#but i'm basically working a double today and i'm annoyed

[ispeakforthetrees19]

Puck Me

Summary: Hockey Player Levi and Figure Skating Coach Reader make a bet...who will win?

A/N: I can't stop writing this and I'm having too much fun with it to enjoy it alone. I suck shit at fancy Tumblr HTML and theme, but here it is.

This story is based on some of my own experiences as a figure skater. This will eventually feature smut, and I will update the tags as I go. I may update again this weekend. Thanks to my beta @nilfgaardianleviosa, as always.

Cross posted to AO3.

Tags: Levi Ackerman/Reader, AU-Modern Setting, Hockey Player Levi Ackerman, Figure Skater and Coach Reader, Enemies to Lovers, You know where this is going, this will be explicit in the future, 2nd person POV, female reader.

TW: bad words, fuckboys

Words: 2.7k

Next Chapter

Chapter 1: Teaching Tots

You step out onto the ice with Petra, fresh and smooth after the Zamboni cleaned up from morning sessions. You bend your ankles, testing your laces to make sure they’re tight enough, and start skating around the rink, warming up against the cold air.

You do some basic footwork and finally you feel warm enough to take off your jacket, leaving you in leggings and a form-fitting long-sleeve shirt. Petra is at the boards when you skate up to hang your jacket on the side; she has her foot up, stretching out her hamstrings.

Public ice is pretty dead today, maybe ten or fifteen people in rental skates starting to get on and wobble their way around the ice as they cling to the wall. You smile at the toddler bravely making their way out to the center, holding onto the PVC pipe support that kids use to stay upright. His mom calls out to him, begging him to come back to where she can’t leave the wall, too unstable in the mediocre skates with limited ankle support.

“Wanna run through jumps?” Petra asks, smiling at you with her big, hazel eyes.

You shrug. “Sure.”

You and Petra each claim a side of the ice, doing crossovers to gain speed, running through your single jumps in order, then your doubles. You’re warm now, and you take off your shirt, grateful for the cool air to hit your arms and shoulders uncovered by the tank top you have underneath.

“Fuck, my double lutz is kicking my ass,” Petra complains as she finds her way next to you. “I just can’t get enough oomph on the entrance.”

“That’s because your toe picks are weak as fuck,” you laugh, pointing to her blades. “They aren’t big enough to really dig in and get you the momentum you need to get your ass in the air.”

“But your blades are so expensive,” Petra whines, looking down at your skates.

“Black Friday still happens for figure skaters,” you remind her. “It’s almost the holidays, why not put it on your Christmas list? Not like your dad can say no to you anyway.”

Petra laughs and pushes your shoulder. “Maybe I will. Hey, are you working on your triples?”

You grimace and shake your head. “A little. Waiting for the bruises on my hips to subside before I bruise them again.”

Petra’s about to respond when you hear loud voices whooping from across the ice. You turn to look at the hockey team getting on the ice and roll your eyes.

“God, the Titans,” Petra mutters. “Don’t they have practice later?”

You raise an eyebrow at her. “Tell me you aren’t already drooling over Ackerman being on the same sheet of ice as you.”

Her cheeks light up pink, and she shakes her head furiously. “No! It’s just—ugh, he’s so distracting.”

You laugh at her embarrassment, pulling her wrist to drag her away from the boards. “Come on, let’s work on our jumps before they take over the whole ice running drills.”

Petra pouts but follows, and you both run through some more doubles before the hockey team starts running exercises, tearing through the ice with their abrupt stops and deep edges.

Eventually, you give up trying to squeeze in practice and just skate around the rink with Petra, staying out of the hockey players’ way.

“I’m annoyed,” Petra pouts. “I wanted your help on my double axel.”

You shrug. “They’ll get off like thirty minutes before practice so they can gear up.”

“But the ice will be ruined!” Petra whines.

You laugh at her valid complaints. “Well, if you can learn to land a double axel on shitty ice, think about how well you’ll do in competition with fresh ice.”

Petra visibly debates your logic for a moment before nodding. “I can try.”

You’re about to suggest a break for hot chocolate and a protein bar when you hear, “Oh shit!” and something solid collides into you.

Arms wrap around your waist, and you turn mid-fall, your back pressed against firm muscle of someone’s chest as you go sliding across the ice.

“What the fuck?” you ask as the arms release you to roll onto the ice.

You look over to see Levi Ackerman himself, captain of the hockey team, groaning as he pulls himself off the ice. “For someone who looks as good as you do in tights, you sure weigh more than you look.”

You sit up, glaring at his smug expression. “Excuse me?”

“Just saying,” he mutters, getting to his feet. He extends a hand out to you to help you up and you swat it away, getting up yourself.

“Can you watch where the fuck you’re going?” you ask him bitterly.

“Can you? You know we’re running drills,” Levi says, crossing his arms at your rejection of his assistance.

“I was skating forward! You hit me from behind!” you protest. “How am I supposed to watch out when you sneak up on me?”

“Pay attention, princess,” Levi says mockingly. “It’s not just your ice.”

You’re absolutely fuming, ready to unleash on him, when you feel Petra’s hand on your arm.

“Are you okay?” she asks, noticing the snow in your hair.

“I’m fine,” you mutter, looking away from Levi’s piercing blue eyes. “Jackass knocked me off my feet.”

“Jackass?” Levi questions, irritation shining through his expression.

“Yeah,” you say emphatically. “Jackass. I think it’s perfect to describe you. Or do you prefer Captain Jackass?”

“Bitch,” he mutters, skating away back to his team who are carefully watching the interaction.

“Fucking hockey players,” you grumble to Petra, who loops her arm through yours as you start to skate around the rink again. “Think they own the ice. It’s not even time for their practice and they’re running drills, terrorizing the public skaters.”

“Yeah,” she says, unconvincingly. “Jerks. But hey, at least he broke your fall, right?”

You turn to look at her, mouth parted open in shock. “Seriously? He slammed into me from behind and you’re giving him brownie points for not knocking me unconscious?”

“Well,” Petra says sheepishly. “I saw him turn so that he fell against the ice and didn’t fall on top of you. He was going pretty fast.”

You press your mouth into a line, shaking your head. “You’re a simp, you know that? An Ackerman simp. He could burn this rink down and you’d still justify it, fawning over him.”

Petra protests and you giggle at her poorly crafted excuses. You shake your head, pulling her off the ice to the lobby, where it’s warm and loud.

“Hey,” your boss says, waving at you from the rental counter. “I know it’s not your day for Learn to Skate, but we need coverage on Saturday. Can you do it?”

“Miche, come on!” you whine, sighing dramatically. “I work two of the three sessions every week. Tuesdays and Thursdays. One day more than my contract actually says, because I’m so generous and nice.”

“It’s just the tots,” he says, eyes pleading.

“Miche, no!” you exclaim, unable to help the smile spreading across your face. “You know I hate teaching the little ones.”

“Come on,” he says. “I booked a trip out of town for Nanaba and I’s anniversary and I totally forgot she’s on Saturday rotation. Please, help me woo my wife and preserve my marriage.”

“Miche, you’re really a piece of work,” you sigh. “You know I can’t say no to helping my coach.”

“I knew there was a reason you’re Nanaba’s favorite,” he says with a smile. “Thank you so much!”

“You owe me!” you call over your shoulder, walking over to the viewing bench. “Man, I can’t believe I have to cover the tots. I hate that shit.”

“But they’re so cute,” Petra protests.

You groan at her utter betrayal. “No, they aren’t! They fall and cry, and cry and fall, for almost an hour. It’s horrible. I finally worked my way out of teaching tots.”

“It’s just one Saturday,” Petra consoles. “Plus, I’m on Saturdays too! We can get lunch after.”

You pout your lips out at her. “Fine. We can get lunch.”

Your blood is pumping as you skate down the rink, edges ripping into the ice as you precisely carve delicate swirls with your blades. Loud techno music plays over the speakers as you skate, all in perfect synchronicity with the other skaters as you do footwork.

“Faster!” Coach Pixis is sitting on the boards at the side of the rink, sipping from a water bottle that certainly isn’t filled with water.

You reach the goal line and circle back to run the same footwork back down the way you came. Power class continues like this for another twenty minutes until Pixis finally dismisses you, calling it “slightly less than abysmal this time”.

As he swings his legs over the boards to walk back to the lobby, you collapse onto the ice, chest heaving. Your best friend peers at you from where she stops beside you, eyes curious.

“You alright?” she asks, out of breath herself. Petra’s face is flushed after thirty minutes of on-ice cardio.

“So...sweaty,” you groan, enjoying the feeling of the cold against your overly warm skin. “Cold feels good.”

“You’re in a tank top, you’ll get ice burn if you don’t get up,” Petra chides. “Come on, it’s almost time for hockey practice anyway.”

You reach up a hand and she pulls you to your feet. You brush the snow off of your leggings and tell her you’ll catch up, grabbing your jacket and water bottle from the boards.

The hockey players spill onto the ice, immediately skating laps at high speed forward and backward around the rink, warming up. You purse your lips, annoyed that they couldn’t wait another fifteen seconds for you to grab your shit and get off, instead making it nearly impossible for you to reach the exit closest to the coach’s room, meaning you now have to walk around the entire rink from the bench.

You decide to wait them out, annoyed with their crappy behavior. You lean against the boards, your things in your arms, for the full five minutes, watching them, making eye contact, waving at one or two that you know.

They run laps until Commander Erwin calls for them to line up on the blue line in front of him. When he does, you leisurely skate behind the group of men to get off at the exit you wanted.

They all turn around to watch you, evidently surprised you didn’t chew them out like usual for doing this. You smile at them, your eyes finding Levi’s from where he’s smirking at you. You raise an eyebrow at him and exit the ice, feeling him watch you until you disappear behind the bleachers.

Petra is inside the coach’s room already, unlacing her skates as she sits in her assigned chair. You sit in your spot next to her, following suit.

“Ugh, did you see Levi?”

You roll your eyes at Petra’s simpering expression and wide, hazel eyes.

“Why are you such a simp for him? For any hockey player? They’re dicks and they smell bad,” you complain.

“Not Levi,” she says with a dreamy look on her face. “Remember? He helped me when I cut my hand.”

“He wrapped a dirty hockey rag around your hand and told you to stop bleeding on his ice,” you say flatly. “He’s not exactly a knight in shining armor.”

Petra continues on, dithering about how Levi is, in fact, kind of an asshole but if you look past his harsh words, sour attitude, huge ego, and generally rude demeanor, there’s probably a decent guy in there. Yeah, okay.

You slip on your tennis shoes and pull Petra out to the lobby, grabbing a Gatorade and a protein bar from the concession stand.

“Let’s sit on the bleachers,” Petra says, trying to be nonchalant.

“Because we don’t spend enough time here, let’s go watch the hockey players on our break?” you ask sarcastically.

But it’s hard to say no to Petra, with her wide eyes and pouty lips. So you cave, agreeing to go sit on the bleachers, grateful for the cool metal against your back as you lay against the bench. Petra sits at attention, watching the players skate up and down the ice, practicing formations and plays.

“He’s looking over here!” she practically squeals.

You roll your eyes, scrolling through Spotify for a bass-laden playlist to mentally prepare for spending an hour with the tots later this morning.

There’s a loud crash against the boards and you jump, nearly falling off the bench. You shoot up, glaring at the plexiglass, behind which stands a smug Levi Ackerman, smirking at you. He raises an eyebrow at you and shrugs, feigning innocence. How mature, hitting the boards to startle you.

Petra gives you a sidelong glance, a slight furrow in her brows as you roll your eyes at Levi who’s wiggling the fingers in his glove in a semblance of wave. For which you return a middle finger, setting off a round of laughs between his teammates.

You look over at her with a raised eyebrow, wondering what she’s so concerned about, but she shakes her head and turns back to face the ice, eyes watching intently as they start running drills.

Later, you teach the tots a fun fishing game, where they pull out fish from the ‘pond’ you drew on the ice with a marker, and then you teach them how to skate away according to the type of fish they caught. It’s nearly time to go, and the class has been surprisingly smooth.

However, as your last student pulls out a “big fish! So big and scary!”, and you all skate backwards away from it, doing swizzles on their unsteady little feet, your smallest skater falls.

Oh fuck, here we go.

He looks up at you with wide eyes, lip trembling as he clutches his hand to his chest. He’s two feet tall, you know he’s fine, but he thinks he’s hurt, so you let out a quiet sigh and kneel next to him.

“Oh bud, that was a big fall,” you say empathetically, pulling off your gloves and taking his ‘injured’ hand between yours. “You did great though.”

“I did?” he asks tearfully, clearly wanting to have a huge meltdown but also wanting to hold it together to earn your praise.

“You did,” you confirm with a nod. “You know what I do when I hurt myself from falling? I take a big deep breath, and I shake the ouch out. Have you ever done that?”

He shakes his head no, eyes wide, and you smile at him, a little charmed by his chubby cheeks.

“Hey, isn’t that the chick you nearly took out on public the other day?” Eren nods to the ice as he throws his bag over his shoulder coming out of the locker room. “Is she a coach?”

Levi looks over and sees you kneeling down on the ice, holding the hands of a tot who must have taken a fall. He watches you shake out your hands, and the little boy imitates you. You throw your head back to laugh at the boy’s enthusiasm, quickly wiggling his whole body, and take his hand to pull him back to the other tots who have been watching curiously.

You lead them in a line that snakes around the designated area until you reach the door of the rink, making sure they all get off and into the waiting arms of their parents.

He catches your eye, thinking about how pretty you look when you aren’t flipping him off or cussing him out. You give him a hesitant smile before you’re pulled into a conversation with one of the parents.

Eren is looking at him, mouth open as he watches Levi watch you. “Uh, hello?”

Levi looks at him blandly. “Yeah, yeah. She must be a coach if she’s teaching Learn to Skate.”

Eren raises an eyebrow at him. “You look like you’re down bad. For a figure skating coach, of all people.”

“Fuck off, Yeager,” Levi says, pushing him into the wall as he heads for the doors.

[busycucumbermelon]

The Cullens' Treasure

Summary: After befriending a new kid at your school, you soon realize your brother only focuses on his girlfriend and partying. you got fed up and decided to ask your new friends for help.

Part 2 of our coven mate

 Warning:  threats, unwanted, physical, touch, mention of child endangerment 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The buzz of your alarm clock woke you up out of your deep slumber. You glanced over at the clock - 5:30. Here comes the rush of your morning. Get up, make breakfast, wake your brother, and wake the kids. Bathe them and get them dressed, make sure they have all their homework done. Then you're part of the morning. You'd usually just let them play while you take a shower, get dressed, do your hair, and double-check that you have everything you need for the day. Out the door at 7:00!

The kids got to school around 10 minutes before they needed to, but the staff there had a schedule with you and your brother. You could drop them off early and they could spend some time in the classroom doing their own thing. Today, you took a few minutes to encourage Sarah and Melanie. The two of them would be giving the new girl attending their school, the tour. Carter didn't really want to walk around with his sisters and a random girl though, so he would just be playing in one of the classrooms.

Your brother didn't accompany you while you were talking to your siblings. Currently, you and him were having a fight, but that wasn't going to stop you from being the best big sister you could as always. You gave your little siblings a kiss and went back to the Jeep.

"you know, it would be nice if you at least got out of the car and put yourself aside for your little siblings."

"Oh, shut it! I'm tired. Me and Olivia were up all night." You whipped your head towards your brother so fast you were sure you'd get whiplash.

Recently, all that had been talked about was your brother's girlfriend Olivia. You had nothing against her; she was a sweet, loving girl. However, your brother was skipping shifts while still begging you to clock in for him. You were basically working double time because of him.

On top of that, when you got home, you had to take care of two sick little girls and a cranky little boy who was trying to make sure his sisters were okay. Yet, your brother still had the audacity to complain about it.

"Oh, I'm sorry. I'm trying to take care of a family, while working, and making sure my little siblings are okay. Melanie has cancer, and Sarah's hydrocephalus doesn't exactly make everything all okay with her. We're lucky Carter doesn't have anything similar, or we wouldn't be able to pay for food, the rent, school, hospital bills. You don't care about any of that though, just Olivia!"

"Oh, I'm sorry, but I don't want to spend my entire life with my annoying sister and little siblings that, honestly, could just die for all I care."

The last thing you wanted to hear was your brother ranting about everything, especially bringing kids into it. These were your little siblings, the last trace you had of your parents, and the fact that he just wanted them to die hurt.

The rest of the car ride, you were quiet, crying out of your window, happy you decided not to put on makeup this morning, otherwise, this would be a whole other scene.

When the two of you pulled up to school, you grabbed your bag up from the floor and jumped out of the jeep, slamming the door behind you. The first person you saw that day was Olivia, running up to the car. She looked like she was going to give you a hug, but then second-guessed herself and went to your brother’s side of the car instead.

She probably noticed how upset you were and realized that it wasn't her place to comfort you, since the two of you hadn't always been on the best terms.

In your distress, you didn't notice the new fancy cars parked next to you, until now. As you stormed past, you could make out the people inside. The first car closest to you had a blonde with slightly wavy hair wearing a floral green top, a white scarf, and jeans. They were pretty pale, just like the guy on the passenger seat. You didn't give them more than a glance as you continued to walk across the parking lot.

When you got closer to the school building, you saw your two closest friends standing there - Chris and Crystal.

Crystal was the first to notice the tear stains on your cheeks. Chris was too oblivious, pulling you into a hug. It was exactly what you needed. After an argument with your brother, you knew they wouldn't ask any details or harp on it too long.

Although the company of your friends was comforting for you, it wasn't for the people sitting in their cars behind you -

Jasper and Bella, sitting in the parked cars behind you, had their eyes closed, just to make sure nothing happened once you went inside with your friends. As soon as you stepped inside, they opened their eyes again,

You were quiet as you watched your two best friends chatting while walking down the hallway. The tiredness was starting to slowly set in, but you weren't too worried about that. Even your teacher had made an agreement with you. As long as you got good grades, she would let you sleep in class. So, you tried to engage in the conversation as much as you could, even if it made you exhausted, as it usually did talking to the two idiots you called friends.

"No, I'm saying Natalie and her roommate disappeared." Natalie was one of the popular girls in school. You weren't friends with her or her roommate, but this was where the gossip would usually go.

"Maybe something happened to Natalie's roommate and she's just looking after them," you added to the conversation, providing your own speculation.

"No, no. Well, maybe, I guess no one knows. Did you guys hear? Sounds like we might be able to get out of a little bit of work in gym today. It sounds like we'll just be sparring and you know how the gym teacher is. He's so sexist - he won't let any of the girls participate," Crystal always hated gym class. Her excuse was she had really bad hand eye coordination.

"Uhhhhh." Chris was obviously not excited to fight one of his friends in front of a bunch of girls.

"Yup," Rose teased, throwing an arm around your waist, and pulling you into her. If Chris decided to hit her, this was always her ploy to use you as a human shield.

"Alright, alright. You idiot, let me go to class." Crystal walked away, heading for her Spanish class and telling Chris that she'd see him in gym.

You walked into your English class, saying hello to your teacher, and took a seat at your usual table. You didn't like sitting next to the window, so you took the seat right next to it. No one usually sat around you because well, you wouldn't be much help. You usually just fell asleep and as you did everyday, you put on your hood and put your head down in your arms.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Everything for English went perfectly smooth, even with you sleeping through the entire class with your notebook under your arm. Jasper took down notes for you, periodically looking at the clock to look at your reflection. Bella sat behind you, staring at the clock for the majority of the class. if you had been awake, you would've thought she'd had enough of school already, or she just really wanted to see her partner. You'd seen Divine do it multiple times before, and it could only be assumed it was the same for Bella.

Next was Biology to, as usual, you sat by yourself. Usually, you'd pair up with some acquaintances that you had in that class, For this class, you were sitting next to one of the new students, Emmett.

Seeing him immediately brought you back to the parking lot, You just stared straight ahead, deep in thought, not taking in a word your teacher said, as you thought about what happened earlier that morning.

You scanned the room, and sure enough, you were able to recognize the girl who was sitting with Emmett in the car. She was pretty and had paper-white skin, something you hadn't noticed when you were walking past her. Maybe it was because your eyes were blurry with tears?

A small part of you was kind of worried, though. It wasn't even possible for some one to be that light. Maybe vitiligo, or a lack of sunlight? Or, maybe they just didn't go out a lot?

But before you could think too much on it, the professor started the lesson. Today, you were going over chemical bonds. It sounded complicated from what you could gather before you started to space out. In the corner of your eye, you noticed that Rosalie and Emmett had a close eye on you.

What did their proximity to you mean? You had no idea, but as you started to space out on the lesson, you couldn't help but pay more attention to the duo than anything else in the class.

"When you think of bonds, you may not think of ions, like most people you probably think of bonds between people - like-." After that, the professor started speaking again, although, just like earlier, you started to space out as soon as he did once again.

It seemed like he wasn't planning on giving a long spiel and was going to give you a paper or partner work regardless. Either way, you were pretty sure that spacing out wouldn't hurt that much. You'd already slept through English today, and you'd been fine.

You ended up resting your hand on the table as you began gazing into one of the walls. Sitting in the back middle of the class, it was pretty much far-fetched for the teacher to notice you and call you out. On top of that, the majority of teachers knew of your home arrangement and would give you much more leeway than the rest of your classmates.

Your hand on the table felt like something was slowly taking away some heat. It started at your pinky and a little bit of your wrist. When you glanced over to your new table-mate, you saw that he had his hand next to yours and was tapping the table.

What do you make of this? Do you just keep staring ahead? Or, do you try to get a better look at what he's doing and maybe even talk to him? Just as all these questions started to swirl around in your brain the teacher told all the students that they would be choosing partners. 

As kids scattered around the classroom to find a partner, you noticed your table mate quickly look over at the girl from the parking lot. Their gaze was intense and it looked like they were whispering or mouthing something to each other. The motion was almost fluid, it was as if they were having a personal conversation of some sort. But, they weren't yelling or getting loud, and the situation was so tense that you had the impression that they were discussing something else... like, a secret! What was it about though?… As your table mate moved his hand, his arm flexed and muscles contracted, as if he was holding back from reaching out to you or trying to make some point or comfort himself. You couldn't quite tell what his motive was, but something was definitely on his mind...and it made you curious.

"Hey there!"

Nella was as sweet as her nickname and was not like any of the other students who treated new students like freaks at a circus. She had a natural gift for making friends anywhere she went.

"So I was wondering," Nella says. "But it's all up to you." She pauses, "I know you don't really like partnering up with people you're not really comfortable with, and I totally get that."

"But," she continues, "I was thinking, maybe one of us," she gestures to you and herself, "each could partner up with one of the new kids?"

You nod in agreement, as the group of remaining students breaks out into hushed chatter, discussing partnerships and strategies.

A small, nagging voice in the back of your mind was telling you this was a mistake, but it was too late now. Nella was already off to find the girl from the parking lot. It made you feel awful that that was all you really knew about her.

You turned to see your table mate, his eyes fixated on you. Everything in you told you that this was a bad decision and you were right. He asked the question you feared, only serving to confirm your suspicions.

"So we're partners?" his voice sounds off. Though you've never heard him speak before, something feels wrong. The way he spoke...it was weird.

Fear and worry took hold of you as he asked the question, afraid that you had made a mistake.

"No, this is all in my head," you tell yourself. "I'm being paranoid. There is nothing to worry about; I'm probably just on edge since I've been feeling so emotional all day."

Then, you hear your table mate ask you a question, which makes your heart start racing all over again.

"so what's your name? I don't think you've told me yet." His tone was so friendly, that you almost forgot what you were panicking about.

"Y/n, what's your name?" You're noticeably calmer now and are actually able to focus on your partner. You decide to ignore those intrusive thoughts and take a deep breath to remain in control.

"I'm Emmett," he says, "and your friend is partnered with Rosalie" he adds, as if that explains everything. The fact that he dropped that information without any sort of preamble makes you wonder if he was just making a casual observation or maybe he noticed you were kind of nervous up

As the class continued, you were mostly tuned out. However, you were surprised to realize that Emmett was doing most of the work. It was as if your table mate had a hidden talent for understanding this stuff that you just couldn't comprehend.

Rosalie also caught your attention; she frequently looked over at you, but it was never nerve-racking or intimidating. It felt...natural and normal.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 In your Spanish class, you need to discussed something with Crystal. You anxiously rocked back-and-forth on your heels, waiting for her outside English classroom. You always walked together, and you needed someone to talk to about your feelings and how weird class was.

You also felt uncomfortable with the way the town perceived the new kids. They gave you bad vibes, and you just couldn't fully trust them.

Although Crystal wasn't the first one out of the classroom, a new girl was. You had never seen her around, so you suspected she was new to town.

When she spotted you, the new girl quickly stopped in her tracks. She bit her bottom lip and quickly continued walking.

Although you hadn't spoken a single word to the new girl, you could tell there was something else in her mind. It seemed like she wanted to approach you, but was hesitant to do so...

And before you knew it, Crystal was right in front of you with a small smile pulling at the corner of her lips, hoping you would indulge in the drama.

"She's a bit strange, isn't she?" Crystal whispers and pauses for a moment. "She goes by the name of Alice, and we are sitting next to each other."

With that, Crystal quickly moves on. Beginning to walk to Spanish class.

"Well, in every single one of my classes there's been a new student, and I was partnered with one of them. Alice seemed pretty okay, so maybe you should just give her a chance."

You paused, unsure of what to say next. You felt so anxious and stressed out by the whole situation, but you didn't want to sound like you were complaining or making excuses.

So instead, you decided to keep it quick and concise. "I've been a little stressed out lately and the new kids don't really help."

"God, it's your brother and Olivia again. I hate them," Crystal says in an annoyed tone. "I know they're in love or whatever, but she can't just throw away all the responsibilities he has."

She got really upset when it seemed like someone was screwing you over, especially with Olivia since the two of them hadn't gotten along too well. You, however, felt conflicted. You understood your brother's anger, but your siblings would be distraught if they heard what he had said.

You tried to keep your attention on Crystal, but you kept getting sucked back into your own thoughts. After getting thrown back into your thoughts for what felt like the hundredth time, a tap on your shoulder brought you back to reality. You looked over at Crystal, who now wore a bright red flush on her cheeks.

As you looked over, you saw a new student. He was a tall, buff guy, obviously Crystal's type. His teeth were sharp, and his hair looked greasy, like he'd been sweating.

"Excuse me, could you tell me where Spanish is?" he asked. His tone came across as a bit demanding and harsh. You didn't know what his problem was, but you were quick to jump as he seemingly appeared out of nowhere.

He quickly apologized for scaring you. He explained that he was in a rush, which was why his tone sounded a bit harsh. He was just kinda frazzled, since he didn't really know anyone in his new school.

In that moment, Crystal shot her shot and began trying to push you out of the conversation. She knew you were stressed, and she wanted to take control of the situation.

Jacob and Crystal continued their conversation as they walked to Spanish class together. Although his eyes occasionally gazed your way, you felt comfortable; it wasn't the same as everyone else looking at you with some weird thing in their eyes.

Jake was enjoying the conversation; he seemed comfortable and happy to talk. He reminded you of the time when your brother and you were on the same team and felt like the two of you could take on anything together.

Once you made it into the classroom, you moved to your seat. You typically went on autopilot at this point, distracted by your daydreams. But today, you were having just a little too much fun eavesdropping on Jake and Crystal's conversation

Slowly but surely, Crystal and Jake make their way to you. If Jake had been in a different Spanish class, you were positive Crystal would have followed him.

you decided it would be better if you stopped eavesdropping and simply let your eyes wander around the classroom. You were curious to see if your conspiracy theory about every single one of the new kids being in your classes was actually true...

And sure enough, one of the new students was Alice from before. Her eyes seemed to stare at you with a blank, empty expression. It was almost as if she was dead, like a zombie, waiting for the right moment to pounce. Before you could give it too much thought, you grabbed your pencil pouch and laid out a few of your favorite colors on your desk.

This class wasn't your favorite, and you typically stuck to monotone colors when taking notes. But this could be an exception, especially because Alice was sitting so close to you.

Jake and Crystal's conversation began to taper off as Jake continued to look down at his phone. His eyes occasionally lingered on you and Alice , but you were only getting most of this information from Crystal.

Since the lesson had already begun, you chose to pay attention to what Miss Glosson was teaching. Despite all your curiosity about the new students, you decided it was best to try and focus on studying instead of getting distracted.

As Crystal and Jake's conversation died off, Allison and Jake were now involved in their own stare down. Each of them waited for the other to make the first move, deciding between who would finally budge and move.

Edward had been sending everyone texts throughout the day detailing your thoughts. You had a really bad gut feeling and you felt like this whole situation was kind of freaking you out. However, the Cullens were known for their stubbornness and unwillingness to do what they didn't want to do, The hardest thing was that Jake didn't want to see the same thing happen to you as it did to Bella. You were anxious and had your own issues to deal with. You didn't need a clan of vampires desperate for your attention, especially not with their abilities.

The Cullens were stubborn, especially when they wanted something. This was going to turn out to be way more than Jake thought it would be.

At some point, Alice finally broke when she looked at you and then down at her phone. Jasper and Edward both texted her, presumably worried about your weird vibes and how odd they made you feel.

Jasper expressed concern over your emotions, saying they were "off."

Edward also weighed in, saying you were going through a lot. He mentioned your worries about your family, school, and also made a mention about the staring contest between Alice and Jacob, which was definitely not helping your stress levels. There was always a slight hint of mint whenever you were thinking about school, and your family, The flavor either varied between vibrant, cherry, or strawberry for positive thoughts, or sour for negative feelings.

When you were stressed in particular, it was a bland flavor. A taste that was salty and extremely stale, like everything just went away. An empty void of flavors. It was almost like eating food without salt or any seasoning. Like a stale bread crust, devoid of any flavor.

At some point, Alice finally broke when she looked at you and then down at her phone. Jasper and Edward both texted her, presumably worried about your weird vibes and how odd they made you feel.

Jasper expressed concern over your emotions, saying they were "off."

Edward also weighed in, saying you were going through a lot. He mentioned your worries about your family, school, and also made a mention about the staring contest between Alice and Jacob, which was definitely not helping your stress levels. There was always a slight hint of mint whenever you were thinking about school, and your family, The flavor either varied between vibrant, cherry, or strawberry for positive thoughts, or sour for negative feelings.

When you were stressed in particular, it was a bland flavor. A taste that was salty and extremely stale, like everything just went away. An empty void of flavors. It was almost like eating food without salt or any seasoning. Like a stale bread crust, devoid of any flavor.

Alice couldn't believe what was happening. She couldn't believe Jake was staring at her like she had anything harmful in mind towards you. She was there to protect you, to cherish you, to do anything for you.

How dare he think she could do something to harm you?! It was crazy to even think she could do anything like that. That was just ridiculous and out of the question.

Jacob finally looked down at his phone. He almost snarled at the way the Cullens talked about you. They spoke about you as if you were already part of the family, like you had already accepted their offer.

The fact that Jasper talked so freely about your emotions made Jacob even more frustrated. Just because he could taste them, didn't mean he should discuss them so openly. Your home life was not just an open topic for the Cullens to talk about freely with each other.

As Alice suddenly stood up without asking permission, she nearly threw the door off the hinges while leaving. Jake, on the other hand, followed after her, not to comfort her, but to scold her for her outburst.

This whole ordeal confused both yourself and Crystal. You were both directly behind Alice and the door. When she threw the door open, it ended up scaring the hell out of you both.

As Alice left the classroom, she knew she scared you. Edward and Jasper had been texting her non-stop.

Jasper hated the new taste in your mind. It was overpowered with cinnamon and something sour, like a lemon. The tastes didn't blend well at all.

Upon seeing Jake follow her, you’d thought they'd be back-to-back arguing, but it appeared they weren't. Instead, the moment Alice was out of your vicinity, she took off running down the hallway, much faster than she should have.

Humans might not have been able to see a blur like Alice, but she was moving so quickly that she was just barely detectable. The hallway cameras were mostly for show, and Jake knew that Alice was headed towards the elementary school that was just nearby. When Alice was looking for something that reminded her of you, she opted for the elementary school.

It wasn't far , and the elementary school wasn't very big or important in itself. But it was a place that would remind Alice of you. well, your little siblings reminded Alice of you would be more correct

Once Alice arrived at the elementary school, she stopped outside of one of the windows and looked inside. She was able to see right into your sibling's classroom. Renesme was also inside the classroom.

Even though Renesme technically shouldn't be put into the school yet, the Cullens had found a way to make it happen. They knew that it would give them an excuse to see you just a little bit more. It also helped further cement Renesme's place in the family, which was a plus.

When Alice looked into the classroom, she saw Sarah and Melanie playing dolls with Renesme. Carter occasionally tried to insert himself into the game, either by slamming a dinosaur into the doll or sneaking in toy cars here and there.

Renesme was having a great time. She had never had the opportunity to play with kids who were the same age as her or looked the same age as her. Even though she wasn't taught everything she needed to be a part of human society, it still brought Alice great comfort watching Renesme enjoy herself.

Even though Renesme was a definite bonus, she wouldn't completely calm Alice down. If she was Bella, then seeing her kids and a small dose of you and your siblings' bone structure would have definitely calmed her down. However, since she wasn't Bella, Alice was thinking about requesting Jasper to come see her

Before Alice could do anything, Jake arrived. He walked all the way to the elementary school to follow her.

"You look like a total creep, standing in front of a school and peering in through the window," Jake said.

"If you're trying to be subtle, you're doing horrible, and Edward, standing outside the classroom? Seriously? Can she have any privacy?" Jake continued.

It's not our fault," Alice said defensively.

"It's only way for Edward to hear her thoughts. If he couldn't, then this process would be moving much more quickly."

Alice then continued, "If you don't like the speed we're moving now, then you definitely wouldn't like it if it was moving at the same speed that we're thinking..."

She explained that it wasn't their fault. Even though Alice understood Jake's thoughts, she still felt that the Cullens deserved more of a chance.

It's not my fault," Alice said. She defended her position once more. "It's the only way Edward can hear her thoughts."

"Edward got really crazy last time when he couldn't hear Bella's thoughts at all," she continued.

Alice also seemed bothered by Jake's constant input. "Why do you always have to insert your opinion into everything," she said.

Jake and Alice had retreated into the nearby woods. They had spotted a teacher watching them and saw Renesme looking at them out of the corner of her eye.

The fight had not ended, and in fact, there was no end in sight, as the two sides seemed pretty determined to stick to their own opinions.

~~~~~~~~~~~

As soon as gym class started, it was time for the boys to spar. Chris was paired up with Emmett for this, while all the girls were required to sit on the bleachers.

Bella and Rosalee was sitting behind you, while Crystal was right next to you. You had been leaning on her shoulder, curled up in a ball.

This was the first time in a few days where you just felt so tired. You wanted a break from life's craziness

Suddenly, you felt a cold hand over your forehead. You jerked back abruptly, as the person who touched you was concerned.

"Are you getting sick? You're burning up."

You quickly denied it, trying not to even think about the possibility. There was no way you could be sick right now, not with everything else going on. You had a doctor's appointment to get to in just 30 minutes. You just couldn't be sick.

"No, no, no."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Author note 

So sorry this took so long because I had been lacking motivation, which has made life very hectic and difficult. I realize there's a lot more that I need to add, and this is already a lot to begin with. However, there will be another part. Rest assured it may just take a while

[ateez-himari]

Hi bb!!!! Hau?? I had a question and couldn't nap because of it and I actually forgot what I wanted to ask so now I have more questions so I can remember the og one :))))))))

•I keep annoying you with mingri moments but I realized that since they're now public and you mentioned that people are criticizing them for being too "close" (they're literally dating smh) have mingri ever acted up on stage on PURPOSE to annoy these "fans"?

•are there any junior idols that have a crish on hima, and if so have they ever publicly announced it?

•when hima dresses up by herself does she prefer skirts and dresses or pants and tops?

•what are some hima outfits that made mingi fold(ik that boy is down badddd🤭🤭)

•what were hima's lines in iomt(i wanna do smth)

This isn't question but a rant,so I basically make these kpop "poster edits(?)" and I used to do them back then, and I recently (today) got back to doing them and I wanted to show you(cause you're my unofficial bestie 😗)

•The wonyoung one sucks, if you know Japanese no you dont😜😜😜cause I have no idea what anything means except for the text that I translated myself

•the giselle one is my 2nd favorite(the wonyoung being my least) I honestly had a lot of fun doing this one cause I haven't made them in a while and this was the first one i did after a long time

•the hanni one is my absolute favorite. I find that I'm usually really attracted to orange/red designs and my god was it a pain in the butt, my phone was crashing every two second cause there was so many elements but atleast I got it done hehe

(I was gonna make a mingri one but I had no idea which concept photos I should use if you have any idea please tell me bb🙏🙏)

mwahh bb ilysm please take care and don't forget to rest and stay warm!! 💓💓

Hi Mina!! I'm actually doing great, thank you 😘You can ask as many questions as you want until you remember the og one don't worry!! (Answers might just be a little slow since I have a few more I need to answer from other anons)

• They usually ignore 'fans' commenting about their physical closeness, but there was one concert where they noticed a banner asking for them to stop kissing on stage as it made the attendee jealous so Mingi pulled his girlfriend over, pointing to the piece of cardboard. After practically doubling over in laughter, the vocalist hooked a finger under his chain and pulled him down - leaving a long lasting kiss on his lips which he rapidly got lost in, only pulling away once Hongjoong tapped him on the shoulder to remind him that his part was coming up

• A few juniors announced their crush on Hima;

Jaehyun from BOYNEXTDOOR accidentally exposed his crush on her through a live stream where he was watching a video of her singing 'Addict' from her LXST project and blurted out 'Himari sunbaenim is so pretty'. ONEDOOR caught on to this easily and he eventually admitted that she's been his bias since debut and is actually his ideal type. Since K'OZ Entertainment has reached out to her several time they have met in person before, and the very first time he saw her walk through the doors he could barely even utter out a proper greeting. When I tell you that boy is down bad for his senior...half of the streams for her 'Addict' music video were probably just from him, most of the comments on fan accounts are probably just from his secret account, at this point he probably runs a fan page (the blurred polaroid on the back of his phone is one that they took together when she visited the company building). Aside from his little crush, he's also learning a lot from her - he's sat in on producing sessions with Zico, had the opportunity to ask her questions and even worked on a sample with her to develop his own 'voice'

Ricky from ZEROBASEONE did not even try to hide his crush on his senior as he openly gushed about her beauty in real life when she guided him back to his group during the 2023 MCountdown, stating that from that moment on she became his ideal type. He actually has a keychain of her Aniteez on his bag at all times

Sunghoon from ENHYPEN admitted that he was slightly jealous during her stage with Heeseung at the 2024 Gayo Daejeon - Swan Lake Reimagined - because he's had a small crush on her for quite some time now. They're only a year apart in age but he still finds her very intimidating to approach due to the amount of achievements tied to her, something she quickly noticed and made the first move to introduce herself at an award show where both groups were present. Sunghoon didn't realize that he'd been holding her hand (that he was supposed to be shaking) and Mingyu (who was in a situationship with her at the time) practically death stared him

Junhyeok from TNX was having a hard time with his solo performance during 'Road to Kingdom: Ace of Ace' (a cover of Drowning by Woodz) and asked for Himari's help, which she gladly provided. He already greatly admired her as an artist but having the opportunity to spend some time with her, he could understand why people were so disappointed when it was announced that she was in a relationship. Obviously he fell for her beauty at first but then quickly fell for her raw voice as well when she showed him how the track was supposed to be sung

Other Idols Include; Eric from The Boyz (from Kingdom : Legendary War), Dino from Seventeen (briefly), Keeho from P1Harmony (when they first met) & Hwiyoung from SF9 (also from Kingdom : Legendary War)

A/N; Himari was down bad for predebut Jongho...like she had the fattest crush on him it wasn't even funny

• Hima loves wearing zip-up sweaters along with skirts! She'll usually wear tank tops under them so she can let one of the sleeves fall off her shoulder. Unlike her dark and powerful on-stage outfits, she loves putting bows in her hair, wearing leg warmers with bows and wearing lighter colors (though she's kind of picky and mainly wears light pink, grey, white, black and any shade of brown light enough). She also likes wearing tight/cropped tops with sweatpants or jean cargo pants and cropped sweaters when she doesn't feel like dressing up

• The Milan Fashion Week afterparty dress definitely made him go insane - yes it was an incredibly intricate and beautiful dress but the way it hugged her curves made him realize that he was going to have to try really hard not to drag her into the bathroom. Any bodycon dress has him on his knees, even just dresses that just hug her waist tightly enough that there are no more curves to imagine

Her 'Addict' outfit! The European tour dates are going to be extremely hard for him since not only was this the music video outfit, but it's also the one she's going to wear on stage. This man almost fainted when she came posed in the water for those photos, he was clenching the armrests of his chair so hard that there's still a dent in them to this day

Anytime she comes into his lives wearing either combination; one of his sweater without pants underneath or a crop top and loose sleep shorts (bonus points if those shorts are actually his boxers)

• I'm not the greatest when it comes to these types of line distributions but here's what I managed to come up with! (she's got approximately 18.55 secs without counting the background/supporting vocals);

(0:56); "난 시작부터 main course (course), 썰어 먹지, diamond cut (cut it)" Starting from the Main course. Slice and eat that Diamond cut/

(1:30); "저기 저 철새 말이 많네" Little bird over there has a lot to say

(1:49); "아, 차 하면 구름 위 끝이 없는 부름이. 감사하지 준비 다이아 미소 flirting" When I shout “Ah Cha”, it’s a never-ending call above the clouds. Be thankful, I’m ready with a diamond smile, flirting

(1:54); [Backing up Mingi's vocals]

(1:56); "씹어 먹어버려 바로 Yeah like this" Chew it up right away, Yeah like this

(2:17); "관심 없어, love call, 씹어버려, keep 'em shut" Not Interested in a Love call. Chew ‘em up and Keep ‘em shut

(2:42); [Harmonizing with the background vocals]

• I honestly love all of them but the Giselle one has to be my favorite by far! I love everything about this design, especially the way your editing really highlights the concept 🤭I have to admit though the Wonyoung one is a very close second because it makes me think about older Japanese magazine covers! (If I had to pick one for Hima I'd say Yeji's 'Born to Be' concept photos, especially the ones with the hood...this woman is so beautiful omg). These are so cool though! I always love when people make things like this because it takes the pictures to a whole new level!

Mwaahhh I love you too sweet! 😘 The snow is melting now so it's getting warmer (finally!) but I'm still huddled in my coat don't worry! Take care of yourself and I hope you're enjoying your break from uni 🩷🩷

[cuntryd0g]

Buck x Eddie (Buddie)

Pride kisses week one day two : surprised kisses

First time writing for them (＾∀＾)

Totally didn't post it early by accident, but got it finished! Kinda rushed

It was Buck's first Pride since coming out. He was excited! He's been to several of them over the years with childhood friends and then with Hen and the others. However, it was different this time. He wasn't just going as an ally this time.

Buck stood in front of the mirror, checking himself over. He was dressed like usual but now with a bisexual Pride shirt and his curls more prominent. He knew to dress simple because he'd always get several pins and more while there. It was basically tradition at this point. Especially with Chris. He couldn't help but to get him whatever he wanted. He loved to spoil the kid (even if Eddie scolded him for it).

After sending a text confirming where they were all meeting up at, Buck grabbed his keys and headed out.

The pride parades always went by the station, so he knew to park there. It was the easiest place for the 118 family to meet up at.

"Buck!"

He turned just in time to catch an arm full of Christopher. He ruffled the boy's hair. "Hey Chris. See you've already found the facepaint booth." He laughed, glancing at the tiger on Chris's cheek. He glanced back up, feeling eyes on them. Eddie was smiling at them as he approached, the rest of the team not to far behind.

Buck couldn't decode the look on Eddie's face but Hen could. She shared a look with Chimney and Karen. "$10 bucks it happens today." She whispered to the other two.

Eddie moved towards Buck and Chris (the three completely unaware to what was happening).

"C'mon Buck! Come get facepaint too!"

Eddie felt a warm feeling settling in him as he watched Chris try to tug Buck along. It looked like an eager kid pulling their dad along (who pretended to be annoyed but was clearly happy with it). Huh. That thought again. He chose to ignore it and kept moving behind the two.

"Dad, you should get paint too! You can match with Buck!"

Eddie wasn't sure about it at first, but after seeing the double puppy dog eyes, he couldn't say no. "Alright, alright. I'll do it." He sat down across from Buck.

Chris knew Buck was doing a bi flag rainbow, so he chose a simple rainbow for his dad. "Matching."

The two men looked at their faces in the mirror. Bucky's was on his right cheek, and Eddie had his on the left. "Yep, matching." Buck repeated, cheeks warming beneath the paint.

The two men carried on through enjoying the parade and different booths with Chris Buck buying whatever caught Chris's attention, much to Eddie's dismay (Eddie knew they needed to talk about that).

"Dad I'm hungry."

Eddie ruffled Chris's hair. "How about we get pizza and head home? I might let you stay up a little later to play video games with Buck."

Chris easily agreed. They regrouped with everyone else and took a few pictures before going their separate ways. They decided to leave Buck's jeep at the station, and he rode back with Eddie and Chris.

The night was filled with pepperoni pizza, ice cream, and video games. With Eddie complaining about losing (repeatedly) to Buck. Eventually the night came to an end. The two men got Chris ready for bed, Buck ruffling his hair one last time. "Night buddy."

The two quietly left Chris's room. As they worked together cleaning up the living room, Eddie spoke up. "Thank you, Evan."

Buck paused, glancing at Eddie. "Huh? What for?"

Eddie shrugged, a small grin on his lips. "For being you. All that you do for Chris, for me. I appreciate it. Appreciate you."

He stepped closer, leaving barely any space between them. "You're amazing, Evan Buckley and I don't tell you enough." He took a chance, leaning down to kiss Buck's cheek. "Night Buck." He patted his shoulder once before disappearing down the hall to his room.

Buck stood there in shock, cheeks red. Oh fuck, he needed to talk to Hen. He dialed her number quickly. He didn't even let her speak.

"Eddie kissed me!"

[lolhex12]

shin soukoku brainrot

disclaimer: all i know abt BSD is from watching the anime and countless tiktoks full of manga spoilers. that being said, i have no idea what's canon and what isn't or the details of what's happening in the manga.

in which atsushi can fully transform in tiger form at will (bc i'm a sucker for that)

- at the end of the current arc, the ada needs to give a member to the pm so, in a meeting where all ada and pm members are present, mori is looking directly at dazai bc as much as he would've preferred to have yosano, he can't bc of her agreed immunity.

dazai is distraught bc "why does only yosano have immunity? why would fukuzawa only protect her and not him? he'd rather die than go back to the pm!" everyone is shocked to see such a strong reaction from dazai bc that's the guy who can't be fazed by anything.

atsushi, seeing his mentor's distress, stands up: "uhm, i offer to switch over"

everyone's focus and shock shifts to him. why would sweet innocent atsushi want to switch to an organization that kills ppl (among other things)?

mori, with a raised eyebrow: "you....'offer'?"

atsushi: "i offer under one condition"

mori, intrigued: "do tell, kid"

atsushi: "i'll join the pm but i get to work only with akutagawa; join him on all his missions, like a permanent +1"

akutagawa's standing behind mori like 'wtf'. mori, amused, turns to akutagawa: "what's your opinion on this?"

akutagawa, composing himself with a cough: "ahm, his prospects look promising in terms of ability and skill. and... previous teamwork between the two of us has proven... effective..."

mori squints at his hesitation when chuuya butts in: "sir, if i may"

mori gives him the go-ahead. chuuya: "sir, i believe the white tiger would be a better pick than dazai, seeing how much more willing and cooperative he seems than someone who's deserted us before. if he left us once, what stops him from doing it again? all due respect and consideration, i believe we should opt for fresh blood here"

mori hums, thinking abt chuuya's words. he turns back to atsushi: "why are you offering to join the mafia, kid?"

atsushi: "to annoy akutagawa," he says with an exaggerated smile. mori starts laughing while everyone there's just like 'what? srsly?'

akutagawa, eye twitching: "sir, i take it back. his ability is shit and he has no skill at all"

mori: "declined. i've already made my decision. i feel like this will be as entertaining as the old double black, so i'll allow it." he turns back to atsushi: "welcome to the team, kid"

the meeting wraps up, atsushi goes to akutagawa to remind him how they're stuck together now and how he'll make sure akutagawa keeps his promise to him (abt not killing ppl for six months).

before mori leaves, he turns to dazai: "that kid may have saved you today, but next time i'll be more insistent on what i want and make sure i get it." a chill goes down dazai's spine at those words, as if he didn't already feel bad that atsushi basically sacrificed himself for him. the ada misses their tiger boy while said tiger's having the time of his life making akutagawa's life harder.

(the main reason atsushi insisted he exclusively worked with akutagawa is bc he knew he wouldn't have to kill anyone due to their promise. akutagawa is the safest option for atsushi to keep his integrity and morals clean if he had to join the pm)

- sskk who work together show up at meetings with akutagawa riding on atsushi's back in full tiger form. atsushi kneels when they reach akutagawa's chair, akutagawa then dismounts his tiger and waits for atsushi to de-transform so he can pull atsushi up and draw him a chair next to his. akutagawa makes sure atsushi sits down before him despite being his personal transportation method. (bc we love equality and respect like that) akutagawa rides his tiger only when he feels more sick than usual or when he wants to prove a point (that they're a power couple, as 'work partners' ofc <- #denial)

- once atsushi comes to prefer his full tiger form rather than human form, he'll go into meetings with akutagawa and sit down next to his leg with his head on akutagawa's lap, who will in turn pet him through the entire meeting and even when atsushi starts purring, no one dares comment on it bc they don't want to get their tongues cut off

- after a hard fight, akutagawa has a coughing fit and is so exhausted he passes out. atsushi then fully transforms into the white tiger and picks up akutagawa like a cat picks up her cub and places him on his back to get back to safety

- akutagawa sleeping curled up around his tiger. cuddly and comfy and warm

- someone, probably gin, hearing a bad coughing fit coming from akutagawa's room but when they go check they see atsushi sitting on akutagawa's bed, rubbing his back with a glass of water in his other hand, waiting until the cough subsides so his partner can drink it [after the current arc, ppl suspect akutagawa's cough would go away bc of the regen powers or whatever but i love angst so i left it in :) ]

just,,,,sskk being a power couple and atsushi having full control of his ability. he's just a big cat to me (and to akutagawa, who absolutely loves his feline partner)

again, i know very little abt the story and characters so pls don't come for me ><

[ptolomeia]

Who wants to hear my thoughts on how my disability, fatness and grief all intersect?

If the answer is not you, please press j to continue to the next post!

So, we're coming up on a year now since our disability meant we had to come to terms with the fact that we would never be able to work and had to drop out of school for our dream job and become a housebound/bedbound lump person. Now my dream job was in construction, it was unionized and extremely well paid and I was three months short of graduating when reality became undeniable. I was never going to be able to do this.

I may have been the only person in my class who had to double check the weight capacity of my harness and shock absorber, but I was fucking good at the work. One of my teachers had me tutoring classmates before the brain fog made that impossible. And while it was hard to find clothes that fit me, mens clothes typically came in larger sizes, which worked for me.

And then came MECFS, slowly robbing my life of, well, most things really. Including, but very much not limited to, my sense of identity and my dream job.

Being a poor student, I didn't really have many clothes that didn't fit with that life. And being very fat, i couldnt exactly go to a mall and buy fast fashion that suited me better for cheap. So, I find myself almost a year down the line with still not many clothes that make me feel good or happy or non additional grief.

Which brings me to my next set of issues. Due to sensory and temperature regulation issues, I can only wear natural breathable fibers (another thing that cuts me off from fast fashion). Between the exhaustion from my ME/CFS and my sensory issues, shopping is hard on me.

But HAHA! I think. I've been sewing on and off for near two decades now (ow my brain). I can just sew myself a new wardrobe! Besides, the non construction worker styles I like (vintage 40s-50s) is even harder to find plus sized, well fitting anyway. If I can't do my dream job, at least I can enjoy some expertly sewn (eh, close enough), perfectly (that could probably use some quotes) fitting clothes in a style I've long loved but thought impractical!

Except, here's the thing. Sewing requires energy. Laying out and cutting out fabric requires energy. It requires precision and focus and when I only have a few good hours a day and have to take care of myself and my home on top of my sewing ambitions...

Last summer I made a pair of shorts (two front pieces, two back pieces, a fly, a waist band, belt loops, 4 pockets and facings) in three days at the start of my decline, and that was on top of doing some basic renovations at my parents house. Last month, an extremely simple t-shirt (front, back, two sleeves and a neckband) took me... a week? More? And there's so much more I want to make working through my stash. Pj's that aren't falling apart. A new raincoat and a new fall coat. A simple 1950s style dress in a wonderfully loud plaid that would just be so much fun.

But this morning I was trying to get my jersey to lie flat and nearly ended up crying (knits are the devil fabric. Curse them and their comfort and stretch). There are days where it feels like there is nothing this disease won't take from me.

But at the same time... even if a year ago I could have trimmed assembled and cut out a pattern in one day, at least today I got to trim the papers? And even if cutting out that jersey took more fabric that it strictly needed to, at least I'm one step closer to having some new, hole free pjs.

So, even as i grieve the many many things I lost, I try to hold to what I still can do. And also rail against the world for making things harder for fat people than they need to be. Because seriously, I'm having to learn to make my own patterns (and yes, they will fit better but that is not the point) because most patterns (and definitely none of the big commercial ones) come in anything close to my measurements. This makes me extremely annoyed.

But yeah, to sum up, disability, fatness, grief, and hope all make a very complex ball. And I wish it could be easier

[maknxie]

Princesses - Chapter One ! <3

<3

Chapter One - "The Princess of Cryo."

The Cold breeze hit the Princess's unusually big bedroom. The Balcony double doors were open as the wind came and hit up against the skin of the youngest royal bloodline in Orphus. Orphus, the Country of Cryo, With snow all over the ground and known for it's beautiful scenery 

The Princess Shivered from the cold atmosphere. Her unconscious relaxed body awoke, waking her peaceful dream. A yawn escaped her mouth as she sat up, blinking a few times before getting out of her king sized bed and slowly and lightly stepping over to the balcony, admiring the dark void black nightfall sky, before slowly sighing briefly closing her balcony doors.

She looked around her room, with her silk warm vanilla colored blankets and tile floor with carpet framing the bed. And hearing a meowing sound that came from under her bed, Walking over and going on her knees on the carpeted surface lifting up all the blankets to find a pair of hazel cat eyes looking at her, then crawling and purring on her lap.

"Oh dear Sirelle, I thought I lost you."

She smiled at the small black creature, holding it up to her face as she giggled and laughed at the kitten, her dearest pet companion, Sirelle. 

                                                                       ~ ! ~ Later that morning ~ ! ~

She looked down at her phone, 6:09 AM. Muttered curse words came from her month, a first day in a non-royal school is NOT Ideal. Then when she was just about to fall back asleep, a new voice appeared at her door, she just sighed then took her steps as she walked to her doors and opened them, seeing a very young girl standing at her door. 

"Ms. Saki, Your mother wants you downstairs by 7:30 am, here's your uniform," The girl bowed, as she was holding out her uniform. Staring at the younger girl in confusion but took it.

"You're not Ms.Kiki... Who are you?"

"I'm Miss Yokki, I'm Ms.Kiki's Younger sister, She fell in a sickness lately, I'm just feeling in for her absence today, and most likely will for now on until further notice."

"Is she okay? and aren't you 12 or 13? shouldn't you be at home or school currently?"

"Well yes, she's in better conditionthen how she was yesterday, that is. I can't exactly, mother said work is much more important for money, but that is not important! I must not talk about such personal problems to the dear princess!" She bowed and started to apologize over and over. Tsumugi was confused and grabbed some random money stack on her dresser and grabbed the girl's hand and gently put the money on her palm.

"There, I don't need a servant for today, okay? just go home." The young girl stared at her in surprise, and confusion, her mouth agape opening to speak but slowly shuts it, and nods, hesitantly reaches for a hug. The Princess smiles and kneels down hugging the child before it walks away smiling ear-to-ear, basically floating.

Tsumugi took a shower, did her hair and got her uniform on before doing the little makeup she did. After she sprayed some perfume on grabbed her backpack, flinging it over her shoulder before making her way downstairs to find her dad missing and her mom there waiting for her with her brother eating most likely all the food in the kitchen.

"Kuro. I'm glad you decided to come and actually talk to me."

"So...Why'd you want to talk to me?"

"About the school, Dumbass." Tsumugi's older brother stated in an annoyed tone, Tsuzuku Kaito Saki.

"Kaito! What Did I say about those foul words! That's not helping you get the spot for the next crown, you better get your act together."

He scoffed and rolled his eyes letting out a 'tch' before walking out the house.

Tsumugi stared at the situation, in a way... she pitied her brother, she'd be angered too if her mother took her spot away from the crown if she was 'irresponsible' when he's 19, and it's mainly mother's fault she's such a boomer she doesn't get the way older brothers are, it's just in they're nature.

"As I was saying, Kaito was right. This is about School, And Don't ask me about why you're moving schools, I'm not saying."

"...Why is that?..."

"I'm not saying, your father  forbade me to tell you or your brother, nor me..." she mumbled the last part, she sounded disappointed.

'of course it was fathers doing... it's always him!'

"Is there anything I need to know about this school?" she attempted to speak gently but the anger was evident in her voice, maybe that's an understatement.

My Fathers actions always made me question why he was king in the first place! I mean even Tsuzuku would be a better king then this scumbag! Seriously, it's one of the only things that makes me fume. My dad is so immature and too angry in a way he's not even tolerable anymore, but he is the one with the bloodline, and let me guess, father is in Bhumi again just to yell at the King and Queen. His reasons are just so foolishly dim-witted, And Speaking of witted, It's so Widdiful, I feel bad for everyone he decapitated for no reason, he needs to desist.

"I'm Afraid I have no more knowledge of it, you will most likely have to ask your principal that."

Tsumugi nodded. 

________________________________________________________________________________

                                                                                         ~ ! ~ TIMESKIP ~ ! ~                                                                                                                                             (BC I'M LAZY AND IDK WHAT TO DO)

________________________________________________________________________________

 At The School, my moms car dropped me off. I was met with a Woman, a very.. Powerful aura? more Dominant actually.. She had Long Black hair, like me. Her eyes Grey, like a charcoal grey. With pale skin, like a porcelain doll, her vibe was.. Intimidating to say the least, her posture very confident and straight, powerful. This was the principle?.. What kinda school is this that I'm attending for this year.. is it okay to be scared a little right now?..

"So, This is Dear Ms.Tsumugi? Greetings, your highness."

"It's a pleasure meeting you as well, Miss.?" 

"Mrs. Rae." "Thank you, Mrs. Rae." Tsumugi bowed as a greeting, Mrs. Rae bowing back.

________________________________________________________________________________                                                                        A/N (Author's note)

- I can't think of any ideas for the rest of the introduction for Mrs. Rae so stopping it and introducing a new character in the next chapter! (One of the main 5 besides the MAIN MAIN Protagonist Tsumugi) 

- uhm... so I'm new to writing on wattpad and Tumblr :{

- PLEASE GIVE ME FEEDBACK !!! On spelling mistakes or just something in general that's wrong !! please! :<

- Don't bully or make mean comments.

- Open to suggestions of ideas just in case!! - Finished Chapter on 4/26/25 at 1:03 AM !

- Words for Chapter - (1133)

- Thank you if you read this ! Love you<33

________________________________________________________________________________

                                                             ~!~ Thank you so much again <3 ~!~                                                                                      - Maknxie <3

[malboraslihan]

hello friends <3 it's been a while since i posted a plotting call / interest post so i finally sat down today and wrote (more like assembled) plots / threads ideas i've been wanting to do. if you're interested in any of those LIKE THIS POST and i'll send you a message. just an important observation: we don't need to actually plot out most of these (some require working out details but that's it), if you want to write that plot with me just tell me which one and which muse you're interested and i'll write you a starter! so yeah basically, if you like any of those: * like the post * tell me which plot and which muse you want me to use (or which muse you think would work from your end so i can figure out who to use!) * i'll write you that starter

some need to knows... ig?

please do not worry about "making it fair" or anything like that, most of these plots are for my males and they're actual muses i want to develop so don't feel pressured to only choose one or all that.

on that same note, do not ask for a plot with one my girls just because you want one from my men. i honestly prepfer you pick plots you actually want to do instead of doubling threads and shit like that.

i'm open to plotting! but if we're gonna do it, i'd prefer we do it on discord cause the tumblr ims are always glitching to me and i keep losing tracks of things. so, if you wanna talk about things AND I'D LOVE TO, just lmk and i'll message you / give you my discord as well. (also, if we rp on discord and you wanna write some of these there, i'm obvs open<3)

these plots do not all need to be f/m ! i'm very open to make most of them f/f and while i'm a little more selective with who i write m/m plots, i'm willing to work things out if you have an idea :)

the bianchi reign

you're dating the mob boss / you're his sister / daughter and i'm his second in command but i can't stay away from you and you quickly realize it and we're flirting but if anyone finds out i'm dead

i'm infiltrating your gang to try and destroy it but we started sleeping together and it turns out there's feelings now but i just got an order to murder / kidnap you so now what

we were never close, i always thought you were annoying and now you fucked up big time on a mission and my father who's your boss wants to kill you but i marry you to stop him (insp)

i faked my own death to protect you/stop people from killing me/save our people and now three years later i send you a text asking you to meet me and at first you think it's a joke but then you come anyway and hi i'm alive (for noah!!!)

“we got framed for a crime we didn’t commit so now we’re on the run and having to kill and steal to survive and avoid arrest and now we really are dangerous criminals” au (maybe the crime was actually a fuck up inside the gang so now they're wanted <3) (for lorenzo or hazel)

the hawthorne family

you're dating my brother but he's constantly leaving you alone during events or even family trips to kiss my dad's ass and try to maintain his job so i keep you company until we're both drunk one night and i let it slip that i would love to kiss you

a plot where he’s a little too old for her but she doesn’t care. he thinks she’s immature and too reckless with her behavior. but she’s hellbent on proving him otherwise. so she applies for the position of his new personal assistant and he can’t help but appreciate her determination. of course he hires her but he does nothing short of giving her a hard time because this is her first job and she has no idea what she’s doing. but crap he finds her crying in the bathroom and his first instinct is to hold her and comfort her. he can’t believe he’s the cause of this and wises up fast. also maybe it has to do with his now urge to protect her. (for arthur)

not another rockstar by maisie peters.. just that toxic good old fangirl x stupid rockstar dynamic (for jean/hunter)

“you read one of my thirst tweets on a talk show and now my thirst is a minor internet sensation, so thanks for that” au (for hunter, jean)

‘we had a one night stand a couple of weekends ago and i really didn’t think i’d ever see you again but wow, now i’m sitting in your office interviewing for a job but all i can think about is the incredible s3x we had’ (for adam or arthur)

rich kids

a poly relationship, could someone who is just as rich as them or someone who isn't and they're spoiling the fuck out of them... someone who worked for one of them before or a friend idk (mostly for gigi, hunter and sara) (insp)

since i’m on a sugar baby phase imagine a plot where a college student is absolutely pampered by annoymous guy. all he asks in return is to be remained mysterious, occasion nudes, and all the attention he craves. she’s all too willing to give it for the pretty penny he’s offering. but her birthday comes around and he surprises her with a trip to see her favorite singer / actor with vip access / meet & oh hold a second, how does he know my name ? (for jean or hunter / hae park (nicha yontararak fc) / angel)

someone give me a thread where this rich dude falls for the normal down to earth girl nd introduces her to his world full of private jets nd yachts nd all that stuff and yES PLEASE

acotar/royal

we're fighting in different sides of a war and when we meet during a negotiation we find out we're mated

stuck in a mission together and we've always hated each other but then it's freezing cold and we have only one bed in this shitty cabin we're staying for the night so we should cuddle

you are supposed to get married to make peace between our countries/courts but we hate each other and we're constantly bickering and fighting and i think you might have actually tried to kill me once or twice (insp)

harbor springs

a plot based on ‘tis the damn season…. small town, childhood friends, one stayed put and the other moved away for college… now comes back for the holidays ten years later… pls

based on stick season by noah kahan: we were best friend since day one, dated during high school and broke up because you left for college / pursue your dreams and i stayed behind but one day i get a notification from you that you liked a photo or you shared a by pic and i liked and we just go back to talking and we're getting close again until you invite me to spend summer with you wherever you are and i actually been saving up money to leave town so i go and when i see you again i know i'm definitely still in love with you (for videl, keegan, ivy, patrick, angel, rani)

sports themed

(the nationals + tobias + gregory)

based on the trade by ki stephens: the hockey team has a tradition of trading dates during the end of season dinner and i invite you and make my best friend invite your roommate cause i wanna get with her but we actually start getting close and i fall in love with you but at the night of the dinner one of the guy spills everything (for benny or gael)

based on the deal by elle kennedy: i'll pretend i'm your boyfriend if you agree to tutor me and of course we fall in love (for benny, keegan or dane)

based on icebreaker by hannah grace: you hate hockey players and you say that to my face after i make a move on you so now i have to prove you wrong (bonus points if she's a figure skater and he has to help her after her partner bails or smt) (bonus points if they share the same rink so they're always bickering about late practices and shit) (for benny, keegan or gael)

he left his hometown to play professional and ended up breaking up with high school sweetheart because the distance and the busy schedule was just too much but a few years later he's won the superbowl and he's miserable and he meets her at some random party in his new town and wait she's engaged to someone else (for tobias, greg, benny, keegan)

plot where muse a is a star athlete on a professional team, and they go to a bar/pub after a great victory, where they meet muse b - a very attractive, bitter stranger wearing a fan jersey from the rival team.

 a frat boy who’s like every normal frat boy. he drinks too much, he parties, and he sleeps with random girls but everything changes when he’s around the girl from back home. the girl that really matters to him. he doesn’t want to admit that he likes her a lot but, that’s what it comes down to when one of the guys in his frat house wants to hook up with her and she’s perfectly willing. (for benny or keegan)

horror plots

some spooky muses i made <3

muse a and muse b get stranded on a roadtrip and are offered a place to stay by a friendly looking local, only to find out they’re a serial killer looking to make them their next two victims. ( + bonus points if they’re exes who literally just broke up minutes before their car broke down??? the drama )

based on x, we're renting a farm house to film a college project / independent horror film / porn and one of our friends disappears on the first day and then our car disappears and now we don't know what to do cause there's no one around and the nearest stop was a forty minutes car drive away

i made you join a cult with me (recruited you / joined with you / made you join whatever) but now shit is happening and you're miserable and i can't bear to see you like this cause i actually grew too fond of you so i don't know what to do but i keep protecting you a little too much and people are going to realize at some point (for ubon or milo)

misc

popular girl x her best friend.. bonus points if the popular girl has a boyfriend or is constantly hooking up with different people (for ivy, giovana, madeline, rani)

church girl + unholy bf (for rani) and the opposite church boy + unholy gf (for jacob, videl)

lacy by olivia rodrigo: you're dating my ex boyfriend but i'm actually obsessed with you and not really sorry that i lost him. (bonus points if they're in the same friend group) (for giovana, madeline, anastasia, grace, hazal, saja)

i really want a plot based two weeks ago by maisie peters.. the whole vibe of being in love with someone and have it finally happen before they need to get on a plane and go somewhere else? really want to explore the long distance relationship situation with all the jealousy and missed calls, timezones that don’t match (for literally anyone.. but some that i could see this working with are: jacob, videl, benny thompson, gigi, rani, ivy, pinar)

i'm pretty sure my husband/boyfriend is cheating on me so i go out to do the same but i can't just sleep with a random but then i meet you, my long time friend and we end up talking and laughing until i kiss you and we hook up but now i'm trying to work things out with my husband/boyfriend but i can't stop thinking about you (insp) (for anastasia, fatma, grace, nari / arthur, finnley, keegan, tobias)

“your ex hired me to make you fall in love with me then break your heart but oops i think i fell in love and now i’m conflicted what the fuck is happening i’m supposed to hurt you ow what am i sUPPOSED TO DO” (for gigi, gael, theo hughes (kaden h fc))

he fucked up big time but he never forgot about her and was constantly trying to fix their relationship until at some point he gives up and that's when she finally texts back / shows up at his door (for jacob, patrick, videl, arthur / hazal, verda) insp

a nice, shy, nerdy boy who literally no one pays attention to asks the popular, outgoing, ray of sunshine out and she was so confused and didn’t think he meant it at first but she agrees anyway because she doesn’t want him to feel bad because she sees that he really tried so hard to ask her out? and maybe it didn’t work out so well at first but he tries again anyway? it doesn’t work a few times because of her schedule but he’s really sweet so she agrees to another more because it wouldn’t hurt and by the end of the date he works up the courage to ask if he could kiss her and she reluctantly says okay - and completely underestimates him but holy shit that wasn’t a chaste kiss? and before she knows it her clothes are on the floor and he’s fucking her like a whore but she’s so intO IT? (for sebastian aka my luke hemmings fc muse)

accidentally swapped phones with someone at a party and don’t realize until their mom calls in the morning and you spend like three hours talking to this hilarious woman about life and when you go to her house to return her kid’s phone wow the kid is the really good kisser from the party last night au (for maddie, videl, benny, aurora, tobias)

we dated in high school, i wrote a book about you five years later and now you’re at a fan event asking for an autograph.. (for the writer: maddie / for the ex: benny, benny hawthorne, tobias, videl)

“i’ve lost my memory and idk who you are but i just have this feeling that i’m supposed to trust you” (for arthur, videl, jacob)

“i’m in love with you and i just watched you get proposed to by your boyfriend right before my eyes and now i’m upset”  (for jacob, patrick, keegan)

before trilogy inspired: we were the only ones waiting for a train but it was delayed for twelve hours / our next flight connection is not until tomorrow and we just decide to walk around the city and we end up kissing, i like you too much and i don't wanna lose this but it's time to go and we make a pact to come back here next month but we never actually do for different reasons and then 3/5/10 years later we meet again somewhere else.. (for ivy, rani, hunter or saja)

[studentbyday]

hello, i drafted an aesthetic studyblr post for today, but didn't feel like posting it bc today is an ugly rant kind of day. (more kermits under the cut)

AAAAHHHHHH STUPID FREAKING WINDOWS- 😩😫😭🤬🤬🤬 so i was working on my laptop for these past few days which uses a different ms office version from the computer i switched to today and all my work was LOST!! 😭😭 all the notes i took on OneNote (at least it was just the psyc notes i had done on the laptop - idk what i would do if biochem or mol bio notes were lost. i'd probably cry for real) and all the work i did on that biochem paper? GONE!! my brother uses LibreOffice so i finally switched to that (altho their UI isn't that nice). at this point, i might as well switch to linux (unless that would cause unforeseen problems if i still sometimes do work on windows? idk) 😅 any recs for free notes apps that have a small learning curve and are OneNote-like?

the STRANGEST part is, some of the notes and lost files came back as i was working?? i didn't do anything and i *swear* i wasn't seeing things, so like, WTF??? not that i'm complaining. i hope the entire week of psyc notes i lost comes back. if not, i'll probs rewrite them if i have time. i hope i have time. i really hate this.

also, good thing i didn't like the way i wrote the biochem paper so far. i rewrote the thing in a google doc instead just to be safe and i like the way it flows much better now. AND!!! it's super annoying that i had to do this, but my handwritten notes on the main article i'm basing my paper on were confusing me. like, in terms of the flow of the biochemistry. so i basically rewrote those notes, doing this huge web in paint and idk if i could've done that on the first read instead of the way i did it. i hate feeling like i've done double work.

after rewriting the paper (i'm not even done yet - there are several things i wanna add yet and some facts i wanna clarify) and my notes on the article for said paper, i was exhausted. i tried to switch gears by reading the instructions/background for the biochem discussion post due tmr (that i was supposed to write today 😒) but i don't get it. it's like i didn't cover lipoproteins at all! i don't remember anything! what am i here* for if i can't remember anything?!

update: i answered 1 question for the discussion post. i still have to answer 1 more but i need to finish reading the background info first.

ALSO! i was supposed to study for 6+ hours today. i have no idea how long i actually studied bc i kept stopping and starting the study with me video and i worked through the breaks anyway, so the dinging timers were just annoying.

*"here" as in at uni, studying, although if in the right mood, it could also expand to my entire existence 🙂 (luckily i'm too angry rn to feel philosophical 😒)

okay, let's try not to end so sour. good things that happened today:

physio exercises ✅

skincare ✅ (i have added lip balm to the list asides from lotion bc the chapped state hurts 🙁)

mol bio quiz ✅

journal ✅

tomorrow will be better. and if it doesn't start out right, imma fight it until it is and i won't be defeated 😠

[bishiglomper]

After this whole trouble with drawing that darn foot I'm like. I need to practice. Do some ref studies and stuff. Find some krita tutorials because I'm still barely using it. (I'm still not sure how to do basic artisty functions.) I need to figure out how to color

Especially alastor hair because thats always what gets me, its so fuckin weird. I used to be able to color but I can't figure out how to make my usual method work with that fuckass bob istg

But then I look at the shit I've posted lately and it's like ...

... who am I kidding. I'm not gonna do the extra side quests. I only go back to drawing once in a blue moon (usually when I have a new favorite blorbo) I haven't seriously had fun with it for over a decade.

I don't have the constitution to draw every day. Here I am looking at peoples commissions info trying to figure out how would price mine and then I realize.

Oh.

Yeah, I can't do that.

I don't know what came over me, thinking I could like officially take requests 🙄 meanwhile im.over here flippin DYING just trying to get my new favorite project posted. When it's not even done. Just at a stopping point.

When I did that Niffty one I remember just trying to make it. The whole last quarter was me mentally chanting "just a little longer, just a little more" I didn't get to all the things I wanted, I just wanted it posted. Even if I don't get many notes I still need the instant gratification/dopamine fix of just getting it up there.

Le sigh.

Just frustrated with being physically pained by trying to do literally anything that brings me joy.

I mean being able to do some chores would be nice, but I'm salty about not being able to do a damn fun thing either.

Fun things are easier to find the willpower to push through. It produces the dopamine which in turn fuels it. But by God the backlash is horrible.

Literally just sitting at the desk drawing fucks me up so bad. It fucks my whole arm. It's stiff and tebdonitisy and I can't lift it for like 3 days. And my blister that's constantly there where the pen sits on. I gotta wear a double bandage for a cushion which makes it tolerable. The chair isn't comfortable. I hold my breath constantly. Which I just do when I'm in discomfort. I was super aware of it today..

And as soon as I exit hyperfocus i get hit with the fibro which feels like I'm bring vibrated on a molecular level at a frequency like an opera singer trying to break glass. But on my nervous system. Just this internal shiiiiiiing

It's awful

Not depressed over it but definitely disheartened. Frustrated. Annoyed.

I'm gonna ask my doctor if I can get genetic testing maybe if we can root around in there i could at least get some validation.

A friend who found their EDS diagnosis through genetic testing saidthy had an exome sequencing done

Sounded like I don't need to be looking for anything specific but it can tell me if I have certain things. Like heart disease or something. Im wondering if that weird test the heart doc did was a genetic thing.

Google said whole exome sequencing was good for finding originating deformities and syndromes and the like. I was born with a syndrome/ a collection of things that were enough to tick the box. So I should definitely have something pop up.

I'm hoping I can use that as a foot in the door and maybe my insurance will pay for it. 👀

[golbrocklovely]

let me tell you some fun things that happened to me on my day off.

first off i went to the mall. one of my favorite stores is going out of business, and while i don't need more clothes, when they are 30-50% off…. yes i do.

also the way i basically burn thru jeans bc of my thighs rubbing together………… yall i could write a thesis on why companies need to double line their jeans on the inner thigh for plus size individuals.

anyway, i go there, and i'm not expecting them to have my size. i'm a 20/2x-3x. i've played this game before and always lose. however, i go there and all they have left, basically, is my size and 00s.

god smiled upon me today…. but then decided to throw a curveball for shits and gigs.

come to find out, after looking around and picking the stuff i wanted, their wifi was down and thus the card reader wouldn't work. that's annoying, but hey, the mall has an atm in it. i'll just go downstairs, get money out, come back up and pay. not a problem.

yes, a problem. the atm that was there is no longer there. there now isn't any in the mall at all.

well, thankfully my mom was gracious enough to give me money (she was in the car waiting for me bc we had a bunch of errands to run). so i had to go all the way back upstairs, out the front entrance, to her car, get her money, walk all the way back into the mall, go to the store and then buy my clothes.

i got two shirts, a pair of leggings, and three pairs of pants (one being a pair of cargo pants that I've been dying to get since my last pair ripped)….. $82 yall. that's all i spent. an absolute fucking STEAL.

tried everything on at home, and they all mostly fit. the one pair of jeans was a midrise which was my fault on getting, but it does fit. i just have to wear a baggy shirt to feel comfy. the other two pairs fit however a zipper is busted on one of them. that's fine. i'll fix it later since i'm not exactly wearing these pants anytime soon since it's nice out anymore

i stopped inside of zumiez… they had snc's merch. i'll make a whole separate post about that interaction lol

leave the mall, drive to family dollar. get some stuff that we need for the laundry room and the pups. my dogs go thru bones like their lives depend on it. but now they will be good for a while. also i FINALLY was able to buy a curvy barbie which i've wanted since they started making them all the way back when i was in college or hs. then we went to goodwill and dropped off some clothes. i ran into goodwill and looked at cds. i got some absolute classics:

no strings attached by nsync

believe by cher

the immaculate collection by madonna

and then i got some dvds:

an unopened box set of the first season of glee (i'm dying)

barbie pegasus

spectacular (that weird knock off camp rock movie made by nickelodeon)

overall 8.5/10 day lol

[pbandjesse]

I pushed myself ridiculously hard today. And my back hurts so bad that I have a pillow behind me propping myself up while I'm laying on my side because when I remove the pillow it hurts so bad.

But I really enjoy today and while I was incredibly stressed out thinking about today and ended up being great. And now I'm just stressed out thinking about tomorrow and I know that just means tomorrow also be great probably. It was a really nice day despite the weather.

When I woke up this morning it was pouring outside. I let myself sleep in and woke up around 9:00 and stayed in bed for a long time. I needed to get up and feed sweet tea though and he was being so naughty biting my ankles and my calves. But I felt pretty good and sleeping in honestly make me feel a lot better after how exhausted I had been yesterday.

I also felt really cute today. My hair was doing really nice thing and my makeup was good. I'm trying to wear eyeshadow again to try to fix the issue I'm having with my eyeliner sticking to my eyelid. And it seemed to work. So that's good.

I didn't really know what to do for breakfast. Didn't want cook anything. Once I got all the curtains open and fed sweet pea I looked in the fridge and I found that I had half an omelet from the other day so I want that up. It didn't taste incredible but it was food. And I knew that I was going to take myself to Five guys after my workshop. I had the whole day planned out. I sat at the kitchen island with sweet pea. I had my omelette and a couple little donuts. Which I shared with sweet pea. And I double checked my materials I needed to bring. I had to cut a couple blocks in half because I wanted them to be smaller for the group. Which ended up being incredibly small. The group I mean. But that was fine I was just glad anybody came at all.

I left here around 10:30. I didn't have to be over at the armory until 11:30 but I wanted to stop at Michael's and get more black ink. I was not going to have that issue again because that made me so angry and embarrassed. So I wanted to make sure I have something better. I even had a 30% off coupon.

I poured myself two drinks. A lemonade and a soda and got my umbrella and headed out into the rain. And it was raining very hard. And when I got to the car I realized I left my lemonade and my soda in the house. I had grabbed all my other stuff and forgot those. So I had to go all the way back inside. But it was fine. I was in a really good mood.

I got over to the Michaels and was annoyed that they didn't have any black ink or any actual printmaking ink in the pots I normally buy it. They only have skin printing ink which I've already run into the issue of that not working But they did have a four pack of black yellow and blue block printing ink and I felt like it was too expensive but with my coupon it made it more reasonable at least and I stopped to look at the clearance real quick but then I went to pay and headed out back into the weather. It's all self checkout at the Michaels now but one of the workers still checked on me and she was really nice. I really interacted with a lot of very kind people today and that made me happy.

I was less than a half an hour away from the armory and my GPS said I was going to get there at 11:11 with the rain. And that is basically exactly what happened. The drive was terrible I could hardly see it times. But there was almost no one on the road because I think they were all afraid because it was so bad. Like roads were flooding and I was getting Gail warnings on my phone. But I got over to the armory and that's when my stress started. Because the gate was locked.

I drove past the armory itself and went down the street to the grocery store to wait in the parking lot until I heard from Michael who is my contact. I looked through my email and sent him an email letting him know that I was down the street and then I found his phone number and texted him. Turns out he lives 2 hours away! And he was just stuck in traffic so it was fine. He said when he got there a few minutes before I drove over someone's bumper was stuck in the fence. Like they had driven into it. I didn't see that so it must have happened in the last couple minutes between when I got there and he did. Crazy.

But the workshop ended up being great. He brought his little dog again and she's very sweet. And while I only had two people they were awesome. They were both named Tony. It's probably t o n i. They were sisters and the older sister was a little older than me and the younger sister was probably like 13. And they were so funny. They both have different names but they both go by the nickname Toni. And they were just so nice. I had set up and started a print so that I could be at different steps and show them everything and going off of my experience on Thursday I had like a pretty good system for explaining everything and I think I did a really good job. And both of them were so nice and the two hours went by so quickly we were just having a great time talking about different projects and work and she might contact me to come in with her church which is in the neighborhood that I live in and work with some of the teenage girls there which I think would be lovely and it was just a really nice time. And they kept saying like this was so cool and this was such a good experience. And It was really cool to just introduce them to something that they've never done before. And I explained different ways that they could do it at home because they were both a little intimidated by the idea and I was like well these are some ways that you can do it with stuff that you might already have and some home DIY stuff. And it was great.

While they were working we were talking and I had brought my one book of men illustrations as a reference guide and while I was standing there and they were working I was looking at the book and I'll back it said that there was other versions like one of women I was like oh I should obviously buy that. So I went on eBay and found it for $10 with free shipping. And then I was like hey wait a second on the book itself it said it should be $4 but that was in 1980. Inflation. I'm excited to have the set though. And maybe eventually get the other ones. They apparently have children and animals and food and items. It's a really good reference guide so it would be nice to have more options for when I do these classes.

Once we were finished and I made sure they had my contact information I cleaned everything up and Michael came back with Quinn and I let him know that at one point Gwen was in there playing with a Christmas ornament and she had eaten part of it. But he doesn't think she actually ingested it. I really hope that that's the case because I would feel terrible. I had taken it away from her as soon as I noticed that she was chewing on it. And he said that the rain had stopped. We were very deep into the building where there was no windows so we weren't aware. But I was very glad to go out into the world and it not be pouring as horribly as it had been.

I said goodbye to Michael and let him know that I was available for more stuff and to just let me know and I was even down for helping with their camp again that I had helped before and I didn't mind the very long drive. And he was like whoa that's awesome. So I really hope he does reach out.

And then I had the rest of my day. The armory is right by the Goodwill. And when I went over there I had some amazing finds. I got a pair of ugg driving slippers that are basically new. If I was buying them new I probably would have sized up one but they do fit me very well. I just tend to wear things that are too big for me. And I found a little shelf for $8. And a really cute blue cloth for the top of it. And it's all scratched on top so the cloth covers up the imperfections. So I was doing great. Though it was hard to carry the shelf around the store.

Once I paid I drove a little farther down the street to go to Five guys. And I have a really nice lunch while I worked through the podcast episodes that I apparently had slept through? I thought I was caught up on my show but I started listening to the new episode I'm like I have no idea what's going on. And the breaker whiskey episodes are only like 5 minutes apiece so it wasn't like it was a huge deal to go backwards but I was very confused. I'm going to try to listen to those on a weekly basis because they come out every day but listening to 5 minute chunks is not fun for me. I want at least a half an hour. I do still really recommend that show though. It's very good.

I have texted Meril earlier to ask if my package was delivered because I got an email notification that it was. And she said yes and I was like I'm going to come and get it. So once I was done my lunch I drove out to the museum to say hi to everybody.

And that was great. The sun was basically out by then and I didn't realize that it was the egg drop project at the museum today so it was very busy in there. But it was the end of it so everyone was leaving. But I got to see Jessica and Jesse and Ashley. And I got my package and I did a little unboxing for project at the museum today so it was very busy in there. But it was the end of it so everyone was leaving. But I got to see Jessica and Jesse and Ashley. And I got my package and I did a little unboxing for Meril and Meghan. And it was a lot of my stuff that I had thought for our upcoming trip like the airplane seat foot rest and then stuffable neck pillow and a new tag for our luggage and it was just very silly just opening everything and showing them all the stuff. Especially because I got a whole bunch of fake hair products. Like fake hair that you wear in a ponytail. And they were like why? But my idea is that I'm going to try to figure out how to wear them so they can use them for different looks for the wedding. I haven't 100% figured out what that means yet but we're working on it.

I hung out there for a while just chatting with everybody and catching up. And a little after 3:30 I said goodbye. And decided that before I went home I would drive over to the shopping center and walk around the Five below.

The sun was really out by then and I didn't realize it was going to be so I didn't have my sunglasses and I was kind of dying so I let myself buy some trendy shaped frames from the Five below. And I got nail polish but I ended up hating the color when I got home. Like it's just looked terrible on my fingers. But it's fine. It was worth a shot. And it was $2 so not the worst thing.

I left the Five below and I drove home. I got stuck in a bunch of traffic around the inner harbor. But it was whatever. And when I got home I brought everything inside and went through all of the packages inside my larger package that I have picked up and took all the packaging off of them. And I just use the word packaging so many times. And put everything away. And then went to figure out how I was going to set up the little shelf. And I had a whole plan and ended up working really really well. My original spot I didn't like so I thought about moving one of the two wooden chests that we have over there since the one just has cleaning products in it and I switched out all the cleaning products so that I could put them in the basement with all the other cleaning stuff. And then I moved one of the boxes up to James's room. And then the little shelf fit perfectly and honestly I love how it looks there. And once I was done that I jumped into the next big project of the day. Which was James's room.

I have sent James a drawing the other day about how I thought the layout of the furniture could work better. And they agreed with me and I was not being supervised and so I was very excited to start moving some furniture around.

I was in there for hours. I hung a shelf and I moved a whole bunch of stuff and I just tried to optimize the space. I had a podcast going about creepypastas and was just really enjoying myself. But I also really wanted the couch to be in there. I got the dresser moved and the bookshelf with the plants moved.

Which by the way was a disaster. It started falling apart and one of the plants got knocked over and the things shattered and then I realized it was root bound and I was texting James and I felt so bad and I was trying to move everything and then it just collapsed on me. Thankfully I'd gotten off all the other breakable stuff before that happened but it was very upsetting. But after I did all that I realized how much space was in there now and it would just be so nice for James to have seating in there especially when they have like friends over. And just having flax seeding in your space is so nice. And so I went to try to move the sofa.

Which I don't know if you remember but I got stuck on the stairwell last time I tried to move it by myself. And when me and James had moved it James said that it was just not going to make it on the hallway but I hate being told no. So I wanted to figure it out to surprise them.

But it did not fit. I tried squishing it I tried everything but it was just about 5 in too wide to go down our hallway. So I took a saw to the legs.

I saw the legs off and this was no easy feat. Because I had to make sure it was even. I made the sofa 27 in wide. Which fit down our hallway and at the narrowest point of the doors it was 28 in. So I had to take the doors off because with the doors on it was 25 in. And I've never taken a door off before so that was a whole exciting thing and I have not tried to put them back on yet because I think you need two people for it. So I took off the doors of the little room and of James's room and over-ended the sofa down the hall and I got it in the office. I was very proud of myself but man wasn't ridiculous.

Once I got it in the room I was kind of exhausted but I had torn up James's whole room and I wasn't going to leave it like that. So I took a moment and got a drink and came back and started figuring out how to reattach the legs. This was not easy. And I should probably go back in and add more supports but I drilled the legs on an angle and I put a very long screw in it and then on the one side I used hinges that I had and I put the hinges the wrong direction so that they will act as a brace and it's ugly but it worked. I will definitely have to figure out a more long-term solution at some point but I sat on it for a while and I wiggled around and it seems pretty secure. So baller. I'm the best.

I really can't wait to show my parents everything that we've done in the house for better or for worse. I text my mom some dates the other day and if she is reading this I hope that she answers me and tells me what date will work the best for them. Because I would really like to show them everything.

And once I got the sofa set up I moved a bunch of stuff onto the sofa so that I could continue to work on putting things away best I could. I finally had enough space to vacuum up the dirt from when I knocked over the plants. And I looked at James's closet which they had said was two full to put anything in and I was like James there's barely anything in here you just don't have it laid out well so I took everything out of the closet and I realized that if I took out the wire rack that was in there when we moved I could fit the bookcase that had fallen on me in there and so I drug that back down the hallway and reassembled it and hopefully it is more secure now. And I made sure there's no breakable stuff on it this time because it is too fragile for that. And I just started putting stuff away. I did realize that there's a dead space on the wall that I think James would benefit from having some shelves there and then they can put some other knickknacks up there and open up some more space. But it was looking really good and I went through a couple of the bags of clothes that they have and then it turns out those were donation stuff. I was texting James basically this whole time. And filling the minimum what was going on. So I wasn't doing anything without their permission and they were excited that I was getting so much accomplished and I was feeling so good about getting so much accomplished. Even though I was exhausting myself.

I would finish up as much as I could do around 9:00. And that's what I realized I hadn't eaten since two and I was dying. All of a sudden I was wheezing and shaking and it was horrible. And the quickest thing I could make was the one minute Tikka masala And I toasted a pita and opened it up and filled it with the Tikka masala and just try to eat that as quickly as possible because I was shaking so hard. But I have that and then I had a little bowl of cereal and I felt a lot better.

I was texting Jess and telling her about my ridiculous evening and she was telling me that she was watching a movie and we were both wheezing apparently. Just having a time.

And then I would go and take a shower. And while I was in the shower I freaked myself out and thought I heard someone in the house but it was just the dishwasher. I came out in Sweet pea was being so cute so I knew that since he's not freaked out I don't need to be freaked out. And now we are in bed together. And I am very much ready to go to sleep. I'm going to go take some allergy medication and go to bed.

I have another full day tomorrow. I'm meeting Meghan in the morning for brunch and then I'm subbing at art with a heart. And then I don't know what I'll do after that. Maybe I'll take a nap. But I just hope that the stress that I'm feeling right now is meaningless because I know everything will be great. It's going to be a good day and I hope you all have a lovely evening. Sleep well everybody. Until next time.

[itsjadacusbruhh]

I gave up on K-Pop back in 2018 and came back in 2023.

I was introduced to K-Pop back in 2009 by a family friend of mine who has seen me grow up. At that time, I was a young middle schooler who was curious about a plethora of things, especially music. I started learning to play the guitar but gave up after three lessons.

In 2009, I was learning the basics and what is now considered the fundamentals of the K-Pop world/industry. I was surprised to see that pop girl and boy groups were the majority of the K-Pop scene. The late 2000s was a time when boy groups were the face of the major labels, i.e., 2PM was the face of JYP; Super Junior was the face of SM, Big Bang of YG Entertainment, and BEAST of Cube Entertainment (wow, I'm dating myself here hahaha). Girls Generation had shaken the Hallyu wave, rising in popularity with their iconic songs Gee, Genie, Run Devil Run, and Mr. Taxi; all songs are super catchy with cute choreography that led many to learn and recognize. This was the beginning.

I've learned that idols would participate in variety shows and would sometimes collaborate with other idols from the same generation. It was through these shows that I would learn about their personalities and see another side to these people who have devoted so much of their time, effort, cultivated work ethics, and dedication to their craft. I didn't know I would feel so close to these people who would have no idea who I am. I didn't have my heart set on stanning one group. These second-generation idols were a bunch of Unnies and Oppas that I admired and wished they were legit my own.

As time progressed, more girl and boy groups would debut, and a new generation of K-pop groups would emerge. New trends would begin. New perspectives on the Idol industry would arise.

With these new groups emerging, it was becoming difficult to follow groups. I was into Running Man, and that was when I started liking an individual from a group. I realized how difficult it was for me to keep up with all these groups while most second-gen groups were on a hiatus or were bound to disband due to other activities the Unnies or Oppas started to participate in, such as acting.

In August 2016, Blackpink debuted and was known for their two songs, 휘팡람 WHISTLE, and BOOMBAYAH. They were one of the first K-pop groups to contribute to the trend of double title comebacks or promoting with two songs from their EP or full-length album. From there, groups started to hop on the trend. BTS's popularity was on the verge of slowly rising to where it would be today. I became overwhelmed trying to keep up with groups, and I became annoyed with fans who hopped on the ARMY fandom train. Fandom wars were starting, and I decided to give up on following the newest and latest albums that groups were releasing. I longed for the consistency that the second-gen groups were providing. I didn't realize how simpler things were during the height of second-gen groups.

The busyness of life started to catch onto me. I realized that I had better things to put my focus and attention towards. I ended up not actively listening to K-Pop from 2018 until January 2023. Since then, my life has changed, and I have found myself stanning a girl group with so much in store for them. I rediscovered all the K-pop songs that I hadn't listened to in a long time. I had a different perspective on my approach to K-pop and the Hallyu wave. I learned that as a fan or an active listener, I have a choice (song pops into my head, and I start humming and dancing); I can either make the most out of this or go back to how I viewed all of this before I left.

So here I am now, writing to whoever is reading this post. I'm a Unni or Nuna fan of these fourth-generation groups, a member of the Sunshine Protectors Club, and vested in one specific group that has changed my life.

[9686764755864]

Chapter 4 of my Fanfic

https://archiveofourown.org/works/64877722/chapters/167546329#workskin

8am

Dakota can hear someone opening the door to his apartment. He doesn't really want to open his eyes though. Only 3 people have a key to his apartment- Ida, Gwen, and Octavian. Ida is probably at work (Maybe, Dakota isn't sure what time it is). Gwen definitely wouldn't be here, considering... Well, what happened today. Or yesterday. Whatever time it was. Octavian was in the hospital, which rules him out. Pyscho axe murderer, then. I hope I'm killed quickly... Dakota thinks.

Someone touches his arm. Sort of strange stategy to wake someone up before you kill them.

Said axe murderer drags him onto the sofa. Before- checking his tempature? This murderer needs to go back to murderer school. "What the fuck happened while I was in a coma? I was only not present for about a week and a half. Dakota? I thought you promised to call me or Ida if you felt like drinking like this."

Dakota opens his eyes and immediately closes then again. "You should be in the hospital. You look like shit."

Octavian replies "I got out. Yes, I bribed the doctor. But I'll be fine. Dakota, your slurring. Drink some water."

Dakota opens his eyes and glares "You almost died. You said you wouldn't get yourself killed. You basically killed yourself. You said you wouldn't be like him."

Octavian sighs, before saying "First, I'm not Ida's brother. I'm her cousin. Second, I'm not dead yet, okay? Third, drink your damn water. Please stop crying, if you don't stop I might start crying."

Dakota mumbles "But I'm not crying."

Octavian wipes a few tears away- Okay maybe he was crying. 

Octavian says "You might want to take a shower. Or brush your hair. Or drink more water. Jason's coming over. I gave him your adress- are you wearing my shirt?"

"Why did you give him my adress?! Why didn't you tell him I was sick or something?!" Dakota says, annoyed. He sits up a bit and rests his head on Octavian's shoulder.

"Because we both know he'd come over anyway to make sure you were okay. You realize he picked up several of your habits, right?" Octavian replies.

"Sadly." Dakota mumbles.

"So. Are you going to take a shower? I can't drag you there. We both know i'm weak as shit." Octavian says, raising his eyebrows.

"I'm comfortable." Dakota replies.

"Dakota." Octavian says.

"Yeah?" Dakota says back.

"Take a shower." 

"Maybe." Dakota replies, standing up before almost falling over. If Octavian hadn't catched him he would've hit his head on the floor.

"How much did you drink that you were semi-passed out when I got here and your still drunk?" Octavian says.

"I'm not drunk." Dakota says, while slurring.

"Yes, and I have zero health issues." Octavian says while glaring.

Eventually, Dakota takes a shower and changes clothes.

"I- I have been looking for that hoodie. For months. I've asked you where that hoodie was. You said you didn't know where it was!" Octavian mutters.

"I feel less like i'm going to puke on you." Dakota replies, stretching. 

"Wow... How comforting." Octavian says.

"Are you seriously being sarcastic? I'll puke on you." Dakota replies.

Octavian says "I know your trying to be intimidating but you're about a foot shorter then me."

"When's Jason getting here?" Dakota replies.

Octavian shrugs. After a few moments, someone knocks on the door. Then, discovering it was unlocked, opens it. (Damnit, Octavian. Learn to lock doors once in a while).

"We were just talking about you." Octavian says, comepletely deadpan.

Dakota places his head in his hands. His day was going just fantastic, thank you very much.

Jason does a double take when he see's the two. "When did you two- never mind. I'm glad I won't see anymore of Octavian's stupid pining."

Dakota raises an eyebrow "What pining?"

Octavian ignores the question, instead opting to hide his face in Dakota's hair. 

Dakota looks back at Jason "Why did you want to see me?"

Jason replies "I told Percy I was wanted to make him a Quiche. I... May have forgotten I can't cook."

Dakota sighs, muttering "'Dakota, watch the feral wolf child please' gwen says. 'Please, Dakota, he likes you.' She says. 'He keeps trying to bite me' she says. Damnit, gwendolyn."

"...Dakota?" Jason asks. "What are you mumbling?"

Dakota sighs "I never should have  taught you how to speak. You could speak fine before, who needs to know how to speak more then thirty words anyway. Whatever. Fuck, okay, but your helping me make it. How the hell did I teach you to swear but I never taught you how to cook..." After a moment of the other two staring at him blankly, he replies "...What?"

[sucrevere]

today's office drama:

was at work today. the office i was working in is only has doctor hours on monday and friday atm. somebody fucked up and scheduled a bunch of people for thursday so today my new manager spent part of his morning contacting people and rescheduling them. annoying situation, but nothing crazy. eventually my manager had to take a break because he had to attend a meeting with some higher ups and asked me to finish up the task in between patients. i said sure. still, nothing crazy, right?

well i look at the schedule for thursday. some appointments have been already rescheduled but theres still 8 or 9 people on the schedule that need to be moved. my manager said he left notes on the profiles of patients (mandatory office policy) that he had already contacted so i decide to look for those first to make sure i don't double contact anyone. i very quickly notice that he hadn't made notes on anyones profile at all... not even on the cancellations and rescheduled appointments. obviously, i can't tell who has been contacted already and who hasn't because he didn't follow policy.

ok, sure, annoying, but still not that big of a deal. i decide that ill just wait until he's done with his meeting and ask him directly and remind him of the policy before proceeding. i think he's generally an incompetent guy but he's still new-ish so im trying to not be too harsh on him. it's not a very urgent or sensitive task anyways. 15 or 20 ish minutes later he comes back and asks me how my task is going. i basically say:

"I have all the tabs open, but since I can't tell who's been contacted, I decided to wait for you to come back. Did you forget to leave notes on the patient profiles? or did you write it down somewhere else?"

i really think he just forgot to add notes, but i know he also likes writing things down on physical paper sometimes so i give him some grace. he should still be following office policy, but I would understand if he was just doing things the way he's used to without thinking about it. Well he doesn't like my response.

He starts getting on my ass as to why i didn't just call all the patients anyways. I stand my ground and explain again that i can't tell who he's already called or not. i ask again about him leaving notes. he says he doesn't need to leave notes because he already knows who he called. I remind him that i don't know who he called, so i (and everyone else in the office) need him to write in the profile notes when he calls patients. he pulls up his call log and is like "see, here's everyone i called" I tell him "that's great, can you add that to the patient profile notes so everyone can see it?" he asks me why do i need it in the profile notes if he's showing his log to me right now. I remind him that i don't have access to his call log at my fingertips, and that there's a reason the policy exists so he needs to follow it. he says im asking for too much (???) and says that he'll just finish the task.

annoying and unnecessary encounter. we're both annoyed at the end of it. i firmly believe that i'm in the right but it's really not worth a major argument yet. i have other tasks to be doing as i'm working intake anyways.

a few minutes later, a coworker comes out by the front desk where my manager and I are sitting. manager immediately starts "joking" (im p sure it wasn't a joke lmao) about how i'm lazy and don't like to help him with work. I don't let it slide this time and get on his ass instead. I immediately start with something along the lines of "You weren't following policy and I couldn't do what you asked me because of that. Why did you say that you added notes to the patient profiles when you actually didn't?" and he fucking waffles. he goes "well, maybe i misheard you" and then goes on this tangent about how he's like an elephant and that he never forgets. He says that he'll "take the blame this time" but that he'll remember doing this and i should keep that in mind when we disagree in the future. I can tell this is some kind of weird intimidation tactic so don't give an inch and just say "This disagreement shouldn't happen in the future. Follow policy. Every time you contact a patient you should be making note of it."

he just kinda ended up half apologizing after i said that but i just tuned him out after that because i was really fucking annoyed. mostly ignored him for the rest of the day after that.

[cuppatea87]

Update. TW & CW concerning illness & weight.

Wow, I haven't used this in a while. I think I said in my last product empties post that I had been quite ill. I was off work on sick leave for about 2 months after starting to become ill when I was in Northumberland. Constant waves of nausea everyday, bouts of heartburn & experiencing acid reflux. I ended up being sent home after my managers were worried how everytime I was in work I would have to dash to the toilet because I was genuinely worried I was going to be sick.

Had blood tests which all came back normal as my GP thought I might have kidney stones. At my next appointment with him, he was worried how my heart rate was up, that I lost a bit of weight, that my temperature was up...this worry turned into horror when I suddenly doubled up with chest pain & I was shaking from the pain. He advised that I should go to A & E (which resulted in me having a ECG stuck to my chest & obviously showed nothing was up). At one point I was genuinely worried it was all in my head- however, if it hadn't been for people at work, my other half, my best mate & my GP seeing how ill I was becoming & how much pain I was in, I would have thought I was going crazy.

It was after having a barium swallow xray that I finally got answers- I've got GERD & it's at stage 2. The annoying thing is I did have a doctors appointment in 2021 about feeling like I had a constant lump in my throat or that it felt like I was being choked. Turns out it's a sympton of what I've got. GERD is basically acid reflux but it's chronic. I'm only starting to come to terms with it- I have to watch what I eat (no spicy foods, no chocolate, no tomatoes etc), it's slowing me down (I did 4 days in a row in work last week & it flared my symptons right up). Some days are better than others, some days are horrific & I'm in pain. It can be treated but the only 'cure' is surgery & it can progress to stage 3 & 4- severe & precancerous. I had also lost a lot of weight & became malnourished- couldn't have Ensure milkshakes as they have dairy in which upsets my stomach, however, the lactose free ones flare up my GERD.

Its not all bad though- I did dye my hair today:

My mood is pretty much & down & I'm waiting for therapy.

I hope you're all okay. I will try & do a product empties this month.