#but he's wrong…

[14floods]

dude what’s ur artfight give it to me rn /lh. also are you a mountain goats fan and pls pls pls tell me about ur ocs and mountain goats songs that fit them pls and thank you

hi!! my artfight is pyjamac same as on here i haven't got everything set up for this year yet though… i am a mountain goats fan though not as much as my brother haha. that drawing is of my oc sal and my boyfriend @/invasato's oc ellie! they're these two guys who work for a us independent agency that's in charge of regulating supernatural creatures and happenings (like imagine if the usps or amtrak was the x-files right it's that). they travel the country and kill monsters, or just give them a stern talking to. they were assigned to each other as partners after sal was injured and had to take several months off and his former partner was reassigned and ellie's partner was killed. sal's this recovering charlatan type like he's really only concerned with making it from one moment to the next which gets him in a lot of trouble a lot of the time bc mostly he's just out here entertaining himself. he has this idea of himself as really high class really sophisticated but in a really outdated way he got from tv as a kid and mostly an act to distance himself from his upbringing in very rural farmland ny lol. ellie is my boyfriend's oc and xe'd do a better job telling you about her but to me she's a really genuine really sweet extremely pathetic person. he has a curse also which contributes to the boths of them's perpetually on the run from something nature…… they're very good friends they're bffs and they also have a weird gay thing going on being that ellie is hopelessly desperately in love w sal and sal likes him too and is really possessive of ellie in a non heterosexual way but ultimately too emotionally neutered to really know what that feeling is and too fixated on "not being tied down" to do anything about it if he did (like he has an idea but mostly it's like yeah i think she's hot but unfortunately then it would be weird between us so i can't oh well no other options). their story exists as a tv show in our heads and we have episodes so something does happen between them it just does take a whole season and then like well into season 2 to talk abt it lol. anyway there will be no divorce… i think black pear tree is really sal i think he has a lot of that feeling like well it's only a matter of time. also genesis 30:3… :•( which i know is like actually very explicitly abt a specific story but whatever like ellie would truly do anything for sal even though he's often kind of bad to him/takes advantage of this.

[andisupreme]

At the company retreat, one extremely drunk girl asked what my pronouns were. (Eventually, it took her a while to word the question.) After the whole conversation was done, she goes- "YEAHHH GURL, Get on with--with THY bad self! See what I did?? They/them/thy."

I was almost holding back tears from trying not to laugh as I told her yes that's great you nailed it honey. Thank you very much I am feeling the love.

Anyway I've been assigned Thee/Thine at Supportive Drunk Girl

[wolfythewitch]

jesus in the hades art style

[cafeyote]

me and gang at the haunted house

[stealingpotatoes]

my brother and I have very different opinions on my cat’s weight

[ineveryfandom]

bruce and dick, father and son? classic. batman and robin, partners in justice? exciting. bruce and dick, brothers with a huge age gap? more likely than you think.

-

Jason: *loses in a game against bruce*

Bruce, patting his back: it’s alright son, let’s play again

Dick: *loses in a game against bruce*

Bruce: that’s for calling me old

Dick, screaming at Bruce: HOW COULD YOU?!

Duke, new to the fam, very concerned: what’s happening?

Tim: you don’t wanna know

Duke, nervous: …is it something really bad?

Tim, gravely: yes

Dick, shaking Bruce: HOW COULD YOU?! HOW COULD YOU DRINK MY SMOOTHIE?!

Duke:

Alfred: *pointedly looking at the broken window*

Bruce: dick did it

Dick, in space, on call with Alfred: i wasn’t even anywhere NEAR there

Cass: fuck!

Bruce: language

Steph: let my girl say fuck

Bruce: language.

TV playing in the background: ..nd SCORE! unfortunately, the Gotham Guardsmen have lost to Metropolis Metros once m—

Dick, from the couch: motherfUCKER

Bruce, angrily: metropolis BASTARDS

Cass:

Cass: not fair >:[

In a restaurant

Barbara: dick can you pass me the salt

Dick, with headphones on, not hearing her:

Barbara: dick? dick. dick!

Bruce: ill get it

Bruce: *reaches for the salt near dick’s plate*

Dick: *suddenly has his arms around his food, his fork clattering to the ground, their drinks spilling everywhere*

Bruce:

Dick:

Barbara:

Dick: ...in my defense these are some real good nachos

Dick: *waltzes inside bruce’s room, not saying anything*

Bruce: ...?

Dick: *looks at the pictures on the walls*

Bruce: can i help you??

Dick: *checks himself out in the mirror*

Bruce: please do that in your own room

Dick: *turns on the lights and rummages in the drawers*

Bruce: i already ate all the snacks there

Dick: *leaves* *doesn’t close the door*

Bruce:

Damian, also in the room:

Damian, in realization: jason got it from him

[unsung-idiot]

don't show him modern technology; it won't end well

bonus under the cut:

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Expertise can't help you here.

[consultingfujoshi]

the cunt off to end all cunt offs are you actually kidding me people fucking died this shit was felt thousands of miles away through tremors in the earth the sheer cosmic power of their facecards rippled through the ether and kier goddamn eagans ghost on the big waffle in the sky shivered and turned around like Something Just Happened

[brainrotcharacters]

When irl pisses me off, I rewatch the Honda Odyssey scene to relax

[flufflecat]

thinking about ford "human blood tastes better" pines

ford "i have been desiring blood more than usual" pines

stanford "was bitten by a fruit bat but still wrote the sentence 'i have been desiring blood more than usual'" pines

[gaywineauntsstuff]

Tim: I can’t tell dick?? I don’t want him to think I’m crazy or not trustworthy bc I’m doing something reckless??!

Jason who saw Dick make out with a mark to steal something from his pocket when Dick was 17:…

Bruce who saw Dick jump off a moving plane and hum the song “I need a hero” instead of calling for Superman:

Wally who say Dick go fuck it and infiltrate a sex trafficking ring as a stripper bc someone said he was too pretty to work for the mob:

Roy who has smacked dick out of delusions 15 times too many:

Clark who saw dick stay in a radioactive city for vibes:

Diana who has heard Donna’s concerned ramblings since she was like 12:

Damian who saw that Dick turned the bat ears into projectiles that can electrocute you:

Steph who saw the same thing:

Tim who refuses to believe Dick Grayson can do anything that isn’t brilliant, premeditated and completely the best option: I CANT HE’ll be so disappointed:(

[yunevan-n]

I would flee the country if I saw Jimmy looking at me like that

[aeturnum-mendacacium]

To be a true batman fan you must simultaneously believe that batman is a middle aged man loser with mental issues, an eldritch monstrosity who is human in all the long suffering torturous wrong ways, and an cunt-serving diva with a face card so lethal it's a partial reason for inter-galaxy peace.

[psyduckbuttercup]

hey so i Fully Believe that telemachus was not afraid of odysseus in Hold Them Down

people may have told him stories of Odysseus, King of Ithaca, Athena's chosen Champion, Hero of Troy

but mama's boy telemachus sat by her feet as she wove tapestry after tapestry; and penelope told her little wolf stories of his father

how they met, how he tripped over himself to woo her, how he cried his eyes out when penelope became pregnant, how telemachus wouldn't sleep in his cot as a baby because he was so used to being in his father's arms because odysseus would not put him down; and yes, how viciously he defended their family when the atrides came to retrieve him for the war

telemachus? the child of the Unhinged Power Couple? who knew very well how horrible those suitors were, how they treated him and spoke of his mother?

took one look at his dad viciously protecting their home, their family, and thought he was the coolest, strongest person ever (after mom ofc)