Tumgik
#but i don't really write often and finish things even less so
burntoutdaydreamer · 11 months
Text
Weird Brain Hacks That Help Me Write
I'm a consistently inconsistent writer/aspiring novelist, member of the burnt-out-gifted-kid-to-adult-ADHD-diagnosis-pipeline, recently unemployed overachiever, and person who's sick of hearing the conventional neurotypical advice to dealing with writer's block (i.e. "write every single day," or "there's no such thing as writer's block- if you're struggling to write, just write" Like F*CK THAT. Thank you, Brenda, why don't you go and tell someone with diabetes to just start producing more insulin?)
I've yet to get to a point in my life where I'm able to consistently write at the pace I want to, but I've come a long way from where I was a few years ago. In the past five years I've written two drafts of a 130,000 word fantasy novel (currently working on the third) and I'm about 50,000 words in on the sequel. I've hit a bit of a snag recently, but now that I've suddenly got a lot of time on my hands, I'm hoping to revamp things and return to the basics that have gotten me to this point and I thought I might share.
1) My first draft stays between me and God
I find that I and a lot of other writers unfortunately have gotten it into our heads that first drafts are supposed to resemble the finished product and that revisions are only for fixing minor mistakes. Therefore, if our first draft sucks that must mean we suck as writers and having to rewrite things from scratch means that means our first draft is a failure.
I'm here to say that is one of the most detrimental mentalities you can have as a writer.
Ever try drawing a circle? You know how when you try to free-hand draw a perfect circle in one go, it never turns out right? Whereas if you scribble, say, ten circles on top of one another really quickly and then erase the messy lines until it looks like you drew a circle with a singular line, it ends up looking pretty decent?
Yeah. That's what the drafting process is.
Your first draft is supposed to suck. I don't care who you are, but you're never going to write a perfect first draft, especially if you're inexperienced. The purpose of the first draft is to lay down a semi-workable foundation. A really loose, messy sketch if you will. Get it all down on paper, even if it turns out to be the most cliche, cringe-inducing writing you've ever done. You can work out those kinks in the later drafts. The hardest part of the first draft is the most crucial part: getting started. Don't stress yourself out and make it even harder than it already is.
If that means making a promise to yourself that no one other than you will ever read your first draft unless it's over your cold, dead body, so be it.
2) Tell perfectionism to screw off by writing with a pen
I used to exclusively write with pencil until I realized I was spending more time erasing instead of writing.
Writing with a pen keeps me from editing while I right. Like, sometimes I'll have to cross something out or make notes in the margins, but unlike erasing and rewriting, this leaves the page looking like a disaster zone and that's a good thing.
If my writing looks like a complete mess on paper, that helps me move past the perfectionist paralysis and just focus on getting words down on the page. Somehow seeing a page full of chicken scratch makes me less worried about making my writing all perfect and pretty- and that helps me get on with my main goal of fleshing out ideas and getting words on a page.
3) It's okay to leave things blank when you can't think of the right word
My writing, especially my first draft, is often filled with ___ and .... and (insert name here) and red text that reads like stage directions because I can't think of what is supposed to go there or the correct way to write it.
I found it helps to treat my writing like I do multiple choice tests. Can't think of the right answer? Just skip it. Circle it, come back to it later, but don't let one tricky question stall you to the point where you run out of brain power or run out of time to answer the other questions.
If I'm on a role, I'm not gonna waste it by trying to remember that exact word that I need or figure out the right transition into the next scene or paragraph. I'm just going to leave it blank, mark to myself that I'll need to fix the problem later, and move on.
Trust me. This helps me sooooo much with staying on a roll.
4) Write Out of Order
This may not be for everyone, but it works wonders for me.
Sure, the story your writing may need to progress chronologically, but does that mean you need to write it chronologically? No. It just needs to be written.
I generally don't do this as much for editing, but for writing, so long as you're making progress, it doesn't matter if it's in the right order. Can't think of how to structure Chapter 2, but you have a pretty good idea of how your story's going to end? Write the ending then. You'll have to go back and write Chapter 2 eventually, but if you're feeling more motivated to write a completely different part of the book, who's to say you can't do that?
When I'm working on a project, I start off with a single document that I title "Scrap for (Project Title)" and then just write whatever comes to mind, in whatever order. Once I've gotten enough to work with, then I start outlining my plot and predicting how many chapters I'm going to need. Then, I create separate google docs for each individual chapter and work on them in whatever order I feel like, often leaving several partially complete as I jump from one to the other. Then, as each one gets finished, I copy and paste the chapter into the full manuscript document. This means that the official "draft" could have Chapters 1 and 9, but completely be missing Chapters 2-8, and that's fine. It's not like anyone will ever know once I finish it.
Sorry for the absurdly long post. Hopes this helps someone. Maybe I'll share more tricks in the future.
3K notes · View notes
3hks · 7 months
Text
How to Get Better at Writing Without Actually Writing
Are you looking to improve your writing without needing to write? I'll admit, I am definitely that kind of person--I have the hardest time even finding something interesting to write--despite that, I have noticed that my writing has vastly improved over the past year or two when it was hardly a hobby, and here's how I did it!
ANALYZE DIFFERENT WORKS
Yes yes, everyone tells you to READ, READ, and READ, even I will agree. However, unlike what some people tell you, you don't actually have to read all those classics like Heart of Darkness or The Hobbit. Of course, those books are very beneficial, but if you find no interest in those types of books (like me), then don't read them!
If you prefer reading casual stories posted by online authors, whether it be a fanfiction or their own, original story, it still qualifies as reading! As long as you are able to find a work that you particularly enjoy, that's all you need!
When reading, the key to improving at writing is to always study the story. Take a moment to look at certain words or phrases that stick out to you. How does the author use them? What do they mean? Keep track of the characters' development and how it affects them. Additionally, note things like powerful scenes, dialogue, and more to have an idea of how you can create something just as impactful. For example, if a text made you cry, think about how and why you reacted like that. This can actually help you re-create events that hold the same effectiveness, if not more!
To add on, if you really dislike reading just that much, then you can always analyze things like shows, movies, etc. However, this will prove to be less efficient because you often don't get access to the text behind the shows. Still, it's a good way to study the plot, characters, character developments, dialogue, and relationships!
2. PROOFREADING
No, I'm not saying that you should be an editor; this actually ties back to my first tip. Remember how I said that if you don't want to read classics, then don't? Well, this is because forcing yourself to read them is completely unnecessary (unless you like them or want to write like the author, of course). As a matter of fact, reading poorly written stories can be very helpful for improvement!
When we read books or novels that have obvious grammar errors, repetitive words, and choppy sentences, we will realize these mistakes and point them out to ourselves. Being able to scout out faults means that we are able to learn from them and grow! Noticing these things will also help prevent you from making the same or similar mistakes!
3. STUDY TIPS ONLINE
I used to go search up websites on Google whenever I wanted help with a certain topic. Of course, not all of the sites are reliable and/or helpful, but some point out good ideas that a couple of us just need! This can be especially useful regarding the things that we are unfamiliar with when writing. They can offer a base foundation and tips on how to start and finish!
They can also serve as a great inspiration for fresh ideas and new perspectives!
Yes, these three tips are pretty simple; however, I have found that they work very well for me! People vary from person-to-person, so it can't be guaranteed the same effect, but this is the best I got! HAPPY VALENTINES DAY! <3
Happy writing~
3hks :)
1K notes · View notes
bumblequinn · 11 months
Text
Tumblr media
hi @sourpatchsquids! thank you for your question.
as an artist with ADHD, i know this struggle very well. unfortunately offering advice on this kind of thing can be tricky, because what works for me may not work for you (and vice versa!). nonetheless, i can try; take whatever works for you, forget the rest, or reshape any part of it as you see fit. :)
but before i offer any actual tools, i have one caveat. i want you to take a moment to reflect and consider if you should be:
changing expectations
the timing of this question seems fated, because just the other day i had a therapy session wherein i expressed my grief and frustration over struggling to work lately due to my seasonal depression. it's not fair that i'm struggling just because it got a little darker outside! i just want the spark i had in the summer! i was so much more consistent!
my therapist's response: nothing about human beings is consistent. we get sick, we get tired, we get hungry and thirsty (and thirsty) and sad and lonely and restless and stressed and overwhelmed. this all gets amplified for folks who are atypical in some way or another.
when my therapist compared our seasonal cycles to those of plants and other animals, who wilt and slow down and hibernate, i protested aloud that i wanted to be a perennial instead. at this she said: even perennials change with the seasons. rose bushes have to be pruned, sometimes down to half their height! it was a dose of perspective i didn't particularly want, but really needed.
so when you're struggling to work through executive dysfunction, burnout, or brain fog, it can help to first check in with yourself about a few things. what do you have the capacity for right now? do you need any accommodation? and if so, what changes you might make to accommodate yourself?
with practice and self reflection, i've learned a handful of specific routines that help me when i'm struggling with creative work, which i'll detail next. note that while your question is specifically about music and i am specifically a musician, i believe that all of these suggestions can apply to most any form of digital creative work.
with that in mind:
#1: work slower
when i'm at the top of my game, i can get a LOT done in a day. but when i'm depressed, fatigued, or distracted, i just can't go full steam. sometimes i'll try to convince myself that i can if i just push harder, but what actually ends up happening is that i'm just fiddling with settings and going in circles rather than moving forward.
instead of that, when i want to work a lot but can't, i try to work slow. how slow? however slow i need to. take four hours to figure out the melody for a single verse. take all day to figure out that drum groove. yeah, i take a lot of breaks in between. who says i have to be my Absolute Most Productive Every Day Or Else? that's the puritan work ethic talking. kill it. be kind to yourself.
i'm reminded of advice i once read about some super successful and prolific author (gaiman? king? pratchett?) who said they wrote only four hundred words every weekday. that's already less than the word count of this post, and i'm only—[travels into the future to check my final word count]... 22.8% of the way through writing it!
now, i don't think i could function that way, because ADHD means some days i'm hyperfocused like crazy, and other days i just have no steam at all (more on that in #4-6). but it seems to me that if even someone highly respected in their profession can achieve what they have with only a little bit of work on a regular basis, maybe i don't have to punish myself for not pumping out a finished work every single week.
doing less work per day means you're much less likely to burn out, which does a lot for working more consistently. if that consistency still doesn't look like a five-day work week, that's okay! as long as it helps you work even a little more often when you want to, it's something worth doing.
however, if you're still feeling truly stuck, all hope isn't lost. you can still try:
#2: switch projects
sometimes the reason i'm moving slow is because of a bad brain day, but sometimes the reason is that i just cannot muster the motivation to do the specific task i'm trying to do right now. ADHD is fueled by novelty and interest, and if i'm not interested in what i'm doing, or it's feeling stale, that's a sign that i need to switch gears.
this is why first it's helpful for me to have more than one project going at a time. this might mean completely unrelated works, or it might just mean related tracks as with the music for a game like SLARPG or susan taxpayer.
the idea here is not to start a dozen different projects and bounce around them like i'm playing whac-a-mole—though i have done that. (i don't recommend it.) the idea here is to have a manageable number of different projects i can be working on so that if i get bored or stuck on something, i have fallback options.
what that number of projects is depends entirely on the week. maybe right now it's two, maybe another time it's three. i would probably be getting carried away if i tried more than that, but that's just my own limit. maybe yours is different. that's something for you to think about.
but it doesn't have to stop there.
#3: switch focus
maybe there is this one project that i just HAVE to work on, but the task i'm trying to do at this stage just isn't coming to me. okay, well, why don't i try working on a different task?
let's say i can't figure out what i want to do with the melody in one part of the song:
what if i try jumping ahead to a different part of the melody? ...no, i'm stumped on melodies today. okay, how about working on the drums instead? ...hmm no, i think i'm just completely tapped out on writing parts right now. alright, what if i organized my tracks, making sure they're all grouped and named in a way that i can work with easily? what if i did a rough volume balance for the mix?
and so on. if that's not enough to shake the off stuckness, i might consider: what can i do to make this project more interesting to me?
what happens if i try using an instrument or effect that i almost never reach for? what if i try sampling something obscure? what if i bang out the drums using my midi keyboard instead of drawing it in on the piano roll?
any approach that breaks me out of my usual habits is bound to get that feeling of novelty and fun back when i need it.
or maybe i can't do any of that right now, and so i take the time to answer a question from a fellow musician instead. i consider that part of my work, too, in a broader sense. check in with yourself and figure out what you can do right now. the rest will still be there later.
but okay, let's say you try switching gears, and switching again, and again, and nothing is moving. you try new approaches, but that wall of awful is insurmountable in this moment. it happens! the next thing you might try is:
#4: learn something new
when you aren't able to make progress on your projects, you can still make progress on your knowledge and craft. i often find this stokes a flame of inspiration in me where there wasn't one before. and even when it doesn't, it still gets my brain out of that feeling of stuckness and dread and into one of thought and action. learning also benefits in the long term because it adds to the well of knowledge from which you draw for all your future works.
for all the awfulness that exists on the internet, it remains an absolute treasure trove of teaching. there's an endless ocean of videos, blog posts, and articles from which you might learn something about your craft. (and if you sail the seven seas, plenty of book PDFs as well. 🦜🏴‍☠️)
it's true that the quality and depth of information out there can vary wildly, but in my experience most resources get at least some things right. and the more you research, practice, and figure out what works for you, the better you will learn to differentiate between the advice worth keeping, and the advice to forget. (that goes for all of what i'm saying here, too!)
that said, since our shared focus is music, a few resources i would highly recommend are:
music theory and composition music matters, 12tone, charles cornell, music with myles, 8-bit music theory, and this introduction by andrew huang
mixing and production dan worrall (especially this series for fabfilter), kush after hours, red means recording, andrew huang, alice yalcin efe, in the mix
general inspiration nahre sol, ben levin, david hilowitz, game score fanfare, posy, jerobeam fenderson, open reel ensemble, and ELECTRONICOS FANTASTICOS!
(if any readers have their own helpful resources for creating music or any other media, feel free to share in the replies & reblogs! 💓)
of course, on an especially bad day, it might be a challenge to seek out information, let alone retain it. that can feel pretty bad, but remember: be kind to yourself. the next thing you might consider trying is:
#5: consume art you love
not just music. books. shows. movies. games. illustration. animation. whatever moves and inspires you.
but do it intentionally. don't just pull up some random thing the algorithm suggested! check in with yourself about what you want (or are able) to engage with right now. choose accordingly. if you get a little way into it and realize it's not scratching that itch, hit the bricks. check in with yourself again. wash, rinse, repeat, until you find whatever it is that speaks to you right now.
and do it actively, if you can. don't just let it go in one eye and out the other! really pay attention to the work. what do you like about it? what are its themes and motifs? what makes it work so well? what are its flaws, and how much do they matter? what might you do differently? you can write notes as you do this if it helps, but even simply noticing and thinking goes a long way.
what you don't want to do is come at this with a lens of shame or envy. you're not here just to say to yourself, "ugh, if only i could do THAT." it's okay if it happens. use that thought as a springboard for curiosity: "well okay, how DID they do that? do i have the resources for it? if so, how could i apply that to my own work? if not, how can i adapt it, or what do i need to learn?" keep your mind open and approach the work with a sense of wonder.
as a creative person, it's very easy to think, "i should be making something right now, not watching a movie!" but that thought forgets something vital: your art is a response in a conversation. of course the "language" you use is your own, and maybe if you're lucky you'll invent a new word. but most of the words you use have been around long before you were born. you're just one voice in a dialogue that spans continents and generations, and that's okay. it's even the whole point.
none of us is an island. we are profoundly social animals. just as we can't live without eating, we can't make without learning. so half of making art is consuming it. consider this part of the process as well.
and finally,
#6: rest, and live your life
let's say you're in really dire straits. you've tried working slower. you tried changing focus, you tried changing projects. you want to take in new information or actively engage with your favorite art, but you're not in the headspace for it. what now?
take a nap. take a walk. take a shower. eat a nice meal, or an okay one. talk to a friend. maybe even do that chore you've been putting off (you know the one).
it's human to always crave making, but you're not a machine—and even if you were, machines need regular maintenance, too! you wouldn't drive a car that's completely out of gas, and you won't do yourself any favors treating your body that way either.
i know that when you take a break it feels as though you're not accomplishing anything, but you are: you're taking care of your animal self. and while you do that, your creative brain doesn't stop working! much like windows, it has countless background processes running at any given moment, with inscrutable names like "cbdhsvc_692da" or "Microsoft Edge Update Service." it's true, i checked.
when you're stuck on a project and you step away to rest, your brain is still chipping away at your ideas unconsciously. i like to tell people, "it's percolating." much like waiting for a pot of water to boil, that idea is still heating up, even when you take a step away. just be sure to check in on it once in a while. the time will pass, and it'll be boiling again before long. :)
before i go, i'll leave you with one last thing to keep in mind as you try all of these strategies:
be kind to yourself.
being human is just about one of the hardest things you can do. let alone being a human trying to survive capitalism while living with disabilities! the last thing you need on top of that is to overwork yourself, talk to yourself negatively, or treat yourself harshly. there are plenty of other people in the world who do that to you—don't be one of them.
i'm not saying that you shouldn't try to challenge yourself, to test your limits and go above and beyond your ambitions, if that's what you want to do. just remember that hard work and self compassion are not mutually exclusive. so be careful not to bully yourself. take pride in the progress you make, even when it seems small. encourage yourself like you would a friend who's going through a hard time. and when you challenge yourself, be your own cheerleader.
i hope you find this advice helpful! remember, this is just what helps me, so don't feel like you have to follow any of it exactly. maybe taking time to learn new information helps break you out of your rut more than working slowly, so you reach for that tool first. maybe having multiple projects going at once is too distracting for you, so you prefer to stick to one at a time. whatever your needs are, feel free to alter and adapt these ideas to fit you.
thank you for reading, and i wish you the best of luck in your creating.
with care, bee 🐦
2K notes · View notes
vikkirosko · 9 months
Note
The last story was amazing, hope you can get this one in before the holdidays, and have a nice vacation. And just a great next few months on top of that! But I was wondering ( sorry this may be long ) if you could do a headcanon of alastor, lucifer, Angel Dust, lucifer, fizz + Ozzie, and Rosie? ( sorry if that's to many characters there all just great characters ) x a reader who has CIP ( the inablility ) to feel pain? Thank you! Also how have you been?
I'm all good. I haven't had much free time lately, so I'm a little behind schedule on writing requests, but I still don't lose hope that I'll be able to finish everything before the end of the year. And how are you doing?
Headcanons CIP
🕷 Angel Dust x Reader 💖
You and Angel have known each other for a long time. You knew that he often got into various scuffles and always reminded him to be careful. One of the times you knew for sure that he was going to get into trouble, you went with him. You were right and helped him cope and not get hurt, but there was something that caused him concern. You were hit by several bullets, but you didn't seem to pay any attention to it at all
Only when you noticed the blood on your clothes did you say with irritation that you had ruined your favorite sweater. Angel jumped up to you, worried about your wounds, but you didn't seem to feel the pain, which you soon informed him about. That's why Angel took you back to the hotel, where he treated your wounds. You told him that you had a CIP. You haven't felt pain since you were born, even when you were human, and even in Hell, the absence of pain has remained with you
Angel was surprised that for so long he didn't know that you don't feel pain at all. You had to pay attention to little things so as not to harm yourself, for example, be careful about hot dishes, because you might not notice how hot the soup could be or how hot the cup of coffee was. Angel listened attentively to you, surprised that he didn't notice it
Angel has become more attentive towards you. He didn't constantly take care of you, but sometimes he reminded you that the food or drink was hot, that you held the knife too close to your fingers, or that you were injured. Angel understood that even if you didn't feel pain, it didn't mean that the wounds didn't hurt you, which is why he tried to take care of you at least a little
📻 Alastor x Reader🎙
Alastor found out that you don't feel pain when he noticed that you returned to the hotel with an injured leg. You weren't even limping. You just went to your room like everything was completely normal. He didn't know any other reason for this. He went to your room with a first-aid kit and you did not hide from him either your own wound or the fact that you really did not feel pain
Alastor stayed in your room while you treated the wound on your leg. You told him that even when you were human, you didn't feel pain. You assumed that at least in Hell this would change, but it turned out not to be so. Because of this, you didn't notice the wounds you could get until you noticed the blood on your clothes
The origin of the scars on your skin was now clear. He understood that you probably got these scars in Hell. On your palms, hands, and obviously not only there. You really weren't very worried about your own health, and the lack of pain only made it harder for you to take care of yourself
Alastor understood that in Hell there was much less harm from this for you. Dying in Hell was much more difficult for a sinner than when you were alive, so Alastor didn't worry too much about you. He knew you'd be fine, but he still left a first-aid kit in your room in case you needed it
💀Rosie x Reader 🌹
You were a frequent guest at Rosie's and helped her with some problems at her store. You often stayed at her house for weeks at a time, but Rosie was only too happy to spend time with you. Sometimes you came in with wounds after fights, but Rosie was sure they weren't that serious, so you didn't pay attention to it. However, when you came in seriously injured but behaved as if everything was fine, she became worried
Rosie insistently asked you to sit down and brought a first aid kit. She was in no hurry to ask questions or jump to conclusions, primarily focusing on your wounds. You didn't make a sound when she was treating your wounds, which gave Rosie certain thoughts
You honestly told her that you didn't feel pain at all. Even before your death, you had CIP and you learned to live with it, but in Hell you became more relaxed and took much less care of your own health, which led to your injury. Rosie listened to you carefully, then gently stroked your hair and asked you to be careful
Rosie didn't want you to try. She knew that you tried to be more attentive to yourself and tried to avoid new wounds. You didn't want to upset Rosie and make her worry, which is why you tried not to put yourself in danger, not even realizing that Rosie was ready to show those who would harm you why she was overlord
🍎 Lucifer Morningstar x Reader 🐍
Lucifer knew perfectly well that you didn't feel pain. You've known each other for a long time and he often saw you after fights. You didn't pay attention to the wounds, just talked irritably about stained or torn clothes. You both knew that the lack of feeling pain had its own characteristics, so you made sure that the wounds were treated, and Lucifer made sure that no one dared to hurt you
Lucifer was much stronger than you, and when you were together, no one dared even try to look at you askance, but sometimes you got involved in fights, especially when it was the end of the year. You didn't want to hide, even though you knew you could have died. Every time Lucifer found out that you were fighting again, he watched, taking his time to intervene. It was only when he saw that you were seriously injured that he intervened
Lucifer sometimes offered to pick up personal guards for you, but you kept telling him that it wasn't necessary. Just because you didn't feel pain didn't mean you were reckless. You tried not to put yourself in excessive danger, realizing that even in Hell you could die
You didn't know how long you would be in Hell and whether it was possible to leave Hell at all, but while you were there you weren't going to let yourself die again, especially because you didn't notice any wound and Lucifer didn't mind helping you with it
🎪 Fizzarolli x Reader x Asmodeus 💕
In your relationship, Asmodeus has always tried to take care of Fizzarolli and you. He had sincere feelings for both of you, and you responded in kind, but if Fizzarolli really tried to be careful, then you got into trouble more often. They both saw the wounds healing on you, but you always said it was just a small accident and they had nothing to worry about. This went on until you returned with bloodstains on your clothes and serious wounds that you didn't pay attention to
They immediately rushed to you, both very worried. You convinced them that you were fine, but this time it was obviously not the case. Asmodeus treated your wounds, after which he seriously asked who did it. To his question, you smiled gently and said that they were much worse off than you, so you shouldn't have worried about it. However, there was something that did not escape their eyes. It's like you didn't feel the touch of your wounds
When Fizzarolli asked you if you were in pain, you were confused and said that you didn't feel any pain at all. You've had CIP and you've never felt pain in your entire life. There used to be problems because of this, but now you have learned to avoid serious problems, at least you tried
Asmodeus and Fizzarolli weren't going to leave you alone until your wounds were completely healed. They both surrounded you with care, worrying about you, to which you laughed softly and hugged them. Even in Hell, you were able to find those who gave you the warmth that warmed your heart and soul
2K notes · View notes
everyonewooeverywhere · 7 months
Text
Tumblr media
MDNI 18+ BLOG -> ageless blogs and minors WILL BE BLOCKED
pairing ✭ bf!jongho x f!reader
synopsis ✭ when you come home from a less-than-perfect day, your boyfriend is nowhere to be found, but you don't want to call him and ask him to come home while he's out with friends. even though he'd drop everything if he knew you were struggling.
content/genre ✭ smut 18+ MDNI, established relationship, non-idol!au, hurt to comfort, slightly angsty, relatively fluffy (certainly the fluffiest thing i've ever written here)
word count ✭ 2.5k
note ✭ so this was something i really needed to write for myself, i think. for those who don't know (which is all of you lol) i have adhd. where i see it the most in my own life is chronic procrastination. it's something i've had to learn to cope with a lot throughout my life. a lot of times, when i feel the need to avoid feeling the stress of my personal life, i'll scroll on instagram or tumblr forever. which then leads to a heaping ton of guilt in the following hours as i try to make up for lost time. it's a wonderful cycle.
anyway, this is to say, that coping alone can be incredibly difficult. don't get me wrong, i have a handful of wonderful friends (who go to school across the country) and an angel of a therapist, but i often romanticize having someone there to help drag me out of those hopeless cycles. and not because i think i need someone to do it for me, but having that person is a really comforting thought. and, today, that is jongho i guess 😀
that being said, this mc doesn't necessarily have adhd, but they are certainly experiencing something that i experience very frequently as a byproduct of it.
like, is this smut? yeah, but im allowed to be emotional 😗
warnings ✭ mc is stressed af, protected sex, really soft sex (they're in love 😤)
✭✭✭✭
It was a terrible day. One of the worst you’d had in a while. Nothing seemed to be going your way. You’d ripped your favorite pair of tights this morning when getting ready in a hurry after waking up super late. You’d locked yourself out of the apartment. The seven dollar coffee you’d bought for yourself to cope with aforementioned events had spilt all over your desk, ruining the book you had just received as a gift from a coworker. And, to top it all off, your boss had demanded you to stay late to finish what was supposed to be his job.
So when you finally made it back to your apartment, after waiting in the lobby forever waiting for your landlord to let you in, you wanted nothing more than to collapse on the couch with your boyfriend and fall asleep in his arms. 
You were plagued with fatigue as you slipped out of your work shoes and made your way through the kitchen and into the living room, not finding him anywhere. The bedroom the two of you shared was also completely vacant. Nothing had changed since you’d left this morning. He hadn’t been home all day.
Maybe he’s just working late, you thought, slightly defeated knowing you’d have to wait for him, not knowing how long it would take. 
Trying to take your mind off of it, you scrolled on your phone for a completely indiscernible amount of time, feeling completely defeated with the day you’d had. Moving in with Jongho months ago has been an incredibly helpful step for you. Before the two of you had lived together, you were a master of procrastinating your own feelings. Constantly letting yourself rot away in your bed and letting the day pass you by. Only to be plagued by that crushing guilt that came with letting a day go by unproductively. Living with Jongho had given you someone to hold you accountable. To pull you out of bed because sometimes it was impossible to do it on your own.
But on nights like these, where your boyfriend was nowhere to be found, which was not a common occurrence, you felt yourself slipping back into the endless cycle of losing yourself in your phone for countless hours. 
Hours passed and the sun was almost completely down before you received a text from your boyfriend.
| jongho 🐻🤎: hey love, sorry i had to stay late for work today. i’m gonna go get some drinks with my coworkers.
| jongho 🐻🤎: that ok?
God, you felt so helpless. How horrible and controlling of a partner would you be to tell him ‘no?’ Did he ask? Yes, but you desperately didn’t want to be the girl who always needed to be by her boyfriend’s side. Telling him he couldn’t go out with his friends would make you feel like such a nuisance. You stared at the screen for a good two minutes, biting your thumb, trying to think of how to respond.
| jongho 🐻🤎: y/n? 
| jongho 🐻🤎: i can see you read the message. is everything alright?
Before you could even draft a response, his name flashed across the screen. Taking a deep breath, you slid your thumb across the screen, answering the call.
“Hi,” you picked up.
“Hey, what’s wrong?” You could hear some of his coworkers in the background. He must already be at the bar. 
You held in a sigh, “Nothing, I’m alright. Why?”
“Y/n, you read and didn’t respond to my message. Like you were overthinking a response."
You didn’t say anything. Overthinking yet another response.
“Love, I don’t even want to be here that badly. If you need me to come home, I will. But you’ve gotta tell me.” He was being so patient with you. So much more patient than you thought you deserved, though he would certainly disagree with that.
You took a deep breath, nearing tears, “I–” this was so incredibly hard, “Can you please come home? I didn’t really have a great day.”
“Of course, I’ll be there in about thirty minutes. Do you want me to stay on the phone?”
“No, it’s alright. I just need to see you.”
“Ok, just hang in there alright. Why don’t you hop in the shower, and we can watch a movie when I get back. I’ll pick up some takeout on my way, too.”
When you hang up, you force yourself to get out of bed and get in the shower. It’s so rewarding and feels so relaxing that you can’t imagine why you ever couldn’t get out of the bed in the first place. But, of course, you say that every time. 
✭✭✭✭
By the time you had gotten out of the shower and dried your hair, Jongho had made it home with the takeout he’d promised in hand. 
When you left your bedroom, you saw him sitting on the floor in your living room. He’d lit a candle on the coffee table and set the food down with it. You could tell he’d changed out of his work clothes into a hoodie and basketball shorts, mirroring your almost identical outfit. He didn’t notice you at first. He was chatting to someone on the phone, seemingly a friendly conversation, and not one you wanted to interrupt. When he saw you, though, you heard him say goodbye to whoever was on the line. 
Throwing his phone down on the couch, he got up from the floor and met you at the door of your bedroom. Pulling you into a big hug, he placed a kiss on the top of your head. 
“No pressure, but, if you wanna talk about your day, we can.”
You shook your head, “Not really. I just wanna eat, I think.”
The two of you ate, sitting in comfortable silence on the floor in your living room. You noticed as you took in the scene around you, that Jongho had turned off all the overhead lights in the room. Leaving only the candlelight and the string lights around the ceiling to illuminate the room. There was something about warm lighting that made everything feel so much more cozy and comfortable. 
Your boyfriend wasn’t the most physically affectionate individual, but he never failed to make you feel loved. He always noticed the small things. He was hyper aware of your emotions in the least patronizing way possible. It was little moments like bringing home food for you and turning the cool-toned overhead lights off that reminded you that this man knew you better than anyone.
And that wasn’t something that happened overnight. He tried harder than anyone you’d ever met to know you. Your likes, dislikes, discomforts, phobias, and even your little habits. He knew it all. What he knew most is that you desired so bad to have someone to pull you out of your slump. Which is why he had come home early.
“I’m sorry you couldn’t stay out with your friends,” you whispered, staying focused on the food in front of you.
“I didn’t come home because I felt any obligation to. It’s not that I couldn’t stay out with my friends. It’s that you needed me here at home, and I wanted to come home and comfort you.” He ran a hand over your hair as he finished up his own food. 
That was another thing you loved about him. He wasn’t saying this because he wanted to make you feel better. He wanted you to know that you were not alone. That you were free to feel your feelings, and he’d always be right beside you to comfort you through them.
“Thank you,” you looked up at him, “I love you, you know that, right?”
“How could I ever forget? I love you, too, y/n.”
✭✭✭✭
After the food was gone and the coffee table was cleared, Jongho had put on a movie laid down on the couch, holding out his arms for you. When you finally sat between his legs and leaned into his chest, he pulled a quilted blanket over the two of you, wrapping his arms around you.
You paid very little mind to the movie playing on the TV. Instead you were focused on the rhythm of his breathing, the steady beating of his heart, and the minor movements his chest would make when he let out a soft laugh whatever he was watching.
He played with your hair, running his fingers through the strands, softly brushing his fingers over your neck with each pass. This position couldn’t have been more comfortable. Being with the man you loved as he comforted you in the way he knew best with absolutely no complaint was more than you could’ve ever dreamed of.
Jongho would claim that it was the bare minimum, but you always felt the need to let him know how much he really amazed you. 
When you reached your hand up to his cheek to brush your thumb over the skin, he looked down at you, completely forgetting about the movie playing. He grabbed your hand from his cheek and kissed your fingers, your palm, the back of your hand, the inside of your wrist.
Pulling yourself up to his face, you kissed him as softly as he’d done to your hand. Everything was so soft. From the way he kissed you to the way he caressed the skin under your hoodie right above the waistband of your shorts. From the hand you had in his hair to the way he lifted you to sit more comfortably in his lap.
He kissed your neck just as softly. You sighed contently. Fully basking in the way he took care of you. His movie was fully disregarded at this point as he gripped the bottom of your shirt.
Looking into your eyes he asked, “can I take care of you, love?” You nodded, helping him lift the sweatshirt over your head. 
Before you could even comprehend the nakedness of your chest, he lifted you into his arms and carried you to your shared bed. Laying you on your back. Your bare skin taking immense comfort in the softness of your sheet. He pulled his shirt over his head and threw his pants off to the side.
He immediately went back to kissing you. Hands moving from your cheeks, down your neck. His thumbs caressed your collarbone as his lips brushed the crook of your neck and then your shoulder. You shuddered when one of his hands took your breast. His lips met the other one, causing you to let out a breathy moan and weave your fingers through his dark hair.
He continued to kiss and touch every inch of your torso. When he got to your waistband, he left a small kiss under your belly button. His big brown eyes meeting your own as he pulled your shorts and underwear off together. Tossing them to the side of the bed. 
Lifting one of your legs onto his shoulder, he kissed your inner thigh, still meeting your eyes. The eye contact wasn’t broken until his thumb met your clit. Brushing over it slightly, making you toss your head back into the pillows under you. His mouth replaced his thumb, slowly teasing you. 
With his free hand, he took your own hand, the one that wasn’t gripping his hair, and threaded his fingers through yours. Thumb brushing over the back of your hand.
He felt so good. His tongue working so hard to make you feel pleasure. Everything was so gentle, but felt so euphoric. His fingers pumping in and out of you as he sucked on your clit. You felt like you could’ve floated away with the way he caressed your hand and your thigh. It wasn’t long before you were washed with a wave of pleasure. Everything was hot. You felt it rush through you from your ears down to your cunt. He kissed your thigh one more time after you came, fingers pushing you through the finale of your orgasm. 
Your breathing was ragged when he made it back up to your face, kissing you tenderly. Reaching a hand beneath the pillow under your head. He pulled out a condom. Before he could open it, you plucked it out of his hands, tearing it open as he stripped himself of his own underwear before you rolled the rubber onto his length. He groaned at the touch.
“You ready?” He asked, grabbing your arm and kissing your wrist.
You nodded, smiling, “yes. please, baby.”
When he pushed into you, you gasped and threw your head back again. He kissed your neck and shoulder, slowly thrusting into you. On most occasions, you’d beg him to go faster, but his subdued nature in this moment was so incredibly comforting. His thumb massaged your clit.
He kissed you deeply as he thrust into you. Completely overtaking your lips with his own. His kisses were so full of passion that your head spun. His adoration for you was so evident from the way he looked into your eyes when he stopped kissing you. Your foreheads pressed together, separated only by a thin layer of sweat. 
“I love you so much, y/n,” he says, just above a whisper. So close that you can feel his breath tickle your lips when he says it.
You moan softly, feeling yourself reach a second high, “I love you, too.”
It’s only a matter of minutes before you reach your orgasm. You grip his shoulders tight as he coaxes you through your climax. Walls fluttering around him as he finishes inside the condom. 
He kisses your lips once more before pulling out. He pushes himself off the bed to throw it away. When he comes back, he slides back into bed with you. Breath still slightly ragged. 
You laid on his chest, listening to his heart beat once more.
Running a hand over his stomach, you said, “Thanks for coming home early today.”
“Of course, love. You know I’d drop anything to come home to you if you were struggling.”
“I just feel like such a nuisance asking for you to come home,” you groaned.
He ran a hand over your hair, “I will never ever see you asking for help as a nuisance. Sometimes you just need a little push. Or sometimes you just need to lay in someone’s arms. I will always be there to do that for you. No matter the circumstance, ok?”
You wanted to protest, tell him he was too much, too good to you, but he kept going, “I trust you. I know that when you ask me to come home, it’s not because you're insecure or controlling. It’s because you need help, and I want you to always feel comfortable asking for it.”
He’d left you just a little bit speechless. All you could respond with was a gentle kiss on his lips.
For him, though, that was more than enough.
✭✭✭✭
note ✭ ok this shit got really personal 💀 but i did really enjoy writing it. it's not often that i write a whole oneshot in one sitting but i did today (other than my minor break to eat dinner).
also, i was actually between writing this for vernon or jongho because i felt like they both kinda fit the vibe (sorry if the knowledge that this could have been a hansol fic makes anyone sad), but maybe i'll write something similar for him next time i'm feeling it
again, i hope you enjoyed this! thank you so much for reading 💗
mwah~
475 notes · View notes
kira-fluff · 1 year
Note
hi,can you do yn who sleeps with no pants pt3 with kenma and suna please?
sleeping with no pants on | fem!reader x haikyuu!!
a/n: i finally got my new laptop today so it's back to writing ^^
tw: language, NSWF, kenma's is a lil more than that lol (why? idk)
pt. 1 pt. 2
kenma kozume
you liked to sit and watch while kenma gamed, smiling as you heard the curses he said under his breath at a loss, or the smirk at a triumphant win. you laughed to yourself as you sat this time at 3am, recalling how kenma used to wake up early just to play his video games when he was younger. now that he was older, he had the luxury of playing as late as he wanted. the two of you hadn't been dating for very long, still very much in the kiss-hand-holding phase, so you balked in surprise when kenma suddenly said, "hey, are you sleeping here tonight?" while his eyes were still glued to his screen. you choked on your words. this was a big step for you, but not one you didn't want to take. you were just surprised at how causally he had brought the whole topic up. it seemed to shock you too evidently because he then added, "you don't have to though." you shook your head, "no, no, I want to. it's getting late, ken. lets get to bed." normally, kenma would fight tooth and nail to get even one more hour of gaming time like you were his mother, but he also knew it was out of concern that you often asked him to finish for the night. however, this time, kenma felt no need to continue pressing the buttons in rhythm with his console. you decided then and there that you would take the leap, and change in front of him. slowly, you lifted up your shirt. the rustling of fabric caused kenma to turn around in time to see your breasts bounce free from your bra. he whipped his head back in time for you not to see, his ears beet red. "kenma?" you said quietly. "..hmm?" "I-uh--well. so, when I sleep, I can't sleep when I have pants on..." kenma swallowed. "no problem." in all honesty, kenma didn't wear them either. he wore clothes for comfort, not for style, and the same was for sleeping. being able to be free from the confines of clothing was one of his favorite reasons for finally turning to going back to sleep. when you pulled down your shorts, exposing your panties, his eyes pooled with a dark gold. still, he pushed the thoughts away and instead decided it was time for him to head in too. after removing his sweatpants after turning off the light, he heard a little gasp as he slipped into the covers. kenma's bare leg had rubbed against your own. he wasn't wearing pants either? you could scarcely hold yourself together as you searched for things to think about other than the fact that your boyfriend was lying down next to you, pant-less. that morning you awoke in kenma's arms, the warm feeling of his chest against your back. <3
suna rintarou
you and suna ended up sleeping at each other's houses for the night several on several occasions. after watching movie with your best friend since middle school, it was pretty much a given that you didn't care much what the other did. still, you hadn't really reached the gap where you could step in and possibly admit your feelings for him. so, whenever he spent the night or vice versa, you would slide into the bed you both agreed to share (because who really cares?) with your complete pajama set on. you figured you would be going too far if you decided to be comfortable and take off your little shorts. this, of course, made it difficult for you to sleep. you moved around in an effort to get more comfortable, but all that did was rearrange your shorts so they were almost reversed - front in the back, back in the front. you sighed. "why do you keep rolling around like a burrito?" "that makes no sense." you said. "burritos are rolled." he said in the obnoxiously snarky way he speaks when he thinks something is obvious. "why are you awake arguing with me about burritos?" you muttered. "because you woke me up."m "it's just hard for me to fall asleep right now. it's too.. hot in here." "liar. the a/c is on full blast." he said. you sighed again, "well I'm just uncomfortable, ok?" he sat up a little, resting his head on the palm of his hand, his head turned to you. "why?" "it's really stupid and embarrassing." "everything about you is stupid and embarrassing." he smirked. he was rewarded with a flick on his forehead. "shut up, rin." his stare urged you to speak once more. "well," you began, "I can't sleep if my pants or shorts are on." he was quiet for a moment before his voice came out in a rasp, "well then don't wear any." you looked his way, noticing his eyes glowing in the moonlight creeping through the blinds. "but we're...friends." he swallowed thickly. "doesn't mean you can't take your shorts off--" he cut himself off. "it doesn't mean you can't be comfortable. there's covers anyway." you stared at him in apprehension before bringing your hands to your hips below the covers. slowly, you pulled them down, only the sound of the sheets and fabrics ruffling. suna sounded a bit like he was getting hot too because he was panting a bit when you turned to him. you looked at him with a questioning expression. "sorry.." he muttered, "kinda hard to breathe in here with the air quality and stuff." you were well aware the windows were closed and that was probably bullshit, but you decided not to press further. "well, anyway. thanks. goodnight." you smiled meekly, turning to your side. what you weren't aware of was that suna wasn't able to sleep a wink that night, much less when you shoved off the covers while sleeping (I guess you were actually a little bit hot). suna was suffering, truly, as he tried not to stare at the bottom half of you - only panties covering you. the morning couldn't come soon enough for him.
1K notes · View notes
laurenairay · 5 months
Text
Got me in the palm of your hand - M. Tkachuk
Tumblr media
Summary: Wedding preparations are always emotional.
Word count: 1.1k
Warnings: mild angst
A/N: I love this song and I just felt inspired to write a little something. Enjoy!
Title from I don’t dance, by Lee Brice
~
I'll never settle down, That's what I always thought, Yeah, I was that kind of man, Just ask anyone, I don't dance, but here I am.
“How many more of these do we need to make?”
“Seeing as your family has about a 1000 people in it, we are barely a quarter way through,” you mused.
Taryn just groaned, throwing her head back dramatically.
“I love you, and I love Matty, but I am never doing this again,” she muttered.
“Hopefully I’ll never have to do it again either,” you teased.
That was the thing about weddings – there were a hundred things to do and nowhere near enough time to do them. Taryn had volunteered to come over to help you assemble the table centrepieces while Matthew and Brady went to pick up their tailored suits, and now that you’d finally sorted out the table plan, it was time to figure out decorations. It didn’t matter that Matthew was more than happy to splash the cash and hire professionals to take care of everything – there were just some things that needed a personal touch. Table centrepieces were easy enough, and what you’d been putting together wasn’t difficult, but with the amount of guests you’d invited? Turns out there were a lot of tables needing decorations.
“You know, I never thought he’d settle down,” Taryn said suddenly.
You inhaled sharply as her words sunk in, dread cutting through your body.
“What?”
You turned your head, frowning at your soon-to-be sister-in-law’s words.
“Do you want to elaborate on that, Taryn?” you said dryly, raising an eyebrow.
She flushed deeply, grimacing at your reaction, but you held firm. It wasn’t like you hadn’t known Matthew’s reputation when you’d first started dating him, the serial dater-and-heartbreaker, but to hear that from his sister? You couldn’t deny it stung a little.
“I really don’t know how to answer without digging myself a hole?” she admitted.
You sighed, running a hand through your hair. You knew she wasn’t malicious or spiteful or even mean, but you needed more than that.
“I need you to say something, Tar, because right now my head is saying that this is Matty’s way of sneakily saying that he doesn’t want to get married.”
Because that was exactly what you were preparing for right now – the wedding that was only a month away. So the last thing you needed was the doubt that Matthew wasn’t as all in as you were – you needed to know.
“Oh my god, no, no way,” Taryn said quickly, shaking her head, “He absolutely 100% wants to marry you. That isn’t it at all.”
You let out a breath that was far shakier than you thought it would be and nodded. That was a slight relief at least. Still, you waited her out, needing her to finish her thoughts before you spiralled all over again. Matthew held your whole heart and for that brief moment that heart had started to crumble. Nothing had ever felt like that before.
“Matthew is a hopeless romantic at his core,” she eventually said, “You know that, everyone knows that. But he had such high standards for the person he envisioned spending the rest of his life with that I guess he figured he’d never find that perfect person, so he just dated casually, right?”
“Okay…”
You could see where she was going with this, so you nodded your encouragement.
“He dated casually, and often less than even calling it dating, all things I know you two have already talked about because he told me and Brady that he’d told you it all. It turned into him putting on a front, creating this image of someone who wasn’t a romantic, who didn’t invest himself in any relationship and it sucked seeing him that way. We just wanted him to be happy, you know? So when he started talking about you? We knew something had changed.”
“Really?” you found yourself asking.
Taryn grinned widely, making you laugh. “Yeah, really really. It took him a while, I’ll admit, old habits and all I suppose, but when he properly started talking about you? About all the dates and how beautiful you were and the way you were clearly filling all the voids in his life? Me and Brady were buzzing. When he finally told mom about you after that date he took you dancing? That was it, I knew you were it for him. He never dances for anyone. So yeah, I never thought he’d settle down because he wanted that fairytale. But he’s found that with you.”
The tears that filled your eyes didn’t hesitate to trickle down your cheeks, a soft whimper tearing from your throat before you could stop it. No-one had ever told you that’s how Matthew had spoken about you. And that was when she knew you were it for Matthew? That was years ago.
“I am so sorry. I didn’t mean to make you cry. Please don’t tell Matty I made you cry,” Taryn said, panicking.
“Happy tears, I promise. Happy tears,” you replied, shaking your head.
You wiped your face with sleeves, no doubt smearing mascara everywhere, laughing wetly as you tried to compose yourself. It didn’t matter how long you’d known the Tkachuk family – one of them always managed to catch you off-guard. And to think, soon enough, you’d be one of them.
Wasn’t that a thought?
“I’m really sorry. I’ve made an ass of myself and I really didn’t mean to,” Taryn mumbled.
That self-deprecating look on her face was so familiar that it made your chest ache, and you wasted no time in pulling her into a hug. Taryn immediately hugged you back, firm and loving, a Tkachuk family trait, making you laugh softly.
“I think this calls for a drink,” you said, once you’d eventually pulled away.
“Shit yeah, I’ll get us some beers.”
As Taryn walked out of the room, you unlocked your phone, tapping through to your message thread with Matthew.
To: Matty I love you. So much.
You didn’t have to wait long for a reply, phone buzzing within minutes.
From: Matty I love you more. So much more than Brady. He keeps whining that he’s hungry even though we ate two hours ago. How do you feel about sushi for dinner? I can pick up your favourites on my way home?
Yeah you really couldn’t wait to marry this man.
~
Spinnin' you 'round and 'round in circles, It ain't my style, but I don't care, I'd do anything with you anywhere, Yes, you got me in the palm of your hand, 'Cause I don't dance.
313 notes · View notes
i-am-hungry-24-7 · 6 months
Note
Since you open ask box and request, can I get TF141 men (or Ghost and Gaz if you don't feel like to write all of them) reacting to cool, rarely smile, intimidating and stoic reader finally smiling for the first time. Let's say reader has soft spot for certain things (cat, dog, book, flower etc) and they immediately smile when they see them without realize it. Boys just keep falling harder for reader and decide to make it their mission to make reader smiles more often.
I guess that's all for now. Thank you
🦈
hello🦈 anon!! Sorry I wasn't sure you want me to write them separately or together, so I chose the latter lmao. Hope you will like it (or don't hate it), TYSM for the request :) I love this request so much since I'm always a fan of cool reader. tf141*GN!Reader, Reader's kinda tsundere word count: 1.9k
Every member of Task Force 141 saw you as a capable teammate, you went through thick and thin with them, and always have their back. On the field, your shooting accuracy and excellent combat skills saved you and the team many times, quickly clearing any threat so the mission wouldn’t be compromised. You have rarely been scolded by Price, and always dealt with your paperwork impeccably. The only problem was that you’re too stoic, they never saw you smile from the first day you joined the task force. More like a robot than a human, this is how others evaluated you, and you had an aura that made recruits afraid to speak to you.
You even smiled less than Ghost, at least the man still got some dry humor and bad jokes to spit out, but you rarely reacted to greetings except a nod, less to say about Soap and Gaz joking with you, they were lucky if you spared them a crook of your eyebrows to their teasing that day. but this only made your teammates curious —especially Soap — eager to know the person under the facade, even if it was just a little. Soap wrote down what he discovered from you every day in his journal, from how you always have your tea, to trivial habits like you would frown nearly imperceptibly when you see the cafeteria is out of your favorite sandwich. Soap would tell other men about what he finds about you today, and they would keep those details in mind too. Until the day, Laswell brought a big cake which she was gifted by others but she was unable to finish it herself. They saw your eyes brighten instantly, and an expectant smile blooms on your face. Your eyes stuck on the exquisite big cake in front of you, not aware of Gaz gaping at your smile like he saw the sun rise from the west today, how Price immediately stopped his hand while smoking his cigar so he could take a good look, even Ghost’s eyes were wide like full moon behind his mask. It wasn't until Soap’s yelp that dragged you out of your trance, and you turned around just to find all your teammates staring at you like you were an alien. “Any issues, MacTavish?” Confused, you asked Soap who made you stop staring at the cake. “You- You can smile?” “Did I?” “Well, let’s finish this quickly so it won’t left over to tomorrow” Price raised his hand to interrupt the talk before Soap could say other things “The fridge has no place to put this bloody huge cake.” After Price’s command, all of you walked and took a plate and fork. Price sliced a medium size for him, Ghost did the same. Soap took the knife and sliced a slightly bigger one for him and Gaz, but when he was about to cut one for you, you reached out your hand to beckon a “give me” gesture, which Soap obliged and handed over the handle to you. Only for him to see you slice 1/3 of that damn enormous cake and put it on your plate. “Wha- ye sure ye can eat all of ‘em ?!” His jaw dropped at the huge slice of cake that made the center of your paper plate sink, but only received an “huh” face from you. Well, his concern was unneeded, because you devoured the whole thing in 5 minutes, faster than everyone else, and stood up to cut another piece. “you really like cake ain’t you.” Gaz chuckled at the scene where you almost bury your face in the plate. “No.” “Then why are you smiling like a kid who sees their favorite toy?” Frowning, you touched your cheek to check, and oh shit, you truly were. “I-“ your face changed from :D to :| while you tried to find an excuse “It’s just Captain said that don’t leave the cake overnight, so I’m eating this much, not that I love cake.”
Even though your poor excuse, all of them knew their new goal now: bringing you cakes so they could see the pretty smile enthralled them. The first who brought you cake is Ghost, he saw a strawberry shortcake on his way back to the base, he didn’t think twice before he told the staff to wrap the cake for him. and he was sure his decision was right when he showed it to you, and you two sat in the common area. He drank the tea you made for him as appreciation while watching that pretty smile reappear on your face again. “Look who said they don’t love cakes, and eatin’ like a man who haven’t eaten in days now.” He lifted his mask to his nose to drink the tea, so when you shot him a glare, you could see the smirk spreading on his lips. “You bought it and I don’t want to waste it, that’s it.” you stabbed the fork on the cake. Ghost huffed out a laugh at your answer, but when you went back to swallow a full spoon of whipped cream, he took note in his mind to buy you the chocolate mousse he saw at the store next time, so the precious expression.
Gaz bought you an Earl Grey mille crepe cake a few days after, which was the flavor of your favorite tea. “It’s it good?” He gave you a toothly grin that you thought was too dazzling when the “not bad” slipped out your lips whilst you were busy finishing the cake. He sat beside you and ate the slice you cut for him, and he rambled about what happened today to entertain you. You pretended you were not interested, eyes never left the cake, but you memorized everything he said clearly.
Of course, Soap wouldn’t forget to dig into this breakthrough of yours. A big ‘they love CAKES!’ was written in his journal, with 2 circles highlighting the words. He considered you have eaten crepe cake and shortcake from Ghost and Gaz, so he got you a basque cheesecake. “What is this?” You tilted your head when you opened the take-out box. “basque cheesecake. Heard it from the medics.” Soap watched you attentively take a little bite at the cake, and he laughed when your face beamed up in a second. “Not bad?” He knew you just refused to admit you love cakes. You answered with your cheeks stuffed with cheesecake. “NAOW BAA” After he waved goodbye to you, he came back to his barrack, he opened his journal. a big ‘Basque cheesecake ✔️’ had been added under the circles.
The captain hadn’t let the chances to see your face gleam with happiness slip by too. As usual, you came to his office with a flawless report, and for some debrief about the next mission. When it was over and you were about to leave, he called your name to stop you from exiting. “Is there anything I forgot to tell you, Captain?” Your face was serious, without any improper or unprofessional, but it didn’t last long because Price took out a fresh cream Swiss roll. “You’re going to drool all over your shirt, sergeant.” He teased and received a little scowl from you, but the harmless scowl was unable to stop him from fixating on and mesmerized by the satisfied grin that lingered on your face when you made both of you some tea and started consuming the whole roll.
You got pampered by all 4 men of your team for months. Thanks to the high amount of exercise, you didn’t gain belly fat, and getting lots of cakes from them had you started gifting them things too. You got Ghost some nice whiskey when you came back from leave, which he gladly accepted and invited you to drink together. You gave Soap some snacks from your hometown and stationeries for journaling, and almost get squished into a dough by his tight embrace. Gaz got some game cards from you, and when he surprisingly asked you why you knew he wanted those games for a while, you just shrugged and walked away, there was no chance that you were gonna tell him you had been listening to him and Soap chatting about them. Price entered his office one day morning, and saw his box of favorite cigars and tea being placed on his desk. He realized it was you in the blink of an eye, only you would choose to secretly put gifts and refuse to leave a note indicating who you were. He just patted your head and thanked you when he met you in the training room.
Times flew fast when your life was occupied with missions and training (and cakes). Tonight you went out for a while to buy something for your teammates, since they still insisted on feeding you cakes frequently, recompensing them with gifts they loved had become your habit too. but when you searched from the common room to Price’s office, you couldn’t find any of them. Odd, you thought, you hadn’t heard them leaving the base too, you even searched each of their room, which still lacked their figures. Furrowing your brows, you decided to go back to your room, maybe you could give them tomorrow. What you didn’t expect was when you opened the door of your room, you were welcomed by Soap and Gaz’s exciting voice. “Happy birthday!” “Jesus… I was searching for all of you…” Your eyes rounded “Wait… It’s my birthday today?” “Don’t tell me ye didn’ remember!” Soap, who standing closest to you and with a birthday cake, shoved you playfully with his elbow. “I…” You glanced at the calendar hanging on your wall, unable to form words when you realized it really was your birthday today. “Come take a seat, love.” Price’s words help you fill the silence. You slowly closed the door behind you, and your gaze traveled from the elegant cake, the flames dancing on the candle, to your teammates — the people you trusted with your life. “A cake makes you stupid, sergeant?” You heard Ghost chuckle at your reaction, but you didn’t glower at him this time, because you felt tears welled up in your eyes, uncontrollably. “Oh no, lovie’s going ta cry!” Gaz joked at you while he led you to your seat. You blinked away tears before they could escape, and smack at Gaz’s bicep. “Shut up, Garrick.” The laughs and jokes filled your little room with joy, you sat there listening to Gaz and Soap banter with Ghost about how he was so selective about the cake so they could give you the best one, and as Ghost retorted back, a plate was handed to you. The biggest slice among others, full of whipped cream and fruits decorating it. You picked up the fork and started eating, the sweetness spread inside your mouth, with the fruit neutralizing it and taking the taste to a whole other level. “Ye always smile when ye eatin’ cakes, you know? really like cakes don’t ye?” You raised your head from the plate, and finding everyone looking at you, with such softness you questioned yourself if you were able to reciprocate, and you touched your cheeks, you could feel the corner of your lips curling upwards. but this time, you deepened your grin, warm and fascinating, before you picked up your fork again. “Maybe I do.”
284 notes · View notes
rekino2114 · 4 months
Text
How the chainsaw man girls handle jealousy
A/n:I usually don't write for the csm 2 girls but let me know if you want me to and I'll add them to the masterlist (mainly cause I really like fami)
Makima
Tumblr media
Thanks to you, makima, now could finally feel true emotions. You made her feel the happiness of being truly loved, the sadness of being without you, anger when a devil had the gall to hurt you, and the worry of when you came injured from a mission and so on..
She felt another one of those emotions when she saw you talking to another girl at the public safety headquarters, a particularly flirty one who apparently didn't know you were dating her boss.
Ah this must be jealousy.
She wasn't that bothered by it. She knows she can trust that you'll never leave her. However, the moment she starts touching you even after you clearly rejected her and is making you feel uncomfortable, that girl is dead.
She might have better morals after meeting you but she's not above killing who she deems as human scum.
But if things don't reach that stage, the girl might just be assigned a particularly difficult mission as her next
"Sorry, but I have a girlfriend,"
"Who cares? It's not like she's gonna know anyway"
"Sorry to interrupt, but I'd like to talk to y/n"
"Ah! M-miss makima!"
"Oh sure babe"
"B-babe? You mean she's your girlfriend"
"Exactly, and now that you know I suggest not looking forward to your next mission"
Power
Tumblr media
The moment she sees you talking to another girl, she gets mad, she assumes you're cheating on her cause she doesn't have that much of an understanding of relationships.
In her eyes, you don't need anyone else when she's clearly the best option.
She's also really angry towards the girl. How dare she try to steal what's hers? Even though she wasn't flirting with you
"Hey! Y/n! What are you doing talking to this human"
"Oh power, don't worry she was just asking me directions"
"Like I believe that! You better go away this very moment I'll kill you!"
"Power be nice"
"Only if you stop talking to this bitch"
"*sigh* I'm so sorry"
Himeno
Tumblr media
How she reacts depends on how drunk she is.
She gets really clingy when she is drunk, so she'll hug you from behind and lazily try to pull you away from the girl you were talking to while mumbling some incoherent words and that's usually your sign to take her home.
She's really not that jealous when sober, even when a girl flirts, she doesn't get mad, she understands her,after all if she didn't flirt with you she wouldn't have gotten with her amazing partner.
"Hey, you having fun without me over here?
"Oh sorry hime,I was just about to tell her I have a girlfriend"
"Oh you do? Sorry I had no idea"
"It's fine. I get it they're so stunning anyone would try to get with them"
"Did you just use the fact that a girl was flirting with me as a way to flirt with me?
"Guess so, I guess complimenting you is just second nature to me"
Kobeni higashiyama
Tumblr media
This poor nervous wreck of a girl.
Whenever she sees you talking to another girl, she kinda gets anxious and starts comparing herself to that girl. Imagine how it is when a girl actually flirts with you
She starts overthinking and sweating,thoughts that you're gonna leave her for the other girl and how she's a bad girlfriend her fill her head.
She'd rather self combust than try to confront the girl with you around so she'll just continue wallowing in self-pity until you finish.
She needs a lot of hugs and reassurances later to calm down
"Hey, are you OK, kobeni? You were sweating and shaking"
"O-oh n-o i'm ok, what about t-that girl you were talking to?"
"I told her I had a girlfriend and she left, don't worry,more importantly, let's continue out date"
"R-really?"
"Of course you're my girlfriend right? I'd much rather hang out with you than some random girl"
"Uhm t-thank you"
Asa mitaka
Tumblr media
She is also kind of anxious and worried just way less than kobeni.
She feels kind of like a bad and boring girlfriend often, and that feeling skyrockets when a girl flits with you.
She trusts you, but seeing you so close to that girl while she blatantly flirts with you just makes her feel kinda angry at her, and yoru definitely tries to take advantage of that.
"Come on don't you wanna get rid of her anyway"
"Not in that way yoru!"
"Just turn her into a weapon, that way I get a new one to fight chainsaw man, and you get to take care of that bitch"
"I'm not gonna do that"
"Geez you really are a bad girlfriend then"
"I'M NOT A BAD GIRLFRIEND"
"........"
"D-did I say that out loud?"
"Yeah but don't worry at least it was the truth"
Yoru
Tumblr media
You and yoru begged asa to let her take control of her body for just an entire date. After a lot of hesitancy, she accepted but made yoru promise not to kill anyone........ You should probably think twice before trusting the war devil
The moment she saw another girl even look at you with a flirty gaze, immediately she turned her into a weapon without any hesitation.
You weren't that shocked, dating yoru does come with a very high chance of her trying to murder people she even thinks are trying to steal you, you were kinda mad at her for what she promised asa though.
"*sighs* why did you do that?"
"You're mine she was trying to take you from me. I could feel it"
"And how are you gonna explain it to asa?"
"Well it's not my problem"
"What?"
Then she feel unconscious the scars from her face disappeared and asa woke up looked at the weapon in her hand and then at you
"I'm so sorry asa I swear I can explain"
Fami
Tumblr media
She was just coming back to your table with your fast food orders (she got way too much food for herself). When she saw you talking to a girl, she didn't recognize
She didn't think much about it maybe you were just talking to a friend. So she ignored the kinda weird feeling in her chest by doing her favorite thing (tied with spending time with you) eating.
The girl, meanwhile, was very freaked out that a random girl was staring at her with a cold glare and ringed eyes so she left allowing you to go back to your girlfriend.
"Hey fami, sorry if It took me long"
"It's fine, who was that girl you were with?
"I don't know she just came up to me and started flirting"
"I see"
"Why? Are you jealous"
"No I am not"
"Alright whatever you say, you did eat faster than usual though and that's saying something"
"*sighs* Humans are truly weird creatures"
371 notes · View notes
drdemonprince · 9 months
Text
When other people say that they do not have enough time to get something done, they (often, if they're quite healthy) mean they are taking into account the time it takes to do the laundry and arrange new pieces of furniture and cook dinner and meet up with friends to see a movie and run to the post office or the hair dresser and take the dog for walks and do the dishes and paint their nails and drive to the store and go to their cousin's wedding and go to the barbecue their friend is throwing on the weekend
they don't winnow their life down to just spending time at the computer, working from when they wake up until they cannot focus their eyes anymore, granola bars, coffee, and bottles of water all around them because of course they did not take time to have lunch or breakfast, only dragging themselves away from work when they are truly too exhausted to do any of it anymore, and then lacking the energy to do much of anything that remains of life but to eat a tiny bit more, sponge themselves off, and go to sleep.
i just saw a video of a fursuiter on their bed, legs kicked back, head propped on their hands, delightedly announcing that after many years of hard work they had finally finished their Master's degree. And some part of me, some sick withered part, thought really? you had time to do a Master's degree while also getting a fursuit done? and going to conventions, presumably? you had time in the day to research fursuit makers, have a sona designed and drawn by someone else (or to draw it yourself), to contact a maker to make a duck tape dummy of yourself, and to have a friend over to help you make it and to cut it off of you, to send it in the mail to the maker, to then get it and make videos? you had time to set up this beautiful bedroom that i see in your video, with a soft pink sham on the bed and LED lights behind your bookshelf and lamps and all kinds of stuffed toys? you had a life? you were out playing, and dancing, and pursuing your hobbies, and you did a master's degree?
because when i was working on my doctorate, there was nothing. three layers of foam on the floor with a fitted sheet over it. a folding card table from aldi that had cost $40 that my grandparents got me. no food in the fridge. no time to even get the internet installed, just stolen wi-fi when my laptop could pick it up. i woke up, got dressed, and slunk into the office. i sat alone in the dark working until my hunger made me furious and i could not write another word. and then i walked to the grocery store, got something to subsist on, went home, ate, kickboxing video, went to sleep. every day. with almost nothing breaking the routine.
and ive gotten better, so much better, but my brain still kind of works that way. i feel like i have to quit my job and stop being a writer if i want to have hobbies. to paint my bedroom. to marinate a meat for longer than fifteen minutes. to get a driver's license again. to take a trip. but i dont want to be like that any more. how do people know when to stop? i feel like i have to give everything my absolute all until there is nothing left or else i have done nothing. i feel that i would have to treat a hobby like a job to get it done. I feel that anything that takes more than two minutes is a huge waste of time i must feel guilty for. i am working on all these things. jesus i have been working on them for years at this point. but because i have been so successful at telling people to do less, i get pulled in. interview. workshop invitation. email. urgent in the subject line. call from my agent. meeting request from my boss. new book idea, better sell it now while my sales figures still look good. recording studio session. deadline. writing. can you talk about this. can you talk about that. tag. email. book idea. deadline. long heartfelt email. still so often i have to take my own damn advice.
and this is why i am getting a fursuit made!! and going to cons! and going to leather and latex events! and making socials that are separate for these things!! i am going to let myself be silly and soft and do frivolous things. i am so sick of what i do to myself, all the pursuit of seeming like a strong mature adult.
206 notes · View notes
erraticprocrastinator · 10 months
Text
More random writing advice: preventing yourself getting stuck
I want to preface this by saying that there's no way to fully prevent yourself getting stuck on a scene or an entire story. We're all prone to it, and sometimes you're unfortunately just going to have those WIPs that sit there for a while whilst you stare at them hopelessly. But I have noticed that since I started doing this it has happened to me way less often.
If you feel yourself getting stuck, never leave your WIP on a finished sentence. Always try and type the first word or two of the next one, even if you can't think of how to finish it or don't really know exactly what happens. If you know you want a character to do something, type a pronoun or their name. If you know it's going to be dialogue, type a quotation mark. Anything, just type it. When you come back to your WIP, sometimes seeing that start of the sentence can act as the prompt you need to get things moving again. Instead of coming back with absolutely no clue what happens next, you'll have the smallest of catalysts to spark you on. No, it doesn't always work, but it's definitely helped me in more than one situation where I know I would have otherwise gotten completely stuck, so it's worth giving a try.
*I'm not stuck on this one but here's an example of what I mean. I've actually gotten into the habit of doing it whenever I have to leave off on an unfinished paragraph and I swear it's helped.
Tumblr media
217 notes · View notes
the-modern-typewriter · 2 months
Note
How do ik my writings good? It's my first story and so far it's been stressful cause I don't know if I'm doing anything right. I understand that writings a skill that'll build overtime but I have Noone that can give me critiques or tell what's ik doing right. All I get is it good which is nice but it's not beneficial 😅. So idk how to judge my self accurately
Part 1: How to ask for feedback
One way to get around just 'this is good' as feedback (especially when it comes from well-meaning places, like people who love you, so you don't know if you can trust it) is to ask some follow up questions.
This is partly because it helps you figure out what you're going for in a story/what's important, can be a way of checking if you conveyed what you wanted to convey etc. This is also partly because giving good feedback is as much of a learned skill as writing is. The questions can help anyone giving you feedback along because they don't necessarily know what you want or what would be helpful or where to start.
This can be questions that you submit alongside the piece or it can be questions you ask the person after. E.g. 'I was going for X, is this the impression you got?' This can be more or less complicated depending on who the reader is. So, if it is another writer, it might be more technical. If it's a kind friend, it might be 'did you see the ending coming?'
(The questions will depend on you/your story and what it is that you specifically want feedback about. There are many lists of 'questions to ask beta readers' floating around on the internet if you're not sure where to start.)
The questions can help bypass 'good', because no one wants to be mean, but if you ask the right questions it can help highlight if there are any issues in the story etc.
Leading to...
Part 2: It really does come with time/you as the writer/editing skill
Critique and feedback is fantastic and often validating. Most writers (myself included) adore feedback. Yay feedback!
However, the other skill you will developing alongside writing is editing and reflecting on your writing. This might include questions you ask yourself like:
E.g. Is this what I set out to achieve? On on a technical level, does this sentence flow nicely or am I catching on it? Is there a stronger word I could use here? Are there any boring bits?
Reading books you enjoy and figuring out what they're doing can help with this - and so can reading books and figuring out what you don't like about them and why. Both are part of the same skillset, it's just harder to do with your own work.
Final editing note: leave space between finishing a story and going back to it with an editing/'is this good' hat on. You will be blind to your own words straight after the writing process. Coming back in a week or two with fresh eyes can give you a much clearer perspective.
A first draft is often stressful and we are often not sure about it and honestly it often does need work or changes. That doesn't mean your writing is bad. It means it's a first draft and 75% of really brilliant writing is editing.
Part 3: Very important caveat
Good can mean 'I enjoyed writing this.'
You are on your first story! That's so exciting :D
While I've tried to give some practical advice in this post, honestly in the same way that someone who goes running for the first time probably isn't immediately training for a marathon, I'd also seriously argue you don't need to worry about technical ability on your first story. Or your second. Or your third!
Your first job is deciding if you actually like writing, same as with any hobby you might try. It's playing around with things and experimenting, because if you do like writing, that's what will make your writing your writing over any prescriptive guide you might read about writing craft. It's taking a stab at a story idea you had and seeing what happens.
My first pieces of writing were technically terrible. This is an example of my not even first piece of writing, but near the start of my journey:
I posted it back in 2018 with comments on how I would improve it with hindsight. I maintain it's an excellent example of the fact that writing is a skill you build over time. I know you know that. But I think there's a difference between intellectually knowing that and seeing it in action.
I hope this helps!
Good luck and try to have fun <3
76 notes · View notes
Text
Not every character is meant to be likeable: Jake Disventure Camp.
Tumblr media Tumblr media
So, as of late I've been seeing people dislike and be annoyed at Jake and like... yeah! He is meant to be exasperating but I don't think that's bad writing at all.
Meanwhile I would absolutely never call Disventure Camp a perfectly written show I will say that it has had very good character writing with having delivered some high notes on both of the previous seasons so now I wanna talk about Jake's writing in All-Stars.
First of all, Jake's writing? Very consistent. Jake's title was the naive one and yeah he is naive. He is paranoid as hell, he is gullible as sin, he is easily tricked by others, he is so easily manipulable to the point of characters pointing that out and all of those traits have been consistent with Jake through his seasons. The newest trait found was Jake's jealousy over Aiden but that jealousy was born over his paranoia and naivety which are both part of his established traits.
Tumblr media Tumblr media
Also, something to be mentioned is that just like Ellie, James and Riya he has a context and background for those tough edges. We know that Jake's family life is not the best both from the show and from extra material, we also know that he was in a toxic relationship that he later got cheated on which was the breaking point of the relationship. Living with a family that you feel that you're always waiting for a mess to happen, which is implied his parents don't accept his homosexuality, would have easily made someone paranoid which now with a toxic relationship and one of the actual worst things happened to him? Jake is always waiting for something bad to happen and when that bad thing happens he thrives in his own victimization. Meanwhile this was seen in his season this has been more focused on the latest season and not only that but it has been less sympathetic towards him how easily he falls into those spirals of negativity.
Jake has had a lot of focus on All-Stars but also he is one of the characters that has his arc not be resolved at all, just like how Alec, Aiden and Gabby didn't have their arcs finished on their seasons by having other characters take priority over them. Now it seems they're taking their time to finish almost all the arcs they didn't give a proper conclusion to.
Tumblr media Tumblr media
Now, I will say that I don't adore how he is a grown ass man being coddled by women which now Ashley was used for his development even though I know a character like Ashley wasn't made like Grett or Jake where they really thought of making them deep characters. It's still no excuse to have a female character that had already not had a lot of time to shine just be a stepping stone for a male character but it has a reason for it even if I dislike it.
Is Jake a dislikeable character? For some people? Yeah, he is very much dislikeable but also the traits he is disliked for are things that are written to be traits you see as negative. You're not meant to say: "Oh, yeah. It's fine that Jake is a stupid dumbass that gets clouded by his feelings at any moment." because it's obvious that his arc is overcoming those flaws in his character.
Tumblr media
You might find Jake dislikeable and that's alright but I don't think that's bad writing, it's also not wrong if you like him since not only is he an entertaining character in his own messiness (which is that messiness why I find him an entertaining character) but he is a sympathetic character with what we know of him.
You're not meant to like every character, sometimes characters start dislikeable and you're meant to see them grow out of their flaws which after the tenth episode of All-Stars it seems that's where Jake is going.
Ever so often you have to take a step back and ask yourself: "What are the creators trying to convey with this story? Is it me not liking certain traits of a character an intended outcome?"
106 notes · View notes
projectbluearcadia · 4 months
Text
[P2] Film-Worthy
Tumblr media
NSFW Lucifer x F!MC Spice Rating - 3/4 DON'T BURN YOURSELF
[ Part 1 ] [ Part 2 ]
Lucifer is a dirty pervert, and that's why I love him. Story CW: Restraint; Degradation; Whipping; Humiliation kink; Mention of Public Sex
Wordcount - 1800
smutty notes (consult if you haven’t read my smut before.)
"Relax; I was teasing," he chuckles, nursing his hand through your hair. "You don't have to sound so anxious. I'm not going to do anything you don't give me the go-ahead for."
---
"Do you want to... Do the really hardcore stuff to me?"
"Hm..." Lucifer squeezes you a little tighter as he watches the couple part on awkward terms, their misunderstandings of each other starting to edge into the spotlight. "Well, I am a sadist, and I would be lying if I told you I didn't enjoy the thought of restraining you thoroughly, teasing you, maybe even degrading you. Maybe a few warning smacks with my riding crop." Lucifer chuckles. "But I think about holding you in my arms and making love to you while you call my name with a sweet voice just as often. Does that answer your question, honey?"
"Yeah... I think so," you reply before he nibbles on your ear. "Are we even going to finish this?"
"I'm just teasing you, darling," Lucifer chuckles, and you feel his soft tongue dart out to give your neck a lick. "Can't I do that when we're watching a dirty short film?"
"I asked because something back there has risen, and it's not the shield hero."
"...what?" Lucifer asks, clearly only half-getting the joke, and you realize vaguely that only Levi would be familiar with that reference. "Nevermind. Just stop me if it makes you uncomfortable." Yeah right, you think as you squeeze his thigh. Like I could stop you, much less want you to.
You're already at the second sex scene as Lucifer runs the tips of his long fingers under your waistband teasingly, tracing down the front of your underwear.
"Hgnn! Oh!" the female lead cries, so lewdly that for a moment you worry the brothers are downstairs. In hindsight, they're not children, and some of them have engaged with much worse, but... "Pl-Please don't! Don't write that!"
Of course, the male lead does it anyway, painstakingly writing his name in thick, black letters on her thigh with permanent marker.
"I could do so much worse than this," the male lead replies in a heady whisper, grabbing a tight hold of her hair as he starts moving inside her again with agonizing slowness. "You're already in this far, so don't pull out now. You may have me wrapped around your cute little finger in public, but I'm the one in control here. And you love it."
"Look at her twitch, MC," Lucifer chuckles. "How much do you want to bet our lovely actress was actually having passionate sex with the actor behind the scenes?"
"L-Lucifer!" you protest, in part because he's been circling your clit without actually touching it for the past few minutes.
"Ah, I didn't mean to ogle another woman's pussy, my jealous sweetheart..." Lucifer kisses your temple, and it somehow feels condescending. "Yours is infinitely more beautiful with the way it sucks me in and gets all swollen after I'm done like it wants more... I'm sure it'd look even prettier if it started drooling white." You're tempted to say something back, but he's finally decided to press into your clit. 
“AH!” you yelp as he pinches and massages your little, sensitive nub. Fuck yes, I’d love to be drooling white anywhere, everywhere… you think before you catch yourself. If you told him that, he would snap instantly and rail you in every position he could. And although that… is really tempting, you do not want to make a baby by accident. 
“Hm?” Animalistic sounds echo onscreen as Lucifer keeps nursing your clit. “Honey, don’t you believe me? Have you ever known me to lie to you about things like this?” 
“N-No,” you grind out before you cry out in surprise as he pulls aside your underwear and works two fingers into you, his palm pressing hard against your stiffened and throbbing bud. “Hgnn! Ah!” 
“Sh, sh,” Lucifer chuckled, pressing the fingers of his other hand against your lips, slowly pushing past them until he’s rubbing your tongue with his fingers. “Be at least as quiet as the movie, sweetheart…” He moved his fingers back and forth, gently prodding the back of your tongue like he wanted to test if you would gag. “We wouldn’t want anyone waking up because you were too loud.” 
“Mmph… bastard,” you hum, nevertheless turned on. “You say my name really loudly when you cum.” 
“Oh, I’m a bastard now? I’ll take that as a compliment unless you want me to punish you.” Lucifer rubs against you, his hard outline insistently throbbing against your lower back, whining for you to throw away all sense of decorum and beg for it. That option is getting fairly tempting since Lucifer added a third finger, and the way he’s rubbing your walls is making you squirm with pleasure. 
He keeps building you up and up and up, and just as you’re finally at your tipping point… he takes both sets of fingers out of you, leaving you wanting and annoyed. A thin string of saliva lands against your mouth, down your neck, and a faint cold feeling tells you that your fluids got a little smeared on your lower belly on Lucifer’s way out. 
“Dammit, you bitch!” you protest, turning around on his lap to find him smirking up at you. “Is there ever a night where you don’t edge me!?” 
“Someone is being very mouthy with me,” Lucifer chuckled dangerously. “Did you forget how to respect your master?” 
“You’re the one with a pact,” you retort, dragging your hand down his chest to graze over his erection, and he gives you a nice shudder, his eyes filled with lust. “You obey me. You do what I order you to do, and you can’t do a damn thing about it. So hurry up and make me—” Lucifer kisses you ferociously before you can finish your command, smirking as he grinds you against him. Apparently, he can do a damn thing about it. 
“I think I told you when I made a pact with you…” Lucifer says, drawing circles on your thighs with his fingers. “...that it meant I was claiming you.” 
“And you said ‘please give me an order, master,’ when I left you alone for a little bit,” you retort, causing him to kiss you again like he was annoyed. Nevertheless, his face doesn’t show an ounce of irritation but instead adoration and possibly even worship. 
“Yes, I did,” he admits, stroking your cheek. “Though right now I’m feeling very possessive… I had to excuse myself from a meeting with Diavolo the other day because I was so distracted by thoughts of you.” Your eyes widen. 
“You… Did you do that at R.A.D.? In the middle of a meeting?” Lucifer blinks at you a few times like he doesn’t understand the question. 
“Do what?” 
“Y’know… beat it.” 
A long, awkward pause fills the room despite the movie mumbling in the background, and Lucifer breaks into a smile before he laughs into your shoulder. 
“MC, just what do you take me for? I’m not so desperate that I’d masturbate in the middle of the day. Even if I were, I have you to do that for me.” You feel your face warm as Lucifer’s chuckles continue, especially because you feel like you’ve just outed yourself. You’d be lying if you said you hadn’t been lingering a little too long on how Lucifer suddenly pinned you against his door last week and fucked you with your legs wrapped around his waist. You’d also be lying if you said you hadn’t had to make a trip to the bathroom to clean yourself up in the middle of a class because of that. “MC? Don’t tell me…” 
“Shut up!” 
“You really are a naughty girl,” Lucifer chuckles against your ear, even as you pick up the silky sound of his tie slipping away from his neck. “You should call me for that, honey… so I can teach you better.” 
“Ah?” you yelp as Lucifer clamps your wrists together in one hand, his other maneuvering his crimson tie around your wrists. He pushes you down onto the sofa, your bound hands raised high above your head. “T-Teach me better?” 
“I can’t have another demon smelling you,” he purrs as he kisses down your neck, pulling your shirt and bra up in one fell swoop, exposing your soft skin to his prying eyes. He leans down lower to kiss your left breast, his tongue swiping up towards your nipple to gently flick it as he toys with the right in his fingers. “Especially not when you can make faces like that.” 
And a wicked thought crosses your mind. 
“Then maybe just for you, I should film myself masturbating and send it to Diavolo,” you reply. Of course, you’d never do that, but Lucifer seems to think otherwise as he turns you over onto your stomach, smashing your face into the cushions. You realize as you feel his body tightly pressed up against yours, his breathing uneven against your neck, that you might have pushed his buttons a little too hard.
“Oh, we could do better than that,” he growls against your ear. “I could have you bent over on the conference table, screaming and crying for me like a good little whore.” Lucifer squeezes your hips tightly in both hands, actively dragging your pants down as he digs his fingers into the fabric. “This is your only warning, MC. Don’t play that game with me unless you want it public.” 
You feel a chill ripple down your spine. He’ll do it. He’ll fuck you in the most embarrassing way possible if you make him too jealous. The thought is just as sexy as it is scary, and an adventurous part of you pushes the thought to the side as a button you might push much harder later.
“...I’m sorry,” you whisper, getting more aroused by how pathetic you sound, and Lucifer’s breath stutters before he nibbles on your neck. 
“Good girl,” he rasps, funnily enough at the same time as the male lead in the film. He licks the back of your ear, making you yelp in surprise. “Shh, shh… try to stay quiet.” You finally hear the click of his belt. “You don’t want me to stop again, do you, honey?” 
“Motherfuc—” Lucifer grabs the back of your neck, making you trail into a whimper. “...no, sir. I’ll be quiet.” 
“Exactly,” he whispers, and you can feel his smirk against your lower back as he pulls your pants down to your knees, jerking up your hips as his veiny cock rubs against your inner thigh. You squirm under him, eager. “That’s exactly what I thought.”
And, onscreen, the female lead screamed her lover’s name.
65 notes · View notes
pastel-charm-14 · 4 months
Text
dealing with academic burnout
hey lovelies! if you're feeling burnt out with school right now, you're not alone. here are some tips to help you push through and finish strong!! (long post incoming :))
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
BREAK IT DOWN -
big assignments can feel overwhelming, so break them into smaller, more manageable tasks. instead of "write a 10-page paper," think "write an outline," "research for 1 hour," "write the introduction," and so on. this makes the workload less daunting and helps you make consistent progress. it's also helpful to keep track of those smaller tasks in a list.
BE REALISTIC -
prioritize your tasks and set achievable daily or weekly goals. don't try to do everything at once. make a to-do list every day, and highlight your most important tasks. this helps you stay organized but also it feels really good to check things off your list :) for example, aim to complete two math problems instead of the entire set, or read one chapter instead of the whole book, and see where it goes from there.
TAKE BREAKS -
in order to be productive, you need to rest your mind!! try the pomodoro technique: work for 25 minutes, then take a 5-minute break. after four cycles, take a longer break (15-30 minutes). during your breaks, do something completely different from your study activity. get up, stretch, grab a snack, or go for a quick walk outside. it's refreshing for your mind and body.
STAY ACTIVE -
physical activity helps reduce stress and improve your mood. so you should aim to get at least 30 minutes of exercise a day. this could be a workout, a yoga session, or even just a really fast walk. if you don't have much time, try putting short bursts of activity in throughout your day. for example, do some stretches or a few jumping jacks between pomodoro cycles.
GET SUPPORT -
talk to friends, family, or a counselor if you're feeling overwhelmed. sometimes, just having someone listen can make a huge difference!! if you’re struggling with a particular subject or area, try forming/joining a study group or seeking help from a tutor. working with others can give you new perspectives and helps with loneliness.
Tumblr media
HAVE A HEALTHY DIET -
your brain needs proper fuel to function at its best. try to eat balanced meals with fruits, veggies, whole grains, and protein. avoid too much caffeine and sugary snacks, because those can lead to energy crashes. keep a water bottle with you and make sure you're drinking enough throughout the day to keep your energy levels stable.
GET ENOUGH SLEEP -
pulling all-nighters is going to affect your concentration and memory. go for 7-8 hours of sleep each night. get a bedtime routine in place to help signal to your body that it's time to wind down. this could include stuff like reading a book, listening to calming music, or doing some mindfulness exercises. avoid screens at least an hour before bed, because the blue light can interfere with your sleep.
REWARD YOURSELF -
give yourself something to look forward to after completing a task. a favorite snack, watching an episode of your favorite show, or spending some time on social media, really anything that makes you happy. rewards reinforce your positive behavior and make studying feel more manageable. for example, tell yourself, "after I finish this chapter, I'll take a break to watch a funny youtube video."
STAY ORGANIZED -
keep track of deadlines and dates!! it will save you so much stress!! use a planner, calendar app, or bullet journal to log all your assignments and exam dates. you can also color code by subject/priority to make it easier to see what needs attention. review your schedule often and adjust it when you need to.
GIVE YOURSELF SOME LOVE -
it's okay to feel tired and stressed!! be kind to yourself and remember that you're doing your best. if you need to take a break, don't feel guilty about it. self-care is just as important as academic achievement. try some mindfulness or meditation and just take a moment to ground yourself.
hang in there, you've got this! just a little bit more to go and it'll be all worth it in the end. 🫶
65 notes · View notes
thephooka · 4 months
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
youtube
Happy Webcomic Day! My webcomic White Noise is a labor of love--according to Procreate, this page took me 15.5 hours to complete.* Here's a look into that process!
Some other notes:
The thumbnails are done on graph paper and I script while I do them--there is no separate written script for White Noise. I usually spent a couple hours on weekends as needed thumbnailing, sometimes at a coffee shop or at home listening to records.
I then set up the file in Photoshop, so I can lay in the text and use the template I have with bleeds already set up. The text is rasterized and I shuttle the file over to my iPad via Airdrop.
The bulk of the actual work is done in Procreate, which records timelapses that I sometimes share to my Patreon. I usually spend a couple hours most nights after my day job or on the bus commuting doing this.
Once everything art-wise is done, I shuttle the file back over to my desktop to re-set in the text, add a stroke around the speech bubbles (Procreate doesn't have that took fsr) and do the resizing/exporting for web.
On Sunday mornings I get up, queue the page and write the page descriptions. I don't spend any time on the page descriptions outside of that.
Also, this process goes for the whole first arc of White Noise. I'm done with that arc (which means you can binge the whole thing I'm js!!) and am experimenting with some different methods these days, but my workflow is still generally the same.
*Some more talk about the labor (and burnout) involved below the cut:
This particular page (and most of the pages I did in 2023) took a lot longer than normal because I was heading into a burnout period that I'm still lowkey in/recovering from. It's obvious to me now in retrospect watching the timelapse here and seeing how much noodling I'm doing and how much I'm struggling with the process, but at the time I was just very frustrated generally. When I'm not burned tf out pages take maybe 10 hours max.
2023 was a pretty stressful year--lots of big life changes, uncertainty, pet death, health issues--so it's no wonder it propelled me into burnout, but it just goes to show that even the slowest and steadiest pace is not sustainable forever. I've been doing one page a week following this general process for over a decade! And I stuck to that pace because I knew it was one I could maintain. But even so, by the end of this arc I found myself working more and more slowly, not really looking forward to the work, feeling anxious about being behind, unhappy with the finished work, and extremely annoyed with myself for not being able to give it my all right there at the finish line.
I did stop for a while after the epilogue and took a more or less complete break from drawing for about a month--the longest I have EVER gone without drawing, much less working on White Noise--which did help, but these days my ability to work is...inconsistent. I should probably take another total break, but I'm reluctant. What if my passion never comes back? What if people forget about WN? It's already pretty obscure, and with the general social media collapse, it's harder than ever to get people to read my work. Now that I've left Hiveworks, WN doesn't even get the benefit of being linked to other comics (although objectively very, very few readers actually got referred to my comic that way.) And frankly, I'm also just too proud to go too long without comic updates. I've always told myself, I might not be the best artist or the fastest worker or make a popular comic, but I'm consistent. Difficult to let that go.
This is all to say that webcomics are hard. We do them because we love them, we have stories to tell, we are seized with the human compulsion to create. We spend hours of our time, almost always on top of the paying work that allows us to eat, to make something that we then give away for free. It has consequences on us that the reader doesn't often see, no matter how careful we are about it. If you ask me, webcomics deserve to be valued more.
Happy Webcomic Day! Read webcomics!
54 notes · View notes