#but i might write abt it or use some of those experiences and emotions to inform writing abt other heavy topics

[angelsdean]

this isn’t really directly related to anything but just something that’s been on my mind for a while which is. that it’s hard sometimes wanting to write abt certain topics or themes that you do have some form of experience with but also you don’t want to have to come out with a list of all ur past experiences and traumas just to be taken seriously or considered valid or “allowed” to write those topics like. this is an issue not just in fandom but in larger literary spaces that has cropped up in recent years with the push for own voices stories, which i def think own-voices stories are Very important and crucial !!!!! but. it’s done something to fiction spaces where people now play this game where they like demand proof that a person is Allowed to write abt certain things. and it forces a lot of writers into a tough position where they either have to out themselves re: sexuality, gender identity, experiences of abuse or trauma just to justify writing those topics, or else their work will be deemed as “not valid” or not real representation or whatever. like just using sexuality as an example but lots of queer stories might be written by seemingly “straight” authors who just are not out yet or are still discovering their own sexuality. i think we can both uplift explicitly stated own-voices stories while also enjoying stories that have been well written / researched but where the authors have not explicitly come out as having directly experienced such topics. i think it becomes really harmful when we become obsessed with policing who can / can’t write certain topics or themes and no one should ever feel like they have to come out abt anything in their lives to justify their creative works 

[infiniteorangethethird]

I've been wanting to put my thoughts abt my experiences as a loveless aroapl into words for a while now, and finally I got the chance to sit down and actually write out all my ideas. Obligatory I don't speak for the entire community and these are just my personal experiences; long post ahead.

First of all, there could be many different meanings to the label loveless, depending on who is the one using it. To me, loveless means that I literally do not experience love, that I do not experience the emotions other people seem to define as love. I do experience strong emotions (though some loveless ppl might not, which is also completely valid), but I identify none of them as love.

The reason I've decided to use the loveless label for myself is because after watching people around me for a long while, I've come to the conclusion that I just simply don't feel the same way about other ppl as they do. I hear my friends talk about how much they missed me after we don't see each other for a while, about how much they wish we had more free time so that we could meet more frequently. I see my long-distance friends with whom we only get to see each other once a year desperately trying to find a time we are all free so that we could meet. I get invited to outings with friends before we even have a plan of what we want to do bc to them, the fact that we're spending time together is more important than what we're actually doing.

Thing is, I do enjoy spending time with people. There are a lot of things, activities, that are more fun (or just straight up made possible) if done with others instead of alone. I also enjoy the safety having a network of people around you can give. But at the same time, I've never really felt any pull towards specific people. I enjoy spending time with people in general, but my interest is a lot more directed at the activities we do together and the general concept of not doing it alone instead of the people involved. At the end of the day I don't care much about who those people are, so long as they are decent and aren't actively ruining the experience.

That isn't to say I'm an asshole to them, though. I know very well that friendships (and relationships in general) require a certain level of care in both directions, usually involving spending time together, and just generally being there for the other. I do want my friends to be happy, I do want to make them happy, but it's not really out of an emotional desire to make them specifically happy, rather a more general inner drive to be good to people. I will put in the effort to socialize, to spend time with people, to listen to them and be there for them emotionally bc I know that's what it takes to maintain a relationship, but it's always going to be somewhat impersonal and more I do out of duty than out of an emotional drive to get closer to them.

And yet, the fact that the general population does seem to have this emotional drive while I never felt anything like it made me feel for the longest time that there was something wrong with me. That not feeling the correct way about my friends is making me somehow evil for tricking them into thinking I was actually their friend, and not some kind of monster who was just using their kindness against them - and it's hard not to feel that way. We live in a society that assumes and constantly reinforces the idea that not only is love the purest emotion, but also the only thing a relationship can be based on. Any relationship that doesn't have love at its core is worthless or meaningless, and if you deliberately enter a relationship as a loveless person you are a bad person and the relationship is inherently toxic. It doesn't matter what you actually do, or what feelings might motivate it - if it's not out of love, it's bad.

In this framework, being loveless means no matter how hard you try, you will just never be enough. It isn't enough to be kind or generous or caring, you MUST love the other, and if they find out you don't, there's a really good chance they will take it as a personal attack and break contact with you, even if before they called you their best friend.

It was this pressure that made me pick up the loveless label. For too long have I felt like I wasn't doing enough, like I was missing something, like I wasn't trying hard enough to feel love. I kept beating myself up over not feeling the correct emotions, but unsurprisingly, this did not make me more capable of love. It just made me hate myself for the way I existed. But the moment I accepted myself as loveless? All of that pressure was gone. I learnt that emotions don't inherently make an action morally better or worse, and that at the end of the day, it doesn't matter what you feel so long as you do the right thing. People don't actually see your emotions, only your actions.

Of course, I still struggle with making and keeping friends. Turns out it is rather difficult to maintain a relationship when you don't have an innate drive towards people; then put on that extra layer of autism and low empathy and you got a recipe for disaster. Still, that doesn't mean I don't try, because I do want to be around people, and I do want those people to be happy to be around me, even if it means I have to put in the extra effort to connect with them that to most ppl comes naturally.

I know this turned out to be pretty long but I wanted to elaborate on these thoughts to give them justice as best as I could. Loveless is still a label most people either don't know or are very confused about, and I just hope I could shed some light on the experience for those who are still unfamiliar with it.

I'm open to answering (good faith) questions, but please remember that I am still just one guy and can't speak on behalf of the whole community.

(Other loveless ppl, feel free to add on your own experiences as well, I'd love to hear about them!)

[cabinetduo]

ctubbo characterization master post

Ok so I was thinking abt ctubbo and characterization and how a lot of the fandom doesn't rlly have a solid grip on him (no shade its not on here mainly) whether it's bcs of lack of interest or exaggeration and like fandom lense or whatever (he tends to kinda get fucked ovr in ensemble fics) and then I thought well we talk abt scary nuke violence tubbo vs uwu beeboy or whatever but I was thinking there's definitely more to it then that bcs sometimes when I'm writing even I'm super insecure abt my portrayl of ctubbo so ig this post is kind of like a breakdown using some of my fav ctubbo things for me that could b useful 4 others as well

(This might b a little unorganized and like unprofessional-!!i will misspell and abbreviate a lot srry!!-but it's tumblr so who cares just don't expect too much cohesiveness I am writing this to get my thoughts out mostly

[DISCLAIMER!! most of this is my personal interpretation of ctubbo seeing as that's what ctubbo is mostly, what u interpret him as, but also its a bunch of notes and common traits that I got from awesome ctubbo fans and I'm mainly making it 2 help me :) < I'm not linking canon examples and evidence bcs I'm lazy and fuck that alsooo I'll mainly b focusing on ctubbo individually and not his relationships and such

ctubbos humor

I'm gnna start w ctubbos humor and irony and that kinda stuff. So like w ctubbo and characterization a lot of times ppl will take traits or speaking habits from the streamer and apply them to the character which is common in the general mcyt fandom but w ctubbo it's esp common bcs of cctubbos whole "ctubbo is just me but if I was put into certain situations" which we've kinda moved past seeing as that thought process worked better in the earlier seasons before ctubbo was morw cctubbo and less a result of his circumstances, his experiences, and ctubblings drawing lines between things << this isn't my main focus rn tho there is a huge distinction between cc and ctubbo

To get to the point ctubbo is a pretty serious dude but also he's not, there's a fun middle ground that I like where ctubbos humor has definitely become darker as he's aged bcs of his circumstances. One of the best examples I can thing of is this line from elegy in eleven bars by ssootsprite

^^this definitely portrays ctubbos humor well imo, the dark irony and humor that often stems from taht fact that ctubbo will sometimes jsut do what he finds funny but usually those take form on a smaller scale if we want an actual cohesive character

ctubbo swiss army knife

Ive made a handful of posts abt this but one bit abt ctubbo that is often missed is the fact that he's been dehumanized throughout his story which led to him internalizing it not seeing himself as a person entirely, more like a tool for others or a means to an end. I love love dsmp au fics but something some of them miss out on is ctubbos urge to serve others which stems into two branches that I call safety and self

When in a dangerous situation or around someone that he's deemed dangerous ctubbo will instinctively shift to politeness and servitude occasionally its his follower instinct<<this is bcs of manburg specifically cschlatt though it was really instilled to him by cdream after the whitehouse fight (where he called him a follower) and the disc saga finale (called him a sidekick). This happens sometimes in canon but enough times for it to be a full blown like, thing my fav explanation of this is augustus evergreen by thatweirdguyinthebushes on ao3

The second facet "self" is more deep, it's ctubbos actual beliefs, that he's not worth anything if he's not doing something or his tendency to work as a means of avoiding emotion. He doesn't see himself as a person or a child, often forcing himself into the roll of an adult to meet a goal of serving others (his nlm presidency) < this also comes from Manburg but can also be tied to my fav quote "a good kid and a better spy" (not gnna go too into ctubbos spy mentality bcs that's a whole other essay LOL) after being repeatedly handed jobs that are not meant for kids, responsibities much larger than him, he internalized all of it and tied it to his self worth and how he sees himself

Fav FAVVVV example is this poem and art

by @/yellogazello which gets the point across by whacking u ovr the head w emotion and some ctubbo aesthetics that rlly do well 4 his character -> also I made 2 web weaves on all ^^^this if ur interested also I've got a bunch of analysis on it in #smpanalysis bcs it's my fave ctubbo is kind of naturally a follower but this isn't always a complete negative (see: the way he comfortably follows Tommy or the way he and Tommy willingly followed Wilbur- it isn't always an 100% bad thing but over the course of his life it's kind of been tainted

ctubbo logic brain

Tubbo "logic braining" something =/= him thinking logically it's him and his fucked up process that filters things through his weird logic that would make any stable person worried, his brain does flips to rationalize his own and others thought processes to make them make sense to him, it's the same kind of thinking that is responsible for his "safe people" its the same kind of thinking that makes him blame himself for things that were clearly out of his control. While ctubbo is often seen as a more "brain lead" character, most, hell, all of his core motivations are emotional >> the need to protect his loved ones, his people, the innocent, to live upto expectations, and so on. This ties into his protective sort of paranoid nature that he displays toward his loved ones that is sometimes misconstrued as controlling

A lot of ^^^^^ this can be tied to ctubbos relationship w attachments and belongings which is one of the dsmps overall themes, ctubbos logic being that attachment is irrational and only leads to being hurt but forming attachments and getting hurt against his better judgment

ctubbo and the nukes

One thing that is often lost in surface level depictions of ctubbo is the nuke plot. This is often used to characterize ctubbo as violent or immoral (which I won't deny he can be at times) but one key detail about ctubbos nukes is that they were always a last resort, no matter what he threatened or said he never ever wanted to use them, constantly emphasizing how crazy it was that he had access to so much power and how terrified he was of misusing it in the missing nuke stream w jack. ctubbo has always always been a peaceseeking character. Like w most things abt ctubbo there's a nice middle ground, though tubbo leans less towards chaotic and more towards solemn, esp when at an emotional low

The nukes hold a lot of symbolism for ctubbo and are often presented as an antithesis to the bee symbolism used for him > the nukes being him becoming more violent and straying from what is deemed moral as a defense mechanism, becoming worse than your enemies (stay soft by mitski etc) and the bees representing his innocence and the loss of it (a common theme w ctubbo and on the dsmp in general) tying to the more nature-y imagery that become professional/political in late s1 & 2 which then became technologybased and cold in s3 & 4

ctubbos emotional intelligence

Another thing that a lot of people miss about ctubbo is that he has very veryy little emotional intelligence. Post-Michael kidnapping and arguably pre-Michael kidnapping there was this (mildly popular) notion that ctubbo was together emotionally to the point where there were a lot of misunderstandings surrounding his actions but the thing is he isn't. When it comes to himself ctubbo is aware that he is effected by his trauma (he will often make references to it) but he never does anything about it, he views it as irritational and tends to compartmentalize and repress his emotions which often leads to him hurting himself and others. ctubbos responses to emotion range from pure apathy to overwhelming him to the point of tears (which we've seen once w the anniversary stream) He's also not very good with recognizing the emotions of others, while he is good at reading people and their intentions (mainly people he has close relationships with) he is generally extremely blunt sometimes to the point of hurting other people's feelings on accident which he usually apologizes for immediately afterwards. In fact, ctubbos bluntness and politeness are a fun contrast to experiment with if you're interested

With all of ^^^this stuff dissonance by shrugofgod does a rlly good job of this I'm just putting a small snippet but the entire fic is incredible w sm details and ctubbo intricacies it's so good

ctubbo survival and tragedy

ctubbo has survived a lot especially in comparison to other characters he is close to << that was badly worded, what I mean is a lot of the people in ctubbos life have died/were dead/are dead and he just isn't. Tragedy is a large part of ctubbo, if something is going right for him it will inevitably go wrong, things like stability don't exist for him, he doesn't trust it and why should he? His paranoia has consistently been proven to be justified over and over again. Dramatic irony is such a huge part of him, he's experienced so much and has survived through so much but its like he can't die and he has to live everytime.

I made a webweave abt this that pust cqs firey survival next to ctubbos cold survival, I think i do a better job explaining in the notes of that

And this post which is the best thing I've ever posted is basically a bunch of super talent tubblings who've written poetry abt this topic (and other ctubbo stuff but mainly this) if u wnna check it out

Most of these things can be heavily elaborated on (nature of the dsmp is to have incredible fleshed out characters that feel human and awesome and that make u crazy) but this is kinda a summary and I have others posts that kind of do that I just wanted to put all this in one place

More stuff ⬇️

This post is a succinct and well put ctubbo explanation/summary and a fave

And this post is wondas god tier dsmp characterism breakdown that will save ur life if ur a writer

This post is a fic recs post that has a lot of epic awesome dsmp writers but a lot of them write ctubbo bcs I'm biased

And finally here's a link to tubbo3091<3333 which a roleplay blog that has the most perfect ctubbo characterization ever in the world

[ourflagmeansgayrights]

yeah my tl;dr opinion on the second billboard is that it’s gonna have very little impact on making us more visible and probably very little direct impact on our chances of getting renewed, but if it makes some ppl feel like they’re doing something then i don’t rlly care bc it’s not my money. that being said, i’m a little worried that the second billboard might end up hurting the general ofmd fandom’s morale more than helping.

elaboration under the cut bc this shit got long

so the ofmd fandom has already caught the attention of the media, we have new articles being written about us pretty frequently. hbo/wbd is also facing a lot of public backlash for their continuous cancellation of tv shows, especially diverse shows, AND they are specifically getting a lot of shit abt refusing to sell coyote v acme. they have a lot of money to gain via tax write-offs from shelving thay movie and refusing to sell, but refusing to sell ofmd isn’t gonna make them that kind of money. so public pressure + financial incentive combined, there’s a pretty good chance of wbd selling ofmd to another studio.

ironing out a deal with netflix/apple tv/amazon+ is gonna take time tho. from a fandom perspective, it’s already been be a very long, very demoralizing waiting game, and personally i would be surprised if we’re even halfway through it.

so there are two things at play when it comes to the fandom giving djenks et al the best chance of securing the best deal for this show: maintaining visibility and maintaining fandom morale. obviously visibility is more directly affecting the negotiations, but morale is important in keeping as many ppl in the fandom active as we can during this gravy basket of a waiting period.

so the question is, how does the second billboard serve those goals? will it maintain or increase our visibility? will it boost fandom morale?

before i get into the second billboard tho, i wanna talk abt the first billboard.

i think we can all agree that the nyt billboard boosted morale: cast and crew were posting about it, djenks shared a selfie in front of it, the energy on ofmdtwt and in discord servers and here on tumblr was very hopeful and excited. it was an emotional high point that i think we’re all kinda missing as the weeks drag on and we approach the two-month mark since the cancellation.

but did the nyt billboard increase or maintain our visibility? more specifically, did it increase or maintain our visibility to a degree that was proportionate to the amount of money spent?

i’ll be honest, i don’t know the answer to that one. i don’t know much about advertising or about tracking ROI for things like billboards and flyover banners. i think, though, that any significant increase in visibility came not from the billboard itself, but from the social media response to the billboard. the excitement of seeing cast and crew talking abt the billboard had us all hyped up and posting/tweeting in our excitement, and that got us trending. the livestream of the billboard probably had an increase in viewership, which i’m sure is something that gets tracked somewhere. and i’m also sure wbd execs were aware of the billboard, and djenks tagging netflix, apple, and amazon means those executives were definitely made aware of it, too

but i’m doubtful abt how much the nyt billboard raised our visibility outside of a few ppl in the streaming/entertainment industry and outside of the ofmd fandom. there were already articles being written about us by that point—did any publications decide to write more articles abt the renewal campaign directly because of the billboard? did the campaign for s3 reach the general public? did site traffic to the petition actually increase? did anyone on the streets of new york or LA actually follow the link/qr code/whatever to learn more about what was being advertised?

on twitter, at least one person who had been supportive of the renewal efforts and who claimed to have relevant industry experience said that the return-on-investment from the billboard/truck/flyover was shockingly small, meaning that for the amount of money that was spent, we should have received more site traffic, more social media buzz, more mainstream awareness than what we got. this is not me saying the ofmd fandom was scammed—the people who donated money were told what the money was going to be used for, and the money was used exactly as promised. but the criticism was that if the goal was to increase our visibility, perhaps the money could’ve been spent differently.

so that’s the nyt billboard: successful at raising morale, unclear exactly how effective it was at increasing visibility. now for the london billboard, located on the vue cinema on leicester square

first, a few things about the site of the london billboard: the ad space being purchased is not, as i have seen claimed, on a hugely iconic billboard and venue. arguably, it is not even located on leicester square. the giant billboard is on a budget movie theater that is right off the corner of leicester square. people have been confusing the vue theater with the odeon theater, which is an iconic landmark in the middle of leicester square where movie premiers happen and where many tourists stop to take pictures. from what i’ve seen (and heard from various uk fans), the foot traffic by the vue theater is not really comparable to the foot traffic at the location of the first billboard.

so, billboard 2 and visibility. the question of if this billboard increases visibility of the campaign, whether that be via successfully advertising to the people walking by or via generating social media buzz.

the thing with the foot traffic issue is i’m honestly not sure how much of a boon the high amount of foot traffic was to the first billboard. bc honestly, how many pedestrians pay attention to billboards enough to actually check out the thing that’s being advertised? probably not very many, hence why there was criticisms that the billboard yielded a low ROI. if there was any increase in our visibility externally (by which i mean, not within studios or within the industry, and not within the fandom and other ppl already aware of the existence of the renewal campaign), it most likely came primarily from articles and social media buzz.

i personally am doubtful that the second billboard is gonna generate the same kind of attention online. the location is less flashy than the first one, david jenkins probably isn’t gonna fly over to london to take a selfie with it, and simply the fact that it’s a second billboard is gonna decrease the energy in how ppl respond to it. like, we already did this in a very famous tourist location. now we’re doing it again, only it’s around the corner from a different, slightly less famous tourist location. the surprise and excitement we saw from the cast and crew will inherently be lessened when we pull the same trick twice. that might also extend to media coverage—how many times do we think journalists are gonna cover the same media stunt pulled by the same general group of people? there is a possibility that the answer to that is only once.

but, to be fair, i did say that visibility was only one part of the equation. the other important thing was morale and keeping the fandom’s energy up, something that is going to get harder and harder the more time passes without us hearing any news.

a second billboard is definitely one way of tackling that issue. fans can meet up at the billboard, post selfies with it, hang out. it’s kind of a cool thing, to see a huge sign on a billboard and know that it was a bunch of passionate fans put it there. and we already know that the first billboard had everyone pumped. more than increasing visibility, maybe this is the primary goal of the second billboard: to hype up the fandom.

i worry, though, that it’s not going to hype up the fandom in the way people are hoping for. like i said, i doubt we’re going to see the same outpouring of excitement from cast and crew that we did the first time around—even already some of the actors have said to the fandom that it’s not worth it for us to spend our money this way. and even within the wider ofmd fandom itself, i would not be surprised if fans just aren’t as excited by this second billboard simply because it’s the second billboard. already, it seems to me like ofmd fans who aren’t directly contributing to the renewal campaign aren’t responding as enthusiastically to this billboard as they did the first one—there’s a question of why it’s necessary, what it’s going to accomplish. so a less encouraging response to this billboard might make a lot of people feel disheartened, disappointed.

and christ, that’s not even mentioning the fact that that almost every time this fandom is trending, there’s a wave of “ofmd fans kys” sentiment that is quick to follow. i have long ago accepted that suicide baiting as a regular part of my internet experience, but most people have not (and frankly, they shouldn’t). a lot of people just will stop posting about ofmd if they get attacked for doing so. if that happens, it is 100% going to negatively impact the renewal campaign and our chances of getting picked up by a different studio.

even if none of this happens, even if the morale is boosted tenfold by the new billboard, i just feel like there are other ways to keep the energy up without crowdfunding ridiculous amounts of money. we already have samba gradually doling out bts content in tiny doses and catapulting us through the roof with each one. i’m also a fan of what AdoptOurCrew is doing on twitter, sharing articles and info and coming up with silly little games to play with their followers. it’s not a huge stunt like a billboard, and it’s not gonna get us on the front page of a huge pop culture publication, but we already have a pretty consistent stream coming in of articles mentioning ofmd and the renewal effort. also, yes, what aoc is doing is not the huge adrenaline high of the nyt billboard, but this is gonna be a marathon, not a sprint. there are a lot of ofmd fans, so if we just keep the general fandom feeling reasonably good abt posting ofmd content, that’s more than enough to keep our online presence consistent enough that studios will know we’re invested in that s3. but if we keep chasing highs we’re gonna burn out fast—at the very least just bc ppl are gonna run out of cash.

that’s what my concern comes down to, really: the money. because to me, the use of actual real-world money should go towards boosting visibility, and boosting morale can come from simply engaging in the fandom, doing fun projects, spreading positivity. and i am very, very doubtful that this second billboard is going to increase the show’s visibility to people who aren’t already aware of ofmd and what’s going on with the renewal. i understand that the idea was to capitalize on s2 airing on the bbc–a good idea, but if the intention is to reach this new audience, shouldn’t the ads should go somewhere they’re going to be more visible, more inescapable? the underground would’ve been a good choice, imo, bc the cell service down there sucks and ppl have no choice but to stare at the walls while they wait for the train. but this might have been less effective at boosting morale, because it’s less flashy and a significantly worse place for fans to meet up. so it’s about what the priority is here: is the money primarily for boosting morale, or boosting visibility?

like i said, i think prioritizing morale-boosting is the wrong choice. and even if that wasn’t the intention, i think that’s the only thing that’s gonna be affected in any way by the billboard. but like, that’s why i didn’t donate to the crowdfunding for this billboard (or to the first one tbh). bc ppl can spend their money however they want, even if i think it’s a waste. currently the average donation to the SaveOFMD ko-fi is abt £34, or $40. i’m not gonna get that worked up over a few hundred strangers online spending $40 for something i think is a waste. ppl spend all sorts of money on stuff i think is a waste. who cares.

if everything backfires and the billboard ends up hurting the renewal campaign then… idk. i hope if it blows up into drama that the drama gets to be funny, at least.

[tea-and-finalfantasy]

some more thoughts abt characters in nsfw imagines being "ooc" and why we shouldn't worry about it BUT ALSO how to branch out/what tips to use to do so if you'd like, especially if you run an ask blog and are writing for other ppl's hcs or desires and not just your own

also discussed some in-relationship characterizations of bi-han, shang tsung, and raiden as examples! and we're operating under the assumption that these are "healthier" instances of self-insert asks (meaning i mention providing aftercare here for example which might not be important to an ask/scenario where the relationship is supposed to be fucked up)

long post/tldr at end although of course i recommend reading the whole thing ^^;

on one hand, ppl shouldn't be so concerned w writing characters "in-character" for imagines or fics bc ppl are writing them to achieve an end

ppl want to showcase emotions we don't see in canon (so they seem "ooc" bc we don't see the characters going through those things often or at all)

ppl want to see their faves doing things they're into (so when an ask is sent, it's not with the intention of asking if a character would do it or not, it's asking for content of the character in fact doing that)

plus nsfw content isn't like? an "is it in character or not" deal bc it's kink. we shouldn't have a standard for who "looks like they'd be into this" or not bc it's not about appearances or how ppl usually act--it's abt trying out different roles and having fun and getting needs met and so on

and in a fictional setting where ppl want their faves to be into what they're into, why would you not write that happening? you don't have to jump through hoops to "prove" a character would act the way you want them to and you don't have to put up with other ppl saying a character wouldn't do something just bc it's not their personal hc

but on the other hand, i think ppl should also consider, if they want, what would get a character to a certain point

quoted from another post of mine:

it’s not the act that’s “ooc” bc that’s how you get “x person is a bottom and x person is a top and i just know–” rather than like. you cannot and should not look at someone and assume something about them physically, how they act, etc. is indicative of their sexual preferences

yeah i know it’s just in fiction here and not irl but god it’s so fucking grating to hear “oh this character wouldn’t bottom” (like not even sub! someone is stating they will not get fucked in the ass bc they’re “too tough”) bc you’ve created this binary of who does what act all the time, who’s allowed to do what–

as opposed to living a little? having fun with fiction? imagining what a tough and gruff character would be like in a vulnerable state and how they got there? what they’re like giving into desires they probably feel they’re not supposed to have?

SO USING BI-HAN, SHANG TSUNG, AND RAIDEN

regardless of how gruff and cold bi-han is, i don't think he'd waste time putting up with someone he didn't enjoy spending time with. sometimes he's civil, sometimes he's not, so tempers would flare but overall, i don't think he'd hate someone's devotion and kindness and/or refusal to let him put them down

same thing with shang tsung where he'd surely enjoy someone interested in his work but he also be interested in someone who takes no shit from him

i don't see it "ooc" to have a self-insert show kindness or disagreement and for either to be a deal breaker based on personality alone

i think they're characters that both need some form of kindness and care (just bc they range from... misguided or power hungry to cruel doesn't mean that cruelty is expected in turn as a form of love UNLESS? it's havik in some iterations at least LOL)

so to assume it's not appreciated would be incorrect--

the point is to discuss their reactions to it, how they'd respond "in character" and you could go so many routes too! the fun part is to experiment!

you could write them both somewhat flustered by such appreciation, unsure how to return it as the feeling is genuine but it's been a long time since they've felt something like that. felt cared for or felt genuine love for someone else that wasn't based on what they could get in return

you could write them learning to express delicate emotions and vulnerability, learning to care for someone else experiencing hardship or grief or yearning and desire. yes it's tinged by their personalities

like if someone got hurt, bi-han would be like -barely masked anger- don't worry they will be dealt with/shang tsung would be like haha i will dissolve their living flesh in acid and you can watch if you like :)

but if their s/o doesn't benefit from that kind of violent response, it's about exploring how they learn to do what works in the relationship (while also being like ok i can kill them but how do i make dinner for my lover so they feel better. how do you fucking cook)

in terms of sex and kink, it's fine if it's not your personal hc for them to engage in x/y/z thing but if you're answering a request and don't have like. an obvious disclaimer abt what you do well or like to write/what you don't write, it can feel strange to just ??? not do it properly LOL???

but again, it's not that a kink is "ooc," it's just that maybe the set-up seems iffy? obv its from personal standpoints and it doesn't really matter but i'm assuming that's the hang up ppl have sometimes? that they don't have the hc but then slip it under the guise of "oh i don't think it's in character" which lapses into the "this is what i think a top looks like/this is what a bottom looks like" which gets problematic

with bi-han, someone could write him in desperate need of a break and easily taking on a submissive role with someone he trusts bc it's what he needs. he's exhausted and stressed and expected to be strong and tough all the time and needs the help

on the other hand, someone could write that with the expectations of being tough, of being the perfect grandmaster, he feels he's not allowed to be vulnerable or submissive or humiliated and enjoy it. he's not allowed to be anything but in control all of the time and he struggles greatly in learning to lean into the pleasure he wants

with shang tsung, i personally think he'd see life as for one's own pleasure and who is he to deny himself playing around with roles and control? experimentation is in his nature after all

but i can see him acting the same as bi-han--feeling so much pressure to appear always-in-control that he doesn't know how to let go even though he wants to

and the hang up would never be distrust of a partner either unless you're going for that dynamic. wanting to try out things and simultaneously being anxious over it isn't something they'd take out on a partner as it's their hang ups, not the offer of something new by someone they trust

sometimes some things get a pass--like sex toys might be mutually used, they might seem as commonplace as condoms and lube--while other things--D/s dynamics and not just being on bottom/moaning a bit louder than usual, anything more involved in terms of set-up or equipment, etc.--might take a lot of work getting used to

it definitely isn't easy. even with both parties trying their best, there are long breaks and tense emotions, extensive aftercare and days of subdrop despite everyone's best intentions

some sessions go well and others don't. they get anxious and nervous again, sometimes when it's something entirely new and sometimes when it's something they'd done before, just because they don't feel up to it that night

with anything, it's a process that involves up and downs and dialogue that seems "ooc" just because it's not what we hear in canon (whether that's due to it being sexual in nature OR bc it's vulnerability from characters we merely see as powerful and controlling or vulnerable in terms of anger) and writing that, exploring that, being "there" for a character in a fictional setting is what makes things fun and interesting!

in a less emotionally charged setting, if we take raiden for example, i don't think it's right or possible to assign in-character or out-of-character to kinks but we might do so depending on if how they act in-scene or post-scene doesn't feel "accurate"

so the "ic"/"ooc" assignment isn't (or shouldn't be) based on if you think raiden should or shouldn't be a dom top but if you think how he's acting in regards to it feels "accurate--" especially when the acting part of the scene is over!

in my opinion, raiden seems generally fair and level headed so if he were to punish someone, it wouldn't be with bi-han's kind of fury. maybe he'd have his moments of over-zealousness, getting overexcited (which isn't a bad thing by any means) and getting mouthier, aiming more for humiliation or chastization than calm firmness, but whatever route you go, i think it's in the post-scene/aftercare that's where you find your "in character" characterization

he'd dote and be concerned, even if his partner says they're fine, he keeps a list of things they might need or want to do afterwards, he's shy about discussing sex outside the realm of a scene, even if he's having it nightly, and talks quietly, does a lot of cuddling, asks if he did well

if a piece/answer doesn't have aftercare listed, which is understandable and it's just written/no one is expected to write anything/if you're going for an unhealthy dynamic you could understandably have certain characters straight up not providing it, but if it's intended but not written, it just might feel ooc when the scene cuts off bc we only see the play-acting

i also think some ooc-ness can come from the opposite end of the spectrum where, considering aftercare for example, our knowledge of what's important to provide to real life ppl contrasts with what we think the characters would do--either out of inexperience, sexually or with scene heavy content, or due to their everyday personalities

but again, the important thing is not to shoot down ideas but to explore how would a character deal with this unfamiliar thing?

shang tsung has enough (actually legit) remedies at this point to make physically healing easy but he's unsure how to comfort someone who's crying even if he knows he can't leave them like that

bi-han's not good with words and either needs to learn some scripts or rely on what he's best at if it works for his partner. he can soothe bruises well and can literally cool things off but he might gravitate most towards just holding his partner as hard as he can and then refusing to be distant from them even by inches (always managing to hold their hand while using his other hand to do whatever else) until he's sure they're okay

raiden worries he's researched it too hard and that he asks too many questions but wants to make sure he's not overlooking something especially out of a lack of experience. he probably lapses into topdrop and doesn't even know it's a thing, doesn't know he's allowed to need the same comfort

so in general/as tips/a tldr

there's no such thing as a sex act or kink being "in character" or "out of character" bc it's an action, not inherent in the personality

so many of these are personal hcs but this is about finding what your hc is--not abt assuming there's something "ooc" about a kink just bc it's not yours or yours associated with that character

the in character/out of character debate probably (hopefully?) comes more from forgetting that sex/kink can be like a game/can involve acting and pretend--that it's not a stand in for someone's actual personality

and when there's vulnerability that's real that seems "ooc," it's probably because obvious we're not getting characters engaging in kink scenes in canon. even if they experience vulnerability, some characters do while others don't. it's narrative based, it's main characters (getting introspection) vs side characters (not having time or desire for it). exploring something not shown in text isn't inaccurate

if you have asks open, you can write as you please BUT ppl aren't sending stuff bc they think you're gonna say it's "ooc." they're asking bc they like your style and want to see what you've got based on their ideas. it's fine to not write things for w/e reason but don't pretend it's bc u have the "correct" hc and they don't

if you want to explore it, this is about discussing what would get a character to a point where they'd act a certain way? what happens when they experience something new or unfamiliar or something that affects them in a difficult or overwhelming way? the "ooc" aspect isn't the "what," it's the "how"

but it also doesn't matter what's "ic"/what's "ooc" bc we all have our own intricate interpretations anyways AND are often writing these kink things bc it's what we wanna see. of course the characters are gonna act how we like or in ways that we need

[theblurrysystem]

took those questions from one of the "system ask games" and answering them here. why? bc i wanna answer them, i dont wanna wait for asks, and you cant stop me /lh

🥀 - do you keep track of your alter count? how do you do so?

yeah we do! or at least try to. we personally have done it through journalling and using simply plural. we mainly use sp now, as journalling is more so for communication / vent / memory purposes. current alter(+fragment) count at the time of writing this is 85.

🫀 - do you have non-human alters? what species are they?

yeah! just over half of us are 'non-human', but that varies from part human (fae, hybrids, mermaids, etc) to full animals (cat, fox) and even objects.

🍄 - when did you realise you had a complex dissociative disorder?

i believe the body was 13? eh ill say 13-14 years old, as a bit of a range because there was about a year and a bit of researching and tracking symptoms and whatnot before we really understood / knew we had it.

📻 - do you experience amnesia?

yes a lot. whether it emotional amnesia or grey outs, or forgetting day-to-day things, yeah. a lot of amnesia can happen with switches, though its rarely black-outs for us, and sometimes we have amnesia even when there hasn't been a switch.

🥩 - who was the most recent split?

for personal reasons, not gonna answer this one <33

🦴 - do you have an innerworld? what does it look like?

oh my fuck, we could make a whole post about our innerworld and all the different areas. we do have an innerworld, and its existed for as long as i can remember. its changed over time and some places change how it looks daily, but we can make a whole post about it all.

🦷 - what’s a fun fact about the current fronter(s)?

ooooh a fun fact abt me. i would sayyyy, i named myself after a character in a fanfiction <3

💀 - is your system more overt or covert?

covert. when we're with people we trust and feel safe with, we present more overtly. however with day-to-day, its definitely covert. our switches can be smooth, or sometimes we straight up leave the room and have privacy. we all tend to mask, even if its just a little bit. if you knew we were a system, you might be able to catch a switch here or there. but i think thats only if you know what you're looking for.

🍷 - does your music taste differ from alter to alter? how?

a bit, yeah. mostly all of us kinda like alt or indie music. some of us love musicials while others dont. skye, she fucking loves raps, while others cant stand rap music. some like more heavier music, while pretty much all our syskids like soft songs. we have different playlists on spotify that haven't been updated in months </3

🦇 - do you have any friends with CDDs?

yes we have one with a cdd <3

📺 - are you “heavy” with any type of alter? (e.g. syskid-heavy, introject-heavy, etc.)

we are non-human (57.6%), and 'brainmade' heavy (65.8%). were the percentages needed? ofc not. did i still spend 20 mins figuring it out? yeah.

if you have any questions abt our system, or want us to do another of these (if we can find another) just let us know!

- clem (she/her)

[shittygaypornmagazine]

Jsyk I was shaking while writing this

Oh my god, I’m back boo, disclaimer tho. Anything and most definitely everything will not make any sense, BUT THINK THATS THE POINT. Honestly this might just be a rant. I honestly don’t know any way that I could interpret Casey’s segment other than the way it’s already written, because the out of all the things that got to me from Casey’s segment, was that none of what he was feeling made any sense. He could define his jealousy and despair but yes, he could not explain why he felt that way in any form that would make sense. THAT IS GRIEF, BUT YOU VALIDATED IT SO PERFECTLY, like I thought I was the only one. Because for some reason it does feel like your missing out on something, and it gets so frustrating.

There is something so unique about this kid that just makes be want to stop existing so that he can take my spot (in a very positive way).

I think what separates Casey from Nardo even if they have the same time displaced experience, is that Nardo knows that he is (was) the future. Of course Jr comes from the same year he does, but he spent his entire life being told that his surroundings weren’t what they were supposed to be, and he wasn’t meant to grow up the way he did. I feel like It’s best and it makes so much of the sense it’s not supposed to if Casey is not defined, and only acknowledged for what he is. Because his life transcends time and space, his heart and mind break the barrier meant to keep both aspects of his life separate. People can say that he comes from one and now living in the other, but he is a unity of both, and I can completely get how he feels like isn’t bound to anything but himself.

Omg, the way you explained it was so real, despite his isolation he finds a way to coexist with the circumstances and acknowledges his displacement even in the simple things he does. Learns to live with and become aware of his emotions. That little segment really got to me and every time I read it I wish that I could gift you my heart and mind so that we could somehow find a way to discuss it or just feel it further. Like a ninja mind meld but with emotions as well. I CAN’T EXPLAIN IT, I REALLY WISH I KNEW HOW THO.

Just know that if you read Casey’s segment again, everything conveyed in those letters I cried over because yes, you get it, I get it, and our poor beloved Jr gets it (even the stuff he doesn’t get because, yes) That’s all I can say and I have no idea if this will give the same weight as all of the other things I’ve flooded your inbox for. Just know I have a tissue box near at all times because of you, YOU’VE ROTTED MY BRAIN, Idk if there’s anything left to rot boo ╥﹏╥

THIS KID IS SO ME CORE. I will never forgive the universe for not giving me a chance to cry the ugliest tears with him and share them together. HE DESERVES COMFORT AND HAPPINESS, he is my beloved.

THANK YOU for the insight on the daddy with a shotgun situation btw, it makes me love the fact that the trope is switched between father and son so much more like- (ಥ﹏ಥ) YES JR, GET THAT BITCH (I swear, I love Yuichi too)

I love and appreciate you so much boo (´Д⊂ヽ

-If you can, listen or read “Glide- Mitski” the cover, I think- it just- KBADGHIGKNVFD

(Jr with a shotgun real)

OMG I MISSED YOU MY BOO I'M SO GLAD TO SEE YOU (⁠┛⁠✧⁠Д⁠✧⁠)⁠)⁠┛❤️

I guess there's two of us shakers now cuz I am literally unable to read any ask abt Full Lair without having to take a moment to walk around the room in excitement or flap my hands at a compliment but YOUR asks are a whole lot different case and I have to clear out my schedule for at least the next three business days to recover

anywizzle!

I am feeling so many feelings about you getting the feelings that Casey is getting to feeling because we're all feeling the same thing, and just like you said, you get it.

especially the thing about knowing the feeling and acknowledging it but still not being able to understand why is it still there because honestly that's one of the first things that fucked me up when I first encountered grief.

cuz like grief it misinterpreted a lot but what is it if not loose thread of someone's lifeline, sticking out of your life like out of a corner of a completely new t-shirt? it's not supposed to be there. you're not supposed to feel it. it's out of place. and yet here you are, staring at it, unable to shift your focus to anything else because it touches your skin and ruins your look, even if no one else is aware of it.

sorry, got into rambling again.

so, Casey! baby boy Casey, oh how I love him! honestly the whole "shovel talk" being switched is just so funny to me because imagine this 16 year old in his battle gear appearing out nowhere Just To Talk 😇 (the dude can literally terrifying when he wants to be, just look at his mask). especially considering he grew up listening to Nardo tell him stories about his exes. I mean Usagi REALLY should check where are his swords cuz Jr is not playing games.

only hokey.

anyway, I had something else to say, but I don'ts remember what exactly, so just. THANK YOU FOR EXISTING, BOO 💕

AND LISTEN I HAD A MITSKI MARATHON A COUPLE OF DAYS AGO AND I DIDN'T GET TO THIS SONG BUT NOW I DID AND I LOVE IT SO MUCH?????

[butterscotch-brigade]

thinking about your post urging people to reading various genres and content and to challenge their reading skills... and i agree with you so much i definitely think it can strengthen one's reading comprehension and broaden prospective. like even if the quality isn't good or the genre isn't your thing, it can be a fun experience to read something outside of what you're used to. your post just makes me think how nice it can be to just read and gain anything, whether that's maybe knowledge or new queries, out of something new.

also i have to ask do you have any book recommendations? :)

YOU!!!! YOU GET IT!!!!!! one of the many values of reading is what you GAIN from books, and how you can apply that to ur life - whether its philosophical/existential questions or entertaining moments or parts that made you emotional in some way. even if you didnt like a book, walking out of it with the feeling that youve gained/felt something new or intriguing is its own reward.

and as for recommendations.....i have to say my favorite genre is definitely murder mystery, and my favorite author is agatha christie!!! the queen of plot twists imo. her books can be offputting to some bc a lot of the time her books dont always open up with the murder itself; many chapters are dedicated to the events LEADING UP to the murder in order to provide context and drop hints. not all of her books do this, but i can see why some people might become impatient when reading some of her work. that being said, my favorite book of hers had got to be the murder of roger ackroyd, but i also love the abc murders and hercule poirot's christmas.

as far as standalone books go, one book ive been devouring recently is i'm glad my mom died by jennette mccurdy, an autobiography about a former child actress who faced considerable abuse both in her home life and on set for some of her most famous works, most notably "icarly" and "sam and cat." its a hard read that contains descriptions of abuse, eating disorders, trauma, and child exploitation (sometimes sexual). ultimately, though, it becomes a book about healing as she describes life before and after the death of her abusive mother. mccurdy's writing style is so creative and snarky and clever, with some dark humor thrown in. not for those sensitive to the discussed themes, but definitely an engaging read.

i would also like to recommend a book that ive recommended to other people in my life before: penpal by dathan auerbach. this is a horror novel with themes of stalking, death (both humans and animals), and kidnapping. it originally started as a series of short stories online before being published as a full book. i dont want to talk too much about it bc i dont want to spoil anything, but its one of the most suspenseful and chilling stories ive ever read. highly recommend going into it blind bc it hits so much harder when u dont know whats coming.

finally, and this is a VERY different and more unconventional choice, i strongly recommend reading calvin and hobbes. it was a newspaper comic strip that ran from 1985-1995, and it was what inspired me to start drawing and writing stories in the first place. there are several books and collections containing various comics from the strip's run, and theyre all fantastic. they will make you laugh, cry, and think. i know what youre thinking: "how can a newspaper comic be so good?" but trust me, TRUST ME, its one of the most inspirational works of art i have ever come across. without calvin and hobbes i likely wouldnt be where i am today, it literally changed my life. please read calvin and hobbes i am BEGGING you.

theres a LOT of books i love but i am currently living in an apartment farther away from my hometown, where i have a bunch more on my bookshelf. so sorry if these recommendations arent extensive enough i dont have access to my actual Book Supply akskdkdkd

thank u for letting me talk abt books!!!!! have a wonderful day/night/etc and always remember to keep reading :)

[throughtrialbyfire]

"infodump abt ur ocs" you say?

I'm sorry in advance, you've just opened yourself up to being my sounding board for all the stupid thoughts I keep having about my dumb little stories.

--If Ardwe made one slightly different decision and raised Antoriel herself, she would die worse in an even more miserable place, at the hands of the same person. Their relationship would be so hot-and-cold and Antoriel so emotionally unstable having to deal with her untreated mental illness, she wouldn't even know it was a possibility with a knife to her neck. She would find that to be a normal Fridas evening until it was far, FAR too late.

--If Sigvi's mother had made one slightly different decision and stuck out her marriage instead of leaving, Avalanche would have never happened. Sigvi would have never decided to study restoration magic, and she would have far less pity for an enemy. She would have left Antoriel at the foot of the mountain to die, she wouldn't have even done him the kindness of killing him off the rest of the way.

--If both those mothers made those differing decisions, Avalanche would have kicked off with Ardwe getting the axe and Antoriel fleeing into the Rift to meet Sigvi. Mannior would be the main "antagonist" hunting them down for most of it, but it would turn out he wasn't doing so to turn anyone in, he's also in some very hot water, and can't operate without someone who has a backbone propping him upright. He just wants Antoriel to be his stand-in self worth, given Antoriel has plenty to go around.

The real problem would actually be Sigvi's brother who was a character I cut outside of a brief mention in Avalanche. He joined the Empire where Sigvi (and her two other brothers) would side with the Stormcloaks. He wouldn't be evil, he'd just be pressured into compliance after the Thalmor realized the family history.

--If Mannior finds a way to survive after the conclusion of "Ardwe" don't expect to ever hear from him again. No matter how thrilling a tale you might think it would be to hear of his escape from consequences, I assure you, it is not. He's not going to reflect on his behavior, he's not going to uphold his current beliefs if it creates any amount of conflict for him wherever he goes, he's not even going to spend money on interesting things. He is an unseasoned boiled potato of a person, and I pity him the most of all my characters.

--If I could go back in time, I would try harder to fit in my "Orcs working the debt to society off through military conscription" arch instead of plopping them in at the end of Avalanche like I did. Ushra was supposed to be more of a foil to Ardwe to show she isn't without positive traits at all, and I would have set up an emotional expectation via Garlub for people who had previously read Avalanche that would have made Mannior feel all the more pathetic for anyone coming back to read "Ardwe"... If that makes any sense.

--If Antoriel didn't decide to fight Ardwe at the end of Avalanche, Anja would have still been born. And if I was unsure I wanted her gone, I would have explored what pregnancy does to magicka reserves and use simply because I find the idea of hormones interacting with magicka to be a fascinating thought experiment, and pregnancy is one of the most wild (temporary) hormonal fluctuations a person could go through. I think it would make someone's access to magicka go into crazy extremes one way or the other and make using it very dangerous, for the record.

--I hate trying to come up with Altmer names, and always have. Deciding to write a Thalmor fic wasn't the biggest mistake I've ever made, but it certainly felt that way when I had to come up with a billion Altmer names for it.

I've had more pointless thoughts nobody has asked me for, but I have forgotten them. I hope this distracts you, as confusing as it probably is.

SHAKING YOU. never apologize for rambling!! i love when ppl ramble at me, it's always welcomed here!!

do you know how much i love the butterfly effect of "this decision caused a billion other consequences/decisions leading up to one big consequence" concept. it's literally one of my favorite things and this is SO fucking cool.

"He is an unseasoned boiled potato of a person, and I pity him the most of all my characters." i love that so much, i have several characters who can be summarized by the mantra of, "i will never change, i will never improve, that is a promise". i think it can actually make for an interesting character, knowing that they aren't going to change, no matter the circumstances or their escapes from circumstances, and what that does to them or the situations they land in afterwards.

parents making decisions that echo down to their children is something i love seeing. the consequences of family decisions, trauma, or just "what if this went differently" is always a thrilling thought experiment when writing or coming up with new directions to take stories!! i'm hoping to incorporate a bit of that into how i write athenath's relationship with his mother, whatever tiny strain of their relationship remains.

i'm shaking your hand on the whole "if i could go back in time and change this detail". i wanted to incorporate emeros being a hunter and skilled at skinning animals/tanning hide, as it's very important down the line, but i couldn't figure out how, so random wolf event happened. it's the way it goes when you're writing, and all you can do really is work with it the best you can! i understand entirely, wanting to set up an emotional payoff you feel would have been better than what happened is such a real experience aughhhhh

ohhhh i love the idea of hormones having an effect on magicka reserves/magic in general! that's such an interesting concept to play around with, especially with the idea of it becoming very dangerous. that lends itself to all sorts of ideas on what aldmeri/bosmeri/dunmeri pregnancy would be like, or any situation where hormones were involved, such as transitioning or hormonal disorders, or even puberty and how that would impact magicka for someone!

relatable, making fantasy names can be such a nightmare, and knowing there's such a huge amount of already canon altmer names can be so exhausting because it's as though all options are taken. it's a challenge for sure, and i'm always impressed when people have a bunch of altmer ocs!!

i'm eating all of this up, i love reading about people's ocs and i'm always always down for infodumping!! thank you for sending this!!

[olivyh]

Overblot angst hcs bc I’m stressed from national exams

ALSO MUCH OF THIS HAS BEEN DISPROVED BY CANON, ITS JUST SOME SPINOFF HEADCANNONS THAT I THOUGHT WOULD MAKE SENSE

also feel free to add stuff if you’d like!!! i love reading other people’s theories!!!!!!!!!

ANOTHER THING BEFORE WE GET STARTED!!: If anyone wants to write a fic based off this pls do im begging im desperate for some good angst

TW: This gets vv dark at times, going in depth abt acidity and just general bodily harm type stuff, also some psych horror towards the end

-It causes a short circuit of sorts whenever the victim tries to use their magic, whether it ends up in the magic coming out as too much, or not at all

-They can’t control anything, even the most basic of spells can go haywire in a second. their magic has been thrown off balance, trying to go back to the fine line it was balanced upon, the fine line that was built on years and years of experience, growth, and practice, but that line was sliced the moment they overblotted

-Now, they’re lucky if they’re ever able to perform an elementary spell again, let alone their UM

-Their magic also causes physical pain to use after a while

-Speaking of pain, the victim will be incredibly sore if lucky, if unlucky it can result in torn muscles and broken bones from the transformation process

-The amount of mental distress can also cause intense headaches afterwards, resulting in the person potentially losing their hearing or sight for moments at a time

-The blot is still accumulated within the body, but it’s being rejected. Due to this, the person will occasionally cough up a mixture of blood and blot. Immediately afterwards, this effect will be more violent and come in the form of throwing up the blot

-it will also leak out of their bodies at every opportunity, coming out of eyes, ears, noses, etc until the blot is at a normal level

-this is including even when they dont want to, such as crying

-this can also cause temporary blindness due to the volatile nature of blot

-If you wanna take it a step further, lets say that the blot would burn the victim inside and out (a prime example of this will be vil’s, due to the poisonous and acidic nature that his blot has shown). This could cause incredibly painful rashes and internal scarring, similar to ulcers, due to the blot eating away at their bodies. The situation is bad if it’s in their stomach or lungs, but heaven forbid it ends up in their bloodstream somehow

-Or even worse, in their brains

-Imagine it eats away at parts they need. Their memories? Their abilities to read, write, speak? Their senses? The part of their brain that controls parts of their limbs? If it gets into their brain, and they lose those parts of them, what could they do?

-Furthermore, I think that immediately afterwards they could not physically get up. They’d be in a concussed, coma-like state

-Not to mention the ‘monsters’ that form behind them. We know that in Chap 6 it goes a little bit into what they really are, but do those monsters ever go away? -They physically might, but their essence is within the blot. and the magic user is stuck with the blot for as long as they have magic

-the ob victim could hear the monster’s growling, its gurgling, a roar at any given moment. but can anyone else hear it? not at all. is it all in their head, or is the monster a part of them now?

-they could also experience a lack of emotional control afterwards due to the amount of energy going into the overblot, leading to intense mood swings and meltdowns in the months after an overblot

-this can also be present in their abilities to stay awake, with their energy being constantly sapped in trying to control their out-of-control magic as well as their fluctuating emotions

-The physical effects, the mental stress, and the guilt combined, its not surprising to see many post-ob victims driven to insanity

-of course, many of them are kept within the STYX headquarters, trying to rid themselves of the aftermath

-Many can recover, but its a long and grueling process

-even decades afterwards, many great magicians who have experienced an overblot will find themselves going back to that moment, forcing themselves to stop before it consumes them just as it had before

-you may learn to control it, but the monster never goes away

[deathishauntedbyhumans]

i loved the hunger games novels as a kid.

as a middle schooler, those books felt so important. the revolution at hand, the boy and girl in love against all odds, against everything the world was throwing at them. the world-building spoke to me in a way that all of the books that felt important to me at that time did: it made me FEEL something. i loved it.

i was a dutiful fan. i was a part of facebook pages dedicated to the hunger games books, and then to the movies as they started to come out. i spoke to other fans thru those pages. i made friends in the fandom. i started writing fanfic before i really even know what fanfic was. i loved being a part of that space.

and then the third movie came out.

the hunger games, if you’ll remember, was split into four movies: the first two books had their own movies, and then the last book had two, a la harry potter. (bc every franchise desperately wanted, at the time, to be harry potter.) i watched the first two movies with bated breath, and would chitter away in my little fan spaces after seeing the depictions of my favourite series on a big screen. but the third movie…

i saw mockingjay part one in theatres, and i sat thru it with a slowly building emotion that i didn’t have a name for at the time. i was sixteen then, and something abt the dystopia being shown to me struck a different chord than reading abt the horrors that had, perhaps, been beyond my twelve-thirteen year old comprehension.

when the movie ended, i walked calmly out of the theatre, locked myself in a stall in the bathroom, and proceeded to have one of the worst panic attacks i had ever had at that point in my life. i very nearly threw up. i couldn’t stop thinking abt katniss, and the fear she’d been dealing with the entire movie, and the way she’d hyperventilated her way thru the film like she was running for her goddamn life. (say what you will abt jennifer lawrence, but sixteen year old me FELT that.) it resonated in some very primal part of my brain that i didn’t know how to place at the time. i still don’t, not really. but…

there’s something to be said abt a piece of media that evokes such strong feelings in the young people it was made for. it has been said time and time again, but i’ll reiterate it anyway: hunger games was a VERY formative piece of media, not only me, but for an entire generation of young people. it was a story about hope in the face of adversity, but more than that… it was a story abt ADVERSITY. it was a story that said ‘bad things happen. bad things happen, and they’ll keep happening, and while life might go on… it’s going to hurt.’ it didn’t lie to its audience. suzanne collins looked at the world, looked at the terrible, fucked up state of the world in the early 2010s, and said ‘i know it’s going to get worse, and these kids deserve to know it, too.’ i respect her immensely for that. especially now, in this day and age where everyone is trying to sanitise the experience that children have with the world… it’s refreshing, even if it became too much for me personally at the time.

i never watched the last movie. mockingjay part two came out a year later, and my appetite for the hunger games was no longer whet. however, i did move on to interact with other complex pieces of media, things that evoke complex feelings and emotions in me that i can handle and process in a way that is healthy. maybe someday i’ll revisit it, when i can look at the world and see good instead of the current climate of terrible thing after terrible thing beating down on our generation, and the generations following us. maybe i won’t. doesn’t change the fact that i owe the hunger games something for being one of the first pieces of media i had to interact with critically, for being a force to help teach me how powerful a book series, or a movie, can be.

[chuuyasoup]

heyy so I have a question about writing! I do like writing fanfics a lot and I so have fun writing them, but I always get to a point where I start nitpicking and then find a lot of problems with the plot and in the end I don’t feel like continuing because for some reason I feel like those problems can’t be fixed and then the plot doesn’t make sense and stuff like that. Do you ever feel like that about what you write?

hi, the answer is yes all the time. i have more wips than finished fics for that exact reason and quite a few of my published fics are fics that im still not completely happy with but just wanted to finish and post. i think sometimes u just have to say screw it and gloss over some of the plot holes. i think with fic that's easier too bc a lot of fic is just wish fulfillment and doesn't have to make complete sense on its own anyway. like sometimes ur just writing for the emotional impact. or maybe theres a specific scene u wanted to portray that might require a ton of background and plot building for it to actually make sense, but tbh in my experience most readers dont actually care bc they also want to read abt that specific scene. i used to hold off on writing certain scenarios bc i was like "but ppl are going to want/need more context" but recently ive realized that just beginning the fic directly with the scene i want and writing it without overexplaining works just fine. idk i've never had any complaints.

[transguyedgeworth]

HELLO so u said u wanted headcanons hehehehe ur gonna regret asking /hj

- phoenix has freckles

- KLAVIER HAS FRECKLES

- on the subject of klav he also has dark brown/black hair and dyes it ungodly platnium and sometimes he forgets to dye it so he has his roots showing but suspiciously thats when the paparazzi takes the most pictures

- phoenix has a good many scars from his near death experiences that happen at least once a month

- maya gets fanmail from cody hackins and pearl for being the inspo for the pink princess and she loves it so much

- maya and miles have movie nights together while watching samurai movies,,,,,, they are friends they are family

- fran and miles text All The Time but in like scary email text form because they are Weird

- post timeskip fran has cut her hair like a pixie cut and maya loves it

- miles has a soft spot for amusement parks and he pearl and maya drag phoenix out to go ride rides

- phoenix has a few burn scars from when he fell from dusky bridge as well as a few nightmares... he never really trusts bridges after that

- when he and miles sleep together and one of them have a nightmare miles will fix some tea and talk it out with phoenix or phoenix will hum something to calm miles down

-phoenix is actually really good at singing but sings super rarely but everytime he hears it miles smiles

- unfortunately miles cannot carry a tune to save his life sorry miles

- miles still has letters phoenix sent him after the dl-6 incident and when he went with mvk he has them in a box in his closet

- he also has responses written to each letter in the same box he just cant bring himself to give them to phoenix

- maya and pearl adore pess and sneak so many treats to her - phoenix and miles have matching pjs that phoenix bought because he thought they would be funny phoenix has kinda forgotten abt them but miles wears them often but would die before admitting it

- phoenix has a bunch of pictures in his office- of him and mia after he got his badge, of maya and pearl, of the signal samurai, of trucy at one of her magic shows

- he keeps a few pictures in his wallet- one of them being the picture with maya holding the victory sign with everyone and he swears in a certain light and angle he can see a glimmer in front of them, someone with a scarf and long hair

ok i have so much more but for the sake of ur inbox there u are!!! i love this lawyer series sm it makes me so emotional lol

WAHHH I DO NOT REGRET ASKING AT ALL THESE ARE ALL SO FANTASTIC!!!! i’ll admit i haven’t played apollo justice yet so i don’t know much about klav or trucy but STILL!!!

the scar and freckle ones are always my faves, freckly phoenix owns my entire heart... and all of your edgeworth ones are so spot-on, love the maya + miles friendship they are Besties and honestly him and fran texting like they’re writing emails is so funny and perfect it’s because they’re neurodivergent okay i love them. siblings.

I AM GLAD WE ARE ALL IN AGREEMENT ABOUT SHORT-HAIRED FRANZISKA SUPREMACY SHE DESERVES A LESBIAN HAIRCUT!!! CAPCOM!!!! GIVE IT TO US!!!!!

also listen... your wrightworth ones are so tender.... yes they comfort each other after nightmares. yes edgeworth kept those letters and THE PART ABOUT HIM WRITING REPLIES BUT BEING AFRAID TO SEND THEM. YES. also the matching jammies hilarious and adorable thank you for blessing me. AND PESS. MY BELOVED.

i fucking love the last two... deadass got me teary-eyed but part of that might be the fact that i am Exhausted..... but yeah phoenix is a sentimental bitch and we love him for it.

none of that probably made sense but in conclusion your headcanons SLAP and you are free to send me more if you have them!!! my inbox is barren and i am also emotional about the lawyer game so it does not bother me at all!!

[seerofmike]

The Writing In Apex Kinda Sucks And Also They Use Ship Bait As A Plot Device I Hate It Here

a stupid essay/rant encouraged by @zombiegloss that originally started as a youtube video script so if its like. weird at points. this was intended to be a verbal rant SNZISKSIA

basically i'm gonna talk abt the caustic-wattson-crypto relationship drama and how i think it was mishandled and how much the writers kind of Suck because i Can

you are free to disagree with me on any of my points and think that this aspect of the story was handled well, this is just my opinion, and i'd love to hear your thoughts and counterpoints !

first, addressing some things:

i know this is a battle royale and not necessarily a story-based game, so i can’t expect it to have masterful witcher-style writing.

but with the direction the game seems to be going; putting quests, evolving interactions, and comics in the game, plus coming out with a lore book and hinting at something bigger in the future, i think it’s fair to criticize it for lackluster writing, especially since what i’m criticizing has been something present since Apex’s story technically began.

secondly, i am not a professional writer. i’m a high schooler who writes as a hobby. i don’t have the decades of experience that some of the apex writers do, and i can’t claim to be a better writer than they are--but i also don’t have to be a five-star chef to realize that something tastes bad. when i critique something and give suggestions, i am not saying i could’ve done it better. i’m just bringing up what i think could have worked.

third, before i upset anyone , when i say a relationship is badly written, i’m not telling you that you can’t ship it or that your ship sucks. i’ll briefly touch on the shipping aspect of this and how it’s a detriment to the story but Ye

okay, so with that out of the way, let us Begin

relationships are often the emotional core of a story, and how strong your reaction is to conflict in these relationships depends on how the story sets them up. if you want the audience to care about these characters and what they go through, you need to develop them and establish the type of relationship they have well. it’s why so many people cried in the last episode of telltale’s the walking dead. you’ve spent roughly 12 hours bonding with clementine and protecting her, and your relationship with her is part of several story beats as well as character beats for lee. 

when these two characters’ relationship reaches its peak at the end of the game, it’s powerful, and it’s emotional. you care. you feel something, and the fact that you have to choose what to do to lee only makes it more gut-wrenching. 

now, the walking dead is entirely story-based and especially character-driven, so it may be unfair to compare it to apex, but i just wanted to lay the groundwork down for what i think is a strong relationship that makes you feel something when conflict arrives, in this case the conflict being lee getting bit and clementine having to decide his fate.

the broken ghost in general is kind of not-good sometimes, tom casiello previously wrote for soap operas and you can really, REALLY tell sometimes.

this story feels like it should’ve taken place a little later, and that we should’ve had a season to actually set up the characters and their relationships, but that’s a story for another day.

to put it bluntly, the set-up for the crypto, wattson, and caustic conflict is done poorly. for caustic and wattson's relationship it’s a little better, but not by much. 

wattson and caustic having a relationship was hinted at in season 2, when her lore indicated that caustic was among one of the Legends who comforted her after her father died. In season four lore materials posted on Twitter, an email from Jacob Young states that Caustic is acting paternal towards Wattson. In season five, interactions get added to the Game, and this is the first time we actually see their relationship in action, as they have unique revive voice lines for each other. in the quests, when wattson is injured, caustic lashes out at loba and attacks her out of what seems to be anger at wattson’s current state.

Side Note this plot point was really stupid and done for cheap drama because she literally wakes up like two chapters later and they don’t even give her anything to say it’s just suddenly oh yeah crypto and wattson are working together. the same exact injury thing happens to octane later but nobody gIVES A SHIT because again, it’s just cheap soap opera drama.

their relationship might seem a little bit sudden for anyone who wasn’t on top of twitter lore drops, but like, it’s okay, i guess. i’ll give it the slightest credit for at least establishing something between the two in terms of voice lines and stuff, even if for some it might seem like it came out of nowhere.

what did come out of nowhere, though, was crypto and wattson’s friendship. in the quests, crypto and wattson are tasked with rebuilding the broken ghost because of their respective skills, and they’re seen talking in chapter six while they work on it. we’re not really given a clear timeline on how long the story in the broken ghost is, but i think it takes about a week, maybe.

unlike wattson and caustic, their relationship has been given absolutely zero material to work with before now, not even a passing glance in the trailers--which is a little weird considering crypto took down the repulsor tower and destroyed wattson’s home, but. Whatever.

tl dr of the chapter: crypto and wattson talk to each other while doing nerd shit, crypto laughs at wattson’s bad pun, and then suddenly they’re BESTIEEEES, until a couple dozen lines later in the same chapter. then they’re Not.

crypto’s drone gets hacked by revenant while everyone was kind of on edge after the reveal of a spy in their midst, he gets framed as the spy by caustic, anddddd wattson gets upset.

before i get into how dumb this storyline is, i’m gonna talk about the set-up to this conflict.

we have been given no reason to believe that these characters have ever talked to each other, and quite frankly, their friendship doesn’t really make sense.

ignoring the fact that crypto destroyed wattson’s home--which she probably doesn’t know about, so that’s forgiven for now--crypto is a paranoid guy. in the lore book he makes people stand on fucking footprints in his house so he can scan them for weapons and listening devices, and he apparently doesn’t stick around much after the games and nobody knows anything about him because he doesn’t talk to them.

a key part of crypto’s story is the fact that he is undercover and afraid of anyone finding out anything about him ever. him becoming friends with wattson kind of comes out of the blue, and we’re not even given a reason as to why they supposedly became close in the first place. i would kind of understand if like, maybe he draws parallels with her and mila in his mind and it makes him open up a little more, but that doesn’t happen. he just laughs at her joke and suddenly they’re friends.

maybe they’re trying to go for this ‘wattson can become friends with anybody’ angle, kind of hinted at with caustic but not really we’ll get into that, but that also? kind of doesn’t make sense since so many of her voice lines straight-up say she doesn’t understand people and electricity is more her thing, but honestly, she also does have those really friendly elements in her voice lines too, so its not as egregious as what they did with crypto.

their sudden out-of-the-blue friendship would’ve been fine if they spent a little more time fleshing it out, and giving us something to work with, but instead, the story immediately tries to rip it apart and frame it as this grand conflict where crypto is framed as the mole, crypto then accuses caustic, and wattson feels betrayed.

except it doesn’t really work, because we don’t give a shit. for several reasons. 

one: crypto and wattson became friends and then ended their friendship in the same exact chapter. they did not speak to each other onscreen until this chapter began, you can read the entire quest on the wiki and see for yourself that their interactions up until that point were nonexistent aside from mentions in the narration that they were building something together.

the reason wattson feels betrayed is kind of stupid too. why does she really care that much if one of them betrayed loba? nobody else really cared about the fact that one of them was a spy, in fact, nobody even seems to like loba that much, and they just found out that loba’s been lying to them this whole time, and wattson was conscious for that conversation and had a speaking line, so she’s fully aware of the situation. 

maybe it’s just like, the idea that one of them lied, but that’s still kind of a weak reason. 

this entire betrayal thing is just dumb, and it gets even worse when you realize that there could have been an actual legitimate reason for wattson to feel betrayed by crypto--even if it still would’ve come across as weak conflict because of their newly established friendship, it would’ve made more sense than this. 

Crypto destroyed Wattson’s home. He took down the tower and then all the flyers and stuff invaded Kings Canyon and made it their bitch. Not only that, but Wattson considers the Syndicate her family. The Syndicate are the very people who framed Crypto for murder and he’s trying to take them down. 

They could’ve set up actual conflict with these things, and it almost seemed like they would, because Caustic briefly brings up that Crypto could be working with Revenant because he has something against the Syndicate but then that doesn’t really go anywhere and we’re just back to Wattson feeling betrayed because either Crypto or Caustic was a spy and she doesn’t know who.

Weak conflict could’ve been made better by a strong relationship and a weak relationship could’ve still been interesting with strong conflict, but both the relationship between Crypto and Wattson and the conflict that drives them splitting up as friends were really weak and didn’t make much sense. 

It would’ve been ten times more interesting if Wattson found out Crypto ruined her home, the arena she grew up in, and was now participating in the Games to take out the people she regards as her family. That’s where her distrust could’ve manifested and conflict could’ve began, but instead it was the stupid betraying loba thing. why do you care. you just started talking to this guy like 2 hours ago.

also caustic’s whole reason for framing crypto feels stupid as fuck. he didn’t just frame crypto randomly, he framed him specifically because he doesn't want him to influence wattsob because he likes her Big Brain, but this is the FIRST time we have seen those two interact. 

what influence is he talking about? wraith and wattson have been shown to be friendly with each other in the trailers, according to tom’s tweets, and in the story too so why doesn’t he frame her? at this point the audience had slightly more build-up for those two’s relationship than crypto and wattson and a betrayal storyline would’ve felt a little more deserved if still weak.

this is the point where i briefly want to touch upon shipping, and the fact that part of this conflict feels driven by shipbait. 

aside from their relationship coming out of nowhere and the writers trying to make the stakes seem high and deeply emotional to the characters involved (despite this essentially being the first time they’ve ever interacted) tom casiello literally addresses shippers in a tweet regarding chapter seven, and as the story between these characters progresses, it becomes clear to me, at least that the crypto-wattson thing is just bait for shippers, and it’s lazy. 

it’s easy to get away with giving your characters little to no relationship development if you’re just counting on shippers to do the heavy mental lifting for you

why should i put any effort into making this relationship seem believable? people are going to see a young guy and a young girl having bare minimum interaction and assume there’s romantic interest! then i don’t have to do any work, see look, it’s a ready-made relationship wrapped in a bow for me! all that’s left for me to do is give them conflict so i can keep teasing shippers with lines like ‘you never deserved her’!

i think it’s reasonable for me to suspect shipbait, since tom casiello likes doing darksparks shipbait on twitter, and i’m like, eighty percent sure mirage and bloodhound suddenly being childhood friends in the book is shipbait too, because these characters were the number one ship in apex for a long time despite little to no interaction, and then all of a sudden in the lore book they’re childhood friends despite this literally never being mentioned before?

like bloodhound is set up to be mysterious and nobody knows what they look like, or where they’re from, or who their family is--except for mirage Apparently, who played with them when he was a kid on their home planet, and has seen them with their mask off, because bloodhound did not wear a mask when their parents were still alive.

its weird.

i’m pretty sure they’ve said somewhere they were working on this book before apex even came out, so i could just be completely wrong and they always planned for mirage and bloodhound to know each other, but if that’s the case, why did they never mention it like they did octane and lifeline?

i refuse to believe MIRAGE never brought it up either like ‘heeeeyy bloodhound remember when we used to throw eggs at our parents lab haha wanna go do to that to bangalore’s room’ 

[silence]

‘good talk buddy’

ANYWAYS I GOT OFF TOPIC. POINT IS, shipping is a detriment to the story because the writers don’t feel like they actually have to put any work into establishing or developing the relationship between characters when they know the community’s just going to do it for them anyways, and that they can put in shipbait and it’s fine and it makes sense when it really doesn’t.

imagine watching captain america civil war after not seeing a single other marvel movie.

why would you care about the avengers splitting up or tony and steve butting heads or steve’s commitment to bucky? you wouldn’t care, at least not as much as someone who’s seen all the movies and knows the relationship between the characters and why the sokovia accords exist in the first place. you don’t have context and you don’t have any reason to be emotionally invested in these characters’ relationship.

 this feels like that. the writers tried to squeeze this relationship and stuff into a single chapter and we don’t fucking care unless we were already invested in the idea of their relationship (shippers) because we barely spent any time with it.

so to summarize this little section, the set-up of this storyline Kinda Sucks! crypto and wattson barely seem to know each other, because we the audience barely saw them together and the writers are relying on shipbait in place of a relationship.

wattson and caustic are a little better but not great, but the conflict is stupid and it only gets stupider.

moving onto summarizing the rest of the broken ghost, gibraltar and caustic talk, caustic LITERALLY confesses to being the mole and says he framed crypto so he couldn’t corrupt wattson and to appear innocent because his identity was suspected, then that wraps up the season storyline.

season six begins with new voice lines, where wattson has had enough of crypto and caustic’s shit and is all passive-aggressive and going ‘this doesn’t change anything’. she has to decide who to trust, and how to figure out The Truth for herself because she’s not a little girl anymore. crypto and caustic are both trying to convince her they’re innocent and it creates some interesting conflict.

just kidding. it’s terrible conflict. you want to know why?

BECAUSE GIBRALTAR TRIED TO TELL HER THE TRUTH, RIGHT AFTER THE SEASON 5 QUEST HAPPENED, AND SHE LITERALLY REFUSED TO HEAR IT.

LIKE THERE’S A SEASON 6 LOADING SCREEN WHERE HE’S TELLING EVERYONE THE TRUTH ABOUT WHAT HAPPENED, AND WHEN HE GETS TO WATTSON AND IS LIKE HEY I KNOW WHO THE MOLE WAS AND WHY THEY DID IT, SHE JUST GOES i dont wanna hear it. i need to think

IF YOU WANT THE TRUTH WHY ARE YOU REFUSING TO HEAR IT

SHE SPENDS ALMOST TWO ENTIRE SEASONS MAD AT CRYPTO FOR SOMETHING HE DIDN’T DO BECAUSE SHE TOLD GIBRALTAR TO FUCK OFF WHEN HE TRIED TO TELL HER WHAT HAPPENED

ITS SO DUMB

i think it was towards the end of season 6 or the beginning of season 7 where apex posted this picture of wattson asleep at her desk where she has a letter from gibraltar on it that looks like it tells her the truth, so she knows now, she knows what happened, but NOW her issue is the fact that she doesn’t know anything about crypto.

WHAT THE FUCK. WHAT IS YOUR GODDAMN DAMAGE. YOU DON’T KNOW SHIT ABOUT BLOODHOUND EITHER ARE YOU THIS UPSET WITH BLOODHOUND TOO?? HAVE YOU EVER TALKED TO PATHFINDER. DO YOU HATE PATHFINDER TOO

oh but she was friends with crypto and now she’s mad that he lied to her EXCEPT THEIR RELATIONSHIP WASN’T BUILT UP WELL SO IT JUST FEELS STUPID. THEY SPENT LONGER BEING NOT-FRIENDS THAN THEY SPENT BEING FRIENDS. THEY BECAME FRIENDS IN ONE CHAPTER AND THEN IMMEDIATELY AT THE END OF THAT CHAPTER THEIR FRIENDSHIP ENDED AND THEN WATTSON SPENT LIKE 2 SEASONS MAD AT HIM FOR SOMETHING HE DIDN’T DO . 

AND THE WRITERS TRIED TO RECTIFY THIS BY SAYING OH SHE’S NOT MAD ABOUT THE TRAITOR THING SHE’S MAD BECAUSE SHE DOESN’T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT HIM AND IT’S LIKE WHY THE FUCK DID YOU NOT MAKE THAT CLEAR WHY DOES SHE SAY ‘IT DOESN’T CHANGE WHAT YOU DID’ IN HER VOICE LINES WHY DOES SHE CALL HIM A TRAITOR IF HER CONFLICT WAS HER NOT KNOWING MUCH ABOUT HIM . WHAT DID HE DO. 

HE JUST STOOD THERE AND LAUGHED AT HER JOKE AND THEN HE GOT FRAMED AND THEN THAT WAS THE END OF THE CHAPTER AND NOW SHES SUDDENLY LIKE IM ACTUALLY MAD BECAUSE YOURE A LIAR AND I CANT TRUST YOU EVEN THOUGH I NOW KNOW YOU WERE FRAMED I STILL DO NOT LIKE YOU AND HES LIKE YEAH THATS MY FAULT

The Caustic voicelines are stupid too, again his reason for framing Crypto was stupid and a lot of his voicelines just seem to be that shipbait thing again but like from the angle of overprotective dad who doesn’t like the new boyfriend. it’s stupid but not as egeregious as this next part which is

crypto telling wattson his identity.

CRYPTO was framed for MURDER and is paranoid and can’t trust anyone and doesn’t talk to anyone and the last time he did talk to someone he got framed for Another thing and the person he was talking to turned her back on him and actively refused to know the truth for like 2 seasons and then he went This Is Fine I Can Tell Her My Identity

the stupidest update to this storyline was crypto telling wattson the truth

why did they do it on the dropship where there are presumably syndicate members and other legends around.

why didn’t he scan wattson for listening devices like he did for pathfinder in the book.

why is he telling her his identity when he knows she has very close ties to the people that FRAMED HIM for MURDER. Does he trust her that much? WHY? They spoke to each other in a chapter and then spent two seasons not talking to each other beyond passive-aggressive BS. why are you so fucking stupid taejoon

their relationship was so poorly set-up that even if the writers maybe intended for them to come across as close friends who had spent weeks bonding, it really feels like they became friends in a single conversation, had a falling out, and now crypto suddenly trusts her with his identity after an undetermined amount of time because he wants to be friends again. 

that does not make SENSE this conflict feels contrived AS FUCK and the resolution feels even worse and unearned UGGGHHHH

it honestly comes across as crypto feeling desperate for friendship, and maybe this would’ve worked better if that’s the angle they played it as.

he’s been alone for roughly two years, and just wants a friend, and he’s honestly so lonely he just breaks down to the first person who’s really talked to him. it could’ve been an interesting little part of his character, and they could've gone into depth about how much this situation has affected him, but that’s not what they’re doing. he’s still paranoid and anxious and doesn’t trust anyone, except for wattson, because the plot needs him to or else there won’t be any stupid soap opera drama.

and to rub salt in the wound, wattson’s new voice lines with caustic have him telling her that she forgave crypto.

WHAT ARE YOU FORGIVING HIM FOR. ARE YOU FORGIVING HIM FOR BEING FRAMED? WHY DID HE HAVE TO APOLOGIZE TO YOU WHEN YOU WERE THE ONE WHO REFUSED TO HEAR THE TRUTH?

 did the conversation just go hey my real name is taejoon park and something bad happened to me and she went aight i forgive you WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT

Caustic’s new voice lines to Crypto where he’s like ‘what did you tell her’--YOU TOLD GIBRALTAR STRAIGHT-UP YOUR EVIL MASTER PLAN LIKE A SUPERVILLAIN AND NOW YOU’RE SURPRISED WATTSON AND CRYPTO ARE ON GOOD TERMS NOW?!

THAT’S LIKE TELLING SOMEONE YOUR SOCIAL SECURITY NUMBER AND THEN BEING SURPRISED WHEN YOU BECOME THE VICTIM OF IDENTITY FRAUD. YOU SET YOURSELF UP FOR THIS WHY ARE YOU ACTING LIKE CRYPTO DID SOMETHING SINISTER OR LIED OR WHATEVER. WHAT THE FUCK. WHY DO YOU HAVE LIKE 3 BRAINCELLS

this is at like ten pages already so i’m going to just try and wrap this up quickly. 

it’s frustrating seeing this storyline play out when there are actually good relationships and storylines written into apex. i’m kind of getting tired of the loba and revenant conflict, but we at least had set-up to it in the form of a few animated shorts and it doesn’t play out as stupidly as this story does. bangalore and loba’s friendship is actually developed well, even if the point between the end of season 5 and season 6 where they suddenly talk like each other feels like it could’ve used a little more. 

where crypto and wattson having an established friendship in the broken ghost failed, lifeline and octane’s established friendship works because we’ve been told since octane’s release they were childhood friends and given lore materials that indicate they’ve known each other for a very long time.

apex wants this storyline between crypto and wattson and caustic to feel dramatic and tense and ultimately rewarding when crypto and wattson did become friends for real and stuff, but instead it just comes across as hollow and empty. 

there’s nothing there. it’s a case of tell, don’t show, and it looks like this stupid conflict is gonna keep going for another couple of seasons at this rate. 

side note: this entire script was written before the new twitter comics

please tell me ur thoughts and feel free to respond with ur own lil essay

also believe it or not this is not the "shipping is a detriment to apex's story" essay i was gonna write this is a completely different essay that has some overlap SKXISOSOW

[masked-puppetmaster]

hey, i saw you asked a while ago why dream & techno apologists are apologists for those characters (and you liked a bunch of my posts concerning that, actually) i was wondering if you still have any more questions - and also i wanted to ask if you wanted to talk a bit about c!tommy and what makes you like him so much? like is it just the emotional attachment to him? is it the trauma? anything specific about the way in which he is written? i've always watched his pov & i'm very curious! / - red

yo yo yo hey! I think I understand it a bit more now, for the dream & techo apologists, I think I’m still a bit confused when it comes to technoblade. I see a lot about people only using him as a weapon/ him not being able to trust people / no one sticking up for him and I’m not sure where it comes from? In all fairness, I only know him as the guy who executed Tubbo / spawned withers but im assuming that’s in large part because I came into the story so late (iirc I didn’t really get into the dsmp until around doomsday, and I got most information of past events just by like. osmosis or reading wikis) so I might simply just not have enough information on techno to get it. Like, he executed Tubbo under a lot of pressure iirc but that doesn’t take away from the fact he did execute him? or things with the withers, I know technoblade doesn’t like the government and I’d go as far as to say he has a point, but was it really necessary to destroy lmanburg (iirc, multiple times). I know he was mad, but I feel like he shouldn’t have taken in that far, like from what I see and understand it’s like yes he had his points but he hurt people and doesn’t seem to care that he hurt anybody, just kinda stands there assuming he’s right about everything and not rlly looking at the situation from anyone else’s perspective. That being said like I said I came into the story really late and so my arguments might be able to be chalked up to just a lack of proper context, and even if I’m kinda annoyed at Technoblade’s behavior I still like him as a character & when techno does stream I enjoy the content so I’m not like a technoblade hater or anything I just don’t see why people can be apologists for him bcos from my pov he’s just kind of hurt people and not taken any personal responsibility for it (I mean this as in acknowledging to himself he was ever in the wrong; ex. The whole Tommy / techno betrayal situation which I think was a p complicated matter to be fair he just keeps saying over and over how Tommy betrayed him and it doesn’t seem to me like he’s even bothering to look at the situation from Tommy’s pov or rlly reflect on his own actions at all)

I just rlly like Tommy! I think at least some part of it can be chalked up to Tommy being the first streamer I watched in the dsmp and one of the ones I watch the most from (half the time I’m watching the dsmp it’s a Tommy stream) so there’s just gonna be some inherent bias towards him there like there is with literally any of these streamers. As you put it, it is kinda the trauma, haha. trauma and emotional attachment lol. I think part of it is I relate to him a lot, and I can see where he’s coming from on a lot of things, and I also just like the way his character is written. Smthn abt him that people have pointed out is that his trauma isn’t pretty and romanticized it’s ugly and yk he acts out and all that, which I appreciate. I can see where he’s coming from on a lot of things or at least understand why he thinks the way he does. I like seeing him learn and grow I like seeing his arcs both personally with himself and with other people. He’s an interesting and complex character and he’s been through a lot and I think it’s just super interesting to see how what he’s gone though affects his mental state and his actions as a character, like just from like a mental analysis standpoint there’s a lot to talk about which I think is pretty cool. this isn’t to say that he’s never fucked up or done anything wrong, because he has, but to be fair so has everyone else on this server I don’t think there’s a single member of the server who’s done nothing wrong (except maybe like. Charlie. Charlie my beloved). He’s made his mistakes but every good character fucks up that’s what makes them a good character is their flaws and so with the ways that he’s messed up and the ways he’s hurt people I’m an apologist because I can see why he acts that way, where the feelings and actions are coming from and I can forgive him for it because I understand the why. Also I just think the punishments he’s received for his actions are rlly unfair, easy ex with exile he did something many people on the server have already done at one point or another and was exiled and mentally broken down over it and rlly it’s just been like one thing after another and even if he’s made mistakes he gets way more harshly punished than I think was fair. I’ve seen people talk about how annoying and selfish his character is and when I read the posts (not all of them, there’s a nice chunk of people who are civil about it) it just seems like they’re not rlly thinking abt his character and his experiences. I’ll see people explain his signs of trauma and say it’s annoying because it’s not soft crying trauma it’s messy acting out trauma which it’s just like you do not understand this at all, do you? Or with the discs, I’ll be honest with you here. I will defend Tommy’s attachment to these stupid little music discs till the day I die. Why can’t he have his discs? They’re his , they’re not even that valuable outside of the fact that they’re his, why can’t he have things? why isn’t he aloud to have items he’s attached to without someone taking them for the sole reason of he likes them. And all I see is people saying he is selfish and cares about the discs more than people, which is literally disproven in the rp. Ranboo flat out says he’s not selfish, when Tommy takes the blame for George’s house (also keeping in mind here tommy and ranboo barely knew each other at the time, and if Tommy was actually selfish he could’ve very easily dragged Ranboo down with him) and when it comes to the discs he’s given up the discs multiple times in favor of helping other people (he gave them up for lmanburg, and then for Tubbo I think twice actually) and the one time he told someone the discs were worth more than they were, that was the moment yeah made him realize he didn’t like who he was becoming and he immediately backtracked and allowed the disc to be handed over. TL;DR he’s not selfish he’s just got a lot of strong attachments and his attachments are both his greatest strength and his greatest weakness. And he’s a kid, he’s been though a lot of things, he’s got a lot of trauma he’s dealing

with and it’s not always pretty but he gets better, he has his arcs and he gets better and learns from some of his actions, and I think looking at him and his yk. Timeline and character development and arcs and his whole like mental deal and just general character choices are super interesting and I find it fun, as someone who enjoys character analysis, and all in all I love him I relate to him in some ways and some of it also might just be emotional attachment and bias towards him as Tommy being one of my comfort streamers

& it’s fully possible someone could have just as much of an argument for c!techno, my deal w looking at c!tommy making mistakes and c!techno making mistakes and being able to be an apologist for Tommy and not for techno is more about me understanding tommy’s character better and understand the reasoning and the why behind the things he says and does, vs. techno who i dont really get and i can’t be an apologist for him if I don’t understand anything hes doing or why he’s doing it and then seeing him over and over dismiss other peoples perspectives and never rlly reflecting on himself (not to say Tommy couldn’t use at least a little of that himself- I am Looking over at his relationship w Jack Manifold lol) can be kinda frustrating but as I said earlier that might just be me not knowing all the proper context

I could probably write more about Tommy especially when it comes to the whole technoblade vs Tommy thing but this post is already way longer than you probably ever wanted to read so I’ll stop now I’m sorry I’m just hyperfixated haha and yk if anyone wants to like add arguments or points or if you or someone rlly likes technoblade or dream or whoever and wants to talk to me about that go ahead I encourage that like I rlly enjoy having those conversations w ppl provided theyre civil abt it bc like we’ve all said a million times over before eveyone in the dsmp is an unreliable narrator and you’re just going to automatically have a bias towards a character if you watch their POV most and all that so. Yk I am a tommy apologist but I watch his streams most and I’m also just emotionally attached so anything I can say has to be taken w a grain of salt bcos I’m biased towards his character

[derekgoffard]

If you are comfortable with it ( and ONLY if you're comfortable DO NOT do anything you DON'T want to do) but 😶 can we get nsfw alphabet for Colin maybe????? Mayhaps

(Again if you're not comfy DELETE THIS ASK no one will know 🤫)

UHAUHS Thank u for ur ask aguuhs!! This was such a nice way to word this I'm- 🥺🥺 thank u for being so nice about this ask this is honestly so sweet 🥺😭😭😭❤️❤️

ALSO Im very very un-practiced in writing nsft stuff so this is more jot notes then atcual writing lol,, ( nsft under cut , tw drugging ) Gvvyvh gghh

NSFW Alphabet:

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

Hes pretty good!, if he's not too exhausted himself he'll run around his apartment grabbing blankets and pillows for his partner lol! He'd ideally love to cuddle up with them after sex and watch a movie or smth but he will do whatever they want generally lol, he probably doesn't wanna leave them alone tho- hes real clingy afterwards 😔

B = Body Part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

He will tell them their hands if they ask BUT THATS A LIE LOL his favorite area of their body is probably their waist lol,,,,( if his partner has breasts it might be them too😤) his favorite part about himself is probably his hands; hes not a suppper confident guy but he likes how his hands are shaped and he loves how his fake nails give his fingers a longer look lol.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

Very average, probably cums a little less then most people LOLGYD

D = Dirty Secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

HE SECRETLY WANTS TO SLIP THEM AN APHRODISIAC OR SMTH H H H HH he would never do that ESPECIALLY if he's built an atcually genuine relationship with them BUT. The idea just gets him goin vvf hhh he also probably would want to record it too, like one of those pov blowjob kinda things HHHHHH vhubbu

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

HES A VIRGIN 😭😭😭😭😭 hes had alot of practice on toys and he's watched alot of porn but with irl experience,,,he got none 😔

F = Favorite Position (this goes without saying)

Ye old doggy style and pretzel dip... He'd prefer to be on top but he's a true switch at heart,, he's also into cowgirl ( bottom ) if his partner is smaller and cowgirl (top) if his partner is bigger/has a dick/strap on

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

He's not serious at all lol! He might get kinda ? Creepy tho?? As in he might go real quiet and feel them up a bit but in general he's super nervous abt it so he appreciates a partner who makes light of the whole thing! It'll make him feel better 🥺

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

He trims often!, He has a tuff of hair down there but in general he's pretty well groomed, he would never have the balls to try and bleach anywhere near his dick so it's his og hair color ( brown )

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

He can get pretty intimate/romantic if his partner is! For him to even have sex he would probably need a good relationship with his partner; he's been lonely for so long and for him to finally have someone who he can be romantic with makes him very emotional lol!! If he gets romantic during sex he'll go really slow and probably would want to hold their hand during it lol

J = Jack Off (masturbation headcanon)

Jacks off a moderate amount; at least once a day;....he watches alot of hentai and cosplay pornos,, he also reads alot of smut lol

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

He's pretty kinky in general but his big ones are cosplay , bondage and overstimulation 😔😔😔 ideally he would like to do them all at the same time LOL. he's really into overstimulation with toys in particular 😡😔 he definitely has a thing for leaving his partner tied up the whole day on a vibrator while their in some skimpy outfit or smth hvqvyq H H😔😔 when he gets back he might wanna take a picture of them all exhausted to jerk off to later ygyvvggggg 😔😔😔😔😞😞😞

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

Da bedroom..., he's pretty nervous and insecure abt this kinda stuff ( especially in the beginning) so he'd feel best somewhere secure and private; ...he's secretly got a thing for a blowjob in a public area or smth tho lol

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

Colin is a simple man at heart; skimpy/sexy outfits turn him on alot, especially if it's smth he made/picked out for them 😞 showing sexual interest in him will turn him on too, aka just flirt with him LOL

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

degradation of any kind; he might be able to degrade someone if they asked for it but in no circumstances will he ever want that for himself lol,, it completely shuts him down

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

FFFFFF HAS A THING FOR FACE FUCKING LOL he would give his right arm for someone to give him oral 😭 it's a super big turn on for him and he probably fantasizes abt it alot😔 I imagine him being really into trying to give oral too; his braces will probably fuck it up alot tho 😔😔

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

His pace really depends on his mood lol; if he's feeling romantic he'll go slower and won't use any toys or anything; however 90% of the time he's gonna spend most of the duration on foreplay which gets him all riled up so when he atcually stars da fuckin he'll be pretty pent up and desperate about it😔 so on average he's going pretty fast hhh

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

Likes them in concept but not in practice; he fantasizes alot about a quickie some public space like a bathroom or smth but in reality he could never do smth like that HA😔

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

He doesn't take any TRUE risks, he's open to try basically anything but he won't do anything where someone could catch them in the act

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

He can last for a while! He has a bit more stamina then an average person I'd say, however he crashes hard after pushing himself that far lol,,

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

HAS A LOT OF TOYS LOL, he has at least one of any toy that's on the market basically LOL😭😭, he bought them all in the cutest colors they were available in so they still fit his asthetic lol; at first he only bought a few ones for himself but owning so many made him feel really cool so he just kept going LOL

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Likes to tease alot; really into the whole bondage, vibrator torture, orgasm denial thing lol,,,hes not really into being teased himself tho😠 ( he is selfish 😠😠😠)

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

He's atcually pretty quiet! He yelps a bit mabye ;

W = Wild Card (a random headcanon for the character)

He can space off sometimes during sex and will start doing weird creepy shit lol, (especially if their wearing an outfit) he might start drawing his fingers up their chest or leg or smth 🤮😔

X = X-Ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

It's a bit skinny but it's average! About 5.2in

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

He can be flustered/turned on pretty easily but with no influence his sex drive is on the higher side;

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

That depends on how far he exerted himself ; if he didint go too far he'll have a good amount of energy left, but if he really exerted himself he will be sleeping before his head hits the pillow LOL