also, the fact that op can only approach this topic through a merthur lens (the comments about Arthur and Gwaine both imply merthur) is more telling than any analysis I could write. Merlin and Gwaine do not exist only in relation to Arthur. We’re not the ones reducing him down to “clown manwhore,” because unlike op, we don’t see his character or connections as trivial by comparison. I know I for one have written multiple analyses on Gwaine’s characterization, traumas, and beliefs — flaws and all — because I believe there is more to him than many surface-level readings ascribe. Try looking in a mirror next time you say it.

Toodles 🛳️

[talenlee]

Dissed Content

I produce media across about five major forms and three major platforms. You will find me posting regularly on Reddit, Youtube, Cohost, Mastodon at the Kind.Social instance. You can also find my games on itch.io and invincible ink, my shirts and stickers on redbubble, my behind-the-scenes development notes on patreon, and multiple podcasts I both perform on and edited and uploaded and maintained myself.

Over on Youtube, I make video essays, I translate my articles on games into a audiovisual format, and I do a lets play series with a cohost that involves playing the games and talking through the process of playing them together, while putting what we’re doing in context across the history of playing games.

Simply put, I do a lot of things.

Sometime this year, near the start, I resolved to stop calling it ‘content.’

Content is a term that evolved in our online spaces to refer to anything that you could do to fill the time that wasn’t explicitly not there to be enjoyed. The term is a marketing language term, where the ‘content’ was used to deliver ‘the product,’ which is to say, people would watch TV shows and when they were doing that, you could show them ads. Content is a term that has become part of common usage to refer to internet material that covers a host of broadcast platforms, even the ones that are meaningfully different and require different sets of integrated skills.

There’s this guy, Jim Davis, who serves up videos about Magic: The Gathering Arena. In that, he streams on Twitch, live, and interacts with his chat, engages live, and brings to bear his considerable expertise on how to play the game and improve at playing the game. Then, he takes those videos, and splits them up into smaller videos that he shares on Youtube, with a set of live editing behaviours. He sculpts how he performs so that it can be translated across the forms, and in the process, he’s doing two things at once.

It’s a really impressive skill!

Then some of those videos get cut up and made into shorts, and served on tiktok as well, because part of the point of being an online media maker in his specific form is you have to be everywhere and all forms of production are designed to sequence you back to the central base. I think this is really impressive and I like what he does, but I also know it involves a small team of people to do the different things that are part of capitalising on the skill he has that he wants to show people (how to play the game better and ways the game can be more interesting). There are editors and moderators and just people doing work that let him do this, and all of it and all of their work is quietly elided under ‘content.’

I think about this a lot every time I slip up and say aloud, the word ‘content’ to describe what I do.

Reason Three: Everything I Do Requires Different Skills

I am a video editor, sound engineer, script writer, improv performer, researcher, essayist, educator, mentor, game developer, games academic and low-key comedian. These are all distinct skills that it takes a lot to be very good at, and I think it’s important to underscore that I am not very good at all of them. But each of these skills is a thing I can develop individually, and each of them produces different rewards. Yes, they can all be referred to as ‘content creator,’ which puts a better handle on what I do, it’s not a cumbersome term, but the term serves to put what I do on the same level as what, say, Harris Bomberguy does, and also what James Somerton does – people who put wildly different types of effort into what they’re doing. When all three of us are put into the same space as broadly as that, the effect is to treat it as if all these skills are unified in their application and purpose and hide all the things that people do and have to do.

In my Jim Davis example, something he is incredible at is explaining a thought process aloud for playing a very challenging game, and he does it to a live twitch chat and to a community who aren’t there who can’t absorb the references from that twitch chat. That is a specialised skill, to both make a lesson immediate and particular while also ensuring that it is broad and communicable.

Some of my vidoes are off-the-cuff recordings of me where I process my feelings about the games I’ve played in my mind onto the record with very little editing. Some of it is highly scripted. These are two different skills, and the kinds of things they make are meant to serve different aims.

Reason Two: Content Flattens Meaning

If you treat all media that people make as ‘content’ you lose the ways those things are different. Reading my articles aloud makes it clear to me how much my rhetorical delivery plays into how the reading feels. My Carrion article and my Carrion video are not meant to be experienced the same way, and my reading of the video is not the normal way I read my articles. You can tell, because I did it differently.

Podcasts have a conversational, whimsical air. There’s shifting moods and diversity of position – I can have my mind changed live, or be shown I’ve made a mistake and step through that. Scripted articles are meant to be rigorous and clearly defined at the start of the presentation, which is all they are. Video essays are in many cases extremely slowly delivered powerpoint presentations after all.

And a powerpoint presentation has a different skill demand to it too! Which is just a preamble to the biggest reason I am trying to stop call my stuff ‘content’ and why I think you probably should to, if you can help it:

Reason One: I Don’t Show You Fucking Ads

All the stuff I put on the internet is, as far as I can tell, provided ad-free. My Youtube Channel is not monetised and should not show you advertisements. My itch games do not include ads, except for showing you my other games you might not know about. The media I serve to the internet is, by definition not ‘content’ because there is no product for it to deliver. What I am putting on the internet, with my own effort and blessedly paid for by my Patreon subscribers who are just paying as thanks for the stuff existing, is by the original usage ‘not content.’

When your work is content you are buying into the model of the advertiser. Even if you use advertisements like a twitch ad-shower, when you call your work content, you are doing it with a willingness to tell the advertisers that they get to define what your work is, and it is not focused on who you are.

This isn’t advice that I expect anyone to follow.

Check it out on PRESS.exe to see it with images and links!

[pixelgrotto]

Cool Cold War Ninja

Capcom's Strider series holds the distinction of starring one of the coolest ninjas in video games. Hiryu feels like he was designed to look as rad as possible, from the blue suit to the red scarf to the tonfa-esque cypher blade, and his appearance was partially influenced by Spawn (another hero engineered to radiate style) because Capcom character designer Harumaru saw some Todd McFarlane books one day. Even Hiryu's name (飛竜, "flying dragon") is cool, mostly because it taught me that 竜 is the Japanese simplified form of the Chinese 龍, a character in my own name.

But despite his coolness, Hiryu is better recognized for cameos in the Marvel vs. Capcom series instead of his own franchise. This is most unfortunate, especially considering that Strider's one of the earliest video game examples of a cross-media property. Way back in 1988, Capcom greenlit a Strider comic with the help of the Moto Kikaku mangaka group while also assigning two internal divisions to helm an arcade game and an NES title. The intent was to make Hiryu into a hero who would span multiple mediums and be recognized everywhere, from the printed page to the pixelated screen. And that sorta worked, but not as well as Capcom hoped.

The first and most famous Strider - the 1989 arcade release - begins with Hiryu gliding onto the towers of the Kazakh Soviet Socialist Republic in a truly iconic bit of spritework. Within three seconds, you're hit with an array of action as Hiryu strides forward, explodes enemies in half with his cypher, and does a signature flip where all of his limbs flail outwards in a mid-air cartwheel. The action and setpieces never let up, and over the span of the game's five levels, Hiryu fights a council of politicians who morph into a multi-limbed robotic centipede, runs from mountain avalanches, explores dinosaur-filled Amazon jungles, hitchhikes a ride on an airship, and battles robotic anti-gravity cores in the fringes of outer space.

Strider is a blend of a hundred different things that the developers considered cool. But beyond all of the set pieces, the factor that sticks out to me the most is the Cold War futurism that drips from every level, feeling original but somehow dated at the same time. What other games start with your character infiltrating the "Kazakh Federation" and end with them fighting the sorcerous Grand Master Meio, a dude who seems like a thinly-veiled stereotype of a communist dictator gone wild? What other games commit to their "born in a geopolitical era of tension" vibe by featuring speech samples in multiple languages, including Russian, Japanese and Mandarin? Strider came out right before the fall of the Berlin Wall, and you can feel it. On that note, I don't think Kazakhstan has appeared in any other franchise as much as Strider. Honestly, the world would probably be a better place if more people associated Kazakhstan with Hiryu's adventures instead of Borat.

Strider didn't receive a decent conversion for home consoles until the Sega Genesis/Mega Drive in 1990, and the NES "port" that came out around the same time wasn't a port at all. Instead, NES Strider is an early Metroidvania, and one that I actually enjoy a fair bit. This opinion goes against the norm, since while I can recall NES Strider getting lots of promo in Nintendo Power when I was growing up, popular internet consensus these days tells you that it's a broken game with controls that feel like they're stuck in a beta phase.

I can't refute that - NES Strider's controls stink, especially when you're forced to pull off a wall jump that's impossible to do unless you have perfect timing. (Thankfully it's only a mandatory move at two points.) The game's also got a weird glitchiness about it, with enemies respawning at an utterly aggressive pace and the edges of the screen flickering way too much every time Strider moves an inch. The bugginess of NES Strider supposedly kept its impending Famicom port from ever being released, making it a rare example of a Japanese game that sold in North America but not in its native country.

And yet, the ambition to NES Strider is admirable. The trend of backtracking through levels and using items to unlock previously inaccessible areas might be commonplace now, but it wasn't in 1989. The plot, while burdened by a messy English translation, also features far more of a story than any other game in this franchise thanks to its heavy basis in the Strider manga. (Which is pretty cool, by the way, and partially readable in English thanks to a fan scanlation of its first three chapters.) Instead of simply facing Grand Master Meio, Hiryu's got to dig out corruption from the ranks of his organization, and it's nice to actually get some insight into his companions, from a fellow Strider named Kain to a guy named Ryuzaki who left his Attack-Boots in China.

Strider never blossomed into one of Capcom's sequel-studded franchises of the '90s. The NES game was a bold but flawed experiment that didn't get much traction, and while the arcade game performed okay, many of its key developers left the company soon after its release. In the European market, though, arcade Strider received dozens of ports for home computer systems that really couldn't handle it, like the ZX Spectrum. Tiertex, a local developer behind a handful of these ports, got the rights from Capcom and made Strider II, a sequel with shockingly bad level design which also goes under the name Journey from Darkness: Strider Returns. Capcom effectively retconned Tiertex's work with an in-house Strider 2 in 1999, riding off of the wave that Hiryu received from his inclusion in Marvel vs. Capcom.

Released for the arcade and Playstation, Strider 2 seems to take place two thousand years after its predecessor, with the Hiryu the player controls a clone of the original. It's never entirely clear, as the plot was clearly just an excuse to have Hiryu fight a reincarnated Meio. Forgettable story aside, the game spans as many environments as the first Strider, and the opening level sees Hiryu fighting terrorists in Neo Hong Kong to the beat of some darn good music which sounds suspiciously like the Ozzy Osbourne song Shot in the Dark. There's also a rival Strider named Hein who wears an all-white uniform in a nod to Hinjo, the main character from Tiertex's Strider II, which is a polite ode to a game that Capcom has all but disowned nowadays.

My biggest issue with Strider 2 is that each level is divided into small chunks, with the player forced to sit through loading screens while the next segment loads. Most PS1 games released during this era suffered from long loadtimes, but it's annoying to deal with the same thing in an arcade game. Maybe the load screens are meant to give players a breather before the next spree of button mashing, but I feel like the game's pace suffers tremendously. It's hard to fall into the same "blaze through, slice 'em with the cypher, do a billion flips along the way" rhythm that the first Strider inculcated when you've got to wait five seconds after every major encounter.

Strider 2 released during a period when action platformers were nearly nonexistent in the arcades, and a 30-minute experience - which is about how long it takes to beat the game once you know what you're doing - wasn't going to really cut it on the PS1. And so the series went back into dormancy until 2014, when Capcom once again enlisted the services of a third party. Double Helix Games' Strider is yet another retread of Hiryu versus Meio, but there's a surprising ton of DNA from NES Strider present. These go from the music, which features an awesome remix of the NES game's level 1 Kazakh theme, to the decision to make Hiryu's journey into a full-fledged Metroidvania.

Double Helix clearly poured a lot of love into their work, and I give 'em props for that NES inspiration. But there's something missing from the experience, which is probably why you don't often see 2014 Strider on lists of the best recent Metroidvanias. Unlike the world-spanning levels of the other Striders, this one takes place solely in Kazakh, which is large but very samey. As a result, the game feels padded despite not being terribly long, and the in-game map is far too confusing due to different planes that Hiryu can jump across. While Metroidvanias are one of the few genres that tend to activate my completionist tendencies, I never felt the need to explore every nook and cranny or snag every ability. It's a shame, because Double Helix was almost there in melding Strider's disparate gameplay styles and finally bringing Hiryu back to mainstream stardom. But they didn't stick the landing, and Amazon Game Studios bought Double Helix right after Strider released, ensuring that the devs probably won't ever get the chance to improve on their formula.

It's been almost a decade since Hiryu got his own game. He most recently showed up in Marvel vs. Capcom Infinite, and Capcom threw Strider fans a bone with the character Zeku in Street Fighter V, who has a Hiryu-style skin and is said to be the dude who founded the entire Strider order. All of this is neat, but it's baffling that Hiryu - despite being one of the coolest ninjas in gaming - has never had a solo title truly take off since his debut. Some of this might be due to the fact that Capcom has to credit (and presumably pay) Moto Kikaku whenever Hiryu appears, and one could argue that the original arcade game's balls-to-the-wall action and high difficulty don't have a place in Capcom's catalog any longer, or at least aren't as money-printing as new Monster Hunters and Resident Evils. But I think you could easily make something like Sekiro: Shadows Die Twice starring Strider Hiryu, and I wish someone would. After all, we're talking about one cool ass Cold War ninja here, and he deserves to shine once more.

[monocytogenes]

Ammyyyyy from the SWTOR Character Ask Meme, can you tell me about Isra and Pravin's answers for the following questions: 1. What is [character]’s favourite event, & what do they like about it? 9. What do they regard as their culture, & do they distinguish between their culture and heritage? and 13. If there were a Commemorative Statue released of them, what pose would they be in?

I presume this refers to the recurring ingame events, sooo--

I played Pravin on the Bounty Contract event and man, that is his SHIT. Post class-story I imagine him getting by outside the Empire through doing a lot of private security and investigator work, and bounty hunting is really just that plus the "capturing fugitives" bit. He'd always use the drink option and bring them back in carbonite in lieu of killing them, lol.

Realistically I think he'd be wary about doing too much of that sort of work because it's super confrontational and he doesn't want to make enemies, but if the money's right...hey, some of those troublemakers must have long histories of pissing off multiple legal and illegal enterprises, right? And he likes the investigatory part. It's what he enjoyed about working for Intelligence--the relationship-building and social engineering; figuring out how to get people to disclose information or allow him entry to restricted spaces. His talent at it is kind of his superpower, and it really gives him a thrill.

Isra would be into the Rakghoul event. She's a badass sword lady patriot who sees her role as that of a protector and defender, so heading out to put down a bunch of monsters to keep civilians safe is her idea of a good day's work. She'd also definitely be game for helping the scientists get samples and such, and feel pride in the praise she'd receive for that.

9. THIS IS A GREAT QUESTION you know I love this shit and will worldbuild about it forever

I'll start off by saying that I do think there's such as a thing as "Imperial culture", in large part because the Empire is a society with its own distinct values, norms, shared history and myths, as well as mass media. Much of this goes back to the outcome of the Great Hyperspace War--Imperials view their nation as a great power that was subjected to a retaliatory genocidal purge, and this desire to reclaim their place in the galaxy and not be victimized again brought about the militaristic, high-control government they accept as necessary today.

Dromund Kaas and Ziost are the main centers of culture, and that culture evolves in an environment where the only real "outside" influences are those from assimilated member worlds. Travel for ordinary citizens is restricted. There's a China-style Great Firewall which blocks most foreign media. Everyone watches the same holodramas, partakes of the same cuisine, observes the same fashion trends (albeit with some variation depending on what social stratum one's in)--if you reference, say, a joke from a popular novel in front of a large group of Imperials, ninety percent of them will know it. (Coupled with their tendency to couch humor in desert-dry sarcasm, this shared media landscape tends to make Imperial jokes incomprehensible to outsiders. It's like five-levels-deep memes all the time.)

Pravin and Isra both have complicated relationships with Imperial culture.

In Pravin's case, he doesn't like to think of himself as culturally Imperial on account of having left the Empire, but he is. He absolutely is. It's a fundamental piece of his personality, no matter how much time he's spent in Hutt Space, no matter how well he's come to speak other languages, enjoy other foods, incorporate other fashion influences into his daily wardrobe. He still has that kneejerk annoyance response to breaches of etiquette, such as when people aren't punctual or address him informally at a first meeting. He still feels uncomfortable wearing shorts or sleeveless tops in public, even as he's donning loud patterns and leaving his shirts halfway undone. He still cracks up at the humor. But yeah--there's always an unease there when he's made aware of his own attachments, since it forces him to contend with grief he's not altogether ready to process.

Isra defines herself largely by two identities: as a Sith Lord, and as a zabrak. The former gives her a role and a place in Imperial society--that of a powerful defender of her country and its people, ordained through superior genetics and years of training--and the latter defines her as both the inheritor of Iridonian warrior traditions and an oppressed person. She's simultaneously privileged and discriminated against, lauded and looked down upon, an insider and outsider to the culture she was brought up in. Much of her teenage desire to connect with Iridonian diaspora culture--despite not having been raised in that community--was a means of contending with how much of Imperial culture is not for her, both in a practical sense (e.g. not being able to eat some of the foods since she's a carnivore) and through all manner of subtle exclusion (e.g. lack of representation of people who look like her in most major media roles.) She claims Imperial culture as hers, she has to, but always in a way that incorporates her racial heritage. She needs feet in both in order to feel whole.

13. Pravin would be doing a James Bond pose because I'm a basic bitch. Like, probably this one but instead of a gun he's holding a vibroknife.

Isra would have her knees bent, ignited lightsaber in her right hand at a low guard position and her left hand raised up near her head, fingers splayed to use the Force. Basically the longsword plow stance but one-handed.

[doop-doop2]

Brief thoughts on Disco Elysium and symbolism. (Spoilers.)

It was towards the end of my second playthrough of Disco Elysium that I realized I was not nearly done unraveling this game.

DE can be played on multiple levels. On the surface level, it’s a fun, off-beat detective game, albeit one that deconstructs many of the associated tropes. But as I progressed through the story I realized this is a game into which you can dive very, very deep, picking apart the symbolism you would never even know was there the first time you played.

When I spoke to the Deserter on my second playthrough as he described Klaasje’s face as being “like an archipelago, with all those birthmarks”, I thought of this line from Joy when she gives you her “reality lowdown”:

There are 78,000 uninhabited islands in the Insulindian archipelago, officer. The freckled face of god.

So Klaasje’s face is likened to the discovery of the Insulindian archipelago, but what does this mean? Why is this connection made with her specifically, someone not originally from the archipelago? The game makes the Dora/Dolores Dei connection obvious, but when you put this together with the Klaasje/archipelago connection, what does that make Harry? - Is he symbolically the explorers who discovered it or am I thinking too much into this? There is probably some connection between Dora pushing Harry into joining the RCM and Dolores sending expedition after expedition into the pale, right? (I really can’t answer these questions, but I find them very fun to think about. The nice thing about this game is, letting your imagination really go crazy with questions like this doesn’t even feel like too much of a stretch.)

DE does not force you to think about most of its symbolism. If you don’t pick up on any of the breadcrumbs it drops, you will still enjoy the game; I had greatly enjoyed my first playthrough, though I had the sense I’d missed a lot.

But making that connection was like a lightbulb for me. This game gives you so much. I feel like I could write essays about it, pick apart individual lines and word choices, find new connections after three, four, five playthroughs. It’s so dense. I think the only other media I feel this way about is Revolutionary Girl Utena, a 39-episode anime I have seen at least half a dozen times. Both are media I think I could consume over and over and gain something new each time.

10/10, I truly, truly recommend this game.

[floralovebot]

Helia and Tecna friendship headcanons? -lambofzenith

AHHHHHHHHHH okay so

helia is really bad at technology right? pretty much anything that isn't covered in red fountain lessons, he's a complete no-go at. tecna takes it upon herself to try and help him understand basic technology a bit more and it goes so wrong. helia is literally the mom that squints their eyes and holds their phone away from their face while using One pointer finger to type everything. tecna hates it so much.

helia naturally doesn't understand a single thing that comes out of her mouth when she's talking technology but he still supports her nonetheless

helia is surprisingly rational most of the time! he's a firm Push All My Emotions Down And Then One Day I'll Die kind of person so even during really stressful missions, he's good at keeping a level head about things. tecna really appreciates this and it's not rare to see her, helia, and timmy discussing mission-related strategies During The Middle Of A Fight

tecna has a tendency to talk while she works (only noticeable around people she's comfortable with though) but she gets a little self-conscious about it. she knows it's not Bad or anything, but it doesn't seem Right either so she tries to keep quiet most of the time. helia on the other hand is so used to working while it's noisy that he's totally chill with it. they've gotten used to just vibing in the same room, working on their own things, and not actually talking to each other during it. they're comfortable around each other :) helia doesn't mind when she rambles out loud and tecna doesn't mind him pacing around the room every five minutes. symbiotic relationship.

tecna doesn't like talking about what she went through in the omega dimension, even with timmy. however, she does occasionally draw things out when she really needs to vent and can't think of any other way how. she's always been good at sketching due to her background in designing gadgets so this wasn't a weird transition for her. helia told her about this anonymous place for artists to submit their art with absolutely no names attached and after checking to make sure it was legit and she was completely safe, she started to submit one or two a year. she doesn't like to do it often but it does help to sort of "get it out" without actually talking about it.

while helia is notoriously Bad at video games, he does actually like the more "physical reality" ones (think that virtual reality tecmy scene!) mainly because it feels close enough to real life that he doesn't need to rely on just technology to do it. tecna and helia often have very competitive gaming matches but specifically within those kinds of games otherwise, he's really bad at it and she gets annoyed that he can't remember any of the buttons.

speaking of competitions, helia has an inner bet going on of How Much Can I Pretend To Not Know Jackshit About A Specific Technological Topic Before Tecna Notices. what he doesn't know, is that tecna knows he does this and has her own inner bet of How Long Can I Explain This Specific Topic Before Helia Gets Bored And Moves On. so far, the score is mostly even, with helia only winning because timmy isn't aware of this mental battle and will often jump in to explain things too. helia is very smug about this and tecna can't say anything to timmy otherwise she loses the fight that no one actually set firm rules on.

timmy is just really happy that his two best friends are also friends and sometimes he tries to invite helia and flora on their dates. tecna is okay with this only because she thinks it's funny. florelia were also okay with it but started to not be because they realized that their version of a date and tecmy's version of a date was extremely different. they've started to come up with increasingly ridiculous excuses for why they can't go and so far timmy is the only one that hasn't noticed. poor timmy, he genuinely thinks flora's best friend cactus is sick and needs care 😔

when timmy isn't available, helia will call tecna for any technology related issues he's having. on one hand, she likes that he trusts her and can rely on her, on the other hand, she's told him ten separate times not to leave his computer running all the damn time. (tecna: please turn the computer off when you're not using it. this will immensely help solve all of the problems you've been having. helia: okay so i'm gonna leave it on all the time?). he's not trying to be difficult though. he just forgets everything and assumes it should work regardless (he a little stupit).

roxy gets so much gender envy from both of them and it confuses her all the time. they have no idea what a gender envy is though and they're mostly just wondering how they stop giving it to roxy since it seems like it agitates her??? help please???? researching the matter doesn't help and it ends up becoming a meme on winx stan twt because tecna made a very official and serious post asking about the severity of "gender envy" and needing to know how contagious it is. now whenever either of them posts, earth teens just comment gender envy at them. helia still doesn't know what it means.

they don't watch movies/tv together but they will binge-watch the same shows and then talk about them later on. tecna's formatting is still very formal and functional meanwhile helia bounces off multiple points and forgets to make a conclusion. he stresses her out so much.

helia notices when tecna has stayed up too long for too many nights and will occasionally send her a "please sleep" message when he knows timmy is already asleep and can't do it. she doesn't always listen but sometimes she will, but not before sending the same message back because why the fuck is he up at this hour huh dumbass?????

tecna has a pet bird and helia has multiple cats and they absolutely cannot be in the same room together. her bird is constantly trying to fight his cats and while they're usually well behaved, he's genuinely scared they're gonna try to eat it (tecna: stop calling my bird an "it"; helia: stop putting your bird near my cats 😐)

they actually don't like hanging out when one of them is upset. they both have a hard time talking about their emotions (for different reasons obviously) and they always end up feeling like they have to say something when they're together. they just really prefer hanging when they're both in a good mood or at least calm. whenever one of them gets upset, they stop hanging out together until that person feels better.

connected to the last point, you'd think that would mean they don't know a lot about each other, but they surprisingly do! they're both relatively observant people (tecna gets better every year) and they're actually really good at figuring out why the other is upset and what would help. they just don't talk about it.

although, on a similar note, the one time they did have an emotional talk, it was about timmy. tecna was feeling upset again and worrying over whether or not she's "too logical/not emotional enough" and it was the one time where she actually allowed herself to hang out with him while being upset. they had a genuine heart to heart about things and especially about how she's way too hard on herself. they thought it would be awkward since they actively avoided this kind of thing but it wasn't! it went very naturally and helia even teared up a bit. he's very proud of her and the effort she makes every day and since that talk has been much more vocal about it.

when they went to earth in s4, they both spent way too much time learning about Earth Things; tecna about earth media (canon), and helia about animals since that's what flora was talking about. he started calling tecna "chip" after that because chipmunks reminded him of her. she disagrees with this assessment and he refuses to admit he mixed up chipmunks and squirrels. he still calls her chip to this day, and fortunately, it's grown on her. unfortunately, he calls timmy "chip" too, and now it's a hassle to figure out who he's talking to.

helia is surprisingly interested in zenith technology despite not understanding it all! he enjoys walking through the streets of zenith with tecna while she proudly points things out so he can go "ooo aaa" at everything. sometimes she tries to explain how things work and his mind starts playing elevator music automatically. tecna has gotten really good at knowing when helia is just. brain empty no thoughts because she recognizes the Empty look in his eyes. she enjoys catching it live and trying to figure out why he's just. not thinking (usually it's because he either doesn't understand something or got bored) (this happens often when sky starts talking) (sorry sky)

tecna is one of the winx (besides flora of course) that helia trusts the most. not in an emotional or friend way, but in a physical, we're on a mission way. she has good control of her magic and knows how to use it. she's good at thinking of strategies and applying them properly to the situation. and after the omega dimension, he had a newfound respect for her previously unknown to him survival skills. if he were even in severe danger, she would be the first winx he'd call (depending on the situation, she is occasionally ahead of flora).

helia is really bad at sharing details. he tends to go straight to the conclusion but doesn't share how he got there (adhd king 😌) and tecna is the best person to call in when this happens. her logical questioning makes it seem so easy because she has the patience and knowledge to connect the dots and ask the right questions. when anyone else tries its more like (helia: i'm sitting in a pool of blood; person: uhm do you know where it's coming from?; helia: probably the stab wound; someone: did you get stabbed??; helia: oh yeah definitely.)

[kaznejis]

Only Fools- Marco Peña x Flynn!Reader

nialler-tpwk5 said: Can we get Marco x reader but lee and Noah are her bothers and Noah gets in to a fight with him bc they kissed

A/N: Thankyou for sending in this prompt! I wrote this in a matter of hours, so hopefully there aren’t any mistakes- sorry if there is. I really enjoyed writing this; I think the scene between Marco and Noah at the football field is definitely my favourite!

Alsooo, whilst I was writing this I received a request for a ‘making out with Marco’ head canon- so I will have something similar to the opening out in the next few hours ;) 

Feel free to send in any prompts. :)

Curling the tips of your fingers into Marco’s hair, you breathed out hot puffs of breaths against his face as you moved your lips against his passionately. Marco’s hands clung to your waist as he dragged you into his lap, running his tongue against the seam of your lips as he pushed back with the same level of fervour. 

“We can’t do this for long,” You panted as Marco traced the pliant skin beneath your loose shirt, “My family will be home soon.”

Marco just smirked up at you as his hands moved further north, “You know that never stops me.”

You huffed a laugh as you dragged your lips down the base of his throat, “Yeah well, I don’t feel like watching my brothers beat you up today.”

Marco pulled back, pulling a raised eyebrow as he stared at you, “You think I can’t take them?”

“Lee, definitely,” You both broke into giggles at that, “but Noah is multiple feet taller than you with an added sprinkle of anger issues- wouldn’t exactly be a fair fight.”

“Well, that doesn’t matter because we won’t get caught,” He grinned at you as he pecked the tip of your nose softly, “The older brother will go back to college in a week and the younger one is to wrapped up in his own drama to notice anything.”

“True,” You sighed, tracing your finger along his face- the scar at his hairline, the light freckles beneath his eyes, the stray hairs that trailed the edges of his eyebrows. He really was beautiful. Despite what your siblings could ever think, you truly loved Marco- and you believed that he loved you too with the same level of compassion. The two of you were meant for each other; the sneaking around and hiding had only proved to deepen the connection that formed between the two of you. 

Though, you could tell that Marco was beginning to grow restless of this factor to your relationship. You were too- you wanted nothing more than be able to be with Marco in public and get rid of the masses of girls that flocked towards him in school. You wanted to be able to bring him home for family dinners like Noah did with Elle and Lee with Rachel; instead of having to sneak him in and out of your bedroom window as soon as the front door opens. 

To say the least, your brothers were extremely overprotective of you. Though, Noah’s protective nature was much more intense than Lee’s- he had gone to the lengths of beating up any guy who even dared to look at you, let alone touch you. Although he had softened slightly since opening his heart up to Elle, you still had no doubt that he would hunt Marco down if you were ever caught together. The thought of the two people you loved most in the world going against each other terrified you and you never wanted to be put in that situation. You just wished your brothers would lay off and stop seeing you as the timid girl you once were. 

“Are you still with me?” Marco mumbled softly, pushing a strand of hair from out of your eyes. You just smiled sadly back at him before reluctantly climbing from upon his lap. 

“You should probably get going, they’ll all be back soon.” 

Marco climbed up from your bed after you, letting out a heavy intake of breath as he listened to what you said, “Alright- but I will forever dream of spending an entire night with you here.” And at that he laughed before giving you a sloppy kiss to the cheek and swinging his legs over your balcony ledge

“Be safe!” You hollered as you leant against the door and watched as he jumped from the tree just below your balcony. 

-

The family sat around the table in comfortable silence as everyone tucked into the food your mother had prepared as usual. Though tonight there were no best friends or girlfriends that usually frequented the seat next to your siblings present tonight- meaning that it was just family. 

“Noah,” You inquired, looking up to make eye contact with your older brother, “This is completely hypothetical...but what would you do if I had a boyfriend?”

Noah paused, his fork in the midst of digging into a mound of spaghetti, “Depends,” He brought his fork up and chewed slowly as if he were deep in thought, “If your hypothetical boyfriend were to be someone I know I would beat his ass as they are all assholes.”

“Noah!” Your mum snapped, swatting at him in an attempt to weaken his use of words.

“Sorry,” He groaned, holding up his hands, “I was about to say that if he was someone I didn’t know, maybe I would give him a chance.”

“Moral of the story, don’t date anyone from our school,” Lee laughed as he and Noah high-fived, “Why are you asking that anyway?” 

“Oh, just wondering.” You smiled in what you hoped was a reassuring way, but you didn’t miss the intrigued, tilted-head look your mother gave you. 

-

Later that night as you lay on top of your bed covers mindlessly scrolling through your social media and waiting for Marco to message you, a knock sounded at your bedroom door. 

“Can I come in?” 

“Yeah,” You called as you propped yourself up against the headboard, “Hey mum.”

“Sorry to barge in, I bought you some hot chocolate.” 

“Thanks,” You grinned as you accepted it and took an elongated sip, though you noticed the look on her face as you did so, “Alright, what do you want to ask?”

“You always know when something’s up,” She laughed and gestured for you to scoot over on the bed, “Earlier at dinner- that situation wasn’t hypothetical, was it?”

“No.” You gulped, opting to stare down at the chocolate that swirled within the mug. 

“Oh, sweetheart,” She cooed, wrapping her arms around you and bringing you in to cuddle into her side, “Why didn’t you just say? I would never get mad at you for having a boyfriend.”

“I know you wouldn’t,” You sniffled, cuddling closer into her side, “It’s Noah who would.”

“Ah,” She whispered as he tightened her grip around you slightly, “I see.” 

“Yeah.” You whispered back, finding it difficult to speak through the lump that was beginning to 

rise in your throat. 

“He’ll come around, I promise,” Your mother let out a small chuckle before continuing, “He can’t really judge your relationship status when he’s dating his brother’s best friend.”

You both dissolved into light giggles at that, the situation really was bizarre, “That’s actually true.”

“So,” She spoke slowly, nudging your side, “Who’s the lucky guy?”

“Promise you won’t tell anyone?” She nodded sincerely, “Marco.” 

“Marco…” She mumbled with furrowed brows as realisation slowly set in, “Marco! Oh, he’s a cutie.” 

You laughed fondly as you entwined your fingers together in your lap, “Yeah, I would know.”

“You love him, don’t you.” It was a statement, not a question. 

You just nodded, smiling shyly as you turned to look at the woman beside you, “I wish we didn’t have to hide.”

“Your brothers will understand eventually, I promise,” and she bundled you up all snug in her arms and kissed your forehead as she spoke. 

“I hope so, I really do.”

-

A few days later, you and Marco were once again hanging out in the confines of your bedroom- though this time the interaction was much less heated as the two of you simply sat with your legs intertwined as you studied and helped each other with homework. If someone was to walk in right now you could brush it off as two friends simply hanging out. But, once again- Noah would beat up any guy who even looked at you. Any interaction could be seen as risky. 

“Hey,” Marco spoke, reaching over and rubbing his thumb over your clothed thigh, “Help me with this?” In return you smiled and leaned over to press a slow, teasing kiss to Marco’s lips- which he quickly reciprocated as he looped his arms around you.

Of course, Noah decided to walk in at that moment. 

“Hey Y/N-” You and Marco pulled away immediately and froze in place, staring at Noah who was practically steaming with anger, “You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.”

“Noah, wait-” Though your brother completely ignored you and stormed straight up to Marco, grabbing him by the collar and slamming his back against the wall. 

“My sister? My fucking sister? You made a mistake.”

“Noah!” You screamed, running to the side of him and grabbing the arm that clung to Marco, “Let go of him, I’m fine.” Though your pleads fell upon deaf ears.

“Out of all the people in the world you decided to play my sister?” Noah spat, getting up in Marco’s face, “You’re a fucking asshole, bro.”

“I’m not playing her,” Marco choked out, kicking at Noah’s legs and sending them both to the ground, “I love-”

“Don’t even say it.” Noah practically growled, landing a solid punch onto Marco’s face as they wrestled. Gasping at the sight of blood dripping from your boyfriend’s nose, you jumped forward and grabbed onto Noah’s shoulders- digging your nails into his skin in a way to replace the lack of strength you inhabited compared to him, “What the hell Y/N, get off me!”

“Get off of Marco then, he didn’t do anything wrong!”

“Y/N,” Your brother spoke sternly, “He was touching you.”

“Yes,” You yelled back, anger fizzling through every fibre of your being, “Because he is my boyfriend!” You dug your hands into your eyes, “I’m not a child anymore Noah, I don’t need you to protect me.” 

“Well, when you’re with boys like him maybe I do.”

“Boys like me?” Marco deadpanned, taking his hand from his steadily bleeding nose as he did so, “The hell does that mean?”

“Assholes that fuck around.”

“Flynn,” Marco spoke calmly, sitting down on the bed, “I’m sorry to say it but I love your sister, more than anything. I would never do anything to hurt her.” You smiled softly at him as he spoke, he returned it once he was done. 

“How do I know you’re telling the truth?”

“Trust me, I guess?” Marco shrugged, wincing as his nose began to sting, “Did you really have to punch me in the face though?”

“Yeah.” Noah insisted, throwing an arm over your shoulder which you attempted to shrug away, “Hurt my sister though and I will fucking kill you- we clear?”

“Sir, yes, sir!” Marco saluted as he walked over to you and looped his arms around your waist, laughing as he accidentally smeared blood onto your shirt. 

Yeah, your relationship was about to become ten times better already.

-

Would anyone be interested in being added to a tag list? If so, please send me an ask or message saying that you would like to be added! 

[ace-oreos]

Alpha, Anakin, and a Character Arc Cut Short

TL;DR: A semi-comprehensible character analysis of Alpha-17, what we were given, and what could have been.

Or: Alpha-17 won my heart in five minutes flat and I am determined to give him the content he deserves.

On personality:

- What did we see?

- What was implied/could be inferred?

- What could we have seen?

What did we see?

Alpha is introduced in a manner consistent with his personality: with very little fanfare, but decisive and forthright all the same. He is immediately stablished as a force to be reckoned with - or not, in the case of the Jedi he encounters on Kamino (Anakin, Obi-Wan, and Shaak Ti). From the start, we as readers are meant to understand that he brings a level of intensity that takes other characters aback.

But here's the key to this: Alpha presents himself this way without having an ulterior motive. He calls things as they are because he is not competing with anyone - he's not trying to build himself up in any particular way for any particular goal because he doesn't have to. He's proven himself without words or unnecessary demonstration through his status as an ARC trooper alone. (Not to say that he relies on this status to achieve personal ends, but that's another conversation.)

In each of his (limited) appearances, Alpha's pragmatism is at least noticed by a main character, if not outright contested. He favors mission completion (not only in a military sense, either) over compassion or justice. Undoubtedly a product of his training and the realization that allowing himself to give in to mercy on an impulse is a threat to everything he's been taught to protect, even at the cost of his life.

We also see a character who never shies away from the possibility that he won't live to see tomorrow. (Which isn't a surprise, given that he's a clone, but bear with me.) His place in the grand hierarchy is thrown into the open multiple times, and he himself reiterates it: his life does not - and never will - take priority over a Jedi's. (Whether he truly believes that is another source of speculation and depends on your take on him and the complexity of his character.) He's always known that someday there will be a fight he cannot win, but this doesn't deter him in the slightest.

In short: Alpha's role as an unsympathetic deuteragonist serves as a necessary contrast to the "balance and light" Jedi we're familiar with.

What was implied?

Alpha does not approach his role grudgingly, but neither does not take to it with any particular enthusiasm. Simply put, someone had to do it, and he just had a better chance of coming out on top than most people.

His infamous scene during the Battle of Kamino is telling. In order to protect later generations of clones from falling into Separatist hands, Alpha set the entire lab to self-destruct. When challenged by Shaak Ti, his only response is that he is following Jango's orders.

If you read between the lines, this is another indication that Alpha accepts the necessity - and the burden - of the role he was created to fulfill. He does not expect Jedi to deal the final blow because he already knows they can't; by making this decision, he is accepting responsibility, even though he casts the origins of his actions back to Jango.

(Side note: I find this an interesting show of trust in Jango's methods. Alpha could very well have made a different choice in this situation, but he returns to Jango and his orders. This is arguably an unexpected show of faith in someone I believe Alpha never fully trusted or loved, for lack of a better word.)

It's also implied that Alpha's singular focus on the mission - whatever it may be - is a conscious choice. Sarcastic remarks aside, we are treated to very few private thoughts/feelings from Alpha. I see this as a combination of a general wariness of making himself vulnerable and the idea that doubt or anything like that will undermine the mission he's expected to complete and/or come back to bite him in the end. He knows there's enough doubt among the ranks without him adding fuel to the fire.

In short: Alpha's overall approach to his duty is a deliberate choice meant to spare others the burden of guilt, regret, or uncertainty. Much of this stems from Jango's legacy.

What could have been?

If Alpha had been afforded the level of writing and detail many other characters received, I firmly believed it would have made for a compelling narrative.

I imagine that as the war dragged on, he became increasingly disillusioned with the Republic. (Another important detail here: Jango always told the Alpha ARCs to serve the Republic, not the Jedi themselves.) This raises a host of questions that could have contributed to a complex character arc.

First, how would he navigate feelings of uncertainty or disquiet? How could these potentially lead to growth? Conversely, how could this become a stumbling block?

I see it this way: he's been told since birth that his purpose in life is to defend the Republic and everything it stands for. Easy enough to go along with in an environment as closed and carefully regulated as Kamino - not so much once he's been exposed to a galaxy with ever-shifting viewpoints and beliefs. And I see him as someone who actively chooses to ignore those kinds of deep-seated doubts for fear of what might lie beyond or beneath.

So with all this in mind, this brings us to another set of questions: could he learn to accept this? Would we see a perceptible shift in his character? And - one that I do love to think about - what could this prompt him to do in the aftermath of Order 66, when the subsequent chaos might have given him a chance to leave behind the war and the only life he's known?

I don't think he would have mellowed out by any means. He's always been strong-willed by nature; any softening or changing of that would undermine fundamental aspects of his character. He is fiercely independent and devastatingly calculating and a vibrant character in his own way, and this should be left untouched.

And I so desperately wish Alpha's story didn't end on such an abrupt note. Having to adjust to his new reality after suffering such a serious injury at Boz Pity would have opened a window for further development.

In short: Alpha had the potential to be a nuanced, three-dimensional character. And I think it's a shame that he never got to appear in media outside of the Republic comics. And I will always enjoy examining deeper aspects of his character. And (to continue my gratuitous use of and) I will always love that Alpha was never only a hero or anti-hero; he is his own character who will never be limited by one-dimensional labels.

[naivesilver]

Is there any of the shitty Pinocchio adaptations that you think are bad but you still enjoy in how stupid and/or weird they are?

WELL. Well. Yes and no?

For one, almost all of the adaptations I despise have at least a tiny little something that I would save - that makes me mourn the fact we didn't get a better story built around it, even. Emperor of the Night, arguably the worst Pinocchio movie of all time, had this very peculiar theme of Pinocchio as a tool in the fight between good and evil that I would have KILLED for in any other instance; the Disney movie, for all its flaws, at least made the franchise known and gave us a very endearing Pinocchio/Lampwick combo; even the shittiest, cheapest cartoons were extremely entertaining for their intended audience.

Aside from that, though, I have a hard time enjoying the adaptations I complain about the most as a whole, because their mistakes are too glaringly obvious for me to ignore. (That's an issue on my part, bear in mind, not in theirs.) However, there are other, weirdly niche things I've seen that I know would be terrible if I were to put aside my personal taste. Blame childhood nostalgia, drunk rewatches, you name it. Life is already so goddamn weird, there's no point in pretending I only like good stuff and have never cried laughing in front of awful media.

Among them are, in no particular order:

Fairy Tale Police Department

Think Once Upon A Time, but it's an early 2000s low budget cartoon that most people have (rightfully) forgotten. The core cast is a team of detectives tasked with making sure fairy tales get their happy endings - they save Pinocchio from being turned into firewood on the very first episode, and after that he becomes their sort of...little helper? Funny sidekick? No one really knows.

Guys, he's so fucking annoying. He's literally the stupidest character on screen, second only to the male deuteragonist whose main personality trait is to flirt with anything that breathes. He doesn't do anything of use - they don't even take him on investigations except by accident (literally, I still remember that one episode where he was being so bothersome they sent him to clean the patrol car and then took the fucking car because they'd forgotten he was there. Child labor laws WHEN). I physically cringe every time he steps on the scene...

...but I grew up with that cartoon, so tragically, I got attached. 5yo had two crushes on that show - one was the vaguely butch female detective who took names and kicked ass, and the other was Pinocchio, because even then I had my priorities straightened out. I'll go to my grave knowing that among an endless flood of amazing characters (the Three Little Piglets were part of a MOB, for God's sake), I looked at a fastidious child and went "I want that one". Sigh.

Pinocchio (2002)

THE BANE OF MY EXISTENCE...This movie has ruined my every chance to be perceived as a proper film enthusiast forever again - I love it and I hate in equal measures, and I will NEVER recover from its influence.

Can you believe that this was the most expensive Italian movie ever made???? I can't wrap my head around it. Roberto Benigni went and asked for an outrageous budget, and those people GAVE IT TO HIM, knowing that in this movie no one playing a child would be under the age of 30, that Nicoletta Braschi would have the role of her balding husband's mother, and that all the additional Lampwick-and-Pinocchio screentime would be used to add weird homosexual vibes to the entire plot. Tangerine lollipops have been ruined forever, from my perspective.

Unfortunately, it's book accurate to a fault, down to the actors' accents, and it's clear it was a passion project, so I can't write it down in my personal Pinocchio Death Note. I wish I could, sometimes, though. Benigni in flowery ledehosen is a picture that's seared forever into my brain.

Huey, Dewey and Louie in "The Adventures of Pinocchio"

Allow me to be Italian on main for five minutes more. This one was published in multiple parts on Topolino comic books during the 90s, as part of the endless list of Disney parodies of famous movies/shows/books, and to call it weird would be an euphemism.

Basically, it's the book Pinocchio, but with a futuristic twist: Huey, Dewey and Louie play the titular character, except they're...robots? That want to become human?? And again, it follows Collodi's story, but the Disney characters play their book counterparts for some reason, and Gladstone plays Lampwick??? And the Cricket is a sentient traffic light with arms and legs????

Honestly, I wish I was exaggerating. But then again, it's almost impossible not to appreciate an adaptation that goes apeshit to this level. It's so ballsy it does a 360° and becomes great. What the fuck.

[peppersonironi]

Code Orange (Batfam/Young Justice Crossover)

{Read on Ao3)

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences (For language - Jason)

Category: Gen

Fandoms: Batman - All Media Types, Young Justice (Cartoon)

Relationships: Garfield Logan & M'gann M'orzz, Jason Todd & Bruce Wayne, Dick Grayson & Jason Todd, Tim Drake & Jason Todd, The Team (Young Justice) & Jason Todd

Characters: Jason Todd, M'gann M'orzz, Garfield Logan, Dick Grayson, Tim Drake, Kon-El | Conner Kent, Members of the Team (Young Justice), Stephanie Brown

Additional Tags: Humor, Crossover, Jason Todd Swears, Jason Todd Being a Little Shit, Good Older Sibling Dick Grayson, Meet the Batfamily (DCU), Post-Season/Series 02, Bruce Wayne Has Too Many Kids, Banter, Mild Language

Summary: Garfield was cut off by M'gann grabbing his wrist and flying out of the room as fast as she could. “Code Orange. Code Orange,” M'gann sent out to everyone on the Watchtower. “There is an intruder on the Watchtower! An ‘A’ level Villain. Armed. Repeat, there is an armed villain on the Watchtower.”

AKA: Red Hood decides he wants to see the Team, breaks in, and causes havoc. The bats are strangely friendly with someone who was supposed to be their villain.

A/N: Yo, I've had this sitting in my docs since … March? Well, i decided to put it out, seeing as I'm FINALLY seeing Season Three! Although this fic doesn't include it. Think of this as post-season two, and just ignoring season three. Full batfam are just never introduced to the Team.

WORK-

It was a slow weekend on the Watchtower, with no missions, catastrophes, or alien invasions. So most of the Team and League were either at home, or chilling in the space station.

The latter was exactly what Garfield and M'gann were doing. They had been on the Watchtower for the entirety of the morning, playing various types of board games. Every so often someone would pop in on them, but for the most part they were enjoying some sibling bonding time.

“You know what we need?” Garfield asked in the middle of Candy Land.

“No, I thought we were doing just fine the way we were,” M'gann replied, confused.

Garfield scoffed. “Food, obviously! I'm starving! Let's head to the cafeteria and see if Bart left any ice cream.”

*****

They didn't find any ice cream. Though, what was there was alarming.

M'gann and Garfield had strode into the cafeteria finding it almost empty. The single occupant was a man in cargo pants, a leather jacket, and a red helmet. He also wore a gray armored shirt, which had some sort of red symbol. The symbol was obscured, however, by the ginormous gun he was cleaning.

M'gann recognized him immediately as the Red Hood, a top-tier crime lord from Gotham.

“Why Hello, Miss Martian. Beast Boy.” Red Hood didn’t even look up.

“Hey sis, did someone new join the team or -”

Garfield was cut off by M'gann grabbing his wrist and flying out of the room as fast as she could. “Code Orange. Code Orange,” M'gann sent out to everyone on the Watchtower. “There is an intruder on the Watchtower! An ‘A’ level Villain. Armed. Repeat, there is an armed villain on the Watchtower.”

“That was a villain?!” Garfield asked in a surprised voice as he raced along with M’gann.

“Yes, Garfield. Red Hood. I have no idea how he got here though. We need to gather everyone. Make sure they're ready for a fight. Especially Nightwing and Robin, he's a Gotham villain, so they should know what to do.”

Garfield nodded, changed into a hawk, and flew off.

Soon almost everyone was gathered outside the cafeteria's doors. Garfield had yet to bring Nightwing, but Robin was present, and at the front of the group. The only adult leaguer present was Captain Marvel, who had been on monitor duty at the time. The major leaguers - including the big three - were on some sort of low threat level assignment.

“M'gann, report,” Aqualad spoke when he made his way to the front of the group where M'gann stood, blocking Conner from jumping the gun and attacking without a plan.

“Garfield and I were on our way to get some food, when we walked in on The Red Hood cleaning a large gun threateningly. I pulled Gar out as fast as possible and alerted everyone.”

Robin groaned loudly. “Hood? Of all the days to infiltrate the Watchtower, he chose today?”

Aqualad frowned. “You do not seem that alarmed. Is he not as dangerous as we have been told?”

Robin snorted. “Oh, he’s dangerous alright. Tried to kill me multiple times, almost succeeded too. But right now I’m just annoyed.”

Superboy grunted. “That doesn’t matter right now! There is a villain in our lunch room! We need to do something!”

Robin shrugged. “Do what you want. B is gonna kill me either way.”

No one understood what Robin meant, so they decided to follow Kon’s advice. Aqualad took charge.

“We enter on three. Blue Beetle, Rocket, Kid Flash, and Wondergirl go right. Superboy, Lagoon Boy, Miss Martian, and Captain Marvel go left. Zatanna and Robin, follow me. Try to encircle him. Get him talking, and see if we can figure out what he wants. M’gann, link us up.”

Robin grumbled, but nodded along with everyone else. M’gann activated the mind link. Once everyone had given the affirmative, Aqualad began the count.

“One. Two. Three. Go!”

Everyone burst through the doors and assumed their positions. The Red Hood was still sitting where M’gann had said. He was still cleaning his gun, though he paused when the Team entered.

“Took you long enough. I was getting bored.”

Robin glared at Red Hood. “What are you doing here, Hood?”

The intruder seemed to smile under his helmet. “Why’re you so grumpy today, babybird? I was getting bored in Gotham. Figured I’d stop by and say hello to the Team.” Hood turned to look at the rest of the Team and waved. “Hey Team. Captain Marvel. How’re you doing?”

No one replied. Red Hood sighed and shook his head. “No one cares about me.”

“Dude, there is a full attack force ready to beat the crap out of you,” Blue Beetle said. “I’m pretty sure there are people who care that you’re here.”

Red Hood chuckled. “You couldn’t beat me if you tried. Tell ‘em, Replacement.”

Robin smirked. “Not after what I saw last week. You were taken down by two low level thugs.”

Red Hood groaned. “Dude, I was drunk.”

No one had the chance to question this as it was at that exact moment that Beast Boy burst into the room followed closely by Nightwing. He had his escrima sticks out, and looked ferocious.

“Hey ‘wing! Nice of you to join us.” Red Hood sounded positively gleeful.

Nightwing, instead of attacking, groaned and put his weapons away. “This is what you called me for? It's just Hood.”

Aqualad frowned. “Is not the Red Hood a security level A enemy? Shouldn’t you be worried?”

Red Hood shook his head. “Level A? I’m flattered! Maybe you and B do care!”

Nightwing sighed, walked over to Hood, and collapsed on the sofa beside him. The Team was shocked to say the least.

“ ‘Course we care, Hood.” Nightwing said, causing many gasps.

“Nightwing,” Aqualad said, “What are you talking about? Is not this man one of your Rogues? Robin said that he tried to kill him multiple times!”

Nightwing just shrugged. “So? He’s tried to kill me too.”

Red Hood tilted his head as he looked at Robin. “You still go by Robin, here? Boy, Demon-spawn is going to kill you!”

Robin crossed his arms and glared. “It was easier. Do you know how long it takes to change your Zeta Settings?”

Red Hood nodded sagely. “So you were too lazy.”

Robin spluttered, but didn’t deny the accusations.

“Are we forgetting,” Conner said, “That there is a villain in the Watchtower? How did he get in?!”

“Hey Red,” Nightwing asked, grinning, “How’d you get up here, anyway?”

Red Hood seemed to smirk under his helmet. “Blackmail is a glorious thing.”

There was an uproar in the mind link. Accusations flew. Who had Red Hood blackmailed? What did he know about them that could possibly warrant an unauthorized visit to the Watchtower? What was almost as scary was how nonchalant Nightwing seemed. Robin also didn’t seem that worried. In fact he looked … sheepish?

Nightwing laughed. “Whatever he has on you, Robin, must be good!”

“Robin!” M’gann exclaimed. He was the last person anyone expected to be Blackmailed. The bats were so secretive, no one really knew anything about them. This situation with Red Hood being a prime example.

“Hermano,” Blue Beetle said, clearly distressed, “How could you do this?”

Robin just shrugged. “He knew something bad, guys. It couldn’t get out.”

Nightwing looked positively gleeful, the exact opposite of what everyone else was feeling. “Come on, Hood. What did he do?”

Red Hood was shaking with laughter. “He brewed his coffee with a mix of Red Bull and Monster, then topped it off with four Five Hour Energy’s, and three double shots of espresso. When he was on strict orders to sleep.”

“Timothy Jackson Drake!” Nightwing exclaimed, sitting up. He seemed more exasperated than angry. “We’ve talked about this! You are going to get yourself killed if you keep going on like this!”

Robin did not look the least bit apologetic. “Hood! You said you wouldn’t tell!”

Red Hood shrugged. “I said I wouldn’t tell Agent A or Bats. You didn’t say anything about Nightwing or the Team.”

Robin collapsed on the nearest chair. “I’m dead, aren’t I?”

Nightwing nodded. “You are so grounded after this. I’m telling Agent A, and we’re changing all your coffee to decaf!”

Robin groaned. The rest of the Team was confused. For one thing, that wasn’t necessarily that bad of a thing to hide? Sure it was disgusting, but it's not like Robin killed anyone. For another, who did that to their coffee?! But the most worrisome was how did Red Hood know about that? He must have been close to the bird. And how did he know Agent A? Not even the OG Team members had met the mysterious Agent A, who coordinated and cared for the Bats.

“That still doesn’t answer why there is a villain in our cafeteria!” Rocket exclaimed. There were several agreeing nods.

Red Hood sighed. “I told you, I’m here to say hi!” He turned to Robin, “I haven’t seen you in ages.” Though he spoke toward Robin, the Team couldn’t help but feel like he was talking to everyone in the room.

Just then, Kid Flash flew into the room. The lightning trailing from his wake crackled quietly as he stopped next to Aqualad.

“I heard that we had an infiltration and - woah! It's the Red Hood! Why didn’t you tell me it was him! Awesome!” There was a flash, and Kid Flash was standing over Red Hood with a notebook and pen in hand. “Can I have your autograph?”

Nightwing looked like he was trying not to laugh, Robin looked slightly peeved, and everyone else was just confused.

Red Hood’s face wasn’t visible, but his body language clearly showed how pleased he was. “Now this is how you should be treating me!” Hood spoke and he signed the page that Kid Flash helpfully pointed out. “How does ‘Red Hood, to the only decent speedster I’ve ever met’ sound?”

Kid Flash was grinning. “Perfect! Thanks so much! All the info surrounding you was pretty vague in the timelines, so I wasn’t sure if you were even back yet! Or working with the bats again. But boy am I glad you are! You’ve always been my favorite! Do you know how cool you are, dude?!”

Red Hood tilted his head. “Of course I do, kid. Glad someone else sees it though.” He seemed to glare at Nightwing as he said the last part, who only shook his head.

Kid Flash got his notebook back and positively bounced over to Blue Beetle. “Dude did you see this? He actually signed it!”

Blue Beetle frowned. “Why did you want his autograph in the first place?”

Red Hood spluttered, clearly annoyed. “Why wouldn’t he?”

“Yeah,” Kid Flash said, “Why wouldn’t I want the autograph of clearly the best Outlaw?” He paused to think. “Are you with the Outlaws yet?”

Red Hood shrugged. “I haven’t seen either of them in a few months, but we are meeting next week for an … outing.”

Nightwing snorted and muttered something that sounded suspiciously like “mercenaries and drugs. What could go wrong.”

Red Hood glared at Nightwing. “Like nothing you ever do goes wrong.”

Nightwing snorted. “Yeah, but I never leave a trail of bodies.”

“Okay, one, the bodies were on purpose,” Hood said, “And two, I stopped! No more killing people for widdle ol’ me.”

“Mostly.” Robin said.

“Mostly,” Red Hood agreed.

“Why is their bickering so familiar?” M’gann asked.

“It’s like they’re siblings,” Captain Marvel replied.

“Oh Gosh,” Kid Flash said, “You guys really don’t -”

Suddenly Nightwing, Robin and Red Hood stiffened in unison. The air seemed to drop several degrees. Then Batman strode into the room flanked by Superman and Wonder Woman.

“Thank the gods,” Wondergirl said. “This guy just showed up, he said he blackmailed Robin into letting him up, and Nightwing isn’t doing anything about it! Please tell us you -”

“Uncle Clark! Aunt Diana!” Red Hood seemed strangely happy to see the most powerful people in the League. He even knew their civilian names! There were several gasps.

Wonder Woman strode forward, and Red Hood sprang up to meet her. “ Red Hood! So good to see you. How has your life been my little warrior?” They hugged briefly, and Beast Boy almost fainted.

“Pretty good, Aunt Diana. You know, a little dark, a little gloomy. And, as always, hey, full of dead people. What are you gonna do?”

Robin snorted. “Did you just quote Hercules at Wonder Woman? An Amazon?”

Wonder smiled - quite motherly, Kaldur thought in the mind link - at Red Hood. “It's been too long my dear. Next time you have a day off, come find me in Paris. We should spend more time together.”

“I’ll be sure to!”

Wonder Woman stepped to the side to allow Superman forward. “Really, how have you been kiddo?”

“I’m not a kid anymore, supes. Haven’t been since I was fifteen and you know it.” Superman seemed to flinch, which in and of itself was a shock. Red Hood shrugged. “But I’ve been good. Had to deal with these idiots a lot,” he gestured to Nightwing and Robin, both of whom looked indignant, “but … I’ve been good.”

Superman smiled. “Great. You should come to the farm sometime, Ma misses you.”

“He can - he’s gone to the farm?!” Superboy couldn’t hold back his shock. He had only just been allowed to go, and meet Ma Kent.

Red Hood nodded as Superman stepped aside to join Wonder Woman. “Of course, I’ve been coming for years.”

Superboy was slack jawed at this revelation, and, despite much cajoling from his teammates, was unable to close his mouth.

“Hood.” Batman said. He spoke tiredly, in a way no one in the Team had ever heard him use before. “Do you have to traumatize everyone you meet?”

“Oh, you wanna talk about trauma?” Red Hood’s voice was filled with a maliciously gleeful tone. “ ‘Cause you should hear about this one time, I was hanging out with the Joker - just chilling, y’know - and then -”

Red Hood was cut off by a grimacing Nightwing punching him in the shoulder. “Not now, okay?”

“Come on, I’m sure the gang would love to hear all the gruesome details …”

“Hood,” Batman repeated slightly more urgently. “What are you doing on the Watchtower?”

Red Hood sighed. “For the last time, I wanted to say hi to the Team. I haven’t seen these guys in ages.”

“We have never met before,” Aqualad said, confused.

Red Hood shook his head. “They don’t remember me.” He seems thoughtful for a moment. “Maybe there weren’t enough explosions.”

“Hood,” Batman continued. “You know you aren’t allowed up here without permission. Which you just had to ask for. I would have set up a time to let you see everyone.”

This time when the Team was surprised, Nightwing and Robin joined in; Their faces twin depictions of shock.

Red Hood didn’t seem to care, though. “Since when have I ever asked you for anything, old man. Besides, this way is more fun. Drama, and all that sh*t.” He sat back on the sofa. “You should have seen their faces! Best fun I’ve had since Nightwing and I got drunk in Blüdhaven a few weeks back!”

Batman whirled to Nightwing, who was looking quite sheepish. “You did what?”

Nightwing shrugged. “It had been a long night, and I was getting over a bad break up. Hood was being an outstanding citizen by aiding me in my hour of need!”

“F*** yeah, Big-Wing!”

Batman shook his head. “Hood, you aren’t of legal drinking age, there is no way you were being an outstanding citizen.”

The Team could barely keep up. Nightwing and Red Hood were close enough to get drunk together? Hood was under twenty one? Batman seemed close enough to Hood to know he was under twenty one. Well, that last one could be easily explained: he was Batman after all.

Red Hood grumbled his assent before perking up. “Hey bats, is that why you still have me down as a villain on the official League files?”

Batman seemed at a loss for words. He just employed his signature BatGlare™  on the intruder. Red Hood didn’t seem affected at all, which could easily be taken as the most surprising thing about the whole encounter. Even Superman flinched at the BatGlare™.

“Do you understand the mixed signals you’re sending me?” Hood Continued. “I mean, I’m allowed to Sunday dinner, but I’m also classified as one of the most dangerous criminals on earth?”

“Sunday dinner?” Several people asked in unison.

“Don’t get me wrong, I’m flattered that you think so high of me, but I changed to f***ing rubber bullets for you! Doesn’t that give me some credit? Or were you just too lazy to change it. Like Replacement over here, who still goes by Robin.”

“Yes, of course you deserve to be taken off the list. You’ve made so much progress. I’ll change your file as soon as I can.” He frowned. “And for the love of god, please call Tim by his name, or hero moniker.”

“Yeah, call me by my name, Hood!” Robin seemed to be rolling his eyes under his domino mask. “There’s a first time for everything.”

Red Hood looked appeased. “Good.” He collapsed back on the couch and continued to clean his gun.

Batman sighed. “Do you want something else?”

“Well, now that you’re asking …” Red Hood seemed exceptionally sly. “It is getting a bit boring in here.” he paused as if to think. “Hey! We should throw a party! "

Batman glowered. "No. The last time I let you have a party, the Bat cave was covered in glitter for three days straight!"

“You’ve held parties in the Batcave?” Aqualad asked.

Red Good sighed and shook his head. "Good times, good times. But you forget that that glitter was purple. I wasn’t completely to blame!”

Batman sighed once more, while Robin sat up straight.

“Is that why Spoiler didn’t come to the house for a week?”

Nightwing nodded. “Yup. She was too scared to see Agent A. Though she wouldn’t mind yelling at B.”

“And flip him off while doing so.” Red Hood sighed contentedly. “I taught her well.”

“You didn’t teach her anything!” Nightwing contradicted. “She’s been flipping people off since before you returned to Gotham! She gave the single-fingered salute B when they first met - with a smile on her face!”

The Team wondered who could be so brave, none of them were.

Red Hood seemed overjoyed. “Really? Why haven’t I heard about this before! How did Batsy react?”

“Like a deer in headlights,” Robin replied, smirking.

Red Hood began to clap. “She makes the Robin legacy proud, doesn’t she?”

“Does that mean this girl was a Robin?” Rocket asked.

“Batman reacted like a deer in headlights?” Captain Marvel added.

Nightwing nodded sardonically. “Yes, because pissing off Batman is exactly what I had in mind when I started Robin.”

“I wouldn’t be surprised, Golden Boy,” Red Hood snorted, “You’ve swung off of and broken enough chandeliers for it to be coincidance.”

Nightwing grimaced. “So there have been some casualties.”

Batman shook his head. “Casualties?”

Robin nodded quite seriously. “Of course, B. How else would you know to get gymnastic equipment?”

“He could have asked. Instead I had to spend thousands of dollars every time Nightwing decided he wanted to try some new trapeze routine.” Batman shook his head. “Why do all of you decide it's your job to vandalize my home?”

Robin raised his hands. “Hey, I didn’t destroy anything important!”

“No, you just randomly got rid of my computers when you decided we needed an upgrade.”

“Well we did!”

“Hah! I’ve never done any permanent damage to your house!” Red Hood seemed very self satisfied.

Batman, Nightwing, and Robin paused for a moment, thinking.

“That,” Robin said, “Is truly depressing.”

“Hn,” Batman replied.

“Good job Hood,” Nightwing said, “You have managed not to disappoint B in one field.”

Red Hood seemed to roll his eyes. “Don’t worry, I make up for it in all the other ways!”

“Can someone PLEASE explain to me what’s going on?” Garfield asked, bouncing in place.

All the bats turned to look at him in unison, causing the kid to shrink back and hide behind M’gann. A moment later, though, Red Hood sighed audibly. He reached up and felt for some hidden latches in his hamlet. There was a click and he pulled it off. Underneath was a red domino mask. He reached up and pulled that off next.

There were several gasps from the OG Team. The man before them was older, his jaw-line matured, scars littering his face. He had a white streak in his hair and blue eyes rimmed with a pulsing poisonous green. But they still recognized him.

“What?” Zattanna whispered, her eyes wide.

“You’re …” Conner began,shocked, “You’re alive?”

“How?”  Rocket asked. “You were dead.”

In unison, the five people who knew the stranger turned to Nightwing.

“You said you wouldn’t fake any more deaths!” M’gann announced, anger flowing through her.

“How could you, Dick?” Kaldur asked, frowning insteansly. “No more secrets, you promised.”

Nightwing sighed. “I had no part in this, let me tell you. It was the Al Ghuls. We didn’t find out till a year ago.”

“That’s still a year you took to tell us!” Conner glared.

Nightwing shrugged. “It was extenuating circumstances, alright? Not completely my choice.”

Seeing that questioning Dick would be fruitless, Zatanna turned back to the Red Hood. “how are you alive?”

He grinned. “The Lazarus Pit does wonders for the skin, let me tell you.”

This brought a stir throughout the room. Everyone had heard of the legendary substance that granted Ra’s Al Ghul immortality.

“Someone still needs to tell me who this is,” Cassie said, her hands on her hips.

Batman sighed. “Everyone, this is Jason Peter Todd, my son, and the second Robin.”

Everyone who didn’t already know blinked several times.

“The hologram in the park?” Jaime asked. “The one who was killed by the Joker?”

“The very one!” Jason grinned. “Nice to know some people know me.”

“I thought there were only two Robins?” La'gaan stated more than asked with a frown.

In unison, Nightwing, Red Hood, Robin, and even Superman started to laugh.

“Oh kid,” Jason said, grabbing his sides, “you’re adorable!”

“Only two Robins,” Superman said, grinning, “Batman wishes.”

Nightwing was choking with laughter, but once he’d calmed down, he looked at La’gaan again, and proceeded to break down again.

“Two Robins?!” Robin looked in awe, “Wow, now that’s a thought.”

“I’m sorry?” La'gaan asked. He didn’t look sorry.

“There have been five Robins,” Red Hood explained after a moment, “Six if you count that new kid. But that whole thing was kinda weird.”

“Six?!” several people announced, and looked at Batman, who nodded.

“How come we’ve never met them?” M’gann asked, “Nightwing, how could you not have told us?”

“You haven’t met them ‘cause most of the bats stick to Gotham,” Robin answered, “there hasn’t a need to drag everyone up here. Let alone the Robins.”

“Wait,” Zattanna said, “There are more bats?”

NIghtwing laughed again. “Oh boy, you guys really know nothing? Do any of you pay attention to Gotham?” There were several sheepish smirks, and Nightwing sighed. “Artemis is the only one who actually gets this, isn’t she?”

Jason frowned. “I wish she was here today, I wanted to say high.” he then looked at the still confused faces of the hero community. He stood up dramatically, as if about to start a grand speech.“Okay, rundown. You know Batman, obviously. Dicky-bird over there was the first Robin. I was the second. Then you have Timbo who was the third-”

“Was?” several people asked.

“I still go by Robin up here ‘cause it's easier-”

“He’s too lazy to change his codes, we already established this,” Jason interrupted, glaring, “After him you have Robin four, that was for the time that Tim’s dad banned him from the roll. Then he died, and she died, so Tim was back to being Robin.” he ignored the several open mouthed faces and persevered, “then you have the little gremlin who’s currently Robin. He’s the ‘bloodson’ which he takes very seriously, so don’t tell him that just because daddybats over there and Talia Al Ghul hooked up means that he’s the F***ing savior.” Everyone turned to stare at Batman.

“Talia Al Ghul?” Jaime asked, “Isn’t she an assassin?”

“Yup!” Nightwing announced, drawing attention onto him. “And the kid’s a cutie!”

Tim scoffed. “That’s not half the bats though,” he pointed out. “You have Batwoman, Batwing … hey, Azrael counts, right?”

“I mean,” Dick said, “He was Batman at one point, and lives in Gotham so yeah. He’d probably not want to be called that though.”

Jason laughed. “He and Leslie think we’re all crazy. I mean, they’re right, but still.”

Tim laughed. “Yup! Then you have the batgirls, number one, you guys know her. She’s Oracle now, a behind the scenes tech support goddess. Then Batgirl number two, she goes by Black Bat now, takes care of Hong Kong when she’s not visiting home and being the favorite child.”

Batman frowned. “I don’t have favor-”

“You do.” All three former Robins said in unison.

“So yeah,” Dick continued, “She’s awesome. Easily kicks our butts - including B! But after her you have Spoiler, the third Batgirl, and fourth Robin. After her there’s Catwoman -” there were several gasps. “Oh yeah, she and Bats are totally a thing - have been for years. You wouldn’t be surprised if you saw their flirting! There was this one time when I was Robin, I was supposed to case a building while B went after Cat, right? Well when i got there, they were already half-”

“That’s enough.” Batman growled, and Nightwing grinned.

“Moving on!” Jason announced, “since we all have horrible memories of batcat freaky roof time, you have Huntress, and Blue Bird. Then The Signal - he was kinda a half Robin, in a gang war sort of way. But that’s not important. He’s the only meta protege of batsy’s, and if that doesn’t scream second favorite child, I don’t know what does!”

“You allow metas in Gotham now?!” Garfield asked.

“No.” all the bats announced in unison.

“Signal is the exception, and if you met him, you’d understand. Easily the sanest out of all of us.” Jason explained with a wink.

“Relatively the sanest!” Tim announced. “He literally jumped out of a police car, of a bridge, into the Gotham river, while saying ‘I am Robin. Plus, he handled the demon spawn on a rampage. He’s just as crazy as the rest of us.”

“None of this explains why we haven’t met these people!” Connor said.

Batman sighed heavily. “Fine. I’ll set up a meeting, check out who’s in town and such. Not today though, there’s a drug bust going down and no one’s available. Besides, they don’t even know what’s going on up here.”

Jason let out an awkward cough, and sat gingerly down on the couch. He seemed … guilty?

“Jason.” Batman growled in warning.

“I’m sorry, B!” Jason said, despite looking more along the lines of gleeful. “Blondie asked what I was doing today, and you know how hard it is to lie to her!”

Batman groaned - honest to gosh groaned! - and pinched the bridge of his nose. “She’s on her way right now, isn’t she?”

Jason shrugged. “She said something about grabbing snacks.”

Tim groaned. “We’re all dead.”

“What’s going on?” M’gann asked, “Why would this be bad?”

Dick sighed. “Spoiler is just … special.”

As if on cue, the door to the room crashed open dramatically, smoke seeping in. A purple clad figure stood dramatically in its wake, her cape swirling and arms raised over her head. She held two boxes of Munchkins in each fist.

“What’s up B*tches?” She asked. “I brought donuts!”

[galaxies-unknown-a]

1 4 and 5

[Meme for Roleplay Muns!]

1.) What is your favorite trope to RP?

In general, I just love fluff- but I do enjoy some good 'tol guardian' and 'smol chaotic bean' (or vice versa). My general tropes that I tend to love the most are things like 'guess we're stuck together or we die' and 'I know how this plays out, so f_ck it we're gonna change it'. Since the second involves a level of godmodding/infomodding I know most people hate, I tend to avoid it for sanity's sake.

I also just... Love long talks? At night? Or during rainy weather? Or both??? Like-- that is kind of a scenario more than a trope but-- I LOVE the whole ‘guess we’ve nothing to do but chat’ business.. Which is what most of my RPs become at this point, honestly.

And tropes like ‘this character looks completely innocent and precious but damn if they couldn’t kill you in twenty different ways with a random coffee mug from Walmart’. Even if it’s just a referencing as opposed to one character threatening another, I still love the implications of these characters that look so innocent.. But mate, they could WHOOP your ass.

4.) What old character would you love to bring back?

There's over 150 characters I've roleplayed in the past five? Six?-years. So that's a big list to choose from. But... The few I really want to bring back are as follows: Crystal the Lost Miner (old Minecraft S/I turned OC) Reap the Hollow (a literal monster that used to be human OC) Willow Fae Feather (Sonic Movie OC, last of the ringmaker-owls)

I've considered bringing each of them back, but I've never gone through with it.- Despite the fact that the thought has crossed my mind multiple times. If you want to see their old blogs (which may suffer a reboot if anyone shows interest in said OCs b/c give me a chance to RP them I dare you), then here they are (in the same order as the aforementioned characters):

@crystalizedfate @madeinbetrayal @mobianringmaker

5.) What is a character you love, but don't think you can write?

That’s... Kinda tough. When I RP doubles/for others on Discord and the like, I pride myself on being able to RP as ‘anyone’. I’ve done irredeemable assholes, sweethearts, villains who have hearts of gold, heroes with corrupt morals, evil for the sake of evil, good for the sake of good... But I guess I just don’t like playing straight-up villains that have zero redeeming qualities whatsoever? I do play them for the sake of others when I do double-ups, but I hate playing as straight-up villains.

Like... Even my villains- those I RP as- are usually at least a hint tame/tempered, because I just... Don’t like playing characters that are fully, completely irredeemable asshats? So... While I love Metal Sonic, in most media he’s portrayed as evil for the sake of it, so I don’t like playing his canon-compliant self (although the 1980s [I think] movie portrayed him with at least one redeeming quality so I’d be more down for that version). 

Bill Cipher and Swindle are, indeed, villains- but I gave them both redeeming qualities. Bill Cipher is slowly earning a heart, and Swindle was actually (in my AU) made villainous due to bad circumstance and trauma- whiiiich he is working on overcoming. So I guess I’ll play a villain, so long as I can slowly work on making them a better person/being.

[sometimesrosy]

I haven’t come to your blog in quite some time... after t100 ended, I lost interest in tumblr for a while. But I was active here once, and we had many a discussion. I came to see if you enjoyed bridgerton, despite the not so accurate clothing and such. I think it’s super cheesy and really fun to watch, and I know you enjoy period dramas

Yeah, I’m still here-- mainly because I work online, so when I break from work I make the rounds of my social media, and tumblr is one of them. It’s less active here because the fandom has mostly disappeared, not that I blame people. I also have a hard time posting about the positive aspects of The 100 because it just imploded so spectacularly. Still a big disappointment.

BUT

I have moved on. I was honestly ready to be done with intense fandom, because it’s just not good for my mental health and I was tired of the negativity. I don’t understand why people get angry when other people enjoy a thing, and think they have to come in and ruin it for them. Like, buzz off, we’re working on coping skills to get through our dumpster fire lives. 

AND YES I love Bridgerton.

Actually, I love the book series Bridgerton and it was one of my favorites in the last couple of years.

And this is related to my The 100 fandom experience, because for a while, I wasn’t reading books, I was only reading bellarke fanfic, but then, due to a shift in the fanfic community and my discomfort with the fandom (knowing that a lot of them didn’t like me) I began to feel weird about reading and writing fanfic. Like when I liked someone’s story, was I giving kudos to someone who bullied me on anon? I didn’t know.  And at the same time I’d begun ghostwriting romances, so to do research, I started reading published romances.

The first one I read was a secret baby trope, because that was what I was writing, and I fell into historical fiction. I read Kleypas and Dare and Milan and Maclean and yes, Quinn.  That took the place of my fanfic reading. To be honest, I wouldn’t have been able to be a ghostwriter if I hadn’t been a fanfic writer first, because, even though I have writing education and training and experience, fanfic taught me to write for audience, to do it fast without that certain...anxiety about perfectionism, and immersed me in romantic tropes, which it turns out, I really love. 

This is a lot of chit chat to say that yes, I saw Bridgerton and I love Bridgerton. 

I would suppose that historical romances have taken the place of my the 100 obsession. I read probably one a day. I should keep track on goodreads or something, but I do a lot of rereading. Like I’ll reread a beloved book or series five or six times. And when I forget the details of ones I liked, I’ll reread those too. Also I’m probably dealing with my internalized snobbery about the romance genre. Let me tell you, getting an education in creative writing in college installs some “issues” with genre. Everything is supposed to be lit fic, or it’s lesser. I’ve been kind of pugnacious about the sff genre and haven’t let the snobbery interfere with my love of it, but I haven’t gotten over the romance snobbery, which is not JUST snobbery but also internalized misogyny.

But I mean, fuck it. I am so sick of grimdark and tragedies and “cool edgy” dudes thinking women should be destroyed and tortured and betrayed in movies and sff and fiction in general. 

I don’t WRITE historical romances. I write contemporary romances for my ghostwriting gigs (I have one client and I’ve written like 18 novels and novellas for her in the last two years. It’s fun, but it doesn’t make very much money and the deadlines are VERY tight.) However I don’t READ contemporary romances, I read historicals. I like the level of fantasy involved and the distance from reality when I read it, but I am bothered too much buy the imperial colonialism and classism of regency or victorian british settings to write it. Also, that would take so much research to write to my liking. I am involved in romancelandia (romance writing twitter,) but not very active. Mostly I just listen and learn and sometimes comment. 

In fact. I follow a woman who judges regency and victorian costuming in film productions. https://twitter.com/BillAndTedTest She has not gotten around to doing Bridgerton yet. 

How do I feel about the costuming??? Well, I’m divided. I am bothered by the fact that Daphne never wears a pelisse and always has half up hair. I am bothered by the fact that Simon almost never has his cravat tied properly and has a shockingly bare neck. And the fabrics and stitching are visibly cheap.

But I also feel that except for the cheap fabrication which was an element of budget and time, a lot of the design choices were stylistic in nature. Like, if you look at the background characters, I feel that their costumes were more accurate, but with the main characters, they really went for character over accuracy. They didn’t want Daphne in any of the buttoned up outfits because they wanted her to be a girlish, romantic ingenue. They wanted Simon to show as a dashing sexy rake, so the buttoned up thing wouldn’t work for him, and they gave him the open neck that would be more appealing to a contemporary audience. (although while Simon is very handsome I actually find Anthony more sexy. He’s buttoned up...but it’s holding back all passion inside. BUT THAT’S a story for season 2. I can’t wait. I liked book 2 better than 1 mostly because of the rape, tbh. But I also love books 4,6 and 7 and I don’t know if we’ll get there.)

They wanted Lady Featherington to be crass and pushy so they gave her a nonsensical victorian silhouette. I mean. ???? It was SO different from anyone else’s. Weird choice, but for the character it kind of makes her appear to be a more aggressive character type from LATER in time? IDK. Of course Penelope is canonically dressed in awful gowns that are not flattering and I’m looking forward to how they end up dressing her for her book. And praying that we get a season 4. But I mean, the costume choices for the Featheringtons are BASED on Lady F’s bad taste, so there’s some leeway with her not being in style.

So. That is A LOT when you asked a little question. I guess I wanted to talk about it. I’m not allowed to talk about my ghostwriting or the stories I’m writing because I signed a hushhush contract. I’m not accustomed to being in a fandom for reading books-- remember I only joined fandom in the last 5 years for The 100, and then had some bad experiences so didn’t get into other fandoms. I don’t really even know how it would work especially not MULTIPLE books and authors instead of one series, so I haven’t really had conversations about the historical romances, except for a bit of twitter discussion. 

[pokedash55]

Acronix X Coffee Robot Crack AU

SUGGEST READING MY ECHO MEETS ACRONIX FIC BEFORE THIS

IT BUILDS ON THIS WACKY WORLD OF MINE

Click for Echo Meets Acronix Fic

To summarize//TL;DR: Acronix falls out of the time vortex at the light house a befriends Echo Zane, learns empathy and put Echo on Social media so everyone knows he exists now. 

-After he leaves echo zane with a borg watch he finds himself back in Ninjago

-Stalks borg and his fam like a creep

-Jay introduces Echo to the dyer family

-Echo and unagami are siblings now

-Acronix is kinda like Echos big brother

-But no one else accepts this

-Zane and Pix give skeptical and menacing, “if you touch him” glares

-Unagami is confused babi and likes their new brother echo

-So Like One day it’s Borg, Pix, Zane, Jay, Unagami, Echo, and Milton dyer, and Acronix in a room together  (Fic on that later :3 )

-The whole fam

-Nixie just lingers around borg tower saying random junk sometimes

-Acronix : “You either die a villian or live long enough to see yourself become…”

-Pix: “A very annoying customer who is about to be escorted out of the building?”

-“UH NO. Wrong answer Pix (“dont call me pix”). REDEEMED. Cause I’m like… totally redeemed now”

-Just holds up a high five for the room and left hanging by everyone

-Jay’s like :Yeeeoree not part of our group”

-So like Acronix and Echo Zane are bro’s now cause I said so??

-Everyone: Nix is part of the Borg Family

-Me: Well YES, but actually no

-This isn't really a Future thing

-In this they're mostly frenemies kinda??

-But Acronix does really like him and borg tower and Borg is too nice to throw him out XD

-Acronix has zip money and doesn’t FEEL like looking for Krux rn

-Gets his morning coffee everyday bro

-Starts crushin on the Coffee manager (naming her shannon after the voice actor)

-His routine is basically wake up, coffee, Shannon, stalk borg, watch memes, think about looking for kux than fall asleep on phone

-Posts bout his lil bro alot (echo)

-Posts about Shannon ALOT

-Many many selfies of him an his coffee

-Realizes he may need to get someplace to live since he had yet to venture for krux

-Shoot money is a thing he doesn’t have

-Borg be super kind like, “You can stay at my Newly renovated highly advanced Borg Hotel but you must get a job.”

-Acronix gestures at being one of those technology intern clerks at borg industries. “Is for me?”

-”Must get a job AND leave my family alone…. For now… please?”

-Borg is too nice to the guy who kidnapped him and is infatuated with living at borg tower

-Does borg live in borg tower?

-Gunna say he does

-Cause Acronix just LOITERS in borg tower 24/7

-Like its like hours after closing of the downstairs shop and Pix is like getting her suit on and forcefully escorting Nixie out of the premises

-So anyway Nix has to get a job

-Ugh entry level Jobs are SO beneath him.

-Pouts uwu

-Gets a job as a barista to at least have fun with someone cool

-Ronin notices that sales have gone up in the coffee shop since Acronix has started hanging around there, because the girls think he’s pretty and he posts a lot on social media.

-Ronin wants this, but doesn’t want to have to actually pay Acronix for being a faceman.

-Hires him “as a barista”. Basically he hires Acronix to sit at the counter and look pretty, while giving the joint free advertising.

-Acronix totally doesn’t notice this and is fine with being completely exploited and underpaid.)

-Acronix X Coffee Bot! (In this she’s named Shannon)

-Shannon is like… chill and rude, but never offensive

-Cheats in chess

-Smug about it too like deamn she mean

-Epic moves (Both spinny sign and juggling. And makes epic coffee)

-Unflinching at a fire

-Complete apathy

-Throws "Floyds"  teapot plan away immediately cause she doesn’t get paid enough for this sh*t

-Says she doesn’t drink coffee but than is seen drinking coffee that lier

-Bad habit of Ignoring stufft. Ignores the upgrade, ignores her lie detector, ignores the fact the -machine is literally ice frozen

-She wears a miniskirt and a crop top/bra thingy to WORK. On the clock! savage

-Nixie is confirmed to get crushes easily and like powerful/ mean woman (Machia)

-Also he has no shame in liking nonhumans

-Love technology so would totally vibe with her

-Robotsexual for sure

-Powercouple

-Since she is still A.I, so Nix’s outgoing and I don’t care i'm great loud personality would really surprise her and she’d be inspired/impressed by his lack of chill and lack of care

-She has a bit of sass and goth hot topic to her but also still has that robot innocence that would blend nicely with Acronix since he is also Abrasive and rude on the outside, but is a tad of a softy coward (He hugs his bro and cowers behind him and gets adorably defensive when he snarks at him)

-He’d teach her so much about being more alive… maybe a bad influence but she’d dig it

-He calls her Shay almost constantly

-He hates being called Nix

-Like he is a prideful warrior who expects people to use his full name in respect

-But Shannon is too cool for that

-Calls him Nix sometimes anyway

-Respects her boldness

-The audacity to do so without permission!

-Shannon owns a motorcycle because come on

-Ridin home on a sick bike together

-Stealin stuff when people aren’t looking

-Banned from Ronin thrift shop for sure (they're lucky they weren't fired after that night. But he literally can't fire shannon)

-Chill on friday nights at Laughys karaoke.

-Not singing, just laughing at how stupid other people look singing drunk kareoke

-So a jock dork egotist and a apathetic punk bot walk into a bar

-Dareth honestly doesn’t know this guy was the one sending snakes after his trophies so he just treats him like a normal costumer

-Neither of them care about Dareth’s attempts at small talk.

-Too busy loving themselves like idiots

-She kicks his ass in strategy video games and he destroys her in battle royal stuff

-Both are equally bored by like Animal crossing and other fake life games YAWN so much work

-Shannon enjoys the thrill of racing games

-Nixie plays em but it’s not his best game

-Both GEAMMERS (but in a frighteningly cool way. They somehow both avoid nerd status… nixie still a dork tho. Jock dork)

-She makes coffee art of her hubbies face.

-He gives her so much social media attention

-Acronix gives her coffee shop media rep and he loves the petty feeling of beating Wu at something

-She doesn’t quite get his excitement in it (cause she’s on neutral terms with Wu) but loves the media attention

-She doesn’t get his phrases and he finds that both aggravating and endearing

-“Um I’m Aconic”

-Shannon: “So you’ve been lying about your name this whole time?

-Acronix: “...?”

-“That's honestly sick”

-Acronix “… “

-One day they joy ride on a motorcycle

-End up loitering around borg tower

-Borg officially meets Shannon and is interested in her origin

-Her design is not like he has seen but it also seems familiar

-She says she doesn't remember much other than working for ronin

-"Ronin" borg mutters spitefully

-He has a history of y'know.. Messing with his tech (dismantling pixal and selling zane hmmm)

-Does a diagnostic code scan

-Acronix worried bout his bae and hyped he was actually invited in for once.

-Progress on that "friendship"

-He discovers her model and general code is similar if not almost exactly the same as pixal’s code

-Ronin scrapped together with some mechanical help from his friends the walkers to make a functioning robot manager with borg tech he scrounged up and a stolen copy of pixal’s blueprints ( maybe he took pictures of them when he sold her to chen) and specs so he wouldn't have to pay for multiple employees. Just having the one really efficient one would save him thousands

-So shannon is pixals sister

-And her parents are The walkers, Ronin, and borg

-The family tree only grows people

-So Acronix is apart of the ninja family now if he marries Shannon

-Here's a chart if you're as confused as I am here:

-Anyway Shay doesn't really care much

- Her expression doesn't change

-She had never really gone out of her way to worry where she was from so it wasn't a huge revelation

-It was to nixie tho

-As the extravert he was (and has extensive experience of being a sibling) he had to make sure she got to know her new family NOW

-Like in the middle of the night now

-He never waits for things to happen

-Pix is first and she is about to power down for the night when...

-DOOR SLAMS OPEN

-"Hi SIS!!" Acronix just screams

-"hey. I'm like your sister now." Obvi shannon is more lowkey about it

-Shannon and pixal mildly get along

-Questions her taste in men alot

-Acronix chills in the back already bored and ready to move on.

-Although he's annoyed by them, the ninja were next up

-Zane and Jay are both family now

-Shannon starting to think he's using all this to fill the void of his brother being gone.

-Cause she has no interest for or against meeting these people but Nix sees it as urgent

-But he seems happier than usual so she'll let him throw her name around for a while. She did mooch off his social media so it was only fair

-Anyway eventually Acronix does find his brother, and tries to explain this whole mess to his less-than-thrilled twin

-God once Krux gets back tho

-“Hey bro! I married a robot she’s amazing!”

-He’s just taking selfies with her in hot topic outfits both of them

-“God no my brothers Robotsexual. My worst nightmares have been realized”

-Krux can only stare in horror at the people his brother now considers “family”

-Wu’s students?!, Robots!?, what EVEN IS AI?!?!?

-He eventually gets over it

-eventually maybe

-At least he can admire her attitude

-Will still mess with his bro tho.

-This is the worst timeline imaginable.

-But I can't apologize for art

[blackswaneuroparedux]

Anonymous asked: As a staunch royalist I would be interested to hear your views about Prince Harry and Meghan Markle deciding to quit the British royal family. Did they do the right thing or are they just being selfish and ‘woke’? Does this ‘Megxit’ the British royal family is in crisis and its future looks bleak by this act of betrayal to the Queen?

Short answer:

I have been avoiding answering this question precisely because I became tired of hearing about it around the family dinner table or with friends when I visited England recently or now with French friends here in Paris who can’t fathom what is going on. But too many have asked about this in my blog inbox.

I don’t mean to sound so dismissive but to me it’s just a passing storm in a tea cup rather than some cataclysmic crisis of the British monarchy. Everyone should stop take a deep breath.

After the joint press statement by Prince Harry and the Duchess of Sussex statement came out on 8 January 2020 it set in motion the usual hilarious pastiche of Cold War Kremlinology by the British press.  So at any one time you had sensationalist and sanctimonious headlines such as the fury of the palace press knew no bounds. How dare they? The Queen humiliated. The palace insulted. And so on and so on.

Every newspaper editor knows there is a yawning gulf between the “public interest” and what interests the public. By any standards, Harry and Meghan have become huge celebrities. They were idolised, their charities blessed, their presence craved. Unfortunately such is human nature, the public invest something of themselves in their heroes. They see in their idols a reflection of their own fantasies and delights, hopes and fears. When they witness celebrities traumatised it can be unsettling, as the death of Princess Diana vividly showed. People cried in the street.

As Harry knew from his mother’s tragic experience, all this is par for the royal course. The British newspapers - or rather those peddling in royal tittle tattle such as the Sun, Mirror, and the Daily Mail - have a habit of erecting pedestals one minute and then the next minute they enjoy destroying the icon in the name of the public interest. Andrew’s former wife, Sarah Ferguson, was appallingly treated. So at times were Princess Anne, and Prince Edward’s wife, Sophie. Press attention should be water off the royal duck’s back. Prince Philip’s advice was reportedly: “Don’t read the bloody papers.”

While Harry was brought up surrounded by the furies of the celebrity media, Meghan’s career was the opposite. In her profession as a known actor (albeit a middling TV actor at that), image is an artifice, daily crafted and laundered by publicists.

This does not work with British royalty, which comes with its own carefully minted image attached. Its rituals are those of mind-numbing deference. It has no accountability. The only mirror it has is the press. The tabloids are the price that must be paid for adulation. They honour no discretion and have no sense of fairness. The press is a memento mori, whispering into the victor’s ear that he – or she – is only mortal. And gosh do they take that role on with sanctimonious glee. 

To be daily compared to the Duchess of Cambridge, from an utterly different social background, must have been intolerable for Meghan: the dress comparisons, the stuffiness of the court, its hyper-caution and obsession with precedence and procedure, added to the impossibility of contact with ordinary people. As a self-made millionaire already perhaps she wanted to be more than a mere civil servant in a tiara. Perhaps it proved too much but who really knows? But then I don’t know what else she expected when she decided to marry into the British royal family.

Similarly one can only speculate how much it was really Prince Harry who wanted to drop out riding on the royal carousel as he has been since birth. Regardless of who he married perhaps this was always the plan. His loathing of the British press and paparazzi is well known - he still blames them for his mother’s tragic death in Paris. It’s well known the paparazzi have tried to catch him out in manufactured scandals as he grew up. He has refreshingly come clean and has talked about how he still goes to therapy over his mother’s death. It’s no wonder he would ever subject a future wife and especially a child to the level of press intrusion that he had endured.

Prince Harry is nobody’s fool. I won’t say a bad word about him because - unlike previous and present royals with the exception of his grandfather, Prince Philip, who did active naval service during the Second World War and his uncle Prince Andrew, who as a naval officer flew Sea King helicopters during the Falklands War - he didn’t play the ceremonial toy soldier. After Eton he worked his arse off to get through Sandhurst and got commissioned with the Blues and Royals regiment. Upon the outbreak of war in Iraq, he was alleged to have said around 2006, “There's no way I'm going to put myself through Sandhurst and then sit on my arse back home while my boys are out fighting for their country.”

As it was the military chiefs got cold feet and pulled him out. But he did see active service with the British forces in Afghanistan with two tours. By all accounts he acquitted himself very well as a Forward Air Controller in Helmand Province and later as a co-pilot and gunner on Apache helicopters. He was widely respected and accepted by rank and file because he was down to earth and never asked for special treatment.  He wasn’t a typical ‘Rupert’ - a squaddie’s nickname given to British army officers who typically came from privileged aristocratic backgrounds but were also ‘nice but dim witted’.

Overall I sympathise that the Sussexes’ predicament was clearly desperate, and it is perhaps to their credit that they have brought it to a head early and not let it drag on. I feel they are sincere in their reasons to ’step back’ from the royal family and frenzied media circus around it. The fact they want to pay their own way and pay back any outstanding sums back to the royal household is perhaps a sign of that sincerity.

Instead some sections of the British press rolled out the tired old trope of the parallels between the Duke of Sussex and his great-great uncle, the Duke of Windsor, are overwhelming. Once again, a dashing, sporting, ex-military prince leaves royal life for the love of an American divorcée. This is exactly the opposite of what Edward and Mrs Wallace Simpson did when they bit the hand that fed them. They took money to support their lavish lifestyle in exile from the Queen and all the while took every opportunity to snark the fledgling young Queen from their own alternative royal court in Paris. Harry no doubt loves his grandmother and his family and would try not sully the Windsor name.

Where I would be critical a little is in their handling of it which appears naive at best and inept at worst. I suspect - since verified - that having a transatlantic split of publicists, and in addition didn’t understand the full import of how this would play out, would inevitably drop the ball. But I would extend a finger of blame to the palace courtiers who were involved in their own games of intrigue with a whispering campaign to selected journalists of the press. Indeed multiple newspapers, including the Daily Telegraph in the UK, reported that the queen was “disappointed” with the surprise announcement, and had asked the Sussexes to hold off on issuing a public statement. When The gossip mongering Sun newspaper published a front-page story that the couple was contemplating a move to Canada, the Sussexes pushed the button on their statement.

I do think the Sussexes  and their advisors were fooling themselves into thinking that they could have their cake and eat it - in other words keep the royal titles but cut back on the public and ceremonial duties. The blunt truth is if you want to stay on the books, you do so by the leave of the firm and its boss i.e. The Queen. The contract is for life. If not, you resign. There is no half in and half out. This seems to have been the gist of the family only summit at Sandringham in January 2020, with media attention worthy of the Treaty of Versailles.

I am frankly surprised how worked up people are about this. Cut out the white noise and the picture is more prosaic.

The first point is that when all is said and done, none of this drama really matters. Politically, constitutionally, it is an irrelevance. Harry, at number six, is not seriously in line to the throne. The British monarchy has long shown itself immune to crisis; indeed I wonder sometimes if it welcomes crises as implying continued importance. The divorce and death of Princess Diana were awfully tragic, as was the very public shaming of Prince Andrew and his questionable friendship with billionaire paedophile Jeffrey Epstein. But how Harry leads his life is between himself, his wife and his father, Prince Charles. That is the point of heredity. It is immune to character, as it is to merit.

The second point is we should remember that other European royal families, of the same constitutional status as Britain, have been down sizing for many years now. These royal families balanced privacy and discretion whilst holding down ordinary professions. The King of the Netherlands, Willem-Alexander, is still an airline pilot. He occasionally flies KLM jets, safe in the knowledge that few people recognise him. In 2001 Prince Haakon, heir to the Norwegian throne, married a single mother with a drug-fuelled past. Despite some controversy, he survived incognito. 

The King of Sweden, Carl XVI Gustaf, has reigned for 46 inconspicuous years as a nine-to-five job, his family merged into the Swedish bourgeoisie. The Crown Princess, Victoria, works intermittently for the UN. The King of Spain, Felipe VI, may have taken after his philandering father, Juan Carlos, but he became king without fuss on his father’s retirement in 2014. None of these “houses” has an extended state-subsidised royal family. None has grown unstable as a result.

There is no doubt that the exploitation of the British royal family celebrity by palace courtiers as PR handlers has worked. The royal family recognises that truth for itself when HRH King George VI famously quipped, “We are not a family, we are a firm”. The Queen is regularly cited as central to “UK plc” and to tourism. The British people remain overwhelmingly in favour of retaining monarchy as the focus of their patriotism, even during the wobble over Diana’s death. Republicanism is dead. The last ostentatious republican, the Fife MP Willie Hamilton, left parliament in 1987. If Scotland ever went independent it would almost certainly retain the Queen as head of state.

As for how royalty behaves, a constitutional monarchy should be beyond all controversy. As the great political and constitutional commentator (and founder of the Economist magazine) Walter Bagehot put it, “the monarch should be a dignified rather than efficient element of the constitution”. In other words, the monarchy as personified in its reigning king or queen can represent the whole nation in an emotionally satisfying way - everything else is but pure embellishment.

The Queen must be a glorious anthropomorphism of the nation as a whole. If she has opinions, she keeps them to herself - much to her credit. The contrast is clear with countries where state headship is combined with an elected executive presidency. The state risks being tainted by partisanship: witness the embarrassment many Americans feel at having their national loyalty identified with any president based on divided partisan feelings e.g. from FDR to Obama and Nixon to Trump.

A rare occasion when the monarch might overstep the mark was conjectured by Mike Bartlett in his ingenious play, King Charles III, in 2014. It was based on the present Prince of Wales as king, refusing formally to sign a bill censoring the press (good on him). In the resulting crisis, William and Kate engineer Charles’s abdication, while the tearaway Harry takes up with a republican girlfriend. It was not wholly implausible. When Belgium faced a similar crisis over King Baudouin’s refusal to sign an abortion bill in 1990, he was allowed to abdicate for a day.

How the monarchy conducts itself is not wholly irrelevant. It is part of the collective context in which the nation’s politics are enacted. It represents tradition and upholds precedent. It sets boundaries and dictates a courtesy in the conduct of public affairs - however often that courtesy is infringed. What outsiders forget (especially our American friends) is that the British political system is gloriously resilient, as the past three years of Brexit hell have shown. It can tolerate the odd eccentricity, such as the blatant purchase of parliamentary seats in the House of Lords. But the question is how far such eccentricity can extend. 

The present heir to the throne, Prince Charles, is deft at stepping mildly out of line. His views on architecture, health and the environment are not overtly partisan. But it does not matter as he is no more “powerful” than a newspaper or television commentator. His influence is that of celebrity. I would rather have the heir to throne engage intelligently in public debate than arrogantly indulge in the sordid sexual antics of his younger brother, Andrew.

For all his perceived faults, Prince Charles knows his limits. To expect such controlled nuances in the constitutional mystique of royalty to apply to an ever larger family has always been an accident waiting to happen. More prescient is the fact that the current system will impose the same disciplines and direct the same public exposure on an ever widening array of royal offspring as the years go by. I feel genuine sympathy for the royal children. Most British minors have their faces blanked out on camera, but not royal ones. They are sentenced to be recognised for life.

As a nation then we are extremely fortunate that Prince Harry is no more militant than in defence of the planet, wild animals and injured military veterans - all worthy causes if we are honest to admit it. Full disclosure: as an ex-veteran, I do give charitable donations to Invictus Games Foundation, the multi-sports event put on for wounded, injured or sick armed services personnel and their associated veterans. Prince Harry was instrumental in founding the Invictus Games in 2014 on his own initiative so that we never forget the courage and sacrifice of our military veterans.

What is already clear is that the Sussexes intend forthwith to redraw the lines of engagement with the press. They are opting out of the Royal Rota, the arrangement whereby, for decades, the royals have given access to a pool reporter from the national papers; instead, they will invite coverage from personally selected media outlets and will use their own social-media accounts, especially Instagram, to communicate directly with the public. Having railed against the media’s commodification of his wife, Prince Harry now seems prepared to take its commodification into his own hands: it was reported in January 2020 that he and the Duchess have lately submitted a trademark application for hundreds of items, from clothing to printed items, that may be issued with the couple’s personal brand, Sussex Royal.

This step is unfortunate and unedifying. To my mind, Sussex is a title, not a brand name. It is no more Harry and Meghan’s to exploit than Buckingham Palace is the Queen’s to sell off. Even if they distance themselves from the monarchy by being financially independent (as well as disowning their titles) by pursuing other commercial opportunities it only takes one scandal - e.g. a goods with their brand made from sweat shop labour or some other unforeseen PR disaster - to reflect badly on the Queen and the British monarchy solely because of Harry’s proximity to the throne. Harry may not be a Prince but he is a Windsor.

We are back to Bagehot again. For it was he who argued that the constitution was divided into two branches. The monarchy represents the “dignified” branch. Its job is to symbolise the state through pomp and ceremony. The government -Parliament, the cabinet and the civil service - represents the “efficient” branch. Its job is to run the country by passing laws and providing public services. The dignified branch governs through poetry, and the efficient branch through prose. The monarchy certainly doesn’t govern through commercial exploitation of its brand as an end in itself.

Today, the dignified branch is trying to adapt to an age of populism and until recently it’s been doing a much better job than the efficient branch. But the monarchy must never lower itself to the lowest common denominator to satisfy the base instincts of populism. As Bagehot aptly said, “An element of exaggeration clings to the popular judgment: great vices are made greater, great virtues greater also; interesting incidents are made more interesting, softer legends more soft.”

A family spat of no public importance is obsessing the nation and the world. Everyone should sit down and have a nice relaxing cup of tea.