#but in the end. if you cant tell the difference and you tick all the boxes... psychosis doesnt just uncheck those boxes. you still fit

[interstellarsystem]

Hey! I'm psychotic, and a writer, and recently I stopped taking my pills and my characters have been talking to me. It's the best feeling in the world. They're with me through everything. I know them inside and out and they know me just as well. Then there's a bossy voice that tells me to take care of myself that I've just been calling Caretaker. I can sometimes let them come forward and see through me. I feel different when that happens, like I'm in the background, but I never really go away. Am I plural? (I do have trauma, but idk if that's where they came from). Is calling myself plural okay? Or am I just a person with psychosis?

Genuinely, if you in any way, for any reason, experience something you'd call being more than one person/entity/identity in a body? You can call yourself plural.

We know of people who call themselves plural based on their hallucinations. We know of people who call themselves plural based on seeing themselves as a spiritual medium. It's not all just DID/OSDD or something you were born with or created plurality. There's no one true plural experience--plurality is simply the sate of being more than one. It doesn't matter where they came from.

You might get some people arguing that "you can't know if these are real headmates or hallucinations!!" but ignore them. We're psychotic and technically because of that, we'd never be able to tell if most identity-things we experience are just a result of psychosis. But that doesn't and shouldn't matter--we experience them anyway. If you experience being plural, and later it turns out to be psychosis or something else.. You still had that experience. You still lived that way. It's a thing you felt and lived and it's a thing that was you, for at least some amount of time. And we think that's enough.

That being said, if you want to call yourself a person with psychosis, that's fine too. You can do whatever you want, it's your identity.

[jackass-jones]

Starfire teen titans my best friend Starfire id burn alive for you

[leychin]

PLAY NICE by @sugoi-and-spice may be the best thing ive ever read and im going to talk about it. I binged it all today. its so good please read it

TW: Mentions of r4pe, panic attacks, abus3, and many other traumas

This may be the best characterization of Shigaraki in fiction ive ever seen. Its realistic and it starts off like he does in season one. A brat, untamed, violent, and impulsive. When we meet him its clear he has no goal and hes throwing shots in the dark, waiting to see what hits. But its deeper than that, and i think spice shows that its shigaraki used to getting what he wants, hes never "failed" before and he doesn't intend to start now.

Its messed up, its all a fucked up situation darling lands herself in. She cant say no, she cant do anything, and in many ways shigaraki is no different. He's doing as his sensei instructs, and its what hes been raised to do and he cant do anything about it either, but at he tries to enjoy what he can.

The relationship is built off of him holding this over her head, she has a good life, good family, friends, and a boyfriend. Shes smart but shes not happy, and even early shigaraki may have been a brat but he was perceptive at least. In the short time they spend together he's learned her quirks, what makes her tick, and how she really is.

they both really do bring the worst out in eachother, but it's also the best isnt it? As the story progresses we see Shigaraki give crumbs of his past or what he remembers of it, and we see her learn to let go of the facade she puts up for everyone else around her. Its not even a healthy relationship, its not like theyre "getting better for eachother" its just a passive effect. Their relationship is still founded on shigaraki very openly r4ping the poor girl and holding her fathers job over her head.

Call it stockholm, but she gets too caught up in the routine of being with Shigaraki and its adorable to see, he can fuck her brains out and then tell her to play black ops 2 with him like its nothing. Its a welcomed click because theyre both lonely, they both need someone, and even if they arent the best people, they end up becoming better i cannot stress that enough.

i dont want to spoil too much of it for anyone who reads my little ramblings on it, but shigaraki opening up to her as time continues, learning, and not just seeing her as an npc is something you need to read and i cant possibly hope to explain. He falls so hard its so good. His thought processes, his panic attacks, his itching, its all so perfect.

Spice you need to pursue a career in writing bc you've made something raw, something real. You wrote a story about two bad people, two people who are bad but better and its gross but its also gross in a cute way. i love you and i love this mwah.

[only-omo]

ok but something ive never heard anybody talk abt ever and they should

tourettes omo

or at least tics, i understand why it may be a touchy subject bc awareness and stuff but like as someone with tourettes can i just say

i get bladder tics

and theyre luckily on the rarer side but like, it is literally ill just be doing stuff and then essentially suddenly either actually just wetting myself, or so ungodly close to it as im fighting the waves of desperation accompanying the muscle spasms and its

actually crazy

but like could you imagine your fc who has ts or some other tic syndrome (ts au ? medication ? idk man) and theyre hanging out with friends just doing whatever or something like that, and basically they just start wetting themselves out of nowhere, leading to prying questions (good naturedly or not) about why they didnt go if they had to that badly

maybe theyre peeshy and this kind of thing is semi normal already; or they arent, and they then have to delve into explanations on the fact that either they didnt know/didnt have to go, met with varying degrees of belief, or that they did know, but they also were certain it wasnt near close to bad enough to have an accident yet, and maybe through rambling even admitting straight up that they literally just pissed themselves regardless of need.

or if they didnt even wet fully, anywhere from a rather messy leak that they cant hide, similar to above; to one thats smaller and less obvious, but maybe they freeze up in a really conspicuous way, still bringing attention to themselves, and maybe they suck at playing it off, or just have really pushy/concerned friends, or both, so they end up still having to admit to just having peed themselves a little, despite there being no immediately visble/no visible damage, and then try to explain that they arent in desperate need of a bathroom despite that

or maybe they are. maybe now their body is confused and theyre teetering on the edge of a full accident all of a sudden. and of course theres the constant worry nagging in the back of their head that theyll tic again and lose it the rest of the way, but also trying not to think about it for fear that focusing on it too much will make it happen, which is an entirely real possibility

not to mention any tics that arent actually their bladder, but help just as little, for instance, i get vocal tics but they arent often real words, so like,, invlountary whines and groans that have nothing to do with anything but sound so desperate, paired with jerky/restless movements that arent a real potty dance but at this point only the one ticking themselves can tell the difference; which doesnt matter much in the end anyway, as theres still a real chance theyll wet regardless

or someone who is actually rather desperate, and theyre trying to play it off for one reason or another, but despite their control in terms of potty dancing, they continually lose focus on their tics, which eventually simulate the same thing, and they keep drawing attention to themselves anyway

the absolute confusion and misdirection it causes for everyone else because no one can ever tell when they actually have to go, and eventually they learn that it doesnt really matter if their bladder isnt already completely empty (which only really lasts for like 5 min after using the bathroom if that, so)

[jaal-ama-daravv]

Dragon Age: The Veilguard Review

i need to put my thoughts into words so hear it goes - dragon age veilguard review

keep in mind my playthrough was the following -

female, elf, mourn watch, romanced emmrich, solavellan import, completed 90%.

full spoilers below - you have been warned!

ill add to this if I think of anything through my next playthrough

Combat

Im gonna cop it for this but I fucking loved it. Its literally fantasy Mass Effect Andromeda. and I have ALWAYS, FUCKING HATED STAFFS FOR A MAGE. Now im a mage ninja and im in heaven.

1000/10

Story

Ill keep this short in a few words -

This is if Mass Effect 2, Mass Effect 3, and Dragon Age 2 had a lovechild. Mass Effect 2 ending choices and companion focus, Mass Effect 3 cinematics with pizazz and impact, Dragon Age 2 haha and compantion depth.

I was genuinely in shock for some outcomes/consequences but other times im like, what, is that IT. looking at you lucanis personal quest

I wish they put more weight on the 'this may be my final mission' but I digress.

The pace was good.

minimal cameos????? I feel bad for anyone who romanced someone in inquisition that wasnt dorian or solas

I was violently sobbing at numerous points and cheering at others. The choices I made, made a difference.

7/10

Solavellan/Solas

Bioware did a good job. They ticked every fucking box for ME personally when it came to the reunion and the ending.

I called it when I said that Solas would turn around and go 'vhenan'.

also talking love to eachother in elvhen? jesus fuck my heart.

I will add that at times i felt like the game was pushing me to hate solas, where if you are coming in from a solavellan experience, can be offputting

I do think they couldve added more OOMPF to solas and his regrets. like one regret about the inquisitor, or mention. but solas keeping his vhenan card close to his chest till the end made me fucking cry like a baby so

regardless, 10/10

Romance w/ Emmrich

I LOVED this romance. It was very well written and suave. The main choice in Emmrich's personal quest does have an impact and I love that. I chose for Emmrich to choose mortality over lichdom in a 'face your fears' type of way.

the romance scene is quirky. sad boy hours there is no naked emmrich.

long story short, sacrificing lichdom causes Emmrich to clench up more and insists that he is a burden to you due to the age difference. The romance still continues but in the LICH path, Emmrich expresses that he is afraid to mourn you for eternity. which i think is way hotter. PLUS. I can HC that my rook seeks lichdom too.

The argument scene has left a hole in my heart

9/10

devastated there is like FOUR WORDS in the epilogue about any romance.

therefore, 8/10

im tired of writing fanfcition bioware just give it to me in game

argument scene

Epilogue

Now this, I have an issue with. It is way too vague. There is no mention of what the companions get up to next, and minimal mention of the world state following the final quest. I mainly remember it just telling me the story isnt over. It is pure sequel baiting, which they couldve still done AND mentioned brief 'what the got up to'. BUT, I shouldnt be too surprised considering this happened with Inquisition as well. Also, huge set up for Rook to be the protagonist in the next game too. WHERE IS THE EPILOGUE SCREEN ABOUT WHAT THEY GET UP TO. I cant with it. Don't get me started on the sequel baiting for a BIG BAD guy in the secret post credit scene where they claim to control all the whacked out characters in the past.

5/10

~~

this is mainly me ranting and/or loving it and my personal views after my initial playthrough

i also love bioware where I will play everything they put out and be thankful I am recieiving something, but do wish they would learn from their mistakes.

[floororangejuice]

BION Information master post!! (abibaz oc)

real image of me after making all of this or something

hit the read more to get blasted with everything or something

HEADS UP!! THINGS WILL BE PURPOSFULLY LEFT OUT OF SOME INFORMATION!

I want people to find some things out through hints and clues hidden in art, so there may be a big chunk missing! Also, his story isn't FULLY finished yet too, so there will be a lot more to come. This post will (if I remember to) be updated along with any major art/information I make about him! (FEEL FREE TO ASK ME ANY QUESTIONS TOO!)

BASIC NEED-TO-KNOW INFO

Bion and Bryne are the same person. Bryne is the person/version of himself when he was alive, and Bion is the spirit that remains after death.

I just wanted to clarify this as this can be something that is easily mistaken if you see me draw them at different times/in different posts, sense at first look they can seem like completely different characters.

In my interp of abibaz, it takes place somewhere in the 90's, so that is also where his story takes place.

BASIC LORE (quick/low effort summary)

Bryne is a poor-ish guy living on his own and looking for a job and in some way ends up applying as an IT guy for the school. He applies for this job because it somewhat relates to his huge interest in computers, and he is already desperate enough for any job so this place seems perfect for him so far.

Upon entering the school for the first time, he can immediately tell something is off. He cant place his finger on exactly what it is but it does raise some red flags for him. Even so, he continues on for his interview and gets hired yadda yadda I dont really know how to explain that part and its not important.

Though, adding to his suspicions about this place, he has to meet and be around Alex now. I dont know how to word it in a good way, but basically he thinks Alex is a massive freak.

As time goes on, he gets more and more curious about what is happening in the school. Kids keep going missing, if there is any at all, and the place constantly smells like iron and rot. Bryne tries to research about the school online, trying to find any documents or reports about the school, like possible crimes that happened or any leads on the disappearances, but keeps coming up empty-handed.

This leads Bryne into a spiral, he keeps trying and trying to find information, it just seems right out of his reach. He spends most of his time at work in his own classroom, in the back with his personal computer most of the time because of this. That computer is like a sort of personal companion to him now, with how much time he has spent there alone with it.

Alex is aware of Bryne's researching, and after a while started to have his own fun with him. Setting up red herrings and letting information slip as a way to reel Bryne back into a game he almost had set up from the start.

Anyways, as time goes on Alex starts to get bored of this, and decides one night to finally get some real enjoyment out of this.

He was ready. The clock seemed to tick exceptionally slow that day, there was nothing different about that day from the rest, all but that usual feeling of dread seeming to hang heavier on Bryne's shoulders.

Alex slinked into his room, looming over him just watching him before making his presence known. He just started talking to Bryne, placing a hand on his shoulder and getting close to his level. Bryne could sense that something was wrong with this little meeting of his, though he did this type of thing this one felt wrong.

Bryne started to head out of his room and to the exit doors, hurrying his pace as he got further away from his room. Though when he finally reached the exit, he found the doors to be locked. No matter how much he tried he couldn't get them undone. He was now stuck here, unsure as to why. He started to panic, Bryne had always been weary of Alex, and now his suspicions have been proven. He was stuck there with a monster.

Now, I dont feel like I have the capability or patience to write the whole next segment, but to quickly summarize it: Bryne gets fucking hunted and chased through the school, becoming exhausted and more panicked over time and ends up heading back to his room, then Alex corners him there and kills him by giving him so much blunt force trauma to the face through smashing his face into a computer screen. yay!

I will probably try and write it out better at a later date when I have it more clearly thought out and have the energy to

anyways, here is a quick demonstration of what that looked like:

really good mock-up i know right

Anyways, after this there is a week period(important) of time where he is dead, his body rotting away, semi-untouched. Bion apears within one of the computers as, well, him, and has to re-learn what it feels like to exist again along with his newfound unstable emotions and overall physical form.

He now has a hatred for Alex that burns brighter than the sun, and in simple terms is extremely violent over even the mention of him.

I'll add more onto Bion's way of processing thought and emotion later, but it is a pretty key part in everything he does. He is extremely impulsive.

MORE ON BION

Bion is a massive recluse, hiding away in his computer most of the time, rarely ever coming out. The computer is his safe space, leaving it even voluntarily causes him to get horribly stressed. The only times he ever fully leaves is when he is driven by an extreme emotion. (usually anger)

Touching him is most times lethal, he is electrically charge. Holding onto him or touching him in general causes a feeling of numbness after a period of time, intensity varying on his emotion and the time touching him. (it feels like when one of your limbs falls asleep, but a bit more painfull)

GAME MECHANIC

If Bion was ever added in game, or if I felt like ever attempting to mass mod the game, his mechanic would be to locate Alex.

He would be a (mostly) neutral character, helping the player by showing where in the map Alex is with a pop-up map. It would only be accessible in his room. Along with this Alex would be unable to enter the room at all, but he could just camp at the door and completely trap you, so it would be wiser to be quick while in Bion's room.

Bion's room is also located in a semi-inconvenient spot, near the end of a very long corridor with the only exit down that hallway being one of the rooms with a red key required door. (I'll add a map of where his room is later)

He also has the chance of being a hostile character too. If you provoke him with enough questions about himself, his past, speak of Alex, or bring a special item to him. Any of these will result in him killing you instantly, or becoming one of the hostile character that chase you in the game from that point on.

I also have an idea with him for an Easter egg ending that is related to his lore, but i have to do some more developing on it before I explain it to the public.

EMOTIONS (?)

Because he is a spirit now, his reactions and emotions are alot more raw and intense, causing him to lash out often or go into violent spirals. He is his greatest enemy. (other than Alex)

His most common emotion that happens is rage, appearing whenever his mind starts going down a path of thoughts about how he was wronged, and the monster that he was wrongfully made into.

His rage and his fear of new things causes him to become more of a recluse than he already was. He cant even go out of his classroom without being reminded of how he was made into such a beast.

Bion can still feel and react like a normal person, and is still somewhat the same man he was. Whither that is good or bad is for you to decide.

The way he comes off when not in any fit of emotions is more flat and mechanical, being inside machinery for so long has changed the way he talks a bit, becoming more formal and thought out.

ART + MORE

Here are my Toyhouse pages for both Bryne and Bion where you can find most if not all of their art, which includes lore art.

(lore art will be specified in the bio of the images, and you can usually tell because there is more effort in the details)

BION

BRYNE

ALSO, Bion has a twitter account! its mostly fun silly stuff, but occasionally there will be lore related posts!

@B10NSC0MPUT3R <- link to his account!!!

btw this is going to be updated with more soon!!!!! im probably going to add some facts + more clarifications later!

[traggalicious]

OKAU. CAIN (AND ASHER). For asher honestly considering making him not a grimwalker, instead a really brainwashed Scout who was assigned to Cain. But ANYWAY more on that later.

SO: Cain is one of the middle-timeline grims, i dunno when timelines hurt me. He’s got cataracts leading to blindness (though he can see differences in light (his eyes are v light-sensitive) and has a more enhanced sense of magic and stuff). He had some time before they developed to that point, took a couple years to go blind, so he ended up having a lotta training. Also, one of his teachers (who wasnt *that* shit) was like ‘girl u have vision issues huh’. And cain was like “huh. I guess”.

So yeah the teacher helps him out w/ his extra senses and stuff, preparing him for the future blindness (tho neither know that it will get that bad, just that it may get worse). He’s proud, nearly to the point of arrogance due to being hard working which leads to mastery of many subjects he puts his mind to. However, due to his issues he can’t read very well, and his hand eye coordination suffered slightly. So he uses more AoE, swiping, and large area attacks bc precision is not his strong suit. He’s also not the best at stealth bc he cant see obstacles. He can sneak awesome in like, dark hallways, but in a forest? He’s getting found out. Maybe also eating dirt.

He’s got an odd superiority/inferiority complex due to his blindness. On one hand: he worked harder than everyone else, of course he’s better. Plus, he’s the golden guard, the right hand of the emperor, extension of his will on the isles. But also. He can’t even read. He stumbles even now over cracks in tile, on occasion walking into walls or people or veering too far in the wrong direction. He hates asking for help, and he especially hates losing. Even more so if its because of his blindness. He hates feeling inferior, so he masks it with superiority (and his literal mask, which has no face on it).

This is good for him bc he is SHIT at managing facial expressions. Like. Girl is a great liar til you see his face and he’s got ALL the tells goin. Micro-expressions? No. Macro-expressions. He’s not good at making friends because he forgets to make expression when he’s not lying though… like. When he lies it’s like he’s trying to act, so he deliberately puts on expressions. But when he isn’t, all he does is the bare minimum that comes from instinct. Also he scares people because he kinda stares.

He mostly fights with magic, plant and abomination (bc they extend his sight and are accessible anywhere). Doesn’t wear the heeled boots or the full gloves of the other grims, instead wearing wrist-guards and flat-soled boots. He taps on the metal of his armor at times in enclosed spaces, a nervous tick from when he was just learning to adjust to full blindness (which came on suddenly after an unfortunate accident that took the rest of his vision. Led to an unfortunate overheard conversation between belos and himself on the merits of keeping Cain alive, or not. Cain desperately proves himself.)

[letsseehowthisgoes-blog]

Theres never a second chance

I see what you done.

You think its alr to just break my heart,

I think its mad how u cant even look back

When i gave you all i had

you think its okay to have me thinking abt you,

When you reject me every chance you get

you dont deserve me anymore ik for a fact tell me what you want i dont want you in my life,

every blink of an eye just shatters my heart alive.

Your looking at me like u haven't helped me get back up

I miss u every night knowing your not tryna ring me up

Showers in the morning and ringing at night,

Phones were always awake counting our time we gave.

Memories playing in my head like its singing on replay

To me it was never a game when i said i love you through every truth or dare.

Its hard to move on with my life when were walking through the same gate every night

I was happy with just friends but you didnt even want that less

Just friends sound wrong i get but we couldve tried again

You acted like a child when we shouldve just tried next time

But you didnt want me back aswell as loving me right now for sure You didnt love me enough as you never said it back

I gave you time but you didnt even think twice wanted space

but that space was a never ending game

better that way

You caused me more pain then making me feel great

U want someone better its sad you'll never find me again

U never warned me that your gonna leave one day

You said me and you were a forever type of game,

But u left without saying good days

Whatever will happen in the next few years

Ill love you but ill never take you back in my arms again

You broke me too hard and i definitely know it will never be wiped from my mind.

Im tired of getting attached just so that u leave and break my heart.

I cry every night but it dont look like you give two fucks.

Knowing you your just gonna turn ur whole body around.

Im tired…

I dont understand how you can stand there and act like im going mad when i warned u that i wont be able to stand back up

You did me soo dirty no explanation pressed that button wiv no hesitation ur acting like its all my fault but when i opened my phone that x was already popping up my phone

Thank you for the time we had

It was fun and i was living my life

Have a nice live they say but when I see your face it's just a look of disgrace. I hope you'll see that i'm your biggest mistake.

I'll be better off happy

And wiv somebody fresh

The clock has been ticking for 7 months

U havent say a single ‘yo’ or even a ‘i missed you so much’

Begging didnt gain me nth neither did hoping

Both a waste of time praying there will be a massive difference

Thank you for the time we had

It was fun and i was living my life

Written by anonymous

[ha-ha-saidtheclown]

So much has happened since my last post that I don't really know where to start so I'll let my mind guide the way.

I still haven't visited your grave, it feels quite overdue. Currently I am battling depression and my self worth is at the minimum. I don't feel like I am worthy of anything. Every time I find something good, there's always something or someone that snatches it away. I wish I was exaggerating but I am not.

I was doing okay, I was chatting and increasing my social activity. I was okay just being myself, less need to do the masking. I started opening up to L until he started vomiting out outrageous little statements that really ticked me off. That's just his poor age related skills I gather. He's still nice in general and has been very helpful in life. I've kept the chatting in minimum for a while. I don't want to encourage him in any way. Also I don't have much patience to read and answer to his messages that are statements of the obvious, like no shit, Sherlock. Also I don't care for a "know it all" attitude. He doesn't know it all, but still has the attitude at times. Not all of the time, but yeah. As much as it annoys me at times, he also is very protective and ready to help at any time. Sometimes he is over the top with it and leaves me speechless and I don't want to be rude. He's the older generation, my dad's. He's kind, very smart and generous over the top. I appreciate everything but the things that tick me off.

I am still in my corner, stuck in it like it's been my home for years upon years. You know in August I met again someone from my past, from 20 years ago. It was like the fresh breeze I didn't know I needed. First day we talked 14 hours nonstop via messages. We met again for the first time about week later and things rolled forward from then on. Met multiple times, he initiated most of it. It was absurd, testing my limits and different. Crazy even but in a positive way. All of it made me happy. I'm not used to being happy, and not used to having things go smoothly. This was different in a sense. Since then he has been testing my limits in both good and bad. Still now, in October, we are hanging onto it but everything is overshadowed by negative things like being on the verge of a burn out and his fears. And what was in august feels has taken a 180 turn. Feels like at times. I feel I am in limbo. Caught up in the corner just waiting for the storm to pass. Not really able to do anything but tiptoe around, yet trying my everything not to lose my mind. And no, it's not me being dramatic, I haven't been on the edge, fighting like this in a long time. Fighting for something good. Because what's the sense in letting go something that makes you feel good? I've said it before, when ever there's something good going on in my life, someone finds some reason to sabotage it. It doesn't matter how much space, care, love, freedom or communication I give, even if I don't do anything at all, there's always something or someone that stomps it on the ground. I'm not being heard when I say I don't deserve certain things and that's a big problem. If I am being heard, it's not validated clearly enough, due to cants and wonts and exes and whatnots. I've also never been the "hidden" one in any human relations before. I try to navigate with that as well as I can. Trying not to create further problems. That's okay too, I can be the hidden one, to a certain point. I won't do the same to them though. First, I don't have the need and second, I have faith that things will in the end be okay, one way or another. Like J-su always said, everything will be okay in the end, and if it's not okay, it's not the end.

I aim to keep surrounding myself with good people, my people, like Jen, P and U.

I try to navigate through depression by doing one hour at a time, holding myself back whenever my mind doesn't seem to cope or when it starts creating scenarios, telling myself it's not that bad and it's going to pass.

[pwblogarchive]

May 2009

May 24, 2009

“varnish on the table that will last longer than us all…”

in my asymmetrical and non-linear understanding (misunderstanding of) the past few years are only like a dog who bites someones hand. its reflex, by the time the newspaper is swatted at it, its too late the dogs has forgotten everything but shame and self defeat- but not the why. so tail between the legs we circle the yard we just want to come back inside where we can hear the laughs and cheers of the people world going on with out us. its not everything thats different that makes us tick, its the way we hold on to the normal parts of us. we need them most. they are the processing drive that essentially keeps us alive. we need society so that we can sit just at the edge of it and critique it but every once in awhile we need to sneak in and warm ourselves on the fire. there is a grace to rolling, to the perfect spiral. but there is no grace in going end over end. its an amusement park ride at best- but at worst it is light and dark, dawn and dusk, spinning end over end so fast that it becomes a blur. the great black sadness poison and beaks and all and the warming sun just become the same. its that lithium point. the drooling effect. zombie. been going through kitchens and back doors for awhile now, so youd never know. feel like im walking around with a sign on my back of some kind. every one i know wants to take me in, to pull me aside for that all important conversation where i figure me out- we pull out of perspective- maybe i dont want to figure me out. maybe every time you thank me, i feel like ive pulled the rug out from under you. every time you curse me, i quietly applaud because you know what? maybe youre right. maybe they all are. snag. hit a snag. always do. turn over a new leaf, fuck it turn over the whole tree. itll be a new day all the bodies hanging from the branches will be buried in beautiful ceremonies. and besides well finally have roots. something to dig in to. ive forgotten most everyone i ever cared for if they dont keep tabs on me. not saying that should come as much of a surprise its just me. i dont want to clear up any confusion. i dont want to clarify black or white, im totally entranced with the idea of remaining gray. and if my eyes pour its just for the garden that is its lashes. nothing more. cause really its just that newspaper swat and i couldnt remember for the life of me what ive done or where ive been thats got me shaking to my karmic bone. the "h.m.s. sinking" feeling is sneaking up on me. thats what you get in open waters, right? royal navy to the crown prince of pointlessness. you got addicted to the blur. its the stage. its the plane. its the kiss. its the strut. and when it all slows down its just you in a room so dark you cant even tell how big it is. been asleep so long ive forgotten my name. stumble. the night has a plan. if not the night has a point: "if you cant remember it why would you ever miss the blur?" think of all the in-betweens. knuckles numb from the walls youve puched, knees buckling from all the legs youve loved. all the toasts weve made. all the hugs. blow past the exit sign. the exist sign. were ticking. were wicks sparking....

May 28, 2009

“what do you want to call it?”

i got that midnight tennis elbow

the solitaire rugburn

took a turn (an ace up my sleeve)

i want to choke (u)

and get sick off of you like secondhand smoke

ya got me sweating like calcutta nights

such a sweet epiphany

i am a wing

i am a prayer

a thimble and an acorn

a promise from a poor apocathary- to an understudy in love forlorn

ill give you heatstroke

im getting you and im losing me

wed get legendary lil darlin, uh huh lil darlin

but ive got a nomadic head

i love ya but ive caught the doom and the dread

[itwassophiehanseniswear]

Here we go okau

Dylan Rhodes - my first thought was actually shi-long lang, can you believe it, but I’m now kinda locked in on mia fey (can you believe it 2) making misty fey Lionel shrike

j Daniel atlas - easily miles edgeworth. pompous control freak asshole that’s surprisingly lovable? Idk abt you but that’s miles edgeworth to me! thank you next question

Henley reeves - Phoenix wright all the way! Yeah I’m throwing nrmts in here but that’s not all - her whole gimmick at the beginning “what sadistic asshole came up with this trick”! So him

Jack wilder - maya fey! The kid who wants to be apart of the bigger picture, who wants a better part in the story, who heroically “sacrifices” themselves for their goal? who is great at lock picking, is an up and coming star, a trickster who loves the spotlight? so maya. I cant even begin to tell you how maya that is

Merritt McKinney - godot. He’s just got that vibe, yk? The older friend who is an asshole but you keep him around anyways? And honestly if you told me before watching this movie to give aa characters types of magic I’d probably end up with the stuff that McKinney does for godot. Also his jokes? So godot. Yeah he says the t slur once in the movie I’m not condoning that obviously but it does sound like a joke he’d make? then get a telling off from everyone else pff

Thaddeus Bradley - first off what a name. What a name. Couple of things here! I actually thought of godot for this role first but I don’t like him ending up the “big bad” (using that with a grain of salt) at the end, despite the mysterious vibe he’s got. I’m conflicted now. Who does mia have a grudge against? redd white. Would he be good for this role. Absolutely not. Cannot tell you how much I’m against that idea. Next guess, Manfred Von karma. Also a no, as Thaddeus’ character is too interesting for that guy, and also not evil enough. Next guess, Damon gant. Again, Thaddeus is not evil enough, however, I do see it. it sorta works? I’m at odds. Maybe kristoph, icl I see it. if anyone would like to chip in on this that’d be great thanks

Alma dray - absolutely love her! Hot girls with accents hmu. Any sorta accent. (franziska Von karma do you hear me. tabby Lloyd do you hear me.) anyway I initially thought of Franziska Von karma for her, but Alma is way different from franziska in many ways, especially in the way she goes about doing things. and I could see the romance between her and Dylan coming from a mile away, and I adore it so it can’t be franziska Von karma, sors girl ily. Next thought! Lana Skye. wowwww lesbianism yayyy I do hc Lana and ema as half Italian uh I guess just like change where they grew up for this one, half Italian grew up in Italy, who lives in france yay

Arthur tressler - evil old rich british guy who ripped off a shit load of people of their money under the guise of an insurance company? who gets his ass beat (figuratively) onstage? and gets sold out by his own main attraction people? Manfred Von karma.

that’s all the important people but there’s another reoccurring police guy who we can make gumshoe, and another one (the one who got hypnotized) we can make maggey yay maggey content ily maggey and a police chief asshole we can make shi-long lang! and I’m kinda locked in on Damon gant as Thaddeus Bradley now hahaha

so obviously switch some things for story standards, mia and maya both change their names, cept mia (being two steps ahead) would actually know it’s maya. And maya takes one look at her and goes oh shit that’s my sister that I got separated from whatttt. So let’s think this out. Misty dies, mia is 12 and maya is 2, I guess, as that’s my approx for their ages in the broken urn image in bridge to a turnabout. I want mia to call herself mia ayasato. which should tick Maya off abt her as well. I like to think that Maya in this au has her mother’s charm and the picture of herself and mia in it, and she compares it to a present day mia, and voila. I’m having a harder time for mayas fake last name tho….. I’m thinking yōsei, which Google tells me is “synonymous with the English term fairy” fairy being generally synonymous to faerie, fae, fey, heyyyy see where I’m coming from ;3 so maya yōsei and mia ayasato. Sweet. What would this change in terms of the movie. mia chooses Maya as death specifically. She’s defo much more hung up over her sacrifice than Dylan is in the movie, even if she knows it’s fake. Maya sees mia in the interrogation room and gets a bit like, oh my god. But plays her role well. After she gets in the car she goes “that’s my sister” to everyone else and they’re all like WHAT and she shows them the picture… “that woman… that’s my sister” (ensuing chaos from the rest of the horsemen) “this charm is all I have left of my mother, and this picture all I have of my sister. I don’t know who I was before I was maya yōsei. I’ve always been Maya yōsei. But this picture is not Maya yōsei, it’s a different Maya I guess. I’ll never be that Maya. Im not that Maya. I am Maya yōsei, hah, Maya the fairy. Fits I guess. I dunno.” (Someone, probably Daniel/edgeworth, asks if she’ll still be able to do her thing) “yeah. I dont know that woman. I’ve created this. Idea of her in my head, of my sister, and that woman is not her.” Idk guys I wanted to write some stupid fucking dialogue that belongs in a movie from 2013. Tho I guess this one would be set in 2016 like aa1. Also godot isn’t poisoned and they call him godot as a joke nickname, (dieGO armanDO) and there’s no miego, I love miego it just doesn’t fit in this au. So yeah Maya doesn’t know she’s related to misty fey who gave her life for magic, mia does tho, Maya assures them that she can still play her role in the trick just fine. yadda yadda, fight scene in the apartment with Jack/maya, Dylan/mia, and the other police guy/gumshoe. Maya goes “SORRY MISS MIA” while beating her up HAHA anyway fast forward to the final scene they all go oh my goddd it’s youuu you’re the one behind this woahhhh and mia goes “Maya.” And Maya goes “SIS” and starts crying and runs to her and then jacks line “I’m sorry for beating you up” happens while hugging her yayyyyy I love familyisms

Sorry for yap

just watched now you see me (2013) and can I just say. Perfect. Beautiful. Only notes were that they said a slur, had a fat joke, and the main squad were entirely white people 💔 but it was 2013 so idk

also there were too many French people

Anyways! Ace attorney au

[jackass-jones]

I must be honest I have no idea what a bi lesbian is but I do know that I don’t fucking care what she is and I’m not gonna lose sleep over it

[seattlesellie]

no bc why does ellie give off older brother’s sorta meanish friend who’s always teasing you ….

mean older brother’s friend ellie hc’s ☁️

cw: smut, mentions of alcohol

♡ mean!bbf ellie who’s introduction to you isn’t a nice or comfortable one. it's rather... bizarre. you had just finished showering, your hair still fully wet, tiny droplets of water flowing down your body. you leave the bathroom in a tiny towel, mindless as ever because this is your house, and as soon as you open the door, she just stands there. she was literally about to walk in, probably to pee or something, and she fucking startles you because who the hell is this absolute converse wearing, messy auburn haired stranger standing in front of your door?!

your parents may have told you something about your brother coming home from college for the holidays… perhaps with a certain girl this time, and you were just happy he finally got a girlfriend, or something. when you see her… yeah. thats definitely not his girlfriend. she’s so… i mean, you get it. she doesn’t look like someone who’d be into his type.

you huff out a small squeal when you’re startled by the absolute stranger, and she seems to be completely unbothered, although… her eyes wander down for a second before she catches your gaze. “who the fuck are you?” you gasp, and automatically hold the towel with a tighter grip to your body, since it almost fell off completely when you lifted your hands up out of pure panic. “ellie” she says with a smirk. she brings her hand forward to form a handshake, clearly aware that if you lifted your hand up, the towel will completely fall down. when you hold the fabric even tighter, she sighs, and places her hand back in her pocket. “are you my brother’s girlfriend?” you question, and she looks at you like you’re so fucking dumb. “do i look… like your brothers girlfriend?”

♡ mean!bbf ellie who decides that fucking with you is the funniest thing on earth, since ticking you off and making you go completely mad seems to be too easy, and one day when you have a simple dinner, just you, ellie and your brother— (since your parents maybe… went off to visit some relatives for the night) they have a conversation and she seems to completely ignore you, and he obviously does too. when they talk about something apparently “hilarious” that happened in college, a dumb thing a guy said during a lecture— as you play with your fork, squishing the food down on the plate, you decide to butt in on the conversation.

“something exactly like that happened in one of my cla—“ you quip, and ellie fully side eyes you and huffs under her breath. when she sees you stutter on your words since that look was so mean, she mocks you completely.

“my class— i mean, one t—ti”

“t—t t- what… you can’t talk?” she smirks, and tilts her head to the side. then, ellie immediately looks over to your brother and sighs. “didn’t know your sister had a stuttering problem”.

he giggles like an idiot and they immediately move on to a different topic, leaving you completely embarrassed, hot in the face and incredibly famished. you can't even eat— what if she says you chew funny.

♡ mean!bbf ellie who plays the stupidest, meanest pranks on you. they vary from hiding on the other side of the door and jumping on you with a terrifying scream, to replacing the sugar with salt in your tea like a literal 12 year old. ellie cant help but grow obsessed with how loud you yell and how your eyes pop out of your head, stomping your feet on the floor whenever you’re pissed at her. something about the way you snicker and tell her that you wish she returned to her stupid college already, the way you add an “ellieuhhhh” to the end of every sentence really just satisfies her deeply, for some reason she doesn’t… fully get yet.

♡ mean!bbf ellie who plays soccer with your brother in the yard, all sweaty with her bangs sticking to her forehead, dressed in basketball shorts and a stupidly tight tank top that make her stupidly tight abs pop out because she’s so stupidly damp with sweat, and you’re staring out of the window of your room like a creep. you’d usually rather not join because she has made it very clear that she doesn’t want to be around you unless you’re squirming or growing absolutely embarrassed. unfortunately, you’re so freaking bored and the weather outside truly is so nice— barely cloudy, the grass shining green and— fuck it. you pace downstairs, and stand stupidly still in the yard for a moment, before you gain the courage to ask if you can join. ellie obviously doesn’t want you on her team (she’d much rather humiliate you by taking the ball out of your feet at any given chance) so your brother has to take you in. you skip around the living room to put on some sneakers and when you join— it’s on. clearly, it’s not a proper game of soccer with only three players, but it’s their own version of it, and their own version is incredibly aggressive. all they do is yell at each other and elbow one another in order to keep away from the ball, and once you magically have it intertwined between your legs (your brother had finally passed it to you after literally begging for ten whole minutes) ellie makes sure to run as fast as she can, kick it violently out of your legs (that is definitely a foul, red card for ellie) and swiftly nudge you so that you fall on the grass with your nose bumping into it’s softness. she moves to stand right above you, towering over your body completely, and she's laughing her lungs out. she moves to the side to cover the sun from glowing directly in your eyes, just to force you to look into her and see how happy she is to humiliate you again. you’re absolutely pissed now, so you push your legs forward and kick her right back— she falls over you, her chest right on top of yours.

she’s heaving and panting, and you swear you could almost taste the sweat slowly leaking on her forehead. the world literally stops.

“you’re so fucking dumb” she snickers, and lifts herself off of you.

you go into your room to punch a pillow. shes so fucking annoying.

she goes into her room to do something… different. you’re so fucking annoying.

♡ mean!bbf ellie who always rolls her eyes when she sees you come closer, and constantly gives your brother those certain looks, that she clearly makes to piss you off and watch that little pout form on your lips. one morning, you walk over to the kitchen to grab a glass of water, and ellie’s in her pajamas (for some reason, you really can’t stop looking at her arms, since she’s only wearing a wife beater and some low hanging sweats). when you greet her with a chipper good morning, she mumbles a lazy “morning” back, and when you lift yourself up on your toes to grab your favorite mug, she sees your shorts ride up a bit and her breath completely cages in her throat. she considers coming over and helping you, but hearing your sweet, breathy little huffs is so much nicer.

♡ mean!bbf ellie who finds you extremely attractive, and wishes you stopped walking around the house in tiny outfits (she wouldn’t be too far off if she called them literal napkins) because you’re making it very hard to concentrate when she works on a project with your brother in the living room and you just happen to walk by, carrying a tray of freshly squeezed lemonade and offer it to them. and she hates how fucking kind you remain even though shes so mean, so she gets even meaner and tells you that the lemonade tastes bad. she spits it out inside the glass, and the way you squint your eyebrows and ask her if she wants you to make her a new one literally tugs at her heartstrings. she tells you; “s’fine, you shouldn’t be near a kitchen, like— ever again. tastes awful” and when you take the glass out of her hand and walk off without even commenting anything back, she huffs a silent “shit” under her breath and closes her eyes for a second.

♡ mean!bbf ellie who one day has a super… weird dream about you. you lounged inside a lively kitchen— but it wasn’t the one she grew familiar with. it was mostly filled with mahogany furniture, an aqua green stove and a peach colored carpet. you were baking something, and it smelled like maple and cherry and vanilla and peach cobbler, it smelled messy and like an explosion of sweetness but god, she felt the hunger in her sleep. you stood there in a little apron, and just when you shut the stove’s lid up, she hugged you from behind. she smelled your neck, and wrapped her arms around you. “smells nice, babe” she whispered. you turned around and smiled at her so big, and just as you closed your eyes and parted your lips— she woke up.

♡ mean!bbf ellie who can’t. stop. thinking. about that freaking dream. she wakes up and she feels parched, and so fucking confused. she bumps her palm against her forehead and decides she needs a tall, refreshing glass of water before she tries to slumber again, because god knows she wont be able to. she goes downstairs to the kitchen, and gets so startled when she sees your shadow standing over the stove, its just like that dream but you're not baking, there's just a bowl of cereal in your hands and random music silently coming out of your phone. when she jumps— you jump too. and you drop the whole entire bowl and the milk is now running all over your top.

“jesus fucking christ!” you gasp, and when you see that it’s ellie, her face all puffy from sleep, your heart thuds in your chest. you’ve never been… completely alone with her, not ever since you met her outside of the shower for the first time, anyways.

“why are you standing like a creep in the kitchen in the middle of the night?!” she questions.

“i was… eating”

“at 3am?”

“yes and now i guess i wont be eating anymore since you made me— drop! the entire bowl!”

for some reason, she tells you that she’s sorry. maybe it’s that fucking dream—

she hastily grabs some paper towels and helps you wipe. she’s awkwardly rubbing all over the material and shes being extremely stupid because clearly you can just change your top, this is your house after all, and your closet is right there, but she doesn’t seem to be able to stop wiping and whispering that she’s sorry and she’s tugging at your top and it… makes her flustered so she fucking stops, and throws the paper towel on the counter.

“clean yourself up— you’re the weirdo awake at 3am”

(she was right where you stood yesterday, eating some cheese puffs on the floor while watching a gaming stream but she obviously wont mention that)

♡ mean!bbf ellie who instead of surrendering to her feelings that are obviously starting to creep up, decides to grow even meaner. it’s not just random comments and stupid pranks anymore, it’s quite literally pure evilness. when she watches a film with your brother, a bowl of popcorn in her hands and some fuzzy socks, cuddled up inside a thin blanket on the couch, you decide to make an appearance. you, bored out of your mind, decided to to join in on the fun. usually, ellie had no problem if you just lounged in the living room while they watched television or played video games, because you would quite literally be completely mute and not bother them at all, untill ellie made a joke (“that dude’s head looks like the titanic’s fucking iceberg”) that you couldn’t help but laugh at. when you laughed, so hard you practically wheezed, it kind of made her feel soft and icky and she wanted to slap it out of her. today, when she saw you slide into the living room from the corner of her eye, she deadpanned completely.

“no— no, we’re not watching this with you” she snickered, and her tone was so serious and it didn’t even carry a glimmer of teasing, it was purely just mean.

you scrunch your eyebrows, and huff a quiet “what? why?”

“because you’re fucking annoying and we don’t want you around”

you went pure silent, just staring at the floor.

“why are you still standing there? go” she waved her hand, as if she was kicking out a small, pesky little animal.

you really weren’t a crybaby, but you truly didn’t deserve this. for some reason, a lump formed down your throat, and your eyes glistened. you climbed up to your room and silently sniffled.

even your brother thought she was being too mean now.

“that was kinda… fucked up”

ellie brushed her tongue on the side of her mouth, and clenched her jaw. she knows.

♡ mean!bbf ellie who notices you appear less and less around the house. mean bbf ellie, who really isn’t a bad person, she isn’t even that fucking mean, she just can’t handle her feelings and masks them completely untill you absolutely hate her guts. after that night— the night where she kicked you off to your room, you don’t chipper a good morning. you enter the kitchen, groggy and quiet, make a drink and disappear to your room with the cup in your hand. you don’t make lemonade anymore, and you don’t even laugh when she makes a stupid joke. mean ellie who misses your laugh, and tries so hard to hear it again, but fails miserably.

♡ mean!bbf ellie who loses it completely when you decide to go out to a party one night. you’re so quiet it feels almost as if you’re sneaking out, but you truly aren’t. you’re just scared she’ll make a mean comment on your dress or tell you that you look stupid with your makeup done like that.

♡ mean!bbf ellie who stares you down completely, and shamelessly checks you out when you twist the doorknob in order to leave the house.

“wh… where are you going?” she questions, and it’s so hard to keep it cool when you look so good and your thighs are on full display with your ass almost popping out of your dress. it makes her gulp because she fucking knows it’s not for her. you’re gonna go out and you’ll have people gawking over you and it drives her crazy.

“party” you simply mutter.

“dressed like that?” she clearly runs her eyes all over your body.

she's going to say something mean again. you just know it.

“really don’t have the time or the energy for your comments right now, ellie”

she wishes you added that cute uuuh, at the end of her name. you don’t.

“you look… stay safe—“

“i look what, ellie?”

“nice. y’look nice”

you shut the door. she just complimented you. that was a first.

♡ mean!bbf ellie who waits for you to come back from the party because she’s worried. she doesn’t admit it to herself, and excuses it by thinking she just can’t fall asleep because the winds too loud or the room’s too hot, so she just lays awake, waiting to hear your footsteps and your room’s door close shut— but you don’t. seem. to come. home. she feels sick because what if something happened to you— and then she feels completely stupid because you’re an adult and you’ve probably been to numerous parties already, but she can’t help but feel it in her guts. what if something happened to you? what if you drank too much and god forbid— what if you went home with somebody? she falls into the mattress with a thud and stares at the ceiling for half an hour, just picturing you making out with someone and them grabbing your waist or your ass and now she feels like she’s about to punch the damn wall— and then she hears you. you’re humming a song, specifically— cash shit by megan thee stallion, and you sound obviously drunk. she can’t let you go to sleep like that.

♡ mean!bbf ellie who propels the door open, to see you sliding down the wall, smelling like alcohol and sweet perfume and she feels sickly but she needs to take care of you, so she grabs you by the waist, guide you through the corridor, opens the door to your room and puts you down on your bed. she coo’s at you to stay quiet and calm for her.

“yeaupp m’in my baggg but im in his too…” you blabber, and burst out laughing.

“okay— okay, you good? you got contacts you need to remove? if you’re gonna throw up, i’ll get a bucket” she whispers, as she watches you swing back and forth. you look so pretty it’s incredible hard for her to be calm.

“some new sh—shoes… blah… mwahhhhh” you pull out your tongue and pucker your lips. you look incredibly silly and she swallows a giggle.

“you’re wasted, aren’t you?” now she's just caressing your face. why does she feel like she's going to faint?

“k— not t’wasted… you’re wasted… you’re wasted and pp—pretty” you mumble.

“huh?” thank god you’re drunk, because shes full on blushing.

“pretty pretty els…. s’pretty and so evil and m—mean and pretty…. like a millions pretty but—b’millions evil… so e—evil”

she decides to just shut the fuck up. keep going.

“i k—kissed somebody”

and now she’s the one who feels like she’s gonna puke.

♡ mean!bbf ellie who decides to completely give you the silent treatment. you didn’t even do anything, but god it feels like she hates you now.

♡ mean!bbf ellie who confronts you about that stupid kiss and asks you who the fuck dared to kiss a drunk girl, and you look so panicked and afraid, and it hurts when she tells you she’s gonna let your brother know and that he’s gonna kick their ass and you’re gonna be done for.

♡ mean!bbf ellie who fully breaks one day. it’s the last week of her and your brothers visit, and you haven’t talked to her for three whole days. she feels it inside of her chest, and every time you come near, it becomes harder and harder not to push you against the counter and kiss the hell out of your lips. it’s hard to stop staring and it’s hard to keep her distance so she confronts you.

“you know you told me i’m pretty, right? before you threw up on the fucking bed?”

your eyes pop out of your head. you feel absolutely embarrassed. no you didn’t.

“i did not— what? what the hell is the matter with you?” you huff, and back away.

♡ mean!bbf ellie who comes closer and closer the more you back away, because it’s becoming incredibly difficult to keep that distance apart, so she makes sure you can feel her breath on your lips and makes sure it makes you shiver— before she mutters a loud “fuck it” and takes your lips between her’s.

♡ mean!bbf ellie who kisses you so hard, it truly feels like you've never been kissed before. nothing could ever compare. when she takes your lips between her's, and sucks on the bottom one, just to hear a sweet little breath leave your mouth, she grunts. it feels like everything she's ever felt was flowing out of her body and crashing onto yours. when she squeezes your waist, and pulls you in closer so her chest bumps into yours— she breaks the kiss to look at you. my god, you're panting, and flushed, and she can feel you shaking.

"i'm sorry" she mutters, and she truly isn't, but if you keep on shaking like that, she's gonna have to start running away.

"please— don't stop"

honestly, she wasn't planning on stopping.

♡ mean!bbf ellie who picks you up, and as your legs automatically intertwine with each other on her lower back, takes you to your room and bangs you up on the door.

“what— what are you doing?” you ask, and it’s completely interrupted when her lips land on yours again. she can’t do this anymore, she can’t keep playing with you because if you kiss another person again who isn’t her she swears she’s gonna run out and beat them up, or even worse— kill them completely, and she can’t help but moan against your lips because you’re so fucking cute when you let out those noises and she needs to touch you right now or she’ll die.

♡ mean!bbf ellie who need's to hear you add that little "uuuh" at the end of her name after you kiss her because she'd imagined it too many times.

"say my name like— fuck"

"say it like you fucking do when you're pissed at me— say it"

somehow, you immediately know what she means.

"ellieuuuh!"

she's never swallowed so hard in her life. she looks at you like she's famished, and she growls. when ellie kisses you again, it feels like you're going to crash down and die.

♡ mean!bbf ellie who eats you out like shes starved in your childhood bedroom. swirls her tongue and spits on your cunt and tells you to “keep fucking quiet” or else your brother will hear, and he’s right in the next room and she told him she just went to get something to eat, so she shoves your little panties right in your mouth and holds your stomach down on the bed with her two hands, parts your pussy lips so far apart they practically burn and she goes on and on till you cum on her face twice. “atta fucking girl just like that… just like that”

♡ mean!bbf ellie who plays with your clit in little circles, sits with your back pressed against her chest, and growls every time she sees feels hole clench around her. she tells you to be a good little whore for her and take her fingers before she gives you her strap, and you don’t even know why she has it with her because— is she fucking other girls?

♡ mean!bbf ellie who isn't fucking other girls— she just brought it because she... well, maybe she looked at your brother's facebook before coming over and she happened to stumble across a very, very pretty girl

♡ mean!bbf ellie who slaps your pussy hard every time you yell out her name— “you better keep fucking quiet or m’not letting you cum” and then shoves your panties even deeper inside of your mouth till you’re almost gagging, and only takes them out by replacing them with her cunt, and makes you eat her out completely controlled by the sway of her hips as she grinds herself down and god— she fucking needs it because getting off to you from knowing you were right next to her room truly wasn’t enough so she makes sure you make her feel good, and pats your cheeks every time your tongue swirls around her clit just right.

♡ mean!bbf ellie who straps you down on the bed, whispers short circuited “take it. take it. take it” every time it hits that one spot inside of your cunt, and makes you whisper in her ear to fuck you harder and faster because hearing your sweet little voice saying these obscenities is making her clit pump and brush on the bottom of her harness just right. “you gonna be my good fucking girl— make me fucking cum inside you? hmmph?”

she can’t help but… ask you,

“you want your brother to know how much of a fucking slut you are? letting his best f—fucking friend fuck you like this?” and all you can do is whine and hiccup broken sobs of “n—no ellie dont want him to know!”

“think you fucking do— if you keep on fucking screaming like this”

♡ mean!bbf ellie who… makes you cockwarm her strap while watching tv. this time, she doesn’t kick you out. with your brother’s eyes glued to the screen, watching E.T, it’s very easy to miss out on the bulge that’s hiding inside of ellie’s sweats. she signals you to come sit on her lap, and you just nod and whisper “no”, because what if he see’s— but she grabs your waist, slides you to sit right on her lap, pulls your pants and your panties down, and god— you’re already soaking just from being around her. she makes you roll your hips down her strap, separating your pussy lips apart and rub yourself all over it, guiding your motions with her hands. she can barely keep quiet herself because the way you whimper so softly and slap a hand on your mouth makes her lose it. she knows you wont be able to keep quiet if she bounced you up and down.

“stop being so loud” your brother snickers, and he almost… almost turns his head to the side. if he looked— he’d see his little sister sitting right on his best friend’s lap. that same best friend who kicked you out, same best friend who teased and mocked— what if he sees?

“shh… shh— just sit on it” she whispers in your ear and you shiver. you obey, and move your hips up. its almost too big, you have to swallow a screech when it slides inside of your hole. you want to bounce on it so bad, but your brothers still fucking awake. she almost snickers at how easily it went up inside, your slick completely swallowing it whole, but she stops herself. her could wake up at any given moment.

“keep on sitting on it” she grabs your thighs and digs her nails into them. “don’t move” and whenever you do—, eagerly attempting to disobey her, she pulls you down and grinds you deep on it, making sure you're caged inside. when she hears the quiet shores of your older brother sound asleep in the background, she starts fucking it into you deep. she thrusts her hips forward, and you don’t even have to move a muscle, you really did earn it after all.

"such a good fucking girl— have to make it up to you"

♡ mean!bbf ellie who sneaks little spanks, and grabs your tits whenever no ones looking, creeping up on you from behind and smelling your neck— just like she did in her dream. she kisses and kisses and almost doesn’t care if she gets caught— she has only three days left.

will you go away with her, or are you going to have to wait till next year’s visit? <3

[harrysarchive]

A request where Harry styles is a college football star student who has a crush on his single sexy proffesor, reader. One day, reader asked him to see after class

after class: h.s.

pairing: fratboy!harry x professor!reader

summary:

"i can tell you like the thought of this rendezvous with me." i smirk and she gasp.

"that is very inappropriate mr. styles."

or

fratboy harry has a hot professor and she calls him in after class.

warning:

SMUT 18+ PLEASE

p.s.a i didn't write the exact request but this is what i felt comfortable writing! thank you for the request! <3

𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐑𝐘'𝐒

𝐏𝐎𝐕

i let out an exaggerated sigh as i make my way to english literature, introduction to romantic poetry was the lesson of the week. at least the professor is bangin' hot. thick thighs, amazing curves and what looks like a d-cup set nicely on her chest.

professor y/l/n.

she was a recent graduate of the University of Georgia, the current school i was attending. a full ride football scholarship, i was the best wide receiver in the nation, uni's form all states where trying to pull me. i made the decision to attend UGA on logistics, the best football team in all the states, currently undefeated.

"you ready to see our professor?" niall snaps me out of my thoughts wiggling his eyebrows.

"bloody hell, yes. i don't think i could thank my advisor more for forcing me to do this class." i snicker and he chuckles shaking his head.

"tell me 'bout it." he comments licking his lips and i scrunch my face in disgust.

"watch yourself horan." i mumble as i see a group of girls waving at me and sending winks my way, i send them a wave before averting my eyes.

niall throws a punch at my arm before starting a light jog and i huff out a laugh before following him. sooner than later we find ourselves in professor y/l/n's lecture hall.

"romantic poetry is the poetry of the Romantic era, an artistic, literary, musical and intellectual movement that originated in Europe towards the end of the 18th century." professor y/l/n's states as she walks around her desk, a gray pencil skirt hugs her curvy hips, her freshly shaven legs on display, and a black turtleneck that sticks to her skin like glue. "i've decided to take a different route then the normal, 'Sonnet 18 by the beloved William Shakespeare', and instead we will start this unit with something from my background, 'El Beso' by Angelina Weld Grimké. which translates to 'the kiss', Grimké wrote the poem about a love song, full of passion, yearning, and confused emotions."

i lick my lips and pull my bottom lip between my teeth, she sits back on the desk and her hips plush out even more.

i never would've thought i could listen so much in a class.

"as like your other projects in my class you will either make a short story, making it easier for the common eye to read or, you will make a photo reflection. with that being said i would also like a short summary over 'El Beso.' she smiles at the class, "any questions?" no one raises their hand except, well me. "yes mr. styles?" she cocks an eyebrow.

"what is the grade point based on?"

"like all your other projects it depends on efficiency, the structure and etcetera." she replied folding her hand in-front of her chest, "also if i could see you after class mr. styles, we need to talk."

my heart drops to the pit of my stomach and i gulp down the knot in my throat, "of course professor y/l/n."

i'm fucked.

"thank you so much for working hard today! i cant wait to see all of the things you guys have come up with. there will be a short quiz over El Beso next class so study hard!" professor y/l/n shooes everyone out, class ticked by at the slowest rate known to man kind.

i stand awkwardly at the foot of her desk and wait till she turns around beaming a smile at me.

"ah mr. styles! exactly who i wanted to see. please follow me to my office." she starts walking towards the direction of the locked office and opens it with her key.

"now no need to be scared, just wanted to talk to you about your grades." she smiles pointing me to sit in the chair in front of her desk.

she slides into her rollie chair as well and pulls out a manila folder with my name on the top right corner.

"okay it's just that you seem to be doing exceptional in my class, you are one of the top students that i have."

"but..?" i wait for the wooing factor that's bound to happen.

"but you are barely passing your other classes." she pulls out what looks like a report card you would get in grade school.

"a seventy is passing." i state bluntly as i look over the grades.

"that is true mr. styles, very true but how are you making seventy precent in all other class and passing mine with a ninety percentage average?"

it's because you make me focus.

"how do i make you focus?" she answer the question i thought was just in my head.

"i don't know okay? i mean look at you! you're the hottest professor i have! it hard not to pay attention when you are the professor!"

her eyes widen at my outburst and her ears flush, she straightens herself out and i notice that she squeezes her thighs together.

"i'm sorry? that i distract you?" she stutters putting her glasses on the top of her head.

"i can tell you like the thought of this rendezvous with me." i smirk and she gasp.

"that is very inappropriate mr. styles."

i get up and make my way towards her side of the desk pulling her chair out, i let my hands travel up her sides and to her shoulders, massaging them slowly as she lets out a whine.

"tell me this doesn't turn you on. the thought of you and me. me bending you over this goddamn desk and me fucking you senseless." i whisper in her ear and a shiver runs down her spine.

"we can't." she says bluntly causing a chuckle to leave my mouth.

"i didnt ask if we could did i, love?" she holds back an answer and i bring my lips to her neck pressing kisses on her sensitive skin, "i asked if this turns you on."

she pulls her bottom lip between her teeth and murmurs, "fuck it." before spinning around and crashing her lips with mine. i eagerly kiss back slipping my tongue between her mouth, she lets a moan slips out. i slip between her legs and my arms grab underneath her thighs picking her up with ease.

"wait," she whines pulling apart and pushing my chest.

"what baby?" i practically cry out wanting nothing more than to kiss her puffy lips again.

"the door, i didn't lock it."

i let out a chuckle before dropping her to her feet and briefly pecking her lips, quickly locking the door. y/n leans over the desk, the plump of her ass sticking out.

"so you do want this?" i muse as my hand runs along down arch of her back.

"shut up and fuck me." she grunts through gritted teeth causing my cock to swell in my pants.

i slip a hand through the front of her skirt splitting her sleek folds before my thumb makes contact with her sensitive puffy clit rubbing tight circles, her whimpers and moans start to fill the air, "you're soaked baby." i mumble in her ear and she shivers.

"please." she pleas, grabbing ahold on her skirt hiking it up and they bunch on her plump hips.

"wanna taste ya cunt first." i groan sitting in her chair as i pull down her red lace thong, "ya tryna to kill me."

pressing a kiss to the arch of her back i make my way down to her puffy cunt, jesus fuck, i spread her glistening folds pressing a kiss to her clit, she lets out a breathy moan before pushing her hips back licking a broad stripe through her folds, muffling my own groan of pleasure.

"oh harry." she shuddered pulling her hand to her mouth, trying to suppress the small moans and whimpers that were trying to escape her.

"no," i growl against her and slap her plushy ass, "let them out, i wanna her you."

her jaw fell open as a beautiful pornographic moan erupted through the room, knuckles white as they fisted the bottom of the desk, nails digging in the wood leaving small angry marks, her hips pushing back into my face.

my hands were around her thighs, pulling her closer to me, holding her still as she huffed out a breath through her swollen lips. i begged her with my actions, digging fingers into her beautiful melanin flesh and willed her to cum on my face.

"har, 'm gonna cum!" she moaned bucking her hips.

"do it." i spat shortly.

she lets out a high pitched moan as her orgasm hits her, i let her ride it out coaxing her swollen clit. my hands quickly unbutton my pants and i yank them down along with my boxers.

"got my cock leaking honey." i muse lightly fisting my bulge.

"fuck me please." she whines arching her back further.

"yeah you want my cock bad?" i tease swiping my swollen tip through her velvet folds.

not wanting to tease us both any longer i positioned my cock at her entrance, pushing inside her in one fluid motion. she moaned loudly, my hands moving to her lower back, fingers digging into her skin i groaned at the feeling of being inside her. i fucked into her at a torturously steady pace. she grounded her hips down to meet my movements, desperate for more, silently begging me to meet that soft spot inside of her. my hand moves to her neck, wrapping around her throat and she whines.

" 's good." she slurred as her legs start to buckle.

i pull her up with the hand that's around her neck, moving it to her face before turning her head to give her a bruising kiss. once we pulled away i push her down again my hips snapping faster craving a release. i looked at her like she was artwork, displayed just for me in a pornographic arch. my pace was fast, smooth and shallow thrusts, keeping my hips angled so my cock could hit that spongy place that makes her eyes roll back.

"faster h! please!" she cried pushing her hips back, i rocked my hips faster against her before looking down where we connected, i gather saliva in my mouth before spitting between us.

"that's it baby, that's it, take it like a good girl." i gasp out gripping her hips with an iron grip not letting her run from my thrust. i felt her spazzing around me and a choked moan left my lips, my hand moves around to her front and my thumb connects with her swollen pearl.

"cum for me baby." i grunt and she lets out a whine clawing the front of her desk.

she clenched around me and i let out a gasp as we both finally released. my thrusts we're starting to slow down, giving her a sharp pump keeping my cock there as her orgasm hit her. she screams my name as her eyes closed and legs shook. i stood above her as i waited for her pulse to calm down. i let out a breathy chuckle before pulling out and grabbing a tissue for the box of her desk. i quickly clean her before placing a kiss on her plump ass and pull her thong up.

"what do you want for dinner love?" i ask as she pushes her skirt back into place.

she turns around with a smile on her lips before pushing me to sit in her chair and sitting in my lap, "dunno, we haven't gone grocery shopping this week, we have nothing in the fridge."

i play with the diamond ring that rested on her left hand before bringing it to my lips and placing a kiss on it.

"i can go if you want sum pet."

"yeah been craving your chicken parm." she groans out rubbing her stomach, i let out a chuckle before kissing her lips.

"okay want anything else?"

"those crisps i like, the spicy ones." she hums running a hand through my hair, "best fiancé out there."

"yeah? 'm the best?" i tease her and she nods.

a/n: PLOT TWIST😭🤣🤣 i knew i wanted them to have a real relationship but i didn't know if i wanted it to be a "they use to date" relationship or a "they're engaged" relationship😋

also a lil introduction about me i'm 19! my full name is emily but please call me em! i am mexican (MEXICORRY RISE🇲🇽) my pronouns are she/her/hers. i've been a fan of harry since xfactor days so i'm not new to this fandom🫶🏽 that's all you get rn ;)

-all the love,

em

xo🐝

[bichromedelinquent]

It was times like these that he really wished he could evaporate into thin air. It wasn't like he didn't know that it was possible to sit right behind him more like he wished it wasn't the case. The guy was weird enough already and giving him body contact would only make that weirdness amplify. That and well the idea of clinging to another person made his cheeks feel like they were on fire. "I told you I'm not gonna ride in no side car." Sakura grumbled out wrinkling his nose at the silly idea. Even if a side car would be perferable than having to wrap his arms around the ex-furin student but compared to being seen in the silly side seat. This was less embarrassing.

He was already regretting his decision of agreeing to hang out with him. "Would you shut up!" The first year exclaimed trying his best not to let his cheeks get any redder than they already were. This was supposed to be a quick little hang out, go eat food come back hang out over. Promise kept but the guy was making this long and painful. "You said not to ask if you had one, pretty sure that means you don't got it." Which he wouldn't be surprised if this bike was stolen, some poor guy out there probably freaking out wondering how he misplaced his expensive vehicle. "Just stop talking." He couldn't handle the way he spoke to him somehow his words seemed different.

"Alright alright I'm getting on already." The whining call of his name Endo made was just not what he'd been used to. This was the same guy who not too long ago tried to break him down while they fought. The promise he made was probably more than likely not going to be kept as he was sure the guy didn't know how to not be weird about it but at least he was going to try right? "Fine. . ." Sakura uttered under his breath rolling his eyes knowing that he'll probably come to regret that but Endo was trying to be different so might as well give him a chance.

Once he climbed on it took him a moment to figure out where to put his feet, noticing the small foot rest on either side. The idea of driving was appealing though that would mean that he'd have to trust Endo's coaching. "Did you teach Takiishi too?" Sakura asked curiously. If he was going to allow the guy to teach him how to drive might as well find out if he had any prior experience in teaching. Fishing. He had no experience in it but he's heard about it from other people, Not like the people he used to live with ever took him out to even try such a thing. Takiishi seemed to always be on the receiving end of whatever Endo planned out, he couldn't exactly tell what kind of relationship they had. It was . . . interesting. "It cant be that boring." At least they would be doing something rather than what he's used to. Sitting in his room quietly waiting for the hours to tick by, really anything would be better than that.

There it was again another comment that he just needed someone, anyone really to slap tape over Endo's mouth. "C-can we just go!" The grade captain was already nervous as it is, he wasn't helping. A quick breath left him as he waited for them to go, his grip on his shoulders were firm but the moment the bike pulled off the speed made his hands clench. Like a cat trying to find it's best grip, the speed though exilerating was still frightening. His hands left his shoulders to instead wrap around the raven's waist tightly. Sakura's body immediately clinging to him not wanting to fall off, he'll yell at him later all he wanted to do was make sure he didn't fall. But if he were to be honest he liked it, the speed, how it felt as though they seemed to be cutting straight through the wind, the way everything felt so freeing. Endo might've been wrong about a lot of things but this was clearly not one of them.

Lying wasn't his strong suit not when so many people were able to read him, something he wished people would just quit doing and let him lie. Just believe him even if it's the shittiest lie he's ever told. As much as he hated to think about it there were times when Endo caught his attention while not in the way the older male would have loved. It was more so about how though this guy was supposed to be dangerous, lame and bad right down to his core, he still had this caring side. Someone who once had his hands around Sakura's neck was the very person offering to feed him, wanted to hang out with him outside of a rematch. He was a very strange guy to say the least.

Mismatch irises focused on the larger frame in front of him, attempting to read the expression on his face. Endo was either very good at lying or he was being genuine when he spoke it was really hard to tell at this point. The question threw him off since he was pretty sure that the two were probably never separated and while he didn't care if Takiishi came around or not, he'd rather not deal with the guy for now anyway. "No! I was just sayin' he might wanna come with. Does he know you're coming out here?" Takiishi was too much of a mystery and if he came to Makochi just to get Umemiya's attention once, he couldn't imagine bringing the guy out here again. Might light an orphanage on fire just to get a rematch. Even if things seemed to have ended on good terms after the fight, Sakura didn't trust him. Hell he hardly trusted Endo but between the two, Endo seemed at least a tad more sane than the other.

The first year rolled his eyes at the idea of the three of them hanging out, he was already hanging out with Endo. "Yeah I don't think so. Guy doesn't seem friendly and if he starts throwin' punches I'm not gonna stand there and take it." And get his ass kicked there was no doubt about that. Sure it was a high probability that he'd lose but he'd go down swinging.

"Plenty and I'm not being a meanie if it's true!" Anytime the ex-furin student opened his mouth it was always questionable. Meanie? Was he mocking him? Rolling his eyes for the hundredth time since being surprised by Endo's presence, Sakura let out a heavy breath as he did his best to not swat his arm away. Thankfully the older male pulled his hands off him quicker than normal. . . this time.

At least he apologized so he'd be willing to overlook the action for now except he had a feeling that this wouldn't be the only time he'd deal with those tattooed hands. The grade captain waved him off as he ran off while he turned on his heel to go home and get ready for whatever the guy had planned. This was going to be a LONG day.

Really it didn't take Sakura too long to get ready and for the better part of the day he texted back and forth with his friends. More like they texted him and he struggled to get messages back out but he was getting at least a tad bit faster with text. Now it took him three minutes per message instead of eight. Walking through the city with his hands shoved in his pockets he couldn't help but notice the red motorbike. It was definitely not something he's seen around town in fact he doesn't recall anyone riding one of those as much.

Once the helmet was removed from the driver the first thing he notice was the familiar sight of dark curly hair. Oh. It was him. The guy must have a really good job if he was driving one of those. He looked like a completely different guy compared to how he usually dressed.

One question that finally dawned on him and he wasn't really sure he wanted to know the answer either. "Where the hell am I supposed to sit?" The split toned teen asked hoping that this was a joke, he'd never ridden on a bike nor behind someone which was clearly how two people would ride something like this. Cheeks burning at the idea that he'd have to wrap his arms around Endo while the other took them to their destination. Wait what did he just say? "You don't have a license but you want me to . . No." He wasn't about to take that helmet. Nor was he about to get on some dumb motorbike, if they needed to drive somewhere then they could just stay where they were.

"Hah?! No I'm not riding in no side car and I'm not holdin' onto nobody and I don't know how ot drive." Except he couldn't deny the small twinge of excitement at the thought of driving. Nor could he deny the fact that Endo did look cool which he wasn't about to tell him that anytime soon either. Regardless of what he said out loud, he snatched the helmet out of his hands and looked it over once or twice. Catch their own food? What was it about this guy and thinking up things he's never done before? "I've never gone fishing…" It sounded interesting and the grade captain wanted to do it but if he failed to catch anything then they'd not eat. "Do you know how? Whatever let's just go." He groaned out trying his best to not stand there looking dumb the whole time. Taking one final look at the helmet as if mulling the idea over in his head, he finally shoved it onto his head and struggled to get it strapped on before climbing on and gripping onto his shoulders unsure of where to set his hands.. He was already thankful for the helmet since it was currently hiding his reddening cheeks.

[poemnic-tarot]

What does your Higher Self want to say to you?

(Disclaimer : This is a general reading please only take what resonate. For entertainment purposes only)

⚜️ 🕯 🪲 🕸 You Are Loved 🕸 🪲 🕯 ⚜️

Pile One Pile Two

Pile Three Pile Four

⚜️ 🕯 🪲 🕸 You Are Loved 🕸 🪲 🕯 ⚜️

🎨Pile on🎨

Lily Ponds

Quotes: “See?, we are right. We will alway be okay.”

“With the lost of identity, you now have an unlimited way of acquiring a new one.”

“You have been strong, I know you’re trying so hard to hold on and it’s working. You tried so hard to do the right thing, everyday things and it’s taking everything of you to just breathe. But I’m here to say, you’re doing an amazing job love. And I’m proud of you. I’m proud of how you hold on and alway choose the higher road. The road to healing and in choosing your choice, you will alway come out on top.

We are alway with you, your strength and determination is admired across realms. Being strong enough to let go of attachment take immense inner strength. You could say, get to know your inner demons and learned how they tick and you did it. You did that. And by you doing the work, we are at a better place. So I want to thank you,and I can’t wait to show you who we have become. We got strong but in a different way. Your hope got us to where I am the happiest person in the world. Don’t you alway wanted a pet? But never trust yourself and your capabilities enough to get one??Well, guess what, we did it. We did everything we thought we couldn’t because of what’s holding us back. We did it all because you’re doing the work now and it paid off. I’m reaping all your hard work, if you’re thinking that what you’re doing will not amount to anything. Let me tell you, you’re dead wrong. Keep going dude and hold on to hope and let go of things that’s keeping you Chained. Time to get on a Pegasus and fly and when we decide enough is enough and it’s time to heal. Nothing can stop us.”

Love,

Me

How can Pile one love themselves more?

Whispers of Love Card - no. 18 : Embrace your emotions. Allow your feeling to surface and be accepted.

Poem verse- The Devil by @cant-find-my-name

“The Devil broke rank

And step up to me,

It said take my hand

And let it all free

The madness, the resentment,

The rage

Show them what you’re made off

Let it uncage”

Song - Dynasties and Dystopia by Bren Joy, Denzel Curry & Glenda Proby

“I might, just might kick your butt, go run amok then

paint my nails

Never learned to raise my hand, was too busy raising

Hell

Everything I know I am, you should go and save

Yourself

Thought you had my number, huh?

Congratulations, you played yourself”

Signs - Pegasus, Monkey, 11, Pillars of Creation

Movie Recommendation: Princess Mononoke

⚜️ 🕯 🪲 🕸 You Are Loved 🕸 🪲 🕯 ⚜️

🕷Pile Two🕷

Roses

Quotes : “Your perception may be affected by your emotions”

“What blocks you from feeling a sense of wholeness each and everyday of your life?”

“Hello, how are you?. Not doing great isn’t it?. You’re thinking about something, something that you just can’t figure out. Are you feeling stuck?. It’s okay, I’m just here to let you know that you can get out of that. It’s not end all be all. Let start fresh, if it isn’t working, why keep going right?. Let try again, let do it all again. Yes, it is a drastic decision to do it all over again but, you’re not starting from nothing. You are starting from experience. This time it will be different because you gained a different perspective and lessons from the previous experience. Let look at it from a different angle yeah?. You alway see a square but let me tell you, you’re right, it is a square. But, time to see a cube now, we’re going beyond level surface. We are diving deeper into things, especially your emotions. Why are you feeling stuck?Stale?, like a piece of bread that’s out for too long. Why does life feel the same?, day after day. Nothing different, nothing change, nothing happening?. Well, your feeling is valid and it is true from where you’re looking, but we both know that no days are ever the same. And that’s the objective truth.

You can make the day different, so different, so drastically different from all other days with just one act. Start something you never did before, like a new hobby or hobbies. Don’t you alway want to try out a new hobby anyway?, volunteer? Doing charity work?. Well, do it, cause I guarantee you from then on, things will never look the same again. I’m here with you, alway. I have witnessed your frustration, know how deep your claustrophobic of the same routine, how deep the fear of it runs. I understand. But good new!, dear, we managed to get ourselves out, out of the metaphorical cage. Believe in the impossible because I’m here to tell you, impossible? I don’t know her. Once I see the solution, the answer has never been clearer. Sleep on it to see one.”

From me,

Your one and only

How can Pile two love themselves more?

Whispers of Love card: no. 15 - Practice Compassion. See things from a fresh perspective.

Poem : Young Love by @cant-find-my-name

Young Love - How I had miss it

Completely

Young love did not come to visit

Me,

Maybe I was too damaged

Maybe I thought it was too bothersome

Maybe because there wasn’t anyone,

Such life altering crush on a person

Did not befall me

I did not go towards being

Romantically incline,

My youth was full of angst and painful

Confusion

It would have been more fun

If, and when I was young

I had fell in love with someone

Song: Our Love by Curtis Harding ft. Jasmine Sullivan

“And after all. (After all)

The rain will fall on us two

But I’ll keep movin’on

Proud and strong with you, with you”

Signs : Oak Tree, Blue tit, Blue, Yellow, 104, Feathers

Movie Recommendation : The Sea Beast (animation in Netflix)

⚜️ 🕯 🪲 🕸 You Are Loved 🕸 🪲 🕯 ⚜️

🧚‍♂️Pile Three🧚‍♂️

Garden

Quotes : “You don’t notice your progress in life because you are alway raising the bar”

“Just because you can take it doesn’t mean you have to. Suffering is not a superpower.”

“Congratulations!, we did it!!. We alway knew we could do it but to have it confirm in the 3D?, take that life. Every daydreams, all the creations in our head, come alive. FINALLY. I am so proud of you, us, to be able to come this far. It hasn’t been easy my love. But look at us now. Finding our true love, our true passion, finding our path, finally. We nearly give up and give in, listen to all those distractions and the ‘you should you this’ and the ‘you should do that’, infringing on our imagination. Gatekeeping our dreams, I would like to say to those people, “fuck off” politely because no one can stop us when we literally see our dream come alive. We did sacrifice so much just to get here so I would like you to compensate. Take back what you need to. The journey was hard, so now it’s fun time!. Work hard play hard you know?. I know there’s still so much to do and a war to win but, we won this battle. So why not celebrate and bath in all the glory. This is just one in a thousand projects that we can achieve. Once we found our true passion, not even ourselves can stop us.

I love you so much, you need to take care of yourself more. True victory is when you are healthy to enjoy everything that you’ve won. Don’t ever stop dreaming, your imagination is what got you here winning, don’t hide it. Everything beautiful you can think of, can and will come true. Your dreams is coming alive.”

- Love, me

How can Pile 3 love themselves more?

Whispers of love card: No.30 - True Love. This love is once in a lifetime.

Poem verse : A Paradigm Shift by @cant-find-my-name

What you couldn’t see in the past

You can see it now don’t you?

The patterns, repeating like a circle

Life is a vicious cycle

Yet, still new pain formed

On top of old ones that still buried

Beneath it all,

I can see a door

Opening for the first time

But what does it take for me to walk through it?

Songs: Day’n’ Nite by Kid Cudi

“Day and Night (what, what)

I toss and turn, I keep stressing my mind, mind

I look for peace but see I don’t attain

What I need for keeps this silly game we play, play

Now look at this

Madness to magnet keeps attracting me, me

I try to run but see I’m not that fast

I think I‘m first but surely finish last, last”

Signs: Sparrows, Fireworks, A kiss, Dragon, Peacock

Movie Recommendation: Purple Heart

⚜️ 🕯 🪲 🕸 You Are Loved 🕸 🪲 🕯 ⚜️

🐹Pile 4🐹

Surprise

Quotes : “You are confident, after all we are one.”

“See?,we are right. We will alway be okay.”

“Sup, guess what?. You’re right, listen to your intuition. There’s a saying, fear is loud but intuition whisper. However, for us, our intuition is screaming. Trust it, whatever you have in mind, it’s coming. The ultimate love you’re seeking? It’s coming. Well, It’s already came to me so trust me when I said, it’s coming to you. Even that beautiful groups of friends you alway wanted to have. Now we have that. Finally right? So many good things are coming for you, be prepare or don’t, either way it’s on it way.

You are loveable, you are amazing and you deserve better. You deserve better people around you and deep down you know that and is waiting for that. So guess what? they’re coming. And you deserve it all love. Every beautiful relationship you’re yearning for. Be confident in that you are worth it all. Everything will work out, no more being alone, cry alone, fear alone, live alone. This life is not meant to be lonely for us. The great love you harboured will be return. Forgive all the ones that did not know how to return your love, or how to give it back to you. They don’t matter anymore. Forgiveness will ease the burning anger in your heart. No point spending your energy on people that are not willing to do it back. We have somewhere else to be, it’s including You & Me. But only for a little while and then, Boom!. Soul family.”

- Kind regards

You

How can Pile 4 love themselves more?

Whisper of love card : No.29 - Forgiveness.Nothing is gained by holding onto past disappointment.

Poem: Safe Blanket by @cant-find-my-name

“The world seem to be against me

But you whispered in my ear

‘That’s not true, why don’t you look closely’

Stop telling yourself lies

The sky only bring you calm

The trees evoked your peace

The river set you free

The stars shared your longing,

Curious eyes filled with

Mystery

The world is here for you

If only you let yourself be

And let yourself see”

Song: Nirvana Girl by Sorn (ft. Yeeun)

“I, I’m on my way to be

Nirvana girl, a newer better me

Out of this world, enlightened and free

Nirvana girl, that’s what I’m gonna be

Kinda think it’s crazy how I used to be intimidated

Kinda waiting for someone to

Save me from my indecision

Oh my god, when I should’ve saved myself”

Signs: Candle, Masks, Krystal, Violin, 222, Book, Horse

Movie recommendation: Marriage Story

⚜️ 🕯 🪲 🕸 You Are Loved 🕸 🪲 🕯 ⚜️

Thank you so much!. See you soon!